#if i take that away from myself what do i have left? i dont draw anymore. i dont play games anymore. i dont read anymore. i dont go outside

[dreamingpine]

-a misery's commentary on why they love and hate acceptance. there are so many like them. you cant help but have a fondness for them all. wet and pathetic little guys. they remind them of themself.

^^^excerpt from doc of story im making(kinda)

((sorry i saw a picture of [character im love] and felt a fondness so strong and a sadness so deep because. ive been into [game i like] for some time now without changing. i should really let it go now. i dont even obsess over it. i should let it go.))

^^^musing underneath excerpt explaining how those words came to be.

[mythalism]

i feel like all of my pondering and analyzing and criticizing veilguard over the past few months has actually truly given me a better understanding of what dragon age meant to me, what about it specifically was so meaningful, and why, as a result, veilguard felt so wrong. it took a while for me to figure it out. about three full months of relentless essay writing, actually. but i think if you had asked me a few years ago what the core of my love for dragon age was, whatever answer i gave would not have truly gotten to the root of it, because i think i had to experience the disappointment of veilguard to fully understand why i love dragon age. and ive realized that core is that i loved how the previous dragon age entries demand so much of the player, and deliberately prompt introspection and critical, often political, thought.

dragon age games have historically forced the player to be self-reflective and introspective about their worldview and beliefs. solas is obviously a fantastic example, as he was deliberately written to be a reflection of the player in order to prompt them to reflect on how they treat people, how our expectations of people influence their behavior, and how people are pushed to extremes and turned into monsters or saved by love and kindness. how do people become monsters? what drives them to blow up buildings or start rebellions or destroy the world as you know it? are they right or wrong? does it even matter? how did you contribute to this? are you innocent? it puts these insane, politically and morally charged situations in your face and forces you to confront them. slavery, a refugee crisis, poverty, class disparities, racism, foreign occupation, the list goes on, and you are not given the option to look away or be a bystander. you have to ACT. you have to choose, you have to make judgements, you have to take responsibility and explore your role in this world as someone with the capacity to act upon it, to make your will a reality, to fail, to make mistakes. i honestly can't think of any other video game that does this to the same extent? nor any media at all because the act of being IN the world as one of it's people through the act of role-playing is essential to how it provokes this experience in the player. its ballsy. they deliberately try to make you uncomfortable. these games are full of liars, deceivers, betrayers. the games themselves lie to you. its character try to deceive you. did you catch it? or were you fooled? what else might you be fooled by? who else might be lying to you? in the game? in real life? and then you get to play it again knowing the end, and what the game prompts changes with your new knowledge. now it asks, do you forgive them? what makes someone worthy of forgiveness? where do you draw the line? what do you think?

i dont think i realized until recently how impactful this was for me considering how i first got into dragon age at 16 years old. i dont think i had experienced anything up to that point that would put a situation like judging a war criminal who ordered the deaths of children or another war criminal who just left me to die and orchestrated a near-coup or a traumatized terrorist who just blew up a church right in my face, and said MAKE A DECISION. and i didnt know it at the time, but looking back i can see how valuable it was for me at that age to have what was effectively an avenue of exploration and self-expression of all of these moral and political issues that i was grappling with as a young adult. i played inquisition for the first time just months before i voted in my first presidential primary. i already had a political consciousness at this point, but it was nonetheless new and vulnerable and still blossoming into something more concrete. inquisition, then, almost provided a sort of political, moral and personal sandbox for me from ages 16-20 to better help me understand myself in relation to the world. the RPG-ness allowed me to put myself into these situations - like the mage-templar war and its metaphor for mass incarceration and police brutality - while i was also simultaneously grappling with and trying to understand these issues in real life. having dragon age to help me further unpack my own beliefs and conception of these issues was undeniably impactful. it provided a space, through a narrative i enjoyed and cared about, to make choices and judgement calls and better understand who i was, and what felt right to me. it asked, "what do you think?"

veilguard lacks this. completely. and lets be clear that the previous games did not always do a perfect job. many of these depictions are messy and harmful and problematic, but they at least, by extension of their own existence in a narrative that forces you to THINK and JUDGE and DECIDE, give me the space and opportunity to judge them as messy, as problematic, as harmful. i can confidently say that i think da2 is too sympathetic to the templars as an organization because the fact that da2 presents me with so many narrative conflicts regarding the templar organization allows me to not just make in-game decisions and play as a staunch advocate for mage freedom and circle abolition, but to form opinions on the game itself by extension. i can confidently say that i believe the qunari's portrayal is islamophobic because the game has prompted me so many times; what do i think about the qunari? what do i think about the oppression of the elves? what do i think about dorian being a seemingly good person but defending the practice of slavery? who should rule orzammar; the progressive asshole or the conservative traditionalist? do i forgive loghain? do i forgive anders? do i forgive solas? this in-world critical thinking about issues in thedas leads to meta critical thinking. further questions naturally follow -> what message did the writers intend to send through anders? how can i notice the echoes of how this story came into fruition in the shadow of 9/11? what do solas's endings tell me about the writers view of retributive punishment? how is bioware's portrayal of the dalish, as inspired by indigenous north americans, reflective of deep-seated anti-indigenous canadian sentiment? why did the writers stop prompting these hard questions at all in veilguard? did they only like it when it was about characters, not when it led to critical thinking about them and the company as a whole? through these processes of in-world interrogation, i am inevitably invited to analyze the effectiveness of their narrative portrayals and the writing itself. perhaps this is why dragon age is so famous for its discourse lol.

ive said before that im not sure that veilguard could ever have been as impactful for me as the previous games, partly because when you are 16 everything is more impactful because your brain is an eager sponge, unless it did something that really resonated with me as an adult. but what it should have been, at the very least, is something that could have been as impactful and formative on a current 16 year old that sees a gif on tumblr and decides to check out the game, as inquisition was to me 10 years ago. and im sure there are teenagers and younger adults out there playing this game and loving it and loving the characters and the world and thinking its great, good fun. thats great. however it fundamentally cannot have the same profound, developmentally catalytic experience it had on me because it simply does not challenge the player. it does not prompt them to question their own beliefs and the power structures within their lives. it does not prompt them to reflect on the political narratives they may have been fed all their lives. it does not confront them with the sorts of topics that get books on banned lists in florida and force them to bear witness, to think deeper, to feel guilt or horror at the outcome of your own poorly-made decision, to make moral judgements, to make mistakes, and to live with the consequences.

i think i now understand why veilguard was so disappointing to me and ultimately would be a failure in my eyes no matter if i enjoyed the combat or the exploration or whatever other shiny coat of paint sits atop it. veilguard does not ask much of you. it does not prompt any sort of introspection or interrogation of your presently held beliefs. it does not demand anything from the player except to dodge at the right moment. this is a fundamental, core departure from what made me fall in love with dragon age in the first place. if you love dragon age because you want "fantasy escapism" and fun characters to smooch, then i am happy for you. but i would remind you that can find fantasy escapism all over the steam library - farming sims, cozy games, a witch looking for her cat in the alps, etc. what you cannot find are games that are willing and brave enough to challenge and provoke the player into a better, more thorough understanding of themselves in relation to our world and it's many, complex and daunting political and moral issues. to have lost such a thing, when media like this has become so few and far between, and during a time when we need it more than ever, is a devastating loss.

[ladyiristheenchantress]

What im actually doing as a college witch

Hello! I have finally settled into university after a long couple months getting all my affairs in order, and I wanted to do an update post to my university witch series and tell you about tips and tricks that worked for me, and ones that didn't work so much. I am a transfer student, living in campus apartments, and here are some things im doing to keep the magic alive in my life :)

Things that work

I brought a couple decks with me, but I mostly have switched to online formats like using online rune casters or even using a random wheel picker to do things

I have been using a lot of water magic, using crystal elixirs and rue water (no one is allergic!) to protect my apartment in a college friendly way

I dont really have space for wands or candles, so instead I enchanted my room spray for certain goals, created an academic perfume oil for tests, and enchanted my medications

I use a lot more makeup magic, so certain shades of eyeshadow for test days, using under eyeliner

Created a sigil for testing calm, and another one to help draw anxiety out from me and you just throw it away to keep it away from you

Nap magic has become a really big part of my life, my favorite spell has been saying a prayer before my nap to be fully recharged so I can retain information better

Doing little bits of divination here and there

Nature magic! My campus has a lot of spaces to check out plants and walk with history, so that’s been very grounding

“Sleep magic” so before bed I like to honor water by going to a sacred space in my mind and using wave noises to sleep, it’s a way to have a sacred moment every day easily!

HAIR MAGIC!!! Vailing, braiding, and other stuff with my hair has been amazing! I keep a crystal in my bun, cover my hair for certain observations, and braid it when trying to do stuff. Plus it’s been a great way to connect to my culture

Honest to god baneful magic saved my ass when I got into some hot water so I’m keeping that close to me

What hasn’t worked for me

Daily meditation, I just lack the time to actually sit down and do it, so instead I’ve been integrating it into my mornings and lunch time by eating outside to ground myself

Essential oil magic, as much as I love it, a lot of people are sensitive to scents so I try to just enchant my perfume and body spray instead and pair with a sigil of the day

“Study magic” in general can be really tedious especially when you need to lock in, I would recommend pre-enchanting your notebooks for retention, and just focusing on the content

Any physical items like crystals are great at home, but because I am in so many labs and lectures they tend to just be left home, instead just try to integrate what you can

Really intentional “self care” stuff, like affirmations and such can be really hard to remember, so instead take some time before showers or self care time to just breathe and reflect, and that can be a good enough reset!

As I think of things I hope to include more of my experience as a college witch! I wanted to be transparent in what things worked and what things didn’t, so this was a wonderful check in! Feel free to leave your college magic tips or opinions in the comments!

Fair winds!

[spectr3inl0ve]

me and my husband - miguel x wife!spider!reader

authors note: this took like two weeks and for what? 😹 anyways, i was sooo proud of myself for thinking of this lmao

summary: miguel x wife!spider!reader based on 'me and my husband' by mitski

contains ⚠️: ANGST, fluff?, comfort, wife!fem!spider!reader, dead daughter (gabriella), flashbacks italicised

please reblog or like my work if you enjoyed it <3

“I steal a few breaths

From the world for a minute

And then I’ll be nothing forever

And all of my memories

And all of the things I have seen

Will be gone

With my eyes with my body with me”

-

“Miguel!” you call out shakily, your daughter, Gabriella, secure on your back. Your husband instinctively sprints toward the two of you, as you desperately try to escape the collapsing of your universe.

“Take Gabi, I-I gotta help Peter B.,” you lift your now sobbing daughter off your back and into Miguels’ arms. Miguel opens his mouth for a split second, before it zips shut again. He gives you a firm nod, his thick brows furrowed, before cradling your daughter to his chest and leaning in to give your temple a kiss. You kiss the top of Gabi’s head swiftly, before using your webs to swing towards Peter B., who is in the middle of moving - no, shoving - civilians toward safety. It breaks your heart when you hear your daughter’s fearful whimpers as Miguel reassures her, telling her everything will be okay.

Not even five minutes later, you spot Miguel running with Gabriella in his arms, people glitching out of existence left and right. You swing towards them, a few metres behind them, before you are stopped by Peter, his hands firm on your shoulders, telling you it’s too dangerous. Peter’s tall figure and Miguel’s even taller and broader figure obscures most of your view, but you choke back a sob as you catch sight of your daughter disintegrating in her fathers arms. Not really her fathers arms, but you didn’t know that yet.

“Dad! Dad, no!” Gabriella cries, before disappearing, leaving Miguel staring where her body was a second ago, breathing heavily. You couldn’t help but rip off your mask and bury your head in your shaking hands, sobbing hysterically.

-

“But me and my husband

We’re doing better

It’s always been just him and me 

Together”

-

quick a/n: DONT ASK HOW READER SURVIVED, FEEL FREE TO MAKE UP WHATEVER THEORY YOU SEE FIT :) 

“Miguel. We gotta move, you’ll have to bring your er…wife, too.” Peter calls and the world seems to close in. You’re still sobbing into your own hands - mask left forgotten on the ground -, Miguel immobile, still staring blankly into his hands.

“Okay.” Miguel says after a few beats, his voice uneven with grief. Out of the corner of your eye, in front of Miguell, a hexagonal, orange…portal? opens up and he steps signals for Peter to go through. Peter releases your shoulders, though not before giving them a reassuring squeeze, and a nod at Miguel before making his way into the portal. Once it’s just the two of you, Miguel is immediately at your side, drawing you into his chest. He presses a kiss to the top of your head before crouching to wipe your tears away with his thumbs. Your tears have subsided, reduced to sniffles. Miguel smiles sadly at you, murmuring,

“C’mon, cariño. I’m sorry, but we have to go. Now.” you nod at his words, running with him into the portal.

-

“So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We’re sticking together

Me and my husband

We’re sticking together”

-

“Mig, what is this? Where are we? What just happened?!” you cry, shaking his wrists. You’re in a dark, strange room filled with all sorts of holographic technology. It looks so futuristic, like it came straight out of one of those robotic or intergalactic movies you would watch with what was your family, until a few minutes ago. Peter B. was in the room as well, staring off into the distance to give you and your husband some privacy. Miguel sighed,

“This is…this is my office?” he frowns, almost…confused?

“My office in the Spider Society Headquarters.” he finishes, leaving you even more confused than you were a few moments ago.

“Miguel. You’re not making any sense. I know you’re Spider-Man, but didn’t-didn’t you work at-?”

“I haven’t been truly honest with you. Let me explain from the beginning.”

—

“You, you replaced my dead husband?! You were the cause of MY daughter’s death?! The cause of my ‘universe’s collapse? I-I…” you broke off, sobbing again. You felt so much betrayal. So much hurt, anger. And now Miguel - the man you thought was your husband - wants you to join his little gang of Spiders? Hell. No.

“Before you say anything, you can’t really go anywhere else without glitching, or causing its universe to collapse - if you stay there long enough.” Miguel says, looking at his feet.

“He’s not wrong, you know. Glitching is painful as well. Take it from me.” Peter B. cuts in, offering you a tight smile. You painfully realise that Miguel is right, you don’t have anywhere to go. And you suppose it would be nice to still see your husband’s face everyday. You still love him, despite the fact he isn’t really the Miguel you thought you knew.

“Fine. But you’re going to have to tell me more about how you came to be here, Miggy.” you tell Miguel, who goes red at the nickname you use for him. Clearly, he was caught off guard, assuming you would be visibly fuming at him. Peter B. chuckles lowly, murmuring, “Miggy,” under his breath before suppressing a snicker.

–

You had trained hard to get to where you are now, mentally and physically. The death of your only daughter took a heavy toll on you, but a few months later, you can confidently say you were okay. It turns out that while Miguel was in your dimension, his AI assistant, Lyla, had been keeping a hand on the wheel, extending invitations to Spider-People that Miguel had deemed qualified enough to the Spider Society. The missions you went on were usually pretty uneventful, due to the fact that the anomalies or whatever you were chasing were almost always outnumbered, and usually outpowered by the legion of Spider-People hunting them down. Though there were always missions where you and/or a few others came back heavily injured. On your most recent mission, you came back with a sprained ankle, and many cuts and bruises on your body. Miguel was not impressed; patching you up while huffing and puffing about you needing to be more careful. It seems that you got special treatment, understandable, right? You are his wife after all…

You take a large bite into a Spider-Man 2099 themed burger with a grin, internally laughing at the fact that Miguel hadn’t noticed them yet. Peter B. sits opposite you, Pavitr to your left, and Hobie sitting across from him.

“I think it’s kinda funny that Miguel hasn’t caught onto these burgers yet,” you say with a small laugh, setting the burger down. Pav is already cackling at the thought, while Hobie sits there with his signature smirk plastered on his face while Peter chuckles slightly.

“Yeah it’s a miracle, he’s usually so observant. Ooor…he does know, and likes them,” he says, a large grin on his face by the end of his sentence. You silently agree with him, as you listen to the animated conversation that Pavitr had started up with Hobie, Peter making a few contributions occasionally.

Lyla simultaneously displays from the gizmos on your wrists, telling you all,

“Miguel wants you all to see him, for a mission.” finishing with a playful wink.

“Okaay! Another mission, let’s go!” Pavitr says, bubbly as always. You couldn’t help but smile as you get up and follow the rest of the group, while Pavi giggles about something along the lines of “being Spider-Man is so easy and soo fun!”.

While walking through the tech-junk filled sort of hallway in Miguel’s office, you spot Hobie shamelessly pocketing a few loose pieces. You playfully punch him on the shoulder, quietly scolding him for his antics. He smirks and remarks,

“The bossman won’t notice, got bigger things to worry ‘bout, yeah?”. You laugh and shake his head at his words, as you approach the high-up platform, waiting for it to painfully descend. After a few moments you’re able to make out Miguel’s form, facing the four of you, his hands on his waist; his signature stance. Peter giggles out of the corner of his mouth, muttering,

“Always so dramatic.”. You silently agree with him, as Miguel walks towards you guys, chin slightly up, eyes peering down at your faces.

“We have another Doc Ock variant, an anomaly from Earth 1829 in Earth 5820. I will be coming with you lot for this mission.” Miguel finishes, glaring slightly at you by the end of it. You will yourself not to roll your eyes, knowing that all he’s coming along to practically babysit you. You settle for a glare back at him, before his eyes flicker to Hobie, pointing at him and telling him not to do anything stupid. Hobie puts his hands up in mock surrender,

“Got it, ‘m not going anywhere.” he says, unable to stop his smirk from turning into a grin.

“Dios mÍo…I don’t know why I still tolerate you.” Miguel huffs out, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning away from him and going back toward his desk. He types something up on his keyboard, and the illuminated monitor displays an image of an octopus? What on Earth is-

“Looks like Doc Oc found away to become one with the octopus,” Peter snickers; Pavitr giggling with him.

“Correct, Peter. That is what we’ll be after. We must hurry before it wreaks havoc in New York.”Miguel states, while opening a portal to New York City, Earth 5820. You walk through in a single file line, coming out on the top of a building. The air smells smoky, smokier than that of your universe of origin. The ground shook, clearly, the Doc Ock variant had caused a substantial amount of damage already.

“It’s coming from Times Square, let’s go!” Miguel bellowed, swinging toward the cause of the earthquake, everyone following suit. As you get closer, you take in the sight of a ginormous blue-green octopus with metallic pincers on the end of them snapping menacingly at the fleeing crowd of people.

“Woah…” you breathe, eyes widening when you realise that it’s more like a half-octopus, the tentacles being the bottom part of a woman.

“She looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid, don’t you think?” you call out to the group, Peter and Pavitr agreeing with you.

“Enough with the jokes, let’s-” Miguel starts, before the Doc Ock swivels around to face your group, swinging toward her.

“-Okay, new plan. Let’s split up; Peter, Pavitr, Hobie - you three stick together and distract the anomaly!” The men nod and advance forward to do as instructed while you and Miguel swing towards the nearest apartment rooftop to hopefully discuss further gameplan. When Miguel doesn’t say anything, your lenses narrow as you glower at him, not over the fact that you were practically being babysat by your husband; Miguel takes note of this.

“I- okay, before you say anything, I’m mainly here because I don’t trust that punk Hobie.” He assures you, putting emphasis on the last part, “I also want to make sure you-everyone has someone they can fall back on, and protect them if…things get rough.”. Fortunately for Miguel, this was good enough for you, giving him a curt nod.

“Got it. Soo, how are we gonna contain the anomaly?” you question. Miguel was quick to answer,

“While the others distract Doc Ock, we’re going to use my webs to bind it, and entrap it in a Trap Box and get it back to HQ. Got it?”. You nod and use your webs to catapult yourself in Doc Ock’s direction. Miguel’s plan goes smoothly, the anomaly tightly bound by Miguel’s red, digital webs. Peter and Pavitr were aiding civilians trying to get away, trying to bring some order to the chaos. You and Hobie were in the process of disarming Doc Ock of her pincers, using a mixture of webbing, tugging, and other devices - courtesy of Margo.

“Bloody pincers take forever to take off…” Hobie muttered irritably. He called your name saying, “You mind finding somethin' to to 'elp us?”, you nod, jumping off the rubble you were standing on to look for anything big, sharp, or dangerous to aid you. That’s when you spot Miguel, with those talon-like appendages that stick out of the arms of his suit.

“Miguel! We can’t get the damn pincers off quick enough, could ya’ help?!” you call out. Miguel shoots you a look, and you know that through his mask, he’s already annoyed.

“I’m kinda busy, sweetheart! Can’t you shocking see that?!” he shouts at you, before sighing heavily and using one of the hands tugging the glowing web taut to shoot another out toward a stray tentacle, swiftly yanking off the pincer. You aim your web shooters toward another pincer and let them fly, sticking onto the metal.

After a good while of tugging and frustration, you finally get another pincer off, but you and Hobie realise that it’s no use, rushing over to Miguel’s side,

“Wh-What are you guys doing?! Get rid of the pincers!” Miguel yells, agitation coating his words. Hobie explains it’s no use, and that you guys should be helping him contain the anomaly in other ways. Miguel grunts in response, before instructing the two of you to use your webs to bind the anomaly while Miguel sets up a Trap Box. Once you’ve got your webs wound around the entire figure of Doc Ock, Miguel releases his webs and starts setting up the digital containment chamber. Miguel was almost done, but then you heard a scream, the scream of a small child. You whip your head toward the sound and see a small child amongst the few 100 other people who haven’t made their way out yet - stuck under a piece of rubble. Hobie notices and murmurs,

“Nah, don’t, love. Get Pav or Peter to do it. We gotta deal with this…”. You don’t know what happened - one second you were doing what was instructed of you, and the next you had let your webs fall slack as you dash for the crying child. You reach the child and help him get free of the rubble, and scooping him into your arms, as Hobie yells a stream of slurs as the anomaly starts to wriggle free. Hobie calls for you to help him, unable to hold Doc Ock down. You just stand there, cradling the crying child to your chest. Behind you, Miguel stands fuming, even though he and Hobie had managed to contain the anomaly, who is now banging its tentacle at the digital walls.

“Mujer estúpida,” Miguel mumbles, as he calls for everyone to gather round. You reluctantly set the child down, and slowly turn toward Miguel. The realisation of what you had done risked the fate of the multiverse. When you finally turn around, you’re greeted with a seething 6’9 man. You can practically see the steam coming from his ears. (Translation: stupid woman)

Once you’re in his office - your masks off -, Pavitr, Hobie, and Peter dismissed, Miguel is borderline screaming at you for your reckless act to save the child, who,

“-would have been fine even if you didn’t save him!” and that, “no matter how pure your intentions are, your main priority is to SAVE. THE. MULTIVERSE. Regardless of what you have to do.”. After the twenty minutes your boss spent berating you for your actions - and what their consequences may be - you’re left standing meekly in front of him, head hung low, staring at your feet. Miguel exhales a long sigh,

“Look,” he says, his tone much softer than the one he used a few moments earlier, “I think I know why you saved that damn kid. I…I understand that, querida, I do. But that is not always the best thing to do. Not when there is so much more at stake,”. You nod, understanding his words.

“I hate yelling at you, it breaks my heart to see you shatter like this - because of me. I’m sorry,” Miguel tells you, bending down to be closer to eye-level with you. You slowly look up at him, your eyes wide and glassy. Miguel is briefly reminded of a baby deer, with the way your eyes look and the way the start of your eyebrows quirk up in sorrow. He spreads his arm wide enough for you to stumble into them, and when you do, he envelopes you in an embrace, his hand rubbing your back soothingly.

“No, I’m sorry. I should’ve let one of the others take care of that child. I let my emotions get the better of me.” you mumble, returning the hug.

“All in all, we still stopped the anomaly from causing further damage, so don’t worry about it, okay? When we get home, we’ll go out okay? I know a new place that’s gotten a ton of good reviews…” your husband suggests, trying to make you feel even just a little bit better about the situation. You nod into his chest.

-

“And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved”

-

While Miguel had brushed off the fact that you almost risked the fate of the multiverse, a portion of the thousands of other Spiders hadn’t. Initially, when word got around that you slipped up, most people didn’t care, until they learnt what the cause of it was.

“All for a child?” “Seriously?” “How reckless!” were some of the many comments people had to offer. They weren’t horrible, just the occasional stink eyes and scoffs when you were around.

“It’s like no one else has done something wrong! What I did wasn’t even that bad!” you rant to Peter B., exasperated. The man in front of you lets out a series of “uhuh”s, “mhm”s and “exactly!”s whilst preoccupied with the little redheaded toddler trying to climb up a wall. You sigh, before making your exit, heading over to Sector 8.

Once walking through the gates of Sector 8, there’s a wave of silence as the Spider people occupying the area stare intently at you, silently scrutinising you. You timidly walk around groups of congregating Spiders, the hubbub of chatter returning.

“How is she still part of the Society? After what she risked…” you hear from a Peter Parker variant. That comment didn’t phase you but what stung was the response from a gossipy variant of Mary-Jane,

“Perks of being Miguel’s wife, she’s had everything here handed to her on a silver platter. I didn't take Miguel to be one to play favourites.”. Pushing through another group, you struggle to stop the tears from stinging your eyes. You shoot a web to the nearest corner, mounting yourself on the wall, and you tear your mask off. Your hair bounces out and sort of tilts to the side, due to the fact that you’re sitting on the wall.  Sinking into a cross-legged position, you bury your head in your hands, eyes closed, not necessarily crying or anything, just taking a break from the multiverse. You focus on your breathing, breathing in and out, in and out as a way to calm yourself, deflecting all the nasty things that the Spiders, who should theoretically be nice beings, had said about the whole ordeal.

You stay like that for a while, happy in your own little world, before a firm tap on your knee gets you to look up - no, sideways from your position. Miguel. Standing on the ground, looking up at you with concern.

“You alright, mi vida?”

You smile in response, nodding your head yes as you leap from your spot on the wall to Miguel’s side. He faces you and puts his hands on your shoulders, his touch surprisingly gentle.

“One of the guys notified me that you were seeming kind of out of it,” he pauses, trying to find the right words to articulate, “I came to check on you.”. Now it’s your turn to look up at him,

“Yeah I’m fine, Miggy.” you assure him, peering at his reddened eyes through your lashes. Miguel tilts his head to the side and frowns slightly, before sighing and guides your head to his chest with a large hand. He dips his head to kiss the top of yours, glowering at any of the other Spiders who’re staring.

“I love you, okay? You are one of, if not the most amazing person I’ve ever known. You work so hard, and always put in 200% and you’re always looking out for everyone, even if it means risking the Arachno-Humanoid-Polymultiverse.” he expressed, grimacing a bit at the ridiculously long name he had coined for the multiverse. You laugh, pressing your nose to Miguel’s chest. No matter what happens, you think, it’ll always be me and my husband.

taglist: no one (dont be shy lol)

add yourself to a taglist/s -> here

[hockeygirl101]

The Lake House

Part nine: running back 2 you

Warnings- none, mentions of making out but that’s it 🌊

A few hours had past, I was still laying on Quinn's chest, falling in and out of a peaceful sleep. Quinn gently wakes me up, kissing my forehead.

"We should get dressed before everyone gets back. We need to eat something too." He gently strokes my hair. I yawn and nod, he's right I don't need everyone knowing what happened today. I gently move myself away from him, stretching out as he gets out of the bed, grabbing his shorts. He looks over at me smiling, moving closer to my side.

"Gonna need my shirt pretty girl" he mumbles leaning down kissing a quick kiss into my lips. I groan in protest.

"You have some in the closet get one of them." I say rolling away from him onto my stomach. He chuckles, slapping my ass gently making me gasp. I whip my head around to face him, I send him a grin.

"What do you feel like eating?" I hear him say over his shoulder, walking into my closet. I think about it, we didn't have a whole lot of food here you can just whip up. My mom always loved cooking everything from scratch.

"Can we go out? I don't feel like cooking." I say with my head turned away from him. When I look over, Quinn's right beside me, making me jump. "What?" He's looking deep into my soul.

"You're gonna let me take you out?" He's looking deep grumbles brushing the hair out of my face. I give him a puzzled look.

"Yea Q, of course I'm letting you take me out." I gently scratch his beard, he leans into my touch.

"Good, go shower. I'll pick out your clothes." He stands and quickly walks over to my closet, a pep in his step. I giggle to myself, slipping out of the bed, my feet padded across the floor as I walk over to the bathroom. I turn the shower on, taking off Quinn's t-shirt, I slip on my robe. I brush my hair out, putting it up in a clip.

After washing my body and shaving my legs, I turn the water off. I open the glass door, seeing Quinn standing in the doorway. He doesn't say anything, doesn't move. Just stares at me. I wrap the towel around my body walking over to the mirror. I grab my toothbrush, Quinn walks up behind me. I can feel him press his front into my back, not in a sexual way like in the driveway. It's to remind me he's here, for whatever I need. I look at him through the mirror, he's already looking at me. He smiles gently, kissing my neck moving my hair to the side. Hes left one or two marks on my neck, his fingers graze over them.

"Dont cover these yea?" He says, his voice ruff. I feel myself nodding before I can even process his words. He hums softly, slipping his hands down to my waist. I finish brushing my teeth, he walks behind me as I walk over to the bed, seeing a dress placed out for me. A matching set of bar and panties sits beside it. My stomach flips at the thought of Quinn going through that draw.

"You like it? Thought you'd look pretty." His eye beg for my approval, he's completely different than he was two seconds ago in the bathroom. Now he's soft and gentle, making sure I'm happy with every little thing he does.

"Yea Quinny I like it." He nods and smiles, moving to sit on the bed. He sits and look at me patiently. "Are you going to at least pretend you're not watching me change?" I giggle when he shakes his head.

"No." He lays down across the bed, propped up on his elbow. I let the towel slip for my body, slipping on the bar and panties, then slip the dress over top. "You should just take the bar off, you don't need it." Quinn shakes his head when he sees the bar straps. I laugh but comply, I snap the bra off throwing at him. He allows it to hit him in the face, he laughs grabbing it tossing it aside. Once I have the dress situated on my body, I turn and look at Quinn. He's immediately standing up and walking over.

"You look so good, so pretty." He kisses my lips mumbling the last few words onto them. He stales back taking my hand. "Come on, I gotta go get changed quickly at my place then we can go." He leads us out of the room, not before grabbing me a pair of shoes, a pair of doc marten loafers. Once we reach the bottoms of the stairs he makes me sit as he slips them on for me. He taps the tips of my toes together, something I do with my hockey skates after I lace them up. I smile down at him, of course Quinn would remember I do that. He looks up at me grinning, he stands taking my hand leading us out to his car. Opening my door he helps me get in, giving me a once over once I'm sitting, he just smirks and shakes his head closing the door. He walks around to the front of the car, opening his door getting in. He turns and looks at me for a minute, his eyes never leaving my face. He nods his head and turns the car on, pulling out of the driveway, heading to his house. It's a quick drive, his hand rest peacefully on my thigh, never moving. I watch as we drive through the wooded road, surrounded by trees. Soon enough he pulls into his own drive way, throwing the car in park he moves around and opens my door. We walk hand in hand into his house down into the basement. Quinn's room it's a true reflection of him, it's a dark navy blue. His bed sits in the middle with clean white sheets, Canucks memorable covers the walls. His first jersey, his assistant captains, and his newest captains jersey sit one on each wall. He had family pictures on his dresser. Hanging on the wall beside a mirror is a picture of me, in my high school cap and gown. I walk over to it, looking back at Quinn.

"Did you just put this back up?" I ask, not wanting to assume he never took it down. He rolls his eyes at me.

"You know it's been there the whole time." Quinn walks closer to me, gently placing his hands on my waist. I smile to myself, Quinn hadn't let those years of anger come between us like I did.

I go and sit down on his bed while he gets changed, I watch as his back muscles flex when he takes off his shirt. It makes me smile, he’s mine. And I’m his.

[tinyfantasminha]

I think Tumblr and other social medias have aged to become more like a community where everybody assumes they are friends with everyone (unless they disagree with them). Like as social media gets introduced to younger and younger kids every year, the sense and need of privacy is no longer there.

Now for people, someone showing their art might be akin to a friend showing their drawing to you, it becomes expected so the less detailed compliments they give.

The solution could be to make your page more professional so people dont get the idea they are your friends, since you do post things that would be considered talk between friends (like simping for jack). But i get the feeling you'd hate that since it would essentially turn your page into more of a statistics rather than a warm environment.

Im not good at wording myself so im sorry if this gives off an offending message, im trying to be objective but im not sure how it comes across.

DW, I get what you're trying to say 😔 It's annoying that more and more people in fandom nowadays seem to know little to none of fandom etiquette... and it's not just the teens, it's a worryingly amount of adults too

Creators want validation, nice comments and asks but they also want respect... one parasocial interaction which is especially common with artists and writers are the ''can you teach me how to draw/write/how to create ocs'' or by seeking validation for their own personal stuff (sending their art or pictures unsolicited so YOU specifically can feedback it, or asking you to opinion on their ocs) like..... I can see these actions may come from a genuine place, but it should be common sense that these are weird ways to start a conversation with a creator you supposedly admire. It feels intrusive and demanding.

And sometimes the intention is not even bad, it's just phrased in a demanding way that makes creators feel pressured. Rephrasing ''can you teach me how to draw/write'' with ''hello! I love your art/writing! if you don't mind me asking, could you share your creative process or maybe tips?'' makes a WHOLE difference! it's more polite and acknowledges the creator’s boundaries, making the request feel more like a compliment than a demand.

Ugh, the thing is... making the blog more ''professional'' takes away the whole point of it. Tumblr is one of the few spaces left where you can scream into the void about your interests, gush over things you love, and just exist as a person, not a content machine. Unlike algorithm-driven platforms like tiktok or twitter, in here it lets you control your space; your blog is yours to curate, to fill with weirdness, passion, and whimsy. Here, creators feel like real people, not just faceless usernames churning out "content" for engagement. I do not feel comfortable being as much personal on twitter for example, where any nosy person can QRT you being unnecessarily mean because the platform's culture prioritizes performative snark and clout over genuine creativity or connection. Tumblr was always a place for the weirdos, the cringe and the freaks, no one is here to make a brand out of themselves, it's about being authentic and having fun.

Creators should absolutely be allowed to be loose, weird, and fun here while still being respected 😔

[acanth3]

The Sound Of The Stars English Translation

EPISODE 13/14

Mika: ……

…..Eh?

Shu: If you say that you don’t want to go on this space trip, let’s just cancel it!

No matter what COSPRO or the world says, just ignore them. I will take all responsibility so–

Mika: W-wait a minute, Oshi-san! Let me think about it!

I’m not that smart, so many things suddenly comin’ up my head can’t keep up

Shu: Is, is that so? It’s best to do what you like.

Mika: Well, first of all. Why is Oshi-san here?

Shu: I came back here to apologize to you. 

Mika: Why? I dont want Oshi-san to apologize to me, you didn’t to anythin’ wrong?

Shu: No, I proceeded with this space trip plan without consulting you, then you became angry with me, right?

Mika: It’s too late for that now!? It’s been awhile since I got angry about that

I was convinced to go to space, my dream is goin’ to come true, I’m grateful for this. 

Shu: Then why are you ignoring my calls?! You’ve never ignored my calls for this long, have you!? 

Mika: Calls from Oshi-san…..? 

Huh, really? I got hundreds of calls from Oshi-san?!

Shu: Have you not noticed up until now?

Mika: I’m very sorry Oshi-san, recently i was workin’ so hard with studyin’ and trainin’, I haven't been bothered to check.

I’ve been doin’ my trainin’ and studies from mornin’ till night, it’s even in my dreams or I’m readin’ my english book

Shu: I guess that’s all that happened. It shouldn’t be this fussed over. 

I’ve never been ignored by Kagehira before, so I thought I finally touched your scales. 

Mika: I also really wanted to go to space with Oshi-san so I tried my best.

….So, I should apologize.

Shu: Hm? What do you mean? 

Mika: In order to go to space, you hafta pass an exam

I’m too stupid to pass it

Shu: …..

Mika: There’s only 3 days left till the exam, I haven’t even passed a test.

No matter how hard I try I can’t get a good score. I’m so pathetic and a bad person

Jun-kun and Vice President who tried to help me with Oshi-san. I can’t forgive myself for not passin’ their expectations

Im ashamed of myself…..

Shu: …..So that’s why you're here in the back of an alley and squating? 

Fufu, When I threw around Kagehira, you were a doll

…..It’s good to see you so at ease, Kagehira. This feeling of helplessness, every artist experiences it 

Actually, I’m forced to feel helplessness right now.

Mika: Eh….really?

Shu: Weren’t you listening to Ibara? I still haven’t produced a song for this project yet. 

I guess, I ‘An Itsuki’ am not strong enough to take on the theme of a ‘universe’ 

Mika: That’s not true, if Oshi-san isn’t strong enough, then who can do it?

Shu: Of course, there exists better artists than me. Do other amazing works with the theme of ‘universe’ also exist? 

As long as they exist, there is doubt in my skill

Aa, this is frustrating. It’s disgraceful that I can’t express the amazing work of the ‘universe’ 

—But at the same time, I’m happy. 

Mika: Eh..?

Shu: It’s proof there’s further more growth for an artist like me

If you’re an artist too, Kagehira, you should be happy with this knowledge

There’s such beauty in this world that I can’t draw, and I’m looking forward to draw it by my own hands one day! 

I’m aiming to have that day come earlier, so I ran away to face this together. 

What about you Kagehira? Are you going to abandon your room for growth and run away like this?

Mika: ….. I don’t want to. Because I’m here with Oshi-san. 

Shu: In that case, you need to come to terms with your lack of strengths. It’s the destiny of an artist. 

You know people that were once kings have walked down this same path? 

If you stepped closer than anyone else you would have seen the ugly truth

Mika: …..I see

Oshi-san, you told me not to abandon pitiful me. 

Thank’s to you, I feel better now. After all, Oshi-san is my Oshi-san♪

Shu: Fufu, I’ve experienced most of these blows as an artist 

…..well, in your case, it’s just a single setback. 

As a matter of fact, what do you think of space travel? 

If you actually don’t want to go, I’ll go bow down to COSPRO and the rest of the world.

Mika: There’s no need for that, I want to go to space. 

I’m goin’ to make mah dream come true, it’s proof that ‘dreams can come true and reach for the stars’ 

Because my goal as an idol is to inspire the children in mah hometown. 

That’s why this dream shouldnt just be a stick in the mud 

I will absolutely sing to everyone on Earth, “I have become a star!”

Shu: Fufu, alright. By the way, your eyes mark your words as an idol.

‘Dreams can come true and reach for the stars’...huh, I like that. 

Mika: Huh? What’s up Oshi-san? Yer’ mumblin’ to yerself..

Shu: Kagehira, thanks to you I have thought of the final image production! 

Aa, after all, listening to you was the fastest way. Listening to your determination, all my problems have been resolved. 

Mika: Uh….what do you mean? 

Shu: I took on the theme of the ‘universe’ as a grand idea 

What is the universe? What are the stars? I was obsessed in how to express it 

I forgot the most important thing in art. 

The concept of the universe can’t be done by people who wish to know what’s beyond Earth

I foolishly grabbed onto the stars sparkling in the night, if it wasn’t for your dream, I wouldn’t have even known of this. 

I’m grateful for you Kagehira, nearing the ends of my contemplations, listening to your determination the stars had begun to sparkle once again. 

Mika: Hm~? I don’t know what the type of person Oshi-san is talkin’ about.

Shu: Now, let’s go complete what we both need to do!

I will create an ark that will send you to the ends of the universe, and I need you to control it with your additional knowledge. 

I hope you can achieve it, Kagehira

[itsaspectrumcomic]

You dont have to answer this if you dont want to or feel like you cant help but i need some advice on what do do after a meltdown, because i've been crying for like ten minutes over my parents, who said they'd be out the whole week, came home RIGHT NOW, and are not leaving, and i just locked myself in the bathroom and started wailing like an actual baby (i feel kinda stupid lol) now my eyes are doing the annoying thing after you cry when they're strained and my head feels like its being torn apart how do i make it stop or alternatively alleviate it? If you dont knkw thats perfectly okay by the way

I'm sorry that happened! It sounds very stressful :(

Here are some things that help me when I have a meltdown

During the meltdown:

Getting away from the situation that caused the meltdown in the first place

Going somewhere dark and quiet where I can feel safe (ideally without people)

Burrowing under my weighted blanket (if I'm at home)

Hug something soft

Being left alone

After the meltdown:

Surrounding myself with and doing things that are calming and make me happy, and ideally distract me from whatever happened - for me that's watching silly YouTube videos (I really like gaming videos!), playing a video game, or drawing if I have the energy

Eating a snack I like and having a warm drink

Taking a nap if I'm all out of energy

It can help to think of it as taking a sick day - meltdowns are a lot and you need to rest for your body and mind to recover!

(Also if your head hurts it's ok to take a painkiller, a headache from a meltdown is just as valid as a headache from being unwell.)

Everyone copes differently of course - if anyone has another method feel free to put it in the comments or tags! We can all learn from each other :)

[satuwn]

i have decided to randomly infodump about my lab rats as a way to motivate myself to: 1) revamp existing characters old refs and 2) DRAW THE GD REFERENCES OF THE REST OF THE BITCHES (this will probably take me ages still. alas), more rambly details abt the story and characters under the cut

the main characters: Dr. Kitty Whisker and her twin sibling Happy(tbd), Dr. Brainworms, Gummi (comic relief character mostly), Prof. Fuzzybottom(tbd) and Prof. Snakebite (previously known as prof. pinky, i need to redesign him more heavily)

the side characters (these guys may have side stories of their own but theyre mostly just an excuse for me to design more weird lab rats): Prof. Smartypants - ref to be finished, ferret with a brain of a human, she is my 'authors blatant self insert' into my own story lol; Fishsticks (drawn, a dissected mouse/frog stitched together), (the rest of these dont have names yet) a rat/chick hybrid with funy lil chicken legs, a rat/gator/shark hybrid she is punk and goth and she Bites, a mouse/cat dna mix with a surprisingly tragic backstory that im still working out, more tba

each lab rat represents usually an amalgamation of different experiments as the lab they are in is 'cheap' with their test subjects and likes to Repurpose old, usually failed experiments and do other stuff to them! honestly even if theyre a success they still end up getting experimented on more lol but they are still unimportant enough and the lab big enough where they can hide themselves away and have their own space w/o being actively searched for. ofc the world of the setting is based on our own reality but way more Hyperreal, i dont aim to represent logical feats of science bc a lot of these guys would defs be revolutionary (and impossible) irl lol. i will briefly run down what each main character is a result of but ideally id like to go into more detail when i actually. make the story more visual in whatever format i decide to do (probably experimental and non linear snippets, i dont think im smart enough for a full comic)

Dr. Kitty and Happy are twins! they were the result of an experiment where the scientists were testing if one species of rodent could gestate a different species of rodent just thru a little genetic modification. and that was Happy! he is actually a bunny born from a rat mother and with all rat siblings (one of them being Kitty) hes a bit smaller in stature than a usual bunny being more rat sized but other than that just a bnuuy! further experiments on them was how well skin grafting would work between different yet similar species. it worked for Kitty (hence the bunny ear) but not so much for Happy... both of them had separate experiments done on them also, altho Kitty was more rebellious of the two earning her the shock collar. Happy also had experiments on his fur to make it color changing like a chameleon, as well as some experiments to his eye (tbd)

Dr. Brainworms is actually a sapient amoeba/bacteria type thing, attached to a host body(that happens to be a hairless rat), this host body is her most compatible one as she Can overtake and control other bodies but they start to decay pretty quickly. her history is something she herself is trying to find out as her host body is its own mystery.. is she just an amoeba that gainted sentience? is her mind really her own? was this body maybe always hers? who knows!

Gummi is a jelly belly gummy rat candy brought to life, pretty self explanatory... but shes got a few mysteries of her own! like, why was she even created, for what purpose, i mean who could even do such advanced science anyway to bring an inorganic candy to life, and Why does she keep talking abt a scientist with green gloves when there arent any scientists like that around?

Prof. Fuzzybottom is a rabbit! she used to be just used for breeding new test subjects which left her pretty traumatized not being able to keep any of her children, she became infertile from the stress so she was repurposed for other experiments, like trying to turn her fur to naturally be an unnatural color, and to be more synthetic like faux fur (aka a living plush) she was also blind so they replaced her eyes with a plushy sleeping mask that actually has LEDs inside that are hooked up to her brain to see if they could restore vision thru cybernetics. in her original iteration she was even supposed to be half rat half bunny buut i felt it too much, might still reuse the idea tho! tbh i just wanted a bunny with cute rat hands :3

Prof. Snakebite is not even a lab rat originally, he was simply a pinky rat used to feed the lab snakes, but due to freak circumstances he was actually still alive and after being bitten by a venomous snake, the stress hormones in his little body make him develop rapidly especially in brain power. as he was still very tiny and fragile, he wasnt the best subject to experiment on, but he was fitted with a brain chip originally just to read and analyze his brain development as he was much more advanced in mind than in body (of an almost newborn). after escaping he would upgrade his brain chip to help him utilize more brain power but also lessen the burden on his tiny body that could not handle the strain. he and prof. fuzzybottom are always hanging around each other, fuzzy very often babying him or just helping him out by carrying him and helping him reach places or handle objects, while he begrudgingly tolerates her as she is useful to his needs. also cant admit he appreciates her actually awww

the rest of the side characters are pretty self explanatory, theyre mostly just various animal hybrids and crossbreeds and splices! smh only the main characters get cool powers and shit -_- aside from Prof. Smartypants, after having a ferrets body fitted with a human mind(who doesnt remember the human part almost at all. its just the advanced intellect from it) tries to figure out the weird body dysmorphia with Science Potions aka chemisty. but thats mostly just to give another one of my sonas shapeshifting ablities (go figure) so yah if u read this so far Waow o_o Thank U and also Pls Send me asks abt this. if u want <3 can be questions or just ur thoughts ig!! id love feedback pleas please plea

[kongkhoi]

hiel im so sorry but i pattered over immediately could i pretty pretty pls know more abt your cowboy yaoi au with that blonde beanpole? :3

omgomgomg im absolutely in love with. this au. so so so so much. ok

ok so cowboy4cowboy. except technically neither of us are cowboys. follow.

names are still being workshopped. but. colby "kei" houston. and adriel "hiel" walker.

KEI

- from a privileged/relatively wealthier family. ran away from it but more on that later - anyway he's educated because of it - so rather than an actual cow wrangler, he's a cowboy secretary of sorts. manages entries, organizes draws, calculates payouts - he keeps with the getup anyway so people don't bother him. uses the rep to his advantage - his horse mildly dislikes him - he ran away from home because his brother left him to travel and to see the sights of young america. he thought kei was smarter and more capable of taking care of the family business, more capable than he ever could be - kei doesn't know this and heads out, out of hurt, out of betrayal, out of rebellion - news flash ! - he doesn't know how to handle himself in the real world. sure, he knows how to write letters and such, but he can't start a fire without a match, doesn't know how to cook for a damn, and his income gets spent on food for his horse and himself - he'd been handling barely alright for a while until .

HIEL

- outlaw - depending on who you'll ask they'll either say there's a bounty on his head because he's tried and failed to rob a bank, or that he's a terrible, terrible cheat at cards and everyone hates him for it. enough to shoot at him, apparently - been on the road. jack of all trades, been living on his own all his life, lots of moneymaking skills picked up along the way - trans ! - immigrant ! - (important to story!)

i try to settle down in a town but eventually there's a. HEY. HEY YOU. and shit. i gotta run again. fucking book it. steal some poor fella's horse getting the fuck out of there. except i feel really. really. really bad about it. so i turn right back around and haul the horse's owner (and when i do, i panic because he's hot) up on the horse behind me before speeding off to god knows where

"we have to go!! quick, they're right on our tail!!" "WE? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU ARE!"

lkfjdsla and so i basically kidnap this guy on accident. the nickname 'kei' comes from when he was so pissed at me for doing so that all he said to me was. "'kay. mm. 'kay." and it stuck because that's how he talks to all our employers that we do odd jobs for on the road

he's pretty much forced to endure me my entire journey west because by the time we lose whoever's tailing us, his face is already associated with mine, and mine is on wanted posters everywhere. whoops.

lots of travels and stuff that i'm not. ready to delve into. which is all in halo's brain. lots of story and plot and emotional freak nasty that i would not have the brains to think of myself. just know. that. its peak

anyway, eventually we do find a town that doesnt recognize us. some old farmer wants to make his own journey to the coast so he can see the ocean before he dies. so he sells his ranch to me and its all but a few of what i've got scraped up but its mine and im finally not on the run anymore

and kei almost wishes that i still need his horse and need to bring him with me on my travels. but its over now.

i give him a small bag of coins for everything i put him through.

"i'm real sorry, kei. i'd give you more but i blew everything i got on this farm-"

and there he sees his in. his voice gets stiff and he says, "then i'll wait. here. until you've paid me back everything i'm owed."

and it takes like four full bags of straight gold for me to realize that he's here to stay LMAOAOOOAOAOOA. and his horse fucking LOVES me btw

she lets me on with such ease. kei always says, "oh, she doesn't like going over-" and then stunned silence when she lets me maneuver us through whatever needed LMAOAOOAO. his picky, snobby, bitey horse (like father like daughter) is snuggling at me. and kei is so pissed !!

"just needs a little sugar, loosen right up." ".." "catch more flies with honey, y'know?" "what about the flies you catch with glue. i'm held hostage." "ah. well."

[wintersnwnderlnd]

People are not treasure

My head snapped up, shouting from outside the park flooded the room like seawater. I got up carefully, carrying the chains connecting me to the bed post as I waddled over to the window. Smoke exploded from the park grounds, drawing cries from the Fishmen.

A breath caught in my chest as the gates burst open. People entered the park, humans, and Nami among them. A sob escaped as the males started attacking the Fishmen, Nami leading one of them inside.

Collapsing onto the bed, I held back a cry. More pirates, yet again more treasure hungry men, who will take me just like Arlong. I flinched as a tear hit my cheek, saltwater burning my skin.

Minutes passed by like hours, panic rising in my bones with each passing shout. Clutching the bed post I screamed as the building started to shake. The door rattled before my eyes, fear flooding my body as the door handle turned.

"Suki, it's me, Nami. Look at me, your going to be okay." Nami whispered, a hand grazing the wound on my cheek causing me to flinch. "What did Arlong do to you?".

I shook my head, refusing to move from my spot even as she began picking the lock on my shackles. I cried when they came undone, curling into a ball to get away from her.

"Suki, we have to go. The building is coming down around us." Nami pleaded.

"No! No! This is a trick. He'll catch me. I can't leave! Please just go!" I cried, letting out a scream as the room shook once more.

"Fine, have your way." I looked at her in confusion before screaming as she picked me up throwing me over her shoulder.

"NO! NO! No, Nami please! Please just leave me!" I cried, gripping her shirt in fear of falling.

She ignored my plea, rushing through the building as it continued to shake around us. Cracks formed on the ceilings and walls as she ran. The tears streaming down my face eventually coming to a stop, as I gave up, going limp in her arms.

We made it outside, as the building began to collapse. She came to a stop, setting me down on a rock before rushing towards the men, drawing two into a hug. The third looked sad at her dismissal before noticing me.

I flinched, drawing back into myself as he stepped closer. A crash drew our attention as the park came crashing down. A sob escaping me as I watching the building turn to dust before my eyes.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the building, praying that Arlong was inside, before someone touched me. A scream left my lips as I threw myself back, scrambling away from the touch.

"No, please." I muttered, clutching Nami's arm as she knelt beside me.

"Shush, Suki. They won't hurt you." She soothed, running a hand through my hair in attempts to calm me, only for it to get caught on a matt causing me to cry out.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy. I'm a pirate, this is my crew." The man I didn't notice before, the one that touched me said.

"Are you going to take me too? Like the rest of his jewels and maps?" I demanded, looking down at the grand line map in his hand. "Like the rest of his treasures?".

A dark look grew on all of their faces, but none more dark than the one on Luffy's. "People, are not treasure." He exclaimed rather loudly, a shutter running through me causing me to wince. "I want to offer you a spot on my crew. Nami says your a good singer.".

I shook my head, "No, no. I-I don't sing anymore.".

He looked put out, "Aw come on, every pirate crew needs a singer!".

"I'm sorry. I-"

"What's your dream? To be free?" He questioned, switching topics so quickly it felt like whiplash just talking to him.

"Dream? I- no one's ever asked me that before. I dont know."

He smiled brightly , the other three behind him smiled as well, Nami's grip on my arm tighted comfortingly as she nodded, "Well, we'll help you find your new dream. Right guys?".

I watched in awe as they, one by one, nodded murmuring words of agreement. I stared up at him, his eyes full of excitement and hope. Glancing at Nami, she nodded helping me to stand slowly.

"Okay, okay."

[boxheadpaint]

no amount of medication will make me not start clawing my own head from the persistent vacuum-like hum outside. can make a diary post though.

took monitor off today, the skin under one patch was totally fine but the skin under the other seems to have had a less good time. that left patch was the itchier of the two, but i wonder what the exact difference was. can take a normal shower again though so im just not gonna worry about it. need to build up the resilience again to block out the heart palpitations too. i want nothibg more than to lay down and curl in until my chest doesnt feel so tight against the beating.

small things have gotten under my skin lately, mostly having to do with my surface computer. its always been a fickle beast to use, but lately its just seemed more like a chore. the back panel that i could use to prop it up has broken off, and my brain still thinks something is wrong with the pen cursor position no matter how many times i calibrate it. this mostly affects how i draw in ms paint, which is immensely frustrating and confusing.

i wish i wasnt so tired. theres things i want to do, genuinely i want to clean the living room or store things away or talk to my friends but i am just so so so exhausted physically and it doesnt go away no matter what i do or how much sleep i get. i keep having upsetting thoughts and struggling against thinking about them and how i affect others. i have Barely drawn the past... idk, few? two weeks? i drew something yesterday for the absol stream and i scribbled in my sketchbook but they were barely anything and still took great effort to just Not Fuck It Up.

i dont want to avoid it but i dont want to talk about it either. all i want is to feel at Least alright again. but instead i feel like a damn boulder, or a bunch of brittle sticks. id like to think that actually yes an extended depressive episode can be brought on by allergies and if i took a benadryl id suddenly feel like myself again. And probably also fall asleep but thats allergy meds for you.

4/9/2024, Well Watever

[possiblyi4657]

I babysat two rather chaotic children yesterday.

They threw pillows at me, yelled loud enough that i was worried someone next door would knock on the door and complain about the noise, and the brother (kid #1) told me- with a straight face- that his sister was evil.

This aforementioned evil (kid #2) carried around this really adorable sleeping eevee plushie, and after finding out that eevee is her favourite Pokemon, i offered to draw an eevee as a peace treaty. She constantly shook the chair i was sitting in, making it somewhat hard to concentrate on my craft, BUT JOKES ON HER CAUSE I LIVE WITH 4 YOUNGER SIBLINGS, SO I KNOW HOW TO KEEP A SOMEWHAT STEADY HAND WHEN I NEED TO. HA.

After some trial and error, I drew this:

Considering i dont draw Pokemon that often, i think i did a good job!

…And then the creature threatened to scribble all over my hard work. (I think she was joking. Probably.)

I was still planning on giving the drawing to her, so i decided that i may as well tear the page out and ask if the two wanted anything else drawn. Kid #1 asked for a pikachu, and uh. I tried.

If youre wondering why hes holding a toothbrush and toothpaste, kid #2 asked for him to hold a toothbrush and i thought i may as well add some toothpaste while im at it.

This is when all hell broke loose.

They said the eevee looked buff, so i drew a buff eevee

They saw the other cat doodles i was drawing in my sketchbook, so i added it to the page. Kid #1 took my mechanical pencil (with my permission), and wrote notes on the page. Kid #2 wrote down what she claims to be “dad’s phone number” (false)

Kid #2 then turned her gase towards one of my unfinished eevee drawings, asking me to “make it lighter” (ink it in).

Boy am i glad i took a picture of this before kid #1 got ahold of it, as what you shall see below is what happened to the drawing an hour later, as i was working on another drawing.

Yeah.

This leads me into the final Main drawing i made in the evening. The two children asked me to draw….. a Charzard.

This is where i have to confess. I have never, in my life, drawn a charzard. Hell- I haven’t drawn a good looking dragon before!

(I did once draw a REALLY bad looking dragon when my mom asked me to draw Haku (from spirited away) back when i was first started digital art at the age of 13 or so, but i cringe even thinking about those times.)

But ive dug too deep to back out now. Not only is my pride as an artist at stake, but these children are finally looking at me with expectation. So, i looked up a Charzard reference on my phone, set it off to the side, and started drawing.

For a brief moment, the world stood still. My singing to myself probably helped, but Kid #2 FINALLY stopped shaking my chair. Those two little spawns of condensed chaos, who until now have threatened to draw all over my drawings, didnt say anything bad about this one. Hell- both of the children HELPED me erase the pencil outline!!!

I have no clue how this managed to impress them but here’s the finished drawing

Apparently, this drawing was good enough for them that they want to colour it in.

This is probably the highest compliment ive ever received about a piece of art ive created.

And to think that 4 hours ago kid #2 was threatening to scribble all over my eevee- and kid #1 did so with the sleeping eevee! (Im not upset at that, i know that by giving the paper to the children they can do whatever they want with it, not to mention i take pictures of my drawings for a reason.)

A few minutes later, the parents of the children came home, I got paid for my time, and then i left, concluding the tale of how i somehow impressed two children with my art skills despite rarely drawing Pokemon.

This somehow made me feel a thousand times more confident about my art skills, as its one thing for someone my age or older to say “hey, your art is good!” But its a whole other thing to hear that your art is good enough to be coloured in by two around elementary school level kids who previously have been throwing pillows, shaking your chair and joking about how theyre going to scribble over your art.

[actually-a-fish]

The Mitchells vs. The Machines

Hello! I like watching movies. Ideas get stuck in my head while watching them and i need them out of my brain. This is my 4/9/24 viewing of The Mitchells vs. The Machines. I like cartoons :)

This will have spoilers

Without further ado... my thoughts chronologicall

PROLONGED EYE CONTACT DODODODOD

The main VA is Abbie Jacobson (aka Princess Tiabeanie Mariabeanie de la Rochambeau Grunkwitz)

this family reminds me so much of mine minus depression and a commitment to a cult :)

girl its probably a good thing you weren't at the tech reveal. be nice to the siris, alexas and echos in your life...

i kinda wanna watch that robot movie with Will Smith and hot robots now

THEY ALL HAVE STIMS GUYS

running away from your crush and saying you hate them is so real

"what are these? robutts?"

HES TAKING NOTES

I like that the new genre of villian is a tech bro and AI

I dont like this bit about wifi, we are dependent on it yeah but people can adapt pretty well. Well some I guess.

why do dads always suggest eating the family pet?

i cannot express how autistic this family is. its constant, not demeaning or the butt of a joke. just a family being a family. I have flappy hands about it.

aww dads do love to teach their kids to drive stick shift

i do like Eric and Barbara

the robots are shooting the humans into space, that's their plan and honestly i've been saying we should shoot garbage into space for a while now so im glad somone is finally doing it

there are cute edits done by katie through the whole movie and they deserve a shout out

I knew touch screen fridges were a bad idea

NOT FURBYS WTF WHY THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE

"your whole lives i wanted to save you from disater and this is the moment ive been waiting for" - Rick (and also my father)

KATIE DRAWS ON HER HANDS TOO OMG THE DETAILS. THERE IS SO MUCH STIMMING AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY EVERY TIME

This is good family bonding, but no tears yet.

unfortunately i think the family bonding was to good. The dad left a sentimental object in katies bags and now im convinced hes gonna sacrifice himself to save the rest of the family.

now im crying. :) if you watched i bet you could guess which part.

oof crying again! a Twofer!

This movie may be healing my childhood trauma. I miss my parents. They were just doing their best

THE CALL BACKS. THE CULMANATION! ITS MAKING ME EMOTIONAL IM SORRY

thank you game grumps for introducing me to the song "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (not was)

An accurate compilation of watching my coworkers and professors use computers

uh oh they got little brother, Linda is gonna rip out someone's heart

OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA GET MAD

ERIC AND BARBARA SUPREMECY

damn i need to see my family so i can remember why i hate them bc this is to sweet for me

TEAM E AND B! TEAM E AND B!

How long of a break between the entire world being abducted by robots and everyone going back to work was? Do you think this was like their pandemic

"My name is Monchi, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair"

THEYRE BASED ON A REAL FAMILY (and the whole family has "im easily overstimulated" hair cuts, its so relatable)

It's cheesy. full of stuff you know is meant for kids and that corporate made them do. but I really liked it. I know the whole bit is that the family is weird. I don't really like that they used the word weird instead of autistic but i can kinda understand why they had to do it. i found myself relating the characters constantly. The way they run away when things get overwhelming, communicate through their interests, stim when they have big feelings (they all have their own, and most of them have a couple they do) and the way the situation their in affects them. It is not perfect representation but it did a good enough job for me.

If you read all the way through thank you! If you have any formatting tips please lmk!

Also I feel the silly need to add, this is all my opinion, and my opinion is not fact! It's okay if we don't agree and if you're nice, I would love to hear about it :)

[fishtheflowerchomper]

everything is going wonderful so far in my life

i just had an amazing day and i actually took care of myself

but i cant stop fearing that my father will just snap and blow my brains out with a gun at any second

i dont feel safe in my house and it might just be because im going fucking crazy and making up these weird worlds

the one im thinking of currently goes like this

"here [DEAD NAME], ill let you try some alcohol." *my dad, possibly.*

"uhh.. sure?" *i mutter, unsure of what the fuck im about to drink or if i should even drink it.*

"oh, i just go a text from Lucky (best friend) and i need to answer her immediately, give me a second." *i lie, texting her the following.*

**text begin.**

nene: "lucky, i was just given alcohol and im afraid for my life. please call the police. tell them that my parents might kill me or say that im underage drinking."

lucky: "i will. are you okay?"

nene: "for now. i love and lucian <3"

lucky: "i love you too."

**end text.**

"ill try it now." *i announce, taking a sip of the grape mike's alcohol my parents like. i would assume i dont like it.*

"do you like it [DEAD NAME]?" *my dad would ask.*

"i like the grape." *i lie again. trying to keep my father happy.*

*i feel the need to go for a walk and get out of the houee.*

"im going on a walk, mama and papa." *i mutter, putting socks on and packing my cross body bag with my charger, games, amd stuff to draw with.*

"okay, be safe." *my mom would say.*

"i will." *i put my sweatshirt on and sneakers, filling up my pink metal water bottle (my child).*

*i go downstairs. while on the stairs, i hear my siblings scream and gunshots. i feel an intense dread over come me. i get to the door. my dad stomps down the stairs.*

*****BANG*****

*a bullet enters through my left cheek and exists through the back of my neck, just barely missing my spine thing(i forgot what its called.)*

*i slam into the door from the shock of the bullet. i swing the door open(i opens inside the house). i run out of my house, having preiopened the gate from the bad gut feeling earlier in the day. i start running down the road, towards lucky's mom's house. i know i will be safe their. her mother would do anything to save me. to keep me safe. i know i will survive if i can make it to her house. it is far away, but i have to make it. for myself. for everyone i have ever loved. for my sister.*

*i end up surviving and living with my favorite streamers/youtubers <3*

why do i think of shit like this?

can't i be normal?

why must i have such scary thoughts?

(if you start thinking thoughts like these, let me know. i can give you good songs to listen to while having these thoughts. a lot of the crane wives songs are amazing for these thoughts. <3)

Stay safe out there <3

[sonysatyrn]

chattering chatterbox

> i cant seem to get myself to work on drawing things in regards to my designs

> theres so much i want to do but i dont know if im biting off more than i can chew

> i want- NEED to bring my interpretations into fruition. i just have to.

> the way i have envisioned sonic and the cast is really the only thing i can latch onto

> tails especially… he’s the start of this all

> the idea of him being a laboratory experiment just makes so much more sense to me

> enhanced intelligence… surgically given limb..

> ugh

> i really need to figure out how to distinguish his extra tail

> maybe i’ll make it smaller and a bit scrawnier

> he can only hover really… a glide

> but flying takes more energy and is shortlived

> his more animalistic nature… he lives in the forest and just enjoys eating berries he finds

> blueberries and strawberries.. whatever! he’ll take it!

> he moved out into the forest to get away from the others because of how he began to act up

> you know

> snarling, biting, scratching, hackle raising

> all that good stuff

> and its all by accident too

> he feels bad knowing its him that accidentally hurts the others

> so he “left” in order to attempt and hone his… instincts

> and become independent

> -- 180° but

> i once read someone say smth abt sonic being ‘as heroic as he is selfish’ and honestly yeah

> thatd be nice

> what a dick

> i need this because my sonic isn’t genuinely the best either

> he isnt necessarily a hero however… he just steps in to do what he thinks is right yk

> like—grab two mobians and ask what their opinion on sonic is and ill guarantee that their opinions will be entirely different

> one will see his acts as righteous while the other may think otherwise

> m mm mmmmmmm m

> nice… yeah this is nice….

> i cant wait to get genuinely explicit with the details one day

> i wish go share to you my truth.

> the day i die, i wish for some lonely kid to have the slightest bit of same idea i had and resonate with what i created

> and hopefully theyll act with the inspiration in the palm of their hand

> and do it better than i ever could.