#if anyone knows german. if german is a real language. PLEASE contact me i need professional help with one of his lines

[kinokoshoujoart]

currebt events have reminded me that i forgot to update about a very heartbreaking devastating development

i’ve been getting Slapped Silly for apparently posting actual genitalia on my twitter dot com. but it’s just. a direct screenshot of an all ages farming sim. i even censored it the second time and i STILL got slapped!!!!

completely real extremely human carefully reviewed my appeal and determined Nope Still Porn Bozo

[bestofbucky]

The Signal (1/2)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, canon level violence, swearing.

Summary:  You go on a mission with Bucky.

A/N: Part 2 will hopefully be up sometime soon.

“You ready doll?” Bucky asked as you were nearing your drop off point. 

You nod back, not trusting your voice. No matter how many times you have had to parachute from a quinjet it will never get easier. Of course, Bucky can tell how nervous you are by the way you avoid eye contact and start tugging at the straps of your harness. He pulls your hands away replacing them with his own as he safety checks your parachute.

You know that you have done it all correctly but having him double check it is the reassurance you need. You watch him, his slightly furrowed brow and tongue poking out giving away how concentrated he is. 

He finishes his final check and looks up at you, “What are you smiling about?” He can’t stop his own grin from spreading across his face. Bucky didn’t just smile with his mouth, he smiled through the crinkles in the outer corners of his eyes, he smiled through the scrunch of his nose and he smiled through the relaxation of his whole body.

“You.” The contentment you feel, that comes from simply being near Bucky, is obvious in your body language and voice. His eyes glimmer as he leans forward pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

Bucky had joined the team about two years ago. For one of his first missions you were paired up, you worked so seamlessly together that it would be silly not to put you with each other for more missions. This resulted in the two of you becoming close friends, he trusted and confided in you and you felt the same. 

It would be normal for the two of you to be holed up together after a tough mission, looking after the other but not wanting any social interaction with anyone else. You were both extremely similar like that, tending to fall inwards but you both became experts at drawing the other one out.

It was a natural transition from friendship to romantic relationship. You had just come back from mission and you were cuddled up in Bucky’s bed watching a film. Bucky had turned to you out of the blue and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him to which you immediately agreed. The feelings were already there from the bond you had formed, it was just the physical side that was needed.

This wasn’t a difficult thing to develop for either of you. Bucky had never met someone who completely overwhelmed his thoughts and feelings as much as you did. You were always on his mind whether it was a comment Sam made that he knew you would be on the floor laughing at or a mental picture of you sleeping, the morning light making your skin glow softly. He thought you always looked like an angel but especially in those moments.

You had never met anyone who's laughter was so infectious, it had become addicting to be the one to pull those noises from him, to lose yourself in his lopsided grins and crinkled eyes. He drew you in like a butterfly to nectar. You couldn’t get enough of him. His voice, his hands, his kisses.

This mission, on paper, was a simple one. Apart from jumping out of a quinjet and landing onto a moving train, all you and Bucky had to do was stop an illegal trade. That’s it. The mission file didn’t cover who the parties involved in the deal were. From your experience, being trained at the Academy and moving up the ranks of SHIELD before finally becoming an Avenger, you know that illegal trades are normally between civilians who are in over their heads in some kind of criminal group. However, not long into the mission you realised it wasn’t simple at all.

It turns out that one of the ‘unknown parties’ is Hydra, never a good sign. The weapons they are dealing are enhanced with alien technology and they somehow knew that you and Bucky were coming. The only reason the mission didn’t get pulled is because the rest of the team was on standby, ready to step in at any moment.

In fact, the job got so complicated, so quickly, that you and Bucky found yourselves at the back of the train, severely outnumbered and being pushed closer and closer to the edge of the train where the back wall had been blown to pieces by the very weapons involved in the trade.

It was loud, the sounds of fighting were drowned out by the noises of the wheels on the tracks. The train was moving fast and the wind was whirling around the carriage meaning just one misstep could send you flying off the train and landing on the tracks below.

There was a moment when you thought you were a goner, but Bucky managed to haul you back into the carriage, putting himself between you and the edge of the train. A move that warmed your heart, knowing his history with trains was not a good one.

“I fucking hate trains.” You remember him saying when you had first got the mission brief. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You had laughed back then, but there was nothing funny about the situation you were in now.

The next ten seconds seemed to happen so quickly. One of the attackers yelled something in what you assumed to be German, he was holding the weapon you recognised to be the same as the one that blew out the back wall of the carriage. Next thing you knew Bucky had wrapped his arm around you and was launching you both off the train. 

Time slowed and you seemed to float mid-air as you watched the carriage go up in flames, shrapnel flying everywhere, the heat burning your eyes and forcing them closed. Then came the impact of the fall, quite luckily Bucky had managed to aim for the snow on the sides of the train tracks and not in the train tracks themselves.

Bucky immediately sits up and sends the signal for extraction, he then starts checking himself for injuries. You are lying on your side facing him, half your body concealed by the snow, the other half just poking out. His eyes travel to you as he looks over your body.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” The concern was clear in his voice.

“No, I think I’m ok.” You try to move yourself but wince slightly. “I think I landed funny though because my side hurts.” You manoeuvre yourself onto your back. As soon as you get your right side out of the snow a gasp causes you to snap your head towards Bucky who is just staring in shock at your stomach.

His eyes are wide, eyebrows slanted upwards and mouth open slightly. You know whatever it is can’t be good. Gathering up the courage to look down at your stomach, you lift up onto your forearms. Finally looking down, the sight causes bile to rise and you have to stop yourself from gagging. A piece of shrapnel about the size of an A5 piece of paper is sticking out of your side. There is so much blood around it that it is hard to tell what it is and how deep it has gone.

It’s as if looking at it made it real because the pain suddenly hits you. Out of instinct your hand flies towards the wound to try and hold it or soothe it but Bucky quickly catches your hand stopping you. It’s like a flip switched in his mind. He suddenly starts stripping off his clothing. He takes his shirt and undershirt off before putting the rest of his gear back on. He moves behind you, placing his legs either side of you and lifting your upper body carefully, so you are now leaning on him. He manages to wrap your wound, careful to go around the shrapnel to try to stop the bleeding, but not push it in anymore. He continues to do the same with as much of his clothing as he can afford to lose in the snow. He takes your left hand and puts it over the clothing, then places his hand on top, telling you to press down as hard as you can, as he does the same.

You start to feel lightheaded, the pain in your side only getting stronger.

“Stay with me doll, backup is on its way. They’ll find us.” Bucky is practically begging and you try your hardest to keep your eyes open.

“You were right.” You say after a while and Bucky gives you a puzzled look. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You chuckle at your own joke but quickly stop when it causes shooting pains to fly through your body.

Bucky lets out a sharp breath from his nose. “When you get through this you will be able to join my ‘I survived a fall from a train’ club.” He jokes smiling down at you.

“I can’t imagine there are very many members of that club.” You smile back at him and he laughs, you can tell he is trying to distract you but you let him anyway.

“No, at the moment it’s just me. The events the club holds are very fun though!” His eyes light up as he continues to look down at you. “We’ve had freight night, that was watching scary movies that have a train in at some point. There’s train reaction, which is like the telephone game, that one was quite difficult with one person.” He laughs at himself which makes you giggle, trying not to contract your stomach. It doesn’t work and the shooting pains are back. The smile is still clear on your face and Bucky reaches his free hand up to push a bit of hair behind your ear.

“Bucky.” You whisper to get his attention, the words you want to speak are clear in the look of longing in your eyes. 

“No, baby please I don’t want to hear you say whatever you are going to say. You fight through this and you can tell me whatever it is when you’re better.” A frown is clear on his face.

“But I-“

“Please doll. You want to tell me whatever it is so badly, then use it as a reason to fight this. To come out the other side.” You scan his face and from the crease lines in his brow and the desperation in his eyes you can tell he already knows what you want to say.

You both fall into a comfortable silence. You realise being in Bucky’s arms is probably your favourite place to be. Feeling his chest steadily rise and fall, your head gently moving with it. You feel so protected, cherished, peaceful.

That is until Bucky looks down at your stomach to see that all the clothing he tried to use to wrap the wound has been completely soaked in your blood, he visibly winces. You move your head slightly to try and get a look but Bucky uses his free hand to tilt your chin up so you are looking at him instead. He holds the eye contact as he takes his jacket off and drapes it over you, covering your wound from your sight and warming you up as much as he can.

As secretively as he could, he sent the signal out to the team. The signal only used in extreme emergencies. Three long holds. The signal to say an agent doesn’t have long left to live.

The sharp sting of the cold has faded into exhaustion as the pain retreats from your body leaving behind a numbness you have never experienced before.

“I always thought I’d be alone.” You say pensively, “I never thought about death too much. I just always assumed I’d be alone when it happened.” You were slurring your words. If you were more aware of your surroundings you would have felt Bucky tense up at your words. Looking up into his blue eyes you wondered if death would be as serene as them.

“You’re not alone. I’m here.” Bucky’s once motivational words, convincing you to hold on, shift to words intended to comfort you, to draw out the fear of your final moments and replace them with solace. You had closed your eyes, his reassuring whispers gradually fading away as he cradled you close to his chest. You wanted to be able to hear his heartbeat but all you could hear was the erratic beating of your own heart pounding in your head. 

In the far distance you felt commotion around you so you used what was left of your energy to open your eyes one final time. The sight you were greeted with sent a wave of emotion through you. Your team members, your friends, they were all gathered around you, kneeling or standing in the snow.

“My family is here.” You smile to yourself as you let the tiredness overtake you. The last thing you feel is an ice cold tear rolling down your cheek. An overwhelming sense of calm consumes your body and your worries and fears simply fade to nothingness. 

Bucky knew even before the Avengers turned up that your chances of surviving this were slim. You were bleeding out fast and it was showing no sign of slowing. It killed Bucky to know that all he could do was make you as comfortable and reassure you as much as possible in your final moments of life.

When the team got Bucky’s first signal, the plan was for just Tony to go down and retrieve you both. Then the second signal came in. They all silently agreed they would land the quinjet and all go together, maybe to say goodbye if they had enough time. If not, just to be with you when you take your last breath. They all knew that there was nothing any of them could do.

What none of them could have predicted was Helen Cho and a SHIELD team transporting the cradle from one base to another. The flight path directly over your current location. Their quinjet picked up Bucky’s radio signal and they made the choice to land to see if they could help.

Upon arrival Helen rushed straight to you, checking for signs of life, she must have felt something because she ordered for you to be put in the cradle as quickly as possible.

Bucky was frozen, no he wasn’t cold, he was a super soldier, the cold barely affected him. He was simply in a state of daze, unable to move himself to get you into the cradle. Steve could see this and swiftly took you into his arms carrying you onto the other quinjet and placing you down in the cradle. As soon as you were secure Helen was directing a team of people to all do different things. Steve stepped out of the jet, not wanting to get in the way.

No one spoke, they all had their hopes that you would be ok, but no one was particularly optimistic. 

“We’ll take her to my lab, she’s not in a good condition and this jet can only sustain the cradle for so long, we can take one or two of you in this jet with us, but feel free to follow in yours.” Helen had stepped out and as soon as she finished her sentence it was like a flip switched inside everyone.

The team made their way back onto the quinjet but Bucky hadn’t moved, he was bathed in your blood, a ring of red surrounding him a stark contrast to the blinding white of the snow. Bucky gratefully accepted Steve’s hand helping him onto his shaky legs. He looked down at where he had just been. The red crater left in the snow told the story of what had happened but Bucky still couldn’t quite believe it.

Steve’s hand on Bucky’s shoulder guided him to the quinjet you were in. He sat there staring ahead unable to do anything more, Steve stayed close by his side but knew not to push anything.

“She wanted to tell me something.” Bucky suddenly breaks the silence but his gaze stays fixed ahead. “She wanted to tell me something and I couldn’t let her finish because I wanted to stay strong for her.” Steve stays silent knowing he wasn’t finished. “I didn’t let her say anything because I knew I would have broken down in front of her.” He continues as tears start to fall from his eyes. He feels everything, guilt, regret, pain, loss, hope but at the same time feels nothing at all. His body numb and still in shock.

“What if it was her dying wish to say whatever it was and I took that away from her.” A crack in Bucky’s voice causes Steve’s heart to contract. He pulls his friend into a hug, Bucky gladly accepting the comfort.

“We both know what she was going to say Buck,” Steve takes a deep breath to try to stop himself from crying, “and we know how she is. If she thought for one second you didn’t know what she was going to say, then she wouldn’t have let you stop her from saying it.” 

Of course Bucky knew what you were going to say because he felt it too. He knew, because to kill you both only one of you actually had to die.

Taglist: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @townwitchbitch @velvetcardiganbucky

[antiherocorner]

Niki Lauda - The White Wolf

A Werewolf! Niki Lauda x Reader fic (18+)

Headcanons: 

So... This is my first AU ever... And also this is my first smut... Kind of... Thing... Ever... Sex scene, let's go with that... I was debating to post it in smaller parts, or a bigger one. I decided the second one might be better.

This is a mess, and a random idea... This could be a psychedelic trip, while you're watching fucking Twilight... Yes, I am familiar with the Twilight Saga... No, I wasn't Team Jacob... No, I didn't intend to base this on that... But it might has some similar stuff (no vampires)... Small stuff... All of them were unintentional, really.... Well... 1 or 2 things weren't, but most of them.

English is still not my native language, apologies for the grammatical mistakes, I tried.

Taglist: @rumblelibrary (you are my first tag in a fic written by me aaaaaaa🥺❤️🔥)

Summary: Your car broke down while you're on a road trip, on your own. You need someone to fix it. There's a small town. What could possibly happen?...

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (don't do it kids), swearing, possibly smoking, drinking, mention of scar (nothing big or serious), google translated German, bad dog jokes, puns, and no, i didn't make a "real" wolf fuck the Reader, i'm not that kinky, i imagined the Reader to be female, but can be gender neutral, no name, or age mentioned, no use of y/n either... That's it?... Idunno, still new to this

(collage made by me, i don't own the pictures, i just used them, it's also very amateur, I haven't done a collage in ages)

🐺🤍❤️

You were in your car ‘till your waist. The damn thing broke down half way into your road trip. You have had enough of your monotonous everyday life, so you decided to pack up the essential stuff of yours, get your car together, and head out into the unknown. You have already seen beautiful mountains from a distance, gone through deep, mysterious forests, taken many pictures. You have tried to live in your car, but occasionally you have stayed in some cheap, low budget motels for 1 or 2 nights. You always had trust in your car, yet there you were. It didn’t run out of gas, it just suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, just outside of a small town. It looked rather friendly, and not busy at all. There wasn’t any other car passing by, so you did what you thought was the best decision: packed your bag, locked the car, and started walking into the town, praying to find someone, anyone really, who can maybe lend a helping hand.

The people you saw were really kind, it seemed they didn’t really get too many outsiders in their small town, and they seemed happy for you. They told you that there was one car mechanic in the town, a little group of guys. They also told you about a motel, which was always open for travellers, and due to the lack of them, it was basically empty. You decided to go to the motel first. The receptionist was a friendly old lady, who, again, got very excited to finally have someone at her place. You got your room, for a very small price, went in and unpacked some of your stuff. You really wanted to know what was up with your car, or if it could be fixed at all, so you didn’t waste much time in your new temporary place. After a few minutes you headed out to the streets, to the direction where you were told before to find the mechanics.

It was one of those warm days, so you were glad you found what you were looking for. You heard music coming out of an open garage. Above the doors you read “The Rat's Den”.

- Hello?... - you popped your head in the garage.

- Can I help you with something? - a tall, blonde haired man, with broad shoulders approached you. He had a cheeky smile on his face, sweat under his long locks. Oh, and shirtless.

- I uhm.. My car broke down just down the main road - you gestured with your hand where your car was - And I was just wondering if you could help me with it… I don’t know what could be the problem, I have been traveling with it for the past few days, weeks, everything was fine up until now. I just can’t get it to work.

- Sure, we can take a look at that thing - you turned your head to the direction from where another voice caught your attention. Another man just slipped out from under a car. He had curly hair, slimmer body than the blonde one, but still tall. You looked him in the eye as he came over. His eyes were like a river of caramel pudding, and they were glowing like a forest fire in the middle of the night. Your mouth watered.

- Thank.. You… - you said shyly. What’s happening? You normally aren't this shy… - When can you do that?

- Are you staying in that old motel? - asked the curly one.

- Yes.

- Alright. Is that good, if I go there around 7 am tomorrow, so I can take a look at it before I open the garage?

- Y-yeah… sure.

- It’s a date then. I’m Niki Lauda, by the way, that’s James Hunt. - he gestured towards the blonde one, James. You didn’t even notice him leaving you two. You told him your name.

- It was nice meeting you. I’ll be there at 7.

- Okay. See you then. And thank you.

- It’s no problem.

And with that you headed out of the garage. You turned back before you completely went outside. You saw a tattoo on James' right shoulder. You didn’t see every detail, but you felt a strange feeling. Unconsciously your eyes wandered to Niki. He was wearing a white shirt, but you could still see a glimpse of something similar, at least as you guessed, just under his neck. Strange.

You went back to the motel. You couldn’t go to sleep during the night so easily. You had a weird feeling about The Rat’s Den. Some kind of an aura was around it. It looked like any other garages where they repair cars and that’s it, but not there. There was something. You couldn’t really describe what you were feeling, or grasp what you should even be looking for. Something was up, you were sure about that.

🐺🤍❤️

After a few hours of sleep, you woke up. Niki could be here any minute now. You freshened up a little bit, you felt like shit due to the lack of sleep. Suddenly, you heard a loud car noise. You were the only one there at the motel, you guessed that was Niki. Honk. Yes, most definitely. You opened the door for an old, shiney Ferrari, with Niki sitting at the front.

- You’re coming or no, Schatzi?

You blushed by the petname, but quickly composed yourself, locked your room’s door, and jumped into the passenger seat. The man asked you about where you left your car. You answered and he drove to the correct directions. The short journey was mostly silent, with small talks. You stared out of the window, so you missed the spectating eyes of his.

- You’re good? You look exhausted…

- I’m okay, I just haven’t slept much. - you turned to him.

- Well, that makes the two of us.

You looked at him with curious eyes, but he remained silent, eyes focused on the road. You couldn’t read him, but tried to observe his features. He was pale, especially his knuckles as he was basically suffocating that poor wheel. He was taking deep and slow breaths. He looked like he was having a hard time in his own car.

- Is that your car? - Niki snapped you out of your thoughts.

- Yes, yes, that’s it.

Niki stopped his car in front of yours. You got out, and walked to it. He asked for your keys, so he could open the hood of the car. You took them out of your packet, then placed them in his open palm. Fingers briefly touched. He was warm. Surprisingly warm. For a moment you thought you heard him sharply inhale, but he quickly busied himself with your car. He has a nice butt. You immediately scolded yourself and turned your back to him, leaning on the side of the car, while he was working. After a few minutes, awkward silence, and some rattling, he straightened himself and turned to you.

- The engine gave up. Although it’s nothing serious or expensive, it will take some day to fix it properly, so it won’t die again. - so I stuck here yey - How long will you stay?

- As long as I don’t have a car I guess… - you massaged your nose, the lack of sleep started to catch up - I took it to a mechanic before I left… That’s just great…

- Well, that asshole did a shit job… It’s obvious what’s wrong, and it didn’t happen overnight. - he shrugged and closed the hood - I can’t take it back to the garage now, but during the afternoon I will come back for it with a more usable car.

- Sounds like a plan - you nodded and extended your arm to take your keys back.

Your fingers brushed against his, again, but this time the contact shot electricity up in your arm, which caused you to drop the keys. You instantly crouched after it, but what you grabbed weren’t your keys. It was a hand. Niki’s hand. How does he have these quick reflexes? You looked up, still holding his hand, and just realized that your faces were just a few centimeters away from each other. Both of you froze. Niki even seemed like he wasn’t breathing. His eyes were on yours, before he looked down to your lips. You licked them unconsciously. He purred. What?

- We should get back to the town.

He jumped up, leaving your keys on the ground. You tried to get yourself together, picked up your keys and sat back into his car. The way back to the garage was in complete silence. He didn’t purr, did he? He just breathed weirdly… I am imagining stuff… Right? You were confused.

🐺🤍❤️

Not much happened during the rest of the day. You tried to look around the little place, bought some food and just relaxed in your room. When the sun started to settle down you realized that you didn’t give your car keys back to Niki. You left each other in such a hurry, after he took you back to his garage, none of you had it in mind. You couldn’t call him, you didn’t have his number, and you didn’t really want to walk there. Throughout the whole day you had a strange feeling. Something was definitely up. You just felt it in your guts. Niki was like any other man and yet, he had an aura that just gave off some vibes which you just couldn’t grasp, no matter how hard you tried. You were pacing in your room when you looked out of your window. A red Ferrari just stopped in front of the motel. What, is he a mind reader too? You opened your door, spinning your keys in the air with your right hand.

- Catch! - you shouted, throwing them at his back, but before it could hit him, he turned around and caught them in his left hand with incredible accuracy.

You weren't expecting that. He didn’t say anything, just smirked and winked at you, as you locked eyes. You blushed deeply, and he disappeared just as quickly as he came by.

🐺🤍❤️

During the evening, you couldn’t rest. Again. This time you decided to go for a little walk. You weren’t really paying attention to where you were going. You just wandered around the quiet, calm town. It seemed like everyone was fast asleep. Not a single person, not a single soul was up. You arrived at a little dirt road which was leading you to a forest, next to your temporary home. You didn’t know why, you followed it. You got to a little field which was shielded with huge trees from the outside world. Some rays of sunshine were still peeking through the bushes, giving it an angelic look. Little red flowers covered your newly found small area. It felt like you were in a fairytale. But you weren’t. You heard a branch break behind you. You turned on your heels, just in time to see a huge, black wolf coming out from the bushes. It looked unusual, there was something in its face, in its eyes that was off. Human? It had a human kind of amused face expression. In the middle of your observation you just realized it was coming close. You panicked. Just when you thought it was going to rip you apart, another one jumped between the two of you, from behind you. This one was white, and slightly bigger. It growled at its own kind, like it was telling him to fuck off. The black wolf looked at you one last time and took off into the trees. The remaining animal calmed down, before it turned to you. It looked majestic. There was something royal in its posture. Around its neck and on his chest it had little patches of curly fur, like a mane. It had a cut on its lip, probably just had a fight, maybe with its prey. It looked deep into your eyes, like it was staring into your soul. There was something familiar in those eyes. The eyes were glowing, and like a river of caramel. Wait. You took a step forward and it instantly disappeared into the shadows. You really did needed to sleep.

🐺🤍❤️

You jolted up in your bed. You were covered in sweat, hair was messy. You massaged your face while you were trying to catch your breath, even your breathing. You looked at the clock. 1:30am. You managed to sleep for about an hour, before the nightmare woke you up. You saw the wolves again. They were circling you. The black one jumped forward and tackled you to the ground. Your sight got blurry, but you could still make out the silhouette of the white one. It changed into a man. It had curly hair. You felt like someone or something was watching you. You walked to the window, and pushed the curtain aside. You saw a wolf, watching you from the otherside of the road. A white wolf. That wolf. You immediately turned around, hands were burying in your hair. What the hell is going on? Am I going crazy? What is this place? A knock on the door caused you to jump. With shake legs and hands, you went to the door and opened it. Niki was leaning on the door jamb, with his left hand.

- What an earth are you… - you started with a confused look but it quickly changed into a shock, your eyes got wide when you looked at his lips. He had a fresh scar there. - There’s no way…

- I can’t do this anymore. You drive me crazy. - he looked at you with a beast-like expression on his face.

- What do y- - you couldn’t finish your question.

Niki technically broke into your room, then kicked the door closed. He didn’t mean to scare you, but he was on the edge of completely losing control over himself. He took a step towards you. You didn’t step back. You couldn’t. That animal look on him made your legs weak, your mouth dry. The lust in his eye made you want him. You licked your lips. That was the last straw for him. The next thing you knew you were thrown against the wall. His mouth was on your neck, sucking and biting like a hungry wolf. He didn’t want to hurt you, but he didn’t plan to go easy and kind on you either. He hooked his hands under your knees, picked you up and you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist. His fingers dug into the flesh of your ass and thighs.

- Your smell is intoxicating to me. I still don’t know how did I manage to not to rip your clothes off and fuck you on the hood of your car, when there were just the two of us, alone. - he confessed into your ear, and that made you feel all kinds of incoherent thoughts.

You wanted to answer, but when he sucked on your collarbone, the only thing that came out of your mouth was a moan, which could have been heard in Hell as well. He growled in response, grabbed your shirt on the back, and tore it in half with such ease, letting it fall to the carpet. He took you away from the wall, then placed your back on your bed. He sit up, just to took of his shirt. He placed himself between your legs, arms next to your head to keep himself from crushing you. He looked you deep in the eye. The warm that radiated from him was unbearable. It made your stomach turn in itself. He leaned in to capture your lips, but he stopped just millimeters away from you. There was a silent question in the air. He got his answer when you closed your eyes. When your lips met, you felt like you jumped to another dimension. He tasted like a mixture of cigarette and beer. Your hands found their ways into his curls. His breath stuttered for a second, before letting out a purring sound into your lips and mouth. He liked that. No. He loved that. His left hand wandered down between the two of you, to pull your pants down. You let him. Then it was your turn to free him from his pants. He let you. He was bigger than you would have imagined, and thick. And also hard like a rock. You gently grabbed him to pump him a little bit, but he didn’t let you have your fun for too long. He needed you badly. He wanted to bury himself in you. He pulled your hand away from him, and just as you were to pull your legs up for him to get a better angle, he tightened his grip on your arm a little bit, and turned you around like he just picked up a feather. You got confused for a second but when you felt him at your entrance you put the puzzle together. Oh. He is half wolf after all. And without a second word he trusted his hips toward and filled you up. You pressed your face into your blanket to suppress some of your cry.

- I’m sorry, but you really bring the animal out of me... Meine schöne Beute...- was all he whispered, but waited for a little bit for you, to get used to him, before he started moving.

From slow and sensual trusts, you quickly arrived to needy and shameless fucking. His occasional growles got mixed with your load moans. Niki kept biting your neck and shoulders, and you couldn’t do anything, rather just take it. Not that you had any coherent thoughts about doing anything in that position. As both of you were coming closer to reaching your desires, Niki’s hands found their ways to the back of your own ones, interlocked your fingers, and raised both his and your arms above your heads on the bed. You saw the finish line, but before you could register the checkered flag, your pleasure hit you like a racecar. The man behind you finished the race as a close second. He stayed inside you until he got soft, then collapsed on the bed beside you. After you stopped seeing stars, you looked at him. He was already looking at you with his big caramel eyes. You felt this urge to cuddle him, you were already missing his warmth, although he wasn’t that far from you. He looked like he sensed your thoughts, because he opened one of his arms, invitingly. You quickly snuggled to his side, head on his chest. He was drawing circles on your back with the hand that was behind you. You reached up to the back of his neck, and started to slowly massaging the hair on it. He instantly started purring.

- I love this sound… - you slightly chuckled.

- I can get used to this… - he smiled.

- So am I... - the broken car was long forgotten.

Both of you drifted off to sleep like this, in the arms of each other. The last thing you heard was Niki’s heartbeat. Thump. Thump. Thump. Honk.

You shot your eyes open. You were in your car. In a parking lot. You sit up, confused, trying to solve your thoughts. You were tired, so you stopped to sleep a little bit in your car, before you reached your next destination. Was this all a dream? You climbed over to the driver’s seat. Started the car. Looked in the mirror on your right, on your left, then on the middle one. You saw a little purple spot under your shirt, around your neck. You pulled the shirt aside. A hickey on your collarbone.

🐺🤍❤️

The End?...

[operation-619]

What if the reader is an alien that has the same power as superman and stronger than Homelander? The reader works at the Vought and doesn't know the corruption in it until Butcher told the truth. Homelander acts soft on her when they see each other, and Homelander was still confused about his feelings and put his ego shit first. I kinda wanna see Homelander battling the reader when she was trying to protect Ryan and Butcher while Maeve hasn’t arrived yet. She will make him bleed.

Even the strongest man Bleeds.

Edited 17-01-21

Homelander x Alien! Reader

Warning: mentions of blood, language, mentions of death and murder. Violence read at your own risk. 

Bold italics- inner dialogue, Bold- the past. 

WC - 3.1k

Masterlist

“The compound V is what makes them, supes. It’s not real and the golden boy, your Homelander, is the most corrupt motherfucker I have ever met. We need your help (Y/N). Please?” his voice was hoarse, the stress in his words were leaking onto his face. She could see the worry on his face, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe the men in front of her.

“You’re lying to me. Billy Butcher, you have a lot of nerve coming here, you and your gang are mortal enemies to Homelander right now. It’s not safe.” The muscular black man scoffed at her statement and leaned back against the seat. He seemed relaxed but his eyes constantly sweeping the place told (Y/N) otherwise.

“I swear, come back with me and I will show you everything. Please?” his eyes crinkled at the sides as he pulled his face into what looked like a poor attempt at a pleading face. (Y/N)’s mouth was just forming the word ‘NO’ when the man called Mother’s Milk chuckled and leaned forward.

He whispered, “he doesn’t ever say please,” and stood up from the booth and walked out of the café. Her mind was racing, weighing the pros and cons of her current situation. She considered whether or not they were just baiting her into a trap, but she was confident that she could make her way out of it. But it isn’t everyday that two men come waltzing into her favourite café, sit themselves down like they own the place and cough up a semi-convincing story about the corruption at Vought.

“Fuck it,” she whispered under her breathe, “fine I’ll come, it’s good to go out your comfort zone once in a while.” The smile on her face made Billy look at her with confusion painted on his rugged features. She stood, and gestured Butcher to show her the way, “just so you know, I don’t believe you at all.”

(Y/N) replayed her past movement in her head carefully over and over again, and yet she still could not believe how naïve she truly was. But here she is sat in a car that smells like Old Spice, waiting for Frenchie to get the speakers ready. She threw her head back against the headrest and released a shaky breath; everything she believed and knew had been a lie to her. Including John. ‘Oh dear god John, what have you done?’ Her thoughts were getting too loud, they were screaming at her asking how she could’ve been so stupid to not know.

‘How could you not know?’

‘It was right in front of your face you idiot’

‘Your really are a cunt!’

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples, the stress of all the sudden information was taking a toll on the woman. Whimpering under her breath, she opened the car door and inhaled the cold air. Closing the car door, she leaned against it and watched as the group of friends conversed amongst themselves. The plan was to set off the sonic device and John to go over and destroy the source, and when he does Billy and Becca will drive and get Ryan. She still didn’t know why she was needed, (Y/N) was still processing the information she was given 48 hours ago.

“Okay, 15 minutes and everything will be all set,” the French accent let her know who was talking, but she wasn’t paying that much attention when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck arise.

“Get in the cars!” she whispered harshly, her arms waving about ushering the people back into the cars. (Y/N)’s breath shallowed once everyone was in their respected cars, she creeped forward and looked upwards, watching as the uncovered Nazi zoomed by. She vividly remembered the moment she had met that woman. (Y/N) never trusted that woman, something about the way her heart leaped when an opportunity to hurt someone arose. (Y/N) also didn’t like the way John was towards her, all bark, and no bite- vulnerable.

(Y/N) had never seen John so vulnerable around anyone except her.

The metallic taste in the air is what told (Y/N) that Stormfront had just flown by, the hair on the back of her neck relaxed and so did her posture. Walking over to Butcher, she waited until he rolled down his window before she spoke; “She’s seen the leaked news, my guess is she is going back to Vaught to see what caused that, fiasco.” She heard another window come down, not doubt Frenchie and the others.

“Was she alone?” without turning around she nodded. (Y/N)’s tongue ran across the bottom of her teeth before she turned around and faced the two cars, the cars holding the people that brought the truth to her naïve and simplistic eyes. “What exactly am I doing here? Because, you have the weapons, metaphorical and physical to defeat them. So please, tell me why I am here?” her eye followed the movements of the human bodies getting out of the cars. She could see the look on Becca’s face, and she didn’t like it.

“We’re gonna use ya.” Her (E/C) eyes shot towards MM, he stood there tall and domineering, with his hands on his hips. “Starlight, or Annie told us how soft Homelander is on you. And if things go south, you are our pawn.” (Y/N)’s hearts faltered.

“You humans are so pathetic. I mean, I am old. Older than all of you put together, so I have seen shit that no one can imagine. But the one thing that never changes is the utter stupidity of you homo-sapiens, the selfishness and carnage that I have experienced puts my species to shame.” (Y/N) paced back and forth, her anger evident as black veins started to appear under her (E/C) eyes.

“(Y/N). Please, MM didn’t mean it like that,”

“I did. I did mean it exactly how I said it Becca,” (Y/N) stalked the movement of the vigilante group. Her hearing was being drowned by the loudness of her beating hearts. She watched as Becca stepped forwards and stopped right in front of her.

“My son, who was conceived in the most- my son is in there. I don’t know if you have had children before. But I am not going anywhere until I have my boy in my arms. So please, help me.” (Y/N) flinched when she felt warm hands placed onto her cold shoulders, echoes of her past resonating inside her head. She now understood the look on Becca’s face, the look of a mother- a childless mother that no longer understands their purpose in life. Because she was one.

“Okay, but I want this on my terms.”

The little boy was screaming when (Y/N) landed behind John, crying for his mommy to wake up. She looked around, seeing the two women laying lifeless. She was too late to save them. The metallic taste in the air was getting stronger the closer she walked towards the pandemonium. The woman that confided in her mere moments ago, now lay with blood flowing out the cut in her neck. She watched as Butcher tried to stop the bleeding his white hands now crimson. His whole body covered in blood, soaking him to his soul.

Turning her head, (Y/N) saw John knelt next to Stormfront or what is left of her. The burnt woman mumbling in what sounded like German. “Ryan- ‘her attention went from the barbequed supe to John, ‘did you do this?”

“He didn’t mean to John,” she watched his whole-body flinch at the sound of her voice, she was happy to see his face finally, to get some sort of justification. But the feeling that shot through her body was the complete opposite, the look in his eyes reminded her of herself, and she didn’t like it.

“What are you doing here, I thought you left?” he surged forward and cupped her face, (Y/N) placed her hand on his chest and the other on his hand. She closed her eyes and inhaled her John deeply. “(Y/N), you have no idea, I. I don’t understand.” The beating of his heart grounded her for a moment, everything around them disappeared for a moment as the two of them were caught in their own bubble. But (Y/N) knew the bubble had to be popped. And she had the sharpest needle to do it with.

“John, what happened on the plane.” She was met with silence, the hands gripped her face harder, but her eyes still remained closed. “You left them all to die, didn’t you?”

“I did not leave them to die, I tried to save them. You know this (Y/N), why are you asking me this.” His mouth was talking but his heart told her the truth. Releasing a soft sigh, (Y/N) stepped back from John and finally opened her eyes. The bubble burst when his blue eyes met pitch black, her pupils had flooded the white out leaving a demonic presence behind, the black veins appeared all over her body pulsing violently.

“I know everything John, you have been lying to me. I trusted you, and you know that.” He started to mutter words that didn’t make sense to her, his hands anchored in his hair. (Y/N) watched as the great Homelander fell apart right in front of her, Earths favourite and mightiest hero crumbled under the pressure of words.

“Now let them go John. Please?” when his blue eyes met hers, the look rivalled hell itself. His jaw twitched, tongue pocking out to lick his bottom lip. He never broke eye contact with her, his eyes tracked her like predator to prey.  (Y/N) moved cautiously, never turning her back to John. Once she was stationed in front of Butcher and the kid, she placed her right arm out and behind her. (Y/N)’s ears were ringing, the power surging through her was immense and yet she felt weak. Weak, it wasn’t a word her species spoke, and she never heard of such a word until she came to earth. Vulnerable, weak, powerless, helpless, defenceless, and fragile; all these words are now part of her vocabulary, and she was feeling every single one of them as she looked at the man she had come to love.

(Y/N) had given him not just one but both of her hearts. He was the first person that offered her his hand when the rest of this new world beat her down with their harsh words, he taught her how the ways of her new life, he was her new life. (Y/N) may have been a celestial being, but she knew when something wasn’t right. At first, she thought John was just trapping her, the distance – although not physical – was fluctuating between then constantly; first John welcomed her with open arms, then he kept her at arms-length when they got too close and then the cycle repeated.

But through all the shit he had put her through, she was still there for him. until now.

“We are going to leave, and you will never trouble them again.” Her vision was sharp as she watched the wrecked man in front of her chose the option she hoped he wouldn’t.

“You know I can’t do that, he’s my son.” And with that he charged towards them, eyes red with hunger and rage. His path changed when he felt a fist connect with his cheek, sending him flying into a tree. His world spun, staggering up onto his feet he made eye contact with the shell of the woman he loves. Her black eyes reminded him of a starless night, an abyss that was forbidden to travel.

Something cold dripped onto his lip, and out of instinct his tongue licked it away, he thought nothing of it until the unfamiliar taste of blood slithered its way down his throat. His naked hand came up and delicately touched his nose, he hissed in pain when his calloused hand touch it, retracting his hand he look in bewilderment at the blood sat there taunting him on his hand.

“You broke my nose,” his voice was meagre but loud enough for her to hear the vulnerability in it.

She turned to Butcher and the child hurriedly telling them , “get away from here, quickly,” and before she could turn back around, she was pinned to the muddy floor. Her face caked in the mixture of blood and dirt; she could feel John’s breath on her neck. Without a second thought she flung her head back and used the distraction to spin around and wrap her hand around the heroes throat. (Y/N) paid no mind to the thoughts pounding in her head, she wasn’t about to let them stop her from – whatever she thought she was doing.

“(Y/N) … (Y/N). please.” the air around them froze, she wanted answers but standing here with her hand around the nations saviour’s throat was not the way she needed to get them. “You lied to me John, the one person who promised to never lie to me. You betrayed my trust.” She threw him to the ground.

“You had me working for monsters. They never helped people!” the wind started to pick up around them, her (Y/H/C) hair danced ferociously around her face, a face that was covered in black veins pulsating in rage. (Y/N)’s head snapped to the right when she heard a twig snap, her vision was met with Butcher and the kid watching her in astonishment and fear. The kid was hiding behind Butcher, just his head poking out watching (Y/N) beat up his father. And god did he look like John. 

(Y/N)’s body moved before she could even realise what was happening, her left hand came up to stop the blow coming her way and then she knelt down, using John’s momentum against him, she throw him over her shoulder. But the outcome wasn’t in her favour as he managed to land on his feet. And then he was charging at her. Punches were thrown and bodied flung everywhere, (Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to kill John, but it felt good to hurt him.

 “He’s my son (Y/N). He needs me!” his words were met with a foot to his chest.

 “No one need you John, not after what you did,” her elbow jabbed into his stomach, causing his arms to release her waist, she looked at his body lying pathetically on the forest floor. Americas strongest man, the embodiment of patriotism and pride had fallen to his knees.

 “(Y/N), you have and always will need me’, his blue eye sparkled with malicious intent, ‘no one wanted a freak roaming our home, but because I stood by your side, they welcomed you. But the moment I’m gone. You will be nothing. But a monster to the people you love so much.” Blood came flying out of his mouth as he spat his words at her. His armour had crumbled and all he had left was his words.

 “Stop” the alien smiled at the hero on his knees, her eyes only moved off his body when she felt a presence next to her. John started to get up, but (Y/N) swiftly moved forward, wrapping her arm around his neck, and gripping his hair with her free hand. She forced him to stay down, on his knees.

 Maeve came into sight, moving cautiously like she was afraid he would brake from his bond. She stopped when she was right in front of the disgraced hero. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” (Y/N) could feel John shaking in her grip. The two looked at each other in silence for a while, their eye contact unbreakable. (Y/N) spared a glance at Butcher, who was still stood in the same place.

 “You’re going to let them go,” the man in question scoffed but immediately fell silent when (Y/N) tightened her grip on his hair. He cleared his throat, moving subtlety before answering the Queen. 

“And if I don’t?” his ego spoke louder than the words coming out of his mouth, he was confident that everything was going his way. Both Maeve and (Y/N) knew that. But the moment Maeve held up the recording of the plane (Y/N) could physically feel The Homelander admitting defeat. The cries of the passengers echoed through her head, along with the bullshit lie the man in her arms fed her. ‘there was nothing we could do, the terrorist had too much control I tried to save them (Y/N). I tried.’

“You’re going to stop hunting Starlight, you’re going to leave me and Elena alone. Or I release this.” there was no room for argument, and he knew that. But he had to open his mouth. “If you do that, I’ll destroy everything and everyone.” (Y/N)’s grip tightened, she dragged his head backward and brought her lips to his bloody ear. Her voice was cold, no hint of vulnerability, no hint of emotion. 

She could feel his bones quaking under her arm as she tightened her hold on the man she had come to love. The man that made everything feel less painful, the man that she called a true friend. But standing here in the middle of a forest with two dead women, a sobbing child and a emotionless man; she realised that what her people said about the human race was true. And John had proven that to her. It took everything in (Y/N) not to simply break his neck but she wanted him to hurt. 

She wanted him to bleed.

 So, she looked up at Maeve and signalled her to get the two boys out of here, she wanted to be alone with him. she willed herself to calm down, she knew she wasn’t in the right headframe to talk to John because if she did so now, his head would be lying two feet way from his body. So, she whispered to the man calmly, hearts no longer racing with hatred or fear. She let the venom in her voice speak for itself as she whispered to Homelander. But she let man she loved hear the pain in her voice, because the man she was holding was not her John, her John had died the moment Butcher and Mother’s Milk sat down across from her in the café. However, (Y/N) had comfort as she let the ten simple words leave her mouth, because she knows that no matter how much Compound V is pumping through his body. Even the Strongest man bleeds.

 “If you do that Homelander, I will make you bleed.”

|=|=|

Hello beautiful people, I hope you enjoyed my little piece, feel free to leave comments about what you liked and didn’t like, I’m okay with a bit of constructive criticism I believe it will help me get better, and if you want anything else.

[fandomwriterstuff]

Traumtänzer (Pt. 2)

Rated T

German Translations:

Mein Gott - My God

Der Herr de Ringe - The Lord of the Rings

Il Principe - The Prince

Part 1

Part 3

“So… He went back in time to meet up with a woman he kissed once and who was happily married with children?” You asked skeptically. That didn’t sound like the Steven you’d known. But then again, you hadn’t known him all that well.

“It’s confusing, but that’s the gist of it,” Sam interjected, taking a sip of his tea. The four of you were getting cozy in your living room, though it was a bit small. Sam and James shared the couch and you and the Baron found yourselves in arm chairs.

“Why are you so willing to stick your neck out for him?” James asked, looking for more information.

“He,” you paused. How much should you say? “He helped me out when I had nothing,” you shrugged and looked down into your empty teacup. Chamomile had always been a favorite of yours.

“That explains why you owe him a favor, but you’re really going out of your way. You know we’re harboring a criminal,” James nodded towards the Baron. You squinted your eyes at him, wondering if he could be trusted.

“He kept my secret… He found out my background and he didn’t turn me over to the authorities or insist I go get tested on,” you could tell you’d piqued their attention with that one. It was true, what you’d been thinking before. You didn’t tell anyone about your background, but Wanda had seen you and told Steven, and he helped you get off the grid. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don’t,” the Baron finally spoke up. “But we’re not in a place to be helping SHIELD out considering the circumstances, so we have no real reason to turn you over.” You accepted his answer with a frown. It wasn’t a lot but he was right.

“I knew the Maximoffs when they worked for HYDRA because my parents were secretly HYDRA agents,” you looked down into the teacup again, fighting the tensing of your muscles and the urge to run. “They sent me in to be experimented on by the-” You lost the word for scepter. Damn it all. “The thing, you know.” You rolled your eyes and growled, swearing in Sokovian. The Baron smirked at that. “ The scepter, god what’s the fucking word,” you mumbled in Sokovian. You knew James and Sam wouldn’t understand but the Baron was Sokovian and should be helping you out. “ Help a girl out,” you pleaded in Sokovian, and you could tell he was holding back a laugh.

“The scepter?” He added in English.

“Yes!” You exclaimed. “They experimented on me with the scepter!” You were so excited to have found the correct word, you didn’t notice the silence or meaningful glances James and Sam sent each other. “So I got some cool powers, they ran a lot of tests, terrible time,” You continued quickly, wanting to get this part over with. “Steven knew this, and helped me get off the grid. I owe him more than a favor, I owe him my freedom, my life,” you said emphatically.

“So you’re HYDRA?” James asked, tensing up. You glared over at him.

“I do not associate myself with Nazis, James,” you were cold, but this was a tough topic. “I was forcibly experimented on for years, and you think I would willingly associate myself with them? You should know better.”

He had the self-awareness to look a little ashamed, though you couldn’t care less. You didn’t need his shame or his pity.

After a brief pause, you sighed. “You can stay here for a little bit. Where are you going next?”

“Madripoor,” the Baron answered smoothly, and you choked on your own spit.

“ Mein Gott,” you mumbled. “Why on Earth would you want to go there?”

“We have business there,” he said, noncommittal. You raised your eyebrows, so it was top secret. Interesting. You stared at each other for a moment, unsure where your next words would lead you. You didn’t want to push too far but your curiosity was burning.

“I suppose I will prepare dinner,” you finally said after losing a staring contest with a criminal.

It was an uneventful night. You prepared food and you all ate in silence. It was only later when you were sitting in the living room reading Der Herr der Ringe that things got weird. James was sharpening a knife while Sam fiddled with some electronics. The Baron was reading your copy of Il Principe quietly.

“ What is your superpower, then? Wanda has her mind tricks and Pietro had his speed,” the Baron was speaking in quiet Sokovian, though he didn’t even glance up from his book. You noticed James side-eye him, but he left it for the moment.

“ I hardly think I should tell you,” you huffed. He raised a single eyebrow, still looking down at the book.

“ Indulge a poor curious man,” he finally looked up and caught you in his gaze. You felt pulled towards him, like his fluent Sokovian was a homing beacon and you just wanted to be near him. It was dangerous, but you hadn’t spoken Sokovian in ages, nobody here knew it and it was becoming a dead language.

“ They called me a dreamwalker,” you whispered in your native language. “ I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you frowned at yourself. You couldn’t trust him. But he was right, who was he going to tell? Alerting the authorities to you would also alert the authorities to him. You kept eye contact with him this time, tilting your head.

“ Tell me, Maus. How does dreamwalking work?”

“ I-”

“English please,” Sam groaned. You pursed your lips and made a quick decision to lie to him. He would have no such issues alerting the authorities. He was an Avenger.

“I was simply telling the Baron about my book. Der Herr der Ringe. The Lord of the Rings,” you replied smoothly.

“What’s so interesting about it?” James asked, this time genuinely curious. Though what was more curious was the small smile the Baron was giving you. You felt your cheeks burn at the attention and tried to hide it by glancing back down at your book.

“It’s the follow on to The Hobbit and follows the third age of Middle Earth,” you began, but James’ jaw had dropped.

“There was a sequel to the Hobbit and you didn’t tell me,” he glared at Sam, who only raised his hands placatingly.

“Dude, I didn’t know you were so into fantasy,” Sam raised his eyebrows.

“It’s actually three books,” you added. “Not just a sequel.”

“Oh man,” James shook his head. “I have been missing out. Is Gandalf still in it?”

You nodded, smiling. The previous topic was forgotten, you started telling him about the movies and how they helped you learn English.

All throughout the evening though, the Baron was glancing at you, trying to figure you out. You were sure he was curious about your powers, though you were sort of afraid to tell him. At the same time… It would be such a relief to talk to somebody about it.

You retired early after setting up the pull out couch and allowing the three men to figure out where they would sleep. They agreed that Sam and James would share the couch and the Baron would take the single bed in the guest room. Their explanation was that they’d be closest to the door if he tried to escape. You couldn’t sleep though, images from your past running through your mind.

It was nearing four when you simply decided to get up, make some tea, grab your book, and return to your room.

However, when you got to the kitchen, the Baron was sitting quietly at the table in the dark sipping on some tea.

“ Good morning,” you whispered in Sokovian, trying not to wake the men in the next room over. The Baron tilted his head towards you and smiled softly, the dark shadowed his face but you could see his features fine. You’d always preferred the night time and the darkness that came with it.

“ Couldn’t sleep? ” He replied in the same language. It must be nice for him to be able to speak it again, just like it was for her.

“ No,” you sighed. “ My mind was racing. And on top of that I’m not used to having guests.”

“You’re uncomfortable being vulnerable around us?” He asked softly, but you shook your head.

“ That’s not it.  I don’t want to accidentally walk into one of your dreams. I’m out of practice.”

He nodded sagely, it would make sense. You seemed like a polite girl and you likely wouldn’t want to intrude.

“ Tea? I made extra,” he gestured towards the teapot where steam was still rising and you smiled, smelling the chamomile.

“ Thank you,” you murmured and poured yourself a cup before sitting down at the table with him. “ You couldn’t sleep either?”

“Too much to do and plan,” he replied with a shrug of one shoulder. “ Will you tell me about your powers?”

You sighed, resigned, and nodded.

“ I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. I can walk through dreams and change them. It works for daydreams too, when people are in ‘the zone,’”  you explained. “ Though it’s harder then, when people are awake.”

I can also project my thoughts into other people’s minds you spoke this time directly in his head and his eyebrows shot up.

I haven’t figured out how to read minds per se, but I’m hoping I can learn.

“ Fascinating. Absolutely sensational,” you blinked and blushed at the praise, hoping he wouldn’t notice in the dark room. “ You’re incredible, Maus. Is there anything you can’t do?” He chuckled and you ducked your head, looking up at him through your lashes with a small smile. “ Oh, that’s not all, is it?” He wondered, a slow smile spreading on his face when you nodded your agreement.

“ It’s new… I have only developed it since my time in this flat. But just as I can project my thoughts, I can project my body. Sort of like teleporting,”  you murmured, smiling again when he looked at you, astounded.

“ You truly are wonderful,” he praised you again, this time noting your reaction. You spoke with him for a little while after that about the places you’d teleported to, but you found you’d drifted off when you ‘awoke’ in the dreamscape.

It looked like a forest, this place that your mind conjured. In the forest were many trees and shrubs but also little glimmering puddles. Those were the dreams. You walked as if in a trance, sometimes you had no control in the dreamscape. The puddle nearest to you was dark and murky, you were frightened and your chest tightened up, but you couldn’t hold back as you dipped your toes in and were immersed in the dream.

It was dark. It was always dark at first. But then there was a light and a voice.

You searched and walked around, looking for it, but you regretted entering this… this… this nightmare.

It was James as the Winter Soldier on a dark, cold night. You watched the scene as if in slow motion, and screamed as he killed his friend and his wife.

He jerked back to look at you, noticing you for the first time, and stalked towards you.

“You’re next,” he growled at you, but you scrambled backwards, trying to find your way out of the dream. You tried to conjure something to snap him out of it. You could usually do whatever you wanted, so you changed the scenery. You were on a hot beach, white sand beneath our bare feet, and the Winter Soldier kept stalking towards you.

“Let me out!” you screamed at him. “Let me out!”

You gasped and fell from your chair, and the Baron shot up to catch you.

“ Maus? Are you alright?” his arms were warm around you as you shook off the last of the terror. You were afraid of dying in a dream. You weren’t sure if you’d wake up.

“What the fuck?” James growled from the door frame, rumpled and angry.

“I am sorry,” you choked out. “I did not mean-”

“Stay out of my head,” he cut you off and retreated to the couch, where Sam sat, confused.

“ You might want to stay out of his dreams,” the Baron whispered, arms still caging you in, but you appreciated the strength as tears pricked at your eyes. You hated when people raised their voices.

“ I can’t always control it. I couldn’t get out,” you choked on the words. You huffed a ragged breath and righted yourself, finally pulling away from the Baron. “ I’ll start breakfast,” you mumbled and turned away from him so he couldn’t see the few tears you allowed to fall from fear and apprehension.

Masterlist

[hetaliatxtpostz]

“Winter” From the Four Seasons: PrusAus

Roderich’s hands linger over the keys of his piano, fingertips suspended in an abrupt silence that has sliced a hole in the music he was playing. Something has occurred to him quite suddenly, something deeply troubling. It’s about Gilbert. Gilbert Belischmidt. This— this infuriating person, he’s just realizing. A completely impossible German man with a grin like the devil himself and the red eyes to match it. 

“You—” But his words ring empty in the room the piano is sat in, and he’s reminded that he’s very much alone, and there’s not a point scolding Gilbert where he can’t hear it. He should hear it.

But Gilbert Beilschmidt had left that morning. Before he was even awake, at some ungodly hour of the day, as usual, Gilbert had packed up his things and left a note that he was going home early. Not a word about— 

Roderich pushes away from the piano and stands. What time is it? The note is still burning a hole in his pocket, after all, that’s what he’d been thinking about as he warmed up this morning, and, true to fashion, Gilbert has included the time of his departure for no real reason. 

I have time. That’s the first thing he thinks upon pulling out the crumpled piece of paper. It’s the only thought he can have after the realization that’s hit him. I have time if I just— 

Roderich is in motion, practically running across the house, tearing into the closet to throw on a coat, scarf, and hat that didn’t match to a degree that would have embarrassed him in a different situation. The only thing he can think, pulling on boots and tying a haphazard bow, is that he should have seen it at the time.

Gilbert unclasped the violin case, and his hands weren’t even tempted to shake because. Well. That just wasn’t the kind of person he was. And. It wasn’t as if there was anything actually intimidating about this, anyway. There wasn’t. He’d performed for Roderich a handful of times now and they’d all been. Unremarkable. 

Or. He’d been remarkable, of course, because he always was, and he would challenge Roderich to find someone wh— Rambling in his own head. Annoying. Not like him. It was just a violin solo! Just a solo. And, maybe, it was a song that meant something important to him, sure, but it wasn’t like he wrote it. Not the way that Roderich wrote his. Probably wouldn’t even get through, he thought. Probably wouldn’t even be any different this time. 

Still, there was that possibility that it would. That this would change everything. That he would stop playing and meet Roderich’s eyes, and he would understand what— But! There wasn’t any point to thinking like that because he might just be reading into things. Hearing messages in piano notes the artist never meant. And this message might go just as unheeded. Then he would know. 

Another solo. He lifted the violin from the case and picked up the bow. Took a breath in and let it out. Steady and measured. Things he could be counted on to be. Steady and measured. Just like he always was. Roderich wasn’t even awake yet. He had some time to warm up. To tune the instrument. To think about what he was doing. 

And either way, he told himself, either way, it doesn’t matter to me. Which was a lie, and not a convincing one. Still: doesn't matter to me. I can’t control anyone else. Just me. That’s all I need. Just me. That’s what this is. Performing. 

He tucked the violin under his chin. 

I’m not worried about this.  

Roderich gets all of four steps outside before he starts to actually think about what it is he’s doing. After all, Gilbert lives in the 21st century, doesn’t he? Fumbling a moment, Roderich gets out his phone and calls the number at the top of his contact list, the one with a little gold star beside it earned over hours of late night conversations. 

“Answer the phone, Gilbert,” he says, as if he’s listening. “You have always been so good about answering the phone.” 

It isn’t picked up after the third ring, which generally means it won’t be picked up at all, but Roderich lets it go the whole time. Then, he thinks, I’m wasting time. And he sets off at a brisk pace, listening to the voicemail come on. Then, he stops again, because he thinks, how far away is the station? Should I get a ride there? And he decides, not far enough that he has time to wait for a ride, and he starts off again. 

While he walks, he calls Gilbert again, and he receives the same voicemail, a rather professional sounding voicemail for the sound of what is clearly his little white dog in the background. Funny, Roderich realises listening to it, he’s never heard this voicemail before because Gilbert had never let a call from him go unanswered, no matter the time. The thought kicks him into an even higher gear, which must make him look rather hysterical to anyone he’s passing on the street. Is this really the first time I’ve chased after him…? 

Their whole relationship, Gilbert had been the one who complimented Roderich, who sat next to him and listened with a very serious expression when he explained the process of writing music, who seemed to be ready, come rain or shine, to help him with whatever physical task he was finding intimidating. He’d met Gilbert when they were teenagers, the pale rascal absolutely incorrigible. All of the trouble he’d ever been in, and most of it he’d gotten back out of, was because of Gilbert. There simply wasn’t any way that they’d spent so long together, that he’d lived so casually in the back of his mind making smart comments, and he’d never once… It couldn’t be. 

Another unanswered call. Roderich is tempted to start running. His breath is  coming in clouds of smoke around his face, clouding the glasses that he only really wore because Gilbert, at some point, had complimented him in a way that he probably didn’t even remember. It really couldn’t be. 

Roderich’s ankles were crossed, his head tilted ever-so-slightly. That expression meant he was ready to listen. It was the same kind of feverish intensity he always approached music with. One of Gilbert’s favorite things: how it cracked his perfect facade. All the work he put into his hair, his outfits, but when it came down to what mattered: all passion.  This morning, however, the expression was threatening. 

Violin tucked under his chin, Gilbert played the opening note. He wondered how long it would take Roderich to recognize the song. How long before the notes registered to him as something that he’d written? How long until he pinpointed the solo as the one he had played to Gilbert, the very first time he trusted him enough to hear something he’d written. It would take longer, he guessed, than it normally did. Because it had taken him some time to practice this one. 

He didn’t have the music for it. He’d only had a recording he’d taken that night, one that he’d listened to over and over again. Had to perfect it that way, the hard way. And he’d put hours into this performance. Every time he played it, over two years now, he would think: it’s almost perfect. But not quite.

Spending November with Roderich, waking up and seeing him every morning, that changed things. Every day it became a little less important that it wasn’t perfect, until he thought the intensity of his feelings might just stop his heart. So. He had to do something. 

A special show. He’d promised that. Before I go home in a week. Something you’ll like. It’ll surprise you. 

He couldn’t bear, just yet, to check and see if Roderich was reacting to the music he was playing. Right now, his eyes were closed and he was pouring his heart into the song in a way he hadn’t before. The first thing he was hoping Roderich would notice: the violin itself. Not his favorite instrument, but this was what Roderich had played. 

I’m speaking your language, Roderich. I’m trying to show you. I’ve learned from you. I’ve been watching you for a long time. The things you tell me, I remember. The things you show me, I can emulate. I’m here. I’m right in front of you. I don’t know how to live without you, do you see that? I’ve known for a while now, and it’s been killing me to pretend otherwise. It’s supposed to be just me. It’s always supposed to have been just me. But you’ve snuck up on me, and—

He missed a note, and he hardly noticed it. What did that matter, really? One note was nothing. It didn’t need to be perfect. He didn’t need to be perfect! That was the beautiful thing. They weren’t perfect, together. They were this mess of narcissism, and pride, and— and laughter, most of the time. And he wanted more than that. So much more than that. 

He had no idea how to say it. No idea how to bring it up, the way that Roderich’s touch sent lighting across his skin. How to even begin to say why he suspected he knew exactly the way that his hair smelled. The way that his clothes lay against his body. He couldn’t pinpoint when it had started to be that way, at which point he wasn’t teasing anymore. He could pinpoint when it had started to take over most of his thoughts. 

He was ear the end of his solo, and that was going to be it. Please, he played. For the first time he wasn’t ashamed of that: to ask for something. The notes of the song faded out. There was this painful, and beautiful, silence. Gilbert opened his eyes. 

“So?” He kept his tone as casual as possible. “How was that?”

Roderich has abandoned his phone strategy, sticking it back into his pocket. He’s turned up the volume, however, and he’s listening in vain, hoping to hear Gilbert’s ringtone at any moment. The speed at which he’s walking can hardly be called that, only a step or two away from a jog. Around him people are parting on the sidewalk, murmuring behind him things that he doesn’t hear. He’s sure he looks crazy. It doesn’t matter, right now. If I don’t catch him, I’ll buy my own ticket. I know where he lives. I’ll see his brother. I’ll be right behind him. I’ll—

Roderich slams into another person, and he falls backwards onto the sidewalk. 

“Ah, watch where you’re walking!” The man, despite the harshness of his tone, still offers a hand. Roderich bats it away, practically leaping to his feet. He isn’t sure what kind of look he gives the man, but it must be something because he takes a full step back. 

“I have to go,” he says, to that man; to no one, really, because he just keeps thinking about Gilbert’s face when he was done playing that solo for him yesterday. I talk to him day and night about music and how important it is and I can’t even tell when… I’ve been so selfish. I’ve been so ridiculously dense. 

Roderich sees the glass front of the train station ahead of him, and he breathes a prayer of relief. Inside it's crowded, even more so than the usual foot traffic of the city, especially with holiday travel. This morning he had the benefit of skipping the lines in front of the ticket offices and self-service machines entirely. Muscle memory took him to the central display system, where his eyes quickly scanned over the departures until he found the one he knew Gilbert would be taking. 

That’s when he starts running, and he isn’t good at running, which Gilbert very well knew, and Roderich curses him for this mentally, because this is clearly his fault, and Almighty, please, he’s going to catch him and scold him when he catches him. He goes skidding around a corner, almost tripping over someone’s luggage and stumbling slightly before continuing, his breathing picking up. You’re an idiot, Gil, and I’m one too, agh, aren’t we a pair?? 

The moment he sees the train, a train that is still in the station, a train that hasn’t left yet, his heart races. “Gilbert!” 

He calls his name before he sees him, or knows if he’s boarded yet; he calls the name as loudly as he’s called anything, at a very embarrassing level. People turn and look at him, and he doesn’t care, because none of them are the one he’s looking for and, as of this morning, his world has suddenly become a lot smaller. 

“Gilbert!” He takes the stairs two at a time, almost somersaulting off the end of them, but catching himself on a bench. “Gilbert!” 

Most of the people are still streaming onto the train, after having cast him a curious glance or two, and he desperately looks around for anyone who might have stopped. Am I going to have to board this train and buy a ticket?!  “GILBERT!” 

There, through the crowd: a red jacket that he could name the brand of eyes closed. Yes. Yes! Roderich shoved through a line of people, broke into a clearing, and there he is. Gilbert. Oh, Gilbert... eyebrows drawn in concentration, looking around himself trying to locate the sound of his own name, his hand on a suitcase that Roderich is sure was hastily packed for a man who insisted on folding even underwear.  

“Gilbert…” Roderich crosses the few steps left between them and throws himself forward.

“Ugh,” Roderich said, rolling his eyes. “Why on Earth would you choose that song, of all the songs that you could have possibly chosen? That is a terrible solo! Oh, I hardly knew what I was doing.”

The words were like a knife to his chest. Okay. He thought. He didn’t get it. That’s fine. Of course he didn’t. He’s reading too much into this. And he knew that, he did. That he was reading too much into things. Putting too much weight where it was in danger of breaking something. Not communicating. Not really. He knew he was going about this the wrong way, but he…  

“You thought it was terrible?” Tone still casual. Still light. Like it was. He was joking.

“Oh, no, your rendition of it was fine, but— well, I can’t really hear past the mistakes I made, I’m sure you understand, being such a perfectionist and all.” Roderich leaned back and surveyed the violin as if it had personally failed him. 

Numbness spread outward from Gilbert’s chest, to his fingertips. God. He cared, and that was so fucking stupid of him. What did he really think was going to happen? Of course it was going to be the same as it always was between them. When had Roderich ever even hinted to him that he might— 

“I thought you’d like to remember,” he had to pause to keep his voice steady, “that first night you played it. When you trusted me to—”

“Yes, yes, I do recall Gilbert. I couldn't ever forget it. You don’t need to dredge up my old failures to remind me of time we spent together.” Rodrich pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “But, you know, now that I think about it, I don’t believe I still have that particular sheet music any longer. How did you get your hands on it? Are you composing from memory? That would be impressive.”

“No, I… I recorded it, that night.”

Roderich made a face that made Gilbert want to step out of the room entirely, maybe just go home at this point. Maybe try again later. Maybe put all of his feelings in a box and lock them permanently. 

“Did you? Ugh. A shame. I’d really rather that all be forgotten. You know, Gil, if you want to play something of mine, I can simply give you music next time. Or! Even better, would you like me to write something for you? I’ve been thinking about that. I think you’re rather inspiring.”

The words fell flat to him, his ears still ringing. He didn’t get it at all! Why would he! Gilbert was being, and he knew this, he knew, he completely understood, that he was being irrational. He was expecting too much while not saying anything, but he just thought. He really thought. Hoped. That if anyone would understand. That if anyone could read between the lines. That if anyone would just get him, after so so many years...

But. It was fine. This was—

“Don’t worry about it,” he told Roderich. He was already thinking about going home, at that point. About nursing this wound somewhere private. About escaping before he revealed too much more. After all, Roderich still didn’t know. That meant, in some sense, he was still safe.  

“Well, thank you for the performance, nonetheless. I do prefer you on flute, and I suspect you prefer that as well, but you are more than adequate on violin.” Roderich stood up, dusting his hands as if of the whole affair. “Have you had breakfast yet?” 

Gilbert shook his head. 

 Roderich’s arms wrap around Gilbert’s neck, and he hears his luggage hit the ground with a thud as he drops it to catch him. 

“Rod— what are you doing here?” Gilbert sounds bewildered, and Roderich has never been more relieved in his life to hear that voice. 

“I— ” Words: suddenly he is at a loss for them, pulling back enough to look into those eyes. “— you are a complete idiot!” It’s not what he means to say, and he’s out of breath, so it doesn’t even come out dignified, or elegant, or whatever other things he liked to think he was. 

Something pulls over Gilbert’s face then that he recognizes, like he's closing up his emotions, drawing himself as deep within as possible. It’s so far from what Roderich wants to happen in that moment, needs to happen in that moment, that he almost shakes him. 

“No, no, Gilbert— I didn’t— oh, this is— I think I understand your problem, you—” The realization is far too much, too important, to put into words, and even though he knows the answer, and he’s fairly sure he knows what the response will be, the thought of saying it makes his hands shake, makes his heart pound. 

Committing to this will change everything between them.

“I have to go,” Gilbert motions to the train. “My ticket.”

“No, no, Gilbert,” Roderich repeats. “You don’t have to go.” His arms tighten around him. “I don’t… I don’t want you to go.” 

Gilbert’s eyebrows raise, his mouth a tight line, but he doesn't say anything and he doesn’t move. How in the world, Roderich wonders, did it go from feeling like they had nothing but time to feeling as if this was the last moment he would ever have to speak his feelings? 

“I should—”

Before he can put anything else between them, Roderich bends down slightly and kisses Gilbert. It certainly isn’t a very romantic kiss, there in the crowd of people and amidst the noise of the announcements, their lips chapped from the cold outside. The kiss is rough; it’s rushed, and it might just be the only kiss Roderich will ever care to remember no matter the rest. After a moment, after he’s sure that Gilbert has to understand what he means, what he wants, he starts to pull back. 

A hand rises to stop him, fingers in his hair, and draws him back down, into a deeper kiss. This time it’s gentle. Beside them, the train doors close with a hiss, and neither makes a move. When they finally break apart, the train is already gone, and Gilbert looks like he’s been split open down the middle, his eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry,” Roderich says, his voice hardly above a whisper. “I should have seen it. I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening, I was so blinded by my… by…”

“Your pride and arrogance? Your inability to think of other people?” 

Roderich opens his mouth to respond indignantly when he sees the look on Gilbert’s face, the soft, fond smile, and his cheeks flush instead. “I wouldn’t put it like that, exactly. But, yes, perhaps, something along those lines might be accurate.”  

“Might be?” 

“Yes— I— you know, Gil, if you had just told me how you felt, we wouldn’t even be here in the first place! If you didn’t have this absolutely debilitating aversion to admitting you experience the full human range of emotion, I wouldn’t have had to run to you— which I was terrible at, mind you!” 

A look of wonder crosses Gilbert’s face, and he brushes a strand of hair from Roderich’s forehead, no doubt knocked loose during the chase. “You did, huh… run after me? I didn’t think you cared this much.” 

“You didn’t think—! Of course! I can see that you weren’t thinking! I care about you, you— you— you’re my best friend, you complete disaster! I don’t care about anyone more than you! If—” Roderich straightens up. “In fact. If I hadn’t caught you here, I would have gone all the way to Germany looking for you. I would have never stopped.” He bites his lips a moment before sighing. “... you taught me that, after all.” 

“Okay, okay. I… I’ll admit a little fault here, sure. Maybe. But I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I didn’t want to risk—”

“Make me uncomfortable?! You don’t think it’s uncomfortable for me to be running about the city like I’ve lost my mind, shoving over strangers on the street, scaring the children?” Roderich shook his head. “There is nothing, Gilbert, nothing, that you can do that’s going to change us! If— look, if I didn’t want you around, you know I would make that very clear. No one in my entire life has ever been more annoying than you, more frustrating, more difficult to have a normal conversation with, and I look forward to seeing you in a way that is so deep it’s an ache some days, and you have the nerve to doubt that I would— I would—” 

They must both be hopeless when it comes to saying it. 

“My point is, Gil, that your convoluted little plan to play me my own song, to show me how much time you put into thinking about me, it was ridiculous, and I— I’m so sorry I didn’t get it.” Another train pulls in somewhere past them, the force of it blowing their hair about their faces. 

“Rod,” Gilbert says, and this time Roderich hears more than what he’s saying, what he means. “I want to go home.” 

“Good.” Roderich steps back and Gilbert picks his suitcase up off the ground. Once he’s got it in one hand, Roderich offers him an arm, which he dutifully loops his through. 

After a moment or two, just needing to add something, he says, “but I’m not running again.”

Gilbert laughs. “You didn’t pull anything, did you?” 

“We’ll see!” Roderich smiles to himself. He can’t stop smiling, and that’s silly, because it’s normally not a problem for him. “I really don’t understand what’s so appealing about that to you, that working out thing. It was dreadful.” 

“All four steps you took?”

“It’s a big train station.” They’re walking much slower now, the sound of the luggage wheels clicking along behind them. “My legs aren’t that much longer than yours.”

Gilbert rolls his eyes, something that Roderich can feel in the way he gently bumps him with his shoulder, muttering something about their heights that’s no doubt incorrect. They board an escalator. “Ludwig is already probably annoyed about my sudden change in plans, and now I’m going to be changing them back.”  

“I’ll talk to Ludwig for you, if that’s going to bother you.” 

“You’re not my secretary. I’m just making a point about what I’m sacrificing for you.” They step off the escalator. 

“Right, well you’re the one who keeps telling me about the importance of family on the holidays, so it seems to me we should be… together. By your standards, anyhow.” 

“The holida— ha! You don’t even celebrate Christmas.” 

“Well. I did specify: your standards. Your holiday. Consider it… emotional support.” 

Outside, snow is starting to fall over the city. Roderich wonders, looking up into the infinite and dizzying sky, if snow has ever seemed so magical before. A childish, wonderful thought; Roderich is tempted to stick his tongue out and catch a snowflake only to turn and see Gilbert already doing so, his nose crinkling slightly, eyes squinted. 

“You…” Roderich begins. 

Gilbert looks over, “what?” 

“... you’re just. I—” Roderich keeps walking. “Come on, then. I need to get changed, I look like we belong together.” 

He’s going to say it, he is. 

Gilbert is sitting sideways on the cushioned bench out on the balcony, his legs across Roderich’s lap, bent so that he’s leaning into his side. They’ve made coffee, and the steam of it rising is mixing with their breath. The first thing Gilbert wanted to do was be this close to him. Something he’s been denying himself. 

“I just cannot,” Roderich is saying, “believe that you thought I wanted to watch you workout out of— what did you think it was?-- scholarly interest?” 

“No!” Gilbert snorts. “I didn’t think about it!”

Roderich eyes him. “And the sleeveless shirts? You thought I didn’t notice that? The tank-tops? How you continuously volunteered to lift things for me? You really thought I was that weak?”

“I, uh, I did actually.” 

“No! I wanted to see— I wanted— I liked looking at you do it. You’re such a show-off, normally, and I liked it when I felt that you were…” he takes a pointedly delicate sip of his coffee “... performing for me.” 

Gilbert almost chokes. He manages to recover like a champion, though, and no one can tell. “I— okay, so I was showing off. But you were the one doing your hair up all fluffy for no reason and dressing like you were in a fucking magazine-level photoshoot, even if you were only seeing me—  so you can see how I was getting these ideas. Before you.” 

“Before— did you not hear what I was saying? Do you—” Roderich’s cheeks color, and it’s clearly not just from the cold. “Ah, this is going to betray some things, isn’t it? But! Fine— When we were nineteen—”

Nineteen?! That early? 

“-- and you insisted that we go skinny dipping, and you stripped down there on the spot and—”

“And you were so embarrassed! I remember that, yeah. Ha! You wouldn’t even look at… Wait.” 

“Yes.” 

“What?!” 

“Yes.”

“That early?!” 

“Yes, Gilbert! That early!” 

“But…” Gilbert frowns down into his coffee. “Wow. I had no idea. You never— hey! Hey, wait a minute, all those little barbs about me being emotionally repressed? And— since 19?!” 

Roderich’s blush got worse. “It might have been… I was deflecting. A bit.” 

“A bit?!” 

“Well! When exactly did you know?!” 

“That I was in love with you??!” 

Silence. The words had simply slipped out in the moment. It’s something he’s been thinking about for a while now. The whiplash of them colors his cheeks to match Roderich’s. 

“That… that you wanted to sleep with me, I meant.” Roderich says, but then quickly adds, “but I love you, too! Just so that you know! I love you, so don't you dare go running off again on me. Don’t think otherwise, I won’t have you doing that thing you do where you—”  

Gilbert interrupts him with a kiss. He tastes like coffee, like whipped cream. “I’m not going anywhere.” He replies softly. 

“Well, you ought to… to stay in my bed. So I can feel sure about that.” 

“Gladly.” A pause, Gilbert nuzzling his head against Roderich’s shoulder, which is something he only ever imagined doing. “And it was around twenty-two, for your original question.”

“What happened at twenty-two?”

“I— you are never going to remember this— you made this joke, agh, this is so embarrassing I should have thought of a lie. Hold on, I need to think of a cooler lie.” 

Roderich jabs him. 

“Hey! Fine! Fine. I’m going to spill your coffee if you do that again. So, the joke. You were talking about how nice your clothes are. You said all the layers. All the way down to your underwear. Er, and until then I hadn’t really, uh, really, thought about your underwear, but then you went and added this bit about. Okay. Context, I guess. I said something like what like you’re ordering lingerie? And you said. Uhm. Yes. Which was quite the mental image. And then I thought about it every day for years. Actually. I’m still thinking about it. Right now.” 

Roderich regards him with an expression that he has no idea how to read. “I wasn’t joking.” 

“You— you—” Gilbert’s eyes drop down a bit. “You— weren’t? Joking? You’re saying that, right now, you’re…”

“No, of course not! Ah, does the idea of me in lingerie really affect you so much? You’re normally sharper than this.” Roderich takes a sip of Gilbert’s coffee. “I’ll have to remember that. It actually isn’t one of the things I’ve thought about doing for you, and to you, in my rather extensive catalogue of fantasies.”

“Ex...tensive?”

“It— I told you— it has been since nineteen, Gilbert. I’ve had seven years now.”

“So…” Gilbert waggles his eyebrows. “When we’re done with coffee, huh?” 

“Yes. Absolutely.” 

They watch the snow swirl past them, against the slate grey sky. It’s weird, kind of, after all the drama… how normal this felt. Natural. Right. Like nothing had changed between them at all. As if they’d always been like this, curled up together. 

“Hey, Rod?” 

“Mmmm.” 

“I love you.” 

“Are you going to finally admit to how sentimental you are? Start being the sappy self I know you are internally?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Good.” 

Somewhere below them, the sounds of someone playing music. 

“Hey, Gil?” 

“Yup.”

“I love you, too.”    

[hereliesbitches--me]

Full name:  Toruga ( Winchester ) Nicknamed:  The Good Doctor, Father, Doc, Purple Pimp

Gender: Male Species: Demon Age: Immortal, appears to be in his late 30s, early 40s Sexuality: If its a shade of royal purple, its within that field of interest. Otherwise, he couldnt care less Nationality: Travels about, German based design. Dude is a demon imitating human design City or town of birth: The Enigma , The realm of Neikan and the Emotions Currently lives: Moves where there is work, primarily between Europe and the United States, where is assets are located Languages spoken: English, Spanish, German, Russian, Korean, Japanese, variations of the chinese dialect (fluent in Mandarin) , Hindi -- basically a workable understanding of many mainstream languages of varying countries. He’s old, he’s been around, and he is able to retain and learn easily Native language: prefers English and German Accent/diction: Speaks with refined annunciation with his English, but in a more relaxed state he has a slight German accent. Relationship Status: A widower still obsessed with his monsters and his creator but she just wont see him in such a way rip the man

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Height: 6’6 Weight: 160 pounds in human form, his dark form varies in weight Figure/build: Tall, stocky built. His muscle is primarily in his arms, legs, and chest, with a faintly noticeable gut (lowkey dad bod) Hair color: Black, peppered with grey strands Hairstyle: keeps it medium length but professional, Eye color:  A deep orange Skin/fur colour: His skin is a sandy beige complexion littered by dark discolored scars. Having tiger features, he has inverted colors with black fur and white stripes. Tattoos: Neikan’s branding is on his left inner forearm. Tends to stroke it absentmindedly  Scars/distinguishing marks: Toruga is littered by minor discolored scars all over his arms and chest, but his iconic scar is the 3 clawed slashing going down his face. Preferred style of clothing: In a button up collared shirt and black dress pants, coupled with his lap coat, He never really goes anywhere without his labcoat. He has no real sense of.. Dressing casual. If not his lab coat, he still wears a kind of trenchcoat in some way. And suspenders for a touch of extra class

HEALTH

Bad Habits: -Cant form real human connection - sees everything as object variables to dissect ,explore, and use for experimentation. - Regularly abuses the fuck out of the other negatives because they are inferior idiots - Sociopathic murderer (“for Science”). -Obsessed with Neikan, the demon who created him, and will turn on anyone in her defense, friend or foe. -Views any personal connection to a person like having a pet you're fond for, but nothing is above Neikan. -Stress smoker.

Addictions: -Sexually infatuated by the color purple, - Takes Sadistic pleasure in watching the bold break down, - Gets off on taking control and causing pain in the act of intimacy.

PERSONALITY

Personality: Toruga is a deceptive man by nature, a demon conjured up and hand made by Neikan herself, inspired by Josef Mengele which she had seen in the lives of one of her vessels. Being based on the mad doctor, Toruga himself is brilliant in the fields of genetics, biology, and the anatomy of anything he can get his hands on. Despite the basis, Toruga is simply a being that never was a child, thus has formed a persona that imitates human emotion and relations to get his way. He doesn't feel true connection, he doesn't feel empathy, sympathy, or guilt for what he does, as long as it feeds into the goal of appeasing his mistress and furthering her goals. Which makes lying and altering his persona to the liking of his associates quite easy. Toruga presents himself like a fatherly figure -- even tempered, soft but confidently spoken, and constantly utilizing praise and interest in another when he’s looking to make nice. He’s a master of manipulation and will not hesitate to research a person’s history, or gauge a weakness from conversation alone, and exploit it if it makes them more agreeable or himself more appealing.   He doesnt respond to insults or physical attacks,  not a single thing in the world bothers him, save for the failure of the negatives to complete a task, or if the insult is directed at his mistress. Or if it is impeding his work, because that would make him unappealing to Neikan. Only then will he react. And he will do so swiftly and violently to make his point known. He is not afraid of death threats, or to be beaten or dismembered or tortured, because of his inability to die (Thanks to his connection to Neikan. For as long as she lives, he can) He finds those sorts of threats mildly amusing, because he has been here for centuries, and he will continue to be well after humanity is nothing more than bones and Ash beneath their feet. His personality can swivel on a dime, but overall he is a fairly pleasant person to interact and talk with. He;s had plenty of time to master human expression.  Toruga also tends to be very physical when he shows interest, with subtle touches, unbroken eye contact, and closeness. Its simply the spider tossing the silk of his webs to capture the poor fly that has no idea the fate to come. He can be incredibly jealous and spiteful when it comes to what diverts the attention of his mistress

Strengths: Determined, Even tempered, charming personality. Incredibly intelligent and gifted with holding conversations. A great asset if you need a doctor to work on any sort of viral or bacterial bioweapon, or if ya need a guy that likes to alter and play with mortal genetics. His inability to stay permanently dead makes him quite the threat in theory, and with that demonic origin he does have supernatural strength compared to the average mortal. He has no real blood, just inky mass of dark matter that makes up his form and drips in imitation blood.

Weaknesses: Neikan. Divine weaponry and magic also hurt like a bitch and would require he directly return to neikan to get fixed up.

Fears/phobias: Failing Neikan to the point she abandons him or makes another negative to replace him.

Favourite color:

P U R P L E 

Did I say purple?  Very important to know. And any shade that compliments it.

Hobbies: - Kidnapping subjects indiscriminately based on their viability and their chance of being pursued, disfiguring them, wiping their memory, and then using them as test subjects for his viral bioweapon projects. - Making handmade clothing for his test subject children. He’s quite the skilled tailor. He especially loves dressing up his daughter before she ran away - Traveling about to meet with and work closely with assorted allies towards an end goal of toppling human society and shifting power - Taking out his anger and frustration on the negatives because they dont die - Talking to his dead husband he keeps perfectly preserved in a case down in his lab

Theme Song: - “Pet” by perfect circle - “Trust me” from the Devil’s Carnival

SKILLS

Talents/skills: - Tailoring clothing of all materials - Extensive knowledge of the medical field - skilled virologist and biochemist - Manipulative - Skillful liar

Education: Multiple lifetimes of trial and error through multiple dimensions and a variety of different levels of technology he’s explored with. Lacking any formal training, being an extension of his mistress means he also inherits the knowledge of her vessels. Coupled with his own experimentation and studied through multiple worlds.

Abilities: Being a demon made of dark matter means he’s endowed with an assortment of natural abilities, however unlike the more well known hell spawn demons, the negatives and their abilities from Neikan are typically only physical based.  Those abilities include: - Enhanced Strength and Endurance (built up after years of handling monsters, and the lack of human limitations/strains on the body) - Complete Regeneration (as long as the weapon is not enchanted or by divine means) - Minor shapeshifting, limited to his true forms. From human, to the black mass in the shape of a man, to a beastial tiger form - A photographic and auditory memory that retains just about any information he finds worthy of withholding. It also allows him to learn any language with ease after being exposed to it for a period of time

FAMILY, FRIENDS AND FOES

Personal history: Created around the time period of Pride’s((The Vessel) lifetime, 6 vessels prior to Nikki, Toruga was formed at first out of curious reasons and the need for a friend, but her intent with him became malicious shortly after her grief in the following life which split her soul into two halves. Left with nothing but malice and hatred for humanity, with the worst aspect of her being, Neikan utilized all her negativity to create a figure that would help speed up the process of ending the lives of the future vessels. Toruga was based on Josef Mengele, which Neikan had been exposed to as a child through the eyes of her second vessel, Hate. The demon was never a child, born as a perfectly capable adult to keep this young grieving woman company, it was at the start of his existence which paved the way to his obsessive love for his Creator. Toruga was her friend, her pet project that she left responsible with overseeing any of her new creations were given a job and set in order. While not active at first, Toruga observed humanity from the distance and learned the art of imitating them perfectly to blend in and manipulate what he understood. He studied their texts, he studied their culture, the array of species, their anatomies, their science and their technologies, absorbed it all until he could put it to use at the very end. Toruga is in love with his mistress, but with her fixation on her vengeance and the delicate heartbreak, she refuses to see him in such a way. Which, in turns, drives his unyielding determination to please her to make her see him. Coming to the existence of the last vessel, Nikki, things got complicated. Neikan assigned him a task to make a malleable beast that can infiltrate, a living machine to be the wolf in sheep's clothing, so when the last life became known, this being would be sent to kill it. Unfortunately for them, that bio weapon became the last life. Once inheriting Neikan and all the previous lives, any of the previous wiring he had instilled in the fetus were completely wiped away with the new presence of thought and free will -- the result, which would send Toruga on a wild chase to retrieve his experiment , all the way back to Earth. He spends years having to establish bases and connections on earth, all while scouring for his little project, taking well over 10 years before finally finding her. When he eventually does kidnap her and attempt to reset her mentally, Nikki retaliates and flees, leaving him with the iconic face scar he has now, but his project was now an unstable mess.  

Toruga is a man who juggles many projects at once. Despite a singular failure, he is always looking to make improvements, which would have eventually led to the creation of Malakaid as a failsafe to getting rid of Nikki, then immediately lost after yet another raid by Rosie and the authorities. But there is no stopping, there is always alternatives to getting what he wants. His web is vast, his determination and will unyielding. The world will fall to his mistress, one way or another. As of now, Toruga works closely with a variety of associates, primarily the Branches of Virtues because of their plentiful assets, and acts as a kind of apostle for Neikan to gain more souls willing to join their cause. His main project is a viral mutagen called the Uxoru virus, and helping work towards a modified super soldier serum made from Angel’s blood.

Parents names: Neikan Shadou (Sheila Lunarcrest)

Siblings: The other negatives, including John, Sebura, Kura, and Joku. By technicality, anyone made by Neikan is a kind of sibling.

Relationship with siblings: Toruga is the head honcho of the show, responsible for directing and punishing the others for their failures. Their stupidity and clumsiness prove to be incredibly irritating to him, and because they cant die he has no hesitation in brutally maiming and abusing them for it. They all have a bitterness, but a respectful fear towards him, and he knows it well. None of them are his equal, for he was the first, and he intends to keep it that way.

Partner/Spouse: -Vermont (Former husband, now deceased. Murdered mistakenly by Toruga himself after Vermont questioned Neikan’s intentions and plans. )

Children:

- Nikki Ai (His first experiment, artificially created and planted within a mother. She has no recollection of him as her creator, but rather this monster that hunts her down. She never came back as she was suppose to, and thus is a nuisance he needs dead)

- Malakaid (The second improvement to Nikki’s design , made from Nikki and Jacob’s dna, spliced with his own. Malakaid was stolen as a baby by Rosie and imprinted on her. Because of this, he will not go back to Toruga.)

( From his relationship with Vermont)

- Veronica Winchester (Eldest daughter, ran away at 12 years old.)

- Toby Winchester ( A young boy, still living with him. He drags him around on his work trips when he’s able to. Because he witnessed his birth parent murdered as a toddler, Toby is practically a skittish mute of a boy that fears his father but will not dare leave the way his sister did.)

Enemies:

Basically got beef with everyone bcuz he probably fucked over your loved ones at some point and just doesn't recall it. He primarily has enemies with Rosie( A very personal vendetta) and the Angel Project, the Divine Calvary, and any enemies of the Branches of Virtues. He doesn’t try to make enemies but if people are gonna try to stop him from completing his work because its “unethical” and “Inhumane” then a bitch gonna go into the cage with the rest of the subjects. But he’s a hard man to hate because as long as you are blissfully ignorant, he seems like such a pleasant man to keep company with.

Associates:

- The Branches of Virtue

- Nathair Elerdand

- Neikan and the Negatives

Affiliated verse:

Tag: :The Good Doctor (Toruga):

- Iniquitous Essence (The info above)

- Pokeverse : Toruga is a scientist of the Aether foundation , working on a secret specialized project for Lusamine, to create a world where human and pokemon are one -- as halflings. He experiments using genetic information gathered from the ultra beast data, along with splicing human dna with that of Pokemon, varying from adults to unborn fetuses. Everyone of which failed (dying in a matter of months, if born. Dying and resulting in a stillbirth. Or death induced by the Human body rejecting the intrusive genetics and triggering a shut down response) until finally there was Rosie. He studied her for the entirety of her childhood, a secret success he dare not report until certain she would not die like the rest, only to be lost in a fire (as far as he knows) aimed at silencing her rowdy father.

Much to his dismay, Toruga continues his research on human genetics, milking the foundations of its assets to feed his curiosity, with no real loylty to anyone but himself. But those skulligans are a promising bunch of nobodies to utilize for testing. He’s on the hunt to get his pet project back

[diversetolkien]

Hey yal! Below is a submissions I received regarding my Eol and Maeglin post. My responses are indented with the grey line! OPs are not!

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First of all, it is absolutely necessary to draw attention to the things you’re drawing attention to. Whether you are “right” or “wrong,” or whether anyone is “right” or “wrong” is beside the point of the argument in my opinion: these issues simply need to be addressed! We need discussion and different points of view and they all need to be considered and we need them now more than ever. There are clear examples that are sketchy to say the very least: good guys are fair-skinned but the evil men ((, Haradrim) are not; orcs, clearly bad guys, are “swarthy” and “slant-eyed”. However, I do believe your point about Eöl and Maeglin on June 10 are off the mark. I believe you get too carried away by the title “dark” and hang your entire argument up on that. As far as I know, there is no textual evidence that Eöl was a dark-skinned elf at all.

Hello there! Thank you for the message. I do want to emphasize that I’ve been incredibly reluctant to answer this. As of resharing my meta I received a terribly racist message from a user on the website, and will tread cautiously with addressing any messages regarding Eol and Maeglin due to that. I completely agree that we do need discussion, and I’m open for it. This is the only way we can progress. But I won’t tolerate blatant racism.

I’m not accusing you of doing such, but for future references I want to make this clear.

While you believe I may get carried away on the aspect of dark or ‘swarth’, I think it may be important to explain what racial coding is, and also to remind you of Tolkien’s history with coding and with people of color. I talked about coding on my twitter, but in short coding is ascribing real world traits to fictional characters.

This includes attributing the historical and social context to the text to prove a point.

We’ve discussed how Tolkien has borrowed from cultures aside from his own, and with The Silmarillion published in the late 70’s, it’s not impossible to see how influence from America and racial influence there have played a role in his writings.

I also wouldn’t call it being ‘carried away’, when, as we both agree, Tolkien has a history of racism directed at people of color.

And at the same time, I think it’s important to note that while you dismiss the possibility of Tolkien considering Eol dark despite the use of swarth, you ascribe swarth to the orcs and their skin tone in the same breath. I don’t see why it’s impossible for the two to mean the same thing. Not when we do have a racist author who grew up in a very racist society already using dark skin to describe evil characers. Not when Eol’s narrative of the brute mirrors that of the orcs (ie: Celebrian and the Orcs).

And regardless if it is explicit or not, Eol is still coded. Again, we know this because we have canon stories that mirror his completely. This being, again, Celebrian and the Orcs.

We can also accept that Tolkien’s constant use of “dark” to describe evil things, and “light” to describe good things comes from a place of racism. So why is there such push back when we analyze that further?

Tolkien was known to ponder about problems, such as missing words in the Germanic languages. The term asterisk-word is coined by August Schleicher for exactly this purpose: words that should have existed in a (dead) language but aren’t recorded and needed therefore to be reconstructed. For example, Tolkien doesn’t have a recollection of how he came upon the word “hobbit” but to make it fit his Legendarium he made the asterisk-word *holbytlan, supposedly an old English word meaning “hole-builders” because hobbit language was akin to Old English. This word doesn’t exist in old English but could (and maybe should) have. Tolkien also wrote a long argument about a particular difficult passage in the Beowulf-poem which you can read in “Finn and Hengest.” Now normally I would never try to talk straight what’s curved, but Tolkien is a bit of a different case as I hope the above examples show.

The case of Eöl is a trick(s)y problem that stems from the “Prose Edda” written by Snorri Sturluson, an Icelandic poet who lived in the 12th century. This is thoroughly explained by Tom Shippey in his essay “Light-elves, Dark-elves, and Others: Tolkien Elvish Problem”. A quick summary is (but one really ought to read Shippey’s essay to understand it) that there are light-elves, dark-elves, dwarves and black-elves in the “Prose Edda.” Germanic scholars such as Nikolas Grundtvig and Jacob Grimm bent themselves in all kinds of shapes to explain the “error” that Snorri made. Are the black-elves the same as the dark-elves? Are both black-elves and dark-elves dwarves? What about twilight-elves? Tolkien pulls all the different strands of this one problem together and called it Eöl the Dark Elf. He could never have done this in an academic work if he wanted to be taken seriously, so his fiction seemed a great outlet to deal with this. Maybe it was all a private amusement because Tolkien never mentioned it as far as I know.

I personally can’t recall Eöl ever being called dark-skinned. He is considered “black” due to the armour he’s wearing made out of the metal galvorn that he made himself after coming into contact with dwarves (which also ties in masterfully with the whole elf-problem, again, see Shippey’s essay), but it’s not skin colour. Eöl was called the Dark Elf because he lived in a place where the sun never came. It was called Nan Almoth, the valley of the star pool, and he loved the stars, and loved to live in the twilight. The twilight-part is important in the above discussion as well.

I understand you are trying to be informative but please don’t be patronizing. Please do not explain to me what I already know. In the future, I will not be answering messages like this again. This is incredibly rude. You are assuming I don’t know about what I made a meta about, and that’s an insult to what I’ve written.

Please read my blog fully before you attempt to whitesplain something I already know. I understand debate, but there is a clear different between wanting to have a healthy discourse, and flat out patronizing me and treating me like a child.

Back the the point; The same, again, can be applied to the orcs. The orcs wear dark armor, were tortured by a creature who is often described as dark, reside in dark areas—but we know clearly that they are coded off of people given the description of them being swarthy.

The same attribute that’s given to Eol. And again, we have a clear historical context and in-canon context. And we know that Tolkien borrows from American history, and that England itself had a huge role to play in that history.

Finally, the citation from the Book of Lost Tales (BLT) where Maeglin is called swart is problematic to me. I think it’s as much proof against your point as it is in favour of it. Many, many things have changed since the BLT was written and turned into The Silmarillion (I mean Sauron was a giant cat at first!). The BLT version of Maeglin being “swart” is a discarded  version and in The Silmarillion, a way later revision, “his skin was white”. I think it would be wrong to conclude Tolkien discarded the swart skin of Maeglin as he realised it was racist. I think he simply hadn’t figured out the elf problem of the Edda when he wrote the BLT.

I think this is all negated by the fact that Tolkien has canonical characters of color, and that they have been coded. I’m having an incredibly hard time wrapping my head around why that’s accepted, yet when it comes to Eol and Maeglin it isn’t. We can accept that Tolkien has a history of racism with people of color, based on evidence far less than what I’ve provided. Maeglin’s light skin can be attributed to the fact that his mother was light. It’s possible to have a dark parent and be born light.  

And regardless if it was changed or not, it’s incredibly important to discuss it due to the fact that it was racist, and deserves to be brought to light.

I want to stress, again, that I think your work and thoughts are important, no matter if I or anyone else agrees or disagrees. It is of the utmost importance to address issues of racism, genderism and any other kinds of ism that is out there. Discussion is what matters!

[thomas-mvller]

Tag games x 283129

Hello everyone so uh lately i've started to be more active on my music sideblog which means i've been hearting stuff like crazy for the past couple of months aka all the things i've been tagged in has been buried under all that nonsense SO because i hate leaving things undone i thought on doing them all at once and tagging a bunch of people so they can get a little distraction by doing them (as in, not all of them but whichever they might want to do)

Again: you do not have to do all of them, not even one if you don't feel like doing so! there's a game for everyone so hey!

Tagging: @havertsz @foreverbayern @germanynts @sherlockisonfire @debushit @sadiiomane10 @miasanmuller @elishamanning @abcde-fc @bbjim @littletentaclemonster @tamtam-elizabeth @minimalloss @pearfight and whoever wants to do this! if you see it, consider yourself tagged >:))

Alright, here we go:

1) I was tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth and @/sadiiomane10 to post a capture of my lockscreen, homescreen and last song i listened to. Thank you both <3

I used to be very annoying when it came to changing my lock/homescreen so now i just don’t do that often anymore (previous to that my homescreen was a pic of lfc winning ucl OBVIOUSLY) also i haven’t really been listening to music lately but i did have a depeche mode phase like two weeks ago and this was the song i replayed the most so hey!

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2) “Get to know me” tag

Tagged by the always thoughtful @/tamtam-elizabeth , thank you and i’m sorry for taking so long ;-; <3

Name: Cloud

Birthday: sometime in november

Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Height: 5′4′’ or 1.65 (last time i checked..... which was like seven years ago)

Hobbies: lately it has been sewing facemasks 😂 that aside i like watching movies, random videos on yt, baking and crafting sometimes

Favorite colors: black, red and teal

Favorite Book: don’t think i have one :o

Last Song Listened to: barrel of a gun by depeche mode

Last Movie Watched: currently watching prince of egypt. if that doesn’t count then ben hur 😂

Inspiration or Muse: i really don’t know what to say here 😂

Dream Job: i still haven’t given up to my goal but at this point i just want a job that gives me stability and zero worries

Reason Behind my URL: Thomas Müller (German pronunciation: [ˈtoːmas ˈmʏlɐ]; born 13 September 1989) is a German professional footballer who plays for Bundesliga club Bayern Munich. A versatile player, Müller plays as a midfielde- okay no in all seriousness yess this url is bc of a football player 😂

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3) Ten songs playlist tag

Tagged by the joy that is @/foreverbayern and the always sweetest @/havertsz . thank youuuuu <3

Rules: We’re snooping through your playlist. Put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

Some months ago I made the mistake of transfering the songs i had in my old computer to my current laptop and there are some stuff that just........ should not be acknowledged so i can’t do shuffle HOWEVER i will choose ten random songs i’ve listened to/discovered this year (technically speaking is the same) so here it is:

art-i-ficial by x-ray spex

sunny afternoon by the kinks

desire lines by lush

paper cuts by incubus

pure love by hayley williams

spirit by bauhaus

no one knows by screaming trees

let’s love by suho

all we need is a dream by cheap trick

cosmonauts by fiona apple

bonus: you’re so close by peter murphy (god i adore this song)

I wouldn’t be surprised if these aren’t your cup of tea tbh 😂

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4) “Core aesthetic” tag

Tagged by @/havertsz - i’m sorry for the delay ;-; and thank you <3

rules: search your name + "core aesthetic" on pinterest, get a moodboard & select a few photos that come up

i can’t really use pinterest so i googled it instead, as you might’ve guessed this is what i got 😂

ps: i’ve been informed not to use pinterest so if you wish follow this post’s indications

ah this is so pretty, i loved doing this!

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5) 

Tagged by @/germanynts @/havertsz and @/elishamanning to do this tag, thank you all <3

rules: describe yourself with pictures you already have saved. no downloading or searching for new ones. then tag 10 people.

if you want further explanations for each pic... ask ahead 😂

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6) “bold what applies” tag

Tagged by the always enJoyable @/foreverbayern, thank yoooou <3

rules: bold what applies to you and tag a bunch of people

- Appearance

I am over 5’5 // I wear glasses/contacts // I have blonde hair // I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing // I have one or more piercings (had three...) // I have at least one tattoo // I have blue eyes // I have dyed or highlighted my hair // I have gotten plastic surgery // I have or had braces // I sunburn easily // I have freckles // I paint my nails // I typically wear makeup // I don’t often smile // I am pleased with how I look  // I prefer Nike to Adidas // I wear baseball caps backwards

- Hobbies and interests

I play a sport // I can play an instrument // I am artistic // I know more than one language // I have won a trophy in some sort of competition // I can cook or bake without a recipe // I know how to swim // I enjoy writing // I can do origami // I prefer movies to tv shows // I can execute a perfect somersault // I enjoy singing // I could survive in the wild on my own // I have read a new book series this year // I enjoy spending time with my friends // I travel during school or work breaks // I can do a handstand

Relationships

I am in a relationship // I have been single for over a year // I have a crush  // I have a best friend I have known for ten years // my parents are together // I have hooked up with my best friend // I am adopted // My crush has confessed to me // I have a long-distance relationship // I am an only child // I give advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I met up with someone I have met online

- Aesthetic

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell // I have watched the sunrise // I enjoy rainy days // I have slept under the stars // I meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // I enjoy the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to music to fall asleep (i did that for a long time and i sicnerely don’t recommend it) // I enjoy thunderstorms // I enjoy cloud watching // I have attended a bonfire (quick story time: one time when i was 12 my friends and i sneaked into our seniors’ school anniversary activities and they lit this huge bonfire near the football field, it was nuts) // I pay close attention to colours // I find mystery in the ocean (spoopy shit) // I enjoy hiking on nature paths // Autumn is my favourite season

- Miscellaneous

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles // I am the mom friend // I live by a certain quote(s) // I like the smell of sharpies // I am involved in extracurricular activities // I enjoy Mexican food // I can drive a stick-shift // I believe in true love // I make up scenarios to fall asleep // I sing in the shower // I wish I lived in a video game // I have a canopy above my bed // I am multiracial // I am a redhead // I own at least 3 dogs

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my god this is getting embarassing i had stuff long due ;-;

7) 

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth. think you for thanking on me when doing tag games, i mean it :-: <3

How old are you?: 24

Surgeries?: one

Tattoos?: none yet ://

Ever hit a deer?: i have never seen one so... no 😂

Sang karaoke?: yeah... years ago 😂

Ice skated?: nope

Ridden a motorcycle?: had the chance but nope

Ridden in an ambulance?: nope

Skipped school?: a handful of times

Stayed in a hospital?: for a few hours

Broken bones?: nope

Last phone call?: i haven’t called anyone in ages 😂

Last text from?: my mom

Pepsi or coke?: coke but i don’t mind having pepsi

Favorite pie?: haven’t had one

Favorite pizza?: chorizo + corn + red pepper

Favorite season?: autumn

Received a ticket?: don’t even know how to drive

Favorite color?: black, red and teal

Sunset or sunrise?: both!

Favorite Christmas song?: don’t think i have one, maybe universe by exo?

Cupcakes or cookies?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh good q, cookies?

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8) “find your match” tag game

Tagged by @/tamtam-elizabeth, you’re allowed to punch me in the face at this point

Rules:

Take the test

Reblog this post with what type you got

Tag 7 mutuals to do the same!

I got the Dreamer and my ideal partner would be The Innovator ?)

Seek out opportunities to collaborate with INNOVATOR types, who combine your lofty idealism with a focus on pragmatic solutions. The grounding energy of the INNOVATOR can inspire you to apply your imagination to real-world change.

that’s deep fam 😂 but okay!

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9) “get to know me tag”

Tagged by: @/littletentaclemonster . thank you and sorry for the delay ;-; <3

nickname: cloud zodiac: scorpio height: 5′4″ / 1.65 last movie I saw: can you believe i managed to watch another thing while making this? anyway it was The celluloid closet last thing I googled: block site extension favorite musician: as of right now? depeche mode song stuck in my head: you’re so close by peter murphy other blogs: @/brltpop and @/s-lay-ing amount of sleep: as long as i can get (usually 7 or 8) lucky numbers: don’t think i have one dream job: whatever gives me stability what am I wearing: pajamas  favorite food: chinese, mexican and italian language: which ones do i know? spanish and english somewhat. i want to learn japanese and german :c can I play an instrument: nope favorite song: atm is YOU’RE SO CLOSE (8) random fact: my nails usually grow sort of square except for my thumb and index fingers, they grow round for whatever reason describe yourself in aesthetic things: ?????????? idk man, messy room? loose clothes? football? cd’s on a shelf, posters on the walls ?????

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MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS????????? 

10)

Tagged by @/littletentaclemonster you too can punch me in the face

Rules: Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR: I have small hands • I love the night sky • I watch small animals and birds when I pass them by • I drink herbal tea • I wake to see dawn • The smell of dust is comforting • I’m valued for being wise • I prefer books to music • I meditate • I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE: I don’t have straight hair • I like to wear ripped jeans • I play an organized sport  • I love dogs • I am not afraid of adventure • I love to talk to strangers • I always try new foods • I enjoy road trips • Summer is my favorite season • My radio is always playing

WATER: I wear bracelets on my wrists • I love the bustle of the city • I have more than one set of piercings • I read poetry • I love the sound of a thunderstorm • I want to travel the world • I sleep past midday most days • I love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs • I rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia • I see emotions in colors not words

EARTH: I wear glasses/contacts • I enjoy doing the laundry • I am a vegetarian • I have an excellent sense of time • My humor is very cheerful • I am a valued advisor to my friends • I believe in true love • I love the chill of mountain air • I’m always listening to music • I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life • I make my own artwork • I keep on track of my tasks and time • I always know true north • I see beauty in everything (sort of) • I can always smell flowers • I smile at everyone I pass by • I always fear history repeating itself • I have recovered from a mental disorder • I can love unconditionally

Water an aether huh, i don’t know what to do with this information 😂

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if you ask me i would very much appreciate it if you do the songs playlist tag bc i need recommendations thanks. Also massive apologies to the ones that were due since last year I had them in my drafts i swear!

Stay safe everyone :D

[fcarher]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: slug / ellie     Age: 19       Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Yunaeisha Adynora, other demons from my lore Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Yunaeisha Current Fandom(s): None really  Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Naruto, PKMN, Magi, Gangsta, OPM, MHA, Hazbin Hotel & currently working on an ATLA verse My language(s): german, polish, italian, english   Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: highschool, modern & fantasy/medieval

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting: the best way is just to straight up approach me. most often than not, just liking a post is not enough because it’s too vague ?? like if i post an idea & you like that, i’ll still be hesitant when it comes to roleplaying or approaching you because, while i appreciate such gestures, i’m just too anxious. therefore, plopping into my IMs without a properly fleshed out idea is also fine ! it, at least, gives me the hint that you’re actively seeking interaction. however, just saying “i want to roleplay & plot !” won’t cut it; at least, have something in mind, please !

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  basic ideas & pouring their heart into plotting! i don’t mind waiting, at all, so if you’re busy, don’t worry about keeping me waiting; i completely understand since i’m also often busy with work or university. but !! please don’t only come to me with the statement: “i want to plot!” it’s not gonna cut it & it’s not gonna help with a proper interaction, at all. if i approach someone, most often than not, i have SOME sort of idea in mind. but yeah, being passionate is the most important thing!

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  most often than not, the conversation will die down because i will loose motivation; i don’t like it because i’ll feel like a bother & i shouldn’t feel that way when it comes to a hobby! therefore, one-sided plotting is one of my deal breakers; i usually end the conversation & there will be little to no interaction happening. like i said; i don’t mind waiting, i just hate that feeling of coming on TOO strong when my plotting partner delivers no input. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  often than not, i start off with rather simple question like; are you interested in a certain verse ? do you already have something in mind ? if not, i will go through their about page & ask them things about their character & how that could possibly bring our characters to interact. sometimes, the about pages of a muse cannot give you every single bit of information; muses grow & change with each thread, therefore, it’s often better to just ask the people about their characters ! & from then on, it often just comes naturally. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if the thread is not THAT important or vital for our character’s relationship; i don’t mind & won’t need to know if the thread is dropped. sometimes, if it’s a heavily plotted thread & i’ve anticipated the interaction a lot; i’d appreciate a quick heads-up from my partner that they’re not feeling that certain thread any longer; i don’t mind that !! - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?: they don’t need to tell me; SOMETIMES, it’s just a nice gesture but most of the time, i don’t care, we can always start another thread !!

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  many things can lead to me dropping a thread; just losing motivation, having no muse for a certain genre or simply having the feeling that my partner is not liking it, any longer (ex. extreme lack of trying to match the reply length ). my health & my schedule can also, sadly, affect my motivation, so, more often than not, i tend to drop shorter threads & keep longer ones.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  i get anxious really fast if people stop replying for a very long time, out of the blue. it has happened to me once before with a good friend with whom i have no contact with any longer due to miscommunication & them not trying to communicate the issue with me; therefore, yes, it is very important. i wanna know if something is bothering you; i wanna know if you like something very much; i wanna know what’s up ! we’re humans & we’re adults; we can talk about this.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  yes ! as long as it is constructive criticism & not straight-up bashing my characters or lore; i’m all for it. i don’t mind hearing negative things; in fact, i appreciate the honesty & it gives me room to work on myself & my writing ! - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  building relationships that LAST & exploring my muses through & through; it is amazing how much yuna has grown through interactions with others; how different she has become from the yuna i once started out with; it’s almost been a year now & it’s just amazing. however, i’m not stopping anytime soon; THERE IS SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO EXPLORE !! the ultimate goal is for me to just look at my blog & be completely proud of what i have accomplished & written; i want fleshed out relationships & threads; deep stuff !!

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  yuna talking with someone about her struggles; mentally & physically. being open about her abusive father & how it has traumatized her & painted men in the worst picture one could imagine. HOWEVER; a hard thing because i don’t want these things to be pre-est or something; i want a thread where there is struggling, screams, conflict ! it is rather hard to find someone, though, who is willing & fitting to go onto that long journey with me & yuna. also, i’d love to write about darker stuff; i love fluff, though, sometimes i sure want a bit of that, too. 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  the only things i won’t rp or explore are stated in my rules; ex. pedophilia, rape & really descriptive animal abuse. killing, torture, gore as well as cheating, heartbreak or toxic relationships are okay, while i do prefer to have a deeper bond with someone while exploring the latter & be communicating the whole time; i think these are really REAL topics & that’s why i wouldn’t mind exploring them because it does happen, more than one would like them to happen. however, if i see you, the mun, glorifying or romanticizing these; just no. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: i like everything with some sort of substance; i love short ones as much as long ones, nevertheless, you have to give me something to work with. yuna would ignore anyone not of any interest or value to her; therefore, if your muse just asks her random questions, the interaction will go nowhere. if you’re unsure; just ask !!

What type of characters catch your interest the most?: i love characters with uniqueness to them; it can be a certain interest, certain appearance or their species can be totally unique to them; i’ll love it ! i do have a thing for villains, though; always had, even when i was young 8^) so, dark, stubborn & “evil” characters catch my interest far more than a really nice muse who just is all smiles all day. i love a muse that can kick mine & yuna’s ass, basically. someone with strong morals or who is just really set on their beliefs can also offer conflict which i ADORE !! i need it; i live for it !!

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  really kind & unbothered muses who are self-sacrificing, perfect & loved by everyone for no reason ?? idk, i just think it’s bad writing. everyone has flaws; no one is perfect ! 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  i am a very open person who will talk with you about anything & is keen on exploring our character’s relationship at all times & through all means; i often send my rp partners prompts in form of my yuna just being her dumb-self or through memes ! i will constantly think about our characters & will try to have them interact as much as possible. i am, most of the time, very active & respond to the threads fairly quickly ! if i am totally invested; you’ll get everything you want; a moodboard, an edit, a drawing, etc. i literally pour my heart & soul into every bond my muse has; i live for them. oh !! i also love asking people question about their characters; i just love learning new things about them !! 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m very slow out of character; i don’t approach muns a lot because i’m scared to be a bother, working on it ! i often ramble a lot & my writing can become a bit convoluted & hard to understand, i apologize ! i tend to not message people on discord as often as i’d like to; mostly because i’m really socially awkward or just don’t think that what i want to show to them is THAT important. i’m not as straight-forward as i wish myself to be; however, even with all that; i still have a lot of fun & am acknowledging & actively working on my weak aspects ! 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  often, it is because i want to develop the relationship or yuna’s character; she’s a very sexual being who hardly connects to someone emotionally; therefore, writing sex & exploring the vulnerability behind it can be really beautiful ! though, fun is also involved !  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  non-consensual stuff is a no-go ! also, certain kinks that make me uncomfortable are also off the table; ex. anything involving bodily fluids other than spit. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  i love the conflicts the most; clashing ideals or just two stubborn muses arguing for the heck of it is really fun & can develop the relationship beautifully ! yuna is a person who likes someone that can be properly fought with, verbally here. but of course, i also adore the very soft moments!! i love meaningless fluff; it warms my heart.  - What is your smut tag?: SINFUL.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: nothing TOO drastic; a friendship, a rivalry is a-okay ! however, i’m very hesitant when it comes to having pre-est. romantic relationships; though, you can quickly change my mind if you pour your soul into the plotting; then i’m fine with it ! everything that needs time when writing also needs time when plotting; don’t just straight up jump into something if you’re not able to give it your all.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  i think yuna is a person with whom it is easy to form relationships with; it takes a bit of time but due to her rather drastic ideals & opinions; anything can be founded within seconds. she doesn’t hold back when it comes to her honesty & conflicts will arise. also, for all muses with demonic or deity backgrounds; being a daughter of the literal queen of hell, though, also harboring fragments of a god’s soul makes her unique in the supernatural world which can spark interest with your character or even they can develop an ill-will towards her ? i think it’s really interesting exploring what makes one work & go on & yuna has the philosophical potential to tickle that out of your muse; she question EVERYTHING. now for certain plots; one-sided love or even friendships are always really interesting, especially when she is the one having such feelings. other than that; she has enormous & dangerous powers; so if you’re into character or world-building; can offer that as well !

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:  humans; she doesn’t approach humans who are just kind & have nothing to offer for her, the least she’d do is have sex with them or kill them to harvest their life energy. i’m sorry but she really does hate all of humanity & to change that opinion ? man, you must be the most stubborn person ever.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  characters who are of supernatural or demonic nature; she’ll be very interested & even nosy to a point. also, very attractive characters who are not afraid to speak their mind; she’s really superficial most of the time & will flirt with anything that she deems good-looking. muses who have ideals that contrast hers or that are similar to her but also, generally, people who are open-minded. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  sex, parties, plants & flowers, astronomy, writing, demons & hell, the underground scene, killing, knives & playing the piano - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the questions that bother her the most are; why did her mother had to die ? why would nobody help her while she was being abused by her father ? why was she kept alive by her sisters ? is there love out there for someone like her ? what do these strange visions mean that occur almost every night ? she has a lot of things she wants to experience & wishes to have a normal life once she has killed her other mother, lilith, which is her ultimate goal, at the moment.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  their appearance; the scent of their blood & if it differs from humans; how they react towards her & what they do in front of her.  - What do they value in a person?:    strong opinions, loyalty, good looks, humor, strength (not limited to physical strength) - What themes do they like talking about?:  herself or the world & the state of it; she likes being philosophical with some, can often be somewhat self-centered; THOUGH; it is almost always for her to see how they would react to that. 

- Which themes bore them?:  love & drama; she does not care a lot for gossip or anything relating to it; the topic of love, no matter in which sense, is always brushed off because she just doesn’t find any appeal in it. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  Being the reason her own mother committed suicide; Her father & sister abusing her all her life, spouting lies & beating her until she could stand no more while her other sisters would watch & do nothing, even though, they were supposed to support each other; laewa, one of her sisters, fancying the idea of killing yuna for the greater good; two of her best friends turning on her when they find out she’s not human & then being killed right in front of her eyes; her one & only boyfriend protecting her from a demon hunter & being killed in the process - What could possibly trigger them?:  loud sudden noises; making fun of her attachment to her late ex-boyfriend, being awfully nice to her, the sight of any dog or wolf, tender touches (esp. her back being touched), being alone with her thoughts for far too long  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  people who make fun of her & her powers; calling her a monster; not understanding her pain when she opens up; purposefully touching her back or any other scarred skin, being nosy  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  you are a demon hunter that does not show remorse when killing demons with a consciousness, trying to kill her, killing one of her comrades 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Keela Adynora, Myra Adynora (Father, Sister), the other D.O.L.s, EYES’ superiors (the organization she works for), Humans, Lilith - Is there someone /-thing they love?:  Evelin Adynora (Her biological mother)

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: If you’re not quite human or are a demon, you could literally stand next to her & be silent; she’ll become curious on her own. other than that; be interesting or flirt with her; just do something that does not involve small talk; she hates that.  - Where are they usually to find?:  strip club (her workplace), bars, clubs, clearings within a forest, nice areas that are full of trees & plants; a roof-top

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Yuna is basically pandora’s box personified; she may seem nice & attractive from the outside but within her are sleeping demons that only wait to be awakened. & withal, she is still a cutie who will become your number one supporter & protector if you manage to build a proper relationship with. it’s hard to get through that shell & what awaits is NOT that pretty but with years upon years of abuse, neglect & shit being thrown her way; it’s not easy being a carefree immortal. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar , i srsly love these so much, snow !! thank you for tagging me <3 i had so much fun 8′)  Tagging:  @thevvolf ; @nezumi-vc-103221 ; @empiia ; @dvojakyvlk ; @childrenxfthemoon ; @hensetsu​​ ; @goldempire​​ ; @animatedatrophy​ ; @talonness​ ; @shikkotsunin​ ; @wcrthlessanimal​ & anyone else !! 

[queen-of-deans-booty]

The Real Ghostbusters: Final Part

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,027

Warnings: typical supernatural violence, language, angst, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

“Well guys I guess we're out of time,” Chuck addressed the fans in the same conference room as before. “So, thank you for your incredibly probing and rigorous questions, and have a good night.”

“Chuck!” you hissed, rushing on stage.

Everyone stared at you as you grabbed the microphone so that whatever you were going to say couldn’t be heard by anyone else but him. Sam and Dean were gathering the hotel staff and getting salt to trap everyone in here while you go deal with the very real spirit—or four.

“There’s been a murder,” you whispered.

“What? Holy crap,” he gasped.

The audience heard him say that which caused murmurs in concern to erupt.

“You gotta keep everyone safe in here Chuck. This is life or death.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know, but please do it. We’ll try and work fast, okay?” you asked.

Chuck looked at you in the eyes, and he just sighed in agreement.

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know. Just do it. For me,” you nodded, leaving his side.

Leaving the conference room, you noticed Sam and Dean escorting all the hotel staff inside.

“Buddy, I got work to do,” the manager sighed.

“You're gonna want to see this, trust me. It's gonna be a hell of a show,” Dean smiled.

Once everyone was inside, he began laying the salt down in front of the doors to prevent any kinds of spirits to enter.

“So, new theory. The three boys decided to play a little too hard, they kill Leticia’s son, so she, in turn, kills them and then herself,” you laid down the line.

“If that's true it means we've got three bloodthirsty brats in the building,” Sam sighed.

“Yeah and Leticia was the only one keeping them under control,” you added.

“Smooth move on our part.”

“Yeah, well we gotta get back to the cemetery, and torch the kids' bones,” Dean suggested.

“How? We're trapped, and we don't even have our guns! The ghosts are running this joint and they're only scared of one thing.”

“Exactly,” you and Dean said at the same time, your eyes lighting up.

Dean didn’t have to wait to be told this, he opened the door, grabbed the ghost actress, Lila, and closed it once more while you made sure the salt line was still intact.

“What the hell?” she asked, shrugging out of Dean’s grasp.

“You saw that boy in the library, we know you did. We need you to distract the other spirts in this building,” Dean said, getting right to the point.

“You want me to do what?”

“You're an actress. We just want you to act.”

“I work at Hooters in Toledo. No, you can forget it.”

“You’re with us, you’ll be safe. I promise,” you said. A hand dropped on your shoulder, and you turned to see the trio that were dressed like you.

“We wanna help,” Tasha nodded.

“Just give her the puppy dog thing okay?” Dean whispered to his brother before approaching the two men and woman. Leaving the actress’ side, you headed over to where Dean was. “Guys, no.”

“Why not?” Barnes asked.

“‘Cause this isn't make-believe.”

“Look, we know. We're not nuts. We're fucking terrified,” Tasha nodded.

“Yeah but if all these people are seriously in trouble, we gotta do something,” Barnes declared.

“Why?” Dean asked.

“Because that's what Sam, Dean, and Y/N would do.”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” the actress sighed.

“Okay, this is how it’s going to go,” you announced, gathering everyone’s attention. Sam and Dean let you take over since they trusted you to guide everyone to do their part. “Sam, Barnes, and Demian will get those doors open, go to the cemetery, and find the bones of the children. Burn them, okay? Tasha, Dean, Lila, and I will go into the library and distract them long enough for you to escape. It’s only a matter of you guys burning the bones before these ghosts kill everyone here, okay?”

“Break!” Barnes and Demian exclaimed as they rushed to the front door.

Sam sighed, but he followed them while you turned to Tasha and Lila.

“You’re going to great. Dean and I will be right there with you. Nothing is going to happen to you.

“Okay,” she whispered.

She entered the library hesitantly while you, Dean, and Tasha waited on the other side with iron pokers in your hands.

“I don't wanna do this,” Lila whimpered.

“We’re right here sweetheart, we’ve got your back. Trust me, this is going to work,” Dean encouraged her.

“Boys? Boys? Come here this instant,” Lila spoke, but nothing happened. She knew she had to give it her all if the ghosts were to come. “You come when I call you. You understand me?”

“Miss Gore?” one of the ghosts said, standing in front of her.

“You boys have been very naughty. Now you open the doors. Open the doors right now,” she said in a stern voice.

The ghosts flickered back, clearly worried and scared of her.

“Very naughty, you hear me? Naught, naughty, naughty,” she played the part.

However, at the last word, her phone started ringing and a hip-hop song began playing. Closing your yes, you sighed in frustration because you knew this was fucked. Tasha looked worried, but you held your hand up before walking in the room with Dean.

“Run,” he ordered.

Lila scrambled out of the room, and you were about to say the same thing to Tasha, but she looked like she wasn’t going anywhere. The three ghost boys raise their knives as they started to inch closer. Using their ghost powers, two of them threw Tasha and Dean into the walls. Dean lost his iron poker, and Tasha hit her head which knocked her right out. A ball of magic formed between your hands, and you threw it at the three little boys which was enough to distract them while you went to Tasha. Dean knew how to handle himself with ghosts, but Tasha could not if she woke up.

Sam rushed into the room at the last second, and he picked up the iron poker lying on the ground and swiped it through all three boys. Once they were gone, he helped his older brother off the floor while you got Tasha to wake up.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she nodded as she sat up.

Suddenly, Sam was thrown back into the far wall, and he lost the iron poker. All three ghost children appeared as they went to fight different people. Dean is pinned to the floor with the smallest of the boys, Sam was grabbed the by hair by the largest boy, and the middle boy came rushing over to you and Tasha. He had his knife out, and he grabbed Tasha’s hair to use it on her, but you stopped him.

Grabbing the boy’s arm, he counteracted the motion by letting go of Tasha’s hair and grabbing yours. Tasha couldn’t see it, but your eyes began to glow as you used your magic to keep the boy off you. He had a murderous glint in his eyes as he touched the tip of the blade to your scalp. Whatever Barnes and Demian were doing, they better do it fast. A split second later, all three boys went up in flames which meant the wannabe hunters did their jobs. Sighing, you leaned back to catch your breath.

All of this was a good enough distraction to keep you away from your headache, but it was back more than ever…

… and it fucking hurt.

Once the doors were able to open, emergency vehicles arrived to check out anyone that was hurt, and to take the German man’s body away. Dean was with Barnes and Demian, Sam was talking to Becky and Chuck, but you were with Tasha away from everyone else.

“Thank you for wanting to help with everything. Very brave of you,” you chuckled.

Tasha had her contacts out so they were her normal color, her jacket was wrapped around her waist, and her hair was in a ponytail.

“If it wasn’t for you, then I wouldn’t have done it. So, thank you,” she chuckled. “So, I never got your name.”

“Y/N. The real Y/N,” you admitted.

She stared at you but laughed because she didn’t believe you.

“Yeah, right,” she laughed, and you made sure she was looking at you before you did what you did.

Your eyes flashed bright blue, and that seemed to do the trick because she stopped laughing.

“See you around, Tasha,” you winked, leaving her side to walk to the car.

There wasn’t anyone around, and that gave you all the energy you needed to focus on the headache you still had. Flashes of Amara popped up in your head, and you mentally cursed at her to leave you the fuck alone. She was there to stay, and your breathing was picking up at how overwhelmed you were. It’s been a while since your last panic attack, but that didn’t mean they were gone.

“Leave me alone, please,” you whimpered as you started to pace the length of the car.

When you got to the tail of it, you turned only to see Amara standing there right in front of you. She was real, she was here, and she was coming to get you. Screaming, you backed away in fear as tears formed in your eyes. She reached out to you and grabbed your shoulders, but you screamed louder.

“Get away from me!” you yelled.

People started to stare at you from all around, but you blocked them out as best as you could. Blinking to let the tears out, you noticed when you opened your eyes, Amara was gone and Dean stood in her place.

“Y/N, it’s me. Calm down.”

“Dean?” you gasped in short breaths.

You were going crazy, and you really wanted this all to end. Dean knew there was only one way to calm you down when you were like this, and he pulled you in close. He wrapped his arms around your back, forcing your head to lay over his heart.

“Listen to my heartbeat, Y/N. Follow its beat,” he said in a calm voice.

The steady beat of his heart was loud in your ear, and it took everything in you to focus on it. Dean slowed his breathing down so that you could follow it, and when you got yourself semi-under control, you began crying in his arms.

“She’s everywhere, Dean. I see her in my dreams, I’m seeing her when I’m awake. I don’t know what she’s doing to me. I don’t know what to do,” you cried.

“Hey, listen to me,” he said, pulling away to look at you in the eyes. He wiped the tears on your cheeks in reminder to get you to stop crying. “I know it’s scary, okay? I wish there was something I could do to make it all go away. When we get out of this town, we’ll contact a witch or someone who can help get her out of your head. Maybe Cas can help. Maybe Gabriel. All I know is that I’m going to take care of you okay? You don’t need to be afraid when I’m around, okay?”

“Okay,” you sniffled, looking down in shame.

Dean knew you were going to be alright, so he kissed your forehead and brought you in for another hug.

“Hey! I got a lead on the Colt,” Sam announced as he approached the car. “What’s wrong?”

“I’ll tell you on the way. Where’s the Colt?”

“I’ll tell you on the way,” Sam said, getting into the front seat.

Dean muttered something to you before opening the back seat.

“Get some rest, okay?”

He shut the door once you were inside and climbed into the front seat. He turned the car on and peeled away from the hotel.

Chuck watched as Dean drove away, and he couldn’t help but give a solemn look.

“Oh, Amara, what are you doing to her?” he muttered to himself.

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[missmischievouswriter]

The Place Between Rage and Serenity- Part 1

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr believes he is alone in the world until he meets Charles Xavier, someone like him. A mutant. And someone with the same goal of stopping Sebastian Shaw. While putting together a team of their own Charles brings in a mutant that is a lot more like Erik than anticipated. Erik knows he needs to find the place between rage and serenity to control his powers but he never expected that place to be a person.

Pairing: Reader x Logan (Platonic), Reader x Charles (Platonic) Reader x Erik (Future)

Word Count: 1,895

Warnings: None

The first time I met Charles Xavier he wanted to talk with me about my mutation. To study me for his thesis. To try and get a better understanding of how mutants work. I agreed to sit down with him to talk.

The second time I met Charles Xavier was something I wasn't expecting.

..........

Wiping down the bar top for the fifth time that hour I sigh. Weekdays are always slow, no one comes to a bar mid-day to drink except the occasional college student or shift worker. And since I'm a woman, and it's still not that common for a woman to be working in a bar, they stick me with the day shift. The front door creaks as it's pushed open, my eyes flicker to the clock and I chuckle. Same time every day. Grabbing a glass and filling it with some whiskey, I turn and place it on the bar as Logan sits down. Logan is someone you wouldn't expect to be very friendly or talkative from looking at him, but surprisingly he is (at least to me). For one he is huge, over six feet tall with visible muscles, a chiselled face with visible stubble and dark brown hair. He's good looking but I've never seen him that way and I don't think he's seen me that way, considering he's called me kid from the moment he started coming in here.

"So, anything new to tell me?" I ask leaning forward and resting my arms on the bar top.

"You know there's nothing ever new with me kid." He pulls the glass ashtray towards himself pulling a cigar out of his pocket and lighting it.

"One day there will be." I straighten up.

"Mhm." Logan grunts.

We are both silent for a moment as he takes a puff from his cigar and a swing of his drink, setting the glass down on the bar top and looking me in my eyes. "Why are you still working here kid?"

I shrug, "I like it I guess."

Logan gives me a questioning look, "You like working day shifts in a bar?"

"Interesting customers."

Logan chuckles, shaking his head. "You could do a lot better kid."

"So could you but yet here we both are." I grab the whiskey bottle and refill his glass, "Plus if I got a different job we wouldn't get to have these lovely conversations every day." I smile.

Logan chuckles, "Guess you're right there."

I scoff, "Come on Logan, am I ever wrong?"

Logan raises his eyebrow at me, not saying anything. I cross my arms over my chest, pointing at him briefly as I say, "That doesn't count."

He chuckles again, "Pretty sure it does kid."

Logan left after about 45 minutes. I place his dirty glass with the others and dump out the ashtray, giving it a quick wipe with the rage before putting it back on the bar. Placing the rag back under the bar I turn to grab the washed glasses one of the bust boys brought out from the kitchen. Crouching down under the bar I place them all in their correct spots. Standing back up I fix my blue and green plaid mini skirt and pull my black knee-high boots back into their spot. Tightening my ponytail I turn to the wall behind the bar to start organizing the bottles. The door creaks as someone pulls it open. God, I need to get one of the boys to oil that thing, it's starting to drive me nuts. Footsteps make their way towards the bar.

"I never thought I'd find you here, in a place like this." An English accented voice speaks as the footsteps stop. A voice I recognize all too well.

Turning back around I place my hands firmly on my hips, "You better be here for a drink Charles Xavier." Charles smiles at me from his seat at the bar. He looks as handsome as he did the first time I met him, with his messy yet net brown hair, clean-shaven face and blue eyes that look as if he staring straight through you. On Charles left is a man, presumably his friend. He's handsome, dare I say more handsome than Charles. With a strong jaw, light brown hair that is swept to the side neatly, and striking blue-grey eyes. I tare my eyes away from and look back at Charles.

"Y/N, this is my friend," Charles motions to the man beside him.

"Erik Lehnsherr." He speaks for the first time, his voice is rough yet it has a smoothness to it and I feel my breath catch in my throat for a moment. His voice, like Charles, has an accent. Even though his accent isn't very thick it's still there slightly, and it's one that I recognize all too well. German. Having been born in Heidelberg and living there until I was 16 it was one I could never forget.

"And although we aren't here for a drink we are not opposed to one." Charles continues with a smile, my eyes flicker back to his and I let out a breath. Leaning down slightly, I grab two glasses from under the bar, placing them in front of the two men "Charles if you are here to ask me about that again it's a strong no." I give him a look as I fill both glasses with whiskey, placing the bottle down on my side of the bar afterward.

"Well I'm not here to ask you about that specifically but it does have part of the reason why I'm here. Y/N how would you-"

I raise my hand, "I'm stopping you right there Charles. No."

He sighs, "You don't even know what I was going to ask."

"Charles I don't care, my answer is still no." I cross my arms over my chest.

Erik's eyes flicker between Charles and me as he sips his drink.

"Please Y/N, allow me to at least explain. I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't of the utmost importance."

"Charles you more than anyone should know why I have a reason to say no. You more than anyone should understand that."

"But that's exactly why I'm here. Sebastian Shaw-"

I shake my head, back up from the bar. "My shifts over. Consider the drink on the house." Turning, I walk towards the back of the bar, grabbing my coat and making my way towards the exit.

..........

Charles and Erik turn, watching Y/N walk out of the bar.

"I have to say, friend, you failed quite miserably at that." Erik chuckles, sipping his drink. “She is quite pretty though, you did forget to mention that.”

Charles gives him a look "Come on, I'm not quitting yet." He gets up from the chair and goes back out the front door. Erik sighs, downing his drink and following Charles.

..........

Sliding the key into the lock, I twist it and push the door open. Stepping inside I see Charles and Erik sitting on my couch. I slam the door closed behind me.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Charles?" I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Y/N you must consider what I am saying. The good you can do-"

"Enough Charles! How can you not understand that I just want to live in peace? Do you know how hard it's been to keep under the radar? I don't exactly want people knowing I'm a mutant. Tell me, do you think my hair is naturally this colour or do you think I dye it?" I motion to my hair, the raven black of it shines with multiple colours like an oil spill, the colours coming through more when it moves and when light shines on it.

Charles looks at me as if trying to read my mind, but the wall I keep around it presumably blocks him out. My eyes flicker to look at Erik, leaned back in the chair with his chin resting in his hand, he appears to be studying me. I look back at Charles who sighs.

"I believe you dye it."

"You're wrong," I state. "My hair is naturally like this Charles. One thing you don't understand about mutations is that they can have a physical manifestation too, something that isn't linked to the mutants powers like Raven's. Through the hair or the eyes or a mark on the skin. I never told you that my hair is due to my mutation because I didn't want you putting that in your paper, I didn't want you talking about it. The whole world doesn't need to know about us Charles."

Charles stands and walks towards me, "Y/N please, just listen to what I have to say. I-"

"No Charles," I say, my voice cold now. "If all you came here to do was ask about my mutation again you can leave."

Charles sighs, he places his hand on my shoulder, "If you change your mind you know how to contact me."

"I won't," I say firmly. Charles sighs again, giving my shoulder a light squeeze before letting go and walking towards the door, leaving the door open for Erik to follow. My eyes move to him, having watched Charles leave. Erik hasn't moved from his spot, his still sitting with his chin resting in his hand watching me.

"You can go." I motion to the door.

"Why don't you want to help?"

"You just heard why. Now go." I motion towards the door again.

"No. That's not the real reason."

"Excuse me?"

Erik stands and walks towards me, "You're scared. Charles may not be able to tell but I can. What you're scared of I don't quite know yet."

I stare Erik down, "I'm not scared. And you don't know a thing about me."

But the truth is I am and that's the exact reason I said no to Charles. I'm scared of being found out again, I can't relive what happened last time. But Charles, nor Erik, need to know that.

"Are you sure about?" Erik asks. "Because I can see it in your eyes. The way you talk. The way you are holding yourself. You aren't angry. You're scared. Is it of being found out? That's it isn't it. You don't want anyone knowing you have abilities." I didn't think my body language was giving away how I really felt, Charles couldn't see it, but somehow Erik could.

"I-"

Erik ignores me and keeps talking, "You shouldn't be ashamed of your powers. They are what make you unique. Stand out. And being with others of your kind will allow you to explore them, not hide them from the world, and you'll be protected. You won't have to run anymore."

"What makes you so sure I'm running and hiding?" I ask.

Erik takes a moment to look around my apartment. Besides the small amount of furniture and the few pieces of art hanging on the walls, it's empty. No family photos, no personal effects. My eyes watch him as he briefly looks around before his eyes turn back to lock on to mine. "No one's home is this empty if they aren't running." He's silent for a moment. "I promise you, if you help us, join us, you won't have to run anymore. You won't have to be scared." And with that Erik moves past me, walking out the door. Leaving me to think about what he said.

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

As it began

Fandom: Xmen: Apocalypse (with mentions of Xmen: Days Of Future Past)

Specified gender: Female

Pairing: Warren Worthington III x reader/ Platonic!Charles Xavier x reader

TW: language, death, mentions of suicide, a lot of angst

Genre: ANGST 

Word Count: 9.4K

Requests: OPEN

Masterlist

A/n: THE GERMAN AND POLISH IN THIS PROBABLY ISN’T ACCURATE (There are translations) italics means flashback! The second gif will make sense when you read the fic ;)  This is a Warren x reader, but it HUGELY focuses on Charles and the reader's relationship.  And Bitch. I’ve been working on this fic for well over a month and I’ve been so hyped for it. I’m so incredibly happy that I get to post it. I got the title idea from White Queen by the way. Enjoy you guys! I’m so proud of this fic!!!!! Also, this is the longest fic I’ve ever written by FAR! Massive thanks to  @writingfortoomanyfandoms for listening to my constant bullshit and proofreading certain parts. Ily wifey.

When Charles had taken her in as his own, it'd changed both of their lives. She'd been abandoned on the steps of his mansion when she was just two years of age, causing a large amount of panic to be instilled in the mutant. He and Hank had gone over any and every possible scenario, including making the decision on whether or not to keep her. Eventually, after a long, and quite heated discussion, Charles settled on the decision of keeping her. To raise her as his own. (Y/N) Xavier had her father wrapped around her little finger. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for her. That was until he began taking that evil serum that gave him his legs but took his powers. At that stage in life, she had been residing in the mansion for four years, meaning she had been there since 1968, six years after Charles losing any use of his legs. And for some reason, that thought agitated Charles. But he never yelled at her. His anger was always at Hank or anyone who tried to visit. However, even after he'd stopped taking the serum and reopened the school, he'd sent her away to Erik, knowing she would be safe in his protection. 1975 became (Y/N)'s worst year for that one reason. It was a little too much for the nine-year-old to understand. And no matter how many times Erik attempted to explain it to the young girl, she would never understand. She couldn't understand why mutants were exiles and reject, seeing as the only ones she'd yet to come into contact with were all beyond kind to her. Of course, she didn't understand.

But she understood now. A whole eight years later had brought equal amounts of good and bad knowledge of mutants to her vulnerable mind. Erik's family had become her own, though Erik would tell her stories of her own father at her times of need and fear. It comforted her, though she hadn't seen him in a long time, the memories she held of him were fond and brought a smile to her face. (Y/N) had been sitting on the couch reading a book and Erik's wife, Magda, was folding some clothes. It was peaceful. Magda was like a mother to her, as Erik was a second father, and Nina was like her sister. Suddenly, Erik rushed through the door, causing the teen to jump at the noise of the door bouncing against the wall. He was speaking through hurried words about how they all had to leave.

"You did a good thing; you saved that man!" Magda argued, putting a hand on Erik's arm as he began collecting belongings, dashing through the rooms, his wife hot on his heels. She watched from the couch, unsure of what to do, feeling helpless and lost.

"That's not the point. If I'm exposed, we're all exposed," Erik stopped, moving to stand before his wife, resting a hand on her cheek, "We have to go."

"This is our home. This is our two daughters home," She shot back, gesturing blindly towards (Y/N) and she felt her heart warm, despite the tense and fearful situation.

"We are their home. I told you who I was the first night I met you. I trusted you then. I need you to trust me now. We can't stay here anymore," A sigh escaped his wife's lips and she glanced at the girl, still sat frozen on the couch, though she was on the edge of her seat now. (Y/N) knew very well how dangerous it was for Erik's cover to be blown, despite being young at the time of his most recent incident. She was young and naive. But she wasn't completely stupid.

"I'll go get Nina," Magda stated before darting upstairs. Erik's eyes fell to the girl. Practically his other daughter. He could see the panic in her eyes. The fear she felt. He felt guilty. Slowly, Erik made his way over and pulled her into a hug. (Y/N) breathed him in, feeling safe in his arms. Her real father wanted nothing to do with her, she hadn't seen her adoptive father in years, so being held by a father figure was one of the nicest feelings she'd experienced.

"I know you're scared, but you've no reason to be. I made a promise to protect you and I will keep that promise to you, my wife and my daughter, even if it kills me," (Y/N) had never known sentimentality in his voice before Magda. It was almost like a breath of fresh air when you heard it for the first time. But the moment was broken by Magda, rushing back downstairs.

"She's not in her room," Magda's voice held trepidation and that made the teen incredibly anxious like never before. Instantaneously, she broke the hug and bolted to the window, seeing Nina's common spot barren.

"I don't see her out back," (Y/n) added, feeling her heart drop to her toes. Quickly, just as Erik and Magda began running around the house, she pulled on her shoes. Before she could get outside, Erik had already beaten her too it and the trio was sprinting to the forest, calling out the child's name. All of them felt their blood run cold at the sight of a group of police officers gathered in an opening, the front officer holding Nina in a tight grip, unrelenting even as she squirmed and struggled.

"Are you okay?" Erik called to his daughter, eyeing the police officers with narrowed eyes, anger spiking through him as they tightened their hold.

"Nic jej nie jest( she's fine), "The officer reassured coldly and Magda took a step forward, despite Erik's warning glance.

"Then let her go!" She yelled and (Y/N) carefully took Magda’s hand in hers to settle her despite the rage coursing through her.

"Zrobimy to. Chcieliśmy tylko porozmawiać (We will. We just wanted to talk)" Another officer added. The teen could spy Erik shooting Nina a reassuring look, and she calmed slightly.

"Nie nosisz odznaki. Żadnego metalu( You aren't wearing your badges. No metal)," Erik remarked quietly, watching as the officers shifted uncomfortably. It was clear they feared him despite their tough exterior. Their twitching. Their nervous habit. The things that made them so painfully human. The things that made them so weak.

"Niektórzy ludzie z fabryki powiedzieli, że coś dzisiaj widzieli. Coś, co nie miało sensu. Byłeś dobrym obywatelem, Henryk. Dobry sąsiad, dobry pracownik. Chciałbym w to uwierzyć. ( Some men from the factory said they saw something today. Something that made no sense. You have been a good citizen Henryk. A good neighbour, a good worker. I would like to believe that)" Magda took another step forward at that comment. Erik was a good man. (Y/N) thought so anyway.

"On jest (He is!)" She yelled, the hand that wasn't linked with (Y/N)'s clenched. However, th police simply ignored the woman, continuing on. (Y/N) was desperate to say something. But she knew better. She'd been taught, both by Charles and Erik, that in a moment of potentially life-threatening conflict, let adults talk, until she was one herself.

"Ale nikt w mieście tak naprawdę nie wie, kim jesteś (But no one in town really knows who you are)," The man raised his eyebrows a little, prompting Erik for a response.

"Wszyscy wiedzą. Jestem Henryk Gurzsky! Jacob, nawet zjadłem u niego obiad ( Everybody knows. I am Henry Gurzsky. Jacob, I even had dinner at your place)" Erik sounded panicked. Something she hadn't heard in a long time. He was scared. Terrified even. Jacob's eyes turned venomous, eyebrows turning down into a glare.

"A ty cały czas kłamałeś. Wpuściłem mordercę do domu (And you were lying all the time. I let a murderer into my house)."Jacob growled, but the family tensed in unison as the front police officer, the one holding Nina, produced a newspaper. It had a black and white picture of Magneto on the front, back in Washington, "Czy to pan nazywa się, Magneto? (Are you the one called Magneto?)" Erik's eyes turned desperate. He spared a glance at the women behind him. He couldn't do this to them. But he had to.

"Poddaję się. Proszę. Pozwólcie mojej córce odejść.( i surrender. please. Let my daughter go)" He begged, taking a cautious step forward, eying the archers with distrust evident in his blue hues. Tentatively, the officer released Nina, the girl instantly sprinting into her father's arms. Erik returned the hug tightly, wishing he could stay with her forever.

"Idź z matką. (Go with your mother)" Erik murmured to his daughter, tenderly pushing her so Magda could pull her into a protective embrace, tight against her body. (Y/N) wanted to intervene, offer herself instead, pull Erik back. Anything. She had been taught better to act on her emotions. Nina fought against Magda, trying to break free of her arms, screaming out.

"Proszę! Nie zostawiaj mnie. Nie pozwolę im cię zabrać! (Please! Don't leave me. I won't let them take you!)"Birds flocked in, seemingly, out of nowhere, aiming their sharp beaks and beady eyes at the officers. Their claws scratched and their beaks pecked, all of the officers ducking and flailing their arms in surprise. Magda speedily twisted Nina around, trying to stop her. But in all the commotion, everyone failed to notice a singular arrow shooting through the air.

(Y/N) let out a short scream as the arrow struck Nina, eyes widening and tears filling her eyes, hand covering a mouth as a sob escaped her throat. Erik's eyes were glossy and he sprinted over, collecting his wife and child in his arms. His nose was buried in his daughter's hair, tears leaking down his cheeks. She couldn't believe it. They were gone. A part of her wished it had been her instead of them. After all the hardship Erik had faced, he deserved happiness. And he'd found it. And in a second he'd lost it again. (Y/N) wished the arrow hit her. Erik barely glanced up as Nina's locket began floating before suddenly raced through the air. The metal glided through the men's necks, each of them falling one by one. He caught the bloodied locket in his hand, clutching it tightly, before letting out a sob into his girls' shoulders. (Y/n) felt terrified. She'd never felt that way before. Not around him. Never around him. Erik knew that without even looking. Why wouldn't she be?

"You should leave. You're no longer safe with me. Germany is the safest place for you right now. Away from me.

Only a few days later, (Y/N) had found herself in Germany, finally using the language Erik had taught her so many years ago. She was alone. Vulnerable. No one to guide her. No one to call a friend. Or a father. Her place of residence, given that she had no money, had become an abandoned bungalow. The bricks were disintegrating with every day that passed, rain pelting through the gaps in the roof whenever the weather called of it. Most of the doors had been knocked down, but the few that remained were slowly rotting away. It was always freezing and made her curl into herself and shiver, but it was the closest thing she had at home. Half of her brain was screaming at her to go back home to Charles, but she had no way of returning to her dad. So there she stayed, avoiding anyone she could, only leaving when she really needed to. Somehow, she fell into some sort of a schedule, giving her some peace of mind, Until they came. She'd been hurt. She was unprotected. She was a perfect target.

A large crash distracted (Y/N) from her task, instantly placing her on high alert. Erik's words swam around her head 'Don't let them corner you' ' Don't let them overpower you.' Carefully, and as silently as possible, she lifted herself onto a low hung piece of wood. The seventeen-year-old hoisted herself through a gap in the roof, head peeking over the side just as a small group barged into the room she was previously positioned in. There were two females, both held themselves defensively. One of them had pure white hair and the other had dark hair. Complete opposites but nothing particularly interesting to (Y/N). When her eyes shifted over to the two males, her opinion quickly changed. All of a sudden, the group had piqued her interest. The man, if she could call him that, was tall with a strong physique, easily towering over the others, His face was a light blue, dark navy etching decorating his face. Then she saw him. Blond curls sprouted from his head, making him look angelic as light filtered through the broken windows, huge opposition to the leather jacket he wore. He had gorgeous green orbs and (Y/N) felt her heart stutter. She watched as the group looked around, mumbling hushed words between them. She couldn't help but wonder if they were looking for her. But, surely, that was impossible. Why would they be looking for her?

"There's no one here. You were wrong," The woman with white hair stated, and the three younger followers turned their harsh stares to the man stood in front of them. The blue-faced man remained still, almost frozen until his eyes suddenly snapped to (Y/n). Her eyes widened in shock, her heart pounding, and she launched herself off of the short roof. As soon as she hit the floor, her legs were moving as fast as they could carry her, They may not have been a risk, but she didn't want to take that chance. She sped through the empty field that isolated the bungalow, desperately trying to reach the forest before they got too close. She prayed for luck. She didn't receive it. A loud clinking sounded from behind her, strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulled her backwards, letting go the moment before her body made contact with the hard floor. A groan broke from her cracked lips and she sat up slowly, shielding her eyes from the sun. A figure blocked the sun a second later. Then two. Then three. Then four. Her eyes opened, fear glistening in them.

'Don't show fear' the words, though spoken to her so long ago, snapped her back to reality. (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows, glaring at the group.

"Wer seid ihr?( Who are you?" She demanded, using an arm to support her body. When she received no response, she could feel resentment rising in her.

"Ich sagte, wer Zum Teufel bist du? (I said, who the fuck are you?)" It was then she noticed that the curly haired boy had two silver, metal wings growing from his back. An angel in sense of the word.

"Wir Sind Hier um Ihnen etwas anzubieten ( we are here to offer you something), "The angel responded and (Y/N) stood up, finding amusement as the three younger people tensed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Oh? Und was wäre das? (Oh? And what would that be?)"Every second that passed made her feel more on edge, wishing Erik or Charles were there.

"A way to show your true potential. Your mutation is your greatest strength," The blue-faced man's voice was low, breathy. It sounded almost like he was choking.

"Verpiss dich ( Fuck off). I don't have a mutation. So thanks, but no thanks. You wasted your time," After living in Poland for so long, a slight accent tinted her voice, intriguing Warren greatly. Yet, it almost made her cringe, memories of Magda and Nina clouding her thoughts. Just as she had turned her back to the group, she fell to her knees, a scream of agony tearing through her mouth. Millions of thousands of voices filtered into her brain, all overlapping and shouting. Her ears rung and she brought her hands to cover her ears, nails digging into her scalp. For some unknown reason, the sight bothered Warren immensively and he had to turn his head away. Her screams made him want to vomit. In her moment of weakness, (Y/N) failed to notice the ice gathering around her knees and her fingertips. Frost patterned her hand and arms and the ice gradually slithered down to her elbow. But just as the voices had begun, they were cut off once more. Chest heaving, she looked over her shoulder, fearfully taking her hands from her ears.

"What did you do to me?" She breathed it. She'd never heard herself sound so defenceless. She hated it.

"I showed you your true ability. If you come with me, I can train you to your full potential," A voice deep down was telling her to run. But in that moment of unguarded emotion, she accepted.

When (Y/N) was brought back to Poland with Storm, Psylocke, Warren and Apocalypse, Warren could feel the uneasiness radiating from her. The assembly arrived outside a factory, a man she knew far too well stood in front of the entrance. She hid behind Warren and, despite only knowing her for a few hours, he felt like he had to protect her. The longing glances didn't go unnoticed by Psylocke, who narrowed her eyes in warning. Warren swiftly outstretched his wings just enough to cover the newly discovered mutants. He didn't know what had come over him. All he knew was that he would die for her, should it come to it.

"Who the fuck are you?" Erik turned to face them, flinching when Apocalypse took a step closer "Stay back. Whoever you are, don't try to stop me from killing these men," (Y/N) shuddered. Never before had she heard him speak like that. She knew what he'd done in the past. Who didn't? But hearing those words from his mouth unsettled her.

Their fingers were locked together as Apocalypse ran a hand down Warren's temple and cheek, leaving a black tattoo in his wake. It'd been days since he'd first met her, but something had clicked between the pair. An angel, who never allowed himself to trust anyone, had become attached in such a short amount of time. That alone made him anxious. And he wasn't the only one. Erik had nearly fought her trying to make her stay away. He wanted to protect one of the last family members he had left. Both himself and (Y/n) knew that he couldn't do that if she went through with it.

"You can't do this," Erik stated, watching as she patched up a hole in Storm's outfit. Something Charles and Magda had taught her.

"I can. And I'm going to," She replied, eyes still fixed on the needle and thread, pulling a piece of thread between her teeth.

"I won't let you" He shot back, and though his voice was calm, she could tell he was perturbed. Before he was discovered in Poland, he'd never been so firm with her. Upon her thirteenth birthday, she had been granted free will and trust. She never dared cross him. Always the perfect child. Erik not once failed to see Charles in her, though she wasn't biologically his. His characteristics had rubbed off on her. And Erik didn't know if he could bear to see her fall.

"Erik, don't try and stop me. I've made my decision," (Y/N)'s voice turned harsher, taking the thread from her teeth as she finished working on the outfit. Despite the tense atmosphere, she still gracefully folded the outfit. Something Charles used to do, Erik recalled.

"I promised Charles-" Alarm bells rang in Erik's head when she stood up, an ice blast shooting from her hand, narrowly missing his ear.

"Fuck what you promised Charles! He decided to give me away to you, so I couldn't care less what he says," She seemed surprised as he was. Not at any time had she said a bad word of Charles. She'd admired him for forever. She was already losing her way. It hurt to see. Though at that moment, Erik's emotions took charge, causing him to snap. Something he swore he'd never do in front of her. Yet it had happened twice.

"You're not putting yourself in danger! I won't lose you too!" In his rage, a stray piece of metal flew at her, knocking her into the wall. Her head made contact with the wall before she fell down onto her hands and knees. A shaky hand came to graze the back of her head, pulling back only to see a bit of blood staining her frosted fingers. Upon seeing the blood, Erik took a few steps back. No. He had hurt her. He was supposed to be her protector. How could he? With all the commotion, Warren had run in, instantly rushing to her side, a hand on her shoulder and another on her waist. He was glaring daggers at Erik as he carefully helped her out. Expletives escaped Erik's lips as he threw the nearest object at the wall, making it shatter on impact.

"Ow, fuck," (Y/N) hissed, flinching away from Warren's delicate touch. The angel narrowed his eyes, pulling her back to his chest.

"Hold still," His words were harsh, trying to hide the rising concern in his body, accidentally pressing a bit too hard on her head. She turned in his lap, now straddling him, slapping his shoulder sharply.

"Careful!" That tone frightened her. Since she was young, her words were soft spoken. Charles had instilled it into her. The coldness of her voice was icier than her mutation could ever be. It was like a shard of glass, impaling whoever it was directed at.

"Can't you see that I'm trying? I could just leave you here to sort your own shit out, "Warren grumbled, glaring at her. She let out a sigh, resting her head on his chest.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for taking care of me, Warren," (Y/N) was exhausted. He could see it in her eyes. She'd been pushed to the limit by Apocalypse when training. Never giving her a chance to catch her breath. It wasn't fair. But she needed to learn. Warren released a frustrated huff, linking his hands behind her back. Why couldn't he stay mad at her? He'd been notorious for holding grudges against people for years over the smallest things, yet he couldn't seem to bring himself to be angry at her. Somehow, that irked him more.

"Warren, did you hear me?" She repeated, causing Warren to snap out of his trance and look down into her sparkling (E/C) orbs. He didn't expect what he did next. He didn't know why he did it or quite how it happened, but before they both knew it, their lips were locked in a searing kiss. (Y/N)'s fingers tangled in his hair and Warren gripped her hips, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Her lips were perfectly moulded for his and he felt like he'd died and gone to heaven. Fitting for him, really. The moment felt amazing but Warren broke the kiss, placing his forehead on hers. He resisted the temptation to touch his lips, still tingling from the hard but oh so wonderful kiss.

"(Y/N), you know we can't do this," he mumbled, his hot breath fanning over her lips. The warmth of his lips was teasing her. But she knew that he was right.

"I know," She responded sadly, not yet daring to open her eyes. Because if she opened her eyes, she wouldn't be able to hold herself back.

"I don't want us to get involved. We're going to war in a few days. And if we carried this on when that happens, there's no guarantee we'll return to each other. I can't hurt you like that," His words were barely audible like he was terrified of the thought. And honestly, he was. Silently, she nodded, climbing off of him, beginning to walk the door. He swore he could hear both his and her hearts breaking as she stopped at the door.

"Thanks for fixing up my head. I appreciate you more than you think."

Erik was mumbling to himself as Apocalypse decorated (Y/N)'s back with a dark tattoo, a long-dead language imprinting her skin in barely legible writing, just about visual through the sheer costume she wore. Her (H/C) locks had been tainted a dark blue at the ends, closely matching the shade of her fingertips. The subtle changes made her look different. Erik wasn't quite sure he liked it at all. All of a sudden, Apocalypse turned abruptly, staring directly at Erik. His head turned up to the ceiling after an almost silent statement she couldn't hear.

"It's always the same. And now this. No more stones; no more spears, no more slings; no more swords! No more weapons! No more systems! No more!" The god's voice raised with each item, bouncing off the cold stone walls and reverberating through the ears of the mutants. (Y/n) clung to Warren's hand. And at first, Erik thought her to be scared. But to his great dismay, he saw a grin rise on her cheeks at Apocalpyse's declaration "No more superpowers." Erik couldn't bear to see her change of character. The evil glint in her eyes. The darkness that tinted her innocent smile. He barely noticed a portal being opened until Psylocke aggressively pulled him inside. The group reappeared in a hallway that was pain-wrenchingly familiar to Erik and (Y/n). She tried to ignore the ache in her heart when she noticed the shock and sadness that crossed Hank's face upon seeing her. Then there was her father, leant over, unconscious in his wheelchair.

"Erik," Raven began softly, only to be interrupted when Erik speedily extended his arm, Charles' chair being dragged to him, his body limp and lifeless. It hurt to see him but she rapidly turned with Psylocke and Storm and walked back through the portal. A violent cough escaped her lips as she inhaled some sand on the other side. Warm gusts of air blew her hair and a drift in the wind brought out a desperate scream.

"CHARLES!"

She couldn't bring herself to look at her father. Despite the change of views and perspectives being brought to light, she couldn't watch him in pain. Warren had noted it. Of course, he had. (Y/n)'s tense uncomfortableness had not been lost on him. It was a dead giveaway. He wanted to guide her. Help her. But he couldn't risk it. In such a life-threatening time, he couldn't let himself get attached. A thought tickled the back of his mind. Because he knew it was too late and he was absolutely, positively sewn to her. Anyone could suspect it, given how close in proximity they remained at any provided moment together. Erik could see it. And he knew the look they both gave each other. The look he used to give to his wife.

A groan rose from Charles' mouth as he slowly regained consciousness. Warren knew little of (Y/N)'s backstory, though, from the way she shifted beside him, he could perceive that she and the professor had some sort of history, as clearly strained as it was. Charles reached up, pinching the bridge of his nose. Something she remembered him doing when everyone's thoughts were particularly loud.

"You're blocking me. How?" He asked, annoyance and confusion concocted together in his voice. Hearing his voice after so many years almost made his daughter flinch and question herself. What was she doing? She didn't stand by Apocalypse's values. Yes, she did. Of course, she did. Why would she be here otherwise? Apocalypse leant down slightly before taking a seat before him. Charles' eyes were squinting from the almost blinding sunlight beating down on the group.

"I can shield their minds from your powers. One of the many gifts I've acquired over the millennia. But to see inside the mind... to control it. That's your gift," Apocalypse got closer, his voice lowering in volume. Menacing. Almost. "You saw it, didn't you? The glory of what's to come," Charles wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a response and jerked his head to Erik instead.

"You're going to take part in all this killing? The destruction?" Erik's eyes narrowed at the question.

"It's all I've ever known," He replied and Charles let out a weak, quiet scoff.

"No, it's not. You've just forgotten," Charles responded instantly, propping his arms against the floor so he could sit up. (Y/n) could remember being picked up by him and being driven around the mansion with him in his wheelchair, everything passing in a blur. She could remember, when he started taking the serum, chasing her around in circles, laughter echoing through the entire house before the mood swings kicked in. That was her father. And she was siding against him.

"No Charles, I remember. Your way doesn't work," As Charles tilted his head to look back at Apocalypse, a gleam of metal in the sun caught his eye. His heart almost shattered at that moment. She was there. His daughter. (Y/n) was stood right there, hand locked with Warren's, eyes glued to the floor. He'd watched her grow with Cerebro. But it was nothing like seeing her in person. He only wished it had been under better circumstances.

"(Y/N)," Charles called out softly. He observed helplessly when her face shifted before his view was obstructed by shining wings as Warren turned her around, arm around her shoulder, wings extended

The clinking of wings was the only way (Y/N) knew Charles had been placed down. Until there was a gentle request of her name.

"(Y/N), he's using you. You know that. This group aren't good for you. You don't stand for their beliefs," She didn't. She knew that. No. She did stand for them. She had to. Both desperation and disappointment were present in his voice. She narrowed her eyes, turning sharply on her heel.

"How would you know what morals I stand for? You haven't seen me since you gave me away," She snarled and Warren eyed the exchange curiously, watching sadness fill Charles' features. He was looking at her like he'd never seen her before. It took everything in her to not crack under Charles' gaze. And Charles could see it. In her eyes. But he also saw something darker. A force. A state of mind that he'd taught her to fight. And she'd succumbed to it. He couldn't see her fighting it once more.

"I gave you to Erik to protect you," He shot back, pushing himself up slightly.

"Well, look how that turned out," A loud crash outside distracted the two teens and Apocalypse made an entrance, his thundering footsteps slowly making their way closer.

"Enough," His voice, though hushed and lowered in volume, seemed to load the expanse of the room vibrate through every crevice."My children, you have done me well. Guard this place. Let not a soul disturb us."

"You're just another false god. Whoever's left to follow you and when this is all over they will betray you again, "Warren shoved Charles back against the stone slab, a grunt escaping his lips at the contacts. Charles had to keep his eyes on Apocalypse, for if he looked at (Y/n) he knew he'd see something he'd always feared. Seeing her lose to herself.

"(Y/N), go find Storm and Psylocke. I'll deal with the disappearing bastard," Warren did a tester spin, sharp feather-shaped knives firing from his wings. Perfect shot.

"Keep yourself safe," (Y/N) replied, adjusting her outfit. Warren gave her a smirk, disguising his concern with his bad-boy demeanour.

"No promises," With that, Warren launched himself into the air, flying to the peak of the building, positioned in the darkness. (Y/n) let out a sigh before sprinting out into the light, scrubbing her eyes as they adapted to the beating sun. In that second, however, a flash of silver knocked her over, a punch instantly being landed on her cheek. Another punch was placed in her ribs before someone pulled on her legs, tugging her so her head made contact with a stray stone, reopening the wound previously left by Erik. Peter attempted to strike the girl once more but ice swarmed around his ankles, pinning his feet to the ground. With a growl, a blue blast exploded from her hand, knocking Peter back. She was gone before he had the chance to get up. Loud snarls came from behind her, Hank gaining up on her. As he went to attack, she turned to face him and his eyes widened. The shock caused him to come to a harsh halt, his heels digging into the sand. She was here. A sharp pain tore through his body before he could contemplate the thought, ripping an agonised scream from his body, barely able to see Storm hover over to (Y/n) and pick her up to place her on a building top. It gave the mutant better aim. Storm hovered in the air, situated in the large gap between (Y/N) and Psylocke. Psylocke looked over at the two.

"Split them up!"She called, nodding at Scott, Hank and Jean. Storm's eyes transformed into a bright white, electrical sparks dancing between her fingertips. (Y/N) and Storm shared a look as (Y/N) sent ice in a line between the mutants, Storm using the solidified water to turn the ice deadly. The three x-men jumped out of the way, narrowly avoiding the skin-frying river between them. Just as (Y/N) went to assault them again, a flash of light distracted her, watching in horror as she saw Warren and Kurt disappearing and reappearing every few seconds.

"(Y/N)! No distractions!" Psylocke hissed, but she had already taken off, using the ice to quicken the place. That was until a red beam fired right beside her leg, singeing part of her outfit as she was sent to the side. She let out a pained moan, rubbing her ribs to ease the pain of landing on some metal. Suddenly, that same gust of wind returned picked the girl up and threw her in a pile of rubble, half of it collapsing on top of her. (Y/N)'s arms were pinned to her sides. She could barely breathe, only able to let out an almost silent call for help. She was going to die. No. She couldn't die. She'd never been so petrified in her life. Storm rushed over, earning a furious glare from Psylocke

"Leave her! She put herself in danger!" She exclaimed, using her neon pink rope-like whip to attack Hank, curling around his neck. Storm paid little mind, floating over to the pile (Y/N) was buried under. She began clawing at the rocks, tossing them behind her. All of a sudden, another pair of hands joined Storm in her quest to free the younger mutant and she looked up to see Erik pulling at the rubble. After a few seconds, though it felt like years, a hand poked through and the pair helped pull (Y/N) out. She coughed violently, holding her throat tenderly, rubbing her eyes to rid them of the dust that had fallen into them upon impact. Erik gestured for Storm to leave and (Y/N) attempted to silently ger up, only to be pushed back down by Erik.

"What are you doing? I need to get back out there!" She stated weakly, though the ambition in her eyes was undeniable.

"I think you've done enough for one day," Erik barely finished his sentence before he was sent backwards bt an ice blast. (Y/n) stood up, jumping onto a neighbouring rooftop, looking back ar Erik.

"Good thing I don't need your permission," she remarked and sprinted off. 

Warren noticed her on the roof as he soared through the air, risking a glance between the plane full of mutants and the girl. He yelled out her name and the duo shared a gaze as she leapt off the edge of the building. There were few people she trusted with her life. For some reason, Warren was one of them. Similarly to a few days ago, Warren's arms worked their way around her waist, but instead of tugging her to the ground, they elevated her instead. The winged boy landed on the plane, still keeping a tight grip on (Y/N), using his razor-blade feathers to cut a hole. (Y/N) and Warren dropped through the hole, facing the X-Men. She caught the group, each of them latching onto a different part of Kurt. She could barely look at Charles when an odd sense of guilt began climbing through her but she tried shoving aside as Warren began advancing. She quickly followed behind, watching with panicked eyes as the group started to flicker. But just as Warren went to pounce on the group, Hank jerked the plane so its nose was directed to the ground. The horsemen were sent backwards and (Y/N) let out a pained scream as Warren's wings lacerated her right arm. With an almost impossible strength and swiftness, Warren spun himself and the girl around. Tears had filled her eyes as the cut in her arm began throbbing and Warren's face contorted to one of sadness. No. She knew that look. He couldn't. He wouldn't. But he did. His wing sliced through the wall beside her and she latched onto him before he could get to the other side of her.

"No. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare, Warren," Warren closed his eyes at her plea, resting his forehead on her own.

"I'm sorry," He whispered before he jolted her backwards and cut the other wall. Her body was sent flying through the air, terrified shrieks tearing from her throat. Two arms caught her before she got too close to the ground and she looked up to see Storm giving her a worried look. She placed her down but as she went to speak, a yell broke from (Y/n) as the plane made contact with the floor with a near-deafening crack.

"WARREN!" Her feet couldn't seem to carry her fast enough. X-men kept trying to hit her but she dodged their attempts. Warren was the only thing on her mind. The wreckage was being swallowed by flames, her arm was stinging and her head pounding. She had to get to him, Casting snow over the fire, she looked around frantically until she spied his sweetcorn- blonde locks. Desperately, she began shoving metal and rubble out of the way, finally reaching him. Cuts and bruises bloomed on his face and neck and she dreaded to think what wounds lingered beneath his clothes. Tears dribbled down her cheeks as she cupped his face. (Y/N) was almost too scared to check his pulse. She didn't want him to be...he wouldn't be. He'd be fine. He had to ber. The x-men watched in shock at the interaction. They'd almost forgotten that most of the group were still kids. Just like them. Erik eyed the pair. He knew there had been something going on between them. She was like a daughter to him. And he knew he had to help her. Slowly, he extended his hand, face twisting in concentration, focusing on the plane. Shakily, the remnants of the plane began rising, lifting from the trapped boy and Erik placed it down a few metres away, Reluctantly, (Y/N) put her fingers on his pulse point, almost releasing a sob of relief when she felt a pulse, as erratic as it was. One of her tinted blue hands ran through his hair, lips wobbling slightly. Hank couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Erik had saved Warren's life purely because (Y/N) cared for him. He'd never seen that much sentimentality in Erik. It gave him hope. For both Erik and (Y/N).

But now, there was a rage bubbling inside her like never before. Apocalypse had tricked them. Offered protection for his army in their most vulnerable moments and nearly gotten Warren killed. He had to be stopped. For Warren. She stood up on trembling legs. Her body language screamed weak, especially considering the blood that leaked down her arm, playing an acrobat act on her fingertips before dropping the ground. But the fire in her eyes was bone-chilling. Wiping away the last of her tears, she looked over to where Apocalypse was stood. Raven's throat was gripped between his strong fingers. (Y/N) could see the fear on her face. On everyone's face. But she couldn't see Erik. Where could he have gone? She froze, hiding behind a wall.

"The great hero. You are feeble. Just like the others," (Y/N) saw Storm's face, shock plastered on it. She could faintly recall Storm telling her that Mystique was her idol. And she was being strangled right in front of her. She couldn't imagine what that was like. She didn't want to "CHARLES! Come rescue your weaklings! Give your life for theirs!" It was then that her eyes latched onto silver strands. Peter's leg was crooked at a weird angle and an expression of pain was painted onto his face. "CHARLES! Will you do nothing?!" There was a pregnant pause, suffocating everyone in suspense. (Y/N) had no idea where her father was. She could only pray that he was safe. Swiftly, she spared a glance at Warren almost as if she was trying to build up her confidence. She had to do this. For him. He had to be safe. And if Apocalypse won, he wouldn't be.  A loud thud pulled her eyes back to the group. Raven had been discarded on the floor, gasping for air, and Apocalypse had fallen to one knee. His eyes were squeezed shut and he kept wincing as if he was being abused by an imaginary force. Until he suddenly opened his eyes, a  dark glare flooding to his features. His hand rose above his head as he stood once more, the wall to one of the few buildings scattered around Cairo being resorted to dust. (Y/N)'s mouth fell open and a small gasp escaped her lips when she saw who had been revealed. All the x-men (minus Peter and Raven) were crowded around Charles. Menacingly, Apocalypse began advancing, a sly smirk crossing his lips and as (Y/N) moved to step out, a large chunk of metal landed directly in front of Apocalypse, then another, creating an X. Apocalypse turned, as did (Y/N), and scowled. She grinned in parallel. Erik hovered over them, stone-faced.

"You betrayed me," Apocalypse stated, a glare taking his eyes captive.

"No. I betrayed them," Erik's voice was sharp before thousands of pieces of metal came shooting at Apocalypse's form. Carefully, (Y/N) adjusted the arm of her outfit covering the wound on her arm. She had more important things to worry about. Hank and Scott leapt from the building, Hank racing to Raven and moving her out of the war zone. Scott yanked his glasses from his eyes, a red laser beam coming from his orbs. (Y/N) looked between them before outstretching her arms ice blasts repetitively being discharged from her hands. Everything was going...well. Too well. As soon as that thought swam into her brain, Hank attempted to pounce on Apocalypse, only to be deflected and knocked unconscious upon hitting the wall. Erik was struggling and almost stopped when (Y/N) was sent flipping through the air, landing on her arm. She cried out when her arm with the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks in pain. Only two noticed Jean stepping out onto thin air. A loud scream was released into the atmosphere followed by an almost blinding orange light. With squinted eyes, she looked up, gripping her arm tightly. Upon the scream, Hank jumped awake, quickly punching Scott out of the wall. A purple force field began surrounding Apocalypse as everyone except (Y/N), unleashing their powers.

"He's getting away!" Hank growled. He'd barely finished his sentence when a crash of lightning struck the force-field sending a deafening crack into the air. (Y/N) watched with clouded vision, a tiny smile coming to her face in relief as Apocalypse began flaking away, his eery words lingering in the breeze.

"All is revealed," With a quiet sigh, (Y/N) let her head fall back against the grainy floor, allowing the gathering of black dots control her sight. The last thing she heard was two desperate cries of her names.

Warren had never been so worried his entire life. He couldn't sleep, he could barely eat. Charles had practically forced him to leave the infirmary. He was an outcast. He wished he could say he wasn't used to it. When she was there, he felt wanted and needed.  But she was still unconscious a week after the battle. Charles had almost been sick when Erik had come to him with (Y/n), a deep gash implanted into her arm. And when she had woken up, he wanted to be the first one to see her. Unfortunately, she didn't want the same thing. Warren had given her the biggest smile she'd ever seen and, despite being high, on what felt like, nine different types of painkillers, (Y/N) smiled right back before, pulling him into a deep kiss. This time, Warren didn't push away. Though her father was ecstatic that they were happy, another part of him wanted to cry. Since she got to school, she'd avoided him like the plague. If he taught any of her classes, she took off the second he dismissed his students. She refused to accept the telepathic training he'd offered and never came to his office when asked to do so. After a lot of hesitation from the others, she soon made friends with Kurt and Peter but even then, she stayed with Warren. Hank had tried his best to talk to the girl, but only ever got curt responses. Warren and (Y/N) had been given a room together and it was filled with happy memories, despite her attitude outside of it. She'd never loved anyone the way she loved Warren and he could safely say the same.

"Warren, are you listening to me?" Charles asked, alerting the attention of his love-struck angel. Warren's eyes snapped back to the professor, a small smile still glued to his lips. (Y/N) had come outside with Kurt and the pair had sat together on the grass, sipping tea that Kurt had brought out with him. No words were exchanged between the two, just silence as their eyes both skimmed over their books. She looked so peaceful and content. Recently, she'd been beyond stressed because of Warren regrowing his old wings. She cleaned his wings every night and massaged his back when it got sore. Never did she complain. Never had he been touched so tenderly by another person since he was a child. it almost made his heartache for how much love she had to give. But when his eyes fell to her arm, a shiver ran down his spine. He did that. He hurt you. The guilt he felt seemed to triple every time his eyes grazed over the scar. However, he had his old wings back. Soft and fluffy and so much safer for her.

"Sorry professor, I got distracted," His head turned back to (Y/n), a grin forming. Charles sighed, heart, stinging, but forced a smile on.

"Go to her. We'll continue this another day," Not even a second after he'd finished, Warren had already flown halfway across the garden to (Y/N) and Kurt's picnic blanket, nearly knocking over the teapot. Kurt let out a playful grown that earned a laugh from Warren before he pecked her lips, beaming into the kiss. Charles watched with a heavy heart, only to freeze when your eyes locked with his. He gave her a small wave accompanied by a sad-smile, only to be disheartened further when she looked away. Warren's arm wrapped around her shoulder as Kurt babbled away.

"Everything alright, frosty?" He mumbled, eyes scanning her face from any discrepancies.

"I'm fine," She quickly turned back to Kurt, distracting herself with his excited explanation of a movie Scott took him to see.

"Professor?" A young voice called. Charles turned his head to glance to his doorway. Alexander stood there, red locks glittering in the light of Charles' fire, blue eyes shining in fear. The clock on the professor's desk read long past midnight. He shouldn't be awake, let alone other students.

"Alexander? It's late, what are you doing awake?" Charles placed his pen down, wheeling over to the eight-year-old.

"They're arguing again. And it's really cold," He had barely noticed that Alexander was shivering. No one had to who 'they' were. The past three nights, Warren and (Y/N) had been arguing, waking up other students with their yelling or (Y/N)'s lack of control over her mutations. However, in the past three days, Hank had dealt with it but Hank had gone to another country to collect a student. So it was time for Charles to face the music. With a miniscule shake of his head, Charles lead the boy back to his room, directing other students who'd left their room back into them. Kurt suddenly appeared in front of Charles.

"It's getting worse. I think that it's serious this time," Kurt said, concern filling his heavily-accented voice, his hair ruffled and eyes still crusted over with sleep.

"Alright, Kurt. Don't worry. I'll sort it out. Go back to bed, please," Charles reassured the mutants and Kurt gave him an awkward but grateful smile before disappearing once more. When Charles reached the door to (Y/N) and Warren's room, he could hear their conversation clearly through the door, shooing students who continuously exited their rooms.

"Babe, we both need fucking help! You can't keep being so selfish!" Warren boomed, his wings folding behind him as he circled the room anxiously.

"I never said you couldn't talk to him! I just don't want to myself!" She snapped back, a hand running through her hair. She was sick of having the same quarrel over and over again.

"Why not? He's your father! You said you were close!" Charles felt his heart stop. They were arguing about him. because of him.

"Yeah! We were! But how could I face him after what I did?" Her voice lowered, so Charles could only hear the beginning of her statement. A few more words were murmured behind the door before Charles turned the handle, both pairs of eyes snapping to him like deers caught in headlights.

"(Y/N), my office. Now. It's not a request this time, either," Charles commanded, though his voice was soft and kind. He made his way back to his office, waiting for his daughter. He daren't read her thoughts. He couldn't invade her privacy like that. After a few minutes, the quiet creak of his office door made Charles look up from the papers before him, watching (Y/N) sheepishly making her way into the room. Her eyes were fixated on her fingers, eyeing how small fragments of frost danced around them. From the moment she stepped in, a chill filtered into the air, making Charles pull his blazer closer to his body.

"(Y/N), you are aware of what you've done, aren't you?" His voice remained soft and gentle. A part of (Y/n) wished that she could open up to him. Be like they used to be.

"Of course I am. Just don't understand why Warren isn't here too. I wasn't the only one," She grumbled, picking at the old worn chair she sat in. That chair used to be in the living room when she was a little girl. Bought back fond memories that she'd rather not think about.

"Because I've needed to talk to you for a while but you've never come to my office," Charles responded pointedly, raising his eyebrows. (Y/N) looked to the burning fire to distract herself.

"I'm only here now because Warren made me," Charles remained silent for a moment, looking at the picture on his desk. It was an old picture, taken when (Y/n) was only three, of her in his lap. He was tickling her as she tried to read a book, her mouth open in laughter and a huge smile on his face. His girl. Sat right in front of him. And yet, it felt like he was talking to a stranger.

"You should know better than to disrupt other students so late at night. It's not fair to them. I know it's not the first time it's happened this week as well," He continued, folding his hands on the desk, gaze intense.

"Alright, I'm sorry. Can I go now?" She huffed, crossing her legs.

"Not just yet. Why won't you talk to me?" Charles sighed. He couldn't keep hiding from this. And he wouldn't let her either. Not anymore.

"I am talking to you," Charles scoffed, shaking his head.

"No, you're not. You're only giving me responses," (Y/N) looked beyond uncomfortable, shifting in her seat awkwardly.

"You really want to know why I'm not talking to you?" She looked up briefly, fire and fear in her eyes. Charles leant forwards, kindness glistening in his eyes. He was getting to her, slowly.

"Of course, I do," There was a pause, tension filling the space between them.

"Because I'm a disappointment. To you. I turned my back on the one person I loved more than life itself. If Warren wasn't here, I'd have probably killed myself by now," She didn't dare look at him. She couldn't. Charles features softened at her confession.

"(Y/N),  I-I could never be disappointed in you. You're my daughter. My little girl. no matter what you do, I'd never be disappointed. I was scared that I was going to lose you," The professor reached over and took her hand, sadness flooding into his blue orbs "Why won't you talk to me?"

"I won't let myself. I don't deserve your love and affection," A small crack in her voice seemed to tear his heart from his chest. How could she think that?

"What about Warren?" Charles inquired, though nothing in his voice was demanding, hurt or judgemental.

"Neither of us believes we deserve each other, so being together reassures us both. We're both a little broke," (Y/N) attempted to joke but it only made her sound more troubled by the second.

"You don't have to be. I want to be here for you (Y/N). If you'll let me," She pulled away. No. She was closing off again.

"I can't let you, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm a monster. I betrayed you. I joined Apocalypse and when you tried to reach out for me, I turned a blind eye," The room continued to grow colder with every moment that passed.

"You were lost and hurt. You did what anyone would've. You found a way to survive," He shot back, watching as the fire was extinguished due to the icy conditions.

"I could've found another way. You always told me that there's always another way," (Y/N) hissed, yanking her hands from him, fearful that the frost of her hands would hurt him. How hadn't she thought of that? She knew her dad would never admit if she was hurting him. She could've been hurting him this whole time and he'd never say a word. How could she be so stupid to let him hold her hand?

"And I've learnt in my time that that's not always true. Even so, sometimes it feels like we have no other option, especially if our minds are clouded. If we judged people by their darkest hour, we'd all be monsters. I mean, you've seen me in mine,"

'Who the fuck allowed him to be that wise at his age?' She thought before averting her eyes to the door. "But I hurt you."

"And I forgive you. Please, come over here," Charles signalled for her to come closer. With a truckload of reluctance, she slowly tiptoed around his desk, balancing on her knees so she wasn't towering over him, elbows placed on his legs. He rested a hand on her face, thumb running over her cold cheek. That's when the walls cracked and the dam burst. Salty tears made their way down her cheeks, her lip trembling. A  sob cracked from her throat as more tears streamed down, dripping from her nose an chin. Charles carefully wiped them away, resisting a sad smile when she leant into his touch. After a moment, and a lot of internal debating, (Y/N) clumsily clambered into his lap, wrapping her arms around him, face buried in his neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," She couldn't form any other words and Charles reciprocated the hug, running a hand through her hair to calm her. Like he used to when she was just a young child. He pressed a kiss to her temple.

"It's alright. You're safe now. I'll never ket anyone hurt you ever again.”

Those words alone made her know everything would be okay. Maybe not now. maybe not tomorrow. But eventually, everything would be as it should be.

 Tags: @writingfortoomanyfandoms @metaphorical-love-for-a-car@queens-n-roses @freaky-dcaky @yourealegendfred@fierce-bab@dusthas-beenbitten   @bensroger @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @babebenhardy@benhardyjones @silvver-rose  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #229

“goddamn, need some help, ‘cuz my girlfriend’s in love with someone else.”

What would you consider to be the worst television channel out there? Idk. I don't watch TV. Are you currently sitting on your bed or some other place? Where? I'm lying in my bed. Have you ever had anyone drop off animals at your house? What kind? No. When was the last time you were somewhere that offered free Wi-Fi? Today/technically yesterday but w/e. My school offers it free, but the connection isn't strong. Do you know anyone who is on drugs? Are you personally on them? I mean, I know people with prescriptions of course. If you mean illicit drugs, yes. I don't take them. Name one interesting fact about yourself that people might not know about? Uhhhh I used to be a dancer. Do you ever have to write down a phone number to remember it, or not? Oh yeah, I don't even have my own phone number memorized. Who was the last person you talked to on an instant messaging service? Hm. Oh, Facebook says the friend of my sister whose wedding I shot. I did it like, two or three or so years ago and she wanted to know if I had the raw photos I took, and I'd literally JUST cleaned out my OneDrive a couple days ago, so they were deleted. Talk about bad timing. What color are your curtains? Are you satisfied with this color? Maroon. Yeah. Does your phone have texting? How many times a day do you text, estimate? Yeah, and I don't have a clue. Sara and I generally text all throughout the day. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Uhhh over a year ago or something. Was the only time. It was just a bumblebee. Do you know anyone personally who had their house burn down before? Yes. Do you think the media can further manipulate our teenagers anymore? Ohhhh, I'm sure it could get even worse. Who would you consider to be your favorite American Idol on the show? I've watched so little of that show. Do you know anyone who has their septum pierced? Does it look painful? I know two, off the top of my head. And I mean, a piercing is a needle shoved into your skin. It's obviously painful to a degree. I'd imagine the septum to be more painful than a lot considering the thick cartilage. Has anyone ever complimented you on your singing? Did you believe them? Yeah, and I dunno. I don't generally like my singing voice, but I think I sing some songs okay. Do you know someone who constantly tries to embarrass you on all occasions? Omg no, I could never handle someone like that with how poorly I handle embarrassment. Has anyone ever kissed you in the rain? Did it seem romantic at the time? Yeah, and I guess, only really because it's an "accepted" thing as romantic. Something you're taught young. What is one part on your body that hurts at this moment, if anything? Nothing, at the moment. What was the last song you listened to? Did you enjoy this song? This metal medley I adore of Shadow of the Colossus pieces is on rn. What is your heritage? Do you have a bunch of mixed heritages? German, Irish, and Polish. When was the last time you listened to a genre of you music you despise? I didn't really *listen* to it, but some ass was blaring his rap music in FYS today. Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? NO, do NOT. That shit is noooot a joke. People have died. Do you ever countdown to anything? Not really, at least not seriously. Who was the last person to visit your house besides family? A friend of mine and Mom's, Randy. My rat Mitsu apparently fell or something, and her teeth were knocked crooked, and they became grossly overgrown and had to be clipped. He works at a wildlife rehab clinic and is overall just real experienced with animals. It was so awful though, seeing her like that. He's coming over about once a month now to keep them clipped; he's quite sure she has... damn, what was it? Metabolic bone disease (very common in rats), I think, that will push her teeth to keep growing. I can't remember exactly what he said, but. Are you allowed to watch rated R movies? I'm... nearing 24, lmao. How many bedrooms are in your house? Two. Do you see more of your mom or dad’s side of the family more? Mom's. I see both very rarely since they live states away, but yeah, Mom's. I haven't seen anyone in Dad's fam since I was a little kid. Are there any tattoos that you really want to get? lol got a few hours to talk? Do you really believe that everyone has a soul mate? Definitely not. You are compatible with sooooo many people. Do alligators scare you? I mean I wouldn't walk in front of one or anything, but as animals themselves, no. I think they're cool as fuck. Dinosaurs, man. Do you have abs? *ugly wheezing laughter* Have you ever been in detention? Twice I think, but only for too many tardies arriving at school. Do you believe in vampires? Uh no. Can you play the guitar? Not anymore. Have you ever kissed someone while they were dating someone else? Wow, no. Do you like hot dogs? Sadly. Are glasses a turn on or turn off for you? I don't care. Do you have a hot tub? Darling we poor. Would you ever try one of those dating websites? I like to pretend that one time NEVER fucking happened. I very much doubt I would again. Do you like to be tickled? Ew no don't. When’s the last time you flew a kite? Not since I was little. Do you ever take a bath and eat food at the same time? ... Does anyone do that?? Do you hate long surveys? No, I prefer them. I just do them over time. Gives me something to do... and I also don't spam where I share them. Do you like the taste of blood? UM no. Has anyone ever given you flowers? Yeah. When was the last time you swam in a lake? Wowie, I couldn't possibly guess. Who was the first friend you made in Junior High? That's a good question. Maybe Hannia? If you could learn any language, what would it be? GERMAN. I wanna be fluent. When was the last time someone asked you your age? Uhhh idk. Have you ever been on a train? No. Has anyone ever tried to physically fight you? No, but one girl literally told me she almost punched me. I used to hate her more than anyone in the world because she's Jason's ex and really hurt him, and yet now we're friends, lmao. Oh, how things can change. When was the last time you were angry? Last night because my headache wouldn't fuck off. What’s your worst subject in school? Math. I'm failing like, badly. What’s your favorite genre of music? Metal. Have you ever been called too skinny? OH MOST DEFINITELY NOT. Do you prefer analog or digital clocks? Analog clocks are way more aesthetically pleasing, but digital are more convenient. Do you have any stickers decorating your computer? Bruh I have tape, get on my fckng level. Tell me about the last nightmare you remember having. It was about seeing my grandma, who's really beginning to suffer from her chemo. What snacks do you usually get at the cinemas? Popcorn and a drink, then rarely a candy. Usually Sour Patch Kids. What scent is the deodorant you use? That's. A good question. I haven't payed attention. What did you last receive in the mail? The book Sara sent me. What is your favorite kind of fruit? Strawberries. How far away do you live from your place of birth? Like... 10-ish minutes? Have you ever been in a police car? Only when being transferred from the ER to psyche hospitals. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I draw a line through them. Or circle them. Depends on the font and size, really. Have you ever sewn something? Idk how to sew. Name a CD you have or one you would like to have. Ha ha, the very first CD I personally bought was the "You're Awful, I Love You" album by Ludo. When I knew like, only three songs, ahaha. Have you ever watched an episode of Barney? I loved him as a kid, so, y'know. Can you name more than five U.S. presidents? Yeah, but I definitely don't know a lot. Are any of your neighbors’ yards in desperate need of a grass cutting? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yessir. What does your mother’s wallet look like? What about your dad’s? Idk. I don't pay attention to Mom's and I very rarely see Dad. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom and one of my school advisors. And people who walked into the library. Do you think your last ex will eventually want to be with you again? He may still want to be, idk. It doesn't matter though. Does your ex hate you? The only ex I have that I think might is Jason. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to? Girt. Does anyone call you babe? Sara sometimes. Is your school’s mascot an animal? Yes. All my schools' were, lol. What would happen if you were stuck in an elevator with the person you’ve fallen the hardest for? I don't want to imagine it. Do you think that hair extensions and colored contacts make a person fake? Oh my god. Where do your hands go during kissing? I mean that. Depends. Generally just around a person's sides. Conservative or liberal? I'm such a mix. Do you have unlimited texting? Ye. Were you ever in the spelling bee? Never been a part of one. Do you dress suggestively? No. A very explicit song you’ve listened to recently? Ahaha, "Love Rhymes With Fuck You" by Jeffree Star is on right now and it is. Intense. When did you last see someone you know in public? Errrrr good question. Do you think you’d survive if zombies took over the world? Hell no. If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? The meerkat RP I've done since I was 10. My friends and I have made novels upon novels worth of stories. Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? No. Are you an impatient person? YEP!!!!!!!!! Are you afraid to watch movies that have sex scenes with your friends? Friends, no. It's awkward with family, though. Who sings the last song you listened to? Jeffree Star. Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? No, other than being a blind mfkr. Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes. Don't have one as I don't really care for it. Do you have sensitive teeth? Yes. Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? Nah. And I mean at the dentist they numb you, so not really. When did you last talk seriously with one of your parents? I have no clue. Does anyone ever say they miss you often? Sara. I mean we talk all the time, but she means like, physically being there. Would you rather become a wizard or a vampire, if you had the choice? Idk. I like vampires more, but a wizard sounds funner. Have you already moved out of your parents’ house? I've talked about the apartment situation enough. Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Divorced. Have you ever thought you might just have obsessive compulsive disorder? I'm diagnosed with it. Do you think it’s rude to text someone else while on a date? YEAH. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? White Chicks never fails to get me. Has one of your websites ever quit operating or shut down? Were you sad? Recently the site I used to upload large .gifs I needed to use online shut down & I'm still mega tilted. There's probably others. Who is the person you talk to the most in your house? I only live with my mom. Is there a television show out there that you never miss? No. What movie have you seen too many times to be healthy? Ha ha, The Lion King I & 2 and Finding Nemo. What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Take care of my pets. How cold did it get where you live, last winter? Idr. Very, for NC anyway. Do you ever wonder what your exes are doing? I only ever wonder about Jason. Have you ever been caught in a huge lie with your parents? Never told a biggie lie to 'em. Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? No. Are you sober at the time being? Yeah. Have you ever lied to someone & said they could sing when they couldn’t? Possibly? Are you more tolerant of hot or cold weather? Describe a time when you were extremely cold? Describe a time when you were extremely over-heated? I handle the cold far, FAR better. I physically cannot last very long in like, even 80 degrees. The coldest I've probably ever been was when Sara and I were walking once up at her house and it was really windy. I think the absolute most over-heated I've been was when I was taking bridal shots of my sister's friend outside in the summer for a long long time. I was nearly to the point of tears and was absolutely soaked in sweat. When we got back in the car, I literally finished at least three water bottles in a very short period of time. I think I even downed half of another. What was something weird that you did as a child? Did anyone make fun of you for it? Were there any other children you knew who did the same thing? I actually created this trend in elementary school of digging tunnels in the sandbox with my hands because I wanted to feel like a meerkat, lol. No one made fun of me, I think? And as stated it kinda became a thing, so yeah, there were others. What has been the hardest thing about growing up? What was the easiest thing about it? Was there ever a time when you wanted to stay young forever? Was there ever a time when you wished that you could be older? Accepting my mental illnesses was by far the hardest. Easiest, uh... idk. Enjoying more freedom? There was definitely a time I wanted to be a kid forever; I remember I criiiied when I got my period for the first time because I didn't feel like one anymore. Simultaneously, there were certainly times I wanted to be older. Who was the last person you yelled at? Do you often yell at this person? Are you on good terms with them again, or are you still upset with them? I practically roared at Mom for pulling the rudest shit on me like a month or so back. I definitely don't yell at her a lot. We're on good terms now, yeah. If you work, do you get along with your coworkers? Which one of them have you known the longest? Is your current place of work somewhere that you plan to stay for a long time? Sadly no, so these questions are N/A. Name three items that have much sentimental value to you. Who gave you these items, and for what occasion? Do you ever have a harder time throwing away things that people have given you? My pebble from Holly Hill, my childhood plush moose Brownie that I got in Ohio, and the stuffed meerkat Jason gave me. It's not really because of it being from him, but rather because it comforted me deeply after the break-up. The little guy is so worn from all the love I gave it. I do have a hard time getting rid of things people give me. Who do you speak with more often: your online friends, or those that you see face-to-face? Of which type of friend do you have more? Which of those friendships do you value the most? Online to all three questions. Are you often misunderstood, or do you think that people can get where you are coming from pretty well? Do you think that you have a good ability to understand others? If yes, explain? Eh, idk, really. I feel like I don't communicate how I feel well enough, but I think people understand me decently. Most, anyway. I know I'm pretty good and relating to people. When was the last time that you had a headache? What did you do, if anything, to help it feel better? Which is worse for you: headaches or stomach aches? As previously mentioned, last night. I took medicine, but it was sleep that actually helped. AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH STOMACH ACHES. Gimme a headache over that shit any day. Have you ever had a crush on someone you met online? If yes, what happened between you and that person? Do you think that online relationships are legitimate relationships? Yes, and we're dating now lol. And of course I do!! Out of all of your past friendships and romantic relationships, which one was the worst? If that person were to show up at your place, would you be willing to talk to them? Friendship: Colleen. No, I wouldn't talk to her. Romantic: Tyler, but I mean sure, I'd talk to him. Well, Jason was the traumatic one, but the *relationship*, on my end, was a fairytale. It was the breakup that was... yeah, y'all know. Yeah, I'd be willing to talk to him, but quite honestly I'd probably end up collapsing into a sobbing heap because yeah PTSD. If any, how many friends have you made in the past year? How many have you lost? Is making friends something at which you are good, or does it take you awhile to form friendships? I've made a couple friends online, and I lost none, I think anyway. I can be someone's friend very easily, but it's the trust that really takes a while. If you are 18 or older, did reaching your 18th birthday make you feel like you were an adult? If not, what moment (or moments) made you feel like you were finally maturing? I don't remember, honestly. As a kid, did your parents force you to eat everything on your plate? If you had them, how did you feel about family meal times? If you were to have children, would you have structured meals with them? Well, Mom tried, but my picky ass usually won, lol. Some days I miss family dinners, other days I'm glad to do my own thing. If I were to have kids, I'd probably want to have family dinners, really. What was the last new thing that you tried? What is something you did a long time ago that you might like to do again? I don't know. I don't try new things often. From my past... I dunno. It's too late to think of all this stuff. What is your least favorite part about going to the doctor? What about going to the dentist? Which of those people would you rather see? THE GODDAMN WAIT. My dentist is usually pretty quick, so that's not typically a problem there. Instead, I fucking hate when I have to get x-rays done because I have a very small mouth, and the things they stick in your cheeks to bite down on are always way too big for me. I have to use a size down from adults. Do you ever take care of anyone younger than you (ie. babysitting, watching a younger sibling, etc)? Do you like doing this, or does it get to be a hassle? No, and hell no.

[suepixels]

Get to Know Me

Make a simself and add traits if you like but you don’t need to! “Me with my most important men Nero Valcari on the right and Levithian Cavallo on the left - Pixelthirst is real, you guys!” The peeps I met here who encouraged me to start my story? Yeah, I’m freakin’ grateful! Thank youu..! Aspiration: Soulmate + Bonus trait “Romantic” Traits: Creative, Active, Cheerful

I was tagged by the wonderful lady @cillaben and @awolzai is the one who created this tag. So if you wanna read all that shizzle about me. Go ahead and read, I’m not gonna stop you - Oh Gosh! Thanks a bunch, sweet Cilla, you are just wonderful the way you are to me and also for being a fab friend, I 💛  you , obviously you not gonna be tagged for this! Hehe - just messing around... 😉

I’m tagging following simmers because welp I don’t know much about them but I truly 💛 their blog and their stories and personality and would 💛  to know them better. @beverlyallitsims  @josiesimblr @tigerellasims , @tangandzing   @keysims , @skellysim @shysimblr , @weicyn, @glovely1simmer, @ktosiksims @fabflubs , @cayrees , @shespeakssimlish

Guys you don’t need to do this but it would be dope! There are loads of questions here. So you don’t have to answer all of them if you don’t feel like it. Even if I didn’t tag you feel free to do it - it’s fun!

WARNING: Answers to 125 questions are under the cut.

What is your name? Suzana

What is your nickname? Sue

🎂? May 11th

What is your favorite 📓 series?  Um, the last I read as a series was “The Lord of the rings” (A throwback to childhood, damm I was 13 when I read it the first time, hehe) I rather read single books 📚, seldom series

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Ghosts? Dunno I’m not sure, never met one but don’t want either if they exist! LOL. Aliens? Wait a billion of galaxies with trillion of stars and I should believe that we are the only living creatures in the universe? Naah we are not alone - E.T. is out there. Does it answer your question? LOL

Who is your favorite author? Ugh... The ones I can think of right now? goshI have a bunch... um... Robert Greene, Marion Zimmer Bradley (all Avalon books) Patrice Leovold who’s book taught me that Eleanor of Aquitaine used to be a strong woman and queen of two countries in Europe! I love history stuff so I read a bunch of German authors who write historical novels.

What is your favorite radio station? If I listen to any it would be JAM FM from Berlin (Hip-Hop, RnB, Soul etc) Haven’t heard it in years... but Youtube is my main source for music, hehe

What is your favorite flavor of anything? If it’s not spicy go home and try it again, okay? It has to be spicy... yeah I’m used to it. A day without my Latte Macchiato is a no-no! (80% creamy milk with 1 cup of espresso, only the real deal for me, capeesh? Hehe! 

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Dope!

What is your current favorite song? 💛 Stuck in my head this one arrrgh gosh: Blindness by Justin Timberlake

What is your favorite word? Welp? LOL 😆

What was the last song you listened to? I will wait for you by Nicky Parrott

What 📺 show would you recommend for everybody to watch? The Originals, Vampire Diaries (isn’t it obvious?) Lucifer (love the sarcasm) The Good Doctor, This is Us and heck, yeah Game of Thrones agree with @cillaben

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Any good sci-fi, fantasy movie “Just let me escape this world for a second or two”

Do you play video games? Yup, as an addict I play only Sims 4, 3 & 2 😲

What is your biggest fear? To die, too early before I could do all the things I desire to do.

What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’ve been told be caring, dunno!

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I can be stubborn but hey someone told me I’m just persistent in all the things I do, you know... 😁

Do you like cats or dogs better? I used to love cats more but since my sis has a Malinois. I love both.. Guys, Stella is the best craziest dog I’ve seen!

What is your favorite season? Summer

Are you in a relationship? Neep, bloody single...welp =D

What is something you miss from your childhood?  My love for ballet? I did yesterday the first time after 15 yrs some exercises on a bar at the gym and the belief that anything is possible - still hoping!

Who is your best friend? Currently, run out of “best friends” shizzle

What is your eye color? Green-yellowish - yup like a cat  😁

What is your hair color? By nature? Ash blonde but I love brown!

Who is someone you 💛? My sister and my nephews

Who is someone you trust? Only my big sis

Who is someone you think about often? My ex, who I still love. I know I should drop it but when your heart says something else and your mind reminds you NOPE - Game over! Dang, it! Can someone press the restart button for me, please? LOL Naaah, don’t worry I’m fine but you know sometimes you think too much about could have, would have blah, blah...

Are you currently 🙌 about/for something? I’m 🙌 about to go to bed!

What is your biggest obsession? Fitness (again), Dancing, being creative, TV series, Cooking, Web surfing, Gaming, Traveling geez I can’t name them all I have many obsessions. LOL 

What was your favorite 📺 show as a 👶? As a child, I wasn’t allowed to watch TV but what I remember is that I liked “Once Upon a Time... Life” a European/Asien cartoon about how the human's body system works (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY11Hu_ju5M&list=PLtAciEfQHAwvs1hIkWN_YNpD8E4sno--C)

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Nobody. I’m too open-minded and a bunch of peeps are simply sick in their head and interpret shizzle just because I say “Live your life your way - it’s not my business” So I keep it private.

Are you superstitious? Nope, not that I’m aware of =D

Do you have any unusual phobias? Darkness, if the light goes suddenly off and I see nothing? Yeah, it creeps the heck out of me. A childhood trauma - my mother did scare to death!

Do you prefer to be in front of the door or behind it? In front!

What is your favorite hobby? Fitness, surfing, 👀 movies and playing sims of course.

What was the last 📓 you read? The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

What was the last movie you 👀? The new Fantastic Beasts movie

What musical instruments do you play, if any? None =( wish to play piano, tho - need to check Google Play for an app - LOL

What is your favorite animal?  Birds

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?  I have quite a bunch I check daily like a stalker - all wonderful human beings =) 

What superpower do you wish you had? The ability to be immortal

When and where do you feel most at ✌️? Sweet Home

What makes you 😁? Sarcastic Humor, it goes deep under your skin

What sports do you play, if any? Naah, I do Functional Fitness and soon Breakletics but I don’t play sports.

What is your favorite drink?  Latte Macchiato and Raspberry Mojito

When was the last time you wrote a ✋-written letter or note to somebody? A goodbye letter to my ex-boyfriend when I canceled to continue to be just friends with him. Well because of the feels I still have him...even after 5 yrs...still unforgotten!

Are you 😨 of heights? Depends...

What is your biggest pet peeve? Fake people, superficial characters

Have you ever been to a concert? Yes, quite a lot...

Are you vegan/vegetarian? Never ever - I need meat!

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A ballet dancer or an artist in general.

 What fictional place would you like to live in? Atlantis - Undersea Waterworld

What is something you worry about? Yes, I worry all the time

Are you 😨 of the dark? Depends, if there is no light, yes!

Do you like to sing? Yes!

Have you ever skipped school? Never. I was a proud nerd!

What is your favorite place on the 🌍? Home

Where would you like to live? Atlanta, USA or UK - London

Do you have any pets? Neep, not allowed by the landlord

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night Owl

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrise - A new day to start fresh!

Do you know how to drive? I know, but I don’t have a license - hihi

Do you prefer earbuds or 🎧? Earbuds

Have you ever had braces? Neep, lucky me

What is your favorite genre of 🎶? RnB, Soul, Hip Hop, “German Hip Hop”, Classic, Jazz, Blues, Bossa Nova, Dancehall, Reggaeton, Twerk - actually all kind of genres, always depends on the song! 🎶

Who is your hero? Hero? Ugh... Dunno to be honest...

Do you read comic 📚? I used to, not anymore

What makes you the most 😠? Rudeness, Racism in general, Lies, and Betrayal

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real 📓? I need a real book, okay? As much as I ’m a lover of newest technologies but some stuff are simply gold when it’s the “real deal”.

What was your favorite subject in school? Languages ( I speak 3 fluid English, German, Serbian somewhat a little French), Informatics, Art, Music, and History

Do you have any siblings? A sister and a brother

What was the last thing you bought? Meat

How tall are you? 5′3 or about 164 cms

Can you cook? Yeees, herbs? Spices? Experimenting? All that jazz, yes

What are three things that you 💛? My sis, Fitness and writing my story here.

What are three things that you hate? Racists, Betrayal and when people lie about their feelings.

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Male, most women never liked me... dunno... why! 

What is your sexual orientation? Straight

Where do you currently live? Germany

Who was the last person you texted? My sister

When was the last time you 😢? On 3rd of Nov. because I saw my brother - we don’t talk

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Xurbansimsx (Sims) that’s it!

Do you like to take selfies? Neep, not currently... I gained too much... due to my illness but working it off now that I’m feeling better.

What is your favorite app? Tumblr and Pinterest

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?  My dad passed away. Broken, dramatic family war! No, contact with my brother because of my mother this binch. My sister is my everything  💛 💛 💛

What is your favorite foreign accent? French and when American speak German, aaah I love it!.

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? New York, South Africa, New Zeeland and Australia

What is your favorite number? 5

Can you juggle? Naaah

Are you religious? Nope

Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Both

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Sometimes, a little naughty, hehe

Are you allergic to anything? Cat hair :(

Can you curl your tongue? Yips

Can you wiggle your ears? Nooope

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? When I’m wrong I do apologize but it happens seldom

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach, babe!

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Who has told you that life is fair?

Are you a good liar? I guess I can be if I have to!

What is your Hogwarts 🏠? Hufflepuff

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah, I do so what? I just maintain a relationship with myself, okay  😂 Call me crazy, I don’t care..hehe 😜

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? extrovert

Do you keep a journal/diary? I used to but stopped, have 5 books

Do you believe in second chances? Yes

If you found a wallet full of 💰 on the ground, what would you do? Tbh? Currently, I would keep it.

Do you believe that people are capable of change? Difficult, it depends on the character. 

Are you ticklish? Some secrets areas - yeas!

Have you ever been on a ✈️? Heck yeah, quite a lot - I’m a “Fernweh” Girl and a traveler!

Do you have any piercings? Ears, Belly and I used to have my nose pierced, too but business sucks so I had to take it out! LOL

What fictional character do you wish was real? Mr. Darcy from ‘Pride and Prejudice’

Do you have any tattoos? Yes, one on my back and I want more!

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Running away from home, living my own life and not allowing anyone to tell me how I should live my life - I have one life to live, so my rules apply!

Do you believe in karma? Yes

Do you wear glasses or contacts? Contacts during daytime at night glasses

Do you want children? Yes, at least one - hopefully!

Who is the smartest person you know? My ex-boyfriend

What is your most embarrassing memory? When a friend of mine showed via an accident how fake she truly was. She lost her fake hair and her nails got broken and all this in public on a dancefloor in front of my friends. (We were teens, LOL)

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Almost but not really so, naah

What color are most of your clothes? Black, mint, turquoise and darker versions of green, blue, brown and red.

Do you like adventures? Depends on adventure

Have you ever been on 📺? Almost as a TV-host for a German music channel! Had a casting back in my teenhood! 

How old are you? 35+ I look younger than I really am and I don’t feel like it. Nope, not gonna say it publicly. I would feel instantly older.. LOL but I tell in private!

What is your favorite movie quote? “He is your first love. I intend to be your last” - The Originals by Klaus Mikelson

Sweet or savory? Sweet

Yeah, you may notice I like to add videos =) that’s the song which spins around in my head currently... Love the beat!

[stopforamoment]

Part Four: Dreckskerl (Series 18, Part 4 of 9)

Series Eighteen: The Conference, Day One (9 Parts) Part Four: Dreckskerl (Series 18, Part 4 of 9) My masterlist is at the end of my bio.

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three) Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,042 Rating: M for Language Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh. Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3 for always being my sounding board! Thank you @cora-nova @silviasutton1989 @bobasheebaby​ @riseandshinelittleblossom​ for being my thirsty Bastien friends and for still being a part of the journey! Series Summary: This focuses on day one of the conference and Rinda’s interactions as a professional, friend, and girlfriend.

Chapter Summary: Rinda presents at the conference and later her temper gets the best of her when she’s disrespected by male colleagues. Author’s note—I don’t speak French so I used Google Translate. If there are glaring errors, please let me know and thank you!

Dreckskerl

Bastien stayed for part of Rinda’s panel presentation before attending a presentation geared for security personnel. When the moderator introduced the panel members, each person was introduced with their academic titles and positions, except for one person. Bastien saw Rinda’s brows furrow and watched how she scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it over to the man. When the paper slid back she widened her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. The moderator was about to begin the discussions when Rinda politely interrupted. “Excuse me, but one of my colleagues needs further introductions. Kyrie Tagmatarcha Callas Mr. Major Callas served in the Greek military for over 20 years. We are very fortunate that he is here today to share his expertise and perspective with us.” She turned to Major Callas. “Thank you, sir. And thank you for your service.” Bastien gave an appreciative nod as Rinda turned her head and calmly held eye contact with the shocked moderator until he averted his gaze. His Tria was a team player, and no one disrespected another member of her team. Rinda’s presentation went well and she began making new friends (she hated the term “networking”), but she stayed in groups with other teachers and administrators. It wasn’t until the lunch break that she had a chance to even see any of the security staff who were also attending the conference. She searched for Bastien and Drake in the room and she was able to make eye contact with Bastien. He seemed to be having a good time, talking with Drake and another security officer. But still. The dynamic in the room wasn’t good. Rinda was wearing a suit because she presented, but she planned on wearing professional clothes the second day also, like many of the other teachers and administrative staff. There were some security officers who were wearing a suit, but some panels included self-defense drills, so most were wearing the appropriate clothing. Even if Rinda wanted to participate in one of their sessions, she wasn’t dressed for it. Throughout lunch the security staff stayed in their own groups and the teachers stayed in their own groups. It made sense because people often continued their conversations from the panels they attended, but the divide between them was clear. Rinda grabbed her brains and began jotting notes in the book for ways to fix this as she continued to help with Cordonia’s security program—and host Cordonia’s own conference. Then she whispered something to Nadia, and the ladies grabbed their plates and drinks and went over to a table with empty seats to introduce themselves to some of the security officers. Unfortunately the goodwill gesture didn’t go as planned. One of the men assumed the ladies weren’t interested in having a professional conversation during lunch, and his friends quickly lowered themselves to his level. Rinda stood up in fury and addressed the ringleader. “Μη γίνεσαι μαλάκας”  Don’t be an asshole. “We were just trying to break up the obvious divide between the teachers and security officers, not come on to you.” At the same time Nadia was rolling her eyes in disgust. “Putain de bordel de merde! C’est vraiment un trou de cul, celui-là!” Jesus Fucking Christ. That guy’s a real asshole.

Rinda raised her voice and spoke to Nadia, although she held her gaze with the men, her words obviously directed at them. “Ah, ma cocotte. Ce n'est pas de ta faute. Vous devez avoir vos règles. Hey honey. It's not your fault. You must have your period.

She turned to Nadia. “Je suis tellement ennuyé avec ça. Allons-y.” I’m so fucking bored with this shit. Let’s go.

Rinda threw in a scathing German phrase for good measure. “Was für Dreckskerl.” What a filthy pig. What a bastard.

Slowly the lunch room grew quiet as people realized an altercation was taking place. Bastien and Drake stood up to walk over to Rinda, but Tagmatarcha Callas was closer. “Ladies, may I be of assistance?” He drew back in surprise when he saw the golden topaz fury in Rinda’s eyes, but she gave him a genuine smile. “No Tagmatarcha Callas, but thank you for offering. My friend and I meant to get more of the security officers and teachers to interact, instead of sitting on opposite sides of the room, but it didn’t go as well as we planned.” She rolled her eyes and shrugged before turning to Nadia. “I think we should just sit back on our side of the room before I make things worse.”

Callas looked around the room as they walked away. Rinda was right. There was an obvious divide and based on his interaction with her during the panel presentation, he knew she had a genuine interest in bridging that divide. “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.” It was the voice he used in the field when he needed to issue commands or rally his troops. “I would like to invite any teachers to join me and my friends at my table so we can share ideas about security issues in our schools.” Rinda and Nadia were almost to their table when they turned around in surprise. They nodded at each other and walked back to Callas. Rinda looked over at Bastien and Drake, a plea in her eyes, and Bastien smiled as he stood up.

“Would anyone on the other side of the room like to switch seats with me so we can meet more people and exchange ideas?” Rinda gave Bastien a grateful smile. She knew he hated initiating introductions and making small talk, so she knew how much this gesture meant.

She purposely stepped over to Bastien and Drake as they crossed the room. “Thank you, Drake” she whispered.

“Heh, it’s okay.”

“And thank you, Tiger.”

Their hands were full as they carried their plates and drinks, but Bastien leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “You’re welcome, Tria.” He snickered. “You told me that you learned conversational French from Grandma Lorinda. Did she teach you all of that?” Rinda grinned and shook her head as she continued to walk toward Callas’ table with Nadia.

Slowly some of the people in the room switched seats, and Rinda smiled at Nadia and Callas. It was a start.