#if he wanted to actually help he could’ve idk done something that wouldn’t cancel the whole festival

[thenighttrain]

daily i hate m/tty crappy post, i hate him a million times more now.

[whadd-up-babie]

✨🥺🥰 Sykkunos Sister 🥰🥺✨

Part One

Author's Note: Fuck time lines. I don't care if time lines don't add up. I mean on any other occasion I would care but right now at this exact moment in time, I couldn't fucking care less.

Word-count: 4k

Warnings: idk

~~~

You walked into your new apartment, your two roommates and life long friends by your side.

You smiled and turned to the two, “You see this ladies?” You said with a satisfied smirk on your face, “All of our hard work finally paid off.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually here.” Addie said with stars in her eyes. “A couple of years late maybe, but still here in L.A”

You chuckled “I can't believe we wanted to move here as soon as we got out of highschool.”

“Yeah imagine how horrible that could've gone?” Your other friend Selena spoke up.

You visibly shuddered at the thought of how bad that could've been. You felt a buzz in your back pocket and looked down at your jeans.

“Me and Selena are gonna check out this place before we start bringing the boxes in.” Addie told you as her and Selena walked off.

You nodded your head as you pulled out your phone from your jeans. It was a text message from one of your brothers' roommates.

Toast Are you in L.A yet?

You Yeah, I just walked into my new apartment

You quickly typed out and hit send. You’ve been in contact with your brothers’ friends for a while now. You haven’t seen Thomas, or Sykkuno, in years and you wanted to surprise him during one of his streams.

He was streaming Proximity Chat Among Us with; Toast, Lily, Poki, Rae, Ludwig, Dream, Brooke, Jacksepticeye and Corpse. You were a fan of all of them.

You lived a couple blocks away from your brother and his friends which was very convenient for you, considering as the younger of the both of you it is your duty to be the most annoying human being possible. So random pop ups at his home would be much much easier.

Toast I told the lobby that I ordered delivery so they expect an interruption

You Ooooh big brain moment

Toast But I did actually order pizza, it’s pick-up so can you do me a favor and pick it up on your way

You I revoke my “big brain moment”

Toast sent you the address for the pizza parlor and the OfflineTV house.

“I’m gonna go surprise Thomas.” You called out into your apartment, “I promise I'll be back to help unload the stuff.”

“You better, considering you're the strongest one here.” Selena responded.

You chuckled and walked out of the door and into the hallway that led to the exit of your new home.

Your apartment only had two floors, you were lucky enough to score the bottom floor. It was two bedrooms and two bathrooms. The three of you slept in the smaller guest room. You had bought two bunk beds from Ikea that you planned on placing in that room.

In the master room was where everything Important was. Selena wanted to be a streamer, so her gaming set-up was in that room. Selena wasn't one of those well known streamers but she had a following. Addie wanted to be a model, so the majority of her clothes were in the master bedroom closet, whilst you and Selena shared the smaller closest in your shared room.

You on the other hand wanted to make music. All of your instruments were in the master bedroom. You owned an electric keyboard, a guitar, a bass guitar, a cello, and you just started learning how to play the ukulele.

The room set up plan was simple. You had two desks on opposite sides of the room. Selena would get the wall with the window if she ever planned on using more natural light. Selena's desk would hold her gaming set-up, she currently had two monitors, but she's saving up to buy a third.

Your desk had the latest IMac, it was a moving away gift from your family, everyone pitched in. You had an inexpensive but high quality microphone to record vocals.

In between the two desks you had a futon and coffee table gifted to you guys by Addie's grandma. Noise cancellation foam pads would coat the walls.

But you haven’t done any of that stuff yet considering everything was still in the U-Haul truck.

You walked out of the apartment whilst typing the address to your brothers home in your Waze app, you added the pizza parlor in as a stop.

You got into your SUV and started the car. You connected your phone to the bluetooth and shuffled one of your Spotify playlist.

White Tee by CORPSE began to blast through your speakers. You bopped to the rhythm and began to lip sync the lyrics.

~~~

It took you 30 minutes to collect the pizza and drive to your brothers house. You stood outside the door with the pizza balanced in your hand as you attempted to ring the doorbell.

You texted Toast beforehand so you hoped he was prepared and wouldn’t make you wait outside. You didn’t like being outside, it meant that people could see you. And you didn’t like that.

You stood outside for a couple of seconds before Toast finally opened the door.

“Finally!” You exclaimed as you pushed past him to enter his home.

“Welcome.” He said sarcastically.

“Where’s my brother's room!?” You asked excitedly.

Toast pointed you towards the direction of Sykkunos’ room and you went running.

You stood outside of his door all giddy and happy, apparently they were playing proximity chat among us. So if Sykkuno was next to anyone in- game they would surely hear you, as well as the rest of the offlinetv house.

You took a deep breath and shouldered the door open.

“I’VE GOT A PIZZA DELIVERY FOR THE BESTEST BIG BROTHER IN THE ENTIRETY OF THE WORLD!” You all but shouted, scaring him off of his chair.

He turned to look at you and his face of fear quickly morphed into one of pure happiness.

“I call him Thomas but apparently his stage name is Sykkuno. I wonder where he got that from.” You said, this time more calmly.

“Y/N!” Sykkuno said happily. He quickly got himself off the floor and tackled you in a hug.

“You know I would hug you back but like… I’m holding a pretty big pizza.” You told him. The smile on your face was so big it began to hurt your cheeks.

Sykkuno brought his hands to your shoulder and held you at arm's length. He looked you up and down.

“You’ve really grown.” He told you.

“Yeah.” You agreed, nodding your head, “You still look like a ten year old.” You said jokingly.

You laughed and he joined in. You placed the pizza down, and he led you towards his set up.

“We’re gonna need another chair.” He said looking around.

“No we don’t,” You said plopping down into his chair.

He gave you a weird look.

“I’m the guest.” You said waving your hand.

He didn’t say anything, he just looked you dead in the eyes. Right into your soul.

You felt a shiver run down your spine.

“I don’t like it when you do that.” You said as you stood from his chair.

“I only ever do it to you.” He said as he walked by you to reclaim his chair.

“That’s why I don’t like it.” You grumbled.

A couple of minutes later you got your own chair, they were even nice enough to give you a water bottle. You sat next to Sykkuno with one of his earbuds in your ear so you could hear what was happening in his game.

So far you’ve run into Rae, Poki, Toast and Lily and you told all of them about your relation to Sykkuno though Toast and Lily already knew.

Sykkuno passed by Jack and you were about to scream in the mic, but someone reported a body.

“Well now I’m disappointed.” You mumbled to yourself.

“The body was i-“

“What! Toast is dead!” You said shocked, “We were just with him.”

There was a moment of silence within the game.

“Who’s that?” Jack asked.

“Yeah,” The other players muttered in agreement.

“That’s my sister, Y/N.” Sykkuno said.

A gasp could be heard from almost everyone

“Sister!” Ludwig shouted over the gasps, “Sykkuno you didn’t tell me you had a sister. I thought we were best friends.”

“I’m not really his sister.” You told them.

“Yeah she’s my foster sister.” Sykkuno explained.

“When I was younger Sykkunos' family was my foster family, until I was adopted by a lovely couple in Chicago.” You said.

“We haven’t seen each other since her adoption.” Sykkuno continued.

“And that was. What? 10-ish years ago?” You finished turning to Sykkuno.

“Yeah around that time.” He answered.

You brought your water bottle up to your lips and began to drink.

“Well it’s great to meet you Y/N!” Brooke said excitingly.

A chorus of “nice to meet you” entered your ear, but a very distinct “what up baby” caused you to spit your water back into its bottle.

“What’s wrong?” Sykkuno asked as he looked towards you.

“That did something to my stomach.” Was all you said.

“The water?” Sykkuno questioned further.

You felt your face heat up.

“Yeah.” You said nodding your head. “It’s totally the water. It couldn’t possibly be for any other reason.” You said bring your hand up to hide your smirk with your knuckles.

You turned your head and saw the chat exploding with the word SIMP in all caps.

~~~

You were at Sykkunos house a couple of days after that incident. He was streaming Proximity Chat Among Us with the same lobby again. They were playing in Polus.

Corpse was telling the lobby about his day when you thought to yourself, “I wanna wake up to the sound of your voice.”

You scrunched up your eyebrows wondering why it got quiet all of a sudden before Sykkuno bursted into fits of laughter as well as the rest of the lobby.

It finally dawned on you that you said that out loud. Your eyes widened and your face began to heat up.

“That sounded so suggestive, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know I was speaking out loud.” You began to laugh with the rest of the group and Corpse joined in quickly after.

The game started and you were all calmed down.

“I still can’t believe I said that out loud.” You announced to the group. A few giggles left their mouths as well as your own.

“No but just imagine waking up at 7 am to Choke me like you hate me but you love me! Every single fucking day.” You said before bursting into laughter, the lobby joining in soon after.

Sykkuno was doing his tasks in O2 before he announced to his stream he had to use the bathroom.

“I’ll watch the game for you but I won’t play because… I don’t want to.” You told him as he muted his discord and got up from his chair.

“That’s fine.” He said and left the room.

You turned to his chat. They started bombarding you with questions.

“What’s your Instagram.” You read aloud.

“Oooh shameless plug, follow me on all of my socials @y/n, also subscribe to my YouTube channel “Y/N L/N” I make music…sometimes.” You answered.

“Do you simp for Corpse.” You read another.

You pursed your lips. “I’m not gonna answer that question, but I will confidently admit that I simp for Rae and Poki.” As you finished that statement, Corpses avatar walked into the room.

You reached over to Sykkunos Keyboard and un-muted his mic.

“Hey Corpse!” You chirped.

“Hey Y/N.” He replied. “Where’s Sykkuno?” He asked you.

“What, am I not good enough?” You asked with mock offense

He chuckled before speaking up. “No, I was just wondering.”

“He’s in the bathroom.” You answered. “I’m all by my little old self. Minus the stream of course.” You turned to smile at Sykkunos camera before focusing your attention on the game.

“Would you like some company?” He asked.

“I would love some company, thank you Corpse.”

He brought his Avatar to stand by Sykkunos.

“How’s your day?” He asked.

“Not very fun.” You answered thinking back to what happened this morning. “We were finishing building the second bunk bed, but I dropped one of the heavier parts on my foot, so that hurts.”

“Oh that sucks.” He stated.

“I know. How’s your day?” You asked him.

“Very uneventful, just writing some potential lyrics and stuff.” He said.

“Oh yeah you write your own music.” You responded. “How did I forget that.” You mumbled to yourself.

“What do you like to do for fun?” He questioned.

“Oh I make music, or do covers. Depends on how lazy I’m feeling.” You told him.

“You make music?” He asked. You could hear the shock in his voice.

You hummed in response. “Yeah I dabble in music production. I write a nice chunk of the music, but I have some other musical friends help me with other stuff. It’s not enough for me to be noticed by the big producers or record labels though.”

“You think you could show me some of your stuff?”

“Yeah!” You said excitedly. “Do you want me to send it through Discord, Insta or Twitter.” You said as you fished your phone out of your back pocket.

“Do discord.” He told you.

“Got it.” You pulled up your discord app as Sykkuno got back from the bathroom.

You already friended the lobby Sykkuno was playing in after your first meeting.

Sykkuno got back in his chair. “Alright I’m back.”

“I unmuted your mic by the way.” You told Sykkuno, your eyes glued to your phone. You had to send Corpse the perfect snippet. So far all your options were shit.

“Oh hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno said once he got situated.

“Hi Sykkuno.” Corpse replied, “I was just talking to Y/N, she’s great company.” He complimented you.

“I am good company,” You said looking up from your phone, “I wish my roommates thought that.” You muttered to yourself, apparently louder than you thought because Corpse began to chuckle.

You smirked slightly. The sound of Corpses’ laugh caused a blush to spread to your cheeks.

“Shouldn’t you two finish your tasks.” You coughed up, trying to hide your blush. “I mean you’ve wasted enough time already.”

“Does anyone ever do their tasks when they play proximity?” Sykkuno asked.

“Exactly.” Corpse agreed.

“I’m a very work oriented person so I probably would.” You told them. You finally found the perfect audio file to send Corpse.

“I hope he likes it.” You thought to yourself. You sent Corpse the file the same time a body was reported.

“I found Luds’ body in decontamination.” Rae said.

“Sykkuno and Corpse did nothing in o2 practically the whole round.” You told the lobby. The lobby has gotten used to you speaking up while they played.

“I was keeping a new friend company that's not exactly nothing.” Corpse said, trying to defend himself.

“It meant nothing to me.” You said, you were quiet for a few seconds before you spoke up again, “I’m sorry! That was mean! I didn’t mean it! Thank you for disregarding your tasks just to keep me company!”

The lobby broke out into laughter while you continued spewing out apologies.

~~~

The game ended quickly, turns out Poki and Rae were the imposters. You decided then to make your departure.

“I should probably head home.” You told the lobby, “The only food the girls know how to cook is pizza rolls, pizza bagels and ramen. And we promised each other we would start eating healthy.” You got up from your chair as the lobby was saying their goodbyes.

You exited Sykkunos room and walked towards the exit. You ran into Michael and Lily and said goodbye to them on your way out.

You reached your car and pulled out your phone, checking for notifications. You usually stay off your phone whenever you watch your brothers’ stream so you never know what's happening.

It turns out you had 10 missed calls from Selena, and over 100+ messages of her asking you to answer the phone.

You quickly got into your car and called your roommate.

The phone only rang twice before she answered.

“YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DID FOR YOU!” She screamed into the phone.

You brought your hand away from your ear and cringed at how loud she was being.

“That’s fun.” You muttered to yourself. You put your phone down in one of the cup holders and put it on speaker.

“What did you do exactly.” You asked aloud as you put your key into the ignition.

“So you remember that cute guy we ran into-” She began but you interrupted.

“NO!” You shouted. “I am not in the mood to go on dates. We are here in L.A to focus on our careers. I don’t have time for dating.”

Selena was quiet for a few moments before she spoke up.

“Okay, but if you meet him and start catching feelings but it's too late, just know it's not my fault.” She said before she hung up.

You sighed to yourself. You were not ready to go out on dates. Especially not after your last relationship.

You drove in silence for the majority of the way home until you got a discord notification on your phone. You waited until you reached a stop light to look at it. Apparently it was from Corpse.

CORPSE I loved the vocals I honestly wasn't expecting this type of music from you

You quickly typed out a reply while still paying attention to the road ahead of you.

You Thanks! I just thought you would like that type of sound so I decided to send that one

You hit send right as the lights turns green. You placed your phone back into the cupholder and began to drive. You got another discord notification, you assumed it was Corpse.

“He can wait 5 minutes.” You thought to yourself. Corpse may have peaked your interests but that doesn't mean you were willing to get into a car crash for him.

You quickly pulled into your apartment complex and ran into your home, phone in hand. You had gotten 3 discord notifications whilst you were driving. You quickly sat down on your couch in the living room and propped your feet onto the coffee table.

CORPSE I like how this is mixed and produced You have a great tone throughout the song Would you want to collab sometime?

You felt your heart leap into your throat.

“This couldn't possibly be happening.” You thought to yourself.

Corpse was very relevant in the music industry, he had told you during one of the Among Us games that many labels were reaching out to him. This collaboration with Corpse could make you a star!

You A collab with one of the most trending people in the world? Count me in!

CORPSE Great! we can meet up whenever you want to work out some lyrics

You smiled to yourself thinking of how many doors this could open for you. This could make or break your career.

“Holy shit.” You mumbled under your breath.

“Me and Corpse are making a song together!” You thought to yourself.

“What kind of Wattpad fanfic is this?” You said out loud as Selena and Addie came out of the Master Bedroom.

“Oooh what about Wattpad fanfics?” Selena asked, as she headed towards the kitchen.

“My life is a Wattpad fanfic.” You told her. You furrowed your eyebrows in thought, “Is this my existential crisis?”

“What?” Addie asked, very confused as she sat down on the arm of the sofa.

“What am I rambling about.” You turned to your roommates. “You’ll never believe what I just scored.” You told them excitedly.

“What?” Selena asked as she exited the kitchen a bag of chips in her hands.

“I’m going to do a collaboration with Mr. Corpse Husband himself.” You said proudly.

“No way!” Selena shouted, dropping her bag of chips on the floor. “You lucky bitch.” She said.

“You guys have only known one another for like 3 days.” Addie said.

“We’re making a song, not getting married.” You told her.

“Yet.” Selena said with a smirk.

“I’m going to bed.” You told them as you stood up from the couch.

“What!?” They said in unison.

“But it’s like 8 o'clock.” Addie finished.

“I know but I���m not in the mood to put up with the both of you.” You said as you left the living room.

“I only said one thing!” Selena complained.

“One too much.” You told her.

You walked down the hall and entered your shared room. You sat down at the foot of your bed and sighed.

“This is not at all what I expected when I told mom I was moving to Cali.” You threw yourself backwards.

“How are we gonna go about this?” You asked yourself. Were you and corpse gonna work together in person, were you gonna work over a discord call? You haven’t seen his face, you’re not sure if he’s seen yours yet. All these thoughts came and went inside your brain, it was starting to give you a headache.

You grabbed your pillow and brought it down on your face. You made a noise somewhere in between a groan and a whine when you heard you got another discord notification from your phone.

You reached around for your phone until you finally grabbed it and brought it up to your face. It was another message from Corpse.

CORPSE For making the song I was thinking maybe you could come over to my apartment because I remember how you once told the lobby that your roommates are very loud

YOU They are very loud And thank you for the invitation, I was just starting to wonder how we were gonna work together

CORPSE Here’s my address and number Wanna meet up on Sunday 3 o’clock?

“Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.” You thought to yourself, You’re pretty sure you don't have any plans that day. You typed out a quick reply before turning off your phone and going to sleep.

~~~

It was Sunday 12 o’clock you left your house with a nice hot cup of joe in your hands. Corpse lived 2 hours away so you wanted to leave early to hopefully grab some breakfast.

The night prior you placed your guitar in the back of your car, knowing you wouldn't remember to do it the morning of.

You got into your car and pulled out of your apartment complex. It was a long drive filled with random songs. You pulled into the first McDonalds you saw and ordered your usual.

When you were back on the road you had about 30 minutes before you would arrive at Corpse’s house. Which meant, using the power of mental math, you would get there 30 minutes early.

You grabbed your phone out of your bag keeping your eyes on the road. You opened up your contact list and scrolled through looking for Corpse. You found his name and gave him a call. You put your phone on speaker and put it into your cup holder. The phone rang about eight times before he answered.

“Hello.” He answered, his voice was deeper than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked as you turned off the highway.

“Yeah, I got a good… 35 minutes.” He told you with a chuckle.

“Make yourself some breakfast. I should be there in about 30 minutes.” You told him with a smirk.

“Yes ma’am” He told you before he hung up.

“This is gonna be a long day.” You muttered to yourself.

~~~

Sykkunos Sisters Master list

Story Snippets/Master list

Taglist:

I couldn’t tag some people, if you are one of those people message me so we can hopefully tag you successfully. If you want to switch lists just ask :)

All Corpse fics:

@carlosoliveriaownsmyass, @cookiewhoree, @zunmie, @phriendophphrogs,  @i-love-stamps-blog, @cupidsloverr, @cassie12435, @fivedicksinatrenchcoat, @mythicalamphitrite, @wiseflamingoqueen, @cherry-piee, @mono-has-a-gun, @ilovepizzaandimhot, @rambling-rabbit, @thecanterburywitch, @daisiesandmarvel, @brooklyn22, @and-claudia, @captainbuckyy

Sykkunos Sisters:

@punnypuppylove, @emsies-dream, @bbecc-a, @soft4kei, @penflop

[olliedollie1204]

magic touch

Pairing: Romantic Moceit

Word Count: 1,322

so @emo-disaster asked for moceit, i was going to send this premise as an ask, but the more i thought about it the more i wanted to add to it, so... tada! my first bullet fic! hope y’all like it, love u mwah

so patton is obvi a v physically affectionate person

deceit is,,, less so

at least at first

here’s how that changed

so

it’s in the pining period, before the two of them got together

and deceit comes to a realization

the realization being... he kinda likes when patton... touches him?

no not like that remus

but like

patton throws an arm around his shoulder, casual and quick, and deceit lets him

patton grabs his hand, gives it a squeeze because something exciting and wonderful has just happened, and deceit lets him

patton ruffles his hair on the one single occasion patton sees him without his hat, and deceit lets him

deceit may or may not go without his hat again in the hopes that patton will repeat the gesture

and deceit doesn't realize how much he likes the touch

until it goes away

just for a few days!! maybe patton has to work overtime to help thomas w something, idk

but deceit's suddenly very aware of how. warm and soft and comforting and gentle patton is.

and he misses it?

even though he's not gone, just busy

but deceit would rather die before he asks patton to stop working to, what, come cuddle him?

that’s ridiculous

(he wants patton to cuddle him, tho. he wants to v v bad)

‘but NO’ deceit says to himself, ‘of COURSE i don't need that, i didn't need it before and i don't need it now’

liar liar pants on fire

so deceit hunkers down, does his own stuff for a few days

but he can’t stop wondering why he feels so pent up and tense and irritated

meanwhile

patton's a little worse for wear himself

he's worn out and tired from working so hard recently

and he wouldn't mind some physical affection?

but he knows that's not deceit's thing and he doesn't wanna pressure him

(he’d never, ever wanna pressure him)

so when he finally gets a break, a night to himself, some time alone to relax and recuperate from all his work

he tiptoes to deceit's room

telling himself he's content with just saying hi and good night

and ‘i love you’

but patton doesn’t want to pressure him

so he knocks on deceit’s door

nothing

knocks again

nothing

he pushes a little harder on the door with his knuckles, and-

and it swings open

like maybe deceit was leaving it open for someone

so patton steps in

deceit’s at his desk, his back to the door

no hat, no capelet

just simple pajamas and big noise cancelling headphones on his head

‘did he steal those from virgil?’ patton wonders idly

he did

patton takes a few steps toward him

“hi, dee”

deceit’s hands are flying over the keyboard, patton almost couldn’t even hear himself over the click-clack of the keys

patton gets a bit closer, tries again

“deceit?”

still nothing

patton is standing right behind him now

patton can smell his shampoo from here

patton can’t explain why he does what he does next

patton lifts his hand

and places it flat on deceit’s back, right between his shoulderblades

... deceit.exe has stopped working

what that looks like is this: deceit’s fingers suddenly spasm, like he started to clench his fists but froze halfway through, and his perfect typing suddenly stops, the last line of text now riddled with typos and incomprehensible keysmashes

it was less than a second, but it could’ve been years

patton feels the subtle shift of tense muscles underneath his palm

deceit feels a sudden warmth that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up

the next second, and the moment passes

patton pulls away, all “i’m sorry!” and “i didn’t mean to interrupt you” and “i just wanted to see you, to say hi, to say goodnight, to say-”

deceit isn’t listening

deceit is spinning around in his desk chair

deceit is leaping up to grab patton’s wrist

gently, gently, so gently

deceit is pulling patton into him

deceit

and 

patton 

are 

hugging

...

‘he’s hugging me?’ patton thinks, the one thought his brain can create in this moment of shock

‘i’m hugging him?’ deceit thinks, the one thought his brain can create in this moment of humiliation

honestly, ‘hugging’ is generous

it’s more like deceit has wrapped his arms around patton’s neck

his face has fallen onto his shoulder

just absolutely clinging to him, really

the snake jumped out

and deceit is... so embarrassed

but he can’t make himself let go

and then

deceit still can’t believe this

and then patton

hugs

him

back

???

DECEIT.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

patton doesn’t say anything

(patton is having trouble remembering how to breathe, let alone how to form words into coherent sentences)

instead patton finally manages to raise his arms

wraps them so tightly around deceit’s torso

leans forward to smell that shampoo up close

it’s eucalyptus, if you’re wondering

like second nature, patton rubs his hands up and down deceit’s back

he’s warm and soft and comforting and gentle

... oh my god, deceit has missed this so much

at some point, one of patton’s hands rises to card through deceit’s hair and he almost whines out loud at how good it feels

patton scratches his nails very softly against deceit’s scalp

deceit does whine out loud, actually

it’s illegally adorable

that little noise is enough to break the spell

deceit pulls his head back

he hopes beyond hope that his blush isn’t visible in the half light of his room

it is but patton doesn’t mention it

“um” deceit says

“sorry about. that”

eloquent as ever

patton blinks

“why sorry?”

“because” deceit starts

he doesn’t finish

because he realizes two things

the first realization: his arms are still wrapped around patton

(a distressing observation, to be sure)

the second realization?

patton’s arms are still wrapped around deceit as well

(less distress, more confusion)

“dee?”

patton’s face inches away from his

patton’s eyes sparkling even in the dark

patton’s... lips-

...

so

deceit is kissing him

deceit is... kissing. Him.

... huh

...

...

... oh! oh, he should be kissing back!

so patton kisses deceit back

and they kiss

and they kiss

and they kiss

and they... wow, still kissing, huh?

ok let’s jump forward a bit

patton has changed into some of deceit’s pajamas

(he could’ve conjured his own but they both sorta pretend to forget that fact)

(because deceit’s sleep shirt absolutely swallows patton)

(and it makes patton feel really good)

(and it makes deceit feel really good)

and patton has asked once more if deceit is sure he doesn’t mind if patton sleeps in their

“i mean, it’s your room, i don’t wanna impose, just say the word and i’ll leave-”

“patton we just made out for 20 minutes, don’t you think if i wanted you gone i’d have said so sooner?”

(deceit is being extra snarky to hide the fact that his blush has somehow not died down in the slightest)

(patton sees right through him so it’s ok)

so eventually they manage to get into bed together

no not like that remus

and there’s just like. a few beats of awkwardness

because even tho they’re *~going steady~* they’ve obviously never really done anything like this before

and deceit doesn’t wanna seem needy

and patton doesn’t wanna seem pushy

so they literally take it inch by inch

like

patton: *brushes his pinky against deceit’s*

deceit: *grazes the back of patton’s hand with his knuckles*

like i’m talking glacier pace

but they’re smiling and giggling (and yes, deceit, blushing) like little kids

so deceit finally works up the nerve to push his back against patton’s chest

and patton finally works up the courage to wrap his arms around deceit’s torso

and it’s like two pieces of a puzzle have just clicked in place

because

surprise surprise

turns out these motherfuckers love to cuddle

and the rest is history

edit: now with art to go with it!! thank you star!!

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[imaginenola]

Love in Louisiana

Dwayne Pride x reader

Summary: Reader is an agent on Gibbs’ team in D.C., and is sent to New Orleans to help investigate a joint case. Reader and Pride start to feel attracted to each other. Reader’s hotel reservations are cancelled and Pride offers her to stay with him above the Tru Tone. Really cute n fluffy Pride at the end (:

Requested By: @raulmonamour

Words: 2,235

Warnings: fluff + talk of underwear ??? idk

Notes: requests are open! I got this request and it was super super cute, I’m in love with this oneshot! thank you for requesting!

The last thing you wanted was to be on a plane flying to New Orleans, but here you were. You were a Special Agent for the NCIS Washington D.C. division, and you were a member of Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ team.

This particular case, the murder of two Petty Officers who were having a forbidden affair, had brought you down to the New Orleans division of NCIS.

One of the victims, the female, had lived in New Orleans, and served there for over five years. That was why your boss sent you to investigate her life and service down in New Orleans, specifically in Belle Chasse.

The reason you weren’t particularly excited to be working this case from Louisiana was because your aunt, your only family in D.C., was in the hospital with ovarian cancer. You were the only person she had left, and after everything she’d done for you, you owed her so much. But if you were all the way in New Orleans, there was nothing you could do besides call.

You were being picked up by NCIS Special Agent Dwayne Pride, a man whom you knew only through videoconferences and phone calls. You knew enough about him to know he was one of the kindest, most selfless men on the job. And you couldn’t wait to meet him.

You got off the plane quickly and grabbed your suitcase from baggage claim. As you headed towards the lot where Agent Pride was supposed to pick you up, you noted the tropical climate and extreme heat, even from inside the airport.

You rolled your suitcase through the sliding doors which led you to parking lot 4A. You took a moment to adjust your suit, making sure your badge was visible on your waist.

“Special Agent (y/l/n), it’s a pleasure to finally meet ya in person!” You heard a deep voice call from your left, car already parked in a front spot.

“You as well, Agent Pride,” you grinned, shaking his hand. Before you could stop him, he was already putting your suitcase in the trunk.

-

“Wow, I can’t believe this architecture, Agent Pride!” You marveled, as Pride drove through the city. You knew New Orleans was beautiful, but not this beautiful. It was tempting you to stay even longer than just the weekend.

“Just wait ‘til ya see the NCIS building. I’ve got a feelin’ you’ll really like it. And Agent (y/l/n), please call me Dwayne.”

“Of course, Dwayne. And you can call me (y/n),” you said, keeping your eyes out the window.

“Everythin’ alright?” Dwayne asked.

“Yeah, I know this case is important but I just wish I was here at any other time. My aunt, the only family I have in D.C., is in the hospital. And of course, Agent Gibbs has to send me down to New Orleans to get information on some dead girl, something any of your agents could’ve done. You don’t even need me on this case,” you grumbled.

“I know Gibbs, and everything he does is for a reason. Maybe he wants ya working this angle because you’ll be able to find tha best intel,” Dwayne suggested.

“Actually, you might be onto something. Female officer, lived someplace far away, transferred because she was in love with both her job and her partner. No wonder Gibbs added ‘put yourself in her shoes’ in my case file,” you mused. You caught a quick glance of Dwayne as he grinned, ear-to-ear. He was pretty attractive, you had to admit. But you were strictly here on business.

All of a sudden, Dwayne pulled up to a gorgeous, two-story building with the NCIS insignia on the side. It was vastly different than your D.C. office, and surprisingly, you took an immediate liking to it.

It was later in the evening, and you didn’t see any other agents in the squad room. “Here’s a spare desk for ya,” Dwayne motioned to a bare, wooden desk near his.

“(Y/n)!” You heard a familiar Alabama accent exclaim from what looked like a kitchen. You were very confused. A kitchen? Inside the office building?

“Agent LaSalle!” You exclaimed, extending a hand. You were taken by surprise when Chris pulled you into a hug.

“Finally, ah get to meet 'cha in person!” He exclaimed, and you both laughed.

“I can’t believe you have a kitchen in your building!” You marveled, taking another glance around the room. Everything was historical and beautiful. Back in D.C., everything looked like the stale office building it was.

“Wait until ya see the courtyard! You’re here for that double murder case, I hear. Hey, do ya need a ride to Belle Chasse? I don’t live too far from the Navy Yard, and I can bring you there on ma’ way home,” LaSalle offered.

Before you could respond, Dwayne interjected. “Thanks for the offer, Chris, but I’m helpin’ (y/n) with her file first.”

“Ah can help too, King-”

“Chris, it’s gettin’ late, almost ten o'clock. You’ve been here long enough. Go home, get some rest, and recharge for tomorrow. All of us can help (y/n) with the case when we’re all here,” Pride declared. And that was the end of the conversation.

You gave one last goodbye to LaSalle as he headed out. Soon, it was just you and Pride.

“Ya gotta be uncomfortable in that suit,” Dwayne laughed, and you saw that infectious smile again. The one that gave you the uncontrollable urge to lean over and plant a kiss on his lips.

“It’s alright, I’m used to wearing suits all the time. In fact, the only clothes I brought on this trip are my suits,” you admitted, and Dwayne was taken aback.

“I wish I had somethin’ else for you to wear, but all of ma’ clothes are in my new apartment above the Tru Tone. I’m in the process of moving from upstairs into my new place,” Pride explained.

“Wait, upstairs as in upstairs here?”

“Yep. I’ve lived here for a while, since I got divorced and ma’ daughter left for college. The Tru Tone is ma’ bar, it was tha bar my mother used to sing at when I was younger. I was actually gonna ask if you’d like to come with me tonight. So you can experience a piece New Orleans while you’re down here.”

As good as his offer sounded, you knew you were strictly here to work. And sure it was getting late, but if you were in D.C., you’d be at your desk, working 'til the sun came up. It was just how you ran things.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Dwayne. I should really start investigating,” you responded.

“What about we stop there so I can get you a t-shirt, at least somethin’ for you to sleep in. Then, we can find a quiet table in the back to work at. It’s getting late, ya won’t be able to get much work done other than collectin’ research on the victim.”

“Okay,” you caved, but mostly because your heart lept at the thought of falling asleep wearing Dwayne Pride’s shirt.

-

“Thanks for doing this. You didn’t have to. I would’ve been fine sleeping in my blouse and work pants,” you admitted.

“Oh, nonsense. Louisiana nights can sometimes be just as hot as tha days,” Dwayne explained, “I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

He left, heading upstairs to grab a comfortable shirt for you. You ignored every other signal your brain was sending you as you made your way to the very back of the Tru Tone. It was a Friday night, and everyone was having fun drinking and listening to the live band. Everyone but you.

You had just cracked open the case file when your phone rang. The caller ID was your hotel, which you were set to check into in an hour.

“Hello,” said a voice on the other line, “is this (y/n) (y/l/n)?”

“This is she.”

“I am very sorry to have to call you this close to your check in time, but it seems as if there has been a mix-up. Your room was accidentally double booked.”

“Double booked?”

“There is currently a guest checked into your room, and they aren’t scheduled to leave until tomorrow night. Now we may be able to get you a new room, but there will be another surcharge fee, and you won’t be able to check in until two am, to allow us ample time-”

“That’s okay, I’m sure I can find another place to stay. Thanks anyway,” you said, and hung up the phone. You buried your head in your hands, wondering if anything could possibly make this worse.

“Are you alright?” Dwayne asked, handing you a large, soft shirt, “I looked for anything for your bottom half, but I’ve got nothin’ that would fit 'cha, unfortunately. What’s wrong, (y/n)?”

“My hotel just called me, said they double-booked my room. I wouldn’t be able to check in until two in the morning. I don’t know what to do,” you groaned.

“Well, you’re in luck! Ma’ bed was just delivered yesterday, so I’d like to formally extend you an invitation to stay with me for the night,” Pride offered, waiting expectantly for your answer.

You accepted, and before you knew it, you were being swept upstairs to Pride’s living space. Boxes were strewn around the room, pushed into corners and crevices. But nothing could deny the beauty of the chandeliers and decor. And the balcony, oh the balcony!

“This is so kind of you, Dwayne, but I hate to intrude.”

“Nonsense, you’re makin’ my evening exciting! If it’s alright with you, I’ll pull out some of ma’ tools and make ya some gumbo.”

“But shouldn’t you be down at the bar?” You asked, cautiously. You felt out of place in this beautiful, historical building with the kindest man in all of New Orleans, working at a place with a kitchen in the office. You were familiar with cubicles and orange walls and every investigation done by-the-book. You felt out of place and behind on your work.

“No way, they can handle it without me for a night. For now, ma’ focus is on helping you with this case. Since I’m familiar with Naval operations in Belle Chasse, I should be able to at least outline her day-to-day routine at work. And you’ll be able to fill in the blanks, put yourself in-” Dwayne stopped to read the file, “Lucy Goldstein’s shoes.”

-

“In order to have met her lover, Jim Tolbert, she would’ve had to spent some time in the office building. Could she have done filing work? Possibly even disobeyed orders to step outside of her job and take on another job in order to get close to this man?” You wondered aloud.

“I think it’s more likely that she would’ve asked someone to cover for her, at least while workin’ at Belle Chasse. In the early stages of their relationship, it wouldn’t have been as likely that she’d give up doing her job completely in order to spend time with Petty Officer Tolbert. She would’ve taken baby steps at first, in order to reach her way up to the ultimate defiance,” Dwayne paused, letting you finish his thought.

“Which was giving up her job in order to follow Tolbert. Problem was, she didn’t completely leave the Navy when she went to D.C., so we aren’t sure if she quit or just took a sabbatical,” you added, a yawn following.

“Either option is very probable, and if she didn’t quit or transfer, we won’t be able to find any evidence. So our best move is to talk to those who worked with Petty Officers Goldstein and Tolbert tomorrow, and see if they’ve got any insight into their relationship,” Dwayne finished, waiting for you to respond.

It took him a split second to realize that you were asleep on his shoulder. You looked so beautiful in his shirt with nothing underneath.

The two of you had just spent three hours sorting out personal information on the dead petty officers, eating Pride’s gumbo, and talking about your lives in the moments between. He had known you for many months, in person only a day, but he felt something for you that he hadn’t felt since his ex-wife. It scared him, knowing that you’d be gone by Monday, and he wouldn’t see you again until another case linked D.C. and NOLA together.

Pride closed the file, leaving everything on his dusty coffee table. He was going to sleep on the couch tonight, and you were to sleep in his gloriously comfy king-sized bed.

He picked you up, gentle as could be without exposing your underwear. He accidentally caught a glimpse, feeling ashamed of himself. But they were grey briefs, exactly what he would’ve guessed.

“Dwayne,” you groaned as he lay you on top of his bed. Oh, how he loved your sleepy voice saying his name.

“Yes, darlin’?” he joked.

“You’re sleeping in here tonight. No arguments,” you said, patting the open side of the bed.

Dwayne tucked you in, shut off the light, then crawled under the covers himself, making sure to keep enough distance from you. He was a southern gentleman, that would never change. But who was he to refuse an offer to sleep in his own bed with a pretty girl?

[ekkorn]

hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!

oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o

i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).

the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.

but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands. 

the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live? 

(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.) 

then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone. 

and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.

carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.

then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.

then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm. 

and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)

then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares. 

and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.) 

(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)

then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.

then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest. 

then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.

then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.  

rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.

then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.

then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares. 

and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other. 

+ +

how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?

and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid. 

oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am. 

okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly. 

avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.

hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)

thank you for the ask :) 

[bangbaptan]

*Mature Themes*

Genre: Angst/SMUT/Fluff

Member: Jungkook, mentions of the others

| PT. 1 | PT. 2 | PT. 3 | Pt. 4 |

Word Count: 5.4K

A/N: omg guys idk what i wrote...i’ve already accepted the fact that i’m going to hell but pls enjoy<3 I FEEL LIKE MY SMUT HAS SLIGHTLY IMPROVED IDK... ALSO IM ADDING A PART 4 BC I MISCALCULATED THE LENGTH OF THE STORY

You pulled at your bottom lip with your teeth as you looked wearily down at your phone waiting for it to ring again. Your phone had gone off three times within the last thirty minutes. You couldn’t help but breathe out a heavy sigh of relief when you read the name ‘RM’ instead of ‘Jungkook’.

Since the night you had run out on him, you had been avoiding Jungkook, having needed the time to sort out your feelings. You had consistently cancelled on your scheduled days and opted to meet with your other clients instead. You knew that what you were doing was extremely unprofessional but what was professionalism in a job like this? You could not help your inner turmoil as that night had left you questioning what he truly felt towards you. Were his feelings more lustful desire rather than those of love?  It shouldn’t have mattered to you but it did. In fact, the realization of how important that answer was to you was what prevented you from meeting him. At this point, there was no use in denying the fact that you felt something for him. You had known from the start that this would happen, yet you had let it continue. You should’ve ended things on the first meeting. Things wouldn’t have gotten so messy.

“Hello, RM. How are you?” You asked after picking up.

“I’m fine. What I’m calling about is actually to know how you are?” He sighed, “Jungkook called earlier asking if I could apologize to you for him. Listen, I know it isn’t any of my business but what happened between the two of you?”

“It was nothing worth making a big deal out of…” you trailed off not knowing what else to say. It was the truth after all, something like making out in this business was purely child’s play.

“If that’s the case then why won’t you meet with him anymore?”

Namjoon was too perceptive, he could probably already guess what your problem was but was waiting for you to tell him yourself.

Seeing no good in lying, you confessed, “I developed feelings for him. I know as an escort that is the worst thing I could’ve done but the more time I spent with him, the more it became inevitable. I know it’s my fault and that I should’ve known better but it happened. Cutting things off with him is for the best.”

“For who? For him or for you?”

“For both of us,” you lied. It was really for you. You did not want to risk getting hurt, and at this point, a relationship with him would be full of risks, “anyway, can you please let him know that I won’t be seeing him anymore?”

“I’m not getting involved,” Namjoon said, “this is something the two of you need to work out between yourselves.”

Your lips turned down in a small frown. It was so like Namjoon to not intervene. He often seemed too wise for his age and offered advice better than anyone else you knew. You knew that what he was doing was what he saw as the right thing to do but you still weren’t happy with it.

“Fine,” you muttered, not bothering to hide your disappointment, “what’s your take on this anyway?”  

Namjoon laughed, “there are no rules against escorts being in a relationship with their clients...and that’s all I’m going to say. Good-bye, Y/N.”

As if on cue, the second you hung up on RM, your phone began to ring again and the name you had come to dread seeing was written clearly across the screen.

You can do this Y/N, you tried to convince yourself as you finally swiped to answer. You waited for him to talk with bated breath.

“I’m surprised,” Jungkook said, “I didn’t expect you to actually pick up.”  

You were giddy at having heard his voice after a while and you inwardly cursed at yourself for how easily you reacted to him. Get it together.

“I’m sorry,” is all you said, not really knowing what specifically you were apologizing for, and apparently your uncertainty made Jungkook curious too.

“For what exactly? Suddenly running out on me after getting me hard?” You felt yourself blush, “ Or is it for completely avoiding me? Both with our meetings and my phone calls.”

You bit your lip and instead of answering you asked, “why are you calling?”

“I think you know very well why I’m calling. What exactly did I do to make you so uncomfortable?” He asked and you could tell he was a little hurt by the tone in his voice.

You felt bad, “you didn’t do anything. The other night shouldn’t have happened, I let my emotions get the best of me.”

“It was just a kiss, Y/N,” he said exasperatedly.

“Yes, a kiss that would’ve led to a lot more if we had continued.”

“Nothing that you wouldn’t have wanted. I asked you and was ready to respect whatever decision you made and so when you kissed me back I took it as a yes. Was I wrong?”

“No.”

“Then?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, I just freaked out.”

The curiosity was evident in his voice, “why?”

Your mind easily came up with something to say. A lie with some truth to it, “I’ve done things to clients but I’ve never really let them touch me before.”

“Are you serious?” He breathed, somehow unable to believe it.

You nodded, “Yeah, the most I’ll let them do is grope me over clothes. I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“You can make it up to me by letting me book you again.” He laughed, “how about tonight? Are you free?”

“I actually have an appointment with another client tonight.”

“You can’t cancel?”

You scoffed, “Jungkook.”

You could hear the grin in his voice, “fine. How about tomorrow then?”

-

Moon-sik had decided to take you to an expensive restaurant that night and you felt uncomfortable. You would have much rather gone somewhere more casual. The small portions of food were ridiculous and everything on the menu had a funny name.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages darling,” he mused, “I’ve missed you.”

You smiled, “my schedule has been busy lately, it’s just started to calm down.”

He nodded, “I understand. How about you come sit beside me? I much rather have you near me than across from me.”

You quirked an eyebrow but did as he requested. You came to regret your decision of obedience seconds after. You had not been sitting for even a minute before you felt one of his meaty hands on your thigh.

You laughed, trying to mask your distaste, “what are you doing?”

Unfortunately, he took your laugh as encouragement and moved his hand higher, “You’re so beautiful. Much more beautiful than my wife.”

You grimaced, “Moon-sik, you love your wife.”

“I do,”  he hummed, “but I love your youthful body more.”

You began to feel more and more uncomfortable as the seconds passed by, “we’re at a restaurant, Moon-sik.”

“Doesn’t that make things more exciting? I’ll pay you double,” he bribed, trying to convince you to agree to his adulterous desires.

You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded softly, “okay.”

His cheeky grin made you want to run but you let him guide your hand to the growing bulge in his pants. He let go of your hand as he discreetly unzipped his fly, before wrapping your fingers around his small length.

Your cheeks burned dark pink in shame but, once again, he took it as a sign of your enjoyment, “that’s it darling, just like that.”

You quickened the pace of your hand and you were not sure what at that moment made you look up but you did and locked eyes with a very familiar set of chocolate brown eyes. Your eyes visibly widened as Jungkook held your stare. You noticed a man sitting across from him and quickly realized it was Taehyung. Of all places, you cursed. You couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment you felt. He knew exactly what was going on. There was no way he didn’t.

The sudden sound of a low groan beside you is what finally broke your staring contest. Turning to look at the man beside you, you tried to rid all thoughts of Jungkook at that moment. You were with another client.

“S-shit,” he muttered under his breath and it was then that you realized he was close. However, before he could even tell you, you heard someone clear their throat.

Your eyes flew up and if you didn’t already want to disappear you sure as hell did now. Why the fuck did he come over?

“Can I help you?” Moon-sik asked, slight irritation in his voice from having had his climax interrupted.

“I was wondering if I could speak to her,” he said signalling in your direction. You held your breath.

Moon-sik’s eyes raked over the younger man before turning to look at you, “do you know him?”

Your throat suddenly felt dry not knowing what the right way to respond was. Both men were looking at you expectantly. Your eyes met Jungkook’s and you knew you couldn’t face him right now.  You quickly redirected your eyes back to Moon-sik, “I don’t. He must’ve mistaken me for someone else.”

You looked up at Jungkook with a fake polite smile and you saw his eyes narrow, “the lady must be right. Sorry about that.”

After returning to his seat, you silently let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding.

“Let’s go,” Moon-sik said as readjusted himself under the table, “I want to cum in your mouth.”

Following closely behind him, you could feel Jungkook’s burning stare on the back of your skull and it took every last bit of your self-control to not look back.

-

You had just finished washing up when your phone began to buzz. 

“Hello,” you said, trying to keep your voice as even as possible.

“Y/N,” Jungkook slurred.

Your eyebrows scrunched together, “Jungkook, are you drunk?”

“Y-yes. No. Maybe a little.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” You asked hoping that he was nearby.

“Heshe’s gone to shleep.”

He was home then. You felt better knowing he was somewhere safe, “Jungkook drink some water and go to sleep.”

“No,” he said defiantly, his voice sounded almost childlike.

You rolled your eyes, “Jungkook you’re drunk and you need to sleep. Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, suddenly sounding sober he said, “come over.”

“It’s one in the morning Jungkook,” you tried to reason with him.

“Come or I’ll run around outside naked.”

You let out a hearty laugh after hearing his ridiculous threat, “I don’t understand how that affects me.”

“It does-sn’t.” He hiccuped, “but you’re too nice to let me humiliate myshelf like that.”

“I don’t know about that,” you said playfully.

“You owe it to me for pretending not to know me.”

Reminded again of what had happened earlier, you frowned, “I was with another client.”

“Come over,” he repeated, having paid no attention to your explanation.

You sighed at his persistence, “fine.”

You sent Hoseok a quick text and hurried to get ready.

-

“Well you're dressed awfully casual,” is the first thing  Hoseok pointed out.

“Well this isn't exactly a formal meeting,” you said, moving towards the car. However, just before you opened the door you paused briefly seeing a new face sitting in the passenger’s seat. The woman was beautiful and must have been the same age as you. You looked at Hoseok silently asking for an introduction.

He looked confused for a couple of seconds before finally catching on.

“Ah! Sorry!” He exclaimed, “This is my girlfriend. We were on our way back from our date when you texted.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You said apologetically, “I didn’t mean to interrupt! I  can find another way to get there.”

His girlfriend laughed and her smile almost matched the brightness of Hoseok’s, “don’t worry about it. I honestly don’t mind.”

Hoseok hummed grabbing your attention, “so where am I headed? Who are you meeting?”

“Um,” you hesitated. You knew his curiosity would be piqued, “Jungkook.”

You watched as his lips turned into a mischievous smile, “aha.”

You narrowed your eyes. You were expecting him to have said more, “aren't you curious?”

His smile widened, “should I be? Last time I asked, I recall you telling me nothing happened.”

Hoseok’s girlfriend turned around, “don’t worry about me. Pretend I’m not here.”

Her probing smile caused your resolve to crumble, “we kissed.”

Hoseok made a noise of disappointment, “wait. Is that all you did? You’re telling me that you avoided him for that long and you guys didn’t even fuck?” He breathed a sigh in false annoyance, “I’m disappointed.”

“I’m sorry for not living up to your expectations,” you laughed.

He just shook his head, “if your reaction to a kiss was that drastic, I take it you like him? Is this a booty call then?”

Amused you said, “no. He’s drunk and started acting like a brat, insisting I come over.” You could tell he didn’t fully believe you, but you didn’t bother trying to convince him otherwise.

Driving up the familiar driveway, you began to feel a little nervous; You hadn’t seen Jungkook in weeks.

Before getting out of the car Hoseok gave you a wink, “send me a text if you don’t intend on going home tonight.”

You glowered at him and his girlfriend laughed, “it was nice meeting you. I hope things go well!”

Thanking her, you got out and began making your way to the estate’s door. Just as you were about to ring the bell, the door shot open.

“Finally,” Jungkook breathed and your eyes widened at his frazzled state. Not giving you a chance to respond, he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you quickly inside. He must’ve not been as drunk as when he first called you as you noticed his walk being pretty balanced.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he began leading you upstairs. You had never been on the second floor.

“Bedroom,” is all he replied and just as you were about to ask ‘why’, he suddenly turned around. You came to a quick halt, nearly slamming right into him. You looked up at him, “are you okay? Do you feel like vomiting?”

His eyes were a little unfocused as he shook his head. You looked at him waiting for whatever it was he wanted, jumping a little in surprise when his fingers suddenly touched your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled before drawing his hand back and continuing the trek to his room. You stood still a few seconds, puzzled by how he was acting, before hurrying to follow him. Passing room after room, you marvelled at the size of the house. Still in awe, you barely noticed when he led you inside his room, shutting the door right after.

Looking at him, you found him already staring at you. You began to feel awkward as time went by with nothing said.

“Did you let that man fuck you?” He blurted suddenly.

“Of course not. How about you go to sleep?” You said, trying to ease the tension but he wasn’t having it.

“Did he touch you?” You didn’t answer.

“Answer me,” he said in a more serious tone that compelled you to respond.

“Yes, but barely.”

After hearing your answer, Jungkook closed most of the distance between the two of you. His eyes scanned the entirety of your body, “where? Where did he touch you?”

You didn’t understand what had gotten into him,  “Jungkook, what’s this about?”

However, your refusal to answer only agitated him more and he cupped your cheek, “here?”

“No.”

“Here?” He said suddenly lowering his head to kiss your neck. Your eyes involuntarily fluttered shut and you should’ve pushed him away then but you didn’t, “no.”

His lips began to trail down the length of your neck, lips moving lower and lower until he was inches away from your breasts. Hearing your sudden intake of breath he kissed you over the fabric.  His eyes flickered up to yours, “here?”

You urged your lips to move but they didn’t. Your silence more than answered his question though. You had only thrown on a t-shirt and a pair of shorts before heading to see him but you had started to wish you had worn more layers. Jungkook was looking at you as if you were a meal and you wanted to cower from the intensity of his gaze. You felt a warmth beginning to creep between your thighs.

Summoning all that was left of your willpower, you stepped away from him. You felt your mind clear after putting some distance between the two of you.

“You’re drunk Jungkook, you're not making conscious decisions right now. Come on,” you encouraged, “you have work tomorrow, go to bed.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m buzzed.”

You quickly searched your mind for a way out of this, “Jungkook, I already told you I-.”

“Yes, I remember your fucking policy,” he growled, “and it’s driving me insane.”

You were silent and he took this chance to close the distance between the two of you again, “You’d be lying if you told me that you didn’t feel the same way.”

“That doesn’t cha-” Before you could finish your sentence he captured your lips in his. You were seconds away from giving in, you knew this and so did he. Drawing back you saw his dilated pupils, “please don’t make this harder for me.”

Lowering his head, he whispered hotly against your ear, “why are you being so stubborn about this?”

“I-i” you tried to keep down a sigh, “ I just don’t think-”

“Feel me,” he said grabbing your hand and placing it over the growing bulge straining against the material of his pants, “all you’ve done is stand there and I’m already this hard. Can’t you see how much I need you? Please.”

The second you heard the slight begging in his voice, you knew you had lost. Any thoughts of caution or reason were thrown out the window. You were putty in his hands now. This time when he bent to kiss you, you responded, eagerly moving your lips against his. Slipping in your tongue, you deepened the kiss and wrapped your hands around his neck pulling him closer. You wanted him. You had wanted him for so long now.  A small strangled moan left his lips when you lowered one of your hands to feel him over his pants again.

When he pulled back you were both panting, out of breath. He rested his forehead on yours as he tried to catch his breath, “tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.”

You felt yourself blush, “I want you Jungkook. I need you.”

Ripping his head away from yours he muttered a curse before he carried you and threw you down on his bed. The mattress made for a soft landing and the satin fabric felt cool against your flushed skin.

He was in the process of taking off his shirt when he looked up at you with a warning, “you’re not running away this time. I won’t let you.”

You could only respond with a soft nod. Your throat suddenly dry, you swallowed and felt the familiar heat building between your legs. You could nearly feel yourself salivating at the delicious sight of his sun-kissed skin and nicely toned abs. How was it possible for a man to be that attractive?

You hadn't realized that you were openly gawking at him until he let out a chuckle. You could feel embarrassment burning your cheeks.

“Take off your shirt for me,” he instructed and you gave no thought as you did as he said. Your mind was full of regrets when you realized your boring lingerie. If you had known this would happen you would’ve worn something much sexier.

“It’s better that you didn’t wear anything fancy,” he said as if reading your thoughts, “I would’ve just ripped them right off, like what I'm about to do with those you have on now.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine at his threat and you couldn’t help but rub your thighs together, in hope of receiving some relief. Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook.

With a devilish grin painted across his face he sauntered towards you, “are you that impatient baby girl?” Seeing his predatory eyes locked on yours, your only response was a breathless nod. You naturally scooted back when the bed finally dipped to accommodate his weight.

Grabbing your legs, he slid your body closer to him. He crawled on top of you brushing the hair out of your face. Dipping his head, he kissed you, gently at first but progressively more fervent. Your hands explored his new exposed skin. His muscles were taut under your touch and he was radiating heat.

Staying true to his word, he impatiently slid a hand under you to unhook your bra, ripping it right off you when the chance presented itself. Pulling away from you, he peppered kisses all along your torso, his roaming hands slowly creeping closer and closer to your centre. He took one of your perked buds and rolled it in his mouth as his finger hooked on to your shorts and slid them off. Moving his mouth’s attention to your other breast, you didn’t know what to do with your hands so you let them lose themselves in the locks of his hair.

“Jungkook,” you let out, “stop teasing.”

He hummed against your skin, “when’s the last time someone’s fucked you?”

“God,” you moaned when a finger ran down your covered slit, “it’s been so long I can’t remember.”

The admission makes him release a moan of his own, “so wet, fuck. You must be so tight. How do you expect to take my cock?”

With your hands you pulled his head closer and placed your lips by his ear, “I don’t-unless you help me. Help me Jungkook, get me ready for you.”

With a strangled moan, he pulled away from you to impatiently tug down your soiled panties nearly ripping them right off in his rush. He was now eye-level with your throbbing core as he laid himself between your legs and your hands unconsciously moved to cover yourself. He immediately caught them and shot you a look, “don’t you dare try to hide yourself. I’ve been dying to taste you since that night.”

Using his free hand, he further spread open your legs. He used his fingers to spread you apart and gave you no warning at the first stroke of his tongue. His tongue stroked you gently a couple times before he began lapping at your juices like a starved man, leaving you a moaning mess.

Only the sound of slurping rang through the room and the sound was so erotic, it only made you wetter. You inhaled sharply when his tongue began to tease at your clit. Moving his tongue wildly about, your hands gripped the silky sheets to stop yourself from touching him, a series of moans falling from your lips.

“Ah-” You exclaimed when one of his fingers began to tease at your entrance. He took his time circling around your hole making you squirm in anticipation.

“Fuck!” You cried when he began to suck on your bundle of nerves and sheathed a finger inside you. You hadn't been touched in so long that even the small stretch felt delicious. His finger remained motionless as your walls contracted around his digit waiting for you to calm down before beginning a steady pump.

You could feel your climax building, and it became harder to quiet your cries of pleasure. In the back of your mind, you tried to remind yourself that Taehyung was home but that only seemed to excite you further. Your sounds were music to Jungkook's ears and he added another finger stretching you out even further.

Your hands moved on their own and tangled themselves in his hair. Your thighs threatened to shut and smother his face but his free hand kept them at bay. The rhythm of his fingers sped up, eventually hitting somewhere that made you almost lose your mind. From your response, he knew he had found your sweet spot and began aiming his fingers to hit it each time they pumped back in.

It all became too much and you found yourself quickly tumbling towards your release. His name along with curses fell from your lips as your orgasm ripped through you. His tongue licked at the new juices and his fingers continued to help you ride out your high.

He waited for your shallow breathing to normalize before pulling his fingers out. Your walls immediately missed the feeling of fullness they gave you. His lips and chin glistened with the remnants of your orgasm and locking eyes with you, he slipped his fingers inside his mouth before releasing them with an obnoxious pop. You swore that the sight itself nearly made you cum again.

“You taste amazing,” he expressed as he crawled back up your body and gave you a sloppy kiss, making you taste yourself.

Pushing his shoulders back, you moved your hands to unzip his pants but his hand halted you.

“So impatient,” he scolded with a reprimanding glare, “if you keep this up I won’t let you cum again.” The threat kept you from moving. Jungkook seemed to revel in your obedience and began to trace a finger down your body, his finger leaving a trail of fire wherever it passed. You shivered when his finger ran down a breast, applying more pressure as he passed your nipple.

“God,” you breathed, “you’re such a fucking tease.”

His finger immediately stopped and his fingers lifted your chin to face him, “what did you say?”

“You’re a fucking tease,” you pouted.

His eyes were pools of black, “get on your knees.”

You hesitated, the minx in you wanted to see just how much he’d let you get away with. When he realized you had no intentions of moving, he descended down your body and his mouth was on your cunt again. A little shocked at the suddenness you let out a choked breath. Having had enough time to calm down from your previous orgasm, he spared you no gentleness. This time, he inserted two fingers at once making you yelp in surprise to the stretch. His fingers found your g-spot almost immediately and he continuously pounded his digits into you, curving them so they’d hit the rough patch each time. You found it incredible how well he already seemed to know your body.

“Ah-fuck!” It took less time for you to feel the tightening knot in your stomach. He laid his free arm on your hips, attempting to stop their squirming. He then lowered his mouth to suck on your clit, nipping at it as his lips released it. Both his tongue and fingers were quickly pushing you towards your end. You knew you were close when he suddenly added a third finger making you feel incredibly full. You thrashed above him, urging him to stop but he didn’t until he felt your walls start to contract around him. But, before you found your release he pulled away both his mouth and fingers from you, leaving you a needy mess under him.

You whipped your head to glare up at him, “wh-  

He didn’t let you finish your complaint, “if you want to cum, you better get on your knees. Now.”

A sudden memory of the night you first met flashed through your head. You suddenly thought of something, “yes, master.” You didn’t even wait to see his reaction before turning around on all fours.

You heard him curse quietly as he got off the bed. The sound of his pants and belt hitting the floor rang through the room. When you felt the bed dip again, you must have been shaking in anticipation. He gave your cheeks a good squeeze before settling a hand on your waist. A whisper of a moan escaped you when you felt his tip teasing your entrance. He slowly entered you, taking his time to let you adjust to the size. Fuck, he was big.  

He laid his chest against your back and you could feel him slightly tremble from the effort it was to go slow.

“Are you okay?” He shuddered against your ear as he slipped in deeper

Eyes fluttered shut, you simply nodded but he seemed to want more, “use words. Call me by that name again.”

As an impish smile grazed your lips, you felt the grip on your waist tighten. This only added to your feeling of triumph, “I’m okay, master.”

Hearing the name again, you felt him shudder against you and becoming impatient he sheathed his full length into your cunt leaving you breathless.

“Move,” you moaned when you noticed the lack of motion.

He bit your shoulder, “I’m going to fuck you senseless.”

“You’re all bark and no bite,” you teased and that was all that was needed to end the little bit of self-restraint he still had. He pulled his length nearly all the way out you before he thrust his hips back against yours. His pace was relentless right from the very start and you knew you had struck a nerve. You wanted to laugh from giddiness but he barely gave you time to think as he continuously slammed his hips into yours. Your knees buckled at a specifically rougher thrust, and if not for the arm holding you, your body would have collapsed. Your mind was freed from all thoughts when his tip found your g-spot. Your body’s reactions were out of your control from the immense pleasure he was administrating.

Having earlier been denied your second orgasm, you felt yourself quickly reaching your high again. You arched your back, flushing your bodies together even more and lifted a hand behind you to grab his hair.

“Ma-master,” you stuttered, “I’m close.”

“Don’t cum until I tell you.”

You bit your lip as you nodded. Prolonging your climax became harder and harder and your thighs began to shake from the effort. Your walls convulsed, your body practically begging for its release. You thought you couldn’t hold off much longer when you noticed Jungkook’s uneven breathing. He was close. His hips buckled into yours when you purposely squeezed your walls tighter against his length.

“Turn your head towards me, Y/N,” he shakily said with a groan.

It was a bit of a stretch but you managed and seeing the opportunity, Jungkook kissed you roughly. Letting your lips go with a bite, he said what you had been dying to hear, “cum.”

He angled his hips so his dick would repeatedly hit against your sweet spot, his hands reached down your body to roughly rub at your clit. You let out an uncontainable scream as your orgasm ripped through you. All throughout your release, Jungkook kept thrusting into you and shortly after your release, you felt his hips suddenly twitch.

“That’s right baby,” you cooed, “cum for me.” He let out a higher pitched moan than you had heard all night, and in seconds his seed was filling you. Both your bodies were shaking from the power of your highs and it took a couple of minutes for your bodies to calm down. Once your uneven breath had settled, Jungkook slid his length from out of you. With nothing holding it back now, his release trailed down your thighs. Your body fell flush against the comfort of the plush mattress, Jungkook soon joining your limp body. You were completely drained.

“You’re so rough,” you croaked, your throat sore from screaming.

Jungkook chucked, “it’s your fault for provoking me.”

“It felt incredible though,” you admitted a bit shyly, your untimely bashfulness making him laugh again.

He didn’t reply but you felt Jungkook leave the bed. You were too tired to ask where he was going. You had shut your eyes when you heard Jungkook return. A small smile graced your lips when you felt him gently clean the mess between your legs. After he was finished, he lay behind you draping an arm across your waist, pulling you closer. Your body was happily humming as you snuggled back into him. The smile never left your lips as you fell asleep.

A/N pt.2: Depending on how well this story is received I might do little spin-off series based on this. I already left an opening for Hoseok hueheuheu

[riskeith]

aside from that, ur graphics must look incredible! i’ve seen some comparison pics and pc graphics are God Tier. help the second lowest being “high”... good riddance. 😶

summer 2016! it seems so long ago like a whole different universe. everything was so beautiful back then.. everybody was out and about hunting pokémon’s... that zine is so cute! i wouldn’t say main i actually only got into them a little while ago and i’m still mostly tddk and kiribaku but bkdk is interesting.. to say the least. i haven’t seen what happens in the manga (only a bit of spoilers especially that cover...) and s4 didn’t give us That many scenes with them but i’m keeping my eyes open... wbu?

IDK like their descriptions make it seem like they might help you find some specific treasures??? like the gold seelie giving you fortune aka mora? not sure tho hehe... YEAH THAT FANART!!! so cute i wanna eat them all.. forbidden snack. 🥺 omg funny you mention that... i met xiao just earlier for the first time and when i saw his entire outfit i was like.. hm i wonder what he would look like in darker clothing HAHA. but yeah skins would be awesome!!!! like a clothing shop or smth somewhere????? anyway when i saw him i was like HEY that’s cluna’s boy!

ALBEDO IS A BAD BITCH. his hair is perfect perfect perfect. actually everything about him is so perfect he’s just a delicate little guy... 🥺 dude us talking about albedo and opening up the game and seeing his banner is like... 👀 temptation.

with venti??? i’m not sure which quest you mean i did the archon one with him though and it was awesome. does he have more? I DID LOOK IT UP AND MURASE IS MAKING HIS VOICE EVEN HIGHER AND IT’S SO CUTE I WISH I KNEW IT BEFOREHAND SO I COULD’VE HEARD HIS VOICE WHILE DOING THE MISSION. 😭 oh well 😭

hopefully there are some good 4 stars too. who are you wishing for? anyone special? imagine having xingqiu and chongyun.... that’s like the dream. and bennett and razor and you have the boy scout party haha!! do you have mostly claymore users?

i remember you mentioning you don’t like book users but i’ve actually really grown to love them hehe. their long range attacks are so nice and handy! KAZE DA! 😭 bro stop i literally have a crush on venti it’s ridiculous.. imagine closing ur eyes and talking and it’s his voice.... (OR HINATA!!!) murase is so lucky... he seems like such a great guy too ajsksjdk..

ok friends to lovers goodness! 🥺 i’m considering getting twitter just to see fanart... maybe.. o.o

ooooo that’s so thorough! in all caps caught my attention, why do you do that? personally, if it’s something longer i write bulletpoints of the concept but never like... actual plot yk? i’ve tried before but i doesn’t work for me very well. so.. i wing it! and like you i just get inspired randomly, it could be from song lyrics or thinking about tropes i enjoy. 😜

loona is cool! they have this whole story about their group. i highly recommend checking them out! i wonder if they kept it up though lmao. oh yeah everyone loves hozier he just speaks to the soul.. LOVELY IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!!! LIKE EASILY TOP SONGS OF MY LIFE!!! it makes me so happy that you like it even if you skip it lmaojsjdjsjsjdk and i like billie a lot!! ariana too she has great music.., idk if you’ve heard of the group the neighborhood but i like them too. lana del rey as well! haha guess it’s super basic stuff tbh. all of them with mostly slow songs.. sorry 😭

OK GOOD. all nighters are honestly horrible. i don’t get how people can pull them off and get things done... (hopefully you never have to either!) YEAH haha 8 am is my favorite hour i think... that and 9 pm. they’re just special. what’s your favorite time of day? listen if you stay up to read fics that’s valid. midnight up is like the perfect time to read fics it makes them appear more magical sjdkdhdk.

i hope i caught you today but if not, hope you’re sleeping well babe! ♥️

sorry i was playing genshin! JFKSNXKSNKSJ i started before 12am and before i knew it it was already 1am… my goodness

and yeah i watched this vid comparing the graphic quality settings (i play on the default one) and i was like??? people really be playing like this? LOL can’t relate

edit: missed this paragraph oops but yeah what a time 2016 was! (lmao voltron started that year iirc) i remember we had an athletics event and legit everyone was on their phones jfksnfksnd. oooo! nice tddk and krbk are very good very nice. and also yeah that cover lol i love that you didn’t even have to specify which one i just Know. hmm i think rn bkdk would be one of the top ships i’m interested in aside from todobaku? they just have so much history ya know? and they have a lot of moments in the second movie! oh wait did you know that there are movies? two of them in fact!! the kiribaku is pretty strong in the first one (but there are some todobaku moments too lol). and there are a few OVAs too. WAIT are you all caught up with the anime? can’t rmemeber if you’ve told me or not 😫

oooo if that were the case tho what would the others give? i did like the “sea blue” description or something of the blue one tho 😩 YOU WANNA EAT THEM FJDJCJSKNCSKJCKSNXJS NO!!! but i can understand.. they look very squishy. THAT’S MY BOY!!!!!! honoured you thought of me <33 yo i was also wondering what chongyun would look like in darker clothes too HDKSKDN see this is why i need to learn how to draw.… gotta put them in the clothes i want since we can’t do that in game!! but a shop would be so cute omg

JFKSKSKAKS i’ve legit been staying away from opening the wish menu as much as i can.… it’s too tempting i can’t!!

yeah the archon one is what i meant sorry! forgot the name for it lol. and yes there is! once you reach AR 35 or something you can unlock story quests and venti is one of them 👀👀 RIPPPP BUT AT LEAST YOU KNOW NOW 😭😭

i think just xingqiu rn!! i’ve been holding off ascending barbara in hopes of getting him, bc i grinded some oceanid (literally the worst fucking boss ever) before i ascended so i’m just hoarding those materials rn fjskdnd. yesss the boy scouts 😭🥺 but i heard chongyun and razor’s elemental skills cancel each other out so rip.. hmm i did a count and i think i have 3 each of claymore and catalyst users! hbu?

omg nooooo betrayal 😭 tho ngl i’m considering using ningguang bc i see people play her so well.. so i’m just carrying her around in my team hoping to passively level her up HAHAHA. i def appreciate their long range attacks too, lisa’s burst especially is quite nice. CHJDKSKD that’s so cute but also very relatable 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺 also did you know murase is like tall af it’s kinda crazy lol

there’s /so/ much good fanart!!! it’s where i’m getting a taste of all the ships too lol but yeah there’s angst and fluff and just charas looking s*xy they’ve got it all 😩 but that also reminds me, like most other big fandoms genshin fandom is kinda fkn shit 😔 once again i’m thankful to myself for keeping such a small circle lmaooooo

honestly i don’t know either?? i think it helps me distinguish between what i’m actually writing vs what i’m planning like if i do something like “JUMPS OFF PLATFORM, LANDS IN FRONT. so, are you going to introduce me or do i have to do it myself ETC THEN THEY TALK SUDDENLY there’s the sound of a windchime, and VILLAINS HERE GOTTA FIGHT” it’ll look something like that jdjsndkskd where the lowercase is exact dialogue I wanna write in but the caps is just planning

but winging it ey that’s hot of you 🤪 god do you ever just like thinking about potential ideas before falling asleep but then your phone is far away/you don’t wanna hurt your eyes looking at a screen but then you’re also afraid you’ll forget the idea DJKSXKSK

:o! i think i stayed away bc of the whole “stan loona” thing DHSKKS but i might give them another shot! therefore i am is one of my go to songs rn hehe i really like the beats she uses they’re so funky. i don’t really like ariana sorry FJDJKSKS but she does have a lot of bangers!! side to side… 😘👌 and i do know the neighbourhood! sweater weather is so iconic but lately i’ve been skipping that too aahah. but have you heard daddy issues slowed? oh my god. that singlehandedly started my obsession with slowed songs (ironic isn’t it when you consider i don’t listen to normal slow songs fjsjdj) i like summertime sadness from lana! and young and beautiful too (the radio songs AHAH) but yeah.. they’re slow fjdkksks. how do you feel about halsey + melanie martinez + bastille? (i’m always paranoid about listing artists bc so many get cancelled or what other and i feel like randos are gonna come for me too JDKSKSKA.) oh and troye sivan!! and pentatonix if you’ve heard of them? i was obsessed with those two back in 2015 ahaha

omg crazy.. how!! hm my favourite hour is maybe 12pm? or 2pm? just some time in the afternoon i like when it’s still light outside but it’s also like “after school” time kinda .. and yesss reading fic at late hours… gets me crying more easily 🤪

i don’t think i’ll catch your next reply so goodnight in advance!! hope your day is great <3

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes?

Next, @emiralnova (Ryu on Discord) stopped in to talk about her Resbang, Soul Eater: A New Madness Consumes? Here’s some of what went down:

Q: What made you think of the plot? Did you know how you were going to end it before you started writing? (I really loved the canceling out concept).

Ryu: Lolololol what is plot? I didn’t have too much of a plan going in. I had their mission sorta laid out, but after the mission I winged it. I feel that writing this was a tad difficult because I wanted to stay in canon and omg never again lol, but it was really fun and satisfying towards the end.

Q: Do you feel like your writing style grew/improved while writing? Was there anything you wish you could have included or that you cut out?

Ryu: I think I improved a little just by the act of writing, which I need to do more of, lol. And I think it was jaded who mentioned “what happened to Maka's christmas gift?” and that kinda got lost in the end, my bad lol.

Q: Do you have any favorite beta comments you’d like to share?

Ryu: Omg there was one thing that marsh said: 'Be the laxative Soul.'

Q: Was music important to your process at all, and if so, are there any songs/playlists that were relevant?

Ryu: I tend to not listen to music when I write cause it distracts me. Unless it fits the mood I need. But usually, no music.

Q: What are you most proud of in this bang?

Ryu: I think I’m really proud of what I did with the mission to the moon and rescuing Crona. Like, I had to plan out what I wanted and it was like a few days before posting, so I crunched it out. And I pulled the whole cancel out and 8 kishin horcruxes out of my ass, but it worked out.

Q: What are you working on next?

Ryu: I am working on nothing writing-related atm.

Q: Was there anything in mind that you wanted to do with the Christmas gift? :0 Like, if the notion hadn't slipped away?

Ryu:  I sorta wanted a more romantic scene to happen and it was supposed to happen before Maka collapsed. But that scene ran away from me so it didn’t work out ^^"

Q: Okay your villain was so interesting, how did you come up with that concept?

Ryu: Oh, the wizard. So like during my first Resbang, I had a dream that basically took place in Brazil at the monolith and there was a guy that was there and was speaking mysterious words to Maka, and that is sorta what I pulled on the entire first mission. His design is slightly based on that one antagonist in BNHA. Slade? Shade? I forgot his name. STAIN, HIM.

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/263055402583851008/409538871441883138/tumblr_o9sua1jpR61vux8v6o3_400.gif

Ryu: Like his posture and hair and skin were the same. [He’s] maybe less thug and more old and evil.

Q: What's your writing process like?

Ryu: I definitely work better when I plot out my shit point by point, so if I were to deviate, it can happen but at least I had a point for the scene. And it was hard cause of laziness buttt the checkins really helped me decide what would actually happen.

Q: Is there anything you wish you could change?

Ryu: I kinda wished I had more time so that I could maybe have a better ending. I feel like the cancelling out was good for the circumstances, but it felt like cheating to me, but it largely worked out and I was ok with it.

Q: Why the amazon?

Ryu: Hmm idk. I think the guy I liked at the time was half Brazilian so I just… made it so. But it wasn’t done in the fandom yet, so I felt that Brazil was a safe place to host my mission. And I also pictured tons of trees and tropical areas. So… Brazil.

Q: Who is the Wizard? Does he have a real name? Is he actually Mabaa's brother?

Ryu: I didn’t have a real name for him. And it’s rumored but not confirmed, like I said in the fic.

Q: Do you think your view on characters changed or anything as you wrote?

Ryu: I felt like I was stretching Maka’s mindset during her fall out but it was okay? I think? Whenever I think of Maka, I tend to imagine her as like this brave, no nonsense sorta girl that wouldn't really let her emotions hold her back? At least that is what I struggled with this whole fic. But I think I did the best I could to try to make it realistic, and I think that sort of helped balance Soul out because he seemed to be the most put-together of the two. And I sorta drew my inspo from the sloth chapter from the manga to help me cement some of Maka's guilt.

Q: Did you have a fav moment in the fic. Mine is def chew toy Soul.

Ryu: Omg I love that part. I feel like my favorite part would be Crona and Maka reuniting. I think I teared up a little writing that scene. I felt guilty about Rag. Like, I wanted to save him too, but the black blood held me back.

Q: I really liked that he did the good thing in the end though. Like, he actually gave a shit.

Ryu: I struggled with that at first cause I didn't just want to get rid of him for no reason other than the blood thinning or something. I think it would've redeemed his character a little, so I was really happy with that. The ending for me somehow pulled itself together at the last minute lol.

Q: Were there any parts you had to rewrite? :0 And if so, why?

Ryu: Ughhh so the fic started with Spartoi waking up as animals??? That was the original beginning, and that was supposed to lead into the Brazil mission. But when I started to plot the story out, the story turned out much darker than I intended and so the beginning didn't fit anymore. So i had to start from scratch. At some point I wanted to rewrite first half so that the story became more linear than having the flashback, but I didn't have time for it. ^^" I did rewrite some paragraphs, but that was basic editing. I found that later, when I was in the writing process, there were some passages that were weak and long, so I cut a lot of stuff out, and rewrote them to fit the tone.

Q: Was there a scene that was your least fave to write?

Ryu: I feel like the Death Room meetings dragged me, but I had to do it. Also I have a thing where the death room is the place to spam info into dialogue. So in the future, I kinda want to deviate from the room for more nuanced info dumps

Q: I love that you dealt with witch relations and all those post canon dynamics, was that always the plan?

Ryu: i sort of wanted to play with all the things that happened after the manga happened, so it just worked out that the witches were there and I was dealing with magic/kishin stuff lol. And that Kid would need to prove himself somehow. I think Kid ended up being more of a central character than I intended, but he is a Shinigami after all lol. I wish I did more with Black Star and Tsubaki, but I have trouble writing them. ^^"

Q: What would you have done with B*S and Tsu, any ideas? :0

Ryu: Hmmm, I wish i could've used them as more plot devices instead of comic relief. Like maybe Black Star could've been more involved with... idk, something serious lololol. In which then Tsubaki would also come into play. I figured if anything, he would at least be there to give some advice and common sense in a funny way :D

Q: How did you come up with the whole cutting up Asura thing? And btw I love that it's acknowledged in fic how gruesome it is.

Ryu: Hmm I’m not sure how it happened but I knew I needed something to happen to Asura once he fell, and my instant reaction was 'cut him up into pieces.' We needed some blood in here, and the spreading it across everywhere sorta made sense as well to me. I didn't intend for it to be like 7 horcruxes, but it [was]. Whoopsss, sorry JKR lol. So yeah, it was mostly a kneejerk reaction. Because if the skin bag didn't work, well ok, let’s cut him up then lol. And he's immortal as well, so Kid had to do something!

Q: Do you think you'll do Resbang next year or any other big projects? :D It sounds like you grew and learned so much from it!

Ryu: I don’t have any active plans. I do have a few AUs on a list but they're hard affffff. Like Evangelion AU. That universe is like a trip and a half, so I don’t think I’m ready for that yet lol. In the meantime, I’m still mulling over my own OC universe I've sat on for ages. But who knows what'll happen this year. We'll see.

---

Thanks to Ryu for stopping by! Stay tuned for more transcripts!

[super-rainbows]

tnhrbfvcwec

Rainbow: check how long it’s been since we last did this

Ethan: About 1.5 months, but about 3 months(?) since we were doing it kinda consistently. To be fair, you do both have twitter, so there’s that.

Rainbow: yeah, I guess, but 1 of us talking into the void is different from 2 or all of us talking together. oh yeah, since we mentioned this in the last conversation post: lol @. the psychiatrist being like “oh, you’re incapable of feeling happy or enjoying anything and you’re constantly anxious? oh well, you stopped taking codeine so you’re basically fine”.

Ethan: It’s like a paradox: If I am getting high, people are like “well, you need to stop getting high first before we can try to solve anything”, but now that I’m not, they’re like, “well, you’re not getting high anymore, so nothing else matters”. Dx

Rainbow: the self medicating with st john’s wort thing seems to be working, though. so at least there’s that.

Ethan: *shrugs*

Rainbow: to me it’s a good thing. I mean 1. it’s actually helping, and 2. you’re taking 1/3 of the recommended dose of a herbal supplement. like nobody can call that dangerous or anything, lol.

Jamie: Theoretically they could criticise mixing it with the mood stabiliser thing, since that’s clearly amplifying it. And obviously also be careful mixing it with anything else.

Ethan: Yeah, I know.

Rainbow: is it a thing that you can’t mix weed with ssris, or is that just you, or does weed just fuck you up horribly in general?

Ethan: I don’t know. The last one is definitely true anyway, but yeah, I’m not sure. Either way, it’s not like it was a bad experience. It would’ve been better if I’d been with people I knew better, but it was still fine.

Rainbow: I don’t think anything can really improve the experience of losing like all sensory processing ability.

Ethan: It was mostly auditory, and I don’t have the best auditory processing to begin with, and there were definitely multiple people all talking at the same time with music in the background.

Rainbow: yeah but it hadn’t been quite as much of a completely incoherent mess. like either way I’m starting to think it’s weed that fucks up your memory more than anything else (well, when you mix it with other things).

Jamie: To be fair, it could be like, a combination of x number of things and weed tends to be the one pushing it over the edge. idk though.

Rainbow: yeah, I’m not sure. I mean it’s hard to know what different times all had in common if you can’t really remember them. XD though actually you don’t remember last Thursday night super well either, do you?

Ethan: Just from like 3am to 5am ish. Which I think kinda points to the “x number of things” theory, since I think that was around the time I took more codeine or caffeine pills or something.

Rainbow: lol. honestly though everything about that night is like. ridiculous. as I think I said, it’s the kind of thing you could tell stories about, like “one night I went out...”

Jamie: I agree and I wanna laugh but like omg.

Rainbow: lolol. “do you want glitter?” “no, but do you want ecstasy?” actually I forget, why were you talking to that person? or what did you say?

Ethan: I have no idea. I would be willing to bet that I was offering them something, but it might’ve been a cereal bar or something. Because I don’t think I got out the rainbow face paint and glitter until after 3am. Actually, they offered me gum, but I don’t remember if there was some exchange before that.

Rainbow: “by “friend��� I mean this person I only met an hour ago”

Ethan: It’s not like I could’ve said that. “I’m staying the night with this person I just met, so I guess I’ll be home tomorrow sometime”

Rainbow: lol. and yeah when someone puts a sock on their door handle doesn’t that indicate they’re having sex in the room specifically, as opposed to general “do not disturb”?

Ethan: I have no idea. I don’t know if this person meant it like that. Either they didn’t, or they just changed their mind or something, I guess.

Rainbow: hmm. and yeah I know we found that funny at the time (I still do) but it makes you uncomfortable now, so sorry, I guess.

Ethan: I’m just suspicious and confused. Though I didn’t feel suspicious or unsafe at all at the time. And I also know that in general I’d probably feel unsafe around anyone in that situation (if I was sober), as in, it’s a reflection on me as opposed to on them.

Rainbow: yes you do tend to feel unsafe or threatened when you don’t necessarily need to, but also I think it’s kinda reasonable not to feel super safe or comfortable in the house of some person you don’t even know?

Jamie: Isn’t that a thing normal people do, though? Like go to bars and/or nightclubs and find a person and either take them to their house or go over to theirs, and presumably have sex? Or is that just like on tv etc?

Rainbow: well, I wouldn’t know, lol. I guess it is a thing? but like do they really feel safe doing that?? oh yeah also and last Tuesday, “I’m just gonna walk the ENTIRE BUS ROUTE at fucking 2am!!”

Ethan: It was fine, it was fun, and it didn’t take as long as I’d thought it might. :P

Rainbow: you managed to injure both ankles doing it, somehow. also it only didn’t take too long because you were walking at a fucking ridiculous speed, like 2x as fast as you usually walk I think. well, not twice as in “usually 3mph now 6mph” but like “usually 3mph now 4.5mph”

Jamie: That’s not “twice”.

Rainbow: it is if you use a different scale.

Jamie: ???

Rainbow: you get what I mean

Jamie: Yeah, I know, sorry.

Rainbow: oh yeah!! the therapist person!! firstly like two weeks ago or whatever, “well I’m not really qualified to deal with split personality or schizophrenia or whatever this is” lolol.

Ethan: Yeah, like clearly not, if you think that 1. dissociative disorders are called “split personality” (I guess that isn’t technically wrong? But that’s not what it gets called) and 2. they’re even remotely similar to schizophrenia. Though (no offence or anything) I feel like he shouldn’t even act as though he takes me/us seriously.

Rainbow: I mean I agree in the sense that we all know pretty well that we don’t meet the criteria for DID or fit the presentation or whatever anything like that, and likely not OSDD(whichever number) either. but I mean that isn’t really a reason to be like that you’re lying and we don’t exist and all our+your experiences are fake or anything. so I’m glad he takes us seriously in that regard. though I’m not in favour of him telling the psychiatrist that I’m a horrible person and/or insinuating that somehow you’re suicidal just because I sometimes am. he really doesn’t seem to get that we consider ourselves separate people and so of course I wouldn’t kill you just because I wanted to die. in the same way as pretty much nobody would kill someone else if they wanted to die.

Ethan: *shrugs*

Rainbow: lol. anyway so, it’s not super clear what he meant when he said “why don’t you try and integrate the emotions they hold” or something. like if he just meant for you to feel your own emotions instead of pushing them onto us, then 10/10 I’m in favour of that. but if he meant the kind of “integrate” where me and Jamie wouldn’t exist, then no, 0/10.

Ethan: I don’t want that, either, though I also don’t think it would work, since the whole “integration” thing is only for DID, isn’t it? And it also seems to assume that both of you only consist of specific emotions, like that you don’t have any existence or personality apart from that.

Rainbow: yeah. I also don’t entirely get it, like, if you were to start being more resentful of your mom or something, why would I suddenly not be? or alternatively, if you take some thing where I have a distinct presence of it and Jamie has a distinct absence of it, how would you “integrate” those two opposite things? would it cancel out into the kinda indifference that you already have right now anyway? or would you actively both like and dislike x thing at the same time, or what? and I’m assuming you couldn’t “integrate” genders, right? because what would that even end up as? 100% male and simultaneously 95% female and also simultaneously genderfluid? like you’d have three genders where two were stable and one switched around?? that’s just unnecessary and excessive, lol. or what about where you have a certain trait and me or Jamie has the opposite? would your trait disappear in favour of ours? anyway yeah obviously my real point is I don’t like the idea and don’t want it. just unless certain things were gonna cancel out, you’d just end up being three different people under one identity. in terms of traits etc.

Ethan: It’s not like I’m the most stable in that regard already, anyway.

Rainbow: yeah but you’re never multiple conflicting traits at the same time, you just switch between them. arguably that would average out to you containing conflicting things all at the same time, but they aren’t all present simultaneously.

Ethan: Yeah, and the switching between “I want to look really masculine!” and “I want to look really feminine!” etc is all as me. I don’t think it’s from “being” either of you, or anything like that. That is, my personal switching of traits etc is a different experience to there being three of us existing.

Rainbow: well yeah. oh yeah also: well done for going through the whole week (college week like) without getting high!! that’s like a record for you, isn’t it? XD like seriously, you haven’t been in college without taking codeine ever, and you haven’t been in any academic setting without being high since like 5th year. and I’m almost tempted not to count that since you were a complete mess, missed most of the year, and were high for a few months there, too. so seriously, well done, 10/10, proud of you.

Ethan: Thanks. :/ (I do appreciate it, and I’m glad/impressed too, but *shrugs*)

Jamie: *throws confetti* :P

Ethan: xD

Jamie: Seriously though, I’m super glad and proud of you. (heart) (does doing hearts break the post, or is that just on mobile? I’ll just be safe and not do one)

Ethan: It’s just weird to me. It reminds me of like 1st-3rd year. I know I was high during 2nd and 3rd year, but DXM and St John’s wort feel vaguely similar (obviously since they’re both SSRIs).

Rainbow: hmm yeah. st johns wort spaces you the fuck out, but seemingly only like 10% as much as DXM did (due to the massively different doses you’re taking, obviously). honestly st johns wort seems like magic so far.

Ethan: Yeah! It’s amazing, it’s so much easier to do things that would normally be terrifying, like talk to people, send emails, use bathrooms, etc. I feel like at some point I’ll probably get used to this dose and it won’t do anything anymore, though.

Rainbow: is that even meant to happen with ssris? it never happened with dxm.

Ethan: I think it happens with most SSRIs. DXM is just weird, I think.

Rainbow: anyway, your strategy of lowering the dose and/or not taking it, on the weekend might help. idk though. it stays in your system longer than like caffeine, doesn’t it? so your tolerance probably wouldn’t swing up and down as drastically.

[wasted4ge]

Idk if anyone actually reads these, and I’m not saying I do or don’t want people to read them, I just feel so comfortable complaining and venting on here and I don’t care who reads these posts because I’m not gonna get judged and no one I really know follows me so that’s even better.

There’s been so much going on I’m trying to comprehend all of it. 

So I do have some hope left that I didn’t completely ruin things with that guy because he requested me on facebook a few days ago so if he was mad or hated me he wouldn’t have added me. And one of his friends that I work with told me to just text him again because he’s so bad at answering texts. So that made me feel a little better. I’m gonna text him and ask him if he wants to get lunch or dinner or something this week because I’m going home next weekend and won’t really have any time to hangout. And then next week try to make solid plans for that weekend because I really do want to hangout with him I was just really nervous. I/m still actually really nervous but now I know for sure I want to hangout with him and I just have to suck it up because I’ll never know what his intentions are unless I try. He might just want to be friends or he might want something more I have no idea. I’m down for both. But I’ll never meet anyone if I don’t stop being a little bitch and give myself a little more credit. I deserve someone who’s gonna treat me right and give me love. I don’t feel like I do but everyone deserves that. 

Also, I was gonna go to the movies with one of my friends last night but she invited our other friend and it made me not want to go like it was bad she was like “and btw so and so is going” and I’m like oh great. I canceled plans because plans because I said I promised one of my coworkers I would go to their hockey game last night. I really did go to the hockey game that wasn’t a lie. But the game didn’t start until 9:30 so I could’ve hung out, but I really didn’t want to. I ended up seeing “IT” with my other friend and got back in time to go to the game with my other coworkers. So I canceled on her, but went to the movies anyway with someone else. Oh well, I don’t feel bad I just really can’t stand that one friend right now to be completely honest. Like I’m just thinking of all the things she’s done and said to me and I’m not really happy with what she’s doing right now (I’ll get into that later) but I just really don’t want to be around her. Idk if I even still want to be friends. I have no choice but to still be friends anyway because she’s friends with everyone I’m friends with so that’s just great. 

Right now she’s talking to this guy who I really liked last year and it started as like a mutual thing I guess. But she had no feelings toward him at all last year other than the fact that she thought he was attractive. I worked with him literally all the time. He was on our staff and I worked with him like literally every week the first semester. I grew to like him and we had a lot of the same interests but he had a gf so I stood back (not like he wanted anything with me anyway and that’s fine). But she knew how much I liked him and she never once asked me how I felt about the situation. I would’ve said I was fine with it and of course I wouldn’t want what I said to determine her future plans with him, but she just gave zero fucks and keeps annoying me because he doesn’t want anything anymore and she feels like it’s the end of the fucking world and it’s a shock that a guy did this, but that’s besides the point. The point is I hear about this situation every fucking day and I’m so tired of it. She’s basically bragging about something that I wanted, but never had and would never have a chance with. Idk I’m just really annoyed because if I wanted any kind of relationship with anyone she’s had something with I wouldn’t even consider taking my feelings farther. I would never talk to someone in that way that she’s had something with. Idk that’s just me but I’m annoyed and a little hurt too. She’s just really not that good of a friend to have. But then again, I want to keep her around so she could help me with my classes. Lol sorry not sorry?

There’s a bunch of other shit going on but I really had to talk about this shit because they won’t leave my mind. 

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 3: “Nancy Drew, Eat Your Heart Out” - Owen

EMMA’S EXIT INTERVIEW

Damn fuck. 

ari you're not allowed to watch my confessionals, so ignore this.

for everyone else: the video is upside down, and it's really symbolic of the dual game twist.

love, mj

So a potential alliance might be happening eventually?  I played with  both Kait and MJ in a Big Brother game and they are the only two people left in the game that I've known before we started.  Anyway, I've been talking to the both of them a bit, Kait is super nice and I love her and then we have MJ that likes Darren Criss too! 

So then yesterday Kait randomly asked how I was feeling now that the other people from Arabia were gone, and I was pretty honest.  I told her that I was a little on the nervous side but that Nick should have been on and around and that Alex shouldn't have taken anything but that it was like I was now starting over with all these people that I didn't know that I enjoyed getting to know.  Anyway, we talked a bit more then she suggested that she, MJ and I start an alliance for later on maybe if there is a tribe swap or if there is a merge and I'm not in the place to turn down any alliance so I told her I was down!  

With the way that the votes are going these days I'm SUPER nervous.  The trend seems to be that the person that is on both tribes going to tribal council is usually the one to get voted off of both.  That just... scares me?  Like, I just don't want it to ever be me.  Carson seems to be like a comp beast anyway and I think both of my tribes are solid, I just don't want to be that unlucky person that goes to two tribal councils then gets out by the luck of the draw. :/ 

In a way I'm glad I sat out this round, I SUCK at this challenge, I don't really understand it at all and I don't think I would have done either tribe any good if I participated.  I just hate the idea of sitting anything out, I want my tribes to think I'm worth keeping around.  

I'm starting to feel like there might be a swap coming up before too long, like, maybe when we get to 20 people, or even before then to even the tribes out.  It must suck for the people that have just three people on their tribes!

My goal was to not be the 23rd person out once Nick and Alex were voted out....  Now that Emma is gone (Oh god, I hope it was Emma, I'm having a hard time with all these names) I need a new goal and I think that is going to be to make it to the first tribe swaps!

The worst part about coming into All-Stars after being out of commission for so long is that EVERYONE has connections to EVERYONE. Then there's me over in the corner. I only know a few people coming into this season, and it's so intimidating because it seems like most of these recent players already know one another; I'm the odd one out. I'm not the most personable person either, so trying to create bonds is really tricky for me. I'm trying to piece together all of the preexisting connections and stuff, but this is so rough. Ahhhhhhhhhh 

welp, i asked the first person for an alliance, that being jenn. i feel like im already late to the alliance scene, and im thinking if i dont make an alliance soon, im fucked.

honest to god all the challenges in this game are ones im shit at. I really really hope Pat is really with me bc it looks like were going to lose again. also i dont have shit going on my game b tribe so if we go to tribal im gonna have to beg steffen for my life oh boy

pat: has good scores that he says we can use if we cant beat them me: stops trying 

this is technically for last episode but oh well

hooooooooly wooooooooow I'm so fucking mad about that score I got. It cost one of my tribes the win??? Which was super duper sad, but luckily Emma's other tribe lost too, so it should be and was an easy vote. I was a bit worried that Logan's relationship with her would get in the way (if it exists at all idk man), but I survived :') and now my frickin game b tribe can NOT lose again i will do WHATEVER IT FRICKING TAKES to WIN 

The cool thing though was that my OTHER tribe got first, and I was the first one to go on that reward cool fun trip to the adventure :~) I made it pretty far in... And I didn't get anything. But then I turned right around and told Jake what to do, and then Steffen, and then BOTH of Lydia's trips. I was on call with them through all of it and I'm SCREAMING kjfdshdsj because literally both ricardo and gage told me what they got too????? So like... I know Jake has the record which lets him flip the immunity scores around, and Lydia got the weird ass Whirlpool Idol, which means there has gotta be a lot of stuff in there. And Ricardo met Jordan Pines... Gage didn't get any further than I did. 

So even though I didn't get any items, I know who did, I know what they do, and I know what does and doesn't work in the adventure. I don't have a power, but I have knowledge, and in this game, knowledge is power. I'm gonna make a spreadsheet with everything that's happened so far..

The one thing I don't get is the clue Alex gave. Maybe it's fake. And Kait somehow got a clue too, but she hasn't given it to me? Sooooo SUSPICIOUS. We'll see :) if i can get it from her :)

me: i did so good!!! jakey: i got 290 me: the... fuck

like.... what kinda FREAKS OF NATURE r these people??? with these high ass scores??? like WHAT

like...

BUT on the other hand, i also made an alliance with ruthie. yes i made an alliance with the 2 girls on my tribe. what can i say? im a feminist. like... idek i feel so outmatched here everyoens so much better than me, and im just waiting to leave, but i know i should just work harder, and ill be able to do somethin. i cant just sit back and be a little bitch

Simon quit? 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just sped up the inevitable probably. In other news I had the worst score in that challenge so I'm glad to be morphing into the goat at an earlier stage than usual. Still alliance-less and can't wait for the first swap to murder me. Honestly I was too exhausted today to pm anyone so I just like to send ugly snaps instead x

MAKALU WON!

I'M GOING TO CRY, I'M SO HAPPY. 

Bless Owen for allowing me to use his score and for Jimmy being safe (Jessy DID THAT) and for Simon quitting to keep MJ and Kait safe and taking us to Final 21. Bless going on an adventure and Bering staying the course. But damn, can Caspian lose one already? 

Well back to things looking grim because Adventureland wasn't all it's cracked up to be. How did Jake find something on his first go? 

Both my tribes won first I'm gonna fucking SCREECH

once again, i'm the biggest baddest adventurest bitch there is like ??? adventure??? my house. the place i was born. i crawled my ragged ass out the whirlpool and all the way up the side of the volcano and ryan tossed me in like vanuatu and now here i am, a rock monster with lobster claws and craggly skin 

anyways, I tried the riddles and failed because I was getting too caught up in capitalized letters??? im glad my english major really helped out !!! capitalization ! fun ! FUCK CASEY YATES 

anyways I told steffen how to do it, and he got this golden apple like?? I WANTED. THAT. ARE YOU. KIDDING ME. I'M SO. MAD. First of all it's like the oasis which would be good by itself but then a double vote??? that's on CRACK I WANT IT SAKJDFSH but it was worth it to tell him because at least I know where it's at which is good.

Ricardo and Jake didn't get anything, and then Jenn messaged me and SHE didn't get anything, but Lydia still has a trip thank god whew

I literally know what everyone did???? Shook. Nancy Drew, eat your heart out.

Also... Of course Simon quits. Honestly, that's really shitty of him but I didn't expect anything less with his attitude??? That's that on that. Kind of sad tribal is cancelled because I wanted chaos but oh well! Final 21, nice!

I'm expecting some kind of swap to happen at 20 like in Ol*mpics, but we'll see. For now, I have to win this next challenge... I need to go back on this damn adventure and get something for myself. I'm sick of being a charity!

Quitters are Shitters Deserters are Perverters Drop Outs are Slop Scouts

(courtesy of Thesaurus.com and RhymeZone.com)

So, Simon quit and that's kind of annoying, like WHY QUIT AN ALL STARS SEASON?  That's like a slap in the face to the hosts, they could have casted anyone and they casted you and you walked, UGH.  

I wish Alex was still around, at least he would have been more of an asset to his teams than Simon was, jeez.  

Also, in happier news, I think Carson and I are going to make a final 2 alliance and I'm SO pumped, she's one of my favorite people here and I really trust her. If we win reward or if she wins reward on her other tribe I'll even think about giving her the clue Alex left me with!  Maybe that would solidify us a little bit more!

I'm? actually kinda bummed that Simon quit. Sure, our tribal on Osh Kosh B'gosh was going to be messy I'm sure, because I'm pretty sure Matt would've wanted to keep Simon instead of Gage whereas I'd rather keep Gage over either of them. I mean like it just kinda sucks because that's not really the spirit of an All Stars season - you want people to play hard and put it all out on the line, not quit because you don't wanna lose your never voted out record. I love Simon, but it just kinda sucks I guess. I mean I could've voted Matt out 2-1-1 or something hehe wouldn't that have been fun :') 

Anyways I've been thinking a lot about my place in this game and where I see myself in social standings. There are a few people that literally have not spoken to me at all - which like I get. It's a huge cast and it's one world, it's hard to keep up with everyone. However like, nnnnnnnn hello binch I exist! Other than that, I think I have enough good connections throughout this game to at least get me to the merge provided I don't see too many tribals. I'm really feeling the pressure in my A game with my tribe only having 3 people left with myself, Matt, and Gage. I don't know how close the two of them are, but I have alliances with both of them so as long as neither of them catch on I'm the swing vote. Matt would be soooo mad at me if I voted him out, but I think it'd be better for me in the long run to have him leave because of our history together - I just don't see us really moving past it. We can work together for now, but I think that the second we meet shaky waters it's going to be game on and things are going to get ugly once more. However, Gage I trust a lot more and I feel like would potentially get me further in the game because he's a number that I think I have a lot more control over instead of Matt. Idk. Watch this be completely the opposite or somehting or watch me get fucked over if we go to tribal again or some shit. NNNNNNN. Mess. 

My plan for tomorrow is to hit up the following people - Jessy, Steven, and Abbey. Abbey.......maybe not we'll see how festive I'm feeling. I'll prob talk more to Wes also, because apparently Wes went asking Jakey for an alliance and little ol' me is feeling a little left out! Wes hasn't fucking done a single thing on the Kabru tribe, who the fuck he think he is tryna make alliances n shit! Sit down and be a productive tribe member, tHANKS.