#if his surrounding society allowed him to be a damsel without being ashamed of himself

[the-crooked-library]

One similarity between Jonathan and '24 Thomas I'd like to point out is the "unclean" scene.

Jonathan saw and experienced all the nastiest most vile parts inside of vampires, and when she declared herself unclean and when holiness itself burned her he loved her despite it all, and resolved that if she became one of those monsters he would follow her. Thomas also saw all the horrifying darkness in Ellen, and when she too cried out that she's unclean he like Jonathan said that she's not and that he loves her.

I mean... I don't think these scenes are really all that similar - and again, this is to do with characterization, because on the surface level, they do follow roughly the same script. They're both extremely significant to the dynamics between Jonathan/Mina or Thomas/Ellen - but more so as a juxtaposition.

Mina believes herself to be unclean and damned because she has been bitten by Dracula and is indeed at risk of becoming a vampire as well; and as you said, Jonathan vows to join her in that cursed undeath. It is an expression of beautiful, intense, blasphemous, extremely gothic devotion, and it defines their relationship throughout the story.

By contrast, Ellen believes herself to be unclean because of her own psychic ability - because she was the one who woke Orlok in the first place. Thomas does try to reassure her, he tells her he loves her; and he is trying his best, but this reassurance ultimately falls flat for two reasons - 1) he cannot convince her that she is not unclean, because that perceived "uncleanliness" is an inherent part of her, rather than something foreign; and 2) he wants her to eventually be free of it, which she cannot ever be - because, again, the horror is a part of her.

Unlike Jonathan, Thomas is terrified of that horror. He does not recognize it as a permanent aspect of Ellen, and he ultimately is incapable of making the same vow that Jonathan Harker did; and this limitation is crucial to the undercurrent of that scene, because it is the reason Ellen lies to him about her final plan. Mina trusted Jonathan and co. enough to openly ask them to end her life in the event of turning, but Ellen makes the arrangements with Von Franz in secret, before sending her husband on a wild-goose chase. She cares about him, yes, and he cares for her; but he does not love all existing aspects of her. He would not be able to accept her if she turned. Their goals in life, their desires, their perspectives are fundamentally incompatible, and so the only thing she can do for him is leave him behind.

Thomas may have good intentions and a similar choice of career, but he's no Jonathan. It's not exactly his fault, it's just that he's really not meant to be a Hero. He's a Damsel in Distress and he's being forced into the wrong role entirely by a patriarchal world - the existence of which only Ellen appears to recognize.