#if YOU see this post and read all my rambling tags and if you also named your wanderer a silly dumb name you must reply and tell me!!!!!!

[rafesbabygirlx]

Hi angels (this is gonna be long)

I ramble because when I feel big feels I don't think straight, but please read 🤍

I'm posting this now because I just need to get it out. This has been weighing heavily on me. But I doubt anyone will read it hahah

This is really hard for me to say, but after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to wrap up some things I have left, complete some more requests and step back from writing anything new—at least for now.

I’ve been contemplating this for a while, trying to push past the feeling, but I’ve reached a point where I can’t ignore it anymore. Writing has been such a joy for me, and I’ve loved being part of this little community. You all welcomed me with open arms, and I can’t express how much that means to me.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m in the right mental space for it right now. As much as I love creating, I’ve found myself constantly doubting my work, comparing my writing to others and thinking that I can do so much better, and overthinking every detail. It’s a cycle I’ve fallen into on my own, and it’s taken a toll. On top of that, I feel like my blog has lost some of its spark, and my writing isn’t going anywhere and not growing. I’ve also gotten some nasty anons the past few weeks that I ignore but they still haven’t helped with my thoughts. 🫠

With my final semester of college also weighing on me, everything feels like it’s piling up. So, I think I just need a short break. Ew I feel like I sound so insecure. I think I’m just too hard on myself, especially when I get overwhelmed and burnt out.

I feel really guilty stepping away after working so hard to build this space and gaining so much support. The last thing I want is to let anyone down. But right now, this is what I need.

Please stick with me and don't forget me.

That said, I truly love being here, and I don’t think I can stay away for too long. Honestly, I might still post every now and then if I feel inspired. I also won’t be going completely dark - I want to stay engaged and continue supporting the amazing people I’ve met here. I’d love for my moots to keep me updated on their posts, and I’ll still be around to chat.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I really hate that I've gotten to this point. I still have some things I want to complete and then I plan to take some time off from writing. But I will be around. We can still interact. I don't want to completely lose what I have here. 🤍

I want to go through some more requests and I have a couple of parts left of The Pen Pal. I like to finish what I’ve started and I’m committed to that. I'm posting this and I have a couple of drafts ready to post tonight and then going to take a break for a day or 2 after posting this (because I feel awful and I want to avoid it)

I’m hoping that this will bring me some relaxation but I’m also hoping it will bring me some inspiration too. I have a series I’d love to restart and a lovely anon gave me a great idea for a JJ AU I’d love to do at some point. I hope those ideas would excite you just as much too.

I think right now it will just be a couple of weeks off just from writing. To refresh, heal my mind, and finally breathe. I’ve already expressed it slightly in some posts but I’ve been really thinking about it.

I already can’t wait to be back because this community has been so good to me. I appreciate every single one of you. What’s that corny saying? It’s not goodbye it’s see you later? I love you guys, and I’ll make another post when I officially take my break.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. IT ALL DOES IN MY HEAD. JUST A LITTLE BAD AT EXPRESSING MYSELF.

I wanna thank everyone who has supported my writings and I LOVE every single one of you.

I also wanna thank some of my moots! You all have helped me incredibly since I've joined. You're all so kind hearted and probably the best group of people I've ever connected with on the internet. I’m still here so please don’t stop tagging me or reaching out, I’ll still support all of you when I’m on a break. Forgive me if I'm forgetting anyone- not really thinking right now. But this goes for all my moots. 🤍

@rafesheaven @cameronsprincess @inthelibrarybtw @littlelamy @leather-n-velvet @writingroom21 @ivysprophecy @maybejj @rafescokewhore @nemesyaaa @rafescvntyclubgf @angelicameron @tanjamikaelson @starkeynation @quinnsbabygirl @frankoceanluvr11 @httpsdrewstarkey @v3n1ce-bxtch @zyafics @whytheylosttheirminds @rafesbuzzcutseason @maybankslover

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

[welcometogrouchland]

I'm going to be so real I do not understand tim & steph shippers who feel that Steph dating Tim again would save her character. You can make an argument that giving Tim a more compelling love interest would be beneficial for him! And you can at least make an argument that the fujo mischaracterization of Steph would stop. However she'd still, inevitably, be treated as a prop character/extension for someone more popular 😭 it also wouldn't make her appear in more books! Tim doesn't have many frequent appearances at the moment either! You can just say you like the couple and want them back together without acting like you have some kind of moral stance

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

[navybrat817]

The urge to interact online while simultaneously not wanting to interact out of fear of being annoying or because you feel like you don't belong. 😂😭

[jewelthenerd]

Absolutely NOBODY asked for this but Papaya trio sketches because for some reason out of ALL the characters in Ninjago my brain could’ve picked to latch on to, it chose the three who have never canonically met

I’m sorry but I love them dearly

I also apologize for not allowing any character that I draw to NOT have at least one inhuman trait, as you can see Morro got the worst of it here

[severalcontemplatingducks]

After browsing and enjoying some of the lovely narilamb content on here and ao3, I now have some ideas for a cotl au I’d like to write on. Here’s a quick bullet point overview of some of its main aspects for now;

-Slow burn tragic yuri (well, half the time. I intend for Nari to be gender fluid in this au, as I imagine gods wouldn’t be particularly constricted to any one gender)

-Survivors guilt! Lamb. Considering they’re the last of their species after the rest were massacred by the Old Faith, I think there’s plenty to explore with the implications such a horrible event might leave on them. I assume they’ve been on the run or trying to hide from the Old Faith prior to eventually being captured and executed, I wouldn’t doubt that all the while they were haunted by the atrocities committed against the rest of their kind and family. It’d be interesting if in this au they actually did wish to join the rest of their fallen species after growing so weary of being hunted down, only for death to apparently need them for their ends.

-A final deal between Lamb and Narinder, where while lamb does refuse to give the crown back to Narinder after beating all the bishops once, they promise to give it back to them upon finally being able to find and properly lay to rest the remains of their family/friends. Afterwards, lamb is content with handing death’s domain back to Nari and facing the afterlife as was intended from the start.

-Yandere! Narinder. What better to contrast lamb’s yearning for disappearance into the afterlife than if death itself wanted them to stay? I already have quite a few ideas for how I’d like to write my version of Narinder. Which I’ll likely expand more on in future posts. For now, I’ll simply say, Nari will be a level of tragic probably on par with lamb.

-The gods of the Old Faith ultimately being embodiments of the inevitable laws they represent. While they do hold sway and can control to a good degree whatever they preside over, they cannot do anything to change the foundation of the laws they represent. In a sense, they’re always bound to the very laws that give them power. Blessing and a curse at times. Doing some of my own world building for this should be fun

-An overall angst-fest ahead. I have a craving for the feels and I must subject these two to it.

-Perhaps I’ll make some art for this au. I think it’d be a nice change of pace, considering I don’t typically do fanart.

[necrotic-nephilim]

thank you for the tag, @sasheneskywalker!!!

rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.

favorite color: it changes regularly, but currently, a dusty/greyish purple

last song: Maps by The Front Bottoms

currently reading:

Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver is my current fiction read and i *hate* it with my entire being. don't read it.

Postcolonial Astrology: Reading the Planets through Capital, Labor, & Power by Alice Sparkly Kat is my current non-fiction read and so far, it's very good

i'm reading a lot of comics at the moment, but my main read is Manhunter (2004) which so far, is very good, i highly recommend. i'm also planning to read Midnighter (2007) and Black Widow (2014).

currently watching:

The Acolyte has been my most recent fixation so that's just on loop rewatching over and over in the background. a lot

i've been watching Pennyworth which is far better than i expected it to be, i'm really enjoying it

i also started Invincible, which i've been enjoying

idk if it counts but i've rewatched Madame Web a concerning number of times in the past few days.

currently craving: i'd kill for an Italian Cream Soda from tea2go rn

coffee or tea: tea. i used to be a big coffee person in my teens but my chronic illness doesn't like caffeine and it *really* doesn't like coffee so i just drink tea now, but i do love tea

hobby to try: the unrealistic hobby i'd like to get into a fanfiction binding, but that takes materials and resources i do *not* currently have. i think a more realistic answer is i've been meaning to get into marvel comics more.

current au: tbh the main AU i'm working on is a Lance Brunner-centric Post-Crisis fic where i'm completely rewriting his origins to make his death as Robin more significant but still something no one talks about, leading to the ressurection of Jason also reviving Lance and Jason going on his little spree, having no idea he's not the only dead Robin. i've figured out all of the backstory and how i want to characterize Lance, but the actual plot of the fic i'm still working out. i'm leaning toward Lance/Dick as a ship, but i haven't decided. i have so many notes and ideas though and i think it's funny to take a random one-off character from a random 60s comic and actually turn him into something substantial and how he'd shape the Batfamily. trust me i'm so close to infodumping about it here everyday.

i'm also working on a *really* messed up unhealthy Damian/Tim fic, where Damian purposefully breaks the timeline so Tim was never Robin and Damian was the third Robin instead. but when Bruce "dies" Damian realizes he has no idea where to start with finding Bruce so he has to go to a civilian!Tim for help, who has no idea the timeline was changed or that he was ever Robin in a different world. it's gonna be fun and fucked up and full of Damian's jealousy complex over Tim.

i don't know if i can come up with nine whole people to tag for this since i'm still new here but i can try: @searchforahero @divine-dominion @kevin-day-is-bi @kerakeriza @deepwithintheabyss

@maryshellyswife @alicemaem @justmyshittyspace @sandmanwhore and yeah that's all i got.just tagging some mutuals/ppl i see on my posts a lot!!!

[danwhobrowses]

Okay so this'll be the last post I make regarding Critical Role until c3e119 airs since while the antipathy and, for lack of a better word, deflation revolving around 118 has been a little disheartening, I do want to throw a few things that continue to bounce off the inside of my head out there before we get to the next episode;

I don't think it's needed (as someone who very much wants them all to survive - including ones I like less than others - and be able to continue figuring themselves out) for BH to die or be betrayed or be subject to additional punishment to justify what's happening. This fight IS their punishment, their consequence, their Finding Out after Fucking Around

Also, if the gods refuse to help BH - if asked - it proves Ludinus right. Refusing aid would indicate that they really are picking favourites out of self interest, plus the taking on Predathos option was only proposed to BH by one of their own, so it'd be double scummy

Campaign 3 has still had some great, funny and heartbreaking moments that we shouldn't forget about just because these current events are fresh, plus C1 and 2 weren't perfect - worth reminding that too

Honestly, if FCG were alive the same thing would've happened anyway; Matt would've made the coin flip be indecisive so the cast could make the choice and Imogen would've chosen the same way

While we definitely could've built to this better, this fight will provide the floor for BH to confront a key character motivation; be it preventing the overtaking and corrupting influence of a malicious or feral psyche, having to decide whether to trust that their ally can overcome it or follow through with what a superior entrusted them to do as a countermeasure, or simply trying to protect and prevent another friend from dying - which, alongside the likely map change and expected unique minis, is actually kinda exciting

Just, let's go into 119 with an open mind, okay? They have to earn it for sure but it's not over until it's over.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

The Oath an older sister takes is on par with that of a Paladins, and sometimes upheld with the very same ferocity…

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[unriding]

Me sneaking into your asks with this drabble:

Disclaimer: I have yet to get a good grasp of Moze's character so this might be a bit OOC and on your side as well (sorry). I did my best. Also, this was inspired by the post you made abt telling Moze your tasks for the day | 600+ words (not proofread)

.

.

.

In Moze's eyes, you reminded him of a dog catching a case of the zoomies.

You were quite literally everywhere. He'd find you talking to someone one moment before you're rushing off to do something else entirely the next. It seemed like you had quite a lot on your plate as of recently. Tasks, things you wanted to do, and so much more spinning around that mind of yours. You've told him a bit of your plans so he has a general idea. But seeing you juggling all of those tasks at once makes both admiration and concern bloom in his chest.

One time, Moze found you carrying a box filled with items. It would've been amusing to him how comical it was that the items piled so high— he could barely see you behind it. However, he did worry right after given how you almost tripped over something. He managed to catch you and the items before both came crashing all over the floor.

He insisted on helping you carry the items to wherever its destination was. It took a bit of pursuasion on his side. Convincing you that it truly wasn't a bother to him at all, and that he'd be very much glad to be of assistance to you.

"I need to get these delivered first. Then go stop by the shop to buy some things. After that…" You go on to ramble about the things you had to do to help get a better vision on what else you had to do. "Oh, no… I messed up." The smile on your face dropping at the thought that had slipped your mind until that moment. "I forgot to invite Jiaoqiu to dinner with the others—"

"It's tomorrow evening, right? He knows. I mentioned it last time when I spoke to him." Moze says with a calm tone.

You blink at him, slightly caught off-guard by the man beside you. Though it's immediately replaced with relief and gratitude. The smile on your face already back, lighting up your features once more. Infectious as always, it makes the corners of his lips tug upwards as well. A small part of him feels quite proud to have been able to help you ease your worries even by a bit.

And this is when you start noticing it.

Did you mention that you're running out of a certain skincare product, but you can't find the time to stop by the store to buy it? Moze conveniently has to stop by near the store and buys it for you. Did you also mention that you wanted to do a certain task but keep forgetting about it? He gently reminds you about it via message or verbal if he's nearby. Did you also happen to mention that you've been meaning to try out a certain desert from a cafe, but the schedule simply doesn't seem to allow you? No fear, he passes by the store to buy you the treat.

Moze doesn't see you as someone incapable of handling things by yourself. To him, he simply sees it as a way to show his care. If making a quick stop somewhere, sending you a small reminder of something you had to do that day, or even helping you out with the tasks you need to accomplish, makes you smile? Gives you a chance to take a break? Let you worry less about the things you need to do? It's worth it in his eyes.

He does his best to avoid making you feel like you're bothering or troubling him (you really aren't). Most of the time, he does them discrcetly and casually. Partially, since he's also scared that you'll think he's weird or a creep for acting like that.

Please don't think of him badly.

Moze truly means well.

[keylovesstuff]

It's Coronation Day!!!! Whoo!!

Hi everyone!!! my motivation and energy have finally aligned to get this done and I cannot be happier.

Little Events: Chapter 3- The Coronation

AO3

FFN

Note: There is a line in here that implies underage drinking nothing too detailed I promise but just in case wanna give you a heads up.

What does being an effective ruler mean to you? 

Peach had been thinking about this question for the last couple of days after Toadsworth proposed that she write a speech to share with the community that raised her. Everyone on the main council who had direct involvement in her physical and diplomatic training for years now, had complete confidence that she was ready. There were a handful of toads who thought otherwise and voiced their criticisms aloud.

What does she know about life and how the world works to make the best decision for their lives?

That question was the most frequent one she's heard from the people and even now with a few days to go, she still doesn't have an answer. Toadsworth had offered to help her out with the letter but she had declined for several reasons. For as much as she valued his insight, he already had his plate full with preparing for the ceremony and he was already stressing every little detail to make it all perfect. If anything, having him fret over something that should really be in her words from start to finish would frustrate them both for wanting it worded a certain way. For the most part thankfully she didn't have to worry about that with her current companion dozing off in the sunlight.

"Think any harder Peaches and your brain just might pop out" Bowser chuckled without opening his eyes.

"Excuse me but we all can't just pop out miraculous speeches that move a crowd within hours" she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out to the back of his shell. Adjusting the quill in her hand, Peach refocused her attention to the same four words that's been on the paper for the past hour and a half. 

Everything that came to mind no matter how she chose to word it didn't feel right. Should she just list her promises and present it to her people that way? She shook her head at the thought...that would be something a small child would do not someone turning sixteen. Bullet points are all fine but, elaborating those statements would definitely be expected.

"What a shame more people don't have my charismatic personality." Bowser finally opened his eyes, turning his head to face Peach who was once again pulled out of her train of thoughts by his words. "Oh  give me more credit, I can come up with something on the spot. Didn't even need a quill and paper for a brainstorm with my first speech" he added with a smirk.

"No way" Peach gasped aloud, setting her materials on the grass beside her. "You're telling me you didn't write anything beforehand or even rehearsed it several times in front of a mirror. That speech you gave when they crowned you King was way too good" she leaned towards him with each question.

"That's exactly what I'm saying and by the looks of what you have right now..." with a glance at the paper "Maybe you should give it a shot" he added as she snatched the sheet back up.

"Giving a speech with some sort or organization is one thing. Giving a speech without any preparation is another" Peach told him while looking thoughtfully at the paper. "I think if I write something down it would give me the confidence I need to face them" she finished and heard him scoff.

"It's that uncertainty there that makes your people think you're not ready to rule. If you can't even write a simple paper given days in advance what are you going to do if you're put on the spot?" He asked her seriously while examining his claws.

Peach froze as she considered his words and thought back on her interactions with people from the past week. Perhaps she could have been more confident in both her body language and word choice. Instead of inching away and shyly assuring the toads that she's ready to take on whatever challenges may come…she should have stood tall, looked them in their beady eyes, and even if it was fake confidence in that moment, they surely would have more faith in her now. A couple more quiet minutes passed of her thinking before she concluded that it would be another day of completing nothing. She folded the paper into sixths, put the quill in the pocket of her pants, placed the lid on her ink, and rolled her eyes.

"You're kind of sounding like Toadsworth, can we change the conversation?" Peach asked, crossing her legs and setting her hands in between them.

"Ugh don't compare a King as superior as myself to that old fool you call an advisor"  Bowser scrunched up his face following her lead and sitting up as well. "I'll have you banished from the darklands, the next time you say something like that" he added tone free of any amusement.

Peaches' stare matched the seriousness of his last statement that told him 'Toadsworth is far from a fool' and that he should take that back. Bowser backed down for the time being.

"Fine then don't compare how I'd say something to how your advisor would say it. I'm completely serious about that last part though." He finished.

"Joke's on you, Toadsworth would love to hear that I'm no longer allowed to step foot in your homeland" Peach giggled at the thought of The mustached toad smiling for miles if she were to tell him after four years of knowing each other that he told her to never come back again.

Toadsworth and Bowser got along well together most of the time. After all, Bowser gave him and the rest of the council decent advice on what a Kingdom being built from the ground up needed from firsthand experience. The Koopa also kept true to his word when it came to discovering unknown parts of their land for resources. Throughout the years they found a variety of consumable mushroom power ups. These served to greatly improve the toads productivity as they found the red ones greatly raised their size and strength. Yellow-orange mushrooms with red spots worked similarly to the red ones but grew its user to gigantic proportions which proved useful for taller buildings, her castle being the most recently completed project. There was a one person limit on the use of those to prevent any accidental crushings.

They found that blue mushrooms would miniaturize the user and even now, the toads weren't really sure how they felt about it. Already being three feet tall they didn't really like being that much smaller  and couldn't think of other tasks it could be useful for at this point. Then there was a Green that no one was sure of its functionality. After a couple attempts of consuming the mushroom with no effects, they decided it would be best to save what they found to study more thoroughly since they were such a rare find in the first place.That's where the positive interactions between the two ended.

Most disagreements between the Koopa King and Older Toad came from their approaches to Peach's leadership teachings. When it came to her obstacle courses, where Toadsworth opted for cardboard cutouts, Bowser commanded the minions of his army to take the places and dare them to hold back. The introduction of power ups brought on more problems as they went back and forth on whether she should or shouldn't be allowed to use them for certain exercises. Toadsworth would often tell Bowser off to his face about how sick he was for the look of pleasure in his eyes as she managed to barely avoid getting her head chopped off by a piranha plant or losing a power up after a small misstep. Majority of the time Bowser laughed in his face and told him to suck it up cause in a life or death scenario she may and may not make it as he told Peach to run the course again but in her heels.

Bowser's conceited attitude rubbed Toadsworth the wrong way and he always told Peach to not let the way he talks have any influence on her as if she didn't have her own mind. The whole month they've been going back and forth on every little detail for this coronation and other things that could probably be discussed at a later time if she was honest. 

Should the event start sometime in the late morning and run all the way into the afternoon? Or do they allow it to be an all night affair running into the next day?

The earlier it starts the better for everyone to be able to join and there are way more fun activities to do during the day. Versus Bowser's idea of celebrating all night rocking out and possibly indulging in beverages not fit for young toads.

They were not recreating his crowning as King where he had to take the trip to the darklands himself to escort the princess in training back home, catching taking a few sips of whatever was in that cup was Toadsworth's only response. 

They ended up settling for Peach's suggestion of starting around two in the afternoon and lasting into nine at night with the plus of shooting fireworks.

Fast loud rock music to keep everyone from the snooze fest that would come from soft soothing instrumental music that Toadsworth pitched.

Peach just suggested a mix of both cause everyone likes a variety of everything right? She knows she does even if her preference leaned more towards the instrumental playlist she grew up with, she's come around to the music in the Darklands.

They should do the allegiance signing at the... End of her speech it makes sense that way. Her main color should be...Pink. It's been her favorite for as long as she could remember. When can they start visiting and introducing her to other kingdoms...When everyone has free time to go together.

Fingers snapping in front of her face pulled her out of her thoughts. Shaking her head and looking up at him, she realized he was asking her a question. She hummed to let him know she was listening.

"Finally I swear you space out the most. Your King was asking what you wanted for your Birthday?" He repeated.

Rolling her eyes, she chose to ignore the first part of what he said. With all the preparations and struggling to write as of late, it was hard to remember that they chose to hold the coronation on her Birthday. Since she just appeared out of a pipe to them one day and she was too young to have any recollection herself, The toads just chose the day she came as the day they would celebrate her birth. Toadsworth chose this day as well to symbolize just how far she's come from being a tiny lost girl depending on them to this young woman who's fully capable of doing anything. Peach understood the sentimental meaning behind it all, even if she would go as far from saying she was capable. As the years have passed, even if they don't exactly see eye to eye on everything, her advisor would always be her number one fan and she would always appreciate the faith he has in her.

"I'm not sure" she told him honestly and then thought of a good idea with a gasp "how about you play something on your piano? You know that one melody you've been working on for awhile? It's so nice and I'm curious to see if you've gotten around to adding any lyrics to it" she gazed off in the distance.

"No" He simply answered as she whined out a 'c'mon' followed by a 'please' "as much as I would like to hear you beg. It's far from finished and the words haven't come to me yet." He finished.

"You asked me what I wanted and that's what I would like." She pouted. "So much for 'Mr.Words Come To Me In Seconds'" she mocked her hands mimicking air quotes.

"For that comment, now you don't get to choose. I'll get you whatever I want" he smiled proudly at her crossing her arms accompanied by her brows furrowing in anger with a 'whatever' in response. " back to the Birthday two questions. Will there be cake? If yes. Are you making it?" 

"Of course there's going to be cake and you know the answer to the secondary question. I rarely bake anything anymore." She answered and again reminisced about a hobby she was likely rusty at now.

Growing up she enjoyed watching Toadsworth and other adults prepare meals and as soon as she was tall enough to reach the countertop, Peach would be right next to them offering to add or mix ingredients together. It took awhile for Toadsworth especially but eventually, she was allowed to prepare full meals with little supervision and assistance. One year someone gave her a cookbook of recipes they wrote themselves and she immediately fell in love with the sweet treats. Once she got the hang of dishes, she grew confident to add her own twists on them. When everyone started getting serious about her training, being in the kitchen was one of the last places they let her go. It was in the early days of their friendship that she made cake one day and Bowser impatiently ate the entire thing and demanded she make another one.

"What a shame" was his only comment to that as he stood up and Peach followed his lead. "Anyway since you don't need my help with writing anymore I'm going to go and handle more important stuff. I'll see you in a few days.  Make sure there's some good stuff at that buffet table " He started in the direction of the pipe home.

"Ok I'll try. See you soon" Peach waved him off and once he was a good distance away she headed back towards the castle.

When Peach returned, she took note that Toadsworth wasn't in his office as the door was shut and locked. That was a good thing for now she supposed as she wasn't ready to have him question her about the speech. In fact maybe with the third and final change in atmosphere, she would finally string together the right words. She chose to go to her bedroom as a nice outfit change and fresh shower would probably rejuvenate her. On the way, she ran into one of the cooks, who offered to make and bring her a midday snack which she declined in favor of saving her appetite for dinner. 

Blow drying her hair halfway, she opted to let the rest of it air dry as she headed over to her dresser drawer. Peach pulled on a red pair of pajama pants and a plain pink tank top before slipping on her favorite fluffy light pink robe and some black bedroom slippers. By the window, sat her long white desk with a few dried up ink spots. There sat the paper from earlier which still had visible creases and the same four words that continued to taunt her. Ready to get started she sat down, pulled herself up to the desk, and grabbed her quill. The tip touched the next blank spot under the words and that's all she remembered before her mind went blank.

Peach kneeled before Toadsworth as he had asked her too. The audience had grown silent enough where you could hear a coin drop. Her heart was beating so fast she felt as if it would pop out of her chest at any minute. She kept her eyes on the ground and waited for her next order. The crown was placed atop of her head with only the slighted adjustments. With that she asked to stand and once more she was met with the hundreds of eyes on her.

"I give you the first...Princess Peach Toadstool. May she live a long healthy life and lead this Kingdom to many great things." Toadsworth finished and the crowd erupted in loud cheers and applause.

"All Hail Princess Peach" A lone toad somewhere amongst the others shouted. This coaxed others to join in as they repeated the phrase over and over again.

The echo grew fainter as the sound of knocking pulled her out of her dream that felt so real. Peach blinked her eyes several times as she refocused on her surroundings, glancing in the direction of her name being called from the other side of the door. Letting out a yawn she could feel drool on the left side of her cheek that she easily wiped off before looking at her hand. Stained in black she gasped loudly as she then noticed the knocked over ink cup that not only coated her hands but her paper as well. The voice on the other side was filled with panic as they called her name once more and asked if everything was okay. This time she responded.

"Uhh Yes sir I just spilled something. Please come in though." Peach stuttered out to Toadsworth now clearly registering his voice. She walked over to her vanity stand and grabbed a few wet wipes to get the ink stains off her hand and no doubt her face.

The slightly graying mustache toad opened the door and walked in and from the mirror's reflection she could see him eyeing every little corner of the room. Everything's in its place and the closets organized too she wanted to tell him reading his body language. The smell caught her attention before she noticed the serving tray in his hand.  Peach concluded she must've slept through dinner and the staff inside the castle couldn't get an answer from her, thus Toadsworth hand delivered her food himself. Cheep Cheep filet, rice, some mixed vegetables, and a cup of ice water all sat nicely on both the plate and coaster. She followed his movement as he went over to her soiled desk Noticing the mess he turned around and decided to place the tray on her bed instead.

"Peach Dear, your desk is an absolute mess. I fear that we won't be able to get a stain of that gratitude out no matter how good we wipe it" he placed his chin in between his fingers as he took in the damage. "I'll put in an order first thing in the morning and they should have a new one in here by the afternoon at the earliest." He assured her pulling out a miniature notepad and quill jotting down the reminder for himself.

Peach was about to speak up and tell him that there was no need to worry about the desk since it was still usable and the stains didn't bother her but, it seemed Toadsworth still had more to share as he continued.

"Though we're putting the final touches in your work office so there will be no need for you to bring anything extra to bed after all..."  He said as a matter of fact

"A Princess shouldn't do her work in the same space she should be getting her rest" Peach said along with him. She's heard it at least five times a day since they started working on it.

"Ah so remembered. Perfect, I'm very proud." He praised her and finally he noticed the paper on the desk. "Oh goodness was this the speech you've been working hard on?" She froze and hunched her shoulders at his question "It's simply unreadable but I trust that you finished it and took time to memorize as well. Yes?" He turned towards her and she avoided eye contact.

The long silence spoke volumes and was a dead give away of another day of procrastination. Peach figured she should at least give him something no matter how pointless it would be to him.

"I tried writing in the library and it was just too quiet. I went up to the hillside and even with Lord Bowser's company and advice, nothing came up." The scoff and 'predictable' comment at the mention of the Koopa from Toadsworth didn't go unnoticed. "I just came back home after that with the intentions of finishing it but I guess I fell asleep" she finished

Peach could feel the glare burn a hole on the side of her head as she crossed the room to get to the bathroom. From the corner of her eye she could see the disapproving shaking of his head and arms crossed. He waited for her to come out and sit down on the bed before he started talking again.

"You're cutting, finishing that speech awfully close for having two weeks on it would you not agree?" He inquired.

"I promise you I'll have it finished by tomorrow. I'll even leave it on your desk if you promise to only glance at it." She negotiated with him. 

"Have you forgotten about the last of the preparations we scheduled for the next two days? The dress rehearsal,  where the council would like to hear the speech beforehand to offer any last minute suggestion. Does all that sound familiar?" He reminded her by listing off each thing by his fingers.

All of that stuff did slip her mind but in fairness, she had 2-3 appointments everyday for the past two weeks with training sessions thrown somewhere in the mix. If Toadsworth didn't keep everything in his planner and stayed on top of her, Peach would probably be a no show at everything. He was taking his role as her royal adviser very seriously and showing that there was no one more suited for that role than he was.This stuff also reminded her of something she'd been meaning to ask him even if she already knew what he would say. There was no harm in trying though she supposed and just went for it.

"Toadsworth I was thinking, could I maybe do my own hair and makeup on the day of the coronation?" Again completely ignoring his previous inquiries. "I promise It'll look presentable." She told him. 

Toadsworth didn't answer her right away. He seemed to really be considering it and she could tell that he was mentally weighing the pros and cons of her request. The only fair reason she could see him denying her is because she's only been doing her own makeup for a couple of months. All the more reason for him to give her the opportunity to perfect the skill is what she could counter with. When Toadsworth makes up his mind about someone however, it's hard to sway him. 

"Absolutely not." He watched the hopeful expression drain from her face instantly "This is an extremely important event and it'll no doubt go down in the history books. You're still an amateur when it comes to both things and I will not have you looking any kind of way." He explained

Seemingly finished with his self rant, Peach was about to retort with a response of her own but, as soon as she opened her mouth, he did too.

"However, with it being your Birthday we'll let you have a little input in the process. Remember, everything needs to happen on time. I can't have you taking up three hours redoing your makeup or restyling your hair cause you're satisfied with it one moment and the next you're not. You do understand where I'm coming from right?" He asked her and gave himself a pat on the back when her face brightened with a wide smile. 

"That works! Thank you so much" she jumped off the bed nearly spilling the tray and knocking Toadsworth over as she wrapped her arms around him. "That's rude though I'm not that indecisive when it comes to getting ready. Give me a break" she told him half seriously.

"Would I say it if it wasn't true?" He returned the comment with a similar tone, they both shared a little laugh before. His expressions grew serious as he pulled her away from the embrace. "I do need you to get that speech done. You have till the morning of the rehearsal at the latest." She nodded eagerly.

"Pinky promise It'll be ready by then" she held out her finger waiting for him to lock together and seal the deal. He did.

"Well with that I'll be retiring to my quarters for the evening. Be sure to eat all your dinner and leave the tray in the hall for the staff to pick it up on their morning rounds." Toadsworth made his way to the doorway and Peach followed. "I'll be here at eight sharp to escort you to the first of your appointments. Do make sure you bring the paper and quill in case inspiration strikes you while we're about." He told her.

"Yes sir, Toadsworth. Goodnight and I hope you get plenty of rest." Peach wished him. Now that he mentioned eight in the morning, that reminded her how they didn't go over tomorrow's schedule. No use in saying anything about it now she figured.

"Same to you as well my dear. Please come and see me if you need anything.  I'll be up for a little while longer. " He finally said, turning to make his way down the hall.  

Peach closed the door behind him after a few moments. Not long after finishing her meal and one final trip to the bathroom for the night, she lay comfortably in bed. The only light source came from the moonlight as it shone on the desk. Even now the right words still hadn't come to her and while it was frustrating she knew thinking about it wouldn't get it done. Pushing those thoughts aside for now she faced away to stare at the door instead. Closing her eyes it took her over an hour to finally fall asleep. 

Two days came and went like a blur and Peach could not have dreaded it more with the knot in her stomach. She felt as if the moment she got out of bed, she'd puke up last night's dinner. The sunlight that greeted her, did nothing but burn her eyes and in turn hurt her head. To keep the room from spinning she laid face down and pulled both the pillow and covers over her head. Though hopeless, she wished she was maybe a week in the future already crowned and working on whatever assignment that required her attention. That same knocking on the door from two nights ago, did nothing for the way her heart was rapidly beating as she tried to curl more into herself to be as small as possible.  

"Peach My Dear, it's Toadsworth can I come in" He called out as chipper as ever. 

"Come in!" She groaned out weakly. Glad someone sounds like they're in a good mood she envied.

The knob twisted and in walked Toadsworth. Similarly to the other night, she smelled the food first but that didn't coax her one bit into removing the covers. If anything it spoiled her appetite even more.

"Happy Birthday to you my dear and here's to a wonderful coronation day." He cheered. Taking the tray over to the new desk he sat it down and finally took a better look at the bundled object on the bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked, a bit worried.

"Can we maybe...um I don't know...do this at a later date?" Peach asked him in a quiet strained voice.  She had to repeat herself a little louder as he didn't hear her the first time.

"I'm afraid not my dear, unless you're really-" he gasped aloud causing her to flinch slightly at the sound. He was at the side of her bed in an instant pulling the covers away. This made Peach finally move the pillow out the way as she stared tiredly back at him. "You're not sick are you? I should've been more observant of your health these past days." He pushed her bangs out of her face in order to feel her forehead. 

I wish Peach thought to herself miserably as Toadsworth began to mark off all the common symptoms associated with sickness. No fever, Throat feels fine, No dry cough, No stuffy or runny nose, and no red eyes. Nothing. The next thing he asked made her sit up in bed sharply, turning a bright cherry red in embarrassment.

"Oh perhaps your monthlies decided that today would be a good morning to pay you a visit. Never matter, just do what you usually do and I'll get someone to make you a herbal tea and if necessary I'll get the doctor to come over." He assured her. "My apologies for not taking this into consideration when picking a date. I should've done a better job at tracking it" he spoke aloud as he started off. He made it two steps before he felt her hand grip his turning to face her once more.

"It's not that and please don't ever track that please. I can do it on my own." She begged him.

"Well if you're not sick in any way, what seems to be troubling you this morning? We got some time to talk about it. Maybe I can help" he pulled himself up on her bed and covered her hand with both his urging to be honest and that he was listening.

"I suppose, I'm just extremely anxious about everyone's reaction to everything." She told him looking down at their hands.

Truth is all the outcomes that have come across her mind have been nothing but negative. Almost all of them ended in the same scenario: 

The toads not accepting her as their leader and banishing her to some unknown land.

Peach felt silly to think something like that would happen in a million years but, there was this nagging voice in the back of her head telling her otherwise. Other minor things included forgetting her speech and stumbling over all her words after rehearsing it repeatedly all night. There was also tripping on her feet despite being able to walk  perfectly fine in heels for years now. Finally she would rather disappear, if for some reason she just broke out in tears in front of the people that trust her to be strong regardless of what's going on. She didn't notice her breathing slightly escalate or her hands shake involuntarily until she felt Toadsworth squeeze them, bringing her back to the present.

"Words probably won't do much to ease your anxiety about this but it really is all that I can provide" He told her honestly. "I want you to take a deep breath and just take time to remember the most important thing. You know what that is right?" She followed his instruction. A deep inhale and  an exhale. Shaking her head at the question. He chuckled "I know you know it but I have no problems reminding you. Just as much as you want to succeed, we all want to see you do so as well. We'll stand by you through everything that happens. We may be bigger in numbers then when you were younger but we'll always be a community that takes care of each other, yes?" He told her confidentiality.

Toadsworth was right about both statements. While it eased her nervousness a bit, it didn't go away entirely. If it was anything she learned from growing up amongst the toads, they had unconditional love and loyalty to each other and would always be there to lift each other up no matter how bad things get. She nodded her head in agreement.

"Good. Now I'll return in an hours

 That should be enough time for you to get situated for the morning." He rubbed her hands gently before getting up to leave.

"Toadsworth" she called out to him. Pausing in the doorway he looked for her to continue. "Thank you for the wishes for earlier and I'm going to make you all proud" she promised.

"Of Course and you've already made me prouder than you'll ever know." He gave her a wide smile and with that he left.

Peach carried out her usual morning routine with a new purpose and feeling a bit better about herself. In between mouthfuls of fruits, Bowser had sent his 'gifts' to her and the staff delivered it outside her door. A potted piranha plant that she'll put on the balcony till it learns to obey or she accidentally kills it in self defense. A hefty bag of what sounded like gold coins... someone's feeling generous. Lastly a piece of paper that she at first assumed was a portrait of himself as he did that every year however, this paper was wrapped in a red ribbon. It took her a minute to realize that this was the treaty they agreed on all these years ago. Cutting it close by sending it the day off but Bowser has always done things on his time and terms.

Peach placed the document on her desk. She figured when she meets back up with Toadsworth he'll read over the details and they'll negotiate things at a later date if need be. After handing over said paper, Toadsworth took her to the hairdresser and told her that he'd see her around an hour before the event got started. They tried out multiple hairstyles yesterday to see which one she liked the most. At one point they narrowed down styles to one long single braid or just curling it and styling it in a cute updo or letting it hang down. That's when she flipped through the book and saw a variety of different hair buns so they tried them out until she found the one. Everyone loved the rose bun and they opted to brush her signature bangs in and added a small pink heart shaped hair clip. 

Peach touched up her mascara a bit, having done it earlier before coming after a couple toads applied her makeup. The toads let her put on the light pink lipstick herself. While they got outfits from other places, The toads crafted most of the clothing in her wardrobe and they went all out creating gowns just for today. She must have tried on over two dozen different custom dresses the other day. By the third hour she felt as if her legs would give out standing in one spot for so long.  Between all the yes's, no's,  try the other one on again, and if you like this one you she thought it would never end. Everyone instantly fell in love and agreed that the final dress she tried on was the one. 

A powder pink floor length spaghetti strap v-neck dress with lace on the top. For added modesty they paired it with a long cape the same color. Peach had just finished sliding on the 6-inch silver heels when one of the toads came over to her with a flat light pink gift box tied with a hot pink ribbon. It's from Toadsworth who told them to give it to her once she was dressed.  They left her alone in the room to open it and she almost broke into tears upon seeing it along with a handwritten note. A sapphire jeweled brooch and a pair of matching big sphered earrings, her favorite gemstone for as long as she could remember. 

"It's beautiful just like your eyes"  he told her when he caught her admiring the gem through the glass.

The note as simple as it was made her heart swell with happiness. It said:

" Happy Birthday my beautiful Princess,

I'm so proud of the person you're growing into. You're so confident, strong, and kind everything a good leader should be. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things you will continue to do in the future. 

Forever by your side, Toadsworth"

Peach reread it several times fully taking in all the words. With a long deep breath she folded the note and placed it inside the lid of the box. She stood in front of the mirror and put on the earrings first. She positioned the brooch in different places around her chest, before settling by pinning it in the middle. Time seemed to fly by as she admired her final appearance only pulled out of her thoughts at the toad guard asking if she was ready to be escorted to the throne room. Two of them led her in the front while two others followed behind.  The walk that seemed so short now seemed never-ending now as the nerves from earlier started making its way back up.

Too distracted to notice, the toads stopped in front of the large brown double door and she almost bumped into them. They were waiting on the green toad told her. It shouldn't be long now a yellow toad said from behind. This was it,  the real deal, her one and only chance to make a good impression as a Princess. Do it as you rehearsed and They will love it, was what she kept saying in her head. From behind the door she could barely make out the words Toadsworth was saying until he said 'I give you Peach'. 

Not wasting even a second more, both toads each took a side and pushed the door open. Peach squared her shoulders and stood tall and faced forward. The atmosphere around her went silent as they took the tread towards the steps. From the corner of her eyes she could see the orchestra of toads playing their instruments. Both sides were filled with citizens applauding and smiling at her entrance. Bowser did take his spot at the front and even he seemed to be impressed with her newfound confidence. The guards broke off to the left and right sides and pivoted facing each other as they reached the first step.

Peach continued forward as practiced. Heart beating faster with each step up. Toadsworth stood at the top holding a pillow with her golden ruby and sapphire decorated crown. The final step came quicker than she was expecting and once she was next to Toadsworth, she turned to finally face the audience. With a raise of her right arm the applause and music faded into silence. This was it she willed herself and with one final exhale she was ready to speak.

“Good afternoon my people. I want to first start off by thanking each and every one of you for being here today as I take the first step towards being someone you guys can look too for protection and to depend on to make the best choices possible for you all." She started and surprised her own self at how clear her words were coming out. "I want you all to know that you can always come to me with any concerns you have and I will hear you out through everything. I won't promise that there won't be any mistakes but I will do my best to remedy them as soon as they happen. It is with the love and kindness you've shown me all my life that has taught me what it means to grow a  community. So I promise to take all those teachings and put them into practice to keep it growing. Thank you for giving me the chance to be your leader. I won't let you down" She finished with a graceful curtsy to them all and once again the audience erupted in applause and cheers.

"You may now kneel" Toadsworth told her and the audience once again went silent as she followed his instructions. 

She felt the crown being placed on her head. It's as if with that one object all the responsibilities fell on her shoulders at once. While anxious about it, at the same time, she was ready to take on those challenges to the best of her abilities.

"You may rise." Again at his word, she did as he asked. "I give you all the first in name. Princess Peach Toadstool of the mushroom kingdom. May she do amazing things for us all" Toadsworth announced.

"All Hail Princess Peach" The entire throne room was filled with toads shouting the phrase over and over again. The Koopa King himself even joined in.

Peach was ready to show them all what she was really capable of.

[loppiopio]

the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅

(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)

it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>

(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)

[jazzzzzzhands]

Oh I got an ask!! And ohh it feels good to draw again!

It's nice to have an excuse to doodle!

Please I welcome asks of art requests during this time of art block!

(i also miss my Groovy au if someone wants to send me an ask..)

[helianskies]

ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.