sweet-star-storybook

[sweet-star-storybook]

-looks at date of the last post on this blog- OOF IT’S BEEN OVER A YEAR this blog was always going to be a “post whenever” kind of blog but oops lol it’s a bit wild that the last thing I posted about was working on In Your Orbit, because I probably haven’t worked on it since that post jskfdhskj I switch projects a lot to avoid burnout anyway, but I’ve still been lacking focus in other areas too, unfortunately. I’ve been plugging away at Starglass Zodiac as best I can, but how monstrous that project is has worn on me a bit. Though that’s pretty normal considering where I am and the time of year. October-December is always hectic for me, and lately I’ve been using what’s left of my willpower and motivation to make holiday gifts for people, which has been draining in itself. Artists don’t sleep in December lmao I did a bit of a retrospective/update post thing back in July for Starglass’s 6th anniversary that talked about how slow the progress on that series feels right now, but... eh. That seems to be the thing I’ve been saying since forever so I guess not much has changed, but I am proud of the work I have completed thus far, at least. It is my biggest project to date too, so I guess that’s also to be expected That said, I’ve switched from that one for the time being, as a particularly long-standing depressive episode has got me in a weird mood. Luckily it’s not too bad with the intrusive thoughts this time, but I still find my mind returning to a different place this week. Or more specifically, a different story project. It’s called Demon Exchange, and you can read this post from 2019 if you wanna know more about it, but it’s basically the perfect embodiment of my current mindset, so perhaps that’s why it popped back into my head again. The two mains are basically two sides of my psyche that have to co-exist in the same brain so there’s that lmao I find it interesting that that particular story seems to come into much sharper focus when I’m depressed, but not every time for some reason. While I knew from the start that the themes present in it are related to that and the general absurdity and bad luck of my own life as well, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I thought about this series at length, outside of drawing Eva’s pet bat Kiki, I guess. I have no idea how far I’ll get with actually working on it, but I’ll do what I can while I’m thinking about it. I did a bit of tweaking to Eva’s design and did a sketch of her full demon form, so that’s something! It’s the odd duck among my WIPs for a variety of reasons, but the art style is the most noticeable one as this is currently the only thing I do that’s solely in greyscale with no plans for a colour variant. Normally I’m known for using absurd amounts of saturated colours instead, though I do really love doing B/W stuff too, the contrast hits so nicely and differently than in colour. Ah well, I get to play with pencil texture shading again so huzzah!

[sweet-star-storybook]

You know, one of my favourite things about writing is when you see something unrelated and that ends up sparking a new idea out of almost nowhere, and it completely rips you out of what you were doing prior until you get all the ideas and scenes down. It’s seriously the best feeling, and it happened to me today!

Context: I saw a news article about the Hubble Telescope that captured photos of a galaxy 35 million light years away called “The Eye of the Serpent”. Naturally this got me thinking about Ophiuchus and before I knew it I came up with an idea for a spin-off/sequel thing with him that takes place after the events of Starglass Zodiac. Don’t know how deep it’ll be and I doubt it’ll be as long as SGZ itself, but this gives me a whole new space themed world to make, so that’s pretty rad if you ask me! Who know where it’ll take me, but it’s been really fun writing Ophiuchus as a fish-out-of-water in this case, while still keeping his villainous attitude. It might lead to a redemption arc too, even if it’s independent of the main story.

————

And in other exciting news, I finished all of the thumbnails for In Your Orbit last night!!!!! :D

The scenes are far from done and this page count will be adjusted once I fully flesh them out but aaahhhh!!!!! This is such a big step towards completion and I’m so happy :’D 

I’ve been looking into the production side of things as far as self publishing goes, and while that is a deep and complicated rabbit hole in and of itself, it’s still really exciting!!! I’ve got a template/book builder set up so I can put the pages in as I go, so I’ll be really excited to see it all come together eventually. :’D I’ll do a mock-up of the whole thing in sketch form first as the “first draft” and then edit/finalize from there. It’s really cool!!!!!

[sweet-star-storybook]

July 2020 Update

Hey all! I don’t normally make a lot of posts like this since my life doesn’t update significantly enough these days to warrant it, and with the pandemic being a thing for the foreseeable future, pretty much everything else is on pause right now. But, here I am anyway. I mostly made this update for the art sites that have journal systems, as currently those still have the hiatus post I made over a year ago, but I figured I’d post it here too. It’s not gonna be as heavy as that one though (well, some of it is but not overall). To be clear this is not a hiatus announcement, just thought I’d mention a few things going on with me, current projects I’m working on, and a periodic reminder of where you can find me and my stuff online. Speaking of which, here’s a list of links: On Tumblr (yes I have too many blogs lol) @akysi (you are here!) - My main art blog, primarily for finished work. @sweet-star-sketches​ - My sketch blog, used for posting sketches, WIPs, late night doodles, etc. @sweet-star-storybook - My “story blog” as I call it. Not a full-on writeblr really, but I do post excerpts, character analyses and the day-to-day struggles and successes of story development in general. A lot of long posts here! @starglasszodiac - My blog for my webcomic, Starglass Zodiac. I post update links and reblog art for the project there, you can read the comic itself here. @sweet-star-cookie - My personal blog, kind of a catch-all for my interests. I reblog my art and comic updates here as well. Commission Info - I’ve been meaning to update this for a while and expand it with more options, but doing so has been taking so long lately. The TOS has been updated at least, but if you have any questions feel free to DM me. Ko-fi Donations - Not sure if I’ll be running commissions through this as well in the future, but if you’d still like to send a few dollars my way, I’d be mighty grateful. Thanks! Elsewhere Facebook | Twitter | DeviantART | Pinterest | Weasyl | FurAffinity My Website - Still kind of a WIP honestly but I’m trying to build this as sort of a showcase for my most recent/best work rather than everything in a chronological sense, and with pages dedicated to my projects individually. So I guess like a more casual portfolio?   My Redbubble Shop - The place where I sell all of my merch, both original work and fan art. I might expand to other shops like I initially planned, but right now I prefer Redbubble’s setup. Toyhouse - A big WIP as well in terms of info, but this is probably the most comprehensive way to view all of my OCs and story ideas, even if they’re nothing more than a title or rough concept. Beware of spoilers though! Twitch - Not active here yet, but I’m planning on at least trying to stream sometime in the near future once I get a better mic and computer setup. I am terribly shy about my art process and being watched in general, so it might be a little touch-and-go for a bit, but I think it’s worth trying. Alright with that all laid out, I’ll get to talking about a few things going on with me lately, and what I’ve been working on. This part is very long, so I’ll put it under the cut!

Keep reading

[sweet-star-storybook]

you guys I think I finally found a good way to thumbnail!!! :’D I find thumbnailing terrifying because it’s so much to think about and I wrestle with the same panel 60 million times when I try to draw them digitally but doing them on these little post-it notes lets me try and wrap my head around what I want in each page without thinking about it too hard!!! There’s a lot that I wanted to fix or redo as I went but I’m trying to just keep going and not go back to the other thumbnails until after. It’s still scary and I can only do it in short bursts but I’m finally making progress on something!!!!

[sweet-star-storybook]

Character Comparisons - Episode 1: Arack [Feather Knights] vs. Scorpio [Starglass Zodiac]

Well hi! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Fear not, the word train has not stopped, but outside of my art a lot of that progress has been behind the scenes lately. I’ll probably make an update post about that later but for now, I’ve got another discussion topic! :D This is an idea I’ve had kicking around for a while that is similar to my OC Design Talk series, but will focus more on a character’s personality and mannerisms rather than their visual designs and the concepts behind them. Specifically, comparing characters that seem to have similar personality traits, and exploring the differences between them to set them apart. Not that having similar characters (especially across different stories) is a bad thing, but I think this will be an interesting way to explore their nuances and examine what makes them unique, even if they’re given a similar foundation for their traits. Every artist or writer has specific character types and tropes that they gravitate towards, and I’m certainly no exception! From what I’ve seen so far, this is also a good way to delve into details about these characters that I might not have ironed out previously, both inside and outside the context of their original stories. So with that, let’s get started, shall we? :D Strap in, this is a long one!

To start, I’ll point out some of the main similarities between these two that prompted me to do this comparison in the first place. As you can probably tell by the art, both of these characters give off a sort of “edgelord” demeanour, intimidating, distant, and probably not the most agreeable. I would say that Scorpio fits this category a bit more than Arack, but I’ll explain why in a bit. 

Scorpio's more the "silent but deadly" type, either not saying much or having his blades speak for him. When he does speak he does so quietly, but with a sharp directness. There are no “frills” to his language, often giving a response with as few words as possible. Excessive frippery exhausts him, and he’ll likely get more agitated if you are unable to get to the point quick enough. He's a tough person to break the ice with, relying on intimidation to ward off others (and usually succeeds). Those who are committed to getting to know him are aware of the danger, but do not fear it.

Arack has similar trust issues, albeit for different reasons, but he's far more outspoken than Scorpio. His lack of trust manifests more in skepticism and analyzing a person’s motive than anything else. His experience as a travelling merchant makes him privy to any attempts at swindling or deception, and this translates to a skill in bartering as well. He's also not shy about calling out lies or other crap either, he has no time to tolerate that. He has skills in sewing and textile work, so his "designer sensibilities" do come out often. If you're doing something bad (or worse, wearing something bad) he will tell you, and he won't sugar coat it. He will provide suggestions for improvement if he feels you are worthy of it, though it still comes off as very forward usually.

Arack does not, however, pick a fight at any opportunity. In fact he is quite skilled at picking his battles to make up for his lack of physical prowess. He’ll make a quick and unassuming escape where possible if it means avoiding a confrontation or escalating one further than necessary. Unlike Scorpio, who is a highly skilled ninja-like warrior trained in weapon use, Arack relies more on his intelligence to get him out of tough scrapes, and has grown quite weary of physical confrontation in general. I would call both of them quick-witted, but for different reasons. Arack can usually find ways to avoid a conflict altogether, while Scorpio, if anyone actually challenges him, would take the opportunity to show his skill and end the fight quickly. Scorpio will take you down if you cross him, but neither go looking for trouble. Both are quick to analyze those around them, and choose who they associate with with precision and care. Scorpio does this out of necessity, at least in his mind, to avoid repeating past history, while Arack does so more out of preference. I would describe Arack as “prickly”, as his outspoken nature makes him rife with sharp comebacks, and if he doesn’t like you, he is quick to use them. His designer sensibilities give him an additional advantage when assessing someone’s personality, typically based on how they dress and carry themselves. This social profiling is actually how he meets Snowy, who, especially in his costume and armour, doesn’t have much to hide. This in turn makes him a reliable judge of character, and one that becomes very useful when recruiting allies later on. Scorpio does similar profiling, but his skepticism is sometimes unwarranted, or is not always as necessary as he deems it to be. More of a reflex, if anything.

Arack’s visual appearance does lend itself to intimidation like Scorpio, but he doesn't actively use it to ward off others. It usually happens anyway, so he has a “take me or leave me” attitude about it. Scared reactions to his appearance do not phase him, at least not to the point of self-deprecation, but he does cover all of his eyes in some way when acting as a merchant. If nothing else, Arack wants his work to speak for itself, so fewer distractions the better. He is quite tired of it all, especially when it happens so often that it’s not worth mulling over anymore. The reason I would describe Scorpio as more fitting of the “edgelord” category is that he is far more mysterious and brooding. You’d be more likely to find him sitting on a rooftop doing just that, even if he does spend this time scouting for tactical reasons. His ninja-esque appearance corroborates this feeling. Arack has nothing to hide, really. He is what he is, and usually doesn’t bother much with concealing himself or his past. He could tell you his father was a selfish king who was responsible for his son’s transformation and then banished him from the kingdom after it all went wrong, but who has time for that? The one exception is Arack’s desire to reject his royalty in general, which he does so virulently. He primarily does this to avoid special treatment and association with his former kingdom, and will not take the opportunity to “throw his weight around” as a royal instead of a commoner. He is very averse to the power structure presented with royalty, especially when the politics of said power often leaves common folk crushed underfoot. So when he ends up with not one but three wingbearers (i.e. the people with the most royal status in this universe) at his side, he is more than a little annoyed. His response when Snowy meets Dee is quite literally “what, another one?” This view does lend itself to a more charitable side to Arack, however, as his first introduction has him giving some blankets he made to a homeless family, but under sworn secrecy. When Arack is later attacked and accused of stabbing another man in the village, that family comes to his rescue by enlisting Snowy’s help to clear his name. His kindness outshone his intimidating appearance and his past as an exiled royal. Scorpio, meanwhile, spends a great deal of his time either hiding his past from others or actively seeking to change it. He’s a lot more “on guard” than Arack, as his story involves not only looking out for Cassie, but looking out for Ophiuchus’s return. In his mind he cannot let his guard down, for if he does, bad things will happen. Scorpio is a lot more vengeful than Arack for this reason, as most of his motivation derives from ending the fight with Ophiuchus and keeping Cassie safe from him, making him the main connector between the protagonist and antagonist for this story. Thus, he is caught in the middle, and it becomes clear pretty quickly that he does not know how to properly deal with it all, even if he’s good at hiding that fact. From Scorpio’s point of view, Cassie’s arrival on the Astral Plane is very much an example of that repeated history that he has tried so hard to avoid. Namely, her role as the next Starglass. Her birthday falls under Scorpio’s sign, and therefore it is his responsibility to train her. This parallels Scorpio’s past with Ophiuchus, who took him under his wing to help him control his poison abilities. Not only has this been a role reversal for Scorpio, but one that he has almost entirely negative experiences with. Teaching is not his forte to begin with, much less for the saviour of the Astral Plane. Ophiuchus was once a much kinder soul, one that Scorpio trusted, and seeing a similar kindness in Cassie brings up that past more often than he’d like.

The two approach their affectionate sides a bit differently too. Neither are prone to public displays of affection, but still rely primarily on actions speaking louder than words. Arack will not declare his devotion to you or your cause outright, likely taking a nonchalant or “okay let’s get this over with” kind of attitude, but he will be there reliably and repeatedly. If you have earned his trust in this way, you can count on him, no questions asked. This does happen in Feather Knights, when the crux of Dragon Knight’s plan to overthrow the kingdoms is revealed. Among the four in Snowy’s group, he’s the only one who completely backs out of navigating the kingdoms’ politics going forward, knowing full well it would lead to a battle that he wished to have no part of. He soon discovers, however, that even he cannot run from a fight entirely, and the rising tensions amongst the villages bring him to more conflict than ever. A kind of conflict that, by that point, could only be fought by taking up steel. But, he still becomes one of the key players in the fight against Dragon Knight, not through steel but through his resourcefulness, rallying allies under Snowy’s name and providing crucial backup in the final fight. He does, albeit begrudgingly, partake in the fight, but focuses more on support for his group (i.e. Snowy, Dee and Loralei) rather than the army as a whole.

Arack is not one for physical contact. Not to the point of touch aversion necessarily, but a hug or something similar simply wouldn’t do much for him emotionally. He may not object to it, but he likely won’t react to it much either. He’d much rather have the companionship itself instead of the usual displays of platonic love, even if he does genuinely care for someone. Displays of creativity or intelligence are far more likely to get you on his good side, but he’s not one to admit it.

Scorpio, on the other hand, is actually far more accepting of such things, but under VERY rare and specific circumstances. Perhaps like a real scorpion, he’s got a hard outer shell but an inside that’s a bit softer than you might expect a poisonous blade slinger to have. He is far more emotionally volatile compared to Arack, so even if those emotions are largely suppressed, one must break through that hard shell to get to this level of comfort as far as affection or friendship is concerned. He relies on the few people who truly “get” him, so even if he only hugs you once in his life, it’ll be at a time where it really counts. And sometimes, he might need it more than you. So hug him, if you dare.

Arack, generally speaking, has fewer walls to break. He is incredibly world weary, especially for his age, but his contentment with independence still shows through in how he treats relationships. As mentioned earlier, he has a very “take me or leave me” sort of attitude, so he rarely feels the effects of abandonment or betrayal as far as those relationships are concerned, at least not in the same way as Scorpio. I wouldn’t say he’s emotionally detached, but he’s not the “touchy feely” type either.

Scorpio has suffered far more emotional pain, and thus the suppression of his emotions is viewed as a necessity. He may not be “touchy feely” either, but a lot of his reliance on intimidation is to protect himself from others out of a lack of trust, especially with his own anger and aforementioned volatility. Anyone familiar with his history could get under his skin far more easily (see: Ophiuchus), regardless of how stone-faced he is otherwise.

If you reach a high level of trust and affection with Scorpio, he would kill for you should the opportunity arise. He may be able to take a life, but if you get on his good side he’ll protect you with his own. He can be quite the guard dog should you be in any danger, and this is no more evident than with his relationship with Cassie. She and Scutum are the two that are closest to him, but the dynamics they share are quite different. With Scutum being a literal shield, he isn’t phased by much, and the odds of him getting hurt in any permanent way are far less likely compared to Cassie.

Not that Scorpio views her as weaker necessarily, especially after dedicating most of his time to training her, but he still feels she is in more need of protection in general. She’s a lot “softer” than an impenetrable shield after all, emotionally and physically. He worries for her more, even if he does so in secret, and develops an older-brother-to-younger-sister relationship with her. Seeing Cassie in emotional pain would hurt as much as seeing her in physical pain, so despite being far less emotionally expressive, he does try to be more than a guard dog for her, in whatever way he can. He may not talk much, but he can listen. This does cause a bit of friction later on in the story when Cassie’s role as the Starglass begins to intersect even further with Scorpio’s past with Ophiuchus, and in some ways, mimicking it. Despite the level of trust he and Cassie have built up at this point, he is still very opposed to the idea of revealing everything that happened with his former mentor, especially from his side of things. He (and the rest of the signs, for that matter) fears that should she learn of the true power of the Starglass and its past dangers, she will inevitably follow the same path as Ophiuchus, willingly or otherwise. Cassie’s cries for transparency are not unwarranted, given that she has to fulfill her role as the Starglass by the end, but that doesn’t make it easier for Scorpio. In fact, his protection over her causes him to actively procrastinate on reaching “the end” of her role, recognizing the Herculean task placed on a 14-year old’s shoulders. Eventually he runs out of options, and goes into the final fight with a lot of inner conflict, and that all comes to a head when the end inevitably arrives. Overall, I would describe both Arack and Scorpio as characters that began with a similar foundation and past history, but ended up on two ends of the same spectrum as far as “world experience” goes. Their universes have different rules of course, and both have a history that they’d rather forget, but how they deal with it is a stark contrast. Arack has already had most of his learning experiences prior to the events of Feather Knights, so things like his identity, purpose and world view are already present to a point where he is comfortable. He still sharpens his social tactics, gains new allies, and learns to navigate a tense political situation during the events of the story, but he does not possess nearly as much inner conflict. Scorpio, on the other hand, is caught in the middle of learning for the majority of Starglass Zodiac, and his inner conflict has direct consequences throughout. This adds a sense of duality into the dynamic between him and Cassie, as he may be the teacher, but he ends up learning as much from her as she does from him by the end. --------- And there you have it, folks! As I said this kind of post will be one of many in the future, and this stuff will develop over time as these stories progress. I’ll probably make a list of these too so you can navigate the excerpts by character or series. For now, I hope you enjoyed this character exploration, and I’ll see you next time! :D

[sweet-star-storybook]

Okay I have no idea how to describe what’s happening right now but I’m like.... having a moment????? A really good moment??????

So I was thumbnailing some pages for my comic earlier today, and if you saw my last post you’ll know I’ve been wrestling with them over the past day or so trying desperately to make something coherent.

I’m trying to do a thing where each day I try and focus and thumbnail on my iPad until the battery runs out, and that forces me to switch to my laptop while I charge it up again. This way I can either write more script or read another comic for fun and research purposes, and give myself an art break in the process. Or if it’s a bad day for creating, take a break by watching YouTube or something.

Dealing with depression has made me weirdly fearful of experiencing new stuff lately, especially in mediums that I want to create in myself, like comics. I fear that I’ll read them and then spiral into despair over how great they are, as if that makes my own stuff lesser somehow. This has happened to me before, and recently, but I read some comics tonight anyway, hoping I would at least get the research if not the inspiration. I’ve been accruing a list of them in a bookmarks folder and it’s been a great way to jump in whenever.

Tonight’s binge reads were Parallax and JL8, two I chose randomly from my list to catch up on and two I HIGHLY recommend

The intent was to read more comics in general and study them like “okay what do comics from people who actually know what they’re doing look like?” and while I did get that knowledge, I just found myself getting lost in them the further I went in. Yes I was making some mental notes about things I noticed and wanted to implement into my own stuff, saving screenshots and whatnot, but over time I got really invested. I reacted to the plot twists, I laughed at the jokes, I cried at how pretty all the art was and wished I could make it that way. And since both of these were comics I’d read before, I remembered some of my favourite parts too.

I reacted.  And I loved it.

I never thought I would forget what it feels like to not have my emotions drain me after feeling them, even the happy ones. I never thought I would forget what it feels like to react to something, ANYTHING so strongly, and in this case, so positively. And I never thought I would forget what it’s like to not feel a heavy heart, if only for a brief moment in time. I have no doubt this feeling is fleeting, but I can’t help but think this is a glimmer of light and hope, however small it might be

Even after this, after reading those two comics in their entirety and enjoying it as I did so, I went and read the 9 pages of my own comic that I have up right now. The same comic I’ve been trying so hard to continue for months now and has been on hiatus for almost a year.

And you know what? I liked what I saw.

Sure there are things I could do better now and good LORD I have so many things I have to draw but I still liked what I saw. The gears were turning in my head about how I would continue, scenes I hadn’t completed yet. I even went back and looked at the thumbnails I did earlier today, and I liked those too.

And I just felt such a sense of.... passion??? Happiness???? Inspiration, I guess????

Reading these comics, for the first time in a while, made me feel something. Stoked the fires of my love for what I do. What I make, and the stories I want to tell, and embracing how silly and wonderful they are. Not being afraid, especially to laugh and have fun. I have never truly lost this passion, I love my work and have loved my work for some time now. But with my life being what it is right now, that confidence has been so fleeting. I think more than anything, this moment I’m having gave me a glimpse of self love. Right now, I not only love what I do, but I love me for doing it. My comic may be on pause right now, but it won’t be forever. And for the first time in a while I don’t feel guilty or scared about that.

And that is so, so important for me right now.

[sweet-star-storybook]

-several hours later-

I GOT IT

wow catch me making 57475863475638 edits to the SAME page thumbnail trying to fiddle with the SAME COMPOSITION and destroying what I’m drawing while I’m at it

[sweet-star-storybook]

update it’s now the next day and I have 3 more options for the same page and I still haven’t finalized it

send help

wow catch me making 57475863475638 edits to the SAME page thumbnail trying to fiddle with the SAME COMPOSITION and destroying what I’m drawing while I’m at it

[sweet-star-storybook]

wow catch me making 57475863475638 edits to the SAME page thumbnail trying to fiddle with the SAME COMPOSITION and destroying what I’m drawing while I’m at it

[sweet-star-storybook]

I always get very skittish whenever I actually make progress on a story that has any degree of permanence to it, like posting a new comic page or publicly discussing a scene from one of my WIPs. It’s frustrating to say the least, and has led to much more procrastination as of late, as if I’m constantly not ready for anything. And if I make any changes or are late on something, I have to justify it in some way to negate my sense of guilt. I didn’t know why this happens at first, but now I think I do.

One of the most paralyzing things about being a content creator, especially a story writer / artist, is how much you have to commit to and stand by your ideas. Not just in concept, but in execution; before, during and after. Especially after. Not being able to do this properly to others, be they co-artists or a prospective audience, has been my downfall many times, regardless of how much I truly believe in my work and the ideas in it. The biggest example of this happened in my last year of animation school, where I lost the chance to lead a team and make a short film. You have to convey not only your intent, but your confidence in that intent, and that degree of permanence I mentioned earlier makes this a scary and difficult endeavour. I lost multiple nights of sleep and broke down crying on every pitch day for our films because of this very notion.

The current internet climate and cancel culture is a part of this too. Too many times have I seen creators pour their hearts and souls into a project, only to get burned alive by waves of vitriol and bad faith criticism through every possible outlet online. I can’t imagine waking up to that kind of insanity on social media every day, much less once or twice. Of course this effect varies per situation and per creator, but considering how shaky I am already, I do not think I am prepared for this. I probably will never be prepared for this.

I constantly wonder if I finally get a story out in a published or finished fashion, I will be completely exposed, having to defend every aspect of the work just to justify it’s mere existence, much less it’s merit. I wonder what people close to me will think about it, and about me for making it. I truly, wholeheartedly love my stories and characters, but I of course cannot assume others will. They work for me, but I cannot verify if they will work for anyone else BUT me, and that variable is nothing short of terrifying. I fear I will not be content with that, and either regret the specific choices I made or regret even doing the thing in the first place because the emotional burden outweighed the accomplishment. I cannot make much progress with this fear, slowing down an already slow process, and being this skittish messes with my already fickle sense of focus. 

I guess the tl;dr of this post is I’m really fucking scared and I don’t know what to do.

[sweet-star-storybook]

THE WORDS ARE REALLY FLOWING TONIGHT BOYS

[sweet-star-storybook]

Hey all, back at it again with the random posts, aha. I have been working on something that will formally address the month long art / comic hiatus I’ve been on, but that’s taking a bit longer than I expected. So as a break (I guess?) I took it upon myself to update what I call my Original Stories Timeline, i.e. a chronological list of all of my story ideas (as of October 2019 anyway). I have not posted this list anywhere, but I like to update it on my laptop every now and again.

There is a bit of ambiguity with some of the years that these were made, as sometimes there’s a difference between coming up with the title or lead character for a story versus actually making it a “thing” with an idea or scenes attached. As an example, Moth to the Flame technically began when I first drew Kiida in April of 2015, but aside from a snippet of reasoning for why she was an archer, the story as it is now did not start to take form until I drew Zander in December of 2017. Other times I flat out can’t remember when some of these stories were made, and digital files don’t always have the correct dates. 

For this post (and for curiosity’s sake), I wanted to add up and categorize them to see just how many stories I have in this brain of mine. It was actually quite a fascinating exercise, so I thought I’d share! I might as well list the titles for each category too, even if some of these are only titles at this point. I’ve renamed a few over the years and others are still working titles, but if any pique your interest at all, feel free to send me an ask about them! I love chatting about this stuff. :)

This got quite long once again so I’ll put it under the cut. Enjoy!

Stories that are old and/or need revamping: 6

Titles in this category:  Pasha & Marley (2003), Sonora (2004), Billy and the Rainbow Fish (2005), Spirit Fire (2006), The Darkest Light (2013), Polarity (2013).

These are stories that I’ve either had since I was a kid and would need overhauls to make them usable, or are simply dormant stories that I haven’t touched in a while and may need similar upgrades. This doesn’t mean that I will revamp all of them, but either way they serve as an interesting look at my progression as a story writer and character designer. My oldest story dates back to around 2003, and to put that into perspective, I was 8 years old that year.

Stories that are just titles / a smattering of ideas right now: 10

Titles in this category:  Fletcher (2016), The Dragons of Kitevale (2016), King Ace (2017), Ochako & Mai (2018), Psychanimate (2018), Mage Lights (2019), Trickster’s Gambit (2019), Switching Gears (2019), The Owlands (2019), Goodnight, Starlie (2019).

I always have too many of these for my own good, but this happens a lot if I have stray character designs that I think could maybe go together, and then before I know it the gears start turning in my head to add something more. I’m also really good at coming up with titles and logos to make me love the idea even more, even if there’s not much else to it. I guess you can blame my affinity for wordplay and clever puns for that, haha. Coming up with titles is really fun, but at this point I don’t know what kinds of stories these will be if I choose to develop them, so I gave them a separate category. Making this timeline reminded me of how many logos I still need to make!

Short films / animatics that I could also make into short comics: 7

Titles in this category:  The Aurora’s Child (2016), Blue (2016), Harpy (2017), Hearth & Lantern (2017), Leif & Shel (2018), The Healer (2019), In Your Orbit (2019).

My background in animation has afforded me the skills of writing for animation, specifically short films. I have always loved short films that communicate their story through little or no dialogue, and using the character’s actions and emotions to do the talking instead. Unfortunately my dreams of making a short film during school did not come to fruition, but that doesn’t mean the ideas have to go away, regardless of what form they take. I’ve made too many at this point to stop now anyway! I will likely do both a comic and an animatic for each one I decide to flesh out, as I want to practice both kinds of storytelling and they each have their advantages. Plus I could potentially make a comic anthology of these shorter stories in the future. Much like the animatics, the comics would likely be “silent”, in that they communicate more with action than dialogue.

Things I call “illustration worlds”: 2

Titles in this category:  Fruit Bats (2017), Lucky Stars (2019)

This one is a bit strange to explain, honestly. I picture these as more of a series of character interactions rather than a cohesive narrative, i.e. snippets of ideas carried out in a bunch of individual scenes, portrayed via illustrations. I am reminded a lot of the character interactions that exist in concept art for games and movies (the ones from Spyro: Reignited Trilogy come to mind). These illustrations would feature characters that could be in any sort of environment or setting, and we learn more about their personalities through each one, whether it’s a simple domestic scene or a fantasy world. There may not be anything much deeper than that, but there doesn’t have to be. A great deal of energy and expression can still be shown with these, and I love illustrations that have their own little stories contained within them. I could even compile them as a series of themed illustrations, hence why I still gave them titles (and once again, titles are fun).

Novels / story ideas I don’t plan on making into comics: 2

Titles in this category:  Shining Trigger (2014), A Mightier Pen (2017)

I’ve always loved writing long-form prose ever since I was a kid, and based on how many words these posts end up having, I can’t say much has changed! As such, I’ve always wanted to write a novel someday, but it does require a different skill set than script writing. With my background in animation and my new love of comics added in, I’ve done a bit of both. I might do novelizations of some of my comics later on, but these stories are, for the most part, better suited as written prose in my mind. They focus more on the characters and dialogue, rather than an imagined visual design. Not to say that novelists can’t paint detailed pictures of a character or world’s attributes, but it is communicated differently via words than pictures, especially when you consider the mind’s eye of a novel reader. That “design” has to be malleable enough for the mind’s eye to interpret, but clear enough so the reader knows what it is. I’d have to make sure that any reader could picture what I’m describing with my writing alone, and that’s a difficult balance to strike for a primarily visual storyteller such as myself, but a challenge worth taking nonetheless.

Large comic stories that have big worlds, a lot of characters, etc.: 3

Titles in this category:  Starglass Zodiac (2015), Id Pariah (2015), Feather Knights (2017).

I call these “The Big Three”, as they are the stories that will take the most world building, character creation, and story development to complete. They will have multiple chapters, expansive lore, several character arcs, you name it. I am very excited to tackle all of this development of course, but I want to make sure these are given the time they need to come to fruition. These projects will take me years to complete, which is why I choose to balance them with smaller projects in between. The potential these stories have is not something I want to squander, so even if the production moves slower, I feel it’ll be worth it in the end.

Smaller comic stories with fewer characters, simpler concepts, etc.: 5

Titles in this category:  Moth to the Flame (2015), The Onomancer (2015), Demon Exchange (2018), Take Wing! Emilia’s Tale (2018), Ashes (2018).

This is worded kind of strangely, but this category is meant for stories that have a smaller “scope” than the larger comic stories I mentioned. That doesn’t mean I love them any less or that they’ll be less developed, but they are far simpler in concept and rely less on the development of a massive world and lore and more on individual character experiences. I feel like any creator needs these smaller projects to tackle every so often, especially when tackling the behemoths gets tough. These stories will also have a faster turnover when it comes to completion, and I hope to complete one of these stories in the near future. These will also help me practice writing good foundations for stories, like proper character motivation, pacing, and relationship development that would translate into investment for the reader. There’s a great degree of skill required to do this correctly for any kind of story, but starting smaller in this regard is usually better.

Smaller stories that are supplements or spin-offs of other stories: 3

Titles in this category:  Counting Hearts (2019), The Serpent and the Sun (2019), Riders of Eldrigar (2019).

I know it probably seems a bit early to be thinking about stuff like this, but I do like thinking about the extended stories or supplements that I could add to my pre-existing projects, especially with characters or ideas that would best be told separate from the main story, be they backstories or another perspective on something. I also like the idea of stories that could exist in the same worlds, but can function independently of them as well. It’s a lot of fun to see how these could connect with each other, like having your own equivalent to a cinematic universe. This category currently only has smaller supplements to my comic stuff rather than fully fledged sequels, but who knows what might happen later on? I need to make the beginnings of these stories first!

And with that, the grand total is: 38!

-me after reading this total and spending way too much time on this post-

In all seriousness though, while it is a bit daunting to see just how many things my brain keeps tossing at me and how much that number has increased in recent years, it does make me excited for the future, even if I panic about time a lot. It tells me that I always have stories to tell, and new ones could be right around the corner. I’ll always have something to work on at least! I might periodically update this post as I edit the timeline as well, but for now, thanks for coming along on this little journey with me! :D I hope it was at least entertaining, haha.

[sweet-star-storybook]

Hey all, back here to ramble a bit lol. As someone who constantly has a lot of things on her mind, I’ve noticed that I’m in serious need of simplification in my life, namely from the organization side of things. It’s mostly my art stuff, as I’ve more or less organized my living space at home after moving back in. 

Right now I’m working on preserving my backlog of traditional art over the years, I call it an “artchive”. It’s been pretty fun going back and looking at the art I’ve made up until now, but even I underestimated just how much of it was there, all on different sized paper too. Add 5 years of art school into that and, well, I’ve had quite the task to compile it all together. I keep running out of page protectors, haha.

I’ve also been going through my art supplies, which will need to be fully assessed and put away once the artchive is done, and hopefully after that my room won’t look like a storm hit it. A storm of papers, that is. That might give me more of an incentive to do traditional art more frequently too.

On the digital side of things, I’ve had quite the journey attempting to go through my massive backlog of files on my laptop, some of which are backups from previous school years and some are in file types I can’t even open anymore. Needless to say I’ve procrastinated too much.

I’m hoping that once I get everything decluttered, I’ll be able to focus more on important stuff, including keeping up with my comic. I had to take a break this past while for health reasons, so my productivity is derailed a bit. I also want to keep tabs on site maintenance for my social media, which should make it easier to post stuff in the future, but right now it’s just a massive list of WIPs. Along with my main website and my comic site, it’s a lot to keep track of.

I’ve made progress at least, but it’s been really slow unfortunately. I’m constantly haunted by not finishing things, so this stuff doesn’t help all that much. I try to do some form of organization once a day, even if it’s only a few things at a time. Hopefully I’ll get there eventually!

[sweet-star-storybook]

OC Design Talk - Episode 2: Scutum [Starglass Zodiac]

Okay I promise I’ll talk about the pre-existing designs I have eventually but talking about new ones is just too fun. xD This is Scutum! He’s the laid-back and optimistic companion to Scorpio. 

If you’d like to share this art without the talk, go to this post from my art blog. Alright, on to the discussion! :D

Unlike most of the other zodiac companions, Scutum is actually a lot more experienced than Scorpio, and served as a mentor to him in his early days as a sign. Sagittarius found the shield in one of the more cavernous corners of the Astral Plane, seemingly left behind after a battle that had long since ended. Thought to be an inanimate object in his shield form, Scutum was gifted to Scorpio to protect himself in his training. Scorpio soon found that Scutum was merely stuck as a shield after years without use, and was able to snap out of it again when fighting alongside him. He can switch between forms at will, but risks getting stuck the longer he stays a shield, especially if he has no one to carry him.

Grateful for his help, Scutum stuck around, lending his laid-back demeanour to placate many tense situations. And they were tense for a while, as Scorpio had a tough time trusting anyone at that point, not even himself. But, being impervious to pretty much any attack, Scutum did not fear him nor the volatility of his weaponry. He wasn’t phased by Scorpio’s initial aggression either, and did what he could to earn the young scorpion’s trust.

They also found that Scutum was immune to poison, making him the perfect companion as Scorpio learned to control his powers. Though reluctantly at first, Scorpio would use him as a target practice for his poison barbs and long range attacks. He assists with Scorpio’s duties as an apothecary, knowing as many antidotes as there are poisons.

Over time they developed a strong friendship, and eventually the mentor-student dynamic went both ways. They learned a lot from each other, and as a result Scutum has no issue with razzing Scorpio when he can. He’s lucky he’s a shield. 

When Scorpio is assigned as Cassie’s mentor, Scutum often tags along to provide encouragement where possible. Scorpio isn’t known for his outward displays of emotion after all, and he has to learn as much about being a teacher as Cassie does being his student. Scutum does a lot of good in helping Cassie in overcoming her fears when tackling some of Scorpio’s more dangerous challenges.

Design wise, Scutum was originally based on a pill bug, as I thought their plates made for a good shield concept. I also made his limbs “flatter” in this version to match the plates.

While I certainly like this design, and I could have made it work after giving it another refinement pass, I found there wasn’t a lot to it concept wise. When I decided to incorporate the symbols into these designs like the main zodiac, a rhinoceros beetle came to mind pretty quickly when incorporating the cross on the shield. Beetles are also known for their armour-esque outer shells, so it worked out in the end. I liked the idea of his horn curving backwards as he changes into a shield, forming the equivalent of a raised metal adornment that a lot of them have. 

I didn’t want his horn to be too large on his head for this reason, but also because I didn’t want it to be too imposing. A larger horn might have worked for a bolder, more battle-hungry character, but I always pictured Scutum being a pretty level-headed one instead. More “defensive”, if you will, and his rounded or squared-off features make him appear more friendly.

There was a lot of trial and error when it came to his head, as I liked the “flatness” of his initial pill bug design with the plates running down his back, so I came to a decent compromise with the horn. Though not removable, it ended up looking a lot like a helmet, which I think fits well with his armoured look.

I might change his colour scheme later on once I finish the other zodiac companions, but I like where it is for now. It’s based on the look of an ancient scutum (as in, a type of Roman shield) that had a red and gold colour scheme. I had to make sure he wasn’t too close to Libra though, who shares a similar scheme but with red as the main colour and gold accents. Scutum’s darkest colour is actually a reddish purple too, perhaps a nod to Scorpio’s attire.

Overall I’m quite happy with him, and excited to keep building up the roster of the zodiac companions. :’D Thanks for reading! <3

[sweet-star-storybook]

Current Project Talk [August 2019]: Part 2 - Moth to the Flame

This is Part 2 of my project talk for this month, Part 1 is here!

This part will focus on Moth to the Flame, the second of my active comic projects. This particular project has been on pause for the past month or so as I worked on revamping Starglass Zodiac, but I hope to get back to it soon. I’ll talk a little bit more about the plot of this one as, compared to SGZ, this story is less well-known even amongst my friends and family, much less my followers. SGZ had the luxury of being developed over my time at school and thus had more exposure in that regard.

Alright, let’s do it! :D

If you’ve read part one of this talk, you’ll know that I consider Moth to the Flame the smaller of the two projects, as the scope of the story and characters is much smaller than that of Starglass Zodiac.

And unlike SGZ, Moth to the Flame is not currently being uploaded in a webcomic format (at least not right now), but I still consider it an active project. It likely will have a digital release at some point, but the timeline for this project differs from SGZ. If I can manage it, the timeline will be much faster, as I hope to publish this story in some way within the next year or so. SGZ may be my first comic, but MttF will likely be the first one completed. Digital first, then hopefully a physical release somewhere down the road. The ultimate goal for this project is, like the others, getting it published and holding the book in my hands someday.

As I mentioned earlier, the scope of MttF is smaller, meaning that overall the story is a lot simpler. The cast is smaller, and the world itself is far less relevant to the story at hand, (i.e. less “lore” involved). That’s not to say that I want to get lazy with the world or lower the stakes, but rather to focus on the characters themselves.

Fundamentally, the world the protagonists live in (a giant forest) serves the narrative as a source of danger in their travels. There isn’t a deeper meaning to the world like it would be in SGZ, where the Astral Plane and how it functions is integral to how the characters interact with it, and the history of the world is important to the present plot. In Moth to the Flame, it’s more about the individual, in this case Kiida and, later, the Z-Squadron. SGZ has importance in the characters too of course, but the actions of the characters in MttF do not have a grander purpose to the world at large. They are individuals trying to find their way in a world much bigger than them, and I felt this was appropriate for a story about insects.

The core of Moth to the Flame is the interactions and relationships between the protagonists, and the struggles that they overcome together. You’re not really supposed to question why other insects in this world are not anthropomorphized in this universe, as that is not relevant to the story either (think DuckTales). The predators that hunt them are just that: predators, and narratively speaking they aren’t more than that. I thought about expanding the world multiple times in the process of writing this story, but I felt that distracted from where the heart of the story was in the first place. 

If I write it well enough, the reader will have a deep connection to the characters and their relationships as they grow and develop over time. Kiida’s initial goal in this story is simple: find her way back home. How she became separated from her home and why she acts the way she does is initially hidden from the reader as it is to the rest of the characters, and the journey to revealing that takes up a good chunk of the story along with returning Kiida to her home at Willow Bush.

Moth to the Flame may have simplicity in overall scope, but the same cannot be said for the art style I wish to have for it. I’m planning on a lineless storybook-esque feel to it, for both the backgrounds and characters. SGZ may have more complex locations, but the character designs and art style are much closer to my baseline when making art. It’s the style I gravitate to the most when I don’t have a specific one in mind. That said, I think the lineless style really lends itself to the general “feel” of Moth to the Flame in the tests I’ve done so far. Somewhat whimsical with a nice focus on colour, but also simple enough to convey expression without complex lines and textures.

Overall, this story feels a lot less daunting compared to Starglass Zodiac, but I love both of them equally. I think that’s why I like doing both at the same time, to strike a balance between the large and small when it comes to storytelling and the learning process along the way. The heart of all of my stories will always be the characters, and I hope that remains true through both of these projects.

[sweet-star-storybook]

Current Project Talk [August 2019]: Part 1 - Starglass Zodiac

Hey all, I’m back with another talk post! This time I will be discussing what I’m working on project wise. I have two projects on the go at the time of this post, hence the split into two parts (Part 2 is here!). Most people who follow my work already know what I’m working on right now (at least when it comes to Starglass Zodiac), but I figured I’d talk about it a bit anyway for clarity’s sake. And it’s fun to talk about in general. :’D

I consider a current project as something that I’m actively working on, as in scripting, drawing, and/or completing in some sort of order. I have numerous story projects tumbling around in this brain of mine that I do make art for in my free time, but they are not active projects as a whole yet, if that makes sense. I also have some that I specifically will not tackle until I get more experience making stories/comics overall.

I likely will not make more posts like these unless I switch and/or finish projects and announce new ones, but I put the date of posting in the titles just in case. I will continue the OC Design Talks for any series I have, regardless if the project they are from is in active status. But for now, let’s talk about Starglass Zodiac! :D

For this part I’ll focus more on what I want out of the project as a whole and discuss the progression of it so far. If you are curious about the comic itself and what it’s about, you can check it out here!

Alright here we go!

Starglass Zodiac is my first comic project, and I consider it my “big” comic project at the moment, with Moth to the Flame being the “small” one (I cover that in Part 2). By big I mean that the story, world and characters are quite large in scope overall, at least compared to MttF.

I knew this fact going into the project, as with a zodiac theme one is guaranteed at least 12 more characters in the roster outside of the protagonist. This story’s setting has a lot of lore potential and I plan to explore a good chunk of that with the main plot, and perhaps even more with supplementary comics in the future.

And with a larger scope not only comes with more characters and character development, but also quite a bit of worldbuilding. This story keeps a delicate balance between Earth and the Astral Plane, and both need a good amount of “screen time” in order to be established properly in the comic, especially in how relevant they are to the main protagonist. This, in turn, makes the story much longer, and I’ve had to make many decisions on what will be shown and when. The same goes for the characters themselves, as I had to decide the relationships and interactions of each character, and how many of those were plot relevant.

Actually developing these concepts, especially for the backgrounds / environments, is a whole battle field in and of itself. I still have quite a bit of it to do even though I’ve started the comic already. I am far less skilled in background design compared to character design, so I’m hoping that the backgrounds will develop their own unique style over time, similar to how an animated show or movie does.

Hindsight is 20/20 of course, so with the experience I have now I might not have started my comic career with a project this big, but the development of SGZ kind of led that way anyway. I won’t cover the whole story of how I came up with this comic, but I’ll say a little bit about it.

I started developing the idea for Starglass Zodiac in the summer before I went to animation school, and during my time there I was able to bolster my skills as not only an artist but a visual storyteller. In turn, my second year of animation school gave me an opportunity to develop this story and complete work for my character design class simultaneously. I would not have had nearly as much of the design work done without that opportunity, and this is why I was able to have the initial launch of the comic in July of 2017.

I definitely don’t regret starting SGZ when I did (nor do I regret revamping it two years later), but I also understand just how much effort I’ll need to put into it. This comic will take (and already has taken) years for me to complete, and I am content with that. But, I must find a balance between burnout and motivation in order to keep up with it for the long haul.

My main goal with Starglass Zodiac is similar to that of my other story projects: I want to publish it when it is finished. However, with SGZ being my first comic it has the dubious honour of being what I call my “learning” comic. I have never attempted a comic project like this before, and I didn’t really grow up with comics either, so this is still new territory for me. I’m still learning the nuances of character interaction, dialogue, shot composition, page setup, and numerous other aspects that are unique to comics. These are things that I am excited to learn about, but I need to remind myself not to put too much pressure on myself when something doesn’t turn out the way it should the first time around.

Overall I love the story and I love the characters, and that will never change. I just fear that, with the illnesses I’m fighting and the general struggle of being creative right now, I won’t be satisfied with it in the end. But, I need to have more faith in myself overall, and remind myself that I need to finish the project before I can assess its outcome. And because this is my learning comic, I fully expect to look back on these early pages and make improvements afterwards, perhaps even doing a full remaster before publishing.

I hope that with having two projects on the go I can switch between them well enough to not get burnt out on one or the other, but rather use the combined skill and practice to make them better simultaneously. That’s the goal, anyway. In any case, I hope that I can continue to share the stories I love with everyone in a way that makes me proud to call them my own. For now I’ll keep plugging away as best I can. :’)

[sweet-star-storybook]

Finished another comic page today, the second one in a row that I was actually able to finish on time (as in, for Sunday). I am happy about this, but the tradeoff is I’m not too happy with the art overall. At least it matches with the other pages so far, but I wasn’t really feeling it today. Ah well, on to the next one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯