#if any new folks are reading this that’s my tag for my conversion thoughts and other Jewish memes and such
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1/11/23
The absolute joy I experienced while throwing away my Christmas socks—knowing I will never have to spend another Christmas the same way ever again—freed me from the last dregs of fear in my mind about converting. I am thrilled to go to synagogue with my friend this Saturday :)
I wanted to go sooner, but I had a plan to visit family for the holidays and I didn’t want that fear looming over my first visit to schul since choosing to convert. Either way, life is easier and less scary now. It’s still hard and I am still so anxious, but I am also stronger now than I was before.
#em explores Judaism#if any new folks are reading this that’s my tag for my conversion thoughts and other Jewish memes and such#judaism#converting to judaism#thanks g d for helping me clean my room lol#it still feels so weird to have faith and use these words after coming from such a hurtful and hateful place#being a queer person in the south who didn’t believe in Jesus#there was a lot of hate in places of religion#now I find I struggle to use the words in my own life#that’s something I immediately brought up to my rabbi when I had the first conversion conversation
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Welcome New Followers Post xiv
gonna make this bullet points of Things to Know because deadlines, but hi! welcome!
-this is not a jewish identity or a jumblr blog. i am a jewish person and a holocaust historian, so my content often overlaps with those realms of tumblr
-this is first and foremost a public history blog. public history and public historians do history for the public. we're passionate about transmitting complex historical topics from the academe to the people, and we're in constant (one-sided lmao) conversation with entities such as: film writers and producers, textbook writers, government bodies, journalists, etc regarding the construction of public memory, and the responsibilities that entails
-you don't have to ask if something is ok to reblog. I appreciate the thought, but unless I turn off reblogs or specifically ask people not to engage in certain ways, you're fine, that said:
-I do see and read all tags, replies, and rbs. I consider them public, and I often respond to them as new posts. If you want to engage with me and don't want others to see, then send me an ask which includes the words "please respond privately"
-You can should disagree with me and tell me when you think I'm wrong! Now, I won't lie, years of existing as a young-appearing hyper feminine (i like skirts and bows and sparkly shoes it is what it is) female, Jewish historian have made me defensive and bitey af, and I often misread neutral tones as "coming for me" tones and respond in kind. I apologize for when/if that happens to you, and I assure that, once I realize you're not coming at me in bad faith, I will feel horribly guilty.
-There is a learning curve here. I don't have any desire to gatekeep my blog (it's the opposite tbh), but I do use high level terms which can have multiple meanings in different contexts. I actively try to avoid using impenetrable academic jargon in this space, but sometimes that jargon is the only appropriate phrasing available. In those cases, I urge you to do some research and poke around and then, if you still don't understand what I mean, DM me.
-I am a white, American woman. I am actively anti-racist, and anti-bigotry in general, but there will be times when I do or say something clueless or privileged. If you see that and you have the energy, please tell me! I want this blog to be a welcome place for all,* and I appreciate call-outs as an opportunity for (un)learning.
-Building on that, this is an anti-bigotry space which I'd like people of all demographics and identities to feel comfortable engaging with.* That said, I don't play nice when some random corner of tumblr rolls up in here and barfs their shit all over my posts.
-I am a cringe millennial. I started this blog in 2011, when I was 21, had just finished college, before I'd heard back from any graduate schools, and before I had much resembling a career. I am currently 34. It's fine. But a lot of you are in your teens and 20s and are just starting on your careers, so like, please don't negatively compare yourselves to me or get self-deprecating when/if you want to contact me. We all learn and achieve at different paces and that's ok.
-My book, The Girl Bandits of the Warsaw Ghetto, will be released in Fall 2025. Trust me I will be screaming from the rooftops and you will not miss the announcements lmao.
-If I don't reply to an ask or a DM, it's not because I hate you. There are 800 reasons why I may not reply, and none of them are personal.
and finally
-I am not your Good Leftist Anti-Zionist Jew. I am not here as a rhetorical cudgel for left-wing anti-Semites who seek out Jews with politics similar to mine to then use as a weapon against other Jewish folks. Don't fucking do it.
*That does not mean that everything I post here will make you feel comfortable. History isn't supposed to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes, it can and should make you feel actively uncomfortable, because that discomfort/cognitive dissonance means you're learning (keep your cognitive dissonance temper tantrums tf away from me, tho). It does mean that I, as an individual, want you all to feel that this is a space where you are welcome to learn and ask questions.
i tried to use bullet points to keep this short, and i failed miserably. on brand.
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Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect
Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.
Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.
People Like Getting Their Flowers
If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.
Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:
It’s a Conversation
I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.
I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.
I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.
I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).
We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.
I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.
I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.
I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.
I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.
Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.
Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.
In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.
I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:
Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every
Isn’t It Just More Fun?
I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.
I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.
This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.
I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.
Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do
So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.
If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!
Thank you as always for coming to my post.
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Dipper, I need the wonderful opinions of you and your fellow anons because I feel like I’m going crazy, but I know I can’t be the only one who feels like this. I just finished season 2 of HOTD yesterday because I stopped watching it because I got bored. At that point, I was only watching it to see Jace (and hoping to see Cregan again), but I gave up because it just didn’t seem worth my time to watch anymore.
(⬇️Contains a few spoilers for Season 2 ⬇️)
Fast-forward to today, I got jumped on the interwebs because I said I didn’t like season 2 of HOTD and that I feel like there’s definitely a possibility (maybe not a huge one but still a possibility) that HOTD is going to have a downfall similar to GOT. (This conversation started because of the news that GRRM is planning to release his thoughts on HOTD and we all know he probably has a LOT of critiques to share. I got tagged by a mutual of mine in a post talking about this and they asked me for my opinion in the comments on the second season of HOTD because they hadn’t finished. I stated my opinion, people saw it, and then I got dogpiled.)
I get wanting to be defensive of the show because we love the characters and the actors are phenomenal, but my problem is that the writing was just not it for season 2. It was slow, they had the same conversations 100 different times, most of what happened in this season could have been compiled into like 3 or 4 episodes. Season 1 was action-packed and kept people thoroughly entertained. The writers completely lost their rhythm with the pacing in this season, which is a big no-no in any fictional series (novel, show, film, etc.), especially speculative fiction. You have to keep a similar pace or you’ll lose your audience’s attention or disappoint them entirely (especially if you slow down) because they’re expecting the same pacing.
Also, it felt like fan fiction, tbh. There were so many things that felt out of place and, therefore, felt forced because, just like the GOT writers, the HOTD writers are not developing certain aspects they’re trying to showcase on screen enough for these things to make sense within the context of what they’ve already shown us. For example, Daemon and his mommy’s back-shots of doom vision (did not make sense whatsoever because there was no prior information that would suggest this even needing to happen), Rhaenrya and Mysaria’s kiss (should have been better developed but ended up feeling forced/rushed to most people), Daenerys going mad (could have been done well but was rushed and poorly executed), etc.
I also think the writers are trying to pander to the viewers too much instead of trying to write an actually good show, you know? They’re also trying to hint at things present in the books without fully fleshing them out in any way within the show’s storyline, while simultaneously steering entirely away from the canon events in the books. This did nothing but make it hard to follow for not only the folks that only watch the show but also the folks that read the books because now people are speaking about things that are canon in the books and wondering if they apply to GOT and HOTD. It’s all a mess. (For example: the antlered figure in one of Daemon’s visions. Most people who only watched the show think it’s foreshadowing of the Baratheons taking the throne, but people who read the books believe that it could be one of the Green Men, which is a member of a mysterious order that maintains the Isle of Faces at the center of God's Eye by Harrenhal. This is, of course, something only people who have extensive knowledge of the ASOIAF world and history/read the books, would know.)
Idk, maybe I have a different outlook on this because I am a writer and I don’t just do it for fun. I’ve published quite a few pieces of my own, almost all of which have been speculative fiction (sci-fi and fantasy) and I’m currently writing a fantasy series, so I know what it takes to make a storyline work properly. I tried to explain this to the people who were dogpiling me, but they just discredited my experience because I’m only 18. So, in their words, ‘I don’t really know what I’m talking about’ even though I’ve been writing stories, mainly speculative fiction, since I was in fucking grade school (can you tell I’m a lil pissed about this part?). Anywho, this show just feels like it’s gonna spiral into something that is reminiscent of the catastrophe that was seasons 7 and 8 of GOT if the writers don’t get it together. (I really hope it doesn’t.)
I’m so sorry that this is so long but I really had to get this rant out of my head and I felt like this was a safe place to do that.
please. lets fucking talk about it.
@rise-my-angel made a post about this that really hit the nail on the head about hotd’s main problem -> post here
hotd uses its visuals as a crutch for bad writing. that is its (main) problem. early seasons got was so great in the way it didn’t have half the budget hotd had, but it felt so much more high quality. some of got’s best moments were it’s dialogue, where it was just two people in a room talking (for example petyr & varys in the throne room)
hotd doesn’t have half of the storyline it thinks it does, which, there’s multiple different reasons for this. not letting morally grey characters be morally grey, always having to have a justification for their actions when most of their actions were simply unjustified, delving from being a book adaptation of the downfall of house targaryen to changing everything to become its own stand-alone tv show etc etc. but, as i & mimi said, it’s main problem is it’s visuals.
the dragons, the actors, and got season 7/8 are the only thing keeping the show alive.
in got drogon viserion & rhaegal were three dragons with the exact same design and just different (not even book accurate) colors. the shows main focus was drogon while putting rhaegal and viserion on the back burners, and not really highlighting much about the dragons in general. while in hotd, we get so many different dragon designs, sounds/roars/noises, and personalities. everyone was so interested in the dragons in got, but they just didn’t handle it right, and in hotd, it’s dragons dragons dragons!! all you could ever want, step right up folks & look away from the mess that is this show.. OH LOOK DRAGON FIGHT 😍 hotd visuals are amazing, and we get everything we didn’t get about dragons in got, but that’s literally the problem.
& the actors are wonderful. emma d’arcy, phia sabian, fabian frankel, matt smith, harry collett, etc. they’re all outstanding in their performances, and the butchery is frankly an insult to them and these characters that they’ve grown to love & understand. oh look, olivia cookes amazing performance🙂↕️ btw daemon has a piss kink LIKE WHAT
and, the end of got was an obvious disaster. people are still (rightfully) angry and hurt about it, and they want something like hotd. something to sit down and watch on sundays, and enjoy the asioaf universe again. like yeah, season two’s bad, but not as a bad as 7/8 got… so there’s that. got left so much unfinished that people are hoping to consume in hotd, and it’s just not working. but, it keeps people tuned in, because got is finished with an ending thats un-re-watchable. in conclusion, people miss their show, and watch hotd as an attempted bandaid to put on the gunshot wound.
hotd is poopy, and i think (as anon said) over time people will recognize it more & more. but for now, it’s our bandaid, and it’s unfortunately the only one we’ve got.
#dippys asks#game of thrones#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd critical#hotd season 2#hotd criticism#got#got season 8
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Hey, I’m just wondering what your request rules are?? Like stuff you’re comfortable writing!!
(Also I LOVE your Regina George series I’m LIVING for it)
Hi! This is a really great question that I totally never would of thought of addressing so I really appreciate you asking it and making me take time to consider it. (also thank you so much for reading I'm so freaking happy you're enjoying it🫶🏼)
I'm just gonna make this like an overall guide that I'll put tags on so it can be referenced by other folks if needed.
I'm most comfortable writing stories and scenarios that can reflect real life situations.
So I'm very comfortable with writing stories that can involve some heavy topics like:
-Mental Health and Mental Health Disorders
-Substance Use
-Break ups/Divorce
-Self Harm
-Abuse (mental, emotional, physical)
I think those are all important topics and they're all topics I care about so they're something I would write about respectfully
I also really love writing stories that are fluffy and happy, so as long as they don't cross into anything like fantasy, I don't think I would have any limitations on that. (No hate to fantasy creators. I just think there is a lot of lore that goes into certain things that I could never do justice)
I'm not opposed to writing smut, but my approach with it is I usually use it more as like a small little bonus to the story rather than basing the whole story around a sex scene. I think I'm better at writing shorter excerpts than full length stories when it comes to the topic of sex. Only because I'm too detail oriented and that doesn't always work out of me in those types of stories. So it can be suggested and I'll do my best lol
I absolutely will NOT write:
- I will not write/describe a rape scene in graphic detail
- No underage characters. I prefer everyone minimally be 18+ no matter what type of story
-I wouldn't do murder/blood/gore. Like just nothing really gross
-I'm not a kink shamer, but also don't go too crazy with anything if sex is suggested. Getting a little freaky is cool like suggestions def don't have to be vanilla, but y'know, no knife play or things like that lol
But also like anything can be suggested and if it's not something I dig, the worst thing that will happen is I just won't write it and anyone is more than welcome to like check in with me on the status of their request and we can have a conversation (in private or not depending on comfort level of that person) and talk about why and if they want to make any changes to it afterwards then that is totally cool
Hopefully I answered the question okay, but if not don't hesitate to ask any follow up questions. This is my first time opening up requests so it's all new to me
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That is such a good post about the fandom. Honestly, I think a lot of fandoms have the problem we do, which is a few people deciding that their personal head canons are fact and reality. Like 'my verse is canon' is usually meant as a joke, but a small yet very loud minority constantly proclaim that their own interpretations (some of which are...out there lol), their non-canon ships, their personal wishlist etc are reality because he or she SAID so, and it's hard for the rest of us not to be like "i mean, imagine and daydream whatever you want, but that's actually NOT what happened on the actual show." I'm not sure I'm explaining this well, but basically a few fans insist that 2+2 is five and then freak out when people politely point out otherwise. Maybe it's because I'm Tumblr Old like you are lol and fandom in our day was more analyzing character' personalitiess, trading ideas about favorite and least favorite storylines etc rather than fixating on stuff like "CHARACTER A IS GENDERFLUID AND IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH TEN OTHER PEOPLE AND IS A DEMIROMANTIC PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I SAID SO" when it's like but, no, they're not, so maybe just create an original character if that's what you want to write about lol.
Thanks! I guess a lot of us are feeling similar things right now.
Yep, I (think!) I understand what you're saying. We're on the same page. Folks can do whatever they want on this silly little site, of course - imagining different sexualities for the characters or pairing them with characters they were not romantically linked to in canon, inventing their own 'universes' that are based on the source material - these things don't hurt anybody. Let them be.
I think the rub comes in when the rest of us do not take their ideas seriously or do not agree with them - which of course, we're under no obligation to do. Sorry, but I don't think every interpretation is equally valid. I don't want to read about your OC/self-insert characters when I peruse the T70S and T90S tag, I want to read about the characters from the show I like. I do think everyone should be able to express their own thoughts and ideas on their own blog, but when one makes public posts on a public blog using fandom tags, others are going to respond. Those are literally the kinds of interactions this site was designed to foster.
The good news for me continues to be that the vast majority of folks I've interacted with in this fandom are good, creative people and even when we see things differently we can often have great conversations anyway. I hope newer fans aren't driven away by a couple of bad apples. I've only encountered a few blogs who are aggressive towards those with dissenting opinions or who are openly hostile to any good-faith discussion, and frankly, I've blocked them and I wish I had done it sooner. We do have the ability to curate our own fandom experience. I think folks hesitate to block because they don't want to be impolite, but I think it's far worse to continue seeing that person's content, become angered by it, and send nasty anons (I've seen a little bit of this happening and it makes me upset). If it's not for you, unfollow! If you keep seeing content you don't want to see, block! Now all that stuff is gone from my dash/tags and I only see the things I want to see - fan fiction, (canon) character analysis, excitement for the new season of That '90s Show. 🥰
#thanks for the ask!#that 70s show#that '70s show#that 90s show#that '90s show#fandom#my essays#ask#answered#anon
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This is something I'm actually very curious about, if we see an influx of omegaverse-themed bls in the next year or two post Pit Babe, would you consider adding it to the OGMMTV watchlist?
STARRY, hello friend!
I'm gonna tag @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @grapejuicegay, and @neuroticbookworm for awareness as I write this, because I've relied on them for background on omegaverse, and I am in no way a fully-informed historian on this sub-genre and its fan fiction origins. And if any omegaverse fans/historians out there are reading this -- I do very much encourage your feedback, as I'm here to learn!
The short answer to your question, Starry, is no, ha. I have been strongly encouraged to NOT add it to the official list/syllabus, but I do plan on giving Pit Babe a heavy honorable mention in my Old GMMTV Challenge wrap-up posts later this year. Here's why.
Because I'm still so new to BL -- what I'm trying to get/understand, from a macro contextual perspective, is how Asian BL became the dramatic genre home to this sub-genre, besides the fact that BL conveniently asks for same-sex male couplings in its art. Are there omegaverse works, outside of fan fiction AND outside of Asian BL, that exist? I don't think so? But I'm not sure, I'm not an expert here.
Another reason why I'm gunshy about omegaverse is its underpinnings in misogyny (the link is only a list of personal blog essays, but ones worth scrolling through), which is not something I'd necessarily want to celebrate vis à vis the OGMMTVC. (@grapejuicegay, you've helped me to understand the history of this.)
One question that I've tossed to friends -- and, funnily, I ask this as a cishet mom with my rights intact -- is whether or not a male/male pregnancy is something that actually gets celebrated from an LGBTQ+-rights perspective. If I am correct (and I may not be, so fandom, please chime in here), omegaverse works have often ignored the potential reality of trans-male pregnancies. This strikes me as quite the oversight from an LGBTQ+ rights perspective -- and as a mom, I'm very aware that at least in America, health care options are improving for trans men who would like to explore pregnancy. So.... could we celebrate this potentiality in art, generally speaking?
I don't know that omegaverse is the answer to that question -- likely that's a heavy no. But there's a lot that I don't know about omegaverse, the macro conversations about rights implications, and so on.
What I do know is that the misogynistic overtones of omegaverse's origins concern me enough to not get to into this at the moment. But I am absolutely paying attention to the hype around Pit Babe, and would love to know if Pit Babe is actually going there by way of potentially engaging this conversation about misogyny... or not.
Starry, thanks for bringing this up! And I welcome thoughts from around the way, because I know that Pit Babe is bringing this up for a lot of folks. I'm hoping to hear from some folks, because I'd love to refer back to this conversation when the OGMMTVC projects ends (...for now!) later this year.
[BTW: I'm also aware that the potentially first (?? -- I need a fact-check on this) omegaverse anime from Japan, Tadaima Okaeri, is airing later this year.]
#thanks for the ask!#omegaverse#the history of omegaverse#misogyny in omegaverse#pit babe#pit babe the series#the old gmmtv challenge#ogmmtvc#omegaverse history
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hello folks!! it's been a great while hasn't it? i've been out of tumblr for so long and im trying to catch up! after making my mind, i decided to work on this account a bit more and bring new updates regarding my content!
the account was made entirely to entretain myself writing my silly ittle fanfics but with the time spent here i felt like it became a chore rather than a hobby, so i'm changing that! i will be back to writing and this time there will be no schedules (not that i had any to begin with LMAO), no more requests and no frequent writing becuase i'm having a busy life now and i write when inspiration comes, so that can vary a lot.
some of you may or may have not seen me reblogging things from time to time, that was just me trying to get into tumblr and engage with my interests again.
i will start using this page as it was originally intended: a fan account to talk freely about my interests and share my honest thoughts about them! which i was lowkey doing but i was always afraid to post something new because i was so worried about everyone's opinions, always attentive to likes and engagement, constantly checking if there are bots or creepy people around; non of these things matter to me anymore, i just want to have fun in this site like everyone else and release the tension i carry with almost anything i do with my life, i always find it hard to not be tense in any environment so i think it's time i start being myself fully and enjoy my little interests because genuinely, it's not that deep, i'm doing no harm while doing the things that i love.
so! with that being said, this account will no longer be constantly active, i will only appear to share stuff, write something every now and then and make this a comfort space for me. also i'll delete all my reblogs as much as i can to clear my feed (and re-tag my posts and reblogs)
as for my mutuals, i'm afraid since i'm not going to be as active as i used to that if you text me or interact with me i won't answer quickly nor be super invested in the conversation :( i appreciate you greatly but i'm not gonna be using as much media as i used to, i hope this doesn't make our interactions uncomfortable or meaningless. i wish to catch up with you y'all anyways.
with all that being said, im thankful you read all the way through here and i hope life is going wonderful for you, and, if not, keep fighting because it does get better<3
love yourselves and take care of yourselves
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1, 9, 17, 21 for fandom asks? 💕💕💕
1. My favorite thing about the fandom
All the fanworks that folks in it create! Fics, art, metas, even music. I love the creativity fandom generates and fosters, and the connections and relationships they can lead to.
9. Is there anything in general I wish more people in the fandom talked about?
Hmm. There's so much covered in AtLA fandom and in Zutara fandom that it's hard to pinpoint. I'd really love to see more visual media analysis, actually. There is a ton of narrative analyses—which I adore—but not so many on things like how a scene is framed, the elements in it, the music used, the colors, the positioning of the characters, etc. I know @marsreds (apologies for the tag) did an excellent meta some years ago on color theory in AtLA, and there were a few others whose URLs are since defunct and I cannot accurately recall that discussed some other visual aspects, but it's something that's not my forte that I would love to see more of.
17. A fandom take I didn’t think about until I saw it, and I fully agree with
There have been a lot surrounding the intersectionality of Katara being parentified not just as a teen herself but as a POC teen that I had never considered before because those are things I can never experience, and I truly appreciate the insight into them for me to see the nuances of that position she was forced to step into by circumstance. Honestly, I feel like almost every day I read a new meta, I am introduced to a perspective or analysis or interpretation I hadn't thought of before or considered but can wholly see after reading. 21. An event or a conversation within the fandom I remember vividly
There have been a few, but one that I recall quite vividly was a piece of fanart drawn of Zuko and Katara as a redone scene from Disney's Pocahontas, where there were just… so many people dogpiling onto the OP and accusing them of a lot of racist and colonialist things and calling them as such as well, and it turned out that the original artist who posted the fanart was Italian and completely unaware of the problematic history and propagandizing of colonialist retellings of Pocahantas/Amonute/Matoaka and was only familiar with the Disney movie and thought a particular scene would make a cute redraw. It was just astonishing to me how everyone in the thread just assumed the OP was promoting problematic ideology. Not only was it astonishingly US-centric thinking, but the OP clearly stated early on that they were Italian and had no idea, but the bullying kept on happening in the reblog chain.
That's probably one of the only times I got directly involved in fandom drama, because I hopped in to speak up for OP and reassure them that this wasn't actively harming anyone like a lot of the harassment was trying to claim. They messaged me later thanking me for saying what I did for and to them, and that they never intended any malice (of course). Fortunately, the drama didn't last very long. I hope that OP is doing well and still making art that brings them joy.
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I don't really know any characters from your story besides Vellatra herself, so how about #1, #8, and #9 for the most important character who is not her?
Oh dear! You know what, I'd never really considered who was "second-most important"! So I did some pondering... and mulled it over with my advisor and confidante (@reneethegreatandpowerful), and have come to the conclusion that Zac is second. HOWEVER! The story has a few different groups it follows, with their own side plots and stuff, so I have also included perhaps one of the more interesting folks from each of these groups. Thanks for the tough question! Those are the ones that help me fine tune stories. 😁 And now, your answers.
(Apologies - I committed the cardinal sin of using a "skin color" marker in this drawing, thereby turning him into Donald Trump. Sorry! 😅)
Q: Full name and occupation?
A: "I'm Zachary James O'Connor. Most people just call me Zac. I'm in training to eventually join the army in the Merfaen tiz Ornaru - if I don't find a way back to Earth first, that is!"
Q: What do you do for fun?
A: "My favorite pastime is playing video games! Especially fantasy swordplay stuff, like Zelda, Xenoblade, and Final Fantasy. They don't have electronics in this world though, so nowadays I tag along with Aileev and get into mischief with her, mostly." 😆 (Author's note: Aileev is Vellatra's teenage firecracker of a daughter. I'll have to introduce her sometime soon!)
Q: What is your greatest achievement, and why do you think so?
A: "I learned Flunibu, the Merfaen language, to a conversational level in a couple of weeks. Never thought I'd learn a new language that fast!"
Q: Full name and occupation?
A: "Vexina Katrina Fini. I'm a specialist in the natural sciences, and at the moment I'm on a government funded mission to investigate some strange phenomena near the edge of our solar system. ... Admittedly I've been pretty sidetracked lately! But Silen Fah is full of interesting new flora and fauna to discover, so I'm not too upset." 😁
Q: What do you do for fun?
A: "I enjoy reading up on the most recent scientific discoveries, and mulling over the unexplained mysteries of the universe. Did you know, for example, that nobody's yet come up with a satisfactory theory for how the mammoths were frozen so quickly and preserved so perfectly? The temperatures and conditions you'd need-"
Q: Ahem, next question! What is your greatest achievement and why do you think so?
A: "By a long shot, the discovery of this new world! No earthly scientist has ever been able to catalogue so many new species and geological formations as I have, and all thanks to a happy accident on our travels through space! I worry, though, that no one will ever find OUT about my achievement. I haven't found a way back home, or a way to send my findings to Earth.... But hope is not lost and I won't give up!"
Q: Full name and occupation?
A: "I am Fabian, son of Henry. I am a squire for Sir Galahad of Camelot."
Q: What do you do for fun?
A: "I enjoy practicing swordplay, hunting, and riding horseback when the time may be spared."
Q: What is your greatest achievement and why?
A: "I have done little worthy of renown as of yet, but I am only a youth. I trust that, in time, great things shall be done. Perhaps I shall become a knight of King Arthur's court? Slay wicked beasts? Save fair maidens? What the Lord willeth, I stand ready to do."
This is the second time I've typed all this out... sure hope Tumblr doesn't delete it all again! This is getting tedious. 😵
Anyway, it was fun to figure all this out! Thanks again for the question!
#silen fah#zac#zachary oconnor#vexina#vexina fini#miss fini#fabian#fabian son of henry#oc#ocs#thanks for the ask!#ask game#my art
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neil clarified that it's not the fans he's upset with and that all he asks for is for people to either stop showing the leak or to at least mark it and the conversation around it as spoilers, which is more than reasonable. i still can't believe that what is possibly the biggest moment for the fandom has gotten out like this and that people are so insensitive when it comes to not putting up any warnings. i was hit by the image on twitter this morning and i'm still unhappy, hours later, about something that usually would've brought me immense joy, because the show means so much to me and i wanted to experience the season in the way it was intended. maybe just don't say that you're not going reveal the spoiler only to then talk about it in a way that leaves no questions. you can tag for potential spoilers on tumblr and there is also a read more option, so you're able to put things under a cut. it takes so little effort to be more considerate.
(Grouping all of the Anons that I got in response to my post together. Not included in this array is another Anon that I am not posting by request, but the tone is very similar to Anon #1, so that should give you an idea of things.)
Okay, so...wow. Obviously there are a lot of feelings around what happened, which is understandable. But what I'm a bit taken aback by is the seeming lack of personal accountability in a few of these responses. At no point was anyone obligated to continue reading my post if they thought a spoiler was about to be shared, and I find it peculiar that some folks are getting angry at me because they decided to employ critical thinking skills while reading my post (and also, why would you keep reading if you didn't want to see a spoiler but thought one might be forthcoming?).
There's also the notion that The Thing by its very nature is a strange thing to categorize as a spoiler because it shouldn't be surprising or a "twist" for these characters to be in a confirmed relationship...unless Neil was hoping to score brownie points with it after all of the "queer-baiting" accusations from last season. But blaming me for somehow adding to the sturm und drang around the spoiler news is not on, because while I realize I am an easy target (certainly easier than Amazon, at any rate), all of the above is also failing to take into account that I did not actually share the spoiler in my post.
That being said, I am certainly glad that Neil did indeed clarify (on Tumblr and Twitter) that he is not upset with the fans. The problem is, by the time he did so it was already too late, as the post he reblogged had received much more traction than the follow-up(s) and fans were already taking his word as chapter and verse and turning on other fans. This was also another point of concern, seeing how intense the parasocial relationship between some of the fans and Neil seems to be. As I've said previously, it is absolutely understandable for Neil to be upset/angry about what happened and we can, as fans, say that his wishes as the creator should be respected.
But where I saw things go way over the top was what you mentioned, Anon #3. People seemingly breaking down and falling over themselves to apologize to Neil, as if we are his friends whom he would have come over with a cup of tea or a bottle of wine to cheer him up after a bad breakup. So it was that particular response that I felt was really disproportionate to the events that occurred.
Anon #2, the link you shared does work, and I had to laugh at the highlighted comment, as well as Neil's original one, which now seems to have aged like milk left out in the hot sub-Saharan sun for an entire week. In a way, we can definitely say that Neil did warn us, and what he said came true--that if one hung around the official channels, little bits and things would be released into the wild. Amazon very much did fuck up, but it's hard not to find the hilarity (and irony) of them fucking up in the most Good Omens-y, "incompetent angel and demon losing the Antichrist" way possible.
To your point, Anon #3, the leak happened because a 2-frame clip was included in a compilation video that Amazon posted that included clips from multiple shows. But it's for this very reason that most fans didn't think or realize that it was a leak in the first place. So I think you could classify it as a poorly done promo, because whether it was intentional or not (and goodness knows I've seen plenty of theories floating around as to which is the case), it still generated buzz and discussion around the show, which is what promotion of any kind is meant to do.
As you said, however...in the end, is this truly going to make anyone not watch the show? I was away/nonstop busy last week and weekend, so I haven't really had time to process everything, but now that it's sinking in, I am SO incredibly excited. While, yes, it would've been lovely to learn this information in the context of the show and I do understand people who feel disappointed due to this, I genuinely cannot imagine how this news could make the experience of GO 2 less joyful, or why any GO fan would not watch the show because of it. I also have posts from as far back as a year and a half ago alluding to these developments only as a possibility, and I'd very much like to reblog some of those just because of how amazingly/hilariously well they have aged.
With all of that in mind, as I stated previously, any posts I do make from here on out that allude to the spoiler even slightly will be tagged as such (with the tag #go2 spoilers), and will be placed under a "Keep Reading" cut. Because I know there are folks who are dying to talk about all this, whose excitement may have been tempered somewhat in the wake of the fallout but who I am sure are feeling elated and full of anticipation now more than ever.
So those are my thoughts on the follow-up to last week's fandom implosion. Hopefully I've addressed some of the concerns people have, and while I know I likely won't change anyone's mind, I have plenty of other feelings and thoughts to share that I hope folks will stay tuned for...
#anonymous#phantomstars24#reply post#good omens 2#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands#neil gaiman#go2 spoilers#trying to provide a balanced perspective#hopefully we can all chill out a bit from here on in#please let next week be better#fandom woes#discourse
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multiples of 2 for the price ask for yourself or any of your ocs (whichever is more comfy!)
Let's do me, Nadji, + human Remi 😋
2. Do you like to use the term queer for yourself? Or just LGBT, etc?
Yeh. It gives me room to just fuck around and let things come and go as they please.
Nadji doesn't. Not that it hasn't resonated with him, he's just never thought about it. And he doesn't feel the need to. He doesn't do a lot of research when it comes to labels, so it usually just boils down to "I be fucking." Or nothing at all. Nobody ever knows who he's actually interested in until they know.
Remi does identify as queer. They're heavy into queer theory, reads all the time, keeps up with the discourse, the labels and new language. Like, they really bout they shit. They see it as an opportunity for folks to ask them "what does that mean to you?" and then they personalize it (similarly to me).
4. Are you "out" to your family and friends?
Me: Yeah, sure.
Nadji: What that mean
Remi: I had no interest in coming out, but they know.
6. (If you're out) do you wish you came out sooner? Later? Or was it the right time?
Nah. If it was up to me, I would have told no one. Coming out is an annoying concept, especially with my experience. I'd rather just let folks find out or just say "yeah, call me that. end of discussion," if we're talking about gender-affirming things like name changes.
Nadji just came home with a dude (more like a lineup of dudes) one day and let his folks figure it out, lol. I think the only person he had a conversation with was his momma, Nadie, and she initiated it. But, it was casual, and her goal was to talk about sex ed so wasn't much of a convo. Nadie is also bisexual so she wouldn't make a big deal out of it anyway. Now, does he wish that he brought dudes he was dating around sooner or later? Ask him and he'd joke and say he wouldn't have brought them around at all, but I think that Nadji has a lot of guilt for how he's treated past partners since he's on the aro spectrum and didn't know what was up until much later. A lot of people just called him a player. They still do. He tries not to think about it.
Remi told everyone about their name change during the summer before their sophomore year of high school. It was a non-negotiable. Either you call me by my name, and respect my pronouns or we not talking (Remi: except for Mama). They have no regrets when they did it. It was the right time because they has figured it out. Plain and simple.
8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:
Me: Outchea
Nadji: Nigga
Remi: It changes weekly with producer tags. Right now it's Mustardonthebeathoe. (Please click the link, I'm crying.)
10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you're cis or trans):
Me: Already answered.
Nadji is a cis man, but he's had a time with gender growing up. People often thought he was a girl when he was little (his hair used to be real long and he has wild lashes), and he's been called pretty his whole life, but then he got that stocky frame and people were like you real macho. He just vibes. He wouldn't be aware of this but he gets a lot of gender euphoria from not having to think about gender at all. He can just be a clown in whatever way that manifests. Also, when P-Funk comes on, he feels it too? Very specific but the funk is just affirming like that, lol.
Remi like wearing those close-fitted tees with the circle neck and real short sleeves with baggy pants. It always does it. Or just a good ole white beater. They also like when they're doing things that makes them feel more connected to their body. They love handy work, love lifting things. Also, wrestling/play-fighting.
12. Name some queer artists/bands or songs you like most:
Imma let my babies have it because I listen to everything the listen to.
Nadji: frank ocean, tyler the creator, steve lacy, blood orange, anddd omar apollo.
Remi: takes a deep breath in moses sumney, serpentwithfeet, cupcakke, mayal, closegood, meshell ndegeocello, jamila woods, swsh, bbymutha, sienna liggins, intro (kenny green was bi), big mama thorton, adrian kain, baby tate, jackie shane, I could go on but I will stop.
14. How do you think other factors like neurodivergency or upbringing have impacted your identity?
It all affects it. I could be here all day talking about this, but I'll let them have it.
Nadji: few seconds delay Oh shit, you mean me or- points to Remi who uses they/them pronouns
Remi: slides in front of Nadji so they're completely blocking him As a black autistic arospec anti-fascist they/them dyke (sights to me nodding in the background) there are many things that work together to help me define my queerness. I don't see it as one identity in the middle with the other identities connected to it by branches. They all exist within, without, around, and beside each other, always in harmony. That is all.
16. Do you attend Pride in person every year?
I used to, but stopped once it got really crowded, intense, and commercialized.
Nadji: Hell yeah. Wouldn't be the same without ya boy, you feel me starts smiling
Remi: as soon as the question is asked No.
18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?
I have no idea how old I was, but it was over the age of 21 lol. I went with a cousin.
Nadji was 20. He went with his art crew.
Remi went once with a friend once the parade was finishing up, stayed for like 20 minutes, if even that, and dipped. Like, dipped forevermore.
20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?
At times I don't, but generally, yeah. Also, the more that I grow into myself, the more I don't mind not fitting in. I've been in a lot of spaces where I've felt and been excluded because of how I look. A lot of times it's been because of white queers not perceiving me as queer-presenting enough. Which is so funny because the events I go to are usually said to be for queer and trans people of color, (and usually said to be free for trans black folx) which I am both. White people often annoy me. This is not new information.
Nadji doesn't care until someone makes him hyperaware of it. It's more so about him feeling left out, period. That's him in any space since he likes the attention.
Remi doesn't, but they've never really cared. And it's not because they're not embraced in queer spaces. It's more so that the way people embrace them isn't embracing them, it's an idea of them. And phew, that is loaded. Perhaps I'll talk more about it another time.
22. How do you usually celebrate Pride month?
Being outside, lol. But living in New York while also having an overnight job is making that difficult at the moment. This is the first year that I'm like loud loud about it because I'm like....openly trans. Majority of my family knows, I'm in the process of getting my name changed legally, and I feel really secure in who I am. I bought my first flag pendant necklace and that's like huge for me. So, yeah. Definitely a really important pride month.
Nadji: We outside. (For the folks who need it, this can mean many of things. And Nadji indeed means all the things.)
Remi: With my folx. (As long as Remi has people they love around, they good.)
24. Do you practice any religion, if so how does it play into your LGBT identity? Do you feel welcomed by your spiritual community?
I don't feel like sharing that right now.
Nadji, nah. He definitely believes in divinity and it has a place in his life, but he hasn't explored it.
Remi, my babyyyy. Yeah, Black American folk magic plays a huge part in their everyday and their identity. As a non-human, which is what they originally started as, they have they ability to communicate with spirits and I associate them with Hoodoo and its practices. Their spiritual community is very few actually. But they don't care because that's not their concern. It never felt like one.
26. How do you feel about the term partner rather than husband/girlfriend/etc?
We loooove it.
28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?
I experience sexual attraction, and I'm arospec.
Nadji and Remi both have the same thing going on, but at different capacities.
30. Are you monogamous or polyamorous?
Nadji: chuckles
Remi and I in unison: Relationship anarchy.
32. Do you do arts and crafts? Post a pic of a project you've done:
I NEED TO DO THIS FOR NADJI AT A LATER TIME.
34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?
Anti-trans legislation stresses me out so...yeah.
Nadji: Y'all heard that new Khamari? It's fire.
Remi: shrugs Burn it all and start over.
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I posted 1,492 times in 2022
That's 635 more posts than 2021!
561 posts created (38%)
931 posts reblogged (62%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@hufflepuffprincesse
@struggling-with-space
@some-lovely-day
@fanboygarcia
I tagged 1,256 of my posts in 2022
Only 16% of my posts had no tags
#queue me in - 551 posts
#kylie rambles - 310 posts
#kylie answers - 185 posts
#top gun maverick - 146 posts
#same mistakes - 136 posts
#bradley rooster bradshaw - 54 posts
#top gun maverick fics - 49 posts
#bradley rooster bradshaw fic - 41 posts
#bradley bradshaw - 41 posts
#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader - 40 posts
Longest Tag: 118 characters
#me reading my wip like they’re going to have magically written themselves and then being upset when i start to hate it
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
if only (bradley “rooster” bradshaw)
a/n: i’m not sure if i love the name of this one but she stumped me folks. hope you enjoy! it’s a plus size!reader fic because sometimes you gotta self-indulge
summary: (plus size!reader) if only Rooster would like a girl like you. if only.
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist
warnings: this was supposed to be plus-size!reader but it’s not really explicitly mentioned until the very end, swearing, insecurities, reader thinks she is less important than she actually is and doesn’t realize her worth, angst with a happy ending, dude wtf is this title idek, i write self-indulgent fics only, idiots in love, some parts of this are vague on purpose,
word count: 7,447
It’s not like you weren’t used to men hitting on you. Working at the Hard Deck for as long as you had, you were used to the military men who’d drunkly come on to you, offering to take you home, and you’d mastered the art of avoiding their come-ons while also still making pretty good tips. And yeah, when a particularly attractive TOPGUN pilot would flirt with you, your cheeks would go red and you’d feel flattered. But you knew their type and were not a fool to know that almost all anyone’s flirting was fueled by alcohol, not for any genuine attraction. So when Rooster began to flirt with you as his presence became more common around the Hard Deck, you’d smile and blow him off. It was his type to be cocky and flirty; he did it to everyone. While he wasn’t like Hangman, who seemed to be breaking hearts every other week, you knew he’d been around. You weren’t his type. You’d seen the type of girls he’d go home with and it wasn’t you. And then the flirting turned into chats as he collected rounds for the group to genuine conversations on nights when the bar was slow. And then the genuine conversations turned into a genuine friendship. You weren’t sure when you fell so hard for the brunette but how could anyone blame you? He was genuine and sweet and a charmer... He stood out from all the other TOPGUN pilots. Still, it didn’t change that you would never be the girl he’d go after, so you kept your head down, enjoying the time you got with him, focused on your schooling, and your job. Penny often teased you about your not-so-subtle crush on the boy, but you’d bribed her and Amelia into silence. The last thing you needed was for news of it to get back to Maverick and then Rooster, and have to have the boy let you down gently. No, that just wouldn’t do.
And yet, you couldn’t shake the blush that rose on your cheeks every time he winked at you as he grabbed another round or when he’d tell you he was going to win that game of pool against Hangman for you. He was becoming a distraction in your life and you weren’t sure if you were welcome to it. You were nearing the end of your PhD program soon, knowing you were having to defend in front of the committee soon and thoughts of a hazel-eyed Navy fighter pilot were interrupting your day-to-day life. You longed for him when he wasn’t around, wanted him to be the one cheering you on, wanted him to be the one you were coming home to at night, and that’s when you knew your school-girl crush on him had turned into something more and you were fucked.
And okay, you’d be lying if you hadn’t thought about what life would be like with Rooster if he returned your feelings. About what it would be like to kiss him, to wake up to him in the mornings, to share your life with him.
But even if he’d like a girl like you, you knew, saw, what he had with Phoenix. You’d heard rumblings of their maybe-not-so-platonic friendship, knew the chemistry between the two. Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw could have any girl he wanted and he had picked the best of the best. What could you offer him that Phoenix could? Nothing. There was no better pair than the two of them and you were genuinely happy for him. So, you settled yourself for the friendship and conversations at the bar, trying to focus back on your upcoming PhD defense. And still, you couldn’t shake the feelings for him, the urge to just pull him and give him a kiss any time he flashed you that award-winning smile. And it was becoming a serious problem.
-
You heard the voices of the team before you saw them, changing in the bathroom of the Hard Deck before you had to leave. You wanted Penny’s approval on the outfit because you had no one else to ask and if you didn’t look good, she’d tell you. She knew how important this was to you. You took a deep breath as you left the bathroom, pulling the zipper up on your boot. “K Pen, what do you think about?” You asked, fiddling with the simple bracelet settled on your wrist. The squadron turned to face you and varying degrees of awe were settled on their faces. You pointedly didn’t look at Rooster, knowing you would turn firetruck red if you made eye contact with him. Maverick was settled behind the bar with Penny and he spoke first. “You look great, kid. Where you headed?” He asked.
“My PhD defense.” You answered, moving closer to the shot glass Penny had set out for you as you had gone to get changed for “liquid courage”. “You sure it’s not too much with the boots?” You asked, twisting nervously to look at them. Amelia shook her head.
"You look a boss...”
“Bitch.” You finished, smiling at her. “Okay, boss bitch. I can do that. Yeah, that’s-” You looked back up. “Yeah, I’m going to throw up.” Penny laughed and pointed at the shot. You tossed it back, cringing slightly at the taste of it. Sure, you were a bartender but you weren’t sure how these stupid pilots consumed alcohol like this.
“I didn’t know you were going for your PhD.” Payback said and you nodded, picking non-existent lint of your pants.
“Last five years of my life. And I’m freaking out.” You said, finally making eye contact with Rooster. He squeezed your shoulder encouragingly and you tried not to let the butterflies consume you.
“Why? You’re so smart, they’d be fools not to give it you.” You shrugged, trying not to let Rooster’s flattering words do even weirder things to your stomach.
“I mean, academia is all I’ve ever known. And what am I going to do after it’s over? And what if they don’t like my defense? What if they ask a question I can’t answer?” You watched nervously as Maverick poured you another shot and handed it you. The team protested as you threw it back, sticking your tongue out at the taste. That never got better. Rooster laughed at your face and okay, now you really felt like you were going to vomit.
“(Y/N), you have to give your defense in an hour, now is not the time to be taking shots.” Bob protested.
“I disagree, now’s the perfect time to be taking shots.” Hangman said. “Got to be celebrating the success of our favorite bartender here.”
“Easy there Bagman, they haven’t given me the degree yet.” He shrugged.
“They might as well have, we all know they’re going to have no choice.” You gave Hangman the side eye and he chuckled.
“Wait, does this mean our favorite bartender is quitting?” Fanboy said in shock. Penny chuckled.
“Don’t worry Garcia, she’s not leaving us just quite yet.” You leaned your head on the bar, groaning.
“They gotta give me the degree first.” Another groan. “And a job.” There was a beat of silence. “What does one even do with a PhD?” It was Maverick’s turn to chuckle.
“You tell us kid.” You groaned again, wishing you could disappear into the floor. Rooster leaned over and wrapped his arms around your frame and you didn’t lift your head off the table, for fear he’d see your blushing cheeks.
“What’re you doing Bradshaw?” He shrugged, not letting go of you.
“I’m giving you a good luck hug.” Oh. A good luck hug. Bradley Bradshaw was giving you a good luck hug. Fantastic. If you could fall any harder for him, you would’ve at that.
“Alright, you ready to go?” Penny asked, picking up her keys off the table. You nodded, but didn’t move. If you moved, then Bradley would let go and quite frankly, you’d like to stay like this forever. You could feel her eyes on you but you still didn’t move. “K, I’m leaving now with or without you. You sure you capable of not burning down the bar Mitchell?” She asked and you groaned, finally standing up. Rooster let go of you as Mav assured her they and Jimmy could hold down the fort while she was gone. Your stomach immediately fell once he let go of you but Phoenix quickly replaced him.
See the full post
839 notes - Posted June 27, 2022
#4
same mistakes pt. iii (bradley “rooster” bradshaw)
a/n: s/o to @roosterbrdshaw for inspiring a series that i’ve basically have entirely world built for for no reason other than i want to. this isn’t the last you’ll see of Rebel, her shenanigans with Coyote, or her relationship with Mav... that’s a promise. um, also i’m really nervous about this so i really hope i did her justice. i’ve seen all the comments and love both here and ao3, so even if i didn’t respond please know it warmed my heart to know everyone’s enjoyed this as much as i have
summary: in the aftermath of the mission, you realize it's time to stop running from your fears
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist
pt. i | pt. ii
folks who wanted to be tagged (yes ik it’s tradition to put this at bottom, no i don’t care): @calsjack @n3ssm0nique @alana4610 @xinsonyax @fangirl-316 @kyramaximoff
warnings: i named the team Iron Daggers because it sounded cool, this series should’ve just been titled ‘justice for Coyote’, seriously Coyote is a Good Best Friend, bullying/hazing, mentions of vomiting, Rebel struggles to communicate her feelings in a healthy way (wonder who she learned that from), insecurities, swearing, Hangman gets a little bit of a redemption arc, i guarantee this is not going to go in the way you’re expecting it to, please appreciate my usage of Chiquitita or i will cry, soft Rooster for the win,
word count: 8,007
You were cutting it too close. You knew that. Knew that Cyclone and Warlock would be in behind you in a matter of seconds but wasn’t that what you wanted? To be the last one in so no one had a chance to talk to you, ask you how your three weeks leave was before debriefing would start?
You barely slid down in the seat next to Coyote before Warlock was calling everyone to attention and you stood, trying to catch your breath. You avoided the pointed looks of Coyote, curious glances from Phoenix and Bob, a disgruntled look from your father, and a mildly concerned look from Rooster. “At ease.” Cyclone called and you all returned to your seats. “Welcome back, Iron Daggers. It’s good to see you all well and alive. I trust you had a good three weeks of leave?” There were short nods from around the room, murmurs of confirmation. You thought back on your three weeks of leave that started in the Mojave Desert and ended with you in the house in San Diego alone and sighed. “Alright, we won’t have certain mission specifics or assignment details for another week or so, so given the failings of the last mission we’re gonna begin with going over where this team could improve from the mistakes made on the last mission. From there, we’ll do training and mission patterns to help solve these errors. Captain Mitchell?” Your Dad nodded, taking that as his cue to begin.
“Good morning, Iron Daggers. It’s good to see you all back. As Admiral Simpson said, we’re gonna begin with going over our last mission this team flew together. Remember, the goal is to bring you all home alive. Let’s begin.”
-
You heard them before you saw them and made a split second decision to duck into the bathrooms before any of them saw you. Not unlike the Iron Daggers, the Green Vipers were a loud, rowdy bunch. Everyone shouted over each other, demanding a chance to speak, a chance tor regale the others with how they were the best. For you, someone who learned to show her talent in the sky and not with her words, you didn’t fare well among these men and women. You were grateful Coyote saw something in his wingman his fellow squadron members couldn’t but without him, you would’ve asked for re-assignment a long time ago. The Green Vipers, particularly Raven and Shadow, prided themselves on pushing out pilots who couldn’t hang. Which is exactly why you wouldn’t ever let them know you were here, albeit hiding in the bathroom, heart pounding. You were only minutes ahead of the Iron Daggers and then there it was-
“Coyote!” Came Raven’s piercing voice. “Man, how have you been?” You heard the chatter through labored breaths as Coyote talked to his old squadron, and then introduced the Iron Daggers.
“Although, we are missing Rebel.” Coyote announced as he finished listing the roster of the team. You imagined your best friend swinging his head around, scanning for you and you almost would’ve laughed had your knuckles not been holding the sink so tightly they were turning white.
“Rebel? Your old wingman Rebel? Man, I thought you finally ditched her for someone better.” Came Shadow’s voice. Shadow and Raven were twins, brother and sister, and man, were they cruel. The ringleaders of all the hazing and bullying that took place on the Green Vipers with a CO just as cruel to match.
“Never, Shadow. Anyways, Admiral Thompson, this is our instructor-”
“Captain Pete Mitchell. We’ve met.” Came the cool voice of your old CO. There he was.
“Thompson.” A beat. “Admiral Thompson here is the reason I got shipped out to Bosnia.” You weren’t sure who your Dad was talking to in particular but that suddenly made a lot of things make sense.
“This morning, Rebel was almost late to instruction and for a minute there, we thought she abandoned us to go back to the Green Vipers.” Coyote joked, forever trying to keep the peace. Never, Coyote, you thought. Never.
“Man, come on you know we don’t want her.” Shadow said, laughing.
“What do you have against Rebel?” Came Rooster’s voice and you could hear the protectiveness in his voice, the same one you heard when you were 7 and Bradley was telling your elementary bully to back off, again when you were 16 and the boy who broke your heart wouldn’t leave you alone.
“She’s insufferably annoying. She never shuts up. For a team made of the stuff legends are built off of, I’m surprised y’all haven’t gotten rid of her yet.” Came Ghost’s voice and you almost swore. You’d been an official squadron for less than 24 hours and you were already having your reputation torn to goddamn shreds.
“She’s our teammate and a damn good pilot.” Came Phoenix’s measured voice, but there was an edge to it, one you’d learned to recognize from the young pilot, only used when she was defending her friends.
“Well, you can have her. We don’t want her back. The team’s better off without her.” Shadow cooly responded and you felt like you were gonna throw up. Never good enough, never good enough, never good enough...
“Don’t talk about my daughter that way.” Your Dad said, a clear edge to his voice and you could almost picture his stature changing, straightening himself up to his full height, ready to put these people in their place.
“Well, that explains a few things about her flying.” Admiral Thompson stated and your vision felt blurry. You had to get out of here, couldn’t hear anymore, couldn’t sit around to wait for your team to start agreeing.
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?” You expected your Dad to retort but recognized it as Coyote’s voice. Was Coyote really about to stand up to his old CO for you?
“Do you really trust her as your wingman, Lieutenant Machado?”
“With my life.” Came Coyote’s firm reply and-
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860 notes - Posted July 5, 2022
#3
same mistakes pt. ii (bradley “rooster” bradshaw”)
a/n: well this got out of hand...
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist
pt. i | pt. iii
summary: unfinished conversations and unsaid things seems to be the theme of your relationship of your relationship with Rooster these days.
warnings: we cover a lot of ground, Hangman’s an asshole, insecurities, swearing, i don’t know how the Navy works, me making up things the movie didn’t show us because it’s my story and I can, i think this goes without saying but spoilers for TG:M, canon violence, my friend said the first part gave her emotional whiplash and apparently i took that as a personal challenge, angsty angst, Mav’s a good Dad but also growing up in a military family is hard, there’s a complicated history here and life is not so simple, i definitely got movie dialogue wrong, the movie didn’t tell us how dogfight football works and for that i am unhappy, justice for Coyote part 2
word count: 7,515
Dogfight football turned out to be a lot more fun than you had expected it to be. You weren’t still entirely sure what the point was, or how to even play, but looking at your teammates shirtless, who weren’t not hard on the eyes by any means... Well, could anyone blame you if your attention strayed a little? You, Phoenix, and Halo shared a smirk as Coyote and Rooster bumped chests. Men, you thought, shaking your head with laughter. As the day wore on, Maverick bowed out, moving up towards the beach near Penny. You laughed at the two of them. Maybe they would finally work things out. Maybe this time they would get things right.
Not long after your Dad left, one of the footballs disappeared into the ocean, with most of the squadron going after it. You noted that the other had been abandoned and you picked it up. “Uh, hey guys, what do I do with this?” Phoenix turned to look at you, Bob not far behind her. Okay, so maybe, you hadn’t been listening when your Dad explained the rules. Maybe, you’d been admiring your teammates just a little too much...
"Uh, run.” Bob called. You weren’t sure when you’d switched teams but you were now playing on Phoenix and Bob’s team... apparently.
“Run to where?” You called back as Rooster and Fanboy turned and saw that you had the football.
“Literally just run.” Phoenix shouted as Rooster and Fanboy took off out of the water after you, Payback and Hangman not far behind them.
“Okay, okay, running!” You shouted, taking off down the beach as Hondo cheered you on. You shrieked as Coyote came up on your side, diving after you. You slid, kicking up wet sand and stumbled back up. “Phoenix!” You shouted, throwing her the football. She caught it gracefully, taking back off on the other side of the beach. The boys who had been following you took off as they realized you no longer had what they were after. You sighed, mildly thankful. Getting tossed into the water and/or tackled by a 6 foot something pilot did not sound pleasant. Phoenix scored and your team erupted into cheers as the boys groaned. The game continued on with at one point Bob getting lifted up onto someone’s shoulders and later with Hondo getting dragged into the game as well. Eventually, you tapped out with Bob, and the others weren’t too far behind you. The laughter carried up the beach as you all trudged back to the Hard Deck for a beer. Any tension from the night before had been forgotten and you were hopeful this would soften any ill will they all had towards you. Hangman and Rooster were bickering about who had scored the most, despite the fact that they had definitely been playing on the same team at one point. This bickering was different from the insults they were slinging at each other just yesterday though. There was no bite, no real attack, just fun. You laughed and shook your head, sharing a look with Phoenix and Coyote as the three of you passed through the back door of the Hard Deck. Penny smiled and waved at you as you sat down at the counter next to your Dad. She handed you a beer as the rest of the squadron either crowded around the pool table or the darts board or the jukebox, breaking off into their own groups.
“How’d it go?” Penny asked. You nodded.
“Good.” You responded, taking a sip of your beer.
“Who won?” You shook your head.
“I don’t think anyone.”
“Did you score?” She asked, a teasing smile on her face.
“I don’t think so. I didn’t even know how to score.” Penny outright laughed as your Dad shook his head.
“Did you listen at all when I explained the rules?”
“No.” You responded in such a way that made your Dad roll his eyes. You quickly covered his ears as you whispered to Penny, “They’re all so attractive and shirtless.” Your Dad brushed you off, laughing.
“I heard that, you know.” You laughed and shrugged, a light blush coloring your face. As Penny moved to serve other members of the squadron, your Dad sighed and you looked over at him, noticing the laughter and humor from his face had disappeared.
“What’s wrong?” You asked. He shook his head, looking down at his hands as they played with his beer bottle. “Dad?”
“I saw Ice this morning.”
“How is he?” The look on his face made your stomach sink. “Don’t tell me...”
“The cancer’s back. It’s not looking good.” You groaned softly. The feeling of tears pinpricked at your eyes as your Dad scooted closer to give you a hug. Ice was your godfather and you’d known him for as long as you could remember, always following him around, poking around his office, wanting to know what he was doing. Much to your Dad’s chagrin, you were much more fascinated with Ice’s work than whatever your Dad was doing with pissing off Admirals and recklessly flying planes. Ice and Sarah had had a hand in raising both you and Bradley and after Bradley disappeared and your Dad was constantly sent on long deployments, Ice was your rock, stability, and support. His family offered you more than you could ever ask for.
“I’m sorry, Dad.” You whispered. He had spent so much of his life alone. He’d never married, never settled down. After Goose’s death, then Carole’s, and Rooster disappearing, you and Ice had been all he had. Now, to think about the possibility of losing Ice too... It was far too much for your heart to bear. “You’ll always have me.” You offered, looking back up at him with a watery smile. You couldn’t guarantee that would be true, not with this line of work, not with this kind of mission on the horizon. But you knew you’d always fight like hell to come back to him. He’d been the only family you’d ever had, especially after Carole died and Rooster left. He chuckled slightly.
“I know, kiddo. I know.” You heard Coyote call you from behind and you and your Dad both turned. He, Hangman, Payback, and Fanboy were around the pool table.
“You coming to play or what?” You looked back at your Dad, who lightly shoved you out of your chair.
“Go, we’ll talk later.” He said, waving you off. You laughed and trekked over to the table as Fanboy handed you a pool cue.
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938 notes - Posted July 2, 2022
#2
same mistakes pt. i (bradley “rooster” bradshaw)
a/n: @roosterbrdshaw made a post about a enemies-to-lovers, maverick’s daughter fic and this was born. i rewatched the movie last weekend and got a new idea, so i scrapped everything i had already written and started over. and then... it got out of hand.... so i’m breaking it up into a least three parts. uhm, kylie, write a slow-burn??? where are we??
title comes from one direction’s “same mistakes” don’t come for me
summary: (enemies-to-lovers, maverick’s daughter!reader) you and Bradley used to be best friends. key word: used to. as in, over, in the past, never gonna happen again. the sight of the pilot makes your skin crawl, disgust and anger curdling in your stomach. it definitely has nothing to do with the unspoken feelings leftover from your teen years. not at all. furthermore, being put together on a suicide mission is not your idea of a good time. no matter what, you and Rooster seemed to be doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again.
callsign: rebel
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | pt. ii | pt. iii
warnings: my shitty military knowledge, i swore, no the movie didn’t tell us what squadron Coyote originally flew with so i made it up, I am actually from San Diego so some of my personal experience is filtered in here sue me, okay really it’s just my love of burritos, i don’t know jackshit about flying a plane and it’s obvious, i tweaked some of the movie dialogue for plot reasons, justice for Coyote, Maverick’s a supportive Dad no matter how much his daughter fucks up (this will become apparent in the upcoming parts but we get hints here and there in this part)
word count: 5,126
Maverick took a deep breath, eyes flitting over the board of twelve students recalled for this special mission. “Is there a problem, Captain?” Cyclone’s voice called.
“You know there is.”
-
You walked into the Hard Deck behind Coyote, welcoming the familiar sounds of music and patrons talking amongst themselves at the bar. You breathed in a comfortable sigh, Coyote looking at you with a smirk. “Good to be home.” You said, seeing your Dad sat at the bar talking to Penny. Coyote laughed, moving towards the back where a tall, handsome blond was sat next to the pool table.
“You spend twelve weeks here for TOPGUN training and suddenly this is home?”
“Born and raised here, baby.” You said, pushing your trademark aviators to sit atop your head. You waved to your Dad as you followed behind Coyote. Penny turned, seeing you and giving you her signature smirk with a wave of her fingers. You weren’t sure what your Dad was doing back in Fightertown but you had a suspicion he’d gone and pissed off the Admiral overseeing his project in the Mojave Desert. The blond shot up out of his seat, pulling Coyote over into a hug.
“Machado, man, what’re you doing out here?”
“Got re-called from the Green Vipers for a special mission. You?”
“Same thing. Wondering what kind of mission they’re asking us to fly for. Who's your friend?” Coyote opened his mouth, presumably to introduce you when the man’s attention shifted to a group of three nearing the table. Your eyes locked on a tall man sitting in the corner, who was quietly observing and eating peanuts. You lifted a hand from where your arms were crossed to wave at him and he gave you a shy smile back, waving in return.
“Fellows, this here’s Bagman.” You hear the woman say, attention shifting back to the group.
“Hangman.” The blond said, shooting the girl a bright smile. Her eyes locked over towards you, clearly getting ready to ask about you. You noted her pin said Trace and you realized who were standing in front of. Few pilots made names for themselves like Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, so yeah, you’d heard of her.
“Whatever.”
“Who's your friends?”
“Payback.”
“Fanboy.” Hangman’s eyes slid over to a brunette approaching to the table and you could’ve vomited at the sight of him. Of all the goddamn pilots...
“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe.” Rooster took off his aviators, squinting at the sight of you next to Hangman.
“Hangman.” He responded, giving the man a curt nod. “Rebel.”
“Rooster.” You responded, and the table’s interest piqued.
“Two of you know each other?” Phoenix asked.
“Our old man’s used to fly together. Let’s just say that I’m not a fan.”
“Coincidentally, neither am I.” He sneered at you in response and you returned the look.
“Your old man a pilot, Rebel? I didn’t know that.” Coyote said, turning to you. You shrugged.
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973 notes - Posted June 30, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
i’d lie (bradley “rooster” bradshaw)
a/n: something cute and wholesome to make up for all the angst i’ve been putting out into the world lately.
summary: Rooster overhears you singing at a barbecue. he can’t help but wish it was him you were singing about. little does he know...
callsign: bubbles
inspired by t swizzle’s “I’d lie” (if blondie don’t officially release this with her re-records i will cry)
main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist
warnings: teeth-rotting fluff, angst if you squint, idiots in love, the team plays matchmaker, allusions to sex like briefly for a sentence at the end, swearing
word count: 1,922
The squadron had been together for almost a year now and Rooster was enjoying every minute of it. Ever since the team had come back successful, the Navy had elected to keep them together to create an elite squadron, recognizing their compatibility as pilots and people. Maverick was their main teacher and it felt like life had finally settled into place. Except for just one thing, something Phoenix would especially not let go of. His no longer secret crush on you, given the fact that at one point or another over the last ten months the team had done the math and figured out he’d been harboring feelings for their fellow pilot. The team, Phoenix especially, was pushing for him to tell you, but for a man so sure of himself in the air, he was afraid to ruin the solid friendship he had with you. So he watched from afar, admiring the way your contagious laughter lit up a room and the way you danced like no one was watching and challenged anyone who gave you the chance. You were incredibly intelligent, and witty, and everything Rooster wanted. But he contented himself to watch from the sidelines, settling to keep the friendship.
Which is where he found himself tonight. The team was at some barbecue with some military official’s family. The house was near the ocean and huge. As the night settled in, he found himself sitting on a porch swing outside, sipping a beer and enjoying the sounds of the nearby ocean. One of the younger pilots must have gotten a hold of the music because distantly from inside he heard music from the early 2000’s began to play. Content as he was to sit out here by himself, his friends seemed content to not leave him alone as they all wandered out on to the porch. His eyes skimmed the group, noting that Bubbles was missing. He wondered where you were, briefly wondering if you’d gone home with another pilot. He shook the thought from his head as the team settled in around him. They all conveniently left the seat next to him on the swing open. “Where’s Bubbles?” he asked, trying to be nonchalant in the way he said it. Phoenix snickered.
“Inside. Some poor Admiral won’t let her out of a conversation. And she’s too nice to say anything.” He smiled briefly, thinking of how you were probably in the kitchen talking to some official who was droning on about his achievements and how you were politely smiling and nodding, not willing to excuse yourself from the conversation. Someone produced some cards and the team began to play as he sat back, slowly rocking in the swing. He listened to the music and after a little while, you finally opened the patio door, bright smile gracing your face. You took the only open seat next to him as if it was the most natural thing in the world and he swallowed, looking away, trying to fight his face from going hot.
“Hey.” You said breathless, running a hand through your hair.
“You run from that Admiral?” Hangman joked.
“Just about. Can I be dealt in?” Payback nodding, and handed the deck to you.
“Sure, if you shuffle for the next round.” You groaned, leaning back in your chair. Rooster’s arm had been leaned up against the back of the sing and your head just barely brushed his arm. Butterflies erupted in his stomach as he sipped his beer, desperately trying to play it off. Fanboy snickered at his face but said nothing. Distantly, he heard the sound of an old Taylor Swift song being played.
“Sorry Rooster.” You said, patting his arm and then leaning back to the table to shuffle. Rooster felt himself turning red as Bob sent him a knowing grin. He took another sip of his beer, trying to get himself under control. Your hair was falling over your shoulder and the outfit you had worn was simple and yet made you look fucking amazing... as usual, Rooster wasn’t sure how you did it. He gently rocked on the swing as you shuffled. The team chatted around him and he soaked in the feeling of this moment. Moments of peace and pure contentment like this were rare and he would savor it for as long as he got it.
“He’ll never fall in love he swears as he runs his fingers through his hair, I’m laughing cause I hope he’s wrong”
Rooster’s eyes flickered over to you as he realized you were softly singing along to the song. He tried not to blush and looked away, not trying to let you know that he knew. He made eye contact with Fanboy as he made kissy faces at him. Rooster discreetly flipped him off from behind his beer as he listened to you sing along. You seemed lost in your own world as you shuffled the deck.
“He sees everything back and white, Never let nobody see him cry, I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine”
The way your voice followed the musicality of the song perfectly, the way your head slightly bobbed to the music (which he didn’t even think he realized you were doing), the smile that graced your face and eyes as the song played, he felt himself falling harder for you.
“He’d never tell you, but he can play guitar, I think he can see through everything but my heart, First thought when I wake up, Is my God he’s beautiful, So I put on my make-up and pray for a miracle”
“Gee Bubbles, with the way you’re singing that song, you’d think there‘s a secret crushy-crush we don’t know about.” Hangman said, smirking at her while Coyote made kissy noises. She shot him the side-eye and slammed the newly shuffled deck of cards into his hand.
“You’re annoying. Deal.” Hangman chuckled and began to deal out the cards. The rest of the night passed without event, but Rooster couldn’t help wonder if you did have a crush on someone they didn’t know about. He knew he had a solid friendship with you, but he wasn’t Phoenix or Halo, wasn’t as open as Fanboy or Bob, couldn’t offer you advice like Coyote or Payback, so maybe there was a crush he hadn’t known about. The thought made the alcohol in his stomach began to feel sour but he had to remind himself that he did this to himself. Finally, you called it quits, leaning up against the back of the swing, head just barely resting against Rooster’s forearm. He wanted nothing more than to move it down and wrap it around your shoulder, bring you into his side, and rub your arm as the two of you chatted with your friends but it��wasn’t like that and never would be. Wouldn’t ever be his place to do something domestic like that. A few more rounds got played as you chatted with Bob and Phoenix, but eventually the team called it quits. He elected to spend just a few more minutes outside, enjoying the night as the party still raged inside. Phoenix gave him a look as you stood up to hug Bob and he flipped her off as you pulled away. You sat back down next to Rooster, despite there being a bunch more empty seats. He tried not to let the butterflies in his stomach get carried away. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while, the swing slowly rocking and you scrolling through social media. He didn’t want this moment to end as he sipped the last of his beer. Finally, you sighed, locking your phone and setting it down on the table in front of you. He looked down at you as you shifted slightly to be fully facing towards him. “Can I talk to you?” You asked softly and he nodded, setting his beer down on the table.
“Of course. Always.” He said, concern filtering in his voice. Was something wrong? Were you going to leave the squadron? Had you figured out he liked you? He was slightly panicking. You picked at the skin near the corners of your nail, a nervous habit of yours. Did he make you nervous? That was the last thing he wanted.
“Um, I need to tell you something just to get it off my chest because Coyote thinks I really should and um, I don’t want you to like freak out or anything, but I just need to tell you.” He nodded slowly, still mildly confused. And yet, there was kernel of hope growing somewhere in his heart that maybe, just maybe- You took a deep breath and shut your eyes. You leaned your forehead against his arm and groaned. “This is so fucking difficult.”
“Hey, it’s just me.” he said gently, reaching out to place a hand on your shoulder.
“Yeah, and that’s the problem.” You said, not moving your head. Something chipped away at his heart at that but he tried not to show it on his face. He rubbed his thumb on your shoulder gently.
“You don’t have to tell me.” He whispered.
“Yes I do because I’m gonna hate myself if I don’t.”
“Okay, well, take all the time you need.” The two of you sat there for a few more minutes before you finally lifted your head to look at him. He left his hand placed your shoulder rubbing small circles because you hadn’t pushed him off yet and it seemed to be bringing you the smallest amounts of comfort. You took a deep breath, hands settled in your lap as you looked at him honestly.
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1,065 notes - Posted June 28, 2022
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I think there is a desire in one part of the fandom to completely absolve him of his actions in The Avengers. I don't deny clearly he was under the influence of the scepter, but all it did was amplify what was already there. Torture or no torture, he still killed a whole bunch of people and ripped a guy's eye out and was clearly not being puppeted by Thanos at that time.
I don't think people understand that even if it was dubious consent megalomaniacal wholesale violence, it was still megalomaniacal wholesale violence.
It's hard to reconcile the Loki from all of the other films and the television series with the Loki in The Avengers because Joss Whedon is a hack, and thought it was funny to have Loki call Tasha a cunt (and for the record he's the one who wrote and shot the Thor post credit scene before he had finished a script for The Avengers so it was actually really sloppy) and so we're all collectively trying to erase the events of The Avengers from our minds. Mostly because it's a terrible terrible movie, and I don't blame people for wanting a better movie. Sadly what we got, we are stuck with. So you try to find a way to make it work for you.
The primary reason Loki works as a character is cos Tom Hiddleston has done the work as an actor and an executive producer to try to keep the character as consistent as possible while still showing us new sides of the character and his relationships in each new chapter.
He was incredibly collaborative with Kenneth Branagh on the first film, as they had worked together previously both in theater and in television. He and Hemsworth got on incredibly well and filmed additional scenes with their two characters in The Dark World because they played off each other so well, and Marvel wanted to see more of that relationship.
If people don't like the series, nobody's forcing them to watch it. If the very existence of the series is hurting them, and they feel left out, I can understand that feeling. If they want to stick with the version of Loki that lives in their heads, and from fanfic and roleplay and all that, I say live and let live.
But I do think that there are some fans who are actively angry and hostile toward the rest of the fandom because they don't necessarily share their views on the character or the films and TV series.
I have a friend who was deeply, deeply involved in Thor fandom with me before The Avengers movie came out who actually backed off from MCU fandom completely because of the actions of a handful of diehard Loki fans who just made their entire experience in the fandom miserable. And this is someone who had never picked up a Marvel comic and started reading Thor comics and we watched the movie every week, and it was our happy place for most of 2011 and parts of 2012.
And there's the usual fandom drama that you would find in any fandom over the last 50 years like 'ship wars, and cliques, and fanon vs canon, etc.
But at the same time, some of the folks who hated season one did some really horrible horrible things to real people involved with the television series like sending hate mail, rape threats, death threats, doxxing and stalking and a lot of other horrific shit, particularly aimed at the director Kate Herron and co-star Sophia DiMartino. And that's not okay. that is not cool.
So the atmosphere can be very fraught, and there is a lot of hate in the tags that there is no way to filter out. And it's really hard to find a place to find like-minded people to hang out and just talk story and write meta and nerd out the way that we used to on Twitter and Livejournal. There's a lot of stuff to wade through sometimes that is upsetting, before you can get to the nuggets of joy.
ETA: But there is joy to be had. I feel really blessed that I have had some great conversations over the last 4 weeks here on Tumblr. and I do curate my experience really really just to save my own sanity, so anybody saying stuff I vehemently disagree with, or is hateful or ugly, I block so I don't see their content in my feed (because I figure, they're not going to change their minds if they see my posts either).
For the people who like to pretend this didn't happen.
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Please allow me a little manga shoutout~
I just found out that the English edition of Iki Dekinai no wa Kimi no Sei (which I am reading in Japanese) by Zeniko Sumiya has been out for a while already as Breathless Momentum!
(I also haven't heard of any translations scandals, so here is hoping this isn't going to come biting me like OtoTsuku did.)
I feel like the author and their works deserve some mention:
They appear to really be set on to dwarf those old trodden uke/seme expectations, as well as its conflation with the top/bottom stereotypes. It happens in all of their BL works, and they once said on twitter that they don't like people/characters be seen as uke/seme, but also mentioned the woes and dilemma over tags out of a sales perspective to make readers pick the works up. So sounds like a very aware, intentional choice.
They don't do your usual explicit bed scenes. The tweet of theirs makes it sound a lot like they are also going out of their way to avoid them as part of the uke/seme trope avoidance. Which is, I think, a really bold stance, given that some subjectively perceived 90% of the BL manga genre lives from being literal porn.
That being said, they don't go the forced sanitized sex negative, innocent-pure fluff instead either. Physical attraction and intimacy is very much a thing for their characters to deal with, and it gets very much shown. Some of their adult characters are depicted as quite horny for and palpably in it for wanting to bone each other on the regular. All the while, it never goes porny. Which seems to be a pretty darn noteworthy skill, given how rare works like that exist out in the wild.
Sometimes some visual allegories for the spice get employed, and I thought them to be quite hilarious.
They also like to have their characters get to have healthy conversions about themselves quite quickly, or have side characters pushing them to have them. Admittedly, especially in Breathless, it sometimes comes at the costs that the climax comes off as a bit anticlimactic. As in, "That was all it took? So simple?" And then to stop for a moment and go "Sure, so simple if folks actually TALKED." (Which another subjectively perceived 90% of all romance never seem to manage.)
Some titles went to be about couples in already in a relationship, so it goes and explores some domestic settings. (Also very rare in romance in general.)
What I personally also think is interesting is how some of their works has protagonists being "sexual deviants" (the characters' own words). Like in Breathless both main characters get the hots from playing music, and it gets more intense the better the performance gets. Usually any sort of such deviancy tends to be framed as something creepy, shameful or something to cringe over or is abused as a throwaway joke. This series instead rolls with it with a sense of practicality that is used in a comedic way, but doesn't feel like it's judging, and later chapters in the Japanese release even pick it back up as something they have, always will have and need to live with.
(The author also has a fantasy GL work called 5 Seconds Before a Witch Falls in Love that's also been released in English. It dodges your typical Yuri tropes, but is imo a bit too short story-styled (it also has two completely separate narratives collected in there) to really go anywhere in terms of fleshed out character development.)
I also haven't heard of any translations scandals, so here is hoping this isn't going to come back biting me like OtoTsuku did. 💦
Ooo thanks for the rec, I'll check it out. I just finished I Cannot Reach You and I have to say I found it a bit boring. So I'm intersted in something new. I'll put Breathless Momentum on my watch list (right now there's no print edition and I don't read graphics in digital, so Imma haffa wait.)
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Happy WIP Wednesday and thank you for the tags @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @forabeatofadrum @confused-bi-queer. Your WIPs are all amazing and I can't wait to read them when they post.
I haven’t written anything new, though I’m deep into an outline for an 8th year canon divergence fic that begins at the wedding where Premal’s friend Sam got into it with one of the Grimm cousins. Spoiler alert: Simon and Baz were there in my version.
Instead I thought I might offer a few deleted/alternate versions of scenes from What’s Left (which is finally done, I posted the epilogue on Sunday). Under the cut, because it’s very long!
Tags for folks I know have read/started reading What’s Left (because I’m not sure who else would actually be interested in reading this at this point): @creepyspice @captain-aralias @bookish-bogwitch @fatalfangirl @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @gekkoinapeartree @technetiumai @artsyunderstudy @im-gettingby @ivelovedhimthroughworse @yellobb @mrskrementz @angelsfalling16. And also tags for anyone else who sees this because I love to see your WIPs!
From Chapter 8 in the Mage’s storage locker. I had this bit in Sid’s POV before I decided that Sid was actually going to be the competent one in that scene instructing Baz on how to search the place without causing the cursed furniture to attack them:
“I’ll just sit here,” I say, lowering myself into a comfortable looking wingback chair, just as Baz screams “Nooooooo!” from his corner of the cramped space. I feel myself sinking into it. It’s deeper and softer than I expected and I close my eyes, lulled by a deep sense of comfort until I feel myself being yanked forcibly to my feet, a jolt of pain running through my shoulder.
“Damn Baz, what the fuck?” I cry.
“I should be asking you that? I told you not to touch anything, and next thing I see you getting yourself eaten by a cursed armchair!”
“I mean, I didn’t touch it, I sat in it.”
“That’s touching it, Sid. With your arse. Your arse counts.”
Something about Baz talking about my arse makes me blush, though I don’t exactly know why.
“I probably should have left you in there,” he goes on. “To keep you out of the way while I search this place.”
He casts Be Our Guest on the wingback. “This should stop it from attacking you again.”
“Beauty and the Beast,” I mouth at him.
He rolls his eyes.
From Chapter 8 on the car ride to Essex, I had this whole long sequence in Baz’s POV of them talking about what happened with Phillipa and the tape recorder in fifth year. But, I had already covered this ground earlier in the chapter to some extent, so I dropped it.
What made it in to the chapter was only the first line of this snippet:
“Why don’t you tell me about something terrible I did to you last night in your dreams?” I venture, trying to move the conversation into more familiar territory.
I regret it immediately.
“Well, I did dream about the day you stole Phillipa’s voice…” he says. I wince.
“Right. Of course”
“That was pretty stupid, Baz. Simon was able to do magic without his voice anyway, you saw him do it all the time. Seems pointless.”
“Fiona,” is my only response to that.
“But Baz, why did you do it?”
“I just told you. Fiona.”
“No, I mean, why did you do it?” He pauses, considering, before quietly continuing. “You loved him by then, didn’t you?”
If they could get any paler, my knuckles would be white, I grip the steering wheel so hard. “So talking about my diary is back to being fair game again, is it?”
“Sorry. It’s - I think it might help me understand the things I see and feel in the dreams if you could explain.”
“No, it’s okay. I just…” How do I even explain this? “I hated the sight of him. I hated what he did to me.”
“Hmmm,” Sid hums. “It didn’t always look like you hated him. He watched you, Baz, all the time. He liked looking at you -”
“I know.”
“- and there are… these moments I remember where you clearly don’t hate him.”
“Yes, well. You know. I was… conflicted. Tortured, some might say.”
“I think you said that, actually. In your journal.”
I glance over and see that he’s looked up from his lap, and is gazing at me with intense curiosity. He looks quickly down again, blushing. I can’t help but think he looks lovely, though I immediately chastise myself for even letting myself know it. It doesn’t help to know it.
“Anyway,” he finally says. “The whole reason I brought it up was to tell you that Simon saw it. I think he decided not to know it, probably because you had already soundly rejected him, but he saw it, for what it’s worth.” He keeps going, like he can’t stop himself. “I mean, I’m not saying I really know what he felt, there are so many new… feelings in those dreams, like, even just hormonal stuff I guess, that comes with being a teenager, and it’s all so intense, and I’m still trying to make sense of it myself, and…” he trails off and stares out the window.
Now I can feel my cheeks trying to colour. Only the fact that I haven’t fed since last night is saving me from it. This is horribly awkward for too many reasons to count.
Just a dream, Basil. Just an illusion. Try not to - No. Scratch that. Do. Not. Think about it.
And, from Chapter 12, I rewrote the way Baz admits to Sid that he loves him MANY MANY times before settling on the version that appears in the story where it happens at the, ahem, climax of the chapter. Here is a different version of that, picking up in a Sid POV right after this line that WAS in the chapter (where he has admitted that he aged himself up in part to gain Simon’s memories of him and Baz getting together on Christmas Eve):
“I just want you to understand,” I continue in a low voice. “Can’t you see? How we’re the same? You were ready to die, that night in the forest, and not to save anyone either. Just because you were sad. Because it was all hopeless, and you thought Simon could never love you.”
But instead of leading right into the love scene, when Baz kisses him, there was a bit more drama. I dropped all of this because it slowed things down and I couldn’t figure out a good way to get them back to making out from here:
“No Sid,” he says and his voice is little more than a whisper. His lips are so close to mine, too close, I can feel them moving against my cheek. “I do understand. I do. You are the one who doesn’t understand.”
And then he forces his lips violently against mine. Without thinking about it, I open my mouth to let him in. This kiss is nothing like the one we shared earlier. All teeth and tongue.
He lets go of my shoulders and puts both of his hands on my face, and he kisses me so hard my chin hurts. He presses his entire body against mine. And for a minute, I let him. I rub his stomach the way I know he likes now, I slide my fingers under the hem of his shirt.
I let myself take what I want, and I give it all back to him tenfold. Everything I feel for him, everything Simon felt for him, how angry I am at the Mage for what he’s done, how angry I am at the world for how everything’s turned out. How angry I am that I’m going to die and nobody but Baz and Penny will ever really know I existed.
But I know what he’s doing. And this time when I come up for air, it’s me that pushes him away. He lets me, and takes a step back. His eyes are wild, his hair is a mess from the way I was fisting my hand in it.
“What are you - ” he sputters, lips still slightly pink from where I was sucking on them. “I thought you said - ”
“Come off it, Baz!” I realise I’m screaming in his face. There are tears running down my cheeks.
He looks stricken, like I’ve just slapped him, and takes another step backward until his back hits the opposite wall and he slides down it.
“You don’t have to do this!”
BAZ
Sid is still standing across the room from me. He’s flushed, either from anger or from our kiss, or maybe from anger about our kiss, and his face is streaked with tears. He’s accusing me of something, but I don’t know what. I’m angry too, so angry at him, but I thought maybe kissing him might help fix things. Might help him understand so that we can move on to figuring out a way out of this. A way to move forward.
“Do what? Kiss you? I wanted to! I thought you would want me to. You just said - ”
“Pretend!” he shouts at me. “I don’t want your pity,” he finishes quietly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You don’t need to pretend you want me, Baz, just to convince me to let you help. I will. If we get out of this cell in time, I’ll let you spell me back into my eleven-year-old body and you and Penny can try and figure out how to get me out of this. I promise. I’ll do it for you, because I don’t want you to hurt. You don’t have to pretend to feel something you don’t.”
He takes a seat on the floor, mirroring my pose against the opposite wall, one leg out in front, one knee up with his arm around it.
“But I told you, Sid. I told you how I found you.” “How you - ” He looks up at me sharply. “You mean the finding spell? For someone you love? You were looking for me? You love me?”
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