#if anything has been a pattern it is remarkable instability

[queerunpleasantdanger]

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[randomoranges]

the other day i lost the friendly wagerino and @allbeendonebefore was like hey i want 70s stuff but maybe also make it not shitty?

idk if i delivered. i had this idea after she herself made an art and showed it to me revolving around the 70s. i figured id use it. it has a point of hope at the end? maybe it’s the origin story we all needed lamao

also please enjoy the repeated pattern of ed and ét forever saving the other a seat/making room for the other. 

also the running gag is how vague can i keep things about the 70s when also writing a fic about the 70s lewl

vague references to many things being made here

Empire of Ash Somewhere between 1971 and 1975

 He doesn’t know why he bothers – doesn’t know why he’s here. There’s no longer a point to any of this anymore. He feels the shift – feels it in the way the others look at him – the way they don’t look at him and it makes his blood boil.

 He used to run this show. Would walk in, grace the others with his presence, and they would fawn over him – trip themselves trying to be him. That or they would seethe behind their jealousy. They either wanted to be him or be with him and Étienne had always been willing to oblige. He understood their envy. Understood their want. He couldn’t really blame them. The proverbial world seemed to revolve around him and he’d reigned it with such ease and grace.

 It wasn’t always peaches and cream, naturally. He’d struggled – his people had struggled – they still struggled, but – overall, he’d been the example to follow – the one people wanted to emulate. Innovating. Exciting. The place to go – the one to be. An icon. He’d loved it. Loved the attention and the praise. The ease of it.

 It had only amplified when he’d been awarded the world exposition. It’d been a last minute decision, sure, but he’d thrived. He’d given them all a show they would never forget. Had put himself on the map for good. For years and decades to come, they would talk about Expo 67. This, would be a Moment never to forget. People would exchange anecdotes about what they had seen – what they had done. About how great and innovative it had been. How wonderful and spectacular. It was, after all, the type of work he loved – bettering his image and his city – thinking ahead. Planning. Putting on a show. Entertaining.

 He was very good at entertaining.

 He could entertain in so many different ways.

 Everyone had looked at him during Expo. Everyone had wanted him then. The stroke to his ego had been enormous. Had been satisfying. So satisfying. It had never been a dull moment. One giant party that had never ended for days and weeks and months. The afterglow had lasted – had pushed him through one winter and then the next. He’d drifted on his high – on his cloud, basking in it for days after, already a fond nostalgia settling in for the long run. The rose tinted glasses and such.

 And then it had skittered to a halt. Had come to an abrupt end. The proverbial rug had been pulled from under his feet without warning, leaving him with whiplash that had left a bitter taste in his mouth – that still lingered and rippled. Crept into his body and settled in; poisoned every last remaining good memory. Destroyed and shattered all his hard work.

 His empire had crumbled before his very eyes, leaving him with nothing but a pile of ash. Everything he had carefully built, everything he had worked for, gone, in a blink. Because, apparently, they could no longer trust him and there was now too much instability over some political variation of ideology. Because the people in a province that never felt like it cared for him wanted more. Because people dared to want to be recognised and had – taken – action.

 Years of loyal service discarded.

 It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t called the shots. He was a victim. A victim of the system. Yet, he bore the lasting consequences of them all.

 It was ironic, in a sense, that after years of feeling the oppression of religion, after fighting to break from it – after starting to find his true voice in this world, it was all being taken away and he was being pushed back – returning to a nobody.

 However, now he has a chance – another one, to prove to them that he’s still relevant – that they’re all wrong – have been wrong to cast him aside. This will be his redeeming arc. This has to be his redemption. He has no choice. No cards left to play, his deck long ago discarded.

 On a good day, he pours every ounce of energy and time into the plans for the Olympics. It’s touch and go; not as flawless and easy as Expo was. He tries to find that same magic, but it seems as though it’s one problem after the next. If it’s not some delay in construction, there’s a strike. If it’s not a strike, there’s a delay. As the calendar ticks on, his anxiety builds and his passion for the project dissipates.

 And then of course, everyone is kind enough to remind him that he’s nothing but a has-been – that there’s nothing left to him. His light has shined and now dulled, time be shelved and replaced.

  So he decides to stick to what he’s good at. Stick to what everyone wants. What everyone expects him to do. Put his moniker to good use. He knows how to play up his part, after all. He’s never even liked his obligatory job. Never saw the point to the meetings he’s obliged to attend. In his opinion, they run too long. He’s always found them boring, but at least, before, he was able to go and have a good time. Everyone had wanted his opinion. Everyone had wanted him. Because he was the best. He was somebody.

 Was.

 He is no one now.

 In any event. There’s no point to it anymore. He’s found better and more lucrative ways to spend his time. Better ways to chase the thrill of before – to feel alive where there is nothing but decay and rot. He’s found a way to feel wanted, even if for a little while. He knows where to put his skills to good use and make some cash while doing it as well. It’s more than could be said about these sorry meetings.

 The best part about his side hustle is that it makes his mayor mad. Makes the tiny bald man seethe and rage. But it makes Étienne grin. He loves that it enrages his mayor. Loves that he can keep finding ways to tarnish his plans of “cleaning up the city.” Étienne no longer is the wide-eyed-bushy-tailed naïve man who had blindly followed him. He’s grown since Expo. (It is a shame though; they’d mostly gotten along then – he’d enjoyed chatting up the man about his vision for the city. He misses the camaraderie, if anything. They may have not always gotten along, but – the man had vision – had helped him make a name of himself. This, however, he disagreed on.)

 With Expo, he’d – broadened his repertoire, so to say. Gotten a taste for the more delightful sinful pleasures of life – the full range and experience – had really let loose. It had been thrilling, what with everything else going on from the change in fashion to the freedoms the rest of his people were finally allowing themselves to experience without the fear of God breathing down their necks. His little personal discoveries had proven to be useful now that he needed an extra escapism and a different way to earn his living. The face his mayor had made had been worth it.

 Étienne wouldn’t have bothered showing his face to this meeting; would have flipped everyone off and returned to his new life, but his sister had insisted. Had reminded him that with the Olympics looming forward, he had to get his act together. Look presentable. Make an appearance. Remind everyone of what they were. It was all bullshit. He was tired of the hypocrites – the ones who’d died to have his opinion who’d now turned their backs on him. Tired of the fake airs everyone gave themselves at these meetings. The redundancy of them and the lack of anything ever getting done. He could be spending his time in so many other better ways.

 But. Élyse had begged and insisted. So he’d gone.

 Except now, he itches to get out of the place and get some air. The cigarettes he’s been smoking nearly nonstop since he’s gotten here have done nothing to calm his nerves and even though he knows he could go for something a little stronger to help, he also knows that with these stuck-ups they would have a conniption and keep passing their snide remarks. He tells himself he’s doing it for Élyse. She’s been through enough and – he doesn’t want to make it harder on her. Yet, he feels like he’s either vibrating out of his skin or that suddenly his body is too big, or too small for the ricochet of thoughts in his head. He needs air, a distraction, a hit of something, before he causes a scene, and luckily – miraculously – a break is called just as he’s about to bolt out.

 He lights up another cigarette as he looks for somewhere to wait out the break and scowls when all the benches are taken. There are spots left, but the last thing he’s in the mood for is polite small talk. It may have been his forte once, but the idea of it now makes him want to hurl. Étienne considers taking a walk and maybe finding something better to do for the afternoon, but the sight of a familiar sulking figure draws him close.

 He recognises Edward after a beat and only feels slightly relieved. Edward is his friend, sure, but they’ve sort of lost touch over the past few years. There’d been a frenzy of letter exchange after Expo and even before that, but – he can’t be bothered to remember whose turn it had been to write back. Then again, Étienne’s got a lot going on in his life at the moment and Edward feels as though he’s part of his old life.

 Still, he supposes that Edward hasn’t been unkind to him even if they haven’t sat down to have a heart to heart and at the moment, it’s better than the sneering and jeering. However, the idea of sitting down with someone he knows and having an actual conversation makes him want to set the world on fire. He considers getting out of here again, but just as he’s about to turn on his heels, Edward seems to notice him as well and moves his bag over so that Étienne can sit if he so desires.

 He’s ever so thankful when Edward leaves him to his moody thoughts and Étienne is able to breathe a little easier for the first time all day. It might almost seem like companionable silence, but he knows better and takes it for what it’s worth.

 Étienne smokes quietly as he lets his thoughts wander for a bit. He reflects on his strange friendship with Edward and how unlikely they came to be. He’d honestly never thought that his own ennui back home would have pushed him to set off exploring the Great West only to stumble upon another lost soul who would turn to be a friend – a confidant really.

 He’d – never expected Edward to take him up on it, back then – when he’d told him to keep in touch and write to him. He’d jotted down the address, given it to his friend and then had headed off, not thinking of the hassles Edward might have with finding an actual post office. Yet, eventually, when he’d nearly forgotten about it, a letter had appeared from Edward and Étienne had been more than surprised, even if he’d been delighted.

 He’d taken to writing to Edward frequently – or as frequently as was possible at the time. Sometimes, he would run back to the post office to add more to his already long letter, always having more to say to his friend and over the years and decades, he and Edward had built a steady if bizarre friendship through their writing.

 It’d been – easy to write to Edward. Easier than it’d ever been to say things out loud, anyways and he’d opened up about many aspects of his life he’d kept close to his heart with the years. In his opinion, Edward knew a lot more about him than Emma and even Élyse – not that he’d let them know. Yet, despite being able to write to his friend about everything that had ever bothered him, this time, he wants to keep his new secret to himself. He’s rather proud of this one anyways and he’s – not sure Edward would understand. Not entirely, anyways.

 He sighs and takes another drag of his cigarette. It’s a complicated mess and he’s lost so much already – doesn’t want to chance this at the moment. In case.

 It’s strange to think that even though he feels as though he’s found some sort of kinship with the new people he hangs around with, he feels even more alone than before. He’s – different from them. It comes with his status and the fact that despite his appearances, he is not like them – not really human in the full sense and there are certain hurdles he’s gone through that he cannot simply open up about to them.

 His musings are brought to a halt when he hears exasperated grumbling from his side. He’s about to scoff and tell Edward to quit it, but then turns to find the other man patting his pockets looking for something. Étienne overhears the words “cigarette” and “forgot” and figures out that Edward must have left his pack inside. He watches the little tantrum unfold for a moment, taking pleasure in seeing someone else frustrated for a while, before it gets on his nerves.

 He has enough to deal with as it is. He doesn’t need Edward’s complaining on top of it. With another sigh, Étienne fishes out his own pack and takes a cigarette out before he can reconsider and before Edward can get into a real fit.

 He wordlessly hands it over and waits for his friend to realise that there’s an offering being made.

 It takes Edward a moment and Étienne gets to the point where he’s afraid he’s going to have to jab the other man’s arm to get his attention, but before that has a chance to happen, Edward sees the cigarette and accepts it with a grumbled thanks. Étienne is about to take out his lighter, in case, but Edward already has it in his hand and lights up his cigarette without much trouble.

 It’s the extent of their conversation for the time being and for that, Étienne is grateful. He’s in no mood for talking and he appreciates that Edward keeps to himself. For the first time since the start of the day, Étienne feels slightly less alone and even though they don’t do much, he appreciated the presence of Edward. It’s – familiar, in a sense, even though they haven’t spent all that much time together.

 He can probably count on one or two hands the number of times they’ve legitimately hung out together – or even seen each other in the last century, but despite that, Étienne has considered Edward to be one of his closest friends for years now. Yet, somehow or other, even though the live miles apart, they’ve – clicked and bonded and somehow or other stuck around each other.

 He supposes, not for the first time, that it must count for something. Maybe.

 He’s not sure he wants it to, but as he finishes his own cigarette, Étienne finds himself with the same sense of ennui from before. The idea of sitting though another few hours of meetings still makes him want to hurl and the appeal of getting the hell out whispers soothingly in his ear.

 He spares Edward another glance and takes in his friend’s own sour look and discontented face. He figures that maybe – just maybe, Edward might not want to be here too and might want an excuse to get out.

 “Hey,” He says, finally breaking the silence between them. “Wanna get out of here? I think I saw a diner worth the detour on my way over.” It’s as good as an offers as he’s ready to make, but Edward, after a moment’s hesitation, carefully nods and stands up.

 They walk towards the street and fall into step together, as Étienne thinks that maybe there’s an analogy to be made about misery loving company, but he’d rather hope that instead, maybe he and Edward have more in common than he thought they originally did.

 FIN

[bpdanakins]

Anakin Skywalker + Borderline Personality Disorder

Hello there!

My name’s Elizabeth, and I really love Anakin Skywalker. I also really love the headcanon of him having Borderline Personality Disorder, so today I’m going to explore that headcanon. I’ll be explaining both the illness and its symptoms in detail, so you don’t need prior knowledge of BPD to read.

Like all mental illnesses, BPD can be expressed in many different ways. I’ll do my best to explore the ways Anakin shows signs and symptoms of it, and I’ll use a bit of both my own experience and experiences others have shared. You may agree or disagree, it’s all good. This is just something for fun, and I hope you enjoy reading it.

To start, I should explain what Borderline Personality Disorder is first. In the words of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Borderline Personality Disorder is defined as:

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a condition characterized by difficulties regulating emotion. This means that people who experience BPD feel emotions intensely and for extended periods of time, and it is harder for them to return to a stable baseline after an emotionally triggering event.

This difficulty can lead to impulsivity, poor self-image, stormy relationships and intense emotional responses to stressors.

The symptoms of BPD as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) reads as following:

** A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating.)

Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-harming behaviour.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurring physical fights).

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Alright, now that we have a basic understanding of the illness, I’ll move on to breaking down these symptoms and how they relate or show in Anakin with examples. I’ll be categorizing them as done in this article for ease of reading: Affective symptoms (covering criterion 6, 7 and 8), Impulsive symptoms (criterion 4 and 5), Interpersonal symptoms (criterion 1, 2, and 3) and Cognitive symptoms (criterion 9).

Affective Symptoms Affective symptoms is the category which covers the emotional dysregulation shown in BPD (intense moods, depression, anger and chronic feelings of emptiness). Those with BPD have difficulty controlling the range and intensity of their emotional responses; their emotions are incredibly unstable, changing moods often - sometimes within minutes.

In my experience, having BPD is like having a constant storm going on in your head, drowning out so many different things while highlighting all the wrong ones. Emotions can slam into you, so suddenly without warning or reason, so overwhelming that you can’t even think. That emotion is all there is. And then, just as suddenly, it recedes, leaving you feeling empty, or is replaced by another.

There are many, many examples of moments where Anakin’s emotions seem to change within moments. It is most prevalent with anger, especially since he has used it since a child as a way to cope with fear or other distressing situations and emotions.

Anakin was on top of him so fast the bigger being barely had time to put up his arms in defense before he was on the ground. Anakin was hitting him as hard and fast as he could, not thinking about anything but how angry he was, not even aware that the source of his anger had nothing to do with his victim and everything to do with losing Padmé. -- The Phantom Menace novelization

It is worth to note, too, that often the expressions of anger noticed in Borderlines stems from fear, panic, hopelessness, and desperation.

Borderlines are extremely sensitive to outside stimuli, meaning that a lot of the mood changes are in response to external events; particularly perceived rejection, failure or abandonment, although not always.

We know, as many characters have pointed out, Anakin focuses on the negative. Borderlines tend to be hypersensitive to the emotions of others, but often we’re more likely to notice negative emotions, rather than positive ones. This often results in us being more vulnerable in the face of criticism, and what would cause slight embarrassment for another may cause deep humiliation for us.

After this iconic first attempt at flirting, and Padmé’s subsequent teasing remark [“You’ll always be that little boy I knew on Tatooine.”], Anakin’s reaction is explained thus in the novel: “And if she had taken his lightsaber from his belt and sliced his legs out from under him, she would not have shortened Anakin Skywalker more.”

(Another note on his attention to negativity is that he missed her widened smile, or the clear implications of it, too caught up in the idealized experience of being in her presence.)

However, while it is more common for a Borderline to swing toward the negative, this is not always the case! We feel all emotions to a higher degree, and this includes happiness, excitement, and other positive emotions. Anakin shows this too, mostly in response to things like approval, or love:

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s voice had gone soft, and his hand was warm on Anakin’s arm. “There is no other Jedi I would rather have at my side right now. No other man.” Anakin turned, and found within Obi-Wan’s eyes a depth of feeling he had only rarely glimpsed in all their years together; and the pure uncomplicated love that rose up within him then felt like a promise from the Force itself.

This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, for now: The Supreme Chancellor returns your look with a hint of smile and a sliver of an approving nod, and for you, this tiny, trivial, comradely victory sparks a warmth and ease that relaxes the dragon-grip of dread on your heart. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

(Also look at this face he makes when Obi-Wan says he’s proud of him help me it’s so cute.)

We have an example of all three (anger to perceived criticism and disapproval, heightened emotions to approval, jealousy and playfulness all fluctuating quickly):

Padmé moved back to arm’s length and managed a smile as she looked over to Anakin. “Then my Jedi protector will have to prove how good he is.” Dormé gave a nervous chuckle and wiped a tear from her eye as she smiled and nodded. Off to the side, Anakin held his smile within, deciding consciously to wear a posture that exuded confidence and control. But inside he was thrilled to hear Padmé’s compliments coming his way. Obi-Wan shattered that warmth, pulling the young Padawan off to the side. “You stay on Naboo,” Obi-Wan said. “Don’t attract attention. Do absolutely nothing without checking in with me or the Council.” “Yes, Master,” Anakin answered obediently, but inside, he was churning, wanting to lash out at Obi-Wan. Do nothing, absolutely nothing, without checking in, without asking for permission? Hadn’t he earned a bit more respect than that? Hadn’t he proven a bit more resourceful, a Padawan to be trusted? “I will get to the bottom of this plot quickly, M’Lady,” he heard Obi-Wan say to Padmé. Anakin seethed inwardly. Hadn’t that been exactly the course he had suggested to his Master when they had first been assigned to watch over the Senator? “You’ll be back here in no time,” Obi-Wan assured her. “I will be most grateful for your speed, Master Jedi.” Anakin didn’t appreciate hearing Padmé speak of any gratitude at all toward Obi-Wan. At least, he didn’t want Padmé to elevate Obi-Wan’s importance in all this above his own. “Time to go,” he said, striding forward. [...] “Suddenly I’m afraid,” Padmé said to him as they walked away, heading toward the giant star freighter that would take them to Naboo. Behind the pair, R2-D2 rolled along, tootling cheerily. “This is my first assignment on my own. I am, too.” Anakin turned about, taking Padmé’s gaze with his own, and grinned widely. “But don’t worry. We’ve got Artoo with us!” Again, the levity was much needed. -- Attack of the Clones novelization

Most of the events that take place on Grievous’ ship in Revenge of the Sith, both the movie and the novelization, are a great example of Anakin’s inability for emotional modulation (i.e. the ability to control the intensity of emotions) and his emotional dysregulation. He experiences joy when joking with Obi-Wan, later fear which he turns to fury during his fight with Dooku, dissociates (as I will show below) when he executes him, and then happiness when teasing Obi-Wan and having approval from Palpatine.

Impulsive Symptoms There are many times in media and society that being impulsive is seen as a good thing. Spontaneity is a thrilling and exciting trait, and someone who has it is framed as a fun person to be around.

However, in mental illness, impulses are often uncontrollable and detrimental to the health and safety of the self or of others. In BPD, it is described as reckless and self-damaging.

Many in the fandom see Anakin as a reckless and impulsive person. It’s framed in a good light; it means he thinks “outside the box”, is unconventional but gets things done and saves the day anyways. And it is true, he is those things and he often does so to help others. Plus, we have to take into consideration that the Force plays a role too. What is considered almost automatically harmful recklessness to us may not be for someone with the Force.

The line that must be drawn, then, is all about intent and motive. Is he doing this because he wants to hurt himself, or because he does not care if it harms him as a result? Without knowing his internal thoughts on the matter, or without being shown the actions as carelessness combined with negative emotions, it can be pretty tough to nail down.

So, we can perhaps infer if something Anakin does might follow in the lines of suicidal/self-injurous behaviour, but given the nature of what the shows/movies/books are (aka, not meant to be THAT dark, despite, you know, burning people and dead children, I guess), we don’t really have much to go on.

One easy example, however, is shown through the lens of parasuicide.

PARASUICIDE   Parasuicide is a term for behaviour that includes both actual suicide attempts and self-injuries with little or no intent to cause death. Take, for example, an individual engaging in reckless driving: they could be doing it for the rush, in hopes it drowns out their overwhelming negative emotions, and while their intent at the time is not on crashing and dying, they might not care if it happens.

Cannonfire blazed past him, impacting on the support struts ahead. Too late to change his mind now: he was committed. He would bring his ship through, or he would die. Right now, strangely, he didn’t actually care which. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Interpersonal Symptoms One of the most commonly recognized symptoms of BPD are those that affect our interpersonal relationships. The fear of abandonment, the black-and-white thinking, the lack of a true identity: these are symptoms you are most likely to hear discussed first when looking into BPD or talking to someone about it.

These three criteria are all very intertwined, and they often feed or lean into each other. But most importantly, these are the symptoms that tend to come with a lot of terminology used specifically in Borderline circles.

SPLITTING    What is splitting? Splitting is the term we use for the moments we switch from idealization to devaluation, or vice versa. Borderlines tend to think in black and white with no shades of gray; either people are all good, or all bad. When we “split”, it is a change in that opinion or worldview from one to the other.

In other words, one could say...

Splitting can be caused by all sorts of things, such as someone not living up to the ideal or triggering the fear of abandonment.

Splitting is often associated with opinions of others, but Borderlines can split on their views of themselves, objects, things, beliefs or even organizations (like, say, the Jedi Order).

Anakin’s splitting is often shown in his relationship with Obi-Wan. He sees him as a great hero, the greatest Jedi ever - as wise as Master Yoda and as powerful as Master Windu. (There’s also this.) He can wax poetic about how Obi-Wan is his best friend, a great mentor, that Anakin loves him...

Yet, even in the same conversation, or even within only days, he talks about Obi-Wan being jealous, overly critical, holding him back, saying it’s his fault that Anakin’s struggling. He can be joking with him in an elevator one moment, to seething the next when Obi-Wan expresses disapproval or disappointment. (Essentially AotC Anakin is splitting on Obi-Wan the whole time.)

Anakin can go on about how he loves Obi-Wan, that he wouldn’t have it any other way than to be fighting at his side, and then easily switch to saying that he cannot be trusted, to saying I hate you. And when he says and thinks these things, he means them. Why is it that Anakin can seemingly forget the soft, genuine moments he’s had with Obi-Wan within hours, to the point his entire view on who Obi-Wan is can change?

RELATIONSHIP OBJECT PERMANENCE    Object permanence is a skill we all learn when we are mere infants. To put it simply, it is the realization that just because we cannot see or sense something anymore, does not mean it no longer exists. It’s why babies cry when someone leaves the room; they do not realize that things can exist even when not right in front of them.

In turn, relationship object permanence is the knowledge that a relationship, and all the good feelings that come with it, exists even when that relationship is not being constantly affirmed. (i.e. If you do not tell me you care for me, how can I know?) This skill is one Borderlines tend to lack, which is why we have such fears of abandonment, even when it’s irrational.

A simple example of this in Anakin is that he shares that Soft moment with Obi-Wan mentioned above - the one about the pure, uncomplicated love - only to later that night tell Padmé:

“Maybe he does [love me]. But I don’t think he trusts me.” His eyes went as bleak as the empty night. “And I’m not sure we can trust him.”

In the moment, Anakin does not doubt Obi-Wan’s feelings. Later, when he is full of fear, when he is so focused on Padmé and their child, he doubts Obi-Wan’s loyalties, let alone how much he cares.

On the flipside, Anakin idealizes Padmé. A lot. To the point he has, in a way, built part of his identity around her. Borderlines tend to lack a solid sense of self, and sometimes an expression of this identity disturbance revolves around defining oneself by their relationships; losing these, in turn, results in a sense that everything is meaningless and empty.

Since he was a child, Anakin saw Padmé in a grand light: she was an angel, beautiful and perfect, and he just knew he was gonna marry her. Since that moment, he has not ever dismantled or even noticed that pedestal he has placed her upon.

For years, he clung to the idea that he would be her husband, and this turned into, in his mind, a simple fact of his life. A piece of him that he could be sure about. He knows he is not what a Jedi should be; he is called the Hero With No Fear, which he knows is so inaccurate; they’re losing the war... but he has Padmé, and he cannot lose her.

“The Hero With No Fear. What a joke... Padmé, I can’t lose you. I can’t. You’re all I live for.”

“I couldn’t wait, Padmé. I had to see you.” He took her in his arms. “Tonight is forever from now - how am I supposed to live that long without you?” -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Another of the hallmark symptoms of BPD is the frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, whether real or imagined. Borderlines often find it extremely hard to let go of relationships, and will do much in an effort to keep others from leaving.

Losing people he loves is the source of Anakin’s greatest fears.

But Anakin’s fear is another kind of dragon. A cold kind. A dead kind. [...] The dragon reminds him, every night, that someday he will lose Obi-Wan. He will lose Padmé. Or they will lose him. All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even the stars burn out... He can barely even think about it. -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

Now, I have it on good authority that most Borderlines don’t end up going Dark Side and committing massacres to avoid someone they love leaving them, but Anakin likes to stand out.

Cognitive Symptoms These are the symptoms that relate to dissociation, paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, and other troubling but non-psychotic symptoms.

DISSOCIATION    Dissociation is a psychological experience in which people feel disconnected from their sensory experience, sense of self, or personal history. It is usually experienced as a feeling of intense alienation or unreality, in which the person suddenly loses their sense of where they are, who they are, of what they are doing. (x) For Borderlines, the most common forms of dissociation experienced are derealization and depersonalization.

DEPERSONALIZATION is defined as a detachment within the self, regarding one’s mind or body, or being a detached observer of oneself. Symptoms include: feeling that you’re an outside observer of your thoughts, feelings, or your body; emotional or physical numbness of your senses or responses to the world around you; a sense that your memories lack emotion, and that they may not be your own memories, and more.

DEREALIZATION is defined as an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Symptoms include: feelings of being alienated from or unfamiliar with your surroundings - as if you’re living in a movie or dream; feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about; distortions in perception of time, such as recent events feeling like distant past, and more.

For some, dissociation can often be the mind’s way of trying to protect itself from traumatic events or actions; sometimes even in response to extreme emotions. An easy example to observe is after Shmi’s death in Attack of the Clones - Hayden’s reaction can very easily be read as someone who is immediately trying to disconnect (emotionally, mentally) to this sudden trauma.

It’s expounded upon in its novelization as well:

The minutes slipped past and Anakin just sat there, immobilized by his confusion, by a budding rage and the most profound sense of emptiness he had ever known. Only when the pale light began to grow around him, making the low-burning candles seem even thinner, did he even remember where he was. He looked about, wondering how he might get his mother’s body out of there. [...] He could hardly move, though. There seemed a profound pointlessness to it all, a series of motions without meaning.

We also often have Anakin describing moments as if they were ‘a dream’, as if these things weren’t a part of him, but here are two good examples from the RotS novel:

The murderer blinked again. Who am I? Was he the slave boy on a desert planet, valued for his astonishing gift with machines? Was he the legendary Podracer, the only human to survive that deadly sport? Was he the unruly, high-spirited, trouble-prone student of a great Jedi Master? The star pilot? The hero? The lover? The Jedi? [...] The deck bucked as the cruiser absorbed a new barrage of torpedoes and turbolaser fire. Dooku’s severed head bounced along the deck and rolled away, and Anakin woke up.

In the Tusken camp he had lost his mind. [...] The Tuskens has been killed, slaughtered, massacred - but that has been beyond his control, and now it seemed to him as if it had been done by someone else: like a story he heard that had little to do with him at all.

PARANOID THOUGHTS   Paranoia involves intense anxious or fearful feelings and thoughts often related to persecution, threat, or conspiracy. Paranoia can become delusions, when irrational thoughts and beliefs become so fixed that nothing (including contrary evidence) can convince a person that what they think or feel is not true. (x)

Signs of paranoia include intense, irrational mistrust or suspicion, which can bring on a sense of fear, anger and betrayal. Some symptoms include mistrust, hypervigilance, difficulty with forgiveness, a defensive attitude in response to imagined criticism, preoccupation with hidden motives, fear of being deceived or taken advantage of, inability to relax or being argumentative.

Within Borderlines, this ideation is described as transient and stress-related, meaning it often only lasts a short time and is brought on by a high level of stress.

Anakin experiences many bouts of paranoia over his life, often manifesting in his (sort of) delusion that Padmé is in grave danger, that he must do anything to protect her from it; in the thoughts that the Jedi mistrust him, are out to get him because of jealousy or other reasons; that even Obi-Wan cannot be trusted; and even, at times, that Padmé will stop loving him and leave him.

He knew, deep in his guts, that something had happened to her. An accident, or she was sick, or she’d been caught in one of the vast number of buildings hit by debris from the battle today... She might be trapped somewhere right now, might be wounded, might be smothering, calling out his name, might be feeling the approach of flames- [...] He could barely breathe. He couldn’t make himself even think it. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking it. Had something changed? For her? In how she felt?

“Is Master Windu turning everyone against me? [...] It has to do with them all being against me. They always have been - most of them didn’t even want me to be a Jedi.” -- Revenge of the Sith novelization

His biggest triggers for these episodes are often related to his prophetic nightmares, but also in any reminder or flashback of his trauma and fear of losing the people he loves.

---

Conclusion Anakin Skywalker is a fascinating and complex character for so many reasons, and many people are intrigued by his story because of it. Many of those are people who also have neurodivergencies or other disabilities, and that’s why - even if these headcanons are simply that, and probably won’t ever be verified - sharing with each other the ways we see ourselves in characters is both important, but also fun.

Whether you can see this headcanon for Anakin, have one for a similar/co-morbid disorder (such as mood disorders, PTSD, ADHD, etc), or none of the above, I hope you at least enjoyed the read. It was certainly pretty text heavy, so I thank you for getting this far.

If you enjoyed this and have your own thoughts, feel free to share! I’d love to chat if you have any questions, want to make fun of this Literal Human Disaster(tm), or if you have your own headcanons you want to talk about.

I certainly have many more thoughts on this - how it could relate to his decisions/actions, more examples (especially since I only used the bare minimum), more BPD behaviours, even theories about how maybe the Force could have played into it, etc. Hopefully I’ll get better at writing these out if I ever get around to sharing them.

Ultimately though, at the end of the day, we all just want to have fun, and bond over stories that mean a lot to us one way or another. Thank you again for your time; it means a lot.

---

SOURCES:

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace   dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 1999   novelization by Terry Brooks

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones   dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 2002   novelization by R.A. Salvatore

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith   dir. George Lucas. Lucasfilm Ltd, 2005   novelization by Matthew Stover

Borderline Personality Disorder   National Alliance on Mental Illness

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, 2013   American Psychiatric Association

Diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder   by Robert S. Biskin, MD & Joel Paris, MD   National Center for Biotechnology Information

Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders   Mental Health America

Paranoia and Delusional Disorders   Mental Health America

Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder   by Marsha M. Linehan

My own personal experiences

FURTHER READING:

shitborderlinesdo on tumblr has an extensive FAQ (p1, p2) which you may find useful, although most of the posts are from about four years ago

anything by Marsha M. Linehan is useful, especially her book listed above (download)

the NCBI site has a lot of good articles with even better citations, and the citations can be read through sci-hub.

[somniatcr]

      character study series--- o.rihara i.zaya

let us first begin with what may be, perhaps, one of the most important questions regarding my personal portrayal of this character--- do i genuinely view and / or write izaya as being sociopathic in nature?

essentially, yes, i do. mostly. izaya, inherently, is complex, impossible to specifically narrow or pigeonhole into any one particular category. that’s not him, it isn’t how he works. does he tend to fit or to display certain sociopathic behaviors or tendencies? he absolutely does, yes.

izaya has shown himself to be absolutely masterful in the arts of manipulation and conning; there’s zero room for doubt or question here. he, at times, displays a grandiose sense of self, namely in regard to his high level of intelligence  ( which is fair and we’ll touch on that later ).  he frequently displays a lack of remorse for his actions; he doesn’t feel shame nor guilt for the things that he says, that he does, nor is he bothered whatsoever by the consequences or repercussions that follow--- this is blatantly displayed during his initial introduction to the series in which he manipulates, drugs, and kidnaps a girl who, following a conversation and his taunts, attempts to leap to her own death; an action which, ultimately, doesn’t affect him in the slightest  ( it’s also implied that he may have been responsible for multiple suicides under similar circumstances in the same locale, though he of course denies this--- note; this is based strictly on izaya in the anime as the manga portrays this scene very differently ). 

his emotional range is, for the most part, shallow; this can be argued at points, but ultimately he lacks warmth, compassion, isn’t capable of the sort of love felt or experienced by most  ( a fact to which he, himself, more or less attests to ),  and remains unmoved and lacks both sympathy and / or empathy where most people otherwise wouldn’t. which leads us to the following point, he lacks empathy for others--- if anything, he’s amused by the distress, the pain, and / or the anger that he causes others and, furthermore, frequently goes on to take advantage of it, as is shown time and time again to be his nature. he has a near constant need for stimulation; this can be seen in both his chaotic behaviors  ( his scheming, the games in which he plays with others, the creation of chaos amongst others, his constant conflicts with shizuo, etc )  to his frequent playing of chess in his downtime  ( even if only with himself, as he admits to he, himself, being his greatest opponent ).  he’s incredibly versatile in his criminal activities, i.e. changing his identity at will or as needed to avoid being caught or to manipulate and deceive others  ( each and every last one of his online personas is an absolute testament to this ). 

he also doesn’t necessarily have what i would consider to be any sort of particularly realistic life plans or goals, ultimately being hyper-focused on supplying himself with mental stimulation, wreaking havoc about the city that he claims to love, proving shizuo to be the monster that he resolutely believes him to be, and finding companions who meet this strict, almost impossible, criteria of his  ( again, something we’ll be touching on shortly ).

that said, do i believe him to be an absolute sociopath? almost, but no.

regardless of however i may happen to talk about izaya, however i happen to, at times, write izaya, i don’t believe he’s entirely what he seems to be.

izaya is, without a shadow of a doubt, phenomenal at what he does, but not because of any sort of mental disorder, it’s because he has built himself up to be the person that he is. izaya is nearly one hundred percent self-made. he’s easily the most highly intelligent character within his respective series, so much so that he actually laments the fact that he has no intellectual rival  ( told you we’d be coming back to this ).  izaya is a rare form of genius, a large portion of his intelligence being rooted in his own form of observational proficiency; in the way that he takes in, absorbs, visual, auditory, and sensory information and in the way in which he happens to categorize and log away all of this information, forming patterns and creating his own mental files. furthermore, he never forgets things, not anything. he may, at times, pretend to or feign ignorance, but he absolutely doesn’t forget. he also has an eidetic memory and is capable of recalling faces or images from memory, even if only having seen them once and for a short amount of time.

it’s essentially this, his mind, his overall intelligence that initially sets him on the path that it does, that leads to izaya becoming the person that he is today. during his youth, it’s remarked upon that his parents were actually quite concerned for him as it’s stated that he disliked interacting with other children or, later in life, with people his own age  ( perhaps, even, people in general ).  there are two very plausible reasons for this. the first being that as a child, he was likely ostracized due to his level of intelligence. he was, simply put, on a much different level intellectually which made it difficult for him to interact with his peers and vice versa. which, in the end, led him to then remove himself from these social interactions entirely--- which happens to be our reason two; if he’s going to be shunned or excluded anyway, then why bother trying to include himself in the first place. at least in removing himself from the situation of his own accord he has a sense of control. something that he needs.

inherently, he’s actually quite lonely. it isn’t as though he’s above human interaction as a whole, nor is he incapable of wanting or forming connections with other people altogether  ( although i don’t believe him to be capable of forming and maintaining healthy relationships with others ).  but, rather, it’s that he has, thus far, been incapable of forming such connections with the people that he’s met. no one rivals his mind save for him. he wants stimulating conversation, he wants to be surprised and to be challenged, and no one supplies this, no one provides him with what he needs  ( the closest that he’s canonically come to this is shinra, who spiraled so deeply into his obsession with celty that he, more or less, cast his relationship with izaya to the side ).  and, so, ultimately he’s left bored and wanting. which then leads him to create his own stimuli  ( something that rarely bodes well for anyone else ).

ironically, his shallow emotional range and incapability of effectively understanding and processing the emotion that he does feel is also largely part of what has led izaya to become the person that he is now. he’s lonely, yes, but lacks a full and true awareness of the fact that he is so, deeming such feelings to simply be boredom. he feels empty, a sort of void, and immediately jumps to that one particular conclusion time and time again--- he must be bored. there, as far as he is aware, can be no other logical explanation.

he also has experienced jealousy, primarily notable when shinra essentially ditched him for celty, which triggered a whole series of unhealthy coping mechanisms ranging from obsession  ( which he has another of in shizuo )  to him flagrantly casting aside what little remained of his capabilities in regard to vulnerability and emotional expression. he was unable to properly form and maintain one human relationship and, so, naturally would refrain from making the same mistake again. izaya, if nothing else, is consistent and learns his lesson the first time around  ( even if, perhaps, the takeaway that he gets from it is very, very wrong ).

in his own twisted way, it’s this deep seeded, misconstrued loneliness that leads him to his self-proclaimed human loving behavior  ( always plural, always collective, and never the singular person ).  this is where these emotions / behaviors and his sociopathic tendencies begin to intermingle, where the lines begin to blur, izaya walking this odd line of claiming to love humans unilaterally due to being unable to find and connect with that one person and loving humans due to simply finding them to be fun and for his own enjoyment, their nature and behaviors fascinating to him. it’s all at once disturbing and depressing and indicates this bizarre simultaneous mental instability and frightening level of self-awareness and control.

as a result, the only connections that he’s since been able to form are of a superficial level, people only wanting to get to know him, to become close with him, due to a facade, a fabrication of his own self that he’s used to lure them in, to use or to manipulate them for his own personal benefit. this, however, is something of a double-edged sword; he’s granted, albeit temporarily, with the mental stimuli that he craves, that he desperately needs, but in jumping from one person to the next  ( enacting numerous mind games, collecting people and drowning himself in these near constant social interactions ),  he’s overfilling those aforementioned mental files of his, he’s interacted with so many people, experienced so many interactions, that, over time, everyone begins to become predictable. he becomes more and more difficult to entertain and so, oftentimes, is left at least vaguely disappointed. which, in turn, causes him to continuously up his game, to up the stakes, leading to further and further consequence--- even going so far as to put his own life at risk, to risk death, for the sake of satisfying his own personal agenda or to prove a point  ( case and point, his final fight with shizuo, which leaves his body utterly destroyed and leads to him being stabbed and near death; he’s ultimately fine with being killed if it’s at shizuo’s hand just so that he can finally prove that shizuo is, in fact, the monster that he’s constantly touting him to be--- note !!  this particular scene / interaction is one that i don’t entirely maintain as canon for my particular portrayal of izaya ).

izaya is, without a doubt, the great villain in his respective series, but in becoming so has found himself becoming his own great villain as well. his inherent problematic qualities coupled with misconceived loneliness and emotional repression has led to him being his own greatest vice. he’s incapable of relinquishing control, banishes all signs of vulnerability  ( however few there may be ),  and views others as being beneath him, none capable of being or becoming his intellectual equal.

long story short, izaya is one part sociopath, one part self-made enemy number one  ( both in regard to those unfortunate enough to cross his path and to himself ).  and though i strive to bring out the best of both worlds, there’s only so much that i’m capable of in writing for a character quite so interesting and complex as this.

[snazzysickly]

Remark (Rk900 x Reader) part 7

Summary: You are partners with Gavin Reed and everything was more less great until someone new joins the group

Warnings: Description of blood, swearing, I think violence, bit of fluff, idk what i write so how am I gonna be able to tell you what’s in it

word count: 3,758

A/n: Unplanned chapter? Yes. But no, I've been working on it for 2 weeks. Sorry its shorter than my other ones but that cuz I went on vacation and then I got sick. Still am but I’m getting better.

The drive to Kamski’s villa was long and uncomfortable. Nines was curious why you were taking him to the outskirts of Detroit, but his pride got in the way of asking. When he did swallow his pride, your answers were vague and cryptic.

Although the drive was long, the scenery was absolutely beautiful. It was late summer, but here it look like autumn was in full swing. Most of the trees already had their leaves beautiful colors of red, yellow, and orange. Pine and oak trees also littered the area, the accent of green was the perfect touch to the autumn forest.

Parking the car in front of Kamski’s house was a shock for Nines, though now he knew where you were going, he still didn’t know why.

The leaves crunched underneath your feet as you went up the walkway, with Nines at your heel. You were thankful he was cooperating even though he was mad at you, it made things a lot easier. He had no idea why you were here and what you were doing. You decided not to tell him in fear he or Cyberlife might try something to stop you.

After ringing the doorbell, you were surprised when an android open the door, a Chloe model to be exact. She was dressed in a dark teal, long sleeved dress, and she was barefoot. You thought the color complemented her well. She still hadn’t removed her LED, which you thought was a bit strange.

“Are you here to see Elijah?” Chloe asked in a sweet voice. When you nodded, Chloe let you in. Behind you, Nines was looking at the back of your head in confusion. Why were you here to see Elijah Kamski?

You followed Chloe into the house and you immediately noticed the portrait of Kamski in a suit. It made him look vain, but then again, if you were the CEO for the most successful business company in the world, you’d be narcissistic too.

Chloe led you to a room with a pool filled with red water and huge windows overlooking Detroit. She opened a door that was right next to a large painting, and disappeared inside. You looked at Nines for a reaction, but he didn’t give you the satisfaction of one. You suppose he was still mad at you. Sighing, you followed Chloe.

In this room, there were the same large windows, but this room looked more like a living room. It looked like the definition of modern. There were two grey couches, one leaning against the wall facing the window, and a another across from it. In between the couches, a coffee table lay, on top of the coffee table was a geometric shape decoration and a magazine. Overhead, there were LED lights in a triangular pattern. In the middle of the room, there was a TV that was currently off. Behind the TV, there was a wall with crystalized shapes inside squares. In front of the wall, a dinning table with many chairs stood.

“Elijah? Your guests are here.” Chloe said, gesturing to you and Nines.

Kamski was sitting on the couch facing away from the window, he was typing something on the laptop on his lap. You didn’t expect Kamski to be wearing something so casual. He wore navy blue jeans and a long sleeve graphic shirt. Large glasses sat on his face, and his signature man bun undercut haircut was styled apart from a few strands falling onto his face.

“Ah yes, Connor’s friends.” Kamski put the laptop onto the cushion next to him and directed his attention to you and Nines.

“Elijah Kamski, I am (y/n) (l/n) and that’s my partner and professional asshole, Nines.” You didn’t mean to act petty in front of Elijah Kamski of all people, but you were bitter from Nines acting so rude to you. But to your surprise, Kamski had a half smile upon his face.

“Detective, I presume.” You nod at Kamski and he continues, “My brother told me about you.”

You tilt your head. Kamski has a brother? Who was he? How did his brother know you?

Kamski noticed your confused expression so he explained, “I’m disappointed that he never told you. I’m sure you’re familiar with Detective Gavin Reed.”

Your jaw goes slack, You gape at Kamski in shock and confusion. You weren’t able to form complete sentences so all you were able to say was, “Brother?”

Kamski nods and smiles, “Half brother to be exact. We’re not as close as we used to be, but we talk ever so often.”

A million questions run through your head. You were completely dumbfounded. You never even knew Gavin had any siblings, much less a brother that created Cyberlife. You would have to talk to Gavin about this later.

“Anyway, Connor told me what you’re here for, and that it should be kept incognito.” He gestures to Nines subtly. You still could barely make proper sentences so all you did was nod.

“Nines,” Kamski addressed, “You’re here to get some new abilities to fight crime.” You noticed Kamski’s ability to lie so smoothly, and his lie wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Can’t someone at Cyberlife give me the new ability?” Nines asked suspiciously.

“Oh nonsense, no one at Cyberlife has my expertise.” Kamski replied simply.

Nines thought for a moment then nodded.

Kamski turned to Chloe and gave her a short nod. She walked towards the TV and pushed a button on the TV stand. Suddenly, a glass casing rose up from the floor between the TV and the coffee table.

“If you will just get in here I can start the process.”

Nines barely hesitated, he walked into the casing and a glass door shut behind him. Nines turned so he was facing the three of you.

“Please remove your skin.” Kamski asked Nines as he walked up to the glass door.

Nines did as he was told. The synthetic skin disappeared, in its place was the smooth white and grey plastic. Kamski touched the glass door and a light blue keyboard showed up on the door, he started typing on it. Other holograms of code appeared on the door while Kamski was working. He touched them before typing something into it, then deleting something else. He worked fast and efficiently. About fifteen minutes later, he was finished.

Chloe unlocked the case and Nines stepped out, His synthetic skin reappearing. He looked around awkwardly, then his face scrunched up in confusion.

“I got a notification for an update, should I download it? It’ll take ten minutes.” Nines asked to no one in particular.

“Yeah Nines, it’ll help us!” You urge.

Nines nods, then takes a seat on Kamski’s couch. He stares ahead of him, looking at the coffee table.

“While that’s downloading, he’ll be unresponsive. In the mean time, we can talk.” Kamski said, “Take a seat, Detective.”

You sit on the couch opposite of Nines, next to Kamski. He looks at you and in a serious voice he questions.

“Why do you want Nines to deviate? What is your purpose for doing so?”

You look at him, “I just want him to, he’s missing out. I don’t think it’s right for one android to be a machine, when all the rest are deviants.”

You continue talking to Kamski until Nines had downloaded all the updates. Most of your conversation was about Gavin and Kamski being brothers and the updates that were being installed. You were suddenly interrupted by Nines.

“(Y/n)?” Nines touched the couch with his hand then flinched away. He jumped up from the couch, he held his hands in front of him, looking at them, “(y/n)? What is going on?”

Nines stumbled towards you, and you stand up to catch him. He falls into your arms, but before he could get settled in your grip, he falls backward.

Everything he touched had a feeling to it. When he touched the cushion, the soft feeling startled him. Then when he when to you for reassurance, your skin and clothing had an odd feeling. The smell of you also filled his nose. It made him fall back, he didn’t like how everything had a feeling. It was a sensory overload, and it was causing all types of software instability.

His eyes darted everywhere, he didn’t like what was happening to him. For once, he didn’t know what had happened.

You slowly walked towards the panicking android, holding your hands up to make sure he knew you weren’t trying to hurt him.

“It’s okay Nines, everything is alright. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

You kneeled down to face Nines, he looked completely scared, and touching the soft carpet sure wasn’t helping. You tried to reach out to touch him but he jolted back. Learning from your mistake, you approached him more slowly. You touched his sleeve and rubbed it gently, Nines watched as you did this. He was used to feeling nothing, only the pressure of something against him. Now he felt everything. He was extremely sensitive, anything and everything was causing him to be uncomfortable.

“Can I touch you?” The fear in your eyes was evident. You could only thing that maybe you shouldn’t have had all the updates download at one time. Maybe you pushed too far.

Nines wanted to brush you off, stand up, and get out of Kamski’s house in the same manner as always, but everything was so jumbled and confusing, he decided to nod.

You got on your knees and carefully wrapped your arms around Nines. Your scent flooded Nines’ nose. He stiffened, but after a moment, your smell became inviting and oddly comforting. Your touch became warm and empathetic. In a weird way, he liked it.

You weren’t very touchy-feely, but right now you didn’t care. You felt terrible for doing this to Nines when he wasn’t ready. You needed to help him through this.

To your shock, Nines wrapped his arms around your torso. He was hugging you back. His hug was awkward, as if he was trying to get into the most comfortable position. But you didn’t mind, you took what you could get, and this was definitely the end to your argument.

The hug didn’t last very long, Nines was the one to pull away. He wanted to go back to unemotional machine that he was. He shouldn’t he hugging his coworker. It’s unprofessional.

When he stood up, he ran a diagnostic. He found the new software quickly. All different kinds of new abilities, after some quick research, he found these updates were for deviants. At first, he was going to lash out at you, but the actual feeling of hugging you reappeared in his mind. He wanted that feeling again, if he forces you to get rid of it, he wouldn’t be able to smell your loving scent, or your comforting touch. He ultimately decided to not comment on the changes.

“Sorry about that Nines, I thought it would help.” You rub your hands sheepishly, looking up at him.

“I’m Cyberlife’s most advanced android, I am able to adapt to any situation, I will not have a problem here.” Nines said flatly.

Despite his words, he was unsteady on his feet. He didn’t know this is how humans feel the world. Nines did his best to show he was unaffected by these changes, but his obvious discomfort shown through.

You walked up to Kamski sitting comfortably on his couch, he had watched your whole exchange with Nines, and realizing that, made you embarrassed.

“Uh, thank you so much Kamski, this means a lot to me.” You stutter slightly on your words.

“Your welcome Detective, I’m happy to help.” He rests his chin on his fist and smiles at you.

“Well- we better get going. Thank you again for your time.”

Kamski nods shortly, and you start walking the way you came, with Nines lagging behind. Chloe kindly walked you out, and you made sure to thank her as well.

Nines was out the door when you turned to Chloe. She watched you expectantly and kindly.

“I know this is a weird question, but are you a deviant?” You stutter a bit asking such a personal question.

To your surprise, Chloe smiles and nods. You were really expecting her to be offended, “Of course I’m deviant.”

“Then why are you still helping Kamski?” She could be doing so much more. You were just genuinely curious.

“Well, all the other Chloes left to do what they wanted, but I feel that if someone doesn’t take care of Elijah, he won’t take care of himself.” She simply smiles and shrugs.

You nod and smiles slightly. With a wave, you leave Kamski’s house.

You see Nines waiting in the passenger seat of your car. When you get into the driving seat, Nines speaks up.

“Do you think you could’ve hurried up? It’s really cold outside.” He goes to fold his arms but flinches when his arms come into contact with each other.

Now that you watch more closely, you observe that Nines was sitting tensely against the seat. His back doesn’t touch the seat, his legs are hovering apart, and he tensed his shoulders.

You suddenly become guilty. You hadn’t meant to make Nines so uncomfortable, just to cause software instability. You didn’t even know if it worked, and if you asked it would cause more suspicion.

Without answering Nines’ question, you start your car and drive away.

Back at your apartment, you had discovered that Nines found solace inside your bedroom. While you were doing a couple of chores, Nines had snuck inside your room and sat on your bed. When turning around, you found that Nines had crawled under your blankets, he was on his side, and was out like a light.

You turned off the light and quietly shut the door behind you. Honestly, you were surprised to find Nines, of all people, asleep in your bedroom. Guessing that once he downloaded the new sleeping feature, his body realized he was overworking himself, making him extremely sleepy. You really need to get him a bed.

Walking into the living room you find a blanket halfway on the couch, the other half on the floor. The pillow was in a position for sleeping, and you realize that Nines was trying to sleep here.

You sigh and plop yourself down onto the couch, taking out your phone to text Gavin about the whole incident of Kamski and him being brothers. Not far into your conversation, you get called for a case. Figuring that Gavin got the case information, you text him that you’ll beat him over to the scene of the crime.

Sadly you had to wake up Nines. Even when he just rolled out of bed, he looked completely perfect. No hair out of place, and he looked well rested. All he needed to do was fix his turtleneck and he was ready to go. You assumed that Nines already had read the case file so you didn’t tell him about the briefing.

The case was a homicide between an android and a human. It’s been a frequent theme, so it seems. Though this time, it was the android that was the unlucky one in this scenario. It was actually the human that called the police, clamming self-defense.

Arriving to the scene, which is just a side street with walls covered in graffiti and a few back alleys, you take note to the kind of area you’re in. It was a low-income area, with a few gangs here and there, of both androids and humans. Making it completely possible for the android that was killed to be apart of said gangs.

You quickly find Gavin, he was looking over some evidence. You walk up next to him and he turned to you. “Beat you.” His signature smirk rests on his face with his hip cocked out.

You roll your eyes, “Come on, we got more serious things to attend to.” You kneel down to see the evidence Gavin was looking at.

“That’s what a loser would say.”

Ignoring him, you look at the pocket knife that’s covered in both normal blood and blue blood. You wonder if the knife was used by both of them.

You stand up and head to the dead android on the sidewalk, which just so happened to be close to an alleyway. Gavin follows.

“His name is Jett Honne,” Gavin says, “And she’s’ Camille Gilbert.” he jerked his thumb toward Camille who was talking to Nines, while a medic wrapped her arm in a band-aid.

You bring your eyes back to Jett’s dead body and all that surrounded him. Jett’s shirt was ripped from the sternum to his belly button, exposing the empty area where the Thirium pump regulator should be. A small hole around his belly button was dripping blue blood, from the pocket knife, if you had to guess.

The pump regulator, you found, was far away from Jett. You take a look at it but find nothing of interest. Maybe Nines could find more. You hate to admit it, but he does find little details that you may have missed.

You call Nines over, and he excuses himself from Camille. She looked angry and unfriendly, while Nines looked annoyed, although, he did look grateful to get away from her.

“Nines, can you take a look at this?”

He picks up the pump regulator and looks it over. In a daze, Nines stood up and scanned the whole area. It was the oddest sight to see, but you could only guess he was using one of his fancy features he has.

Nines turns back to you after a few seconds, “I reconstructed the scene, Jett came out of that alleyway and attacked Camille with the pocket knife. Camille took the knife and cut his shirt, while plunging it into Jett, she took out the pump regulator and threw it. Meanwhile, Jett took the knife out of him and sliced Camille’s arm. He tried the reach his pump regulator, but he ran out of time. Jett fell on his back and there is where he died.”

You put a hand on your hip and shake your head, “Did you have this ability this whole time and never used it?”

“I’ve used it plenty times before Detective. I believe you just didn’t care to notice.” Nines remarked, then walked up to the android body.

Nines has been trying to get used to the new changes he had installed just today. He was trying to take things slow, but unfortunately, this case has pushed him harder than he’d like. Yes, he was an android that was designed to obey and adapt easily, but this was different. Now he could smell the Thirium coming off of the dead android. It burned through his new senses, making him nauseous.

“Hey prick, test the blood.” Gavin stated.

Nines obeyed. He walked up to Jett’s dead body and kneeled down, the smell of the Thirium was stronger, making Nines’ nose scrunch. Still, he obeyed. With a swipe of two fingers, Nines picked up the blue blood from Jett’s wound. The feeling of the warm blue blood was foreign and unwelcome to Nines. He’s done this before, in test runs and missions. But this time it was different.

He tried to bring the blue blood to his face to test it, but the odd texture of the Thirium, and the smell of it, sent him overboard.

All of a sudden, his head started spinning, and Nines became dizzier by the second. Nines ultimately lost his balance, and fell backwards onto his ass. You and Gavin had watched Nines become uneasy. You pieced together what might have happened, and came to Nines aid.

Putting a hand on Nines’ back as you kneeled down, you looked at him with concern. He was visibly shaken with his eyes wide, his arms were supporting him, and he didn’t look like he was enjoying the feeling of the rough sidewalk on his hands.

“You okay, Nines?”

He turned to you, and you barely notice the nod that came from him, as it was so brief, it was easy to miss.

“Yeah, well I don’t believe you. Here, I’ll take you back to my car,” You slowly help Nines stand up, “And you can sit this one out. Me and Gavin well take care of it.”

“No! I can do this!” Nines lurched out of your hold, and you stare at him blankly.

“Nines, we both know you can’t do this, you still need to adjust, it’ll take some time.”

Nines ignored you, and spun around, but still unsteady from earlier he wobbles and almost falls over again. Only saved by you catching him.

You glare at him, and he caves. Still, Nines wanted to protest, but he has no voice to. He knows anyone at Cyberlife would be disappointed with him, but he also agreed with you. He was in no right mind to keep going with this investigation, so you guided him by the small of his back, to your car.

You open the rear door, and you help Nines get into the seat. He still looked shaken. You wish you could stay with him, but you can’t. You’ll have to go back to the investigation sooner or later.

“You can sleep here if that’ll make you feel better.” You pat Nines’ shoulder.

He, again, nods. You sigh, then squeeze Nines’ shoulder, “I won’t be long, okay?”

This time, he hums. Good enough I guess.

You shut the door as quietly as possible, as not to disturb Nines. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you take the short walk back to Gavin. You’d have to try to keep this investigation short, you don’t want Nines to be waiting that long. Gavin looks at you with an amused brow, and you immediately know what he’s thinking.

“So? Have you found out if the plastic prick has well- a plastic prick?” Gavin nudges your side while raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Nope.” You say flatly, “Wanna find out for yourself?”

Gavin chokes on his spit, then doubled over laughing, holding his stomach, as if you said the funniest joke in the world. The tiniest of a smile forms on your face at the sight of Gavin laughing.

“Phck, this is why I love you, (y/n).” Gavin wipes away a tear when he gets back up.

“Yeah yeah, I’m the best. Let’s just keep this investigation short, okay?”

Feedback is alway appreciated! If you want to be tagged, send me an ask!

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[darkballsofsight]

If two ride on a horse, one must ride behind

PI 03/08/2019

Your name is Pembrooke Ingleton and by the bequest of the equestrian sort, you're on your way to the Church of the Mirthful in the hopes of seeing if any of the goers there have any insight to the whereabouts of one Gamzee Makara.  The friendly baker, who you really do hope nothing bad has befallen him.    Which is likely why you offered to be the one to speak to the Baron.

Admittedly you are a bit worried about your backup. Not out of anything personal. Just that well, the Baron certainly had a sway of his own when it came to your troll inclined officers.    And you haven't had much a chance to see Darkleer in action on the field.

Still, Redglare has full confidence in him so you stand by her, and as you make your way up to the churches door...you are standing by him as you knock. Or ring a bell. Or honk something. Whatever this church has for their door alerting of guests device.  Not that you're really too concerned...the way you feel watched gives you the impression he likely was alerted to your approach before you made it up the steps.  Also gives you the heebie jeebies.

Creepy creep clowns.

GHB 03/08/2019

Sam was notified when they were about two blocks out. The clown had been...restless. His hier hadn't come to church, hadn't spoken online. For some time...

Others of the church suspected foul play. Sam suspected a bender. Which happens to the young ones, here and there. But.

But.

There had been other dissaperances too. Other derse borns who had come. That do not any longer. If it is a Challenger in his own ranks, he would accept it. But the sneaky sneak of slipping away doesn't sit well.

Silently the churchlings had begun a recovery mission earlier in the week, finding little. But still they search.

Azriphale opens the doors, eyes Byzantine bright purple as he assesses the visitor. He recognizes the inspector ...less so his tall companion. But he has suspicion.

Wordlessly he turns from the door, beckoning them in.

There's prayer, quiet and whispered that feels like it's coming from nowhere and everywhere, candles and inscense rising and guttering with the sound rhythmically. The walls are painted...in paint. Maybe blood, the tang of it heavy in the air. Skulls and bones tinkle in chimes, crunch underfoot...

Then they hear the growls, rattling the windows, echoing off the walls. The throne was empty, but bright eyes flashing purple hung in the shadows of the rafters. Sam's voice sounded like an angry tiger trying to speak, wrath tinging his words.

"Why is you desecrating my sanctum, Expatriate." They can hear claws scratching on wood, but can't see it, fear wreathing around them.

Darkleer 03/08/2019

You've been uneasy since the moment you heard 'clown church'. Purple bloods on Derse you could deal with. Even with the Makara heir, the very same that went missing now. But to know that they dragged their whole faith here... You have a lot of thoughts, and none of them positive. Most of all though, you're concerned about the influence they may have on this city.

But you don't back down from the assignment. After all you want to prove your capability for this job. And you don't want to let this puny human your boss walk right into the clown's den alone and unprotected.

You follow Lt. Ingleton, as quiet and stoic as the Zahhaks tend to do, and you follow inside when the clowns invite you. When you left Alternia, the inside of a clown church is the last thing you ever expected to see again. And the stench.. you're far too familiar with the smell of troll blood. How can this even be tolerated on Derse?

You can hear him before you see him, a still far too familiar voice. The Grand Highblood. That, in their language, motherfucker. Of COURSE he'd be here. Your concern for the planet just increased tenfold.

You don't flinch. Even with his overdramatic greeting, he doesn't scare you. The mind games his ilk can do are not a concern. You have fiddled with your brain long enough so that no one else could. And gone are the times where he is part of the royal caste you have to bow to. He doesn't have power over you, not anymore.

You have a healthy amount of respect, sure. He's still a dangerous individual. But you're more concerned for your company than yourself.

A displeased puff escapes you. You wanted to leave the talking to the Lieutenant, but that ass decided to adress you personally. Oh, how you want to tell him there's nothing sacred to be found in these halls. No, you're on duty and in fact not here to pick a fight with the second-biggest tyrant of old Alternia.

"We are investigating the missing report of a purple blood, Gamzee Makara" you state factually.

PI 03/09/2019

Oh.  There's that sensation again, as you feel your heart start to race and a shivver go up your spine.  The Baron certainly had...something about him didn't he.  Sort of an aura that certainly instilled a fight or flight into a person.    Cold and bone chilling indeed.

You inhale slowly, and exhale as well.  Logically, you know this is an unnatural sensation...but not that it really helps in regards to lowering the emotional hackles that are now raised and screaming in your nerves.

If there was a history between these two, you'll get to that later.  For now, you inhale again and nod as you refocus on the task at hand.  "Indeed.  According to close friends, he has vanished and in a manner unlike himself.  Officer Darkleer and I were tasked to come by to see if you could ask a few questions about when you saw him last."

Glancing up at the rafters, you frown ever so slightly as you briefly recall the last time you were in this building during the whole Trickster fiasco...

"If you would prefer an interview off church grounds, we'd be happy to oblige."

GHB 03/10/2019

He bloody well should be uncomfortable with the clown church. The bright eyes extinguish over the throne, and the fear dissipates. There's silence for a few moments, save the chanting of the Mirthful themselves, ever in crescendo or diminuendo in strange, dysphonic  patterns.  Sam is moving silently in the rafters, considering how to respond...

He's an asshole, choosing to drop just behind them -Out of reach with the Expatriate- with a Blazing Fear designed to shock and cower.  They only hear the softest of footpad falls when his feet connect to the ground, as he stands his full regal height of...not taller than Margrave... Shirtless, polkadotted pants neat andd trim,, but bones and beads threaded together in necklaces and bracelets. Blood maybe crusted under his claws. The glow of his eyes is enough to cast a shadow of the two over the throne. Paint crisp and terrifying as ever.

Sameadi bares his teeth, snarling. "And you bring an ingrate to my church. I am being thankful of the offer, Inspector...but you is already here." Perhaps there's enough to strip the calf from the herd, bring him to his rightful motherfuckin slaughter. He sizes them up out of habit...the only back exit is a hidden door--perhaps perhaps. Give it time, old man. He'll finally reign himself in-giving the impression of instability is always useful.

"You investigate but do not give information, Darkleer. Your report is motherfuckin incomplete, yo work below par. Motherfuckin expected of a traitor and coward." ...Okay he can't help but instigate a bit. Ooops~ A sneer is directed breifly at Darkleer as he turns his attentions to Ingleton.

"We is take care of our own, brother. I is appreciating of yo offers, but our people are our people. Iffen you find them before we does--perhaps it be better for they." He lets that sink in as he pauses. "But We's been searchin fo th boy, being finding little  as of yet. His scent been grown dark and cold. There is been others. An I is motherfuckin disappointed you ain't been made th connection. Derse borns not of th church, but come and praise. Gone an missin. Or gone an returned by fire. Do you think not we want vengeance an justice?" His wrath is ticking up juuust a bit.

Darkleer 03/11/2019

He finally deigns to come down. A wave of something washes over you and tickles something in the back of his head. His vile magic doesn't affect you, but you're aware what he's trying. Curse him.

You turn around towards him, making a small step to the side to position yourself between the Baron and the Lieutenant who is probably not as unaffected. While you try to make yourself as small as possible around everyone else, being faced by him, you straighten your back to reach your full height. Taller than him, you'll have him know. Not by much, admittedly, but the point is being made.

You try to keep the thoughts running through your mind low and listen to hi- Incomplete. Did he just. Hr. You huff. He may call you all kinds of names, but to call your work inadequate. No, of course you don't bring information, you have none yet. You came here to get some you have JUST started the work. He ought to know this. How DARE- Hhh.

You choke down so many unnecessary angry retorts and chastise yourself for lowkey wishing to find the heir dead. For all you know, the boy may not actually deserve that.

He doesn't know anything and even if he did, he wouldn't tell you, the Baron made that much clear. "He is not to be found under this roof" you state, for the Lieutenant, most of all, but also as the probably most single weakest jab you could make at the Baron.

Though, the remark about the Derse born. Your ear flicks when he mentions that. That may be a thing worth investigating. "You have no right to take justice into your hands. Not on this planet. You need to desist from action." You're aware what kind of vengeance purplebloods are out for. He won't stop, you know. Part of you hopes. A reason to bring him down for good.

PI 03/11/2019

Despite your frame and average jitters, you aren't what would be defined as weak-willed.  One really can't be in this line of work where you're at.   But, that doesn't necessarily make you immune to emotion, even when you know something is amiss. And even if you're not cowering, the wave is enough to cause you to find yourself unable to breathe as your legs lock up, freezing you in place as you try to regain your breath.

Inwardly you are thankful for Darkleer stepping in front.  Outwardly, you're slowly replacing the pale shock with an agitated expression.  You are indeed well aware of the burned bodies, half the reason you came here personally is because you had a hunch perhaps there was a connection.

"That is the problem with making a connection, sir.  When people don't take the time to inform us people have gone missing because they're too busy trying to handle it themselves...lo and behold we miss a detail.  It would have been nice to know there had been others vanishing, versus discovering this fact after so many others had gone missing."  Your stance straightens as you straighten your coat, breathing returned to normal.  "We came here to help, so your aggressive posturing and....whatever it is you are doing...is rude.  And the implications of vigilantism is noted."

Your nerves are screaming, but you stand ground since you all know if you two were to vanish right here and now that it would be a mess that the Baron and ultimately the Crew would not want to deal with. Especially on a cusp of a gangwar brewing.

"Is there any other connections than Derse born?  How is someone able to differentiate a Derse born member of your church from offworld?"

GHB 03/11/2019

That doesn't mean that Sammy isn't thinking on it mightily. His scelera flash red briefly, a low grumbling snarl under his breath.

That puny human is fodder. Darkleer is. Again. On the wrong side. How frustrating. Sam tilts his head to the side, a too wide smile draping over his face lazily.

"S all bout presentation, brother inspector. " He steps around them easily, a sashaying stride back to the throne.

"An you is dismissed, Darkleer. 'd rightly prefer speakin at yo superior." His wave is as condescending as his tone >

But at least he's focusing on the Inspector alone. For now. Darkleer is going to be noted and dealt with later, if his scathing expression relates anything.

"It ain't uncommon fo those who ain't been grown in th church to come an go 's they please." His voice takes a wounded tone when he looks over the inspector. "Were I knowing earlier I woulda said sommat earlier. It were part of us lookin this here week, so's sommat coul be said 't all." If he had had his way, he'd merely point him at the corpses of the desceased and say they came to an unfortunate end.

His head rests on his palm, watching the two of them intently. "Cain't rightly say. Sometides they ain't wear th paint an protection. Th gods cain't see they wi'out 't. Were there of the church bretheren missin I woulda raised th alarm 't a mo punctual tide t yo likin. We is tight knit, we is alway on guard." We're always ready to kill is unsaid.

Darkleer 03/11/2019

Your gaze stays fixed on him as he walks past the two of them. Nothing about his attitude and unnecessary pompous act has changed. The only thing that has changed is that you don't need to bow to him anymore. And yet..

"You are not the one dismissing me" you reply with a snarl. If the Inspector wants you to leave, you will. But it wouldn't sit well with you to leave anyone alone in this place.

PI 03/11/2019

This marks the second time the Baron has pulled rank on of your officers in front of you.  Well, in this instance tried to.  God...damnit you swear the powerful players of this city are singlehandedly having a contest amongst themselves of who can dance the longest on your last nerve with their flaunting.

You inhale.

Despite your utmost desire, you will not poke this bear.  It's tempting to, there's certainly a few choice words and barbed sentences you could respond with...but you have a job to do.  A job where someone's life is potentially at stake.

You exhale, and put a soft step on your bubbling pride internally.

"I see." you say, acknowleding Darkleers comment but choosing to ignore outright as you stay on task.  Though you mentally note to have a talk with all your blue blooded officers later.  Turning to the Baron you continue.  "A list of names of those missing would be appreciated, as well as the names of any deceased.  We may be able to uncover an unexpected link your own have missed in our teams."

Folding your arms, you give him a somber expression.  "We all want to get to the bottom of this, and save those gone missing.  Find out those responsible.  The more hurdles set up, the longer it takes, and the higher the odds of Mister Gamzee being the next body found increases."

You've already prepared for him to refuse or to continue his focus on Darkleer, which is fine.  You've gotten enough information from this meeting as is.

GHB 03/12/2019

Sam has a smug smile on his face as Darkleer is summarily dismissed regardless. The foal could pretend Sam didn't have pull, but clearly Sam is still higher on the food chain.

His fingers snap and there's a wordless whisper, a paper appears in his hand. "Considerin you done notified me a one, this shouln't be necessary. These is ones what haven't come, though they names coul be assumed an not original. Derseborns are...not as strict with names an titles. They's not as often named in records nuther. Sommat I's been tryina address wi th council here."

The thought of these tech phobic fools being able to find something the Alternians could not is a fantasy. Clearly. Hmph.

"An 's Mr. Gamzee Makara. A brother of high birth an accord. An heir to th head of church, should he take ambition." Sam shifts, standing up with an unnerving grace.

"Iffen 't all possible, 'd prefer you t be workin th case, Inspector. Yorn insight an diligence---is far superior. " that's mildly directed at Darkleer.

Darkleer 03/12/2019

The Lieutenant isn't dismissing you, so you stay, though quietly. It's somewhat of a relief that the Inspector has taken over the conversation now and the Baron actually makes a pretense of cooperation.

Your lip twitches a bit at his comment, but you don't let him drag you down on his level anymore. The sooner the two of you can get out of here, the better.

PI 03/12/2019

Gamzee being a potential heir was something you weren't aware of, so huh...another thing to factor.  "It would not be my first rodeo when it comes to aliases and I expect it will far be from my last. Still, I've yet to have a case where I had too much information so the list is appreciated."

The possibility someone is targeting purple blooded individuals is unsettling, but that they're somehow able to target specifically Derse-born is peculiar.  Perhaps there is a secondary link involved that hasn't made itself aware.  You have a few hunches, but that will take work to follow them.

"I fully intend to.  He's a good sort, a talented baker.  I've had the fortune to meet him before so I'd rather see nothing ill befall him."  You stand proper as the Baron rises.  "If you discover any further things, it'd be appreciated if you let us know."  Appreciated, but frankly not expected.  The internal clock in your mind has already set this as a race to solving this before the Baron and his men get their claws on whoever is responsible and then...well you expect everything is going to hit a not mysterious at all dead end.

GHB 03/12/2019

He makes point to note it due to the fact it could give a greater possibility that Gamzee survives. He hands over the paper easily, the ink is of a questionable nature. "Th list ain't complete by far, but these is th missin we've associated wi."

He wouldn't know the secondary link, but he'll gladly postulate on one. "I ain sure whyfor th church folk is targeted, but I am wondering if 't is political in natures. There are many that would be of a dislike of me fo former days--" Pointed look at Darkleer.

"But I's got faith you is in th right in yo search, brother. Iffen you is need any 'll be glad t lend towards 't. " His desire for additional information...mmm. "I'll does mah best if by an large I's come by sommat else. Be looking you on the toolmarkings of th dead, they is alway tell us stories."

He pauses, glancing at a middle distance as whispers of magic float his way. "Our words is alway carried somewheres."

Darkleer 03/12/2019

What. Is that look supposed to mean. Well, yes. You dislike him for former days. And current ones. He's not implying you would have it out for him and his church, is he? You wouldn't sink so low. You're intending to act well within the laws of this planet.

You let out another irked snort, jaw clenched tightly. You're not going to respond to his prods. Not today. You have weathered enough insult and ill demeanor from your superiors over centuries to build enough patience to deal with his.

PI 03/13/2019

Looking down at the paper, the names listed don't give an immediate ping of recognition. But then again names are what they are.  Still...it is something to lead onto.  Though the realization this could be part of a serial killer or targeted attack is still settling into the equation.

"The help is noted and appreciated Baron." you say aloud, remembing that right...courtesy and protocol. This man is still very much an ambassador for Alternia after all.  "I think we can all agree that getting to the bottom of this is in everyone's best interests. And I fully plan to do just that."

There is a pause, as you glance from Darkleer...to the Baron...then back.  There's a history there, and as much as you'd like to know it, time and place.  "Thank you for your time and assistance. And this information.  I'd say we shall no longer darken your doorstep...but..." turning back you look at...well you just wave your hand in the direction you assume the door is in.  "...I honestly expect I'm going to bang my shins on every object on the way to the door at this time.  Next time I'm bringing a flashlight."

GHB 03/15/2019

Yeah he definately means he thinks Darkleer would sabotage something. Sam's voice rumbles with a growl as the candles in the church grow brighter. In a few padded steps, he's turning the inspector in the correct direction with an amused smile. " D ast tha certain parties being not included in th investigation, but I is thinking that is an ast too far. Th door 's t th right, brother."  He straightens again, smoothing down his hair quickly.

"An I knows you is will do yo level best, as I would. Be sure t keep a brother updated some, yeah? I ain't much like t be out th loop in such things."  Eyes shine in the shadows as they trace the procession, breaths held in anticipation. Surely the Highblood would spill the blood of the offender. The sancrosanct demands it. He waves off unspoken pleas for blood with a wave of his hand.

Darkleer 03/16/2019

You will personally make sure the Grand Highblood will hear as little about this as possible. Or you will at least advice the Lieutennant of as much, since you are not the one to decide these things.

At least you're leaving now. During the talk your gaze has been fixed on Samedi the whole time. You're only hesitantly turning your back towards him, but you're not granting him even a second of attention morer than absolutely necessary.

You did take notice of the Inspector pointing out his apparently insufficient eyesight. Right, humans don't see as well in the dark. You would offer to guide him or even carry him, but considering your rank, you're not sure if that would be compatible with his pride. You still go ahead, some of your technological parts on your head and under your shirt lighting up just a tad more to help him find the way.

PI 03/16/2019

Curse your Prospitian totally human eyesight.  How nice it must be to be a troll or Dersite in the sense of being able to see in the darkness easier.  Probably saves a doozy on the electric bills as well.

"Of course." you say, then note the candles light raise. Ok...that was actually pretty impressive presentation.  What you'd do to have an ambience like that when officers came into your office. "I'll keep in touch."

You follow Darkleer and graciously manage to avoid dinging into several objects thus allowing you a graceful departure to the door.  "Take care, and talk to you later."  Even if not about this, you doubt it will be the last time you speak to the Baron.

As you make it outside the door, you give a sideways glance to Darkleer to gauge his disposition.  Not really wanting to speak up just yet until you're well out of any remote earshot of the church.  This place you swear. The heebies AND the jeebies.

Darkleer 03/16/2019

Your face is hard and grim. This has been a frustrating and frankly mildly shocking encounter. You're not going to speak up about this unless PI asks you.

PI 03/16/2019

After a few blocks, you finally speak up.

"Are you doing alright?"  you say with a concerned tone. Now that the pressure of keeping things proper and official is off, you find yourself more worried about how the interraction between the two had gone down.  "I apologize for not acknowledging the dismissal commentary.  At the time, I felt it would turn the discussions focus on that rather than the task at hand...but I did not want to give the impression that I was ignoring you."

Darkleer 03/17/2019

His question takes a moment to register, so deep into thought and frustration you are. But you stop to look at him.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong, sir. He did, that. Wretched. Two-faced. Pisspoor excuse of a-. Hrhk, pardon the language." You give an angry snort.

"I did not.. expect him to be here. But that explains the presence of his violence-thirsty church."

PI Last Monday at 12:12 AM

"Mmm...my apologies. He has been here a time, somewhat of an ambassador representative to Alternia, or so the cover be."  You give a glance around, making sure you're both well out of earshot of anyone and you suspect Darkleers hearing is good enough to catch your quietest mumbles.  "All but confirmed to have Crew ties, would not be surprised if his church operates alongside gang activities."

You give him a sympathetic look as he apologizes.  "Is it wrong of me to assume the two of you have history? Or is this just an idealological difference in a very severe way?"

Darkleer Last Monday at 9:35 AM

You catch his look around and try to keep your own voice low, even if the anger is boiling up inside you. "I.. served as the Executioner under the Alternian Empire, and he the judge. It was my task to bring down anyone he wanted to see dead - if he didn't choose to take care of it himself. I deeply regret my actions back then, even when I believed I had no other choice."

You had no intention of keeping any secrets, but just as well you didn't expect this to ever be a matter of concern on this planet. Obviously, thinking for yourself has never been your strength.

"He is one of Alternia's most influental figures besides the Empress, much to the chagrin of every other seadweller.. and the cost of everyone below. An embassador he may be, but he cares little for anyone not sharing his color. That he is here.. I am not sure if he would do less harm here or on Alternia.. Best would be neither."

PI Last Tuesday at 8:57 AM

A solemn nod is given.  Some of these things were things that you had pieced together, but there was something to be said for having suspicions confirmed and to hear it from the individual themselves.  A notch of respect given...goodness knows he isn't the first person on the force who has had a dark past.

"It always baffles me why some of the more...influential individuals would have an interest in Midnight City.  It's not even like there is...a lot here?  Pardon my rudeness and racial insensitivity here, but I would figure they'd have more important things to do than run a church and petty mobster crimes on a backwater planet....so says the hypocritical man working as an officer on said planet."

Darkleer Last Tuesday at 8:06 PM

You fall silent for a moment as you think about that. That is a good question that you're not quite sure you got the answer to. You have a hunch... a terrible one.

"The Alternian Empire was built on the discovery and... conquest of other planets and their residents. A small planet this is, but a planet regardless." As you try to explain this, another idea creeps up on you.

"Another terrible reason may be that the Empire's control of its people has been gradually slipping since the rebel movements have risen up. A lot of the more.. free-thinking trolls seem to find their way to this planet. Should they ever decide to return, they could bring some radical changes with them."

You haven't gotten to spend much time with the trolls of this city and precinct yet, but considering the fact that trolls of all castes work together and with such a different hierarchical structure was proof of that enough. Putting that thought into words makes you realize though... should the baron choose to influence or cull any of these young trolls, be it your own descendants, the young Peixes or any of the lowbloods, there is very little standing between him and them that can take him on.. besides you, maybe.

PI Last Tuesday at 10:20 PM

That was not something you had considered, but it would make a decent amount of sense if it was the case.  From what you've gathered, the trolls born on Derse have already shown radical differences than those who were born under Alterian influences.  And who knows...if they were to show that such a life is inherently better, yeah you could see how that would affect a word such as Alternia.

Your frown deepens.  "I do...worry for officer Piexes.  From what I've gathered, her blood type is royalty. Meaning from old system standards with there being a lack of empress, she would have means to attempt to claim said throne.  Considering her connection to Ampora and Amporas connection to Dualscar and..." you take a breath. Curse you connection chain.  "Dualscars connection to the Baron...I have no doubt the Baron could see her as a very tempting target to pull under his sway..."

Mm. Yeah no. You don't like that.  No sir ree bob. Maybe your just feeling overprotective cause you fed her fish as a grub or something. But mmm...yeah no. No like.  Adjusting your coat, you shake your head.  "I suppose we'll have to keep alert."

Darkleer Last Wednesday at 9:37 AM

You just give an agreeing grunt. Though you hadn't realized she was connected to.... "Dualscar." That is a name you didn't hear in a while. Not someone you ever got to interact with, but yet another old troll on a planet full of unsuspecting young ones. Hhn.

"We do." Maybe you should talk with the young Peixes about that? She seemed to innocently unaware and unaffected by all of Alternia's system and her heritage and you'd hate to ruin that, but you don't want to have her stumble into the hands of people that might use or hurt her.

PI Last Wednesday at 7:35 PM

"We do." you echo as you bundle yourself up, the biting cold outside suddenly feeling more intrusive than before.    "As an aside, thank you for your assistance earlier and for coming along with me for this."

Darkleer Last Wednesday at 10:08 PM

You nod. "No thanks needed. It was my job to accompany you." And you're glad for it. There's a good chance the Baron had no intentions to hurt him, but.. he is still a dangerous and unpredictable man. "If you need assistance in dealing with him in the future, let me know."

PI Last Thursday at 5:41 AM

"Hehe..." you chuckle. "Here I was about to offer the same to you."  It's true, you lack the...well beyond obvious physical clout that most trolls boast much less those of Darkleer or the Baron.  But you were not without your own authority and connections in this city.

Not that you really expect a lot of legislation and regulations would necessarily stop the Baron from popping your head off your body like a dandelion should he feel inclined. BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO CONSIDER THAT.

"Let's get back to the precinct. We have a lot of investigating and work to do."

Darkleer Last Thursday at 9:22 AM

"I will keep that in mind." You didn't expect him to be of much help to you for dealing with the Baron, especially with him being someone that has grown up outside of Alternia. You might peruse his advice so you don't act against Derse's law. Though admittedly, he dealt with the clown fairly well back then, and especially with his outsider's view, he might open a few new perspectives.

You give him another nod. With all said and done, you quietly follow him back.

[vagabondretired]

My Summary O The Day (so far) It is notable that these mental fitness tweets were posted less than ten minutes after a segment on this subject was aired on Fox and Friends. This is a pattern that is repeated frequently by Trump who obviously watches the program religiously, despite saying that he doesn't have time for television. The message in the tweets is one that should be of concern to all Americans. First of all, the investigation into his involvement in Russia's interference in the 2016 presidential election has not been proven to be a hoax. Quite the contrary. There have already been four indictments with two guilty pleas. The rest of what has been uncovered by the special counsel, Robert Mueller, is still under wraps. And PolitiFact awarded Trump it's Lie of the Year for repeatedly making this statement about the matter being a hoax. Secondly, no one has ever recognized Trump's two greatest assets as his "mental stability" or "being, like, really smart." And if he wants to make that claim himself he probably shouldn't sound so much like a "Valley Girl." (fer sure). His true assets were actually having been born into a wealthy family and having the shameless lack of character that permits him to lie, cheat, and steal to get what he wants His boasts about education are a lame attempt to cling to some alleged glory from half a century ago. And it's all the more irrelevant since he refuses to release his college transcripts. Also, Trump has never been a successful businessman. He would be far richer if he had just invested his inheritance in an S&P 500 indexed mutual fund. With at least four bankruptcies, he can hardly lay claim to any business prowess. And like his college claims, Trump refuses to release his tax returns to validate his alleged success in business. Finally, Trump's self-exalting assertions about his sanity and brilliance are downright surreal. When was the last time you heard "a very stable genius" say he was a very stable genius? Smart people are the last people to say that they are smart. Trump's bragging is actually a sort of certification of his ignorance and instability. And he elaborated on that theme in brief remarks to reporters at Camp David when a reporter asked "This morning you were tweeting about your mental state. Why did you feel the need to tweet about that this morning?" Whereupon Trump regurgitated his tedious refrain about having been an "excellent student" and becoming a successful businessman and TV star. Then he drifted off into a diatribe against Fire and Fury author, Michael Wolff, and his former top White House aide, Sloppy Steve Bannon. Watch this video and see for yourself if he ever approaches a coherent answer to the question regarding his mental state: Remember, the question was "Why did you feel the need to tweet about [your mental state] this morning?" The answer was aimless blather about his perception of his own awesomeness and his perceived enemies. That isn't the response of someone who is either stable or a genius. If anything, Trump's response this morning affirms the broadly held assessment that he is unfit for the office he holds. His inability to maintain a focus on the topic is a symptom of cognitive dysfunction. It's a cry for help that everyone - from his family to his Republican peers - is ignoring. And the peril this represents to the nation, and the world, cannot be overstated.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Here's the weirdest, scariest stuff Trump said at today's 'I’m not ranting and raving' meltdown

Xeni Jardin:

“Peace through strength,” Donald Trump said to reporters today in a rambling, aggressive, monologue news conference that lasted nearly about an hour and a half. Trump rattled on in circular patterns about plans to “build and rebuild” the “great” military and law enforcement. He dodged questions on Flynn, Obamacare, leaked reports of turmoil within the administration, and expressed outrage at being questioned repeatedly about “this whole Russia scam that you guys are building so that you don’t talk about the real subject which is illegal leaks.”

“Russia is a ruse,” Trump said, several times.

I have nothing to do with Russia. Haven’t made a phone call to Russia in years. Don’t speak to people from Russia. Not that I wouldn’t. I just have nobody to speak to. I have nothing to do with Russia. To the best of my knowledge no person that I deal with does.

It's real bad, guys. And it can absolutely get worse.

Here is the full transcript of Donald J. Trump's remarks to the press earlier today, Thursday, Feb. 16, 2017. He is currently the President of the United States of America. I read the whole thing and watched all hour and 53 minutes of the video, so you wouldn't have to, and I highlighted the most terrifying stuff and have pasted it here with my deep thoughts. Hold me. I'm legit terrified.

There were some doozies. Here were the sections of the rambling monologue, which went on for about the duration of a feature motion picture, but was far more terrifying than anything I've ever seen at the movies.

Snip:

The press has become so dishonest that if we don’t talk about, we are doing a tremendous disservice to the American people. Tremendous disservice. We have to talk to find out what’s going on, because the press honestly is out of control. The level of dishonesty is out of control.

And then, good cop.

[T]he media is going through what they have to go through too often times distort - not all the time - and some of the media is fantastic, I have to say - they’re honest and fantastic.

But much of it is not a - the distortion — and we’ll talk about it, you’ll be able to ask me questions about it. But we’re not going to let it happen, because I’m here again, to take my message straight to the people. As you know, our administration inherited many problems across government and across the economy. To be honest, I inherited a mess. It’s a mess. At home and abroad, a mess. Jobs are pouring out of the country; you see what’s going on with all of the companies leaving our country, going to Mexico and other places, low pay, low wages, mass instability overseas, no matter where you look. The middle east is a disaster. North Korea - we’ll take care of it folks; we’re going to take care of it all. I just want to let you know, I inherited a mess.

Poor me.

Now, on to a rarely-heard sotto voce dogwhistle to white supremacists. This part's all about The Blacks and The Mexicans, aka The Illegals, who are responsible for everything bad.

We’ve ordered the Department of Homeland Security and Justice to coordinate on a plan to destroy criminal cartels coming into the United States with drugs. We’re becoming a drug infested nation. Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars. We are not going to let it happen any longer.

The next part is what I like to call, "I had all of their albums before you even heard of them":

We have had great conversations with the United Kingdom, and meetings. Israel, Mexico, Japan, China and Canada, really, really productive conversations. I would say far more productive than you would understand.

They’ve spread like cancer. ISIS has spread like cancer - another mess I inherited. And we have imposed new sanctions on the nation of Iran, whose totally taken advantage of our previous administration, and they’re the world’s top sponsor of terrorism, and we’re not going to stop until that problem is properly solved. And it’s not properly solved now, it’s one of the worst agreements I’ve ever seen drawn by anybody. I’ve ordered plan to begin building for the massive rebuilding of the United States military. Had great support from the Senate, I’ve had great from Congress, generally.

We’ve pursued this rebuilding in the hopes that we will never have to use this military, and I will tell you that is my - I would be so happy if we never had to use it. But our country will never have had a military like the military we’re about to build and rebuild. We have the greatest people on earth in our military, but they don’t have the right equipment and their equipment is old. I used it; I talked about it at every stop. Depleted, it’s depleted - it won’t be depleted for long. And I think one of the reason I’m standing here instead of other people is that frankly, I talked about we have to have a strong military.

We have to have a strong law enforcement also. So we do not go abroad in the search of war, we really are searching for peace, but its peace through strength.

Next, again with the boasting about vote counts:

I put it out before the American people, got 306 electoral college votes. I wasn’t supposed to get 222. They said there’s no way to get 222, 230’s impossible.

270 which you need, that was laughable. We got 306 because people came out and voted like they’ve never seen before so that’s the way it goes. I guess it was the biggest electoral college win since Ronald Reagan. In other words, the media’s trying to attack our administration because they know we are following through on pledges that we made and they’re not happy about it for whatever reason.

And - but a lot of people are happy about it. In fact, I’ll be in Melbourne, Florida five o’clock on Saturday and I heard - just heard that the crowds are massive that want to be there. I turn on the T.V., open the newspapers and I see stories of chaos. Chaos. Yet it is the exact opposite. This administration is running like a fine- tuned machine, despite the fact that I can’t get my cabinet approved.

A fine-tuned machine.

Next, yep, that's right, “Trump's Fucking Wall,” as former Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto calls it:

And the wall is going to be a great wall and it’s going to be a wall negotiated by me. The price is going to come down just like it has on everything else I’ve negotiated for the government. And we are going to have a wall that works, not gonna have a wall like they have now which is either non-existent or a joke.

Now for an attack on the Judicial branch of the Federal Government.

The court system has not made it easy for us. And are even creating a new office in Homeland Security dedicated to the forgotten American victims of illegal immigrant violence, which there are many. We have taken decisive action to keep radical Islamic terrorists out of our country. No parts are necessary and constitutional actions were blocked by judges, in my opinion, incorrect, and unsafe ruling. Our administration is working night and day to keep you safe, including reporters safe. And is vigorously defending this lawful order.

Next, a resentful mishmosh and something I don't fully understand about 'extreme vetting.' Also, basically: fuck you indigenous people and libtards, that fucking pipeline is happening.

Extreme vetting will be put in place and it already is in place in many places.

In fact, we had to go quicker than we thought because of the bad decision we received from a circuit that has been overturned at a record number. I have heard 80 percent, I find that hard to believe, that is just a number I heard, that they are overturned 80 percent of the time. I think that circuit is — that circuit is in chaos and that circuit is frankly in turmoil. But we are appealing that, and we are going further.

We’re issuing a new executive action next week that will comprehensively protect our country. So we’ll be going along the one path and hopefully winning that, at the same time we will be issuing a new and very comprehensive order to protect our people. That will be done sometime next week, toward the beginning or middle at the latest part. We have also taken steps to begin construction of the Keystone Pipeline and Dakota Access Pipelines. Thousands and thousands of jobs, and put new buy American measures in place to require American steel for American pipelines. In other words, they build a pipeline in this country, and we use the powers of government to make that pipeline happen, we want them to use American steel. And they are willing to do that, but nobody ever asked before I came along. Even this order was drawn and they didn’t say that.

This part makes me wonder if Paul Manafort is out of a job?

To drain the swamp of corruption in Washington, D.C., I’ve started by imposing a five-year lobbying ban on White House officials and a lifetime ban on lobbying for a foreign government.

Next, The Affordable Care Act. The only people who use “Obamacare” are lazy no-good non-white drug rape monsters.

Obamacare is a disaster, folks. It is’s disaster. I know you can say, oh, Obamacare. I mean, they fill up our alleys with people that you wonder how they get there, but they are not the Republican people our that representatives are representing.

So we’ve begun preparing to repeal and replace Obamacare, and are deep in the midst of negotiations on a very historic tax reform to bring our jobs back, to bring our jobs back to this country. Big league. It’s already happening. But big league.

Next, is this a threat that Trump SCOTUS nominee Gorsuch will become a Supreme Court judge, "or else"? Nice Judiciary system you got there, shame if something were to happen to it.

And one more thing, I have kept my promise to the American people by nominating a justice of the United States Supreme Court, Judge Neil Gorsuch, who is from my list of 20, and who will be a true defender of our laws and our Constitution, highly respected, should get the votes from the Democrats. You may not see that. But he’ll get there one way or the other. But he should get there the old-fashioned way, and he should get those votes.

The Q&A that followed was bonkers. Trump attacked the press throughout the Q&A. This is -- what is there to even say about this insanity? He's on a new offensive.

QUESTION: I just want to get you to clarify this very important point. Can you say definitively that nobody on your campaign had any contacts with the Russians during the campaign? And on the leaks, is it fake news or are these real leaks?

TRUMP: Well the leaks are real. You’re the one that wrote about them and reported them, I mean the leaks are real. You know what they said, you saw it and the leaks are absolutely real. The news is fake because so much of the news is fake. So one thing that I felt it was very important to do — and I hope we can correct it. Because there’s nobody I have more respect for — well, maybe a little bit but the reporters, good reporters.

Next, Wikileaks:

I have nothing to do with Russia. I told you, I have no deals there, I have no anything. Now, when WikiLeaks, which I had nothing to do with, comes out and happens to give, they’re not giving classified information. They’re giving stuff — what was said at an office about Hillary cheating on the debates.

Which, by the way, nobody mentions. Nobody mentions that Hillary received the questions to the debates. Can you imagine — seriously — can you imagine if I received the questions? It would be the electric chair. OK, he should be put in the electric — you would even call for the reinstitution of the death penalty, OK?

Next, an off-the-cuff remark by Trump about Jeff Zucker, the head of CNN, whom one could say made Trump newly famous with the television show, “The Apprentice.”

QUESTION: Thank you very much, and just for the record, we don’t hate you. I don’t hate you.

TRUMP: OK.

QUESTION: So, pass that along —

TRUMP: Ask — ask Jeff Zucker how he got his job. OK?

Next, hacking.

I don’t want to be hacked. And we did that. And you have seen that they tried to hack us and they failed. The DNC did not do that. And if they did it, they could not have been hacked. But they were hacked and terrible things came in. And, you know, the only thing that I do think is unfair is some of the things were so — they were — when I heard some of those things I picked up the papers the next morning and said, oh, this is going to be front page, it wasn’t even in the papers.

Again, if I had that happen to me, it would be the biggest story in the history of publishing or the head of newspapers. I would have been headline in every newspaper. I mean, think of it. They gave her the questions to a debate and she — and she should have reported herself.

Also during the question and answer period, a reporter asks Trump about his failure to address even one of the dozens of anti-Jewish hate attacks that have taken place since Trump took power.

TRUMP:...he said he was gonna ask a very simple, easy question. And it’s not, its not, not — not a simple question, not a fair question. OK sit down, I understand the rest of your question.

So here’s the story, folks. Number one, I am the least anti- Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Number two, racism, the least racist person. In fact, we did very well relative to other people running as a Republican — quiet, quiet, quiet.

See, he lied about — he was gonna get up and ask a very straight, simple question, so you know, welcome to the world of the media. But let me just tell you something, that I hate the charge, I find it repulsive.

I hate even the question because people that know me and you heard the prime minister, you heard Ben Netanyahu (ph) yesterday, did you hear him, Bibi? He said, I’ve known Donald Trump for a long time and then he said, forget it.

So you should take that instead of having to get up and ask a very insulting question like that.

Next, Trump engages in tone policing, and goes completely off the rails.

You know what it is? Here’s the thing. The public isn’t — you know, they read newspapers, they see television, they watch. They don’t know if it’s true or false because they’re not involved. I’m involved. I’ve been involved with this stuff all my life. But I’m involved. So I know when you’re telling the truth or when you’re not. I just see many, many untruthful things.

And I’ll tell you what else I see. I see tone. You know the word “tone.” The tone is such hatred. I’m really not a bad person, by the way. No, but the tone is such — I do get good ratings, you have to admit that — the tone is such hatred.

I watched this morning a couple of the networks. And I have to say, Fox & Friends in the morning, they’re very honorable people. They’re very — not because they’re good, because they hit me also when I do something wrong. But they have the most honest morning show. That’s all I can say. It’s the most honest.

But the tone, Jim. If you look — the hatred. The, I mean, sometimes — sometimes... (...) And the hatred and venom coming from his mouth; the hatred coming from other people on your network.

Now, I will say this. I watch it. I see it. I’m amazed by it. And I just think you’d be a lot better off, I honestly do. The public gets it, you know. Look, when I go to rallies, they turn around, they start screaming at CNN. They want to throw their placards at CNN. You know.

I — I think you would do much better by being different. But you just take a look. Take a look at some of your shows in the morning and the evening. If a guest comes out and says something positive about me, it’s — it’s brutal.

Now, they’ll take this news conference — I’m actually having a very good time, OK? But they’ll take this news conference — don’t forget, that’s the way I won. Remember, I used to give you a news conference every time I made a speech, which was like every day. OK?

No, that’s how I won. I won with news conferences and probably speeches. I certainly didn’t win by people listening to you people. That’s for sure. But I’m having a good time.

Tomorrow, they will say, “Donald Trump rants and raves at the press.” I’m not ranting and raving. I’m just telling you. You know, you’re dishonest people. But — but I’m not ranting and raving. I love this. I’m having a good time doing it.

But tomorrow, the headlines are going to be, “Donald Trump rants and raves.” I’m not ranting and raving.

Go ahead.

Chilling.

https://boingboing.net/2017/02/16/holy-shiyat-he-crazy.html

[wumblr]

i made an offhand remark about interpreting lost shoes as a message from god -- even weirder than that, i actually got a couple asks about it, so i'm gonna try to answer both in one go (they were probably the same person but anons don't get reply notifications anyway)

it's called circumstantial scrying or divination by synchronicity and it is risky business, particularly if you're already prone to things like ideas of reference or delusions of grandeur or manias or paranoias, so readmore with caution, and remember you can always discard a belief if it doesn't serve you. (belief is just a thought you keep thinking)

it doesn't require a belief in god or a belief that that's where the messages are coming from (or even that they're messages at all) -- but it probably does require some stable faith in your own ability to interpret, or at least a curiosity to start navigating that.

what i mean is, if i encounter things that make me suspect synchronicity while i'm off minding my own business, if my mind bothers to bring some phenomenon to the forefront of my consciousness like that, then i try to be very open to that sort of red flag. it doesn't even have to be a mystical process at all -- maybe psychological-magical, like the mysticism all resides in a belief that there is some yet unknown quality to the mind, maybe something that could be scientifically defined but hasn't been. something powerful.

not to bring up that maya deren quote again but: if you draw power from the known (mainstream society, religion, psychology), you are normal, you are natural. but if you draw power from the unknown (isolation, esotericism, that undefined power of the mind), you are abnormal, you are supernatural: you are the witch. the witch is fearful precisely because she reminds us that things will survive without us and our laws, that there is a deep well of power so far beyond the structures we daily interact with, that one day it will inevitably consume us and everything we've ever known. (entropy, if nothing stranger gets there first.)

like, i know all that's happened is i saw a marginally out of the ordinary thing twice today, and twice isn't even a legitimate pattern. it's just a cognitive bias that gives me pause any time anything happens twice, and that bias has been evolutionarily beneficial but not always useful...

knowing that doesn't necessarily invalidate any wisdom i might bring back up from the mines. perhaps it's not the object itself that matters but the interpretation. you can divine anything, so choose well.

i'm beating around the bush here a bit on purpose because i want to show the kind of ambiguous foundation this school of magic is built on. it must be! it's precisely not knowing whether you're talking with entropy or with god that opens the door. it's honing in on that unknownness and widening it.

religion tries to coax you into "knowing" or defining god -- this kills it. the more characteristics you give the thing, the more precise conceptual location you find for it -- the more bulk of it you exclude. do not give it borders.

so, more specifically, i'm receptive to lost shoes because i have past synchronistic experience with them: one time i was walking in a really painful slightly too small pair of shoes and i had barely finished saying "damn, i wish i could just... find a more comfortable pair of shoes" before i practically tripped over a pair of more comfortable slightly too large beige toms. so the act of seeing an abandoned shoe on the ground has like... an electrical conductivity playing across the surface of the thought for me.

i haven't really done the story justice (or this idea of conceptual electrical conductivity) but it's probably one of my top five instances of almost mastering deliberate manifestation, in addition to the associated cinderella brainwash, so there's a lot of stuff rolling around in my head when i see a lost shoe.

the act of seeing two different shoes, one on each side of the river, after getting stood up for a date, is fucking smarmy, and i would like god to stop now. i haven't finished figuring out what i'm supposed to figure out from this yet, so this isn't probably the best case study, but here are a couple other instances of circumstantial scrying:

i found a white rose on the ground, and in retrospect i should have seen the color and not just the flower -- if it had been a red rose i might have ended up where i thought i was headed, but i wish i had seen that it was a flag of surrender.

five years ago i made a prediction and took a gamble, and it's working out creepily well. i was about a month off. i'm taking this as an indication to proceed

the shoe thing weirds me out particularly because it comes on the heels of a day or perhaps a week of... not just fruitless but self sabotaging efforts. i thought for a long time about what i wanted to eat and went directly for food that ended up making me puke; i thought for a long time about what i can do to produce more wholesome results in dating and went directly to a noshow; i spent years studying the mystery only to find myself hardly improved, if any different at all... now you're drawing my attention back to this, precisely as it is very patently not working? why? stop.

this is the part where i need to add a disclaimer, and i think it's going to be something like... that door i mentioned earlier, the one that opens at points of synchronicity, and opens more if you don't define it too thoroughly? on the other side is a completely different modality of being, commonly termed madness. this is a sticky problem mired in the way we view and treat madness, not as a door but as a flaw. and i have a lot to say about all the human potential that's been wasted by not treating breakdown as if it were a form of (dangerous) magic, but not now.

i don't think it's possible or practical or advisable to open the circumstantial scry often. i might even say i don't think it's advisable to try to do it at all -- it does itself to you. you can't cause it, you can only notice it.

but it is certainly possible to follow it to useless thoughts or dangerous behaviors or serious instability, so that's the word of caution. i think that heightened sense of receptiveness is related to adrenaline, maybe a side effect of it or a trigger for it, so it's got real potential to become a destructive spiral. like, as you see more, you get more unnerved. the more unnerved you are the more you see. it's a portal to another world.

maybe i'm overthinking it, maybe it's just an overwrought version of "try to learn from the things that happen to you," but it feels bigger than that, one more layer removed, like what are these puppet strings made of?

it's the same sort of dance as the one people refer to after experiencing ego death: once you get a sense of it, you sort of learn to decide whether to jump into the game or not at any given moment. do i interpret this? was it synchromystic? what did it feel like? at what level do i engage with this? the shoes? yeah, okay, i'm gonna be yelling at the abyss for a couple days about this

[foursproutwealth-blog]

When Washington Think Tanks Call For "Action" In The Balkans, Expect Trouble

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/when-washington-think-tanks-call-for-action-in-the-balkans-expect-trouble/

When Washington Think Tanks Call For "Action" In The Balkans, Expect Trouble

Authored by James George Jatras via The Strategic Culture Foundation,

Any time two prestige think tanks in Washington issue a report calling for US “action” in any region of the world, hold onto your hat – you can be sure that trouble is a-brewing. That’s doubly true if the call relates to the Balkans, the place where in the 1990s the post-Cold War pattern was set for American wars of choice and then taken on the road to Iraq, Libya, and Syria.

On May 1, the über-establishment National Committee on American Foreign Policy and the East-West Institute jointly issued a report, “Time for Action in the Western Balkans.” As stated in the summary:

‘Since the end of the Cold War, the United States has been engaged in the Western Balkans to ensure a Europe that is “whole, free and at peace” and a reliable partner for dealing with global challenges. Our goal has been to stabilize the Balkans, and to enhance security throughout Europe, through the integration of the Western Balkans into trans-Atlantic structures. We have succeeded only in part.  Although the Western Balkans are better off now than they were in the 1990s, they are stagnating and risk instability as a result of three factors: deficient internal governance and weak economies, continuing tense relations between ethnic groups and neighboring states, and the malign influence of outside forces.’

One is reminded of the famous quip by Mary McCarthy about Lillian Hellman: “every word she writes is a lie, including ‘and’ and ‘the.’  

Perhaps that’s too harsh. Not every word in the summary paragraph is false. There is indeed a region in Europe known as the Balkans, and as the report notes, some countries lie in the western part of it: “Albania, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Kosovo, Macedonia, Montenegro, and Serbia.” (Wait, there’s some fibbing here too. Kosovo is not a country, it’s an occupied province of Serbia. Nobody is quite sure what exactly Bosnia-Herzegovina is supposed to be. Why no Croatia, is it located in another part of Europe now?)

Each sentence in the summary encapsulates a deception further elaborated in the main report. The following is a handy sentence-by-sentence explanation in normal, straightforward English:

‘Since the end of the Cold War, the United States has been engaged in the Western Balkans to ensure a Europe that is “whole, free and at peace” and a reliable partner for dealing with global challenges.’

The phrase “whole, free and at peace” is ideological claptrap. It is reminiscent of the Soviet Union’s claims of advancing “peace, progress, and socialism.” No one can say precisely what the words really mean but they’re meant to evoke a favorable psychological and emotional response, especially – and ironically – the “peace” reference common to both formulations.

The current phrase seemingly originated in 1989, even before the reunification of Germany or the breakups of Yugoslavia and the USSR, in remarks by George Bush the Elder, but only as “Europe whole and free.” The Orwellian addition of the words “and at peace” evidently occurred in 2001 under the peace-loving, NATO-expanding, and Iraq-invading Bush the Younger.

Still, how does the expression relate to the United States’ being a “reliable partner for dealing with global challenges”? As summarized in 2014 by the Atlantic Council, another top-flight Washington think tank:

‘In 1989, with Central and Eastern Europe still dominated by the Soviet Union and its Warsaw Pact alliance, President George H. W. Bush, addressed the citizens of then-divided Germany with his vision for Europe’s future. He foresaw a united continent, built on a foundation of lasting security and shared values of democracy, freedom, and prosperity. That vision of a “Europe Whole and Free” became a cornerstone of President Bill Clinton’s foreign policy and of NATO’s “open door” policy for membership. At its 1999 Washington summit, NATO swept aside much of Europe’s Cold War division by welcoming three former foes – Poland, the Czech Republic, and Hungary – to the Alliance. Five years later [under George H.W. Bush], Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia, and Slovenia joined NATO in the broadest enlargement of its history. In 2009 [under Barack Obama], the Alliance welcomed Albania and Croatia as members. [JGJ: Now, under Donald Trump add Montenegro in 2017.]

‘In 1993, the European Union established its “Copenhagen criteria,” the principles under which it would welcome new members, unifying most of the continent. This paved the way for the transformation of Central and Eastern Europe toward democracy, the rule of law, respect for fundamental human rights, and market economies. Austria, Finland, and Sweden joined the EU in 1995, followed on May 1, 2004 by eight Central and Eastern European countries (the Czech Republic, Estonia, Hungary, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Slovakia, and Slovenia), and two Mediterranean countries (Malta and Cyprus). Bulgaria and Romania became EU member states in 2007, and Croatia in 2013.’

In other words, the phrase that never leaves the lips of establishment figures of both parties, from Bush 41 down to the present day, almost exclusively means one thing: expansion of NATO and the European Union. The corollary is isolation, exclusion, vilification, and encirclement of Russia.

‘Our goal has been to stabilize the Balkans, and to enhance security throughout Europe, through the integration of the Western Balkans into trans-Atlantic structures.’

If tearing apart Yugoslavia by unilateral recognitions (Slovenia and Croatia, 1991; Bosnia-Herzegovina, 1992) and illegally bombing Serbia (1999) are examples of efforts to “stabilize” the Balkans, one shudders to think what a goal to destabilize would look like.

The report also warns that “Kosovo and Bosnia have been recruiting grounds for radical groups in Syria and Iraq, and a potential staging area for radical incursions in Western Europe.” There’s no hint that the presence of these “radical groups” (What kind? Buddhist? Rastafarian?) has anything to do with earlier US/NATO/EU efforts to “stabilize” the areas in question by arming and funding jihadist fighters, including those affiliated with al-Qaeda.

As for “trans-Atlantic structures” (a rough equivalent of another ideological buzzword, “Euro-Atlantic integration”), we’re back again to the inexorable expansion of NATO and the EU. It seems the goal of stabilization boils down to little more than making sure every country in the region eventually is under secure lock and key as a member of at least one and preferably both of the Brussels-based bureaucracies.

Throughout the report, puzzlingly little attention is given to another certified Goodthink word, democracy.  Perhaps that’s because no regard is given to what people in the region really think or whether or not they want to join NATO or the EU under the conditions demanded. For example, despite polls showing pro-NATO sentiment in Montenegro was at best a bare majority, and more probably the minority position, the corrupt administration of Milo Đukanović in Podgorica and the NATO countries insisted on ramming membership through without risking a popular referendum. The same contempt for democracy is shown in the report’s recommendation that the unelected so-called “High Representative” of Somebody or Other should autocratically “use his powers to intervene, to include drafting and promulgating” a new election law for Bosnia-Herzegovina whether the benighted locals like it or not.

Regarding Serbia, the report states: “NATO membership should remain an option for Serbia, but any U.S. expectations must be tempered by the historical legacy of NATO’s military operations in the region, as well as the likelihood of vociferous Russian opposition.” As euphemisms go, “the historical legacy of NATO’s military operations in the region” as a stand-in for “people resenting the aggressive alliance that bombed them” is hard to beat. Still, Serbs no doubt would be banging on NATO’s door if not for the machinations of those nasty Russians.

As for the EU, the report urges the US to support Belgrade’s accession “while supporting the E.U.’s position that new members comply with its Russia policy and that Serbia will not join unless it recognizes Kosovo.”  Translation: Just roll over and die, and you’re in… maybe.

‘We have succeeded only in part. [JGJ: Such humility!] Although the Western Balkans are better off now than they were in the 1990s, they are stagnating and risk instability as a result of three factors: deficient internal governance and weak economies, continuing tense relations between ethnic groups and neighboring states, and the malign influence of outside forces.’

Here it’s time to cut to the chase: “malign influence of outside forces” means Russia, Russia, Russia. The entire region, Serbia included, would long since have happily been absorbed by the NATO-EU Borg if not for Moscow’s malign meddling:

‘The U.S. and the E.U. should counter Russian interference by (i) re-affirming the continued opportunity for Western Balkan countries to join the E.U., NATO, or both, (ii) countering Russian media manipulation with objective alternative sources of information, and support for independent media [JGJ: Like those “independent” media controlled by western governments and George Soros fronts, one presumes], (iii) advancing the region’s cooperation with NATO and E.U. efforts to promote cyber-security [JGJ: You can never have too much NATO and EU!], and (iv) analyzing the extent to which other energy sources, including U.S. liquefied gas (LNG), can serve as exceptional alternatives to Russian energy [JGJ: According to the report, cheap Russian energy is a “potential threat to some countries in the region” providing “an opportunity for significant economic leverage” that could be “abused to achieve Russian geopolitical desires,” while by contrast expensive US energy is strictly nonpolitical].’

To sum up, “action” means intensification of the same policies that not only have made a wreck of the Balkans for a quarter of a century but now have brought us a new Cold War and the renewed threat of another world war. But the only warning for American and western policy identified in the report is the “dangers of continued inaction” – we just haven’t been aggressive enough!

Get ready for that to change.

Alright, though – so what? This is just a report from a couple of nongovernmental, independent think tanks. Why does it matter?

In Washington think tanks are far more dangerous than the kind of tanks that have gun turrets and caterpillar tracks. No less than the other organs of power, such as government agencies and the obedient corporate media, think tanks are an integral part of the governing establishment. Like government contractors (who provide a significant portion of think tank funding), think tanks almost exclusively represent the views of a few hundred certified “experts” sharing a remarkable uniformity of opinion regardless of party affiliation. These experts, who inhabit a closed loop of Executive Branch departments and agencies, Congress, media, contactors, think tanks, and NGOs, are responsible for the generation of policy initiatives and their implementation. It should also be noted that many of the most prominent NGOs themselves receive significant funding from government agencies and could more properly be termed “quasi-nongovernmental,” or QuaNGOs.

The people who play key roles in the government and purportedly nongovernmental sectors like think tanks not only think alike, in many cases they are in fact the very same people who have simply switched positions within what could best be understood as a single, hybrid public-private entity that in recent years has come to be known as the Deep State. These sources of expert views also overwhelmingly dominate the content of news and information (for example, serving as media “talking heads” or publishing commentaries), ensuring that what the public sees, hears, and reads is in accord with the analytical papers issued by think tanks, Congressional reports, and official press releases. The result is a closed loop that is almost completely impervious to views regarded as “outside the mainstream” because they do not originate in or accord with the incestuous “consensus” that exists inside the loop.

In short, think tanks like those cited above are an integral part of the ruling apparatus. Their policy recommendations in reports like “Time for Action in the Western Balkans” will be seriously heeded and put into action by the official organs of government. In fact, those recommendations very likely were solicited by the latter precisely for the purpose of providing rationales for a course of action already decided upon.

[silviajburke]

Here’s Why Bogus CPI Data Won’t Slow Fed Tightening

This post Here’s Why Bogus CPI Data Won’t Slow Fed Tightening appeared first on Daily Reckoning.

[This post on Here’s Why Bogus CPI Data Won’t Slow Fed Tightening is from Lee Adler. To find out more about his work – visit Wall Street Examiner.]

One of my other favorite axioms is that bull markets (or “bubbles,” if you please) top out when the news is good, not when everything is already going to hell. Because when the news is good is when central banks pull the punchbowl. They look at the data and see the evidence of asset inflation and dangerous bubbles across many asset classes. And they finally say, “OK, I think you’ve had enough!”

Then, given their inflated notion of their own omnipotence, they set about to engineer a soft landing. The desired soft landing inevitably turns into a vicious bear market that threatens to spiral out of control. The central bankers panic and start pumping money like mad, and if they’re lucky, the markets rebound.

This has been the market cycle ever since modern central banks were formed. Along the way central bankers learned that they could rig the markets to extend the bull phases by printing lots of money. But they also learned that not only doesn’t that spur economic growth, it may even retard healthy economic expansion.

So far, they have always been lucky.

One of these days, Alice, they won’t be.

Last week we got the news on various measures of the prices of consumption goods, led by the consumer price index (CPI). Wall Street, economists, and the financial infomercial media like to pretend that CPI measures inflation. We know that it only measures a tiny arbitrary subset of consumption goods, and a completely phony, made up lie on the cost of housing.

Despite that fact that it does not measure general inflation and doesn’t even accurately measure the typical household cost of living, virtually everyone in the investment business pays homage to it. Then they compare it to the Fed’s “inflation target.” Never mind that everybody excludes asset prices and home prices. The “inflation” target only applies to retail goods and services.

Then everyone waits with bated breath to see whether the number is above or below the Fed’s “inflation” target of 2%. If around or above that level, the conclusion is that the Fed will raise interest rates, which everyone assumes is bearish. Or if the number is below 2%, the Fed won’t raise rates, and that’s supposed to be bullish.

The whole spectacle is absurd because the underlying assumptions are false.

“Raising rates” using the tools the Fed currently pretends to use, is not the same as tightening credit. Increasing the interest rate on excess reserves only pays the banks a bigger subsidy. Tightening credit would necessarily involve shrinking the Fed’s balance sheet. They haven’t done it yet, but they’re talking about it starting soon. CPI above 2% will encourage them to do that.

When I read the FOMC meeting minutes, and see what Fed governors and district presidents are saying, reading between the lines I see something different that what the crowd expects.

Fedheads have made enough offhand remarks about asset prices that I think this is the Fed’s real concern, not whether CPI or PCE are above or below 2%. I’ll give the Fed credit to the extent that I think that they’re smart enough to recognize asset bubbles (too late, yes) and to recognize how dangerous they are to the financial system.

The Fed probably also knows that the popular measures of consumer goods inflation have been persistently understating the true cost of living, which has been rising significantly faster than headline and core CPI. Alternative measures that use accurate housing prices show that “inflation” may be as much as double what the CPI shows.

Therefore it’s my guess that the Fed is now hell bent on tightening monetary conditions by ultimately beginning to shrink its balance sheet late this year or early next year, regardless of what the CPI does.

Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal’s slant, is that, yeah, inflation is above target, but it won’t stay there for long.

Moderating price increases show inflationary pressures are stabilizing this spring after a monthslong acceleration.

The consumer-price index, which measures what Americans pay for everything from radishes to rent, advanced a seasonally adjusted 0.2% in April from the prior month, the Labor Department said Friday. Excluding the often volatile categories of food and energy, so-called core prices rose just 0.1% from March.

So the message then is, “Inflation is low. The Fed won’t tighten. All is well. Rest easy in the moderation of the long term bull market.”

But the facts tell us otherwise. The CPI actually rose 0.3% month to month, Not Seasonally Adjusted (NSA). Why a seasonal adjustment (SA) would have resulted in a gain of only 0.2% between March and April is just one of those mysterious things that make statisticians who come up with stuff seem smart. That’s also why economists like SA data, as opposed to actual data.  I frankly don’t see much evidence of consistent seasonal effects on most months of consumer price data. And a 0.3% gain in April is wholly unremarkable. It’s right in line with past patterns.

The year to year increase in the actual, NSA data was 2.2%. That was within the range of the annual rate of increase of the previous 4 months, which was between 2.1% and 2.7%.  The April year to year number was above the Fed’s target, but the Fed pretends to be targeting the core PCE rather than headline CPI. Core PCE has been running below target.

None of these measures include an accurate rendering of housing prices, instead relying on the IOER measure, or a similar measure based on tenant surveys of contract rent, not market rent. Contract rent typically rises much more slowly than market rent in hot housing markets such as the one we have been in since prices started accelerating in 2012.

The Flyover CPI measures consumer prices including actual home prices, and with slightly greater weight given to medical costs and energy. This is a more accurate representation of actual cost of living increases experienced by middle income families in the American heartland, excluding the big coastal glamour capitals. The most recent data we have for this index is through February. It was running at an annual rate near 5% in February, as home price inflation once again heats up toward rates of 7-8% a year.

The Fed is well aware that the measures that it purportedly follows understate consumer inflation. It is fully aware that we have asset bubbles, and that those bubbles have grown to monstrous proportions.

Unfortunately it has come to these epiphanies far too late to do anything constructive about them. It should have tightened monetary conditions years ago. It should never have loosened to the degree it did. These blunders are a continuation of the Fed history of serial long term blunders.

Now, the past is prologue again, and the Fed must make another of its foreordained blunders. That is tightening in the face of out of control financial instability. The longer it waits, the worse the punishment will be when it’s finally administered.

Or maybe, the markets will just do the job for them, first. Today was a warning shot.  A massive crisis of confidence could trigger a crash that would force the Fed to start buying assets again. This time, it might not work.

Regards,

Lee Adler for The Daily Reckoning

The post Here’s Why Bogus CPI Data Won’t Slow Fed Tightening appeared first on Daily Reckoning.

[carandreviews-blog]

Maserati Ghibli Diesel 2017

The Ghibli official cantina sent Maserati deals taking off when it was initially propelled three years prior. The Italian marque moved only 6300 autos in the prior year it arrived, yet in 2015 that figure had ascended to 33,500. Presently, the Ghibli has been given a midlife redesign.

The outside is untouched, however there are new Luxury and Sport styling bundles while the lodge profits by another touchscreen infotainment framework. The Ghibli can now be indicated with an abundance of driver help frameworks, as well, for example, robotized crisis braking and path takeoff cautioning, as Maserati expects to keep pace with any semblance of the Mercedes E-class.

The organization has endeavored to enhance the Ghibli's solace and refinement, which it now says is a match for anything in the class.

The Ghibli and Ghibli S get Ferrari-assembled V6 petrol motors, creating 345bhp and 404bhp separately, yet by a wide margin the greatest vender will be the Ghibli Diesel, tried here.

The 2987cc, single-turbo unit produces 271bhp and 443lb ft of torque in the vicinity of 2000 and 2600rpm. The transmission highlights the natural ZF eight-speed programmed, reconsidered for quicker gearshifts, with a standard-fit constrained slip differential.

Driving its back wheels the Ghibli Diesel sprints to 62mph in 6.3 seconds and tops out at 155mph.

The most prominent specialized redesign has been to the suspension, which has been retuned to enhance the auto's ride quality. Its weight appropriation is equitably part 50:50 front to raise and as standard it rides on latent dampers, however versatile dampers can be indicated.

The case utilizes a modern twofold wishbone plan on the front pivot, with a multi-connect setup at the back. In accordance with client criticism the Ghibli opposes the pattern for electro-water driven power guiding help, rather utilizing a more conventional pressure driven framework.

The new infotainment framework, which highlights a 8.4-inch touchscreen, is perfect with both Apple CarPlay and Android Auto.

In spite of the fact that the auto's inside quality is for the most part great and the dashboard plan extremely sleek, the lodge is fairly let around its seats. They are mounted too high for a certain something, and for another the cushioning is firm. The controlling wheel, in the interim, feels awkwardly fat in your grasp, which, it must be stated, is a typical torment all through the business nowadays.

Early Ghiblis were to some degree traded off by upsetting directing and a cruel ride quality, especially on greater wheels. In both regards the new form delivers helpful enhancements, and keeping in mind that the controlling is a long way from open it is desirable over the undeniably normal, orchestrated electric frameworks.

The ride quality, in the interim, was by and large great on the smooth streets of the Cote d'Azur dispatch course, however there is still some instability over how well the overhauled Ghibli will manage an all the more difficult British street. Its long adventure refinement is great, however, bettered just by the fairly extraordinary new E-class.

Maserati charges itself as a maker of GT autos, which insinuates a specific level of element ability. In game mode, with its discretionary versatile dampers changed to their firmer setting, the Ghibli is capable and created over a twisting street while never being truly exciting. The Pirelli P Zero tires discover great grasp and body control is solid, yet the adjust is benign to the point that there's no genuine motivator for pursuing the auto as far as possible.

The diesel motor returns successful execution, however regardless of that noteworthy torque figure it never feels as critical through the mid-run as a few contenders. Being a solitary turbo unit the motor comes up short on muscle before 4000rpm, which means this isn't one of those uncommon and bizarrely fulfilling diesel burners. The soundtrack is in any event sensibly curbed, be that as it may.

In spite of the fact that Maserati has looked to enhance move times the ZF gearbox still isn't exactly as responsive in this application as it is in some others, most remarkably the Ghibli's Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio cousin. It is refined and unfussy in auto mode, however.

The unmistakable class pioneer until further notice is the Mercedes E-class, which is an innovative visit de constrain. With another BMW 5-arrangement and Audi A6 not too far off, nonetheless, that might be going to change. In the strictest target terms the Ghibli misses the mark regarding the elevated requirements set by the E-class, yet there is without a doubt a lot of offer in the Maserati identification, its unmistakable styling and, maybe more vitally, the Italian's class driving remaining qualities.

The Ghibli Diesel costs from £49,860. The petrol-fueled Ghibli and Ghibli S will make up only a little portion of the auto's deals, yet their hearty, enthusiastic motors are overwhelmingly all the more fulfilling.

[lovemrsirwin000posts-blog]

Ayurvedic Recommendations for Very good Ingestion

Ayurvedic Tricks of Wonderful Digestive systemWith regard to ayurveda, eating routine along with steer clear of will be approved same worth to maintain a sound body. Equally looking for may healthy foods with your constitution can bring about differences, subsequent to unlawful routines and therefore patterns can easily ruin your entire ingestion, becoming also conscientiously chosen and also food products inside of ama or alternatively toxic matter within your body as an alternative to ojas, a biochemical essence that supports every aspect of life, health and wellness, ecstasy together with toughness. Below are a few widely required thoughts most typically associated with taking that will ayurvedic healers vouch for to keep your digestive function working economically: 5. Enjoy a few daily meals. Fasting combined with skipping meals are generally not strongly suggested from ayurveda basically because they throw the the digestive system beats off from. A simple eating breakfast, a tremendous lunch meal in addition to a lightweight lunch mean you can stay in tune with the adapt of a the disgestive system relationship, and this collects through the daily, peaks about afternoon after which it ebbs any more during the night time. As early as you arise, drink a mug of hot water where some tablespoon concerning lemon juice has been integrated. This’ll help removals, obtain the digestive mindset coming in, not to mention clean your gastrointestinal system. Caffeinated refreshments are generally not recommended inside ayurveda. A delicate for the morning is significant to assist you to kick-start the actual digestive and share utility necessary to do this game throughout. Once you hold back until lunch or dinner to take an effective snack, chances are you may be tempted if you want to sort down into in which container with playing chips and / or obtain doughnut a time while in the morning hours. Use a stewed business or else pear, and then go along with Fifty percent afterwards which includes comfortable breakfast cereal or even whole-wheat flatbread distributed with a small sweetheart or else almond butter. Heat correctly snacks will be most well-liked as breakfast goods through very cold breakfast cereal, cold entire milk coupled with chilly drink, all of which are not as easy at the waking up the disgestive system flames. For that mid-morning snack, pick new fruit�an apple company company regarding Kapha, your fantastic pear for the purpose of Pitta coupled with a pear and also various berries with regards to Vata. Crops can be the option consumed the next day, the sensation you get specific to it. The best ayurvedic lunch provides a few varieties vegetables, one of these could be a real green eco friendly; a new lentil or perhaps coffee bean satellite dish or even a paneer course; the whole brown rice; an actual chutney and even thrive on; a encouraging associated with a comfy salad and soups; or lassi, a good ingest produced by joining together fresh new all-natural plus liquids. Lots of the dinners ought to be grilled equipped with dosha-appropriate salt, and using any dosha-appropriate healthy and balanced fat�ghee to get Vata and Pitta together with extra virgin olive oil designed for Kapha are excellent methods. It could mimic an incredible lunch, but meals are often held on to small to moderate�the type is critical to obtain healthful, proper diet. If you want a in the evening junk food, eat a minimal helping to from condensed mad (almonds must be blanched) those who are doing this to debt Vata, or a handful of sunflower or pumpkin plant seeds for anybody who is hoping to steadiness Pitta and Kapha. Stovetop popcorn reasonably without having sea or simply butter is also fine for Kapha, and even drenched blanched almonds with regards to Pitta. For dinner follow a smallish, soft dish a 1 container veg rice lasagna pan or maybe a vegetable/lentil sauces along with a whole-wheat flatbread, to provide an example. Beverage plenty of real standard water throughout the day, then again decrease your entire h2o or liquid ingest from daily meals. Really don’t ingest hot, carbonated as well as caffeinated drinks and stay away from booze together with milk by way of foods. At bed time, take in a glass of warm and comfortable use spiced by working with nutmeg when it comes to Vata, cardamom when it comes to Pitta along with cinnamon for Kapha. Fresh foods are simpler to break up, so prepare dinner simply how you feel you’ll be able to get your meals at meals. For boosting the appetite, employ a golf slice connected with recent ginger herb spiked with just a few are insane salt combined with fresh lemon juice about an hour earlier than a meal. Chew on fennel hybrid tomato seeds after food for boosting digestive system and even freshen the particular breath of air easily. Getting rasayanas which include Amalaki as well as Triphala after supper furthermore boosts digestive function in addition to retention so enabling it get rid of ama consistently. Some. Get your meals at within the the exact same situations daily Such as your relaxation ,get up trap, your absorption can even make full use of a consistent normal routine. Pre method meals to the morning to have sufficient time to maintain holding your body. Liquid as well as foodstuff can be the next to environment to obtain emergency survival. If you want digestive function is definitely certified to start working found at many arrange situations by simply standard method, it truely does work quickly and easily to enhance extra ojas in the foodstuff eaten. Ojas is easily the most ready-made system for the digestive process�the biochemical principe which often sustains daily life or health related. Nutritional ingredients out of the certain foods take in usually are digested or ingested within the optimum particular degree due to figure, also toxins are really flushed out efficiently, giving tiny house for ama--digestive toxins�to establish inside your body coupled with turn into an atmosphere regarding instability and additionally concerns. A few. Steer clear of incompatible foods varieties Ayurvedic texting put together a lot of foodstuff products which often overtax these ingestion and even bring about grown ama build-up. Get and even cream, as an illustration, must in combination with high sodium as well as poisonous is more enjoyable. Canteloup must not be taken in that has strong ingredients like fontina, fried foodstuffs or maybe the wider source. Berries, as a general rule, could be enjoyed untreated since it is immediately broken down. Animal meat or possibly trout need to grabbed as well as whole milk. Sugar will never be very hot or even processed. By and large, as soon as you stick to the recipe regulations combined with meal hints allocated over, you will definitely avert just about all mismatched nourishment merger. A person all round tenet to follow along with will be to possibly not actually eat goodies with various steer clear of time with definitely one ski. A few. Prepare your food properly also absolutely adore All the details are fastened. Of the dishes we can eat to work as ojas, it is important to prepare it equipped with consideration, having a positive frame of mind, care together with enjoy. Several lifestyle have got the works about preparing in addition to having to eat almost holy. Inside of the Vedic convention, these gourmet chef bathes and will be offering as a consequence of agni�fire� before you start the position about arranging initial diet in the course of for the family. Really don’t preparing meals (or else try to eat) whenever you’re irritate and disturbed, on account of your busy coupled with prevent are really negatively afflicted with detrimental inner thoughts and does not digest which will food economically. Enjoy nearby or else room or space understood to obtain dining in your house and / or company, far from ahead of the video or possibly and a workstation. Calm a sexy perfume go an individual’s kitchen about an hour so that you can start consuming fruit, coriander, sweet orange colored and additionally mint are very good alternatives to tickle hunger and have this enzymatic fruit juices glowing. Dress up your home by working with fresh flowers or a very tablecloth. Guarantee goodies to the food is actually give before you can stay to consume so that you can need not get into action why don’t you be unfocused on the mealtime once you start consuming. 5. Perform cognizant having to eat Our bait is, unhappily, a good while on the move, 24/7, acquire the whole thing succesfully done recently planet. Boosting multi-tasking to help you feeding on can be a often-seen craving which usually in all probability may cause plenty of health threats that could be eliminated for further basically spent the time to conform your food the interest rate this is worthy of. The best time which happens to be perceived as got rid of by means of not doing anything but yet taking in could certainly no doubt be made up within better vigor in addition to work flow often the relished, well-digested dining event goes back with you. Feasting on quietly, along with your is attracted to focused on all the fragrances, flavours, textures and colors of your eating plan is best, with soft, comfortably enjoyable phone call and even light beats in the shadows a second-best solution. Bickering, remarkably compelling chats as well as correcting youngsters are recreation definitely not well suited for meals. Other types of reminiscent dietary habits to pursue: Fail to work and also connect around the phone during the day. Usually do not read or sometimes watch a movie. Supply you with many thanks or even rest in silence each minute prior to feeding. Do not ever gulp affordable the food; experience each and every chew along with eat well before most people digest. Various sips involved with very hot water on the meals might help food digestion, such as the juice a lot of any sort of refreshment. To all meals, don’t try to eat and soon you are incredibly whole. The proper ayurvedic quantity is what you could potentially carry in your own two cupped give joined together. Giving a number place within the digestive system while you’re handled enhances digestion of food. Once you are done feeding, lie privately number of no time at all; you shouldn’t without delay run away to execute the next chore for the day.

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