#if i keep joking about it i'll feel less embarrassed about posting-

[baalzebufo]

one of my favourite songs of his and i cant believe i didnt see the live recording until like yesterday ... thanks weird al tumblr blogs i follow. for putting germs in my brain

[kittyhazelnut]

You have to kidding when you say lokius or whatever is the superior Loki ship? Just because you ship it that doesn't make it superior. On top of that Mobius is the ugliest person to ever ship loki with

man, fuck off. someone asked me my opinion on Loki ships and I responded with my opinion on Loki ships. this is that whole "everyone on tumblr is chronically online and thinks every post must be About Them Specifically" bullshit I was talking about earlier. a girl can't even call her fav ship superior in her own post about her own ships without some asshole getting mad that I didn't account for Every Single Marvel Fan's Opinion Ever. make your own post about your own favorite Loki ship if you're this bitter idfc just go away

[absolutely-esme]

About the What do you mean he's not Eldritch au

So a while ago, I had this idea for an au.

Now I'm trying to decide between two primary routes the story could follow, if I end up writing it. I can't promise that I'll go with the poll results, or that I'll even write and post the story any time soon, but I'd still like to get some opinions on this (and maybe see if I'd have people to share a story with).

In one Alfred is a human who has no issue with rangling a family of Eldritch entities. In this case, he realizes that Tim is a weird human and not an Eldritch entity the first time he meets him. The Bats' misunderstanding resolves faster, and there are fewer instances of hilarity ensuing due to the misunderstanding.

It will probably also take a bit longer for them to get really close because, once they know he's human, the Bats try to be more careful with Tim and also stop offering advice on how to human properly (feeling a bit embarrassed about trying to tell a human how to act human). ...at least until further misunderstandings are resolved because Tim would dearly like to continue receiving advice on social interaction.

The relationships between the characters will have to overcome the Bats' fear of hurting or upsetting their human friend and both sides' fear of rejection.

There will be angst mixed in with the Crack and fluff. I don't know how much or little.

In the other route, Alfred is an eldritch entity too. He doesn't have the perspective to immediately clock Tim as human. The kids relax around each other and the Bat Family unreservedly welcomes Tim into their fold.

The Bats have no qualms loosening their human guises around their fellow eldritch entities and happily share inside jokes and advice with him. Tim is honored to be trusted with their secrets, allowed to share in parts of their life that they usually keep hidden, and happily shares his own experiences with them. They grow close quickly.

By the time the Bats learn that Tim is human, they've already established that they can be themselves with him and that the advice is appreciated and helpful (it also helps that the reveal comes with an explanation of what autism is).

There's more funny misunderstandings and fluff and less angst in this route.

[inkperch]

What I would change: El

starting off strong with my all around faves (and buying more time for me to actually finish BLs but shh), the Black Eagles.

And swinging right for the fences: Edelgard.

No notes, perfection.

Jokes aside, first thing that comes to mind is getting rid of the stupid joke options in her rat support. Like, god I hated that- I didn't pick either, on my playthrough, and remember that support as one of her more interesting ones, only to see most people remember it for El's scream being cute. Which. Sigh.

Other than that, absolutely give her supports outside of her own house+ Lysithea. Even more than the other Lords, she's the one who needed that, and it baffles me she didn't get it, they would not only allow her to get some juicy conflicting stances on her whole plan, but they would give the game a chance to justify why the other characters are willing to fight and die against their own country. As for the neat character stuff of her only supporting with those in her own house (The whole 'she doesn't let anyone get closer than the mask she wears' thing Edge of Dawn is all about-), just keep all of her other supports locked to post timeskip- hammering home that your actions have allowed her to let down her walls, just a little, and believe that people will follow her even when they know the real her-

Probably for the specifics I'd say the feargus four would need it most on their end of it (to explain why those three would follow her against their actual, genuine, friend in CF) (I'll go into that more when I finish BL when I do the Lions) , Leonie could get a pretty neat one about the fact El is. Kinda sorta absolutely complicit in Jeralts death, and shes going to honour her promise to Jeralt to look out for Byleth, but she's not best pleased with where that path has lead her. And just to even it out between BL and GD, Lorenz would have a fascinating tension with El, given that he'd be aligned with her whether he wanted to be or not, placing him on significantly more shaky ground on whether or not she trusts him-

(Mercedes would also be a good shout for a support, especially seeing as there's a certain someone to motivate you to recruit her on CF, but I feel that would, execution wise, likely end up too similar to Manuela's supports)

Which yeah, just a general aside, I'm absolutely giving all four (yeah four, I'm doing Ashen Wolves too) Lords more supports all around. Lord Supports are like, the place to explore the different routes differing character motives- (not applicable to AW, but doesn't need to be all four of them are getting more supports)

And, one that may be more of a hot take than above: downplay the fuck out of the romantic implications, replace them with Byleth filling the parental void in El's life. This is, to be completely honest, my read of canon anyway, the 'oh look, El's got a crush' moments all read a lot more of a general 'oh look, El's embarrassed to admit she's got a softer side,', and it really enhances the foil status between her and Rhea/Serios to read her relationship with Byleth as her seeing them as a parent and mentor- for. Somewhat self explanatory reasons. Rhea is commiting atrocities to get her mother back, El softens enough to commit far less atrocities because she has someone who can fill that role in her life (and also. She just really needs good parental figures yall-) (I have no doubt I'm gonna feel the same about Dmitri when I'm done with BL, these kids just need parents who aren't dead-)

Also: give her a way to get her hands on Seiros' stuff. Hell, give her only the shield (odds you're using SwordEl are low anyway), tweak Rhea's stats to accommodate and have her always discard it as a sign of just how much she's slipping on a CF route- she's so thoroughly stopped giving a damn about her own safety it's sword only time, get ready to be stabbed-

Let El find it on some routes as like a side quest or a map specific thing (The overall lack of late game optional quests does annoy me a bit overall)

Also on gameplay: pleeeeease let me use El's cool armour look as Wyvern Knight. I wanna see her cool badass armour but I can't because I like being able to move--

One last story note: give us more about El's siblings. Tell us about them, make us feel their absence in the narrative. Probably easier to do through Hubie than through El herself, given her absolute point blank refusal to dwell on the past, but if handled right could work as a show of her character development- she's no longer charging blindly into the future, shes willing to confront the pain of her past. (especially could work if you actually got to fight the Slithers, preferably pre-final-boss, and so get too actually see the part where she finally gets out of her abusers thumb which oh yeah that's a whole chunk of her character I would handle differently that I'm saving for when I get to talking about the Slithers-)

I think that's about it? And yes I did go back to doing these as one per character, it was getting long shh, gonna go through the BE in whatever the hell that order they default too in menus is meant to be, then the Golden Deer, Blue Lions, Ashen Wolves, the church, and then the Slithers (and then probably one or two 'oops I forgot to mention this' posts lol) gonna try and do at least one a day.

[patchesproblem]

I have the strong urge to ramble about Tes and Eins so here I am. Slight warning that my writing may get confusing, so I'm very sorry about that. There'll be my personal headcanons plus other things I feel like talking about. There'll be a few jokes because I need them for my own sanity.

Rambling under the cut

Slight edit while I'm writing: I accidentally hyperfocused on one specific part so oops. I could fix that but I'm not so have fun reading my novel. I'll end up having to make a second post to finish my headcanons off because it's almost eleven and I'm still not done with them sobs.

These two have been living rent free in my head and they're driving me insane.

Tesla is 100% softer in private with Einstein and I will die on this hill. She's still an absolute menace to society, but a gentler one. What I mean by this is that she's more 'open' in a sense.

She lets her guard down purely because she trusts her and knows that she wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Things like feeling safe enough to not wear her glasses / contacts, being vulnerable, showing affection, etc. However if Eins ever teasingly brings it up in front of others she gets flustered and defensive and tells her to shut the fuck up.

Both Tes and Eins are extremely stubborn as well and I will also die on this hill. Literally they'd been in love for years and just refused to admit it because they were embarrassed. Though they were both also horrified that if they did it'd completely destroy their friendship if the other didn't feel the same way, so that played a part in it.

Funniest part is that everyone else knew they were dating before even they knew. They'd been living together for literal years and shared a bed. Totally best friend behavior right there.

Eventually Einstein was the one who caved, though it wasn't intentional and she wanted to disappear off the face of the earth at first.

An important thing to note is that over the years they both created their own way of communicating. They'd essentially developed their own language through the sheer power of mathematics. For a brief explanation on how, they assigned meaning to each string of numbers / equations. To go along with it there was a specific indicator. This helped distinguish messages from their normal work. It was originally made because they wanted to be able to send each other messages when they needed something, but they also just used it to talk to each other without anyone knowing.

The reasoning I bring this up is because it was ultimately what brought them together. At some point Tes was out for a meeting the majority of the day (probably arguing with and or insulting senators or something idk) and Einstein was home for a majority of the day. It was in the middle of winter and the heater for the dorms went down leaving everyones rooms cold. Eventually the cold caused her to become sentimental and made it where she couldn't ignore the repressed feelings, and combine that with the fact Tesla wasn't home she just kinda emotionally died.

Eins journals, and while Tes is aware of it and doesn't care, she keeps a hidden one she doesn't know about. Although at this point both of them were fully comfortable talking to each other about anything, it was one of those things that she still needed sometimes. Writing was (still is) one of the main ways she copes with difficult events / emotions.

Considering at this point neither was sure what the other thought she couldn't just talk to her about it. This was one of those moments where she needed to either write or talk with someone, and she didn't want to bother anyone. After a while she eventually dug out her second journal and started writing (basically rambling) using theire math language (because it was less embarrassing, plus if anyone else found it they'd think it was just part of her work). Originally she had planned to just put it up before Tes came home, but unfortunately for her she just completely forgot time existed for a few hours.

Tes did end up coming home around ten at night and sat down by Eins, exhausted and just wanting to be with her. She eventually glanced down to see what she was working on. Although it took her a minute to process what she was reading, she eventually realized and went completely still and channeled her inner lobster turning bright red. Eins eventually realized she was there and when she turned to tell her hi she quickly realized time was actually a thing and that Tes was not, in fact, completely illiterate.

They just stared at each other neither knowing what to say, and Einstein just wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Eventually she decided to make an attempt at speaking, though she couldn't really get it out without stuttering. "T.. Tesla I-"

Tesla just kinda sat there before forcing herself to say they needed to talk, and proceeding to stand up and immediately tripping trying to go back to their room.

After about twenty to thirty minutes of Einstein just pacing back and forth preparing herself to get absolutely murdered and freaking out internally, she forced herself to actually go talk to her. Though Joachim probably got several texts along the lines of "Fuck. She knows this isn't a drill please help me." and him just essentially replying with "lmao good luck" and proceeding to go to bed. (Tesla had texted him less than ten minutes before freaking out. He was just happy they both were being forced to talk and he could be left alone. Both him and Joyce deserve financial compensation because they were both stuck in the middle of this for years. Joyce only escaped because he decided to just die on them and hid himself specifically so he didn't have to deal with their insanity.)

Eventually she poked her head into their room to see Tes just sitting on their bed. Just staring at the picture of them that was normally on her nightstand looking like she was about to cry, not even noticing her there.

Eventually she just said "Tes can I come in." Causing Tesla to get startled and look up before just nodding her head and looking down. The insanity continued, with Einstein trying to apologize and Tesla just telling her to stop, meanwhile on the verge of tears. After a few minutes of silence, Tesla eventually looked up and just asked her if she meant what she wrote. Einstein said yes, crying insued and they were finally together officially.

Joachim was now faced with a new problem of them being happier than ever and refusing to shut up. The Welts never win.

[watery-pancake]

Short Story

Idk why I've been posting them lately. Or rather, just the last two posts. I think I do, a little.

I've been talking to F less lately. I'm pulling away, getting bored. It always happens, right once I'm comfortable with someone, I start to miss the fights and the sleepless nights filled with dread and anxiety. It's a poisonous drug I'm addicted to. I miss him so much, but I feel like asking to come over will make me weak and pathetic.

I told him about it. About an experience growing up. I won't go into detail, because I don't want to start shaking. It was during finals week, and I'd just about burnt myself out from the sheer amount of studying I was doing. I was at his house, and he was a saint. He made sure I ate, held me while I sobbed how overwhelmed I was and spoke such soft words I never thought I could hear from him. He's usually the type that when I say something really personal about my feelings for him he just shoots me a thumbs up or says "oh cool". I know it's from how awkward he is with expressing this kind of stuff.

Or maybe it isn't as mutual as I hope it is.

Idk.

Whatever, that's not the point. The point is I burnt myself out to the point that even a small trigger to those locked memories just made me explode. It's not something I ever thought I'd tell him. Or anyone. I always wanted to keep it inside, safe, where no one could know about the years I experienced this.

I feel like he judges me. He doesn't say it. But I feel it in the silences. That I'm dirty and disgusting. Worthless piece of human garbage. Pathetic for letting it happen.

I keep showering, to the point the skin on my upper arms is becoming red and painful. No amount of scrubbing will make me feel clean. I go over the same areas, trying desperately to find new parts to clean. I eat more out of anxiety, disgusted by the shape my body can never change from. I clean dishes, my hands too, even if they are pruned I keep washing.

I keep seeing his messages pop up, and I have to hold myself back to respond, like a dog on a leash. I just think about how he knows what happened to me and how he must just feel pity for me at this point. Or wants to use me as a joke for how stupid I must have been. It haunts me.

I bought a bottle of bourbon a couple of weeks ago, but never touched it. I got it kind of as a sign of "I'm doing well in life, let me be one of those pretentious people who has a fancy sounding alcohol instead of the cheap vodkas I usually get." I didn't plan on drinking it, ever, until the other day when I just broke down.

I couldn't stop shivering despite how warm the room was, or freaking out despite my calming environment. Nothing was wrong, but it felt so wrong to let this secret of myself out. I promised myself to tell no one. No one can ever know this disgusting thing happened.

I was so stupid, that in a vulnerable state I let myself speak. I'd never said it out loud before, nor gone through the mental process to think of the men. I'd just remembered "oh that happened" and that was it. No details, like the ones that he heard. He just laid there and listened. And I am disgusted in me.

I wish I could run away forever. Forget I ever happened. I'm hoping a little that happens, kind of. Go back to the same bullshit I did with Tristen by socially isolating myself from absolutely everyone and everything in my life for years on end. I'm exhausted of human interaction. I'm exhausted by myself.

I don't know why I keep journaling. I know in years that I'll feel too embarrassed by my pretentious language and how dumb I'm being when it seems like common sense what I should do. It's not like anyone is gonna read it anyways. I guess it does help, to at least let it out to something that can't judge or criticize me. I can talk to F, but he'll try to fix it.

I can't be fixed, and I don't know how to explain that to him.

[1d1195]

EXACTLY WHAT I THINK TOO! Which is why I full on thought you had a brother lol And it's sweet that your sister helps you out! What is your style though or like aesthetic that you tend to gravitate towards?

My dad wants to look more into the native tribes around the area he was born because apparently his grandmother spoke a fluently a native language?! Crazy lol And honestly bestie I support you unleashing extended family DRAMA! It's for the ✨plot✨. Oddly enough I've mentioned to my mom she should do one but she fears it will cause drama on her side and dare I say i would like to see that unfold lol

I LOVE a good deal so whenever I have time/energy I am in there! I forgot that you were like a full on young adult when they were popular which makes more sense because although it was definitely a CHOICE on my end I was a child lol. BUT I understand why you were hesitant and that's okay!

I GET IT SO MUCH ABOUT BEING EMOTIONAL!! And it hard to have so much love to give yet the people who you want to show it too don't accept it or it's just not expressed in a way that feels like its for you. That post right there is such a good example, I loved reading it! And I think overall the act of being SEEN is so fulfilling and craving that is valid! Expressing love or anything remotely "soft" depending on your environment can be draining and sometimes feels embarrassing since your the only one. But it seems you have so much to give because that's natural to you and that's not weird at all. It's hard to be the first one to do things that may seem "weird" but it's YOU, you can't keep suppressing the love that you have, it may feel/sound selfish but trying for yourself is enough! easier said than done you deserve that nourishment that you give to other too!

AND SAM YOU LITTERALLY SAID WHAT MY THERAPIST HAS SAID TO ME HAHA But really though i feel so much and so the instances where I have gotten hurt for sure have closed myself off but I do appreciate you saying those things💗

I had such a BUSY weekend that the book was not on my mind at all lol BUT I DID GO TO A CONCERT AND IT WAS GREAT! I needed that honestly and so worth the lack of sleep lol Which explains why my reply is so late so sorry for the wait! But I hope yours was good at least!

Now... THE BALCONY EXTRA 😭 Tell my why I had a feeling she was going to be pregnant😭 and the way HARRY FIGURED IT OUT 😭 ugh it was so cute seeing how he was trying to not freak out haha and I love the comedy aspect that you add to your stories like that pee joke was hilarious i giggled lol That was such a cute little extra it made my heart feel so warm! Great as always!! Also side note, that divider was so cute!!

Ily so much Sam! Hope the week is treating you well!-💜

LOL style. I think it's called "millennial-retro classic" ☠ I don't think I have style. I am a skinny jeans, cardigan, side-parted hair (granted my hair is frizzy/wavy/curly so I look like a serial killer with a middle part), ballet flats kinda girl. But I'm also a teacher so I feel like I dress like one most of the time. This looks like how I dress:

I'm pretty reserved when it comes to clothing but I almost don't care? It's just pretty much I buy what I want to buy. I'm a leggings/jeans and t-shirt combo on my days off hehehe. What's your style like?

I don't want to pry into your family life too much but it sounds like you could snag a GREAT deal on your FAFSA if your fam is such a high % Native 👀 Also on the family thread, I love the vibe. I'll let you know if the drama is ever unfolded in my life. I just like the vindication of being right. It's petty and mean of me but the family I love but don't like is often two-faced and I think they could all be knocked down a peg.

I went to an extremely judgmental high school (I know every high school is like that) but I grew up in a pretty affluent/vacation/trendy area and it felt like I was less for not having real Uggs or a NorthFace jacket. Then I went to college and everyone was like "just get it at Target" and I was like "WHERE?!" Eye-opening. The real stuff they don't tell you about college hahaha

I never expect anyone to take my advice but I know since we're so similar it's nice to hear from other people what you want to hear (even if you don't use the advice) it's kind of like confirmation? So of course, do what you have to do and live your life how you see fit. I just don't want you to have any regrets 💕

A CONCERT how nice! Who was the concert for? It sounds like a nice pick me up! My weekend was once more exhausting. My school district has their spring break next week. ALSO I was in the partial eclipse path yesterday and it was SO cool and just what the little astronomer in me needed 💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH. (Tbh I think I'm hilarious--I'm my own target audience) but of course it's so nice to hear that you think my humor fits in well enough to my stories! I really didn't know what to do with them so I thought making her pregnant might be a vibe hahaha I'm glad you enjoyed as always!!

Glad you had a good weekend and hope you're having a good week too!

xoxo

[jlhatesdrawing]

:: Split Personality::

Speaking of Split Personality it Seems Every time I'm in Section there seems to be long drawn out game having of being played. I can't wonder more sometimes if I'm actually under a manhunt, even in my hometown people seem to congregate around the places I visit, it's a small place but for 20,000 people I only see a few characters. How I see it as I type that I'm supposed loser, but there no bitching. And I wasn't joking either the amount new models cars after a weekend out was embarrassing for them, speak more of split personality I seem to jump into what I'm typing before I realise what's next to think about. But this is in action. My condition doesn't feel like an illness but getting more clean, less anxiety, more topics more attitude in life but of my own. I don't see looking back on the message as if there scary or horrifying I'm not sure if I actually got more care for health or not. But like I said I knew weeding out would of been better than sticking with normal life as it was going. I guess you can only sell drugs once, it's seems impossible to remise that opinion when the depiction keeps changing, I'll try post a screenshot of today's paper but it seems that the obvious opinion still lingers seeing that a person in this ward. Completely and positivity with the acceptance brought up in my mind, is being treated with denial. Still though trust no one, all points back to raves though. Why bring up caring about raves. There two images one of today's paper, and one of today's thoughts.

Edit: Reading the Paper After was looking back into the late 90's, was a Nigel farage a politician then, I think he was. The paper to be completely normal but compared I read before almost every other day it didn't feel like it was targeting me.

[pxrxcxa]

Mean to the bone 

Pairing | Eddie x Female reader 18+.

Post summary | Y/n feels like her and Eddie are on the path of normality (finally), but when feelings get just a little too real and intense, it sends Eddie running back into the comfort of his old ways.

What to expect | Angst, Jealousy, Eddie being a bad liar and shutting off because he can't handle his feelings (and is a dick about it yes).

Post Warnings | 18 + smut, f oral, p in v unprotected, drug and underage drinking mention.

Word count | 5.2 K words

As always, any & all comments/reblogs are most appreciated - Take care, P. x 🌻

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Authors Note | Once you've read this, please don't worry lovely's, I have decided to turn this into a series with quite a few more to come. As long as you'll keep reading them, I'll keep writing them. Enjoy x 🌻

I didn’t have to turn to sense Eddie behind me, the tingle his presence sent up my spine and seeing my lab partner shrink under a hidden glare across from me, was enough to tip me off. I rolled my eyes as he gave a quieted yelp and practically ran away from where we were standing at my locker, exchanging biology notes. 

“Do you try to scare people on purpose, or does it just come naturally to you?” I pretended to scowl as he slid from behind me into view, his sarcastic smirk set a genuine smile across my face as he leaned against the open door of my locker, blocking it to demand my attention. His hand shot up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear as I shoved my books in past him, his fingers brushed lightly against the skin of my cheek, leaving a burning red mark behind as he devoured the sight. I dropped my eyes as the intensity of his stare sent butterflies through my frame. 

“Only the ones that try to steal my girl.” His words sent a thrill through me, but I held my breath, hardly daring to believe his words. Even after yesterday in the woods, in the morning light of clarity while I tossed and turned in my bed before school, I had struggled to wrap my head around my feelings, or his.

“Jealous much?” I choked out, glancing up through my lashes to see his expression darken. I back pedalled because he shot me a grimace that said he wasn’t in the mood for my jokes.  

“And I don’t think Simon’s much of a threat Eddie, kid is five foot and scared of his own shadow, much less yours.” I tried to move him so I could close my locker, but he remained rooted to the spot. I gulped as he moved closer to me, wrapping his hand around the side of my neck and resting his fingers along my jaw and behind my ear to tilt my head back. 

“I don’t care.” My breathing faltered at his words as I felt the stares of our classmates passing us in the hallway pressing in from all sides.

“Everyone needs to know you’re mine.” 

His lips leant down to brush against mine when the bell rang, I jumped back from his grasp in fright, letting the cool air that swirled in the distance between our bodies wipe away the heady desire that threatened to take over my logical sense of mind. Eddie looked disappointed as his hand hesitated in the air, the bright spark in his eyes flaring as I swung my bag up higher on my shoulder and turned away from him. 

“I have to get to class.” His firm hand shot out to trap my wrist in a surprisingly soft grasp as he tugged me back, spinning me around until he had me pinned against the metal wall of lockers, practically hiding me from view behind his wide shoulders as he closed the distance between us. The bustle of students loudly making their way to the next class drowned out my embarrassing whimper that escaped me as Eddie grinned down at me. 

“Just, wait a second.” He tapped my chin with his finger as I dropped my gaze. 

“I want to see you again… woods?” He smirked as I smacked at his chest, shoving him away slightly before he pushed back in against my body even closer than before. 

A mistake. 

I could feel every hard, seductive, plane of his body rubbing into mine. I dug my nails into my palms to clear my head. 

“Uh uh, no way. It is freezing. I’m not going out there until next summer Eddie.” I laughed as he watched my lips. 

“Okay… well I’m seeing you one way or another tonight so unless you want me turning up at your doorstep with flowers to ask your dad for permission to take you out on a date…” He gave a condescending half smirk as he let his words trail off like they were a bad thing, but the image they painted sent an aching longing and sadness through me. 

“Fine.” I chewed on my lip as a familiar light laugh tinkled over the raucous noise, bouncing off the walls of the corridor. I squinted through the crook of Eddie’s elbow, spying Nancy’s buoyant curls bouncing as she hung off Steve’s arm while they thundered down the corridor, headed straight towards us. Panic shot through me as the intimacy of our position made it feel like there was a bright light shining down on us, exposing us to every pair of prying eyes. 

I wasn’t ready for Nancy to find out about Eddie, not this way. 

“Okay fine.” I spat again, speaking quickly before Nancy could notice us huddled against my locker. 

“I’m going to a party tonight, come with me.” His breath washed over me as he pushed off from against the wall,  crossing his arms as he rolled his eyes at me.

“It’s not exactly a party, not really. My friend Nancy… She’s kind of dating Harrington, you could come and meet her?” My own question quietened as he stared back at me with a mean, patronising look. 

“What? Cause… we’re kind of dating?” His words sounded right, but the way he laughed them at me sent a stabbing pain of rejection through me as my face fell. 

He laughed loudly again, earning the attention of passers-by as he leant forward to wipe the wetness his lips had left against mine with his rough thumb.

“Sure y/n.” He humoured me, pressing his cold fingers against my cheek harshly before spinning away from me, his vest flung out behind him as he strode away, shoving people out of his path. 

“Hey y/n.” I snapped my eyes away as I watched Eddie disappear around the corner, Steve and Nancy had pushed through the throng of bustling students as they came to a standstill in front of me, his aqua puffer vest crinkled as he slung his arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his side to keep her close. I groaned and rolled my eyes as Steve nestled his mouth against her neck, making Nancy giggle as his styled hair tickled her chin, her eyes met mine as an annoyed sound tumbled from my lips at their sickening PDA. 

“Harrington.” I nodded in greeting, pressing my lips together. They looked great together, and she’d been pining over him for our entire three years of high school, but I was worried that he’d hurt my sweet best friend. Steve didn’t exactly have the best reputation when it came to women, I’d spent too many days of my life watching him chase and throw away a tonne of girls over the years like they were interchangeable objects. 

“Are you coming tonight?” Nancy’s face was flushed with excitement as Steve shot her a side look. 

Shit

Eddie might have had a joking tone when he brought up hanging out tonight, but I knew he’d hunt me down whether I was at home or Steve’s party, I couldn’t leave Nancy on her own tonight, but I also couldn’t have him rocking up at Steve’s doorstep with a pocket full of drugs, a cheeky smile and bad intentions. 

If he actually decided to come tonight, I had to warn them. 

“Yeah I am, but uh Steve, d’ya mind if I bring someone? A plus one or whatever?” I bit down on my lip as Nancy shot me a puzzled look. 

“Sure. As long as they bring grog or weed, they’re cool. Anyone who provides is welcome at the Harrington residence.” He spread his arms wide as a cocky smile shot across his face, his basketball teammates thundered down past the hallway at that moment, slapping him on his back as they swept him up in the crowd, hoots of laughter echoed down the corridor as Nancy raised her hand in a small wave as Steve disappeared with them. 

“Who is your friend?” She turned back to me and lifted her hand to pinch a stray thread off my shoulder, smoothing out the material as I wrapped my fingers around her arm, quickly tugging her down the hall towards the girls bathroom.

“I have to tell you something.” I dropped my grip from her as we shot through the entrance and quickly pushed open each stall door, checking that we were alone before I dropped my bag against the tiled floor as I spun around to face her. 

I took a deep breath to calm myself as Nance knotted her brows together in concern, a confused smile playing on the corner of her lips as I let out the shaky breath. 

“Y/n, what’s –“ she started before I waved my hands in the air. 

“It’s Eddie.” I cut her off, watching her eyes dart around us as she processed my words. 

“What?” She blinked in surprise. 

“It’s Eddie, he’s my plus one.” I let out a heavy gust of air as I told her the truth. 

“Oh. Oh. So he asked you out?” Her eyes lit up in excitement before they clouded with doubt and confusion. “Wait, I thought when you took Mike to their club it didn’t go well?...” She trailed off. 

“It didn’t…” I admitted, crossing my arms and turning to stare out the dirty small window sitting high on the wall behind us. Nancy was silent as she waited for me to continue. 

“He was really rude and mean,  but we… hooked up. Or half hooked up I don’t know. We didn’t have sex we just did stuff and…” There was a sharp intake of a breath before her voice cut through the air in a shrill. 

“WHAT.” My eyes widened and flashed to the door as I made a shushing gesture at her. 

“Why the hell did you hook up if he was a jerk?” She whispered back fiercely at me as she moved closer. My stomach dropped as I wrestled with my answer. 

“Well, I don’t know, I ended up confronting him about it and the way he looked at me I just – and then he…“ I stumbled over my words as they made me blush. 

“Oh. My. God.” She squealed, reaching out to wrap her thin, bony fingers into my arm. 

“…was it… good?” She grinned, I let out an exasperated sigh at the glowing interest on her face, the memories of the feeling of Eddie’s body above mine made me shiver. 

Was it good? He had me going back for more in less than a day.

My thoughts must have shown on my face because Nancy let out an ear bleeding squeal of delight. 

“You have to tell me everything. So is inviting him tonight about… going all the way with him?” She questioned, raising her brows at me. 

“Well…” I bit the corner of my lip and avoided her eyes

Nancy shot forward to smack my arm, her mouth dropping open in shock and surprise. She walked backwards towards the bench, swiping paper towels out of the way as she leant back on her hands and pulled herself up to sit on the tabletop as she watched me, swinging her legs back and forth as she waited in high anticipation for me to dive into the dirty details.

“After his Hellfire thing, I went to his place. It was… bad. Not the sex.” I shook my head at her as her mouth turned down in pity. “No, the sex was… incredible. I’ve never experienced anything like it. Or him. But he was just so mad… and cold. We were making out and he… bit me.” I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I steeled myself to tell Nancy the rest of it. 

She made an approving noise in the back of her throat and muttered the word Kinky as I laughed. 

“I hit him.” I admitted with a guilty scowl, I was slow to look back up at her through my fluttering lashes as she stared at me in confusion, with just a little disgust clouding her features. “I know – I know. It was fucked up of me to do it, he just hurt me and caught me off guard.” I paused to let it sink in as she chewed on the inside of her cheek, thinking over my words. 

“And then he hit me back – it wasn’t right! What either of us done, I don’t know what happened we just both so heated and then –“ Her eyes shot back up to mine in a flash, anger and hurt radiated off of me and flowed between us as she shuffled off the bench towards me. 

“What happened after?” She pressed, cupping my cheek as they flamed in embarrassment. 

“Actually…” I grinned sheepishly as her arm dropped, peering into my clenched hands as she stared back at me, scandalized. 

“No way. Were you guys not like? Angry?” She scoffed.

She gasped as I nodded and smiled. “Is that what you’re into y/n?” 

“I mean, sometimes yeah. It’s… intense and passionate. Every other guy is so boring compared to him Nancy. Yeah its rough and it feels so good it painful, but it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.” Nancy’s own face flushed at my words as she pursed her lips to hold back a smile.  

“I just thought you’d be into someone gentle and caring I dunno… Did he at least apologise?’ I strode over to the sink to splash some cold water against the back of my neck, patting the palms against my cheeks as my skin burned. 

“He did.” I nodded, leaning against the bench to face her. “Yesterday we met in the woods, and he told me how sorry he was. He also showed me that he was sorry.” She puckered her lips and smiled at the look on my face. 

“He kind of opened up a bit as well Nance, told me a few things. I know he seems angry and mean all of the time, and he can be, but he’s a good guy. At least I think he is.” 

“Okay.” Her light laughed tinkled in the space between us as her eyes flashed with something deeper. “As long as he’s not going to hurt you again.” I shook my head quickly, clenching my hands around the lip of the bench. 

“He promised.” 

“Okay… so are you guys like dating or what?” She giggled, skipping over the tiles to grab my hands and swing them between us. 

“I honestly don’t know, he so… confusing. He has the worst mood swings of anyone I’ve ever met. I think I’m going to talk to him tonight at the party.” 

If he actually shows 

The bathroom door slammed back against the white paint chipped wall springing me out of my thoughts and breaking Nancy and I apart, we both swiped up our bags in a panic that it was a teacher busting us for being late to class, but it was just a confused freshman that haltered at the door as we shoved past her, the last bell ringing throughout the now empty corridor. 

“Nancy, there’s like, a lot of people here.” It looked like Steve Harrington had invited the entire population of Hawkins, were there even this many high school students at our school? 

I grabbed her arm and moved closer to her as our heels clicked into the cold night air, seniors that I vaguely recognised littered the front lawn of Steve’s house, cheering on some jock that was upside down and guzzling a beer keg. We side stepped empty cans and cigarette butts as we made our way up the driveway, shivering as the cold wind riffled our short dresses around our thighs. 

I tightened my grip and swung my head around as a wolf-whistle erupted on our right side, spying one of the basketball guys that regularly hung around Steve, raising his drink in greeting towards Nancy and me. 

“Looking good y/n.” He smirked, taking a drag of his smoke and raising an eyebrow at me. I gave him a small smile and sped up, dragging Nancy along as she giggled in my ear. 

“I didn’t think it was going to be this big.” She promised , cringing into my side as a group of drunk guys stumbled across in front of us, nearly barrelling straight through us. The night sky was clear, and the moon beamed down onto the scene beneath it, illuminating each crevice and exposing the bad behaviour. We didn’t bother knocking over the loud music as we reached the front door, I reached out to turn the handle and shoves it open, tripping immediately into the packed hallway as the dancing bodies that swayed back and forth jostled us as we made our way slowly through it. 

“Where’s Steve?” Nancy screamed in my ear, twisting her hand at the edge of my jacket that ended just beneath my rib cage. Her lips quivered as she ducked and weaved behind me as some random girl pushed between us, pressing her palm to her mouth as she her cheeks filled with vomit. I clutched the grocery paper bag filled with our mixed drinks tighter against my chest as they clanged together quietly. The mixed stench of weed and tobacco and sweat assaulted us as the thick haze settled over head. The yellow glow from the patio lights seeped into the kitchen as we pushed through, grouping at the marble countertop to catch our breath. 

Nancy tugged on my sleeve as she pointed out through the open glass doors, Steve was laughing and chugging something dark out of a red cup. I slid my bag further up my shoulder as I followed her out into the cold night air, the music was less loud outside but the deck beneath our feet vibrated with the bass. Steve spied us and waved Nancy over, smiling wildly as we crossed the grass on the balls of our feet as we wobbled in our high shoes dangerously. I swung my eyes across the crowded yard as I looked for the flash of a familiar denim vest or thick head of dark curls. 

She disappeared into the arms of Steve as his friend slid up beside me, with a jolt and a cautious smile as I recognised him as his basketball teammate from earlier. 

“We meet again.” He smirked, handing me a full cup of amber coloured liquid, I took a careful sniff, I shook my head and gasped as the fumes nearly knocked me on my ass, turning my back on him so I could keep my eye on the back door in case Eddie decided to show up after all. 

“Uh yeah. Sorry what was your name?” His response was lost on me as I noticed Eddie by the back gate, he was dressed head to toe in black with chains lining the pocket and heavier ones around his neck that matched his rings. His cigarette dropped low from the corner of his mouth as his eyes were locked on me, Tommy H slid a large bill into his large palm and pocketed the small bag that slipped through his fingers. My stomach twisted uncomfortably as his heavy gaze flickered between me and jock next to me as he swung his arm around my shoulders, I stumbled under his weight as something dangerous flashed in Eddie’s gaze. I quickly shook it off as Eddie took an angry step towards us and my breath froze in my throat as I watched something fight behind his eyes, he seemed to settle on a decision as he spun on his heels, turning his back on me as he tromped across the concreted stones beneath him towards the back door. 

I shoved the bag of alcohol in my arms into the unsuspecting ones of the guy next to me without a word, tearing across the grass after Eddie as he quickly disappeared into the crowd. I shoved screaming girls out of my way as a new popular song started up on the radio, dodging their hands that waved in the air to accompany their embarrassing dance moves. 

“Eddie.” My yell was drowned out as the rift of the music blared off the walls. 

His jacket shook as he roughly shoved people up against the walls as he passed them, leaving a wake of outraged cries as I followed behind, muttering apologies for him as I closed in quickly. His hand shot out to wrap around the circular doorknob of a nearby door, slamming in shut in frustration as he peered in to find a bathroom. 

He paused as he reached out for another door, flexing his hand around it as I reached his elbow and tugged on his arm. Eddie shook me off angrily and thundered through the door frame, swearing as he stumbled into the middle of a vacant guest room, I followed him in quickly and spun around to slam the door close behind me, sliding the lock into place as it drowned out the music and cluster of drunk voices. 

“What are you doing?” I asked gently as he took in his surroundings, the soft glow of a reading lamp casted long shadows along the angry panes of his face and lit up his bright brown eyes as he spun back to face me with an annoyed look on his face. 

“Looking for the goddamn front door.” He spat, running his hands through his hair roughly. 

“What’s wrong?” He stared at me with a scathing look as he reached for his cigarettes in his vest pocket, I wrapped my arms around my chest as the cold anger radiating off of him made me tremble. 

“Was it that guy? So you are jealous Eddie.” I tried to laugh it off to lighten the mood as my own nerves hiked up, wanting to go back and join the party and have fun, maybe even to introduce him to Nancy as more than a friend. 

He sighed heavily and slammed his hand against the wooden panelling of the cupboard, making the mirror attached to the doors shake. He turned to face me, running his penetrating gaze up and down my body, tracing the lines of my curves that the skin-tight red dress that I’d stolen from Nancy, clung to. I shrunk away as his eyes flicked back up to my face, biting down on his lip as his chest heaved and he smirked. 

“What’s wrong is you in that fucking dress y/n. It should be illegal to look that good. I don’t want anyone to see you like this again except for me.” 

In a split second he tore across the room, wrapping his hands around my hips as he pinned me against the door, making me lean up on my toes as he reached down to caress the sides of my thighs and hitched the dress to bunch up around my waist. I gasped as he locked his arms around the back of my knees, lifting me up so that I was straddling him while he took long strides across the room. Eddie untangled my hands from behind his neck to lower me softly onto the made bed, pulling back as he traced kisses over the dress to stuck to my stomach. I moaned and reached out up to him, curling my fingers as he straightened up and smirked down at me. 

“I am going to fuck you so good that you’re ruined for every guy after me y/n.”

His hands fell to his belt as his promise sounded in my ears, making be blush as he shrugged out of his jacket, letting it tumble to the floor as he reached up to tear his shirt over his head. His shook his stuck curls out of the collar as he crawled back down on top of me, Eddie reached down to pull up my leg around his waist as he grinded me into the mattress through our clothes. His loose belt banged against my clothed slit as he traced his fingertips across my jaw, trapping my lips beneath his, the scent of smoke and whiskey invaded my mind as his tongue swirled around mine. He wrapped his arm around my wrist as I reached up to pull on his hair, pinning it against the sheets beside us as his mouth trailed over my sternum. 

I gasped and moaned his name as free hand traced along my stomach and across my inner thigh, moving agonizingly slowly until his fingers flicked across my pulsing clit. His dark eyes flashed up to meet mine from where he hesitated between my legs as a begging whimper tumbled through my lips. 

He wasn’t gentle, or soft or even patiently teasing like he had been in the woods as he ripped my panties to the side and buried his face against my puffy lips. I arched and gripped at the sheets next to me to keep my body floating away, his head moved in time with my grinding as I moved against his face, moaning, and screaming his name with each warm and rough lick he flicked up and down my slit. Eddie devoured me like a starving man, like the second he walked out of the room I was going to disappear. His groan sent a violent vibration throughout my frame as my orgasm threatened and lapped at the edges. 

I swore as Eddie pounded his long, skilled finger far inside of me, curling it up against a spot that made me squirm in the same pattern as his tongue rolled along my throbbing bud. 

I felt him grin against my thigh as my walls fluttered around his finger. I had barely whispered his name before he shot up and pinned me beneath him, wrenching my legs apart as he shimmied his jeans down his legs a few inches and wrapped his hands around my hips to angle me towards him. 

“Eddie please-“ My begging was cut off in a sigh of pleasure as he buried his dripping length inside of me, he collapsed against the crook of my neck as he thrusted against me, burying my deeper and deeper into the mattress as I begged for more. He grunted my name over and over into my soft skin and I twisted my fingers in his hair, brushing the strays out of his eyes as I turned my head to meet his stare. I flash of nerves and happiness shot through me as his eyes met mine and he slowed to a stop. Eddie leaned back up to hover over as he reached down to press a kiss to my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut as a tear sprung to the corner of both them. 

“Look at me.” His voice was sturdy and forceful as he wiped a fallen tear away. 

“I can’t lose you.” I murmured, griding my hips back and forth until I could feel him rubbing against my sensitive spot inside of me, something I’d never seen before flashed in his eyes before Eddie groaned in defeat and pounded me harder before, burying his head against my chested as he ripped the dress down to take my nipples in his mouth. I turned to bury my head into the silk pillow as my high ripped through me, digging my nails into Eddie’s back and he swore and tensed up. He tore himself away from me with a rude gasp and the instant cold air swirled in the new space between us. 

“Eddie?” I sat up to fix my dress as he ripped himself up from the bed, fiddling with the belt of his jeans as I slowly pulled the straps off my dress up my shoulders.

“You should stay away from me y/n.” His voice was cold and distant as it sent a horrible shiver through me. 

“You promised.” A sob was barely hidden in my throat as he bent down to grab his shirt. “‘Never again’ remember?” I quoted him, anger rising in me as I wiped my smeared lipstick from the corner of my lips. 

“Eddie… I thought this wasn’t going to happen anymore. I thought you were like that just so you could protect yourself but you – why are you acting like you’re mean to the bone Eddie?.” I flung up from the bed, trying to block the doorway as my dress rode up against my hips, I pulled it back in frustration as he avoided my eyes, looking over my head as he softly shoved me out of his way. 

“Because I am, and always will be.” He snapped, his voice breaking. 

“Go find someone who deserves you.” He glanced down quickly to where I stood beneath him, shaking as his words curled around my heart like poison. 

“No. You are not doing this.” I shook my head as my yell built in my throat as I shoved myself back in his way. 

“Y/n… we’re too different. Look at this fucking place, your friends wouldn’t look twice at me if they didn’t want drugs. I’m just trailer trash to them. Your destined to be with some rich jock and have three kids and live in a perfect house with a white picket fence. You’ll get bored eventually… and leave. I’d rather do it my fucking self than hang around and wait for you to get tired of me.” He swung his arms wide as I recoiled from him, he wasn’t making sense, I couldn’t see where this was coming from, my breathing slowed as I stared back at the mussed sheets where our warm, entangled bodies had been moving in perfection just mere moments ago. 

My anger and hurt hit a boiling point. 

“You think I’m going to leave? After everything you’ve done and said I stayed Eddie, have I not proved that? You’ve hurt me a lot of times Eddie, but I’m still here.” I yelled up at his jaw, reaching up to pull his face down so he could see what he was doing to me. 

“That’s exactly right, I hurt you. You’re too good for me. I don’t deserve you.” He pulled my hands away from him, tightening his fingers around my wrist as I fought to hold back tears. The lines of his face were hard and unrelenting as he closed his eyes to take a breath. 

“You were right before, I was jealous. Because you’re the kindest person I’ve ever met and deserve everything in the fucking world. I can’t give that to you. I am only ever going to live up to the Munson name y/n.” His stare was full of generational pain as he let go of me and nudged me out of the way, taking a step forward to walk out of my life completely. 

He froze with his hand wrapped around the door handle, the muscles in his back tensing through his shirt as my yell echoed around us. 

“I’d take you over everything in this goddamn fuckin universe… I love you Munson.” 

Part 5

GUYS - don't worry because I want to write a part 5 & I'm going to load you up with so much fluff and lovesickness and cuteness and Eddie being a softie that you're not going to be able to handle it. I just needed him to realise how strong his feelings are & that scared him back to being a dick :) stay tuned for the next one x

Readers - if anyone is looking for a slow burn Eddie x y/n, check out my Opposite Ends series :)

➢ Eddie Tag List } Let me know what ya'll thought about part 4 :)

@mayafatimakhan @edwardmunsonsslut @lacrymosa-24 @mavex @fckyeahlames @harrys-tittie @eddieshot86 @sl-tfor-joseph-quinn @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @chickennug90 @miss-momma-drama @stardustmunson @luceneraium @eddiesgffff @sammararaven @nightless @dotslabyrinth @relocatedheads @princessbubblehoe @muggleluna @sagittariughs @gloryekaterina @e0509 @prettysauceyy @urlivingdeadgirl @crimsonsabbath @lem0nb0iii @callsfromshe @lelenikki @bebe0701 @bratckerman @the-tacos-unite-blog @extravagantplant @plethoravellichor @justmesadgirl @corrodedcorpses @fanfictioniseverything @callsfromshe @iiheartu @maximizedrhythms @sleepygery @ms1oftheboys @brittanyyydamnit @xsecretsirenx @clincallyonline17 @goldyghoul @tlclick73 @aaaasdfghjjkkllll @relocatedheads @aquamarieco @figmentofquinn @daydreamerblues @hellfire-puppet @wonderful-outcast @drakensmainbitch @princessbubblehoe @iamaslutforcoffee @emolooswrld @tayhar811 @winterbuckystan1943-1917-1982 @eddiesgffff @alana4610 @munson-fixation @princesscutie23 @random000000sblog @leahthesith @ariesbabycitlaly @harringtonfan4

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[lgcheewon]

hi hello and thank you for the warm welcomes. i'm new (they/them) and i'm... new lol more importantly, this is heewon and he's an aspiring rapper who likes coffee and cracking the type of jokes that make you laugh before wondering "wait is he ok?" i have a tl;dr under the cut, but you can find an even shorter one on his stats page here. feebly cobbled together some plot ideas too!

i don't have a twitter or anything of the sort, but if you're down to plot and don't mind doing it the old-fashioned way in ims, feel free to like this post and i'll hit you up when i can (or feel free to im me first)!

heewon (you can also call him won) is not an interesting guy. or so he'll tell you! he doesn't like it when people have too many expectations of him. makes it too easy to disappoint, y'know?

born and raised in nyc, he's the eldest of three and the kind of prodigal son that parents who put too much money into cram school and the like weep about. he's born to a well-off family, but has no real interest in anything but music (and this is apparent early on), and even that's a stretch.

he doesn't really think about pursuing anything as a performer himself until he auditions for lgc on a whim and actually gets invited to be a trainee. by then he's kind of on the older side and it feels like a crapshoot, but hey. it's almost been three years. maybe he's doing something right? or wrong? who tf knows lmao.

he's chill, mellow, laidback, easygoing, etc. and he very much so floats on by at his own pace. he comes across as pretty aloof sometimes, but he doesn't mind small talk and he doesn't mind meeting new people! with the obligatory downside that he probably won't remember your name. no hard feelings, really. it's just hard for him to care enough! (ok. sorry. maybe some hard feelings?)

he is a hard worker when it counts but he's never joking when he asks you to keep your expectations low. he doesn't like disappointing people and it's easier when the bar's closer to the ground. does he work hard? yeah. but does he want you to know that? not really. he cracks a lot of jokes at his own expense to mask the weird kind of self-esteem issues he has. perks of being the failed first son, am i right?

fiercely private when it comes to his personal affairs or emotional issues, he'd rather you think he has very few cares in the world. no hard feelings (for real, this time) or anything. it's just the big brother in him kicking in.

on a lighter note, he's kind of pretentious in the way he likes foreign films and poetry and film photography and pretending he knows a thing or two about loose-leaf tea, but he's also the kind of guy who likes doing a little bit of everything. he's down for most things too. it's hard to embarrass him. everyone has to be "bad" at something, right?

WANTED VIBES

event... stuff.... (pretending like i know what's going on)

childhood friends — he went back and forth between korea and america pretty frequently, especially during the summers. his family has a separate home in seongbuk!

high school friends — he went to high school in korea for about two years (at a foreign school, but he's fluent in korean and english!) before going back to the states for university and then coming back to korea to join lgc.

trainee friends — i'd imagine he probably has a lot but maybe only a few that are actually close-close with him. he's not a cold or frigid person by any means, but he's certainly a lot private and he likes to keep things as lighthearted as possible. he's a nice person to have around! and even when he's less than delightful around his closer friends, he usually tries to keep the sad vibes to a minimum.

antagon???istic??? — ample question marks because he likely would not return any strong negative emotion. please feel free to resent him for literally anything but he's really good at ignoring the things (years of practice, baby) that he doesn't care for so don't expect any sparks!

KEYWORD CONNECTIONS

sugar — did i say no negative emotion? well, i lied! just kidding. but he does resent you a little. it's not really your fault, but for whatever reason, the barista in the company building keeps getting your order confused with his. maybe it's because you two are the only ones who seem to be there at that awkward mid-morning hour? either way, he's getting a little sick of your drink. is it even human to consume something this sweet...?

past — (similar age) hello to the ex he still cares a lot about! he's the type of person who says "sure" to anyone who confesses to him. bad habit? maybe. but what's the harm in giving it a shot? well, maybe there's a little harm when he actually catches feelings. the relationship ends almost as quickly as it starts, and maybe it's because you started off as (and thankfully stayed) friends, but he does think, privately, that in another life, he might have given it a little more effort to make it work.

sibling — his brother/sister has the biggest crush on you and he's been tasked with getting your autograph. but he's bad with faces and even worse with names. isn't it funny, pal, the way his baby sibling's celeb crush has the same stage name as you? the world sure is small—oh.

dawn — he goes for a jog every morning. just because routine keeps him sane and all, and because the rec soccer team he plays on on sundays is way more serious than he thought it would be. while his runs are often pretty uneventful, it's on one morning in particular that he turns a corner too quickly and crashes right into you. did you roll your ankle? sprain it? well, fuck. say the word. he'll be at your beck and call until it heals in penance. consider it good karma.

puppy — (younger) for whatever reason, you have a crush on him. you should get your eyes (or brain) checked when you can, by the way. you've definitely got a screw loose. he's not so inattentive that he doesn't notice, but he sure doesn't want to break any hearts—so he'll pretend he doesn't know. all while pushing you to find someone else to set your sights on. for your sake.

coffee — he likes people watching. he especially likes watching your reaction every time you drop by the coffee shop he works at just to bravely try some of the shop's best (but woefully un-sweetened) coffee. next time he catches you in the legacy building, he'll treat you to some coffee milk. lol. baby.

close — (same age or older) of his best and closest friends, you are his best and his closest friend. it's not by a long shot or anything (he wouldn't want to offend the others, after all), but if there had to be a tier or a hierarchy, you'd probably be at the tippy top. he's comfortable around you. and you make it easy. probably why he's caught some feelings, right? no worries—he wouldn't dream of risking what you're sharing with him. sooner or later, the palpitations will fade. hopefully.

photograph — (similar age) it's a shame you're not really friends anymore but it's always easier to stick with the people who share the same level of ambition and drive as you, huh? he's an overly sentimental person, though. and while he's okay with the fact that you're orbiting different stars now, he still keeps that stupid polaroid of the first sleepless night spent practicing in an eerie studio together in his wallet. or he did. where did he drop it...

[stormblessed95]

Jikook Dynamics Through The Years: 2013

The second half of 2013 in this post here!! The first half of 2013 and earlier can be found in my first post about their dynamics, which covered pre-debut times. Our babies have finally debuted here and we start getting a lot more content to look through and see how things were happening for them. And we get to see more content of them together as a group and how much they were all already so close. Jimin and Jungkook included. Something important to keep in mind that I'll be sharing moments, AND my personal opinions, along with facts. My opinions are my own. You can agree or disagree. I encourage you to go and check it all out, see this content for yourself as well and form your own opinions during this time frame too. But let's get started!

So let's start off literally right after debut. June 14th, bighit tweets out some cute behind the scenes photos, which features jikook, Jimin's head tucked on JKs shoulder and both looking at camera footage from the camera JK is holding. Which goes hand in hand when just a few days later, on June 19th (which is the same day vmin film a log together) the very first bangtan bomb ever is posted. It's less than a minute long but is simply just JK filming Jimin, already zooming right in on his face, which is something that has never changed. Lol we also see Jimin teasing JK a bit here when he tries to film himself in the mirror. When I say Jimin has always been JKs muse....

On 130620, we finally have Jimin and JK back doing a log together again, which they start off with giggles and a bro hug. They still seem a little awkward in front of the camera, but overall they seem happier and much more comfy then they were in their predebut logs. They joke about the choreography being really hard. JK tells us the focal point of their choreo is Jimin's abs and asks JM to please reveal them now to which Jimin looks a little embarrassed. They talk about their lift in the No More Dream choreo as well and how it's really hard and how Jimin feels bad for the hyungs who he keeps kicking as they go (and then I'm just sitting here thinking about how now Kookie is strong enough to lift him completely and his feet never actually kick anyone anymore 🥺🥺). And again, there are a few times in this log where you see JKs eyes flick down towards Jimins lips as he is talking. If you watch JKs logs with other members during 2013, he looks at them while they are talking the same way, but there is no quick downward eye movements...

There are also quite a few fanmeets during this year. For the month of June, I won't include the moments here, but they often sat next to each other and had a few cute exchanges. Those fanmeets took place on 130616, 130629, and 130630. If you wanted to look up those moments or photos. The fanmeets in July were the same, a few cute moments, small and sweet. Really just again highlighting how they were obviously close and good friends already at this point, not even 2 years into working together and not even a full 2 months into debut. The July fanmeets with cute moments were 130706, 130707, 130710, 130714, 130727, and 130728. And same for August, the cute little interactions from a fanmeet that month were from 130804. October's fanmeet with small cute moments was 131020. November's fanmeet was 131130.

130715, BTS are the self cam stars on Mnet. I think it's sweet to point out that even back in 2013, JK was calling Jimin handsome. Video of their self cam with English subs linked. Even in between all of the teasing and the weird look ranks teasing they all did, it was clearly a joke that JK didn't mean. He sees Jimin trying to fix his hair or look better on camera and he immediately reassures him that "you look really handsome" just to get right back to teasing him to make him smile in all the different ways. This was also Jimin's stage with the dance line they performed as the opener to No More Dream. And because I think it's really cool, I'm sharing their practice video and their performance video with you, since it was cut a bit in the Mnet self cam video for anyone who hasn't seen them kill it since the start.

Mid August we have another jikook centered bangtan bomb. They are taking unit photos together with cotton candy and just fooling around. Lots of smiles, teasing, touchiness from both of them and just simply joy. They are BEST friends yall, it's so easy to see. Jimin in this video does also jokingly call out JK for all his teasing going "Ah you really don't see me as a hyung do you?" Which just again, showcases their interesting dynamics. Yes, Jimin is his hyung, and he DOES give Jimin that hyung status when Jimin really wants it. But it's also very clear to see that Jimin is one of the hyungs he feels most comfortable with, because it's very clear he IS comfortable dropping those formalities and teasing Jimin like he would a same age friend. It's not disrespect unless JM wasn't okay with it, and he doesn't seem to seriously care too much about it. It just highlights again how close they are already. We don't see him treating his other hyungs in quite the same way, even though it's just mostly rough housing and teasing at this point. It just already highlights a small difference and their level of closeness with each other.

Jimin posted on Twitter for JKs birthday a cute photo of him with his cake, teasing him for crying a lot during their birthday prank on him. BigHit posted their group photo as well with a teary eyed but overall happy JK with his hyungs, they posted this late on the 17th lol. And skipping ahead in time a little bit to Jimin's birthday, JK posted on Twitter for him as well with the cutest photo. And the bangtan bomb of Jimins birthday was the cutest thing. JK during this video spanks Jimin multiple times to which Jimin has zero reaction. And Kookie's response to this is to laugh and say to someone off screen (maybe a staff member) while laughing "I just hit him like that, but I don't think he minds!" 🤣 okay then!

Sometime during August/September the boys all filmed their first show, Rookie King. It's got... a lot of cringey they might be trying too hard moments in it, but also a lot of geninue looks into their dynamics as a group and some super funny moments here too. If you haven't seen it yet, you absolutely should as a whole. It's 8 episodes long, here is a link to the episodes in full. Please please just watch it all if you haven't. I could honestly probably write up an entire post on its own about Rookie King. Lol but this Truly just highlights how one, yet again, they have always been super close. It highlights again how JK has quite the soft spot for his Jimin hyung, to the point where the editors said he was behaving like a newly-wed wife... lmao and it gives us the gem that was them airing out their grievances. Jimin chose to complain about JK and all his teasing. To which our sweet Jungkookie replied, "I'm like that because I like hyung too much." Yeah. If this isn't subconscious stereotypical school boy with a crush behavior... and then afterwards we got the "we will just get even closer now" line, which is so accurate, my goodness.

And just a few more photos from Rookie King, but seriously watch them. A few more cute moments, but it's just the tip of the iceberg really. The endplate King game was something else entirely 🤣

I also think it's worth noting Jungkook's reaction to when Hobi and Tae had to kiss. Out of all of them, he looks giddy with excitement while Vhope look like they would rather be anywhere else. To me, it really reads as something he almost WANTS to see and more than just to tease his friends about later. This was honestly one of the most uncomfortable bits of fanservice they have ever done, and they have 100% never gotten close to things like this again, firmly staying in the bounds of whatever they are comfortable doing together. Lol almost kisses, fine. Pretending, fine. Actually kissing each other on the mouth, nope 🤣 JK is out here giggling, clapping and bouncing around looking for the best view though. Lmao

And some tweets from this time frame too from Jikook. First from their own account and then one from BigHits account too. There was just ALOT. lol and they start December off together with this super cute selca together being Bangtans charms 🥺 as well as these photos from their photoshoot that are precious

The last bangtan bomb In particular I want to talk about is this one, Jimins sexy dance lesson, which was from Dec 2013. This was just ALOT. We know from 2018 that JK admitted he likes that Jimin is shameless. And this is the perfect bangtan bomb that shows Jimin has been shameless from the get go 🤣 Jihope dancing together is consistently going to get taken to sexy levels. It's like they can't help it 😂 Tae at the beginning looks like he both doesn't want to be seeing this and yet cannot stop watching and being intrigued despite himself. When JK joins, before Hobi ramps it back up again, things got tamer and just more silly. Lol but truly, shameless from the start.

And the last thing before I get more into my opinions over their dynamics, just a small selection of some of their group photos this year. Look at how often they gravitated towards standing next to each other in these photos. It's clear in not only some of the stories they share, but in subtle things like this, that they were probably closer then it even seemed on camera already this year. Way back when in 2013

So where I end up with my opinions on their dynamics this year isn't much different than pre-debut. My only thing that I do think where my opinion differs from the majority of jikookers is that the narrative of Jimin fell first, JK fell harder is something I have never seen or agreed with. Not only do I not think Jimin "fell" first, they are both so equally and insanely goners for each other. No one is down harder than the other, it's very much a mutual fall. Lol

I see hints of a subconscious crush here in Jungkookie. They spend a lot of time with a "meh" type of attitude when it comes to the preferring to be near each other that we see later on. Their soft spot for each other is already very clear though. JK is already letting Jimin win at games (Rookie king), Jimin is already doting on him fairly consistently and laughing super hard at his antics. They are clearly best friends.

JKs soft spot gives me "hyung makes me feel safe, happy and secure" with hints of what I think is a crush that he doesn't even know he has yet. That he probably just thinks is a soft spot for his hyung that he enjoys spending time with. It's gives me stereotypical schoolboy teen teasing their crush to get their attention, already pushing at those power dynamics in small ways while still being respectful. You see this especially in his responses to Jimin in Rookie King and in the way that he does have those subtle eye flicks to the lips moments. I don't think this a fully developed crush or anything, really truly just a small subconscious way of being drawn to Jimin. I like this guy, I am drawn to him and I'm happy with him type of starter crushes, that often just lead to good friendships and nothing more. Hopefully I'm making sense and explaining myself well. Lol

Jimin's soft spot is giving me very stereotypical "my maknae is the cutest in the whole world and I will dote upon our baby every chance I get" vibes. I really don't see anything more from him this year than just, this guy is one of my very best friends, I think he is cute and he is my baby that I will cherish and take care of (2014 is a different story from JMs end though too). His soft spot is incredibly evident in the way he let's JK play with those power dynamics though, with the "you don't really see me as a hyung" comments and height jokes he laughs off. The comments about how they are just going to get even closer from Rookie King too. It's clear they are already close and it's clear that Jimin wants nothing more than to nurture that relationship into something even closer too. Jimin really wants to break down alot of those emotional walls JK seems to have built up being such a young and shy kid. They are precious and absolutely so cute this year. Babies, the both of them, so young!!

Ending with the reminder that these are truly just my opinions. I encourage you to go watch fancams from these fansigns, their stages and behinds from their stages, look at the behinds from these photoshoots and watch all the logs and bangtan Bombs from 2013 (not just the jkk ones too, but all of them for how they relate to each other and the others as well). Not just the content I link here, this is maybe only half of it if that, I don't have the space for EVERYTHING. Lol There is so much. Most of it just shows how goofy they are together and how close they are. It's important to see content for yourself and form your own opinions off the content yourself. This is simply how I see it and how I see their dynamics together this year. You are free to agree to disagree with any or all of it. 💜

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[frank-ieros-lip-ring]

The Summer of ( Punk ) Love

Bullets Frank x Gender Neutral Reader

Requested by anon

Authors Note: I'm so sorry these are taking me so long to write, I've been so busy with school and dealing with my mental health. It's March break right now, so hopefully, I'll be able to get at least one more done and posted.

" What do you mean you're ' not counceling this summer '? " I message my best friend, Gerard Way.

Every summer, since we were little kids, Gerard and I would go to the local summer camp. When we got too old to attend, we decided to become counselors to keep the tradition alive.

" I already told you, I'm going to NY early to get ready for art college. " he texts back.

" Damn it! Can't you wait until after camp to do that? I'm gonna be stuck with some person I don't even know! Do you know how anxiety inducing that will be? I'm gonna die! " I panic.

" No, I have to get my dorm set up and get a feel of the campus. Don't worry, look, I know the guy who's gonna counsel with you. He's cool, I think you'll like him. His name's Frank. " Gerard tells me.

" Oh yeah, like knowing his name makes me any less anxious * eye roll * " I send back.

" Just calm down, you'll be fine, I prommie. <3 " he reassures me.

————

I arrived at camp and I've been pacing around the eating hall, waiting for my new counselling partner to get here. The head counsellor watches me worriedly. She was about to say something when someone, I can only assume is Frank, walks in. He's in a pair of black jeans and a Bad Brains shirt. He has dyed, orange hair that's spiked up in a small, little mohawk. He walks right up to me, hands in his pants pockets, and smiles at me. He takes a hand out from his pocket and holds it out to me.

" Hi, I'm Frank. " he grins. I totally freeze up and forget how to think and form words.

" Hi, I'm Y/N. " I say after an eternity, struggling to remember my name.

It didn't help that I'm all flustered. The guy is pretty fucking cute. It seems like he also has a great taste in music by his choice in band tee.

The boy gives me a weird look. He probably judging me and thinks I'm slow. I must have looked like an idiot just standing and staring for as long as I did before answering.

The head counsellor takes us on a tour of the camp. Not that I need it, I know the camp layout like the back of my hand by now. I assume Frank has never been to camp before from the way he ooh's and ahh's after being shown each location. It's adorable.

————

The next morning, I'm reading Catcher in the Rye on a bench outside the eating hall, waiting for the campers to arrive, when Frank comes and sits next to me. He's wearing his camp counselling uniform and he looks like a total dork. I almost laugh out loud. He sees me smirking and grins.

" I look great, don't I? I look like a ten year old. " he says.

This time I can't hold back my laugh. I giggle and shake my head.

" I mean, you're not wrong. " I shrug.

" You're not supposed to agree! " Frank says, shooting me a playful glare.

That's when I hear a bus honk. That means the kids have arrived! My eyes light up and I get up, taking Frank's hand and excitedly pulls him to come greet the kids.

" Come on! Come on! The kiddos are here! " I exclaim, leading a startled Frank towards the bus.

I eagerly watch as the kids get off the bus. I wait for the last camper to exit before I speak, greeting the kids.

" Welcome kiddos! I'm happy to see a lot of familiar faces, " I beam at my favourite camper, Frances Bean, " This is Frank. " I say, introducing my new counselling partner to the group.

I realize I'm holding Frank's hand. He does too and smirks at me. Blushing, I quickly let go of his hand as if it were on fire.

" Slow down babe, we've only know each other less than a day. " he jokes, making me turn a darker shade of pink.

" Awe, but babe, I can't help myself. You're such a cute little dork. " thinking quickly of an equally stupid response to cover up my embarrassment, I fake pout and boop his nose.

We both burst out laughing when the kids all go ' Ooo '. Frances Bean approaches us from the back of the group.

" Does Gerard know you're cheating on him? " Frances Bean asks me.

" Oh, Beanie, " I sigh, " I'm not dating Gerard, he's gay. He's got a boyfriend. His name is Bert. "

Her eyes go wide as she processes the information.

" Well, that explains a lot. " she says, nodding to herself as we walk to the cabins so the kids can get settled in before the camp tour.

————

It's the end of the night and we're all gathered around the campfire.  To get to know each other, we're  all playing two truths and a lie while roasting marshmallows.

" I really like dogs, I'm in a rock band and my favourite food is steak. " Frank says when it's his turn.

The campers and I take a minute to consider which one is a lie. I know Frank likes rock music but being in a band just sounds too far out to be true, so, I go with that.

When time comes to guess, Frances Bean is the first to raise her hand. She also thinks that being in a band was the lie.

" Nope! I'm in a rock band called My Chemical Romance! " he grins proudly.

It takes a minute to process it, but when I do, I gasp loudly.

" That's how you know Gee! You're in his band! " I exclaim.

Frank nods his head, still grinning.

" Wait? But I've been to a few practices and I never saw you. " I question, tilting my head.

" Gerard had asked me not too long ago to join because they needed a second guitarist. You just haven't come to any practices since then. " he explains. Now it's my turn to nod my head.

At this point, the game went out the window and the kiddos spend the rest of the night curiously asking Frank questions about what it's like to be in a band.

" Did you bring a guitar with you? " someone asks.

Frank gets a look of excitement in his eyes.

" Matter of fact, I did. Hold on, lemme go get it. " he tells the group.

Frank gets up and runs off to the counsellor's cabin and returns a few minutes later with a gorgeous, acoustic guitar.

" Any requests? " he asks.

Everyone starts shouting things all at once.

" Shh, okay, I heard someone say Losing my Religion, so, Losing my Religion it is. " Frank says, tuning the guitar.

Everyone quiets down for Frank. He closes his eyes, starts strumming the guitar and begins to sing. He sounds beautiful, unlike anyone I've heard. Frank's voice is unique, slightly off-pitch, but it's what makes it sound so different and wonderful.

When Frank opens his eyes as he finishes the song, they land on me. As the campers around us applaud him, it seems like it's only me he can see. He grins stupidly at me as I bite my lip and smile back.

Once Frank comes back to reality, he checks the time.

" Alright, campers, bedtime! Everyone head to your cabins and get ready to sleep. Lights out are at 8:30. " he announced, leading the group to their cabins, leaving me sitting alone at the dying camp fire.

When Frank comes back, he takes a seat next to me, so close I can feel his body heat. It's an awkward minute before someone says something.

" The sunset's stunning, isn't it? " I ask, staring at the sky.

" Yeah, it is. But you're more stunning. " Frank answers, muttering that last part under his breath, thinking I wouldn't hear.

The compliment makes me blush.

" You're an amazing musician, by the way. Your voice is beautiful, " I tell him, " Gerard made a good choice in asking you to join My Chem. "

" Thanks, Y/N. " he replies.

A couple of minutes pass by in, this time, a comfortable silence before I get up to let the kids know it's lights out.

" Hey, Frankie, I wanna show you something. Follow me. " I say upon returning, leading him into the woods behind eating hall.

————

Night has completely fallen and Frank and I have been sitting at my special hiding place for an hour and a half, at least, talking and getting to know each other.

" Y'know, Gerard didn't tell me you'd be this cute. " I say, shoulder checking him before laying my head on him.

His cheeks flush pink and he smiles to himself. He takes my hand in his as he thanks me, playing with my fingers. I lift his hand to my lips and give it a little kiss, looking up at him through my lashes. The next move I make is so unlike me, I surprise myself. I raise my other hand and softly grip his jaw, turning his face to mine, and I kiss him gently. I go in a second time, this time more passionately.

We continue making out for a little while before eventually passing out.

————

When morning arrives, Frank and I are shaken awake by a young child by the name of Frances Bean.

" Well, what happened here? Two camp counsellors, asleep together in the woods? Looks like Billie owes me five bucks. " she says.

I give Bean a confused look.

" I made a bet with Billie before I came to get you that I'd find you two asleep together in the woods. " she snickers.

After shooting her a playful glare, I look around, reminding myself of what happened last night. I'm sitting up against a tree and I see that Frank is still asleep in my lap. I bend down and whisper in Frank's ear for him to get up.

He wines, " Do I have to? "

" Yes, Frank, we have camp counsellor duties to fulfil. " I say and Frank pops right up.

" Ah crap, we fell asleep! " Frank blurts out.

" No, we had a trip to another dimension while high on shrooms. No duh, we fell asleep, " I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes, " Let's head back to camp. " I suggest, helping him up.

I take his hand guide him back to the campsite.

————

Summer has ended and the kids are getting ready to go back home. Frank and I are packing up in our cabins too.

" Hey, Y/N, what do you plan on doing when you get home? " Frank, my boyfriend asks.

After just a few short weeks together, Frank and I quickly became an item. The kids all called it. We spent a few weeks awkwardly flirting until Frank finally grew the balls to ask me out.

" I don't know? Maybe take a nap? Why? " I reply with a shrug.

" Why don't you come over to my place? If you really need to, we can nap there. " he invites me.

I turn to him, I raising an eyebrow, and ask, " ' We '? "

" Then maybe I can take you out to dinner? " he shyly asks.

I grab my bag, walk over to him and kiss him on the cheek

On my way out the door, I say,  " Sounds lovely. "

[astrologgeek]

⚠️ I do not give any permission to anyone reading this post to re-post my content nor plagiarize it. This content belongs to me and myself only @astrologgeek ⚠️

My ✨astro✨ notes

Part 1.

This is my first post on tumblr, I've been learning astrology for over a year now - and I have finally succeeded and wrote my own personal astrology notes! ⚠️these are my own personal observations and notes, which means that whatever I'm saying here isn't 100% astrology accurate & approved by any professional astrologer⚠️ hope you enjoy I guess <3 (BTW: if anyone wants to repost or anything pls tag me, and don't steal pls!! I've worked so hard on these.)

• Taurus risings have 2 types of luaghter: crying-like laugh because of their 3rd house cancer or a smirky / deep-like laugh because of their capricorn 9th house. As a taurus rising I approve this message.

• speaking of taurus risings: gemini 2nd house ppl may joke a lot about their self worth. They also have a very big vocal range - whether they can sing or not, they can be great at dubbing.

• Neptune in the 2nd house have dreamy voices / amazing singing abilities or they may sound like a someone that does drugs / smoke / just high.

• having your mars in the 10th house can indicate a modeling career, especially if your MC is in good aspects with your ASC.

• virgo 9th house people have the most provocative sense of humor, they are also a "know-it-all". Yet, they are extremely loyal, so passionate and devoted to their duties.

• whichever house your pluto is in explains your deepest fears and where there is true chaos in your life (I'll make a post about it!)

• having your pluto in libra - as pluto being the planet of our generations - means that these people have always tried to fit into norms and into society, to not stand out, to be the most basic they can try. I believe that if they had a catchfraze it would be: "fake it 'till you make it".

• whatever house you have libra in is an area in your life that tries to fit in norms / society / normality (libra 11th house: have friends that are normal & basic / you try to to fit in society to make friends)

• aries rising's facial expressions are IMMACULATE (aries rules the face, so it's fitting that their face and facial expression will be very dominant)

• if your lilith conjuncts your saturn then solving the dark and hidden parts of you will help your career life grow and evolve as well.

• Mars-neptune aspects makes your anger blurry - like you don't know when your angry or how to feel / express your anger. Bonus points if the moon has contact with mars.

• There are 2 houses that rule the feeling of not belonging: the 11th house (not belonging because ur special, unique, weird, not normal) and the 12th house (not belonging because of your lonely energy, your blurry energy that makes you feel drifted from everyone automatically)

• Parent & children 🤝 not understanding each other's generation. Why, you may ask? Most if the time the age gap between children & their parents is 25 - 40 years, now if pluto is changing it's sign every 12 (mostly) - 31 years it means that the gap of the signs is creating a square! Example: gen z (pluto in sag) & boomers and karens (pluto in virgo), yet gen z (pluto in sag) & gen of pluto in leo (our grandparents) are creating a trine aspect (good relationship between generations).

• Capricorn stelliums are the most impatient people ever, time just moves with their own schedule and they are the ones that are always perfectly in time. Why? Saturn, which is ruled by capricorn: is ruling time.

• 12th house placements in general but especially 12th house NN & chiron 10th house people have a hero complex, that we must help everyone and save everyone. It's because the 12th house is about selflessness and empathy.

• Sagittarius rising feel so intimate and private, like no one really knows them - because of their 12th house scorpio, which makes their intimate side hidden, and makes them a mystery.

• Your 7th house sign is also the sign you have celebrity-crushes & obsessions on.

• You can know leo's even without them having a sun, moon or rising in leo. They are just SO noticeable! Their energy is just IMMACULATE

• I think that 12th house people are very intersted in prisons, mental hospitals, illusions and parties actually! Now all of them are understood because of our natural will to search for the unkown and the mystery and the unrealistic stuff in our lives, stuff that makes your soul change.

But why parties? Parties may be a place filled with people and noise which 12th house ppl won't like but the thing is parties are a fun illusion, with the lights changing all the time and the music that makes our body adapt to an entirely different environment because of it - it makes u very much aware of everything within the noise and loudness and madness.

• Talking about parties and 12th house people - I have noticed that they have 2 options of how they act:

1. They sit in the corner and analyze literally anything or just drown in their own thoughts or distract themselves from "all of the eyes looking at them".

2. They try to dance and get involve in the party but they're or getting to carried away and then feel embarrassed af and isolate themselves or immediately regrets it and goes to isolate themselves.

• 10th house transits for ppl who haven't graduated high school / university yet will be manifesting in their school life because it's where you're "supposed" to find your career path.

• In my opinion, the co-ruler of fun (which is ruled by leo) is sagittarius. Why? Leo rules entertainment and sagittarius is the ruler of jupiter, which resembles happiness, optimism (, expansion, growth) which is like the soul purpose of fun and entertainment.

• Even tho communication and the social media are a mercury - thing, I actually think that specific parts have 2 or even 3 rulers. For example: articles are ruled by gemini, virgo and aquarius (gemini to represent the creativeness and flowing speech in the article (also gossip if included), virgo to represent the order and wording of the article and how it's represented and brought to the readers and aquarius is for the fact that articles always talk about new, innovative or unusual things that are happening currently [little bit of cap right here lol] in the world, which also bring awareness (def an aqua theme).

• As the 8th house representing secrets, intimacy and shared resources - it must mean that people with this stellium or placements LOVE gossip. gossip is the combination of shared resources (media - which related to my last note - so gossip pages are gemini scorpio thing), intimacy and secrets.

• I have a theory - vehicles, as all materials and machines - are ruled by earth signs, so here are each vehicles rulers in my opinion:

virgo rules the air-vehicles (plains, helicopters etc.) Because that's a mutable sign that's adaptable of change the most out of every earth sign, and because the sky is so unpredictable and there's infinite courses of ways to reach ur destination - virgo fits the most to it.

capricorn rules the sea-vehicles (ships, boats, submarines etc.) Because that's a cardinal sign, an initiator that doesn't wait for things to happen, but makes sure every sudden change has a stable solution, also the sea is such an exotic place - fitting for a Capricorn's rich taste in views and life. Other than that, water may be unpredictable as well, but less than the open air and sky. Capricorns are the sea goats for a reason ;)

And last but not least - taurus rules the earth-vehicles. As The most stable, grounded, stubborn & down to earth sign it's kind of fitting for the vehicles that moves through the earth to have taurus as it's ruler. As cars, motorcycles etc. Have roads, so does taurians have their own, only path. They depend on the only thing they trust and any sudden change will make chaos. It's also the most comfortable - the thing taurians are craving for most.

I HOPE U ENJOYED my astro-notes :) I'll def try to keep them coming lmao if y'all would want to. Hope y'all Have a nice day 💕

[nightswithkookmin]

Oh God😵

Can we just pretend it didn't happen?

It's embarrassing as it is and I'm trying to put it behind me. No need to keep reminding me

I posted about buff Jimin and akekeed over it the day before that incident. I don't have a problem with buff skinny thicc flat Jimin💀

I got triggered that day that's all.

Clearly I'm sensitive about Jimin and anything related to his body issues. That's what happens when you over step your boundaries as a stan.

It happened. I'm over it.

I saw a bunch of tweets that day celebrating JM's 'new body' and the caption was 'buff Jimin is back.' That's what triggered me that day.

It was difficult seeing a bunch of people praise JM for a body he himself said really wasn't his style years ago.

He even said recently himself he wasn't trying to look buff or anything and I remember joking about how he would say that but will show up here with shoulders like the hulk. I wasn't wrong and I also didn't think too much of it.

And as I said, people push for him to buff up all the time as if his body type as it is is not normal or valid. Not every male has arms that can drill through rocks nor should they all. It don't make them any less male.

So seeing all these people celebrate his 'new' look, I couldn't bring myself to celebrate it with them. Some how it reminded me of when he was a younger man and was pushed to over sexualize and objectify himself and his body by exposing his abs on stage etc. At the time he had said he wasn't comfortable with that but swallowed it and did it anyway especially when he realized fans liked it.

So I was confused as to whether this time around he was being pushed to look this way by the company or advertisers they worked with or even that whole ban on effeminate men on TV in China- or that he was finally giving into the pressure to change his body by fans as he had been complaining for sometime that his body wasn't looking nice.

For a moment I thought he was relapsing or something and falling back into a dark place he's worked his way out of with regards to his body and I was disappointed.

But I've since learnt it is not my place.

We all have aspects of these people we've latched on to and to me it felt as if I was the one relapsing on old bad habits I'm ashamed to say out loud. Too much projection there I admit. It certainly didn't help that someone pointed out to me I was projecting. It made me think, wait a sec. It's all in my head? I've been reading him wrong all this time.

That's when i started spiralling.

Truth is, I'd feel really broken if I celebrated his new body like everyone else but then one day he comes out to say he wasn't in a good mental place and had ben pushed to do something like that because of XZ factors.

If that happens I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself.

I'll probably throw much more tantrums than I have in the past. I'M NOT PLAYING.👀

These are hard times and depressing times and we are all trying to deal with it the best way we can. And sometimes you are just in a a fragile state of mind and the least thing can be a trigger.

I still feel as if someone made an incision in my brain with a razor and i can feel the scar. So pathetic really when Jimin out there don't even know my name

Gotta love myself chilee and I gotta stop projecting. STOP PROJECTING GOLDY.

I'll try not to have such public mental breakdowns in the future. Jimin is not my relative and I shouldn't be this overly invested in his life. He is an adult. He will be fine. No need to worry.

I'm used to pouring out my thoughts out here I didn't realize just how bad and out of hand it had gotten.

Sorry

Can we please go back to being goofy crazy dorks. More shipping. Less ghetto shit

GOLDY

[spacecatchako]

i don't want to be alone anymore (sfw)

you and daichi have been best friends since your first year of high school. now that you're in love (and adults) where will you go from here?

pairing: sawamura daichi x reader

wc: 3,373 words

contains: seemingly unrequited love, confessions, covers the nationals arc, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort towards the end, fluff, reader literally has a breakdown and daichi comforts them, reassurance, cuddles, petnames (baby, princess, doll)

a/n: no, i didn't have any idea how to tag this. this fic is a little all over the place and there are several timeskips. the reader is implied to have issues w family and friends so keep that in mind lol. also i marked diff sections of the fic with ✨ this emoji so if u want to skip over certain parts and go straight to the hurt/comfort feel free babey

you were used to being lonely. sure, you worked hard and you had dreams, but there was some part you that remained unfulfilled. it was like a void that gradually dragged you down. you'd managed to supress it for most of your life up until high school, until all of a sudden something changed.

you met sawamura daichi. he was cute, a first year player on the volleyball team. daichi was kind to you. the two of you became fast friends after meeting on the first day at karasuno. during your breaks in between classes the pair of you would talk about anything and everything- volleyball strategies, your latest sketches, even other classmates that were giving you a hard time. you could be silly with daichi. there was no pressure with him, no need to pretend to be perfect.

but there was something scary about this too. by your second year of school you'd been friends with daichi for about a year. it was then that the realization hit- you had never felt this safe, this accepted, or... this loved by another person. when you'd get anxious because of classes or have issues with your family daichi became a shoulder for you to lean on. he'd go out of his way to send you check up texts and leave you little handwritten notes. the first one that you received was a little post-it note that said "you'll do great on your test today! i believe in you- daichi." he'd blushed like crazy when you confronted him about it. it was new to see your usually sturdy and level-headed best friend blush over a silly note that he'd left. there was something different between the two of you after that first note. instead of walking you home like usual he started to keep a hand on the small of your back.

you hadn't been looking. you'd been talking about how awkward your family was when a stray cat slunked into front of the two of you. you almost walked straight into it before the cat bounded away, crossing the empty street and looking back once to meow at daichi and you.

"sorry, is that too much? i just... want to make sure that you don't trip."

you were confused until you realized what had happened. daichi had steadied you by putting his hand on the small of your back. it felt good, for some reason, to trust him to steady you. trust wasn't an easy thing to come by.

you smiled a tad awkwardly before steadying yourself on your own two feet. "not at all daichi. i don't mind."

daichi smiled and the pair of you kept walking. his hand had stayed where it had been. you felt... guilty for being so touch-starved. and for your best friend, of all people?

"how ridiculous" you thought to yourself. when you came home you knew that no one was there. time to start dinner before your family came home. you'd probably retreat to your room and text daichi when that happened.

daichi was so good and so nice, and by your third year of high school the tiny, lingering bit of attraction that you had had for him flourished into a full-blown crush. you felt embarrassed and guilty. never had you let someone get this close to you. never had you ever let anyone write you notes, check in on you, give you genuine-sounding compliments. it was the little things like "are you okay y/n? you seemed a little quiet this morning. are you getting enough sleep?"

graduation came and went. the notion of parting with daichi and your other friends- asahi, suga, and kiyoko- left a pang of grief in your stomach. you were attending a local university and daichi planned to join miyagi's fire department after nationals. you'd still be close to him and he'd still be living at home, but it was weird to think that you'd be seeing one another a lot less.

nationals was when everything boiled over. you'd promised daichi that you'd be in the stands at every game of the competition, cheering him on.

"id love it if you were there, don't get me wrong. but don't feel like you have to jump through hoops for me! it's a bit of a long trip, i don't want you tiring yourself out." he confesses sheepishly. but you really wanted to go- his mom and siblings couldn't because of school and work, but they'd given him their best wishes.

"I'll hitch a ride with saeko and the crew. she and i work at the same restaurant on the weekends. we already talked and she said she'd be more than happy." you chirp. daichi seems a bit less worried about you after this, but then he remembers.

"um. y/n. you know that saeko drives... well, not badly, just... scarily?" he only seems to be partially joking.

you laugh at his worried expression. "I'll be okay pal. we'll make one of saeko's taiko buddies take the wheel."

daichi mock sighs in relief and you laugh together. this was the last moment that daichi had before nationals where he wasn't laden with anticipation over whether karasuno would succeed or not. he felt relaxed, with you. he thought you were cute, and awkward sometimes, and smart, and... good. so good. you didn't always look to him like he was an authority figure and you were small. he didn't feel the pressure to make sure you behaved or kept you in line because you were good at putting up a front and keeping yourself "in order." sometimes daichi wished that you would let him take care of you, let him listen more often. he wished that you would let him love you.

oh.

oh shit.

"daichi? um, daichi?"

daichi blushed and was snapped back to reality. he... loved you? that's what that care for you was all of these years. that's why he wanted to know if you were taking care of yourself, if you weren't burning yourself out with pleasing your family and school and work. sure, he thought you were cute. he picked up on all of your idiosyncrasies, even sometime pointing them out to you. he had had an inkling that *maybe* he had a little crush on you... but the care that he had come to find that he had for you was so great. he had to do something- everyone was leaving for school and the championships would be over and then when would he see you again? there was this great, big fear of losing you due to confessing. but that fear was minuscule compared to you, his studious and independent friend, pushing him away and forgetting.

"sorry. i was just lost in thought."

✨

yes, you, saeko, and the taiko group arrived a *tad* late and missed the tokonami match. yes you felt guilty for missing it. but when karasuno won against inarizaki and you saw daichi and the team celebrate the win, it was all worth it. you cheered as loud as you can, and once the players cleared from the court, you scrambled to greet daichi.

you see him in the lobby and almost leap into his arms. he laughs. "aaa, hey y/n." he croaks.

you giggle. "hey daichi. congratulations. you were amazing out there."

he's smiling through the sweat and fatigue. you notice, out of the corner of your eye, asahi and suga slowly backing away to leave the two of you alone. suga clicks his tongue, making daichi whip his head around, and he gives the captain a thumbs up." daichi sighs and sets you down, and the two of you are left in the stadium lobby. volleyball players and spectators mingle around, getting food and shopping for merchandise. daichi runs a hand through his hair and turns to you.

"do you want to go outside? there's something that i have to tell you."

anxiety shoots through you. if it's daichi, it can't be bad. of course not. that's one of your best friends. right?

the two of you make your way to the front doors of the stadium and get some fresh air. the sky is blue and the wind is refreshing against your skin. daichi, still sweaty and tired from his game, seems to enjoy it too.

you giggle as he stretches. daichi sits on a nearby bench and gestures for you to do so too. you notice a little shake in his hands as he does so. he's fiddling with the zipper of his karasuno jacket in that cute way that you know he does.

there's a sense of unease, and it's up to you to break the silence. you're alone with sawamura daichi, your best friend and longtime crush.

"daichi? what's wrong?" you ask, concerned.

daichi looks to you, a flush on his cheeks and a light in his eyes. he looks so cute, even when he's tongue-tied and tired from a game.

he takes a deep breath, and the words come out.

"i like you a lot, y/n"

you blink, confused. then it hits you. your crush, sawamura daichi, likes you. like, the boy that you think about way too much, the boy that you feel safe with, the absolute gentleman who cares about you and respects you instead of walking all over you, likes you.

you realize that you haven't said anything before you stutter.

"i-i like you too, daichi. so much."

he's blushing. your face is growing hot despite the winter air. the two of you, literal adults, are reduced to awkward messes because of this confession.

"o-oh. that's... good. i think that that's good." daichi awkwardly says. he laughs a little, then it turns into a full-blown bellow. you can't help but laugh too at how ludicrous the situation is. two friends who have known each other for years, caring about each other, eventually falling for each other. who knew?

"also suga made a bet and told me to confess to you if we won against inarizaki. he told me after the tokonami match. i agreed." daichi huffs after the laughter subsides.

"of course he did. im glad that he did it though." you joke.

"yeah. because then i wouldn't have you." he smiles, getting up. he extends a hand to you, helping you from the bench

"let's go back to the group. i don't want to miss lunch."

✨

it's been months after nationals. you and daichi are in a relationship, happy to be with one another. he's taken you on so many wonderful dates and his family seems to love getting to know you more. but there's still something that's missing. you've always struggled to open up to people completely. even daichi doesn't know what you're like when you completely break.

that changes one day when you have to travel from your dorm, to your parents house, then to daichi's for a date. it was supposed to be casual- just you and him in your pajamas, watching movies and eating takeout. but after being berated by your family for your career choice it triggered something in you. you felt like a little kid again, being told that you're not enough, being slowly manipulated by your family into burning yourself out. dachi helped the loneliness subside, but you knew that, inside, you were still the same little kid. that thought made something inside you recoil, but you pushed it down and made your way to daichi's.

you settle into his bed, your partner beside you. you take a good look at him- your man, sturdy and stronger from work at the fire department. suddenly, you can't help but break for some reason. tears flood your eyes and they won't stop for some reason.

"baby? baby what's wrong?"

you didn't deserve him. why were you even friends with him? someone this nice, this gentle with you, this kind? you wanted him to kick you out for crying. you wanted him to break up with you, because good things don't last.

you were so embarrassed and you'd felt so weak and stupid. you'd never been allowed to cry before, you'd always been told that it was a sign of weakness. good children didn't cry, so now that you were grown up you shouldn't either.

daichi hadn't judged you. he just set the tv remote down and moved in to hug you. other people's touches usually made you flinch and swat them away, but it was never like that with him. not when he supported the small of your back when you fell, not when you jumped into his arms, not when he took your hand after your mutual confession.

the two of you were hugging now, your chin on his shoulder and his head tucked into your side. you could stay like this forever. he was so warm. you could feel the two of your heartbeats almost sinking into one as your sobs quieted down and your breathing slowed to normal. this was the effect that he had on you. it was in this moment that you realized that you loved him- you truly did. the brown-eyed, sturdy, kind, careful, gentle boy that you'd met on the first day of high school had become your friend. then he was your crush. now that you two were adults, he was your first partner. the first person that you had ever fallen truly, deeply in love with.

you felt weak for desiring a love that was this tender. pessimistic you has you thinking that maybe all of the bad things that happened when you were growing up- your family being distant, friends leaving, you feeling alone all of the time- were a sign. a sign that you didn't deserve love. but if you were undeserving, if the pessimistic side of you was right, maybe you could have this moment to keep instead. is that it? if a whirlwind kind of love was too much to ask, you could just keep these moments with daichi close to your heart. if it was possible to take this feeling and keep it in a bottle, you would.

in between sobs, you vent.

"everything sucks, daichi. my family has always been so critical of me. i never get to see any of our friends anymore. im trying to succeed at school but my family won't get off my back. i feel so alone."

daichi pulls away to look at you. his palm is cupping your face and uses his thumb to wipe a tear away. you sniffle. you struggle to meet his beautiful brown eyes, averting your gaze. but you can feel his gaze on you, and when you do finally find the courage to make eye contact, he looks at you with nothing but affection. for some reason you don't feel judged by him. you don't feel... bad for crying in front of him anymore. he's looking at you with nothing but acceptance, nothing but care.

"hey." he starts in a small, gentle voice. "i know how you feel about crying, doll. but it's okay to cry. no matter what your parents say about you, you're a good person. a lovely person, even. you're a good friend too. what they think is stupid." he smiles a little. you love that smile- the way that his eyes crinkle a little and his cheeks dimple. he holds one of your hands in both of his. "i love you. you're good, and smart, and kind, and hardworking. you forget to take care of yourself sometimes, but i think that that's okay. while you're learning how to show yourself more compassion I'll take care of you in the meantime. whatever you need, doll. you're safe with me. no matter what. okay?"

you're crying again. great. you don't stop yourself this time and you throw yourself into his arms. he's there, waiting for you. you let yourself sob into his chest while he gently rubs your back. he holds you in his big, strong arms and hugs you closer. you don't feel suffocated and you don't feel humiliating to be crying. you feel safe. it sucks to cry over what your family thinks of you and it sucks that you don't feel like enough. it sucks that you've felt alone for most of your life. it sucks that you feel guilty for wanting love and it sucks that sometimes, you feel guilty for loving daichi so much. but as he holds you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling your hair, all of the pain is tinged with something warm. something safe. something so, so safe. a feeling that you'd never felt before.

it's in that moment that you know- daichi isn't a whirlwind. he isn't a storybook prince that will whisk all of your problems away. no, he's somehow better. he's a pillar of support, a source of comfort, a prince in his own right. no, he won't save you- you still have to take care of yourself. but he'll support you, fill in the gaps, love you unconditionally. maybe a fix-it-all is too much to ask, but you couldn't care less about that now. all that you want his daichi. he takes care of you. he respects you. he loves you, despite your flaws and your feelings of weakness and those moments like now when you just need to be held. he loves you.

when you've stopped crying your voice is croaky and you feel gross. you look up at daichi and he hands you a box of tissues from the nightstand. you're an ugly crier, you know that. but daichi doesn't seem to judge as you dab at your eyes and look to check your reflection in his room mirror. it feels wrong to leave the comfort of his arms, but it also feels like instinct to check your composure. when you're done you turn around to face him, eyes tired.

"do you want to talk about it doll?" you're about to object, in a prefunctory sort of way, but he cuts in. "baby, i don't mind. really. i just want to know that you're okay. i just want to know that you feel safe. you've endured a lot and the way that you feel matters."

you sniffle. "im fine not talking for now daichi. im... tired. just tired. from crying. i just want to sleep." when he shows you nothing but understanding, you stutter out one last request

"ww-will you hold me?"

"of course, princess. ive got you."

you clamber back to bed. daichi and you shift positions so that he's laying down and you're against his chest. he smells like that nice, crisp soap that he always uses. you bury your face in his chest once more, before laying on your side to the sound of his heartbeat.

you sigh. "i love this sound. it lets me know that you're here with me. it let's me know that you're real."

daichi chuckles warmly. you can hear the sound reverberate throughout his chest and it tickles your ear. he's so sweet. it's then that he promises something to you.

"im here, darling. and i am not going anywhere."

your eyes water a little at that. "i love you, daichi. you're my best friend."

he sighs, and it's like you can feel his warm, gentle smile from where you're resting. "i love you too, doll. so much. you are the most precious thing in the world to me."

you know in that moment that you are loved- genuinely, indellibly loved. the roughness and loneliness that you once endured is no more. despite everything, you're learning how to love yourself and to take care of yourself. it feels so, so lonely sometimes and the work seems endless. but whenever you need someone to catch you when you fall, you know that your love, daichi, will be there. forevermore.

his heartbeat relaxes you as you snuggle deeper into his chest. the last words that the two of you utter to one another are ones of love before you both drift off to sleep. you love him- so, so much. and he loves you.

tagging some folks in the longest fic that ive ever written because aaaaaa. if u want to be added to my taglist or taken off plz send me an ask!

@ceo-of-daichi @honeybunny-sawamura @daichis-kitty @goldenshoyo @daichidaichidaichi @kingtamakimurder