#if i have an idea for a person or a shitpost then i can drag up a reference pic or tutorial and make something decent enough for me

[the-beard-of-edward-teach]

i want to paint so badly but idk what i'd paint

[nerves-nebula]

i know i’m not the first person to say this, but like i kind of really wish more people talked abt csa and incest as casually as u do. idk i just think maybe id be a little more normal if it wasn’t such an un-talk-about-able thing, like maybe id be a little less messed up in the head about it. instead im just stuck thinking and stressing about that shit and wondering if i’m suppressing memories and just rotating it in my mind (derogatory) until i’m so fucking numb to it that i can either ignore it or bring myself to make fucked up art abt it, u know?

sorry for the deranged 5am ramblings, i rlly like ur blog and its been a big comfort for me lately <3

ahh well. yknow. maybe one day you can also achieve my level of "I'm sad but it's funny and not a big deal" using my THREE STEP PLAN

step one: give up the idea that people will come rescue and or help you cuz boy it is NOT happening you have to drag yourself out of this pit and if the only way you can motivate yourself is hatred and the idea of being a half dead corpse sent to haunt people then by GOD that's what you'll do

step two: girl you have GOT to become MORE MEAN. let your hatred show but JUST a little bit ok dont go overboard you dont wanna hurt people

step three: (Things Occur)

step four: latch onto an abused character and tentatively start posting online about them being abused

step five: begin to start talking about the more serious shit but in the same shitposter kinda vibe where you're like "damn that's fucked up. anyway."

step 6: PROFIT

[polinated]

ok so i need to get stuff out of my chest regarding part 2. tldr; it's a frustrated but optimistic rant lol. hid it below in case you don't wanna read it, which is totally fine!

i know part 2 has left many people (including myself) a bit jaded, and understandably so! lol if you've been following me for the past few months you know how much i've been chronically obssessing over polin on here. they were the matter that made up my brain lol. were there stuff i didn't like and wish they'd done differently? a few things, yes, and the feeling fucking sucked. like, for one, if it were up to me i would drag out more the resolution part between colin and pen. give us a bit more to balance the angst and make that happy ending feel a bit more earned. because i felt empty after watching that. i thought, hmm, this isn't working for me.

but the thing is, if i really tried i can justify some of these choices textually, and honestly it's helped me understand some things better in retrospect, like when colin was so incessant about pen dropping LW, which bothered me at first. why tf would he circle back to not forgiving her when he already kinda did before the wedding? then i realized, because he still had issues with the idea of LW herself, and not penelope, and it's making it difficult for him to reconcile those two parts of her. also that entrapping statement he said to pen. that was fucking harsh, but i've come to think that angry people say stuff they don't mean just to hurt the person that has first hurt them. i just wished he said sorry for that statement at some point.

anyways, this isn't to say i'm kissing the show's boot or giving it a pass or whatever. i'm ready to say that the writing is not very good in parts. but i'm just seeing the story for what it is and making my way from there. i think certain expectations i've been subconsciously nursing also had something to do with it. i tried my best to limit speculations, but alas, i could not help it lmao. i just wanted the best for polin.

but yeah, i still wanna have fun about part 2. will still make gifs, shitposts, and the occasional meta if i feel like it. but also i won't hesitate to say negative stuff about it if it's begging to be said, and that's okay!

[canaidliafail]

untitled

streamer ellie Williams x dancer reader 🌿

Id call this an excessively long shitpost. It is in the same timeline with staygrounded but I wrote it down for self indulgent reasons such as -to no ones surprise- venting. It ain’t good btw but its getting better I think.

CW: first of all, reader is a dancer/ dance teacher || short mention of self harm || MDI: there are sexual themes if I remember correctly || Ellie being very gay

If you by any chance do enjoy this concept I don’t mind writing a part 2 tho. Requests are open ✨

“you blame it on the drugs I dont give a fuck cause the damage is done,

and you talk about suicide, its the way you manipulate”

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47 ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

gossip, rumors, spreading a false narrative and falling in love with being a victim of life and most importantly a victim of you.

So many things that could have been said about her. So many and yet all sat stale at the tip of your tongue. You wanted to rip her to shreds, put a curse on her and considered spending life in prison for premeditated murder. Then you cried and just prayed she would leave you alone and that she would find happiness and that you would never hear anything about it. You scratched your arms, the stitches holding your flesh together getting irritably itchier day by day. flesh that you so willingly sliced a week ago and regretted right after.

It was fucking embarrassing to fall to such depths of despair and misery cause of love. In life we allow things to happen to us. Saying that was comfort of some sorts. It gave you control over a situation that you were dragged around like a puppet.

Could truly another person's venom poison you this irreversibly?

And while you did crave love and attention you refused to humiliate yourself by asking for it,let alone admit to it.

“she didn’t love you, she loved the idea of being with you. You have to realize it baby, You are a known figure now…People will do that to you. This is a whole new world you just entered”

You shook your head and dully stared at the screen playing lo-fi on loop

“New world ? Feels like I'm back in high school”

You sat on the other end of the couch numb and mute. It had been a week since you spoke to your roommate and two since you last saw your whole friend group. You warned them

“I can’t talk but I really need you”

and they came and would chime in to whatever little but you were willing to share that night.

You all woke up around the same time the next day, exam season not really willing to cooperate with your mental breakdown and started getting ready. You had already failed 2 subjects. shit was not going your way so on the fourth day you just gave up and decided to go with the flow

“how bad can it get”

bit of advice fellas, never fucking say that cause it CAN get worse.

While initially you were well prepared for exams, You mixed up the days when you were supposed to submit assignments and the days when you were taking a written exam.

2 failed subjects, 4 more to go.

4 failed subjects… 2 more to go

Hot girl summer just doesn’t feel the same once you hit your 20s it seems.

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

You were aimlessly watching one story after the other,barely there and hardly caring what exactly you were looking at. Abby had just posted one cryptic photo with a girl you saw around in the community and smiled. You could tell something was going on with her and that other streamer girl and you smiled. You thought they were a good match and quite frankly you were just glad to see that some people were doing better in their love life than you ever could. It gave you hope that things like that still existed even if you weren't meant to experience them. Ellie had also just posted and you took a minute longer to appreciate her slender form dressed in tights and a top while horse riding. She was hot and she knew it and you liked that attitude of hers. You checked the next story which was a black screen with a text

*I fell off my horse two minutes after taking that pic*

And chuckled. Your eyes drifted off to the green square mark and cocked a brow

Oh?

So you were in her close friends ?

You sat up

“Wait since when has she-” You asked yourself out loud and noticed that indeed she was following you. In the midst of working on new content and getting out of your depressive slump you started checking your social less and less too busy with dance practice and trying to enjoy life and it seemed like in the middle of your subtle break things…. Happened

Maybe a few months ago when you were down bad for her this would’ve affected you but now you just shrugged and closed your phone. You need to get back to practicing a new dance combo for a video and you couldn’t be bothered. Your ex had scared you off from dating public figures for good. Dating was a strong word…You hardly wanted even a fling at this point.

You got dressed up and put on a wig, fixing your makeup in place and making a movement test before you went to the studio to record the new choreo so that you could only worry about the variation and not have any unnecessary technical issues. The studio was a few minutes away from your place by bus and you put on the songs you planned on rehearsing to get in the mood on your way there humming softly and tuning out any other thought polluting your mind.

There's was a text notification from the user

Elliefuckingwilliams

Which you forced yourself to ignore refusing to entertain whatever she could have texted you. If this was a month ago maybe you would have but now you didnt want to.

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

Ignoring her was your plan until you posted the new video of your dance which admittedly you did look good and may have been one of your best videos up to date. Ellie Was the third like on that post and she had shamelessly double texted you. You chewed on your lip nervous and uncertain

“She texted me again”

Ophelia, your roommate, peeked her head from her iPad and looked at you curious

“Who?”

“Ellie”

“ELLIE?! WAIT THE ELLIE?!” She jumped up and for a moment you for sure she came for your throat but instead clutched the blankets on your couch

“And what do you mean again ?! When did all of this happen ?”

“Relax it all started today and you know I wanted to tell you once we had time to properly hang out” You said fighting back a smile knowing that this was a victory. Ophelia had suffered you for months crying over your ex, then thirsting over Ellie and then back to square one. You owed her an update on your emotional affairs which you swore that they would stay stagnant.

“So what did she say ?”

You opened the Direct messages

Elliefuckingwilliams: Hey I have a question

Elliefuckingwilliams: Is your studio in Seattle ?

Elliefuckingwilliams: I have a project and am looking for a dance instructor. Let me know if you would be interested in a collab

“Ah. Just work stuff it seems”

“EXCUSES SHE JUST WANTS TO EAT YOU OUT AND IS LOOKING FOR A EXCUSE”

“You are shameless”

You stared at each other with a smirk fighting to break through, wanting to seem equally serious despite the ridiculous situation.

“She does not”

“She does. I’m betting 50 dollars”

Oh fuck off ill just roll you a blunt”

“A WIN IS A WIN” she said with her hands in the air “No come on! Respond already you are driving me crazy”

You rolled your eyes and considered her offer. You were taken aback cause Ellie didn’t seem like she would do anything with…dancing. However you weren’t new to influencers trying new things to get back on the algorithms favor so you brushed it off as her chasing new heights to her already growing fame.

-Hey, I’m not sure where you are exactly and it isn’t my studio. I am just renting the space but I could give you a lesson or two

Elliefuckingwilliams: Sweet! When are you available ? I have a gap next week otherwise it can be next month

You stared at her immediate response and quirked your brow in approval. Professional and straight to the point. You could respect that. Not what you were aiming for. You tried to ignore the previous conversations you two had that showed above her new messages. Your fruitless attempts at getting her attention in the most stupid of ways. Can’t blame a girl for trying. Shoot for the stars they say. You’ll land on dirt but hey, at least you gave it a fair shot and therefore no one could blame you for trying.

-This week is good. Say Friday ?

Elliefuckingwilliams: Yeah yeah cool! I'll text you the day before so that you can tell me your location and everything

You pursed your lips and turned to look at Ophelia who was on all fours on your couch desperately trying to steal a glance at your phone screen. You tossed it on one of the floor cushions

“Not a date. I’m just gonna be her dance instructor so looks like you owe me that blunt”

“Nu-uh. Bet you’ll be raw dogging in the studio. We will see who wins on Friday”

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

“And the dance floor is filling up with blood, But oh, Lord you’ve never been so in love”

ELLIE’s POV

Ellie was convinced that God had specifically hand crafted her body to be incapable of dancing. She had no coordination and perhaps was even tone deaf which was ridiculous for someone who played the guitar and sang. Not that she was a pro at that either but who creates a musician who doesn’t understand how to step on notes in any way other than with an instrument ? So now that she had texted you she was frantic, bouncing her leg up and down and chewing on the flesh around her fingernails.

“What's gotten into you?”

Dina asked while folding clothes. She was at her and Jesse's apartment for the night and she had yet to tell them about her new crush and her impatient attempt at getting to see you as soon as possible. Ellie was aware of you as a creator. Be it from a post-share on her friends stories or you falling on her timeline she would see you here and there. She vividly remembered a month where you peaked and she went from seeing you once every two months at best to seeing you every week. And she was curious as to why was everyone going crazy over you and your content. You seemed to interact mostly with Abby’s girl.

That’s how Ellie referred to the girl Abby seemed to be crushing on. In a game of broken telephone and who told what, Ellie planned on seeing how close Abby was with her girl and if that was close enough for her to ask if she could…well ask her about you and then somehow for that information to get back to you.

But all that plan failed the second Ellie asked

“So is Cotton dating anyone?”

And Abby took that horribly wrong and now was set on gatekeeping her. Ellie was awkward and a mess and couldn’t communicate properly what she wanted because to her, what she asked was obvious and had no hidden meaning or intention but the world around her didn’t work like that and she struggled so fucking hard with it.

Ellie’s second grant failure was when she followed you back. She was sure that you wouldn’t have missed it. But the silence was so loud it was deafening. You were still posting but you were otherwise quiet everywhere else. You rarely even watched her stories at this point so Ellie decided to grow a backbone and some balls and directly message you.

She flinched at the dry responses she gave you to your previous interactions which back then seemed professional but now they seemed…So distant.

Finally, she texted you.

and you responded.

“Dina I did a stupid thing”

Dina tossed the clothes in the wardrobe and kicked close giving up on tidying Jesse’s shit

“Ok, stupid how? Like speaking money or-”

“I texted my crush-”

“You have a crush?”

“Yes and so I texted her and-”

“Who is she ?”

“A content creator, anyways so I texted her”

“WHo?”

“Dina can you let me talk?!” she said frustrated and Dina grinned. She went to the kitchen aisle to grab a bottle of water and tossed another one Ellie’s way. She leaned against the counter listening to her friend endless yawping about this new crush. she called her twice a day until Friday, and would recite every move and gesture she planned on using to seduce you. Dina would turn each one down by saying

“You do realize that when you see her you will just shit your pants from excitement and won't say anything right?”

So ellie would hang up and call a few hours later with a new plan that aligned more with how she typically acted.

When Friday came she showered twice and changed outfits over and over again, as a result she was late. She was proud of her fit since the sleeveless turtleneck did a nice job at hugging her slim, well built frame and showed off her toned arms that took years of calisthenics to build and paired with a baggy pair of sweatpants she felt like she had the biggest dick in the city.

But once she parked outside of the studio you mentioned cold sweat ran down her spine and her hands felt clammy and sticky from anxiety.

what the hell am I doing

she questioned and rested her head against the steering wheel. She drummed her fingers on the soft leather and hummed a melody to ease her nerves till she heard light tapping on the window. She lifted her head and looked up and there you were. hair loose, shorts and a baggy graphic T that had a faded graffiti-like artwork of spiderman.

She hated how much she loved the sight in front of her.

she opened her door and slid out trying to gather her stuff in a hurry

“Hi sorry, were you waiting long? I missed the bus and had to wait a bit until the next one came…”

“no no! Its cool I was just, ugh trying to calm down cause I'm nervous”

you smiled and lowered your brows in empathy

“I assumed you would. You don't have experience in dancing right? Or at least you haven’t mentioned it anywhere”

She winced at how obvious her lie was and she didn’t know how to answer to that

I don’t dance but If that’s what it takes to fuck you then sure I can learn how to do a Ronde de Jambe

“ah yeah you got me there, I’ve never danced before”

“That’s cool with me. Just curious on what piqued your interest to start now. New hobby or…?”

“yeah new hobby!” she hurried to answer, glad that you inspired her on what lie to use for the day.

You nodded while checking her out head to toe and before she had time to boost her ego and assume that you did because you found her hot you said-

“Hm. I will need you to wear tighter pants next time so that I can see what you are doing with your legs. But for today it's fine”

and took the keys out of your duffel bag

“Well. Ellie williams. Ready to start?”

“ah yeah just, be gentle…? I've never done anything remotely close to dancing with my body and I might be pretty stiff”

“Don’t worry about it. I've had every type of student and all of them managed to pull a few cool moves in their second month. If there’s a will there’s a way”

she smiled more nervous than before. You were formal and professional leaving little close to no space for her to get flirty and she was at a loss. She should’ve done more research on dancer etiquette so that she wouldn’t have looked like such an uneducated swine but there was no point in getting angry over that now.

“We will start with basic breathing exercises and a warm up just to get you in the swing of things. We will start with body isolations”

Ellie stared at you from the mirror as you showed her the first few basic motions

“Alright so for the warmup just follow my lead”

you grabbed the remote and put on “never ending song” by Conan Grey which had a pretty standard rhythm and was easy to dance along to. Ellie was in awe with the plasticity of your body, every move being a continuation of the previous one all like a rolling tide of emotions complimenting the beat and the beat complimenting you.

On the other end, Ellie was too embarrassed to look at her own reflection

“alright so first to isolate your hips from your chest” you said and let the next song play. You laid your palm flat on her back and pointed a bit below her collarbones holding your fist in the air

“move with me, breathe in” you said and she tried to copy your move watching your chest rise. You shook your head

“no, I need only your chest to move. Relax your shoulders love” you teased with an easy smile and Ellie by now was a mess, from the proximity and from the simple exercise of trying to move your breathing pattern

You were oblivious to it all going from one body part to another occasionally fixing up her posture and tapping the part that she had to focus on, but all hell broke loose in your brain when you laid your hand on her stomach asking her to clench and unclench her core hunching within herself.

“You were so dramatic before, look at you Els. You just needed a little basic guidance “ you encouraged and she smiled and looked at you in excitement, oblivious to the fact that when she turned her head she was a breath away from accidentally kissing you

“ah! I-“

you smirked and pulled away

“I've been rehearsing this one choreo, best way to understand these exercises is through a dance routine. How do you feel about that?”

Ellie agreed and while dancing she kept being thrown off balance at the sharp turns that she had to take which in return slowed her down and she would miss a few steps. You let the music play in the background and let out an awkward chuckle

“Fuck ok this is my fault see I forgot to tell you about spotting”

“Spotting?”

You nodded and you pushed her back by her shoulder freeing up a line for you

“See when we turn, we always have a spot” You said and stepped into the appropriate preparation to do 8 simple turns, your head always snapping the back to the invisible mark you held with your eyes

Ellie pursed her lips. Seemed like such an obvious trick but one that went completely over her head

“Now I see that you struggle to look at yourself in the mirror, Which is fine. I’m sure you'll get used to it eventually, so instead try taking a few turns while holding eye contact with me, yeah ?”

You offered and she took a couple steps back

“Ugh…what were all those moves you made before spinning?”

“Oh don’t worry about that,thats ballet stuff. Just spin. Bent your elbows and hold your arms against your chest if it helps”

Ellie started off slow, picking up the pace as she neared you, eventually losing sight of what was in front of her

“Wow-wow-wowwww I got you” you said and steadied her by her shoulders and held her in place. She looked up at you taking in deep breaths, cheeks flushed and eyes wide open with her lips parted in a soft smile

“That went well, How do you feel?”

You said and you gently rubbed your thumb against the naked skin of her biceps.

“Great, I… I liked this it makes more sense now”

She said filled with excitement

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

Every time Ellie liked your story you felt your heart skip a few beats. You were in the studio for your solo dancing practice and kept bouncing from one leg to the other to keep your muscles warm while you scrolled through your phone to find some inspiration or a pic that you could post and in return give Ellie an opening to respond to. The image of her timidly trying to follow along through your every move, her flushed cheeks and her voice shaking did things to your brain chemistry, re-wiring its entire structure and flow. Every time she posted a story with a smug smile and pants lower than her boxer briefs you just laughed remembering what a shy and soft mess of words the girl was and felt an unhealthy amount of endearment. A spark re-ignited in your dead heart and you liked it. You liked ellie when you didn’t know her, and you liked her even more now that you did.

By now it had been…a good two weeks that consisted of 4 dance practices that you had with her. The first time you saw her up close all you thought was a “huh”

And then a “she is shorter than me-“ which for you was dangerous. You had an incredibly soft spot for masc lesbians who were shorter than you. Unfortunately they were never attracted to you though. You had always attracted the exact opposite of what you wanted and you blamed that on your overly dominant attitude.

On the second day you both had the same idea of treating each other to a coffee and so you ended up with 4 paper cups of iced almond milk lattes which you laughed about for a good 10 minutes

“We are so in sync!” You commented and she nodded excitedly, blushing all the way to her ears.

On the third dance practice you purposely pretended to assist her and correct her to find an excuse to touch her and when you saw how positively she reacted to it you pushed on the advantage that you had, heavily , which made you believe that maybe there really was some kind of ulterior motive as to why Ellie was so set on having you as a dancing coach.

On the fourth day there was a shift in the tide and something was in the waters. Ellie had her hair gathered and decided to wear the sluttiest outfit on earth ( aka a white top and grey sweatpants )

She went to greet you with a hug and you noticed her perfume, subtle but there to make you lust after it. She asked if she could record the Dance you were rehearsing for a post and you felt alright with that. And she excelled. She was a fast learner and her body had a good flow. It did need polishing but she wasn’t half as bad as she claimed to be. The fifth video take was close to perfection and in her excitement she yanked you towards her and wrapped you in a tight hug which you immediately reciprocated eager for the contact with the sex God standing before you. You took in the blended smell of her perfume and her sweat which had you feel insufferable discomfort with how tight your pants were. Something about her raw scent had you horny like a dog and you had to clench your jaw in patience not to act out of instinct and try to get closer than needed.

You both laughed and she yelled in excitement “I fucking did it”

And then your voice followed, a bit quieter “I told you, you could do it” she pulled back her arm still on your waist, her thumb caressing the skin as she watched the video a second time in excitement. You took the chance to stand a bit closer to her while she in sync wrapped her whole arm around you and leaned her head against your chest enjoying the dance and pointing out things that you could do differently next time, all in the comfort of each other’s embrace.

She posted the video and in the daze of the excitement of seeing what you two looked like next to each other you forgot to worry about the fact that you were yet again getting entangled with a public figure. An actually big one. While your previous relationship was just your ex leeching off of you and your success, this one…it had to be different. Ellie had nothing to gain from you and you put your trust in that and in the fact that the two of you seemed to genuinely get along

You decided to text her first

“You impatient fuck. We could’ve filmed a better take tomorrow”

“You are such an ass, let me enjoy my accomplishments”

You started tidying up the studio and decided to leave your bag with your ballet clothes and pointe there since you would come tomorrow for Ellie’s lessons anyways. You chatted back and forth all the way back and you almost tripped on your staircase too busy typing a response. You banged your head against your door though thinking you had unlocked it to find that you didn’t. Ophelia opened it for you

“Girl?”

You looked at each other and you immediately broke into a smile the split your lips

“Ellie posted our video. And she left in the part where she hugged me”

“Oh-hooooo” she exclaimed and rushed you in. She tossed the mop on the side of the wall and nudged you to the couch abandoning whatever housework she was in the middle of to listen to you

“Aaaand we are still talking” You said smiling and Ophelia clapped cheering for you while you swung your way inside the house and fell dramatically on the couch.

“Oh my, I’m so glad the Gods heard our prayers cause I was sure I was about to send you off to priesthood”

“It wasn’t that bad”

You said with an offended gasp and she scoffed

“Honey, one more month and you were about to grow back your virginity. I’m just happy to see you back out there and not just with anyone but with The Ellie fucking williams!” She said getting louder with every word. You joined her cheerful demeanor hopping on the couch and you both started bouncing on it like kids in a playground

“I can’t believe this. I wanna wear something good for our practice tomorrow”

“Shorts and that nice red bodysuit!”

“But-“

“No buts! I know it’s uncomfortable but she will see you and rip it off right away so how much will you really suffer, you know?”

Ophelia coming through with the obvious answer to any and every world known issue was exactly what you needed to finish off your day. Though to be fair, if there was anything you should have listened to regarding -making a move on your crush- that would have to be her. She had a banging record of pulling every single guy she set her eyes on and one night standing them for her own satisfaction. Of course now she had her sights on someone specific but that didn’t change or erase all previously acquired skills in the flirting department. Despite all of that, You ended up rejecting the bodysuit idea because that would be a hassle to actually get off if things would go anywhere and even if they wouldn't, anything that tight during summer was a nightmare in general.

“Hey can I borrow that white top you have?”

“Borrow whatever you want and do whatever you want just never let me know about it”

_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________

on the day that you fully planned on making a move a couple things went wrong. First and foremost well, It decided to rain down which meant you had to run all the way from the bus stop to the studio in a hopeless attempt to preserve your hair and outfit. It didn’t do much since you ended up like a drenched cat either way but you refused to let your mood falter.

You tried texting Ellie to ask if she could bring coffee for you two.

Few minutes later she came in with two iced coffees, not a drop of rain on her which you were awfully jealous of. Her cropped hair was once again all gathered in a short ponytail and she wore two sports wristbands around her arms which did unimaginable things to you. It was good sight with her sleeveless baggy tshirt. Ellie just knew how to dress plain and attractive.

“Looking good” she teased when she found you furiously trying to dry the ends of your hair with a towel

“Shut up. Please shut up”

“So sensitive” she said and rolled her eyes making her way to you and taking the towel from your hands

“Let me help” it wasn’t so much of a request as it was a demand when she pulled the towel out of your hands and moved behind you, wrapping your hair in it and squeezing it to get most of the water out. You felt your body temperature rise at the awfully tender gesture and unsure of what to do you just fidgeted with your hands looking at the floor

“ I can drive you back to your place if you want”

“No, it's fine. Ill wait it out”

“No no, I insist. Let me drive you back and look cool while doing so”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as she rounded you up to give you the towel with a small shy smile, her cheeks a shade of pink now.

Practice was good if you were to ignore that Ellie seemed a lot more focused on your assets rather than the moves you were showing. You knew the biker shorts you were gave her a 4K view of your ass but you didn't expect her to be this obvious about it. You stepped back after a moment and just watched as she rehearsed the dance on her own and you were in awe on how much more comfortable she seemed with her body now

“Good. This one was very good. Want me to film you so that you look at yourself?”

you asked and she shook her head satisfied with the progress. You slouched on the ground, legs spread and ankles on your knees wiping the sweat of your brow carefully as not wipe your brow completely off with it and looked at the time

“Well we are pretty much done then for today. Unless there’s anything you wanted to ask me or anything else you wanna try doing?” you asked and Ellie followed your lead walking over to you across the room and crouching down on her knees in front of you

“Oh yeah I did wanna ask something”

“go ahead then” you said dreading having to get up. You didn’t have to though

“Can I take you out on a date ? for coffee perhaps?”

[rnanqo]

how do you keep the momentum going on your original story? i'm impressed and amazed at how often i see a post about something the characters did or about the act you're on now

this is a great question and honestly, treasured online pals who will like my silly posts are so so so important so i am delighted you asked!! but I do wanna break down the motivation/how I keep myself going parts because it took me literal decades to figure out how I work best and take advantage of that

- knowing where the book is going, both storywise and careerwise. the initial idea had a hook and an ending i’m dead set on, so I am constantly writing toward that. I have written so many books where I didn’t have an ending in mind and frankly, ick, blegh, that’s the least successful way for me to write anything. careerwise I’d love for this to be a tradpub debut novel, which means I have to query literary agents, which I have done before, so I know how I need to shape the project and have been tinkering with the query & synopsis on the side, both because doing that helps tighten the story as I go and because I know I hate writing those things after the book is done. basically…plans! I know what work I need to do and i know that I can do it

- also, deadlines! external deadlines are basically the only way I do anything. for the past year and a half I’ve been in a monthly critique group I have to send 5k of writing into every month, and I’m joining a summer novel swap for which I have to have a beta-readable draft by the end of this month. self-imposed deadlines do nothing for me I need to join groups and classes and things

- making tumblr posts about the book and seeing little hearts appear is VERY motivating and I am shaking everyone who’s ever cheered me on in that way gratefully by the hand. yes, you, the person reading this! you help keep me going!! im like tinkerbell if nobody claps i’ll DIE

- momentum does wax and wane though. from mid-March to the end of April I did barely anything on the book because BG3 consumed my brain. but that’s ok!! I felt mildly guilty about it but I find the distractions pass sooner if I just throw myself bodily into them. I’ll always get back to a project eventually

- and the love-of-the-project part. i just love the world and characters I’ve created so much and I like watching them make each other suffer! I’m having fun!!! and I know that that’ll eventually turn into the “I feel nothing for these people and cannot think about them for another second” stage, which is when I will need to take a break and play bg3 for another solid month

- unexpectedly, hozier? the project playlist is like 75% hozier punctuated by a single 3OH!3 song. I do a lot of brainstorming by listening to music on walks/drives and this project imprinted on hozier i guess. thanks hozier!

overall all these things sort of combine into a sense that the book is compelling me to write it, instead of the reverse, which feels like me pulling words out painfully by my fingernails. when I start feeling like I’m dragging the words into existence kicking and screaming, I take a break. obviously nobody’s wholly inspired ALL the time, but I understand how I work and have set things up so there’s always something that spurs me onward. never underestimate the motivational power of being able to shitpost about it

[crystalverse-project]

introduction to my blog

my name is ace. i'm 19, non binary, pronouns are they/them, i have autism and anxiety. the raichu in my icon is my pokesona, pancakes.

this blog isn't much. it's just about my comfort au about dantdm called the crystalverse and other posts about why he as a character makes me feel happy and safe. i'll post art and writing and stuff, maybe shitposts, merch posts, just silly things.

i just need an outlet. literally look at my character

some important things you should know about me before reading my blog

1. not in the fandom

i'm not in the fandom. i'm not in the mcyt fandom, or any fandom. i just like dan. i like the old mod showcase series, it brings me comfort, so i write about it. and i made up an au because it's like a safety net in my life.

2. blog is only about dan

i don't know much about other mcyt series. i know some stampy lore and i like it but that's about it. dsmp, empires smp, hermitcraft, even the ones dan was in like shady oaks and qsmp i just have literally no idea. if it has the letters "smp" in it assume i know nothing.

seriously guys the biggest youtuber crossover my mind can handle is episode 6 of mcsm. and that's only cause you don't need prior knowledge of them to get it

3. i respect them even if i don't watch them

i have the full confidence all these series are enjoyable but in my view trying to learn about so many characters and so much lore and so many youtubers i don't watch is my textbook definition of overwhelming.

i mean, you can't be a fan of everything, right?

simply put: my mind can only take one of these at once. and it's the same series my mind landed on ten years ago. and i'm content with that, because all anything else will lead me to is burnout, anxiety and overstimulation.

i just wanted to say this because i feel like by making this blog about one minecraft series i automatically like x amout of others, when i just like one.

tldr: it's not mcyt i'm fixated on. it's just one series that happpened to be one

4. it's the characters

i like dan in a very specific way. so specific that i'm not even sure if i count as a fan/teamtdm member. especially with some other places i've tried posting on and opinions/headcanons i've made i'm probably not. so don't consider me that. just consider me a fan of the characters because that's one thing you can guarantee if nothing else.

5. intent for this blog (why do something so specific?)

for myself. for my own happiness and to cope with my own struggles. most of the time i'm anxious and unhappy, so i need to cling on to what makes me happy. and if that's an old minecraft mad scientist goober series, and an au i made up just to crank up the comfort, i think i could do worse.

this might all be too personal and deep, but i don't want this blog to look like something it's not.

warnings:

if you ask anything about the trayaurus is homophobic meme i'll block you. idc if it's a joke. i don't find it funny and i don't appreciate my comfort character getting dragged through the mud like that.

relevant, this blog's au focuses heavily on c!dan and trayaurus as a couple (ship known as danaurus) this has NOTHING to do with him irl. i almost didn't do this blog or publish it online because the few times this was mentioned it was all negative but i might as well go all out.

this is an anti gen ai blog. i do all my art and all my writing by myself.

where you can find me elsewhere

ao3 (where my stories are hosted)

...that's about it.

anyway. enjoy what i have to post, if you want to. ^ ^

[rametarin]

The ungratefulness of some people still bothers me.

So.. I've mentioned more than once that I have this funny tendency to come across people, that later become famous, before they become big. To what extent and specifics, I cannot elaborate on, but suffice to say, the coincidences are bizarre and improbable.

But, anyway. Throughout the decades I've just done shit like Phillip J. Fry and Forrest Gump and wound up influencing decisions of a few indie games, comic books, cartoons and at least one movie, just by meeting the right rando, I've had a few that just.. ah... were confusing.

There was at least one person that believed I was a complete moron. Just, the worst. They wore a nice mask, said they liked me well enough, but their opinion on my intelligence was not positive. They knew I wasn't stupid, but they just had this perception that I was some retarded and pathetic creature, inferior to them.

But, ironically, despite their supposed superiority, they still hung off my ass like a baby koala bear ready to eat whatever creative shit I just happened to give'em. Because apparently my shitposts and whimsical ideas create more bridges and foundational developments for their own work, faster than they can do it themselves.

So they were stuck in this position where they didn't want to pay me or acknowledge I was pretty much the backbone of their project, but also wanted to maximize exactly how much work I put into their project. So, they pretended to like me a bit more than they did.

And after they thought they had me locked in, made crass and demeaning jokes when they thought I wasn't looking to our mutuals- some of which agreed with this view that they were my intellectual superiors. Despite the fact their project only really got base load work and progress after I swung my big brain dick and dragged a groove into the bedrock for them to come after me.

Well, one day during help with their project, they had the audacity to call me a moron to my face. They'd made little indirect pussy quips about my intelligence and maturity before- enough where through remembering each little slight, it painted an unflattering picture of where they really thought we stood, in relation to eachother.

And needless to say, I wasn't enthused about someone losing face, calling me a fucking idiot, but still demanding I fork over work for their project- a project I was offering ideas and character concepts on, just because I liked it and wanted it to succeed.

So I went unannounced AFK for 2 hours, and then left. And haven't been back, since. And their project has gone nowhere for years.

There's a lesson in this story, if you care to read into it.

[puckpocketed]

how do you stay enthusiastic when your basically talking to yourself on here about some teams??

TAKE MY FIN !!! the master plan really was to infiltrate popular hockeyblr tags and then once i got followers/mutuals, to inflict upon them untold amounts of propaganda about my obscure special little guys...! the idea is to drag fandoms around them into wretched existence one shitpost and gif at a time. anyway (with soooo much rizz) is it working is it working is it working ? <3 biting every single person who has ever liked my posts about my players from the juniors/AHL and relatively dead liveblogs ...!

as always because i take some asks too seriously, we are breaking character under the cut <3

this all boils down to the unfortunate fact that someone has to be first lol

and to wit, I don't know if I'm ever talking to myself on here. i think we rarely are, even if it seems like we're alone. is that what you're concerned about? I'm trying to interpret your ask, but of course we can't exactly have a conversation (unless you hop off anon!!). anyway!! often I'll make posts about a new special little guy I've picked up off the ground and it turns out 1-2 other people really love that special little guy as well, and then i get to make a new friend !! I have unearthed some incredible things from old blogs! I imagine someone searching for their guy could stumble on my stuff and find a little connection and kinship knowing someone else loved that guy first, because that's how I feel when I'm the one finding people's posts about my guys. someone has to be first! and someone has to be second. and so on.

most recently, beloved Sharks prospect Luca Cagnoni has let me meet a really cool person (whose gifs and edits are immaculate btw.. meg if u see this i am a big fan as you already know !!!) they are perhaps the only other person on this platform who has gifed him besides me, and that's our common point of interest!! but again, someone had to be first. and then i was second <3

idk. if no one ever posted about their special guys because they thought no one else cared, no fandoms would ever exist. enthusiasm is infectious. I love to listen to my friends talk about their special interests so much. I love to hear propaganda about other people's special little guys. that's half the reason I pick up new guys!!! so deep deeeeeep down, I am hoping just a little bit that my enthusiasm for my guys catches, and someone reading my posts about my guys wanders by and thinks "whats all this??" and is compelled to join in on the fun :3 sometimes i'm the second or third person, sometimes i'm the first. i don't mind either way <3

as for the answer to your actual question... I'm enthusiastic because I'm just posting on my blog, which is the place where I can talk about my interests. that's what tumblr is all about, no?? <3 I stay enthusiastic because it's fun to yell into the void, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't feel that way!! i get a kind of emotional catharsis venting my affections and thoughts about, say, Brandt Clarke (current mind cow, offensive defenceman who is banished to the AHL... all due respect to that league, I think his development is being hampered by staying there, he does not belong there so PLEASE LET HIM BE ON THE KINGS ROSTER FULL TIME NEXT SEASON @ ROB BLAKE AND UNNAMED HEAD COACH <3) even if like 2 other people on here know who tf he is!! even if 0 people know who tf he is!! also (voice of an only-child who has had to make their own fun) aside from my secret hope that I'm making effective propaganda, i figure that the way i feel about my teams and players exists independent of how others feel about them. why does it matter if im mostly talking to myself?

You ask me how i stay enthusiastic talking to myself, and I'm hearing "isn't it lonely?" and what I'm saying is i wouldn't be posting about anything so enthusiastically in the first place if I didn't love it enough to rant at a wall <3 and truly the answer is get obsessed. get deeply immersed. learn the deep cuts and the lore. develop parasocial beef with your team's GM for not calling up your special guy. rail at the systemic barriers (height discrimination) that keep your guys from being taken at the draft. narrativepost about them. make art and gifs and edits and poetry web weaves. write rpf stories if you are so inclined! enjoy a team or a player for exactly what they are, and do it with sincerity. no irony. no holding back. and because hockeyblr is a big and beautiful place, someone out there probably agrees with you and you'll find each other by way of yelling loud enough!!! if not now, then one day soon. do it because someone has to be first and it might as well be you <3

[manofmanymons]

Survive kids on twitter? (Sorry i just needed to ask someone this and i like asking things) or survive kids reacting to todays tumblr status or twitters political aggresiveness

(Example: vanilla extract)

I imagine Aoi being like my roommate and by that I mean she follows too many political accounts and makes herself sad scrolling through the tl every night. She has to delete the app for her mental health.

She eventually makes a new account but this time only follows lyric bots and accounts that post cute animals.

Minoru and Miu are both on fandom twitter but for very different fandoms. Minoru runs one of those gimmick accounts and none of his mutuals on main know it's him. Miu is 90% a shitposter and has no idea how she ended up with so many followers. Her tumblr is mainly original spooky short stories. People who follow both of her accounts think the difference in vibes is hilarious.

They both send memes in chat.

Saki starts out on "normal" twitter but slowly gets dragged into fandom twitter by the other two and gets super into following cosplay accounts. She posts more on insta whereas her twitter is full of rts.

Ryo follows like 50 "bug of the day" accounts. He, Takuma, and Kaito are all only on twitter because their friends forced them to be.

Takuma is Mr. Boring who makes posts like "had a sandwich for lunch today :)" He likes ALL of his friends' posts and leaves cute comments on them.

Kaito does not use his twitter. DRACMON, however—

(Well, he doesn't post anything, but Kaito is very sus of all of Miu’s online friends, and it takes a lot of self-control not to obsessively scroll through her page to keep an eye on them. He has personally asked Dracmon to slap him and take his phone away if he starts doing it.)

Shuuji and Akiharu run a Kemonogami blog together. They would have separate accounts but old man no technology goodly but still has a lot to say.

Shuuji also follows a lot of mental health blogs and sends advice he thinks is helpful to the squad gc.

Miyuki does not have a twitter ksjdn

They all also have priv accounts that they use exclusively to follow each other so they can scream their more personal or random thoughts into the void without any pressure for anyone to actually respond. Basically a way to talk to each other without gunking up the gc.

They block each other over petty stuff CONSTANTLY

I said it before but I'll say it again

Miu, Minoru, and Saki would make the vanilla extract cake

They all, as a group, have gotten in heated debates in their gc over tumblr polls.

Death threats were made over the snail race

[hottakehoulihan]

Never mind. Go on about your business. This is shitpost crackpost about Taylor/Theo and

Oh god can you imagine if Theo had actually gotten to home base with Taylor if she had let him in to her lair and her "lair" and then he noticed things like her having cockroaches drag her panties back to her so she could put them on again and more assorted flightless bugs climb her ankles up and wick the sweat from her thighs and he turns to run and he sees her toothbrush being carried by dragonflies and as he's trying to negotiate the hallway to the exit the lights go out and she's still just standing there he can feel it he can see her silhouette or is that her is it one of her bug clones what are the specks which way does she go is it safe to make a sound this has nothing to do with praying mantises but maybe prayer would be a good idea don't think me into the cornfield I wonder if she has dermestid beetles I wonder if she has a forgiving personality I wonder if we can be friends

[eggjaculations]

i’m watching a vid on how echo chambers work and how media literacy has gone down bc everyone is a producer of media now (thru tweets and such) and they don’t think about how their media presents itself to the world bc it’s so fast and easy and i keep thinking about how the only social media site i’m on is tumblr and it’s really hard to make an echo chamber when everyone’s shitposts are so creative and specific and ultra personal sometimes but still relatable and how this site really encourages having your own opinions that are still yes influenced by the things you see but the amount i see ‘media literacy’ on BLAZED posts i mean this is the fandom website this is the headcanon website this is the blorbo website and while anyone can have an opinion you will be crucified if you misrepresent a popular character (unless you specifically say you’re doing so for a reason and even then you will have Those People) like we make fun of each other so much and get into all these arguments about fandom but don’t you see. we are the academics of social media. we’re the ones spearheading collective conversation (as opposed to youtube’s setup) we’re the ones urging people to revisit the texts we reference (or just throw it in their faces with screenshots and direct quotes that are FORMATTED like by god you people are dogs intellectuals) were the ones who’s screenshots end up on every other site under ‘literary critique’ (not in those words…not in those words…) but anyway i’m just really impressed with the tumblr community like yea we have our own Shitty People and Shitty Communities (looking at you terfs) but while reddit is so…closed…tumblr is terrifyingly thrillingly open. i have no idea who this post will reach or what people will interact with it (if any probably not) but on reddit i know exactly how many responses i will get at what time of day and the people will all be from that community. if you don’t post anything controversial you won’t get crucified. on tumblr people are dragging around crosses like “anyone wanna help me with this” and everyone’s like “oh sure! oh but actually i don’t think crucifixion is necessary. i’d much rather just leave if you’re gonna continue with this.” it’s just a really interesting dynamic that does actually help reduce the amount of idiotic contrarians in the world.

[bloodgulchblog]

"Speed dating au" is just a phrase me and my one friend use to launch goofy discord shitposting scenarios about the Chief and Esparza within a tiny au based on a ridiculous premise. (Some other discord pals have also heard about/contributed to this idea and I think it being speed dating was originally @poisonheadcrabsalesman's idea but the chiefpilot end of it was me veering off with a non-tumblr partner in crime for sure.) I could've made it into a fic, but it would've been a lot of work on my end and it was just more fun to mess around cowriting silly shit with a friend. (And it still is fun.)

It turns out a bit different every time, but is always very funny.

Here, patched together from a conversation we had establishing it (and that I got permission to share) are the bones of that original idea:

Fernando Esparza has been dragged by his well-meaning friends into a speed dating event and fuck it, fine, whatever, he supposes he's here now and he will endure it.

He expects nothing.

He does not expect to meet this very large and intense dude who pretty much has to be a Spartan, approaching this shit like a man on a mission.

Who the fuck is this dude? He's adorable?

John is just like hey, proposition for you, Esparza. You seem to be very practical. Would you like to try this one weird trick he heard of? Did you know that they say healthy physical intimacy is good for your body and your emotions and can contribute to optimal operational readiness?

...John, he's pretty sure nobody talks about this like that.

Yes. He has noticed. And it's kind of frustrating, to be honest.

Oh no he's adorable AND weird, what a deadly combination?

And somehow Esparza, against perhaps wiser judgment, ends up agreeing to see this guy again later. Because this is weird, but he's not, like, threatening? He's the most fascinating thing that has happened to Fernando in quite some time, and he wants to get to the bottom of what this guy's deal is.

(And, like, the fact he's pretty hot actually isn't a bad feature. But shut up.)

You see, a thing about being an educated engineer is that Fernando Esparza knows and understands certain breeds of undersocialized nerd. There is a vibe here. Talking to this John guy more later just completely confirms what he thought: Oh, this man is incredibly serious and thinks he has solved a soft human emotions/experiences puzzle with hard logic and putting words in the right order. Oh boy.

He... really feels like someone should maybe look out for this guy because he sure is Doing Something.

"....Big guy, this is the longest way I've ever heard anybody try to ask for a hug."

It is the most awkward and stiff hug ever unleashed upon creation. It's... sad. John literally apologizes to him because he knows that was bad.

"...John, c'mere." Fernando cups his cheek and kisses him on the forehead and tells him look, you shouldn't push yourself for more than that if that was already hard for you. You should be comfortable first, okay?

After it's over he is reasonably confident that this is the end of the mystery, the dude is going to vanish like a cryptid into the depths of the S-Deck and never be seen again.

His buddies tease him like hey Esparza did you figure out if that guy you said you met was actually a Spartan or what?

And it's like a whole three days later that he gets a message thanking him, and offering to hang out again sometime if he wants.

And that's how they become friends that hang out and gossip and one half of the equation starts getting better at normal levels of physical affection, and if Fernando's quietly doing a lot better as a person with something he looks forward to... Well. Nobody else's business.

One year ago tomorrow I started shitposting with pals about Infinity speed dating and I need to bring that energy back.

[mayspicer]

There are no rules saying you can't spend over 6 hours on a shitpost.

[silkjade]

ʀᴜʟᴇꜱ & ɪɴꜰᴏ

Hello! This is a genshin impact (+ possibly hsr) inspired blog! sfw + n’sfw. Not spoiler free, but tagged accordingly. Open to dark content (tagged)

This is not a sole writing blog, so I do also post & reblog non-writing content. Updates will be sporadic. Self ship friendly

DO NOT FEED MY WORKS INTO AI. DO NOT REPOST / LINK ON TIKTOK, WATTPAD, OR ANY OTHER PLATFORMS. Tumblr & AO3 (same username: silkjade) are my only writing accounts

byf + dni

⤀ blog tags

⤀ basic dni criteria (racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, ableism, etc. or anyone who is just looking for a fight) + minors who write and interact with n’sfw + adults who allow minors to interact w their n’sfw

⤀ minors do not interact with me personally. however, you can like/reblog my sfw work. minors and ageless blogs caught interacting w n’sfw posts, thirsts, etc will be blocked

⤀ remember that you are responsible for curating your own experience. be aware of the content you’re consuming and block all necessary tags

⤀ blank blogs and bot-looking blogs will be blocked

⤀ if you were blocked (and we are not mutuals) but you’ve remedied something (ie. you’ve added an age somewhere, you’re no longer a blank blog, etc) then feel free to send an anonymous ask with your username and i’ll take a second look. i won’t post the ask

⤀ don’t ask to be mutuals, i will follow if i’m interested or if we interact often. i soft block to break the mutual — no hard feelings, it’s probably not personal. hard block if i was irritated or made uncomfortable and i do not owe you an explanation so don’t come into my inbox asking for a reason why

.

⤀ this is a dark content friendly blog. not sure if i will ever personally write dc, but any reblogs or interactions will be tagged accordingly

⤀ reader is always written to be 21+ and is gender neutral unless otherwise specified. when i write fem!reader i try not to include pronouns. n’sfw will always be afab

HARD NO’S :: scat/piss/blood/vomit play, non-con, SA, gore, incest, stepcest, p*dophaelia, underage, age regression, heavy dom!reader/sub!character, period sex, anything regarding pregnancy (w the exception of breeding kink)

⤀ i do not write body specific features for reader ( ie. tattoos, piercings, scars, body types, etc ) i want to be as inclusive as possible !

⤀ please don’t spam like without a reblog somewhere in between, especially on random shitposts as this irritates me and i will block you. 10+ rapid likes in a row = block (it’s ok if it’s sort of spaced out enough, where i can tell you are actually reading my stuff)

asks + requests

⤀ ask box is always open, so feel free to say hi ! i looove to chitchat n i can be flirty when i talk but it’s all platonic; if it makes you uncomfortable, please let me know !

⤀ no trauma dumping / venting, unless we are mutuals, then i’d be happy to listen

⤀ i take requests as suggestions. You can send your ideas in but please don’t expect anything unless i feel particularly inspired or motivated. short brainrots + thirsts are very welcome though !

⤀ please be respectful. this includes to me, my mutuals, my followers, other writers, etc. i’m not interested in drama so do not drag me into any discourse, we’re all just here to have fun. if you have an issue w me, just talk to me directly

[thecl0wnfather]

Really long Twisted Wonderland idea post.

Yuu gets to pet any and all creatures, the post. Gimme a kiss if you like it *does a kickflip on Cater's skateboard*

* @ that person who wrote a post about Crowley calling Yuu a beast tamer, and Yuu being cool with Beastmen because of that title. I wanna tag you, but I kinda forgot who it was n' now I can't find it, someone tell me :( I'm expanding on that idea <3

* Malleus and Grim are the beginnings of Yuu's innate ability to attract any and all creatures. The bats that follow Lilia, Silver's forest friends, the Equestrian club horses, Lucius, Beastmen, fae, mermen, and whatever else... will just find themselves getting closer to Yuu. Whether they notice it or not.

* Ramshackle has officially been taken over by the sheer amount of living beings raiding the place every week. Yuu's beast tamer aura is similar to Silver's D*sney Princess animal abilities, except ten times worse, and they can't stop finding a new nest and/or burrow of some random animal family.

* The Ghost trio living there have basically become the housekeepers and have to constant kick out critters and students before they end up cramming up the dorm. That, or breaking the rickety old floorboards from the amount of them.

* Not everyday you get to have some time to touch any new animal (or person), so Yuu went along with it. Come to the Ramshackle dorm if you want pettings AND a free therapy session. All profits go to the Ramshackle dorm. (And Grim's premium tuna bill!)

* Grim doesn't enjoy this. His henchmen is practically a zookeeper at this point, and if Grim isn't your number one priority among these BEASTS then that's just blasphemy. Remember. He can be your angle, or yuor devil 😈

+ Dire Crowley is also here. Crowley gets to sit in the corner and drink from a cup of apple juice like a drinky bird. Drink well, sweet headmaster (derogatory AND affectionate <3)

* This whole next part is just Yuu being a total numbnut in other dorms lmao... Gets kinda long for a quick shitpost...

* Heartslabyul probably owes Yuu a ton of favours tbh. Ace and Deuce think doing their chores are a drag, so... Why not get the infamous Ramshackle Prefect to go take care of the animals today? They can enjoy being covered in a pile of hedgehogs and flamingos! Cue Riddle finding out (Cater. Cute animals + Bestie prefect. Magicam.) and scolding Adeuce for dumping their duties on someone else. At the very least, they're usually paid back with some kind of sweet treat from Trey. Maybe a flash of a purple cat's smile too.

* Savanaclaw? Yuu calls it the petting zoo, babey. Call it luck, but Yuu gets to be besties with Savanaclaw boys after they come in petting them and telling them they did a good job— Post Chapter 2. Is it their aura? The way they calm their rowdy style? None of the beastmen know, but they do know that Yuu is a very nice magicless human to hang with. Leona is still the boss around the dorm. No one gets a "Good boy!" or headpats if Leona is around. Sure, Leona kicks them out before they spoil the boys, but... who says Leona isn't 100% hogging the good feels at Ramshackle? Ruggie comes along too. Jack would too, but this is Jack Howl we're talking about lol. (He defo acts likes it's an inconvenience, but everyone knows better 😔)

* Octavinelle— Floyd would deadass keep Yuu trapped in a hug as soon as they take a step into Mostro Lounge. Jade has the knowledge not to trap them in front of everyone, but he's dragging them into the VIP room to do the same as his twin. Yuu is not immune to a happy Leech twin snuggle sammy. May they be blessed with infinite mushrooms and an ungodly amount of shrimp dishes. Azul will, undeniably, take advantage of Yuu's strange aura and use them as a marketing tool to gain more customers. Points for diversity, he says.

* Scarabia also owes Yuu some favours, but they're payed back almost instantaneously. Kalim definitely invites the Ramshackle duo to hang out with animals and have a feast every week. Jamil might be having a heart attack from seeing TWO reckless morons cuddling a tiger, but that is his own problem. Bonus if Silver joins the party, cause that means Kalim gets TWO besties to chill with animals. (Maybe you could calm Jamil by tempting him with a parrot? Or a viper if you're feeling silly)

* Banned from Pomefiore lmao. Vil admires your capabilities, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to walk around like a fur magnet into his dorm. Rook would go to Ramshackle to fawn over the many critters (And possibly bother Leona and Ruggie if they're nearby) although he usually ends up terrifying everyone there. Don't tell Epel, but everyone takes pictures of him when little birds land on his head whenever he comes over for a study session at Ramshackle. Yuu never says anything because the birds know they have an album of "Cute friends and cute creatures" on their phone.

* Ignihyde is crying, my guy. Why does Yuu always waltz in with strangers and wild animals in tow??? Idia, however, is also taking advantage of Yuu's passive skill of beast tamer! Technically, if Idia ranks up his friendship with Yuu, shouldn't that mean his rate of pulling a few cats and dogs go up? The pros of dealing with one person to get his furry euphoria versus the cons of social interaction and social anxiety... He's in a dilemma, but Ortho is happy. Big brother is trying to get a friend! Uh, somewhat.

* Diasomnia has a bad case of bird nests tucked in every corner of the dorm. Both Silver and Yuu are the cause of this, but how could Lilia scold them? His son and the prefect look very peaceful as they hand feed little woodland critters together. Sebek interrupts this, of course. Will Yuu pet the half-fae lad to calm him, and will it work? Depends on if you think being half-fae counts. Malleus is one happy dragon faerie though! That's all that matters. Him and his super cool other-wordly, technically alien, human best friend have chats over tea, and Sebek can't do a single thing about it. (Added note: Lilia includes soft vampire papa hugs if you'd like that)

+ Ramshackle extra. Yuu buried in a pile of their first-year friends. Just buddies in a cuddle pile with sweet baby Grim in the middle. That's it. There's nothing else other than love and peace in the pile 😎 I just wanted that in your mind.

Guys, I think I took this too far for a 'shitpost', but I don't give a shit. Catch you on the flip side baby, heeya.

[shiningstarlight101]

Aight time to settle most of the hermit mob species in my hermitcraft mob au (it's not all 100% set in stone yet, especially since i don't watch all the hermits lmao)

Post 1/2

Part 2

Why is this split in 2? Because I don't have any idea for some hermits yet and it's really late so if I don't split it up I will pass out halfway through 👌

Let's get the obvious ones out of the way first 🌟

Doc

He's a creeper. Is there any other option possible lmao.

Jevin

With his new skin, his slime-ness is popping out even more lol, I cannot imagine giving him any other mob type.

Cleo

So, I know she's called ZombieCleo but what if I just do,,, drowned!Cleo. Drowned see zombies that drag you down in the sea and will even go on land to chase you (made it more dramatic, drowned without tridents aint shit lmao). It just reminds me of old sailor tales about ghost ships and ghost pirates that drag down boats. So, season 6 Cleo and her ships.

Cub & Scar

Everyone always makes Cub a vex, and I agree. But they also often make Scar a wizard. Now, hear me out. Evoker!Scar and vex!Cub. Scar can summon Cub whenever he wants but he doesn't because he's not exactly the greatest at it. Infact, Scar isn't that good at evoker magic, period. So he likes to pretend he's a witch instead.

Gem

So with Gem I have a really specific mob in mind, which is the moobloom. And I know that the moobloom lost the mob vote (it won in my heart), it's my au so Moobloom!Gem 😌. I noticed the fast majority of Gem's skins having a flower crown of some sort, and a lot of Gem fanart show her with deer antlers and legs. What if Gem is a moobloom and the flowers in her hair just grow whenever she goes to sleep. She always wakes up with a fresh crown.

Bdubs

Aus always make him a phantom and I cannot think of a better option lmao. Bdubs always sleeps at night because he gets more agressive the darker it gets, especially if any people who are sleep deprived are near him. The issue is that like 80% of the hermits will go 30 hours without sleep.

Grian

After beating the enderdragon in evo, something happened. Something Grian has little to no memory off. But it caused him to become the next enderdragon. Stuck in the end till Mumbo brought him to hermitcraft. In short: enderdragon!Grian.

Pearl

I said this in my last post but I like the idea of Pearl being an enderman. Because the end looks like the moon to me. What if enderdragon!Grian and enderman!Pearl met while Grian was aimlessly waiting in the end for someone, anyone, to find him?

False

Not 100% sure with False. Spider!False would be interesting, so would skeleton!False but I really like the idea of stray!False or vindicator!False, I just do not have a reason to justify myself.

Impulse

I want Impulse to be a a strong mob, one that can take a lot. Thanks to his ties with breaking bedrock and selling totems. You have to have some kind of strenght to break away mountains of bedrock. So I give you, wither skeleton!Impulse or wither!Impulse. Partially because I find it funny of a mob of death to sell totems of undying.

Tango

Tango has a very nether-y aesthetic. It was a close tie between blaze and magma cube but I'm going with magma cube. My 2 dumbass reasons for magma cube!Tango are 1. Bouncy personality deserves a bouncy mob and 2. Red eyes. And I just like the idea of him being a magma cube.

Zedaph

Honestly all I could think of was that one time Zadaph made a strider shitpost and I can see Zedaph just skating through the nether lava so yes, strider!Zedaph.