#if I see any Sirius hate I will rage

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[myfictionaldreams]

Day 17: Hate Sex - Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You were in Slytherin, it was in your blood to hate Sirius Orion Black, so why can’t you stop thinking about his stupid, handsome face?

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, hate sex, arguing, mocking, teasing, sexual tension, enemies with benefits, alcohol, size difference, praise kink, choking, dom/sub, slight degrading, rough sex, edging,

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“Fuck my life; why the hell is he in here?” you exclaim as Sirius Black saunters into the library with all the swagger and arrogance of someone ready to cause a riot.

“Here we go”, another student mutters under their breath from across the room. You weren’t sure who, but you glared in the general direction of whoever had said it.

It was infamous that you absolutely loathed Sirius, and he, in return, hated you with just as much passion. You were natural enemies; he was in prideful Gryffindor, and you a cunning Slytherin, but the hatred delved deeper than just this. You thought he was a pompous, arrogant prick who bullied Slytherins - mostly you - and seemed to always get away with it every single time. He had directed his pranks towards you more times than you’d care to count. You were constantly on high alert, paranoid that another attack was coming from the Gryffindors. Seeing any shade of red filled your heart with dread every single day.

Today, you were having a relatively good morning, mostly spent revising in the library with a towering pile of books beside you. It was a warm summer’s day, so most students were outside, which was always your favourite time to study, not having to fight with the others for specific books or for an area of the library to work.

Another reason you preferred to stay in the castle was that the Marauders were likelier to be out, causing havoc where the crowds were formed. You cursed loudly at seeing them in the library, instantly ruining your calm day.

“Well, well, look what dirt turned up in the library. I’m surprised you even know how to read, Sunshine”, Sirius taunts as he immediately struts over to your table, picking up one of the books in your pile and idly flicking through it whilst leaning his weight against the table.

You sigh heavily through your nose at the nickname, loathing it more than any other pet name that he decided to call you, mainly as it originated from a prank in your first year where he’d stained your hair bright luminous yellow and thus, Sunshine was his favourite taunt. “Please fuck off, I’m only going to warn you the once Black, and give me the book back!”

“Why would I leave? These books all seem highly intelligent for your silly little mind. Maybe I should help read to you, see here, this is what they call the ‘title’, it means what the book is called-”

“Sirius, I swear to Merlin, if you don’t shut the fuck up-”

“What’s going on here?” the librarian rushes over, interrupting your seething threat with her stern face, glancing between you and Sirius, who was grinning, ready to woo the teacher.

“Oh, nothing at all, Professor. I was just asking if I could borrow this book when she started to shout at me”, Sirius explained with surprisingly good acting skills that had your eyes widening and mouth gaping open with anger.

Before you could even begin to justify Sirius’ lies, the librarian turned to you, her lips pursed and eyes sharp. “Please leave the library. I won’t have you causing a commotion like this”.

She leaves before you can stand up for yourself, your cheeks flooding with heat as your blood boils with anger. Especially as your enemy begins to laugh tauntingly, head tipping back as he obnoxiously laughs, throwing the book back onto your pile.

“Thank god for that; I might be able to concentrate without a slithering snake like you here”.

You stand abruptly, wand in your shaking hand as you rage angrily, “I fucking hate you!”

He steps closer, invading your personal space as he smirks down at you, “The feeling is mutual, Sunshine. Now, do you want me to help you pack up your crap, or can you manage that all by yourself?”

Before you can answer, you’re both interrupted by a calm voice, “Sirius, leave her alone, will you?” Remus tried to convince his friend to step away. With Sirius distracted, you start roughly shoving your items into your school bag before turning back to them both, especially Sirius.

“I hope you choke”. With one last glare, you purposefully bashed your shoulder into Sirius, knocking his balance slightly as you stormed off.

However, as you passed a couple of Hufflepuffs, you overheard one whispering to another, “They probably just need to fuck, and they’d get over this stupid tension”.

“What the fuck did you just say?!” you demand, stopping in front of them, looking between them as their heads dropped to hide their faces. “That’s disgusting. How dare you even say something like that-” you begin to chastise, your wand returning to your hand as a reflex to defend yourself.

“Excuse me!” the Librarian returns to your side, which only makes you more frustrated as you’re stopped from doing what you really want.

“I’M LEAVING!” you scream, gathering the attention of everyone; you promptly scowl at them all, specifically Sirius, who you expected to see grinning at you getting into trouble, but instead, he was only a step behind you with an odd, wondering expression on his face.

You don’t stay to ponder what he was looking at as you grip your bag closer to your body and storm off. How could someone even think something so disgusting!? You and Sirius fucking?! Absolutely not. You’d rather walk around Hogwarts naked than go anywhere near Sirius fucking Black.

A few hours later, you’d found your friend lounging beside the lake, where you promptly joined her with a huff. “Oh no, what did Sirius do now?” she says, knowing your sour mood could only be caused by one person.

You explain with increasing agitation, “And then, you’ll never guess what some Hufflepuffs said! They said that me and Sirius Black,” You shiver for emphasis, “Need to shag, and we’d stop arguing! I mean, can you believe it? That’s disgusting; I can’t think of anything worse!” You’d expected your friend to look disgusted, just like how you felt, but instead, she raised one eyebrow with an unphased expression. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Well, I mean… He’s not that bad to look at, and from what I’ve heard, he’s very much a people-pleaser in the bedroom. Anyway, you know what they say,  if you’re being teased by someone it’s most likely because they have a crush on them and I must say… You’re both always teasing each other”.

Even though your friend grins and mocks you, you still find it offensive that she would even say such a thing. “Are you kissing me? Sirius Black is a self-centred, arrogant asshole who only thinks about himself. There is no way I would ever go anywhere near him!”

“Yeah, but you can’t deny that he’s handsome. Even though he’s a Gryffindor, he's from the Black lineage, with his long hair, dreamy eyes, and stunning smile. There’s also the fact that he plays quidditch, so I bet those thighs of his are scrummy”.

Shaking your head at her words, you sigh, “That doesn't matter, he’s still-”

“So you admit it?” She cuts you off with a knowing smile.

“Admit what?” you question innocently.

“That you think he’s handsome”, she states confidently with a shit-eating grin.

“I’m not saying that, I mean- Uh… I don’t know!” You throw your hands into the air, exacerbated, “I guess he’s handsome, but that doesn’t change what an asshole he is”.

Your friend shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe this answers all the tension. The two of you need to fuck, and maybe all the arguments will stop”.

“If you ever say that again, I promise I’ll curse you. Right, I’m changing the subject. I don’t want to think about him anymore. Are you still going to the party later in the Ravenclaw's common room?”

“Definitely! I can’t wait. Are you going?”

“Yes! I need a drink after today”.

As the moon came out to play, so did all of the older students throughout Hogwarts, as it seemed everyone was going to the party. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you sighed in frustration as you couldn’t style your hair correctly, too distracted thinking about that good-for-nothing, long-haired, handsome idiot.

There was that word again. Handsome. ‘Was he handsome?’ you thought to yourself. Of course, he was, with his grey sparkling eyes, he was one of the tallest in the year, lean from all of his quidditch playing, and his hair was always clean and effortlessly styled, and his clothes were always smart and expensive looking, the only part of him that you could tell was from his pure-blood status.

You hated that you couldn’t stop thinking about him. Undoubtedly, you hated him, but would it be the worst to shag him? You shivered at the thought, internally demanding that the idea needed to leave your mind immediately, ignoring the pulsing between your legs as an image flashed into your head of his face between your legs.

You shouted in frustration, giving up with your hair and deciding that it would have to do. At least your dress was beautiful, a Slytherin-green floor-length gown with silky smooth material accentuating your body and a long slit up the right side revealing your thigh. It was lavish and probably over the top for a common room party, but it was so rare that you could dress up, so you seized the opportunity. You’d applied a generous amount of make-up and silver high heels to match the dress, adding a couple of inches to your height.

The problematic part was sneaking up to the Ravenclaw common room, but thankfully, there was a system of students on the watch to lead the way there. Once inside, you poured yourself a drink of whatever was in the cauldron and found a couple of your friends already there.

Ten glorious minutes of happiness passed before it all came crashing down around you as James Potter shouted, “The party has arrived!” Not only him but the other Gryffindors had entered, making you roll your eyes and drink a hefty glug of the alcohol in your cup, savouring the burn as it rushed down your throat.

You couldn’t see him immediately, and you hate that you searched the crowd looking for him; you pretended that it was because you wanted to be prepared if he walked over to you and no other reasons whatsoever. There he was, standing with his back to you as he poured his drink with Remus.

‘Fuck’, you cursed to yourself, quickly looking away as your cheeks warmed. Why did he have to look so good? It seemed his surname was his favourite colour today as he wore all-black, well-worn combat boots paired with baggy black jeans and a tight t-shirt that seemed to stretch over the well-toned muscles of his arms and shoulders. It wasn’t just this that had your thighs clenching together to try and relieve some building tension. Still, for once, he’d decided to tie his hair up in a loose bun, some strays of hair already loosening, but for some reason, that only made him more attractive, and did he always have an earring?

You finished the rest of your drink as you realised just how much attention you gave Sirius. You need to get him out of your head, so dancing with your friends would be the best distraction for now, but you fully anticipated that he would come over and ruin your night sometime soon.

However, Sirius stayed on the other side of the party, which even your friends commented was odd, considering he always loved making your life miserable. You continued to shrug it off, saying you were having a great time because of it; however, your eyes wandered over to him occasionally, and it seemed he always had the same idea as you would catch each other's eye and then quickly look away embarrassed.

The night continued, the music increasing in volume, and now that you weren’t worried about Sirius interrupting, you slowed down with the alcohol, not wanting a hangover in the morning.

“SOMEONE SNITCHED TO FILCH, HE’S GETTING THE PROFESSORS! EVERYONE RUN!” A second later, the entire party was shoving and pushing each other to get out of the door, running in different directions.

Some teachers were already in the corridors, catching students, giving them detentions and taking away house points. You followed a small crowd, struggling to keep up with your heels, which you now severely regretted; however, it was a small blessing when Professor McGonagall caught the group at the end of the corridor, so you quickly turned down a deserted corridor, breathing heavily and beginning to sweat from the exercise and fear.

Just as you turned down a corridor dimly lit by fires on the wall, someone from behind grabbed your arm, forcefully pulling you in another direction. Before you can comprehend what is happening, you’re engulfed in darkness, and a broad hand is shoved over your mouth as you’re pushed against the door to the store cupboard you were just pulled into.

“Shhh, someone was behind us, " Sirius whispered from the darkness; even though you couldn’t see him, you knew his face was in front of yours because you could feel the warmth of his breath on your face.

Your instinct was to try and shove him off, but then there were echoing footsteps in the corridor outside. You both freeze, not even daring to breathe in case you’re caught. Both of you listened intently until there was only silence on the other side of the door as you slammed your elbow into his stomach.

His hand drops from your mouth, allowing you to whisper, “Get the fuck off me, don’t ever touch me again”.

Now that you had a moment to calm down, as he moved back into a space, you could see a slither of him from the gap around the door that allowed the light to seep in. Sirius chuckles lowly, rubbing his stomach from where you’d elbowed him. The deep laugh seemed to affect you straight between the legs as, for some reason, you found the noise mildly erotic.

“Why? You never know; you might like it when I touch you”, Sirius taunted, his voice soft and yet husky at the same time.

Your entire body seemed to buzz with anticipation and excitement at his words because there was no way Sirius Black had just flirted with you in some capacity.

“Shut up”, you say bashfully, folding your arms over your middle.

In the crack of light seeping in, Sirius' head tilted to the side, “What, no comeback, oh my witty little snake, have you lost your tongue?”

It seemed you had no air left in your body at his words, but you forced yourself to move away from the door, turning with the intention of leaving. However, he hears something you don’t as he’s pushing you flush against the door; even with your heels, he’s towering over you.

Before you could question what he was doing, he rested his index finger across your lips and whispered into your ear, “There’s someone outside the door”.

You can’t hear that, though, as there’s only the pounding of your heart rattling in your ears with how close he is to you. He was inhumanly warm, and this close, you could smell his addicting aftershave that reminded you of citrus and oak, but lingering in the background was vanilla from his shampoo as a couple of strands of his hair fell into your face. In this position, you couldn’t see him; even as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you had to rely on your other senses. 

You swallow audibly, causing your lips to press harder against his finger until the cool metal of his ring is indented into your chin. His breath is just as warm as his chest against yours, and this close, you could smell that he’d been drinking fire whiskey.

The pressure on your lips lightens as whoever is inspecting the corridor disappears again. Sirius doesn’t remove himself, though; instead, he allows his finger to do its exploration in the darkness, skimming across your cheek, over the shell of your ear, which causes you to shiver and your nipples to harden beneath the dress however the fabric was so thin that Sirius could feel them against his chest.

His finger continues to move down your jaw until it is at the point of your chin, pushing it up so you're forced to tip your head back further against the door.

“Sirius”, you whisper in a pleading tone, and he moves, fast and brutal as his mouth connects with yours. The kiss was fiery, full of passion and need. The hand under your chin desperately moves into your hair to hold your head in place while the other grips your hip, pulling your body closer to his. Your hands were just as grabby as one reached for his shirt, feeling the hard muscle beneath, and another moved to his jaw, feeling the softness of his recently shaved face.

You both moved as one, tilting your heads to the side to deepen the kiss further, mouths opening to allow the exploration of your tongues, tasting and wanting more. You weren’t thinking clearly, and neither was he but damn with the consequences.

Sirius bit into your bottom lip gently, tugging it back until it was snapping back to normal, but he didn’t stop there as his mouth began to move down your throat as he moved your head back. Open mouth, hot kisses were pushed into your skin until your toes curled in your high-heeled shoes.

You needed more of him, all of him, feeling so pathetically desperate that sweet little whines kept spilling from your lips as he sucked just below your ear like he knew that was your special spot.

Reaching behind his head, you roughly pulled the hairband out of his hair so, at long last, you could run your fingers through his soft locks. Sirius seemed to enjoy the touch as his hips thrust into yours, and you could feel the evidence of his arousal, rock hard in his jeans. Your arousal was currently ruining your underwear, clit throbbing and pussy begging to be touched in some way.

This could be a sign to stop and reason that this was your enemy. It had been since day one at Hogwarts, and now you’re ready to rip each other's clothes off.

As Sirius’ mouth moved lower, teeth scraping over your collar bones, you decided to be brave and lift your right leg, wrapping it around his hip to hold him closer. Sirius instantly gripped your thigh, groaning to himself when he was met with bare skin as he’d forgotten this was the side with the slit in the material.

“This god-damns dress”, he praised against your skin, which made you laugh lightly at how desperate he sounded. The heat of his palm against your naked thigh only made you want to feel him closer as he kissed you again. Higher and higher, his hand creepy, gripping your thigh until he pushed the silky material further up your body until you could feel your underwear was on show. This only encouraged you to pull his hips closer with your heel until his jean-covered cock was pressing against your panty-covered cunt.

Sirius shuddered, his hands tightening on your thigh and in your hair, as his tongue devoured your mouth, capturing every little moan you released as his hips thrust forward. It was your turn to tremble as the roughness of his jeans was felt through your thin underwear, nudging your clit and causing more moisture to gather in your underwear.

Everywhere felt like it was burning: your skin, core, and head. Everywhere that Sirius touched left a scolding mark as you couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t fathom waiting a moment longer.

Pulling your face away from his, with a harsh pull on his hair to snap his head back, you roughly demanded, “Just fuck me already, Sirius”.

He grinned in the darkness as he rutted his hips harder against yours, knowing what you truly wanted. Sirius’ mouth returned to your through as he darkly said, “Say please”.

It was an effort not to roll your eyes, but you did huff as you, in turn, pressed your pussy against his crotch. “I’m not saying-”

Any sassy remark you were thinking of saying was cut off by the giant hand now wrapped around your throat, not hard enough that you couldn’t breathe but enough to draw your attention as his mouth hovered over yours. You could feel from the shape of his lips that he was smirking as he repeated with more emphasis and slowing of the words, “Say. Please”.

Your mouth dried of any saliva at the tone of his voice, instantly falling into submission as you quietly asked, “Please fuck me, Sirius”.

“Good girl”, he praises against your lips, making your knees buckle slightly, having never been praised like this before.

A hand wrapped around your ankle as he moved it back to the floor, and suddenly, you were holding onto the door as his body dropped to his knees, and you didn’t realise until now just how much you were relying on his body to keep you upright.

Sirius’ hands were underneath your dress, grasping the edges of your underwear and sliding them down your thighs. As you stepped out of them, he moved your dress back again, your bare pussy on display to him, and even though it was too dark for him to see, you could still feel the warmth of the flush on your face.

“We haven’t got time for that, just fuck me already”, you snapped at him. Of course, you would love for your earlier thought of his face between your legs to be a reality, but right now, you needed his cock inside you before you combusted on the spot.

Thankfully, Sirius didn’t argue or get you to beg for his cock any more as he stood back up, towering over you again as the rustle of his belt being undone was like music to your ears. “Always so fucking demanding”, he scolded light-heartedly under his breath.

Reaching for his waist in the darkness, you were planning on helping him undo his jeans to free his cock, and you wanted to feel what you were dealing with. Like every other time you’d known him, Sirius had other plans.

Your hands were pushed away as he grabbed your hips instead, but only so that he could turn you around. Your face was unglamourlessly shoved against the wooden door as Sirius rushed to gather the material of your dress until it was bunched around your waist. Clinging onto what he had planned, you pushed your arse out from him and were greeted with the pleasant sensation of something hot and hard against your cheeks.

“Spit”, Sirius demanded into your ear as he pressed his fingers into your chin. It felt filthy and slightly degrading to spit into his hand, but as you could hear him wiping the slickness onto his cock, you didn’t care anymore. In fact, it only added more eroticism to your thoughts.

Neither of you said a word as he adjusted the height of his hips, pressing into your arse cheeks to spread them slightly as suddenly something knocked against your hole. Sirius helped to guide his cock as he slid it into your pussy, your walls burning from the stretch of the sheer size of him. 

“Fuck! You could have warned me you’re so big!” you chastised him. Inch after inch opened you up wider until his hips were flush with yours, and his hand rested back in your hair, pulling your head back against his shoulder.

“Sorry, Sunshine”, he chuckled, kissing your cheek with a hint of sarcasm in his tone. You couldn’t help but hear that stupid nickname in his sultry deep voice, and with his entire dick pressed into your cunt, you couldn’t help but squeeze him tighter. Sirius ground his hips in harder, smiling against your face, “I fucking knew you liked it when I called you that”.

You wanted to retort back to him, hating when he had the upper hand, but as he began to withdraw his cock, any coherent thought disappeared from your mind entirely. As he pushed back in, you couldn’t help but rise to your tiptoes, following the lead of his body fucking into you.

Sirius made sure you were accustomed to his size before beginning to properly fuck you. All the tension, the bullying back and forth, the teasing and times of losing your mind at the idiot that was Sirius Black had all been worth it as he fucked you unlike anyone before. He was toweringly tall when you were face to face, but when his chest brushed over your back, you felt much smaller as he seemed to crowd around you everywhere.

He breathed heavily into your ear, occasionally biting your lobe or sloppily kissing the junction between your shoulder and neck. However, it was the pounding of his cock that had you completely and utterly at his mercy. His strokes were deep and long, his entire length disappearing into your sopping-wet hole. It felt so unbelievably good that you didn’t even care that you were near enough to scream out your moans for anyone in the corridor to hear.

Your hand reached behind your head to find him, your fingers slipping into his hair again to hold them. Harder and harder, he pushed the two of you into the door; it was a surprise that the barricade didn’t break with the force he was putting into fucking you.

Then you felt the deep coiling in your core, like everything inside of you was tightening, all pleasure amplifying as your orgasm teetered on the very edge. It seemed Sirius could feel this too, with how tightly your spongey walls were suffocating him as he grunted louder into your neck.

“Wait, don’t cum yet; I’m so close, don’t cum”, you begged, not entirely wanting it to end just yet. Sirius gasped, his mouth opening wide as his eyes did the opposite as they clenched shut as he concentrated on fucking you and not orgasming.

It doesn’t take long to feel the first flutterings of that eye-wateringly beautiful sensation between your legs as you quickly stammer, “I’m cumming! Fuck- You can cum, please cum with me”. Sirius’ legs nearly gave out underneath him, hearing your sweet words.

As your pussy contracted in wet bursts around him, Sirius released every drop of cum inside of his body, deep into your walls so that you could feel yourself becoming full and it beginning to drip out as it became too much. His thrusts slowed to a stop as you both slumped against the door, catching your breath for a moment, the tiny store cupboard now becoming suffocating.

The after-orgasm guilt hit you like a tonne. What had you done? You’d just fucked your worst enemy, and his cock was still inside you.

You couldn’t help yourself; you needed to ruin the moment, need to get free and cry into your pillow over what an idiot you are, so with hate and distaste, you turned your head further over your shoulder. “This changes nothing between us”.

Sirius took a moment to process the words before his mouth was hovering over your ear, his breath tickling your skin, “Not at all, Sunshine, I still hate you”.

Good, you think. That’s what you’d hoped because you still hated him too… right?

With a grunt, you elbow his stomach again but with less force, just needing him to back away from you. Thankfully he did without any arguments, his softening cock slipping out of you and globs of his cum following this.

With trembling knees, you shoved your dress back down. Reaching around in the darkness, you found the door handle and turned, neither of you saying another word as you walked out of the door, hair a mess, make-up running down your cheeks, dress creased, lips swollen and cum still dripping down your thighs.

You walk with as much confidence as possible, keeping your head high as you try not to turn around and see if he is watching you walk away. It was only as you turned the corner that you realised you’d left your underwear in there with him; cursing to yourself, you turned back, not wanting another student or someone to find them. You weren’t sure if you were happy or sad when you returned to the cupboard to find Sirius gone, but not only that, but your underwear was too.

[moutainrusing]

labels

“Guys! I’m gay!” Sirius announced to their dormitory.

“Awesome!” James grinned.

“He means homosexual, not just happy, by the way,” Peter side-eyed James.

“Oh! Then double awesome! You’re happy and homosexual!”

“Hell yeah!” Sirius pumped his fists in the air, glancing at Remus, which Remus pretended not to see, even though he could see everything perfectly well in his peripheral vision. He glared intensely at the pages of his book, refusing to engage, feeling incredibly uncomfortable, like he was trapped, and the room was a cage, closing in on him, forcing him to adhere to certain labels, fixed ways of defining himself… “Got a problem, Moony?” Sirius snapped.

“No.” Remus didn’t look up. “Good for you. Any boy caught your eye?”

He could feel Sirius’s glare drilling holes into him. “What, would it disgust you if that were true?”

“No.”

“Then look the fuck up.”

“Pads,” James started, looking increasingly worried. Peter was picking at his cuticles, shuffling behind James as if the boy were a shield from whatever explosion was occurring between Remus and Sirius. “Pads, just calm—”

“You want me to calm down?!” Sirius directed his glare at James. “What, so you don’t care that Remus is being fucking unreasonable?”

“I do, and I’ll deal with him—”

Sirius cut James off, facing Remus with a scowl, “I accepted you for being a werewolf, didn’t I?”

That stung. Remus blinked and looked up, face blank. “Yeah.” He spoke fast, to avoid Sirius interrupting. “But I shouldn’t have to accept anyone for their sexuality, people should just be, it shouldn’t be something to announce and accept, because it’s always there, it’s a fact, and it is good for you, but it’s nothing unordinary. It’s just another human thing.” Remus took a breath.

Sirius’s scowl faded, but his face was still guarded. “Hate to break it to you, but we live in a heteronormative and homophobic society. I have to announce it, and you have to accept it.”

Remus swallowed. “But society wouldn’t be like that if you acted like it was normal. Because it is normal. Any sexual orientation is normal. So if everyone behaved like that, society would automatically go along with it.” He shrugged. Could he go back to his book now?

“And how do you plan to do that?” Sirius pressed, arms crossed.

Remus blinked. So it was his responsibility now? Fine. It was probably everyone’s. And he’d never needed to announce his sexuality. It was just a normal part of him. It made him feel more human, even with a wolf raging inside him. “Well…” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “I… have a crush on a boy. And I think that’s normal.” Remus admitted.

Sirius’s eyes widened, “You’re gay?! Who is it?!” Even James and Peter looked on in interest.

Remus winced. The first answer was, No, please don’t label me, and the second was YOU. “Uh… I don’t know, and… I don’t want to tell you.” Not exactly lies, right?

“Okay, firstly, that’s okay, we’ll help you figure out your identity,” Sirius started.

I know my identity already, Remus wanted to scream frustratedly. I’m Remus Lupin, and that’s all that matters. I’m who I am. But he just nodded half-heartedly.

“And secondly, I think I know who it is,” Sirius’s eyes glinted, and Remus braced himself for the worst. “It’s Caradoc Dearborn!”

“Merlin’s whacky beard, yes!” James agreed. “Do you like him, Moony?”

Remus smiled awkwardly, mouth twisted with confusion. “What? No, not him.”

“You’re lying!” Sirius protested, dramatically pointing at him.

James nodded, “He’s like, the only boy you ever talk to.” Remus also talked to Sirius, James and Peter. But okay. “And you’re always smiling with him, and talking about your hobbies together—”

“Picture of love!” Sirius interrupted, grin unnaturally stretched.

“I don’t like him,” Remus reinforced.

“Oh, I see,” Sirius carried on grinning maniacally. He held a fist beneath his lips, imitating the way Quidditch was commentated, “Remus Lupin’s holding the lie, zooming across the pitch, dodging and swerving like the athletic acrobat he is.” Remus shot this a withering look, while Sirius winked, “He gets to the goalposts, where he prepares himself to shoot. He brings the lie into one calloused, veiny hand—”

“Sirius, what the fuck,” Remus deadpanned.

Sirius waved him off, “And he throws it! It goes up and up and it soars through a goalpost! It’s a lie!! Remus Lupin shoots, he scores, and it’s a lie!! The crowd goes wild!!” James and Peter began cheering demonstratively.

“REMUS AND CARADOC!” James yelled.

“Caramus,” Peter nodded sagely.

“Redoc,” James countered.

“Moonlove,” Peter said, explaining, “Caradoc means love.”

“Aw, that’s adorable,” James cooed.

“What?” Sirius looked conflicted. “It does? Oh.” He turned to Remus. “Well, I’m sure he’ll give you all the love you deserve, Moonbeam.”

Remus threw his hands up, “I don’t want love from him!”

“Looks like Remus Lupin has scored again!!” Sirius responded. “What’s the verdict?”

“It’s another lie!!” James cried.

Remus sighed. If Sirius was so adamant about his crush on Caradoc, then he wouldn’t ever reciprocate Remus’s feelings. He wanted to ship Remus off with Caradoc, because apparently that was perfect, never him and Sirius. Sirius didn’t want him. He just gave him to Caradoc. “Okay,” Remus exhaled. “Yes, it’s Caradoc.” Now, that was a lie.

His friends grinned, and began planning ways for him to get with Caradoc. Remus went back to his book. But he still wasn’t focused on the pages, because he could only think of Sirius’s metaphor. But now Sirius was on the broom, holding Remus’s heart in his hands, swerving and dodging and abruptly veering, shaking it, sending his emotions haywire. Sirius had an inescapable grip on the weak, enamoured organ, squeezing the life out of it as it still thumped a mile a minute for him, like the hopeless, lost little thing it was.

Sirius would take him, shoot him through a goalpost, and score, and Remus was forever his. Sirius didn’t even need to shoot, Remus was already his, he had already scored a Remus, and that probably wasn’t his grandest victory, but now Remus was lost, and hopeless, and Sirius’s.

He sighed, tuning back into the conversation.

“And at their wedding,” James was saying.

“What?!” Remus interrupted. “Guys, no. I’m not even gonna date him!”

“What, why?” James asked, looking offended, as if it was him Remus had rudely rejected.

“I just…” Remus lamely waved a hand, “Like pining from afar. I like… admiring him. I don’t actually want to be his… boyfriend.” Remus did not want that label.

Sirius laughed, “C’mon, Moony, that’s never true.”

“No, it really is. And now I’m going to bed. Goodnight, boys.”

Remus heard Peter hurriedly yell, “Night, Moony!” before closing his curtains and throwing himself flat on his mattress.

Although he couldn’t sleep, so after waiting for the lights to go out, and the sounds of his friends’ snores, he opened his curtains and crept to the cramped stone balcony, with a pack of Muggle cigarettes in hand. He lit one and brought it to his lips, exhaling smoke over the grounds below, draped in darkness and moonlight.

He tensed, sensing movement in someone’s bed. Sirius’s. The opening of curtains, the tip-toeing of feet towards him… “Hi, Sirius.”

“Damn it. You’re like one of those Muggle superheroes in them comics.”

“Werewolf.”

“So I was close!”

Remus gave him a flat look as he squashed in beside him.

Sirius grinned. “What’s up?”

“You.” Remus rolled his eyes while Sirius blinked in confusion. “You’re up in the sky,” he pointed. “Sirius.” And there it was, burning an intense white as it beaconed slowly.

“Oh.” Sirius looked up. “I meant, what’s on your mind?”

Also you, Remus thought, glancing at the side of Sirius’s face as he took another drag. The way his grey eyes reflected the glow of the stars, and seemed to emit their own brilliant light, the heat melting them into a shining silver. He wordlessly offered the stick to Sirius, who held the illicit item elegantly between two slender fingers, and took his own drag. Remus stopped looking, turned and blew the smoke trapped in his throat into rings.

“Superhero,” Sirius exhaled softly.

Remus gave him another flat look, met with the same brazen grin. He looked away. But even then, he kept glancing back fleetingly because it was Sirius, whose warm body was pressed into his own, and they were smoking into the night, and it was Remus and Sirius, one of the only things Remus truly wanted.

But then another person was added, one Remus did not want, when Sirius asked, “Is it Caradoc?”

“What’s Caradoc?”

“On your mind.”

“No. Drop it.”

“You said you wanted society to know that all sexualities are normal. So why wouldn’t you show them by asking your crush out?” Sirius nudged into him even closer. Too close. Remus was going to fall. He was falling. And Sirius didn’t even realise. Didn’t even care.

“It’s also normal to have a crush on someone and not want to date them. So I’m showing you that.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Well…” Remus looked at Sirius. “I look at him, and I think that I’m just lucky to be near him. That’s all I really want. I just want to spend time with him. I don’t want all those finicky labels. I want to be.”

“But don’t you want to do all that couple stuff and be exclusive?”

Remus shrugged. “I’ll do whatever we both want. So if we want to do couple stuff, why can’t we do it anyway? And if we want to be exclusive, then we’ll only do that stuff with each other. It’s not a big deal.”

Sirius nodded, brows still furrowed. This was hard to explain. But no one would want to do those things with Remus anyway, so why was he trying? And the only person he wanted to do those things with was next to him, insisting that he had to have a crush on someone else. Finally, Sirius said, “You sound like you really love him.”

Remus swallowed, because yes, he did really love Sirius, not Caradoc, not anyone else. But for some fucking reason (Sirius), they were talking about Caradoc. And for some reason, he was just continuing the lie. He was going to need to make notes, otherwise he’d lose track of everything he supposedly felt for Caradoc. He shrugged in response to Sirius’s statement.

Sirius gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “Are you confused about loving him because you still don’t know your identity?”

Remus tensed beneath Sirius’s hand, which was immediately withdrawn. “No.”

“It’s okay if you are.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m only trying to help!”

“Well, stop it.”

“I don’t get it. Do you have a problem with people knowing you’re not straight?”

Remus shot him a withering look. “No.” Because he didn’t like that label either. “I’m not anything, just drop it.”

“You are something, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I know. Except I’m not.”

“Bisexual.”

“Sirius, fuck off.”

“Look, it’s human, like you said. Normal to like any other human, or to not like any other human, regardless of their gender.”

“Normal to like another human as long as they’re not related to you,” Remus said pointedly.

Sirius laughed. “Tell that to the Blacks.”

“I told one of them.”

“I’m offended. I would never stoop that low.”

“How low would you stoop?”

“Mmm, not that low. Just enough to suck someone’s cock.” Sirius grinned. He pointedly added, “Someone who’s not my relative.”

Remus laughed.

But then Sirius asked, “Why don’t we look for more labels?”

“I said no.”

“We can find one that suits you.”

“None of them will suit me.”

“Don’t be a pessimist.”

“I’m not being anything.”

“Marlene knows a lot about sexualities,” Sirius was saying. Remus tuned him out. They were going in circles. He didn’t know how to explain himself. They’d reached stalemate, where neither of them had convinced the other, but they were adamant on their fixed positions. Fixed. Remus didn’t like that.

“Sirius, I don’t want a fucking label. Shut the fuck up.”

Sirius looked affronted. “Look, what’s your problem?”

“I fucking told you.”

“You were literally the one who said all this should be normalised! So what’s this hypocritical bullshit?”

“I’m not being a hypocrite. I told you, I like a boy.”

“That’s gay.”

“Maybe. But I’m not.”

“What the fuck are you on? Are you really that scared of the word ‘gay’? Because that’s what I am. Me. So do you not fucking like me now?”

“I like you, Padfoot. I like you for being a fucking spoilt brat and an arrogant dickhead and a cruel little tosser. For your fucking personality, arsehole. You being gay doesn’t matter to me. It’s not your personality. How does ‘I like boys’, equate to the things that make you Sirius? Anyone could like boys! Only you can be Sirius. And I do like Sirius.”

Sirius was staring at him. “You like those things about me?”

“Oh, ‘course you fixated on that. Well, I was trying to insult you, but I suppose, yes. I also like the good stuff about you.”

“Can’t be much of that.”

“Oh, do you want the list?”

Sirius smiled. “You have a list?”

“Sod off, I don’t have anything written down.” It was all ingrained into his brain instead.

Sirius hummed. “I think I know something.”

“Those are two things I never expected of you. Thinking and knowing. This must be a record.”

“Mate, shut up. I think… you are Remus.”

“Wow. Do you want applause?”

“No, as in, that’s all you identify as. You don’t need anything else. You’re perfect and clever, and your whole personality. And your sexuality doesn’t matter to you. Am I right, or…”

Remus’s chest felt lighter. “I… Pads, I’m not perfect, or clever, but yeah, the rest was true, I think. I just… I think society would be better if there were no labels at all. Then everything would be normal. You’d be able to like anyone. I don’t like the labels. They feel… uncomfortable. And unnecessary. Just let me like who I like, for fuck’s sake. Why do I have to turn my feelings into a label that has to be accepted?”

Sirius smiled. “Don’t then.” He paused, and whispered teasingly, “Would you like me to find a label for people who don’t want to be labelled?”

Remus laughed. “Actually, Padfoot, could you like… tell me why you like being labelled so much?”

Sirius grinned. “‘Cause I like making wild announcements. And I know it’s not my personality, but it’s still an aspect of me that I’d like to acknowledge. I want everything out in the open. And being gay helps me explain that. But now I know that it’s also normal to not need to explain that.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me. Remember, it’s not something anyone should have to accept.”

Remus beamed at him. Sirius returned it, jokingly murmuring, “That’s my Moonbeam.”

Remus stared at him, before realising, “I never asked why you’re up.”

“For you, obviously.”

Remus felt a surge of affection for him, so strong that he couldn’t contain it. “Sirius, I’m not lying. I really don’t have a crush on Caradoc.”

“But—”

“I was describing how I felt for a different boy. And I’m sorry for agreeing that I liked Caradoc, but you were all so insistent—”

“Who is it?”

“I…”

“Who else can it be if not Dearborn?”

“Sirius,” Remus started, realising that he had also just stated the answer.

Sirius didn’t seem to catch on. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“Oh. You have a crush?”

“We’ve established that. Who’s yours?”

“Sirius,” Remus said again, wondering when the boy would get it.

“Moony, just tell me.”

“I am telling you, Sirius.”

Sirius furrowed his brows. “When?”

“Just now.”

“I still don’t know who it is.”

“Sirius,” Remus was barely containing his laugh. Honestly, despite the fact that he would get rejected, this was the funniest way to reveal his crush, and he really didn’t care. Sirius was getting so annoyed.

“For fuck’s sake, who is it?!”

“Sirius.”

“What?!”

“I’m answering your question, dumbass.”

“Don’t call me dumbass, since when did you answer the question?”

“Been answering it for ages, Sirius.”

“Wait. Hold on. Wait.”

“Yes, it’s kind of hard not to wait when you’re trapping me on this balcony.”

“How are you still being snarky?! You just admitted to me that you like me! Every time I want to admit I like you, I get all nervous and shit! How are you so calm?!”

Remus blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I like you.”

“…Thanks? Does this mean we’re still friends?”

“Yes. But do you also want to do all that couple shit with me? And would you agree to be exclusive with me? And can me and you just be?”

“…It’s you and I.”

“Swot. You’re lucky I like you. And I think I’ve just made you lose your cool,” Sirius grinned excitedly.

“Yes,” Remus was still processing.

“I’ll make it clearer. Can I snog you? And from now on, can we only snog each other?”

“Yes.” And then Remus Lupin was snogging Sirius Black. And that was who they were.

[del-stars]

what’s some of your favourite black brothers hcs?

bless you for sending this and giving me the opportunity to yap

i wish i could remember who posted this hc but sirius got stuck in walburga's ribs in birth and regulus was born blue/not breathing

sirius constantly causing walburga pain during her pregnancy, burrowing as far inside of her as he could, only to be ripped from her into a reality that will constantly tear them apart vs regulus being doomed from the very beginning, dying so young because he shouldn't be alive in the first place MHM YUP

sirius was the favorite child. this led to regulus trying to copy sirius in absolutely everything he does when they were very little

sirius bore the brunt of physical punishment because of the expectations/attention constantly placed upon them. regulus, on the other hand, suffered from neglect

incredibly competitive household, everything they do is compared against each other. recipe for sibling failure

i could write an entire essay on how sirius internalises his failure to be a 'good heir' into thinking something is inherently wrong with him/how regulus' being born second gave him limitless rage at everything around him

even after sirius is sorted into gryffindor and, by his family's definition, becomes a major fuck-up, walburga wants and hopes that he will assume the demeanor and responsibilities of being heir. this is where regulus' resentment of sirius is born: regulus has always been good, has always kept his mouth shut and done what he should, and yet he's still not fit to be heir, even when sirius so obviously doesn't want it. walburga wants her eldest son to be 'perfect' again so badly that she can't see that regulus fits all of her requirements

and after regulus is sorted into slytherin, sirius begins to resent him. now that he can see that he isn't just a black sheep - the rest of the world is nothing at all like his family - he wants regulus to follow in his footsteps, and he won't. he sees regulus as weak for continuing to bend to their family's ways and strive to impress them

so, by age twelve or thirteen, they hate each other. that's the tragedy. they don't come back from this. regulus thinks sirius is ungrateful and out of control, and sirius thinks regulus is a coward and a bigot

regulus spiralssssss because of how much he hates sirius. it is pure, unbridled jealousy. he isolates himself, lets himself be driven by negativity, and tries desperately to mask his inherent sense of inferiority by positioning himself as superior due to his blood status. this makes him the perfect candidate for targeted radicalisation by the de's/bellatrix

sirius does not regret leaving and does not wish he could've taken regulus with him. regulus was fucking over the moon that sirius ran away, and was also part of the reason sirius needed to leave. i will die on this hill

i will always think their characterisations are more interesting/compelling when you make them hate each other. they are fundamentally so different that you can't just swap traits/storylines between them. regulus is SUCH an interesting villain and i wish people explored him in this light more rather than just giving him sirius' story

they are a product of their circumstance. in any other universe they probably could've bonded over their shared trauma (which is why i love my black brother modern aus), but in the one they're in they are destined to be torn apart.

and now, the mini moodboard:

[winnienora14]

Remus Lupin headcanons:

-He’s always dressed up but he never EVER irons anything (he just doesn’t see the point).

-He has the worst posture of all time. When he’s sitting, he’s always holding his head with his hand.

-He’s left handed. His handwriting his genuinely painful to read. It’s horrible, truly. Plus, he writes fast. The only one who can decipher what he writes his James. So, every time Remus would leave a note in Sirius’s locker, Sirius would secretly make James translate it for him.

-Even though his calligraphy is terrible, his writing is incredible. He has a knowledge and a way to play with the lexicon that is truly remarkable at his age. Probably because he reads a lot(Sorry, I don’t believe in dyslexic Remus but I do believe in dyslexic Frank Longbottom).

-He feels detached and like an outcast from people his age. Everyone really. And not just because he’s a werewolf but because of the way he thinks and experiences the world.

-He hates everything that isn’t tangible . Astrology, Philosophy, science, religion, divination, you name it, he hates it (Not the people who believe in these things though. Don’t get him wrong).

-He’s interested in other cultures and languages but he doesn’t go out of his way to learn about them. He’s already got enough stuff to worry about as it is.

-He’s always wanted to make the world at least just a little bit of a better place. That’s why he became a teacher. He wanted to give to others what Poppy gave to him.

-He’s a raging pessimist

-In contrary to popular belief, he’s not shy at all. He’s just introverted and talks only when he deems pertinent. Most people annoy him. He hates small talk.

-He has anger issues but he doesn’t have anger outbursts. He never got into a fight and he never plans on getting into one. He thinks they’re really stupid.

-He LOVES sarcasm. It’s his first language.

-He’s a creature of habits.

-He hates sports and if he had been in high school he’d have hated PE.

-He doesn’t want pets but he doesn’t dislike them either.

-His sleep schedule is nonexistent. He’ll go to sleep at 7pm one day, at 3am an other and one day he just won’t go to sleep at all.

-He lives in disorganized order. For exemple, he absolutely forbids for any clothes to be on the floor but he doesn’t mind his clothes being unfolded, wrinkled and in a big pile in his drawer.

-The hardest thing for him to say is that he can’t do something on his own, that he needs help. In contrary to Sirius, it’s not because he’s prideful but because he’s doesn’t want to bother.

-About that, he is TERRIFIED of bothering anyone. He really doesn’t want to be a nuisance. People taking care of him is actually really hard for him.

*There will be another part…I think… we’ll see.

[saintsenara]

a duo i'd love to hear your thoughts on: bellatrix & harry (or even bellatrix/harry)

thank you very much for the ask, pal! an extremely interesting duo to think about.

and, obviously, the thing we have to immediately acknowledge is that harry thinks bellatrix is hot. he's always going on about her heaving breasts and shiny hair [and shiny hair is something he does seem to have a thing for throughout canon - hence why he spends one of his owl exams staring at parvati's], and she's definitely his "hear me out" candidate...

[i think if he's forced by ron to play fuck, marry, kill about the black sisters... he's fucking bella. he's depressed for weeks when he realises.]

more seriously, though, the thing which really stands out in harry and bellatrix's canonical relationship is that he sees her primarily as a catalyst - and, above all, primarily as a catalyst for loss - but in a way which feels strangely impersonal given the profundity of this loss to him.

she kills sirius - but harry can't summon up the rage to use the cruciatus curse against her [even though he can against amycus carrow, whom he has never met and whose crime is the considerably more minor spitting at mcgonagall]. she almost kills ginny - and harry "changes course at once" to try and protect her - but the person who gets there first and who finishes bellatrix off is molly.

and while i don't think this is strange because i think molly wouldn't have the skills to duel bellatrix, i do think it's fairly strange narratively. bellatrix's death mirrors sirius' to such an extent - right down to the fact that she dies laughing - that it would have been an interesting conceit to have harry avenging his godfather by standing in as sirius' surrogate for a repeat of the duel before the veil, which then allows sirius to be avenged when the outcome is reversed...

[although what i do like about the molly-bellatrix duel in canon is that voldemort ends up in the position his narrative mirror, harry, is in during the sirius-bellatrix duel - watching the one person he thought would never abandon him die.]

and so harry sees bellatrix as an agent of chaos - and he utterly loathes her - but he also sees the chaos she causes as, fundamentally, voldemort's fault. he views her as a puppet, a tool, a pawn - as so totally enamoured by the dark lord that she lacks any capacity for critical thinking - rather than ever seeming to understand her as her own person.

[him taunting her in order of the phoenix by pointing out voldemort's a half-blood always stands out to me when thinking about this - lucius malfoy isn't shocked at all by the revelation, but bellatrix is. it underlines the point made by her behaviour at her trial, which harry witnesses in goblet of fire - that her loyalty to voldemort is so absolute that it makes her deluded, and that she exists for him rather than for herself.]

equally, bellatrix clearly sees him as just a thing - an annoyance which voldemort just needs to eradicate - rather than a person.

and so i think that one of the very interesting "harry and bellatrix actually having to get to know each other" questions is what journey they would go on in order to understand the other as a real person. my favourite iteration of this - as i've said here - is to write bellatrix's non-battlefield personality as surprisingly similar to tonks', and to have harry having to face the fact that a woman he hates could be so much like a woman he adores. you can also obviously do the same with him having to realise she's very like sirius.

and her having to realise that harry is very like voldemort.

because the other thing which i think is fascinating about thinking about harry and bellatrix is that the best parallel for hinny in the text isn't ron and hermione, and nor is it james and lily...

it's bellamort.

i believe that harry's canonical love for ginny is completely genuine - and i accept that by the epilogue they will have settled into a relationship with a more equal dynamic - but it's very striking in the pre-epilogue canon that the power dynamic between the two is very much unequal.

harry's narrative purpose means that he has to be set apart from all others - even ron and hermione - in order for him to properly function as the encapsulation of all that is good [and as the series' allegory for christ]. as a result, he tends to interact with other characters either as people he needs to protect, or as people he needs to protect others from.

and we see this in his relationship with ginny at the end of half-blood prince, when he breaks up with her for - what he sees as - her own protection, in the belief that being associated with him will put her at risk from voldemort.

harry believes that separating himself from her is sufficient to bring ginny this protection, he never considers her to have the talent to fight voldemort herself - even though he acknowledges her as a skilled fighter elsewhere in the text - and he spends much of deathly hallows believing that he has guaranteed ginny's safety. he thinks of hogwarts as a safe-haven throughout his time on the horcrux hunt - and he is genuinely shocked to discover how bad the carrows' regime has been when he arrives at the castle immediately prior to the battle - and he treats ginny's role as a resistance leader in her own right [such as her attempt to steal the sword of gryffindor] as, essentially, a bit of a laugh.

for her part, ginny is set up in the text as ferociously loyal to harry - "i never gave up on you" - and as someone whose company he desires and values in a distinct way, but whose relationship with him is unbalanced by the paternalistic vibe of their power dynamic. harry is more honest with her than with many other people, for example, but he still doesn't tell her anything about the horcruxes, the prophecy, or the fact that he has to walk into the forest to die.

and this is exactly the same as bellatrix and voldemort.

bellatrix is clearly justified in saying that voldemort considers her his "favourite" - and he does behave towards her in ways which are meaningfully different from his treatment of his other death eaters. but their dynamic is still hugely unbalanced by the fact that voldemort is also required by the narrative to be singular - the literal embodiment of evil - and that this drives his secrecy about his true self. bellatrix is also treated by voldemort as someone whose role in his mission against harry is his to dictate, safe in the knowledge that she would never give up on him either, and who can be similarly kept in the dark about the horcruxes or the prophecy [although he clearly views this as for his, rather than her, protection].

deathly hallows, in particular, is full of explicit comparisons between the two couples. ginny trying to steal the sword leads to bellatrix giving away that there's a horcrux in her vault. ginny living while bellatrix dies [because of motherly love!] is the opener to harry living while voldemort dies [because of motherly love!]. and - of course - there's this in the forest...

Everything was waiting. Hagrid was struggling, and Bellatrix was panting, and Harry thought inexplicably of Ginny, and her blazing look, and the feel of her lips on his. 

as i've said elsewhere, i think it's entirely possible to write voldemort as quite fond of ginny on the basis of her canonical similarity to bellatrix. and so the reverse must apply - harry can be written as fond of bellatrix on the basis of her similarity to ginny.

which means i also think - if you're so inclined - that the toxic wife-swap would genuinely work.

[bradleysass]

Road Trip - word count: 650 - Jegulas w/ Rosekiller & Sirius

The air smelled of smoke, the kind that clung to clothes and hair, mingling with the faint scent of petrol and regret. The five boys stood in front of a dilapidated petrol station, their faces illuminated by the orange glow of the flames licking the night sky behind them.

“Well,” Sirius said, casually flicking a cigarette away and leaning against the beat-up van they’d somehow managed to keep running, “I think that went pretty well.”

“‘Pretty well’?” Regulus hissed, shoving his older brother in the shoulder. “You set the bathroom on fire, Sirius!”

“That was an accident!” Sirius protested, though his grin displayed zero remorse.

“Was it, though?” Barty drawled from where he lounged against the van’s hood, his boots kicked up like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I distinctly remember you saying, ‘Wouldn’t it be hilarious if this place went up in flames?’”

“Okay, technically I said that before the explosion,” Sirius corrected.

Evan snorted, tossing his leather jacket into the van before joining Barty on the hood. “I’m just saying, the fireworks might have been a bit overkill.”

“Fireworks?!” Regulus turned his glare toward Evan now. “You brought fireworks?”

“Mate,” Evan said, his voice slow and smooth like molasses, “if you’re going to blow something up, you might as well make it look good.”

Regulus let out an exasperated groan, dragging his hands through his hair. “We can’t keep doing this. Every single place we stop ends up—” He gestured wildly at the raging inferno behind them. “Like this!”

James, who had been suspiciously quiet until now, stepped between the brothers, clapping a hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “Relax, love. It’s not like anyone saw us.”

“James,” Regulus deadpanned, “this is the third time this week. At this rate, we’ll have every magical law enforcement officer in the country on our tail.”

“Fourth, actually,” Barty corrected, holding up a finger. “You’re forgetting the inn with the haunted barstools.”

Sirius snorted, nearly doubling over with laughter. “Oh, Merlin, the barstools!”

“Focus!” Regulus snapped, glaring at all of them. “Do any of you have even an ounce of self-preservation?”

James tilted his head, pretending to think about it. “Does loving you count?”

Regulus flushed, his mouth opening and closing like a fish before he finally managed to snap, “That’s not the point!”

Evan slid off the hood, sauntering over to the passenger side of the van. “Look, Reggie, we’re alive, aren’t we? No one’s caught us yet, and we’re making great time.”

“To where?” Regulus demanded, throwing his hands up. “What’s the actual plan here?”

Barty grinned, spinning the car keys on his finger. “To see the world, obviously. And leave it in flames wherever we go.”

“That’s not a plan, that’s a crime spree!”

“And yet,” Sirius interjected, slinging an arm around his brother’s shoulders, “you’re still here. Which means you’re having fun, even if you won’t admit it.”

Regulus glared at Sirius, then at James, who was grinning at him like an idiot. “I hate all of you,” he muttered.

James leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Regulus’s temple. “Love you too, darling.”

“Don’t push your luck,” Regulus grumbled, though he didn’t pull away.

The group piled back into the van, the flames roaring higher behind them as James gunned the engine. As they sped down the empty road, the firelight faded into the distance, leaving only the faint scent of smoke and the promise of more chaos to come.

“I’m serious, though,” Regulus muttered from the passenger seat, glaring at James, who had stolen his spot on the driver’s side. “Next time, no fires.”

James grinned, one hand on the wheel and the other resting casually on Regulus’s knee. “Whatever you say, Reg.”

But as Sirius and Barty exchanged knowing smirks in the backseat, it was clear to everyone that the next destination was bound to go up in flames—just like all the rest.

[prongsandpetals]

no one asked for this but i’m saying it anyway because i am tired of this grandpa.

i dont hate jegulus or their shippers. personally, it doesnt make sense to me and my moral compass trickles into fiction meaning i dont have much interest in any of the slytherins. it could also be the fact that when people would create oc’s for james in their fics 10 yrs ago and made lily a raging bitch id be fighting them all in the comments- a fight or flight response that now has spread to jegulus- but thats neither here nor there. it brings people joy and they are fictional characters, and it doesnt physically hurt anyone!

but there is something to be said about some of the less savoury implications it has had on the fandom. it feels as though jily is in its own subfandom sort of pushed to the side, leaving two mlm ships to dominate. unfortunately a lottt of female characters have been forgotten or pushed aside because of this. a lot of people who joined the fandom not that long ago either dont know or forget that this fandom was not built on either wolfstar (who i love), or jegulus. yes, they popularised them, but this fandom has revolved around jily for over 10 years. not to mention many of these fics were written from lilys pov, meaning there was so much more depth put into the girls characters. to erase this is to erase the fandoms history.

the diversifying of characters is something amazing that has come more recently with the popularisation of the fandom and thats one of the good parts!! however if someone still views aaron taylor johnson as their james, that doesn’t make them a racist - the man has been james since at least 2006.

another (smaller) thing ive seen is someone will post a song or a photo and attribute it to a jily moment with harry that we can realistically see happening canonically and a comment will say something along the lines of: “this but its how james felt when regulus (insert something that did not happen here)” idk if its the autism but god those always get me a little bit, especially when it includes harry.

similarly, it feels as though people who ship jily are assumed to be less progressive. as a lesbian jily shipper i can’t disagree more. just because a ship is a straight ship does not make it a bad ship - i think we can all agree there are so many amazing LGBTQ+ ships out there now for everyone to enjoy. it does feel quite strange to me to place the two characters who created the child that there are seven books about into different ships, but people like them so its chill!! but when its just complete eradication or discontent with the canon ship… ;(

i also think that to have jegulus be endgame (except aus), a lot of james’s insanely important character traits literally HAVE to be erased. his hatred for death eaters and fight for justice, his unending loyalty to his friends - especially sirius- his black and white view on right and wrong, all of these traits become warped and stretched when it comes to jegulus. of course there isnt much canon to go off of so when people disregard it entirely i can understand it to a degree. but when you erase the important canon points we have on their characters, we are basically just creating oc’s with real characters names.

another thing that i find irksome is the fetishisation of these mlm ships- if youre gonna ship two men together do it right!! why are you calling regulus a cute little baby victim and james a big strong protector!! let them be complex and messy or dont do it at all! not to mention the erasure of a lot of wlw ships... lowkey gives girl who has gay boy best friend that thinks lesbians are weird… anyways off topic! ive heard people say its not fetishisation, its because the female characters arent written with depth- that’s why people read jegulus and wolfstar! okay? go give the girls some depth? regulus is a character we basically know nothing about canonically and youve turned him into a fully fleshed character who is now a lot of peoples favourite - it can be done with the girls too. there is such emphasis placed on wolfstar and jegulus for their deep, tragic love stories - and the marauders friendship in general. the gryffindor girls are right there. dorlene is right there. marylene is right there.

and if it truly werent fetishisation, i would argue that it can be a romanticisation of toxic relationships. a lot of people dislike jily because there is no “angst”. the angst is fighting in a war at 21 years old. the angst is lily and james’s differing blood statuses and the implications this has on their lives. the angst is having a prophecy hanging over their unborn child’s head that forces them into hiding. the angst is being betrayed by their best friend, leading them to sacrifice themselves for their family and the wizarding world. the angst is literally right there, but because their relationship is healthy and happy- one of the only things in their lives that is not full of pain- they are deemed boring.

again, i dont hate jegulus. i especially dont dislike anyone who likes the ship and gets something out of it. but there is so much change this fandom has gone through since their introduction and popularisation that has made interacting with the fandom as a whole almost unbearable sometimes, and thats what i do hate.

all in all, multishippers definitely have the most fun.

[acewitch-writes]

As a self-appointed canon Remus defender, I agree that Remus can be angry. It would be insane to suggest that a human being is incapable of expressing the perfectly natural human emotion of anger.

But the issue arises from turning that anger into a defining character trait, or when his anger isn't balanced and nuanced. If belittling/insulting his friends or exploding with rage is Remus' first instinct in any difficult situation in a fic, then he is OOC. Which may be suitable depending on the AU! I have written him with an angry streak myself, I'm not opposed to the idea of letting Remus be angry. But we should at least be able to acknowledge that this is OOC for Remus, who rarely expressed outward anger even in some very stressful situations.

My main qualm with atyd in particular is the fact that it touts itself as "canon compliant", eeeeexcept for the tiny fact that the main character's entire backstory was dramatically changed, which in turn affected his entire characterization. The fic even made a point to skip over every established canon scene because it would have made it very clear that atyd Remus and Canon Remus have little in common (except one scene briefly in the Shack where Remus uses special werewolf powers to read Sirius' mind to work out the whole secret keeper switch, using the very same technique that Sirius' mother often used to abuse him, this being their FIRST INTERACTION after 12 years apart, but I digress)

Atyd Remus is an OC with the same name who, yes, has some anger issues, and is nuanced and incredibly well-written, but he is NOT Remus and at no point throughout the story becomes Remus. The part that really sealed the deal for me was when Dumbledore arrived to invite Remus to teach at Hogwarts, and Remus was openly hostile and rude to this man that, canonically, is Remus' personal hero and infallible moral compass. ("Well, he's not my fucking brother.")

I also strongly disliked the way Sirius was scapegoated heavily at the end, made to apologize to Remus and grovel for his affection after spending 12 years in Azkaban while Remus was living a rather cozy life in comparison with his muggle lover in the flat that Sirius paid for. I remember waiting for Remus to apologize too, AND HE FUCKING NEVER DID

Disclaimer: I enjoyed atyd as a standalone AU with canon elements. It was beautifully written and the author clearly put so much time, effort, and love into writing it. I honestly really liked Remus in it, I just can never see him as superior to my beloved Canon Remus and I hate this fandom for bullying those of us who chose not to canonize a popular fanfic.

[kazucee]

MY NAME LIKE VELVET ON YOUR TONGUE !

pairings: [MARAUDERS] Remus Lupin x Sirius Black!

note: Merry Christmas wolfstar truthers, this is my gift to you! i missed writing about wolfstar so much and I had to make it everyone else's problem. A collection of fluffy moments where Remus is just down bad and Sirius is 'oblivious'. This was not proofread at all so I apologize if you find any mistakes! wc: 4.2k (never underestimate how much I can yap about them)

synopsis: Remus never liked his name, he always thought it sounded odd and bland. That all changed when he met Sirius Orion Black, a chaotic, mischief making boy with a smile that made him question every foundation of his character. Remus never liked his name, the only exception being when Sirius says it.

"Sirius Orion Black" the young lad introduced himself with a certain charisma, a certain aura that seemed to punctuate and bleed out of each posh syllable that slipped out of his mouth. This was the first time Remus had ever seen such pretty and well-kept hair, it made him uncomfortable and suddenly he found himself tongue-tied, deciding to remain mute as his newly acquired friends—James and Peter followed up with their own self-introductions. The lad looked at him with a raised brow seeing as he was the only one who hadn't spoken.

"And you?" It wasn't a question, more like a polite demand, an unconscious slip-up that originated from blood heritage, old money, unwanted piano lessons, perfect images and broken family lines. Remus could almost see the way this boy—Sirius, physically recoiled from the tone he had used.

"What's your name?" It came out a bit softer this time, tentative, as if tasting the way those words molded with that tone. Remus had to fight back the urge to deck him across the face.

"Remus. John. Lupin." his voice came out scratchy and rough and he hated how it sounded compared to his.

"Sirius Orion Black" James Potter yells, brows furrowed in mild contempt from across the hallway with his multicoloured locks that had just shifted to orange. The charismatic boy simply lets out a chuckle as he hides behind the conveniently placed taller man in front of him, something he seemed to do a lot whenever Remus was around. "Remus, don't you think he'd make a wonderful redhead?" Sirius snickers as he sees James heading towards the two of them, his almond eyes furious.

"Debatable." The taller boy hums, his attention split between the way Sirius was lightly clutching on his robes and the herbology readings he was trying to focus on.

"Remus John Lupin" he shifted his gaze from the book to meet those blueish-grey eyes, like the calm before a raging storm, the waves just before they take you under. Sirius had a habit of saying his full name to get Remus' attention, the other boy hadn't the faintest clue why but he won't deny that he didn't look forward to hearing the other say his name in that faint posh accent of his he tries desperately to hide.

"Moony, you truly couldn't spare me a second of your time?" A pout, a scrunch of a well-defined brow and Remus felt his heart sigh pathetically as he watched his hand betray him by tucking the Herbology text away to give the other the attention he so desperately needed (he had always had it.)

"Sirius Orion Black with the magnificent save" Usually Remus didn't care for Quidditch, he didn't care at all, he actually would rather be inside the Gryffindor common room with his books and the warm fire, not out here where the bite of winter left his throat oddly parched and nose in the perpetual state of runny. But then there he was, the star player of team Gryffindor. People would argue that that position is tailored for James Potter but Remus thinks otherwise.

There are people who shine brightly on the playing field and Remus would admit that James qualified perfectly for that—akin to the sun.

Stars however don't shine, they twinkle, pretty if you observe them enough but usually overlooked in favour of the moon.

His movements like quicksilver, Sirius easily beats the ball in the other direction without so much as a small taunting grin that makes Remus stare and stare and— it throws the entire offence side of Team Slytherin off balance momentarily allowing James to score another goal. The crowd cheers as Gryffindor finally secures a win, over the chorus of all the drums and trumpets and obnoxious screaming Remus caught Sirius patting James on the back. He was smiling again.

He didn't look away when their eyes met. Sirius flew down towards the bleachers fluidly maneuvering the broom as if he was made to be on it. His hair was a mess, thrown haphazardly into a half-moon hairstyle and Remus found himself resisting the urge to run his fingers through it. Sirius always had that specific effect on people, it wasn't just Remus. Can the boy be blamed if those ebony locks truly looked as if they were spun by the night sky?

"better than reading your boring books ain't it moony?" His voice snapped Remus out of his daze, it took all his willpower to hold his hand back, clenching his fingers into a fist as he shoved it into the pockets of his robes suddenly feeling cold despite having knitted gloves on.

“You missed that one bludger" Remus replied with a bored expression but anyone could see the way those eyes the shade of aged leather sparkled with admiration for the man in front of him.

"There's no pleasing you" Sirius groans dramatically, rolling his eyes but Remus didn't miss the small quirk of his lips into that nearly there smile.

"There's a lot of ways to please me" He finds himself saying with a shrug as he stood from his place on the bleachers,

Sirius was still on the broom in a position that no sane person would try to do. He could see the way Sirius paused in his movement on the broom, eyes meeting his again, the winter air felt a bit more warm.

"Noted." Sirius snorts as he floats a bit closer and for a moment Remus lets himself imagine.

The ebony-haired boy suddenly grins, flicks the skin between his eyes and shoots up with his broom, joining James and the Gryffindor team for a photograph. Fixing his hair as he smiles that Godforsaken Sirius Black smile.

Remus blinks. Sighs. Picks up his books and calms his beating heart.

“Moony”

“Moony”

“Mooonnn-”

“Oh for Merlin's sake, Sirius Black” Remus found himself groaning aloud as the man finally ceased his unwanted whines.

It was snowing harder to the point where even the all-mighty cannot be touched Sirius Black decided his talents were best spent indoors…annoying the wits out of Remus. At first, he let it slide as it was simply harmless spells being cast, a couple of pens levitated overhead, the occasional snicker that Remus would always find himself straining his ears to listen in to, the faint humming of a random tune that often had Remus rereading the same paragraph again and again.

That was until Sirius decided that Remus was far more interesting than measly levitation spells or stacking cards and unfortunately took the liberty of sitting dangerously close by and calling his nickname to get his attention.

“Sorry,” The ebony-haired boy says, tone apologetic but his grin is anything but. Remus gave a bemused glance, sparing himself from another round of whining he cleverly put his charms textbook aside.

“Fine, you win. You have my attention, what do you want.” He said rather bluntly trying to ignore the way the other looked at him like he was some sort of constellation Sirius was trying to figure out the name of (quite ridiculous considering that he knows for a fact that Sirius is updated with all the different constellations in the sky, charting stars despite claiming that astronomy was for losers.)

“Well technically I really did only want your attention” There it was, that Cheshire grin full of mischief and an underlying emotion that Remus could not for the life of him determine. His stare stayed the same, bemused, but for a brief second they wandered down somewhere other than Sirius’ twinkling grey eyes, he mentally steeled himself.

“I am picking up my charms textbook again” The brush of a hand, it wasn't his own. Sirius had reached over, taking Remus’ scarred hand in his own to prevent him from picking up the textbook.

A collective intake of breaths.

A collective shockwave of electricity humming through their bones at the contact of skin on skin. Hand in hand.

Remus then realized not only was Sirius (too) close to him but that his eyes were such a pretty mirage of blue and grey under the soft winter lighting like starlight polishing platinum. His long lashes framing those starlit eyes, a girl's envy, heck even Remus found himself envious.

Oh God. Say something. Remus found himself thinking.

“Why are your hands so cold-”

“Ditching me for a charms book-”

It seems their trains of thought ran the same track only to collide painfully. The silence was thick and uncomfortable and Remus wanted any distraction at this point, anything to keep him from staring into Sirius' eyes because the feeling he got from doing so was going to gnaw at him from the inside out.

“My hands are that cold?” Sirius with the lightning recovery breaks the silence first and Remus finally shifts his gaze towards the pale digits that were wrapped around his own hand. He did have such nice hands. Defined bones with well-trimmed nails accompanied with chipped black nail polish and sloppily drawn star designs, it almost made Remus laugh.

“Like a block of ice.” He quipped after spending an embarrassingly long amount of time staring at the others hand.

“Rude.” Without looking he could already tell that those starlit eyes were narrowed, the mere thought making his lip twitch. “I think it has something to do with poor blood circulation” Remus says, his voice trying its best to sound aloof and uncaring.

He still hasn't let go.

He still hasn't let go.

“And your hand is warm,” Sirius remarked softly, fingers shifting slightly to caress one of the scars littered on tanned skin. Remus swallowed thickly at the sensation.

“I have good blood circulation” His voice was less aloof, less uncaring, he hated how it sounded compared to Sirius'. His heart pounded like a drum, he wondered if Sirius could hear the symphony he caused just from a simple touch, a simple caress.

“Are you seriously saying that your blood circulation is better than mine?”

Leave it to Sirius for ruining… well a serious moment.

“Are you serious?” Remus found himself saying out loud, his voice bewildered at the audacity of this man and his ability to make the most insignificant thing such as blood circulation a competition.

“Why yes, I am Sirius.”

Impossible. The only word first that could describe the grinning idiot in front of him.

“Sirius Orion Black!” a panicked whisper rang out making the paintings huff in mild annoyance. Remus frankly didn't care, not when his best friend was minutes away from getting caught by a prefect or even worse. Argus Filch.

The darkness of the castle's hallway was their only cover—well and the invisibility cloak James had lent them. But what use did the invisibility cloak serve if one keeps making it a point to waltz around like they own the place?

“You are going to get us caught-”

“Can you stop worrying for once moony?” Sirius quickly shot back as he turned the hall with practised ease like he had all the turns memorized. A highly likely situation given that he and James have been planning this prank for months. Multiple nights of Sirius sneaking into James' bed, the whispers before one of them finally casts an Imperturbable Charm.

Remus somehow always ended up roped into these things; he was quite certain it was because of James' annoying pestering and not a certain someone giving him those stupid puppy dog eyes.

“I'll stop worrying when we actually reach our destination without any problem. Something that won’t happen if you keep prancing around like a drunk on Christmas Eve.” Remus hissed out annoyed out of his mind, emphasizing the ‘prancing around’ part, the painting in the hall gave a few grunts of displeasure at the ruckus the two were causing.

“How many times must I repeat myself—we will be fine. Either way, if I get caught you won't be affected seeing as you're invisible” Sirius prattled on, abruptly facing Remus or at least where he thought Remus was situated.

Remus didn't have the heart to tell Sirius that he was actually not beside him but behind him. Well no—it was more like he found it amusing. Watching Sirius talk to thin air like he had gone mad. He took a moment to marvel at how terrible the other was when it came to pinpointing the source of his voice.

“and plus it's hot in the cloak” Sirius added with a huff and he sees him turn his face from ‘Remus’. That was a point Remus couldn't refute, after all, they weren't exactly children anymore. During their 1st and 2nd years all four of them could easily fit in the cloak, right now even with two people it felt cramped and Remus didn't want to imagine what it felt like being pressed close against Sirius shuffling around in the dark.

His cheeks felt warm and he immediately thought of something else. The silence continued. Sirius wandered the halls whilst Remus trailed behind him like a shadow.

If there was something Remus was sure about it was that Sirius couldn't bear the silence, always using that loud mouth of his to fill it with nonsensical rambles. Apparently sneaking around wasn't an exception to that endearing annoying trait of his.

“It would be hilarious to run into Minnie” Remus could almost hear Professor McGonagalls eye roll at the telltale nickname Sirius and James so graciously bestowed on her. “I also can't wait to see the look on snivellus’ face when-”

Remus heard it first and acted so quickly that he didn't have time to register it himself. The sound of footsteps, the tug of an arm, the small ‘oof’ sound Sirius let out when Remus pressed him against the wall effectively concealing them both under the invisibility cloak.

First, it was dark and only their breathing could be heard. Remus tried his best to look away from Sirius because only Godric Gryffindor himself knew how much self-control he had and how much he was willing to throw away just to—

Footsteps. Then the warm glow of a lantern. Filch appeared from the corner with Ms. Norris behind him, the beady-eyed cat let out a yowl almost as if it could sense the presence of two boys hiding in plain sight. Remus felt Sirius shift uncomfortably as if trying to put more space between them and failing to do so. The motion caused Remus to break that internal rule he placed in his mind(the‘don't-look-at-Sirius-when-he-is-dangerously-close-to-you-rule’)

‘Filch’ Sirius mouthed once the two made eye contact.

Remus had always been good at reading lips, and Sirius had always been good at enunciating his syllables. Something that Remus was made painfully aware of at this moment.

Their only source of light was the warm glow of the small lantern Filch carried in his hand; as he moved, the light would shift as well, perfectly highlighting all the sharp contours of Sirius’ face. Sirius and his stupidly good-looking face, with his stupid lips-

‘Remus’ Sirius looked alarmed

He tenses when he hears Mrs.Norris let out yet another meow, this time closer.

“What is it girl?” he hears Filch approach and his heart practically performs a whole gymnastics routine right then and there.

‘MOVE.’ Sirius’ eyes seem to say, wide with alarm as he grabs the wrist of Remus’ left hand, he could see the way those eyes frantically looked behind him in panic. Honestly, when it came to fight or flight situations Remus would choose neither as he believed in his capabilities of not getting into such predicaments. But he could hear Filch and Mrs. Norris getting closer by the minute. He grabs his wand quickly

Quietus.

He uttered the spell in his mind, he didn't think it'd work—he never tried mentally casting a spell but at this point he was desperate. There was a small tingle that ran through the entirety of his body before reaching the tip of his wand, the spell had been casted. His other arm circled easily around Sirius’ waist and Remus was rewarded with a small surprised squawk and with little to no effort he hoisted the other boy up, one arm hooked under his knees with the other supporting his back. He heard the cat hiss in contempt as he ran away, Sirius despite being stunned still managed to pin the invisibility cloak to them as Remus ran, he didn't stop till he was sure they were far away from Filch and Mrs. Norris.

“Remus. John. Lupin.” Sirius’ voice danced and coated every single syllable of his name with that honeyed posh accent of his but Remus could tell by the way it shook in the end that he was nervous (or ecstatic? You can never tell in Sirius' case)

He realized he was still carrying him. He didn't want to let go. His fingers twitch slightly under the weight of Sirius, he weighed nothing, or was Remus convincing himself of that because he wanted to hold the other close for just a moment longer.

He made a plan in his mind. It was simple really as it only required two steps.

If Sirius told him to set him down he would.

If Sirius doesn't then he won't.

He lets the silence ruminate for a bit, his earlier run turning into a slow easy pace.

Sirius is in his arms.

Sirius is in his arms.

Sirius is in his arms.

His heart was pounding hard. With how close Sirius was he was sure the other could feel it, feel it reverberating throughout every cavity of his being. He didn't think to reply back to him, just relishing in the way his name was said.

If Sirius had any plans on getting off he didn't make it known. It was only until they reached the Gryffindor common room with James' curious smile and Peter's half awake mumbles did Sirius react, shifting to get down. Remus let him, finding himself stupidly missing the weight.

“Sirius Orion Black what in Merlin's name are you doing?” Remus always had that one particular spot in the library, a spot that was hidden away from all the sounds of quills scribbling and soft murmurs of practice spells. When he wasn't running around with the Marauders or lounging at the Gryffindor common room he was found here.

“Joining you? To study?” Sirius replied casually, accentuating that point by slamming a tower of textbooks on the table making the library's noises pause for a bit, as if sensing a newcomer. Remus glared at him already feeling a headache forming, a very Sirius Black specific headache.

“You don't study” Remus eyed him quizzically, his ebony hair more ruffled and fussed through as he sat down next to him.

“I do!”

“No you don't.”

Silence. Remus was staring at him, head cradled against his palm. Sirius glanced at him then at the tower of books. Remus spotted a divination book as he read along the spines of the tower. “I thought you hated potions.” Remus remarked casually making Sirius flinch as if he had been caught, as if he had just coincidentally wandered into the library, grabbed whatever book he could find to add to the already accumulating pile of books, like he was looking for some kind of excuse.

“well yes…but you love potions don't you moony?” Sirius asks perfect brow arched. Remus huffs out a small snort leans against his seat and runs a hand through his messy brown locks. “Perchance. However Lily is way more brilliant-”

“Teach me,” Sirius proclaimed loudly in a haughty tone and his sudden skittish demeanour completely vanished. With eyes narrowed and lips pursed in contemplation Remus glanced at him then at his coursework that he had yet to finish.

“And what's in it for me?” He mused.

“You can't just do it because I'm your best friend? And the fact that I'll flunk out if I fail the next test?” Sirius says with a bruised expression, Remus rolls his eyes at the others wounded puppy look. He knew for a fact that Sirius—despite disliking a lot of subjects—actually has a natural talent for perfecting them. He also knew that Sirius studies just as hard as all of them but he keeps that mask of ‘i didn't study at all' whenever anyone would ask him. So he knew that Sirius couldn't possibly be failing potions, his pride and ego wouldn't allow it.

“... what's in it for me Black?” Remus repeated his tone amused. Amused in the way Sirius rolled his eyes and let out a small huff of annoyance. Remus liked it when he didn't give Sirius what he wanted right away, there's a certain appeal to it.

“I won't drag you out of bed for the next two Quidditch matches.” tempting. But Remus simply remained silent, brow raised.

“I'll stop charming your things to disappear and reappear in different places” Remus bristled.

“Wait so that's why my quills ended up under Pete's bed-”

“Anyways-”

“If you want me to even have you sit next to me, you'd stop that” He threatens pointing his quill at Sirius, his only response was a bright grin showing pearly white teeth.

“Oh I know ! How about I treat you and the guys to butterbeer in hogsmeade?” Sirius suggested, his eyes sparkling at the idea and it made Remus’ heart clench painfully.

Ah yes, the infamous Hogsmeade trip was coming up. To Remus' dismay both James and Sirius wouldn't take him wanting to cozy up in bed with a book as an answer. At the others expecting look he gives a small sigh, saying a small goodbye to his self respect and silently acquiesces.

“Pull out the Potions textbook- no not like that-” He quickly stops Sirius from recklessly toppling the entire tower of books onto both of them.

“Alright Professor Lupin. Let's begin.” a grin and a small shove from Remus and the two finally started on their lesson.

★

It didn't even surprise Remus anymore. The soft snores that are barely even noticeable unless you listen in carefully, ebony locks splayed messily across the mahogany table, coursework and textbooks surrounded a sleeping Sirius 'just a few minute break’ Black. The two worked for a decent hour and a half before Sirius kindly asked (pleaded) for a break then proceeded to nap for the next twenty or so minutes leaving Remus in silence again.

Saved for the small intakes of air. Remus shouldn't have found it distracting. But when he found himself messing up simple arithmetics because of it he promptly pushed away his coursework and buried his head in his arms, his mind letting out a silent scream.

He was sure Sirius had planned this the entire damned time. He always had a knack for distracting Remus at the worst possible moment. He lifted his head slightly leaning it so that his cheek was against his arm and that he had a clear view of Sirius sleeping face.

In the dim light of the library the strands of his hair appeared like spilled ink draping his pale face. Remus admired him for a small moment. He looked peaceful, his brow relaxed, chest rising and falling rhythmically. Remus admired all the features he never got to because of his strict ‘don't get too close’ policy when it came to Sirius. But sleeping Sirius was different from awake Sirius so Remus made exceptions.

He moved just a tad bit closer.

Sirius had clear skin; he wondered how soft it'd feel under his skin. There were a couple moles littered here and there, under his eye, on his jawline, one on the apple of his cheek. The most shocking discovery is the barely there scar located over his brow.

Remus’ traitorous hand moved first tracing the contours of Sirius' face, his touch light and fleeting, a hair's breadth away from the others skin. He swallowed thickly, feeling his heart rise from its place in his ribcage all the way to his throat. His hand pulled away only for it to land on the soft wisps of inky locks, he pushed it back tucking it behind Sirius' ear.

He really wanted to kiss him.

He might just do it.

He stares long and hard at the others slightly parted lips. It was unfair at how pleasant they looked, almost tempting him to seal them with his own, just an innocent peck would send him overboard—heck even imagining kissing his best friend was enough to muddle his mind.

He takes his hand away gently and as soon as he does a sort of longing hits him. Longing to card his hands through the others hair, to caress his cheeks, to map the location of all his moles and burn them into his memory, to find out the scars that marred his skin and to show him his own ones.

He leans in.

skin meets skin. Warmth steeped in warmth.

His lips brushed against the other's forehead for a brief moment before he pulled away. Those brief moments felt like eternity, a thousand heartbeats expressed in a simple innocent peck.

Remus pulled away. His cheeks prickled with heat as he focused his attention back on his arithmetic homework, making it a point not to look at Sirius or even think of Sirius.

He missed the smallest quirk of lips and the hammering pulse of the ‘sleeping’ wizard beside him.

Note: made it to the end? Have a cookie 🍪 the plot was non existent and I feel like I fudged up the pacing a bit TT? Can you tell I just wanted to write about the two of them TT (I might make this a mini series because I plan to write part two ! This time instead of names it's kisses mwhehehe so stay tuned for that one) 𐙚 reblogs, comments, and likes are always much appreciated.

The characters are from JK. Rowling's world, I don't associate myself with the author. © All rights reserved

Art: Anteyka (GUYS IF YOU KNOW THE ARTIST PLS DM ME. a Pinterest comment says it's them but I'm not 100% sure!)

[youknowwho-mustnotbenamed]

November 12 - Moving Staircase & November 16 - Hospital Wing | word count: 893 | @wolfstarmicrofic

There is something inherently wrong with the scene before him. There is no reasonable explanation for it. Which means, he is imagining all of it. Because why else, would Sirius Black—who can out-magic almost everybody at this school—be lying in the hospital wing, looking like he… like he…

This should never be something Remus has to witness. He is supposed to be the one lying broken in a bed of the hospital wing. He isn’t supposed to see one of his friends with their arms twisted at awkward angles and their faces black-and-blue. So why, is he standing over the bed, looking down at Sirius who looks as though he got into a fight with a centaur and lost?

Madam Pomfrey left almost two hours ago now, with promises Sirius would wake soon, and yet there are no signs of him so much as stirring. He is certain the crescent moons on his palms will be there permanently from how long he has been clenching his fist.

Then suddenly, Sirius’ eyes flutter open and the rest of the world falls away. Remus never found himself focused on Sirius eyes—there are so many other wonderful parts of him—but right now, he clings to them like a lifeline. They are open, and though he can see a tinge of pain the crinkles around them, they are open. Sirius is awake, and everything is going to be okay.

“Moony?” He croaks, trying to shift in bed, before wincing and giving up the effort.

“Who did this to you?” He finds himself demanding without any preamble.

“Huh?”

“Who did this to you? Who hurt you, because I’m going to make sure they get what they deserve.”

“And what is that exactly?” Sirius asks, eyes hungry, almost predatory.

“They are going to get what they gave to you. Now, who did it?”

He hates this. He hates being violent, and he hates that seeing Sirius like this brings out the violence in him. But he doesn’t try to tamp it down. Not now, not when rage is flowing through him and needs some kind of outlet. Not when Sirius has his full attention on him, and doesn’t appear to be looking away any time soon.

“Well, I fear that would be counterintuitive. Bit Romeo and Juliet, yeah?”

“I—what?” Remus asks, heart stumbling at the comparison between them and lovers.

“You want to hurt the person who did this to me, so you shove me down the stairs. Then, you would be the one to hurt me so you would have to fling yourself down the stairs.”

“Sirius, what are you going on about?”

Suddenly sheepish, Sirius ducks his head, clearly trying to hide the bright red flare along his neck and cheeks.

“Sirius…”

“Ifelldownthestairs.”

“You—”

The door to the infirmary bursts open, swinging back closed from the force with which I hits the wall. Without looking, Remus knows exactly who it is. And the guilt and dread pools even heavier in his gut. Merlin, how could he have forgotten about James and Peter? Especially James. He was being too selfish and wrapped in his own head to think about the others. How can they forgive him now? He knew about their best friend being in the hospital wing unconscious, and didn’t mention it at all? What a twisted way to lose friends than betrayal?

“What happened?” James exclaims, hitting the side of Sirius’ bed so hard it skids a bit.

His voice catches in his throat. He wants to shrink. He wants to disappear. He doesn’t deserve to be here, getting between two best friends, two soulmates. He is an intruder in this friendship, and it needs to be him who takes leave.

“Fell down the stairs” Sirius says with a smirk, the embarrassment completely gone from his face. Of course, he wouldn’t be embarrassed telling his ‘other half’ what happened. How can you be embarrassed in front of the person who would do anything for you? Remus on the other hand? Remus is the embarrassment.

He stands, managing to take a few steps before Sirius’ voice lures him back. “Moony? What are you going?”

He swallows passed the lump in his throat. “Just going to get Madam Pomfrey. She needs to do some tests now that you are awake.”

Before he can make a bigger embarrassment out of himself, he keeps walking. He walks out of the infirmary, down the corridor, down several flights of stairs. He walks away. As far away as he can get. As he is walking, he catches a glimpse of something out the corner of his eye. A notebook. It’s peeking out the corner of a hidden alcove, but Remus can spot the S.O.B on the corner.

Scooping up the book, he flips through. Inside, there are hundreds of small sketches. Views of the rolling grounds, animals, some tattoo ideas, even some random nonsense shapes. But overwhelmingly, the sketchbook is filled with… him. His far too knobby hands, his crooked nose with a deep scar, his eyes, his face buried in his sweater. And on the last page, the drawing Sirius must have been working on when he fell…

A close up of his face, each detail worked on in intense detail.

Remus drops to his knees, ignoring the harsh crack against the ground, and sobs.

[mrsriddlenott]

Rivalry: Chapter One

[masterlist][Ch2]

Regulus Black x Fem!reader

Mutual Pining and Academic Rivals are like my favorites so I’m throwing them together for Reggie🤭

I wanna try a slowburn, so this series will have some short parts that i can update easily between parts of Caught because I hate just not uploading for so long at a time. Fair warning I am going to include a bit of a love triangle later on(there will be NO cheating).

Warnings:Arguing,Language,Angst, Pining, Rivals, “Enemies” to lovers.

You and Regulus never liked each other. Actually, a good way to put it would be to say you hated eachother. But for some reason you were always clouding the brunette’s mind, even when you were yelling back and forth in an empty corridor he absolutely loved it. And despised that he loved it.

Despite the years he spent wanting nothing more than to one up you in any situation, suddenly every time your eyebrows furrowed at him as you began an argument, he’d imagine those eyebrows furrowing below him behind the curtains of his four poster bed. He thought at first it was simply because of your beauty that he was lusting after you, but after months of patrolling the corridors together as Prefects, he came to realize he genuinely liked your presence. Whether you were silent or bickering or yelling, he didn’t mind.

He denied those feelings for as long as possible, deciding instead to observe you from afar, acting as though he hated you while at the same time ensuring you were stuck with him as a partner in every class and during all Prefect duties. He didn’t understand why he shooed away every thought of you or hid his true feelings up until the last possible second, but he was a fool and a coward, he already knew that. As your seventh and final year at Hogwarts began, it dawned on Regulus that he’d likely never see you again once the year ended, making the dreadfully long school year suddenly seem far too short.

He could no longer deny he felt something real for you as he stood in the corner of the Slytherin common room, seething while he watched you dance against Barty Crouch Jr. The welcome back party was in full swing as you enjoyed yourself before you inevitably needed to become an image of responsibility.

You could feel his eyes on you, you could always feel his eyes on you. Almost immediately after you and Regulus became Prefects in your fifth year, it became increasingly difficult to avoid spending time with him. Though secretly you weren’t complaining, you’d always imagine what it would be like if he wasn’t so closed off. He was down right mean to you at times, and yet he clouded your thoughts all the same.

You always found yourself locking eyes with him in class, cursing yourself as you rolled your eyes away from his. You hated that you felt the way you did, but honestly you hated that he didn’t feel the same much more. This time, as your eyes locked, there was something new behind his irises. Something you never would have expected only two years earlier, jealousy.

You knew it couldn’t be a good idea, but after plying yourself with copious amounts of liquor you didn’t mind making a few bad decisions. You winked at Regulus’, biting your lip and making him go rigged in the corner before you turned yourself in Barty’s arms and captured his lips in yours.

Regulus wasn’t a jealous person, he’d accepted long ago that any girl wanting a member of the Noble House of Black would simply run to his brother, but you never did. You never even seemed the tiniest bit interested in Sirius, or anyone else for that matter. Maybe thats why it was so easy to stay calm all these years, his girl never seemed to have eyes for anyone. Until now. He never would have imagined the pure rage he felt as he stormed through the party, yanking you off Barty as you smiled drunkenly up at him with swollen lips.

“Come on, we have a project in Potions tomorrow and you can’t be hungover, I won’t be failing,” Before you could register what was happening he was pulling you down the stairs as you stumbled after him to the girls dormitory. To your surprise he immediately distinguished your dorm from the others and pulled you inside.

He dropped your wrist as he grumbled to himself, walking to your dresser and pulling out one of your oversized t-shirts and a pair of leggings, “Take these, get out of that dress, and go to bed.” He demanded in a stern voice.

“But I wanna go back to the partyyy” You practically whined in a beg, too drunk to care about the boy standing in your room with a glare.

“You can barely stand y/l/n, I am not letting you back into that party like this.” He grumbled as he shoved the clothes into your hands, turning away as you eyed the back of his head.

“Come on Reggie, let lose, you don’t always have to be the golden boy,” You teased as you began to remove the straps of your dress and shimmy it down your body.

“What did you just call me?” He snapped, turning around without thinking, his cheeks growing a bright red upon seeing your slightly exposed bra as you struggled to remove your dress in your drunken state. He quickly swiveled back around as you huffed and puffed with slurred statements of “stupid thing” and “tight ass dress” making him chuckle.

“Help me out here Reggie,” You sighed, dropping your hands to your sides with a slap as he arched his eyebrows at the wall in front if him, turning to see your dress halfway down your body as you stared up at him with hooded eyes.

“Um okay,” He mumbled as he moved to stand behind you, keeping his eyes upward as he gently pulled the zipper down with a soft chuckle, “It would be a lot easier if you unzipped it,”

“Yeah yeah,” You grumbled as you pushed the dress off of you without a warning, showing him your underwear that didn’t match your bra. He felt like all the oxygen was escaping his body as he watched you struggle to put on the shirt he picked out, your head popping out of the neckline with messy hair before you were hopping onto your bed, disregarding the leggings on the floor.

You yawned once, and then fell into a deep sleep as Regulus stood, shell shocked in front of your bed. For some reason he felt rather creepy being alone in your room hovering over your bed despite his very wholesome intentions. He neatly closed the curtains around your four poster and left a full glass of water on your bedside table before blowing out your candles and slipping out the door.

The next morning when you woke, you had absolutely no clue how you got to your room, or out of your clothes and into knew ones. The last thing you could remember clearly was getting your sixth, or maybe seventh?, cup of punch before dancing with Barty.

“Uh Black, can we talk?” You asked in a shaky voice as his friends eyed you up suspiciously, “It’s really important,” As Regulus took in your disheveled appearance and worried face he mumbled a later to his friends and directed you to a rather quiet section of the corridor before turning back to you.

“Did we….y’know….do anything last night?” You rushed out without meeting his eyes as you stood in front of him, bouncing nervously. “I just….I barely remember anything and….and Barty said….” You stopped, not wanting to believe nor accuse him of what Barty had suspected.

“You think I did something to you while you were drunk?” He asked in a soft voice as he watched your watery eyes meet his. He was hurt, for the first time in a long time he was hurt. “I didn’t. I helped you to bed, got you some water, and left. That’s it.”

You let out an audible sigh as tears slipped past your lashes, “Thank you, I-i was so messed up last night, I don’t wanna think about what could have happened if…” Regulus watched you with a mix of relief and annoyance, you had just almost accused him of the same thing you were now thanking him for preventing?

“You’re lucky y/l/n. Because guess what, Barty was the one all over you last night when you could barely walk properly, I’m sure he jumped to tell you how I pulled you away from him. You could have just come to me, y’know.” He scoffed as he walked past you and into Potions class taking the seat next to yours as you followed suit.

“I didn’t believe him Black, but I had to ask okay?” You whisper shouted as everyone began taking their seats around you.

“If you had to ask than part of you thought I was capable of that.” He said, eyes focused upfront as you watched the side of his face. His jaw clenched so tight you could see the muscle protruding on the side of his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Regulus, you may be a git sometimes but I don’t think you’re a monster.” You whispered as you pushed your chair closer to his.

“I don’t care what you think of me and I dont need your apology” He snapped, making you flinch and jump back as he turned to look at you. His eyes softened as regret began seeping into his stomach at the sight of you scared in front of him.

You looked away from him as soon as you felt your eyes begin to water, focusing solely on Professor Slughorn as Regulus tried to apologize beside you, something that shocked you greatly but didn’t make you waver.

“Just look at me,” He whispered, ignoring his notes entirely and looking only at you. “Come on, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare y-“

“Oh my gods just shut the fuck up!” You shouted, silencing Slughorn and drawing the attention of every student around you as you went red from embarrassment.

“Care to fill us in on your conversation Miss. y/l/n? Mr. Black?” Slughorn’s voice was calm bit stern as you both shook your heads and mumbled “no”.

“Well, you can pick it up in detention tonight then” He said with a tight lipped smile as he turned back to his notes on the blackboard. You dropped your forehead onto the table with a sigh as Regulus watched you with narrowed eyes.

After dinner you slipped out of the Great Hall undetected, fully intending to run to the library and “study” through your detention. Being a teacher’s pet came with some perks after all.

“I knew you’d be here,” Regulus chuckled as you approached the door he was now leant against. “Come on, we have detention little miss perfect….or did you intentionally plan to avoid me?” His smirk was so annoying you would risk another detention just to smack it off if it weren’t for your lack of any movable muscle as his eyes bore into yours.

“Slughorn wants us to clean Professor Binns’ class since he never does.” You eyed him suspiciously as he waited for you to walk in front of him, “Well go on then you little liar, can’t trust ya now can I?” He chuckled triumphantly at your eyes rolling as you walked past him towards the History of Magic classroom.

Regulus shamelessly watched you as you walked in front of him, deciding you were his whether you realized it yet or not. He’s never had a reason to defy anyone before, but as he watched your hair bouncing behind you and your cloak moving in the breeze giving him glimpses of your legs below. He knew you were the girl he’d marry, whether his Mother was okay with it or not, he’d either die alone or marry the beautiful girl in front of him.

~~~~

[junkiepunkie]

Post-Prank realization -Remus Lupin oneshot

[remus wakes up in the hospital wing post-full moon, brutally hurt and still bleeding, no one is there. Madame Pomfrey is busy with a patient loaded with dragon pox so he excuses himself, saying he needs to go to the loo, and hobbles back up to the gryffindor common room, on the way Snape and him collide]

"oi! Watch where you're..." Remus cut himself off, seeing the petrified, yet slightly sympathetic look thrown by Snape, who looked seven shades too green to be feeling fine "...going... You know what never mind"

Snape gulped heavily, his eyes looked almost glassy upon seeing Remus and his hand was clutching something so agressively in his hand that Remus could see the tension radiate throughout his whole body.

"Snivil- Severus, what is that?" He asked tentatively, in that moment the hatred for Snape faded to increadible concern. He looked like he'd seen a ghost- or well, an unplanned ghost.

The words had no sooner left Remus' mouth than Snape had lunged forward, grabbing Remus' forearm and harshly yanking up his sleeve.

"hey! What the fuck-" an unholy scream wracked Remus' entire body, cutting his complaint short. In that moment Remus turned the same green as Snape. He knew that burn well, dispite the rarity of feeling it, the few times he had had left their scars, just as incurable as those made by his own claws. 

Silver.

Shit.

Now, Remus was smart enough to know that this could only be bad, Snape could tell the whole school, his clueless friends, Snape could probably get Remus expelled.

"I'm not going to tell anyone" He hissed, quiet as a doormouse but with the power of an army.

For the first time in his life, Remus truely felt he understood why Lilly called Snape a great wizard, he had a drive behind his eyes, hidden in all aspects of life apart from his fits of rage. In this moment -though it sickened him to say it- Remus knew Snape could very much kill him. "I'll say nothing because it wasn't your fault, it was theirs, and, though I hate your guts and your friends, I have a slither of respect for you. But don't believe that I'll deny it if anyone asks, and do not test me, because that layer of respect is thin and extremely fragile. Now run along and for the love of god get new friends. See you later, Moony."

Ouch. Both from the silver and Snapes mouth, Ouch.

Remus turned away the second Snape lifted the silver to reveal a burning red knife shaped mark on his arm that Remus knew would not fade for a long time. He all but ran into the fat lady's portrait, spitting out the password as He fled inside. He went straight for the staircase, hoping to make a beeline for his bed and tell the marauders everything, maybe he could even have a cry with Sirius later on, anything to distract him from thoughts of Snape's speech and whatever he meant by 'it wasn't your fault, it was theirs'. Unfortunately for Remus -and his plans for a quiet night in- no sooner was he up the stairs to his dorm than Sirius was dashing past, sobbing his grey eyes out as if someone had died. Shit what if someone's died. Remus groaned at the thought. Today was not the day. Despite Remus' urge to ignore all commotion and just try and sleep off the sting of silver, this was Sirius and he needed to make sure he was ok. Immediately. Remus turned on his heel and went to follow after his friend/sexual tension partner/much needed emotional crutch, but James had his arm out, blocking Remus from descending any further as Sirius dashed from the common room, quicker than Remus had ever seen him.

"James move! I want to check that he's ok!" Remus exclaimed, anger slowly bubbling due to a mix of his increadibly rough full moon and the Snape commotion.

James continued to hold Remus back, both boys thankful that the common room was abandoned at this early sunday hour. 

"listen mate, we- erm- well, you'd better sit down" James stated. A few steps down Peter nodded sadly, too afraid to speak lest the words come out wrong.

Remus laughed coldly

"you're telling me! I just saw Snape and look what the cock did!" he rolled up his sleeve as he finally caved and let James lead him up the stairs. He was cluttering at almost indecipherable speeds "you know what that means right? Snape knows! James, Snape knows what I am and-"

"i know Remus... Remus if you'd just listen-"

"and then he had the fucking nerve to somehow blame you guys! Like what the fuck even was that?! Fucking batshit am I right?!?"

"REMUS!" James exclaimed, quickly catching himself and swallowing thickly as though it would help him develop some very called for empathy and patience. "Moony... Mate... It is our fault, or, well.."

"its Sirius" Pete butted in. Turning vivid pink as he realized what he'd done. Turning on his heel he exited the room.

Remus breathed shakily and sat on the edge of his bed, the forgotten aches caused by the injuries he suffered the night before hitting him like a ton of bricks. The entire right row of broken ribs and his fucked up calf were now gruelingly aparent. 

"what did Pete mean? How could Sirius be responsible for me being a werewolf?! That’s just dumb” he laughed nervously.

James closed his eyes and took in a deep breathed, before talking. Remus did the same but It seemed to do nothing.

"Remus, you know that none of us were there last night don't you?" he started "well, thats a lie, Pete was -and he tried his best- but a rat and a werewolf.. It didn't make much difference. After two hours he knew It was better to just leave"

Remus wanted to interrupt, say that he was fine with no one coming because It wasn't their responsibility to look after him and, if thats why Sirius is upset then he should know that it’s fine. He wanted to say all that and more, but he didn't, he just sat and listened.

"well, we were coming, we really were, only Sirius told us there was something he had to do first and, well, he'd had an argument with Snape earlier that day and something didn't feel right, so I decided i'd wait for Sirius before I followed Pete into the whomping willow." Remus nodded along, although he really wasn't sure where this could possibly be going.

"he turned up an hour after the full moon came up, I- well I had to listen to you screaming the whole time while I couldn't do anything about It like i usually would, so i was pissed off when he showed up, more so when i realised he'd brought Snape. And way way more so when i saw him show Snape the knot on the tree..."

If Remus could rank pain, silver would be an 8.5, transformation would have to be a 9. But this.. This implication, the silence in which Remus realised what had happened last night, the moment in which his whole would came crumbling down around him and everything made such painful sense. Well, this was a clear ten. 

Dispite this, James continued.

"So I jumped in, just as Snape was about to follow Sirius, I screamed that he had to leave when Sirius turned back and started telling Snape It was all fine, that It was just you studying in there. I- well, I tried to think on my feet, so I petrified Snape and I- I punched Sirius in the face, kicked him too, started proper fucking him up. He started crying and I was going to leave him and join you, but Pete came out and me and him had to carry Snivelous back in. But Remus before I petrified Snape we all heard you howl and- well…"

Remus bit his gum hard and forced himself to adopt an eerily calm demeanor . He sat and breathed and waited for James to say something, anything, but he didn't. Dispite himself Remus closed his eyes and asked the only question that mattered to him, the one question he wanted to ask. Unfortunately, It would be the one that hurt him the most.

"is he alright?" the question was caring and quiet, but the tone was scathing.

"what?" James asked, stunned.

"Sirius. Was he ok?" 

James faltered, pausing for a long time before answering, when he did his voice was soft. As If he was talking about someone dead. To Remus he might aswell have been.

"eh, I knocked him out, broke his nose. When he woke up this morning It look him a while to even remember what happened. When he did he freaked right out, you saw him, he's-"

"James humour me and just tell me he's alright" Remus snapped, the calm had gone now and in its place was rage.

James did that singular breathy chuckle one does when shocked and frustrated before speaking.

"alright, moony, physically he is fine"

Remus nodded meekly and collapsed back so that he was strewn across his bed. James followed his lead, laying himself directly beside Remus on the bed. In a moment of solidarity the two boys elbowed eachother, both offering the other a weak unhappy smile. Remus had said It once and he'll say It as many times as he could: James Potter is a fantastic friend.

As soon as the moment of content came, It was gone, both boys letting out defeated sighs as they turned to look at eachother, no funny buisness, just words and two pairs of honest eyes.

"I'm going to hate him forever now, you know?" Remus stated. It was true, he could never see things going back to how they were ever again. Sirius had gone and fucked It up, all of It.

James smiled again, a small, sad smile, but there was an undetectable trace of some genuine happieness.

"maybe you’ll hate him, but you'll forgive him eventually Moony." he said, as though it were plain as day.

Remus raised his brows in unfriendly challenge.

"I will not. He's fucking ruined it all James. This is- I mean, it's unforgivable!"

James nodded "oh yeah no, it's the worst thing he's ever done. It was dangerous and inconsiderate and down right psycho and he deserves no mercy, but let me ask you this Remus. Tell me why I think him 'ruining it all' means more to you than if I were to do the exact same thing he did?"

Remus sat bolt upright, the crushing pain in his chest strinking him as insignificant at that moment in time.

"what’s that meant to mean?" he asked defensively

James smirked as he too sat up. The smirk he gave was still tinged with unhappieness, but now there was a slight playfullness behind it.

"it means Moony, that I don't think that your friendship with me and Pete makes you feel the same as-"

"of course it makes me feel the same! Why wouldn't it, we're all good mates -great mates- we're family! I feel equally about all of you! So don't be- don't be so fucking daft Prongs! What was that even supposed to mean?!? Haha" Remus was panicking, badly. His hands were sweaty and his heart was all but palpatating. He could feel the green colour from earlier making a comeback.

James' face returned to its previous state of severity but his eyes stayed kind, welcoming. They were an ocean of comfort against his deadly serious features. He seemed to manage to make his face both intimidating and strict while also staying reliable and homely. He never once looked away from Remus as he took his hand in his, giving it a much needed reassuring squeeze.

"it means that I see the way you look at him when he can't see you. And I hear how to hum his favourite song when he's not around. I notice when you wait for him to agree to things before you make up your mind, and i've seen how he can calm you down when you're about to change on a full moon and you cry" He said each word gently, never letting go of Remus' hand, even when Remus began to tear up in fear that he'd be rejected

"He's your Lilly" he continued "and Moony -Remus- that is absolutely fine by me."

Wow. Hearing those words, not feeling any loss of contact dispite what James now knew, it triggered a full on breakdown. Remus collapsed into James' arms like a bundle of rags, his head resting on James' shoulder as his body wracked up and down violently. James didn't hesitate to hug Remus tight into his chest, patting his back as he cried and humming gently in an attempt to calm him down. Remus recognised the song "love reign o'er me" by the who, one of Sirius' favourites. It should have made his blood boil, but It didn't, not at all, no it just made the poor boy tired, so much so that he calmed down almost instantainiously. James sighed happily as Remus' sobs faded to cries, the whimpers before dying completely, leaving him just breathing shakily.

"this doesn't change anything James" Remus spoke up after a while longer being cradled by his friend, for once in his life feeling a sense of platonic understanding. "I'm still dead set on hating Sirius"

James smiled "thats fine Moony"

"and you know we're not dating" Remus yawned, his eyes fluttering closed, blinks becoming slower and slower.

"still fine Remus" 

"and the fact I like him, and that I'm gay doesn't mean i'll put this all behind me" Remus eyes shut fully now, his words turning to soft mumbles "anyway, he doesn't like me and now I don't like him. So we're even..."

"still fine Remus," James looked down at the sleeping boy in his arms and moved to gently lay the boy down so he could sleeping properly. "but just so you know sleepyhead, i've also seen how he looks at you when you can't see him"

Remus didn't hear that last sentence, and if he did he probably wouldn't have believed it, but James knew that it was a fact that made all the difference, whether Remus knew it or not. Remus may be stubborn, but Sirius was more so, he would try to make this better until Remus cracked and let him.

That night, Sirius limped back in to the dorm, eyes red and puffy, one stained purple and black from the night before. The first thing asked was how Remus was doing. James had only just begun to explain how Remus was first defeated and then angry, and how his chest seemed dented from his rough night, when Sirius snapped and said:

"James humour me and just tell me he's alright!"

James could have laughed. Yeah, he thought, everything was going to be just fine.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 8 - Bronze

@wolfstarmicrofic August 8, word count 662

Previous part First Jegulus part

Sirius sunk into their new sofa and seriously contemplated packing in the café altogether just so he could spend all day cocooned on this little bit of luxury. That was until James came barrelling in the front door with a glitter-covered gift bag. 

“No, no, no, no!” Sirius screeched when James plonked it down on the cushion and rainbow glitter showered from the bag and imbedded itself in the ridiculously soft fabric. “Remus!” He pleaded as he started to hyperventilate. Remus carefully picked up the bag and deposited it on top of one of their bills on the coffee table before grabbing the handheld hoover from the coat cupboard. Sirius didn’t think he breathed properly until every spot of glitter was diligently removed by Remus. “James Fleamont Potter, are you actively trying to kill me or have you been drinking again?” James looked at him confusedly. 

“Erm, what?”

“Brand new sofa!” Sirius pointed at the sofa. “Fairy dust from the pits of hell!” He pointed at the gift bag twinkling innocently on the coffee table. 

“What, it’s only glitter. I thought you liked sparkly things,” James held out his hands, not understanding where Sirius's rage was coming from. 

“Sweetheart, I think you’re forgetting that not everyone hates glitter the way you do and that the bag does in fact hold a gift,” Remus said gently as he stroked the back of Sirius’s neck, attempting to calm him down. 

“Shit, sorry James, it’s just a pet peeve of mine. That shit gets everywhere, and it just keeps popping up even when you haven’t had glitter in your home for months. Thank you for the kind thought though,” He said a bit sheepishly. 

“No worries,” James brushed it off. Sirius loved how easy his best friend was, he never held grudges and could generally be won back with a slice of honeycomb cheesecake and a good cup of tea. 

Sirius carefully opened the top of the gift bag, trying hard not to wince when a cascade of glitter fell off the bag when the tape snapped. He took out the rectangular item wrapped in tissue paper and stepped away from the bag, lest he get any of the shiny demon microplastic disks on his clothing. 

He tugged at the small strip of tape and unwrapped the gift. It was a wooden plaque. He flipped it over and etched onto a bronze plate were the words ‘Howlin’ at the Moon, owned by Sirius O Black & Remus J Lupin.’ With the outline of a wolf howling up at the moon. “James,” He said in awe. “It’s beautiful. Thank you,” He brushed his fingers across the lettering, tracing each letter. He spotted some odd dots beside the moon and when he looked closer he realised it was his constellation. “Canis Major,” He gasped, looking up at James. 

“I wanted it to be something really personal for you guys to put on the wall of the café as an opening gift. The wall was looking a little bare.” James beamed broadly at them. Sirius and Remus wrapped their friend in the tightest hug the two of them could give.

“You giant goofball, we love you. Can we go put it up now?” Sirius looked at Remus hoping he'd say yes. 

“That’s why I bought my drill with me,” James patted the end of the power drill poking out of his pocket. 

They walked over to the café, using the side entrance so no one would think they were open, and watched James expertly put up the plaque. They stood together and admired the shiny plaque for a while until it got too dark to see without the lights on and went home for a cheeky takeaway, kept well away from the new sofa. Sirius volunteered to take the rubbish out to the wheelie bin after they'd finished and were tidying up. He snatched that god's forsaken glitter monstrosity off the coffee table and threw it out as well. 

Next part

[pascaloverx]

To Begin Again

PART ONE — FINAL CHAPTER

Summary: You're a new teacher at a large and influential school. It's a risky step for you, as you've been running from your ex for almost two years. But when Dumbledore asks you to take on a class at the renowned Hogwarts, you can't refuse. However, your life as a newly arrived teacher won't be easy. Especially when the other teachers don't seem eager to make friends. Or rather, two teachers in particular: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.

Author's Note: Welcome, dear readers. Please leave your comments if you enjoy fanfiction. This fanfic takes place almost in the real world (with the addition of werewolves) and is not a wizarding fanfic. There will be some differences and changes in things from the Harry Potter story or other fanfics in the HP universe, but I promise to do my best writing this fanfic. So dear readers, I’ll be splitting this fanfic into two parts; the first part will end in this chapter, and then there will be a time jump before the second part begins. I hope you’ll continue following the story!

SEVENTEEN PART TWO

Slowly, you made your way to meet your father. He had been arrested shortly after it was proven that he was the mastermind behind the crimes committed at Hogwarts in the past month. Honestly, you wanted nothing more than to kill him with your bare hands. But there would be no justice for his victims if you did. On the same day you went to visit your father in prison, his victims were being buried. That fact made you even angrier with him. Harry cried for a long time, watching his parents and sister be laid to rest. The boy’s grief couldn’t be fully eased, as the bodies of his family were too burned for a proper funeral. Sirius and Lupin made sure Harry felt loved by those around him. Hermione and Ron did their best to comfort him. Draco, however, refused to attend his mother's funeral. He said he wanted to remember her as beautiful and smiling. You understood that this was his choice, but you advised him to say goodbye. He assured you that he would visit her grave when he was ready.

“What do I owe the displeasure of your visit, ungrateful daughter? If you've come here to tell your old father that you hate him deeply, keep your words; I have no remorse for the things I've done.” Grindelwald says as you arrive in front of his cell. A filthy, cold, and dark cell. The kind of place he must be hating to be in. You smile with satisfaction at seeing him looking so miserable.

"I didn’t come here to please you in any way, murderous father. In fact, I came to tell you firsthand that your plans, all of them, have fallen apart. The great Gellert Grindelwald, failed even in the smallest details of his filthy scheme to take Hogwarts for himself. And I feel it’s my duty as your daughter to inform you of that." You say, slowly approaching the bars of your father’s cell. A wicked smile spreads across your face as you watch him grow uncomfortable. He always hated failure, and now...

"I'll start by telling you that all of your accomplices are in prison. Except, of course, for Snape, who had the decency to hand over all the evidence of the crimes you and your gang committed. His end was death, but the rest of the idiots who followed you are locked up. Lucius was in London, so he's imprisoned elsewhere. Bellatrix and Pettigrew tried to flee the country, and they're being held in a different place as well. But soon, the four of you will reunite in Azkaban—a reunion that will apparently last quite a long time, perhaps for the rest of your life. Which is nowhere near the price you owe for what you did to my students, their families, and the only man who ever loved you, even though you were an arrogant fool." In this last part, your hands shake the bars of the cell as your voice rises. Your gaze turns almost animalistic, as if the rage and resentment for your father's actions are consuming you, which only makes him laugh. The bastard thinks he can still laugh after everything he's done.

“He loved the fantasy of me. The poor fool was bound to a Grindewald who is no longer what I am. I had to give up everything precious to me years ago because of you, you little wretch. I should have been the headmaster of Hogwarts, the most influential person in London. I would have turned Hogwarts into a damned empire. But twenty-five years ago, Dumbledore decided to take a break from our relationship because he thought it was wrong, which led me to have vengeful sex with your mother. I was inexperienced at the time, so I got her pregnant. Just one time with that insufferable woman was enough to destroy everything I wanted to build. I had to take responsibility for you, which distracted me from becoming the man with enough influence to one day be the headmaster of that school. And when I finally find my way back to reclaim what I lost, you—your little whore—destroy everything once again.” Your father is unrecognizable, finally revealing his true nature. The depth of his contempt for you is overwhelming, and though it leaves you uncomfortable, it shouldn't be a surprise. After all, he allowed harm to come to you in the name of this chaotic plan he called his path to power. His words, dripping with hatred, only confirm what you had always feared—that to him, you were nothing more than a pawn, another obstacle in his twisted ambitions.Now, standing before him, the weight of his betrayal and cruelty sinks in even deeper.

"You want to blame everyone around you for your mistakes, except yourself. What a great man you are, my beloved father. But I don't care about your hateful words. I just came to let you know that everything you've done has failed." Your voice echoes off the walls of the cell, firm and laced with controlled bitterness.

"The boys, the children you orphaned, will be well taken care of. Narcissa left the custody of her son to me, which is surprising, but I will fix the mess you've made." You see a flicker of irritation cross his face, but you don't give him a chance to interrupt. "As for Harry, he's in the care of Lupin and Sirius. Sirius has been legally appointed as his guardian, something the Potters had settled in their will before they died. He has the family you tried to destroy." When you mention Dumbledore, your father takes a deep breath, as if bracing for the pain in your words.

"And as for Dumbledore," you pause, looking at him with a mixture of disgust and triumph, "he intends to keep his position at Hogwarts. He didn’t want to visit you. He sent a message saying you are his greatest regret." The words seem to cut deeper than you expected. For the first time, your father remains silent, his face twisted in a blend of anger and humiliation.

"If you're done trying to gloat, you can leave and live your little fairy tale ending," your father sneers, his tone dripping with disdain. "But I should inform you, Regulus Black hasn’t been mentioned among those facing the consequences that we 'criminals' are to endure. And with him untouched, you can rest assured that my plans will continue to echo." His voice takes on a menacing tone that sends a chill down your spine. You notice his eyes gleaming with a twisted satisfaction, and a chilling, almost predatory smile spreads across his face. Slowly, he retreats into the shadows of his cell, his figure blending into the darkness. His final words hang in the cold air like a lingering curse, leaving you shaken as the confrontation comes to a haunting end.

As you step out of the prison, the weight of your father’s final threat clings to you, a dark cloud following your every thought. If Regulus truly is involved in your father's twisted plans, there’s no guarantee of safety—for you or for the boys. This realization only solidifies your decision to leave, knowing it’s the best course of action to protect them and yourself.

You take a taxi straight to Hogwarts, your mind heavy with thoughts of the goodbyes you must say and the uncertain road ahead. There’s an odd mix of sadness and relief as you approach the school for what you know will be the last time. Draco, who has surprisingly embraced the idea of leaving with you, should be just about done packing by now. His sudden enthusiasm for the departure makes sense, given everything he’s endured: his father’s imprisonment, his mother’s tragic death. He’s ready for a change, for a fresh start—just like you. As you arrive, you can’t help but feel the finality of it all. Soon, you’ll leave this place behind.

"Don’t you plan to say goodbye?" Lupin asks as he approaches you, almost running. He has a faint smile on his face, trying to stay strong after everything that has happened. His body bears numerous injuries, slowly recovering from the motorcycle accident he endured the night everything changed—the night Harry's parents died and the rest of you were kidnapped.

"I didn’t know you were here. I figured you’d be resting after the funeral. I know this must be a tiring time for you," you say as you walk toward your future former room. Lupin follows, trying to keep up with your hurried steps. The truth is, you’re trying to avoid confronting Remus, fearing he might blame you as Sirius did.

"You’ve been avoiding me for a while, but I hope you don’t think you can leave without saying goodbye. We have a connection, for God’s sake, I can feel you’re suffering. I don’t understand why you won’t come to me to talk. I can help you…” Lupin stops in front of you, making you halt. Looking into his eyes, which are welling up with tears, you can sense his hurt. This werewolf bond is a curse.

"No one can help me, dear. I’m the daughter of a cruel monster who brought disaster into many lives, including yours. I don’t want you to force yourself not to hate me because you’re a good person. You can and should feel anger towards me, towards my father, even towards my future generations if you want." You say, trying to numb your emotions so Lupin doesn’t feel the need to pity you.

"Your relatives are not you; their actions shouldn’t fall on you. What Sirius did or said wasn’t right. He was under pressure, acted impulsively. I’m not making excuses for him. You should be angry for being insulted for being someone’s child. And I’m sorry about Draco. Sirius has been different since Lily and James died. I think what keeps him sane is Harry." Lupin says, moving closer to you, holding your hands and looking into your eyes.

"I'm leaving, Lupin. There’s nothing I can say or do that will erase the pain caused by my father. I can’t look at half the faces I see here, or hear what they say about me and the murders," you confess. After a brief pause, you start to cry, recalling the memories of those who have passed.

"I see their faces every night. Lily and James burning in front of me. I see the face of their daughter, a beautiful baby. I remember Narcissa, asking me to take care of her son. All of this surrounds me. As long as I stay here, in this same place, what happened to all of us will haunt me." You're crying, your voice choked with pain and suffering. You didn't want to reveal your emotions so openly, but you couldn't control yourself. Lupin hugs you, providing a comforting sensation that fills your heart. You cry on Lupin's shoulders as he holds you tightly.

"I don’t care about that, I hope you know," Lupin says softly. "You hold a very special place in my heart, Y/N. I never thought I could feel the way you make me feel. I know I love Sirius and Harry deeply, just as I loved Lily and James. But you… ever since I made you like me, I feel as though you're a part of me." His voice breaks slightly, revealing the depth of his emotions. "Knowing you're hurting, that you're carrying this burden, it destroys me." As his arms release you, Lupin gently cups your face in his hands, and you know exactly what he means. This connection between the two of you, however painful, has entwined your hearts in a way that feels as if they beat as one—however cliché that might sound. Before you realize it, your lips meet his. It's the last kiss between two unfortunate werewolves, whose lives have been filled with more tragedy than joy. The kiss is tender, careful, and full of unspoken affection. The sweetness of Lupin's lips lingers, and for a fleeting moment, you find solace. As your lips part, your foreheads touch, and for this one final time, a fragile peace settles in your heart.

"I’ll miss you. So please, take care of yourself. Take care of Harry and Black too. You all deserve a fresh start," you say softly, pressing a kiss to Lupin’s cheek. This is your farewell. Without giving him the chance to respond, you step away, distancing yourself from the weight of his gaze. With hurried steps, you head toward your room, knowing that there’s little time left before you and Draco must leave. You still need to gather your things and check if he’s ready. Your flight leaves in a few hours, and you both need to move quickly. Your mother has already agreed to host you both until you find a place to settle down in the United States. Officially, Draco is now a part of your family.

"Your arrival was sudden, and your departure will be just as stealthy. It suits you well..." Sirius mutters from behind you as you finish gathering your bags. When you turn to face him, he’s leaning against the doorframe of your room, his arms crossed and eyes dark with an emotion you can’t quite place. Your gaze hardens, nearly lethal, but you take a deep breath, closing your eyes momentarily to avoid doing something reckless. The last things he said to you and Draco were nothing short of horrendous, and the weight of those words still lingers heavily in the air.

"Even so, I am not fortunate enough to come and go without the displeasure of your company," you say, your voice sharp as you lift the last of your bags. "Do not mistake the open door as an invitation to step in here with your dark thoughts and twisted feelings. From you, Mr. Black, I want the greatest distance possible. Since the very beginning, you've treated me as if I meant nothing. And if you're here to hurl more insults, go to hell. I have no time to be the person you throw all your frustrations at." You push the last of your belongings outside your room, joining the rest of your things in preparation for your departure. Sirius remains standing in the doorway, though he refrains from physically blocking your way. There's a strange tension in the air, his presence thick with unspoken words, but you’ve already made up your mind—there’s no space for him in the life you’re about to embark on.

"I heard that Narcissa left you a small fortune in exchange for taking care of her son. I just wanted to confirm that you are the kind of person so easily manipulated and dazzled. I wonder if you also sold yourself to your father. Perhaps you took part in his plans, which would justify Narcissa leaving her cub with you. So tell me, how much were you paid to let my friends burn alive, or to pretend to be a victim while torturing me and my godson?" As soon as Sirius finishes speaking, your hand lands on his face. A slap he had been deserving since the last time he spoke harshly to you.

"I won't ask how you dare to accuse me of something so vile, because it's obvious what's happening here. You're looking for people to blame for the mistakes made by a small group of evil individuals. You want to blame me because that's what you've been doing since the beginning of all this. If you want to believe I'm involved, then believe whatever you want. But when you realize you're wasting your time and sanity pointing fingers at everyone around you, remember that your godson needs you. Harry needs a sane man looking after him, so get yourself together. And be glad I'm leaving, because one more moment in your presence and I'd be joining my father in prison." You speak, too irritated but trying not to lower yourself. Your eyes meet Sirius' gaze, and he looks worn out. Up close, you notice his dark circles, a slight scent of alcohol, and his unshaven face. He's neglecting himself.

"I'm very glad you're leaving. Very glad, indeed. Our lives will be much better without you and that little blonde villain around here. And don't worry about Harry; he's far from being any of your concern," Sirius says, stepping closer until he's right in front of you. The smell of alcohol becomes stronger as the distance between you narrows. For a moment, you both just stare at each other in silence. Then, suddenly, Sirius kisses you. The kiss is rough, almost aggressive. It's impatient too. In reality, the kiss between you is an absolute mess.

"We shouldn't be doing this. You hate me now, remember?" you say, pulling your lips away from his. You know you shouldn't have kissed him, but it's as if Black is intoxicating. Fortunately for both of you, being in different countries will help you detox from him.

"I hate you immensely. Be sure of that while you’re running away, trying to erase us from your memory," Sirius says with a hint of disdain, stepping back from you. Before you can say anything, he’s already gone, retreating into his room and locking the door behind him. A coward.

As you carry your two suitcases through nearly all of Hogwarts to the taxi's trunk, you mentally say goodbye to the corridors of the place that has been like home for a while. When you're done, you head to the students' dormitories to find Draco. It's time to leave, finally.

"Well, I don't know about your financial conditions, Weasley, but I think you should accept this small act of solidarity. It's not every day someone gives a limited edition Gucci shoe to their tormentor, so accept it with gratitude. Unfortunately for you, Hermione, I'll only leave you a Prada that I received from my father when my first tooth fell out. I think it will serve you well, but if it doesn’t, sell it. It will give you a nice little nest egg. As for you, Potter, I'll leave you this cash. It's not much, but if you ever find yourself in need and decide to visit Miss Y/L/N in the United States, I know you'll need money for the tickets. If possible, take Lupin with you; I couldn't stand hearing my cousin complain for even another second." Malfoy distributes farewell gifts like an early Santa Claus. He has a smug smile on his face while the other kids look somewhat offended. It seems Draco has also gifted his friends—Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy—with sophisticated clothes matching the ones he's wearing now.

"Shouldn't it be us giving you a farewell gift?" Harry asks, looking confused.

"We're not giving any presents to Malfoy, so you can forget about it," Weasley says loudly, already getting exasperated, while Hermione tries to calm him by placing a hand on his shoulder and giving him a disapproving look.

"I think we should show gratitude for Malfoy's kindness, even if it's unnecessary and lacks any apparent explanation," Hermione says, looking at Malfoy with an understanding expression but with a forced smile.

"You're so annoying, I won't miss this kind of conversation in the future. But you don’t need to worry about being grateful. These gifts are actually me getting rid of some things that didn’t fit in my luggage. Except for Harry’s, of course. But that's because when we were imprisoned, he told me he was afraid his life would change completely. Since I noticed Black is losing his mind, I thought if he ever wanted to be close to Miss Y/L/N to take a break from you, he’d need some money," Draco explains, somewhat irritated by the interrogation from the children. Before you can go to the dormitory to get Draco, you see Harry approach Malfoy and hug him. Not a false or distant hug, but a real, tight one.

"Thank you, Malfoy. The gifts were thoughtful, and we’ve been rude. But I want to make it clear that I do have money," Harry says while hugging Draco, who soon pulls away, looking seriously at Potter.

"Malfoy, we need to go. Say your goodbyes," you say, surprising all the children. Draco grabs his bags and hands them to you. You then murmur that he should put the bags in the taxi at the entrance of Hogwarts. Draco turns to his former enemies and says a brief farewell. Draco then insists that his friends help with the luggage, and they immediately assist him. In the dormitory, only you, Harry, Hermione, and Ron remain. Hermione and Ron seem uncomfortable with your presence, likely blaming you as well. But Harry smiles at you, genuinely. He comes over and hugs you.

"Professor, I don't want to blame you. But I'm grateful that you saved me from that place where we were trapped. I'll keep your secret, too," Harry murmurs, still hugging you.

"I'm sorry, Harry; for everything. You deserved more than this." You say, gently stroking Harry's head with your fingers.

"You deserved it too, professor." The sadness in Harry's voice touches you deeply. You hope that he can have a good life despite all the trauma he's experienced. There's nothing more you can say at the moment to comfort him. So, as you and Harry part ways from the embrace, you set off toward a new life and a fresh opportunity.

END OF THE FIRST PART

Preview of the Second Part of the Fanfic

Four years later, you are arriving home with groceries, preparing to make Draco's favorite lasagna; he should be coming home soon. He just got his driver's license. As you approach your house, you spot a brown-haired boy with glasses, not believing that it could be who you think it is.

"Harry Potter, what the hell are you doing here?" you exclaim. Despite what you say, you're not angry, but rather pleasantly surprised. You quickly go over to hug Harry. He immediately embraces you, trying to help you keep from dropping the grocery bags.

"Extreme times call for extreme measures. That and bringing you personally the invitation to your wedding," Harry says, his voice sounding deeper. He's grown up so quickly. But you're concerned about the tone of his voice.

"Why are we in extreme times, and who is getting married? I hope it’s not you. If you want, you can stay with us. You don't have to get married; in fact, I encourage you to run away from any marriage," you say, reassuring him that he can find a home and refuge if needed. For heaven's sake, what have Lupin and Black been letting this boy do? Now that he's so close to you, you notice that he seems tired and thinner.

"Sirius was arrested, and I didn't want to disturb Lupin. In fact, Lupin is the one getting married. And it won’t be to Sirius; he's marrying his new girlfriend, Nymphadora Tonks. Lupin asked me to mail the invitation, but since my godfather got into trouble, I thought I’d come in person. It was quite a trip, and I’ll tell you all about it on the way back to Hogwarts. What do you think?" Harry looks at you with a pleading expression, as if he’s feeling lost without you. You’re left confused by the many pieces of information.

"Step-mom, you won’t believe what happened. Professor Lewis dared to give me a bad grade on that video we made dancing to 'Wannabe.' He said it wasn’t artistic enough," Draco says, still not noticing Harry. "What the hell are you doing here, Potter?" Malfoy exclaims, surprised to see Harry for the first time in four years. Harry looks a bit uneasy, while Draco appears angry.

"Hey, Malfoy. I know you're angry with me. Your last message made that pretty clear, but this is bigger than both of us. I need you and Miss Y/L/N to go back to Hogwarts," Harry says, almost sounding guilty about something, which makes you wonder if he and Draco have some unresolved emotional issues going on.

"I don't know what you think you're doing here, but leave. We're not going with you, not even to the corner. Stepmother, I'll wait for you inside," Draco says, all pompous, as if he's too proud to show how glad he is to see Potter. Malfoy goes into the house, and you look at Potter with a lot of compassion.

"Dear, let's go inside. I'll make lasagna. Fortunately, Draco and I will be on vacation for the next few weeks. I'll help you with Sirius and try to give you a chance to improve your situation with Malfoy. Now, let's go in," you say, seeing Harry beam with happiness at your words. It seems that after four years, it's time to return to Hogwarts.

[whorediaries-09]

on the run;

pairing- sirius black x reader warning(s)- angst, murder, mentions of sexual abuse. a/n- so much angst!! i promise it will all be better in the next and last chapter.

prequel masterlist series masterlist little train.

sirius' worst fears had come true. you were nowhere to be found. your wand was missing. he'd checked the darkest corners of the house, revisiting his ugly memories as his eyes fell on the place he'd spent captured, away from any sort of freedom.

while he hadn't expected you to stay up tangled with him in his bedsheets, he had certainly also not imagined you to be entirely missing from the house.

had you lied to him last night? had you actually used your wand?

it didn't really matter. it didn't matter if you'd lied to him. what mattered now, was to find you. but how? had you left a sign? he needed to find it, if you had.

he couldn't lose you again. not when you'd watched the sun rise on his sins. just you and him.

he took his wand in his hand, muttering the charm to reveal the secrets. the sheet blew up from your bed, revealing a note. he recognized handwriting as he took it in his hands.

'don't come to find me. i'm at the ministry, i have to take care of something. i'll be back.'

he wished he'd believe the note. all he could think about the horrible thought of losing you, again. he couldn't, not when you'd come back right into his life again.

bygone would be bygones. even if it was handcuffed, he'd always leave with you. you'd never been absquatulate.

so, he apparated to the ministry.

*-

he could feel the blood, hot and metallic pouring out of his mouth, as you pushed his body slump against the ground. you held his wand at his neck, venom pouring out of your words as his cold gray eyes stared at yours.

'you thought you could get me, malfoy? i'm so much more than just what you thought i was,'

he pushed his palms together in feign mercy. but oh how could you let him go? it was pure rage that ran through your veins. even with a busted nerve that popped out of your forehead, and blood pouring your torn lip, you knew you'd stand stronger than he'd ever. he'd fallen to the ground the moment your fist hit his head, blood shooting his mouth.

it was pure poison, bitter, agonizing and cruel on your tongue. but this time around, you'd spit it out, victory slashing you through.

'there's a reason why i was the youngest auror in history. you stupid buffoon, you should've thought right through before doing what you did.'

'please, please leave me.' he said. you could see through his act. your leg kicked between his legs. he scrunched up his face in pain.

'you think i'm gonna leave you?'

'you've got no choice. the dark lord will find you and kill you.'

'if you think i'm scared of your little death eater friends, you're so terribly wrong, malfoy.' his lips curled into a cruel smirk. a bitter, remorseless curl.

'what are you going to do if not leave me? torture me? hurt me? you'll leave me alive at the end.'

his words drove you to insanity. pure hot rage consumed you, as you took his walking stick, jabbing the snake shaped end on his face.

'i won't leave you alive- i'll fucking destroy you. i'll fucking end you, malfoy.' you lifted your arms up, taking the stick with you, ready to blow the sharp edge of the fang from the snake, straight on his chest, when you felt strong, familiar arms curl up against your waist, and push you against the person's body.

'LEAVE ME!' you screamed, kicking your legs in the air. you felt tears hot, at your waterline, begging to fall.

'even i hate him, but you can't just fucking kill him,' he said. and god you hated how his voice sounded so familiar and comforting.

'I CAN KILL HIM. HE RAPED ME! this is my battle, sirius. not yours. never will be yours.'

his arms left your struggling body. he took out his wand from his pocket, handing it over to you. lucius sat, propped against the wall. you watched the blood flow from his busted head, nerve throbbing violently blue against his pale skin.

'i'm gonna kill you,' you said, rage consuming you like a madness you'd never felt before. 'fucking destroy you, malfoy. what are you going to do?' you asked, watching as real fear blurred his cold gray gaze. you laughed, mirthlessly. 'what are you going to do? say no?'

and in that moment, you saw it clear, right ahead of you. you held your breathe, counting to ten. you felt the earth move around you and your heart burst. again. you held sirius' wand in your shaking hand. sirius wrapped his fingers around your forearm, the cold touch a contrast against the death eater mark burned on your akin.

this was the end. the end of your endless agony.

and maybe, it was a blessing in disguise.

'it is your war to fight in. but i'll stay with you no matter what.'

your grip tightened around his wand, fueled by his words.

and even if you were too close to the stars, he'd always come back to you.

because the both of you had fallen, again. just as hard as the last time.

'avada kedavra' you whispered. a silent, screeching green light shot out the wand. you watched the life leave his eyes as the wand fell from your grip. your knees weakened. it was as if you watched the soul arise from his lifeless body, and descend into the pits of hell.

and every time you'd realize you're too close to the stars, selling your soul to them, sirius would be right behind you, saving you.

he wrapped his hands around you, pulling you closer to his unusually warm body. it was funny really, how you fit into his embrace as if you remembered him. as if you were the piece of a puzzle.

it was too late. the puzzle had already been broken. you'd already sold your soul for him.

'let me take you home,' he whispered into your hair, picking up his wand.

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original idea posted by - @lilwnet

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

taglist (for series) - @urbansaint

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

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