#if i don't take notes im worrying what ppl think of me not taking notes

[ashuzu44]

my ex gf posted a pic of me on tiktok to make fun of me since I looked horrible in that picture to the point that if someone saw it they would ask how I'm still alive with this face, and that tiktok went viral and got over 40k views..also people in the comment section mocked me and made fun of the way I look.. :/ she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that and now I literally don't even want to go out cause I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right..I can't even use loa atp I can't get out of this, a lot of people have already seen me and made fun of me. I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed. I just need help

Hi, sending love firstly and also im extremely sorry to hear that people have actually have the audacity to ask and say such things ˙ ✩°˖🫐 ⋆｡˚꩜

I'll try to help my best I can, so if the way I put things come off as insensitive please note that that isn't my intention.

"I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right." - Do you want them to be right? My assumption is of course you don't want them to be right. Why would you?

"I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed." - How have you been trying? Let me say something, if nothing has changed in the past 4 years then its time to dig a little deeper. No more surface level "ill affirm". It's time to go into yourself, your beliefs and what do you think about yourself. Do you think you don't look good? We need to start attack that first and change that cause no way in heck are we taking that belief and say bye- bye.

"she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that"- People can be assholes, absolute dickheads. Insecurity is what we need to touch on. I won't say stop being insecure, of course but how? Well firstly, lets try and understand why. Why are you insecure and then change that reasoning.

I know its going to be hard and painful, but changing deep rooted beliefs is the first step. Don't worry about the time, forget that doesn't exist. Take a deep breath, take a step back and break the way you're going to tackle this step by step. Loa works, it has no choice but to because it runs throughout our lives till we die. It has just been given terminology when it is a concept. It will work. Trust me and more importantly have the grit and determination that YOU HAVE your df. You have it, tell that to yourself NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE IN THIS WORLD SAYS. Because you are the operant power and no one else knows you and can control your decisions.

Hope I could help! Take care <3

xoxo, karina

[gyubasevin]

kim jiwoong nsfw a-z

pairing; reader x jiwoong, i tried to keep everything as gender neutral as i could think <3

rating; 18+!!! minors dni i will hunt u down and block u so hard

genre; smut, maybe a little fluff???

notes; not really proofread, also might make this a series for zb1 legal line?? idk the jiwoong brain rot is real bad for me rn so here i am. (ha get it) also sorry if my grammar or wtv is horrendous im not the smartest im just here to entertain LMAO

a = aftercare: what are they like after sex?

100% showering you in love after sex, jiwoong would refuse to leave your side until he was positive you were okay after talking to you to calm you down. even when he finally did leave it was only to go run the two of you a bath and get something to clean the both of you up.

b = body part: their favorite body part on their body and their s/o?

on him he loves his voice, he always knows exactly what to say and how to say it, its a h u g e flex of his and it takes every bone in his body to not let everyone know just how turned on he can get you from talking alone.

on you he loves your collarbone/neck area?? one of his favorite ways to pass time is running his lips along your skin, loving these places so much bc of how sensitive they are on you.

c = cum: anything to do with cum

most ppl would assume he loves seeing you covered in his cum most and while he does, there's nothing more he loves than HIMSELF actually being covered in YOUR cum. he adores the physical evidence of how good he makes you feel, whether that's you giving him a facial or creaming all over his cock he loves it more than he could ever say.

d = dirty secret: what’s a dirty secret that they have?

he secretly has a thing for spit i think, he often imagines spitting in your mouth or how much he loves the way you drool when taking him in your mouth, adoring the fucked out look on your face that comes with it, he thinks its so cute.

e = experience: how experienced are they?

he is definitely not inexperienced, i imagine he has only done anything with his close lovers and not being really one for hooking up at all. he might just be okay at first but once he gets to know your body, you will wish he hadn't. ;)

f = favorite position: what’s their favorite position?

100% missionary, he loves being bent over top of you with his face in your neck, listening to how perfect you sound in his ear. ofc knowing how crazy it drives him all you can manage to moan out are the sweetest praises for him, how he's the only one who can make you feel so good, how he stretches you out so perfectly, like his cock was made just for you. its your favorite too, so obsessed with him everything down to the way his sweat drips down on your skin drives you insane, your senses being overwhelmed by just him. (i know im down bad.)

g = goofy: are they humorous in the moment?

it can start out a bit goofy at times, but i think once actually getting into it jiwoong isn't ever really goofy unless trying something new you're worried about he might act less serious so you know its still just him, for the most part though no.

h = hair: are they well kept down there?

he keeps things trimmed and tidy but not completely bald

i = intimacy: what are they like during the moment, romance wise?

jiwoong is the s w e e t e s t during sex, making you feel good makes him feel good and he mostly there for you pleasure rather than his own. he sees sex as a very intimate thing and he loves just being there in the moment just the two of you, never letting you forget just how much he loves you.

j = jack off: how do they masturbate?

i don't see him masturbating too often, only if for some reason the two of you can't see each other for awhile. otherwise he figures why do it himself when he has a perfectly good partner who's more than willing to help him out!!!

k = kink: do they have any kinks?

praise kink - both giving and receiving praise can make him cum in seconds flat pleasepleaseplease praise him

voyeurism - he doesn't like to share but sometimes when he is alone he gets off to the thought of someone else watching just how well he destroys you, OR the idea of making you watch him touch himself, squirming in your seat cause you want to touch him so badly :(

l - location: where do they like to do it?

jiwoong is a simple man, he enjoys doing it in the bed 99.9% of the time, although he does like to do it in the shower sometimes if he's really feeling frisky.

m = motivation: what gets them turned on?

i imagine jiwoong gets turned on s o easily, if you even give him a certain look he is suddenly all bricked up and he can't keep his hands off of you, he's not shy to let you know when he needs a hand. his #1 turn on is when you crawl to straddle his lap, he loves when you take control even if its only a little bit.

n = no: what would they say no to?

definitely not into any bodily fluids other than cum from either of you, spit is good but that's about it. he also isn't into anything that would hurt you too bad even if you ask for it he would just kiss your lips and sweetly suggest something less intense i think

o = oral: how are they when it comes to oral sex?

he is definitely not bad with his mouth, but for sure more skilled in the hand department. his head alone is good ofc, but he knows how to work you just right with his fingers and mouth combined he will have you finishing on his tongue in minutes if that.

p = pace: are they slow and sensual or fast and rough?

he is a good middle ground tbh, its not TOO slow but its sensual and slow enough that you can both enjoy the intimacy of the moment rather than fucking into you like a wild animal (which he could also do if you beg him nice enough!!!)

q = quickie: what do they think about quickies?

not super into quickies, would rather just tease you all day long and make you wait until you get home since he knew he himself is fine until then. that way he can really take his time with you and on top of that he gets to listen to you beg for him alllll day long, its a win win for him.

r = risk: are they willing to go the extra mile?

the only big risk jiwoong is willing to take is being caught, like he loves to fuck you in the dorms right when he knows other members are on their way back or something but when it comes to pain for either one of you he is VERY hesitant, he sees sex as a way to feel good so he is more into praise and body worship, things like that.

s = stamina: how long do they last? how many rounds can they go?

jiwoong is the type to make himself last a loooong time and make you personally finish multiple times, rather than go multiple rounds he prefers to tire you out then finish :)

t = toys: do they own any toys? do they use it on themselves or their s/o?

he probably has a wand vibrator for you whenever he REALLY wants to tease you but he doesn't use it super super often, then FOR SURE like a pocket pussy of some kind for when he's alone, he l o v e s to send you videos of him using it when you're apart for awhile just to really mess with you.

u = unfair: do they like to tease?

tease is practically his middle name, he hardly will touch you unless you're already begging him first.

v = volume: how loud are they? what sounds do they make?

hes not afraid to make noise at all but really he is just a groaner, especially when he cums he loves to cover you in kisses and groan in your ear, unless you flip roles for the night and its you fucking and teasing him ohohoh he will whimper for you until the sun starts to rise.

w = wild card: a random headcanon for the character

tbh im too lazy to do this one rn... when i find some kind of motivation ill just post a one shot or something I GOT U!!!!!

x = x-ray: what’s going on under that clothing?

jiwoong is just average length and girth i feel like, 100% circumcised also you cannot convince me otherwise.

y = yearning: how high is their sex drive?

veeeery high, he could easily fuck every single day if you wanted to, he doesn't initiate it very much because if he did then it would probably just be overwhelming for you.

z = zzz: how fast do they fall asleep after?

he makes sure you are well taken care of before he falls asleep, so normally he will be up for at least half an hour afterwards, sometimes more if you just had an intense session.

[cielles-random-vault]

OMG! I love that you included the age regression part in the Hobie and neurodivergent reader thing! It's really cool to see people write for it especially with Hobie! It would be really cool if you could write more for it! No pressure tho! (Your writing is really really cool! /srs)

OMG TYSM ILY I- <3 <3 <3 /p

ofc!! if you want i can try writing it for all characters ? but im scared it'd be repetitive 🥲

BUT OMG I'M SO HAPPY PPL LIKE MY WRITING AAAAAA /pos

so here have a lil fic :3 tysm once again ily this made my day /g /p

sharing a non verbal moment in little space with hobie !

author's note: omg anon you made me so happy you fr got me giggling and kicking my feet in the air /pos

author's note 2: age regression is a coping mechanism often used by trauma/abuse victims in which one puts themself at the age they were when the trauma occurred - find more about it here!

synopsis/content: just a whole bunch of fluff for my new favorite anon <33 reader is a non verbal age regressor and gender neutral 🦅 this won't be proofread 🕺🏻also hobie is the reader's boyfriend <3 aaaand small mention of trauma

you heard some gentle knocking on the door of your room.

"doll? can i come in?" hobie asked, waiting for your response.

seeing you didn't say anything, he gently invited himself in.

as he noticed you playing with your stuffed animals on the floor, he instantly knew you were age regressing.

though you never talked to him about your trauma, he knew what were the signs of you being in your little space, so he tried his best to support you as he knew it was a trauma induced coping mechanism.

"i'm sorry i arrived late at the tea party" he says, joining you on the floor.

you chuckle at the sight of your boyfriend - the punk, careless boy - taking parts in such activities.

you took a small piece of paper and a colorful, shiny pencil next to you and started to write something.

"me.. can't talk.. me is nonverbal.." read hobie. "no problem!" he says with a frank smile. "you don't have to talk if you don't want to, there's really no pressure. do you want to watch some cartoons while i prepare you your favorite food? we can cuddle and fill in some coulouring books if you'd like to?"

you nod and flap your hands in excitement.

a few moments later, your boyfriend got in the living room with two plates of dino nuggets and a glass of vanilla milk and sat next to you.

while the two of you were eating, you excitedly pointed to the tv.

"bluey? is this who you are trying to show me?" he asked.

you nod as excitedly as you pointed out your favorite character again.

"you're right, star." hobie nods. "bluey is also my favorite character. you know why? because she reminds me a lot of you - being so cute and when she's all excited."

you and your boyfriend kept on watching bluey and filling out coloring books for so much time you started to get tired.

"say, isn't my little star getting tired?" he asked as he noticed you started yawning.

you tried to shake your head as a way to say no, but soon after that you started falling asleep on your colorings.

"come on, little one, i think it's time we go to sleep" hobie said softly. "don't worry, tomorrow we will have plenty of time to finish those coloring pages."

you headed to the bathroom, holding hands while he helped you brush your teeth and fix your hair.

he then helped you getting in bed, making sure that you didn't leave out any plushies on the floor (that made you sad) and joined you for some pre-sleep cuddles.

"have a good night star" he says as he softly kisses your cheek. "i love you."

THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE ILY FOR THAT ANON <333 I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY <333

[graysnetwork]

HERMOSA

(I’m in severe need of more Luis fics, and I feel bad for spamming the same ppl but there’s no other ppl who write for him🫠)

Notes— I was planning on the reader speaking a bunch of Spanish throughout the story but I forgot until the end so hopefully it’s okay. AFAB reader. My tumblr also glitched so there might be misspelled things.

Summary— Luis is enjoying giving nicknames to Leon’s partner because she decided to keep her name a secret. But she’s enjoying it too.

Warnings— none, im pretty sure

You, Leon, and ashley ran into the house, breathing heavily because of the rush from running away from the ganados, Leon was mad at the man who had shouted at all of of you guys to come get inside of the building. "You" Leon said pushing the guys against the wall, "listen about earlier!" The man said, you could hear his accent in the sentence

"Yeah about that" Leon mocked him almost, "Ahh, I see you found your missing señorita, and got your partner back" the man said. Ashley walked in front of your "señorita has a name, Ashley" she told him, both you and Leon trusted her to keep herself safe but you didn't know if you could trust this man so you walked up to stand beside her.

"And you are?" You asked, "Luis Serra, encantado" he responded almost immediately "and your name hermosa?" He asked you "that's not important" you told him Leon hummed agreeing with you, Luis looked back at him remembering he was being held against a wall.

"What are you doing here?" Leon asked Luis, "very good questions, unfortunately" luis nodded off to bring all of your guys' attention to the ganados walking through the gate.

“I think we need to continue this conversation later,

I'll get your name later hermosa"

—

Ashley yelled from across the building "Guys! This way, hurry!" You turned to her before turning back and shooting a ganado. Even more started to raid the building so the three of you guys started running out of the house that you guys had been inside.

You guys finally got away from all the zombie, and Ashley began to cough you checked her hand as she looked at it scared, "Ashley, is this your first time coughing up blood like that?" Luis asked her, she nodded in response "you wanna explain something?" Leon asked Luis.

He explained that, what Ashley was experiencing was plagas. Luckily you guys had found out at an early stage so hopefully you could get rid of it from her body.

"So, that's plagas?" You asked, he hummed and nodded his head, you sighed and began to walk away from the group looking around wanting to distract yourself from that new found information.

"We won't let her turn into one of them, It'll be alright hermosa" Luis told you, he assumed you were worried about Ashley, which you were obviously, but you were also worried about yourself.

"Im not just worried about her, I think I have plagas" you said, "what?" Ashley asked, "| started coughing up blood and feeling terrible about two hours ago, I thought I was just disgusted by this whole. situation, but I guess not!" You said shrugging. "Don't worry mi carino, l'll take care of you, I won't let anything happen to you" Luis told you. You smiled at Luis' choice of nick name for you, it was cute and it was nice you were the only one who understood him

If Ashley even had a clue of these names he was giving you she would totally make fun of you, or ship you guys.

But you thought it wasn't anything more than flirting, you could tell that Luis was the flirty type and you didn't think it was anything more than that but knowing Ashley (after a little while) she'd totally ship you guys and tell you guys you were perfect for each other.

But you lightly nodded to him before he began talking again "luckily, we can remove these parasites from you guys when we get to my laboratory" he said, reassuring you that he would get the plagas removed from the two of you.

"Why are you helping us?" Leon asked him, "because it makes me feel better, let's leave it at that" he said plainly.

"how about you come with me hermosa?" Luis suggested, Leon looked at you, he didn't want you to go with him because he still did not trust him and what he was up to.

“Well keep each other safe" Luis said, "he must really want me to go with him„ you thought to yourself “alright then” you said, smiling at Leon trying to reassure him that you’d be fine. “Great, we’ll be in contact” Luis said and began walking away, waving his radio around to show Leon how they would be in contact.

—

“so why did you want me to come with you?” You asked Luis “because, you were infected first so you need to be taken care of first” Luis said looking around, “and” he added “I still haven’t gotten your name” he said smiling.

“You really wanna know huh” you said teasingly, “of course, a beautiful woman must have a beautiful name” he said, his words made your cheeks heat up.

“Hm, I don’t know if I should tell you” you told him, you two were standing in a forest, in the middle of nowhere, flirting with each other. You both knew this was not the right place or time to be doing this but it was fun, plus it gave you a distraction to all the chaos that was going on around you guys.

Although, ever since you separated from Leon, there wasn’t any danger around you and Luis, or at least less danger. Maybe danger and chaos followed Leon around.

“Im kind of enjoying these nicknames your giving me Luis” you told him, you were getting closer to him, and grabbed the zipper of his jacket and played around with it.

“You are?” He says, his voice barely above a whisper, he was getting more red by every second you two were getting closer.

“Mhmm” you hummed, and got on your tippy toes to get even closer face to face. “So I’ll keep it a secret for little longer” you said as you backed away, standing normally again, you patted his chest and continued on your way, walking on the trail you two were following. Luis just watched as you walked away from him, the way your hips swayed and the way you your black cargo pants somehow hugged your figure perfectly.

He scoffed and began following you, taking out his lighter to play with since it was boring. It was quiet, only the crunching of the leaves beneath your guy’s feet were heard, before you asked “so, is this “procedure” gonna hurt?” Luis was silent for a moment before answering “yes, but I’m sure you can handle it”

You smiled at the compliment, but then heard one of the villager’s voice shout “ahí están!” And were met with several others coming your guy’s way, you both turned to each other and you tilted you head meaning you were ready to go, Luis nodded and took the lead, and you followed.

—

You two finally got through the trail after killing the ganados, Luis groaned and you turned to see if he was hurt, he looked annoyed and disgusted “something happen?” You asked, and he looked back at you “they got my jacket dirty” Luis said, you chuckled “we can clean it later” you told him.

“Y’know, usually I would’ve said ladies first but, we can’t risk getting your pretty face getting dirty”

“Such I gentlemen”

—

You two had been walking for a few minutes, about 20 minutes if you had to guess, you had started to feel a bit light headed, you assumed it would go away and it was just a small side effect from the plaga.

But I didn’t go away, and your head was feeling worse every second, so you decided to stop and stand for a while, give yourself a rest.

Luis was still walking as you didn’t have enough energy to say something, he was only a few steps away from you before you said “Luis” weakly

And he turned to look at you, before you collapsed and passed out, he was able to catch you in time before you could hit the dirt. “Mierda, hold on I’ve got you” he said, and got a hold of you so he could carry you.

—

He finally got to his laboratory and opened the door, the squeak of the door opening was able to wake you up, “oh good your awake” he said, you still felt like shit, Luis placed you on the chair before tapping the screen next to it.

“Okay, this is the procedure, se va a sentir horrible” he told you, “mhm, nomas apúrate, I already feel like shit” you replied.

He nodded and pressed the button on the screen and the machine began to move and you finally felt it happen.

It was absolutely terrible just like Luis said but you tried to stay awake, but immediately passed out again.

—

Finally what felt like forever for Luis, you woke up, blinking a few times, but you didn’t feel bad anymore, “Te sientes bien mi amor?” He asked, you smiled at the name and nodded “feel like a million bucks” you joked.

Luis chuckled, and he pulled away from the hug, you sat up on the edge of the chair “so, it’s gone now?” You asked, “yes” he replied, face began to inch closer to yours, tilted at a perfect angle for him to lean in and kiss you right then and there.

You were getting impatient by now, so you grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss, it was perfect, his hands placed on your hips as you wrapped one of your arms round his neck and the other was placed gently on his chest.

He was so passionate about it and you didn’t want it to end, if you guys weren’t in the situation you were in right now, you would’ve stayed there forever, you didn’t want to let go of him, not now, not when you were barley getting to feel his lips on yours.

He pulled away slowly, for the both of you to get some air, you opened your eyes immediately when he started to move away from you, you watched as he opened his eyes slowly, he looked almost as if he was drunk, but also so handsome.

“Y/n” you told him, “Que?” He asked, “my name, since you wanted to know so bad” you said.

He smiled, “so I was right, una chica hermosa tiene un nombre hermosa” he said, and you smiled back at him before grabbing his collar again and pulling him into another deep and long kiss, one that you would not be pulling away from any time soon.

[grievedeeply]

the less time the better. pt 8.

PREVIOUS | NEXT — SERIES TAGLIST

pairing: heimdall x gn!reader

summary: days have passed since the kiss you shared with heimdall, and while you try to figure out what it means for your relationship— the group prepares for war.. and suffers a massive loss.

notes: this chapter is just straight angst. sorry in advance but it was a necessary evil.... ignore any plot holes please..... and also please let me know if you want to be tagged in this series! my taglist is really old and im sure ppl have lost interest, so let me know if you want to be removed as well.

you awoke from your sleep with a jolt. you had never gotten used to the rough feeling of wood pressed against your skin as you slept. even if it was the same material you usually slept on while you were home in midgard, your circumstances were different. back then, you didn't have to worry about a war with one of the most powerful gods in the realms. you only had to worry about what to make for dinner. now, you had much more to think about. including your strange relationship with the god of foresight, heimdall.

a part of you still regretted taking his wrist in your hand that day. it still wasn't that long ago, but you wondered how different things would be now if you hadn't.

the atmosphere was tense in the house. you swore there had been maybe 20 words spoken between everyone. people looked over their shoulder, wary of heimdall's every move. in a way, you couldn't blame them. after all, he was odin's son. the son of the man who had ruined their entire lives, and he had yet to state his side. but he wasn't fighting, either. ever since he had arrived.. you noticed that. he never fought the idea of being used as leverage. after your conversation. you supposed you understood why.

ratatoskr had since found out of heimdall's presence on his tree, and he was less than happy about it. but still, he had remained polite despite his grievances. you did notice how he seemed to be around less, though. you couldn't help but to assume that was due to heimdall.

freyr hadn't gotten any used to him being around, and you didn't think he ever would. he was quieter— less himself. you hated seeing him that way.. but the vote you had made days prior was a fair one. you thought he had trouble seeing him as anything but a member of the family who burned him. he couldn't even see him as leverage.

your father jumped into gear the morning after. he was completely prepared to do whatever was necessary to protect atreus.. and yourself, by extension. you knew little of his time in his homeland. it was something he didn't speak of much, but you did know he killed gods there. he seemed ready to have to do it again, but not at all eager about it.

"none of us are safe, even here." tyr murmured from where he sat at the end of of the table. it was far too small for him, and his knees hit at the wood on the edges, but it was almost a funny sight. "so we have no choice." freya responded simply. "we find surtr, sound gjallarhorn, and bring odin to justice. now."

you glanced uncomfortably over your shoulder at heimdall, who stared blankly at the group from where he stood, leaning against the wall. you watched as his hand fell to the horn on his hip.

"you'd incinerate every soul in asgard and call it self defense?"

"does he ever suggest plans or just crap on everyone elses?" freyr murmured, leaning back against the table in the kitchen.

"the obvious plan is staring you in the face," tyr ignored him, "we don't need odin to use this. we can slip into asgard and do it ourselves, right under his nose. we gain the knowledge we need to shatter his prophecy of war once and for all."

"except— begging your pardon— you don't have a way into asgard." sindri replied.

"they got the big horn, don't they?" brok called out from their working space.

"oh, so you expect them to sneak into asgard blowing a horn that sounds across all the realms?"

"i expect you to bite my blue buttcheek!"

"please. just.. think about it." tyr said.

you watched as atreus sat the mask down on the table. you had let him look at it. he had read the runes, inspected the design.. but nothing seemed to make sense outside of that crack you had told him about that odin had in his basement. your father sat mimir down next to it.

"this mask," he started, picking it up. "the easy answers that it promises. i know this.. shortcuts always have a price."

he turned his focus to you, brows knitted together. this expression that he wore wasn't one you saw often. he was worried. "you have carried it. what do you think?" he asked.

you let out a breath. "i don't know. at best.. it's a chance." you said with a shrug of your shoulders. you didn't know what it was or what it entailed, but you knew it was important to odin. "if nothing else, it's leverage. we have something he wants. if it really gives us all the answers, maybe no one has to die."

"grand. now all we need's a way to asgard." mimir replied simply.

you watched as your father's gaze shifted to tyr, and hesitantly, so did yours. "i know i've been a burden to you all," he started, readjusting himself in the seat, "i know you've questioned why you even pulled me out of that hole. i have too."

he stood, walking around the table. something changed in his stride. you wondered where his sudden boost of confidence seemed to come from. but maybe this was what you needed. "i have too. but it's clear now. this is what i'm needed for. this is my purpose. one last time. i will pick up my spear and.. i will lead us to asgard."

"'scuse me, but if you got a way to asgard, where's that idea been this whole fuckin' while?" brok asked.

"that's.. rather a fair question, brother."

"you.. withheld asgard?" your father asked, pushing himself to his feet. something in his eyes shifted. anger. you recognized that look all too well.

"you would've gotten us all killed. and we needed to give the champion time to find their destiny. here it is." tyr picked up the mask off the table, and you shrunk into yourself. you hated being called the champion. it didn't feel like you, really.

"it's all led to this."

"if we can get inside, i'm going after odin." freya said.

"i will not stop you. we can do both."

"spot on, brother. if the mask doesn't give us an out, we'll still have the drop on him."

"works for me." freyr spoke through his food.

"let's do it, then."

"and quickly, before he sees us coming."

"he does hate surprises."

you looked back over at heimdall, who had silently gotten much closer to you while you were involved in the conversation. he stood a foot or so behind you, brows knitted together. "heimdall," you started, cutting off anyone else from speaking before they even could. "is there.. another way into asgard?"

he looked over at you, then back at tyr. his eyes were filled with something else, something you couldn't exactly pinpoint.

"no." he replied after a pause, staring at the taller god. the rest of the group only stared at him.

"i still wanna hear the details on this, uh, new way to asgard you got. spill it!" brok said after a moment. if anyone knew another way to asgard out of everyone in the room, it would've been heimdall. he wouldn't have lied, would he? was that something he would do to you after everything that happened the other night? you decided not to think about it.

"it's an ancient path. we can't reach it from here." tyr said, moving around brok to continue walking.

"where then?" he pushed, following after him quickly.

"let me collect my things and i'll show you." tyr replied frustratedly. you furrowed your eyebrows together. brok was right. something about this just.. wasn't making sense.

"you ain't got no things. and where you goin' with that mask?" he smacked it out of tyr's hand, and you watched as it went flying. "that belongs to y/n, they earned it! all you done was make passable dirt soup!"

"brok, it's okay." you muttered in an attempt to de-escalate whatever you were watching unfold. "no, it ain't." he responds without missing a beat. "this ain't right. all the pieces ain't weldin' together true. like, what's with him calling you, 'loki,' anyway?" brok asked, turning his gaze to atreus.

now that he had mentioned it.. you had never heard tyr call him atreus. he had only called him loki. the name your mother gave for him to the giants. no one had ever called him loki.

"you know that ain't his name! hey, i'm talkin' to you!"

"do you NEVER shut up?"

you watched as tyr shifted into someone else. odin. his knife dug into brok, completely tearing through his clothing and diving into his skin. the weapon was covered in his blood, and you could only watched as he fell to the floor. "brok!" sindri called, kneeling at his side.

behind you, you could feel heimdall drawing his weapon. his eyes lingered on the scene before him. this is what odin did to people. this is what he would've done to him, had he stayed.

in your state of shock, odin wrapped an arm around your shoulders, the knife that was just used to stab brok held at the skin of your neck. he pulled you backwards, and even though you resisted, you knew it was ultimately no good. would you die here? would brok?

"of all the things.." odin murmured.

"odin." your father said, anger filling his eyes.

"let go and face me!" freya called, sword held in her hand. freyr stood at her side, and atreus at the other. heimdall took a place by your father. despite the risk of your life ending, you stared at him. he was facing his father. he had his sword drawn, his brows furrowed together. this was an expression you had never seen on his face before. anger.

"tell your brother to throw me the mask, and you've got a deal." odin said.

"stop moving."

"freya!" sindri called out, eyes focused on his dying brother. you wanted to sob. you wanted to do anything but be here in the grasp of the man you hated the most.

"if he dies.."

"now, now. wasn't part of the plan. but if he dies.." odin's gaze shifted to his son. "we are square for heimdall. and honestly, you got a bargain."

"i will kill you. plan on that."

"so nice spending time with you again."

"freya, please!" sindri begged, finally looking up at her.

"ah ah ah. can't be in two places at once, frigg."

freya shifted backwards, kneeling at brok's side. freyr stepped over, and with him, so did heimdall.

"hey, i don't move, you don't move. don't do anything you'll regret."

"i regret many things. killing you will not be one of them."

"i am in control here!" odin yelled. "throw me the mask, now!"

you watched as your father's gaze shifted from you to atreus, to freyr. he threw the mask after what felt like the longest few seconds of your life, and you lurched out of the allfather's grasp. atreus leaped at him, taking the form of a wolf as he did so. he was shoved out of the way, and he picked the mask up off of the floor.

"too bad." he said, looking directly at you. "looks like war after all."

as he stepped backwards into the doorway, your father hurled a spear at him. you hadn't seen this weapon before, but that was the least of your concerns. the tip of the spear pinned the mask against the wall, and odin slipped out of view. you breathed out a sigh of relief.. but that didn't last for long. you turned around and the view of brok and sindri together on the floor only broke your heart once again.

"please, you have to save him. you have to." sindri said, watching as freya tried her best to heal him. your heart sank into your stomach. there was nothing more she could do, and brok knew it. "he can't.. you can't.. maybe if i go back to the lake.."

"stop it. i know what you done. and i forgives ya. but y'gotta stop. y'gotta let go."

"brok?"

sindri stared down at his brother, now lifeless in his arms. he looked towards the ceiling, and disappeared.

"this.. whole time?" atreus murmured.

freyr appeared at your side, extending the mask out. you stared at it for a moment, before looking up at him. you took it out of his hands, your fingers pressing against it. you hated this thing. it took everything in you to not just destroy it right now.

"so.. what do we do now?" he questioned.

"now..?" freya repeated. she paused, picking up her sword. "now we kill odin. and anyone who gets in our way."

"atreus. y/n. come." your father said.

"what? where?" atreus asked.

"it does not matter." he muttered. you had never seen him look so.. defeated. you felt it too, but he was always so good at hiding how he felt. seeing him like this only hurt you further. brok meant a great deal to him, and you knew that. he meant a great deal to you, too.

"where are you going?" freya said.

"we are done."

he walked away and you were left standing with everyone else, watching as he turned to the door. you took in a deep breath. you squeezed your eyes closed, but followed after him. you stopped after a second, turning to look at heimdall.

you pressed the mask into his hands. "i'll be back." you said, your voice coarse. your throat felt dry. you wanted to scream. you wanted to cry. you probably would. but not right now.

you turned away from him, and followed after your father and brother wordlessly.

"you can't run away from this, kratos. odin won't stop until we stop him!" freya called after him, but her words were only meant with silence.

he pushed open the door, and you stepped onto the yggdrasil.

tags: @ic-yourface @alisblackgf @engardeitsme @venfia @dijanur @s1mpss @gorepitt @callalillie15 @bluehorizon987 @vanserrar @trippingoverstars @mysiax @beaniebear152 @rei64bit @neverendingdumptser @a-bunny13 @lei-leigha @candy4bonez @yyourmotherr @blobdrake-theory @zarizee @rainygamingstreamingturtle @kise-kae @aesthetic-of-a-director @unodostrescuatrolove @nixeustheclamity @aiciteaa @multifand0m-gal0re @chibi668 @wonderkive @lentillo @luffysoctopus @elizabeth-hatake @black-star1472 @lacm-ac @sxmirae @maggot-baggage @emc2beans @suzumi-hiddenmistclan @white-lyra @lmorg149 @iamverydreamy @giornos-curls @reinabxitch @ourchampionofthesun @paintmekala @the-eternal-sunflower @alextric-overload @lynn-haitani

[berrymoos]

MY BABY MY BAAABYYYY .... YOURE MY BAAABY SAAAAAY IT TO MEEEEEE .... im on s13 of ninjago & he has not left my mind since s1 oughshdjshdj he's so baby

𓂃 ．．🍪🐻🧡🏵🧃

🎂 — regressor cole headcanons!

the rock of the group deserves to have some small time sometimes. what more can i say? rocks can crack too, specially ninja rocks (。-`ω-)ｰ

stress regressor, 100%. he rushes to be the responsible one of the team whenever something goes wrong, worries himself sick over mistakes, pushes himself to make up for them no matter what bc if he doesn't something could go wrong again and someone could get hurt and then his friends won't like him anymore– and all that weight on his shoulders is rough

all of the ninja r his caregivers to some capacity. every single one. all of them r strong too – kinda comes w being elemental masters / ninja n all – so they can carry him whenever they want <33 cole loves it too, they're so cozy (o^∀^o)

i don't think wu or misako know directly, but if cole ever told / regressed around them, they wouldn't be v surprised – like they know smth is up, but they won't confront him bc that's his business

lots of ppl hc cole having a kindergarten to middle / teen regressor headspace & that's SO big-brained, i eat it up every time – BUT baby cole my sweet sweet boy. infant ages to like 2yrs old. give him a rattle; he likes rattles kenwkdek

the eepiest baby ever, partially bc of how young his headspace is, partially bc he's the master of earth – it takes up a lot of his energy when he's big, but since he's so used to it, it doesn't rlly register how wiped he actually is until he's sitting down, his brain is whirling to a stop ... & then it's like “mmnn woa m eepy..” hes also very prone to regressing when he's tired; doesn't happen all the time, but it's become more often than not

(jay has, in fact, taken a picture of a sleeping cole on the couch, meme-ified it w the “why he so eepy” caption , & sent it to the gc. they went loco /pos)

on that note, he can fall asleep p much anywhere: on the couch, on the floor, over a bowl of cereal, literally anywhere. his favorite places (aside from his bed) r his friends' laps <3 he's being held? out like a light

that earth master strength Does Not magically go away when cole is small, meaning his tantrums could cost them a wall & possibly new flooring. not that he has tantrums often bc he's v chill & low-energy!

(... it happened once & jay refused to babysit for a good week. for unrelated reasons ofc /j)

OOUHEJSH loves bears sooooo much it's almost silly. he's got a black bear onesie w ears on the hood, a tiny tail on the butt, & a dark brown teddy bear to match - his fave. "we bare bears" & "little bear" are his go-to shows. he can devour a box of teddy grahams in two sittings. glamrock freddy his absolute beloved. bears bears BEARS bears bears!!!!

kai called himself a papa bear once & cole went nuts jahdkajdkw “’apa bear ’apa bear!!!! ʕ￫ᴥ￩ ʔ” — “yup, that's me, don't wear it out! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧”

ok guys wait here me out: bearcub regressor cole. makin grororgroo noises to communicate. cute little snuffles n nose wrinkles when he smells smth good. loooong naps in a blanket fort. honey added to his bottle. bearcub regressor cole

the teddy's name is muffin btw. he & mr. cuddlywump are best friends & they always have playdates together 🫶

speaking of — jay is older than cole by a few years (maybe 4-7?), so he's consistently playing the older playmate / big brother role for cole. YES he will absolutely drag the baby into mischief, but if anyone dares to try separating them he IS throwing a fit about it. also he's the only one who can turn a laid-back baby cole into a zoomin 2y/o. watch out for them.../silly

back to the rattle thing for a sec – jay has a toy drumset & nya has a toy guitar, so the three of them put on a music show for the rest of the team! they're always asked for encores & they always deliver! their band name is The Mudshockers & kai is their biggest fan👍🏾

he likes dancing but since he's unsteady on his feet the younger he is, sometimes he'll just sway his body o, bop his head, or shake his rattle to whatever beat there is – even if said beat is just in his head. other times he'll get nya or zane to dance with him when he's able to stand!

omigosh wait ,,,, zane picking cole up & bouncing him to the beat ,,,, im gonna MELT they're so cute 🥹

cole adores fuzzy / fluffy material. his element requires him to summon rocks from the ground, & rocks are hard - he deserves some soft things in his life ( =^×^= )/ᰔᩚ if any of the ninja have something visibly fluffy in his presence, they'll very quickly have a small in their lap, nuzzling them & humming contentedly. muffin & his bear onesie r his favorites because of that!

ALSO remember the casual outfit he wore in "child's play" (the ep where the ninja got turned into kids)? he managed to find the adult-sized sweatshirt of that shirt & it's now a staple regression outfit ... whenever he's not in his onesie

he's still got a MASSIVE sweet tooth, bc who would cole be w/o it? (/j) ,, the only difference is that, instead of it manifesting in “oooo chocolate cake & cookies & ice cream!!!” it manifests as “mmm baba w sugar n hunny.....” – not to say cole doesn't have his moments where he craves a cakepop over warm chocolate milk. zane usually is in charge of preparing his bottle bc he always gets it juuuust right

THE NINJA HAVE A BABY BAG IN CASE HE DROPS ON LONGER MISSIONS AAAAA ,,, cole's a lil embarrassed @ first & fervently insists that he won't be regressing on the mission, but it proves to be incredibly useful when he gets hungry in the middle of like, nowhere & there's a section completely dedicated to snacks & drinks

(... & when cole actually regresses bc of stress / sleepiness & they have the majority of his stuff on-hand)

jay can never escape being called a dingus no matter what. baby cole catches him doing something stupid? “ ‘ingus...”. a joke too corny for his taste? “ ’inguuus.” jay complains abt this unfair treatment, how he's being bullied by a baby & he is slandering him ... but no one comes to his aid. zane'll scoop up cole & say “hm, are you sure that was an unprovoked statement on his part?” while kai will just spout nonsense like “wooooow jay ... a power outage in ninjago city and bordering countries?” by your hands?” w/ lloyd n nya just shaking their heads. jay's like “GAAAAAAAASP, NOBODY is on my side??? coco is being a BULLY & you guys are just ALLOWING it???? i see how it is.......”. cole's laughing hysterically throughout all of this 🫶

honestly jay's the funniest person to cole when he's small. he could be being Himself & cole's losing his mind over it. nobody can compete against his hilarity no matter how hard they try. best way to tell when cole's dropping is if he's laughing way harder at one of jay's stupid jokes /silly

mmmhmdhsjshsi ,,, jay coming up w the nickname "coco" & callin him that as a joke while he's big, but cole just gets super fuzzy-brained bc ,,,,,,,, coco ........ ohohohohoh ,,,,,,, & jay is like “oh! mkay then!” now he uses it all the time when he's regressed hdksjdk

ON THAT NOTE, nya came up w "pebble", & just like "coco", it spread to the rest of the team like butter on a warm stack of pancakes. nowadays they very rarely use "cole" when he's small – why should they, when they have "pebble" & "coco" under their belts!

... kai calls him "coco pebble(s)" sometimes 🫢

spoiled to the max. he breaks the handle to his paci? don't worry, zane just ordered 6 more. he loses a stuffie? jay's giving 3 of his to him. he's hungry? nya's got several different flavors of milk in one arm & baggies filled with teddy grahams in the other. absolutely spoiled rotten

he doesn't have any of those fancy deco pacis bc hes v prone to dropping them in his sleep & doesn't wanna mess them up, so he gets the printed designed ones or the plain-colored ones & slaps some stickers on them :] he rlly likes his black-stickered paci but he's not picky!

lloyd loves joking abt how he's no longer the youngest on the team whenever cole drops. he'll walk into the room & say “guys, i'm not the youngest anymore!” without warning while cole's in his arms, half asleep w a paci

sometimes he feels like he shouldn't be regressing bc of his status as "the rock of the group" & gets hit with an influx of negative thoughts. like – he's their anchor, their strength, the glue that holds everyone together when things go south ... so what is he doing regressing of all things? if they don't have a rock, the team won't make it! all of that negativity :( hes prone to pushing down his regression & busies himself w other things until he just ... breaks. wooo :((

after day of the departed (read: cole gets his physical body back), he literally launches himself into his friends & snuggles them like there's no tomorrow in sight. for a good two weeks he's the clingiest baby boy to ever exist: holding everyone's hands, leaning against the nearest person, cuddling, sleepy cuddling – the most common occurrence bc sleepy cole is sleepy. GOODNESS hes so clingy!! if he's in the right (or ig wrong) mood he gets fussy if his human pillow moves away from him kdnfoendk. nobody minds at all; they got their baby boy back & that's all that matters <3

self-indulgent pkmn au hc: cole's midnight lycanroc may look scary (...and kind of is hssjskdje), but it's soooo sweet & gentle with him omg. it has special mittens it puts on its paws to keep from accidentally hurting him w its claws & 100% will help zane make a bottle or lloyd prepare a snack. the fur on its neck is mad fluffy - there have been many, many times someone's walked in on cole with his face stuffed in lycanroc's fur, fast asleep on its back while roc's layin there with him, tail slowly awag <3

[jaozendry]

NEW YEAR SPECIAL: A New Beginning

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x GN!Reader

Warnings: slight mentions of suicide & self-harm

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Summary: After a very hard year, Peter comforts you due to your anxiety: you're afraid 2023 will somehow be worse than 2022.

Author's note: happy new year!! stay strong ppl <33 sorry its a short one today im tiredddd

______________________________________________________________

"You okay?" Peter asks you, opening the door to your room. "I didn't see you at the party." You remove your headphones and wipe away the tears dripping down your face while looking away. He notices your current emotional state and sits down on your bed, caressing your hip. "What is it?" he asks with sincerity in his eyes. "I- uh, I don't know. It doesn't matter anyway." you reply, smiling faintly to reassure him.

He clearly knows that's a lie. Peter knows 2022 has been a hard year for you, both mentally and physically. You've been bleeding out all year, both hypothetically and literally.

He caresses your arm: "I'm proud you made it through this year, I really am." he tells you, slightly tearing up. "It's almost over. Next year will be a new beginning for you, trust me." You start to tear up even more. "But... what if nothing changes? What if I'm still in that mindset? What if I attempt suic-" As you start to freak out and lose control of your emotions, Peter gently puts his hand on your mouth. "Don't say that, please." he tells you, also tearing up and removing his hand from your mouth. "I'm here for you. We'll make it through this year, together." he explains, earning a little smile from you.

"There's that beautiful smile I've been looking for." he says jokingly. "Feeling better now?" he asks, caressing your face. "Yeah. Thanks. I guess I just needed to hear that you'll be there for me. Especially after this year." you reply, holding his hand while he nods in understanding. "We'll have a good year, right?" you ask, wiping your tears once more. "Oh, we will. Don't worry." he says while smiling.

"Come on, they're waiting for us." he says, standing up and reaching out his hand. "I don't think I'm looking too good after bawling my eyes out." you reply in a jokingly sad manner. "Y/N, you always look good. What did I say? We'll have a good year." he says, taking both of your hands. "That means a more positive mindset." he explains, playfully ticking your head while the both of you laugh. "We'll work on that. Okay?" he tells you while you stare into his beautiful eyes. "Fine." you giggle. "Only one drink."

The both of you finally stand up and leave the room. "What?" you giggle while he stops and simply stares at you. He goes for a kiss and you engage back. He breaks free and a few seconds of awkward silence occur. He finally breaks the silence, whispering into your ear:

"We'll have an amazing year, Y/N, trust me."

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[bright-and-burning]

Ooooooooh perhaps a WIP question, if that’s adequate enrichment:

What’s your biggest struggle in ur current WIP?

how weird it feels to write the word cock /j

no but hm. i think it's just like phrasing things? wow eve that's literally all of writing. lol. basically. the problem is that the way i write is kind of. recipe-y? script-y???? (this got medium-long so i threw in a cut. tldr translating visuals to words Hard)

like, i write down the steps. the bare bones. the "he does this. she does this. he says this." sometimes there'll be a random stroke of genius so you'll get something fully fleshed out right before a sentence that is literally just "more description of making out." sometimes i have a slice of baby genius and it'll be more detailed but it will still be Steps and it'll be written like "perhaps uh. [highly specific action or description of a sound that Feels Right] ykwim." this is especially a problem bc when i write i think very visually? so then i have notes that are like "idk rephrase u know the visual." which is actually helpful for me remembering what's going on (i DO know the visual thank u prev eve!) but not helpful for turning it into prose lol

a loooot of the notes i've got littering my wip are like . "[he’s hard now. but phrased more cleverly]" or whatever. bc in MYYY mind im like duh i can See it. i am literally rotating them around like they r in blender studio rn or whatever. i don't need to SAY he's hard or say it Well it's visually obvious! but when i write i have to turn that into FEELINGS. i have to be like ok yeah he's hard. what is he Feeling. is his skin warm. are his toes weirdly numb. is his head swimming is he a little desperate with it is he surprisingly Not desperate with it, whatever. and Right Now i am at the stage where i have to fill in the surrounding bits with Feelings, and then flesh out those simple instructions into something that combines the Feelings and the Actions into like real person sentences.

so i guess like, taking it from glorified choreography and making it prose lol. im always worried that bc i kind of add in the actual descriptions of feelings practically in post while letting the actions flow w a kind of instinctive idea of what's pushing them, that it feels disjointed. so rn it's a lot of Hard Thinking about how to perfectly phrase things so the Feelings and the Actions feel Cohesive.

side note (this is so fucking long sorryyyy) it is actually very interesting how some ppl commented talking abt my writing feeling like, cinematic or evocative, given the above-described writing process fkdjsflaj. maybe it's not because im kind of translating a mental picture but it's an interesting uhh correlation or whatever!!

[easy-revenge]

hey!! idk if tumblr ate my ask, the himeno brainrot has faded or if you just didn’t feel like it (which is so valid lmao no worries) but i would love to hear your headcanons for her!! xx

hiii so sorry !! i actually started answering ur ask when i was on vacation a couple weeks back and then i didnt have enough ideas and put it in my drafts....and to no one's surprise i forgot about it lmao so thank u for reminding me !!

also i can't NOT have himeno brainrot atp don't worry heheh

however im afraid I won't deliver too much on this bc instead of like individual headcanons ive mostly just filled in the blanks that canon left with my own things (often self-indulgent) and made up a life for himeno which i now basically treat as canon lmao (yes this is delusion central)

i will attempt this though but fair warning that a lot of the behaviors and things i associate with her aren't very wholesome or a jolly good time (i suffer daily with this brain)

(cw for mentions of addiction and a lil bit of drugs, i promise it gets more lighthearted after the first few ones lmao)

so, starting off strong, I don't think himeno spends a lot of her time sober. namely, i headcanon her almost always running on some kind of buzz. i think it's established that she handles her liquor well so i dont think it would be noticeable at work, but considering she trained under kishibe for a long time, i can see her having a flask of her own and sipping at it throughout the day.

in the same spirit, i think she would also take any opportunity to properly get wasted. friday nights with aki at her apartment, outings with the people from work etc, especially if she doesn't have work in the morning. i think maybe she believes she's more fun to be around when drunk.

i don't think these behaviors are about entertainment, but rather a way she's found to be more "functional" and able to keep doing what she does and uphold the carefree persona she's established, hence incorporating them into her life to the point of very rarely being stone cold sober.

i think she also doesn't like the idea of her family knowing about how she copes. maybe she doesn't answer her father's phonecalls sometimes, scared of sounding too noticeably drunk at noon on a tuesday. or she's often stressed about her sister's occasional surprise visits in case she comes over and finds himeno's place in disarray and her in a similar state.

apart from alcohol, which is basically canon, i once had a thought about himeno occasionally abusing pills. pain meds prescribed for recovering from a work injury hitting just right paired with some beer on the side one evening and boom yk. i bet it wouldn't be too hard for her, considering her line of work, to get her hands on opioids regularly enough, especially since the story is set in the 90s and doctors used to prescribe them left and right before the amount of patients getting dependent skyrocketed.

to complete the holy trinity of vices, again based on things mentioned in canon, i think himeno is also the type of person to sleep around a lot with distraction being the objective. she has a reputation for getting flirty and handsy with ppl from public safety when drunk and i think that speaks for itself. this is not inherently a vice ofc, but in her case I don't think she engages in this behavior being sound of mind. it almost never happens when she's sober and i headcanon her often regretting it at least briefly the next day.

oof that was a lot lmao. um chill anyways, on a lighter note i have a couple thoughts about her relationship with aki !!

i think it's a habit for them to take care of each other's injuries after missions. im actually writing a fic about aki showing up at himeno's doorstep, bleeding and expecting to be taken care of in his own begrudging, stuck up way lmao. i think himeno is less likely to straight up go to his house for that, but i see them leaving public safety and going home together to shower and bandage their wounds in companionable silence.

additionally to that whole thing, i personally do believe that their relationship could've had a non-platonic side to it, albeit still casual in its nature. leaving that aside, i think they share quite a bit of affection and physical touch regardless, considering how casually we see them invading each other's personal space in canon. so i think they sleep in the same bed a lot, after tending to each other's wounds, or getting too drunk in himeno's living room. i think it took a while for aki to stop being tense and relax into it, but they settled into a comfortable zone and it was sth they both needed more than they would ever admit.

fujimoto once talked about himeno and said that she is the type to leave a lot of her stuff behind at aki's place and u better believe i ran with it. clothes, hair brushes, a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, you can't change my mind. i also think that to some extent it goes both ways. himeno has a shitload of aki's tupperware at her place, from all the food he brings her weekly, and she never washes them unless aki comes over to do it himself and by the time he decides to take some back, there's always more. black hair ties are often littered in her bathroom cabinets and on one of her night stands. a book on her windowsill that aki brought to read before bed once and then never took home.

not to get dark again, but talking about them is bound to make me sad sooner or later :) based on the way she thinks about aki's death in canon, i think she would often panic when thinking about aki's shrivelling lifespan, especially at the beginning when aki had a lot of years to spare and surely used the sword more freely. i imagine her being restless in her bed with aki sleeping next to her, feeling compelled to check on his breathing or his pulse. reach over and touch his hand to feel him alive and warm, hoping it would soothe her to sleep.

i also think she's there a lot of the times aki cries. i bet the first time she saw him was accidental, or at least not a conscious decision on aki's part. i also bet himeno didn't really know what to think of it initially, but soon looked at aki under a different light bc of it. i think aki finds comfort in himeno being in the same room as the tears spill from his eyes after a day of watching people die. and i think himeno loves giving him that, even though it tugs at her chest in uncomfortable ways she can't quite point out.

i feel compelled to but i won't go into the whole being in love with aki situation, because first of all its not even a headcanon but very much there and secondly i will ramble indefinitely about how i think her pining for him would manifest and this is already a huge post god bless

on a slightly different note before i bring this to a close, i like thinking about her bond with kishibe a lot as well. it's not shown enough in the anime or manga, but i imagine them being friends. i think they would go out for drinks but more to talk than get wasted. i think they'd have the capacity to talk about very real things but also nothing at all. kishibe might be the only person himeno talks to properly about aki, aside from her letters to her sister, because he shares the same life as her and inevitably has more space tl understand. maybe kishibe gets to talk a bit about quanxi too.

haha oh well :D that's all i have for now. if u read this far thank you and also im sorry lmao. hadn't sat down to microwave himeno like this in a hot minute i loved getting the opportunity to do it so thanks for the ask anon !! till next time ~

[clownhonkbonk]

to any interested here are my reactions i remembered to write down for the magnus archives in it's entirety :3 it's not too many bUt this is what you get

the episode numbers are written with them!!

ft me trying to understand the story with a great deal of pain writing on my phone in my notes app mostly at 1 am

REACTIONS 👀

56 sub statment thinf w martin

avtually got tears in my eyes. i love you martin. i love you jon. im so happy he just went " avtually, im rather relieved " or whatever bc hell yes girl u are so unwell.

this show is so addicting.

57

OMG 28 DAYS LATER MENTION!!!! THE END IS EXTREMLY FUCJING NEIGH!!! not the reference but excited

spooky.

WAY too attached to them

58

only just skipped the add and " episode Fifty-Eight. Trail Rations" And immediately went " oh NO !! cannibalism :( " and the read the description like LMAOO everytime there's anything relating to food in this podcast i just go " oh no it's cannibalisim "

holy shit it's a woman cannibal, diversity WIN

WHAT THE FUCK I REALISED WHATS HAPPENING WHEN THEY'RE BOTH DEAD

benjamin wtf homie this is NOT good bedroom foreplay

ouuugg auch good writing.

i understand the possible cannibalisim thing now

YES JON OFC THEY R WORRIED ABT YOU YOU DUNBASS IM CRYING PLS

at lwast he doesn't think it's martin as much anymore ❓❓❓❓

i NEEEED to stop going through s1 animatics but QOW this fanvase is awesome i love all the designs.. i used to think martin and tim were the same person for a few episodes

65

honestly hell yeah tim. shout at jon for being weird. but also sike you can't leave.

66

insane.

81

ok im like halfway through this but like so for the deities / entities that r silly

we got

eyes, spider, diseases / insects ( though they maybe different ) and meat maybe???? maybe there's just three..

83

oh oh the guys r all core fears / most common fears, one extra is THE STRANGER OOOOoooOooooO

84

i love you martin for filling in n trying to take over for jon ur such a cutie

idk how much i believe that elias did it but like all evidence does point to that

86

actually love their lil dynamic. cuties.

103

OUUUGH JON WHAT THE FUCK DID U USE UR BRAIN POWERS ON HIM WTFFFFF

104

martin is getting spaceyyyyy uh oh.... be careful bb..

107

jon have you been DRUGGED?!?! (8:00)

jon bb mayb take a break you seem to be like having iron deficiency LMAOO

111

ok we got 14 whores of the universe

1 end - death

2 eyes

3 vertigo

4 the stranger

5 the spiral - madness

6 isolation - fear of being alone / seperated form ppl

7 burning/fire

8 the desolation

9 the slaughter violence

10 the web - also being manipulated

11 the vast

12 filth disease insexts

13 claustrophobia

14 darkness

the meat ❓❓❓

124

OUUUGH HE LITERALLY DITCHED THE RECORDING JUST TO RUN AFTER MARTIN the gays r getting to me

126

WHAT HTEH FUCKKK !>??!?!?!? !??

bro this is NOT therapy. bro ham lukas peter you dickwad what the fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

ISOLATION??????????????????????? WHY IS THE ISOLATION GOD POKING AT MARTIN ?!?!?!?!?!?!??! DICKWAD??!?!?! ?criyng asobbign why

i actually low key love lukas " dynamic duo " is sO funny sjkdjk

martin i miss u come back it;s not woRTH ITTTTTT

fuck i draw jon like trent crimm if he was a twig and gayer and green

131

i physically recalled at the start they've IMPROOOVED their aUDIO... fucking crazy.

also bitches be bitching ( jon AND melane )

honestly fuck yeah helen girl

133

girl is dealing wth SOOO much trauma poor girl........... jeez.

cannot stop thinkin about martin :(

i miss tim.

134

WOOOO MARTIN

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE LEFT THE TAPES FOR JON WTF

the buried / cave

the end

the corruption / filth

the dark

the desolation

the eye

the flesh

the hunt

the lonely

the slaughter

the spiral

the stranger

the vast

the web

135

feeks like they're reading together but w a wall in the way which is sad

142

MARTIN PLEASADEEE

also jon what the fuck please don't be a dick this lovely lade lost her job and gained so much trauma.

143

jon stop using ur thing constantly on people it makes me worried for you and insanely pushes you to not being human.

jon i know she tried to hurt you both but ur being so mean, im WORRIED.

hell YES hellen

144

martin im still upset at you for going " why does no one tell me anything !!!! " while literally avoiding them and asking yhem not to talk to you!!! wtf broham.

anyway loving this story

145

gertrude what a girl holy cow<3

146

IM SO WORRIED ABT MARTIN AND JON GUUUUUUH WHAT THE FUCK.

150

jon u r so self destructive...

151

holy ahit simon fairchild..

154

what the fuck im sobbing what is this good omens bullshit i love it but im crying not really but like heartbreaking????

171

i don't know if jons gonna survive if he doesn't stop getting weird and weirder.

also adorable "is he your boyfriend?!"

" yes actually "

jon what the fuck w u n these flesh flowers

ok hi!! thst was the last one.:3

i didn't write down reactions for further episodes but if we can bring our attention to me writing at some point ( in early season 5 ) in my sketch book " 10 bets jon or martin dies at the end "

[astral-express-family]

ask and you shall recieve!

🔍👀

d... detaaaails...

Wshdjshfjs I should be asleep but I am not bc Them. Also my relationship w/ soulmate aus is complicated but this is one of two soulmate aus I have that have a special place in my heart ^-^

So it's the writing appears on your soulmate's body au bc that is one of my favorite concepts (and it's easy to do w/ multiple ppl wsjfjsj). Cel, Gerda, Kai, Gwyn, and Pinocchio are all soulmates with each other. Each of them has Their Color, which is just what color ink they write in. Cel is red (or purple, but leaning towards red), Gerda is yelloe, Kai is green, Gwyn is blue (light blue, to be specific), and Pinocchio is orange. For a while none of them realize Gwyn exists, as he's comatose at the beginning. When he wakes up, everyone is thrilled to have a fifth member of The Crew, so to speak. Also young Gwyn is VERY confused by the whole thing and it's adorable.

So with the whole Cel, Gerda, and Kai being childhood friends thing they realize they're soulmates fairly quickly. They're all very excited, and talk about what life might be like when they find the other two. Kai's a botanist with a somewhat shitty sleep schedule, so the other four'll wake up to see he took botany notes on his arms in the middle of the night. Secretly he takes his notes normally, he just writes down fun facts he learns that he thinks his soulmates would appreciate (they all always do). Cel writes recipes and doodles random shit, Gerda writes inspirational stuff, and Pinocchio usually just draws hearts. Gwyn, being a prince, will take notes about meetings n stuff he has to do.

Pinocchio turns into an inanimate puppet at the end of the last DP game he appears in, leaving his ultimate fate in-universe unclear. For the sake of my ship he gets better, though I cannot stay consistent as to whether or not to make him a sentient puppet or human whsjdjs. When no new orange messages appear for a while, after a worrying mwssage the contents of which i have yet to decide, they all assume the worst. So I have a very specific scenario in my mind where Kai and Gwyn are playing Hangman on their arms bc Gwyn can't be bothered to pay attention to his meeting. Unrelated but Cel's doodling on its other arm. But Kai puts down seven blanks, only to be startled when orange letters spell out "IM ALIVE" in those blanks. The idea of Gwyn having to pretend like he didn't get a bombshell and a half dropped on him amuses me idk why.

I also like thinking abt it from the outside. One day, the town baker doesn’t hum while they work. The guy who takes care of the forests doesn't sing with the birds in the early morning. The queen only nods politely, with the barest hints of a smile. The king is polite, but closed-off. This becomes a new normal for a while. A few months to a few years. Then one day it's like a switch has flipped, and everything is even brighter than before. The town baker is singing the most beautiful of tunes, and she invites her custimers to dance. In the early morning, the young man sings louder than the birds, but just as beautifully. The queen greets people with her brilliant smile, along with a hug if permitted. And overall the king just seems happier. No one in town knows what caused any of this. They don't know about the death of the unknown but very much loved Orange, or their sudden return.

But yeah eventually Pinocchio finally ends up in the kingdom where the other four live, and is taken into the palace even before any of them realize he's the mysterious Orange. And then it's all just wholesome shit from there. ^-^

[venusruledmuse]

Notes to self as I try to get over my crush:

1. I am okay with people missing out on me.

2. At some point, ur just too exhausted and fed up to care anymore?! He grown, he can do whatever he wants! Release ur grip girl and free urself of the stressing the worrying the overthinking... like at some point its too much I can find someone else who doesn't stress me out like u do and can give me a worry free lifestyle

3. Let fate handle it. As with all things that are true and from the heart, if it's meant to be, fate will find a way. It's more beautiful and poetic that way anyway!

4. Focus on ur skincare routine and studies instead!!! Get ur glow up, get ur value up, get ur price up ✨️

5. What would Choi Hyeseon (from Singles Inferno) do? Acknowledge ur self worth like her and be willing to walk away from anyone!

6. "I can do it with a broken heart."

7. Sometimes... it's better to be the person that is just out of reach.

8. At the end of the day, I care about him, I want him to be happy, and I don't want him to be hurt.

9. Become a shrouded mystery.

10. Pretend ur a heartbroken Chinese empress in ancient times drinking away her sorrows.

11. Sad to see you destroy the image I had of you in my head. So disappointed and disheartening to realize he's not the sweet, strong, self assured, smart, emotionally mature, gentle, thoughtful, lowkey, dignified, introverted guy u had fallen for, who u trusted, who made u feel safe. Such a unique grief im feeling. Grieving the bond we had. Grieving the guy I thought I knew, and the pathetic insecure self centered petty average guy that replaced him. The guy who was my friend. Maybe that guy only lives in my head. Maybe I made him up.

12. Find the humor and lightness in the situation. Like if u didn't have feelings for him, if u didnt care so much about what he does, if u didnt care that he liked u, u would think: is he okay?????? Maybe he needs space...

13. Absence and inspiring/engaging negative emotions of loss.

14. You r a catch, u have the credentials to back it up, you are desirable, you r not constantly just there for him no matter what. never forget ur worth. Put yourself on the pedestal. They prove themselves to you. They are winning or losing out on you. Not the other way around. If ur love is unconditional, then it won't inspire a feeling of losing/winning for him.

15. The moment he makes u feel disrespected and unsafe and anxious. Take away access. Remove yourself from the equation. Friendship privileges (caring) r gone. Take the power back. It's okay if he wants another girl! Wish him the best! He can go! Hope he finds and chases what he's looking for out there!

16. This post below. You are his heart and soul. His core values exemplified. Everywhere else is hollow.

17. He lost: my care, my dynamic aura/humor, the vibe I give ppl, his motivation, and my vision of him. He can't find the universe I created for him (the music, the food, the art) anywhere else. Ya can't fix me into a box. I'm just that girl!

18. Read it ends with us again... both u and lily bloom deserve atlas, not ryle!!!

19. Ickkkkkk

20. He wants a superficial blonde sorority girl, he can go have her! I know who I am and I love my world and my universe my life and being me so that ain't stressing me out. He can go stress out another girl

21. High value women like go aeishin, hyeseon make choices out of self love and have a strong core. They have rules for themselves and others and they do not bend those rules. They stand on business. They command respect and so attraction.

22. Recognize when someone is toxic for ur heart and health. Pulling away from him is an act of self love.

23. Disillusioned with his image of me. I'm smart, I'm talented!!! There's a toxic pattern where he likes a girl that feeds his ego, that is a people pleaser, that is a hopeless romantic, that centers their life around him. Why does he never compliment her talents, her skills, her capabilities? I want respect and admiration, not attachment.

25. "If u don't speak up for yourself, they'll think ur stupid." -sza's grandma

I'm nobody's fool. Im not going to be remembered as someone who wasted their time on him, just for him to say he is no longer attracted. Im not going to have a boy crazy reputation. Im not there to stroke his ego, for him to get off on my devotion. I'm not a footnote in his life as an epic hero. It's my dreams. My goals. My wants. MY loves. I'm the main character. I'm the it girl. I'm that bitch.

26. Affirmation: I don't want him, I am out of his league, he is not up to my standards. His petty trivial games is giving insecure NPC... its below me. A girl destined for big things don't have time for the small shit to get her down... let the players of stupid games win stupid prizes, I've got bigger missions

27. Hated the way he described the women in his life. "She was alright at soccer" everything was always in relation to him, he never described the women as goated, the only girl he truly respected seemed unattainable to him.

28. I love myself and my life and a man should fit into it, and enhance and upgrade my lifestyle, not make it worse. I should not be contouring myself to fit into his life. I will not blow up my life to be with him.

29. I'm that girl. My vibe is addictive. He craves my attention. Call me dust the way you will return back to me.

30. Remember yumi's cells.

31. He said "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife" omfg....... he's literally so fcking shallow and toxic.

32. He said a girl was into him but he wasn't into her.... literally all girls r just ego boosts to him

33. I'm tired of exhausting myself over him. He likes girls chasing after him but I will not be blowing up his phone.

34. Crazy how easy I fall out of love when I lose respect for someone.

35. U r allowed to outgrow ppl.

36. This boy made u so sad u went home in the middle of the work day. Like ... be ur own protective older sister. Connecting with him is self sabotage girl.

37. He hurt me so bad that he singlehandedly cured my people pleasing tendencies, be unapologetic in my decisions and doing what's best for me, helped me stand on business, learn to say no and be inaccessible/unavailable to people, be more strict and disciplined with myself, value my own feelings/needs, stopped always being on the losing end, care less about what people think of me, stop chasing love from ppl and instead seek respect, prioritized my own personal appointments, and focus on my competence, inner confidence, and internal validation. I gotta treat myself well and not tolerate bare minimum and bs from myself in order to not tolerate that shit from others. From now on I am high maintenance.

38. What a privilege to be a character that experiences my love and attention, to be seen from my point of view. What a privilege to get to have the sue experience. Not everyone gets it.

39. "It's only because you love them. You are their source of power."

[captainaikus]

hi belle!! tulip here, you might've forgotten me since i haven't interacted in a hot minute 😓 i wasn't able to send you asks because of school (and life in general 🥲) so i apologize for that! anyway—how are you? i hope you're doing fine especially with all the assholes you had to deal with on this site recently :( i understand why you want to move to ao3 and 100% support your decision. it's true, some people are just insensitive and toss others' feelings aside. i wanna curse the shit out of all the immature people who picked fights with you for extremely absurd reasons. i'm happy that you've decided to publish your works elsewhere since tons of pricks made this site shitty and toxic for you. the anons being rude as hell and making hefty demands doesn't sit right with me. they need to understand that you're human too, you aren't required to overwork yourself just for the sake of others. if i'm being honest, i think you made the right choice. don't let those idiots get the best of you though, i hope that ao3 will be a better place for you! i'll make an account just to support your works whenever you decide to publish them ღゝ◡╹)ノ that aside, please get enough rest and stay hydrated <3

– 🌷

Tulip!! Hi!! (≧ω≦)

Ofc I haven’t forgotten about you! In fact - I keep getting reminded of you when I listen to heaven and back or chase Atlantic - and a Kaiser based piece on that is in my head.

(I remember all my anons pretty fondly <3) The amount of wips I have in my docs that ao3 needs to see once they’re completed (working on yandere rin and 2 surprise characters) ಠ_ಠ

Don’t worry about it! Life gets busy sometimes and priorities right? I’m doing good! Working on assignments and projects, getting good grades and working out - just doing everything in a balance.

Feel free to skip rant -

And honestly? My move to ao3 is doing good cause I’m taking things to my pace and it’s more relaxed than tumblr - cause it’s very chilled out.

Apart from anons and my works getting flagged down, even the author community isn’t doing too hot - mentioned it in one of my reasons; I find tumblr to be a very unfair platform. Authors that have built a huge following in other fandoms, get into small spaces and cause of that small time writers get overshadowed since these authors are given more pref yk? It’s one thing to be a multi fandom blog and build more content for a small fandom - but overshadowing small time writers? I’m not very supportive of that. And before someone point fingers, I’m not trying to be the toxic gatekeep of a fandom, but what I’m trying to point out is that the system here is unfair. Smut (and literal Twitter porn links) are given more pref than actual writing and in my case I have a heavy leaning towards the plot of the story compared to smut cause that’s where true writing for me lies. And I found content like that on ao3 so I figured that I’d move there :3

On another note, white knighting behavior from both - authors and readers has made the place toxic cause of never ending discourse. I just wanna have fun with my writings and share them with ppl who wanna read it and talk about what they liked about and didn’t with constructive criticism… so yea moving to ao3 seemed like a good idea and I’m glad you’re in support of it cause it can be an inconvenience (>﹏<)

I Hope You’re taking care of yourself too <3

(I drank a lot of water so im hydrated (o^^o)

[night-faye]

Don't worry about it :) 50% of those asks is me flipping alongside you on those scenes, 50% is sharing something new. That suspicious time-skip and white tail is the most interesting imo. I AM ALSO THINKING ABOUT IT ✨ 🤝 😁 Truly something evil you can do there as the infamous drill person...*backs away slowly* There is SO much LMK content to catch you up on between videos and fanfics. *sigh* I'm gonna have to hunt down so many fics for you eh? Luckily I have some author names I can toss at you before finding the individual one-shots around. That ought to keep you fed for a month :D alright time to zoop the final. Thankfully Macky hardly shows up in S4 at all so I can take a nice nap from talking about him. *cue sounds of Faye going *WHAT* it's okay because when he does, it's quality and carries weight ^_^ start and end, that's all you're getting <3 but 👀 you get some sleep. you're going to need it for the ~ flashbacks ~ for ~ baby ShadowPeach ~ the wittlest, fwuffiest I say. What a long journey, now you finally get some context rewards! But only half. Suffer with the rest bc we're STILL waiting. 1) LOVE the slo-mo freeze frame on Wukong reaching out and everything bursts into flame! Too little too late, and YES for pausing there because sure, Macky was frosted over more than an 8 year old's birthday cake, but?? blue chains??? perhaps attached to his spirit 👀 hey, did you know LBD actually possessed Bai He pretty close to Macky's theatre? like the literal next door alley because of that glowing neon sign. What if she was looking for Macky? What if, instead of a 2nd compass, this is how she could always find him? He was literally tied to her even before the ice. oh great, now I'm thinking about cryogenically frozen monkey corpses again. but note: one of the chains higher up. if you're delusional, there was a chain on his neck too. now also NOTE 👀 the way Macky instantly looks at both wrists, say. hey hey hey do you think he always felt those chains on him. he's been walking so funny lately, do they drag on him. yes he IS so happy 🥺 first genuine glee and respite after so long, and I think the line weight in his eyes changes or something here. they flicker in some way. 2) MY FAVORITE SCENE HELLO TRAUMA BELOVED OHOHO WHEN CHARACTERS ARE LIKE THIS TO EACH OTHER IM SCARFING DOWN THAT POPCORN EVEN FASTER 👀 when trying to beat up another guy isn't just rough for the heck of it but instead a cinematic narrative into their twisted relationship and psyche, that is beautiful. Idk I can't explain, it's like when ppl write deep meta about conversations one guy has holding a knife to another guy under the chin and pinned to the wall. sometimes it's with a sword. but with more trauma and past history. Wukong is SO angry, and Mac-quackers what were you YAPPING about trying to fight him if this is how scared you get? Better yet, how did you let MK convince you into fighting the one guy capable of and who HAS (quite possibly) killed you and the one demon who tortured you this whole season. Oh speaking of. We kinda 🤔 wonder if LBD literally revived Macky in S1 sometimes since his ep is right after skeleton key, which would be wild, but recently I wonder if LBD was expecting to lose to Wukong since "when the time came" and was waiting for a future comeback, so maybe Macky died/revived BEFORE the Monk sealed her? but then we wonder what he's been doing all this time. he wouldn't be doing *nothing* for centuries and it's been said that he "suddenly came back." So odd indeed. fun fact: after LBD in JTTW is when Wukong leaves to find out that Flower Fruit Mountain burned down, killing many of the monkeys :) :) :) anyways. 🫡 shout out to the fics who have possessed Wukong kill Macky. bro knew what he was doing and walked in anyways. Mr. "I will do anything to stay alive."

3) that gasp :O and "oh I effed up" escape and then getting YOINKED out of his own shadow???? That was COLD. and by the NECK- WUKONG MY GUY. The way he rears back his fist!! the darkness cast over Macky's face as he stares in PTSD, how he shuts his eyes and turns so the one that is ALREADY BLIND gets hit instead. oh right, still gotta write blind Macky fics. but WHERE is that ~ bravado ~ nah, at his core. Macky will crumble when Wukong is genuinely ticked. I wonder how slow his teleporting is, it was so fast with MK you'd think he was letting himself get punished but he seemed too honestly scared for that. ALSO the way Wukong's fist shakes, the tentative way Macky opens one eye heyyy its your buddy Tang to the rescue XD the UGH way that Macky is WHEEZING AND TWITCHING straining my ears to see if there's little noises, he's shaking and Wukong gets angry hearing LBD maybe he gripped his neck tighter, and he just stares and watches Macky squirming in his grip like the pathetic flea he is and then just COLDLY DROPS HIM LIKE AN OLD BAG OF FUR. the plop sound as he hits the ground like a puppet with the strings cut off! And Macky never leaves. Doesn't even back away from Wukong, and mm 👀 here come the faces. strike 1 when Wukong is explaining his *actual* plan. yeah your crazy ex-friend would do that huh. I mean you did say he didn't have a real plan anyways 😆 but it's another thing hearing it from him. a thousand years, and still the same. SPEAKING OF. *knock on door* *opens letter* Yeah alright, I'll wait until the Special to return to this episode. Beautiful stunned look and slow blink at the "we're heroes! it's what we do!" hero speeches making someone's brain explode never gets old. CLEARLY thought something during that instant back step teleport. Sadly I think Wukong's style of jumping off a cliff onto his cloud arms crossed was cooler </3 but ngl, Macky's fighting style is pretty slick next season. and the next. he's so TRIPPY. and Wukong's scream as MK throws himself in danger and the LOOK afterwards it has LAYERS almost like you just watched someone succeed where you failed which ahahaha is literally this entire episode ngl, that's why ShadowPeach is flipping so much with their expressions. what did I say before? oh yeah, so we think their fight happened **after** the journey, so it's confusing to wonder how LBD could have revived Macky while sealed. Hence the S1 theories. Iirc it was the lack of circlet on him in the flashback but hey! these are biased! hence that brief angst genre of memory manipulation fics.

(I am very much looking forwards to the fan content holy shit 👀👀👀)

[sincelastsession]

FUCK MY NEIGHBORS

They turned over all my planters now and I have NO PROOF but NOBODY else that lives here would do that. They know I have spoken to the SWAT sheriff twice now and he believes me and is on my side and all but the fuckin office will not listen to his expert advice to put a safety camera up at the pool area and he doesn't think I should have to put cameras up. Like there was a literal drug dealer that lived there before and was WAYYYYY quieter and chill and kind. My neighbor Darlene also a black woman with her one child has described these people as "ratchet" and told me they could not be reasoned with and want me to confront them and will likely keep bothering me tillthey get caught or I move out. I haven't checked my car but I fear they have fucked with it too. There's no cameras ANYWHERE on the premises. They want me to get a camera. I do not have it in my budget to get a cheap camera to put it up to deter people that should know what courtesy is as it isn't a fucking hard concept to understand.

I'm having fucking heart issues and a ptsd flare and autistc burnout from hell and god fuckin knows what else and now I can't fuckin sleep because ppl gotta be all in my fuckin plants to get back at me and FOR WHAT.

The pool was pristine and empty and they could have gone swimming despite the notes we all got. But no they chose to wreck my shit.

I do not give a damn if the pool is packed like a tin can and people swan dive off the balcony as long as they keep it down because I live here along with 20 other apartments with residents in just this area.

I don't know why they think it's just me calling because my neighbors do too.

This is fucking bullshit.

I do not need this stress.

I want to be financially independent but right now I NEED my parents to move me.

Fuck I mean I even told them i'd stay in a studio with essentials for a while if they could pay for storage but every safe area studio starts at 800-900 and I can't swing that by myself either.

I do know one person looking for a good roommate to live with and im going to ask my parents about a 2br 2bath place and let her just pay less rent to give em a break. Idfk what else to do. Maybe they will agree and she will be thrilled to move in. I dunno tho because she has her kids on the weekends but i know she's not terrible.

It's almost impossible to speak with my dad. He was an embarrassing ass coming over here and i told him not to touch the plant massacre and he moved shit before the officer could take goddamn pictures.

Then as I'm done sweeping up while the officer stood there because I was terrified feeling like as soon as he walked to go back home and my dad left the fucking neighbors were screaming laughing at "that white bitch sweeping up all the dirt was so funny"

I was super upset and Travis is like "Yeah you need to move" and everyone is like "yeah you should move" and ive been calling places and literally every place even the ghetto is "too expensive" and I have offered to try and put money towards various things if it will help me move faster.

I do not have another adult to cosign a lease with and being on SSI I can't sign a lease myself currently and if I could get a housing voucher the areas they are in aren't any safer and they do not allow animals no exceptions.

I don't have an appointment with you for next week. This is VERY DISTRESSING. I need to maybe have a check in if you have the time to call briefly. I don't know what to do and I don't know if im handling any of this well and im scared to leave my apartment now.

Like I do not care if it was just planters. It has been TWICE now.

I'm not crazy and they are doing shit to fuck with my head and damaging my property and because I have no camera money they are getting away with it. Plus there is nowhere to mount the damn cameras. I cannot run a cord or mount without like a professional install.

Fuck this.

I just want to live in peace and heal and have a life without worrying if i'm going to wake up to more shit broken or worse.

I legitimately almost had to go to the fucking hospital b/c my bpm was tachycardia when I checked it with my EKG tool. Had to CHEW my anxiety med and resist barfing to get it to kick in faster.

I'm sweating like hell from stress. I keep being unable to speak at times. I am getting MORE fight or flight urges and the coping mechanisms aren't doing shit currently.

I can smell someone smoking cigarettes outside my apartment but I am too scared to open my door and look.

No just fucking NO NOPE I FUCKING CANNOT THIS IS NOT OK. I go through enough already.