#if i did i wouldnt want to. yknow. die all the time

[vagueiish]

look, i cant even strike up conversation and begin forming connections with people i indisputably have things in common with and who (ostensibly) find me agreeable (or at least not disagreeable enough to unfollow/not follow back) under the thin veil of semi-anonymity i have on this hellsite

how am i meant to find My People in meatspace if i cant even figure out how to do that here?

[gibbearish]

a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet

[al-luviec]

I ran out of tag space but oomf had some good notes

smthn easy for today (sorry)

[socksandbuttons]

i love ur bloodmoon thoughts sm and i agree with all of them ‼️‼️

they squandered his character sm and theres barely been any development since he got brought back to life… especially on the KC side. id love to see how youd rewrite it tbh- or if you want feel free to just use this ask as a bloodmoon thoughts dump

ALRIGHT SO We can run along with bm2 But also them going 'no their NOT the original thus we dont need to think about their charascter' as they seemingly established a bit with that but also not? Like that kinda furthers BM's whole arc of being treated like a murder machine (he was LITERALLY rebuilt for that, nothing more than tool!), and yet instead of USING THAT (which like.... we kinda got a bit of that with Eclipse, no i wont get into that.) they go 'HMNNN no, we dont wanna develop this further hes just villain' LIKE. SURE. ALRIGHT. BUT... YOU LITERALLY HAD SO MANY SET UPS WITH LIKE... His weird attachment to monty that one TIME yknow the 'hes my dad!' even tho hes not and its very debatable with Eclipse and KC depending how you wanna go about it (In terms of WHO made bloodmoon its Eclipse whos derived from KC and Moon and SUN.) Where was I YEAH HIS THEME OF NO ONE IS FAMILY BUT BLOODMOON. Only THEY understand that theyre not a tool or worthless! (Yknow just completely missing a way to use their codependence to help further their own coping of SEVERAL THINGS.) Yet he still STILL seeked out and called KC father, he still somewhat has thoughts on family. He's going after EARTH who's just vibin' trying to be accepting, even jealous of LUNAR for 1) being brought back and two) survived Eclipse and lives happily (sorta) and while begrudgingly i must say forgot bloodmoon. (WHICH LIKE. THATS THEIR OWN FAULT FOR NOT DRAGGING LUNAR INTO THAT PLOT EVEN THO HE HAD ALL THIS BLOODMOON INFO DURING THAT WHOLE THING. not used it ONCE. they purposely left lunar out of that and thats annoying. chaos sibligns 4 lyfe) Anyway you COULD so still use that in regards to Sun trying to reach out to them ('I wouldve loved another brother' will forever be brought up. also literally in the same convo sun does admit hed kill em again but WE'RE FOCUSING ON THE FAMILY PART GUYS) I'd have to scrap some like... lets see here.... UmMM i CAN use the attacking lunar thing still. Cause whole jealous thing they didnt understnad their own thoughtS (THEY THOUGHT MONTY WAS THEIR PARENT WHICH LIKE??? a stretch honestly. cmon we know this. theyre definitely making their own excuses) iDK ABOUT attacking earth, cause by that point everyone is kinda dead set on murdering them its actually pretty bad by that point unless KC comes back jesus style and goes 'NO. I'll handle this' proceeds to drag bloodmoon off into the desert for family bonding time (and rehabilitation.) Which he wont but we also gotta remember Bloodmoon is deliberately being used a scapegoat (despite yknow... he did DO all that by his volition still like he WOULD NOT have gone after kc like that if not for ruin going 'hey u wanna see ur dad who totoally didnt care for ur ass' or 'you should totally go kill a bunch of people. and then threaten lunar and earth BUT WAIT no killing ill shock u!' im losing focus but THEY WERE... sort of going somewhere with Bloodmoon not wanting to be a tool. AND having solar interfere (I still hate that whole 'he reminds me of my moon thus he must die'. Retcons... everywhere. Remember when he wanted to save his moon?? yeah? cool cause ill never forget that actually.) KC dying actually WOULDNT have been so bad (aside the... suddenly being an ass about it. But he was direct to bloodmoon about 'BRUH UR BEING USED.' and them never actually... bringing that up too much) angering BM enough to kill KC is actually pretty solid way to use the whole 'Bm not satisfied with Killing' as a very direct way KC's words last on BM especially BM's whole unstable emotions of NOT understanding the feelings theyre going through because of that other than anger (denial, grief, confusion and conflict of how Hurt that mustve been they wanted more family) oh this is getting long and im losing focus.

[malwaredykes]

ma'am give us the catherine boone lore, please i beg of you

well *smiles shyly*

in case its not clear she is Boone the companion in fallout new vegas but after realizing some important things about herself

which is something that started out as just me having this sort of loose “wouldnt it be interesting” idea but then @fallout-lou-begas and i spent days digging into how well this actually fits boone's narrative. boone being an egg i mean. starting from simple things that dont Necessarily have to mean anything but definitely add up, like boone going by last name only, or being the least talkative companion by far (do you not like the sound of your own voice, boone?), all the way to like. the general Long-Unaddressed Dysphoria Hopelessness, the sense of having no future and no autonomy and no power to change anything. there's a lot to go through here but there's just this constant vibe of being a lost cause, of feeling like things can only happen to you as you move through life detached and disconnected and numb, and of not having the words to express any of that, not knowing how much of that can even be put into words or given any meaning or solution, because something is always missing, something big.

so. i think leigh suddenly appearing in boone's life had one hell of an impact. still took boone a long time to understand why and that it was okay for her to “want to be like leigh” and so on. but yeah, ive mentioned before how it adds a whole new layer to the fact that boone just followed this strange woman into the wasteland and became so ride or die for her. and how she felt that she and leigh had been destined to meet. in fact boones dialogue thats like “maybe its you i shouldve been expecting all along”, “i knew i was supposed to follow you the day we met” just kind of hits harder this way Im Not Gonna Lie. like, yeah, narratively in the game its suppose to be about boone's guilt, but... theres this overarching mindset that boone has... similarly to how boone's not liking to talk definitely reads as a neurodivergence thing, but also.... could be more than one reason.. there are Usually complex/multiple causes behind such character-defining idiosyncrasies yknow

i might write/draw something about the moment boone starts to piece things together and Realizes and tells leigh. and even though boone had been shaking like a leaf about the prospect of telling her, leigh is of course very very happy to help her and support her. shes happy she gets to be there for boone and get to know her even better than she already did.

as for the name, honestly catherine just kind of came up. like it just came up and immediately sounded right. she can go by cat and thats very very cute.

overall catherine is like… well shes just very lovable. shes definitely a LOT happier, she actually smiles and laughs, and feels a lot more grounded and present. and hrt makes her look very soft. and she grows her hair out to where its this like, fluffy mullet situation. and leigh falls for her because she already liked boone a whole lot, they were besties/worsties who had seen each other at their lowest and were very comfortable with each other, and seeing cat be this content and radiant and cute… she was Defenseless. Oh, This Lovely Woman Has Been Right In Front Of Me This Whole Time. shes crazy. cat youre gonna get sooooo kissed.

so. yeah. it IS ocXcanon with extra steps. and i love it. i love you cat boone. theres so much to her and so much i could say and so many layers to her new hopes and dreams after so many years of dreary soldier-conditioning dissociated i-am-made-for-a-purpose loneliness. but i wanna convey it properly thru art and writing i think.

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[coldresolve]

You probably get a million of these but your story is absolutely perfect in every way and holy shit. I did NOT expect that to happen - although i did expect that there will be an attempt, but not carried out successfully, iykwim.

Damn renee. I hope he will be fine 🥺 poor little guy. He needs a good old hug.

And imani comforting conrad was the most delicious scrumptious moment in this chapter for some reason, she is just so pure and wants to help </3 awww i love it.

And like, jesus, i could talk about this for hours and days and weeks but damn it, i cant wait for the next chapter, it will be so interesting to see how emergency services react?

And damn shaun is so professional holy shit idk why i love him too!!!!!! He is so good and so “detached” but he still cares and doesnt want anyone to die. He has his rules and morals but its not like the “youre a bad guy you tortured someone i will let you die” but “youre still a human being worth saving” eventho he most likely knows what renee did… well he definitely knows, he seems like the type who puts the pieces together fairly quick but doesnt like to mention it. Just aware of the picture without interfering. Or idk if i got that wrong, thats just how i saw him, and i love his personality.

Well i love all your characters’ personalities and yeah, please please never stop writing, im absolutely blown away and you (and M.M.) inspired me to get back into writing! So thank you for that. Youre an amazing human being and your story helped me more than you can ever imagine. Sorry for the rant i cant contain my thoughts anymore.

asdfkjh thank u nonny. its wild to me that theres been so many ppl saying ive gotten them back into writing, i think thats genuinely the best compliment i could get. go for it man, theres so much meaning in it

also small ramble time

shaun is kind of an interesting character yea. hes a black market doctor and i didnt want to go the route of 'he's just in it for money'. so i had to give him ethics thatd allow for treating people regardless of the abhorrent things theyve done, and staying neutral to the suffering (and possibly death) that those same people might cause down the line. so yknow, if he wants to save lives that'd otherwise be lost because these people won't go to regular hospitals, he has to stay neutral, because otherwise they wouldnt come to him for the treatment they need. he has weighed the here-and-now suffering of the people he treats and concluded that as a rule it has to be prioritized over possible-future-suffering. and it all results both in shaun being complicit in conrads torture, and doing what he did in the last chapter

idk how explicit im gonna get with it in the coming chapters and its not a huge spoiler, but like. this whole event has definitely made him reconsider his approach, cause suddenly its not so black and white as neutral-professionalism-saves-lives. suddenly his lack of intervention allowed the circumstances that resulted in three deaths. and how often has something like that happened throughout his career where he just never found out about it, yknow?

[oh-snapperss]

oh god it got gayer. haha etho now RENS taking off YOUR armor. in the most HOMOEROTIC WAY POSSIBLE

etho can try to say that hes not crushing on ren but the only one hes fooling is himself, but sir. can you at least. not ignore poisoned stab wounds. yes you took it so ren wouldnt have to but REN DOESNT WANT YOU DEAD EITHER

i loved this whole chapter so so much. etho learning (trying at least) to let himself be vulnerable with ren, ren taking care of his injured crush second in command etho, etho at the very end realizing hes going to have to put his armor on in front of ren in the morning,,

i alternated between going "aww, theyre adorable", "these fucking idiots", and cackling madly the whole time i was reading. I am so incredibly excited for the next chapter

great work! (@hitheeprithee :D)

YEAHHHHH listen this entire fic did start off with me stumbling into my discord channel in a server and going guys guys guys. rentho knights and armor removal. so we HAD to have it go both ways yknow!!

Etho taking that poisoned dagger was SO important to his character. There's a line I think about in line with it from the first chapter:

Sixty steps left. Etho will die for his king one day. This is a fact of life he has known since he was merely a page, and a part of his soul that he’ll never abandon. He’ll die for his king, and do it with grace. 

I think to Etho, taking that dagger wasn't even a question. We see it in his mindset from the start--he will die for his king one day, and to him his duties and care for the king supercedes his own needs, even to the point of not going for a medic immediately for help. It also plays into him trying so desperately to keep those walls and invulnerability up, because if those walls go down... he's less than Ren's hand, or the soldier who will die protecting his king.

In reality he's more than that, of course, but that's just his thinking.

As far as the armor in the morning goes... ehehe. Idk idk i think that it's a little mortifying for Etho to think about. Not only is he gonna walk past all the soldiers without his armor, they're ALL gonna know it's in the king's tent, which really adds to that feeling of vulnerability and weakness that Etho just HATES in this fic.

thanks so much for the ask EEEEE it really made my day:D i'm gonna tag @hitheeprithee to make sure xey see this cause i have no idea how tags within an ask work LMAOOOO

[v1vian-th3-f4nfic-wr1ter]

Pastor Jeff x Reader HCs (Crackfic??)

General Themes: Religion, Aftercare/Implied Sex, Cuddling, Kissing, Angst

Authors Note: Obession 1# in young sheldon, not kidding, maybe dr linkletter or hagenmeyer but he is number 1# (though connie is a good runner up)

Fluff

Anyways hes a religious man, he is a pastor so expect him not to be home in the afternoon unless you work with him, he is also goes on church retreats often so expect alot of alone time, though that doesnt stop any affections from him, he always calls you to make sure you are safe and okay because he loves you more than Jesus himself

But when he has his day off? Expect sex, he is a pastor but when he wants it, he wants it, also very gentle mind you, also he is very clingy afterwards, loves you and your body is just a plus to him, anyways he gives the best aftercare, sometimes he doesnt even take care of himself, he wants you to be comfortable, though when you dont want to, hes chill with it but makes up with it by being overly affectionate

Speaking of he loves kissing you anywhere when you want, how you want and where you want, he is also very big on consent, if you dont like touching, the most he will do without asking is a hug or a chaste kiss on your cheek really, but when you allow him to kiss you passionately, he will pin you to the nearest wall and hold your neck, that is if you are married, if not dont expect it much outside when he asks or when you are engaged

Cuddling this man feels like hugging a warm and soft stick/twig, i imagine him to be thin and slim but also tall and has long limbs, especially his arms, he could wrap his arms around you twice around your waist if you are small enough, speaking of which he finds it cute youre shorter if you are, he loves picking you up when you allow him to

Also loyal as can be, wont even look at a woman unless its for work or something important ot just yknow being the pastor, he will die by you or die before he even thinks of cheating, if you break his heart, its fine, as long you are happy and live peacefully

Semi-angst

If you ever cheat on him, he wouldnt do anything, he would just let it happen and wont bat an eye, but the bottle isnt large enough to hold his feelings, eventually he will explode at you and it will always end with you breaking up or divorcing and you moving out, and him drinking his heart out until he passes out and forgets the night, it haunts him forever and will probably stay single until he dies

He wouldnt complain if you did something to him, just as long you didnt bottle it up, he will take it to his grave, even if it hurt him, he will suck it up, he loves you too much to let go of the fleeting feelings of love in general, hurt him as much as you please, he wouldnt say a thing

Hes insecure of himself all around, low self esteem and all, he knows he shouldnt envy others for having your attention, but he just have a gut feeling he csnt get rid of that you will leave him some day and leave him all alone by himself, thats also a reason for him being a bit of a pushover and letting things happen, hes a pastor, alot of things get past him, no matter hoe much it hurts him to see it happen

Also a bit toxic and possesive, he loves you and wants you to be happy but he cant bear to see you with another person, because hes not the type to care for himself and cares about others...unless they flirt with you in that case they are never ever going to enter or step foot in his church ever, a yandere of sorts i guess?

[sinnohsiblings]

*Destino swaggers up to Parisa at a time when she's not with her sister. Gotta be careful that Galadriel doesn't see them.* Destino: Hey. You know, your life must be so hard. You have to deal with the worst Pokémon everyday and you just so happen to be related. That must suck for you. What's it like having to share a space with the creature that decided I was her next meal? I still don't forgive her for doing that. Does she understand how long it took to wash all that goo out? And don't tell her I was here. Trying to keep a low profile, you know?

"Huh? Oh nah, my lifes pretty great! In fact I think I have the easiest job in my family! See all I have to do is ensure the steady growth of our universe by increasing uts size by a couple billion light years or so every blue moon." She said as she sipped her wine.

"My sisters job is the hardest I think. Definently makes her more testy from stress. I mean if she makes one mistake our whole family and everyone who lives in this world dies as a result. Its alot of responsibility on someone. Yknow?" Another sip.

"And gods! After her shit ex cheated on her and she found out at her wedding! Shes been on a war path with her temper. Anyone who degrades her with "just ask me out already" comments when shes being serious throws her into a blind rage. I mean I think if anyone treated me as bad as he did her I'd eat anyone who treated me like that. I mean YOU of all people should know how it feels when someone you love, violates your trust so deeply that you just unravel. That shit show was the gossip of the realms for a century. If you don't want to be eaten I wouldnt remind her of it."

As she took a third sip she smirked against the glass, "Also hun bun. She KNOWS you are here. Giratina can smell and taste the souls of all creatures that enter their territory. The second you stepped foot in our world she knew you were here. You however are not her biggest problem. Said ex is here apparently slinking around as someone elses special guest. He makes the stunts you pull look like a toddler's nonsense baby babble."

"You should be grateful you got ectoplasmed did you know a giratinas ectoplasm can reduce signs of aging by a decade or more? Why do you think ghost types never die from old age?"

[mamapilled]

mother nonsenses 1.0

was part of the manifesto. (but not anymore?) though these are just random ideas in my notebook that i havent yet found a way to fully write sth decent with. though the evidences are all there. here just for archive, none of these really mean anything. except the last bullet point? but it also doesnt mean anything

- [this was one of my replies when heilhades333 and i was talking abt my ageswap luther and her matriarch nature. then somehow it snowballed into ranfren chi no wadachi?] i think as far as where the series is currently at, randal's still far too young for luther to consider anything about him having a family of his own or even a partner. at this life stage he is still under luther's care, and therefore, a part of luther's family. i see luther as the highest queen of her own beehive, so she wouldnt want randal to eventually have his own family (though, as the "ivory heir", maybe that day will come. if they can grow old that is). luther's way of building a family is more of collecting "family members" - what she'd like to call them, rather than building branches. i dont think she would mind if randal gets a partner as long as they'd submit to become a part of her family (like how she got sebastian as a pet for randal) maybe only when said partner wanted to pull randal away we'd have a problem (satoru. though its mostly bc she wanted to go camping with her family and also blueberry pancakes)

^ i kNOW the mother here is referring to the mother/earthbound franchise. but this is my domain and i can say whatever i want

- [purely delusional. hello hitchther nation?] in my beautiful mind theres this specific what-if situation luther is the queen bee, the hitchhikers are the drones, randal is the queen-to-bee (haha get it) while the catmen and like, nana carpet seb and the rest are worker bees. the drones' only purposes is to mate with the queen (only the fittest ones get this honor) and they'll die in the act but they're happy doing so ^^; this is just me fumbling the hitch hikers’ role theres nothing more to this really, lol

- [i’m still marinating this thing with nou but its going to be mother manifesto 2.0 when i finally know how to verbalize it. wonder when that is... the following paragraphs are choppy and rough bc theyre mostly texts i sent to nou at 12am] AGAIN IM NOT A NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKER PLEASE EXCUSE ALL THE... IDK VERBS FORMS ERRORS I DONT KNOW! WHAT THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!

i know luther is the emperor tarot card (totally agree. shes also the empress TO ME. because im me of course) but then nou told me about her being the sun while randal is the moon and. huh. that kinda caught me off guard because the sun is supposed to represent. well? good omen and all the nicest things in the world. huh. everytime i think too much abt this i’d get super emotional (im getting emotional Right Now. thats why i dont think i can fully articulate this 2.0 manifesto any time soon) bc yknow. according to a normal regular person’s standard, luther is far from “good”, but also cap did write that luther “believes hes a nice person but is working on it” (not the exact quote but you get it)

something about her trying to be a good person though she probably would never be one but still in her cynical little mind hes being sweet and loving and Good. and not doing whatever she "in the past" has done. bunch of references to "the past" are mostly if not all abt how horrible and terrible and scary she was and how she keeps saying shes not like that anymore though we arent sure how much of it is true bc shes fucked in the head to oblivion. its the thoughts that count i guess?

these are probably all related to luther giving birth to randal (in my head) since ARHGHGH idk!!!!!! i'd imagine this was her before having him (or at least, when she just had him for a few? years? decades?) and then until she had to raise randal and realized he needs to grow into a decent person and started that fucked up roleplay spiral game of her she goes out less and less and trying to be a perfectly normal loving human and a caretaker of this made up family and stopped doing whatever the fuck she was doing when she was still a young maiden terrorizing canada’s deepest forest suburban hell

since randal is like. THE ivory heir to me too he'll take over one day its like now shes just being a mom and making sure hes ready to be it. one day (that day might never come once again she loves making shits up in her head saying stuff no one can fucking understand. cynical woman) and also making sure everything around him is ready for his growth and also being a good role model for him. yadda yadda. not to mention randal keeps talking abt how shes not like before / this body isnt what it used to before as if they both know shes fucking aging (old) and having randal is what she wanted in life like how parents after having children just want to devote their entire life to give their children the best upbringing bc their time is ending soon its time for the next generation. THIS IS ALSO PURELY DELUSIONAL SORRY

whatever im rereading camping arc again (i do this every night) what can i say i love female hysteria and getting the horrors abt luther von ivory slowly descending into insanity

[neutrallyobsessed]

EPISODE 7!!!!!!!!!! I SAW THE PREVIEW IMAGES

NOW I KNOW WHO MARY IS Y EL ALMA ME VUELVE AL CUERPO!!

sehh el sindrome de abstinencia de topher bus viene con español de mas, asi que deberia ser tobi col, que se yo puta madre DONDE ESTASSSSSSSSSS

but lets see how this revelation comes to them~~

hmm so theres this kinda lack of feelingggg, like now Joan and Abe are literally each other's girl and boy next door,,,, they're doing this taylor swift thing were they speak from the windows....hmm i need more jealousy fits from each other about each other yknowww

BUENO COJAN YAAA A VERRR POR DIOSSSSSS

wait, so if Abe is gonna be like JFK, and JFK is gonna be like Abe.. then wHO'S DRIVING THE VAN???????

oh man, i love that type of joke! in the fic im writting i put it several times like actually lolol

((((~~save me oh, save me topher of the intro~~))))

ohhhhh new clones??? or maybe not, it does sound like a lot of work lmaoo yeahhhhh

without raisins lol

oh damn that epic yo but like, did you fuck harriet at least?

TOPHER!

aghhhughhohgoihjbnjdwieouwhaoaogsghhh hhhhh ok,,, okkk ok we all know that i wanted him back and HE IS BACK FUCK YEAH but i cant really decided if that was a good way or a bad way but lets just say that my ice cold water bottle has completely evaporated!! and imma- imma get a new one...... brb yeah :)

but like- yeah that's 3 (THREE) unfunny yet popular hcs disproven by canon all at once: he DOES shower, he DOES have hair and he DID fuck at least once.......... tbh the balding virgin is kinda funny but i have my reasons~ and come on people! who doesnt love a good cold shower cuaNDO TE ESTAS CAGANDO DE CALOR VIEJA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO WAIT 4(FOUR) HCS! He doesn't dye his hair either! but like, that's not bad or unfunny is just- Do you know why el Dibu Martinez is nicknamed like that?

NO YEAH VAN GOGH I BELIEVE YOU 100% LIKE ACTUALLY SJKSJSKJSKSKS and can we get a hell yeah for Ivan? hell yeah!!

EL PRIMAS!!! EL JOTA EFE KA ES EL PRIMAS!!!!!! tho i expected that more of topher yaknow? like! like he had the sleepover with abe como no vas a traer a tus primas???

ooooooooooh Erica Rivinojaaaa you wouldnt fuck abe? thats actually super cool and a breath of fresh air. like a lot of writers and producers self insert in their shows to fuck their characters but here Rivinoja is like "nope im not gonna fuck the characters!" and thats actually hella based, we love to see it!!! leaving that to the fans eh ;)

yeah you know all bout cementary film screenings dont you joan? lol

ok i know she means she doesnt like having her picture taken without consent but still, you did sent a titpic to abe soooooo

UUUUGHHHHH FUCKING FINALLY i thought they all knew tho, like especially Cleo? who dated Abe?? eh whatev lol

OMG THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS THOSE FUCKING BLINDERS AMIRITE PEOPLE!!!

YEAHHHH JEALOUSY FIT, THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING~~♥!

OH SHIT J- CL- BUT NOW WITH M- IS BACK!!!!!!!!

my fav gags making their appearances once again!

ohohoh they gonna find out~~ NO SHE DIDNT GO BACK~~!!! OOOO- yeah explain that Cleo wasn't invited there.... that she was barely in the show last season.......... LIKE- YKNOW

Ahahaha funny you say that cause before that you were like tHiS SO laMe and now you do want to get invited aaaa

This scene is so aesthetically pleasing.... and ok if it is Bloody Mary, it's ok for an overuse of blood, but still, it could have a lot more impact if y'all DIDN'T overuse blood all those times before!!

people die all the time, yeah ok lmaooo

HI! JSKSJSKSJKSJSKSJKSJJSKSJS

Aww the boys care for her- NOOO UN PINCHE FURRRO AAAAAA

oh what is this? scott pilgrim?

Hmmm didn't understand that reference...

And that's why we all need to stay hydrated and have a nice cold bottle of water near by~!

Hahahah~~! HAHAHAHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO GIRL! you having sex with EVERYONE who DONT MATTER what the fuck

there is SO MUCH jealousy and regret in this screenshot, i love it!!

Rating: Abe still a virgin/10!

Topher Bus has appeared on screen for 8 seconds.

[felikatze]

ok wait sitting on the arval stuff more (three hopes spoilers riu dni)

also i havent done the arval paralogue bcuz like. on god i'm not replaying this game rn cuz i will get burnout so bad

also this was the recruit byleth route on azure gleam so. again i am NOT replaying immediatly because i like the game but i also like myself.

ok ok so i think arval eventually betraying shez was set up really well actually.

the game does a good slowburn job of setting up that at some point shez just doesn't care abt defeating byleth anymore.

shez and arval initially are united in purpose, partners in destiny, but when shez joins one of the houses and becomes an important commander in a war, their personal revenge starts appearing insignificant to them and is eventually outweighed by their newfound trust and love for their friends.

additionally as they realize the connection arval and their power holds to those who slither in the dark, they grow afraid of their own power. the power they got from arval.

in azure gleam (and other routes similarly, probably) their fear grows so intense after unveiling how much tragedy those who slither brought into their friends' lives that they ask dimitri to strike them down should they ever turn their blade against their friends.

and, yknow, shez themself wouldnt just kill their friends willy-nilly. "if i ever turn my blade on you" actually means "if arval ever turns my blade on you." by making this request they acknowledge the possibility arval would do this.

whereas shez's drive for revenge fades, arval's only intensifies. arval's wrath drives a further wedge between them and shez, who starts to feel horror at arval's intent.

arval likely regained some degree of their memory when byleth went sothis mode, as seen by how fucking mad they got even before truly becoming epimenides again.

so like yeah this plot development was well-foreshadowed. and i think the map where you fight shez slaps. absolutely banger moment.

howeverrrrr. after that. i can accept epimenides banishing the three lords to the shadow realm as a cost-cutting measure because every route needs to resolve the arval plot and it would be hard to justify doing it differently three times so whatever. have a convergence point i dont care.

BUT. arval accepts becoming epimenides as their destiny. "i was always meant to become you," they say. but like? shez doesn't? shez never seems to acknowledge that the arval they know is gone. this is why i expected arval to show up again! bcuz. shez doesnr accept that they are the one who killed arval.

throughout the endgame they will still occasionally reference arval as their friend and like. pretend talk to arval in a more "if you could see me now" type of way but

epimenides makes it pretty clear that they (epimenides refers to themself as a man so did arval legit just forget their own gender? arval has so much transgender swag) don't really value shez and them calling shez their partner in destiny just felt like mockery to be honest. like oh you're not doing what i want so i'm gonna take over your body against your will you peon fuck you. that's the vibe on epimenides.

and then you gotta ask yourself how much arval actually valued shez for them to just become epimenides without a fight? without hesitation? cuz yknow typically in stories like this the power of friendship will snap whoever out of it which is what happens to shez but not to arval. arval just accepts what they've become and they die for it. the end. fin.

again!!! arval accepts this!! shez doesn't! it's such a weird dissonance. ig it's kinda subversive that power of friendship doesn't actually save arval but it still feels like a rugpull.

also suuuuper bad taste in my mouth from the azure gleam ending where like. thales and epimenides and all those slither guys talk about purifying the world from beasts right? reclaiming their rightful home above the surface by killing sothis? and at the end rhea says that she will purify the land by killing those who slither in the dark.

so it's like. both sides r the same. and the implication that sothis is the one who banished the agarthans to shamballah or wherever to let humans live in fodlan instead is. eh. everyone is the hero of their own story ig.

maybe i just dont know enough abt fe3h deeplore (<- has only played blue lions routes bcuz replaying academy phase gave him burnout and he hasnt picked three houses up since)

anyway this is just my experience. and my opinion

tldr: tho arval's betrayal is set-up really good and the first half of it is epic the actual fight against epimenides feels lacking because of how differently shez and arval feel about the situation with no attempt by the narrative to reconcile this dissonance.

[yuukei-yikes]

Tbh the Kenjirounstuff in the anime was super confusing to me but also made me the saddest? (The thing that made me second saddest was realizing how little Haruka would actually be in the anime lmao. Got so hyped for him)

did u only watch the anime??if so my respects cuz damn

kenjirous thing is never Super well explained so i get the confusion. u should read the lyrics of dead and seek!!!

erm... idk how to explain this without going extremely into detail so... sit down i guess.

but basically kenjirou's deal is that like everyone, he dies on aug 15 with someone (his wife ayaka) enters and exits the daze and has an eye power. sadly this eye power is clearing eyes AKA the Bad Guy.

clearing eyes' purpose is to grant the wishes of its possessor. it was created by azami's desire to understand herself and it resents her change of wish afterwards (to live with her family forever), tricks her into creating the daze, etc etc. its kind of the only snake that has like its own autonomy (aside konoha later on for Reasons) BASICALLY. kenjirou gets. an eye power that. not only he can't control but it controls HIM

clearing works on its Master Plans while kenjirou is asleep. its purpose is to make mary combine reality and the daze so basically this bitch wants to literally destroy the world. and the way to do this... well the plan has a lot of steps. clearing can only work through its goal while working under granting a wish, so kenjirou's wish is really one step into the bigger plan that is to kill all snake owners and make a new medusa (mary)

kenjirou's wish being to see ayaka again. ayaka being in the daze. so the way to see her again is to open the daze. how to open the daze?? mary activates combining eyes. HOW does mary activate combining eyes? by gathering all the snakes. HOW do you gather all the snakes if some are still in the daze? You (haruka) kill (takane) people (hibiya). like clearing has its own plans that it works on through aligning it with its "master's" wish. does that make sense??

ayano's plan is to enter the daze and KEEP a snake so the plan will fail and it won't kill haruka and takane and in eventuality her siblings. but um. the reason this fails is bc what she doesn't know is that this is a timeloop. her plan doesn't fix things only delays them. she helps with the world not being destroyed but. clearing's way to work around this is to make mary reset the world and just try again. hehe

OK. SO BASICALLY KENJIROU... he is NOT clearing eyes. he is posessed by clearing eyes. he is unaware of all its plans to kill haruka and takane, and it is unclear how much of kenjirou is really left after it does kill haruka and takane and lets ayano die and the mekatrio moves out. like at least personally i never knew if after that, kenjirou has been completely taken over by clearing and for example, when we see him discussing momo's grades that is actually clearing having a mr tateyama act all this time. because otherwise if kenjirou can still live, he would FIND OUT what happened yknow?? at first clearing is working in everything with kenjirou not knowing but like. one thing is ayanos suicide, kenjirou having to go through that. but another is also his children moving out and students dying, and. ONE OF THESE STUDENTS LIVING IN UR HOUSE AS AN EMPTY SHELL WITH A LITTLE SNAKE INSIDE. YKNOW WHAT I MEAN. like if during this kenjirou has control as he did during the preparation portion, he would put 2 and 2 together right?? he wouldnt be so stupid not to know!!! they all knew abt the red eyes!!! he KNOWS he died on august 15 with ayaka!!!HARUKAS WEIRD BODY IS IN HIS HOUSE!!! HE WOULD KNOW AND my man would kill himself to stop it. like haruka takane and ayano are DEAD and his other 3 kids are in danger too he would probably kill himself before "he" gets his hands on them. so i am pretty sure its just clearing taking over completely post the august 15 where haruka takane & ayano die. but that bit is unclear (to me, at least). though maybe kenjirou just thinks nothing else will happen and just continues to miserably live alone with harukas snake piloted body lmao idk

erm. hope that clears it up??? i basically explained kind of the whole plot.

[goremet-chef]

vent/rant

its so fucking ABSURD man. "whats with the attitude?" you want me to kill the mood even more? want me to say im depressed cuz my cat is dead and i didnt even realize that on the 21st, that would be the last time id ever see her again? is that what you fucking want?

its so NON EXISTANT to EVERYONE, it means fucking nothing to them!!! how could you care so little, just because we didnt live with her? she was the last remnant of my home. a home free of yelling and violence and blood, home where my friends live, home where i was safe and now shes gone, she was the last one. i thought i had longer with her, at least with riley i got to say goodbye properly

the same thing happened with domino, when i was younger. i felt so betrayed that they didnt even let me say bye to him, i feel a similar anger now.. but i live 2 hours away, there was no convenient way for them to let me do that. i think just..

the SUDDENNESS of the decision is what breaks my heart. she didnt know she wasnt gonna wake up ever again, she probably had no idea what was happening and its. its not like i wanted to see her die, the same way we watched riley get worse until we realized there was no saving him and he wasnt gonna get better, but.. was there really nothing we couldve done? nothing at all? was euthanasia the ONLY course of action? maybe we could have saved her, but its too late now. it doesnt matter anymore

im still kind of in denial, honestly.. it doesnt feel real. some part of me thinks it was a sick joke from my sibling. i know its not, i know its real, but with how everyones acting like it didnt happen at all, you couldnt blame me for feeling that way. part of me really hopes it was a joke but. i know if i ask ill just get confirmation that it wasnt

i wish i was there at least. that way i wouldnt be stuck in this limbo of thinking its not real. i know when riley was put down, id still go to my grandmas room and go to the living room at night somewhat hoping that he'd be there when i looked, but of course he never was. one time i was zoned out and i subconsciously reached over to pet him and feeling time stop when i froze and saw i was reaching for nothing, it hurt so fucking bad, it still hurts so fucking bad man. looking up and seeing the little box he was inside, it fucking sucks i hate this so much

i wish i was there, because at least my grandma gets it. those were her cats, have been for years. she always played it off like they werent because technically artemis and riley were OUR cats, but my mom lost her home and my grandma took us in when i was like.. 8 or 9. and she decided to go back and get them for us. im so grateful she did, because they wouldnt have lived as long as they had out there.

she gets it, because she loved them too. my mom didnt love them. my brother didnt love them. my older sister literally just completely abandoned and probably forgot about riley, who was HER cat. i remember he used to attack my feet from under the bed, when i was a little kid. the only one who came close to loving them like how we do was my oldest sibling, and even still he doesnt seem sad about it at all. like i know hes sad cuz he loved her but he rarely ever saw her, it was more like a passing claim of "oh, thats my cat", yknow?

my grandma gets it. i know she knows its really hard for me. it was so hard when domino was gone. when riley was sick, she tried to be lighthearted about it and even when i saw him for the last time, and we were both crying, she told me to say bye to him in kind of a goofy voice. i know she doesnt want to see me hurting like that, and it was kind of dreadful at the time, but im really glad she let me say goodbye to him, because it was a goodbye i meant. it wasnt "goodbye, see you later", it was the real one and i didnt get to give that to arty. i just said bye like normal, because i thought shed be okay! i thought whatever was wrong with her, we could fix. i cant believe it was so cut and dry

and i cant stand it here, they dont have and kind of sympathy, i think my mom doesnt even KNOW that i know. which means she just didnt plan on telling me at all. even my sibling was confused as to why she wouldnt have. its like they cant fathom why id be sad for more than a day or two, but i loved her! i fucking loved her, i loved all of them

i dont believe in the afterlife, but part of me wants to believe that they can at least know how much i miss them, how much i love them. its the only sort of comfort i have, even if i dont really believe it. i hope they can hear me cry and they know that its because i love them so fucking much and i want to see them again

it doesnt help that, exactly like when riley was put to sleep, im having dreams about her. dreams where shes dead, but im hallucinating her and i can see her again and im petting her and its so real.. shes there in my head and everyone around me tells me "its not real" but i dont even care! i dont care if its not real, because seeing her is enough. arty, i love you so much girl, im so fucking sorry we couldnt do anything. im sorry to riley too, and domino, and talcum. im sorry marceline, im sorry ellie. i know its not my fault, there was really just nothing we could do, but man i wish that wasnt true

they lived their whole lives with us, which is why its so crazy to me that most of my family doesnt really care. no one is gonna remember them, so ill drown myself in the grief just to honor their memory, because they deserve to be cried over. they deserve to be missed, to have someone who loves them after everything. their loss should be mourned, how could i think back on their whole lives and do anything but? i know people say "oh, remember the good times! they wouldnt want you to be sad" but the good times are gone. crying affirms the fact that i loved them and ill keep loving them until im dead too, because they deserve that

[sergeantsporks]

thinking abt a what if scenario where my golden guard oc was inducted into the gilded fam (bc you said it was ok to write abt them interacting). first off, his name was achilles, he lived during a time where belos was still trying to gain power, so he ended up doing a lot of bad stuff for him. like. “killing entire villages to end a rebellion” levels of bad. in terms of personality, he was a very honor-obsessed, noble, knightly type. bc of this, he didnt question belos like. at all. and while he did not enjoy the atrocities he was committing, he thought they were necessary and done for a reason. “the ends justify the means” sort of situation yknow

naturally, you can expect him to not react well when he accidentally finds out what the day of unity Actually entails, and goes and violently confronts belos abt it. they fight, achilles gets the upper hand and wrongfully assumes belos is dead, belos doesnt die for anything tho and cuts his achilles tendon as hes walking away and finishes him off

i imagine that suddenly waking up in the gilded house would. kind of actively make his mental health worse. suddenly having to live with the knowledge that everything he did was ultimately in vain would eat him alive. physically, hed have one of the easier recoveries, he has a limp and a lot of stab wounds & bruises, but its not the worst evelyn has seen. mentally, hes kind of on a downward spiral from minute 1. he feels incredibly guilty abt all the crimes hes committed and all the people hes killed, and he wishes that both belos and himself had died back then. he could absolutely be convinced to stay at the house and even bond with the others, but this is something hes never going to forgive himself for. or at the very least, he wouldnt get to that point in recovery for a WHILE

theres also the issue that theyd kinda have to break him from a soldier mindset (but i imagine hes hardly unique in that experience). like he thinks his life doesnt matter and can be thrown away for anything. he immediately clocks caleb and evelyn as the ultimate authority in the household and treats every request and question from them like an order that hes not allowed to disobey. which would cause some obvious problems. he even bows to them in their first meeting. which they wouldnt like for obvious reasons. hed definitely need to learn to have Some self worth and learn that hes allowed to make choices for himself. hed treat being asked to help in the kitchen with the same deathly seriousness as if he was being ordered to the frontlines in a war

tbh i could actually see him getting along well with jason. he doesnt understand Everything he talks abt, but he does genuinely enjoy hearing abt noble heroes vanquishing monsters and all the other stuff from his books. i could even see jason suggesting the name achilles to him in the first place (id say what his dynamic would be w/ the others, but its been a while since i read the fic n i dont remember their personalities that well)

uhhh. thats kinda all i got to tell you abt the mental rabbit hole i just went down. um. he knows how to swordfight too and would gladly teach the others if they wanted to learn. what do you think of this? sorry for this ask being an absolute wall of text btw

Hmmmmm I think he and Cherry would... idk, not "get along" per se (in a "besties" sense), but just. "Same trauma!!! I've done some stuff that I am very not proud of and oh gosh I was a monster!!!" bonding. Despite being from VERY different time periods. That, and he and Petro would both have the "big help in the rise to power" similarity.

Jason would absolutely go sparkle-eyed infodump on him the instant he said something about heroes. I hope Achilles is ready for the whole Illiad to learn about his namesake, because Jason is going to recite it for him. As was initially intended by the text.