#if i believed in this sort of thing i’d say he’d made some kind of faustian pact with satan bc this is getting ridiculous

[ravenkings]

[the-somwthing]

oh god I reached tag limit. Dear god. Should I make my own post or are my takes in the tags god awful and I should’ve kept them to myself 😭

(also I mistakenly said clethubs instead of cledubs cuz it flows better, ignore me Etho has nothing to do with any of this)

ok now that im watching scotts pov i can finally make the poll i want

[fastandcarlos]

Cuddles Are Home : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: as max arrives home after a busy day, he's keen to try something new, however it doesn't quite work out as well as he imagined

No words needed to be spoken as Max walked into your hotel room. His muscles were aching, his eyes drooping as a result of yet another long day of practice. Race day was only a day away and he was pushing himself to the limit. You barely glanced at him as he walked in, knowing he had his own routine that he loved. Whilst Max sorted himself, you laid out across the sofa and scrolled through your phone, catching up with the events of the day that you had missed whilst down at the paddock supporting Max.

As soon as you heard his footsteps come back through the room you stood up from the sofa and went into the small kitchen that was attached. Meanwhile, Max walked into the living room and threw himself down on the sofa. He stretched his limbs out as much as he could, with his tall frame it didn’t take much for him to take up most of the room. After a few minutes you returned, placing the hot cup of tea that you had made for Max on the coffee table, you looked in confusion to try and find some space. Max could feel you staring, smiling softly at the expression on your face. He didn’t say a word, he simply tapped against his muscular chest, only to make you scoff, shaking your head as you quickly refused to accept Max’s offer.

“Just lay here, I’ll be alright.”

“You’re sore from a day of racing, the last thing you need is me on top of you,” you tried to argue, but Max was having none of it.

“I wouldn’t offer if it was a problem,” Max assured you, lazily reaching out and taking a hold of your hand. You took a step forward before he used his extra weight to pull you down on top of him. Your head rested at the top of his chest, just underneath his neck, bodies pressed together as you managed to rest your legs between Max’s. His arm wrapped around you, making sure that you were safe in position, squeezing you nice and tight to make the most of the close proximity between you both.

“I can’t believe you’ve got me laying here,” you chuckled as you felt several kisses being pressed against the top of your head, “we’ve become one of those couples.”

“It’s your fault,” he innocently teased, “you’ve turned me into one of those boyfriends I never thought I’d be.”

“Hey,” you giggled, slapping your hand gently against Max’s bare chest. You knew deep down it was true what Max was saying, he had been quite standoffish when you first started dating, but over time you had found a new, softer, side to Max that left him being known more for how affectionate he was towards you rather than the world champion he was.

And you would never have had him any other way.

“I hate that I love what you’ve done to me.”

There he went again, jokingly blaming you as if he wasn’t hopelessly in love with you and thankful for you every single day.

“You’re comfortable, right? We can shuffle around if you’re not babe.”

“I’m alright,” you assured Max, shuffling closer into his side as his grip around you tightened. “I wonder if the Max I knew when we first started dating ever imagined himself cuddling on the sofa like this.”

It was the kind of wholesome moment that Max always refused to be a part of, but now he craved. He laid for some time and told you about his day, filled you in on all the details that you missed from the practice from where you were stood in the paddock, making sure to share every last detail with you.

And as he did so, you listened intently too. You were so close to his heart you could feel it quicken as he spoke about those adrenaline inducing moments, or calming again when he told you how relieved he was to return the car to the garage in one piece.

Once he’d finished speaking, you tilted your head back and looked up at Max. “I could imagine us laying here forever you know.”

He hummed in agreement, “I love being able to hold you this close to me.”

You chose not to respond as you heard how sleepy Max was, silently encouraging him to try and get a bit of rest.

It didn’t take long before you heard Max’s light snores about you letting you know that he was resting, despite your apprehension, laying on his chest had ended up being surprisingly comfortable. You weren’t sure how long you ended up laying there as you soon found yourself beginning to get sleepy on top of Max. You weren’t sure whether it was his touch, or the comfort of knowing that he was right there beside you, but something caused your body to switch. Max was out like a light, and soon enough you joined him, still squeezed on the sofa with your holds as tight as ever, making sure that nothing bad happened to the other person.

“Ouch! Oh my goodness!”

“Babe? What’s wrong?”

A loud groan came from you as you felt the edge of the coffee table hit against your back before landing on the floor with a thud. Your hands rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you tried to figure how in a matter of moments you had gone from comfortably laying on top of Max to find yourself laid out on the living room floor, pain shooting through you.

Max jolted upright as soon as he heard your voice, cringing as he looked down at you on the floor. Your expression told him everything, pressing your hand into the small of your back where the pain was at its worst.

“Love, I’m so sorry. Are you alright? Tell me where it hurts…please,” Max whispered, pushing himself off of the sofa and joining you on the floor, pulling you into his side.

“Damn,” you sighed, biting down on the inside of your lip, struggling to come to terms with what had happened. It didn’t take long for Max to place his hand where your pain was coming from in an attempt to ease it for you.

“Do you need to get checked out? Does it hurt anywhere else?” Max questioned, the panic strong in his voice as his eyes darted to check you properly.

Your head shook, letting Max take a moment to check for himself that you really were alright, covering every last bit of your body.

“Just my pride, it’s taken a bit of a dent,” you tried to joke, bringing the faintest of smiles to Max’s face. “I think my head brushed against the side of the table, but somehow I just about managed to miss it.”

Max doesn’t look as certain as you though.

“Come on, I think a proper bed might help me to feel better.”

Max is still doubtful as you rise to your feet, refusing to let you do anything alone. He could tell from the feeling in his arms that he must’ve gotten tired, ultimately letting go which led to you rolling off of him and ending up in a bundle on the floor.

“Do you think you might be concussed or something?”

“Max, love, I promise that my head didn’t hit anything, I’ll be alright.”

He wants to nod and assure that you he understands, but he knows exactly what you’re like. He’s lost count of how many times you’ve pretended in front of him to stop him from worrying, not wanting thoughts of you to cloud him when he has so many other things to think about, especially when it came to his career.

Max is with you every step of the way as you walk into the bedroom of your hotel, encouraging you to move as slowly as possible. Only when you’re laid out does he finally begin to relax a little.

As soon as he’s there beside you, you’re rolling across and tucking yourself back into him again. First your leg drapes over him, then your arm, and soon enough you’re pushing your entire frame on top of him.

“Do you really want to do this?” Max questioned, reluctantly placing his arms around you, his voice shaky and filled with concern.

“I think I might be a little bit safer laying in a big double bed rather than the sofa,” you assured Max, keeping your grip on him nice and tight so that he had no choice but to let you stay there.

Max wanted to protest, but there was no way he could argue with his injured girl. “Why do you like this so much.”

The answer was easy for you, it was the one thing that you loved more than anything.

You loved the warmth that it brought you, the comfort, and the way it made your heart race. Above all else, you loved how it always made you fall a little bit more in love with Max every single time.

“Your cuddles always feel like home.”

“Really?” Max asked in surprise, never quite imaging you to feel that way. “If that’s the case, I guess I better let you lay here on my chest for the night, right?”

“I won’t be arguing if you do,” you chuckled, finally feeling Max relax underneath you after your little incident.

Max is still a little wary, he can’t help but fret about you. But having you right there where he can keep an eye on you is the best he can ask for. “I love you,” he murmured, pressing a light kiss against the very top of your head.

“I love you too,” you responded, stretching to be able to capture Max’s jawline with your lips, knowing how much of a sweet spot that sharp line was for him. His strong arms held onto you a little tighter in response, making your heart swell as you both close your eyes again, hoping that next time around you’re still laying there engulfed in each other’s arms again.

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[moonstruckme]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing and saw that your requests were open so I thought I’d shoot this over. If you don’t vibe with it don’t worry about skipping it. I was wondering if I could request a James x reader where they are living together and definitely love each other but they’ve kind of slipped into a roommate phase. Like they’re just living around each other and reader starts feeling insecure and scared and doesn’t know how to get back into normalcy. Maybe a little angsty with some fluff at the end

Thanks lovely!

modern au

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 2.4k words

When James comes in the front door, his shoes squelch. You look him up and down, dripping wet and mud caked up to his knees. You wince. 

“Rough practice?” 

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” James says, dropping his bag by the door and heading for the kitchen. 

There’s an exhausted slump to his shoulders, and his shoes leave a muddy trail of footprints, and you hate to do it, but—

“Would you mind taking off your shoes?” 

“Oh.” James looks down. You see him follow the trail with his eyes. “Yeah, sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” 

You hate yourself as soon as it’s out of your mouth, because that’s exactly the sort of thing you’d say if it wasn’t fine. And yeah, you’re a bit peeved that he’d track mud inside after you’d mopped the floors just yesterday, but you know he wasn’t thinking about it and you’d promised yourself just this morning that you were going to be nicer to him and now he’s sitting on the floor looking like his day is getting worse instead of better. 

You try again. 

“Um, I made dinner.” You step over him awkwardly, setting a hand on his head to help yourself. James doesn’t shrink from the touch, but he doesn’t lean into it like you could swear he used to either. The stove turns off like it’s relieved to do it, having idled for close to a half hour while you waited for James to get home. You wanted to try and eat together tonight; you used to do it all the time, but lately you’ve been having too many couch dinners by your lonesome. “Macaroni and cheese, is that alright?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” You jolt a little at James’ hand on your back as he reaches around you for a bowl, and he looks at you, lips quirking like you’re funny. 

You find yourself smiling back by muscle memory, a reflex almost forgotten. It lifts your heart. 

“So, how was practice?” 

James glances up at you, then goes back to filling his bowl. “I’ve already told you,” he says. “Rough.” 

“Oh, right.” You huff out a little laugh. He passes you the spoon, and you take it without really looking at him. “Sorry.” 

His answering smile is weaker this time. More a press of his lips than anything. 

“Don’t be.” He kisses you on the cheek, then goes, pulling out his chair at the table. 

You take your seat, too. A lot of these base routines have begun to feel empty lately. They used to be an assurance for you, like if you always wore your same paths into the carpet you’d become so entrenched in this house, in James’ house, that neither he nor it could ever let you leave. You loved knowing that if he was back from his run when you woke up in the morning, there’d be a glass of orange juice waiting for you on the counter. That when the flowers on your kitchen table started to wilt you’d come home to a fresh bunch, and that if you called and told him you were having a bad day lunch from your favorite sandwich shop would miraculously show up at your work. Those things used to make your heart feel full to bursting, because they meant he was thinking of you. 

Now you’re not sure what they mean. They seem like things James does because he’s supposed to, like part of a script, a routine. Chores. 

As soon as he’s sat down, he’s digging into his dinner. James eats like a boy. Wolfing, like someone’s going to take it away from him. You hope it means he likes it. 

“What’d you do today, m’love?” he asks through a mouthful.

And see, he says things like that. Calls you his love, asks about your day. It’s all started to fall flat. You know he’ll take whatever answer you give him, because you’ve begun to suspect he doesn’t really care. 

“Nothing crazy,” you answer honestly. “Shayna’s baby came early, so I’m taking on a bit more at work until they can find someone to fill in for her. So that’s a bit stressful, but it’s not awful.” 

“Mm.” James nods, but doesn’t offer more than that. His mouth seems to be perpetually full. 

You fork a macaroni noodle, pretending you have more appetite than you do. Truthfully, you’ve felt weird and off and vaguely nauseous all day. 

Last night had been a bit of a breaking point for you. It came on rather suddenly. You’d gone to bed long after James, but you couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t seem to tear your eyes from him, the way the moonlight snuck in through the slats in your blinds to fall across his sleeping face. He was so beautiful, and you loved him so much you didn’t know what to do with it all, and then you were crying. 

You’d wept silently, wishing James would wake up, but you were unwilling to rouse him and he wasn’t going to do it himself. Eventually, you’d fallen asleep with your pillowcase damp and cold under your cheek and woke to find James’ side of the bed empty as usual. Orange juice on the counter. 

“I was wondering if you might want to watch a film tonight,” you say lightly. “I saw they’ve put that sci-fi one you like back on Netflix.” 

“Ah, have they really?” James swallows, forks another bite. “Wish I could, but I’m supposed to meet everyone at Spoons in a few minutes here.” 

Oh. The realization hits you like a dull thud, smack in the center of your chest. He’s not eating quickly because he likes your food; it’s because he wants to leave. 

“Can’t you stay here?” Your voice is small. James looks at you like he’s not sure what to make of it. 

“Not tonight, sweetheart.” He offers you a smile. His fork clinks in the bottom of an empty bowl, and his chair screeches as it’s pushed back. James brushes his lips across your cheek as he goes by. “We’ll have to do it this weekend, though, definitely.” 

You know by now these sorts of promises aren’t meant to keep. They come written in disappearing ink.

He heads upstairs to change, and desperation grips you. It forgets he’ll be home later and puts you hot on his heels, your own dinner left on the table barely touched. 

“Jamie, wait.” He pauses with his shirt half off, looking over at you in the doorway of your bedroom. “Don’t you feel like we’ve not had much time together lately?” you ask. 

The plea is naked in your tone, and James’ eyes soften. He tugs his shirt off, straightens his glasses. “I haven’t had time for much of anything lately,” he says, shrugging good-naturedly. 

It’s true. He’s been busy. His new coach seems to think the team has nothing but time, and as captain James is expected to commit even more than most. When he’s not at training, he’s keeping fit on his own or running errands for his mum or sleeping it all off in your bed. 

“But you should come tonight,” James goes on brightly. “Dorcas and Marlene will be there, it’ll be fun.” 

He tosses his clothes in the laundry bin and makes his way over to the dresser. You cross your arms, then uncross them. Parse your words. “I don’t…I just feel like you hung out with your friends last night, you know?” 

“You could’ve come then, too,” he says, stepping into a pair of jeans. “They all love you, you know that.” 

“I don’t want to hang out with your friends.” It comes out sharper than you intend, though not less sharp than the look James gives you. He’s finished getting dressed but doesn’t make to leave. “That’s not what I mean. I like your friends, but it’s not…the same as spending time with you. It doesn’t count, for me.” Your voice softens on the last two words, knowing that for James, it might very well count. 

For him, you’ve gathered, social time is social time. So long as you’re there, he’ll feel just as connected to you as if you were curled up on the couch together having a private conversation. You wish your brain worked the same way, but it doesn’t. 

He’s looking at you with something like trepidation now, so you state it plainly. 

“I really miss you, Jamie.” A blockage rises in your throat. You swallow it back down. “I feel like…I don’t know what’s going on with us lately.” 

“We’re the same as we have been.” He looks confused, worse when your face pinches painfully. 

“And that’s all?” You try to blink them away, but tears burn in your eyes. “This is just what we do now?” 

“No.” James looks appalled, but you catch the quick glance he gives to the digital clock on his nightstand. “It’s only for now, just until the season’s over and Coach mellows out. Where’s this coming from?” 

You blink hard, angling your head away from him. “Nothing, sorry. I’m just being emotional.” Your breath scrapes on the way in. You pretend it doesn’t. “It’s okay if you have to go.” 

He shakes his head, and when you start back towards the stairs anyway, he says, “No, come on.” In a few long strides, he’s got your elbow. He tugs you gently back into the room. “Let’s sit down, okay? What’s going on?” 

“Sorry.” Your voice is pitchy and tight. You think you hear James inhale softly before he’s drawing you into a hug. It doesn’t feel quite like it used to, but it’s still warm, still nice. 

He sits you both down on the edge of your bed, arms still wrapped loosely around you. “What are you sorry for, baby?” 

“I was going to try not to make your life harder today,” you laugh wetly, pulling back from him to swipe under your eyes. 

“You don’t make my life harder,” James says, somewhere near to dismayed as he slides his hand to your shoulder. “Of course you don’t.” 

You give him a look meant to say, Oh, come on, but you’re not sure how it comes off with your face blotchy and snot starting to run from your nose. You take in a big breath, trying to calm yourself. 

“I think I’ve made it harder more than I’ve made it easier lately,” you admit, looking at your bedcover and also at nothing at all. “I didn’t even really realize until recently, but I’ve just felt so…disconnected from you lately. It’s like even when you’re here, I’m just around you and not with you, and—” Your voice catches, and you inhale again. “And I know you’re really busy, but I’m just trying to find ways to fix it.” 

James’ hand drops from your shoulder, into his lap, and you lift your gaze. He looks crestfallen. “What do you want me to do?” he asks quietly, his own voice starting to sound raw. “I can’t control these things. And we live together, I see you all the time. It doesn’t seem fair to ask me not to see my mates.” 

“I’m not asking you to do that.” You’re horrified. “But that’s just it, Jamie, it’s like we only live together anymore. Saying hi when you come in, waving when you go back out, those don’t count as quality time for me. And I wish I could get the same feelings from being in a big group that you do, but I can’t.” 

James looks at you helplessly. You shrug, just as powerless. 

“I know it’s not your fault,” you tell him, and a tear drips off your chin. “I don’t know what to do, either. I just want you to know that I’m trying, okay?” 

James nods for a minute. Thoughtful, heartbroken. He lets out a big breath. Your arms come around each other at almost the same time, so in sync you can’t be sure who reaches for the other first. You’re trying not to get snot on his fresh shirt, but he palms the back of your head, pressing your face to his shoulder. 

“Okay,” he says quietly. “You’re right, we should both be trying more. I think I’ve let myself get so overwhelmed that I’m not…almost not even thinking throughout the day, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this by yourself.” 

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat, and a little laugh rumbles through James’ chest. He hugs you tighter. 

“It is a little bit, though, isn’t it? I haven’t been paying attention. But okay, let’s make a plan for now.” His hand splays out between your shoulder blades, and you clutch at the material of his shirt, both of you wordlessly trying to get closer as if you can make up for lost time. “Come with me tonight, please.” You go still, but James goes on, “I know it’s not a solution, but I can’t back out and I’d really feel so much better if you were there. Please, angel. And tomorrow, we’ll stay in and watch something. Not a film only I like,” he gives your back a teasing little squeeze, “but something we can both get into. Or we can just talk, or play a game, I don’t care. Tomorrow is our night, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you sniff, nodding and pulling away slightly so you can wipe your face. James joins in, pinching your nose clean for you and wiping the snot on his jeans carelessly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try to clear my busy schedule.” 

He smiles. It’s like the sun beaming through clouds. “I’d appreciate that. Really hard to get ahold of you these days.” You let out a little laugh, and his grin spreads. “Good, so that’s for now, and at training on Friday I’m going to talk to Coach about cutting down on our hours.” 

You feel your eyebrows pinch. “Jamie, you don’t have to—” 

“I do,” he says. “I’ve been a wuss about it, but everyone on the team is miffed and it’s really my job to handle it. He doesn’t know everything yet, so I can at least give him some advice about how we operate best.” 

James palms the back of your neck, pulling you towards him and meeting you halfway. His forehead presses against yours. 

“I’m really glad you said something. Thanks for being the smart one, as usual.” Your smile is small at first, but James nudges his nose against yours until it blooms in full. “We’re gonna make it better, okay?” 

You swallow thickly. “Okay. Thanks, Jamie.” 

“Don’t thank me.” His voice takes on a tender quality, and you push your forehead into his. He palms your cheeks in response, stamping his lips to your forehead. “Love you, sweetheart.” 

“I love you, too.” 

That was never up for debate. 

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The End - Part Six

Note - wow, I can’t believe we made it to the end 😭 thank you all so much for reading and for your kind words throughout. I really hoped you enjoyed this as much as I have and thank you again to Elisa for being so patient with me. I’d love to know what you all think and enjoyyyyy

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 10.7k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

Day and night you thought about Mason. About what your life would be like if you got the guts to let him in and tell him how you really felt now but everytime you thought about it, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Months passed and all you did was fall deeper and deeper for your best friend. Seeing him more often than ever didn’t exactly help the situation either but the fact the pair of you were so domestic just made it all even harder.

You were in a perfect routine with him. Home games with you both in his shirt when you could and away games if they were close by. Dinner together as a family at least twice a week with Mason picking up Gee from nursery every Wednesday to give you some time to yourself but you knew he liked taking her out for treats as well. So much so you pretend you didn’t see anything when she came back with chocolate ice cream stains down her dress as her happy smile made up for all of it.

You wondered if he’d maybe caught onto the fact your feelings had changed. It felt so obvious to you in the way you acted around him now as he made you so nervous and flustered, but if it was obvious then he didn’t say anything. He was still your typical kind and loving Mason and you were trying so hard to be his best friend.

You didn’t know what was holding you back. You were pretty certain he felt the same but it had been so long since you’d heard him say anything of the sort you’d managed to talk yourself into thinking that his feelings had vanished. What exactly did you have to offer him anyway? You were a single mum who was just about getting by when he could no doubt have any girl he laid his eyes on.

That didn’t make you feel any less for him, if anything as the months went by all you did was fall for him more. He made you feel happy and warm and filled your house with so much laughter and love that when he wasn’t around you felt lost. Even when he was by your side you still found yourself drifting off into your own imagination to think about what life would be like if you were an item and right now was no different.

You knew Mason was talking, but the piece of paper in your pocket was burning a hole through your jeans and it wasn’t long before he noticed you were in your own world and bumped your shoulder gently.

‘Y/n? You listening to me?’ He scolded lightly. Turning to face you and he must have picked up on the moody look on your face as his face dropped as soon as you caught eyes. ‘Y/n? What’s wrong’

‘It’s nothing-‘

‘No don’t do that’ he interrupted, placing his arm around your shoulders for a bit of comfort and you had to refrain from nuzzling yourself into him further. ‘You know you can tell me’

‘It’s Gee’s nursery’ you huffed. Figuring you may as well come clean. ‘They’re putting on a parents day thing for Christmas and… I don’t know, I'm just overthinking it too much. You know what this time of years like, it’s all gonna be about families and there’s gonna be all those kids with both parents there for them and-’

‘Stop it. You give Gee everything. You’re mum and dad rolled into one and Gee loves you, she thinks you’re a superhero’ he reassured you and you didn’t realise how much you needed to hear that from him until he’d said it. Your eyes filling with tears as you hid you face away again to take some breaths but he held you the whole time.

‘Will you come? To parents day?’ You asked. His eyebrows shooting straight up in shock but you just sent him a reassuring smile. ‘I know it’s a bit of a weird ask but she’s actually invited you’ you laughed, looking at his confused face as you pulled the invitation out so he could see his name written on the front under yours in Gee’s best attempt at writing. ‘If you’re busy it’s fine but she’s written your name and everything’

‘Well how can I say no to that huh?’ He laughed and you could tell he was a little emotional about it as his eyes became glossy. ‘I reckon if we asked Woody over we could recreate that picture’ he laughed, trying to mask how emotional he was with a joke. ‘Where is Gee anyway? I’ll go tell her I’m coming’

‘Watching tv, she said she had a long day and needed to unwind’ you told him, rolling your eyes at her sass and he quickly placed a kiss on your head before going to join her.

You joined them too not long after. Laughing as they were both laid on their bellies with their faces in their hands so they could watch tv together and it struck you how alike they were. You always thought Gee could pass as Masons own child but having had him be around consistently for well over a year now they were like little twins.

'Do you wanna stay for dinner?' You asked him, brows raised as you looked over to him but there was an expression on his face you'd never seen before and it made your tummy drop.

'Oh um I can't, I've got plans already' he nodded. Sitting up to face you and scratching the back of his neck as he looked to the floor so you decided to play dumb and see what he said in hopes you could confirm your suspicions.

'Oh, is Woody visiting? You didn't tell me'

'No, it's um… it's no one you know' he shrugged and you knew he was never going to come out with it so you decided to call him out.

‘Wait a minute, are you going on a date?' You asked him and his face told you everything you needed to know. A sinking feeling in your tummy at the realisation but you made sure you kept it together.

'I date, I just don't broadcast it everywhere’ he laughed. Your mind reeling and trying to think back when he may have been out before with someone without you knowing but you shut it off quickly. Not liking how you felt when thinking about him with another girl but thankfully he didn't let you dwell on it as he stood up and gathered his things. 'I better go, I need a shower and everything. Are you alright?'

'Yeah fine, sorry um, have a nice time, yeah? Good luck’ you spluttered, trying to look busy so he couldn't see the heat travelling up your neck but his hand on your wrist made you stop in your tracks.

'Thanks love' he smiled, kissing your forehead quickly just like always but all you felt was sadness.

The rest of the evening went by slowly. You and Gee getting into your pjs after dinner so you could watch some Disney films under a blanket but you couldn’t focus on anything for too long. Thoughts of Mason and who he might be with filled your mind and you’d never felt more miserable.

If he was going out on dates then he’d clearly moved on and left his feelings for you in the past. It's not like you could blame him, you’d never given him a sign that you wanted anything more and he’d waited long enough. He deserved to be happy but it was tearing you apart that it wouldn’t be you that could give him what he needed now.

You were up and out early the next morning as you were meeting Ell for breakfast but you saw the way her face changed with just one look at you. Waiting until Gee and Tommy were in their respective seats before she dived in.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked carefully but you didn’t know what to say. She’d guessed a few months back that your feelings had changed for him a little bit but knew you weren’t ready to do anything about it and never pushed you. Right now you wished she’d had though and as you were still feeling just as miserable.

‘Mason, he’s um… he went in a date yesterday’

‘Okay?’ She breathed. Looking at you questioningly as if she couldn’t understand what the big deal was and you knew you’d have to explain further.

‘I don’t know, I just feel weird about it. He’s never told me before but I bet he’s been on loads. I mean look at him of course he has’ you sighed and you felt your eyes sting the more you thought about him with someone else.

‘Oh babe’ she pouted. Reaching over and taking you hand and as much as you didn’t want Gee seeing you upset you couldn’t seem to hold it together.

‘I’ve missed my chance haven’t I?’ You croaked. Using you other hand to quickly wipe your cheeks so your tears went as quickly as they came.

‘Not necessarily. You said he was just on a date right? That could be anything, it’s probably just a first date’ she tried to reassure you but your mind was already reeling.

‘Yeah but it could also be a third or a fifth or maybe he’s actually got a girlfriend and they’re in bed right now and she gets to kiss him and do all the things I should be doing’ you spiralled and before you knew it you were snatching your hand away from hers and grabbing your phone out of your bag. ‘That's it, I’m calling him’

‘Y/n, no! You can’t’ Ell cried out. Reaching for you phone and somehow snatching it from your hand before you’d even realised.

‘Why not?’

‘Whatever he’s doing he’s allowed to do! He’s single okay, don’t ruin it for him’ she told you and it’s like her words were a slap to the face.

She was right. He wasn’t yours anywhere else but in your own head so if he was in bed with someone else right now then it didn’t matter how much it was tearing you apart. He was well within his rights to see whoever he wanted and it made you feel like crap to think about. This was your own doing though and when you looked up to Ell she was looking at you sympathetically.

‘Look, i think you need to tell him how you feel’

‘I can’t’ you croaked, your emotions attempting to get the better of you but you swallowed them down as best you could.

‘You can, okay? This has gotten way out of hand like you can’t be trying to jeopardise his dates and keep tabs on him if you’re not going to tell him what’s going on in your head. So you either tell him how you’re feeling and move forward or you keep quiet and leave him be’ she told. ‘I’m sorry for the tough love babe, but I just want you to be happy and I know that Mason would give you the world if you just asked’

‘I don’t know, I’ll think about it’

‘Well I’m keeping hold of your phone until we’re done’ she winked and even though you knew she was being serious you knew she was trying to make you laugh.

You didn’t hear much from Mason over the next few days. You knew he was busy in recovery whilst also trying to get a few personal projects off the ground but you also didn’t feel like you could message him. Pulling yourself back from him a little bit as you were feeling awkward and sad about the whole situation but you knew deep down you were just incredibly jealous.

It got to the point where you weren’t sure if he was even coming to Gee’s performance anymore but as soon as you’d got in from work you felt your phone buzz and Masons name pop up on your screen.

The thought of seeing him the next day filled you with mixed emotions and you couldn’t tell if you were excited or completely terrified. One the one hand you knew you’d have to hear all about his date and how well it went but you but on the other hand you had missed him to the point you didn’t care and just wanted to be around him.

You dropped Gee off early so they could get her into her costume and asked Ell to save you two seats whilst you waited outside for Mason. He was taking a while though and you thought you might have to abandon him soon so you didn’t miss anything but as soon as you turned back to the door his voice rung through the car park.

‘Hey sugar’ you suddenly heard from behind you and when you turned to face him, he pulled you straight into a hug before you could even look at him.

‘Sugar?’ You laughed but he didn’t explain himself. Just held you tighter and buried himself into your neck. ‘I was beginning to think you’d be late’ you told him, pulling back and budging his shoulder but the ever persistent cheeky smile he gave you made you smile back just as wide.

‘Couldn’t find anywhere to park, I've been walking for about ten years’ he joked. Slinging his arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead before his eye landed on the two huge Christmas trees dangling from your ears. ‘Nice earrings’

‘I’m just trying to get into the spirit of things’

‘Well you look great. Makes me look under dressed but I thought it was best I keep things on the down low’ he winked before his face turned a little more serious. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve seemed a bit off, I really wanted to be completely free today for Gee so I had to move some things around but you’ve got me uninterrupted for the rest of the day’

‘That’s okay, you don’t need to explain’ you told him but he just shrugged as he let you go so you could walk into the main reception.

‘I know, but I’ve missed you. I haven’t even had a second to think about anything else but work but it’s like now I’m back with my favourite people’

‘I’ve missed you, too’ you whispered. It hitting you then that you really had and now you knew he had the rest of the day free you thought you’d make sure you could spend as much time as you could with him. ‘Maybe after all this is over you can come back and we can catch up a bit more?’

‘Did you even need to ask’ he laughed.

Mason helped himself to the complimentary mince pies on the way into the hall before sending you a wink. Letting you lead him over to the two seats so he could say hello to Ell and Noah before you got settled for the show to begin.

‘So how was your little date the other night?’ You asked before you even realised what you’d said and you wished you could take it back. You didn’t want to know about him and any other woman but you couldn’t turn back time now. Not even having the courage to look at him as he answered but you knew he wasn’t looking your way either.

‘It was fine’ he shrugged.

‘Just fine?’

‘Yeah’

‘Wow Mase, say how you really feel’ you laughed sarcastically, your eyes flickering over to him for a second and you could see his cheeks were bright red and he was biting back a smile.

‘Fine, you wanna know how it really went?’ He asked, turning towards you in his seat as he wrapped his arms around the back of your chair and as much as you wanted to say no you didn’t.

‘Yes’ you whispered.

‘She didn’t stop talking, like non stop to the point she was talking whilst she ate and she accidentally spat pasta into my eye’

‘Oh Mase’ you giggled. Finally turning to look at him as you covered your mouth with your hand but he just rolled his eyes as he squeezed your shoulder.

Has he always been this gorgeous? you thought. His bright brown eyes full of warmth as he looked down at you and you could feel yourself blushing under his stare.

‘So yeah, that’s how it went’

‘Safe to say you won’t be seeing her again?’

‘Safe to say I won’t be seeing anyone again, at least not for a little while anyway. She’s traumatised me. The only other person I’ve seen that Messy with pasta is Gee’ he grumbled. Turning back in his seat as the lights were dimming and the show was almost about to start.

You felt a weight lift from your heart immediately knowing there was no other woman you had to worry about now but the reality finally settled in that you would have to let him know how you felt before another came along. He’d mentioned that he didn’t want to date but you didn’t know if he was being serious or not and figured you better tell him while you had the courage.

You noticed Gee as soon as she stepped out on stage in her Giant Christmas tree costume but you could tell straight away she couldn’t see you. Her eyes frantically searching the crowd as her bottom lip dropped in fear you might not be there but it was Mason who made himself known. Standing up and waving his arms whilst calling her name and she found him within an instant.

You thought Mason had wanted to be inconspicuous today from the way he was dressed and what he’d said earlier but that had clearly gone out the window as he’d just announced himself to the whole room so Gee wouldn’t get upset thinking you weren’t there for her.

It was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen, the look of relief washing over her face which quickly turned to excitement as she waved back at him before blowing multiple kisses to which he returned. A chorus of quiet awwws ringing out through the room as she continued to blow kisses to the whole crowd so after you’d given her a wave to let her know you were here too, you pulled Mason back down to sit next to you and he gave you a shy smile.

‘What happened to being on the down low?’ You laughed but he just pursed his lips with a smile and shrugged his shoulders.

‘Yeah that’s gone out the window a bit hasn’t it. I won’t have my baby girl being upset though, so it was worth it’ he told you but he must have caught onto the shocked expression on your face and knew he needed to explain a bit further. ‘I know she’s not mine, but she sort of is’

‘Sometimes I think she’s like your double’ you smiled at him. Thinking back to them sat watching tv together the other day but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. The sound of rocking around the Christmas tree blaring through the speakers and suddenly everyone was silent.

You could barely see what Gee was doing through the tears that were welling in your eyes. It was a dance she’s been practising at home with you for weeks but to see her front and centre shaking her stuff as she sung her heart out made you feel like the proudest mum in the world and when Mason slid his hand into yours and squeezed it to offer you some comfort, you held on tightly.

It had been a long road to get here. Long nights of uncertainty of whether you were doing the right thing by becoming a single mum and moving hundreds of miles away from anyone you knew but it was moments like this that made you realise it was all worth it. She was the most important thing in your world, a reason for you to get up in the mornings and carry on and you knew as long as you had her you’d always have everything you’d always dreamed of.

Once all the theatrics were over about an hour later there was time for all the parents to chat but you mostly stuck with Ell as the pair of you didn’t really know any of the other mums, and you let Noah and Mason grab you all some drinks whilst you waited for all the kids to come out.

You knew all eyes were on Mason, and you knew he knew that too. Standing right by your side with his cap on low to hide his face but that was all out the window when Gee came back. Chucking her up in the air until she was giggling like a maniac and it wasn’t long before the first dad came over with their son to ask Mason for a cheeky autograph and a selfie.

‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ You asked, watching a mini queue form but he just shrugged as he turned to you with a big smile.

‘Probably not, but I hate saying no’ he told you and thankfully it didn’t take too long to get through everyone. The four of you deciding to head out and back yours for some food and you watched with a soft expression as Mason walked the kids back to your car with one on each hand.

As Mason was parked a road or two away he let you know he’d meet you back home and dashed off but as you reached for Gee, Ell stopped you.

‘I’ll take, Gee. You need to talk to him’ she told you firmly and you knew she was right.

‘I will’ you nodded. Quickly putting Gee’s car seat in Ell’s car and telling her you’d come and get her later but she seemed excited about going to Tommy's house for a bit.

You were full of nerves the whole ride back, trying to think about what you wanted to say but the ride was short and sweet and all you felt was an overwhelming sense of nerves by the time you got back.

‘Hey, where’s Gee? And I thought they were all coming back here?’ Mason asked as you got out of the car. He was lent against his own but he followed you up to the front door whilst you frantically thought of an excuse as to why you were on your own.

‘Oh um… Gee was kicking up a fuss about ice cream and wanting to see Ell’s Hamster so she’s taken her for a couple of hours with Tommy. Thought maybe we could finally have a bit more of a catch up like we said?’ You offered and he sent you a nod as his cheeks reddened.

‘Okay, yeah. Let’s do it’ he smiled shyly. Letting you lead him into the house before ushering him into the living room whilst you got him a drink.

You used the time you were in the kitchen to calm yourself down a bit. This was Mason you thought to yourself and when you made it back to the living room he was looking at you with a huge smile as he waved his phone in the air.

‘You fancy a cheeky maccies? I didn’t have lunch I’m bloody starving’

‘Go on then’ you laughed. Taking his phone from him so you could add your order and before long you were chatting away as you shoved nuggets in your mouth. Thankfully the pair of you kept away from the whole dating topic and just spoke about upcoming plans and how he’d been playing recently after another short spell out but thankfully he was in good spirits about it all.

‘I fancy a coffee, you want one?’ You asked him after you finished off your last fry and he was nodding his head as he shoved the last in of his own so you quickly tidied up and made your way to the kitchen to make you both one. It suddenly hitting you that you hadn’t spoken about what you’d meant to as you were so caught up in just being together so you used the few minutes the kettle was boiling to think about how you were going to broach the subject.

‘What you watching?’ You asked as you walked back in with his coffee. Placing it down on the coffee table before taking a seat next to him and when he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his body you just went with it. Cuddling up with him on the sofa and he scrubbed the video back to the beginning.

It was a video of Gee from earlier, right at the front singing her song and doing her little dance and you felt your eyes sting again at how proud you were of the tiny human you’d created.

‘She’s so funny, I still can’t believe I cried through the whole thing’

‘That’s why I thought I better record it, thought you wouldn’t be able to see much through all the tears in your eyes’ he laughed but you just patted him on the chest playfully.

You both sat and laughed at how into it she was, cuddling into Mason like you couldn’t get close enough and when you looked up at him as the video finished his lips were merely an inch from yours.

The air shifted within a nanosecond. Time suddenly standing still as he froze in front of you and you did the only thing you wanted to and pushed up slightly. Placing your lips on his in a gentle kiss before pulling back to gage his reaction but he hadn’t moved. He didn't kiss you back but you didn’t exactly give him a chance to and he wasn’t backing off so you leaned in again in hopes this time he’d reciprocate. Thankfully after a beat or two he did and as you both sighed into each other's mouths you deepened the kiss even further.

It was like any sense of anything left your bodies as you kissed each other. Your free hand holding his jaw as he kissed you back softly and you thought you might have died and gone to heaven. Not believing yourself that this was the first kiss the pair of you had ever shared and your tummy was fluttering with how gentle he was being with you. Both lost in each other as you wondered what had taken this long to get here but soon you didn’t have time to think for too much longer. Feeling Mason pulling away and she shook himself out of whatever trance he was in and you felt all the blood in your body rush to your cheeks.

‘Shit, sorry y/n I-‘

‘No don’t be sorry, it wasn’t you. I kissed you first’

‘Yeah but I shouldn’t have kissed you back’

‘Why?’ You breathed, confused as to why he seemed so upset with himself but he was now looking back at you just as confused.

‘Cause you don’t want this’ he told you, speaking to you like he was talking to a crazy person. ‘You’ve told me this isn’t what you want so many times-‘

‘I was wrong, I do want this’ you cut him off, sitting up properly so you could finally speak to him properly about your feelings but this wasn’t how you expected it to be coming out or for him to be looking back at you.

Shocked? Maybe. But horrified? This wasn’t on your list.

‘What? I don’t… what do you mean?’

‘I was just confused, I’ve wanted you and us for the longest time I swear. I heard you talking to Gee when she was a baby and telling her how you still loved me and-‘

‘What? That was years ago’

‘I know, and I’ve been thinking about it for years’

‘You knew and you didn’t say anything? He asked, his voice easing slightly but you knew it was just because he was upset with you.

‘Mase please just listen’ you pleaded. The hurt across his face was unbearable and you wanted to reassure him in some way but you were so flustered you couldn't get anything out properly. ‘You’re my best friend, yeah? Always have been but hearing you still loved me, like after all this time still, it just made me wonder what life would be like if things were different and somewhere along the way I got confused like you’re so good with Gee especially after Jack left you really held us all together and you’re always there for her-‘

‘So because I’m good with Gee you think that’s enough?’

‘No, not at all Mason that’s just an extra-‘

‘So what then? Are you confused?’ He cut you off and you’re starting to get frustrated at how he kept batting you away.

‘No Mase’ you huffed, wishing he would just listen but you understood why he wasn’t.

‘Well what is it?’ He demanded. His voice desperate as he moved himself away from you and you felt your heart plummet as he moved to stand on the other side of the room.

‘Will you let me just talk? You know how much I hate being interrupted’

‘Let me guess, Jack always did the same?’ He scoffed and you were confused as to why he’d bought him up even if he was right.

‘Well yeah he did, and I don’t need you doing the same’

‘Why do you always fucking do that?’ He exploded and you were taken aback by the way he was being. He’d never once spoken to you like this before and whilst you knew you had nothing to be afraid of in anyway it still shocked you.

‘Do what?’

‘Comepare me to him all the fucking time?’

‘I don’t-‘ you defended but it was no use. Mason was furious and ready to give you it with both barrels.

‘You do!’ He insisted even louder. ‘Apart from what we’ve got between our legs I’m nothing like him and you know it’

‘Mase-‘

‘When he left, who picked up the pieces and expected nothing in return, huh? It was me, yeah? It was me and I’ve looked after you and Gee like she was my own ever since just for you to tell me I’m the same as the scumbag that never deserved you? Who left at the first sign of a struggle. It was me that stepped up, me that took care of everything, of you, and you take every chance you get to tear me down’

‘Mase please’ you sobbed. Wanting him to calm down a bit so you could talk rationally but every word that came out of your mouth seemed to just wind him up more.

‘And now you wanna tell me you wanna be with me? You’ve known how I’ve felt about you this whole fucking time and you’d stayed silent. Why now huh? Why have you strung me along for so long? so I can babysit?’

‘That’s not it-‘

‘What is it then? I’m good with Gee and you think that’s all it takes for us to work? You didn’t say one thing about me, it was all about what I can give to you’ he carried on. Getting more wound up with each word that came out of his mouth and you had no idea how to stop him now.

‘Mason please, I got confused’ you whimpered and even though he’d stopped shouting you could see he wasn’t done yet. Expelling all the air from his lungs in a shaky breath before sliding his hands over his face and you wondered what he was about to hit you with next but to your surprise his voice was much quieter yet more emotional.

‘I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember y/n’ he croaked and you felt your heart shatter as his bottom lip wobbled. ‘Everytime i see you I can feel it and it’s torn me apart that you’ve never felt the same’

‘Thats what im trying to tell you though, i have, I do feel the same Mason, I just couldn’t tell you’

‘Why not ?’ He demanded, but you didn’t have an answer for him. Not a reasonable sounding enough one anyway but Mason was coming to his own conclusions as he looked at you. ‘Is this because I went on a date the other night?’

‘No-‘

‘It is, isn't it? You thought you had me wrapped around your finger but now you know i'm not you’re saying you like me so I don’t leave you’

‘Will you just stop-‘

You were cut off by your phone ringing in the side, looking down to see it was Ell and you knew you had to answer so you quickly cleared your throat before picking up in hopes you’d sound as normal as possible.

‘Hey Ell, everything okay?’

‘Yeah fine, I think little miss is getting tired though, I think it’s best you come get her’

‘Of course. I won’t be long, okay?’ You told her but before you’d even hung up Mason was already making his way to the door.

‘I’ll go, I need some air’ he told you, leaving before you could say anything else and once you were finally alone you let yourself fall to the sofa and let your emotions out properly.

Even in your worst case scenario in your head you never envisioned this happening. You figured he’d be somewhat confused and a but unsure at first but the pure rage coming from him was so out of character and you weren’t sure what the future held for the two of you now.

You knew Mason could tell you’d been crying when he got back. Placing Gee on the floor so she could run to you and you scooped her up and held her close whilst Mason shuffled uncomfortably at the door.

‘Listen, I’m gonna head off yeah. Let you put Gee to bed’ he nodded quietly and you felt your heart sink.

‘Oh’ you breathed, wondering why he didn’t want to stay and talk things through, especially after how upset you clearly were but you just nodded and placed Gee back on the floor. ‘Go say goodbye to Uncle Masey and we’ll get ready for a bath, yeah?’

Your heart broke as he placed little kisses all over her face, her giggles filling the hall as he told her he’d see her soon before nudging her back to you.

‘I’ll um, I’ll see you soon then’

‘Okay’ you whispered, unable to look at him so you picked Gee up and made your way up the stairs without another look at him. Your tummy dropping when you heard the door shut a few moments after and you knew he’d gone.

Gee was quiet as you got her bathed and ready for an early night. Not sure if it was because she was tired from the days events or she could tell you were upset but you were thankful that she wanted to go to sleep now even if she was being a little clingy. You stayed with her though until she was fully out but all you were thinking about was Mason and how you’d both move on from here.

That would have to wait for now though. All you could think about was the chocolate cake in your fridge that you’d saved for a moment alone so when you were certain Gee was definitely fast asleep, you gently kissed her head and made your way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

‘Fuck!’ You squealed. Hands clutching at your chest as your heart threatened to burst free. The sight in the corner of your eye making you do a double take before you were jumping out of your skin. ‘What the fuck, Mason’

‘Sorry’ he whispered. Standing by the fridge with his arms crossed over his body and you noticed he hadn’t looked directly at you once.

‘How did you get back in? I never heard you’ you asked, gulping to try and readjust your breathing as inconspicuously as you could but it didn’t really matter as his eyes were still trained on the floor.

‘I never left in the first place’ he told you and you realised that when you heard the door shut earlier he never actually left but had simply shut the door and waited downstairs for you.

He’d stayed for a reason, but you weren't quite sure if he knew what that was. Clearly he wanted to talk but right now he had his arms still crossed over his body and his head down as he looked at his shoes but you could tell he was chewing on his bottom lip which meant he was trying to keep his emotions in.

All you wanted to do was comfort him. Not sure if he wanted you close to him but you pushed that to the side and slowly made your way over to stand right in front of him.

He didn’t move a muscle, just kept his eyes down as you waited for him to look at you, but you knew he wouldn’t without a little encouragement so in the end you held him at his jaw and tilted his head up so he’d finally look at you. The tears welling in his eyes made your heart ache and all you wanted was to reassure him and let him know you were serious.

‘I’m so sorry, Mase’ you whispered, your tummy dropping as he shut his eyes and his tears spilled over. Wiping them away as quickly as you could before uncrossing his arms and placing them around your waist in hopes he’d hug you and once your arms were around his neck he pulled you in as close as he could.

‘I’m sorry for shouting at you’ he whispered. His voice full of tears as he spoke into your neck, but you just shook your head to let him know it was okay.

‘It’s okay, i probably deserved it’

‘No you didn’t, I just… I’m so confused’ he told you, peeling himself away so he could look at you properly and you hated the way he looked so vulnerable.

‘Shall we talk then? Talk properly and figure it all out?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you took his hand to lead him back into the living room so you could talk. The smell of your untouched coffees from earlier still hanging thick in the air as you tried to clear your mind of all the angry words he’d thrown your way not too long ago but you could tell he was in a completely different mind set now. The anger subsided and vulnerability in its place and you just prayed you could finally get your thoughts together and tell him how you felt properly.

‘I’m a bit nervous’ he chuckled. Making sure you were comfy on the sofa as he tucked you into his side and you smiled up at him as you were feeling the exact same.

‘Me too. I don’t really know where to start’ you laughed and even though he’d clearly calmed down and wanted to talk you still didn’t want to set him off again.

‘You said you heard me talking to Gee once? What did you hear?’ He asked quietly but he could see you were nervous to talk so he took your hand and squeezed it gently. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me. I’m not gonna have a strop again I promise’ he chuckled and you felt your shoulder relax.

‘It was when she called you dada for the first time and you told her you weren’t but you wished you were’ you whispered, watching him recall that moment in his head but thankfully he was still smiling softly. ‘That you loved us and that it hurt knowing I was your person but I didn’t see it’

‘I see’

‘That’s not when I realised my feelings had changed though’ you confirmed and you noticed his brows furrow in confusion.

‘When was it?’

‘When you stayed with us that week before you moved into your house and you told me I had to share you with Gee‘ you laughed. ‘It just slapped me in the face that I don’t want to share you with anyone. And then her second birthday party you were just perfect and it made me feel all this new things for you that I never had’

‘That was over a year ago, love. Why the change of heart? Why tell me now?’ He asked quietly and you could tell he was in a completely different headspace to earlier.

‘Cause you were right’ you wept, using your free hand to dry your eyes so you could carry on talking sensibly but you were finding it hard to hold it together. ‘I didn’t like the thought of you going on a date the other night and I almost called you the morning after thinking you were still with her in hopes I could ruin it but Ell stopped me. I know how it sounds, I know. But it’s not me messing you around or keeping you wrapped around my finger. I’ve just had enough of keeping things to myself when I know we could be happy together’

‘I just don’t get why you haven’t said something before. I thought we told each other everything’ he told you sadly and you knew you had to just be open with him.

‘I was scared’

‘Of what, love?’

‘That you’d react like you did’ you laughed and even though he was smiling back you could tell he was still feeling guilty about it all. ‘Plus when you were talking to Gee that one time you told her you’d try to move on and I didn’t want to make an idiot out of myself just in case you had’

‘All you had to do was tell me and I would have been yours from that very second’ he told you matter of factly but you didn’t like the way he was using the past tense.

‘Does that mean you won’t be now?’ You pouted. Eyes full of tears that you’d waited so long to come clean but he just smiled at you softly and pushed the hair out of your eyes so he could see you better.

‘Why do you think I'm here, love?’ He asked quietly but you just shrugged as you looked down to your lap. Tears spilling down your cheeks but he was quick to hook his finger under your chin and make you look at him again. ‘I think about you, and what we could have, every fucking day’ he whispered. ‘I’ve loved you since we were kids, that’s not something I can just throw away and move on from’

‘I know it’s taken me a while to realise it but I love you too, Mase. I really do’ You gulped. ‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and I’ve never felt how you make me feel before’

‘What do you mean?’ He asked. Trying to contain his smile at the fact you’d just told him you loved him but he needed more from you clearly.

‘When Jack left me… well I’d never felt so ugly in my whole life. I hated everything about myself you know, like no matter what I did I was never enough’ you told him. ‘But you’ve always made me feel beautiful’

‘That’s cause you were. You are beautiful, y/n. So so fucking beautiful’ he whispered as he pulled you further into his lap and you were so close now your noses were touching as you spoke.

‘I think there’s this part of me that’s felt like I’ve never deserved you. You’re you, you know? And I’m a mess. A single mum who’s just about getting by like what do I have to offer you?’

‘Don’t ever say that again’ he whispered. Cutting you off as he cupped your jaw and stroked your cheeky softly. ‘You deserve whoever you want and whoever makes you happy. And I know I will do everything I can every single day to make you happy’

‘I know you will, you already do. This last year has driven me insane’ you laughed. ‘I don’t know how you’ve done it for so many years’

‘Well they say If you love someone you set them free. And if it’s meant to be you’ll find your way back to each other. We always find our way back no matter what happens right? That's got to count for something’ he told you and before you knew it the ghost of your favourite cheeky smile was adorning his lips. ‘You try and put 240 miles between us and i will hunt you down’

‘Well when you say that…’ you laughed, trying to pull away from him as a joke but he was having none of it. Pulling you in even closer so he could kiss your cheek and the feel of his lips on your hot skin made you shiver.

‘I really am sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to go off like I did. I think I was just in panic mode and it’s been hard on me too. Like coming here and getting to play house with you sometimes but knowing I’d never get that happy ending was a lot but I still did it cause I’d take what I can get with you’ he confessed quietly. ‘That still doesn’t make it right though’

‘It’s okay, a lot of what you said earlier made sense but I need you to know I didn’t fall for you just because you’re good with Gee I promise’ you told him. ‘Even though you’ve stepped up and basically been her father figure without me asking you too. You know I’ll always be thankful for that’

‘Well I love the pair of you more than anything. And I get why me having a good relationship with Gee is so important to you’

‘It’s hard, being a mum and wanting to do right by your kids whilst also trying to have a bit of happiness for yourself’ you sniffed, not having spoken to him about this topic before but since you both seemed to be getting stuff off your chests you figured you’d go for it. Letting him wrap you up close to his chest so you could take in a breath of his relaxing scent before you continued. ‘Gee’s always been a big factor as to why I’ve held back with relationships cause as much as I want someone for myself, she’s my whole life, you know? She’s part of me and I’d never forgive myself for bringing someone into our bubble that could hurt us. So yeah, your relationship with Gee is huge for me cause I don't have to worry about that. You said it yourself earlier she’s basically yours and I don’t think I’ll every trust another man with her like I trust you with her’

‘And I promise you, you’ll never have to even think about trusting someone else okay? You guys are my family. Always have been always will be’ he told you softly and you had to pull back again to look at him as you missed his face already.

‘I’m sorry too though, for keeping it from you, and for comparing you to Jack a lot. I didn’t realise I was even doing it but now I do and I need you to know you’re nothing like him’ you told him tearily and you could see it all over his face how much that meant to him.

‘Thank you’ he whispered, tears still flowing down your cheeks that he gently wiped away and you could see from the frown on his face he didn’t like that you were so upset still. ‘Hey come on, please stop crying baby’ he whispered, the pet name making you smile wider than you had all evening as your tummy swarmed with butterflies. ‘I can’t kiss you again if you keep crying, and I really wanna kiss you right now’

‘You can still kiss me’ you chuckled. Letting him help wipe your cheeks so you didn’t look so upset and when he cupped your jaw you felt your heart flutter at what was about to happen.

If he was as nervous as you then he didn’t show it too much as he tipped your face up towards his. A small smile on his lips as his eyes flashed downward but you could see his pupils had dilated whilst his breathing had deepened but you couldn’t look for too much longer. Shutting your eyes just before his lips touched yours and you felt every nerve ending in your body sing. Your mind foggy as he carefully brushed his lips against yours but you felt whole for the first time in a long time.

‘I’ve waited ten years for that kiss’ he whispered. Lips ghosting yours as he peppered kisses to the corner of your mouth and back and you couldn’t stop giggling before he captured your lips once more.

‘Sorry it took so long’

‘Don’t be. I’d wait another ten, you know that right?’

‘I can’t believe I’ve been so blind this whole time’ you sniffed. Resting your hands on his chest as another wave of guilt hit you. ‘I’ve been so in my head about Jack and then trying to look after Gee and then the move. It’s like all I’ve been doing is trying to keep my head above the water but now I feel like I can take a breath and my visions cleared and you’ve been standing right under my nose this whole time’ you breathed, feeling him pull you closer into his body. ‘I’ve never told you enough how much I love you, like even just as friends. I know I was never great to you over the years and I’m just so sorry for how I’ve acted and how I’ve made you feel all this time. Kinda makes me wonder why you even still like me’ you giggled but just smiled as he rubbed his nose against yours.

‘Cause I don’t just like you, I’m in love with you. Good days, bad days and everything in between. Yes it’s been rough but even if I knew it would hurt as much as it has sometimes I would have still loved you like I do now’ he whispered. Tears springing to your eyes again but you were determined to keep them inside. ‘But I understand, my minds kinda blown and I don’t really get any of this either like when I woke up this morning this wasn’t on my bingo card’

‘Well I’ve been thinking about you for a while and Ell told me I had to be honest with you’

‘Yeah? What have you been thinking?’ He asked, clearly wanting to tease you even more and the prospect of saying divulging even more made you blush furiously as you tried to stutter out a response but he was quick to kiss your cheek and squeeze your sides. ‘You can just say you fancy me, it’s okay’

‘You’re unbelievable’ you laughed. Not being sure if you wanted to pull away or nuzzle in closer but you went for the latter in the end. Wrapping your arms around his neck to you could hold each other and you could feel yourself melting in his arms.

‘And you’re tired’ he whispered into your neck, making you laugh at the way he could read you so well. This whole evening had been exhausting but there was still so much you wanted to ask him. ‘Do you wanna head to bed?’

‘Only if you’re coming with me’

‘Of course’ he whispered, squeezing you tightly for a moment before pulling away and helping you to stand. ‘We can talk some more up there I just wanna be comfy’

You both got ready for bed fairly quickly and Mason was under the covers before you meaning he could warm it all up just as you liked. You’d shared a bed with Mason a few times over the years but this felt different, every other time he’d been basically fully clothed but this time he was just in his boxers and your mouth was watering at the view of his chest. He could tell you were a little bit nervous so he pulled the covers back and tucked you into his side just like normal. Your cheeks flaming as he held your jaw and kissed you again gently but your mind was still reeling with questions.

‘Can I ask you something, cause I feel like you never told me’ you asked as you pulled away from each other.

‘Yeah? Course you can’ he laughed tickling your side gently as you got settled on his chest, his skin warm against your own and after you’d nuzzled yourself into him a bit you were looking up at him with a smile.

‘Why did you pick United?’ You asked and you saw his cheeks redden a touch like he knew why you were asking.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

‘I’m just curious. There’s so many other clubs that were in for you’ you shrugged before settling your head back down but you noticed his heart rate had picked up slightly.

‘Why do you think I chose here?’

‘I don’t know’ you shrugged. Hoping if you played dumb and not accuse him he’d come out and tell you.

‘I mean I picked here cause I thought it would be the best fit for me but I can’t lie and say the thought of being closer to you wasn’t at the forefront of my mind’ he confessed quietly. Confirming what you sort of had always suspected and rather than scare him off you kept your head down and traced patterns on his chest gently to see if he’d elaborate.

‘Yeah?’

‘When you first told me you were moving, I was so crushed. I thought that was it, you know? Any shot of us ever being more than friends was gone but not even just that. You were so far away it’s like I wouldn’t know if you’re safe or not and it tore me apart that I couldn't protect you anymore. Especially you being up here when Gee was so little. So yeah, you being here made have made it on the list of pros for signing here’

‘It’s your life, mase. I would have never expected to be on your list for something that big’

‘You forget, you are my life. You and pickle are everything to me like even after you told me you didn’t want this I’ve still never been able to let you go. And maybe that sounds a bit pathetic but I just always knew deep down we’d get there one day’

‘Well here we are’ you laughed.

‘Here we are’ he smiled. Kissing your forehead gently before looking down at you with a coy smile. ‘Anything else I need to confess to? Come on, out with it’ he laughed, knowing you and more to say and you figured since he was on a roll you may as well ask no matter how insane you seemed.

‘When you said you date… like how often are we talking?’ You laughed. ‘Cause I had no idea no idea, you’ve never mentioned anything before so it was a bit of a shock’

‘I mean it wasn’t often, every now and then. I’m not all that good at dating I’d don’t think, seemed to just compare everyone to you’ he laughed, rolling his eyes a little bit. ‘But after you moved up here I was with someone for a few months’ he confessed and even thought it was over quite clearly you still felt a weird sinking feeling in your tummy.

‘Oh? Was it serious?’ You asked carefully but he just shrugged.

‘Could have been. But then I had to move and she wasn’t up for long distance so we decided to leave it. I think she kinda knew my feelings towards you too so that probably didn’t help but since moving up I’ve only been on like two dates including last weeks’

‘Does that make me your third time lucky’ you smiled. Your fingers gently tracing his ribs as he smiled back down at you and you couldn’t help but reach up to peck his lips gently.

‘No way, you’ve always been my number one’

‘Is that why you didn’t tell me?’

‘Sort of, I guess I was just holding out hope that you’d come round one day and I didn’t want you thinking I’d moved on from you even if you didn’t care that I had at the time. I didn’t even really want to tell you about last weeks but you’d figured it out and I couldn’t lie. I hope that doesn’t make you feel any differently about me’

‘Not at all. You’re a human Mase, and I wouldn’t expect you to wait for me if I was giving you nothing back. You don’t have to worry about that anymore though cause I wanna give you everything’

‘Oh yeah’ he grinned. His eyebrows wiggling suggestively but you just rolled your eyes as you tapped his chest.

‘Yeah. Like I fell for you because of how I feel when I’m with you and I wanna reciprocate that, you know? I want you to feel all the love you make me feel every single day’

‘I feel it, always have done’ he whispered but all you knew was that you wanted to give home more.

‘Well then buckle up cause you’re about to be overwhelmed’ you laughed. Cupping his jaw and kissing him again but this time he didn’t let you go. Chasing your lips when you went to pull away but it was his hand that was on your lower back that was begging to explore your skin that made your heart race even faster. Gasping into his mouth as he gave your bum a cheeky squeeze and you both pulled away breathless before anyone took things any further.

‘I can’t believe I get to kiss you now. 15 year old me is losing his mind’ he chuckled, pecking your cheek as you both got your breath back. ‘If you wanna be my third time lucky you’re gonna have to let me take you out on a date then’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, of course. How about this, Lew is coming up next week so he can make a start on some Christmas stuff, why don’t I ask if he can have Gee for an evening and I’ll take you out. I’ve been planing this in my head for years so all you need to do is turn up’

‘Yeah?’ You laughed, loving the excited expression on his face but you were just as excited to get to experience whatever he was dreaming up for the pair of you.

‘As long as you don’t spit pasta in my eye’ he winked and you knew that was a promise you could most definitely keep.

🤍Four Years Later🤍

‘Gee! You ready to go baby?’ You called, standing by the door with her bag and everyone else’s belongings.

‘Coming!’ She shouted. Her footsteps bounding down the stairs suddenly and as you looked to your left, she was running up besides you with a big smile on her face.

‘I’m gonna put all your stuff in the car, okay pickle?.’

‘Where’s daddy?’ She questioned, not wanting to leave without him clearly but you just smiled and stroked the top of her head.

‘He’s coming baby, don’t worry’ you reassured her and she gave you a quick nod to let you know she understood.

‘Right that’s all locked up out back, just need to do the front. We ready?’ Mason smiled, rounding the corner from the kitchen before his eyes were on you. A cheeky and excited look on his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist and even though you two were excited, you were full of nerves at what you were about to do. ‘You okay love?’

‘I’m nervous’ you giggled. ‘I can’t believe we’re finally going’

‘I always promised we would, didn’t I?’

‘You did’ you whispered smiling up at him before he dropped a soft kiss to your lips.

‘Which one are you taking?’ Mason asked. Looking over to Gee who had a protective hand on the handle of the car seat which made your heart thump in your chest.

‘You take Gee and lock up, I’ll get Leo in the car’ you smiled and with another quick kiss to your lips Mason had picked gee up and was stuffing her into a hoodie so she wasn’t cold.

‘Come on little man, let’s get you all strapped in, yeah?’ You cooed. Watching Leo giggle as you tickled his tummy.

Leo was around 10 months old now and he was the apple of Masons eye. You still remember the look on Masons face when you told him you were expecting and even though it was a bit of a shock, it was something the pair of you had spoken about often and you knew he was waiting to hopefully give Gee a sibling.

When you’d first booked this trip, the pair of you had no idea about Leo even existing. His arrival making you question if you should postpone the trip you’d always dreamed of but Gee was already excited and with Leo being such a calm little guy you figured you should just go for it and finally live your dream.

‘Hey mate, you all ready to go?’ Mason asked him sweetly. Coming up behind you as you’d finally got him sat in the car all strapped in and that was all it took for Leo to send him a bright gummy smile. He was such a happy baby but he always reserved his biggest smiles for his daddy.

‘Daddy! Come on!’ Gee suddenly called from the seat in the back next to Leo. Clearly getting frustrated you hadn’t left yet but Mason just playfully rolled his eyes as he smiled down at you.

‘She gets that from you, you know’ he winked. Dropping a heavy kiss on your lips before bending down to talk to Gee. ‘Oi you, I’ll throw you with the lions when we get there if you’re not careful’ he teased but Gee was giggling soon after as he began to hype her up about the trip and get her excited, behaving like he was your third child.

‘Come on, we best head off’ you laughed. Pulling his arm so he’d look at you and the smile on his face made your heart flutter. ‘You sure you got everything?’

‘Got all my people, that’s all I need’ he beamed. Cupping your jaw and kissing you deeply to the point you knees went weak.

‘I can’t believe we're actually doing this, it’s like my biggest dreams coming true. I know I’ve said it a million times but thank you. I love you so much, dimples’ you smiled and it was worth it to watch the blush creep over his cheeks like always when you called him that.

‘I love you, too’ he whispered. Squeezing your sides softly as he kissed you again. ‘But what have I told you about calling me dimples?’

‘Doesn’t matter what you say, your face says it all’ you whispered. Knowing how much he complained about the nickname you’d given him shortly after you’d finally gotten together, but you just didn’t believe him. Watching the way he’d turn into a blushy mess each time told you he secretly loved it and you loved making Mason feel good. ‘Come on then, before Gee loses the plot’

‘Your chariot awaits Mrs Mount’

‘Easy, I’m not Mrs Mount yet’ you laughed, tapping his chest and even though it was something you’d spoken about, Mason was yet to pop the question.

‘It’s only a matter of time’ he whispered. Kissing your head before he let you go and get in the car but it was only when you were out of sight that he checked his pocket for a very important piece of cargo. The small black box felt huge between his fingers but he couldn’t think of a more perfect time for him to ask the girl of his dreams to be his wife than on the trip of her dreams with their two babies in tow. Finally getting to be the family the both of you had always dreamed of.

y/n

liked by masonmount, ell_197, lukeshaw23 and others

y/n wild and free… but not for long 😌 it’s always been a dream of mine to come here but i never imagined just how special it could be. The easiest yes I’ve ever had to say 🤍

masonmount the easiest question I’ve ever had to ask 😏 I love our little family so much ❤️

y/n I love you more, dimples 🥰

masonmount 🙄

ell_197 it’s about damn time guys!!! So so excited for you, congratulations 🥳 🩷 I knew this trip would be special for you girly but who knew just how much 🥺

masonmount yeah I’ve left it a little late huh 😂

y/n he’s lucky he’s cute 🤭 can’t wait to start planning with you Ell! 🩷

lukeshaw23 he finally did it huh 😂 he’s been talking to me about it for months. Thank you for saying yes so he doesn’t have to come and live with me!

y/n why do I feel like you’re saying this because you actually want thank you happen 😂

Mummy_y/n oh I’m over the moon. I remember watching you two growing up and knowing you’d be in each other lives for a very long time. So glad you’ve found your soulmate baby girl 🩷

y/n Mumma 🥺 he’s been here this whole time I’m just glad I finally saw 😭

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[guess-my-next-obsession]

the alchemy | i. the return (joel’s pov)

pairing: no outbreak!dbf!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter rating: Mature [18+ only, minors dni, dbf/secret relationship, age gap (joel is 34, reader is 24), just joel pining in secret, mention of cheating (past relationship), one mention of joel fantasizing about a blowjob]

summary: joel takes us through his inner monologue the day of reader’s return.

wc: 1k

the masterlist

She was back.

The woman who’d starred in every depraved fantasy I’d had since the day I met her had made her return to Austin, this time to stay.

I’d been mentally preparing for our reunion for weeks now, ever since her father let the news slip. I told myself that this time I’d finally be done with my little crush on the woman nearly a decade younger than me, but I knew how this story went.

Every time she came home to visit during her breaks from school, I told myself the exact same bullshit. And every time I came face to face with her, it all went to hell again. All she had to do was walk into a room, and I was back to secretly pining over her like a lovesick boy.

This time was no different.

When her and her dad pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I was already sweating. When she stepped out in those denim cutoffs, I’d melted completely.

She was the type of beautiful that required no frills to make a man fall to his knees. She could wear a burlap sack and I’d have no choice but to believe she was nothing less than a goddess.

I tried not to let my tongue wag too much as she walked over to Sarah, hugging her tight and complimenting her on her new braids. Her dad offered me a bit of distraction as he complained about needing to change out the brake pads on his truck, but even that wasn’t enough to tear my eyes away from her. From the woman I knew he’d never approve of me being with.

I couldn’t say I’d do any different if it was my own daughter in question.

When her eyes met mine, I felt the need to justify my ogling with a greeting.

“Welcome home,” I said, instead of what I longed to say—things that would’ve earned me a punch in the gut from her dad.

She mumbled a thanks in response, but seemed entirely disinterested in any further conversation with me. So I let it end there as we walked into the mexican spot that was apparently her favorite, according to her dad. I made a mental note of this new information. For what reason, I had no clue. It wasn’t like I’d ever be taking her out.

She avoided me at all costs throughout dinner, leaving me with no choice but to coax her into paying me some attention by asking her if she was still interested in babysitting. It was a genuine enough question. Sarah did need someone to look after her over the summer, and the last babysitter just never managed to click with her the way that she had. But I’d be lying if I said that it was strictly business, my asking.

When she said yes, my heart all but leapt out of my chest with relief. If she had said no, I would’ve had no excuse to see her, no excuse to talk to her.

I watched with greedy eyes as she sipped her drink through a straw, her lips wrapping around the bit of plastic. I instinctively licked my lips as she pulled away, swiping her tongue over her lips to collect the bit of lime-flavored liquor that coated them.

God, that mouth.

I’d thought about it almost every night. Even when I was with Mia, my ex, it was her I imagined. Those plump lips wrapping around me, working me until I came. And as horrible as it was to say, I never felt guilty about the fantasy. Especially now, knowing that the entire time, Mia had been having her own fun on the side.

I couldn’t imagine that the girl in front of me would hurt anyone in that way, and that drew me towards her all the more. She was so kind, so good that it hurt. I hoped whoever she had been with in the past had treated her with the same sort of respect that I dreamed of giving her, but I knew all too well what it was like to be a twenty-something year old boy. They’d likely not even noticed the gem that they held in the palm of their hands.

At the end of dinner, she gave Sarah a thorough goodbye, promising to come over the next day for a swim. I thanked God that it was a weekend, that I’d be home to catch a glimpse of her.

When I stepped over to tell her goodnight, she blew me off completely. I tried not to let the rejection sting. I had no reason to feel slighted, to feel disappointed, but it cut through me nonetheless.

Her dad muttered an apology, saying that she was likely just tired from a long day of unpacking, and I let myself believe him. It was better than thinking that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Even if I knew it was true.

Why else would she have agreed to go out with Tommy last summer? And according to him, the date went well. He refrained from spilling all the details, but from what he let on, I could’ve only assumed it ended with her in his crumb-filled sheets. It took me weeks to get the image out of my head, to be able to look my brother in the eye again.

Maybe one of these days I’d ask her about it myself. I wouldn’t let on that I disapproved of the two of them being together, either. Instead, I’d play the role of a nosy older brother who simply just wanted to know whether his brother was treating her right, or if he was fucking things up like he so often liked to do when a good woman entered his life.

But truthfully, it didn’t matter what the two had going on. She could hate him or love him, I didn’t care.

My crush was here to stay.

Even if I had no chance in the world with her.

[theonlyhonoredone]

Love You Like No Tomorrow

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: The story of how you and Satoru got married

Masterlist

It was the middle of summer when Satoru raised the question. A bored evening, the two of you were sitting on the balcony sharing some strawberry cake. He had been staring at you for a while, obviously deep in thought. You let him play with whatever was in his mind until you reached the last bite of dessert, finally deciding to ask him what he was thinking about. He’d looked at you very seriously for a long time before finally answering.

“I want to marry you,” he stated.

You nearly choked, your eyes growing wide in surprise, “Excuse me?”

“I want to marry you,” he repeated, “Not some big wedding thing, just you and I. I want you to be my wife.”

“I-” you paused because while the idea wasn’t unwelcome he had totally blindsided you, “Why are you bringing this up now? Did something happen?”

He had a bad habit of burying his problems. Often refusing to speak about something until he was on the verge of breaking.

“Nah, I was just staring at you and you’ve got these crumbs on the side of your mouth,” he reached over to wipe them with his thumb, “And I was thinking about how cute you look like that and then I thought, who thinks someone looks cute with a bunch of crumbs on their face? Must be because I’m in love with you, and I already knew that but I was just thinking if I already wanna be with you forever and you obviously feel the same way why don’t we just get married already?” He licked his thumb and leaned back, propping his hands behind his head. “I don’t wanna wait anymore, I wanna do it right now.”

You couldn’t help laughing, “Who says I feel the same way?”

He turned to you with a big smile, “Don’t play coy, I’ve got you whipped.”

“I believe it’s the other way around, actually.”

“It goes both ways, how about that?” 

You nodded in agreement, “Okay, fine, we’re both whipped and we wanna be together forever.”

Your eyes danced over the Tokyo skyline as you let his proposition sink in. It was surprising, Satoru loved to be the center of attention so you couldn’t imagine he’d pass up the chance to have some big flashy wedding. That wasn’t something you’d want, it always seemed more romantic to you to confess your deepest feelings in private. When you declared your undying love for Satoru you wanted him to be the only one to hear it. Really thinking about it made you realize how much you hated the idea of some big ceremony. Months or even years of planning, all the anxiety and anticipation of making everything perfect. Then having to share all your deepest feelings in front of a big crowd. Plus with Satoru’s status in the Jujustu world it’d inevitably become some sort of political ordeal.

“You’re okay with us just running off to do this? No party, no big celebration, nothing?” You questioned him to make sure he was really sure about it before you agreed.

He grabbed his chin, rubbing it as the scenario passed through his mind. “Yeah, I mean a party would be fun, but I don’t wanna wait all that time. We can plan some party later, oh and a honeymoon, we gotta have one of those,” he nodded as he imagined all the locations you could go, “But the actual marriage part, I don’t need that to be for anyone but us. If you want that stuff though, we can wait.”

“I don’t want it, actually I kind of hate the idea of it all,” you confessed. “It seems stressful, I’d rather it just be us.”

His eyes widened excitedly and he leaned forwards in his chair, just barely sitting on it’s edge. “Let’s go do it now then! We can go to one of those drive-thru places! It’ll be fun, and then we can go on a mini honeymoon tomorrow!”

You laughed at his excitement, “Well I at least want a white dress Toru, and I want you to wear a suit. Why don’t we plan it for this weekend or something?”

“Nah, I wanna do it tonight! If you want to get dressed up we can,” he dug into his wallet and passed you a card, “We’ll go get you a dress and me a suit and then we can head over! We can go right at sunset!”

The excitement in his big blue eyes was too overwhelming for you to deny him so you nodded and let him hoist you out of your chair. You rushed over to the shopping district you frequented and gave yourselves both an hour to get ready. You found the perfect little white dress, it hugged you just right and you found yourself getting emotional in the fitting room. Off the shoulder with long sleeves, hitting you just above the knee, pretty feathers wrapping around the collar and top of the sleeves. It was simple elegance, paired with a pair of sweet kitten heels it really made you feel like a bride. You swiped the dress and changed into it right away, having to run back to the car to meet Satoru in time. He had found himself a deep blue suit and paired it with a baby blue button up and some black formal shoes. He looked incredibly handsome, his eyes no longer hidden by the sunglasses he’d worn on the way there. 

“You’re beautiful,” he wrapped his arms around you and spun you around with a big smile.

“So are you,” you cooed back at him, stealing a quick kiss. “Are we really gonna do this?”

He nodded, “Obviously, come on I even got you this,” he presented you with a jewelry box which made you gasp.

“How did you have the time…” you trailed off as he opened the box, revealing it to be totally empty inside. “That’s mean Toru!”

He laughed and tossed the box into the back seat, “I didn’t actually have time, that’s just an old box. I got you this though,” he pulled a candy ring from his pocket, making you burst into a fit of laughter, “It’ll have to do for now alright?”

You nodded and presented your hand to him, “Come on, you’re supposed to put it on me.”

“Not yet, you have to wait until we actually get married,” he winked and opened the car door for you, “Come on pretty.”

You grinned as you buckled yourself in, the candy ring seated in your lap as Satoru sped through the city. You were both laughing the whole time, grinning like idiots as you pulled into the drive-thru. Satoru explained excitedly that you wanted to get married right now because you were madly in love. You two were told to sign some papers and they offered you a veil for the photos. A man dressed as a priest led you through a quick ceremony and simple vows. Satoru slid his candy ring onto your finger and dipped you back as dramatically as he could for your first kiss. A young giggling girl took a million pictures and babbled about how cute she thought you were. In the end you left with a bundle of printed out pictures of the two of you and a real marriage license. 

“I can’t believe it,” you gripped the license as Satoru drove you back towards your home, “This is like, for real Satoru. We actually are married.”

He took your hand and kissed the candy ring on your finger, “It’s not real until we consummate it.”

Laughter bubbled up from your chest once again, “Shut up perv.”

“Hey, that’s no way to speak to your husband,” he teased.

“Well you shouldn’t be acting like a perv Toru, you’re a married man you know?”

He was smiling ear to ear, “That’s even more reason for me to be a perv don’t you think? Now that I’ve got the prettiest wife in the whole world, I mean how can I be expected to keep my hands off my pretty, perfect wife?”

“I don’t know, I can’t keep mine of my handsome, strong husband,” you took one of his hands in yours. “So I guess you’ve got a point there.”

When you got home Satoru carried you to your room and tossed you onto the bed. You spent your night rolling around in the sheets, giving in every single time Satoru asked for just one more. How could you even deny such a doting husband after all? You worked yourselves until you were exhausted, falling asleep tangled up together with your bedroom looking like it’d been hit by a hurricane. Even when the morning came you didn’t care to clean up, instead opting to spend your makeshift honeymoon tucked into your big bed together sucking on your candy ring.

[ameliathornromance]

Are you the Final Girl?

Slasher!Orc X Reader

Chapter 2

Masterlist <--- Check for TWs

The rest of the day went without incident, despite the bubbling anger in your stomach.

You didn’t speak to Jennifer, Jack or Sydney for the rest of the day and turned your phone off the moment more of those horrible texts started coming in from your Instagram. You never read them anymore, they were all along the similar lines of ‘you’re awful, why don’t you just die.’

Classes passed by quickly and before you knew it, they were over. As you left the lecture hall, you turned on your phone. As soon as it had loaded in, your phone was a buzz with texts from your acquaintances. They were mostly from Jennifer.

She was begging for you to talk, to arrange a time to call so she could explain herself. A part of you was inclined to tell her no, that she needed to sort her own shit out before she spoke to you again.

But, your long history together is what made you believe you should text her back.

So, you did. There had to be some kind of explanation for this, right? Malike was a quiet kind guy, he’d never so much as hurt a fly. Maybe there was some other reason that Jennifer had taken such a strong dislike to him. You had never heard her talk badly about other creatures on Campus before, let alone Orcs.

You called Jennifer the moment you got back to your dorm room.

“Hey.” You said, as Jennifer picked up the phone.

“Hey.” She said back. Her voice held a resigned tone, as if she was a scolded child. “Listen, I… just wanted to say sorry about what I said earlier.”

You fought the urge to tell her that it isn’t you she should be apologising to. But Malike, who most likely overheard her in the park.

“...I never told you this before,” She continued as you set your bags down beside your desk. “But I grew up in the same town as Malike. Everyone knew him.”

“Really?” This surprised you. But when you thought about it, it did make sense. You met Malike and Jennifer at the same time, since they were standing beside each other and talking to each other in quiet toned voices.

“Hmhm… I knew he was a nice guy and everything, but there were… rumours back home.” Jennifer’s voice became hushed, as if she was worried she may be overheard. “That Malike liked to pull apart bugs as a kid. Like spiders and things like that… but he was a child, and kids do weird things like that right?”

“Of course,” you agreed.

“Well, according to some people I knew at home, when he was a teenager, apparently Malike had strangled a squirrel with his barehands… and that he’d had a smile on his face the whole time. His mum caught him doing it.”

Your eyes widened. “Are you serious Jen?”

“Yeah. That’s why I was a freaked out when you rejected him. I knew it had been a long time since any of that stuff happened, but I didn’t know what he was going to do. If he’d happily kill a squirrel… then who knows what he’d do to another person.”

“Why were you hanging out with him on the first day if you knew this?” You asked.

“Well, I didn’t want to believe any of the rumours, so I thought I’d get to know him. But… I don’t know, when you told me he asked you out, all that gossip I heard came flooding back to me and I felt like I had to get him away from you.” Jennifer explained.

You looked over your shoulder, as if there was a presence standing behind you. “Does anyone else know about this?” You thought of Jack’s harsh words about Orcs too.

“No. Just me and him, most likely.”

“I… I didn’t realise he did any of that stuff.” You admitted, lamely. “But, you can’t just brandish all Orcs with the same brush like that.”

“I’m sorry about that too. I had no idea what I was thinking when I said that. Malike’s mum’s an Orc and she’s so nice. She used to do charity bake sales and everything when we were younger. I don’t know how Malike turned out to be so creepy.” Jennifer’s voice shuddered through the phone.

“Well, thank you for the explaining.” You said, truthfully. “I had no idea about that stuff Malike did as a kid. That’s psychopathic behaviour.”

“Definitely. So, you’ll stay away from him from now on, right?”

You hesitated. Jennifer sounded like she was telling the truth and, you really didn’t want to believe that she would lie about something so serious as animal cruelty just to get you to believe her.

And if she wasn’t lying about what Malike did as a kid, then you could get yourself into a lot of trouble if he ends up approaching you again. Perhaps it is best to stay away from him.

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for telling me Jen.”

“Okay, good.” A sigh of relief breathed down the phone. “I’ve got to get going to my night class now. They want us to go to a runway show to see how the make up gets done on models in a rush, so I’ll probably be sleeping in late tomorrow okay?”

“Alright. Have fun Jen.”

“Will do, sleep well (Y/N), goodnight.”

And with that, you hung up the phone. You bit your lip.

Malike didn’t have any other hidden tenancies like that… did he?

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[captain-mj]

Just SoapGhost being healthy and shit. Ghost is open about his problems with intimacy and touch and they work through it.

Ghost sat across from Soap, watching him silently. He was beautiful. Kind. Fierce. Everything he looked for in a partner. 

Their date had been perfect. Soap picked a restaurant He thought they’d both like and he’d been a stupid fucking gentleman, even going so far as to request a secluded booth for privacy. 

Ghost tapped his fingers against the table, feeling very nervous. This was a first date. He didn’t have to bring this up. But if he waited, it would hurt more for both of them. Especially if Soap couldn’t handle it. 

“Johnny.”

Soap paused his chatter to look at him. “Simon. Don’t use your serious voice right now. I got other plans after this! You can’t end the date so soon!”

Ghost smiled at him softly. “No. I don’t want the date to end.” He sat back. “Its something else. I just… don’t want to lead you on.”

Soap frowned. “What do you mean?”

Ghost tapped his fingers for another second, surprisingly having to gain the courage to say this. “If we never had sex, do you think you could handle it?” He refused to look at Soap. 

“I… I don't know. I guess I hadn't thought about it. Is it the mask thing? We can find work arounds. I'm okay with whatever makes you comfortable.” Soap reached over and grabbed Ghost’s hand. “Whatever boundaries You need.” It was so sweet. It made it harder for Ghost to push but he knew it wasn’t fair to let Soap have some… misconception. 

“Its not the mask. Johnny, I’d take the mask off for you right now if we were alone. I have… issues. Let’s leave it at that for now.”

“Don’t tell me you can’t get it up. I’m just fine topping.” Soap joked, clearly trying to lighten the mood but also make it clear that wouldn’t bother him. 

Ghost took Soap’s hand and kissed it softly. “Intimacy. Its the touch. I wish it was that easy. I could pop a fucking pill and ignore it. The mask is part of it, but Johnny, a lot of… horrible things happened to me. And some of them.” Ghost cut himself off at the horrified expression on Soap’s face

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. Trust me I don’t believe you’ll try it or anything. I know you’re not an idiot. But… touch is hard for me. You’re an exception. Usually. But what happens when its more than just your hands? When there’s no clothes between us? No buffers. I’d love to believe I’m fine. That it’ll be easy. But it won’t. I’ll have to initiate things. Put up boundaries.”

Soap was quiet, clearly mulling over his words. “Do you not want to try at all?” It was light. Purposely devoid of tone so Ghost couldn’t detect anything. He hated that Soap could pull that off. For a man so open, it was an unexpected talent. 

“I want to try. Just… if i never get there, i don’t want you to have wasted your time.”

Soap softened. “No time with you is wasted.” 

Ghost sighed. “You’re so sweet. It’s complicated. I just didn’t want you to go into this thinking it would be easy.”

“Never easy with us, Lt. But I’ll get it figured out.” Soap smiled at him. 

~~~

The very first time they properly touched each other was Ghost initiated, just as they talked about. His hand went to Soap’s back as he was talking to someone. They were just getting a bit close and he decided he needed to do something about it. 

The moment he was touching Soap’s, the man basically purred and the unwanted pest trying to catch Soap’s attention quickly got the message. Ghost rubbed his thumb in circles as Soap melted into him. When the man left, Ghost gently pulled his hand away, not missing that Soap tried to follow. 

~~~

Their first kiss was messy. It was mid mission. And it occurred to Ghost that their situation had suddenly gotten so much dire than expected. 

The hood he was wearing, along with the blades, made him look scarier than he was. But not to Soap. Never to Johnny, who kept smiling at him even when everyone else seemed to panic. 

Ghost knew he needed to do this. An epiphany of sorts. 

“Everyone stare at the damn wall.” He barked and people scrambled. Soap went to as well but he stopped him. Ghost gently turned him towards him and, with as little thinking as he could manage, worried he’d talk himself out of it, he kissed him through the mask. It wasn’t the best. If he could, he would’ve taken it off, but they didn’t have time. 

Soap froze in his arms before eagerly pressing back as much as he could. His arms went up to his biceps and he squeezed tight. “What was that for?”

“Just… in case.”

Soap nodded solemnly before grinning wildly. “Let’s go get him.”

That night, when they were done with the mission, Ghost took his mask off and gave Soap a proper kiss. It got no farther, they just kept kissing, hands barely touching each other. Soap’s kept hovering right over Ghost’s shoulders, holding just a hint of apprehension. 

Ghost didn’t reassure him. 

~~~

Holding hands came after. For some reason. Somehow it was easier for Ghost to kiss rather than touch hands. 

Soap’s hand wormed over to him, sitting between them now. His hand just barely brushed against Ghost’s thigh and he jumped so hard he almost rattled the table. Soap went to pull away but Ghost caught him by his wrist, gently tugging him closer until he sat his hand in his lap. Carefully, with the same care taken for defusing a bomb, Ghost tangled their fingers together. Even through his gloves, he could feel his warmth. 

It felt uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be touching right now. But like usual, Soap was… better than anyone else. And he could put up for it if it meant Johnny kept smiling like that.

~~~

Sex. 

Fuck. 

Ghost had… agreed to try. Soap had simply asked him what their plans for the night were when he informed him of this. He had blushed bright red and just nodded. 

Ghost was regretting all of this when he actually stood in his own bedroom. 

Soap smiled at him reassuringly. “What do you want to keep on? Let’s start there.”

“Everything.”

“Okay. You can just undo your pants for now. And what would you like me to take off?”

Ghost swallowed and thought about it for a minute. “All of it. Take off everything.”

Soap’s breath caught and he slowly started to strip down, maintaining eye contact the entire time. He was gorgeous. Nice, tight body. Broad shoulders and so much tanned skin. 

Ghost took a deep breath and slowly let it all out. It was just Johnny. Just him. 

“What do you want from me, Si?” Johnny asked softly, his body already happily reacting. Despite what Ghost was seeing as the most awkward encounter of his life, Soap was achingly hard. “I’d do anything for ya. You know that.” 

Ghost reached for him, gloves abandoned at the very least. Soap’s body was… very responsive. He jerked and his breathing would catch and just a small brush against his chest had Soap’s nipples hard. His thumb rubbed against one and Soap tried to press into him. 

Ghost pushed him on to the bed and gently used his hands to stroke him. He could tell Soap was a little disappointed it was just his hands but he just needed a minute to psych himself up for more. Soap moaned softly as he kept stroking him. 

“Feels good, sir. Feels so good.”

Ghost’s head started to swim. He was hard. He could tell physically he was enjoying but mentally, he felt miles away. 

There was blood. Had to be. He was bleeding and hurt and someone else was gonna hu-

Soap grabbed his hoodie and pulled him closer. “I love you, Simon.” 

Ghost was taken back by that but he pulled up his mask and kissed him. They settled into a rhythm as Ghost continued to stroke him. He grabbed one of Soap’s hands and pulled it under his shirt so Soap could feel his abs. Soap cursed and squeezed him.  

“I love you so much. I love you. So much.” Soap promised as he kissed his lips and down his chin. “You’re beautiful.”

Ghost wanted to sob for some reason. But god did he love Soap. He pulled his mask completely off and started to kiss down his chest. Soap’s hands tangled in his hair instead, gently tugging. 

Ghost pulled away, feeling his cock strain against his pants. He pinned him down and stroked him faster, finding himself rutting against Soap’s thigh. So good… Fuck so good.

They kissed and tangled themself together further. Soap’s hand found it’s way to his belt he undid it and slipped it off. He reached into Ghost’s pants and as soon as he touched him, all thoughts flew out the window. It was just them. 

Ghost didn’t last very long. He was a bit embarrassed so he just focused on Soap. Tentatively, he licked a stripe up Soap’s cock and his lover followed immediately, coming all over his chest. His face was flushed and he bit his lip to keep any sounds in. Ghost could feel how tense he was beneath him as he finished. 

“I love you, Johnny.”

He got a short affirmative in response. 

[rendy-a]

Hey, um hi! I'm new here, nice to meet you, sorry I'm a bit awkward with requests

So, Could we have some of the Self aware AU with Idia and Sebek? It can be whatever you want, a headcanon or a mini one shot, whichever you prefer more^^

Thank you ahead!

~~~🌟🎃

The interesting thing with Self Aware AU is that you can write it like the game characters are aware of you as you play or you can write where the player is isekai’d into the game and everyone knows about it.  Last time, I had written it in the perspective of playing the game irl.  I thought this time, I’d write it as though the player was somehow drawn into the game.  Hope you enjoy it. 

Remember, the Self-Aware AU is a yandere AU!

When you’d awoken inside your favorite phone game…well, you’d freaked out.  But then!  You’d made one rule; never mention the game to any character.  It was just strange.  Plus, you weren’t sure how they’d react!  It was a rule you’d managed to follow, until today.

You, like the character Yuu in your game, were a first-year student at NRC.  As much as you’d liked to have avoided all the game characters to prevent triggering any dangerous events, you shared class with Ace and Deuce (plus lived with Grim).  Over time, you’d been pulled into lunches and joint classes with all the first-year students.  Thankfully, the first-year students weren’t where the problem was.  That was with the Housewardens and you avoided them in every situation possible.  You were relieved that the plot of the game had you living in such a remote dorm and excused you from attending any sort of club activities. 

And yet, you sometimes wished you would meet the characters.  It would be so cool to talk to your favorites, see them in actual real life!  Only, you were also pretty sure the minute you came face-to-face, you’d say something embarrassing or stupid.  Like you did when you met Ace and Deuce.  You still cringe when you remember calling them the ‘single braincell duo’ to their faces.  Yes, it was probably for the best that you took isolated halls to class to avoid the seniors.  You wouldn’t want to turn the corner and ACK!

You rolled over from where you’d fallen and gazed up to see who or what you’d collided with.  You recoiled in horror as nebulous blue flames made patterns across your vision.  “What kind of ridiculous anime situation is this.  Real people should look at where they are going in the hall.  This place needs a mini-map to avoid NPC’s like this.  I can’t believe on the one day I have to attend class in person some extrovert is lurking in my quiet hallway…”  He hadn’t looked up from where he’d fallen but you could tell in an instant that you’d triggered some rare event and encountered a wild Idia.

You spend this small moment wondering if you should pretend to know him or not.  He’s a Housewarden, so you should probably know who he is, right?  But at the same time, he never leaves Ignihyde, so how would you know him?  Maybe you should pretend to not know him.  “It’s you,” a small voice interrupts your dilemma.  You look up at Idia in surprise only to find a matching expression of surprise on his face.  Then his mouth parts slightly and a string of words emerges.  “What should I do?  I didn’t prepare for this event.  I’m not ready to meet my Oshi in person.  How do I trigger the correct dialog option here?  I’m going to get a death flag; I just know it…”

He says a lot of things, but one thing catches your attention: Oshi.  Were you somehow Idia’s favorite?  That can’t be, right?  You let out a giggle at the absurdity of the situation.  Idia’s eyes grow large, and he shrinks back at the sound, started to hear it coming from your mouth.  “Don’t be so nervous Idia.  Nothing bad is going to happen,” you say softly.  When you speak to him, Idia loses control of himself and starts talking rapidly, “Of course!  If the Player says so, then it is so.  They are so amazing, like limited SSR class amazing.  I don’t deserve to even be in their presence.  They are probably thinking, who is this gloomy weirdo with the fire hair?  Why is he dressed so strange, he probably doesn’t have any fashion sense.” 

“That’s not true!” you shout, “I remember when your Ghost Marriage card came out!  Oh my gosh!  It looked so cool!  It was totally my favorite card.  I had to pull 200 times to get it!”  Then you abruptly stop, realizing you’ve said too much when Idia’s hair turns completely pink.  “I…I’m just going to go,” you say as you cover your face in embarrassment and walk back around the corner the way you had arrived.

The students of Ignihyde gave Idia a wide berth as he returned to the dorm.  No one dared approach him while his hair flickered so violently from gentle pink to blazing red.  Idia himself seemed entirely unaware of the bizarre show he was putting on.  He continued mumbling and giggling to himself all the way back to his room.  When he finally found the solitude of his inner sanctuary, he jumped on his bed and hugged his Player-print body pillow.  “Hee Hee Hee!” he laughs out loud for no one to hear but himself.  “I did it.  I meet my Oshi!”  Then he rolls over onto his back and stares dreamily into the ceiling, “They knew who I was.  That must mean something.  Maybe, this is fate?” 

There was only one rule all the inhabitants of Twisted Wonderland had; don’t interfere with the Player.  It was a rule he’d managed to follow, until today.  Today, Fate intervened.  If Fate wanted you two to be together, who was Idia to argue?  As he stared at the ceiling, Idia’s engineering brain went into gear planning designs for a place he could take you where no one else could reach.  A place where you’d finally be alone, with only him.  Just like Fate had planned.

Over time, you’d noticed that the residents of Twisted Wonderland treated you differently.  You remembered the first time you heard Crowley tell the aggravated student body he’d assigned weekend cleaning duty to all students to clean up the campus for their use…because he was so kind.  While all around you, students started grumbling, you’d burst out laughing.  When everyone had started looking at you, you’d choked off your laugh and covered your face.  “Sorry, he just…he said the thing,” you managed to get out between smothered chuckles. 

No one ever called you out on your strange behavior.  It was like they all collectively got together and decided that you were allowed to behave in any way you chose.  They, on the other hand, often seemed to struggle with deciding if they should act normally in your presence or not.  The number of times you’d slipped into a room of rowdy students to have the conversation cut off into a silent awe was alarming.  Today was just another example.

You’d gotten back after a class and lay in your bed, bored.  You’d think that being pulled into your favorite game would give you endless entertainment but, after a time, it just settled into being exactly like school in your world.  The only difference is you occasionally went out looking for locations or characters in the game, like a sort of anime pilgrimage.  Sometimes, you’d been caught in awkward situations, but you’d just sort of nod and say, “This all looks fine,” and leave.  No one has ever called you out on your intrusions.  So…you just felt free to invite yourself anywhere you were curious to go.  Today, you thought about things you were interested in and decided that you’d go to some of the clubs to find out what the club uniforms looked like.  After all, not all those cards were released; it’s like the ultimate preview!

You were almost used to the way things fell silent when you entered the stable yard.  Members of the Horseback Riding Club stopped what they were doing to stare at you.  Those who faced away noticed the attention of their fellows and turned to see you before they too, fell silent.  In almost no time at all, they had casually circled you, as though waiting for you to hand out some sort of instruction or give a speech.  You rubbed your head and thought, guess it’s time to break out the old ‘nothing to see here’ and bounce.  Before you could though, a call broke the silence.  “HUMAN!”

You turned toward the sound, an eager expression coming over you.  Were you about to experience the famous rants of Sebek?  As you hoped, Sebek was loudly berating students at the outer edges of the semi-circle for their inattention during club activities.  You eased yourself forward, hoping to catch sight of him.  No one tried to bar your way, parting before you as you progressed.  You easily reached his side and leaned forward to watch his antics.  Suddenly, he turns and grabs onto YOU!  “HUMAN, YOU AREN’T EVEN DRESSED YET!  THIS SORT OF SLOVENLY BEHAVIOR…” and then he trails off as he looks at your face and you can see the awareness fall over him.

His eyes go wide, and he immediately let’s go of your shoulder, visibly taken aback.  He stammers and you imagine you even see tears gathering in his eyes.  You think to yourself, time to find a way out of this before things get even worse.  “I…I’m here for an inspection…” you say carefully.  All the gathered students listen intently, standing just a touch straighter.  “Sebek, I have decided…I have decided to see how many push-ups you can do in a minute.”  It made no sense, and you knew it made no sense.  You wondered if this would finally be the time someone calls you on your BS but instead, Sebek perks up to an extreme degree.  “YES, OF COURSE!  RIGHT AWAY!” he bellows. 

You stand at his side as he begins, pretending to care far more than you do about the results of this demonstration.  Honestly, it is impressive.  The speed at which he sets out to complete the exercises is extreme.  You wonder for a moment just what sort of training Lilia DOES give to Sebek and Silver to get them to this level of fitness.  When he is finished with the allotted minute, he jumps to attention, standing much as you’d imagine he does on guard over Malleus.  You give it a moment and then say, “Yes, that will suffice.  You may all return to your duties now.”  Having ordered the students to depart, they comply with a surprising speed.  They all still watch you but now they do it while pretending to be engaged in filling buckets with water or looking over curry combs. 

You give one final nod to Sebek and say, “Good job,” before you walk away.  That was more than enough excitement for one night.  You’d rather spend the rest of the evening in Ramshackle than deal with any more things like this tonight.  Behind you, Sebek watches you go in awe.  You praised him; you told him he did a good job.  Before you quite got out of earshot, you heard one last shout, “SILVER WAKE UP!  THEY PRAISED ME, THE PLAYER PRAISED ME!”  You laughed to yourself, what a strange world this was.

That evening in Diasomnia, Sebek carefully pulled his portrait of Malleus off the wall.  Nestled behind it was a photograph of the Player.  He gazed at it reverently.  They’d spoken to him today; praised him even.  He wasn’t yet over it.  He thinks we will never get over it.  He places your photo next to his pillow as he lays down to sleep.  In the morning, he’ll put it back behind the portrait.  He’d not dare to change his room’s layout from what the Player knows!  But for tonight, he’d fall asleep to your face and the remembrance of your voice.  Someday…maybe he’d not even need to use a photograph.  ‘NO!’ he tells himself sternly, ‘the Player is not for you!’  And yet, some dark corner of his mind tells him that ‘good job’ is just a small step away from ‘I love you.’

[vigilskeep]

im rly enjoying hearing about bea, it’s always so impressive to me how you can make so many very different characters and yet they all feel complex and very grounded in the setting! do you have a process for coming up with them or do they just sort of fall into place?

ahh thank you!!!

i don’t know that i have a specific process exactly... i love making characters who are very grounded in their setting & origin so i kind of work up from that. for me everything is about backstory and how that feeds into motivation and big decisions

that can go in either order, so like: minerva’s basic character concept starts with me seeing the circle and saying ‘what if i make a character who really tried to fit in here and be everything this place wanted?’, in combination with the later-introduced addition once i knew more about the setting, ‘what would it be like to have tevinter elven heritage but end up in a southern circle?’ i only go from there—the backstory—to figuring out what this person’s goals might be as the grey warden, so minerva’s ambition and obsession with optics stem from that, and her decision to spare loghain, her choice of romance, etc. all from what i think someone with that background might do

keir’s basic character concept starts with my interest in some red hawke/anders dialogue i’d heard and the concept, ‘it’d be fun to play a hawke whose love is so clear and ruthless that the question of whether or not what anders finally does is morally acceptable is almost irrelevant because he’d stand by him even if it wasn’t. what kind of person would do that?’ so with him i’m doing it in the reverse order, i’m starting with the motivation and the big later decision and then “reverse engineering” the backstory, what his relationship with his family must be like, how the hawkes’ childhood affected him. and in funny ways that changed what i started with; technically the original concept is still true, but when i made keir so protective and dedicated and fierce to justify those depths of devotion, suddenly he was really angry and heartbroken after the chantry explosion regardless, because anders was willing to throw away the life that mattered so much to him, and because anders expected him to kill him, which is the antithesis of his entire character and suggests anders might not know him very well at all. that’s the best thing, when they start coming to life in ways i didn’t expect

coming up with inquisitors i can stick to is harder for me because they don’t have what the warden and hawke have, which is a clear backstory environment and cast of characters i get to work with for those building blocks. so the reason i find trevelyans so much easier than other inquisitors to make is that i know a little about medieval history and how christian(-coded) nobility works, so it’s very very easy for me to like... figure out the “cast” i might be working with and play barbies with the setting and decide how some people might turn out. i think the eagle-eyed can notice that when i come up with a new inquisitor, it’s usually an idea for backstory and how that makes a character, even if a simple one, like: “what if i play a very privileged member of the carta who’s never fought like this before in her life?” “what if i play an older dalish character who has leadership experience?” “what if i play a pious young noblewoman who’s not yet had any experiences that break that mold?”

for me i very much believe setting is closely closely intertwined with character. it’s why i find it really difficult to make one in a setting with less hard rules, like bg3. i believe that people, based on whatever circumstances they grew up in, learn a set of logic and behaviours and frames of reference for how they think they can best deal with situations. that’s defined by your “personal” backstory, your family and your life and so on, but also by your place in the world. what were you taught about who you are and who other, different types of people are in comparison? where do you come from? what’s your religion? how much money are you accustomed to having? who in this world do you look up to? i don’t believe in making characters in isolation from all that, i’m not sure how it can be possible. it’s why i’m so passionate about dragon age, because it gives me a world that is so full and varied with options of where to come from, but also has so much room with blank spaces for you to write into and characters who can have very nuanced individual experiences that still belong in thedas. i really love it jgshsksk

i hope any of that made sense 😭

[delusinaldreamer19]

After receiving some interaction with this post I made about my feelings on the Undertaker, I wanted to clarify some of the things I said. And give, you know, actual points + evidence for why I don’t like him.

I’ll start by rephrasing that very point. It’s not that I don’t like him as a character, it’s that I think he’s evil. Maybe one of the most evil characters in the series.

@abybweisse left a comment on my post saying how Yana had specified that UT wasn’t the main villain of the story. I agree. But whether or not he’s the main villain of the story doesn’t take away from how evil his actions are.

I’m just going to go ahead and get the main point across, or my main reason for “hating him” ig.

He needed r!Ciel’s body in order to revive him. In order to retrieve his corpse from the sight of the sacrifice, he needed to have known where it was. In order to retrieve r!Ciel’s body before the place fully burned down after being set ablaze by Ciel & Seb, he would have needed to be there when it was happening.

Remember this panel?

There are numourus theory’s abt it, but I personally believe it’s UT.

Case and point, he must have known that the twins where being held captive by the cult. Whether or not he knew about all the ways they were being abused is kind of irrelevant—I feel that seeing them in the cage would be enough to know they were being harmed.

This biggest thing about him that I just can’t get past is why didn’t he intervene?

Your telling me that the same person who said “I can’t bare to lose another Phantomhive” just sat by and watched as one of these Phantomhives he supposedly cares so much about was murdered right before his eyes? It’s just doesn’t sit right with me.

I’m halfway to believing that he specifically waited for r!ciel (and prob o!ciel) to die so that he could do the whole reanimated corpse thing. But I’m not convinced that will be the main payoff of his actions within the series.

Speaking of his actions…yeah I’m not done.

What is the point of him essentially ruining o!Ciel’s life? Seriously. Framing him for the sapphire music hall incidents, kicking him out of his own home, stripping him of everything he has aside from Seb and his servants. Like- why? What does that do to further his goals (whatever they may be)?

I feel like he could have kept the whole reviving r!ciel thing more…idk personal? Privet? Like revealing to only o!ciel that he’d done that.

And why revive Doll if not to specifically torment o!ciel with a ghost of his past? Or at least to have some sort of negative effect on him?

There are so many questions about the UT, and while we don’t have the answers for them yet, the questions themselves paint him in a very bad light.

Yes, he had some sort of relationship to Claudia. Yes, he cried over the picture of Vincent. He may care about the Phantomhives in some manner, but I can’t help but feel that he doesn’t care about o!ciel. He may have had a few lines that suggest otherwise, but is actions have spoken very loudly through this series.

If I had to put it into a theory, I’d say I think his main reason for doing all of this is that he just want to pit a real human (o!ciel) against one of his reanimated creations (r!ciel) to see which will come out on top. His whole thing has always been laughter and entertainment.

But that’s just the impression I’ve gotten from thinking about the Undertaker and trying to piece his actions together. Do I think this is the real motivation that Yana has in store for him? No. But I just can’t seem to get past it.

[fastandcarlos]

The House Of Piastri : ̗̀➛ Oscar Piastri

summary: the one where you and oscar move into a place that you can finally call your own

“Welcome to the house of Piastri!” Oscar chimed, turning the key and opening up the place that was finally yours. “Our very first home,” Oscar grinned, throwing his arm across your shoulders, pulling you in. 

It was far from perfect, there were moving boxes everywhere, little decoration, and many of the rooms were uncoordinated, but it was your place. Just for you and Oscar. There was no one else around, nothing to interrupt you both anymore. 

“Where do we begin?” You laughed, pressing your fingers to your temple. “What have we signed ourselves up for?” You asked Oscar, glancing across at him. His smile was wide, a lot more optimistic than you were at the adventure that you had ahead of you. 

When Oscar suggested the two of you think about finding your own place after moving to Monaco, you jumped at the chance. It was a big deal for you both, having only ever lived separately before, but after leaving home in order to support Oscar, you knew you couldn’t be alone. 

“Doesn’t it just feel right though?” Oscar whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I can already see how amazing it’s going to look, even if it doesn’t look that way right now.” 

Your head nodded in agreement with Oscar, no doubt that it was a place you’d feel happy calling your home. You and Oscar had so many plans, you’d spent hours awake at night talking through your ideas, searching online for some inspiration of what you’d like. 

“The view is beautiful too,” you hummed, taking a few steps forward across the room to where your balcony was. “I don’t think I’ll tire of looking out here, it’s beautiful.” 

“Almost as beautiful as you,” Oscar chimed, watching as your eyes rolled. “What? I’m only being honest; it doesn’t quite compare to you.” 

Oscar took your hand again, leading you across to where the sofa was just beside the balcony. You sat against his side, back pressed against his chest as Oscar rested his head on top of yours. It was about the only piece of furniture that you had built and ready to go, having taken most of the day to get it delivered and set up, but it left you both excited for all the hard work that was to come.  

It felt like a dream as you looked around the apartment, neither you or Oscar could quite believe that you were finally there, after months of planning and waiting around. 

“Imagine how beautiful this is going to be soon,” Oscar whispered into your ear, “I can see us spending forever here, growing old, maybe even raising a family too.” 

Your eyes widened as Oscar spoke, not quite knowing what to say. He felt your body tense up, worried that maybe he’d said the wrong thing, got too ahead of himself in amongst all of the excitement of moving in. 

Oscar mumbled an apology across to you. “I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just a maybe one day kind of thing. I guess I’m just excited for the future now that we’re finally here.” 

It wasn’t that you were scared, but you’d never really heard Oscar talk about your future plans before. You were both so young, and had so much time ahead of you, although you knew most of your time now was going to be spent building, decorating, and trying to get your home look a little more homely.  

“Don’t be sorry,” you smiled up at Oscar, “there’s no need to be sorry. I like that you’re thinking about these sorts of things. Forever is a long time though; we don’t know where the future is going to take us.” 

“I’d live anywhere as long as I had you with me,” Oscar mused, “I’d live in a rubbish bin as long as you were there, even if you would end up smelling a bit.” 

“Moving in has really got you thinking about things, hasn’t it?” 

Oscar nodded, kissing against the top of your head. “I guess moving in with you has made me so happy, I’m just excited now for what’s going to come next.” 

“I’ll give you a clue...a heck of a lot of painting,” you teased. 

It was going to take many hours to get the apartment as you wanted it, but you and Oscar knew that together you’d get it done. You didn’t want the easy option when it came to finding your home, but even this was a harder challenge than either of you could imagine. 

“Think about all the memories that we’re going to make here,” Oscar spoke, “we’ll be able to have friends over, family can stay when they visit, and just stay here together too.” 

It was a big move, not only had you found a new city, but you’d found a new country too. Luckily for you, many of the other drivers who were already out there had been more than willing to help you out, offering their services whenever you needed them. 

“I think once we’re unpacked and decorated, I’ll feel happier, your mum would be mortified if she knew we were living here with the state of this place right now,” you replied. 

“She can’t wait to visit,” Oscar laughed, “I think she might be more excited than us about this.” 

Everyone around you couldn’t wait to see you move in together, you were inseparable at the best of times and it was only a matter of time. Your parents, and Oscar’s, especially had pushed you to move in, desperate to see you in a place you could call your own. 

“It’s going to be crazy, but there’s no one else I’d like to move in with and decorate my first home alongside.” 

Your head nodded in agreement with Oscar, as terrifying as it was, you were beyond excited too. Your vision was clear, and one thing you were absolutely confident of was the fact that you were absolutely going to love living there, especially with Oscar there too. 

“You know, when all of this is done, we’ll be able to sit here and think about how lucky we are.” 

Your head tilted back to look up at Oscar, “I already feel lucky enough as it is. You’re here, and we’re in Monaco, what could be better than that?” 

“I really do appreciate you moving all the way out here to support me,” Oscar whispered, “not many people would move across the world for their partner. It’s a huge sacrifice to make, I just hope that it’s worthwhile being here for you.” 

“It’s worth it, wherever you go, I go,” you replied, reminding him of the promise that you made to each other. “Anyway, Monaco is definitely the place that feels like home now too.” 

Oscar glanced down with a smile, “there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you right now. I think I could get used to living here, with you.” 

“I agree, this is beyond anything that I could have ever dreamed of.” 

“It’s not just an apartment anymore, it’s our home,” Oscar said, “a place we can finally call our own.” 

“The house of Piastri, it’s perfect.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[goreinfested]

If it John Cena hcs then it’s crush hcs

JOHN CENA CRUSH HCS:

( little a/n: I said i was going to sleep but I keep thinking about all these requests and the gears in my head are turning I can’t stop them ! I am a little sleepy though so hopefully it doesn’t affect my writing :p)

One thing about John is: if he has a crush it will never stay a crush the champion ALWAYS gets what he wants

From the moment he saw you he was stunned. you were exactly his type. It was like you came from straight inside his head and decided to come to life hand crafted and made for him- but we all know that’s not how it works and he’s a bit dramatic

It really didn’t take him that long to introduce himself as he’d saunter over to you with a lopsided smile

“hey I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m sure you already know who I am by now” he said pointing to the shirt that said ‘the champ is here’ “ but allow me to officially introduce myself”

You thought at that this bastard was so cocky that you simply just laughed and walked away. You laughed at him? The world wrestling champion? Now that simply couldn’t slide

Of course this filled him with determination to get you to really see him. Taking every chance to talk to you be it passing in the halls, after promos and matches to even one time he kept trying to have a conversation with you while you were on the way to the bathroom

You gotta hand it to the guy, his dedication was admirable.

I’d like to think you of course were oblivious

When trying to have simple conversation with you didn’t work, being his normal funny self surely would right?

He’d do all sorts of crazy stupid shit to grab your attention. Pulling stuff like walking up to you with a bra on and modeling it like some poster girl, or better yet this other time where he was putting on the best impressions he could muster ( some could say he was making fun of them) of wwe superstarts ( specifically Randy orton) and while it did make you laugh, Randy stood behind him the whole time and didn’t let the poor guy know he was hearing the whole thing

Of course when he turned around color drained his face and he was hightailing it outta there yelling ‘c’mon Randy it was just a joke no need to scowl you’re gonna age your face 30 years!” And he said so laughing the whole way right out of that situation

Chaos really erupted after that but it got your interest in him and it got your attention.

People definitely started whispering about it, not that cena was shy about being into you.

People like triple h & r truth were spreading around cenas rumored feelings for you around the locker room saying things like ‘ isn’t John acting a little strange ? I think he’s got the hopeless romantic act or something going on’

Of course since the company was so big, this was going to start spreading EVERYWHERE. People saying all sorts of things even at one point it got spinned to make it look like YOU were the one who had a crush on HIM.

He’d be really upfront about it if someone asked though.

“ hell yeah I am attracted to them! And I’m first in line if they’re single.”

He did not play when it came to stating how he wanted a chance

It was laughable and kind of cute really

Nothing was too embarrassing for him. Not constant rejection or any of the whispers

Of course if you were really not interested cena is not disrespectful enough to keep pushing your boundaries, he’s very respectful to those around him. Especially people he feels are closer to his heart than others

HOWEVER IF you do show him interest? He’s cranking up the volume 10000%

The smooth walk up to you, stupid pick up lines and the whole nine yards seemed to be a daily routine

He would NOT have any type of flirting or anything with other people if he had a crush

Unless of course if it was for a storyline or something but I’d like to think he’d be a little hesitant

Definitely feel like if his heart is leaning towards someone it’s all or nothing. He doesn’t really betray his own feelings or loyalty even if you weren’t together yet

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

No, but it does give you back some control, Kaz. Which honestly is an understandable feeling to want to have. But thinking about it, what’s gotta be worse than being both grounded-and in excruciating pain with much less function than he had previously?

Loss of control.

Even if I go with my headcanon of the capture being an organized thing between himself and Ocelot-that doesn’t mitigate it being traumatic or bad.

(Which obviously, is just a headcanon/theory: nothing I say in any of these posts is 100% proven canonically, this is just my own thoughts after all from context we receive within the game).

Anyway.

Taking aside the other factors (artificial limbs aren’t a guarantee that it makes things better, or easier. Extra weight, difficulties etc) thinking of the kind of personality Kaz has; that of a high-strung man eager to find his place and exert power over others (and if not power, then something akin to it, or mingled with other elements) a core element in that is control.

Being the one in charge. Someone who has enough of a position of authority to exert his will unto others. Whether that word comes from himself or Snake, he’s at the helm somehow.

After Kaz is rescued, he’s open about exactly how he’s feeling-

And honestly, a single look at himself, or even just how much pain he has got to be in on a day-to-day basis would tell him that he really doesn’t need to focus on that in order to remember. Frankly, I think he’d have a much harder time forgetting. After all, it’s been 9 years since the attack, and he’s still fueled so strongly by hate and revenge that it’s on his mind 24/7. Nothing else occurs to him, ever.

Angry enough that even after weeks in captivity, he’s fuming and chomping at the bit to get going again.

Sir the only thing you should be right now is unconscious.

But there is really only so much vulnerability a single person can take. Let alone someone like him.

Kicks help away.

If he’s in pain, it’s more than just a reminder. It serves as the one thing he has left to master. To be in charge of. Pain meds wouldn’t take all of it away. But it would ease it. Bionics wouldn’t take all of it away, but it might (or might not) help him. If he says ‘no’ to all of this, then he’s the one with the final say. Logically, it doesn’t make the most sense. After all, you can’t think or function properly in pain the way you could out of it.

Believe me I know.

I rely on aids myself, from time to time. I was a daily cane user for most of university.

A wheelchair for another trip. 

And there’s absolutely an argument to be made, that if he did take assistance. Help. That if he did get himself in less pain then he’d actually be exerting more control in the situation because now he’s the one that’s got a handle on it. He’s the one that took it back and brought it back to himself. Into a place where it no longer dominates him, but he dominates it.

But the longer he’s in pain, the angrier he can stay. Not to mention it provides an excuse for the anger. Now he’s not just in control of himself (so he thinks anyway, I’d argue the point with him myself if he was a living thing I could speak too) but kept mad and spitting. Mad enough to kill Skull Face, mad enough to keep going and going. Fueling his fire with self grown coals.

Because without that pain, that anger. Also comes loss.

Grief is one of the central themes to MGSV (a whole other post to be honest).  Grief and anger often times go hand and hand. Kaz isn’t a good person with good morals at the end of the day. A man who was so eternally displaced with his position in the world from the day of his birth, and really until his death that his solution was things like nation states and war economies. But you don’t have to be a good person, or a saint, to have been wronged in some fashion.

He's never been shy about admitting exactly what kind of person he is (in this regard, anyway)

And is there not, end of day, a large element of control rooted in things like this?

These are the sorts of ideologies Kaz holds: in his own words.

Like this:

Or this.

His lead, and Kaz's. (Since it's Kaz talking here that is not what is outright stated, but it's clear enough what Kaz might want, within these situations).

(One could also argue this is just morally corrupt people taking care of other morally corrupt people but that’d be a derailment. Another post would have to delve into that as well).

When he lost everything-his home, his limbs, he lost key elements of his control that he worked so brutally to build. Whatever scrap of it he can cling to and maintain, he will.

Obviously, Kaz is in a different place (and undoubtedly frame of mind by the 90’s) but in the 80’s, he’s holding strong to pain, grief, anger, and loss. Because if he lets go of the things that keep him fueled and furious, then all that’s left is all-encompassing grief.

And that must feel a whole lot harder to deal with to him (I’d think anyway) than being raging and fuming.

[shojimezolovemail]

Hi! Im the one who requested the gojo brother request

Tbh at first i wanted it to be romantic but i ended up enjoying more how you did it xd

If you dont mind i would like an extension. I think it would be nice to see gojo, shoko and geto and the rest of first grade

Thanks in advance! :D

A/N: yipeee another request! hopefully you enjoy this one :D sorry for any typos btw hehe

request status: open!

✰ gojo ✰

- he absolutely loves to tease you but only he is allowed to do it

- ^^someone else does? it’s their head on platter

- gojo understands you’re shy at times so he knows you might not clue him in to everything that bugs you but once he finds out, he will be sure to deal with it on your behalf (even if you’re capable of doing so yourself)

- despite you two being so different, he really does cherish you and your outlook on things

- i’d assume you’re a little more rational than him so you’re probably talking him down from being impulsive (frequently)

- often drags you along in his plans/errands for ‘sibling bonding’ but in all honesty it’s probably so he has an excuse to buy extra sweets

- if you’re really his opposite and don’t enjoy the sweet treats in life, that’s when he breaks out the dramatic side of him

- ^^ fake fainting and falling on you yk…the works!

- he really is a loving guy and would do anything to keep you comfortable

✰ geto ✰

- he knows first hand how gojo is so being around you is a stark difference

- geto also probably did not believe that you two were actually related at first

- “did the stork that delivered you get mixed up?? no way you’re satoru’s sibling…”

- he is more laid back so in the times that you two may hang out or you join in on one, you know that he is someone who will have patience

- frequently requests that you tag along on outings

- ^^ maybe as a way of trying to get you comfortable or his own selfish desire to have someone around who isn’t screaming in his ear

- if you’re on the shy side, he is more than happy to speak up for you if needed

- he knows you’re capable and does not ever belittle that fact because he understands (at least a little)

- if you’re comfortable talking about what interests you, geto is happy to listen anytime

✰ shoko ✰

- she is a little suspicious of you at first

- she comes around after picking up on some of your habits and seeing you and gojo are similar

- you’d also brought her a cool lighter with a cigarette case one day and that solidified that she could enjoy your company

- i wouldn’t say she was necessarily in disbelief like others though

- shoko liked having you around, it was nice to have someone who was capable of being calm and collected in times of distress

- she wasn’t a touchy kind of person but somehow found herself with a hand on you often

- ^^ if the hangouts you attended were relaxed, expect shoko to be laying her head on your shoulder

- you made her feel very comfortable for some reason (she’d blame it on some cursed technique of yours)

- she says you’re her favorite of your family as well

✰ megumi ✰

- due to his less than normal relationship with gojo, he already sort of knew you

- it may have taken a little while for you two to officially meet but he at least knew of you from your brother’s ramblings

- upon first meeting you he was confused because in his eyes, you didn’t look like a gojo

- he had no feelings of disbelief though, he was sure you two were related

- ^^ maybe you and him stand the same or have some small physical tell but megumi was not phased by the stark difference

- he enjoyed your company more than gojo’s sometimes (though he may not admit it)

- you were not overly excitable but you still showed your emotions well when he’d interact/speak with you

- it meant a lot to him knowing you were always in his corner as well

- ^^ he definitely values both you and gojo immensely

✰ itadori ✰

- like i said in nobara’s his reaction was ‘:0’

- he’d also interrogate you too

- he itadori just wants to know more about you!

- were you the younger or older sibling? were you also a full time sorcerer or did you do something else? what were your hobbies? he was very interested to learn about you

- maybe you two bonded over movies or celebrity crushes (shout out jennifer lawrence)

- itadori is someone who tends to talk a lot when excited so if you’re not super talkative, he’s filling up the conversation for you!

- ^^ he doesn’t mind if you are though, he sees it as you’ll come around eventually and talk more

- the time since which he is panicked about somwthing, whether that be a curse or the difficult decisions that must be made as a sorcerer, he feels comfortable to come to you

- ^^ he knows you won’t make him freak out more than he might already be