#if i could change one thing about myself.....

[ireverie]

do you like it, dr. lee?

pairing ↠ jake, jay, jungwon x (f) professor!reader

genre .. warnings ↠ smut, noncon, gangbanging, student x professor, reader is early 30s, they’re all twisted but jay is mean asfk, mentions of infidelity, age gap (18+)

summary ↠ jake, jay, and jungwon are some of the brightest, most accomplished students in your class that never fail to make high marks on the exams. but when they approach you one day in your office, your perspective of them changes dramatically.

wc ↠ 5.4k

a/n ↠ originally posted on my blog revehae, i am not plagiarizing myself. part 2/3 of the in my blood series. as always, feedback is appreciated!

don’t like it, don’t read.

it all happened so fast.

one minute, you were chatting with three of your most wonderful students in your office, and the very next, they had you sprawled out on top of your desk.

your heart was speeding. though you attempted to wrestle your way out of their less than gentle embraces, you couldn’t even take one of them, let alone all three. while somebody was keeping your hands still, another was holding you by the legs.

jay, who had his palm flat over your mouth, only watching your moist, fearfully wide eyes, leaned into your ear and whispered, “scream and we’ll saw your tongue off.”

when he dropped his palm, you sucked in a breath, face tensing with tears as you willed yourself to be compliant. your head was spinning, dizzy with shock. what was happening to you was unfathomable. these boys were some of your favorite students, the ones who never failed to perform magnificently on the exams, and were sparkling in class.

you felt betrayed, in a way. even your worst-performing student wouldn’t stoop this low, and in the midst of your fright, you wondered what you had done to deserve the atrocity that was today. if there was anybody that you could count on to make you feel as if your dedication to this job wasn’t completely useless, it was these boys.

jake was standing just shy of you, eyes fixed to that knee-length skirt he loved watching you wear. jay chuckled when he noticed where his friend’s gaze had fallen, because he found himself glancing there too, but usually when you were facing away from your students.

he always thought about getting you naked, seeing your ass without anything to hinder his view. more often than not, jay fisted himself to the thought of stuffing your ass full of his thick cock, wondering if anybody had ever fucked you there.

snapping out of his imagination, jake approached you, shoving your long skirt closer to your hips. instinctively, the first thing you did was try to protect yourself, but jungwon grabbed you and ceased all control. you slumped, whimpering defeatedly, “boys, please stop. you know that i have a husband.”

jake snickered, amused that that was the card you chose to play. “didn’t really look like you cared about your husband when you were fucking my dad,” he retorted.

rather than beat even quicker, it felt as if your heart stilled. “what?”

jay laughed boisterously. “would you look at that. she thinks you don’t know.”

“that’s right, baby,” jake replied menacingly, nothing affectionate about his tone, in spite of the pet name. “you run your mouth and we’ll make sure the whole school knows that you can’t stop spreading your legs for my father.”

donning the sweetest tone, jungwon crooned in your ear, “and you wouldn’t want that, right, sweetheart? you wouldn’t want mr. lee to know that his wife isn’t satisfied with just his cock, is she now?”

it felt as if the whole world was crumbling beneath your feet. jake was sunghoon’s son, the offspring of the man you had been hooking up with behind your husband’s back, and now he and his friends were threatening to expose your affair if you refused to let them have their way with you.

your lips were trembling. this is all your fault, you chided to yourself. if you could’ve just been a faithful wife, a committed woman, none of this would be happening. they would have nothing against you, nothing that would stop you from reporting to the closest figure of authority. but you had too much at stake.

though you were no stranger to jay’s short patience, you had never seen it manifest quite like this before, gripping your hair so roughly you whimpered in a blend of pain and shock. he growled, “he asked you a question. i shouldn’t have to tell you that that called for an answer.”

“no,” you replied shakily.

jay’s grip only tightened and he pressed, “no, what?”

“no, i don’t want him to know…,” you trailed, because it was humiliating to repeat back aloud, but jay was still gazing at you expectantly. “that i’m not satisfied with just his cock.”

“see, that wasn’t so hard. don’t be a little bitch and make things more complicated than they have to be,” jay said, releasing his hold on your hair. you would’ve fallen back had not jungwon been there to catch you, only to then grab the little buttons on your blouse. “we’re doing you a favor, really. it’s a three for one deal. a little whore like you should be excited.”

but you didn’t want them, you didn’t even want your husband. you wanted sunghoon. it made you wonder how they knew of the affair, because jake seemed oblivious only a couple of weeks ago. he referred to you as some fucking nurse sunghoon had flirted with, not his molecular biology professor.

for fuck’s sake, you were a solid decade older than them. granted, sunghoon was at least a decade older than you, though there was a discernible difference between the age gap between the two of you and the gap between you and your undergraduate students. 

your button-up blouse finally came undone and jungwon didn’t waste a breath before he snatched off your bra, eager to suck your breasts into his mouth. you gasped out when he did, his tongue darting around your nipples. in the same way, jake yanked your panties off, cupping between your legs without a second thought.

never in your life had you felt more defenseless, powerless. stripped of all autonomy and forced to let other people have their wicked ways with you. you felt nothing short of violated and it made you sick to your stomach, gut tossing and churning with reproach.

through your stinging eyes, blurry with hot tears, you watched jake sink to his knees in front of your desk. you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about how exposed you were, your breasts out and your skirt bunched just above your thighs. it felt like the closest thing to walking around the plaza half-naked.

obviously, you felt more watched than you would’ve had it just been one of them, but you were at the mercy of three guys that were paying a godawful amount of attention to your bare figure. jungwon was fixed to your perky chest and jay was watching jake situate himself between your legs, holding them open for his friend in case you wanted to be defiant.

“jake, i don’t want this,” you whined, wiping your face with the back of your hand. 

“that’s too bad, baby.” jake wasn’t even looking at you, gaze locked on your pussy, like that was what you were reduced to. “don’t worry, it’ll feel good.”

you sucked in another gasp when his mouth angled towards your pussy without affording you a notice in advance, your body’s natural instinct being to shut your legs, but jay was still holding them in place and he was infinitely stronger than you. with the vigorous training that it took to be a member of the campus’ athletic teams, it came to you as no shock, but you were heavily disappointed.

jake’s tongue singled out your clit while he lapped at you, ravenous. the second he saw you on the first day of class, he knew that he had to have you. so when he found out that you were sleeping with his father, cheating on your husband with jake’s dad of all people, he became furious. 

neither you or sunghoon were as good at keeping secrets as you thought yourselves to be. on more than one occasion, jake saw you leaving their house. every now and then, he would see your name on his father’s phone. and it wasn’t fair. if anybody could please you, if anybody could bring you to heaven and back, it was the boy with his head buried between your legs.

as if matters couldn’t get any worse, jake actually seemed to know what he was doing. though you would never admit it to his face, the way he was sucking at your bundle of nerves had you throbbing, pulsing involuntarily around nothing. you whimpered and whined, but chewed on your bottom lip to stifle the noise.

jungwon chuckled so quietly it was barely audible, but said nothing as of right now, cupping your tits in his palms and squeezing. his patience was much less limited than jay’s, who was currently shifting out of his boxers, freeing his raging hard cock. you saw him in the corner of your misty eyes, noticing how rigid and thick his cock was, but said nothing.

what you didn’t expect, though probably should have seen coming, was for him to start jacking himself to the sight of you being mishandled. jake wasn’t the only one that couldn’t stop thinking about from the moment you locked eyes. matter of fact, that mutual pining was the common denominator of this little team.

all three of them were sick in the head, out of their minds obsessed with you. you would have expected some lethal kind of rivalry to develop out of that, but instead, they were much more menacing about it. they were helping each other get what they wanted.

you were a little overwhelmed from all the attention and jay wasn’t even touching you, but just knowing that he was stroking his cock for you was more than a little unnerving. jungwon’s hands were so strangely gentle, setting a pattern as he groped you, all the while jake was eating you out vigorously.

“pretty, pretty. so pretty when you cry,” jungwon sang in a way that could’ve been kind, if you ignored the nature of what was happening to you. then, like he knew your secret and was implying that he wouldn’t tell, he whispered for only your ears, “pretty when you lie, too.”

it wasn’t fair. you didn’t want to like this, just like how you didn’t want to be aroused. but when jake pushed a pair of fingers inside of your pussy you gushed and tightened around his digits. you were so unstill, it drove him mad, prompting him to go harder.

your brain was empty but racing all the while, thinking, this is so fucking wrong. you were fucking his father, for crying out loud, and even that was wrong. you didn’t care then, so according to their logic, it shouldn’t have made a difference now.

jake and jay’s grunts blended into one giant cacophony of sound, jake moaning with a mouthful of pussy because he couldn’t get enough of the way you tasted and your pussy was spasming around his digits, whereas jay was grunting because he thought you were most right now when you were deprived of all control.

blood was pumping quicker than ever through your veins, your heart screaming for survival. you weren’t even remotely in control of your own body anymore, seized not only by your three reckless students, but the pleasure burning through you like wildfire.

your office, that was typically admirably ventilated, seemed to hot to breathe in. but your breaths became quicker and shorter, as if there was no space in your lungs, and you started to feel the sweat cooling down your back, reminding you of how naked you were.

jake was so hard, stiffening in his pants the longer he watched you start to unravel, and he could’ve probably gotten off just from making you cum. you were grinding your hips against his mouth, and his long, slender fingers that were surely getting you there. you might not have wanted to confess the truth, but your body couldn’t lie.

“she’s so close,” jay commented with a chuckle, addressing you as if you weren’t even there. “fuck, i am too.”

a hole of negative emotions opened then and there and swallowed you whole, namely guilt and humiliation. you didn’t want jake to make you cum, you didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of bringing you pleasure, but that ship had already sailed. 

nonetheless, you parted your lips and begged in between shaky moans, “jake, stop. please, i’m begging you!”

“he’s not going to stop, sweetheart,” jungwon crooned, brushing a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. “don’t you see? he can’t get enough of your pretty pussy. you should feel so good about yourself.”

few things in life had ever made you feel this conflicted. on the one hand, this was degrading on way too many levels and you felt forcibly stripped of all of your dignity. but on the other, deep down inside, the sight of jake with his head between your thighs as he licked and sucked at your cunt was inexplicably arousing.

and that did it for you. you tried to fight it, you really did, but your orgasm completely blindsided you, taking you by the reins and going to town. your lips parted in a cry of jake’s name, your thighs trembling and heat striking through you like lightning as you gripped onto jungwon for dear life.

jake continued to go down on you after you orgasmed, just until you finished more or less riding his face, going limp against your desk with only jungwon to keep you upright. you couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think. all the blood was rushing to your head and your heart was thumping in your ears.

jake finally pulled back, licking your arousal off of his lips and the corners of his mouth in a way that made your core throb emptily, then asked, “did you like it, dr. lee?”

your ears burned and you said nothing, because there was nothing that needed to be said. your answer was in the way your chest heaved like unstill waters, your fingers still holding onto jungwon’s shirt. like you thought you would collapse if you had nothing to anchor yourself.

jungwon took one glance at you and scoffed, “i think she loved it, man.”

there was something so smug in jake’s stare, like he just knew that he had you.

when jake moved, jay came between your spread legs, still holding his cock while he stroked himself to climax in front of you. like it would never be satisfied, your pussy continued to throb at the sounds you were indirectly plucking out of him, culminating in one deep, guttural growl when he came, shooting his load on your cunt.

though you were (thank god) on birth control, him orgasming there still made you feel iffy. you could feel it trickling down into your hole and hated how eager it seemed to be filled. for half a second, you were convinced that was the worst that could happen.

imagine your shock when jungwon abandoned your boobs, soft and supple as they were, and shifted between your thighs next. you didn’t know what to expect when you noticed him move, they enjoyed keeping you guessing, but it definitely wasn’t for jungwon to lick at your release-stained pussy.

you gasped, “jungwon!”

the sound of him sucking and licking at your clit was lewd, and there were long, damp lines being made with his flattened tongue. while you were appalled, the other watched in amusement how jungwon unabashedly more or less ate jay’s cum from your hole in a disturbing licking pattern. because where it was a nightmare for you, it was just one giant game to them.

to say nothing of the fact that you had only just orgasmed, sensitive. your thighs couldn’t handle the stimulation and you let out a breath of relief when his mouth separated from you, only for him to stand and force his lips against yours. you resisted, jolting away from him, but your attempts to evade him were in vain.

jungwon didn’t even need to grab your face to keep you still, because there was nowhere for you to hide. it was a disgusting, messy kiss, given that you were adamant on pushing him off. only so much of it was your fault though. jungwon liked it messy, liked how repulsed you were. he liked the grimace you were sporting and the blend of jay’s cum and saliva dribbling down your chin. the damp spots of his saliva on your cheek from your attempts to dodge him and where his tongue pressed against you instead.

it was nauseating to you. you could taste jay’s cum on your tongue, even though his cock hadn’t been anywhere near your mouth. and the the taste just wouldn’t go away.

jungwon, at last, pulled back, though only to laugh at the look on your face. “aw, don’t make that face. you liked it, right?”

you parted your lips to say deny him, but jungwon saw it coming and just kissed you again, not one to take no for an answer.

“okay, move your ass,” jake said after a minute of watching you squirm. you never realized how strong jungwon was.

jungwon frowned, but moved out of the way. not because jake told him to, but because he had something equally devious running through his brain.

you were baffled when you noticed jake returning between your thighs, because he should’ve already had his fill. then, you noticed that he had freed his cock from his boxers in the time jungwon spent sucking on your tongue, and swallowed the lump in your throat.

you let out a cry of shock when they spread you over your desk the long way, carelessly toppling over your belongings, and yanked your skirt off your body completely. you were utterly naked, and there was no bit of you they hadn’t seen.

jake positioned himself behind you, lining himself up at your entrance. there was so much terror in your body at the moment, scared not only for what was to come, but of liking it too.

“please,” you begged, trying to negotiate once more. “you boys should fool around with someone your own age.”

jake snickered, as if that was funny. he probably thinks it is. “maybe, but where’s the fun in that?”

your jaw slacked when his first thrust drew a pitched cry from the back of your throat. he wasn’t even half as patient as his father would be to sheathe himself completely. sunghoon would take his time, wallowing in your wetness just before slowly but steadily filling you, inch by fucking inch. jake, on the other hand, went straight for the kill.

but to your horror, you were soaked enough for him to slip right in smoothly, to say nothing of jay’s leftover cum facilitating the process. jake was girthy like sunghoon too, in spite of all of their stark differences, and you hated that it was so familiar how he was stretching you out.

“wait,” you whimpered, fingers clamping aggressively against the edges of your desk. “jake, please. you don’t need to do this.”

irritated, jay nudged jungwon, groaning, “will you shut her up already?”

“gladly,” jungwon chirped, a devilish little smile tugging at his lips.

you lifted your head up when you heard jungwon approaching the side of your desk that you were facing, watching him shuffle out of his pants and boxers, and you quickly started to flail. jake grabbed your neck, lowered his head, and hissed, “behave, or we’ll have to tell the class that their favorite professor is just a slutty little whore.” 

you stilled, remembering what was at stake. it wasn’t just your career, but sunghoon’s too. the second it got out that the two of you were involved in an affair, you knew you would both have to answer for your sins.

when jungwon finally got his underwear off, lengthy hard cock standing angrily against his stomach, he positioned himself beside your mouth and crooned, “say ‘ah.’”

“i don’t want to,” you whimpered.

jay crept over, evidently disgruntled, and there was a resounding smack when his palm landed flat against your cheek. “one more thing from you and your husband’s gonna get a nice surprise in his email,” he warned.

defeated, you silently opened your mouth, letting jungwon push himself to the back of your throat. he let out a pleasant little sigh, eyes fluttering closed, paying no attention to the tears dripping down your cheeks. your mouth was too warm for him to a give damn whether or not you wanted this, to care about what you were feeling.

all the while, jake’s hands were bruising your hips with the merciless grip he had of them. unlike you, his moans were unrestrained, never shy to reveal the ecstasy making his blood pump and his dick throb. you were so wet, so tight, everything he imagined tenfold. his father didn’t deserve you, not in his opinion. everything sunghoon could do, jake was certain that he could do better, even if you didn’t want to confess.

even if he was a lot less caring than his dad would present. you didn’t know sunghoon, not like you thought. the dark side jake had didn’t just come out of nowhere. though you would never realize, there was a clear reason why jake was so sick in the head, especially when it came to you. why he took great delight in forcing you over your desk, stuffing you full of his cock and listening to you cry, struggling to hide that you loved his cock.

“he doesn’t love you, you know,” jake said none too gently, snickering from between your legs. “i hope you realize you’re just another easy whore. not the first, not the last.”

there was so much going on that you were hoping you could somehow detach yourself from the brutal reality. not only was your body overloaded, but your mind and soul, ripping a hole right through all that you thought to be true.

it was all too fucking much. “your mouth feels so good,” jungwon exhaled, a hand tangled through your hair.

“you should feel her pussy. she’s so fucking wet, dude. and she thinks we’re going to buy that she’s not begging for this,” jake replied, completely degrading. 

jungwon chuckled breathlessly. you were sucking it out of him, against your will or not. “yeah, i can hear how wet she is.”

jay said nothing, but you were already too overwhelmed to notice his absence in the conversation. he was engrossed in thought, waiting with staggering patience for his own turn. which wasn’t typical for him at all. he swore, when he was done with you, you weren’t even going to think for weeks. 

between jake’s twisted smack of his hips against yours and the way jungwon was unabashedly using your mouth to get off, you couldn’t decide which was more brutal. torture was torture, but if it was meant to be so bad, there shouldn’t have been moans slipping from your mouth uncontrollably. there shouldn’t have been a familar weight sitting in the pit of your stomach, waiting to wreck you.

“i know you love this,” jake said, maybe project just a little, but the body didn’t lie and he could feel you tightening. “i know you love this fucking dick. wish i could hear you say it, baby.”

“that can be arranged,” jungwon quipped, but it took you by surprise when he actually pulled his cock from your mouth. “c’mon, angel. tell jake how much you love his dick.”

your face flushed with humiliation, but you knew what would happen if you failed to comply. “i...,” you started, hesitant. “i love your dick, jake.”

jake smacked your ass, making you stifle a scream. “again.”

you cried out, “i love your dick!”

“i know,” jake said, sickeningly confident in himself. “i also know that you’re about to cum.”

it was maddening that your husband of ages could hardly even get you off these days but some students in your class were recognizing the signs in record time. you were also ashamed with yourself for being so aroused, for needing to orgasm this badly, but you forfeited control of yourself moments ago.

jungwon had enough and once his dick started to twitch desperately, he shoved his cock back into your mouth, chasing relief for the raging hard-on you’d given him. rather than you sucking him off, it was more of him relentlessly fucking your throat, not stopping when you gagged.

and it wasn’t long before the three of you ultimately came, like a chain of dominoes collapsing after each other. this orgasm was just as powerful as the one that came before, the room reeling as your screams were muffled against jungwon’s stiff cock. your whole body was a thousand degrees hotter. jungwon’s warm cum releasing in your mouth while jake’s seeped deeply into your pussy.

although you tried to swallow jungwon’s cum, per his request, some of it dripped onto the floor. you were terrified of leaving evidence of this encounter, wishing you would’ve gulped it all back, but then you felt jake’s cum leaking out of you and your priorities shifted.

“my turn,” jay said, though that was a given. you were confused when he started to spread jake’s cum over your asshole, though for the longest you could feel his stare burning through your backside.

baffled, and maybe somewhat startled, you asked, “jay, what are you doing?”

“shut the fuck up,” jay snapped belligerently, smacking his palm harshly against your cunt. you cried out in pain, unexpecting. “i’m tired of hearing your voice. just take it.”

but nothing could have prepared you for what was to come. nothing could have prepared you for the merciless way he penetrated your ass, effectively knocking the wind out of you. you felt like you couldn’t breathe, as if all the air in the sky was stolen and hid in this little box somewhere.

you wanted to scream, you wanted to beg for forgiveness for whatever you had done, but no sound would come from your mouth. there was only instant tears, your hands gripped the rim of your desk for purchase. the makeup you were wearing was ruined ages ago, but it had to have looked despicable now, because you were sobbing harder than ever.

“poor thing.” jungwon frowned, pretending to be compassionate. that was something he was good at, you realized. he had you fooled until you saw how recklessly he fucked your throat, and you came to accept they were all too alike.

“she’ll be, fuck, fine,” jay groaned, careless. he was the roughest of the bunch, the most antagonistic. “this hole is so fucking tight.”

jay was pressing you against the desk harder than jake had, roughly mishandling you. it was obvious that jay didn’t see you as his equal. when it came to you, all he gave a damn about was passing your class and fucking your ass.

never in your life had anyone ever fucked you there before, and the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. you were so repulsed, choking on your own feelings as they killed you slowly. the pain was unbearable, making it impossible to remain still, but that didn’t matter when jay had you borderline flattened.

it was almost awe-inducing how he held you down with ease, regardless of how strong you thought you were and how violently you were reacting. it was the closest thing to being split open. pitiful little noises escaped you, but you bit them back, because the last thing you wanted was to get caught. somehow, though, the shock was more agonizing than the pain itself.

your agonized whimpers and jay’s husky grunts made an awkward cacophony. if there was any of them that got off to your helplessness, you knew it was all of them, but jay had to wallow in it more than either of them.

jake and jungwon were stroking their cocks to the sight of you being ravaged to the point of total destruction. there were plenty of times in your life where you felt nothing short of broken, but this was a different variant, a kind from which you knew that you would never recover.

jay couldn’t believe his thick cock was even fitting into your tight, flexing asshole, though then again, whatever you thought you couldn’t take, jay would make you do. your body was for his own personal amusement. he leveraged himself deeper and deeper, groaning and laughing, using you to his advantage. because what jay wanted, he always got. every time without fail. obviously, you were no exception to this pattern, even if it was to your own dismay.

your lip was bleeding from how frequently you were biting. all you wanted was to protect your reputation. you had things to lose, things you knew jay would steal away from you in a heartbeat, because all he did was take.

“she’s such a damn whore, fuck. she should be grateful i’m fucking her,” jay hissed, aggressive.

given how much you had heard adjacent statements in the past hour, you were starting to believe them, no matter how disparaging they were. you were accepting the cold truth, that this was your punishment for being unfaithful.

quickening his pace, jay continued, “i’ve never wanted to fuck that nasty little pussy of hers. not when everybody’s been inside of it. but i can tell she’s never had this ass stretched before.”

his words were hurting more than his cruel movements, and you didn’t understand the science behind that. you whined, “jay.” please, have mercy, was what you wanted to say, but you knew there was no point.

jay squeezed your neck, cutting off your ability to inhale, and you felt every nerve in your body start to panic. “for the umpteenth time, shut the fuck up. no one’s fucking talking to you, bitch.”

you quieted, face tensing with delirious pain. 

“pathetic if you ask me,” jake added, breath shaky. “her husband’s dick isn’t good enough for her, so she fucks my dad, and now that we give her three more, she still has the audacity to complain.”

jungwon snorted. “textbook cockslut.”

you wanted to speak, you were desperate to defend your honor and identity, but you had already said enough and you were lucky that they hadn’t already decided to expose you to the whole planet. you had no defenses against them, nothing in your arsenal. 

“begging us to stop, but she won’t stop fucking cumming. needy little bitch,” jay chided, though judging from his breathlessness, he was far from disgruntled.

jungwon chortled, his cock still close to your face, and it was making you mildly uncomfortable. “maybe we should send her back to the husband with some tips.”

“oh, i’ve got one,” jake said, beaming with his usual mischief. “hold her down and use her little holes until you’re done.”

“yeah, looks like she loves that,” jungwon retorted. 

jay quipped, “we should’ve recorded. maybe showed him a tutorial.”

jake blew out a contented sigh. “well, there’s always next time.”

your heart was taut with fear at the thought of there being a next time, but the three of your students were grinning with excitement, as if they wholly anticipated reliving this moment in the not so distant future.

“fuck, i’m gonna cum,” jay grunted, wanting to go even deeper, but there was nowhere for him to move. 

jake hummed, reminiscing over how good it felt to cum inside of your throbbing pussy. how you milked the cum out of him, bled him dry. “shame she’s on birth control. i overheard her and my dad talking,” he replied, nonchalant. “imagine if we got her pregnant.”

“man, don’t talk like that,” jay groaned. 

jake glanced to jungwon, both of them snickering amongst each other. “dude, i was just kidding. don’t tell me that’s actually getting your dick hard.”

“fuck, i’m gonna…”

the most delicious growl came from the tip of jay’s tongue when he released inside of your asshole, his brows scrunching together with pleasure. his hips finally grinded to a halt when he met his climax, dumping way too much of his load inside. you could feel his fingertips leaving marks that would indefinitely stain your skin, and you dreaded having to explain them to your husband.

when jay finally pulled away from you, having had his fill for now, your body went limp against your desk. you could have moved, but you were too exhausted. sweat cooled down your back, chilling you to shudders, but there wasn’t a single thought in your head. all you could do was lie there, used and exploited, hoping that life would return to the way you knew it before they broke you.

because right now, it was bland. the only thing you could feel was the soreness in your legs and the cum dripping from your hole, numbing yourself to everything else.

there was so patronizing about the way jay turned to you, asking with the slyest grin on his face, “did you like it, dr. lee?”

TAGLIST: @ribbioniki, @yunakj, @vvenusoncasual, @lovingvoidgoatee , @iloveu-143, @bigwforjay, @hooniehon, @adoredbyjay, @cloud-lyy, @firstclassjaylee, @captainsaposts, @tinycatharsis

[bitchface24-7]

THE SEDUCTIVE PROFESSOR VIKTOR PT2

synopsis: after completing “The Science Behind Magic: HXT101” with straight As your darling Professor Viktor decides to reward you. After all, you're no longer his student... So you two are no longer breaking any rules. And he can have you in Any. Way. He. Wants.

warnings: age gap (viktor’s gotta be anywhere in his 30s-40s to be a professor, reader is in their 20s (early to late I don’t really care) ), technically still a power imbalance, switch leaning dom!viktor, I tried my best to make this gender-neutral, this isn’t gonna be a full on story, just bullet points I come up with, Grammarly as my beta

genre: m/f or m/m

p.s. Please save me from this man, why is he invading my every thought and dream? He's making me realize things about myself.

Being in higher education is a total pain in the ass.

Having Viktor as your professor made it a million times easier.

Especially since you finished his class as the top student. The look on Viktors face when the charts were released still gives you butterflies to this day.

You're officially a graduate of your STEM program! And with how amazing your grades are, and how many spectacular references you got; you were able to become Viktor’s TA. Allowing for Jayce to become the Lab Professor of “The Science Behind Magic: HXT101” (they still alternate roles. They hate being confined to one aspect of teaching.)

Especially since you're now secretly dating the most sought-after professor the academy has ever had.

You know it’s still frowned upon, a TA dating their superior, but at least it’s not as bad as a student fucking their professor. You're guilty on both counts.

You only have a scheduled class twice a week. Once on Tuesdays in the morning, and once on Thursdays in the afternoon. The rest of the week you're free to do whatever (and whomever) you please. It's mostly built this way so you can have enough time to grade almost a hundred assignments and still have time to relax.

You two have squeezed that schedule dry.

You've had sex in the classroom, in your shared office, in the library, in each others apartments.

You're fucking like rabbits.

You'll never forget when you were honestly, truly, just trying to grade some papers with Viktor in the library and all of a sudden you're getting fondled underneath the table and you're covering your mouth trying not to get caught.

You were rewarded that night with how well you behaved. You made sure you two didn't get caught. How sweet.

But there have been times when you've been bratty; desperately craving Viktor's love and attention.

And you got it, in the form of you getting your throat fucked and ass smacked with Viktors cane. He didn't stop until you had tears streaming down your face and your ass was a beautiful mixture of red, purple, and blue.

(you were too stubborn to use your safe word)

The looks of concern your students shot you as Viktor subtly yet smugly drank his sweetened coffee made your blood boil in both anger and lust.

You could barely sit or move due to the spanking, and you could barely talk due to the pounding your throat received. Making it so Viktor taught the class and you sat there pretty; and incredibly uncomfortable.

Some students shot you pointed looks but you pretended they weren't there.

But… there has been instances where YOU were the dominant one.

Where you sucked his cock under his desk, not caring if colleagues came in to chat. Even if it was the dean.

Where you rode him into the mattress, painting his pretty neck and chest with a smattering of hickies.

Where you sat on his face until your body gave out due to how skilled he is with his fingers and tongue.

You're not sure you've ever orgasmed this much before in your life, but you’re not complaining!

Aside from the mind-blowing sex… dating Viktor is like a dream come true.

He’s caring, sweet, kind, and thoughtful. He's still snarky and sassy with a dry dirty humour but… he's perfect.

And you wouldn't change a damn thing about him.

Even when you two are cuddled up in bed late at night and you're having a deep conversation, and Viktor’s insecurities peek through, you shut that shit down immediately.

You're in awe over the fact Viktor's never been in a proper relationship before.

You make a promise to yourself after learning that. You'll be Viktor's first and last relationship.

Till death do you part baby! You wonder which ring will look best on your ring finger.

(but that's a bit farther into the future. Enjoy your relationship as it is now with its sweetness and crazy freak nasty sex)

[mixolya]

ᓚᘏᗢ — beneath the stars, we became one: chapter 019.

the wind carried a biting chill that matched the heavy weight in your chest as you stood outside the school gates, nervously fidgeting with the strap of your bag. you'd spent the entire two days mustering up the courage to ask rin to talk. all the overthinking, the sleepless nights, and the hollow ache in your chest - it all boiled down to this moment.

as students filtered out, you spotted him walking down the path, his teal eyes focused ahead. he hadn’t acknowledged you at all throughout the day. not in class. not in the hallways. not even when your eyes practically begged for him to look at you.

“rin!” you called out, your voice trembling slightly.

he paused but didn’t turn to you right away. when he finally did, his gaze was cold. you swallowed hard, pushing through the tight knot forming in your throat.

“can we talk?” you asked hesitantly, taking a cautious step toward him.

got a moment, he just stared at you, as if debating whether to walk away. but then, with a sharp exhale, he nodded. “fine.”

you led him to a quieter spot in the park, away from the crowd, your hands trembling slightly. once you stopped, you turned to face him, your heart hammering in your chest.

“i…” you faltered, struggling to find the right words. “i just wanted to talk. about everything. about us.”

rin's expression didn’t change. his stoic demeanor only made the weight of your words feel heavier.

“i know i've been distant,” you continued, your voice barely above a whisper. “but i just-”

“what's the point?” he interrupted, his tone sharp and cutting.

you blinked, stunned by the bitterness in his voice. “what do you mean?”

“i mean, what’s the point of this?” rin's teal eyes narrowed as he gestured vaguely between the two of you. “you want to talk? now? after ignoring my texts, avoiding me, acting like i don’t exist? like we didn't kiss?"

your throat tightened as guilt twisted in your stomach. “i wasn’t ignoring you, rin. i just-”

“you just what?” he snapped, taking a step closer. “you needed time? space? to figure things out? you think this is how it works?”

you recoiled slightly, his words hitting you like a slap. “rin, i didn’t mean to—”

“you make me sick.”

the words were like a dagger to your heart, sharp and unforgiving. for a moment, you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

“what?” you whispered, your voice breaking.

rin's jaw clenched, his gaze burning into yours. “you play these games. push me away, pull me back in, and expect me to just go along with it. i should've blocked you after the project. do you even know what you want?”

tears pricked at your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. “rin, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you. i was scared. scared of getting hurt, scared of losing myself agai-”

“then why bother?” he interrupted again, his voice colder now. “why are you even here?”

“because i care about you!” you shouted, your voice cracking. the confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable.

but rin didn’t respond. he just stared at you, his expression unreadable, before turning away.

“forget it,” he muttered, his tone void of any emotion. “this was a mistake.”

and with that, he walked away, leaving you standing there, shattered and alone.

the tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over, your vision blurring as you clutched your chest, the ache unbearable. his words replayed in your mind, over and over, each time cutting deeper than the last.

you wanted to scream, to run after him, to make him understand. but you couldn’t move. all you could do was stand there, the weight of his words crushing you.

in that moment, it felt like the world had stopped, leaving you in the silence of your heartbreak.

chapter 018 > here > chapter 020

back to beneath the stars, we became one !

my taglist is open <3

a/n: i started this pic seven days ago and we're almost finished guys !! (dw i won't break ur heart)

taglist: @byakgans @bluberrymochi17 @levihanmyotp @x3nafix @etojlee @chuuyalvover @reocidal @syarc0re @azinniyaa @vashyuu @rwbie @idexmids @giaalorine @modxbea @nensi @anqelkoz @sapph1r3x @yuukigyatgyat @morgyyyyyyy @azharyy @chaerinmin @thenightsflower @narcjsistx @totheseok @meekydeeks @aerisevx @imas1mpp

© mixolya 2025. do not copy, remake or edit any of my works.

[champion-of-love]

whoops only just saw this now since i can only see submissions on desktop not on mobile but i'll try my best to summarize most of my thoughts

SHE'S SO GORGEOUS AND PINK I LOVE HER!!!

(images of the new doll from DollBoy29 on twitter)

first of all, i think it's a gorgeous doll. not a collector myself, but if i was, i would buy it in a heartbeat. anything was a step up from the budget doll lines from eah that cupid was last in so i'm thankful for that. (also, not an expert on fashion or dolls. so please take my review with a grain of salt)

i like the theming/style that they went with her doll. the style of french rococo is very much romantic and whimsical and i think it pairs well with cupid's character motifs and imagery. though the style isn't 1:1 to rococo fashion, the inspiration is still very much there. the hair and the dress pair very well and i think it's a great design.

(Top right image is Lady Altamont by George Romney. Bottom left is Rococo Terminology from Epochs of Fashion)

while i like it overall, i'm kind of iffy about some of the little details:

(1) in her previous mh dolls, her hands faded to black. a nod to her heritage as a bone elemental. in this new doll, only her legs fade to black while her arms don't. i don't understand keeping this feature for one set of limbs but not for the other. either keep it for both or remove it for both. or maybe find another way to showcase she's an elemental. but kind of a sloppy design choice imo.

(2) another one i don't like is the hot pink accessories on her!!! not to be a nitpicker, but this shade of hot pink/fuschia is not cupid's palette. her previous dolls (not counting the budget ones) pretty much stuck to her shades of pink (bubblegum, coral, light pink) which i think better suit her. also her accessories have been consistently bronze (or black) which fits her ancient greek background. and she's pretty much the only mh girl in g1 to utilize bronze. she is not a hot pink girl!

(also having her headband be the same color range as her hair makes it blend into the background and doesn't help it pop. the hot pink makes it look a bit cheap and i'd rather the accessories be in the shade of bronze in the other pics.)

(3) i also don't like her new cupid's bow lips. i prefer the old one and the bright taffy pink doesn't suit the rest of the doll. i think a more rose pink would have been better to suit the red heart. or keep the background of the heart uncolored like the g1 doll.

and so as not to end on a sour note, i saved the new things i liked for the end!

(1) her new wings! oh my ghouls just absolutely beautiful! very much reminds me of rococo pattern. i could see this in the wallpaper or metalwork of the rococo period. the entire shape of the wing is a heart and the curls inside are in the shapes of heart too. the mantua of her dress is also in hearts which is just so pretty.

(2) her new shoes! so pretty. the platform of the heel is in the style of ancient greek columns which is an amazing detail. the straps of the shoes look to be made of braided rope which is what greeks used to tie their chitons/tunics with is also another great detail. the heel of her shoes is also a bow and arrow! while i do miss her winged shoes from previous dolls, she can still fly without them and i think this is an equally great shoe. (ashlynn would be proud.)

(3) her new hair and her eye makeup!!!! the new hair is gorgeous and beautiful and has so much volume. while best curls and volume of all time (for me), still goes to honey swamp, cupid is very much the runner up. i also adore the different shades of pink in her hair as opposed to her one shade of pink hair from last time. her eye makeup is also so pretty! the blue eyeshadow brings out her eyes and i love the hearts around her pupil and the hearts around the edges of her eyes! sooooo pretty.

tldr: a gorgeous doll, some details i don't like, but very much love the larger changes they made

[imbadatwrighting]

PAIRINGS: dean winchester x ditzy!winchester!reader, sam winchester x ditzy!winchester!reader

SUMMARY: Sam and Dean don’t take too nicely to someone judging their sister even when she’s pretending to be a fairy.

a/n: i need to start writing more so i get more comfortable with it 😭🙏 i feel like this is honestly crap but I’m trying you guys but anyways thx for requesting anon :)

The Winchester brothers knew they had to pick their battles carefully. They barely got you out of the motel bed, today wasn’t the day to criticize you about your choice in clothing. Not even when they noticed you putting on fairy wings.

Sam only sighed, grabbing your hairbrush and walking over to you. It seemed the excitement of your fairy outfit finally got you energized. Which would be fine if you weren’t bouncing excitedly on the bed. “Stop moving, baby,” he muttered, as he carefully brushed your hair.

It seemed to go in one ear and out the other as you stopped for a max of one minute before bouncing and squirming again. It was a struggle to comb through the nightmare that was your bed hair without causing you any pain but Sam managed to get it done. He started putting your hair into sections like always, planning on braiding your hair just like you always wanted. "No, no," you whined, shaking your head to make him drop the pieces. "Fairies don't braid their hair," you pouted.

"Are you sure, honey?" he asked but as you nodded your head, Sam relented, letting your hair drop and giving you a kiss on the top of your head. "Go wait in the car with Dean; I got to go get ready," Sam murmured.

You giggled as you rushed out of the room, grabbing your frog stuffy and the cassette tape you made yourself. Fairies loved frogs—or at least you thought they did.

It was a little bit of a struggle to get out the door with your fairy wings, but you managed. When you got outside you could see Dean sitting in the driver’s seat listening to some of his music. You scurried over to the impala, hopping in the backseat and holding out your cassette tape.

“Dee, put this in! Please!” you grinned, shaking the tape to get his attention. Dean glanced at the tape before a loud laugh escaped his lips and he gently pushed your arm away. You pouted, leaning forward to put it in yourself.

Dean grabbed your arm within a second, not letting you move it anymore. “Did you suddenly forget the rules, babygirl? Driver picks the music not his little sister.”

“Then pick this!” you nagged, trying to fight against your big brother’s grip with no avail. “I made it myself, you gotta, Dee!”

“No,” Dean hissed, his eyes sharp as he turned to look at you in the backseat. “You’re lucky I’m not making you change out of that ridiculous outfit. I am not putting in that damn cassette tape!”

Immediately, Dean Winchester knew he lost the battle. His eyes softening as your sad frown formed and your eyes got glassy in what seemed like one millisecond. “You don’t like my outfit?” you asked, your voice wobbly.

Dean seemed to pause, internally cursing at himself for making you upset. “Of course I do, sweetheart,” he replied quickly, not sure what to say without sounding like an asshole or liar. With a small sigh, he held out his hand. “Give me the tape,” he muttered.

Your smile overtook your once sad expression and next thing you know you were tossing the cassette tape to your brother. As much as Dean wanted to hate what was going on, he couldn’t find it in himself to hate it too much when you seemed so happy. Instead silently replacing the once rock music your “cooler” music.

“Enya? I didn’t know you liked her,” Sam teased as he opened the impala’s door and sat in the passenger seat, not reacting to the glare Dean sent his way. His green cotton shirt and jeans replaced with a cheap suit matching Dean’s.

“Shut up,” your oldest brother grumbled, starting the impala. The engine hummed loudly as Dean took off from the motel already breaking speed limits ten seconds into the drive.

The house the impala parked in front of almost made your eyes pop out of your head. Not because of the expensive decorations outside the house or the size of it but the fact that as you pulled up you noticed from a small glance they seemed to have a huge backyard. “Do you think they’ll let me play in their backyard?” you asked, already undoing your seatbelt.

“Wouldn’t hurt to ask,” Dean shrugged, grabbing his fake FBI badge as Sam handed it to him and stepping out of the car. “Just ask nicely,” Sam added, as he ran a hand over the slight wrinkles of his shirt.

You were nodding along, looking in adoration as you walked up the steps behind your brothers. Your eyes gazing on the small water fountain out front as the door opened. The woman opening the door was young, maybe early twenties at most and definitely not the owner of the house. Not like your brothers cared though, showing off their badges but not without a sly smile from Dean.

“I didn’t know the FBI worked with Tinkerbell to solve crimes nowadays,” the woman voiced as her eyes landed on you. Her eyebrow slightly raised at the fairy wings and flowing dress. You didn’t react to her words, already moving to sit on the swinging chair on the porch as soon as your eyes landed on it.

Dean looked down at his little sister before back up at the woman. “It’s bring your kid to work day,” he smiled albeit awkwardly. The woman seemed to accept that answer, giving you a small glance before opening her door wider, a wordless invite in.

Dean whistled as he started his way in, catching your attention. You stood back up following your brothers inside while humming a short tune and making sure your wings didn’t get stuck on the door.

It was a hassle to get any answers out of the woman as they sat in the living room. She beat around the bush with every question, clearly having no intention to be helpful, and meanwhile you wouldn’t stop mumbling out your tallest brother’s name, trying to get his attention nonstop, while he pretended to take notes as the woman went on a tangent.

“Shush, babygirl,” Dean muttered just loud enough for only you and Sam to hear. His foot giving yours a small tap. You rolled your eyes but didn’t continue, rather leaning back on the couch and grabbing Dean’s hand, fiddling with his fingers.

“Can I go out in your backyard?” you suddenly blurted out as you remembered your previous wish. The woman seemed slightly taken aback but then pursed her lips. “I don’t want you to like mess something up out there, but, um, you could play in the front. Just don’t… touch anything.” Sam couldn’t help but notice the underlying tone behind her overly sweet voice but you seemed too distracted to notice, or care.

You were up and out of the room in seconds, rushing off to let your imagination run wild. Neither Sam nor Dean took much notice in it, just happy you weren’t tripping and scrapping your knees. But the other woman in the room didn’t seem to share the same thoughts as your older brothers, seemingly distracted as Sam and Dean tried to question her about the paranormal activity. “Is she like… special? Because I don’t judge but I really don’t want her messing up the garden, you know?” The woman asked casually, turning her attention back to the boys in front of her.

The tension in the room became suffocating. Dean’s jaw clenched, his patience hanging by a thread, but it was Sam who spoke first. He straightened slightly, his voice sharp and incredulous. “Excuse me?” he said, narrowing his eyes at the woman.

She hesitated for a moment, then shrugged as though she hadn’t just stepped on a live wire. “My daddy says people like her are mentally defici—”

Dean’s boots thumped against the floor as he stood up and closed the space between them in a single, furious step. “Shut the fuck up,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous, each word cutting through the air like a knife. His green eyes were alight with anger. “I don’t give a shit what your father says, don’t talk about her like that.”

Sam moved quickly, stepping in front of Dean and pressing a firm hand to his chest. “Agent Smith!” he snapped, his voice a warning. It wasn’t like he wasn’t pissed off by the woman’s behavior, but he’d rather not have the police called on them because Dean couldn’t watch his mouth.

Dean’s gaze didn’t leave the woman, his entire body rigid with barely restrained rage. “You don’t get to talk about her like that,” he spat, his voice shaking with emotion. “You don’t get to talk about her at all. Do you hear me?”

The woman, clearly startled, stumbled back a step, her face paling. Sam kept his hand on Dean’s chest, though his own anger simmered just below the surface. “We’re done here,” Sam said coldly, his voice steady despite the tension in his frame. He gave Dean a small push back before turning away, not sparing the woman another glance.

Dean didn’t move at first, his fury still radiating off him, but when he heard the barely audible giggle from the front yard, his shoulders sagged just slightly. He pulled away from Sam and turned after handing his keys to Sam to unlock the car door, muttering under his breath as he headed off to get you. “She’s lucky I don’t—”

“Dean,” Sam warned again, his voice softer this time, and Dean let out a huff as he walked out the door. He found you crouched by the garden, your fairy wings slightly askew as you played with a stick and a patch of dirt. Without a word, Dean bent down becoming face to face with you. “C’mon, kiddo,” he murmured, his voice gentler now. “We’re getting out of here.”

You stood up as Dean grabbed your hand, humming slightly as you realized you weren’t playing FBI anymore. You didn’t bother to ask any questions as you silently followed behind your oldest brother. You leaned into his chest, tucking your face into his jacket.

Dean led you to the Impala, even buckling you into the backseat, checking your wings and seatbelt before slamming the door shut. He climbed into the driver’s seat, his knuckles white as he gripped the wheel. Sam slid into the passenger seat, turning his head to give you a weak smile before it dropped as he turned his head forward once again.

The Impala roared to life, and for a few moments, the only sound was the engine and the soft crinkle of your wings as you adjusted yourself in the backseat.

Sam broke the silence first, his voice low but calm. “Dean, you didn’t need to go that far.” Dean’s eyes stayed fixed on the road ahead, but his voice was unwavering. “Yes, I did,” he grumbled.

Sam didn’t argue, and after a beat, Dean’s voice softened as he glanced at the rearview mirror, where you played with your stuffed frog once more. “You good back there, princess?”

You grinned at him, and all of Dean’s earlier worries seemed to go forgotten. “Good, Dee,” you hummed.

Dean’s lips twitched into a small smile as he turned his attention back to the road. Sam leaned back in his seat with a heavy sigh, the tension finally easing as the Impala sped down the empty street, leaving the house—and the woman—far behind them.

[destinationcompletefeminiziation]

Sure I would.

But in reality.

I will never be.

But I tell ya

I am striving to be best the woman I can.

I understand with my transformation.

That it will take time and I need to be patient.

I hope so much my reflection will change in time.

I might never be the perfect woman.

Then again is there a perfect woman?

Apart from Audrey Hepburn

But can live with that.

I am so happy that I followed my heart and my destiny last year.

Never will I regret it,

The only thing that I regret is never did it sooner.

I was just so lost really.

Think, I let my poor unfortunate penis rule my head in my confused youth. Was it just the lust of wanting to be in their knickers or was it just being able to call them as your own??

It was really weird having girlfriends that you really wanted or inspired to be.

I thought to myself if you can beat them join them.

Which made things even more confusing to me.

I know that this might sound absurd to some.

But I don't really care about the some.

Within saying that.

I have always felt that my i should have born as a girl.

So I bit the bullet last year and took the steps to make it happen.

I felt that if I did not do it. I would have cheated myself of one the most wonderful life experiences that I could ever have.

I love so much being the authentic me.

And I ain't shy about it showing it. Or just being her in every Enth

I feel that I am woman to the absolute core .

🩷🤍💙

[bengiyo]

Ben's Big BL Blurb 4: I Hope I See Jay Sorathon Again

New year, new blurb. Time to reflect on a few shows finishing, talk about some new shows, and see where we're at in January.

Haunted Hearts Sucked

Final Verdict: 5.5, Not Recommended. Y'all don't need to watch this weird mess of a show. Despite joking about "devirginizing" its lead multiple times, it was so chaste in the end. It also did some weird world shenanigans I was not feeling. The leads are supposed to be in another Oxin Films project soon, so we'll see if they're better there.

Caged Again Flopped

Final Verdict: 6, Recommended Only For Jay Sorathon. This one really hurts me, because I genuinely loved the first half of this show. Jay Sorathon as Junior was one of the most refreshing experiences I've had in a while. This young actor is charming in a way that felt different, and I found myself enjoying every scene he was in because he could deliver what he was asked to do. However, the show generally failed to do much with most of its themes, and I think it was a real waste of Nokia and Jaonine as a pair. There were interesting themes about how Junior and Sun wanted different things out of their relationship that didn't get resolved, so all of their skinship felt disconnected from the big themes they were teasing out.

I am sad that I cannot really recommend this as a complete viewing experience, but I do not want that to detract from how much I enjoyed the entire cast's chemistry. I just cannot pretend that this show didn't peak at the gif used above before floundering completely.

An Apology to City of Stars

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I skipped this show originally because I was overloaded and unmoved by the first episode. However, this show was actually one of the most consistent narratives we've had about the consequences of fan culture, sponsorship, and commercialization of queer actors we've had this year. Unlike Only Boo!, this show inflicted real consequences on Feuang for coming out to the point that he essentially had to change careers (which happens to real actors all the time, going back as far or further than William Haines).

The leads also kept having sex after getting together! A novel experience! I loved that Krom had almost no swag, and Feuang fell for him entire on family photos and his mom gushing over him. He really won as a tech worker. Watch this if you're interested in seeing a show with clear ideas about the entertainment industry and are willing to deal with some weak acting.

Our Youth Left Me A Bit Wanting

Final Verdict 8: Recommended With Reservations. I wrote my write up for this already, and will say here that I like parts of this show a lot even though I wasn't fully satisfied by the viewing experience.

See Your Love Got All The Important Things Right

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended for the Mains. I will admit that I didn't much care for the side couple, but I loved Shaopeng and Sean's relationship. I loved that this wasn't a story about fixing someone's hearing so they could be in a romance. I also love that one of our final scenes in Shaopeng's dad telling Sean's dad to go fuck himself. The leads reminded me of Jimmy and Tommy from Why R U and I loved their work together.

Love in the Air Koi Was a Genuine Delight

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I liked it a lot. I think new and old fans will be able to enjoy it. I have high hopes about cross-cultural adaptations as a result.

Love is Like a Poison Was Spectacular

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. I had so much fun with this show. I love that this show blended multiple genres together, and I loved that Shiba was always in a legal drama. By blending this together this way, the show supports the idea that the different ways we love and see the world are not incompatible in relationships. Shiba and Haruto are one of the best couples we had this past year, because they each made the other better, and they each add something to their relationship. Also, this show was actively horny the entire time. Run, do not walk, to support this show (if you can) on Netflix.

Fragrance You Inherit Was The One of the Kindest Shows I've Ever Seen

Final Verdict: 9.5, Highly Recommended. Thanks to the constant efforts of @isaksbestpillow we were able to enjoy this incredible show. @twig-tea already wrote a great review. I will be thinking about Sakura and Touki for years. I will just add that I really loved that Hoshii was just a goofy dude that loved the women in his home. He respected both of them, and was just so happy to be included in their shenanigans. I cannot overstate how much the episode where we met him properly kicked this show into overdrive for me. I loved that he was a good dad and husband and that it was clear his wife and daughter felt safe and happy around him. I loved that this show was about kind people doing their best.

Okay, on to the currently airing stuff.

Your Sky is Faltering, but I Still Like It (8/12)

Look, I am just not keen on the Oh redemption arc. I'm also feeling the show dragging its feet at this point. I also am not sure what the relationship between the various sides are contributing to this story. That being said, I continue to enjoy the chemistry between the leads, and I am looking forward to seeing their dating era. This show has been riding the line on the bubble, and I am curious to see where it lands.

Ossan's Love Thailand (1/12)

I've grown to love Ossan's Love over the last year, and so I was cautiously optimistic about this adaptation. I don't think the humor is as tight or zippy as I would expect, and I think the branded pair component is hurting some of the initial setup. I also feel like the shower scene shifted in a way that doesn't entirely work. In addition, making Kongdetch a widower slows down his dramatic development. I'll check in again next month.

Call Me By No Name Started Weird (1/8)

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

This show got off to a moody and somewhat intriguing start. I am looking forward to our little gamer's interactions with this possibly-fey creature for the coming weeks. It's difficult when the show starts coy.

When It Rains It Pours Has an Uphill Battle (1/7)

I am personally interested in the journey this show wants to go on as what will more than likely be a double cheating narrative. I like that the show started with boy guys in relationships they feel a bit frustrated with due to a lack of intimacy that is being actively ignored by their respective partners. I'm also intrigued because both partners seem like they're overall committed to our leads. This one started off in a mild note, so I'm curious how it holds audience attention. Still, both leads had sad masturbation scenes, one explicitly remembering when his partner used to fuck him, so it has my attention.

That's all for now! I'll check back in with one of these in a few weeks and we'll see where we're at.

[lyliaswonderland]

- ꒰ঌ ໒꒱ - 𝓦𝔥𝔞𝗍’𝗌 𝒊𝖓 м𝔂 𝘣𝘢𝔤 𓊆𝕱𝖺𝗆𝔢 𝓓𝔯𓊇 ۶ৎ

✶ ⋆ . ˚ ⊹ ₊ ⋆

✶ ⋆ . ˚ ⊹ ₊ ⋆

𝔅ag 1 : ✶ 𝘌 𝘝 𝘌 𝘙 𝘠 𝘋 𝘈 𝘠 𓂃₊ ⊹

- My everyday bag, a Miu Miu Aventure Nappa Leather Bag my go-to where i keep anything and everything. (Yes i made my bag fit literally anything in it, but its never heavy). Some of the main treasures tucked inside include :

✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.

𝓜akeup bag : Home to all my favorite makeup products, like my cherished fenty skin tint, hourglass eyeshadow palette, merit concealer and blush and a rainbow of lip products (about or over 10).

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　

𝓙ournal : I could never leave my house without it, it’s like a part of me, my constant companion. I pull it out anytime anything comes to mind and write it down, so one page could be a diary entry writing about my 50th existential crisis and the next is a love poem i wrote down at 4am drunk.

　　 ˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,　　　　　　.

𝓑ook : Whatever my current read is, though it rarely lasts longer than a day before it's devoured.

ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

𝓒amera : A birthday gift from my mom, i snap pictures with it every second of the day.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　⠀

𝓜y phone : Obviously a need. My phone case changes as often as my mood.

　　　*　　⠀.

𝓦allet : The keeper of my cash and cards, and it’s Vivienne Westwood!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　⠀⠀⠀✦ ⠀ ⠀　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

𝓔xtra makeup : My favorite lip products, rhode lip tint in toast, dior lip oil and clinique’s black honey. You can always find them in my bag. And a cute golden shell compact mirror (if it even counts as extra makeup)

ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

𝓔verything else : I always have my keys and car keys and a billion charms, glasses i adore but dont really need, a pack of cigarettes and lighter in the shape of a cowboy boot, a hairbrush cause my hair never cooperates with me, hand cream for my eternally dry hand, a claw clip to remove my hair from my face, headphones, dr pepper flavoured gum, a bueno and my favorite perfume of all time, Scandal by Jean Paul Gaultier.

　　　　　　*⠀　　⠀  　　　　　⠀✦⠀　

✶ ⋆ . ˚ ⊹ ₊ ⋆

𝔅ag 2 : ✶ 𝘞 𝘖 𝘙 𝘒 𓂃₊ ⊹

- This is my main work bag, aka when I have an acting job (i also bring it when i have a modelling gig). It carries a lot of things, like :

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀* ⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　.

𝓜y script : The holy grail of any set day, covered in highlights and notes, both mine and my castmates' doodles and scribbles.

ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

𝓢econd journal : Yes, another one! This one is dedicated to work musings— whether that's jotting down thoughts on a new role or a makeup tip from a modeling shoot.

✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

𝓟ens and highlighters : I'm always stocked, often buying packs of ten just because i ran out of one pen. I adore highlighting my notes (or sneakily marking others).

　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

𝓜akeup bag : This ones more minimalist, carries less makeup, but more essentiala, like concealer or a blush for quick touch ups.

　　　　　✦⠀　   　　　,

𝓒amera : Yup another camera, but this ones special since i got it from Mike Faist while shooting Challengers.

　　　　.　　　　.　　　

𝓔verything else : I always carry any sort of snack with me, usually m&ms or skittles, a cup of coffee to freshen myself up during early shoots, meds incase i or anyone else feels a bit sick, my trailer keys, strawberry lip balm i got from Havana Rose Liu shooting Bottoms, letters, notes and other things i took from sets, my favorite pair of sunglasses and a golden heart necklace gifted by a castmate shooting Arcane.

✶ ⋆ . ˚ ⊹ ₊ ⋆

𝔅ags 3 : ✶ 𝘖 𝘛 𝘏 𝘌 𝘙 𓂃₊ ⊹

- Some other bags i really like and are switched out with my everyday bag sometimes. They’re smaller, but fit a lot.

✦⠀　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*

the theme for this post is ib the lovely, inspring and talented @hrrtshape

[katmostardently]

Set after the Doyle arc, Emily’s been a bit distant and guilty for everything, you’ve been patient nonetheless.

Implied death, hurt/comfort, fluff, barely implied smut

ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

Word count: 737 words

a/n: I got some ideas after listening to Would You Fall in Love with Me Again, it’s short but it’s 4 am, I blame all my mistakes on that. I currently have some ideas for longer stuff but I’m lazy, tired, and uninspired so here are my scraps!! :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

Would You Fall in Love with Me Again

“I’m sorry, I know I’m not the Emily you fell in love with.”

Her voice cracked, and you’d never quite seen Emily so broken down. You could see the genuine sorrow in her eyes, each line of her face filled with guilt. After getting out of a life or death situation because of Doyle, it was as though the only thing she had left for you was regret. Emily hated it, because someone like you didn’t deserve it

Someone like you didn’t deserve to have your heart shattered, torn to bits, to be forced into grieving, just to have it all been for nothing. Yet here you were, and that was just what happened.

Even if a week had passed since her return, hardly anything was settling in, even then, you were still there.

You placed the plate of spaghetti you’d just prepared for Emily down, settling on the couch next to her. “Emily-“, you were quick to start, and Emily was quick to silence you.

“I’m sure you’re more upset than anyone on the team, you… You’re wearing my ring for god’s sake, I couldn’t bring myself to even let you know about all this…” Emily’s mouth had quivered, letting out a shaky breath as she turned to you. “I made you wait, and now I’m not even the woman you adored so much. Y/n, I…”

She looked at you, not wanting to leave you alone ever again, but at that same moment, not feeling worthy to hold you in her arms. “I’m so sorry…” Sure, Emily was in fact changed, anyone would be.

She had this tired look in her eyes, like she wasn’t truly there, like she needed some escape. You saw it in the moments where she got home from work, when she’d secretly discard your food at night. The cigarettes in Emily’s pockets, the nights you’d wake up and cradle her through a nightmare. It all tore away at her piece by piece.

But in those same eyes, you saw the same eyes that lit up every time you were near, the same eyes that called to you with a single glance.

The same eyes, pooled with that intense devotion, that stared up to you when she knelt down on one knee a year ago.

“It’s true, you left me waiting, and it hurt, the fact that I couldn’t know you were alright.” You answered her honestly, “but it hurt even more to think you were dead. I wanted whatever monster took you from me to suffer, and I felt cursed thinking that you were taken from me.”

Before she could muster a response, you took Emily’s hand, holding it against your cheek.

Instinctively, she traced her thumb against your lips.

“And I’m so, so, so happy that you’ve come back to me.” With the way you were looking at her, Emily was certain that she’d married a princess—no, some generous, all forgiving goddess.

“I don’t deserve you…” She whispered, her hand continuing its gentle caress.

You let out a little chuckle at her words, shaking your head, “see, now only my Emily, would say something so untrue. Because you, Emily Prentiss, deserve the world.”

Then to be exact, it felt as though you gave Emily a whole galaxy, because in moments like these you always brought her some solace. There was not a single doubt you couldn’t crush with your benign palms.

She could simply hold you close in response, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you felt her heartbeat.

Emily knew that her heart would never stop, not when she’d been given the best of all women to be her fiance. She vowed to never let it stop, not when you’d be waiting for her, she could never again leave you frozen in time. Her dearest, y/n y/l/n, soon to be y/n Prentiss.

Perhaps she didn’t have to worry all that much, because somehow, you fell back in love with her new, shattered self. But really, you just simply never stopped loving her, there was no need to win you back, to make you fall in love again.

“Now… Your spaghetti’s gonna get cold….” You reminded, about to move when Emily stopped you, tenderly pushing you against the cushions. “I want my fiancé right now, not some spaghetti…” She murmured against your neck, and you smiled in response.

Forevermore, you’d never even think of giving up Emily Prentiss.

[onbanksofadragonriver]

Hey, so I was thinking about this, and then this post crossed my dash again and — bloody hell, Solas, a spirit of pride, ex-wisdom, the guy who refuses to LIE and approves of people looking for TRUTH, called the GOD OF LIES?

* Disclaimer here — I haven't played the game myself, and I can only operate with what information I see on tumblr or youtube so take all this with a grain of salt.

It doesn't make any sense to me, why Solas, the professional rebel leader and trickster (but not exactly a liar!), who had been leading people against the evanuris for centuries, who had elves flocking to him at the end of Trespasser, is suddenly alone. I imagine that whatever the devs tell themselves happened to make Solas alone maybe also kinda broke his dedication to truthfulness, so in Veilguard he's angrily decided to, fine, he'll be the villain, he'll be the liar.

Anger and despair is a disastrous basis for any decision, but, coupled with the fragile state of the Veil and the enormous, debilitating sense of sunken costs, it could narratively explain the change in Solas. Like, he believes he's done such terrible things, he's caused so much pain and misery, he's (potentially) rejected his one chance at personal happiness, he's betrayed and killed his (toxically beloved) friend/mentor/lover? Mythal, so fuck it, why not become the liar and traitor they all expect him to be, as long as it gets the job done.

Rook talking to him, trying to help untangle that huge mess of guilt and despair would have been SO ON POINT in a game that takes its time off from saving the world to sort out the companions' personal issues. In case of Neve they make sense because making sure at least one part of the world is as safe as can be ties in with the larger objective, but picnics in the woods? Dinner with Taash's mum? Standard grave upkeep rituals that, for some reason, haven't been delegated to someone else while Emmrich is away? Not sure.

In DAI random fetch quests or even going out of your way for companion personal quests made more sense, because there's an entire army, a network of agents, a ton of correspondence with nobles doing the work of saving the world in the background, plus, Corypheus is, for long periods of time, working behind the scenes, instead of actively corrupting entire cities with Blight. But Rook has only themselves, and their companions to stop Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan. Everyone else is largely fending for themselves, or their immediate areas. Every day counts!

But they do. The entire message of the game seems to be: the past is the past; what matters is who we are here and now.

So why not LISTEN to Solas? On the one hand, there are Solas' memories and the possibility to get Morrigan's or Mythal's input on why Solas is doing what he does but there is precious little in-depth interaction and actual listening to Solas himself. Finding out what happened, why is he alone, where did all the agents go? Why is no one helping him? What exactly was the plan? What went wrong in the first place, because Mythal didn't want him to put up the Veil, it was a mistake, it was not meant to happen. (I also have a question, who the hell were the Evanuri's fighting and why have the devs forgotten the Forgotten Ones; did their prison in the Void hold better than the one Fen'Harel made for the Evanuris??)

Anyway, imagine if the good and kind person Rook is kinda forced to be due to the game dialogue and choices — someone who didn't know Solas before, someone who knows from the start who Solas is and what he has done; someone who was only meant to stop him, based on Varric's stories and extended friendship — this person STILL listens. This person STILL considers his side of the story. (and maybe then stabs him in the back but - it has been an informed decision, Solas should approve)

I think there are certain parallels with Anders, who tried everything he could to improve the situation of mages, before he ran out of options and blew up the Chantry. So did Solas fight the Evanuris for centuries, before he came to the conclusion that only a Fade prison would stop them. Anders didn't want to get Hawke involved, and Solas didn't want to involve the Inquisitor. The difference is that DA2 clearly showed how the Templars and the Chantry abuse the mages, Kirkwall was a brutal game in that regard, even if it still pretended to play with the idea that maybe Templars/Circles/Chantry are right. The result was the same regardless of how the player went about it and what he believed in — Anders blew up the Chantry and Hawke was banished from Kirkwall.

So I wonder what deliciously disastrous emotional fallout we were robbed of — if Rook could listen to Solas, if they were given an in-game opportunity to believe in his cause, take his side in bringing down the Veil. And THEN (for sake of future games' continuity) Rook finds out the 'safe plan' is not gonna work after all and has the option to either talk down or betray Solas :)))

Something something. Making Solas a liar in Veilguard actively brings back a problem they fixed working on Inquisition.

On December 20 2019 VGS posted an interview with Trick Weekes about their work on Solas. This whole sentence is a link so its large enough for mobile but also disclaimer this is before they changed their name so deadname warning.

Here's a transcription I found here which is where i took the screenshots above. Since I know not everyone has 40 minutes to listen to an online radio interview.

I however highlighted the main point since most of you are not reading the screenshots anyway but skimming through. Rant under Read-more. Also bc i try to not be too negative on people's dashs but also i wanna ramble some more.

"But he lied a lot more. And it really weakened his character."

You can tell this happened during the game. Solas lies only once within Inquisition. He says something he can't be vague about and you push him so he lies, badly. He usually tells the truth vaguely. Typically Solas lies no more than Blackwall.

I fully believe that if in Inquisition your inquisitor figured out that Solas was Fen’harel and asked him bluntly to his face he'd confess. He might even be impressed. But why would you ever start to think that. No one assumes that their coworker is actually Poseidon regardless of how much they love the beach and ocean.

He hides in your expectations.

You can't ask him about being an ancient elf or being Fen'harel of myth because those aren't very probable. They're astronomically low to be truth within that universe. And outside, no one finished DA2 and went i wonder if one of our next companions is the Dread Wolf. Sera said, impossible things can't be surprises. He doesn't have to lie so when the truth comes out it's becomes obvious on a second playthrough.

They then actively bring back a problem they fixed in Inquisitions development. That they were open about fixing. That having a character that outright lies to you makes you have no intention of even hearing out the character. It retroactively undercuts Inquisition bc i see people trying to find Solas' lies in it when they aren't going to find any beyond the court intrigue.

It undercuts any lore we do get from Solas bc people dismiss it outright as being a lie from Mr "I abhor blood magic". I feel like shaking people's shoulders like no, dont do it.

They retconned him guys i have proof from 2019.

And its like if you hate Solas is this even satisfying? Like that's not Solas. His motivations are gone (that's a whole other post) and so is his core personality trait. It's like they went here's the Dreadwolf but during the ten years they replaced the smug asshole who was insufferably right with a 20 yo senior chihuahua that doesnt have any teeth.

My favorite villains are those that tell the truth. Because nothing hurts more than the truth. Can you imagine if he told you the truth. If he told you horrible things that you dismissed as lies to only be true. Wouldn't Varric’s death have more weight if he told you Varric was dead only for you - for everyone - to see him in the Lighthouse. If it was a spirit who took his shape to help you or even because it saw something worth reflecting in your memories.

So you dismiss him until it's revealed near the end oh he was telling the truth and you have an oh shit maybe he was right about other things but its too late to try and stop any of the truths he told you which could be from allies/companions betraying to stuff about Ghilan'nain and Elgarnan.

Like the only way to redeem Solas was to listen to him and by going out of your way to address problems he sees and you can find the alternative to tearing down the Veil by a series a little puzzle pieces throughout the game.

Have it be he will only listen to you if you listen to him. That he'll reject your other solution bc why the hell would he trust you if you couldnt extend the same.

Like Solas couldve been a great villian and he should've been great for both the haters and those that liked him. Not only the romance but for those who became his friend. Like i keep coming back to if i hated Solas would i be satisfied with Veilguard.

And the answer is no because that isnt Solas.

Tricking him has no weight bc he's an idiot in Veilguard like not even in the ending bc doesn't notice you switch the dagger around like right in front of him but none of his actions make sense. Ppl have mentioned the regret prison makes no sense for Elgarnan and Ghilan'nain bc they don't have regrets.

Attacking Solas has no weight because he literally needs the shit kicked out of him by a dragon for it to even begin to work. They literally need him to be at deaths door before its realistic that Rook could take him in a fight.

Redeem has no weight bc of the massive retcons to his motivations. They had to retcon the post credits scene bc even if Flemythal went hey i don't want you to do this Dai Solas wouldve went okay but that doesnt solve my other problems with the veil including the corruption of spirits and the fact its in literal shambles so i guess is still coming down.

I'm just disappointed. By the end of Trespasser they had a great villian and they just tossed it to the side and reverted him and people are arguing about a character who's sole defining trait in Veilguard is a problem they solved before Inquisition launched.

Basically we can sum it up with a screenshot.

[aventurineswife]

hey so feel free to ignore this request if you're uncomfortable with it. Can i ask Kinich x suicidal reader? They're already dating and the reader confide in their true feelings about slowly losing the will to live because they feel like they cant handle life.

More explanation: i imagine the reader have a laid back, cheerful and out going personality, the reader joke about offing themself everyday intentionally so nobody will take them seriously if they ever for real tell them about it.

Also i kinda see Kinich as young adult(19/20) and i think the reader is also one who is struggling with adulthood(the reader's family used to spoil them)

Note: this is so self-indulgent, im so sorry if this makes you feel uncomfortable😭 should've just talk to a therapist bot on c.ai or summ.(sorry if this triggers you☹️)

“If I Fall, Will You Catch Me?”

Summary: You and Kinich have been dating for some time, your contrasting personalities complementing one another. While you wear a mask of cheerfulness and make light of your struggles, you harbor a deep internal battle against feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. One night, unable to maintain the facade any longer, you confide in Kinich about your true feelings.

Tags: Kinich x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Emotional Vulnerability, Found Family, Struggles of Adulthood, Fluff and Angst, Supportive Partner, Healing Through Understanding.

Warnings: Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts and Ideation, Themes of Emotional and Mental Health Struggles, Potential Triggers for Readers Sensitive to Discussions of Depression or Hopelessness, Includes moments of emotional distress but concludes on a hopeful note.

A/N: I'm really glad you felt comfortable sharing this, and I want to remind you that you're not alone in how you're feeling. Struggling with these emotions, especially when the world feels heavy, is so difficult, but it’s okay to reach out and talk about it when you're ready. You don’t need to carry everything by yourself. Life can be really overwhelming, and even though it can feel like you're stuck or that things won’t change, there is support available to help you work through it. It's okay to feel lost or unsure—what you're going through doesn’t make you any less valuable. Take care of yourself, and I hope you find the peace and healing you deserve. You are worthy of it! 🫂💖🫶

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden hue over the trees of the canopy. The air smelled of damp earth and the wild, untamed beauty of nature. You sat on the edge of a rock, watching the wind ruffle the leaves, your feet dangling over the edge.

Kinich sat next to you, his eyes scanning the surroundings with that focused, pragmatic gaze of his. He wasn't one for small talk, never had been, and you appreciated that. Silence between you felt like a comfortable thing, a space where words weren't always necessary. Still, you knew him well enough by now to sense when something was off.

You leaned back, stretching your legs, trying to distract yourself from the heaviness that had been creeping into your chest for weeks. Life felt like a mountain you could never quite scale, and no matter how many times you tried to climb, it always felt like it would swallow you whole.

"Hey," you said casually, as if this was just another joke, "maybe I should just go out and... off myself, y'know? Maybe then I'll find some peace."

You tried to make it sound light, as you always did, tossing the words out like they were nothing. It was the same joke you made every day, the one you used to hide the truth. But today, your smile felt forced, and you hated the way the words tasted in your mouth.

Kinich didn’t laugh. He never did when you said that.

You glanced over at him. His eyes were locked on you, unreadable yet piercing. He didn’t say anything at first, just let the silence drag on.

Finally, he exhaled deeply, his expression softening, but not in a way that was comforting. "You don’t get to joke about things like that with me," he said quietly, his voice steady, almost too calm. "Not anymore."

Your heart skipped a beat. He'd never said anything like that before. You turned to face him, your playful demeanor slipping away as you stared at him.

"Kinich, come on. You know it’s just a joke. I’m fine," you said, trying to backpedal, but the words didn’t sound convincing, even to you.

He didn't say anything, but his gaze hardened slightly, and for the first time, you saw a flicker of something deep in his eyes. Maybe it was concern, maybe it was frustration, but it was there. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, the intensity of his presence filling the space between you.

"You think I don’t notice?" Kinich said, his voice barely above a whisper, but it held weight. "You laugh and joke, but I can see it. You’re not fine. I’ve seen the way you look at the world like it’s just... too much. Too heavy. Like you’re carrying something too big for your shoulders."

You stiffened, your throat tightening as the words he said felt like they were cutting straight through the walls you’d carefully built around yourself. You didn’t know how to respond.

"I’m... I’m just tired," you managed to say after a long moment. "Everything’s harder than it should be. It feels like I’m never going to figure it out. And... I don’t think I have the strength left to keep pretending."

Kinich didn’t look away. His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his gaze that made you feel like you were under a microscope. He didn’t need to speak to convey how much he understood.

"You’re not alone in this," he said softly, and for the first time, there was a tenderness to his words that made your heart ache. "You might feel like you’re alone, but you’re not. Not anymore."

The silence stretched between you two again, but this time, it felt less oppressive. Kinich’s presence beside you was comforting, even if you didn’t fully understand why. He wasn’t the kind of person who offered comforting words freely, but when he did, it always felt genuine.

"I don’t know what you’re going through," Kinich continued, his voice still steady. "But I know what it’s like to feel lost. To feel like you’ve got nothing left to give. To carry things you shouldn’t have to carry. I’ve been there."

You turned your gaze away from him, a lump forming in your throat. You hadn’t expected him to share anything about himself, and it made you realize just how much you didn’t know about him, despite everything.

"Kinich…" you started, but he held up a hand.

"I don’t want you to carry this by yourself," he said, his voice hardening slightly. "I’ll help you carry it. You don’t have to handle everything alone. Not anymore."

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry. Not now. Not in front of him.

"I’m scared, Kinich. I don’t know how to keep going when it all feels like it’s too much," you confessed, your voice shaking despite your best efforts to remain steady.

He didn’t hesitate. Kinich placed a hand on your shoulder, firm and unwavering, and his eyes softened just a little. "You don’t have to have all the answers. Just take it one step at a time. And if you fall, I’ll be here. You won’t have to do it alone."

You blinked, feeling the walls around your heart crack just a little, the weight on your chest easing ever so slightly. Kinich wasn’t here to fix you. He wasn’t offering grand solutions. He was simply offering to stand by your side, no matter what.

And for the first time in a long while, you believed him.

"Thank you," you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady. "I don’t deserve it."

He shook his head, the faintest smirk playing on his lips. "Don’t talk like that. You’re not the only one who’s struggling. We all have our battles."

You nodded, trying to hold back the sob that was threatening to escape. For the first time in weeks, you felt like you might be able to breathe again.

Kinich didn’t speak further. He didn’t need to. His presence was enough. And that, in itself, was a promise.

A promise that no matter how dark things got, no matter how heavy life seemed, you wouldn’t have to face it alone.

You weren’t sure what the future would bring, or how you would handle everything, but you knew one thing for sure: Kinich would be by your side. And that, somehow, made everything a little easier to bear.

[oceanicwriting]

drink.

summary: for months theodore nott has been waking up on the shores of the black lake, disoriented and unable to remember how he got there. you thought he would never discover your secret, but one night everything changes irreparably and secrets of darkness meet the light of his eyes.

pairing(s): theodore nott x vampire!fem!reader

a/n: this story has a lot of context! i got really inspired in the first half because i love the whole vampire-obsessed-with-theodore-nott thing and i couldn't help myself hehe. i hope you like it. any phrase in cursive without dash are theodore's thoughts.

+18 smut, mention of blood, violence, public sex, blow job, standing, missionary, masturbation (mostly m!receiving), cursing

ㅤㅤㅤ if you had to describe theodore nott in one word, that would be perfect. his features that resemble those of a greek god are overwhelming, making you lose any sense of reason when he is paralyzed in front of you. anyone would believe that this is the interest of any human about him, but you are a nocturnal monster, and there were other things that interested you more.

ㅤㅤㅤ you breathe heavily, feeling the liquid you suck being transported to every part of your insatiable body. your head is spinning from the sensation that silences the hunger you had controlled during the week, weakening your power over his dormant mind. some lucid part of your brain forces you to separate, disappearing into the shadow of the trees and cleaning the remains of blood that have fallen on your chin.

ㅤㅤㅤ from your position, you can see how the strong frost hits the boy's bare chest, messing up his hair and tensing every exposed muscle. his lips have turned purple from the lack of a coat, the same color that the tips of his fingers and his bare knees adopt. maybe you should have dressed him before taking him there.

ㅤㅤㅤ where am i? what...? you try to keep listening to his thoughts, but it is a practice that you do not master and you can not hear beyond that. what you have no doubt about is the labored breathing you hear from your spot, accompanied by the accelerated gallop of his heartbeat and moans of pain originating in his arm. the simple smell of his blood turns your stomach upside-down.

ㅤㅤㅤ when he has gotten up, he steps on the mud, careful not to slip. his blue gaze scans everything around him, but nothing catches his attention, setting off for the comfort of the castle.

ㅤㅤㅤ as he disappear among the dark shadows of the night, you let your body fall against the ground, savoring the metallic taste that his blood always leaves in your mouth. that begins to feed the hunger that accumulates at the bottom of your stomach, and all that remains is to wait for your human characteristics to return back to normal.

ㅤㅤㅤ —theodore is fucking a hogsmade vampire. —draco malfoy’s voice, one of your most frequent food friends, rises over the professor’s voice—. and he doesn’t want to tell any details.

ㅤㅤㅤ your heart starts to pound in panic, going over the past few weeks and all the ones before, assuring to your anxiety that you always did everything perfectly. if he knows something, it's because someone else told him, but who would? no one has seen you or even listened.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why should i tell you? —theodore replies. his voice comes out much louder, as if you have a filter to hear him more clearly than anyone else—. do you guys need stories to jerk off to when you’re alone? because of course i’m fucking a vampire.

ㅤㅤㅤ you frown, knowing he was lying. any bad liar would start to show a racing pulse, and you could hear his without a problem.

ㅤㅤㅤ —look —he says, forcing you to turn over your shoulder to see how he shows the mark of your fangs on his forearm—. what else could it be?

ㅤㅤㅤ you try to read his thoughts. however, you can’t. his body language shows that he is as confused as he is fascinated by the unmistakable mark of a vampire on his pale skin. his friends are shocked by the revelation and make dirty jokes about theodore’s fake sexual experiences. so stupid.

ㅤㅤㅤ —and what is his name?

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore, turning his head to look at his friends, locks eyes with you. so cute and naive.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you will never know.

ㅤㅤㅤ and neither do you, you think.

ㅤㅤㅤ your vampire lineage dates back thousands of years, being one of the most famous and well-known in the entire magical world. although no one really knows your true nature, because your father was banned from all stories, diaries, or writings after falling hopelessly in love with a human witch. before turning her into one like him, wanting to leave the decision of being a full vampire to his children, they had four beautiful half-vampire creatures.

ㅤㅤㅤ beings of your kind have always been classified as an inferior race to full vampires, but your father had taken it upon himself to teach you how to handle your abilities since you were little. of course, you weren't as good as him, who at your age could read the thoughts of any living being, change shape, manipulate minds, and more.

ㅤㅤㅤ —hey, where are you going?

ㅤㅤㅤ you turn, watching your roommate light the candle on her nightstand. you clap loudly, drawing his attention and, in the blink of an eye, your eyes turn bright red like a ruby.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you think you saw me, but you didn’t. now you’re going to go get a glass of water from the bathroom, go back to bed, and sleep until the next morning —you say, your demanding voice clashing with every part of the room.

ㅤㅤㅤ whenever your skill accomplished its goal, you felt a tingle at the tip of your fingers, and this time was no exception.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you reach theodore’s room, and even meters before you arrive, you can feel the calm beat of his heart. it’s so slow that you can’t help the smile that appears on your lips as you imagine him sleeping so peacefully. you close your eyes and focus your energy on awakening his mind, but not his dream.

ㅤㅤㅤ —come to me.

ㅤㅤㅤ in less than a second the door emits a soft click that reveals the tall figure of the boy. you don't have time to stop and contemplate him, controlling his walk to the exit and looking over your shoulder every now and then.

ㅤㅤㅤ arriving at the foot of the black lake, protected by the full moon night, you stop to look at theodore nott. his pale skin shining against the reflection of the stars in the water, messy hair that moves with the wind, a slightly swollen face and eyelashes resting on the highest points of his defined cheekbones. he looked so appetizing that the idea of ​​drinking all his blood was tempting.

ㅤㅤㅤ you force him to lie down on a thin layer of grass, and you settle with your legs on either side of his waist. you take two deep breaths, feeling your fangs lengthen to bury themselves in the same wound as always. the delight of his blood filling your mouth makes you close your eyes to fully enjoy his refined taste. you were so enraptured by the sensations of his blood in your mouth that you can't understand how theodore wakes up and pushes you against the ground.

ㅤㅤㅤ —don't move. —you look at him, feeling his body imprison yours and gently push a wooden stake into your chest—. you...? what the fuck?

ㅤㅤㅤ although his frown shows how angry he is, his pulse only indicates that he is as scared as you are dismayed.

ㅤㅤㅤ —theo... —you try to deny what he has seen, but the drop of blood running down your cheek was as real as the color of your reddened gaze.

ㅤㅤㅤ —since when do you do this? —he asks. you try to answer, but the scent of his blood only awakens an animal that theodore would never be able to control—. answer me.

ㅤㅤㅤ you could have gotten into his mind to force him to sleep in less than a second, but there was a mystical force that prevented you from getting back into his head.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.

ㅤㅤㅤ you can hear theodore’s heart skip a couple of beats, taking advantage of that moment of doubt to hit the stake and push him. your hands intertwine to form a fist that hits the back of the boy’s neck, who falls unconscious at your feet. now, what would you do?

ㅤㅤㅤ since that night, you haven't been able to stop thinking about theodore. he had found a way to break your power with an enchanted stone hidden in the pocket of his pajama shorts. your father would have told you that you should look for another food to prevent something like that from happening again. however, forgetting the brown-haired boy's blood was an impossible task.

ㅤㅤㅤ during the two weeks that you were away, drinking animal blood at night, theodore hadn't said anything. you had seen each other in classes, meals, the common room, and the library, but he didn't seem to register you beyond the normal. will he not question you again?

ㅤㅤㅤ it's likely that if you had listened to your father's inner voice instead of your starving heart you wouldn't be battling with the shadow of the boy who had just poisoned you with a garlic potion. yes, you went to look for him once again. and yes, theodore nott had just made you fall unconscious in front of him.

ㅤㅤㅤ when you wake up, the first thing you feel is a cold breeze hitting your face. your limbs still feel paralyzed by the effect of the potion, disappearing minutes later.

ㅤㅤㅤ —it took you a while to come back. —it's his voice, strong and clear. as you sit up, you can see him with the stake pointing straight at your heart and another swig of potion in his free hand—. i even thought you had gotten bored. i don't want you to move, okay? i have no intentions of killing you, if that worries you.

ㅤㅤㅤ you knew he wouldn't do it because of his weak grip on the stake. didn't he know you could stand up, take the wood from his hands, and kill him to avoid trouble? you had a thousand ideas of how to do that, but you don't move.

ㅤㅤㅤ —at least, not if you don't give me reasons.

ㅤㅤㅤ does that sound intimidating enough? you look at him, noticing that he hadn’t said anything else since his last sentence. were you perhaps listening to his thoughts?

ㅤㅤㅤ —doesn’t this look familiar to you? —he asks, circling you as if you were the one with the lowest chance of survival—. sure, you’re a lot more subtle about getting me here, but i still haven’t mastered the psychic techniques of magic.

ㅤㅤㅤ you were hungry. you were so eager to taste some blood that hearing theodore’s veins pump makes your head hurt. if there was a quick way to end all this to feed yourself, you would do it.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you want to know what happened, right? —he shows a small ring on his finger—. i have to assume, because you didn’t take it from me last time, that you don’t know a memory stone when you see one. even though you took away the one that prevented you from entering my mind, you didn't realize that i had this one right here.

ㅤㅤㅤ it was such a small stone that it seemed incredible to you how images could be reproduced there. theodore didn't remember it, but that small transparent stone had everything that had happened that night printed on it, and those marks on his arm were enough proof to understand the whole situation.

ㅤㅤㅤ you wish you had something to say, but you had your mouth completely closed for fear of saying the wrong thing. you search for something that can calm your anguish, and when you hear his heart pumping calmly, something lights up inside you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why my blood?

ㅤㅤㅤ you weren't going to lie. you could do it and find a way to escape, but the bravery of facing you with such serenity dangerously attracts you to him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —your blood is... delicious. you have disgusting habits, smoking and drinking every weekend don't do your body any good. but that liquid is always as intact as can be.

ㅤㅤㅤ she's cute.

ㅤㅤㅤ —have you done this to anyone else?

ㅤㅤㅤ you can notice that his grip on the stake is weakening a little and you take the opportunity to get up, making the boy alert. your body moves on its own, now understanding what had just awakened inside you. ㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤ —why do you ask? jealous? —you ask, laughing softly. his laugh is precious too—. after all, it seems that nott is the only one in hogwarts who is fucking a hogsmade vampire.

ㅤㅤㅤ all the sounds that reach your ears fade into the background when you hear his heartbeat again. hunger has begun to ache throughout your body, and you could assure that you would become a monster if you did not feed yourself right then and there.

ㅤㅤㅤ —did you hear that...

ㅤㅤㅤ —i have other powers, besides manipulating people. —you take his hand, effortlessly lowering the stake. you could hear the string of thoughts exploding in his head so clearly that it was impossible not to smile—. there is no one in this place with the blood i want. maybe that's why i drink yours or...

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore had heard all kinds of stories about vampires. he knew they were ruthless, callous, and murderous beings of darkness. he knew they would use any means to achieve their goal, but when he sees you, he can't make that connection. how can such a beauty be so bad?

ㅤㅤㅤ —have you ever thought that i might like you? —you say, looking at him tenderly and caressing his arm—. what should i do to get you to let me drink you, theodore?

ㅤㅤㅤ nothing. fuck me. no, that would be too much to ask. his thoughts are heard loud and clear, making your skin crawl from the mixture they have with his lust-tinged eyes. at that moment, you can hear his heart beat faster, pumping blood to hidden parts of his body and feeding your desire to drink.

ㅤㅤㅤ —do you want to drink my blood?

ㅤㅤㅤ the question has you nodding frantically, lighting a fire that’s stoked by those sea-blue eyes. that’s so hot.

ㅤㅤㅤ —maybe we can make a deal —you say, squeezing his arm and forcing him to crash into a tree—. you let me feed whenever i wants and you... you can brag about how you’re sleeping with a vampire. and this time, you wouldn’t be lying like a brazen man.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore grabs your neck, twisting to slam your back against the tree with a force that makes you gasp. you hadn’t seen that coming.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you think it’s that easy?

ㅤㅤㅤ you laugh, running your hands down his chest and saying—: i can smell your desire. you don’t have to play hard to get with me.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore breathes heavily, and you can hear the blood running through his jugular, throbbing. can she really? you know his brain is filled with questions, fear, and a desire that builds up in his member. you had to play along.

ㅤㅤㅤ —come on. aren't you a little curious about what a vampire can do in sex?

ㅤㅤㅤ yeah, of course i'm. theodore can't say anything, because his thoughts are taking over his answers.

ㅤㅤㅤ —are you afraid to find out? —your hands travel to his pants, unbuttoning them and letting them fall—. tell me, theodore, do you want to try what a vampire really does?

ㅤㅤㅤ —isn't that obvious? —he answers scathingly, smiling so close to your face that your hands must cup his cheeks—. why do you keep playing if you know the answer?

ㅤㅤㅤ his lips stick to yours as if they had waited their whole lives to touch you. both of you felt so desperate, needy, and eager that it was impossible not to battle back and forth. so sweet that it's impressive. a smile slides down your face, tasting the exquisiteness of his mouth with such impatience that theodore must calm his own internal fire.

ㅤㅤㅤ you pull away, noticing theodore is pushing himself to reach you, but you cover his mouth. your hands descend with you from his shoulders to his waist, looking into his eyes from your new kneeling position. one of his large hands caresses your face roughly, pressing one of his fingers to your lips. shit.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you're so fucking hot.

ㅤㅤㅤ your hands pull down his underwear, stealing a heavy sigh from you as you realize how big and thick he is. one of your hands grabs his cock to hold it in front of your mouth, being embraced by your hot tongue that elicits a hoarse growl from the boy. then you begin to put him in your mouth slowly, unable to take it all and having to use your hand to cover what's missing.

ㅤㅤㅤ at first, you have a hard time adjusting to the feeling of his thick member scraping against the walls of your mouth, but when you begin to take it in slow and easy, everything becomes simpler.

ㅤㅤㅤ fuck, so soft. theodore rests his hand on the tree, enjoying the way your mouth sucks and kisses his cock. he was fascinated with the way your tongue moved over his member when it was buried deep in you mouth. he liked the way your hand moved when your lips weren’t hugging it. what he adored the most, always stealing a soft moan from him, was when you watched him while licking his glans with a devilish eroticism

ㅤㅤㅤ —so good —you say, choking soon after when you take his cock again.

ㅤㅤㅤ this time, your mouth moves quickly, listening to theodore sigh, moan, and grunt. your tongue works magic to embrace his length as best it can, bringing a perfect movement that not only causes shameless sounds in him but in you.

ㅤㅤㅤ —ah... so perfect. s-so cute. —theodore's hand caresses your face that moves against him—. i won't feel bad at all for doing this to you.

ㅤㅤㅤ then his hand tangles in your hair, holding your head to begin thrusting his hips. the simple collision of the tip of his hardened cock with your throat makes your eyes fill with tears, gasping and losing balance.

ㅤㅤㅤ you had to admit that the way he sinks, deeper and faster, was exciting. your hands must tighten on his legs to support the back and forth that theodore has established. he moves with incredible dominance, trembling with pleasure and rumbling from the heat of your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ —just like that. a-a little more. you're doing so well.

ㅤㅤㅤ it's pathetic to think that hearing him speak turns you on, but it does and you strive to help his pleasure by using your hand at the base of his cock. so close. theodore sighs, then you feel it, a tremor that mixes with your cry muffled by the semen that hits your walls.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore tries to get out of your mouth, but your hands hold him still, unloading all his semen inside your mouth. the smile that draws on his face is so magnificent that it lightens a little the suffocation that the viscous substance causes.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you taste good —you whisper, getting up from the floor.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i bet you're not just talking about my semen.

ㅤㅤㅤ a mischievous smile escapes your lips and you feel the boy's hands tighten on your hip. he looked so cute after the orgasm as if a glow had passed over his face to highlight every bit of his beauty.

ㅤㅤㅤ —when are you going to fuck me? —you ask, gently removing his clothes from his torso—. i want you to fuck me. i want you to sink into me, theodore. i can’t wait any longer.

ㅤㅤㅤ it’s a request he doesn’t plan to refuse, rushing his hands to grab the articles of clothing you wear in between kisses filled with laughter. not before long you’re half-dressed, pressed against the tree and burning to be touched. it’s so perfect that it hurts.

ㅤㅤㅤ —have you ever fucked a vampire? —you ask, over the soft movement of his lips against yours.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you’ll be my first —he answers with a smile that widens when you jump to wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his member getting harder between you—. proud of that?

ㅤㅤㅤ you nod, moving your hips against him.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you have no idea.

ㅤㅤㅤ you could get addicted to the way he kisses you. he had this thing about biting your lips just enough to pull you against him. yes, you wanted to kiss him every day, just as much as you wanted to feed off of him.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore adjusts himself to support your weight on his arms and lowers his free hand to the growing wetness of your panties. so perfect, wet and ready for anything.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i need to be inside you —he whispers, his voice heavy with desire. he drops one of your legs onto the floor—. now.

ㅤㅤㅤ a stifled gasp escapes your lips when you hear the sound of your underwear tearing into a simple rag that falls to the floor. your hands tangle in his hair, as he adjusts himself to push the tip of his cock against your tight entrance without warning. it’s so slow and perfect that it feels like pleasurable torture.

ㅤㅤㅤ —ah, theo —you sigh, pulling at the end of his hair at the pain that crosses the line into pleasure soon after.

ㅤㅤㅤ —just a little, angel. r-relax a little more.

ㅤㅤㅤ it feels so good. the last portion of his member pushes inside you with a searing, arousing heat that travels throughout your throbbing body. he was so big that you can feel your muscles contract. then, theodore begins to move with soft shallow thrusts that tickle throughout your body.

ㅤㅤㅤ when his movements have sped up, making you whimper because of the wood scraping your back and the crash of his pelvis against you, a deadly sensation runs through you. deeper, harder, needy, and hungry. all that and the mixture of your juices has created a constant sound that clouds your senses.

ㅤㅤㅤ there are so many stimuli that it is impossible not to enjoy it. constant blows from the boy, wind crashing against your nakedness, heart beating desperately and sexual sound of his member pushing to the possible limit. how could all this be more perfect? ​​

ㅤㅤㅤ —theo, m-more.

ㅤㅤㅤ he looks at you, capturing your lips, while his free hand goes down to your clitoris. at the slightest contact of his cold fingers, massaging and pressing, you feel a wave that tickles to the depths of your being. the moans that merge with the contact of his lips is so pleasurable for theodore that he can feel his cock tremble. it can't be now, it can't be so fast.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore grabs your leg, still moving, this time more gently. you smile, playing with his hair as he lifts and lays you down on the wet grass.

ㅤㅤㅤ —you look gorgeous.

ㅤㅤㅤ and mouthwatering. the thought manages to get stuck at the back of your mind, igniting something much stronger than your pleasure. it was hunger. a desire to bury your teeth in the throbbing vein of his neck and drain every last drop of his blood takes over you. you pull his arm, pressing your lips together until a small wound brings blood to your mouth.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i can't take it anymore. theodore, please —you plead, him tasting his own red liquid as he sucks the pain from his lip. you feel the little drop change everything inside you, and you can see theodore's gaze widen—. p-please.

ㅤㅤㅤ for fuck's sake, she'll be the end of me. his lips trail down your chest, beginning to move his hips again and chuckling softly at the way your chest bounces.

ㅤㅤㅤ —why the rush? are you that hungry, little vampire?

ㅤㅤㅤ the repeated movement of his hips colliding with yours quickens your breathing, and you gasp at theodore's wet attack on your chest.

ㅤㅤㅤ —just keep waiting for your prize.

ㅤㅤㅤ you look at him, knowing he means to drink his blood, but your fangs had already grown seconds ago.

ㅤㅤㅤ —who said i was going to keep waiting?

ㅤㅤㅤ damn. theodore moans at the pain of your teeth, piercing his flesh, feeling the blood gush into your mouth from the way you suck effortlessly. the mere taste makes your eyes turn bright red, and you can hear the boy's breath hitch. for a moment, he's completely still, panting, but soon he moves carefully again.

ㅤㅤㅤ the sensations mix inside you in a hellish way. his deep thrusts have intensified their power inside you from the pleasure of his blood running down your throat and the boy's soft moans. that mix was enough to clench your muscles tightly.

ㅤㅤㅤ —so pretty.

ㅤㅤㅤ your legs hug his hips, helping you find his rhythm in the air. theodore moans at the feeling of your mouth drinking, while your interior embraces his cock tighter and tighter. and it happens. you feel it like a wave charged with joy, but when he touches that same spot again, it is impossible to control the cry that arches your back.

ㅤㅤㅤ —r-right there. that's it... —he doesn't waste time pushing himself once more to that same spot as if he knew exactly what to do to touch it.

ㅤㅤㅤ what a sight. you try to take his arm again in the middle of your muffled moans, but theodore doesn't allow it. his mouth curves into a smile that you can't enjoy too much because his lips find yours in a messy kiss, panting and full of a lust that neither of you had felt. when he pulls away, he tastes his own blood as if he can understand what it does to your wet core.

ㅤㅤㅤ —shit...

ㅤㅤㅤ and it's enough because your entire body convulses under his power, while theodore moves about two more times to leave a line of semen on your abdomen. you both look at each other, catching your breath before you can feel his blood hit your nose.

ㅤㅤㅤ —i need to feed —you say, stopping your instincts from taking over—. please.

ㅤㅤㅤ theodore drops down beside you and extends his arm, giving you free rein to drink as much as you want. the thing is that you now found something even more addictive than his blood and you don't know what will happen with it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I didn't want to say that here since you love Leona now but I actually hate that lion guy😭😭 I feel like he would bully me for just existing!

Like this part in book 3 when he made us fight his dorm members so we could stay in the dorm makes me look at him like this 😒 like sir I'm magicless and homeless and physically weak and you want me to fight your muscled dorm members + they have magic!😭😭 Why?! At this rate I would have slept in one of the class rooms instead 😞I mean it was Grim do the fighting but still! But that's not the only reason I have other reasons why I hate him 😭 (I'm scared of him lol)

I have beef with that lion guy😞

I don't see myself loving him any soon but who knows maybe one day I would feel in love with him like you 🫢

Lemme tell you this right here and right now: I have learned from observation that there are no bigger L*ona haters out there than L*ona stans themselves 💀 We They will say, "Leona Kingscholar is literally the fucking worst character not just in Twisted Wonderland, but in all media that has ever and will ever be conceived. Hate that guy, what a shitty scumbag," one moment and then turn right around and kiss our their lion merch with all the tender love and care a human could possibly lavish an object with.

ANYWAY, that's beside the point. I don't like this character of which you speak of.

Early main story Leona is definitely the type to bully the crud out of others 💀 To be fair to him though, honestly any dorm (other than Heartslabyul) would have been reluctant to house a pair that they have little to no personal connection with. The students at NRC are known for their pride and reluctance to help each other out, right? Night Raven College also has a culture of "the strong obey the weak", so to have Yuu and Grim "earn their keep" by demonstrating their strength makes sense. The other dorms would have probably demanded similar things of them, regardless of how downtrodden and dreary their circumstances are. It's not like Azul or the mob students showed Yuu and Grim any mercy before. Most of the student population is not nice or welcoming, especially if there's nothing in it for them to gain. In this case, Leona would be gaining two temporary students that aren't deadweights to him. Of course, that doesn't justify what he did/said in book 3 or any of the other things he did/said. It doesn't mean you have to like the guy for what he did. It's just that I don't know if that one scene is a specific-to-Leona asshole move. I do want to point to the Episode of Octavinelle manga too; in that, Leona doesn't make Yuuta fight mobs to sleep over, he accepts Yuuta's cooking abilities as a substitute. This loops right back around to what I was saying about "earning your keep" and how most NRC students won't want to help you out unless you have something to offer them in return. For Yuuta, that was his culinary skills. For in-game Yuu and Grim, it had to be combat prowess. Is it cruel in comparison to letting them sleep over in return for nothing? Yes, absolutely. But is it in character for them to be selfish about it? Also yes, absolutely. I think it's fine to have as a characterization moment--though whether you enjoy this or not is up to the individual fan.

I get that he's not going to appeal to everyone. Leona definitely comes off as intimidating and he has plenty of other traits to loathe. Every character will have people that dislike them or even outright hate them. That's completely normal and should be expected, since everyone has different experiences, tastes, and perspectives to bring to the table--each equally as valid as the last. Feelings can change over time, feelings can stay the same. Whatever happens, it's fine! No one decent is going to hold a (water) gun to your head and force you to like L*ona. Enjoy fandom in your own way!

That being said 💦💦 I will advise that you avoid sending messages of, "I actually HATE this character that you happen to like" into people's inboxes. It's okay to have a different opinion than the fan you're expressing the opinion to, but you should keep in mind that it's not always appropriate to voice it or to press the matter. I might be generally indifferent about discussing why we like or dislike certain characters, but others might not be so happy to get a message that could be considered bashing on their favorite(s). Again, just be mindful of others and their boundaries!

[aniesvision]

𐂂 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕- 𝑪.𝑺

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒊'𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 2 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒄 𝒊 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆!!

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆

1079 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑠

I look at him from the other side of the room. With his friends and his brothers he seems so happy, free. Talks about whatever comes to mind, enjoying himself and making everyone feel included. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with him, seeing how great he treats others.

But it's not the same when he's with me.

Whenever is just the two of us, I feel invisible. Even though he made an effort to keep me close enough to make me his girlfriend, now that I am it looks like he doesn't want me anymore. He's always too busy, he finds stuff to do when I'm around so he won't have to talk to me. He never gives me gifts, or tells me how much he loves me, or makes me feel wanted.

When I realized just how bad I was, I tried to distance myself. I didn't call him so much, didn't text him, I made excuses not to go see him, and he never seemed to care.

It's been three weeks since we last saw each other. I tried so hard to tell myself that he's just reserved, he's not so outgoing because I'm not one of the boys, he's not a gift type of boyfriend and he just... He's just bad at showing his emotions.

When he asked me to come over for the second time after so many days I wondered if things could be different. If he missed me and my presence, if he was going to finally give me the attention I crave so badly. So I got ready, even though I had no strength to make myself look pretty or even healthy, I thought he wouldn't care if my eyes looked swollen and red and if my body looked skinnier since I hadn't been eating too much.

When I got there and knocked on his door I felt a wave of anxiety hit me. He opened the door looking as unbothered as ever, not even saying anything. He steps back, giving me space to walk in, immediately walking to the living room couch.

-Hi. -I whisper, nervously, looking at him.

-Hey. -He turns on the tv, like I wasn't even there. -So, avoiding me now, aren't you?

My heart breaks with his tone, so cold and so distant, almost accusatory. I sigh, taking a seat on the other side of the couch. Normally I wouldn't sit so far away from him, but right now I just couldn't bring myself to be any closer.

-I was just trying to spend more time with my thoughts. -I explain, hoping he'd get it.

He scoffs, sarcastically, but not even look at me. I feel one more pang in my heart.

-Yeah, right.

All I wanted was for him to understand me, to be here for me, to want to listen to me. I wanted him to act like the label he placed on himself, like my boyfriend, not like a stranger.

I wonder if it's best for me to feel the emptiness, to be alone, to feel like I felt for the past three weeks without him, than to feel like I feel when I'm next to him. To feel like I'm so unimportant. It makes me look like I'm begging for something I'll never have.

-How have you been? -I ask, in an attempt to change the subject, maybe have a decent conversation with him.

-If you wanted to know you wouldn't shut me off. -He shrugs.

Ouch.

I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the amount of sadness in my body, how upset and disappointed I was with myself for knowing I'd feel worse coming here and coming here anyway.

-Yeah, you're right, sorry. -I whisper, looking down at my legs.

For a second, I think he realized how harsh he was being, moving closer to me.

-Why are you distancing yourself? -He asks, his voice calmer, but still not giving away any emotions.

-I thought it would be best.

He turned my head so I could look at him, his eyes studying mine. It was so clear to know exactly what I was thinking about, but Chris was impossible to read.

-For me or you? -One more accusatory tone, one of his eyebrows arching.

-For us.

The sad smile was inevitable, I couldn't smile if it wasn't a sad one, but it was my way of trying to keep the conversation as calm as possible, I couldn't handle arguments.

He immediately drops his hand, nodding and clenching his jaw.

-Like that, huh? Just gonna distance yourself until there's nothing left? Is that what you want?

If there's any way of feeling your heart physically shuttering then I felt it right there. It doesn't only hurt psychologically, it hurts physically, everything hurts. Am I the wrong one? Am I so bad for trying to feel better? Is it hurting him too? If so, why doesn't he try to keep us together? He could've called, texted me, knocked on my door, asked me out on a date. But we haven't been on a date for ages...

-I don't know. -I swallow, looking away from him. -What do you want?

My vision was blurred by the tears, my stomach was swirling in the worst way possible, my body felt heavy and tired, and my head was spinning. Even being scared of breaking up, I feel like being alone is starting to look better than being with him. A relationship shouldn't feel so exhausting. It should be good, happy, calm. He should make me feel loved and cared about, talk to me, want me close. Instead, I feel like I'm useless.

-I don't know. -He responds, indifferent.

-I'm going home. -I say, even though I didn't stay for five solid minutes.

Chris's head snapped up at my announcement, a flicker of panic crossing his face before he quickly masked it with the same unbothered expression he always has.

-Yeah? Go ahead then. -He replied with a casual shrug.

I nod, standing up and walking to the front door, my hands shaking with my emotions. I stop with my hand on the handle, the door half open, and look back at him.

-I just wish one day you make me feel like you want me as much as I want you. -I say, not staying long enough to hear a response, closing the door behind me and making my way to my car.

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[mixolya]

ᓚᘏᗢ — beneath the stars, we became one: chapter 023 !

"i'm sorry."

you looked at him, your mind swirling. rin wasn't the kind of person to apologize unless it was necessary, but hearing those words from him made everything feel .. off. there was something raw, something unspoken in his gaze; it was a side of him you hadn't seen before.

he sat there, his hand twisting nervously with the edge of his sleeve, his eyes focused on the ground, avoiding your gaze. should i apologize or let him speak?

he finally spoke, his voice softer than it had been the entire time you'd known him. "i'm sorry for everything. for the things i said, for how i pushed you away. i never should've acted like that. reo told me a bit about your past ... i didn't know, and i regret my words more than i can say."

his eyes met yours for a brief moment, and you could see the sincerity there. his expression was heavy with the weight of his apology. before you could answer, he continued, and his voice lowered even further, as if he were admitting something that he'd never planned on sharing.

"you weren't even part of my plans," he said, the words so so quiet, you thought you misheard him.

"what do you mean?" you asked, your brows furrowing as you tried to make sense of his confession.

"i wanted to focus on school and soccer," he explained. "i never expected to care for someone as much as i care for you. you change everything. and i don't even know what to do with myself anymore."

your breath caught in your throat, your heart melted. the rawness in his voice made it race. rin, always so composed, was here, breaking down his walls. the vulnerability in his words took you by surprised. again, you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, he added, "i wasn't sure what love really felt like until i met you."

you didn't know what to say, didn't know how to process the emotions swirling within you. your heart was pounding in your chest, caught between everything he'd just said and everything you'd felt in your heart.

but the words didn't matter anymore. you couldn't hold back. you couldn't wait for him to keep explaining. you needed to feel him, to show him that you understood, that you felt the same way.

fuck it, you thought.

before he could continue, you leaned forward and kissed him. you felt his breath catch in his throat as you kissed him harder, your hands instinctively reaching for him. all the walls you'd built, the fears, the hesitations - they crumbled in that moment.

when you pulled away, you could feel the heat of his presence surrounding you. without thinking, you moved to straddle his lap, your eyes locking with his, the space between you closing in a way that felt so right. his teal eyes were mesmerizing, almost otherworldly, and the way they softened as they met yours made your heart ache.

rin itoshi is so so pretty.

for a moment, you simply stared at each other, your breath mingling in the quiet space. it felt as though time stood still, everything else in the world fading away. but then, the weight of everything that had been building up inside you spilled out.

"i'm so sorry, rin," you whispered, your voice trembling. "i- i distanced myself because i was scared. scared of getting hurt, scared of how much i yearn for you. i've been holding myself back for so long, afraid that i'd lose myself again."

your words faltered as your throat tightened, tears welling up in your eyes. "i didn't mean to hurt you. i'm sorry .. i didn't know how to deal with it. i don't know how to deal with this."

rin's expression softened, and before you could say anything more, he gently brushed away the tear that had fallen down your cheek. his touch was tender, his fingers lightly tracing the path where your tear had been.

"you don't need to apologize," he murmured, his voice low, soothing.

and without another word, he pulled you into a kiss again, but this time it was different- slower, more deliberate. his lips were gentle at first, almost as if he was savoring the moment. but then, as the kiss deepened, it became more urgent, more desperate, as if both of you were finally allowing yourselves to feel everything you'd been holding back.

the world outside of this moment ceased to exist. it was just the two of you, and everything else was forgotten in the heat of the kiss. your hands found their way to his neck, pulling him closer, while his hands found their way to your waist, pulling you even closer, as if he couldn't bear any distance between you.

the kiss deepened, a perfect blend of tenderness and longing. his hands were cold, which sent a shiver down your spine, and for a moment, everything else in the world faded away - no past, no fear, no regrets; only him and you, in this moment.

your heart raced in sync with his, each breath between the kisses a quiet affirmation of how much you needed this, how much you needed him. the tension that had built between you finally began to dissipate, replaced by relief, like a weight had been lifted from your chest.

when you finally pulled away, both of you breathless, rin's eyes locked onto yours, intense and full of meaning. you could see the emotions flickering across his face, the same raw vulnerability you'd felt in him from the start.

"i want you to be mine," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion, "selfishly, thoughtlessly, mine."

"then, can i be yours?"

chapter 022 > here > epilogue

back to beneath the stars, we became one !

a/n: is this the end guys ...

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© mixolya 2025. do not copy, remake or edit any of my works.

[rosiebun28]

COSMIC HRT Month 1 (The Dream and First Encounter)

Hi, I'm Rosie and this is part of a story I've been wanting to share for a long time. Cosmic HRT started as a comic but I have ADHD really bad and I have struggled with consistently working on art. But as I continue in the community I want to try other mediums like writing to get my story out there. Hopefully one day I can work on turning it into a comic but I just want to at least get something out for my own sanity. This story was inspired by Dragon HRT by @ayviedoesthings and by Eldritch HRT by @dawning-mars The format was Inspired by Arynia's Hellhound HRT story over at @ariathelamia so Definitely go check all of them out if you haven't already! Also Special thank you to @dawning-mars for the Cameo!

Hello, my name is Rose but I like to go by Rosie. My Therapist suggested I should try Chronicling my journey as a way of reflecting on the crazy events that have been happening to me. I've always had problems interacting with other people so I figured I should share these journals online as a way of initiating interaction. (Sorry if that’s weird, I’m still working on my communication skills) I’m really bad at self expression so forgive me if I say something weird or mis-remember something.

Well the whole thing started a while back, I'm a 30 year old transgender woman and things had been getting worse where I lived for people like me. I heard about a new type of HRT that can actually turn people into animals! After doing A LOT of research into it and a lot of self reflection, I Felt this was something I needed but nothing I looked at felt right, felt like me. There were short periods of fancy where I got excited at the thought of being a bunny or a mouse or even a hybrid species, but the excitement always faded after a time. Nothing felt like the real me, I didn’t even know what the "Real Me" was supposed to feel like, just the feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I was stuck at an impasse, walking past and seeing others transitioning and becoming closer to their true selves every day. I liked to try and keep up to date on things so I started following some Therians online but while I was happy for them, I still felt just the tiniest bit of envy and wished I could figure out who I am.

However, that changed one day when I had a weird dream. It's a bit difficult to describe but there was a tall Being in a bright yellow robe with an expressionless mask and horns, we stood on an expansive black plane, the sky behind a stark white with what appeared to be black stars in the background. I couldn’t feel my arms or legs, I couldn’t move and could barely feel myself, I watched as the figure slowly moved towards me in a way I can only describe as smooth, not quite gliding, not quite shambling. Once it reached me it  whispered something I couldn't quite make out and I suddenly woke up with a chill. The next day I had an unexplainable urge to go for a walk through a part of town I'd never been through but it was like something was pulling me there, like I was being drawn in. 

I made my way down to what was locally being called the "Therian District" though some would call it "The Zoo" though I never liked that name personally. As I was walking past a doctor's office, I suddenly bumped into someone and fell to the ground. I felt a cold chill suddenly rush into me and down my throat but it was gone so fast I wasn't even sure if it even actually happened. As I looked up there was a tall, vague figure covered in shadow. When suddenly my vision doubled, one side blue and the other yellow, before recombining. The shadowy figure was gone, in its place before me stood the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. She was extremely tall and had skin that was a lustrous purple, she wore a simple black dress with a black bow and a large black hat. Her face stared at me for a few seconds with five deep, caring eyes that seemed to be full of anxiety, not sure how I could tell that to be honest. She quickly apologized for bumping into me and ran off. I was stuck there for a few seconds going over the image in my mind before someone came over and helped me up. They asked me if I’d been hurt by "That Monster" and I gave them a sharp glare that made them back off and walk away muttering "freak" under their breath. I don’t know why but I'd felt an anger wash over me from hearing them insult this person I’d never even met. It was so out of character for me that I didn’t know how to respond so I called them an asshole and walked away.

That night I had another dream about the Being in Yellow but this time they spoke only four words to me: "Open Your Eye Youngling" After which I heard a cracking sound followed by my vision splitting again into blue and yellow, but this time they didn't recombine, instead they split and my perspective shifted to viewing 3 different angles at once. One blue, one yellow, and one gray in between them looking at glowing blobs of energy, a blue one on the right and a yellow on on the left. They were connected to me by thin white fluctuating beams of light. They seemed to be where the other perspectives are coming from. 

I started to hear and feel one of myselves saying some but it was muffled and all I could make out was a vague feeling. Then the blue and yellow selves seemed to start having a conversation that I could not seem to process. It was like I was hearing words and vague wisps of intent but had no idea what was being said. After a while I woke up again, but something was different. I felt like I could see more, but I wasn't sure what it was I could see that I couldn't before. It felt like a heavy fog had lifted from my mind. Whatever it was, started to make me feel a lot more overstimulated than before. The trade-off being I suddenly didn't feel as lonely anymore for some reason.

I went to take my morning meds and noticed that something was different, my normal estrogen pills seemed to have changed from the little white circles I was used to. They were now a bit bigger and football shaped like my Progesterone but I couldn’t find any seams on them and they appeared to be filled with some kind of milky white pearlescent liquid. I tried to break one open but I couldn’t seem to penetrate the outer shell so I examined the bottle. There were a few things different about the label now too, The patient name was a strange Sigil I’d never seen before. The medication name now said "Dreamadonteride" and the Prescriber information was some kind of symbol I’d never seen before that looked like a dot surrounded by a circle with three squiggly lines radiating out from the center. I looked at the pill again and felt a mix of conflicted feelings and voices inside, but one feeling rang out louder than the others. A voice telling me that this mysterious new pill would help me finally find my true self, would help me finally be happy. So I ignored the other voices in my head telling me to stop as I popped the pill into my mouth and took a drink of water. The voices finally calmed and went quiet. I still don’t know if this was the right choice, but I made it and I was going to stick with it.