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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 17 second part

(Masterpost) (Previous Post) (Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!!

Breaking Good

Wen Qing comes to visit Wen Ning in their backyard meth lab, and tells him that he fucked up a recipe, merely by taking a whiff of the concoction. She uses the approved "wave fumes toward self" way of smelling that you learn in high school science if you live in a country that believes in teaching science, which OP does not.

Wen Ning wants to know if they are going to have a feud, and she tells him there already is one. She tells explains to him that they're good Wens, not evil Wens, and that Jiang Cheng is fucked, and they should send the Jiangs away in the morning before Wen Chao comes around.

Wen Ning whines at her about all of this, shifting into little-brother persona and acting like he didn't just take down 40 of Wen Chao's soldiers in a single night. He does this same persona shifting in his later unlife, with Wei Wuxian. When there is trouble, he's extremely effective, and can even tail WWX and Lan Wangji without getting caught, but then he is hopeless when dealing with turnips or children.

Here, it seems like a version of Wei Wuxian's own little-brother persona, in which he pretends to be helpless so that his sister can take care of him.

#studyblr

Wei Wuxian comes into Wen Qing's head shop to ask her for medical books. He loves his brother so much he's volunteering for a research project. We've seen him be clever before; we've seen circumstantial evidence that he's a good student, but now we're going to see him actually buckling down and doing intellectual work.

Wen Qing thinks its hopeless and wants Wei Wuxian to get some rest. But he gives her puppydog eyes, so she sets him up in her library.

Wei Wuxian reads a huge pile of medical books and learns interesting things about the human body.

(more after the cut)

Hopefully he does not splotch ink all over them while he holds this wet brush directly over the page. Why does he even have a brush in his hand? Is he taking notes in the margin?

Wen Qing eventually tells him to take a break and go see Jiang Yanli.

Segmentation fault (core dumped)

Jiang Yanli is tending to Jiang Cheng, gently telling him to suck it up by citing their father, which is probably not the greatest idea.

Yanli's wearing dark blue with white and looks awesome. It's not Gusu Lan blue, but the blue and white is an interesting choice for the excruciating heart to heart they're about to have.

Wei Wuxian shows up looking terrible, or the Xiao Zhan version of terrible, i.e. handsome and a little scruffy. But also worn out, unhappy, and fragile.

Jiang Yanli wants him to rest, but he wants to find a way to repair Jiang Cheng's core, and his mind races, trying to think of where he can get books and who can help him. His thoughts instantly go to Cloud Recesses and Lan Wangji. His face lights up at the thought that Lan Wangji will help him, and he hops up, ready to dash off and find him.

The first time I watched this I was like, dude yes you’re in love, but you can’t just dash off to find Lan Wangji, not when there’s a war on. This time I was like, actually wow things would turn out a whole lot better if you got Lan Wangji to help you, instead of coming up with your own plan.

Mother Mother Can You Tell Me

Jiang Yanli tells him to slow his roll. He's pushing himself too hard and she's afraid he will collapse. Then Wei Wuxian comes out and says what's driving him: maybe all these disasters are his fault.

It's telling, I think, that he cites Madame Yu, not Jiang Cheng, in this moment, even though Jiang Cheng has blamed him much more thoroughly and consistently. He's talking about one mother figure, to another mother figure, and looking for absolution.

He super does not get what he's looking for.

Jiang Yanli slowly lets go of him and goes the fuck off. She asks, rhetorically, what he's to blame for, and then lists off all of the shit that's happened. She finishes up by saying, look at our situation; blaming won't help anything.

It's unclear, because language/translation, if her answer is "it doesn't matter who's to blame" I.E. "yes, it's your fault, but I'm letting it go" or if she is saying "how does blaming yourself help anything?" I.E. "it's not your fault, stop being a drama llama."

Her body language, though, seems pretty blameful - she lets go of him, yells at him, sits down and turns away from him. And his reaction is not one of shared grief, or of someone who is trying to get over himself; he's totally crushed, and he literally never unburdens himself to her again. Even when he asks her, much later, about love, he immediately backs out of the conversation.

There is no violence in this moment and her reaction is understandable, but this is kind of similar to that one time when his brother choked him in a beautiful field of grass, in order to make himself feel better.

Then she kind of relents and takes his hand, telling him that she needs him and reminding him that he promised that they will go back to Lotus Pier. I don't remember him promising this, but okay.

He puts his head on her lap and he cries, she cries, comatose Jiang Cheng cries; FUCK this episode.

Jiang Cheng manages to cry only one tear and does it on the side of his face that his siblings can't see because he's not going to give them the satisfaction of sharing this moment with him, I guess.

When Wei Wuxian puts his head on Jiang Yanli's lap, it's part of a ritual for them, that they both are comforted by; he does it again much later, after they return to Lotus Pier. But this ritual does not actually do anything to relieve his burdens. As a male adult, and the only Jiang Clan disciple with any abilities, it falls to him to save the clan, whatever it takes, and he is heavily aware of it.

Wen Qing comes along and sees the sweet part of this complicated Shijie-Shidi dynamic, and decides to help with Wei Wuxian's research project. When the trio had just lost their parents, gotten sick, been pursued by enemies, & had one of Yanli's little brothers horribly wounded, Wen Qing was like, eh, I'll do the doctor stuff but that's it. But lap-crying is another level.

Wen Qing: Nooo don't put your head on her knees I failed my saving throw

Group Project

Wen Qing goes and cleans up the mess in the library, putting everything in order and settling in to read systematically. Wen Qing probably has the prettiest bullet journal. (OP looks proudly at the 100 loose slips of paper and piles of random stuff on her own desk)

Wei Wuxian has shaved and rested and comes in with a tray of food for Wen Qing, and then goes to his table in the back to start working. He claims he made "porridge" for her and that she has to eat to gain strength, and she gives him an intrigued expression. This moment is just blatant het baiting.

In fact the food he brings her is clearly not porridge, which might just be a translation error, but also he totally can't cook, so it's not clear if he's joking and Yanli or Wen Ning made the food, or if this is just inedible.

The Things We Do For Love

Yanli is working in the meth lab and coughing a lot. Yanli's chronic illness is a sign of what's to come for Wei Wuxian, because strong cultivators don't get sick. Yet Yanli, as a physically vulnerable person, who has either a weak golden core, or none, is still intrinsically valuable. Her presence in this scene is a reminder that Jiang Cheng's life is not, actually, over; he just feels like it is.

While Yanli cooks the meth, Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing have a study montage that is the equivalent of a training montage, except without "Eye of the Tiger" on the soundtrack.

Jiang Cheng remains unconscious. Apparently if you stick nails in the top of someone's head, you make them sleep, and in the back of their head, you turn them into part of your zombie army. Fortunately Wen Qing's aim is good. Jiang Cheng is looking devastatingly handsome as usual the TV version of unwell, and has grown a perfect Dorito-chip of stubble on his chin to go with his new 'stache.

Eventually Wei Wuxian changes back into his non-vampire robe and he finds the answer in an old scroll book. The Ikea instruction picture shows arrows going from the guy on the left to the guy on the right. Clearly it's not a great procedure for the guy on the left.

Wei Wuxian's face shows us exactly how not great.

Like walking in the rain and the snow and there’s no place to go and you’re feeling like a part of you is dying

He goes outside and gazes up at the trees and the sky as he contemplates the sacrifice that circumstance is forcing on him. He's not even making a choice at this point; his choice was made the moment he found the procedure. But it's going to be a tremendous loss for him. He values sword cultivation at least as much as Jiang Cheng does; he even fell in love with a boy over crossed swords. So he sits and just kind of comes to terms with this new understanding of his future. (Big gifs here)

Wen Qing finds him sitting, stunned, on the porch. She doesn't know what's up so she just sits quietly with him until he's ready to tell her.

She doesn't love the plan.

Thunder, Th-th-thunder

Wen Ning is bringing food up when he sees them arguing, and he is startled by situationally appropriate thunder and lightning. Having recently watched The Lost Tomb Reboot I've come to expect thunder and lighting to appear on cue in any possible situation, so the fact that this mini-storm clears right up again doesn't bother me.

What About You?

Wen Ning dashes inside to see what Mom and Dad are fighting about. They're having a polite shouting match because Wen Qing refuses to yank out Wei Wuxian's core.

Wen Qing: I hate the idea of harming you Wei Wuxian: I don’t even understand that sentence

Wei Wuxian doesn’t, of course, feel that he is important in any way, and ignores her concerned and appalled expressions in favor of telling her to just do it anyway. Amazingly, this does not convince her.

OP’s 177cm-tall son keeps telling her this

Then Wei Wuxian plays the "you know Jiang Cheng" card, which...I guess she does? Maybe he was chatting her up more than we saw in Cloud Recesses? He hasn't given her the comb or anything yet. Wei Wuxian explains that Jiang Cheng cares about gain and loss, and cultivation is his life. If he can only be ordinary the rest of his life will be ruined.

Wen Qing asks the question that nobody ever asks him: What about you?

Wei Wuxian has literally nothing to say to that, possibly because the question is so new to him.

Wen Ning doesn't know what's going on but comes squarely in on team Wei, of course, and begs his sister to Do The Thing. How fucking horrified is Wen Ning going to be when he learns what The Thing is? What he is personally going to help do to his beloved friend? Yikes.

Wen Qing caves, warning them that the chance of success is only 50 percent. Wei Wuxian is happy to take those odds.

Lan Wangji, projecting his voice from Episode 46: fifty percent, are you fucking kidding me?

Soundtrack: 1. Mother Mother by Tracy Bonham 2. The Things We Do For Love by 10cc 3. Thunder by Imagine Dragons

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #the untamed gifs #wen qing #wen ning #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #episode 17 #OMG this episode #god I miss lan wangji #warning: psychic pain

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iclaimedtobethebetterbard · 4 years ago

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alrighty just had the fun experience of blocking a transphobe on main, let’s have some trans!sides to celebrate:

as a nonbinary person on nonbinary tiktok, remus radiates chaotic enby tiktok gremlin energy and i will not be taking criticism at this time

also, as someone with multiple pronouns, remus hoards pronouns. you see a pronoun? remus uses it.

okay but aside from gender headcanons that are totally not just me projecting /s, let’s have some more trans stuff that hopefully fits no matter what gender you want to headcanon the sides as:

remus will cheer you up by telling you how shitty anyone who was transphobic to you is, and offering to fight them for you, and listing all the random misfortunes remus hopes they run into until it gets so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh.

logan is the parent friend who knows practically Everything about being trans and supports + educates baby trans kids whenever they need it.

logan probably runs a clothing drive and carries free menstrual products for anyone who needs them, and will spend hours educating anyone with a genuine question.

logan also occasionally sets up workshops for practicing using all sorts of pronouns, for whoever wants to support a friend or just learn more.

“i am still a manly man a man who is manly” roman is fantastic at affirming people’s genders and hyping them up and can really tell when people need it, and will aggressively correct anyone who misgenders someone.

roman will also DESTROY transphobes in arguments. even arguments that didn’t originally involve roman at all.

virgil. hoodie. dysphoria hoodie. need i say more?

actually, yes, i do need to say more about virgil: dyed hair. emo. anxiety. do YOU know any emos with mental illness and dyed hair who are CIS? yeah that’s what i thought. (/j @ anyone who fits this description you’re valid <3)

and: if roman is really good at helping people deal with dysphoria via words of affirmation, virgil is the one with all the tips & tricks on practical ways to decrease dysphoria and increase euphoria.

janus is that person who reminds all of the rest of us to make sure we’re dealing with our dysphoria in healthy ways. the one who posts reminders to stretch and hydrate and take deep breaths and make sure you haven’t been binding or tucking too long

janus aggressively centers and celebrates trans joy

janus is the one who reminds everyone not to engage with transphobes (especially terfs) because they aren’t actually looking to have a conversation, they’re looking to hurt us, and aren’t worth our time or attention.

janus is also the one who makes gleeful jokes about cis people and reminds us all how awesome cool and sexy it is to be trans.

patton is the parent friend who will absolutely smother you in affection to make up for anyone who’s not giving you the love you deserve.

patton also is really good at finding little ways to increase people’s euphoria! compliments, gifts, “this made me think of you,” and so on.

patton gets really excited to celebrate any sort of milestone about people’s experiences! it’s been a month since someone figured out their name? guess who’s baking cookies to celebrate! someone’s trying out new pronouns? guess it’s time to gather the friend group and drive to a local playground to hang out and push each other way too high on the swing set! it’s been a year since you came out? patton remembers and there is cake.

the sides love you and think you’re super neat :) so do i

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yelena-bellova · 4 years ago

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Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen: Under New Management

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n and Poe await an update on Leia and attend a meeting with the rest of the Resistance. Afterwards, Y/n takes the opportunity to have an important conversation with Poe.

Warnings: light angst

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: I didn’t spell check this one too much because I was happy with how it turned out and if I evaluate too much, I’ll end up hating it lol. I’m trying not to overthink my writing anymore, easier said than done. Hopefully you enjoy!

—————

She was going to be alright.

Most likely.

Possibly.

The medics couldn’t give me a definitive answer as to whether Mom would live or not. She was a fighter, they’d said, and her pulse and oxygen levels were stable. However, none of them had ever dealt with a patent having been sucked into the vacuum of space so they were basically guessing. Coma patients could go either way, they’d told me sadly. I was frustrated, but understanding and thankful for their honesty with me. Mom was placed in med bay quarters and was to be heavily monitored.

We sat at either end of her bed, Poe near her feet and me holding her hand and studying her peaceful face. The medics had left, assuring me that if they detected her levels changing so much as one number, they’d come running. Her skin had finally warmed up, the ice crystals on her face had disappeared. She looked so normal, as if she was simply taking a nap. What I’d have given for the situation to be as normal as that and waking her up as easy as calling her name…

Poe and I sat in a tense silence until the beeps of our communicators broke it, a message alerting us that a meeting was to be held. Attendance was mandatory.

I drew a breath slowly, trying to collect my thoughts and calm my ever racing pulse. I could practically hear my mother’s voice telling me to go do my job and not worry about her. She would be right, war didn’t wait for illness and truth be told, I wanted to go do my part. The Resistance was in shambles currently and the desire to help piece it back together was almost overwhelming. By no means did my drive lessen the difficulty of leaving Mom alone and comatose.

I rolled my head to look over at Poe, “We have to go.” He sighed and rubbed his face harshly, it was just as hard for him to leave her, “Yeah…We come right back after though.”

We rose from our seats and I laid a featherlight kiss to Mom’s forehead, squeezing her hand one last time before hesitantly walking away. Poe took my hand into his and pressed his lips to it as we left her room, I was beyond grateful for his steady presence during all of this. But the lingering cloud of guilt still hung over my head that I hadn’t told him yet about my secret. Now that he had noticed when I’d sensed the bridge’s destruction, he was inevitably going to have questions. At some point amidst the chaos that had suddenly overtaken our lives, I’d find a time to tell him.

We retained an appearance of professionalism once we reached the second bridge, dropping our hands and going to stand with our respective groups. It felt wrong not having him sit with me and the other commanders, I watched him bite back a sad smile as he mixed among the other pilots. Commander D’Acy looked more prepared than I was capable of as I approached her, “I can deliver the news about your mother if you’d like,” she offered, the two of us standing off to the side of the room, “Is there any news?” “No, unfortunately,” I answered, “But I’ll give the news with you. She would kill me if I left my duties to others.” D’Acy nodded and we walked together to the center of the room, silence fell as we took our places. I awkwardly stepped forward, I wasn’t used to commanding the attention of a room. I was sent on missions, some like Jakku and some diplomatic, I even helped with battle strategies. But I wasn’t typically addressing crowds, it felt strange to have everyone’s eyes on me.

I took a deep breath, “General Organa…Leia,” my voice almost faltered, but I squared my shoulders and pictured my mother standing tall, “Is unconscious but she’s recovering. That’s the only information I have and unfortunately, it’s the only piece of good news I can give.” I turned to D’Acy for confirmation, even though I already knew what I was about to say to be true.

“Admiral Ackbar, all of our leadership,” I paused, trying to find the strength to finish, “They’re all gone.” Groans and gasps left everyone’s lips, this part of leading was one I could quickly learn to hate. I didn’t like disappointing people and my stomach twisted as I took in everyone’s faces. Poe, though distressed, gave me a small nod of encouragement to keep going,

“Leia was the sole survivor of the bridge by some miracle,” I continued, omitting the aspect of the Force, “If she were standing here with us, she would say to save your sorrow for after the fight. Right now, we have to live by those words, as hard as that may be…Commander D’Acy?” I traded places with her, taking a seat and waiting for her announcement.

“The chain of command is clear as to who should take General Organa’s place,” D’Acy began, my eyes flickered to Poe who I noticed sat up straighter at her words. I also took note of the fact that I had as well, why was that? I had always assumed that my mother would put me in command should something happen to her, it felt wrong to think of someone else doing it.

“Vice Admiral Holdo of the cruiser Ninka,” D’Acy announced, Poe looked just as unknowingly disappointed as I suspected I did.

I’d met Holdo several times over my years in the Resistance, I’d never had a fully formed opinion on her. She was reserved yet held a commanding presence, but I’d always gotten the impression that she didn’t care for me. Our leadership styles differed greatly, she carried an air of superiority that I made sure never to. The few times that Dad had come up in passing conversation, her expression had always changed to one of distaste. Maybe she held the fact that my father was a smuggler against me, I was never sure. It didn’t matter, she was now my superior. Mom had chosen her and not me.

Holdo stepped forward as D’Acy came to sit next to me and the room awaited her words.

“Thank you, Commanders,” she nodded in our direction, “Four hundred of us on three ships. We’re the very last of the Resistance. But we’re not alone. In every corner of the galaxy, the downtrodden and oppressed know our symbol, and they put their hope in it. We are the spark that will light the fire that will restore the Republic. That spark, this Resistance, must survive. That is our mission. Now, to your stations, and may the Force be with us.” She knew how to give a speech, I’d give her that. My mother’s influence was audible in her words, but the lack of layout of a plan worried me. Were we all just supposed to go back to business as usual? Ignoring the fact that there was a fleet of Star Destroyers on our tail? None of it felt right.

The crowd begin to disperse, doing exactly what they’d been told. D’Acy and I stood to leave but not before she placed a hand on my arm,

“Please update us if anything changes on your mother.”

“Of course,” I nodded. I turned around to go find Poe, but rather than join him I saw him in pursuit of Holdo. No doubt he was thinking the same things I was, but Poe took action while I debated internally. Still, it couldn’t hurt to see where Holdo’s head was at. I climbed the steps and made my way towards them, as soon as I was close it seemed the conversation was already ending. The last words I caught from Holdo were “stick to your post and follow my orders.” As she gracefully walked away, Poe was left dumbstruck in her wake. I chuckled and patted him on the shoulder, “She didn’t fall for the Dameron charm?” “You won’t do any better,” he replied lowly.

“Oh, don’t worry, I already know she doesn’t like me,” I said quietly before heading in Holdo’s direction. It was unlikely I’d get anything out of her that Poe hadn’t. but maybe I could approach her differently. I was Leia’s daughter, I’d grown up in Galactic Senate meetings, diplomacy was one of my skills.

“Vice Admiral,” I called, Holdo turned to face me, “That was a wonderful speech, very inspiring. I was wondering what our plan of action was regarding putting distance between us and the Star Destroyers.”

“I appreciate your concern, Commander Solo,” she smiled politely, “At the moment I’m advising everyone to stick to their posts and let us handle things.”

“Well, yes, I agree. As a Commander, this is my post and I’m supposed to help handle things.”

“Your job for the time being is to stay with your mother,” Holdo placed her hands on my arms patronizingly, “We can handle everything from here and if you’re needed, we will find you.”

There it was. I was supposed to stay out of the way while the adults handled the situation. I’d earned respect among my co-workers and proved that though young, I knew what I was doing. But Holdo and I had never consistently worked together. She saw me as a young, naive woman put in a position she couldn’t handle.

“With all due respect, Vice Admiral,” I smiled, trying to hide my growing frustration, “While I will be checking in on my mother regularly, I also want to do my job. And right now my job is to help us get out of range of those Destroyers. So if there’s a plan in place, I’d like to be made aware of it.”

“Commander Solo, I understand your frustration with the situation. But I’m going to tell you the same thing I told your boyfriend, Captain Dameron…Stick to your post and follow my orders.” With that, she went on her way leaving me in the same position I’d found Poe in. If there was a plan, I clearly was not going to be let in on it.

—————

Mom hadn’t changed in the short time I’d been away. Though I’d returned with the hope that I’d find her awake and ready to take charge.

I was pacing the room anxiously, playing back my conversation with Holdo and trying to map out the conversation I was about to have. Poe would inevitably end up here and I couldn’t put off telling him about my powers any longer. I couldn’t hold back the painful details or make it sound simpler than it actually was, he was getting the messy truth about the secret I’d kept from him.

“Hey," he greeted at the door, having changed into his fatigues, “Any change?” “Mmm mmm,” I hummed, “Which isn’t a bad thing but…” “Obviously not what we want.” I shook my head and sighed, “Holdo’s just as fun as I remember.” Poe bristled at the memory of his interaction with the Vice Admiral and placed his hands on his hips, “Yeah, don’t think for a second that I’m letting that one go. What’d she say to you?” “Stick to my post and follow her orders. I’ll be commed if they need me, otherwise I’m supposed to stay here at my mother’s bedside. She also definitely holds the fact that we’re together against me.” He groaned in disgust and ran a hand through his hair. How Poe managed to look so wildly attractive in the worst circumstances befuddled me, but it was a welcome distraction. I’d always loved how he looked in that dark brown leather jacket…

“Okay, so Holdo may not have a plan,” he started, gesturing towards the door, “But what about us?”

I turned to Mom, wishing more than anything that she was awake. I needed her guidance and the Resistance needed her leadership.

“We’ll come up with something but right now,” I walked towards Poe and took his hand, “I need to tell you something.”

His expression changed to one of concern, he quickly took my other hand, “Is something wrong?” “No, and yes, but mostly no. It depends on how you look at it but,” I stopped and tried to give a small smile, “I’ll let you decide whether it’s good or bad.” I led him to our seats next to my mother and sat close enough that our knees pressed together. Poe’s hands immediately rested on mine as he leaned forward, I inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled before laying my hands on top of his,

“You know me, you know my story, you know my life hasn’t been…easy,” I began nervously, “With all I’ve told you, you’ve never once judged me or treated me differently.” “Right,” Poe chimed in, his eyes never leaving mine, “I love every part of you.”

I smiled at his words and dragged my eyes down to our hands, “I guess I’m asking you to love one more part.”

I stood up slowly and positioned myself a few feet away from him before reaching into my jacket. I unhooked my lightsaber and held it up, flipping the switch and watching the weapon come to life. Poe’s eyes went wide, his jaw fell slack and he twisted his body to face me. It took a lot to stun Poe into silence but this was easily the most shocked I’d ever seen him. Rightfully so, I’d just dropped a bomb on him.

After finally blinking a few times, he began to stammer out a response, “Y-Yeah, okay, that’s uh, that’s something worth mentioning.” I sighed, at least he wasn’t freaking out yet. Involuntarily I rocked the saber slightly from side to side, Poe’s eyes followed the blue blade in wonder. I didn’t know if he’d ever seen one in person but the way he was reacting to it made me think he’d only heard stories.

“How long have you been a…had this…” he fumbled, “How long?” I deactivated the lightsaber and hooked it back inside my jacket, “Since I was a child.” Poe’s eyes blew open again and his brows raised, “You kept it a secret for that long?” I once again took my seat across from him, “I discovered I had the Force when I was a kid, only one other person knew in my family and…” I fiddled with a loose thread on my jacket, “And it wasn’t my mom or dad.” “I got it,” Poe said softly, his fingers coming to brush over my knee comfortingly.

I forced myself to keep going, “I kept it a secret through my life because I was scared of what I could do. Imagine being eight years old and knowing you have this power, I was terrified of myself for the longest time. Eventually, once I was older, I began practicing using the Force. Just stupid stuff like moving pens. It felt…good. Like I’d been denying a part of myself by not using the gift I had.”

My pulse began to pick up as I sorted through the more tragic parts of my story, “I, uh,” I cleared my throat to try and dislodge the lump forming, “My lightsaber came from a confrontation I had, with him. I knew he was in trouble and I took the Falcon to go rescue him,” I focused my eyes on my lap, “I was too late.” Poe was tearfully listening to my every word, he was hunched over with his hands clutching my legs. It grounded me in a way that kept me able to recount my tale to him. He was my rock. “Ever since then, I’ve been training on my own,” I continued more steadily, “Mostly in the forest back on D’Qar or in my room. Things changed on Takodana. I used my saber during the fight to protect Finn, him and my dad saw and the secret was no more. Afterwards, Dad had words for me that I’ll spend the rest of my life grateful for. He’s the reason that I decided to stop being so afraid of my powers.”

We were both smiling at that point, me from the warm memories and Poe probably simply because I was.

“Everything came to a head at Starkiller,” a chill ran down my back, “After my father was killed…Ren and I fought each other and he tried to get me to join him. I was so angry, I wanted to kill him for all the wrong reasons. If he’s going to die, it should be to save the galaxy not because of a personal vendetta. My dad, for all his shortcomings, was not a vengeful person and neither am I.”

I bit my lip and turned my gaze to Mom, “I thought I’d kept my secret hidden from her but turns out, she knew all along. I don’t know why I was so surprised, of course she knew…”

Poe laughed and I followed immediately after, slipping my fingers through the cracks between his. He squeezed my palms and smiled proudly,

“You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met,” he complimented, staring into my y/e/c eyes with so much love, “I can’t even begin to tell you how proud I am of you.”

“So you’re not, I don’t know, scared?” I asked, scrunching my face slightly out of fear of what he could say.

Poe chortled and moved his hands to my cheeks, pulling me in for a soft kiss. I could feel the warmth and tenderness in the motion, it was sweeter than the recent ones we’d been enjoying. When we pulled away, he rubbed his thumb slowly over the skin, “I could never be scared of you, sweetheart.” Relief flooded my body, I’d never felt so unconditionally loved in my life by anyone other than my parents. With how little I’d thought of myself since I discovered my powers, I’d fallen into the belief that everyone else would feel the same way. Poe was destroying every lie I’d told myself with each second that he stared at me with adoration on his face.

“I do have one question,” Poe leaned back in his seat, “If it’s not a secret anymore, are you gonna stop hiding your lightsaber?” “Huh,” I chuckled, “I hadn’t even thought about that.” “What’re you waiting for?” Poe crossed his arms and lightly bumped his boot against my shin, “I want everybody to know I’m in love with a badass Jedi.”

“I’m not a Jedi,” I was quick to end that assumption. Though I was embracing my gift, I wasn’t ready to take that definitive step yet.

“Whatever you say, Master,” Poe jested followed by a charming wink.

I smirked at him before getting up from my seat, Poe had a point. There really was no reason to hide it anymore, it would probably feel great even. I unhooked the lightsaber from my jacket, letting it weigh in my hand for a few seconds as I gazed fondly at it. The more at ease I became with my powers, the more I grew to love the weapon I’d once feared. Taking a quick glance at Poe who was grinning proudly, I attached the saber to my holster for anyone and everyone to see. It felt right. Poe rose to come stand in front of me,

“Thank you,” I whispered, resting my hands on his chest.

His hands found their new familiar spot on my waist, “For what?” “Being you.” Poe leaned down and nuzzled his nose against mine, “I’m not me without you.” I wanted the moment to last longer, we needed it. Peace in the type of circumstances we were in was rare and fleeting and I knew it would have to end soon. The First Order was chasing us, my mother still lay unconscious and there was questionable leadership guiding us, but at least I had Poe. With him, I was fairly certain we could figure our way out of anything.

“Poe, Y/n,” a voice interrupted our lovely silence.

We broke apart to see an urgent Finn in the doorway with a black-haired woman standing behind him.

“What’s going on?” Poe asked.

“This is Rose,” Finn gestured to her, Rose held up a hand in greeting, “We think we may have figured out a way to escape from the Destroyers.”

————

A/N: *sigh* Everyone deserves a boyfriend as supportive as Poe. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, let me know if you’d like to be added to either of the taglists ☺️

Taglist: @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @springfox04 @constantdisgrace @holybatflapexpert @seninjakitey @tammythompson-singslikea-muppet @leilei-draws @eternal-fandoms @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @imaginecrushes @eternallyvenus @thescarletknight2014 @simplybarnes @captain-america5 @breyasficletblog @caseymcflurry @stumbleonmywords @april-14-blog @i-ievu @ultrunning @desperatelytryingtosavemyself @caswinchester2000 @meraki-loki @lovinnholland @wishing4wishes @fruitloopzzz

Star Wars Permanent Taglist: @paintballkid711 @katrynec @caswinchester2000

#poe dameron series #poe dameron x solo!reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Sober (Symnali) - Pazinae

Summary: College girl Symone and her house love throwing parties. Denali loves a fun time, and finds herself there every weekend. Just to get drunk and party of course. No other reason. (AKA pretty lesbians in denial)

AN: a drabble inspired by denali coming over to the house of avalon a while ago, getting v drunk and dancing w symone (the outfit symone wears in the fic is from that day www.instagram.com/p/CODlQtnp-KM/ denali is wearing the pink dress from one of her older posts). also the time they streamed and were just drunkenly complimenting each other is the absolute Cutest and symnali is underrated. i have a lot of ideas for this so if yall are interested ill write a whole thing of what happened that night <3. my first fic and concrit is very much welcome!! song is sober by lorde :>

—

//Night, midnight, lose my mind

Night, midnight, lose my mind

Night, midnight−//

They called themselves House Of Avalon. They had all pitched in to rent a house near campus over the summer, and a place leased for a year consisting of young 20 year olds can only go as well as you can imagine. Yet getting ready for their parties surrounded by constant noise and the dozens of paintings, framed photos, and tchotchkes lining the wall, was a comfortable kind of chaos. As chaotic as they may be, they undeniably threw the best parties. Not to mention their outfits never missed, especially not Symone.

The madness of creative, raging queers all shoehorned together to form the most disorderly harmony was a type of home Symone wanted to bask in forever, and, quite honestly, the driving reason to stay in the boring hell hole that is college. The obligation of finishing this shit for a flimsy paper and bragging rights was a little more grounded when it’s the only reason her friends are currently living with her. One day this will all be done, and they can find a job with their degrees. Finish college like everyone wants her too, make everyone proud that yes, she did it, and together the House Of Avalon can buy a huge house with 5 guest bedrooms so everyone and their mama can visit. Throw the biggest parties, a pool in their backyard with an outdoor kitchen, a huge patio out front by the house gates, and they could even install a stripper pole in the living room. Until then she’ll be up at 7:30am to ride the train for her morning class.

The thought of the a certain dimpled blonde helped make the week bearable because at least on the weekends she can fly to somewhere else. With someone else.

Symone, Gigi and Rosy hung around the sofa together, getting tipsy as they waited for more people to pour in. They chattered mindlessly, the comfort between the three was an indescribable kind, so effortless and familiar. But in between each pause in conversation, when the laughs and talk of annoying professors and ugly hair trends came to a brief end, Symone couldn’t help but scan the room. Peeking out the corner of her eye for a certain pair of hooded eyes hopefully lingering around. A girl with the most distinct, beautifully symmetric face that can charm a room, and a sugary voice so addictive to listen to even without a sweet tooth. She could listen to Denali talk and ramble as much as she wanted about anything in the world, and she’d eagerly nod along. Her hazy tone when she’s slurring and half awake, to the chirps and goofy grins at the height of the night. The adorable glint in her eyes of passion and excitement when she drunkenly goes off about some kpop group Symones never heard of before, but might just happen to start coming across more. Her dancing like a duck that makes Symone squeal, and cheer, and hide her face in her shoulder so no one can see the smile she’s unable to bite back. She dawdles around with her infectious giddiness and smile so comforting it eases the absurdity and rushing high Symone constantly lives with. And it helps that she’s built like some athlete godsend with the prettiest arms and perfect curves and the most stunning thighs and calves and soft warm blonde hair with icy blue tips to frame her angelic face. She’s been drinking and it’s definitely just the alcohol that makes her head waiver and ramble.

Time rushes by wedged between her sisters, and soon Symone holds an empty cup for the second already. The house has certainly been getting fuller and fuller. Glancing around, she finds the only person she could (and frankly would) look at for all of eternity, staring at her. Denali’s hair is scooped into two high ponytails at either side, and her body’s fit into a little off the shoulder pink mini dress that hugged her body all too well. Symone wanted nothing more than to just hold her, dance the night away until the jumble of noises and bodies fade out. Seeing her just standing there, perfect and still, a toothy grin is plastered on Symone’s face without her consent. She barely even knows Denali but her sheer presence brightens the room, sends butterflies to flutter around like she’s having some cheesy school girl crush. She can’t tell you what Denali’s favorite TV show, movie or season is, or how she likes her coffee. But if the world were to close in on them right now, have the walls disintegrate, ceilings crumble and the heaps of flesh around them melt into the floorboards under them- they’d still be yelling out the wrong lyrics while they twirl against the counter tops. Rush outside and run in the pitch black where nothing exists but each other in their hands- and that’s good enough for her.

Denali just likes Symone because she wants to have fun, and Symone’s good at that. It’s okay that she won’t ever like Symone when she’s sober; When she’s quiet, and wrapped in a blanket over her hoodie starring at the ceiling. When she’s fidgeting with her nails and playing with her the tips of her hair instead of talking. When she burns mac and cheese and decides to have a bag of ketchup chips for lunch. Whatever it is they have; it’s still good enough for her.

Damn maybe Symone does think a little too much. She winks at the dumbstruck skater. The night’s just begun, and the only exit signs in the labyrinth in her sinkhole of a mind is alcohol and/or Denali. Symone wants the and version.

//Oh, God, I’m clean out of air in my lungs

It’s all gone, played it so nonchalant//

When Denali came through the door she not-so-subtly headed straight to the living room. She had barely glanced in their direction- but she saw her. She was laughing, in her little squad of pretty girls. The clique of long legged doe-eyed queens stand in the center of the living room in their mini skirts and low waisted pants- lifelike statues seemingly taking up all the air in the crowded room. She can’t help it if she stares a bit! They have cute outfits and Denali just wants some inspiration. Everyone’s gawked at the trio anyways. She looks at Symone, because of the cute fuzzy blue bucket hat adorned on her head. No other reason.

But it’s hard to look away when her face- her makeup is so stunning. With a shimmery pink cut crease, and glossy lips, and dabbles of pink brightening her cheeks. Lashes that make her eyes pop, and the highlight on her glistening skin matched with her flimsy silver spaghetti strap crop top that made her shine even more like a radiant disco ball. The backless top is tied together behind, with a thin string leaving the space between her neck to ass as exposed skin. How could a person be so perfect? And addicting to look at? Unzipped jeans hung at the curve of her hip to show her pink thong, which rose to hug her waist. Pink wedge heels lie under her painted toe nails, and fuck was she a living bratz doll. It wasn’t Denali’s fault that she was objectively so head to toe stunning. It wasn’t her fault that she bit the inside of her lip a litte. It wasn’t her fault that her heart skipped when she was bent over in laughter and cupping her manicured hands over her mouth. It wasn’t her fault that she forgot to look away. It wasn’t her fault that when Symone caught her gaze she stood there frozen (if the options are fight, flight or freeze, which do you think the ice girl is gonna do?). It wasn’t her fault that she forgot how to breathe when the enchantress gave her a wink. She smiles and waves in return. Someone taps Symone’s shoulder for her attention, and she looks busy.

Denali pushes away, swimming through the sea of humans swarming the halls until she can identify the way to the kitchen. She needs a drink. It’s early and she’s far too sober for this.

//It’s time we danced with the truth

Move along with the truth//

There’s no reason why she’d be into Denali. She could literally get anyone she wanted, with her gleaming smile and cute laugh, and the way she can make you smile and feel important and wanted. The way she stops sipping in her red solo cup to look at you, to nod at every word and stare like you’re beautiful and matter. The way it’s impossible for her to not be the prettiest in the room. Denali takes a shot, the burning taste a welcome pain at the back of her tongue.

Five months ago when Denali took a sharp breath outside the main door, she made Rose come with her because, fuck, she wasn’t going to a party by herself. Not back then, at least. When she was a flustered freshman in October who didn’t know how to have a good time. Back when she first met the party throwers, and a certain captivating spirit with braided honey gold hair in a skimpy black dress took shots with her. Complimented her wispy hair dyed blue at the ends. Told her she looked amazing in slurred giggles. Because she was tipsy. The truth is the only time this will mean anything is when the world starts spinning, the room gets hot, and their minds start to blur.

//Ooh (Hey)

We’re sleepin’ through all the days

I’m actin’ like I don’t see

Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me//

“You good diva?“

"Nnnm, gimme uh ‘nother few minutes" Symone’s head is pounding, and the only thing on her mind is the dazy blanketing warmth of sleep. Her mind is a knotted, jumbled up mess and trying to think about anything other than passing out makes her head throb. Natural light from the outside pours through the windows, and through her squinted eyes, the wooden table across the room is glowing from the suns heat. A vague need to eat, drink water, and vomit creep up on her. She turns to lay on her side, wedges the blanket between her arms, pulls it higher up and tucks her hands under her head.

"You sure?”

“You still have your makeup you want to wash it off?”

“We can take it off”

“Girl its 2pm"

"Let her sleep!"

Half asleep, all the different voices mesh as one blob of noise. Indistinct chatter fades as Symone slowly luls back to sleep. Until-

"Where should I put the polaroids of Symone and Denali making out?” Peaceful slumber is very quickly forgotten when realization is drawn.

“What the fuck happened last night?” Is the only thing Symone can muster out before throwing her head deeper into the pillow, all of a sudden quite awake. Focusing on the vague mist of memories from the night before, she replays it through her head starting from when she went up to Denali, taking shots in the kitchen.

#rpdr fanfiction #denali foxx #symone #denali x symone #rare pair #fluff #angst #lesbian au #s13 #college au #submission #fic challenge #song fic #sober #pazinae

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king-paimon · 5 years ago

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HNK Opinion: Defending the Earth gems

This has been a post that I’d been meaning to post for a good, long while and because the new chapter is supposedly focusing on the earth gems, I thought now would be a good time to post it, especially since the chapter will be popping up soon. This post was constructed BEFORE the Chapter 83 leak, so there won’t be any information from that chapter here.

Warning: This post contains opinions and critiques that may be very different from most in the HnK fandom, especially regarding the earth gems and their currently destroyed relationship with Phos. I know some will strongly disagree with me and I hope I won’t upset you too much with what I have to say. I promise, I’m not looking for a fight; I just want to give my honest thoughts about these characters as well as how I feel about the fandom’s treatment towards them thus far. I was honestly debating on whether to post this for a long time because I was scared of any backlash...But you know what? I’m going for it.This will be another really long post. If you want to comment or discuss anything in this post, feel free to reblog, comment, or even send an ask. I’d love to have a conversation about this. Again, hopefully I won’t make too many people upset. And sorry for my messy formatting again; I’m not very confident in my writing skills. Anyways, here we GO!

I must first say that these thoughts have been festering in my mind for a while, especially after noticing many posts about the growing hatred towards the earth gems, especially in the most recent chapters. Some people being angry at them for not listening to Phos, fighting him, shattering him, and in the latest chapters, chasing Phos down like an animal. So… yeah, I can see why they’re getting a lot of hate. But, in my opinion, this isn’t fair to them.

I want to make it clear that I don’t think that the earth gems are completely in the right for all of their actions, but I also don’t think they’re in the wrong. Simply based from what happened in the story from the earth gems’ perspective, especially their interactions with Phos ever since he first came back from the moon, most of their actions and shifted attitude towards Phos is justifiable. (With emphasis on most)

Burnt bridges: The destroyed relationship between Phos and the earth gems

Recall what happened the first two times that Phos came back from the moon but see if from the earth gems’ perspective:

The first time: Phos convinces (or to not sugarcoat: manipulates) a good handful of the gems to go with him to the moon, a place where many of their other comrades had been taken and had not come back. Most of the gems already had their own reasons for wanting to go to the moon, save for Padparadscha and Cairgorm, and Phos intentionally feed into their curiosity to get them to go with him. (Chapter 60, page 13; Chapter 65, page 04) Other than his one-sided confrontation with Adamant, I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell the full truth behind his actions to the other gems: he just gave his selected few bait that would influence them to come with him to the moon. And though he did do it for their benefit (or so he wants to believe), the main drive behind this act to get a reaction from Adamant for Aechmea. Some of the earth gems were already wary of Phos because of how he was acting but this main act sealed how most of the earth gems would see Phos from then on: a wolf in sheep’s clothing. (or: a Lunarian in gem clothing, though it’s literally the other way around… I hope you get what I mean)

(Chapter 60, page 13)

(Chapter 65, page 04)

The second time: Phos comes back with clear stated intentions of ‘breaking’ Adamant. Throughout the two chapters, Phos repeatedly tells the gems that Adamant was just ‘a broken machine’ who didn’t truly care about them and that dealing with him and for the other gems to change ‘was for their own good.’

(Chapter 69, page 19)

(Page 70, page 09)

So, at least to me, it made sense that the earth gems would be reacted the way that they did. However, I’ll give credit to Phos for actually speaking some of the truth behind his actions, though Bort refused to listen.

(Chapter 70, page 07)

But honestly, after what he did the first visit he came back, why would Bort believe Phos? This information was coming from Phos after all, and he’s now known by the others for his manipulating skills and is believed to be corrupted by the Lunarians and his own weak will (according to Bort), so why should they trust what he’s saying? Sure, Adamant advocated for Phos and pleaded with the earth gems to go to the moon, but besides seeing Padparadscha move again though was described as also being ‘nuts’ and possibly also ‘corrupted’, they still don’t have reason to believe going to the moon is a good idea. And as far as they’ve seen, Phos’s actions seemed to benefit the Lunarians more than them.

Maybe if Phos told them all of this instead of taking the others to the moon, maybe the gems would’ve been more willing to believe him? But after all that had happened thus far, I think that ship had sailed, for this event just further cemented the distrust the earth gems had with Phos. At least Euclase seems to be one of the very few who’s still interested in salvaging the relationship, whether it’s because he does want the relationship back or use it to figure out what exactly was going on with Phos and the other moon gems.

The third time: I think it was at this point of the story that I started seeing parts of the fandom strongly disliking the earth gems, and while I totally understand where they’re coming from, I strongly don’t agree. Yes, this time Phos came back with intentions to just talk, to possible negotiate with Adamant and the other gems and yes, it would have been nice to have the earth gems listen to what Phos had to say. But really… after what happened the last two times he came back and after seeing how the earth gems were processing everything, why would anyone think that the earth gems welcome Phos back with open arms? Other than Euclase and maybe Cinnabar, the kinship the others once felt for Phos is gone.

The other part of these chapters that generated a lot of anger towards the earth gems was the shattering of Phos. Again, I understand the anger but this action, in my opinion, is also reasonable if you look at what happened from their perspective. We as the readers assume that Phos reaching out towards Adamant at the end of chapter 77 was a desperate, pleading gesture. (Chapter 77, page 18) But from the earth gems perspective, this was another act of aggression. Remember, the gems have already witnessed Phos act aggressively towards Adamant multiple times both before and after he went to the moon, and the gems knew that Phos had ill intentions for Adamant the last time came back, hence why they not only hid Adamant but fought Phos. With that in mind, the earth gems simply acted accordingly by continuing to protect Adamant from Phos. (Also, it’s kind of hard to tell how fast those alloy tentacles were moving. Based on how the page was laid out, it could’ve been a slow movement, but it could’ve been a fast one, too. If it was a fast motion, then it would also make sense why the gems quickly threw their weapons at Phos.) And I’m sure that this engrained perception of Phos has been further strengthened after the gems clearly witness Phos attacking Adamant after the 200-year skip in chapters 79 and 80. Again, from their perspective, they see Phos attacking and they acted accordingly.

So, after all of this, what does Phos’s track record look like in the eyes of the earth gems:

Phos broke the trust of his fellow gems

Phos manipulated most of the susceptible gems with half-truth/empty promises for better things, and he took most of them to the moon, the final resting place of past gems

Phos was willing to attack Adamant or the other gems, almost remorselessly

And though Phos may try to convince them, as well as himself, that he did these things for the greater good of all of them, these were still some very shady things that he did. So much so that if the manga was solely from the perspective of the earth gems, Phos would be painted as the villain of the story.

(Chapter 60, page 15)

Speaking of villains, I can’t help but feel like some of these facts parallel with another certain character…

(I don’t care what chapter/page I got this from. He’s always look like he’s up to something bad)

Ok... I admit. This is a bit of a stretch and I’m looking too much into this, but I can’t help but see some parallels between them, mainly with how they manipulate others for personal gain, though Aechmea is still clearly the worse and Phos is simply a poor victim of his influence who seems to get the worse out of it and currently, it doesn’t look like Phos will get out of his grasp anytime soon.

I sincerely hope someone can snap him out of it before it’s truly too late.

My thoughts of the Fandom’s attitude towards the earth gems:

I am going to be a little heated in this section. I promise I’m not attacking anyone in particular: I’m just… really slight irritated by this certain idea that I’ve seen circulating for a while.

As mentioned before, I noticed some anger or rather frustration from the fandom towards the earth gems through chapters 70-82. So based off these past actions, was it really surprising that most the earth gems weren’t too willing to listen to Phos after he comes back a third time? I know several readers have stated that “The earth gems should have listened to what Phos had to say! They’re being unfair to Phos!” I think it was comments like this that sort of rubbed me the wrong way.

Given the limited understanding that the earth gems have of the situation and Phos’s past actions, what sort of reaction were you guys hoping for, exactly? I’m honestly curious. After everything that they have experienced with Phos, would you expect them to just be like this?:

“Oh, hi Phos? Welcome back! I know the last time you were here, not only did you lie to us repeatedly but you also took some of our family to the moon to then come back again to ‘break’ Adamant, while telling us that you did it ‘for our own good’ without a proper explanation... but that’s water under the bridge! I’ll totally listen to what you have to say and not think that it was influenced by the Lunarians, who have taken most of our loved ones away to never be seen again!”

Ok... that was harsh of me to say or mock and I’m truly sorry to anyone that I might’ve offended but this is how I feel about this mentality. I just don’t understand why some readers thought the earth gems would just listen to what Phos had to say after everything that happened or why they would be angry that they didn’t. Maybe I’m missing something...

This is an honest question to anyone who reads this: What was the scenario you were hoping for upon Phos’ return? And if you were in the earth gems shoes, how would you’ve reacted? I personally can’t picture Chapter 79 and 80 go in any other direction given everything else that happened up till that point.

If things had played out differently, maybe the end result would’ve been less... harsh. Maybe if Phos was more honest with all of them when he first came back from the moon, maybe they would’ve believed more. But I know, considering the circumstances before then, specifically Adamant being elusive and not forthcoming himself, I see why Phos made his decisions, even though a lot of them were not morally good. If only they were freakn’ honest with each other, Phos and the others But it’s too late now. Whether he intended to or not, he successfully burned bridges and when he tried to erect them back up, the earth gems tore them back down. You reap what you sow. And now Phos is in the worst mindset and I’m . Again, unlike many in the fandom, whether joking or not, I really don’t want this to lead to Phos truly going berserk and destroying the other gems. That would break my heart more than it already has and I can only imagine how Phos would feel afterwards.

Final words:

I realize that what I’ve said probably won’t sit well with some fans and they will likely disagree with me, but that’s fine. Like I said before, I didn’t intend on picking a fight with anyone and really hope didn’t offend anyone too much. To the critics of the earth gems, even though I may disagree with you, I still respect your opinions. I just felt the need to defend the earth gems because I felt they were getting very little support for a while. Again, I’m not saying that the earth gems were completely in right nor Phos deserved what happened to him. I am saying that I can at least understand why they acted the way that they did, just like Phos, and I just personally felt it’s unfair that they are detested for their actions while Phos doesn’t seem to get a lot of criticism for his actions.

Maybe the new chapter will change the tune of some of the earth gems’ harsher critics, maybe it won’t. Maybe it’ll even have me change my stance on them a bit. We’ll have to wait and see I guess.

I’m nervous and excited to see what’ll happen next. But regardless of what happens, I do still hope in the end that the gems, including Phos, will come back together somehow and have a true happy ending. (Not in the morbid way, please? No turning everyone into dust or incorporating them into Phos’s broken body. Please no. Haruko Ichikawa I beg you.)

Until then…someone give that gem a hug! Please?

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fanfic-scribbles · 5 years ago

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Lunch Buddy: Chapter Fifteen

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers makes a friend. A prickly, generally people-averse friend, but they’ll both take what they can get.

Quick Facts: Friendship (/Eventual Romance) – Steve Rogers & Reader (leading to Steve Rogers/Reader) – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 15: Avoidance

Chapter Summary: The thing about avoiding your problems is that you always have to face them sooner than you think.

Chapter Word Count: 2611

A/N: Slight warnings for a little bit of angsting, and it’s a little light on Steve content (though he eventually appears from afar). Anywho. I wish I could say something cool like ‘enjoy the pining!’ but I have no idea how long I can actually keep them apart considering I have been mushing two dolls together in my head and going ‘now kiss!’ since I started posting. There will be a little pining though. Like, maybe a car air freshener, at least. Enjoy!

I avoided Steve for the rest of the long weekend. It was easier than it might have been had he not been called in for something. Though we still had texting, he was busy and I didn’t instigate. Even when we did communicate, my responses were short and didn’t leave much for follow up. He probably assumed I needed time to de-socialize, because that was the kind of guy he was, sweet and caring and all good things. Meanwhile, I knew exactly why I was trying not to talk to him, and it stressed me the hell out.

I didn’t want to think about any of it and found my perfect excuse on Monday morning, when a work project made me skip lunch and go into overtime. I immediately texted Steve telling him I’d be busy for a few days and threw myself into work. Unfortunately the project was too time-sensitive and it was done before I even clocked out Tuesday afternoon.

“Okay, this definitely isn’t about money anymore,” my boss said that evening, just when he was packing up. “Do you have a spouse you’re having a fight with?”

“I’m just…looking for stuff to do. To keep me busy.” I didn’t back down when he stared at me. “Just for this week?”

He sighed heavily and rubbed his face. “Okay. Lunches and up to one hour after if you spend it working on organizing the junk drive. Make real progress on cleaning that out and I’ll approve the overtime.”

That was two hours of mindless-but-incredibly-draining work that would put me at a worse commute time and make me crawl into bed at the end of the day, and hopefully completely wipe me out on the weekend.

Perfect.

“Thank you!” I said and started to bound out to get started on the one job everybody in my department passed around like it was a beach ball on fire.

“Seriously,” he said and I stopped. He stood there with his bag over his shoulder and asked, “Are you okay?”

I almost smiled, but remembered that would be out of character. “I’m fine,” I said and shrugged one shoulder. “Holidays, you know?”

It worked. For the most part. I at least had a plausible excuse to keep Steve off my back, and my boss didn’t press any further, and I made progress on the most mind-numbing task ever embarked upon by an actual human with an actual brain.

The only problem was that it wasn’t numbing enough. As much as I tried to avoid thinking about Steve at all, he was still in my phone, as was Sam, and even Clint and Natasha now too. Pepper wasn’t a very social texter, thankfully, but I kept getting pulled back to Steve in other ways. In the course of three days I: saw a tuft of blonde hair that made me do a double-take, heard his recorded laugh as I passed by someone who didn’t understand the concept of using headphones, and had to listen to a few older ladies gossip about ‘what a man’ he was in unfiltered detail. I even had a dream about some of the things they said because the universe hated me, apparently.

And then there was Steve himself, not texting that much, but always taking the time to send me a little photo every day that was obviously meant to make me laugh. He even sent me the ‘Hang in there’ kitten poster (which made me snort way too loudly in public) along with ‘I dare you to use this for your lockscreen for a month.’

I texted back, ‘What do I get for it?’ before I realized I was breaking my own goddamn rules and smashed my face into my desk.

Steve: Something good ;)

Oh god. Did he know what he was doing? If he did I wished he would have just put me out of my fucking misery already.

Steve: How’s work?

Fuck.

Me: Busy. Me: How’s work? Steve: Almost done Steve: I hope your job lets up this weekend Steve: Sam is coming back with me and we’re hoping you can come out with us

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Me: We’ll see

Work did let up. Unfortunately. I made good progress on organizing the long-forgotten junk drive and my boss repaid me and betrayed me in the same breath.

“I’ll approve the overtime,” he said. “But that’s it for now. You look exhausted and I need you to take the weekend to rest up, okay?”

It was the one and only time I had ever wished to have a bastard boss again. But I was tired, and I didn’t have any excuses. “Okay,” I said and left his office feeling miserable. I got home pretty quick for a Friday night, which just left me more time to think about things I really didn’t want to think about. And there was only one cure for that.

The club was busier than I was used to, busier than it had any right to be with the night just really beginning, but as soon as I got in I made a beeline for the bar and snaked in the first opening I could find. It was loud, and too crowded, and I really wasn’t up for this, but I didn’t know what else to do. So I started drinking.

That was a bad idea. Aside from the ‘using alcohol to try and drown your emotions’ being a baseline fucking awful idea, it also didn’t fucking work.

Couples. They were everywhere. Leaning next to each others’ ears, making out along the wall, dancing together like it was foreplay; they were so all over the place that even the fake ID crowd seemed less obnoxious by comparison.

Except for when a gaggle of party girls yelled right next to me for no real reason and reminded me they really weren't. The music thumped and I winced and turned away from watching the floor to sip my drink at the bar like the true lonely miser I was.

And wasn’t that just the thing.

Loneliness, as a thing in my life, had stopped bothering me after a while– or maybe I had just stopped noticing it– either way, it wasn’t generally a thing I dwelled on. I took for granted that I wasn’t the type anyone would settle in with; I was too…whatever. So for the longest time I had just assumed I’d be on my own and I was okay with it. I knew I could handle it, and figured I and everyone else was better off for it. People came and went, and no one ever stuck around before– not that I ever gave them a real reason to. And if I couldn’t make friendships work, I had no business getting into a relationship. It truly didn’t bother me. Most of the time.

So it figured I would fall for the first person I’d had qualify as ‘friend’ in a while. That thought was slightly concerning, but as long as I didn’t make these feelings Steve’s problem, I could sleep easy at night. For the most part. The question was how to deal with it. Did I continue as normal and bottle this up for the rest of time, hoping it would fade out? Did I continue as normal but let him know, and let him decide if he wanted to stick around?

Or did I just…let go. Did I stop putting in the time to keep this friendship going. Did I stop responding, start avoiding him, and just fade out of his life even easier than I had faded in. That seemed like a real option. I was so naturally good at it, had done it so much by accident, he wouldn’t even miss me. After a while I doubt he would remember I existed.

My mouth tasted sour and bitter and I tossed back my drink. It didn’t help.

An hour later I was home, sitting at my kitchen counter and hanging my face over a cup of tea that got colder by the minute. My head still pulsed in time with the beat that had driven me out of the club, but it had become less and less over time.

My phone buzzed. “Shh,” I said softly, but it ignored me and I looked over only to hurt my neck when I did a double-take. Steve had sent three texts. Shit. I sat up and opened my phone directly to my messages. If Steve had gotten injured again I was really going to hurt him.

Fortunately the first message was a simple ‘Hey’ sent soon after I had set out on my ill-advised adventure. The next was ‘Are you busy?’ and then simply my name.

I hesitated. I had the terrible thought that here was where I could start ghosting on out of his life. Fade away like the nonentity I was.

I swallowed and sent back, ‘Sry. Went out’

Steve: Oh Steve: Good :) Steve: How are you? Me: Okay Me: You? Steve: I’m okay

The conversation stalled and I realized why I had even considered ghosting– it was easy to not respond when you didn’t know what to say.

Me: Good Steve: Can I ask you Steve: Are you really okay?

His texts came too fast after mine to be responding to the silence. Fuck.

Me: Yes Me: Why?

I shouldn’t have asked, but I had a bad feeling about this. I tapped my fingers on the table while I waited for a response.

Steve: You haven’t been talking to me much lately Steve: I’m just Steve: worried Steve: Was it Thanksgiving? Steve: Was I inappropriate?

Shit, shit, shit. I hit my forehead on the table which, fucking ow, but I deserved it. I had never intended for him to feel bad for something that wasn’t his fault, nor was it ever supposed to be his problem. It wasn’t right for him to be upset because of my bullshit. So I decided to be honest.

Me: No Me: It’s not you Me: It’s very definitely me Me: I’m mis Me: miserable Me: And awful Steve: You’re not Me: Am too Me: It’s not you tho Me: I’m having a hard time Me: That’s all

Honest to a point, at least.

Steve: I’m sorry Steve: Can I help? Me: No Me: Gotta Me: Push through Steve: Okay Steve: I’m your friend though Steve: You can always come to me Steve: And hey Steve: Sam and I are going out tomorrow for dinner Steve: I’ll text you the details just in case you’re up to it Steve: But I won’t expect anything Steve: Is that okay?

Why did he have to be so fucking thoughtful all the time. Why did he have to be someone so out of my league in every single way.

Me: Fine Me: Can’t promise Steve: That’s okay <3

I was going to straight up murder whoever taught him fucking heart symbols. Preferably by taking their heart.

Steve: Have you eaten yet? Me: Don’t wanna Steve: How about dessert?

‘Only if you’re here to share it,’ I thought. The worst part was that it wasn’t even sexual– I just wanted him here. With me. All of the time. Okay, maybe not all of the time, but most of the time. And that was new. That was different. That scared the hell out of me.

Then there was a knock at my door and I froze up. Nobody had buzzed for me and while my building wasn’t exactly Fort Knox, I also didn’t expect company I didn’t explicitly invite over. I gave it a few seconds but kept my connection to Steve in hand (just in case) and went to the peephole.

Me: Someone knocked. If I don’t respond maybe send help Steve: It’s safe :)

I squinted at the message and then peered out again. I didn’t see him at all and it wasn’t like him to hide. I cautiously opened the door and looked around but there was no one– but there was something.

A bakery box sat in front of my door, with a note scrawled on receipt paper that had my name followed with very flowery bubble letters telling me to “Feel Better!” from a hand-scrawled smiling sunflower.

I stared at it, picked up the box, brought it in, set it on the counter, and stared at it some more.

Steve: Okay now you’ve put that thought into my head I’m a little worried Steve: Are you okay? Me: brb Me: crying into cake Steve: Don’t cry Steve: Or cry if you need to I guess Steve: But eat something too Steve: I’ll say good night here Steve: And text you again with dinner info Steve: Again, only if you want to. Sam and I will NOT be slighted Steve: I promise Me: Good night Steve Steve: Good night <3

“Just fucking end me,” I muttered and stared at the screen while I dug into the cake with a fork. (It was small; I felt no shame.) It was also so unbelievably good that I actually stopped and checked out the box.

Me: Wait, how did you get a cake this late??? Steve: Asking the real questions

I laughed. That surprised me, but I couldn’t help it.

Me: It’s really good Me: Thank you Steve: Anytime

I forced myself to think about this whole…situation…while I ate. Phasing out of his life was, apparently, not much of an option if he was just randomly thinking of me like this. And I knew now very firmly that even accidentally hurting him was not an option. Love was an easy word for complicated emotion, but it was the best way I knew how to classify how deeply I cared for him. And I cared, to the point where if anybody was going to get hurt, I’d rather it be me.

The more I thought about it though, the more I had real hope that maybe nobody would get hurt at all. Steve was a really good guy. So even if he accidentally found out (I knocked on wood at the thought) it wouldn’t be the end of everything. He wouldn’t let it be the end of everything; he would be flattered, reject me politely, and we could move on. I hoped.

And for once, the best-case scenario didn’t seem the least likely. I trusted Steve that much. That was something I didn’t want to look into too much, but to be fair, he also trusted…me. He would know I wasn’t infatuated with some aspect of him and we might even work past this together. If not, he would give me the chance to work past it on my own, and I wasn’t about to let him down.

The box topped off my trash so I pulled the bag together and got ready to make the trek to take it out. Coming out the door I almost ran right into my neighbor, Robert, who was apparently doing the same thing.

“Hey,” he said. I was polite like a real human being and asked after his wife and kids. We made some more small talk on the way, and he even waited to hold the chute open for me. When I lifted the bag, his eyes zeroed in on the box stuffed half in the top. “Oh, that place is nice. You celebrating something?”

“No,” I said and shoved it in. “I…wasn’t feeling so great. So a friend sent it to me.”

“That must be a pretty good friend,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said, thinking about Steve and finally feeling hopeful. “A really good friend.”

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>>

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers & reader #captain america fanfic #avengers fanfic #reader insert #lunch buddy

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ladylynse · 6 years ago

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Hello, I apologize if you have already answered what I am about to ask. When you write a story how do you develop the plot? And do you ever think about plot holes? If so how do you prevent those?

Hi, Anon. Thanks for asking!

I start with my idea. Sometimes it’s as simple as “it would be hilarious if Maddie saw Phantom get hit with the Booo-merang when she knows it reacts to her son”. Sometimes it’s a paragraph or two or ten of random ideas smushed together(technical term)--this is more or less the stage my DPxML fic is at. There’s a lot of me going, “Oooh, this would be fun” or “ooh, or I could do this”, and I’ll actually talk to myself like that in my notes. It’s long, ramble-y, grammatically incorrect, and basically the equivalent of me brainstorming some sort of initial idea, the root of the story. (I’m already rambling, so the rest of the answer will be under a read more.)

I then start doing a bit of research on stuff I’ll need to write the story. Depending on how long I’ve been in a fandom, this can be very basic stuff (people’s names) to more specific things (what day does Adrien have fencing?) and will always include some sort of cheat sheet for myself if the characters use slang (like Randy. And Jake.). If I come up with any ideas--or potential ideas--while doing that, I jot them down. Even if it’s a couple lines of dialogue or a way to end a scene, at some point, if I can write that scene into the story (eg Gwaine saw Merlin’s eyes glow gold.) All of this starts in my initial fic document and eventually gets moved to a scrap file associated with that fic. Do not delete ideas/scenes/dialogue/anything even if you aren’t currently using it. You might be able to recycle them into a different fic or later in the current story.

Then I start writing. To see if it’ll work. Even if I don’t have a very clear idea of where things are going yet, and certainly no idea of the end. Sometimes I need to try a few different ways to start a story (Reflections went through various iterations. Mockingbird and my DPxML fic are still in that stage) before I find one that seems to flow. That’s when I look at the situation the characters are in (or about to be in) and try to figure out their actions and reactions to the stuff I’m putting them through. And then I try to let that drive the plot. It’s something I’ve gotten better at over time--making it less obvious that the characters are doing that because that’s the way I want the story to go--but my best plots tend to be character-driven. (This may or may not help you avoid some plot holes. Depends on what the plot hole is. It’ll hopefully help you cut down on the “well, why didn’t they do that like they always do?” sort.)

If you need a character to do something that’s not in character for your plot to go the way you want, you need to give them a reason to act out of character (eg Danny not telling Jake his secret because there’s a paranormal studies/ghost hunters convention in town--and because Jazz keeps ragging on him). If you can’t give them that reason, then you need to find another way to achieve what you want to happen without them doing that--or change your initial idea for the plot. Even if you start with a plan in mind, you will probably have to tweak it at some point. This is normal. You’re just adapting to your story. Sometimes, a story will get away on you--it’ll write itself in a direction you weren’t expecting or past the point where you’d initially figured it would end (hello, Treachery)--but, at least in my experience, if it’s the characters driving the story that way, and you let them, it can actually turn out to be a better story than what you’d initially planned. (Again: Treachery. The unplanned part ie second half is much better than the planned part.) It’s just a matter of keeping them reasonably in character so that things don’t get too out of hand.

I only think about plot holes once I notice them. Honestly, I’ve gotten good at patching. If something doesn’t occur to me, I can’t prevent writing it in. It’s not so much plot hole prevention for me as adaptation of the story to make it more acceptable once I realize it’s there.

Sometimes, when I’m editing a chapter or rereading something to remind myself of the story thus far/what’s happened, I’ll see something that doesn’t work that I’d missed before. (Random note on the ‘remembering what’s happened’ bit: if you plan a long fic taking place over multiple days, do yourself a favour and make a timeline for yourself in your scrap file. So much easier. That’ll allow you to make accurate references like “last week” and “three days ago”. I did this with Shattered and regretted nothing.) Once I notice a plot hole, I consider the damage. Have I posted something where it’s already stated? If I haven’t, repairing it typically isn’t that hard, though of course it depends on what it is--you just need to give it some justification, shaky or otherwise, or do a bit of rewriting to patch it up. Once it’s firmly written in and you don’t notice it until chapters later, your best bet is writing in justification for it later. In some cases, this involves you turning your plot hole into a plot point. It may be a small plot point or it might be a significant one that will actually shift your intended story a little bit. I did this a lot with my earlier Doctor Who crossovers. I got quite good at retroactive patching there, and my plot hole turned into foreshadowing, although in all fairness all of those involved time travel to one degree or another so that made things a bit easier; I didn’t have to stick to the rules of the actual universe.

So here’s a plot hole of mine that’s recent that you might have noticed if you’ve read Down the Rabbit Hole: the note on Toby’s bed. Why...why are they communicating that way? Why go to the trouble of sending a note to him that way? Why not just phone or text or email? I missed that initially. And now I see it. And now I have justification (that hasn’t yet appeared in-fic) for not communicating by normal 21-century means. Depending on how things go, it might be hinting at something bigger, or it might just be a small one-off thing.

Now, in case you’re interested in my disaster of a ‘planning paragraph’, this was how Masks began--and please bear in mind I’d seen ten episodes, subbed, at this point and wasn’t entirely sure on what stuff was called:

Blademaster. Fights with knives. Unless it’s someone fromAdrien’s fencing class; the transformation could make that thing deadly sharp.That’s better, actually. Go with that. Marinette actually beats Adrien to thetransformation because she was skulking around waiting for him to come outafter class/lesson/club/whatever it is is over (to just ‘happen to be there’and try to ask him to catch a movie or something in casual conversation) andheard the commotion, while he got caught up in the fleeing people beforemanaging to sidestep and transform. Ladybug hasn’t managed to get the swordaway from Blademaster in the meantime and nearly gets the cord of her luckycharm thing cut for her trouble. Chat Noir shows up and pretty much fences withhis quarterstaff thing until Blademaster starts to cheat, at which point hevaults over him and tags him from behind, hoping the distraction is enough forLadybug to free herself from whatever she ended up in. Evil moth guy isdemanding the gems, so Blademaster starts trying to take a slice out of ChatNoir, who evades rather than parries, trying to draw Blademaster awayfrom…something…and Ladybug takes over when he’s backed into a corner and needsto turn to scale the wall. She yells at him to get the something away if he’sfigured out what Blademaster is after—she hasn’t, yet; just that the blade isprobably what the akuma is in—and Adrien, being there for the transformation,knows exactly what happened and can oblige. But he isn’t long out the door whenhe hears Ladybug scream; Blademaster had either grabbed another blade orsomehow acquired something sharp—I’ve never fenced; I’m not entirely sure howsharp those things are—and while avoiding one blow, she jolted off the courseof the other and got her earlobe sliced off/the gem ripped out. Blademaster hasa gem—moth guy is rejoicing and demanding he now get the other one—andMarinette, with one hand clamped to her ear, has to get out of there despitethe pain because as much as she needs to get Tikki (?) back, she doesn’t wantto risk her identity and—more importantly—she’s not sure how much longer shecan remain upright. She hits the change room or office or something, aiming fora first aid kit or at least a wad of toilet paper, and Chat Noir is shocked theLadybug is gone. He manages to defeat Blademaster and retrieve her gem, but itis inactive, and while he manages to catch the dark butterfly in a fencingmask, he doesn’t have the means to banish its evil OR to erase the ill that hashappened here; that’s Ladybug’s turf. But how is he supposed to return hergem—return her—when he doesn’t knowwho she is, and his own transformation is wearing off? (Marinette will bepulling a new hairstyle or modelling a hat or just plain skipping school—ifthere IS school; what day was fencing class again?—and getting Alya to coverfor her with her parents on the pretence that she’s trying to work up thecourage to do something with Adrien, perhaps, and she really doesn’t want tohave that conversation with her mom,when in reality she’s just trying to find Tikki. Not sure what happened withTikki, exactly. Needs to regain energy, which Plagg (?) would know and informChat Noir accordingly, but with them trying to keep secrets from each other….)

and that will give way to notes like this:

Tikki, PlaggMiracle Stones/MiraculousHawkmoth

Ladybug – lucky charm at end, always ends up with somethingshe doesn’t know what to do with at first and then figures it out; yo-yocompact; BOTH EARRINGS for the miracle stones…but maybe ripping one out woulddeactivate the other. She is the ONLY ONE who can cleanse the akumas. Chat Noir – (allergic to feathers), ancient destruction/cataclysm; batonYeah, if that ring comes off, the Kwami is forced out and the detransformationis right awayPlagg is SUCH a glutton, he’ll even chase after stuff he thinks is food

----

Okay. Adrien picks up Tikki and Miracle Stone, so Marinettefinds nothing and tries to track down Chat Noir, but Tikki, once recovered, canjust tell Adrien who Marinette is. Problem solved. That’s not fun. Unless Tikkidecides to respect Marinette’s wishes?

Or maybe they each find one earring, and Tikki isn’t wellbecause they’re divided?

Adrien and Marinette can both find nothing—Marinette because she hasn’t achance to look, Adrien because he doesn’t know TO look—but unless Tikki’strapped there, she gotta be able to get out.

Wait, Adrien’s chivalrous. He’ll respect Ladybug’s wishes.Even if he hates it

----

If Plagg can’t see, when they transform, Adrien won’t beable to see, either.

“What do you mean, I can’t transform?”“If we transform, this thing would get sucked in, too, and you won’t be able to do anything.” [lines from the Rogercop episode]

Statue set on green stone (granite?) with the top edgejutting out about chin height for Adrien

-------------------------Nope, gonna have to go back and change Blademaster’s restoration to Phillipebecause that DOES seem to be after Ladybug’s restoration. [turns out I was right the first time with this, but I’d checked with someone else and they’d thought no one changed back until after the Miraculous Ladybug bit, so I’d changed my initial plans here, and a few months later we got an episode that confirmed that, no, the magic link just needs to be broken, things don’t need to be fixed yet.]

#ladylynse #asks #my writing #writing advice #kinda #the don't delete your scrapped ideas is writing advice #my writing advice #for what it's worth #Anonymous

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aion-rsa · 3 years ago

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Lucifer Season 5 Episode 13 Review: A Little Harmless Stalking

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This Lucifer review contains spoilers.

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 13

“That’s what you get for bringing a beanbag to a demon fight.”

Love is in the air, and as long as the principals don’t overthink things too much, everything should work out that way God intends it. We just don’t know who’ll be taking over should Lucifer’s father make good on his intent to retire. Since a peaceful transfer of power doesn’t appear imminent, “A Little Harmless Stalking” takes the opportunity to deliver some of the series’ most poignant and heartfelt moments, and Lucifer appears on track to continue breaking new ground in its quest to dig deeper into the human psyche.

First things first. Talk about burying the lede. “I’ve just decided. I’m going to be God.” As delicious as it is to consider a replacement for The Man Above, after the last episode, it’s not surprising that we’d reach this situation and the brotherly battle that is almost certain to occur. And boy, talk about a redemptive arc should Lucifer actually get to take over for his father. It’s a plot thread rife with narrative possibilities, and “A Little Harmless Stalking” puts Amenadiel smack in the middle as he conducts a little unexpected market research with a rabbi, an imam, and a priest.

When you think about it, however, Amenadiel’s desire to seek advice regarding arguably the most important job in the universe is just so Lucifer. Dan probably doesn’t understand all of the familial subtext that goes into Amenadiel’s admission that “I think I’m going to become God,” but his casual reaction plays nicely against the angel’s angst regarding the situation. Nonetheless, it’s his conversation with Ella that should shape his decision. She bares her soul in an emotionally charged admission that catches Amenadiel by surprise, though he recovers nicely and tells her that her low self-worth regarding her relationship with God is completely unfounded. If this were the job interview, he’d be immediately handed the keys to the kingdom.

Nevertheless, Lucifer is, at its core, a crime drama, and the murder of a man in the middle of a stolen art scam provides the perfect opportunity to reintroduce Linda’s biological daughter into the story while playing wonderfully to the established “act rather than think” theme. Not for a second do we think Linda killed a man, but the crazy driving scene that opens the episode does give us pause. Ella filling in Chloe and Lucifer at a crime scene never gets old, and Dan’s “you’re not going to believe this” announcement sets up Lucifer to use his mojo on the suspect. Linda admits she wants to “protect my child,” and of course we assume she means baby Charlie who’s come under any of a number of attacks since he’s been born. The mini misdirect leads us into the heart of the story as the next suspect, Linda’s biological daughter Adriana (Alexandra Grossi), turns herself in, and the investigation gathers steam.

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 12 Review – Daniel Espinoza: Naked and Afraid

By Dave Vitagliano

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 11 Review: Resting Devil Face

By Dave Vitagliano

Given the nature of the episode’s theme, we hope it’s only a matter of time until Linda and Adriana come face to face, and the truth about their relationship moves into the open. First, however, Linda’s daughter must be cleared of the problematic admission that she killed Mr. Sterling even though, like her mother, it’s fairly clear that she didn’t. Lucifer and Chloe are at their best when they wheedle the truth out of suspects, but here, the truth, at first, complicates our desire to see mother and daughter reunited. It’s a nice touch and gives some background other than her real estate acumen.

Now that Lucifer and Chloe have committed to being together, their public displays of affections might ordinarily be seen as gag inducing, but within the context of the story, it allows the writers to take a left turn and have Lucifer and Linda pose as a couple during a sting operation at the art gallery. Lucifer buys an expensive painting which he then gifts to the detective, and the details of the scam come into focus. Yes, Adriana has been part of the operation but only to secure funds for her seriously ill adoptive mother’s medical treatments. Once the detectives sort out the truth of the murder, mother and daughter get that moment we’ve waited for since she shows up in “Detective Amenadiel.” The writers pounce on the golden opportunity for Adriana to meet and hold her baby brother, and we’re now left to wonder whether this relationship will gain traction.

So while Linda’s been busy stalking her daughter, Eve returns to the story, and makes makes quite the entrance following Maze during the Sterling murder investigation. We get a couple of tightly orchestrated fight scenes, but the best involves the unexpected return of ninja Eve (Inbar Lavi) who nearly takes down the demon Mazikeen. She’s been on a journey of self-discovery, and it’s the realization that she’s in love with Maze that prompts her return. It’s sweet that she’s learned the bounty hunting trade to facilitate her bond with Maze, but we know this relationship is fraught with potholes even after the two women acknowledge their feelings for each other. Again, don’t over think; just lay your cards on the table.

Whereas Linda and her daughter get the happy ending we desire, the second action sequence ultimately leads to disappointment. Eve and Maze end up at a warehouse, and things go south in a hurry but not before the two women take down the man they think is the killer. Eve has learned her craft and drops into the fight to help Maze, but somewhat predictably gets shot in the process allowing Maze to carry her to safety. While Eve survives the bullet, her rejection of Maze’s offer of immortality causes a rift that seems to come out of nowhere. We understand Eve’s admission that she doesn’t “want to live forever. Mortality is a gift,” but this honest approach to live with the fear that comes with everyday life pushes Mazikeen too far. Is this it for these two, or will Maze reconsider? Hopefully, it’s the latter because not only are these two perfect for each other, but their personalities are just so different that it’s delightful each time they’re together.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“A Little Harmless Stalking” cleverly addresses the anxiety so many relationships ultimately encounter, and with the homecoming of two engaging characters, Lucifer sets the stage for even more mayhem as Lucifer sets his sights on his father’s job. Though God’s been off doing other things the past two episodes, the actions of His sons may now force his hand. I sense some tough love on the horizon.

Lucifer season 5 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Lucifer Season 5 Episode 13 Review: A Little Harmless Stalking appeared first on Den of Geek.

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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago

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50 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes for Happiness and Success

Looking for inspirational mental health quotes?

Mental health refers to the state of our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It impacts the way we feel, think and act, making it important in all areas of our lives.

Mental health plays an important role in the way we deal with stress, how we relate to others, and the decisions we make in our daily lives. Without positive mental health, it will be almost impossible to realize your full potential, work productively, make a meaningful contribution to your community, or handle the stress that comes with life.

So what can you do to ensure you have a healthy mental state? Well, there are various ways to maintain positive mental health and live a more fulfilling and enjoyable life.

Besides seeking professional help if you need it, you should make time to connect with others, think positively about yourself and get physically active. Also, make sure you get enough rest, you’re mindful of your present moment, and be helpful to others.

A healthy mental state will help you leverage your Everyday Power to achieve the success you seek and live a purposeful life. Here are some inspirational quotes to remind you of that.

Inspirational mental health quotes for happiness and success

1.) “Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” – Adam Ant

2.) “It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”― Steve Maraboli

3.) “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore

4.) “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.” – Joubert Botha

5.) “This feeling will pass. The fear is real but the danger is not.”― Cammie McGovern

6.) “Everybody knows there is no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective. There’s only a messy, inconsistent, silly, hopeful version of how we feel most at home in our lives.” ― Tori Spelling

7.) “What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.” – Glenn Close

8.) “It’s not just people who can’t find a job, or can’t fit in in society that struggle with depression sometimes.” — Jared Padalecki

9.) “It doesn’t have to take over your life, it doesn’t have to define you as a person, it’s just important that you ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness.” — Demi Lovato

10.) “What does your anxiety do? It does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but it empties today of its strength. It does not make you escape the evil; it makes you unfit to cope with it if it comes.” ― Raymond L. Cramer

Inspirational mental health quotes to help you on your journey

11.) “There isn’t anybody out there who doesn’t have a mental health issue, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or how to cope with relationships. Having OCD is not an embarrassment anymore – for me. Just know that there is help and your life could be better if you go out and seek the help.” – Howie Mandel

12.) “I’ve run my whole life – for more than exercise, for mental health.” – Wendelin Van Draanen

13.) “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”— Charles Bukowski

14.) “It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.”― Aisha Mirza

15.) “The only journey is the journey within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

16.) “You have to quit confusing a madness with a mission.” ― Flannery O’Connor

17.) “Hope is a powerful thing. Some say it’s a different breed of magic altogether.” – Stephanie Garber

18.) “And every person can benefit from talking to somebody. I’m the most anti-medication person, but some people need medicine, and there was a time where I needed some too.” — Miley Cyrus

19.) “My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.” – Emery Lord

20.) “The acknowledgment of having suffered evil is the greatest step forward in mental health.” ― Stefan Molyneux

Insightful and inspirational mental health quotes

21.) “Self-esteem is as important to our well-being as legs are to a table. It is essential for physical and mental health and for happiness.” – Louise Hart

22.) “Your illness is not your identity. Your chemistry is not your character.” — Pastor Rick Warren

23.) “To think too much is a disease.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

24.) “If we start being honest about our pain, our anger, and our shortcomings instead of pretending they don’t exist, then maybe we’ll leave the world a better place than we found it.” – Russell Wilson

25.) “Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t so.” –Lemony Snicket

26.) “One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” –Linda Poindexter

27.) “Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” – Noam Shpancer

28.) “I didn’t talk to anyone about [postpartum depression]. I was very reluctant.. Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it.” — Adele

29.) “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” – Abraham Lincoln

30.) “It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn’t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love – writing songs and making music.” – Mariah Carey

Mental health quotes to remind you to take care of your mind

31.) “Mental health is often missing from public health debates even though it’s critical to wellbeing.” – Diane Abbott

32.) “Unfortunately, we force people to break the law in order to get any kind of mental health treatment.” – Pete Earley

33.) “PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.” ― Susan Pease Banitt

34.) “Don’t let your struggle become your identity.” – Unknown

35.) “Self-esteem is not a luxury; it is a profound spiritual need.”― Nathaniel Branden

36.) “..balancing time you spend with or without people is crucial for mental health.” ― Amy E. Spiegel

37.) “Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.” – Carl Jung

38.) “I’m actually taking medication that seems to be pretty good. It’s not making me feel too tired or sluggish or anything like that. Finding the proper balance is what is most important,” – Mariah Carey

39.) “I’m struggling just to get through the days. I think a lot of people are.” — Justin Bieber

40.) “About a third of my cases are suffering from no clinically definable neurosis, but from the senselessness and emptiness of their lives. This can be defined as the general neurosis of our times.” – C.G. Jung

Other inspirational mental health quotes

41.) “A child’s mental health is just as important as their physical health and deserves the same quality of support.” – Kate Middleton

42.) “The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.”― Juliette Lewis

43.) “I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.” — Amy March

44.) “There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.”― John Green

45.) “Your illness does not define you. Your strength and courage does.” –Unknown

46.) “I keep moving ahead, as always, knowing deep down inside that I am a good person and that I am worthy of a good life.” ― Jonathan Harnisch

47.) “Hope, hope, hope. It has to be there. Rob the person of hope, and there won’t be any recovery.” – Dan Fisher

48.) “There’s not shame in dealing with these things. There’s no shame in having to fight everyday.” — Jared Padalecki

49.) “If you are physically sick, you can elicit the interest of a battery of physicians; but if you are mentally sick, you are lucky if the janitor comes around.” – Martin H. Fischer

50.) “I let it get to me that day. I wasn’t in a good place. And unfortunately I was going through a rough time and I let it get to me a little bit too much. That was it,”- Liam Payne

How did you find these mental health quotes?

Mental health is vital in all stages of life. For you to realize your full potential, achieve success and live a more fulfilling life, you need to have a healthy mental state.

While taking care of your mental health might mean getting professional support, you should also consider making the right changes for you. Hopefully, these quotes have inspired you to always maintain positive mental health for success and happiness.

Did you enjoy these mental health quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? We would love to hear all about it in the comment section below.

The post 50 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes for Happiness and Success appeared first on Everyday Power Blog.

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soundvent-blog · 7 years ago

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How To Survive Your Band Mates On Tour

Tour is tough. Band mates are tougher. How will you survive?

The ultimate relationship challenge.

Get in a cramped van with your significant other (dude or chick) and hang out with them literally 24 hours a day 7 days a week for 3 months straight. No breaks. No personal time. Nada. Imagine never knowing where you are going to sleep on any given night, or when you'll get your next shower, or what you are going to eat and better yet if you'll even have enough money to eat. Imagine the age-old argument over directions... on a daily basis. Think your relationship would last? Well, now think about that but only multiply it by 4 or 5...dudes. 4 or 5 dudes that are a lot less pretty then your lady sitting next to you and getting on your nerves. How do you survive?

A few tips from the wise.

It is best to hold a meeting before hand. Video tape it and/or write it down, and everybody agree on rules and boundaries that are set. Sign it, shake on it, or do whatever you want to do to make it official. Make some serious and real consequences for those that do not follow the rules. Personal boundaries are very important, and should be respected always - even in the midst of a fart contest. A hard line is a hard line, and if your band is serious about staying together and reaching success then this should be respected.

Stay clean.

Set clear rules on cleanliness. Have different jobs and share responsibilities on a rotation. Make it fair. Keeping the van clean will help keep people clean. Respect people's opinions and work as a team. I've seen band mates want to kill one another over something as simple as directions. Involve every one in the process of deciding on the best routes to get to the next town. That way every body is in agreement.

Food is a tough one too.

Different people have different tastes. Be diplomatic, and voting should always be done for major decisions and deciding on food. Make sure everybody gets a chance to stop at a grocery store to stock up on snacks. It's smart that everyone has his or her own small personal tote that is kept in the trailer and has food stocked in it. That way nobody can be a baby about food options and it avoids people getting hangry. If there is a vote and everybody decides that they want a different type of food then you, then ultimately it falls on you as your fault if you don't have a back-up. Take advantage of that plastic tote. If you don't want the same food everybody else does and you are not prepared with something you can dig into - that's your bad. I have seen so many fights break out just over food. Tensions begin to run so extremely high that the littlest thing can make somebody explode.

Seriously… stay as clean as possible.

At every opportunity you should be washing up. Showers will be few and far between. Clean up in a sink at a rest stop. Have mouth wash and use it. Wear deodorant and cologne. Smelling someone else's body odor is disgusting. It will happen on tour, but do whatever you can to make sure you take advantage of all opportunities to be clean. Have a small plastic trashcan in the van at all times and line it with a plastic bag. Dump the trash out at every stop. This will avoid someone sitting on a week old piece of pizza and getting upset about it.

Start the tour with driving shifts.

During the day 2 hour shifts seem to work out well. 2-hour shifts can work at nighttime too, but can get a little sketchy. Safety first. You may want to decide that 1-hour shifts are allowed only during night drives. The rule is you can never complain about your driving shift, and you can only get out of it if you are legitimately ill. There should always be a co-pilot, no questions about it. The co-pilot sits up front with the driver and helps with anything he needs, and should be his main source of proper directions even if you're using navigation. Pick straws or do rock-paper-scissors to see which member starts the tour, and keep the rotation going from there. The driver and co-pilot get to choose the music. The driver gets the final say.

I have seen so many bands breakup after tours.

Some of them were really good bands, so it was really unfortunate. Tour should be fun, but if you're serious about your band then you must respect one another - even if you don't like each other. I've seen people get harassed, picked on, singled out, pranked - even someone got peed on in their sleep. When you're spending that much time with somebody else it’s only natural to start to get on one another's nerves. Just keep in mind that you probably aren't perfect and you're most likely getting on their nerves just as much. If an argument breaks out it is important to have a "safe word". Yes... a safe word. This is a word that is used to protect the health of the band. Meaning if an argument breaks out and it's going south fast, use the safe word to take a break. When the safe word is used the conversation is absolutely 100% over. No questions. And everybody in the band needs to back it up. It prevents people from saying things they might regret later or hearing things that can build resentment and anger towards another. Sometimes you just need a minute. But just because the rule is set and the conversation ends that doesn't mean it's not resolved. It can't be used to end a conversation to avoid it all together - that's a cop out. It must be agreed that the conversation/disagreement will be resolved at a later time that is to be set. Resolving issues is super important. This will eliminate a lot of passive aggressive behavior and will hopefully prevent the build up of resentment to a point of explosion.

Just remember, the success of your band should always come first.

Fair is fair, and if everything is done in a democratic way then nobody should be crying about it. Being on tour is the ultimate test to really learn about your band mates and get to know who they really are. Personal accountability and maturity is a must. It is possible to do crazy stuff and have a blast and create a lifetime full of memories without hurting people's feelings and wanting to kill one another. Tour is tough. Surviving it in one piece is tougher. Just remember why you're doing it and never forget the famous question, "Can't we all just get along?". Click to Post

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phatjosh180 · 7 years ago

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Running BIG for Robert

This past week has been a tough one for me. I didn’t get in nearly enough miles, mainly because of illness among a few other things. But, I knew no matter how I felt I was going to do some miles on Saturday in honor of my friend Robert Merriman who’s battling brain cancer.

It’s been an emotional couple of weeks for the running community here in Utah that know and love Robert. He’s such a staple here on the road or trail. He’s a friend to all.

I met Robert first back in 2012 while running the Farmington Days Half Marathon. Our conversation was brief, but I remember him introducing himself and mentioned that he read my blog. We saw each other at a number of other races over the rest of the year and eventually connected over Facebook.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Aug 5, 2017 at 8:34am PDT

You could say that after that — the rest was history. Over the next couple of years we were a part of a very close-knit group of runners. We all ran together, no matter the pace. Many times Robert would run ahead to take pictures of the group — or at times — if he wasn’t able to run with us, he’d still show up at some point of the run to take pictures of us.

I’ve grown to really respect Robert and look up to him in many aspect. His kindness toward others is second to none. He is one of the biggest reasons why I am training for my first 100 miler next February. Seeing Robert train and work toward gave me the hope and desire to try it too.

So when he was diagnosed with the cancer it was devastating — not just to me, but to our little group and the running community by and large. It’s been amazing seeing the community rally around him and support him and his family. Something we know he would do for any of us.

The weekend of his diagnosis and surgery it was awesome seeing so many runners wearing grey with red Canadian maple leafs at the Handcart Days and Deseret News Half Marathons. It continued with the Timp Half and the many other races that weekend as well. There were so many maple leafs worn during the Timp Half that many runners were asking why there were so many Canadians at the race.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Aug 5, 2017 at 8:37am PDT

That should tell you how much this community really rallied around Robert.

So, this weekend’s group run brought out the grey and maple leafs once again as we flooded Big Cottonwood. There was another group running the canyon as well, so there was a lot of crossover, but lots of grey either way. It was pretty cool.

I wanted to run anywhere between 15-20 miles, but with my health still questionable — I deciding between more like 10-15 miles. I am not where I want to be with my fitness right now, but I’m getting there. Especially with my ankle doing much, much better. I am at the point right now I need to start looking at alternatives to a couple of my marathons if I feel like I can’t do them.

But, that’s a post for another day.

Anyways, I decided 10 miles was a good run for me — which I decided basically right as the car passed 10.0 on the pedometer. So, I hopped out of the car that was taking everyone else up further in the canyon and made my descent.

A post shared by (phat) josh (@fight4phat) on Aug 5, 2017 at 9:37pm PDT

When I run, I usually don’t go for pace — I go by feel. I’m very much a zen runner. Honestly, it’s been the only way I’ve been able to get through my injury and slowing pace. If I am going to run, I’m going for a fun time. If I am too worried about my pace — I tend to not have fun and feel like crap post run.

So, I just focus on feel. I focus on pushing myself just beyond comfort. And, as long I focus on that I’ll get faster and where I want to be. Does this mean I’ll never focus on pace again? No. It’s just my goals right now don’t need it and mentally it screws with me. I’ll get there again. But, for now — it’s all about effort.

Anyways, the run went well. I kept my effort just beyond that comfort. I focused on my form, especially on my right foot. My new shoes really help keep my over pronation honest, but I still need to mentally focus on it so I don’t lazily undo it.

My ankle was a little sore by mile 7-8, but nothing like it has in the past. Most of the soreness was actually from lateral movement down the canyon, which I expected. And, compared to my last run down Big Cottonwood I felt much better. Thank goodness.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Aug 5, 2017 at 8:45am PDT

The run was gorgeous and I just focused on what I needed to while jamming out to my music. It was perfect. There were so many runners in the canyon that it really felt like a race. It was neat. There were at least three fairly large groups there. And, apparently some runners got stopped by others asking if there was a race.

It was the perfect morning for a run.

The last mile or so of my run I was able to run with my friend Lizz, who started three miles up the canyon and then walked down and then back up and down a couple times before running into me again. She did over 7-8 miles on a not very easy course. But, we haven’t had an opportunity to run much together so it I was happy to finish my run with her.

After being joined by Ruthie for the last bit of the run we all finished back at the Park n’ Ride and after a few pictures we left and parted for the rest of the day. As I mentioned above, it was the perfect morning for a run. And, a perfect day to run and honor our friend Robert.

The good news of this all is that he was sent home and is recovering really well. He should be a few weeks from being able to drive and do some light running (non-runners like to call it jogging). The fact that he’s been in amazing health has helped him a lot. And, I couldn’t be any happier for him and his family … he’s a fighter.

A post shared by (phat) josh (@fight4phat) on Aug 5, 2017 at 9:41pm PDT

Next week on August 17th — Robert’s Birthday — Costa Vida is holding a benefit night for Robert. As of right now, the Draper, American Fork and Payson stores will donate 20% of each order from 5pm to close to Robert’s family. There’s been a big interest from runners in other parts of Utah that they’re working on getting other stores involved in the benefit night.

But, if you would like to help Robert and his family while also enjoying an awesome meal from Costa Vida you can get more details about the night here. As I mentioned more stores will hopefully be added soon — and those will be posted there.

Anyways, we love you Robert! We’re praying for you! We’re running for you!

July 2017 Miles

Running Miles — 38.6 miles Race Miles — 39.3 miles Walking Miles — 116.38 miles TOTAL MILES — 194.28 miles Races in July — (3) The Hobbler Half, Handcart Days & DesNews Half.

August 2017 Miles

Running Miles — 13.5 miles Race Miles — 0.0 miles Walking Miles — 15.66 miles TOTAL MILES — 29.16 miles Races in August — (3) Elephant Rock Trail Half, Run Elevated Half and Nebo Half

2017 Miles

Running Miles — 324.55 miles Race Miles — 282.42 miles Walking Miles — 795.81 miles TOTAL MILES — 1402.78 miles Races done in 2017 — (19) New Year’s Half Marathon, Sweethearts 5K, Jackpot Running Festival, SL Tri Club Indoor Half, March Madness Half, Lucky 13 Half Marathon, Emigration Canyon Half Marathon, Riverton Half, Saltair Half, Provo City Half Marathon, Jordan River Half Marathon, Drop13 Half Marathon, Bear Lake Trifecta — Idaho, Wyoming & Utah, AF Canyon Race Against Cancer, The Hobbler Half, Handcart Days Half and DesNews Half.

It was great seeing Robert Merriman tonight and sending the love of the Run4fun, Addict II Athlete, Run Your Race Pacers, Runtastic Events and the running families on both road & trail. This is a special man, a true warrior and an even greater friend. Keep fighting my friend! We love you! #FightLikeRobert

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Jul 31, 2017 at 7:37pm PDT

I kinda want to know what constitutes EXCESSIVE speed?

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Jul 28, 2017 at 11:47pm PDT

Shopping for the morning after the apocalypse.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Aug 4, 2017 at 9:02pm PDT

He looks as beautiful as Stevie Wonder plays, and plays as well as Stevie Wonder sees.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Aug 5, 2017 at 3:06pm PDT

If anyone wants to see Old Faithful, but doesn’t want to make the trip to Yellowstone, stop by our house between 6:30-7:30 every morning for a great show! Your kids won’t even know the difference.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Jul 26, 2017 at 6:27am PDT

I must be in Utah County.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Jul 29, 2017 at 8:15pm PDT

A post shared by The Runcast (@theruncast) on Jul 28, 2016 at 6:39am PDT

Running BIG for Robert was originally published on PhatJosh | My Life Running.

#fightlikerobert #benefit night #big cottonwood #big cottonwood canyon #costa vida #Robert Merriman #run utah #Run4Fun #running #salt lake city #Training Run #utah #utah running

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