#if i wake up ! more fool me .

[icewindandboringhorror]

I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

[riacte]

mildly embarrassing confession: so i’m obsessed with no rolls barred plays blood on the clocktower and i don’t watch nrb outside of it but i really like the cast and it’s a fun vibe. (also watched a bit of noobs on the gooftower and tpi official vods) there were some standouts cast members when i first watched them last year but this time i’m generally enjoying everyone and liking everyone’s different play styles.

then in my sleep deprived state i start to become slightly obsessed with this one regular. just slightly. like i start hoping he gets big plays and screentime and funny bits. but i also want to see him mess up spectacularly and blow shit up for his team because he always gets stuff comically wrong and idk 💥💥💥 i don’t know why i picked him out of everyone but whatever, it’s just a 2h long game, cool to pick a bias for absolutely no reason, and i enjoy everyone regardless.

then one day it hits me like a truck. it’s because this guy reminds me of martyn. not in the sense he’s like martyn but he has the same effect martyn has on me. inexplicable whimsical fascination and wanting him to explode while giggling and twirling my hair. it’s ALWAYS a witty british man who’s good at improv and also has a WIFE. i can’t fucking stand myself 😭

[starheirxero]

contrary to popular belief, the “t” in “tsams” does not actually stand for “the”, it stands for “transgender”! hope this helps 💜

[itspileofgoodthings]

I JUST LISTENED TO HITS DIFFERENT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE—-

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I've been doing so much research for my Fit disability fic (mostly research about prosthetics) and I've been doing a lot of research about hearing aids too, completely forgetting I have an Actual Person In My Life who uses hearing aids who I could straight up ask about stuff.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[andiloveyoutooangel]

"I know that face." Her voice is low, raspy from sleep, but still playful. He floats above her, caught in the act. Morning sunlight slits through the cracks in the blinds he's trying to close. Whatever doesn't fall on his skin lands like patchwork on the blanket she's curled up in, her tired eyes meeting his. "What are you worrying about now, hmn?"

"Ah, désolé, did I look worried just then?" Despite his self-assured tone, his expression betrays his sheepishness, as he ducks down to press a kiss to her forehead, "I only wanted to close the blinds so the sun wouldn't wake you before your alarm. I guess, uh, I woke you before your alarm, instead...?"

She's been so tired lately, is what he doesn't say, so busy and drained of energy. He wants her to be able to rest fully, as much as she needed, in the way where he'd threaten a solar eclipse if the sun dared disturb her on her first day off in so long.

"Taylor, you're so dear to me. Thank you." She says, simply, sincerely. Her smile is warmer than sunrays, "It's okay, you don't have to. Sun's good for me, in the winter."

"Ah. Okay, okay." So he leaves the blinds, slightly ajar. No solar eclipse then, if his love prefers the light. The dark of the room is warmly hued, tinged with mellowed gold. He hovers awkwardly, wings slowly flapping to keep him uncertainly afloat.

Wordlessly, she raises a wing and an arm towards him, an invitation, a request. Slowly, carefully, he lowers himself beside her. With much less care, she unceremoniously tosses the blanket over him so they're sharing, and he grins, ducking his chin beneath the covers.

He lets a wing drape over her, covering his charge, his human, his partner. In turn, she intertwines a hand with him and closes her eyes. Safe, content, trusting.

"I love you." She says, squeezing his hand gently.

"I love you." He returns, and they doze until the alarm wakes them properly.

[todayisafridaynight]

grabbing rainbow sherbet vodka for the stream because I know it's what ichi would want 🤞

bro grabbing that fucking super mario vodka what the shit 😭

[thehardkandy]

Politely explaining to the medical intern at the doctors office that, yes, I think about dying but,like, not in ways that matter. He gives me a disbelieving expression

[asciidot]

If i did not have insomnia i would be unstoppable

[moodyseal]

These days all feel identical to one another. I'm so tired

[iloveeverystuff]

Nvm tummy buller is working thanks for caring grrrr 🙄

[maraschinotopped]

gonna call it quits and simply get to bed before i accidentally stay up way too late... im already up to 1am and i know i have things to do tomorrow ''>.>

[agp]

the nukes are aimed on ottawa but that house in the west end with the two bougie bitches playing god is being evaluated a lot more than my ass over there. my little brother the lords favourite and audrey the peoples favourite is so easy guys but come on hes not even answering his dms lol

[lem-argentum]

I THINKK I MIGHT NEED TO ADD RAHA TO THE F/O LIST IMMEDIATELY MAYBE

[roscvcins]

general tag drop.