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jadecantcreate · 15 days ago

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curse of strahdanya has officially taken over my brain! alongside arcane…season two is SO GOOD SO FARR please go watch it if you haven’t. holy shit yall it does not disappoint

spoilers for up to and the entirety of episode 7 of cos — ill mainly be talking about character dynamics (mostly shepnax) but major events and plot developments will be explicitly discussed as well, so, if you’re not there yet, please don’t keep reading (getting spoilered for this stuff is not worth it i promise)

im sorry in advance. im not even done writing everything yet and its already very long

the way i see it, episode 7 is a major turning point for not only the whole story but inter-party relationships as well. i’ll be organizing this a little bit so it’s less text-wall-y (hopefully)

shepherd

there’s the raven mother they find nailed to the wall — the culprit being strahdanya. this definitely fueled the hate that all of the party had for her, but especially shepherd. he literally screams out in anguish and, later, calls strahdanya a coward and bitch — something we’ve never seen shepherd do before.* i think the events in the beginning of ep 7 is what really cemented his and the party’s objective: destroy strahdanya. before, i sensed some kind of ‘wiggle room’: the party would be willing to work with her a bit, though only for a very short amount of time and would probably backstab her. but after witnessing all that? strahdanya is irredeemably evil, not worthy of consideration / sympathy / courtesy, and i think it finally fully dawned on them all

*i also love how much raw emotion shepherd expresses throughout the campaign. the rest of the party has their moments too (i can immediately think of kana and victoria, but im not remembering any significant ones for clayton or sarnax though i know they exist), but shepherd consistently reacts to the hellhole that is barovia in such a genuine way that it grounds the whole narrative and, to me, makes barovia that much more horrifying. in other stories or discussions of stories ive seen like this (and even in the cos party itself), the characters are largely untouched by the horrors that occur in such a setting. which, fit the characters/purpose as it might, distances the audience at least a tiny bit from the happenings of the narrative. but when you have an otherwise grounded, calm, capable individual like shepherd crack? that’s when it really hits you i think. like, the whole thing with sarnax reviving the mother? shepherd being so relieved and overcome with a multitude of feelings that his voice cracks as he holds back tears, begging the mother to rest and not do any work? it made me feel the same way, and it really drove home how wonderful this act is and how dire their situation is. shepherd (and andy by extension!) have drawn the most emotion out of me in my watch, and its possibly the main reason i enjoy his character so much

him being seemingly chosen by the silver dragon (which, again, another turning point) is very compelling in a narrative sense too because shepherd doesnt want power, he doesn’t seem to even like the idea of leading (or at least being pushed into a position of leadership). i’ll touch on it later in the shepherd and sarnax segment (if i dont forget lol, my mind is running wild while i write this)

victoria

i think strahd’s infatuation with her and the physical effects it has (kana’s cleansing ritual failing because the water becomes blood as it touches victoria) is so interesting, especially her inner conflict with her heritage and wickedness (and the distrust it sows between her and the party, at least initially)

i really enjoyed how victoria was vulnerable with kana, and how kana handled it with such care and compassion. this is also a turning point, i think, when it comes their relationship: kana promises to protect victoria, and victoria promises to fight the darkness within her; they definitely got closer after that, and their bond was deepened. i dont imagine strahd would be very happy about victoria not being enamored by her and being helped by her party, though it’s very possible that she enjoys ‘the chase’ (for the lack of a better term)

when they came across the dusk elf in the order of the silver dragon estate-thing, it’s a pretty clear parallel to victoria given her appearance, heritage, and reason for being in barovia. i could be very very wrong about this but its heavily implied victoria’s elf half is a dusk elf, which makes sense considering, again, that she’s in barovia to learn about her lineage and that dusk elves are the only elves mentioned so far. i think this is the first time she’s genuinely made progress in her goal

sarnax

sarnax’s identity revolves around gherix: his whole life is devoted to the fire lord; he’s used to communing with and praying to his god. it’s likely what kept him going in such a terrible place with such terrible odds of survival, let alone returning (which he’s convinced he will not). so when strahdanya intercepted the augury spell he was so clearly shaken. it was one of the few moments, if not the only one, where sarnax was in genuine, utter panic — the whole time shepherd repeatedly asked him if he was alright and he didn’t seem to hear those words at all. suddenly he learned that strahdanya could damage or possibly sever his connection to his god, the being his life is centered around. (kana’s comment certainly didn’t help)

but what happens after — the augury spell reading ‘weal’ and sarnax being able to revive the mother — strengthens his faith. it was tested, but he prevailed. i think he was also filled with a newfound sense of purpose, knowing that, no matter what strahd does, his god considers him worthy enough

about him and kana: episode 7 is the culmination of their slow development towards not only tolerating each other’s beliefs but to understand and embrace them, specifically with kana saying that she trusts in sarnax and his god

sarnax and shepherd

the conversation between them was my favorite moment in this episode by far. there are so many layers,

shepherd so clearly doesnt want to embody his namesake and be a leader, but the silver dragon and someone he trusts so much — sarnax — and fate itself push him in that direction, so he just does. shepherd says:

“sarnax don’t”

“no why would you-“

“why- why- why would you put this on me, why?”

“how can you say that?”

“this was just a job. i mean this was just to make sure we all got here and back safely…how did this happen?”

then, later…

“alright, alright i…okay. i…dont know what to say”

“alright…alright…okay, understood”

“sure, sure. lead the way” and, after sarnax says “no, shepherd. you lead the way, i will light the path,” “…fine.”

essentially, he sucks it up. and that’s interesting to me since shepherd shows so much emotion, so it’s clearly not a ‘men dont cry’-type ideology thing. i think it’s probably related to his desire to do good, and as well as the good doc. after all, the doc gave him his virtue name: shepherd. it only makes sense that he would be written by fate as one: a person who guides the lost through the darkness. so that’s my guess as to why he so readily accepts this burden

i think sarnax being the one to say this also played a role in it^. shepherd witnessed firsthand the power of gherix and sarnax’s wisdom, so much so that he prayed to gherix. shepherd, who was originally averse to anything religious, prayed. and i also think sarnax is shepherd’s only true friend in the party. his relationship with clayton, victoria, and kana feels like professional acquaintances — they’re comfortable with each other and certainly growing closer, but he seeks out sarnax (and sarnax does too) and both have called the other a friend or good friend, on more than one occasion for shepherd and at least one for sarnax. it’s obvious that shepherd values what sarnax has to say and cares for him.

because of that, sarnax saying that he will die in barovia (specifically that he doesn’t “believe [he has] a place back in avantris” and that “whatever it is that [they] achieve here will be [his] end” because he has “seen it in the flames”) and shepherd’s reaction hits even harder for me.

shepherd says “i’m not gonna leave you. i’m not gonna leave anyone.”

and sarnax replies “then it will be i that leaves you.”

it’s the shortest exchange, but it holds so much weight. sarnax has accepted his fate, possibly long before this. but when before sarnax took charge and led the group, shining his light, he steps back, realizing shepherd is the one who (he thinks) fits that role. he still guides, but he doesn’t lead, and he believes shepherd should. but shepherd doesn’t. shepherd’s used to following orders, as we see so many times with him and clayton (but also him and sarnax), and struggles to make decisions for the group — when they ask him where they should go, shepherd seemingly blanks and he just picks whatever as fast as he can (to get the pressure off him, i assume). and despite this, shepherd’s line reinforces what sarnax thinks: a good shepherd doesn’t leave his sheep behind, he goes after and, well, shepherds them.

and honestly the whole relationship between shepherd and sarnax. them being regarded as monsters by others, being dehumanized by, for example, vascha [?] thinking shepherd is a devil and esmeralda calling sarnax shepherd’s pet ->

shepherd answers, understably upset, “he’s not my pet, he’s a person!” i figured sarnax felt the same way, but when he was praying to gherix, he referred to shepherd as “a vessel for [gherix’s] wrath.” so that raised a question to me: does sarnax truly care for shepherd (in the way shepherd does), or does he view him as a tool? it’s interesting to think about. it could be him truly caring about shepherd and seeing him as a capable person who will have a great role in his god’s plans which, i imagine, is among the highest of honors — the first possibility in the question, but filtered through the lens of sarnax’s religious perspective (which i think is the most likely and most compelling)

and there’s the parallel with them being connected to gold and silver dragons: different, but the same. (unrelated tangent but there’s also a very interesting parallel between shepherd being chosen by the silver dragon [‘good’] and victoria being chosen by strahdanya [‘bad’])

sarnax saying “silver will unite with gold” is, on the surface, about the two dragon-gods involved in the story. but i think, on a deeper and probably unintended level, it also applies to shepherd and sarnax growing closer (as they have been since the prologue, following in the footsteps of their respective dragons, and shepherd connecting the two dragons by his faith in gherix and affinity to the silver dragon.

i think that’s everything! hopefully i wont post this and immediately remember something i didn’t mention

thank you for reading all of this <33

#hopefully the order (not chronological) i wrote this in (and the whole thing in general) makes sense #idk. curse of strahdanya my beloved #yes i did transcribe the majority of the sarnax shepherd conversation #on paper because my notes app kept crashing whenever i tried to write a single word #im so normal about them #curse of strahdanya #sarnax of the edelwood #silas shepherd morgan #silas ‘shepherd’ morgan #kana soyokaze #victoria isaacs #legends of avantris #not art #media analysis #-> maybe #jade rambles

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ixcaliber · 2 years ago

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April

This month I’m going to try not to lose my mind a little bit as I write this post. Fingers crossed.

1. The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog

The best kind of april fools joke is one where there is an actual thing of substance to it and it stands on its own as something that could just exist outside of the idea that it’s a funny april fools joke.

The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog is a free visual novel with platformer elements, and it’s a lot of fun. Even as someone who doesn’t know every sonic character, doesn’t get some little background references and cameos this is a fun game with a fun narrative and satisfying payoff.

The platformer elements are like abstractions, little tasks to be completed which if successful indicate the player character having successfully thought their way through to the conclusion of the argument they want to make. It’s a little abstracted but it works well enough in the game. Some of the later bits are actually quite tough but there are accessibility options for anyone who needs them.

Lot of fun. Absolute recommendation.

2. You Are Dough

A new tiny experience from npckc (a year of springs). Playable in browser. Good illustration of a concept. Exactly as long as it needs to be.

3. Gexfeld

A game about nothing.

It’s a game where you traverse awkward geography and listen to the same unfunny jokes again and again as you struggle with the awkward controls. It feels user hostile in a very intentional way and combines these two completely disparate elements in a way that works surprisingly well to showcase what feels like thinly veiled contempt of its source materials. Maybe I’m reading too much into a game about nothing but still.

4. I Want To Pursue The Mean Side Character

Very short and straightforward visual novel about girls being gay for each other. Character deisgn is cute. It’s a little too predictable and simplistic for it to really leave any lasting impression. But it I am always happy to see girls being gay and happy together.

5. Magic Mirror Hall

Short visual novel about seeing an established relationship from an outsider’s perspective. It was interesting to play through as the choices really did make me feel conflicted in how best to handle a situation I was only tangentially part of.

The game does a really good job at evoking the idea of a world with the little snippets that you learn about magic and how it relates to the psyche of an individual delivered in a naturalistic manner.

6. Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands

Playing this game for the first time was like the arrested development dead dove meme. I was excited to play it as I had fond memories of Assault on Dragon Keep (a Borderlands 2 DLC from which this is spun off) and it just never crossed my mind what a full game based on this concept would mean.

It feels weird to say it out loud but I think the thing that I like the most about Borderlands is the setting itself. And some of the characters also I guess. It’s not the gameplay, aesthetic, sense of humour or tone.

In this you’re playing a character playing a game of Bunkers and Badasses DMed by Tina and so instead of the borderlands worlds and their strange worlds and varied creatures you are exploring the wonderlands, a generic fantasy world with generic fantasy monsters.

It really was a case where if I’d thought about it I would have concluded that this would be what the game was but I hadn’t and so it felt a little disappointing, especially since your party for this game are two new characters who I never quite warmed to as much as you would hope given their prominence.

Frette and Valentine are supposed to be there to represent the extremes of ‘follow the rules of the game’ and ‘roleplay and do what you want’, but I never read them this way until they have an entire conversation where they explicitly state that that is their whole thing. I mean rule of comedy has them both ignoring the rules whenever they want. The vibe I initially had was that Valentine was supposed to be like the charisma character who attempts to befriend and seduce every character he meets and Frette was supposed to be playing a murderhobo.

And this reading isn’t supported by the game either but it makes more sense to me in theory at least. Then the conflict between them is more about connecting to the world and the people in it than whether or not a rule that we as the players don’t know anything about because it’s just a game mechanic - or not even a game mechanic it’s a narrative abstraction of a game mechanic - isn’t being followed.

Also the character customization kinda sucks and despite giving myself cat ears I still couldn’t really manage to make a character who looked appealing. Also I think having custom characters of set character classes is just a fundamentally worse way of doing it. It makes the character you play as feel completely hollow as they say the most generic quips.

I picked Sporemancer or whatever. I had a little mushroom buddy, which seemed cute when I was picking the class but when it got to playing the game I quickly realized that they not only weren’t cute their main thing would be farting to get enemy aggro and while useful it means that 90% of things my character said were reactions to my mushroom farting.

That said as I continued through the game there were a couple of areas (the beanstalked village, the empty ocean) that were actually pretty memorable and interesting to explore.

The thing that got me interested was how the villain of the setting The Dragon Lord always talked about Tina and seemed to bear a personal grudge against her and it got me thinking about Spec Ops The Line. Spec Ops The Line is the game I hold emblematic of the brief trend to make a game that makes you do a bunch of bad things and then calls you out for it and while I do like that specific game I did always used to think, ‘if we’re bad for playing it what does it say about the people making it’.

There are some pretty good moments with The Dragon Lord, where he points out for example that you’re just a pawn in Tina’s game as well. Despite the conceit of the game (you’re the fatemaker the one person in the wonderlands with free will) you don’t actually have free will, you can’t reject the main story to kill the Dragon Lord you can only either do it or ignore it.

He mentions that you’re essentially interchangable, an unremarkable cipher just to play the role of hero so the other characters can exist and do things and brings up that nobody has ever said your name, and it’s true. I mean it’s partially true because you’re given a free prompt to enter whatever name you want (I chose Piss because I was annoyed at the time or something. Look sometimes I just do things and there are no reasons) but it does touch something true about the experience.

Of course we could never have Valentine advocating trying to talk things out, befriending or seducing people because as ever the only verb that Borderlands has is kill. It would be incongrous if he said anything that made you try to connect to the Wonderlands as a world because by the very mechanics of the game you never can and never will be able to do so.

The end was a let down. All this stuff about the nature of the game that I’ve been enjoying for the last few paragraphs, I think it got in the game on accident because they definitely don’t seem to want you to agree with the Dragon Knight. If I’d have been writing this game I would have done some absolutely wonderful bullshit at the end. It could have been so good. I’m seriously considering writing fanfic of it.

7. Sonic Frontiers

It would be difficult to make a sonic game worse than Sonic 06 but they certainly tried.

I wanted to like it and conceptually I don’t think it’s unsalvageable. But the problems are significant and numerous including the aesthetic, the jank, whether or not this is a 3d sonic game or a 2d sonic game in a trenchcoat, the basic act of navigation, sonic’s deathwish, the combat, the characterization and the fucking pinball.

Chapter One: The Aesthetic

Its awful. That’s it. That’s the end of this chapter. You all have eyes you can see for yourself how it clashes with Sonic, how it looks like the kind of premade assets you’d see in an asset store with a bunch of sonic objects just thrown in at random.

I still think it could have worked, with just some attempt at bridging the gap between Sonic and the world he is inhabiting. A more colourful world, even with the same exact scattershot design would look more coherant. I watched The French Dispatch this month and that’s a great movie, I didn’t think I’d be mentioning it in this post. But there’s a line from that, a quote from the editor of the magazine along the lines of ‘whatever you write make sure it looks like you did it on purpose’ and the aesthetic of Sonic Frontiers looks like an accident. Looks as though the designers spilled a huge box of sonic objects over a pubg map and called it a day.

Or alternately a more muted colour pallete for sonic when he’s in the open world areas. I really think that if he could just match the world he’s in it would feel substantially different.

Chapter Two: The Jank

It’s not as bad as Sonic 06. Which is like the lowest bar I could possibly imagine. I just wanted to say that quickly because like... this isn’t the worst of the problems with Sonic Frontiers. When I talk about the jank I’m talking about glitchy behaviour like when you run up the arm of one of the big enemies and half the time you get to land where you need to and half the time you just get launched off in some other direction. Or phasing through the flippers in the Fucking Pinball section.

It’s definitely there and definitely irritating, but it is one of the lesser problems of the game simply because if the game was running perfectly then none of this stuff would be happening. All of the rest of the problems are fully intended aspects of the game.

Chapter Three: Whether Or Not This Is A 3D Game Or A 2D Game In A Trenchcoat

In the game you have cyberspace levels which are essentially 2d levels that you access them from portals in the 3d world. You might think I’m about to make an argument that these are the real content of Sonic Frontiers but fuck that I hated playing those as well. No my argument is that the 3d is actually an enormous number of tiny 2d levels all jammed together.

I would have thought that the purpose of the numerous boost pads, bumpers and grind rails was to help you navigate around the world. To aid in faster movement between locations. In fact the purpose of these items is to briefly shove you into a 2d platforming sequence that can last maybe just a couple of seconds, maybe a couple of minutes. It doesn’t sound like a huge problem but like okay this is kind of trending into the navigation problem now so lets just start Chapter Four already

Chapter Four: The Basic Act of Navigation

Okay so the reason it’s a big problem is that whenever you want to get anywhere your options are to just run there in a straight line or try one of the speed boosty items around you and sometimes you’ll get lucky and you’ll do a fun little platforming section that also brings you closer to your destination. Most of the time you will do that platforming section and find yourself turned around and further away from where you wanted to go.

Or maybe you’ll notice partway through and want to quickly exit from this diversion and get back to what you were doing. That’s not always an option. If your up high in the air there might be safe gaps you can drop through, but this can also happen on just narrow strips of land which still exist in the open 3d world. It feels so silly when you’re standing in a wide open field but still diligently working along a single line of obstacles instead of just stepping to the side of them even though you should be able to.

The other major problem with navigation is that okay for example the plot needs you to now go and interact with a chaos emerald and it’s over here on the edge of like a peninsula so you work your way along the cliffs to reach it but when you get anywhere near it’s all cliffs too high to possibly go up or maybe the area you need to go to is just way up in the fucking sky. At that point you need to step back look at the exact spot you’re trying to go to and then follow back all the loops and rails and bumpers back to the one spot where you can go to to start the actual trek to the place you want to be. It’s just completely antithetical to open world design. It’s like why is this game open world in the first place anyway.

Chapter Five: Sonic’s Death Wish

This is how I’ve chosen to label the chapter where I talk about how Sonic controls. It’s so strange because like, his turning is somehow both too responsive and too sluggish. It’s most noticeable in the cyberspace levels. I think it’s that he has a surprisingly wide turning circle. He’s responsive at turning but even at walking speed he has to veer around in a wide arc it makes it a real pain if you’re trying to do anything precise.

Attempting to use the boost button in cyberspace levels is more or less a guarantee that Sonic will just shoot off into the void, but there are also places where it feels necessary, where you just need that extra distance that comes from mid-air boosting and the unpredictability of it is so frustrating.

Chapter Six: The Combat

The new combat sort of works sometimes but also doesn’t really work at all. In theory having enemies that take more than just a homing bounce or whatever it is called is a good idea, and the cyloop is an interesting way to add movement to combat. In practice fuck fighting any of these enemies.

Early on the second island I fought a group of about four of the most basic trivial enemies that kept shielding themselves and it’s not as though I was struggling but it felt fiddly and annoying. They made the combat more time consuming, more awkward, but not necessarily more engaging.

The game tries to give you all these skills to unlock to try to engage you with the combat mechanics. But like it’s just buttons to press to initiate a different animation while you’re doing homing bounce combos on an enemy. It even gives you a skill to automate that so you don’t even have to engage with these new skills. That’s how little faith it has in these things. Not to mention a couple of times where I would trigger one of them by accident while trying to evade a fight and then sonic would do this whole wind up and go flying at a enemy who always seemed to be in the middle of an attack animation when sonic got there and you lose so many rings when you get hit. Just an ungodly amount. You can hold up to 400 and that’s about 2 hits most of the time. The combat fucking sucks.

Which is to say nothing of the big titan fights. They have cool soundtracks but god the super sonic mode is almost worse than regular mode. Sonic can’t get hurt in this mode. All the enemies can do is knock you back, force you to watch a little animation of Sonic getting knocked away and then regaining his composure for a couple of seconds. The only thing they can do against you is waste your time. And thats exactly what the fights feel like, a complete waste of time. Sit there with the parry buttons held down until the enemies do an attack then button mash until it gets ready to attack again and do that over and over again and then add in some quicktime events and you’re done.

The second titan fight is when I think I went from thinking this was a bad game to thinking this was absolutely abysmal. Second titan fight has you climbing up a tower in the open world, jumping onto a magic ribbon that runs parralel to the titan, running along this to keep up for an inordinately long amount of time, until you can get to its head. Then you get the chaos emerald and enter the fight proper. You fly around after the thing, dodging missiles, parrying attacks and attacking when you can. Around and around this island and then when it was down to 25% health it did some kind of qte attack on me and I start button mashing the appropriate button just like in the last titan fight only to die instantly. This was a new type of qte the game hadn’t shown me before, introduced five minutes (i timed how long the fight took on my next attempt and five minutes is a conservative estimate) into this boss fight. And the kicker is that it puts you right back there at the beginning in the open world to do everything I just listed above again.

Chapter Seven: The Characterization

Maybe I got spoiled by The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog. I didn’t like any of the characterization in this one. Every little conversation between Sonic and his friends felt weirdly stilted and unnatural. I wasn’t given any impression that these people willingly hang out with Sonic even once. And it’s kind of funny that like each of the first three islands is about giving one of Sonic’s friends a moment of reflection, to consider what they want to do with their lives and let them express their interiority, and each one of them expresses the desire to go and do something else away from Sonic. About the only plot beats I could actually agree with.

Which is to say nothing of Sage and Robotnik. Every time they had a cutscene it was essentially the same cutscene. Robotnik says ‘let me out of this accursed cyber dimension’ and Sage says ‘no it’s too dangerous but i won’t tell you what the dangerous thing actually is and you won’t even consider asking me about it’ and Robotnik says ‘nevermind that let me out of this accursed cyber dimension’. Repeat for most of the game. Except for that one cutscene where a bunch of helicopters attack Robotnik for some reason and Sage blows them all up really easily and nothing of any consequence actually happens why does this cutscene even exist.

The funniest part of this whole relationship is that Robotnik spends the entirety of the game not showing the slightest acknowledgement of Sage as a person, he talks to her like he’s talking to Amazon Alexa or whatever and then when she gets blown up in space he’s suddenly like ‘my dearest daughter i’m so incredibly sad about your death’.

And don’t get me wrong when I say these things are funny they’re not really actually funny in the moment. Everything is too slow and clumsy to land as a joke. The game never really becomes so bad that it’s good.

Like this isn’t a characterization point but I’m not going back and creating a new chapter now, but all that stuff I was saying earlier about getting stuck in a faux-2d level every time you hit a bumper or whatever. It’s a problem if you’re trying to navigate the world as quickly as possible, but hypothetically if you’re just running around for the fun of it or trying to collect the collectibles then surely having lots of platforming challenges to stumble into is good.

And I’m not going to argue that that isn’t good. Its just that as the game went on I started to notice more and more how long the game would go without needing any input from me, as it bounced sonic around and through loop de loops and all kinds of cool spectacle, i’d notice that I could take my hands off the controller for like ten/twenty seconds, sometimes more and it started to feel empty like I’d have more or less the same experience just watching the game autoplay through these segments.

I got to the point where everything about the game had worn out its welcome; the story, the combat, the platforming, the open world, the cyberspace worlds, basic navigation, just getting collectibles. Nothing felt good. Nothing was what I wanted. That’s when it was time to play the fucking pinball.

Chapter Eight: The Fucking Pinball

At the end of the third island right before the titan your last task is to play pinball and score five million points. Honestly I could make a number list of all the ways in which this pinball minigame is fucking abysmal but I’m going to try to restrain myself, which means making all the same complaints but without the extra bit of unnecessary structuring I suppose.

The score you need to hit is so fucking high. You very quickly notice you’re not wracking up points in the thousands. You need to hit the red coins that appear to get a x2 multiplier and then a x4 and so on up until you get a x255 multipler whereupon you’re actually getting some decent points. The multiplier will reset to zero if your ball... falls down the pinball hole. I don’t know the pinball terminology you know what I mean. The length of time you have to play this pinball minigame, which by the way is completely mandatory you cannot proceed with the game until you reach this absurdly high score in this stupid minigame, is just unconscionable.

It does not help matters that the board is so basic. There are just some bumpers up at the top, a pair of paddles and little bouncy things in most of the walls. No switches to flick on for combos. No little holes to go into. I don’t know pinball terminology but anyone who has played a decent pinball table knows you need more than this, especially if you’re going to be forcing people to spend like five to ten or longer minutes playing this horrible pinball.

It doesn’t help that when you do finally hit this high score the pinball continues and the game declines to give you any more instruction. At this point you need to hit the pinball to a small hole that has opened at the top of the board which is the real win condition. If you gutter at this point, or just quit out because you think you’re done, then it’s time to start the entire thing over again.

This was the breaking point where I decided this was one of the worst games I’d ever played. I made a post comparing it to We Happy Few, and yeah it has less abhorrent sexual abuse victim blaming than that game does but moment to moment I had less fun playing this. It was more difficult to get me to want to sit and play this video game than WHF. I hated this game. Good fucking god.

8. The Birdcage

A little puzzle game I played on my tablet. It consists of about 25 different little birdcages each one has a bunch of little mechanical puzzles to solve which will eventually grant you a key you use to open the cage and free the bird.

It feels reminscent of something like The Room, but in a much more simplified form. There was only one or two puzzles that were complicated enough that I had to stop and think and not just operate on first instinct. But its neat enough if you just enjoy the tactile feel of operating a machine, opening compartments and pulling levers etc. I feel like I’m damning this game with faint praise but I did enjoy my time with it.

9. Pizza Tower

Pizza Tower is an incredible indie platformer with an emphasis on speed and precision imputs. I’m sort of bad at both of those aspects but even so there’s still so much here to appreciate. For one thing the character designs and the animations are incredible in their expressiveness and exaggeration. There’s nothing I can say about that that can’t be better conveyed by just watching this man start running and build up to top speed.

The design of the levels is also really neat. Each level has a main phase and then at a certain point you will encounter a John Pillar (i still wonder if John Pillar is a pun or a joke i just don’t get somehow) you will have to break which starts the escape phase. Everything ramps up in intensity and a countdown timer starts ticking down. It’s such a good design, with enough leniency in timing to allow those who aren’t as good at the mechanics time enough to get to the exit, but those who have mastered Peppino’s robust controls to complete an entire second lap.

The variety present in the levels is really good. Each level has some kind of gimmick. Either some element not present in others, some transformation for Peppino or maybe the presence an ally such as Gustavo and his enormous rattie friend Brick, or Mort the Chicken from the video game of the same name. Every level feels fun and unique in some way.

The boss fights are mostly very fun. I kind of struggled the most with Pepperman (the first boss) because of the one phase where you have to hit him while he’s in the air and I never quite worked out the timing to do so with any regularity. Every boss in this game has at least one hidden health bar and this is probably the first game I’ve played where I don’t think of that as a negative.

The first phase of every boss fight is fairly simple and mostly there to acclimatize you to the mechanics of the fight before the second phase really goes wild with it. The fourth boss (who I will not name for spoilers) was the most enjoyable in the whole game for me. I realized with every new attack I was surviving to that I was laughing out loud as I dodged and weaved through this incredibly chaotic battle.

I had heard about how good a game Pizza Tower was and I had sort of held off on it because a lot of the discussion seemed to fixate around like the speed tech of the game and the mastery of the controls. And that’s not something I really find compelling. I’m super glad I gave it a chance though, as there’s a lot to love here that isn’t just in mastery of the systems. Fully expect this to be on my end of the year best games of the year list.

10. I Commissioned Some Bees 3

I played another one of these. As usual my only complaint is that the levels don’t feel arranged in order of increasing difficulty. In fact I got stuck and needed a hint for the last bees on the first three scenes and then had no problem at all locating them on all the rest of the scenes. Remains fun and chill with nice artwork.

11. Pixross

A little picross game I got from a bundle I think. It’s picross but by solving it you also create a little pixel art object or creature or something. My first issue is simple: there’s an animals category and it doesn’t have a foxie in it.

My second issue is less simple. I don’t have to explain picross do I? Well just in case it’s a grid you have numbers at the top and left of each of the rows and columns which tell you how many filled cells there are in each row/column, but more specifically they tell you how many filled cells in a row there are. Like 3,1,3 would be three cells in a line, then one cell on its own, then three cells all with at least one space between them. Yeah I know you’ve played picross before, sorry for overexplaining.

So as an example if I have a row labelled 1, 1, 3. And I have filled a single cell in the row. Lets say its dead in the middle. There’s enough space to the right that that cell could be the first one indicated by the label. If I were doing this manually I’d have to get more information before I could ascertain which of these blocks that cell belonged to. In pixross if a block is complete then it gets crossed off. So if this was one of the two solitary blocks that one would be crossed off automatically and I would be given more information that I wouldn’t necessarily be able to glean through just looking at the board.

It felt like cheating to use this aspect of the way the mechanics worked as a clue. I tried to avoid doing so for the most part, but you kind of can’t help but notice that and it colours how you would proceed even if you try to only proceed using logic that is apparent.

12. Plastic Tape

A very short narrative game by npckc. I’ve mentioned them before. In fact I played a little game of theirs back up at the top of this post. This is one of my favourite of their little games. It’s about a series of phone calls across a number of years and it uses a really neat little framing device and it is playable in browser.

13. Aka

Aka is a cute game that deals with a surprisingly serious topic. It is about a red panda who returns home after war. Its main narrative isn’t immediately apparent, but is primarily about helping ghosts move on.

There are things to like about this one. The design of Aka is great, the design of the big capy is great. The world is pleasant to explore, the characters fun to meet and assist. In theory I like the main thrust of its narrative, though I think it has missteps in how it communicates and unlocks that narrative.

The main gameplay is all about gardening, collecting resources and crafting items, and that isn’t a gameplay style that personally resonates strongly with me. It also in my opinion doesn’t feel like it fits cohesively with what the game is and it quickly feels like you run out of crops to plant and objects to make. The game feels too short to really engage with these mechanics in any meaningful way, and there isn’t really enough things to make and plant to keep someone who was here for these mechanics engaged.

It also felt a little janky to me. Just something about the way it controlled that made it feel a little unpolished. And there were a couple of parts where the game offered me a minigame (the marble run minigame and one of the rhythm minigames) where it just didn’t load no matter what I did.

14. Riven: The Sequel To Myst

I have had a weird relationship with the Myst games. I have played all of them when I was too young to really even be able to solve the puzzles. I have a distinct memory of playing one of the later Myst games and all I was doing was looking up the answers in a walkthrough or hint book or something and then carrying them out. And I wasn’t even really following the story. I distinctly remember thinking something along the lines of ‘why am i playing this I’m not engaging with it on any level’ and giving up.

In 2021 I decided to replay Myst and had a great time (except for the fucking underground maze sequence). I remembered the shape of the island but not any puzzle solutions. I think I maybe also remember trying to fill a real life notebook with all the fireplace panel combinations. I hope that I didn’t actually do that and somebody stopped me.

Anyway so this month I saw the hbomberguy patreon video about Myst and my brain went, oh yeah Riven. I had about the same experience that I had with Myst where as I played it I began to remember the shape of the island but no concrete puzzle solutions. I remember being absolutely convinced that there was a secret area under the lake, under the big rock with the spyglass, that you just needed to find the right combination of levers in the control tower and then the submarine would go into there somehow. I mostly have memories of being stuck, wandering around the island trying to work out what I was supposed to be doing next.

The thing about Riven is its openness is its best feature and also its biggest problem. Like the first couple of hours is fun as you explore the various locations. It’s also a little annoying as each place that you come to you find yourself blocked somehow (a bridge that needs to be extended from the other side, a panel with buttons but no clues as to what to do with it, levers that control things on walkways you can’t reach, a number of eyes that clearly allude to something but what). Its like having a roll of sellotape and you just can’t find the edge to let you start peeling it away. And the most annoying thing about it is that the big puzzle here is you need to close a specific pair of doors behind you and finally you can actually make progress with the rest of the game. It was that simple.

The worst part is being stuck in that part of the game and you’re still learning about how the game works, how the machines you encounter work and what they do and sometimes you just don’t have enough information. If you see a puzzle its really hard to know if you have the knowledge you need and you just need to work out how to apply it or if you just need to close some more doors till you find the rest of the game.

Once you’re going though, the way the game gradually unfolds out and all of the things that you’ve been seeing throughout your playthrough finally become apparent. That’s great. Very few games made me feel as excited to solve a puzzle as when I first arrived at the plateau island and realized what I was looking at. I believe everyone hates the fire marble puzzle but I loved it. It turned the whole geography of the video game into an enormous multilayered puzzle.

Riven kind of is a masterpiece but I wish it was a smoother transition into the complicated puzzles. I will admit that the second time an important location was hidden behind an open door and I struggled and struggled to figure it out was on me though.

#ix plays games #i played two sonic games this month #of course i lost my mind a little bit

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whiskeyswifty · 4 years ago

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#disclaimer: this has nothing to do with current events and if you all haven't figured it out yet i used this webbed site as a reprieve #so i'm not actively ignoring ~events~ i just simply cannot engage 24/7 for my mental health and need to dissociate for a while #and so today i just wanted to rant about something frivilous and unrelated to anything #i try to reserve judgement towards others and how there's no way i could ever know the full extent of what's going on in their life #to lead them to think and say the things theydo #but i gotta say this one little habit of certain people where they dissect and are overly critical of all media depictions of relationships #to the point where everything is abusive to them or unhealthy or irresponsible to represent and 'sends a bad message'#if a relationship has one tiny bit of conflict in it or one party in the relationship displays a single ounce of behavior that isn't #pure angelic devotion to a healthy stable respectful relationship #then these people dub them BAD REP #and i'm like ok it's very clear to me that you have never been in love or in a relationship #because everyone who has knows that love/relationships are a powerful drug and can make peopel do and say things they #never expected to #it turns rational people into people who are blinded by what they want to see or desperate people clinging to what they don't want to lose #it makes people jealous and spiteful and lose their MINDS because love is a HELL of a drug #yes abuse does happen of course and that is always horrible and inexcusable #but most of what these people are being hypercritical isn't abuse #it's just people acting selfishly because they don't understand how to love in a healthy way #or they let themselves see what they want to see because they'd rather take the bad with the good than be alone #idk it's so annoying to me because it's so OBVIOUS these people have never felt romantic love at that level #and i can't SAY that to their face because that's mean and will make them feel bad #but also how do i say to them that being in love is the most alien experience and it turns your brain inside out sometimes #and it's something you can only understand if you've felt that #or been a victim of love's blinders and emotional amplifiers and so on #and i do think it's important to show unhealthy relationships especially ones that start out happy to show that this is what it can look lik #and maybe you can recognize your own relationship turn from a happy one to a sad one and get yourself out of it #unhappy does not equal abuse or trauma #sometimes love just falls apart or evolves or people just change and grow apart #anyway yes this is about certain people on this webbed site and i guess this is a vague #also if i interact with you on a reg basis or at all really this is absolutely NOT about you its about people who don't know i exist lol

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diorjadore · 3 years ago

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Clothes Stay On — Vinnie Hacker

—

Pairing/s: Vinnie Hacker x fem!reader

Summary: Vinnie finally grants her wish during the Purgatory release party.

Warning/s: Smut, NSFW, language

Word Count: ~2.4k words

Requested by @thatmultifandomlovingmf !

—

You would like to think that you aren’t the needy girlfriend some people project you to be. Yes, you were affectionate and some moments it would be caught on camera but that was mostly it. What the people outside your relationship, meaning everyone else except for you and Vinnie, see through the little snippets, they would be quick to brand you as touchy, thirsty even. The both of you know this as barely true because you had academics prioritized and Vinnie his social media career so your time spent together were scarce. That’s why you cherish every second when you’re in the presence of each other.

So when your boyfriend had been busy the whole week due to the upcoming release of Purgatory’s Gate 4, you couldn’t help but become that girlfriend. You hadn’t seen him a week before due to conflicting schedules and the long drives between your university and his house were just too long. You wanted him, his body on yours, and you needed to get your fill desperately, immediately.

He had picked you up from your residence hall on the day of the party at Malibu, the both of you were excited to finally be in each other's space. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” Vinnie muttered while his eyes were focused on the road. You agreed but your mind was on something else. You were on edge the whole day, the pit in your stomach and the wetness from your core all brought frustration.

“Baby, do you want head?” You suddenly pleaded and he looked at you amused. You shifted on your seat to slightly face him, pressing your legs together.

“Has my girl missed me that much?” He teased, looking at you as his eyes were full of lust. Sure, sometimes you Facetime each other and pleasure yourselves on call but that barely gets the job done.

“Yeah and your dick too. I haven’t touched myself since last week, you know.” You confessed, wanting him to understand your situation. Vinnie found it sexy how desperate you were for him and his dick that you would take him in the car. You brought your hand to stroke his leg and pressed on his hard member. He jumped a bit and let out a shaky breath.

“Anything for my baby.” He smirked as you unbuttoned his pants almost immediately. His cock sprung out with a little bit of pre cum. You swiped your index finger on his slit as you collected some of it and you licked your finger clean. Vinnie gulped at the sight, blushing. He rarely gets to see this side of you as he’s usually the one that dominates in the bedroom.

“Don’t tease, Y/n.” He warned. You began to stroke his shaft slowly and you felt it get even harder. Veins protruding as his tip became bright red. Sometimes you would twist and tug on it, too. Then, without warning, you bent down to the side and took him in your mouth. He almost swerved from the sudden action. He thanked his past self for tinting the windows dark because he only dreamed of heated moments like this.

“So good, baby girl.” He complimented you as you bobbed your head up and down. You hummed in response and it caused Vinnie to roll his eyes and exhale loudly. Groans and the faint music from the radio were the only things heard in the tiny space. You took him by surprise by hollowing your cheeks and sucking hard.

The car suddenly felt too hot for your boyfriend as he was nearing his orgasm. “Princess, I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop, please, Y/n.” He said while moaning. You increased your pace and brought his tip deeper in your mouth down to your throat. Without warning, he came in your mouth as you sucked and swallowed all of it, licking his cock clean. You missed his taste and warmth deeply as it just made you wetter than before. You swore you even felt yourself dripping from your lace underwear and jean shorts.

“Wanna stop somewhere? I wanna return the favor.” He offered but you refused and just kissed him on the cheek. You’ve always loved how he wants to pleasure you as well.

“Maybe later, we have a party to go to.” What he didn’t know was that you had another plan in mind.

You got to the beach house on time as the guests were starting to arrive. Liza did a great job decorating. When she saw the both of you, she insisted that you wear the pieces and so you did. Vinnie doing the same.

It was fully dark out and it matched the room you and his friends were in. Clouds of smoke from weed and vape mixed in the air and the select few inside were high out of their minds, not even knowing what’s about to go down. You and Vinnie still had a grip on reality. You were still horny though so you scooted closer to him and covered the both of you in pillows. You grabbed his hands and guided it to the inside of your hoodie. He massaged your right breast and tugged on your nipples, his warm touch sending sparks down to where you needed him the most. Due to you being sensitive the whole day, it almost made you moan. You snaked your hand down to his sweatpants and stroked his dick, sometimes you would lightly trace your finger on his veins and then squeeze his hard cock.

You moaned quietly in his ear and bit his earlobe, you tested further and even left a wet kiss on his neck. He removed his right arm around you and brought it to your front, grabbing your pussy feeling the wetness.

“God you’re so wet.” His tone was almost like a question as he looked at you in disbelief. He began to collect your juices from the bottom to the top, massaging your clit softly. His cold fingers were a nice contrast to your heat.

“All for you, daddy.” You innocently teased and removed your hand from his sweatpants and guided Vinnie’s fingers on your vagina. Both of your fingers pleasuring you as you were nearing your first orgasm of the night. You bucked your hips but not enough to draw attention.

Something caught your eye though as you saw Hub staring intently at the two of you. He was shifting in his seat trying to ease his discomfort. If someone else were to see the both of you, they would react the same way too. You smirked at him and whispered to your boyfriend. “Hub’s enjoying this as well.” You peppered his neck with wet kisses while looking at the boy in front of you.

You thought Vinnie liked the idea just as much as you did but you were wrong. He removed his hand from your sweatpants and grabbed your hand to get out of the room. You were already so close to your release.

Vinnie found a bathroom and he pushed you inside, locking the door behind him. “You’re such a slut, huh? You knew he was watching, weren’t you?” His words seethed with lust and anger. His eyes were almost dark.

You didn’t reply so he spoke again. “Well too bad he can’t fuck you dumb like I do.” He turned you around on the sink as you can see him from the mirror. You were so out of it that usually you would be scared for what happens next but this time you were just smirking.

He sucked on the side of your neck hard, sure to leave hickeys, as he pressed himself to your ass so you could feel his dick getting hard again. “Feel what you do to me, baby? Do you feel my dick against your ass? You love how hard it is for you, huh?” He choked you making you gasp for air when he let go.

He pulled down your pants as he grabbed your wet core from behind. “So fucking wet for me. Such a fucking whore.” He continued to feel your soft skin as he kneeled down to remove your underwear. Your pussy was glistening with your juices that some even dripped down to your leg and underwear.

You let out a pornographic moan when he ate your pussy from the back. Your hands were pressed on the sink as his tongue fucked your hole. All you could see from the mirror was your desperate face begging to be pounded into hard. “Please daddy, I fucking want your big cock.” You whined but that just angered Vinnie more. His tongue continued to lap at your opening as he entered two fingers in you. You wanted to melt then and there or just make him take you on the floor.

His fingers pumped in and out of you faster as his other hand held your hips and hoodie to prevent it from falling down your ass. He slapped your ass causing a sharp sound and feeling that you bucked your pussy down to his face. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.” You moaned out as he removed his fingers and spread your legs apart, his face almost in between you. He sucked harder as you rode his face back and forth, catching your release. He was generous enough to let you cum on his face because honestly, it was something else. He can’t see your face but he knows from your whimpers how scrunched up your face is from the overwhelming pleasure.

He stood up again and his mouth and chin were shining from your cum. You turned around and kissed him hungrily, tasting yourself. “Taste how sweet you are, baby girl?” He smirked and pressed your bare cunt on his sweatpants. The friction turns you on and he puts you on the granite counter, the coolness of it right under your pussy sending shivers to your body.

“Yes, daddy.” You said while looking up at him. He grabbed your face and kissed you. His hands wandering around your body as he pushed your hoodie up but not removing it from your body. He squeezed your boob and tug on your nipple causing you to gasp as he then used this as a way to push his tongue in your mouth. You could barely keep up from his actions as you were a moaning mess under his touch. He found his way down to your chest and just sucked on it, you pushed his face further into your boobs wanting to feel all of him, his tongue on your skin. Both of your mounds were soaking in his saliva. He took one of your nipples in his teeth and tugged on it as you moaned loudly, not caring about the people who can hear from the outside.

He somehow had enough of your boobs as he removed you from the countertop and turned you around to face the mirror again. You were about to remove your clothes but he objected. “The clothes stay on, baby. Keep it.” You obliged as you saw from the mirror how he spit on his hand and tugged on his dick, stroking it a few times before putting it in you.

Your eyes rolled back from the needed fill as you moaned once again. “I missed your cock, daddy. So hard only for me. I can feel you in my tummy.” You whined out trying to encourage him more.

“Uh, huh. Feels good, princess?” He agreed as he started pounding into you fast and hard. Your warm walls were engulfing him as he can see it open and close around his dick. He pushed your back down as you were now bent over. Just your hands gripping the counter for support. His left hand on your shoulders and his right hand gripping your hips hard, it hurts a little bit and you know he’ll leave bruises soon enough. The both of you started to bounce in rhythm as you saw him with his eyes closed from the mirror, chest heaving up and down.

“Pussy so tight, doll. I could fucking stay inside you forever.” He complimented you and your body. “This pussy’s mine, you hear me? No one can have it but me.” His possessiveness getting the best of him.

He suddenly slapped your ass in punishment. “That’s for letting Hub see us.” His anger was starting to show through his heavy thrusts. You just moaned in agreement.

He slapped you again. “And that’s for not letting me eat you out a while ago.” He growled in frustration. The heavy breathing and skin slapping noises just made the both of you hornier.

“Vinnie, I’m close.” You breathed out as you reached for his hand but he just grabbed both of it, pulling it to him and pounding into you faster making you clench and moan. You couldn’t contain your whimpers anymore as the pleasure was too much for you to handle. You didn’t care if they could hear how Vinnie murdered your vagina.

“Oh, yeah? Don’t until I tell you so.” He wanted to chase his high with you. At this point in time, you were impressed by how you could still keep it together. You were dizzy and the room was hot, moisture could be seen through the glass and mirror. The bathroom even smelled of sex.

“Let me fuck some babies into you, doll. You want that, baby?” He breathed out as you nodded.

“Yes, daddy. Please cum in me. Please cum in my tight pussy, it’s yours.” You whined. The thought of Vinnie’s warm cum filling you up made you go crazy.

“Take it like the good girl that you are. You fucking deserve my kids in you.” He ordered.

His thrusts got sloppier and he was out of rhythm but he still pounded into you hard. You felt his dick twitch so you took matters into your own hands and slammed your ass back on him repeatedly. You’re so near your release as you sped through it, screaming. Finally, you came on his dick and clenched hard. This alone sent Vinnie in a spiral as he shot his hot seed deep into you. A couple more spurts as some of it trailed down your legs. He slowed down his movements but still not pulling out of you as he kept fucking his semen deeper. He could feel your and his cum sloshing around as he finally pulled out, missing the warmth that is your cunt. His dick falling limp and your vagina sore from the lack of contact. Vinnie collected some that leaked out and fucked it back to your gaping hole using his fingers.

Usually, he would wipe you down but he found it would be hot to mess with you and just put your underwear back on. Both of your cum just sitting there as you tried hard to clench and keep it inside. The both of you regained strength and stabilized your breathings as he kissed you on the lips.

“You did so good, my love. Always taking me so well.” He praised you and kissed your cheek, forehead, and lips as you smiled weakly at him. Your cheeks were flushed and beads of sweat on both your foreheads were evident.

He thought you were done for as he just fucked the living shit out of you but he grew hard again when you innocently said: “Can I get another round later when we get home, daddy?”

You’re gonna be the death of him.

—

Author’s Note: see yall in hell. First time writing smut yurrrr also y/ns a trooper for taking it in d bathroom when there r whole ass bedrooms lol also check my other works tho 👀

#iaswritings #vinnie #vinnie hacker #vhackerr #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker x reader #vhackerr x reader #vinnie smut #vinnie hacker smut #vhackerr smut #fanfic #fanfiction #fiction #writing

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dairy-farmer · 2 years ago

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Bruce, dick, jay, and dami all get sent back to the past for some reason and they just decided to kidnap tiny timmy from his home and drop him in Wayne Manor. They think it's all good-- they're just getting Tim a bit earlier than expected, but isn't that a good thing? Only thing is, when they get back to the present, the find out that Jason never died and now he's with Timmy romantically and Damian's constantly trying to steal Tim from him.

they're like high-fiving on the welcome mat while little timmy stares up at them with his chubby cheeks all confused about what's happening. bruce is on his knees beside them and telling tim it'll be okay and that the man inside will take good care of him from now on.

in some distant way they know what they're doing is wrong, messing with time tends to bring some pretty catastrophic consequences BUT this isn't like they're doing something big. they're doing what's going to happen anyway just a little earlier. the biggest change that could possibly happen is just that tim will be part of their family sooner. their tim is back in the present and they're all certain that when they return everything will be different but better.

because they all know their relationship with tim is a bit strained. jason and damian had both tried killing tim, dick had felt as the distance between them grew wider and wider, and bruce noticed how tim didn't come to him as much anymore. tim used to bring little success and excited words about the things happening in his life but now he was silent about everything that didn't relate to the mission.

bruce learned about tim getting his GED weeks after it happened from one of the interns at WE who'd been at the office party to celebrate it. bruce hadn't known there was an office party. he hadn't gotten an invite.

so when bruce slips while disarming a temporal device in the cave where the rest of his sons were and gets them all sent back several years in the past...well...

it's at a time where jason is still active as robin and both he and the bruce of the time are out in gotham, dumping them in an empty cave.

bruce knows himself well enough that waiting around for their return will just cause problems so he leads his boys out through another passageway. one that leads out onto the woods. where they can see the manor and another house in the distance.

from there bruce doesn't really register the impact of what he's doing, breaking into that house where there's no security alarms attached to the windows, doors, or anything.

tim is so tiny, his snores are completely inaudible as he's curled up in a bed that makes him look far too tiny. he's almost the size of the bid teddy bear that he's wrapped around.

bruce just stares at that little child and then at his sons who's eyes hold the same yearning and grief at the sight of the little lamb who has strayed from his flock.

bruce drapes tim with one of his blankets before leaving him on the doorstep of the manor. they're on a time limit and can already feel their bodies starting to dissolve like they had at the beginning of the journey. bruce doesn't install security camera pointed to the front door for a few more years so bruce s certain their presence will go undetected and all that will be left will be the sweet boy blinking sleep out of his eyes sitting on the front steps of the manor.

time travel is weird, there are so many different forms of it. paradoxical, loop, self-fulfilling, diverging, continuity.

with the change they'd made bruce was sure their actions would fall under a diverging time line.

their tim may be lost to the wind but that doesn't mean there can't be a bruce out there who does the right thing and takes in a child who desperately needs a home.

only bruce gets it wrong because when they're back in their time he's suddenly hit with conflicting memories of coming back from patrol one day and finding alfred fussing over a yawning little boy.

'on the front steps, master bruce! abandoned like a box of kittens! i looked up and down the street but couldn't find anyone master bruce, i've no idea where he came from!'

alfred is particularly beside himself which is a sight given that bruce rarely sees him lose his compusure. but a child abandoned on their front steps really is something that had bruce's parental concern rising.

bruce recalls how he reached out for dick, desperate for his help when alfred fell ill with pneumonia bad enough to be hospitalized. bruce was one man with two young children and an ill father and at first dick had returned to gloat and laugh but then he saw how bad alfred looked and how stressed bruce was.

bruce remembered how grateful he was when alfred started getting better. how dick was still giving him the silent treatment but helping by driving jason to school and helping with tim who they discovered was their neighbor. bruce had temporary custody while his parents were being investigated. a child home alone and somehow ending up 5 miles away on the doorstep of their closest neighbor?

what if he'd gotten hypothermia? what if he'd gotten hurt? been hit by a car? or kidnapped.

it's a hard thing to come to terms with as memories that both are and aren't his flash through his mind.

part of him is filled with grief and pain at the memory of jason's death but it never happened here. in this life.

where jason was applying to college's after taking a year to travel around and develop his own mantle.

jason whose body had never known death and only love as tim followed after him. photos of them at the pyramids of egypt, the temple of athena in greece, tokyo tower in japan. pictures of them that grew closer and closer until they both shyly returned and admitted to having started a relationship while away.

it's a startling thing to remember and recall like he'd lived it.

bruce can see as jason, whose face is somehow softer and younger standing in workout clothes he hadn't been wearing before.

he's flushed red up to the tips of his ears and bruce can only imagine what memories are filling his brian.

continuity changes from time travel are easy fixes. it's a matter of just going back and stopping the event that catalyzed the change.

bruce has booster gold on speed dial for that exact reason.

but for some reason his hand is reaching for the phone.

the door at the top of the stairs leading down to the cave opens and bruce can see as tim, as sweet looking as he always is in bruce's memory comes down.

bruce knows that tim is currently debating the idea of college since jason's set to start soon and jason has already said he can't pack tim away in a suitcase and bring him with him much to both of their disappointment. (not damian's though, damian was more than happy to see jason leave given that ever since he started puberty he's gotten quite the crush on tim).

tim looks...happier. his cheeks are fuller, he's smiling, there are no dark circles under his eyes, his eyes are glittering with joy as he spots all of them.

bruce should be calling up booster. he should be trying to fix this because this was not the diverging timeline he'd intended.

but...

he doesn't.

not that day or the next one or the day after that.

bruce never calls to the "problem" "fixed".

but...

then again. neither does anyone else.

#anonymous #asks #answered asks

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thebibliosphere · 3 years ago

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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After.

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting.

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom.

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man.

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms...

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful.

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

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thelaithlyworm · 2 years ago

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Love Like The Galaxy

“looking forward to your thoughts on 48. see you on the other side!“ ( @uchihasass )

Episode 48 was indeed a m a z i n g. This visuals, the gathering storm, that tense spoken confrontation at the Marquis’s birthday party that explodes when Ling Buyi throws off his cloak! That they chose some discretion in the fight scene and pulled back to show the blood spattering on the windows (because the big mook fight was not the main event and it gives the audience a breather before the next big gory event. (Good heavens, Ling Buyi’s blood-spattered face.)

And I’d adored the build-up as Niaoniao begins to realise what’s happening and sends out a quiet messenger to confirm what’s going on and, and - she’s acquired a lot of subtlety. And that scene where her mum and dad are talking about how there’s kind of an ominous air about her and at the same time we can see her and the wedding attendants through the window just quietly doing the preparation thing...? They had a really good cinematography team here, a good eye, they take the time to set things up nice.

The bit where I started crying was when Niaoniao is about to head out on a horse - and then her entire family gears up and fights the blockade so she can get through. For a girl who starts the story completely estranged from her family, this is a powerful moment.

I’m now on ep 50 where she has, once again, saved Ling Buyi’s life, but doesn’t want to ever forgive him for, er, not letting her die with him.

And like a lot of conflicts in this story, I can absolutely see where both sides are coming from. He loves her. He can’t give up his revenge. He doesn’t want her to die. Kill his ‘dad’ before the marriage happens so her and her good family don’t get implicated.... it’s an obvious choice.

Whereas Niaoniao, who has been very lonely for much of her life, very disrespected, in situations where people believe the worst of her, all things which scar her soul, wanted him to understand that she was Ride or Die.

There’s some other things boiling out when she talks to various people about things - her continuing frustration that she, a talent just as much as Luo Ben was a talent, is expected to marry and put all her energy into supporting her husband, that this is the only way her culture will let her advance. That she can’t trust his sincerity, because at multiple times it looked like he was doing things for her, but was also using that as a smokescreen for his other matters.

Yeah, Ling Buyi made his decisions because he loved her very very much.

His actions also... made her feel like something flimsy and disrespected.

“Has he ever been of one heart with me before?”

And she still saves his feral bastard life. (Because he saved hers.) Bless her: she’s got a good heart.

There’s... there’s a lot about relationships in this story, the ones that work, the ones that don’t, about loyalty to the family and how they can support you, and what one owes to the family. So Niaoniao, a spiritual loner, interacting with all these issues, is interesting.

EDIT:

Also... so people act out in this story for two big reasons. 1. They have a pretty cushy life but They Want More. 5th Princess etc. Kind of... super-anxious about losing status or selfish, whatever. And 2. They cannot get justice through the rule of law. Niaoniao with her 2nd Aunt and, once that woman is gone, her mother constantly believing the worst of her (not without cause). Luo Ben, his career constantly sabotaged by his uncle because the minor family should not outshine the main branch. Huo Wushang, who witnessed murder and treason but he’s a tiny child and the only other witness is mad...

I can understand why people start planning private revenge and crooked tricks when the law fails them. It’s still a dangerous road to start on - once one starts doing extrajudicial violence it’s tempting to keep going. Note the bodycount from Luo Ben’s ploy, or Ling Buyi in his status of a law enforcement officer torturing prisoners.

And I think it’s important to note that Ling Buyi spends more than a decade (mostly) trying to assemble his evidence in a (mostly) legal way. Niaoniao, yes, a trickster, who dares to love and hate, learns not to deny her tricks - and she will ask for clemency for people who have actively tried to wrong her. Somewhere, someone, probably 3rd Aunt and the Empress, taught her mercy as well. Perhaps, through the estrangement with her mother, Niaoniao learnt some of her mother’s ideas on justice, too. (They’re trying, okay!)

#love like the galaxy

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the-iceni-bitch · 4 years ago

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Territory Getting Hotter

Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader

Words: ~2.9k

Summary: You’ve made another mess for the Avengers and they find out about your relationship with Captain Danvers

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fe receiving oral sex, use of toys, squirting, overstimulation, light dom aspects), mentions of canon level violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: I love these two!!! Dom!Carol is it you guys, wow. Also, reader is such a massive pain in the ass and I love her for it, I can’t wait to piss off every single Avenger with her antics.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist here!

You beamed at Carol when she walked into the kitchen, still bleary eyed from sleep as she stretched and ran a hand through her hair.

“Hey babe!” You grinned at her. “Guess who made pancakes?”

“You’re the best sweetie.” She murmured, wrapping around your back and nuzzling into your hair. “We’ll make a housewife out of you yet.”

You laughed as she moved to pour herself some coffee when there was a sudden pounding on the front door.

“Danvers!!” A low voice shouted through the door. “Open up, its Rogers!!”

“Shit!” She hissed, looking around frantically as she tried to find someplace to stash you.

“Would you relax?” You said as you rolled your eyes at her. “He has to find out sometime.”

“Yeah, but not today! He already sounds pissed. One second!!” She shouted back, throwing on some sweats. “Just find somewhere to hide, I don’t feel like dealing with this today.”

She moved to open the door as you shook your head at her, weighing your hiding place options.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” She said, nonchalantly as she let him inside.

“What’s up? Have you watched the news yet this morning?” He seethed as he stormed into the kitchen.

“Oh no. What did she do?” Carol said, taking a deep breath and cursing you in her head for whatever shit storm you’d started now.

“I can’t even talk about it, I’m so mad.” He growled, moving to pour himself a cup of coffee without even asking. “Even Stark was pissed, and he’s usually pretty lenient.”

“Uh-huh.” Carol said as she chewed on her lip and nibbled on a piece of bacon.

“She managed to drag Thor into it, too. We may have to move her to a full time handler, one that she can’t corrupt.” He said, starting to calm down a little bit. “We’re having a meeting about it in 30 minutes, just wanted you to be prepared. How would you feel about taking her on?”

Carol heard a snort from somewhere in the apartment and did her best not to whip around to find you. Unfortunately Steve heard it to with his damn super soldier hearing.

“What was that?” He hissed, his eyes darting all over the quarters.

“Uh, my smoke alarm’s been acting up.” Carol muttered, trying to usher him out the door. “I’ll think about it, see you soon!”

She slammed the door closed and started searching for you.

“What the fuck did you do, baby?” She asked, scanning the apartment for you.

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna leave that for a surprise.” She heard from above her head and shot her gaze upwards.

You had somehow managed to wedge yourself into a tiny corner in the ceiling of the hallway leading to her bedroom. She was giving you a disapproving look as you dropped to the floor with a grunt and grinned at her.

“You think you can handle me babe?” You said as you moved to the bedroom to get dressed.

——————————————————————————

The two of you were sitting across from each other in the conference room half an hour later, trying to act like you didn’t fuck each other’s brains out every chance you got.

Or, at least Carol was. You were sliding your foot up the inside of her leg as she glared murderously at you and you just grinned like an idiot. She shook her head at you and turned to look at the giant screen where Tony was pulling up the surveillance footage as the rest of the team gave you exasperated glances.

“Oh, here we go, we’re getting to the good part.” Tony said, giving you a meaningful look as he slowed the footage down. “Now who’s this guy you just punched in the face and then threw across the club like a rag doll?”

“I think that’s the Duke of Edinburgh.” You said with a shrug, leaning back in your chair.

“No, that’s the Duke of Sussex, y’know, the queen’s nephew.” Nat said as she took a long drink of her coffee, looking exhausted.

“Oh shit, really?” You said, still grinning like an idiot. “Whoops.”

“And wait, here’s where Point Break blows all the lights in the club, which he says was your idea, so the two of you can make a run for it.” Stark said when the video suddenly went black.

“We weren’t making a run for it, we were pursuing our suspect.” You said, staring daggers at Thor as he tried to sink into his chair.

“Uh-huh, and did you catch your suspect?” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, he’s in holding right now.” You said with a shrug.

“What?! Why wasn’t that in your report?” Rogers said as he started to dig through the pile of paperwork in front of him.

“I haven’t completed the report yet, Captain Rogers.” You said lightly. “I made sure to update Captain Danvers though.”

“Let’s not get off track, this is about you assaulting a member of the royal family.” Tony said as he tried to redirect the conversation.

“He assaulted me first! He grabbed my ass and made some very ungentlemanly comments about what he would do if he got me in his car.” You said, pouting as you rested your head on your hands.

“He did grab her ass, Stark. I saw it.” Thor piped up before Rogers shot him a look and he went back to inspecting his coffee.

“So you threw him? That seems like a bit of an overreaction.” Tony said with an uncomfortable shrug.

“It’s a reflex, Stark.” You said, your eyes rolling back in your head as the other women frowned at him. “Sorry, I don’t think putting up with sexual harassment is in my job description.”

“Ok, ok fine. Nat, is there anyway you can spin this?” Stark said, turning to Romanoff as she let out a deep sigh.

“Yeah, the man is a pretty notorious dog, shouldn’t be too hard.” She muttered.

“Great! Excellent meeting team, see y’all at the next one!” You said, starting to stand up before Steve turned his attention to you.

“No, we still need to discuss your recklessness, Y/L/N.” He seethed, shooting you a scowl that you returned with a mocking air that had Carol trying to hold back a snort. “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think the best course is to have you under more direct supervision. I considered splitting up you and Odinson but I feel like that would just spread the chaos around after how much you’ve corrupted him.”

You shot a grin and a wink at Thor that he returned as the two of you finally relaxed, but Steve was still talking.

“So, Danvers is going to be accompanying you on your missions now. I feel like her levelheaded attitude is just what’s needed to keep you two in line.” He said with a satisfied smirk.

“Uh, you sure Danvers is the best choice there, Cap?” Tony said whole Nat snickered into her coffee.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?” Steve said as he looked around at everyone’s amused expressions with confusion.

“They’re fucking each other Steve.” Nat said nonchalantly, sending Steve into a spluttering fit as you started cackling and Carol just rolled her eyes and groaned.

“What?!” Rogers roared, his eyes moving frantically between you and Carol as you grinned at him like an idiot. “How long has this been happening?”

“Six months.” Carol said resignedly, taking a gulp of coffee as she shrugged uncomfortably. “Didn’t really feel like dealing with the paperwork.”

“Si... six months?” Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. “And you didn’t think that might be a conflict of interest?”

“Don’t worry Cap, Danvers is quite the disciplinarian.” You said with a wicked grin as you waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

Carol growled at you and gave you a meaningful look, and you just rolled your eyes at her before leaning back on your chair and propping your boots on the conference table.

“Well... shit.” Steve sighed, running his palm over his face in exasperation. “I guess Bucky can probably oversee some of your ops, and I’ll take over the rest of them. What?”

You and Thor both groaned at that, rolling your eyes at each other.

“Just, Barnes? Could you pick a bigger stick in the mud?” You said with a shrug. “I mean, we get it dude. You were tortured by evil scientists for years who turned you into a mindless killing machine, who wasn’t? And, I love you Steve, but do you even drink?”

“Ok, we’re gonna head out now.” Carol said as she frowned at you, stepping between you and Steve before a real fight broke out. “Guess we’ll report to HR as soon as we can.”

“Uh-huh.” Rogers mumbled, pouting a little as she ushered you out of the room.

Nat followed after the two of you lazily, shaking her head at Steve and Tony as Stark and Thor tried to assure the Captain that he was loads of fun to be around and a blast at all their parties.

“Congrats again you two.” She said with a grin as she split down a different hallway to her own quarters.

“Thanks Nat! You ever gonna tell him about you and Wilson?” You yelled after her, laughing when she flipped you off over her shoulder. “Told ya they knew, babe.”

“Yeah.” She mumbled before grinning at you. “So, you beat up a royal?”

“Shit. In my defense, I didn’t know he was a royal until after I threw him.” You said, following her down the hall back to her apartment. “I thought he was just a smarmy asshole.”

“That’s the problem, sweetheart.” She purred over her shoulder. “You never consider the consequences of your actions.”

“That’s all I think about, babe.” You said with a wicked grin as you waited for her to open the door.

“And now you’re dragging poor Thor into your messes.” She tutted, shaking her head at you as she closed the door and stripped off her jacket. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you had a little crush on that himbo.”

“If you didn’t know better?” You beamed at her, starting to unbutton your jeans and step out of your boots. “Honey, he’s a literal god. I have a massive crush on him.”

“Oh, are you trying to make me jealous?” She ripped off her tank top and threw it aside. “Cuz I’m already pissed at you.”

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about it?”

She stepped forward and gripped your jaw tightly, smashing her mouth to yours as she started steering you towards the bedroom. You yelped when she tossed you on the bed, grinning as she climbed on top of you.

“You’re such a bad girl.” She growled at you, ripping your bra off in one quick motion.

You screamed when she slapped your tit harshly, the stinging sensation warming your chest while she bent to open the top drawer of the nightstand.

“I am. I’m fucking horrible.” You gasped as she rifled around. “What are you doing?”

She grinned at you as she straightened back up, holding a set of extra shiny looking restraints.

“These are vibranium.” She cooed as she grabbed your wrists and dragged them above your head, hooking them through the headboard as you panted underneath her. “I stole them from R and D, and there’s no way even you can break out of them.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” You said around a smirk, giving your hands a test yank and nodding appreciatively as Carol shackled each of your feet to the opposing bedposts.

She bit her lip as she stared at you, your legs spread wide over the bed and making your back arch. You moaned as she tore off your panties and slapped your pussy, your muscles twitching as arousal seeped out of you.

“Mmm, you look so good like this.” She mumbled, sliding down until she was laying between your thighs. “Can’t decide whether I should edge you all night or make you come so many times you forget your own name.”

She ran her tongue over your slit in a heavy stripe and you let out a shriek as you came as soon as she reached your clit. She pressed your hips into the mattress as she lashed her tongue against your bundle of nerves, making your legs quiver with the strain of your orgasm.

“Looks like you made my decision for me.” She grinned at you before diving back in.

Her tongue swirled through your folds expertly, sucking your lips into your mouth and humming against you as your pussy started clenching around nothing. She wrapped her lips around your clit and you came again with a sob as your limbs pulled against the restraints, your body trying to arch off the bed.

She shoved her tongue inside you and you screamed as another orgasm crashed over you when her teeth brushed against your tiny bundle of nerves. Carol kept curling her tongue inside you as you vibrated underneath her, moaning as your release flowed into her mouth and soaked her chin.

“Fuck, Carol!” You whined as she sat up between your legs and lightly ran her fingers over your inner thighs. “That was almost too much.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.” She smirked as she watched you panting underneath her, reaching for the bedside table again while you squirmed.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as she pulled out a massive dildo from the drawer of toys. “Is that my stormbreaker? I’ve been looking for that!”

“Yeah, well I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” She murmured before dragging the length on the thing through your slick coated folds, making you keen. “Did you know this thing comes with a thruster?”

“Yeah, why do you think I bought it?” You teased before your eyes rolled back in your head as she shoved it inside you.

She started fucking you with the toy at a punishing pace, grinning as you came apart like putty in her hands. Tears started leaking down your cheeks when she turned the vibrating function on and angled it so it was teasing against your clit with each push.

You whined as she bent over you and wrapped her lips around your nipple and swirled her tongue around it. She grinned against your chest as you tried to arch into her mouth, your restraints still holding you in place.

“Mmm, you gonna come again baby?” She muttered, nipping at the curve of your breast as your body started twitching, your release looming over you as you sobbed wordlessly. “Do it, you look so pretty when you fall apart.”

She twisted her wrist and you shrieked as your pussy fluttered wildly, your release leaking out around the dildo and pooling on her sheets. Your cried as she kept fucking you through it, wet sloshing sounds filling her bedroom as the toy slid in and out of you easily.

You let out an inhuman wail when she turned on the thruster and you felt the tip of the toy punch you in the cervix, coming again immediately as your body writhed wildly.

“Shit, I see why you love this thing.” She smirked as she kissed her way up your chest, still shoving the toy into your overworked cunt as your body went lax, your head polling to the side and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. “You think about Thor fucking you when you use this, babe? Maybe I should bring him in here to fuck you stupid while I watch, would you like that?”

You just mumbled stupidly as your body shook with another orgasm, sinking into the bed in your fucked out state. Her slap snapped you out of it, making you take in a sharp breath as your brain rebooted.

“I asked you a question.” She growled as she twisted the toy again and you let out a low moan.

“I feel like this might be a trap.” You gasped as she palmed at your breast and laid down against your shoulder, still thrusting the toy into you viciously.

“That sounds like a yes to me.” She purred, nuzzling into your neck as she gave the toy a final push.

You screamed as she pulled it out of you suddenly, your release squirting out of you in a violent rush. Your body thrashed violently with the power of your orgasm and Carol cursed as you snapped her headboard and bedposts, the bed frame shuddering before one of the legs gave out and it sank to the floor with a crash.

“Holy fuck, you ok?” She asked, sitting up and grinning at you as she assessed the damage you’d caused.

“Yeah.” You said, swallowing thickly as you moved your limbs with a groan. “At least we know the cuffs work! Sorry about your bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She murmured, grabbing the key and unlocking the restraints before pulling you back against her chest. “We’ll just use yours I guess.”

“Are you gonna move in with me? I think that may give Rogers an aneurysm.”

“He’ll get over it.” She shrugged as you nuzzled into her chest. “Now, how do you think we should approach Thor?”

“What?! You were serious?”

——————————————————————————

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mayraki · 4 years ago

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“enemies?” - jj maybank (2)

-> jackpearcsn’s gif

part 1

summary: they both have to deal with the consequences of the night before, leading them to realize that maybe hate isn’t the only feeling they have towards each other.

warning: jj and y/n being mean, again

masterlist

“That Pogue deserves to get punished.” Rafe said once you and him arrived at his house.

After you told JJ to go home you had this weird feeling in your chest. It reminded you of the moment before going to ride a wave, but with a bad turn into it. “I don’t know who the fuck does he think he is. He doesn’t get to treat me like that and get away with it, Y/n, I swear I’m going to get my revenge on that stupid Pogue.”

“Rafe, what are we? Twelve? Just forget about it.” You said. When he turned and locked eyes with you, you felt shivers going down your body.

“Stop fucking defending him, Y/n.”

“I’m not defending him, I’m not defending anybody. I just don’t want you or anyone to start trouble.”

“Did you heard how he talked to me?” Rafe started walking closer to you, so close that you unintentionally took a step backwards.

“Yes, Rafe! I was there! This is an everyday thing, why are you so angry right now?” You asked but Rafe didn’t respond immediately. He stayed put in silence while looking at your eyes. You were so confused at his sudden change of behaviour that you didn’t know what to say. The realisation that you were at his house hit you when he took another step closer to you. Your mind was so focus on what happened moments earlier that you didn’t realize Rafe took you to his house. And how wrong that was.

Before you could say that you were going home, Rafe spoke. “That Pogue wants you.” He said firmly with anger in his tone. You blinked confused, trying to understand his train of thought.

“What?”

“I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

“You’re dreaming, Rafe, you can’t even see a thing that you have in front of you clear.”

“Do you like him?” He asked suddenly, getting closer to you. You could see the anger on his eyes, so clearly that your heart dropped to your stomach and a bad feeling coming through.

“What- no!”

“Prove it.” He said looking down to your lips for a second.

“Why would I want to prove it to you? We’re done, you made that pretty clear last time, Rafe.”

Rafe stayed silent, you thought that he was going to finally get over it and you were going to be able to get out, saying that it was getting late. But then when a little smile escaped his lips, you mouth didn’t open.

“Do you want to get back together?” He said with his eyes glued to your lips.

“Wha-”

“Let’s get back together.”

“What are you saying?”

“If you don’t like that Pogue, get back together with me.”

“That doesn’t make sense Rafe.” You said, trying to keep your posture together and not show that you were feeling afraid on that exact moment.

Rafe grabbed your cheek with strength, making it hurt a little bit. You thought he was going to get closer to your lips and kiss you, but when he came back to your eyes, you didn’t see the desire to kiss you in them. “Do you want it to make sense?”

“Y/n? Calling y/n to earth.” You heard your dad calling you making you step out of your thoughts.

“Dad! Sorry, it’s been a long night, I didn’t sleep well.”

“Well, you better get some sleep tonight because tomorrow it’s the party.” He said, giving a sip to the juice he was drinking for breakfast.

“Party?”

“Y/n!” He said loudly, annoyed at your question. “The party that I’ve been telling you all breakfast. There’s going to be a lot of business people there, it’s my opportunity to make an impression and make my company bigger, and more important.”

You closed your eyes trying to not sound or show any annoy expression to your dad. After everything that happened, going to a party wasn’t in your list of desired things to do. “Dad, do I have to go? I mean, I’m pretty sure I won’t have anything to do there.”

“No, you have to go, Y/n. You’re my daughter.”

“So?”

“So!?” Your dad yelled offended. “You need to make an impression too. We’re a family, and if we’re good, that means that I take the good in my family to the business.”

You sighed looking down hoping the conversation was over. “Alright.”

“You’ll have to pick a dress, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He said firmly.

You slowly got up from your chair leaving your almost full breakfast on the table. “Are we done?”

“Why?”

“I want to go surfing.”

“Surfing again?” You dad said that with so much disgust that you got the sudden need to walk away, tired of hearing anyone talk. “Why don’t you go with Rafe, I don’t know, on a date?” As soon as you heard his name, your heart dropped to your stomach. Something and someone you didn’t want to talk about. “I haven’t seen him in ages. And you know his dad is important, better keep your relationship in a good state.” You sighed trying to erase every word your dad was saying, since he rather be successful then watching you be alright. “Besides, you surfed yesterday.”

“So? Dad, I’m good at it.” You smiled for the first time in the conversation, remembering your times riding the waves. “I think I can go pro.”

“Pro?” He asked in a joking tone after letting out a little laugh. “Yeah, sweetheart, everybody has dreams. But you’ll work at the company with me, I need an heir.” You felt like a bucket of cold water had fell into your body. You took a deep breath while watching your dad walk towards you, once he finished his breakfast. “And I think you’re perfect for the job.” He grabbed your cheek and gave you a gentle kiss on the forehead. On the inside, you were glad the conversation was over, but once he stopped and stared at your reddish wound on your chin, your stomach turned. You didn’t told him about it, about anything. Better to stay quiet, you thought. A feeling of worry came into your chest when you couldn’t think of an excuse for it, but when you thought he was going to ask if you were alright, or what happened, he just let out a tiny sigh and let go of your chin. “You better get that fixed, honey, we don’t want to ruin your presence at the party with a horrible wound.”

Once you arrived in your room, you closed your door before letting out a big sigh while trying to take your heart to its normal speed. So much had happened over the past two days that you felt how your head wanted to explode. And if it did, you weren’t going to complain.

You sat down on the end of your bed as you were looking to the wall of your room. A sudden pain in your lower lip appearing made you remember the person who did it to you, just like before breakfast. You closed your eyes trying to forget everything but when he came into your mind, you opened them again. Him defending you against Rafe was now playing in your head, the anger in his eyes and the pain in his voice... How can someone forget that?

You dropped your back to your bed but once you heard a noise coming from your window, your head quickly turned to it to see a brunette girl already entering your room.

“Kie.” You said softly, walking towards her to help her get inside your room.

“Hi, Y/n,” she said with a smile once inside “how are you?”

“Good.” You nodded when a little smile escaped your lips.

“Are you sure?” She asked. You noticed how her eyes went to your wound for a couple of seconds. You didn’t want to lie to Kie, she was one of your best friends, the one that you could always count on, but right now, you didn’t want to talk about it.

“Yeah.” You said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Kie nodded, going back to your wound once again. It’s like her eyes were trying to say to you that she wanted to know what was going on, but her mouth wasn’t opening. “It’s just a scratch.” You said almost in a whisper, once she came back to your eyes.

“What happened, Y/n?” She asked in the same tone, getting closer to you to grab your hands.

“Nothing,” you let go of her hands gently and stepped back “don’t worry about it.”

“Seems to be a thing to worry about if JJ reacted that way.” Kie said without hesitating, making you think of the night before.

“JJ always looks for a reason to fight Rafe, that’s nothing new.” You said, proudly of yourself for bringing the situation down so fast.

“Yeah, I know,” Kie nodded “but I’ve never seen him that angry, Y/n. And I haven’t seen him all day.” She stopped but you noticed she wanted to ask something else. Once she looked down wondering if she should say it or not, she looked up at you and let the words come out of her mouth. “What happened at the Chateau before that?”

Your mind immediately took you to the moment JJ was grabbing your chin, you and him close. Your breathing mixing with his, the heavy air surrounding the room, it was definitely something. But you just shook your head. “Nothing, Kie.”

“C’mon, I’m not stupid, Y/n.”

“I’ve never said you were.” You responded quickly. That took Kie off guard and just go quiet. You looked down and hoped for her to forget it, but then she spoke again.

“Did Rafe did that to you?” You looked up at her but then went back down again, hiding your wound.

“No.”

“Y/n-”

“Kie! C’mon, let it go.” You spited out.

“I can’t let it go! You’re hurt, Y/n-” Kie got closer to you, but before she could check your scratch, you stepped back moving her hand.

“Please! I don’t want to talk about it!”

“I can’t let that asshole treat you like that!” She yelled so loudly you immediately hoped your dad didn’t hear that. You started to feel a strong pain in your throat once the tears were fighting to come out when the memory of Rafe came into your head.

“I’m sorry for yelling.” Kie said more softly once she noticed the change in your body language.

You shook your head. “It’s alright. I’m sorry too.” Your softly tone changed the surroundings to a more calmer one. You noticed Kie wanted to know more about it, but she looked down to her feet, regretting her question.

“Are you coming to the party tomorrow night?” She asked still looking down.

“I have to. You?”

“Same.” She said looking at your eyes. You saw conflict in them, something that you always wanted to change in them, you didn’t like to see your best friend like that, but this time, you didn’t know how. “I miss you, Y/n. And I’m sure the guys do too.”

You let out a tiny laugh. “I’m not sure about that.”

Kie did the same and then nodded. “At least I’m sure about Pope and John B. Why don’t you come to the Chateau with me?”

The idea was tempting, but with that also came having to see JJ. And your head was telling that wasn’t a good idea. “I don’t think so, Kie.”

“Why not? Is it because of JJ?” She asked without thinking about it. “What happened between you two? You’ve never turned down a meeting with the Pogues because of him.”

You let out a tiny sigh while going to sit down at the end of your bed, your legs were starting to betray you. “It’s not him.”

Kie did the same as you. She grabbed your hand while trying to get you to look at her in the eyes. “Then why? Rafe’s sister, Sarah?” You shook your head. “Then what? You can talk to me, Y/n.” You looked at her and the feeling of missing her and the Pogues grew inside of you. It was true, you never turned down meeting the Pogues for anything, no matter how fucked up you felt, how angry you were, hanging out with the Pogues was the only thing that ever made you feel better. And it still was.

“You know what? I think meeting with the Pogues it’s going to do me good. Let’s go.”

You had to be honest, visiting the Chateau was making your heart skip a beat every time you thought about it. As closer as you got, all the memories of the night before came into your head making you regret your decision of visiting them in the first place. But as soon as you saw Pope letting out a big smile once he locked eyes with you, that feeling of warmth you felt everytime you were with them appeared on your body, loving every single second of it.

“Y/n! I missed you.” Pope said while embracing your body into a tight hug.

“Missed you too guys.” You locked eyes with John B and Sarah, who were already behind Pope.

“How are you?” Sarah asked, but the moment you were about to say something, the voice of someone complaining cut you off. You didn’t quite understand what they said, but you did knew who it came from. Pope turned around, making you able to see the blonde guy that seemed to be consuming all your thoughts since last night. He had bags under his eyes that made you realize he hadn’t been sleeping well. His eyes were glued to yours, they were staring at you so hardly to the point that you started to feel uncomfortable under them.

He rolled his eyes making you feel the normal annoying feeling you always had when he did that, making you cross your arms in front of your chest, to fight the need of flipping him off right on that moment.

Silence surrounded the room as JJ was walking towards you, once you noticed that he was getting closer your heart started beating faster and you hated that, you hated that he was making you feel that way. So much that you grabbed your arm with strength to control your feelings as much as you could. He locked eyes with you one last time before passing you, but not before hitting his shoulder with yours, making you move backwards and leaving a strong pain in it.

You rolled your eyes annoyed but your mouth didn’t opened, since he was already riding his bike to leave the Chateau behind.

“Don’t worry about it,” Pope said. “he’ll get over whatever has him troubled.” He said, but you doubted that was true.

Even if it took you a minute to forget what just happened, the moment that you sat down and started talking with the Pogues like you always did, everything bad that was hurting you was slowly disappearing. It was like a potion that took minutes to make effect on your body, but it did work. Laughs and more laughs were filling the room, the voices were so loudly that you felt they could be heard from a long distance, but you didn’t care, for the first time in a long time you were having a great time, and nothing was going to change that.

“Seriously! He said that!” Sarah yelled once she finished her story and pointed and John B, who opened his mouth offended.

“No I did not!”

“How can you know? You were asleep!” Laughs followed her words. Watching Sarah complain about John B was strangely funny.

“That doesn’t sound like me. I’ve never talked in my sleep. So I don’t take responsibility for that.” He said shaking his head and ending the conversation once he gave Sarah a kiss on the lips to enable her mouth from talking more.

“Talking about responsibility,” Kie said turning to Pope with a grin “and with that I’m turning the conversation to Pope, who is that girl I saw you talking yesterday?”

“What? Who?” Pope asked, clearly not expecting the question at all.

“You know who. That girl with the black hair.” Kie turned to you and gave you wink, letting you know something was going on.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Pope said with his eyes glued to the ground, trying to avoid any eye contact and accidentally spilling something he didn’t want to.

“Oh, c’mon. I’m pretty sure you do because you were extremely close to her.”

“What?” You asked surprised. “Pope has a crush on someone?”

“No I don’t!”

“Oh, I think you do.” John B with a smile, enjoying the moment way too much.

Pope was about to say something on his defence, but someone walking through the door cut him off. “JJ!”

The moment that you turned to look at him your heart skipped a beat. He looked at the room quickly and the moment he locked eyes with you, he let out a annoying sigh. “You’re still here?” He asked disgusted, not trying to hide it at all.

“You have a problem with that?” You responded quickly, not giving him the win.

“Yes, you’re the problem.” He turned to you. “So unless you don’t leave I’ll always have the problem on me.”

“That’s on you, not me.” You got up from your sit to go get some water from the kitchen, hoping for JJ to leave the room, since you weren’t going to.

“Guys, I don’t think-” Pope was saying once he saw JJ’s face, but he cut him off.

“Why don’t you go back with Rafe, Y/n?” He asked firmly and with disgust, making you stop quickly in your spot and your heart going down to your stomach once you heard his name.

“JJ.” Kie said softly. But it was too late, he already said it, and didn’t had a plan to stop.

“But don’t get hurt next time.”

Silence followed his words, non of them knew what to respond to what he said, not even you. You felt like the air was getting thicker around you, making your chest hurt and your nose to miss some air, but the feeling that was taking over your body was anger. So, without thinking about your next actions, you turned around to face JJ. Kie was about to say something, but the palm of your hand was already hitting JJ’s cheek, making a loud noise in the process and leaving it with a reddish color and a strong pain in it.

“Asshole!” You yelled to his now in pain face. His eyes had surprise in them, but no one could say anything about it, not even him, since your body was already leaving the Chateau.

The sound of the waves was the next thing you heard. Your head was hurting so badly but you didn’t care, your board was already next to your body and your feet had the urge to ride the waves until they couldn’t anymore. Anger was controlling you in that moment, you knew that, you knew that surfing while there was a storm outside wasn’t a good idea, but you didn’t care. All you wanted to do was feel the water of the ocean hitting your body while you were on top of your board, killing the wave and having that loved feeling in your heart as usual.

Your eyes were so blurry because of the water of the rain in them that you could barely see. Your eyelashes were so thick now that you could see them more clearly in your eyes, the rain hitting your body with so much strength was making you feel a little bit of pain, but as soon as you sat down on your board, everything that was bothering you went away.

The water under your board was getting difficult to control, your body was moving quickly along with the waves, but this wasn’t your first time, you got this.

“Yeah, I got this. I fucking got this.” You said to yourself loudly, but with the sound of the water and the rain, your voice was quickly brushed off.

You saw your first wave and a little smile escaped your lips. The next thing happened faster than you could think of your next action, but it didn’t matter, your body already knew what it had to do.

As soon as your feet felt the wave under them your heart dropped to your stomach, the wave was so strong that it took you a moment to adjust everything, but seconds later it wasn’t the wave riding you, it was you riding the fuck out of that wave. You heard the thunderstorm in the sky and your brain was yelling you to get out of there, but your body wasn’t listening, the enjoyment of the wave was way too much for you to ignore it. Your body didn’t want to leave, and there was nothing that could change that. Following the wave with your board, you saw it ending and getting closer to the shore, so you dropped your body downwards, flexing your knees to finish the wave with more speed and finally sitting down once you felt it was over. But you didn’t had much time to rest, since another wave was coming your way.

But this one was different. Ignoring the strong thunderstorm that was happening more often than before, you paddled close to the wave hitting the water around you with more strength since the rain was making the ocean more thicker around you. It was moving so quickly that before you could cover yourself, the wave hit your body, making you fall from your board and losing yourself in the water.

You tried to hard to swam to the surface but your arms couldn’t seem to control the water around you and take your body upwards. You felt how your chest was asking for air but nothing that you did was moving your body, it was just the ocean moving you along with it. The sound of the rain became a distant sound since the sound of your heart beating faster became all you could hear. You felt your eyes getting blurrier while your arms were still trying to take you to the surface. You looked for your board but it was nowhere to be seen, so moving your legs as fast as you could finally managed to get your head out of the water to get some air, but that lasted no more than seconds, since the water was already pushing you downwards.

For the first time in your life, you didn’t know what to do in the water. For as long as you could remember your body was always looking for solutions when it came to surfing or swimming, you were a natural at it. But this time, your body was finally giving up, letting your arms down since they hurted like they never did before. You tried to move your legs but they weren’t answering, making you fall more deep into the water and your eyes to slightly close.

This was it. Your heart stopped beating even if your body didn’t stop moving, since it was still being moved around by the water. You closed your eyes once you felt your chest hurting, asking desperately for air. Even if you were underwater, you felt a tear coming out of your eyes, you were giving up, and there’s nothing you could do about it since it looked like it wasn’t up to you to decide.The moment that you felt no noise around you, your mind went all black, expect for one thing being right there in front of you. But it wasn’t a thing, it was a him. But before you could figure out who he was, you felt some hands grabbing your waist, pulling away from where you were and taking your body up to the surface.

“Are you stupid?! Why would you do that?!” That was the first thing you heard once your body recovered itself and let go of the water that was inside of it. “How can you be so stupid? You almost drowned!”

You coughed and once you were over, you looked up without moving your body from the sand. “Yeah no shit Sherlock!” You yelled but instantly regret it since a strong pain came into your chest.

“Good way to treat the person that just saved your life!”

“Fuck off!” You said gaining the feeling of the rain hitting your body once again. “Am I supposed to be super thankful now?! After you treated me like shit?!” You got up from the sand and gave JJ a good look at him. He had his hair all over her face and had sand all over his knees and feet, his hands were almost red from the cold and his chest was moving quickly because of the heavy breathing coming out of his mouth.

“And you’re a fucking angel aren’t you? You’re so fucking perfect!”

“Clearly I am not! But you can’t fucking see that!”

“You’re such a fucking brat!” He yelled so loudly that not even the thunderstorm could cover his voice.

“Oh here we go again with the brat comeback. Call me when your little brain can think of something else!”

“It’s the truth! You and you’re fucking perfect life!”

“Fuck off!” With the intention to leave the beach behind, you pushed JJ but he barely moved, and in the process he grabbed your arms to prevent you pushing him again. You tried to let go of his grip but he made sure you couldn’t by grabbing your waist and pulling you closer, enabling your body from moving away.

The way that you locked eyes with each other was something that made your body shiver. Even if you had so much anger in your body right now, his hands around your body somehow calmed your heart from jumping out of your chest, and instead, butterflies were flying all over your stomach now. You noticed how his eyes were slowly going from your eyes to your lips, making you feel weak under them. You felt one of his hands leaving your waist to grab your cheek. Shook at his action, you stayed still like your brain had shut down and he was controlling you, leaving you under the spell of his touch.

“Why did you get back with him?” He asked loudly so you could hear him under the rain, still looking at your eyes. “After what he did to you...”

The pain in them made you remember the night before, the hurt and the disappointment... they stabbed your chest once again but this time, it was something so strongly that you felt the air not wanting to come inside your body.

“Do you really care?” You asked more softly, feeling your throat hurt since the tears were fighting to come out.

“Maybe I’m not the only one who’s blind.” He said making your heart drop to your stomach. His eyes were glued to yours not moving for even one second, the closeness of your bodies while you were under his eyes made you remember the figure you saw moments ago. It wasn’t a nobody.

“I hate you.” Your voice said with so much pain. So much that it hurted you to say it, and you didn’t know why. You waited for him to say the same thing, but instead, he did a little nod and looked down once he let go of your waist.

“I know.” He said so softly that it made you more anger than you felt before. He said horrible things to you and then treated you the opposite way, expecting for you to understand what the hell was going on. But you didn’t. So, without saying another word, you walked away with your heart stabbed and tears going down your cheeks.

As soon as your head hit your bed all the tears that wanted to come out since this morning finally did. The pain in your chest became even more bigger and the air had difficulty entering your body while your room was surrounded by silence. You didn’t know why you were crying, maybe the fact that you still had the feeling of the water hitting your body and your chest asking for air, your dad, or even JJ... there was that question that had a million of answers, or even not answer at all.

When you calmed down you sat down ready to wash all the tears away from your cheeks. After checking to see if anyone was between your room and the bathroom, you stepped out of your room once you noticed the corridor was as empty as the whole house itself. You opened the bathroom door to see a message for you in the mirror, ready for you to read it.

“Don’t forget about the party! Get a nice dress, some make up, and fix your hair like a true lady. We leave at 6 pm without any excuses. Love you, dad.”

You let out a tiny sigh once you read the note your dad left. You ripped the paper out of your mirror and then continued to wash your face, already wishing all of that was over even if it didn’t started yet.

You closed the door of the bathroom to walk with lazy steps to your room while your mind, with no enthusiasm at all, was looking for a dress to wear. You walked to your room without turning the light on since your eyes still hurted a little bit from having them open under the water. But you knew your room like the palm of your hand so the little light that was coming from the outside was enough for you. With quick steps, you started to head towards your closet, but when a strong pain appeared in your foot you stopped immediately.

“Fuck!” You said lifting your foot up to grab it and look at the thing that hurted your foot. A tiny rock was laying there next to your bed, with furrowed eyebrows and confused thoughts you headed to turn the light on and see if there was any other rocks in your room. Nothing. Your eyes went over your floor at least two times to check, but there was only that rock in the floor. With slow steps you walked closer to it and grabbed it with your hand, even if it was stupid, like you expected to understand how it got there if you grabbed it, you did it anyways. And of course, nothing happened after that. Until, you saw how another rock entered your room through the window.

“What the fuck?” You asked getting closer to your window. The sound of the rain got even more louder as closer and you got. A sudden wave of fear appeared into your body, but as soon as you saw the body that was standing down your window, the fear that you were feeling turned into butterflies in your stomach. “What are you doing here?” You asked loudly enough so he could hear you on top of the rain.

“Are you going to let me it or let me get all wet?” He said, while the water was going down his body.

“It’s very tempting.”

“Alright, I’ll just scream what I have to say and alert your dad, getting you into trouble for bringing a boy that’s not your boyfriend home.”

You were about to say that he wasn’t home, but as soon as you opened mouth you saw his car parked in the driveway.

You rolled your eyes while letting out a sigh. Perfect timing, dad. “You’re a pain in the ass.” You said more to herself but you knew JJ heard you. You nodded letting him know it was alright for him to get into your room and you started to hear him climbing to your window, until what you heard came into your eyes. When JJ crossed the window you got the chance to see him more clearly now, taking your eyes immediately to his cheek. “Glad your cheek has gone back to almost normal by now.”

“I hate to admit it but” JJ touched his cheek and let out a tiny laugh “you’re strong.” A confused feeling took over you since he didn’t respond to you hitting him, instead, he complimented you. Something that didn’t happen often... or ever.

“What is it that you wanted to say?” You said, brushing your thoughts away.

“Sorry.” He said firmly, and then waited for your unsure response.

“For what?”

“Saying what I said at the Chateau today.” Even if he was answering quickly, you noticed that he had trouble saying those words.

You let out a tiny laugh and then shook your head. “Since when did we started to apologise to the other?” You asked expecting for JJ to follow your joke but instead, he closed his eyes with strength and grabbed his face with frustration.

“Oh my god! Why can’t you just accept the apology?”

“Why should I?”

“It’s human decency to accept someone’s apology.” He opened his eyes to locked them with yours. You were getting used to seeing the pain and disappointment in them.

“Not really. If I don’t want to, I won’t.”

“And you tell me I’m the pain in the ass? You’re such a brat.”

“I thought you came here to apologise not insult me.”

“Gosh!” He yelled making the thunderstorm outside tiny. “I can’t stand you!” You felt the tension in the room getting heavier every second. Used to fighting, your words came into your mouth before your brain could think of something.

“Then why are you here?!”

“Because I wanted to fucking see you!”

Silence followed his words. You stayed still in your spot while processing the moment. His eyes were now closed once he looked down, realising what his mouth just said.

“What?” You asked softly, even if you knew exactly what he said. Your mind was repeating it over and over again.

“I wanted-” he said with his eyes still closed but then stopped. He let out a long sigh and then opened them to gain courage and locked eyes with you. Once he did, the air entering your body cut off for one second. “I wanted to see you. I don’t know why, I don’t know what the fuck is going on but somehow I can’t stop fucking thinking about you. Somehow there’s a part of my brain that hates you and the other-” he spited out but then stopped, making you more impatient to hear his next words.

“The other what?” You asked, wanting to hear the answer but afraid of it at the same time.

“The other wants to kiss you right now.” Your brain was processing too slowly everything that was going on. It was yelling to you to say something but your mouth wasn’t responding. Everything that had happened over the past days was flying on your head like an old movies. You were finally understanding some of it, but your head was still so confused you couldn’t let out a word.

JJ noticed your silence and because of that, he closed his eyes and looked down, regretting his words. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Without giving you time to answer, he turned around to the window with the intention to leave your room behind.

“JJ-”

“Forget I said anything.” He said once his leg was already hanging from your window without giving you any eye contact. Before you could react and say something, he was already out your room leaving with a head full of thought and a stomach full of butterflies.

As soon as your head came back to your room from wherever it was, you heard your dad entering your room and start loudly asking why weren’t you change. You moved your body to your closet to grab a random dress you had in it and throw it into your bed once your dad walked out of your room. Even if he said so many words, you didn’t even heard one. All you could think about was JJ and what he just said. He wanted to kiss you? Since when did he felt like that? Is that why he defended you the other day? So many questions were going through your mind, but once one single question appeared in your mind, that was the only one that started to consume your brain: Do you feel the same as him?

You remembered the moment you saw him once you were under water asking for air, or how you felt every time he walked into the room, butterflies flying around your stomach, or your heart skipping a beat or beating faster. Your enjoyment when he was touching you didn’t passed unnoticed between your thoughts, but before you could think more into it, you were already at the party with your dad having the biggest fake smile in your face.

The party was filled with men talking about business, wine, and another stuff you didn’t cared at all. It seemed like your dad completely forgot about you, since he didn’t even say a word to you since the moment you two walked through the door of that huge mansion. On the inside you were thankful for that, faking a personality to 50 year old men wasn’t something that you wanted to do, not even if it was the thing that was keeping you alive. The drink in your hand was already getting hotter and the gas was going away, but since your mouth wasn’t planning on drinking it you just kept holding it to seem like you were doing something. Your eyes were going through the room to save yourself from the boredom you were feeling, but the moment you felt an arm going around your shoulders your eyes turned to the person now standing next to you.

“Here’s my girl.” He said with his arrogant tone that made you feel disgusted on the inside.

“Rafe.” You said erasing your fake smile from your face.

“Why so serious sweetheart?” He said going down to your lips and then your eyes, after giving a sip to his drink without breaking the eye contact.

You turned your head to the side and without skipping a beat, the words left your lips with a firm tone: “Maybe because you’re here.”

His smile went away from his face and then looked around hoping no one heard that. “Wow, wow, what’s that?” He asked bringing the arrogant smile back to his face. “What did you say? Maybe we should get some fresh air.” He tried to walk you outside but with strength, you didn’t move from your spot.

“Why? So you can hurt me again?” The stare that you were giving him was so strongly that even you felt it. His face went from arrogance from shook and anger, but you without wanting to hear any of Rafe’s words, you left his grip and walked away hoping for him to not follow you. And for your luck, someone called his name and that made him gain the personality of a business man back and let you go, but not before he tried to burn you with his eyes.

As soon as your eyes saw the door that leaded you to the backyard, your feet were already walking towards it, maybe fresh air was going to calm you down and prepare you for the rest of the night. You left the drink on a table once you were outside to walk more deep into the backyard since it looked like it was way more bigger than your own house. So, leaving the party behind, you started to walk towards the big bushes hoping to find something interesting to look at.

A slow wind started to blow around your face as you were getting closer to the end of it, or at least it seemed that it was the end for you. It can’t last forever, but with this kind of people, you never know.

Silence surrounded you, not even the piano from the party could be heard anymore. You were thankful for that, even if you liked the sound of the instrument, you boredom was making you hate it. Looking for something to do, your eyes noticed some little pink flowers growing in one of the bushes, so without waiting around, you got closer to it and gently grabbed one. Your fingers immediately felt the softness of them, it looked so fragile that you made sure to not touch it too much. After letting it go, you took your nose to it to smell it, but before your nose could get to it, a strange noise made you turned around.

“Hello?” You asked and then every horror movie that you ever watched came into your head. Even if your heart started to beat a little bit faster you walked closer to where you heard the noise, expecting to see some type of animal, but when your eyes saw that blonde hair a wave of relief came into your chest. “JJ?” You asked furrowing your eyebrows confused. You looked around hoping nobody saw him. “How did you get in?”

“The have really bad security.” He said while slowly walking towards you. As he was getting closer the poor light of the backyard hit him better. He had his hands inside his pockets and was still wearing the same clothes as the last time you saw him. “Surprises me, you would think people with a house like this would have a decent security system.”

He was talking like nothing had happened hours ago. Like he didn’t confess he wanted to kiss you and then walked away, leaving you behind for your thoughts to eat you alive.

“What are you doing?” You asked while watching him get closer to you without stopping.

“I don’t know.” He said softly. “Lately, I have no fucking clue what I’ve been doing.” You knew that he was talking about his last words to you and the way he was acting. You wanted to responde to that but didn’t know what. Because deep down, you knew that you felt the same way as him. “Is the party going well?”

You sighed looking back at the house. “It sucks.”

JJ let out a tiny laugh making you turn to him and for your heart to skip a beat once it noticed his eyes were looking at yours. “Maybe we should do a party of our own.”

“A Kegger?” You nodded with a smile. “That would be nice.”

Laughs followed your words and that made you enjoy the moment you were having with him, not thinking about was happened and forgetting that it was you and JJ having that conversation. No fight was involved. “Wow, first time without fighting after a long time.” He said like he just read your thoughts.

“Don’t jinxed it.”

He let out a tiny laugh. “I always fuck up everything.”

“I know.” You said jokingly. “That is something that we have in common.”

“Yeah... that’s it.” Once he said those words you noticed his eyes going down to your lips making the butterflies go wild inside your stomach. He was so close that you could even see the details in his face with the little light of the moon and the backyard. His blue eyes were so concentrated in you that you started to feel like he was penetrating you with them, like he wanted to be more closer but his body wasn’t letting them get to where they wanted to be... As that thought came into your head, the realisation of what was happening came into your body and your feet took a step backwards while your head turned to where the party was still happening.

“Maybe you should leave before someone sees you.” You said softly, turning back to see JJ and his eyes on yours.

“Maybe.” He said in the same tone as you did. But he wasn’t moving, instead he stayed glued in his spot, getting to the courage ready to do whatever he wanted to do. “Is Kie here?” He asked.

“She told she had to come but I haven’t seen her yet. Why?”

He bit the corner of his lower lip once you asked that question. You noticed that he took a tiny breath, before doing a quick look to your lips. “Because I just want this to be kept between us.”

“What?” You asked quickly but it was too late, his feet were fast just like his hands because his body was glued to yours and the palm of his hands were grabbing your cheeks. He waited for your response but it didn’t took long, since your lips were already moving along side his. His touch was warm, it felt just like when the sun hits your skin and you feel it entering your body and leaving tiny burn sensations in it. But it wasn’t an annoying feeling, the opposite, you didn’t want it to end. You felt the butterflies in your stomach going into a rave with the single touch of his hand in your waist to pull you closer to him, even if there wasn’t any space left between you two. But that didn’t matter, you both wanted to be as close as possible and that was said in the kiss. The kiss that felt it lasted hours for how much you two felt, but in reality it only lasted seconds before you and JJ pulled away asking for air.

He immediately united his forehead with yours while your eyes were still closed. As much as you wanted to process what just happened, your brain was enjoying the moment so strongly that you just let it happen. A little smile escaped your lips once you felt his thumb caressing your cheek. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you, like he never did before.

He was about to say something but then, a voice talked behind you two.

“Fucking Pogue.” Rafe said with anger once you turned to him. You felt your stomach turn as he started to walk towards the bushes, where you were with JJ.

“Should we run?” He asked, grabbing your hand.

“Are you seriously asking me if we should escape a really angry Rafe?” You asked and JJ let out a funny smile that lead you to let out a laugh. “Fucking go!”

As soon as you said those words, you felt JJ taking your hand away and running towards a part of the house you didn’t notice before. You asked yourself what this place was but then came up with the idea that maybe this was where he got in. You heard Rafe’s footsteps following you closely but the rush was making you ignore it while laughs were coming out of your mouth. You finally felt alive, like you never did before.

You saw a white wall that you quickly deduced you had to climb to get out, and you were right. JJ, with no help at all, climb the wall and sat down at the end of it to reached for you hand.

“Stop!” You heard Rafe yell and you let out a laugh while grabbing JJ’s hand.

And just like that, you were out of the house, leaving the lame party and Rafe behind with JJ still grabbing your hand.

“That was... something.” You said with your heavy breathing once you made sure no one was around and you stopped running.

“Oh, please, you had fun running away.” He said looking at you as he was trying to take his breathing back to normal.

You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe I did.”

“It’s not going to hurt you if you say I’m right at least once.”

“Oh, it’s going to kill me. I know it. I can feel it.” You touched your chest and JJ let out tiny laugh while shaking his head. You looked at him as his blue eyes were staring at you, and for the first time, you didn’t see any pain and disappointment in them. “This is weird.” You said once your breathing was now normal.

“Good weird of bad weird?” He asked.

“It’s yet to be determined.” You said those words and immediately noticed how a little smile escaped his lips.

“Can I do something to make it more good weird?” He asked softly getting closer to your body and grabbing your waist to pull you closer. This time, you didn’t feel uncomfortable under his eyes, instead, the feeling of warmth they were giving you made you want that feeling to last forever.

With his other hand, he grabbed your cheek and united his forehead with yours, making you feel his breathing against your skin.

“I still hate you.” You said, as his lips were getting closer.

He let out a smile and then nodded impatiently waiting for your lips. Hoping he would end the space between you two you stared at his lips, but instead of united them, they said softly: “Same.”

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astro-syd · 4 years ago

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Jimin’s Duality (From an Astrological Perspective)

Jimin has become quite famous for the dual nature of his personality, so today I’m here to give a bit of astrological insight into this phenomenon! Jimin easily transitions between his sweet, adorable, mochi self and his passionate, intense stage persona. Neither of these “personas” are an acting stunt of any kind. They’re true aspects of Jimin’s personality! He simply knows which moments are the most appropriate and effective for channeling each side of himself, and all of these sides show up clearly within his natal chart. Let’s take a look!

Cancer Ascendant: child of the moon

Jimin’s Ascendant falls within Cancer, a cardinal water sign ruled by the moon. This also means that the moon is Jimin’s chart ruler! It holds a lot of significance in his natal chart.

Because Cancer rules over your home, family life, childhood and foundations, people with their Sun or Ascendant in this sign tend to have a very sweet, innocent, even childish nature about them. They tend to keep in touch with their inner child as they grow older, and might have something of a mischievous nature because of this too!

Cancer and the Moon often rule the mother in astrology, so people with this ascendant can easily take on a very motherly, nurturing quality. Jimin has been known to keep a close eye on the other members and he’s often the first one rushing to comfort them if need be.

This also somewhat stems from his emotional intelligence and sensitivity. Those with a Moon ruler tend to be very sensitive to emotions and mood swings, and Jimin is no exception. He’s highly empathetic, and with his Libra Sun & Mercury in his 4th house (ruled by Cancer), one of his natural gifts revolves around bringing balance to others’ emotional states. Others will feel magnetically drawn to him for healing.

Cancer is a common Ascendant to see in people within performing arts careers. This is because of their emotional availability and talent for expressing feelings. There’s something about Jimin’s vulnerability which makes people empathize with him, understand him on a very human level, and even want to protect him, much like you would a small child. It definitely contributes to his very “cute” and “sweet” vibe, even if he is a fully grown adult who’s capable of handling himself, haha.

Cancer rising people are very sensitive to their environment. When Jimin is put on unfamiliar ground, he will tend to withdraw or act shy until he feels more comfortable. He’s also likely to become flustered easily, especially when he’s in public and knows he’s got many eyes/cameras on him. His overarching moods and personality take on a very changeable quality, much like ocean tides. The ways in which he chooses to present himself are often highly based upon his immediate environment.

The Ascendant also holds a lot of weight over someone’s physical appearance. Cancer rising people can have a round, moon-like face shape and cute apple cheeks, especially when they smile. They’re known for a very large, bright smile, and large, puffy lips. Cancer natives often possess tiny hands and feet, and might even have something of a frail appearance.

They usually are quite soft-spoken, and with Jimin’s Moon residing in Gemini, this sign will have a lot of influence over his tone of voice. It definitely contributes to his light, “angelic” tone and the emotional quality of his singing. The Gemini influence here also appears in his sloping jawline and more pointed chin.

Moon in Gemini: messenger of emotion

Within Jimin’s chart ruler residing in communicative Gemini, he definitely knows how to put his feelings, memories, and experiences into words. Even if he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings too often, they’ll naturally bleed into his speech, his writing, and his art.

His emotions are easily influenced by others’ words as well, and this is especially true of his family and the people he loves. ARMY has picked up on the fact that our Jiminnie loves praise, but he’s not really using it as an ego boost. His feeling states are genuinely affected by the words of those around him. Watch the way his whole face lights up when the members compliment him and you’ll see what I mean. This also makes him more sensitive to negative feedback though, so he has to be a little careful about the opinions he chooses to expose himself to.

One of his greatest life lessons is to learn how to articulate his own inner feelings and experiences, as well as encouraging others to do the same. Allowing himself to be vulnerable and emotional is not only extremely healthy for him (even more so than the average person), but it also helps others to feel more comfortable and healed when doing the same.

In his childhood, his family members probably spent a lot of time talking about their feelings, but they might have struggled to actually feel them and discuss these emotions from a genuinely vulnerable standpoint. This is part of Jimin’s ancestral lesson to carry out in this lifetime!

His moon resides in his 12th house, which is a highly intuitive and spiritual placement. The 12th rules all things unseen, including spirits, dreams, secrets, hidden enemies, and religion. It’s a very foggy, mystical house. A lot of his feelings and mood swings are at least somewhat subconscious, which is also why it’s very healthy for him to speak about them. Communication will help to draw his emotions out of this hazy house and into the light of day where he can then process and make sense of what he’s feeling.

The 12th also rules the collective unconscious, so Jimin unfortunately also has a very good understanding of all of the underlying pains, traumas, and wounds of our societies. He’s very good at understanding human nature and human suffering, which makes him a great artist and an incredible healer, but it’s also a heavy burden to bear. Much of his empathy stems from this awareness which he’s possessed from a very young age. It’s possible that he even has psychic or empathic abilities of some kind, regardless of whether or not he’s in touch with them.

He’s a very trustworthy confidant. Jimin is a great listener, and because the 12th house rules secrets, he’s fantastic about protecting people in this way. He can be trusted with just about any information and will genuinely take these secrets to the grave. He enjoys the process of healing and supporting others, and protecting their most sensitive memories, experiences, and information is just another way for him to nurture those around him. This is another part of his appeal as a celebrity- he simply feels trustworthy, especially when he’s speaking from the heart and caring for those around him. He’d also make a great therapist, haha!

Libra Sun & Mercury: creator of harmony

Jimin has both his Sun and Mercury residing within fair and balanced Libra. It’s a sign which enjoys showing a polite, friendly, peaceful, and harmonious attitude, especially in public. Jimin is very much aware that there’s a time and a place for all aspects of his personality, and he knows when to utilize each side in order to achieve the best response from the public. He knows how to play an audience very well while still coming from a very genuine place within himself.

Because Libra is ruled by Venus and rules over the house of partnerships, these people tend to be natural flirts- and Jimin is definitely no exception. Flirting with others and generally being a huge tease is very fun for him, in fact he sees it as something of a game (more on that in the next section). He likes to charm others and be received well in the eyes of the public as much as possible.

Libra is a very non-confrontational sign which dislikes conflict, and Jimin can act as a peacemaker within their group whenever disputes or misunderstandings occur (though all BTS members share this energy to some extent). When appearing in public or voicing his opinion in interviews, he often has a very well put-together, diplomatic vibe about him.

Scorpio Venus, Mars, & Pluto: the playful devil

So, we’ve discussed our charming, diplomatic prince Park Jimin, as well as our cute and loving mochi, but where on earth does that stage persona come from?! Let me introduce you to Jimin’s most deadly placements: His Venus, Mars, and Pluto all within his 5th house in Scorpio.

Venus and Mars are both planets which deal with romantic relationships. Venus in astrology tells us about the sorts of people, things, and experiences we’re attracted to, as well as the kind of person we’ll be within a romantic relationship. It rules over the arts, fashion, partnerships, and commitments. Mars, on the other hand, is a lot more masculine and aggressive. It rules over our anger, our motivations, and our drive. It can indicate how we’ll chase after the people, goals, and experiences we desire in life.

Jimin has both of these romantic, charismatic planets in his 5th house, which rules performance, the arts and creativity, fun and games, parties, lighthearted romance, and children. It’s very common to see actors and performers with strong planetary placements within this house, but Jimin certainly has quite the combo working for him here.

The emphasis around his intense, passionate, and charismatic stage persona comes from the sign we’re in: Scorpio. It’s ruled by Pluto, the Underworld planet, and rules over all things dark, mysterious, and taboo in society. Secrets, mystery, the occult, psychology, sexuality, and power all fall within this planet’s reign.

People within strong Scorpio placements like to dive deep into their relationships and experiences. They like a little mystery, but the appeal comes from the act of uncovering these secrets. They often make great detectives or psychologists because they’re fantastic at understanding human nature and getting to the bottom of a situation.

This is the reason behind Jimin’s intense stare. Many Scorpios are known for having really intimidating eyes, and it’s because they almost seem to peer straight into the depths of your soul. It can feel as if they’ve exposed all of the things you wish to keep hidden simply by watching you- and with their keen observational skills, maybe they have.

That said, the lure of the dark and mysterious catches the eyes of many- and Jimin uses these placements to his advantage when performing. Scorpio is a fixed water sign, so you can think of it like the depths of the deep ocean. His art, movements, and power are all influenced by this energy. His movements are fluid but powerful, his art is deep, emotional, and moving but still mysterious and somewhat guarded, and even just this side of his personality seems unique and captivating when compared to his usual off-stage personality.

This is also a sign which is prone to obsession. Jimin’s work ethic and attention to detail has been praised time and time again, and it likely stems from the careful attention he gives to every aspect of his work until it meets the image he wishes to portray. He knows what the audience wants to see and how best to meet their expectations. He lets you glimpse into his power, his depth, and his sexuality through his performances, but never exposes more than he wants to.

Remember that those Libra placements love to tease, and in the 5th house here, he plays his movements like a game. His performances become a place where he can momentarily flaunt the darker Underworld energies within his personality, knowing that the audience will respond well when it’s within the right context. The sides of himself which are deep, obsessive, jealous, intense, and passionate find an outlet on the stage, and he needs this outlet to avoid taking these energies out on either himself or others in more destructive ways.

His Mars conjuncts his Pluto here, which is a wildly powerful placement. Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, destruction and transformation, and in joining with the God of War in a chart, these two become a major force to be reckoned with. You can see it in his confidence on stage, his presence, and the ways in which he influences a crowd. He’s magnetic and attractive, and he can command attention without hardly lifting a finger.

In any other sign, this combination of planets has the power to become incredibly destructive (and in fact, it can be the worst in Scorpio if not handled properly), but Jimin’s grasp on this force he embodies is admirably strong. Remember when the other members said that he’s the scariest when angry? You wouldn’t want to see this placement out of control. The same forces which can give the strongest ability to understand, uncover, and heal others’ hidden wounds also has the potential to use them for harm.

Jimin, however, understands his power and channels the most intense sides of his personality into his art. When he steps onto a stage, he knows exactly what he’s there to do. He has rehearsed tirelessly, he knows what he wants to portray and how to achieve it, and he has a great sense of how the public will respond to his every move.

His chart is water dominant, and he’s a constant reminder that the water element is not just sensitive and emotional. Jimin’s Moon ruler pushes and pulls at ocean tides in the same way he influences our emotions. The same waters which flow through Jimin’s heart and psyche also have the power to create new life or flood entire cities. He’s a great example of how our charts become what we make of them. He’s successful and powerful while still retaining his humility, he’s sensitive and emotional without being too fearful or avoidant, and he’s understanding and manipulative but uses these forces for healing. An angel, perhaps?

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