#if he had wanted to be a teacher since before the war then yes‚ I'd be happy for him and so so proud

[kimi-no-chikara]

I'm sorry, I've been trying so hard to accept Izuku becoming a UA teacher but I just can't. I love Horikoshi for the happiness he and his story have brought me over the years, but Izuku being a teacher is just bugging me so hard. I know he'd be an incredible teacher, I'm not arguing against that. But beyond the fact that I think Izuku himself would want to at least stay in the hero industry, I don't think there's any chance Katsuki would've let him give up on being a hero.

I think that's why Horikoshi at least made it a point in canon to emphasize that Katsuki especially was behind funding Izuku's hero suit. Because he of all people could not let Deku go. He needed him to be a hero. And I appreciate that we at least see that much in canon. But honestly I think Katsuki would've stepped in sooner than 8 years later and never would have let Izuku give up on being a hero in the first place.

I don't know at what point Izuku gave up on being a pro hero and started looking at other career options, but whenever it happened, I just know he must have spoken to Katsuki about it. Izuku, unreliable narrator that he is, probably fooled even himself into thinking that he's okay with it. That he's blessed to have lived his dream as long as he did. That his time is over. But Katsuki would've shut that shit right down.

Kacchan Bakugou did not watch Izuku spend 10+ years wanting nothing more than to be a hero, while quirkless, just to then watch him give up on being a hero because he lost his quirk. He would've called bullshit on that immediately.

Katsuki knows Izuku intimately. He knows how badly Izuku needs to be a hero. Being quirkless never stopped Izuku from wanting to be a hero before. There's no reason it should stop him now. And he'd say as much. Ain't no way he'd let Izuku give up on being a hero just because he lost OFA.

[hunters-vigil]

Unsettling Feeling

Summary: staying in Poisson, you sneak away to have a conversation with The Knave while The Traveller and Paimon are asleep.

Even with those deadly heels of hers, Arlecchino could sneak up on you and the Traveller, and scare Paimon in the process. But maybe you liked the shivers that run up your spine the moment you realised she was there?

Of course, you wouldn't tell the Traveller that. You had been travelling with them and Paimon from the start, but… something about the Knave left your mind buzzing. They probably suspected something, since you completely forgot about that slice of cake you were supposed to be eatingwhen Neuvillette asked you all to protect Furina from the Fourth Fatui Harbinger in that meeting. She even questioned if the cake wasn't to your liking, but truth be told, you were too intrigued by her to realise you had been passed a slice.

The plan originally had you, the Traveller and Paimon distract The Knave while the others tried to help Clervie. Childe may have been enough of a distraction the first time, giving you three enough harbinger gossip to last a while. Especially about Harbingers you were yet to meet.

Arlecchino was exactly where you and your companions left her earlier in the evening. Stood on the small dock, looking out at the moon's glow on the waves.

"To what do I owe this honour, my dear guest. I was under the impression that you and your companions had retired for the night."

"It is difficult to sleep when your mind is full of questions. I'd rather not monologue, but with how you were diplomatically side-stepping Paimon and Childe earlier-" you shifted slightly on the crate as you sat down, "may I say what I want to say, regardless of whether you deem it fit to answer me?"

"It would depend on the contents of your words, would it not?" Arlecchino watched you carefully, how you kept your gaze on the horizon, before finally meeting her eyes. She could not see a trace of fear or intimidation, in fact, there was almost, amusement when looking at her?

"We first heard of you during our travels in Inazuma. We foiled some Fatui plots, including one to poison Watatsumi Island's lands, weave disruption and reignite the civil war. All to acquire more orphans… 'the teacher' used your name, but they weren't your plans. I went back to Inazuma for some errands recently, so I know. The plans were in the name of the previous Knave, one who had been defeated by a child of the House. One who took over the job and title. You."

Her eyes felt a tad more intense at the mention of the previous Knave, but you didn't flinch. Instead, you sighed, reflecting on another memory, "we met many a fatuus in the Chasm. They'd been trapped down there, their supplies cut off, unaware of the conflicts that had occured in Liyue Harbour. They were also from the House, Nikolay and Katarina…"

Arlecchino could see why you didn't expect her to answer, and how you held her gaze like you were looking for something, but you weren't really trying all the same. She'd seen it many times before.

"We met another fatuus, in Sumeru. He was under orders of Dottore to lure children out of a village, to try capture- it doesn't matter. The Traveller caught on, but we spared him his life. All we found in the desert was a tattered paper of his, and two Rifthounds nearby."

Her intrigue was piqued, but your manner of speaking was causing her patience to waver, yes, all of those you listed were from the House of the Hearth, but-

"I'll skip to my point, since I know you could try to crush my skull under your heel, or burn me up until not even ashes remain. Although harming a guest would be unfortunate and extremely impolite, and not to mention getting on the wrong side of 'the legendary blonde Traveller'… pff!" you almost laughed, before deciding to cut to the chase with a clearing of your throat.

"I want you to know that I'm not afraid of you."

"Oh really? Then, even if you were not my guest, I would call you a fool." Her tone dismissive, but you chose not to acknowledge it.

"There are bigger evils in this world, and beyond it, than you. And, in my opinion, there are far more worse parents out there, than your role as 'father'… Perrie-"

Her fingers were itching to clench, to clamp around your throat, but she had more self control than that. You were a guest, while you had been poking around this entire time, looking for a reaction. She would not give you that pleasure. The look in your eye at the mention of parents, however… did you know about Crucabena already? How-

"Clearly being awake at this time is having an effect on your words. You should return to your lodgings before your companions awaken and realise you are gone." Arlecchino watched you carefully, something about you was unsettling, moreso than how unsettling the Traveller could feel to most people, especially upon the first meeting. A product of not hailing from Teyvat…

"I've gone without sleep a lot longer than you would think. It took a long while to get the events of the cataclysm out of my dreams. The red skies, the crimson moon, the people of Khaenri'ah turning into hillichurls and other abyssal creatures… please keep an eye on your curse, I'd be gravely upset if that was to also become your fate." You jumped down from the crate, not caring that you had just given a major lore bomb about yourself to a Harbinger.

"The Traveller, as everyone seems to call them, knows my past. I actually met the twins before… heh, that's enough information for one night. I should stop interrupting your peace, especially since the breeze is nice." Your thoughts lingered on Venti for a second, before shaking your head, "I'll play the role of the polite guest, and take my leave before irritating my host. I apologise for taking up so much of your time. Feel free to follow me up with any questions you have at a later date."

"Should the time come, I will take you up on your offer. Perhaps the roles will reverse and you shall play host. But for now, I shall bid you goodnight, and hope that you return to you lodgings unharmed."

"Unharmed…" if your fatal flaw was hubris, you would have laughed at Arlecchino's term of phrase, but instead, you maintained her gaze a little longer, then nodded to yourself and took your leave.

The Knave didn't give you a second glance as you disappeared from view, heading back into Poisson. Most likely to run into your companions, who had probably woken up and found you gone by now.

That however was not her most pressing concern, Arlecchino acknowledged, wondering if the Fatui's intel on you was all wrong. Compared to the Fourth Descender, you had been deemed to be a small fish, but what you had said suggested otherwise. Just what were you, and why were you so interested in her?

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I'd love to see your take on a Harry Potter and MHA crossover. Basic premise is that the golden trio goes to Japan and somehow gets entwined with UA/Class 1A. Whether they're there after fourth/fifth year in order to train or after the war ends to recuperate, or some option I haven't thought of is up to you; I would request that they're not much older than 17/18 though. Pairing is up to you too

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Ron snapped as he dropped the box from his arms to the ground.

“Can’t you?” Hermione asked in exhaustion. The woman glanced at where Harry was sitting on the couch, face blank.

“From Snape? Yes. From… from everyone else…” Ron trailed off. Hermione wanted to cry.

Harry had collapsed a few weeks into their sixth year. No one knew why, and the panic it caused when he woke up but was so… blank. Emotionless and having to be directed by people almost caused riots to break out.

Testing revealed Snape to be at fault. Apparently he discovered Harry was a Horcrux and was ‘worried about Voldemort using the connection’ according to him. The potion was used to ‘lessen the risks’.

People celebrated this. Even when Bill revealed that actually there were rituals used to remove Horcruxes that a Dark Wizard like Snape should know about thanks to his potions mastery, they still said Snape did his best. Dumbledore even came out agreeing with Snape and saying the ritual couldn’t work since he didn’t know about it.

Others heavily disagreed and the riots actually started.

It just kept getting worse when people began talking about how to continue the Potter line even with Harry in his state. Girls began volunteering to carry his child.

They’d had to run when there was noise about taking Harry from Hogwarts for that purpose. Remus helped along with Flitwick to get him out, and they booked it to Japan to seek sanctuary which was granted.

Among the Order, Remus and the Weasley family had been the only ones to protest the treatment from the Wizarding World to Harry. They were all furious of what had happened. Hermione could only feel rage when she remembered how they treated him after the potion, how Snape was praised. It was disgusting.

“Harry,” she said to the motionless teenager. “Do you want to discuss UA?” She waited but no answer came from the teen.

“We’ll find a cure,” Ron told her. “We’ll save him,” he said thickly. “The Tokoyami family are some of the best potioneers in the world and we’re going to be in a class with one of them. We can save him.”

“Please be true,” Hermione whispered.

She didn’t know what she would do in the end.

-

Class 1A was alerted to their new classmates the morning they arrived. No one quite knew how to react, still reeling from everything that had happened the week before. A group of disgruntled former classmates from Aldera had banded together after the Sports Festival to ‘expose the Quirkless Cheat’ and posted various videos about Midoriya.

Ochako privately wondered how the actual fuck they didn’t expect that people would be more upset by the horrific bullying De- Midoriya faced then by him being formerly diagnosed Quirkless. False Negatives existed! Hell it was public last year that Mount Lady was as one!

Bakugou was thrown out of the class by Aizawa who’d made a public apology to Midoriya regarding his actions. He explained how he’d made the wrong conclusions based on his own experience, and why. Ochako felt the forgiveness to the teacher was kind of to easy but that was her own thoughts. Bakugou went right to 1C with the students who were all waitlisted for the hero course. According to the gossip none had proved themselves worthy of moving up yet with one girl, Togeike or the such, being expelled for several attempts at sabatoging the various projects support students had for the hero course. Bakugou took her spot to his fury.

Then Mineta was actually expelled, full on, after some shady stuff was uncovered by other people boldened by the expose on Bakugou.

And then Ojiro left. He said he had been blindsided by how dishonourable UA was with who they let in and he would not stand for it. The three empty seats now though were being filled by transfers. It caused some issue with 1C, despite the reminders none had met the qualifications yet for physicality or mentality.

Ochako looked up as the door opened to let in three foreigners, her eyes caught by a blank faced teen with the greenest eyes she’d ever seen. Her breathe almost hitched as she stared at him in wonder.

He was beautiful. Just simply beautiful.

What was their story?

[crazyf0rswayze]

Johnny Cade: School Project

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n, I want you to work with Mr. Cade for this group project". 

Johnny looked up when he heard his last name from the teachers mouth. He looked around to see an awfully pretty girl looking at him with a small smile. She waved a small hand at him. She seemed like a nice girl to work with. 

The teacher continued calling names, and pairing people up for the group projects. 

"You will begin your projects in class tomorrow, and continue work on them at home" the teacher said with an annoying smile on her face. Sometimes Johnny wanted to smack it right off her .

"Hey, Johnny right? I'm Y/n, I'm working with you on the project!"

"Mmmhm"

The pair of teens continued walking down the hall. They had one more class together, and Y/n decided to walk with him.

"Do you plan on responding to me?" Y/n said after she realized she had been rambling and he hadn't answered once

"I'm not the most talkative guy your gonna meet, ok" Johnny said finally before they walked into class.

"Oh, sorry...I didnt mean to make you upset, I guess the way I worded it wasn't the best" Y/n said with a nervous laugh. 

"Don't worry about it Y/n" Johnny said looking up and smiling

              TIME SKIP TO PRESENTATION DAY

"And that's why we chose to study the Civil War for our history project"  Y/n said with a pretty smile. Johnny was blushing a little. Y/n did most of the talking and Johnny pointed things out

...but he was staring at her a lot. Ponyboy nudged Johnny when he sat back down

"I see you've got the hots for her" Pony said smirking

"No I don't Pony" Johnny said defensively.

"Hey man, whatever you say" Ponyboy said as he walked up to the board so he could present his project. 

               TIME SKIP TO THE END OF THE DAY

Y/n was at her locker, packing up when Johnny walked up to her, his beautiful brown eyes coved by his hair. 

"Hey Johnny!" Y/n said happily.

"Hey Y/n! Uh...I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out after  school?" Johnny asked very shyly.

"Gosh no need to be so shy Cade. Of course I'd wanna hang out with you!"

"Yea...yea, great. Awesome!" Johnny said with a wide smile. Y/n kinda stared at him. Everything around them stoped. She had never really seen him smile, but he was absolutely beautiful when he did. They started walking out of the school when they saw Ponyboy. 

"See ya Pony" Johnny said 

"Yea I'll see you Johnnycakes" Ponyboy said in an attempt to embarrass Johnny. As Johnny and Y/n walk out of the school Johnny looked back at Ponyboy. We was raising his eyebrows up and down and up and down. Johnny rolled his eyes at the brunette. 

"Johnnycakes?" Y/n questioned. 

Johhny smiled and chuckled a little 

"Yea...yea it's pretty stupid. My buddy Dallas gave the little name to me. I don't really know where he got it from" he chuckled again

"No, no...it's kinda...I don't know...cute" Y/n said blushing. 

"You really think?" Johnny said looking at Y/n with heart eyes

"Yea, I do" Y/n said as the two teens sat down in an empty lot. 

The pair started talking a bit, and sharing experiences about life. They had laughs and all.

"Hey...um I get if we're not close enough for me to ask this...but um...how'd you get the scar?" Y/n asked softly

"Uhhm i-"

"You know what, never mind! It's uh...it's fine don't worry about it" Y/n exclaimed.

"No its ok I swear! Uh...I got jumped by some socs a little bit ago. One of them...Bob had a crap ton of rings on and...split me into to two" He chuckled a little as he said 'split into two' 

"It makes you look pretty tuff" Y/n said looking down as she blushed. 

"Ya think?" Johnny questions

"Yea...I don't know Johnnycakes, it completes your face" 

"R-really?" Johnny said as he looks down blushing.

"Yea"

"Hmmm" 

Y/n looks from his eyes to his lips...and back. Johnny watched her as she did so.

"Johnny..."

"Yes Y/n"

"Ever since Mrs. Brown paired us up as partners for the project...maybe a bit before that...Ive really, really liked you. I just didn't know how to tell you, but I've caught you looking, and I heard Pony tease you about looking at me during the presentation...and I though 'wow, maybe we have mutual feelings'"

"Mmmhm"

"Is that all? 'mmmhm'...do you not like me?"

"I do. I swear...I just...I though you were gonna say more so I wanted to let you know I heard you... and I was listening... you know?" Johnny said quickly

"Yea..."

"..."

"Can I...can I kiss you" Y/n asked very very softly

"Yea..."

They embraced each other in a passionate kiss but suddenly Johnny pulled away

"Did I do something wrong?" Y/n asked worriedly

"No actually...I wanted to really make sure this is ok with you"

"It is Johnny....I promise" 

"Ok..."

The pair started kissing again and then after they stopped they silently looked at the stars and Y/n wound up falling asleep, using Johnny's chest as pillow.

[icanbeyourgenie]

“ Isn't there something that you want? Something more than anything else in this world? ” – Malachai to Aeron

Aeron didn't have to think to know the answer, but he still paused for a second, deciding if he should give that piece of information to the sea prince or not. Apparently, alcohol made him more honest.

“The sky.” He said, and Malachai raised an eyebrow. “I'd want to go back to the sky. Where we used to live.”

“It was way before your birth that your people came down here, isn't it? You don't know what it was like.”

“I know that we probably flew a lot more. I hate not using my wings for a long time.”

“So you dislike the forest?”

“No I don't. There's a lot of forests in the sky islands. They're mostly forests flying around. With... big voids every 10 meters.”

“So it's the ground you dislike then?”

“Yes. Too restrictive. Humans are fun, but otherwise the land is boring to death.”

The fae sighed and poured another drink to both him and the merman. They stayed in silence after that. Aeron was about to return the question but Malachai spoke first.

“You could, you know ? If you were high king, you could decide to go back to the sky.”

Aeron sneered while emptying his glass. “But I'm not high king, am I?”

“Everyone who has spent more than 10 minutes in this place can tell that your mother wants to name you the crown prince. Not your fucked up brother.”

“And for the hundreth of times, I don't want it. But even if I did, I wouldn't be high king. Morgana's immortal. And she doesn't fight her own battles anymore. So unless there's an actual war between our two people, there's no chance she'll die. Accepting to be the crown prince would just mean losing the bit of freedom that I still have.” He took another sip and looked at Malachai, deciding to push the conversation a bit further. “But you seem fine with it though. ”

“What?”

“Being the heir forever. The dutiful son, always doing your father's biding, even if you lose yourself in the process.”

Malachai's fist tightened. “I have a duty of care towards my people. And my siblings.”

Aeron chuckled. “Ah yes, your siblings. What an excellent excuse is it not? They do worship you... Do you think you're worthy of that worship?”

Malachai seemed really angry now, and Aeron liked it. But he soon understood that angering the man was easy. He had so much anger bottled up inside of him.

“You always have to be an asshole, don't you?”

“An asshole who tells the truth. But I don't judge. After all, we have a lot in common.”

“We don't.”

“Yes we do. We both have great hair.”

“That's not a personality trait.”

“Oh, say that to all the pretendants who want to touch your hair every night.”

This time, they both laughed. Aeron knew these times were trying for Malachai, since his father forced him to find a wife and all his evening were about meeting new sea ladies that could fit. Aeron knew forced marriage all too well, he didn't need to ask to know that Malachai felt trapped.

The sea prince poured another drink.

“It always bugged me, when I was a child. I had the best history teachers, yet no one knew why you just decided to give up on the sky and come on land.”

“The fae people don't know either. Most books from this time have been lost. Or burned.”

Malachai smirked. He had become better at detecting Aeron's subtle deflecting, when he couldn't lie. “But you know?”

“I don't.”

“You at least have a theory.” Aeron's silence. told him he was right. “Won't you tell me?”

Aeron's smile turned devilish when he said: “I don't know. Keep making me drink and who knows where it will lead us.”

Malachai rolled his eyes at the innuendo but he was used to it by now and they kept drinking, soon enough the subject drifting elsewhere.

[valemya]

🍄🧸 for the asks! :)

thanks for the asks!

🍄 mushroom: tell me about your dr family!

Certainly! In terms of biological family... I went the route 99% of shifters go- they're just not around. Being a jedi and all it would be difficult for them to be present in my life anyway, so to make it easier I just don't really know them because I haven't seen them since before I was taken to the order.

There is one exception though and it's a bit of a weird one tied to my other (star wars rebels) DR, which I have had for a looong time. Basically in that DR Ezra Bridger is my (non-biological) brother, yknow grew up together, lived together the whole deal. I faced a great deal of emotional torment when I decided to create my tcw DR, because I felt like I would be "cheating" on rebels by focusing on another DR. A friend of mine helped me realise it was alright to put that DR on the backburner for a little while, and besides I could just script Ezra in my tcw DR with me? So then came the epiphany I literally could just bring Ezra with me to my new DR, and that was genuinely really comforting and made me feel a lot better about my decision to make the tcw DR.

Anyway boring backstory aside, there is one exception and it's Ezra. The only difference is that in my tcw DR he's my second cousin (and my padawan!!) cause I thought it would be reeeally funny if I was just randomly assigned a padawan that coincidentally had the same last name as me, thinking there was no relation, until one day obi wan goes digging in the jedi archives or something and finds out oh shit! you guys are cousins fr!

Someone: *reading off a report* General Bridger and.... Commander... Bridger? Is that like your son or something?

Ezra and I, at the same time: we are NOT related!!!

Obi wan: ...😶

So that covers the biological side... but I know you're really here for the found family bit. I'd say that I consider just about everyone family, especially all the clones, but I'll rattle off a few really significant people quickly.

My old master Depa is for sure the mother figure in my life. And yes she's still keeping me in check even after I've long passed my trials and officially gotten out of her hair in the eyes of the Order. By extension, Caleb (Kanan) is someone I'd consider like a half-brother and don't worry, I make sure he and Ezra get to hang out a lot.

Obviously growing up with Anakin I'd consider him family too, and that means Obi Wan on some level as well. To me Obi Wan is kind of like a wine aunt. Will not be elaborating further. Ahsoka feels like a niece.

Despite legally becoming my brother-in-laws at some point, I do consider a lot of the clones to be either very close friends or some kind of familial figure I can't really place. Naturally some are closer to me than others such as Rex and the 501st or the Bad Batch, but I think I bond with them all pretty well.

Tech of course holds the most special place in my heart as my future husband.

...I think that covers it...

🧸 teddy: do you have a favourite childhood memory from your dr?

This one actually had me stumped for a while. I honestly, genuinely have not thought about my life before the war too much, certainly not as a child really. If I had a favourite memory of anything from my childhood it would be a toss up between:

When I was a brand new admission to the Order and didn't really know anyone or even my place in it all, I would spend most of my time in the temple library/archives. The lovely librarian Jocasta Nu was super kind to me, and I continued to spend time in there over the years and even kind of wanted to work within that area because of her kindness. Turned out not to be as I got assigned to the war instead, but the memory is still pleasant.

OR

The early days when I was chosen as Depa's padawan. Getting to know her and what she stands for and learning from her and meditating together is just such a nice bonding activity. She's super supportive and a very grounded teacher, and I think my eyes would have been sparkling watching her do all these cool things and then receiving her guidance on these same things until I was able to master them myself. Just so cool. I think she's a great jedi and a great teacher too.

And there you have it! my essay responses to your asks! hope you've enjoyed and thanks again for the submission!

[demontruth]

Sorry to all my followers. Yes unfortunately I'm going to get harsh, mean, maybe even cruel. I didn't call this Demon truth for no reason. This also why I separated this from my main blog. Politics, particularly politics in the US have become a naughty business. Before for me at least, before Trump become President I was fine to let that naughty business stay in DC and just heard about on the news. But the night of 2016 Presidential election, I with so many others watched in horror as the map of the US turned blood red as state after state went for Trump. A fear I've never felt exploded inside me because I had no idea what was about to happen in our country. I just knew it wouldn't be good. I'm a member of the LGBTQIA+ community and I'm a woman. I remember that night there was a newscaster on national channel that was covering the election results, he was an African-American gentleman when he spoke of the fear he had of the results of a Trump president there was true terror in that man's voice. It's something I never witnessed from a newscaster in my life. It's stuck with to this day.

Because of that and everything that came after. Now the true terror of what the fuck might happen because we're here again. But this time no one seems to taking this shit seriously because so many have forgotten how bad is was when Trump was President. Seen that yes Biden isn't the best-suited, strongest, President we could have or need right now. But he's 1000 times better then a Trump presidency so we, including me have been lulled back to a place of being complacent Americans. Until recently for me because what's happening in Palestine, the fear of Trump getting into the White House again, the war in Ukraine...

So I apologize that any gloves I once had are off I'm bare knuckle boxing here for our democracy, our country, our Constitution, our way of life. Yea our country needs help, but it's not a fascist authoritarian regime under Dictator Trump. I've been telling mostly the void since before 2016 Trump was, is a wannabe Dictator. (He idolizes Dictator all over the world. He fucking love Putin remember!)

The people that support Trump... I've talked to some in real life to try to understand why their on his side. Not the full gone nut jobs, but just normal people. I spoke to this old woman on the bus once. I ask why she supported him, what she told me was insightful for me but also hard to completely understand. Now this woman was in I'd say her late 60s, early 70s so she not pigeonhole under what some think is Trump supporter, she's hispanic, was a teacher (that's how we got to talking actually because she taught at my old elementary school after I went there), had been married, her husband away passed, had 2 sons. I think the only reason she was so forthcoming telling me about her life was that I went to the school she taught at. What she told me was Trump as President for her made her feel safe. And felt he'd make sure older people like herself was taken care of. Just listening to her as we ride the bus, truthfully trying to understand how she could possibly get that from him. In that light I could understand why she'd vote for Trump. But I knew as we all do that it not true not in anyway. There's this complete disconnect from the truth that standing right in front of them. It's so literally like the Wizard of Oz. That MAGA, some Republicans and anyone else that like him and vote for him see him as the Great Wizard, but the rest of have always been able to see the real Trump that's behind the curtain. The con artist, the lair, the criminal, also now the traitor, the wannabe Dictator.

That would ok fine, if Trump hadn't controlled our government and doesn't want to control it again. For me that's where the train goes off the rails. I get angry, I feel the rage coming, I no longer have any, zero patience for anyone that supports him or anyone that has anything to do with him. Because when I say hate Trump I'm not exaggerating in any fashion. I hate him with every fiber of my being!! He could literally destroy democracy as we know it if he get back into the White House!

So yea I'm going to fight and claw and bite and snarl and punch and hit and kick and beat and scream and tear and rip and break noses and be mean and evil and anything if it means Trump loses the election!! I will be as bloody as I need to be (metaphorically).

I will use this to wake people up, to make the undecided, decide because truthfully at this point how can anyone not have decided by now! Make those who shouldn't vote (MAGA) stay the fuck home. Because the Republicans cheat to get votes what does everyone think gerrymandering is about. So about time we do to, by we I mean fucking everyone against Trump. Fuck he bitch enough about the election being rigged anyway.

My point is the time to be nice unfortunately is over. We have to remember how bad the 4 years Trump was President. Yes I thought I could just wipe that from my memories too but nope. The fucking villain in horror movie wasn't dead after all... motherfucker!!!

[dasenergi]

Were you raised in any sort of religion?

How has your spiritual practice changed over the years?

I'm putting this behind a cut, because my answer is kind of long. I like to be mindful of people's feed. But if any of my followers are interested in my spiritual history, click and read-on!

No, I wasn't raised in any particular religion. Before the age of five there was a church within walking distance from my house. And often on Sundays I would go to Sunday School there. My parents didn't take me. I wanted to go. I liked the stories and the arts and crafts. So sometimes I'd walk myself or sometimes my sister and cousin would go too. One time when my sister and cousin went to Sunday school, I went into the big church and sat and listened to the sermon. (Again, this was all before the age of five and I was alone.) My strongest memory of the moment, was looking up at the rafters in the church… the church was God's house. And according to the preacher, God lived "up there". So I wondered if there was an invisible God in the rafters of the church watching me.

In July of 1976 we moved 50 miles away. And in this new town I still wanted to go to Sunday school. So occasionally one of my parents would take me to a nearby church. But that didn't last long. It was an inconvienence. We went camping a lot, or there were chores do to, or I wanted to play with my friends. That was the last time I went to church.

Another memory from childhood, probably around 6th grade - my aunt and uncle are religious. And they would give me childrens bibles for Christmas (I think I got three from them over the years). Anyhow, one Christmas the aunt took me into a back room of my grandparents house, turned off the lights, lit a candle, and we got on our knees and prayed. It was one of those, "Repeat after me things" - And she asked if I was ready and wanting to accept Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior. And really, I panicked. I felt very uncomfortable. My gut reaction was to flee. But I was a good kid, and I said yes. She was so excited for me. Afterwards she wanted me to go up to each family member (even my parents) and tell them, "I accepted Jesus into my heart!" I was so embarraseed. But I did it.

I have always been a seeker. Since childhood. I have always felt an affinity to martyrs, saviors, myths, and legends. It was 1980 (I was 9 years old) when I started feeling like I might be the reincarnation of Merlin or King Arthur. (I'm still not convinced I'm not. There's always the possibility.)

With Star Wars and Yoda, and the Beat authors like Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac, I began investigating Buddhism in high school. Ram Dass and Alan Watts.

In college I took religious and philosophy classes. Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism. I began reading all the texts of worlds religions. And studing their history and leaders. Even things like Joseph Smith and Mormonism. Wicca. Druidism. Satanism.

I had a good friend who started attending classes at a Zen Buddhist temple. He was the first one who really sat me down and we meditated together. Actually, I worked at the library at the time and I had a key and knew the security password. So we broke into the library in the middle of the night and he walked me through a guided meditation together there.

When my marriage started falling apart, and we separated, my very first night alone with no kids or wife I was a wreck and had no idea what to do with myself. So I went to a Barnes and Noble book store. And I went to the section on Buddhism. And there I found the book "Dharma Punx" by Noah Levine. I started reading it there in the book store and I immediately connected to the author's story / history. We were the same age. And when I looked him up online, I saw he taught classes within walking distance from my work in Santa Monica.

And that was when I became a Buddhist. Noah became my Buddhist teacher and my mental health therapist all throughout my marriage crisis. I got very deep and involved in Noah's organization, "Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society." I arrived early and setup all the cushions, I was the greeter welcoming newcomers, we had a little book store with merchandise and I collected all the money. I had spent years there. I was taking classes to become a Buddhist teacher myself. And that was when I had a falling-out with Noah. I felt he was taking advantage of me, and he kept choosing other (new) people to become teachers and not me. Noah was very involved in the 12-step program and he was choosing people he worked with from there.

I changed teachers and spent a couple more years in Buddhist circles, before I stopped going altogether. Although I still follow the Buddhist principles, I wouldn't describe myself as actively practicing. But I do have a week-long silent meditation retreat planned for May.

Towards the end of my time in Buddhism, medical marijuana was legalized in California and I started taking it instead of Prozac. It helped a lot and there was no side effects like Prozac had. And with that lifestyle, my eyes were really opened to the New Age movement. That was when I started having really profound visions that rewired my understanding of the universe. And even after I stopped using marijuana in 2018 (because it gave me anxiety attacks) my mind had already been awakened so I could quickly get into those meditative states. I've been very involved in the New Age movement and have had wonderful magical experiences within it -- Things that defied the laws of physics and the known universe. I've traveled the world several times. I've met wonderful powerful people. I've meditated in magical places on every continent except Africa and Antarctica. I truly do believe that we are living at a time of great change, and we are all a part of it. This change was prophesized by Nostradamus.

And that is kind of where I am now, I consider myself a New Age Buddhist. But as you know, I am also currently in a 9-month program working with a teacher on magical pagan practices, doing rituals and meditations and kything and scrying and things. I am also a certified master reiki healer. I've also done work in the Akashic Records. I can see people's past lives. I have done distance healing. And I'm pretty sure I am becoming who I was always meant to be, who I have always been… a Merlin for a new age. 😉

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! [btw if you know my irl name, not here you don't unless we're DM-ing]

gender is so weird tbh but please use they/she for me!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, from what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

~

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of September 2024 I've started s4 and all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

DC (the bats, mostly): dick grayson is so interesting you guys, (as of Jan 2025) im finally properly getting into comics!!

merlin (bbc): i was watchin s2 in August 2024! i finally decided to pick this up again and properly watch it! esp since i really wanna read The Once and Future Kings by tjmcharg & And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly and i can't do that if i watched the show lmao

windbreaker (satoru nii): i haven't caught up with this one in a good long while, but im a manga reader so I know wayyy more than the anime lmao. talk to me about my children (sakura, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

jujutsu kaisen: lowkey refuse to finish s2 but I know what's happening by the end of it and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox :)

criminal minds: (obsession gone dormant, watch me not think about cm for months at an end until like exam season or something) update: as it's exam season (Jan 2025) I am naturally back into criminal minds— Currently finishing up s14, finally.

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (fuck you mappa, I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short. I really hope someone decides to adapt it into a proper season at some point)

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived and dormant (as of Jan 2025) interest of mine (im a few chapters out of touch with the manga and haven't read the light novels)

there's like. so much more

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

ice adolescence-esque fic: mappa fucked up majorly with canceling iceado and im supremely annoyed, mad, and upset. it just so happens that I was in the middle of my yoi renaissance era when the news came out so with my obsession going strong, I really wanted to try doing something with iceado. this is not going to be a very linear story, im going around and about in different points in time. the first narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, i had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov. this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is very interesting and some russians are wonderful people —diversity is a thing, after all— but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane. [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee's iceado"! ]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive (while privately having a panic attack) and we're not gonna get anywhere. Not that I can't get aggressive sometimes when I'm annoyed/offended or sth, like I'm not perfect but this is a general rule of a thumb yknow. Try not to be aggressive. or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Moreover, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

if you support AI art or AIs stealing fic content (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first I will find you)

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

acab however don't be surprised to see me interacting with dick grayson cop posts. it's fiction guys, let me be, some of the fictional cops get to be nice as a treat. irl cops are upholding a faulty institution that only helps the rich and powerful and literally would and have upheld corruption, fascism, racism, general bigotry and many more, thanks for coming to my ted talk—

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[randomnameless]

Jury's forever out (did you know the devs said they had 10k years or lore for the Fodlan verse?) about what Rhea and Seteth were doing during the initial Nabatean vs Agarthan War - but given how they seem to have doubts about their existence or are even surprised by their power to shapeshift... I wonder if they even participated in it or were kept away from that war because they were "too young" or something.

Which leads me to another point you made in the previous post i forgot to reply, Rhea didn't build the golems used to safeguard the Holy Tomb or its mechanics - the Holy Tomb was here during the Sothis Era, so it could be inferred the golems were built by Sothis herself?

We will never know.

About the "losing contact" with the church people in Enbarr... well, the game flies over it because you cannot raise a brow at Supreme Leader's policies in the Fodlan verse, but I wonder if the faithful hid, were turned in demonic beasts, or just died.

This is what is annoying in SS, since it's the Byleth route but Billy can't say a thing, we have the tacky exposition "don't you remember you came up with this plan!" and the route feels... well, annoying.

Given how Edel was hanging out with Rhea's sword when you reunited with her in chapter 13, how Rhea hasn't been sighted in either Faerghus or Leicester, it comes as a surprise that no one actually made the link earlier : Rhea is obviously either dead, or somewhere in the Empire.

Enbarr is supposed to be the oldest (human?) city in Fodlan, it existed before Seiros! Apparently Seteth met his wife there and they got Flayn, and Rhea, while she was Seiros, built a giant canal. The game mentions those things as an afterthought, but when you realise it, it's as if, idk, 1000 years after Ephraim's death, Myrrh was held prisoner in Renais - it becomes even sadder, Nabateans used to live there, and now, the people in charge of the city wants them gone because their ears are pointy.

Too bad Dedue is a green unit thus cannot kill named/important characters, but his "infiltration" in Enbarr is actually referenced in 3 Nopes!

Pretty sure they modified Edel's armor lol, we joke about boobplates and all (the same FEH artist who made summer!Byleth and summer!Rhea gave them larger than source material breasts, so he had to do the same when he made Edel in her golden armor!), but given how the statue in the palace of her ancestor depicts him as a holy knight ! And the unparalled defense is shit - idk if I was unlucky or something, but OG Armor!Knight Dedue has more def than her when she is a playable unit.

In CF, Aymr - Edel's weapon - reveals its secrets, you cannot repair it using Umbral Steel, like other relics, but you have to use Agarthium to repair it. It's a made in Agartha relic copy.

I know I joke a lot about Edel's beef against Rhea'n'Sothis, tbh, after playing CF the "their ears are pointy they're not like us" argument felt like the strongest, but I'd be curious to hear what you think about it when you'll tackle CF. Her line against Seteth (and Flayn!) is, imo, explicit enough, they cannot rule over the "people" because they are not humans, they are nabateans.

Ah yes, that cutscene. She lets her feelings for her teacher take over her cold and emperor persona one last time or... tries to sway Byleth to her side until the end ? Or the devs really wanted to hammer the "feel sad for her" to sell more goodies/alts in fe heroes?

I don't see Hubert as going behind her back, but Hubert wanting to spite Thales even in death, to the point of telling us where to find him to kill him.

The terminology sucks, because Hubert is the one who came up with the "Slithers" name, but then both Rhea and Seteth knows them by this name?

You're right on Catherine, she enrolled as a student, nearly died after Leeroy Jenkins'ing on a monster, Rhea saved her, then she graduated, she was accused of having participated in the regicide, Rhea welcomed her in Garreg Mach, then she arrested and brought back Christophe to the Monastery because he tried to kill Rhea, Christophe died and the Church hid the reason for his execution as "he was involved in the regicide" instead of revealing "he was involved in a plot to kill the Archbishop".

Quickly dumping out the Enbarr notes, since I'm sure the Shambhala section will have a ton of infodumping to note.

I think the only difference from VW is that we run some weird plan where a lot of our troops sneak into Enbarr ahead of the rest of the army moving in. Because uuuuh I guess we're weaker than the united army with Leicester? Everything else is pretty much exactly the same, including Dedue's part and the Edelgard death cinematic.

tbh I think it actually ends up feeling even weaker here? I thought it would fit better, since this is the "you like Edelgard but can't agree with her" route, but since she appears so little and her writing is so bizarre and confused... It actually feels kinda worse, since her dialogue feels incredibly inconsistent.

I thought I'd have some more appreciation for Edelgard after this route, but uh. I don't. Hm.

Anyway, onto more interesting points, I am starting to get the impression that Rhea and Seteth don't actually know much about the Agarthans. I think they might not actually know that the mysterious "those who slither in the dark" are from Agartha (and that's why they have beef), and it's basically explicit that they don't know who helped Nemesis make the Sword.

Which isn't an issue, but it's hard to remember that they know so little in practice.

Liveblogging:

A priestess mentions that they lost contact with all church personnel in Enbarr when the war started.

A soldier mentions that some of our troops have already departed for Enbarr dressed as merchants and traveling performers. We have an entire plan to have small squads sneak toward the capital and link up with the main army. The Empire apparently thinks we have abandoned our plans to invade (after Merceus).

Sylvain didn't think he's live this long (in the war)... bby. He wants to strike down the empire for Dimtri...

Apparently, we think Rhea is in Enbarr because of a soldier from Merceus. I guess Judith only told us that the Empire captured her. I already forgor.

The pre-battle blurb also mentions the troops moving in secret and our surprise attack on Enbarr. I don't recall this from VW. We were already outnumbered there, so I guess here with just the Church and Judith's troops, we're even worse off.

Based on the map close up during the pre-battle exposition, it looks like Enbarr was built on the delta where a river forks into two, with both ranches leading into the sea on the west.

Oh, Dedue is here! AC lied to me :( (/jk)

The music for his entrance is uh... imo it's a bit too heroic, given that he's here because Dimitri ended up like that.

He came after Gronder field, so... two months ago, since there was Merceus in between but not anything else. He gives us info on the inside of the castle (layout, presumably) and tells us that Rhea is at the palace.

Edelgard's axe, Aymr, is described as "a Crest Stone weapon designed to Edelgard's specifications, allowing her to use Raging Storm."

Edelgard's class, Emperor, is "With unparalleled defense, Edelgard appears as an unstoppable force in the legendary armor of the Adrestian Emperor." Note that her armor is a boobplate. So like... did they modify it for her, or....

Edelgard is so confusing. Even to the last, she goes on about how determined she is to "free this world" from the "vile grasp" of the "false goddess and her minion." But like... Edelgard has NO basis for beef with Sothis or Rhea. It's so puzzling and empty.

Dialogue with Seteth: He tells Edelgard to return Rhea and release her grip on Fodlan. Edelgard says that if we strike her down, "they" will return. So she can't permit what we desire (????? what? like, you'd assume she means the Agarthans, but everything else points to her talking about the Nabateans). She also knows that Seteth is a child of the goddess and thinks he can't be permitted power over the people. This is SO wild.

Anyway, to get this dialogue, I let Seteth get the last hit. The Edelgard death cutscene makes equally little sense on this route, btw. Edelgard was going "fuck you guys, I didn't think you'd make it this far, but I don't care and I'm never giving up" in the battle, but now she's all "you must strike me down to move forward, I wanted to walk with you..." GIRL WHAT

Hubert going behind Edelgard's back to write us a letter where he's basically entrusting the future and Fodlan to us is like....... l m a o This was whatever on VW, but on a route where we are the Church and those lizards Edelgard hates so much... god.

Anyway, Seteth apparently didn't really believe the Agarthans were behind all this, or else even around at all. He's very shocked and unhappy about Hubert's letter.

OK, unlike VW, where Claude is there for the info dumps and Rhea holds at least some stuff back, here she has no reason to hide anything. And she says she does not know where or how Nemesis got the Sword of the Creator. They only guessed that someone must have given him this power and tried to investigate it, but they never found the answer. They only NOW surmise that it was the Agarthans. ...hang on, do they even know that "those who slither in the dark" are from Agartha....

Felix and Sylvain are together at the monastery, cute. Felix even calls Dimitri by name when talking about defeating the Empire and the Agarthans to let him rest in peace.

Catherine backstory: She was born in House Charon in Faerghus > was called Thunderstrike Cassandra > attempted Officers Academy, was saved by Rhea as a student > was implicated in "a plot to kill the king" (seems to be Duscur) > fled to the monastery since she felt it was safe > Rhea hired her > and had her execute Christophe when he tried to assassinate Rhea, though the charges given publicly were regarding Duscur.

Is that right?

Anyway, next time: Shambhala

[art-of-love-and-war]

Do you mind making some HCs of Nobunaga x Warrior (Fem) Reader . I can just see him intrigued about a strong woman on the battlefield 😍👏🏾

Characters: Nobunaga/Female Reader

Rating: General.

Word count: 579 words

Warning/s: Just slight mentions of violence.

Author note: Yes, I am back from my yearly hiatus. I am truly sorry for the wait with this request. I hope I can slowly get back to write! As a general note I'd like to announce that I also play Ikevamp and Ikepri! So I'll give those games a try with writing! Thank you very much for sticking with me.

HC: Nobunaga x Warrior!Fem!Reader

The story started with the surprise in everyone’s faces when you punched Nobunaga square in the jaw, it would have been hilarious if you hadn’t been running for your life after he asked you if you wanted to rule the world at his side when you first met.

Since then, the self-defense abilities you learnt in your original time were of great use while trying to adapt to the Sengoku life.

Having the interest of some warlords in your abilities and physical strength, Masamune was the friend that was teaching you how to pick up a sword, and to your surprise he was a great teacher.

The problem was that when you fought it was like going against a wild animal, then Hideyoshi would step in-between to scold him, telling Masamune to be more careful and to remember you were a lady, and then proceeded to ‘teach you’, but Hideyoshi fought like a man possessed, even against you.

Having your butt kicked, you wiped the sweat from your forehead and rubbed your sore palms on your hakama, getting a deep bow in apology from Hideyoshi as he realized he went too hard on you.

And there in the balcony you could only focus your gaze on the man looking down at the scene below him with his cape fluttering in the wind behind him.

Headcanons ahead!:

You had caught Nobunaga’s interest early on, so he couldn’t help but indulge in your desires of wanting to learn fighting skills when you formally asked

The lessons that the other warlords had offered you stopped for a time as you were introduced to several teachers appointed by the Demon King himself to instruct you at your hearts content.

Poisons, antidotes, salves. Military tactics. Swords, spears, archery and even war fans. You name it.

Nobunaga saw something in you, and he wanted to hone your skills. Let’s say it was a payment for not letting him become a pile of ash in a burning temple.

If you show good results, he will call you to the tenshu for a drink (no funny business intended, yet), and will gift you a weapon he had commissioned for you.

He also takes interest in your stories about your modern-day life and what lead you to take on self-defense training.

You do make sure to tell him you don’t intend on taking other’s lives and stand by your values.

He finds this rather interesting, and he appreciates the conviction to stick to what is right for you and the time you grew up in. He also finds the difference between his and your times to be fascinating.

Nobunaga then finds out that he is attracted to your determination and inner strength, on how you look at everyone as equals.

He makes sure to watch your back when you ride off to battle as you play defense and help getting the wounded out of the battlefield. He thinks your heart is too bright for the world of war you get thrown into, but at least you are armed with enough courage to face forward until you can go to your time.

The thing is…He doesn’t want you to go.

For the first time in ages, he believes himself to be selfish for wishing you to stay and wanting to take you away from the place you were so fond of, the place that had seen you grow.

The conqueror had been conquered by someone who defied time and space, who defied enemies to protect those who were hurt and the innocent.

And now, after teasing each other back and forth you stood before each other, practice weapons hand in hand.

“I won’t go easy on you just because you are my lucky charm.” “Don’t worry, my lord. I won’t cut you.”

When you fight, there’s fire in each other’s eyes. You struggle going against him, a warlord who has fought his entire life, and the difference was bigger between your skills.

Whoever who was lucky enough to watch the practice could sense the thickness in the air, seeing the art and the passion on how you danced with your swords, on how you sliced through air to reach the other and claim victory.

The world disappeared around you and it was just the two of you, looking into each other’s eyes, focused on the movements, the breathing.

Until Nobunaga sends you tumbling to the ground, holding you to avoid the impact, but at the same time pointing the sword at your neck and claiming himself victor against you.

As he helps you on your feet there is a strange tension between you, a small tingle running through your body as he praises you for getting better before inviting you for a drink that night.

Well, have you heard the saying ‘Make love, not war’?

[sunflowerim]

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you

Wolfstar au. Word Count: 2341.

Sirius was seriously considering retiring from his job as an Auror. No joke. As much as he wanted to be a part of the force that kept the wizarding world safe, he’d also seen enough violence to last a lifetime. Plus, the ministry was recruiting more and more young people and things were safer now since you-know-who was gone for good. It would be okay if he retired. He’d come so close to losing everyone he loved and now that the war was finally over, he didn’t like it when he had to be away from home for days on missions. His and Remus’ home.

Remus being a teacher at Hogwarts, was given quarters at the school itself which he only used when Sirius was away for work or when he had something important at school. At other times, they’d both come home late in the evening and not let each other go until it was dawn and Remus had to leave for school.

Today Sirius was coming home from a two-week mission. Remus would probably be home too. Merlin, he’d missed him so much. Sirius would never admit to being miserable without his Moony but anyone with eyes could probably see. Hence, for the sake of his sanity, he needed at least a temporary retirement to sort his feelings.

Sirius checked the time on his phone. 7 p.m. Remus would be back soon. He could try to make dinner but it’d just be a disaster. Better to leave it to Remus.

Sirius turned the key in the lock and the smell of food wafted into his nostrils as soon as he stepped into their apartment. Remus was already home and was cooking for them. Merlin, he loved this man.

Sirius dropped his stuff near the door and made his way to the kitchen.

“Moony?”

“Oh hey,” Remus poked his head from the kitchen. “You’re back!”

Sirius ran towards Remus to hug him but was left confused when Remus put his palm on his chest, stopping him abruptly. He was confused further when Remus took one of Sirius’ hands in his and guided Sirius’ other hand around Remus’ shoulder, and lastly slipped his free hand around Sirius’ waist.

“Moony what?”

“Shh,” Remus shushed him as he led them to the living room, swaying them to a silent rhythm.

As they passed the record player, Remus turned it on and a mellow tune started playing. Sirius’ favourite slow track.

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” Sirius smiled as Remus twirled him around.

“Uh huh.”

“May I know why?”

“Just because.”

“Liar. Just say you missed me and go,” Sirius teased.

“Fine, I missed you. Sue me.”

“Merlin, no need to get so defensive. You know you can miss me right? I’m the love of your life after all.”

“Someone’s narcissistic today,” Remus teased.

“When am I not?” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows causing Remus to laugh out loud.

Remus sighed happily and rested his forehead on Sirius’, pulling them closer, all the while still slow dancing to the lazy rhythm. Sirius happily obliged and closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in everything that was Remus.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Remus sighed again.

“Me too,” Sirius moved his head to rest it on Remus’ chest as Remus rested his cheek on Sirius’ head. As much as he teased Sirius about his height, he was secretly glad about it because Sirius’ height fit perfectly with his own. They danced silently for some time before Remus started,

“Waking up to kiss you and nobody’s there, the smell of your perfume still stuck in the air,” Remus hummed in a low voice.

Sirius chuckled lightly, “Feeling romantic are we?”

“It’s ha-a-a-ard,” Remus continued.

“Are we gonna pretend it’s a Moony Original and not a famous song by a famous singer?” Sirius started teasing him again.

“Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round, it’s funny how things never change in this old town,” Remus continued without replying to Sirius.

“I’ll take it as a yes. Ah, singer Moony is deep in thought I see. Ignoring his one and only listener. Well, forgive me for asking questions, sir. New lyrics get me curious.”

Remus smiled but continued singing anyway, “So fa-a-a-ar from the sta-a-a-ars.”

“Except you are in front of a literal star,” Sirius chuckled.

“And I-- hmphh,” Remus struggled to bite back a laugh at Sirius’ words, “and I wanna tell you everything, the words I never got to say the first time around.”

Remus waited for a comment from Sirius but it never came because the latter was busy smiling. So he continued,

“And I remember everything, from when we were the children playing in this fairground. Wish I was there with you now.”

At this Sirius hugged Remus tight. “I’m here Moons. I’ll always be here.”

Remus could only smile widely and hug Sirius tighter as he swayed them to the music and his singing.

“If the whole world was watching I’d still dance with you, drive highways and byways to be there with you, over and over the only truth, everything comes back to you.”

Sirius looked up and placed a chaste kiss on Remus’ lips, smiling softly at his boyfriend.

“I love you Moons.”

“I love you Pads.”

“But I have a question for singer-lyricist Moony.”

“Shoot.”

“We’re just two private people. Why would the world watch us dance?”

It was a stupid question, but Remus indulged him.

“I mean even though we’re private, we WILL invite people when we get married right? And it’s only appropriate to have the first dance as a married couple in front of everyone.”

Sirius threw his head back in laughter, “Yeah right.”

Remus grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, stilling him in place.

“No, I mean it.”

“Huh?” Sirius was confused again.

The confusion changed to almost shock as Remus knelt down on one knee and produced a box. Even before he could open it, Sirius wailed.

“What the heck Remus?”

Now it was Remus’ turn to be shocked.

“‘Remus’? What happened to 'Moony’?”

“I can’t believe you,” Sirius stomped his foot.

Remus panicked. Did he miscalculate? Did Sirius not want to be in this for the long run? Or did he just not want to get married?

“Wha-what happened?” Remus asked, his heart racing.

“You stole my lines, my thunder, my moment to shine!” Sirius almost screamed and stormed off to their bedroom.

Remus stood dumbfounded in the living room, right where Sirius left him. His panic started to slowly shift into pain and embarrassment as he wondered what went wrong. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole. How was he ever supposed to move past this? But before he could dwell on it any further, Sirius was back.

“I was going to propose, you idiot,” Sirius said, shoving a tiny ring box in front of Remus.

Remus felt paralyzed for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.

“Fucking hell Pads, why are you so dramatic, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought you didn’t want this or something..” Remus trailed off.

“Well, now that is stupid. We’ve been together for like two decades, why would I back out now?”

“I don’t know, you should have told me that before storming off,” Remus said, before plopping down on the sofa. This sudden roller coaster of emotions had drained him. 15 year old Remus would have never imagined that adult Sirius would still be this dramatic.

“I had this whole speech prepared, but now I can’t remember shit, thanks to your dramatic ass,” Remus rubbed his temples.

Sirius sat next to him and enveloped him in a hug.

“Aw Moons I’m sorry. I got carried away. It’s just I spent so much time discussing things with Lily that I couldn’t process–”

“Wait you discussed with Lily?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I discussed it with Lily too. Wow, she’s really good at keeping secrets.”

Sirius laughed, “Well it’s Lily, what do you expect? I bet she had a crush on Prongsie her whole school life and only talked about it in our last year.”

“Now that’s a reach.”

“Is it though?” Sirius quirked an eyebrow, “we’ll never know. Anyways, we’re getting sidetracked here.”

“Yeah, I'd even prepared a good dinner but I guess we ruined it all.”

Sirius gasped, “What do you mean 'ruined-it-all’? Does the offer not stand anymore?”

“What offer?”

“To get married duh,” Sirus stated matter-of-factly.

Remus smiled, “Do you want to go first?”

“Ah no I’m not that petty, you can go first.”

Remus turned his body to face Sirius.

“Since I don’t remember what I originally planned, I’m just gonna wing it. Umm, so Sirius Orion Black. Padfoot. My Pads,” he paused to smile. “I don’t think I can pinpoint the day nor the reason I fell in love with you. It just happened slowly and easily. Loving you has always been easy and I don’t think I can ever stop. You’ve gone out of your way to make me happy and comfortable since we were children and I hope you know it meant a lot. That kid who was struggling to adjust to his, you know, condition and the prejudices, found a home in you. And now this man sitting in front of you wants to make sure that it never changes. That you’ll always be my home.”

“Fuck you.”

“I mean later of course why no-” Remus laughed as Sirius punched his arm lightly while trying to hold back tears.

“Why would you make me cry before my speech?”

“Stop blaming me for everything challenge.”

“Challenge declined.”

Remus summoned a glass of water from the kitchen to give to Sirius and wiped a single tear that had fallen across Sirius’ cheek despite trying so hard to hold them back. Sirius quickly drank the water and cleared his throat.“

"There’s something I need to tell you first.”

“Ah, don’t tell me you fell in love with someone else on your mission Pads.” Remus sighed dramatically.

Sirius stared blankly at the man in front of him. The man he was about to propose.

“Why can’t we have a single conversation without joking about it?”

“Must be the trauma. It’s a habit now Pads. You can’t break it.”

“Okay that is true, but I need you to be serious for now. And don’t you dare make the joke about my name right now. Focus.” Sirius waggled his finger in front of Remus effectively shutting him up.

“So I’ve decided to quit my job as an Auror.”

“What now?”

“Listen to me first.”

“It’s just, I came so close to losing you guys. James, Lily, and even Harry. And you. The war has been so cruel and it has taken so much from us. Not gonna lie, I am exhausted. So now I’d like to steal every moment and spend it on people I love.”

“I’ll support you with whatever you decide Pads.”

“I know. So, remember that one time Minnie asked me to take her transfiguration class because she had to go out on a mission? Now, I’m not a fan of teaching but it was fun. I’ve always loved transfiguration so I think it was easy to share it with the class.”

Remus’ mouth was gradually forming an 'o’ with every word Sirius spoke.

“Now that Minnie is going to be the Head of Hogwarts, her former spot is going to be vacant. She wrote to me about it a few days back and I was confused back then, but I think I’m gonna do it. But I won’t be able to call her Minnie anymore. Sad.”

“Oh my god Sirius, that is so amazing. You’ll be a great teacher,” Remus’ face shone with joy.

“Uh huh I’ve heard you’re a student favourite, Moony. You will have competition now.”

“I hate competitions but if it means I get to be with you every day, I’m in. And you can see Harry more often too.”

Sirius nodded in agreement.

“The students would be thrilled. Their DADA and Transfiguration professors dating. Imagine the gossip,” Sirius chuckled.

“No thanks.”

“Mhmm. Party pooper. Now back to what I was saying before you rudely interrupted.”

Remus snorted.

“The war has left many families broken. And I cannot imagine what I would have done had anything happened to you. I have loved you for a long time too, Moons. I think it happened in the little moments when you didn’t flinch at the sight of my scars, when you trusted me enough to show yours, when you gave me chocolates after my nightmares even though chocolates are like your most prized possession and you will share anything in the world but chocolates,” Remus smiled as Sirius went on, “when you let me steal your sweaters every now and then, or when you, a peaceful hermit, almost fought with Reggie for my sake. You’ve just been there. Always.” Sirius took Remus’ hand in his before continuing. “And even today, I can smell that you’ve cooked my favourite meals. You just know what I need. I’m not a fan of the word "forever” but I think I’d like you around for a long long time.“

They gazed softly at each other and in a silent agreement took out the respective rings from their boxes.

"Padfoot, you will not change your mind will you?”

“Moony, may I remind you that my animangus is a dog? I’m quite literally the epitome of loyalty.”

Remus laughed, “So will you do the honours of marrying me?”

“Only if you say yes first.”

“Yes, Sirius Black, I will marry you.”

“And I, you.”

They barely put the rings on each other’s fingers before Sirius all but crashed into Remus’ frame, throwing them backwards on the couch, hugging him tightly and Remus hugged him back that much tighter.

“Dibs on James as my best man,” came Sirius’ muffled voice, his face being buried in the crook of Remus’ neck.

“Yeah?” Remus responded, “I was gonna pick Lily anyway.”

A/N : Wolfstar proposal au because why not. My babies lived happily ever after and no I will not be taking any arguments. The song that inspired this is 'This Town'. And yes, in my universe, Niall Horan and wolfstar exist at the same time.

Aaaand this fic is a gift for a very dear friend. Zehvia, happy birthday bub <3

My Other Works

[leos-regression-cove]

All The Lessons I Never Learned

26. Green Eyed Monsters

Synopsis: Mobius cancels lunch plans with Loki a few days in a row to hang out with an old friend who’s in town. Loki can't help but find this suspicious and upsetting. Similarly, Thor and Sylvie are close, but when they get into a fight and things get physical, they’re forcibly separated.

Word count: 3,872

Stand Alone?: Sure

Warnings: Physical and verbal conflicts, toy mutilation

Notes: Hey it's been a while but here we are! Hopefully this long chapter will tie y'all over for a couple of weeks while I work on the next one. This chapter was an experiment into parallel plots and conflict, so I'd love some feedback on it.

Read it on AO3!

Loki looked down at his watch and paused his game of solitaire right as the clock changed to read noon. 

He made it look like he was doing something, pulling up tabs of spreadsheets, and then scooted his chair away, to walk over to Mobius’ office. 

His boss had a guest, a taller, official looking woman with curly hair. None of that deterred Loki, who tapped on the glass door with the back of his finger and then motioned to his watch when Mobius locked eyes with him. 

However, instead of letting Loki in, Mobius held up his finger in a “one minute” fashion and then kept talking to the woman. 

Loki stood there for a few seconds, assuming Mobius would excuse himself and come chat… but… he never did. He sat there and kept talking. It wasn’t even like this was some serious business discussion either, he wasn’t hiding emotions, but laughing and resting his head in his hands, until he met Loki’s eyes once more and shooed him away. 

Utterly offended, Loki found himself taking a short walk to find some cheap lunch from a fast food restaurant across the street, which he brought up to dejectedly eat at an empty breakroom table. 

He spent the better part of his lunch break there, sitting on his phone with earbuds in while eating a sub-par $5 sandwich. However, he did notice that among the various coworkers that dipped in and out to grab their lunches or clean up their dishes, Mobius was one of them: he stopped to pour some coffee for two mugs and then left, without even saying a word. 

Sylvie sat at the side of the circle rug next to Thor just as she had for the past month, since Thor had started coming to daycare. It was easy, at first, for Sylvie to rationalize to herself that he needed her there to introduce him to the daily process, but now, she simply told herself it was because she had claimed a spot, and that spot was just coincidentally next to Thor. 

When they were dismissed, she was quick to run to a bin of toy soldiers and knights, assuming Thor had followed her, which he had. 

“So you can play this one,” she said, handing him one of the toys. “And I’ll be the king, okay?” 

“I want to be the king!” 

“I’ll be the king first and then you can be the king.” 

Thor picked up a different doll in the pile. “Or I can be another king and we can go to war!” 

This thought intrigued Sylvie. “Okay…”

For a larger chunk of time than was typical for the two troublemakers, Thor and Sylvie played quietly, or at least didn’t get into an argument or get bored enough to bother either of their teachers. 

That was, at least until Sylvie’s king decapitated Thor’s with a magical longsword of instant death. 

“That’s not fair!” 

“Yes it is! It’s super powerful it can kill anyone and it killed you! You’re dead! I win!” 

“No! My king’s still alive, he’s just hurt!” 

“Okay, then I kill you again!”

“You can’t do that!”

“Yes I can!” 

“No! My king’s immortal!” 

“No he isn’t!”

“My healer said he is!” 

“No, that's not allowed! You’re dead and you lost!” Sylvie pushed him. Not especially hard, but hard enough that he felt it. 

Thor, in a moment of rage, hit her with a heavy landing smack that, despite the loud room, seemed to reverberate throughout the walls. 

Sylvie took a moment to process the pain before lunging at Thor and trying to tackle him to the ground. 

“Hey! Break it up, break it up!” Mr. Steve stepped in and pulled the much more manageably-sized Sylvie away from Thor while Mr. Wilson stepped in to hold the boy down, just for a moment. 

“He started it!” Sylvie told her teacher as she was sat in a time-out chair. 

“No! Sylvie pushed me!” Thor argued as Mr. Wilson helped him up and set an adjacent chair out as a second time-out. 

“You hit me! That’s worse!” she screeched. 

Thor picked up the closest possible item, a wooden bridge block that had been left on the floor and flung it at Sylvie. 

It was lucky she blocked it before it hit her in the head. 

“Thor!” Mr. Steve was rather shocked by this; The little hadn’t acted up so much before. 

The teacher stood up, paused and took a breath while Mr. Wilson dealt with other matters and supervised the rest of the littles at play. He seemed genuinely sad that Thor was so riled up about all of this. “Hey buddy, I’m gonna have to send you down to the office, do you think you can walk with me?” 

Thor seemed a little bit nervous about it and tried to hide it by kicking his legs and looking away, furrowing his brow as much as he could. 

“Just until you can calm down… or I could call Loki to come pick you up, but I really think you’d rather walk, right?” 

Loki’s phone started to ring as he sat at his desk begrudgingly filling out his forms. Not the black landline that was possibly older than him, but his cell phone, which reverberated alarmingly in his pocket. 

He picked it up. 

“Hello?” he asked, reclining in his office chair and brushing through his hair with the eraser of a pencil.

“Mr. Odinson?”

“Yes…?” 

“Your little, Thor, is having some behavioral trouble today. We’ll have to ask you to come in so we can have a conversation about his anger and work to amend it in the future so we don’t have further incidents like this. We also request that you’re prepared to pick him up.” 

The formality of the message definitely sounded like it had been taken from a script. 

“Right… Um… Thank you. I’ll be there soon.” He ended the call and hesitantly pushed out his chair. 

Even though Mobius was in his office by the time Loki had prepared his purse and logged out of his computer, he was on a phone call, and looked like he very much did not want to be bothered at the moment. So, Loki wrote down the situation on a sticky note and stuck it on the glass door before clocking out and beginning his walk to Thor’s daycare. 

Picking Thor up early

Will finish up at home tonight

Sorry, 

-- Loki 

“What were you thinking?!” Loki asked his brother, as the little sat on a padded bench in the nurse’s office. 

Thor did not answer, but instead curled himself up into the tiniest ball he could with his blonde hair covering most of his face. 

“Brother, what do you want from me?! I took you in, got you into a nice, fancy school, I’ve fed you, bathed you, and then you go and get yourself nearly expelled? Almost make me lose my job? Ruin my relationships?” Most of those were… a stretch, to say the least, and much of it wasn’t even remotely Thor’s fault, but Loki was too upset to care and knew Thor wouldn’t correct him.  

Thor made a small noise and pressed his face further into his legs, starting to cry. 

Loki tisked and rolled his eyes at this reaction before sitting down next to him and resting a hand on his brother’s back. 

The little pushed him away. 

“Mr. Odinson? Thor? Can I see you in my office?” A woman asked.

“Right… Yes, c’mon, Thor.” Loki tried to pull his brother up.

Loki set down his satchel on the chair once he had shut the door harder than he had meant to. “That was ridiculous.” 

Thor looked at the floor and agreed nearly silently, slowly starting to mope over to his room. 

“I can’t say you should have hit her, but she should’ve been in that office, too.” 

“Yeah?”

“Definitely! ‘Individualized emotional regulation plan’, ‘for the safety of our caretakers’ f-- buzz-off.”

“Um…Brother?”

“Yes?”

“Are you mad?” 

Loki slumped onto the couch. “...It’s been a rough day.”

“You need a nap?” the little tried, patting Loki’s arm cautiously. 

“That’s the best idea I think I’ve heard all day.” 

Not too long after Thor had left, fighting, screaming and crying, Sylvie was informed that she would need to find a new playmate. Mr. Steve even offered to set her up with a lonely little who needed a playmate. 

She had already taken her time-out and had a drink of water from the sink by this point. 

“Um…” She scanned the room for other littles that she could have possibly been paired with. “I think I need to go downstairs.” she said, in the clearest voice she was capable of. 

Mr. Steve nodded, a little bit pityingly, before agreeing to escort her downstairs to where Ms. Maximoff ran her nursery. 

“I’ve got one for you!” he called as he opened the door, cautiously making sure it wasn’t story time first. 

“Sylvie! Hello!”  Ms. Maximoff cooed, helping the rapidly regressing little one with her backpack. She put her hands on her knees, bending down to meet Sylvie’s gaze as the little sat on the floor, both of them ignoring Mr. Steve. “And how old is the little one?” 

Sylvie smiled a little bit and let herself open up more than she did with her caregivers that handled bigger ages, begging to be picked up and given attention without answering the question. 

“Thank you for bringing her to me,” Ms. Maximoff finally told her coworker, while taking out a stroller for the little one. 

“Yeah it’s been a rough day for her. She needs this.” 

“She does. Definitely. I know that baby headspace. Don’t I? Don’t I know when baby needs her headspace?” 

Sylvie squealed and giggled at the teasing as she was set into a stroller. 

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it,” Mr. Steve said hesitantly. 

“Tony’s doing fine, by the way. It’s okay, you’re allowed to ask about your own little,” she mentioned while buckling the kicky baby into her seat. 

“Thanks. He’s--?”

“He’s down for his nap in the back room.” 

“Thanks, Wanda. It means a lot.” 

“Don’t you have a class to run?” 

“I-- Yeah…” 

Thor was somewhat acquainted with many of his classmates. He knew their names, had struck up conversations while in line with them, and had been paired with them on occasion during partner projects, but this was the first or second time he had ever actually tried to befriend any of them. He sought out an open seat and chose one at random. “Hullo Bruce!” He sat down without the other little inviting him.

For a few minutes they sat together in silence as Thor did not know how to begin and Bruce Banner was distracted by a plastic tangle toy and a pacifier in his mouth.

“Can I touch your hair?” Thor asked, more as an impulsive last resort than an ice breaker. 

Bruce, a rather short little, put his arms over his head, covering his graying, once-black curls. “No?” 

“...Oh.” Thor seemed almost taken aback by the rejection. “You can touch mine,” he offered.

Although he moved his hands, Bruce did not take Thor up on this offer, and instead declined again. 

“Do you want to draw later? After circle? With me?” 

Bruce shrugged. “Maybe,” he answered in a timid voice hardly above a whisper. 

“Oh. I like to draw monsters. Do you?”

“Mh--” Bruce shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t really want to be talking to Thor, or anyone for that matter. “A little.”

“What do you like?” 

“... Science.” 

Thor wrinkled up his nose. “So shapes and things?”

At this point the second little had taken his pacifier out and was beginning to talk a little more. He still wasn’t quite matching Thor in volume, but he definitely sped up. “No, like um elements and the periodic table and the body and stuff. My favorite element’s Neptunium. It’s radioactive and metal but Nitrogen is used in everything and your whole body is Carbon. So it’s really cool. Pencils are all Carbon and so are diamonds! I know all the elements on the whole table...There’s Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Barium…” 

Thor hadn’t spoken much to Bruce Banner before and was almost caught off guard by the sheer amount of information suddenly deluged on him and the way that the little stressed words he thought Thor may not have known. In truth though, although Thor had heard them before, Bruce was right: Thor really didn’t understand them. “That’s cool,” he agreed when the second little stopped for a breath.

“Yeah, and then there’s also Vanadium, Chromium…”

That’s around the time Thor locked eyes with Sylvie across the circle. 

 She crawled over. “Why are you over here?” 

“Um… Loki says I should play with someone else today…” 

“Your brother? The witch?” 

“Yeah…” 

Sylvie opened her mouth to say something, but was sorely stopped by Mr. Steve asking her if she could please go to her spot so they could start the circle time. 

Reluctantly, and mumbling about it, she did. 

After circle time, Sylvie quickly found herself abandoned on the carpet, with the exception of Thor and Bruce, who had asked their teachers if they could play with a molecule kit from one of the upstairs classrooms and were snapping bonds and atoms together, with Banner explaining them all while Thor made cool shapes. So, she did the only rational thing she could and tried to find something else to play with. 

This ended up being a bin of dolls. She took them out and began to pretend to play a game even though she had no story line or characters in mind, occasionally looking up to see if Thor was watching her or if someone else was going to come play. 

But when no one did, and Thor seemed involved in the plastic models, she set down the bin and kicked it over before picking up one of the plastic dolls, and ripping the head off it.

Mr. Wilson frowned at her while he supervised before breathing a deep sigh and coming over as she tossed the pieces on the floor. “Hey, Sylvie, is something wrong?” 

She didn’t look up and continued to pop the plastic heads off the Barbies, slowly escalating from gently rolling or dropping the heads and bodies to throwing them.

“Sylvie, I’m going to give you a few options here because I can’t just let you sit here and throw toys.” 

Sylvie looked up at him as if he had just suggested she cut her own arm off and prepared to defend herself. 

“You can help me pick these up and fix them, and I’ll find you something else to play with, you can tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix them for you, or you can go take a few minutes in time out. What’s it going to be?” 

She furrowed her brow in a way that was ambiguous as to whether she was pondering or angered by the suggestions. 

The teacher leaned on the shelf next to her as she grumbled to herself. 

By this point, she had set down the toys, so that was a start. 

He squatted down and began picking up some of the further-flung doll heads, returning them to the basket where he began to match them to their bodies. 

Sylvie began to sniffle, wipe her eyes, and did a generally poor job hiding that she was beginning to cry. 

“Do you want to come step outside?” he asked. 

She nodded while wiping her nose on her sleeve and got up to follow him. 

Although the classroom did take up most of the floor, there was still a small hallway with bathrooms and drinking fountains outside it. 

Sylvie stopped outside the classroom door and took a deep breath after being instructed to take a couple and drink some water after. 

“So do you want to talk to me about it?” 

She hesitated. 

“C’mon, it’s been, what? At least four years now? You can talk to me, Sylvie. I won’t tell anyone else, my job is just to make sure you’re safe and happy.” 

“It’s dumb!” 

“No, I know it’s not.” 

“...Thor won’t play with me.” 

“Why not?” 

“He’s playing with Bruce!” 

“Have you tried asking to join?” 

“...No?” 

“Why not?” 

“Because Thor’s my friend!” 

“You can have more than one friend.” 

“No!” she argued. 

“Think about your papa, does he have more than one friend?” 

Sylvie paused and considered for a half second. “No,” she said firmly. 

“I have more than one friend,” he tried. “And what about… what tv shows do you like?” 

Sylvie stayed quiet for a minute. “...Paw Patrol,” she said, almost as if she were embarrassed to be watching children’s shows at the headspace age of five. 

Before Mr. Wilson could tell her to just look at that, she blurted out: “but that’s not real!” Talking dogs didn’t really exist, let alone dogs who helped in performing with emergency services, she tried to explain through increasing tears. 

“Sylvie, take another breath, you’re alright.” 

She sniffed and tried to breathe only to have some trouble and weakly hiccup. 

“Do you want me to talk to Thor so you can play too?”

She nodded. 

“Alright, you want to take a couple of more minutes or are you ready?” 

She wiped her eyes more fully, leaving red streaking imprints of pressure as she rubbed her face with sticky palms. “I’m ready.” 

Mobius and his companion shared a curb lunch outside the main building where Loki could plainly see them and scoff, as he still voluntarily chose to observe while standing in one of his coworker’s cubicles, only pretending to be having a conversation with him, something which Casey, the coworker in question, did not seem to be able to grasp. 

“...Because Maureen is bothered by the noise of a mechanical filter, he takes a lot more work than a normal goldfish and I don’t even kn--”

“Wait, wait wait, shh, something’s happening.” Loki interrupted with his fingers sandwiched in the plastic blinds.

He pressed his face nearly against the window, making an audible bump as the blinds crashed against the glass pane. 

Outside, Mobius, who was barely recognizable, although extremely easy to spot, with a florescent orange bobble cap on, reached over, and kissed the woman on the cheek. She paused for a minute, leaving Loki holding his breath, and then relaxed her shoulders and not only reciprocated it, but hugged him, which seemed to be mutual… and long. It was nearly 30 seconds until Loki pulled his face away, at which point the two had broken and the woman had walked away in her fancy business suit and high heels that probably made a click clacking on the cement comparable to a carriage horse, leaving Mobius to stand there, watch her go for a minute with a shy and silent wave she hadn’t even seen, and then turn around and walk back inside.

Loki wrinkled up his nose after watching the scene. 

“Oh, is the big rat out there again?!” Casey asked, pushing past Loki to get a good look. 

Loki walked away before letting his coworker tell him about the big rat. At this point, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear about anything that could turn his stomach much more than it was already twisting. 

Sylvie followed behind Mr. Wilson at a distance of three or four paces and at a slower walking speed, stood up straight and tried to make her face as blankly expressionless as she could, which just sort of ended up appearing angry. 

Mr. Wilson squatted down by Thor and Bruce in that friendly teacher way that guaranteed he was going to apologetically ask the for a favor with the shadow of Sylvie looming over him, her hands stiff at her sides. 

“Hey, how are you guys doing?” he politely asked. 

Bruce went quiet and did not look up from his model molecules, chewing on his pacifier as he clicked new pieces together, leaving Thor to do the talking. 

“We makin’ thingies,” Thor answered, shifting from side to side in a dancey manner and motioning to place one of the creations in Mr. Wilson’s hand.

“That’s pretty cool. -- Hey, do you think Sylvie could join you?”

“...Loki said we should not do that,” he frowned. “Because we fought…” 

Mr. Wilson side-eyed back at Sylvie briefly, before attempting to come up with a better solution. “Then why don’t you just share the toys with her?”

Without acceptance, Sylvie grabbed an extra case of molecule models and sat down on the rug about a foot or two away from either Bruce or Thor and slowly opened it. 

“Bruce, do you want to tell Sylvie about what we’re all doing? Get her started with it?” 

She seemed to have a basic idea, connecting the holes in the round, simplified molecule balls with the rubbery, flexible bond pieces. It was unclear if she understood the symbolism or even cared. 

Bruce Banner opened his mouth to speak to her about the orbs, pointing at the nearly sorted colors and getting ready to tell her which ones were carbon, oxygen, sulfur, nitrogen, and hydrogen, but was met with a fussy glare and a simple, clear, “No.”  

It was hardly five minutes until Sylvie began to scoot closer to Thor and speak with him again. “Let’s play something else,” she insisted. “This is boring.”

“Yeah, but with Bruce, too. He’s my friend.”

“No, you’re my friend.”

“...I’m everyone’s friend…” 

“But--!” she looked over to Mr. Wilson to see if he was watching this. 

“We let you play, so you should let Bruce play,” Thor said very sternly. 

“Hey, before we have this whole conversation, we do need to put the kits back together for the big kids, okay? Think you can help me sort them?” Mr. Wilson asked, butting in. 

“So… who was she?” Loki asked over coffee.

It was a cold afternoon, where rain battered against the windows, with the noise only dampened by the occasional whoosh of the milk frothing machine, blenders, and timer dings. Loki was clutching his ceramic mug with elbows on the table top, trying so desperately to be casual. 

“Who? Ravonna?” Mobius asked. 

“Yeah. Who was she?” He didn’t mean to sound as harsh as he did. 

“My ex-wife. Why do you care, anyway?” 

“...I just want to make sure there’s trust between us.”

“Trust? Loki, if you can’t even let me have lunch with my ex-wife for a couple days while she’s in town without snooping-- when we don’t even really know each other-- I don’t know if I should be trusting you.”

Loki pursed his lips and sat back in his seat trying not to look too offended as he thought up a clever retort. “Was she Sylvie’s caregiver?” he tried, hoping maybe the shift would lighten Mobius up. “I-- I’m just curious. She seemed… nice.” 

But instead of indulging him, Mobius merely stood up and put on his coat, leaving mocha half-drank on the table. “This conversation’s over. I’ll see you later, Loki.”

“But--”

“Come talk to me when you’re ready to act like an adult.” 

[vivisextion]

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Ooo tell me bout the OCs pls 👀👀👀

Kisses for you too Tomas 😭 😭 I love you 💕

Okay so there's this whole thing about how swag they are here because Pigeon was also very nice and sent me a message as well, but I think to you I can give more SW specific details since you know who the canon characters are lol.

So Korcha was born in 92BBY, which as you'll notice is either a decade older than Qui-Gon or his exact age, but in any case that means they are the perfect age to be tea time buddies and just sit down in either of their quarters and drink tea with biscuits and talk about whatever Jedi masters talk about (Temple gossip? the Force? their Padawans? I don't know but they have fun!) Their Padawans are invited of course, I'd have to check but I think there was a period of a few years where Obi-Wan was Padawan at the same time as Reil and then later the end of his apprenticeship overlaps with Devafe, so like they know each other hehe. In any case, then Qui-Gon dies and Korcha is obviously supportive, especially because Madam Rules Are Important would obviously like Obi-Wan, and I don't want her to have had too big of an impact but she was definitely there in the background I swear she wouldn't abandon him when the times are tough! I like to think she started inviting him for tea after a few years, and Devafe had to deal with Anakin just Being There. Maybe that's when he kicks her ass even though he's 7 years younger that would be funny. Anyway after the war and everything they don't see each other a lot but at some point they like share a spaceship cause they're going the same way or something and she gives him one of the teacups she thinks would fit him and in my head it's a very touching moment.

While they're on the same ship actually I think it would be cool if Anakin and Korcha swapped Padawans (yes Anakin is there too two halves of a single warrior etc) because Korcha is pretty good at Jar'kai but prefers Shii-Cho, so that's a change from Ahsoka's usual teachers and she could get a lot from it. Meanwhile Anakin trying to understand why Lineth, who is a year older than his own apprentice, still gets tripped up by Initiate mistakes when he knows Master Serach must've taught her better (the answer is crippling fear of failure and stress and it would be sweet if he realised it was useless going over it again and again and instead cheered her up & gave her some self confidence but I don't know how that would go exactly)

About the aforementioned Anakin kicks Devafe's ass in the training salles, I like the idea of them fighting and he's old enough that it's not obvious Devafe would win, and then he beats her and Miss Prides Myself On Working Hard And Being The Best is like "oh no it's fine. No I don't mind haha. Yes Padawan Skywalker well done, you sure got me there! See you next time :)" and then she does her best to avoid a repeat by not being available to fight ever again lol

Also as established Obi-Wan knows Reil, and he actually probably saw him a liittle bit in the crèche but not that much so it barely counts, but Ahsoka 100% knows him and she has fond memories of like, fingerpainting with Master Reil or whatever, and since people her age all know him anyway because there can't be like too many crèchemasters for people not to know them, she just mentions him but Anakin never really talked to him so he's like "wait who's that dude?" and then she gets to explain to him who Master Reil is.

Okay other fun idea but I think Reil likes Yoda because they work together and Korcha likes Yoda because Harches live for centuries too and she totally came to his rooms at like two in the morning the day of Reil's Knighting a little panicked because he's going to die before her and they grow up so fast and how do you deal with that and he comforts her. Like Reil's apprenticeship lasted 15 years, from ages 13 to 28, and he was her first apprentice, and she thought it would be fine because obviously he's ready for it and he'll make a great Knight, but :((( he's leaving now and he's going to die at like 90! She won't even be halfway through her life! She could see his grandpadawans!! And she's grown enough to recognise that she needs to talk about it with someone, and Yoda's door is always open, so Yoda it is. Wouldn't that be sweet?? It would, it would be so sweet!!

And lastly I already shared that one but I think it would be funny if while he was looking for other Mandalorians Din heard the SW equivalent of your grandma who reads people magazines about royalty go "oh yes, I remember that one time like 15 years ago a Mandalorian and one of the Mikkian princesses got married! Too bad the ceremony was private I would've loved to see the pictures" and so he goes to Mikkia instead of finding Bo-Katan or something. And Karaad is still there, obviously, beautiful children and beautiful wife, but let me tell you when the guards announce there's a Mandalorian guy at the door asking if there is a Mandalorian lady here she panics a little. The last time she talked to a Mandalorian if you exclude her dad was a whiile ago and she's desperately trying to guess based on armor description :') and then it's just Din. For maximum crack Karaad is a person who, because she doesn't even know which species she is, spent her life looking through various bestiairies and such trying to see someone who looks like her to know what's going on, so she would most likely recognise Grogu as a baby Yoda, since she's old enough to remember the Jedi and Yoda was a pretty unconventional looking little dude (and also she fought "against" the Order technically so yeah she's familiar with the Jedi, ancestral enemies and all) So she just sees Grogu and she's like "damn wtf, you want to know what that is? Yeah uh can he do magic? Yeah that's a Jedi I'm so sorry dude lol". Also Tevlin invites him to stay for a while if he wants and to dine with them that evening, and he's too polite to decline but he's not going to take his helmet off, obviously, so he has the same type of reaction to Karaad taking hers off to eat he had to Bo-Katan & her Nite Owls, and then Karaad gets to deal with the memories of traditions she hasn't thought of in a while since she doesn't really practice anymore. Fun times etc.

[tuiccim]

Terrigenisis (Part 3)

Pairing: Avengers X Inhuman!Reader

Words: 2916

Summary: Your life is torn apart after undergoing terrigenisis unwillingly your life is turned upside down when you are deemed too dangerous to return to civilian life. You are put with the Avengers team to train and rebuild your life.

Part 1  / Part 2 

 —————————————

Before you leave for training the next morning, FRIDAY asks you to meet Steve in the conference room. You walk in the room to see him going through some paperwork. 

“Hey. Good Morning.” You smile at him. 

“Morning.” He smiles back at you. “I’ve been working through your evaluation for field work. Can you sit with me for a few minutes?”

“Absolutely!” You are excited that he is working on some goals for you. You sit and he goes through each part of the eval. Technically, you’re field ready in every area except one. Firearms. Apparently, your aim has not improved enough according to Bucky. You are proficient enough with handguns, but using larger weapons throws your aim. 

"I'm sorry. We can't put you in the field, yet." Steve frowns.

"No, this is great, Steve. This is what I need to know. Now, I have a goal and I know an excellent teacher." You smile at Steve.  

"Bucky will keep working with you. He says your handgun skills are great. Your hand to hand is excellent. Just a matter of time, Doll. Uh, Agent, I mean, Y/N." Steve puts a hand on his face and takes a deep breath. 

You giggle. You can’t help yourself. “It’s okay, Steve.”

“I didn’t mean to call you doll.” Steve says.

“Really, Steve, it’s okay. I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Thanks.” Steve stands and you follow his lead. 

"Well, back to training, then." You smile.

"Right." He smiles back.

You give him a quick side hug and head to the training room.

 --

The team went on another mission and you were left alone on the compound again. As you are training with Redtail one day you really take notice of her sight. The colors and distance she perceives is incredible and so different from your own vision. You carry the information with you as you go through your routine. While in the range you make an incredible discovery and you can't wait to tell Steve and Bucky. 

The team returns and you are giddy with excitement. You temper yourself and make a huge dinner for everyone knowing how exhausted they are when they return from long missions like this one. That night as you head to your room after cleaning up the kitchen, you hear Bucky’s voice coming from Steve’s room. A low moan and the whisper of Steve’s name. You freeze in place when you realize what is going on between the two. You pull yourself out of your stupor and grope for your headphones as you continue to your room. It takes you a few minutes to truly wrap your mind around the relationship between the two men. You had absolutely no issue with their relationship, but it was obviously not common knowledge. Or at least not a topic of discussion among the team. 

It actually made you feel a little more comfortable. You firmly believed the two to be out of your league, but comments from Sam and Wanda had made you question if one or both had an attraction to you. It put into perspective, also, why Steve felt the need to clarify why he had called you doll the other day. He clearly did not want you reading anything into it. It was sweet really. The two falling in love with each other after being the only thing still tethering them to their pasts. You were happy for them. 

--

The next morning, the team immediately fell back into their routine. You were excited when Bucky entered the range and Steve followed with him as you had asked FRIDAY to request his presence. 

“Thank you for coming, Steve. I want to show you both something.” You smile at both. You had already set up for the demonstration you had planned and handed them each safety gear before you started shooting. Picking up one handgun you hold it in your dominant hand and shoot center mass. Without a break, you grab the second gun with your non-dominant hand and aim for headshots. You set both guns down and press the button to bring the target up for inspection. You look back and see both men’s brows furrowed as they stare at the target. Center mass is a perfect cluster of shots forming a small hole, as are the headshots. 

“How did you do that?” Bucky asks. 

“Now watch.” You pick up Bucky’s favorite gun that normally throws your aim considerably due to the sheer size and velocity of the weapon. Moving to the second target you shoot and again bring the target up to reveal a dead center grouping. 

“Doll! How did you do that?” Bucky says emphatically. 

You set the gun down and remove your safety gear. “I was working with Redtail the other day and I noticed how sharp her eyesight is. It got me to thinking if I could somehow use it to my advantage on the range when shooting. I spent the next couple of days trying to hone in on the distance sight when shooting and it just worked. It’s like I can see through her eyes even though I’m not warging. Can you imagine what this means? I think it’s just like my ability to comprehend vocal communication. I think I might be able to absorb their abilities. I don’t know if it was because of my long term exposure to her or what, but this could mean so many things if I could learn to do the same with other animals and senses. If I can hone my hearing and sense of smell it would make me even more useful.” Your words are tumbling out in your excitement. 

“Whoa, whoa. Hang on.” Steve rubs a hand over his face. 

“Did I say something wrong? Isn’t��� isn’t this a good thing?” You ask nervously. 

“No, yes, no, ugh. Nothing’s wrong. Let’s just go over all of it again. Slowly.” Steve says. 

You start over from the beginning, explaining each step you took to get to your conclusion, and how it affected you. Bucky and Steve asked several questions and you answered as well as you could. When you're done you look between the two nervously. Their expressions gave nothing away. 

"I have to report this to Fury. We need to update your file and do some work with you to see if this skill is something you can adapt to well. Bucky, work with her with every gun. See if her aim crosses over for all of them."

"It does. Also, throwing knives and bow and arrow. I tried everything while you guys were on the mission. But, I'm happy to go through it all again." You say.

"Thorough.' Bucky smirks.

"I'm a planner." You wink at him and smile.

"Go through it all again with Bucky," Steve turns to Bucky, "and I want a full report after." 

Bucky nods and Steve turns to leave.

"Steve. One more thing. I found a dog I'd like to adopt. She's 3 years old and fully trained. I'll pay for her myself but I'd like to have her to work with." You fidget as Steve looks at you with raised eyebrows. 

"You really have been busy. I'll check into it." Steve says with an indulgent smile on his face. "Find me this afternoon and we'll talk."

"Okay, thanks." You turn to Bucky with a grin. "Ready when you are." You bounce on the balls of your feet with anticipation.

Bucky smiles as he starts pulling weapons.

--

"FRIDAY, where's Steve?" You ask that afternoon.

"Captain Rogers is in his room." FRIDAY responds.

"Is he alone?" You ask hesitantly.

"Yes." 

You knock on Steve's door a minute later and smile as he opens it. He's wearing a tight t-shirt and sweatpants making him look ready for a run. 

"Hey. Is now a good time?" You ask. 

"Sure. Are you okay if we talk in here?" He smiles and holds his door open for you. 

"Sure." You echo him as you walk in. 

He pulls out his desk chair for you and then sits on his bed. He looks at you and you look at him and there’s an awkward silence. Both of you waiting for the other to begin

“So, um, you said we’d talk?” You fidget. 

“Right. Tell me about the dog.” Steve says.

“Her name is Dizzy. She’s a three year old Belgian Malinois. Fully trained. I met her two days ago and she handled the warg very well. Highly intelligent. She’s perfect for training and a total sweetheart. What do you think?” 

“Dizzy?” Steve chuckles.

“Yeah. Her litter was named after characters from Starship Troopers. It’s a really campy space war movie.” You smile. 

“Haven’t seen it. I talked to Tony. He’s okay with the dog since it’s for training purposes. Get the rest of the team’s consent and we can give it a test run.” Steve says.

“Great. Thank you!” You jump up and give Steve a hug. 

“You’re welcome, Doll.” Steve says. “I mean…”

“Steve. Really, it’s fine. It’s cute actually.”

“You like being called doll?” He asks. 

“Yeah. It’s sweet.” You smile. “I’m not offended by it or anything.”

“I’m glad. You’re a sweetheart.” 

“So, are you.” You hug Steve’s waist again and head to the door. “I’ll see you later. I’m going to talk to everyone.”

“See ya later, Doll.” Steve chuckles.

You make the rounds to your teammates and receive consent from each of them. You are giddy with anticipation and call the owner to make arrangements to get Dizzy. As you're getting off the phone you hear a voice from behind, “Hey Doll.”

You turn to see Bucky. “Hey. Did Steve tell you to call me that?”

“He might have mentioned that you like it.” Bucky chuckles as he sits next to you on the couch. 

“It’s cute.” You smile. 

“You’re cute.” Bucky smiles back.

You laugh and nudge him with your shoulder. You feel much more free and easy with Steve and Bucky since learning of their relationship. You wish you could tell them you knew but you didn't want to force a confindance. “You two are goof troops.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Silly and sweet.” You grin.

“Nah. He’s a punk and I’m a jerk.” Bucky says.

“You are not a jerk, Bucky! You are a sweetie!” You laugh. 

“Aww, thanks, Doll.” Bucky leans over and kisses your cheek. 

“See! So sweet!” You squish Bucky’s cheeks in your hands and then dissolve into giggles at the silly face he mugs.

“What are you two doing?” Natasha asks as she enters the common room with Wanda, Clint, and Vision on her heels. 

“Just being silly.” You say. “What are you guys up to?” You catch the glance and smirk exchanged between Nat, Wanda, and Clint and roll your eyes at them. 

“Just looking for some food.” Clint says.

“When are you not, Clint?” Natasha jokes. 

“When I’m watching your six.” Clint snarks.

“Wanda, I can pick up Dizzy tomorrow. Want to go with me?” You ask.

“I can’t! I’m sorry.” Wanda frowns. 

“No worries.” You say.

“I’ll go with you, Doll.” Bucky says. 

“It’s an hour drive.” You want him to know what he’s getting into. 

“I don’t mind.” Bucky smiles.

“Great! I’m leaving at 9.”

“I’ll be ready.” Bucky says and gets up to leave.

You join the others in the kitchen and chat for a while. 

“You and Bucky looked cozy.” Clint says.

“Don’t read anything into it.” You shake your head.

“I’m reading plenty.” Clint says. 

“Stop. He’s my mentor and friend.” You say.

“Yeah, you two seem really friendly.” Natasha says.

“Seriously, guys, it’s not like that. Stop.” You say quietly.

“Okay, okay. But don't dismiss it outright. You two would be good for each other.” Wanda winks at you. 

“Uuugh.” You close your eyes and bang your head on the counter. “I’ll see you guys later.” 

“You’ll definitely see Bucky later.” Clint whispers.

“I can hear you, Legolas!” You call back. 

“I meant for you to.” Clint whispers again, chuckling.

--

The next morning you and Bucky leave from the shooting range to get Dizzy. You are so excited you can barely contain yourself. 

"Why don't I drive, Doll?" Bucky says.

"Only if I get to pick the music." You smile.

"Just no more disco." Bucky grouses.

"Oh, come on, Buck. You don't want to 'Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty'" You sing and dance around. 

"Maybe if you keep dancing." He winks.

"That's a little difficult in the car. How about some rock?" You say and Bucky nods.

"Are you gonna keep the name Dizzy?" Bucky asks.

"Yeah, I think it's cute. Plus I like the movie. It's hilarious."

"We'll have to put it on the list for movie night." 

The drive takes less than an hour with Bucky at the wheel. When you arrive the woman seems a bit wary of Bucky but she relaxes when she sees Dizzy's reaction. Dizzy immediately runs to you and then sniffs Bucky before practically jumping in his arms. You are laughing as Bucky kneels down to play with her. His wide smile and low voice with the dog is endearing. 

"Well, she certainly likes your boyfriend." The woman says. 

You chuckle at the woman's assumption but decide it's not worth the energy to explain. 

"I'm glad Dizzy likes me, too. Huh, girl?" He ruffles the dogs head before standing. Dizzy moves to stand at his side. 

You conclude business with the woman and leash Dizzy before heading to the car. Once inside, you turn to Bucky and laughingly say, "Did you steal my dog already?"

"What can I say? I have a way with women." Bucky chuckles. Dizzy tilts her head and lets out a little whine at the noise.

"Chill, girl, you'll see him around plenty." You reach back to pet her head. "You're gonna have lots of friends." You say.

"Have you had a dog before?" Bucky asks. 

"Charlie had a pit named Brutus. He was a big baby." 

"Where is he now?" Bucky asks.

"He crossed the rainbow bridge about six months before Charlie. We were just starting to talk about getting another dog." You look at your hands suddenly feeling the sadness and loss all over again. "Sorry." You say softly.

"It's okay, Doll."

"It just hits me sometimes that he's really gone."

"Grief is a process. You always feel the loss of those you love. He was a good guy, huh?"

"Yeah. He was. You and Steve remind me of him sometimes. He was an Army Ranger. Served three tours. Did I ever tell you that?"

"No." Bucky gives you a sideways glance.

"He had just discharged when I met him. Still adjusting to being back in civilian life. It took him awhile but he did it. He was brave and smart and really, really loving." Your voice breaks. 

Bucky reaches out and takes your hand. "I'm so sorry you lost him, Doll, but I'm glad he was good to you. You deserved that."

"Thanks, Bucky." You hold hands for the remainder of the trip and your melancholy slips away the closer you get to the compound. "Okay Dizzy, ready to see your new home and meet the rest of the family?" 

Dizzy's ears perk up and her tail wags. You and Bucky take her around the compound. Dizzy is very well-behaved and everyone seems to take a liking to her. When you introduce her to Steve she reacts in much the same way she did with Bucky. Practically rolling over for him. You are elated at how Dizzy and the team seem to immediately bond. 

That evening as you are bringing her back from a walk when you overhear Bucky in Steve's room, "Did you know he was an Army Ranger?"

"No. I don't remember her ever mentioning it." Steve says. "She was crying?"

"No, just sad." Bucky says. 

Dizzy obviously hears their voices too and swivels her head. "Wanna check in with the guys before bed, Dizzy?"

You knock on the door and smile when Steve opens it. "Hey. We heard you guys still up and Dizzy wanted to check in before bed."

“Hey Diz.” Steve pets the dogs head. “How, uh, how much did you hear?”

“Um, Bucky telling you Charlie was an Army Ranger. That was really it.” You shrug. 

“Can you hear me a lot?” Steve asks.

“I usually have my headphones or earplugs in. I try to be respectful of everyone’s privacy.” You say. 

“I know. I just forget how good your hearing is sometimes. You okay? This jerk didn’t upset you today?” Steve smirks as he gestures to Bucky. 

“Watch it, Punk.” Bucky grouses. 

“I’m fine. Like I told Bucky, it just hits me sometimes. I mean, I know Charlie’s gone. I’ve come to terms with that. It’s just sometimes… I’m sorry. You guys probably know better than anyone.”

“Doesn’t make it easier for you. If you ever need anything, we’re here for you.” Steve says. 

“Both of us.” Bucky says. 

“Thank you. I’m really glad to have you both as friends.” You smile. 

“Who’s a good girl?” You hear from Bucky a minute later.

“She is!” You smile at Bucky who is on the floor with Dizzy practically in his lap. Dizzy’s tongue lolls out of her mouth as Bucky scratches her ears. “Alright, Dizzy, let’s let the guys get some sleep. Come on, girl. Night guys.”

“Night, Doll.” Bucky says.

Part 4

“Sweet dreams.” Steve says.

Part 3 1/2 (A smutty Stucky Vignette)

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