#if i scroll past one more comment like that i swear to god

[sarakiz]

someone more patient than me please kindly explain that no the domnina/shabalin OD and other similarly appropriative programs are not the same thing as an asian skater doing carmen because blatant disrespect aside, the european classical music tradition has been considered the artistic gold standard of this sport since its inception.

[acid-ixx]

update and story excepts

guys i swear if i post chapter 4 sooner for my series: again &. again, soon, will that revive the yandere batfam/dc tag because i swear i've been consuming less content of it both lately and sadly 💔 like it's a bit dead ngl. ill reply to asks once i'm done with ch.4 istg

and yes, i'm back from my short hiatus again to announce this. and it's 3:30am but i dont care teehee. anyways, if i do post a new chapter expect it to be this week and that's final for once, since i've kept all of you guys waiting so long, i'm so sorry :(( i swear it's me trying to gain confidence through my writing and i don't know if i like chapter 4 or not. all i do know is that it's one of the most emotionally draining chapters so expect triple the angst, yippee!

anyways, excepts from the chapter below the line break:

DICK'S THOUGHTS:

he sighs, resigning his thoughts all to himself as he checks his phone every minute for a simple ring of notifications just from you. he prefers to leave his phone in silent mode from the multitude of other contacts bothering him, but god forbade if that means he'd scroll past to a single reply of yours, then he'd rather burn in hell.

dick doesn't know it. why he's suddenly obsessed with you. you? yes you, his stupidly precious sibling, the one who looked up to him, frail and wronged by the world, with so much drive behind that stare. third child of bruce, yet second youngest in the family. the one that got away, the one he has never once saw outside that one memory of glinting, awe-inspired eyes that told more stories than poets, drew more emotions than artists.

CONNER'S SCENES:

"you're hot," and if you were sober enough, you would've felt sheer embarrassment and shame from eyeing the boy, but you're not— and because you're not sober, or any bit sane, the next few sentences you spewed out were all coherent, yet wonkily pronounced utterances paired with teary eyes and sniffling nose, as you can't seem to control the feelings of melancholy in your heart and the sudden emotional burst from your ramblings.

"thank you, you too, actually— but are you alright-"

"haha! is it strange to say that you look so cute whenever you look at me with wide eyes in the short span of time we just met?"

"it's conner, conner kent. call me kon, though. or yours if it's you."

BATHROOM BREAKDOWN P.T.2 PRIOR TO CLUBBING

you don't remember the last time you looked in a mirror, looking healthy, fresh, and proud of yourself for dressing up in your style. in the back of your mind, there will always be hatred, resentment for how you look. and right now, you hate how you every bit of your appearance because...

because you look exactly just like an image of your mother and bruce wayne. a reminder, your punishment for your parents' beautifully tragic affair with one another. a billionaire who courted.the lowly dirt-class slut of gotham.

(spoilers: expect shit to go down with jason todd with you, and him with the family, and a good 4k words of you flirting with conner before actual shit goes down)

leave comments down below if you do like the direction this story is coming to! otherwise, thank you all for reading my series and supporting it from the start !! <33

[sturnioz]

fratboy!chris when he gets word that shy!readers friends have dragged her to a party at a frat house he does not fuck with

dude would still find a way to make a comment about how he literally doesn’t care (him rushing over there, pissed off at the inconvenience, severely contradicts that)

- 🫧

"what is your girl doin' at some other frat party?"

chris barely registers the question over the thumping bass of the rap track pulsing through the speakers and he lifts his head, momentarily distracted from counting crumpled dollar bills he'd made selling drugs all night.

"the fuck are you talkin' about?" chris snaps, his brows knitting together in irritation as nate shoves his phone into chris' line of sight, squinting at the bright screen as it presents an instagram post from your friend with a series of pictures at another frat house. "nah.. nah, s'not her. she's at home. studyin' for some stupid—"

"bro, it's her." nate insists, his voice cutting through chris' denial as he jabs at the screen, a tag of your username popping up on a photo of you in a short, black dress, one that's never seen you wear before.

chris refuses to believe it's you — of course he does.

why the fuck would you be at another frat house when you've always said you don't like parties? he clings to denial like a lifeline, but as nate scrolls to another picture, your face lights up the screen, a small smile gracing your lips beside your friends. it twists something dark and primal in his gut, igniting an anger he can't shake.

a humourless laugh escapes him, bitter and sharp, as he presses his tongue to his cheek and shakes his head in disbelief. he shoves the crumpled dollar bills into his pocket, the sound of his tongue clicking against his teeth echoing his frustration.

"yeah i uh, i don't give a fuck. nah, don't care." he mutters under his breath, but the words feel hollow as he stands up from the couch, his heart pounding in his chest. he sniffs defiantly, grabbing his phone from the armrest with a sense of urgency.

nate raises his brow, "then where are you—"

"shut the fuck up."

he's strides away from his fraternity house, jaw tensed and hands buried deep in his pockets, each step driven by a determination that pulses through him. the closer get gets, the louder the music and chaos of the party become, a mix that only fuels his irritation and subtle worry.

he pushes his way inside, shoving past people who block his path, eyes scanning the room frantically in search of you. familiar faces from his own parties greet — the guys giving casual handshakes and dap-ups, while a few girls giggle and tug at his arm.

he uses their attention to his advantage, pulling them in close, leaning down to whisper your friend's name in their ears, knowing she's the more well-known one out of you both.

they eagerly point him in the right direction, and he shoved them away without a second thought, their surprised gasps fading behind him as he navigates deeper into the crowd of bodies.

as he approaches the kitchen, he spots you and your friend filling up your cups, a smile present on your lips. without hesitation, chris saunters over, invading your personal space so suddenly that it makes you flinch back, nearly spilling your drink.

his hand grips your chin, tilting your head up so he can scrutinise your face, searching for any signs of drugs coursing through your veins.

you blink at him in surprise, confused etched across your features. "oh, what are you—"

"did y'take anythin'?" he cuts you off, voice low and urgent. "someone give you anythin', huh? what have you had? tell me, kid, i swear to god—"

"no, i didn't take anything," you frown softly, your cheeks squished together by his grip. chris exhales deeply through his nose before he finally pushes your head away, causing you to whine softly. "ouch—"

"the fuck do you think you're doin'?" you assume he's talking to you, but your surprise deepens when he turns to face your friend, who looks livid at his sudden appearance. "why're you bringin' her here, huh? are you fuckin' stupid?"

"i'm not going back to your stupid frat house again," your friend hisses, glaring back at him. "your asshole of a frat brother—"

"yeah, i don't give a fuck about what happened between you 'n my frat brothers, alright? 'cos that shit got nothin' to do with me. at all. she—" chris points back at you and you blink innocently, caught in the crossfire. "she got somethin' to do with me, yeah? you don't bring her here, you understand that?"

your friend opens her mouth to argue back, but chris is already pushing you out of the room, his hand pressing firmly against your lower spine as he guides you forward. you remain quiet, chewing your bottom lip nervously as you step outside into the brisk night air, the cold nipping at the bare skin of your arms and legs.

your glance up at chris who walks beside you with a tense jaw, his eyes narrowed at the ground, sniffing angrily.

"are you mad at me, chris?" you ask him softly, a hint of worry threading through your voice.

"nah. nah, not mad at you, kid," chris mumbles, tone gruff as he sucks through his teeth, glancing over at you briefly. he exhales deeply, then moves in front of you, fingers brushing beneath the thin shoulder strap of your dress. "look at you. what're you wearin' this for? never seen this shit before in m'life — got dresses like this lyin' around on the sly or somethin'?"

"it's not mine," you reply quickly, wanting to clarify that it was borrowed from your friend. you take a breath, wanting to address what just happened. "chris—"

"y'look pretty, kid," he interrupts, the compliment tumbling out suddenly. the implication is clear: he does not want to talk about it.

"oh, thank you, but—"

"c'mon. let's go back to mine, yeah? s'borin' here and uh, y'don't need to be here — safer with me, y'know?

you hesitate for a moment, wanting to stay put and try and make him talk to you, but chris is already moving, leading you further away from the party, the tension in his shoulders telling you that he's struggling with his own feelings and emotions.

you can't help but steal glances at him before you speak up again. "chris.. i want to—"

chris stops abruptly, turning to face you, the intensity in his eyes making your heart race. "i don't wanna talk, a'ight? 'cos yeah, kid, i am mad. m'not mad at you, but m'fuckin' pissed at her for bringin' you here when you don't even fuck with parties anyway. and i — i don't want you caught up in any of that shit that goes on here, okay? jus' wanna go home with you... okay? ...please?"

© STURNIOZ

[sainns]

OBVIOUSLY.

𝓢.ㅤ he can't tell if you're joking or not.

SJYㅤ୨୧ ⠀ femreader⠀ . . .ㅤ fluff jake's pov reader's flirty ig you could say college au jake's a hashtag overthinker AND oblivious not proofread as usual sawryㅤ715 words

"you're, like, kind of gorgeous,"

"woah, what?" jake gapes at you from over his laptop screen. you're sitting across from him, supposed to be helping with the research for your project. your laptop isn't even out on the table, though, but he swears he saw you typing away five minutes ago.

you hum, "you are gorgeous, actually. not kind of,"

"is this— what are you talking about? this is so random," he lets out an amused breath, running his hand through his hair. he could feel his heart racing, "i don't usually get called gorgeous,"

"i was just making an observation," you reach forward, pushing his screen down a little, "do you wanna be called handsome instead? or pretty?"

he blinks, "well, no. i mean, i don't care,"

you nod, "okay,"

he expects you to say something else, but you don't, smiling at him instead as you pull out your phone, seemingly scrolling through instagram or maybe twitter. he can't really tell.

he doesn't understand you. you're honest— to an insane level. catching him off guard on more than one occasion, an instance from last year coming to the forefront of his mind.

you had told him how you would give up everything to be his girlfriend, and then you moved on like it was nothing.

it was confusing to him. he swears it's just your personality; you're honest and flirty, and you make jokes that sometimes don't feel like jokes (the girlfriend thing, for example). he knows they're jokes, though.

or at least he thinks he does.

sunghoon told him that you only act that way with him. you haven't ever told sunghoon you wished you were his girlfriend or that he was gorgeous.

"do you like me?"

you look up from your phone, your eyes wide and eyebrows raised in surprise at his sudden question. hell, even he was surprised at what he said— it was egotistical, thinking that someone likes you just because they complimented you, but he blames sunghoon and jay. they both put the idea in his head, and after your comment, he couldn't not ask.

if you said yes, he could ask you out. he'd ask you on a date and eventually ask you to be his girlfriend, and if you said no then . . . well, he doesn't know what he'd do.

he'd probably have to avoid you for a while, out of embarrassment. hopefully, you'll be able to move past that and be friends with him again.

you laugh— a small, shy laugh, like you're nervous— and you bring your hand up to wipe away an imaginary speck of dust on your skin. "obviously. i mean, i think it's obvious. is it not?"

"seriously?"

"yeah," you say, placing your phone down and leaning forward, "was it really not obvious?"

"i thought you were just playing around,"

you stare at him in disbelief. "jake, i kiss you all the time,"

his face heats up at your reminder. you do kiss him all the time, among other things. now that he's thinking about it, the two of you have a pretty physical relationship.

"on the cheek! i figured you were a touchy person. do you really like me?"

"oh my god, jake. yes, i like you. a lot. i don't do anything i do with you with anyone else,"

"oh, okay, cool cool," he taps his finger against the table, looking everywhere but you. he has no idea how to handle this information— how on earth did he not know you like him? he's going through your friendship, and you were, in fact, obvious about it.

"jake."

he blinks, "what?"

"do you like me?" you're staring at him, a little amused and annoyed at the same time.

"oh, sorry— yeah. yeah, i do. i do like you. do you wanna . . . fuck, can i be your boyfriend?"

you laugh once again, less shy and more teasing. his nervousness is making your nervousness go away, it looks like. he's glad that his lameness can bring you some joy, whereas he wants to go cry to sunghoon about how stupid he's being.

"sure. i did say i'd give up everything to be your girlfriend,"

then you give him the prettiest smile, and he thinks that he's simultaneously the luckiest and stupidest man in the universe.

note. i feel like this is bad and makes no sense but idc i just like oblivious jake and wanted to write smt for him :/

[sturnalsm]

𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗 𝗧𝗢

(M.S)

summary: you and Matt dont like eachother, you hang all the time, only because of his brothers tho. Chris and Nick went out to pick Chris's girlfriend and left you and Matt alone. you are in the living room on your phones and Matt completely ignores you

!! WARNINGS !! : make out, smut, choking, biting, pet names, swearing

it was like 11pm or something, you didnt even knew the time, Chris and Nick went to pick uo Chris's girlfriend for god knows what reason why, its not like you hated her but you didnt liked her either, she was annoying you, nothing more, nothing less. but the worst part is that they left you and Matt alone. right now you were doing nothing but sitting on the couch in the living room on your phones.

Matt was literally ignoring you, 10 minutes ago you asked him if he can give you his charger, silence. he just kept scrolling on tik tok do you got up and got it. not a big deal tho. you were scrolling on tik tok as well when an edit of him pops up, but you didnt scrolled and you kept watching it and watching it when.. "what is that video that you're staying on for the past 5 minutes can you fucking scroll or something, its pissing me off" Matt finally spoke complaining about the video, he didnt knew it was an edit of him..

"what are you watching anyway? let me see" and thats when you didnt knew what to say so you immediately scrolled down. "oh uh i' nothing.." he looks at your and grabs your phone scrolling to the upper video. "is that me?!" he says in shock "MATT GIVE ME MY PHONE C'M ONNNN" he laughs as he holds your phone oht of reach "why are you watching edits of me huh" "it just poped up, please give me my phone Matthew" he kept your phone still out of reach speaking again "you like me or sum'?" he asked with a smirk "ME?! LIKE YOU?" you say like its not obvious.. "are you sure about that, sweetheart?" "100%" you say as you start blushing. He takes a seat next to you, your thighs touching each other. He leans closer to you, his breath warm on your ear "You're a bad liar, you know that?" "im not lying now give me my phone" He doesn’t move, his body remaining close to yours, the proximity between you increasing "You’ll just go back to watching edits of me, right?" you roll your eyes at his words. "dont act like you dont watch my Instagram posts all day, tough guy" He rolls his eyes at your comment, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks "You’re one to talk, you never stop thinking about me." awhhh is someone blushing" you say jokingly making him a little mad. He rolls his eyes again, his cheeks still a bit red "Stop talking, I swear to god" you look him in the eyes "or what?" he moves closer to you, his body practically pressing against yours "Or I'll make you stop talking" you smirk at his comment he grins mischievously, placing his hands on your waist, pulling you even closer to him "I have my ways." you smirk at him "show me then"

he suddenly lifts you up, placing you in his lap, completely straddling him. His hands move to the small of your back as he gazes at you "Now you're trapped." you instantly blush "too bad" he smirks"You say that as if you don’t secretly like it." he laughs, one of his hands tracing circles on the skin of your waist, just underneath the edge of your shirt "Don’t lie to me. We both know you love being this close to me." "who said that i love it?" you keep teasing him he rolls his eyes again, growing more and more impatient. His hand on your hip is gripping tighter, his fingers pressing into your skin "You’re a terrible liar. Your body language gives you away. You're enjoying this just as much as I am." "mm...no im not" you love teasing him, you know he is going insane by it and you're here for it. he moves his face closer to yours, his breath warm on your ear again "So if I started kissing your neck right now, you wouldn’t like it at all?" "oh fuck.." you said to your self. he chuckles, his lips grazing against your neck. he places a soft kiss just below your ear, his tongue tracing a slow, torturous trail down to your collarbone “You were saying something?” "shut up.." he lets out a low chuckle, his lips still on your neck, leaving a trail of kisses across your skin "Why should I? I like hearing the cute little noises you make." you bite your lip at the feeling of his lips on your neck which drove you crazy and you wanted more.."Matt.." she moans

he grins against your neck, his lips moving lower towards your collarbone, leaving marks as he goes "Hearing you moan my name is such a turn on, you know that?" "oh look who's turned on" he pulls back for a moment, his eyes locking with yours, a slight smirk on his lips* "Yes, I am. Your little moans are driving me crazy." you smirk "stop teasing me then" you take a deep breath "please.." he chuckles, his hands gripping your thighs a little tighter "Please what? Use your words, darling." "please matt i want you so bad.." he laughs softly, a sense of satisfaction in his voice "Beg for me? You really are desperate for me, aren’t you? Tell me you need me, darling. Say it and I’ll give you whatever you want." "i need you so bad.." he moans softly, pulling you even closer to him, your bodies pressed together, so close there’s only centimeters of space between you, he looks at you for a few seconds befire grabbing you by the waist and slamming his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. Matt immediately deepens the kiss, his hands gripping your thighs tightly, his fingers digging into the skin. he grabs your neck as he starts kissing you once again his tounge sliding into your mouth exploring every inch of it.

she slowly starts moving her hips on his lap. he moans against your lips, his hands moving from your thighs to your hips, holding you even closer to him. He can feel you moving against his lap, the sensation driving him wild* "Mm, you’re teasing me again, aren’t you? You know what that does to me?" "hm, i dont know, what does it do to you baby" he moans as you call him baby, he pulls back slightly, his lips hovering against yours "Seeing you move against me like this? It makes me want to do so many things to you." you smirk at him, you know exactlywhat youre doing and you love the way he loses control "what things? he looks at you "Mmm, I could show you..." he moves his lips to your ear, his teeth gently tugging on your lobe "You sure you want me to show you? Once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself." "dont stop." you say as you look him in the eyes. "you think you can take me huh?" he slowly slides his hands under your skirt sliding his hands slowly to the inside of your thighs "please dont tease me Matt.." you roll your head back moaning quietly. he looks at you with a smirk sliding one of his hands under your panties doing circles on your clit. "fuck.." you moan. he looks at your as he slowly pushes his middle finger inside of you causing you to moan even louder. he starts moving his fingers faster. before you could think he puts a second finger stretching you out. "matt ohmygod.." he smirks "if you cznt take my fingers how are you going to take my cock whore?" his fingers going deeper you hitting that one spot which made you go wild. "matt i nee- *moans* i need your cock please" you get the sentence out of your mouth in one go. "so needy huh?" he looks up at you still with his fingers in you going faster and faster. he stops and gets them out of you "open your mouth" you obey as he puts his fingers in your mouth "suck, doll" you start sucking his fingers. "youre going to listen to me and youre going to listen to me good." he gets his fingers out of your mouth grabbing your waist and making you stand infront of him as he gets up as well. "on all fours doll"

you go down infront of him on your knees and hands. he starts unbuttoning his jeans taking them off as well as his boxers till his knees. "suck." you look up at him and get his cock in your hands stroking him a few times before taking him into your mouth "oh fuck.." he sahs as his breat hitches. "kee..keep going" you starts sucking him faster making him go wild. "shit..im going to cum.." as you hear those words you go faster again knowing how good you make him feel. soon he cums in your mouth making you shallow every drop. "good girl, you can get up now." you get up, he grabs your hand and pushes you against the wall facing him. he starts taking off you tshirt, your pants then your panties leaving you completely naked. he looks at you "turn around baby" you obey again. "now tell me..do you want my cock inside you huh?" he says, his breath on your ear, his hands on your waist.. "matt please..fuck me already you're teasing me too much please i need it bad.." he smirks at your response spanking your ass before slamming aggressively into you. "MATTHEW" you scream his name making him go crazy. he doesn't say anything he just goes deeper and faster inside of you, your eyes bluring with every thrust. he grabbed you waist "bend over" you put your hands on the wall and bend over for him. "fuck yes.." he starts going even faster than before making you scream and moan his name. he puts his hands on your neck choking you.

you were going insane, his cock felt so good inside of you. you were going literally insane from every thrust. he knew what he was doing and he knew you loved it. "you are..so thigh.." he puts his both hands on your back making you bend over ven harder, causing you to moan. "im..g- goin to c..cum Matt..fuck" he puts his hands on your hips now "go ahead baby" your legs start shaking you barley can stand on them. after a few seconds you make a mess on his cock. your cum going down by your thighs and on the floor.. "you're such a good girl ma'." he says grabbing your waist and turning you around. he kisses your lips picking you up, you wrapping your legs around his waist. he puts you on the sofa gently going down to your neck leaving red marks, he sucks and botes onto your neck causing you to moan. "you're a moaning mess" he looks up at you. "lets clean you up sweetheart "....

HELLOQOOAOAKAJSJQOWK SORRY FOR THE SHORT STORY I DIDNT HAD MUCH IDEAS BUT STILLLWIDI HOPE YOU LIKE IT

[papaya-twinks]

mauve - l.n - p.3

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Sexism

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

Taglist: @cheriiepies@jan1on@sagestack@fall-bambi@meglouise00 @eclipsedcherry @suzzie105 @rebelatbay @fly-me-away @cabbyhabs @djoenthusiast @georgeparisole @justcharlotte @cutieln4 @amz824 @coff33andb00ks @yoruse @neferaskingdom @dramaticpiratellamas @leonie404 @scarletwidow3000 @awritingtree

other parts 💜

“God, she’s so fucking infuriating,” Lando said, balancing his phone against his water bottle as he buttoned up his white shirt. “You mentioned,” Max refrained himself from rolling his eyes as Lando ignored him. “Like, why does she insist on being such an annoying little shit? Is she trying to piss me off?”.

“And that stupid little dress she wore before practise and quali,” Lando said, his mind jumping back to the memory of the dress you’d worse, the thick, knitted black minidress, the holes between the wool showing off your skin. “Is she trying to tease me or something?” Lando asked, more to himself than to Max.

“I don’t think she wore it for you,” Max said, “but you sure are getting worked up about it,”. Lando rolled his eyes as his hands ran through his selection of chains and necklaces, sliding a couple rings onto his long fingers. “I’m not worked up about shit,” Lando said, his voice sounding forced and strained.

“Whatever,” Max scoffed, knowing Lando could be a stubborn little shit sometimes, “you blocked her for making a joke, at least unblock her maybe? Proves you’re not as petty as you made out to her,”. Max did have a point, Lando supposed, as he took his phone out, hand hovering over the ‘unblock’ button.

You hadn’t even blocked him back, which onto made him look petty. God, you knew his game better than he did. “Look, me and some do the guys are gonna head down to the club, meet us there when you’re done selecting which necklace is the least feminine,” Max said as Lando snickered, hanging up.

“She’s such a-,” Lando said, showing Max the phone. “A bitch, yeah, you mentioned,” Max said, rolling his eyes, “now what are you showing me?”, he squinted at the phone, reading the comments. “Man, I put them fire emojis, I always put them and she sent the extinguisher,” Lando groaned.

“You told her she was shit as well,” Max protested weakly, knowing Lando would either flip at that, or ignore it. “Whose side are you even on?” Lando grumbled, though he did know he was being unreasonable. But he just didn’t understand why he felt so….so annoyed with simply your presence.

“Fine,” Lando said, putting his phone back down, “if she wants a social media rivalry coz she’s too shit to even bring her car close to mine,” he hissed, “she can have that,”. But yet, as Lando forced himself to try and understand and make himself believe that he hated you…he couldn’t help doing what he did next.

As much as Lando hated to admit it, you were very beautiful. He could see why people said that, though you wouldn’t catch him dead with those words on his lips. It was well past midnight by now, as Lando just scrolled and scrolled through all your photos, the ones from your F2 days, karting days.

If little Lando had been told you’d be a driver one day, and he looked at you at that age, when you were little and karting too, he would’ve probably laughed. To him, what could a girl do? Well, tomorrow was when you showed what you could do.

You’d qualified 13th, just behind Alex, which was a pretty solid result considering you were driving a cheese grater on wheels, but mow was the race. Your palms were sweaty, arms heavy as you walked onto the grid. You’d at least manage to line your car up fine, which was a good sign in some respects.

You’re nervous, you could feel your heart throbbing against your chest, but on the surface you look calm and collected, ready to drive the shit out of this race. “Hi, Y/N,” an interviewer appeared out of nowhere as you walked up and down the pit lane, silently assessing each car.

“How are you feeling for the race?” she asked as you blinked for a few seconds. You opened your mouth, you’d forgotten what you’d practised, everything you wrote down, it was all gone. The race hadn’t even begun and you’d choked already. You gave the reporter a weak smile before nodding your head and walking back to your own car.

Not an encouraging boost. As you say in the car, talking quietly to yourself, you watched the light go off to signal a formation lap. It was the same as F2 and F3, just warm up your tyres, slide to the left and right to grab some heat into them. You’d done it countless times before, you could do it again, right?

“Fuck!” you hissed as your front left tyre immediately locked up at the front corner. You just about managed to make it round the corner, but it was no doubt that that type was no overheated, and more than likely flat spotted. “God, she’s locked up already?” Lando snickered as he watched you through his rear view.

He looked forward to telling Max he was right about you being shit. You lined up into your box, a little further back than you would’ve liked, as you waited for the lights to go out. One…two…three…four…five. And out they went, your foot stamping down on the accelerator. Much to your own surprise, you’d gotten a decent start.

You barely registered the cars that you passed, making up two places already as you made it round the first corner. Thank shit. Alex had made it up to tenth, the last of the points paying position, and you were just behind. The last thing you’d ever want to do on your debut was fuck up your teammate’s and your own race.

You watched as the cars who started on soft began to file into the pits, Lando included as he tapped his steering wheel with his fingers, waiting for the tyres to change. And where did he come out? Right behind you. Great. “For fucks’ sake,” Lando cursed to himself.

“Y/N, don’t fight it,” your radio engineer said as you ignored him, defending like it was the race of your life down to the first corner. “Y/N, please, don’t overheat your tyres, this isn’t your fight,”. You didn’t care, you hated Lando. You hated that man more than anything, he was nothing but a stupid jerk, he deserved it.

“Y/N, this isn’t our race, we’re not racing Lando, I repeat, we’re not fighting Lando,” your engineer said firmly. God, fuck it. With a silent yell, you let Lando pass you, watching him wave one hand out of the side of his cockpit to you. Was that a thumbs up or a middle finger? You couldn’t tell.

You struggled with your tyres for the remainder of that stint, pitting to come out in 9th, before getting swiftly overtaken by Alex, and then Daniel. It wasn’t a bad race, yes, you’d not come in the points, but you had only gone up two places.

Fuck, Lando, he was a dick.

[fatale-distraction]

BG3 Companions Social Media Headcanons Part 1

I was bored at work and couldn’t stop. 🤣 I’ll make another post with Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc, and some NPCs!

~~~

Astarion - Pre-Tav, Astarion's social media is mostly thirst-traps for some kind of nefarious, Cazador-related money-making plot. They barely scoot past the TOS on lewd content. Very little real personal content, anything that isn't a thirst trap is heavily doctored lifestyle content to make it seem like he's living a much more luxurious life than he actually is.

After meeting Tav and getting rid of Cazador, he deletes all of his old accounts and opens up new ones. They're not exactly private, but he's much more careful about who he follows and who can follow him back. The posts become much more genuine. Still a lot of selfies, but they're sexy in the way of a guy just finally living his truth and being comfortable in his own skin. There's more shots of his daily life; waking up with his partner's obnoxious pets strewn across the bed, morning coffee and his current favorite book, new outfits that make him feel more himself. Tav features heavily in most of his posts, and there are probably as many pictures of them as there are of himself.

Karlach - chaos. No rhyme or reason. Lots of parkour and Jack-ass parodies. Constant flood of pictures of her stuffed animal collection. Stupid filters abound. There's several videos of her just flexing. Lumberjack videos. Seven hundred pictures of Tav, tons of selfies together. Videos of her literally sobbing over some cute stuffy she found or a dog she got to pet. "How many times can I say the fuck word before I get suspended." Memes. Memes everywhere.

Lae'zel - She follows three accounts and never posts anything, but somehow she's constantly scrolling through. What does she even do? Her profile picture is still the default. She doesn't have any profile information filled out. It just says "No." Her screen name is just Lae_zel. Every single item in her favorites is a cat video. She has One photo and its a gym selfie. All of her comments seem really mean at first, but they're all weirdly supportive things along the lines of "your teeth are sharp and your visage terrifying".

Shadowheart - total E-girl influencer vibe. Everything is #nofilter. She doesn't need filters. She's god's most perfect princess. You can't even be mad because it's not vanity its just how she Is. Ends everything with Prayer-hands-emoji hashtag Shar'sblessings or Selune'sblessings depending on where she is in that journey. Hairstyle and makeup tutorials and she makes it look so damn easy. "Dye my hair and cut my bangs with me." "Get ready with me" videos nearly every day. Every picture has a comment from Astarion that just says "oh fuck off" because even he can never hope to be as perfect as she is. Or at least that's what her forty-five thousand followers think.

Wyll - The official Blade of the Frontier social media account(s). Fencing videos and promos. "How to polish your horns for newbies" video that's been taken down twenty-seven times for lewd content even though it's literally for polishing actual horns. Accidental thirst traps because damn. Lots of disability advocacy, especially for visual impairments. Weekly Demon/Devil PSAs. Constantly featured in Karlach's vids and vice-versa. Buddy selfies. Once in a while a pic of him with his dad. Pics with Tav are rare, but when he does post them they're the sweetest pictures and he gushes about them for paragraphs. It's a little gross how gushy they are. Astarion comments with vomit emojis and Wyll just replies with an angry face emoji. The purest content. He's so wholesome. Not a swear to be seen. Lots of gentle hype videos. "You've got this. You can do this. I believe in you."

Gale - oh my god he has the most pretentious social media accounts. He's worse than Astarion. "Well, actually" videos with multiple parts because they're too long. Tea and bookshelves. Tara. So many pics of Tara. Tara napping on a book. Tara swatting a fly. Tara in the window. Tara on the kitchen counter. Tara laying in the sun. Tara doing nothing. He has one of those fancy cat terrarium backpacks. Magic tutorials. Mystra simp. Surprisingly few selfies but the ones he has are IMMACULATE. Pretentious book reviews. His only saving grace is that he is HILARIOUS. He's the only one with a reasonable about of pics with Tav as opposed to almost none or way too many, but the captions are always really sweet.

~~~

Part 2 here!

Part 3 here!

Part 4

[bloodybreakupscene]

-> 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 ! !

miles morales [ 1610 ! ] x reader

◗ 　basically miles has a crush on someone he sees around school

◗ 　thsi is inspired by @/moonpiies fic but it's #REVERSED!! her fic was so cute i was kicking my feet and giggling while reading it but with that aside miles is so real for changing his whole walking schedule to see a cutie patootie :3

miles yearned for the past time between fifth and sixth period. for no particular reason of course….is what he tries to think but in reality it's just to see you. now you don't share any classes together. maybe the same lunch period? but only on thursdays. the walk from his fifth period to his sixth is only about a couple minutes, one if he's feeling a bit more athletic than usual.

'okay.. just got to take a left from here..' he thinks as he walks downstairs. as he's doing this, you glance at him, only because you swear you've seen him during passing time last period, but whatever you walk off towards your classroom failing to recognize miles' silent victory. you made eye contact with him! for two more seconds than last time!

he arrives at class a minute before the late bell rings. he can't help but feel giddy as he thinks about the next route he can take to meet with you again.

anyone with a heartbeat can see from a mile away that he has the hugest crush on you. hearts basically popping from his eye sockets whenever you two cross paths in the hallway. he sees you usually walking with a friend laughing at something they said or rolling your eyes because– again— of something they said. embarrassingly enough, he imagines it's him making you laugh or smile.

the bell rings once more and miles and his friend, ganke, walk out of the classroom to go to their shared final period.

"wait, let's take the long way." miles says, already leading the both of them to the longer hallway.

"oh my god miles do you even have a class with them?" ganke comments, frankly quite annoyed that they might be tardy.

"no, but… we follow each other on instagram!" he replies.

"whatever man. do what you want." ganke rolls his eyes, continuing to follow miles.

you scroll on your phone, changing the song you were walking to and see miles again. you only know his name and that you seem to find each other after every passing period. you hoped it didn't look like you were stalking him, but nevertheless you walked into your class.

[pricegouge]

That drabble was GREAT I'm imagining bear!bunny huffily leaving a review later on Yelp like "0/5 got a fish thrown at me didn't even let me stay to watch the game before they called animal control and my team lost. But the chicken is really good" and Price reading it and having to sit down because. The fucking bear knows how to type?

Oh my god keyboard karen bunny… 

Takes place directly after this. I used google reviews instead of yelp just cause I have more experience with it 

"Soap, what the hell is this?"

The man looks over lazily from where he's pithing lemon, but straightens up when he sees John's genuinely pissed off face. "What's what, sir?"

John slides his open phone to the man across the bar, recent zero star review on full display. "Very funny but you're fucking with my average. Take it down."

Soap frowns down at the phone, reading over the angry lines of text with a scowl that only deepens with every word. "Ah dinnae write this!"

"Then who did?" 

"Fockin' -," he glances back at the phone, scrolls up until he sees the reviewer's name, "Mama-bear-four-oh-six." John just glares at him, unimpressed. Soap huffs, waves the phone back at his boss. "Cap, ah clearly dinnae write this. None of this is in Scots."

"Shite," John deflates. He takes his phone back with a pat to the other man's shoulder. "You're right, sorry mate. But if you didn't, who did?"

"Si?" Soap sounds just as unconvinced about it as John is. "I dinnae ken. Did ye check the account?"

Of course he did. MamaBear406 was a brand new account as far as he could tell; as close to anonymous as Google allowed. One of the main reasons he'd assumed someone was taking the piss. Well, that and because aside from the three of them, the only creature present for the fish incident had been the bear itself. Herself?

"Must've been Simon," John hedges, just in time for the man in question to come easing through the saloon doors, quiet as a mouse save for the way he read allowed from his phone.

"'Zero out of five stars. A real shame about the service. With its beautiful open store front and kitchen I swear I could smell a mile away, I thought I'd found the perfect new watering 'ole. Boy was I wrong. They threw a fish at me! Didn't even let me stay until the end of the second period before calling authorities on me. So rude. Chicken was good.'" Simon eyes them from under his heavy brow. "Cap, you know what this means?"

"My ratings are now arse?"

"Our Johnny's learned to spell."

"Ye fockin' -!"

"Alright," John cut Soap off sternly. "Was it you, Si?"

"Please." The big man lumbers closer, tabling his phone as he leans across the bar to join their huddle. "If I wanted to ruin your reputation, I'd just stop coming to work."

John sighs, bewildered about their predicament, but believing his mate all the same. Soap, then. Meddling bastard. He hangs his head, catching a glimpse of Simon's phone in the process. "Oh look, we've got a defender." 

Soap leans past Simon's shoulder to read the comment below the review asking MamaBear what she did to deserve such treatment. "Ah know him. Regular. Ah'll 'spill' his first round next time he comes in."

"Good lad," John agrees. At a loss, he pulls his own phone back to himself and taps MamaBear's icon again, hoping to glean something new -.

And frowns in shock when he sees a new comment posted, thirty seconds ago.

"'Was just trying to watch the game!'" he recites.

The other men frown in confusion at him and John simply reaches over, refreshing Simon's page to display MamaBear's responding comment under the other one. Even Simon looks confused, eyes darting to Soap suspiciously. 

"How'd you do that?" he demands, and Soap starts whinging about never being believed or something, but John's not listening. Too busy coming to terms with the fact that he may be the kind of man who's willing to believe a bloody bear wrote a Google review.

next>>

[thatfreshi]

"If You Simply Must Know" (Uni AU P. 7)

no tw!!

Your class at noon comes quickly enough as you try to focus on anything other than the anomaly of a man you've been presented with. Between scrolling through Instagram and staring off into space, you successfully manage to pass the time. However, you're a little too successful, because that said class starts in five minutes, which means you're going to have to sprint to get there.

When you do finally make it, the class is almost entirely full, leaving you one spot at a long table in the back. And much to your surprise, the six particularly interesting people you'd met over the past couple of days. From left to right, you see Wyll, Astarion, an empty seat between him and Lae'zel, Gale, Shadowheart, and Karlach. So, you take that empty seat, and playfully whisper to the man next to you.

"So much for that meeting."

He almost ignores you. Almost. There's a slight smirk, that you probably wouldn't have picked up on if you weren't looking for it. Remembering your schedule, you realize something quite odd. This is a mandatory public speaking class, which means all seven of you put it off for far too long, especially considering at least two of you are seniors. It almost makes you laugh, thinking about all of you avoiding a class like this until now. The introduction lecture passes by slowly, but soon enough the professor is introducing your first project.

"Now, since there are 21 of you in here, and you've already grouped yourselves accordingly, say hello to your groups for the quarter."

And everyone sitting at your table lets out some noise of dissaproval, and you can hear Gale and Shadow whispering to one another. After the professor finishes telling you where you can find the project details in the syllabus, you get up out of your chair, and sit on the table.

"Okay, listen up."

They almost don't listen to you, but you clear your voice until they all look at you.

"Now, I know we all have our differences here, and if we have to work together, we're all going to be nice about it. Gale, Shadow, Lae'zel, you have to be nice to Astarion, or else."

You then look at Karlach and Wyll on the ends of the table.

"And you two? I don't know what your problem is, but please, please get along. I do not want to baby all of you on how to be peaceful with one another, and I will not hesitate to put any of you in timeout."

"Timeout? What are we, children?"

Shadowheart asks.

"Well, you certainly act like it."

You glare at Astarion for the comment.

"Hey, I'm repping you right now, watch it. And yes, you all are acting like children, and I'm sick of it! Why can't we just try to get along, please? No more petty drama, at least while we have to be in class together?"

"But-"

"Gale, I swear to god, if you bring up the RA thing one more time, I'm going to drop out."

And that seems to do it, at least for the time being. They all reluctantly agree to deal with one another, and Astarion stays oddly silent after your comment about repping him to the group.

"Alright! I mean I only really have issues with Wyll, but it seems like the rest of you got something goin' on."

Karlach smiles, excited to get involved with the rest of you. Wyll goes to make a retort, but pushes it down when the two of you make eye contact.

"So, when do you all want to meet up to work on this?"

The seven of you begin discussing schedules, and Astarion says no to almost every proposed plan.

"God, can you just move some things around?"

Lae'zel is already getting frustrated.

"Funny that you think I can do that. Darling, I promise all my plans are far more important than some silly school project."

He does the thing again with his sleeve, hiding the grit of his teeth well.

"Tell me again why we can't just do Thursday? That's the only day I have free this week."

"Because I TA for Professor Mystra on Thursdays. It's an all-day endeavor."

You try your best to not get onto them again, instead dealing with the issues as they arise.

"Okay Gale, do you have like a lunch break on those days? Because if so, we could just do that."

"I suppose we could meet up for an hour at noon..."

He's clearly not happy to concede to Astarion's horribly busy life, but finally there's a plan.

"Perfect, Thursday at noon! Oh, and we should make a group chat."

Karlach collects everyone's Instagram handles as she passes her phone around the table.

"Nice to meet you guys, see ya! Oh, and bye Wyll."

She flips the bird before laughing and walking away, Shadow staring at her all the while. The group dissolves quickly, and you just so happen to walk Astarion's way when you all leave. You address him first.

"You not a walk and talk kind of guy?"

"Not many people want to walk and talk with me, and if they do it's usually just to tell me something, not to actually converse."

"Well, are you particularly against conversing?"

"No, I just don't have much to talk about I guess. A lot of things in my life have to stay private, whether I want them to or not."

"Okay, well we don't have to talk about modeling and stuff."

"You're quite funny Tav. That's the interesting part, that's what people always want to talk about."

He takes a sip of his coffee.

"Well, I don't care about all of that. I like knowing cool stuff about people, like their favorite color."

Astarion almost spits out his coffee with laughter.

"You're kidding? Like an elementary schooler? You're actually going to ask me what my favorite color is?"

You just nod, awaiting an answer.

"Fine. It's red, if you simply must know."

"Cool! See, was that so hard?"

He thinks to himself that yes, it was actually hard to believe someone wanted to know something so innocent and pointless about him, but he simply sighs.

"No, I suppose it wasn't."

The two of you walk and talk for a while, and you constantly wait for him to say he has somewhere else to be, but he stays. You wander aimlessly around campus for about an hour, wasting time away on silly questions about favorites, and eventually get on the topic of favorite book.

"That's too difficult for me. I read far too much for there to be only one answer to that question."

"Really? When do you ever have time to read?"

"Well, I have to read a lot for philosophy, and I often have issues sleeping. If I don't have time to actually sit down with a book I settle for audio books, but it's not the same."

He goes on talking for a while about his thesis project, something about morality stuff you don't fully understand, but you have this pang in your chest, a feeling that you could walk and talk to him for the entire day and feel as if you lost nothing. Astarion on the other hand, he's nervously waiting for you to tell him to stop talking, but he simply continues on, asking you about ethics dilemmas, the two of you laughing with each other for a very long time. In a split second, the smallest moment in time, he realizes someone is actually interested in him, as a person, and it takes every fiber of his being to push the feeling down so he doesn't tear up in front of you.

[erraticprocrastinator]

Maybe I’m imagining it, but am I the only one who’s noticed a significant shift in fandom culture very recently?

This is coming from someone who’s “grown up” with modern fandom culture, and I’m not even talking about the differences between now and six years ago, when I first started participating in fandom spaces. I mean recently as in the past few months, maybe the last year? Again, maybe this is just in my head, but, I swear, I feel like I’ve been seeing a bigger and bigger division between creators (fan artists, fic writers etc) and audiences (readers etc) across multiple fandoms and in general fan spaces, too.

In particular, it feels like reader entitlement when it comes to fanfics is becoming much more prevalent than I’m used to seeing. I’ve been coming across so many posts, across multiple platforms, trying to justify re-uploading others’ work, coming after authors who orphan or (god forbid) delete their fics, complaining about unfinished WIPs, and so many other things that honestly give me the ick. I know that, as an author myself, I’m biased towards these kinds of posts, but I really do feel like there’s been a shift from fans who really are just genuinely invested in this content to a way more hostile attitude. I’m used to seeing people who are upset about a favourite fic being removed, or disappointed about an abandoned WIP, but I’ve just never noticed so many people outright vilifying authors for it, or promoting things like using the Wayback Machine to copy and repost deleted content (something I have now seen people suggesting to each other on multiple occasions). It’s starting to put me off from actively participating in fandom at all, which I really don’t want to happen.

Even setting that particular issue aside, I’ve also noticed a huge uptake in people shaming both authors/artists and readers for the kind of content they produce and consume. I genuinely don’t think I can scroll through any of my social media feeds without finding at least one post complaining about a certain ship, or the way Author X portrays Character Y, or the existence of Dead Dove, or literally any other tag or trope that’s ever existed on AO3 or any other major site. I’m not talking about people asking others about their preferences, or people who say something just isn’t their cup of tea. I’m talking about posts, dozens of dozens of posts, made with the sole purpose of saying “eww, why does XYZ thing even exist, I mean who could ever read/write this, you’re disgusting if you do”, completely unsolicited, about every possible content you can imagine. I’m genuinely asking, whatever happened to “don’t like, don’t read” and “you’re allowed to click away”? Again, I’ve only ever known relatively recent fandom culture, but I always thought that “you do you” was the generally accepted attitude? I was actually anxious about posting my most recent fic because of this, and I’m honestly still a little afraid that I’m going to get a comment tearing apart my characterisation or end up as the subject of some unhinged Reddit thread — and what I write is pretty tame, compared to the darker works out there.

Have fandom spaces always been like this and I’m somehow only realising now, or has anyone else noticed these things, too? Is there some piece of the puzzle that I’m missing? I’d particularly love it if other fic writers could weigh in, because I’m really curious to see if it’s just me who’s seeing things this way.

[pathetickuroo]

a ranking and analysis of “epic: the musical” songs so far, from someone who knows a lot about theater and not a lot about mythology

RANDOM DISCLAIMER: to reiterate from the title, i know a lot about music and theater, but NOT a lot about greek mythology. i'm trying to slowly read the odyssey as sagas release so that i'm never too far ahead but i can still have a sense of where things are going. aside from that, i have very basic foundational knowledge from vague exposure to pjo (but i never got into pjo myself LOL)

(also no one better spoil the odyssey for me in the tags or the comments i swear to god this is supposed to be about the SONGS)

putting it under the cut so people can scroll past if they want; this is long as fuck and i'm not gonna pretend it isn't.

9. the horse and the infant

i almost placed this one higher SOLELY BECAUSE OF "PENELOPE… PENELOPE, AND TELEMACHUS". (side note: low placement absolutely does not mean bad. i love every song in epic. like, excessively.) i'm probably going to talk about odysseus's voice A LOT. i love it. the reason i got into this in the first place is because back when early auditions were happening, one of the demos came up on my fyp and i was baffled by the vocals. from a plot standpoint i really like what this song does lyrically and what it shows of odysseus in particular but also how the gods interact with the mortals. zeus is immediately talking down/condescending to odysseus (which is fair because. it's fucking zeus, and also a detail that was pointed out to me by my friend), who reacts saying he "knows" he's ready for, essentially, whatever zeus throws at him… until he finds out zeus is making him kill a baby. the first two songs in the musical (this and "just a man") both reveal so much about odysseus, which is of course good because that's who we're supposed to sympathize with.

anyway. love this song. fuckin bangs.

8. just a man

normally with these early character-establishing solos i like them a little at first and then always skip them after that first listen. that's just a Thing for me. like, i know who you are now, i don't need to hear it again. but not this song. this was the first song that really told me i was gonna obsess over this musical for a long time and that it was going to ruin my life. my ONLY criticism, and it's not even a big one because it doesn't truly bother me/disrupt my listening experience at all, is that it's hard to hear any distinct emotion from odysseus for most of it. BUT I CAN'T EVEN BE MAD BECAUSE HIS VOICE IS SO STUPIDLY GORGEOUS. maybe that's hyperbole but i feel like you can't blame me for that. again as far as plot hearing odysseus's internal struggle about killing the baby is very foundational for our understanding of the character. also, the dual meaning of the lyric "when does a man become a monster" which as others have pointed out refers (most likely) both to odysseus wondering if fulfilling his end of the prophecy will make him a monster and also wondering when, if this baby grows up, it will cause whatever destruction zeus foretold… i have a lot of feelings. i like this song a lot. a LOT.

SECOND RANDOM DISCLAIMER: at some point, you will probably start to think i sound pretentious. i like my own funny words and think i am a magic man. you are allowed to not like my funny words.

7. open arms

i would like to briefly touch on how much i love steven dookie's voice before we proceed. ok thanks. ANYWAY, this to me is our first real shift away from the musical theater genre-sound, something that i love about modern theater and particularly composition. the vocal style is less theater-inspired to me, too--until the lotus eaters show up--which really speaks to the message of the song in my opinion. the laid back sound after the sort of chaos and pain of the past few songs is refreshing to me. as far as characterization it solidifies what i feel we already knew about polites just from that little bit of him we heard in full speed ahead, but shows the more caring side to his positivity (the "you can relax, my friend" refrain and variations). i also love what it shows about the dynamic between odysseus and polites, establishing further that polites isn't just a soldier but a friend. this is one of the songs that i don't have a lot to say about, truthfully, but mostly because every time i listen to it i'm just enjoying the sound LOL

6. full speed ahead

SIX HUNDRED MEN. SIX HUNDRED MEN UNDER MY COMMAND…. this is where we really meet some new characters, and their introductions--true to form for the show--show a lot about them, both right away when they show up and all the way through the end of the song too. eurylochus, the battle-minded second-in-command to odysseus, and polites, the kind-hearted best friend to odysseus, both make their positions very clear not only in their verses but i feel also in just the way that they greet odysseus/each say "captain" (but that could also just be the different qualities of their voices). re: vocals, more vocal excellence from odysseus (have i mentioned "and ithaca's waiting etc" yet?), and polites sounds so fucking good constantly, and eurylochus has such a consistent tone through his whole verse. re: polites, a lot of the other voices in this musical are kind of standard fare (respectfully! i love theater voices genuinely) for what you imagine theater actors to sound like, but polites (played by steven dookie) has such a unique tone for this medium and i love it so so much. the soldier ensemble is insane too. from a compositional standpoint i LOVE the call and response, particularly on "so, captain, what's the plan? (captain, what's the plan?)" + that section where the soldiers echo odysseus that comes right after that. i didn't think this would beat just a man when i started this, but i was very wrong. very very wrong.

5. polyphemus

i don't want to talk about plot OR musicality, first. i want to talk about sound design. the choice of the particular sound effects that were used with the reverb and the overlapping noises from the sheep paint a very clear picture indeed of polyphemus's cave. (something that definitely did not hurt to accomplish this end was the teaser video where odysseus, eurylochus, and polites were in the dark holding candles (? i think, some kind of small light sources at least).) audio panning was also present in the intro for this track, i would say up until polyphemus starts to sing it's pretty prevalent, and audio panning is my favorite thing you can do to establish spatial understanding in non-visual media. okay, moving on. in this song, odysseus directly parrots polyphemus's words and melody, and this is a theme that continues in the other songs the two are both in. this also, to me, shows that one of the layers of his plan is to make himself seem more agreeable to polyphemus (which in itself as a fact i think is rather clear in terms of plot, but i think the specific methodology from a compositional standpoint is fun). AND JUST TO SAY: the moment at the beginning where this suddenly becomes a horror musical made my heart drop through my ass in the best possible way. i had to stand up for the rest of the saga because sitting down limited my range of motion too much and i had to go insane. in terms of characterization, we know that odysseus is smart and resourceful mostly from what we hear about him from others, but i feel like this song is the first one where we see that firsthand. i love this song.

4. warrior of the mind

the first song i had to just sit with and loop for a while (i did the same with just a man, but several days later upon relisten). athena's vocals never fail to astound me, teagan earley's tone is so clear and strong, and this is kind of specific but i like the choices she made on vowel placement, particularly on that last "mind" in the first chorus. also, i'm not even going to beat around the bush: i'm a trumpet player, i've been playing trumpet for theater and in other contexts for almost a decade now, and when i heard that low trumpet line underscoring the first establishment of the melody in the chorus, i KNEW an octave kick was coming and i was THRILLED when it delivered so perfectly. i don't know if it's synth trumpet or a live musician, i assume synth just for ease of production, but either way, i'm obsessed with it. absolutely a fantastic composition choice when it comes to ramping up the energy of the second half of that chorus. again in regards to composition: obsessed with odysseus's harmonic line in the second chorus. it took me a while to pick the notes out because i go a little harmony-blind sometimes when i'm too busy ooh-ing and ahh-ing but once i got that line in my head i was all about it.

(did not think this section would be so wordy, but) what this song shows about athena in my eyes is her fondness for odysseus--which sounds obvious until you remember how zeus interacted with him vs how athena does. athena gets close to talking down to odysseus sometimes, yes, but in more of a human, sarcastic way ("you'll see where it ends"). one could argue that the entire intro is her condescending to him in some way, certainly, but when she almost immediately also establishes that she sees the merit in his skills and his mind and has for some time now, it takes away the sort of preachy sound that was there when zeus was doing it. again in the characterization vein it shows odysseus's spirit, the more childish side of him (of course, because he was younger for much of this song) that we don't get to see in the songs that are set in the "present" period. in warrior of the mind, we see odysseus, the boy. in all the other songs, we see odysseus, the king.

anyway. i adore this song. if that wasn't, like. clear.

3. survive

THE ECHO OF THE HORSE AND THE INFANT. MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR. people other than me have said that this could be a way of showing that the fight with polyphemus is the will of the gods and i can see the merit in that standpoint but i also think that this is, in this telling at least (which is a distinction i make because i started the odyssey literally today and read maybe 10 pages before i had to go to class so i don't concretely know the details), showing that this is the first real conflict odysseus and the soldiers have been in since the seige of troy. also interesting to note: this song, if i'm not mistaken, is actually in compound meter at least in certain parts (before u fight me on this take a second to count it both ways, i'm not even entirely sure because of how i've been feeling the pulse). also, this reestablishes what i said earlier about polyphemus and odysseus parroting each other, but in this case i think it's polyphemus trying to do as much damage to odysseus and the soldiers as possible, certainly more like mocking them than trying to communicate on their level. (but also, melodic repeats are kind of just how music works, lol. remember when i said u might start to think im pretentious?)

now, maybe this is my sympathetic lens for odysseus showing, i fully admit that bias and own up to any way it may skew my judgement, but in that first chorus, i feel like odysseus isn't just trying to rally his men but to find the will in himself to fight as well. after the long war in troy and being confronted with polites's ideology, i would certainly be weary and sick of fighting. something about "it's just one life to take / and when we kill him then our journey's over" sounds so self-consoling to me. idk! maybe just me!

i'm, uh. not gonna talk much about the plot at the end, there. for obvious reasons, as someone who foolishly got attached to polites. we're gonna gloss over that. (fellow polites likers, how we feelin, though? we all coping?)

2. remember them

if you'll recall from many many paragraphs ago, i mentioned that in "just a man", i felt like there wasn't much emotion in odysseus's voice. this? the intro of this? this, to me, kind of makes up for that. and i mean the VERY beginning, the anger/intensity in that first verse. something that i noticed, that the fellow polites likers will be upset with me for pointing out, is that starting on "mark my words now" and through eurylochus asking "but captain, what'll we do with our fallen friends?", the guitar in the back is playing the melody of "we're up, we're off, and away we go" from "full speed ahead", the first song we hear from polites in. (sorry guys, if i was burdened with this knowledge you will be, too.)

this song and "polyphemus" both do a really good job of establishing horror-style tension. eurylochus's "there are more of them?" and what i would call horror sirens on the strings in the beginning of polyphemus are what i mean, here. it gives that nice stomach-swoopy feeling that recreational horror is so fond of. the ramping tension when eurylochus is pleading with odysseus to order them to run is fantastic too.

re: odysseus vocals. "my friend is dead! our foe is blind! the blood we shed, it never dries! is this what it means to be a warrior of the mind?!" will never NOT make me insane. it makes me want to scream, genuinely. and via the lyrics and instrumental sound we understand the ruthlessness of odysseus's vengeful side as well. again, possibly my sympathetic lens, but "let's grab the sheep and away we go" and during the argument up to that aforementioned point, odysseus just sounds tired to me.

also, i'm sure we all collectively shat our pants when we heard athena. i don't have much to comment on the matter further than that, but know that i was losing my fucking mind as soon as i heard her voice.

last thing: odysseus's choice of words when revealing his name is interesting to me. the "infamous" odysseus? infamy has a very negative connotation and maybe that's just him acknowledging that to polyphemus he'll always be painted in a negative light due to his actions in the cave, but it's an interesting choice in verbiage to me.

1. my goodbye

you were a fool if you thought this was ever gonna get anything other than first place of all the songs that are out so far. hearing athena and odysseus tear each other to pieces was so satisfying on the second listen with the new understanding that the partnership was sort of exhausting on both ends. i confess that my first thought right after i finished this song the first time was "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" but my SECOND one was "bro really wrote a breakup song and thought we wouldn't notice (but said with a positive connotation)". as far as i understand it, and i've asked questions about this so i'm fairly certain, there was nothing romantic in nature about the relationship between athena and odysseus (which i see as a good thing), and the song sounding like a breakup song is more a fun creative choice. and i DO think it's fun, in that case! so with that interpretation in mind, when i go back to the lyrics now, i think about how odysseus's original idea that he and athena would be friends was shot down and in this song i start to feel that maybe despite athena's best efforts they DID consider each other as friends. and of course i think that's intentional--that's why "you're not looking for a mentor, i'm not looking for a friend" cuts so deep.

there's also something in the way the two characters argue with each other that i find so compelling. i feel like athena is really trying to be right, or maybe not that she's trying to be right per se but that she's trying to make odysseus understand why he's wrong. odysseus, on the other hand, seems to be trying to hurt athena as much as possible, in as few words as possible. athena's argument has one core idea, and it's that odysseus is reckless/unfit to be her disciple because he's too emotional. odysseus, on the other hand, brings up several points, like 5 or 6 different little gripes about athena that he's probably been holding onto for who-knows-how-long. it just shows how the focus is entirely different on both parts and i like it a lot LOL

vocals absolutely deliver of course, that goes without saying. and i made that point earlier about how i felt odysseus didn't show much emotion in voice, and maybe this is just me being the #1 jorge rivera-herrans defender or something but i feel like a sort of detached-ness was intentional this time. like odysseus saying, "you can't fire me, because i quit." that's not entirely me being biased, i think the language reflects it too: "this way, you'll close the door and have your damn goodbye." that sounds dismissive to me, and the way that he previously frames athena leaving as something that would be good for him ("this way, you won't plague my life").

anyway….. less of a ranking and more of a song analysis where the songs just so happen to also be ranked. this was originally gonna be on my priv twitter, but the character limit was driving me up the wall, so. here.

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

I really need to share this... THING I left as a YouTube comment

"[Warning - huge The Elder Scrolls cosmology rant that I SWEAR was just supposed to be a funny little joke at one point]

I kinda love the Dwemer as the Precursors trope bc, in lore, the fact that they tried to use the Heart of Lorkhan (aka Shezzar aka Shor aka maybe possibly Pelinal in his past life, the creator deity of the entire world more-or-less, depending on how you look at it) and subsequently just VANISHED is kind of insane. Like they didn't DIE, they didn't actually get TRANSPORTED anywhere, just straight up VANISHED. For real world terms it's like if the very energy that made up their bodies was just… gone. The one and only instance of energy being, for lack of a better word, destroyed. Can you imagine that? That's basically what happened to the Dwemer, and nobody really knows why - the gods didn't actually punish them, nobody really DID anything about them trying to use the Heart of Lorkhan, they just did and subsequently vanished. It's probably the greatest mystery in the whole of Mundus and how do most people react?

"Welp, the Dwemer did a silly and vanished. Who gives a shit, I'm out of Skooma / my son drinks milk / filthy n'wah keep showing up / any other random personal issue." Literally nobody, even the brainiest of brainiacs, gives half a shit. The only thing some people care about is what they can learn from Dwemer tech, and even THEN nobody's thinking about how they could use the automatons as free labor or how steam could revolutionize transportation or any of that shit, instead the only thing anyone ever cares about is typically some magic McGuffin which typically doesn't make any sense whatsoever as to why the Dwemer would even make it.

I mean, again, to reinforce this, every single living being is, to an extent, a divine spirit given form as offspring of the Ehlnofey, who in turn were the offspring of the Aedra (aka the gods), who in turn are sort of the result of Existance Itself (Anu) pondering itself, thus creating it's own Soul (Anuiel) which wished to define itself by defining its own limitations, creating Sithis, then they all fucking ponder themselves so hard they make the et'Ada, one of which was Lorkhan, and then depending on who you ask, Lorkhan either tricked the et'Ada to create the world by pondering their own deaths or by convincing them of the beauty of parenthood or similar. If we follow the "ponder own death" storyline, some of the et'Ada straight up die, others nope the fuck out when they see what's up (among them, most famously, Magnus) and the remaining ones either sacrifice themselves to stabilize the world, essentially BECOMING the physical world or concepts in the world, being now referred to as "World Bones", or refuse to give themselves fully to create the world, choosing instead to populate it with their offspring and becoming the Aedra (also before you ask the Daedra are either the et'Ada who COMPLETELY refused to give anything at all when the world was created but wanted to stick around anyway, reaping all the benefits to no cost to themselves or else are illusions dreamt up by the et'Ada who pondered their own death).

So, mortals are infinitely small fragments of the divine, the One that is Everything, so the Dwemer couldn't have just VANISHED vanished, since they SHOULD still be a part of Anu, but they are nonetheless completely fucking vanished anyway because fuck you. I'm saying they're so thoroughly GONE that NOBODY knows where the fuck they are. At least nobody up to and including the Aedra, the third fucking tier of divinity - we're probably, like, tier 20 AT BEST when we play as the Dragonborn, btw, and that's just bc we have the soul of a Dragon, thereby counting as a descendant of Akatosh, the first ever Aedra. Regular people are probably at like, tier one sjjgillion or something. And the Aedra still (assumedly) have not a clue. Literally the only more divine existences are Anuiel and Sithis in tier 2 and Anu in tier 1, being Literally The Sum Of Everything. Sithis more or less interacts with the physical world via the Dark Brotherhood, at least in the sense that his wife (where is she even from btw), the Night Mother, orders the Brotherhood to murk people for pretty much no reason than she said so and her will is the will of Sithis or whatever. Not relevant - what I mean to say with this is that, essentially, any active actor in the world CAN'T know where the Dwemer went bc then "nobody knows" would be false, so even tier 2 beings don't know. Literally only the Sum Of Everything In Existance, the fucking personification of Before The Big Bang, knows where they went, and THAT tier 1 being is, as far as we all know, purely theoretical in it's existence.

To repeat myself. LITERALLY. NOBODY. KNOWS. Where the Dwemer went. Not even Ultra God knows. Fucking God Squared doesn't know. Only Actually God But For Real This Time MAYBE knows, but we don't know that bc literally nobody can talk to it??? So. AGAIN. NOBODY KNOWS. And your common Nord is more concerned about whether you, a complete stranger, do or don't drink milk."

[bitterflames]

fic writer interview

(tagged by @sunriseverse, tysm for the tag!! 💙 posting on my sideblog because it feels like the right place for this sort of rambling.)

How many works do you have on AO3? 10 (plus the one i orphaned, which still has my username attached). one is fanart. i'm... a very irregular writer.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 32,694 words (i do mean a very irregular writer lol).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) snow and repetitions of snow (elder scrolls) (169) 2) no takebacks (mysterious lotus casebook) (126) 3) a light that does not flicker (elder scrolls) (85) 4) what's in a name? (mysterious lotus casebook) (78) 5) to gravity and the unknown (elder scrolls) (50) the actual most-kudosed work of mine is the Accursed Orphan, red oni, blue oni (tensei shitara slime datta ken) with 2202 (oh god). it really, really wasn't my best work, i stopped following the canon when i got bored with the plot, and the constant stream of kudos emails started to get on my nerves, hence the orphaning.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? i try my best to! that said there are a lot of unanswered comments from periods where i just couldn't keep up with life. i appreciate each and every one though! i swear i'll get around to them someday 😭

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i tend to write bittersweet more than outright angsty. maybe snow and repetitions of snow, featuring two shitty stubborn wizards who are on-again off-again exes/enemies with benefits. it ends on them realizing that their ideals and personalities are irreconcilable and yet they cherish each other regardless. sometimes it just be that way!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? no takebacks is very short but given that it undoes a major character death and ends with a sort-of marriage proposal: probably that one. sometimes you just gotta write fluff to soothe the soul.

Do you write crossovers? not really. occasional crossover cameos can be fun, but overall they don't interest me a ton? i much prefer fusion AUs, but i don't often write them; perhaps because my stuff tends to be shorter and more intensely character-focused than setting-focused.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? not openly. if anyone's hating on my fics in private that's their prerogative lmao.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? occasionally! there's one explicit fic on my account and numerous WIPs that may or may not ever see the light of day. "porn with feelings" is probably the best description for the stuff i tend to write. sometimes the characters are trying very hard to ignore those feelings but they're still there. (shout out to the one lin chen/mei changsu WIP in my folder which is Very Much That.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not to my knowledge. i tend to write for small fandoms and rare pairs so i'm probably not high on the radar for that sort of thing?

Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! snow and repetitions of snow was translated into mandarin, i'm very happy that someone liked my fic enough to do so :)

Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet, though i've done illustrations for big bang fics in the past, and RP'd and created shared AU verses with friends. actual co-writing isn't something i've done, but the idea is intriguing! (that said, i'm extremely flakey and wouldn't wish myself as a co-writer upon anyone.)

What’s your all-time favorite ship? "all-time" is a pretty broad category, wow. in terms of sheer volume of fics i've bookmarked though mei changsu/xiao jingyan are absolutely destroying the competition, no contest. in terms of "currently rent-free in my brain" i am frantically paddling this XJY/MCS/LC rareship against the current.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? (gestures vaguely at my entire folder of WIPs. weeps loudly.) tbh talking too much about my WIPs or even giving them a serious title until they're most-of-the-way finished feels like giving them the kiss of death. i'm not superstitious but i'm like a little stitious, you know?

What are your writing strengths? given that my entire writing process feels kind of like banging my head against a wall while crying: hard to say! i'm told i'm good with conveying tension though. in terms of characterization, insufferable theatrical magnificent bastards.

What are your writing weaknesses? long plotty fic and me are not friends. my pacing can be a bit mood whiplash-y at times. i abuse italics and semicolons like they're going out of fashion.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? depends on the cultural context of the canon, the purpose for doing so, etc... like pretty much anything else, it can be used to good effect, or it can be really grating. i think things like honorifics and terms that don't have a good 1:1 english translation are pretty much fine.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? idk probably some pokemon OC thing when i was like ten years old? in terms of fic completed and posted online, elder scrolls.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? (shoving numerous WIPs back into my folder) does NiF count? i haven't finished anything for it yet... in terms of canons i haven't touched at all, maybe sha po lang. i read the entire thing in one long weekend while house-sitting for a friend and i'm still not sure if it was good or if it just hit all my kinks just right, but either way there's probably something to work with here.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's also a WIP (mostly written, just lacking a solid ending) and it's utter self-indulgent nonsense designed to appeal to no one but me but: i'm very fond of how to deflower your martial brother (wo jia dashixiong naozi you keng). hanahaki disease, fucky shixiong/shidi relations, horrible pun in the title: these are a few of my favourite things.

tagging! @shararan @strandedchesspiece @foxofninetales @sinni-ok-sessi @junemermaid @melodious-tear @thebansacredbanned and anyone else who's interested (no pressure ofc!)

[archivallyfound09]

Something In-Between, pt. 4

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader (f), Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader (f) (no y/n)

Summary: Something old, something new- reader's stuck between two men who look damn good in Navy blue(s).

Warnings: Swearing (as per usual), drinking, potentially some suggestive situations in the future (none here). Everything I write is Mature- read at your own risk.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

"Oh my GOD, you left him on read?!" Your hands were just about to cover Kelli's mouth AND throat as her voice carried through the hanger. Sensing your movements, she quickly stepped back out of your potential grasp.

"Girl, we've all seen him and we've seen the way he looks at you...come ON..." This time you were the faster as you were able to land a sound fist into her shoulder as you stalked past her.

"Shut up, okay?" you hissed, a glare taking over your features, "I should've never told you in the first place." She groaned, rubber her arm and following behind you like a dejected puppy as you made your way over to a group of new contractors.

In your aggravation (mostly at yourself for blabbing about Hangman's text to you this morning), you had failed to notice that a few green flight suits littered the large doorway of the partially constructed hanger. As if on cue, you felt the hair on the back of your neck started to stand up as you felt eyes on you.

Immediately, as you turned your eyes locked with Bradley and you realized quickly, thanks to the smirk on his face, that he had heard your earlier comments about Hangman's texts. You rolled your eyes and saw him raise an eyebrow in amusement.

"What're we doing here?" you heard someone whine and your tunnel vision quickly snapped back and you realized that half of the flight squad was awkwardly standing with Rooster. He had dragged them all out here to spy on me- you inwardly groaned and his audacity after how shitty he had been the last few days. Rooster laughed as he watched you put all the pieces together and then wordlessly walked out of view around the hanger leaving you with a very nosey Kelli.

--------------------

"Bradshaw, it's like the third night this week. I'm not exactly a bar rat and if I have to smell another shitty IPA I'm going to kick someone in the balls."

Rooster's laugh filled his Bronco as he continued driving straight for the destination for the evening: a bar.

To say that you were displeased would have been an understatement. You were tired, you weren't in the mood to drink anything right now, and you were starting to feel bad about not texting Jake back after a full day....

"Trust me, dino," Bradley's voice broke you out of your thoughts, "best burgers in town. I'll even buy and if I see anyone with an IPA, I'll let you kick him in the balls, okay?" You let out a short sigh, giving in and offering Bradley a slight smile as he pulled into a parking lot.

He was quick to hop out and run around to your side, holding the door open with an overly flourished "m'lady," to which you took his hand with an eye roll loud enough you could hear it. He laughed and grabbed the door on your way in, almost pushing you out of the way to be a gentleman. You paused and gave him a quizzical look, but his grin never faltered.

After about a half-hour in a booth, you had downed one drink and were waiting on another. Bradley had asked you about work and you were explaining some of the nonsense that was going on, but you were keenly aware that he was barely looking at you and he certainly wasn't paying attention. It was like he was waiting for someone else...

You played with the wooden skewer that was in your now-empty glass and sighed. Bradley hadn't even noticed you weren't talking any more, still offering up "mhhmm's" and head nods every so often. You pulled out your phone and started scrolling through messages, when you suddenly saw your newly refreshing drink appear in front of you. You smiled politely at your waitress and as she stepped aside, you saw exactly what Bradley had in store for you.

A tall blond in a military grade khaki uniform stepped through the door with a tall blonde who was practically hanging off of him. They were met at the hostess stand and quickly whisked away to the other side of the restaurant, but still vaguely within your view if you schooched a bit over in the booth. You felt a cold heat consume your body and couldn't help the shiver that passed over your skin.

It was now that you felt Bradley's eyes on you. He had a cocksure smug look on his face and you wanted to smack him. He could've just told you that Jake was a player or a jerk or a cheat or whatever adjective person he was. But no, Bradley had to take it one step further and humiliate you in the crossfire. You knew what he was doing- he wanted you to see that Jake wasn't only interested in you and then you'd stop talking to him.

What he wasn't counting on was that you weren't planning on running into his arms.

You had two options: throw the new drink in Bradley's face, call him an insecure piece of shit, make a scene, and storm out of the restaurant.

OR

Pretend like you hadn't seen Jake and that, even if you had, there was nothing there beyond flirting and that this didn't bother you at all.

Panic started to cross Bradley's face as he watched you calculating the situation. You let out a sharp breath and took a long swing of your drink and turned back to the man sitting beside you in the booth.

"You going to pay attention to me now that you've got an audience here, or are we waiting for more of the squad to walk in with their dates?"

-------------

The rest of the meal had passed relatively uneventfully. Bradley had apologized for his childish behavior and his shitty behavior and any other behavior he had exhibited in the last week. He chalked it up to being stressed with the mission and being worried about your honor or whatever.

You knew what this was. Bradley had actual, real live feelings for you and he didn't know what to do about them. So he wanted to buy time until he could figure it out and Jake was expediting the process a bit too quickly for his liking. Bradley left to go pay the bill and you noticed you were absently playing with your phone, the screen lighting up every time you turned it over in your palm.

Suddenly it began to ring.

You looked down and saw the caller ID and answered before the second ring.

"Hey there, looks like we're both down a date." Your eyes darted around a plant as you scooted to the right in the booth and locked eyes with Jake across the room, his phone perched to his ear as he smirked at you. You couldn't help but let out a laugh in noticing that his date must also be in the bathroom.

"That appears to be true..." you raised your eyebrows in amusement, holding his gaze across the dining room. You saw his shoulders shake with no-doubt a small laugh.

"You didn't answer my text. You couldn've told me that I would see you today," you opened your mouth to respond, but that silken velvet voice cut you off, "no need to play hard-to-get sweetheart. I'm willing to do whatever you need me to."

The comment struck something in your chest as you fumbled in holding his gaze, your cheeks starting to turn a bit pink. You realized you could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you knew Bradley would be back at the table soon. Jake patiently waited for a response as you forced your eyes back up to meet his. He offered a sweet smile, but you knew there was something wicked right beneath the surface of it.

"Whatever you need," he repeated low and sultry. You watched him give you a wink and hang up his phone, his date returning to the table. Bradley was shortly next to you, a dial tone loudly echoing in your ear as he approached.

"Everything good?" he asked, suspicious of your lack of a comment about him abandoning you at the table. You practically jumped out of your skin at the break from Jake as your eyes quickly shut and opened, looking up at a concerned Bradley.

"All good- trying to get a call through, but I just keep getting a dial tone...weird," you tried to be an nonchalant as your could, sliding out of the booth and making your way towards the front doors. You wanted to throw a look to Jake, but decided you weren't ready to face whatever look he was about to give you.

Bradley's hand found its way to the small of your back as you stepped outside and towards his car. He opened the passenger side door and then climbed into the driver side, the engine roaring to life under his fingers.

You parked and were waiting for Bradley to drop you off at your car so you could drive home from base when your phone chime went off. You made some lame excuse about it "probably being Kelli or something," and hopped into your car. The screen was bright against the now dark sky.

She's my sister.

Your heart practically damaged itself, throwing itself against your ribcage. You were impressed by Bradley's attempt at being sneaky, but it seemed that Jake was always one step ahead. The photo that then popped up on your phone was all the proof you needed. There was Jake next to a few leggy blondes who all looked like (who you assumed was) mom. You sighed and started your car, heading home.

Jake 1. Bradley 0.

---------

"Hey, it was practically a double date! Bradshaw just didn't have the balls to come over and say hello." The pointed comment shot through the hanger like a knife as the pilots waited for their next briefing to begin. Bradley shot Jake a nasty look. Jake was glad to be able to get a rise.

"I didn't want to interrupt your date," Rooster bit back and Hangman laughed. He had the older pilot hook, line, and sinker.

"You mean my sister, Bradshaw? Hell, she'd probably go out on a date with you. We should've switched last night!" He laughed and it was a scathing noise that made Rooster almost clear a desk and strangle the blond right then and there. Maverick's timing, however, was impeccable.

"Enough," he growled, leaving no room for continued discussion as everyone turned in their seats. "Let's get this over with."

---------

PART 5

A/N: Sorry I've been MIA! I accidentally took the month of October off but I'm here now and I've missed you all!

Taglist: You all are too kind and like my stuff too much! I have too many tags that I actually crash my uploads! Please consider following me and turning on notifications for my posts! Thank you <3

Hangman Taglist: @maverooster @rosiahills22 @ancabifi @multifandom-fangirl4 @dempy @luckyladycreator2 @chlo-feigh @sopheeg @kkrenae @blue-aconite @angirlofallthings22 @rln108 @pricklepearbloom @natasharomanoffisbaebby @loveforaugust @mizzy-pop @lizzie-rdj @mavswife @quackwackfawck @obiwankenobis-lap @icemansgirl1999 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @the-winter-marvel33 @alitav99

@arieltwvdtohamflash @jostyriggslover96 @notanordinaryprincess95 @luckyladycreator2 @mistressslytherin @fogle97 @thebluelioness @littlebadariell @daisyhollyxox @idfkwhyimhere4357 @actorinfluence @lieutenant-rooster-bradshaw @no-pilots-please @imagineyneyjr  @hey-its-kayla-claire @8oopsiedaisy8 @jakexfmc @desert-fern @smoothdogsgirl @bl6o6dy

Rooster Taglist:@alana4610 @athenxt @notanordinaryprincess95 @je-suis-prest-rachel @fogle97 @walkonthewiidside @lunamoonbbyy @newlibrary @n3ssm0nique @and-claudia @sadpetalsstuff @munsonseddieee @ancabifi @londonbeachgirl @multifandom-fangirl4 @kajjaka

@maverooster @justalonelyslytherin @kstevie567 @caprisunzz @nik2blog @blindedbyyourgrace17 @saraandthejets1 @bradshawwannebe @greatbigshiningstar @eminems-skittles @mavericksicybabe @julia-2904 @igotmajordaddyissues @saramaple

@timbradfordsboot @nobody7102 @icemansgirl1999 @caitlyn221b @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @craftytrashprincess @herladyshipxx @pedritobalmando @double-j @arianna-bradshaw @johnnycobra84 @hope-love-equality2 @katieshook02

[asachuu]

Hm…even without many details, this is quite personal, but it’s not like that really matters at this point, so I suppose I could chuck it to the wolves here. Non-fandom, and I swear I’ll draw something this decade, but only after rambling at 3AM.

I was just scrolling through my socials and I stumbled upon a post, under which someone in the comments described a seemingly very rare symptom/experience(?) of a disorder I most likely have almost perfectly, and to my relief (…as relieved as I can be when said symptom is…not fun whatsoever), I saw a few other people sharing their own experiences that all seemed as though they were in the exact same boat as me, and while I’ve already seen other posts I could relate to in the past— I even wrote an entire draft here about a YouTube video with a comments section that almost felt like some kind of veteran’s lobby a month or two ago, but one I’m so glad to have found because I really fucking needed to see it— this specific one I’ve come across was so, so unbelievably accurate, I thought I’d just tear up on the spot, because unless you’ve truly been there, you likely have no idea how it feels to get absolutely nothing from anyone for so long and believing you’re the one in the wrong if you can’t find anything about your issue anywhere, yet others do actually share your experience, even if in the far few.

Unfortunately, the dreadful reality hit me yet again, just like last time, after I spent more than two minutes scrolling through responses— none of these people had any solutions or help. There were only complaints and the same questions I would have, but it’s almost as if for half of them, nothing could be done, and the other half had gotten “help”— as much as the word applies here— due to having far worse outward conditions than myself which were the qualifier for them. Honestly, while last time, this sense of hopelessness did leave me with a harrowing feeling already, the fact of the matter is that since these comments were so much more accurate to what I’ve gone through, and they also have to do with…extremely serious matters that should require intervention, if only it was possible, it felt like direct confirmation that, without sugarcoating it, not only am I certifiably fucked, there’s also a whole group of people just like me who are fucked as well, but there’s simply not enough of us to be taken seriously or even have any real acknowledgment in the medical world, from what I’ve been attempting to search for ages now, and if we don’t have any other disorders, illnesses and whatnot to somehow “prove ourselves”, our form of help will not be the option to safely receive shelter and care from the state, it’ll be whatever we manage to scrape up ourselves if we even make it to that point (…as this issue, for practically everyone in that comment thread including myself, can become a direct threat to our lives), and if it’s going to be safe, that’s just between God and whoever we turn to.

It’s just…dreadful. I don’t know if it’ll be relatable to any stranger out there— not necessarily the specifics, just this…sinking, hopeless feeling of stumbling on your own community who’s just as lost as you, but it’s something I can’t even describe properly.

One extra thing I was going to formerly hide in the tags is that at least getting to see these people clearly existing in the same world as I do had made me want to try actively searching for them, but the thing is, in my case, we really are few, and everything that comes up for me when I attempt going online and taking matters into my own hands is exactly the opposite of what I’m searching for. It’s unfortunately something that gets conflicted with a very common human experience that there’s tons of research and help for, but none of it is anyhow helpful for my case or the cases of the few people out there whom I can relate to, and it’s so, so difficult to just…not even find a bigger community, which is a task beyond my mortal capabilities, but just be understood on a basic level of language in the first place outside of internet search engines, because if there is absolutely no research or readily available evidence of your condition you can show someone to explain things to them, they will never have heard of anything even remotely close to it and will either not believe you, or completely misinterpret you, regardless of what you say.

It’s just exhausting. To only find evidence of a tiny community once every couple of months in a random comments section. To have nothing written down in any record and have even professionals in the field confused, telling you they can’t do anything about it or staring at you as if you were insane. And to top it all off, to find literally no semblance of help other than “no one feels/thinks like that, get over it”, with the extremely rare discussion you sometimes find being mainly just people sadly high-fiving each other from the pits of Hell.