#if i dont then i simply Cannot focus on it properly

[dandyshucks]

if i streamed my art process, i think it'd just be me grumbling quietly to myself while i painstakingly slowly paint a needlessly realistic portrait of the same guy for the hundredth time. all with embarrassingly peppy music playing in the background.

[variousincorrectxreader]

quick word vomit.

my favorite genshin characters reacting to your death.

includes: Sucrose, Amber, Zhongli and Lumine.

Warnings: character death (reader), slight spoilers in Sucrose's part, blood in both Amber and Lumines part, reader is sick in Zhongli's part.

Sucrose

She was completely unaware that you had left without taking proper first aid, she was simply too distracted to do her usual check up on you. Oh how she wishes she did so now.

"dont worry! Sweets. I'll be back before you know it. Its just a simple supply run after all."

and you had left, leaving with a peck on the cheek and a murmured I love you that she barely caught, too focussed on her strange experiments to reply. You had run into a horde of monsters blocking the road. A very unlucky random encounter. Only you and two others were fully equipped to fight, and fight you did... you fought well, but you had sustained heavy injuries, and you had no way of healing them. How stupid you felt, how guilty you felt. Because now you were leaving Sucrose behind, just like her so called friends. your vision went dark, dot by dot, the yelling of your comrades fading away into nothing.

Sucrose was just finishing yet another experiment when a knock on the door was heard. 'Strange,' she thought. Normally you would just barge in, recounting your epic tale of the day. Well whatever. She was just happy to see you, excited to show you her findings. So why did her stomach twist uncomfortably as she approached the door?

Instead of your smiling face, smudged with dirt and who knows what, she was met with two grim faces. Both looked as if they had been through hell. Sucrose's heart dropped as she saw what they were holding in their hands. Her world faded away, tuning out the condolences given by your teammates as her focus zoomed onto the familiar weapon and- Your vision. Dull and devoid of color.

in that moment, Sucrose felt her entire world break, her usual anxiety around unknown people crumbling away as she snatched the vision out of their hands, sinking to her knees and sobbing her eyes out, tears fogging up her glasses.

You had left her alone.

———

Amber

The Outrider was there, with you when you died, having been assigned a mission around the edge of Mondstadt, responding to reports of treasure hoarders passing through constantly. Her mind frequently wanders to that fateful day, wishing she was able to protect you better... wishing to have been stronger. You had gotten shot. Twice, an arrow wedged painfully in the side of your ribcage and another buried in your chest. Warm blood was coating your lovers hands, drenching your shirt and sticking to Ambers body. Her brown eyes were staring fearfully into your own

"H-hey, sleepyhead... stay awake, alright! That way w-we can... go eat some sticky honey roast with P-paimon and the t-traveler..."

she knows its useless, you know its useless... you've been bleeding for too long, the wounds too deep to heal properly. But she still tries to cling onto hope. And all you do is smile, your breaths shallow. And in your last moments you comfort her, youre dying and yet... shes the one seeking your comfort instead of her giving it to you. She feels so worthless right now. As she watches your vision and the light in your eyes flicker, she pulls you close. Rocking you as if you were falling asleep. Your last words being a testament of your love for her.

and as your grip on her hand loosens, she knows you have gone somewhere she cant follow, not even if she ran with all her might, or crossed the most dangerous chasms with her wind glider. Youre gone, and she will forever blame herself.

———

Zhongli

The Geo Archon is grateful for the time he has with you, so many good memories of laughing and telling stories while drinking wine.

But he cannot stop himself from despising the fact that you, are a mere mortal. While he, he is a God with much more time on Teyvat that you could ever dream of.

especially when you are brought into the Funeral parlor he is currently employed at. Was this why Hu Tao was acting weird? Zhongli was no fool, he knew you were sick. He knew that your lifespan was short, even more so than the average mortal life. Bu he didnt expect you to just flicker out so fast. Zhongli is used to seeing the people he cares for dying, for he has been around to see the rise and fall of many things, including Liyue itself. But it still hurts just as much as it did a thousand years ago, to lose someone so important to him.

you left him letters, the first one he found in your shared home, on his bedside table. Along with the Vision he himself had given to you, The letter had been an apology, for not telling him that your health had gotten worse. You also said that there were more, more letters hidden in places the two of you shared fond memories. He finds them all quite quickly, his eyes watering as he looks over each one, lovingly written

'I love you,' these three words ended each letter, and in response, after reading each one. He would say "I miss you." Even hundreds of years after you are gone. ———

Lumine (Traveler)

Lumine couldnt feel anything. The only thing she could see is the blood, dripping from your gashes as you tried to stumble into Mondstadt. Presumably to the cathedral. She didnt care about the stains she couldnt care about anything as she ran with all her might, carrying you in her arms. She had sent Paimon go on ahead, to tell Barbara of your condition.

Right now, everything is dangerous. Anything could hurt you. It doesnt help that the blood loss has made you delirious, blurting out a sudden confession.

"shhh, save it for l-later."

its ironic, the words she wants to hear the most during a time she doesnt want to hear them. She tells you to hush, to save your strength for while Barbara heals you, knowing the Deaconess can only do so much. And yet you dont stop. You keep listing reasons why you have fallen for her. her determination, her skill, her voice, and her eyes. Oh how you love her eyes.

suddenly, before she realizes it, she has carried you halfway to the cathedral, and she can see Barbara rushing towards the two of you, fear clouding her ocean eyes. She begins to heal you, but she is being realistic. You have lost a lot of blood, the trail thick throughout the city of freedom. She tells Lumine there is a slim chance of survival, but she takes it. A slim chance is better than no chance at all. and she watches as the medics take you away, unaware that she was fighting them off until Paimon yelled at her to calm down. Before you are out of sight, she screams out. Desperately;

"I love you too! So... p-please survive so we can go on a date!"

your smile has a sense of finality that she despises, oh how she hates how youve accepted your fate. She wouldnt be able to accept your death. So how are you? After she has cleaned herself of the crimson staining her body, she makes her way to the cathedral, Paimon trailing behind, equally as worried. Its strange seeing the pixie so serious about something.

and the waiting game begins. Lumine was never patient, and this moment was no different. She was restless as she waits for an update on your condition.

when Barbara finally comes out, Lumine stands up, rushing over, seeking an answer.

the one she gets shakes her to her core. She has just lost another important person in her life. Barbara speaks up, her voice shaky. "They... they wanted you to have this..." your vision, lacking the beautiful glow that reminded her of your eyes. She didnt take it, despite you wanting her to have it, she couldnt. Seeing it broke her even more.

She's lost her brother, and now she's lost you. You've finally gone somewhere she cant follow And when she reaches for you again, you won't be there.

"w-we were supposed to go on a date..."

[whiskeyswifty]

hi kelsey baby!!! sorry if this is too gossipy for your interests in which case ignore me, but what's ur thoughts on the whole sabrina taylor olivia thing? like im thinking about how chummy taylor was with olivia (and by extension conan) and then how she suddenly seemed to have no relation in the slightest with her but suddenly know shes so chummy with gracie and sab... god i know this may sound parasocial but sometimes i want to be her friend just to get the tea haha

hmmmmm i thought about what i would say to this because it's not that it's gossipy, just that i don't really like wading into discoursy gossip that has a lot of morality tacked onto it by idiots who police when someone sneezes wrong.

i guess i'll say, if anything, you'd have to be willfully blind not to notice the shift, not even from a parasocial place, just how overnight the shift was. How olivia went from gushing about taylor at every opportunity to not mentioning her name at all like there is some sort of moratorium on it. however, i'm not inclined to sit here and analyze the minutiae of every word she says, not even tonally, because context in interviews can get lost and tone is not always properly conveyed in the written word, and can be edited around on video. so i can't, and won't, declare her intent or what her sentiments are towards taylor cuz idk her and everything i say is conjecture.

and as for taylor, she always flits from one rising star to the next in terms of publicly showering them with praise and lifting them up. not in a bad way or flakey way, just that she seems to enjoy encouraging the young women of the new class and also enjoys collaborating with new talent to inspire her creatively. public image-wise, its also very helpful lol, but i don't think she's fake about it, from what i can tell. she's done this for a decade now, and sometimes they might drift apart or sometimes a certain person inspires her more than another. it seems like she was merely a supporter from afar for olivia, and gracie and sab(rina) are more friends of hers, for example. (not for nothing, but gracie and sabrina are also in her ecosystem, working with aaron and jack respectively so i think that plays a part. are you a coworker in another department or a just peer, if you will) i also think her condoning, however inderectly, olivia and conan promo fearless tv is a bit..... idk that makes things sticky and builds a clear boundary that she hasn't set with the likes of gracie/phoebe/sabrina/etc. which is a fine boundary to set, but who tf knows what she saw in them that she didn't see in olivia. nothing nefarious going on i don't think, or any secret hatred i guess, from taylor's side insofar as i can tell objectively, that i can point to.

but yeah at the very least, something happened to cause this shift in focus for Olivia from taylor to.... not taylor lol. and there are a few smoking guns that are very glaring (Deja vu bridge, clara bow, etc) but nothing i can pull prints from, from where i sit at my computer. we don't know the order of events or even the involvement of certain people, or if what people have said is even true. at the base level of it all, with the crumbs of information that we have, it's perhaps a dont-meet-your-heroes situation. which sucks for olivia but idk if i would go so far as to say it casts taylor in a bad light. if anything, it can serve as an example of how distant fan/celebrity relationships have a tendency to always remain if they start that way. taylor was never truly her friend and olivia never really knew her through her music and stanning all those years. which again, if that's simply all it is, doesn't mean anyone is in the wrong. just a wakeup call that that is the true nature of all fan/celebrity relationships; the fan will always run into a glass door they cannot open, and they might get hurt if they don't realize it's there until it's too late. but even THAT assessment of the situation is still just my observation based opinion, so really, who the hell knows. i would LOVE to know though if i ever became taylor's friend, but tbh it's very low down on the list of things i'd ask her. it's ON the list though!

(also took me like five minutes to figure out who tf "sab" was like i was trying to figure out if it was an acronym or something lol. shows how often i think about sabrina carpenter, sorry to this girl. she keeps catching strays from me lol)

[amaryllisblackthorn]

MAJOR chain of thorns spoilers !!!

[[ negative thoughts under the readmore about a particularly topic ]]

i also cannot help but feel as though chain of gold did a better job at handling christopher's potential death when he was poisoned than chain of thorns did with christopher's actual death

like, yeah christopher died right when everyone didn't have time to afford to like properly mourn or grieve and they had to take action but like. still.

and i think part of it, for me at least, is that while we get bits of like, thomas grieving it's from an outside perspective and never iirc in his own point of view??? like, there's when he first finds out of course, and then you get i think cordelia remarking in her pov that thomas lost both his sister and basically brother in a year, and that he was the last of the merry thieves currently and he must be feeling so lonely etc but from what i recall we never get thomas' feelings and thoughts regarding these things when we're in his pov???? and yeah there are 'more important things' to focus on re: the watchers and stuff but it makes christopher's death feel empty and as a result unnecessary. it feels like the same story beats could have been accomplished by christopher being severely poisoned and like comatosed, while the adults are all unaccessible in Idris which worsen his odds or something. he's still taken out of commission and the stakes are still heightened.

maybe i would have taken his death better if he was immediately still or something after he's hit instead of i think lucie hearing him say afterwards,that he was fine, because iirc the actual moment he was hit came off as like significant and i thought he died but then it was like 'oh his shoulder's just hurt! he's just injured! dw we'll just be out of the way bc of his injury' and then it's like 'oh actually he's dead now'. i think that 'false hope' just made his sudden death feel kind of cheap to me, for lack of a better word, and contributed to his death feeling unnecessary. maybe his death would have felt at least a little bit 'better' to me if it wasn't for that, bc otherwise it came off less of a 'this is war and people die' situation and more of a 'he is dead simply for shock value' situation. like i get, in-universe, christopher saying he’s fine when he’s not but the way it played out, as a reader, was unsatisfying to me.

like, the doylist reason for his death is that one of the merry thieves had to die for ""realism"" sake but like. it shouldnt come off as that obviously being the reason when you're reading, you know? and at the very least it should be given the weight and respect it deserves ?? as it is it feels like christopher was killed off for shock value and bc 'well one of them has to die and christopher is the easiest one to get rid of' and everyone's like 'oh no! well we can't dwell on that rn' and then they just never dwell on it, and it just makes his death feel empty and unnecessary and it has me feeling sour ngl

and maybe im an unrealistic idealist who feels like none of the main kids had to die! but if they did i’d imagine their death having more weight and presence in the story after it’s happened !

like, i feel if it was matthew who died, there'd've been more dedicated to it. granted, he's james' parabatai . but still. i feel like if even thomas had died, there still would've been more.

thomas and christopher had such a close bond that we got to see in the other two books and the lack of thomas' feelings from his own perspective just feels wrong. i dont care if theyre shadowhunters and needed to focus on battle and the bigger picture. and i know that thomas especially tries to cope with grief by action. and maybe it's supposed to signify everyone's maturity in this book with their reactions vs back in chain of gold. but it still comes off as significantly unsatisfying. imo.

outside of the scene where thomas finds christopher is dead, and outside the brief moments of anna coming off as reckless/wanting to fight the watchers in anger bc of kit, a lot of the christopher grief came off sort of like ‘telling not showing’ if that makes sense??? 

not to mention that i like personally really dislike when a character survives something where death was like a legit real possibility to then just die later on, especially when it comes off as just killing someone for shock value and/or to signify that ““things are serious now””. you can claim that their surviving is 'false security' and spin it as subversion or whatever but. i just dont like it. i never like it, whether it's in book series or tv shows, except i guess cases where it's just done well and makes sense and is thematically satisfying. so like, christopher dying after being poisoned and in danger of dying back in chain of gold and surviving also has me feel dissatisfied. especially because his death came off as “well someone had to die” and the aftermath of it was so neglected and it just felt so unnecessary and im just really sour about it.

a lot of this is ramble-y and all over the place and i dont even know if i got out all that i wanted to in regards to my feelings and thoughts about the topic but. yeah.

[thewitcheslibrary]

Reasons a spell wont work

Self-doubt: Doubting oneself weakens the power of your purpose or sends forth competing intents, reducing the efficiency of your spell. If you anticipate it not to function, you are instructing it not to work, which means it will not.

Weak intention: It takes work to completely concentrate your desire in a spell and send it out into the cosmos. The more power you feel, the more power you possess. It's not always simple to reach to the point where you truly believe the entire world is at your feet and under your command, and you'll receive what you desire. It only takes practice.

Botched intention: You must know what you truly want, not what you believe you desire. If your goal is not very explicit, your spell may manifest in an awkward way. You want to obtain money quickly? Probably not through insurance money after being hit by an automobile.

Unrealistic intention: In most circumstances, for a spell to work, the desired outcome must be possible without the use of magic. Magic simply increases the likelihood of achieving the desired outcome by tipping the scales in your favour, and it always picks the route of least resistance. For example, a spell to find something you just lost is considerably more likely to be effective than one to discover something you lost a year ago. The latter could work, but it requires far more energy, effort, and interference to appear. If the objective is unrealistic, it may not be worth the work required to achieve it. You must do everything possible to let the magic follow the path of least resistance; for example, if you cast a spell to achieve your ideal job, you must first apply for the position.

Lack of specificity: If you cast a spell to attract a lover and you just say 'someone with blonde hair and blue eyes' thats what you'll get looks wise. But you havent specified a personality, so you could really get anything. Then you have the chance of starting a toxic relationship.

Missing ingredients: If the spell said that it needed basil and you dont add basil. Then it might not work. Some spells are made to be done in a very specific way, then not adding ingredients is just setting the spell up for failure.

You did not give your spell adequate time to work.: not all spells work instantly, some take weeks, months or days to work. Sometimes even years, you need to be patient sometimes You have no idea what you're doing: which means you don't know what time of day, moon phase, or plants to utilise for your spell. You must learn before you can accomplish anything.

You're not helping or putting mundane work into the spell: Magic is intended to be utilised as a supplement to ordinary effort, not as a replacement for it. How can you expect to get results from your weight loss spell if you don't exercise? whats the point of doing a spell to find a job but not applying for jobs?

Lack of focus/concentration and unclear intention: Whether you write petitions or recite incantations, properly declaring your objective is the most vital aspect of any spell or ceremony. Try to be descriptive enough to get your desired effects. You should also find out what helps you focus during spell work; being distracted by everything will be your worst energy. If you need to double-check a herb meaning for the spell, that's acceptable, but pausing to do other things or simply forgetting is where the spell will fail.

The spell worked: you simply didn't realise it. There is a slim chance that someone has cursed you in order to prevent you from using magic: However, and I cannot emphasise this enough, this is extremely unusual. If you were cursed, you would know it, or at least be aware that something was seriously wrong in your life.

Tip me

[ibijau]

How about one where Huaisang accidentally ascended (as in HOB) and Nmj and Lxc have no idea that their Sang-di's a baby god? He can't interfere with anything in the mortal realm, which is why he's always running from martial practice and saying 'i dont know' instead of giving straight answers. He's much more commonly known among the common people than cultivators (god of something simple but sweet?), and Meng Yao is the first to suspect (Can be extended to eventual XiSang where LXC...worships).

Well it only took me like four months to fill this prompt, and then when I finally did I basically ditched everything your suggested except for the “nhs accidentally ascended” part but... hey, if you’re still around after this much time, enjoy??

When Nie Mingjue is twenty and finally given full reign of his sect, there's a huge storm that nearly blows off all the roofs of the Unclean Realm. It is everything he doesn't need, but honestly everything these last three years has been everything he didn't need, starting with his father's death. In the morning, when the storm calms down, he assesses the damage, organises for those wounded by debris to be taken care of, sends disciples in Qinghe and the closest villages to see if they need help.

It isn't a surprise when he learns that the storm only struck the Unclean Realm. There was a taste in the air that did not feel natural.

Hearing this only worsens Nie Mingjue's other concerns. Namely, the disappearance of his prodigy of a little brother. Nobody has seen Nie Huaisang since the storm. His room appears to have been devastated by the winds, everything thrown upside down. His wing of the main residence is the one that has suffered the most damages, the roof apparently blown open.

Initially, Nie Mingjue did not particularly worry. Since the storm was unnatural, it wouldn't be strange for Nie Huaisang to have noticed it and gone after the source of it. It's reckless, and he'll get scolded for it, but it can't be helped. Nie Huaisang cannot see a wrong without wanting to right it. Yet as the hours pass, and then the days, Nie Mingjue gets more and more anxious. Just like the storm that hit them so hard, nobody around has Nie Huaisang. He has simply vanished. Search parties are sent everywhere, inquiries are made to allied clans.

Nothing.

Not a trace.

After a month, Nie Mingjue is starting to consider checking with Qishan Wen when one afternoon, Nie Huaisang simply passes the gate of the Unclean Realm.

Nie Mingjue hugs him and scolds him and demands an explanation, but none comes.

“I got lost,” Nie Huaisang laughs. “I didn't realise so much time had passed. It felt shorter, or I'd have come home sooner, I swear!”

“But where were you?”

“Somewhere I shouldn't have been,” Nie Huaisang evasively replies. “I'm home now. That's what matters.”

It's all Nie Mingjue can get from him. Considering his brother's taste for secrets, he should have expected it.

“Don't do that again,” he orders, before letting the matter drop.

-

Nie Huaisang doesn't train anymore after the storm. At first, he says his long wandering exhausted him. Then he pretends he wants to focus on his calligraphy, on painting, on just anything but martial arts.

Nie Mingjue lets it slide at first. He's long given up on making sense of his brother, and Nie Huaisang has always been a little too wise for his age. Whatever he does, he does for a reason. But as weeks pass and his brother doesn't return to the training grounds, Nie Mingjue has no choice but to corner him about it.

“I don't like it anymore,” Nie Huaisang says. “It's boring.”

“I'm told you also don't meditate. Is that boring as well?”

Nie Huaisang nods firmly.

“What's the point? I now we do this to reach immortality, and maybe even to ascend but... I've given it a lot of thought lately. I don't think it'd be much fun, being a god.”

“What are you even talking about? You... Huaisang, you're good but you're fourteen, it's not like there's any risk of you ascending!”

Nie Huaisang laughs and laughs and laughs.

“Right? I am just fourteen, it'd be so stupid! Still, better not take the risk.”

“Huaisang! Enough now!”

Nie Huaisang pouts, and whines, and gets dragged to the training grounds anyway, where he performs with a mediocrity that he's never shown before. He can't even hold his damn sabre properly, drops it several time. Nie Mingjue is too stunned to even think of punishing him.

Stunned and worried.

This simply isn't like his brother.

-

With help from the elders and some healers, a number of tests are conducted on Nie Huaisang. He is not possessed. He mind is not altered. He hasn't been cursed. His cultivation hasn't been damaged. If anything, it might have risen higher than last time they checked for it.

“Then what's wrong with him?” Nie Mingjue asks.

The elders look at one another, unsure what to say.

“Teenage rebellion?” one of them suggests.

“Gods. That'd be worse than a curse,” Nie Mingjue sighs. “How do we fix that?”

-

Every few weeks, Nie Mingjue gets letters from the Cloud Recesses. Lan Qiren is at his wit's end with Nie Huaisang, because there's no way a boy this clever can fail so consistently. He thinks it's done on purpose. Nie Mingjue, after being shown some of his brother's tests, can only agree.

This, too, makes no sense. Nie Huaisang is competitive to a fault and cannot stand it if anyone is better than him at something. In the company of people as famously brilliant as Lan Wangji, Jiang Wanyin, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian, Nie Huaisang should be thriving and fighting for top position.

Instead, he has taken to drinking and looking at porn.

He still passes his exams, with the best grade of his class.

When asked about it, he just says he didn't feel like going back because the food is really too awful and he missed home.

-

After that year in Gusu, Nie Mingjue gives up on getting his brother back to normal. This is just who Nie Huaisang is now apparently. Gone is the martial prodigy, all Nie Mingjue has now is a bumbling fool who cares for nothing but fans and birds.

Especially birds.

Frequently, Nie Huaisang disappears for days on hand to go birdwatching. That alone is frustrating, since he rarely bothers to say where he's going or for how long. But then, he also systematically leaves his sabre behind, and refuses to take an escort with him, arguing everyone is too loud and will scare away his feathery targets.

Nie Mingjue gives orders that his brother isn't to be allowed outside of the Unclean Realm on his own. Nie Huaisang still manages to get out whenever he damn pleases and laughs it off when his brother gets concerned that there are secret passages in the Unclean Realm.

“An enemy could use that to get inside and slaughter us without warning!” Nie Mingjue points out.

“No, that's not going to happen,” Nie Huaisang replies with a knowing smile. “Nobody can get in. The Unclean Realm will never fall.”

“You don't know that!”

Nie Huaisang laughs.

Nie Mingjue never gets him to reveal how he leaves the Unclean Realm.

-

When the Wens come to the Unclean Realm and demand that Nie Mingjue put his little brother in their hands, he refuses. If they want a war, he's ready to give it to them, even if the rest of the cultivation world would rather grovel at their feet than stand for themselves.

His brother has other ideas. Nie Mingjue finds a note announcing that Nie Huaisang has decided to offer himself as hostage, because he fears they are not ready yet for a war.

Nie Mingjue could kill him for that betrayal.

He knows the Wen might beat him to it.

-

As soon as Nie Huaisang makes it home with a bunch of desperate but unharmed kids from a number of other sects, Nie Mingjue announces that he's sending him to Gusu.

“No, my place is in the Unclean Realm!” Nie Huaisang protests. “I belong here. I know it now, I know this for sure, I have to be here.”

“Are you going to fight at my side then?” Nie Mingjue counters. “Are you going to pick up your sabre at last and help me?”

“I can help without a sabre. Mingjue, don't send me away. I want to be here. This is my home, I need to be here.”

“It's the sabre or Gusu.”

Nie Huaisang whines and pouts and begs and complains and even threatens, to no avail. Nie Mingjue will not bulge from the choice he's giving him.

Without surprise, Nie Huaisang chooses Gusu.

Nie Mingjue wishes it didn't disappoint him.

-

The war is bloody and harsh and it should be hopeless, but it is not.

Several times, they snatch a victory at the last moment through sheer luck. Hope, that most precious of commodities at such a time, never leaves them. Rumours start to circulate among the disciples of those sect who chose to stand against Qishan Wen, although it is many weeks before they reach Nie Mingjue, who never paid much attention to gossip.

In the end, it is Lan Xichen who tells him about it, seemingly rather amused by the stories about...

“A young man wearing a mask who sometimes appears when the situation is desperate,” he explains. “He carries no weapon, but he has a magical fan that he uses when fighting. He is rarely seen in battle, but several people who had been taken prisoner claim that he came down from the heavens to free them before they could be tortured or killed.”

“A rogue cultivator?”

Lan Xichen smiles, but shakes his head.

“A god, apparently.”

Nie Mingjue snorts. Gods don't mess with the affairs of mortals.

“Don't dismiss it so easily,” Lan Xichen scolds him. “I can name more than one sect that decided to join us after hearing about the Faceless God on our side.”

“They even gave him a title?”

“They had to, he never gave his name.”

It's a ridiculous rumour, and it can't be anything more. On a rare letter sent to his brother in Gusu, Nie Mingjue mentions it, guessing that this is the sort of things that might amuse him. He used to like stories of gods and immortals, before he became someone Nie Mingjue doesn't know anymore.

-

It's just a rumour, but even within his own ranks, Nie Mingjue catches a few people praying to the Faceless God on the eve of battle.

He doesn't dissuade them. With the war dragging on and the Wens still so strong in number, people need something to hold on.

Nie Mingjue puts all his faith in his own strength and that of the people he trusts, but he understands that not everybody can be satisfied with this.

-

And then he meets the Faceless God.

-

A young man wearing a mask, Lan Xichen had described him, but all Nie Mingjue sees is a boy in disguise, trying to appear taller and larger than he is.

He carries no weapon, and Nie Mingjue understands why when he sees the fan in the Faceless God's hand. It is one he has seen too many times in the last few years. He wonders if the boy who holds it assumed nobody would recognise it as easily as they might know his sabre.

He rarely joins in battle, but he comes for those who have been captured, like Nie Mingjue dragged before Wen Ruohan, humiliated by Meng Yao who he once trusted above all others.

Both Meng Yao and the Faceless God strike Wen Ruohan at the same time.

Both Meng Yao and the Faceless God cower in fear before Nie Mingjue when he rises to his feet.

Meng Yao kneels before him and swears he was always on their side.

The Faceless God runs away.

It doesn't matter.

Nie Mingjue knows where to find him.

-

It is a while before Nie Mingjue recuperates enough from his injuries to return home. When he finally does, Nie Huaisang is waiting at the gate for him, an uncertain smile on his face and a fan in his hand. Nie Mingjue hugs him and asks for news of the reconstruction in Gusu, unsurprised when the answers remain evasive.

He waits until they are alone in his room to ask the question that really matters.

“It was that storm, wasn't it?”

Nie Huaisang freezes in the act of pouring tea, looking like a rabbit who spotted a hawk. Slowly, hesitantly, he nods.

“If you ascended, why are you here?”

“This is home,” Nie Huaisang simply says. Then, when his brother frowns, he adds: “I never expected to ascend, and when it happened, I realised I didn't want to. They gave me all those rules to follow, they told me I couldn't see you again, couldn't go home again and that was... I belong here. I belong in the Unclean Realm. Maybe when you're gone I'll feel differently, but for now this is home and I'm not going anywhere. The Heavenly Emperor himself could order me to leave and I wouldn't. Which is exactly what I told him before I came back here.”

“You rebelled against the Heavenly Emperor.”

Nie Huaisang nods.

“You're an idiot.”

“I was fourteen!” Nie Huaisang protests. “I should never have ascended! I wasn't prepared for it! I'm still not prepared for it. I don't care about their rules, I don't care about emperors and gods and anything else. But I care about my home, and I care about my people, and I care about what's right.”

Nie Mingjue sighs. This is so wrong, on so many levels. There are reasons why gods don't meddle with mortal affairs, why they stay in their own domain most of the time. This is wrong and it'll bring trouble down the line, he's sure of it, but... but suddenly, so much makes sense, and he's proud of Nie Huaisang.

“I'm not calling you 'Highness',” he warns.

“I sure hope not. I'm still your didi, now and always.”

Nie Mingjue smiles, and pulls his heavenly brother into a tight hug. Everything else is going to be different, but this bond between us will never change, he's certain of that.

[detonizing]

headcanon.

50 headcanon challenge prompted by @bnharpchub​ bc so many people were doing it on dash and my restraint is only so strong 

coming up with 50 new headcanons was so difficult jfc AWOEINAWE i cheated a bit and some of them mention hcs I already wrote about before, but I did my best to focus on a different part of it to give it a new spin so it’s technically new....ish. awoieNAWEIAWNE

he learned how to cook because his parents were always busy and he wasn’t going to just expect them to cook for him when he could just do it himself ( he learned a whole LOT of things because he realized he could just do it himself )

he doesn’t usually keep things for sentiment reasons. there ARE a few exceptions, but for the most part if it’s important enough to remember he’ll just simply remember it 

he likes the view from up high. mountain climbing really made him aware of that, and it was a part of the reason why he wanted to learn how to fly ( that, and just the fact of it being practical, using his quirk to enhance movement ) 

sometimes puts on a clear coat of nail strengthening polish during weeks of particular harsh training. he would put on coloured polish too, but they often get ruined very quickly because of how much he uses his hands and so he doesn’t see the point to do it often 

his sweat isn’t actually toxic ( mostly bc I do NOT want to deal with all the problems having toxic sweat would cause, but there is more to it that I’ll write in depth of another day when I’m less lazy ) 

His volume is one of the few ways he feels like he can be heard. His mother is also a very loud person, and growing up he would be stuck in situations where if he doesn’t yell LOUDER, he won’t be heard. If he is WILLINGLY quiet around you, that is a sign of trust, a sign that he’s comfortable enough to not feel the need to be loud. 

he cannot stand his mouth being covered, nor does he take well to being told to keep quiet. He GETS that not many people appreciate his loudness. He KNOWS there is always time and place. But being loud is a defensive mechanism, and it being taken away against his will just messes with him a lot. 

speaking of, a large part of why he got the ‘i dont give a fuck about anyone else’ attitude is because no one would really care about him. It wasn’t just because he had a big head. He was acutely aware that people around him would praise him and rise him up, but never actually listen to him or cared what he wants. Why should he care about other people if no one gave a fuck about him? ( he knows better now )

he’s cautious about giving villains second chances. it’s not like he’s against giving villains a chance at redemption ( he knows he’d be a fucking hypocrite if he was ) but he also is realistic, and knows that some people are just shitheads and will refuse to change no matter what. knows that some people will take advantage of people with bleeding hearts ( cOUGHS like dEKU’s COUGHS ) and so he’s just. very wary and distrusting. he’ll give you a chance, but he’s going to watch you during it. 

if the ranking system of heroes gets abolished, it won’t really affect Katsuki’s goals. from the start when he says ‘number one hero’ what he cares most about is being number one by HIS standards. ofc he was planning to get ranked number one too, but if such a system falls apart, he’d just make sure he becomes the Best till no one can argue against it either way 

katsuki has always used his quirk often. he hates rules regulating quirk use because it’s so stupid to him. how the hell was he going to become number one if he didn’t know how to use his own damn quirk? ofc he still tried to abide by the law well enough, in public refraining for the most part ( but his middle school very obviously was super lacking in discipline so he just didn’t bother hiding his usage of quirk there )

his quirk acts up when he has high emotion — but MOST of the time, that is less him losing control and more of a conscious decision on his part. resisting the urge to explode when his body is aching to is dangerous, so it’s better to let loose small, controlled, explosions when the time comes. He works hard to keep control of his quirk, he knows when it’s best to just let explosions loose and when he can hold it in

even without explosions he has a habit of his fingers twisting or fist clenching when he’s high strung. restricting his hands in any way, esp during these times, are an absolute no for him. he WILL react violently if you take away his only method of physically defending himself. 

the reason why he NEEDS to be able to defend himself at all times comes from his lack of trust. He doesn’t WANT to rely on other people, because they could mess up so it’s just better to do it himself. so if people try and stop him from doing it himself.... just nope. 

he’s so so so SO bad at accepting compliments. he’s used to empty meaningless compliments, praise for things he didn’t even earn, so getting actual compliments that are WORTH something. it’s. a lot. he doesn’t know how to properly handle it yet so his first reaction is to reject it somehow ( either by telling the person they are being an idiot, or finding fault in the compliment itself, or something along those lines ) 

he has a base respect for pro heroes in general, because he understands that they have experience he is obviously lacking being a student. but he won’t be blinded by their status. if they fuck up, they fuck up and no ‘hero’ status will keep him from recognizing that 

he doesn’t actually hate quirkless people. he never really has. he had a problem with DEKU, but not exactly quirkless people in general. he started calling Izuku as “Deku” before he knew that he would never get a quirk. He called him ‘deku’ because izuku would fail at bouncing a ball or skipping stones and such ( back then, almost ALL people were ‘useless’ to him, not just quirkless people aoweinaoweianwe ) 

he as sharp teeth. not enough to be called fangs or anything, but they are definitely sharper than average ( he’s a little gremlin so I must give him sharp teeth ) 

he’s still struggling to ask for help. he can easily admit that he needs backup when it comes to hero works — knows that teamwork is essential at times and saving and BEING saved in turn is how being a hero is. BUT for PERSONAL things? Outside of being a hero? As a person??? He doesn’t know HOW to ask for help with that. 

He’s ALWAYS been super independent. so people just. expect him to be fine on his own. HE himself expected to be fine on his own. But by the time he realized wait no, I’m not fine. People stopped trying to check up on him. ( until U.A., but then old habits die hard. but he’s learning ) 

he tends to shower at night more than in the mornings, because he often works out not too long before bed. he also just takes more than one shower a day if needed ofc he takes hygiene seriously

he HATES when he can’t get a full night’s sleep. And sadly ever since getting kidnapped it’s been happening more and more often. he’s unused to functioning without a full eight or nine hours, so he gets cranky all day and feels fucking awful. He used to hate naps, felt like a waste of his day, but they’ve become a bit of a necessity with how shit his sleeping pattern has become. ( plus jordyn’s shoto has shown him the wonders of napping aowienawe ) 

he doesn’t take long to get ready in the morning. even if he needs to dress differently for an occasion or anything, he doesn’t spend long trying to decide what to wear

his quirk isn’t affected by rain or water like people would expect, but it’s fucking COLD so he still hates getting wet

he’s really good at fighting even without his quirk. he absolutely has thought of situations where he couldn’t use his quirk to full capacity, and so he decided he needed to kick ass even without it

he’s really level-headed in battle!!! despite how he acts, he ALWAYS considers all options and acts on the best one. He just thinks really fast and acts the way he does so it SEEMS like he’s charging in without thinking ahead. That being said, he used to often underestimate his opponents so he’d sometimes make the wrong call. He’s getting MUCH better at not doing that lately tho

he doesn’t really celebrate his own birthday. he gets well wishes from his family, often they’d get a cake maybe, but he doesn’t really WANT or NEED presents, so he had his parents stop trying to gift him things years ago. His birthday is SUPER close to the beginning of the year, so it is often times overlooked by his peers too, but he doesn’t care

Katsuki is demisexual!! He can recognize when people are traditionally attractive, but he doesn’t really fucking care and isn’t attracted TO them. It’s only once they’ve become someone he actually CARES about could he then develop any feelings beyond platonic ones ( no love at first sight here )

he’d NEVER pick up smoking, and even when of age he’d very rarely drink. He wouldn’t want his health to deteriorate by stuff like that. And he wouldn’t want his ability to think be hindered by alcohol

he doesn’t like lying unless for good reason ( like hiding ofa ) but he doesn’t see lying by omission as the same. To him, that’s just him deciding it’s no one’s business and so there’s no need for him to admit to anything

people have tried to bully him as a kid. we’ve seen him chase off older kids in canon before. It wasn’t just a one time thing. It was pretty constant, actually. Other kids, usually those older than him, would hear about him and his attitude and try and ‘put him in his place’ It’s not like he was very popular as a kid, it’s just that Katsuki always WON any fights so no one could actually do anything to him

his nicknames, for the most part, aren’t actually meant to be insulting. Besides like Deku, and when he called Todoroki “holding back bastard”, the rest are just,,, descriptions in his mind aowienAWE ThEY ARE RUDE AF but he doesn’t actually seek out the rudest name he can think of to call people. It’s just whatever comes to mind first

he doesn’t actually mind when people call him out on his shit anymore. he’d in fact admit that they have guts to do so. If they try and call him out on BULLSHIT though, then he’d get angry bc they are just wasting his goddamn time. 

he KNOWS when his classmates are purposefully manipulating him to doing something by phrasing it as a challenge. It’s just he doesn’t give a shit, he’ll rise to the challenge anyways and prove them all WRONG. 

If he really doesn’t wanna do something, there’s absolutely nothing that could get him to do it 

his way of SHOWING that he cares is through actions and gifts. Doing things for people ( studying, cooking, etc ) that he cares about comes naturally to him

On the contrary, he struggles to process it when people try and show that they care the same way. He doesn’t like getting gifts, and he rather do the things he needs to himself??? The easiest way he can understand people showing that they care is through quality time. If you are willing to spend time with him, seek him out? He can get that means you WANT to. ( if this is proven wrong it’d shake his entire acceptance in that person. he’d struggle to believe that they care for him at all in any way after ) 

once you broke his trust, it’s impossible to gain it back. he DOESNT trust easily. he takes so many careful measures to prevent himself from trusting the wrong person. if he gave you his trust you better fucking treasure it, because it’s only given out once. That being said, there are different levels of trust that katsuki gives out — as seen on his relationship page. Level two trust is when it starts getting serious. If you have that, that’s when if broken it’s unfixable. Level one trust is a toss up if broken, very dependent on situation

soft smiles are hard to come by from katsuki! We’ve all seen his confident grins in the face of danger all the time — he smiles a lot during challenges and battle!! But soft ones? Full of fondness and love? They are pretty rare. And even when they DO happen, often it’s only when no one can see

His EYES are actually what turns soft first!! You have a better chance catching his eyes and eyebrows turn a bit less aggressive, but again they aren’t exactly common per say. He doesn’t like showing such expression unless he feels like attention is off him. ( he just. isn’t USED to expressing himself this way. so he doesn’t really like when people draw attention to when he does. because it makes him feel like he did something wrong, in a way )

it’s actually easy to make katsuki flustered and embarrassed. he’S not uSED to it so he’s weak let him live aowieNAWE his ears are the first to turn red!!! but if you really get him embarrassed he does go completely red sorry kats

he does all of his homework well in advance. he hates leaving ANYTHING to the last minute, really

he’s done modeling work as a kid. sometimes he still does, but very rarely. He doesn’t exactly hate doing it, but he just isn’t the least bit interested so he rather spend his time doing something else. When he does do it, you bet he takes it 100% seriously.

he won’t argue if someone calls him a shit person. he knows that he is, and he refuses to deny that. what DOES piss him off though is when people solely focus on how shit of a person he is to the extend of disregarding the perfect results he gives. He’s a shit person, but he’s still the BEST and fuck anyone who says otherwise.

he also knows that he is changing, because it’s a conscious effort on his part TO change. But that’s also the thing. He’s working hard to not be shitty ALL the time, but that doesn’t change the fact that at his core, he’s still not a NICE person. he’s acutely aware that the things he struggles so much with, comes so easy to other people. He wont let this STOP him , he’s never called it quits before just because something was difficult for him, but it still sucks. knowing just how much effort he’s putting into this when some people barely think about it at all

katsuki was well versed in medical knowledge even before U.A. Not because he was thinking about how heroes may need to give emergency care on the field, but just from his own injuries during self training. he needed to know how to treat them properly so it doesn’t cause him problems in the future 

katsuki runs hot, but he gets cold easily. Because he’s used to keeping himself running at high temperatures, his concept of cold is different than most other’s. Suddenly being in like sixty five degrees Fahrenheit feels COLD to him

intended use for furniture are only suggestions. That means yes, he WILL sit on top of desks and counters, stand on top of chairs, and put his feet on the bed while he lays on the floor if he so goddamn chooses. 

no matter how close with a person he is, he’ll eventually need time alone and his personal space left untouched. It takes a lot to get to the point where physical touch is something he’d allow, ( having both touch starvation and touch aversion in equal parts ) but even with people he is completely comfortable with, sometimes it still gets to be TOO mUCH and he needs to step back. he has bad days, too. where just a brush of contact would set him off and he can’t understand himself why it happens. all he knows is that he really hates those days.

it still stings, the knowledge that All Might never even considered him for a possible successor. he was RIGHT THERE when all might picked izuku, after all. and all might can say all he wants about how ‘he was already powerful, he wanted to give midoriya a fighting chance’ or whatever. he knows he was never a contender. it’s not that he WANTS ofa though. he is perfectly happy with his quirk. It’s not even that it’s deku who ended up getting it, he in retrospect is glad deku can fight him now. It’s just. in the end, he’s always always lacking something. it just fuels to his belief of never being good enough when it counts. because HE is NEVER anyone’s first choice to be the up and coming number one. He’s GOING to be. He’ll prove EVERYONE wrong. But, it sure would be nice. Someone else believing in him, too.

[10boys]

MLQC:Kissing/make-out

♡ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

*how they like their mouth action

Victor Kissing:

-Victor doesnt do “small pecks”, if your lips are on his he simply cannot just take a “peck”

-Even short kisses are deep and invading, his lips know exactly how to manipulate against yours

-He’ll kiss you where and when he wants and only where and when he wants

-He of course won’t oblige to a request from you

-But you rarely want to give him that satisfaction, he knows if he teases you with almost kisses you’ll start to whine which is what he wants

-His urge usually arises from admiring your face (canon bc of like...all his cards lol), the sunlight hits your eyes perfectly making them a glistening shade lighter, a sunkissed glow making your features appear softer. Your bright eyes accompanied by your long lashes shoot his way , catching him in his trance. He grins as a small blush creeps to his cheeks , knowing he’s seemingly been caught.

-Your tongue quickly made a lap over your lips, drawing his attention downward. Before you had time to wittily joke on him like he does you, his lips are pressed to yours.

-His kisses are deep. they’re possessive. they’re full of all the words he doesn’t say and all emotions he doesn’t show

-Saucy victor loves making you stick your tongue out so he can slowly lick and suck it ;)

-He doesnt think much about it, he just goes in.

- Favorite place to kiss is your lips and ear. He lovesss when you hug him with your head snuggled in his chest, it makes it easy for him nuzzle into your hair and leave small kisses and nibs on ur ear tips

-Loves being kissed on his chest (as tall as you can reach) and back on his shoulder mussels

-Keeps his hand in your hair for his comfort

-Definitely holds your jaw while he sucks

Lucien:

-Lucien loves to give you surprise kisses!

-You two are having one of your guys’ usual library dates

-You’ve been aimlessly wondering through the shelves for a while, collecting interesting finds as you go. After retrieving around 3 or 4 books you venture back to find lucien whos proudly holding down the fort (your guys’ fav spot)

-He leans aginst his seat leasurly holding a wide book infront of him, covering his face from view

-You set down your books and pull out the seat near him, beginning to pry the book away from his face

-“ You can’t see that badly? Did you bring your gla-“

-Suddenly he tugged your face closer to share his behind the book, creating a sensual secret space only occupied by the two of you

-His lavender eyes shares hypnotizing relaxation through with you, his soft smile sent your cheeks a blaze after realizing how near they were to your own. He took a moment sending suductive messages with his eyes, always so full of passion and interest. You watched his delicate eye lashes lower as his lips puckered.

-You instinctively copy his actions, closing the gap.

-Luciens favorite place to kiss is either your fingers or peppered kisses across your face

-Opposite of Victor, sultry lucien likes sticking his tongue out for you to lick and suck ;)

-He’s not afraid of pda, loves leaving kissing on your neck and ears when queued up for a new restaurant or in the line to get coffee

-He loves to build the moment up for your kisses too, sometimes he’ll just stare at your lips bluntly while caressing your face. Being under this intense analyzation brings heat to your cheeks as you try not to grin bashfully, he can’t help to lick his lips, you can only imagine what he’s thinking...

Gavin:

-Gavin gives u uwu kisses

-Usually kisses you when he thinks you’re doing something cute to hide his blushing face

-So yeah you get alottt of kisses

-Its usually a “grabs your whole face and mushes his agaisnt yours” type kiss. Butterfly kisses mixed with full-face

-Loves kissing your hand cause it makes him feel like your gentleman

-Loves getting kisses on his forhead and scars

-Sultry gavin loves getting kisses on his chest and nipples ;)

-He also likes to suck fingers ;)

- You were on your bed taking some last-minute notes off your laptop. Gavins head would usually be laying on your thigh at times like this, making it a bit difficult to focus and write

-Which is exactly why he’s across the room on the couch watching TV until you’re finished. He likes looking through the silly things you watch on Hulu and Youtube. You turn your head and catch a glimps of him, body leasurly laid across your sofa with one airm raised to support his head. The odd position causes his shirt to lift, showing his extremely toned V line.

-The view causes you to bite your lip as a malicious thought arises

-“Wahh~ Officer Gavin~ theirs a bug ~ come kill it ~ save me ~”

-He rolls from his previous position on the couch to foot of your bed.

-“Where? I dont see it”

-“Right there!!” you excitedly point to a corner across you, seemingly containing nothing

-He turns inspecting the area, beginning to confront you about its location

-“It just went under that box !! ewww get it”

-You watch as he bends over, searching between and under for said “spider” , but all you’re seatching for is the heart to stop him

-His shirt swings sways and rises as he bends and straightens out, his muscles tighten everytime he reaches while his thighs thicken with every squat

-“Baby im really not seeing it-” he begins before catching you in the middle of your daze. Your eyes are fixed on him but not his face, nor the so-called spider he was looking for

“You think you’re funny” he replies with a smile as he makes his way to the bed crawling on from the foot

-You playfully tease and squeeze his face, admiring his obedience

-He cups his hand over yours, eyes dazzling over a tinge of pink as you two share this loving and intimate moment. You poke a few silly kissy faces making him laugh, inching closer to close the gap. Your smiling faces press against each other, happiness is all you are with him.

Kiro:

-Wants the most kisses

-Or more properly, verbally and physically requests them the most

-Wake up kiss , good night kiss, ily kiss, you’re cute kiss, thank you kiss, I’ve just been stairing at you for 5 minutes kiss, convincing you not to leave kiss, jealous kiss, and many more

-He doesnt necessarily build up a moment every time either

-Ofc he stares lovingly into ur eyes with a sweet grin and blushy cheeks before he dives in intimately

-But most the time he just dives in wheneverr, He likes seeing you suprised and blushy over him. While you’re preparing a meal or finishing documents he’ll just run up to plant one on u, accompanied by a super hero kiro squeeze

-Loves to give cheek and face-mush kisses

-Loves to receive lip, face and eye kisses

-Loves kisses down his spine, when your attention is on him

-Honestly, sultry kiro will kiss and suck along the way to any and every area

-Give him a surprise lip kiss to unlock ‘weird’ kiro

-You sat across him watching as the food 10x bigger than his mouth goes down with ease, goku is that you?

-It seems he’s caught onto your intrigue, his bubbly blue eyes meet yours as a cheeky grin appears

-“Mmm this is so good! Here, try some!” He extends a cream puff twords you encouraging a bite

-You lower his hand as a respectable “no thank you” guesture, his half aten puff sadly falls back go the plate

-Although he’s easily the cutest boy in the world with squirrel stuffed cheeks, his messy left over just didn’t seem apatizing enough

-You reach out for a fresh puff and get swatted away just as quickly , you raise your gaze to kiros brows in a mighty furrow

-“And what was wrong with my puff?!?!” he exclaims pretending to be overwhelmed with offense. You giggle at his child-like energy and pettyness as you use the swatted hand to squeeze his puff-full cheeks.

-“Nothings wrong ! You were just enjoying them so well i wanted my own” you lie. He’s cute, but he’s no fool. His eyes pour into you, somehow letting you know he’s not biting that foney excuse. He smiles to himself although a lightbulb went off that only shined on him.

-“Of course not chip princess! Whats mine-” he begins placing a puff in his mouth

-“Is yours”. He closes his eyes and leans across the table, his lips wet and pink around the pale colored puff are inviting. His eyelashes cast a soft shadow on his cheeks , which seem to always have the slightest ting of pink when infront of you. His blonde locks shine like diamonds in the corner of the dimely-lit restaurant , you swear there are no circumstances that could make this man anything but beautiful.

-His eyes open, wet and dark as he pleads silently for you to finish the minastration. He knows how to charm you , and his cute ass is making it work, but not this time.

-You lean over the table taking the puff from his mouth, swiflty replacing it with a bold, blunt, but gentle kiss.

-A faint noise escapes his mouth at the sudden gesture, his now wide eyes find yours only inches away. The tips of his ears blush red before he pulls away.

“You’re bold miss chips ! If you thought i tasted better, why didn’t you just say so?”

.....x

Hi its been so long i missed writing :,) I have more shorter blurbs in the drafts so i should have more out soon !! Also requests are open ! Ty - myk

[sentofighta]

[[ i have to just rant a little bit about machina’s lcie incognito time. my memories of the game are foggy since it has been a while since i played it but let me go with what i remember, hopefully haha. sorry in advance if this is jumbled, im just writing things which comes to my mind. when i find proper time to replay and catch up on some readings here and there, i will do a better one sobs.

but yes. machina’s personality started to shift to the worse after attaining the byakko lcie focus. i think it has to do with the crystal (aka cid?) talking to him, urging him to fulfil his focus. i find it now amusing that he could have been the perfect spy to take the vermilion bird’s crystal, or at least snoop around to find where it is for the white tiger to come and sweep in to take it but oh well. i guess no one kind of believed that he could do that with how tight the security would be ofc. also probably not sure if someone who acquired that power would be able to like properly use it, not until he left the academy after a certain time frame (bridge chapter when he finally broke tm.)

Anyway, that question aside, his personality. With the lcie power in effect, i can imagine how confusing and painful it was for him. to fight your own thoughts and someone’s voice in your head, slowly and gradually forget who you are, why you are fighting for and for whom. Machina’s conviction was not strong to let him remember these things after the white tiger’s crystal power took over him. Instead of machina, we have incognito, a lcie with no recollection of why he fights, but simply fights to test his power? to prove he can fight? to acquire new powers? incognito does what the focus (cid) is telling him to do, fight, he fights, go back and be on stand by, he will do that. it is funny that he, now a lcie did not even think to challenge the zeroes when they went into ingram. cid probably knew, if not for sure that even after being a lcie he is not strong enough to take them down because they will not kill him. yes, i can see that the zeroes wont kill him, more like just pity him more and it would be more lethal than killing him. 

ok. so machina slowly forgetting who he is, is just painful for anyone who would talk to him knowing that it is him. Even before leaving the academy he will not be that upbeat and friendly guy, no. it can’t be helped when he no longer hear himself, but someone else’s voice. plus the whole jealousy towards the zeroes for being strong and way ahead of him--so far away he cannot hope to reach them. former classmates from Class TWO would know something is wrong but not sure anyone would really comment on that because one) not many where left in the class to begin with two) machina had been somewhat hard to reach at times so i can assume they’ll be like yep he is back at it again, trying to be stronger and ignoring us. 

his speech pattern will be less colorful. his answers and replies will be short and concise unless he had to explain something which he feels daunting to do. usually, he would have strike conversations with others but now he will steer away from conversations. only butt in when the conversation is about rem. that nervous timid at times hint in his voice (sometimes the excited puppy noises) no more. it feels like you are dragging words out of him if he was not in the mood (can you blame someone questioning what is going on inside his brain?)

It’s just sad that probably his last line to rem was that he is going to protect her, protect orience, everything was twisted in his brain and used against him. shakes my fist. leave my child alone, baldy! why it is sad to think he cannot recognize faces when he became incognito, i mean he didnt realize he is fighting rem until whoops stabbing her. thanks to the intervention of the crystal, i can picture that he suffers from something similar to prosopagnosia, but not that severe (maybe because he mentally knows what he did wrong so he cannot in a way look at anyone’s face and be comfortable. he betrayed everyone. he feels shame. all that is just killing him as well.)

incognito machina is just....white black filter. acually just dull black. nothing is there, just the sense he has to keep doing whatever he is doing and prove that he can fight too. lost. sad. young man. fighting himself and not knowing this fight is a lost one. dont touch me. im krying.

thanks for coming to my ted talk. please. hand over your tissues.  

[jeebsy]

Titanfall 2 Titan Guide Part 2

I’m back again with Part 2 of my Titan Guide. This part will focus on the Stryder Chassis Titans ‘Northstar’ and ‘Ronin’.

This is a somewhat extensive overview of each Titan & how to use them against other players. Again I am not the best player out there but I’ve played enough and have a good understanding of each titan. Hopefully at least some of you will find this guide useful. See you on the frontier pilots!

Feel free to add your own tips or correct me if you think I’ve made a mistake.

Below the cut because this is long.

First I’ll say there is no be all end all way to play the titans. Most if not all titan kits are useful in certain situations and as such you should experiment with each to find what works for you. I’ll be giving my recommendations for kits and explaining my choices at the end of each titans segment.

I’ve split each Titan up into 6 sections, going over (in order):

"Titan Name:" Quick overview & what to learn first with that Titan to get good.

Using them Against Pilots

Using them Against Titans.

Their Core.

General Tips/Tricks

My recommended Titan Kit.

Northstar: This is the one of the most straight forward Titans in the game, but the hardest to use. Reason being, every fiber of her being is designed around the 'Plasma Railgun'. First off, you will want to get the basics of charging it down, which is simple. Pay attention to the damage done when charging it, each blip is an additional 300 damage past the first which deals 550 damage. Thus it deals 550 -> 850 -> 1150 -> 1450 -> 1750 -> 2050 damage. You need 5 or 6 blips in order to deal over a bar of damage on a crit (and thus vaporize a doomed titan). Always attempt to max charge it against Titans whenever possible. The full charge has a push back effect against titans, keeping you at a distance from potential threats while doing a lot of damage.

Against Pilots: Learn how to peg em with your 'Railgun'. It will be hard at first & you will probably die... A lot. BUT, after a while, you will learn the travel time of the weapon & where to aim to snipe them. Use her speed to your advantage as her melee will one shot just like every other Titan, so get in close on pilots & beat some skulls in to prevent damage. Her 'Cluster Missile' is amazing against pilots. Use it to limit their space, or just pop one on top of a pilot & get some easy kills. You can get a bunch of kills as well if they are stacked together, or held up in a room. You can also use it to "Scratch your back" If a pilot is stealing your battery & you have no smoke, or want a faster option. Just aim at a wall Titan height, turn around & feel the back scratch go to work! It will damage you though, so be warned.

Against Titans: IMO, she is the hardest to properly use. First off, SPACE IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND! COVER IS YOUR BEST FRIEND! SPACE IS YOUR SECOND BEST FRIEND! Always be next to walls!!! I cannot stress this enough, as too many Northstars will stand in fields taking shots, or be wide out in the open trying to hit their enemy, completely neglecting the fact that they are wide open & have 3 health bars. Bad. Walls are the key. Use them for cover to dash out from & take pot shots. Now if an enemy is 3 feet from you, a wall isn't going to do jack, hence why space is still your second bestie. Keep that space, as you are weak & need to keep your distance to survive. 'VTOL Hover' is a great tool to get unexpected angles on your enemy & pop shots on them. Don't use it when you are being chased though, it will simply throw you in the air & make you a bigger target for all. 'Cluster Missiles' + 'Tether Traps' work wonders on denying enemy movement. I personally use 'Tether Traps' in an aggressive manner to pin my enemies down & then lay the damage on with a 'Cluster Missile'. That way they are stuck either focusing on the 'Tether Trap' & taking damage from my shots, or they are focused on me & taking damage from the 'Cluster Missile'. Win win. I recommend using these 2 abilities in conjunction. However, both are good separate, it just takes time learning how to use them against Titans.

'Flight Core' is one of the harder cores to master. It puts you up in the sky with big damage output capabilities, but again, you are a weak little girl. Close the distance to use this ability, it is easily dodged from far away. Use it to surprise your opponent, that way you throw them off & stay alive while tearing them up (Pop out of cover as they approach, Use it on the flank of a Titan, etc.). It also works wonders when you have an opponent trapped in your 'Tether Trap', and they are unable to escape. Pop it then, & watch them helplessly squirm under your wrath :D

General Tips:

Don't always feel as though you need to hit max charge on Railgun! Spice up your pokes and defensive ability battles with partial charge shots, the damage adds up quick and the unpredictability will keep opponents on their toes.

It isn't a bad idea to use VTOL Hover on Northstar as a retreat option, especially if you have Viper Thrusters. It allows you to create gap while charging Railgun, and as always makes you immune to ground-based attacks such as Arc Wave.

You can use VTOL Hover to reduce your height when popping Flight Core. Just activate VTOL Hover and then Flight Core and you will stop rising into the air. This can surprise opponents, as well as allow you to get into areas where a full height Flight Core could actually hinder movement.

Be unpredictable with your peeking shots. Try starting VTOL Hover around a corner and start charging a shot. Then as you start to fall move round the corner and shoot... Many opponents won’t be expecting you to already be in the air.

Kit Recommendations:

Titan Kit: Nuclear Ejection.

Northstar is the ONLY Titan I recommend Nuclear Ejection on. When doomed you pop your tether traps and then eject. Most opponents will not be able to get away in time. You will most likely destroy their Titan and maybe the Pilot and gain a bunch of build meter towards your next Titan.

Northstar Kit: Twin Traps or Viper Thrusters.

Twin Traps makes it so you throw out two tethers when using the ability. Making it easier to trap an opponent or multiple opponents. This is my preferred pick.

Viper Thrusters increases mobility when using VTOL Hover. More mobility is great to reposition in battle.

Titanfall Kit: Drop Shield.

Only two choices for this and it’s more a preference thing. Drop Shield gives you a nice safety area to retreat to if you need it.

Ronin: He is hard to learn, simply put. First things first, you have 3 bars of health to work with, BUT that can be easily mitigated with his 'Sword Block'. This ability is amazing & one of the best in game, it can keep you alive long after you should've died like a cat with 9 lives. You can dash & 'Phase Dash' with it up, but you can't attack. So use it when you cover distance against an already attacking Titan to save health + when retreating to refresh your abilities & reload 'Leadwall.'

Against Pilots: Ronin is easily one of the best anti-pilot Titans in the game. His 'Leadwall' will one shot any pilot if you aim for center mass, but it does have limited range. His melee is not like everyone else's though. Instead, it is his 'Broadsword'. This has extended range compared to regular melee's, & will make quick work of pilots. Don't just spam melee against pilots though, as you are stuck in the animation & can't block any incoming attacks. You still need to be close even with the extended range, So rely on 'Leadwall' first, then use melee if you are close enough. 

Against Titans: Ronin is a hit & run, mind games based machine. If you are attacking from the front, try to get to the sides before using 'Leadwall'. You don't want to take any damage, so getting different angles on your opponent is crucial. A good strategy is to use 'Arc Wave' as you dash to the side of a titan, slowing their movement speed while you unleash 'Leadwall' into their side. Then make a quick escape to reload 'Leadwall'. DONT SPAM MELEE!!! Yes it does more damage than a regular melee, but you are simply asking to die! Remember, you are stuck in your swinging animation & can't block, so any damage you take is going directly to your 3 bars of health, & a dead weaboo is an ineffective weaboo. You can also use phase dash to 'phase' through your enemy & surprise him from the other side. You can pop Electric Smoke during a 'Phase Dash' as well, making for an amazing disorienting attack. YOU WILL DIE IF YOU PHASE INTO THE ENEMY TITAN UNLESS YOU ARE HOLDING SWORD BLOCK. If you are attacking from the back, there are multiple ways to approach this. First off, I recommend you shoot into your opponents back once or twice, & as they are turning around, use 'Arc Wave' + 'Phase Dash' through them to disorient them & confuse them. As they slowly turn to face where you were, you will be behind them, again, With a meaty 'Leadwall'. You can also just unleash all your damage at their back & run away, if that's more your style.

'Sword Core' is basically Ronin at maximum power. But even a maxed out Ronin can be stopped, so be weary. Your 'Arc Wave' will deal massive damage, so use that to stun your enemies as you lay into them with your newly beefed up Sword. Because your dashes recharge much faster, try to dash side to side while swinging to prevent the opponent from having a lock on you & hurting you. Again, you are vulnerable while swinging, so keep that in mind. His 'Sword Block' is enhanced even more now, & can take a full salvo core without loosing a full bar of health. So use that when approaching &/or escaping.

General Tips:

If an enemy pilot boards you & is stealing your battery, you can phase dash THE MOMENT they remove it from you to mitigate all damage + kill the enemy pilot for a free battery!

A great tactic to disorient opponents is to ‘Phase Dash’ through enemy Titans and whilst Phase Dashing you pop your Electric Smoke Countermeasure. This can cause a lot of confusion as enemies try to spot you and all the while they are taking damage from the smoke.

Kit Recommendations:

Titan Kit: Counter Ready.

This kit allows you to have double Electric Smokes which means you can use them as a more offensive option which is a common Ronin tactic.

Ronin Kit: Temporal Anomaly or Highlander.

Ronin is all about speed and mobility and Temporal Anomaly reduces your Phase Dash cooldown allowing you to roam around the map with ease. This is my personal pick.

Highlander refills your sword core meter with each Titan kill allowing you to go on massive sprees. This is more of a high risk/reward option as being a stryder chassis you can easily be shut down by a coordinated group.

Titanfall Kit: Drop Shield.

Only two choices for this and it’s more a preference thing. Drop Shield gives you a nice safety area to retreat to if you need it.

[oswald-privileges]

Loudmouth

(I wrote some statement fic. It’s been a heck of a while since I wrote anything for fandom.)

Statement of Ulla Ness, regarding, um... a peculiar transformation. Original statement given March 14th, 1999. Audio recording by Christopher Peake, in an… unprofessional capacity. Statement begins.

I still don’t see why I had to come to you. I know you have an email address, so wouldn’t it have been easier to just scan the form and send it to me? Hell, I would have taken a physical copy sent to me in the post. It would have been slower, but it would have meant I could have stayed at home. But no. I asked, and you just gave me a lot of waffle about how you have ‘strict acquisition policies’, alongside directions that had been copied from google maps. Which I know, because I checked.

It’s not that I’m lazy, you understand, far from it. I used to have what I regarded as quite the active social life. But recently that’s become impossible for me to maintain, for a number of reasons. Which are also the reasons that I’ve come to talk to you.

I used to be quite a religious person. Still am, I suppose. I’m not entirely sure. I was a member of the congregation of Saint Mary’s, a small anglican church in a small, anglican village up in Lincolnshire. Not everybody there was particularly devout, but it wasn’t one of those places where it especially mattered. It was more about the sense of community we had. Catching up with each other after communion on Thursdays, singing in the choir, arranging cake sales or coffee mornings as fundraisers for whatever bit of the building had fallen off now. I’ve been attending since I was little, and more or less grew up with the congregation.

I miss it quite badly, if I’m being honest. I’ve always been the sort to need other people, but I didn’t realise quite how much losing them would affect me. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone and all that, I suppose.

It started with another fundraiser, a jumble sale this time. I had volunteered to help manage the event, so I was in charge of sorting through the items that people had brought in for us to sell. Like I said, not everyone there was strictly devout, and didn’t always take care with what they decided to donate. Some people seemed to use it as more of an excuse to toss legitimate junk in our direction and call it a good deed.

This was definitely the case with Mister Ashley. He attended purely because his mother was too old to walk by herself, and I rather think that she insisted that he stay with her throughout the service. It was definitely at her behest that he took part in any communal activities. She would always announce that he would be happy to run stalls or make tea or some other menial duty, while he sat by her side, stony-faced, and saying nothing at all.

The only time I remember him giving any sort of reaction was when when his mother announced that her Jamie would be happy to donate some of his shop’s excess stock for the jumble sale. I remember, he turned to her with the strangest look on his face. At the time, I thought it was one of badly suppressed outrage. I assumed that she had simply gone a bit too far in volunteering his services; Mister Ashley was a second hand book seller, and owned the Jabberwock Bookshop just off from Memorial Square. It can’t have been all that easy to turn a profit. Thinking back on it now, though, and I wonder if his expression was something sharper than just anger. If it could have been alarmed, almost panicked. But I believe that is likely be nothing more than hindsight colouring my memories. If he had had some way of knowing, had been frightened of something like that which came to pass, then… well. I cannot honestly say I ever truly liked James Ashley, but neither can I believe that he would be as cruel or as cowardly as to not have said or done anything.

As it was, he brought the books to the side room the next day, where I was going through the donations and sorting the sellable items from those things too broken, torn, stained, or just plain unusable. I had just set aside yet another jigsaw- this one with almost two thirds of the pieces obviously missing- when he knocked on the outer door. In spite of the heavy rain, he wasn’t wearing a coat, hat, or boots. He didn’t say a word to me when I opened it, just shouldered his way in, dropped a heavy cardboard box on the floor by the unsorted donations, and walked out again. He did this three more times, leaving the door swinging behind him, letting in strong gusts of wind and rain, and reinscribing a damp trail of rainwater on the carpeted floor. Then he was gone as abruptly as he had arrived.

Ashley had taken better care to protect the books from the rain than himself. The cardboard was soaked through, but the books inside had been wrapped in several layers of plastic sheeting. They were stacked upright, and had been fitted in without any attempt to force too many into a single space. They were all, without exception, worn, faded, and almost completely without interest. Paperback romances long since out of print, old text books, children’s encyclopedias. It was rather a relief, if I’m honest. I could just reach into the boxes, grab a book, give it a flick through, and place it on the “for sale” pile.

I was about halfway through the last box when my fingers brushed something that did not feel at all like paper. It was dense and yielding, and ever so slightly damp. I recoiled, shock and disgust crawling their prickling way up my arm. My fingers looked clean, but the ghost feeling of something sticky still clung to them.

My first thought that it was some nasty practical joke. That Ashley, stung by his mother’s willingness to give away his stock, had put something disgusting in there by way of relieving his feelings. But that would have been ridiculous- he was a grown man, for goodness sakes, not a slighted child. It was more likely that the plastic keeping the books wrapped up had slipped, and allowed the rain to seep in through the sides. That was the more likely explanation.

It seemed as though I was right when I looked into the box properly, and saw nothing there but more books. But when I reached in again, all I felt was rough, dry paper. Confused, I went through the contents more slowly, looking where I placed my hand and at the books I chose.

I didn’t feel it again until the fifth book I picked up, that same almost-damp feeling. It was broad and set in landscape, almost like a sketchbook. It was dense with pages all jammed together- dense and heavy. It flopped bonelessly in my hand, and I needed to support it from underneath before I could read the title.

Hymnal, it read. The gold letters gleamed wetly on the slick cover.

It appeared to be full of sheet music. No titles or lyrics, just scratched staves and notes that meandered up and down the lines as though drunk. The smell that rose from the pages as I turned them was odd and unpleasant. I wondered if the leather binding them hadn’t been properly cured. Those areas of page that weren’t covered in music were full of sketches, but so dense and overlapping that I couldn’t tell what they were supposed to be. And, I realised with an unpleasant start, the cover beneath my hands was warm, as though I was touching a live thing.

Suddenly, I’d had enough. I was sitting here, working myself up over an old, graffitied book for no good reason. I shut the thing hurriedly, and it snapped closed with a heavy slithering of pages. I caught the soft part of my forefinger on one of them, and a tiny bead of scarlet began to well from the wound. The stinging was welcome- it gave me something to focus on, mundane annoyance drowning out the confusion that had been threatening to become fear.

I dropped the book onto the discard pile. I couldn’t sell something like that, that much was obvious. Then I picked it up again, and dashed through the rain to the rubbish bins outside. I tossed it in, and followed it up with as much of the discard pile as I could bag up in one go, burying the thing underneath threadbare scarves, broken plastic dolls, and half used art supplies.

I felt a little better when it was done, but not much. Whatever those hymns were praising, I don’t think it was Our Lord.

The cut on my finger didn’t heal like it should. It stopped bleeding without any trouble, but the edges became raised, reddened and sensitive to the touch. I dabbed at it with antiseptic and did my best to put it out of my mind. I succeeded at first. I had plenty to keep me busy, both at church and at my workplace, and for a day or two, I completely forgot about it.

At least until it opened up again.

I don’t remember what caused it, or if anything caused it at all. Just that I was reaching for something, and there was the feeling of… unpeeling, almost, the cold feeling of fresh air on wet skin. I checked to see if the cut was bleeding again.

Instead of a cut, I found myself looking at a tiny, fully formed mouth.

The raised, reddened edges I had thought were a sign of infection had become minute lips. They were slightly parted, and behind them I could see the tiniest slivers of white. And behind that, a dark space where something wet shifted.

I didn’t look at it for long. Already I was reaching for the first aid kit, hastily covering the cut- the mouth- with a plaster. I was already convincing myself that what I’d just seen was some kind of infection I was too squeamish to look at, and that since I couldn’t feel any pain, I should probably go to the doctors, in case it was nerve damage or something. The impression of having seen a mouth rather than a cut was an unpleasant trick my mind had played on me, and one I didn’t feel like closely examining. I told myself I had imagined it.

I hadn’t, though. I could taste the soft fabric patch on the plaster.

I really did mean to go to the doctors. Mouth or no mouth, whatever was happening to the cut on my finger worried me. I even got as far as making an appointment. But the next day I went into work, and there was an accident involving a slippery patch of floor and a very, very sharp knife that I was carrying at the time. I ended up with a nasty slice parallel with the underside of my ribcage.

This time, it was obvious how quickly it stopped bleeding, how it was practically dry before I even changed the gauze once. How the scabs began to flake before I even touched them, leaving nothing but those raised, reddening edges around the cut itself.

I didn’t go to that doctor’s appointment. I don’t think it would have helped me if I had.

It took longer for the second cut to open, but when it did, I could stand in front of the mirror to properly see the flat, white, human teeth, and the tongue that moved behind them.

It didn’t feel alien. That’s what surprised me most. I was scared, of course I was scared, I was growing new bits, opening up in places that I shouldn’t- but that was just it. It was my body doing this, not some… weird infection or surgery. Whatever was happening, it felt like an extension of myself.

I could move them, I found. Not as consciously as I could my original mouth, the one in its proper position on my face, but sort of like moving a limb after it’s fallen asleep. It took concentration, like I was working through partial numbness. Like I needed to focus to wake them up.

I didn’t spend very long doing that, though. I would realise with a start that what I was doing wasn’t normal, it wasn’t sane. I would pull my shirt back down or re-plaster my finger with a feeling almost like shame. I wasn’t as scared as I should have been, and that in itself was somehow a lot more frightening.

I’m not clumsy. I can’t be, considering the sharp tools I have to handle at work. But I started to accumulate injuries. Innocuous things at first. Paper cuts from the prayer books during mass, scrapes from the edges of the metal benches at work. And then other things. Pushing down a door-handle would lay my palm open as though I’d been struck with a metal ruler. The pressure of my jacket across my shoulders would tear the skin. I woke in bed one morning to discover that the folded sheets around me had left cuts going from my hip to my collar bone.

Every single one of them bled, reddened, and opened.

The mouths started to become restless as their number grew. They tried to chew on the clothes I wore to cover them, and if I didn’t focus, they would let out soft, but audible moans or sighs. I tried to quiet them. I even tried feeding them, though I only did that once. It seemed to help, but the mangled sensation of swallowing with a throat that seemed to be lodged under my right kidney was so disorienting I couldn’t bring myself to do it again.

I hadn’t stopped going out altogether. I left the house less, certainly, but as uncertain and uncomfortable as my changing existence was, I didn’t want to give up the company of other people altogether. I get lonely easily.

So, one Friday, when when there was so little skin left under my clothes and gloves that no new mouths could easily form, I patched my face and neck with gauze, and went to take my place in the choir again.

Nobody really seemed to notice anything different about me. I had all the right stories lined up for when I was asked about what had happened to my face, but almost nobody did. A few condolences, a few jokes, and that was it. People apparently preferred to gossip about the death of Mrs Ashley, and how her James had stopped coming to church now, and how they had known his heart wasn’t in it all along.

It felt awful. There I was, standing in the middle of them, skin to skin almost, with the most fragile disguise imaginable hiding a secret that would ruin their perception of the world for good- and they were too wrapped up in their own smug assurance of their own piety to notice. I offered up a brief prayer for patience, but like all my prayers lately, I don’t think I was offering it to the God whose praises we’d all gathered to sing.

And when we raised our voices together for All Things Bright And Beautiful, and I opened my mouth to join in, and then opened my mouth again, and opened my mouth again, and opened my mouth again- I wasn’t singing praises to that God either.

I didn’t realise that the others had stopped at first. It wasn’t until I glanced to one side, and saw Julie Wright staring at me with her powerless mouth open and unmoving, that I realised I was singing in harmony with myself.

I broke off, suddenly embarrassed and frightened by the way that they were all looking at me. There was something like awe in their expressions, but there was something else there too. Something that shuddered and recoiled. I desperately tried to remember the words I’d been singing, if I had gotten them right. I had the horrible sense that I might have subverted something holy.

Adam Bromley was the one to break the silence.

“Well now. You never told us you were getting private training!”

And just like that, the spell was broken. The unexpressed disgust sank back beneath their faces, and the others took up the idea almost with relief. A beautiful voice, they told me, what trick did they teach me to make it resonate like that? I forced a smile and said something non-committal and when we took up the tune again, I was careful to sing only the words that were on the page in front of me.

My own relief was short-lived. When I got home, I found the skin I had left was being pulled apart by the restless movements of the mouths. Blood stained the underside of my shirt, and I couldn’t stop the moans and hissings any more than I could have controlled a spasm or a muscular tic.

I didn’t sleep that night, and called in sick to work the next day. I lay on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling, trying very hard not to move.

It wasn’t any use. My skin had become so fragile that even getting up and walking to the kitchen caused it to split, the blood barely having time to dry before the wound began to twitch and whisper. All my fascination was gone now, as were all my attempts to ignore what was happening. All I did was lie on the bed, and let myself slowly drown in my own body. I lived like that for a week.

When next Friday evening came, my entire body burst into song.

I writhed and moaned and hummed without will, without choice, throwing out snatches of hymn before discarding them as not what I wanted, not right. And for the first time, the indistinct murmurs and whispers grew louder, began to form words. Prayers that had been chewed out of shape, pleas for more, more mouths, more brothers and sisters, to come out of hiding and join the great curdling of flesh.

This went on for the entire night.

That was when I decided that I needed to do something. I’d let… whatever this was go on for too long, long beyond the point of saving myself. But I wanted to tell someone first. So I dragged myself to my computer, and searched as best I could. It’s difficult to type with only a confusion of tongues.

And that’s where you came in. You aren’t special. You were just the closest place that didn’t either ignore my emails, or reply with not so gentle suggestions that I see a psychologist.

I don’t think I’ll be leaving my home again, once I get back. I doubt I’ll even bother uncovering, although there’s no-one there to see me. For all that I wanted to let someone know, I don’t want to be seen.

The cupboard below the stairs locks from the inside. I can push the key out from underneath the crack in the door.

Whatever is happening to me, I won’t allow it come to fruition.

Post-statement follow-up: There wasn’t anyone under the stairs when I went to check. The lock on cupboard door was broken, and so was the one on the back door. Either Ms Ness was, um… successful in her attempts to… halt her transformation, and a housebreaker with some seriously questionable motives took what was- what was left of her. Or she wasn’t. And her resolve either waned or the situation was, um. Taken out of her hands. Or. Whatever she had instead of hands.

I wasn’t… going to record this. It’s not my job, strictly speaking, but I was reading some of the old statements, and this one just… sort of caught my eye. And I’ve seen the Archivist and some of the others do recordings, and it just looked so… I wanted to try it out. I’ll be taking the tape with me, though. None of the others need to know about this.

[kimberlycollins]

NIPPON GA DAI SUKI (JAPAN WE LOVE YOU)

Traveling to an exotic country sounds, well, exotic. And it is. It’s a true adventure in life. It’s also exhausting. And enlightening.

I’ve traveled afar throughout my entire adulthood. All over Europe, The Middle East, Egypt, Central America, Mexico, Eastern Europe, Canada, the Caribbean, Australia… Florida. ;)

I give travel (and my parents, *ehem*) credit for keeping me grounded, humbled and modest, in the sense of “I AM BUT A SPECK ON THIS EARTH” or “MY BELIEF SYSTEM IS NOT EVERYTHING” or “I DON’T KNOW AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I KNEW” or “I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT BEST DRESSED IN HIGH SCHOOL” (read: France ;)).

Travel helps us all to get out of our comfort zone and to see what a tiny place we occupy on this planet. It’s a liberating realization, embracing one’s insignificance in this world. It’s not about being small, because none of us are. It’s more about the world being BIG.

Travel puts your life into perspective; your problems and celebrations do not hold as much weight as they seem. It also shows you how much you have or what you don’t have. It’s a healthy reality check.

That’s why travel is good for you.

I am reminded this after a crazy year. My husband and I have been on tour with our music (The Smoking Flowers) for a lot of 2018, in and out of the country. It’s been a healthy year of these reality checks for sure.

That’s why I am writing this post on my health blog, as this type of health is just as important as the physical.

And so I write.

I write to journal.

I write to inspire (myself, if no one else).

I write to remember.

I write because I am bored today, it’s cold outside and my matcha is steaming, infusing me with memories.

I’m also writing because I miss Japan.

Of all my travels, I think Japan smacked me across the head when I needed it most. It made me feel like I was five years old again. Everything, down to using the toilet, I had to relearn/rethink. Yep, it took 43 years off my life. Now that’s a natural youth serum I can live with.

It also made my brain function differently. Trying to learn a foreign language audibly and visually that has no history in the Latin world is truly a foreign language. I now know how to order water, draft beer, sake and vegetarian ramen in Japanese. Basics. (Although a friendly laugh is usually the response to the veggie ramen inquiry). I now know how to tell a Japanese punk band they did a great job after seeing them open up for us at our show. I learned to say just plain “awesome”, and used it a lot. Japanese is pretty “saikou”, after all.

Japan can feel very futuristic, and Tokyo is like being on a movie set at times. They are the future for most of the civilized world seemingly 10 years ahead of us all, yet still remaining ancient and historic at the same time. Eating sushi or having tea can be presented like it was 400 years ago or like something out of The Jetsons (ala conveyor belt computer sushi restaurants).

But beyond the exotic veil, it was the culture and etiquette that really impressed me and made my head spin.

Below are but a few observations of the plentiful Japanese culture I experienced over my month long visit. And of course, they are my own, so they are neither right nor wrong. Just observations from a somewhat worldly gal who grew up Southern in America:

1. The Japanese have manners like I’ve never seen.

They are unwavering in their politeness. Selfless hospitality is a cornerstone of Japanese culture, and you can feel it in everything down to their quiet nature to their cleanliness to the way they package your purchased goods like a present. And that bow! That Japanese bow. It makes you feel special.

2. They are startling quiet and calm.

Given that Tokyo houses more than 13 million people, the sense of order and calm as everyone goes about their responsibilities with concern for others is remarkable. The Tokyo city streets are shockingly silent. You can hear the air, the machinery hums that run a city and the cars passing, but they don’t honk like NYC. I think I heard two honks the entire time in Tokyo, and that’s not an exaggeration. We drove the interstates a ton on our tour, all over the country... aggressive driving doesn’t seem to exist. Could this be from their Zen culture?

Also, they don’t bump into you trying to get on the subway in a hurry. It’s an orderly line and gentle squeeze to fit everyone on the trains, like a can of sardines without the stink.

I want to throw in another aspect of “calm” here; safety.

Feeling safe, stable, and secure is central to our health and wellbeing. How safe we feel at home and in our neighborhood can influence our social habits and feeling of freedom. When we feel safe, we find it easier to relax, do all the things that comfort us, and focus on the work or study we need to do to help ensure our stability.

I’ve never felt safer anywhere in my life than when in Japan. I never worried about my purse or goods being stolen. Never worried about locking our apartment or car doors. Never got ogled at or hit upon. Wowza.

3. There’s no trash on the streets. And I mean zero. Not even cigarette butts. And it’s not like there are janitors sweeping the streets and alleys. To make this fact more amazing, it’s hard pressed to find trash bins anywhere. So where does a city of millions dispose of their goods while walking/biking about? Their pockets… until they reach home to throw in appropriate bins.

RETRACTION: One time we were walking under an over pass in Tokyo and we saw, gasp, trash. The remarkable thing was that this trash was piled neatly in a small pile, waiting anxiously to be picked up properly.

For an interesting article on Japan and the waste culture check out this article: https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/07/why-japanese-dont-litter/

4. They seem to really care about the planet.

And don’t just post about it on social media.

You won’t find paper towels anywhere, sans a few nice restaurants. Water waste is thoughtfully considered in everything they do it seems. Yes, even the toilet fill water after a flush is used as a sink to wash your hands before entering the tank. They line dry their clothes (like most of the world except America). They ride bicycles like it’s Amsterdam on steroids. There are even parking lots just for bikes. This eliminates the need for excess taxis on the streets (i.e. “fossil fuels”). I know this goes on all over the world, but I again, I’m sticking to Japan here.

5. Buddhism and Shintoism.

I have practiced Buddhism since my 20’s and see it as more of a mind set and lifestyle than a religion. So for me, I felt right at home in a country that houses over 77,000 temples (No typo there). Incense permeates the air, especially in Kyoto. Smelled like my house and I couldn’t have been happier about that aspect.

But it’s more than Buddhism. The main Japanese religion is Shintoism. Many Japanese people practice both. The beliefs are very compatible and not contradictory.

6. ROBOTIC TOILETS!

Japan has a magic thing called Toto Toilets. And the toilet culture there is really something to behold. I fell in love with their toilets and never once worried to sit on the public toilet seat. I can simply not go back to our classic Kohler again. Trust me, once you experience a heated seat, self-cleaning, massaging, butt-cleaning, “privacy sound”, hand-washing toilet all in one small package, you’ll never go back. Don’t know how to expand on this in a blog… just “go” try it for your self.

7. 7- Eleven heaven!

Yep, you heard this health advocate correctly. When you are looking for a healthy bite on the road or on the quick, there’s a 7-Eleven on every corner. And it’s not the 7-Eleven we know in this country at all! Made fresh daily veggie sushi, veggie rice “sandwiches”, miso soup, raw veggies, healthy drinks, tea, fairly healthy snacks if you are into the packaged food thing. All for super cheap. I cannot tell you what a lifesaver it was on the road for us when there were practically no healthy options. Also, we decided to add fish into our diet while in Japan, and certainly glad we did. I’ve never had better fish in my life. It really felt healthy. My nails are still shiny like they’ve been shellacked. Win win.

8. VENDING MACHINES!

Super convenient and anonymous, there are vending machines all over Japan (even in remote villages) that can get you most anything you need instantly: from fermented bean drinks to green tea to hot or cold coffee to fully cooked meals to used panties. Yep, the Japanese can get weird.

Ok, so maybe the last three points are less about culture, but I had to throw them in for the “wow” factor.

I could go on and on about Japan… it’s as wide and deep and old and beautiful as it’s countryside beacon Mt. Fuji. But it has its pitfalls too. No culture is perfect. I just prefer to focus on the ideals I look up to, rather than focusing on the negatives. Their negatives are no different than America’s: too much sugar and meat in the diet, it’s a highly misogynistic society, cigarettes, stressful six day work weeks with long hours, those darn plastic bags… But we all know those are WORLD WIDE ISSUES.

Japan, you definitely stole my heart. Thank you to all who came to our shows and to those that showed us your rare style of hospitality. And a huge special thanks to my tour manager, Gus Bennett, who introduced my husband and me to this beautiful country, showed us the ropes and helped us navigate into this great unknown that will certainly be with me forever.

Mata, chikai uchini, aeruto iine.

Photo credit: Marley Parker at ML Parker Media

[jamesdyecg]

Research & Enquiry: Reflective Post 2 - How can I tell when I'm 'Over-scoping' a project?

- Consequences of Over-scoping -

Over the last 4 years since I started my journey into 3D I have unfortunately fallen into a repetitive pattern of 'over-scoping' many of my projects. By this I mean biting off more than I can chew, setting goals that are simply unattainable, whether that be through lack of knowledge on the subject, or more commonly, just lacking in time to reach that goal. This has often led me to feel under-accomplished with my work, and has often led to burnouts, I am a perfectionist within my work, and when I can't quite reach my untouchable goals, I have a huge sense of failure.

- Comparing to others -

In this day and age it is extremely easy to compare my own work to that of others, with sites like Artstation I can logon, see these incredible artist producing incredible work and feel completely overwhelmed. But what these posts dont often say is just quite how long they took. Or, even if they did not take that long, these artists have been working at their craft for often over a decade and have perfected this part. It is unproductive to compare myself to these giants, as it will often leave me feeling disappointed or un-motivated, feeling as if I cannot reach these standards.

In one of Jordan B Petersons books aptly titled "12 Rules for Life - An Antidote for Chaos" Jordan states rule 4 as "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today" a powerful sentence which only once truly understood can reflect back to an artists craft, comparing ourselves to these top artists is only self-destructive after all.

"No matter how good you are at something, or how you rank your accomplishments, there is someone out there who makes you look incompetent." - Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life, p.85

Although this may appear disappointing or even insulting it holds a huge amount of truth, so... If there is always going to be someone better that you, stop trying to be that person, focus on yourself, be the best artist you can be, and only then will you succeed.

- Vertical Slice rule -

This is unfortunately not just my problem, I have spoken to many different artists, both students and professionals, and received a similar testimony from many of them. So, how can we as artists avoid this in the future?

I have started using what I call the 'vertical slice' rule when concepting ideas. the term vertical slice is not new, in fact it is a very common term used within the games industry, referring to:

"a fully-playable portion of a game that shows its developer’s intended player experience. This means its key features and systems are all working together properly, complete with assets that represent – and this is important – final quality." - Xsolla

In essence, I will let my mind run free, think of all the final things this project could amass too, and then. I take a small chunk of this idea, a part where I feel as if I can show off as much potential of the project as possible, and go with that. In the case of my 'Places of Mind' idea for the Practice 1 unit, I found myself at first once again over-scoping the project, but have since recognised my fault and dialled back the idea. I will be expanding upon this project toward the end of the semester and am excited to see the results!

- Citations -

Funding 101: The Impact of The Vertical Slice. Xsolla. Available from: https://xsolla.com/blog/funding-101-the-impact-of-the-vertical-slice [Accessed 11 November 2021].

Jordan B. Peterson, 2018. 12 Rules For Life. Canada: Penguin Books.

[statetalks]

What Do Republicans Stand For Today

Poverty Must Solve Itself

Republicans believe that poor people are usually poor for a reason, be it laziness, choice or whatever. Unless we demand that people pull themselves up by the bootstraps and solve their own problems, people will not be motivated to do things. Therefore, the issue of poverty cannot be solved by the government. Charity should be the choice of individuals.

Republicans Cant Understand Democrats

Only one in four Republican voters felt that most or almost all Democratic voters sincerely believed they were voting in the best interests of the country.  Rather, many Republicans told us that Democratic voters were brainwashed by the propaganda of the mainstream media, or voting solely in their self-interest to preserve undeserved welfare and food stamp benefits.

We asked every Republican in the sample to do their best to imagine that they were a Democrat and sincerely believed that the Democratic Party was best for the country.  We asked them to explain their support for the Democratic Party as an actual Democratic voter might.  For example, a 64-year-old strong Republican man from Illinois surmised that Democrats want to help the poor, save Social Security, and tax the rich.   

But most had trouble looking at the world through Democratic eyes. Typical was a a 59-year-old Floridian who wrote I dont want to work and I want cradle to grave assistance. In other words, Mommy! Indeed, roughly one in six Republican voters answered in the persona of a Democratic voter who is motivated free college, free health care, free welfare, and so on.  They see Democrats as voting in order to get free stuff without having to work for it was extremely common roughly one in six Republican voters used the word free in the their answers, whereas no real Democratic voters in our sample answered this way. 

How Bipartisan Is Democrats Infrastructure Plan

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But Trumps continued popularity among key GOP constituencies prevents Republican insiders from undertaking a formal, public discussion about his political shortcomings and how the party should move on from him. Everyone in the GOP knows that irritating Trump could result in the former president attacking them, which would make them vulnerable to a primary challenge, with conservative activists likely backing their opponent. So there will be no autopsy of the post-Trump Republican Party, akin to the Republican National Committees report in 2013 following Romneys defeat, at least not in public. 

Democrats Remain United Around Ideas

While some Democrats remain coy about it, they are broadly united in the objective of moving the United States much more toward European-style social democracy. That includes a much more extensive social welfare system. A government-directed economy. Heavily regulated capital, labor and consumer markets.

This is not socialism, properly understood and defined. Markets would remain the primary mechanism for allocating capital and labor, and setting prices. Even the members of the Democratic coalition who call themselves socialists arent really.

Now, there are disagreements among Democrats about the specifics of what should constitute a European-style social democracy in the United States. And differences about how rapidly to get there.

Nevertheless, there is sufficient consensus on the direction that Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders were able to agree on a unity platform headed into the election.

What Does Democratic Mean

Starting alphabetically, the word means pertaining to or of the nature of democracy or a democracy.

Simply put, the lowercase democratic is a word used to refer to anything that resembles or has to do with a , a form of in which the supreme power rests with the people and is exercised by them directly or by politicians that they elect to them. In practice, this is usually accomplished through a fair, organized system of voting, in which  or cast votes in support of political or societal issues . 

So, the word democratic is used to describe government systems that are or resemble democracies and the people that run these types of governments. The United States of America is a representative democracy in which the people elect representatives to perform the demands of politics on their behalf. This is why we say that the US is a democratic country or that we have a democratic form of government. 

The English word democratic dates all the way back to the late 1500 and early 1600s. It is derived from the Greek word dmokratía . The government system of the ancient Greek of Athens, in which the people held the power , is considered the worlds first democracy. Considering that Athens was a slave-owning society, its form of democracy was much different than the democratic governments of today. 

America Should Deport Illegal Immigrants

Republicans believe that illegal immigrants, no matter the reason they are in this country, should be forcibly removed from the U.S. Although illegal immigrants are often motivated to come to the U.S. by companies who hire them, Republicans generally believe that the focus of the law should be on the illegal immigrants and not on the corporations that hire them.

Democrats Think Many Republicans Sincere And Point To Policy

Democrats, however, were somewhat more generous in their answers.  More than four in ten Democratic voters   felt that most Republican voters had the countrys best interests at heart .  And many tried their best to answer from the others perspective. A 45-year-old male voter from Ohio imagined that as a Republican, he was motivated by Republicans harsh stance on immigration; standing up for the 2nd Amendment; promised tax cuts.  A 30-year-old woman from Colorado felt that Republican votes reflected the desires to stop abortion stop gay marriage from ruining our country and give us our coal jobs back.

Other Democrats felt that their opponents were mostly motivated by the GOPs opposition to Obamacare, lower taxes and to support a party that reduced unemployment. 

What Does Republican Mean

The word means of, relating to, or of the nature of a republic. Similarly to the word democratic, the word republican also describes things that resemble or involve a particular form of government, in this case the government in question is a . A republic is a government system in which power rests with voting citizens who directly or indirectly choose representatives to exercise political power on their behalf. 

You may have noticed that a republic sounds a lot like a democracy. As it happens, most of the present-day democracies are also republics. However, not every republic is democratic and not every democratic country is a republic.

For example, the historical city-state of Venice had a leader known as a who was elected by voters. In the case of Venice, though, the voters were a small council of wealthy traders, and the doge held his position for life. Venice and other similar mercantile city-states had republican governments, but as you can see, they were definitely not democratic. At the same time, the United Kingdom is a democratic country that has a monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, and so it is not a republican country because it is not officially a republic. 

Republican Vs Democrat: What Are The Differences

When it comes to U.S. politics, two prominent parties dominate democrats and republicans. Each party, despite some of their common grounded principles, stands for a very different system where beliefs and applications might vary.

Here is an unbiased breakdown of some of the major differences between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party.

  The Republican Party General Policy And Political Values

The Republican Party is often referred to as the GOP. This abbreviation stands for Grand Old Party. Its logo is an elephant. The Republican Party is known to support right-leaning ideologies of conservatism, social conservatism, and economic libertarianism, among other -isms. Thus, Republicans broadly advocate for traditional values, a low degree of government interference, and large support of the private sector.

One main standpoint of the Republican Party platform is a strong focus on the family and individual freedom. Generally, the Republican Party therefore often tends to promote states and local rights. That means that they often wish for federal regulations to play a lesser role in policymaking. Furthermore, the GOP has a pro-business-oriented platform. Thus, the party advocates for businesses to exist in a free market instead of being impacted by tight government regulations.

Why The Gops Lack Of Party Platform Matters

President Trumps refusal to commit to accepting Novembers election results is the latest example of this president abandoning the norms of constitutional democracy. And although high-profile Republicans have issued statements affirming that they support a peaceful transfer of power, they have also been carefully deferential to Trump.

This is a notable continuation of the party slowly becoming the party of Trump. Nowhere was this clearer than in the decision not to have a 2020 party platform and instead simply affirming enthusiastic support for Trump and his America First agenda. That move, more so than statements pledging fealty to the peaceful transfer of power, signals wavering Republican commitment toward equal rights and democracy.

Platforms declare a partys values and commitments. While the substance of the Democratic and Republican platforms often differs sharply, both have historically used certain key words, like the American Dream, economic opportunity and freedom from discrimination. Examining Republican platforms over time shows that what once had been a big-tent strategy of carefully managing intraparty differences over equality has been replaced by a hierarchical model of leadership where the party faithful should acquiesce to one individuals vision of political community. Indeed, the 2020 resolution ruled out of order any effort to adopt a platform.

What Do Republicans Stand For

Since this is a presidential election year, and the Republican Party wants Americans , it is fitting to ask the question: What do Republicans stand for?

Writing in Politico Magazine, chief political correspondent Tim Alberta hit the nail on the head: The supposed canons of GOP orthodoxy limited government, free enterprise, institutional conservation, moral rectitude, fiscal restraint, global leadership have in recent years gone from elastic to expendable. Identifying this intellectual vacuum is easy enough. Far more difficult is answering the question of what, quite specifically, has filled it.

The Republican Party held a truncated convention in Charlotte last month because of coronavirus restrictions on gatherings and concern for the safety of convention attendees. Every four years at their convention, Republicans adopt a new party platform but not this time. Even though the Democrats adopted a new for 2020 and a 110-page of recommendations issued by the BidenSanders unity task force, the Republican National Committee unanimously voted to forego the Convention Committee on Platform, in appreciation of the fact that it did not want a small contingent of delegates formulating a new platform without the breadth of perspectives within the ever-growing Republican movement. Had the Platform Committee convened, it would have undoubtedly unanimously agreed to reassert the Partys strong support for President Donald Trump and his Administration.

Education

Health care

Democrats Return The Favor: Republicans Uninformed Or Self

The 429 Democratic voters in our sample returned the favor and raised many of the same themes. Democrats inferred that Republicans must be VERY ill-informed, or that Fox news told me to vote for Republicans.  Or that Republicans are uneducated and misguided people guided by what the media is feeding them.

Many also attributed votes to individual self-interest whereas GOP voters feel Democrats want free stuff, many Democrats believe Republicans think that I got mine and dont want the libs to take it away, or that some day I will be rich and then I can get the benefits that rich people get now.

Many used the question to express their anger and outrage at the other side.  Rather than really try to take the position of their opponents, they said things like, I like a dictatorial system of Government, Im a racist, I hate non-whites. 

Views Of The Democratic And Republican Parties

Just under half of Americans have a favorable view of the Democratic Party, while a slightly larger share have an unfavorable view.

The GOP is viewed more negatively 38% say they have a positive view of the Republican Party, while 60% rate it unfavorably. These views are modestly changed since last summer, with the share of Americans rating the GOP unfavorably slightly higher than it was in August and the share of Americans with a negative view of the Democratic Party down slightly .

About three-quarters of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents view the GOP favorably, while 81% of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents view the Democratic Party positively.

Nearly all Republicans who say they strongly identify with the Republican Party express a favorable opinion of the GOP. Among Republicans who say they not so strongly identify with the party, 77% say have a favorable view, while 56% of independents who lean toward the Republican Party say the same.

Democrats who very strongly identify with the Democratic Party nearly universally view their party favorably, as do 87% of Democrats who describe themselves as not-so-strong Democrats. About six-in-ten Democratic leaners have a favorable opinion of the Democratic Party.

Within both partisan groups, views of the opposing party are overwhelmingly unfavorable across-the-board, with more than eight-in-ten strong partisans, not so strong partisans and leaners alike saying this.

Public Opinion On Foreign Policy

In June 2014 the Quinnipiac Poll asked Americans which foreign policy they preferred:

A) The United States is doing too much in other countries around the world, and it is time to do less around the world and focus more on our own problems here at home. B) The United States must continue to push forward to promote democracy and freedom in other countries around the world because these efforts make our own country more secure.

Democrats chose A over B by 65%-32%; Republicans chose A over B by 56% to 39%; Independents chose A over B by 67% to 29%.

Foreign Policy And National Defense

Republicans supported Woodrow Wilson‘s call for American entry into World War I in 1917, complaining only that he was too slow to go to war. Republicans in 1919 opposed his call for entry into the League of Nations. A majority supported the League with reservations; a minority opposed membership on any terms. Republicans sponsored world disarmament in the 1920s, and isolationism in the 1930s. Most Republicans staunchly opposed intervention in World War II until the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. By 1945, however, internationalists became dominant in the party which supported the Cold War policies such as the Truman Doctrine, the Marshall Plan, and NATO.

Red States Outnumber Blue States

In February 2016, Gallup reported that for the first time since Gallup started tracking, red states now outnumber blue states.

In 2008, 35 states leaned Democratic and this number is down to only 14 now. In the same time, the number of Republican leaning states rose from 5 to 20. Gallup determined 16 states to be competitive, i.e., they leaned toward neither party. Wyoming, Idaho and Utah were the most Republican states, while states that leaned the most Democratic were Vermont, Hawaii and Rhode Island.

What Is The Difference Between Republicans And Democrats

Republicans and Democrats are the two main and historically the largest political parties in the US and, after every election, hold the majority seats in the House of Representatives and the Senate as well as the highest number of Governors. Though both the parties mean well for the US citizens, they have distinct differences that manifest in their comments, decisions, and history. These differences are mainly ideological, political, social, and economic paths to making the US successful and the world a better place for all. Differences between the two parties that are covered in this article rely on the majority position though individual politicians may have varied preferences.

Trump Loses Then Attempts A Coup

In Georgia, Trump is attacking the Republican governor, lieutenant governor and secretary of state. In Arizona, he is attacking Republican Gov. Doug Ducey, who has been a GOP statewide officeholder for more consecutive years than Trump has been a Republican.

The reason? They are not willing to try to overturn duly certified election results in their states.

There has been an attempted coup of the presidential election taking place. But Trump is not the victim. He is the perpetrator.

The legal strategy was to delay certification of election results. The political strategy was to pressure Republican officials to ignore the election results, irrespective of whether they were certified, and have Republican state legislatures chose Trump electors in states where Biden won the vote.

Internet Safety And Decency

DemocraticThe platform supports a free and open internet at home and abroad. The party would seek to strengthen cybersecurity while protecting the privacy and civil liberties of the American people.

RepublicanThe platform states: The internet must not become a safe haven for predators. Pornography, with its harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the lives of millions.

Most Republicans Say Critics Of Trump Should Not Be Accepted In The Gop While Most Democrats Say Their Party Should Be Accepting Of Biden Critics

Large majorities of both Republicans and Democrats say their party should be accepting of elected officials within the party who disagree with it on some important issues. At the same time, very few in either party say their party should be welcoming of elected officials who support groups advocating for violence against members of the other party.

But there are clear distinctions between the two coalitions in their appetite for accepting members of the party who criticize the partys standard bearers: While most Democrats say the party should be at least somewhat accepting of elected officials who criticize Joe Biden, the majority position among Republicans is that the GOP should not be welcoming toward Republican elected officials who criticize Donald Trump, and an even smaller share of Republicans say that those who voted to impeach Trump should be accepted in the GOP. 

Eight-in-ten Democrats and Democratic leaners say the Democratic Party should be very or somewhat accepting of Democratic elected officials who disagree with Democrats on important issues, while 71% of Republicans and Republican leaners say their own party should be very or somewhat accepting of Republican officials who disagree with the GOP on some important issues. Just 4% of Democrats and 7% of Republicans say their parties should be not at all accepting of elected officials who disagree with the party on some important issues.

The changes did not affect the reports substantive findings. 

The Partys Core Activists Dont Want To Shift Gears

This is the simplest and most obvious explanation: The GOP isnt changing directions because the people driving the car dont want to. 

When we think of Republicans, we tend to think of either rank-and-file GOP voters or the partys highest-profile elected officials, particularly its leaders in Congress. But in many ways, the partys direction is driven by a group between those two: conservative organizations like Club for Growth and the Heritage Foundation, GOP officials at the local and state level and right-wing media outlets. That segment of the party has been especially resistant to the GOP abandoning its current mix of tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations, opposition to expansions of programs that benefit the poor and an identity politics that centers white Americans and conservative Christians.

You could see the power and preferences of this group in the response to the Capitol insurrection.

In the days immediately following Jan. 6, many GOP elected officials, most notably McConnell, signaled that the party should make a permanent break from Trump. an increased number of rank-and-file GOP voters were dissatisfied with the outgoing president. But by the time the Senate held its trial over Trumps actions a month later, it was clear that the party was basically back in line with Trump. 

related:Why Being Anti-Media Is Now Part Of The GOP Identity Read more. »

Mcdermott: What Exactly Does Today’s Republican Party Stand For

Sep 21, 2019

Don’t want this next door? Too bad, say Missouri’s ruling Republicans.

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Kevin McDermott

Some recent news items:

A new law by Missouri Republicans prevents local governments from regulating mega-hog-farms more stringently than the state does. So much for the Republican principle of local control.

The Republican-held U.S. Senate refuses to consider background checks on all gun purchases to ensure criminals cant buy them a no-brainer thats supported by about 90% of Americans, including most gun owners. So much for the Republican principle of law and order.

Sen. Josh Hawley, R-Mo., wants government regulation of the big social media companies to make their platforms more friendly to conservatives. So much for the Republican principles of deregulation and free enterprise.

The massive tax-cut-for-the-rich that Republicans passed in 2017 continues to very much not pay for itself as promised, instead driving the federal deficit over $1 trillion for the first time in six years. Yet President Donald Trump is calling for another massive tax cut. So much for the Republican principle of fiscal responsibility.

What, exactly, does todays GOP stand for?

Thats not snark. Its a real question.

They were genuinely obsessed with law and order, which is why Ronald Reagan all but banning civilian ownership of machine guns. Would todays Republican Senate pass that?

McDermott: Oblivious in the Ozarks

The Gop Now Stands For Nothing

A party that doesnt believe in anything ends up believing only in its right to rule.

About the author: Tom Nichols is a contributing writer at The Atlantic and the author ofthe book Our Own Worst Enemy: The Assault From Within on Modern Democracy.

The Republicans in Congress are blocking a bipartisan investigation into the January 6 insurrection. Their spines crushed by years of obedience to Donald Trump, the members of the GOP have once again retreated from civic responsibility, with one more humiliation of those last few in the party who thought that the Senate Republicans might mimic something like statesmanship.

However, this effort is more than the usual cynical mendacity and crass careerism that characterize the current Republican Party. This latest insult to the rule of law and the Constitution was possible only because the Republicans have already lost confidence in their own principles. The GOP now stands for nothing. The party of Lincoln has become, in every way, a political and moral nullity.

American conservatism once meant something definite and tangible. You could fight those beliefs and policies; you could argue with them, admire them, or hate them. But they existed. Strom Thurmond, Ronald Reagan, Howard Baker, and Edward Brooke were not necessarily deep thinkers, and they didnt all agree on everything. But the GOP held clear lines of thought that stood as alternatives to liberalism.

Read: Mitch McConnells gift to progressives

Hincker: What Is Conservatism And What Do Republicans Stand For

Larry Hincker

I awoke on the morning of Jan. 6 dusting off ideas for another column. The U.S. Senate had just tipped to Democratic control in a decidedly anti-Trump vote. Should I snidely thank the president for decisively uniting the Democratic Party and its complete takeover of the federal government? Or tackle something closer to my beatthe more complex and substantial topic of the Virginia legislatures costly clean energy policies?

Then I read the paper. The conservative Wall Street Journal opined that Trump was unhinged from political reality. I thought for a moment that the modifier, from political reality, was unnecessary.

Later as I watched TV, unhinged historical figures poured over my brain. Theres Sampson pulling down columns in the temple, screaming about a stolen election amid woe-is-me fueled fury.

Or the Madness of King George, another slightly unhinged leader who suffered defeat, and wondering if our presidents minions were struggling to contain his rages.

Images of Nuremburg dance around my cranium while Trump encouraged tens of thousands at the huge Save America March outside The White House to be wild and walk down to the Capitol. Ill be there with you, he said. Apparently, his bone spurs prevented the walk or affected his courage. He watched from afar as mobs, thugs, and punks assaulted the seat and center of American democracy.

It all represents partisan voter disenfranchisement.

source https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-do-republicans-stand-for-today/

[pervorsitas-a]

//alright, so let’s get to talking about the orbs. i’m going to touch on dialga and palkia’s orbs just a tad, but the griseous orb will be my main focus. so, we already know that arceus created the trio’s orb as read here:

“Arceus creates the Adamant, Lustrous, and Griseous Orbs before falling into a deep slumber.”

this much is true, however, i dont have my arceus go into a slumber like this text says. the reasonings for him creating the orbs are unknown, as he gave them all certain characteristics that have since been scrapped. one thing he had given the orbs was the power to control his children if he needed to. while he can stop his trio with no issues, doing so would take much of his power. if he were able to use the orbs, it would be resolved quicker and without a need for him to expend valuable energy.

this trait was made dormant in the orbs. can a normal human take up the orbs and control the creation trio? no, not at all. it’s an aspect of the orb that lays at rest. arceus can awaken it if need be, but that’s it. 

the orbs are also thought to be connected with the trio’s respective dimensions as well. after creating and toying with the orbs, arceus simply placed them at the heart of each dimension for many millennia. the relationship between the two can be considered symbiotic. if an orb is destroyed, the respective dimension will began to decay and collapse slowly. it’s not instant, and there is enough time to craft another orb without losing the dimension. 

these orbs can also be seen as an “emergency escape” option. if one of the trio is weakened or trapped in their realm somehow, the orb will give them enough power to tear open a portal or access earth’s dimension. this was how giratina was able to get out of the distortion world and essentially “override” the workings of the realm. this is why she cannot go into the distortion world without her orb, or she’ll risk being trapped again.

the griseous orb has proved to be much more volatile and parasitic than the other two, perhaps because giratina stores it in her body for prolonged amounts of time. she keeps her orb where her heart used to be. instead of being in the heart of the distortion world, it’s where her heart should be. giratina is essentially the griseous orb’s host at this point, whereas its host before was the distortion world.

as stated, the effects of the orbs give a boost in power to each respective typings of the creation trio. that being said, the griseous orb boosts giratina’s ghost and dragon type moves by 20%, as stated by bulbapedia. these conditions can be considered as passive, actively working as long as she has her orb (and can be assumed for dialga and palkia as well). 

this power boost is all well and good, however, in moments of extreme peril, the orbs may pour more power into their holder as means of self-preservation, such as the holder being in grave danger, or if the orb is going to be destroyed through some means. 

in giratina’s case, since the orb is resting where her heart was, it was able to properly outpour energy into her body and also control her, in a way, to avoid being destroyed. as i said before, her orb is much more volatile and strange than the other two. being exposed to giratina on a constant basis has made a sort of bond or link between the two. even her arteries and veins will connect to or wrap around the griseous orb in extreme situations, surrendering her will to the orb and it’s power. the controlling aspect arceus had suppressed in the three orbs seemed to mutate and grow on its own in the griseous orb.

while the orb wishes to keep itself safe, it also needs to keep its host safe. the output of power it gives is for its own preservation, but for giratina too. if she’s in grave danger, the orb will consider itself to be in danger and react accordingly. there are rare instances where the orb has stored too much power, and may release it all at once. this doesnt happen very often, though when it does, giratina has no memory of anything she may have done in that time. when the orb gives her power in dire situations, she can usually piece together what happened, though her memory of it may be slightly fuzzy. 

when giratina takes out her griseous orb for too long, her body begins to feel weak and even ill, as if she’s going through some sort of withdrawal. she likes to take her orb out every now and then, but she usually can’t have it out of her body for more than a week. if she has it out for more than that, she gets very anxious and antsy. no matter where she is, close or far from the orb, she can feel it whispering to her and beckoning her. the relationship between her and the griseous orb is borderline parasitic. it does provide her with something in return at times, but the orb overall cares more for self preservation. it’s weirdly sentient, in it’s own odd way. other than the quiet whispers from it when it’s been away from giratina for too long, it usually doesn’t speak into her mind unless it’s giving her power.

as for the other two orbs, the effect they have on their respective holders is unknown. arceus has been observing the orbs as much as he can, and it both baffles and interests him how the griseous orb has developed. it’s seemingly developed a mind of it’s own, a strange sort of sentience that he hasn’t seen in the other orbs. 

[falling-between-the-cracks]

33. Help me up, I’m falling

February 2019

Buckle in m*f*ckers for another thrilling saga and ride on what is my life. I think this blog should be renamed, boy troubles or even better, am i stupid why do I keep doing this. The prevailing thought on my mind, as one can imagine is boys. In particular one boy, asian boy. I think I talked about him earlier but its been a very eventful weekend and I think what I need to do is simply write out all my emotions and anxiety and worries and happiness, and then return back to what is neutrality because I cannot have this going on.

Anyway hes absolutely adorable. Interestingly has met a lot of my friends already, which is ridiculously rare considering white boy, who I went out with for 5 months, bare met anyone not even my flatmates. But ofcourse all of this was unplanned and I’m not going to lie, made me super happy that he had found me on his night out. Well i say found me but still regardless the sentiment stands.

And then ofcourse I met him the evening after and I just can’t deal with his niceness. I think, is that the word I’m looking for. Or his jokes, or his face, or anything about him really. He’s adorable in the little cute kid kind of way. You know like the kid you see in school whos being kinda weird but in a young cute kid kinda way. One of my friends even said to me, hes too nice, you’ll get bored. But I dont know, I want to see how and where this goes. I remember telling a friend of mine about this acctually, how I wanted him to go far.

But regardless, the deeper kind of meaning, no reasoning, behind this post is myself and my emotions which are ruling me. i’ve never had this before but the past 10 months have been the biggest emotional curveball I have had in my life. My crushes on people have been harder than ever, my fantasy world is basically running on coke at this point and I have bare been able to focus on much except my dating life.

I mean I have known for a while I’m a hard feeler. I fall too quick, and I feel too much. I’ve known this since I developed a crush, which turned into a fever, which turned into a full blown case of sepsis for me. It took over me completely. Took me 3 months to get over him. Since then my crushes have been milder, but with the same intensity. And i guess it could be down to two things really, for the first couple of years of my life, lol life, my out and proud life I never really dated anyone. I kind of didn’t want to.

Initially it was my hoe phase. I needed that out of my system. Then afterwards I got so busy, I did a Masters, I was holding down 2 part time jobs, I was being pulled in a hundred different directions simultaneously. And then I opened the flood gates. I joined the dating apps, I began to look properly, I went on first dates, then second dates, and so on. My heart is playing catch up, It is the emotional heart of a 12 yo girl I think. One who is finally coming to terms that she likes people. And I need it to grow up, to get its act together because if I was being pulled in a hundred different directions before, its a thousand different directions now.

And the second reason could simply be that I’m an idiot. Which is seeming more and more likely day by day. Either way I don’t know how to feel, what to feel and why I’m feeling what I’m feeling. What I do know is I think i’m happy. I’m finally sleeping whole nights, I am slowly but surely making progress and things are curving in the right direction for me. So I’m gunna keep on keeping on, and see where everything goes. I guess in the grand scheme of things i used to think I’m in the drivers seat of the train I’m on but in fact I am simply a passenger on the train I call life. And right now when I lean out my window the sun hits my face, illuminating the bright never ending fields of grass and wheat and barley and the heat makes me feel ridiculously warm. And this is where i want to stay for as long as I can.