#if i make you feel less alone then GOOD!!!!!!! I AM HERE!!!! I LOVE YOU😭

[gorillaxyz]

i love US because we just go to each others posts and profiles and comment stuff at each other. constant state of "rant rant rant" and "yo check this out." from her and "hi ^_^ hope youre doing well!!! thought youd like this <3" and "omg!!! this is so good. i love how you did that thing." from me. i love being very nice to people

[kissitbttr]

your mafia!toji fic got me thinking so hard abt him😭😭 he’s deffo the type to just buy you sm stuff as an apology but when you don’t forgive him and sleep in a different bedroom mf will come into the room on his knees and beg for you to come to sleep 😩😩 imagine still saying no and him just flipping you onto his shoulders and carrying you to bed 🤭

oh you are absolutely correct!

|

“darling” toji softly calls you, letting out a tired sigh. “i said i was sorry. what am i supposed to do?”

“die” she replies nonchalantly, shoulders shrugging before grabbing a pillow and your favorite blanket off the bed,

he snickers, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. “now, now that would be over dramatic don’t you think? won’t you miss me?”

he almost pisses his pants when she throws him a glare,

“okay. no jokes. got it” he put his hands up in surrender, feeling absolutely terrified at his baby being mad and speaking less than two words to him,

if anyone ever finds out that the most feared and notorious man in the city being tamed by his woman, he would never hear the end of it,

but she is scary. can you blame him?

toji looks over at the designer shoes and bags he just purchased a few hours ago, tucked neatly in the corner. untouched by her.

guess the apology gifts aren’t working,

“i didn’t know that she was coming, i haven’t even talked to her in years! never planned to anyway, you know i only got my eyes for my girl, right?”

she tries so hard not to roll her eyes,

toji had a meeting with one of the cartels at the club earlier that night. and of course, she always goes. it’s where he can always keep an eye on her and refuses to leave her at home all alone because he can’t risk that. also, because she’s his good luck charm. whenever she’s around, deals always goes well,

tonight was an exception though,

all was well until a certain person decided to crash. his old fling. one before he met his precious girlfriend. the red haired thought that it would be fun to press her fake ass tits against toji,

y/n was shocked to say at least. she didn’t say anything but her face spoke thousand words. toji could see that. throwing daggers at the bitch, corner of her lips quirk into a form of disgust.

and the worst part was? toji didn’t do anything about it! can you believe that asshole?!

something about being absolutely unprofessional if he was ever to push her off and it ticked y/n to the fucking bone so she decided to ignore him the rest of the night,

toji feels defeated when she chooses not to respond, simply just taking her stuff. he crouches lightly to look at her pretty face clearly. “baby… can you please look at me? I can’t stand seeing you mad. i’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you”

if it was any circumstances, sure she would melt and jump in his arms. but tonight is different. how could he?

she looks up at him and whisper “fuck. you” before turning around angrily and walk out of the door to go sleep on the guest room,

toji groans, the heel of his palms pressing against his eyes. she has always been so stubborn. too fucking stubborn. exactly why he had to get rejected seven times before she accepted his date.

what? he needed to get humbled, so she gave him that.

he contemplate for a while whether or not he should let her be or not. then he chooses the latter. it would probably be best if he let her cool off some steam for a while, he doesn’t want to do any more damage or make her feel more annoyed by his presence,

bet. not even ten minutes later, he feels like losing his mind without her here.

“fuck this shit” he mutters, getting up from the bed. rubbing his face furiously before stomping towards the other side of the room,

he walks in without knocking, ready to say what he needs to say again. yet he stops. heart clenching at the sight of his girl curled up in bed, back facing him.

“love?” he slowly walks over to her laying figure,

“go away” she speaks. now in a softer tone

“please” he begs, walking around the bed and catching a glimpse of her playing with her pink manicured hands. “sweetheart. I’m sorry” he repeats, going down to her eye level before letting his hand moves to rest on her bare thigh. he’s internally relieved when she doesn’t push him off,

he sighs when she’s not looking at him, seemingly only focused on the nails that she had gotten done a week ago.

“i should’ve pushed her off. shouldn’t let her touch me like that. hell, i shouldn’t even let her breathe near me. i know that” he realizes his mistake. “i didn’t even think about what my girl needed. i was being a horrible boyfriend”

no answer,

he sighs again, refusing to look away from her pretty eyes,

“baby—��

“i heard you the first time. leave. and close the door”

toji is taken aback. fuck. she really is mad at him.

“you don’t mean that”

“uhm, yes i do” she retorts in an obvious tone, sassily raising her eyebrow before scooting a bit further from him. she doesn’t realize this but it makes his heart break,

“princess, i swear-“

“go call that girl back to keep you company. let that fucking bitch sleep by your side” she mutters, looking at the tv instead of him,

he can’t take this anymore,

“you know what? that’s it” toji had enough, he will not be sleeping alone and neither will she. standing up on his feet, his hands reach out to circle around her ankles before tugging her body towards him causing her to yelp,

“toji! what the fuck are you doing-oh!” her voice gets cut off the moment he pulls her body up like she weighs nothing. throwing her over his shoulder. “put me down!” her fists start to hitting his back—as if they’re actually hurting him— legs swinging back and forth

“nope” he answers, keeping a firm grip around her waist before swatting her ass, locking the guest room behind him and walking back to their shared one. “you’re driving me crazy, woman—not saying that i hate it, but i’m pretty fucking beat tonight and we are going to sleep together. so stop fighting me”

she huffs, admitting defeat and letting him carry to the bed. “fuck you, toji”

he smirks at that. “oh i will, baby”

[mellowwillowy]

Omg i love your work😭😭 especially Yulian he's crazy but he's sooo sweet🥹 and you write him so well fr

I was wondering how'd he react if his darling decides that they wanna break up with him / get a divorce,, or they start to feel like he's hiding something from them which causes them to doubt him. But I feel like he would 100% gastlight them first.

Chances of divorce in Utopia is 0 honey :)

But let's talk about Dystopia.

Yan! Lawyer Husband - GN Spouse Reader

Yes, Yulian will corner the fuck out of you mentally as much as he hates it. He should have picked up on the signs earlier and yet he paid no mind to it until you exploded, again.

The reason was simple, you doubted him.

It all started from a suspicion of his absence, the rumors circulating around him and the voice in your head yelling you to leave him.

'That man is no good! Leave him before it's too late again!'

"Where were you dear?"

"Duty called dear. I'm sorry for leaving you alone for a long time yeah?"

"I asked everyone around and they told me that you were absent for the 5 days. Where were you if you were not in the court nor your office?"

Yulian didn't expect you to bother questioning around, mentally adding another note to bribe everyone next time.

"I was visiting another place, the client did not like leaving his curb so I had to visit him myself, I'm sorry I didn't notify you earlier dear."

Yulian's hand creeped into your cheek, caressing it gently while giving you an apologetic smile. The smile that always makes you shrug all your doubts and worries away.

But not today.

"This is not the first time this has happened, Yulian."

Yulian jolted. You were glaring at him. The face that he rarely sees from you, the face that he never expected to see from you. You.

"Dear?"

'You know right? This man right here is nothing but a swindler!'

"Why do you always lie to me?"

'How many secrets has he hidden from you? Better yet, why is he keeping you in the dark?'

"Always, always, always lying. I had enough of you, Yulian. This is not the first I have confronted you and this is not the first out of your many lies that I haven't confronted you about."

'Stay away from him.'

"I want a divorce."

'Run.'

"Di... vorce?"

Yulian's face darkened. A face you had never seen before.

"Divorce?"

"Yes."

'Run!'

Yulian sat down, his eyes traveling toward anywhere but you. He took in a shaky breath before exhaling it in fury. No, it was not directed at you. It was directed at himself for being slow and dumb. A fool no less.

"I'll have Aava packed my stuffs today. I will hand you the papers for you to sign later." You paid no mind to his slumped figure, leaving him.

"No..." Yulian stopped you in your track, his hand holding your wrist tightly. "Don't leave me alone again."

"Is it not supposed to be directed at you instead?"

Yulian winced. You were right but he was right as well. What should he do? What should he do?

What he should do.

"Dear..." Yulian stood up to his feet, "don't you think you are being a bit too hasty?"

"Wha-?"

"Over something so menial," he knew he shouldn't word it like that, "I was trying my best you know? I tried my best to wrap up everything quickly but I just can't not attend to duties such as this."

He was driving you into the corner again.

"If this is the same word game you are playing with me then it's not working on me anymore."

"No, this is the truth we are talking about," Yulian's hand cupped your cheek, "I know you have it hard, but I too, am troubled from it. Do you perhaps view me as an irrespobsible man who leaves his spouse because he feels like it?"

What?

'Run, leave him, just leave him!'

"Have you always viewed me like that dear? I can't fathom how you... thought of me like that even just for the slightest."

Was it not supposed to be the other way around?

"You, you are the one who always thinks of me like that!"

"How could you even say that?"

How could you even say that to me then?

'Stop listening to him!'

Yulian's hands clasped your ears, his face close to yours.

"How could you even think of something so shallow?"

'ADAMMMMMMM!!!!'

"Have you never even considered my love to be real just even for once?"

You don't feel like thinking anymore. You don't feel like listening to them both anymore.

"Don't worry dear, I'll make sure to ease those doubts away. Just listen to me and everything will be alright."

'Do----'

Yes, that sounds just right. Right?

"How about you take those pills first?"

Yes, they always calm you down.

[teddybeartoji]

(If you are uncomfortable with period mentions plz feel free to delete this 🙈)

Thoughts on snow leopard!gojo when you on your period (I am pmsing and I need someone to comfort me.)

snow leopard!gojo would be sooo worried about you!! One minute you are fine and now you have the smell of blood is on youuu!!! Poor baby think you are hurt or injured and even when you reassure him it’s just your period he’s still worried especially when you show other symptoms (like throwing, headaches, being sensitive and crying)

He would sooo overprotective and clingy he would never let you outside alone always have to be by your side holding or wrapping his tail around you.

He would love to take care of you!! He would massage your shoulders or knead your tummy, also when they are injured cats lick their wounds so I do see him going down on you if you let him it also helps with cramps.

He loves to cuddle you he lie on top of you and he’s so big and warm and fluffy And when you sleep he would be right next to you extra alert and “on the look out” if anyone tries to hurt you.

He holds you soo tight tail wrapped around your thigh making sure you are safe and protected.

(I’m sorry that this so long I got carried away 🙈😭)

NONNIEEEE🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺HE WOULD BE SOOOOOSO WORRIED🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 he just wants to make you feel better, make you feel good!!!!!!! he's gonna sit with you the whole entire time, he just refuses to leave your side. he's literally sitting with you in the bathroom, he's cuddling with you (and on top of you bc he's so warm and it feels so good when he rests his head on your tummy). and the tail!!!!!! yess!!!! he always has it around your thighs bc he loves your thighs!!!!!!!! also he follows you around like a little lovesick kitty and he literally just looks like this emoji🥺🥺🥺🥺 the entire time. he's baby.

now now now....... the licking the wounds thing.... nonnie... you really did something here🥴🥴🥴🥴 that's exactly how he's gonna convince you too btw. he's gonna tell you about how it's his way of healing you. and it works like magic!!!!!! he does it slowly, he wants you to forget all about the pain so he's extra focused. he's kissing your folds just like he'd kiss you, he's giving her smooches and small kitten licks while keeping his eyes on you. he's gently pawing at your thighs and your waist, he's kneading your skin and it's all just so good. he can smell your arousal mixing with the blood and he's getting dizzy himself, too.

he can't take his eyes off of you, he needs to make sure that you're enjoying it, that you're feeling good!!!!! he fucking purrs as he eats you out and the vibrations feel heavenly. he has your back arching in no time, your hands tug on his white roots and his own eyes are rolling back into his head.

also. despite the fact that he's going slow, he's still a messy eater!!!!! so sometimes... he gets a little blood in his perfectly white hair but he literally couldn't care any less. (he loves it. he thinks of it as your way of marking him. no matter whether it's intentional or not.)

after you cum in his mouth and he has swallowed every drop of you, he draws you a hot bath and he carries you into the bathroom himself. his entire lower half of his face is covered in blood, it's dripping from his chin but you're still his main priority. you try to tease him for it but you're just too tired, so you just end up brushing against his skin, dirtying yourself with your own blood.

he takes your finger in his hand and raises it to his mouth. he licks you clean while keeping eye-contact, and takes it back out with a loud pop. he's sure he can smell another fresh wave of pure arousal pooling between your legs but he doesn't want to push you or your body too far. so he presses a very gentle kiss to your nose before helping you into the tub.

he climbs in with you and he washes your hair. he washes your body with the sweetest motions, he rubs your shoulders and your tummy, your thighs and your sides. he leaves kisses on your jaw and neck. he whispers praise and pure love into your ears and he loves to feel you melting into him.

after you've gained some of your energy back, you help clean him up too. you wipe the blood from his marble skin anf then from his hair and he just stares at you with hearts in his eyes<3333333 wahhh nonnie he's the best boyfriend in the world he's so caring and so sweet:((((((( i luv him:((((

[scekrex]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well!!!

I just read your Adam x Lucifer’s son fic and I loved it a lot more than I thought I would going in (that sounded really backhanded but I definitely don’t mean it that way 😭)

I was thinking of a part 2 that takes place literally just a few minutes after the 1st, Lucifer basically gave Adam a few… let’s say corrective love taps. And now the reader is patching up his now bruised face. Reader try’s to make Adam feel better by complimenting him and flirting with him. (I know damn well Adam is such a hoe for genuine affection like-)

Cut to Lucifer sitting across the room eyeing you both, now realizing that his son is in love with THE FIRST MAN and Adam is ALSO in love with his son. To put it simply, he is kinda freaking out. He now refuses to leave them alone together for the rest of the day, and also the unseeable future! He starts listing the reasons why the Reader should very much not being dating Adam. (Would be funny if he also mentioned the age gap as if he didn’t date a newly born woman as a who knows how old Angel LMAO) And Adam is like “Bitch, I’m am literally right the fuck here.”

Lucifer is just really activating his overprotective dad mode. That is… until Charlie really needs his help with something for the hotel. He eventually (albeit reluctantly) agrees to leave to help because he thinks “I’ll be quick, it’s just what? 5 minutes? And I’ll be in the room just a few doors down!”

He leaves and Adam, who for some motherfucking reason, can’t stop thinking about all the things Lucifer said to you about him and starts thinking ‘Maybe he’s right’ and starts just getting in his head about it

Reader finishes up patching his face and can tell he’s thinking about what Luci said. He reassures him that he loves no one else but Adam and that what his dad thinks is irrelevant. Reader gives Adam a kiss before asking. “Anyways, you ready to go?”

“The fuck you mean? Go where?

“I mean… how else are we going to finish what we started?”

And the was one of the first times the reader managed to make Adam flustered. Needless to say, Adam and the reader weren’t there when Lucifer returned. Much to Lucifer’s anger.

Nah man ur good, I wasn't the biggest fan at first too but y'know, it's kinda cute. Also u didn't specify anything about Reader and Adam having sex so I kept this SFW, my inbox is temporarily closed but if ya want a sequel that's basically just smut, lemme know once my inbox is open again!

Part 1

My lover's the sunlight to keep the Goddess on my side

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language

note: not beta read bc fuck you

“Was that really necessary, dad?” you grumbled as you pressed a ball of cotton against Adam’s lip - Adam’s bleeding lip. Lucifer hadn't been too fond of the view he had been greeted with when entering the room. The brunette’s bottom lip was split open, his nose was bleeding and his eye was slowly turning black again. Adam had just recovered from the stabbing injuries Niffty had caused and now he was covered in bleeding wounds once again. A thing that surely did surprise you and that you wanted to look deeper into once the situation was less tense, was the fact that Adam’s blood was still golden. His blood had remained pure and angelic and while you partly understood why, it did make you curious.

Adam hissed in pain as your fingers gently traced along his nose, checking if it was just bleeding or if it was broken - Adam was lucky because your father had actually managed to break the former angel’s nose.

Lucifer was sitting on an armchair across the room, watching the gentle touches his son offered Adam, he didn’t like that they got along and he hated that they seemed so in love, so all over each other. Lucifer knew Adam, well that wasn’t entirely true. Lucifer had known Adam once, back in Eden when everything had been so new and exciting for pretty much everybody. Back then Adam had been a kind and loving soul, but that soul was no longer comparable to the man that was sitting on his son’s bed, bleeding divine blood onto the covers while his son basically sat in Adam’s lap and took care of the injuries.

“Yes, it was necessary, someone needed to teach him a lesson,” Lucifer answered your question, sounding quite bitter. And partly you were able to understand your father, he had history with Adam - history that did not end well at all but the man whose lap you were sitting on seemed almost innocent. You were very aware that Adam was the last person to describe as innocent and sweet though.

“My poor angel,” you hummed as you leaned in a little closer, carefully stopping the bleeding of Adam’s nose before inspecting the broken bone a little closer - it was nothing you couldn’t fix, that was for sure. It would heal just fine, it just needed time. With gentle hands you cupped Adam’s face and kissed his stubbled chin, causing the brunette to shiver lightly. Adam was not used to gentle touches, yes, he had been spending quite some time with you ever since his people had left him behind, but that didn’t mean he got used to affectionate touches like those you offered him - that didn’t mean he disliked them, quite the opposite was the case, he lived for your gentle touches and soft words. You somehow always found something to praise the brunette for.

Adam hummed in agreement, nodding his head lightly to underline the sound. “Don’t you worry, I’ll fix you up in no time,” you added, satisfied that there was no more blood dripping from Adam’s nose.

Lucifer growled from where he was sitting, not pleased with how close you were to Adam’s face - well, actually he wasn’t pleased that you were close to Adam at all. You shot your father a glare over the brunette’s shoulder. “You’re responsible for his injuries so shut up,” you hissed at the blonde king.

The king of Hell simply rolled his eyes at your words, “Yeah, well you shouldn’t be dating Adam - date whoever you want, I don’t care if they’re female, non-binary or male, just don’t date him.” Lucifer pointed towards Adam who seemed not very happy about how lowly Lucifer spoke about him. Sure, they had their issues with each other, but why was it such a big deal to the blonde that the first man and the prince of Hell had a thing for each other?

“Y’know, first of all he’s a maniac, he literally used to kill our people,” Lucifer started to list reasons why you should stay away from the brunette, you could only raise an eyebrow at your father, “Oh our people? The people you ignored for only God knows how long? Those people you’re supposed to rule but instead of doing so you simply let them rot?” You felt how the first man’s hands came to rest on your hips, gently patting them signaling you that he liked your answer. Lucifer huffed.

“Okay what about the fact that he’s manipulative and controlling?” The blonde king tried again, nodding his head towards Adam. “Dad,” you said, looking at Lucifer, you seemed quite unimpressed by his words, “Mom’s book is trash, Adam was told to keep Lilith on a leash, he was supposed to look out for her and stop her from being absolutely self destructive and reckless.”

The blonde king tried it yet again, his problem was not that Adam was a man, his problem was that Adam was Adam, “Okay but what about the age gap? He’s like so much older than you are, sweety,” you cringed at the nickname your father gave you and playfully slapped Adam’s chest as you felt a chuckle vibrating through his body. “Says the guy who fucked the first woman a couple days after her fucking creation,” Adam huffed, turning his head around to face Lucifer.

The short king was about to argue yet again, but Charlie interrupted him by opening the door without knocking, something that was very unlike her since she valued privacy. Your sister’s eyes watched you and Adam for a moment, she shot you a quick, reassuring smile before heading towards your father, who was still sitting in that stupid armchair, observing you and Adam like the both of you were little children.

“I’m sorry for bursting in without knocking,” Charlie apoligzed, sounding quite stressed about whatever was going on elsewhere in the hotel, it wasn’t that you cared all that much. Not when you were seated in Adam’s lap and Charlie was a great distraction for Lucifer’s sharp eyes. “Don’t sweat it, dollface,” Adam simply responded, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke, “You’re not the fucking first, seems to be a fucking family issue you have there.” Your sister spun around in confusion, frowning at the first man who simply rested his chin on your head and grinned at her. “Uh… yeah… no, what I came here for is actually,” the blonde girl turned back towards the king of Hell, “Dad, I really need your help.”

Lucifer shook his head, nodding towards you and Adam, “I can't leave them alone sweety.” Charlie glanced over at how you were seated in Adam's lap, patching up the wounds your father had caused. The blonde girl sighed, then returned her attention to Lucifer who was still watching you and the brunette very closely. “It's urgent, Valentino-” at the name of the pimp Lucifer perked up, he knew Valentino meant no good and the fact that Charlie was mentioning him in context with the fact that she needed his help with something only made it worse in his eyes. “I think I can spare a few minutes to deal with Valentino,” Lucifer grumbled, not exactly happy leaving you with Adam, yet he knew his daughter wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

He got up from the armchair, twirled his cane and tapped it on the floor once it was right side up again. “Let's make this quick.”

You watched as your father and your sister left the room to deal with said Valentino problem. As soon as the door fell shut you stopped hiding the grin and looked up at Adam, who seemed to be thinking about something - most likely all the harsh words your father had said. A small sigh left you as you cupped Adam's face once again, looking deeply into struggling golden eyes. “Don't take his words to heart he's… a little overprotective when it comes to his youngest son,” you hummed at Adam, the grin on your lips turned into a soft smile as you caressed Adam's cheek with your thumb. “Besides, we have to get going before he comes back.”

The brunette frowned at your words, his concern about all the things Lucifer had said was replaced by confusion, “Get going? Where the fuck do you wanna go?” You glanced to the door, then back at Adam. The first man followed your eyes and the confusion cleared up rather quickly. “Somewhere where we can continue what we started without dad interrupting us.”

-

When Lucifer returned to your room only five minutes later the room was empty. Nothing had changed except for the fact that Adam was no longer sitting on your bed with you in his lap. Lucifer cursed under his breath and just as he was about to go seek for you and the first man, he heard moans coming from one of the other rooms, those soft sounds of pleasure caused the devil to stop in his tracks immediately.

The moans echoing through the hotel came from Adam.

[aemondloverr]

𝐓𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜

Pairing: Marc w/a little Steven+Jake X FemReader

Synopsis: Marc is your boyfriend of 3 years. You started slow the first year and he had lots of boundaries but he was trying. You know he’s been hurt before. However the second year, he started to pull away. Your relationship is getting weaker, and it seems like all he thinks about is Layla, his ex wife.

Contents: Angst, arguing, slightly drunk!Reader, jealous reader.

Wc: 2.1k ish

Proof read? Y’all know me. Hell naww (if there’s mistakes I’m sorry😔)

AN: Ngl, some of the lines Lowkey sound cringe to me but this is my first time writing angst so…😭

Every other night, Marc said her name in his sleep. “Layla..” he’d mumble.

You knew of his sleeping issues, his nightmares, his past with her. He still missed her and you couldn't bear the thought that he missed her more than he loved you.

As your relationship went on, it seemed like he was…less there, distant;Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Spacing out for long periods of time, not paying attention to what you're saying, or just tuning you out and ignoring you. He argued with you more frequently, not even over reasonable things. He’d say he was going out for work stuff and you knew, you had a gut feeling that he was lying to you. Tonight was no different.

*****

It was around 5 pm and it was already starting to get dark so you figured it was a good idea to get started on dinner. Just as you walked into the kitchen from the couch, Marc came out of your shared bedroom, dressed with a coat and hat on. It seemed like he was rushing, eager to leave the house.

Marc slipped on his boots and grabbed a small bag but as he unlocked the door, you turned around and interrupted him.

“Where are you going…?”

“Out. I have stuff to take care of.” His voice was barely audible but you could tell his tone was dismissive

“Please just be back before 8…okay? I wanna have dinner with you” for once, you added in your head

He looks at you but doesn’t say anything and steps out the door, slamming it shut. Taking a deep breath you get started on cooking, washing the vegetables to make his favorite vegan dish.

Steven and Jake on the other hand argue with Marc in the reflection of the glass in the window.

“You really need to listen to her…You don't want this to turn out how it did with-” Marc cuts him off abruptly.

“We don't talk about her. You know that.”

“But Steven is right and you know it marc…” Jake states

“Forget it mate…”

*****

5pm quickly became 7 and dinner was almost done. By 7:30, you were in the bedroom, changing into a dress you knew was Marc's favorite. It was form fitting and flattering to both your figure and complexion. You did your eye make up and a pretty lip combo and went to plate the food, setting out a bottle of wine with glasses on the table.

Half an hour later, it's 8 and he's still not here. Maybe it'll be different this time… you thought. But you waited there, sitting pretty in your long dress drinking wine and eating dinner. Alone. His food is getting cold.

10 pm. Still not here. You’re almost halfway through the bottle. At first you thought your relationship was perfect. How could you be so wrong? Why was he never there? Did he even love you anymore? Your mind starts to spiral as you become slightly intoxicated. Your overthinking always worried you.

You sat in the dark of the room, one leg crossed over the other, ruined mascara mixed with tears dried on your face. You didn’t even bother to pour wine into the glass anymore and just drank straight from the bottle. Every time you took a sip, the wine dripped down your chin and neck and stained your pretty dress. You read the clock. 12 am. Tears begin to pool your eyes again, but just then, The door unlocks. Marc opens the door to your shared apartment. Or Steven. Or jake. One of the three. He hoped that you were sleeping. When he saw that the room was seemingly dark and empty, he let out a breath of relief at the silence.

You interrupt the silence with your strained, shaky voice. “You’re late” you take another sip from the bottle slouched in a soft armchair. You knew it was Marc by the way he stayed silent. His breath hitched, slightly frightened by your sudden words and he quickly closed the door behind him.

“I know. I had to take care of something…” he mutters

“It’s 12 in the morning, Marc.” you reply sternly

Marcs mouth started to form an argument, but he snapped it shut. He took a deep breath, calming himself.

“I know…I'm sorry” he said inconsiderately

It took him a few seconds to notice the bottle of wine in your hand as his eyes adjusted to the dark.

“Have you been drinking…?”

You make a snarky remark “No shit. And you’re not fucking sorry. I told you to be home before 8. What the fuck Marc??” You took another large sip from the bottle.

Marc's jaw clenched as he sighed.

“I already said I'm sorry, what more do you want?!” he raised his tone at you.

He took the bottle from your hand and set it down on the table, looking down at you and your bloodshot eyes.

“Give it back” you reach for the bottle but he moves it away.

“You need to stop drinking-”

You cut him off with your words “What is wrong with you. You’re never here anymore. Ever.” You get up and snatch it from him.

Marc couldn't help but bristle at your words. You were always so stubborn. But it's because you loved him. You just wanted him to love you the same way he did before. He tried to hold in anger he felt building.

“Can we talk about this later? You're drunk”

“No, we're talking about it now. I can’t do this anymore Marc”

Marc rolled his eyes, thinking about how many times you’d said this before. He thought about the other times you were this close to actually breaking up with him…only for your words to turn into empty threats. He didn't want to get into a pointless argument this late at night.

“You’re being unreasonable and you're not in your right mind-” he raised his voice even louder than before

“I am not being unreasonable. Don’t you dare…”

Marc was fuming at this point. He took a step towards you until he was inches away from your face, smelling the wine on your breath. He wanted to scream and lash out at you, but he didn’t want to show you had an effect of him. After you showed him what real, unburdening, true, love looks like and he got scared. He got scared and pulled away. He gave you a cold shoulder that you didn't deserve.

Steven tries to calm him down from the mirror across the room. “Don’t say anything you’re gonna regret mate…” He does the exact opposite.

“You're here because you can't be anywhere else. I do everything I can for this relationship, and it's never enough for you.”

Scoffing in disbelief at his lie, you yell back. “You don’t do shit for me! I say I love you and you can’t even say it back anymore. You do NOT get to say you care!”

Now that was a low blow.

You had your finger poking right at his chest. Steven winces at your comment in the reflection. “I mean it’s true innit…Tried to tell you didn’t I?…You’re on your own now Marc.”

“Yea…you really did it this time” Jake comments too.

You tear up in frustration and hurt. Everything you've been feeling for the past few weeks is surfacing. Marc's lips tighten at the mention of it and he takes a sip out of the bottle he took from you. He didn’t think he’d have to hear that again and he knew you were right but he wouldn’t admit.

“You know why I don’t say it…”

He felt guilty, taking a step away. He didnt wanna look down at you as you looked up at him with those drunken, tear-stained eyes.

“Why?? It's because you still love Layla right?!”

Now that was a different kind of low blow. His body tensed at the mention of her name.

“Don’t you dare say her name…You know it's not that simple!! You don’t get to just throw that in my face every chance you get-”

“Yes it is,” you say, your lip quivering. You wanted to cry even more “all you do is think of her. You say her name in your sleep Marc!” He shouldn’t have been so quick to admit it, but something about the way you were looking up at him, the pain in your eyes, and the fact you were still slightly drunk made him soft. He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt as he looked at you, knowing he was the cause of your hurt.

“It’s a simple question. Do you love me or not”

"Of course I love you…But that doesn't mean I'm not still heartbroken over Layla. I mean, she was my wife for Gods sake.”

“That doesn’t justify your shitty so-called ‘love’. I feel like I'm losing you…” Your tears turn black as they run through your mascara and down your face.

“I miss you...” You hesitantly grab his hands and hold them firmly in yours.

He thinks it's better to turn away and not get hurt by losing you than to be vulnerable, to take that risk again.

“It never used to be like this…before, you were there. What happened to us…?”

He pauses for a moment, tearing up. You look him in the eyes but he looks down at his feet. He wanted to prevaricate but that would only make things worse.

“I’m afraid of commitment, okay... I’m afraid to fall in love, that if I let myself feel that way again, things would end up the way they did when I was with layla”

“Why couldn't you just tell me that…? We could’ve handled it together”

“I.. thought that if I told you, you wouldn’t wanna be with me anymore. I was…”

He ran a hand through his hair, appearing stressed. He was being vulnerable with you and he wasn’t used to that…opening up to people, especially about Layla. He was really soft at heart and he’s not gonna let anyone catch him being soft…except you of course.

“I didn’t want to scare you away because I really do love you…I- It was stupid, but I promise…I promise I won’t push you away again, I’ll stop leaving, I’ll do anything…I love you”

He puts a hand on your cheek and brushes your messy hair off of your face. Tears swell in his eyes, bringing his forehead to yours. You dont reply and the two of you sit in silence for a few moments, savoring the feeling of being with him again;The way he holds you, just like way he used to before. But you can’t let it go that quickly.

“Just because you said a few words doesn't mean I can just forgive you like that…” You pull away from him and look away. “Sleep on the couch tonight please.” you walk away slowly without another word, taking his hand off of your cheek.

He doesn’t say anything more because he doesn’t want to argue, especially when you're half drunk and you both felt bad enough as it was

You go your separate ways to the couch and the bed. He stares out of the window at the moon, silently cursing Konshu in his mind, feeling the guilt of his absence. You curl up under the sheets in your wine-stained dress, no longer crying, but thinking about if he’s really going to change. Or will it just be an empty promise…

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed ittt. BTWW I’ve been SO obsessed with hotd so I definitely will be posting some Cregan fics😏🙏🏾 As always like and reblog to show supporttt

[laura1633]

Not the ex-sex anon but this sounds good "are they both still in love with each other but too afraid to admit it?" Mostly because I cannot see them separated 😭

I am the same, I struggle to write them not getting a happy ending together 🥺 I just want them both happy!

I will probably write a filthy ex-sex story at some point but for now here is a rough little drabble of Max and Charles hooking up as ex's

Max buries his face into the pillows and lets the bedding swallow up most of his moans. He thought that having Charles fuck him from behind would make this all easier. That not having to look into Charles’ eyes or be tempted to kiss him or touch him would somehow make this feel more like what it is supposed to be - a casual fuck. 

But Max knows now that there is no such thing as a casual fuck with an ex. Or at least not with an ex you are still in love with. 

Physically it feels just as good as it always did. Charles always did know how to get him off. It’s not fast and furious, it’s long slow deep thrusts that keep Max’s eyes rolling into the back of his head and his body arching up for more. Even the feel of the Monegasque’s dick is familiar. Big enough that Max’s muscles have to work for it but not so big it hurts. 

It’s not all familiar though. Charles’ grip around Max’s cock feels different as he starts to jerk him off. The Monegasque’s hand works off rhythm to the snap of his hips. The dual tempo feels so fucking good that Max wants to cry, except it’s not just being brought to orgasm and spilling all over the bed beneath him that is bringing tears to the Dutchman’s eyes. It’s the fact that he can’t help but wonder how Charles has perfected this move, whether it’s with someone they know, whether Charles loved them, whether they were better than Max. 

“Fuck” Charles grips hold of Max’s hips and holds him steady as he comes inside him. Just like the old days. And Max knows he should have insisted on using a condom but he’s missed the feel of Charles’ come trickling down his thighs. In the back of his mind he stupidly re-assured himself that Charles wouldn’t have been with anyone else, now he’s not so sure. 

“I should go” Charles pulls out and gets dressed in almost record time. 

Naively Max hoped he would at least get the whole night. Then again, sleeping tangled up together and then parting ways in the morning would probably hurt even more. 

Max mumbles against the pillow but can’t bring himself to look back at Charles as the Monegasque makes his way out of the hotel room.  It’s best that Charles thinks of this night and remembers how willingly Max dropped to his knees and how he spread himself open and begged for more. It’s best Charles doesn’t see Max’s tears rolling down his face and sniffling to stop his nose running. 

The door clicks shut and Max rolls himself on to his back. It’s worse now. Now he’s got the taste of Charles on his lips and is left alone to savour it. The hard work he has put in over the last couple years to try and forget how good it was to be with the Monegasque has been eroded in less than an hour.

Deep down he knows he was never over Charles. Charles is the other half of him. So much so that he hasn’t felt like a full person since the break-up.

The Dutchman startles at the knocking at the door. His breath catches in his chest but he tries not to let his mind race ahead. As he tentatively gets up and peers through the peephole his heart all but jumps out of his chest and he’s swinging the door open before he’s even considered the fact he’s still naked and marked up with scratches and bites and come. 

“Charles?”

Max whimpers as Charles comes crashing into him. The Monegasque grabs hold of him and kicks the door closed as their lips slam together. It’s not like earlier in the night when they’d been hesitant and unsure if kissing was a good idea, this is Charles kissing him so fully and completely just like he always used to. Max is so overwhelmed and shocked he realises he’s not even kissing back.

“You don’t want - “ Charles pulls back.

“I want” Max manages to stutter as he grabs hold of Charles and drags him back down on to the bed. The Dutchman’s hands clasp at the Monegasque’s top fully intent on never letting Charles go again as he hears the words from Charles that he has been waiting to hear for two years now. 

“I still love you” 

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

There is no chance I will finish this episode tonight because tomorrow is a work day and I must sleep, but I was PROMISED a scene with Madam Zhang and Minglan just now and I have no self-control 😔

***

Aww, cutiepie 🖤

***

NOOOOO, GU TINGYE TURNED HIM INTO LUNCH 😭

***

LMAO, idiot, you are sitting alone in the middle of the forest right in his line of sight and he's obviously looking for you.

What do you think looking away is going to do?

***

Congratulations on the baby but condolences on having to fuck your worthless husband to get there 😔

***

OH MY GOD.

KILL ALL MEN.

OK, Tingye, Changbai and Shitou can stay, but to the dumpster with the rest of them.

***

LMAO, drag him, Changbai.

I also feel like he is making problems where there shouldn't be any.

Just get rid of the damn concubine yourself, OMG, and continue fucking your legitimate wife in peace.

But no, he wants the dramatics.

***

LMAOOOOO, GIRL, HE IS YOUR HUSBAND!! 😅😅

I AM THINKING HE IS GOING TO BE A DIRECT PARTICIPANT!

***

They are not being subtle at all, lol 🤣🤣

We get it, okay, a baby is coming to the Gu family!

***

Oh, fuck off.

It's about time somebody told you to shut up.

And the worst thing is, there is no point to her ugly scheming and backstabbing. Her son is useless and can't function on any level, what is he going to do with a noble title even if he was to inherit it? He would run the entire family into the ground within a few years. If she just quit even now, both she and her son and all their descendants could live in wealth and splendour for who knows how long, but no. She is rotten to the core and just can't help herself.

***

He is Sheng Hong the Second.

So weak and self-serving. He doesn't deserve his magnificent wife.

***

She's finally being honest and if he has any brains he should listen and reassure her.

The truth is, as a woman, she is so limited and reliant on his whims. How can she trust him? He is asking too much of her too soon.

***

OMG, set your ego down for five minutes, please.

She's a smart woman, of course she is. She's just trying to survive.

***

Oh, shut the fuck up.

Right now, he reminds me of those men who run around screaming, "There is no gender discrimination anymore! Men have it worse!"

He's usually so smart and now he's letting his insecurity get the better of him.

***

Drag him, Minglan.

***

Oh, ffs.

Is he seriously bringing this up again? I thought he was better than that.

***

I don't know about her, but you are seriously starting to get on my nerves.

***

She should have smacked him harder. WTF was that entire scene, in front of other people, no less.

***

I'm so tired 😑😑

***

LMFAO

Definitely my favourite couple here.

They should give me a drama with just Xiaotao and Shitou being up to no good and stupid in love. And make it a comedy.

***

Aww, TGCF flashbacks 🦋🌹

Luckily, Hua Cheng is a ghost and therefore already dead, so life is already over and done with and the banquet can now truly be neverending with his immortal god of a husband.

***

LMAO, yes, Tingye, when are you going back to your wife's room?

You're messing with his love life too because Xiaotao is now mad at you both 🤣🤣

I love them so much 🖤

***

Empress Dowager gets on my very last nerve.

***

Oh, ffs.

Haven't we all already agreed that you should shut up forever?

***

Oh, Tingye 😔

At least this will (hopefully) buy you some pampering from Minglan.

[rocketinthesky]

hey! in case if no one asked for norapinto in the ask game yet, here i am!! i know it's like a budding ship, but i really enjoyed your takes on the other ships as well, and i'm curious if you have some lingering thoughts about them? aaand if i could be greedy, i'd ask for gax as well, since i don't really know much about that pairing (yet) but you seem to enjoy them, so i might came to the right place? :D

ALSO! also thank you so much for sharing my silly little fic? it means a whole lot to me! 😭 ♥

Hello! Ty for mentioning two of my otps lmaoskjdjf (thank YOU for writing norapinto dude we need more content of them ugh thanks for contributing! <3)

As for the ask game i realise i highkey forgot to label the last two asks with the compel factor thing so i’ll do that this time hehe i’ll try to keep my ramblings short

Norapinto: makes sense and compels me very much

I mean yea franco JUST entered the grid and has been in like three races but we already have a LOT to work with for these two.

The reveal that Lando was the first one to text him at when the news broke that Franco was joining the grid?? CMON. Like. Lando?! Wtf?! That’s so fucking sweet. We overlook how much of a sweet guy Lando is and the fact that he was being thoughtful for this rookie who was joining in less than ideal circumstances, immediately doing everything to make Franco more comfortable and relaxed on the grid? CMON.

And ofc before we even had this bit of lore THE DRIVERS PARADE! Franco Yapinto and Lando heart eyes Norris? That pic is going down in fucking history LANDO U CANNOT HIDE FROM ME.

And ofc the post race moment where they were down to duet the interview and the way Lando’s gaze just lingered on Franco, the way they smile at eo, the general EASE in their interactions from what little we’ve seen.

Obv we haven’t seen much yet but like the little we have i just think they’re a fun, fluffy and sweet pairing. Like i just picture Franco the professional yapper yapping away while Lando fondly smiles at him while hanging on to every word. There’s the angle of Lando being a sort of support system for Franco, being a comforting presence to quell his anxieties, to make him feel wanted and less alone with the complicated situation surrounding him getting his seat. Lando who doesn’t wanna see a rookie get consumed by all the not-so spectacular sides of F1, and in the process finds himself falling head over heels for this dude who can’t stfu and is flirty with everyone and sounds hot when he speaks spanish. Then there’s Franco who came into the whole thing with the mentality of maybe staying strong, putting up walls, telling himself he can take all the pressure, but then when he finds Lando so readily offering him so much comfort despite being virtual strangers atp, he feels more relaxed and open.

Anyway they’re fluffy and sweet and total switches ty.

Gax: MAKES SENSE AND COMPELS ME SO MUCH I’M DYING ON THIS HILL

OK SO there’s a surprisingly amount of LORE to gax and i will sum it up without too much rambling: they’ve been racing more or less all their lives tgt in the same categories and stuff since their karting days. They were even teammates at one point in a junior category. The incident that most people know Gax by (and admittedly what got me into F1 to begin with) happened last year in Baku where they had a bit of an inchident with Max confronting him childishly and George just bein his goofy gremlin self.

ANYWAY. A lot of people like to see them as enemies to lovers which i mean hey its a delicious dynamic and i love that but Gax is more complex than that. They’ve have their quarrel but they’re actually really friendly? It’s a friendliness that comes with just knowing eo practically all their lives. They have a mutual respect for eo and always speak good things about one another, but it’s also clear from their racing and few incidents where they clash that neither of them are the types of back down. Max is definitely more explosive in his rage and arrogance but George is a more simmering fire. He will say things as it is with a smile, and i could see how their egos would clash hard cuz they’re both passionate about racing and winning. But they’re also not the types to hold a grudge, they’re able to separate racing from off-track relationships, which is evident in how quickly they made up from the 2023 inchident and went back to their friendly interactions.

I see Gax’s dynamic as something akin to comfort. They’re both sarcastic chaos gremlins who know how to banter and tease, but Max can be a bit explosive and sensitive about racing which might carry out off-track, but George is the type to calmly be both upfront about his stance while not being outright combative. They’d balance each other out in a way, though they’d still have their disagreements and arguments given how prideful they are as drivers.

Gax is a dynamic where there’s an understanding there from the years of being in each other’s orbit. They’ve never been the best of friends but there’s an attraction there, with sparks flying on track, the adrenaline persisting even off track and condensing into a carnal need. It’s confusing at first—they have people they’re much closer with you’d expect them to fall for but then they find each other? It’s unexpected for them too but they fall into the dynamic easily, their sense of humor clicking. They wouldn’t be overly sweet but they’d be pretty domestic imo, like have an easygoing, chill dynamic in their relationship.

The horniness needs to be studied tho esp Max’s obsession with George being shirtless like bro i am NOT kidding about the carnal magnetism between them. As for their bedroom dynamics i’m a 100% bottom max truther and George is such a service top so there’s that :D

Hope any of that made sense lol ty for sending in the ask!

[xohyeona]

LOVE, PATIENCE & ADMIRATION.

SUMMARY. some of the significant moments of aeri and kaleina’s journey through produce 101

AUTHORS NOTE. here it isssss @urmykrushhh i’m so sorry this took forever 😭 BUT!! i really enjoyed working on this. i kinda filled in some blanks, like their audition performance, kaleina & kiyeon’s relationship, etc, but hopefully i got this somewhat accurate of the girls’ journey. btw i got a lot of inspo for this fic from the greatest by billie eilish, literally had that song on repeat

hearing the news of being sent to produce 101 brought on two different reactions from aeri and kyungja. for aeri, it only erupted her nerves even more, the threat of having to compete against on hundred other girls for a debut worried her. kyungja, on the other hand, took this as another opportunity; a solid chance to make her dreams come true in case she couldn’t debut under bighit.

having the title of “bighit trainees” alone already gave them a higher up. shocked stares and whispers filled the room upon the girls’ entrance from compliments like, “they’re so pretty” to questions such as, “since when did bighit even have female trainees?” to comments about how kyungja looked a bit familiar.

aeri and kyungja could feel a mixture of awe and tension when they walked into the room, however their smiling faces never faltered, making a good impression. cheetah let out a sudden sound of surprise while looking through the girls’ profiles, kyungja specifically. she did a double take, whispering to bae yoonjung sitting next to her before turning her attention to kyungja. “kyungja, your sister is an idol, correct?”

kyungja sheepishly smiled, “yes. my older sister is girls generations’ kiyeon.”

as soon as she said that, they entire room filled with gasps and surprised looks. so that’s why she looked so familiar.

“are you going to perform a girls generation song?” jang keunsuk asked.

“no, no,” kyungja laughed, comically waving her hands in protest. that was a discussion before entering the show, what song they would perform. aeri suggested run devil run or mr. mr. but the younger girl detested the idea. of course she liked those songs and she knew that promoted herself as juyeon’s younger sister would garner lots of attention, but she didn’t want to do that. she didn’t want to use her sister’s popularity to get herself ahead. she was gonna get there on her own.

finally, aeri and kyungja were able to perform. deciding to be confident and make a strong impression, the girls performed i am the best by 2ne1, which received praise from the judges and contestants. jeA complimented aeri on her vocals but told her that her dancing needed improvement. kyungja received praise for her rapping and dance ability and was asked to freestyle, which only put her in higher graces with the judges.

“i’ll announce the rankings now,” jang keunsuk exclaimed, holding the microphone close and looking down at his papers, “trainee jang kyungja, A.”

kyungja smiled and sighed in relief as all of the other trainees clapped for her. nobody really excepted anything less.

“trainee yamamoto aeri,” keunsuk continued, leaving a long pause before announcing her ranking, “B.”

though she was slightly disappointed she received a lower rank than kyungja, she still smiled and nodded, clapping for herself along with the other trainees.

“thank you.” the girls both bowed and walked off stage. as the two walked up to their seats, finally, they held hands and smiled at each other in encouragement; a silent saying of “we got this.” they were already off to a good start and while the only place you can go after being at the top is down, it seemed unlikely at the moment.

kyungja almost doesn’t believe it when a staff member hands her her cell phone. her eyes blink rapidly and she looks at the female staff skeptically, “really?” she asks while being urged to take the phone. she slowly takes it, in fear that the staff will change her mind and instantly take it back. when she’s told to make a phone call to someone important, she immediately thinks of one person; kiyeon.

“hello?”

“oh thank god you answered,” kyungja dramatically sighs in relief, basically throwing her entire body against the wall. she really didn’t think her sister would, being already a debuted idol and kyungja being so busy training, it’s been a while since they’ve had the chance to really talk.

kiyeon lightens up hearing her baby sister’s voice, “kyungja-yah! are you okay? how are you? aren’t you still doing the show?” she floods kyungja with multiple questions, but it takes a moment for kyungja to find an answer. she didn’t realize it until now, but she really needed to hear her voice.

kyungja lets her body slide down to the floor and holding her knees to her chest. “don’t worry, i’m not eliminated yet,” she jokes, though the threat of possibly being eliminated never leaves her mind. “they gave us our phones to call someone, so i decided to call you. sorry if you’re busy.”

kiyeon hums, “you know i’m never too busy when you need me. what’s on your mind?”

the younger sibling sighs, feeling the weight of kiyeon’s words. what is on her mind? besides constantly practicing and working hard to not be eliminated, kyungja had very little time to process her feelings.

“i’m tired,” she knows that for sure. probably not just physically, but mentally too. kyungja has been doing this for a long time, six years to be exact. she loves this, she really does, but goddamn does she need a nap and a couple hours to herself.

“that’s okay,” kiyeon tells her. “you’ll get tired a lot doing this job. but don’t let yourself be tired for nothing.” kyungja tilts her head in confusion, raising her eyebrows.

“if you really want this kyungja, use that tiredness to find the strength to push through. don’t let it go to waste.”

“but also, don’t overwork yourself and get sick, you need to be healthy too.” kiyeon quickly adds, but kyungja smiles and laughs, “got it. thanks unnie.” her words replay in kyungja’s mind and she finds herself feeling a little better, more determined if anything.

“you got this, kaleina.”

“aeri is the center?” jeA asked.

as the concept evaluation round of performances were just a few days away, led to aeri and the rest of her team practicing yum-yum. cheetah and jeA, who were monitoring the performance, were quiet for a moment as the girls completed the routine. tension filled the room with the girls out of breath and nervous, worried about what they will say.

“what happened? aeri, you messed up once and suddenly your face looked scared for the rest of the performance. you looked like you didn’t know what you were doing.” cheetah scolds. her tone isn’t harsh, but aeri can practically hear the intimidation in her voice. in respond, she could only nod and let out a soft apology.

“don’t apologize. just fix it, okay?”

after what seemed like forever, kyungja and aeri meet up in an empty practice room. since performing the signal song, they’ve been on separate teams. it’s been a while since they’ve had the free time to talk.

“you okay?” kyungja asks, taking a seat on the floor next to aeri, who’s leaning against the wall. aeri, who only hums, watches her sit. the two sit in a comfortable silence for a moment.

“i think i’m in trouble,” aeri laughs, though serious. “i’m worried about this performance.” she actually worried about a lot of things right now; the fear of being eliminated, the public audience slowly beginning to turn on her, but this upcoming performance weighs heavily.

“let me see.” kyungja declares, and aeri looks at a bit taken aback. “you have the music, right? let me see you do it.” she gestures for aeri to get up. the older girl hesitates for a second before grabbing the music player. kyungja was one of the best dancers she’s ever met. if anyone could help her, it would be her.

as aeri plays the music and begins to dance, kyungja looks at her intensely. it’s a look that makes aeri believe she’d be a good judge if she wasn’t a trainee. as the song reaches the chorus, kyungja suddenly stops her.

“relax. you’re so tense, it’s why you’re off beat. it’s causing you to move too fast. you might be thinking too much, which i completely understand, but it’s not helping you.” aeri nods, intensely taking in everything she’s saying. she understands, but how is she supposed to relax? they’re not exactly in a calm situation right now. it almost makes her feel worse.

kyungja seemingly senses aeri’s worries. “here, close your eyes.” again, aeri looks at her confused.

“close your eyes, turn around, and do the choreography. it might be easier if you make yourself believe you’re alone.” she can read the skepticism written all of aeri’s face, but her stance doesn’t change, staring at her until she decides to do it.

“okay,” aeri draws out, slowly turning around and closing her eyes. she doesn’t really understand how this method is supposed to work, but kyungja’s the only dance expert in the room right now so she’ll go with it.

the music begins, and aeri takes a deep breath. she starts to dance, and oddly enough, her body feels calmer. she’s not looking at anyone and therefore, doesn’t feel the stress of being judge, even while knowing that kyungja is right behind her. she goes through the entire routine, not completely perfect, but better than the first time. as the song closes out and aeri completes the final move, kyungja smiles and softly claps for her. “see? that was better, right? how was it?”

aeri turns back to face her and smiles and nods, slightly out of breath. “yeah, i think that was better. now i just have to do that with my eyes open.”

“come on, just practice a few more times like that and you’ll be okay. you got this aeri.” kyungja encourages, and while it doesn’t make aeri’s worries completely go away, it leaves some hope in her mind.

kyungja sent a warming smile towards aeri, attempting to lift up the older girl’s spirits. aeri reciprocated, but as the names of other trainees began to be called and less spots became available, her worries only grew.

kang mina in 18th place, zhou jieqiong in 19th place, jeon soyeon in 20th place, jung eunwoo in 21st place. aeri’s eyes were squeezed shut and her fingers tightly crossed. she had to be next, please let her be next. she knows the public hasn’t been in favor of her recently, but if she just had one more shot, she’d do better. all she needs is one more chance to prove that she deserves a spot and─

lee soohyun in 22nd place.

the tenseness in her body slowly eased. her fingers uncrossed and her eyes slowly open as the realization hit her. she didn’t make it. her mind starts to spin, going over everything she did wrong or could’ve done better; how she could’ve done better.

will she have another chance after this?

sure, there were still plans for bighit to debut a new girl group, but in this industry? everything is uncertain. aeri’s eyes began to well into tears, but she quickly blinked them away at the sight of kyungja, who had a look of pity on her face. all of their encouragement of making the group together was suddenly down the drain.

“it’s okay.” aeri mouthed to kyungja, hoping to make the younger girl feel better. she shouldn’t be sad, kyungja still has a chance.

although regrettable, she can’t change the past. she did what she did and this is what happened.

days later kyungja would find herself in the same position, surrounded in the mist of the remaining girls, all anxiously waiting for their fate. it was the final. after months of rigorous practicing, tough competition, and stressful eliminations, things were coming to an end.

names began to be called, painfully slowly might i add. from lim nayoung in 10th place to jeon somi and kim sejeong in 1st and 2nd. only 11th place remained. kyungja stared at the tv screen displayed in front of the girls, jumping in surprise seeing her face appear along with three other girls.

kyungja couldn’t even find the words to speak when asked how she felt. a million thoughts ran through her head, she could barely think straight. 14th place was announced, then 13th; neither of which were her.

no pressure, right?

now, it was between her and yeonjung. a top tier vocalist versus a top tier dancer. it was anyone’s game at this point, either one of them. kyungja didn’t know how much longer she could be patient. her hands were shaking and she could only stare at the floor. when she heard the words, “starship, yoo yeonjug,” she let out the huge breath she had been holding since the beginning.

one spot. kyungja was one spot away from making the lineup of i.o.i. just one. she walked over and hugged yeonjung, who had bursted into tears, reassuring and congratulating her. no matter how disappointed in herself she was, these were still her friends and colleagues. she was happy for yeonjung. though, she could help turning away from everyone else to wipe her tears after letting go of her.

‘don’t let it be for nothing.’ kyungja heard kiyeon’s words in her head. she won’t quit. there was still hope for her at bighit. she’s gonna go back and continue to work hard for her dreams. she won’t let her struggles be for nothing.

[mana-jjk]

finally someone who actually understands inuokko and doesn't mischaracterize as an alpha sigma male and Toge as an uwu boy! bestie you don't know how happy I am that you came up on my fyp.

omg hi anon !! 🥺🫶

i love analyzing characters way before any shipping, i could actually read nothing but found family fics because i just feel like they always catch the perfect dynamic. with yuuta and toge specifically, i do feel like you can appreciate aspects of how their dynamic is on an appearance level or how they fit certain popular tropes, but i don’t think it’s the driving force behind what makes them so good together.

i do acknowledge that if we default to the stereotypical gay men tropes without tangible reason, it’s more indicative of getting used to knowing how to write LGBT+ relationships and tending to default to what we might be used to in straight relationships. i say that without any offense intended, it’s just a part of the writing process. especially with toge as a character, who has so much of his characterization sprinkled outside of the manga and anime. a lot of his backstory and characteristics are derived from the fun facts, light novel, and now even the unreleased game has given us so much more content. but i also think that’s why he’s so popular, there’s so much freedom in exploring him, especially if you haven’t discovered the existing content. taking that with yuuta who is honestly a fan favorite of the chad dude straight bros and gets a little too much ‘alpha male’ treatment from them, it can be a little confusing. (it kills me a little to see some one say he’s an alpha male with a bad attitude and smoking guns when manga panels will literally have him looking like this (・・?) 😭)

i do have preferences in how both yuuta and toge are portrayed, but that’s just because i care about them so much as individual characters.

for me, toge is soft and kind, but he was also born as a weapon and has spent his life sacrificing himself over and over. you can still have that softness and kindness, even more so when experiencing certain things, but there’s also a degree of hardening from trauma. i do characterize him to be less overtly an instigator lol, but that’s personal preference in how i see him combined with canon material. i find a lot of his trolling to be slipped in and more of a double take than full on gremlin, but that’s less mischaracterization and more preference. i find his relationship with living and death so, so interesting, especially in how he tries to shield the first-years and yuuta from having any kind of blood on their hands. it implicates him to have done that very thing, and he spends his life silencing himself because of it. i do believe his language barrier is almost a relief, because it acts almost as a self-imposed wall. but despite that wall, he still reaches out because while he himself is okay being alone, the thought of someone like yuuta, someone he sees as exactly like him, suffering by himself is painful to him.

for yuuta, i am a big advocate for the continued acknowledgment of his anxiety, depression, and low key craziness. he had a normal childhood, but that somehow makes the transition to everything with rika so much worse. because he had that normalcy and it was shattered completely. he’s hurt, maimed, and killed people both unintentionally and intentionally. but he sees it as necessary in protecting the people he cares about the most. in a lot of ways, i think his dubious morality and how far he’s willing to go is an expression of his love. for example, killing getou in his eyes is the ultimate act of service to gojo, so he himself would not have to kill him. his character is such a juxtaposition compared to everyone we’ve been introduced to. here you have these child soldiers, ready and willing to sacrifice themselves, where death and suffering is more feasible than ever living their life to entirely. then they give us yuuta, who wants to live so badly in happiness that he’s willing to inflict and do everything for and against their society. it’s almost an unhealthy relationship to a degree, but it’s the only kind of relationship any of them know how to have.

together they work so well, because like i’ve said before, they defy each other’s expectations in what they ever believed they could have or deserve. despite their rough edges, the blood on their hands, the years they’ve lost to fighting battles they never started, they treat each other so gently. as if they are the better half, yet simultaneously knowing exactly how much they have done. yuuta who sees violence almost as a love letter, who absorbs toge’s curse as if it’s something to admire and adore. toge who sees himself as unforgivable in his crimes, who self-enforces isolation and barriers yet took a step out just to comfort yuuta from a mild spell of anxiety, because he couldn’t stand to see him suffer even in a minor degree.

i have so many feelings about them so i’m so glad that they come across the way i want them to !! i love all content, and i’m always willing to share my thoughts, but ty so much for the validation bestie, i’m sure i’m eating up your content as well !! 🥺

[whattraintracks]

Grudge Match – vibrating I am so excited for this episode

“collect Michelangelo” idk why but this word choice is sending me 

ouch this tension between all of them (Raph getting in Leo's face about his attitude; Mikey avoiding training) is hitting really close to home

portals once again proving to be bad news for turtles

gosh I will never get over how Raph will flip a switch from yelling at a brother to defending him in an instant

Kluh’s like a rematch? nah I just want him dead

actually, Kluh and Ammag make an interesting parallel to Karai and Shredder

Don: Man, it stinks to be you :D

Raph: This is the best day of my life!

guys pleeeeeeeease

Splinter’s pizza with pepperoni and karma, I cannot

his statue!! every time I think about the three generations of Hamato in the pavilion of past champions I get a little teary-eyed

oh, shoot! I did not expect to actually cry about Leo and the Daimyo’s Son!

just just just Leo facing an enemy who tried to kill him specifically and hurt his family multiple times

but instead of dismissing or hating this kid, he is for the first time in a while dorky, unsure, kind Leo again

excuse you, how am I supposed to emotionally recover from this?? 😭😭😭

I sense some foul play in this joint 

“we still talking about me here?” astute as always Michelangelo

Mikey's persistent ‘get me out of here!’ is really showcasing how for him the championship was less about being the best and more about wanting attention from his family

which I totally understand

Raph is straight-up stimming he is so excited about Mikey’s fight

you Can Not tell me Ue hasn’t been following Leo around like a duckling

you know I would read the heck out of a fic about Leo and his emotional support child

barbarians! what's a barbarian? non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.

okay, yeah, Don and Raph's glee and Mikey's panic make more sense given they fully expect Mikey won’t get too hurt because of the safety spells but Mikey forgot about them

it's unfortunate that uh those spells no longer exist

no!! leave Ue alone!

ooh forgot how good the Battle Nexus music theme is

look at my boy go!!!!

sure enough, they're all immediately freaked when those safety spells didn’t take effect

love how expressive Raph’s body language is, he is all in

fascinated by the three father-son duos at odds with each other here (Ammag and Kluh v Splinter and Mikey v Daimyo and Ue)

HOLY CRAP HE’S SO COOL

HE’S HOLDING ONE NUNCHUCK WITH HIS FOOT!!!!!!!!!!

have I mentioned lately how much I love Mikey and Splinter's match in Big Brawl? because it feels relevant to bring it up now

Splinter passing on their legacy means so much to me and I really love how the Battle Nexus sort of became a Splinter and Mikey thing

and it's really cool to see how the Battle Nexus drives home some of Splinter’s lessons for Mikey

point is Mikey’s “my father taught me better than that” is a perfect way to end the rematch and the various father-son conflicts

those are some flamboyant, glowy costumes and weapons you boys've got on

“I’m gonna have to move out.” Raph's just like me fr. I'm pretty sure I said that exact statement to my mother growing up (probably about doing chores but that’s neither here nor there)

as easy as it would be to take Don and Raph’s whining the wrong way it really was just played for laughs and I'm surprisingly okay with that

I'm still gonna read a bunch of hurt/comfort fics about this but yeah

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 11

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 951

Masterlist

Guysssss I'm sorry if this sucks. I spent all day at the office wishing I could write and then I got home and people just would NOT leave me alone and I had to keep taking breaks 😭😭. Also I kind of didn't know how I wanted this chapter to go at all but now that I'm past it I'll probably have less trouble.

I'm not mad, (Y/n).

It's been three days and you're still avoiding me, but I'm so not mad that I give Ethan a raise and that I buy Paco dinner twice and that I smile at everyone who walks into Mooney’s. That's how you know I love you: I understand that you need time and space to figure out how you feel. And I can wait. And I don't take it out on others. Love is patient, after all.

And this is love. I know it is. You said I am great, and cute, and ugh, and that means something. But you said it yourself: you are ruining this by avoiding me. And when I text you, you're short with me. Why are you doing this to us? Are you the kind of girl who sabotages good things?

Then you finally text me properly. It's a long string of texts, and I want to ignore you because I'm not mad, but I'm a little disappointed in you, honestly, and I think that's fair. But the more I read, the more I smile, and I know I will not ignore you.

YOU: ok im so sorry i know iv been super distant and rude and that is totally on me and id love to tell u iv just been busy or whatever but the truth is actually that i've kind of been avoiding you?? i know i know im a mega bitch. plz forgive me 🙏🏻

YOU: but heres the thing iv never??? done this before??? like gone on dates and gotten drunk and spilled my guts to a guy and liked a guy

YOU: like this is so embarrassing bc i might just be making a super big deal out of nothing

YOU: iv had like six coffees today im sorry im not making sense

YOU: iv never had a boyfriend before and i dont have any other friends here and also im kind of like. super insecure??? so

YOU: you can interrupt me any minute now

YOU: pls

ME: Just give me a moment.

Ethan isn't here to watch the register but honestly, (Y/n)? I don't care. There's only two people in the store and they've both been browsing forever. They're just going to end up buying books they will never read, so I go into the office and close the door behind me. And then I call you.

You answer right away.

“Hey, you,” you say, embarrassed.

“You should have too much coffee more often,” I tell you.

“Uh, no, never again. I have a horrible headache.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” you assure me. I hear something slam in the background. “Oops.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just rearranging my furniture.”

“Okay. Why?”

“I'm having a… day,” you say. “Sometimes I just have these moments where I have to change something about my life right this second, you know?”

“So you rearrange your furniture and you text guys illiterate love confessions.”

“Illiterate!” you exclaim. “I will have you know I am a copywriter, and I'm very good at my job.”

“Uh huh.”

“My failure to capitalize my texts is entirely on purpose.”

“Right.”

“And so is the lack of commas.”

I keep quiet, and you realize that I called what you sent me a love confession. You don't correct me because you do love me. You do.

“So,” you say. “Thoughts?”

“I like you. I think that's pretty clear. I went to a music festival with you, and the music was terrible.”

You laugh.

“But I don't want to push you into anything. Have you really never had a boyfriend?”

“Well, there was this boy at summer camp when I was twelve. We held hands on the swings and he shared his Nintendo with me. But I don't think that counts.” I've never wanted to kill a twelve-year-old boy before. “Then there was a girl when I was fifteen. I liked her but it turned out she was just, like, experimenting. So was I, really. We lasted two weeks.”

A girl, huh? This isn't something I expected. But I don't react, because I know you want me to react, and you also don't always like to get what you want right away.

“But no,” you conclude. “I've never actually dated anyone before. That doesn't mean you're pushing me.”

You are so brave, (Y/n). You've never been in love with anyone before but here you are, taking charge.

On your end of the phonecall, something else slams. Then something shatters. You curse and someone knocks on the office window, and I hold up my finger at him to indicate one minute.

“Hey,” I say. “Do you want me to come over and help? After work, I mean.”

“No. I mean, yes to coming over, but no to helping. I'll just get annoyed because you're not doing it exactly how I want it to be done.”

“I'll just bring food, then.”

Another kock at the window. I'm going to kill this guy.

“Great! I'm craving pizza,” you say.

“Pizza it is. Toppings?”

“Pepperoni. And jalapenos.”

“You got it.”

“See you tonight, Joe,” you say, but what you really mean is I love you.

We hang up and I go help the man. I am so nice to him, because you have invited me to your apartment. You want me there. You want me to sit on your bed and feed you and watch you move your books around because you love me, and you told me you've never had a boyfriend before which means you think I am your boyfriend now.

Closing time can't come soon enough.

[lemonhemlock]

a few leaks asks below the cut

Anonymous asked: Could it be because he plans on doling out executions and/or razing KL to the ground, and he doesn't want Alicent to be present for the flagrant misuse of power he's about to administer to the poor peasants, ala Rhaenyra in the text? Because it feels like they're making Aemond the super cheesy baddie of S2, instead of working on giving Rhaenyra her book due, and I am not here for it. Or Aemond's reason could be he hates everything and everyone who dares to say no to him/inject reason in him. Basically meaningless power hungry trope that writes itself into a corner. And (not) I'm sorry for calling Aemond's arc super cheesy but it is what it is. Look at the show's reasoning for his decision to turn on Aegon; no meat to it at all. Aemond sitting at small councils with his smug little smiles 🙄😒 Being curt with Alicent. Having zero remorse. No hate to Ewan at all he's phenomenal. I just can't make any sense of Aemond this season and find it all very cringe.

Anonymous asked: Probably because he doesn't want her to manipulate him by playing into his feelings ala "mommy loves you no matter what, but please be good now" and he feels its too late for that now, but if she keeps doing that it might sway him over because he still wants his mom. But after what he's already done and accomplished he feels like it's too late to turn back now. At least that's my interpretation 🤷‍♀️

i'm just gonna copy/paste my comment from the last post because it basically summarizes my answer

what is even the point? aemond should leave soon for harrenhal, why bother sending her away? she is still the dowager queen, council or no, she can still give orders to people 😭 it's just to hammer home how all the greens hate each other & how wrong alicent was to turn against rhaenyra and choose her own children (how dare she, she must be punished)

i agree aemond has been so cringe this season 😭 no real emotional weight to him, his decision-process makes him look like a graduate of clown academy. jaehaerys' murder doesn't incense him more against the blacks, it's aegon lightly mocking him in a brothel than sends him into a murderous tizzy 😭

further logical complications if these leaks are true:

rhaenicent makes more sense if both of them are in the same city. you can introduce as many scenes between as you want. ORGANICALLY. not having to rely on mission impossible: westeros-style gimmicks. why would you remove alicent from KL when rhaenyra conquers it?

daeron hasn't even been cast yet let's be so for real 😭

alicent is supposed to be leaving KL but otto is coming back just to be executed by rhaenyra?

Anonymous asked: can the writers just leave Aemond alone, he is their punching bag at this point

for real 😭

the thing about aemond is that he was never portrayed in s1 as an unfeeling robot who doesn't care about his family. he goes to his mother for comfort, he defends helaena in front of aegon, he covers for alicent when viserys demands to know who told him rhaenyra's children are bastards, he tells luke he wants his eye to give to his mother..................all of these elements are gone this season, he couldn't give less of a shit. i'm at a loss to understand how this is good and compelling storytelling, it just looks lazy and boring and uncomplicated to my narrative sensibilities

[heyiwrotesomethings]

HI HOPE IM NOT LATE!!

Can I request shinobu with a female reader who when they meet is always thirsty, like even them just walking a few steps makes them so thirsty for water they feel like their gonna pass out (and they sometimes do) and there's nothing wrong with there health at all! but of course it somehow doesn't effect their missions until the very end.

Thank you sm if you consider 😭😭

I love your writing so much eidhaksjdjr

Water…

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: Here you go, hope you enjoy it! Everybody go drink some water! Word Count: 1,240

“Ahh, so refreshing,” (Y/n) hummed pleasantly after downing a cup of cool, soothing water, “I’m ready for our walk now!” She beamed, quickly joining Shinobu at the doorway.

“Very well,” Shinobu smiled in kind.

She barely took three steps out in the sun before she felt (Y/n)’s hand encircle her arm.

“On second thought, maybe I need a little more? I’ll be right back.”

Shinobu watched her go, shaking her head in amusement.

At first, she had been disturbed and concerned by (Y/n)’s seemingly never ending thirst. She put her through every test in the books to find out if it was a symptom of some underlying health condition, but (Y/n) seemed perfectly healthy by all measures of known science and medicine. She just had a tendency to be very thirsty, very often.

“Ready?” Shinobu asked once (Y/n) returned, ever patient when it came to her.

“Yeah— wait… maybe one more.”

“Let’s fill up a gourd bottle. Then you can carry some with you.” Shinobu decided. She did want to get out of the mansion at some point today before she was inevitably pulled back into work.

“That’s a great idea! I’ll go drink some more water while you get it. That way, I’ll maximize how long it’ll last me.” (Y/n) clapped.

Shinobu nodded and went to retrieve and fill a bottle. She let the water fill the container to the brim and corked it, holding it securely in her hands. The size of the gourd should have been more than adequate for the short outing but…

“Maybe one more.” Shinobu decided, already filling up a second gourd.

***

It had been a good idea, but it was not enough for the poor girl.

“Shinobuuuu,” she called, sounding like she had gargled a mouth full of warm, dry sand, “I, I ran out of water…”

“Already?” Shinobu pulled up the two gourds by the string hanging loosely over (Y/n)’s shoulder and found them to indeed be as light as air.

“Mouth so dry… World is spinning…”

“Here, sit in the shade for a minute. Take slow, deep breaths.”

“Shinobu? Am I dying?”

“No, no you are not. Just lay down and breathe, I’ll get you more water.”

“Shinobu, don’t leave me in the desert alone!” (Y/n) wheezed, weakly gripping Shinobu’s pant leg.

“We are in an evergreen forest not even two kilometers away from the mansion. I’ll just run home and refill these. I’ll be back in less than ten minutes.”

Shinobu untangled the gourds from (Y/n)’s person, then she was gone.

True to her word, she was back in no time at all, although in (Y/n)‘s delirium, it seemed like years.

“H’nobu, you came back for me… look at you, still so young. You haven’t aged a day…”

“That’s because not even eight minutes have passed since I was gone. Here,”

Shinobu had doubled the amount of gourds she had brought the first time. She uncorked one and lightly began to pour it over (Y/n)’s face, hoping to snap her out of the strange thirst-induced fog she had succumbed to. Shinobu made a mental note to always bring more water on sunny days like this from now on.

At first, (Y/n) didn’t register the sudden gush of ‘rain’ the washed over her, but then she blinked rapidly and swiftly sat up, snatching the gourd out of Shinobu’s hands to down the rest in a couple of rapid gulps.

She pulled her lips away from the gourd with a deep breath like she had been underwater for an almost worrisome period of time, then she looked to Shinobu, her eyes carrying more of their usual shine than they had just a moment ago.

“Wahh!” She latched onto Shinobu, hugging her tightly, “Shinobu! You saved my life!” She cried.

“I’m sure you would have survived, but please don’t cry, you’re going to lose more water and I can only carry so much at a time.”

“I’ll try.” (Y/n) sniffed, pulling back from Shinobu who offered her another gourd from the pile.

(Y/n) thanked her and put the gourd to her lips, drinking less like a frantic person lost in the desert for three days.

They took some time resting in the shade together and as (Y/n) picked up the third gourd, her crow came swooping down from the trees to alert her of a mission she would need to prepare for later that night.

Shinobu had a feeling that she would need to refill those gourds sooner rather than later, and maybe add another two to the pile while she was at it. She found herself wondering for not the first time since she knew (Y/n), how she survived this long as a demon slayer.

“Let’s make sure you are as prepared for this mission as you can be.” Shinobu said, helping (Y/n) back to her feet.

“Aww, you care about me.” (Y/n) gushed teasingly.

Shinobu held out the last gourd, hearing the water swish inside, “If you want this, and I’m sure you will, keep quiet.” Shinobu smiled a tad menacingly.

(Y/n) made a motion of zipping her lips and hurried after Shinobu, three empty gourds clinking against each other as she went.

***

Shinobu couldn’t help but be worried as she saw (Y/n) off at sunset. She couldn’t help but hover over her the rest of the day, making sure (Y/n) had adequate hydration and didn’t eat anything high in salt that would make her thirst even more troublesome. Usually, she gave no second thought to (Y/n)’s missions because she always came back in good health, but the chaos earlier in the day gave her trepidations. So when (Y/n) left with eight gourds hanging off of her shoulders, Shinobu decided to follow and observe from a distance.

Before long, (Y/n) had gone through six gourds. She wasn’t even halfway to the demon’s stomping grounds yet. Shinobu watched on, though she was concerned, she was also curious. Obviously (Y/n) had managed to survive just fine thus far, but how?

When (Y/n)’s crow alerted her than the demon was near, Shinobu rubbed at her temples as (Y/n) downed the last two gourds. Surely she would get thirsty during the battle, shouldn’t she save some at least? Or maybe, there wasn’t time to drink during? Even then, Shinobu thought she should at the very least save some for after.

The demon came out and swiped at (Y/n) as she took her last gulp. Shinobu watched with bated breath while (Y/n) fought it for several minutes, wondering when she should jump in to assist, but (Y/n) was holding her own just fine. It was incredible, honestly. Was this really the same girl who couldn’t go on a light walk without consuming her body weight in water?

(Y/n) then delivered the blow that decapitated the demon. She flicked the blood off of her sword and put it away with a satisfied nod. Shinobu then saw her footing falter and went to catch her without delay.

“(Y/n), are you alright?” Shinobu asked, checking (Y/n) over. Maybe the demon had nicked her somewhere…

(Y/n) had fainted, but even unconscious she found the strength to utter a single word,

“Water…”

“This girl,” Shinobu shook her head in disbelief.

Good thing she brought more with her. Maybe she should convert one of her bigger training gourds into a water bottle for (Y/n) in the future. She imagined it would be quite heavy though. She’d have to think on it.

[innerchorus]

Arslan Senki Chapter 124

I've cooled off a little bit after the intense experience that this chapter was, so here are a few thoughts! (I read the official simulpub on Kmanga, apologies that I haven't looked for the raw this time but it may be out there if you check.)

The chapter opens in the underground waterways and I am immediately relieved because this means that we did indeed backtrack a bit from last chapter, meaning that we are going to see the fighting there that reveals exactly how Andragoras reached Hilmes

Sam, when speaking of the existence of these tunnels, saying that if he'd known about them he wouldn't have 'helplessly surrendered the royal capital to the Lusitanian army'. Sam, please don't blame yourself! If the royal family chose to keep that knowledge to themselves, it's their fault, not yours. The fact that he's still blaming himself for this... That he thinks of himself as a failure in this respect... 😭

The Kishward-Sam fight was less nervewracking than the one the anime included in the battle for the Keep of Saint-Emmanuel, but only because I didn't know the outcome then. I think it's hard to get some of the nuances of this fight across in manga format but as usual Arakawa did a good job with it, and I want to discuss it a bit!

Sam's eyes here... He looks so sad, you just know he longed for that to have been him instead of leading the life he's living now

...and with that expression, the fight resumes. Kishward has already come to the conclusion that what Kubard said about Sam looking for death was true, and that's what we see when Sam next attacks, right after this line about envying Shapur and Garshasp. It's obvious that he's trying to force Kishward into a position where he has to kill him. He won't surrender, he won't switch sides, but he is willing to die like the warrior he no longer sees himself as.

If Kishward met him as he would someone he sees as a true enemy, he would have killed Sam then. He could have done so with his other sword while Sam is open after that strike. But he doesn't, because he doesn't want to kill his former comrade!

And Sam IS NOT WILLING TO KILL KISHWARD EITHER. If he had, Kishward would surely already be dead for what looks like seeking only to stand firm rather than land a fatal blow of his own, and that's why he only receives a broken sword and a shallow cut to the face. The... choreography (?) of the fight at this point is slightly different in the novels but I think the manga did a good job making a small change to show both of their attitudes more clearly.

(For the curious, in the novel Kishward's sword breaks on Sam's armour when Sam deliberately doesn't evade his slash, but as Kishward never intended for it to be a killing blow, it only cracks his armour. I'm not sure that would have come across from images alone so thumbs up to Arakawa for her modification.)

Sam still calling Andragoras 'Your Majesty' showing his inner conflict (Hilmes would hate it just as he did when Sam said 'His Highness Arslan' in his presence, but I find it understandable) but HE STILL DEFENDS HIS POSITION

and this is another small change from the novel but Arakawa's Sam is much more vehement here, much firmer in his conviction to not let Andragoras past and I love that because I can't deny it bothered me a bit in the novel scene where there's a lot of hesitance in his dialogue and he just says "Even though it's Your Majesty...' but here we get THIS:

And if that doesn't confirm that despite any inner conflict he feels, he will never betray Hilmes for Andragoras, I don't know what does. So I was thrilled to see this, honestly.

In the novel it feels as though it's Andragoras's imposing presence that oppresses Sam's will to resist him but that's not so here. I can only believe that Sam allows him through precisely because he wants to avoid the situation he mentioned earlier; 'more slaughter between kinsmen.' If Hilmes and Andragoras talk, will fighting between Parsians be averted? This must be his hope. I do wonder whether he ends up having his suspicions about precisely what Andragoras wanted to tell Hilmes, though... after all, he already knows part of it himself.

(I had some mixed feelings about this moment, so I did quite a lot of thinking about it before, but honestly, it makes sense for Sam's character and what we know is important to him. I'm just very, very glad Arakawa allowed him to face Andragoras down like that first. I do wonder how Hilmes would see things, though.)

Anyway Hilmes's expressions in the following scene wrecked me and just watching him sweat and tremble in position and be on the verge of vomiting was hard. Anyway, the sordid details come to light, and we know who the sorcerer who supplied Gotarzes with the prophecy that caused all of it was...

Some more images of Hilmes's (very beautiful) mother!

Gotarzes, though... The way he's drawn when he's grasping Osroes's wife shows how repulsive his decision was, and it's clear she doesn't want this, but she would have had no choice.

Hilmes tries so hard to believe that this is all a lie, but... you can tell that he can't. It's difficult to watch him go through this. And I can't believe we didn't even conclude this scene (unless Andragoras is just going to leave now in the manga; he didn't in the novels but we'll see, moving things around here could work but equally splitting it with the parallel conversation between Arslan and Tahamenay is a nice touch and I'm glad Arakawa is devoting the necessary time and attention to all of this).

You know... I'm exhausted lmao, someone else please post about the Team Arslan section that came after this.