#sorry alex april fools bitch

[agp]

the nukes are aimed on ottawa but that house in the west end with the two bougie bitches playing god is being evaluated a lot more than my ass over there. my little brother the lords favourite and audrey the peoples favourite is so easy guys but come on hes not even answering his dms lol

[floorbed]

pen playlist tiem. brain full of thoughts i think this is my longest playlist ever . lyrics and annotation and sections under the cut for funsies heh

home

me and my husband - mitski

and i am the idiot with a painted face / in the corner taking up space / but when he walks in i am loved / i am loved / me and my husband we’re doing better / it’s always been just him and me together / so i bet all i have on that furrowed brow / and at least in this lifetime we’re sticking together

turf war - momma

the kings and queens are on the court / they’re sitting pretty on the floor

this charming man - the smiths

a jumped up pantry boy / who never knew his place / he said return the ring / he knows so much about these things / he knows so much about these things

utopia - cowgirl clue

living in a great utopia is quite nice is quite nice / living in a great utopia you pay the price you pay the price / living in a great utopia roll the dice kiss goodbye / living the dream living the dream living the dream

bubblegum bitch - marina and the diamonds

got a figure like a pin up got a figure like a doll / don’t care if you think i’m dumb i don’t care at all / candy bear sweetie pie wanna be adored / i’m the girl you’d die for / i’ll chew you up and spit you out / cus that’s what young love is all about

…

oh dear diary, i met a boy

(do the) act like you never met me - tv girl

the hidden kisses / the clumsy conspiratory glance / but i don’t really mind it no / i always liked the way you danced

it will come back - hozier

don’t give it a hand / offer it a soul / honey make this easy / leave it to the land / this is what it knows / honey that’s how it sleeps / don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ don’t be kind to it / honey don’t feed it it will come back

real men - mitski

little boys cry and look around for comfort and / always get what they want

song against sex - neutral milk hotel

and he said oh boy you are so pretty / enough to wrap tight in rice paper string / and when i finally kissed him / the whole world began to ring / lost like a bell that’s tipping over / with two cracks along both sides / and i knew the world was over / so i took a look outside

(running away before the trial and seeing the world for the first time vibes!)

exile, early party

april and the phantom - animal collective

i’m sorry april / but you’ll be fine till then / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom / i’m the phantom

(Pens First Summoning Dot Mp3)

insects are all around us - money mark

(from pens very first introduction in session 1 when he was walking in the woods and was described like looking like a lil insect)

bug - alex g

and when you go there / you stay there / bug in the crosshair / you stay there

king of carrot flowers pt 2 & 3 - neutral milk hotel

i love you jesus christ / jesus christ i love you yes i do

you’ll miss me when i’m not around - grimes

if you don’t bleed then you don’t die / cross my heart and hope to fly / if you like it then you’ll make it out alive / if they could see me now / smiling six feet underground / i’ll tie my feet to rocks and drown / you’ll miss me when i’m not around

rich bitch juice (HANA remix) - alice longyu gao

don’t you dare talk to me / bitch

fool - moonbounce

you could’ve let me think im right / i could’ve tried to keep my cool / i could’ve followed my own rules / i could’ve used you like a tool / i could’ve played a fucking fool

isle

hooped earrings - the front bottoms 

and you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / yeah you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again / and there are not so many options / there’s not so many ways that this could possibly end / so you have gotta do this now or you can never come home again

wicked boy - alex g 

real men walk / on the outside / on the outside / on the outside / and they take it for the team

black hair - alex g

it’s not what you are / it’s just what you did / don’t hang up the phone / i love you to death / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return / eternal return 

rabbit heart - florence & the machine

this is a gift it comes with a price / who is the lamb and who is the knife / when minas is king and he holds me so tight / and turns me to gold in the sunlight

oh ana - mother mother

i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god / i’ll fake god today / hop up on a cloud and watch the world decay

i am my own hell - teen suicide

i’m learning all kinds of tricks / how to drain the blood from my face

brick - alex g

i know that you’re lying / you think i don’t but i always fucking do

come back - alex g

made my promise and i’m keeping it for kicks / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this / yeah i really didn’t think that it would stain like this

river of the night 

trick - alex g

(this is what his Contract Signing Dream sounded like that’s all)

call this # now - the garden

call this number now / if you wanna check it out / well just do yourself a favor and just call this number now / call this number now 

long way down - teen suicide

you’re a spoiled kid who’s never gonna get / anything that you deserve / i know this life’s gonna be just fine / but with any luck you know the next one’s gonna hurt

business man - mother mother

talkin bout the business man / devil with a sunday plan / buddy with a stupid laugh / just talkin bout the business man / pretty little baby / pretty little monster / went to the good school / left with honors

king rat - modest mouse

deep water / deep water / senseless denial / i went down like a rag doll rat of a child

oh lucky lucky lucky lucky me again / i said it looks like i’ve got to use my feet again / well i just spent my last one hundred dollars / god i’ll pay my bill again 

after dying and being saved

new gods - grimes

hands reaching out to new gods / you can’t give me what i want / but what do i know? / i wanna i wanna i wanna let go / i wear black eyeliner / black attire yeah / so take me higher and higher and higher

…

only brand new gods can save me

home again - carole king

sometimes i wonder if i’m ever gonna make it home again / it’s so far and out of sight / i really need someone to talk to and nobody else / knows how to comfort me tonight / snow is cold rain is wet / chills my soul through the marrow / i won’t be happy till i see you alone again / till i’m home again and feeling right

miracle - paramore

and have i told you / i’m not going / cuz i’ve been waiting for a miracle / and i’m not leaving / i won’t let you / let you give up on a miracle / when it might save you

(Pen And Ori. Pen Telling Ori He’s Not Going To Stay At The Castle [Bc He Couldnt Imagine Not Seeing Her Everyday.] Pens Naive Optimism + His Want T.o Make Her Feel Better Abt The Future and The World And Everything)

dinner and diatribes - hozier

i knew it from the first look of / the look of mischief in your eyes / friends are a fate that befell me / head is the talking type / i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me / what you’d do to me tonight

(Pen And Juni Anthem)

funny - the scary jokes

and i laughed and i laughed and i gasped and i cried / and i tried not to think of my love as a punchline / but i knew the truth would catch up with me sometime / and oh what a funny joke am i

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3)

pretty funny - dogfight (lindsay mendez)

isn’t it funny?  isn’t it funny?  aren’t you funny? / pathetically naive and desperate to believe you could always find some good / well you misunderstood or you’ve been dreaming / cus people are just cruel

(pen crying on the bed in castle ravenloft dot mp3 Part 2)

until it goes - john congleton

oh my vengeance i swear will be biblical

…

my bride my bride how do i silence / this restlessness inside me / inside i see it kneeling through keyholes / my bride i need no absolution / on this day of my execution / just stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me until the horror goes

(abandonment issues pen be like *stay with me stay with me stay with me stay with me noises*. also one day i want pen to hurt everyone who has severely fucked with him and thats all [m****** and d******])

beautiful - carole king

you’ve got to get up every morning / with a smile on your face / and show the world all the love in your heart / then people gonna treat you better / youre gonna find yes you will / that you’re beautiful as you feel

don’t ask me to explain - of montreal

i’d like to marry all of my close friends / live in a big house together by an angry sea / am i the devil’s marbles don’t move on without me / who will be watching my body when i sleep / who will i believe in

(Pen Be Like I Love Ori And Juni And Alba And That Is My Disease. )

100 years - florence welch

i believe in you /and in our hearts we know the truth / and i believe in love / even the darker it gets the more i do / you try and fill us with your hate and we will shine a light / and the days will become endless / and never turn to night

...

a hundred arms / a hundred years / you can always find me here / and lord don’t let me break this / let me hold it lightly / give me arms to pray with / instead of ones that hold too tightly 

[alicetantenakira]

Banana Fish Fanfiction (Kimi no Nawa Au)

Anyone still remember Kimi no Nawa (Your Name) anime from 2016. It has been two years and I just recently rewatch it again. Why? This fanfiction make me. The writer really make an amazing story, i know how kimi no nawa au will work with Banana fish cause both of the main character is from different country.

Don’t worry The story isn’t focus with murder like the original, it’s follow a light flow like kimi no nawa. How both of them will interact with different life they have. She telling more about Eiji background and it follow the original manga (fly boy in the sky). Just for you know, in original Eiji didn’t have happy life before he come to new york and this fanfic really explore it. 

Banana fish fanfiction - “This Tender Gravity” by Angeldescendant (tumblr   @treesha-san ). Found her Story in here

Fandom : Banana Fish 

Relationship : Ash lynx / Okumura Eiji

Character Appearance:

 Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji, Shorter Wong, Alex, Kong Bones, Sing Soo Ling, Skipper, Yut Lung, Bianca, Nadia, Cain, Arthur, Dino, Max, Jessica, Michael, Shunichi, Eiji Familiy and Original Character Eiji older sister

Chapter : 11/12 (Last updated  24 November) - almost finish

Words :  54.558

Kudos : 221 

Hits :  3.340

Score : 9.5 /10

Preview Story

“Am I, am I really your boss? You must be mistaken?” Eiji ended up whispering to Skip’s ear.

By then, the child gave him the same reaction the mohawk man gave him earlier. “Oh my gosh, the floor really did a good one on you!”

“What’s wrong, Boss?” some of the people with cigarettes began to come closer. Why were all of them looking at him? Holy crap, what was happening? He couldn’t help but hold Skip in front of him, to the child’s surprise.

“W-Why are you all calling me Boss?” Eiji stammered as he started to inch closer to the door. “I-I think you got the wrong person.”

All of them looked at each other before finally starting to laugh. Almost everyone were now flooding closer and closer to see the commotion.

“Too early to do an April Fools, Boss!”

“G-Good effort though-“

“I got the first aid, what did I miss?” Mohawk man then sang out before looking around. “What’s up?”

“I-I-“ Shit, if these people find out the truth- But if they do believe he was someone else… he needed a mirror, definitely, and a freaking telephone. “Who am I again?”

Mohawk man’s laugh was the loudest in the din. He gave the medicine kit to Skip and threw an arm around Eiji, to his surprise. “Man, this is like all those radio soaps. Let’s play along guys. Poor Ash here landed his head on the floor during nap time. Definitely out of it.”

“Ash?” The stifling reality came like a freezing gust of wind as he took a mirror from one of the bar waitresses. He wasn’t Eiji. This- he wasn’t Eiji?

“Ash Lynx, gunslinger extraordinaire, and Boss of Manhattan,” he sang out. “Pretty sure you just suffered short-term amnesia or something. If you were not Ash, then the Magnum wouldn’t be strapped to your back.”

Eiji was shaking as he slowly pulled out a heavy object from his back. He was too enveloped with shock to notice it sooner. He looked at it in wonder. It was a gun. A real, real gun.

“So cool…” he managed to spew out. Everyone in the room continued laughing and cheering. They also made sure to get out of the way when the gun pointed at their direction.

“You running for the Academy now, man?” Shorter- at least that was the name the other guys called him- roared along with the rest. “Yo, fetch us some beer. Drinks are on me, folks. Dunno about you guys, but I know ‘Best Actor’ when I see one.”

Eiji peered at the mirror again as the rest of the people there continued having a good time, fuelled by the free drinks that Shorter secretly whispered they split the bill on. Skip began to dab disinfectant on his wound.

Compared to the face he had now, he felt sorry for the guy using his.

“He like a split-personality or something?”

“Something ‘round those lines.”

Shorter did not bring it up again and kept his end. Not a peep from the rest. This impostor kept his act and ended up doing things wildly different from Ash’s, however, and made Ash smile. A carefree smile. No hidden connotations. He smiled, pure and simple.

This fellow also was a pain in the arse to deal with, if he had enough time for himself to be honest. His gang was getting more and more suspicious as Ash asked them to participate in soup kitchens or in those dance and rap battles happening in the street, catching attention of even the folks in Harlem. Cain personally went to teach ‘not-Ash’ how to rap and took him to their jazz club, stirring up a storm for inviting a non-black outsider. This had Ash scratching his head and nearly sticking a gun at his mouth after he repeated for the nth time how their team lost against them in basketball.

“Basically, even with my body, that asshole can’t shoot for shit?” he said after Shorter repeated it for the nth time almost desperately pleading for Ash to grow another brain.

“His record was poorer than Bones’ and that’s saying a lot.”

Ash groaned. “What else did he do?”

“He’s been learning and teaching Chinese food to your members. He also asked for Cain’s help in making Thanksgiving turkey.”

Ash was too shocked to even utter a word and decided to lie down instead, attempting to pull out the skin off his face as he did. “I can’t believe it. I fucking can’t believe it-“

“You should check your wardrobe,” Shorter noted. This made Ash curse even more as he wrenched his closet open. He opened his mouth to emit a silent scream as he saw cardigans, bomber jackets, chinos, and collared shirts. He shrunk as he eyed the row of brogues and loafers and an off-white at the bottom.

“The fuck is that- that piece of fucking shit- where the fuck are my jeans- my Chucks- my dignity-“

“He chucked them out several days ago actually,” he laughed. “Said they’re a tripping hazard or something-“ Not-Ash asked him to tour him around the garage sales in uptown Manhattan actually and managed to haggle enough items in mint condition. In addition, he also had been thinking of bringing his gang along next time. They need new duds, gosh, Ash has no fashion sense at all…

“The fuck does that bitch know about streetwear, motherf-“ Ash had began ripping a collar from a polo shirt apart to excuse it as a distressed Henley. “We are gonna look for my missing Chucks even if we have to scrounge every bin in Manhattan.”

[internationalfandomgirl]

The April Fool

Characters: Misha Collins, Reader, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Alex Calvert

Pairing: Mixha x Reader

Length:  1,658 Words

Summary: April Fools Day is the day that most of the crew of Supernatural feared. Jared, Jensen, and Misha were pranksters all the time anyways, but usually this day was 100 times worse. The crew was nervous and they should have been, the kings of pranks were on set today.

Warnings:  swearing, pranks oh Chuck the pranks!, Reader is an evil genius

A/N: This is my entry for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s Bloom of Spring, Seasons of Love challenge. My prompt was April Fools Day. I had a lot of fun with this coming up with different pranks, and then the Twitter prank of March 22, 2018 happened and that added fuel to the fire. I hope you all enjoy, because I enjoyed writing it!

Masterlist

**Not my gif**

April Fools Day is the day that most of the crew of Supernatural feared. Jared, Jensen, and Misha were pranksters all the time anyways, but usually this day was 100 times worse. The crew was nervous and they should have been, the kings of pranks were on set today.

“Morning guys,” Jared said with a yawn to Jensen and Misha as they walked into his trailer. “I’m just gonna grab a water, you guys want anything?” Looking back over his shoulder seeing them shake their heads no turning back to the fridge as he opened it. “Holy fuck!”

“What? What’s wrong,” Jensen jumped out of his seat going to Jared.

“My fridge is now staring at me.” Jensen burst into uncontrollable laughter as he comes up beside his best friend.

“Wait what,” Misha asked standing up to take a look joining Jensen in his laughter. Every item in the fridge had two googly eyes glued to them.

“Okay, which one of you did this,” demanded Jared.

Both Jensen and Misha held up their hands replying in tandem, “don’t look at me.” Jared eyed his friends suspiciously before shaking his head and shutting the door.

“Whatever, let’s go. Let’s get this show on the road.” Jared lead the way to the stage to start the day of filming.

The boys were given a short break during filming to reset the stage for the next scene.

“Ohhh chocolate chip cookies, my favorite,” Jensen exclaimed as he picked one up to take a bite. “Pft! That is not a chocolate chip cookie,” Jensen spit out the offending food.

“What is it? Raisin,” Jared enquired.

“Nope, potatoes and black beans. That was a let down.” Jensen shared a bitch face with Jared. “Guess I will just have a doughnut,” Jensen lifted the lid to the Krispy Kreme box. “Oh come on!”

Jared broke out laughing. Whipping away a tear, “Oh that’s a good one,” he stated before grabbing an apple out of the doughnut box. “Misha was this your doing?” Misha reached for a chocolate egg before turning to Jared.

“The vegetables? Heck no!” Misha unwrapped his egg and took a bite. “Ahhhh! Pft!” A slimy yellow mess came flying out of his mouth. “Okay, who dipped a raw egg in chocolate,” he yelled out. The crew all looked up with shocked expressions on their face.

“That wasn’t you? Man, you are really dedicated to your own pranks. Falling for one yourself trying to make it seem like you are not the one doing it,” Jensen narrowed his eyes at his friend.

“It’s not me! I swear!”

“Misha open up” Alex demanded as he pounded on the trailer door.

“Dude, what has your panties in a bunch,” queried Jensen.

“Which of you Asshats did it,” seethed Alex.

“Did what?” Jared rose from his spot motioning for Alex to sit down.

“Here let me get you a drink, I was already getting something for these two then you can tell us what is going on,” Misha offered. Alex sat in the seat offered him as Jared moved to sit next to Jensen on the sofa.

“Sorry, I’m out of the good stuff, Coke will have to do,” Misha apologized setting four glasses on the table, “now what did one of us supposedly do?”

Alex let out a deep sigh, “I went back to my trailer after that last scene. I had left a box of cereal on the counter after lunch, and when I came back it was knocked over and there looked to be a mouse in it. I freaked out and threw the box outside. I then went into the bathroom to wash my hands and there was another mouse in there. I grabbed a broom and smacked it. Well when I looked down it wasn’t a mouse. It was a fucking beetroot. So which one of you jerks did it?” Alexed let out a huff as the three oversized children laughed at him.

“God I wish I would have thought of that. That’s a good one,” Jared exclaimed as he lifted his drink to his lips, “Ahhh! What the hell?!” The drink exploded in his face as the other glasses did the same thing.

“Misha, what did you do,” Jensen glared as he drew a hand across his face clearing the liquid off of himself.

“I...I didn’t do anything,” Misha stuttered.

“There are mentos in the ice cubes. Damn it Misha,” Jared hollered as he made is way to the bathroom to clean up. The door shut behind him with a bang. A moment later Jensen, Alex, and Misha heard a loud pop and Jared yelped, “Damn it Misha!”

“I didn’t do anything! What now?!”

A seething Jared stormed out of the bathroom, “poppers under the toilet seat, really?”

“It wasn’t me! Why would I do that to my own bathroom? I swear, someone is doing this, it’s a setup I swear!”

“Whatever, let’s just go over to my trailer for this read through.”

The boys headed over to Jared’s trailer where there was a cake sitting on the counter. “Dude that cake looks awesome let’s dig in,” Jensen smiled before grabbing a knife from the drawer. Cutting into the cake he sighed, “really Jay? I thought you were over Misha’s pranks but you do one yourself?”

“What are you talking about?”

“This is sponges covered in frosting.”

“It’s you! You are doing this and trying to set everything up to look like I’m pranking everyone, aren’t you,” Misha questioned as he peered at Jared.

Alex laughed as he sat down on the sofa and grabbed a handful of skittles tossing them into his mouth. “Dude that is gross!”

“What,” Jensen asked.

“When you are expecting Skittles but it is a handful Skittles, M&M’s, and Reese's Pieces all together it is gross. What kind of twisted person are you man?” Jared looked shocked at Alex’s question.

“I would never do that and you know it. Here, I have Mike and Ikes, and Tootsie Rolls,” he handed the candy container to Alex.

“Thanks,” Alex pulled out a Tootsie Roll putting the rest of the container in his lap. “Seriously man, come on,” he said holding up a carrot.

“Who has been messing with my candy stash? Which one of you jerks did this?” Jared was met with three shocked faces.

There was a knock at the door, “Ummm Mr. Padalecki you are needed on set, We can’t find Mr. Ackles, Collins, or Calvert, please tell me you are in there,” a PA called.

“They are in here, we will be there in a minute. Let’s just drop this and get today over with.”

“Dude, you hacked my Twitter again,” Jared groans.

“No I didn’t, I swear,” Misha defended himself.

“Then why do I have a tweets says, ‘I wish I could be more like Misha Collins’ huh?”

“I don’t know!”

“You even responded to it you ass!”

“I don’t even have my phone, how could I have responded? Look, Jensen and Alex responded too. One of them must be setting me up!”

“Hey! Don’t drag me into this. I don’t have my phone either.” All of them looked towards Alex.

“What? My phone is in Jared’s trailer, I left it in there accidentally!”

“Who the hell is doing all of this,” Jensen wondered out loud.

“I don’t know, but my phone is in Jared’s trailer too, let’s go back there. Maybe we will find some clues,” Misha stated.

“See look, my phone is right there and here is Misha’s,” Alex said with relief.

“Seriously, who the hell is doing this? Has the crew finally gotten enough of our pranks and are retaliating,” Jensen wonders aloud.

“Hello boys,” you say spinning in your chair, “how was your day?” You smile sweetly at your husband and friends.

“Truthfully sweetheart it’s been the worst. You know how these two are always pulling pranks on me?” You nod, “well someone has been setting up pranks trying to frame me in all of it?”

“Is that so? That sounds like the ultimate April Fools Day prank, pranking people and making it seem like it was someone else.” You were trying your hardest to keep a straight face.

Jared, Alex, and Jensen all looked at each other before turning back to you, “it was you” they exclaimed together at the same time. You busted out laughing as a huge smile rose on your face.

“Busted.”

“What? It was you?” Misha looked shocked at the turn of events.

“I’m sorry love, but sometimes you are too easy of a target. Plus you are all pretty dumb to leave your phones unlocked. I mean really, you are all easy targets.”

“But how did you do it? How did you not get caught? There are so many people on this lot and no one has seen you going in and out,” Alex said giving you a quizzical look.

You shrugged your shoulders, “What can I say, I’m a ninja.” You send a wink to your husband who is staring at his phone.

“Oh come on! Everyone on twitter thinks I did this too,” he wines.

“Nope, not all. There is one person who said something about Alex having all of our phones and using it for payback,” Jensen laughs.

“Well I think we should set this straight,” Jared says pulling up Facebook live shaking the phone at you, “shall we?”

“Yes! We need to let the world know who exactly the mastermind is behind all of this before people start writing fanfiction about all of this. We need to tell the world that my wife is an evil genius!”

“Awww Mish, won’t that upset your Overlord status,” you chuckle at him.

“Worth it,” he says leaning in and giving you a kiss as Jared starts up the live feed.

[dispatchesfrom2020]

2020

Week 30: July 20-26

20: Iran executes Mahmoud Mousavi-Majd, who was convicted in 2018 of spying on the country’s now-assassinated General Qasem Soleimani; he allegedly worked with both Mossad and the CIA. Meanwhile, the New York Times reports that face masks are becoming museum-goers’ favoured souvenir. Won’t lie - I would buy several of these. The paper also reports on the growing schism between Donald Trump and Republican Governors. With case-loads climbing and little federal support from the mask-weary Trump, these state leaders have bypassed Trump and sought out support from elsewhere in the administration - namely his second-in-command, VP Mike Pence.

Masks designed by Virgil Abloh, Mark Grotjahn, Alex Israel, Barbara Kruger, Yoko Ono, Catherine Opie, Pipilotti Rist, Hank Willis Thomas, and The Andy Warhol Foundation for Visual Arts for Los Angeles’ MOCA - MOCA

21: A Ukrainian man takes 16 people hostage aboard a public bus in the city of Lutsk. They’re freed, unharmed, after hours of negotiations that saw the country’s president Volodymyr Zelensky capitulate to demands and issue a Facebook post encouraging his followers to watch the 2005 vegan documentary Earthlings. The government of BC issues COVID-safety sex guidelines that encourage, uh, self-satisfaction, wearing masks during intercourse and the use of gloryholes. So an all-around weird news day.

22: Japan, Australia Hong Kong record their highest daily increase in COVID cases - while Indonesia reports its deadliest day yet with 139 new deaths. The United States orders China to close its Houston-based consulate - an angered China will retaliate in the coming days by closing the United States’ consulate in Chengdu. The Trump administration also issues notice that they will be sending a surge of federal officers into Chicago, Albuquerque, Baltimore and Philadelphia to assist with “crime reduction” through Operation LeGend. These cities mayors, of course, have not been informed of this and learn via the press conference... which is always the best way to learn vital new information about the city you’re supposed to be running. 

In archaeological news - human-made tools dating to 26,500 are discovered in Mexico. Why is this relevant? Because it calls into question the time-honoured tale western thought preaches about how the continent was populated - the Berring Land Bridge migrations are generally theorized to have happened 13,000-20,000 years ago. Many of the Elders I worked with thought the Berring Land bridge was pretty hokey.

23: A 93-year-old former Nazi guard is convicted in Hamburg - it will likely be one of the very last Holocaust trials the country will see. Bruno Dey, then 17, served as a prison guard for Stutthof concentration camp near Gdansk Poland from August 1944 to April 1945. He was convicted of 5,230 counts of accessory to murder - one for each of the people who are believed to have perished in the camp during his 9 months at the camp. He is given a two year suspended sentence.

Cosmopolitan Magazine

23 again: Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio Cortez delivers a speech in congress rebuking a pattern of sexist bullying - especially at the hands of conservative lawmakers. Her comments were precipitated by a dust-up with Floridian Congressman Ted Yoho who called her ‘disgusting’, ‘crazy’ and ‘a fucking bitch’. The comments were witnessed - and thus reported - by journalists at the Capitol prompting the politician to issue a health-hearted apology, saying he was sorry for the misunderstanding, but that he refused to “apologize for my passion or for loving my god, my family, and my country”. He shields himself from scrutiny by saying he is a father of daughters and has a Real Human Wife and thus meant no harm to ladies. AOC suffers no fools. This is a terrible apology, inadequate in every way. It is emblematic of a Republican party that  has denied women a place at the table, attempted to curtail their rights, ignored their issues, and perpetuated abusive language and bullying. She says: “I want to thank [Yoho] for showing the world that you can be a powerful man and accost women. You can have daughters and accost women without remorse. You can be married and accost women. You can take photos and project an image to the world of being a family man and accost women without remorse and with a sense of impunity. It happens every day in this country. It happened here on the steps of our nation’s Capitol. It happens when individuals who hold the highest office in this land admit — admit — to hurting women and using this language against all of us.”

24: Swifties rejoice as Taylor drops surprise quarn-album Folklore - it’s, honestly, gorgeous. An arsonist sets the headquarters of the Arizona Democratic Party on fire. Recent polls suggest the party’s presumptive candidate, former Vice President Joe Biden, with a lead over incumbent Donald Trump. In Portland, meanwhile, protests have continued to escalate. A “Wall of veterans” joins the city’s yellow-shirted “Wall of Moms” and orange-clad “Wall of Dads” to stand with protesters. They stand in support of a Navy Veteran, Chris David, who was violently struck down by federal forces during last week’s protests. They also want to counter the Trump administration’s narrative that the Portland protesters are violent anarchists and radical thugs.

Corpus Christi, Texas is flooded by surging waters during Hurricane Hanna, July 25 - Tamir Kalifa/The New York Times

25: Hurricane Hanna is bearing down on Texas - the first full hurricane of the 2020 season. In very-specific-Canadian news: the large roadside attraction Apple outside of Colbourne Ontario - which, have to say, makes very mediocre pies - has now donned a COVID mask.

26: John Lewis’ casket is driven across the Edmond Pettus Bridge in a horse-drawn carriage. The civil rights icon led a march across the bridge in 1965 to protest for the black vote. His casket will lie in state in Washington during the coming week before his funeral at Martin Luther King Jr’s church, the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. His pastor, Raphael Warnock, delivered the sermon while former Presidents Bill Clinton, George Bush and Barack Obama offered eulogies.