#if he dies tomorrow i would genuinely celebrate it

[doctorhoe]

so after going through some of the evidence again my conclusion is that I really hope johnny depp dies soon.

[writersdelight]

Hiii! I hope you're having a good day. I absolutely adore Husk, I just wanna smother him with hugs 😆

Could you write one with him and reader that takes place the night before extermination day? They love each other but are scared to admit it. Ultimately Angel Dusk convinces him to confess since 'tomorrow is never guaranteed'.

Lots of fluff and love please! Thank you! ❤️

“ I don’t know what to say..”

Husk/Reader fluff before the Extermination. Not long.

Word count: 842

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-> Content: Fluff, I hope this is tooth-rotting fluff, swearing, mentions of dying, not-proof read (we die like Adam)

-> Author’s note: My first request! Ajdjdgj. I don’t think I’ve written fluff ever, but I swear I tried my best. Tysm, Anon! I’m having a great day.

———————————————————————

Husk hadn’t been interested in making his feelings known during his life and that was all the more prevalent in death. When living in a place like Hell, you gotta be safe, keep your card close to your chest or someone will take advantage of you. He knew that all too well.. but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have certain soft spots..

He liked how you were so genuine, it’s part of what he loves about you. He knows he loves you- he’s good at understanding people and that includes himself. Even if it’s something.. that’s hard for him to admit. Something about the prospect of letting someone in like that is unnerving.

There was only a day left until the Extermination. The rest of the hotel residents were celebrating, trying to live it up before the battle tomorrow. There were some residents who were calmer.. one was Angeldust or well.. Anthony. He appreciated the change he saw in Angel.. Though in the moment with Angel at his bar, he knew the other could tell something was on his mind.

“ …you thinking about tomorrow, whiskers? It got you worried?”

“ ‘Course not. I’m just thinkin’ of how we might run out of booze at this rate.”

Husk laughed the question off, gesturing the empty bottles around the bar. Angel knew that he was lying. With the entire exorcist army about to be on their doorstep, there was practically no chance any of them would making it.. even you. He both loved and hated that you’d be fighting by his side. He loved your passion, the way you wanted to protect your loved ones, but that’s just it: he wants to protect you. You’re safest far away from there.

“ That’s bull and you know it. You’re worried.. but I don’t think you’re worried about you. I think it’s someone else. Someone special to ya~”

As he danced around outright saying the name, he gestured with all four of his hands over to you. You were wrapped up in a conversation with Cherri Bomb at the moment, talking about who knows what. Husk’s gaze followed Angel’s movements… he wasn’t wrong.

“ ……..………”

“ I knew it! You ain’t denying it.”

Angel had a grin on his face as if it was the most satisfying moment in his afterlife (though it certainly wasn’t).

“ You gonna make a move before it’s too late? Say something you need to?”

“….. I don’t think there’s anything I can to say. It’s.. complicated.”

Angel looked at him, taking the situation more seriously than he had before.

“ ….Husk, Buddy, tomorrow ain’t guaranteed. We both know it... so why not go tell your special little someone how you feel..? What’s there to lose?”

———————————————————————

The party had died down, most people were talking amongst themselves at this point… He had to gather himself to work up the nerve to go through with the confession. He knew that he loved you, he was almost positive you felt the same way, but that didn’t take the edge off of this type of deal. He took a breath before walking over to you..

“ Hey.. you mind joinin’ me upstairs?”

He wanted to be somewhere more private for this. Just the two of you.

“ I don’t mind at all.. something up?”

“ Nothin’ to worry about, doll.”

He guided you to the stairs. Once you two were at the top, he led you straight to his room.. you had never been in there. It was.. sort of nice. Certainly dingy. It’s exactly what you thought a man like him would have.

“ …what is this about?”

“ ……….”

He took a moment to figure out his words.. how can he say this? There are so many wrong ways to put it and the possibility of doing it right was slim to none.

“…..we might die tomorrow-”

“ I know that. There’s no where I would rather be than here. Someone needs to show these angels what happens when they pick a fight.”

You interrupted.

“ This isn’t about the damn fight- this is about you. Doll… I.. got feelings for you- I love you. I need you to know incase we’re both double dead tomorrow..”

He was almost surprised to hear the words leave his own mouth much less the surprise you felt.. your eyes met his in the moment after he confessed. There was a silence.

You had felt the same way, how couldn’t you? But putting it to words and saying what you both knew aloud..?

“ I-”

Husk couldn’t finish his sentence as you moved, tightly hugging him. You could feel him loosen up slightly, he had been so tense.. slowly he hugged back.

“…I feel the same, Husk.”

He smiled a bit.. his wings wrapped around you, pulling you closer. It was like you two were the only people in all of hell and that’s the way he likes it. You’re one of the best things that’s happened to him.

Tomorrow may not be guaranteed.. but you two will always have tonight.

[lowkeycasanova]

Idk if your requests are open if not respond to the Privately but So idk if you actually feel comfortable writing for Luffy I am looki for one piece x reader writers who have the requests open and came across you anyway I request takes place after the time skip where reading I ask Luffy if next year they can celebrate Ace with Luffy aka next year on the day of his death instead of feeling sad they want me make sure Luffy is happy so they will spend the entire day doing things would love like eating us favorite foods and doing things he would love

A Day For Him

The sun was setting over the Thousand Sunny, casting a warm, golden glow over the deck. The rest of the crew started heading inside while Luffy stood at the helm, staring at the horizon. His straw hat cast a shadow over his eyes but you could still see his fixed gaze. It's been a year since the crew reunited and tomorrow will be three years since Ace died. Luffy had come to terms with his death, but the pain still lingered.

From a distance, you watched. Your heart aching for him. When you had first heard the news of the events at Marineford, the only thing you wanted to do was to be by his side. You'd seen Luffy smile, laugh, and fight with unyielding determination, but you also knew the quiet moments when the weight of his loss pressed heavily on his shoulders. You then took a deep breath and resolved to make tomorrow a day filled with joy and love, and where Luffy could remember Ace without the shadow of sorrow.

As the first light of dawn broke, not a single cloud marred the sky. The sun shone brightly, casting a warm and inviting glow over the calm sea.

"Land, ho!" Nami's voice rang out, breaking the serene morning silence. She pointed to a lush, vibrant island on the horizon. You all gathered around, excited by the prospect of a new adventure.

When the ship docked, everyone disembarked with eager anticipation. The island was a paradise of beautiful flowers, towering trees, crystal clear streams, and a vibrant village. Luffy led the way with a wide, genuine, smile on his face that made your heart soar.

The crew split up, each member heading off to explore their own interests. As you wandered through the bustling city, the air was filled with different scents. Luffy's eyes sparkled with excitement as he didn't know where to look first.

After a while of being on your own, you went looking for your crew mates.

"Oi, look at this!" Luffy shouted, his mouth full of some fruit he had stuffed in there.

Didn't take long to find him at all.

He dashed from vendor to vendor, barely pausing to chew before sampling the next delicacy. His as appetite insatiable as ever.

"Don't eat the whole thing in one bite Luffy!" Usopp reprimanded.

"Yeah, save some for us!" Nami chided, although her tone was more playful. This time.

As the day wore on, the crew reconvened at a local bar. Zoro had already been there, as you saw the empty sake bottles in front of him. Nami arrived with an armful of shopping bags, eyes glinting with satisfaction. Luffy, of course, dived into his food head first. You founds yourself caught up in the camaraderie. It felt good not to worry about enemies and just have fun. Plus, the pain of the past was momentarily forgotten in the warmth of the present.

When the sun began to set, painting the sky with hues of pink and orange, you all made your way back to the Thousand Sunny. Anchored near the shore, the ship felt like a safe haven, a place where you could relax and simply be together. The deck filled with laughter and the smell of Sanji's cooking.

Luffy, surrounded by his nakama, felt a sense of peace. The words, "I still have my crew" rang in his mind. But y'all weren't just his crew, but his family. And today, was a celebration of the man who had meant so much to him.

You took a moment to admire your captain.

He sat cross-legged, his hat tipped back as he gazed up at the stars beginning to dot the sky. You joined him, sitting quietly by his side. The silence was comfortable, filled with the unspoken understanding that today had been a good day. The stars seemed to shine a little brighter that night and you know that Ace's flame would never truly be extinguished.

[apocrypals]

Weird question maybe but how do you both like Christmas so much?

I am ex-evangelical in the way that probably lots of your listeners are and now that I don’t have the like church-y part of Christmas I just kind of feel bad about it :/ and you guys have such a genuine love for Christmas it seems like !! So if you have any advice about liking Christmas and not getting bogged down in bad theology feelings i would appreciate !! Or if that’s too big of an ask thanks for the show anyways and I hope you’re listening to Darlene love !!

A number of years ago, Chris did a podcast episode with our mutual friend Elle Collins about the joys of secular Christmas, but it doesn't seem to exist on internet anymore, alas.

But without even diving deeply into the semiotics of the thing, I feel there's much to like about Christmas at an absolutely surface level with minimal religious trappings: lights, decorations, music, food, candy, hot drinks, getting together with friends and family, parties, that kind of stuff. For a lot of people, that kind of thing is enough to enjoy Christmas even if they don't have a religious attachment.

However, if you need something more, the things I like to think about when it comes to Christmas are that it's a celebration at the darkest time of the year, when much of nature sleeps or dies, and in a way, we're forced to confront our own mortality. BUT, Christmas (and other winter holidays; this isn't a Christmas exclusive) reminds us that life and death is a cycle: today is dark, but tomorrow is a little brighter. If you're no longer into the idea of an incarnate deity born that man no more may die, consider the holly, the evergreen. If they can tough out the winter, so can we. "Hope," saith the holly.

And we foster that hope with lights and songs and games and music and good food and good will and forgiveness toward the other people around us. Consider these verses from a favorite song of mine:

All hail to the days that merit more praise Than all the rest of the year And welcome the nights that double delights As well for the poor as the peer Good fortune attend each merry man's friend That doth but the best that he may Forgetting old wrongs with carols and songs To drive the cold winter away 'Tis ill for a mind to anger inclined To think of small injuries now If wrath be to seek, do not lend her your cheek Nor let her inhabit thy brow Cross out of thy books malevolent looks Both beauty and youth's decay And wholly consort with mirth and sport To drive the cold winter away

In that podcast I was talking about at the top, Chris talked about how he loves the very idea of Santa Claus, because he represents humankind at their most selfless. Not just in the idea that there's a powerful figure whose whole deal is giving other people things, but that Christmas morning is likely to be the happiest a kid will feel all year, and parents are willing to give someone else credit for it. It almost staggers the mind, tbh.

On top of that, for me personally, one of the major draws of the Christmas season is the wealth of folklore that comes along with it, but your mileage may vary on that.

Anyway, of course, all this winter stuff only applies if you're in the Northern Hemisphere; sorry if you're in Australia or something, I don't have any metaphors for you.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

TW: grief, spoilers for season 4 finale

When Leon had died, Nica had spent hours genuinely believing that if Dimitri had been here, if only she'd had Dimitri at her side, she'd be okay. She'd imagined him saying light-hearted stuff about their childhood, or pulling out obscure myths from his pockets to explain where Leon might be now. She'd thought he would curl up against her, and hold her hand, and let her cry and cry and cry until she was all empty of grief and they could learn together to live without their big brother.

But Dimitri is quiet, when they get off the Ferris wheel. Gemma leaves them to fall into Charlotte's arms, and they hug each other so tight it feels like they're going to disappear into one another. In the end it's Nica who grabs his hand and squeezes it tight.

"Come on," she says. "We should have ice cream."

"There's ice cream here?" Dimitri asks, but his eyes are lingering to a point somewhere to the left of her. He's fidgeting already, like he wants to run off, and Nica feels a tinge of familiar anger try to coil into her chest, but it's worn out and tired and they're doing this better now. They are. So she swallows her venom, and she asks:

"Where are we going, then?"

And Dimitri startles, and looks at her, and opens his mouth, before he shakes his head. "I-" he sighs. "I know, I know he's gone. For good. I know. But I thought... I wanted... I think I need to see the ball."

The probabilities of finding some shard of glass amidst the whole dirty ground are so low they're near impossible, of course, and they both know it. They're both aware, also, that Dimitri is Dimitri.

"Okay," Nica says. "Okay. Let's go, then."

They walk towards the direction Dimitri had been looking at. It takes them a whole thirty minutes until Dimitri, breathless, voice tight, goes: "There." and yes, indeed; the remnants of the ball lay there, scattered across a rather large perimeter.

She remembers burying Leon. He'd looked all proper and nice. She didn't remember picking up his outfit, but in the casket he'd been wearing his favourite sweater, dark blue, the last one mum had bought him before she'd died. He'd never said it was his favourite, but he'd always worn in when it was chilly enough to justify it and that the occasion called for casual but not too much. Especially if this was a celebration of some kind. He'd worn it the day Dimitri had left.

Fitting, had thought Nica then, numbly.

She doesn't know what to think of the shards of glass, but when she glances at Dimitri, she realizes he's staring at them like it's Leon's corpse. Like he's seeing Leon, laying down on the ground, in his blue sweater. She catches Dimitri just in time when he crumbles and starts sobbing, loud and shameless.

Her own eyes are dried and perhaps she should feel guilty about it. Perhaps tomorrow she'll think about this again and she'll hate herself some more, for not being able to cry like Dimitri, but... Didn't she already do that? Didn't she already fall? She remembers how hard she'd prayed and begged and cursed at the universe, at people, at anyone -- please help me. Please hold me. I cannot do this alone.

And so she kneels with Dimitri, and she throws her arms around him, and she strokes his hair just like Leon use to do when they were little and they'd scratched their knees running to a new adventure. She says:

"It's okay, Dimitri. It's okay, i'm here. I'm here. We're both here."

and she knows, then; she knows, with acute certainty, that they will be okay. They will learn to live without Leon. Together. As they should have, several years ago.

[hazelestelle]

Guess who’s haunting your inbox? It’s your self-proclaimed favorite anon of the season! 🎃

I know you haven’t had time to answer my previous ask yet, but I just had a few more questions before I started working on your gift (the vision’s getting clearer by the minute!). So if by any chance you get some time later this week, you’ll already have the questions! Again, if you can’t answer, don’t fret, I’ll be waiting and I really don’t want you to feel pressured!

You mentioned you’d like something in the theme of the holidays. I have a few questions about that.

What do you think that season is like in the other world? How do they celebrate, what do they celebrate? Do you have any headcanons (general or related to specific characters, everything works)?

Since we’re talking non-magical AU, is there anything you’d like to see included or explored regarding that theme?

What are clichés you like and dislike regarding holiday themes? How much do you love holiday clichés? 

Do you love Christmas movies? If yes, what’s your top 3?

A few Saundreas related questions now! 

A. Do you ship them in the past, during canon, in post-canon? (Where do you stand on Andreas is dead-dead in S2 or Andreas died but comes back again eventually?) B. What are the aspects of this ship that make it interesting to you? What do you love the most?  C. What are some of your favourite headcanons regarding Saundreas?

And my final question: could you share some songs that you like and that remind you of Stella and Beatrix, and Saul and Andreas? I was thinking more as ships but if you have some that you think are THE song that was written about/for this character, I’ll take it as well 👀

I have ideas, but I haven’t fully decided which ones I was discarding, hence the numerous questions! I hope you’re not getting overwhelmed!

And if you feel like answering some of those questions now, and others later, it’s all fine, you can just post about it on your blog and I’ll be carefully checking your posts!

In the meantime, merry spooky day tomorrow/today depending on where you are 🎃👻

Hiiii favourite anon!!

I was genuinely just about to answer your other ask, but now you are getting this one first haha. Thank you for being so patient with me!! Life is... a lot at the moment, but your message cheered me up :)

Sooo let's see

Ooohh good question! I have to admit, I never really thought about that, but I will now :) I think they might have "borrowed" some traditions. Definitely decorations. I can see fairies loving decorations. And gift giving. Maybe they just have a general gift giving event? And snow, do they have snow? I hope they have snow! (I love snow lol)

I think there has been a misunderstanding? Because I think I said that I don't like non-magic AU all that much. Or maybe I worded it wrong? I'm so sorry about that! But if you have non-magical AU ideas now, by all means, go ahead!

How much do I love holiday cliches? So much! It's my favourite season of the year, so you really can't go wrong with any of it. Secret Santas, mistletoes, christmas parties, baking, christmas markets, walks in the snow, christmas lights, decorations,... you name it, I'll love it <3

Oohh, well yes, but also no XD The most important Christmas movie here is Drei Haselnüsse für Aschenbrödel, so I don't think that will help you. I also watch Barbie: A Perfect Christmas every year with my sister.

Okay, on to the next set XD

A. All of the above? XD No seriously, I think those all have their own appeal, though I would say probably my favourite version is, they had something when they were younger, are exes during canon, and then find their way back together afterwards. But as I said, any version is good. (I'd rather he's not dead-dead and/or died but comes back later, or my "they find their way back together" headcanon doesn't work, haha. But I do like angst too, so if he's dead in your idea, I guess he's dead XD)

B. The "old friends to enemies (to lovers)" dynamic is just so interesting. The "I once knew you so well", the "this isn't you (anymore)", the "you're better than this", the "I thought you were the one (maybe you can be again)", the "tell me you haven't given up on me".

C. I think I put some of those above already :) But have another one: They had a lot of training sessions that lead to more when they were younger ;)

Ohh, songs. Full disclosure, I am not a big music person, sorry! But if I think of any, I will definitely let you know!

Thank you so much for your lovely messages! I'm so sorry I'm slow answering, I definitely love reading them and thinking about this! So let my know if there's anything else :)

We don't actually do Halloween here, but there's still some spooky decorations up :) Have a fantastic day!! <3

[kanisema-blog]

My In-Laws are Obsessed with Me

Chapter 8

The office buzzed with excitement as I gathered my team in the conference room. We had just received the news that Lisa loved the revisions we made to the first episode and had given her approval to move forward with the series.

“Great news, everyone,” I announced with a wide smile. “Lisa loved the changes we made. Episode 1 is officially approved, and now it’s time to dive into Episode 2.”

Cheers and applause filled the room as my team celebrated our success. It felt incredible to see our hard work paying off, and I couldn’t wait to see where our journey would take us next.

“Okay, let’s get down to business,” I said once the excitement died down. “We need to brainstorm ideas for Episode 2. Any thoughts or suggestions?”

Mark raised his hand. “What if we introduce a new subplot that adds complexity to the protagonist’s relationships? Maybe a conflict with a close friend or a moral dilemma?”

“That’s an interesting angle,” I replied, jotting down his suggestion. “Emily, Jessica, what do you think?”

Emily spoke up next. “I like the idea of exploring deeper emotional themes. Maybe we can delve into the protagonist’s insecurities or fears?”

Jessica nodded in agreement. “And visually, we could experiment with different art styles to reflect the protagonist’s inner turmoil.”

I smiled, feeling inspired by their creativity. “These are fantastic ideas, everyone. Let’s start outlining the plot points and sketching out some scenes. We’ll meet again tomorrow to review our progress.”

The rest of the day was spent brainstorming and sketching, each of us contributing our ideas and expertise to shape Episode 2. By the time we wrapped up, I was buzzing with anticipation for the next phase of our project.

The following day, I decided to take a break from work and visit an art gallery downtown. It had been ages since I had immersed myself in the world of art, and I was eager to draw inspiration from the masterpieces on display.

Walking through the gallery, I marveled at the paintings and sculptures, each piece telling its own unique story. I read the descriptions beside each artwork, learning about the artists’ intentions and the deeper meanings behind their creations.

Lost in thought, I was examining a particularly striking painting when I heard a voice behind me.

“Kelly? Is that you?”

I turned around to see Theo, another one of John’s cousins, standing there with a warm smile. “Theo! What a pleasant surprise,” I said, genuinely happy to see him. “What are you doing here?”

He chuckled. “I work nearby, and I like to come here during my lunch breaks. It’s a nice change of pace.”

“I agree. It’s so inspiring to be surrounded by all this creativity,” I replied, gesturing to the artworks around us.

Theo nodded, his gaze thoughtful. “Art has a way of speaking to us, doesn’t it? Each piece has its own story to tell.”

“It does,” I agreed, feeling a sense of connection with Theo. Despite everything, the Abrahall family had always appreciated art and culture, and it was something we had in common.

We spent the next hour wandering through the gallery, discussing our favorite pieces and sharing our interpretations. Theo had a keen eye for detail and a deep appreciation for the arts, which made our conversation flow effortlessly.

As we approached a sculpture that caught my eye, Theo spoke up. “You know, Kelly, you’ve always had a unique way of seeing the world. It’s one of the things I’ve always admired about you.”

I smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Theo. That means a lot.”

He hesitated for a moment, then continued, “I know things haven’t been easy for you lately. But I want you to know that you’re always welcome among us, no matter what.”

His words touched me deeply, reminding me of the warmth and acceptance I had felt when I was part of the Abrahall family. Despite everything that had happened, there was still a place for me in their hearts.

“Thank you, Theo,” I said softly. “That means more than you know.”

We continued our tour of the gallery, sharing stories and laughter as we explored the world of art together. It was a brief respite from the demands of work and the complexities of life, a moment of connection and understanding.

As we said our goodbyes outside the gallery, I felt a sense of gratitude for Theo’s kindness and a renewed sense of purpose. The future was still uncertain, but I knew that with the support of my team and unexpected encounters like this, I would find my way forward.

Driving home, I reflected on the day’s events and the conversations that had touched my heart. The road ahead was filled with challenges and possibilities, but I was ready to face them head-on, one brushstroke at a time.

[pills-dolls-and-kittycats]

Part 3 - Death Path

While I recall when I first started to consider Sam a friend rather than a client, I'm never quite clear on when it began to feel like more. Perhaps it was when I went to see him on the first weekend in March, right after he told me that his girlfriend passed away. Other times I think it was just after his mother's funeral, which was the first time we had sex. The trail of death paved the way for us, in many more ways that I initially realized.

It must have been March 3rd. Harlow, Adela, Zilka, and I were having afternoon tea at an upscale tea house on the outskirts of the city in celebration of Harlow’s birthday. It was one of those late winter days when the sun was shining through a curtain of falling snow. We were seated in a round glass room surrounded by gardens, which were just naked branches at this point in the year. The tea room was busy, but the shining white flakes falling against the curvature of the glass walls made it feel serene, like being inside a snow globe. 

I felt a sense of joy and wonder. Spring was around the corner, school was nearly done, I was spending quality time with my three oldest and dearest friends, and there was scandal and drama in the air. My friends were there for it.

“I think I might be having an affair with a former client” I announced.

“So is he also in a relationship?” Asked Harlow.

“Apparently not anymore, his girlfriend died last week. I guess he’s just my side piece now”. 

I admitted that I found him embarrassing but somehow couldn't explain the odd attraction I developed for him. The tea got hotter when we brought up Zilka’s one night involvement with him years prior.

“What’s he like?” inquired Adela, turning to Zilka.

“To be honest, I thought he was mentally delayed when I met him, and actually considered the question of consent about going home with him. Ultimately, I decided I was being extra progressive by overlooking it, but we didn’t click. I didn’t see him again.”

“He is very awkwards and strange.” I agreed. “But I think it has to do with all the drugs he does. Honestly I’ve never seen anyone consume as many drugs and all at the same time. He may not be long for this world either.”

Adela continued with her inquiry, “So how did his girlfriend die?”

“No idea, I don't feel comfortable asking, I'll let you know if I find out”.

We drank tea, ate pastries, gossiped and giggled for hours. I was having tremendous fun, but couldn't help looking forward to evening time when I'd get to see Sam. In part because I wanted more gossip to report back to my ladies.

While Harlow disapproved of my choices she was curious. “So do you have feelings for him?”

"Not really, not in a romantic sense. I think of him as a really good friend.”

"So if things just ended tomorrow how would you feel?”

"Honestly, I would be sad at a loss of a good friend, but I wouldn't be heartbroken.”

Adela interjected, “Arguably the loss of friendship is far worse, isn't it?”

"It really can be.” We all agreed.

As I entered Sam’s apartment I handed him a bottle of fine tequila and offered my condolences 

"It’s fine. Don't worry, I'm not emo about it or anything.”

“It’s okay to feel sad Sam, I'm here if you want to talk about it.”

“I’ve mentioned Alice to you before, haven't I?”

"No actually, not until you texted me about her death.”

"I’m sure I have, you probably don’t remember.”

I had no idea what to think of this exchange.

“Anyways” he continued, “She's the one who taught me to make martinis the proper way, she was a bartender. I met her though Meena actually, they used to be friends.”

I noticed there was a lit candle in his living room. He fixed us a couple of martinis, Alice style, and brought out a plate of cocaine.

"She wasn't texting me back the whole time I was in BC, I sent her the song Ghosts, thinking she was ghosting me.” That when I heard his voice crack a little, it's the first (and possibly the last) time he seemed genuinely sad. He quickly shook it off and continued with his story.

"She left her health card here. When I couldn't reach her, I went by her condo to leave it at the front desk, and the cops were there.”

“Did you get questioned?”

"Not really. They probably went through her phone already. I think they knew I was out of town.”

I got no closer to finding out what happened, except now I was left even more curious. 

Crash

Completely frozen

Rainbow circle spins for days

Everything is lost

The next day, my computer crashed beyond repair . I lost everything, and finals were fast approaching. After stupidly attempting to reboot it on my own for a couple of days, I wrote a haiku about it for creative writing class and finally took it to the shop to have the hard drive replaced. The data was not salvageable. 

That day I had my first breakdown of the week, at which point I smashed my phone repeatedly into the back of a bus seat while yelling obscenities at the driver. Now, I was no longer able to even access my online class material. I was writing my final poli-sci paper mostly by hand (through tears), but also on my tablet (between fuming fits of rage). I couldn't see full pages, I couldn't open multiple tabs, I didn't know what I was writing or what I already wrote. I was stressed and running out of study aids which I needed now more than ever before. 

Two days later my phone got repaired. I had a second breakdown around this time - though no electronics were hurt. Upon starting up my phone for the first time in days, I texted Sam in a state of panic. He responded with, “can't meet now. I'm at the hospital with my mommy’s remains.” 

I could not in good conscience follow up with my own concerns. Shortly after he texted me again with details for his mother's funeral. I think this was Friday, the funeral was on Monday and Tuesday, my final paper was DUE. 

In addition to my school anxiety, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of going to the funeral. 

“Isn’t this the person that made all those soups for you?” enquired Adela.

“Yes”.

“I think you have to go.”

"I just can't tell, like doesn't he have closer friends than me? And won’t relatives wonder who the fuck I am?”

"He’s reaching out to you in his time of need.”

"Yeah, I kinda can't believe the amount of tragedy this person is facing. I guess I don't have a choice.”

Beyond a sense of obligation, if I was being perfectly honest, I was curious. I wanted to know what his weird life actually was like, and I always enjoyed an excuse to wear a sharp pants suit. 

That Saturday night I received notice that my computer was fixed but I couldn't get to the shop in time. I tried to pick it up on Sunday but the shop was closed. I managed to get it back by weeping hysterically into the phone until the shop owner came in on his day off to allow me to retrieve it. I begin to type! I got halfway through to learn that the paper was actually coherent and only required a bit of tightening on the paragraphs to make some semblance of sense. I got to the halfway point and I discovered madness!!! It’s all abject borders and bio politics and do I really need Agamben in this???? And how did Derrida make his way in here??? It did not seem to contain a single complete sentence! What was I trying to say??? It’s 2 am, my eyes were burning, nothing made sense anymore and I had to be up for the funeral at 9 am. I gave up. 

The morning of the funeral started off dramatically. Sam put me in touch with his neighbour Erik so we could grab a ride together. The night before we agreed to touch base at 10 am and meet in front of the buildings at 10:15 in order to get to the funeral for 11. 

I called at 10, no response. I began to make my way down stairs when I realized I called the wrong number. I called the right number by 10:15, Erik answered “YES?”

"Oh hi, are you still waiting outside the buildings?”

"No! I left already. I couldn't just wait around not knowing if you slept in or whatever”.

"I'm sorry, I called the wrong number initially, but we did plan to meet at 10:15 and it's 10:15 now.”

"Um no. It's 11. You might want to get that checked.” He immediatly hung up.

I was panic stricken. 11?! My phone gave every indication it was 10. I called a taxi and the driver confirmed it was not yet 11. I started to worry that I got it all wrong. What if the funeral was in fact at 10 and I'm arriving an hour late? What if I'm headed to the wrong temple? Erik had the address.

I arrived at Heather Bloomberg's funeral with a good 20 minutes to spare. 

The service was moving. I learned that his father was a retired government official, his mother, a professor, his sister I already knew made documentaries and her husband, a symphony composer. They were all so upstanding and lovely. I was beyond shocked and baffled as to what the fuck was wrong with Sam specifically. I ended up journaling about it for my creative writing class: 

IT WAS A SHIT SHOW OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. 

The funeral was lovely, but it turns out that my usually very tolerable drinking buddy is extremely bad at grief. He managed to pick a fight with his family’s Rabbi, the Cantor, and his parents’ really nice friends who organized the Shiva sitting for them in their condo party room. It was now up to his drunk ass friends (including myself) to wrangle him repeatedly in order to keep him from causing more damage or getting himself badly hurt. After a few drinks and as the pathological problem-solver that I am, I was running back and forth attempting to mediate every situation (no one asked me to mediate), for people I have never met before (it was not good).

We eventually veered away from the civilized adults to end up in his friend’s recording studio in the middle of the night. I was now in a nightmare scenario which included a community of middle-aged, washed-up rock musicians and their accompanying, middle-aged groupies, all thoroughly still living in the 70s and 80s and behaving in a manner fitting those times. I suddenly recalled why my generation put a hard stop to ALL OF THAT. I was suddenly feeling like a very aggressive fly on the wall of some 1960’s rock parody. Drunkenly, I spent the whole night attempting to rescue all the glammed-up women from their turbulent lives of too many men and not enough self-esteem. All the while the women very adamantly demanded way too much explicit and objectifying male attention, and were lamenting their unfulfilling lives. I (even more drunkenly) gave them all my phone number believing there would be a consciousness-raising session to come. Many regrets there. 

On the positive side, those creepy dandy geezers still party like some freakish miracles of modern medicine. At least it seemed like the positive side at the time, less so the next morning when I woke up with the horrific sense of WTF just happened? Really, I barely recalled. I was dizzy, noxious and craving violence with a final paper to complete.

The next day I managed to complete my final paper through a painful hangover and absolutely no drugs. The previous night was the first time I'd seen Sam in public and I couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that he was suddenly a completely different person. My usually sweet, flirty, soft spoken friend was crass, angry, loud and entitled - a complete embarrassment. Still, I chucked it up to grief. Many people show their worse sides in situations of extreme stress. And Sam had so much to grieve about. 

Miraculously I completed and submitted my paper exactly on time and I felt like celebrating. I grabbed a bottle of brandy from my liquor cabinet and headed over to Sam's. He was about to watch The Tragedy of McBeth and suggested we drop acid. Sam has offered me acid many times before, but with my school workload it was always too much of a time commitment. This time I accepted.

When we started to feel really high we moved to the bedroom. We went under the covers and I allowed him to penetrate me for the first time. Our bodies were right up against each other and it was very intense, but not like making love, more like something dark and mystical. I would at moments forget the boundaries between our bodies as I fell in and out an ocean of senses and visions. When I started to come down I decided to go home. It was nearly morning and I had trouble staying asleep between snippets of fevered dreams. I was overwhelmed with the smell of my aunt's pajamas - a memory scent lingering from childhood. I changed my sweaty sleep shirt several times and when I finally fell asleep I had a weird dream. I was in a graveyard and Sam was standing by a tombstone mouthing something intently though no sounds exited his lips. The tombstone had numbers scrolling fast across its surface like code on a computer monitor. Everything was dark, and visible mainly in shades of grey.

I was starting to suspect that he was putting a spell on me.

Alice's Martini

Though I'm sure this technique isn't unique, it is truly worth a mention.

Swish dry vermouth in a chilled martini glass than pour it out. 

Pour in about 2 oz of frozen vodka. 

Rub a little lemon rind around the rim of the glass and finish it off with a lemon twist.

[phaticserpent]

Celebrating their Birthday pt.1(?)

The reader celebrates their birthday (all the characters I write for) can be platonic or romantic: Ultron, Peter Pan, Felix, Pitch Black, and Jack Frost

Warning: a little suggestive for Pitch

Ultron

It was a random thought that came to you. He would always celebrate your birthday, but you never recalled celebrating his birthday. Curious, you slipped into the living room where Ultron was. He was busy fiddling with something and you took the seat next to him.

"Hm? Are you hungry?" He looked up from his activity.

"No, I just have a question."

"You're welcome to ask away."

"When's your birthday?"

He seemed to hesitate before answering, "I don't have one."

"Of course you do! The day you came into existence is your birthday." Knowing he couldn't really shake you off, he replies with the date he saw when he first woke.

You jumped up from your seat. "That's tomorrow!"

"Mm." Ultron hummed. He watched you disappear into the room out of the corner of his eyes. As it was his first birthday celebration, you wanted everything to be perfect. And when tomorrow came, you made sure everything was still where you left them. Of course, Ultron was up early and occupied in the kitchen to prep breakfast.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah." You peered over to see what he was cooking. "I shouldn't be making you cook for me on your birthday." You huffed, crossing your arms. Ultron raised a brow at you.

"Well it's my pleasure. Plus, you can't cook."

"Ouch."

"It's true."

"It is." You laughed. While Ultron was finishing up, you set the table and brought out his gift as well as his card that you had made. As you stared at them in your hands, you started to have second thoughts as his gifts were more intricate and well thought out. You glanced over at Ultron and started to doubt yourself. Before you knew it, he approached the table with breakfast in hand.

"Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah!" He watched you sit down and he took the seat across from you. "Do you have any plans?"

"Not today." He hummed. You nodded and slowly drew out his gifts in your hand.

"Well...it's not much," you bit your lips as you handed them to Ultron. He stared at them and then back to you. "I...I wish I prepared something more for you. You've done so much for me and looking back on it, my gifts seems so insignificant compared to yours. You deserve a lot and I promise I'll—"

"Thank you." Ultron smiled. You looked up at him, as you were staring at the uneaten food, to see that he was staring at the card. "You're the first person to do something like this for me.....you may not know it, but I really appreciate everything you do. Thank you." You smiled at him, but his smile dropped when tears started to fall.

"W-what's wrong?" Panicking, Ultron stood from his seat to move towards you. When he was next to you, you threw your arms around him.

"You mean so much to me." You cried. Ultron rubbed your back softly as you cling to his waist.

As your tears died down, he teased, "shouldn't I be the one crying?" You laughed between your cries. You managed to shout out a choked 'happy birthday' for him. For the rest of the day, you and Ultron spent the time doing anything he enjoyed. Which mostly consisted of rewatching movies, finding a remote area to watch the sunset together, talking under the stars – just enjoying your company was all he could ever want.

"Thank you for today.....I genuinely enjoyed it and you....." Ultron paused. "Well, I never enjoyed my 'birthday' since it wasn't as pleasant but you made it easier. Thank you for everything."

"Of course! This is literally the least I could do for you." You smiled sheepishly. "You deserve the day for yourself."

Peter Pan

It wasn't odd that no one knew anything about Pan, but you bet Felix did.

"Hey, Felix." You whispered. The boy was scraping down the last spoonful of his plate and he shot you a puzzled look. "When's Pan's birthday?"

"Ask him." He responded.

"Where's the fun in that?" You whined. "I bet you know."

"Nope."

"You're lying."

"I'm not." Felix shrugged. "He never told me."

"Well that's a surprise." You huffed.

"Just ask him." Felix nodded towards Pan. You let out a sigh, you knew he was right. Speak of the devil, Pan walked over to the two of you and took the seat next to you.

"I heard my name." Pan raised a brow. "Ask me what?" You don't know why you felt your face flush but you glanced at Felix, who immediately avoided your gaze.

You sighed, "Well, we were wondering when your birthday is."

"They were." Felix corrected.

"Oh shut up. I know you're curious too." You scoffed. Pan just chuckled.

"Alright, I'll tell you two." He smirked. "But first, I want to hear your guesses."

"You look like a summer child, so.....June?"

"August?"

"May?" The two of you took turns randomly listing month and dates. While Pan just sat back with a cheeky grin.

"Alright. Wow, you guys weren't even close." Pan scoffed while you and Felix glared at him. Eventually, Pan told you his birthday.

"Oh! That's.....that's.....I don't even know what day it is." You realized. Pan had a smug look on his face.

"Oh don't worry about it. It's not like I expect much anyways." Pan stated. "Alright, it's nearly curfew." He stood up abruptly, dismissing everyone to bed. You eyed him cautiously. You stood up too, but stood besides Pan.

"It's today, isn't it?"

"Hm, what is?"

"Your birthday." You said. Pan shot you a short smile, it wasn't a cheeky smile but something that was all too familiar. "Come on." You took his hand and dragged him away from the camp.

"—(Y/N), seriously, I don't really celebrate—"

"I'm not hearing you out." You dismissed. Pan caught up with your pace, not resisting anymore and the two of you walked hand in hand through Neverland. Eventually, you came into a clearing where the view was absolutely breathtaking. It had a perfect scenery of the ocean with the full moon, the forest behind you. It looked like something out of a fantasy world.

"I see you've done some exploring." Pan chuckled. He was taking in the scenery and wasn't paying attention to you rapidly trying to set stuff up. So when he turned around to look at you, you were already sitting with cake. "Where–?"

"I was saving it." You replied. "For a special occasion, but I think that time is now." Pan sat across from you. In the dim moonlight, you could see a soft smile forming and....were those, tears?

"....thank you." He turned his face away to brush away the tears.

"Pan—"

"I just got dust in my eyes, I'll be fine." He dismissed and you let out a short giggle at how stubborn he was.

"Come on, it's supposed to be a happy occasion. That's why it's 'happy birthday'." You teased. "Happy birthday, Peter." Throughout the night, the two of you finished the cake under the stars while conversing. Soon enough, it came to an end and you walked back to camp with Pan.

"How can I thank you?" He cleared his throat.

"What is there to thank? It's the bare necessity."

"Either way....you still cared."

"Fine, since I know you won't stop pestering me." You bit the inside of your cheek. "I'll take a hug."

"A hug?"

"A hug." You smiled. Pan just shrugged and brought you into his embrace. You squeezed him gently as you felt him relax into you. Although your grip on him began to loosen, he didn't let go. You held him as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Are you alright?"

"Mmm, I like this."

"Hey, this is suppose to be my gift."

"I know you're enjoying this." Pan mumbled and you chuckled. He let go and you swore you could see the flush of his cheeks.

"Good night Pan." You smiled. Pan's smile faded as he nodded, a little sad that you had gone back to calling him 'Pan' instead of 'Peter'.

"Good night [Y/N]." He replied. "But next time, call me Peter."

"Will do!" You chuckled before heading towards your tent. Pan left with a giant ass smile.

Felix

He was a quiet and reserved guy, so it wasn't a surprise when the other lost boys couldn't answer your question. You had known Felix for quite some time, yet he never mentioned his past nor his birthday to you. But you bet that one person knew.

"I don't know." Pan shrugged. You stared at him in disbelief.

"You're kidding."

"I'm not." He scoffed. "When have I ever 'kid'?"

"Do you want me to answer that?" You raised your eyebrow at him as he smirked at your rebuttal.

"Fine." After he told you the day and what day today was, you thanked him quickly before making a beeline to your tent. You realized you didn't have anything for Felix, no present, no card, no cake. So you rushed back to Pan to tell him your plan.

Eventually, Felix returned from the hunt with a few other lost boys. You rushed to Felix, "I can get that for you." You insisted.

"It's okay, I got it." Felix dismissed.

"No I got it." You assured. He stared at you in confusion before finally handing the hunt to you. There was a soft grunt from you, but ignored Felix's raised brow. He went to Pan and watched as you lugged the hunt to the campfire. You immediately told the returning lost boys the plan, and they all agreed. The rest of the night, everyone took Felix's regular duties. Which left him confused and a little sad.

"Am I no longer your best man?" You overheard him asking to Pan.

"What? Of course you are." Pan scoffed. "I just thought, today may be a good day for you to get some rest. The other lost ones can handle it." Felix didn't seem convinced, but he just nodded since it was Pan.

Finally, as dinner came to an end, the campfire started. To further avoid suspicion from Felix, Pan began the tune as normal. You watched in anticipation as Felix tended to the fire. Then, the music changed to a tuned down 'happy birthday'. The lost boys began to dance and clap in rhythm as Felix's expression turned dumbfounded until you brought out the cake, provided by Pan.

"What–?"

"Happy birthday, Felix!" You smiled. Pan smiled as he watched Felix blow out the candles and everyone cheered. You distributed cake to everyone, obviously giving Felix and Pan the biggest piece.

"You told them, didn't you." Felix whispered to Pan.

"'Course I did." Pan smirked. "Happy birthday, Felix." You watched as Felix's face flush and nod. You turned away before they could catch your gaze.

Pitch Black

You had the entire day thought out. The morning would be casual and simple, then you two would go out for lunch - to a restaurant or cuisine of his own choosing. Return to spend more time together before you cook him his favorite dinner and finally give him his gift, then watch horror movies together. You sighed in content and hoped the day would actually go as planned.

Though, speaking of Pitch, he was nowhere to be found around his entire lair. You searched high and low until the shadows stirred.

"Oi, where's Pitch?" You asked them. They scowled and whispered amongst themselves until they finally answered.

"A Nightmare had escaped last night, and Lord Pitch went out to take care of it. The mare had caused quite a havoc." You gritted your teeth. Of course this would happen on a this day, the last birthday, he had gotten trapped in a dream catcher. You just hoped it wouldn't take long.

A few hours went by and you decided to start prepping for dinner. The fearlings curiously watched you, inching closer but you smacked them away from the food.

"Lord Pitch should've arrived by now." The Fearlings all sighed, and you joined them. You stared at the collection of horror movies he had. "Oooh, that one is good." They pointed at one of the horror movies and you picked it up. As you scanned the summary, a lone fearling rushed in.

"He's here! Lord Pitch is on his way!" The other Fearlings cheered and you sighed in relief as Pitch descended into his lair on a nightmare.

"–Ridiculous. Get out of my sight before I vaporize you." Pitch growled as the Nightmare galloped away. "Should've left them to the Guardians." His stern face diminished when he saw you and realized the time.

"Pitch–"

"(Y/N), I am so sorry for the delay.....I wasn't expecting it to take so long–" He explained, but you went in for a hug.

"Happy birthday." You sighed. Pitch gently rubbed your back in reassurance while the Fearlings snickered nearby. He sent them a deathly stare and they all went running into the shadows. Finally, you pulled away and dragged him to the kitchen. "I made you dinner, it might be cold but I can reheat it. I know you had a long day–" you started, but Pitch pulled you towards him. You faced him, flush against his chest as his other hand cupped your cheek before he pressed his lips to yours. He pushed you against the counter and lifted you on top of it, his hands now gripping your waist.

"The dinner can wait, I'd rather spend this moment with you." Pitch hummed.

Jack Frost

You knew Jack's birthday was coming up and you wanted to prepare something special. It's been a few years since you two met and of course you would throw a tiny celebration. By 'tiny' it would just be the two of you. You had already set up the cake, it was an ice cream cake and it was decorated with extreme care and thought.

Now, you stood in your room trying to plan out the entire day for him. "Perhaps if I took him ice skating.....? No, that's too simple. What about an amusement park? Too busy and he might be reminded that some people can't see him......" You were busy thinking out loud, that you hadn't noticed Jack fly in.

"Yo." He finally greeted, causing you to jump. "So? What's so special about tomorrow that's got you so worked up?" He didn't know?

"When did you get here?" You rushed around trying to clean up your room.

"Eh, just a minute ago." Jack tilted his head at you. "Do you plan on doing something tomorrow? Cause I'll be busy." Your heart sunk. Truth be told, Jack was just messing with you.

"Oh, huh. I was hoping we could spend the day together." You chuckled nervously. Jack shook his head. "You can't even visit for a minute?"

"Nope." Jack grinned. Which made you realize his little prank.

"You little–" you scowled as he laughed. "Jerk."

"I'm sorry–" Jack cried out in between laughs.

You rolled your eyes and smirked, "you know what? No cake for you."

"No." Jack gasped.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)!"

"Nope, it's too late." You smirked as Jack played along. Sooner or later the two of you came to an agreement when the birthday would start.

The day finally arrived and you were starting to worry about how plain his birthday might've been. And it was definitely difficult to navigate without Jack having to use his powers.....despite him making it clear that he was fine with it, you still insisted on driving. Truth be told, there wasn't much to do in Pennsylvania, even if you drove for a couple of hours. So, you took Jack around town and bought everything he wanted or needed.

"Are you sure? I don't want to waste your money like thay......I know how hard you worked for it." Jack scratched his head.

"Yes I'm sure." You grunted out, ignoring the strange look the cashier was giving you. The two of you settled on ice cream as you walked around, even coming across a lake where the two of you dipped your feet in. The peaceful moment lasted about a second before Jack kicked water at you. The water fight was one sided as Jack turned the water into ice, and you were shivering from the cold. "Jerk."

"You love me."

"In your dreams." You teased. As you drove back home, you couldn't help but think it was too simple. "....I'm sure you've had better birthdays in the past......I'm sorry if it's too boring or something like that." Jack gave you a quizzical look.

"No, this is the best birthday I could ask for. I don't know why you think that it's boring....." Jack chewed the inside of his cheek. "I had a lot of fun, and I have you to thank for it. Plus, I never really knew my birthday when I lost my memories."

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry Jack."

"No don't be." He smiled. "I genuinely had fun, but don't stress yourself out. I always have fun whenever I'm with you." The rest of the drive, your face was flushed but Jack was busy staring out the window to notice. You returned home and brought out the ice cream cake, lighting the candles and singing the traditional happy birthday song. Jack couldn't stop from staring at you, even after the song was over.

"Make a wish." You smiled. He nodded before closing his eyes and reopening them to blow the candles out.

"Thank you." Jack smiled, his cheeks flushed as he pulled you in for a hug. You went shock still from the surprise, but wrapped your arms around him in comfort.

"Happy birthday, Jack."

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #25: Happy Birthday

Masterlist

content: vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, captivity

so understanding part 2 will be coming next, i realized this needed to be first bc the events will be referenced in the next part, lol. this is a bit of a short one, my shortest chapter yet i think. next one will be far longer.

takes place about half a year into jim’s captivity, a couple months after his first escape attempt.

-

Jim hated it here.

Kane had gotten much more violent since his doomed escape attempt. It seemed like the vampire was getting more and more frustrated with him, that every other word out of his mouth was wrong. Jim had always been told he had no brain-to-mouth filter, and now it was biting him in the ass.

He hadn’t so much as seen another person besides Kane in months, and it was starting to drive him mad. He just wanted someone to talk to, someone who didn’t hurt him, who he didn’t have to be afraid of. But here he was, all alone. He might be all alone for the rest of his life.

And his birthday was tomorrow.

Jim hadn’t really done much for his birthday in a good few years, to be honest. Ever since his parents died, money had been tight, and he’d rather spend anything extra on Liz than on a party for himself. She was just a kid, after all. But he’d usually go to the arcade with some friends and then have dinner with Liz, and it was nice. Just being with people he loved. Liz would make a terrible cake that he’d pretend to enjoy, and even though the cake was bad, his smile was genuine.

But not this year. This year he was going to have his neck bitten, his blood drained, and then spend the entire night with the vampire holding him captive, without so much as a “happy birthday”. No seeing his friends or family. Maybe he’d even get roughed up if he was unlucky enough.

Yeah, not worth a “happy birthday” anyway. He wasn’t happy very often these days.

“Stop fucking glaring at me, human. Know your place.” Kane snapped, looking up from his book with a scowl.

“Huh?” Jim had ostensibly been re-watching one of Kane’s VHS tapes, but had zoned out to wallow in his own misery. He’d been glaring at Kane from the other end of the couch without even realizing it.

“What’s your problem? You’ve been acting strange all day.” Kane continued.

Jim was lucky. Kane wasn’t in a bad mood today. Another day, he’d have been hit for sure. Jim had been in fights before, but vampires hit hard.

“If you’ve gotta know, it’s my birthday tomorrow.” Jim answered.

“Oh. March third.” Kane didn’t sound angry or condescending, for once. He sounded... sad. After a pause, he added, “How old are you turning?”

“Twenty.” He’d been looking forward to it, before. Finally out of his teens. Nothing much to celebrate now.

“What do humans do for birthdays?” Kane asked.

Jim shrugged. “Cake. Presents. Spend time with loved ones. You know, all the things I can’t do trapped in here.”

Ah. Spoke without thinking again. Here it comes. Jim tensed up in anticipation.

But Kane didn’t approach. “I get you presents all the time.” he argued. “All your things are from me.”

“That’s not presents.” Jim was feeling bold. Kane had been chill so far today. “That’s just, like, what I need to survive.”

Like taking care of a pet.

Jim quickly discarded the thought. No, he wasn’t going there. “And some other stuff I ask for. It’s not a present if I write it on a shopping list.”

“Most humans don’t get to make any requests, you know.” Kane retorted. “Not that they have the state of mind to do it in the first place.”

Jim rolled his eyes. Kane loved to bring up the fact that Jim was unhypnotized. The worst part was that most of the time, it didn’t even seem like Kane was doing it as a things-could-be-worse argument like he was now. Most of the time, Kane seemed to be talking to himself about it, like Jim wasn’t worth the consideration, jealousy seeping through his words. As if it wasn’t enough to take Jim’s entire life away, Kane wished to take his very mind from him.

“I get it. Forget I fucking said anything.” Jim grumbled, seething.

Kane stood up, lightning fast, hand clenched into a fist. Jim flinched.

“Go to your room. Now.” Kane commanded.

He obeyed, slinking off to relative safety.

-

Jim woke up depressed.

Happy birthday to me, he thought, laying in his bed.

Usually, he’d get up and make breakfast for himself. He always felt extra dizzy if Kane fed from him before he’d had a chance to eat and drink. But he just didn’t feel like it. He wished he could just have a lazy day in without worrying about the consequences of blood loss, especially on his birthday.

Kane unlocked the door after what Jim would estimate as a good half-hour. He pulled the covers over his head and groaned.

“Come on. Up.” Kane ordered.

Jim was thankful that he didn’t sound angry about it. That was two nights in a row, now. But he wished Kane didn’t say it like he was talking to a fucking dog.

“Fine.” He threw his blanket off and knelt, tilting his head just like he knew he was supposed to. At least Kane had finally been getting the hang of feeding. It still hurt terribly having the same wound re-opened night after night, the flesh around the area always angry and red and purple, but it was a lot better than how it’d been when Kane was still learning.

First neck bite of my twenties, Jim thought bitterly as Kane fed. He sucked in a sharp gasp as Kane pulled his fangs out. It was still hard to get used to the feeling of it, even after months here.

“I’m just gonna stay in here today.” Jim said after Kane licked the wound closed.

“Oh. Okay. Just come out for a minute, I have something for you.” Kane said, motioning for him to follow.

Jim followed, swaying a little on his feet, only to be stunned when he was greeted by an entire chocolate cake waiting on the table in the living room. It looked fancy, like the kind you would buy from a really nice bakery.

“That’s for me?” he asked.

Kane raised an eyebrow. “I’m certainly not going to eat any of it.” Duh. “I got some new movies for you as well. They’re in the cabinet with the other VHS tapes.”

“HOLY SHIT, SERIOUSLY?” Jim exclaimed, forgetting entirely about the cake and rushing over to check out the new material. It was all stuff he’d never heard of. More vampire movies. He’d been re-watching the same few tapes Kane owned for months, and was ecstatic to get something new.

He grabbed one immediately. “Can we watch it now?”

“Sure.” Kane sat in his usual spot on the left end of the couch.

Jim quickly ran back to the human quarters to grab a plate, knife, and fork, his woes momentarily forgotten. After cutting himself a slice of cake, he popped the tape in and sat on the opposite end of the couch to munch away. His hands were shaking from the low blood sugar, so it was good that he was eating cake for breakfast, he figured.

“Happy birthday.” Kane said.

“...Thanks.” Jim didn’t want to thank him. He wouldn’t have been grateful for new VHS tapes at all if he wasn’t held captive in this stupid fancy house. But he couldn’t think of anything else to say. “When’s your birthday?” he asked, mildly curious.

Kane’s mood change was instant, his vaguely amicable demeanor turning icy. “Shut the fuck up. Don’t talk about my fucking birthday.” He had that sharp warning tone he always used before he’d get violent.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Jim conceded, tensing up. He didn’t even know what he’d said wrong.

“Whatever.” Kane mumbled.

Jim slowly relaxed as it became apparent Kane was over it. He wished he was home, spending his birthday with his friends and Liz.

But for the first time since Jim had been brought here, things were a little bit okay.

-

canon drabbles posted between #24 and #25:

Dog

Light & Laughter

Midday Snack

Greatest Wish (cw: death wish)

Five Minutes (cw: gore)

taglist:

@badluck990

@ceph-the-writing-spook

@cicatrix-energy

@crying-wings

@crystalquartzwhump

@cupcakes-and-pain

@cyberneticfire

@darlingwhump

@deluxewhump

@down-in-the-whumps

@elrysdoesstuff

@extemporary-whump

@extrabitterbrain

@harri-00

@inpainandsuffering

@interdimensional-chaos

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

@lactose-intolerant-egg

@lilac-and-lemon-whumps

@littlespacecastle

@little-whumpee

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@myhusbandsasemni

@mylifeisonthebookshelf

@neverthelass

@nicolepascaline

@nine-tailed-whump

@no-terms-and-conditions-apply

@octopus-reactivated

@oddsconvert

@onlybadendings

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@quietly-by-myself

@quirkykayleetam

@ramadiiiisme

@redwhump

@scp-1296

@secretwhumplair

@thecyrulik

@thegreatwhodini

@themarlo

@whump-cravings

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@whump-me-all-night-long

@whumpthisway

@whumpilicious

@whumpshaped

@whumpwillow

@whumpworld

@whumpy-writings

@whumpyzombie

@wits-and-wrongs

@wolfeyedwitch

[ares-the-strange]

Exciting Beginnings

Pairing: Poly!Lost Boys x Gn!Trans Masc! Reader

Warnings: None

-------------------------

Excitement clouded your chest, a smile permanently plastered on your face. A few happy stims left your lips as you shook yourself about. Finally you were going to be who you wanted to be, finally you could start to recognise the person in the mirror. Years ago you were THIS close to going on Testosterone, you were at the gender clinic, talking to a psychiatrist, with another appointment booked. You were over the moon when your mother said something that broke your heart. “I don’t think you’re mentally stable enough for this”. And with that it was taken away.

Tomorrow, tomorrow was the day you would go to the doctors and restart your quest to get back to where you were. As soon as you had gotten the appointment you felt giddy, and you didn’t think you’d be able to hide it from the boys if you tried. Not that you would, the boys were incredibly supportive of you and your gender, happily killing anyone who harassed you. 

Nighttime came as the sunset, the oranges and pinks cluing you in to the fact your boyfriends would soon be joining you. The waves crashed in the distance, yelling of surfers mixing with the ocean breeze. People started to crowd the boardwalk, attracted like moths to the flashy lights. The already wide grin broadened as you felt arms snake around you, a shirtless torso pressing against your back. “Hi little dove” Dwayne’s smooth voice spoke softly in your ear, pressing a kiss to your temple. Spinning on your heel you faced Dwayne, seeing the others standing next to him. 

“Something going on or you just super happy to see us, doll?” Paul asked, taking notice of your cheshire cat smile almost immediately. 

“Mm you keeping secrets?” David added, walking a little closer to you, placing his gloved fingers under your chin, lifting it up “does kitten want to clue us in?” 

“Ok ok! So-” another verbal stim as you clenched your fists “so you know how I’ve wanted to go on T for like forever?” The boys nodded, listening intently to my excited tone “I’ve got an appointment tomorrow to get back on track to get it!” Marko and Paul whooped and hollered, hugging you as they cheered and jumped up and down. Happily waiting until the pair’s energy died down, David and Dwayne stood with smiles on their faces. 

“We’re so happy for you babe!” Marko yelled, knowing how badly you had wanted this for multiple years now, and only now were you confident enough to do so despite your parents disapproval. Eventually the two blondes calmed down enough to let the two others join the celebration. 

“I’m so happy for you” Dwayne congratulated, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, his comforting smell enveloping you as David gave a soft smile

“We know how much this means to you kitten, I’m incredibly excited for you” This was one of the few times he spoke without the snarky quip in his words, genuinely happy for you to finally achieve this first step. The boys looked at you with love, the glow of your happiness giving them no choice but to join in with their own smile. 

“We should celebrate!” Marko cheered, Paul adding a shout of agreement. 

“Let’s go!” You agreed, impossibly happy that you were able to share this excitement and joy with the people you cherished most. A long forgotten sense of content blanketing the group of vampires, the person they cared for most was finally getting the happiness they deserve.

[theoptimisticdaydreamer]

If there was ever a drama that consistently reminded you that your tearducts still work, it is Tomorrow. Episode 5 was anguish and heartache wrapped in a bow.

Episode 5 really highlighted how Na Young is such a devastating loss to Woo Jin. She was his sun. She was his person. His childhood had been lonely and tragic. When I saw his father telling him that it was his fault his mother died, I wanted to reach into the computer and shove him out of the window. I would estimate that he was around six at least when his father’s funeral took place. That means he was around that terrible human being for six years as he whispered into Woo Jin’s ear that he was useless, everything was his fault and he shouldn’t be alive. I am so glad that he was able to feel the warm embrace of a family who genuinely loves him. The birthday celebration (that he never had before) and the smiling family photo made my heart sing. After what must have been a terrifying childhood, to be able to smile as you say mom, dad and sister and have a happy home to come home to must have been such a blessing. My heart broke for him as he lost his entire family in an instant. It broke even further as he blamed himself for the accident. I want the father to rot in hell for eternity for planting the idea in his head that the death of loved ones is his fault. Also, may Na Young’s parents also rot there with him. How dare you dismiss the career of the man your daughter loves?! How dare you care more about appearances then about what makes your daughter happy?! How dare you accuse the husband of killing your daughter when the truck driver was at fault?! 

The more you watch Na Young and Woo Jin’s lovestory the more tragically beautiful it becomes. They were so happy together. All of their happy memories together made me cry happy tears. Seeing Woo Jin smile so genuinely after getting a glimpse into his past made me so incredibly happy. It showed how Na Young really transformed his life and made him happy to live again because he had someone to go through life with. I love how she likens people to trees because your life can change depending on who you meet. I think that rings true not only for the audience but for the people that the Risk Management Team have helped so far. Their lives have been changed by the Risk Management Team and by those who they anchored onto to bring them back from the edge. I think what made their love for one another unwavering was the aftermath of the dinner with her parents. He closed in on himself, taking all of the father’s words to heart and pushed her away and literally out. However, when it rained (love this symbolic rain), he rushed outside with an umbrella worried about her. He thought she left but she didn’t go anywhere (which is symbolic of her unwavering love for him throughout their story). I was tearing up as she pleaded with him in the rain and when he caved and hugged her (implicitly saying that he wanted to be with her too regardless of everyone else) made me sigh in relief. Their hugs were also a thing of beauty throughout the episode. I love that it is Na Young who gives Woo Jin the plant that becomes meaningful later on in the story and it is Na Young who proposes to Woo Jin. It is probably one of the most beautiful simple yet meaningful proposals I have ever heard. Can I be the one to make the flowers on your tree bloom? I’ll water it really well and give it lots of sunlight. I am confident that I can help it grow and bloom beautiful flowers. I won’t waver. Woo Jin has received very little love and care throughout his life and Na Young is beautifully asking to care for him for the rest of her life. The melody that he plays as his answer and she just beams back made me love the two of them even more. The revelation that she loved him so much she swerved the car to protect him broke me. The depth of their love for one another is truly beautiful.  I wish I was seeing their love story in any other context. They deserve a happy ending and hopefully they will get one in their next life.

I am glad that they were able to reach him in time. The schematics of how exactly that worked did not make complete sense to me. I think it was because he was so close to dying that she was able to connect with him in the in between (that looked a lot like the Director’s garden) as opposed to before earlier in the episode. I am so happy that they were able to speak face to face because I don’t think they would have reached him any other way. That scene was the stand out scene for this entire episode and delivered on the feels. Them hugging each other tightly already had me sobbing. The way that they looked at each other.    When he told her that she should have never met him and that it was his fault and she tells him instead that all of the happiest moments in her life have him in it tugged on every single one of my heartstrings. I am so glad that she told him so to finally erase the hold those accusations had on him. Now, whenever they accuse him of anything, he will hear her voice in his head instead. Also, you won’t be alone. we will be waiting together. no matter how long I have to wait, I will only love you. Life fully for the both of us. MY HEART. And the way she put his wedding ring back on his finger! This entire scene is perfection. I think it is nigh impossible to watch this scene and not weep and melt at the same time. 

Her words did save him after all. I find it a little unrealistic that it went all the way down to 10% but maybe that is a testament to how much he loves her and the dedication he has to seeing her again when the time comes. The plant she gave him budding was just another sign that she is always with him which I thought was sweet. I think while she was the one who made the flowers on his tree bloom, I think she also gave him roots once she passed. She is the reason he is hanging on. 

The song. THE SONG WAS BEAUTY INCARNATE. The emotion in Woo Jin’s voice and the lyrics that he used. The melody that was the proposal acceptance melody. That he is also performing in the exact same location where they met again. Truly beautiful. That song is an absolute melancholic masterpiece. 

Na Young’s tree metaphor could also be applied to Ryeon and Joong Gil. The revelation this episode is that they were alive together. Not only were they alive but they were childhood sweethearts that were about to get married. They were in love. They were the people who helped the flowers on each other’s trees bloom. Joong Gil playfully putting pink rouge on her eyelids because he was curious and then telling her she looked pretty and that he loved her...her continuing to wear that pink eyeshadow because it was meaningful to her. That pink eyeshadow tied her to him. At the beginning of the episode, when Woo Jin was yelling at Ryeon accusing her of not knowing what it felt like, the pain he was feeling at the loss of his wife, the minute change in her facial expression gave me the feeling that she did know what it felt like. When she told him that people just say it must be difficult, it must hurt, it seemed like she was speaking from personal experience because those words were spoken to her. I think she lost her love too. Furthermore, in the modern time, Joong Gil implied that he chose to keep her by his side (and take her under his wing). This means that he became a Reaper before her. This means that he had to have died before her. Young Joong Gil mentioned that he was going to be stationed as a soldier on the border. So, I think he was killed in battle. I don’t think he died through taking his own life because if he did he would not have the perspective he does now. In the flashback, it looked like they were actually on their wedding parade because they were both dressed in formal wedding attire. This means they were MARRIED and that Ryeon lost her husband. Her HUSBAND. Once she lost her husband, the person she was so devoted to, her life became dangerous (as seen as flashes in previous episodes). What on earth happened to cause the entire town to throw rocks at her?! Whatever happened after drove her to walking through Hell with no regret or resentment. I also think that the red string on her wrist may be tied to him. 

This makes the story between Joong Gil and Ryeon similarly tragic to that of Woo Jin and Na Young. They were in love and married. Her husband was killed and she had to experience life without him. Then, in the afterlife she had to cope with the fact that her husband did not remember her which must have been heartbreaking (she possibly kept all of her memories because of the way she died). His point of view on s**cide must have felt like a dagger to the heart because he was unknowingly minimizing the pain she experienced once he was gone.  And then for him to treat her so coldly and at times violently... the agony. The centuries in which the person she loved so deeply became a completely different person. However, even a Joong Gil without memories felt the pull towards the woman he loved because he took her under his wing and kept her by his side. 

This is a tragic lovestory that has spanned centuries already. Now that I know this deep connection existed before; that they have been entwined together since the very beginning, what I want to see going forward has changed. Fundamentally, I need them to have closure. I need them to reconcile. I need more than a 5 second piece at the end of the last episode (cough Hotel del Luna cough). I need Joong Gil to realize just how important Ryeon is to him. I need him to remember how much he loved(loves) her. Not that Ryeon needs saving, but I need Joong Gil to be there when she needs him and aide her, especially if she is backed into a corner and it is looking helpless. I want to see him realize she is in danger and be so freaking worried and run to be there. I need them to have each other’s backs, in times of action and in the quiet times in between. I need them to talk it out. I need him to apologize for treating her like shit. I need him to FINALLY UNDERSTAND HER PERSPECTIVE. I need those subtle tender moments between them back. Those little gestures that conveyed how much they cared. Those moments that spoke more than words. I want these all with plenty of episodes to spare. We have seen them as rivals and frosty colleagues for long enough. Bring me forward development with this relationship. Please. At the very least, I need the pain she has been carrying by herself for centuries to feel lighter. 

People who are destined to be with each other are connected by a red thread beyond their souls. They will find each other no matter how many times they are reborn. Ryeon has one end of the thread and I have a hunch that Joong Gil had the other end while they were alive. However, in the present day, the red thread is only wrapped around her wrist. The only way you can break the thread is by s**cide. The more time passes, the more I think that this is how Ryeon passed away. Once you break the thread, I assume you will no longer be able to find the other person no matter how many times you are reborn. Which means, the time in Jumadeung is the last time Joong Gil and Ryeon will spend together. Please let them reconcile. Is there a way to repair the red thread? Reconnect it? Can we invent one? Its not only sad for the person who is left behind but also for the one who has to leave. I want each of them to know how hard it was for the other to leave them behind. That Grim Reaper’s Agreement cannot be changed by the Director so maybe his wish ultimately is that she always stays by his side and that they meet in every life time (thereby pseudo repairing the red thread). I will manifest this into existence. Every single one of them deserves a happy ending.

Ryeon continues to be a source of admiration as the series passes. The extent that she is willing to go to save just one person’s soul shows just how much she cares. She even pushed herself beyond her limits by using her powers despite having the punishment ring on. I have a feeling that because the subject matter was so personal to her, she was willing to put herself on the line so much. It is inevitable that the subject matter becomes personal to different members of the team at different points. I believe you must love and care for those who are around you as someone who has a tomorrow to live. Once again, a powerful message that many can relate to. 

You also saw snippets of the team growing closer this episode which I appreciated. Seeing Ryung Gu in action was very enjoyable and touching was the fact that he did that to give them time (which for some reason they did not use to find Woo Jin directly which was the entire point). Jun Woong runs to Ryung Gu after he is thrown against the wall in concern. They are all concerned about Ryeon after she enters into the contract with Joong Gil (which I pray he does not exploit and use against her). She protects the soul of Na Young partly out of persuasion from Jun Woong. Ryung Gu is lightly concerned when he sees Jun Woong crying at Na Young’s departure. I can’t wait to continue to see them grow closer. 

The conversation between Joong Gil and the Director was much needed. I am glad that she told him to think about how they must be feeling to choose death because no one said those few words to them. I guarantee you that there isn’t anyone anywhere who chooses death easily. What drives people to that choice cannot be solved with a few words and often they feel isolated and alone. They are also sad to leave. Its such an important message and I am appreciative that they took it seriously. It also looks like it made Joong Gil think and reassess which I am very grateful for. The conversation with the Director also revealed that he didn’t need to be where the Risk Management team was. Mr. Play-By-The-Rules did not follow his own rules because he was curious. I think this curiosity mixed with the Director’s wise words will have him popping up more and more with more understanding of the souls the Risk Management team are trying to save and I am here for it. Please please please start to work together. PLEASE. 

How dare Woo Jin’s song be played again in the epilogue in full rendering me in tears completely. The video diary of their love just once again illustrated how much they loved one another and how much he treasured her. I demand to see their reincarnated happily every after. 

The next episode looks like it will be very personal to Ryeon again. This time it deals with regrets you carry for a lifetime (which again is very relatable). My heart aches for Jun Woong as he becomes attached to every single person they try to help. You can hear Joong Gil’s voice at the end of the trailer and it isn’t as harsh as it was previously so I am wondering if he will become softer going forward (even if it is marginally). I hope he isn’t actively working against them. Maybe he can be soft enough to offer words of support or even a shoulder as Jun Woong gets emotionally wrecked once again (with the rest of us).  

[enchantestuff]

miscommunication - charles leclerc

in which your Pierres little sister and reap the consequences after an eventful night in Monaco with his best friend

I think I'm going to make this into a series, like 3 more parts maybe??

part two

GIF NOT MINE!!!

warnings: smut, my failed attempt at angst (I tried), language, em yeah

3k words (I have no idea how that happened) 

You had known Charles for years, which wasn't particularly surprising considering you were Pierres little sister.

When you were little you envied their friendship, constantly trying to insert yourself in their games and conversations. You had lost count of the amount of times they slammed a door in your face, demanding you to leave them alone. You hadn’t realised how annoying you were being as you followed them around everywhere, even if Pierre had scolded you for it each day.

When you were a teenager, Pierre purposely kept Charles away from you, telling him that if he even looked in your direction he wouldn't hesitate to end their friendship. You, of course, had no idea of the threat not that it mattered as you didn't paid any attention to the infamous duo during those few years, living in your own little world full of clothes , friends and different boys.

Now, however, you were an adult and all you wanted to do was support your brother throughout his career. In recent years you had gone to as many races as you physically could, but of course you had your own job and unfortunately didn’t have the time to attend any race this season.

Pierre was disappointed, he loved having you there to support him, but he understood that you had your own life and never placed any blame on you. After years of the two of you constantly ignoring each other and bickering, you had finally begun to act like siblings and all he wanted to do was make up for lost time.

You had thankfully gotten three weeks off work - well they weren’t necessarily weeks off as you still had to do your job, but your boss insisted that there was no need for you to trek to the office everyday when you were perfectly capable of doing the work at home on your laptop. The timing couldn't have been better with the triple header just around the corner, it almost seemed like a miracle and you were gonna enjoy every minute of it.

You grinned as you texted your brother.

Any spare tickets to the race :)

He replied almost immediately.

You're kidding, which one?

All of them?

Your texting was cut off by Pierres contact photo appearing on your phone. You answered instantly only to hear Pierre screaming through your speakers, he also slipped in a few delighted curse words before finally letting you talk.

“My boss gave me the next three weeks off so I’m going to go support my favourite brother” you grinned.

“Your only brother” he remarked and you could practically hear him rolling his eyes.

You spent the next few hours catching up and retelling pointless stories. You had gone to sleep with a lazy smile on your face and  woke up the next morning to a text from Pierre, telling you that he had organized your passes for the three weekends as well as the flights, all you had to do was find a hotel. He slipped in the name of the hotel that he was staying at, and to your luck there was still room available. Now all that was left to do was wait.

You grinned giddy as you stepped off the plane and walked toward the baggage collection area, excited to finally get back to watching races in person. You rubbed your eyes in surprise when you spotted your brother waiting for you. “Pierre?” you screamed delightly, running up to him and pushing his body into a bone crushing hug. It felt like you hadn’t seen him in forever even if it was only a few months.

“Bonjour,” he laughed as he hugged you back.

“I thought you were busy all day today” you exclaimed once you pulled away from him.

He sheepishly shrugged at you with a lazy grin on his face. “I may have lied, are you ready to go?”

You nodded your head at him and for the first time in a long time your mind drifted towards your brother's best friend, Charles, who you hadn’t spoken to since an eventful night in Monaco a few months ago.

You cursed yourself as you thought back to that very moment.

Charles was having a party at his lovely home, you can't remember now what you were celebrating but everyone was ecstatic. You could hear the music from across the street and you knew before you even entered the house that it was going to be a night to remember.

The moment you stepped foot inside you were surrounded by multiple drunk people, all with large grins and hooded eyes plastered on them and you laughed as almost everyone stumbled around the house.

You spotted your brother in the middle of the room dancing with a pretty blonde, he had a goofy smile on his face and you knew from that sight of him alone that he was wasted. You were the only sober person there, at least that's what you thought until Charles had made his way to you with two cups in his hand, alcohol for you and water for him.

“I thought you were celebrating,” you mused as you took a sip of the dark liquor.

“Someone needs to keep these drunk idiots in check,” he joked.

“Well in that case” you said as you handed your drink to a stranger and took a sip of his water instead. You laughed at the bewildered look he threw your way before continuing, “I'm not going to let you tackle this party alone.” The smile that formed on Charles was genuine and your breath hitched in your throat at the sight.

You surprisingly enjoyed yourself the whole night, maybe that was because you knew everyone there, but most likely it was because you spent the whole night with Charles.

A few hours into the party he turned to you asking to dance, you didn't even hesitate to say yes, nerves surrounded you immediately and they only got worse when his hands dipped dangerously low on your hips. Your eyes automatically searched for Pierre and you left out a sigh of relief when you couldn't find him anywhere.

The thought of getting caught fueled both you and Charles, so when he spun you around to face him neither of you hesitated to connect your lips. You considered yourself lucky that everyone around you was too drunk to notice your heated make out and used it to your advantage. You pulled him even closer to you, moaning in his ear when he grabbed your bum and giggling at the whimper he let out.

You felt dizzy. The fact that you were both sober made your first kiss even more real.

You were anxious when he asked you if you wanted to go somewhere more private but agreed nevertheless, hoping that maybe he had wanted you for as long as you had wanted him.

He had tenderly kissed you again once he closed the door behind him.

“God, you have no idea how long i've waited to do this,” he moaned in your ear and although you knew that was just something people said in the heat of the moment, you let yourself believe it. You let yourself believe every single word that left his lips and got even more attached to the moment.

You revealed a piece of yourself to him that night, not only a physical part, but a part of your heart as you admitted your deepest secrets to him. “Fuck, Charles, I’ve always wanted you,” you moaned when he gently placed you on the bed.

You attached yourself to the kisses he placed all over your body, you paid attention to every bit of affection that he showed you, never once wanting him to stop. When he positioned himself next to you and asked if you were sure you told him there was nothing you've ever been more sure about.

You had both simultaneously moaned when he entered you, laughing at each other afterwards, which made your heart flutter. He was Charles, your brothers best friend and yet sex with him felt so natural.

He placed a tender kiss to your chest before he started moving and you couldn't help but hold him close to you, he didn't seem to mind however as he nested his head in the crook of your neck, letting you hear all the soft gasps and grunts that left his mouth.

You arched your back in pleasure when he reached the deepest parts inside you, your toes curled and your eyes rolled back and all you could think was God why didn't we do this sooner?

“Don't stop, please Charles, don't stop” you moaned in his ear, and if you weren't in a completely different world you would have noticed the shiver than ran down his entire body at your words.

“Trust me, mon amour, i never want to stop”

You weren't even aware of the moans the left your lips until Charles had grabbed your chin and looked at you with desperation written all over his face, “Merde, Y/N, i want more than anything to make this moment last but If you keep making those pretty little sounds you're gonna make me cum”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words “Shut me up then”

And he did, he grunted as he reconnected your lips, swallowing your moans and letting out his own in the process. From the kissing, to Charles’ moans and the rolling of his hips it didn't take you long to release the knot in your stomach.

You regretted it now, thinking back on it, it had completely ruined your friendship with Charles. Your daily silly texts to each other had ceased to exist, your weekly facetime calls had died and a piece of you had broken.

You didn’t expect any less, he was your brother's best friend and even though you always found him insanely attractive, you knew deep down he would have found your little crush on him weird. You always had the suspicion that he saw you as a little sister, and the way he completely ignored you after your hookup had proven them to be true.

You couldn't hate him, or even place the blame of your failed friendship on him as you also went out of your way to ignore him, something that you really regretted but couldn’t change.

“You alright?” Pierre asked as he grabbed your suitcase in his hand.

“Yeah sorry i - i don't know what happened to me there,” you choked out, walking alongside Pierre to his car.

“It's free practice tomorrow, you coming?” he asked once you were both sitting comfortably in his car.

“Yeah, of course” you nodded as you watched the tall buildings pass by in the window.

“Everyones misses you, you know?” he quickly glanced over at you while he drove, wondering what the hell you were thinking so hard about.

“Yep” you sighed, “Me too,” but all you could think about was the Ferrari driver and how awkward it would be to see him again

You had shut yourself in your hotel room for the rest of the night, the flight and overly long check in had taken all the remaining energy out of you and all you wanted to do was curl into the hotel bed and sleep for as long as you possibly could. So that's what you did, until Pierre rang your phone, telling you that he was leaving for free practice in half an hour, wondering if you needed lift, which of course you did you had mumbled to him while scrabbling out of the bed and running to your bathroom to take the quickest shower of your life.

You had somehow gotten ready in time and before you knew it you were walking around the paddock with Pierre next to you, basking in the glorious sun.

Pierre whistled in excitement when he spotted Charles walking out of the Ferrari motorhome. The brunette quickly turned at the sound, a smile forming on his face when he spotted Pierre, his eyebrows raising soon after as he finally noticed you next to him. Your heart beat loudly in your chest as he got closer and closer to you.

You stood firmly in your spot, uncertain if a hug would be too big of an action after months of silence between you both, quite frankly you didn’t even want to touch him, the pain that he had caused you cutting too deep. Unfortunately, he beamed at you and grabbed your hips, pulling you into his chest and rocking you both side to side.

“Hi,” you laughed, unwilling to cause a scene in front of your brother, you moved your arms to wrap around his neck.

“It's great to see you” he admitted when he pulled away and you felt your throat close up at his words. “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too,” you smiled and although it wasn’t a lie, the words felt dirty leaving your lips. You shouldnt have missed him, not when he left you lying alone in his bed after you both had sex.

“God, you're acting like you haven't spoken to each other in months,” Pierre laughed, and you and Charles shared an awkward look with each other. The silence that followed was unbearable.

You cleared your throat as you looked around the paddock. “I'm going to get some water” you quickly spilled out and abruptly turned in the other direction, ignoring the confused look that Pierre shot in your direction. You had only taken a few steps when Charles grabbed your arm and pulled you behind a random building.

“Shh it's me” he flinched as you pushed yourself away from him, “it's me” he repeated looking at the bewildered expression on your face.

“You couldn’t have just talked to me like a normal human being?” you argued, “Did you really have to drag me behind a building?”

“I couldn't talk about you know what around you know who” he threw back and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh! You dont want to talk about us having sex infronf of Pierre” you snapped and he covered your mouth with his hand. You bit his hand and he gasped in response.

“You bit me!” he half shouted.

“You didn’t seem to mind last time” you commented , relishing in how flustered Charles had gotten.

“We need to talk about that” he choked out, looking absolutely anywhere except your eyes.

“Oh so now you want to talk about it?” you asked with an accusing tone to your voice, surpringing not only Charles but also yourself.

“I know it was a dick move, I just” he sighed “I didn’t know how to bring it up”

“How about maybe not leaving straight away? How about sending me a text explaining how you felt instead of leaving me in the dark for months? If you thought it was a mistake you could have just-”

“I didn't think it was a mistake”

You couldn't help the effect those words had on your heart, but suddenly you were even more furious, he was unintentionally playing with your heart and you didn't know how much more of it you could take.

“Then why didn't you tell me!”

You were frustrated and he wasn’t helping one bit. He had left it too late, the damage was done, you had spent months regretting your decision to climb into bed with him and a few words lazily strung together to form a sentence wasn't going to erase the emotional damage he caused you. It didn't matter anymore whether it was intentional or not

“I didn't want to ruin our friendship”

“That is the dumbest excuse I've ever heard!”

You could feel tears pricking your eyes and all you wanted to do was sob your heart out, but you refused to cry in front of him, you didn't want him to know the effect he had on you. “Look your late and i - i need to breathe”

You didn't give him a chance to reply as you ran away, unable to face the boy who broke your heart: the boy who had given you everything you could possibly want, only to snatch it out of your grasp.

You cursed yourself for getting attached to that moment because now, every time you closed your eyes, all you see was him panting on top of you and all you could feel was his lips on your skin. It was a memory that used to delight you but now all it brought was sadness and pain.

You knew your attachment issues would bring you pain one day, but only now as you crouched down next to some random building, did you realise it would be physical pain. You clawed at your neck in desperation. You couldn't breathe. Your tears were practically suffocating you and you couldn't help but think Charles' hands ripping your heart from your chest was the cause.

Unknowingly to you, Charles watched your retreating figure with tears forming behind his eyes. It had finally hit him how much he fucked things up. He thought he was doing the right thing, he thought maybe you needed space, maybe you would have regretted it.

He wore his heart on his sleeve that day, everything that he told you was true, he was just so scared. So scared that he would be left heartbroken, that his feelings were unrequited, that maybe, just maybe, you would be disgusted with yourself for what you two did.

He left early the next morning to hype himself up, to finally tell you about his feelings for you that had been bubbling around in his stomach for years, but when he returned to his bedroom you were gone.

He didn't realise how much waking up to an empty bed would affect you, just as much as you didnt realise how much leaving would affect him.

He was never good at communication, but it was so easy with you, so why didn't he pick up the phone? He had no excuse except that he was scared.

It was his fear that hurt him the most. It was his fear that broke your heart and that had hurt him so much more than he thought was possible.

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Motorcycle

An off hand comment from Neil ended up with him getting a motorcycle from all the foxes as his birthday present on March 31

Neil was shocked as always, he could never get use to celebrating his birthday much less receiving a present this big

“Try it Neil,” Matt said excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet

Neil’s expression blanked for just a second, all the foxes missed it except for Andrew

“Tomorrow, I’m tired,” Neil smiled, the smile is genuine but tense

Nicky and Allison protested but renee ushered them and soon they all left the birthday boy alone

All of them went back into the girl’s room to tidy up after their so called party which was just ordering Neil’s favourite food and putting on some movie as background noise

Neil left a few moments later, thanking his friends for the night and gift before going up onto the roof. Andrew wasn’t far behind

Neil lit up a cigarette and passed one to Andrew, before lighting another one for himself. He inhaled deeply, as if to ingrained the smell of the smoke into his memory, as if he could ever forget the smell of his mother’s burning body

They sat in silence for a long time, the fox tower eventually quieted down as athletes retired for the night

“My mother taught me how to ride a motorcycle before she taught me how to drive a car” Neil said, Andrew didn’t react except turning his stare on neil’s silhouette

“A motorcycle is faster and easier to disappear, being able to drive through crooks and nannies and alleyways”

“Of course driving a car is safer but a motorcycle is sometimes easier to find and weave through traffics”

“I haven’t been on one since she died” Neil said quietly, lost in his memories

Andrew got up and Neil barely noticed until Andrew said, “I’ve never been on one before”

Neil looked at Andrew’s disappearing silhouette and followed him wordlessly

Neil found Andrew beside the motorcycle and Andrew handed him the key

Neil stared at the key in his hand

“It’s just a key” Andrew said

Neil shot him a fleeting smile

“You know it’s not”

Andrew gestured impatiently for Neil to get on

Neil finally got on and Andrew got on behind him, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist

“You can hold on tighter”

Andrew squeezed his waist in retaliation

Neil let out a small laugh, then he put the key into the ignition and they sailed into the night

They started off slow, as Neil was out of practice, until Andrew was grumping for Neil to speed up or he could just be walking besides him

Neil sped up, and then it was like flying but without the height. Neil’s curls hitting Andrew’s face but all andrew could feel is the rush of the wind and the weightless feeling, with only Neil tethering him

Neil almost got lost in his memories of his mother and the run and chase. But Andrew’s tight arms around him was a grounding weight that kept him in the present

They hit a highway, driving to nowhere, the dead silence of the night broke by the motorcycle and Neil’s laughter. Neil had forgotten the joy of riding a motorcycle. It could never compete with a car even with the windows down. Riding a motorcycle is soaring on the road with no restrictions, it is running and running from his father’s men who is try-

Andrew squeezed his waist again and all Neil could feel is Andrew’s body heat, enveloping him. Even with the wind rushing he could always smell Andrew’s cologne and cigarettes

They drove on and on, after who knows how long they finally went back to the fox tower

Andrew got off, shaking his legs and lighting another cigarette. Neil took in his wind swept hair, the moon shining on his pale hair giving it a ghostly light, the smoke curling-

“Staring”

“Thank you” Neil smiled, he held his hand out to Andrew, who stared at him for a moment before signing and gave his hand to Neil who laced their fingers together

The next day, Neil drove Matt, Nicky, Dan, and Allison on his new motorcycle and they gushed about how cool it was and that “Kevin and renee must try too” and “if my future boyfriend don’t have a motorcycle then I’m breaking up”

Renee got on once Neil said it was okay and a very reluctant Kevin tried too

Since then whenever Neil had the itch to run or when the past was too close, Neil would ride his motorcycle with Andrew grounding him and reminding him that he wasn’t alone anymore

Or just whenever they felt like tearing through the night with the wind hitting them and needed to be reminded of the freedom they fought so hard for

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain, Blurb 3

Technically the third in a blurb-ish series (though this is kinda long for a blurb lol) but can technically be read as a stand alone, but i think the other parts make this seem more significant lol

A/n kinda angsty, not sure if i loveeee this but i haven’t posted a fic in such a long time bc of graduation chaos but now it’s summer and i’m working on a lot of requests/stories :))

Summary: jealousy is out of place when there’s no real warrant for it, and sometimes it’s okay to be content--to not need the rain to make you promises. 

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y! reader

--

Tiredness dulls the part of me that craves the rambunctious, but I’m still positive. I smile when someone does something only the truly inebriated find comical. I laugh when something somewhat actually funny happens, and I let the world around me drink. Twenty minutes--in twenty minutes I will claim a headache and go upstairs. 

“You okay, y/n?” Jesper’s concern would border on genuinely considerate if it wasn’t for the slightest hint of slur in his words. Nights in which he consols himself after losing game after game are when he’s the friendliest. “You’re strangely quiet--you’re never quiet.” 

I press my lips together oddly, smiling in a way that finally reaches my eyes. Jesper’s nice in an oddly particular way when he’s tipsy. Overly observant and careful. “Just a little tired,” I shift in my seat, leaning back against the plush seat in Kaz’s office, “I wish Kaz would just get here and dismiss us so I can go to bed.” 

Jesper smiles, lifting his arm slightly and causing his glass to sway. Kaz is not going to take it well when he realizes that Jesper was extremely involved in the downstairs celebration. He turns ungracefully, moving to sit next to me with no warning. I half-heartedly glare as he takes up most of the small couch. 

“You’re grumpy when you’re tired,” Jesper hums, stretching his casually. 

I sigh once, but it lacks any bite. “I do not.” 

He smiles easily, tilting his head so far to the side that it falls against the back of the seat, “No...but I know the real reason you’re grumpy.” 

Rolling my eyes, I suppress my instinctual reaction. That would only expose his words as true. “I am not grumpy, there is no reason--” 

“You know he hated it.” 

I exhale, tired and slowly losing my fragine hold on fake tranquility. “Yeah.” That should make it  better. “I know.” It doesn’t--it doesn’t make anything better. 

So the contact we so desperately needed on our side took to flirting with Kaz. It was an uncomfortable situation because of its precariousness and I was worried because I know about his issues with touch. But it’s not like I care about the flirting part. No. It was unprofessional and so easily turned messy--that’s what my problem was.

Jesper sighs, stretching even more. I let him stretch his legs over me, too tired to push him off. I sigh, setting my chin on his bent knees. “What’s with the face, l/n?” 

I roll my eyes again. Sometimes having someone care about you is annoying. I take back all of my positive thoughts about him--Jesper Fahey is an annoying drunk. 

“There’s no face,” despite my words, I feel my expression sour even further. Jesper’s expression shifts from that of gentle worry to teasing pride. “And if there was one, it wouldn’t be because of Kaz Brekker.”

Jesper’s lips twitch upwards, something strange tainting his tipsy grin. “I never said a name.” 

“One more condescending comment, and I’m shoving you off this damn couch.” 

He laughs flatly, shifting closer and making himself more comfortable. Drunk and touchy--anyone else would have been slapped by now. “You’re nicer after some of this.” 

He holds his glass out towards me casually, amber liquid sloshing slightly. I blink at the liquid with slight disinterest. I’m not exactly in the drinking mood...but I’m not exactly in the mood for any of this. The sound of the door opening doesn’t phase me--it’s not Inej, because she never lets herself be heard. Kaz doesn’t say anything, taking one dull step and then another, footsteps leaching the room of any warmth. The coldness he exudes so easily as a mask is strong tonight, I haven’t even looked at him and I can feel it. 

Maybe I do need a drink. 

I take the glass from Jesper, taking a quick and shallow sip of the liquid. It’s offensive in smell, taste, and the way it spills down my throat. The taste is much more intense than expected, some of the liquid slips past the corner of my mouth. Somehow more bitter than this moment, the liquid leaves me ready to splutter like a child. I exhale, pushing through the burning. Jesper moves his hand forward absentmindedly, wiping a single drop of liquid from my chin carelessly. The gesture would be sweet if my throat burned less. 

“Jesper,” the warmth of the alcohol takes root in my chest, “That’s--” He laughs at my reaction, coaxing a smile from me. “Like literally the worst--why do you even have this?” If this is served in the Crow Club, I’ve never heard of it, this is the kind of under the counter alcohol that isn’t mass produced. 

He laughs a little more freely. “Won it off of someone passing through--I don’t always lose.” 

I wrinkle my nose, “An outlier shouldn’t be--” 

“Oh, shut up.” Jesper laughs again. 

“Both of you ‘shut up’,” Kaz sighs, stepping further into the room, “If you need to drink, at least wait until after my meeting.” I frown, ignoring Kaz’s lingering and sharp gaze, “You should all follow Inej’s example.” 

“We can’t even see Inej.” 

Kaz raises an eyebrow, but he regards me with nothing but voidness. He’s never exactly emotive, but normally in moments like this something I can never interpret touches his expression, coloring it human. “Exactly.” 

“You’re funnier than people give you credit for.” The comment isn’t exactly sarcastic, but it’s something lighter than I should be offering. It’s an attempt at peace, the slight stiffness between us is starting to bother me. Our usual dynamic isn’t exactly friendly, but it’s more than this. Kaz glares. “But not tonight.” 

His expression hardens. “Business is business. It’s not humor, it’s not whatever you try to make it.” Right. Just like it was business when that girl spent more time hitting on him than actually revealing real information. The thought leaves my expression tight as I swallow back my instinctual words. “It’s not whatever you’re currently doing.” 

It takes me longer than it should to realize he’s referring to the position Jesper and I are in. Can he relax? It’s not my fault Jesper is tipsy and touchy. 

“Kaz,” Inej’s voice is soft yet determined as she emerges from the shadows. It’s a miracle the way she’s nothing more than a shadow until she chooses not to be. “What’s our next job?” 

Prompting Kaz in order to prevent a fight--Inej, always the closest thing to a mom available. I give her a partial smile, glad that she’s wedging herself between us and the tension, preventing conflict I’m too tired to follow through on.

“A merchant’s house,” he begins slowly, “We’ll be searching a merchant’s house but I’m seeking evidence more than property.” Jesper swings his legs off the couch with no warning. My head falls. I glare at Jesper who offers me a slightly apologetic tsk before dropping his head on my shoulder. Kaz must note the exchange because something in his expression tightens. He’s extra irritable today. “I’ll disclose more tomorrow,” he sighs once, already turning away, “Most of you are beyond listening tonight anyways.” 

He’s at the door before I can tell him that I’m not drunk. The door opens and closes, but Kaz’s heaviness lingers like led. I frown, letting my head fall to the side, resting on Jesper’s.

“He’s weird today,” I mumble, unsure if I want a reply. 

“He’s always like that,” Jesper breathes, “You’re losing your novelty, y/n--he always learns to harden himself against anything bright.” 

The words leave me even more tired. “I don’t think I’m particularly bright.” 

“Kaz does,” Inej replies, “And it has nothing to do with ‘novelty’, Jesper’s just cynical when he drinks.” I don’t know if I believe her, but I like knowing that Inej thinks that. “And Kaz can’t harden himself against you, and he hates that.” 

I press my lips together, straightening my spine. “I’m not that great, and whatever Kaz does or doesn’t harden himself against doesn’t affect me at all.” My nails press into the plush seat. “I don’t even know why we’re talking about this because whatever he does or doesn’t feel doesn’t matter to me.” I force myself up, doing all I can to seem perfectly calm. “All I care about is going to bed.”

Turning my head, I start to approach the door. Kaz has been strangely cold all night, and while I’m used to his moods, he hasn’t exactly directed them at me so fully since the day he caught me waiting for him to wake up after he almost died. If he wants to go back to how it used to be, then it can. Maybe I’ll care in the morning, when the growing weight of my eyelids is no longer a distraction.

“Sometimes the two of you confuse me,” Inej begins, “And sometimes I see you try to deal with emotion and I see the common ground.” 

The words leave me cold. I don’t think being compared to Kaz is an insult, not when there’s so much it could mean. He’s much more complex than he wants to be. There is goodness within him, gilding the parts of him that are more shards than anything else.  

I exhale, refusing to turn. Inej is too observant for her own good. “There is no emotion.” 

“I’m not going to waste my time arguing over that because I know it’s a waste of time.” She pauses and I consider turning around in hopes of reading something less honest from her expression. “I’m just telling you as a friend that one of you needs to be mature and talk to the other tonight before the tension gets worse and that it’s not going to be him.” 

She’s right. I exhale, “Do you think I should let him go?” Even just saying that leaves my heart aching. I know instantly that that’s not what I want, but it might be what he wants--it might be the best option. I might have the strength to let him go if I work at it. “I don’t--that’s not what I want and I’m not sure I could, but maybe that’s selfish of me.” 

“Y/n.” I turn slowly, but I purposefully avoid her gaze, keeping my head down. “I know that I’ve known Kaz longer than you, and I know that when he’s getting along with you he’s,” she trails off, uncertain, “More him, in a good way.” 

My heart swells, and with that comes feelings of panic. I never wanted to change him--to make him better or worse or anything; all I’ve ever wanted is to know him and to maybe help him with his burden. And to hear that maybe I’ve done that from someone so close to him--someone so observant and aware. That’s everything. And that terrifies me. Nothing good can last; nothing that seems to be all you could ever want actually is. I know that from life before the Crows, before I ran away from the castle I called home.

“I think he does the same for you.” I’ve never really thought about Kaz’s effect on me outside of the fact that he makes me feel warm in small moments and painfully seen in large ones. 

I smile because she’s trying and she’s given me something. “I’d say I’d tell you when I make my decision, but something tells me you’ll know.” 

She nods, expression shifting to something kind. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

Jesper stretches out on the couch, settling himself comfortably, “Night, y/n.”

“Goodnight, guys.” I disappear past the door easily, heading towards my room.

I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to look for Kaz tonight. How much damage could be done in one night? Maybe he needs space. Maybe seeking him out now will make things worse. I exhale, opening the door to my room easily. I’ll decide before going to sleep.

When I step into the room, everything is in place. Everything is fine--but something about it feels off. The light is on. I didn’t leave the light on. Nothing else raises any red flags, so I continue into the room calmly, examining everything carefully. Nothing feels out of place as I further enter the room. I take in my bed, my dresser, and lastly my nightstand. 

My heart swells all over again, but this time it feels even heavier than before. On the center of my nightstand, in perfect condition, is a copy of Pride and Prejudice. The same book I told Kaz about, the one thing besides clothing I took from the palace. I told him it was my mother’s favorite and then he asked me to read it to him. 

I can’t picture him seeing this and thinking of me. I can’t picture him thinking of me--but no one else knew about my attachment to the book. I need to find him. I need to--to see him, to speak to him. To look him in the eye and see something I only ever see when we’re alone. Maybe he won’t have that look this time, but that’s okay. 

I can’t expect to always understand him, but that does not mean I don’t know him. 

The thought leaves me feeling a little more settled within the boundaries of my skin, but I don’t ease entirely. The good is more frightening than the bad. My fear of happiness is a benign secret I haven’t had to worry about in years. I don’t know enough about it to know how to deal with it let alone mention it to Kaz. Not that it’s his problem. 

I squeeze the book to my stomach. Swallowing pride is a difficult thing, but I’m used to it with him. It’s usually worth it with Kaz because sometimes when I try he tries in his own way. I should find him. He’s not awfully creative about where he goes when he wants to be alone because people know better than to bother him. Kaz is probably in his attic or getting air outside or…

The lights were on when I came in. I’m an idiot. I didn’t feel weird when I walked into the room because of the book. Someone’s in here. He’s in here. 

Setting the book down like I should have never touched it, I let out a sigh. “Lurking is unbecoming.” 

“It’s also unbecoming to work for me and be so easily distracted by a book.” His voice reveals nothing as he emerges from the shadows. “I could have killed you with how long it took for you to notice my presence.” He pauses, eyebrows drawing together. “The light was on.” 

Normally I’d have some kind of comment, some kind of joke that offers a more peaceful situation. “I know.” It’s a flat response. “I think on some subconscious level I knew,” I drop my gaze away from him, “I knew I was okay.” That sounds dumb. “I mean...I think I knew it was you so I knew I was okay.” Yeah, that wasn’t anymore eloquent. “That doesn’t make sense, but if you get to be confusing, I do too.”

“Confusing? There’s nothing to understand.” Curt. Simple. Dismissive. 

I frown. ‘Nothing to understand’. Right, because there’s nothing confusing about how quickly he decided to dismiss me just to bring me some obscenely sentimental gift. “If you’re mad at me, you should at least tell me why.” I press my lips together. “At least that way I’ll know if I need to apologize or kick your ass.” 

At that, he presses his lips together, corner of his mouth threatening to tilt upwards. “You would kick my ass?”

Great, even when he’s easing he has to be annoying. “I could.” There is no universe in which I could take him in a physical fight. “On a good day.” I let out a breath, doing all I can to not focus on his expression. Awkwardness settles in my chest as my eyes land on my bed. I sit down, trying not to let my shoulders slump tiredly as I stretch my legs across my bed. “You’re not having a good day.” 

“My day is fine, I’m just not naively cheerful like you,” his words turn sharp, “Or Jesper.” 

Weird addition. “Jesper’s not cheerful, he’s just drunk.” I let go of the ‘naive’ part, deciding to focus on the bigger picture. “And I’m not as naive or joyful as you think I am.” I’m not sure if I mean that as a rebuttal or just a fact. “I have bad days too.” This isn’t the kind of conversation I should have while this tired. “I could be less cheerful if you’d like.” 

He’s so silent I momentarily wonder if he’s left. “No.” It’s not much, but I take it. Straightening my back, I pull my legs beneath me, intentionally creating space. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Ah, blatant rejection. It would sting if I was less in the right. “Maybe you’ll be less weird then.” 

“I am not being weird.” At least I’m getting some kind of reaction from him. “You’re the one who--” 

“Who what?” Finally--progress. 

Kaz sighs, turning slightly. “You’re the one who decided to ignore me after we met with the contact.” I part my lips, ready to retort, but no words come. He did pick up on my slight annoyance, and he reciprocated it in a much larger way. 

He can never know that this all came from some ridiculous, territorial--partial jealousy. “I didn’t mean to ignore you,” partial lie, “I’m just kind of in a weird place today, I’m tired.” 

“Not too tired for Jesper, it seems.” 

What? Is that what this is about? “What? All I did was sit there--he’s a touchy drunk and I just happened to be next to him.” 

“You laugh with him,” he says this blankly, “You can touch him.” 

The edge of unsafe territory cuts into me at an odd angle. Is this about him? Is he really tormenting himself over something so asinine to me when it comes to him? I’d rather have him than all the physical touch in the world. The book on the nightstand feels closer to me, growing by the prospect of its significance alone. That gesture, that’s more intimate than anything Jesper and I did downstairs. 

“So?” I straighten my back slightly. “It doesn’t mean anything.” 

He presses his lips together. “That’s the problem--anyone can manage meaningless contact…” The silence is louder than the words that came before it. Oh. I guess I’m not the only one who gets just a little jealous in an unwarranted way. “What if you were hurt? What if you were hurt and we were alone and you needed someone to help you and I couldn’t?” He lets out a sigh, a sound too tired for me to associate with him. “You say you don’t care now, but you’ll grow tired of it--the only life I can offer.” 

Inej’s words about the similarities between Kaz and I echo in my mind. “Sometimes I don’t like when things are going well because I don’t know how to be truly content, fully happy.” Saying this twists my stomach. “I don’t know how to trust good things, so whenever there are good things I think about all the ways I could ruin something and then I do.” I take a breath. “I’m not saying that things are particularly good for you or that you’re happy, but I am saying that maybe you shouldn’t think three steps ahead when there’s nothing to think ahead about.” I regard his expression carefully, but nothing has changed. “I told you the only thing I want is to know you, and that’s not going to change.”

“Y/n,” his voice is low, “I am not rain--I can’t promise you anything.” 

I scratch my knee, dropping my gaze. “For once I don’t want rain.” 

Kaz sighs. “Get some sleep.” Something about the way he’s speaking is authoritative but it lacks any weight. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

I frown freely, “Kaz--” 

“You look tired,” he mumbles, “You need rest.” He’s using this as an excuse to escape his feelings, but he’s already given me more than I expected. Greed ruins things, but then again, so does selflessness. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“For the job?”

Something strange crosses his features as his expression teeters on shifting. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he repeats, a little more certain.

The response doesn’t satiate me. “Kaz--” 

“I may not be the rain, but I’m capable of making promises as well.” There’s something final about the way he says this, but it doesn’t feel cruel. 

Maybe I’d protest if my eyelids were less weighted. “Goodnight, Kaz.” 

My head falls against the pillow. I’m not sure if he replies, too lost in the drawl of sleep before he can even close the door. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 24/2021) - One Year

While George celebrates his one-year streaming anniversary, Bad goes around handing out invitations to people, reminding everyone that the Red Banquet will be a party to die for.

The Red Banquet is at 2PM EST Sunday.

---

VOD LINKS:

Foolish

HBomb94

Georgenotfound

Captain Puffy

Sapnap

Eret

---

- HBomb gets Foolish to try out his diamond game

- Next, it’s Fundy’s turn to play

- H then gets Ponk and Dream to compete at the game

- Foolish and Antfrost transport some pandas through the Nether

- George celebrates his one-year streaming anniversary by watching old clips of his first streams and the early SMP and doing a speedrun challenge. 

- Karl points out that George’s one-year anniversary on the SMP is today, and he hasn’t gone on the server. George logs on.

[TW for unreality]

- Karl and Sapnap are at Kinoko. George walks over to the Community House. 

Sapnap: “George, come to Kinoko Kingdom. Look, you’re in the past, but we’re living in the future.”

- George starts walking over, but Sapnap changes his mind and tells George to wait at the Community House for him. Karl says he has a present as well.

Sapnap: “George look. This is where it all started. Me, you and Dream, but he can’t...he can’t come here, can he...”

- Karl arrives, and Sapnap starts walking them all to the prison to visit Dream.

- Sapnap shows George that he still has Beckerson, and Karl tries to give George the blue wall shield but Sapnap takes it. George tells Sapnap to give it to him, and Sapnap says he’ll give it to George at the prison.

- As they’re walking down the Prime Path, Dream appears behind them and shouts that he’s out. Sapnap immediately kills him like he promised.

- They try it again. Dream appears behind them and runs towards them.

Dream: “I’M OUT! HUG ME!”

- He tells Sapnap that he’s changed completely, and Sapnap says that it’s fine then. Dream says he found Jesus, and Karl announces that he’s a time traveler. Karl took Dream to see Jesus.

- George suggests he and Dream frolic in the waterfall. They frolic together and then run to the Community House. Dream asks George to tell him everything that’s changed, and Sapnap tells Dream they have a kingdom now.

- Bad joins the call and they tell him that Dream has escaped. George says this is going to be the best day ever. Dream is back and all is good.

- Dream is amazed by Kinoko.

Dream: “This is epic! I can’t wait to -- I mean, yeah, it’s epic!”

George: “You can’t wait to what?”

Dream: “To see it!”

- Dream also explains that he felt unwanted in the prison, and so he changed his name to Joe.

- George asks what else Dream wants to do. Dream says he hasn’t seen Twitch Primes in a long time.

- They head back to Church Prime. Karl suggests that Dream get baptized.

Dream: “No I, I can be baptized too much... I bapped so much that after, they said if I did it again, my skin would fall off.”

Karl: “Is that why you kinda look green?”

Dream: “Yeah, yeah.”

- Dream says that rumor has it that every time the Church Prime bell is rung, a sub appears around the universe. The last person to master the bell was Tommy, but now Bad has mastered the bell as well.

- Dream says he might as well get baptized, actually. He jumps into the water stream and immediately dies, dropping a single bone. Bad gives the bone to George.

- Bad brings George to the spider spawner to name Dream’s Bone.

- Karl says he has a gift for George. Dream drops down the chute into the spider spawner room. It’s Dream from April 24th, 2020. 

- George drops the bone and Karl takes it. Dream asks if Karl is ready to take him back, but Karl says he won’t be taking Dream back to the past.

- Dream says that Karl is going to take his place in the past and starts chasing after him, trying to kill Karl before Karl becomes the owner of the SMP. 

- George and Bad go up to the surface. Things go dark and George wakes up by a white bed near Fundy’s house. Everyone is gone.

- George goes back down to the spider spawner but there’s no one there.

- He returns to the speedrun mob challenge server. He notices that his stream title is messed up. 

- Later, Sapnap finds out that he’s adopted while working on a tree.

- Sapnap encounters Bad at Kinoko Kingdom. Bad hands him an invitation to the Red Banquet.

- Bad promises food and dance. It’ll be a party.

Sapnap: “Will Dream be there?”

Bad: “Dream...Dream might be there -- wait no, he’ll be in jail.”

- Sapnap says he’ll attend, and Bad is overjoyed. It will be a party to die for.

- Bad says goodbye and leaves.

- Later, Eret comes online and Bad asks to meet her at the Community House.

- Once there, Bad says that there’s a Banquet tomorrow that Eret must have heard about, and gives him an official invitation. Eret accepts the invitation, saying she’ll be there.

Bad: “I expect to see you there, Eret...you’re an important guest, and I would...hate...for you to...miss the festivities.”

- Eret assures him that he won’t. Bad says people would kill for an invite. He says goodbye and leaves. 

- Eret hopes Foolish will be there, as they had a plan to attend to understand the enemy.

- Eret then works on updating their museum maps.

- Foolish joins the call. He asks if Eret’s gotten an invite. Eret says yes, but they agree that they both have suspicions.

- Foolish tells her about speaking with the other guests about the plans they decided on -- to see if they really are going to bury the hatchet, or whether it’s a trap.

Foolish: “Well listen, listen...the last party we attended, okay? You gotta lay off the drinks this time, we can’t have the same incident this time.”

Eret: “Hey, I’d like to think I can manage my stuff pretty well so I’m not sure what you could potentially be talking about.”

Foolish: “Listen, the last party we attended, that is not the case, not the case.”

Eret: “Have we...have we attended a party together?”

Foolish: “This again, this again...Okay, okay. Listen, after the Banquet, we’re gonna get to the bottom of this, okay? You still seem to be a little hazy about all this.”

- Foolish then asks if Eret has a Rolex yet, and promises to get him one. Eret’s going to prepare a dress outfit complete with horse armor to match the aesthetic.

- Eret still hopes that the Banquet is genuine. The Eggpire tried world domination, but they took all the Eggpire’s stuff and now they can’t realistically achieve it anymore, Eret thinks, referring to how the Blood Vines have all been cleared up.

- Foolish says he’ll see Eret tomorrow and leaves.

- Eret continues to work.

---

The Red Banquet will be streamed at 2PM EST.