#if anyone read this far i'm giving you a kiss on the forehead and calling you 'sweetheart' with a french accent okay

[stabbyfoxandrew]

also hi. me and jess ended up binge watching iwtv s2 yesterday.

[nickfowlerrr]

the truth is this

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!reader (friends to lovers)

warnings: fluff, kissing, very slightly edging on heavy petting, mention of an erection, no smut but still 18+ only.

words: 2.9k

notes: loosely based on these prompts: platonic forehead kisses starting to give u the feels. LIKE ITS SOMETHING MAGICAL. and "is that really all 'A' is to you?" thank you so much to @anthony-sharma for the request! thank you in advance for reading and as always, feedback and reblogs are more than welcome and so appreciated!

"So you're telling me you didn't notice the way she was looking at you just now?" Sam asked skeptically.

"I'm telling you I have no idea what you're talking about," Bucky rebuffed, his brows furrowing in agitation.

"Well I do know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you and her finally pulling your heads out of your asses and realizing you like each other."

"No shit we like each other, Sam. She's one of my best friends."

"Is that really all she is to you?" he questioned pointedly.

Bucky stopped in his retreat as he took in Sam's words. He instantly knew his answer, but still told himself had to think about it. Because although his thoughts were flowing with all of the things you were to him, all things that went way beyond the scope of just friendship, he was still too scared to admit it to himself, let alone anyone else.

Sam watched as Bucky swallowed hard, his jaw tightening and brows furrowed even more. It looked as if he was blinking away his thoughts when he finally looked back at Sam. An annoyed look taking over his features once again. He didn't say anything, just grumbled in response before he continued out of the room.

For nearly three hours after the little confrontation he had with Sam, Bucky raged with himself in the privacy of his own room. His head was swirling and he could barely keep track of what part of him was winning the argument until a knock came on his door.

Not just any knock, your knock. Somewhere in the back of his mind he was expecting you, he had just lost track of time with the internal struggle he had been trying to sort out.

Something changed, though, when he heard you. All thoughts of not acknowledging his feelings, in part to not wreck what he already had with you, went right out the window.. kinda.

He could accept the true depth of his feelings for you, but he'd be damned if he spoke them aloud until he knew that there'd be no shot at hurting your friendship if you didn't feel the same.

Sam's words came back to him as he considered that you didn't. The way she looked at you...

How had you looked at him? Were all the signs there and he was just blind to them? Well, he'd be sure to pay close attention tonight. See if he could see what Sam saw.

He got to the door and opened it for you, greeting you with a smile as you walked into his room and instantly wrapped your arms around him in a tight hug. When you pulled back ever so slightly, peering up at him with sparkling eyes, Bucky swore he felt himself get weak in the knees.

Your smile was the most beautiful thing to him. He'd do anything to get one out of you, though he really didn't have to try all that hard. Your usually stoic demeanor, or resting bitch face as Kate had called it, was rarely ever broken; but as the rest of the team noticed long ago, Bucky seemed to have a knack for breaking it quite easily.

It was like you just couldn't help your smile when he was around. You'd always get more talkative and seemed a lot more approachable than when you were alone. It wasn't like you were a mean person, far from it, you just had a bit of an intimidating presence most of the time. You were a quiet person and weren't typically the most open. It wasn't something you put on, it was just your natural disposition. One of the reasons you and Bucky had gotten so close so quickly was because he was one of the only people to not have been put off by your introversion; he wasn't hesitant to talk to you, in fact, the moment he had seen you, he just had this feeling that you and him would get along swell. And he was right.

He'd gone up to you and introduced himself, and you gave him your name with a small smile in return. You and Bucky had a lot in common and though it took you a little while, you soon found yourself more comfortable around Bucky than you had been with anyone else...ever.

You guys could talk for ages and never bore, or you could sit in each other's silence comfortably for hours on end, not needing anything other than each other's company.

Neither of you realized how close you had gotten or how you appeared inseparable until it started getting pointed out by everyone else.

Repeatedly.

Over and over again.

Whether it was playful jokes at your mutual expense during meetings, or pestering whispers in your ears by your friends trying to bring your attentions to what everyone else could already see, to what everyone had seen from the very start of your and Bucky's friendship: That it was so definitely more than just friendship.

He wasn't sure what it was about Sam's comments this time that finally had him taking it seriously. Maybe it was because he felt it too. And truthfully, he always had, but maybe he just couldn't keep pushing the thoughts away. Maybe... maybe it was because he knew deep down, the love he felt for you was way more than just platonic. Maybe he finally realized that he was well and truly in love with you, and maybe he had a bit of hope burning bright that you felt the same way.

Bucky collects himself as he gazes into your eyes, feeling like if he stares too long he'll lose himself to you completely. But he really doesn't think he'd mind one bit. You pretty much have him already.

"So," you breathe as you begrudgingly pull away from his warmth, "did you decide? Movie or tv show?" you ask as you step past him further into his room.

He shuts his door before turning and following you to the kitchenette where you easily find the stash of candy Bucky keeps for your "movie" nights.

"Uhhh, you pick," he says as you pass him once again, heading to the couch and throwing your stockpile of sweets on the coffee table before you as you get comfortable.

"Okay," you agree, grabbing the remote and scrolling through the titles to find something at least halfway decent to put on.

Your eyes flick over to Bucky and you realize he's still wearing the clothes he had on earlier while you're in your pajamas, like you always are on movie night.

"Why are your clothes still on?" you ask as you peer up at him from your spot on the couch.

Bucky's breath catches in his throat as his heart nearly stops beating entirely, heat rising to his cheeks. In the same moment your eyes widen as you hear yourself and your breath stutters for just a second. Why did you say it like that? you chide yourself. Wishful thinking, some other part of your brain snickers. You push the thought away. Inappropriate.

"Huh?" Bucky asks, though he heard you full well.

"I mean, you're not in your pajamas," you clarify.

"Right, yeah, I uh, I was a bit distracted before you got here," he admits as he absentmindedly rubs the back of his neck. "I'm gonna change, you put something on. I'll be right back."

Bucky changes his clothes quickly and returns to you just as you find something to put on.

You watch him enter the room and laugh as you note that you're kinda matching now. You're both in gray sweats and as you wear a black long sleeve v-neck, Bucky has on a short sleeve v-neck in the same color.

Bucky notices as you do, "I swear this wasn't on purpose," he chuckles as he settles down next to you.

You titter as you start the movie and adjust in your seat to get more comfortable. And by more comfortable, you really just meaning scooting over to be closer to Bucky.

Bucky watches you as you move to be closer to him, smiling to himself as he realizes you're trying to be cool about it, trying to not make it too obvious. It's cute, but he really doesn't mind. In fact, the closer you are the happier he is. Your thigh brushes his as you keep a bit of space between your upper body and his chest.

Bucky fights off the urge to grab your legs and pull them into his lap but he can't fight the urge he has to pull you in closer.

His arm comes around your right side as he pulls you into him. You look up at him in a bit of surprise, but he doesn't return your gaze, he keeps his eyes set on the screen before him.

You blink in wonder before you look back at the screen too. You bite your lip to keep from smiling at his unexpected action and settle into his hold, scootching closer as you recline against him and let his hand rest on the curve of your waist meeting your hip.

You feel like you’d been dropping hint after hint, purposefully, these past two weeks after a long night of talking with Sam and Nat when you were finally able to put a name to your feelings; the realization you had entirely fallen for your best friend was maybe a bit pulled out of you by them but it was true nonetheless.

You’d stopped holding yourself back the way you normally did when it came to touches and hugs lately, hoping maybe Bucky would get the hint and you wouldn’t have to say it outright.. at least not first.

Admittedly, you could feel the tiniest bit of awkwardness - or maybe tension was the better word, between you and him at the moment. Not entirely unpleasant, but still it was there. At least it had been for a minute. But soon as Bucky settled his hand on your hip, that all faded as soon as it appeared. It was completely comfortable, it felt right, being this close to him. Though, truthfully, it always felt right when Bucky around.

As you fought your smile and Bucky’s hand gently squeezed your hip unconsciously, your heart warmed. Maybe he was finally picking up on what you were trying to do and hopefully the reason why.

Sam and Nat had been sure to let you know it was obvious that he felt the same for you, but still you were nervous to come right out with it.

Slow and steady, you remind yourself. No need to rush things anyway. You’d rather him come to the same realization you had on his own time, not yours.

But god, you hoped he really felt the same.

Bucky takes a peek down at you once he feels your eyes are off of him. He smiles to himself at how perfect this is. How comfortable you both are with the more intimate touches, despite neither of you bringing it up. It just feels natural.

So natural, he isn't really thinking much when he leans down and places a gentle kiss to your forehead. When he catches himself doing it, he zeros in on your reaction to it. It's not like he hadn't done it before, but any time he had it was usually in parting, as customary for you guys as a hug.

This was clearly more intimate. A show of affection he wanted to give you, no other reason than that.

He admires the soft fluttering of your lashes and the way you lean further into him, letting your head rest on his chest.

For half a second, he sees you worry you've made a mistake as he pulls his arm from around you but when he gently takes hold of your chin and turns you to face him, time seems to stand still as you gaze at one another.

You wait with bated breath as you search his bright eyes that are gleaming down at you. He can hear the change in the rhythm of your heartbeat and as he lets his eyes flit to your lips, he swears he hears the sharp intake of air you breathe as your eyes fall to his own lips before returning to his stare.

The next thing he knows, Bucky is holding your gorgeous face in his hands before he leans in closer and takes your lips in his. It's slow and gentle as he takes his time savoring your first kiss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registers your hands on his as you return the kiss, and it quickly turns a bit more fervent. Like you've both been waiting forever for this exact moment to happen.

You pull your legs up onto the couch as you turn and move closer to Bucky. You're not thinking as you straddle his lap, the kiss only growing deeper and more intent with each second that passes.

Your hands leave Bucky's as you move them to stabilize yourself without full on sitting in his lap, one hand behind his neck and the other on the couch behind him. Bucky's own hands find their place on your hips before he pulls you down, forcing you down on his lap.

You moan into his mouth as he grabs a handful of your ass and you feel him growing slightly beneath you.

You have to break the kiss to breathe, both of you panting heavily as you press your forehead to his, nose to nose as you breathe one another in. You can't help the smile that breaks out on your face as you laugh breathily, gripping his neck as you shake your head in disbelief.

You place a soft kiss to his lips once more as he holds you to him.

"Sorry," Bucky begins, though he looks to be the furthest thing from it as he smiles that charming smile of his. "I just.. I think I've wanted to do that for a while now. It just felt right."

"You don't have to apologize," you smile softly in turn as you play with the stray hairs curled at the nape of his neck. "I think I've wanted you to do that for a while now. And it did," you breathe with a nod, "it definitely felt right."

"I wanna do more of this," he murmurs against your lips after he places another kiss to yours.

"Me too," you agree with a peck of your own. "I think I wanna make out with you," you muse.

One side of his mouth slants up in a smirk as his hands run up your sides, "I think I want you to make out with me, too," he says, amused before going in for another kiss. You both smile into it and you swear your heart is near bursting as your tummy flutters in your happiness.

"There's something I need to tell you first," he says seriously as he parts just slightly from you.

His hands rubbing up and down your back keep you from worrying as he effortlessly soothes you.

He maintains eye contact as you wait for him to continue.

"I think, - no, I know," he corrects himself. "I love you," he breathes your name as part of his confession.

You move your hand from the couch and gently hold his stubbly cheek instead, thumb rubbing over the skin of his cheek softly.

You smile again, holding his eye as you lean into him before you kiss him slow and deep, trying to get all of the things you're feeling across to him, but most namely, the main one. The love.

You part from him gently as he follows you, mindlessly chasing your lips before catching himself.

He blinks up at you as you perch over him slightly.

"I love you, too, Buck," you nearly whisper as you caress his cheek. "This doesn't change anything, ya know," you add.

He furrows his brow in slight confusion at your words.

You laugh lightly at his expression before continuing, "You're still my best friend. Nothing's gonna change that."

"Wouldn't expect it to," he smiles.

It's quiet between you for a moment before you speak again.

"Promise," you urge softly.

"Promise?"

"Promise nothing's gonna change that," you say as you look down at his chest, moving your idle hand to play with the chain you find there.

"I promise, hey" he says sincerely as he puts two fingers under your chin and has you meet his eye once more, "I promise."

"I don't wanna lose you."

"You won't," he reassures you before suddenly turning you both and flipping you on your back as he leans over you. You gaze up at him a little breathless as you titter.

"Okay," you whisper your trust, your arms reaching up to wrap around his thick neck, pulling him down closer to you.

"Okay," he echos before brushing his lips against yours once more.

The movie is long forgotten as you and Bucky spend the rest of the night completely wrapped up in one another. Talking, touching, just being with each other. The way you were always meant to. It was comfortable, easy. And you couldn't ask for more as you felt entirely whole and at peace in his strong arms promising to never let you go.

[zyhkoo]

☆ we do together - jason todd x f!reader

fluff, vigilante reader, college au

you and jason work on your research paper

With patrol done, the two of you immediately slumped on the couch. Though you had your own patrol route, you loved to get in Jason’s patrol route. Not that he didn’t mind of course, he’d gladly let you patrol with him. Today’s patrol was crazy though, it definitely wore the two of you out.

Not bothering to change into much comfortable clothes, you and Jason lazed on the couch. You were sitting down while he was on the far corner of the couch while his feet laid on your lap.

Your stomach grumbled, you forgot to eat your lunch a while ago because you were so busy with your college assignments.

You looked over at him “Jay..” you called out his name. Jason, whose eyes are closed while facing the ceiling, answered “Yeah?”

You sighed, “I’m hungry.. you promised to cook.” Jason slowly turns his face to you “Told you, you said you weren’t hungry while doing the assignment.” he scolded.

The two of you were in literature degrees, in the same class, same professors, and the same lectures. So any assignments, projects so on and so forth; Jason and you would always work together.

“I really wasn’t, I snacked too much.” you retorted “Can we just get takeout?” he asks while crossing his legs. You rolled your eyes and reached the phone to your pocket “Fine.”

You looked at the clock on your homescreen, 2:30 am. Then.. a sudden realization hit you. You tug on his jacket “Jason..” he looks at you with a lazy expression “Hm?”

You looked at him horrifyingly, he checked the clock then it hit him too.

“The research paper!”

You were quickly going through the food app while Jason scrambled to the laptop “Fuck we’re only halfway.” he curses, his hand moving to his forehead “At least it’s halfway…” you pointed out.

You look for sources while Jason reads and types out whatever is needed, if anyone walked in on both of you they’d be concerned to see two College students looking like zombies.

The pizza you ordered arrived, Jason opened the box and saw the toppings you disliked on the pizza “Thought you hated this?” he said, showing you the pizza.

She groaned “Ugh, I must’ve accidentally asked for it. Whatever, give me a slice I’m starving.”

Jason remembers waiting for the letters for both your college applications. You both graduated highschool together, and now this was the bigger deal. Jason was looking forward to being in college with you, especially in a degree you both absolutely were interested in.

He remembered you pacing on the manor waiting for the mail to come while Jason told you that it was going to be alright. You wanted to be in college with him too of course, you’ve known each other since forever and you want it to stay that way.

Damian knocked on Jason’s door with two letters on his hand “These are for you, Todd. Is she in there as well?” Jason took the letters from his small tiny hand “Yeah she is, thanks.” Jason says as he closes the door.

“Is this it?” you asked “Yep, here's yours.” the two of you read in silence, he was accepted. Jason looked at you, a small smile on his face. You were still reading the contents of the letter, focusing hard “So? What’d they say?”

You turned back to him with a bright smile “I'm in! You?” he returns the smile “Got accepted too.” you pulled him to a tight embrace “We’re starting college together oh my god I’m so happy.” she says.

He wanted to experience all the bad and good things in life with you. Because he loves you, your presence just makes him happy already. At first, he wasn’t sure if he was capable of loving, but with you it was enough.

Morning passed, Jason woke up on the table. A blanket was covering him and next to him was you, peacefully sleeping on the coffee table. He looked at your features and smiled, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

You stirred in your sleep “Jay?” he looks down “Yeah?” he answered your call, you shook your head, yawning. “Nothing.” he sighs softly, playing with your hair “Just wanted to call my name?”

You nodded “Yeah.” he yawned “Well, shit it’s twelve now. Can’t go to class today.” he comments, " you stretched your arms. “It’s okay fuck the professor.” you say “We’ll pass it tomorrow.”

[apocalypseornaw]

Real or Not (Pt 4/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean finds out what Camila did and hits the road to chase you to Donna's in hopes you'll talk to him and hear him out

@lacilou s idea

Dean climbed into the impala and Sam was silent. He glanced over to see you were looking at the impala or Camila, your eyes had that far away look when you were lost in thought. He said a prayer to Castiel, hoping the angel was listening to ask him to keep a feed on you. He hated sending you on a hunt without him or Sam backing you, he didn't trust anyone else.

As soon as he started the engine and pulled out onto the road Sam turned to look at him "Dude, what the hell was that?" He knew his confusion spoke for itself because Sam motioned back towards where they'd come from "You kissed Y/N on the frickin forehead! Like you do Charlie or Jody!" "Fuck" he slammed his hand against the steering wheel when he realized what he'd done.

Sam shook his head "I know going into a hunt isn't the best time but what's going on here Dean?" Dean let out a groan before turning to look at Sam "Before Camila called my plan was to take Y/N to one of Bobby's cabins for the weekend just the two of us so I could talk to her"

"about?" Sam pushed and Dean shrugged "I'm in love with her Sam. The way I feel about her, I never knew those feelings could happen to me but just waking up with her in my arms makes me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted it to be a big romantic thing with her favorite flowers and a fireplace for us to be in front of. She deserves the best and I wanted to give it to her"

"You do realize she's probably thinking that forehead kiss was because of Camila? I know her pretty good and sometimes she's not quite as confident as she acts and if she thinks you're trying to treat her differently because of Camila..." Sam trailed off but Dean could read between the lines, what if something happened to you because he'd made a stupid mistake from simply letting himself get in his own head? How the hell could he live with himself?

He shook his head "She'll be ok for the hunt. She thrives on the fight then I'll talk to her as soon as we meet up" Sam nodded slowly "Ok"

A few bruises but beyond that Dean and Sam both had faired pretty well. No casualties and the kids were headed home to their parents.

Sam cut his eyes towards him as he peeled out onto the road "Since we got the fight she should be ok" Dean nodded "but I need to talk to her now"

------------

When the boys got back to the motel they spotted Camila's mustang so they parked in front of her room. They both got out quickly, Dean a few steps ahead of Sam. When he knocked on the door Camila burst out "Oh Dean! I don't know what happened Y/N went insane and attacked me"

He froze for two reasons, you didn't ever swing without reason and she was trying to put her hands on him. He pushed her back not enough to make her stumble but to make it clear he needed space. "What the hell do you mean?" Camila shrugged "We were talking and she hit me!" She had two tells when she lied, her eyes got too big and her voice got higher.

"What the fuck did you do to Y/N?" He asked letting venom drip into his voice. You weren't here, she'd left you alone in a town you didn't know with few weapons. She had the nerve to fucking grin at him "I got her out of the way so we can get back together. Cmon Dean you know we were good together" she tried to touch him again so he stepped back holding a hand up "Don't! Tell me where the fuck my girlfriend is now!"

--------

Sam called Dean's name after over hearing the conversation and when Dean looked up he waved him over "I can track her phone"

Dean was leaning over Sam's shoulder at the trunk if the impala when he heard Camila say "Told ya" he looked up to see she had his phone. He'd never moved as fast as snatching the phone out of her hand. He looked at the call log to see your number had been called "What did you do?" Camila shrugged "Made sure she won't take you back"

Dean could feel his blood boiling as he stepped back from her "Get it right the only reason I'm not beating your ass is because you're a woman but let's get one thing straight Y/N is it for me. The past Dean you can have him he was young and dumb. She brings out the best in me. There isn't a future for me without her in it. You could live a thousand times over and not be half the woman she is. Don't fucking call me or Sam ever again and after I make a few phone calls you'll be black listed so find a new career besides hunting"

The road stretched out too damn far in front of Dean. You had damn near an hour head start but it didn't take a lot to guess where you were headed considering what direction you were headed in. You would be at Donna's.

Your phone was turned off a while ago but luckily Sam was still able to track it. He needed to see you, see what lies Camila had told you. Why had he trusted her?

He never should've agreed to help her on a hunt. He should've kept the original plans he had and you'd be in his arms right now. "Has Donna answered?" He asked Sam for what felt like the hundredth time. Sam shook his head "No"

---------------

He never should've made you doubt how he felt. He should've told you the moment he started to fall, he should've trusted that the two of you could face whatever would come together. He should've made sure no one could come between the two of you.

Every damn memory he had of you flashed through his head. When you agreed to move into the bunker, the first time he knew he was developing feelings for you, the first time you kissed. Every damn moment was etched into his mind, you were the best woman he'd ever met. You were beautiful and chaotic, strong but gentle.

The future was something he could finally imagine, retiring from hunting, a ring on your finger. Taking vacations and having a house that didn't double as a fall out shelter. Knowing what was out there but knowing the world was to a point you could hand the reigns over hunting over. Bruises no longer being under his lips when he kissed down your body, no longer being scared he'd have to see you on top of a pyre one day.

He hadn't realized Sam was talking to him until he reached over to shake his arm. "What?" "I said we're almost to Donna's. Are you good?" Dean shook his head "Ask me that after I talk to Y/N"

@lacilou @saranghaey @stoneyggirl2 @marimarvelfan @roseblue373 @suckitands33 @backtotheshitshow @jackles010378 @leigh70 @diagnosedpsychosis @badassbitch-21

[bteezxyewriter12]

Pushing You Away

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 3.3k

Includes- Angst, oral, pussy eating, cum eating, missionary, slow sex, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

Yoongi POV

I pace back and forth in my living room, panicking inside

"Yoongi", she says softly but I shake my head

Her words, what she just told me, it can't be true

That's not what's going on with us

She knows....this is just casual dating

I told her

It's not serious

I didn't want serious

I told her when we changed our friendship to....this

She was my best friend first and she knows my love life history

How bad it is

She assured me it wouldn't be serious

And she just ruined everything

"Yoongi, we can talk about this"

"No we can't Joanne", I snap, "You knew we weren't serious"

She stands up from the couch, "Yoongi, we...we've been together for over a year. You act like it's serious, you act like a boyfriend. What do you want me to feel? Nothing?"

"I don't know", I answer, still pacing, "Just not what you said"

She throws her hands up in their air, "What I said? You can't even say it?"

No, I can't

She knew that wasn't what I wanted

"I love you Yoongi!"

"Stop", I whisper

"No you stop! I can't help how I feel ok? I'm sorry but I fell in love with you"

"That's not what this is! That's not what you're supposed to do!", I yell

She looks at me sadly, "I'm not supposed to fall in love with you? How can I not? You're with me everyday. You ask me to go to your studio while you work, to your photos shoots, your performances. You hold my hand all the time. You call me jagi all the time. When you sit with me, your arms are wrapped around me every time. You kiss me all the time without trying to fuck. You kiss my lips, my cheek, my hand, my forehead. You cook for me. We spend time together cuddling and watching TV. You smile at me every time I see you. You hold me in your arms every night. How can I not fall for you?"

I know I do those things but it's just like a natural response

Am I supposed to sit far from her when we're watching TV?

Especially when she sits next to me?

If we're eating together and I'm cooking, I'm not supposed to cook for her too?

That's rude if I don't

She's in my bed with me every night, how am I not supposed to hold her?

When she's cuddling into me, am I supposed to push her away?

She's always come to my studio and events, am I not supposed to ask her to come now that we're "together?"

I'm not an asshole

And jagi is just a name

Nothing more

"Because it doesn't mean anything! You didn't have to read into everything I did so much"

"Bullshit Yoongi", she snaps, "If it didn't mean anything you would have ended our relationship already by now"

"I'm just used to you!", I exclaim

I don't want to hurt her but I don't want anyone to love me

I don't want that

I never wanted that again

She just shakes her head, "I don't believe you"

"It's true!", I snap, "I don't feel like that for you!"

I don't

I won't

Yes, I like her

A lot

But I don't love her

I can't love her

I won't love her

Every woman I ever loved hurt me and left

Cheated

Used me for my fame

Used me for my money

Never loved me

Told me I'm a sucky boyfriend, I never have time for them, I'm cold, I'm not affectionate, they couldn't see a future with me

I gave them my heart and it's only been crushed and broken

And I swore, never again

I'm keeping that promise

I don't love her

"Yoongi-"

"No! You know this is exactly what I didn't want. I don't....I can't...."

She moves in front of me, stopping my pacing, her hands on my arms, her eyes on mine

"I'll be here Yoongi", she says, keeping eye contact with me, "I love you and I'm not giving up on you. I'm not abandoning you. I never will"

That's what she says now

Because she's "in love" now

But what about in a year?

What about in two?

What about when the bad time inevitably come?

What about when I have to go to the military?

Is she still gonna be here?

No, she's not

"Yoongi, I would never hurt you naekkeo. I know you Yoongi. Since we were kids. I've been by your side for all of BTS. I know what being with an idol entails. I will never leave you Yoongi. You don't have to be scared with me baby. I love you so much, you don't even know", she says, one of her hands cupping my cheek, "I will always be by your side Yoongi. Always. You are who I want now, tomorrow, in the future. You"

I wish I could believe her but I don't

I've heard these words before and they've always been broken

Taken back

Left me alone, broken

She believes she'll always be here but she won't

And I won't risk it

They all leave eventually

And she will too

I won't let her hurt me

I shake my head, pulling away from her

"No", I answer, "I don't want your love like that. You'll leave just like all the others"

"No I won't", she insists, "I'm still here after a year Yoongi. I'm not going anywhere"

"You say that now but what about in another year? What about when I'm in the military and gone for two years?"

"I will be right here waiting for you"

No she won't

"No. It's lies. You won't. When I'm not here you'll leave", I snap, "You ruined what this was. I wish you never told me"

I turned from her so I don't have to see her hurt face

"You have to leave", I tell her, wanted her gone

I can't deal with this right now, can't deal with her being here

"This is over. I don't want to be with you", I say

She's silent for a minute then I hear her, "Alright"

I close my eyes, fighting back tears

I hear her moving, then my front door unlocking

"Yoongi. I'll go for now but I'll wait for you", she tells me, "As long as it takes, as long as you need, whenever you're ready, I'll be here. I promise. I love you and I'm not abandoning you naekkeo. I never will"

I hear her words but they don't mean anything

Empty promises

Empty words

In a month or two she'll be with someone else, all these promises she's making forgotten

She won't love me and realize she didn't mean it

But my heart will be safe

The door closes and I'm alone

I wipe my eyes, breathing in to calm down

This is for the best

This is what I want

I'm safe

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

Six weeks later

The door in front of me opens, her beautiful brown eyes wide as she looks at me

"Yoongi?", she says softly

I take the sight of her after not seeing her for weeks, take in the sound of her voice after not speaking to her for weeks

I missed her so much

I move towards her, terrified that she's going to push me away, but I force myself to move

Utter relief fills my body, when her arms wrap around my body, holding me tightly

I bury my face in her neck, my arms around her waist, holding on for dear life

Her scent fills my nose, the feeling like I'm home overwhelms me and I start crying

"Shh naekkeo", she whispers, one of her hands moving, her fingers running in my hair comfortingly

I cry harder hearing her call me naekkeo

She's still calling me the nickname she did when we were together

It gives me hope

"Come inside baby", she says but I can't let her go

Not yet

"I love you", I confess, "I love you so much Jo"

"I love you Yoongi. More than anything", she answers, proving everything I thought wrong

Even though I came here, I fully expected her to turn me away, to tell me she doesn't feel that way anymore, that I hurt her too much

That she didn't want me anymore

But she proved everything she said the last time I saw her was true

She waited for me

She loves me

"Come baby", she says

I nod, pulling away but keeping a death grip on her hand

She closes the door, then leads me to her living room, sitting us on the couch

"Are you ok baby?", she asks

I shake my head, tears filling my eyes

"I need you", I tell her, "I'm sorry jagi. I'm sorry for everything I said. I'm sorry for not believing you. I'm sorry for hurting you"

"Naekkeo it's ok", she says, her hand on my cheek, lifting my head to hers, "I know you didn't mean it baby. I know you were scared. I know you needed time"

She's too good to me

I told her I didn't love her, I kicked her out of my apartment, I didn't believe she loved me, didn't believe she'd stay with me, compared her to the other girls who hurt me and broke up with her

She's being way too easy going

"I'm sorry", I say, squeezing her hand, "Please jagi, take me back. I can't...I can't stand to be without you anymore. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize how in love with you I am. I'm sorry I broke up with you. I want to come back"

It was torture

I felt her absence the next day when I woke up

I tried to be ok but I found myself crying all the time

Thinking about her all the time

Wanting her all the time, wanting to be near her, feel her in my arms

I denied what I was feeling for awhile, trying to convince myself that I just missed her because I was used to her

But it was a crock of bullshit

Just like she said it was

I was just so tired of missing her and I stopped holding back my feelings, letting myself feel the love I have for her

And I realized I'm completely in love with her

She's the only one I want

It took me two weeks to get the courage to come here

Because while I knew I loved her, I still doubted her love for me

I was heartbroken again, because I was without her but this time it was my fault

I walked away, not her

I broke my own heart

And when I woke up this morning, I couldn't stand being apart from her for another second

I got dressed and came here immediately

"You're my everything Joanne", I confess, keeping my gaze on hers, "You're the only one I see my whole life with jagi. I want you by my side for the rest of my life and I want to be by yours. I'll never doubt you again baby and I promise I'll show you how much I love you every single day for the rest of our lives. I promise. My heart is yours jagi. Always"

She tilts her head, a soft smile on her face, "I love you so much Yoongi. You're my everything naekkeo. I promise I'll always be by your side baby. I promise I'll never abandon you. I'll never hurt you. Never. I'll keep your heart safe Yoongi. Always"

I nod, completely believing her this time

"I'll keep your heart safe jagi. I promise I never hurt you again"

She nods, smiling, then leans close, her soft lips finally against mine again

-------------------------------

"Yoongi", she moans, as I press a kiss to her bare pussy, keeping her legs open

We spent the whole day together with me clinging onto her

Holding her hand, standing next to her, hugging her, laying together, napping together

She just laughed, holding me tightly, giving me so many kisses, constantly telling me she loved me

And instead of pushing it away like last time, I embraced it, let myself feel her love, let myself feel happy

I absolutely love hearing her say she loves me and I love telling her I love her

I thought I'd still be scared but I'm not

I trust her completely, I believe her, know she'll never hurt me, know she loves me as much as I love her and all the fear I had just left

It's just me and her

Jagi and naekkeo

Forever

Laying my tongue on her, I slowly drag it up, in between her pussy lips, feeling how soft she is, tasting how good her she is

Fuck, I missed this

I love eating her out, my face, my tongue always in her cunt, pulling orgasm after orgasm out from her, drinking her sweet cream

I ate her out everyday and now that I have her back, I'm going to continue that

Every single day

Moving my tongue faster, I run the tip up and down, her pussy soaking my face

I push my face into her pussy more, savoring her taste, drowning in her, wanting nothing more than to stay here forever

"Yoongi", she whimpers, her hand moving in my hair, fingers threading in my strands

My tongue slides down, moving right into her throbbing hole, going in as much as I can

Her pussy clamps down on my tongue, the throbbing running down my spine to my already hard dick

Moving her legs on my shoulders, I thrust my tongue in and out of her soaking hole, my hands gliding up her body, feeling her skin under my fingers

I need to touch her

It's been too long without having her soft skin under my hands

I move my hands around her boobs, squeezing softly as I tongue fuck her, her hips moving against my face, meeting my tongue, her pretty moans music I can listen to forever

"Yoongi", she whines, the sound of my name in her stunning voice turning me on so much more

"Mmm baby", I murmur between thrusts, my fingers now playing and pinching her nipples, "Need your cream jagi"

"Ffff ..fuck", she whimpers, her hand tightening in my hair

"Please baby", I beg, "I miss it so much. Wanna taste you baby"

"Yoongi, oh baby", she moans, coming at the next stroke of my tongue

Her pussy squeezes my tongue so hard, her delicious cream all over it and in my mouth, holding my head against her cunt

I groan as I swallow over and over, my hands back on her hips, gripping them tightly as I drink from her pussy

"Yes naekkeo, fuck, fuck, fuck", she cries, her body shaking beautifully

I keep swallowing until she's done, then I use my fingers to spread her open, my tongue lapping at her clit

"Oh my fucking god", she moans, her back arching off the bed, both hands buried in my hair

Her clit pulses under my tongue and I can't fucking get enough, licking her rapidly

"Yes Yoongi, yes baby"

Her words fuel me to go faster until my tongue is flying on her little clit, her screams getting louder and louder

Tugging her clit in my mouth I suck rapidly, reveling in the feel of it against my lips and moaning as I suck

I could do this all day, never tiring of the pulses, of her drenching me, of her screaming my name

I just want to please her

"Yoongi", she cries, her cunt grinding in my face, her hand digging into my upper arm, her other hand pulling my hair so hard

Slurping on her clit sends her right into her impending orgasm and I lift my eyes to watch her

Goddamn, she's fucking gorgeous

"Yoongi", she pants as I suck her through it, determined to not let go until she finishes, "Naekkeo. Oh fuck"

When her hips stop moving, I slip my tongue down, licking up her cream, savoring her taste and cleaning up her cunt, her body shivering on the bed

I don't stop until I lick up every last drop

Only then do I move, going on top of her, her arms pulling me down on her as I lay between her legs, our skin right against each other's

Her hands cup my face as she pulls me in for a kiss, her legs moving around my waist

Aligning to her, I push my cock into her waiting pussy slowly, feeling her latch on my head and suck me in so pleasurably

Her hips move, wiggling onto my length as I move, our soft moans filling the room between kisses

I bottom out, holding myself inside her softly pulsing pussy, her hands running up and down my back as she kisses me passionately, fire racing across every cell she touches

This is where I belong

With her

Even with other girls I loved, I never had this feeling of belonging, this feeling of being home

Only with her

My jagi

My everything

Kissing her, I move my arm around her back, holding her against me as I begin to thrust softly, so slowly into her

Dragging my kisses from her lips, I move to her neck, pressing my lips into the spots she loves, making her shiver against me

My mind empties of everything but her

Her soft whimpers, her fingers on my back, her legs around me, her scent, her soft skin under my lips

The bliss of being with her, feeling her stretch open for me, clenching around me as I enter her and my head hits her spot

She's so wet there's a pretty squelching sound when my cock goes into her, the room filled with it

"So good baby", I whisper against her skin, holding her as close as she can get, "So tight for me. So wet. Fuck, I missed you"

"I missed you Yoongi. So much naekkeo", she whispers, the fingers of one of her hands running in my hair, "I was going to wait for you for as long as it took but I missed you so fucking much"

"I'm here baby", I promise her, lifting my head, gazing in her eyes, softly caressing her cheek, "I'm not leaving you again. I promise"

She smiles nodding, "I'm not leaving you either naekkeo. Don't forget"

I shake my head, "I won't jagi"

Our lips meet in a searing kiss that I fall into immediately

I continue moving, thrusting into her slowly, her hips moving now and meeting my strokes

I go inside her so much deeper, her legs squeezing around my hips just like her pussy squeezes my cock

I'm in complete ecstacy, everything in me focused on her

I feel her fluttering harder around my shaft as we move together, both of us close

After a few more thrusts, massive pleasure hit me as we cum together, the bliss from mine and hers blinding me

"Yoongi", she moans, pressing quick kisses to my lips, "I love you"

"I love you", I gasp, between kisses, my body shaking against hers, "I love you Jo"

We kiss each other as the ecstasy goes on, her pussy creaming my cock and milking my cum at the same time

God fucking damn, it's so fucking good

When we finish, our kiss breaks, both of us breathing hard, as I look down at her

"I love you", I tell her

She smiles beautifully, moving my sweaty hair back off my face, "I love you"

Leaning back down, I kiss her again

I have to, I just can't stay away from her lips for long

Pulling out, I move next to her on the bed, her body turning to mine, intertwining together, cuddling into each other, our lips never pulling away

As I kiss the love of my life, I know that we're both going to keep the promises we made to each other

I'll never doubt her again

[sakumz]

____________________________________________

「 s. izumi x gn reader 」

a/n : how long was the last time I write for this man. YOU. BETTER. COME. HOME. SOON. @FS2 IZUMI SENA.

____________________________________________

2 a.m. he's not home. he has yet to reply to your endless texts. why's he ignoring you? did you do something wrong? another night without a single blob of izumi sena, your beloved lover.

" arashi... do you think izumi hates me? " how can she miss it? your bloodshot eyes. everyone from knights can tell, you've been crying and rubbing your eyes aggressively to stop the tears from falling.

she sighs before she replies to your question. he's a busy man afterall, nothing less to expect. you should've seen this coming and you know it so well. but can you really stop your own heart for beating so hard for the man you call your lover?

" you know... he's a busy man, maybe you should talk it out to him when he comes back to Japan in the next two days. I can't say much about your relationship with him, I doubt anyone can. he's been pretty secretive these days and there's barely any news either that netizens have picked up on. he can't possibly be cheating ? "

two days without izumi again? izumi cheating? how far have you fallen in this pit of love. you can't help but feel another wave of tears wash over you. you must stay strong! you're at work now. don't cry. you look away from arashi and quickly rub your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt.

your action was stopped momentarily when you feel someone catch your wrist, pulling your hand away from your face and turning your chair to him. right... this scent, was his. he pulls you in a hug as you bawl your eyes out. it's your beautiful blue eyed lover.

" I'm sorry. I missed you, so much. I'm sorry, " as he pulls away from the hug, he kisses your forehead. how you missed him so much.

as you pull away from him, you glared at him. who does he think he is. kisses and hugs won't fix this! it shouldn't anyways. he flicks your forehead when he takes notice of your expression.

" come on, now. don't give me the silent treatment! I flew all the way from Florence to meet you and this is what I get? I've been busy and I'm sorry I couldn't reply to any of your texts. I just... overthinking... I read all your messages and I'm not sure with how I should reply to any of them. it's weird too, the timezones shaky and you're equally busy. I didn't want you to think of me so much when I'm not with you, " he says as he leans down to look directly at your face. you're just so adorable in his eyes.

" I hate you, so much izumi sena! you've got me all worried over nothing, it seems. timezones don't matter! I still appreciate a little effort to get a little attention from you. a simple hi is enough! if I shouldn't be thinking of you so much, does that mean you don't think of me either? " you playfully pout as he pinches your cheeks when you puff em out.

arashi giggles at the lovers quarrel. she'll stand with you on this. izumi couldn't help but turn to glare at her. she should side with him! he's known her longer than you, before he could open his mouth to argue with her too. he felt a little tug on his shirt.

" well no matter what, you're here. you're looking good as ever and you're fine. you're in one piece, I'm happy that you're back home. welcome home, sweetheart! " as you jump from your seat to hug him, you both fall over. he can't help but crack up a smile at your childishness. he's home. that's what matters.

[masonmiamor]

bracelets and soulmates - - mason mount x reader.

summary: a small blurb of making bracelets and calling mase your soulmate, also a little bit of disney movies never hurt anyone right?

i’m not so sure of this so please bear with me as i’m posting this after my break! 💕💕 i hope you still enjoy reading it!! any feedback appreciated as i’m getting back onto writing!

“Wait- Mason! Hold on bubs…” you laughed as Mason snuggled closer to you, holding you by your waist. “We still have one more activity to do,” you said, slightly pulling away and grabbing his cheeks gently to give him a quick peck. His soft brown eyes stared into yours, his pupils dilating and his cheeks burning slightly red.

“Give me your hand baby,” he whispered and you listened, Mason pressed your small palm against his heart, “After all this time you still make me nervous, like a schoolboy all over again,” he chuckled, shaking his head and placing a small kiss on your forehead. You could feel his rapid heartbeat almost hear it against your hand.

“What did you want to do? You mentioned a final activity? What is it?” he asked. “We’re making each other bracelets!” you said happily, clapping your hands excited. “I got the idea while buying decorations for our upcoming housewarming party,” you said, then walking over to the white plastic bags that rested against the wooden table by the entrance.

You pulled out a plastic container filled with beads from all different shapes and colors, along with elastic string, and small jewels and charms. “I thought, "Why not?” It can be a small reminder of each other if we’re ever away like for example this weekend,” you refer to the small getaway with your girlfriends and him being away for a match.

Mason had followed behind you feeling still slightly nervous. He was beaming being back with you after almost a week. The late night calls and texts throughout the day just reminded him of the distance and just wanting to be in your arms since it was home. His safe place. Especially after the season his team had, you soothed him and relaxed him in every way possible.

The way you gave him space after a thought day waiting for him to come to you, the small kisses on the nape of his neck that sent tingles down his spine, your small hands stretching his back and hair when cuddling on the couch. Hell, even your voice and laughter brought a sense of comfort to him!

“It's perfect, baby! You just have to guide me through how to make them even if it’s 2 steps,” Mason jokes, helping you take the bags to his living room. You lit up some candles, grabbed your glass of wine and sat down on the floor near the coffee table. Mason sat beside you but pulled you closer whining at how far away you were from him.

“It’s simple, first pick out your choice of beads, then grab the string and do this,” you demonstrate the small knot and attach a clasp next. “Add the beads till the desired length and then finally attach the other end of the clasp to secure the bracelet!” you continued. “I’ll be here to help you don’t worry,” you reassure him by giving him a small kiss.

You watched as he picked larger baby blue beads, smaller navy ones, and white micro beads. He also grabbed the small football charm and the letter M for his initials. As much as you wanted to focus you found his little concentrated face so adorable, brows pulled in, frowning then and there, his tongue peaking out his bottom lip at times.

You picked out the design you wanted and began assembling it, but before doing so you grabbed the remote and played your shared playlist on the screen to set the mood. “Play Dreams, Fairytales, Fantasies by Brent Faiyez next,” Mason requested and so you did hearing him hum and sing the song, you doing the same.

“You send me texts through the day like, baby, you fine, And I can still feel the tingle up and down my spine”

“I must be losing my mind… Dream, fairy tale, fantasy when you're around me”

“I think I'm done?” Mason said, inspecting the bracelet and bringing it to your wrist to make sure it wasn’t too small or big, but the perfect size. “Do you like it?” he asked shyly, making you nod your head quickly, “It’s beautiful Mason! Thank you!” you praised him twisting your wrist to take a closer look. “I’m not quite done but this is yours so far,” you reach out and show him.

His eyes glow, bringing his finger and running it down the beads, “Let’s see if it beats mine,” he tries to banter, causing you to playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll be right back, going to put the cookies in the oven so we can eat them while watching a disney movie!” he yells out while entering the kitchen.

You make sure first he isn’t looking as you head shuffling, and finish adding the “XOXO” beads to then pick out “soulmate” for the other side of the bracelet keeping the small color of beads you decided from the start. You smile at the almost finished bracelet adjusting the beads so they don't have gaps or anything.

You tried it on your wrist fitting a bit bigger but it looked exactly how you planned it, the small heart and your initial charms making you smile like an idiot. Mason walked back into you cleaning up the table, quickly helping you pick up any of the beads that dropped on the floor.

He sat on the couch bringing you close and holding you by your thighs since you were kind of straddling him. His warm hands ran against them watching as goosebumps appeared to the affection. “Do you wanna see it?” you said teasingly making Mason cock his head to the side giving you an “Obviously” look.

“Close your eyes and hand me your wrist, and no peeking!” you insisted. Mason does as you say even covering his eyes with his left hand. “Open…” his brown eyes quickly glance to the bracelet you made for him, his heart beating fast again. “Soulmate…” he let out a breath, smiling.

You grabbed his hand and kissed over his knuckles lovingly, your thumbs then rubbing over his decorated wrist. “I hope you know no matter where we are, you're my soulmate. I love you Mason, always, never forget that,” you express. “I know how hard it’s been for you but I want you to know that I'll be there for and with you at all times. Just like you are for me.”

Mason's eyes get glossy, the bridge of his nose burning red as he bites the inside of his cheeks. “Thank you. For this and for always being who you are Y/n. I’m lucky and fortunate to get to wake up next to you, hold and kiss you whenever I please, and come to you for anything. My soulmate indeed. Also my future wife and mother to my kids,” Mason says, a tear going down his cheek.

You rest your forehead against his kissing over the freckles on his nose and cheeks and then finally pull him into a loving kiss. Mason could taste the cherries and a small hint of the wine you were drinking, holding you close by the back of your head.

“How about we watch Tangled?” you propose after kissing and holding him close knowing the answer already. “As long as we watch Princess and the frog next,” Mason replied, making you giggle. You helped him grab the cookies and pour milk into glasses to take upstairs. Mason grabbed the blankets and laptop and set them up on his bed.

“I love you princess. My soulmate indeed forever,” Mason said to towards to you, who had fallen asleep close to the end of Princess and the Frog. He pulled shut off the screen and put the laptop aside snuggling you closer to his chest, tucking your hair behind your ear and kissing you temple.

“My evangeline.”

ynusername posted on their instagram story!

masonmount posted to their instagram story!

[lover-also-fighter-also]

BIRTHDAY SURPRISES

Fandom: High School Story (Original Trilogy) Pairings: Maria Flores x Ria Monero (My female HSS MC) Characters: Maria Flores, Ria Monero Rating: G Tags: Fluff, kissing, future timeline, post series events Summary: Its Ria's first birthday after she moved to college, and did not expect anything big to happen, but she was wrong. A/N: I had wanted to write a fic for Ria's birthday (which is today), and I was really short on ideas for how to implement it. Also, this is the first time I'm writing a fully fledged fanfiction, so please bear with me if there are any spelling or grammatical mistakes. Hope you enjoy reading it!

Tagging @choicesficwriterscreations for this work!

7th September, 2019

It was Ria's first month at NYU, and so far everything has been a huge change for her. Sure she had great roommate, enjoyed her classes, and was happy overall, but she couldn't help but miss Berry High, her friends, and most importantly, Maria. She lay on her bed, wearing a Terman U hoodie that she "borrowed" from Maria before she left for college and a pair of trackpants, just scrolling through her old photos, when she received a text message from her roommate, Maddie. She reminded Ria of Myra sometimes, with how infectious her energy was.

Maddie: RIA COME DOWN!!

Ria: whyy??

Maddie: JUST PLEASE COME DOWN. SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED!

Ria: Okay, okay. I'm on my way.

Reluctantly, she rolled out of bed, and rushed down the stairs where she saw Maddie bouncing with excitement. 'Okay Maddie, what was so urgent that you had to kick me out of bed when I was too comfortable?' said Ria folding her arms.

'Look behind you, slowly.' said Maddie, trying to contain her smile. Ria slowly turned around, and she couldn't believe who she saw.

It was Maria! She was standing a few feet away, grinning at Ria and gave a small wave. Ria could only stare at her, dumbfounded, not able to move for a few moments, till Maria said, 'What? Don't I get a hi?' Ria's knees buckled and she ran up to Maria, wrapping her arms around her and nuzzling her neck. Maria laughs, returning the hug, and lifts Ria a little off the ground.

'If I knew I was going to receive such an enthusiastic welcome, I would have come a lot sooner,' said Maris still holding Ria. Ria could not hold back on her tears and let them freely fall before saying 'I cannot believe you flew all the way across the country, just for me.'

'Of course babe. You deserve the best. I just figured that a simple video call was not going to suffice, so I thought that - ', Maria was cut off from whatever she was going to say next by a sweet kiss which lasted for a few moments till they pulled back.

'This is seriously the best birthday surprise ever!' said Ria, unable to control her happiness. 'Then go ahead and get ready, because we are going out right now.' said Maria, her eyes shining with excitement.

An hour later, they were at the Times Square, exploring the place, when Paper Rings started playing from some of the performers on the street.

I like shiny things, but I marry you in paper rings, uh huh, that's right

They looked at each other in the eyes, their hands reaching out for each other

Darling, you're the one I want

Maria pulled Ria towards her, slowly dancing to the beat

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this, uh huh, that's right

Ria spun Maria around and dipped her with renewed enthusiasm.

Darling, you're the one I want

They held each other, and time seemed to slow down around them.

'I love you, Pumpkin.' whispered Ria, 'just coming all the way here, that's the best gift anyone's ever given me.'

'I love you too baby, you will always get the best from me.' Maria whispered back, giving a peck on her forehead.

[bhaal-battle-beer-bard]

A Moment Of Truth

Your hand, your skin, each of your fingers Just the illusion, the hint of a touch from you sends me to heaven Makes me wretched thing being the heaven closer than ever before, than I ever thought possible But if your hand only touches me, while your heart doesn't feel me, I never want to be touched again If I'm just anyone, Then I'd rather be nobody to you To anyone Will I ever be someone to anyone? Something more? Possibly everything? The One? Like they call it… You seem a million miles away You say "Don't worry, it's nothing. I'm just holding back." Then why can't I feel you? How long can we maintain in this shaky star construct of lies? Your cold body doesn't make me shiver, but your cold, untouched heart does I don't want you to feel me only somehow or other, That I'm anyone, like everyone else, a meaningless body in a faceless crowd If you don't feel me in your heart, then I'll give up touching you forever

If I'm just anybody to you, in the end I'm nobody, Then I don't want to be at all Because to me you are everything The One & Only Forever If you don't see who I am and don't let me see who you are, Then I'll give up on us Just the hint of a touch and more the wisp of a fading memory In the end everything breaks And only tears remain when your lies come to light With you I taste life and breathe the air of being But it is only doomed to end like everything else Nothing lasts forever and it will break Should we live a lie? Isn't each one a sweet lie and sin? Why does the truth have to hurt so much? Or was it the lies from the start? When your construct of lies collapses and only ashes remain of your empire of lies, Was it worth it? Just one honest word from you would be enough... Just one word... Let me go or fight forever and stay by your side Say something, why can't I hear you? Your voice is so quiet when it's trying to break through a hurricane But I'm here Believe me, I am here to hold your hand If you look through the veil of your pain, you will see that I am not far away and all you have to do is reach out your hand and take mine There is no hurricane. No storm. No cutting winds. No pain. We can argue and shout, And run away from each other, bickering and insulting, But when you hold me in your arms at the end of the day to fall asleep, kissing my forehead, Then I know I'm yours Because you are mine The One The Only Forever And then it's worth it Worth it all I'm not nobody, And even if I'm invisible to everyone else, a ghost in the faceless crowd, It doesn’t matter, because I'm somebody to you So you stand still And you and I face each other Eye to eye And you see me You see who I am And I see who you are For who you truly are In this breath of life, In this moment of truth

➹word count: 554

➹🎶 listening 🎶while reading

➹ "Kissing every one of your ridges" Aftermath - Tav thinking about Astarion after his reveal that sleeping with them was only a trick&bad habbit; or also Astarion thinking about Tav? Or see it as dialogue of the thoughts of Tav and Astarion, interpret it in every way that pleases you

➹pictures: all of course by the talented aristenfromwarsaw on tumblr; her pics of Astarion&Aristen reminded me so much of “Firefly” from Breaking Benjamin, that I started to listening to them non stop again and their songs inspired sad emotional writing as tribute to their words&music

➹a/n: Normally my Astarion&Tav Saulus pairing is not so dramatic. Their dynamic is full of shenanigans and fun like “Dare you”-games to bring Lae`zel to lick things or Saulus dancing the stupidest most unerotic revue dance with Sceleritas' hat on to distract enemies with Astarion to say “I am the only man you will ever dance this for again!”

But listening to(o much) Breaking Benjamin again brought me in my old writing patterns because of the writing vibing and mood from back then.

So it is possible that there is more overtheatrical, dramatic, deep emotional poetry coming.

[sibunamoments]

Warning: Not a native speaker. Long read.

"We must not take our eyes off Patricia."

Perhaps he didn't just take it seriously. He even took it a little too seriously.

— Patricia, wait for me, let's go together. I'm going to pick up my bag. — a light casual kiss on the forehead before Eddie disappears through the living room doors. Shaking her head, the girl smiled at her own thoughts: It turns out that she missed his presence in her life so much. Not in the general Sibun business, not in the hustle and bustle of school, but in her space, personal and so ... protected from others.

His superhero ego had been especially pronounced lately, but the fact that it was directed at her couldn't help but flatter. After all, a few months of watching him take care of KT felt like a real torture. The creature inside, which had been hissing and growling viciously all this time, was now purring affectionately, curled up in a warm ball somewhere below the navel. And suddenly she wanted to make a lot less nonsense, by the way.

A warm palm landed on the girl's waist, and the very feeling made a smile stretch across her face. Looking up at Miller, she seemed to see and feel him in a different way: tenderness, so unusual, suddenly rose in her, giving way to a kind of tremor. There was definitely no such thing before, is this really what they call growing up?

Her hand spontaneously reached out to the guy's dark, coarse hair that fell between her fingers, and Patricia tilted her head, catching his interested gaze.

— I'm happy that you're here. — She just said. Simply and sincerely, as if finally accepting his vulnerability to his own feelings and denying shame for them.

Eddie did not deny himself the pleasure of a kiss, dragging the girl on this fleeting journey. At such moments, he suddenly managed to disconnect from the worries that were now overwhelming him more and more by the minute. The pressure seemed to only increase, depriving air and not allowing it to be (or stay) that easy-going, funny guy with crazy ideas and a really easy attitude to life.

Although now everything seemed to be different in principle: their relationship to each other was filled with a special value, weight, awareness of choice. And for some reason, this whole story with the resurrected scientist seemed to only contribute to this, making them cherish every moment when their minds are not involved in solving riddles and problems, and there is no age-old dust from another crypt in their lungs. And Eddie promised himself that as soon as they were done with this madness, he would take her far away. And hide her from everyone and everything, for sure.

Yes, the vision of his girlfriend being dragged into the dark scared Eddison. It didn't excite, it didn't add fire, but it really scared him, driving him into an icy stupor. Anyone but her, no matter how it sounds. Not her. He won't be able to cope if something happens to her, he won't even try to fix this whole cataclysm if she gets hurt. To hell with it.

Eddie will be there to keep her safe. From whatever it is.

— Heu, stop this stream of thoughts in your head, at least for a minute. She whispered in his ear before another meeting in the break room. They had been waiting for the guys since lunch, quietly lounging on one of the sofas. His palm rested on the girl's sharp knee, and her fingers were fingering the strings of his braided bracelet, and this picture in itself evoked a feeling of calm.

He couldn't help but touch her. She couldn't be at a distance (read: not even a meter) from him. It seemed that now it became like their little secret language — constantly feeling each other, saying with barely noticeable movements: "It's okay, I'm here with you" or "I need your support." Holding hands at general meetings, drawing simple drawings on exposed areas of skin, touching shoulders at breakfasts and dinners, hugging each other from behind along the way, even from the craziest "run" into a house with a gate… It was as if it was already at the level of reflexes, as when Eddie instinctively takes her behind his back at the slightest danger.

— I'm fine. He moved closer to her face, running the tip of his nose over her warm cheek. — There's just so much going on. Don't worry about me. Having said that, he grinned and suddenly blew into her face, which made the girl laugh.

It defused the situation a bit. The girl was theatrically indignant, immediately grabbing Sweet's face with both hands to kiss him right on the grinning lips.

— What a fool you are! Patricia only whispered, staying extremely close to the young man. Exactly until they were distracted by Alfie, who appeared, stormily telling something and gesturing brightly.

The colleagues who came up and active discussions about the next step of the evil team captivated everyone, the high stakes of everything that was happening made the heart beat faster, and the mind feverishly pondered and threw ideas. But Eddie knew that his priority would always be this bright girl, who was now gently fingering his fingers anyway, while furiously discussing one of Katie's proposed schemes.

He really won't take his eyes off her. He just won't be able to.

[hunter-sylvester]

How do you feel about people shipping Kevin, Hunter, and Emily together? Like a polyamorous relationship.

Hey, Anon 🤘

I won't lie, Polyflower is not for me. (Polyflower = Kevin/Hunter/Emily as a couple. At least that's what I've seen some people call it and it made sense to me so it's what I call it too.)

As for how I feel about other people shipping it? I don't really care. I would never want to tell other people what they can and cannot ship. It's all live and let live as far as I'm concerned.

It's also not as much of an "ick" for me as some things are, but I do tend to avoid fics that have polyflower in them because I just don't personally enjoy it.

I wouldn't typically focus on the stuff I don't like but since you asked I'll briefly mention where my hangups are.

I do want to stress that this is all my personal hangups/opinion. I am not trying to shit on what anybody else likes.

So there's mainly two points where it misses for me.

Point 1: I don't see the attraction between Hunter & Emily. At all. I tend to hc him as gay but even if I hc him as multisexual in some way, I just can't see it working with Emily. (I know the ship is about all 3 of them but the Hunter/Emily part is where I have the issue if that makes sense. Like regardless of Kevin, I can't see the other two being into each other.)

I think I've seen some people point to this moment as showing there being something from Hunter towards Emily:

Which like...I almost get it but not quite?? It could just be my bias because I see it in his eyes when he looks at Kevin but here I just ultimately do not. I think he's looking at her like: "damn, she looks badass." And she does. She looks cool. In my opinion he's impressed by her but not like...swooning or anything, you know?

Altho don't get me started on people interpreting THIS look as attraction. I do think that's a little silly, personally. He's got nothing but contempt in his eyes here imo

Boy is grinding his teeth in quiet disdain. We can see the start of a fucking sneer. The camera cuts to Emily and when it cuts back to Hunter THIS is the face he's making:

Like idk about other people but that's not a look I'd give someone I'm in any way into.

But even if we put what Hunter would want aside...I can't see Emily being into him either?? It just doesn't mesh for me. Not in that way at least.

Like I can see them being close, for sure. Some of the WIPs I'm working on involve more of Hunter & Emily's friendship post-canon, like more stuff about them all as a band. And I can see them having a relationship that is close and involves like hugging and stuff like the occasional forehead kiss or something but it'd never be romantic to me.

It fundamentally just doesn't click for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Point 2: This is the one I really don't want anyone to misunderstand. Because it is not in any way something that applies to my thoughts or feelings on what anyone else does in their real life. Like when I say something doesn't appeal to me or I don't 'get' it, that's just a personal thing. It doesn't mean I think it's in any way bad or silly or whatever. IRL or in fandom. This is just my personal preference.

Group-relationship style polyamory doesn't appeal to me.

Like, polyamory actually does appeal to me, but just not in that way?? I like the concept of having multiple 1 on 1 relationships at the same time if that makes sense??

But on a core personal level I don't get the appeal of 1 relationship consisting of 3+ people. I don't know WHY it doesn't click for me but it just doesn't.

So it doesn't really appeal to me to read or write about it either.

TL;DR: While it's definitely not for me, I really don't care if other people like it & ship it. We all like what we like and don't what we don't. It's just not something I've really been interested in exploring myself.

Thank you for asking, Anon 🤘

[elvisabutler]

it's an apology house

summary: being a part of elvis's memphis mafia for years honestly has taken a bit of a toll on you and your partner. as it turns out, him and jerry make it up to you. fandom: luke bracey | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t pairing: jerry schilling x gn reader word count: 1215 warning: use of the nickname kitten. injury to one mr. schilling. elvis being elvis. talk of exhaustion. author's note: so consider this a valentines sequel to my kinktober pieces 1 and 2 with jerry. you don't have to read the kinktober pieces or the christmas piece for this ( click the tag and you'll find it ) to make sense because it kind of stands on its own. and yes elvis really did buy jerry his house in california and to this day jerry actually lives in it. the fact that he does will make me cry until the end of time i swear. obligatory this is for @blurredcolour mention because hey i did say i wouldn't forget these two.

"Your arm is broken and you're telling me to calm down? The doctor said six weeks on the low side and I'm supposed to not want to murder EP." You can't help the way your voice raises an octave the more you look at how in pain Jerry looks. "It's Valentines and we spent half of it in the ER. I was planning on-"

"Kitten." Jerry's voice sounds so exhausted that you have a hard time keeping up your anger, the worry you feel for him overriding damn near everything else. "I- He didn't mean to do it- We didn't mean for it to happen. You know how he gets. Meant to reel him in and got he busted my arm. We'll celebrate tomorrow."

"That's not the point, Jerry. That's never been the point. I know he doesn't care because he can throw Linda something fun or shower her in something that makes up for everything but- do you know how terrifying it is to have Red calling me and Joe and Lamar and everyone as soon as I hung up the phone with each of them. I thought-"

"You're working yourself up." He cuts you off again, knowing that he can't give you exactly what you need in that moment. Knowing that you require a certain touch that the pain medication is dulling and shoving under a haze. "Come here." He uses his healthy arm to pat the couch's open spot next to him. "Sit next to me." He looks to see you still standing far too far away looking just as angry as you had been. "Please, Y/N? I can't- I'm not about to drag you over here."

One day you might be able to resist him, one day you might be able to tell him to shove it because you're not at his beck and call but today isn't that day. Today is the day when you sit by your partner and make a move to snuggle against him and frown. "This is why I want to get out, you know. Why I want to quit. Why we both should."

A hum is the answer only answer you get back as you and Jerry stare at the television screen plays something neither of you are paying too much attention to. "We can't both leave at once- anyone get back to you about-"

You shake your head, squeezing his hand before running your thumb over his wedding ring. "No. We can't all be in demand, Jer."

There's a hint of jealousy before he kisses your forehead. "They just think I did all the work. You're gonna find something but in the meantime- he's willing to let you stay. I know he would. And he might. He might have given me something of a bribe to convince at least one of us to stay."

"A bribe. I know he calls us a Mafia but that's a bit much." You try to joke only to look up at Jerry and see just how serious his face is. "What- What was it?"

"It not- A bribe might have been the wrong word. Especially after today. It's more of an apology present for you. Just a thank you for me and him trying to do right by me." Jerry continues to dance around telling you what it is and for a brief moment you consider making his broken arm worse to get him to focus and tell you just what he's talking about. "I actually meant to show you it today. It was going to be a nice set up, maybe a picnic."

"Jerry Schilling." You squeeze his hand in yours as you say part of his full name to get his attention before frowning. "What was it? Don't leave me in-"

"He bought us a house." The words come out in a bit of a rush before he elaborates, seeing how you're doing a fair imitation of a fish. "He bought it because I've- you know the story behind my life, Kitten. I've never really had a place to call home."

"So he bought you a house." You try and keep your tone level but the shock colors it no matter what you do. "Are you sure your pain medication isn't-"

Jerry shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "He bought us a house. Told me to settle in it if I wanted. Put down proper roots like he kinda has with Graceland." You both share a look before he shrugs. "I think that's the best permission he's going to give me to actually leave, Kitten."

You stare at Jerry for a long time, trying to figure out what to say, how to react to what he's said to you before you finally bite your lip. "We can actually make a home? We decorate and do gardening and all those stupid little things." We can fill it with stuff that's just ours is what goes unsaid. We can be just ourselves there is what goes unsaid. So much just goes unsaid that you just have to look at Jerry when you're silent.

"It's ours, so we can do whatever we want. We can grow old there. Love Memphis but LA could do us so much good." He says that part a little quieter like he's scared to admit it. "It was supposed to be your gift for Valentines."

The grin that forms on your face could light up the entire East Coast if you asked Jerry while he looked at it. He thinks maybe this is a good apology gift even if Elvis didn't intend it that way. "We could still make it my gift."

Jerry can't help but raise an eyebrow and tilt his head. "What are you planning?"

You don't answer as you move to go use the phone, leaving Jerry to worry just what shenanigans he has essentially allowed you to do. It's another ten minutes before you return to him, looking positively giddy. "Get up. We're going to our house so I can see what horrible taste Elvis is trying to pass on to us."

Jerry stays on the couch for a moment before he holds out his good arm for you to pull up. "It's not that bad, and you don't know where it is."

"But Lamar does. And Red does and a lot of people do." You pause. "It's not going to be the California house for the Mafia. But, I can whip up some snacks and E owes me for today. I want to see our house and we're going to go do that right now."

There's a moment where Jerry looks like he's going to argue with you before he shakes his head and instead uses his good hand to pull you in for a kiss, gentle as can be before nuzzling at your nose. "Let me grab a sleeping bag and we could just sleep in it overnight. If that sounds like a good Valentines date to you."

You can't help but laugh. "Why Mr. Schilling, that sounds perfect. Not as good as my original plans, but I suppose I can live with it for you. Since I love you that much." You slap his ass gently. "Go on, go grab it."

"Aye aye, Kitten."

taglist: @rosepresley, @floralcyanide

[having-conniptions]

Love In The Air episode 10 live reaction under the cut (long post)

Listen I know no one reads these but they make the experience more enjoyable for me. It helps me understand what's going on, keeps me from zoning out and usually makes me notice more details that turn into theories and predictions IT'S SO MUCH FUN

What I love most about the PrapaiSky arc is Sky. Just... Sky.

"My boyfriend's sick." HE'S NOT YOUR BF but yeah I get it your dad wouldn't give you time off because your crush is sick lmao

Oh no he had a nightmare while Pai was there 😭

Fuck that hurts. I'm gonna go beat up whoever did this to Sky and I have a feeling P'Pai is coming with me

Prapai do not even joke about that DO NOT ughhh why is he so insensitive sometimes

And then he's so gentle and sweet again aaaaaa

AND SKY STARTS ACCEPTING HIS HELP, BELIEVING THAT HE'S SERIOUS ABOUT IT 😭❤️

And they're holding hands while sleeping so Sky can feel safe and protected 😭❤️😭❤️

But Sky is still a tsundere / not admitting to himself and to Prapai that he's starting to like him

"You know what I want." - "No, I won't have sex with you." - "So you don't know what I want." THIS EXCHANGE >>>>> Sky needs to understand what Pai sees in him 😭❤️

"I won't like you" *proceeds to smile to himself the second Prapai has left* WHO YOU TRYNA FOOL BOY

THE WAY HE WADDLED TO THE DOOR MY CUTE LITTLE PENGUIN

PRAPAI'S SURPRISED LITTLE FACE AAAA

"I don't like owing anyone" yeah right that's why 😉

My baby is so giggly and giddy but I know he's also so so scared that's why he still pretends he's not interested

It's not that he's not interested it's that he's scared of what will happen when he shows genuine interest because showing someone that you're interested in them always gives them some sort of power over you so you need to trust them first - especially if you've gone through whatever happened to Sky

Another race awww yeah lemme see Prapai in his racing suit again please

Ooooo the guy in the beige sweater is really pretty

That fucking chicken song again lmaooo

OH HI P'PAI

So soft 😭 right up until the "you should be spanked" comment brooo 😂

PRAPAI PRESSING HIS LIPS TO SKY'S FOREHEAD BUT NOT KISSING HIM AAAAA 😭❤️❤️

And Sky's little smile as he thanks Prapai, and Pai softly kissing his hair aaaaaaa

So far PrapaiSky has not been what I expected (though I did figure out pretty early on that they hooked up) but the soft cuddles are definitely getting to me

Great to see Sky feeling better in the morning <3

And PhayuRain being cute <3<3

Tsundere time again here we go lol

His face when Pai told him to smile tho

Awww those girls were adorable

SKY'S SMILE!!!! AAAAA I CAN'T HE'S SO CUTE PRAPAI ALMOST DIES INSTANTLY

And Sky actually gets a little worried hahahaha

Pai's like "I can't believe I'm about to do this" HE'S GONNA KISS HIM

Aw shucks

But yeah he's waiting for Sky to kiss him we love to see it

"Why the heck am I watching a sleeping boy?" LOVE, BITCH

PAI ALMOST KISSING SKY BUT KEEPING HIS SELF-CONTROL, SKY REALIZING HE WANTED PRAPAI TO KISS HIM 🤯🤯🤯

He agreed to go on a date with him and he's all smiley and happy and he's playfully teasing him aaaaa Sky deserves the world

Wow Pai really hasn't been with anyone in two months because of Sky huh

Joy I love you but please stop spreading rumors hahaha

The back and forth in this episode is everything

Bro I'd be so mad if I was trying to focus and someone just stared over my shoulder the entire time

The shoulder kiss 🥰🥰

LMAO SKY AND HIS KNIFE I CAN'T

What is he writing? 👀

Drawing on each other's hands aaaawww 😭❤️

He was so focused he didn't even notice Pai got them dinner

Prapai describing his siblings but actually describing himself lmao

Sky: "Don't call me Nong Sky, it sounds fake" Prapai: "Sky." Sky: *ba-dump*

That almost-kiss and "I'll wait until you're ready" I'M ABOUT TO THROW SOMETHING THEY WERE SO CLOSE

Back to tsundere but we know he's just teasing now because even if he trusts Pai now he's too proud to just give in

THE WAY THEY BOTH LOOK AT THEIR HANDS AWWWW

Bro who sleeps with the lights on

Bonus scene: Pai googling how to take care of Sky because he wants to do everything right 😭❤️ and then he called his mom to ask her for advice awwww 😭❤️ and Sky was taking notes on Prapai bc he wanted to get to know him better? HOW CUTE IS THAT

[kajordi]

I Demand to See the Ambassador Story

I DEMAND TO SEE THE AMBASSADOR - read the sign written in beautiful Mkhedruli alphabet, the ancient characters of the Georgian language are delectable and readable to only around 4 million people worldwide. I deciphered the message in less than the 5 steps it took me to walk past it, thanks, in part, to my remarkable ability to read the English translation below it. The man and his two companions held the sign near the impenetrable US Embassy.  My usual curiosity compels me to engage them. What serious issue requires such a demand? My 10 minutes remaining lunch break prevents me from satisfying my inquisitive nature.

I wish people would stop and think about persuasive communication for a bit. Your wife surely loves you, right? How would it go if next time you need to talk about something important you begin with: Wife, I demand you listen to me! Wouldn’t, please give me a minute dear, be far more conducive? 

I enter my dad’s office as I would any other room at home. I announce myself and greet everyone with a hello and a smile. Then quietly sit down and wait on him. I get pacy then sleepy from waiting. My ass hurts after 45 minutes on the darn wooden bench, which, I'm convinced, dad chose brilliantly for the purpose of shortening meetings. I don’t mind waiting. My father is an important man with 900 people under his management. Well, he and the group of cousins. Not anyone has access to my dad. Had it been our trustworthy Olivio, it would have taken him a 5-hour trip to see him and probably an additional four waiting on him to go back feeling very grateful and accomplished in securing some medical treatment favor. I, on the other hand, have access to dad and I am his top priority.

I met the Ambassador the day before. I didn’t recognize her. She was so friendly and interested in me that I felt okay to casually sit by her and chat. The exchange was so delightful that I wanted to remember her name, so I asked someone nearby. That’s when I realized that I had spoken to someone powerful and important. 

I hear President Biden may go down in history as one of America’s great presidents. The complaints against him are rather of being far too personable and treating strangers like dear friends: He spoke too close to me, put his arms on my shoulders, kissed my forehead-type of grievances. I can easily imagine talking about my kids with him as I did with my honorable Ambassador. But this, I will not have the chance to. Biden is an important man. And while I have no doubt he would show interest in our chat, he has a crushing weight of responsibilities to attend to and not enough lifetimes to deal with them.

Pondering about access to powerful people I came to think about the Creator whom I affectionately call Heavenly Father. How many times have I demanded action from Him? He didn’t smack me for my impertinence as my own dad would have. At most, He ignored me a bit. Would it not be more favorable for me to try to be a little more persuasive? To humbly ask for an audience that I don’t deserve based on my bargaining power or merit and show some gratitude for it? 

Then I thought about my friend George, whom I had the pleasure of seeing recently after a couple of years. George says he no longer believes in God. It made me a bit sad. I doubt my sign holder thought about preparing a manifesto or communique to deliver to the Embassy. They would have taken it. I’m pleased my sign holder believes the Ambassador exists and has the power to do something about his situation. Whether my friend George believes in God or not, God can do something about his needs. Whether George notices it, or not, God is pulling strings to his benefit. Yet some people tend to find favor among men. They’ve figured something out. And a further yet, there are a few people that seem to find high levels of favor with God. It would be good for us to figure this one out.

[yuriko-mukami]

Im curious! How did Ruki seduce you?

This answer is based on the Rukiko RP story as always since anyone can read the canon version if they want. There are slight differences between the canon story and Rukiko.

"Umh... well... It happened kind of... You know, at first, I was really scared. He acted so rudely and even bit me without my... consent. Not that I would have given that in the beginning if he had asked. Anyway... there were other moments too. He was so interested in literature, much more than anyone ever before. He wanted to talk about books with me and was curious about my thoughts. That was so... different from what I had been used to. He even invited me to meet him in a cafe one Saturday, just so that we could talk in peace. That was very sweet of him... I think that was the first step."

"Then... Ruki gifted me with chocolate chip cookies. Okay... he said he had made too much and that's why... But it didn't matter. No one had ever given me cookies before. And they were so tasty! ... ... ... Umh... a bit later..."

On the same day but maybe I shouldn't mention that detail...

"...well... Something bad happened. I was really afraid... and in bad... condition. Ruki... he took me in their manor and let me rest in his bed. He made vegetable soup. Just for me. I always made meals at home back then... and that had been going on for years. Suddenly, there was someone who took care of me and cooked for me. Like... that was such a gesture of... umh... adornment?"

"Anyway... things proceed. Ruki... he promised to bite me gentler if I would give my blood willingly... and then he promised not to leave me. Everyone always... always left. But he said he would not. So far, he has kept this promise. He kissed my forehead and called me his very own, talking about a new world he would show me. Again, no one ever... had given me such commitment."

But then there were rough times... And the full moon... Oh gosh!

"Erh... well... ahem... Something... happened on the full moon night. Ruki did and said something... but... but... then he pulled back! And he apologized later and made me more soup too. I'm sure he simply struggled with himself back then. He didn't mean anything bad... right?"

...and... well... actually... I was a bit disappointed that he didn't go further that night...

"Later... Ruki invited me to their manor to talk about books again. Kou-kun... he joked about taking my blood. Ruki got so angry at him. It made me think... Maybe he really wished to keep me? And a bit later... in his library... He told me... how he could make me truly his own. He... he kissed me... properly, not just on my forehead... He said that I have made him my prisoner for all his thoughts are about me.. and then... then... well... He made sure that I... became his..."

"So... that's how it happened..."

@ruki-mukami-dl

[dinoveryvery]

glimpse: dr. park Sunghoon's unbreakable when it comes to skill, dedication, and work ethic; meanwhile, you jump between part-time jobs for the fun of it. he's just trying his best to look out for you — too bad he sucks at it. (spin-off to take five!)

alternatively, you're friends with benefits with Sunghoon and you always kiss him on the cheek before he leaves — but one day you stop.

[ mutual pining, 30% angst (there is Redemption I Swear), smut, fluff n wholesomeness, Sunghoon's rude + out of touch towards ppl outside of his tax bracket for a hot minute, minor injuries (dog bites n scratches, bruises, blood, etc.) sustained from part-time jobs ]

notes: inspired by workman on youtube!! you don't necessarily have to watch it in order to read this <3 a lot of people told me they started watching hospital playlist after reading take five, so i'm doing the same with this to try and convert u into my emotional clutch shows agenda :D also a reminder that i am in no way making fun of any of the jobs mentioned below!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my ask box anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)

It's not easy to throw Sunghoon off.

Simply to say, his tolerance is as good as boundless. He just continuously endures and although it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s passive, he just chooses to let things slide. He, of all people, would know that constantly furrowing your brows speeds up one’s wrinkling process. It’s not like Sunghoon doesn’t care enough — it’s just that he’s almost always unfazed.

He remains calm and doesn’t yell any louder than necessary when he’s dragged into haunted houses and escape rooms. If he was being blunt, he’d say that anyone who willingly puts themselves through it and screams bloody murder, must have never learned about the concept of cause and effect. You pay to get scared and in turn would go through the experience, and you still have the nerve to be surprised about it?

Tiny internal rant aside, Sunghoon is still calm.

He's patient with pranks and laughs it off, no matter how impractical they could be. It’s as impractical as his parents spending two hours in the crack of dawn to fill up his room with balloons on his 15th birthday, and it is a little lame, but Sunghoon isn’t heartless — of course he wakes up laughing! The little stretches of his genuine laughter outweighs his knowledge that he had been hearing latex squeaking since two hours ago.

All throughout their medical careers, if Dr. Min is known to be patient, then Dr. Park is known to be a saint. He was the junior that every senior wanted to tuck under their wing, and the senior that every junior wanted to bag with them. There was a time in their fellowship when Jay kept replacing Sunghoon's stethoscope with a toy version of it right when he was about to do rounds, for a whole week, and the most reaction he got was a flick to the forehead at the end (read: surrender) of his prank.

Sunghoon’s just so unbothered to the point that it’s unnerving.

He’s not exactly clueless with the way that the people in his life still strive to throw him curveballs; in fact, it’s amusing.

Was it annoying that Jay moved every piece of furniture in the clinic two inches to the right to try and grit at his co-owner’s gears? Yeah. Was it fulfilling to pretend that he didn’t keep bumping his hip into table corners and mess up his depth perception, just for the sake of frustrating Jay? Completely.

Sure, it did tick his nerves a little when Heeseung kept paging him into the lobby, only for the receptionist to tell him that he didn’t call his name. It must have gone for only ten times, and the only reason Sunghoon went for the previous nine was because he wanted to save face! What would the dozens of clients in the lobby think when their doctor doesn’t come when asked for?

Jay is far from giving up.

Heeseung is long done.

The latter is what completely confuses Sunghoon.

Sunghoon had never been caught off-guard this badly and when it happened, he tried to reel himself in the moment he came back to his car.

It's when he's getting dressed to leave after the best, most fulfilling, and only sex he's had in a long while, making conversation with you while he makes himself coffee to drink while driving back home.

Sunghoon thought that since you’re Heeseung’s friend, he must’ve put you to the task. It’s not that far off to think that for the three months you’ve been fucking, all of it was his friend’s plan to throw him out of his rhythm.

What’s more confusing, is that he’s beyond certain that what you did was sincerely done out of your own accord. No one dear to him could faze him to this extent.

But you? You throw Sunghoon off.

You do it in such a genuine yet nonchalant way that Sunghoon thinks he must’ve conjured the whole scenario in his head at one point. 

It’s surreal to think about because you lean into him with ease, a gentle hold on his forearm as if he just didn’t blow your back out minutes ago.

All of his senses shut down and the remaining control he has left is all used into squeaking a goodbye, speed-walking out of your door and holding his breath until he reaches his car.

He’s far from calm and he’s the furthest thing from collected. There’s no reasonable explanation to anything that happened in the last two minutes, and that’s as far as his mind could go.

You kissed Sunghoon on the cheek.

( ♡ )

Did Sunghoon lose sleep over you kissing him on the cheek? Without a doubt. He’s been jumpy since this morning and it’s beginning to startle everyone in the clinic — everyone.

A while ago, Jay was being observant and good-natured as usual. Naturally, he tried pointing out to Sunghoon that he saw a pimple forming on his cheek. He only poked it for the sake of locating it, and he was just about to offer to treat it for him, when Sunghoon jumped two feet away from him the moment his cheek (the one you kissed) was touched.

True enough, there is a pimple forming and with abrupt agreements, Sunghoon told Jay to do his magic with it the moment he gets a break. He did wear a mask to try and avoid unnecessary attention, but of course someone just had to startle him even more.

“Ah, you look sleazy with that mask on. Kisses? Really?” Heeseung squinted his eyes, unaware of the way Sunghoon’s eyes bulged in panic. All he cares about is sitting on the comfiest chair in the breakroom and eating his lunch, but that plan’s steadily bound to be overthrown.

He’s pointing to the pattern of kisses on his face mask, a spare stock of what all the staff wore back for valentine’s day. Heeseung knows that he’s pertaining to the design, but Sunghoon clearly doesn’t.

“Y-you know?” he mutters under his breath, caught breathless in a situation he’s unsure of whether or not it favors him. To his surprise, Heeseung has an inkling that they’re not on the same wavelength at the moment.

Not at all.

“What do I know?” Heeseung tilts his head, still grasping at nothing with how Sunghoon’s now doubting him.

“Are you faking?” Sunghoon counters, swallowing the lump on his throat. They’re literally going nowhere and he wants to get somewhere at least before the day ends, at least starting off with someone who knows you better than him. “Listen, what if we both say what we think we’re talking about at the same time?”

It’s a half-baked idea but Heeseung just shrugs it off, saying the first thing that came to his mind the moment Sunghoon started counting down.

“Aren’t we talking about your pimples?”

“You know that Y/N kissed me?”

Heeseung groans in annoyance at the instance the words leave his friend, putting his head on his hands to try and shrug the image off his brain.

Sure, he has an inkling that the two of you looked at each other a little too suggestively for your first meeting. He introduced you to Sunghoon when you came into the clinic bearing his homemade birthday lunch (one that you’ve been making yearly for him the past five years), and it’s not like he regrets introducing you! Both you and Sunghoon are good people; he just didn’t want to know too much information.

"Gross. Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear about your sex life with my friend."

"But she kissed me," Sunghoon half-whispers and half-whines, gripping into Heeseung’s arm as if it was his lifeline. The receptionist doesn’t budge him off, but his furrowed brows are telling enough that he wants the conversation to be over soon.

"Okay...? What do you want me to say to that?"

Sunghoon grows exasperated, tempted to throw a tantrum as he runs his hand through his hair.

"Heeseung, I meant she kissed me in like, a lover way and not a friends-with-benefits type of way!"

There’s obviously too much information being shared with yours and Sunghoon’s mutual friend, and mutual friend does not like it, but said mutual friend now knows too much to the point that he’s invested.

Heeseung pauses his eating, blinking slowly with no malice peeking from his tone.

"But don't you like Y/N in a lover way?"

Sunghoon’s not mad that Heeseung’s caught on to him this quickly, the emotion isn’t even in his vocabulary when it comes to you. It’s just that he’s torn and confused and wary — all the other three feelings that he despises going through.

"Yeah but like not completely, y’know? I still said I was unsure if I really do have those feelings for her," he admits with a shake of his head, his cheeks puffing in a sigh out of recollection about what he was really discussing. “A cheek kiss! She kissed me on the cheek before I went out of the door."

"Again, Sunghoon," his friend rolls his eyes, setting down his chopsticks after a large bite because he knows the younger won’t stop talking anytime soon. "What do you want me to say?"

Sunghoon curlsquirks his lips to the side, looking down on his lap. What does he want Heeseung, a friend to you first and a friend to him second, to say? He doesn’t necessarily know if he wants him to hyper-analyze your actions. He can’t tell if he wants advice. He’s unsure if he wants to be reassured.

He goes with the first question that pops into his head, no matter how blunt it sounds.

"Don't you find it weird? Who kisses the guy they fuck on the cheek after sex?"

Now that he phrases it that way, Heeseung sighs deeply, shaking his head in passing. Quite frankly, even he doesn’t know what to say to that.

"Dunno. Never happened to me before," he shrugs his shoulders, waving his hand off to further prove his upcoming input. "Calm down. It's probably nothing."

"But it's something!" Sunghoon rebutts, eyes widening now that he realizes that the reassurance he wanted to hear does not comfort him at all.

"Well now you sound like you want it to be something,” Heeseung snorts, electively humming to provide background music to Sunghoon’s mini meltdown.

"Why would she kiss me on the cheek?"

"Eh. She kisses me on the cheek too,” he says as a matter of fact, thinking that the tidbit of information is gonna help calm his friend’s nerves down and stronghold him into letting him eat without interruption.

Sunghoon narrows his eyes, a quiet scoff leaving his lips as he crosses his arms.

"Why would she kiss you on the cheek?"

"Now you're just jealous."

Heeseung stares Sunghoon down and the look of emotional constipation on the latter’s face makes him hiccup, making the former chuckle while raising his hands in surrender.

"God, I don't know! Friends can kiss each other on the cheek, Y/N's affectionate like that. Don't think too much of it."

Right. Of course Heeseung’s right!

Friends kiss each other on the cheek all the time and it just so happens that your love language is physical touch and affection. It all just happens to be and you don’t actively make it happen.

That’s probably the answer that Sunghoon of five minutes ago would’ve wanted to hear, but the Sunghoon of now is unsatisfied, the plausible explanation still not tickling his brain in the way he thought it would.

Just as if on cue, Jay enters the room, audibly gasping at the sight.

"Ugh. Breakroom gossip without me?!" he whines, pouting at the door in irritation.

"Jay! Finally, I need your opinion on this one," Sunghoon beckons him over and Jay doesn’t waste a single second, immediately replacing Heeseung in the throne of his comfortable chair. 

"Good. You deal with him," Heeseung mutters, but not before swiping Jay’s coffee on the way out.

Sunghoon clears his throat to repeat his previous narration, instantly getting a wince not even two sentences into his recollection.

"Do I really need to know about your sex life?"

"You don't need to but of course, you just have to be sulky when you're left out with breakroom gossip, don't you?" he rolls his eyes, his coat sleeve being tugged in franticness when he pretends to stand up.

Jay straightens his posture, giggling whilst shaking his head.

"Kidding, kidding. Don't leave me out ever again," his voice deepens, leaning closer with knitted eyebrows to hear the gossip he sensed that’s been brewing since this morning. "I'm listening."

( ♡ )

Jay is not the devil’s advocate.

However, he is an occasional asshole that really just wants to get on Sunghoon’s nerves every once in a while.

He cares about his friend’s feelings, he really does, but Jay thinks that Sunghoon just really isn’t looking at his problem in the right way. His girlfriend would call him out for meddling but really, all that he’s doing is merely teasing — a tiny bit of teasing won’t hurt, especially if he knows it would launch Sunghoon into a different yet positive spiral (but it’s still a spiral nonetheless).

“What if it was a cheek kiss out of pity?”

Now in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t Jay’s brightest idea up to date.

He said the words playfully and yet Sunghoon sits shocked as if he cussed his family tree out, mouth slightly part open at the syllables that keep ringing in his head. What’s worse is that he misinterprets the shock as amusement, going much further this time.

“Kinda like a participation certificate, y’know? Thanks for showing me the badge.”

Out. Of. Pity.

“I’m just uh, I- well would you look at the time? Lunch break’s over,” Jay awkwardly excuses himself, looking at his bare wrist that’s not even adorned by a watch today. The look of distress is just too overwhelming in Sunghoon's features that it makes him squirm, too preoccupied in giving him space that he doesn’t fully realize that it’s perhaps the first time he’s seen him in such disarray.

He breezes through his schedule for the day and honestly speaking, he wasn’t even paying half the attention he usually would to his clients. Barely engaged in small talk and if that wasn’t enough, he also managed to call a client (or two) the wrong name.

It was an indelible loop that kept playing in his ear, the buzzing so obnoxious that he physically had to shake his head to block it out.

Did he not satisfy you enough?

Sunghoon, against probable and rational judgment, calls if he can come over — not to talk, but to rather prove himself instead.

You look beat as soon as you come home to your apartment, fatigued eyes widening in surprise to see that Sunghoon, against patience and virtue, really did take your offer of letting him in with a spare keycard. 

You told him you would be coming home late a while ago and he hummed in recognition. By late, you meant an-hour-overtime late and not the usual fifteen minutes that you’d warn him about.

Sunghoon’s been waiting for you in your own home for an hour straight.

It’s odd, to say the least. The whole context is weird but what’s even more weird is that you’re not surprised at all to see that true to his word, he waited for you patiently. There’s not a single thing out of place — the only space being occupied being your couch, and particularly in that specific spot he always sits on.

Sunghoon’s sneakers are placed next to yours on your shoe rack. His car keys are placed on your counter, in the same tray you’d also put yours in. He’s wearing the sweatpants he’d wear inside his own place.

Sunghoon looks like he belongs to your home and in all honesty, you don’t hate one bit of it.

“Hiii.”

You drawl in recognition as soon as you enter your front door, immediately padding towards Sunghoon while he smiles at the sight of you. He doesn’t even know that an hour has passed already since he let himself inside your apartment, and he isn’t even aware that not once did he look at the time in impatience.

“Tired, baby?” he asks gently, humming as he puts his hand on your lower back out of instinct, a chuckle involuntarily leaving him when you decide to sit on his lap.

It isn’t even sexual to begin with. You sit on his lap because you’re tired and he’s warm and in the little time you decide to initiate skinship with him, you melt.

Sunghoon feels you get comfortable in his lap and he has no qualms in bundling you in his arms, hugging you as he realizes it belatedly.

He doesn’t hate one bit of your warmth.

“Mhmm. Lifting candy makes you so tired,” you murmur to his neck, trying to fight away the sleep that’s weighing down on your eyelids. You try to fight it by realizing that you’re dirty from being outside and you need to take a shower before heading to bed, but the lingering scent of Sunghoon’s perfume on his neck says you don’t necessarily need to break from his grasp now.

“Candy? I thought you worked in sports,” his eyebrows knit in confusion, turning his head to look at you to confirm his knowledge, but you’re just so close that all he sees is your cheek; so close to the point that the tip of his nose nudges it.

You hum in response, unabashedly nudging your head closer to Sunghoon’s neck to breathe in his scent that calmed you to no end. “The court cleaner gig? Ah. That was from a week ago.”

He blinks earnestly, pausing from looking at you to look at your framed certificate on the console across the room.

“Didn’t you graduate with a double major in finance and accounting?” He knowshe knows the information to heart because it was the first thing he learned about you from Heeseung, so he doesn’t know why he looked at your certificate.

Actually, Sunghoon doesn’t even know why he’s so curious about it, because the last time he checked, he came here to disprove his insecurities and prove himself to you — even if you know nothing of the matter. “Never mind that. Are you sore, hmm?”

“Very,” you wince at the reminder that the entirety of your arms are aching, the sensation reminding you why you even accepted Sunghoon’s meek question if he could come over.

“Sunghoon,” you mumble and he perks up attentively, using everything in your strength to will yourself at prying your face away from his neck just so you could deliver your request sincerely. “Fuck me to a good night’s sleep, please.”

He buffers.

He buffers for one, two seconds — and it doesn’t help that you go back to nuzzling into him as if you didn’t ask of him to basically fuck you into next week. 

In fact, Sunghoon even forgets that he’s here for that exact reason. He thought that he was here to be your furnace as you sit on his lap because you’re spent from lifting candy all day, but he’s obviously not opposed to doingopposed doing the other, first-most reason.

He chuckles at your choice of words now that it really sinks into him, feeling you peek one eye open with a faux mocking look. 

“Can you do all the work?”

“Can I do all the work?” he tiltslilts his voice and it’s enough to know that he’ll deliver on your request, a content smile forming on your face the moment you feel his hands roaming to undress you.

Sunghoon chooses not to move you because it’s clear to him that you already have a favorite spot at the moment (on his lap regardless if he’s naked or not), and just makes the reminder to carry you back to bed once you’ve finished.

“Up,” he lifts you by your thighs, taking off both your pants and your underwear in a few swift motions. He feels your sigh elongate in contentment because you return to his warmth once he sets you back down, immediately making quick work of massaging your thighs from standing up all day. “How many hours do you sleep?”

“A minimum of eight if I sleep late on the weekends.”

Sunghoon can’t help but to chuckle at your prompt answer, shifting his thumb closer to your heartheat when you hum to his ear. He finds you moving yourself closer to his hand that’s removing his sweatpants, flattered enough that he doesn’t even try to lift you a little so he could undress himself easier.

“It’s only nine in the evening.”

He finally acknowledges the time on the clock behind you but you don’t even follow his gaze, simply just groaning and making an off-hand comment that the candy industry is just not for you.

“What time do you want to wake up tomorrow?”

Sunghoon nudges you by your thighs again to shift, this time to put his straining cock in you. It’s merely an innocent question at first glance, even if he grunts the second you put all your eagerness into sinking down on him slowly to savor the stretch.

He’s amused with the way you chuckle with your chest even if he’s already cock-deep inside you. It isn’t in his routine to you know, normally talk and make conversation while he fucks! It throws him off his distraction so for any other occasion, Sunghoon just resorts to showing his presence by letting out absentminded grunts while chasing his climax.

The two of you are exclusively fucking, by the way.

It’s all just so casual and easygoing with you that even if you’re half-asleep and wholly turned on at the moment, Sunghoon finds no real rush.

“I wanna say one in the afternoon, maybe?”

He clicks his tongue, audibly groaning to look down where the two of you meet. Nobody takes him as well as you do and Sunghoon really can’t be willed to test that fact with anyone else.

“1 PM on a Saturday?” he repeats for clarification, grunting when your pussy clenches around him, your core already done with adjusting to his.

He gets a first shallow thrust up into you, the position burying him into you deeper than he normally could. You feel so good that it makes his bottom lip quiver, ripping away a shaky moan from his throat.

“Yeah, no problem. I can fuck you good enough tonight to knock you out until tomorrow noon.” 

True to his word, Sunghoon fucks you good — more than good. He thrusts into you slowly and deeply while he holds you just as tightly, kissing your lips more than he ever did before and it's all too euphoric.

Maybe the question all along wasn't about if he satisfied you enough.

Maybe it's about if he appreciated you sufficiently.

Sunghoon carries you to your bed and cleans you up, going the extra mile to tuck you in with pillows on either side of you. He fills up the bottle on your bedside table with cold water so it wouldn't be room temperature by the time you wake up tomorrow. He arranges his house slippers next to yours, preparing to tell you good night when you beat him into asking.

“Driving home tonight?” you ask even if you already know the answer, no hint of malice in your tone.

“Yeah. Early morning tomorrow." He's apologetic but he just doesn’t know why. He never apologized before for leaving, because after all that's what friends with benefits do, but the reminder of the status doesn't calm him like he expected it would.

Sunghoon looks lost and you don't know why, and you want to know why, but your head is just too fuzzy to bring it up and you figure that no one likes an existential question after a head-splitting climax — so you reserve the question for next time.

“Come here.” 

You beckon him over because you’re clearly too tired to stand up, and for a second, you don't even know why you ask him to do so.

Sunghoon doesn't know why he complies either, but he does it nonetheless.

You kiss him on the cheek, again.

“Drive safe.”

Sunghoon tenses up, an involuntary squeak leaving his lips that you mistaken it for words you can't even place just because ofwith how blurry your mind is, taking it as his goodbye for you instead.

“If I wake up even a minute earlier than one in the afternoon tomorrow, I’m blocking your number.”

He breathlessly laughs, holding on to your side table for support. You've already closed your eyes even before he can leave your room, the belated realization that you kissed him on the cheek after sex, again, making him clutch at his hair.

You wake up the next day at 2:03 in the afternoon.

Sunghoon barely got any sleep throughout the night.

( ♡ )

One thing that Sunghoon can't do is be discreet.

He can't hide his nosiness when he's curious. He physically just can't keep it to himself no matter how small or big is the information intentionally withheld from him, considering that the ones closest to him know how inquisitive he could be.

Sunghoon particularly can't be discreet when he sees Heeseung at the next workday, only pretending to look at the logbook for a grand total of five (5) seconds before he caves in and rushes behind the receptionist booth to sit next to his friend. 

“Where does Y/N work now?”

Heeseung sighs, having already foreseen Sunghoon's nosiness the moment he stepped foot into the clinic. He keeps his eyes at the monitor though, double-checking and organizing the booked appointments for today.

“She’s a window cleaner at Lotte at the moment.”

“The World Tower?" Sunghoon scrunches his nose, tilting his head because maybe the new angle would make him understand better. Heeseung wordlessly nods, making him shriek in surprise. "You mean the high-rise?!”

Sunghoon's too loud and the clinic hasn't even opened yet so there's no establishment music nor client chatter to act as buffers, the sound whole enough to make Heeseung wince.

He grunts, furrowing his brows because they both know they're on the same page but Sunghoon keeps skippingskimming to the next one.

“Yes...? What windows do you want her to clean?”

“But she was making candy a week ago!” he stammeredstammers in reply, the confirmation coming from your best friend further plummeting him into disbelief.

Heeseung tuts, nodding understandingly. He surely remembers your candy job because he became your tester, remembering the taste of caramel that was too bland and watermelon candy that oddly enough, didn't taste like watermelon.

“Ah, yeah. That was last week though.”

Sunghoon's not hearing things. You did work as a part-time ball and mop cleaner for a basketball team last month, you did work as a candy maker last week, and now you do work as a window cleaner for a high-rise.

It throws him off-guard completely, his curiosity unable to be contained at this point.

“Why does she do this?” he blurts, face scrunched up in confusion. “Jump from one part-time job to another, I mean.” 

The additional thought crosses his mind and Sunghoon really tries to reel himself in, the side comment slipping from his lips before he could notice. “Or if you could even call them jobs at this point.” 

Heeseung clicks his tongue in distaste, rolling his eyes.

“Heard that.” 

He's typing a little too loudly now and even Sunghoon notices it, meekly apologizing for the comment. He just waves him off, turning to the next spreadsheet at hand to keep himself occupied. “You want me to call her and ask that? The signal might be good on the 83rd floor.”

“Why’s Y/N like that?”

Sunghoon asks again this time but the genuine wonder is more evident this time compared to the condescension, making Heeseung indulge him begrudgingly.

“The cheek kisses or the career shifts?”

“I think you could hardly call them careers.”

“Sunghoon,” Heeseung scolds, his tone warning him to not cross the line any further than he's already doing.

He frowns, fiddling with his fingers but relenting later on. “I’m just being realistic, Hobi.”

“Shh. Don’t speak on it," he asserts. Heeseung finally stops what he's doing to give his undivided attention, spinning with his chair to face Sunghoon. "Y/N just loves doing the things that she wants, alright? Don’t ruin it for her.”

Your best friend did just say to Sunghoon to not ruin it for you, but maybe one last interjection won't hurt to point it outpoint out. After this point, Sunghoon swears he'll shut his mouth.

“A cum laude. Double-major in finance and accounting. And your best friend’s cleaning windows on a high-rise!”

“And I’m proud of her,” Heeseung means sincerely but says nonchalantly, pursing his lips. “That job pays, by the way. Eight hours for three days and her wage is like, yours and Jay’s combined.”

Sunghoon, finally, shuts up.

He'd be the first to admit that knowing your new job at the moment, or even just knowing a somehow 555m high life update about you but doesn't come from you directly, makes him miss you more.

Getting the update from Heeseung may have made him take his phone out and text you, asking if you have any plans for lunch. Friends with benefits shouldn't ask the other to go to lunch together, and friends with benefits shouldn't agree when the other asks them for lunch.

Neither of you adhere to the supposed FWB etiquette.

At this point, maybe (and the two of you are well-aware now) you aren't just friends with benefits.

"Sunghoon! There you are. Jeez, I almost went dizzy out there."

You attach yourself to Sunghoon's side the moment you spot him, his face lighting up in recognition. He's been trying to locate you for the past two minutes assuming that you were wearing something from your closet that he's already familiar with, but of course, he forgot that you work here.

He locates you not a second later because of course, he wouldn't miss you who's wearing a neon orange jumpsuit and is jogging towards him.

Sunghoon bites his cheek and wraps his arm around your waist in greeting, the urge to do so being so natural that it feels like a second instinct.

He could've gonewent to see you without lunch being involved but seeing that he used the latter as an excuse, Sunghoon brings you up to the café upstairs and orders for the both of you.

He only left you for a total of five minutes and the moment he comes back, there's a guy sitting on his seat. The guy with the red hair is probably familiar to him, judging by the way you're motioning to him slyly with a knowing smile, but Sunghoon is just too annoyed to play courtesies.

“Get out. Go search about enemas on your own and shit,” he mutters his remarks based on the tidbits he managed to overhear, tapping the back of his seat impatiently.

Jungwon, your friend, hurriedly gets up from the chair. He only sat in briefly because he's been sitting alone prior to your arrival and of good nature, and also because he wants to ask if your current part-time job has any more openings, he decides to make himself comfortable at the chair opposite to you.

Sunghoon, however, does not wait for Jungwon to leave before he talks about him to you directly. "Didn't you work with him in that café?"

“Did you mean éclairs?” Jungwon mutters, correcting the extremely different assumption of Sunghoon as to what he was talking about. Sunghoon clicks his tongue and groans audibly, making him equally as irritable to go out. “I’m going, I’m going! God, I’m completely harmless to your girlfriend, jeez!”

You freeze upon hearing, but the guy who's now in his rightful chair doesn't.

Sunghoon doesn't correct him.

( ♡ )

It's only a matter of time before something else entirely throws off Sunghoon.

He's no longer bothered about the cheek kisses, the gentle pecks on his skin unable to make him lose his sanity at this point in time. He came to accept that you just happened to love giving them to him, and although he could do something about it if he really wanted to, he chooses not to.

He came to accept that you're the only one, if not one of the few people who manage to throw him off his track without prior notice. It's not as if your life's goal was to get under his skin, but it feels like it.

No, Sunghoon doesn't hate the cheek kisses — he’s bothered about something else now.

Your part-time jobs. 

It's been boggling his mind for months now. He didn't necessarily hate each job you've been willingly putting yourself in, but what he hates is that it's completely unnecessary. He'd understand jumping from one job to another if it's what pays the bills, but what he doesn't understand is you don't need to do these jobs at all.

In all fairness, even if you needed them to get through, you could just find part-time jobs that were normal in a sense that it didn't require you to look like a fool or risk your safety. 

You simply just like making a fool of yourself and Sunghoon hates it.

He hates it especially like that time when you asked him out for dinner and you didn't show up, or at leastatleast that's what he thinks of in the first ten minutes. Turns out you signed him up for a floating restaurant that's suspended 70 ft. into the air with a crane — and you showed up! You showed up, not to be his date, but to be a floating restaurant staff member.

Sunghoon remembers gritting his teeth when you secure his seat beltseatbelt and harness, all with an excited grin on your face and whispering "It's me, Y/N!" as if he couldn't pick you out in a sea of a thousand people.

He doesn't remember if he was gritting his teeth because he made the mistake of looking behind him and realizing that maybe he does have a fear of heights or if it was because the food he's been served looks undercooked. What he does remember is getting the fright of his life when you playfully pretend to trip over the edge, but it was all just part of a skit, and Sunghoon yelled out your name in panic for nothing.

Sunghoon hates your jobs especially like that time when you worked as a K-9 apprentice trainer. On the first day, your boss asked you to test out the prototype dog bite suit they were trying to patent, and as soon as the agitated Belgian Malinois camecomes charging after you, you could feel its teeth. Of course the bite neither broke your skin nor the suit, but what you and your boss didn't anticipate is the other German Shepherd who broke out of its cage to tackle you from behind.

It's a miracle that they immediately let go of you after some stern commands, but that didn't exactly mean you came out unscathed. There was one particular scratch on your calf that you think would scar, so you immediately come to the clinic where Heeseung works. 

Sure, he was the receptionist for Serendipity Aesthetics but that doesn't mean he's batshit clueless when it comes to the products they carry. Heeseung's clearly intrigued to see you drop in his workplace all of a sudden, but he's even more baffled when you reveal the story and the accompanying marks to it.

Without a word, he tells you he'll take you to the inventory where they keep all their products, but turns out he takes you straight into Sunghoon's clinic.

He doesn't ask, doesn't even talk, as he cleans up your injuries. You didn't ask him to do that for you, but you don't want to tell him to stop either because for some reason, Sunghoon looks mad at you. The whole time that he aids you, his jaw is clenched and his grip on you is firm, not making eye contact with you once.

Sunghoon hates your affinity for taking ridiculous part-time jobs especially like that time when you part-timed as a diving guide. There was a special opportunity for clients in your program wherein an hour prior to their dive, you would hide special gold coins for them to hunt and later exchange for prizes.

You were doing just that in your full-body scuba suit, and Sunghoon just happened to meet you by chance because he didn't know you would be on the beach at the same time as him. What he didn't expect to happen was to see you and realize that you're wincing out of pain because a fucking jellyfish had stung the bare portion of your skin that was showing.

You were frantically asking him to pee on you because you've heard that it's effective in taking the sting out, and you haven't actually tried that for yourself, but Sunghoon is just so panicked that he actually considers doing it until your head instructor finally finds you. 

No, the jellyfish sting on you isn't fatal.

No, the peeing-on-a-jellyfish-sting myth is pure bullshit.

Yes, Sunghoon actually feels like passing out from the whole ordeal.

Everything is just sotoo ridiculous that Sunghoon can't handle seeing you in this state. You said explicitly to him that you were having fun but he isn't.

There's nothing fun seeing you go about your part-time jobs like they're children's cartoons who promoted nothing but risky behavior without a glimpse of dire consequences. There's nothing entertaining seeing you have fun despite knowing the risks.

It's like you weren't even concerned for your safety. All you're after is your enjoyment and the next big thing that would make your heart race.

Even now, Sunghoon feels like you can't take him seriously because the bruise on your elbow says so. A bruise you obtained from your part-time aquarium job because you tripped over a fucking penguin, from running away from another penguin who was trying to attack you.

“Get a grip, Y/N! Can’t you just for once in your life do something mundane? Something boring? Something that I don’t know, pays your bills without having to make a fool out of yourself?!”

“I like what I do, Sunghoon.” 

You whisper in reply but you don't even know why you're whispering out of shame. No one had particularly called you out before, because everyone dear to you supports you — from your parents, to Heeseung, and to even previous co-workers who cheer you on.

Everyone dear to you loves seeing you do what you want to do — everyone except Sunghoon.

“For god’s sake, you were grooming sheep two months ago! Then a week after that, you were making soap and massaging people’s hands! Hell, even this month you’re working in that aquarium! You put on a scuba suit, wipe the glass, and for what? To swim with some fucking shrimp and shit like that?”

He's only been angry with you once, at least what you know of, but it's now that you don't like Sunghoon the most. Perhaps you took his little smiles and breathless chuckles as affirmations that he loves what you do. Perhaps if you just looked a little closer without the blind expectation that everyone tolerates you because you could be a little too much for some, maybe you could've seen that the smiles were grimaces and the chuckles were groans.

“Y/N, I’m saying this because I care about you,” he runs his hand through his hair, exhaling deeply to look you in the eye. “But please just grow up. You’re only a few years younger than me but just– look! Look! You graduated at the top of your class for a real degree. Please do something useful.”

Please do something useful.

Do something useful.

Now do you realize that you can’t keep grazing your elbows on repainting daycares and have your pants frayed from volunteering at animal pounds. You can't keep doing spontaneous jobs for the sake of them because in simple terms, they're just not useful.

Sunghoon's perhaps the smartest guy you know and if it comes from him, you know to believe him. Perhaps he's the smartest guy you know amongst everyone dearest to you because from all of them, he's the only one that ever spoke to you this way.

In this brutally honest, albeit painful, way.

“Okay," you nod definitively, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Yeah, you’re right.” 

“I should do something normal.”

Sunghoon purses his lips in regret because now that you put it that way, it sounds more cutthroat and unforgiving.

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I think you should get going,” you squeak, humming to yourself as you turn away from him, vaguely pointing to the door so he could see himself out. “You made a good point. I just need to be alone right now, try to get my shit together, y’know?”

Sunghoon really should've kept his mouth shut.

He should've heeded Heeseung's advice to not ruin it for you. But judging by the way you avoid his eyes and walk away from him, he knows he's already done that and more. He doesn't want to leave but you want him to leave, and if it's any consolation for you to help ease the pain he's caused, he'll do it this time. “Okay.”

He doesn't know why he's still expecting at this point, but Sunghoon feels heavy getting out of your door — without a kiss on his cheek, and with the knowledge that he had hurt you.

( ♡ )

Unsurprisingly, Sunghoon hasn’t heard from you in a while.

It's been almost a month that he hasn't seen you. He had apologized numerous times over text, to which you only reacted to with an emoticon but didn't reply to, and that was it. He felt uncomfortable to ask to see you in-person because even he is ashamed of himself, mad at himself if in case his presence reminds you of his words.

Jay's pissed at him because Sunghoon definitely does not have a say in what you do and what you love, especially considering that he isn't your boyfriend, regardless if your feelings for each other were requited.

Heeseung’s angry at him. Not you-just-hurt-my-best-friend angry, but "not only did you hurt my best friend but you also changed the trajectory of her life, possibly for the worst, even if she didn't ask you to" angry.

Sunghoon's also furious at himself for the most part. He was selfish and projected his own frustrations to you because perhaps there was a tiny little part of him that envied you. 

The tiny little green part of him that envies just how happy you are even if you earn much less than him. He likes his job and he likes his salary, don't get him wrong, but no matter how shallow he sounds when he admits it — doing the same stable thing felt like a routine more than it was a passion.

You're carefree and Sunghoon isn't and it's wrong for him to hate that. He loves his job and he hates that he just had to make you miserable by grounding you only to your degree. He hates himself for saying that neither of the things you've done are useful because he subjected you to comparison.

He risks it ultimately when one day he texts and asks to come over. He didn't know if you would be mad at him and terminate your communication completely because after all, he still has the gall to ask you that despite the things he did.

He didn't know what to feel when you reply in less than an hour and tell him to just let himself in with the keycard you’ve left at his place accidentally, because you’ll be running a little late.

It's all too familiar because this has already happened before.

He wishes that it's familiar.

When you come home and he's waiting for you on your couch, he doesn't know how to react seeing you look so manufactured.

You're as beautiful as always even if you're in a corporate suit, from a pink button-up to a leather pencil skirt to a pair of high heels. 

You're you and you recognize yourself more than he does, but to him, you look off. The version that stands in front of him is unlike you; you’re not wearing overalls or chicken shop uniforms or wearing anything that resembles you.

“What’s with the get-up?”

It takes a few seconds for the question to buffer in your brain, a genuine laugh leaving your lips as you shrug off your heels.

“I work in stocks now,” you clear your throat, adding to the silence when Sunghoon remains still. "I'm the top fund manager in my company. Yay."

Your anger for Sunghoon has already passed which is why you didn't hesitate letting him wait for you in your apartment. Sure, the anger did pass but the ghost of it remains.

You're thankful that he gave you a fresh new perspective, but you just wish he could've done it a little more gently. Delivered the take a little more coddling. You wish he gave you a little more time for you to come to your senses by yourself.

“I’m sorry for everything I said,” Sunghoon speaks thickly into the air, the gravity of his previous words now just singing a little worse. “You shouldn’t have to change. You were happy doing what you love the most and I gave you shit for it.”

In your head you've already forgiven him. It was a new, brutal perspective he had given you out of sincere concern. Even if there's truth to his words and you've come to accept it, it didn't necessarily mean that he was solely on the right.

“I’m happy now,” you offer with a weak smile, shrugging your shoulders carelessly.

“I’m not as happy as I was, but I’m still happy now. Besides, I have like a ton of money now,” you add playfully, giggling to yourself. “I could pay my monthly rent and your clinic’s yearly lease and still have extra.”

Sunghoon tries to find it in him to laugh, the return of your giggles easing him a little, but it's just not the same.

He's not gonna try and take credit for your change, but he does know that he's a large variable. He's remorseful and the guilt still doesn't leave him even if you let him into your home, the thoughts playing out in his mind like clockwork.

He thought he hated your part-time jobs but now, he realizes that he remembers every single one. He remembers every single bit of them that you tell him, all from the quirks of your job to the flaws of it.

“But you’re not bottle-feeding baby goats," he murmurs, looking down on his lap. “You’re not in a ski resort wearing duck feet to make children look for you.”

Your resentment for Sunghoon for presenting you a realistic truth may have already passed, but he hasn't. He's still strongly, and irrevocably, angry at himself.

“Is this still you?”

You throw off Sunghoon in both the best and worst ways possible but nothing beats the relief you provide for him either, but he knows that for the time-being, he's not entirely deserving of the latter.

“Still me,” you nod, unable to keep the next words to yourself as it hits you once again. “Just a more rational, useful me.”

( ♡ )

You and Sunghoon don’t talk as much these days.

If you were to describe your current state, it would be steady. It’s not much, but it’s honest. 

The two of you would be lying if you deny that your previous relationship was strictly in a friends with benefits state. You both knew and showed (he clearly did) just how concerned you are for each other, never skipping a beat.

It’s been weeks since he last dropped into your apartment to personally apologize and after a long, agonizing yet much-needed conversation, you weren’t even sure if the two of you would progress after basically calling off your previous status with each other.

Until Sunghoon shows up at your doorstep at one in the morning, right before you go to sleep.

“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?”

He’s dressed up in formal wear, still complete with a boutonnière on the lapel of his suit jacket. His hair’s gelled back but it probably went through much action because now it looks a little unkempt, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol he had.

“I took home way too many brownies,” he blurts as if it would explain why he suddenly manifested at your front door at a godforsaken time, laughing at himself before clearing his throat. “I volunteered to be a wedding singer for my friend’s ceremony. He let me have the first pick at the reception buffet.”

“Cool. Thank you for these,” you chuckle at the suddenness of the situation, taking the silk-wrapped container from his hands. It’s heavy, really heavy, and it’s endearing to think how Sunghoon’s first thought was to give this much to you. “Huh. These are really... a lot, huh?”

“Yeah. I know you like experimenting,” he smiles, scratching behind his ear belatedly at the double meaning, “with flavors and things like that.”

He took at least five of each flavor and the buffet table stretched long, ignoring the appalled looks from the servers behind the booths. He’s certain that he picked up enough food to last you for three meals a day, for at least a week and a half.

Sunghoon looks at you while you look at him and he remembers, even if it’s never left his mind, that you’re his dreamboat. It’s not just the alcohol talking, but it’s his truth even before a single drop of liquor.

“I’m taking a one-month sabbatical.”

He pipes in, immediately getting a whistle from you because even at the dead of one in the morning, perhaps the two of you miss each other that you’re ready to talk about anything.

“One month? That’s huge.”

“Yup.”

The silence stretches and although it’s not comfortable, Sunghoon’s still thankful that he gets to spend it with you. The thing he wanted to talk to you about since this morning finally pops up, eyes widening in realization before he forgets.

“I’m part-timing as a water park attendant two days from now, by the way.”

You want to say you’re confused but the pieces fuse together before they even separate. Sunghoon takes a one-month sabbatical from his duties as a doctor and instead of resting, he’ll be using it to work.

He’ll be using it to work part-time jobs.

“Can I call you tomorrow for some advice?”

The smile appears in your face before you could even stop it. You’ve only tried part-timing as a diving instructor once, but at least it’s in the aquatic industry somehow.

“I haven’t tried that job before.”

“We could try together,” Sunghoon offers, unable to resist a giddy smile that makes his eyes crescent. “Are you free tomorrow?”

Your mental calendar is long-checked by your mouth before you can even pretend to think about it, a chuckle leaving you in return. “I uh... I actually am.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” you parrot, eyes unblinking while you stare at Sunghoon. The two of you must have been staring at each other for a minute until you’re interrupted by the sound of your floor’s elevator dinging, snapping you both out of your dazes. “Drive safe.”

You’re sheepish as you bid him goodbye, cutting the interaction short even if you think it’s the perfect end to your night, or rather the start of your morning.

Sunghoon hums in acknowledgment but just before he goes, even if it’s the first of many, and hopefully the rest in a greater and better context than this is.

He’ll make it up to you somehow.

He stays rooted in his position and you don’t make a move to close your door either. You’re about to ask him if he’s fit to drive himself home but just before you do, you tense in the same way as he did before.

Sunghoon kisses your cheek.