#if anyone knows the episode they’re talking about please tell me!

[englishstrawbie]

Kim and Caterina at FRR3

[sturnsbaebackup]

can you write something about how the fans have started speculating something between you and chris??

RUMORS FLY - CHRIS STURNIOLO

summary: you and chris have been talking, and the fans are starting to notice.

warnings: none!

-

as nick and matt argue about god knows what into their microphones, chris stares down at his phone with a small smile. “chris what’s your opinion on this?” nick asks, but it appears chris hasn’t heard him.

“chris, get off of your fucking phone. we’re on the podcast! who are you even texting that’s so important right now?” matt groans. quickly after being called out chris puts his phone away. he’s very clearly flustered, and he says, “i was just um— texting nate!”

“texting nate? with that big of a smile on your face? i didn’t know nate was so funny… but whatever can you please just get off of your phone and help us settle this debate,” matt says, glaring at chris with a wondering eye. not even his brothers knew about you and chris, but they were bound to find out soon enough.

chris feels his phone buzz on his lap, and he waits until he has a chance to answer it. he doesn’t want to tell you that he’s recording because he doesn’t want to stop talking to you, so he tried to multitask, but clearly he’s not very good at it.

nick suddenly gets up and walks over to chris, snatching his phone from his hands. as he does so, he see’s your contact name and the photo of you and chris cuddling at the top of the screen. “oh my god that’s—“ he blurts out, but immediately stops himself. “—enough! i’m taking your phone until the end of the episode” nick says, immediately catching himself before he reveals you and chris’ secret.

chris’ cheeks turn bright pink, and his heart rate is through the roof. he knows he’ll be grilled with questions once they’re done recording, and he doesn’t know if he’s ready for that yet. eventually the pod is over, and immediately nick hands chris his phone with a smirk.

“have fun texting y/n!” nick shouts as chris begins walking downstairs to his room. a loud gasp can be heard from matt, and chris can feel his cheeks burning up. he scurries into his room and replies to your texts, and immediately opens tiktok to rewatch the tiktok you guys had made a couple days ago. he scrolls through the endless comments, and begins to notice a reoccurring pattern.

“are they dating?!”

“oh i ship this”

“i think they’re dating! i mean, y/n is wearing his brand…”

and so forth. he bites his cheeks to hold his smile in, but ultimately fails when he sees all of the support even when you guys haven’t gone public. as he scrolls through his phone, a gentle knock can be heard on his door.

“come in nick!” he exclaims, not even looking up from his phone. he knows it’s nick because matt has a tendency to just walk in, or bang on the door. one or the other.

“can i ask you something?” nick asks, sitting in the end of chris’ bed.

“yeah, anything,” chris says, putting his phone down and fixing his posture.

“why didn’t you tell me and matt?”

“um— well we aren’t really telling anyone. i mean we’re not dating yet, but—“ he pause, “actually i don’t really know, honestly. i guess i’m just nervous that if i start telling people things will go south,” he shrugs.

“are you planning to ask her out soon?”

“yeah, i am actually. i was gonna do it this weekend, and make it a big surprise for the fans but now i don’t know. the fans are already speculating things, so i feel like i should just scratch the whole big idea i had and ask her the next time we hang out.”

“oh! that was also one of my questions! how the hell have you been hanging out with y/n and both me and matt didn’t know about it?! we live together and i still didn’t know!”

chris chuckles, “there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me nick. and it’s gonna stay that way, so if you could stop asking me a million questions that would be great,” he sarcastically grins, and nick just rolls his eyes. nick closes the door behind him, and chris immediately goes back to texting you.

—

the podcast episode was posted a few days ago, and immediately the fans have been questioning who chris was texting. there have been many many guesses, but most have been you. chris feels like it’s his fault, and the last thing he wants is for you to feel like you’re being led on, so there’s only one thing to do.

“y/n, i have a question,” chris says nervously, looking down at you as your head rests on his arm.

“what is it?” you ask, knowing exactly what it is. or hoping, at least.

“well, obviously i like you. a lot. and i was just wondering if you wanted to make this official? will you be my girlfriend?”

“of course i will chris, is that even a question?” you giggle, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of chris’ shoulders. he smiles at you and gently places his hands on your cheeks, pulling your faces towards his. your lips melt together, and your hands find their way to the back of his neck.

you both end up falling asleep in chris’ bed, and while you both nap, you’re unaware that nick and matt both arrive back home. they enter chris’ room after calling his name a few times with no response, only to see you both asleep. of course, them being the immature boys they are, take your guys’ picture. unfortunately, you learn about this the hard way when you see the photo in their photo dump a few days later. you gasp and immediately check the comments, expecting tons of hate comments.

“i knew it was y/n! they’re so cute!”

“AWWW”

“cutest couple ever”

you immediately text chris, and you both share a big grin over the situation. although you never would have expected your situation with chris to have gotten semi-exposed, you were just glad everyone was so supportive.

[anzulvr]

Karma x Goosip!reader? Like I'd love to imagine they're in the middle of class and reader just whispers to Karma "I heard Koro-Sensei was keeping a favorite student list in his desk" or smth. The two would be gossip buddies with Rio but a bit better bc they're in E-class

Karma X Reader <3 || Gossiping with Karma and Rio — fluff!

Karma has no censor, he’ll say anything for a laugh (like in the episode where he calls the REAPER kinky?? Gtfo 💀)

The class will be completely silent and he’ll be talking to you so loudly because he has issues whispering, he doesn’t care if people hear but you do, so gossip sessions consists of you constantly shushing him and him talking louder to mess with you.

“And then that’s when I beat the crap out of the Koyama infront of Seo. Asano hasn’t said anything yet so I thi-”

“Karma shh..”

“Its fine no one cares.”

Karma then proceeds to finish his story louder than before (put ur hand over his mouth to get him to shut up.)

He acts like he doesn’t care about the things you and Rio gossip about, but he’s listening INTENTLY 😭

You’re Karma and Rios biggest secret weapon.

They love to make fun of everyone and you have all the info, they know exactly how to get things out of you.

“[Name] Cmon we’re friends just tell us what you saw..!” Rio is practically begging for you to spill.

“I can’t! I promised Takebayashi I’d stay quiet for a cookie.”

“[Name] a cookie?? Over me?”

“Sorry Rio it was chocolate chip.”

Karma says “please..?” one time and it’s over, you literally tell them everything. (Rios very salty you gave into him so easily and not her😭)

“I saw him at a maid café and he and the worker were baby talking eachother, I got a video and everything.”

“NO WAY- LET ME SEE.” Rio is the first to react

“Wait why were you at a maid café?", Karma asks.

“I saw him through the window and I was feeling nosy.”

— They keep tabs on everything to stir drama.

About the scenario in your ask they do pull stunts like that.

“I heard Korosensei keeps a list of his favorite students on his desk.” They spread this rumor knowing well they planted that list themselves 😭

The class believes it and gives Korosensei the cold shoulder for a hot minute.

“Does anyone want to answer the problem on the board?”

“Why don’t you answer it Sugino? Since you’re one of his favorites.” Maehara calls out.

Korosensei frantically tries to assure everyone he doesn’t play favorites and believes in everyone equally.

“I SWEAR I DONT KNOW WHAT LIST YOU ALL ARE REFERRING TO IWOULDNTEVERDOSUCHATHINPLEASE.”

“Woah slow down teach, we don’t understand a single thing you’re saying… all we hear is sounds of a traitor.”

Everyone gives him a hard time until Karma and Rio admit they’re messing with everyone.

They do things like that all the time but they have such a knack for debating and convincing, your class falls for it every time!

[https-lawrenceslittleone]

Caregiver Katsuki Bakugo Headcanons

A/N: Hey!!! This is my first like. Writing related post. In a WHILE. Sorry about that!! But please feel free to request anything, I’m kinda bored. :P

Warnings: Minor swearing but I think that’s it ???

Bakugo is very aggressive. We all know this. Pretty much all the time, he’s aggressive and seemingly angry. And this does not waver or change, even when you’re regressed. So if you’re super sensitive, he probably wouldn’t be the best for you.

However, that’s not to say he doesn’t care. Quite the opposite, actually. He would die for you and actively goes out of his way to protect you.

Oh, he would get SO mad if anyone ever said anything remotely negative to you about your age regression. He wouldn’t even try to reason with them or have a debate he would straight up just tell them to kys 💀 (me core)

He does better with toddler or kid regressors, but baby regressors are fine as long as they can tolerate his naturally rough and callous behavior.

He did not know what the hell age regression was before he met you. Honestly, I feel like he’d come off as judgey at first. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just how he is. But then he’d go and research it a bit and realize that it’s not anything weird or fetishy and is instead a healthy coping mechanism.

He’s a little hesitant to be your caregiver at first. He says it’s because he isn’t sure if he wants to focus on anything other than training right now and being a caregiver is a lot of responsibility. That’s partially true. But it’s mainly really because he’s afraid he won’t be good at it and will just end up hurting you and potentially ruining one of your only healthy coping mechanisms.

It takes a lot for him to be able to open up to someone and take care of someone like that, but eventually, he does it. And he finds he enjoys it. He finds your little antics and your dependency on him really adorable.

He’s not embarrassed or ashamed that you age regress. I feel like nearly half of class 1-A regresses so it’s not unusual at all for you two to be in the common room, you sitting on his lap with a sippy cup in hand.

Sets you up on play dates with Kaminari and Mina all the time. He wants you to have fun and interact with other littles. Plus, they’re his friends and their caregivers are his friends too.

Takes a little bit to get used to nicknames as well. But finds he likes parental nicknames a lot more than he thought he would.

The first time you called him dada was something he will never forget. You were half asleep, snuggling in his chest, when you realized you were thirsty. You lazily grabbed his shirt and gently tugged on it and went, “Dada…juice…?”. He immediately knew what you wanted and he gave you the juice. He didn’t even register the nickname until a few seconds later and was really shocked. He didn’t say anything about it in the moment, though. He talked to you about it when you were big again and he clarified that he was okay with it and it didn’t make him uncomfortable.

Midoriya and Kirishima are his go-to babysitters. Mainly Midoriya because he’s more responsible than Kirishima. But Midoriya can get busy quite a lot. And Bakugo’s also a little anxious about you possibly liking Midoriya more than him, although he would rather die than admit that out loud lol.

He can cook. This is canon. This mf can cook like a 1950s housewife it is INSANE. He makes all your food for you, especially when you’re little. He likes taking care of you, even if he won’t really say it.

If you’re like me, and you tend to have really bad rage episodes and outbursts when you’re overstimulated or upset, he’s got you. He knows how to deal with that. He’s got a punching bag in his room that he lets you beat the shit out of if needed. He can make you laugh too. You’ll be beating the fuck out the punching bag and he’ll pretend like it’s a real person and say shit like “YEAH‼️‼️‼️ BEAT HIS ASS‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️” and it makes you giggle.

Surprisingly okay with physical affection. You wanna cling to him? That’s fine. Just listen to him if he tells you to get off of him. Respect his boundaries and don’t get in the way when he’s doing something important and it’s cool. 🙏

[wsdanon]

hi everyone \o/ I’m not even two episodes into ordem paranormal sdol, but I’ve been thinking a lot about aroace Guizo... so please take a messy little fic exploring that idea \o/!!

(and since I’m not even two episodes into sdol: please don’t spoil anything, and please forgive if I don’t have the voices down very well yet…)

cw for: references to homophobia, two queer people who don’t know they’re queer calling queerness/their own experiences “weird�� in a neutral way

reblogs appreciated \o/!!

Guizo’s filming b-roll when Xande starts talking. Which is fine—he usually edits the audio out of b-roll, anyway, and Xande’s always happy enough to sit silently and listen to music if he does want the sound. 

What he says is not fine, though. 

“I could help you get a girlfriend, man.” Xande offers. “Like… if you wanted, you know? I could hype you up.”

Guizo sighs, and pretends he’s focusing too hard on getting the right camera angle to respond. He does not want to be having this conversation. 

“Just ‘cus everyone’s been teasing you about the kiss, yeah?” Xande continues. “I think your next kiss should be with someone you like, is all.” 

“You should let me kiss you then.” 

He didn’t particularly mean to say it—only realising after the words had already spilled from his mouth what it implies. And a quick glance away from the camera to see Xande’s wide eyes staring at him confirms that he’s taken it that way, too.

“What?” He continues defensively. “We’re friends, I like you.” 

“Oh.” Xande nods absently, eyes crinkling in a smile. “I meant like like.” 

Guizo gives up on filming. 

“I know.” He shrugs. “But why does it matter? It’s more likely that I’m going to transform into someone’s husband—or wife!—again before I get a girlfriend.”

“I could help you get a girlfriend.” Xande offers again. 

Guizo bites his tongue, refusing to let stupid words escape this time. He continues like he didn’t hear him. 

“But we’re friends, and I like you, so…” another shrug. “You can keep the mask on if you want.”

Xande’s hand comes up to touch his mask—almost like Guizo’s caught him so off-guard he forgot he was wearing it. Then he tugs it down, revealing red cheeks. 

“No, it’s… fine.”

Huh. Guizo wasn’t expecting him to actually say yes. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…” he points at Guizo warningly, “but you can’t tell anyone, okay?” 

“Okay.”

He looks down at the camera in his hands. Then looks around for a place to prop it up.

“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” Xande asks—usually calm voice taking on a hint of panic. 

“Well the other one was filmed, right? I just wanted the good one saved as well.”

“Guizo, my angel, it’s not exactly normal for two guys to kiss, you know?” 

Guizo frowns, not taking the camera away, but not fully putting it down, either. Discomfort twinges in his chest at the reminder. But Xande is right. 

“I won’t film it then.” 

Not filming things goes against his very nature. He tries to say it without it sounding like he’s in pain, and he’s pretty sure he fails when Xande’s hand lands on his before he can move the camera. 

“No, no, you can.” His eyes are fixated on the camera, carefully avoiding Guizo’s. “Just�� remember that, okay? Keep it hidden.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” And now he looks at Guizo, a small smile on his face. “I want it to be a good memory, you know? You should get to keep it.”

“Thank you.” 

If Guizo’s cheeks weren’t red before, they definitely are now. His face feels like it’s on fire. 

But he leaves the camera where it is, and moves back so they’ll be in frame. Xande comes with him, more relaxed than he was when the conversation first turned in this direction. 

Either he’s putting it on to make Guizo feel better, or he’s genuinely thought it through and decided he doesn’t care. At this point, Guizo doesn’t think he should press. He trusts Xande to tell him if doesn’t want to do something. 

Now he just has to figure out… how to do this. 

“Um…” 

He cups Xande’s cheeks, trying to keep him in place so he doesn’t do something stupid like miss. Xande doesn’t protest at the gesture. So, Guizo closes his eyes and leans in. 

It’s more of a press of lips against lips than anything. Which is maybe just what kissing is if you want a middle ground between a peck and using tongue. 

Xande’s hand cups the back of his neck, fingers curling into the short hair there. Then he tilts his head a little, and things feel… mostly the same, but a little less clumsy. 

Guizo’s entire body feels like it’s on fire now. And there’s a nervousness trembling throughout it. 

But apart from that, it’s… nice? 

It’s nice because it’s Xande. He doesn’t really see what the big deal is. 

He pulls away. 

“I don’t know how to do the whole…” he waves his hand around, “tongue thing.”

“Me neither.” Xande says quietly instead of teasing him for his lack of experience. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Xande pulls his mask up and moves away from him, eyes darting to the camera. Guizo goes to turn it off. “Was it nice?”

Maybe Guizo doesn’t get what all the fuss is about because he’s just bad at kissing. 

“It was better than every other kiss I’ve had so far.”

“C’mon, man.” Xande rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. “That’s not a high bar to clear.” 

Guizo bites back a comment about how he can’t really see himself bothering to kiss anyone else unless it’s Xande. That would definitely be taken the wrong way. 

“I liked it.” He settles on instead. “Thanks again, man. Did you?”

“Ah, Gui,” Xande ducks his head, shy, “I did. But between you and me it was my first kiss, you know? I don’t have much to compare it to.”

Guizo almost drops his camera. 

“Xande!” He exclaims, voice pitching up with his distress. “Why would you—why would you say yes? It should’ve been with someone special!” 

Guizo doesn’t particularly feel strongly about that. But—especially after the teasing from his friends recently—he knows other people do. 

“You are special, Guizo.” Then he pauses, the words seeming to register. “Not in a gay way though, you know? But you’re my best friend.”

Guizo laughs, and claps his shoulder. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. You’re special to me, too.”

“And the girlfriend thing is still on the table, by the way.” Xande says. 

He knows it’s just Xande being nice. But it still makes discomfort prickle through him. 

And, well, if Xande isn’t going to drop it…

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” He tries to say it as casually as he can. Like it’s no big deal.

“Ah, okay.” Xande nods to himself. Like Guizo has just confirmed a suspicion of his. “So you are gay.“

“No! I don’t want a boyfriend, either! I think.”

“You think?”

Guizo messes with the camera settings, trying to relieve restless, agitated energy. 

“I’m happy with what I have, you know?” He says, trying to sound as certain as possible. Because he is certain. “I’m happy with filming, and messing around with occult stuff and aliens, and being with The Five. I’m happy with you being my best friend. I don’t need anything else.”

“Oh. Okay, I get it.” Xande looks a little chastised. “I’m sorry, Guizo, I just—“

“No, no, it’s fine.” Guizo sits down as a substitute for lying down in despair. “I know it’s weird. You’re taking it really well, honestly.”

Before this, Guizo was never really worried that any of his friends would assume he’s gay just because he’s not looking for a girlfriend. Was never worried that they might treat him differently because of it. 

But Xande drawing that conclusion and not calling him a slur and running for the hills is good news, at least. Not that Guizo would think he’d do that, but you never know with people sometimes. And it is nice to know even if it’s not actually relevant to him. 

“It’s not that weird…” Xande protests. 

He flicks all his camera settings back to normal. He could probably film some ground shots to add some tension. Low angles, make the viewer feel small—all that. 

“It’s not even normal weird like being gay.” Guizo counters, tilting the camera up and panning it to the side. “It’s just weird.”

Finally, Xande sits down next to him, and nudges Guizo’s shoulder with his. 

“Okay, it’s a little weird.” He agrees. “But we like weird, you know?”

“I mean, I’m not bothered by it.” Guizo doesn’t stop recording, but he does stop focusing on filming. He leans against Xande. “But I’m glad you’re not, either.” 

“Of course I’m not!” Xande throws an arm around his shoulder. “And, Guizo, I’m serious—if anyone starts giving you shit about it, you just give me the signal and I’ll step in, okay?”

“Thank you.” Guizo says with a laugh. “What should the signal be?”

“Man…” Xande hums, thinking. “You make eye contact with me?”

Guizo bats at him. 

“What if I do it accidentally?” 

“Ah, true…” Another pause as he thinks. “Make eye contact with me and say my name.”

“No, no, that won’t work, either.” He bats at Xande again. “What if they ask me who I have a crush on, you know? I can’t just respond by looking at you and saying your name!”

“Also true…” Xande nods absently. Another pause. “Maybe we think of something later, okay, Gui? I’m kind of hungry.” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Guizo stands up, and offers a hand to Xande. 

This went… better than he expected. Not that he particularly expected it to go a certain way until they started talking and dread filled him. 

Honestly, if it wasn’t for all the teasing after the kiss he probably wouldn’t have even known anything was weird with him until, like… at least another few years. Maybe if the others started dating, or getting married. 

Now, though? Now that it’s been brought up, it’s hard to ignore. His lack of desire—the elephant in the room. 

But at least he has Xande. 

——

messy little thing… you can probably tell I was trying very hard not to place them in a location pfft

but I hope you enjoyed \o/!!

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [5].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, someone cries again, mentions of bullying, mentions of sex. WORD COUNT. 3.9k

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi @certifiedmoa @blueberrgyuu0 @primantha @blu3bell4 @nunugget @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @captivq @tocupid @seosalad @ddazed-lhs @gyuszie @mifuyuyo @error-cant-function @twocupsofsuga @flowerbe0m @dangerousconnoisseurbanana @laviesm @keikeu @elavin @chaemmie @rikisly @satsuri3su @gyugyubin @junhuicosmo @skzenhalove @luvkpopp @yansbolobao @emer-syn @eggomi @drunkinjake @soobiverse @deobitifull @haechanspudu @yawnzzn27 @7myoi

NOTE. this is the soobin chapter. before anyone says anything, i also used to be a loser in high school so i am very qualified to write about this. anyway, please let me kmow what you think so far! ty for reading!

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 5 — staring contest of death.

SOOBIN HAS ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM. It’s quite a big problem— one that completely ruined his summer morning routine that usually starts at one in the afternoon. But it’s already 2 p.m. right now and he’s still laying on his bed, half of his head peeking out of the blanket as his eyes run over the text he received this morning over and over again from a group chat that’s been dead for a good three years. 

[Shin Jaeyul: hey class of 20XX! met up with jindo and the rest the other day and we thought it would be great if we can all get together again! hope you’ll all be available for the reunion. i’ll send the details after this message but it’s gonna be held at seonghee’s family’s hotel so feel free to bring a plus one lol.]

[Shin Jaeyul: What? ANSAN HS BATCH 20XX REUNION. When? This Saturday, 6:00pm. Where? Chatoyer Hotel, Sapphire Ballroom Function Hall

“Just don’t go, man. It’s not like your attendance is graded.”

When Soobin finally gets the energy to come downstairs to eat, he shows the text to Beomgyu for a second opinion. They’re eating yesterday’s leftovers on the patio outside the dining room. It doesn’t take long for the rest of the boys to congregate on the lounge chairs.

“But a reunion sounds fun!” Jake throws in his opinion. “I met up with my high school buddies at Crown Towers when I went to Melbourne the other day.”

“They weren’t your buddies. They invited you so you can pay for all their drinks and ditch you,” Heeseung tells him.

“Hey, Matthew was there and he was glad to see me.”

“Matthew borrowed eight hundred dollars from you last month and never paid back.”

Jake simply shrugs and snatches a cold slice of pizza from the table. Soobin gives him a look of remorse. “Anyway,” Jay jumps in. “Hyung, you should go if you want to and don’t go if you don’t want to. What do you want to do?”

Honestly, if Soobin can help it, he’d never want to see anyone from his old school ever again. And he’d rather stay at home and watch the latest episode of JJK on Saturday night (and every other night, for that matter). “But...it’s kinda rude if I don’t reply, right?” is what’s holding him back. The group chat has been buzzing every minute, messages of ‘see you there’s’ and ‘I’m so excited’s’ popping up one after the other. Only a few others including him haven’t replied yet. “What excuse should I make?”

“Tell them you have a family reunion to attend,” Sunghoon suggests.

“That’s lame. They’re gonna make fun of him,” Beomgyu scrunches his nose. Sunghoon defends with “what’s so wrong with a family reunion?!” but Soobin is inclined to believe that Beomgyu would be right. He didn’t exactly have a pleasant high school experience.

It’s not that he was actively bullied, or anything. He just didn’t have a lot of friends. And not a lot wanted to be his friend save for the members of the manga club he was in— but that didn’t really contribute to his position in the adolescent food chain. It’s not like he was sociable, either. He still isn’t. He was just lucky enough to get adopted by Beomgyu and managed to get along with the rest of the guys after a good two years of living here.

“Oh, then dude, you have to go!” Beomgyu exclaims. “If you don’t go they’re just gonna talk shit about you still being a loser.”

“I am a loser, though?” he says. 

“Yeah, but you’re tall and good looking and hot and that’s enough to get them to shut the fuck up if you show up and dip after thirty minutes. You know what, give me your phone. I’ll handle this.”

“No, wait—”

Beomgyu snatches the phone from his hands and plops down on the chair right across from him, the other four quickly running over and looking over his shoulders. Soobin’s heart races. This doesn’t seem like a good idea. He is right. It only takes a second before things spiral into disaster.

“Don’t say that. You gotta sound cooler.”

“Dude, that’s gonna get him bullied. Let me do it—”

“Give it to me!”

“You’re all useless, let me take over!”

“Wait, let me make one last revision—”

“No! What are you all doing?!”

When Soobin finally manages to steal his phone back, he nearly passes out when he reads the message he— his friends— just sent to the group chat.

[Count me in. Do I have to wire double the money if I bring my girlfriend? Nevermind, I’ll just send thrice the amount. Thanks :)]

Horror washes over his face. “I added the smiley face,” Jake proudly announces. Holy fuck, he wants to crawl back into his bed and never wake up. 

“Who sent that I’ll be bringing my girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend! Why did you say I’ll be bringing my girlfriend?!”

His phone vibrates mid-fit and he’s greeted by a reply saying that they’re so happy he’s coming and they can’t wait to see him again. Soobin is not happy nor is he excited. “We can just get you one,” Beomgyu says, as a matter-of-fact, as if you can just purchase a significant other from a gas station vending machine. His face wrinkles in distress. “When’s the reunion again? Saturday? Jakey, do you have any rich heiresses that can pretend to be Soobin hyung’s fake girlfriend for a night?”

“I’ll call Mirae noona, but hyung, are you alright alright with someone fifteen years old—”

Soobin winces. “Please don’t call her.”

“I can try asking Hina,” says Jay. “I don’t know if she has me unblocked yet, though.”

Heeseung narrows his eyes at him. “Isn’t she your ex?”

“Jay dated someone?” Sunghoon gives Jay a mildly offended grimace. “The fuck? Why don’t I know this?”

“He’s always dating someone. But he also gets dumped after three days so I’m not sure if they even count.”

Before they could further into Jay’s questionable dating history, the conversation gets cut short by a groan from Beomgyu. “Wait. We literally have a girl living with us right now.” His words send a signal into all their ears. It takes a moment for it to settle, and when it does, it’s like a thinly stretched rope snaps in half in the air.

Oh.

Right.

You.

“Are—are you sure about that?” Sunghoon is the first to crack the tension-filled silence. “Don’t we have other options?”

Soobin hears furtive whispering and nodding from Jake that somehow involves your name and the phrase “that’s right, she’s a girl, yes,” but chooses to ignore it and instead starts dreading the near and impending future. “It’d be better if it’s someone Soobin hyung already knows,” Beomgyu replies. “Hyung, what do you think?”

He thinks this is insane and bonkers and absolutely fucking impossible to pull off because he can’t even look you in the eye without sweating his skin off. How in the fuck he supposed to fake date you? To stand next to you? To call you with so much affection in front of numerous people he finds extremely uncomfortable to be with? To look at you? To h—

Oh god. He doesn’t have to hold your hand, does he?

“Hey, I don’t think this is fair. That’d mean Soobin hyung will technically—”

“This won’t count towards the bet,” Beomgyu says, then looks at a now red-faced Soobin. “You don’t mind right?”

Shit, he’d have to, right? But he can’t even look at you without his palms leaking like a faucet and stuttering like a broken machine. This is insane. He can’t do this. He can’t and won’t do this or else he’d actually have a heart attack and die.

“Hyung?”

“Is— is this all really necessary?” he finally sputters out.

They all look at him. “But we already sent the message.”

Right. They did. Soobin’s face falls defeated and he sinks back into the chair. “I’ll go grab her,” Beomgyu announces, and the gazes shift from him to their friend who has now risen from his seat and is walking back into the house because since when was he close enough with you to do that? You two usually bicker and argue and Soobin has seen the murderous intent in your eyes whenever Beomgyu tries to provoke you. Sure, the amount of daily arguments has definitely died down as of late and it’s mostly one-sided now, but if there’s anyone close enough to disturb your weekend for something stupid, it’d be Jake.

But they say nothing about it and watch as Beomgyu disappears inside and comes back out a minute later with you in tow, pulling you into the patio by the arm you as you grumble and groan, begrudgingly forcing your legs to follow him. “Seriously, what do you want? I was having a nice nap, you bastard. Where are you taking me? Hey, answer me. Are you still mad about the—” 

When you finally notice the rest of their presence, you stop complaining.

“What’s this? Are you having a cult meeting?”

Jake greets you with a smile. “Take a seat! We’ll explain everything.”

It’s almost impossible to glean anything coherent when there are five-ish boys talking at the same time, but you seem fine, nodding along to whatever Beomgyu and Jay are currently rambling into both of your years. Soobin grows increasingly worried by the second. “I’m so sorry. You really don’t have to do this.”

He hopes you don’t want to do this. Knowing how you practically terrorized him a few weeks ago for accidentally taking a bite out of your ice cream, you probably didn’t want to deal with him either. Yes. This is good. Soobin can just ignore the group chat and ghost his old classmates on the day of the event, so this is—

“I’m down,” you finally say. 

—what?

“You’re— you’re down?” he stutters out. He must have heard wrong, obviously. Haha, there’s no way you would—

“Yup. It’s this Saturday, right? I’m pretty sure I’ll be free, so it’s cool.”

Well, shit.

He’s fucked.

“Why do I feel like you’ve done something like this before?” Beomgyu shoots you a glare of suspicion. You grin. “Of fucking course you have.”

“Sunoo paid me a pretty convincing fee for me to sit pretty at his sister’s wedding,” you explain before shifting your gaze to Soobin, a smile playing on your lips. His fingernails dig into his palms. “Obviously for Soobin, I’ll do it for free. But we have a problem.”

His eyes flit away not even a second after, chest tightening on the spot.

“Yeah. I think we need to work on that.”

Thus begins the series of daily staring contests between the both of you for the next four days until Saturday. It scares the shit out of him when you bang on his door at random times of the day just to torment him with your very existence. Soobin knows you’re doing this to help him. He knows, he really does, but he’s not very good at maintaining eye contact without his heart racing at an unhealthy rate and without sweating profusely. His longest record has been ten and a half seconds before his face explodes like a volcano.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think this is gonna work.”

Soobin’s muffled voice is weak, red face buried into his palms as you both sit cross-legged on his mattress after another failed staring contest. The rows and rows of anime figurines he has displayed next to his bed are all staring at him in disgusting judgment. It’s now Friday. The reunion is tomorrow, and he can’t even look at you— much less pretend like you’ve been dating for the past six fucking months.

“No! You can do it, Soobin! I believe in you! Let’s try one more time, okay?”

You grab his hands, pulling them away from his face and they settle on his soft blankets, yours over his, and he starts silently freaking out because shit— holy shit, you’re squeezing his knuckles. It’s barely any pressure, but he feels it shooting into his throat like a silver snake choking him with ten pints of venom and that’s not even the worst part because you’ve decided to start looking him in the eye again. 

He rasps out a little noise and tilts his head down to the right. You do the same. He shifts his gaze to the left. You do the fucking same, chasing after his eyes relentlessly like a god damned predator on the hunt and he can feel his palms sweating pathetically into his blanket while you’re still locking them in place.

“Okay,” you breathe out, leaning back and he finally feels the blood circulating into his fingers. “What if we follow Jay’s suggestion instead and have you wear sunglasses the entire time?”

Honestly, it’s about time you gave up on him. 

Your eyebrows are scrunched, deep in thought. Soobin can look at you right now because you’re spacing out and not attacking him with the depth of your stare. He’s not used to attention in general, so something about your pretty eyes with pretty eyelashes and prettily focused expression looking directly at him just renders him completely useless. It’s fine when you’re absentmindedly looking at the posters on his wall, still in the midst of weighing your options. It’s fine because you aren’t focused on him.

“But the event is indoors and in the evening, so that won’t make a lot of sense.” And his composure immediately topples down when you flit your gaze back at him. His breath hitches in his throat. “Soobin, do you have any other ideas?”

He grabs the nearest pillow and squeezes it to his chest. “Do— do we have to do this? Can’t we just show up and leave after ten minutes?” Better yet, he just doesn’t show up at all. But you’ve been putting in so much effort these past few days, so he doesn’t want to cancel out of nowhere.

You frown. “Eye contact is the first step to selling that we’re a real couple! Even if we stay for only ten minutes, they’ll get suspicious if you can’t even look at me,” you tell him. “Soobin, let’s keep trying. C’mon.” 

Soobin is trying. He really is trying his best but one more round and he feels he might actually rupture a brain vessel. “Alright,” you exhale. “Nevermind. We’ll handle it somehow. I’ll head back to my room now so you can rest up. See you tomorrow.”

It takes no time for you to get off his bed and start walking to his door. His stomach sinks, watching your back as you reach out for the doorknob and Soobin feels like he had just disappointed you. 

He moves before his mind can think. Before he knows it, he’s out of the bed and is holding your wrist and pulling your hand away from the door. 

You look at him. He looks at you, drenched in the color of panic and confusion and at the same time a shade of earnest emotion. It stays like this for a good couple of seconds, until your lips curl into a smile and your free arm reaches up to his head, fingers dipping into his hair for a light pat.

“Thirty seconds. Good job. See you tomorrow.”

Now you completely understand why Soobin didn’t want to attend this dumpfest.

The hotel function room is fancy. Truly fancy. But the elegant crystal interiors and decor can’t hide the scent of pretentious obnoxiousness in the air, and the music siphoning through the speakers can’t drown out the sound of shit and crap and trash being exchanged between alleged old friends and classmates. It’s gross. The only saving grace of the night is the wine you’re swirling in your hand, regulating your slowly thinning patience at the scene before you.

“Soobin, buddy! Oh man, I didn’t think you’d make it!”

Here we go again. This is the what— fourth, fifth person? Soobin greets number five with less enthusiasm than the newcomer. He’s already worn out, poor boy. You prepare to intervene when you get an opening.

“Jaeyul,” Soobin says. “Hi.”

“It’s been a while, aye? You look great, man! What’s your glow up secret? You gotta tell men dude.”

Another patronizing comment from a mediocre looking male at best. They’re really lucky Soobin is an angel. You can see the discomfort in his smile when the Jae-something bastard hooks him by the neck, tugging your beanpole down because he’s at least four inches taller than his snotty ex-classmate. He looks even more uncomfortable than the time he got an unsolicited view of your red underwear. If it were you, you would’ve already kneed him in the balls to shut up his endlessly chattering mouth.

The guy’s gaze finally lands on you, tucked quietly behind Soobin’s shoulder. Took him long enough, honestly. You’ve been giving him the nastiest stare you can muster for the past five minutes, it’s honestly amazing that he only noticed now. “Who’s this?” he asks. Now, he’s just blatantly checking out someone else’s (fake) girlfriend. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to slip out.

Soobin straightens, ready to repeat the script he’s been cycling through since the beginning of the night. “O-oh, this— this is—” But he seems to be a lot more nervous now. You decide to take the reins and give him a break.

“I’m his girlfriend,” you give Jae-whatever a smile, stepping forward to hold onto Soobin’s arm, who in return flinches at your touch. “Hi. I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your whole reunion. It’s just that I can’t bear to be apart from my Soobin for too long, you know?”

You’re hoping that your sickeningly sweet tone disgusts the living hell out of him and drives him away, but for some reason he lacks the social awareness to do that. “No, not at all. In fact, completely understand. I’m a taken man myself, you know?” That makes this situation a million times worse. He momentarily shifts away from you and directs his next words to Soobin. “Do you remember Bitna? We started seeing each other a few months ago.”

You can feel him stiffen next to you. “Congrats. I’m happy for both of you.”

“Didn’t you used to have a crush on her? I remember you’d give her chocolates every valentine’s—”

The twitch in his grin doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Alright, enough of this bullshit. You’re done humoring this bastard.

“Oh, sorry!” he turns to you again. “That was tactless of me, oh no. I apologize.”

You press your lips together, still smiling. “It’s fine. I wasn’t really paying attention to the bullshit you’ve been tirelessly spouting. I was wondering when you’d shut your trap and finally fuck off.”

Soobin snaps his head towards you, eyes wide in alarm. His dear old friend looks equally shocked. You hum and maintain your expression, pressing yourself closer to Soobin. “Is Bitna the one looking at us right now? Oh dear.” Shot in the dark, but you hit the mark anyway. “Anyway, if you’ll excuse us. My boyfriend and I will be heading back to our suite now to have absolutely brain-shattering, mind-numbing sex for the rest of the night that you—from the looks of your girlfriend over there— won’t be having for the rest of the week if you’re lucky enough to salvage your relationship. It was nice meeting you!”

You can see Bitna stomping her way over to her boyfriend, carrying a palpable dark force in her wake, so you quickly tug Soobin away by the hand and make your quick exit out the function room and into the elevator. You’re aware of how Soobin is currently looking at you like you’re insane as you press on the lowermost button on the panel. His eyes are practically drilling into the side of your face.

“This— this isn’t the way to our room.”

“I know,” you reply, watching as the doors close in front of you. Jay booked a room to sell your whole schtick a little further, but looks like you won’t be able to use it. “We’re not going to our room. That is unless you actually want to follow through with what I said earlier?”

When you turn to look at him, he’s already drenched in pink. You hold back a laugh. They make it so easy for you to mess with them. “I’m joking. I doubt you’d want to spend a minute longer here, so let’s just dip. These clothes are getting stuffy.”

Somehow you found yourselves at the 7-Eleven outside your subdivision, overdressed and sharing a pint of ice cream and two beers under the empty store’s fluorescent lights. You stuff a spoonful into your mouth and let your gaze linger on him for a while. Soobin has his head down, quietly staring at the top of his beer can. With a face like that, you think he’d be more confident and outspoken, but it’s almost funny how he’s trying to scrunch up his large frame in the tiny seat in front of you.

Look, you’re simply tapping an index finger on the back of his hand and he immediately flinches and draws it back. He’s so shy, so timid that you can’t help but grow soft on him.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing he says since you left the hotel.

You rest your cheek against your palm. “For what?”

“I mean, it’s just that— you spent the past four days making sure I didn’t mess up our whole act, but I messed it up anyway and we ended up leaving early. I’m sorry for wasting all your time and effort like that. I’m—I’m really sorry for being so hopeless and pathetic and—”

“Hey, don’t say that,” you cut him off. “If there’s anyone that’s pathetic, it’s that Jaeyun? No, Jaeyun is Jake. It’s that Jae-something bastard who’s pathetic. I mean, was he not loved enough as a child? Does he have a disease that makes everything that comes out of his mouth unrecyclable trash? Anyway, if anything, it should be me and the rest of the boys apologizing for forcing you into this. I’ll help you guilt trip them later when we get—”

You stop. You stop because you notice how his eyes are getting a little red, and how they’re getting a little glassy, and how he’s nipping at his bottom lip that you’re afraid it might start bleeding.

“Oh. Oh no. Soobin, please don’t cry.”

And he starts crying. Well, fuck.

You hastily get out of your seat and plop down right next to him, letting his head drop down to your shoulder. He continues sniffling as you switch between rubbing his back and giving him pats on the head, staring blankly at the empty aisles because the last thing you expected to do today is comfort a grown man in a dingy convenience store while you’re in high heels and a strappy dress.

“Let’s have a movie marathon with the boys when we get back, okay?”

At least you’ve gotten better at consoling people. It seems like a useful skill to have for the rest of your stay.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | April 1st-7th 2024

MERRY WEEWOO EPISODE DAY!!! I had a fucking terrible stream so I feel like I missed like 90% of buddie's scenes.

No thoughts, head empty, so happy to FINALLY be done with this long ass recap 😆 my ao3 history is very much still fucked. Oh well. Also gonna have to make a separate post for the podfics cause the rec was getting too long, tumblr couldn't handle it 😂

There's a couple of new people in here and maybe some people who have changed URLs, so if you know someone who's not tagged, please tag them in the comments!

Love your tags, comments, reblogs, everything! <3 My ao3 inbox is being SUBMERGED with fics, it's the best problem to have 😂

Complete

I can finally breathe by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (S7E4 Coda, BuckTommy | <1K | General); Buck's oh moment when Tommy kisses him.

and with each one, i'm a little more free series by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S7E4, Coming Out):

oh, bi the way (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Maddie. whenever you're ready (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Bobby. welcome to the club (<1K | General): Buck comes out to Hen.

rebirth by renecdote/ @renecdote (S7E4 Coda | <1K | General): “Bisexual,” he says aloud, just to hear himself say it, to taste the way it feels on his tongue not just as a word but as an identity. It feels like an exhalation, trembling at the edges but not just with fear, or excitement, but with relief. Buck knows what it is like to be reborn, but he has never had a kiss make him feel like this before.

whenever you're ready by honestlydarkprincess (Post S7E4 Spec, Coming Out | <1K | General): Buck comes out to Bobby.

I won't tell no lie by lamardeuse/ @lamardeuse (Post S7E4 Spec, Tommy POV | 1K | Teen): Tommy can't exactly say he's surprised when he opens his door on a Sunday morning to see Hen Wilson standing there. He just wishes he'd thought to put on a cup first because he has a feeling he's about to get kicked in the nuts.

An End Has a Start by eirabach/ @eirabach (S7E4 Coda, Tommy POV, Tommy&Lucy | 1K | Teen): Tommy is one minute late. Hell of a minute, though.

tell me that i'm all you want (even when i break your heart) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (S7E4 Coda | 1K | General): “What’s going on?” “You tell me,” Eddie says, gently. “Buck mentioned you were being a little…odd.” To his surprise, Chris scowls. “I bet he did,” Chris mumbles, scoffing, half-under his breath. Eddie stares at him, taken aback. “Chris? What does that—” “I want you to tell him to leave.” or; buck, christopher and eddie in the aftermath of 7x04.

Sleepy Call by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Pre-Buddie, Fluff | 1K | General): OR: Eddie takes an early morning call.

to loosen his grip by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (S7E4 Spec | 1K | Teen): Eddie's not stupid, and Buck's about as subtle as a brick to the face on a good day. Speculation for 7x04: Buck, Bothered and Bewildered.

babbling brook to nowhere by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (S7E5 Spec | 1K | Teen): Eddie has not stopped talking since they left the restaurant. He thinks that he kind of blacked out during the actual dinner, because he’s not really sure what actually was discussed or how they even ended up sitting next to Buck and Tommy. But as soon as they got back into the truck, it was like the dam breaking loose. “I mean, it’s so great,” Eddie says once they’re back in his bedroom, as he takes his shirt off in the closet. He’s not even paying attention as Marisol perches on the edge of his bed. “They’re two of my friends, it’s awesome.” He’s happy for Buck, because Buck deserves to be with someone who gets him and will love him like he deserves. He just . . . “Is Tommy too tall for him?” Eddie asks. “Like, they’re the same height.”

my heart is working overtime by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (S7E4 Coda | 1K | Teen): He reaches for his phone again, then freezes halfway through his contacts when he realises he can’t call anyone to talk through this. Maddie would kill him for telling her something like this over the phone. For—coming out, he supposes, trying the words on for size. That’s something he does now. As— He hadn’t really stopped to consider it until now. Bisexual, he thinks, experimental, and it settles somewhere deep inside of him, like there’s been a space waiting for it all along.

“Pops, I’m bisexual.” “Hi bisexual, I’m Pops.” by Maximoff_Wanda (Post-S7E4, Coming Out | 1,4K | Not Rated): Or: Buck comes out to Bobby.

every little thing the sun shows, well it’s worth it by wafflesofdoom/ @capseycartwright (Post S7E4 | 1,6K | Not Rated): after his kiss with Tommy, Buck goes to Hen.

pythagoras made some points by crimsonclad (S7E4, BuckTommy | 1,6K | Not Rated): Look for the helpers! Sometimes they are all trying very hard to help each other be gay in the correct configurations and doing their best, mostly. Tommy takes Eddie to Urgent Care, takes him home, and carries a message elsewhere in the city of Los Angeles.

Buck's Boyfriends by Tizniz (Buck/Tommy/Eddie | 1,7K | Teen): He’s too drunk to figure out the logistics right now. “I think I’ve been dating both of you.” OR: The one where Buck realizes he's dating Tommy and Eddie.

smile at me like you smile at him by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7E4 Spec, Getting Together | 1,8K | Teen): Buck hadn’t planned on doing anything to show his displeasure at the sudden friendship between Eddie and Tommy, despite the fact that it sent hot, furious jealousy coursing through his veins. Really, he hadn’t. It’s just…well, he was just going for the ball during their basketball game…unfortunately Eddie happened to get pushed out of the way in order for Buck to get said ball.

only need the light when it's burning low by fallingthorns (Post-S7E4 | 2K | Teen): Buck blinks and realizes that he could love Tommy, if he didn't already love Eddie.

you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by ummrys (S7E4 Spec | 2K | Teen): Or, Buck gets a little (a lot) jealous of Eddie's blossoming friendship with Tommy Kinard, and makes some bad decisions about it.

detours by oklahoma/ @sunshinediaz (Post-S7E4, 2K | Teen): “Take a detour,” he says, instead. “There’s construction on Sunset.” “Maybe one of these days there won’t be,” Buck says, smiles, and takes his leave. - Eddie and Buck have a talk. They somehow say everything and nothing at all.

Every Night I Come to You by giselleslash/ @gigi-gigi (S5, Love Confessions | 2K | General): Eddie has another sleepless night, but Buck is there. He'll always be there.

Family Feud: First Responders by Princessfbi/ @princessfbi (Secret Relationship | 3K | General): The FireFam go on Family Feud.

Right In Front of Me by Princessfbi (S7E5 Spec, BuckTommy | 3K | General): Tommy’s brows knitted together as his mouth turned down with worry. “Evan,” he said and Buck wanted to hear him call his name so many more times. “What happened? Did someone choke you?” “That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Buck said, clearing his throat again when his voice gave an embarrassing squeak.

inescapable (i’m not even gonna try) by buddiebuddie/ @buddie-buddie (BuckTommy, PWP, Post-S7E4 | 3K | Explicit): From that first press of Tommy’s lips against his— the moment when the pieces slid into place and something bloomed in Buck’s chest and hummed in his veins— he felt good, and grounded, and settled in a way he never had before. It’s been a few weeks, and the newness has worn off but the excitement hasn’t. The hunger hasn’t.

I would be lying if I said I'm not dying to worship you by Daughter_of_Scotland (Post-S7E4 | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Tommy have their first date. This is how it ends. (It ends really, REALLY well)

somethin' tells me you know why i lie by lecornergirl/ @clusterbuck (Madney Wedding Spec, BuckTommy | 3K | Teen): OR: buck brings tommy to the madney wedding. eddie is absolutely, definitively not jealous.

Never Saw It Coming...Or Did He? by Tizniz (PWP, Daddy/Mommy Kink | 3K | Explicit): Unable to deny his boyfriend anything, Eddie does. And his jaw promptly falls to the floor. Because Buck is standing there with that goddamn basketball under his shirt again. The clothing is stretched tightly over the round of what Eddie’s mind pretends is Buck’s belly. Pregnant belly. OR: The one where Eddie is 'Daddy' and Buck is 'Mommy'

sunbeam that hits at three to noon by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Madney Wedding, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): or, having multiple wedding reservations under the same name was an accident waiting to happen and buck’s just trying not to jumpscare his best friend with the rather intense bridal suite decor in their very platonically shared hotel room

as lucky as us by hammersmiths/ @bucktommys (S7E4, Ravi POV | 3K | General): One of the first things Ravi learned when joining the 118 was to, under no circumstances, think too hard about Buck and Eddie’s relationship. But brother, they could try make his job easier.

soothe the ache in me by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7E4 Spec | 3K | Teen): Or, the one where Buck gets a headache while trying to take care of Eddie and Chris after Eddie's injury.

i'm a fine baby mama (but you knew that though) by colonoscopys (S7E4 | 4K | Teen): Look—Buck’s not jealous, per say. He’s just a little confused as to how you can spend the past five years being best friends with someone, and then find someone new to replace him in the span of a couple of playdates.

You’re too Sweet For Me by Garden_Haunter (Buck Coming Out, Post S7E4 | 4K | Teen): Tommy kisses Buck, and it tastes like freedom. (Or: Buck comes out to different members of his family.)

Nightcap by Inell (S7E5 Spec, PWP | 4K | Explicit): After their first date goes a bit astray, Buck invites Tommy to his loft for a nightcap. 

some things fall when they're meant to fall by sibylsleaves/ @sibylsleaves (S7E5 Spec | 4K | Teen): or, Buck tells Eddie some news. Eddie has a realization and breaks up with his girlfriend. Not necessarily in that order.

before you painted all my nights by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Canon Divergent, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): In hindsight, maybe jerking off to a LAFD Calendar when Eddie was well on his way to become a firefighter himself… might not have been the best idea. He never really thought about the possibility of actually crossing paths with the person that's been starring every wildest dream and filthy fantasy of his.

’til storm breaks loose by markofalover/ @markofalover (S7E4 Spec | 6K | Explicit): He squeezes Buck’s bare, sun warmed skin before he drops the contact, and strolls over to where Chim and Tommy are waiting. If he stands a little too close to his teammate, well. He’ll never admit it. Buck comes back into his line of vision, already back to looking like he’s a second away from stomping off the court. Eddie’s giddy with it. …or, how an elbow to the face changes everything.

the art of making love. by dylaesthetics (Rommates, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): OR Buck’s loft gets flooded, making him temporarily move in with Eddie, who’s out and about dating guys now, apparently, and Buck tries to figure out why the hell the thought makes him sick.

no more mistakes, no more empty starts. by dylaesthetics (S7E5 Spec, Feelings Realization | 7K | Teen): Throughout his life, Buck has felt that something’s been missing. Some integral part of who he is, outside firefighting, outside the family he has built for himself, outside the trauma that keeps on piling up and overburdening his shelves. He doesn’t expect to find it in the dimness of his loft’s kitchen one Tuesday evening, the taste of a man still on his lips and his cologne lingering in the air, sweet and honest and real.

ain't no lie (bi bi bi) by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S7E4 Spec, Eddie/Tommy | 8K | Explicit): Eddie fools around with Tommy, Buck is jealous, Tommy's just trying to have a good time

skin/heat/hair in your mouth by fleetinghearts (Getting Together | 8K | Explicit): or, eddie’s bad at camping, buck’s trying to make sure he doesn’t get hypothermia, and naked huddling for warmth is only like the third gayest thing happening in the great outdoors

now our love lives in the radio by heartbeatdiaz / @loserdiaz (University AU | 9K | Explicit): buck is the host of a college radio show and eddie has a big fat crush on him, what else can i say? featuring cinderella references and a bunch of himbos from buck's football team. 

teach me how to dance with you by goodboybuck (prettyboybuckley)/ @prettyboybuckley (BuckTommy, PWP | 9K | Explicit): OR: Buck explores the wonders of gay sex (slowly, with a really patient, sweet Tommy guiding the way and while having a lot of fun)

the mouth is the thing that craves by Underhung_Aura (Established Buddie, PWP | 11K | Explicit): eddie loves buck and he really love buck's cock

when i think about you (i touch myself) by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (PWP, Getting Together | 12K | Explicit): Or: the one where Eddie stumbles across Buck's old amateur porn, prompting a series of belated realizations on both their parts.

honey, when you call my name by HungryHungryHippo/ @hippolotamus (Post S5E11 | 12K |Explicit): Eddie witnesses the Buck/Lucy kiss, has himself a little panic, and decides to do something about it when Buck does his Buck thing and won't stop pushing Eddie's buttons 

🔥 of men and of angels by extasiswings/ @extasiswings (Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 13K | Teen): Eddie Diaz learns a lot as a kid. Boys aren’t soft. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t kiss boys. As he gets older, he realizes that everything has exceptions. Boys can be soft sometimes. Boys can cry sometimes. And some boys kiss other boys. But Eddie likes kissing girls. And since he likes kissing girls, that’s the end of the story. Isn’t it?

🔥 what humans do by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Getting Together, PWP | 18K | Explicit): "…and the thought that she had just escaped death by such a narrow margin made me realize the intensity of my feelings toward her.” Eddie swallows. “‘What’s the matter?’ I couldn’t tell her, so I kissed her instead,” Buck goes on, and since Eddie’s eyes are focused on the page, they drift ahead a little bit, and the next few lines have him swallowing once again, taking his hand back to brace himself against the mattress as he slowly starts to push himself up to sit. “Kissing is what humans do when words have reached a place they can’t escape from. It is a switch to another language. The kiss was an act of defiance, maybe of war. You can’t touch us, is what the kiss said. ‘I love you,’ I told her, and as I smelled her skin, I knew I had never wanted anyone or anything more than I wanted her…” Buck trails off when Eddie reaches for the book, gently luring it out of his grasp. 

WIP

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 6/18 | 37K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

Both Bermuda and Golden (Lost but Doing Just Fine) by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (PWP, Threesome, BuckTommyEddie | 4/6 | 20K | Explicit): In which everyone has two hands and two holes and is keeping their options fluid. (Or: a collection of threesome fics.)

Fifteen First Kisses by tinygiantsam/ @watchyourbuck (Getting Together | 2/15 | 3K | Mature): Why would you have only one first kiss when you could have fifteen This is a collection of 15 different first kisses between Buck and Eddie.

[fairytale-poll]

SEMIFINAL ROUND, MATCH 1 OUT OF 2!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Mofurun as “Mofurella”

listen. they do an episode where they’re all sucked into Cinderella and they make the trans teddy bear Cinderella. Incredible story writing, 10/10, no notes.

Mofurdella is even plot relevant, that episode is how they get the Rainbow Carriage for their group attack anyway MOFURDELLA FIRST CINDERELLA PRECURE EPISODE TO GET ONE MOFURILLION VOTES

Ella of Frell:

She’s had a “gift” of obedience placed on her, and her quest is to figure out how to get rid of it. I love her

he’s under a curse that makes her obey any order given to her. She met her Prince Charming (Char) when they kids, and they became friends. Her stepsisters found out about her curse while they were at boarding school, and because of that (and some things they made her do) she ran away to try and find the fairy that cursed her. When she does, the fairy says that she doesn’t do magic anymore, because she realized her gifts were actually curses, and refuses to remove it. Ella goes back, and is eventually demoted from “lord’s daughter” to “maid”. She still writes letters to Char (currently in a foreign kingdom, but before that, when he came to try and talk to her, her sister forbid her from leaving her room so she would have all his attention), but eventually stops and even writes a fake letter from her sister to convince him that she never cared/doesn’t care about him, because she realized it would be too dangerous for them to be together; with her curse, she could easily be made to hurt or kill him. Flash forward, and Char returns home. The king throws balls, and she goes, because even if she can’t be with or let him know who she is, she just wants to see him again. Char is drawn to her, and for a lot of the three balls, they’re together. At the end, her stepsister gets jealous, and right as Char proposes (because Ella, despite having to lie about her identity, is the most honest person at the ball and a friend already), she grabs her mask, revealing her identity. Char reaches her home before she can leave, and there’s a whole scene where he finds out she’s a scullery maid, that the letter was a lie, and says that she doesn’t have to be Ella if she doesn’t want to be, and she says she’s not, and he asks if she loves him, and she does– and then it’s all ruined because he accidentally orders her to marry him, and then her stepmother tells her to, and all the while she’s fighting the curse, because she doesn’t want to endanger him and their nation, and doesn’t want her step family to be rich and powerful, and finally– she says no. She gets so excited to say no, to refuse, that she didn’t even fully realize she broke the curse until Mandy (her fairy godmother) tells her. Anyway, they all lived happily ever after. Ella is one of my favorite Cinderellas ever and I really hope I did a good job of explaining her and what her story is about (it’s been a while since I’ve read the book)

I was so enraptured with this book as a kid, it had such an impact on my young mind. Got me into fantasy.

BEST CINDERELLA!!! please use the picture from the book cover and not the movie 🙏

She breaks her curse spell in such a magnificent way. Like yes she embodies the whole “kindness” and “courageous” characteristics that Cinderellas are known for, but for her she’s been forced to be obedient as well. And while she thinks can rise above anything she soon learns she will just hurt so many more people that way. She chose to be self-sacrificing because it was the one way she could express her love that wouldn’t harm anyone (then). But! But! She also ends up getting to be selfish! And that is also a great kindness! To herself and to those whom love her and she loves in return.  All that after she breaks the curse.

She can mimic languages. :) She refused to marry the love of her life and thus broke her curse. :) She fell in love via letters. :) She lied to the royal family that orange carriages are very popular in a nearby city.

brave, smart, a linguist, a nerd, she evolves steadily and beautifully throughout the book, with a sharp voice that never stops being distinctive and fun to hang with.

complex character coool as fuck premise and also. the nostalgia of it all

[faynthearted]

is this a safe space? because I need to have a (positive) rant but I might seem a bit unhinged in the process

but please, for the love of god, if you're a tianshan and/or He brothers fan and you're dying from the lack of 19 days content lately, let me put you on to something.

I've been trying not to talk about it because this show is a guilty (and nostalgic) pleasure of mine, but for the last week or two I've been obsessively rewatching teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)

HEAR ME OUT. 🫵🏼

it's a nickelodeon show, yes, I know, but please. hear me out before you make a face, lol!

tmnt is one of those shows that had an established fanbase before its release so not only is the quality of the animation excellent, but the voice actors and writers do such an amazing job. the plot is well-planned and intentional, the show gets notably better as it goes on because of its growing success with its audience (it gets very obvious budget increases for each season lol), and the relationships. oh my god the characters' relationships. they're so top tier.

if you know me from my tianshan fics, you know that I'm obsessed with strained, resentful, angsty relationships that slowly improve as the characters learn to trust each other while experiencing strife and mutual trauma. it's practically the foundation of tianshan, and it's also the definition of the brother-brother relationship between raphael and leonardo in tmnt. and it's so fucking delicious every single time.

I don't want to spoil too much in case anyone actually reads this post and decides to watch tmnt for the first time, but basically at the beginning of the show (and in all other adaptations of tmnt, as far as I'm aware) raphael resents the fact that leonardo is made the leader of their team. they butt heads all the time, they can never agree, raph is a stubborn/reckless hothead and leo is (occasionally) an insufferable, self-righteous golden child in their family. they’re literally red vs blue — their dynamic could not be more oppositional.

but at the same time, they're each other's right-hand man??? it's complicated. as the two oldest(?) siblings in the family (as well as the most skilled siblings), they kinda need each other and they hate that they do — at least raph does. and for a while, their relationship goes up and down over and over again until bam — ✨trauma✨. and I won't spoil what the trauma is. but it's so fucking delicious. the cinematography and voice acting of certain scenes in the season finales keep me up at night

for a nickelodeon show, I'm impressed by the depth of the plot and characters. it's very reminiscent of the complexity of atla's plot and characters. and yes, I've only mentioned raph & leo's relationship so far, but that's only because I tend to hyperfixate on two characters in every fandom I'm in, lol. but all the characters are so meaningful and the brothers' relationships with each other make me want to slam my head against concrete because it makes me feel so much. especially raphael and michelangelo's relationship, too. iykyk.

the show is so silly but also so angsty and also so stupid but also so sincere. the vibes really do remind me of 19 days in so many ways. the boys in tmnt are 15 years old, much like the boys in 19 days. michaelangelo is basically jian yi and raphael is basically guan shan. leonardo is kinda like zheng xi, if zheng xi was more assertive and expressive. but no one's like he tian, lol. sorry. he's a beast of his own. (unless, maybe, another character named karai is comparable to him? you tell me).

anyway. whatever the voice actors, writers, and animators were getting paid throughout the show's production wasn't fucking enough. there was clearly so much heart put into the show because tmnt has been a beloved franchise for a long time and nickelodeon was not messing around when they decided to take it on.

another bonus point is that the episodes are only 20ish minutes long, there are 20+ episodes in every season, there are 5 seasons, and the show is completed. you won't be left on a cliff hanger. you can binge to your heart's content like I've been doing. and usually the season finale episodes are longer than the normal ones (they're split into two parts), which always means shit goes down. god it's so fantastic.

if you decide to watch tmnt and know nothing about it, I recommend you do not seek out spoilers. because there are many spoilers and plot twists. push through the cringe and silly moments (much like we sometimes have to do with 19 days lol) and eventually you'll get to the heart of the characters/plot. and my god, it's so worth it!

tmnt was the first fandom I ever wrote fanfic for, over a decade ago. I was watching it as episodes were being actively released on a weekly basis. and it's been so long since I've touched the tmnt fandom, so it feels like I'm watching the show for the first time again. I only have vague memories of significant plot points/scenes, so it's been such a ride to slowly remember how everything plays out. and I'm kicking myself for not rewatching tmnt sooner, because I clearly forgot how special it was to me at a certain point in my life!

the show is so feel-good and relaxing (but it does have its stressful moments, don't get me wrong). if you've got time to spare, give it a shot and let me know what you think! I'm only at the beginning of season 3, so I'm still working through the episodes myself! :)

if you want to know where you can watch it for free, DM me! <3

[dreamchasernina]

Kataang could have been developed more after The Invasion Kiss but on the other hand it is important that katara hugged him after the defeat and stood very proud next to him when he thanked everyone for participating. Then they were very chill sitting next to each other in the western air temple and even in sozins comet part 1 after their biggest fight so far they stood next to each other in their group hug and katara watched him training when zuko taught him how to redirect lightning. If aang was really such an incel or simp like people make him out she would try to avoid him at all costs but she didn't.

I agree with you, if Katara was at any point uncomfortable by Aang's advances...actually, the only two advances he has ever made at her, she would definitely distance herself from him, or, knowing Katara, would just talk to him. Of course even after the kiss at the invasion Katara is comfortable with Aang. It wasn’t even their first kiss, they canonically kissed in the cave of two lovers!

Don’t even get me started on the topic of people calling Aang an incel HOLY SHIT that is a different level of dumbassery, please. I don’t even know where it’s coming from. The way Aang kissed Katara in the invasion? Well let’s see, Sokka kissed Suki THE EXACT SAME WAY IN THE SERPENTS PASS AND NO ON EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. So please tell me, how the way Aang kissed Katara is any different from the way Sokka kissed Suki?

Plus people who call him an incel think he forced Katara to be with him, bothered her after she told him to stop multiple times. And please, what show are you people watching? Aang never lets Katara know he has feelings for her until the invasion episode!!! Where exactly is the forcing? Where exactly is Katara turning him down? Are you making stuff up?

The kiss in the cave was initiated by Katara, Aang didn't let her know of his feelings for her. If she knew he liked her, she wouldn’t be offended when Aang tells her he wouldn’t want to kiss her. She's offended because Aang makes her think he doesn't like her...why would that offend her if she herself didn't like him, and didn't want him to like her back?

The first time Aang EVER shows Katara he has feelings for her is halfway through the third season! And the only time Katara turns his advances down is in the last episode before the finale, after which we never even see them together. Aang totally backs off until she’s the one who kisses him in the finale.

The whole time Aang is pining for her secretly. He just has a crush on her, and even that is exaggerated by the haters. It's not like they don't have a relationship outside this crush. The crush is such a minor detail in their relationship. They have mutual respect, trust, they're each other's moral compass and biggest supporter. Aang's crush on Katara comes up in 13 episodes out of 61! I literally counted! And I counted every tiny thing like Aang blushing at Katara in City of Walls and Secrets, something that lasts 1 second. MOST of those crush moments are so tiny and have little to no impact, but even counting those, it only comes up to 13 episodes! And some of them don't even include Katara in them, like The Guru. So if the crush is not referenced or mentioned in 80% of the show, how exactly is Katara pressured or pursued constantly, to the point where she has to tell him to stop? Did the turning him down get lost somewhere between all the kisses on the cheek Katara gives him throughout the show?

Look, I would take all that criticism seriously, but literally anyone who ever said that is a ZK shipper. Which just makes it disingenuous, because they’re only saying all that stuff to prove their ship should've been canon...which in no way makes it canon anyway so what's the point for all this hate? I just don't get it for the life of me.

[purpleshimmer]

ACT II THOUGHTS - MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

Episode 4

JINX AND ISHA ARE SOOO CUTEEEEE

Girl go to your rally…..

Singed what are you doing here

I love all the Jinx outfits + hair everyone is doing

ISHA AND SINGED AWW

The Warwick sequence is so so cool wow

YOU CAN SEE HER BLUE HAIR THAT HELMET IS HARDLY DOING ANYTHING THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT

Star Wars ass prison break in

Oooo the Jinx and Warwick fight scene is dope

“POWDER” I’M GOING TO CRY

Episode 5

Jinx and Vi teamup YAYYYY

Caitlyn looks so fine in that cape 

I’m crying this Caitlyn and Singed interrogation is literally the soyjack vs chad meme

MEL NOOOOO

KINO?????????

Aww :(

Vi looks so good hello

Noooo Singed don’t do it

He’s planning something; there's no way he’s actually teaming up with her. Right.

SINGED’S DAUGHTER? YOUNG SILCO? THERE’S SO MUCH HAPPENING 

What.What are they implying here. Guys if they’re actually going to prove the “Mel is pregnant” theory right I’m going to sell all my Arcane merch and rate the season 0 stars

Where was Singed getting the funding to do all this 

Caitlyn is actually making me mad this season man

You’re telling me Kino was in this prison with literally nothing to do for like 20-30 years and never realized there was a puzzle on the wall, but Mel went in there and found out in like 5 minutes😭

Of course it wasn’t her brother I’m stupid actually.

“Sister??” What is going on I do not like this Black Rose plotline I’m sorry there’s too much going on

VANDER AND SILCO FLASHBACK YAY

HELP SILCO’S REACTION

Old Silco was fine as hell but so is younger Silco like woah

And now I’m crying again!

JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE WITH BEARD JAYCE

Huh. How is Viktor speaking through Salo what

Once again….this is too muchhhh I need to make a separate post about this bc it’s really bothering me 

JAYCE WHAT THE HELL😭

Episode 6

Dude what is thisss stop

I don’t like this.

He never gave a fuck about Sky before why is she suddenly such a big part of his motivations and talking to him now. I know he feels bad about accidentally killing her but why are they besties now what

I don’t like this space thing at all it’s too weird I’m sorry

Mfw the show called “Arcane” has magic in it I guess: 😠

Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Isha please don’t take the gemstone lol. Isha. I’m begging you please put that down.

Guys I’m worried!

Am I just a hater or is anyone else getting pissed off at the wacky hextech speaking-to-people-in-their-minds thing

AND I'M SORRY I DON’T HATE SKY BUT WHY IS SHE HERE. AM I MISSING SOMETHING

JINX AND VIKTOR TEAMUP REAL???? RARE CORRECT FAN PREDICTION HOORAY!

Actually stop with the space hextech thing it’s making me MAD 

I’m sorry I don’t mean to complain so much I love this show but I actually cannot stand this please forgive me

IT JUST FEELS SO CORNY

Ooo I like this watercolor animation

Singed whyyyy 

OKAYYYY CAITLYN 

Jayce are you good buddy….?

JAYCE NO!

Am I stupid why did he kill him….is it just because he thought he went to far with Hextech and the crazy hallucinations he was having? That can’t be it? Did he not mean to kill him? I am so lost rn 

VANDER :(

The music that played in s1e3 when he fought Silco in the cannery :(

I KNEW ISHA WAS GOING TO DIE BUT THAT WAS SO SAD 

[tightjeansjavi]

In the Warmth of Your Love

part II of Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Chapter one | “can’t quit you, baby”

A/N: to kick off my 1 year celebration of writing fic…we’re going right back to my roots! 🤭 to my devoted Gwen & Joel fans, this one is for y’all! I wrote this back in October after taking a looong hiatus from the series. The original path was to pick up on chapter 17 and continue to follow the path of the show. I decided that trying to essentially rewrite the events that take place after Bill & Franks episode was just too much for me to handle. I knew I wanted to continue Joel & Gwen’s story, but I didn’t know what that would end up looking like!

In the Warmth of Your Love takes place after the events in the hospital.

~word count: 3.1k~

Summary: a glimpse into your new life in Jackson with Joel.

Pairing | joel miller x f!oc

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, established relationship, found family, age gap, (oc is in her early 30’s and Joel is in his 50’s) unprotected piv, pining, cock warming, dirty talk, praise kink, domestic intimacy, they’re so in love it hurts, +18 minors dni!

series masterlist

“Swear to me.”

“Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true, Joel.”

“I swear.”

_

6 months had passed since you and Joel murdered every single Firefly in the Salt Lake City hospital. 6 months since Joel swore to Ellie that everything he told her about the Fireflies was true. That they had stopped looking for a cure, and raiders attacked the hospital. That there were more people like Ellie that were immune.

It was all a lie. One that you and Joel carried on your shoulders everyday. As Ellie’s guardians, you and Joel made the decision that you both felt was the right one.

“Jesus fuck, Joel. What the hell did you do?” Tommy asked his brother the day after the three of you showed back up on Jackson’s doorstep.

“I did what I had to do. I protected her. I saved her. I killed every last person that stood in the way of me getting to Ellie. They were going to kill her, Tommy. They were going to kill her and I—we couldn’t let that happen. Ellie didn’t want to die. I know she didn’t because she fuckin’ told me before we were ambushed. I killed Marlene. I killed the doctor who was going to perform the surgery. I killed them all.” Joel admitted.

Tommy scrubbed a hand down his face with a heavy sigh as he sank back against the chair. “And Gwen? What was her role in all of this?”

“She killed them too. We did it together.”

“Does..Ellie know the truth?” Tommy already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from Joel’s mouth first.

“No, she doesn’t. And she never will know what happened in that hospital. She can live her life the way she deserves to. She can make friends and be happy for once in her fuckin’ life.”

“Joel, I can’t have two murders livin’ in town. Maria won’t stand for it, and you know that brother.”

“Tommy, please. I’m your brother, for fuck’s sake. Gwen and I only did what we felt was right. Wouldn’t you do the same if it was your kid? You don’t have to tell Maria the truth. Don’t we deserve a second chance at peace too?”

“It doesn’t matter what the fuck I would have done in that situation Joel! You—you fucking murdered an entire hospital of Fireflies! This town doesn’t condone violence, and if anyone were to ever find out—”

Joel was leaning forward in his chair, his hands clasped together as he looked at his brother, right in his eyes with pure desperation in his deep brown irises. “I’ll be carryin’ that burden for the rest of my fuckin’ days. You’ve killed people too, Tommy. Just because you’ve been living here with a loving wife, and a baby on the way, doesn’t mean that the blood on your own goddamn hands gets erased. Listen to me, okay? Gwen is a good fucking person. She’s got a huge heart and she deserves a second chance too. She’s good with horses, and I can help you with any of the heavy lifting shit that gets done around here. Please, Tommy. Please let us stay.”

Tommy stared right back at his brother and deep down he knew he couldn’t turn him away, no matter how hard he tried.

“Okay. All three of you can stay, under one condition. You never, and I mean never speak about what happened at that hospital to anyone. You hear me Joel? Never.”

“I swear on my life that I will never speak about it again. You have my word Tommy.”

_

Maria was no idiot and Tommy knew this all too well about his wife. “They’ll stay in the house they were in the last time they came through here. Joel said that Gwen has worked with horses before and can help out around the stables, and Joel can help me with fixin’ things ‘round here. He’s really good with that stuff.”

“We have enough mouths to feed as it is Tommy. I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Maria, Joel is my brother. He’s been through hell, all three of them have. I’m not going to turn them away so can we please come up with a compromise here?”

“Fine. I just don’t want Joel or Gwen near any weapons. If they’re going to live here, then they’re going to abide by our rules. Ellie will go to school with the rest of the kids and I expect Gwen to also help out with food prep and the Tipsy Bison. Joel can help you with the handiwork projects, and in time he can help out on patrol.”

“Ellie will probably end up fighting tooth and nail to not go back to school, but I’m sure we can work that out.”

-

In the early mornings you were helping out in the stables. Feeding the horses, mucking stalls, and grooming. It was easy enough to fall back into a routine that you had known so well from your teen years. You knew horses better than anyone in Jackson did, and you were beyond grateful at being given a fresh start. Your afternoons were spent in the mess hall kitchen. Prepping vegetables and breaking down chickens for dinner. Food was abundant in a place like this, and you weren’t sure if you would ever grow used to the feeling of no longer having to starve.

Your evenings after dinner were spent at the Tipsy Bison, working behind the bartop with Tommy. If there was one thing the men in Jackson loved, it was a pretty woman serving them whiskey after a long day out on patrol. At the end of each day there was only one man you wanted to see in your bed, and that man was Joel; your Joel.

These days you hardly saw him or Ellie. Your schedules were different. With Ellie at school and working at the stables in the afternoon, and Joel helping Tommy in the mornings, and then patrolling through the evening, there was barely any time for you to spend together. He still held you at night through his exhaustion, but he too missed the way things used to be.

The days flew by, summer had come and gone. The seasons changed and the air grew colder, and the nights grew longer.

You had just finished wiping down the bartop after the last of the stragglers headed home for the night. You carefully placed every bottle of liquor back onto the shelf before scrubbing the glasses clean. The record player crackled in the background, Led Zeppelin's ‘I Can’t Quit You Baby’ a rock n’roll classic. You hummed the tune, swaying your hips subconsciously to the low beat.

The door to the Tipsy Bison swung open on the hinges as you let out a sigh, not looking up from the table you were wiping down. “We’re closed for the evening. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

“I don’t wanna anythin’ to drink.” Joel rasped as he closed the door behind him.

“Joel? What are you doing here?..it’s late, shouldn’t you be at home?” You looked up at him through thick lashes.

“Couldn’t sleep. Decided to go for a walk, n’ended up here. I miss you..so much. Hardly get to see much of ya at all. Jus’ thought we could spend some time together, even if it’s gotta be in a place like this.”

“I miss you too, Joel. You know I do.”

“I know, baby. I know.” He paused as his gaze fell upon your exhausted face, and tired eyes. “S’that Zeppelin playin?’” He rested his elbow along the high top you had just wiped down.

“Yeah, one of the patrol guys found it for me in an abandoned house a few miles west. It’s got a few scratches but is otherwise in fair shape.”

“Mm.” He hummed under his breath. “S’you got admirers then? Can’t say I blame ‘em. Pretty thing like you servin’ them whiskey all night? How do ya keep ‘em at bay?” His brow raised in curiosity.

“With this.” You slipped your knife from the holster hidden under your shirt with ease. “Tommy keeps them on a tight leash anyway. They know not to try anything funny.”

“Breakin’ the rules already? Maria said no weapons, sweetheart.” He leaned forward along his elbow as his fingers reached out and brushed against the worn hilt of your knife. He could just barely make out your carved initials through the thick wood. “You tell ‘em that you're mine? That you’re Joel’s girl, and that if any of ‘em ever were to—”

“Joel, relax. No one has tried anything past harmless flirting. Everyone knows that you and I..we’re an item. What Maria doesn’t know won’t kill her. My knife is a safety net that I’m just not ready, nor willing to give up right now.”

“We’re more than an item, Gwen. We’re partners for life. I know your knife is your safety net. I know it is, baby. S’why I still sleep with a gun under my pillow. Knowin’ it’s there helps calm me, but the one person that keeps my nightmares at bay ain’t home. She’s not in bed with me cus’ she’s here servin’ whiskey all night to men that probably fantasize about what it’s like to be with a woman like you.” He breathed out and you could taste his warm breath along your unkissed lips.

“Of course we are Joel. I got you, you got me. That hasn’t changed, and it never will. We’re both in this adjustment period and it’s tough. I’d much rather be at home with you and Ellie, but Maria said I had to ‘pay’ my dues.” You gently placed your knife along the smooth wooden surface of the table. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can get you to drink, Mr. Miller?”

“If you’re on the menu for tonight, then that’s what I’ll be havin.’”

“I believe we might be all sold out of that for tonight. Let me go check in the back just to be sure.” You were already turning on your heel to walk away before you felt his warm and calloused palm wrap around your wrist, halting you from taking another step.

“Ain’t you got a little love left for me? When’s the last time I’ve tasted those lips, hm?” He gently coaxed you to step towards him, and once you were close enough, his hand released your wrist and found purchase around your hip through muscle memory. His fingers flexed as his thumb slipped through the belt loop on your jeans. “Y’remember that night after teachin’ Robert a lesson? When we fucked in that back alley without a care in the goddamn world if FEDRA would catch us or not? Remember when we would..have fun? Don’tcha miss that?”

“I’ve always got love left for you Joel. I can’t remember the last time we kissed without us thinking it would be the last time. I do remember that night, just as if it had happened yesterday.” Your hands found themselves resting along his shoulders, squeezing them gently through the material of his worn jacket. In the low lighting your eyes discerned the speckled gray in his beard, and the salt and pepper silver strands of hair. His chapped lips, his inviting eyes that always softened their hardness around you. “We had fun, Joel but between all of that there was so much—”

“No. Don’t say another word. Y’hear me? We don’t have to run. We don’t have to hide. We don’t have to fight. We’re safe here. You, me and Ellie. I won’t deny that you and I—we’ve suffered, but in that suffering we have loved goddammit. We have loved so fuckin’ hard. You're the breath in my lungs, n’you’re the soft breeze kissin’ on my skin. You’re the sun risin n’settin’ everyday. You’re the moonlight guidin’ me home. Your eyes twinkle brighter than any goddamn star in that sky. You’re my—” his words were stolen from his lips as you yanked on the collar of his jacket and pulled him down to your awaiting lips. You kissed him so deeply it felt like both the air from yours and his lungs was being knocked from your bodies. A cataclysmic wave of emotions washed through your veins as you pulled him as close as physically possible. Tongues tangled as you stumbled back against the nearest stable surface; the bartop counter.

“When did you become such a fuckin’ poet, Joel?” You asked breathlessly between kisses as your fingers tangled recklessly through his hair.

“Started readin’ more. Shakespeare mostly.” He mumbled against your lips as he stepped between your thighs, pressing your back firmly against the counter.

“You hate Shakespeare.” You retorted, gripping his hair tighter as your free hand started to desperately tug and push the fabric of his jacket down from his broad shoulders.

“You love Shakespeare.” He countered.

“Less talking, more kissing please. I gotta say it’s fucking hot that you are reading more. I find that so fucking sexy Joel.”

“Yeah? Think it’s sexy when a rugged old man like me reads Shakespeare?” He helped you remove his jacket completely as he threw it to the floor in a haste.

“You’re not that old, baby. Besides, I like your salt and pepper hair and little gray patches in your beard. You’re so fucking beautiful Joel.”

“I’m pretty fuckin’ old, baby. Old and a little gray, but I still got it n’me to fuck you stupid. Jus’ the way that my girl likes it. Them dogs out there don’t know how to handle a woman of your caliber. Now, hop up that pretty lil’ ass up on that counter f’me.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice Mr. Miller.” You detached your lips from his momentarily as you hoisted yourself up onto the edge of the countertop. You wasted no time to grasp the end of your t-shirt and yank it over your head.

“Someone is fuckin’ eager.” He chuckled as he pulled his sweater and Henley long sleeve over his head. He was feeling like the man he once was again; you were feeling like a woman reborn as he popped the button of your jeans and tugged the zipper down as you reached for his belt in a haste, listening to the familiar metal clanking sound.

“Only ever eager for you Joel. You gonna touch me or just ogle?” You teased with a light giggle as your arms draped around his neck. Your bodies were littered with scars, old and new. Two torn canvases splattered with remnants of a life once solely based upon survival.

Joel tugged your jeans down over your hips before his movements paused as his eyes flitted down to the long scar across your lower abdomen. His fingers brushed across the raised skin before he leaned down and pressed his lips to it. “I love you so fuckin’ much, Gwen.” His lips ghosted across your hip bone.

“I love you so fucking much too, Joel. I need you so bad. Please, baby. Don’t make me beg for it. It’s been too fucking long, and I think I’ll pass out if I don’t have your cock inside of me in the next five minutes.”

“Baby, you’re so generous...givin’ me five minutes to give it to ya?” He looked up at you, grinning like a devil as he slowly peeled your panties down your thighs and past your ankles. “What about your pussy? Think she’s missed me a lot too? Cus’ I’ve missed her so fuckin’ much.” He dragged his fingers southward across your pubic bone, dipping into the sweet sticky slick between your folds. “Mmm. Yeah, I’d say she missed me too. This all f’me?”

Your back instinctively arched towards his touch as your thighs spread open the slightest. Between the cool surface of the countertop, and Joel’s warm touch you were positively dripping for him. “Mhmm..she’s missed you too. So fucking much.” You mewled and slowly reached your hand between your bodies as you palmed him through his briefs. “Give. It. To. Me. Now.”

You nearly growled the words out.

“There she is. There’s my fuckin’ girl. Always know how to get your man goin’ huh? You ain’t even gotta try sweetheart. M’always fuckin’ ready for you.” His lips were on yours once more. Kissing you with the same amount of fervency as he always did. His mouth claimed yours as he freed himself from his briefs. You felt his tip notch between your folds as you took a synchronized broken gasp.

Your hands were grasping at his shoulders, nails scraping at his skin as he slowly sunk himself to the hilt. Joel always had this way of making you feel impossibly filled with him. It was as if your bodies were in fact made for one another, fitting like two puzzle pieces as his forehead pressed lightly against yours. “Fuckin’ Christ. Missed this feelin’ of your pussy huggin’ me like this baby. Always so fuckin’ tight.”

He jutted his hips forward with one harsh thrust that had you both shuddering from the intense pleasurable feeling of being connected once more.

“I’ll—I’ll never get tired of this feeling.” You moaned his name, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts.

“What feelin?’” He rasped.

“Feeling so fucking filled by you. So complete. So warm.”

“S’like you and I were made for each other. All mine, all yours.” His free hand that wasn’t wrapped around your hip drifted down to where your bodies were connected. His thumb easily found your clit as he rubbed it expertly in tight circles.

“Fuck! Yes, keep—keep doing that baby. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop, Joel.” You begged him.

“Ain’t gonna stop. I can’t quit you baby. Can’t quit ya. Never can. Never will. I got you, you got me.” He used what was left of his energy to fuck into you the way that you deserved so that feeling that only he could give you would reside deep within your veins even after your body’s were spent, and he had grown soft in your comforting warmth around him.

He kissed your skin delicately as your sweat slicked bodies stayed pressed together. He kissed your forehead, your cheekbones, your eyelids. Your chin, the tip of your nose and your lips. He cleaned the evidence of yours and his releases from between your thighs before you helped one another redress.

He walked you home, arm draped over your shoulders as your slap-happy giggles and enthusiastic chatter filled the chilled night air with domestic warmth.

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[eddiediazismyhusband]

(Please don't apologize. You may call it pessimism but I see it as realism and I truly appreciate it. I've seen people SO excited to see the cast back this week and all the excitement about the new season, optimism for canon buddie, what hair/tattoos/wardrobe might look like. And I feel bad because I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. But I cannot be bothered about whether Oliver will keep his fluffy hair or have any new tattoos or Ryan's mustache because I don't want another season of boring, repetitious storylines that don't do anything to the characters, especially those of color (thinking of the cartel and Mara right now)

I'm hopeful that because season 8 will be a full 18 episodes things won't have to be as rushed or thrown together at the last minute as season 7. But yeah, please don't apologize for your opinions because you're not the only one thinking similar thoughts <3)

im moreso apologetic because i dont WANT to be a debbie downer but its like…. ive been burned by shows (this one included) far too many times to be super optimistic and excited over things that could very potentially not be good for us… like i’ve said, most of the people i know with that mustache are awful human beings and when you add in the fact that gerrard also has a mustache like that AND that tim has been showing so little care for eddie as a character/care for poc characters as a whole it doesn’t seem far fetched to me that tim could very easily commit one of the most egregious acts of character death by veering eddie so far off the natural path simply to create cheap drama

like im so glad we seem to be getting fluffy hair buck… unfortunately fluffy hair buck doesn’t negate the fact that he’s currently in a relationship with a racist and that they’re ignoring 6 years of subtext built between he and eddie to try and further reiterate their “totally platonic dude bro” relationship, on top of giving eddie a look that exudes macho straight republican man…

(and don’t get me started on the fucking cartel plot or the mara plot bc what the actual fuck is wrong with tim minear 💀💀)

i just want them to stop dragging their feet on buddie while seemingly writing everything else as this whirlwind of convoluted messy nonsense drama plots and actually decided if they’re gonna commit to just ship/queerbaiting or to the subtext and plot theyve infused into the story since eddie’s literal first episode.

like personal feelings aside for the mustache, i think we’re giving the writers too much faith in portrayal of queer characters to actually say that it’s eddie “embracing queer culture” simply bc it looks like eddie mercury… we’re talking about the same writers who gave the main wlw couple a cheating plotline, have boiled down buck’s sexuality to just sex, and have relied on playing into stereotypes of mlm/wlw side characters rather thsn actually putting time and thought into it… like it’d be one thing to say “it’s a nod to freddie mercury” if the show has actually shown any kind of care beyond using sexuality plotlines for cheap drama (henren) but the reality is that they haven’t shown us that we can trust them in that way yet.

and who knows maybe it IS a nod to freddie mercury, but we don’t know for sure and im not going to set myself uo to be disappointed yet again when its just as likely to be s nod to them making eddie an antagonistic character with gerrard… yeah, that plot wouldn’t make sense for eddie as a character but neither did the vertigo plot so who’s to say tim wouldn’t go for it?

at the end of the day, i am just not looking forward to s8. nothing yet has given me any inclination to actually watch it until we are shown that they are making strides to actually tell a meaningful story that doesn’t rely on minorities for tokenism plots or putting them through needless pain again. yes this show is a drama, but there are other ways you can create drama (hell it’s a show about first responders) than putting poc characters through the fucking wringer time and time again, profiting off their pain, while simultaneously telling lowkey racist stories that involve the fucking cartel coming out of nowhere to burn down a LA fire captain’s house???

so yeah, i’m just not feeling great about it. i also don’t wanna rain on anyone’s parade but i don’t wanna get my own hopes up when i would just be setting myself up to be let down yet again by these writers

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Adding to the “Velvette is the glue of the Vees” convo (and possible slightly out of character interpretation)

I feel like Vox and Valentino definitely need somebody to confide in other than a fuck-buddy y’know?

Like just a (somewhat) stable friend or business partner no sex involved

…Who they’ll sometimes cuddle on the couch with and bitch about their day to each other

I hc Velvette in all her independent girlboss glory can grow clingy towards those she’s attached herself to - that being Vox and Valentino

Say Vox and Val have an argument Velvette wasn’t around for, so they’re both pissed at each other - Velvette comes to their little shared common space, completely drained from work and drapes herself over whoever is there

Valentino; will immediately start bitching to her but also scoop her up and plop on the couch, maybe get some snacks and drinks as they both recharge

Vox; stays quiet - doesn’t like talking after an argument but will do something similar, maybe go into his office instead to stalk someone while having Velvette in his lap. Velvette is just there doom scrolling on her phone or taking a nap while Vox rubs her back

Whoever Velvette runs into first - she can sense the argument happened. So once she’s recharged and taken care of herself - she’ll text them something stupid like “Can’t sleep. Come here. Now.” without telling Vox or Valentino that the other one will be there - both of them go in her room and are - pissed lol

(Think of that Spongebob episode where Squidward tries to make Patrick and SpongeBob be friends again 💀)

But yeah uhmmm Velvette’s gonna 1. Address the issue directly 2. Force both Vox and Valentino to sleep with her bc she’s too tired to deal with them but will force them into the awkward situation cause she wants the entertainment

If scenario 2 happens Velvette is obviously sandwiched in between Vox and Valentino while they stare at each other angrily. Whoever speaks way too loud first gets punched by Velvette (happens multiple times) so they’re forced to quietly “discuss their issues” while Velvette is playing dumb and pretending to sleep - eventually things do work out and they all fall asleep

I don’t even know where I was going with this it’s incredibly disorganized I just like ranting about the Vees help - love silly Velvette headcanons where she’s the one who’s in control I guess lol

I totally agree with like half of what you've written - with the part taht Vox and Valentino both need someone to confide with. None of them has a lot of opportunities to be just comfortable with another person. Sure they have each other but romantic relatisohips are often more "loaded" than frienships and while they can grant deeper connection, they also generate greater tension. That's why lifelong frienships are way more common than lifelong romances.

But I don't find the idea of Velvette's infantilization appealing, sorry. She strikes me as a person who craves to be feared and respected, to the level that it feels almost like overcompesating for her young age (compared to other Overlords) and non-threatening form. I don't see why would she allow anyone, even her friends to treat her like a plushie. Especially when those friends are power hungry maniacs who nutoriously prey on people they see as weaker.

That doesn't mean I think your headcanon is wrong or bad. It just doesn't allign with my own interpretation. Which is perfectly fine, they can't even be compared in their accuracy in relation to canon because we barely have any canon. So please, don't take it personally - I love you have fun with your ideas, that's the most important part of fandom <3

[itsjusthockey]

Road Trip - Cole Caufield

Summer Series Open Now

For your reading pleasure...enjoy

Send in your requests for Summer Series, please and thank you.

w.c:669

“Is six packs of gummy worms really necessary?”

Cole glances your way, feigning an offended expression. “Please don’t question the snack choices. I've had extensive training in snack procurement, and I'm highly qualified for this job."

You let out a snort, rolling your eyes at the drama Queen, and finish throwing the rest of the snacks in the car. You’re almost packing everything away when a familiar bright green package catches your eye.

“You hate these.” You grab the big bag of Warheads and shake them slightly at Cole

He does a once-over of the candy and shrugs his shoulders. “I do, but you don’t.”

A small smile spreads across your lips. Though you’d never tell, it’s the little things like this that he remembers that make warmth spreads in your body.

You bump his shoulder slightly as you move next to him, helping him grab his bags of hockey gear and loading them into the already full car.

“Okay, we got everything?”

It’s more a question for yourself than for Cole; he has a terrible memory; you both know it, so you’re in charge of ensuring you both survive this road trip.

"I think so,” Cole confirms with a satisfied nod. The car is loaded with snacks, drinks, and all the necessary gear for your trip to the infamous Hughes Lake House.

“All right, let’s go. I got four episodes of unsolved mysteries waiting for us.”

In mere minutes you’re pulled out of the driveway and on the open road. You’re listening to your favorite podcast and watching as the miles pass, and you couldn’t be happier.

You get precisely fifteen minutes into the drive with your best friend when he turns the volume down, grabbing your full attention.

“Are you excited?” He quickly glances at you, then back to the road.

“Of course I am.”

You offer him a smile, but when he glances your way, he doesn’t seem too convinced.

“Are you sure?”

You know that Cole knows you better than almost anyone in the world, so trying to lie to him won’t work, especially when you’re in the same confined space for the next few hours.

“Okay…a little nervous, but that’s because they’re all your hockey friends. I’ve never met the other two to the big three, and I’m just a little unsure if they’ll like me.”

Cole glances at you, his expression softening. He reaches over and squeezes your hand reassuringly. "Hey, they're going to love you. You're amazing, and in two seconds, they’ll be stealing all your attention away from me.”

A laugh spills out from your lips, and you take a deep breath, feeling the tension melt away as his words wash over you. "

“And I know the guys can be a lot, but Jacks's girlfriend is dying to meet you.”

Suddenly an enormous weight is taken off your shoulders, knowing she’ll be there. You’d only ever heard stories about her from Cole, but from what you know, you think you’ll be great friends.

“Thank god, that makes me feel better already.”

Cole chuckles, his eyes crinkling with amusement. "See, nothing to worry about. Besides, you're not just my plus-one; they all basically know you.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, “how’s that?”

“I talk about you all the time.”

His words warm your heart, and you lean into his reassuring presence. "Aww, you love me so much."

He flashes you a grin, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Yeah yeah, don’t tell anyone, though; I have a reputation to maintain.”

With a renewed sense of excitement and the weight of nervousness lifted, you both settle back into the comfort and grab some snacks, watching the miles tick by. You can’t help but feel excited about the upcoming week. You know it will be fun, and you’re also excited to spend time with Cole.

You really only had one goal for this summer. One simple goal. Make Cole fall for you just as hard as you’re falling for him.

[thebrokengate]

The Record of Stan Frederick: A Study of Amendments

This is an analysis that is long overdue. If there’s anyone in the world that could tell you how much I love The Record of Stan Frederick, it’s my best friend whose ear I’ve talked off endlessly about it, and they would probably tell you that Amendments is not only my favorite episode of the series, but also that it’s my favorite Slenderverse video of all time. If anyone who hasn’t experienced the Slenderverse asked me to show them one video from it that would paint them a picture of what the spirit of this universe is all about, this is the one I would point them to, because its characters, story, and editing encapsulate everything that I’ve loved about the Slenderverse for years all in one episode. I believe that Amendments is not only just a brilliantly made episode among many others in The Record of Stan Frederick, but it is also crucial to our understanding of the narrative, of what both separates and brings together our primary protagonist and antagonist, how the events of each character’s lives and how they felt about them affected their choices, and how the overall story of this series promotes the cautionary tale of not letting yourself fall into perpetuating the cycle of violence.

This is a case study of Amendments.

In the context of The Record of Stan Frederick, the dictionary meaning of the episode’s title would be defined as “a change made by correction, addition, or deletion” as our protagonist Stan Frederick’s goal in this particular video is to correct his error of putting off stopping his ex-partner in crime, Connor Dwight, from hurting the people around Stan when he had known how to stop Connor for at least a year. Stan put everyone else’s monsters ahead of his own, which only led to further destruction that could have been avoided—yet another huge mistake that cost him greatly. With his metaphorical will to live gone when he lost Willow, a child Stan was trying to help who was being hunted by the monsters known as Seedeaters, who manipulated her sister Dana to give her over to them—an event that Connor had a hand in tricking Stan over after being given Willow’s death prophecy by another monster known as the Rake, in which Connor proceeded to give Stan a warning ahead of time that other characters they knew could be the next to die, but never gave Willow’s name as an option—Stan finally worked up the nerve to take care of him once and for all.

Stan returns to his childhood home years after the loss of his little brother Erik and his parents, the place still as empty as it was then, save for the monster who took them all, standing at the top of the stairs waiting for him like it had never left. The Slenderman, as we know him, a monster who Stan used to fear so much and once gave into survival to appease it, and now Stan needs its help. It’s such a cruel twist of fate when he had taken everything from Stan in the past, and he has to question it: Can the monster feel emotions like pain or fear, and do the things that it does mean anything in relation to what it is? The reality of this question is to wonder if this faceless being who never speaks its mind has any level of consciousness humans can understand. Is it just a monster meant to prey on people like an animal for its own survival? Is it meant to play games with the mind until its victims are broken and nothing more? Is it something so far removed from us? Or is it like us at all, able to understand the horrors it puts humanity through, but does it anyway? Could it ever have felt the pain that Stan felt every time it took someone from him, and could it have ever understood him? But they’re questions that never come with an answer. It does what it does and that’s all we know.

But there is one other thing that Stan knows: how to please it. He makes a deal with Slenderman, not a far cry from making a deal with the Devil, that if he would make Connor human again so that he can be killed, Stan would let Slenderman take him in return. Turning the corner up the stairs, Stan finds that Slenderman has disappeared at the request, and at first believes that this was a denial of the offer on the monster’s part, only to look back down the stairs and see him now at the bottom instead. The deal Stan made effectively reversed their roles where Slenderman went from being both literally and metaphorically above him to being below him, showing that Stan now is the one who has control over the monster, it doing his bidding instead of the other way around—a relatively uncommon thing for a protagonist of the Slenderverse to make happen. This is one of the many things that makes The Record of Stan Frederick unique in general, because the story is told from the perspective of someone who has already been through this and knows the monster’s behavioral patterns instead of someone who has never had these experiences before.

With his deal accepted by the monster, Stan enters his old bedroom with only his camera that he sets up on the windowsill, and Connor’s gun. For a moment as he loads the gun, he thinks back on the last conversation he had with his brother Erik the day Slenderman took him, a memory that we as the audience also hear, before putting the gun to his head which lures Connor out. The trigger is pulled and despite the gun being loaded, no bullet comes out, because Stan isn’t allowed to die. The Rake still owes him for having given Connor to him years ago, and Connor can’t kill him because he’s under the Rake’s protection. Similarly, Connor can’t be killed in his current form as what’s known as a corruptelam—an echo of a person much like that of a ghost that can be left behind when a monster consumes a human. So with the two of them now standing face to face, both unable to be killed by the other, they’re finally at a stalemate. This is also reflected in the framing of the scene in which neither character stands above or below the other, showing that they are currently equals, unlike before for example in the episode People where Connor stands over Stan and Serena after fighting them off.

This is when Stan tries to appeal to Connor’s emotions, asking him if he remembers when they first met and saying that he knows Connor forgot a lot of things. It’s unspecified just how much Connor did forget as the type of corruptelams Stan had described the Rake leaving behind being echoes of the body rather than the mind, the type which Connor is, but we do know that day was one of the things he seems to have forgotten. Stan reminds him that they were once just kids in the foster system, both afraid of the same monster and the only ones who seemed to have been followed by it, which is when they clicked. And interestingly enough, for a second, Connor almost seems… sad. He bows his head and stares at the floor, and Stan mirrors the same position. Mirroring someone’s behavior in psychology is often a sign of empathy, giving the other person a non-verbal sign of connection and understanding, and it’s often something subconsciously done in our every day social environments. It shows that both of them are in sync, engaged in the same discussion and nostalgia of the past they endured together.

Stan didn’t know anything about Connor back then, certainly not what he was capable of becoming, but he knew even less about what he himself would become and what they would become together. Fear drove them both to survival, as equally guilty in what they did as they are in their equal inability to die. It’s what they both wanted at one point, to be able to live without that fear. To want to survive is human; when we’re faced with death, most of us will do anything to stop it, just as they did. But sometimes we go about it in a way that brings harm to others. Sometimes we become selfish creatures and throw others to the weeds if it means we’ll get a good night’s sleep. The truth is, the only thing that makes Stan better than Connor here is the fact that he woke up one day and realized he didn’t want to live that way anymore, to hurt others to keep himself safe. They’ve both been victims and they’ve both been perpetrators, but only Stan broke that cycle.

Stan then lifts the gun and points it at Connor, who reminds him that Stan can’t kill him. Stan replies that he knows because Connor is a corruptelam, the phenomena which he had named himself, to which Connor points out that he finds this whole situation embarrassing. This moment and the moment before are so surprisingly human, taking a step back and looking at the portrayal of Connor’s character up until this point as an otherwise threatening and intimidating figure. But, being completely unphased by the gun, Stan wonders if Connor had forgotten that, too—how to be scared, knowing now that he can’t be killed as a corruptelam and feeling that nothing bad would ever happen to him again because he’s something stronger than a human now. This conversation perfectly mirrors Stan’s earlier questions to Slenderman of if he can feel emotions and if the awful things he does have any purpose relative to his being, because Connor has truly become their own monster: perpetuating the cycle of violence, taking what he can from Stan to hurt him, and now unable to die. He’s forgotten the times that he used to lie awake in bed every night, terrified that their monster would come back again and harm him, and that’s something he outright tells Stan. “You move on. You make it better for yourself. You forget!” he argues. “No, you don’t! You don’t forget that,” Stan responds. “I certainly don’t. I forgot a lot… But I would never fucking forget that.” 

To remember our fears, in Stan’s eyes, is what keeps us human. It’s what reminds us that other people in our own personal situations have the same feelings as us, and makes us ask what right we have to make them suffer while we find peace. What makes us our monsters is not the hardships we face, but the hell we choose to make others go through to feel better about ourselves, and we have to be careful not to cross that line. We are all as capable of continuing the cycles of torment we experience as we are capable of breaking them, and Connor unfortunately never did.

It’s at this point that Stan allows Slenderman to complete his request, to turn back the clock and make Connor human again. Connor falls to his knees before his monster and screams as Slenderman does this, remaining on his knees even when it’s over and Stan points his gun at the back of Connor’s head. This scene shows that their stalemate has finally been broken with Stan now being above Connor rather than on equal ground with him. Connor begins to make one final plea for his life, but Stan cuts him off by shooting him, ending his life for real this time. Blood covers the screen, hiding Stan’s face from view as he too falls to his knees, now becoming his monster himself. We can no longer see his expressions beyond the blood, we don’t know his exact thoughts, if he feels better for taking Connor out of the world so he can’t hurt anyone else, or if he feels more grief for having to take his life with his own hands this time around—having also been stated in one of the book excerpts to have hated himself for giving Connor over to the Rake originally—or if he’s feeling some strange mixture of both. We don’t know what his emotions are toward that action in that moment, just as we don’t know what Slenderman’s emotions may be when he hurts people, if he even has any at all. There’s only emptiness left in the silent room that we as the audience feel, until Stan leaves Connor’s body behind for the Rake to find and goes back downstairs to accept his fate in giving himself over to Slenderman, completing their arranged deal.

Except he doesn’t.

As Slenderman tries to take him, Stan talks back, explaining how Slenderman used to be so huge and terrifying to him as a kid, and how he took everything from him. He asks the monster then if he really thought that Stan was going to let him take him too before using the same gun he had just killed Connor with to shoot himself, finally able to die as he was no longer in the Rake’s good graces. A body for a body. And not to get all David Kushner’s Daylight here, but that gun, too, is a metaphor for how Stan and Connor drinking poison from the same vine of survival led them both to their deaths. It was Connor who owned the gun first, the person who also initially suggested the idea of sacrificing other kids to their monster in return for their own peace, which Stan agreed to. The blood from the same deal they made was always on both of their hands, but Connor choosing to share that poison with Stan made Stan his own undoing from the beginning as he would always be the one to stop Connor. The awful truth is, if not for Stan, Connor’s way of surviving may have been proven to always work. It’s a horrible way to go, but no one else ever brought him down. If Connor truly wanted to survive in that way, picking Stan as his survival partner was the wrong move, unbeknownst to him at the start. The gun is a symbolic reflection in this scenario of Stan’s original plans when he had initially accepted Connor’s proposal of harvesting—that he was going to poison his and Connor’s cups of coffee which would kill them both, stopping Connor from going through with perpetuating the cycle of violence and ending his own life because he never stopped feeling guilt and grief from losing his brother to Slenderman.

The narrative actively punishes Stan whenever he chooses to live, and fate seems to scream that he has always been meant to die that day with Connor before they could ever do any of the horrible things they did together. Whether that be the time he handed Connor off to the Rake and got to live again only to be stuck trying to make up for their mistakes, or this time in Amendments when Stan returns as a corruptelam for one last try at making something of his life and he loses the last of the people that he loved, it’s always a punishment that he doesn’t die. He committed unforgivable sins that he could find no redemption for unless it was to choose death, and there was never another option to redeem him. The tragedy of The Record of Stan Frederick is like something out of a Shakespearian play, that there is no atonement and no end to Stan’s suffering unless he dies when all he wanted to do before was get out alive—just as his favorite song said. Amendments perfectly conveys the message of this story like no other, that becoming your own monster can only lead you down two paths: one of a never-ending cycle of hurting others to feel better about yourself, or one of never-ending regret. There’s no hope in that cycle. But there is hope in reaching out to others for help when you need it, and that is part of the message, too. After all, it’s Stan who tells his support group in the episode titled Support Group that they have each other and tells them how important that connection is. The support of those going through the same troubles as us is meant to lift us up, to help us survive together in a positive way, not to abuse and exploit it as Stan and Connor once did. It’s up to all of us to decide which path we’ll choose, and it’s up to us alone to accept the responsibility of those actions—just as Stan finally did.