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fallenhunnyapple · 8 months ago

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@ilikelookingatthings left a very long and question filled essay about Angel!Lu AU in the replies so now its time to delve into More Info about the AU! @fallenguitarhero is my Adam so I got his input for all the Adam-related parts of this. Under a cut because.... this is Very Long LOL (bonus art at the end)

I'm going to just Copy-Paste the answers I got when we discussed it

I do think that Adam actually subconsciously shifts blame to Lilith because he's very black and white in his views. He hates devil Luci but he thinks he can prevent angel Lu from going down that path if he just keeps them apart. Lute also believes this and ngl her view of Lilith is like...really awful internalized misogyny type shit. Both of them think its better the two never meet and Lute outright threatens Lilith to stay away. Adam is too possessive to try and shift Lu to someone else but he does like... try to push Lu back into friendship type feels. Adam is a dumbass about sexuality so he thinks if he brings Lu to do Masculine and Straight things it will fix this. Instead he ends up just spending even more time with him and making it worse. As for his trauma... yeah Adam tries to hide it. Mostly by changing the subject and acting like an asshole tbh. I've thought abt Lu finding out about Cain and Abel p much by mistake (maybe saw artwork of it, all the hell related stuff is hidden but they wouldnt think to hide art of Adam holding Abel's body or Cain's exile) and it breaking his little baby heart. Adam def has moments where like... his mind is busy w something else like a bad day or a nightmare and for a second he sees the devil instead of his angel. Adam always like... 'shit, sorry, i thought you were someone else- fuck, don't look at me like that, c'mon.' There are other issues he just... doesn't realize he needs to hide. They're right about Adam being cynical and like... telling himself Lu doesn't really love him. Even once they date, he's still insecure. At that point i think he'd tell Lu about Lilith leaving him for a friend of his (whose name he never gives) and his marriage with Eve ending badly. He avoids details. He prob talks way more about his kids and prob even introduces Lu to them... Lu being around might encourage him to work on his relationship with them. Adam's body dysmorphia is such a contrast from the Adam Lu knew before... i do think that with him hiding so much from Lu, he tries to make it up to him by making sure his life is perfect. He goes out of his way to keep his angel happy and his attitude spreads to his exorcists who accept Lu into their flock. tbh Adam's dynamic with them prob becomes way healthier over time due to Lu's influence. i think Adam does tell the truth about some things but leaves out the details. Like he says evil found earth and destroyed Eden but says it hurts too much to talk about it (not a lie) and tells Lu that it's why the exorcists exist, they protect heaven and the dead humans from it. Which is what the official story is anyway! i think Lu prob has the same info the average low ranking Heavenborne and winners do. If Lu pushed him too much Adam might admit there are things he can't tell him but frame it as a military thing - there are things only Michael, Adam and the high ranking exorcists can know. He feels a lot of guilt about lying. it weighs on him a lot. that and the stress of protecting Lu from his brothers honestly makes Adam act more subdued and tired than canon Adam. His eyebags are awful. It prob becomes obvious as time goes on that Adam is Not Well. He keeps his mask on for a looong time after the first time bc it helps him hide his feelings and self-regulate but when he finally takes it off it's obvious to Lu from how he looks that Adam is struggling mentally. Comparing him to how he looked in Eden makes it so clear.

For Lu's part of things. Of course he'd ask about Lilith. Especially after finding out that so long has passed and Adam is here, so Lilith is probably here too, right? I feel like because he missed... So much, the concept of Death to him still doesn't really sink in. Like even with the Sins, it's basically like he just Knows he can't See them again. So with Lilith its like Adam has to just lie the same as with Anyone else from Hell. And Lu is definitely heartbroken about Lilith being Gone.

And like, at the time, Adam isn't lying so he doesn't feel Guilty about it, he just feels bad seeing Lu so upset. The timeline of this is kinda indeterminate but it definitely is Earlier than the 7 years of Lilith being in Heaven. So when he first Appears, she hasn't left Hell yet. Who knows, Charlie may not have even been born yet at that point. There's no Solid point in Time for Lu to have appeared in Heaven, it's just... Earlier. He doesn't think to Look for her because he knows that if she's Not Already There, then she's Inaccessible. Otherwise Adam would have told him, he's sure of it. (Adam has no obligation to tell Lu when Lilith does get there and for the reasons stated above + the fact that the Elder Angels probably would try and deter any interaction between the two. he's left in the Dark about her arriving in Heaven. He doesn't know Adam has even made a Deal with anyone) He still misses her because Adam is Truly the only friend from When he's from left.

And tbh the mixed signals are what keeps Hope Alive for Lu. As much as he tries to be okay with friendship, he still wants more because he's In Love and Adam is the only thing that makes him feel Normal when his entire life and everything he knew was entirely up-ended. It's why he's so passive about it. He doesn't want to make Adam feel bad, but he sees Adam being so Conscious of him now and it makes him happy. He doesn't wanna Push it, but he still likes seeing that Adam is Aware of him like that now. Especially because it's not in a way where Adam is trying to push him away, Adam is actively spending more time with him!

The longer time passes, the more discontent Lu grows. Knowing he's being lied to/that things are being hidden, even by Adam, he is Curious and he wants to learn more. But he also isn't going to be reckless about Learning More. The thing is also he Doesn't Know what questions he should be asking. He could ask Winners things and get answers, its not like anyone would stop him from Talking to Winners, its part of his Job. But like... How would he even start to figure out what's Missing in his knowledge?

Also Lu is definitely Aware of how different Adam is from his Eden self. Like just Visually, it's so easy to separate them because Adam wears his mask. But when its just the two of them and Adam is maskless, Lu may be more susceptible to treating him like that. But he's also very aware of the fact that actually their Knowledge Base is completely flipped. Lu hardly knows anything and Adam knows Everything.

And like.... Lu Knows that being kept in the dark is probably 'for his own good' but as stated, the person who fell is Still him. So now instead of resenting/being upset that Humans were kept in the dark, now it's himself. There's no Fruit That Will Fix Things for him though. He's just left frustrated at his lack of agency in this. And honestly, what keeps in line Most is Fear. Since coming to this time, his family has been Nicer to him, he's actually getting along to some degree with his brothers who used to ridicule him (or worse) and he Knows it's only because he's 'behaving' now, now that Creation is over and Life Has Existed. And he's scared or what will happen if he steps too out of line. He doesn't have the refuge of going to Eden to visit the Humans if things go south with his siblings. He isn't allowed on Earth, he's confined to Heaven, so he would just be stuck with the same sort of things that ultimately drove him originally to commit the Sin of giving Eve the Apple (not that he's Aware of how it culminated) And Also he has Adam. He doesn't want to know what the consequences would be if they were to decide that they shouldn't be allowed to stay together. It would absolutely break him.

If Lu were to find out about the exterminations, he'd be just as Appalled by it as Emily was. Lu doesn't know about Sin, what that entails, how Sinners destroy everything. He hasn't had to live with it so he can't see any contempt or justification for their destruction. Lucifer hates them because they came in a ruined the world he tried to build in Hell. Lu doesn't have any such associations with them. He would just see them much like Charlie does, souls who made mistakes and who should be given the chance to Do Better and make up for it. (That's sort of what he is, in a way, too.) He would absolutely be upset and scold the fuck out of Adam and Lute if he knew what his besties were REALLY doing once a year-

As for the sexual stuff, Both Lucifers started without having a concept of sex or sexuality, so both of them are specifically shaped by their partners (literally in a way). So the Lucifer who learned and explored with Lilith is going to be completely different from the Lucifer who learned and explored with Adam in terms of How they have sex. It's a skill they learn by doing, so it's not the Same.

Thank you for sticking it out this long, have a doodle for your troubles 🙏

#hazbin hotel #adamsapple #guitarduck #adam x lucifer #lucifer x adam #angel!lu au #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel ada #hazbin adam #my art

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altermay · 1 year ago

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Tw/ transphobia, discussions of dysphoria, brief mention of suicide, descriptions of child abuse

Getting unbearable. Feeling sick. Started working to afford hormones only to find out the service that is most accessible to me (plume) doesnt offer T in alabama anymore due to changing laws. Fuck all these stupid politicians putting their noses in others lives.

Thought people at work wouldnt make a super huge deal, as I was selective with who I told, so i thought maybe I could hold out a bit longer and at least i wouldnt have to feel so dysphoric all the time, since all my coworkers knew me as Monte. But then instead of my name, people who would usually call anyone else by their name started calling me “Miss” and “maam”

Even the ones I had come out to, and even the ones who told me they were accepting.

Whatever, im from a small rural area, so transphobia is not new to me, what is new to me, however, is being openly trans in an unfamilliar environment. I thought I could start T quickly and maybe people would ever forget that im trans in the first place, but now its been so long.

Some people call me He, and use the right pronouns, but increasingly lately Ive received a myriad of transphobia.

Being called tranny loudly while my coworker kicks my broom as I try to sweep (kicking hard enough for the broom to almost leave my hands and hit another person behind me) , Getting called “it” behind my back. Stuff like this is becoming more common.

The two coworkers who called me it, have been spreading lies about my work performance these past five days, Ive been told my three different people that every time I leave to go do something they start talking badly of me. So I got to my breaking point, at this point it had nothing to do with the pronouns, I was just upset that two forty+ year old adults were purposefully making my job harder to do while I was also struggling with a ton of other stuff (ptsd, seasonal depression, a family members recent suicide) and so I couldnt stop crying.

Despite this situation having nothing to do with me being trans, they are now trying to spread the narrative that Im just being sensitive because they were misgendering me while they were borderline bullying me.

If I was not trans, people would take me seriously on these issues. But now, because I am upset, suddenly Im just a stereotype. A sensitive trans person who is offended because someone used the wrong pronouns a few times.

I will be one to say, I do not give a SHIT about my pronouns. Ive been called the wrong ones my whole life by a majority of people. That was never the issue. But because Im trans, that is the only issue people can perceive for me to have. The ONE issue I had with them regarding my pronouns was them calling me “it” and thats not because its the wrong pronoun, thats because its DEHUMANIZING.

But now I have other coworkers who know NOTHING about the situation saying shit like “well if she claims shes a man maybe she should suck it up” “well if she wants to be seen as a man maybe she shpuld cut her hair”

Fuck you. How about YOU get beaten for 17 years, YOU watch your siblings get beaten near to death for 17 years. YOU have flashbacks of things you dont understand all day every day and we will see how fucking well youre able to “suck it up” you are WEAK. YOU ARE ALL WEAK. And you dont know what its like to be me. My mother tried to kill me. My mother almost killed my sister, I was neglected, never went to a doctor, and I STILL dont know how to take care of myself. And I still havent recovered all of the memories.

Ive had SHORT HAIR ive had LONG HAIR Ive had a MOHAWK, ive had a BUZZCUT ive been BALD. And people STILL fucking saw me as a woman. Im tired of conforming to this bullshit just so people can treat me the same as they always do

Fun fact though, since Ive had long hair Ive been gendered correctly by strangers MORE than I have with ANY OTHER HAIR STYLE.

These stupid fucking transphobes and their stupid fucking stereotypes im so fucking sick of it all. And corporate wont do anything about it, Im sure of this.

Why is it so hard for me to just live my fucking life.

Im so sick of it all

#vent #tw vent #tw transphobes #transphobes #transphobia #tw suicide mention #suicide mention #abuse #child abuse #neglect #tw abuse

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secondchoice-ragdoll · 5 months ago

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Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

#tumblr deleted the seco d half of this so i had to rewrite it..... fun!#im so fucking sleepy i cant tell if this is coherent or spelled correctly so ill doublecheck tomorrow sorry😭#i was having a thought.

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deyanirahayes · 11 months ago

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idk man this is the only social media that i have no ties to anyone on and i just need to vent/rant/ whatever bc the unsent project only allows 100 characters and i have so many emotions that i will get lectured at if i post somewhere ppl will see it.

i am fine. not happy. not good. just fine.

i miss a life that i never had. something i have learned over the years ive been alone is how much i love to run. anytime anything in my life gets hard i do whatever i can to run away from it. ill change my name, hair, style, house, friends, ANYTHING to forget that version of myself and that time of my life. i have never had a strong sense of self, i dont know who i am or what i stand for. its funny, my mother may have been wrong about so much but she was right about that.

i have done horrible things. everyday when theres a pause in the chaos i remember. i hate it. no matter what i change, the memories remain.

ive gotten better at taking accountability. ive gotten better at just making the right decisions in the first place. what might be the easy choice is rarely ever the right answer. my brain is sick, but other people shouldnt have to suffer because of it.

i started taking my meds regularly again. its not easy and i feel empty but if thats what keeps the people i love safe then ill do it over and over again. i still remember the last message he ever sent me. he really was trying even after everything.

i catch myself missing him often. its not fair; its actually incredibly selfish. things were not good. we were awful together because of me. i wonder if we had met later on, maybe things wouldve been different.

i doubt it. he was my first true love. if it wasnt with him it wouldve been someone else. thats how i know deep down i was the issue all along.

overall im fine. there is nothing special about me. anyone on the street wouldnt give me a second glance. i no longer feel pride in being "brutally honest". ive learned thats nothing but an excuse for being mean. i just dont see the world like i used to. i am not better than anyone else. i dont need to be.

im glad that im working on being better. im just sorry it happened too late. i couldve been so much more.

nostalgia is a funny thing. i am in love with my past. maybe its because in the end ill always be more comfortable in chaos. maybe its because im scared ill forget the things ive truly loved.

i still write about him. not music. its more poetry. music is alive. everything about him is dead now. like ink on parchment.

in the end, i really want him to know he was what changed me. im glad i no longer cringe away from mirrors. im glad i dont see her in my reflection anymore. he always did feel obligated to fix what was broken. i just wish my brokenness didnt cut into him as deep as it did.

i dont love him. i dont hate him. i just want to be free of who i was when i was with him. but thats the price of destruction.

#letters i can’t send

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notacatdown · 7 days ago

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SHOW US THE CLEAVAGE!!!!!!!

Lol, I went to look at hot springs scene in Moonlight (Esther and Ding Yu played the main leads in that too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4irlIqyd8xY. There is a scene of Miaomiao taking Mu Sheng to her giant indoor bath in the novel.

in all seriousness, i dont? think he had any direct cut or anything on his chest during the fight? so its interesting that she goes to pull his shirt??? also, miaomiao what is wrong with you? LOL. who just starts looking down someones shirt?!

Oh, I totally missed the continuity error that he wasn't hurt there. I like to think Miaomiao is proving us with fan service at Mu Sheng's expense =).

I love the scenes where Miaomiao notices he's flustered from something she said or did. Sort of related, have you seen the video of their apple bunny photoshoot? The second half is so cute. https://m.weibo.cn/detail/5102740008601829#&video

i did watch an interview where esther states, during that scene, "she saw her dad die, she didnt want to see someone else die. also, it was someone she considered a friend, so why would she want him to die? and… she was also afraid she wouldnt be able to go home. all those emotions put together made her cry. its not necessarily love."

That makes so much sense. At the beginning the novel, Mu Sheng almost goes through with killing Miaomiao a few times, but every time, he stops. This experience give Miaomiao confidence in herself that she can talk her way out of anything when it comes to Mu Sheng and trust in him that he wouldn't go through with it. The drama changed it to, she has infinite respawns. She has only succeeded once in changing his mind. The drama glosses it over, how can she have romantic feelings for someone that has repeatedly killed her.

For me, he has dug a very deep hole for himself, and it make sense that she wouldn't have romantic feelings for him until he is very nice to her for a while.

goddammit miaomiao.

miaomiao you feel guilty because youre playing with his feelings! you KNOW hes starting to like you and thats the whole goal, but you just lied to him, are proceeding to confuse him even more, when its obvious hes struggling a lot internally.

While part of me wants to say noooo, Miaomiao, why did you chicken out, I get it. I think she says something meaningless because she feels guilty and doesn't want to lead him on further. Its because she recognizes how serious he's being and that he's starting to like her that she feels guilty. If he's being an ass to her, she can treat him like a capture target not a person.

I agree that rationally she shouldn't lie to him unless she's willing to give up her goal.

I don't think Miaomiao ever thinks about the morality of this again in the drama, but let me know if I'm wrong. In the novel, she begins to feel guilty when she starts seeing him as a person instead of a book character. They're at the bickering friends stage, and she's plotting to get him to fall for her because of the system. She stops feeling guilty once she admits she's in love with him.

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I was disappointed that he says he feels the demonic power is increasing, but nothing happens with this. He never seems like he's struggling against bloodthirst.

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It's a mistranslation. He asks, what are you doing in [this] room again?

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ding yuxi did so much work with all of his expressions this episode alone he deserves an oscar. i couldnt even use all the screenshots i wanted, but trust me, the RANGE IS THERE. he made sure we knew exactly how ziqi was feeling. holy moly. i picked him apart like peeling sunburnt skin.

As always, thank you for capturing so many well-timed screenshots and your analysis of what their expressions and body movements mean!

Mu Sheng in the novel is a very complicated and challenging character to act out, and Ding Yuxi nailed it! Watching him in those early episodes was like seeing a book character come to life. And, it's extra challenging because we see his thoughts like in the novel. It relies almost entirely on his acting skills.

Plus, the drama speedruns the changes to his emotional state and behavior. Each change that originally took place over a few chapters is now done in the span of one episode or less, and he has so many changes.

Have you seen this video about his jinjiang style acting https://www.tumblr.com/disconnected-from-reality/767006302816845824

lgief rewatch ep. 8

ep 8… the most pivotal and crazy and amazing episode. so many moments to pick apart and rave over. let me not waste any time here because i have a LOT to say and a lot to rave over.

if youd like to discuss lgief, feel free to send me asks, chats, or reply to any of these posts.

ep 1 / ep 2 / ep 3 / ep 4 pre-festival / ep 4 festival / ep 5, 5 part 2 / ep 6 / ep 7 / ep 8

so we start off with a flashback of the real world of when miaomiao woke up to the bunny-cut apple. and now theres one next to her. a clear hint that ziqi knows her in that world. i didnt quite know what the reveal would be, but this was really cute!!!

look at ziqi's face. hes so deep in thought, and clearly troubled by whatever it is. obviously, its all about miaomiao getting hurt and also seeing his demon form. based off what he says, yao has been watching her the past two days, so this is likely the first time hes seen her. all the emotions have probably come rushing through him.

miaomiao has to take a second to wake up before she realizes, oh, ziqi is here?

and hes so attentive to everything he sees the slight shift of her body. and his first reaction is to get her up to speed, looking away and down at his hands, reassuring her that shes okay.

and miaomiao is like my wound? what about YOUR WOUND? bitch does what all of us ziqi fans wish we could do. SHOW US THE CLEAVAGE!!!!!!!

continuity error on his grabbing her hands, which is interesting bc they put in the sound twice of it, so they knew the scenes werent clipped together properly.

hes SOOOOO taken aback like "what the fuck" love how he pauses, stammers and all because omg shes trying to touch my chest and he is not used to physical touch ESPECIALLY like this.

"thats not decent" while staring her down but hes got no bite in his voice.

again, looking away and pulling his robes to cover himself. maybe you shouldnt wear such a slutty v neck if you dont want someone trying to see smh.

shes so right for calling him out, too. "i saw it that day didnt i?" you did. you saw him in arguably his worst state. and yet…

fully reblogged version here

#love game in eastern fantasy #guide to capturing a black lotus

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letstalkaboutshtufff · 4 years ago

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A Bad Feeling Pt 1

Levi x Reader

Part 1

Paring: Levi Ackerman x Cadet reader

Warnings: 18+ attempted rape/assault, cursing, mention of injury, violence

Summary: Reader feels uncomfortable around a overly friendly captain. Are they just over reacting? Or is there something else going on. What will Levi do when he finds out?

***************************************************

A.n. ok so I literally wrote this in one go, it's probably trash but I wanted to post it anyway. Please lemme know what you think in the comments! Thank you!

"Y/n! captain Oro is asking for you" you did your best to hide the discomfort Armins words made you feel.

You smiled what you hoped was a convincing one and nodded. With a deep breath you made your way to Captains Oro's office.

Ever since you had been introduced to him those few weeks ago, he had taken a special liking to you. At first you had been excited, having such a highly skilled and well known captain take notice of you was one of the best feelings. Especially since your squad leader, Levi wasn't exactly heavy on praise.

Everyone loved Captain Oro, he was known for his strength and stamina on the battle field. He was both charismatic, and charming. Your fellow cadets practically swooned over him. You couldn't help but also get caught up in his perfection. At first that is..

Over time you noticed things about your meetings that put you on edge. An unnecessary shoulder touch here, a too low pat on the back there. Something was off. And although you had done your best to distance yourself from him, it was hard when your squads often had to work together.

But it was hard to say anything against him because even your cold blooded captain seemed to enjoy his presence.

Once you brought it up to your friend Sasha, about how you felt he was being too friendly. But she waved her hand and basically said you were worrying for nothing, he was just a friendly guy. And you were being dramatic.

Maybe you were overreacting? If captain levi approved of him, surely that meant he was a decent person right? Maybe he was just being really really friendly.

You decided to give him a chance and knocked on his door when you finally arrived.

"Come in" a muffled voice came from the other side.

With a click you entered the candlelit room. It was nearing sundown after all.

"Ah cadet y/n! Perfect, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion on something?" He smiled angelically and gestured towards a parchment on his desk.

"Of course sir" you nodded and approached him, reminding yourself of what sasha said. Just relax.

From the way the parchment was positioned you had no choice but to come to his side of the desk.

"Do you see this area here?" He gestured to what you now saw was a map. "What do you think of leading a squad through here instead of what we originally planned?"

The next 30 minutes you spent completely and professionally discussing strategies. Being the member of your squad that was best at this, made him asking for you completely justified. You felt bad for ever doubting his intentions.

"Thank you y/n, I think I have a better idea of what course we should pursue on our next expedition" he smiled sincerely.

"I'm glad I could be of service" you nodded and allowed a relaxed smile to pass your features. Feeling stupid you had judged him so harshly.

" If you wouldnt mind just one more thing?" You nodded as he pulled out a stack of papers.

"If you could look over this report of the last mission before I send it out? See if theres anything else to add?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to Captain" you grabbed the stack.

"And please if you can, return them to me tonight, I'll need them for the meeting bright and early"

"Yes sir, I'll finish it asap, good evening" and with that you exused yourself.

Tonight? It was already sundown. Well whatever, hes so busy he probably doesn't know what time of day it is.

You found a quiet spot amonsgt the crowds in the common room and got to work.

************************************

"Oi brat, it's passed curfew, go to your room now, we have important work tommorow" the unmistakable voice of your captain rang through the now empty hall.

You looked up in surprise and meet his usual scowl, not even realizing how late it had gotten.

"Hai, s-sorry captain, I'll go now" you gathered the report and quickly left, not wanting to receive another scolding for taking too long.

Oh crap you still had to deliever the report. Changing routes you snuck quietly down the familiar hallways. Not particularly feeling like running into Levi again. Something about him always made you act just a little dumber and it was definitely not because of your non existent crush on him...definitely not.. he was just intimidating is all.

*knock knock*

You waited patiently but there was no answer. Crap did he already go to bed? But he knew I was coming? Ugh what should I do? He needs these reports..

With a sigh you change direction again and head for his personal chambers. There was no way you were getting in trouble for not delivering these reports on time.

You smiled when you saw dim light flood from beneath the door.

Lightly you knocked, "Captain Oro, its y/n, sorry it's so late but I have the rep-" you were cut off abruptly when the door swung open and there stood Oro.

Except he looked nothing like the Oro you were used too seeing. His hair was loose from it's normal slicked back do, and the edges were dripping slightly. His shirt was loosely thrown on revealing a decent amount of skin. He must've just bathed.. you could see why the girls were so obsessed with him. He was, platonically speaking, a very gorgeous man.

You were taken aback but reminded yourself that you did knock after hours so of course he wasnt going to be all soldiered up.

"U-um s-sorry Captain, I have the reports" you averted your eyes and shoved the reports in his direction.

"Ah y/n, thank you, would you please put them on my table? My hands are still slightly wet." He laughed holding them up innocently.

"S-sure" god why were you stuttering so much, you fight goddamn titans for a living?! But somehow you were more nervous now than when a 10meter was clawing at you.

You entered the room and tried to avoid looking around too much.

You always wondered what the inside of the higher ups rooms look-

*click*

You whipped around, alarm bells suddenly back in full force.

"Captain what are you-"

"You're such a good girl, you know that y/n?" Oros whole demeanor changed and you cursed yourself for not trusting your earlier instincts.

"U-um" you really did not know what to say or do as he took a couple steps closer.

"Always so obedient for me, I think you deserve a reward don't you?"

Shit

"That's not...that's not necessary captain, I really should be going" you tried to lunge for the door but he was quicker and much much stronger.

"I don't believe I dismissed you cadet..." he purred pinning your arms to the door in the blink of an eye.

You were by no means weak, but your struggles were useless against him.

"Let me go" it took all your strength not to stutter in fear.

"How adorable, you know I love it when you follow my orders so well, but I think..." you shivered in disgust as you felt his lips near your neck and press down.

"I'd like to see you fight me as well" you whimpered as he sucked and bit down on the soft flesh.

"S-stop it, p-please" he smirked and looked into your fearful eyes with his lustful ones. "Stop? But that's not what you really want is it? You see I know exactly how girls like you are" he chuckled darkly and moved one of his hands to grip both your arms, while the other slid lower. You gasped when he cupped your breast. "S-stop! I'll, ill scream If you don't!" You felt a tear slide down your shaking form.

"Scream?" He snickered like you had told the funniest joke.

"Go ahead and scream doll, itll be very interesting to see what happens"

"W-what?" You were utterly confused.

"Think about it, if someone walks in on us, what would they think? Seeing a cadet after hours in her superiors chambers?"

"B-but I! I was bringing the reports i wasn't-!"

"Do you honestly think theyll care what you have to say? Who do you think theyll believe y/n? You a nobody cadet who's been fighting titans for 3 seconds? Or me, a selfless hero whos saved countless of scouts lives? All I have to tell them is that you came into my room and tried to seduce me. When I tried to restrain you, you screamed. Who do you think theyll listen too? Why else would you be here so late at night?"

"Y-You're..you're insane, you're not a hero, y-you're a coward who-" he grasped your jaw harshly causing you to wince.

"I'd watch that mouth of yours y/n" he squeezed harder. I am your superior after all, and we wouldnt want any nasty rumors going around that would have you suspended from the survey corps now would we?" He bent down and to your horror pressed his lips against yours.

Fuck fuck what do I do?!? Hes blackmailing me now. I cant fight him, hes too strong, think think think.

But your mind was blank when his cold lips pressed against your lips again. "Open your mouth" he ordered in a voice laced with animilistac lust.

You abruptly turned your head away desperate to get away.

"Heh, always such a tease" he traced a finger up and down your cheek, flipping over your lips. "I'll enjoy this-"

"CAPTAIN ORO, COMMANDER ERWIN REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE IN HIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY" a voice shouts from the other side of the locked door.

With an annoyed sigh, Oro pulls away slightly, "Did he say why?" He lazily looks over in the direction of the door.

"NO SIR!"

"guess it can't be helped... Alright tell him I'll be there shortly" he yelled out.

"Hai" the footsteps recended and you stood deathly still.

He pulled away from you and you immediately pulled your wrists to you, they were an angry red, and it scared you how much strength he had so effortlessly displayed.

"Sorry doll, it looks like we'll have to continue this another night" he stepped away and began dressing normally as if he hadn't just been assaulting you 5 second ago. You quickly make for the door but his voice falters your step, "Oh and y/n?"

You dont look at him, but fear held you in place until he finished, "If you mention our little moment to anyone, you know what will happen" you nodded quickly, anything to appease him and get out.

When the door shut behind you, you felt the flood of tears break through.

D-did, d-did that really happen?!?

You held a hand to quiet your sobs and quickly dashed through the hallways.

You're heart thumped and you felt the need to vomit. You hadn't felt this way since the first time youd encounted a titan. All you wanted to do was get to the safety of your room, just through the hall.

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on you when a cold voice shouted out and halted your movements. Please not now, oh god any time but now.

"Oi cadet y/n are you deaf as well as dumb? I asked you a question.

"Why are you out past curfew?" he sounded definitely annoyed and you gathered all your strength to hold the sobs out of your voice.

Without turning around you answered, "I-I had to deliver some r-reports..I'll head to my room now.." you stepped forward hoping he would let you go but you were not so lucky.

"Oi brat, did you hit your head? I didn't dismiss you yet. Not to mention you haven't even addressed me properly, maybe some time cleaning up horse shit will remind you how to respect your superiors" fuck he was definitely angry now.

Still you didn't turn around, you couldn't..."S-sorry Captain Levi, I'll do better in the future.." you barely could even focus on the words coming out of your mouth, your heart was beating a mile a minute. Please just leave me alone!

"Hahh" Levi uttered in disbelief and severe annoyance, even the most novice of cadets turn around when being spoken to by a superior. "Are you trying to piss me off brat?!?"

"No sir..." still you didnt turn around, but gulped in fear when you heard sharp footsteps near you.

"Cadet y/n, you have three seconds to turn around and salute me properly before I throw you into the cells for insubordination" he ordered in his dangerously calm voice, that you never thought would be directed at you.

Having no other choice you slowly turn around, hoping to god the darkness of the room would be enough to hide your current state.

You kept your head down, letting your hair fall over your face, but gave a proper salute. Hiding the Wince that came when the tender flesh of your wrist had to bend.

Your eyes were trained on the floor. And you tried to remember how to breathe normally again.

"At least you remember how to-" abruptly his harsh scolding stopped.

Why did he stop?! Fuck did he notice something. No no calm down, he probably just is coming up with another punishment...right?

Wrong...

Levi was far from being done with dicisplining you but he caught sight of your bruised wrist and furrowed his brows immediately. He knew for a fact the last time you spoke in the hall those had not been there. He was quick to take in the rest of your demeanor and knew immediately that the reason you were acting disrespectful was because something was wrong.

"Cadet y/n.." he said suspiciously slow and not full of anger anymore.

"Y-yes?" Please dont ask me, please dont ask me, please dont-

"Look at me"

*******************************

Part 2 here

Okay so that's part 1! Please comment and lemme know what you think🥰also I'm super sensitive so please no hateful comments. Thanks for reading!

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foilfreak · 4 years ago

Text

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

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maschotch · 3 years ago

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If hotch's mom is still alive, what do you think she's like & their relationship is like?

WHAT an interesting question. i think i’ve always just assumed his mom was dead bc there is literally no mention of her at all. not from hotch or from sean. his dad was already complicated enough…

this answer got longer than intended kasjhdlg so it’s going under a read more

ok lemme get into the general characterization i’ve had in my head this whole time just so i can figure out how to work this out. obviously his father was abusive, and it’s likely something his mother has had to deal with for much longer. just for the sake of keeping her firmly under his thumb (fist), i’ve imagined her marrying when she’s pretty young? like 18/19… i dont wanna get too caught up in the ages bc that’s a whole other fucking rabbit hole, but whats important is the mentality: someone who’s been stuck in an abusive relationship for years, someone who feels like they have nowhere else to go. based on the interactions hotch has had w abusive fathers and their wives.. i’ve sorta just come to the conclusion that she wasn’t the type to stand up for herself. and after years of prolonged physical and undoubtedly psychological abuse, i doubt she would qualify as mentally stable. conjuring fantastical classically gothic images of what the hotchner household looked like, i imagine by the time hotch became a teenager, his mom was kind of like an empty shell. drifting around the house with a ghastly presence; yellow wallpaper, wide sargasso sea kinda vibes

the intention with all this was to have her set the house on fire, killing herself inside it, in all its melodramatic glory. but hey if they didnt want me to be As Extra As Possible with it then they shouldve just give hotch a backstory and i wouldnt have to. but the ultimate goal here was to leave hotch without a stable figure in his life by the time his dad passes (however we choose to believe THAT happened..) it seemed like the easiest way to set up the scene for hotch’s behavioral problems as a teenager and sean’s attachment issues. no matter how wattpad-y we get with it, i just assumed his mother was dead

so if she wasn’t… whew. that rocks the boat a bit. because it makes her more than a survivor: it makes her a witness. hotch has no one in his life currently who was there for the brunt of his father’s abuse. sean was likely too little, and haley hadn’t quite entered the scene yet (and even if she was, i doubt it’s something he would be upfront about). he has no one to tie him back to that period of his life, and honestly i think that even if it hadn’t worked out that way, hotch would try very hard to distance himself from that time entirely. preferring to sweep it under the rug and pretend he had that happy normal household he’d always been taught to say. if his mother was alive, i doubt that would change. for someone who holds the idea of family in such high esteem, he was quick to estrange his brother even before sean committed to the #badboylyfestyle. i imagine it would be just as easy for him to cut off his mother.

to what extent… that depends on how they grew up. we can keep with the original idea of a weaker woman in the shadow of an abusive husband. if we continued along that journey.. well… @t4thotchniss thought it would be fun if, once hotchner sr died, she thought that hotch was his father. even though she’s free from the abuse, the mental wounds were past hope of recovery. she may still be breathing, but the warm mother of his childhood is still long dead, replaced by a demented husk. either institutionalized or sent with sean to the grandparents to be cared for and looked after. hotch may visit occasionally, but he grows weary of facing his mother’s cowering eyes as she waits for the blow to come. the constant reminder that he looks like his father, that he is his father’s son, is unpleasant for both of them and hotch may just stop coming all together. something sean, not knowing the nature of the situation, doesn’t understand. he just views it as another rejection from his older brother.

if we eased up on the severity a little bit and just had her be a shell-shocked survivor now charged with raising two kids, it’d be different for sure. i’m not sure what state their finances are in, but for the sake of simplicity lets just say she can get by with the inheritance and meager earnings from some small job in town. i think at that point, her biggest issue would be herself. her husbands dead and gone now. and without that malicious air saturating the household, she starts questioning her own hand in that environment. why didn’t she do something about it? why did she spend so long living like that? why didn’t she protect her son? this would hit especially hard if we decided to be sexy and have hotch kill his father. her fear has been replaced by an overwhelming sense of guilt. to the point where she can’t even look at her son anymore. she focuses all her energy on sean and tries to create a home so different from the kind hotch was raised in: one where he could feel safe and loved. something sorely lacking throughout hotch’s childhood. hotch may be upset at first (hence the behavioral issues) and this is where she sends him off to boarding school. she won’t admit it, but it’s two birds with one stone. she wouldn’t have to deal with an unstable teenager and she doesn’t have to live with the constant reminder of her failure as a mother. over time i think hotch would understand why being around him was so difficult for his mother. especially years later—when she realizes she’d made the wrong decision by ostracizing her son, being ashamed to see him all over again. hotch respects that and keeps his distance. truthfully it’s easier for him too: if there’s no one in his life from that time, he can go on pretending everything was fine.

now we could get real crazy with it and have his mom be abusive too. there are varying levels here, but i’ll take inspiration from the conversation with perotta. “why didn’t you hate her?” things would be drastically different if he was the only one who suffered at the hands of his father. the man didn’t touch his wife, choosing to take his anger out solely on his son. in that case, it would make more sense if it was something that got worse with age. he wasn’t necessarily violent before, until his wife gave birth to the perfect outlet for his aggression. as the drinking worsened and the decrepitness of middle age began to settle in, his temper only got worse—as did the beatings. without compassion, without solidarity, without any sort of companionship… that would be a very different environment for a child indeed. there’s no expectation for reprieve. no hope that it would stop. his mother, aloof and unmoved by his cries, offers no chance of momentary escape. forsaken by his mother and battered by his father, hotch grows up entirely alone with a growing resentment for the world that has dealt him only cruelty. i think that would only be heightened if, when little sean was born, both parents doted on the blond haired blue eyed baby, their perfect child. once his father dies, his mother sends him off to boarding school, not wanting to deal with her sorry excuse for a son. while hotch sorts himself out through high school to college, sean is left with high expectations and a very rigid kind of love. conditional. which is when he starts acting out. as an adult, hotch wouldn’t visit his mother much. when he does, he would be cordial and polite, his jaw aching from clenching his teeth the whole time. nevertheless he acts a perfect gentlemen, knowing full well that it will never be enough for her.

among those options i kinda like the last one honestly aksjhdlakjd i think it fits best with the resulting characters at the point we see them in the show. sean shifting erratically from trying to please their mom to acting out and rebelling… hotch becoming a lawyer in the hopes of gaining his mother’s favor, shifting to pursue his own ambitions when that last strand of hope snaps… brothers envying and resenting the other, and neither sure what to do about it… hotch ultimately being the bigger man and reaching out to rekindle their relationship… sean, irritated and indignant of his older brother seemingly flaunting his maturity in the face of sean’s failures, recoiling and shutting him out completely… the regret seeping any aspirations out of him and keeping the door stubbornly closed, refusing to turn back and insisting on continuing on the path he’s chosen, no matter where it leads… idk its just fun that way

but no matter how hotch’s childhood went, i think the end result would be the same. i don’t think he’d see his mother often, if at all. if he did, it wouldn’t be a happy occasion.

#now THIS is a fucking prompt akjsdhlgaksjd #idk if i explained these well enough?? i could definitely go more in depth into all of these #but for the sake of my sanity and anyone who actually decides to read all this... i'll hope this is enough and keep my mouth shut aksjhdgla #asks #aaron hotchner #cm writings #very interesting to me that hotch went to boarding school. like.. of all the things they couldve talked about..#they talked about something that would complicate his background even MORE?? fuck off aksjdhlasjg #but i do like it #😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

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necroticneurosis · 6 months ago

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dream talk. gets long. dont think too hard on it.

i was sitting on a couch scrolling social media on my phone, and a few other people were there, chatting away, when someone else walked in. i glanced up to see gerard, thought "oh, its him", then looked back down at my phone. the other people started getting excited, asking for signatures photos and hugs. i didnt acknowledge him nor share everyones excitement. he walked closer to me, leaning against the half wall nearest the couch i was lounging on, and asked the room "anyone else want a signature?" it was directed at me, the guy whos treating him like everyone else. it was said as if it was nothing. a kind of "im used to this so if you want a picture or something ill give you one, no biggie". i caved and handed him a cd that he wasnt even on.

a few minutes pass and i realize the fans arent there anymore and the room has changed, though i wouldnt be able to tell you what was different. gerards sat on the couch with me now. im still scrolling social media but my hearts beating a little faster as i try to ignore him being closer to me. of me feeling something i cant quite place. hes treating me like weve always known eachother, like were friends, like ive known him since... anyway, i realize hes sitting on my feet. we both apologize for it, awkwardly. we both feel we need to act less casual than we feel we should. i mean, were friends, arent we? weve known eachother for years... havent we? but we both know thats not true. even though we feel differently.

the room has changed even more now. theres a couple cameras pointed at the couch, a few screens, big lights and mics and all. a doorway to the left. everyone else walks in, along with sound techs. gerard stands, with one last look at me, a strange look in his eyes, then goes to talk with mikey and a tech. i move over to were gerard was sitting and frank sits next to me, bob next to him, ray behind/to the side of the couch. i refused to look at frank. i felt strange seeing him, feeling him beside me, outside of me, instead of...

...well, its a livestream of some form. its for something important, something big. the chat starts flowing well before the cameras start rolling. franks already cracking jokes and rays feeding it. i realize im part of the show, like a "one lucky fan gets to sit with the band!" kind of thing. like i won some raffle or something. it made me queasy. im not a fan. i dont listen to them. i dont- im not-...

cameras rolling. techs are doing things. gerards watching. rays doing the most talking, i dont know what exactly, im not paying much attention. im looking at myself in the livestream, thinking i look strange. i look odd. i look like my body does now. i look at frank in the corners of my eyes, but never high enough to see his face, though i wouldnt be able to through his hair anyhow. i look at his tattoos and his hands, that get too close too me for comfort. my stomach is in knots. the red ink feels blinding. it tugs something i didnt know i had deep inside my heart. numbers. pictures. ink. memories. i look away.

hes telling jokes, constant jokes, one after another. chat eats it up. they love him. i dont understand why. they cut to commercial, and hes talking with everyone, laughing. theres an edge to his voice. do they hear it too? breaks almost over and he starts stancing up to play it off like he was fucking about doing something stupid and reckless while chat couldnt see us. they lose their minds again, laughing, calling him an idiot, the works. all i can think is "is this all you do? is this all you do, seriously, you only joke? is that really how you hide your pain, through relentless jokes? enough already for fucks sa-"

mikey walks behind the couch to the other side of the room. chat lights up like a firecracker, explosions of "WAY SPOTTED!!!!!!" and the like. they keep asking where gerard is, and completely ignoring bob. rays chatting away and feeding into franks antics. im feeling antsy and im sick to my stomach.

i dont know why im there. i dont know why theres two of me. i dont know whats going on. all i feel is nausea and stomach pain and i wished everyone would stop looking at me, at both of me, stop laughing at my-his-franks jokes. i just want to hang out with my best friend again. the guy who isnt my best friend. the guy who i only met an hour ago. the guy who doesnt even know me. the guy who keeps looking at me from across the room.

and now im dreaming about gerard again about everyone again im going to be sick and its only 7 in the damn morning

#journal #dreams

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pompadourpink · 3 years ago

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hey mom this might be a bit heavy and long, sorry!

how do you live past your mental illness? i graduated after having been convinced i wouldnt make it for years. now im in college and its hard to actually imagine a real future for myself, or even feel motivated for it, yanno? ive been studying french for like 5 years and im still in intermediate/beginner purgatory, so self studying isnt going well either. i guess, how do i set goals and stick to/feel accomplished by them? i dont think i ever learned how

thanks!!!

Hello dear,

I had chronic depression for more than a decade and thought from the bottom of my heart that I would never survive it or beat it and I did, so I have loads to say.

The stuff that torments you most likely exists only inside your head - as in, no one else thinks that. It sounds stupid but it is not: if someone tells you that you're bright, if someone likes you, if someone trusts you with something, don't tell them or think that they are wrong. They made their decision and stand by it. In high school, I convinced myself that I was unlovable, ignored/pushed away anyone who liked me, then spent years complaining about being completely lonely and miserable, and that was entirely my doing. I could have been happy, and I wasn't. Trust others and allow them in your circle, even if your brain tells you it's a scam. It's not. Don't make yourself sadder than you already are.

Rebrand. I used to see myself as a plate that had been thrown on the floor many times and kept being broken into smaller and smaller pieces, which made it harder and harder to reconstruct fully. I also used to picture my depression as some type of vicious little demon that was riding on my back, biting and wounding my shoulders with its sharp teeth and long claws, and taking all the pleasure in the world in never letting me have one moment of peace. After making many changes in my life (cutting ties, better people, therapy, prioritising myself), I began seeing my wounds as bruises that would eventually heal, and, more importantly, after watching The seventh seal, I started picturing depression/Death as No-face from Spirited away: massive, a bit creepy, silent, always by my side, but not evil, not malicious, just there. After a while, it felt like a reassuring presence who had been standing next to me faithfully for most of my life, and when I beat depression, my oldest friend waved and went away. So long, my dear, until we meet again!

Obviously, get a therapist if you can afford one, but even if you can, talk to as many people as you can and read a lot, especially about psychology and psychiatry. I started feeling better in 2018 and beat depression in March 2020, ironically, because everyone on social media started getting symptoms of depression (feeling like crap, gaining weight, having issues with hygiene, etc.) which no one normally talked about, and I realised I wasn't broken, I just had been having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Hear as many points of view as you can so you can make an educated decision.

When it comes to the future, think of what you've loved your entire life. When I think of my current life, everything I have has been carried since childhood. Don't study for a particular job, but work for a particular life. Identify what makes you happy, what you are good at, what you love, and focus on that stuff and that stuff only. Become excellent at those things, and find a way to make a living out of it - you don't have to follow the regular path, everything is temporary anyway, and what matters is that you're happy. That's it.

When it comes to goals, the first step is to find out what meaning you want to give to your life: two questions here, the first being what is my greater purpose? And the other what is my biggest personal goal? The second step is to declutter. And I don't mean declutter your wardrobe - declutter everything. Your house, head, diet, relationships, beliefs, habits; anything that doesn't serve you, brings you closer to your main goal or purpose, makes you miserable, has to go. The third step is to question constantly why you want to do things: do you actually (why?), or are you trying to impress someone, or to reach another person's dream? If you can't manage to do something, either you need to cut it into smaller pieces and treat yourself after reaching each milestone, or admit that you don't actually want to do it. In the case of French, check out my Google drive and read Goosebumps, or tweets, or sing along karaoke on Youtube. Make it fun, easy, frequent but short, and be nicer to yourself.

Love and power,

Mum

#ask #malks

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kindnessisweakness2 · 4 years ago

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Delusional - Part 9!

When Delaney woke up she didn't recognize anything around her. One thing she did know is she felt like she had been hit by a truck. Looking around her, the dimly lit room was empty apart from a shabby wooden table a few feet infront of her with a camera tripod placed in the centre. Looking down at the uncomfortable chair she was sat in she silently thanked god she was still in her shorts and Jax’s T-shirt she wore yesterday. As her head pounded painfully she tried to think back to yesterday and how the hell she ended up here. She couldnt remember anything after crying in the bathroom as Jax left. Jax. Oh God. He was probably hauled up with Tara making up for lost time. he probably didnt even know she was gone. Tears welled in her eyes as she realised no one was looking for her. No one knew she was gone. Before she could let herself panic too much the heavy steel door to the right of the room was slammed open. Out walked Kevin and Delaneys stomach dropped heavily. Yes Kevin was weird but he couldnt be the matermind behind this. NO. Delaney was 100% sure there was something else to this. She didnt have to wait long to get her answer either. A few minutes later Alex followed Kevin into the cold room with a video camera held tightly in his hands. Delaney Knew she was right. Her Jaw fell slack as she made eye contact with the man that ruined her life and nearly killed her. The man she was convinced for years she loved deeply. “Hey Babe, Did you miss me?” Alex smirked at the shock that was still clear on he face. “What? W-why? H-how?” Delaney could barley speak never mind stutter the small questions she do desperately wanted answers to. “Oh sweetie ill explain everything dont you worry. But first things first-” Alex raised his finger dramatically and turned to the video camera that now sat firmly on the tripod. Pressing the ON button and connecting a cable it beeped to life. “ I dont think your little Biker Bitch will want to miss out on this.” Before Delaney could say anything a chain was tightly hooked to the handcuffs around her wrists and yanked upwards. In seconds she was hung from the ceiling with her arms suspended above her head. Gasping in pain she clenched her eyes shut tightly. Her shoulders were on fire immediately and her toes barley brushed the damp floor. Glaring at Alex as he came to stand Beside her Delaney scoffed. “So whats the plan? Kill me? Send the video to the club? You know they’ll kill you right? You kill me and Jax will come for your head.” Alex burst out laughing and shook his head. “Oh Baby girl, you’ve grown some balls since you were mine.” Grabbing her face tightly he yanked her forward on the chain so she was closer to the camera. “This is being streamed to the Clubhouse as we speak. Kevin here managed to change the connection at the last beer delivery and you didnt even notice.” Tutting at her sarcastically Alex let go of her face and smiled at her. “Kevin here is a sucker for a pretty face. He fell for you pretty quickly. I find it quite rude you weren’t particularly nice about the gifts he left for you. The notes were me ofcourse. Poor Kevin here doesnt have the same artistic flare as me.” Alex’s smile was sinister as he turned from Delaney to take a Knife from Kevin. Delaney’s stomach turned as he made his way back towards her and grabbed her neck tightly so she couldnt flinch away. The grin on his face made Delaney feel sick as he cut the navy blue SAMCRO T-shirt from her body. She could only hope that whatever it was he had planned for her, he would kill her quick.

The slamming of the clubhouse door hinted at Jax’s arrival. Half sack had called him to explain what showed up on the bar TV and within minutes every club member and Gemma was crowded around the large screen. Jax’s heart broke as his eyes locked on Delaney’s fearful ones. She was hung from the ceiling in nothing but a black lace bra and black cycle shorts. “So this is what you’ve been planning for the year we’ve been seperated? Finding me a stalker and planning your revenge?” Delaney spat angrily. Kevin stood in the corner just staring ad her as she was suspended half naked in the dirty room and it made her want to vomit. Jax turned up the volume on the TV just as Alex came into view. Looking at his mother Jax’s eyes were on fire with anger. “I thought you said he left her and moved back to England?” Gemma glared at her son. “ And i thought you were meant to be protecting her? You left her and the bastard swooped in and took her! I’m not the only one with some explaining to do am i?!” Jax shook his head and turned back to the screen. Now was not the time to argue with his impossible mother. He needed to focus on finding Delaney. He focused his attention back on the screen just in time to see Alex put the Knife to her neck. “You were mine. You really think i was going to let you go that easy? We would still be together if it wasnt for Jaxon Teller. You didnt care about me anymore once you met him.” Alex Gripped Delaney by the Hair and pulled her head back exposing her neck more. “You’re wrong! About everything.” Gasping in pain as strands of her hair were pulled out by the roots Delaney had to argue. She couldnt let him blame everything on Jax. “You’re just upset you lost your fucking punchbag! You beat me almost every day i was with you for nothing. The day i got that Job at Teller-Morrow was the day i got part of my life back. I wasnt just your housewife anymore. I had my own money and i was saving up to leave you.” Alex stepped away from Delaney his face crimson red with anger, But with tears streaming down her face she continued to tell him the truth. Her Truth. He needed to know just how much of a monster he was. “Then i came home late from a club party late, they’d asked me to work the bar, do you remember? How you accused me of sleeping with every member? How you told me the only thing i was good for was being passed around? That no one would ever want me?! Do you remember Alex? How you beat me so bad my eyes were swollen shut for days. How i was unconscious on our kitchen floor for 2 days. How you stomped on my chest the next morning and broke 4 of my ribs because i physically couldnt get up and make you breakfast! How you made me clean ourhouse on my hands and knees because i was in too weak, in too much pain to stand!” Alex scoffed as Delaney sobbed. “You fucking deserved it! You were sleeping with Teller behind my back! you just wanted to get rid of me so you could be with him. you never paid me any attention and hung around him like a desperate whore. You think i dont remember those times i came to pick you up from work to see you flirting with him right infront of my face. Laughing and Giggling like a teenage school girl! You were practically begging for him!”

Grabbing hold of the chain Delaney was tied to he spun her around. Delaney knew what was coming next and couldnt help but squeeze her eyes shut in fear. “You didn't waste any time did you you bitch? you got his crow tattooed across your shoulders. Isn’t that how that sordid little club marks women as theirs?” Delaney stayed silent and hung her head as she felt Alex press the knife into the middle of her back where Jax’s initals sat underneath the black crow in flight that stretched across her upper back and shoulders. “Its not like that.” Delaney muttered as tears welled in her eyes. “Oh did he mark you as his then threw you away like the cheap little bitch you always have been? Poor Delaney, no one ever wanted you so you throw yourself at the first man that looks your way.” More tears fell from her eyes as she Shook her head, “You know NOTHING about him. He’s more of a man than you’ll EVER be. He’s a good person, Hes loyal and he would do anything for family. You? Youre a fucking coward.” Alex’s face was like thunder. Pulling the chain hard making her yelp in pain as she was quickly turned to face him he punched her in the face making her swing backwards. Feeling the blood run down her lips Delaney grinned as she met Alex’s brown eyes. “Point proven! You’ll put your hands on a woman but you’d never hit a man. As a Great friend of mine would say you’re a Slimy Wee Bastard.” Her heart clenched painfully as she thought of Chibs he was like a father to her and she wouldnt even get to say goodbye.

Back at the Club house the other members of SAMCRO couldnt hide their shock at the revelation that Delaney had Jax’s Crow. “You marked her?” Clay nearly exploded. “You marked her as shes not even your old lady?!” Gemma didnt even jumped to her sons defence as Clay shoved Jax hard. “Its not like that. It just happened!” Jax didnt bother trying to explain. There was so much more they didnt know about his and Delaneys relationship. “But what if she wants to be with another guy? Maybe another member?” Jax lunged for the prospect at the thought of his girl being with someone else. “O-or E-even a-another guy. J-just a normal regular guy?” Juice smacked Half sack around the head for his stupidity as Opie pulled Jax back from ripping the prospect apart. “Can we please focus on trying to find her? Every minute she’s with that psycho is another minute we are closer to him Killing her.” Gemma refocused everyones attention back on the screen trying to find anything that looked familiar in the room. The needed to work out where this Idiot would take her. Jax mentally made one promise as he watched Delaneys terrified eyes. Once he had her safe in his arms. There was no way he was ever letting her go.

#sons of anarchy #Jax Teller #jax teller x reader #soa imagine #soa fanfiction

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negandarylsatisfaction · 4 years ago

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[SUMMARY: Negans wives become jealous after he begins to like the new woman who has joined the sanctuary. Taking advantage of her innocence and English not being her main language, the girls plot against her, making Negan go back on one of his own rules.]

Got Negan speaking some spanish.

Smut

Negan and Valentina. PART ONE

"My oh my..." Negan squinted his eyes at the sight of you across the room from him. Not paying attention to who was watching you, you continued organizing cans of fruit as you were told to do that day.

"Is that the new chick you bought here this morning?" Negan looked over at Simon beside him.

"Yeah, I put her on supply duty. Her english isnt so good but she moves quick."

Negan looked back at you, your caramel complexion and long wavy hair catching his attention.

"And why the hell have I not been introduced to her?" Negan responded with a raised brow.

"You're the one who said not to bother you if I found people I felt could fit in here. Trust my judgement, dont you?" Simon asked Negan noticing he wouldnt take his eyes off you.

"Of course I do. I also trust you to tell me when a fine piece of ass joins us, she might want to join the others," he explained referring to his wives. His response causing Simon to shake his head.

"Ehh...shes a little different from the other ones buddy. That's why I didnt mention her."

"Different? How?" Negan asked with interest as he turned to Simon.

"Shes a quiet one."

"The quietest ones are the freakiest," Negan grinned as he chewed on a toothpick.

"What's her name?"

"Valentina," Simon answered crossing his arms. Negan slid the toothpick around his mouth with his tongue before pulling it out and flicking it to the side.

"I'll be right back," Simon watched as Negan made his way to you knowing exactly what he would try to do.

"Excuse me, Miss Valentina is it?" Negan spoke in a charming voice as you continued organizing the cans straight in a box.

"Shit, I dont think I've been properly introduced to you. I do run this place so I should know everyone here, shouldn't I?" Immeditaly you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him with a look of embarrassment.

"I did not know this was your place. My apologies." Negan frowned at you not expecting your politeness or being so attracted to the sound of your accent.

"No need for an apology, darling. Im Negan and it is my upmost pleasure to meet you." Negan spoke charismatically as he slowly checked out what was before him from head to toe. The look of innocence pulled Negan more towards you. Smiling at him you shyly crossed your arms not knowing what else to say.

"How about I give you a tour of my Sanctuary."

"A tour?" You answered with a puzzled expression.

"What's that?" You asked, not knowing too much English there was many words you did not understand.

"A tour, when someone shows you around. Shit, I'll be your personal host. What do you say, honey?"

"Oh, I guess. Yes." Your response exciting Negan.

Negan showed you the men at work, he showed you where everyone got together to eat and then he left his wives for last. He led you into a room with four women. Slightly confused by how they were dressed and how their faces changed when they saw Negan, you did not say a word.

"Dont be shy, sweetheart." Feeling his hand on your lower back as he gently pushed you close inside you smiled nervously.

"These women here are my dear, dear wives." Negan looked back at you to see your reaction. With a frown you looked at each of them as they stared back at you.

"Wives? All of them? I dont understand."

"Mmmhm." Negan bit his bottom lip with a smile.

"These women get special access to many things here at the Sanctuary and all they have to do is be my wife."

Negan explaining to you the rule did not notice the way one of his wives Sara, was looking at you. Right away you began to feel uncomfortable that this man had all these women, you were not sure if he was trying to come on to you with the offer.

"That is um....very nice-" you struggled to find the right words as you took a step back.

"I should get back to my work," Negan fully turned to you with your response.

"See that's the best part," he spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"As my wife you dont have to do any of that work, sweetheart." Standing still, you observed the way he looked at you. Clearly, he was attracted to you.

"In my country...we work for our needs. We work hard...nothing is for free."

"Hm," Negan responded as he looked down at you. He respected your way of thinking, if anything it made him more interested.

"I cant argue with that, darling." Negan winked at you as he stood beside you. The women watched the way he placed his hand on your lower back once again as he led you out of the room. You were the first woman to deny Negans offer but they saw the way he looked at you. They could tell he liked you and they didnt want to share Negan with anyone else.

The next few days you continued to work with the supplies as you had planned. Negan watched as you helped around with the kids, he thought you were a very sweet woman. He thought you had a softer touch than the others. Today you took a different task and helped with the cooking, you didnt notice how much Negan had his eyes on you. The man was captivated by your beauty. As you cut up the vegetables in the kitchen, Negan quietly entered. Humming to yourself, he entered the room and took it upon himself to stand beside you.

"Mind if I keep you company, sweetheart?"

"If that's what you like," your accent making him smirk. Negan leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.

"What?" You looked up at him confused.

"Nothing...its just the way you speak."

His response making you frown, you weren't sure to be offended or not.

"What's wrong with the way I speak?"

Negan chuckled as he stepped closer to you.

"Oh...absolutely, nothing. I actually find it kind of..sexy." He answered with a grin making you look away shyly.

"I know men like you." Negan frowned as you responded with a soft voice.

"Men like me? What's that suppose to mean?"

"Que se-" you cut yourself off not meaning to respond in spanish.

"I mean-"

"Woah woah woah. What was that?" Negan leaned in closer to you.

"Were you about to just tell me off in Spanish?" He asked with half a smile, he couldn't deny it. The sound of you losing your patience in your first language aroused him.

"Please....go on," Negan teased.

"What I was going to say..was that-"

"In spanish, Valentina," the sound in his voice sounding like an order.

"Te gusta coquetear. You like to flirt...you chase after many women...womanizer."

"Mmmmm..." Negan bit his bottom lip and shook his body liking the sound of you talking in your language before he took another step closer.

"Well just for your information, Valentina. I dont chase after women, I flirt. But I cant help when a woman catches my eye like no other has..." His husky voice making you look up at him staring directly down at you.

"And I have to admit, you've really caught my eye." You could feel your cheeks begin to blush before turning away shyly.

"I better finish cooking." Nervously you responded continuing to chop up the vegetables as Negan remained beside you. Feeling his eyes heavily on you, you began to cut faster when suddenly you sliced your finger.

"Ow!" Negan turned serious at the sound of your scream.

"Shit." He instantly took hold of your hand taking a close look at your cut.

"I'm fine, I just-"

"Come here." Negan took you by your wrist to the table and sat you down across from him.

"Its nothing, Negan-"

"You cut yourself pretty fucking deep." Negan pulled out a small bottle of whiskey from his pocket and opened it with his mouth before quickly pouring some on your wound. You gasped trying to pull your hand back but he held you tightly.

"Easy, honey." Negan blew lightly on your wound as he looked at you and relieved the burning sensation.

"Better? Or am I going to get told off again in spanish?" Negan teased making you playfully scowl at him.

"Let me see this." Negan grabbed a cloth and patted it dry. Quietly you watched how gently he moved, how softly he touched your fingers. You had to admit, you were surprised to see a man like him move so lightly with his hands. He seemed so concerned with your wound. Sara, one of his wives unexpectedly walked in catching your hand in his as he treated you. Quickly you pulled away and stood up noticing the irritated look in her eyes.

"Sara, you need something?" Negan turned to her as she changed the expression on her face.

"No, we were just looking for you. All of us have been looking for you." Sara responded as you turned away wrapping your finger in a bandage.

"Alright. I'll be right there. You can go." Sara not liking his response turned and left the room as Negan stood up and walked towards you.

"You always carry a bottle of that stuff on you?" You asked with your back to him.

"Some times, never know when a pretty lady might accidentally wound herself." He teased making you laugh.

"I'm not so bad after all, am I?" His voice made you smile as you tied your finger up.

"You're still a womanizer," you responded playfully.

"Till one catches my eye." Negans tone wasnt as playful as yours, he meant what he said. Not knowing what to respond to that you changed the subject.

"Well thank you, even though it burned," you laughed as he stood behind you.

"I would've finished taking care of it if you didnt get up and run away so fast."

"Its okay, you're a busy man. Your wives are waiting."

"Let them wait." Negan responded not knowing Sara was hearing eveything behind the door. Never had Negan neglected his time with his wives before and they did not like this.

"I got it. Let me finish cooking, I'll see you around." You turned to him with a smile before continuing to make dinner.

Sara had already been complaining to the other women on how much attention Negan had been giving you. Not realizing just how much these women were growing to despise you, you went about your days not thinking of them. Negan on the other hand bought a smile to your lips everytime he came to mind. Everyday he took time out of his day to have some conversation with you. You would always catch him staring at you from afar, it made your heart flutter. He respected the fact that you didnt want to be one of his wives, that you werent like the others but that's what seemed to make him like you more. A couple days later you found yourself back on supply duty. Negan stood by the door as you marked off the number of each item on your clipboard.

"Everything going good?" The sound of his voice instantly make your heart skip a beat. Turning to him with a sweet smile he walked towards you.

"Yes, everything is great."

"Let me take a look at what you've got going on here." Negan stood right behind you looking over your shoulder as he read over what you had written down. The feel of his body so close behind you made your breathing begin to grow unsteady.

"Shit, this looks about right." He murmured behind you. Negan took a peak at the sight of your cleavage watching your chest rise and fall quickly, he could tell you were nervous with him standing so close.

"So, is good?" You questioned him before swallowing nervously.

"Valentina, tell me...how do I say 'very good' in spanish?" He asked close to you.

"Um..its muy bien," Negan licked his lips at the sound of your voice.

"Muy bien," Negans deep voice sent shivers down your spine, you had to admit he sounded smooth.

"Did that sound good?" He asked slowly, it was hard not to show how much you liked it.

"Mhm," Negan grinned behind you hearing the nervous excitement in your tone.

"How about..beautiful?" You suddenly felt Negans hand gently take hold of your waist making you softly gasp.

"Negan.."

"Say it." Taking a deep breath you hesitantly responded.

"Hermosa."

"Hermosa," he whispered behind your ear seductively, you could tell he was trying to turn you on and it was working until you remembered his wives.

"Negan-" you spoke breathlessly finally turning to face him.

"What are you doing? You know how I feel-"

"No I dont. Tell me again," his eyes were intense, he was turned on just as much, if not more than you were. His hands pulled you close against him as you looked up at him hesitantly.

"I'm not one of your wives...that's not who I am..we cant..-" you spoke but your eyes did not follow. He could tell how weak you were, how close you were to giving in to him. He leaned his forehead on yours, making you feel his breath touch your lips.

"Negan....I dont like being with someone who has...who has others."

"I havent touched them since we met," Negan spoke hoarsley. And it was true, the man couldnt bring himself to be sexually aroused by them with how much he thought of you since he met you. You found it hard to believe but it was true. Finally you both closed your eyes and let each others lips press against each other. Negan groaned with his mouth on yours, for so long he had been wanting to taste you. Not as one of his wives, not as just another woman he wanted but a woman he longed for. His lips trailed down the side of your jaw onto your neck as he sucked on it making you moan. Lost in the passion neither of you heard someone enter the room, that someone being Sara.

"Negan," her demanding voice making you jump back turning away from him as you fixed your hair.

"God dammit, what did I tell you about interrupting me?" He yelled at her in frustration.

"I'm sorry, I'll go." Embarrassed and angry, not expecting him to react this way, she left the room as Negan followed to where you moved.

"Now...where were we?" He pulled you against him making you put your hand to his chest to stop him.

"Negan no, I'm sorry. Those girls dont like me-"

"You think I give a shit?"

"Its not just that, I dont do this like this. I'm not one of them." You struggled to explain to the best of your ability in english. Negan felt frustration run through him, so turned on he could burst knowing he was so close to having you. So close until someone barged in and interrupted the moment. Negans breathing was heavy, you could tell how much he wanted you.

"Dont let her ruin what was happening between us."

"Its not her-"

"Then what the fuck is it?!" He suddenly yelled making you back away.

"You dont yell at me! Quien crees que eres!?" Negan raised his brows, a sudden smirk slowly forming on his face.

"So that's what it takes for you to talk to me like that huh? And what exactly did you just say?" Negan stepped closer as you crossed your arms holding the clipboard against you.

"Not that it matters because either way you sound so sexy..." Negan couldnt hide his arrogant and flirtatious side.

"Who do you think you are?" You repeated so he could understand.

"Thinking because you are the leader of this place you can yell at me or fuck me when you want-"

"Oh baby, talking dirty to me now?" Negan was amused by your reaction, his response only irritating you more.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Negan finally gave in, as much as he liked the sound of you speaking in Spanish, he didnt like you being angry with him. As this whole time, you had never become angry with him.

"But if you must know, that's not the way I think, doll. I actually fucking like you." He admitted making you blush.

"Do I wanna fuck you? Of course I do, cant you see how fucking hard you have me? I can't lie about that but, I also fucking like you. Do you see me making any god damn time for my wives? Why do you think they constantly come looking for me when I'm with you?" Negan had a point, either way at that moment you didnt want to speak about it any longer.

"I think I should continue with my work, I'll talk to you later." Turning your back to him you continued to count over the items, Negan walked out in frustration cursing at himself.

Sara angrily ran to the other women and told them what she had just witnessed.

"So that's why hes barely been with us this past month, hes been with that broad," one wife complained.

"Hes never done this before when other women arrived, what makes that chick so special?" Another complained with frustration.

"I dont know but we've got to think of something to get rid of her. She needs to go." Sara responded when suddenly Negan pushed the door open.

"Sara, can I see you for a moment." Negan called out for her making her smile, not realizing Negan was in anything but a good mood.

"Yes, Negan," she responded happily as she closed the door behind her and faced him.

"Do me a favor dont fucking look for me unless I look for you. Dont ask of me, dont call for me, forget I'm fucking here. Understood?"

Sara's jaw dropped not expecting him to ever act this way with her.

"Y-yes. Sure." Angrily he walked off, only confirming the thought in her head that you indeed had to go.

Sara and the women had planned on introducing themselves to you, as they had never spoken to you themselves. As you finished organizing the supply room and locked the door shut you turned to find Negans wives standing outside the door.

"Um hi," nervously you smiled at them as you felt strongly that they disliked you.

"Hi, Valentina right?"

"Yes."

"My name is Sara, this is Susan, Sherry and Lisa."

"Hi, its very nice to meet you." You werent able to look Sara in the eye knowing she had just seen you and Negan together...kissing.

"I know, we havent really met..but why not right?" All the girls laughed simultaneously as you smiled awkwardly.

"We wanted to ask if you'd like to join us for dinner?"

"I-um sure," being completely caught off guard you weren't sure what to say. The girls happily walked with you to the kitchen and you sat with them quietly.

"Look Sara, about what you saw-"

"What about it?" Sara responded playfully.

"We've all been there with him, now it's your turn. Dont feel bad." She laughed as you felt a kick to your gut. You knew Negan had many wives and fooled around with everyone but you still didnt like hearing it.

"He did that with all of us, whenever one of us were new, we were his main priority for a certain time." She lied through her teeth, she knew none of them ever got personal treatment this way. She saw the disappointment in your eyes.

"Oh. I understand." Your expression quickly changing, the girls could tell you liked Negan and was hurt by what you heard.

Their plan of pretending to be nice to you to gain trust was working, the things they told you of Negan made you never want to speak to him. You felt like a fool falling for his words, how could you be so dumb? The man had so many wives and you for some reason thought you were special? Walking outside with them after dinner instantly caught Negans attention. He frowned and squinted his eyes from where he was watching you speak to his wives. Negan had a funny feeling about this and didnt like the sight of it.

"Oh shit, hes coming," you heard one of the girls whisper when Negan suddenly showed up before all of you, his eyes directly on you.

"Ladies."

"Hi, Negan," they all spoke together while you stayed silent making him step up to you.

"I dont get a hello, Valentina?"

"Negan," you muttered low making him look at the other women strangely.

"Valentina....I'd like to have a talk with you. Alone."

"I'd rather not."

"I didnt ask," he shot back making you look up at him. Looking back at his wives as Negan walked ahead, you could tell they were annoyed but, what could you do. Quietly you followed Negan far from where his wives stood before he turned to you with a very serious look.

"I dont want you talking to them."

"Why not?"

"Cause I said so. I dont trust it," you scoffed rolling your eyes.

"What dont you trust? That they're making me see you for who you really are?"

Negan frowned stairing down at you, his eyes looking directly into yours.

"What are they telling you about me?" He spoke low leaning his face close to yours.

Before you could respond Sara suddenly appeared besides both of you.

"Negan I have to tell you something."

"God dammit Sara, havent you learned-"

"I'm pregnant," you gasped at her words. A heart sinking feeling as you felt a knot in your throat. Sara was desperate to push you away in any way she could.

"Excuse me?" Negan looked at her puzzled as he walked towards her slowly.

"I-I should go." You began to walk away before Negan reached back and grabbed your arm without turning back to you.

"No Valentina. Stay right here. Now, what the fuck did you say, Sara?"

"I'm- I'm pregnant, Negan."

"Bullshit," he responded coldly.

"What the fuck do you think you're trying to do?" He spoke with a low angry voice, he knew exactly what Sara was up to and he wasnt going to let it happen.

"Its true, I am."

"I havent touched you in over a month."

"Did you forget that time in the supply closet?" She asked with wicked eyes, you looked away in shock, feeling disgust.

"Oh you want to play that fucking game with me?" Negan yelled at Sara charging towards her as she stared up at him boldly.

"Go back to the fucking room. Get the hell out of my face." Sara looked over at you in disapproval before storming off back inside. Negan turned back to find you with glossy eyes, he could tell you were attempting to hold back tears.

"Valentina-"

"I should've known. I knew you was a womanizer, a man with many-many wives." You struggled to express yourself properly.

"Val, shes lying. I havent touched her since I met you. I didnt want to."

"My name is Valentina," you snapped at him with your accent emphasizing on your name.

"And it doesnt matter, we are not you know...um a couple or whatever-"

"We can be."

"I dont want to be one of your wives!"

"I dont want you as one of them god dammit, I dont even want them!" Negan yelled making you silent. You didnt know what to believe with everything they had told you.

"I just want to go to my room." You responded in a calm manner as you looked away.

"Then go," Negan walked off angrily that you wouldnt believe him, angry that he ever lived the way he did at all. Quietly you went off to your room just wanting to cool off. Negan headed to where the wives were to discipline them and happened to walk into the hallway hearing them talk their next plan out.

"We have to get rid of her, hes not giving up on her and shes-"

"Shes not going to leave, she has nowhere to go, " Sherry responded.

"And Negan sure as hell wont make her leave. We're stuck with her."

"Unless......unless we do something to her." Sara suggested as Negan over heard with a straight face.

"What do you mean do something to her? Like hurt her?" Susan asked in excitement.

"Yeah, I mean, Negan wont know. He can just think it's an accident." Negan pressed his lips together angrily at the thought of anyone hurting you.

"What do you girls say?" Sara asked looking at all of them eager for a response. It didnt take long for them all to agree. Negan had a rule to never hurt women, but hearing them even think of hurting you made him want to bend some rules.

"We'll just get her one day while Negans out of the sanctuary. Trick her into being alone with us-" The women suddenly gasped at the sound of Negan entering the room.

"Negan, we weren't expecting you," Sara laughed nervously hoping he hadn't heard anything.

"Oh, I know that," Negan responded sarcastically as he stood before them.

"I needed to have a talk with you ladies. Now you ladies know what one of my number one rules are, dont you?"

"Yeah, to not do any harm to women." Lisa responded confidently.

"Exactly, now what are some things I hate?" Negan stepped closer in a very slow manner.

"Lies," responded one wife.

"Being crossed," responded another as Negan slowly pulled out his gun.

"Exactly! Now do you ladies know what this is?" They watched as he placed a silencer on his gun before pointing it at a random space.

"Is that a-" before Sherry could finish he pointed the gun at Lisa and shot her dead making all of them scream.

"So I heard from a little bird that you guys had a plan." Negan pointed again and shot Sherry.

"Shit-" Sara muttered in fear in shock at the cold blooded action Negan was taking.

Quietly you sat on your bed not being able to stop thinking about Negan. Were you actually starting to have feelings for this man? Maybe you should've let him really express himself to you, you knew those women didnt like you after all. With a sigh you stood up and decided to go find Negan and really have a one on one conversation with him.

Negan had by now shot down everyone besides Sara, terrified she put her hands up as Negan walked towards her.

"You thought you could cross me and get away with it?" Negan smirked as she shook her head.

"I...I apologize. I p-p-promise I wont-"

"A little to late for that dont you think?"

Walking towards the main room you could see the door cracked so you knew he was in there. Just as you reached the door you slowly opened it to a sight you would never forget.

"Ne-" you gasped just as Negan pulled the trigger and shot Sara through the head. You let out a scream covering your mouth in shock, Negan turned to you as you observed what was before you.

"Valentina," the look of complete terror in your eyes you couldnt believe what you saw. Visibly shaking, your eyes fell on him then back to his gun still in his hand. Quickly putting it away he took a step forward making you scream taking a step back. Negan could tell he had just instilled fear into you, fear of him.

"Valentina, sweetheart.. I can explain."

Not saying a word as you struggled to breathe you slowly took another step back before making a quick run for it.

"Valentina!" Negan yelled running after you catching you from behind in the middle of the hallway. You screamed as he covered your mouth and held you against him not letting you go.

"I'm not gonna hurt you!" He yelled as you cried trying to get away from him before he pulled you down on the floor against him.

"Shh, listen to me," his hand still over your mouth as he held your arms down around you.

"I had to do it," Negan whispered in your ear out of breath. He could feel you trembling against him, he hated knowing he made you feel this way.

"You think I wanted to do that? You know I dont hurt women but...those women wanted to hurt you. And I wasnt going to fucking allow that." You cried trying to push his hands away, you didnt believe him.

"I know you're scared but you have to trust me dammit!" Negan having more strength than you exhausted you, finally you gave up out of breath against him. Feeling you relax in his arms he slowly dropped his hand away from your mouth. Hesitantly you looked back at him in a way you had never looked at him before.

"No.. don't do that." He whispered looking down at you.

"Dont look at me like I'm a damn monster," you couldnt help noticing the blood splatter on the bottom side of Negans face before looking back into his eyes.

"You killed those women..." you spoke in a shaky voice.

"You werent suppose to see that."

Shaking your head in disbelief you kept picturing all four of their bodies laying dead on the floor. You couldnt believe the same man so gentle with your wound could do so much damage. You had no idea the kinds of things Negan had done.

"No....I-this isnt right.." you slowly began to push yourself away before quickly standing up and rushing off. Just wanting to get away from him you ran into a random room not realizing it was his bedroom. Before you could rush back out Negan entered and locked the door behind him.

"Now you're gonna hear me."

"Negan, please I want to go. Please." You began to cry as he walked towards you with deeply knitted brows.

"You think I'm gonna hurt you?" You couldnt look him in the eye as he stood inches away from you.

"Those women wanted you dead which is why they're dead and you think I'd fucking hurt you?" Slowly blinking through your tears you looked up at him hesitantly.

"Dead?" You whispered confused.

"Yes they wanted you dead and they were going to hurt you the next time I wasnt around and I would've killed them then too." Looking down you noticed the view of his gun, instantly making you uncomfortable. Negan followed your eyes and could tell it made you feel unsafe.

"You want me to put it away, then will you fucking listen to me?"

Without you saying a word he slowly pulled it out of his pocket and hid it in a drawer beside him.

"Why?" You suddenly asked looking up at him innocently.

"Why what?"

"Why for me...you do this? I dont understand I-"

"I thought I made myself clear about that, sweetheart." Negan slowly stepped closer to you not wanting to frighten you.

"I cant help when a woman catches my eye and I haven't had a woman catch my eye in a long fucking time."

Got cut off with this post, I'll post part 2 in a bit!

#jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead negan #negan x you #negan fan fiction #negan twd #twd fic

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laboflove · 4 years ago

Text

Oikawa & Iwa X FR

•Aged up•

Word Count- 2363

❗Warnings❗{Smut, angst, praising, infatuation, ridiculing, cheating, body shaming}

A/N: Thicc Y/N who's dating Oikawa and although he says he loves her it doesnt seem that way.

He smiles as he sees your eyebrows pushed together, you were always so cute when you were angry, he just wanted to keep making fun of you to see that face. "Tooru" you suddenly say making his smile fade, "Yeah?" He says confused and your phone buzzes, "Nevermind, I have to go, Iwa is here" you say then kiss his cheek before leaving.

A frown forms on his face as he sees you walk off, you were always hanging out with Iwaizumi. It made him mad because you were HIS girlfriend not Iwaizumi's. He huffs then leaves as well, whatever, hed just make you remember how great it is to date him.

You walk in to find him on your bed and he smiles, "Hey" you both say, you climb onto the bed forgetting about today at work and he pulls you onto his chest. "Did you gain weight? Damn" he says with a chuckle making the thoughts come back, "I think, I'll lose it dont worry" you whisper as you move off and onto the side.

He pulls you close, his hands trailing your body making you anxious, you werent skinny like other girls, you had curves and Oikawa would always tease you about it, middle school to now and you always tried to lose weight but youd gain it back. An endless cycle and honestly the last thing you wanted right now was for him to be touching you like this.

Yet you dont stop him, instead closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep but his hands get more touchy, soon enough spreading your legs. "Not tonight Tooru" and his frown appears again, that's the second time this week you've called him that. "Okay" he says then turns around and you both fall asleep, one angry and confused and the other filled with dark thoughts.

"I just dont understand, shes been calling me Tooru this entire week, why?" He says as he passes the ball to Iwa, "Its your name" He says making him huff. He knew it was his name but you've never called him that before, so why now?!

"I dont like it, she never calls me that so why now? Did I do something wrong?" He says and Iwa stops, "You always make fun of her, im surprised she hasn't dumped you yet" and Oikawa's mouth goes dry. His biggest worry, something he never wants to happen, for you two to break up, you meant everything to him, youd always lift him up, give him pointers and take care of him. You couldn't leave him, you're all he had.

"S-she knows I'm just kidding, I don't mean any of it" he says then the ball flies towards him, "Iwa-!", "It always sounds like you mean it, you tell her shes fat, that shes not pretty enough, that she isnt smart, terrible shit but you never say that you're just kidding. Even then you shouldnt say shit like that to someone who already deals with criticism as it is, you especially shouldn't say it to her because shes your goddam girlfriend" he leaves and Oikawa clenches his fists.

"Hey!" And he looks back, "Do you like her?!" He yells out earning a nod making his blood boil, "I've liked her since middle school, even more in high school and the most right now, but she made the stupidest decision on dating you" and he walks off again.

"Youd never leave me right?" He asks as he rests his head on your chest, you dont answer making him look up with dim eyes, "You would?" He asks and you sigh, "If something were to happen yes but just breaking up with you for no reason would not happen" and he nods. "Um, what would be the reason?" He whispers remembering the conversation with Iwa, "If one of us cheats, I'd never do it but well..." you stop and he looks up at you.

"I-im sorry, I'll never hurt you like that ever again, so please dont leave me" you nod then place a kiss on his head.

He looks back at the tv but hes barely focusing on it, only remembering that night. He was drunk, saying terrible stuff and when he woke up he found you in front of him, sitting down, looking super tired and your eyes were so dry and red. He didnt know why till he looked around and found unfamiliar clothes, women's clothes.

You didnt talk to him about it, none of you brought it up and soon you were both back to normal but he knew that all trust created was gone.

His thoughts are broken by the familiar buzz pattern and you pull the phone to your ear, "Hey" you say with a smile, why cant you smile like that when you talk to him? Why doesnt your voice get all cute and soft with him? Why is it only with Iwa?

"Oh I'm with Oikawa" you say as your hand runs through his hair, he smiles and even more as you rest it on his cheek. "I-iwa" your hand twitches slightly and he can feel your aura change, "Dont call me until your done with that crap, God, you're worse than Oikawa" you put your phone down and he looks up at you.

"What's wrong?" He asks but you shake your head, "Its nothing, just Iwa being a bit of an asshole" he nods and you look at the tv.

"He doesnt love you, he says all that shit which he shouldnt be saying, what if he cheats on you again huh? "

You let out a sigh then close your eyes, uh oh, you're pissed.

"Hey" you hear, turning around you see them and shoot a smile, "Hey guys" you say as you slowly come to a stop. "Whatre you doing here?" One asks, "Oh uh well you know working out" you say and they nod. "Any specific reason? You look perfect already" you laugh making them confused, "Yeah right, if I was Oikawa wouldnt judge me 24/7" you say and they tilt their heads.

"Anyways, I'm gonna get back to this" you say with a small smile and they head to the other side, "Whatre you thinking?" Akaashi asks as Bokuto glares in your direction. "I'm thinking that I want to kill Oikawa", "As much as I'd love to help you do that, its illegal" he says and he huffs. "Only if i get caught".

"Whatre you doing?" He asks as his arms wrap around your waist, you step off and you smile, "Yes" you say and he rubs your stomach, it's not as squishy as before. "I finally lost 15 pounds" you whisper with a large smile and although he should be congratulating you it doesnt make sense. "Whyd you lose weight?" He asks and you look back, "For you, you wanted me to lose it remember?" You say and he looks at you in the mirror.

"I'll love you no matter what", "Haha, yeah right Mr. I want a trophy wife who's beautiful and perfect" you say then move away, his heart clenches hearing you say the words he regrets telling you. He didn't want anyone but you.

"Y-you know I love you right?" He says and you look at him, you dont say anything making his heart break. "I do Tooru, it's just hard to believe" and he looks down, "Okay".

"Y/N" he says for the thousandth time this night, "Are you even listening to me?! It's like you dont care about me! You're always off with Iwaizumi doing God knows what! Why cant you just love me! Only me!" The tears keep falling but you dont look back and you dont let a sob escape. For three days it's been like this, him finding anything to ridicule about and making sure you knew how terrible of a girlfriend you were.

You stand then look at the tree your parents gave you, well it was meant for both of you, something to resemble your love for each other, always growing and alive till death.

A sigh escapes your lips and you walks up to it, "Just as I suspec-", "If I cut this down does that mean were done too?" You ask surprising him. "What does that mean?" He asks and you turn to look at him, "I want to break up" and he looks down. You're crying, you're actually crying, hes never seen you cry, you always refused to look at him whenever you did so hes never got to see it and he wishes he never did.

"Why?", "Why? Why?! Why else Tooru?! Every second I spend with you hurts me! The love in our relationship cant even compare to the amount of pain there is! You give me so much shit and i try to be better, i try to become someone perfect for you but theres always something! I dont love Iwa like I love you! I never have! I only love you but it's like you dont think i do! Even though you're the one that cheated! You're the one that broke the trust! I should've broke up with you before!" You cover your mouth realizing what you just said and you look away.

You were right but why did you say all that stuff to him, he looks at you but quickly looks away. "I'm leaving" you say then rush past him, "W-where are you going?" He asks as he follows you upstairs, you couldn't leave, not like this. He has to say sorry, he has to fix it, he cant lose you!

"I dont know but I cant stay here" you pack stuff up as you avoid his hands, "No" he suddenly says as you reach for the front door. "Bye" you leave in a rush and he looks around, "NO! GET BACK HERE!" and he falls to ground. It actually happened, you left him, you left him and it's his fault, who's going to love him now? Who's going to help him when he gets sick and who's he going to tease?

He leans in as he holds you close, "I love you" he whispers but you stop him, "Its been two months yet you still push me away", "I didnt have sex with Tooru till we were five months in" you say but he doesnt stop, "Oh c'mon, you know you want to so ju-", "Can you stop? I'm really not in the mood for anything like this" you say as you push his hands away from your stomach and thighs.

"Oh I get it" he says as he pins your hands above your head, "You think I'm like Oikawa, that I'll point out your flaws, that I'll think you're ugly, that I dont actually want you" he says into your ear and you look away, he was right and you both knew that. "Well guess what, we all have flaws, I dont think you're ugly and damn do I want you" he kisses you hard but your squirm in his embrace.

"N-no Iwa stop" you let out with a soft moan as he rubs his knee against your clothed heat, "Why? We both want this, you just cant admit it" his tongue trails up your neck as you resist him only making him want you more. "So soft and you always smell so good" he murmurs as you grind against his knee although your mind is saying you dont want this.

"So pretty, especially these moans" desperate whines leave your mouth as he slowly undresses you, "Heh, I think we should take this to the bed" he says as he looks down at your naked body.

Your arms cover yourself as much as they can as he lifts you bridal style, "M-maybe we should wait, i-i should lose a few m-", "Shut the hell up or else I will tie you up" you nod fast and he places you on the bed. "Fuck me" you turn red seeing his eyes take you in, he reaches for his shirt and you move up to help him but he pushes you down making you bounce a bit.

"Stay right there" he undresses as you watch, once hes done he spreads your legs making your body heat up and filling you with so many emotions. "So perfect" he says as he pushes in slowly, you hiss slightly at the feeling you havent felt in such a long time. "Ah- no, Haji-!" He thrusts harder and faster making the frame hit the wall, over and over.

"So warm, so tight and it feels so good" moans leave his mouth making you bite your lip, this felt so different, way too different. "Dont think about him" he says as he thrusts hard sending your eyes wide open, "I-I dont know how he fucked you, or if hes a goddamn sub but dont! Fucking! Think about him!" He growls out with a thrust each time, feeling angry that even now you're still thinking about him. "Sorrysorrysorry!"

Pants leave his mouth as cries leave yours, "God I love you, I love you so much" he mutters as he looks at your pink cheeks and tears falling down your face, he lowers next to your ear as one hand holds your thigh as the other holds your head close to him. "I love the way you just clamp around me" his hips slow down, grinding against you, "I feel like coming every time I thrust into you, that's how good you feel" you tighten around him as the praises keep coming.

Why did this feel so good? Just his words were getting you there and it was so embarrassing that he made you feel this way. "I just cant believe that the woman I've loved since I was 13 is finally mine, that were here together and you're in my arms" he stops to kiss you and you sniffle slightly, "You can come now" a soft cry fills the room as you come and he thrusts a bit more leading to groans and a warm feeling in your core.

"You're mine, only mine".

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi smut

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blxetsi · 4 years ago

Text

modern levi ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

levi ackerman x gn!reader

- firstly, lets get love language out of the way

- i think his love language would be acts of service

- so like, he'll brew your coffee for you and set out your favourite mug when he goes to the kitchen to make his tea (bc we all know he'd wake up earlier than you 🙄)

- or he'll pick up a muffin from your favourite bakery on his way home

- or if you ask him to remind you to do something later, he's immediately writing it out on a sticky note and sticking it somewhere youd notice

- he notices youre getting low on your favourite moisturizer ? or lipbalm ? he's taking a picture of the packaging and getting it the next time he drives past walmart or smth

- he just does little things that help make your day better

- now i feel like a lot of people say this already, but he is NOT very comfortable with public displays of affection

- its not that he doesnt like it when you touch him, or hold his hand, or kiss his cheek, he just gets flustered and feels like everyone is watching you two

- but one thing he does allow is looping your arms together while you walk, especially in crowded streets

- it doesnt mean he doesnt like being close with you, he just hates doing it public. when youre alone ? hes ALL OVER YOU.

- "will you play with my hair ?"

- "levi im working."

- "okay can you multitask ?" motherfucker 😐

- doesnt matter if hes the big spoon or little spoon, just being close to you is enough.

- also would try and get used to your love language

- if your love language is physical touch hes genuinely surprised by how many times you put his hands on him each day (NOT in a sexual way) like even his mother never touched him as much and he's a momma's boy 😳

- when you wake up your coming out to the kitchen to fill your coffee, but not before kissing the top of his head as you walk past

- then youre guzzling down your coffee like its water before putting it in the sink and walking back, petting his head in the process

- you'll hug him while hes cooking, or brushing his teeth. youre giving him kisses before he leaves and when he comes home, just little small acts of love, but it happens so frequently that levi cant help but notice it

- your love language is verbal affirmations ? youre getting your coffee while saying "goodmorning beautiful"

- "i love yous" are thrown at him a lot, they never fail to make him feel better

- youll compliment this man and he short circuits for a second, quickly gets used to it as time goes on

- also too i think he'd be taller in a modern au, but not very very tall like erwin, im talking 5'7" to 5'9"

- and he's fine with his height, it doesn't bother him that much, he's the average height of a man so what's the big deal ?

- also he really doesnt care about height either. youre shorter than him ? cool, that means he can bend down to give you little forehead kisses. around the same height as him ? awesome, that makes it easier for him to give you a peck on the lips. taller than him ? mf he'll climb you like a tree if he has to. really doesn't care.

- also doesn't have a preferences for body type or anything. he thinks that character is way more important than looks 100% and he'll always find different things about you beautiful. your laugh is weird ? k now he's making you two watch a john mulaney special to so youll laugh. hate your belly and wanna lose weight, he's holding you and telling you to only lose weight if you genuinely want to be "healthier" and not so you get skinny. your acne scars bother you ? he's kissing your cheeks a lot more than usual, but you can't complain. literally Loves Every Part of You

- also i think his family would absolutely ADORE YOU and his friends for that matter

- miss kuchel is pulling you into a hug the first time she sees you, and is so accomodating and sweet. shes genuinely interested in your interests and what you do for a living, and will NOT hesitate to get levi's baby pictures out if you ask.

- his uncle ? he probably wont be there for the family dinner, but then kuchel's gonna call him up like "levi's s/o ?? absolutely spectacular !!" and then hes like "huh maybe i gotta come visit to see the runt and his lover"

- also i think in a modern au, kuchel wouldve gotten really sick when levi is a boy, so kenny would have came home to take care of his sister and try and take care of levi. in the end she got better, and he went back to his own home, but now she requests that he come for at least one family holidy so they can all spend it together

- BUT back to mr. ackerman

- idk what he'd do in modern times, i used to think he'd be a good english professor for a university, but then i saw a headcanon that he'd go into law school and become a lawyer, and honestly ?? it makes sense

- after a long day at work he just wants to come home to you, he'll find you on the couch reading or doing some of your own work, so he'll just slip off his coat and blazer and undo his tie while slipping off his shoes by the door. before plopping his head in your lap and requesting you to play with his hair.

- if you don't live with him hes taking a shower and then immediately calling you asking to come over. if you can ?? great he'll be in bed waiting to be spooned. if not, thats fine, but levi would like to facetime and rant.

- also has the absolute WORST road rage

- "that little prick cut me off !"

- "levi he's taking his driver's test !"

- "so ? i hope that instructor doesn't give the idiot a pass 🙄" and then will immediately honk his horn at the poor kid.

- also wouldnt be a clean freak like in canonverse. his whole "everything has to be spotless" stuff stems from trauma, specifically being left in an apartment with his decaying mother for weeks on end, but since kuchel is alive that never happens

- were things a little hectic during the time she was sick ? sure ! but kenny always tried to tidy up a bit when he saw it was getting to levi.

- levi just likes things to be neat and tidy, he doesnt do a deep clean of his apartment every two weeks, but always makes sure to clean up his messes as soon as they happen

- also doesnt like to fight

- his mom raised him with the idea that communication is key, and always encouraged him to "explain why hes upset" so they could work together to come up with a solution

- its something hes taken with him to adulthood, and even though sometimes he sounds like hes talking to a child when hes trying to get you to "use your words" he really doesnt mean to

- if youre yelling at him he'll stand there like 😐 and wait until youre out of breath so he can say "okay lets talk about this"

- is also very handy

- have a hole in your wall ? hes coming over to fix it

- need a lightbulb changed ? hes got u dont worry

- you need to assemble a piece of furniture ? he glances at the step by step guide once before hes putting it together

- hes so great at that stuff, and you only have kenny to thank

- literally when kenny first came to stay with levi and kuchel when she was sick, the kitchen light went out and he asked levi to screw another lightbulb in, the poor kid stood there like 🤨 and when kenny said "what ? you don't know how to change a fucking lightbulb ?" levi shook his head and said "uncle kenny im seven 😐"

- kenny was APPALLED. and immediately made it his mission to make levi as handy as himself.

- also, dates with him are rlly lowkey.

- he likes being in your company, so staying home and ordering take out is AWESOME in his opinion. sometimes he'll dress up and make a fancy meal with you.

- if you like going to carnivals and stuff, he's reluctant but eventually caves. wins you a lot of the prizes.

- "fuck. this shit is rigged y/n"

- "sorry levi, lets go do something else !"

- "what ? no. give me another dollar im getting you that fucking turtle"

- hange always wants to see you. levi makes it his life mission to keep you away from them as much as possible. not because he doesnt want you to get along with his friends, just because he knows that hange will spill some embarassing secrets from his college days.

- erwin ? hes okay but hes on thin fucking ice.

- also is very gentlemanly. will not only hold the door for you but for everyone. hes waiting in line for his order and someone comes up behind him and asks him to scootch so they can get some napkins ? mf its grabbing a handful himself and handing it to the person, wishing them a nice day with a small smile. hes just like,, a genuinely good person

- his singing voice ? immaculate. will he sing for you ? no.

- he also loves playing board games with you. like chess or checkers. you love playing board games with him and his friends, specifically monopoly. hange makes moblit form an alliance with them. mike is a lone wolf, and erwin and levi are always helping each other out until erwin betrays him. lots of trust is ruined between these game nights, but you literally cant bring yourself to care because its so fun to watch it unfold

this is my first headcanon thingy !! im v excited !! hope u all enjoyed 🤩✨ should i do more headcanons like these ???

- all in all, levi is a cool guy, and a cool bf.

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #attack on titan x reader #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #eren yeager #eren jaeger

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