#if anyone's interested id go off on another post but only if people wanna hear it

[storm-driver]

i'm rewatching a bunch of the kh3 promotional trailers bc i'm trying to document how the advertising team for KH sorta sucks and it's what led to an overall negative reception for kh3's release (not hating kh3, just making observations on how it was marketed).

and i've discovered something.

i somehow missed the re:mind trailer that showed off yozora and the whole secret boss ending, as well as the guardians of light fight entirely, and that actually made me enjoy re:mind way more than i would've.

i was someone that watched every single kh3 trailer leading up to release, and to say i was expecting the stuff going on in the base game was an understatement. i actually predicted and theorised on a lot of stuff that happened based solely on the trailers we had gotten, and i was right in a lot of it. replicas being important, xion being the last vessel they needed, lingering will being connected to namine.

and at the time, i was a little underwhelmed by the release, despite enjoying it a lot. however, the game loses the luster if you already know where it's going to go, and the trailers fed people so much that by the time you got to the actual game, you just had to make your own hype be the fuel for enjoying it.

however, because i had only watched a single re:mind trailer, and i only saw portions of it, i didn't know what was gonna happen at all. i knew roxas was playable, but that was really it. maybe i saw scala, nothing else. nothing that made me ballistic like the kh3 trailer's did.

unironically, not watching the trailers and letting the game present itself to me organically without the pre-establishing influence of marketing made it so much more enjoyable.

it's kinda remarkable.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[qlala]

Is it cheating to submit a fic request for the pride post you just made? I neeeed the whole thing (I'm on my laptop, but insert the big gay eyes emoji)

fjskdgjslg "big gay eyes emoji" you know what? just for you. just for you i have written this. i'll clean it up and upload to ao3 later but for now: have 2.7k of len dragging a sunburnt, tipsy, and glitter-covered barry back to his apartment, and happy pride!

Len wasn’t the type to begrudge anyone a good time, especially when the good time involved loud music, leather harnesses, and throwing water bottles at cops. Central City’s annual pride parade came as close as it got to challenging that attitude; families, fellow queers, and queens descended on the city waving more flags than the United Nations after a hurricane, all decked out in color combinations that Len hadn’t been able to keep straight since the ‘80s. 

The end result was the kind of crowds that could make a grown man feel claustrophobic in the middle of a city block, and that was without the visible haze of alcohol wafting off the whole event. 

But what the parade lacked in personal space, it made up for with one very important commodity: unattended wallets. 

The flock of sunburnt twinks in denim cut-offs made Len’s job almost too easy—a hand on a sweat-slicked lower back, a flash of blue eyes, and most of them wouldn’t have noticed their wallets going missing if Len had dangled their IDs in front of their faces afterwards. (While there were plenty of women dressed in just as little clothing whom Len certainly wouldn’t have minded getting within robbing distance of, he’d found queer women as a group to be less enthusiastic about uninvited touching and more enthusiastic about wallet chains, even when three sheets to the wind off of canned rosé.)   

He’d taught a dozen visiting suburbanites the importance of not keeping valuables in their back pockets by the time he spotted a familiar profile in the crowd. 

His usual red getup wasn’t much more modest than some of the outfits Len had already seen, but even knowing the shape of that body didn’t prepare Len for seeing Barry Allen stripped to the waist, bright-eyed and flushed and shimmering all over with a fine dusting of glitter. Len noted, on auto-pilot, that it didn’t seem like he’d put any of the glitter there himself; he was standing dangerously close to a drag queen throwing handfuls of the stuff on anyone who got within arm’s reach of her. It set the sun refracting off every dip and plane of muscle across Barry’s chest and stomach. Barry’s hair, already wild and dark at the roots with sweat, was full of it.   

Len’s feet were carrying him closer before he gave himself permission to move. Barry managed to drag Len into his orbit at the best of times; visibly tipsy and dripping sweat, Len would’ve had better luck resisting the turning of the earth. 

Up close, Len could take that Barry had lost his shirt somewhat recently; the slight touch of pink spanning his shoulders and chest had nothing on the serious flush across his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He had a spray of new freckles as well. They were barely distinguishable under the haze of glitter stuck to his skin, but Len noticed them at once, the change unmistakable on an otherwise unchanging face (not a scar to be seen, even after three years of running into burning buildings and jumping in front of bullets; Len was equal parts frustrated and relieved).   

It looked like someone had painted a few strokes of color across one of his cheeks at some point, but it was smudged to hell and back. The back of one of Barry’s hands was stained a tell-tale matching purple, and Len could only guess at what it had been at the start of the day. 

He stepped into Barry’s space as easily as he had the rest, taking care to keep Barry between him and the source of the glitter, and hesitated for the briefest moment with his hand above Barry’s spine. He’d never touched Barry like this, skin to skin; the gloves had never come off between them, metaphorically or literally. Kept things neat. 

Nothing about Barry was neat right now. He turned even before Len touched him, and the movement brought Len’s hand into contact with his side instead. It took everything in Len not to pull it back in a flinch, and he met Barry’s curious glance with a tightly-controlled smirk. 

He’d expected Barry to step back, maybe add a bit of blush to those already-pink cheeks. Instead, Barry’s eyes took a belated second to focus, and then he gave Len a face-splitting grin. 

“Snart!” 

That time, Len did have to pull backwards to avoid Barry dragging him in for a hug. To think he’d been concerned about a hand. 

Barry didn’t seem the least bit put out, smiling loose and easy like Len hadn’t iced him to the door of a bank vault the last time they’d seen each other. He hadn’t taken Barry for such a cheerful drunk—he seemed inclined toward melodrama on a good day—but Len would take it over any of the alternatives. 

“Barry. Fancy seeing you here. And so much of you, at that.” He let his gaze slide down his bare chest and stomach, pulse ticking up at the warm brown of his nipples and the sharp vee of his hipbones that invited his gaze further down. 

“You’re overdressed,” Barry disagreed. He wasn’t quite slurring, but there was a careful deliberation in his tone that told Len it was a near thing. He took a step closer and peered at Len, suspicion evident in those pale green eyes.   “And… sober.”

“I’m not here to score. Perks include keeping my shirt on.” 

For the briefest second, Barry looked almost disappointed. But it was gone in a blink, confusion taking over. He glanced down at himself, puzzled. Then his expression cleared, and he looked up with another easy-going smile.  “I got hot.” His gaze dropped again, to Len this time, and he licked his lips. “Aren’t you… you gotta be hot in all that.” 

Len was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and thin jacket, and it hadn’t hit eighty degrees all week. But he wasn’t in the mood to argue with drunk logic. And besides, another scan of the nearby revelers had made something unpleasant begin to scratch insistently at the inside of Len’s chest, and he tapped Barry under the chin with one knuckle to bring his attention back up. 

The contact startled both of them—Len’s control had slipped, something he could not afford to happen around Barry Allen—but Len recovered first. “Where’s the rest of your team of do-gooders?” 

“Lost ‘em.” Judging by the return of Barry’s crooked grin, it was an accomplishment, not a concern. “Cisco said the shot was too strong, but I didn’t wanna go. He’s the d…” He faltered, brows pulling together as he frowned. “S’the designed. Designinated, superhero, anyway. Shh!” 

He shot a pointer finger toward Len in a movement that Len clocked, alarmingly, as intending to be pressed to his lips, as if he were the one who’d been chatting about Vibe’s secret identity. Len had three years of dealing with the Flash to thank for being able to catch Barry’s wrist in time to stop him, and he glared at him for the attempt. 

But Barry only gave him a crinkle-eyed smile and twisted his hand in Len’s grip to clasp his wrist back. “S’so good to see you here. I didn’t think…” 

“Don’t tell me you had me pegged for straight.” 

Barry made a frankly insulting noise halfway between a scoff and a hiccup and tilted Len a condescending look. 

“Speedster, remember?” he asked, far too loudly, even for a crowd currently screaming along to a pop song that’d been bad enough the first time Len’d heard it in 2000. “I see it when you...” He let go of Len’s wrist to make a gesture with two fingers, parting them in a V and sweeping them up and down Len’s body, the muscles in his forearm shifting distractingly under Len’s hand. God, the kid had to be a hundred degrees. “When you check me out. In the suit.” 

Len smirked. “It’s cute you thought I was being subtle.” 

“You’re cute,” Barry muttered, childish and sulky, and Len took it for the compliment it wasn’t. 

“You had a point, Barry.” 

Barry still looked displeased with him, but his brow was furrowed again when he met his gaze. This close, it was impossible to ignore that Barry had an inch or so on him. “About what?” 

“You didn’t think…?” Len prompted him. 

Barry stared at him blankly, and Len rolled his eyes and let go of his wrist. 

“Get out of the sun, Barry,” he said. “Find a park bench. Wait for your little friends to come find you. Shouldn’t be hard—you’re as red as your suit.” 

Barry either ignored his last comment or didn’t hear it. “Iris is here somewhere,” he said, possibly to himself. “She’s…” He twirled his finger absently beside his head. “Curly, today. And… bikini.” 

Len strongly considered abandoning Barry to his sunburn to go find out for himself. But Barry was beginning to sway a bit, and a man closer to Len’s age than Barry’s was giving Barry’s toned back a speculative look from a few feet away, and Len gave in to the unsettled feeling gnawing at his ribcage. He refused to call it worry. It was annoyance—or, at the very least, the feeling was annoying him, which was close enough.   

“As much a sight for sore eyes as that would be,” he said, allowing a magnanimousness he didn’t feel to color his tone, “I doubt Miss West ran away from her group and got heatstroke. Unlike some people” 

Barry didn’t look the least bit chastened, lips curving up mischievously in a way that drew another couple interested looks. Len needed to get them both out of the crowd before he started breaking noses.

“Tell you what. Give Cisco a call, tell him you went home. My bike’s on Kingsbridge, away from the parade route.” 

Barry’s smirk sharpened. “Trying to get me out of here, Snart? I thought you weren’t here to score.” 

Len gave him a flat look, ignoring the decidedly interested way his body was reacting to Barry’s tone. 

“You can barely stand.” 

Barry’s eyes glittered at the challenge, and Len realized his mistake. 

“Barry—” 

He hadn’t even finished biting out the second syllable when the world spun out from under him, the noise and the heat and the press of the crowd swallowed up in a hair-raising charge of yellow lightning. Exactly two and a half seconds passed in a blur of movement, just long enough for Len to realize Barry was supporting the back of his head with one too-warm hand. Then the world came skidding to a stop around them. Barry’s momentum carried them both forward several feet even after their new surroundings materialized, and they very nearly went straight through a window again before Barry seemed to remember how to stop. 

Len considered pushing him out the window anyway for the stunt. True, he’d been itching to get another taste of that feeling, the ozone snap-drag of Barry’s power like a live wire under his hands, but he’d rather have waited until Barry could pass a breathalizer. 

He realized Barry still had an arm around him and shoved him off. It did nothing to dim Barry’s self-satisfied grin, and Len had to look away or risk giving into the interested once-over Barry was skimming over his body again. 

“Pretty sure the point of a designated driver is not doing that.” 

Barry followed him when he took a step back. Len made a calculated decision, decided the risk of touching Barry again was worth it, and pressed his fingers to the middle of Barry’s chest—right where the Flash insignia would be on his suit, his brain offered unhelpfully—and pushed him backwards, hard. 

Barry unbalanced and wheeled back a step. Then the backs of his knees hit the edge of the couch, and he toppled, satisfyingly, back onto the dark leather cushions. 

It was a nice couch. The whole apartment was nice, actually. Len could’ve drawn a perimeter of possible locations based on Barry’s speed and how long it had taken them to reach it if he hadn’t already known the address. 

“Sit,” he said. And then, with a smirk: “Stay.” 

Barry rolled his eyes. “Gonna have to ask nicer than that if you wanna boss me around in bed.”

The way he threw it out there, easy as anything, almost made Len miss a step as he turned away. He wasn’t going to lay a hand on Barry, not when he was drunk on sunlight and skin and whatever concoction Cisco had apparently cooked up for him. But hearing him say it, like they’d already gotten all of the messy parts out of the way—it set off warning bells in Len’s head, flashing past all the possible off-ramps he would’ve taken if Barry had ever tried to have the conversation in a more linear fashion. 

“You’re drunk,” Len said, which was a coward’s answer, and behind him, Barry made a vague noise of agreement. 

“Probably,” he acknowledged. “You could stick around ‘til I’m not.” 

Christ. Len didn’t trust himself to look at Barry again, not when he knew he’d find him sprawled out and shedding glitter all over what had looked like a very expensive couch. “Stay,” he repeated, and went off to find the kitchen. 

By the time he got back with two glasses of water, the problem had solved itself; Barry was out cold on the couch, his painting cheek pressed to the throw pillow he’d curled himself half-around. He was shivering faintly in the air conditioning, all cooled sweat and goosebumps, and Len resigned himself to the now-familiar impulse to help him that stirred in his chest. He put one of the glasses down on the table and, not trusting his hands, knocked his knee into one of Barry’s where it was bent close to the edge of the couch. 

Barry buried his face into the pillow with a noise of displeasure, and Len said his name again. 

“Last warning,” Len said. “Ten seconds, you find out if I put on steel-toed boots today.” 

Barry groaned, and if the sound hadn’t made Len’s pulse skip, the easy shift of muscles in Barry’s arm as he pushed himself up to sitting again would’ve done the trick. 

“Water,” Len said, unnecessarily, as he passed him the glass. 

Barry took it with the tips of his fingers, as if it were something personally offensive to him, and took a single, polite sip before putting it down beside the other with no small amount of distaste. Then he glanced between the glasses, and up at Len, a dirty spark already lighting behind his eyes again. 

“Don’t get your hopes up. They’re both for you.” 

Barry let out a breath with audible annoyance and dropped back against the couch cushions to glare at him. 

Len felt a modicum of sanity return to him. This, at least, was familiar ground: Barry, frustrated, asking for too much, too soon. True, it had always been about the hero business until now, but Len knew a pattern when he saw one. Give Barry an inch, and he always took a mile. 

Len gave Barry one last, appraising look. He looked ridiculous, all self-righteousness and bare skin. There was only one break in the otherwise even coat of glitter, there on Barry’s side: faint, but unmistakable, the outline of Len’s hand on his waist. The feeling in Len’s chest coalesced into something pleased and possessive. He met Barry’s glare with a slow curl of his lips, then gave him an inch.  

“Call me when you’re sober, Barry,” he said, letting his voice slip into the Cold drawl just to watch Barry’s eyes go dark. “And you can show me how well you sit up and beg.” 

He could see the impatience radiating off of Barry’s frame, the effort it was taking him to stay on the couch instead of closing the space between them. 

“Call your friends,” he reminded him. “Enough people got a look at your face today without the CCPD splashing it on every milk carton, too.”

In the elevator, Len reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the thin black wallet he’d liberated from Barry during their sprint across the city. Two and a half seconds: child’s play. A little extra incentive for Barry to track him down in the morning, not that Len thought he needed it. He flipped it open, noted the deer-in-the-headlights picture of Barry on his driver’s license with amusement, and then thumbed open the bill compartment. 

Len smirked. Barry wouldn’t miss a few dollars; he owed him for the dry-cleaning it was gonna take to get the glitter out of his jacket, anyway. 

[loominggaia]

Fanfiction: New York (part 8)

Anon uploaded part 8 of their New York fanfic! You can read the other parts under the fanfic tag.

Posted under the cut:

The morning arrived, the crew waking up as Zeffer went to sleep. Day three of their hunt for Evan had officially began and the crew was beginning to realize this was gonna be harder then they thought. First off this city was HUGE!!! This New York place being much, much larger then any city they have ever been to before so their was a lot of places to search. The second thing and one they didn’t wanna think about is what if Evan wasn’t here? What would they do then? No. He had to be here.

The crew was gonna be here awhile, a long while they could tell and where gonna need food, supplies, a place to sleep that wasn’t some rat infested abandoned building. But in order to get any of that they where gonna one thing, money. They where not broke but may as well have been, GP was next to useless here so they where gonna need some of this earth money to get by. Zeffer told them before going to sleep he found somebody who could solve their id issue but it was gonna cost them big time.

But their was one thing above getting cash or finding Evan the whole crew was in desperate need of right now, a bath! Being unwashed for two days and sleeping in a old building filled with rodents had the crew smelling rather foul. Elska found a pond nearby during her search yesterday they could use and while they didn’t have any soap on them it was still better then nothing. It was decided that the Elska, Alaine and Jeimos would bath first, lukus and Issac after and Zeffer whenever he woke up.

Kimi woke up in her flat to the sound of her alarm, it was a work day and she had to get ready. Getting out of bed she got herself ready, the events of yesterday still fresh in her mind. Her meeting with those two foreign cosplayers had been all she could think about, it’s a real shame she couldn’t get a phone number or social media from either. She really wanted to see them again, especially that cute Alaine girl, and ask whether they found their friend or not.

Alaine, Elska and Jeimos made their way to the lake. Them stripping off their sweaty armor and hopping into the cool waters, hoping to soak off all dirt and filth. As Alaine plunged into the water she fully expected to feel the familiar sensation of changing into her aquatic form, the flash and light and feeling of her legs fusing into a tail. But as Alaine got her hair wet something strange happened, or should we say didn’t happen.

Alaine felt nothing? No flash of light, no leg fusion, not a single thing? She looked down in confusion to see she was still in her terrian form, a sinking feeling that something was wrong took over. She dipped the back of her head in deeper into the water, being sure to get all her hair soaked. Nothing. Her confusion turned more panicked, why was she not transforming? In one final test she dove under the water, fully submerging into the lake.

As Alaine dove under the water she waited for something, anything to happen but nothing did. Her tail and more pressingly her gills never emerged. For the first time since she was a child Alaine found herself holding her breath, unable to breath underwater. Her lungs burned and called for air, she frantically swam up to the surface desperate for air. Jeimos and Elska where at the shore washing themselves, not paying attention to Alaine diving. She was mermaid so they didn’t need to worry.

That illusion was burst as Alaines head busted up from the waters surface, violently coughing and gasping for air. That got the pairs attention as they made their way to Alaine, pulling her close to the shore. That’s when they noticed she wasn’t in aquatic form, but why? She was completely submerged a minute ago how does she still have her legs? Something wasn’t right and Jeimos had an idea on what it is, these thoughts having plagued them since they first arrived on earth.

Kimi made her commute to work, the trip being the same as every other day. Traffic, blaring horns, drivers screaming at each other from their car windows, same as every other day. Pulling into the hospitals parking lot a nagging thought crossed her mind, it being about the cosplayers missing friend. While she’s never seen a Mr. Evan Atlas as a patient that doesn’t mean someone else hasn’t. Just out of curiosity she’d ask around to see if anyone has a patient by that name.

After rescuing Alaine from near drowning they where now on the shore, Alaine visibly shaking and freaked out. She told them what happened and was asking why she hadn’t changed? Something was clearly wrong with her as this has never happened before. Jeimos told the two they had a theory but wanted to wait to tell the whole crew, it was something they all might want to hear. Drying off and getting dressed they made their way back to base.

“What do you mean theirs no magic”! The crew asked in unison. Jeimos clarifies to them that for the whole duration of their stay they have not sensed a single bite of magic here at all. At first they believed it was just due to being in an iron rich city but after seeing what happened to Alaine they now knew it was something else entirely. This earth place, it had no magic energy flowing through it unlike Gaia. To demonstrate Jeimos tried to cast a pyromancy spell.

Jeimos could cast the spell but instead of a huge jet of flames only tiny sparks came out. Even this alone took a lot out of Jeimos who staggered and started coughing. They explained that the lack of magic could explain why Alaine didn’t change into her aquatic form or why they didn’t find werewolf Evan their first night, theirs not enough magic surrounding them to fuel their change. This didn’t bode well for Jeimos and Zeffer, both being Fey and for Zeffer a vampire and thus reliant on magic.

The crew stopped their, they didn’t want to think about it. They didn’t want to think of what might happen to Jeimos or Zeffer if they stay too long or if they can even get home. The only thing they knew no whas they needed to amp up their search, find Evan and leave earth even faster. The crew split again to continue the search, back to the groups they had yesterday. Alaine was feeling rather stressed and anxious about this mornings events and needed to blow off some steam.

Alaine had a devilish idea on how to both blow off steam and get some quick cash. She turned to lukus and asked him if he felt like helping her do a little ‘hunting’. At the hospital the day was going by same as any other, new patients in various conditions flooding in, doctors and nurses rushes between rooms, patients or their families arguing with doctors over their diagnosis, the usual. Kimi was asking some of her coworkers if they have seen this Evan fellow with most saying no.

Still determined to see if this Evan guy passed threw here she decided to use her lunch to ask if they had a patient record for a Mr. Evan Atlas. If not then her suspicions could be put to rest. Lunch arrived and kimi did just that and reviewed patient records looking for any Evans. After going threw about 5 different names she found it! And what she found was a dead ringer for who those two cosplayers where talking about. Tall, beefy, blonde, missing a leg. It all checked out.

Kimi was also shocked to figure out this was the “Gaia guy” she was hearing about. Evan was in the over end of the hospital and currently in the psychiatric ward, a place she’s early ever stationed. While not directly seeing him her and her crew on this end did hear through word of mouth about a patient that had to be baker acted due to their delusions. Claiming himself to be a werewolf from some fantasy land where mermaids, centaurs and vampires are real.

Evan was sitting in his room, watching tv and eating bland hospital food like he had been doing for weeks. More reports of what people are now calling the “prosperity park centaur” have come flooding in, some teenagers claiming to have been attacked by it and even some blurry photos got taken. It frustrated Evan to no end, knowing his crew was here to rescue him yet having no way of letting them know he’s here. He heard the door to his room and say a nurse walk in.

Evan was confused? Nurses normally didn’t show up to clean for Atleast another 10 minutes? And he didn’t recognize this nurse either. She introduced herself as Kimi Wong and gave him some shocking news, she’d actually spoken to his friends! She actually spoke to Alaine and Lukus, also confirmed that Jeimos and Issac where on earth as well.

He was then disappointed to find out they where not in the hospital to see him, nor did this Kimi girl have a way of contacting them again. She apologized and told Evan the next time she sees them she will tell them where he is. While not exactly what he was looking for it help give Evan hope that he might soon get out of this miserable place and get back home.

*

This story just gets more and more interesting as it goes. Come in Kimi, I believe in you! Interesting to see the fae characters getting weaker without magic, I never even considered that myself. Can’t wait to see the next part. TO BE CONTINUED...?

[serialreblogger]

I saw in the tags of your post that you mentioned van helsing and his manipulative tendencies? what did you mean by that? I've only read Dracula (a while ago) and I'd be v v interested to hear what u have to say about that (and anything else u have to say about that book),,, also if u wanna talk about tma, how do u approach sasha's character when writing ur fics? I love ur writing (and also i could always do with more content about Sasha, I love her so much lol) hope ur doing well!!!! :D

oooooh FRIEND thank you so much HERE WE GO

(@lunarmultishine​ you also asked about Dracula, thank you!)

So--well, let’s start with an example. The following passage is taken from Dr. Seward’s diary entry in Chapter 10, when Van Helsing is first putting some rudimentary anti-vampire measures in poor Lucy’s room:

[ID: photograph of a page in a book, which reads: “Whilst he was speaking, Lucy had been examining the flowers and smelling them. Now she threw them down, saying, with half-laughter and half-disgust:--

‘Oh, Professor, I believe you are only putting up a joke on me. Why, these flowers are only common garlic.’

(in pencilled-in brackets:)To my surprise, Van Helsing rose up and said with all his sternness, his iron jaw set and his bushy eyebrows meeting:--

‘No trifling with me! I never jest! There is grim purpose in all I do; and I warn you that you do not thwart me. Take care, for the sake of others, if not for your own.’ Then, seeing poor Lucy scared, as she might well be, he went on more gently: ‘Oh, little miss, my dear, do not fear me. I only do for your good; but there is much virtue to you in those so common flower. See, I place them myself in your room. I make myself the wreath you are to wear. But hush! No telling to others that make so inquisitive questions. We must obey, and silence is a part of obedience; and obedience is to bring you strong and well into loving arms that wait for you. Now sit still a while. (Pencilled-in brackets close here) Come with me, friend John,”

Here the text is cut off. The phrases “these flowers are only common garlic” and “Take care, for the sake of others, if not for your own” are both underlined in pencil. End ID]

I had to fully stop reading and spend a good minute just quietly repeating “ooooh man. oooOOOOh man. hooooooooooOOOO” like

[ID: that one tiffany pollard meme where she’s sitting on a bed with sunglasses on conveying an emotion that is simultaneously indecipherable and entirely representative of my mental state. End ID]

until my brain kicked back in, because. well, there’s a lot to unpack here.

Setting aside, for the moment, the biblical allusion I’m tempted to see in “take care for the sake of others, if not for your own” (especially because Van Helsing peppers every other sentence with some kind of phrasing or imagery ripped straight from the Christian New Testament, which is frankly another point in the “probably a cultist” column), this is like. A textbook guide on how to abuse your authority and become a cult leader.

Let’s break it down:

Lucy laughs, genuine but bordering on derisive, because she can’t quite believe this is what her doctor is telling her to do: You’re playing a joke, surely! she says. “These flowers are only common garlic.”

[ID: A hand holds a yellow flower to a dog’s nose. The dog is visibly horrified. This is accurate to what Lucy’s face presumably looked like when she realized her doctor’s solution was a lot of garlic weeds. End ID]

At this, Van Helsing presents the reader with Step 1 of Engendering Superstition To Accrue Power: fearmonger. Or more precisely, demonstrate a sudden, shocking shift from friendly to threatening, and make it clear that this is directly because the person you want to control expressed doubt (about your teachings or your authority).

Scare them.

Establish that they are not permitted to question you. “There is grim purpose in all I do; and I warn you that you do not thwart me.”

He also throws in a bit of “if you don’t do so, you’ll be hurting other people,” which is a nice touch. Very effective when your victim is displaying potential signs of Heroic Non-Compliance--if they can’t be persuaded to fall in line out of vague unnamed fear for their own safety, there’s always the “guilt and potential unspecified danger to others” that can coerce the more self-sacrificing of the populace.

[ID: a grainy screenshot of Bo Donaldson, captioned “Billy, don’t be a hero, come back to me”. He’s really belting it out. End ID]

After he has her good and scared, he moves smoothly onto Step 2: be the comforter. “Seeing poor Lucy scared, he went on more gently: “Oh, little miss, my dear, do not fear.” You’ve established your ability to govern through fear, but that’s a tenuous mode of control at best. People will obey you for a brief time out of terror, but they will only truly serve something they think will keep them safe. Be the danger they fear, and the only one to promise them safety. The better you are at this, the more total your control. Van Helsing makes it clear that “[everything] I do only for your good,” so really, defying him is naturally going to be bad for her, because what he wants is what’s best for her.

(By the way, this is a popular abuser’s tactic. If you find yourself thinking of someone in your life with overwhelming gratitude and affection--feeling like they’re the only one who knows how to keep you safe, that they would do anything to protect you, that they would never hurt you, never, never, as you carefully don’t think about what happened the other day because they “didn’t mean it” or “it wasn’t that bad”? that’s on purpose. They’re doing that to you on purpose. And you deserve to get out.)

Step 3: establish a sense of equality and camaraderie.

[ID: screenshot of John Mulaney from “The Comeback Kid,” with captions reading, “Hmm, we’re not so different, you and I. End ID]

You’ve already made it clear that you hold complete power over their safety, able to both provide it and take it away. Now you need to make them want you to have that power. You need them to trust you. “See, I place them myself in your room. I make myself the wreath that you are to wear.” Van Helsing doesn’t need to be the one to do these things, it’s implied; but he does them, because he wants her to be safe, he wants to make sure of it by personally overseeing it. He’s the source of her safety, and he takes that responsibility seriously. It matters to him, too. (Really, it might matter to him more than it matters to her. Or so it’s implied; after all, if she’s questioning him she must be willing to put herself and others at risk, as she’s made to understand by Step 1 and the beginning of his speech).

Next, most importantly for a wannabe cultist, Van Helsing segues into Step 4: secrecy. “But hush! no telling to others that make so inquisitive questions.” Not only is it dangerous for Lucy herself to be inquisitive; she must not for a second indulge someone else’s curiosity.

[ID: a graphic that looks like it was drawn in MS Paint, showing two people with long hair and open mouths, both holding 80s-era telephones to their ears. Three arrows point from the person on the left to the person on the right. The person on the left has a speech bubble showing them in bed, with a smaller thought bubble coming from the in-bed version. Presumably, this is meant to convey a dream. The “dream” pictured in the thought bubble appears to be a photograph of a person with long black braids (similar hair to the speaker), wearing a tall, round orange hat that looks like it has the golden snitch on top of it. Above this graphic in large letters is a message reading: “Spiritual Experiences Must be Kept SECRET”. End ID]

And then finally, finally we get to the root of the matter, what this was all leading up to and what everything else is just window dressing to entice both Lucy and the reader to come in and accept what’s next: Step 5: obedience. “We must obey,” Van Helsing says, as if he’s a part of this we, even though he’s the only one throughout the novel providing information and giving orders. “Silence is a part of obedience, and obedience is to bring you strong and well into loving arms that wait for you.” We’re just reiterating all the previous points in reverse order, and establishing that above all, obedience is key to assuring safety, happiness, relationships with people she cares about.

[ID: a black-and-white image of a person stepping along a crosswalk. Above it, in large plain text, it reads: “Obedience. Doing the right thing.” This is not ominous in the least, I think. End ID]

Hush. Don’t ask questions. It’s alright. Don’t tell anyone. Just do what I say.

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

[perap]

Ngl hearing your Avery headcanons would be neat!

HEAVY BREATHING

ok perap. you are going to talk about avery. you can be normal when you talk about him. you can do this.

ok first thing i wanna say is that, much like half the pokemon fandom on this website, i too have absorbed him into my personality day one of the dlc. he literally hits all the marks on character traits/tropes that i love and im so happy he exists and i can(have) write(n) actual essays about him. this also means i project on him like a bitch bc i both want to be him (ok. maybe i want him to be like me, i mean, hes already got the family disappointment part down so.) and want to date him (also like half the fandom). btw fun fact as of the time of writing this i have officially thought about him for exactly 200 days in a row :)

welp. off to an absolutely terrible start on the whole being-normal-about-him thing huh

ok anyways actual stuff abt him now!!!1!!

a while back i mentioned he was was demiromantic but i want to specify that he is bi-demi and if there is ANY TIME anyone tries to complain abt me making him a special snowflake i will add another label. dont test me. hes also ace (acery) bc i have this thing thats like gaydar except its ace-dar.. ace-ar? idk but i have that for fictional characters and his ace frequencies id received from him were through the roof. totally not because im aspec and i like him or anything and also that ive typoed his name like 30 times already. also he is touch starved and doesnt know ANYTHING abt romance bc he is dumb :)

this is a good time to say that it comes as a surprise to literally no one that i unironically and unapologetically ship him w klara bc im like that and i have to ship the best friends. YES they become friends after they get arrested at the wendys. it takes a while tho and even longer for them to start dating bc hes demi and also i l o v e slow burns. like they really dont like each other during ioas storyline but reluctantly work together anyways bc they find a couple of kids more threatening than each other, apparently. and shenanigans ensue. THATS HONESTLY what originally drew me in to their characters and god bless honey and mustards souls for putting up w them both at the same time because. god they are stupid. disaster assholes. dgtuusgudftzu. like i said this before but they legit have a jessie and james dynamic except way more petty and rude to each other and WHEN i saw OTHER PEOPLE on THE TUMBLRWEBZ say that EXACT THING about them i lost my fucking mind bc!!! THATS THEM!!! AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE OTHER PEOPLE W THE SAME HCS AS ME AND I JUST!!! GO CRAZY GO STUPID YA KNOW!!!!

but ya in my au they get married in like 2030 because i said. spoilers.

ok but abt the shenanigans thing, they are both just inherently prone to slapstick (his powers especially open up so many opportunities for stupid gags) and i just REALLY love how expressive they are and i like imagining how animated and eccentric avery can be... like thats just my love for the style of old cartoons creeping its way into my interests sydjsysjs

ok other random things: he is a germaphobe and doesnt want to touch anything ever, i mean hes got those stupid gloves on which would help but it doesnt even matter bc he just... uses his powers for everything so its like. he has negative muscle mass in his arms before he gets jacked ofc AFGSHSHVJ bc he doesnt ever have to do anything with them.

also hes afraid of bugs bc psychic and that makes him an easy target for klara to fuck w him :}

OHHH... did u kno? (i posted it before so maybe) avery secretly has another power... each of his tails is filled with immense love, and when touched, if he likes you, that love and happiness will be transferred to you... its true...! but ONLY if he likes you. if he doesnt, well he wont curse you or anything like that cuz he cant (he wishes he could tho) but he will forcibly move you 10 feet away from his person... vertically.

hmm.. more about him being a fox... he wasnt even supposed to stay as a ninetales but foxes are my favorite animal so i got attached to the idea bc its rly indulgent... and also? i think it works so much better for his lore that he isnt a psychic type but the stuff abt his family lineage and how his powers work with the igi lore surrounding the furries is a WHOLE other can of worms and im not about to make this post a biography and lore essay lmao.

speaking of his family stuff... the big change to his arc in igi is that he doesnt become a gym leader... and this is entirely due to the fact i may have read way too much into his character and came to my own conclusions about where his arc was headed. i was honestly satisfied with the fact it was left open-ended at the conclusion of ioas storyline cuz that meant i could interpret his future however i wanted and still have some merit but... they really did just vaporize all my character development id made for him with the release of the second dlc. i mean, i expected it, but i was still let down. guess its no ones fault but my own for feeling betrayed! and i am the ONLY person on this planet who was adamantly against him being a gym leader and i will probably be called a fake fan and a loser for not supporting his "dream" but... once again with the worms and not wanting to go into it all here.

THAT WASNT THE FIRST TIME ID ~ALLEGEDLY~ MISINTERPRETED HIS CHARACTER THO... i... i made the man TOO SMART... i gave him TOO MANY iq points and i fucking lost it when i realized... fucking.. ok... i had figured, after getting fired or whatever from being a gym trainer, he had maybe somewhat tried to not levitate people, or at least acknowledge that he probably shouldnt have been doing that... not because hes concerned for other peoples personal space or safety... oh no, it was because he just didnt wanna get kicked out from the dojo like he did from the gym. and then the fucking. twilight wings episode came out where he was just casually harassing that poor man and i was like GOD i really gave him TOO MANY BRAINCELLS HUH. FUCK he is an IDIOT he is SO STUPID...

ok. ya know what? ill say my reasons for why i accidentally made him Think Thoughts for once. i will end this off with an angsty thing. as a treat. because i like angst and i like hurting him :o) ya see, after hed lost his position as gym trainer, his family (parents? grandparents?? whoever) were Not happy with him... they basically ~banished~ (OoOoh scary) him until he could prove he was capable of holding the title of gym leader. and i thought maybe that would smack at least enough sense into him to not repeat the same mistake that got him into this mess in the first place... though i cant make any promises considering hes a jerk and his attitude gets in the way of all logic and reasoning. so yes there is a lot more edgie stuff where that came from cuz its igi and thats how it is :o)

SO YEAH SHDBSHDH!!!1!11!! THANKS FOR ENABLING ME I LOVE THIS MAN A L O T. THERE WERE OFC OTHER THINGS I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO ADD BUT IT WAS GETTING TOO LONG.

IF U MANAGED TO MAKE IT THIS FAR HERE IS A WIP ANIMATION OF HIM AS THE DANCING BRAZILIAN DOG MEME I HOPE TO COMPLETE IN THE NEAR FUTURE

[mssjynx]

birdsong

terrormoo fic .  3561 words .  no warnings . 

a/n; this is actually the evolution of a drabble that @crimsonbluemoon. it became a monster and i thought id post it as its own fic. theres something about it that irks me so i think the wording is a bit awkward and clumsy, but the story itself is cute and i hope its still enjoyable. 

here��is the request ask. hope you enjoy!

-

Birds fluttered from tree to tree. Their songs were mesmerizing as they twittered at one another, dancing through the air beneath the setting sun.

“Look, Brock. You’ve been on four dates now, this is your fifth. He’s going to kiss you sooner or later and it’s going to be way better than you think. You’re just stressing, okay?” Evan’s voice seemed to belong in the pretty afternoon. He was calm and reassuring, just as sweet as the whistling overhead. Brock took a deep breath and winced at how tense his shoulders were.

“What if I’m terrible, Evan? What if I blow it!?” 

“You won’t. I’ve seen the way Brian looks at you and I know that one bad kiss won’t deter him.” 

Brock blushed, watching a baby bird plunge from its nest. Her wings flapped uselessly for a moment before she caught himself and soared up through the treetops.

Brock smiled. “I don’t know about that,” he said, rubbing his face self-consciously.

“Well,” Evan chuckled, “I do.” Brock could hear his grin. “I gotta run. Call me after your date!” 

Brock shook his head with a gentle laugh. “Bye, Evan.”

“Go get him, tiger!” 

The end of the phone call cut off Evan’s snickering and Brock smiled to himself as he lowered the device. Evan was like a brother to him, having known him since they were kids. He was more than grateful that they’d remained so close throughout their adolescence, helping one another through school, getting jobs, dating boys and girls and finding themselves. It was Brock who realised he was gay first, finding no interest in the girl Evan had been urging him to ask out on a date. It seemed his revelation sparked the same in Evan as his friend came out as bisexual only half a year later, making googly eyes at a boy in his literature class. 

That boy - the most disastrous person that Evan could have picked in the whole school to fall head over heels for - soon became Evan’s boyfriend and they’d stayed together throughout the rest of high school; inseparable. 

They made quite a pair and Brock came to love Jonathan just as much as he adored Evan. 

Although, he had to say; they made absolutely horrific wingmen. Brock appreciated their attempts as they planted him on blind dates and introduced him to friends, but there was a point in which people needed to learn to quit. Neither Evan nor Jon understood that. 

Brock hadn’t been on a successful date, let alone gone for a second date, in over a year and it was starting to get really sad. The more he tried, the less luck he had. 

Until Brian (no thanks to Evan or Jon). 

Brock met Brian while working at the library. He was shelving books and the cute Irishman had interrupted him to ask about an author. Coincidentally, Brock was a big lover of the book series this man was pursuing and, after finding Brian all five books, he found himself sat across the table from the man ranting about a certain character. 

It wasn’t until Brian had laughed quietly at something Brock had said had he realised what he was doing. He was embarrassed to acknowledge that he’d been rambling to a stranger for the better part of thirty minutes about a book that said stranger probably just wanted to sit down and read by himself. 

Except that when Brock stumbled to his feet to excuse himself and apologise, Brian had caught his wrist with a smile. “I promise I’ll let ye get back to work but could I get your number first?” 

Brock’s pink cheeks had turned dark red and he’d fallen helplessly back into the seat as Brian insisted that he scribble down his phone number on the inside of the Irishman’s wrist. When he’d escaped the handsome man to return to his job shelving books, he couldn’t get the smile off his face and more times than he could count, he felt his gaze drifting across the room to where Brian sat reading, a soft frown of concentration on his face as he went. 

He gave Brock a smile and a wave when he finally left, flashing the scribble on his wrist as a silent promise; it wouldn’t be the last time the librarian heard from the man. 

And it wasn’t. They went out to watch a movie later that week. Then it was dinner. Then brunch and a trip to the dog shelter Brian worked at. Brian took him out with his friends, meeting the rowdy bunch with Brian’s arm around his waist. Then Brock returned the favour and dragged Brian out to the amusement park with his two goofy best friends. 

And today, they were meeting up at the park.. 

Really, it was perfect. Except Brock’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking and he kept on pulling threads out of the hem of his t-shirt. He was more nervous than he had been for even their first date because it was the fifth, and he and Brian hadn’t kissed, and he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, and he was terrified because he’d never kissed anyone before, and... 

With a slow, steady inhale, he returned his eyes to the family of birds flitting through the trees. The mother was perched on the branch beside her nest, three little babies wobbling on the edge while a fourth hovered in the air, chirping happily as it fluttered its wings. 

A small smile shaped Brock’s lips and he melted back into the aged bench. The wood was softened from time, weathered and faded. It was perfect, really; placed between the trees a few metres off the path. He could sit there undisturbed by joggers or parents walking with their children. 

“What’s got ye smiling for?” Brian’s voice made him jump in surprise, so accustomed to the silence broken only by birdsong. He turned to glance at the Irishman and simply laying eyes on his handsome date had a smile turning at his lips. Brock shuffled over as he approached and Brian took a seat beside him.

Brock returned his gaze to the nest, not wanting to miss what seemed to be the first flights of these little creatures. He nodded up into the trees. “Baby birds,” he answered and felt Brian lean into him as he followed his gaze. 

“Aw,” was the soft sound Brian gave, falling into silence as they watched the mama bird give one of the babies a nudge with her beak. A persistent chirp and then the baby was tumbling from the nest, thrusting its wings out and gliding between the trees. Brock beamed with pride for the little creature, glancing up at Brian to see the man sharing the same smile while watching the birds.

Just as quickly as Brock had looked up at Brian, he looked away, feeling his cheeks warm as butterflies fluttered through his chest. Brian was a very attractive person, not only in his face and hair and body, but in the way he smiled and the soft look in his eyes. The understanding tone of his voice when Brock talked; like he actually cared about what the older man had to say. Sitting beside him, Brock was hit with the heaviness of his feelings for the man as he played with his shirt. 

The whole dating thing was new for him. High school relationships that lasted a few weeks were his only experience and they rarely had much then a few hugs and some time holding hands. But he’d never had much more than a few odd crushes, and he’d definitely never felt anything like he did at twenty, sitting on a bench beside an Irishman he’d met in the library. 

He smiled at his hands. It was a nice feeling. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Brock looked up when Brian nudged one shoulder into his, meeting those bright eyes and losing himself in them. “Are you okay?” 

Brock turned his smile up to his date, his eyes crinkling with the joy of the moment. The warm fluttering of butterfly wings inside his heart made him lean into Brian’s shoulder. “I’m great,” he said, watching the concern in Brian’s eyes melt away. 

The Irishman smiled in return, sliding an arm around Brock’s shoulders and pulling him snug against him in a short hug. “Then the world is as it should be,” he said, leaning down a touch to bump his forehead lightly against Brock’s. The affectionate gesture had the older man’s cheeks flushing pink but Brock couldn’t have lost his smile if he tried, laughing gently and looking down at his lap. “This place is really nice,” Brian said softly, his arm relaxed where it laid over Brock’s shoulders. 

“I told you you’d like it,” Brock answered, eyes drawn up to the birdsong. The two men watched as the family of young birds danced through the air, the young ones chasing one another between the branches and their mother watching from her nest. “Want to go get coffee from the cafe across the way and bring it back here?” he asked and Brian wasted no time pushing up onto his feet. As he retrieved his arm, he caught Brock’s fingers with his own. There was no shyness as he intertwined his digits between Brock’s, tugging the older man onto his feet and beaming at him beneath the scattered sunlight. 

“Walkin’ around in public holding your hand? Why would I wanna do anything else?” Brian teased and Brock couldn’t hide his rosy cheeks. 

Brock turned his face to the sun as soon as they were out from beneath the foliage of the trees. The warmth was pleasant, buzzing his nerves and amplifying his energy. He couldn’t help a happy sigh as he walked alongside Brian, letting their hands swing gently between them. 

It took him a few moments of smiling to himself before he noticed Brian watching him with something unreadable in his eyes. A little smile played at the Irishman’s lips and Brock blinked. “Is there something on my face?” he asked, reaching a hand up to brush at his own cheek. 

Brian was quick to shake his head. “No, no. I was just thinkin’,” he explained, but before Brock could push to ask what the man was thinking about, he continued: “Did you get your design project finished?”

Pride swelled in Brock’s chest along with a soft warmth at the fact that Brian had remembered his ramblings from their phone call a few nights prior . “Yep!” he said, “I finished it last night. All I have to do now is make sure everything is in order and I’ll be able to submit it tonight.” 

“That’s so great!” The joy in Brian’s words was authentic as he beamed at Brock. He was genuinely happy for Brock’s accomplishment and the simple fact that Brian cared had the number of butterflies fluttering around in his chest doubled. “Do you have to do anything else for this unit?” he asked, passing a polite smile to the mother of two children they passed on the path. At Brock’s happy shake of the head, Brian grinned. 

They reached the road, crossing at the lights as they chattered.

“Good for me t’en!” Brian remarked and at Brock’s confused frown, he tugged Brock closer by his hand and bumped their shoulders. “If ye don’t have to spend your time on yer project, you can spend more of it wit’ me.” His broad smile showed he wasn’t shy about wanting to spend his time with the librarian and that alone made Brock’s heart skip a beat. 

He hurried through the front door of the cafe when Brian held it open, ignoring the small chuckle that followed his fluster. “You’re too much,” Brock said, but there was no strength in his words as Brian’s arm curled around his back. 

“I know.” Brock could hardly focus on the two words as Brian leaned in and pressed his lips to Brock’s temple. The librarian froze but Brian didn’t seem to notice as he stepped up to the counter. 

“Could I get a tall caramel chocolate frappe and a tall mint chocolate frappe?” Brian smiled at the cashier, reaching a hand back to catching Brock’s fingers before he tugged his date up to stand beside him. Brock still felt numb with shock, the rational part of mind scolding him for being so affected by a kiss to his forehead. “Want anything else, Brocky?” 

Brian’s ask meant that Brock had to somehow form words as he schooled his pink cheeks and pressed his lips together. “N- No, I’m good,” he managed, cursing his voice for breaking between words. “I’m gonna go get some air.” 

With a gentle squeeze of his fingers, Brian let him go with a nod, not seeming to notice Brock’s internal panic. As soon as he was out of sight, Brock scampered back out onto the street and released the breath he’d been holding. 

He yanked out his phone and fumbled his way to his messaging app, finding Evan and shooting him a panicked: “I’m a disaster I can’t do this.”

Evan’s response was quick, a smiley followed by a: “Believe in yourself!” 

Brock only managed to type back: “How the heck do i dO THAT!?” before the doorbell was chiming and Brian was walking to his side with two drinks in hand.

“Ready to go?” Brock nodded, feeling as if he was glowing as Brian’s arm returned around his lower back. Brian’s smile was contagious and Brock was weak to think of anything else around the man he was falling in love with. There was something so exciting about dating again; about being charmed and flirted with, being touched in little ways that meant more than they should. 

He loved everything about it. 

They walked in pleasant silence as they made their way back to their little place beneath the trees. In their absence, the family of birds had taken over their bench, the young ones hopping around their mother and chasing after one another. 

Without need for discussion, the two men took a seat on the grass, sipping their cool drinks and watching the birds dance. “This is a perfect little spot isn’t it?” Brian said, words wafting through the clearing with the gentle breeze around them. 

Brock smiled into his drink. “It is,” he said gently, letting one hand fall to the grass behind him, so he could sit without slouching. His brain seemed to malfunction when he felt warm fingers settle atop his. He turned to Brian, cheeks warm at the casual touch, and felt his stomach somersault at the grin on Brian’s lips. 

Those lips. There was a slight shine on their surface from the lip balm Brock knew Brian liked to wear. Personal hygiene was important for the Irishman, having his hair combed, face washed and teeth blinding white any time he left the house. Having chapped lips was simply something he couldn’t stand, as he’d explained to Brock before, and it was nothing special to see the layer of sheen that shone beneath the streams of sunlight. 

Except that Brock couldn’t look away and the distance between them felt far too small. 

All of a sudden, his heart was racing and his lungs felt tight. Brian let his drink rest on the grass and Brock’s breath caught in his throat as that smile twisted with something gentle, something affectionate and reassuring. But the first brush of those fingertips against Brock’s jaw was all it took for the moment to shatter. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone before!” The words burst from Brock’s mouth without restraint. Relief and terror filled his head simultaneously and he jerked back away from Brian in humiliation. He ripped his hand out from beneath Brian’s to smack over his mouth as he gawked at the shock in those pretty blue eyes. “Oh God, I’m sorry!” he croaked, words crumbling before they even left his lips. He dropped his head, covering his eyes and curling over as if trying to hide. 

He could not have said anything more humiliating if he tried. 

“I didn’t just say that,” he mumbled into his hand, letting his drink rest against his leg so he could use his other hand to hide more of his face from Brian. 

“Brock?” His voice carried his surprise and Brock groaned. 

“That’s so embarrassing, you didn’t need to know that. I’m so sorry,” the older man rambled.  

“Brock.” 

“God, you probably weren’t even going to kiss me and- and I just made that really awkward, and now you probably don’t want to kiss me- if you!- if you even did want to in the first place, that is! Which I don’t know… and you… probably didn’t…” 

“Brock, look at me.” A hand on his wrist made him jolt but he didn’t shy away from the touch. It was warm, not controlling, and it was Brian. “Brocky?” 

With a deep breath, Brock parted his fingers, keeping his head tucked low as he peered up at Brian, who… was smiling? Fond, was the only way to describe the look in his eyes as he tugged lightly at Brock’s wrist. Brock allowed his hand to be pulled away from his face, biting his lip to keep himself from blurting out something even more embarrassing. 

“I did want to kiss ye,” Brian said, voice melting into the pleasant setting around them. “An’ I still do. I don’ give a shite who ye have or haven’ kissed. I give a shite about whet’er I get to kiss ye.” 

Brock’s face went from pink to red in seconds and he opened his mouth several times before words manage to tumble out. “I just- I’m probably gonna be bad,” he mumbled, turning away at the admission. 

One shoulder lifted in a careless shrug and that honest smile never faltered for a second. “Then I’ll teach ya,” Brian said, brushing the pad of his thumb across Brock’s warm cheekbone. 

And before Brock could help it, he stammered out an uncertain: “N- now?” 

Seeing Brian with rosy cheeks was a rare occasion that Brock was always surprised to see. The Irishman laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his neck, but his gaze didn’t turn away from Brock for long. 

“If you want to,” Brian said and Brock flushed at how he felt himself sway forward.  

He wanted to have the courage to speak; to answer with words and tell Brian that he did want to be kissed, that he did want Brian to teach him and that he wanted to keep on going on dates and kissing on those dates. But in that moment as Brian’s hand cooled his hot cheek, all he could do was nod. 

The few seconds that followed felt both too long and too short as Brian’s smile widened, eyes crinkling. His gaze fell to Brock’s lips and Brock didn’t know if he’d be able to breathe for much longer under the man’s attention. 

Not that he needed to worry about that, as Brian swayed a few inches forward, eyes trained on Brock’s mouth. 

“Just relax, Brocky,” Brian murmured, and Brock couldn’t resist the command if he tried, shoulders falling and lips parting with a shaky breath. He let the hand on his cheek guide him forward, holding his breath in fear and anticipation. 

Then lips were pressing against his. Brock’s nerves melted. 

The kiss was simpler than he thought. Lips pressed neatly against Brian’s; there was nothing complicated going on. No tongue down his throat, or teeth clashing, or attempts at eating one anothers face. It was simple and sweet, and the strawberry-flavour of the lip balm tickled at his nose. 

His heart wasn’t exploding and there weren’t fireworks going off in the background, but a pleasant tingle ran down his spine and Brock felt like he was floating as he bundled his fingers in Brian’s shirt. It wasn’t the cliche first kiss in the rain that Brock had seen in all the rom-com movies Craig made him watch. 

But it was perfect.

And when they finally broke apart, it wasn’t because of shock and awe, or hypnotising lust, but from laughter that Brock couldn’t contain. His smile was wide enough to make his cheeks ache but the swell of his heart made it all worth it as he dropped his head with his giggles. Brian’s smile could be felt against his forehead when the Irishman pressed a kiss there, caressing his cheek gently as Brock tried to stop his laughter. 

When he finally managed to lift his head, he met Brian’s bright eyes and couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and pressing his smile to his date’s, another sweet kiss tickling his chest. 

This time, it was Brian’s words that broke the kiss. “Be my boyfriend?” tumbled from his lips, splitting the two of them and making Brock’s jaw drop. They stayed frozen, inches apart as Brian grinned and Brock gawked. 

“Yes,” Brock breathed when his voice began to work again. “Yes, yes, I’d love to.” 

And when Brian pulled him back in for another chaste kiss, nervous butterflies no longer danced around in his chest. He smiled, and held his boyfriend close, and listened to the pretty birdsong surrounding them. 

[turtle-steverogers]

Not Guilty- 2

murder mystery’s back! im having too much fun with this story guys

Link to chap 1 in case you need it

warnings: albert being a human disaster, abuse of the word ‘milk’

ship: ralbert, platonic spalbert

word count: 1680

editing: lmaoooo no

Chap 2

When Albert gets to the precinct the next morning, he’s wary to find a wrapped parcel on his desk that looks suspiciously like a sandwich.  He pokes at it, frowning when he sees a singular smiley face drawn on the underside in black sharpie.

 “Hey, uh, Spot?” He calls, looking up when he hears his partner’s chair roll out from his desk and subsequently poke his head around the low wooden wall that separates their cubicles.

“Yes, honeycakes?” Spot’s expression is the face of innocence and Albert’s stomach churns.

“Did you-” He stumbles, gesturing to the presumed sandwich, “Is this for me?”

“It’s on your desk, isn’t it?” Spot smiles, rolling back into his cubicle.

Albert sighs, taking off his messenger bag and jacket and sitting heavily in his desk chair.  He cautiously unwraps the white paper to find a loaded meatball sub sitting in the middle of a napkin.  There’s a sticky note placed delicately on the fluffy white bread and Albert plucks it up, squinting at the words:

Sorry you didn’t finish your sandwich xoxo Spottie

He laughs probably too loud and sticks the sticky note on his desktop, right next to the note from Jack that reads: ‘I’m sorry for stealing your pants, I had brains on mine’ after Jack had taken his extra pair of slacks from his locker when his got spoiled at a crime scene.

He takes a bite of the sandwich, pleased to find that he can still stomach his favorite Gianno’s special after yesterday’s events.  As he chews, careful not to get any tomato sauce on his shirt, he plucks a sticky note from his own pad and scrawls out: Thanks, Pop Spotcket.  Love u, dear xoxo and tosses it over to Spot.

A moment later, Spot snorts indignantly, “‘Pop Spotcket’? Really? Does anyone actually use those anymore?  The only person I know who has one is my niece and she’s eleven.”

Albert rolls his chair so he’s in Spot’s cubicle, sandwich still in hand, “I have one, asshole.  They’re useful.  Anyway, thanks for the sandwich.  How’s it looking at Gianno’s?”

Spot sighs wearily, placing a stack of papers down and turning from his computer to look at Albert, “Eh.  They’re closed today.  I stopped by this morning to pick up some evidence left at the crime scene and one of the waiters asked if I wanted anything and I remembered that you didn’t get to finish your lunch yesterday so…”

“Thanks, man,” Albert says, mouth full.  Spot wrinkles his nose and tells him not to speak with food in his mouth.  Albert rolls his eyes, “Anyway, evidence?  What’s new?”

“Nothing really,” Spot says, “Just Wiesel’s receipt from his last meal.  Wasn’t really much on it, but it gave us a sure timestamp that lines up with our original record, so at least that’s set.”

“Good,” Albert shoves the last bit of sandwich into his mouth, licking his fingers.

“Yeah.  Saw our boy there, though.”

Albert raises his eyebrows, “Higgins?”

“Mhm.”

“How’s he?”

Spot shrugs, “Didn’t talk to him.  Kid looked like shit.  Well, more shitty than yesterday if that’s somehow possible.  Kept sending cute little glares my way, fucking ray of sunshine, that one.”

“Christ,” Albert grimaces, “I’m convinced he’s a player in this debacle somehow.  I mean, he seemed genuinely surprised when he found out the vic was Wiesel, but too many strings lead to connections on his end.”

“Yeah,” Spot agrees, “I dunno, I say we dig a little into Wiesel’s other relations as well.  I feel like there’s a gap here somewhere.”

“Toxicology came back,” Albert says after a pause.

Spot looks at him, eyebrows raised, “And?”

“Sarin poison in the blood.  Stab wounds were post-mortem.  Someone wanted this shit to look messier than it is.”

“Interesting.  I wonder who’d go through the trouble of poisoning, then following up with a physical attack.  ‘Specially in a public place.  S’kinda risky.”

“That’s what I was thinking, but whoever it was, clearly knew what they were doing.”

“Clearly…”

XXX

Albert never understood why there was such a wide variety of milks in the world.  And why, in this moment, he can’t find any simple fucking 2%.  

He scans over the selection again, bypassing the almond and oat milks and skimming over the fritzy lactose free shit.  There’s strawberry milk and chocolate milk on display and even horrifyingly enough, mint milk, but no fucking 2%.  It’s not even like this fucking bodega is big enough to warrant having so many milks. 

He just wants some damn normal person milk!

“Excuse me, detective.” 

Albert doesn’t startle.  He doesn’t.  He’s a trained law enforcement officer and detective.  People like him don’t fucking startle.  But, he is on high, professional alert when he turns around to see Antonio Fucking Higgins standing behind him, eyebrows raised in what’s probably amusement and hands shoved in his pockets.

Albert makes a strangled noise, eyes working on their own accord as they trail down Higgins’ body.  He’s sweaty, looking like he just came from some sort of workout, and a pair of tight adidas running pants hug his legs in all the right places.  He’s in a tank top today, somehow doing his arms more justice than the grey shirt he’d been wearing yesterday.  A hat sits backwards on his head, doing little to tame the curls that are trying to sneak out of the stupid hole where the strap meets the fabric.  He looks hot and it’s unfair and Albert’s never been ashamed of his sexuality, but right now he’s wishing that he could reign in his gay ass a little bit because aside from the fact that Higgins is a bit of a prick, he’s also a suspect and that’s, like, number one in the Book of Nope for cops of any kind.

Higgins is still looking at him, but now there’s a small crease of concern between his eyebrows, “You alright, man?” He asks, “You look kinda like you’re having a heart attack.  Do you have any chest pain?  Your left arm feel numb at all?”

Albert shakes himself, morphing his expression into something he hopes looks less like Gay Panic, “Yeah, sorry, I-” He splutters a bit, then shuts his mouth with a click.  

Higgins scoffs, “I just need milk, man, you mind?”

Albert starts, hastily stepping out from where he was definitely blocking the milk selection and watching as Race grabs a carton of-- fucking 2%.  How did he find it so fast?  How did Albert not see it?  He’s supposed to be the one trained to look for details others don’t see!

Trying not to flush, Albert reaches out and grabs a carton as well and Higgins looks at him again, laughing, “You were standing here for a long time, dude, I thought you were gonna murder the milk for a second.”

“Couldn’t find the 2%.” Albert mumbles, blushing harder when Higgins laughs louder.

“Real good reconnaissance there, detective.”

When Higgins is laughing, his face changes into something a whole lot more pleasant.  Not that it was ever unpleasant (the dude’s got a jawline of a god), but some of the hardness in his eyes and shadows on his face go away and for just a second, he looks like the 25 year old he’s supposed to be.  It’s nice, Albert thinks, ignoring the way alarm bells are going off in his head.

“Shut up, Higgins, I’m tired.  Some of us have to read about murders all day, so excuse me if my milk finding skills aren’t the most refined.”

Higgins’ face softens and the smile in his eyes turns into something else that Albert doesn’t want to dissect, “Race.”

“What?”

“Higgins is my dad, not me.  And I don’t like the name Antonio very much, so if we’re gonna be talking more, be it over murder or milk, call me Race.”

“Race?”

Higgins--Race--winks, “That’s a story for level five amici.”

“Oh, okay.”

They pause for a moment and even though Albert’s not drunk, his inhibitions seem to flutter away from him against his will as he blurts out, “Drinks sometime? Would- uh- would you wanna get drinks sometime?”

And fuck-fuck- SHIT- what are you doing Dasilva? What the fuck?

Race considers him for a moment, “Not that I wouldn’t hit that,” he nods to Albert’s body and Albert flushes.  Damnit with the flushing!  He’s 26, not some flouncy high schooler, “But I don’t think that’s a good idea, detective.”

Albert nods, “No, yeah, honestly I don’t know why I asked- uh-”

“Relax, don’t have an aneurysm, it’s okay.  I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”

“No no, you’re right.  Absolutely.”

There’s another pause, then Race smiles apologetically, “I gotta go get the rest of my groceries.  Take care.”

Albert cringes internally at how fucking painfully awkward this exchange has been, “You too,” he says, watching Race retreat to the wine aisle.  He takes another moment to gather himself, then goes to the checkout line.

XXX

Albert turns up the volume on his TV, pleased with the quiet solitude of his apartment for the night.  He doesn’t love living alone, but it’s been a long couple days and he’s been looking forward to a night to himself since he’d woken up that morning.  Just him, some thai, and the Animal Planet playing reruns of ‘It’s Me or the Dog’ all night.  Fucking self care.

He’s just yelling at some dog owner on the TV for feeding his pug 24 eggs a day and watching as Victoria Stilwell chews out the greasy fucker when his phone rings on the coffee table in front of him. 

Groaning, Albert mutes the show and chugs down a few sips of beer, before picking up the phone and answering with an annoyed, “Someone better be dying.”

There’s silence on the other end and Albert pulls the phone away from his ear to check the caller ID.  It’s Spot.  Shit, someone might actually be dying.”

“Spot?  Everything okay?”

Spot sounds sheepish when he says, “Well no one’s dying, technically…”

“But…”

“There was another murder.”

“Shit.”

-

Race went straight home after the bodega, right? RIGHT!??!? stay tuned ;)

thanks saph for ‘pop spotcket’

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

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[angelic-holland]

Palm Trees // th x fem!reader

Summary: You were starring alongside Scarlett Johansson in the new Black Widow movie, she’s a younger spy that Nat saves from the Red Room, trains her to be better. You meet Tom prior to the premiere of The Red Room and he agrees to be your date. 

Part of my Drive North series. Based on the song Palm Trees by the SWMRs, listen to it while reading. As you will hear in the song, it discusses the corruption of Hollywood and younger more naive people being taken advantage of in the industry. 

Warnings: brief sexual harassment (not Tom), angst

Word Count: 6.1K

Sarah! Sarah! Look over here! Sarah! Smile!” You hear people shout and you wave and grin as your security walks you inside Jimmy Kimmel’s studio. Your stage name, Sarah Winters was being called left and right.

You know that they were really waiting for Scarlett who would be arriving soon, but they knew a little about your role in the movie, they’ve seen the behind the scenes photos and they’ve seen the trailer, so they’ve got some idea of who you are.

You made your way inside, getting put in your own dressing room which was literally a dream, something you’ve been thinking about and hoping would happen since you were a little girl.

When Scarlett arrived she hugged you tight. When Jimmy asked you questions about the movie, you talked excitedly and animatedly, almost spoiling a huge plot point when Scarlett put her hand over your mouth.

“Looks like Holland’s gonna get a run for his money on the spoilers,” she laughs and you’re blushing, you totally knew what you could and couldn’t say but this was the first big, TV interview you’d ever done. You were just incredibly excited.

Later that night you posted some photos on your Instagram, the first one being a shot of Scarlett’s hand over your mouth with your eyes wide.

You laughed as you captioned it, “let’s play how to keep Y/N from spoiling the entire Black Widow movie”.

You posted it and as you got ready for bed, exhausted from the long day of press. Before falling asleep you saw some comments, most of them were funny, a lot were tagging Tom saying that you were coming for his title.  

You saw a notification that Tom had commented on your post as well, probably because everyone kept tagging him.

tomholland2013: as spoiler king, you can be spoiler queen, no stealing my title

You rolled your eyes, blushing a little. You ignored the onslaught of people commenting, lots of those sideways glancing eye emojis, a few keyboard smashes. You’ve never even met the guy. A few moments later you noticed he had followed you. You wondered if he would be at the Black Widow premiere, then maybe you could meet him. Since before you were cast as the young woman who Natasha takes under her wing, you’ve always been a fan of Marvel movies, the smallest crush on the actor who played Spiderman. He was attractive, seemed nice enough, your age; what more could you ask for?

You sent a quick text to Scarlett, asking if other MCU actors would be at the premiere.

Scarlett: why? Hoping a certain someone might show up?

You: psshhh no I don’t know what you mean

Scarlett: Tom might be there, let me ask

You: no omg he’ll wanna know why you’re asking

Scarlett: no he won’t give me a second

You groan, putting your phone on the edge of the bedside table and trying to sleep.

You wake up the next morning by your alarm. You’ve got a flight to London to do one last round of press before the premiere in a week.

You shower quickly and toss on a comfortable sweatshirt and gym shorts before shoving your PJs into your suitcase, making sure you had everything from your hotel room. You make it to the car that was waiting for you on time, miraculously, before checking your phone.

You noticed a text from an unknown number and frowned, opening it as you got in the backseat.

“Airport?” The driver asks.

“Yes please, thank you!”

Unknown number: Hey so I heard you need a date to the Black Widow premiere.

You: sorry who is this?

You check your texts to Scarlett.

Scarlett: a certain someone may or may not have asked if you’re going with anyone to the premiere, told him you weren’t, think you might be interested in having him on your arm for the night

You: wait, like, Tom Holland , that’s who we’re talking about? No way you didn’t convince him out of pity

You’re heart is sort of racing as you wait for a response from Scarlett.

She sends back a screenshot of her conversation with Tom, her asking if he’s going to the premiere. Then him asking if you have a date. And Scarlett telling him you didn’t, but he better act fast and then she sent your phone number.

You quickly add the unknown number in your phone.

You: I mean, you don’t even know me like at all, what would make you want to be my date?

You’re shocked by how quickly he answers.

Tom: well I could get to know you.

You: you know everyone and their mother is freaking out about that insta comment of yours?

Tom: their mothers too? Quite nosy aren’t they?

Tom: So, when can I meet you? See if you’re truly the spoiler queen

You:  I ALMOST say one thing and suddenly I’m the spoiler queen? At least I didn’t actually spoil any big plot points from the movie

Tom: fine fine you haven’t earned that title yet

Tom: you and Scarlett will be in London tomorrow right?

You: you stalking me?

Tom: no, just asked Scarlett

“Miss? We’re at the airport.”

You look up and sure enough your driver has pulled up to the airport. Someone opens the door, greeting themselves as your security, taking your suitcase from the trunk and offering to hold your backpack.

“I’m fine thank you,” you say as he walks you into the airport. Thankfully there aren’t any paparazzi or fans of Scarlett here, who was taking a later flight.

You check in and your suitcase is sent off before you go through security, Todd, the security person following you. He let you know he’d be with you until your flight and then when you landed in London there would be another person waiting for you.

This was all new to you, having security with you at airports, when you went to press events, the rare occasion of being recognized when you’re out and about.

You checked your phone again while waiting to board. It was a short wait, another thing you’ve never experienced, one was plane flights in general, the other was getting to be in first class. You felt so fancy you lost your mind the first time you flew with the cast to a filming location in Europe.

You waited for your seat location to be called, seeing another text from Tom.

Tom: I’ll be in London for the next few days, call me when you land

You gulp, quickly responding before boarding.

You: will do

The entire plane ride you attempt to sleep, try not to think of Tom fucking Holland asking you to call him. It doesn’t work. You sit there, watch movie after movie, trying to keep your mind off the boy. You gave up and put on Spiderman: Homecoming. You’ve seen it before so you let yourself get a little lost in the story, falling asleep about halfway through. You’re woken up by the rumble of the plane touching down.

***

You make it to your hotel with limited problems, you at first couldn’t find the security person waiting for you then realized he was holding a sign with your stage last name and not your real last name.

“Hi Miss Winters, I’ll be working with you while you’re in London, names Rick, shall we head to the hotel?”

“That’d be great, thank you,” you say, noting he’s already got your suitcase.

You see another text from Tom and blush as you sit in the car.

Tom: don’t wanna sound like a weirdo tho so ur totally not obligated to go out with me if you don’t want to

You: who said anything about going out?

Tom: I just meant, like to get to know each other before you whisk me away on the red carpet

You: I’ll see if I can sneak away from the hotel tonight, don’t have press until tomorrow

Tom: I could come to you

You: huh

Tom: we could hang in your hotel room, order room service, besides if we are out and about together the instagram comments would be the least of our problems

You: problems?

You frown, problems? You didn’t want to stir up trouble, you didn’t want to get death threats from teenagers over Tom either, considering you don’t even know the type of person he is, considering you’re just going to hang out.

Tom: well I’m just not really in the mood to be swarmed on the street by paps and fans and stuff

Tom: unless you wanna go out then we can, it’s whatever

You: no, no id much rather that not happen, hasn’t really happened to me yet and I’d prefer it to stay that way

Tom: after this you’ll be so famous you won’t know what to do with yourself

You laugh to yourself, Randy glancing at you.

You: highly doubt I’ll be loved nearly as much as you are

Tom: nonsense

You: I’ll be at The Savoy hotel, you know it?

Tom: I can use google

You: idk I heard you were pretty bad with technology

Tom: you’re right, google and texting are the only two things I feel 100% sure I can do

“Miss Winters? We’re at the hotel. Your schedule for the next few days should be in your email. You have the rest of the day off though.”

You nod, time zones were messing with your head, “what time is it right now?”

“10am.”

“Thank you,” you say as you both get out of the car. You check into your room and thank Rick for your suitcase.

You toss your backpack and suitcase down before flopping onto the bed, checking your phone.

Tom: are you at the hotel now?

You: yea

Tom: ok

You checked out the room service food, realizing since you slept on your flight you were starving. You decide to order pizza even though it’s early, you called and they said they could get some delivered from a local shop. You check your phone and see that Tom texted you again.

Tom: on my way, what’s your room #

You: 413

Oh, he was already on his way, shit. You practically jump out of bed and open your suitcase. You know it shouldn’t matter what you wear. But you change out of your oversized sweatshirt into a plain white T-shirt, keeping your gym shorts on. You thank god that your job and press required you to shave. Because although you didn’t think anything would happen, you wanted to feel confident if it did.

You changed quickly and brushed your teeth, jumping back into bed. You grabbed your book, East of Eden, your favorite book, it’s had plenty of wear and tear since you’ve read it so many times but you couldn’t get rid of it or get yourself a new copy.

You picked up where you left off, the story of young Adam Trask and his brother Charles, arguably your favorite and the best part of the book, seeing the dynamic between the two of them, then seeing how Adam grows for the rest of the book.

The door rang as you finished the chapter. You set the book upside down and grabbed your wallet, you checked through the peephole to confirm it was your pizza, as if on cue your stomach was rumbling. You thanked the person and tipped them, the pizza charged to your room.

You settled back into your bed, about to open the pizza when your doorbell rang again. You got up and looked through the peephole.

Tom was standing outside your room, hands in the pockets of sweatpants he was wearing, paired with what looked like an oversized hoodie. Okay, maybe you weren’t underdressed previously. You opened the door, leaning against the frame.

“Hi spoiler king,” you grin.

“Nice to finally meet you spoiler queen.”

“Finally?”

“Yeah, been wanting to meet you since you started filming Black Widow.”

“Didn’t know you knew I existed until a few days ago.”

“Well, surprise,” he laughs, shrugging, “you gonna let me in or should we continue this conversation here?”

“Oh my god sorry I’m such an idiot, come on in,” you say, walking backwards into the room. You feel the heel of your foot hit the back of your suitcase and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Tom rushes forward and catches you, arm around your waist and pulling you back up.

“How in the world are you playing this super spy when you trip over a suitcase?”

You chuckle, blushing as he helps you steady yourself, nudging your suitcase to the side as he closes the door.

“I play a super spy in training thank you very much,” you say as his hand leaves your waist and you quietly miss the feeling of his hand there.

“Well, guess you’re excused then.”

“Do you, want some pizza?” You ask, sitting on the edge of your bed and opening the box.

“Little early for pizza,” he observes.

“Haven’t eaten, in, oh god I don’t even remember, since the night before I got on the plane to come here from LA?” You say, stomach rumbling.

“Then I think you should dig right into that pizza,” Tom says, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

“Good plan,” you say, ignoring how awkward you feel and taking a bite of a slice. He grabs your book and reads the title.

“East of Eden, never read it before.”

“I mean I would act all offended because it’s my favorite book but I know that like not a lot of people who have read it. You should though, if you find the time.”

“Yeah this looks long and I’m way too dyslexic to read that without giving up halfway through.”

“Oh shit sorry I had no idea.”

“All good, kinda a running joke with my fans and people.”

“That you’re dyslexic?”

“Yeah,” he shrugs, thumb running through the pages.

You finish your pizza, watching his face as he reads the description on the back of the book.

“Stole it from 10th grade English class when I first read it,” you say before picking up another slice.

“Solid,” he laughs, looking at the list of last names written on the front cover along with the year, “Don’t see your name here Sarah.”

“That’s cause I didn’t have a stage name till I auditioned for Black Widow, name’s Y/N, Y/L/N,” you say, pointing to the last name put in the book.

“Oh, well nice to meet you Y/N, do you prefer that over Sarah?”

“Honestly, yeah.”

“Well, Y/N it is.”

You’re silent, you eating your pizza, Tom flipping through your book, laugh at some of the notes you have written in it.

“Cool if I have a piece?” he asks, setting your book down.

“All yours,” you say, gesturing to the pizza box sitting between you.

“So Y/N, how did you enjoy working on the movie? It was your first movie right? Know you beat out some names for the role.”

“Yeah, guess so, don’t know why.”

“Because you were best for the role, obviously.”

“Don’t know why they’d choose a nobody over people like Chloe Grace Moretz,” you shrugged.

“Because you, they saw potential in you, they also love to cast new faces, make newer actors famous,” he says.

Your mind starts to race with reasons why they might’ve cast you and you start to doubt your ability as an actress, because you’ve done theatre, been the lead in shows in your town and region but never movies or TV shows.

“Hey you know, I think you’re quite talented from the clips we’ve seen in trailers.”

“Uh, thanks,” you say, hand rubbing your neck, why are you so fucking awkward?

“So what kinda dress will you be wearing?”

“Huh?”

“To the premiere, so we can match.”

“Oh yeah, yeah lemme send you a picture of it,” you say. You were wearing a pretty dark red dress with black lace adorning the bodice.

“Sweet I’ll see what I can do about getting a matching tie and stuff.”

“Cool, you know it’s nice of you to uh, be my date,” you say, fiddling with your hands.

“Yeah, you know, wanted to see if you’d give me a run of my money.”

“With what?”

“Spoiling stuff.”

“Yeah,” you laugh, “don’t need to worry about that after the movie comes ou- FUCK.”

That definitely wasn’t something he should’ve heard.

You watch as he pieces what you just said together, “oh my god, hey even if that happens, well I think you’ve outdone me.”

“Listen at least I didn’t say that in front of a live audience or something.”

“What am I? A dead audience?”

“No, you’re just one person.”

“Ah that’s right, I don’t count.”

“Nope,” you say, tucking your legs underneath you.

You and Tom hang out and talk about filming, about the movie industry, about your favorite things, it felt like he learned everything about you in the time that you talked.

You stopped yourself a few times, apologizing for rambling.

“It’s fine, like to listen to you talk.”

At some point, you two had set the pizza box on the ground and were lying with your feet swinging off the edge of the bed.

“So, what about you? You excited for what’s to come for Spiderman?”

“Yeah, totally, I mean I want to branch out and do more movies, doing the voice stuff for Onward, the Pixar film; was really cool.”

“Have you done any auditions recently?”

“Some yeah, should hear about them soon.”

“That’s awesome. I honestly don’t know what I’m gonna do after this,” you groan, still unsure why you’re telling Tom any of this.

“Well did you enjoy your time on set? Did you enjoy acting in a film? Enjoy the people you worked with?”

“For the most part yeah,” you say, looking away.

“For the most part? Alright who do you hate? Which actor?”

“No, the actors are all great, I love them. Just, nah it’s stupid,” you sigh, because honestly you had no idea if what happened was weird, if it was out of the ordinary or if that’s just how it was.

“Nothing’s stupid, hey, I might be able to give you a tip to help deal with it.”

“Just, one of the ADs, Jack , he uh, he’d always hug me, like if I did a good job on a scene, he’d just like hug me really tight and uh, like sniff my hair, like press his face right into my hair and like not even ask me if he could hug me which I don’t know, I never stopped him from hugging me I just never hugged back but that’s stupid it’s a stupid thing to have a problem with.”

It’s quiet for a moment and you start to overthink and doubt yourself, doubt why you told him this story. Did Jack make you feel uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely but that’s just how it was, how you figured the industry worked.

“Did he do this in front of everyone?”

“Nah, just on my way back to my trailer or my hotel room or whatever.”

“Does Scarlett know?”

You sit up quickly, looking at him, “no, no she doesn’t. Nobody does it’s stupid I don’t know why I told you.”

“It’s not stupid Y/N, you know, if you want to talk to someone, you should. I can be that person if you want. But if you want you should tell someone higher up, they might be able to do something about it.”

“I don’t, it’s not worth it,” you sigh, laying back down.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“Talking about this.”

“Don’t be.”

“Yeah?”

“Course, it’s just, I've seen a lot of people, young new people who don’t really have any idea of how this industry works, see them getting taken advantage of, whether it’s by asshole directors who don’t know how to teach young people, treat them like, I don’t know, like they’ve got some power over you.”

“Oh, well thanks I guess.”

There’s a very awkward tension now and you have literally no idea how to move past it.

“So now that you know all about me, what’s there to know about you?”

“Well, got three brothers, Harry and Sam are twins, and Paddy is a little younger than me. Got a dog, Tessa, she’s amazing, truly my favorite being on the planet.”

“God I wish I could have a dog, mom’s allergic.”

“You should meet Tessa sometime, she’s a sweetheart. Mum’s a photographer, dad does a bunch of stuff, comedy, writer, blogs, stuff like that.”

“I’d love that.”

You feel his hand brush against yours, meeting between your bodies.

“Oh, sorry,” he says as he feels your hand stiffen under his.

“No, it's just, why?”

“Why what?” He says as your hand holds his hand tightly.

“Why’d you do this?”

“How many times have I told ya Y/N.”

“Just, dunno why you’d care.”

“Can’t help it, I guess, you’re funny, at least from the interviews of you I’ve seen, and you’ve made me laugh bunch today.”

“Yeah counterbalance all the deep shit I told you.”

He laughs, thumb rubbing the skin of your hand, “see? Anyways, I should get going, supposed to have dinner with my brothers but I’ll see you later? Maybe we can hang out while you’re still in London, if you’re not busy being super famous and with press.”

“Yeah, we can always text too if I am. And I’ll see you at the premiere? You can always just not show up, never talk to me again if you don’t want to,” you say, watching as he gets up.

You follow him to the door and he turns to face you.

“Hmm, good offer but I don’t think I will.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah I think it’ll be much more fun to be your date than ditch you, plus I already know what’s gonna happen in the movie so we can sit and be not surprised together.”

“Sorry I spoiled it for ya,” you say, blushing.

“You’re fine, it was nice to meet you Y/N, I’ll see you later,” he says, you don’t even realize your hand is still in his until he lets go, leaving you alone in your hotel room.

“What is wrong with me?” You groan, jumping back into your bed.

****

You and Tom text throughout the week, a lot actually. Sometimes he’ll ask you random questions about your family, about your favorite place to eat back in your hometown.

You’re in a dressing room, just about to go for an interview when he texts you.

Tom: I love learning all this stuff about you, just wish I could hear you talk about it in person

You: why’s that?

Tom: because, when you’re really passionate about something you talk like really animatedly and it’s really fun to watch

You blush, having no idea how to respond you leave your phone there before making your way to the interview.

****

You’re on your way to the premiere, the flight from London just as long and exhausting as the last. You didn’t have much time when you got to LA to relax, you could put your suitcase in your hotel room and go straight to the premiere where you would spend the rest of your time getting ready. People were doing your hair, makeup, helping you into your dress, it was going to be a whole ordeal. For now, you had an hour to yourself in your dressing room, to relax, to breath, whatever you wanted. Tom let you know he’d be there in two or so hours, he didn’t have as much prep as you had. Basically just had to put on clothes and his hair would take less than half the time yours would.

You were nervous, your first premiere, first red carpet or whatever, your mom wouldn’t be able to make it, she was working, always working, but she sent you her love.

You were laying on the couch in your dressing room, scrolling through your twitter feed when you heard a knock on the door. Maybe it was Tom, you got your hopes up a little. Frowning at your leggings and baggy sweatshirt, you didn’t want him to see you until you were all dressed up.

You reluctantly got off the couch, opening the door.

“Oh hi,” you say, as you see Jack standing in front of you.

“Hi,” He smiles, “Can I come in?”

“What?”

“Just wanted to talk to you, congratulate you,” he says and you reluctantly step back from the door, letting him in. He closes the door behind him and you sit down on the couch, setting your phone on the dressing room table. What you didn’t see or hear was the click of the lock as he locked your door.

“You’re going to be a star Sarah, I can make you great,” he says, sitting next to you. His leg was right against yours and you shift away, body pressed up against the side of the sofa until his leg wasn’t touching yours. You didn’t mind that he called you by your stage name, you preferred it actually. That way everything he said wasn’t really directed to you, at least you could pretend it wasn’t.

“You? Why would you be the one to make you great?” You frown, that’s your job, audition, get your name out there.

“I know people, they’ll cast you, like I convinced them to.”

“Huh?” “Saw something special,” he says, and you freeze when his hand rests on your shoulder, “could’ve cast anyone, any big name, but we chose you.” His hand moves to glide up your neck and cup your cheek and your mind is screaming at you, MOVE, SLAP HIM, RUN but you’ve slipped into panic mode, which for you meant you were frozen.

“Wanna make you Hollywood’s next leading lady,” He says, face so close to yours you can smell his very gross breath, your heart is beating out of your chest.

You’re trying to think of something, anything.

You remember something Tom had told you back in the hotel a week ago.

****

“Just, if he’s weird again, don’t just go along with it, push him away, tell him he’s a fucking coward, he doesn’t get to use his position of power over you.”

“I don’t know if that would work.”

“Just try it, okay? Just, don’t let him hold anything over your head.”

****

His lips are pressing against yours and that’s when you use all your strength, breaking from your panic to push him off you, hard enough that he ends up on the other end of the sofa as you jump up.

“Get up! Get out, now.”

****

Tom wanted to surprise you, so he arrived earlier than he said he would, your wrapped present in one hand, he found out where your dressing room would be and made his way to it, frowning when it was locked.

He was about to knock when he heard you, screaming.

“Get the fuck out!”

“Sarah, don’t do this, you’re going to regret this.”

“No, I won’t, I’ll only regret letting you be a fucking creep for this long.”

You and the AD are in a screaming match.

He tries to doorknob again, wanting to break it up before other people heard.

“Come here,” Tom hears the AD say before you yelp, and there’s a clattering and “I’ll blacklist you, no director will work with you. Fucking ungrateful.”

“If you don’t get out now, I will scream at the top of my lungs and tell everyone what just happened.”

“Bitch.”

****

Jack approached you, “come here.” You backed up into the table as he grabbed your arm tightly, causing you to yelp before he presses his lips hard against yours. Your other hand picks up your phone and your knees connects with his crotch as he let’s go of you and stumbles back before slamming you against the mirror, making you cry out as a sharp pain radiates from your head.

“I’ll blacklist you, no director will work with you. Fucking ungrateful.”

“If you don’t get out now, I will scream at the top of my lungs and tell everyone what just happened.”

“Bitch,” he mutters before unlocking the door, swinging it open.

You whimper, sliding down to the ground and gently touching the back of your head, tears welling up in your eyes as he slams the door shut behind him.

That’s not how you expected this to go down. Your eyes widen when you see a little blood on your fingers.

You vaguely hear a knock on the door but you ignore it, arms wrapped around your knees. What a great way to start your first premiere. You’re laughing as tears stream down your face, something that your mom always said was a bad habit of yours.

***

Tom hears the door unlock and he steps to the side, slipping into the hallway next to your dressing room.

“Fucking bitch, who does she think she is?” Jack mutters as he walks past Tom, not even noticing him.

Tom knocks on the door, hearing you crying hurt him, he hated hearing anyone cry. He heard you laughing, it was a laugh verging on hysterical and decided to go in and check on you, just in case.

***

“Y/N.”

You look up through watery eyes and see Tom standing in your doorway, a red gift bag in his hand, eyes wide.

“Fuck,” you say, head dropping back down as you cry.

He quickly closes the door behind him and kneels down next to you.

“Y/N, I, I heard, I’m so fucking sorry, I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but he’s gone now, are you okay? Shit question of course you’re not okay.”

“I’m fine,” you mumble, trying your hardest to smile up at him.

“You don’t have to smile, Y/N.”

“What?”

“Don’t haveta smile for me, you can cry if you want.”

You sniffle, the tears slowly stopping.

“I’m fine,” you repeat, wincing as the pounding in your head brings you back to reality.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, eyes full of concern.

“Just, hit my head a little, it’s nothing,” you say, your hand instinctively reaching for the back of your head to check if it was still bleeding.

“What the fuck did he do to you?” He asks, seeing the blood on your fingers.

“Just shoved me, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, you’re bleeding, lemme get someone.”

“No, please Tom,” you say, voice barely above a whisper, pleading with him.

“Why don’t, why are you going to let this slide?”

“Because I can’t, he’s gonna, he’s gonna blacklist me, won’t get even a small cameo in a movie, he’s gonna ruin me.”

“Hey, no, he won’t, because you won’t let him. You stood up for yourself back there, I heard you. You won’t let him take away everything you’ve worked so hard for, and what you’ll continue to work hard for. Hey, let’s get some ice or something, clean up, see if you need to go to the hospital okay? Don’t want you passing out on me on your first premiere.”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Not my story to tell, if you want to, when it’s time you can. There’ll be no pressure from me though,” he says as he helps you stand up. Your legs wobble a little bit and you’re afraid you’re going to fall but his arm is a comforting presence on your waist, steadying you. There’s no malintent in his touch as he soothes you, sitting you down on the couch.

You feel safe as he lets go, crouching down to open the small fridge, grabbing some ice from the freezer section.

“Here, turn around,” he says, nonchalantly ripping off a lower section of his shirt to wrap the ice in.

“Wh-,” you start, turning as his fingers sort through your hair.

“Just looks like a scrape, here,” he says, gently pressing his shirt with ice onto the area, hand rubbing your shoulder as you wince.

“Thank you,” you mumble, glancing at the bag he abandoned on the floor, “What’s that? Clothes all fit in there?”

He chuckles, “no, Issa present, for you, for your first premiere.”

“What? My, why's that, you already gave me a present you’re here with me.”

“Yeah but you deserve an actual present, here, hold the ice in place,” he says, palm over the top of your hand, moving it up to rest against the makeshift ice pack.

He reaches down and grabs the bag, pulling what looks like a wrapped book out of it.

“Was gonna give it to you little later but now’s perfect. Go ahead, open it,” he says, putting it on your lap and replacing your hand with his own on the ice pack.

You gently open the wrapping paper and gasp.

“This is, Tom you didn’t-,”

“Do you like it?”

“Of course I do, I mean, this is, wow this is the best gift anyone could have ever gotten me.”

“Well you only have a first premiere once,” he says, searching your eyes.

“I don’t, I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Don’t haveta thank me darling, why don’t we get ready for tonight?”

“Will, do you think we’ll see Jack?”

“He’d be an idiot not to show up, but hey, maybe you won’t run into him.”

“I like the sound of that,” you say, wiping your eyes.

“What did the stylists say they were going to do with your hair?”

“Think it was just gonna be curled, nothing fancy.”

“Okay well when they get here we’ll tell them no curling that part of your head.”

“Well then I’ll just look stupid.”

“Nah, you’ve got plenty of hair to go around up here,” he laughs, fingers running through the hair resting on your shoulder.

***

“Sarah! Tom! Smile for us! Look at you two!”

Photographers are shouting at them from up and down the red carpet, as Tom and Sarah walk, his arm gently resting on her waist, hers around his shoulder.

“You look lovely,” he whispers into your ear as you continue to walk.

“Not as handsome as you.”

He’s been saying nice things, whispering them to you all night, found it was the best way to make you smile, especially after what happened with Jack. You never did see him on the red carpet that night and didn’t bother asking anyone where he might be either.

***

“Wow,” you say, collapsing on the bed of your hotel room next to Tom.

“Fun right?” He asks.

“I mean, I wasn’t expecting such reactions from the crowd.”

“Yeah? Movie premiere crowds are always the rowdiest. But hey, they cheered, they laughed, they cried, you made one hell of a movie.”

“Guess so, I’m proud of it,” you sigh, gently opening the first edition copy of East of Eden, “how did you even find this?”

“I’ve got connections,” he smiles, watching as your eyes scan the first page, so different from your tattered copy from 10th grade.

“My 10th grade English teacher would lose her mind if I told her I had this. Scared to read from it, just wanna put it in a glass case and stare at it.”

“Well, it’s all yours so you can do anything you want with it.”

“Can’t believe this is all happening.”

“What is?”

“Everything, been my dream since I was a kid, to be famous, and well, yeah,” you sigh, not quite finding the words you’re looking for.

“You know, it might be, like, don’t feel obligated to say yes but would you maybe wanna, I don’t know, go on a date? Not now obviously, I think I could fall asleep right here but I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”

“Yeah? I mean the entire world already thinks we’re dating so sure, I don’t think a public date would hurt or help our cause.”

“Great,” you yawn, turning on your side.

“I should go, so you can sleep,” he says, standing up.

“Stay,” you mumble against your pillow.

He doesn’t respond and your heart almost drops, assuming he’s going to leave. Instead, he crawls into the bed, his arm hesitantly resting on your waist, until you scoot so your back is flush against his chest.

“Goodnight,” you whisper, exhaling, for the first time in over a year and a half you truly felt safe and comfortable falling asleep.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

X marks the spot

Part 5

Mark POV

Midsummer

Warning: little bit of cussing and bullying behavior.

A/n: if you need the earlier chapters search #xmarksthespot2k19. This is the story of Mark after high school. Lots of other people from movie mentioned. Is he a good guy after all, or do old habits rear their ugly head?

I just fucked Brooke. I just fucked Brooke. Oh my fuck.

I looked down at Brooke’s peaceful face, and naked body, and could feel myself getting hard again. She’s so fucking hot. And I fucked her.

It’s not just sex tho. I’ve fucked tons of broads, but this felt different. I could lay here forever with only Brooke, and be so happy.

What the fuck am I going to do? How do I make her my girlfriend? Will she be my girlfriend? The thought of her with another guy makes me see red. I gotta make it just us.

Even when things were perfect with Lily, it was never about us; it was about everyone. The parties, the drama, going out, getting wasted, fighting and fucking, but never really about us.

At least not for me.

The only time I ever wanted to be stuck with just lily was when we were going to fuck around, but after that, we’d return to our friends. We never hung out as just the two of us. We never had conversations really, unless they were arguments.

I probably could of handled Lily better, but fuck her for real. Not only was she cheating on me, with some guy twice her age, she let him watch us fuck! Oh and let’s not forget that the guy was married AND she was friends with the family.

When Sarah sent me the text conversations between Lily and Nick, and pointed out the dates and times, I felt like I was gonna be sick. I mean she was with me most of them. All those phone calls from “her mom”, or multiple bathroom breaks were just her being a whore. I can’t believe I went down on her. I fucking hate that bitch.

I really like Brooke though. I don’t want her to know about all that bs. There’s enough bs with Sarah, I don’t want her finding shit about Lily. She already said she looked at Twitter.

I grabbed my phone and went on every account that video was posted and I deleted it. I even went through and deleted anything about it. Any comments, jokes, etc. were deleted. Just as I felt secure I’d gotten all of it, Brooke started to talk in her sleep.

“But I want berry waffles...” she mumbled. “You look like a turkey man.”

I can’t stand how fucking cute she is. I feel totally like a psycho right now, but I’m obsessed with everything about her. The way she laughs and smiles. Her long hair, long legs and cute feet. How she covers her mouth when she eats, and even how she acts when she’s drunk. And oh my fuck, the sounds she makes when I fuck her. I cannot think about that or I’m gonna have to wake her up.

Its rather funny that I’ve never really tried to keep a girl around. I usually try to get rid of them, but here I was freaking myself out over this one. I closed my eyes and finally let sleep take me, sure I’d wake up if she tried to get up. I feel so good with her in my arms. It’s been a long time since I could say, I’m happy. As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t stop smiling.

—————————————————-

When I woke up, it was dark, and I was alone. I leaped out of bed, threw shorts on, and went to find Brooke.

I couldn’t believe how panicked I was she had gotten away from me. I thought I would wake up when I felt her move but I must of been more tired than I thought.

I look in the bathroom, living room and kitchen but no Brooke. I feel a lump in my throat and wanna punch somebody in the face. I am not about to cry over some bitch.

But that’s just it, Brooke isn’t some bitch. I sank in my recliner and put my head in my hands. I had to get ahold of myself. I was being ridiculous.

I tried to calm myself before I walked back into my bedroom. Wow. The one time I wanted a girl to stay, she snuck out.

I missed her already. Who did she think she was? I checked my phone, and there were tons of messages from everybody under the sun. Everyone but Brooke.

Apparently there was a rager at Diamonds place. He and Bex split up, so he was trying to be straight again, which seemed pointless to me. Honestly, it made no difference to me who he fucked. I hit him up on FaceTime, and it was in full swing, so I decided to stop by to distract myself from obsessing over Brooke.

I threw on clothes and headed over to Diamonds house. There was a black Prius idling out front with no one in it, but when I walked around the front, there was an Uber sticker, so I just disregarded it and went inside.

It was packed with people, and there were several girls id gotten with before giving me the eye. Sorry ladies, not interested. My baby is probably at home taking a bath or telling her best girlfriend about me. I need to just feel confident in myself.

It’s not like she’s out partying which made me realize that I was. I will just have a beer and go home and call her. I said what’s up to a few people, and I made my way over to the bar. Then I stopped so abruptly, the kid behind me slammed into me.

”wow bro, my bad!” he exclaimed, eyes wide hoping I wasn't pissed.

”No worries player.” I said distractedly.

Brooke was standing there next to some girl I’d never seen, talking to some fucking douchebag. It took every bit of self-control I had, not to make a scene. I wanted to beat his ass, and grab her by her fucking hair and drag her out of there.

Who the fuck does she think she is? Fucks me and then sneaks out to a fucking party? I was so mad; I could barely see straight. Mad doesn’t even come close to what the fuck I’m feeling. She wants to play games? We shall see.

I spotted three girls to my right, that were pointing at me and giggling. They were not as hot as Brooke, but they'd work. I smiled, and they all laughed and whispered to one another as I walked over. Easy prey.

“Hey, I’m Mark,” I flirted, winking at them.

“We know who you are!” The short blonde one said. “I’m Tammy, and this is My cousin Kelly, and this is her exchange student Kimmy, from Japan. She wants to know how tall you are.”

“I’m 6’4.” I said standing up straight.

They all squeaked, and giggled, showering praise on me till their demeanor suddenly changed. I looked at where they were glaring and turned around to find Brooke.

“Hi, Mark. I thought you’d be too tired to come out. Who are your friends?” She asked all cutesy. I’m not gonna give in to her. She needs to be put in her fucking place. Fuck me and leave? No.

“Oh hey girls, this is one of my clients, Brooke. I just helped her with a home renovation to get her house sold. If any of you ladies need any help around the house or yard, gimme a call.” I said as flirty as I could manage and winked at them, as I breezed past Brooke, on the way to the bar. Brooke didnt follow me; she was still talking to the girls, who were now being 100 times nicer since they thought I had just blown her off. I kept track of her in the corner of my eye, and noticed she looked at me a lot. She wasn’t smooth at all.

I finished my beer, and decided to slip out and give Brooke a taste of her own medicine. As much as I wanted to guard her and hold her in my arms all night, I had to play it cool. I have never had a problem getting a girl, and I’m not starting now with the one I give a fuck about.

To be safe, I went and found the douchebag Brooke was talking to earlier. He was still standing with the same, strange girl.

“Hey bud, can I talk to you real quick?”

He looked nervously at the girl and then back to me before asking if there was a problem.

“Oh no! We’re buddies I thought, I just wanted to talk to ya about something, a lady shouldn’t hear.” I lied, winking at the girl who started blushing and looking at her feet. How does Brooke know these lame ass nerds?

“Ok, I’ll be right back, Jane. After you, my man.” He chirped.

I walked out in the garage and as soon as the door closed, I turned and grabbed the guy by his shirt, getting mere inches from his face.

“Wow, bro! What’s up I thought we were cool!” The guy said shakily, as he looked at all the exits and back to me.

“Well, that all depends on you Bro. How do you know Brooke?” I growled.

“She’s Janes friend, I could get you an introduction if you want. She’s not seeing anyone.”

I punched the wall next to the guys head, putting a hole in the drywall and shocking both of us with the sudden outburst of rage. This guy was fucking terrified, so I took it down a notch, loosened my grip and asked, “She said that?” I was trying to hide how much this revelation hurt me.

“She said she needs to drop some fuckboy that she’s getting too caught up with and needs a nice guy. I can tell her you’re nice.” He volunteered.

I released him and took a step back. So she thought I was a fucking fuckboy? But a fuckboy that she is getting caught up with... hmm. Shit, I could work with that.

“Brooke is mine, got it?”

He nodded his head overzealously. “I get it, bro, hands off.”

“I gotta leave, but I’m trusting you to make sure no dudes get too friendly with her. If you see anyone talking to her, pull them aside and let them know Mark is already in that, and I don’t fucking share. And don’t do anything stupid like tell the girls, cuz I’d like to like you, and not break your fucking face.”

“Got it! Loud and clear!” He said with his eyes wide, and sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Good. I’m leaving, but I always got eyes on so don’t fuck this up.” I patted him on the back a bit too hard and exited out the garage side door.

The Prius was still out front idling. In my younger days, I’d have jacked it and done stupid shit in it till the wheels fell off, but I was past that.

Suddenly, It occurred to me that one of the people with Brooke must be her Uber Driver. I checked to make sure no one was out front, and I walked over to the driver door took its keys. I double checked no one was paying attention and slipped the keys in my pocket, before jumping in my truck and driving off.

It only took 10 minutes for the text to come

Brooke: Wow thanks for saying goodbye asshole

Me: I didn’t think you cared

Brooke: what the fuck is that supposed to mean???

Me: well you didn’t say bye at my house, so I just thought that’s how you do things.

Brooke: I’m not going to do this with you Mark

Me: do what?

Me: hello?

Me: earth to Brooke

Me:...

Shit, I didn’t see this coming. Was she really going to ignore me? Like hell she was. I flipped my truck around and raced back to Diamonds, just in time to see Jane crying by her Prius. Brooke was comforting her and she looked so fucking hot. All my lousy mood disappeared, and now I just wanted to be her knight in shining armor.

I pulled up to them and rolled down my window.

“What’s going on guys?” I asked.

“Someone stole the keys to her car, and her spare set is all the way across town at her house, but no one is sober or willing to take her to get them.” Brooke steamed.

“Well, lucky for you, your knight in shining armor got his cigarettes and is back to drive you, ladies, wherever you need to go,” I smiled.

Brooke’s face lit up, and she led Jane in my truck bouncy and happy. They fucked with my radio, and squealed and giggled about a bunch of shit I didn’t care about, but I WAS happy she was with me and I got to be the hero. (Even though I caused the problem, and had the keys in my pocket.)

“Mark, I want to apologize to you,” Jane said out of nowhere.

“Why? you don’t live that far.”

“Actually I told Brooke to be cautious about you, because you’re a selfish womanizer, and every girl that gives you the time of day, gets her heart broken. Now maybe it’s all bad reputation, because I mean, you helped her with the house, saved her earlier today, and now you’re saving us!”

I looked at Brooke, and her eyes were wide as she turned eight shades of red. Was she embarrassed by me?

“Well I just have a bad rep, I’m not that cool. I just have made the error of trusting girls, that had their fun with me, and then told everyone about it, or even lie about it. At the end of the day though, I’m just chilling by myself.” I was really gonna lay it on thick with these two.

“I can see that now. Rumors are so unfair, and I wanna tell you to give him a chance now Brooke.” She said, taking both of Brooke’s hands in hers.

Brooke smiled at Jane. Jane was my new favorite person.

I pulled up to Janes’ and she hopped out and ran in, while we waited in the car.

“So you’re ashamed of me?” I couldn’t hold it in, I had to ask her.

She was fidgeting, and staring at her lap. I couldn’t see what was up with her face since her curtain of hair was blocking it. I waited for a response, but when nothing came, I unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her, pulling her onto my lap. She didn’t even try to fight me, just let me drag her over. She still wasn’t looking at me, so I tipped her chin up to meet her eyes.

“Hey,” I said.

She tried to look away, but I didn’t let her.

“If you need to take things slow and just wanna be my friend that’s ok. I am gonna be here for you, no matter what.”

“I like you too much Mark, and I’m not a fuck buddy type.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I knew Brooke was a good girl. I didn’t know what to say, so I just hugged her and kissed her hair. I didn’t think it was possible to love her more, but I felt so much for this girl right now, I thought I’d burst. She fucking liked me too.

“Thank you,” I said finally.

“For what dork?” She giggled.

“For taking me seriously. For giving me a chance to be your boyfriend.”

“ I think friendship is what we should focus on now, and maybe relationship someday.”

Although her words hurt, she was mine and if she wanted to call it friends, fine. We could label it whatever she wanted.

“Friends that maybe kiss sometimes?” I asked, gently kissing her lips and then pressing my forehead to hers.

“And other stuff,” she said as she rubbed against me. “Seems you’re kinda excited to see me.”

“Well ya, you’re on my lap. What do you expect?” I could feel myself blushing. She made me so nervous, it’s crazy. I’m not shy, but with her...

“Wanna come over to my place tonight?” She asked as she bit that damn bottom lip.

“Absolutely.”

Jane got back in the truck, “good job Brooke! I’m so happy you’re giving him a shot.”

Jane is my new best friend.

The girls sang along and had a blast on the way back to the car. I ran in and got them drinks at a convenience store, so I could throw away janes keys before Brooke finds them.

We dropped off Jane and headed to Brooke’s apartment, and I was so happy it was disgusting. In the back of my mind, there was this voice telling me I had to do whatever I had to, to keep her. She was gorgeous, and I couldn’t be the only one that noticed.

This was very confusing and stressful. I’d never fucking cared if I ever saw a girl again, so I didn’t put much thought into making them stick around. This was new for me, and to be honest, I wasn’t fucking enjoying it. Relationships, feelings, and girls are all just nightmares, but it was too late. I might even already love her, and there was no talking me out of it.

Not even when I was doing the talking.

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse Infested

Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing

Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.

Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.

I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.

Well....not very soon by the looks of it...

I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.

Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.

Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.

*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?

Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.

As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.

I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 

Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.

“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.

“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.

“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“

“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“

Oh crap, here we go.

“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!

“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.

“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.

“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“

“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.

“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.

So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?

“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.

Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.

“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.

Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“

“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.

I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.

“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“

Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”

“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.

Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.

But streaming

But sleeping properly

But having a normal life again

Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[knifenymph]

I’ve read a lot about people manifesting others through writing lists with qualities of a person they would like to meet (e.g, person who likes animals and has blue eyes, etc.) Do you think this is possible/have a story about manifestation that is similar to this? Thank you! xx

hi hello! i def thing this is possible, i have done this before! it is actually how i have one of the most important people in my life, right now! here is the story! this is going to be long, so im gonna put it under the cut! 💗 

so, 1. about a month and a half ago, i posted in my discord “i hope my next s/o is latino/hispanic......” jokingly because im panamanian n i was looking to learn more about similar culture stuff!!! 

2. i make music n it is suuuuper important to me!!! playing the guitar/ukulele is a big big passion of mine

3. the aesthetic “lovecore” is a big part of my life, as well! my sideblog @lullsoft​ is all for it n everything! its been a big part of my life for the past year and a half in helping me develop a healthy relationship with love

so already with that: 1- this boy is half ecuadorian 2- he makes music too and its a big part of his life as well! 3- he also follows that aesthetic!! so already, these are three things that we match up with, so so well

then....... on december 7th, even before saying that thing in my discord, i wrote this song. it was originally a poem that i adapted into a song as i played it on the guitar, and i remember just feeling so so so called to finish that song that night. by 3am i was almost done but i felt like i couldnt sleep until i had finished it and gotten it just right even though i was dozing off a bit through it !!!!! but i just....felt like i had to get it done

just a little while ago i realized that song served as a spell 💗when i was writing this song, i didnt have anyone in mind! but......! i'll break it down with the most important parts (this is the most important part of the story!)

close to the beginning of the song, i sing these lines: i see you, i feel you, i hear you. i know you in my dreams

about two days after meeting him, i started having dreams about him- multiple dreams a night, really. i have never been an obsessive person either, so this isnt normal for me! especially because id only been talking to him for a couple of days

then the next few lines are: a tender hand, coming to guide, coming to love- coming to know me and all of meunafraid of my quirks and my hurts and my laughtersurprised, pleasantly so, by the absolute fullness of me

i received a text from him just over a week ago saying: “i am just ever intrigued by you, i never wanna stop getting to know you, everything about you is just so endearing, i have never met someone that is as interesting to me as you or as hypnotizing! you just keep me wanting to talk to you forever all the time”

he has told me so many times that he really really loves hearing me laugh. i have a very loud laugh that is very ... unique LOL so its important to me that the people around me like .. dont make fun of me for it! because anyone that ridicules such a pure expression of joy is not someone i’d want to have in my life!

the next verse goes:you had an inkling of the love you were coming into–of the fire you were approachingof the heart you would experience

thrown by the tides, you were envelopedby a wholeness you never knew existed

so he has known of me for a little bit now, but was hesitant to approach me! and hes said that one of things that he loves the most is how sweet i am and how much interest i show in his interests! it was something that surprised him, really!!

another line from the song:a chosen one, seen as capable of knowing my fullnessor at least hoping so- i dont know

this is a really big part for me because i dont click well with everyone! i get along with the majority of people, but i dont get super close with most of them! and so for me to click with him so so well...... everything just falls into place with him, honestly...!

and then finally:i see potential, i see possibilities, i see futuresand in that, i saw you, i heard you, i hoped for you

......is that not what this whole song is? !!!!!! reading energies and being intuitive is not something foreign to me, so thats what i was referencing in the first half of that verse, but !!! crazy just how things work out, huh?

and so...yea! how divine? hes also said things like “you made me exist i think” which i think is super cute i love him so much..... we’ve talked abt this just the other day but yea! me manifesting loved ones without even knowing it 💗 

this is a little more than just a list of qualities, but yes that type of manifestation works! the more energy and more detail you put into it, the more fruitful your manifestation will be, i believe! but also...set it and forget it! and be patient 💗 the people who are meant to be along your path will align with you in divine timing! best of luck!!!! 💗 

[cerulean8looded]

25!!!!!!!!

okay that one i literally made bc i look like john, love just dance, and want to be loved but here we fuckin go

25. John being a just dance twitch streamer and all the boys being gay for it i mean youtubers au

so im thinking that all of them make WILDLY different content. lets start with the beta kids.

so john has a gaming channel, clearly, and he decides he wants to lose some weight in a fun way that also helps his channel, so he starts the just dance thing. other than that, he mostly plays things like minecraft, five nights at freddys, all your basic bitch stuff, along with a fair few horror games. he really likes minecraft and sims 4 though.

rose has a witchcraft channel. she practices witchcraft and makes videos about spells and sigils and crystals and all the other cool stuff that goes along with that. i dont know much about witchy stuff anymore, its been a while since i was into that stuff, so id have to do a bunch of research for her.

dave has two channels: irony channel and music channel. the ironic one is where he posts anything to do with sbahj, and just generally fucks about, does weird trends and stuff. he never shows his face on his music channel, never shares his name, and it’s all remixes, so no one hears his voice either.

jade has the most chaotic but pure channel. she does anything she feels like doing, from kids show reviews to “Look at this cool pumpkin i grew” to “heres my favourite gun”. she has no theme, and never plans to change this.

Trolls

aradia is similar to jade in chaotic energy, but she tends to stick to stuff like creepy antiques she finds, weird animal bones from the fields she just wanders about in and that kind of odd stuff. she also talks about dark conspiracy theories a bit.

tavros mostly focuses on animals; animal care, animal facts, how to spot animal illnesses, how to deal with hostile but injured animals in the wild, what to do if you see an animal you think might have rabies, all that kinda shit. theres always at least one animal in every video, whether its a ferret in his lap, a cat walking over him, a snake around his neck, a guinea pig on his shoulder, and so on.

sollux does a gaming and tech help channel. he plays any game that people claim is difficult and tends to beat them so fast people think he’s hacking. he slaves over every fnaf game to try to beat the custom night first. as for tech help, hes basically that guy who runs the channel on how to fix discontinued apple products.

i lost my fucking karkat paragraph, im furious. basic recap of what i lost: he does general content like dan howell and phil lester kinda, with a couple staple series, such as his rant series, where his followers give him a topic and he rants about it for about twenty minutes (after editing). he also does livestream versions which can sometimes last for several hours per rant.

nepeta does cosplay videos with whoever she can rope into helping her (usually terezi, vriska, equius, or feferi) plus a lot of fandom videos in general. she usually comes off really lighthearted in her videos, but she also makes a lot of important comments about fandom culture and shipping wars etc. on her second channel she does vlogs, which exposes her absolute gremlin side. these vlogs often feature things such as her climbing up a tree, getting stuck, and screaming until equius saves her.

kanaya does makeup and fashion advice videos, mostly with a vampire theme to them. occasionally she’ll do cosplay makeup too. her favourite videos to do are when her subscribers send in pictures of themselves and their closets, along with some general information on what they wont wear and all that, and she gives them advice on how to spruce up their look a little and declutter their clothes, etc. she likes feeling like shes making a difference to people.

terezi focuses on true crime mostly; cold cases, current cases, sometimes she runs through the process of solved cases. she prefers to do unsolved stuff, since it gives her the ability to talk about her own theories on it, and she does often get it right, but for particularly interesting cases she will do a video anyway. she also does a little bit on mental health and the reasons behind crimes and shit.

vriska is another kinda general youtuber. she does whatever the hell she wants, plus anything anyone says she cant do. she also lets some of nepetas fandom stuff leak into her content. no one really knows how she got so many subscribers. she also has the most merch out of all of them.

equius makes videos on whatever happens to be his current hyperfixation at that moment. hes the most inconsistent. one week hes picking apart the homosexual subtext in certain scenes of jaws, the next hes teaching you how to put together a microwave. he does a lot of lgbtq+ videos too; his most popular video is of him and nepeta and some others at pride and most peoples favourite part is nepeta racing around a small clearing with equius on her back while vriska cackles behind the camera

no one is really sure what gamzee actually does. his videos are all filmed on a phone camera and are never edited. he doesnt have an intro or an outro. sometimes it seems like he forgot to start filming until halfway through whatever he was talking about, but he never repeats the bits the camera missed. theres no theme, no clear goal, no one knows whats happening and theyre pretty sure hes high in every video. one time he posted a video that was over 48 hours of the phone just pointing at a wall, which appeared to be covered in blood just out of sight of the screen (as in you could see the edge of it but not the actual blood) and there appeared to be a hand sitting at the corner of the screen. everyone was fucking terrified for a while, but the next video posted to his account was karkat explaining that hed had a bit of a mental break and thrown a jar of jar at the wall (the “blood”) and that the hand was just a doll. hed taken out his phone to film a vent video, but promptly forgot about it, dropped it, and went to do something else. he finally remembered over two days later, posted it without thinking and called karkat. a few weeks later he started posting again like the whole thing never happened.

eridan’s content mostly focuses on harry potter and magic (which he definitely doesnt believe in because that would be ridiculous), but he makes a lot of environmental PSA videos about littering and pollution and stuff. in his fandom videos he comes across as just really excitable and doesnt seem like he cares about much else, but he really shows off his intelligence in PSA type videos. he also posts a lot of videos of him just talking about whatevers going on in his life, usually whenever he gets a new crush. his most popular video is the one he made right after seeing johns just dance streams for the first time, because he looked like he was about to cry or scream the whole time.

and feferi! her content mostly focuses on social and political issues. she talks out against “canceled”/purity culture a lot and tends to end up involved in discourse for it. shes that person in the middle of the argument whos literally only stating facts and saying that we shouldnt jump to unnecessary conclusions, but somehow ends up being accused of being jack the ripper or some shit for it. she isnt afraid to share her honest opinions and makes sure to remain as polite and level-headed as is humanly possible when responding to others.

i was gonna do the alpha kids and dancestors too and like share some plot and that kinda stuff but this is long as fuck, so we’re gonna stop here for now! feel free to request again for even more info dumping. also i just wanna say that i planned none of that gamzee stuff i had no idea what i was doing when i started that

[franeridart]

Your colors lately are even more beautiful!!! Your art is amazing!

AHHHH thank you!!! so much!!!!!! I have, admittedly, finally been putting more effort into them haha it’s good to know it’s noticeable! ;;

Anon said:My dude, I want to own Bakugou's shirt in that Kamino squad drawing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy you liked it!!!!! :D

Anon said:What do you think of Kaminari x Ibara or Toga x Twice?

I don’t really have strong feelings about either, honestly :O but the only person I really ship Ibara with is Tetsu, and I can’t say I’m much into villain-shipping in general

Anon said:Have you read Sweater Weather by crispykrimi?

Nope, I don’t really read tddk fics, sorry ^^’’

Anon said:Do you think kirishima goes to izuku and they talk about their relationships?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm honestly, while I realize that Kiri and Deku are on friendly terms, given canon I’d say if Kirishima needs to talk to anyone about stuff he’s gonna go to either Baku, Kami, Sero, Tokoyami or Mina, since those are the people we’ve seen him open up to, in canon! Same goes for Deku, if he gotta open up to someone it’s gonna be Iida, Todoroki or Uraraka :0 well, it’s not like it’s impossible for them to talk about it, but I can see it happen more in a possible future where they’ve grown closer than they are atm in canon! At least imho haha

Anon said:I just wanna say that I’ve been following you for a pretty long time (since the tattoo au was just starting I think) and you’re art just continues to improve and look amazing as time goes on. I’ve always loved it but these past couple days I saw some of ur recent stuff and was just blown away bc it looks so good. Thanks for drawing and sharing ur art w us, I love seeing it!! I hope u have a good day!!!

THAT SURE IS A LONG TIME!!! I’m so happy to hear you stuck around that long aaahhhhhh ;; and thank you so so so much for the compliment, oh my god!!

Anon said:have you ever considered kiribaku getting hit by someone w/ a body-swapping quirk?

I have! It’s a trope I find real funny - but I’ve also seen a whole lot of art/fics for that topic already, would people even seriously be interested in seeing more? It looks like the type of thing that’s gonna come out more or less always the same, which is why I never really bothered to draw out my ideas haha

Anon said:Your kids!au makes me wanna write so bad.

THAT’S GOOD!!! Inspiring people is the best thing I could ever ask for!!!! (...remember to credit back to the post if you use any of my ideas tho ;; pls)

Anon said:Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! I love love love looovee the kiribaku kids!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

THANK YOU!!!! I’m super happy you like themmm!!!!!

Anon said:Hey:) just wanted to leave you a note to let you know how much i adore the way you draw Tamaki. Of course I love your kiribakus and bnha art in general, like your comics, but not a lot of people draw Tamaki and I really love yours:)

Holy smokes thank you!!!! Jiki is actually incredibly comfortable to draw, I’m glad you like my take on him! I’ve got so many unfinished sketches of him.... I should really try to finish those...................

Anon said:so this ask is like,, basically a huge appreciation ask for your comics bc they're cute and funny and they always light up my day!! on a side note: are you franeridan on ao3 bc if so I'm dying thank you for bookmarking my fics

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am!!!! whatever fics they were if I bookmarked them they were for sure incredibly amazing and made my day better so thank you so much for using your time to write them!!!!!

Anon said:may i ask the heights of teenage mako and tai!!

Mako is just a little bit under 2m and Tai’s ~170cm! As things are then, Mako’s a lil bit taller than both Baku and Kiri while Tai is obviously shorter!

Anon said:i used your art for reference. is it ok if i post it crediting you and saying you drew the picture that i took reference from?

Sure, if it’s just for reference and credited I don’t mind! (but if you were using my stuff for pose references may I suggest you avoid doing that in the future cause my anatomy is absolutely terrible you’re just gonna end up making my same mistakes aaahhhhhhhhhhh ;; there’s lotsa more accurate refs around, believe me)

Anon said:please draw more shinsou he looks amazing in your style!!

Thank you! And sure, in the future why not!!

Anon said:Just wanted to let you know that I was scrolling through your bokuroo tag and 1) Aaaah I'm still so in love with how you draw kuroo and 2) I love how I can see the way your art style has improved over time and it's just so nice to see?? Bless your art so much and you're such a great person too I'm cry

SOB thank you so much oh my god, this really means the world to me???? ;; so many compliments holy smokes bless you

Anon said:Hi! I'm the anon that sent you the message about the A Day to Remember song for KiriBaku, and found another awesome song for them - Let Me Be by Escape the Fate. It's super cute and sappy for an alt/hardcore band and it fits Kiri more than Baku, imo, but could honestly come from either of their perspectives. ~SongAnon :)

AH GODS that’s sweet ;O; how come hardcore bands always go so soft on their ballads I cry - I feel it works perfectly from Baku’s pov too, tho!! Let him be Kiriiiiiii ;;; sweet

Anon said:I just wanted to say that I love your art and style as a whole, but I really really appreciate the way you draw Kirishimas eyebrows... like they look so simple but,,, they truly make my day 💕

Kirishima’s tiny eyebrows!!!! I’m glad you like them, they’re weirdly expressive and easy to draw honestly hahaha

Anon said:your art is shit //no no no nonno oo fdjsakfl;d I MEANT THE SHIT your art is the shit fjkdsa i'm so sorry i love you and your art this is why i can never compliment anyone ahhhhhhh //i'm crying omg i saw someone else send a separate ask to someone elase that was like your art is shit but it is the shit and i was like whoaaa how cool but noooooo jfsdakldsfa kms i'm sorry

This was a bit of a trainwreck ngl haha but it’s okay anon!!! It was an honest mistake, don’t worry too much about it!!! Thank you so so so much for liking my stuff

Anon said:Hi erm I believe that YouTuber "AnimeUproar" used your kinoko komori fanart without crediting you and I'm not sure whether you gave him permission. The title of the video is "EVERY QUIRK EXPLAINED! | Class 1-B (My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia All Quirks)" // Same anon as before and he also used your Setsuna art in the same video. The kinoko art had your watermark cut off while the other one didn't but they still have no credit anywhere and I'm not sure whether you have permission. Sorry if you did and I'm just being stupid lmao but it's the same YouTuber and the same video in case you want to message him

If it’s not credited you can be sure I didn’t give them the green light to use it, honestly - but, you know. Whatever. I’m tired. Let them use it. It’s a video so it’s not even like people can save it and reupload it anywhere else. sigh

Anon said:I am like 2000 years late but,, your bakubaby sketches saved my life wow they’re so cute

*cries forever* thank you !!!!!!!!!!!! ;;O;;

Anon said:All of ur art especially recently is just??? Blowing me away?? Oh my god?? I just your coloring and then that fantasy one holy fuck the DETAILS I feel like I can touch it it's so good I can tell you put a lot of time into it it shows it shows so much god it's so high quality I'M STILL !?!?! your art seems to get better all the time thank youuuuuu for blessing us w it it's so incredibly lovely ahhhhhhhhh

I’M SO HECKING HAPPY YOU LIKED THAT ONE cause it really took forever honestly - it was fun from start to end so it’s fine, but, you know, it’s cool to see it was worth it haha thank you so so much for the complimentsss!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much :') it makes me so happy whenever I get a notification from your blog

I still can’t believe people really have notifs on for this blog oh my g o d ;u; thank you

Anon said:I just wanted the share, that I came across your art in a trash, and scrolled down your blog looking for more, and I liked it so much that I decided to follow you... Only to find past self already did whoops haha. So I liked you enough to follow you twice!

THAT’S SO COOL!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! °O°

Anon said:I just went thru your whole art tag chronologically and omg you've come so far! Every time your art crosses my dash I smile and I'm happy every time I see it!

Have I? I have!! Sometimes I look at my really old art and I hate it and want to delete it but then I’m like, comparing it to the new stuff makes me feel good about it so it’s still there - that does mean sometimes people are gonna see the old stuff too, tho #rip I’m sorry you had to see that stuff, but thank you a lot for thinking I got better!!!!

Anon said:I love how Jirou's eyes look in your style. (How everything about her looks, too.) Damn, she's a stunner, isn't she?

*whispers* she is oh my g o d !!! I love Jirou. She’s just. So goodlooking. Gods. I’m glad you think she looks good in my style!!!

Anon said:ur momo and jirou are so beautiful!!! 💙 if i wasnt already as gay as it gets id have a major enlightenment rn ahhh

GOSH!!!! thank you so much!!!! :D

Anon said:have you considered... minamomo and/or kyooru

Never before Jirou and Tooru, actually, but I have thought about Mina and Momo and I’m still unsure about where that ship even came from. Like, not in the sense that I think it’s a bad ship, but in the sense that I really don’t understand it :0 why do you like Mina and Momo, anon? There’s so many people shipping it, I’m curious about where it came from! But every time I asked I got no answer #rip I wanna be interested in it, help me understand why it should be interesting!

Anon said:Have you ever considered Aoyama x Sero?? 10/10 recommend.

I haven’t! Mostly cause I generally hc Aoyama as ace, really - but that’s an interesting ship I might think about more :O

Anon said:I finally started reading BNHA again after dropping it in May and HOLY SHIT DID I MISS A LOT!! JUST THAT ARC WAS INSANE??

I know right??? I KNOW RIGHT????? I loved that arc from start to end, no lies anywhere, such a genuinely good arc!!! 

Anon said:Hey fran, I just wanted to say that I like your art very much and that I love to see how much you are improving as time goes on. You are doing great. ♥

So many people telling me that I’m improving oh my g o d it makes me so happy ;u; thank you so so much

Anon said:ahhhh i loved your aokaga drawings, they're the cutest and I hope you make more of them being cute together!!!!

Eek, sorry anon but I’m really not into making content for that ship anymore ;^; I’m glad you still like the old things, tho!!

Anon said:I really wanted to tell you that I love your art so much I can't even explain. It cures my anxiety and I'm not kidding. When I feel down and shitty, I just go through your blog and your fanarts make my day (my favorite ever is your bokuro). The way you put the emotions into characters gives me life, honestly. Thank you for your art

THIS MEANS!!! THE WORLD!!!! TO ME!!!!! Knowing that I can help you like that is such a good feeling anon, holy heck!! Thank you so much for liking my things and sending this ask!!!

Anon said:heyo tell us abt some kami angst hcs :)))) tenk youu

Anon............. love............... whatever in this blog made you think I might have angst headcanon about anything..................... I’m the most fluff person around............

Anon said:That idea you had about making hagakure's costume out of her hair or something like mirio's!!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE!! You're so smart! I LOVE IT

THANK YOU BUT IT WASN’T JUST MY IDEA!!! After Mirio explained his costume the idea was floating around on my dash a lot, it just made sense to a bunch of us!!

[bytedown]

==> Tell the truth

flippinoptimist hi i imight naut reply to big talky posts for a bit cause a friend showed up an im givin him weird confusion pie but im still here im just distracted unless you beep at me!

flippinoptimist wait i see the thing now!

bytedown

Oh! Alright, didnt mean ta be spotty, and you've not missed much, I got called away for a bit, an I'm not mobile

flippinoptimist i do that too sometides!  i get distracted easy but i try to remember to come back evventually hope it was for fun stuff

bytedown I try ta take fun where I can :)

flippinoptimist lol youre good at naut specifyin shit optimisms super great though, i think its important to findin all the secret cool endings when weird shit goes down

bytedown ..is it too terrible obvious I'm doin that?

flippinoptimist most people are kinda dumb so idk, but the clever ones that come from places where theres secret cops that blend into social groups and then arrest everybody w/ the wrong opinions are probably gonna notice or the ones from places where the wrong opinions get dudes killed in general youre p laid back an careful

bytedown LOL I aint a cop thats for damned sure

flippinoptimist lol sweet cause thats naut too popular a lotta places

bytedown Sounds like some real bad places, is that common?

flippinoptimist yeah p much i dont see it on dudes w/ green eyes often but life sure is sometimes most places have some p harsh lifestyles for whoevers on the bottom

bytedown Now that I'm real familiar with, though I'm thinkin my bottoms a bit different from th' one you're thinkin of

flippinoptimist

bytedown Gonna have ta quit the internet now, laughin too much

flippinoptimist B) i mean i bet shits different it always kinda is, but im curious what your deal is aint a lotta trolls that know much about magic, an the smart dudes that know how to naut spill their private shit all over are usually worth noticin you have no idea how many dudes home coordinates i get from offerin to send free pizzas no strings attached

bytedown Now thats a wee bit reckless of them

flippinoptimist right i mean i dont do anythin w/ it but i like collectin coords just to see if i can

bytedown ya realize the irony of sweet talkin me into givin up my secrets by complimentin my ability to keep them?

flippinoptimist its terrible! im cool w/ whatever im just curious B)

bytedown I can see you're curious, an thats a bit dangerous for me, I didn' break th' nanny restrictions on this thing ta be shut up so soon

flippinoptimist im naut a big fan of shuttin anybody up

bytedown ya could just be sayin that ta be honest

bytedown I don't much know anyone around here enough ta judge whos safe and who isnt

flippinoptimist you got a point there.  for what its worth, though its only a side gig, im an occasional space pirate, an i grew up scroungin shit and sayin w/e i felt like, and fuck what the system thought about it youll get more trust online from the ones smart enough to notice what youre doin, if you pick details that you are willin to share -- real or fake -- and stick to em or dont mind sayin that you dont know who to trust, that works too thatll probably get you a lotta concern an friendly ears to be honest

bytedown ...

flippinoptimist aight, ill stop bein pokey, but i like talkin in general what kinda stuff is low risk enough to chat about?

bytedown I'm just tryina think

flippinoptimist like, non-identifyin kk ill bug my friend whose visitin some

bytedown I don't even know, cause theres details that're gonna not fit, I'm already havin that trouble what I'm worryin about is you know the folks I dont want things gettin back to

flippinoptimist i got that feelin, yeah

bytedown I live on prosperity, I supposed thats safe enough ta tell ya and explains some stuff

flippinoptimist sorry for steppin all up in your shit, i didn mean to, i just notice things yeah it explains most a the bits that dont fit an the parts you aint used to.

bytedown if I'm gettin caught I oughta know about it, so I can fix shit

flippinoptimist is w/e's wrong w/ your bottom

somethin the dudes in charge could fix p easy?

bytedown you're weirdly fuckin charmin pretty sure they aint gonna care about my problems

flippinoptimist thanks, i like to think its my good side.  you seem neat too.

flippinoptimist ...yeah, if youre gettin caught, youll know about it before i say anythin.  im not promisin i wont yet, i dont know if you mean anybody harm, but like, youve been chattin in good faith so im gonna chat back in good faith have you heard about like, hemism yet? as a concept

bytedown I can fake that I know what that is real easy

flippinoptimist i mean, thats prob close enough for most shit, but like theres colors of trolls that, in most universes, get hatched slaves.  theres colors of trolls that, in most universes, get culled the second they peek outta the egg

bytedown Damn

flippinoptimist they hatched wrong, they get fucked.  an then theres colors a trolls that get the nice shiny pretty end of things. and theres dudes that rebel against the nice pretty shiny end of things and sometimes they win, and take over the universes they make and thats who sparks is.  he hatched into a not-people caste. and now his life is not like that anymore.

bytedown Dont tell him about me

flippinoptimist and like he spends a lotta his time an energy tryin to make things right for dudes in other universes... if you aint hurtin anybody i wont, but its kinda odd news to hear theres nasty shit goin down over there

bytedown fuckin here look

Thats me.

flippinoptimist oh dude your wings are kinda like mine

flippinoptimist yeah there sure is a lotta people bein pissy about fae in prosperity, i can see how youd be tweaked.  nice job photoshoppin your avatar

bytedown Some of the castle folk are kind enough, but he aint one of them.

flippinoptimist he gets p mad about stolen kids

bytedown A pixie has never stolen a child I'll guarantee you that.

flippinoptimist fuckin lol

flippinoptimist yeah thatd take some practice and effort an a clever series of hammocks an slings an shit theyre called slings when they aint like secured to a wall, right?

bytedown Slings are for huntin, I think

flippinoptimist theyre the same shape but you would probably want a different word for the throwin kind from the carryin kind when theres a baby in it

bytedown dependin on the type

flippinoptimist that is one a those cases where you do naut halfass the distinctions

bytedown lol

flippinoptimist as long as you aint like actively plannin stuff thatd hurt my dudes, i dont got a reason to tattle on anythin grats on gettin to the cross-dimensional internet on your own, that aint the easiest thing i think theyd be proud and interested to meet you if they knew you did, but, your call

bytedown He swats at us, did you know? and yells a fuckin lot

flippinoptimist

me in danger mode w wingles

bytedown blue eyes'll probably be mad about me stealin and retrofittin shit thats for proper people your wings're lovely, you're a very handsome lad

flippinoptimist i kinda want to tell him naut to do that shit since youre peopley enough to hack shit

bytedown I dont want him knowin about me

flippinoptimist yeah, aight. you mind me takin a coincidental interest in pixie shit that has nothin to do w/ anybody i may or may naut have met online? cause, he needs to be nice to dudes

bytedown Ya think he'll actually listen ta that?

flippinoptimist yeah

bytedown I caint stop ya from anything ya wanna do

flippinoptimist i mean like its super important to be good an im surprisingly attentive to that kinda deal, but when Grenades R Us starts tellin a dude to be more responsible w/ his shit a surprising number of dudes listen but like.  this is your shit and i dont got a right to meddle if you tell me to step off so if you tell me to go i dont say another word about it, and youre just a dude on the internet from a world a lot like prosperity

bytedown I don't wanna seem like I don't want some help, cause him not actin like a dick

bytedown 'd be nice

flippinoptimist not Not permission is p much all id need, i kind of go hunting when i find out someones been a douche

bytedown His partner likes us well enough, an set up a lil trade station. even if he doesn't seem ta believe we're literate.

flippinoptimist anybody like, talked to them about this? i mean i know that shits harder than it sounds when dudes are big and unpredictable

bytedown theres a wee bitty bit of a problem with talkin ta big folks An that has ta do with hearin range

flippinoptimist welp an illusions an shit dont cut it / arent an option im guessin

bytedown There was a real kind man who liked ta bake bread who was at the castle for a while, and he'd listen even though it was hard

bytedown Most've th' things I know how to do are for hidin, not for bein more noticable

flippinoptimist spooner?  human guy, hung out w sparks a lot?

bytedown yes!

flippinoptimist he was a guest a sparks, probably went back to his hive universe or somethin

bytedown It was a sad time for us all when he left

flippinoptimist lemme try an remember his blog

flippinoptimist hes been idle a while but you never know sometimes dudes come back after months a quiet http://cosmorobottips.tumblr.com/

bytedown ! Wonderful

flippinoptimist p much all the udes that have ever been through the castle have a blog or a trollian or both

bytedown Do Newsight and Suntouch?

flippinoptimist i know who would know and i dont mind askin quietly!

bytedown They're good people

flippinoptimist yeah.. i dont know em as much but i know one of newsights alternate selves a little bit he runs the teashop

bytedown They have milk and honey there (: We clean sometimes

bytedown You'd be surprised how many people will pay food for some cleaning

flippinoptimist theres a lusus in my hive that does the opposite of cleanin he likes rollin in dead things and fillin containers with sticks and leaves

bytedown That sounds like a bit of an adventure in not gettin sick from somethin

flippinoptimist i grew up outside, im good at naut gettin sick

bytedown Whats our definition of outside tday?

flippinoptimist i had a breather mask and a mud tent, an i swam down under trees on streams or into the sea shallows an burrowed into silt an slept there an came out when it was time to wake up most people do not think to look there

bytedown I lived in a tree hollow we cleared of deadwood, before I came to th' city

flippinoptimist an when you get good at it you can wiggle loose and un-mud w/o gettin much on you i lived in a big tree for a couple perigees...

bytedown how'd ya like th' tree?

flippinoptimist it was okay i think i like water or like, low-down skulky kinda lairs better

bytedown It'd gunk up my wings somethin fierce, I'm not a nixie

flippinoptimist they dont got a retracty deflatey mode?

flippinoptimist -- flippinoptimist has shared three contacts -- in order, those are newsight, suntouch, and twoblade the guy who is technically the city's diplomat right now

bytedown I'm afraid they're always out I'm grateful for th' contacts, you're a real chum

flippinoptimist that sounds inconvenient as shit and i mean, it seems like if im gonna give you kind of a scare an see straight through the cover story, its nice if i can like be cool too

bytedown terribly kind've ya

flippinoptimist B)!

flippinoptimist this one time, i decided to stop bein a dick, and its kinda stuck! im p happy about that, its been workin out for me

bytedown Seems ta be workin pretty well for ya!

flippinoptimist yeah!

bytedown Is there anythin you're needin ta know before you go pesterin someone out of the blue about beins he hates?

flippinoptimist has anyone Actually gotten hurt from him swattin, or just close calls?

bytedown We're fair fast, I don't think hes actually caught any of us

flippinoptimist good

bytedown if he'd actually hit one of us someone would've bit him

flippinoptimist yeah..an hed be kinda freaked out once he realised

bytedown Once he realized what?

flippinoptimist that hed been physically threatenin dudes w/o thinkin aboat it an did harm w/o realisin

bytedown Are you sure we're talkin about the same guy?

flippinoptimist cause like, "fuck off get outta my shit", sure, but "you have touched the coffeemaker pay in pain", naut so much yeah he gets yelly but hes nice once you get past that

bytedown The rules aren't always the same for us as proper people

flippinoptimist see that right there is the part that will make him tweak and decide to treat you exactly like regular people

bytedown What, because he found out I can type?

flippinoptimist hes a huge nerd, its a lot easier to notice smart people especially ones that are good at the same things that interest the nerd in question

bytedown :/ We're all fair smart, mate. Just too small for anyone ta notice

flippinoptimist yeah but as soon as someone does all bets are off and it is super fuckin easy to notice someone online where words are all there is

bytedown Th' elves know what we are an who and they could give less of a damn unless they need us ta do fine embroidery

flippinoptimist okay but like, also, fuck them

bytedown they like us for messengers too and th' like mostly

flippinoptimist have you heard a disruptive innovation

bytedown Cant say I have?

flippinoptimist like, search it real quick

flippinoptimist like its when a new thing gets made or learned, and it changes Everythin an fuckin Everybody has to move their shit around to adapt to the new way things are

bytedown sounds like an interestin concept

flippinoptimist usually its better tech -- "oh we have a cheap fast way to do this now, guess we'll stop payin hundreds of dudes to do it the slow way and theyll have to figure out new life plans" or science or shit -- "oops, everyone lives like twice as long as they dd before, we are gonna need a shitton new housing"

bytedown New types of magics do that sometimes

flippinoptimist ill bet!  sometimes like social movements or big political shit can do it too but.. thats basically what my deal is, or a bit part of where im tryin to aim what im about

bytedown You enjoy doin things that disrupt other things?

flippinoptimist yeah, kinda.  if it makes room for more possibilities than it tears down

flippinoptimist life is growth and change.  i got saddled with a destiny that makes me super good at bein smart and breakin shit.  sooo.... im gonna do it this way instead a the mean way.

bytedown They do say th' castle folk are gods

flippinoptimist theres a lotta arguin aboat that online sometides but yeah basically.  im kind of a half-formed young one that fucked up along the way, so i still gotta figure out a lot. i still dunno how the fuck prayer is supposed to work.  i will figure that one out though like i cant just Hear things.  i gotta figure out how to use magic to enable that

bytedown This's a lot ta think about, an I'm gettin real tired, its a wee bit late

flippinoptimist yeah i didnt mean to mess up your night or make it weird welcome to the outside internet

bytedown its a bit relievin not ta try ta pretend ta be a troll for a bit thank ya for th' welcome

flippinoptimist you might as well say youre a troll from one a the villages or somethin, they dont got good records from out there an prosperity is definitely v weird compared to other universes

bytedown I ah, cant lie

flippinoptimist oh, dang ... did you come from outside the city?

bytedown aye, I did

flippinoptimist somethin we could broadly describe as a rural home?

bytedown Ha, aye

bytedown I'll just say I'm from outside th' city

flippinoptimist then you wont get caught quite so easy w/ all the troll culture junk

bytedown Rest well, friend, and it was pleasant talkin to you

flippinoptimist im glad, you too dude!  good luck w/ your computery bits, if you ever wanna trade for junk hit me up most dudes online cannot get into prosperity even if they try, cause theres a like, lock on the universe to keep gross guys out.  it takes a password to get through.  im one of the dudes who can get in tho oh uh, bye, have a good one!

bytedown I'll remember that, though I doubt you could visit me, good night to you

flippinoptimist ill trust you on that one