#if anyone is even vaguely interested lemme know!

[pucksandpower]

Party Girl

Happy Nation: A Series of Standalone Fics

Logan Sargeant x Hunt!Reader

Summary: Logan tries to save a notorious party girl from herself (or in which going wild runs in the Hunt family)

Warnings: illicit substances and peer-pressure

The nightclub’s bass thumps through Logan’s chest as the trio approaches the entrance. Lando and Oscar turn to him with matching grins.

“You ready for this, mate?” Lando asks.

Logan eyes the mass of people spilling out onto the sidewalk. “Is this really a good idea?”

“Of course!” Oscar claps him on the shoulder. “It’s gonna be brilliant. Especially with you keeping an eye on the hostess.”

“Me?” Logan’s brow furrows.

Lando nods. “You’re our designated driver tonight, so you’ll be the soberest one here. We need you to keep Y/N from going too far off the rails.”

“Why me though? I barely know her.”

“Exactly!” Oscar exclaims. “She doesn’t really know you either, so she’ll actually listen instead of brushing you off like she does with the rest of us.”

Logan frowns. “I don’t know, guys ...”

“Oh, come on!” Lando wheedles. “You’ve heard the stories about James Hunt. Partying is in her DNA. We just need to make sure she doesn’t take after her grandad too much tonight.”

With a sigh, Logan relents. “Alright, fine. I’ll do my best to keep her out of trouble.”

The two grin and clap him on the back before leading the way inside. The throbbing music and flashing lights assault Logan’s senses as they enter. He scans the crowd, quickly spotting a vaguely familiar mane of untamed waves.

You’re laughing uproariously at something one of your friends said, drink sloshing precariously in your hand. Your cheeks are already flushed, eyes bright with intoxication and mirth. A pang of concern flutters in Logan’s chest — Lando and Oscar weren’t kidding about keeping an eye on you.

Making his way through the press of bodies, Logan sidles up next to you. You glance over with a brilliant smile.

“Heyyy, you made it!”

“Yeah, uh, hi,” Logan replies, suddenly feeling awkward. “Your friends invited me to, you know, keep things under control.”

You giggle. “Under control? What fun is that?”

Taking a swig of your drink, you spin away to dance with your friends, moving your hips enticingly. Logan swallows hard, trying not to stare. This is going to be harder than he thought.

The evening blurs by in a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds. Wherever you go, Logan follows at a respectful distance. He rebuffs anyone trying to offer you illicit substances and intervenes whenever your friends get too rowdy.

A few times you shoot him annoyed glares, but he just shrugs apologetically. He’s only doing what Lando and Oscar asked. Besides, he reasons, better to have you mad at him than in real danger.

As the hour grows later, your movements become more uncoordinated, laughter louder and words more slurred. Logan hovers closer, concern mounting.

“Ohhh, Logannnnn,” you croon, draping yourself over him. “You’re sooo stuffy. Live a little!”

He gently extracts himself from your embrace. “I think you’ve lived enough for tonight, Y/N.”

Pouting, you turn away petulantly. Logan watches as a few of your more unscrupulous friends surround you with sly grins. Alarm spikes through him when he sees one of them press something into your palm.

“Hey!” Pushing forward, he places himself between you and them. “Back off. She’s not interested.”

You blink at him owlishly while your friends sneer.

“Who’re you to decide for her, pretty boy?”

“Someone who actually cares if she’s okay.” Logan holds his ground.

With a drunken giggle, you lean against his back. “S’ok, Logieee. Lemme have some fun!”

“No, Y/N.” He spins to face you, gripping your shoulders firmly. “That stuff is bad news. You don’t want it, trust me.”

Your eyes are glazed, but you search his face like you’re trying to understand. One of your friends makes another attempt to press the little baggie into your hand. Without thinking, Logan bats it away. It goes flying across the club, spilling white powder everywhere.

“Dude!” Your friend shouts, outraged.

Logan doesn’t give them a chance to react further. Scooping you up in his arms, he starts carrying you away from the crowd. You’re tiny and warm against his chest, still giggling faintly.

“Mmm, Logan ... gonna getcha in trouble ...”

“I’ll take my chances,” he mutters.

Pushing his way through the throngs of people, Logan finally breaks free into the cool night air. He sets you on your feet, but keeps a steadying hand on your waist when you sway unsteadily.

Up close like this, he can make out the flushed skin across your nose, the flecks of light reflecting in your warm eyes. For a moment you just gaze at each other, the sounds of the party muffled behind the club’s doors.

Then your brow furrows. “Why’d ya stop me? I was jus’ havin’ fun.”

Logan shakes his head slowly. “That kind of fun isn’t good for you, Y/N. Your friends, they ... they weren’t looking out for your best interests back there.”

“You don’ even know me!” You protest, pushing away from him on unsteady feet.

Without thinking, Logan catches your hands in his. They’re so tiny, delicate, yet topped with nails sharp enough to take an eye out. Just like the rest of you — an enigmatic mix of fragile beauty and uncompromising tenacity.

“You’re right, I don’t really know you,” he admits. “But I know that you’re strong. Braver and tougher than anyone gives you credit for. And you don’t need that junk to be the life of the party.”

For a long moment, you simply stare at him, eyes wide. Then, slowly, you nod. A few stray tendrils of hair fall across your face and Logan’s fingers itch to brush them back. He tamps down the urge.

“M’sorry I made a scene back there,” you mumble, averting your gaze.

“Hey.” Logan ducks his head to catch your eye again. “Don’t be sorry. Those people, they ...” He shakes his head in disgust. “You deserve better friends than that.”

Pink dusts your cheeks as the corners of your mouth tick upwards. “You’re sweet, Logan. A real gentleman.”

“I just call it like I see it,” he replies with a shrug.

You laugh softly then, a warm, rich sound that sends tingles down Logan’s spine. When you speak again, your voice is clearer, more sober.

“I guess tonight got a little out of hand. Sometimes I go too far trying to live up to the reputation of my last name. It’s stupid, I know.”

“Hey, we all have things we’re trying to prove.” Logan squeezes your hands reassuringly. “But you don’t have to prove anything to me, Y/N. I can already see how amazing you are.”

For a beat, you simply stare at him, eyes shining. Then, surging up on your tiptoes, you throw your arms around his neck and kiss him hard.

Logan freezes for half a second before melting into the embrace, pulling you flush against him. His fingers tangle in your hair as he kisses you back with everything he has.

When you finally break apart, breathless and flushed, Logan rests his forehead against yours.

“Wow,” is all he can think to say.

You grin impishly up at him. “Now there’s a party I wouldn’t mind getting carried away at.”

Logan can’t help but laugh. Tucking you into his side, he presses a kiss to your temple. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

***

Logan jolts awake to the sound of insistent pounding on his hotel room door. Squinting against the bright sunlight filtering through the curtains, he rubs the sleep from his eyes and shuffles to answer it.

“About damn time!” Lando’s voice greets him as soon as the door opens. “Do you know how long we’ve been stuck outside?”

Oscar shoulders past Logan into the room. “Yeah, mate. Abandoning your friends at the club? Not cool.”

Logan’s brow furrows in confusion until the previous night’s events come trickling back. The party, the near miss with the drugs, getting you safely away ...

His gaze drifts to the rumpled bed across the room where you’re just starting to stir, sheets tangled around your legs. A soft smile tugs at Logan’s lips as he watches you blink owlishly.

“Earth to Logan?” Lando waves a hand in front of his face. “You still with us?”

“What? Yeah, sorry.” Logan drags his attention back to the two drivers. “Look, I can explain about last night ...”

“No need to explain why you ditched us,” Oscar interjects with a suggestive wink toward the bed. “We can figure that part out for ourselves.”

You sit upright then, the sheets pooling around your waist as you rub your eyes. “Whas’ goin’ on?”

“Well, well!” Lando exclaims with a salacious grin. “If it isn’t the life of the party herself! Get up to any ... extracurriculars last night?”

Heat creeps up the back of Logan’s neck as you glance between the three of them in sleepy bewilderment. A strangled laugh escapes Oscar’s lips as the realization hits both of them. You and Logan lock eyes from across the room, equally mortified.

“No, wait! It’s not what it looks like!” Logan splutters.

Lando claps a hand on his shoulder with a pitying look. “It’s alright, mate. You don’t have to be ashamed about finally getting some action.”

“But I didn’t!” Logan insists, running a flustered hand through his hair. “Y/N, tell them!”

Untangling yourself from the sheets, you slide off the bed — giving everyone an eyeful of the fact that you’re only wearing one of Logan’s hoodies. His breath catches in his throat because damn if you don’t look incredible drowning in his clothes.

Your bare feet pad across the carpet until you’re standing before him, fingers playing with the worn cotton hem. “He’s right, you two. We didn’t ... you know.”

Hurt flashes across Logan’s face before he can squelch it back down. Right, of course you wouldn’t want that after all the lines he crossed last night. You’d been drunk and vulnerable and now you were regretting everything, including the–

“We kissed! But it doesn’t have to mean anything,” he blurts out, not meeting anyone’s eyes. “I got Y/N out of a bad situation and we may have, uh, gotten a little carried away in the heat of the moment. But she was drunk and it won’t happen again, I swear.”

An awkward silence falls over the room, broken only by Lando’s snort of laughter. “No rizz, this one.”

Logan’s jaw clenches. He knew they’d tease him about it, but he’s a grown man and he doesn’t need to take it from the likes of–

“Logan.”

Your voice is soft but it cuts through the embarrassment swirling in his mind. You take his face gently in your hands and he’s helpless but to meet your warm gaze.

“What if I want it to mean something?”

The air whooshes out of him in a surprised breath. His hands find your waist of their own accord like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “Y-You do?”

Behind you, Oscar groans. “God, he’s so hopeless.”

“I think it’s sweet!” Lando retorts. “Innocent, you know? Like a puppy getting all flustered.”

Logan blocks them out, his whole world narrowing to the amused, almost fond smile playing across your lips. You nod, leaning further into his embrace.

“I meant what I said last night, Logan. You’re the sweetest, most caring guy I’ve ever met. And I like you.” Your nose wrinkles adorably. “A lot, actually.”

He blinks rapidly, certain his heart is about to burst out of his chest. “Y/N, I ... I like you too. So much.”

Laughing that rich, warm laugh of yours, you loop your arms around his neck and rise up on your tiptoes. Logan meets you halfway, melting into the heated press of your lips against his.

Catcalls and wolf-whistles finally penetrate the happy bubble enveloping you both. You break the kiss with a breathless giggle, burrowing your face into the crook of Logan’s neck.

“Oi, lovebirds!” Oscar hollers. “Get a room!”

“Yeah, we’ve already got one!” Logan shoots back, surprising himself with the retort. He winks cheekily at you and you positively beam in response, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Alright, that’s our cue!” Lando steers Oscar toward the door. “Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do, you crazy kids!”

The door slams behind them, leaving you and Logan alone in blissful quiet. His arms tighten around your waist, keeping you pressed flush against him. For a few heartbeats, you simply drink each other in, basking in the unfamiliar but not unwelcome feelings bubbling up.

Eventually you break the spell with a featherlight brush of your lips against the corner of Logan’s mouth. “So, was that too forward? I shouldn’t have just sprung that on you ...”

“No!” He rushes to reassure you. “God, no. I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

You poke his chest lightly, eyes dancing with mirth. “Not even racing?”

Logan chuckles, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. “Okay, maybe one other thing. But you’re definitely in the top two.”

Winding your arms back around his neck, you arch one brow mischievously. “Only top two? I’ll have to work on that ...”

His breath catches in his throat at the playful promise in your tone. “I, uh ... I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

As you lean in to kiss him again, Logan can’t help but silently thank Lando and Oscar for dragging him to that party. True, the night didn’t go exactly as expected. But he wound up with the greatest prize of all — you, here in his arms, carefree and happy and perfect in every way.

Like the gentleman his mama raised him to be, Logan vows silently to cherish every moment with you. After all, only a fool would look a gift horse like you in the mouth.

***

Adrenaline still thrums through Logan’s veins as he exits parc fermé, helmet tucked under his arm. His cheeks ache from the wide grin stretched across his face — a double points finish was exactly what Williams needed.

Alex falls into step beside him, equally elated after their impressive showing on the track today. They did good, really good. Logan can’t wait to celebrate with the whole team.

As they approach the Williams garage, a familiar head of hair catches Logan’s eye. You’re standing front and center, bouncing on the balls of your feet with poorly contained excitement. A large bakery box is clutched in your hands, the elaborate logo on the lid leaving little doubt as to its expensive contents.

Logan’s grin widens impossibly further. Of course you’d be here with treats in tow, always ready to turn any occasion into a party. His heart swells with affection just watching you eagerly await his and Alex’s return.

The rest of the team notice their arrival and erupt into cheers, crowding around to clap the drivers on the back with jubilant congratulations. You hang back, though your whole face is lit up with unabashed pride.

“Nice one out there, lads!” An engineer calls over the ruckus.

“About time we had a good points haul,” Another mechanic agrees.

Logan waves off the compliments with a bashful duck of his head. The team has been through so much in recent seasons — they deserve this moment more than he does.

“Alright, alright! Give the boys some space to breathe!” A familiar voice rings out.

You shove your way through the throngs of people, bounding right up to Logan with a brilliant grin. He has a split second to brace himself before you launch into his arms, nearly sending him toppling backward with the force of your enthusiasm.

“You were brilliant!” You exclaim, planting an exuberant kiss on his cheek that has him blushing furiously. “Both of you! I’m so proud!”

Alex chuckles fondly as you untangle yourself from Logan just enough to loop an arm around the other man’s shoulders. “We couldn’t have done it without the team’s hard work. You should be proud of them.”

“Oh, I am!” You turn your beaming smile on the rest of the crew. “Which is why I brought a little celebratory treat!”

Holding up the bakery box with a waggle of your brows, you peel back the lid to reveal a massively decadent-looking chocolate cake. It’s one of the most elaborate confections Logan has ever laid eyes on.

A reverent hush falls over the assembled group as they all lean in to get a better look. The air is suddenly thick with the rich scent of cocoa and buttercream frosting.

“Blimey, Y/N! That must’ve set you back a pretty penny!” Alex exclaims.

You wave him off with a casual flap of your hand. “Oh, please! You don’t even want to know how many races I’ve brought an expensive cake to just in case. I’m just glad I finally got to use this one!”

A ripple of laughter rolls through the crew at that. Logan shakes his head in fond exasperation, equal parts endeared and unsurprised by your extravagant gesture.

When your gaze lands on him again, warmth blooms in his chest at the open adoration shining in your eyes. You look at him like he’s the most impressive thing you’ve ever seen, not some lucky racer who simply played a tiny part in today’s success.

Liquid courage from the race still thrumming through his veins, Logan acts on impulse. Plucking the cake box deftly from your grip, he passes it off to a bewildered Alex before cupping your face in his hands and kissing you soundly.

A startled squeak quickly melts into a pleased hum as you melt against him, looping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. Logan pours every ounce of his pride and affection for you into the heated press of his lips, uncaring of the captive audience for once.

Hoots and hollers finally break through the rosy haze fogging Logan’s mind. He breaks the kiss with a breathless chuckle, thumbs brushing over the delightfully flushed apples of your cheeks.

“Get a room, you two!” Alex hollers with a roll of his eyes.

The rest of the crew quickly devolves into jokes and ribbing at your expense, but Logan couldn’t care less. With you smiling up at him like he hung the moon, the rest of the world simply falls away.

“You taste like chocolate,” he murmurs, brushing his nose against yours.

The impish grin you shoot him in return makes his heart stutter. “Well, it wouldn’t be a proper party without dessert.”

An arm slings around Logan’s shoulders, disrupting the little bubble you’ve found yourselves cocooned in. He startles, having completely forgotten about the dozens of other people still milling about.

“Well isn’t this just precious!” Gaetan, Logan’s race engineer, gives him an affectionate shake. “Young love blossoming right here in the garage!”

Red blooms high on Logan’s cheeks even as your melodic giggles wash over him. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.

“We’re not that young.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” Gaetan retorts with a bark of laughter. “You two have more spark than the rest of the kids around here combined.”

Your hand finds Logan’s, tangling your fingers together as you lean bodily into his side. For a fleeting moment, he allows himself to bask in the happiness surrounding him. It’s like floating, secure in the knowledge that you’ll always be right here to keep him grounded.

“You know,” you begin softly, batting your lashes up at Logan. “This might just be my new favorite party.”

A surprised huff of laughter escapes him. But really, he shouldn’t be so shocked. From the moment he met you, it was clear you had an unparalleled zest for life. You see the joy and potential for a good time in every single occasion. It’s one of the many, many things Logan loves about you.

“Your favorite, huh?” He bends to press his forehead to yours, drinking in your radiant smile. “I’ll remember this one, then.”

Because no matter how many parties, races, or adventures you two share moving forward, Logan vows to cherish each and every one with you by his side. After all, every single moment is worth celebrating when you get to spend it with the person you love most.

[wanderingblindly]

Could you maybe possibly write something for 30. As comfort for landoscar?

And mayhaps lando comforting Oscar? I feel like we rarely see that dynamic, typically it’s the other way around, it would be interesting to see it swapped!

ok hear me out, it's less so traditional comforting and more so.... teasingly comforting? Like Lando somehow being able to tell Oscar's distressed when no one else does, but he's high after his vegas crash (anyone remember those pictures? i do. perfection) prompt list

Illusion of Indifference

They can't wait much longer to start the debrief, if not solely because the strip will open back up eventually; Vegas will return to its normal circus, thankful that they don't have to think about Formula 1 for at least a few more months.

Oscar unlocks his phone, hidden under the table, and spares it a quick glance.

No texts.

The clock's just struck 1am. Not that time really matters much during the season – Oscar just goes where he's told, when he's told – but it's been a while since the race ended.

More notably, it's been a while since he's heard news on Lando. But he's fine, certainly. They would have told Oscar if he wasn't fine; they would have given him sad looks securely tucked behind carefully curated masks, they would have avoided his gaze. So he's fine. And therefore Oscar's fine.

Andrea is saying something that he tries his best to hear, pressing his finger into the table emphatically – driving the point home. It hadn't been a remarkable race from Oscar's end, though P10 is better than nothing. A point in his rookie season is a point in his rookie season, after all.

Oscar's lips turn down at the corners as he thinks about it, leaned back in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest.

Still no texts. The clock's struck 1:15am.

The door slams open loudly, bouncing back against it's hinges and crashing into the wall. Everyone in the room jumps, Oscar turns to look at the noise.

"Oops," Lando giggles, a vaguely apologetic-looking Jon popping up over his shoulder. "Soz guys, Jon's so slow." The words are a little slurred, but he's in one piece.

He's standing in the doorway on his own, drowning in an oversized jacket he probably nicked from a team member, and he's smiling. No bandages on his face – Oscar's eyes flick down – no casts on his arms. Nothing on his legs, no unevenness in his gate as he walks over –

"Oh Oscar," He sighs, a heavy, intoxicated hand slamming onto his shoulder; he kind of misses, hand awkwardly spanning a bit onto his neck. Lando smiles down at him, and Oscar realizes just how much pain medication they have him on; his pupils are massive, almost alarmingly so. "You were scared, mate?"

Oscar makes a noise, furrowing his brows. He'd been entirely calm, sitting patiently and waiting. Everyone would agree that he'd been handling it so –

Lando looks over at Andrea and holds a finger up to his lips, like he's about to share a secret. "Y'wanna know how y'can tell?"

The team watches on, a few of them giggling at Lando's slight sway, Jon moments away from burying his face in his hands.

"It's his heart," He starts, making some flailing motion with his free hand. "Goes all, bumpbumpbumpbump like frickin' crazy."

Oscar opens his mouth to defend himself, because how would Lando even know, but then he feels it – a slight shift in Lando's hands on his shoulder, definitely more on the side of his neck than not.

Oh.

"Ooooooh," Lando coos, leaning closer to inspect his face. "He's blushing, you guys!"

"That's enough, Lando," Jon finally pipes up, moving to put Oscar out of his racing-heart-burning-face misery.

"Just lemme," Lando grins – a little crooked – and leans even closer; Oscar, borderline hypnotized by the thin ring of his irises, the flutter of his tired eyes, can't even move. Without hesitation, Lando presses his lips to Oscar's forehead – soft and warm and, much to Oscar's horror, butterfly-inducing. "All better, yeah?" Lando laughs, finally letting himself be pulled back by Jon.

"Uh," Oscar says ineloquently, looking over at his team for some sort of direction. They all stare back, hiding smiles and chuckles behind their hands.

"Want Kim to check your heart rate, Oscar?" Andrea asks, earning a fresh peal of laughter from Lando – finally sat in a chair on the opposite side of the table.

[merakiui]

the idea of twst boys and a virgin! reader who acts like they done the act before, they are that one friend who takes the opportunity to make a dirty joke but get all shy when ppl asked if they held hands with someone

The shy virgin (darling) versus the (semi-)confident virgin (Floyd).......... Floyd who never explicitly states that he's a virgin, but you assume he's not because he's so loud and social and so he probably knows all kinds of people and has had all kinds of experiences in the bedroom.

Maybe Floyd never had much interest in sex because he's so enthralled with other parts of land and human culture (shoes, parkour, basketball, etc), but that changes when he meets you and he gets to know you and suddenly you're all he's thinking about and....... he's down tremendously bad for you. He may seem confident with his touches and behaviors, which you might think are all just Floyd being Floyd, but Floyd cannot flirt to save his life and every time he finds himself in a situation where he may be able to confess or kiss you (or do more) he's running away. >_< he can't lie either because he and his bodily cues are terribly honest, so he just evades questions or answers really vaguely if any of them are about things like who his crush is or if he even has a crush. orz

But then it works with you being so shy because he has a field day teasing you for it. >:D maybe you tell him you've never held hands with anyone in that way (romantically) before and he slides his hand into yours and says, "Lemme change that for Shrimpy," all with that goofy grin, but what you don't know is that his heart is racing. AAAAAAA he's so thrilled and so nervous, which is an odd combination because he's never had to feel so awkward around others before. But this awkwardness comes from a different place because he's in love with you. Floyd is mostly confident until he has to actually confront his feelings for you and he has no idea how to do that because he doesn't want to ruin the friendship he has with you if it turns out you don't feel the same.

[pyro-les]

So unfortunately it's unlikely I'll finish it's a blessing and it's a curse anytime soon if at all, my motivation to write it slowly slipped while I had no time to write and now even though I do have a bit of time I can't finish it. I am really sorry to anyone who enjoyed reading it but I think by this point it's kinda obvious there wouldn't be a chance I would continue it.

That being said my Agatha Harkness obsession has come back full blown since the start of AAA and now one for Rio too. So if anyone would be interested in reading either any Agathario or X reader fics for either of the two please lemme know cause I'd like to see if anyone's interested. Also please send any requests or ideas in my asks cause I'd love some and it really helps my writing when I've got an idea for a fic. So whether uts a small vague one shot idea or something more specific please go send them in my askbox.

[setsuntamew]

Hello and welcome to "Icon Making With Killian: An Intro to the 'Lost' Art of LiveJournal Icons"

aka, I'm still making them and I'd like to teach you how to do it, too!

This tutorial was written in Photoshop 2020, but you can probably recreate it in as far back as CS2-ish (since I still use the same sort of techniques I've been using since then, lmao). It also assumes basic understanding of the software, though I've tried to be as clear as possible throughout.

With that out of the way, let's get this tutorial on the road!!!!!!

I started with the bloomed art of Hiiro from the White Lilies scout box (image courtesy of the Ensemble Stars!! English Wiki).

I basically always start with a blank 100x100 canvas and paste the image into it. I try to go into icon making with a vague idea of what I want to do, and I knew from the beginning that my vision for this icon would have the top 1/4-1/3 of the image covered by a solid band of color. To make positioning the image of Hiiro easier, I made a rough version of the band with temporary colors (though they're pretty close to what I ended up using in the end).

With that in place, I could start working with the actual image for the icon. After pasting it in and adjusting the layers so it was under the band, I resized it and moved it around a bunch until I was happy with the position. Once I liked how it looked, I used an Unsharp Mask on the base.

Next up, I used a texture from lookslikerain. However, purple is all wrong for the color scheme I had in mind, so I went to Image > Adjustments > Hue/Saturation... to change it up to better suit my needs. Never be afraid to mess around with textures!

Here's how I adjusted this specific texture, but each one is unique- both the texture and the icon you're creating, so it's best to play with it until you get good results.

I then pasted this into the icon, making sure it was under the layers making up the top bands of color (because I was only trying to affect the base for now), and set this layer to Darken.

Now it's time to mess with the colors of the top band. They sorta matched before I did anything to the base, but now...not quite. I used a layer style for each part of it, but using the paint bucket tool would work just as well. I went to Layer > Layer Styles > Color Overlay... for each, changing the colors as necessary. The thickest band is #85d0bf, the middle band is #086371, and the thinnest, lightest one is #fcfcd8.

Time to start putting stuff on top of everything!! I took this light texture from ianthinae, rotated it, and set it to Lighten. I decided I wanted it to be a little bit brighter, so I duplicated the layer, set it to Screen, and dropped the Opacity to 20%.

I then used a texture from Sarah-Dipity and set it to Lighten as well.

Okay, now that's what I'm talkin' about!!! It's time to throw some text on this~ I went for something simple to go with the theme of the story this card is from: Princely. The font is Georgia, 10pt, in #086371, set to all caps. I decided it didn't stand out enough, so I duplicated it, changed the color to #8b4235, dragged it under the first text layer, and moved it 1 pixel to the right.

I wanted a bit more embellishment around it, so I used this simple tiny text brush from colorfilter in #06444d. I also erased part of it to make it fit the space better.

Finally, I used a texture from shiruji, set to Darken to get a bit more color variation in it, and called it done! :D

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask, and I'll answer as best I can- as long as it's not about making icons in other software D: I only know Photoshop (and Paint Shop Pro, but I don't think anyone uses that anymore). If there are any other icons of mine you're interested in seeing tutorials for - or even just specific techniques! - just lemme know. I love helping :D

Also, I'm happy to share where I get icon resources from. I have a whole post dedicated to that on my DW graphics journal, though tbh that's the best place to talk to me about making graphics in general. But I will absolutely answer asks/replies/etc about icons here on tumblr, don't worry!!!!

[orbitswritings]

Chapter 2 | word count: 1,428

synopsis: Neteyam and you are in a relationship, but you’re a sky demon and he’s the clan’s future Olo'eyktan so you’ve been keeping it secret. However, one day his parents finally catch word of what their firstborn’s been up to, and Neteyam is told to cut any contact with you. Unfortunately for them, he has a plan that he hopes will ensure you two can be together.

A/N: wow that took a while. no warnings yet but next chapter, get ready for some s m u t. and if anyone has ideas for wtf i should title this series lemme know.

chapter 1 | chapter 2

Three simple vague words, but they managed to stop you dead in your tracks. Neteyam couldn’t see your face, but his imagining of your expression made his heart ache and his stomach clench. Slowly, you turned around, revealing the exact expression he’d pictured, only worse.

“W-what?” You softly asked, pain obvious in your small voice. His ears pinned against his head, unable to handle the distress in your voice. Neteyam opened his mouth to respond, but nothing managed to come out. 

Dropping the towels, your hands took the sides of your head. The realization was stabbing you, pointed tips drenched in toxins were repeatedly shoved straight through your chest. It was sickening. You shook your head, feeling grief overtake. What his simple words meant were clear as day in what it was going to entail for the two of you: Neteyam was going to be ripped out of your life, you’d never see him again. You’d be banned by the enraged Na’vi clan from ever even looking in the direction of the Omaticaya village.

Over the months you’d come to quickly love Neteyam with a deepness your body has never experienced before- but also, he was your only friend. Your one true connection you felt you had across all the planets and galaxies combined.

On Pandora, you were cursed; too young to properly bond with and be respected in any way by the other older scientists, and far too human to connect with the Na’vi  (Spider too, ironically) or any other facet of Pandora’s life. Without Neteyam, you could already feel the return of isolation on this alien planet looming, waiting for the right moment to violently drown you.

Neteyam exhaled, trying to release the tension his body held. He wanted to move, to comfort you, but the last strings of his parents demands echoed within his mind, keeping his feet in place. Ultimately, once he saw the light catch off your welling tears, he could no longer stomach it. The sight of you, all alone in such mental distress caused by his own words. He only ever felt desires to protect you and keep you healthy and happy.

Neteyam shook his head and moved forward taking you into his arms. You flinched, a bit shocked, but you immediately accepting his offer of physical comfort by hugging his waist, burying your head into him. Your tears started to flow, which only made him hold you more securely, keeping your shaking body close, not letting you go. Exactly what his parents explicitly didn’t want.

“We . . . don’t have to separate, though.”

You sniffled, craning your head back to look up at the tall male’s face, confusion clear on your face. “What do you mean?” Already, you were interested. You wanted nothing more than his answer that’ll help you to escape the crushing misery. Neteyam sighed. This was going to be a hard one to explain.

“What I mean is . . . I think I have an idea, but just . . . listen.” You felt nervousness prickle your skin. What was he thinking? On your end, nothing in mind came to an answer, but that was you, a human. Neteyam had exclusive knowledge of his kind and his family, information that may keep you two together. You blinked, hesitantly nodding for him to continue.

He ran his hand across his head, smoothing back his braids as his eyes searched the floor, trying to conjure up the best way to verbalize his thoughts.

“Earlier today, we were talking about what our future holds. What being together might look like. When we both talked, we made it sound so far away . . . . but it may be much closer to now than either of us would’ve ever expected.” He looked from the floor to meet your eyes, searching yours for signs you understood what he meant.=You were confused, reeling through the memory of the exact conversation you two had earlier.

Neteyam watched the realization dawn on you; your eyes opening wide as your shoulders scrunched up in defense.=He felt you pull away in his hold, so he allowed you to freely slip out, knowing forcibly restricting your movements would only make your panic increase.

“Ne-Neteyam!” You shrieked, quickly putting space between you two. You were embarrassed, the sadness from earlier briefly being paused. “That’s-! Insane-! It doesn’t-!” You were flabbergasted, needing to turn your back to him so you could regain your senses without being under his gaze. Your clenched fist went to your chest while your other hand went to your neck, nervously rubbing it.

“Yeah we were talking, but it was just that, talk! It wouldn’t work, never, we’re different species! Human, Na’vi . . . ” It was the whole basis behind his mother despising you, despite never having exchange a single word. “We can’t reproduce-! It’s not even possible!”

“A-And your mother,” You gulped. Humans only a few inches taller than you were already intimidating enough in your mind, now picture a 10-foot tall alien warrior woman infuriated and with a bone to pick, coming after you. That was what fueled nightmares and now Neteyam was trying to bring it into reality.

“Your mom already wants to rip my throat out. If it worked, I’d be stuck looking for the segments of my spine spanning the entire planet.”

Neteyam visibly bristled at the idea, the ends of his lips twitching. He loved his mother with his entire being, but he loved you, too. He wouldn’t let his mother lay a finger on you, did you not know that? Yes, he’d never hurt his mother, but he . . . just wouldn’t let it happen.

“Calm yourself. That’s my point.” Neteyam placed a hand on your shoulder, gripping it securely to keep your focus. “My mother would never kill or harm the mother of her own grandchild! You know how important family is to us Na’vi. You having my child would give us the opportunity to say we’re a mated pair, and force them to accept us.” His tone was rising. He closed his eyes to collect himself, taking a deep breath through his nose before slowly reopening them.

“Look, I can’t promise my mother will ever accept you entirely like she did for my dad, but if you have my child, it would be enough for me to demand you’re seen as my mate and it would be enough to keep her in place. My dad- I know he would eventually come around and accept you, along with all my brother and sisters. They won’t care you’re a sky person. They’ll probably be the first ones to see you as part of the family.”

You didn’t have much experience with the other younger members of the Sully’s, Neytiri would blow a gasket if she found another sky person poking around her children, but his siblings did have a deep affection for Spider, then maybe Neteyam was right in that regard.

Still, having a murderous mother-in-law that could crush you like a bug in an instant, just barely being held back from murdering you by constitution wasn’t exactly selling the idea. Plus, you couldn’t shake off the whole reproduction working. You were doubting the authenticity of Neteyam’s idea, a part of you thinking it was nothing but him pulling together bits and pieces of baseless ideas all on the fly in a desperate bid to save this. Not that you didn’t appreciate his effort, but you wished he had something more solid.

“Neteyam,” You started, looking down at the floor. Neteyam winced, defeat sinking in as he knew exactly where this was heading. “I love you so much, I just can’t-” You stopped, unable to continue. You didn’t know how to continue.

The words to deny his proposal were already in your head, but they refused your tongue, blocked by relentless images of you being engulfed by loneliness after your one companion is torn away and separated by a barrier of thick, imposing forests you’re never allowed to step foot in again.

If someone is on the end of the plank, about to be forced into the dark ocean below, with no other options is it that foolish to pray that a lifesaver miraculously falls from the sky? At least Eywa had a seemingly better record of answering prayers than God ever did. You took a deep breath that filled out your rib cage, before loudly exhaling. “Okay. Let’s do it . . . I will . . . at least try.”

---

Tag list: @neteyamwifesstuff @christinechickiee @heaven1oo4 @bluealiensimp​

@ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @n1ght5h4d3-24 @yeosxxx @mirikusashes @llearlert @idktbhloley @mashiromochi @avatarmasterlistblog @twerkingnutella18 @leilaniers @devil-on-acid @kibumslatina @anxietydrogz @k----a27s @grierpilots @bobojojoba69 @mirikusashes​

[togepies]

OC Interview: Wren Vogel

tagged by @miss--river, thank you!!! tagging with no pressure as always: @nightcxty, @dustymagpie, @irrewilderer, @quietwaters, @wanderingaldecaldo, @theviridianbunny, and @glitchinginthegarden ♡

Name: Wren, like the bird!

Nickname: Well V is the one most people know but hardly anyone calls me that anymore. Finch calls me Renny but it sucks and he does it to bother me. And beloved calls me sunshine!

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Sagittarius, and I guess it's fitting! At least that's what I heard. I don't really know a lot about that stuff but it's fun to read horoscopes anyway!

Height: a painfully average 5'6"...it would be so cool to be taller. Something like...6'3". I just want to see the world from up high, you know? How fun would that be?

Orientation: Bi ace *finger guns*

Nationality/Ethnicity: American. And wait! My mom is French so that makes me half French. Does that matter? Is that part of it? I don't know, I get nationality and ethnicity mixed up and don't really know what they mean.

Fave Fruit: Any fruit dipped in chocolate. If it's not dipped in chocolate I don't want to see it.

Fave Season: Summer! Sun and good vibes, can't ask for much else.

Fave Flower: Sunflowers, they're so big and bright and colorful I'm OBSESSED!

Fave Scent: Am I weird if I say cigars? I feel like that's weird. But it's nostalgic! It reminds me of my dad.

Coffee, tea or hot chocolate: Coffee. Coffee is my true soulmate.

Average hours of sleep: What is sleep

Dog or Cat person: You know something, I don't think I have ever seen a dog. But I've seen some coyotes, and they're pretty cute. Can't really go near 'em though (even if they look very pettable)...so by default- cat person!

Dream trip: Somewhere snowy!!!! I have never, ever seen snow and it's number 1 on my bucket list.

Favorite fictional character: Okay there's this old (really old) movie called This is Spinal Tap (perks of having an ancient partner...he shows me all sorts of awesome stuff...don't tell him I called him ancient). There's a character called Nigel Tufnel- I think I'll go with him, mostly because I'm jealous of his guitar collection.

Number of blankets they sleep with: I like to hunker down with a couple of 'em, the bigger the better. And so many pillows! Even if I can't sleep, it's still nice to lay in the dark all comfy-like.

Random fact: THIS IS SO VAGUE, wait lemme think. Ok ok ok, I really like baseball! I guess it's not that interesting but...it is pretty random. And it's something you wouldn't expect, right? Riiiiight?

[libertineangel]

Stellaris will be free to play next weekend!

From the 22nd to 26th on Steam the base game will be free to play (which means there'll probably be a sale on too), so if anyone's wanted to try it out without buying into the Paradox DLC machine your chance is imminent!

I've posted tons about it for years so you're probably all at least vaguely familiar with it by now, but for anyone who isn't - it's a sandbox space strategy game in which you design your own spacefaring civilisation and then guide it through several centuries in a procedurally-generated galaxy, exploring and settling new worlds, engaging with other interstellar societies however you please.

If any mutuals are interested and wanna try it out in multiplayer lemme know and I'd be happy to - I have all the DLC so if I host a game you'll get the complete experience, and it even has co-op now where multiple people can control the same civilisation! (I am busy on the 24th though, we'd be able to play through the early game at most but honestly that's always the best bit)

[its-actually-minicika]

What about their clash in the dungeons made Aemond obsessed with her? Was it because she fought back?

And how do you think Daeron would react/think of the way Aemond ‘forcibly’ did the things he did to her (saying this as vaguely as possible as I don’t want to spoil anyone lmao). Will it be an ‘all is fair in love and war’? This is with the assumption that Daeron is the only proper thinking male Hightower-Targ. Unless he is also depraved I do not mind if he is

I love these outtakes and I love you! Can’t wait for the next ep

AH I LOVE THESE OUTTAKES PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING 🫶

You might not have entered spoiler teritory, but I for sure will - so lemme continue this post under the cut

She definitely intrigued him - and that is incredibly important for Aemond.

Before she was captured by the Greens, Lady Tully insisted that she be allowed to fight alongside her brothers. She clashed swords with Aemond once the battle at Rook's Rest ensued - well, they fought closer to the Antlers than anything, but during the same bloodbath.

Thankfully for her life - but unfortunately for her autonomy and new-found freedom -, Lady Tully didn't manage to lay in too many blows. While she was busy engaging the Prince, she failed to see the Green Loyalists that flocked behind her. They managed to sever her Patellar ligament almost completely, and due to the pain, exhaustion and blood-loss, she fainted not long after.

To say that Aemond was dissatisfied with the way their brawl ended was an understatement. To his mind, he won unfairily - there is no glory to be taken when a stupid Redwyne footer cuts the leg of your future girl lol

So Aemond was already aware of her existence and fiery personality - now moreso than ever.

When he entered the Dungeons, after leaving her alone for so long, his plan was to make her feel stressed and unsafe. He wanted to give her a show of his power (i.e his threats: 《"I had in mind to let my men fuck you." He remarks dryly, but lets out a disappointed sigh. "But I don't think any of them would get it up to your whorish face."》).

He thought she'd beg for mercy, agree to do anything to turn her grandfather's banners to Aegon's cause. Because who wouldn't be desperate for medical attention, for fresh air, for clean clothes and warm food after they've been left in the dark for three weeks?

Not our Lady.

And that made him very interested in her, indeed.

She not only found the energy to be witty with him back, but she also attempted to gouge out his other eye.

She was anything but submissive, and Aemond caught himself wanting to understand her. To study her. To figure her out.

There are some really interesting studies out there (which I'll try to link if possible) that talk about serial killer mentality.

For most socio/psychopaths, getting to know their victim makes it harder for them to kill said person afterwards. Because they get to see them as more than just a means to an end - they start seeing them as human. Something closer to an equal. Something that clashes with their views on "exterminating" - they don't kill people they're intrigued by, people that make them feel good, people that give them a purpose ("Serial Murder - FBI").

So right off the bat, Lady Tully started meaning something for Aemond. And that immediately impacted him in such a way, that it made it impossible for him to detach from her.

He came by to visit her, again and again, and found a weird pattern of normality in their midnight talks. If he closed his eye, and abstained from thinking of the war (the only reason Lady Tully was even at his mercy), he could regard her as a "friend". As a woman who saw him for who he was, listened to him, and didn't run away - though not from lack of trying, mind you.

With time, his obsession grew and developed. And when she asked him whether or not her grandsire agreed to pledge for Aegon's cause, Aemond paniked.

Because House's Tully undoubted support meant that he had to actually let her go. He had to watch her leave him.

Bookcanon Aemond has A LOT of issues. And a very distinctive abandonment one. He would never give up his safe heaven. Never. That is why he remained silent in the face of her family's pleading letters (see Chapter 4, present in Oscar's dialogue: 《The young Lordling huffed annoyedly, jolting on the brink of madness, "The deranged cripple wouldn't reply to any of our ravens!"》).

Aemond clings to the riverlander because she showed him 3 pivotal qualities:

1) She proved that she can match his wit;

2) She was kind to him (bathed him, thanked him and praised him for being attentive - which no one else ever did);

3) Wrapped him in a false sense of understanding and security.

Now, whether or not Aemond grew to actually love his Lady, or if he's simply obsessed with his warped image of who she is, and subconsciously dependant with how she makes him feel is up for anyone to decide.

I WILL GLADLY GO INTO MORE DETAIL ABOUT AEMOND'S PATHOLOGY IF YOU GUYS WANT, BUT LET ME MOVE ONTO DAERON IN THE MEANTIME :")

Book Daeron is very dutiful. And he proved time and time again that he'll stand by his family, no matter who's in the right.

The most I see him do in regards to the impromptu marriage that Aemond imposed onto his Lady, is chastise his brother for potentially losing the support of Storm's End. He was betrothed to Floris Baratheon, after all, and his reckless behaviour can only bring one of two endings upon his family:

Either Lord Borros, the proud man that he's always been, takes Aemond's marriage as a slight and disregard of his daughter and family, leading him to turn his banners against Aegon, or he insists upon marrying one of his daughters to Daeron, instead.

You could make the argument that he might still give Floris to Aemond, thus making her his second wife. But the Lord of Storm's End is too proud a man to ever succumb his daughter to such a fate.

For we all know that a second wife is never as important or dear as the first.

Daeron would understand that they're at war. He would disagree with his brother's chosen match, but not because he thinks it unorthodox to marry a Lady against her will - but because his actions would lead to dire consequences brought upon their side.

At the end of the day, though, Aemond could have done much worse to Lady Tully. Forcing her to marry him, and not even claiming her virtue is the least of his worries.

It might even make him happy, given that a marriage isn't a true marriage until it is consummated. With a little luck, the Greens might be able to dissolve Aemond's reckless love match, and give Floris to him as intended.

[dynmghts]

plots please! c:

rubs my hands together. i know you're super into genpact still (and hsr more so, but i haven't played enough to make a verse for katsuki yet), so lemme write up some ideas! we already have a basis for tartaglia and bennett mostly, so let's see if i can maybe slap down a few more that we could expand on !!

I. DILUC + KATSUKI (GENPACT). I swear we've discussed this before, and knowing me I've gone and forgotten exactly what, but I just like the idea of Diluc and Katsuki interacting. I think it would also be funny to implement the fact that Katsuki rendezvous with Tartaglia often, since he's always offering a challenge, and I doubt that Katsuki is inherently subtle with it - it looks as though he corresponds with the Fatui, but that's not the case for him. He's just there to fight Tartaglia like the little menace of a pseudo-younger brother he is. I think it'd be cool to see what Diluc might think of that. And let's be real, any sort of miscommunication... One of my favourite tropes to mess around with.

II. HU TAO + KATSUKI (GENPACT). These two... I bet that Hu Tao would quickly find every single one of Katsuki's nerves and tap dance right across them, but I'm not sure if she'd do it accidentally or if it'd be for the funsies. I think she'd also be the one dragging poor Katsuki into her bizarre ideas or any other antics she could potentially enlist his help for, because let's be real... All she has to do is imply he can't do whatever she's trying to get his help for. I think they'd get along well after a while, though! It's kind of like. Silly goofy meets silly angry.

III. SETO KAIBA (BNHA) + KATSUKI. Now I'll be honest: I don't got a single clue about Kaiba's original source, but I DO know you've recommended him to me a few times! I quickly read your bit on his BNHA verse and what he specialises in, and I vaguely remember you saying he'd be invested in Katsuki as a Pro-Hero or even as an up-and-coming one. I'd like to see these two working on possible upgrades and improvements to his existing tech, so long as it's not stepping on anyone's toes that he's getting these upgrades - Katsuki is someone who, ultimately, plays by most rules set by the Commission. Maybe he'd be seeking out some upgrades for his Strafe Panzer... We could play around with this one a little if you'd like!

and also because i've been seeing this boy frequently enough on my dash from you, i'm gonna slap down this too:

IV. ACHILLES (GENPACT) + KATSUKI (GENPACT). I also know nothing about Fate, which is where he's from, but I read up on your Genpact verse for him and I am... Interested... Katsuki's travelling the entire world of Teyvat, so I wouldn't put it past him to run into Achilles somewhere in Fontaine as a result of that, maybe chasing him down after hearing some things about him. As for what happens when they cross paths, you're gonna have to hit me with some ideas - because all my knowledge of Achilles comes straight out of The Odyssey and The Song of Achilles, I don't got a clue about Fate's version.

@resolutepath / PLOTS PLEASE, ACCEPTING.

[kazooku]

Introducing Casey Windro, the time traveling menace!!

God Casey's been one of my favorite OCs ever since I made it back in January. I'm so glad that I can finally post about it now. It's also been kinda my punching bag lately oops. They're an MCU OC and the first of probably many. I'm also trying to figure out ways to insert Casey into other Marvel medias, but for now, they're MCU only.

Casey's whole gimmick is that they're a time traveler who can't change the past. It is a snap survivor. The snap happened when it was 10, and despite none of their family snapping they're two only friends did. Casey doesn't have the best relationship with its family, even from an early age. It's dad was constantly busy, and it's mom had an idea of what she wanted Casey to be and ignored them whenever they drifted from that idea, which was often. It's friends were their family, and that family was gone.

The 5 years that the snap lasted Casey retreated into itself. It didn't try to get close to anyone again because there was no point to it. The people they were close to disappeared into thin air, and the irrational voice in their head said it'll happen again if they did. In the middle of the snap, their great grandma died and left it her pocket watch. The watch was broken and had been broken for as long as Casey could remember, so they made it their mission to fix it.

They fixed it a month after the snap was reversed and with it unlocked time travel but with a cost. Casey could not change any major events. No matter how hard it tried, it couldn't stop the snap. It acted out. Causing chaos but impossible to leave lasting damage. It got on a certain spider's radar for that reason and possibly gained a new friend.

Casey is no longer close to the friends they once considered friends. They're 5 years older now. If asked it would say the Casey they knew died and they deserve better than the shell of their old self that they are.

Casey uses it/they and is a triple A battery (Aromantic, Asexual, and Agender) and a lesbian.

Running out of text space on Instagram and added more in comments so lemme just add those here

When it stops traveling back it needs to relearn consequences. They could do whatever they wanted in the past without a real effect. Now in the present they turn reckless and self destructive forgetting that there's no undoing what happens. They're rash impulsive. It takes a few good years in therapy to get these behaviors under control.

They stop time traveling mostly after a year. It doesn't completely stop but there's larger gaps in between. The people around them who know are getting them to see the damage they're doing to themself through this.

I'm being purposely vague here on the friendship between Casey and Peter but they are close. Starting off as mutual annoyances to inseparable.

Might talk about it more in another post but Casey actually dodges the spell in NWH. They get into an argument and Casey storms off into the past. When they come back and no one remembers him they're confused as hell. It takes them 2 months to track him down and break into his apartment.

Casey is autistic adhd like me lol. Can't write an OC without that oops. Anyways it has a special interest in crow bars. It's weird, it's strange, but they love them. Their favorite is a white one with hello kitty painted on it.

I have a design and plot for a timeskip Casey. I will draw them eventually and talk more there but!! It takes place when Casey is 20 and is them getting into shit with their college friends and occasionally dragging Peter along. They are an English major btw

Working on a Spiderverse Casey variant. So far the plan is the snap is never undone and while time traveling Casey gets frustrated and tells Peter he will die and he tells them yo take over. After failing to change the past they give in and become the new Spider-Man but going by a different name.

They start getting therapy at 17

It has fangs because pre snap friend dared it to file their teeth. It did. The fangs are sensitive to temperature.

Originally posted on May 23rd on Instagram

[ladywithoutababy]

Here we go again

My last post was two and a half years ago. I actually just realized that I never posted anything since being 41 weeks pregnant – I can't remember if that was on purpose (I can imagine myself not wanting to trigger anyone who's reading a fertility blog with details of a healthy baby finally appearing) or if I was so overwhelmed with having a newborn that I forgot, or if I meant to have a follow up post but didn't get around to it. Either way: I will continue to refrain from talking about the child I do have now on this blog, because it's not what I would have wanted to see when I was trying to get pregnant, but if you are curious about how things are going since then my husband and I have a podcast where we talk about it:

(That embed shows the latest episode, but you can click through to see all of them, including several about IVF/childbirth/having a newborn etc.)

Anyway, I am back here now because we have decided to try and have a second baby, which seems insane both because having one baby has been so hard but also because it would have been absolutely inconceivable (see what I did there...) to me a few years ago that I could ever have had the option to have more than one. I remember getting my "unexplained infertility" diagnosis and interpreting that as me being diagnosed with infertility (when clearly I am... not infertile). Might be good to look into calling that something else, medical community? "Unexplained pregnancy delay" perhaps? The point is, there's a difference (or at least there should be) between being diagnosed as infertile vs getting a doctor to agree that you've been trying unsuccessfully long enough that you can go ahead and get some help.

But now, we have 3 frozen (and confirmed genetically normal!) female embryos hanging out, and so we figured we might as well go for it. "In for a penny, in for a pound," my poor exhausted husband said one time when I wouldn't stop listing pros and cons of having a second. We haven't even really "decided" to try... we've just sort of waited long enough that we had to go in one direction or the other and we couldn't think of a good reason not to (and I at least really want a second kid if we can have one), so I made some calls and at some hard to define point those calls turned into a plan and now I am tentatively scheduled for an embryo transfer in January.

The plan will look something like this:

But first, as always, some pre-work. I got my IUD out a couple months ago in preparation (yes, I got an IUD after giving birth, and oh boy lemme tell you did it feel weird doing anything to prevent pregnancies after so many years of trying to make them happen, but they really scare you with stories of people who get pregnant again so soon after having their first kid), had to have a couple normal cycles, and today I had to get a saline sonogram just to make sure the structure of everything is looking good.

I vaguely remembered doing one of these before my previous transfer – I just looked it up and here it is on my blog from 2020 – and recalled it being painful but pretty quick, so I went into the doctor today without much apprehension. Maybe I should have checked the blog beforehand (or maybe it's good that I didn't), because this was MUCH MORE PAINFUL THAN I REMEMBERED! And as with all lady-specific procedures, no one warned me that it would bleed afterwards but of course it did (and still is).

This one was also a bit weird because I did it with my normal OB/GYN (I've moved a few hours outside of NYC, which is going to make things... interesting), and both the doctor and the ultrasound tech kept commenting that they didn't understand why the IVF doctor was requesting this again since I'd clearly already had a successful pregnancy. One more piece of friendly advice for the medical professionals: knock it off. I can't tell you how anxious and paranoid it makes me to hear that you think I'm doing something wrong. Either you think it's the wrong thing to do (in which case you should clearly express that before I come in and help me find the right thing!!!) or you're just sort of idly expressing your curiosity out loud which believe it or not is not super helpful in this moment.

Anyway, it's fine. It's all fine. And that's really the reason I wanted to come back to this blog after 2.5 years away. It's kind of blowing my mind how different this feels compared to the first time. The procedure hurt but I didn't take it personally or like yet another slight against me from the universe. The communication and planning is confusing and annoying, but it's not stressing me out (if something goes wrong and I do this a month later... who cares?). And if the transfer doesn't work – if none of these 3 embryos work – I will of course be disappointed but I know I won't be destroyed.

If there's one piece of advice I could have given the me going through her first cycle, this would have been it: it will all be fine. If you want a kid badly enough, you can find a way to have one. Chill out and don't waste the next 3 years of your life being mad about it (because the following 3 years are gonna make you wish you enjoyed that alone time...!).

But I can't give her that advice, and I know I also can't give you that advice. Because people tried giving me that advice and I didn't want to hear it. Maybe I couldn't hear it.

So, I dunno. Here we go again.

[mycelier]

Xena Coffee Shop A/U Idea

So Gabrielle works in coffee shop, maybe Starbucks, but more likely a smaller more niche store that is soft and quiet with big squishy couches where all the regulars know and love her. She’s exhausted from managing the place without being an official manager (or maybe she is idk) but she smiles often and the place remains busy despite a Starbucks having moved in just around the block because (although she would absolutely deny this) the patrons look forward to her positivity and advice. But people know not to mess with her or try to cause trouble for her or any of her fellow employees because although she is sweet she’ll kick you out if you even THINK about being rude to any of the employees.

Xena founded a karate/jujitsu/something hybrid gym SOMETHING where her primary focus is helping people (in particular, women or marginalized people who feel weak or unsafe or feel incapable of protecting themselves), but she doesn’t turn away people if they come to her for the right reasons. She hosts daily fighting lessons using different techniques (jujitsu, weapons, hand to hand, p much everything) and had reached an almost legendary status to those who have come to her in their time of need. It is well known in many circles that Xena used to the be the head of a....gang? Crime syndicate? Mob? I’m not sure, but something HUGE and something that made her a lot of money and a LOT of enemies before she left the life for good. I kind of like the idea of her being some kind of crime boss for some huge underground syndicate because that gives some room for some kidnappings and crazy stuff but also that’s hot as hell.

Joxer DEFINITELY becomes an employee by simple virtue of being in the store so much and bugging her so much that he may as well be being paid for it (but also he is...surprisingly good at creating new roasts and making cool new drinks so why not). He thinks he’s suave (like Ares) but deep down knows he’s not.

Ares is the obnoxious rude ass businessman who treads the line of being banned from the store but is accepted only because he buys ENORMOUS amounts of their coffee for his meetings or whatever. He’s buff as hell and has reflexes that put a cat to shame. I’m not sure if he’s officially into martial arts but he knows a lot of things from a lot of places. OH MAYBE HE IS LIKE BIG BOSS OF CRIME SYNDICATE THAT HAD BEEN PARTNERED WITH XENA’S IDK.

Ephiny is a student of Xena’s; she’s amazing but struggles with trusting partners after the loss of her husband (Phantes). Her son is just getting to the point of toddling and she already has him INVOLVED with Xena as much as is physically possible. She also works with Gabrielle in the coffee shop and is the eventual link that brings Gab and Xena together.

Callisto was Xena’s top student and top pain in the ass until the loss of her family. She now trains at a “rival” dojo. She’s constantly proclaiming herself better than Xena and trying to take Xena down a notch or two despite the fact that that’s not how any of this works. She lost her mom and sister in a fire and blames Xena (she was 8 or 9 and a student at Xena’s dojo; Xena took her home one evening with nobody came to pick her up after practice. she tried to run into the burning building but it was too far gone. she claims Xena kept her from saving her family but deep down thinks that if she hadn’t been at practice she might have been able to save them). She will probably have some kind of redemption arc because I feel bad for her even though she is irredeemable (from what I’ve seen so far in the show).

Perdicus worked at the coffee shop but left to figure out how he could win Gabby’s heart (they grew up together and he’s loved her since he knew what love was but she’s always been...unsure). He’s gonna be in the thing as like...some kind of friend at the very least because Callisto did him dirty in the show and I liked him.

Iolus and Hercules MAY run the “rival” gym. “Rival” continues to be in quotes because although everyone in the town sees them (Xena and Herc) as rivals, they have nothing but respect for one another. Herc is in love with Xena (she thought she loved him too..once.) and Iolus THINKS he’s in love with Xena and then thinks he loves Gabby but realizes he loves Hercules; this may be a uniting factor for Xena and Gabby as they work to try and help Iolus overcome his insecurities and confess his feelings to Hercules (who will be startled but is bi as hell and will be really excited because he thought Iolus was SUPER into Gabby/straight as could be).

Autolycus is an art thief a la Cary Grant in Psych. He has a lot of money but lives relatively modestly and donate a fair amount to charities and to Gabby’s coffee shop, all under a pseudonym of course because it could never get out that he secretly wants to be Robin Hood more than anything in the world. Perhaps at some point the coffee shop has gone broke (maybe Krykus runs the shop and he’s an asshole who doesn’t care and ends up stealing a ton of money and running off into the night?????) and Autolycus (and Xena) band together to purchase the shop and put it to Gabby’s name (which upsets Gabby at first until she realizes that they were helped by the ENTIRE STAFF and a lot of the loyal customers because they love her and they love the changes she’s made to the shop).

I’m thinking...maybe one night, late, after Gabby had to stay to do inventory and order stock, she’s mugged. They have a gun and although she’s willing to give them what’s in her wallet, she fights back when they threaten to physically assault her and she ends up punched a few times. Now, depending on how dark I want this to be...she’s either beat up BAD and ends up joining the gym after Ephiny finds her and takes her to the hospital and demands she take better care of herself....but more likely (because it’s HOTTER), Gabby is saved by Xena, who had also been at her gym late doing an inventory and stock of the small pre-packaged bars and shakes she sells or something, important because maybe Gabby will start providing some kind of healthy snack as a thank you to Xena??? Anyway, Xena busts in after Gabby’s beat up and saves the damn day. Now!!! Either Xena falls in love INSTANTLY but keeps it way down because that’s who she is, or she simply thinks Gabby is cute (’m not decided) and is delighted at first when she sees Gabby show up to her gym. Gabby is enraged and frustrated that she wasn’t able to protect herself and Xena shows her how to redirect and channel her anger away from doing harm and into protecting herself.

This will EVENTUALLY and ultimately be a Xena x Gabby fic but I think it’s gonna take a while for Gabby to get there. When she realizes she loves Xena it will hit her like a sack of bricks and she won’t be able to breathe for a few moments as she takes in the woman who has become her best friend in the entire world and realizes that she absolutely loves her.

And that’s more writing or thinking about writing than I’ve done in eons but I wanted to get it down somewhere.

[slav-every-day]

[kuiinncedes]

is there no more emoji confetti when u submit on canvas 😭😭😭😭

[hugepolecat3298]

ok so i saw these comments on mu’s wiki page last month and at the time it pissed me the hell off because they had the fucking GALL to call mu emotionally manipulative by ???? telling her story as she remembers it ???? while acknowledging at the same time that she’s literally a bullied 16-year-old + call yuno emotionally manipulative and a criminal even though she Literally Did Not Commit A Crime and was most likely. yeah. but i just now realised that the last bit applies much fucking better to mahiru than it does to yuno