#if anything is going to get me to quit teaching someday it will most likely be the parents

[tenthdoctxr]

lmao sometimes dealing with the parents of my students is way worse in comparison to dealing with the students themselves 🙂

[livelaughlovesubs]

oooh jjk men with a masc, androgynous gf who wears their clothes bfkwbfkwen

OHHH SOUNDS GREAT but there are so many Jjk men, so I won’t list all of them. Feel free to request for more after the first of June

Jjk x androgyn/ masc leaning reader

Features: gojo, Geto, Choso, Nanami, Toji

So to get this straight, I think most of them wouldn’t mind you stealing their clothes, as long as you do give it back someday. But Gojo? He’s filthy rich anyway, he doesn’t give a damn. Keep them if you want, he can just buy new ones. Heck, he might even start matching the clothes he buys with your style! An indirect way of gifting you new things. If you confronted him about it, he’d just say he changed styles. This is surprisingly considerate of him, isn’t it? Well to be honest, he just likes the thought of you wearing things he brought. Or basically bathing in his property (money). Also if you likes it, he’d definitely support you.

Geto had a short period where he was pretty broke, after he quit his career as a sorcerer. (My headcanon at least) This led to him only borrowing his clothes to you. He’s not being petty or something, cuz he has money now. It has just become a habit. Anyway his closet has many traditional clothes, but also comfortable street wears. Most of it is black though, so if you like other colours too.. Welp. And he wears a lot of baggy pants, so if you are not as tall as him, they might not fit. I think he’d find it quite endearing if you dressed up in the same theme as him, or tried his clothes on like you were shopping for new ones.

Choso only has that one outfit. Don’t take it away from him pls. (Sorry not sorry). But let’s assume he has more or whatever. Literally would not care unless there aren’t any clothes left for him. Then he’d mention it to you, about how if you don’t bring them back he won’t go out anymore. Up until that point though, yea, he wouldn’t mind. That guy’s chill with you stealing them. To be honest he isn’t that knowledgeable about society’s norms for genders. So if you are a woman, dressing very masculine or tomboyish, he’s not think anything about it. The same other way around. Bro’s been locked up for so long, as if he knows anything about ‘how to be a REAL girl’, or ‘how to be an Alpha sigma male’.

Nanami would actually be annoyed at times, cuz he put them away so clean-ly, folding and storing them away with order. Then you just make a mess, take it all out and throw it onto the bed or over a chair after you are done. He wouldn’t mind it too much anymore if you put everything back onto their previous place. But he didn’t gave you permission to use his clothes, did he? (he never told you to stop neither.) In my humble opinion, I imagine he’d teach you how to dress clean, in case you didn’t know. Like tying a tie in ten different ways, or what shoes fits which dress shirt. Otherwise he’s all about ‘do what you want, I literally don’t care as long as you don’t disrupt me’.

Same as Choso, but without plausible excuses, Toji also only has one outfit that he wears everyday. He literally got those 3 dollar flats at a second hand shop or stole them. His only excuse is his wife died, him being homeless and broke are not good reasons. Anyway, if this man did own a few more shirts and pants, he’d say something along the lines of, “take them off, they aren’t yours,” or, “the fuck are you doing???” Though like, if you said no and that you want to keep wearing it, he would grimace but not stress it further. As long as you won’t steal them and keep his clothes for yourself, he needs them too. Sometimes it would remind him of some past memories, and he won’t be able to hold back a soft smile.

[deathblacksmoke]

Cyanide | Part 1

Pairing: Nick Ruffilo x Musician!OFC (Shaun)

Summary: 2000s-era local band AU. Nicky meets Shaun — older, cooler, a better bassist, a little mean. She’s nonchalant. He couldn’t be more enamored.

CW: smoking, cursing (content warnings updated by chapter)

Word Count: 1.5K

dividers by @saradika-graphics 🖤

title and inspo from “cyanide” by creeper.

He’s never seen her here before. The small crowds of a couple dozen they draw in are normally quite the same — new faces every now and again, but no one is ever quite as remarkable as she is.

Her black hair is thrown messily into a bun atop her head, smudged black eyeliner, effortlessly gorgeous. She throws her head back into a laugh and he finds himself unable to place his focus on any one thing — her deep red lipstick juxtaposing with her bright white teeth, the elongated column of her neck as her head tips back, the faintest peek of black lace over the neckline of her low-cut white tank top. He doesn’t spend even a moment fantasizing about kissing marks into her skin in the dip where her neck meets her shoulder, or all along her collarbones.

He can only think that he needs to know her. He only knows that if he leaves here tonight without buying her a drink, or at the very least getting her name, he’ll never forgive himself. 

He finds himself so entranced that it takes him a moment to realize he’s zoned out and playing out of time. Once he’s recovered and his eyes have refocused, she’s nowhere to be found.

His heart sinks. It feels a little pathetic that a couple minutes of eyeing a pretty girl was enough to ruin his focus, even more so that her disappearance was enough to destroy it completely. He’s thankful he only has one more song to power through before he can find some way to fix his head.

“I saw the most amazing girl,” he tells Folio when he joins him at the bar. “During our set. Did you see her?”

Folio fixes him with a blank stare, and if he’s supposed to be picking up on a hint, he can’t seem to find it. Folio rolls his eyes before finally responding.

“I don’t know how you think I can see anything from my kit with Lurch here in front of me,” Folio responds, pointing back at Noah and receiving a slap to the back of his head. “Tell me about her.”

He doesn’t know where to start — his mind draws blank. Her hair, her skin, her laugh that he swears he can hear if he tries hard enough. He can’t believe he let himself lose sight of her. 

“She’s perfect,” he offers, not allowing himself to feel embarrassed, even when Folio bursts into laughter.

He turns his attention back to the stage when the next band starts, and she’s the last thing he expects. He can get a better idea of her when she’s up there — it takes all of his effort to keep himself from going slack-jawed. She’s so tall, a little domineering, so sure in her movements. She’s magnificent.

His mind empties, his focus narrowing on her fingers, the way they move expertly and effortlessly over the strings. He feels like an amateur as he regards her, embarrassed that she saw him play when she can play like this. He fantasizes briefly about her teaching him someday, how to be that good, before his brain involuntarily shifts to thoughts of her fingers tangling tightly in his hair, his name falling prettily from her lips.

He feels less ashamed than he should as he watches her, sitting on a curb and laughing with her friends before curling her lips around her cigarette. Her pretty hands look even prettier this way, but his gaze flits instead to the way the plump skin of her thighs fights against her black tights, flesh spilling through the rips. He feels like a creep, turning his attention back to Jolly, who’s fixed him with a knowing look.

“I shouldn’t go say hi, right?”

“If I said no, would you listen to me?” Jolly responds and Nick realizes that nothing could keep him from approaching her. Not his shaking hands, not his rapidly worsening nausea, nothing.

He has to know her name, at least.

It’s daunting, but he loads up his best attempt at a casual opening line, waits for her friends to disperse, and crosses the lot to her.

“Can I bum a cig off you?” he asks. The look of disdain she fixes him with shrinks him more than her bellowing laughter ever could.

“You’re kind of precious, aren’t you?” she sneers, tilting her head as she regards him. While he knows the intent was to wound him, the way she eyes him fills his tummy with butterflies. “I can see the pack in your pocket. What do you want?”

He feels a little frozen in place as he considers his next move. She intimidates him far more than he’d anticipated, and as she’s looking at him expectantly, he feels awfully small.

“Can I sit with you?” he finally asks, relief flooding through him when she rolls her eyes and nods, motioning to the curb beside her.

Every other line he had planned disappears the moment he sits down next to her. He’s placed himself a touch too close — their thighs touch and his body is on fire. He doesn’t deserve to be graced with her presence.

“Are you gonna say anything, or just sit there shaking?” she asks, a lightness to her tone — she hands over her cigarette, to settle his nerves, he thinks. He accepts it readily, taking a drag and not at all thinking about his lips touching where hers have, the ring of lipstick and how it may be the closest he’ll get to a kiss.

“I’m Nick,” he settles on, his shakes calming as he hands the cigarette back.

“Shaun,” she responds, lips curling into a reluctant smile.

Their fingers brush when she offers another drag of her cigarette and he feels set alight. He’s dizzy in her presence, at once eased by her dazzling smile and worried he’ll fuck it up again at any moment. 

“You’re in the band who played before us,” she offers, filling the empty space he’d left. “Y’all aren’t bad.”

The tiny sting must be clear on his face, fading immediately as she softens and rushes to ease the hurt.

“No, no, you’re good,” she starts, and it’s a little disingenuous, but the effort is important. “Just a little too Taking Back Sunday for my taste.”

He’s sure his expression betrays him, hurt washing over his face involuntarily, his eyebrows downturning at the edges in the way he can never control. He likes to think they’re more Glassjaw, but he doesn’t argue his point, positive he’ll only get his feelings hurt worse. Even if she’s not trying. 

“I like Taking Back Sunday,” he settles for instead. A smile spreads across her face, crinkling the edges of her eyes, and he wants to make her do that again and again.

“God, you’re like a kicked puppy. It’s kind of adorable,” she responds, and his heart leaps. He couldn’t have imagined how much he enjoys being made to feel small by her, the way there’s a lilt of endearment when she points out the things she finds outrageous. The way her hand drifts subtly up his thigh, before disappearing, certainly helps. “Well, Nick, I’m gonna head out. I’ve got an early day tomorrow.”

She stands up from the curb, straightening the denim skirt that had ridden up high on her thighs. His vision doesn’t blur, but it’s an awfully close call. He stands up with her, determined to draw this out, or make sure he gets to have it again.

“Can I put my number in your phone?” he asks, and her eyes roll like she had been expecting it, her head tipping back, and her scoff makes his heart race. The humiliation creeps right back. “So I can see you again.”

“I don’t have a cell phone,” she says, and of course she doesn’t. From anyone else it would sound like a line, a lie to get them off easy, but with her it makes sense. He shouldn’t be surprised. She stomps their shared cigarette out with the toe of her Docs and he doesn’t mourn it. Her finger grazes the back of his hand and it burns him. She starts walking away and he’s ready to admit defeat, accept that watching her walk away from him will be his last simple pleasure, before she stops to look over her shoulder and offer him a scrap. “You can find me in the White Pages.”

She’s halfway across the lot when it sets in what she actually just offered him.

“The fucking phone book?!” he shouts, throwing his arms up in defeat. He doesn’t know when he last saw a phone book. “I don’t even know your last name!”

“You’ll find me if you want me!” he hears her shout back, but she doesn’t bother to turn back around. It’s followed by the bellowing laughter that he swore he could have heard earlier.

She slips into a black Grand Am that looks just like her, peels out of the parking lot. Her laughter echoes in his head even now, and he’s sure it will continue until he gets to hear it again. He can only hope.

He makes his way back over to his friends, their faces amused but he doesn’t let himself feel embarrassed. Not with how high he feels, how drunk he is on her.

“Do any of y’all have a phone book?”

let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future fics <3

tags: @circle-with-me @darksigns-exe @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens @sitkowski

@somebodyels3 @broken0mens @collapsedglasshouses @cookiesupplier @abiomens

@monotoniscreaming @bngurngheart @agravemisstake @iknownothingpeople @anameunmusical

@itsafullmoon @somewhere-diamond @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @fadingangelwisp

@cncohshit

[pola-rola]

I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair ~♪ Thank you so much for the templates, @ai-kan1 <3

Based on no character in particular, a ghost that roams the halls, finding joy and solace in scaring new students and "fixing" potions. Although he was orientated by a mirror to Pomefiore, he is not particularly tied to this specific dorm, and sees no harm in regularly visiting other dorms, including Ramshackle, where his three oldest closest friends reside. (Although Ignihyde is definitely his favorite because it has spinning chairs there lol) ___________

June was a self-motivated and confident child from an early age. The absence of a family did not stop him from immersing himself in his studies, so that over time he could proudly show the world the results of his hard work. So the appearance of the Black Carriage in front of him was the happiest moment in his short life. Of course, the coolest, strongest and most responsible Headmage is there! Maybe he will take him under his wing and teach him everything that will help him become just as amazing? Well.. The boy was disappointed. In any case! Pomefiore was not the dorm he was hoping for, but who cares, he will become the coolest in any dorm, and soon he will take the place of the housewarden, right? Overblot. Not his. Some student. Too strong, to the detriment of himself and others. The entire school was terrified of this terrible incident. Luckily, no one was seriously injured. No one, except for one freshman, poor thing, what bad luck…

"He was controlling some black spikes or something… I remember one of those things flying straight towards my head and that's go dark... When I opened my eyes, the sky was clear again and I was surrounded by ghosts. They were sympathizing with me and complaining about how young and unlucky I was. I have no idea where my body is, although I guess I don't need it anymore." ____________

Dom. hand: None "Have you ever felt like both your hands are left?" During life, June was right-handed. As a ghost, both of his hands seemed to stop working well. He could still do the usual things, like hold things and stuff. But writing and doing any neat work became difficult, like… Well, like doing anything with your non-dominant hand. - Dislikes: Awkward conversations "Yeah, I was named after a month." "No, "it" wasn't hurt." "No, I'm not going to tell you what it's like to be a ghost." "No, I'm not going to fly right through you on purpose." "What difference does it make to you how old I am?" "Stop asking questions like that!" - Talent: Change body forms

"Something that makes me different from other ghosts"? Oh, you mean my legs? Heh, the perks of being young. And smart, I guess. Study hard and you'll be like me someday. No, that's not what I meant-"

So, my hc is that ghosts can show their full body form (I think ghosts with legs are creepier, by the way), but they don't see the point in it. It also takes energy, and that's what it takes to be visible to humans. June prefers to show his full form, though he modifies it a bit. You don't want to see his ghost like he looked right after the incident, right? He's not a monster to scare poor students THAT much. ̶a̶l̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶ "I'm not actually changing clothes, it's just an illusion." Ghosts remain in the clothes they were wearing when they became ghosts. However, if necessary, they are quite capable of visualizing the outfit that suits the occasion. Something simple, though. Pomefiore uniform appears on him when he gets to the dorm, but in other cases he either wears a school uniform or creates other, simple outfits. By the way, in more "capey" outfits, his bottom looks the same as other ghosts (like the bottom of Eliza's dress), for example in the Ceremonial robes, because its shape is already quite difficult to maintain due to all these patterns.

"Salpa" I'm not Floyd, so it was a bit hard to come up with a fishy nickname right off the bat. Of course, I think "Jellyfish" would suit him better, but since the nickname is already taken, what can you do.. In any case, I dug around on the Internet and found the most ghost-like sea creature IMO. Pretty creepy thing, I tell you…

"Monsieur Badluck"

Cutie-patootie Rook was unshakably convinced that the student from their dorm had fallen proudly in a heroic battle long ago, and not simply died due to his own stupidity and self-confidence. It was hard to talk him out of "Chevalier des Blots" and agree that it was just an unfortunate incident…

His feelings towards Jade is like "Oh, look at that cute smile 😍 Wait, why is he smirking like that 💀 Oh, he's so handsome when he's focused 😍 Wtf of mushrooms is he talking about 💀 You're so cute I love you 😍 What the hell, why are you such a weirdo dude💀"

________ ̶W̶h̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶H̶e̶a̶d̶m̶a̶g̶e̶?̶ _________________________________ phew, that's all. thank you if you read all my chatter here, take a meme („• ֊ •„)

[ambrosiagourmet]

Please go on the Rin family tangent, I'd love to listen to it!

OH I WISH I HAD MORE TO SAY HONESTLY... Mostly it's just in reference to my Rin Masterpost (shameless self promotion!!!), where I talk a bit about the nature of her parents as refugees, and the tidbits we get about the archipelago politics.

Though also, as I have since discovered, the official and fan translations of her parent's history use different words to describe them! I'd love to know more about which way the actual meaning skews... the fan translation calls them refugees, but the official one just says they were "wanderers."

Just from a narrative/character stand point I'm inclined to believe that it is more likely that they left for a reason, partly because "wanderers" is SUCH a vague label and most of the backstory we get in the AB isn't quite so generalized. Also because we do have that one comment about the archipelago being chaotic/at war, on the cover of one chapter, and that's exactly the kind of background detail that would make sense to weave into Rin's backstory imho. I would also somewhat expect more context for how much they traveled/the lifestyle they were living, if it was less a one-time fleeing home thing and more a general practice of travel. But maybe that is just meant to be extrapolated on by the reader. OR MAYBE THEY ARE JUST REFUGEES IDK.

Really I'd just like more insight about that word/description in general. I actually tried to use a kanji search at one point to see if I could find anything myself, but I don't know enough about how to do that properly so I ended up giving up. Maybe someday I'll teach myself more about kanji just so I can figure out Rin's parents' history. It's not out of the question for me tbh.

Anyway as a last note, if they ARE refugees then I'm very curious about the idea that the impact of the possible (it's just my interpretation) Sengoku period setting for Wa extends out to other parts of the archipelago. I mean. it makes sense that it wouldn't just be localized to Wa, given the proximity of the islands and all, but if other parts of the archipelago are meant to draw from other cultures and not ALL just be Fantasy Japan, I'm curious of what the politics of that all looks like. It feels like it could have a basis in real world history rooted in Wa, but then from there could have a lot of potential to spin off into more fictional ideas and Dungeon Meshi specific politics.

Anyway: Rin centric spin-off manga when

[pistatsia]

Don Lorenzo: We all come from childhood (Part 1)

In fact, I have so many questions about Lorenzo that I'm just- I'm not ready to let him go. I love him so much. I really hope that someday we'll get a novel/chapter with him and Snuffy, because otherwise, the world would be too unfair.

He's good, caring, funny, the best, and generally-

Okay, this is where I'll stop and get to the point haha

(Here somewhere I'm looking too deep, somewhere I'm ignoring the farcical setting of Blue Lock. A lot here is based on my own experience (I also was thrown out of home by my parents when I was 13). Some things of course will be misinterpreted since the whole truth is known only by Kaneshiro-sensei. Also, consider the fact that most of the things described here are unconscious)  

1. Relationships/Attachment

Lorenzo is a very loving and grateful person. 

It is evident to anyone that his relationship with Snuffy is imbued with warmth and trust. Lorenzo genuinely loves him, he is willing to do anything for him.

Even his conversation with Barou is initiated in order to get him on Snuffy's side, going through all of his traumas and 'exposing himself' to Barou. Making himself vulnerable, because telling someone that you were once abandoned by your parents is like showing them that you have a flaw that made the most important people in your life disgusted with you. That you're wrong. It's like pointing at your chest and saying 'here's the heart, if you want to hurt me, hit me here'. 

And he's doing all this to help Snuffy.

And it's obvious that Snuffy wouldn't have asked him to do that - it was Lorenzo's initiative. He loves him very much - even though Snuffy isn't perfect, and of course has made his mistakes (which you can't avoid when you're in your late twenties picking up a teenager off the street after a friend's suicide and career collapse). But that's something we'll get back to a little later. 

Lorenzo doesn't pay attention to any of this - he doesn't care what else Snuffy could have given him. He's grateful for what Snuffy has already given him. 

Speaking of his relationship with Barou, it's obvious that they both care for each other equally. Barou isn't rude to him (well, 'not rude' like classic Barou), he accepts him despite all the quirks (I'll come back to that too a bit later), and Lorenzo feels it. For him, Barou is a 'Snuffy' type of person, perfectly accepting and gentle, without the endless pull-push in affection. They're like a reference point that helps ground and gain confidence in the relationship with both of them.

Lorenzo is also quite open in his affections. He has a certain authority within the Ubers, giving them the command to "get to work". He doesn't avoid people or push them away in the fear of intimacy and the pain that follows, but reaches out to them himself. In doing so, he shows no visible fear of being rejected - on the contrary, he behaves as freely and even strangely as possible, without trying to adjust his behaviour to society's standards; behaviour that would make him 'his own'. Remember this moment, because it will be important a bit later.

He adores both Barou and Snuffy so much because they accept him without question. Like, you're like this, so what? 

They accept him absolutely.

But why is that acceptance so important to Lorenzo?

2. Fear of abandonment.

I think it's redundant to say that having experienced this as a child, it's impossible to become a person with a completely healthy type of attachment. His parents, the people who brought him into this world, who were supposed to teach him how to live, feel and love, abandoned him in the street alone, leaving him to survive and starve. In doing so, apparently keeping his other two brothers for themselves. Lorenzo was the only one left behind. Can you imagine how a child feels after something like that? If they were kept and I was abandoned, I'm definitely broken, I'm disfigured on some primal level, I'm always worse.

I was already born wrong.

The fear of rejection is something that is 99% likely for Lorenzo to have. 

Remember his motto: "Give me a job. Give me money. Give me love." What can a man whose most basic desire is love be afraid of? That he'll lose it.

Can you imagine what that does to the psyche? After such events, one can't help but question oneself. What did I do wrong? Why did things happen the way they did? If I had behaved differently, if I had stayed away from my parents, if I had been more obedient, would I have been kept?

Was it all my fault?

And he lived alone with these thoughts not for a day or two - but probably for years. He says that he lived this life already when he 'was little'. These thoughts may have been reinforced afterwards because he began to realize the moral wrongness of what he was doing to survive (stealing). The psyche can be very persistent in convincing us of bad things: you should have found another way, you let everyone down, Snuffy picked up someone who wasn't worth it. 

Beyond that, as much as I like to portray Lorenzo and Snuffy as parent and child in my writing, it's likely that their relationship is more of a friendship. Even the graffiti caption in the moment where Snuffy picks him up says "who finds a friend finds a treasure".

Snuffy probably didn't live with Lorenzo for a long time - I think he picked him up, fulfilled his wishes, and then sent him to treatment and helped him with his football career. That's already a huge gift, and even more so for Lorenzo. They kept in contact, they saw each other often, they probably called each other.

But at the same time Snuffy was playing at a football club and winning trophies, which you can't do if you're not 100% invested. He was on constant travelling between countries and games. He just didn't have time to always be with Lorenzo - and it's likely that Snuffy (who wasn't given the "How to deal with a teenager abandoned by his parents and saved from starvation" manual) might not have thought about it. It would have been fine on his end. Why? Because Lorenzo, especially as a child, would not have shown him that anything was wrong - remembering the way his parents had thrown him out, he wouldn't have let it happen again. He wouldn't talk about his problems, he wouldn't impose, he'd do anything just to please. Just to be comfortable. Maybe even blaming himself for having those needs, because Snuffy already seemed to have done a hundred times more for him than he should have (from his point of view, of course).

He'd do anything to avoid causing trouble - only for not being left behind.

Imagine - getting someone's love, and not being able to feel it all the time? Constantly losing the only person who ever genuinely loved and cared for you and gave you a chance to start a new life, seeing him off on flights and likely for seasons to other clubs (it's not known how long Snuffy played for the Ubers, but it's likely he was under contract with them and then the club loaned him out to leagues in the countries where he wanted those trophies for Mick. Otherwise the chronology between Mick's death, Lorenzo's find and Blue Lock seems too compressed). It's in some ways even scarier than not feeling love at all ever. Because it's far worse to get love and then lose it again and again.

Even so, Snuffy showed him what it feels like to be loved. He gave him purpose and a new life. He gave him an understanding of that healthy basic need that Lorenzo is so eager to fill - the need for love.

But then we look at his behaviour and we have... questions. Why is Lorenzo so embarrassing? Why does he act so defiant? Why doesn't he adjust to others like, for example, Isagi and Hiori, who were also afraid of being alone? It would seem that if you're weird, you'll never be accepted. If you don't fit in, you won't be loved. Yes, we can say that he just still doesn't fit into social norms because he missed the moment of childhood adaptation to this world, and just doesn't know how to do it. But as the conversation with Barou shows, he is capable of being completely serious in the right moments. He consciously behaves the way he is, without holding back.

We can say that Snuffy showed him that he could be loved for nothing, for himself, whatever he was. But still, after experiencing so many rejections Lorenzo would either fixate on Snuffy alone (only he cares about me, and no one else) or still subconsciously withdraw into a passive role in human relationships. Again, making himself comfortable.

But why does he behave like this in spite of this - making jokes about money, meowing and barking (I'm sorry), not shying away from making jokes about rivals and acquaintances? Why is he so uncomfortable for them?

Because the best defence is offence.

Most likely, when he was a kid, Lorenzo did tried to adjust to his parents. And obviously, even if he succeeded, they still ended up abandoning him. His strategy didn't work, and then it probably didn't work while living on the streets either. He tried to secure his safety, to make sure of it, but then he was tossed out of it.

And that's been imprinted on his memory.

It's both a defence mechanism on his part and an unconscious demonstration of "here I am, this is how bad I am". He was already rejected when he tried to fit in - so why try now, especially when he has Snuffy? 

Think of how pejoratively he talks about himself. How he smiles broadly when he talks about his tragic past. He's being deliberately defiant - yes, I believe only money has power in this world, yes, I was a street rat. Why does he say this, if in order to be accepted he has to hide his flaws? Yes, the past may be impossible to hide, but other things?

Because if he says it himself, and if he laughs about it himself, showing that he doesn't care, it won't hurt him so much when others will talk about it. 

He literally shouts with his appearance - that's how I am! I'm ugly inside and out, I'm a mess, I'm wrong! I'm impossible to love!  

Because if he shows it first, he can endure it when someone else says it. 

Are you saying I only care about money, Mihya? Ha, and I already know, I've already said it myself!

In a relationship, Lorenzo is prepared in advance for the fact that sooner or later this, in his opinion, ugly and vile essence in him, because of which his parents abandoned him, will be recognised, and he will be rejected again. And sets himself up a safe base so that this time it won't be as painful for him as it once was with his parents.

He adores Barou and Snuffy so much precisely because they accept this ugly shell without question. Like, here you are, so what? Sure, he probably doubts them on bad days too, but they're still like stable lighthouses for him. 

So we've covered why Lorenzo acts so openly and perhaps even defiantly. It's a perpetual test of boundaries and a way to protect himself from rejection - how much of this will you take from me? Are you sure you're okay with this? Think again. I'm uncomfortable for you. I will always be.

But there's one thing that doesn't fit with his behaviour, even with that said. 

His "There's nothing in this world money can't buy."

He is obsessed with money, explicitly saying that everything in life can be bought with it (of course, this is not necessarily true - sometimes people lie about themselves as well). He judges players by their stakes, and even calls Raichi worthless. But it seems that the love he longs for this much cannot be bought. And Lorenzo is well aware of this - 'money' and 'love' go separately in his motto.

Dissonance, isn't it? Seems strange for a man like him.

So we move on to the next part of the analysis.

3. A price of the man.

I'm actually very interested in Lorenzo's real relationship with money. I'm sure that because of this terrible background he is quite impulsive (I'll tell you more about this in the second part of the analysis), and more specifically impulsive in his purchases. Even if we're talking about ordinary ones - buying a more expensive juice in a shop, choosing an ice cream not on sale, accidentally buying an adult public transport ticket instead of a youth one. Any expense perceived by the psyche as 'unnecessary' must be met with guilt - either suppressed and ignored, or vivid. Because the psyche has no switch between 'here' and 'then'. It's used to reacting to trigger events according to a certain script that once perhaps helped Lorenzo to survive by avoiding unnecessary expenses. Except now everything seems to be fine, right? Money's there.

But you can't explain it to yourself so easily.

Let's go back to Lorenzo's statements about money and his attitude to it. He quite logically, after such a life, believes that money solves many problems, if not all of them. 

But this stance of his goes a little further than the prices of things and services. 

Remember how he was introduced to us as a character? He remembers the price of every player, he mocks Raichi, he's sarcastic in response to Kaiser's claim.

He asks - Michel, if I defeat you, will I be worth more than you?

Lorenzo still believes that people have some mythical 'value' that he alone cannot grasp. His brothers were more valuable than he was. His parents' lives without him were more valuable than he was. Every person who passed him in the street was more valuable than him.

He believes that on his own he was worth nothing - and that's why he was abandoned.

Remember what he says about his little self? Good-for-nothing. But it's not true. Lorenzo was a kid who just couldn't do anything under those circumstances. He didn't need to be good for anything - he needed to grow up and be a happy little kid. And he was robbed of that.

But he still doesn't accept it, mocking it.

The whole Mr Worthless thing with Raichi is an obvious reference to himself. Because he too, from his point of view, was once worthless. I'm worthless, so I don't matter and I'm nothing.

But why is this 'worth' of his so important to Lorenzo, especially now, apart from those people?

Because little children have nothing but themselves, and can give nothing but themselves and their love. But Lorenzo knows that he-child was not enough. He was worthless. He was not loved for who he was. But his brothers were loved. They were 'valuable'.

And this belief remained sitting inside him at a very deep level.

And, believing that on his own he is not worth love and never will be, what can he do but think of a way to still get it?

The way out for him is to 'earn' that love.

In fact, though certainly not intentionally, Snuffy's words probably played a role here as well. A deal, salvation in exchange for a football playing.

This only strengthened these beliefs Lorenzo had about himself and about living with a system of people's 'value'.

Snuffy didn't just give him 'money, work and love'. He gave him a way to earn it all. He gave him a way to gain this mythical 'value' that would guarantee his safety - that he would not be abandoned. 

On his own, he didn't deserve to be saved. 

But what did deserve saving was his talent.

The only thing that Lorenzo thought was valuable about him.

Snuffy's whole philosophy with football - a job that you earn your value with and see it in the form of rates and rental prices - actually suits Lorenzo very well. Because he doesn't feel valuable on his own - only in relation to achievements. And so this semi-comedic treatment of others as money is actually a terrible reflection of his same treatment of himself.

The more he's worth (again, the scene with Kaiser and "will I be worth more than you") the safer he feels.

Lorenzo is sure that he will be abandoned as soon as he makes a mistake and loses his 'value'. And the only way to avoid that is to stay 'valuable'.

Yes, rationally he probably knows that Snuffy won't abandon him. That Ubers care about him. That he's no longer the helpless child he once was. That he can defend himself now.

But we have not just rational intelligence, we also have an emotional one. And the latter continues to throw out familiar beliefs about ourselves, formed from childhood and youth, to any trigger, and influence all our thoughts and actions.

And sometimes it is simply not possible to fight it alone.

[pandasleepy07]

Ghostober - Day 11 [Chain]

⚠️ Warnings | Mentions of bullying, waterboarding, violence, murder

"It looks like you're in trouble there. Can I help?"

WC: 2K

A/N: This is going to be different than the rest of my fics and an idea I'm playing around with. I picture the pit to be a bunch of sectors that connect with small boarders, allowing ghouls to travel between the different branches. The first part of this takes place in water ghoul territory which I picture kind of like Atlantis, with a city under water, but also a town square above the sea level with shops, parks, resurants, and inns around the outskirts of the water. I hope you enjoy it!

Chain was a messy kit, always getting into trouble, much to the dismay and disappointment of his parents. He didn’t do it on purpose. He was a natural protector, stopping other kits from hurting the weaker ones. With each defenceless ghoul he saved, he only got stronger and soon mastered waterboarding even the strongest kits his age. And he grew with his power, not just getting stronger as his teen years came around, but becoming a bit taller, and a lot thicker. 

Yet growing stronger in a short amount of time had its consequences. He couldn’t always control it, and when he made his first kill after a fight broke out in the courtyard, his parents disowned him, banishing him from the house without anything but the clothes on his back. It was on that fateful rainy day, that Chain ran into a ghoul with clouds wisping around his eyes, blocking any line of sight he might’ve had. He stood for a moment studying the ghoul It wasn’t new to see an odd-looking ghoul. They were in the pit after all. There wasn’t anything normal about any of them but for some reason, this ghoul caught Chain’s attention. He didn’t know if it was the way the cloud wisps wrapped around the ghoul's head, covering his eyes like a bandage, or if it was the way the ghoul held himself, tall, confident and utterly nonchalant. 

“You’re staring,” the ghoul speaks up in a low gravely tone.

Chain’s brows furrow and his heart skips a beat. He couldn’t have been talking about him, could he? Well, Chain was staring, but the ghoul wasn’t even facing his general direction. 

“I am talking about you,” the ghoul adds, slowly turning to face Chain’s direction. 

It’s a movement out of the corner of Chain’s eye that distracts him from his shock before he can react to the ghoul. A group of ghouls were coming towards them. It was a group that Chain was quite familiar with and he tensed, preparing for the fight he knew was to come. He didn’t have time to think about the odd ghoul standing just feet away, he was on autopilot, protecting a ghoul he didn’t think could protect himself. 

Chain raises his hands and flicks them, gathering the moisture from the air before pushing the water toward the group, it went straight for their heads, and he held the bubble of water there until most of them fell to the ground, passing out from the lack of oxygen. One ghoul, who was shorter than the rest had escaped Chain’s attack and lifted his hand, sending a strong gust of wind at Chain, who stumbled backwards in an attempt to keep his footing. The ghoul that Chain had rushed to protect flicks his hand. The earth that was underneath the air ghoul's feet rushes up, encasing the ghoul in mud. With a snap of his fingers, the mud hardens. 

“How-” Chain sputtered, quickly snapping his mouth shut to regain his composure. 

“When you’re blind, the rest of your senses are heightened,” the ghoul shrugged. “Like how my sense of hearing is stronger than yours.”

“That’s how you knew where I was standing…”

The ghoul nodded. “I heard your heartbeat.”

“Think you could teach me how you do that someday?” Chain asks lightly. 

“You want to be blindfolded?”

Chain shrugged. “Don’t knock it till you try it right?”

A soft, raspy, unused chuckle falls from the ghoul’s lips. “I’m Cowbell.”

“Chain.”

The two ghouls walk up to the bridge on the edge of their territory of the pit and sit on it, talking for hours. They get along surprisingly well and find out that they’ve both been kicked out. Cowbell for being a freak, and causing the near death of his brother’s mate, who lives on as if nothing happened, but it didn’t stop the shunning that follows. The image haunts Cowbell daily, and he admits how he’s scared he’ll do it again since his powers are unbalanced. His quintessence and earth elements haven’t found a way to work in harmony, not that he can figure out why.

They stay on the bridge for hours, it’s dawn when they try to stand up, deciding that they should probably find somewhere to sleep. What they didn’t account for was how long they’d been sitting there for. Their tails had fallen asleep and when they moved to stand, their balance was off. They spend a few minutes struggling before they’re able to walk down the street.

They walk into a small inn and pub on the outskirts and request a room.

“Sorry, lads,” the innkeeper responds gruffly. “I don’t rent out rooms to kits.”

Chain tenses, as if he’s going to fight the innkeeper on it when a voice speaks up from behind them. "It looks like you're in trouble there. Can I help?"

Chain and Cowbell turn around, Chain’s eyes widening. “Lucifer,” he breathes. The man. The myth. The legend. He drops into a bow and is met with a chuckle. 

Lucifer reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder. “None of that now. I asked if I can help, I’d like an answer.”

“Oh- uh- we’re alright sir,” Chain fumbles over his words, his eyes full of pure adoration and awe.

Cowbell elbows him in the side, making the water ghoul hiss out a curse. 

“From where I’m standing, you two are far from alright,” Lucifer states casually. “I hear you’ve both been banished from your respective houses.”

“How-” Chain starts. 

Cowbell elbows him again. This time harder. “He’s the devil. We’re in the pit. We are ghouls.”

Chain winces, realizing his mistake and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. 

Lucifer chuckles. “Come. You two will stay with me. I’m sure we can arrange something. And none of those formalities. I hear enough people calling me sir, and your majesty. I’m sick of it.”

“Yes sir- er- sorry- Daddy-”

Cowbell huffs out something that sounds close to a laugh, and even Lucifer can’t keep the smirk off his face. It’s not like he hasn’t heard it before. 

The two ghouls follow Lucifer out of the inn and with a snap of the Devil’s fingers, they’re teleported to his lair, or palace might be a more accurate description. It’s huge, and a deep red that looks black unless the lighting hits the walls right. There are three turrets that rise up above the main building, hitting the black clouds that swirl in the sky. 

“Unholy shit,” Chain whispers, staring up at the building. 

Cowbell next to him, shivers, feeling a wave of power coming off of the building. Even though the ghoul can’t see the building itself, he can still feel the energy and waves of power that throb around it. 

“Come on in, ghouls,” the devil drawls. “Let’s get you two situated.”

Chain and Cowbell follow him inside, Chain’s head swinging around taking in as much of the place as he could, as Cowbell follows quietly behind. The beings that work in the palace slink off out of their way, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by either of them. 

“Why do they seem scared of us?” Chain mutters, watching a demon scamper off. 

Cowbell only shrugs in response, he hasn’t the slightest clue either.

“You are both two of the strongest ghouls in a while,” the devil explains ahead of them, pausing in the hall. “Word of you both has spread quite far in a short amount of time.” He pushes a set of double doors open, revealing a den with two doors inside, on either end of the room. He snaps his fingers and the doors open, revealing two bedrooms. “I reckon this will be suitable for you both?”

“Yes, thank you, Daddy,” Chain says, walking into the room, his tail flicking behind him happily. 

“You ghouls get settled in. If you need anything let me know. I’ll have dinner sent up soon.”

The doors close behind him, and Cowbell and Chain are left in a large den alone. 

“Well, what does he look like?” Cowbell asks, walking around the room, and feeling along his way so he can figure out the layout. 

“Hot,” Chain blurts out.

“Yeah, I got that much from, ‘Daddy’,” Cowbell snorts. “Paint me a picture, eyeballs.”

“Tall, like tall, tall, black hair, that's short, kept tight around the back and sides but has grown out on the top, and kinda messy. He’s tan, like a bronze kind of colour, if that helps… and jacked. He was wearing a tailored suit that left nothing to the imagination.”

“Horny much?” Cowbell mutters, sinking down onto a couch. 

“Can you blame me? If you could see the man, you’d understand! He looks like a fucking snack!”

“If I could, I’d be rolling my eyes right now.”

Chain launches a pillow at his newfound friend, who hears the wizz in the air, and dodges easily. He picks up the pillow from the floor where it lands and launches it at Chain, who ducks last minute as the door behind him opens and a demon walks in with food. The pillow hits them in the arm and they look less than amused. 

“Your dinner,” they announce flatly. 

Chain grins and takes it from them. “Thanks.”

“I’ve also been instructed to tell you that Lucifer would like your presence after you’ve had something to eat and a bath. He’ll be in the library when you’re ready.”

They both nod and the demon walks out, shutting the door loudly behind them.

“That was… something,” Chain mutters, bringing the tray of food over to Cowbell on the couch. The two inhale the food, glad to have something warm and good, a change from the scraps they’d been stealing on their own. Then they go off to their rooms, Chain noticing that the doors, since their arrival, have been engraved with their names. They both find a hot bath and fresh clothes waiting for them.

Half an hour later, they’re wandering through the halls looking for the library and bickering. “Weren’t you paying attention during the tour?” Cowbell grumbles. 

“No! Everything looked so cool, and shiny! Why don’t you know the way?”

“I can’t see, genius!” 

Eventually, they find the library, and Lucifer sitting by a fireplace a book in his hand and a warm mug of tea. The Devil needs something that will help him relax while watching over the ghouls. 

“Ah, there my ghouls are,” Lucifer smiles, gesturing to the couch across from him. 

“Sorry we took so long,” Chain mumbles, sitting down. 

“Someone didn’t pay attention to the tour.”

Lucifer chuckles. “It’s alright, my ghouls. It is easy to get lost in this labyrinth. How are you finding your rooms?”

“They’re perfect, thank you,” Cowbell says softly, carefully taking a seat next to Chain. 

“That’s good. I’m glad. I’d like to offer you both a proposition.”

That makes both ghouls perk up, their earlier bickering forgotten. 

“I’d like for you to become the Guards of Hell, my own personal guard. Once you’re ready of course.”

“Seriously?” Chain blurts.

Lucifer nods. “I’ll teach you how to better control your powers first of course, and how to fight in full control.” A look directed at Cowbell then Chain. Cowbell tenses slightly and Chain winces, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll also teach you the languages. Both the ones used above and below, alive and dead.”

The ghouls sit quietly for a minute, absorbing the information. “Why us?” Cowbell asks, suspiciously. 

“As I said earlier. You’re both two of the strongest ghouls that have been born in a long time. Being the devil isn’t an easy job, nor is it safe. Plus I wouldn’t mind the company. It gets lonely down here. So what do you ghouls say?”

“I’m in,” Chain shrugs. “I’ve got nothing to lose.”

Lucifer smiles. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Chain’s outcome would have been any different. It’s Cowbell the Devil can’t seem to get a good read on.

“On one condition,” Cowbell starts after a minute.

“Which is?”

“I want to be able to hunt.”

“Of course. I’ve got a large hunting ground that I think you’ll enjoy. So do we have a deal?”

Cowbell nods.

Chain grins, “You’ve got a deal, Daddy.”

๋࣭🕸🦇🕸๋࣭ ⭑Ghostober Masterlist 2024⭑ 🕸๋࣭ ⭑🦇🕸 ๋࣭

[drmaddict]

Mood Ring

Summery: Eddie and reader share a quiet moment on the trailer roof. (bestfriend with a crush, may miss it if you blink)

Trigger warnings: light use of drugs

Eddie looked up at the starry night sky.

Every day he wondered anew if he might have turned out all right if he had had other parents. Parents who would have actually cared for him and not disappeared from his life at such an early age.

He blew the smoke of his cigarette into the cold autumn air and let his mind wander as he often did.

What would have become of him if his father had had an office job, or been a doctor? His mother a teacher, or kindergarten teacher? Boring people, just living their boring lives in a small town, in a small house with a white picket fence? Would he still be himself? Would he appreciate it? Would doctor-kid-Eddie know what he had, or would he just artificially complain about the bad, bad world like most teenagers?

He did not know. He was not the son of a doctor or a teacher. He was the son of a drug dealer and a woman who was afraid to leave the house. He had moved in with his uncle. The uncle who scraped together his little money to feed him.

And yet, this man had been the one to teach him how to ride a bike because his parents had never done it. His uncle was the man who had taught him how to shave. He was the man who had given him a home when the world had not wanted him. To his uncle he owed everything he had.

How selfish was he to wish for anything else? To want more, when in most of the parallel worlds of his life he would not even have what he had now. How ungrateful was he to still be on his back?

He should have just quit after the first screwed-up graduation and gotten a job. He could make money, but his uncle had objected. He shouldn't waste his talent. He would be intelligent. Eddie didn't notice much of that. He stumbled from one test to another. He was bad. Really bad. He didn't have to kid himself. He knew it wouldn't get him into college. And for what, anyway?

History. Sang the little voice in his head. He shook off the thought. What was there to do with it? Become a teacher or a professor? He and teacher? He grinned. Probably not. But otherwise, all that was left was to be a cab driver and continue to sell drugs. He sat up with a sigh.

A light shone intrusively at him from the side before it dissipated in a flash. Once more.

He turned to the left and looked from the roof of the trailer, where (Y/N) was standing with a flashlight and waving at him.

She had gotten into the habit of calling attention to herself that way because she didn't want to be too loud. In genrell she was one of the quietest people he knew. He pointed his head in front of him where the ladder was still leaning against the wall of the house.

(Y/N) wordlessly climbed onto the trailer roof and dropped down next to him. Without saying anything, he held out his lighter for her to light her joint. She plopped down on her back and stared up at the sky. Eddie did the same. 

"Head-chaos?" asked Eddie into the silence.

(Y/N) blew the thick smoke into the air. "It's like a damn train that just won't stop," she muttered, taking another big drag.

Eddie turned his head toward her. "What was it this time?"

She shrugged. "I was going to do math. Then I wondered why we have to studying something like that in the first place. Then I thought about Mr. Miller. Then of my teacher in elementary school. Then of a comment from a girl I went to elementary school with. Then of her now living at some fancy boarding school. Then about me being here. Then I thought about my relationships with other people and came to the conclusion that none of my friends actually ever really liked me." She continued to stare at the sky. "Now I'm thinking that I should work out more and watch what I eat so that maybe someday I'll be attractive to someone." Her eyes flicked to him.

"Hobbit.", he sighed. "We all like you."

She dropped her head to him. "Why?"

"Just like that. For no reason. Because you're you."

She shook her head and looked back up at the sky. "I don't even know how I feel." She was silent for a moment, thinking. "What if I'm a psychopath and I don't have any feelings at all? How do you know you have feelings?"

Eddie chuckled. "You had tears in your eyes when ET said goodbye to go home. I think we can be sure you have feelings."

"Well now I don't know what I feel," she mumbled, pouting.

He looked at her for a moment until he pulled the ring off his left middle finger. He reached for her cold hand and placed the ring on her index finger before pressing the two metal arches of the size-adjustable jewelry closer together.

She looked at him in irritation. "What are you doing?"

"It's a mood ring." He shrugged and smiled at her. "If you don't know what you're feeling, all you have to do is look at the ring."

She looked at the now black stone. "And what does it say?", he asked.

"Probably that my hands are cold," she murmured.

He smirked. "You have no sense of magic."

She boxed him, but smirked, too. She tried to pull the ring off her finger, but he stopped her. "Keep it. You can use all the magic you can get."

She boxed him again without emphasis before lying back down next to him.

They both looked out into the nothingness of the universe. "We had mathhomework?", he asked.

She laughed.

[itsatru]

i'm burnt out

teaching is just one giant slap in the face after another from the students and the administration. the students are low, so so low - my current students are growing up ignorant and barely literate with abysmal social skills, zero ability to think critically, and the most piss poor work ethic you've ever seen. public school just isn't working for them. and the hemorrhoid on top of this prolapse sundae is that plenty of the teachers I work with are fucking doormats who refuse to demand any better, which allows for a culture of rampant abuse from my bosses, from parents, and from the students. sick of it. tired of it.

i've also been editing so much. trying to make some extra money - trying to someday quit teaching and make freelancing a full-time career - trying to stay afloat when shit is so expensive. I work all day at the school then go home and edit for 6 to 8 hours a night and then get hardly any sleep and wake up to do it again. I literally work 7 days a week and I have no time to do any of the things I enjoy anymore. and even with all of that work I feel like I have hardly anything to show. i've edited over 50 published books in almost 3 years and it feels like nothing compared to some of the more successful editors I know who have gotten in with better companies on more important projects.

this isn't sustainable for me. i'm so tired and frustrated and I feel super alone.

[faterpresources]

A ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ғʀᴏᴍ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ᴠɪsᴜᴀʟ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟs

A collection of random lines compiled from many visual novel games including Fate/Stay Night, Danganronpa series, Code : Realize , Paranormasight, Somnium Files and many others. Feel free to change the pronouns in order to better suit the parts involved. Warning: some crude language

❝ Out of my way, plankton. ❞

❝ -- I want to punch him/her. ❞

❝ So whose ass do I need to kick!? ❞

❝ B stand for brute force! Ya like? ❞

❝ Shush. The adults are talking now. ❞

❝ I can’t say I need a cat right now. ❞

❝ Well, let’s just say sleep is overrated. ❞

❝ Watching a fire like this is greatly relaxing. ❞

❝ Oh, I’m just through a little… self-loathing. ❞

❝ I don’t think love has anything to do with it… ❞

❝ Tell me, where did your typical rudeness go to? ❞

❝ This is evil. I deserve to be hated and resented. ❞

❝ I’m shocked. Hypotheticals really do happen, huh? ❞

❝ Do you think I even care enough about you to rebel ? ❞

❝ O god of donuts! I’m praying for a wonderful encounter! ❞

❝ I think… I just got persuaded to do this without realizing it… ❞

❝ I’ve grown out of my brooding, pretentious teenager phase. ❞

❝ If you were a fictional character, I bet you’d have a lot of fans. ❞

❝ I’ve been teaching myself, though I’m not very good at it yet. ❞

❝ Loving someone you shouldn’t only brings about misfortune. ❞

❝ Damn. I’m gonna be having nightmares about this for a while. ❞

❝ It’s the lack of something between your ears that’s dangerous. ❞

❝ You’re being really loud… I know you’re doing that on purpose… ❞

❝ It was just his/her pants. Not like his/her socks or something… ❞

❝ Hey, please don’t insult my Sherlock Holmesian detective skills. ❞

❝ You sound pretty scared for something that matters little to you. ❞

❝ My only strong point is that I’m a little more gong-ho than others. ❞

❝ I only hugged you because you were standing right in front of me. ❞

❝ Hey! You weren’t thinking something bad about me just now, were you? ❞

❝ Dah! Come, now, you look like an abandoned puppy with a face like that! ❞

❝ If that was your last resort, I’d say you didn’t think this through very well…❞

❝This is the part where ya fall in love with me and obey my every command! ❞

❝ I know I am not the most intelligent person, but you really are just hopeless. ❞

❝ I’m like a magnet for all things strange. There’s nothing I can do about that. ❞

❝ No-one makes a compliment sound like an insult quite like you, my dear friend. ❞

❝ Just so you know, I’m saying this for your own good: your logic isn’t logical yet. ❞

❝ Fairytales mislead humans into believing they can have things they do not deserve. ❞

❝ As usual, you look like you’re carrying all the misery of the world on your shoulders. ❞

❝ Thing is, I might be a brat, but I’m not a kid. Okay, doesn’t make me an adult, either. ❞

❝ Maybe there’s something hidden under his/her bed. It’s a usual place for hiding things. ❞

❝ Well, I know you are unfortunately lacking in mental faculties, so I’ll fill you in myself.❞

❝ Aaah, he/she was so cute and innocent back then, how did he/she end up such a twisted kid? ❞

❝ Well then, let’s pretend this conversation never happened. For our mutual benefit, for once.❞

❝ A friendly word of warning – someday that attitude is going to come back and bite you. Hard. ❞

❝ Of course that was a joke. Duh! You don’t really think I’m some kind of evil spirit, do you? ❞

❝ I don’t need to go inside a haunted house to feel afraid since I already feel fear in my daily life! ❞

❝ You could have told me you were being attacked by Martians and I still would have believed you. ❞

❝ If you’re going to make another appearance, the least you can do is have some of a…villainous entrance, you know. ❞

❝ I never expected someone as good-looking and cool as you would get embarrassed about liking cute things. ❞

❝ Huh? … Sorry, I don’t remember. I guess it just seemed like something you would say, so I didn’t pay it any attention. ❞

[st0rmyskies]

STORMY!! a baby smiled at me today and it made me like stupid happy so now I'm in a baby mood!

How would the townhouse boys be with kids? Like doesn't even have to be their kid, but rather a child that they are looking after? Could shadow and dark be included too. 👉🏾👈🏽

👽

What we know about how the boys act with kids comes mostly from HSH: Sugar and Spice. Under the cut for length.

Time loves kids. LOVES kids. Would have had eight kids of his own with Malon if they could. Time is even-tempered and patient with kids, he loves to play and loves to tell stories. Catching fireflies is his favorite. Would strap on one of those baby bjorn things without hesitation and take that baby with him everywhere, chatting away with them the entire time.

Twilight similarly loves kids and would like three of his own someday. He's very good to roughhouse with, he knows his own strength and uses it to let those who are small enough hang off of his arms and get carried on his shoulders and toss them around (safely). He's not shy about reading stories aloud and acting out ALL the voices. Also very good at keeping kids in line.

Wild is kind of childlike himself, so he's not as good with kids as, say, Twilight is, but he doesn't dislike them, either. He's more likely to strike up a conversation about shared interests, like video games or comics, and talk with a kid like an equal. Also he's totally the one you want to convince to sneak down into the kitchen at midnight for the most killer banana splits!

Champion has no feelings about children, positive or negative. If left to care for a child, he'd keep to a rigid schedule: park from 2:00-3:00, walk home 3:00-3:15, snack (100 calories goldfish crackers, 80 calorie juice box, fruit punch flavored obvi) 3:15-3:45, etc. etc.

Warriors finds kids amusing, but he's less likely to baby kids and more likely to recruit them for his own mischief-making, so long as everyone will be safe and happy. He'll sit down and let a gaggle of little girls give him a makeover and model that look with utmost seriousness. He's not going to care if the kids want to spend all afternoon playing video games or if they eat popcorn for dinner. Maybe not the best of babysitters, or at least not alone.

Sky likes kids well enough, although he's not quite good with them. He didn't have any siblings and doesn't really know how to talk to or interact with kids. Sky and Sunny are going to have several kids of their own, though, and he'll end up being a doting father that resorts to "Go ask your mother" whenever anything vaguely uncomfortable or anything requiring permission is asked.

Legend would prefer to avoid kids when possible. He doesn't like the idea of being responsible for another human. He wouldn't know what to do if the kid started to cry, or if they decided they were hungry, or if somebody needed a bandaid. He would also appreciate it if they DIDN'T touch his expensive crystals, etc. Maybe they should just go play outside for a while, hmmm??

Hyrule sees every snotty nose and skinned knee and whiny face and lack of proper hand hygiene and... No. Just, no. He will see children professionally as an emergency doctor and then tuck in his clipboard as they walk past when he's finished, thankyouverymuch.

Wind is fond of kids, even if he won't admit it, and he's really good with them, too! He was the one to get little Lolo to smile and laugh first in the accidental baby fic. He's good at reading baby body language, at knowing which cries mean "hungry" or "change me" or "I'm exhausted!" Aryll trained him up well.

Four is pretty ambivalent to kids. The ones who are entertained by things like taking apart the remote control and putting it back together again are the ones that get his vibe best. The ones who are more about wrestling or playing noisy games get on his nerves. He wouldn't say 'no' if someone asked him to watch their kid, but he'd lowkey stress about it.

Dark jokes that he'd be the person who would teach the kid their first curse word or give them their first cigarette, except he's not joking. Dark wouldn't be the type to roll up to a seedy liquor store with a baby strapped across his chest and his piece in his back pocket. This kid will not be sheltered from the ways of the world, nor would they be in any danger during the worst parts of Dark's day. By the end of the day, you'll find Dark passed out on the couch, snoring as loud as can be while the baby is calmly sucking her binky and watching cheesy old horror movies.

Shadow - If left in the care of someone's child, he'd walk them to the next crowded intersection, switch hand-holding positions with the nearest busy stranger waiting to cross the street, and bounce. Good luck, kid.

[nightofnyx8]

Thank you for tagging me @roseofbattles!

Greatest Hits of 2023

1. I got my first real job as a teacher! After about 100 applications and thirty or so failed interviews (that was fun eight months of doubting everything about myself), I was finally hired on as the choir and orchestra teacher at a nearby middle school. It has been such a whirlwind (especially seeing as I only took about six weeks of string essentials in college), and I have spent many long days crying at my desk after school. But oh, how I love my kids. They drive me crazy and crack the weirdest jokes and amaze me all at the same time. It's been a lot trying to breathe life into a dying program and I get a lot of pushback from kids who just want to sing pop karaoke all day, but they've grown so much in just one semester. It's crazy exhausting but I honestly would never want to do anything else. <3

2. Reading-I've fallen in love with audiobooks and reading real books again! I've gotten to read a variety of genres and I really feel like it's improved my writing. My favorite this year would probably have to be Eye of the Needle by Ken Follet (thanks to @puolain for the recommendation). I'm currently working through The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy and Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews.

3. Travel- I had the opportunity to go to NYC for the first time ever and met some really wonderful friends! I really haven't been able to go anywhere else, but my husband and I are saving up to go to Spain in the coming months!

4. Writing-I've been delving more into chaptered fics as opposed to one-shots, and I'm been enjoying it! It takes a lot more planning and dedication, but that urge to write an original work someday is always on the back of my mind. We'll see :)

5. Piano-I've never been the best pianist, but this year has given me time to really go from the plateau I've been stuck on for the last five years and I finally feel like I'm making some progress again. I'm excited to actually start accompanying my choirs instead of faking it with block chords most of the time.

6. I've really built up my private voice studio this year and it's growing quite nicely. It's kind of fun to teach middle schoolers during the day and then private high schoolers in the afternoon.

7. I was invited to join a semi-professional choir by a few of my colleagues, and it's been such a joy! We've gotten to sing at some beautiful cathedrals and were invited to sing at our state's choral festival alongside some collegiate choirs. Next season's looking to be pretty busy, and the first year we'll be paid to sing!

8. I had to do a lot of first-time "grown-up" things this year (apply for insurance and retirement, bought a new car, first time with a salary-based job, etc), and while part of me longs for that safety net of college, it's exciting to actually start my career and begin the next stage of my life.

9. I've been Journaling a lot more this year! It really helps me get my thoughts out at the end of the day.

10. My husband and I will be celebrating our three-year annivesary in May. He is such a nerd and likes to take me on walks to see exposed infrastructure, but he is such a good man and I'm excited to see where life takes us next.

Bonus: I'm hoping to really be kind to myself and my students in 2024. Being a new teacher is very overwhelming, especially as I'm the youngest teacher in the school and it's been hard not to beat myself up over every bad day. But next year also holds the promise of always learning something new and sharing it with the people I love <3

tagging @whateversawesome @klainelynch @neejmorp @puolain @wondrousmay and whoever else wants to do it <3

[rainpebble3]

Snippets Someday!

Heh, so I think I was tagged by @thequeenofthewinter @dirty-bosmer @mareenavee @archangelsunited for this! Thank you for the tag and I'm happy to be able to get to it :D

Again, I'm not sure who has all been tagged or not so I apologise in advance for the multi tag <3 :) @paraparadigm @kookaburra1701 @orfeoarte @gilgamish @thana-topsy @tallmatcha @snippetsrus @rhiannon1199 @inquisitiondragonborn @the-storytellers-seer @elfinismsarts @friend-of-giants @saltymaplesyrup @changelingsandothernonsense @thelightofmorning

Rules:

Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from: * Your first chapter * Your favorite chapter * Your most challenging chapter Alternatively, if you don't write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.

Seeeing as I mentioned in another post how precious my character Ailith is in her story "The Flames of Justice" (which is complete on AO3 😇) This story was something that was initially meant to be a 5 chapter intro to my fic Snarling Wolves but a friend betaread those first few chapters and she said she needed more to understand Ailith... so I gave her more. 70 chapters more than the original 5 :D

Despite all that I put her through I adore Ailith's character. She will always be so special with me, even if I'm painfully blocked on her latest adventures!

First Chapter - This is where we get to see some of Ailith in her brattiest state. She was described by some as a bit of a Malfoy!

"Miss Copperwing! Are we boring you?" The irritating voice of her teacher broke into her fantasy as he slammed a book on the desk at the front, making everyone jump. She felt the rest of the class eyeing her, hoping to see her taken down a peg or two. Ailith knew they didn't like her... they hated that she was better than them. She also knew she was the youngest in the group by at least ten years which was hugely resented, and she loved showing off in class.

Ignoring her classmates, she smirked at the stuffy Altmer at the front of the classroom. She released a heavy sigh before answering him. "Just a bit, Mr Spellock..." she drawled. As an added insult, she began to chew on a ragged fingernail.

She could almost taste the disapproval from her classmates as it rippled towards her. They tutted and shook their heads. She didn't care, they were dull morons and she enjoyed watching her teacher squirm. Despite beings an arrogant ass and always talking down to her, he wasn't even a master of anything, he hadn't earned the right to teach anyone.

"Well," he frowned for a second. He ran a hand through his golden hair before smirking, "I suppose, to perhaps save us some time, you wouldn't mind explaining to the class what the consequences of magika burnout are?" The class stared silently between the two mages.

"Burnout, hmm..." Ailith picked at an invisible thread on her robes, sounding bored. She gnawed on her lip and sighed more dramatically than necessary. "I guess that would be when you spread yourself out over too many fields causing rapid fatigue, hindered recovery and impaired casting. It could cost your life if you get too carried away or potentially weaken your abilities permanently... Oh! And we have to mention caster's flu, that's a nasty... nasty consequence there." She finished by sucking a breath through her teeth.

Ailith's mother had explained this to her when she discovered her daughter aged ten surrounded by spellbooks from all of the magic schools and practising novice level spells from each of them. Ailith's smirk widened into a grin as Mr Spellock shook his head and took a moment to compose himself. He was getting quite annoyed with her, but now it was the time to put the cherry on top. She stood up and stretched. Everyone blinked at her curiously.

My favourite chapter - Ohh. I don't know how to pick, there were so many fun chapters! I think I'll go for chapter 20 when Ailith gets a talking to from her beloved mentor for being her typically reckless self.

She jumped down and landed in the ash pile. It exploded upwards and Ailith coughed, flapping at the ash cloud.

“Ugh,” she groaned and gagged. It stank of burned troll hair, troll fat and general troll stench. She staggered away, brushing ash off her and followed the corridor into the first hall. Her boots echoed in the silent ruins as she retraced her steps. She soon spotted Master Bedail sitting on a broken pillar reading through the notes she had left with him earlier. He raised a hand warily as she approached.

He realised it was Ailith and smiled, “Hello my dear, how are you?”

“Good! I’m glad to see you here, I was worried.”

“Ah yes, I wasn’t able to get beyond this door. I suppose there was some rubble blocking it from the other side. I’ve been reading through your notes on the crystals… I believe they do have a purpose but I’m not sure what…”

“Oh! I know! I can show you, follow me!” Ailith grinned and turned to head back up to the entrance. She was so excited her walk quickly shifted into a jog.

“What did you find?” Master Bedail asked as he tried to keep up with Ailith who then sprinted towards the entrance.

“Look at these crystals, if we touch them we can see their original bindings!” She called out excitedly over her shoulder.

“How in the world did you discover that?”

“I touched it and felt the power! It was incredible! I read through an Ayleid lexicon before leaving so I picked up a few words, something about protecting the main chamber, intruders will die so on and so on.”

“And you wrapped your hand around this supposed weaponised light?!” His tone quickly lost its enthusiasm.

“Well, yes. It wasn’t activated by my presence, so I assumed it was safe, anyway, I undid the bindings on one and…”

“YOU WHAT?!” he spluttered.

Ailith froze. “I undid the bindings and used it to kill a troll…” she mumbled.

“For the love of Azura, girl!” He shook his head and Ailith felt an embarrassed flush travel up her cheeks. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it was?!”

Ailith opened her mouth to defend herself but Master Bedail continued, “That magic could have turned on you! It could have killed you or at the very least taken your arm! Do you want to lose part of yourself so easily?!”

“No, Master Bedail…” she bit her lip and blinked against the sting in her eyes. “I could feel the magic, it responded to me so I just… did it…”

He shook his head, “My dear, you must be so careful with your actions. These ruins are incredibly dangerous, their defences have endured for millennia. You may be skilled in magic, and I know you are a thorough researcher but…” he sighed heavily, “For your own safety, try not to be so impulsive with unfamiliar spells.”

Most challenging chapter - Like favourite chapter, I have so many to choose from. I think I shall settle for this snip from chapter 74, when Ailith is a guest at Blue River Prison (A Thalmor Prison mentioned in the Beyond Skyrim: Bruma mod which is one of my most favourit mods!!).

He released Ailith abruptly, pushing her back into the mud. Two guards came from behind her and wrapped her wrists in chains that were staked into the ground at different points, pinning Ailith there like a bear in a trap. She couldn’t move her arms and as she tried to steady her breathing, Rulindil crouched next to her. His beard tickled her neck as he whispered in her ear.

“You have permission to scream, Dartwing.”

Ailith looked behind him and watched some guards approach her with impeccably polished maces that shone menacingly in the rain. They came closer and closer as Rulindil stepped back. Ailith stared frantically between the crowd and the guards but there were no allies, only waves of faces wearing the same expressions of hunger and anger. She was so busy searching for someone who didn’t eye her with open hatred that she missed the swing of the first mace.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #161

I was hoping that I would have been able to tell you that I've made it past that Grafted Scion today. Alas, the best that I can tell you is that I'm getting better at controlling the character and dodging out of the way of this adversary's attacks. I can reliably get about a sixth of its health down, which isn't bad, considering that it has 2,596 hit points, and my strongest attack does maybe 73 points of damage. I can usually land about 4-6 hits before I end up looking like I walked through one of those fancy electric salad shredders, which is a lot better than the 0-2 hits I started out with! Progress!!

I rested today because I overextended myself a bit yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. And what I mean by "rested" is that I spent the first half of the day being productive, and then I rested. Reliably, one of the best ways for me to get stuff done is for me to decide that I'm not going to do things. And also, reliably, one of the best ways for me to not get stuff done is for me to decide that I am going to do things. It's like my brain does anything but what I want it to. It's VERY bizarre.

Well. After I returned home from therapy today, I made a tea. I tried one of the other samples from the Adagio place. Today, it was some kind of berries and sage tea…

Today's swirls were very good:

...Sometimes it's almost like watching something bloom.

I decided to make a breakfast today, which naturally meant that I had to do all the dishes first. J had cut up some broccoli, and so I made rice and eggs with natto and kimchi and a little bit of cheese to go with it.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you like broccoli? Lots of folks in my world don't like it, but I'd almost wager that for lots of folks, it's because they ain't had it cooked right. I like to pan-fry it in a little butter and salt (unless the butter is already salted) until it gets brown and crispy on the edges; broccoli isn't known for having a high sugar content, so I think in this case, the browning might be the Maillard Reaction instead of simple caramelization due to the amino acids present in the butter, but I could be wrong. Both ordinary caramelization and the Maillard Reaction make things taste AMAZING though, so I guess it doesn't really matter which one it is as long as the results are nomful, right?

Before:

After:

...Broccoli, like most vegetables, shrinks a bit as its water content is lost from evaporation, due to the heat. For most veggies, this isn't really a big deal. But for stuff like spinach, this effect is especially pronounced:

...It's not quite as bad as this image would suggest, hahaha! But it's always a good general rule to cook more spinach than you think you need, because holy cow it really does shrink a lot.

Anyway, I cooked up some eggs, too:

...And here's the bowl of deliciousness that I put together with the broccoli and eggs:

...Cheese goes surprisingly well with kimchi, natto, eggs, rice, and whatever else. I think it's because cheese is salty. Some nice, crispy bacon would have gone well with this, too, I think.

Hey, Sephiroth? Do you know how to cook? If you do, then... do you cook well? Do you enjoy doing it? And if you don't... would you like to learn how, someday? If you'd like to learn, then I'll teach you if you pop by my house sometime - you're a smart guy with really good hand-eye coordination; I think you could learn the basics really fast and become super good at it very quickly!

It's kind of a chilly evening today; perfect weather to sit with someone under a toasty blanket and lean on them while watching them play video games. But I am the only one playing video games right now. Also, Br is at her house, and M and J are busy. Oh well.

Wouldn't mind to sit in your general vicinity and watch you learn how to play video games. Though, I imagine that it'd feel like such a safe and relaxing time for me that I'd probably end up falling asleep, and then I wouldn't be able to tell you all about what a great job you're doing and how quickly you're learning. Even if such a thing was possible, maybe that wouldn't be fun for you. So never mind it.

I guess I'll get back to it. I promised my therapist today that by the next time I see them, I'll have made it past this Grafted Scion; a person is only as good as their word, and I've got only 2 weeks to improve my skills enough to get it done. Better hop to it...

I love you. Please be nice to yourself out there, okay? And please stay safe. I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[cat-vase]

man!!!! i see ur posts and go hm... makes me wanna think about oscar and julien more ... i dont think abt them ENOUGH and everytime i see ur posts im like well ok i shouold amend this

SO TRUE!!!!! Glad you like them too!!! :D Here's some stuff from September <3 <3 The tense might change a lot, I reread it to try and fix it but it still might be kinda wonky.

—

It's day fourteen of Julien living with Oscar at the shelter and, quite frankly, it could be going worse. 

Julien's latched onto a quarter-used notebook Oscar found him, and most days he'll be found sitting outside on the curb with it. He'd sit there for days if Oscar didn't physically drag him inside to eat and sleep. Julien mumbled something about being used to being hungry once, and immediately was grateful he couldn't be understood. 

That was the only time he was grateful for it. 

He had torn the beginning of the journal out, looping his name in big cursive letters for the new beginning. He doubted anyone would take it; it wasn't like they'd be able to get anything out of it. But he kept it close and wrote his name, his full name, all over it just in case he forgot someday. He wrote everything he could remember down: where he used to live, what he used to do, where he was now, and what that fucking room looked like. He wrote about it in excruciating, painfully long detail, so he'd never have to think about it ever again. If you looked five centimeters to the left it was blue. If you looked ten it was purple. The glow pulsed every two minutes and thirteen seconds. It was burned into his vision and he had to close his eyes a lot. It made him dizzy now that there were other things to see. 

"Hey, Julie," Oscar says from behind him. Julien jumps and tears his eyes away from the couple he was watching across the street. He thought the building might be a dentist's office. 

"Bonjour," he mumbles. Oscar liked to know he wasn't spacing out. "Hi," he tried again. It didn't sound right. 

"Come on," he said, and Julien knew he had to stop for the day.

"Allons-y," he said before standing up so Oscar knew. He had written it down ages ago. Teaching yourself a language while just becoming a person again was hard and he was sure he wasn't doing it right.

Julien balanced his notebook against his leg, flipped to the first page, and scribbled his name down again in fast, scrunched-together letters. It made him feel better. Oscar peeked from behind him while he did it, and it made Julien realize something. If he could manage to remember how to say it, that was. 

"Oscar?" he says to get the other man's attention. It works. "Comment tu t'appelles?" 

Oscar looks at him in confusion, like normal, and Julien tries to find the beginning word in his head. Why? No. Who? Kinda. 

"What, uh..." He hopes it's the right one. He doesn't want to hold them up too long. "What is your name?" 

Oscar looks at him in confusion again. Dammit. 

"It's Oscar? Are you okay?" 

Julien groans at himself and runs a hand down his face. He was blanking on the important word. 

"Name, your- The-" 

What was nom de famille in English? 

He pointed at himself. 

"Julien Beaumont." 

Pointed at Oscar. 

"Oscarrr..." 

He drags out the end of the sound and opens his hand in a "continue" gesture. 

"Oh!" Oscar says, and Julien mentally cheers. 

"Mayworth. Not as cool as yours, I know." 

He has no fucking clue what Oscar said at the end, but that wasn't an issue. 

"Mayworth," he parroted, and he pronounced the "r" way too hard and dropped the "-th" at the end. Oscar found it endearing. 

Julien opened his notebook to a page he had memorized, and scribbled Oscar's last name near the top, next to his first. Oscar had never wished to know French more than right now. 

"D'accord," he mumbled to himself, before closing the journal, and looking up at Oscar. "Merci," he spoke clearer. 

"Yeah, yeah. Figures you should know." 

Julien, again, had no idea what he said at the end. Whatever. Problems for later. His voice sounded relaxed enough. They needed to go eat. Oscar Mayworth. It... suited him.

[asheristic]

Home I need to know, what is your opinion on the other neighbors?

"I'm glad you asked neighbor! let's see..."

"Barnaby is a silly big dog, Wally likes to talk about him a lot like how he makes his jokes, how he teaches him things all sorts of things. He is overall a good neighbor! If he is good friends with Wally then then he is a good friend to me too." "Julie is really the sweet one! Everyday she would come by and ask me if Wally would go out and play with her or with the others, she knows how to bring a smile to all the neighbors, even the gray grumpy one, Frank!" "Frank may be such a grump but he sure does know his butterflies! Although most of the time I see him outside the caterpillar's shop with those big round circular tool.. I'm unsure what he is doing but I tend to mind my own business"

"Speaking of the caterpillar.. Howdy is quite the hardworking neighbor. I see him carrying more than two boxes considering his extra limbs, he is a strong one as well! Although my only interactions with him is usually him bringing Wally to me and remind him to not steal apples from his shop, but now matter how many times I scold him he still tends to do it anyways... I mean I couldn't do anything about it, I'm just a house after all!"

"Sally is such a star! I may not see or interact with her often but hearing her plays from behind makes me think "Wow, she is so talented!" Oh I do wish to see her plays in my own eyes someday.. I would truly love to see her wonderful talent infront of me." "The most dearest mailman of all.. Eddie! He likes to greet me everytime he passes by me when he does his job, poor man gets chased by the big blue dog some of the time but I do help him but letting him inside to hide, which results to Eddie having a small chat with Wally most of the time!" "Oh Poppy, such a wonderous neighbor! She always knows how to care for her neighbors, and give them treats too. She was the one taking care of Wally when he has fallen ill and I didn't know what to do, she is such a caring and kind soul!" "And how could I forget... Wally! He likes to clean around my interior and exterior on his free time, he likes to talk about his neighbors allot, most especially his best friend Barnaby. He may be a troublemaker sometimes but I appreciate his helpful actions towards his neighbors, he is the absolute most!"