#if he didnt actually enjoy it to some extent

[puhpandas]

one of the best things about Rab to me is that there was no higher power forcing him to play those arcade games. like that isnt the kinda thing glitchtrap would order him to do which means Rab developed his own hobby of playing arcade games and being insane at them and that's just something he did for fun

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Hi dear I hope you're doing well and I was hoping if you can do the whole greaser gang with a s/o that's like Fiona Gallagher from the show shameless? Like she's taking care of her six siblings and her dad who's usually at the bar or passed out somewhere. Their mother ran out and is mentally ill so their s/o is left to be her siblings mother/father/ and nurse fill free to ignore if you want to do and I hope you have a good day!

Summary: The Outsider x Fiona Gallagher!Reader Warnings:mentions of absent mother, drinking, very toxic adult behavior, dysfunctional family Author's Note: gonna be busy tmrw and weekend again, ill try and post 1 fic per day but no promises.

PONYBOY CURTIS

Ponyboy doesn’t really live in a dysfunctional family, yes his home life is tough but Darry loves him and tries his best and pony knows that

However, pony cant mentally put himself in Darry’s shoes of having no-one to lean on and having to take care of many siblings

When he first met you, he was absolutely smitten. And when you told him of your problems, he thought you were the toughest chick in town

He often asks Darry what to do to take a couple of burdens off your shoulder. He applies it to you and also at home, you’ve made him a better person.

JOHNNY CADE

Has a dysfunctional family and can understand, to an extent..he still gets fed sometimes and doesn’t have to work to stay in his home

But he doesn’t have a hard time adjusting to you.

He’s very open and loves your siblings, so he tries to take them out as many times as possible to give you some rest.

He genuinely doesnt understand how your parents could have left you doing all this by yourself when you’re such a perfect girl.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Soda admires you like you’re a work of art. 

He takes everything into consideration, for example, if he wants to take you on a date he’ll invite some of the gang members to hang out with your siblings and keep them away

Never asks you for anything, not to rant, vent or anything. He feels as if his problems could never measure up to yours so his whole world revolves around you.

Tries to spend as much of his money as possible to get you nice things and spoil you.

STEVE RANDLE

Steve understands how tough it is for you mentally. He’ll often stop by your place with something for you, like a box of chocolates or something. 

Whenever he’s over, he makes an effort to get to know and play with your siblings, he even was going to introduce himself to your dad. You convinced him it was a bad idea so he didnt.

He makes it known that you can tell him anything, literally anything, and he’d listen. He also wants you to know that you can call him anytime and he’d come for you.

Reassures you that he won’t ever leave you, that you’re special and he’s madly in love with you.

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

Two-Bit has some kid experience so he tries his hardest to keep your siblings company and even brings his sisters for ‘playdates’

Really enjoys spending time with you and would even do the chores around the house with you to keep talking with you.

He’s not very good at comforting people and he tries to make up for it by using his humor. You get where he’s coming from and it often helps a lot actually.

Tries his best to look nice for you when he comes over, he wants you to know he’s not a washed up nobody like your parents and wants to be a rolemodel to your siblings.

DARRY CURTIS

Often tells you that you’re perfect and that your siblings will grow so much better with you as their ‘parent’. He once made you cry because of what he said and he just held you in his arms while you sobbed.

He can sort of relate to what you’re going through but his is not as extreme as yours. 

Whenever he can he drops by to help you. Date night consists of making dinner for your siblings, washing the dishes and having a late night dinner together after you put your siblings to bed.

He knows you'd make a perfect wife since he’s old enough to marry, just waiting on the right time to pop the question.

DALLAS WINSTON

Dallas is insensitive and rude to you. He knows what you’re going through, he just doesn’t care.

However, once you caught him putting on a bandaid for your younger brother. He wasn’t kind about it, saying things like “can’t you do this yourself?” but he still did it.

He knows you saw it and thinks that hanging around your house and helping you with chores and siblings will keep you quiet about it

He doesn’t like kids, but he tolerates them for his reputation, and because you’re growing on him.

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

[bazoonga-bazinga]

watching tua s4 knowing fully how its going to disappoint me rn and something that keeps bothering me is just how awful it is that they dont show what happens during the 6 year time skip.

like in season 2 we get to see an abridged version of how everyone got to where they are. this allowed for me as viewer to at least undertsand the reasoning behind the siblings' actions and conflicts. but in season 4 there is just none of that.

instead we only get to see the after of the timeskip. Whatever bits we do hear abt the time in between are extremly limited because they are things that are told to us from biased/flawed/one-sided perspectives. I as a viewer do not get a clear idea of why any of the 8 charcters of the main cast change the way they do becuase i am never shown how this change ocurred. its more i am told things and have to accept because of the 6 year gap.

lila and diego's strained marriage is actually i think the only they showed without telling to an extent. but it still would have also been nice to see thier struggles transitioning to suburbia and would also aid me to better understand why neither of them tried to find an adequate balance in the 6 years. also like why is diego working as a delivery driver? in my mind it makes more sense for him to be a mediocre private investgator or something like that? idk just some more context behind the tension and thier decsions (especially lila dear god dont even get me started) would have been wonderful

viktor's journey to Canada and his distancing from the others sounded interesting and i would have loved to see that on screen. he clearly is unable to form long lasting intamate relationships and showing his life in the time gap would have been a great way to show his journey of accepting the loss of sissy.

allison was definitely hit hard by the lack of explanation. i understand the scheduling issues with raymond's actor but it truly was a heavy blow to season 3 allison actions when they just said he left with no other explanation. most of her conflicts in season 3 were motivated by the loss of claire and raymond and you are telling me she just lost 50% of that a year afterwards? and like this doesnt get mentioned until episode 3??

i actually enjoyed klaus's shift to a risk averse person and it did make sense to me after losing his immortality to become more aware of not only his but his loved ones mortality. the biggest glaring issue is the one everyone has talked about: the lack of dave. i think if they had shown klaus trying to find info on dave and/or even visiting his grave in the timeskip it would been fine with me that he wouldn't mention dave that much. but the dog tags being on screen and him not saying anything is actually inasne??? also it sounds like there was definitely more to his sobriety than what they have told sad that we didnt get to see that storyline....

everyone has said thier piece on how luther just mentioning sloane and then no other explanation is actually awful. like a simple flashback fo luther searching and finding sloane living a different life would have been better than them giving us nothing💀

ben i actually have nothing to say...it would have been silly to see the crypto scam ig. also an explanation of why they even showed the other ben the post credit of the s3 finale i think is warranted. like even a mention of yeah there is probably another ben who belongs to this universe walking around would have been okay ig

five oh where to even begin.... first of all how tf does a person who isnt even in thier 20s even get a gig at the cia. i know they said some bullahit abt five being a part of a relative young group/recruit (cant remember the exact wording) but like a person who is younger than 19 getting a job at the cia is a bit much. also i actually refuse to belive that five wouldn't have figured out his boss was part of the keepers there is just no way. after the handler and reggie i refuse to belive that five would lose his suspicion towards authority figures. i think the only authority figure he has ever listened to was the founder version of himself and even that took time. like if you want me to believe that bs then show me how five turned his brain into mush in the 6 year time skip. either that or show how me his loneliness in those six year because from what i have right now five worked at the cia and that is it nothing else. like from what i have been told by the show nothing else happended to him besides working. which if thier implication is that he was only working and drifted apart from his siblings that message was not clear enough to me as viewer and would have been alot clearer if i was shown such as thing.

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Diavolo & Barbatos with a Goth MC! : basically my thoughts on what their reactions would be, how they would handle having a goth partner, ext.

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Welcome! to another part of this adventure! The characters may not be how you imagine! I apologize for any poor jokes, bad spelling, and terrible grammar. Without further ado, please enjoy the content. ♡

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Goth MC! who does the make up, the white foundation the "crazy" eyeliner, the black/grey or dark color eyeshadow and blush. Classic black or red lipstick with matching nail polish on the Mc's fingers. The saggy looking hair that matches the make up, oh so well. Goth MC! Who has the unkept look, but at second glance you can tell their well kept. At least to some extent. The Mc has raggy, ripped looking outfit but upon closer inspection its clear the outfit is perfectly kept up with. Goth MC! Who has an over extent looking outfit, looking like rags on rags, and the Mc has a dead looking apperance appearing to have risen from the grave. Almost the perfect example of a goth baddie. How will they react?

Diavolo

When Goth Mc crashlands in the Devildom, Diavolo is Fascinated! He may not understand why their dressed Goth but he still thinks Goth Mc looks adorable! Diavolo would ask all kinds of questions. "Why do you choose to dress like that? Is it a human custom? Goth?? Whats that? Tell me everything!!" This is all assuming he doesn't already know what goth is lol. Diavolo is just an excited puppy eager to learn anything about humans. So please entertain him with Goth culture or just tell him dark stories. Maybe even talk about music and how complicated that can be. He'll be amazed! "There's a whole sub-culture for Goth? Thats wonderful! You must tell me all about it!!" With those puppy dog eyes and that grin of his, Goth Mc would have no choice but to talk nonestop about goth things until Diavolo's curiousity subsides. If it ever does.

Diavolo can listen to Goth Mc for hours. Even when Mc leave Diavolo will be thinking about what Mc had been telling him. Instead of doing his paperwork he would daydream or think of more questions related to Goth culture just so he could ask Goth Mc. Barbs and Luci are banging their heads against the wall, so much unfinished paperwork. Poor bbys.

Dating Diavolo is super supportive. Diavolo loves Goth Mc's look! Humans somewhat looked down on the Goth apperance? Diavolo will make a Devildom where its the complete opposite! He wants Mc to be happy and safe in Devildom. I mean honestly, whos going to say anything to Goth Mc when the Demon Prince is standing next to them anyways? A psychopath? "No harm or hate shall come to you when hes besides you, Mc!" Diavolo will happily parade Goth Mc around formal events, arms linked proudly showing the Devildom that he's with them.

Speaking of formal events, Diavolo expects Goth Mc to dress gothic when attending an event. "You should feel comfortable being you, Mc. The Devildom is a Safespace for you." Or he'll make it one. Diavolo will gladly provide Mc with formal gothic attire if Mc doesn't have/can't afford any. He just wants to see his cute little human all dolled up! It fills Mc's gothic desires so win, win situation.

Diavolo is the Demon Prince so he is going to give Mc amazing gifts, and he'll do it all the time. No occasion needed! Diavolo may give Mc some extravagant goth item. Or maybe he'll bring Mc along to the grand opening of something spooky like. Diavolo doesn't care what it is if Goth Mc wants it he'll give it to them. As long as its reasonable. Diavolo may one day be becoming king, but Goth Mc is his ruler.

Barbatos

Barbatos can see the future so like he probably saw Goth Mc coming before they actually arrived in the Devildom. But even if he didnt,the most of a reaction Mc would see is an intrigued eyebrow raise. Barbatos is very good at keeping his composure. Nobody can know his thoughts or see how hes feeling hy his reaction.

I feel like Barbatos would enjoy the goth aesthetic. Similar to what i said with Satan's reaction, Barbs enjoys that the goth look appears to be an artistic outlit. Barbs also makes clothes so i feel like he would appreciate the Goth attire in general. Taking inspiration from it at some points.

Dating with Barbatos is pleasant. Barbs isn't always free. Hes a busy man babysitting taking care of the Demon Prince. However Barbs always makes it up to Mc. It can be small acts or even small presents just subtle ways of trying to apologize for not always being free. Barbs knows Goth Mc's favorite everything, as a butler its his job to be observant and know everything about those he looks after. So Goth Mc can expect their favorites with him.

Barbs will gladly sit and have tea with Goth MC as they teach him of Goth culture or talk about something dark. Mc's telling him about this gruesome horror movie they watched recently? He's nodding along and sipping his tea with a fond smile. He'll occasionally ask a question or add something into the conversation. "The suspense is killing me, do tell me what happens next my dear." Said straight faced, but he really is intrested!

Barbs doesnt find Goth Mc's appearance or interests offputting. Everyones fond of their own things, and he finds Mc to be very unique. Barbs is a high respected demon with a lot of power. I doubt anyone would say anything bad to Mc with him around, but if they did he would handle it very professionally. He would give them a snarky passive aggressive remark. He cant do anything crazy without "shaming" Lord Diavolo so he just handles it calmly and professionally. The poor sap that said whatever to Mc was never seen again tho. Mystery what happened lol.

Barbatos defiently gives Goth MC amazing gifts. He has connections everywhere, if he sees something goth or something that makes him think of Mc, he'll get it for them. Mc will also recieve outfits he made for them, obviously it matches their goth aesthetic. Barbs maybe a busy man but he's always thinking of Mc. He gives them gifts all the time, small or large with no reason other than- "I saw it and I immediately thought of you, my dear. I may not be allowed to be with you always, but you're forever on my mind." Barbs is unbashful and will gladly spoil Goth Mc, with compliments or presents and any other ways he can. He just wants his little human to understand he cares.

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Thats all for now babes! Hope you enjoyed!! ♡ This is not proofread. Feel free to comment or reblog any thoughts or any add ons you have! Next up will be: Solomon, Simeon, & Luke(platonic) Stay tuned! Stay safe! & EAT YOU'RE VEGGIES! ‹𝟹

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[partywithoutsmiling]

@lovepeacestar

I imagine there is lot of confusion at first- and shock, definitelly the shock

The thing is- and what I headcanon- Troll hair is sacred; and while only Pop Trolls seem to be able to use it essentially as an extension of themselves, I imagine for all of the trolls, it is still very sensitive and point of pride

Which would make Barb reaching into Poppy's hair a rather violating move- for a Pop Troll especially, as their hair sensitivity is probably highest of then Troll kind

(Ngl, that would make for a good ficlet/oneshot, I could explore this further XD)

So even if Branch is clearly sporting musical Strings in his hair- it is still his hair, and reaching into it and plucking them is a major taboo

Honestly, I think few trolls would be stunned in that 'oh why didnt I realize sooner', that those are Strings in Branch's hair- definitelly Delta Dawn, who Branch met very early and developed frienship with (Along with Barb and to an extent Trollex)

Poppy, whose knowledge about the Strings would be the most recent.... Honestly, I think she would have been the only one who would suspect there is something more to them, but her fear of pushing Branch away would stall any questions she would have

The big point of if all however though- Branch wouldn't allow the strings to be used as a crutch for the music anymore Arguing he was able to find music inside himself even without the strings' help

In fact, it was his singing, him enjoying and making music, that led to the Strings' creation And he would encourage the Trolls to try and do the same, much like they had in the movie

Trolls would of course be curious about the seventh String, but honestly, with all that happened at the moment, it would probably take a while for someone to actually try and draw attention to it XD

-------------

As for Branch's brothers, hmmmm Honestly, from the movies, it seemed to be that the Pop String's existence- and the existence of other Trolls- turned to be a carefully guarded Royal Secret, that went on for generations

Probably in effort for the Pop Royals to erase the crime they almost commited and to pain themselves all squeaky clean

Now, bit of musing, but

There has been a screenshot of an updated map from some sort of converence (avialable of Troll Wiki), what poses few questions

From this map, we can see that Bergen Town itself is rather far away from The Troll Kingdom Territories- the current ones at least; yet it was implied (and widely accepted) that the Troll Tree used to be the Capitol of Trolls in general, not just Pop Trolls

I know the movies have more plot holes than a doily lol, but given the turbulent history of Strings, it would have made sense for the other Tribes to run away as far as the could from Pop

And yet, Peppy was in possession of a Map that showed all current Kingdoms- and was still outdated, given Branch's comment about Disco

This is bit chaotic once more but bear with me XD I know most fans accept that Brozone broke out when they were already locked up in the tree, but I am pretty sure the creators stated that the break up happened before Bergen Town even locked up the Pop Trolls

Given the position of the abandoned golf course- abandoned, being the key words- we can assume the Bergens by themselves were rather migratory, and left the land where the golf course is situated because of some reasons

As it is, the Pop Troll territory must have been huge- easily spanning the woods around Bergen town, including what used to be before Bergen town, and reaching far north to cover what is known as Pop Troll Territory now That would make the Pop Troll populace- back then at least- massive compared to other Tribes- certainly enough that the little territory they have now has not been contested since the Separation of Strings

And yet the map that Poppy is using only includes the current Kingdoms, as outdated as it apparently is Meaning the creator of the map made it with the assumption that the Pop Territory won't be any larger than that- Or it was just one map of many, and the only one worth keeping, when the Bergens started decimating their numbers to the point that they could no longer hold any larger territory than that

Anyway, I got derailed XD

But, as I wanted to say, I don't think the previous Pop Royals were the nicest of Trolls, and seemed to definitelly made it their goal to erase every dirty little secret, keeping the existence of the Pop String to themselves

If the knowledge of either other genres or the String was not forbidden, they would have been stories passed down from parents to a child- and yet the current Pop Trolls are completely ignorant, and probably has been for a looooong time, even before Bergens found them delicious to snack on

That means at the time of the band breaking, none of Branch's brother even had idea that the Strings existed- and at the end of world tour, probably only Floyd- who is present- would have any idea to their Significance

JD perhaps has any idea other genres exists, but Bruce and Clay doesn't seem to be aware of either, as according to the map, they woudn't even have a chance of meeting other Trolls, unless they were some minor genre tribe

As it is, Branch probably now feels very selfconscious about the Strings, and isn't really keen on drawing attention to them After all, it does paint a very obvious target on his back, as not all Trolls posses the morals to not try and pluck the String to themselves

(Chaz certainly seem to be the type)

[sarcastictissy]

Hi, Tissy. I want to thank you for the positivity you bring to this community. It's something that is in short supply around here, and it's greatly appreciated. You have also been fair and objective, which is also appreciated. That is why I feel it is safe to send this message to you.

The past and present QSMP admins deserve support, but only to an extent. There have been instances of them displaying terrible behavior, and the QSMP community needs to stop ignoring/excusing it. The xenophobic remarks made by Lea and Lumi. Lea's baseless speculation on Twitter that Quackity's brother was working for the QSMP is what caused people to dox Quackity. Lea showing no remorse for leaking Quackity's information and causing his safety to be threatened. Some of the admins were very insensitive about the doxxing. Quackity's safety was actually threatened, and they were saying/agreeing with someone saying "womp womp" about the stream where he spoke about how he felt physically unsafe. And now we have the actions of Puella and other admins defending them.

The QSMP community's continued parasocial behavior toward the admins is just very frustrating for me to witness.

🥺🥺 I really, really appreciate your kind words!! Thank you so much, they mean a lot, genuinely. Hearing I help people stay positive, or even enjoy my posts, on qsmp makes my day, honestly. I'm so glad I get to cheer people up and help them. It inspires me to keep doing just that! :D

Onto what you said, I don't know who needs to read this, but you ARE allowed to respect someone/ support them AND be annoyed by their words or actions. You are allowed to like someone, and dislike some of their actions. You can support the admins, be annoyed by how they were treated by QStudios, and also be disappointed by what they have said or done.

Personally, I'm disappointed by Lea's xenophobia in her interview that was strictly about her experience with the studios. She used this as an opportunity (whether it was intentional or not) to say xenophobic remarks towards the Spanish speaking community. Nevermind, the fact she never apologised for, and, even tried to justify, doxxing Quackity. She said that her doxxing Quackity was no where near as bad as what she went through during her time working with QStudios. Doxxing is NEVER the answer. I'm severely disappointed by her ignorance and xenophobia. That does not take away from the fact that she did suffer. I respect she was under poor working conditions and I support her in getting treated correctly and paid fairly. Absolutely I do. But I cannot support and will not support how she treated Quackity or the Spanish speaking community.

You can draw your own conclusions and do your own research on the matter. I am not here to tell you what to think. Those are just my thoughts.

In terms of Pomme, I'm not aware of much she's done. I know her support to Otipep and I read somewhere that she did not translate her statement leaving Qsmp into Spanish, but did so for all Portuguese and English. To be perfectly honest, if she had only posted it in French, I would not have cared or been mad. We can translate it ourselves or use an accommodation to do so. She should not have to do that for us, but she did and proceeded to and leave out Spanish as part of the transition, and, again, i dont know if that was intentional or not. But she didnt make an attempt to fix it. (Korean speakers were not yet added at this point).

I want to say one last thing about the admins:

You cannot fight xenophobia with xenophobia. It's inexcusable and unjustifiable. Support the workers rights and conditions, but under no circumstances, does that allow for xenophobia to go unnoticed. You can do both.

[paulacocks]

I finally built up the courage to make a post myself so here we go 🤪

But in the bmc fandom no one can agree on rich’s real personality. Is he over the top chaos? Is he soft and calm? Well i pulled up my english analysis skills and decided to english analysis the SQUIP song and give you some unnecessary essay

Alright before we get into the analysis, i want to mention that i believe rich was abused by his dad growing up as he drinks and it seems stereotypical for the bully character to have a bad home life and we all know the bmc characters are built on stereotypes. Now according to a google search teachers are told to look out for things like bad hygiene, back chat, aggression as they can be indications of abuse/neglect

When listening to the squip song i felt like some of it was the squip trying to relate to Jeremy’s problems. We do even see the SQUIP do this in the broadway version by getting Jeremy to tell rich his dad drinks. So some of the lines you got to take with a pinch of salt as it can just be the squip trying to relate

On that note

Freshman year didnt have a girlfriend or a clue i was a looser just like you

This is not too relevant to rich’s character and seems to be going off of what Jeremy was singing in More Than Survive. The squip just saw him sign up for the play and interact with Christine. So to immediately open with this line makes it seem less personal to Rich and more trying to appeal to Jeremy

Good times would only sour by

This however is Rich. Jeremy actually doesn’t want to be popular, he enjoys Michael company. He gets the SQUIP to not be a total loser cause he wants to avoid ridicule. so right now i can infer that rich probably didn’t have any or many friends. We was probably desperate to be included and join in on teenage good times.

I was gross

As i mentioned at the top, i believe rich was abused so i feel like this may be a nod to that.

As every female would detest my sexting was a futile quest

This is one of the most important lines. As earlier on its says he is gross with no friends so how is he even managing to get girls numbers? This may be a leap but call me the doodle jump guy thing but i feel like rich was very funny. He was probably the type of guy to talk back to teachers and when kids are picking fun of him he probably made jokes about himself to try and join in on the fun. While that didn’t get him friends it probably got him a few nice or insecure girls (brook??) but he was too awkard or nerdy or too… sexual to get anywhere with them

Furthermore

The squip does not completely change your personality

Atleast what we see through Jeremy is that the squip just hides your flaws and plays up your strengths. Like Jeremy did remain somewhat awkard and geeky; crying about eminem, being a robot to the halloween party etc

So we can look at how rich acts with the squid which will reveal how he was before

Rich is the funny guy in the popular kid circle, hes the one shouting GAY and picking on kids and messing with jenna. More evidence for funny guy rich.

BUT that would suggest that rich probably always had a bit of a violent streak-

All characters have flaws and rich was that he probably was quick to hop on to picking on kids on the same level as the high school food chain as him in hopes of getting friends and boosting his status. Definitely not to the extent he would now cause he was probably too weak but he definitely wasn’t nice at least verbally when it suited him.

This probably was his downfall really as if he was nicer to the losers he probably would of been friends with them

Now rich is my fav character as you could prolly guess and i don’t really like the idea of rich being a meanie without the squip SO

We could go for a nice little alternative and say that he would fight with kids picking on him. Maybe he had mad reflexes from his abusive dad and would smack up kids who touch him or do that think fast thing or something :)

Anyways i think i had more to go on about but this is pretty waffle already and i can’t really remember. If you guys have your own ideas on ANY of the characters reply i would love to read them :D

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Part 5. Heart Break of the Century

The family starts to realize that the reader and Noah make a good match. Tommy and the reader begin to realize she has PTSD and start to notice how that impacts her relationships.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in about this series! I really hope that you guys enjoy! <3

Previous parts

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault/abuse, panic attacks, and anxiety about that experience. Nothing is actually described with detail, PTSD, general peaky chaos

Tommy was acutely aware that his daughter had some emotional problems. She didnt run, she wouldn't fight, she would crumple. Exposing something so broken it made his head swim with anger. He wanted to take the coward’s way out and tell Lizzie to speak to her about it. However, not even he knew the extent of how many awful things had happened to Lizzie, he knew it wasn't a topic she handled well. Having her stressed made him extremely anxious about the baby. 

He lay there in bed, thankful beyond belief that you agreed to sleep in their room. That you got into bed with them, that you hadn't changed your view on the two of them. He would need to speak with John and Arthur about how they go about things. 

The look that crossed your face flashed through his mind once more and flinched. 

“Dad” She whispered and startled him slightly. 

“Wot” He whispered back. 

“I don’t hate you for what you and Lizzie went through.” 

“That’s - good.” He said unsure of how to respond. 

“I - I love you both.” She stuttered and his heart broke a little more if possible. 

He sighed. “I love you too.” 

“I’m sorry I collapsed on the floor the other day.” 

“What happened to-” 

“Just a lot of beatings. I don’t exactly hold back what I’m thinking, doesn't make for the best student or daughter.” 

“Just beatings?” He said trying to remain calm, his fingers balled into fists at his side. 

“One particular priest, he – ah” Her voice was thick and he waited to see what she wanted to say. He wouldn't push her, he would make sure no one ever pushed her for anything ever again. “He used to run his hands on me - while punishing me. Could have been a lot worse. He was, as Polly would say, touched by demons.” 

Tommy lay there biting the inside of his cheek. He wasn't a good man, he didnt have words of comfort for her. He felt her move next to him. Her arms wrapped around his right arm and she pressed her face into his shoulder. 

“It doesn't bother me, I just get overwhelmed when men sort of get really angry.” 

“I’m sorry I scared you.” 

“Don’t- I know it’s only because you love me.” 

“Still, don't let men yell at you like that. Not even me.” The thought of Noah bossing her around, shouting at her was enough to make him light a cigarette. It’s a great example he had been setting for her. She was already confused and now- 

“I won’t.” 

He felt her relax and eventually listened to the both of them breathing softly. He relaxed accepting the fact that his mind would not allow him to rest tonight. 

______________________________

Waking up you were relieved to feel both parents still in place beside you. Opening your eyes you found yourself still pressed against Tommy's arm, and you could feel Lizzie’s hand in your hair. 

“Morning” You whispered knowing that Tommy was awake. 

“Morning.” He whispered back. 

“If it's allowed can I go get dressed and see if Noah’s up?” 

“Fine.” He said getting up and stretching. You moved out of the room and quickly got washed and dressed in your room. You fussed over what to wear but decided that a pair of trousers and a long-sleeved top with a wool jumper would be best. Better to be practical when the enemy was afoot. You dashed to the kitchen to make some tea. 

You knocked on his door and heard a muffled grumble on the other side. You slowly pushed the door open while holding two mugs of hot tea. 

“Morning” You whispered before your voice got caught in your throat. He was a crumpled masterpiece. He was sprawled across the bed, sheets a mess. He was topless, and you felt your face get hot. “Oh, I have tea.” 

He quickly got up and grabbed the shirt hanging on the bedpost. He pulled in on and then ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks were pink and suddenly you forgot how to breathe. 

You handed him the mug and sat on the end of the bed realizing you probably should have waited for him to come downstairs. 

“How did you sleep? Was everything comfortable?” You resorted to being a good host for lack of better things to say. 

“Oh erm - ya, it was great.” He said taking a sip of tea. You both caught each other's eye and laughed. 

“Sorry for waking you.” You mumbled into the rim of your mug. 

“Not a bad way to wake up, really.” His eyes were so warm and inviting. “So what are we up to today.” 

“I’m not sure, thought maybe we could go for a walk outside. Play in the snow.” Once you said it you realized how childish it was. 

“They have some important meeting on today so being outside sounds nice.” 

You both drank your tea and Noha put his arm around you. You leaned into his side and watched as more snow fell outside his window. 

__________________

The morning was chaotic and you were grateful you had a half hour of quiet up in Noah’s room before Esme found you. You had to help with breakfast, and then everyone ate together before going in different directions. 

John and Arthur were given a task in the kitchen making calls, Esme and Polly were helping Lizzie while she rested. The kids were to play downstairs for the day, and Tommy and Alfie would be in his office making more calls and strategizing. 

You and Noah weren't given any instruction. You both sat quietly as everyone left the dining room. 

“Guess they forgot us then,” Noah whispered and it was nice not to be the center of attention for once. 

The rest of the morning passed you by sitting with Noah in front of the fireplace in your room. You both chatted and played cards, pretended to be mad when you caught the other cheating. 

Eventually, you got your walk, observing the groups surrounding the house. You were looking at the various fires and wondering if everyone was warm enough when something hard hit your shoulder. Snow flicked up and landed on your cheeks making you jump. 

You whirled around and Noah threw another one at you. This, much like the card games, became a brutal competition. You were both hurling snow at each other at a vicious pace. You could feel the adults looking at the both of you probably judging you but you didnt let it distract you. 

You wanted this boy to surrender. 

A bunch of shouting caused you to turn your head. A snowball caught your cheek and you brushed off the painful sting, eyes still focused on the commotion breaking out at one of the camps. 

“Are you-” 

You didnt let him finish what he was going to say, you ran towards the camp with a feeling of panic rising through you. What if the Changrettas were here? Running towards it wasn’t smart. 

Noah’s arms caught you preventing you from getting any closer. You stopped and he mouthed to be quiet, you gave a nod and he let you go. 

You both moved closer to the camp to see what the commotion was about. Various slurs and swears were being exchanged between the men. No real threat. Just a squabble between the Solomons and Shelbys. 

Relief flooded you and you walked up to the men at the center of it. You heard Noah swear before rushing to your side. 

“What’s the problem?” You looked to Johnny Dogs because you knew him the best. He answered in Romani, which seemed a bit rude but soon Noah was speaking to his men in Hebrew. 

You listened carefully, wanting to make sure you could come up with a reasonable solution. 

______________________________________________

“Tommy - the men are fighting. Think she’s got it under control but it’s not really her place.” Finn was hanging out of the door to his study and the anger was quickly replaced with anxiety. 

Why the fuck were you outside? That was the one thing he told- ah, he didn’t actually remember giving you your tasks for the day at breakfast. Fuck. He apologized and ended the phone call he was having. He and Alfie moved out of the study. 

“She’s a real trouble maker you know that - Noah never sticks his nose where he’s not supposed to. Then she comes around and suddenly he’s always-” 

“Fuck off Alfie.” But they both shut up when they saw the two of them negotiating with each other. Negotiating on behalf of their people, if it was anyone else Tommy would have had to beat the living daylights out of them for overstepping. 

“Now, on our end, we would like to formally apologize for any words of disrespect spoken about anyone's mother.” You spoke clearly. 

“Accepted,” Noah said nodding. 

“Anything else to clear up?” 

“Nah,” Johnny Dogs said with a shrug. 

“Well, in the future, if you insult each other make it more entertaining.” You quipped causing both sides to laugh. “No one likes being cooped up here, try to make the best of it.” Your voice was still light but it had an edge of warning everyone seemed to take seriously. 

Eyes started to land on him and Alfie and they all hummed loudly in agreement. When you looked up at him your mask seemed to falter slightly. You knew it wasn’t your place to do such things, but he knew that you were just trying to be helpful. 

He didnt have to tell you to go inside, you could tell what the look meant. You trudged through the snow back up to the house. 

“Any problems here?” Alfie boomed his voice bouncing off of the snow. 

“No.” then men mumbled or shook their heads. 

“Good.” He responded before walking back up to the house with Noah. 

Tommy stood outside for a long moment. Letting the adrenaline wear off. As much as he hated the boy, the two of them worked well together. If this was anyone else's daughter in the family, he would have gotten them married. Strengthened the alliance a lot more than shipping passageways to New York. 

He shook the idea out of his head. You were 17, and he didnt want you to get married - ever. 

___________________________________________

“Not a bad tactic down there. Very clever” Alfie gave you a pat on the back and your whole shoulder shook from the force of it. You were sat next to him at the dinner table tonight. 

“Erm - Thanks.” 

“Surprisingly the two of you make a pretty decent team,” He said quietly. 

“Oh, yeah I think so.” You said with a blush on your cheeks. Having someone's approval made you happy. 

The next few days everyone kept themselves in check. No drama or nonsense. Tommy had placed you and Noah on kid duty. Meaning there were at least five little kids between the two of you at any given movement. You were happy that Noah didnt seem to mind. He enjoyed spending time with the little ones. 

You felt the tension deep in your stomach, you never got a moment alone with him. Tommy, despite being overworked and overwhelmed seemed to always have something for you to do. Then before you knew it the day had flashed by and you were back in bed with your parents. You missed your room, but you knew that both of them were at their limits.

Lizzie was in bed all day now, she moved around the room and took baths, but didnt join the family for meals. No one could figure out what was wrong with her, just kept insisting she needed to rest. 

While getting ready for bed you noticed a white shirt on folded on the edge of your bed. It was a soft cotton shirt of Noah's. You breathed in his scent and hated how your body felt alive and pained at the same time. You changed into a pair of bottoms and wore his shirt hoping no one would notice. You went into your parent's room and settled in under the heavy blankets.  Lizzie smiled at you with a knowing look in her eye.

You felt both far away from her having been busy all day, yet closer to her as you slept next to her. 

“What’s causing these wrinklers hm?” She said running a thumb between your brow. 

“Do you like Noah?” You asked. She studied your features with a type of sadness you didn't understand. 

“I haven't had a chance to see much of him. Polly adores him, Esme says it will either work out or be the heartbreak of the century. She read his tea leaves though.” You let out a groan of embarrassment. “Says things look promising.” 

“Great.” You whispered feeling her thumb trying to sooth over the wrinkles on your brow again. 

“That’s the risk everyone has to take.” She said softly. 

“I really like him.” You sighed. “I don’t want the heartbreak of the century."

“No one does, but maybe that’s not a part of your story.” She shrugged. You nodded feeling your eyes getting heavy. She continued to run her thumb across your forehead.  

“Will you be alright?” You mumbled.

“Yes, I think most of this is just stress.” You nodded and quietly agreed before falling asleep. 

________________

The tension only got worse as more snow piled onto Arrow house. Anxiety as your father negotiated trade deals and other nefarious things to ensure allies against the Changretta family. The stress of knowing that any of the men he makes a deal with could sell him out.

The radio says the rain was only a few days away, and a sadness filled you at the thought of Noah leaving. You loved having him and Alfie around. 

Things really came to a head when you both were forgotten again. You sneaked up to your bedroom and played cards by the fire. This time it was harder to notice the way his hands brushed yours. How warm his skin was, how his features shone in the firelight. 

He was losing the round and decided to switch tactics by grabbing your face and kissing you. This kiss was as heated as the one at the top of the ferris wheel. Your body hummed with life and a burning sensation that suffocated you. His hands were in your hair and you wanted to drown in him. 

When his hand slipped lower to your throat you nearly jumped out of your skin. The feeling washed over you leaving you stiff as a board. Memories came in and wrapped around your mind like a vice. 

It was inescapable and you moved your body with just enough urgency to just make it to the toilet. You puked hating the way your head was spinning. Noah was there apologizing looking frightened. His hands fluttered around you but you could tell he didnt want to touch you. 

Embarrassment hit you and it was almost as bad as the initial panic. 

“I’m sorry I just.” 

“It’s alright. Can I” He motioned towards you with his hands and you gave him a nod. He flushed the toilet and sat down close to you. 

“I’m sorry-” You started.

“It’s alright, I’m nervous too. I haven't done any of this before.” So he was a virgin. Your mind flashed back to Nancy Wellington in math class going off about how he’d banged a lot of older girls.

“Nancy Wellington told me you’d gotten the clap from a uni girl.” You were desperate for a distraction and blurted it out without thinking. Noah let out a laugh that calmed you down slightly. 

“That’s because I turned her down, she wanted me to take her to the spring dance.” He ran his hand up and down your spine. 

“What happened to you? Is it something I did or-” He deserved an answer as the boy looked tortured over the situation. 

“Well, as you know I came from an orphanage. And I used to get a lot of beatings.” You looked back into the toilet and took a shuttering breath. 

“People used to hit you?” His voice was riddled with anger. 

“My dad also used to hit me a lot.” You added weakly avoiding the next part of the story.

“That’s - just come home with me then. Dad loves you, he won’t care. You can take Lizzie with us if she’s also getting -” His face set into a hard mask, his voice was cold and demanding. 

“No! Not Tommy, my biological father.” 

“You sure?" His eyes narrowed in on you and thankfully you didnt get the usual bout of anxiety. 

“Positive. He looks grumpy, but he’s not with me - he’s never.” You whispered. 

“Right, so the orphanage. How bad was it?” He challenged you keeping your eyes there. Telling him about this made you afraid but his reaction so far had done nothing more than make you fall for him even harder. 

“He just used to choke me -run his hands all over me.” His eyes didn’t move from yours. He didn’t change his expression. He shouldered it like it was business- like he was in the trenches with you. “Still a virgin and everything.” 

“Not what I’m worried about,” Noah said dismissively, his brown eyes still boring into yours. 

“What are you worried about.” You said breathlessly considering throwing up again. You broke your staring contest to look back at the toilet. Your stomach was cramped up into knots. 

“That you're alright, how to help you. What you need. That type of stuff.” Noah ran his hand down your back again. His hands slowly came up avoiding your neck and pulled your hair up. 

“Thanks.” You said weakly. 

He was so comforting that tears formed in your eyes. He made a soothing sound. 

“You're just so nice to me - all the time.” He let out a little chuckle then the door opened further. Your dad’s eyes narrowed in on the situation. He left the room quickly and the panic washed up over you again. You puked again and Noah helped keep you upright. Then Esme was there fussing over the both of you. 

“Was it something you ate, love?” She untied a ribbon from her wrist and tied your hair up. 

“Noah.” Tommy pointed out of the room. You could tell by the boy’s body language this was going to be a fight. “Need to talk to you out here for a moment.” Tommy added quickly.  Noah looked at you and you nodded hoping that it wouldnt be a mess. The anxiety from the situaton only made your stomach roll again. 

Noah moved out of the bathroom and you felt Esme press a cold cloth to your forehead.

______________________

Already have the first bit written for the next part. Let me know what you guys think <3 Thanks again for all the love.

Tags: @sorrygojo @dreamy-caramel @pet1t3

[princessmacedon]

{ happy anniversary!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together. Template courtesy of Neffi! 💕

Name: Red, more commonly nicknamed Reddo

Pronouns: they/them preferred, she/he OK!

Birthday (no year): December 28th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? moved to kentucky when I was young, and for sake of ease i use EST (TOAST)! i live near a timezone line, so i get to be flexible like that >vo)v HAHA

How long is your roleplay experience? with a few on and off breaks, roughly 15 years? i forgot about a period of my life where i 'moderated' (read: was the most active user on) a warrior cats RP site; my first foray into rp proper was in pokemon rp on tumblr, my first muse was lyra but i didnt have an internet name until i picked up and settled into writing (you'll never guess who)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? kind of half answered this above oops, but with warrior cats i genuinely dont remember? i probably just googled warrior cats and wound up there HAHA. for pokemon...... honestly probably the same thing

How were you introduced to TOA? key had mentioned it to me in passing a few times, so i knew she was there, but it wasn't until my friend zyra mentioned it to me and suggested we write macedon siblings together again that i actually joined, hahaha

Do you have any pets? i do! i adopted a ?? year old dog from the shelter about six years ago, so now he's x+6 years old :] pretty sure he's some kind of border collie mix, but not certain! his name is tobin, but he'll answer as long as you say 'ob'. he's a sillyhead

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) it used to be winter because i love the snow! but as i get older and more harrowed by weather conditions, i appreciate how normal and not-trying-to-kill-me autum is HAHA

What is your IRL occupation? (finger guns) figuring it out

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? drawing was my first love! i like reading, especially comics, and writing; i like video games and immersing myself in stories, and have passing interests in things that i don't commit to trying out (like resin, charms, etc etc)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? FFXIV, mainly; genshin impact and hsr; various farming-ish sims (story of seasons + old harvest moon, stardew valley, rune factory, currently fields of mistria); to a lesser extent dragon age, ace attorney, various VNs / otome / rhythm games, pokemon until roughly scarlet/violet era and then my wallet couldnt keep up with it HSDFSGVSD

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: as a kid it waffled between fire / dark, but not sure i have a dead set favorite type anymore. favorite pokemon still lucario and appletun for sure though!

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) - i love christmas and thinking about gift giving! when i was in school my christmas spreadsheet hit like, 50 names HAHA nooooo way do i have that energy anymore, though - i'm reasonably fond of baking and also reasonably terrible at it! something always goes wrong but usually (usually) stuff comes out pretty tasty in the end. except for that time i set my oven on fire

How did you get into Fire Emblem? my friends were talking about how much fun they were having with the new game at the time, awakening! it looked fun so i decided to try it out

What Fire Emblem games have you played? - Beaten: Genealogy, Blazing Blade (FE7 if youre like me and still cant remember which one is which), Shadow Dragon & New Mystery, Awakening, Fates (Conquest + Birthright), Three Houses (Blue Lions) - Started: Binding Blade (FE6), Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance (FE9), Fates (Revelation), Shadows of Valentia, Three Houses (Black Eagles & Golden Deer), Engage

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: Awakening -- still Awakening! possibly tied with 3H, though. i really enjoy games where i can peacefully level grind

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! vaguely ordered, it's: Wolf, Maria, Cordelia, Seliph, Katarina...? if you think you're seeing a trend you're probably right, hahaha ^^ writing a character is an expression of love for me, so inevitably my muses climb higher and higher on my list over time

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! the clearest one i can remember is wolf, because when i was playing fe11 i was passively using him because he was pretty, and then he got 7 crits in a row and i was like :pika:

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳i'm weak toward green haired women AHSJASFDSF but actual game crushes, hmm... not sure!

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: chrom -> still chrom! - Fates: takumi -> hmm... silas or flora? - Three Houses: dimitri -> still dimitri, except now he's duking it out with yuri - Engage: i have the ring in my pocket as we speak, suffering from the burden of choice... probably diamant though?

Favorite Fire Emblem class? whatever class my blorbos thrive in

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? in all likelihood i'm a villager with just absolutely baffling AI. not entirely stupid, but you cant in good conscience say it's smart either HAHA as a playable unit though, i might be a recruit-type? i could do well if you help me grow, otherwise i'm just this scruffy shitty thing tucked into your pocket. middling-high skill growth, paper defense, and you wish you knew what my speed growth was because i don't (probably fast as a mage but realistically NOT as anything physical)

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) my heart says blue lions, but if i'm just some guy (unaffiliated civilian) i won't be surprised

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? - Boons: Reason - Banes: Authority, Gauntlets - Budding Talent: Flying

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) hmm... probably either Firene or Lythos! i'm too much of a weenie to be from brodia HAHA

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) toah, like noah! to all my xiv gamers out there this definitely applies to job shorthands too. durg. dirk. whum blum sidge. rurpur and rogg...

Current TOA muses: Maria & Katarina

Past TOA muses? Cordelia my beloved

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Maria! unless something unprecedented happens, i don't see that changing. writing her, her want and determination to love and find wonder in the world, to spread and be joy -- it just puts me in a good place! it's really, genuinely helped me a lot, even if her extroversion is exhausting to my introvert ass sometimes HAHA

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) uhhh... i definitely tend toward characters who are in some regard defined by a form of love or strong emotion, romantic though it need not be -- people who have some sort of powerful, aching tenderness in their heart. i've not really done as much as i've wanted in terms of bringing that out of them, but it's definitely something that draws me in to a character in the first place!

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? ooh, there are lots of characters i like who have a brusque edge or manner, who might be harsh or cold... i wish i could do that! i'd like to try, i think. and also the funny, energetic, boisterous types -- i love to see them and be around them, but i definitely can't pull it off hahaha

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) it's been a while since i've gone all in on this kind of scene, but i love emotional scenes and heart-to-hearts -- the sort of thing where you're communicating your feelings with everything you have and trying to reach someone else! i usually rein myself in well shy of that though, hahaha. i worry a lot about getting too lost in the sauce and derailing a conversation/thread, or making it all about what my muse/what they want to communicate.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? for katarina, i'd love for her to make some friends! she's her own worst enemy in this regard, separating herself from friends/friendships whether consciously or subconsciously. for maria... well, i'd love for her to have a real heart to heart with someone!

Favorite TOA-related memories? to this day i miss and adore annie's frederick! his dynamic with my cordelia at the time was so much fun to write and to talk about and we had such thoughts for how their relationship would evolve -- it's one of the most interesting and endearing relationships i've had the pleasure of writing! on a sillier note, i often think about leif hauling ass after kanoesa's lewyn HAHA

Present or past tense? it used to be past tense, but i think toa's successfully converted me to defaulting to present hahaha ^^;; consciously at least, i try to match whatever my partner does!

Normal size text, small text, no preference? it doesn't matter to me, but i do hate fighting tumblr to keep all of the small text small.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 the wolf app/blog i've been refining on and off for the better part of three years is no secret HAHA, but i've seriously contemplated writing a few other characters! radd and boucheron, to name a couple. i get super attached to my characters though, so it's a bit tricky

[odeliba]

someone sent this idea to @arsenalgbt and I decided to try my hand at it, so heres a tiny tiny tiny little drabble of the ben white stripper au !!! not great but I haven't written in a while and wanted to give it a shot

Ben shuffles through a stack of cash while a Kesha song plays through the walls in the main room, muffled enough that it's hard to tell which one it is exactly. A glance at the clock tells him he has a few more minutes to spare before he's back out for the second half of the night, so he grabs his phone and leans back against the wall. 

He’s rarely on his phone so it's not surprising when he opens it to see about a hundred messages, fifty missed calls, and just as many voicemails (an exaggeration really, but he's loath to actually count). 

The calls were mostly from his boss, Mikel, though he had gotten one from Kai too, likely telling him to call Mikel back. Always the teacher's pet. 

A text from the new guy whose name he chose not to remember, because honestly, the shitty tattoos and private dances were his thing, he really didnt need some hot foreign man coming in and taking all of his customers. 

One from his mother asking how his week had been- the only one he decides is deserving of a response. 

As he shuts his phone off, he hears the sound of the door to the break room opening, and looks up to see Reiss stampeding in, slamming the door in the face of a screaming woman. All dark skin and lean muscle, the younger man was probably the most tolerable of Ben’s coworkers. While Ben preferred the private dances, Reiss was all for the flair- costumes and dances up on stage, flirtations and advances on customers. Also seemingly favored by married men.

“You ever get sick of it?”

Ben blinks rapidly, taken off guard by the sudden question. Ben did the job for fun. He was chronically bored and he enjoyed having something to do with his nights other than lay lonely in his bed. Reiss did the job because he had to. He grew to enjoy it to a certain extent, yes, but he started because he had nowhere else to turn. A poor boy on the streets of London, constantly preyed on by those stronger. At least here he got payed for it. 

“I caught the flu from an elderly woman last week.” He says, turning to pack his stuff up, shoving his shirt off and into his bag, which went into his locker. When he turns back he sees Reiss still standing there, balls curled into fists. Okay, maybe not the time for a joke. 

He approaches the other man and places a hand on his shoulder, lowering his head to make eye contact. 

“Reiss, youre young. You have a lot of things left to do with your life. Make the money you need, then get out of here, yeah? You’re made for greatness. Just try not to punch any more customers.”

He flicks him on the forehead and walks to the door, pausing before heading out.

“If you don’t think you can stay the rest of the night, take some cash out of my bag and go home. Alright?”

He gets a nod in return before walking out of the door.

[sixosix]

Finally have a chance to throw my thoughts together! And boy do I have them!!

Just ahshshs- lyney you’re so smart and cunning but also pretty dense my guy. I’m so glad you have moral standards but the fact your first thought when thawed!reader wants to kiss you is that ‘oh she is just drunk, :(‘ as opposed to ‘Ah! I may actually have a slight chance’ says something. I know you’re basing your thoughts on imperfect information and past experiences but please- I’m begging you- I know you have a big brain please use it-

But honestly, my heart goes out to him. In his half of the pov his pinning is so clear to see. I’m willing to bet money that Lyney would just happily accept the fact that he can interact with t!reader on some sort of positive level again, no matter if he is just a friend forever because she’s back! She’s real again, not just rose-tinted memories and this silent secret between the twins and Freminet. He is going through these extra and at times inconvenient steps just to keep her safe, even going against his own desires (letting Childe keep an eye on her while he goes to father) and even against his own loyalties to an extent ( i mean, the sensible loyal fauti thing to do would be to immediately report that the previously awol/MIA solider was found, wouldn’t it? )

ALSO THE ‘MON LAPIN’ NICKNAME!?! So many thoughts AND feelings on that!! *insert the cork board meme*

It fits so well!! I looked up some rabbit information just to see and rabbits are so skittish! I checked it out and so many things can set them off- bad experiences, new lotion smell, smelling like a different animal like a cat!! Like they not recommended to be children pets cause you gotta be gentle. But they’re so active! Not to mention herbivores!! Lyney may not know the truth but I’m sure he knows where his gift was delivered too! Thawed reader is a rabbit confirmed.

Looking outside of lyney and t!reader’s interactions though, it’s always so interesting to see t!reader’s other interactions. The obvious joy she has when she realizes Lynette showed up, and Lynette’s instant care in asking if t!reader has anywhere safe to go to. The tense somewhat friendship forming between aether and her, where a slight misstep could mean destruction of her life but there’s enough going on for minor banter and to try and help recover from a hangover (the water, and my current guess is that is the reason why her drink is different at the end) and now the beginnings of co-conspirators between Childe and her; the former laughing and seems to be almost excited while the latter is even more tense and nervous because it’s about to get a whole lot more complicated

ALSO CHILDE! SMART MAN, SO GLAD YOU’RE IN THE KNOW! Welcome to the peanut gallery of lyney and t!reader’s relationship! Hope you enjoy the show! But now that childe is officially an active player in the story, it’s making me think about the current time line and how different it’s gonna go from the canon game. As of right now, the only confirmed event from the Fontaine archon/various other quests is Lyney and Lynette’s trial since Childe has yet to be accused of anything (so we can assume that the missing people case is still ongoing) and aether is specifically doing this to see if he can trust the twins (something you can argue about him realizing via/during Lyney’s story quest). Especially know with the knaves early arrival to push things along

I should stop myself at this point so imma just leave off with the fact Lyney is starting to feel something as wrong when faced with Childe at the party AND the fact that t!reader remembering a fair bit of what happened, but the key point being that’s it’s very blurry has me kicking and freaking out. It’s gonna get much more messy real soon.

-deadman aether anon

HI DEADMAN AETHER ANON!!! its so wonderful to have you back AND ITS SO WONDERFUL TO ME TO SEE THIS ASK I AAS LIKE WHOAAA HELL YEA

i didnt really think too much about the bunny nickname even i was so shocked by that info!! i just heard from my friend that its one of the common french nicknames—and i thought it fit because of lyneys whole magician thing,,, like magicians and rabbits…. BUT THATS SO COOL!!!! makes the nickname so deeper than whatbi initially thought 🙏🙏

AND YEAAHHH its definitely overwhelming for our mc to be exposed so suddenly to so many people who seem to be willing to be friends w her! its been rosalie and its only been Father before 😢

the canon game event is gonna be veeeerrryyy detached from the game bc im going to be ignoring it for the sake of not copying it and just inserting MC in. if i did that, THAWED woukd just be a longer version of my other fic, Sleight of Hand HAHAHA. either way, since im writing this before arlecchino’s official release, i think i might end up mischaracterizing her…..so im a bit nervous about that. i think in THAWED shes definitely going to be a bit more evil than what she might be in-game

[i-never-forgot]

remembered you saying something about dusknoir using his fame as a ruse to get his mission done before slowly growing more comfortable to the idea of being appreciated and not feared, and i still think about it from time to time.

from the way i see it, the whole desire and the idea of being loved and not feared makes dusknoir appear almost human, as humans thrive off of appreciation and validation. dusknoir thrived and almost indulged in the idea that he has something going on for in his life that he can actually.. be loved for. and that feeling is foreign to him, at first glance. for what his entire early life was, he was simply carrying out deeds and dirty work for primal dialga. he didn't need to be appreciated so long as he was kept alive and so long as he was *usuable*, because the world outside the crumbling frozen columns will tear him alive just as much as dialga would have.

and to suddenly come into a world where he can suddenly feel.. free, to an extent. yes, he is still bound to his role and his mission, and his whole popularity was just a comfortable cloak for him to go undetected under, it felt good. it felt good to be known for something good. it felt good.. to be loved.

and like all cloaks, he grew a tad too attached to the idea. he knew it would all go away the moment grovyle will be caught and he will have to return, but it felt.. nice. and even if he knew he was known for something he was not, he could indulge in it so long as it didnt kill him.

but to each indulge came the horrible achilles heel to his crippling desire to be loved; in the form of eliana. she feared him, and ran away from him. whereas everyone cheered for his name and presence, she backed away, like he was gonna do something to her. but thats where the issue was; he did not know why she was so afraid. and that served as some minor bruise to his desirable fantasy, where he was constantly trying to prove to her that he was just what everyone thought of him to be; because he was scared. he didn't want to be feared, he wanted to simply.. live. he wanted to be what he knew he was not, and his persistence to hold up onto that idea is what served as his fatal downfall.

oh, he showed her that he was nice, alright. they both indulged and basked in the warmth of the other, and they truly enjoyed the time they spent. he was the sun she tried to hide from, cradled in his arms open wide, and he was the merciless sun that was sent out to burn her. so blissfully unaware of the tragedy that was about to befall on them.

dusknoir's endeavours and delusions that he could ever be worthy of anyone's time, love and appreciation came crashing in the form of his betrayal, his denied demise and the life he was forced to live on and continue in. he betrayed the person whom he worked so hard to ensure her that he was no threat, only to prove her wrong as he was the one who sentenced her death. everyone now sees him for what he is, redeemed or not. even if grovyle and celebi see him as an ally, nothing stops him or them from seeing how much of a mistake that is. he cannot be loved, and he should not be loved. to be known is to be killed. to live is to hurt, and how can you live when all you have done is hurt?

SINNOH I AM SOBBING THIS IS SO GOOD

Dusknoir went into that role fully intending to abuse it. By the time he reaches Treasure Town, he has embraced it. He’s never felt such unadulterated adoration and sincere admiration in his life. It becomes addictive, like a drug, and that’s primarily what drives him to seek Eliana’s approval—to think anyone might be unjustly intimidated by him grieves him to a certain extent. He doesn’t want them to be afraid of him when they have no reason to. (Eliana did, but neither of them realized it for a long time.)

He has always found solace in being useful, but being able to do something good, compassionate even, is foreign but much more satisfying and affirming than reigning terror in the future. He knows he’ll have to let that idealization go, and that he will be dooming this world to paralysis with his mission, but he manages to hold himself distant to a certain extent—that these people aren’t necessarily real, since he’s never met them in the future, he can regard them as strangers—but Eliana changes that. He wants to get to know her, and that’s his downfall.

For the first time in his life he feels like he’s worth something when he wins her trust. Like he might be worthy of such a thing. He never has to tell her who he really is, the sins he’s committed—he can get their cooperation to capture Grovyle, depart for the future, and leave them all behind as a half-realized dream, an eventually forgotten but fond memory. He was going to deal with the grief of losing her when he got there—burn that bridge when he reached it. He saw everything he had ever wanted in her, and he was willing to endure the hurt if it meant that he could have a glimpse of a perfect world.

Then she revealed her identity—the ultimatum of the trust that he fought so hard to earn—and all of that unspooled before his very eye.

And if we're going to continue with the sun = Dusknoir motif (which I love), then I propose Eliana = the moon. She reveals herself in phases. He wants to see the effort he's shone reflected back at him, but when she reveals her fullness...it's blinding. He cannot endure it. Her adoration of him waned when he retreated, distancing himself an a vain attempt to preserve his resolution. And now she hangs dark and heavy, a void of the bond they once shared. If he ever hopes to coax out her glow again, he'll have to approach as gently and as slowly as possible.

It's a marvelous sight to see her wax to her fullest, though. And it is well worth the wait.

[peridyke]

I decided to watch Chainsaw Man and I'm in episode 9. I didnt expect to binge trough all the episodes ?? The opening and the endings animation are so good !! Also I get now why Himeno feels more morally gray than Makima even though Makima is the literal villain that can explode people. I didn't expect Denji to be 16 ?? And then Himeno vomits on his mouth and takes him to her home drunk and yeah. I felt super bad for him even though Makima did seduce him and is using him for her benefit, but she's like a lot more evil than Himeno so maybe thats it. Oh and the whole sequence of Makima using her powers was so good I was genuinely unnerved, I like that she doesnt have to be super scary in appareance except for her eyes and calm demeanor, actually i think her rather innocence look and soft voice adds to that disturbing feeling!

AHHHH THATS AWESOME i’m so glad people are watching chainsaw man based on my recommendations LOL i’m glad you’re enjoying it! god yeah himeno as a character is fascinating to me because in contrast to a character like makima who embodies this kind of deeper greater power she just feels so…real, you know what i mean? like, this woman is fucked up mentally from her job where she deals with constant death and grief and she copes through repression and substance abuse and sex and ends up not just hurting herself but the people around her. i worry this comes off bad because i completely understand people hating this aspect of her character and wishing it didn’t exist but she like…absolutely seems like the type of person to try and fuck a teen while dead drunk and not give that much of a shit in the morning lmao. it sucks cause denji being a kid just isn’t capable of understanding exactly what happened to him and can only really comprehend the more overly unpleasant parts of his time with himeno, which is like…yeah, that’s real. i would say that denji’s age is actually a really important aspect of chainsaw man because it is just another part of him that puts him further into this vulnerable position that makes him easy to manipulate and take advantage of, makima’s relationship to him being the biggest example of that but it’s something that pops up with other characters too. he’s an orphaned impoverished hungry teenager who was adopted into this world that he cant comprehend is taking complete advantage of him.

GOD makima’s scene where she kills the yakuza agents is fucking amazing and terrifying. it is the first time you really understand the extent and terror of her abilities and the lengths she is willing to go to, and that’s something that builds exponentially as the series goes on. i’m really excited for people who are just watching the anime to see how chainsaw man’s story unfolds and i’m also thrilled to see the rest of the action in the series animated. makima’s supposed innocence and gentle demeanor is something that i think is a really compelling part of her character and is essential to making her as effective as she is. there is this sense of danger and dread with her but it’s hard not to get pulled in and captivated, like a prey animal being hypnotized my a predator. honestly i think it’s cool that her eyes have that hypnotic look to them because it symbolizes the effect she has on people.

sometimes i think i can kinda give perhaps a bit of a warped perception of chainsaw man LOL because it is genuinely a really awesome series with some very morally gray characters and terrifying villains, i’m just also a lesbian who is not immune to hot girls ghfhfjghf even knowing how terrible everything that’s happening is it’s so hard not to be like GOD i wish that were me

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

hms captain??

hms captain indeed!!

i meant for this to be a short post but oops its really long already and im nowhere near finished so if you wanna learn about this terribly designed warship, join me after the cut; if you dont, enjoy this picture of an oddly designed ship.

the hms captain was a british warship. it was built during a time where shipbuilders were phasing sails out for steam engines, and where warships were being much better armoured. for example, the hms captain was steam-powered with two propellers and had wrought iron armour.

wrought iron armour caused a problem for warships. like think of any pirate media youve seen where theyve got wooden ships with these iron cannonballs; the cannonballs very easily breach the wooden ships. they dont really do that with iron armour. instead, they bounced off.

so the british admiralty, media and public were all in want, to some extent, of a ship with better guns that could breach ship armour. enter cowper phipps cole:

a man who looks like a rasputin prototype and seems to have the charisma to back up the comparison.

see coles was very good at public engagement. when he needed to, he could very easily get the media and public on his side, which is a power he leveraged in order to get hms captain approved, commissioned and built.

his design, oddly enough, goes back to a raft from the crimean war.

this is the lady nancy, constructed in 1855 to aid during the siege of taganrog. it was for shore bombardment which you can see in this illustration of it. while cameras were a thing back then (i think daguerreotypes existed during this time), i dont believe we have any photos of the lady nancy.

coles was a captain in the navy in 1855, and him and a group of sailors constructed it. according to those there, the guns on the raft were protected by some kind of dome structure or a "cupola" as they called it.

hms captain was inspired by the lady nancy, and so, it was also intended for shore bombardment. for this purpose, two big fuck off rotating turrets were mounted inside the hull on the gun deck.

these had been patented by coles himself in 1859 which is partly how he became a consultant for the admiralty when it came to building ships. being the nephew of admiral lord edmund lyons 1st baron lyons gcb gcmg kch, by marriage, twice over certainly also helped.

quick note on that:

its not technically incest, i think, his wife emily pearson was lyons niece and his mom is the sister of lyons wife augusta

i also didnt know what those acronyms meant beforehand, gcb is a british order of chivalry called most honourable order of the bath, gcmg is another one: most distinguished order of saint michael and saint george, kch is a hanoverian order of chivlary called royal guelphic order. yeah thats just gobbledegook.

lyons was important because of his role in the crimean war as commander-in-chief of the mediterranean fleet (suddenly i feel like im reading an icemav fic) and hes credited as ensuring victory for britain.

originally, the admiralty just ordered prototypes of his big fuck off turrets and they were actually impressed with them.

and so the hms prince albert was built with four of them (is that four turrets in your pants or are you just happy to see me) and the hms royal sovereign was converted to be a turret ship. both, however, could only operate as coastal service vessels.

hence, the admiralty allowed coles to draw up plans for a two (2) turret oceangoing ship in 1863, working with nathaniel barnaby who was chief constructor for the navy. keep in mind, coles had little to no experience in ship design.

then, they suspended the project.

but they allowed him to work on a one (1) turret oceangoing ship that was based on the hms pallas with joseph scullard who was head draughtsman in 1864.

and then in 1865, a committee rejected/cancelled his projects, and decided to move forward with a different design for a two (2) turret ship called hms monarch.

this made coles very angry, and an angry coles is not a good thing for the british admiralty.

(i spent an hour making this because im so bad at making things look purposefully bad)

so you know like today where bad actors like andrew tate, tucker carlson, joe rogan and even like graham hancock can just use public platforms and social medias to get a relatively large portion of the population of their side, seemingly with ease, just by talking/communicating confidently, playing into fears and anxieties of the public, and creating an us and them?

yeah so cowper phipps coles was also really good at this. grifters, liars and pretenders have alway existed.

(milo rossi brings discusses this a lot in his series on hancock's ancient apocalypse docuseries, and id 100% recommend the whole series.)

so how did coles do this?

well, he began with a very strong and very harsh attack on robert spencer robinson who was a vice admiral and controller of the navy, and his full title was admiral sir robert spencer robinson kcb frs.

the title admiral sir is very funny, like i want to get a cat called that with the nickname addy. kcb is basically the same as gcb. lyons was general grand cross and robinson was knight commander, because of fucking course its this stupid. frs is an award given to you from the royal society of london; the fellowship of the ring royal society is granted to those who have made a "substantial contribution to the improvement of natural knowledge, including mathematics, engineering science, and medical science".

it wasnt just mr admiral sir that coles attacked; he also attacked several other admirals who were on the committee but he really seemed to hate robinson. coles also lobbied parliament and the press, focussing on the flaws he saw in monarchs design and how britain was going to be left behind in the shipping arms race since many other nations were pressing ahead with several oceangoing turret ships. unsurprisingly, it was the united states that were winning the race so far.

around this time, coles' contract as a navy consultant was terminated in january 1866. like thats as hard as he was going, he fully lost his job. of course he had his dear not-quite-incest uncle lord lyons to fall back on. one hell of a safety net, very well entwined.

in response to this professional fuck you, coles simply protested that he had been misunderstood and the man must have rolled a nat 20 on his charisma saving roll because on the 1st march 1886, he was re-employed.

he waited a month and a half to submit his critique of the monarch proposal on the 16th april. he refused to publicly support a vessel that didnt represent his "views of a sea going turret-ship" because He Was Like That™. we're in the cowper karen era. his critique went on to say that hms monarch could not give his "principle a satisfactory and conclusive trial."

now at this point, the admiralty really should have just sent him packing. theyve given him chance after chance after chance despite him having pretty much no experience.

like say you have a blocked toilet that you cant unblock, but instead of calling a plumber, you ask your friends nephew whos an art curator who really wants to give this plumbing thing a go. then his first attempt makes it worse; now the taps in your bath turn on everytime you use the kitchen sink and your toilets still blocked. but you give him another go and now theres a shower curtain stuck in your toilet which is still blocked. and now youre fingers are hovering over the call button on a plumbers number when your friend calls and asks you to give their nephew another go. its only been three weeks and theres a 24 hours mcdonalds up the road that you can go to for the bathroom and youve got a shower at work you can use, so you think, okay, sure. and then he accidentally rips your kitchen sink out and you still have a blocked toilet and a non-working shower and your bath taps are running 24/7, and your friend asks you again to give him a "second chance."

like youre not giving him another chance, theres a goddamn shower curtain in your toilet and your kitchen sink is in your fucking living room. of course, youre not giving him another chance.

but say everyone in your street and everyone in your friend group is on his side because hes been telling little lies and charming them all with his aunts baked goods and his knowledge of local art and history. and everyone else is rooting for him and they all believe this is the chance.

thats the situation first naval lord admiral frederick grey (full title: admiral the hon. sir frederick william grey gcb) found himself in. obviously coles should not be given another chance, but the whole country believes he should.

so on the 21st april (thats me moms birthday :)) he agreed that coles should be allowed to build his "perfect" oceangoing turret ship.

and so the hms captain was born

the ship was to be built on a private shipyard and coles selected laird brothers' chesire yard on the 8th may 1866.

one of the biggest problems ship designers had with turret ships is that ships tend to have quite a lot of rigging that gets in the way of the turrets. this was a genuine design flaw for the hms monarch, it was brought up by the chief designer sir edward james reed kcb rfs, but he was overuled. he didnt think a turret ship should have either a forecastle or poop deck.

on a typical warship, youll see a small rise on either end of the ship. at the front/bow, you have the forecastle which was typically used as a defensive measure. at the back/stern, youd typically have the captain quarters within the hull and the roof of that is the poop deck. it would be used for either the captain or a helmsman or a first mate maybe to supervise the crew and their work.

reed, very correctly, did not want these measures because they interfered with the turrets. he also wanted much less rigging because the more wooden beams and rope and sail youve got, the less room the turrets have to fire.

he wrote that "the middle of the upper deck of a full-rigged ship is not a very eligible place for fighting large guns."

and coles and the lairds seemed to agree with this sentiment because their design corrected these flaws.

their solutions were to erect a hurricane deck to place the rigging on. this is an upper deck that is above the frame of the hull. they also used tripod masts to reduce rigging. they also placed the turrets within the hull in their own special gun deck.

now, just because youve corrected for some flaws doesnt mean you havent introduced several of your own which spoiler, the captain had a lot of flaws which we will be getting into.

captain had a length of 320ft or 97.54m; she had a beam (width at the widest part) of 53ft3 or 16.23m; her draught (the distance between the waterline and the keel/bottom of the hull) was 24ft10 or 7.57m; and her top speed was 15 knots which is about 17mph.

in a futile attempt at a balanced view, i will say that the speed was fairly impressive. most other ships had top speeds of 10-12 knots or about 11-14mph. the use of double propellers was a good choice.

one of the very few good choices.

see the captain was designed to displace or essentially weigh 6910 long tons, and was expected to have a freeboard of about 8ft or 2.4m.

a ships freeboard is the distance between her exposed upper deck and the waterline. typically, warships have high freeboards. its not quite as simple as the higher the freeboard, the more stable your ship is, but in general, higher freeboards do offer more stability. this is something the captain needed

see, most of her weight was high up in the ship which meant she had a low metacentric height. to not get into all of the complicated science that im not entirely sure i understand (dyspraxic nation rise up), lower metacentric heights tend to make ships more unstable.

[from wikipedia:]

so all of this is a bad design. apart from her impressive speed, she seemed like a ship with poor stability and a real risk of flooding because of the exposed gun decks. and with flooding, you might just fucking capsize 🚢⬆️↗️↘️🌊☠️

mr admiral sir robert spencer robins already raised concerns at the design stage in regards to the low freeboard and flooding. reed also raised concerns about the ship being too heavy and having too high a centre of gravity, but they were ignored.

if i had a nickel for every time edward james reed was overruled after raising a legitimate concern about the design of a turret ship, id have two nickels, but its weird its happened twice.

still, first lord of the admiralty (genuinely feel like this is a made up job) sir john pakington approved the design on the 23rd july 1866, though he did note that coles and the lairds would be held responsible for any failures.

if youre interested, john pakingtons full title is john somerset pakington 1st baron hampton gcb pc frs and he was a fucking tory, and the right honourable lord hampton, which okay, dude, you overcompensating for anything over there? pc means he was a member of his majestys most honourable privy council, who are all advisors yes-men to whichever bellend is on the crown.

moving past that cag-mag of a man, lets talk about how this mess got even worse. and you might be asking, "kai, how can it get worse? havent you already told me that the ship can easily sink?"

and you know, fair point, but you can always make your ship even more likely to sink.

see coles came down with an illness during the building of the ship. im not sure what it was; i cant find anything on it, but whatever it was, it meant he couldnt supervise the building of his ship. now, im not sure how much that would help considering he was the art curator turned amateur plumber in the metaphor, but maybe it would have done some good.

because when she was finished, she did not displace 6910 long tons. no, she displaced 7767 long tons. and her 8ft freeboard turned into a 6ft6 or 1.98m freeboard. she was floating 22 inches deeper than expected. oh, and her centre of gravity raised by 10 inches!

reed didnt just raise hell over this, he dragged heaven down too. and its not like he was wrong. the ship was a floating disaster.

hms captain had an angle of list of 21°. this means of she listed 21° or more, she would capsize.

now, theres no real average angle of list, but most people would say 40-50° as a reasonable yardstick. for some vessels, it might dip into the 30s°, but 21° is a ridiculously low angle of list.

for reference, this is a 20° angle.

its not much of an angle, is it?

and remember, the captain is meant to be an oceangoing vessel. the oceans dont exactly have a reputation for being calm.

unless youve got a direct telegram to poseidon and are in a place where you can ask him to calm down, the captains not gonna have fun.

and of course when reed raised his concerns, he was overuled.

if i had a nickel for every time edward james reed was overruled after raising a legitimate concern about the design of a turret ship, id have three nickels, and its kinda concerning that its happened three times.

instead, she was commissioned on the 30th april 1870 under captain hugh talbot burgoyne vc. to commission a ship is simply to place it into active service. also vc simply means burgoyne received the victoria cross whatever that one is.

anyway, she underwent several trials in the months after this and i guess everyone had pre-ordered their rose-coloured glasses because the captain won many supporters and was considered everything that coles had promised.

part of these trials were the gunnery trials. these took place in vigo and the captain was against both hms monarch and hms hercules, a non-turret ship. their target was a 600ft long, 60ft high rock. they each had 5 minutes of continuous firing.

all three ships had problems with aiming after the first few shots because the smoke emitted from the weapons meant they couldnt fucking see anything.

still, hms hercules had an accuracy rate of 65%, while hms monarch came in with a 40% rate and hms captain limped in with a 35% rate.

and im not just using "limped" as an exaggeration, these trials showed that when the turrets fired, it caused the ship to list and the list was 20°.

im sure you can see the problem there.

if you can, youre better than the admiralty who just ignored it and was like fantastic, she works. coles straight up had the entire admiralty hostage and the only person speaking up was reed.

if i had a nickel for every time edward james reed was overruled after raising a legitimate concern about the design of a turret ship, id have four nickels, which is great and all but id rather give reed a hug at this point.

-

now the 35% accuracy didnt really matter if the captain was going to be used for shore bombardment. most of the time, youre not aiming for anything specific, youre just trying to cause as much damage as possible.

but that 20° list? that mattered.

it mattered a lot because on the 7th september 1870, she capsized.

shocking i know. only five months after being commissioned and everything.

that day, she was running trials in the bay of biscay during a storm when she was hit by a gale of wind. she rolled over and capsized.

there were over 500 people on board and only 18 survived. coles was among the dead. i hope their souls were able to find peace.

theres a memorial for them in st paul's cathedral in london if youd ever like to pay your respect to them.

now theres not much else to say about the captain other than the inquiry into the sinking blame the public for it.

they concluded that "the captain was built in deference to public opinion expressed in parliament and through other channels, and in opposition to views and opinions of the controller and his department" and this was pretty significant in victorian britain as it was unprecedented.

but realistically, it wasnt wrong. they were the ones backing coles the whole time.

so i guess if theres something to learn from this mess, its that if youre going to support a public figure, whether it be a celebrity or politician or scientist or whatever, take a step back and ask yourself "do i agree with what theyre saying or are they just very good at talking?"

im sure someones said it better than me, but you know, that sentiment. we can also laugh at how much of a disaster hms captain was.

[turtlemagnum]

i think my first exposure to AI art might've been this video where somebody was testing out this new, weird thing where they automatically generate a song using AI, and i couldnt help but feel that it was an indictment of the modern music scene that a goddamn computer could effortlessly and accurately replicate the generic swill that passes for popular music nowadays. didnt have a vocalist synthesized yet but those have been becoming a thing too, or so i hear.

i saw a little article about how the newer generations of gamers are turning more and more to retro games. as somebody technically belonging to the "newer generations" this felt self evident, as frankly most of the gaming i do nowadays is almost invariably in an emulator. i think that to a certain extent, most of the best mainstream games that are going to be made already have been, at least for the forseeable future of major developers with games made scientifically perfect for milking you for the most money possible rather than as an art form. im sure it's all gonna collapse in on itself eventually, from what i hear some of the older folks who lived through more than i have we've been here before. hell, pretty much anybody who cares even a bit about gaming history knows first and foremost about the gaming crash of the early 80s, mostly spurred on by the temporal equivalent of modern cheap asset flip garbage that floods most stores these days. it's hard not to feel like we're about to see a massive crash yet again, with the ones inheriting the earth being the little fellas, and of course nintendo. which, makes sense, their earliest history is of weathering shit just like this, of course they'd know when to spot enshittification and stay clear of it. i'm in no way saying that nintendo is exempt of being a shitty corporation, but i will say that from a business standpoint they're one of the only ones i know of that actually seem to understand the idea of sustainability on a broad scale. hell of a lot better than the likes of activision, thats for damn sure. but back to what i was actually trying to get at before i adhd tangent'd, i think it makes a lot of sense that when the majority of the shit being put on the market is corporatist, design by comittee, prefab trash with aggressive monetization and a consistent attitude of fixing any problems in patches, it makes a hell of a lot of sense that we'd go back to our roots. NES mario is the same as its ever been, has been for over 30 years, and will be in another 30. you dont gotta worry about them patching it to make it actually function as advertised, or patching it from being something you enjoyed into something you hate, or having fomo marketing based microtransaction bullshit. the most that's gonna change is that every now and again, nintendo will make the only version they give not have flashing lights for epileptic folks, or patch out mike tyson because he sucks and replace him with a white guy, and the white guy's less hard but thats ok because it's still pretty hard, and either way it's a good game, fun, and you can still find the original on rom sites and also probably ebay if you dont have a vpn but do have a disposable income, so dont worry about it. getting sidetracked again, ANYWAYS-

what i wanted to get at is that i wonder if we're gonna see a similar resurgence in other old kinds of media just like, in general, for the mainstream. like why watch the 22nd reboot of ghost busters when the originals are right there. king crimson's still good, why dont you listen to them instead of bemoaning how your new favs are problematic, even though i dont think fripp can reclaim the fag slur (im gay, i can it's fine). i've recently been watching fist of the north star and original dragon ball, ilike the m. there are books. lots of those, actually,. you can read em! if you have the attention span. i honestly think we might be seeing more and more of this, now that im looking out for it. like i see just like, random people mention how much they like prog rock or 1930s dracula. relatively normals talk about how they like lemon demon these days. those stupid aestheticized classic anime accounts on twitter get sososo many likes. can you tell im sleep deprived writing this? i can, and im writing thjis. im writing this SO HARD. send poast.