#if I had to do those scenes I too would visibly flinch at the mention
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mazzystar24 · 4 days ago
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Will never be over Oliver’s face whenever BT is mentioned
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This face was after the interviewer said he hopes that bt are just on pause and will get back together:
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Mama you’re an actor I feel like you should be able to control your face
How Oliver stark felt filming 8x06:
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softersalt · 1 year ago
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Thoughts it is, while the parts that stood out are all still in my head. No particular order to this except as I remember the things mentioned below:
There was a Greek chorus type set of people in the background who formed a kind of mob at the beginning but otherwise mostly just responded to soliloquies as an audience. Not too much to say on them except that I enjoyed that none of the characters acknowledged them except Iago, who would touch them to get attention and had them all performing in concert when responding to him, like an extension of his narcissism, where there would be more variation in reactions when other characters spoke.
I wasn't sure how I'd feel about Emilia being a battered wife, but they pulled it off. Generally, my instinct is to find it unlikely that Iago is the sort to leave any visible marks/get a kick out of physical harm enough to run the risk, but I see the very clear mark on her face and immediately get set to thinking of what it implies about the society around them that no one will comment on anything.
I suspect the above was helped by the fact that they didn't just leave it at the mark on her face and the way she starts to break down in the last act when speaking of how husbands may strike their wives. It wasn't anything major, but she had slight flinches and tenses when she was touched from behind or by Iago. At one point, Cassio bows to kiss her hand (in gratitude), and she startles and looks behind her nervously.
Actually, minor point, but I kind of loved that moment both for her anxiety and for the demonstration of his courtesy and manners extending to all of the women. Just a good visual demonstration of what was already asserted.
I also appreciated that Iago could be quite affectionate with Emilia. There were at least three kisses that I remember. I'd be disappointed if the displays of affection were left out of a relationship simply because it was abusive, but I also somehow don't expect better.
I half forgot that Roderigo existed for around an act, so when he showed back up and Iago insisted he had been pressing the suit consistenly, I laughed aloud.
I did not laugh at Iago as much as I do when reading the play, but I was also far more frustrated with the whole situation. Can't say for sure if that's a result of this production in particular or what would happen if I watched any performance rather than just reading it.
But I did laugh at Roderigo's death, which I always have. I laugh in a very "oh, everything is going to hell" sort of way of course, but Iago switching emotions twice in such rapid succession never fails to amuse me.
Also, of course, a little laughter for every "honest Iago"
Othello grabs Desdemona by the throat rather than slapping her when the men first come from Venice. I don't know if that's a pretty common staging, but I know I physically leaned forward in response to the mirroring of her death.
Speaking of mirroring, I found that I could pick up on when motifs were echoed in the text more easily when they spoke them here than when they were written. Again, I don't know if that's a feature of this particular production or if I'd find the same to be true across all plays that I watched rather than read.
Desdemona was... angrier than I expected? Never in a way that felt at all unreasonable or even out of character, but when she opposes Othello, she argues with heat, where my instinct has always been to read her protests more as pleading for him to listen. It was a good way of getting my attention to focus on her as much as on him during those scenes.
I'm really not very good with faces, especially before I've had enough time with them to lock them in my mind, so I'm still not certain if, in the scene where Cassio is drunk, he is kissed by a man and shoves him off or if two background soldiers kiss each other (or, as thought by the person I watched this with, if Cassio just kisses a man happily if drunkenly).
I assume the numbers on sleeves were because almost everyone is deeply ingrained in the military, especially since I didn't see them on the clothes of Desdemona and Roderigo.
Somehow, Desdemona's death managed to creep up on me, probably as a result of her protesting her case rather firmly when I had always read it with more panic.
Also, I had tears in my eyes when Othello kisses her sleeping form. I don't know why, given that I reread that part, from the beginning of the scene until her death, more than any other.
All in all, a very good production, inasmuch as I can tell. I'm probably leaving out things that will come back to me later or that seemed incredibly important at the time, so maybe I'll add to this, maybe not.
Finished watching Othello. Did love it. Might throw out thoughts later.
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ssplague · 3 years ago
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Bully Bakugou Part 3
(needathinkofapropertitleforthisshit)
⛔️ Trigger warnings: Bullying, Yandere, mentions of violence, abuse, manipulation, forced relationship, NONCON, dysfunctional completely fucked up family
Your emotions continue remaining ever conflicted as you go about spending this three day weekend with the Bakugou family. As your time with them draws to a close; Self loathing is at an all time high once you realize that under different circumstances you may have actually enjoyed yourself?
Honorable mentions: @rainstorm22 @angie-1306 @lordmypantsaresocool @bi-polar-pandas @lizethcookie01 @po3ticb3auty @presidentmonica @winchescumberholland @marifujioka
(Leave a single ❤️‍🔥 or 💥 in the comments to be added to the tag list)
🧼🥣🚰
In a house that was notoriously known for being excessively loud, it was surprising that all you could currently hear is a running faucet and the occasional clink of dishes being dried and put away.
The scene of a mother and son doing something so domestic would warm the average person’s heart. The scene playing out in the kitchen of the Bakugou household might make that same average person’s hair stand on end.
Mitsuki Bakugou’s genes must be as dominant as her personality, because her son looks like the spitting image of her. Both of them are sporting an identical grimace, both exuding an air of hostility.
“You certainly know how to pick them….” she begins as she holds another plate under the much too hot water.
“The fuck’s that mean?” The boy snaps in response, drying the bowl he held much too tightly.
“It fuckin’ means that you managed to get ahold of a proper girlfriend..,Last one” she hands him the final clean plate “We like her a lot, your father and I”. Katsuki doesn’t respond to her right away, he finishes drying the plate and turns to put it in a cupboard.
“I can see why you refused to let her go…”
The cabinet door slams shut and he whirls around, his heart races and he stares back at his mother with fear in his identical red eyes. He visibly relaxes once he notices the knowing smile she’s giving him.
“I went through a similar situation with your father, you know? Sometimes the other person needs a bit of…persuasion and a push to see the great big perfect picture of how their life will be with you” Mitsuki pauses to sigh dreamily, a frightening love sick expression crosses her face and clouds her eyes.
Katsuki doesn’t even flinch, he’s seen the same look on his own face when he thinks about you.
“It made me…It made me really pissed off when she left me…then all those stupid extra’s had to get in her and I’s fuckin’ business and it got so much worse…” his hands balled up into fists at the memory, truth be told he was still quite upset over this.
Katsuki didn’t consider his mother good for very much, but at this moment he found himself somewhat opening up to her. Finally someone else that seemed to understand what his internal struggle was like. This is also one of the rare occasions in which she seemed to be taking him seriously, but he didn’t want to leave you unattended for too long.
“They’re fine”
His mother seemed to have read his mind as she had moved across the room to peek through the blinds. You and Masaru seemed to be comfortable with each other; She noticed her husband’s goofy smile as you spoke to him, occasionally waving your hands or mimicking an explosion as you went on.
You’ll fit in just fine with this family.
Mitsuki couldn’t stop the upturn of her lips as she felt something akin to relief.
Which quickly turned to slight annoyance as Katsuki bumped into her so he too could spy on you and his father.
The apple certainly doesn’t fall far from the tree.
🍎🌳🍏
It had to be at least 4 if not 5 in the morning by now. You felt like you were in limbo as your eyes traced the square ceiling above you. Thank god you were left to your thoughts, the blonde beast snoring surprisingly softly behind you. The grip he had on your middle was far too tight and his natural body heat was sweltering to a point it was making you nauseous.
“Y/N”
Your body instantly stiffened
“Don’t go so far….s’dangerous”
He must be dreaming, of course he’s chasing you down even while he slept.
Today you’d finally get to leave the house of Bakugou, and you couldn’t be happier. If the circumstances were different, maybe you could have enjoyed this experience. Looking back on the previous day’s events made you feel bad….because you couldn’t lie to yourself, you’d had a good time.
Mitsuki seemed to take to you almost instantly, which you were incredibly relieved over (It was obvious that she had an undeniable mean streak in her if directed towards those she dislikes). On your second day here, she had snatched you from Katsuki’s clutches; “This is girl’s time, no brats allowed!” She’d sneered as she ushered you outside and into an expensive looking SUV.
You weren’t entirely sure what to say or do In this situation…
“I’m sorry I kinda just sprung this on ya, but if I hadn’t I already know he would have thrown a damn fit over it” Mitsuki explains as she smoothly maneuvers the car onto a Main Street. She doesn’t wait for your response and continues “I thought it would be a nice way for the two of us to get to know each other”.
Now she looks at you, waiting for your response. You don’t miss a beat, quick to reply;
“I would like that a lot”
You smile, eyes sparkling with sincerity.
Katsuki has trained you well.
Another 15 minutes pass before you pull into a small parking lot. This is a side of town you’d never seen before; Small trendy boutiques lined both sides of the street, good looking people could be seen in all directions, either laden with shopping bags, or seated at the couple cafes and restaurants mixed in between shops.
“Something wrong?”
You abruptly snap out of the daze you’d been in at the sound of your companion’s voice.
“Oh no! Nothing is wrong…I’ve just never been here before!” You stammer in embarrassment. A smirk appears on the older woman’s face as the two of you start walking towards the bustling street.
“I didnt think you would have, so that’s why I wanted to bring you here for our first outing together!” the excitement she seems to be exuding is infectious and you can’t help but feel happy as you walk beside her.
“Everyone likes shopping, but this is the place you come to for the good stuff”
Your mood plummets immediately.
All of these places look super expensive and fancy…
“Umm…It’s embarrassing to admit but I don’t think I could ever afford anything here!” You do your best to laugh off the humiliating feeling accompanying your confession.
Mitsuki stops abruptly and gives you an odd look and then she starts cackling, “You thought I was going to make you pay for your own things?! Oh that’s fuckin’ hilarious! You should have seen your face”. She laughs some more and earns a few bewildered stares from onlookers “I’m sorry honey, I shouldn’t be laughing at you but that was a good one”.
“You really don’t have to do this for me! I could never repay you for all of this!”
You can’t help but wince at seeing the total displayed on the store’s IPad.
You were already carrying three large shopping bags filled to the brim with a wide assortment of things.
“Of Course I don’t have to, I WANT to!” Says the older woman as she finished her signature on the touch screen.
You can’t understand this at all, and it must show on your face as you follow her out of the shop and back onto the sidewalk.
“Let’s get something to eat and we’ll talk alright?” She doesn’t seem bothered by your confusion or over appreciation. You don’t want to make her upset, so you nod dumbly and trail after the older woman.
Deciding what you want to eat, you place your order with the overly friendly waiter. Now seems like an appropriate time to check the phone you’d forgotten you had all this time.
It pings as soon as you pull it out of your new handbag.
“Oh I bet he’s been blowing your phone up hasn’t he?”
Rather than verbally respond, you turn the screen to face her so she can see the multiple alerts lighting up across the screen, all from one person in particular.
A low whistle slips past her lips at the sea of notifications.
📨📲💥
“THIS IS BULLSHIT!”
Masaru Bakugou cringes upon hearing his son bellowing, followed by the front door slamming shut so hard it rattled the walls. He’d rather not have his wife come home after her outing with you to the house in complete shambles. Which is exactly what would inevitably happen if he doesn’t go reign in the Tasmania devil that is Katsuki.
“C’mon now son…Your mother just wants to get to know y/n better, that girl is obviously a big part of your life now right? So wouldn’t it be ideal for the two of them to bond some?”
If looks could kill his son surely would have put him six feet under with the expression he wore right now. Masaru has seen this exact same look countless times on the face of his wife. The only difference in seeing Katsuki sporting it, being the inability to stir up the spine tingling fear that his mother is so easily capable of summoning.
“That old bat is just wanting to get under my skin that’s all” Katsuki sneers as he drops down on the larger of the two couches occupying the living room. Surprisingly, the young man doesn’t even release a growl of frustration when his father comes to sit across from him on the smaller loveseat.
“I know that you uh…When I’d asked you about how you and mom ended up together, you said she was persistent and you were a pushover”
Masaru let’s out an audible sigh, that is not at all what he had said.
Katsuki ignores it and continues,
“I need to know what I have to do to make her stay”.
“I’m sorry”
“Me too”
He couldn’t save himself, but he was at least going to try to help you.
Keyword here being: TRY
For over two hours he’d done his best to reason with, and explain what a loving, healthy, relationship should be like to Katsuki.
Basically everything that himself and Mitsuki were not
Katsuki seemed receptive, he at least looked like he was paying attention.
Masaru really believed he made progress on correcting this warped state of mind his son had when it came to love.
When the boy did finally say something, that fleeting feeling of hopefulness was instantly replaced with hopelessness.
“So how long exactly did it take mom to wear you down?”
He’d failed you.
🍽🧏🏼‍♀️
“So you really gave up your career as a famous model when you found out you were pregnant??? Not only that but, once retired immediately started your own clothing brand? That’s really incredible!” You were absolutely floored you weren’t aware of any of this information until the woman herself laid it all out for you.
“Back before I decided to become a hero, I always wanted to do both those things…I used to do shoots with my friends for their photography classes, I made all the cosplay outfits I wore myself, Id even made a few different pieces of clothing as well”. Unfortunately in the last couple years both hobbies have fallen to the wayside, you frowned at the thought but abruptly pushed those feelings aside, “I’m sorry I started rambling I-“.
“Never apologize for talking about things you’re passionate about! You are obviously a talented girl, I’d love to see those pictures you were talking about, you’ll have to show me”
You weren’t even upset she cut you off, as the older woman patted your hand after doing so.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my son too death, he’s busted his ass to become the best, hell he was practically born a winner…and I’m more proud of him than words alone could describe…” she pauses momentarily, looking like she’s mulling something over.
Before you could ask what, she speaks again “I wanted more children than just Katsuki, I’d especially always wanted a daughter…but it’s just…well long story short, it just wasn’t meant to happen”.
Now all of today suddenly makes sense.
It’s for the best…
Walking back towards the car you couldn’t stop expressing your gratitude for all the shopping bags currently weighing you down.
“Sheesh it’s almost like no one has ever bought you something before with how thankful you’re being!” She says this with a mocking sigh of exasperation as she opens the trunk for you.
“I’m sorry for saying thank you so much I don’t mean to be annoying I just-“ you pause to make sure the trunk latches properly “Really want you to know I’m nothing but appreciative for not just the material things but.. I enjoyed getting to know you personally Mrs. Bakugou”.
“Oi what did I say about calling me Mrs? Making me feel old n’ shit”
“Ah that’s right…Sorry…Mom”
That was a bold move on your part, but you knew it was the right one to make.
The most genuine, dazzling, not mean spirited smile you’ve seen her wear all day is flashed your way. She starts the car and before backing out mumbles “That’s more like it”.
Katsuki taught you well.
🛍
Hearing the front door open, Katsuki springs up from the couch and starts in; “Jesus Christ! What the hell were you doing for five fuckin’ hours?!”.
He notices you showing his mother your phone excitedly, well you were…As soon as you felt the anger radiating off him you locked your screen and stared down at your feet.
“Oh shut up, you can have her back now ya cry baby” Mitsuki says with a roll of her eyes, “Where’s your dad?”.
“Upstairs” Katsuki says curtly, eyes remaining locked on you as his mother moves past him. Which kept him from seeing then dodging the slap aimed to his head. “Help her with her bags idiot” she sneered while starting to walk up the stair case.
Suddenly pausing for a second and calling down to you
“Send me the link so I can see the rest of those pictures”
“I will!”
“Don’t forget!”
“I won’t….Thank you again for today!”
She smiles at you, then flips off Katsuki as she reaches the top of the stairs.
“Are you mad at me?”
You’re automatically disgusted by how timid you sound as you sit down on the bed.
“Mad at you?” He pauses peeking into the various shopping bags now taking up a corner of his room, “Why would I be?”.
Well that’s a relief.
“S’not like you had a say so in all that, she wasn’t mean to you right?” He stands up and stalks over to, hands stuffed in his pockets. You started panicking, quick to extinguish a fire before it could even start; “No not at all! She was so nice, I had a really great time with her!”.
Katsuki studies you for another minute before staring at the floor and mumbling, “She likes you a lot…pops does too”. Part of you hates that being accepted by his parents makes you feel as good as it does, the smile you wear is authentic. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before adding “That makes me happy”.
Why should you care what makes him happy?
At one point in time you adored the young man in front of you, even when you were just his friend that quickly developed a crush on him. Then you got into a relationship and even then he wasn’t that bad, but after you had sex that first time he became a fucking monster practically over night!
A monster…
A monster that put hands on more than one of your male friends.
A monster that isolated you.
A monster that brought you to this same house and kept you secured to a bed for a week of summer break.
A monster that stalked, harassed, and even technically raped you…
Now he wants to pretend you two are a normal couple? Like you weren’t forced to accompany him on this three day weekend in the first place…
“It makes me happy that two other important people in my life think you are as amazing as I do”.
You keep that same smile in place, hoping your eyes don’t give away the sea of woe in which you are currently drowning.
It’s for the best…
“Katsuki please…” you beg, attempting to keep your voice down “I dont want your parents to hear us”.
“Princess c’mon…I missed you all fuckin’ day…” Katsuki growls as you attempt to push his hands away.
He gets tired of your fussing fairly quickly, taking hold of both your wrists in one hand.
“Be good for me baby and I’ll make this more than good for you” he trails kisses down your neck while the other hand struggles to remove your undergarments.
You whimper in surprise as his cock immediate presses against your folds. “Shhhh s’okay baby I got you” he coos softly in your ear, mistaking your shock for desire.
He pauses his advance, replacing his cock with a finger. Sliding it up your slit and bringing it up to his face for inspection, “You’re dry” his tone a mixture of both accusatory and irritated.
Of course you are, you were uncomfortable! Bakugou was normally over zealous with foreplay, so much so that pleasure had often shifted into over stimulating torture.
This wasn’t one of those times apparently…
The sudden sound of him spitting made you cringe. You didn’t feel it hit your skin, but then he did it again and you felt it seep through your folds.
You can’t help but cringe at the grossness of the situation.
“Oh stop, must have gotten used to always being spoiled hah?” He smirks down at you, taking your chin in his hand “Let me have some fun for once princess…been wanting you for days I’m not waiting tonight”.
The stretch always burns when he enters you and he isn’t slow this time.
Slamming inside of you, his eyes close and he groans as you notice his whole body tremble for a second.
“I love fuckin’ this perfect princess cunt, s’the best there is and it’s all MINE!”
Spots swirl across your vision as your head bounces off his headboard for the umpteenth time. You hated how your body reacts toward him; Legs wrapped around his waist and arms reaching out to pull him closer.
“Always sucking me in, greedy girl…You don’t even have to say it, I know what you want”.
You can still feel his cum inside you, not all of it has seeped out to run down your legs and coat the inside of your thighs. As you lay there with Katsuki in his childhood bed you can’t help but berate yourself for thinking things might ever have the possibility of getting better.
Then again, your own family has never showed even a fraction of interest in you like these three have…
Your mother never sporadically took off with you somewhere to spend time together. Your own father never sat outside and talked with you after he got home from work….They favored your younger sibling, and you were never good enough to hold their attention.
Rolling over to face Katsuki, you take a moment to appreciate seeing him in this rare moment of relaxation. His even breathing tickles your face with every exhale, and you can’t help but notice the corner of his lips twitching upward as he begins to smile in his sleep.
“It makes me happy that two other important people in my life think you are as amazing as I do”
“Amazing huh? Guess I’ll never understand why or how you of all people think so highly of me” you whispered, finally accepting the warmth of his embrace In attempts to comfort yourself. The sun has just begun to slightly peek through the blinds as your eyes close, and as you drift off, you once again find yourself thinking;
It’s for the best….
A/N: I figured out that I really really enjoy writing Mitsuki 🥰 So many people like to cast her in this god awful light, but I can’t do that! Maybe because she reminds me so much of my own mom (minus the hitting) 😅 I hope you guys will continue to give me your opinions and more of what you want to see happening next. I’m really tempted to just include the whole fucked up family dynamic throughout the entire story. Of course your relationship with Katsuki will be the most important, but I love the idea of what a potential nightmare Yandere Bakugou family could be.
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daughter-of-melpomene · 2 years ago
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they start analyzing everything to guess if it's romantic or not + eli and spencer!! <3
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Loreid (Eli Logan + Spencer Reid).
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: They start analyzing everything to guess if it's romantic or not from What Are We? Moment Prompts.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Mentions of murder and death (typical Criminal Minds stuff), swearing.
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: Featuring autistic Spencer (because he is, fight me) and Eli’s feelings realization!
(𝐀/𝐍: 𝐀𝐇𝐇𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐎 𝐌𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒, 𝐊𝐄𝐈! 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬!!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐘 𝐎𝐍 edge for a solid hour now, and Eli was starting to get worried. From his vantage point a few feet away, watching Spencer stand next to Hotch as he spoke to a local cop, Eli found himself watching the young genius intently, only half-listening to Morgan as the muscular man dirty-talked Garcia on the phone beside him.
He didn’t imagine Spencer could have been nervous about this case. It was a quadruple murder in upstate New York, with all four female victims having had their throats slashed with what looked like a carving knife and their hair, which could be proven to have been long before they’d been killed, roughly hacked off. It wasn’t pleasant by any means, that was for sure, but they’d handled much worse than this without Spencer ever showing signs of emotional distress. What could have been different about this case?
It only took another minute of watching for Eli to realize that it wasn’t the case he needed to worry about. Spencer didn’t even flinch when the cop Hotch was talking to mentioned the blood spatter analysis from the newest crime scene, but that was because he was staring off into space, seemingly not focusing on anything. He was rocking back and forth on his heels, so slightly that nobody who wasn’t looking as closely as Eli was would never have noticed, and his hands were clenched into tight fists, likely trying to stop himself from flapping.
Oh. So that was what this was.
Well, now he knew that Spencer’s distress was something to do with his autism, but what was he supposed to do about it? This wasn’t the first time Spencer had gotten overwhelmed on a case, but the solution to the problem tended to be different every time, and sometimes he didn’t even want or need anybody to help. Was this one of those times? Or was he just trying to tough it out and ignore the discomfort he was clearly feeling?
Seeing how obviously Spencer was trying to hide his stimming from Hotch and the cop, Eli suspected this time was the latter. But he didn’t want to make Spencer uncomfortable by bringing it up, so he resolved to simply keep an eye on the doctor and see if anything got worse.
It wasn’t even twenty minutes before Spencer came up to him.
After thoroughly reviewing the crime scene, the team decided to head back to their hotel and talk everything out in the morning. Eli was heading towards the lobby elevator, rubbing his tired eyes and more than ready to fall into bed, when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder and turned around to see the very man he’d been worrying about for most of the night.
Spencer was clearly doing worse than he had been when Eli first noticed his discomfort, and Eli’s heart almost melted at the sight. The other man was resolutely not making eye contact, his eyes fixed on a point just over Eli’s left shoulder, and he was no longer trying to prevent his hands from moving. They hung by his sides, flicking out every few seconds and visibly twitching whenever they were briefly still.
“Hey, Spence,” Eli greeted quietly, not wanting to speak too loudly in case this was one of those times when Spencer’s hearing was sensitive. “What’s up?”
“I, um..” Spencer started, then broke himself off and lowered his head into his own shoulder, rubbing his ear against it a few times before raising his head again.
Eli winced in sympathy. “Bad Brain Day?”
Spencer nodded.
“What do you need?”
Looking so comically shy that it took a lot out of Eli not to laugh, the young genius nervously held his arms out, clearly asking for a hug.
Without hesitation, Eli stepped forward and firmly wrapped his arms around the other man. Spencer immediately laced his arms around Eli’s shoulders, squeezing hard like Eli was the only thing holding him together. His chin came to rest on the top of Eli’s head, and the shorter man couldn’t hold back a smile; Spencer sometimes seemed so fragile and young that it was easy to forget that he was a full four inches taller than Eli himself.
The two of them stayed like that for several minutes, ignoring the weird looks that the staff at the hotel’s front desk were shooting them, until finally, Spencer loosened his grip, indicating that he was finished with the physical contact. Eli immediately pulled away, taking a step back.
“Thanks,” Spencer mumbled, long fingers moving to fiddle with the ends of his sleeves now that they weren’t clutching Eli’s t-shirt. “I kinda needed that.”
“Anytime,” Eli replied firmly, meaning it. “Get some sleep, okay? Hopefully you feel better in the morning.”
Managing to make a brief second of eye contact with Eli, Spencer gave a shy nod in response and, after a moment of hesitation, headed off to the elevator.
༊*·˚ ༊*·˚ ༊*·˚
It wasn’t until Eli was safely in his hotel room and standing under a showerhead with terrible water pressure that he actually started considering what had just happened.
Again, this wasn’t the first time Spencer had had a Bad Brain Day while they were on a case, and it wasn’t the first time he had been the one to offer the other man comfort, but this was the first time that Spencer had actually come to him and asked for it. Why? If it was the pressure of a strong hug he’d needed, he could always have asked Morgan; God knew that they beefy man’s big muscles would have provided more strength behind the hug than Eli could offer, and he wouldn’t have refused a hug if it would help his pretty boy. What had been going on in Spencer’s head to make him to go Eli for comfort, rather than anyone else?
Okay, why am I thinking about this so much? Eli asked himself irritably as he crawled under the crappy white covers of his hotel bed and willed himself to sleep. Spencer was struggling, he needed a pressure stim, I gave it to him, and hopefully he’ll be a little better off tomorrow. That’s it. End of story.
Except it was clearly not the end of the story, because Eli found himself unable to stop analyzing that moment for the rest of the time they were on that case.
And three days later, when they finally caught the unsub and were flying home and Eli felt his stomach flutter watching Spencer laugh at something JJ had said, that he finally realized exactly why he’d been analyzing it so much.
Oh, he thought numbly as this revelation washed over him. I have feelings for Spencer. I guess that explains that.
Fuck. What do I do now?
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(𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐬𝐨 ����𝐚𝐝, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 😂)
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mochegato · 3 years ago
Text
Even the Losers
Chapter 7
Chapter 1     Chapter 6
Marinette rubbed her head as though the action might actually have an effect on her throbbing headache.  It hadn’t any time she’d tried it in the last hour, but it gave her brain the illusion that she was doing something to help other than just waiting for the painkillers to kick in.  The action also gave her something to focus on other than the pounding hangover from not getting nearly drunk enough last night.  Because somehow despite the massive amounts she, Jason, and Roy had drunk last night, all of her problems still existed.  Utter bullshit, that.  And now she still had to deal with all her problems and felt like crap on top of it.  Double bullshit.
She adjusted her sunglasses again, fighting the urge to squint because squinting hurt.  Although honestly, she wasn’t sure which hurt more, the florescent lights, the sunlight beaming through the hotel windows, or squinting.  She was sure there was some way to settle the glasses on her face to block out all light, she just hadn’t been able to figure it out.  She now realized why people significantly smarter than her wore those godawful, ugly glasses that wrap around their head and cut out all sun.
She took a deep breath and braced herself for the full blast of a suspiciously sunny Gotham morning. Gotham has like three sunny days a year and one of them is today?  What the Hell did she do to Tikki to deserve the last few days?  She wandered out of the hotel still contemplating revenge. How does one get revenge against a god anyway?  How many ways can she destroy cookies?
She didn’t get more than a few steps before she sensed someone in front of her.  She weaved slightly to the left but quickly realized there was someone there too.  She weaved to the right and finally looked up when she realized there was someone there. There were people all around her, taking pictures of her, shoving phones in her face as they yelled questions at her.
She stumbled back a few steps and blinked at the group of reporters that had apparently been camping out in front of the hotel for her.  She quickly plastered on one of Adrien’s patented PR smiles and nodded to them. She tried to push through them, expecting them to move out of her way, as they did in Paris for Adrien.  But reporters in Gotham clearly did not show the same respect that Parisian reporters did because none of them moved out of her way.  
Her smile strained slightly as she looked to the one in front of her.  “Excuse me, please,” she requested in the most sickeningly sweet voice she could manage.
The reporter sent back an excited smile.  “Ms. Dupain Cheng, would you care to comment on your relationship with your family? Perhaps explain why Gotham hadn’t had the pleasure of your presence before?”
Marinette looked the reporter up and down.  She looked at the group surrounding her, noting how they had closed the circle to the point of touching her.  She’d been to raves with more personal space.  She moved to push through a small gap between reporters, but stopped when they quickly closed the gap.  Marinette gritted her teeth and widened her smile.  “There’s a reason we’ve chosen not to speak about this and that reason was NOT to discuss it in an exclusive with you at this exact moment.  Now if you will excuse me, I would very, very much like to get some coffee.  I’m sure you can understand the difficulty of starting a day without it.”
She gave them a conspiratorial smile, hoping if they felt like they were in on the joke they would let her through. Instead, her response emboldened the reporters, who started shouting out her name and more questions.
“Will you attend more Wayne functions now?”
Marinette didn’t even know which reporter shouted the question to address them if she wanted.  She huffed and decided to give up on pleasantries.  She was hung over.  She was hungry.  She wanted coffee.  “Why would people change a relationship that doesn’t involve you because you know about it?” she grunted as she tried to push through the cracks between people.  
The reporters closed ranks tighter around her, making it impossible for her to break through without injuring someone, which she was sure was the plan of at least a few of them.  Whether it was to get a more salacious story or to sue Bruce Wayne, she wasn’t sure.  Probably both.  She looked back to the hotel lobby hoping the concierge would see her predicament and help her, but he was determinedly ignoring the scene in front of the hotel.
She set her jaw and prepared herself to create a scene channeling her best imitation of an irate Chloe Bourgeoisie.  She’d deal with the fallout later.  Right now, she needed to get out of this situation before someone actually did push a little too hard and tiny gods decided to curse the city.  She opened her mouth to yell but instead heard someone else’s voice boom through the crowd.
“I think my sister told you to leave her the fuck alone.”
Marinette looked around to try to find the source of the voice but couldn’t see past the wall of reporters.  She didn’t have to wait long for him to push his way through the crowd like a wrecking ball, not worrying about injuring anyone as he shoved his way through.  Jason stopped in front of her with a smirk.  “She just says it in a much more polite way than I do.”  He held up a bag and a tray of coffee.  “I come bearing gifts so you don’t have to deal with this shit out there somewhere.”  
Marinette shot him a grateful smile and turned back toward the hotel.  “That sounds brilliant.  Thank you.”
Jason winked at her.  “I got you.”
They didn’t stop or even look at each other until the elevator doors closed behind them.  Marinette leaned against the wall and finally took a full breath.  She looked over to Jason with another grateful smile.  “Thank you. I wasn’t expecting that and I…” She looked down for a moment to collect her thoughts.  “I wasn’t prepared.  I’ll do better next time.”
Jason’s eyes softened.  The press was a lot for all of them to get used to.  None of them had taken naturally to it, especially Gotham’s press.  They at least had the advantage of starting young and knowing what to expect, not to mention since they were kids, the press didn’t have a lot of chances to get to them.  Marinette had just been thrown out there without a life preserver.  Bruce didn’t even send any guards.  “Don’t worry about it.  I thought you could use the save.”
Marinette laughed and narrowed her eyes at him.  “That was a socially acceptable version of a kidnapping.  I had no way of getting out of that without exposing that there is no relationship.”
“Should have just exposed it then,” he shrugged, not remotely nonplussed by her comment.  “I just thought you could use some sustenance after last night.”  He held up the bag for her as they exited the elevator and made their way to her room.  “I know you must be used to fancy French food so I got a variety of food from the best bakery in town.  And I didn’t know how you take your coffee or if you prefer tea so I got both and lots of sugar and creamer.”
Marinette giggled as she opened her door.  “You’re not wrong.  My parents owned a patisserie.  I grew up on the best baked goods in France.”
Jason blinked a few times at her before setting the drinks and food on the coffee table.  “That’s it, next family reunion is at your place.”
“Not so sure that’s going to be a thing,” she said quietly.  She reached for one of the croissants and ripped off a small piece, popping it in her mouth.  “Not really sure I count as family.  That’s kind of been made clear.”
“Yeah well, we didn’t know and we’d like to get to know you, if you’re okay with it,” he said biting off a chunk of cheese Danish. “Look, I’m not looking for family dinners and brunches and shit, I just… want to make sure you’re okay.”  He looked up at her earnestly for a moment before his eyes turned mischievous.  “Although if you grew up in a bakery, I might want all that at your parents’ place.”
“At least you’re asking.  That’s something anyway,” she grumbled as she took another small bite.  
“Speaking of family, where is model boy?”
Marinette puckered her lips in disapproval as she watched the crumbs fall from Jason’s mouth as he spoke.  She looked away before she snapped at him.  “He and Max went apartment hunting.”
“Without you?” Jason asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Neither of them were suffering from a raging hangover that took double the normal dosage of painkillers just to take the edge off of,” she said pointedly.
“Coffee,” Jason grunted, motioning toward the coffee. “Lots of coffee and food and water.” He pushed the bag toward her. “Not the bird bites you’ve been taking.”
She studied the croissant in front of her with a furrowed brow as though it had some kind of answers for her.  She nearly dropped it when she heard a knock on the door. She looked through the peephole and gasped, flinching back from the door.  Jason immediately jumped up and ran over to her.  “What is it?  Another reporter?”
“No,” Marinette rasped out, her eyes never leaving the door.  “Worse.” Her heart started racing and her breathing became labored.  She wasn’t ready for this.  She wasn’t ready to speak with him.  What was she supposed to say?  How was she supposed to speak with him?  She didn’t even know how she felt yet.  She hadn’t sorted through this all yet.  Tears threatened to fall from her eyes.  She wasn’t ready.  This was happening too fast.
She flinched visibly when he knocked again. He’d had time to prepare.  He’d had time to think this through.  He knew how he felt about this.  He’d had time to plan and prepare.  She had none of that and here he was on her doorstep.  He knew about her and she knew nothing about him. He was ready and she wasn’t given that chance.  
She was just expected to deal with it.  She was just expected to handle it.  She was just expected to accept it.  He’d created this entire situation and she was left to pick up the pieces and move on.  And now he was here.  He was on her figurative doorstep in person and now she had to deal with it, on his timetable, according to his preference, because yet again it all had to be done on his terms.  Her preferences didn’t matter.  Her feelings didn’t matter.  Her opinion didn’t matter.
“Want me to kick their ass out?” Jason offered already reaching for the handle.
Marinette shook her head and let out a calming breath. He thinks he can come in after twenty years gone and act like everything is fine and expect her to play nice, he has another thing coming.  He wanted a detached relationship?  She could do that.  She’d seen it enough growing up with Adrien and Chloe’s parents.  She knew how to play the game.
She shook her hands to get the tension out before finally reaching out to open the door.  “Mr. Wayne.  This is an unexpected pl… experience,” she stuttered.  She mentally grimaced.  She was showing weakness.  She needed to be strong.  She plastered on a clearly fake smile.  She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being weak.  She wouldn’t cry for him.  She hadn’t cried because of him in the twenty years he’d been absent, she wouldn’t do it now.
Bruce took a breath.  “Marinette…”  He froze for a second.  He hadn’t thought hard enough about this.  He knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to tell her, but he hadn’t thought about how to tell her, how to lead into it.  “I was hoping to speak with you,” he rushed out, wincing internally at the sound of it.
“Well, that’s a first,” she scoffed before she could stop herself.  She slapped her hand over her mouth and mentally berated herself.  What was she doing?  She was supposed to be calm not cruel.  She was losing this game!
Jason grinned and propped his arms behind his head as he kicked out his legs, the very picture of relaxed.  “I like her.  I’m keeping her.”
Marinette shot him an appreciative smile but Bruce did a double take, frowning at the sight.  His mind raced as to what it meant that Jason was there.  Was it good?  It was good, wasn’t it?  She was getting close to one of her brothers already.  But that brother was Jason, and despite the fact that he loved Jason, he was well aware their relationship was still contentious at best.  Not exactly the best brother for her to get close to. And he was already encouraging her hostility against him.  Not that he didn’t deserve it, he knew he did, it was just that any of the other brothers would help mitigate that hostility.  Jason would fan it.  “Jason, what are you doing here?”
“Brought baked goods and coffee,” he answered casually, a smirk making its way onto his face.  “You?”
Bruce let out a heavy sigh through his nose and smoothed out his face.  Getting annoyed now would do nothing for his goal.  If Marinette was connecting to Jason, getting frustrated with him would just push her further away.  “As I mentioned, I was hoping I could speak with Marinette about the… situation.  I wanted…”
“‘The situation’,” Jason mocked shaking his head at Bruce.  God was he always this bad with his kids?  He thought it was just him.  “Way to sound sincere, B.”
Bruce’s lips pursed until they were no longer visible. He didn’t need Jason sabotaging him right now.  He was doing a good enough job of it on his own.  “I’d like to speak with Marinette on our own, please.  Why don’t you go home?”
Marinette’s eyes went wide and her chest clenched. She didn't want Jason to leave.  She wasn't ready for Jason to leave.  Once Jason left it was just her and him.  Just thinking about it suddenly she couldn't breathe.  Suddenly the air felt too thin and too heavy at the same time.  No.  She needed somebody else here.  
Jason shot a look over to Marinette, letting his eyes pass over Marinette like he hadn’t been noting her body language.  He let his eyes wander for a second before returning to Bruce with a tilt to his head.  “No.  I’m witnessing this, unless Pixie tells me to go home.”
Marinette could have kissed him… on the cheek. Because he was her br… it was complicated.  But she was beyond grateful he had spoken up for her.  She let out the breath she’d been holding and raised an eyebrow at him. “Pixie?”
“Small, violent,” Jason grinned at her.
Marinette laughed and playfully narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine, whatever, Goliath.”
Jason leaned back again.  “Oh, no, that one’s already taken.  By a dragon bat, no less.”
Marinette’s face scrunched in confusion.  She tried to search through her Americanisms for what a dragon bat could be.  It had to be a species of bat right?  Maybe? But then again it was American English so for all she knew it could be a flower.  “A what?”
“Jason!” Bruce admonished.  He was really not looking forward to trying to explain what a dragon bat was or how Damian came to be in possession of one.
Jason rose up enough to grab one of the croissants and shove half of it into his mouth before he spoke.  “I’ll introduce you sometime, or Damian will have to actually… which he won’t.  I’ll show you a picture, you seem like the kind of person who likes terrifying animals as long as they’re fuzzy.”
“I… fair,” Marinette conceded easily.
“If I can bring us back to the topic at hand,” Bruce interjected loudly, cutting off any more discussion of dragon bats.
“Family bonding, right?”  Jason cut him off with a pointed look.  “Isn’t that what we were doing?”
Bruce glared at Jason for a few seconds, which did nothing to wipe the smug smirk off his face.  Giving up on Jason, Bruce focused on Marinette.  “At the gala you mentioned you didn’t plan on being in town much longer, leaving today actually.  I was hoping I could convince you to stay a bit longer.”
Marinette examined him with a dour curiosity.  She cocked her head to the side.  “And why might that be?  You don’t need me here to make an announcement that we prefer to keep our relationship private, hence they didn’t know about me.”
Bruce let out a deep sigh.  That was fair.  It was a fair response.  Sabine had warned him she would be suspicious of him.  “This isn’t for the public,” he assured her.
“Isn’t it?”  She blinked a few times at him, her face blank.  “Are you sure?  It feels like it is.”  She turned to Jason.  “Doesn’t it feel like it is to you?”
“It does indeed,” Jason nodded in agreement, keeping eye contact with Bruce as he did.
“Jason…” he started threateningly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, were you relying on me to make fixing your fuck up easier for you?  Wrong kid.  You’re looking for Dick or Tim… actually I wouldn’t rely on Tim for help explaining why being an absentee father isn’t actually that bad.”
“Jason, I think it’s time for you to go home,” Bruce growled.
Marinette straightened up and moved between him and Jason.  She wasn’t going to let him bully Jason for standing up for her.  “I don’t think so.  So far he’s the only member of my family I like.”
“Ooh, you should totally give Cass and Steph and Duke a chance too,” Jason offered with a faked enthusiasm as though the confrontation with Bruce didn’t just happen.  He kept his eyes on Marinette but relished the increasingly frustrated scowl on Bruce’s face as they ignored him.
Marinette nodded.  “I’ll consider it.”
“Oh and Alfred… and I guess Tim too.  He’s a prick but he’s alright I guess,” Jason continued.
Marinette blinked at him.  It was like a never ending list of people.  An ongoing list of people he had taken in after walking away from her.  A long list of people he’d cared about and for without having to be pressured into it by the press.  A mile long list of people he wasn’t pretending to care about.  “How many brothers and sisters do you have?”
“We have a lot,” Jason corrected her.  They were in this together and he’d remind her of that as many times as she needed.  “Alfred isn’t a sibling though.  He’s like a grandfather.”
Marinette paused at that.  She hadn’t considered that.  Another grandfather figure.  Another grandfather that didn’t want anything to do with her.  Sure now Grand-père Roland loved her but for the first fifteen years, he’d known about her and didn’t care.  Maybe it was her.  It had to be her right?  Two grandparents, that isn’t coincidence.  That’s a pattern and the only commonality was her.  She pursed her lips together to focus on something other than the tears welling up behind her eyes.  “Sounds like the kind of person who definitely would have known about me.”
Jason’s eyes widened.  “I… don’t know the answer to that,” he answered slowly.
Marinette nodded, slowly going numb.  “So, what I’m getting from this so far is I have a another grandfather-type figure that knew about me and didn’t feel any kind of interest in me and a ton of people that my father decided were worthy of his love and affection when I wasn’t.  So it isn’t that my father didn’t want to be a father, just that he didn’t want to be my father.”
“That isn’t…” Jason started.  This was going down the wrong path.  He was trying to show her he had her back, not remind her about the pain.  But instead, now Marinette was getting hurt, remembering the pain.  She’d lost her sass and impertinence and now was moving toward hurt.  And she was blaming Alfred.  Alfred was one of the only good things about being a Wayne!
“Jason!  I think it’s time for you to go home.  Now!” Bruce roared.
Marinette contemplated Bruce coldly, numbness consuming her fears and insecurities and morphing into cold, analytic contemplation.  He was blaming Jason.  Her frustration wasn’t because of Jason or anything he said. Her pain wasn’t because of Jason, it was because of him, because of his decisions.  And instead of taking responsibility for it, he was blaming Jason.
Jason blinked a few times, no longer certain of his role in this interaction.  He looked back and forth between Marinette and Bruce, noting Marinette’s hardening features.  She was getting ready for a fight.  He could see it developing, but he wasn’t at all sure Bruce did.  He held up his hands in surrender and sat back down calmly. “I promised I wouldn’t leave unless Pixie asked me to.  I intend to keep my promise to her,” he said calmly.
Bruce glared at him again and faced back to Marinette, a fake smile plastered on.   “As I was saying.  I’d like a chance to get to know you, if you would let me.”
“And how many members of the press did you want to be there when you do?” she inquired sharply.
Bruce sighed and rubbed his forehead.  “That’s not fair.”
Marinette’s mouth dropped and she shook her head at him incredulously.  “Wow. Way to pull the rich, white guy entitlement card. ‘I know everything about this situation has been unbelievably unfair to you, but now I’m being inconvenienced in the mildest way possible and I don’t like it,’” she mocked. She rocked back on her heels and narrowed her eyes at him.  “Rest assured M. Wayne, I do not intend to speak out against you.  Your reputation will not be harmed by me.  Tell the press whatever you want.  I won’t contradict you.  You can relax.”
“Marinette…” he started, unsure of where to go. Everything she had said was so far from the truth, he didn’t know where to start.  Her view of the situation was so skewed, he didn’t know how to put it back on kilter.  His shoulders sagged in defeat.  “This has nothing to do with the press.  I had put plans in motion to get in contact with you before any of this started.  Mr. Fox will confirm that for you if you don’t trust me.  You seem like quite an impressive young lady and I would like to get to know you better, if you’ll give me the chance.”
His tone was contrite and quiet, but Marinette wasn’t done being upset yet.  She wasn’t ready to move on and let go of the anger.  “And if I wasn’t, you would continue to ignore me?  If I was a problem child, if I had social issues, if I couldn’t find a job, you’d continue to treat me like I never existed?  I’ve finally done enough to gain your attention. Oh thank you so much for letting me know.”
“That isn’t what I said,” Bruce rushed to assure her. “I meant to compliment you not say you had to earn my attention.”
Marinette pursed her lips and looked over to Jason. He was looking back at her with sympathetic, concerned eyes.  She let out a long sigh and looked away from them both.  “Look, I meant what I told the press earlier.  I had no intention of you seeing me at the gala.  I had no intention of anyone finding out about me. I didn’t even know there was anything to find out when I made the plan to come here.  And I have no expectation of anything about our relationship changing.”
Bruce perked up slightly, but focused on keeping his body language the same, so she wouldn’t see the difference.  That was an opening; expectation instead of intention. It wasn’t that she intended not to change it, it’s that she didn’t expect it.  “I do,” he assured her, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice, keeping it calm and even.  “I would like to change our relationship.  I would like the chance to explain and try to start to make it up to you.  If you would like to try.  
“If you’re open to it, I can extend your reservation until you are ready to move on, or if you would prefer, you are more than welcome to stay at the manor.  I would love to have you stay with us but I understand that may be overwhelming.  Or, WE has have some flats available, with multiple bedrooms.  You and your friends could stay there for a while.  Your friend is going to need a place to stay while he looks for an apartment, right?
“I’ll leave the choice to you.  Whether we pursue a relationship, if you stay, where you stay; they’re all your choice.  Here,” he handed her a paper with several numbers hand written on it. “These are my numbers; office, home office, cell phone, manor.  You can use any of them to contact me.”
Marinette took the paper impassively.  She squeezed her other hand in an effort to keep the tremble from being too obvious.  “Thank you, M. Wayne.  I will consider your words.”
Bruce nodded, letting the very formal use of his name wash away.  This was still progress.  This was still movement in the right direction, even if it wasn’t as much as he would want.  He knew it could take a long time.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to fix this today.  “Thank you, Marinette.  That’s all I can ask for.  And I’m sorry for ambushing you here.  I tried to call and text you all yesterday to set up a time to talk in person so you could prepare but it seems like your phone was off.”  
He let out a small breath seeing her eyes widen at his admission.  That had to be a good sign.  Maybe he actually said the right thing for once.  He nodded to her and left her to think, hoping Jason would urge her to call. He seemed to want a relationship with her as well.  Hopefully, he would realize this was the best way to get that.
Jason sighed and looked up at her as soon as the door closed behind Bruce.  “How are you feeling?”
“I’m not.  It’s… it’s a lot.  I think I want to be alone,” Marinette said absently staring at the numbers in her hand.
Jason nodded.  “It is.  I understand. If you want to talk, at all, about anything.  About where to drink in town, best burger, anything, give me a call.”  He gently took the paper Bruce had handed her out of hand, letting her decide if she gave it to him or not.  When she let go, he put his number on it as well.  “I only have one number, but now you have it.”
Marinette nodded at him.  “Thank you, Jason.”
Jason hesitated briefly.  “For what it’s worth, if you decide to stay you should take him up on the flat.  The hotel is stupid expensive and WE offers the flat to visiting collaborators all the time, so it’s not like it’s all that special… if you want to avoid being treated special.”
Marinette nodded at his words, barely taking them in as her mind tried to fight the numbing process.  Jason watched her tentatively.  “You look like a hugger,” he said uncertainly.  “Did you… do you want a, um, a hug?”  
Marinette looked over at him and blinked a few times, not sure how to take his words, partly because he seemed unsure of them himself, but partly because things were having a harder time permeating her brain right now.  Jason took her curious look as doubt.  “Oh come on. It’s fine.  I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.  Trust me.  I tell Dick to fuck off enough when he tries to hug me.  I have no problem saying no to hugs I don’t want.  I’m offering because I mean it.”
Marinette blinked a few more times but finally nodded vacantly.  Jason pulled her into a warm, comforting hug.  After a few moments he pulled away.  “It will all be okay.  No matter what you decide, it will all be okay.  And no matter what you decide, I’m here.  Nobody’s replacing you as my sister.  So get ready for some completely inappropriate Christmas presents this year.”
Marinette smiled absently at his joke, her eyes never meeting his.  “Thanks, Jason.”  She leaned against the door after she closed it behind him and slid down it, staring blankly at nothing.  The room felt colder than it was before, but she couldn’t manage to care enough to get up and get a blanket.  She thought there might have been ambient noise going on around her but none of it registered.  Nothing registered.  Not the numbing sensation that was rapidly overtaking her body from her fingers and toes up to her head until she stopped feeling anything.  Not even the point she was staring at.  She didn’t know how long she stared at the nothingness before black overtook her vision and she passed out.
Chapter 8
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digitalfairyyy · 3 years ago
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Never Letting You Out Of My Sight
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Summary: Fighting for the butcher army has its pros and its cons
Warnings: angst with some fluff sprinkled in, mentions of blood, hinted past abuse, choking, flinching
Pronouns: genderneutral
Note: I might write another part to this but who knows
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Art by Jessica Oyhenart
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The stars twinkled in the sky while you stood at your chest, organizing your supplies, pictures of ham and bacon hanging on the walls reminding you of the task at hand; to kill Technoblade. To get revenge for what happened to L'Manberg. You were no more than a nurse for the butcher army, and sometimes a guard, that's currently what you were doing. You had been given the task to watch Phil while the others go find Techno.
Glancing over at where Phil was sitting on house arrest, you picked up a shiny red apple from the chest and made your way to Phil's house. With a quiet knock, Phil was at the door staring at you. You held out the apple to him while he stared at you as if you were insane.
"Take this as my apology to what the Butcher army did to your home, I know an apple isn't a great payment for all the damages but you seemed hungry so," Phil's wings folded back behind him as he reached for the apple in your palm. He thanked you for the apple as he took a bite out of it, "I've never seen Quackity like this, I knew he wanted Techno to pay but not like this."
Philza's eyes narrowed looking at you, "so why are you helping him? Quackity doesn't deserve anything, he's a psychopath. You can find a better friend than that, mate."
You stiffled a laugh with your sleeve making Philza cock his eyebrow at you, "oh sorry, just reminds me of something that an old... friend of mine used to say."
"You stopped yourself before you said friend, what's up with that mate?" Phil questioned, finishing the apple and tossing it behind him into the garbage.
"Just hurts to remember that's all," you didn't want to admit the truth, besides it had been so long, he probably forgot all about you at this point, "it's been so long, you think he even remembers me? It's been such a long time."
"Hey cheer up mate," Philza wrapped one of his wings around you, "here I'll make a deal with you. Help me out of here and save Techno and I'll help reunite you and this friend of yours."
Your eyes widened, nervousness hiding behind your eyes as you felt compelled to agree. Phil smiled at you looking around his chest before pulling out a creeper and a skeleton head, tossing you the skeleton head.
"How are you supposed to leave with those?" Philza looked down at his feet where you were pointing. The iron boots keeping him on house arrest keeping him in place.
"Thinking still about that," Philza looked back at the you, his eyes showing concentration but also worry, "at least Techno knows, I got one of my crows to send him a letter. It's gonna take them a while to get all the way to him, he has time to prepare himself." Phil smiled to himself staring at the creeper head, "we're gonna fucking tail them. I know where Techno lives, with or without a compass, I know."
"But the boots."
Phil let out a breath looking at you, "not like there's a tracker in them, they just can't know I left the house. We can hide in plain sight."
<><><><><>
It was about a few hours long of a journey making your way through the snow, the skeleton head proving to be quite the annoyance as you and Phil hid in the bushes staring at Techno's house where the group had formed. They seemed to be arguing with a ghost who kept switching from going inside and outside.
Than you saw him, Techno standing on his porch staring down at the butcher army and the ghost. He looked the same as he always did, a few new scars but nothing too noticeable. He still wore the robe you had made him, it brought a smile to your face seeing how regal he still looked wearing it.
The ghost seemed to notice you and Phil, waving over at you two while Phil tried to silently signal him to stop. Phil tapping on your shoulder to move to a less visible spot while you two easedropped on the conversation. The ghost continued to float over to you two, waving at Phil and giving him a piece of stake while Phil stayed silent.
Techno started to sprint in your direction as Quackity caught him explaining that he had to come with them.
"Techno isn't allowed in L'Manberg?" the ghost said with a quiet cry, apart of you felt bad for him, he seemed so confused and not able to understand the severity of the scene right now.
It was silent.
"I choose blood!" Techno yelled as he smashed potions onto the ground, making it difficult for you and Phil to see the action. All you could hear was Tubbo, Fundy, and Ranboo's screams while Quackity was trying to get a hold of the situation.
"Big Q do something! Big Q!!" Tubbo yelled, blocking Techno's axe with his shield being an inch from his face, "Big Q!"
"Stop!" Quackity yelled, he was riding what seemed to be a horse. You remembered that horse, it was the same horse that Techno used to go riding with you on. Carl you remembered his name was, the most important thing in the world to Techno was that horse.
Techno looked away from where he had Tubbo trapped, his eyes widening seeing Quackity holding Carl, "get away from that horse Quackity!"
"Drop everything, or I will kill this horse right in front of you," Quackity's eyes narrowed. Techno seemed conflicted before he dropped his axe, his armor, his robe, and his crown, allowing Fundy and Tubbo to restrain him.
Phil grabbed your arm pulling you with him, "come on, we have to get there before they do."
<><><><><>
Sitting in the seats like you were told to do when they returned, you waited for Technoblade's execution. The cage open for Techno's place and the anvil waiting to be dropped. Carl was tied to the fence by the dock while you watched Techno be shoved into the cage.
"When I hit that lever over there it is gonna drop and that anvil up there will kill you," Quackity explained while Techno looked up at the anvil hanging above him.
Tubbo made his way over to his stand where he would read Techno's rights before the execution. Tubbo fixed the mic to his height before speaking, "Technoblade has robbed our country of everything that made it special, everything that defined what it was. He stepped in when he shouldn't have. He created chaos, he ruined the government-"
Suddenly an enderpearl was thrown and Punz had appeared smashing potions on the ground before attacking. He dropped tnt on the ground that was quickly picked up before he started to attack the butcher army. You ran out of your spot towards Phil's house which had been boarded up once more.
"Technoblade," the ghost smiled looking up at the piglin hybrid, a blue sheep following him, "I've named him Friend."
"Hello Ghostbur," Techno said in his usual monotone voice, grabbing onto the bars of the cage, "that's fantastic Ghostbur, I'm about to die Ghostbur."
"Fuck it fuck it I'm pulling this lever," Quackity ran over to where the lever was, Techno understandable being confused as he tried to escape the cage. Phil pulling out his bow to try to stop them before Quackity pulled the lever.
It was like slow motion, your back was pressed against Phil's boarded up door as you watched the anvil fall. Techno staring up at the anvil that was coming closer and closer to crushing him. Ghostbur looking confused of the situation, not able to understand. Phil looking away not able to bare staring at his friend die.
But than he didn't...
Instead he jumped ontop of the anvil and out of the cage. Running over to Carl and jumping onto the horse's back riding away.
<><><><><>
You weren't sure what you were supposed to say. You were sitting in front of Quackity stitching up his face while he sat in silence, occasionally tensing up in pain from the needle piercing his skin. You sort of blamed yourself for what happened to Quackity even though it was Techno's pickaxe that did this.
It was a deep cut too, you knew his right eye would never work again from how it had glossed over into a pure white and Quackity had mentioned his vision going blurry in that eye. Once you were done stitching it up, Quackity looked up at you, "so when did you plan to tell me?"
"Tell you what?" you questioned standing up and putting your stuff away, sorting your potions. You really hoped Quackity wasn't hinting at what you think he was.
"About you and Technoblade..." Quackity's eyes narrowed at you when you froze, your fingers tapping on your table, "how you two used to be old buddy buddies? How you helped Philza escape? How you're only helping me because you think I'm gonna hurt Tubbo or Ranboo? Maybe how you fucking love Techno?!" By this point, Quackity had stood up and was right in front of you, you gulping seeing the anger showing in Quackity's eye. It reminded you how Schlatt used to treat you when you worked for him.
"Quackity I--"
"I bet you're so fucking happy to see me like this huh?" Quackity's hand flew its way to your throat, crushing your throat under his hand, "in fucking pain, only having one good eye left, huh? Was this all some kind of joke to you? Did I ever truly mean anything to you because I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe my friendship meant nothing? Bet your fucking terrified now."
You gasped for air, trying to push on Quackity's chest to get him to let go feeling yourself lose consiousness.
"I wish Schlatt fucking killed you in the van," Quackity let go of you pushing you down onto the ground, "get out of L'Manberg, I don't want to see your face in this town again or I will not hesitate to execute you and I won't fail this time at it either."
"But my stuff," you said once you regained air in your lungs.
"Not your stuff anymore, you're on your fucking own now," Quackity opened the door, "you have 10 minutes, I better not see your face again."
<><><><><>
With nowhere else to go, you decided to say hello to an old friend. You were absolutely freezing out here with absolutely nothing to defend yourself. You could only hope that he would want to see you or even remember you and all the times you two shared in the past. You felt like you were gonna turn into ice if you were outside for any longer as you knocked on the door.
But the door never opened and eventually you fell asleep, curled up on the porch by the door. You were slipping in and out of consiousness, you'd end up asleep for a few minutes than out again, falling asleep seemed to be the only thing that kept you warm.
Waking back up, you felt your vision be blurry and your head starting to spin. You couldn't even feel your limbs trying to hold onto your shaking cold body as you slowly felt yourself lose consiousness again.
In your frozen state, you felt a pair of arms pick you up, "it's okay I got you, come on come on, you're gonna be okay." You felt something heavy be wrapped around you and heard the door be opened, "come on, we need a fire. Y/N will freeze to death."
"We need to get them warm," you heard the ghost you had seen before say with the sound of a sheep being heard in response.
You felt yourself be dropped gently onto the ground in front of a fireplace, feeling the soft feel of wool curling up behind you along with the heavy robe.
"Will they be okay Techno?" Ghostbur asked the piglin hybrid who was staring down at you. Why had you come all the way out here? Especially at night and during a storm? That was practically a death sentence. He had no clue what would have happened and what he would have done if he was just a few minutes late, "Techno?"
"Go to bed Ghostbur," Techno said kneeling down onto the floor where you were in front of the fireplace curled up in Friend's wool.
"But ghosts don't sleep."
"Just give me some time alone, go play with Steve," Techno was trying to make up any kind of excuse he could to get a few minutes alone to himself to think. Ghostbur understood that he was not wanted right now and sadly nodded moving to outside where Steve was to give the bear company.
Techno looked down at you, his hand hesitantly going to your hair brushing the few strands you had in front of your face out of the way. He had missed you but knew that the separation was for your own safety but now he wasn't so sure being separated was the safest choice now.
Techno's eyes narrowed in curiosity looking at your neck, it'd almost seemed to be bruised as his eyebrows furrowed. He didn't want to assume anything so he decided to ask when you would wake as he smiles to himself, "I am not gonna lose you again."
<><><><><>
You woke up warm and feeling safe, a feeling you hadn't felt for a very long time. Your eyes fluttered open to seeing a blue sheep curled up against you and a polar bear on your other side, his head resting in your lap. The fire place in front of you was still burning brightly as you heard the sound of humming coming from the other room. You pulled yourself off the ground waking up the blue sheep who let out a baa following you.
You entered the other room where the humming was coming from and you were tackled in a hug by the ghost you had met. He smiled clinging to you.
"You're alive! You're alive! I don't even know you but you're alive!" Ghostbur laughed clinging onto you. You laughed hugging the ghost back. You looked over at the corner of the room over Ghostbur's shoulder noticing Techno sitting at a table, a book in his hands and glasses on the bridge of his nose, his tusks peaking out of his lips like usual.
"Morning," Techno said with his usual monotone voice marking the page in his book and take his glasses off. Ghostbur let go of you as you made your way over to the table sitting down, Techno's robe still over your shoulders, "you look very nice in my robe I must say."
"Thank you for saving my life," Techno nodded sliding a plate of potatoes over to you as you stiffled a laugh, "you still obsessed with potatoes huh?"
"Eh," Techno shrugged as Ghostbur skipped outside with Friend following him. Techno watched the door close, finally knowing Ghostbur was out of earshot he looked at you in all seriousness, "who put their hands on you."
You were caught off guard by Techno's question, looking at him, his eyes scanning your entire face trying to read your emotions, "no one, I just had a run in with some mobs, that's all."
"Oh so you're trying to tell me that a creeper grabbed you by the throat as such a rough grip to bruise? Come on Y/N, I've known you for how long and you think I'll fall for something like that?" it was obvious you couldn't just lie to Techno but at the same time, lying would cause less blood shed, "besides you wouldn't just run out of L'Manberg like that and almost have yourself killed if everything was fine, just spit it out."
"Why do you want to know so badly?"
"Because the person that I love just comes to my house out of nowhere after completely disappearing for a long time and almost dies at my door step and then I find bruises on their neck like someone had strangled them?!" Techno yelled catching you off guard. You had never seen Techno so mad at you before, sure you two had arguments in the past but this was different, he never raised his voice at you before.
Techno raised his hand to run his hand through his hair to calm himself down, however when you flinched seeing his hand go up, he froze. His hands dropping to his sides as he got up from the table and grabbed his axe before walking out the door.
You looked down at your hands, you didn't mean to flinch, it just happened, you didn't mean to scare him like that. You sighed dropping your face into your hands as you silently cried into your hands feeling Steve lay his head on your lap looking up at you.
"I gotta go boy," you scratched behind Steve's ear as you got off the chair, Steve following behind you as you went to the door, "no you have to stay here boy." Opening the door, you closed it before Steve could come out as you watched the bear jump up and look through the window of the door as you walked out.
The snow crunched under your feet as you started to walk away. You were meant to be alone. You thought coming back to Techno would make things better but all you did was make him think that you were scared of him.
You kept walking till you noticed less and less snow and noticed you were in a flower field. Your tears started to drop more as you looked at the flowers, it reminded you of the times you and Techno would spend in the flower fields together. You would sit in the grass picking flowers for different decor and dyes while Techno would tell stories of Greek mythology or his war stories. It didn't matter how many times you heard the same story, you loved to hear them everytime.
"Thought you might have wandered off to here," you vision snapped turning around to see Techno. He was just wearing his white button up, the first three button undone, his hair in a new braid. You remembered that you were the one that always braided his hair until you taught him to.
"Tech, I'm sorry-"
"Hush," Techno held up his hand moving over to you, his body towering over yours, "just tell me, please."
You looked down at the ground as Techno sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you into his chest. You clung to his body as you felt the tears starting to well in your eyes, "it was Quackity. He found out about us and then he attacked me after I helped him treat that scar you gave him."
You felt Techno tense, "I wish I could kill that duck. I can't believe he'd put his hands on you like that."
"It's not the first time," you sighed out, hiding your face in Techno's chest. Techno asked you what you meant as you bit your lip, "during the L'Manberg war for independence, Dream had grabbed me when the van exploded and held me hostage for a few weeks until I got saved after L'Manberg became independant. Than I ended up working for Schlatt for a while when Wilbur and Tommy were exiled, I guess they never told you. Schlatt treated both me, Niki, and Quackity awfully, he taxed Niki till she was bankrupt, he would yell and shame Quackity, and then he'd grab me. It was worse when he found out I had opened the gates for Wilbur to get in Manberg, he almost killed me in a drunk rage inside the van. Than well, you know Quackity."
Techno sighed, "Y/N look at me."
You shook your head hiding your face in Techno's chest until he grabbed your chin making you look up at him.
"I'm never letting you out of my sight again."
"I love you," you held onto Techno's hand as he smiled pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
"I love you too."
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Thank you for reading. Please show your support since it really helps me out :)
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sandbees · 4 years ago
Text
Fallout
Warning: Mentions of blood, violence, and friends-to-enemies
This is my 500 follower special :) a word of warning, this is going to be very angsty, unlike my other works. So be warned!
=_=
Those four were always inseparable, everyone thought. Despite the chaos they brought, they brought smiles to everyone. You’d never find one without the others.
Which is why Trey and Riddle found it odd to see Ace walking into the kitchen alone.
“Ace?”, Trey had said, “Did the Track and Field club have a last minute meeting?”
“Eh? Why are you asking?”
“Oh, it’s because you usually come here with Deuce.”
At the mention of his friend’s name, Ace’s expression changed. He narrowed his eyes as he gave a frown.
“Why should I care if he has a club meeting to attend?”, the redhead scoffed, “What he does doesn’t matter to me anymore.”
Without any more words, Ace left the kitchen. Riddle and Trey give a glance to each other, though they say nothing. It was not unusual for the ADeuce duo to have small fights and act like the other doesn’t exist. They’d make up eventually.
=_=
“Grim?”
The cat in question gave a low growl, as he slid into Jack’s room. Grim smelled of sadness and fear, the wolf beastmen noted. That was certainly unusual, for the boisterous cat. That...made Jack worry.
“What? I just wanted to crash in here for the night.”, he said, curling up at Jack’s feet.
“I...see.”, Jack’s ear twitched, “How come you aren’t with Yuu?”
“I just didn’t want to see them.”, Grim said as his tail curled around his body.
Jack’s expression flickered to reflect worry, “Is that all?”
“...yes, that’s all.”, Grim stated quietly, before laying his head down, “Now be quiet, I’m trying to sleep.”
Jack stayed silent, pondering the sudden change in Grim’s behavior. Yuu wasn’t someone who would...act mean or lash out at people, especially not Grim. Jack worried that something bad had happened to Yuu or worse.
Though, rationally it was nothing more than a little spat they might have had, and Grim was being overdramatic (as usual). Maybe Jack was overthinking things.
=_=
Grim didn’t come with Jack to go to school. He had stated that he would go to class by himself. (Unusual; why would Grim willingly go to class?) But when Jack mentioned that Grim should meet up with Yuu, the cat became more insistent to go to class early.
Something was wrong, Jack could tell. Maybe last night’s worries weren’t nothing. He wanted to know more, which would be easy since he sees Yuu every day at Main Street with the rest.
Which is why he found it odd when only Epel and Sebek were present.
“Where’s the others? Shouldn’t they be here already?”, Jack asked as he approached the two.
“They should, but we haven’t seen them at all.”, Epel answered, frowning, “I expected Ace or Deuce to be late, but never Yuu. They’re always on time.”
“Maybe Grim kept Yuu back!”, Sebek said, “He must have wanted them to get tuna for him!”
“No, that isn’t possible.”, Jack shook his head, “Grim came over to Savannaclaw last night.”
“He...he what?!”, Sebek shouted, “Why would he stay with you?!”
“I don’t know, but judging by his actions and his scent...something must have happened between Yuu and Grim.”, Jack sighed.
“His scent?”, Epel repeated, “What does Grim’s scent have to do with anything?”
“Well, you see-“
“Hey guys!”
The three turn their heads to see Yuu smiling at them. But...there was this air around them that seemed anxious. They had been walking quickly, as if someone was following them.
“Oh, good morning Yuu.”, Sebek greeted, “How are you?”
“I’m doing well.”, Yuu said quickly, “By the way, can we go to class now? I was hoping to get to class early you see-“
“Shouldn’t we wait for Ace and Deuce?”, Jack interrupted, “They should be here soon.”
“We don’t have to worry about them.”, Yuu said in a strained voice, “Besides, I don’t think we want to see each other.”
This got the group’s attention. It was as clear as day that Yuu did not want to see Ace or Deuce. The question was: Why?
“...Does this have to do with Grim staying over at my dorm?”, Jack asked.
“...”
It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Gradually, Yuu’s face fell into a look of annoyance.
“He stayed over at your dorm? Did he say anything?”
Jack flinched at the sudden coldness in their tone.
“No, he just slept for the night and left early.”
Yuu nodded, “Then...that’s fine. But, I don’t want to stick around and wait for the other two. You can, if you want. I won’t force you to.”
Jack narrowed his eyes. Something was definitely up. The four were usually glued to the hip, but seeing Yuu act so...indifferent about the other three gave a bad feeling in his gut. Sebek and Epel must have had the same idea.
“What happened yesterday?”, Epel asked, “What did the three do to get you so mad?”
“....I don’t want to talk about it.”, Yuu said, “Just- I don’t want to be friends with them anymore. I never will be.”
CRASH!
The noise was so sudden, that everyone jumped at it. It came from behind them, a large sound that sounded like food splattering.
Behind them, was Deuce and Cater. A trey of what was presumably backed goods smeared onto the ground.
“Oh shit.”, Epel whispered.
The look in Deuce’s eyes made Epel shrink away and closer to Sebek and Jack. It felt out of character of the bluenette - having such a murderous look on his face.
Yuu stood their ground, glaring at Deuce.
“How nice of you to join us.”, Yuu stated, “But I’m going to class.”
“Oh, fuck off.”, Deuce snarled.
Cater, poor guy, visibly moved away from Deuce, shock written on his features.
“Whatever you say.”, Yuu waved their arm half-heartedly as they walked away.
Deuce growled, before he walked in the opposite way of Yuu...before he turned around and passed the group, because he was actually going in the wrong direction of the school.
The group were left in complete shock and confusion. Yeah, something was up. Seeing the two act so hostile towards each other in mere seconds of seeing the other raised a lot of flags.
“Uhm, Diamond-Senpai, right?”, Jack recalled, “What was that about?”
“Ah, if I knew the full story, I would’ve done something about it.”, Cater snapped out of his thoughts, “Deuce-Chan just came up to me and Trey yesterday and asked to help him make an apology cake. We happily agreed and I went with him to deliver it. I didn’t know it was for Yuu...I honestly thought it was for Ace.”
“Eh? Is Deuce mad at Ace too?”, Epel asked.
“I would assume so, Ace seemed particularly annoyed when he came back to our dorm yesterday.”
“Hm, this seems like a mystery that’s waiting to be solved...”
“I guess we have to go ask them individually to figure out what happened.”, Sebek said, “School is almost in session, so the best time is to ask during class.”
“Right.”
=_=
Cater was worried. About Deuce, Ace, Grim, and Yuu. It was evident that something happened yesterday, that caused them to be hostile with each other. He’s noticed how they refuse to be in the same room of each other outside of class - how uncomfortable the other three of their group had looked when the rest of their group was divided.
He sighed, as the last bell rang. Cater knew he’d have to bring it up with Riddle and Trey. Maybe they could intervene with Ace and Deuce.
As he turned the corner, he noticed a rather big crowd next to the Heartslybul mirror. Unconsciously, Cater took out his phone, ready to record whatever drama was happening.
Did he expect Deuce and Ace to be full on brawling on the floor? No, not at all.
He could only watch in silent shock as he recorded the whole fight. He should intervene, as their senior. Make sure they don’t get seriously harmed and get Riddle and Trey-
Deuce grabs Ace’s head and smashes it against the floor. A sickening crack echoes as Ace screams. Cater almost drops his phone.
Oh god, there’s blood dripping onto the floor, he has to-
“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”
Riddle storms into view, red in the face. The crowd of students part way for him to pass by. Trey is next to his side.
“Trappola? Spade?”, Riddle looked at the two first years, “What on Earth were you thinking?! Fighting in the corridors, I-“
Riddle fell silent. He must have noticed the blood leaking from Ace’s head.
Cater pushed past some of the students, going to meet with the two Heartslybul dorm leaders.
“I’ll take Ace to the infirmary.”, he offered, “I don’t know much but...I did get some recordings.”
He inwardly cringed at saying that. Seriously, what was he thinking?! He shouldn’t have recorded the fight and stood by.
Riddle slumped his shoulders, “Please do, Cater. Trey, please take Deuce to my office.”
The redhead turned to the body of students, “The rest of you - back to your dorms! This “fight” is over!”
Cater hoisted Ace over his shoulders. Ace groaned, looking very much out of it. Deuce scowled, though he passively followed Trey to the Heartslybul mirror.
Cater hesitated, even as the students began to leave the scene.
This was so uncharacteristic of the two of them. Since when did Deuce throw punches to the point of causing someone to bleed? Did Ace escalate some teasing to a full on brawl (no, Ace can annoy someone, but he would never poke a bee’s nest intentionally)
As Cater dragged Ace down the halls, he wondered if the fight was a climax of something much more bigger - something that started with Yuu denouncing their friendship between Deuce and Ace.
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shadowsinger11 · 4 years ago
Text
John Wayne
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader
Summary: Christmas lights and stunning dresses are enough to spark a desire for a winter romance. But could you have possibly gotten the wrong idea?
Word Count: 2.5k
Genre: fluff, angst
A/N: I might've listened too much to Cigarettes After Sex while writing and this is totally not a song inspired fic, born purely as a result of my procrastination with other projects
Tag list: @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hufflexpuff @neovannii @jenniweasley @theweasleysredhair @harrysweasleys @loony-loopy-lupinn @whiz-bangs78 @slytherinsunrise @starlightweasley @ickle-ronniekins @gcdric @vivianweasley @aprilsrant @idont-knowrn @thisismynerdyself @wonderful-writer @feetoffthetablee @minty-malfoy @vogueweasley @elf-punk @oh-for-merlins-sake @heart-of-tempered-steel @spilled-prose @itseatyourdamnapples @aaannabbanana @l0ttadreamz @potter-redheads @pastanest | message me to be added/removed! (if you're in bold, I couldn't tag you)
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You were staring at the crowded dance floor.
Beautiful ladies were being spun around by their partners, gorgeous gowns twirling and swooshing with their every elegant move. Everything was perfect about them; from their smile which lit up the Great hall more than the sparkling white Christmas trees, to the way their wrist gracefully twisted around their lover's neck, eyes piercing into theirs. The music was playing, slow and melancholic, exactly as it had been playing for the last few hours, luring lovers and encouraging them to bare their souls in front of each other.
And so they danced, connected by fearful desire, united by hope and bonded by love.
It was a kind of magic no one could truly understand, mysterious and private as though you weren't meant to witness it that night. So when among the sea of couples lips met in a silent oath, your heart began to ache, pleading you to leave.
It should have been you. It should have been you the receiver of those loving glances, of those kisses which made your head dizzy and caused your knees to buckle, but it would've been no problem as you would've had the arms of your lover to keep you secure. Then, as you'd dare to look up through your lashes, gorgeous eyes would be already on you, their obscure flame consoling you and pulling you in. And you'd simply fall, letting the warm, velvety darkness envelope you.
You flinched from the slight chill, rethinking your choice of a sleeveless dress. The enthusiasm with which you had picked it months ago now seemed utterly ridiculous and foolish as you were sitting a good distance away from where you believed you'd have been dancing your heart out. But, as you took one last look at your surroundings, only to spot your lovestruck friends indulging in the presence of their partners, the comfort of your pajamas seemed far more tempting than the unreasonably expensive piece of fabric which didn't even matter to you anymore.
It was pitifully funny how things could change in the blink of an eye, in a single breath; how fast you had gone from blooming with excitement to wondering how you were foolish enough to contribute to your own heartbreak.
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"How come I'm just finding out about this?" Fred exclaimed, chasing after you down the stairs of the Astronomy tower. "I bet I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for those Ravenclaws chatting back in class."
"You were gonna know eventually, what's the deal?"
"My point is, why didn't you tell me and I had to hear from someone else?"
A group Hufflepuffs gave you questioning looks as you practically ran past them, nearly tripping over your own feet in the process, "You're making a fuss about nothing, stop acting entitled to every piece of information in my life!"
"McLaggen? That git?" Fred yelled in frustration and disbelief; he didn't at all acknowledge the small crowd which had gathered to observe the scene, nor did he care in the first place. He stopped in his tracks, gripping the wooden railing tight, knuckles turning white and jaw tense. "You cannot be serious."
Shocked faces now turned to you, and you desperately wished you could use reducio on yourself. Instead, opposite to what your consciousness was screaming at you, you dug your feet into the floor and shot Fred a stern look over your shoulder, "We're not discussing this right now. Besides, what's in it for you anyway? You're going with Angelina."
Had you kept walking, you would have missed the way Fred's chest was heaving with shallow, rapid breaths, and his face was more maroon than you had ever seen. And you? You couldn't quite breathe yourself.
A week ago your untamed happiness brightened every room and hallway; classes seemed to fly by, exams were over and the Yule ball was right around the corner. Your heart was ringing with joy as you were so looking forward to forgetting your troubles for just one night. 
In the midst of shining Christmas decorations and beautiful dresses a dreamy, yet pretty bold idea had begun to form in your head, an idea which Ginny and Hermione encouraged with their support and affirmations. Deep down you had started to believe Fred Weasley took an interest in you, harboured feelings for you even, and your ever-present goofy banter which contained far more flirting than what would be acceptable between two best friends, only fed your imagination and raised your hopes up.
You were aware you were the only one on the receiving end of Fred's teasing jokes, cheesy pickup lines and lingering stares which had you staying up an extra hour in your bed at night. Even his siblings shared the same opinion - there was no way on Godric's sword that a person who clearly wanted to be around you as often as possible and got his hands on you every chance he could, wouldn't be at least a little bit interested in you.
That's why you nearly broke down when exactly a week ago in the hallway Ron casually mentioned his older brother had just asked out Angelina.
The ground was pulled beneath your feet, vanishing along with your oblivious hopes. The news stung sharply, leaving a sour taste in your mouth; never had you believed you’d spend the few days before the ball stitching up your heart, and you were willing to do just about anything to forget about your humiliation. So when McLaggen invited you with an obnoxiously flirty note in Charms class, you didn’t hesitate much.
You could feel a wave of tears burning your eyes as you looked up to where Fred was standing. His face and ears were still as red as they could get, and his chest was vibrating with every shaky breath he took. Fury had disappeared from his eyes long ago, replaced with concern, regret and hurt which you couldn't quite place.
He climbed down the few remaining stairs.
"He's obnoxious! And beyond what's good for you!" Fred stated, though his voice now lacked power and slightly trembled, loud enough just for you to hear. "You're setting yourself up for a pretty bad night."
You swallowed down the dry lump in your throat and finally turned around to fully face him, looking him up and down.
"Seems like I have a terrible taste in men then."
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A second glass of firewhiskey did nothing to burn down the growing turmoil in your stomach. You tapped the edge of the empty glass with your fingers and smiled at your friends who were visibly exhausted from dancing to upbeat songs for quite awhile now, but enjoying their time far too much to take a break. You admired their spirit - just because you weren't feeling your best, it didn't mean your friends didn't have the right to have fun.
However, the inevitable sense of regret lingered in your bones, and you found it hard to not focus on how the ball had gone wrong for you, in more ways than you had originally thought.
Even without Fred as your date, there was still a chance you'd have a good time. McLaggen could undoubtedly make it awkward to be around, and with the fact that your heart had recently been sliced open, you weren't sure how much of his ridiculous antics you could take. But at least he was trying; if you put aside his overbearing ego, you could see genuine effort into creating something romantic for both of you. It was going to be okay. Not necessarily what you desired, but somehow okay.
And that last bit of hope vanished the second you caught your former date snogging your crush's date in an empty classroom merely an hour ago.
You didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the universe's bitter joke, but the tears on your face as you ran down the hallway in your beautiful dress were eloquent.
A bitter, bitter joke.
You couldn't take it anymore. The charming smiles, sultry glances and stolen kisses you had been observing for the past hour were too much. And when another slow song made an appearance, you rose to your feet and headed towards the tall doors of the exit. Perhaps sleep would be a decent ending to your horrendous night.
You had barely made it out of the Great hall when loud footsteps echoed on your right.
"Bloody hell, I've been looking for you!" Fred said through heavy breaths, having run all the way to you as it seemed. His ginger hair had escaped its slicked look long ago, now too messy to fix despite his numerous attempts to smooth it back. His suit was no better, slightly wrinkled and shirt open to the third button.
"Why have you?" you asked and folded your arms, feeling a bit chilly in the hallway.
"McLaggen. About him," Fred sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry for having to say it, but I just saw him-"
"I know."
Fred frowned in confusion.
"You do?"
It was your turn to let out an exasperated sigh as you looked down at your feet, "Yes. A while ago."
Fred's features softened.
"I'm sorry."
You barely found it in you to respond with a weak smile, "It's alright. I guess I was right. I do have a terrible taste in men." Then you gave Fred a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry for Angelina too, it's horrible she did this to you."
Your friend allowed the ghost of a smirk to appear on his lips and he shoved hands into his pockets, "I'm not really affected by it in all honesty," he shrugged. "I'm rather angry about the fact that the prat thought he could pull off something like this and get away with it."
Fred's heart ached at the sight of your slumped figure and glossy eyes; he hated himself for having contributed to the failure of the event you were expecting with so much hope. He tilted his head to the side, attempting to meet your gaze.
"I'd gladly prank the crap outta the git until he doesn't even dare to show up to classes… But for now is there a way for me to make your night any less terrible, love?"
You couldn't help but giggle at the thought of McLaggen skipping classes out of sheer fear of Fred. But then your thoughts wandered to the way Angelina was practically straddling his lap, and you wondered if Fred had been doing the same all this time unbeknownst to you; if right after a flirty joke sent your way he'd go to an empty classroom and kiss Angelina with the passion you had just witnessed.
The image of Angelina's lips on Fred's caused you to become nauseous and you attempted to swallow down that lump again.
"No," you replied. "But please, tell me one thing. What was that entire tantrum for?"
Fred didn't really seem taken aback by your question, realizing you'd eventually bring it up. He furrowed a brow, carefully thinking of an answer, and wettened his lips.
“Perhaps it would be inappropriate of me to say it- selfish even, but the mere thought of you being in the embrace of someone, especially with that someone being a foul git, caused me to get unreasonably angry.” Guilt was seeping into his every word and he bitterly chuckled to himself. “Ironic, isn’t it? Attempting to spare you heartbreak by being the reason for it.”
He gently took your hand and looked into your eyes, remorse swimming in his own, "I had no right to treat you the way I did. I'm terribly sorry for being controlling and you absolutely do not have to forgive me. Just know that I truly regret my actions; I never intended to hurt you."
His words were a feather-light caress to your wounded heart and you shuddered. You couldn't stay mad at him. Reciprocated feelings or not, he was still your best friend and you wouldn't let that go.
"Apology accepted," you gave his hand a light squeeze and Fred beamed, the entire hallway lighting up with him. Dread released your chest of its merciless grasp and you could finally breathe. However, one question never ceased to haunt you. "But I just need to know…” you began, absentmindedly playing with his fingers, “...why were you so upset to begin with?"
Fred's shoulders immediately stiffened and he averted his gaze from you in an attempt to come up with a reasonable reply. His jaw was clenched, and his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. "I didn't want you to go with him." He stated simply. "Not when you could've easily gone with me instead."
You froze.
"What do you mean?” you asked timidly, shifting your weight from foot to foot. “What about Angelina?"
Fred only shook his head, fighting back a grin.
"Darling, Angelina was never the catch."
The air was knocked out of your lungs.
You could only stare at Fred wide-eyed, and though his expression was unreadable, maroon had begun to crawl its way up to his ears and cheeks again.
"I'm sorry for putting you through all this," Fred spoke softly as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles, a kiss that awakened the butterflies within you. "I was really too much of a wuss to confess to you and settled for this instead."
"I guess that makes us two," you smiled sincerely, perhaps for the first time that night. Fred returned your smile with a grin, and asked.
"How can I make up to you for this oh-so-awful mess?"
"Dance with me," you said without skipping a beat. "That's what you owe me at least. Let's finally do what we both wanted."
Fred's expression became serious as he intertwined his fingers with yours, and led you into the direction of the Great hall, from which music could still faintly be heard.
"With the greatest of pleasure, my love."
Most people had already gone to bed, leaving just a few couples and you to drench in enchanted serenity. Fred's arms around you felt like home as you both swayed to the soft rhythm of the song, one of the many to follow, but his racing heartbeat under your palm caused your own pulse to speed up as well. 
You looked up at your lover through your lashes, gorgeous eyes already on you, their obscure flame consoling you and pulling you in. There was an odd, enigmatic allure that Fred possessed, and even after years of knowing this man, it only caused you to fall further into the velvety hell you didn't wish to escape from. 
And when his lips collided with yours, they tasted sweeter than the forbidden fruit.
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Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!
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t0wnspersonb · 4 years ago
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I Got You (Sugawara Koushi x Reader)
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Anonymous said:
Are you taking requests? I was wondering if you could do a smut with sugawara. Like they get a little drunk, and YN sits in Suga’s lap. Then Suga says something like, ”i know we're just friends, so I'm sorry if I get hard.” and then you can finish it however. Thank you so much!
Anonymous said:
Hiiii I justo read tour Tsukishima post! Is just great! Would It be posible to request a scenario with suga and his S/o un which she is a bit "scared" of being intimate with him because her first sexual contacts weren't good. she was sexually harrased when younger and so She is a bit reluctant of intimate Contact or sex being afraid that it just the same she has experienced. Also being afraid if she doesn't do the do with him he Will leave her. And how would he respond to that?
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Word Count: 3,124
Warnings: SMUT, mentions of sexual assault, drinking, alcohol, Suga being a fucking precious bean, my shit writing
Summary: It’s been a couple of years since everyone on the volleyball team have been together, one night during a get together you end up having one too many drinks, resulting in Sugawara taking you home and confessing his feelings to you. But a situation from your past might prevent you from reciprocating those feelings. 
~~~~~~
So I decided to incorporate these two requests together, I hope you guys don’t mind! I also apologize in advance if the writing is terrible😭😭😭 also another note for you guys: IF MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ. SAME IF YOU HAVE AN ISSUE ABOUT THE DRINKING. I NEVER WANT ANY OF MY READERS TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY OF THIS STUFF MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.  This blog is all about feeling safe and being welcoming. So please do not read if any of those warnings make you uncomfortable. Thank you all for the love and support and I can’t wait to continue writing:)
~~~~~~
The team reunion was everything that you thought it would be. 
 Complete chaos.
 It had been several years since you all had graduated from Karasuno, naturally you guys had stayed connected with everyone despite the different lives you all lead now.
 But it was like it had never changed.
 Currently Daichi was yelling at Hinata’s and Kageyama’s rivalry, both deciding to see how many shots they could take.
 Team reunions and alcohol definitely didn’t mix.
 You sat beside Asahi, watching the madness unfold before you, debating on if you should sneak out now.
 “If Tanaka and Noya aren’t careful, Daichi is going to lose his mind on them soon too.” Asahi laughed nervously as he stared at the other chaotic duo causing a scene.
 “The youth these days can’t handle their liquor.” you sighed, shaking your head.
 “You’re drunk too Y/n.” Sugawara said in amusement, taking in your flushed face and slightly dazed expression. “And what youth? They’re only a year younger than us.”
 Well… he got you there. You weren’t super drunk per say, but you were definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol you had consumed. 
 But in your defense, you were also a light weight. 
 “Don’t be rude Suga-kun.” you pouted staring at the grey-haired male. “I’ve had a long day.”
 “And I haven’t?” he teased. Sugawara was a teacher at Karasuno, and the faculty advisor for the volleyball club.
 It suited him; you had thought. Sugawara was always kind and smart, the fact that he had chosen a career where he could display those characteristics was wonderful.
 He was wonderful.
 Out of the entire team, you had remained the closest to him after you all had gone your separate ways.
 That was to be expected though, considering that you two had been close since before high school, childhood friends.
 And let’s be honest, you still harbored an enormous crush on him.
 “- Shut up you two! You’re disturbing the people around you!”
 Daichi was now yelling at Tanaka and Noya, although the people around you consisted of the old volleyball team. 
 More commotion could be heard from Kageyama and Hinata, and then suddenly you found yourself being pulled onto the lap of Sugawara; a volleyball now resting when you had just been.
 You blinked in confusion.
 “Oi! You almost hit Y/n-chan! Where did you guys even get that ball!?” Daichi yelled.
 “Boke! Hinata! Boke!” Kageyama screamed.
 “Maybe you should just sit here for now.” Sugawara murmured next to your ear, his chin resting on the top of your shoulder as he stared at the scene(s) unfolding before you guys.
 “... Yeah.” you finally uttered out. “Were they always this bad?” you asked, thinking back to your days as a Karasuno manager.
 “Definitely.” Sugawara mused. “But maybe we shouldn’t have met up at a place that serves alcohol.”
 “No kidding.” You muttered under your breath, unconsciously shifting in Sugwara’s lap, making yourself more comfortable as you leaned into his strong chest.
 You both were oblivious to the eyes of Kiyoko and Asahi. They smirked slightly at the sight before them.
 Everyone knew of the crush you guys had on each other. It was obvious. But the fact that you guys had never dated, even after high school, baffled them completely.
 Maybe tonight would change that?
 You couldn’t help the laughter that began escaping your lips as the chaos increased, Daichi had all but given up lecturing everyone and now sat beside Ennoshita.
 You were completely unaware of the way that Sugarawa had stiffened underneath you. The hands that were wrapped around your waist carefully began shifting you, so that you weren’t resting directly on his crotch anymore.
 He could feel the slight race of his heart, and - well - the rising in his pants. He prayed that you didn’t notice.
 But it was just Sugarawa’s luck.
 You could feel the heat in your face rising rapidly, your heart beating just a tad quicker as you felt a growing hardness against the curve of your ass.
 “Suga.” you whispered; your mouth felt incredibly dry right now. “Is that -” “I’m sorry Y/n.” he interrupted you. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he said gently, attempting to move you off of his lap.
 You shook your head, waving him off. “I-It’s okay. Y-You don’t have to move me… unless you want to.”
 Both of you visibly froze at your words. Shit, maybe the liquid courage you had in your system made you too bold.
 “Okay.” he murmured, and carefully tugged you closer now. This caused your bottom to slide against his growing member as he attempted to adjust you comfortably on his lap now.
 Despite the growing tension and nerves between the two of you, you didn’t move. His arms were wrapped around your waist carefully, his chin returning to your shoulder as you guys continued watching your teammates/friends create havoc in the room.
 This felt natural, this felt… right. Being wrapped up in Sugawara’s arms was quite literally heaven on earth for you.
 His body heat felt extremely pleasant, despite how overheated you were feeling. The mouthwatering scent of his cologne filled your nose, you could feel his breath against your cheek as it stirred your hair, and the gentle rising and falling of his chest.
 “Kiyoko-san! Marry me!” Tanaka cried, reaching for the dark-haired female. 
 “Kiyoko-san is gonna marry me!” Noya said, shoving at his friend.
 This time it was Ennoshita that began yelling at them. 
 You could feel the rumble of Sugawara’s chest as he laughed quietly behind you. Unconsciously he pressed his face into your neck to muffle the noise. You gasped softly as you felt soft damp lips gently brush against your neck as he attempted to quiet his laughter.
 But he had heard the soft noise that escaped your mouth, his grip on you tightening just slightly.
 Sugawara couldn’t help but wonder what other noises you could make.
 This was definitely going to be a long night.
 ***
 All too soon the night had ended, but you found yourself being accompanied home by Sugawara. 
 He and the team were slightly worried about getting you home safely, considering that you were still a bit drunk, and lived the furthest away.
 But by the time you had gotten home you had sobered up dramatically, now you were just tired.
 “Would you like to come in for a bit?” you asked, gazing up at the male.
 His eyes searched your face for a moment before nodding. 
 Sugawara had been over to your home before, but for some reason it felt different. There was that slight thrill that you shouldn’t have invited him in, the air between you two still held that sexual tension.
 As you sat in the living room together, sipping on the tea you had made, it got worse.
 Should you… confess? Should you say something about earlier? 
 You were a grown ass woman for Christ sake, and you still couldn’t muster up the courage to tell your childhood friend that you’ve been in love with him since you were kids.
 “Y/n.” Sugawara said suddenly, pulling you from your brooding thoughts. He was staring at you seriously, shifting closer to you on the couch.
 “Y-Yes.” you answered back nervously, biting your bottom lip as you stared back. 
 “Can I… can I try something?” He asked softly, gently cupping the side of your face.
 Your lips parted at his sweet touch, nodding softly.
 And then he was kissing you. 
 It was gentle and sweet, his lips incredibly warm and soft as they moved carefully against yours.
 You melted against him, threading your fingers into his hair as the kiss deepened, the softness melting into something extremely passionate.
 You found yourself on your back, Sugawara hovering over your body. You could feel his hands sliding under your shirt, his soft fingers gently trailing upwards on your skin. His touch burned in a pleasant way, it left you breathless and trembling.
 A familiar burn began igniting in the lower pit of your stomach. 
 Until you felt him cup your breast carefully.
 An image you thought you had buried in the deepest pit of your memory came to the forefront of your mind, causing your body to break out in a cold sweat, you flinched hard and began shoving at Sugarawa, feeling trapped underneath his body.
 You yanked yourself away from him, feeling tears sting at the backs of your eyes as you sat up, carefully wrapping your arms around yourself.
 And then you froze, your eyes snapping over to Sugarawa who was staring at you in confusion and worry.
 “Y/n -” “I’m sorry!” you interrupted him, biting down the hysteria as you fought back the painful memories that wanted to invade your mind.
 “For what?” he asked gently, carefully moving closer to you, he gently placed a hand on your shoulder in comfort. “I shouldn’t have gone that far, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
 You shook your head, wiping at the tears in your eyes. “You don’t need to apologize Suga… It wasn’t your fault.”
 “I find that hard to believe.” he said quietly, carefully moving the hair over your shoulder. “I shouldn’t have forced it, you should’ve told me no if you didn’t feel the same way.” he said, smiling sadly at you. “I should go.”
 Panic overtook your body and you grabbed his hand tightly, preventing him from leaving. “Don’t go!” you cried. “It’s not like that! I... I’ve liked you for a while now Suga. Please don’t go.”
 His eyes widened at your sudden confession, and then softened dramatically as he took in your hysterical form.
 “Well what’s going on. Talk to me.” he murmured, taking your hand in his. His thumb rubbing soothing circles on the top of your hand.
 You could feel your heart racing in fear, if you told him would he leave you? Would he be sickened by you? Knowing that you were broken, tainted. 
 “Hey.” he lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to look at him. His expression was soft and sweet, understanding. “I’m not going anywhere. Talk to me. Let me take care of you.” he breathed, his thumb gently dragging against the bottom of your lip. “You’ve been in my life since we were kids. I’d like you to be in my life more than that now. So please… just talk to me.”
 The sincerity in his voice, in his face, sent warmth throughout your entire being. It sent away the coldness that you felt creeping into your heart.
 “My first boyfriend…” you said quietly after a moment of silence. “He wasn’t… he wasn’t always so nice to me. Of course, no one knew.”
 Sugawara stayed silent. 
 “His touch wasn’t like yours. It wasn’t wanted at all. But it happened…” you trailed off, lips trembling slightly at the memories.
 Sugawara inhaled sharply at your words, anger piercing into his heart. He remembered that boyfriend, he had almost lost his friendship with you because of that guy. The volleyball team almost lost one of their precious managers because of that guy.
 “It was never good… he was so rough and… it always hurt. I -um - I haven’t… been with someone like that since it happened.” you finished, blinking back tears. “But… if it means that you’ll keep liking me… then I don’t mind…” you trailed off.
 Sugawara had never been more upset in his entire life. Just the idea of someone touching you without you wanting them to, hurting you intentionally… he couldn’t even fathom it. Couldn’t even begin to sort out the rage that he felt.
 But this wasn’t about him. This was about you. This was about making sure that you were taken care of, that your needs were being met.
 He carefully tugged you onto his lap, gently cupping your face as he stared at you with such an intensity it left you breathless.
 “Darling, don’t you ever, ever, say that.” he breathed out, the anger in his eyes simmering down to something sad and soft. “I would never put you in a situation where you ever had to feel that… that the only way to keep me is by…” he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
 He took a shuddering breath in before opening his eyes and continuing. “I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do. All I want from this… is to make you feel loved and happy. I’ve waited years to hear that you like me too. And now that I know you feel the same way… I just want to make you happy.” 
 He rested his forehead against yours tenderly, your eyes fluttering shut automatically. 
 “So, we don’t have to do anything that you aren’t ready for yet.” he finished. “But if you do… I can promise you that I will make you feel good… I’ll always make you feel good. Okay?” he asked, his hand gently cupping the back of your neck.
 He stared at you with so much love and adoration, it caused your heart to clench tightly, the fear and worry dissolving from your body and replaced with a feeling of warmth and safety.
 “Suga.” you whispered softly, “I want… I want to try. Please?” 
 He nodded before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against your lips. The kiss you two began to share never escalated to something that you couldn’t handle, it remained sweet and tender. An unspoken promise of never-ending gentleness.
 Before you knew it, both of your guys’ clothes had found their way to the floor, you had ended up in your bedroom, entangling yourselves on the bed.
 “You’re perfect.” Sugawara breathed, his eyes dancing across your naked body. He was rock hard already, but right now his priority was you. It was always going to be you.
 “Can I touch you?” he asked sweetly, gazing at your face with a loving expression.
 You nodded, swallowing thickly as his fingers began dancing across your skin, to your most intimate area.
 Sugawara watched your expression closely as he trailed his fingers over your mound, brushing softly at the top of your slit. He watched as yours fluttered shut in pleasure, his fingers gently running up and down against your soaked entrance.
 “You’re so wet for me.” He breathed in awe, carefully pushing a finger in. You gasped at the unfamiliar intrusion, but then began to melt. You were actually starting to feel good. 
 It didn’t take long until you were trembling and whimpering in pleasure at his gentle touches. Sugawara cooing to you about how beautiful you were and how well you were doing the entire time.
 Without any warning you began unraveling beneath him, the tight coil in your stomach snapping, you moaned loudly as the pleasure overtook your body. Leaving you a trembling mess as you came down from your high.
 Sugawara couldn’t tear his eyes away. You were fucking beautiful, and the fact that he was able to give you so much pleasure, the fact that he was the first one to ever give that kind of pleasure, well, he had never been more satisfied in his entire life. 
 “Do you want more?” he asked softly. You nodded in a daze, but that previous fire began igniting once more at the thought of Sugawara giving you more.
 “Can we try something?” he asked, his fingers rubbing softly at your hip. 
 “Okay.” you whispered. He tugged your body in a sitting position before laying down beside you. His member standing up painfully tall, aching for attention, for relief.
 But again, this wasn’t about him. This was about you. Which was why he wanted to do it this way. He wanted you to set the pace, wanted you to take control, wanted you to feel in control of this situation.
 “Ride me.” He breathed gazing at you with half lidded eyes. “I’m all yours.”
 Something deep within your belly twisted pleasantly at his words, and carefully you climbed on top of him, your hands resting on his strong chest as you stabilized yourself. 
 You could feel his cock brushing against your entrance, causing you to gasp loudly at the feeling. His hands rested lightly on your hips as you settled yourself and then you began sinking down on him and -
 Holy Fuck. 
 The stretch that Sugawara provided left you breathless as you sunk all the down, his cock completely engulfed in your velvety walls.
 You sat still as you began to adjust to the size of him, to the new intrusion. Your gaze found Sugawara's face and your tight walls seized up in desperation.
 His eyes were closed shut, his mouth parted in deep pleasure as he felt your walls squeeze him deliciously.
 You were warm, and you were so fucking wet. 
 “You… can… ngh… you can move if you want.” Sugawara groaned out, his eyes fluttering open. He could’ve cum at the mere sight of you, sitting on top of him, looking absolutely sinful with how beautiful you were.
 You started biting your lower lip as you began to move, gliding your hips up and down and - oh. It’s never… it’s never felt like this before. Pleasure began rippling through you as you slid up and down Sugawara’s cock. 
 Soft zaps of pleasure shooting up your spine. Sugarawa’s hands were resting on your hips, helping to guide you up and down. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, not with the sounds escaping your lips and your sweet expression that was twisted in pleasure.
 “I got you.” he breathed out. “I can feel it… just let go. I got you. Cum for me darling.” you were drastically getting tighter and tighter, your body readying yourself for another orgasm.
 So, you did.
 The euphoria that erupted within your body had you gasping for breath, your entire lower body locking down, causing Sugawara to release himself deep inside of you.
 He moaned your name out loudly, carefully bucking his hips up as he spilled into you. 
 You collapsed onto his chest, both of you trying to catch your breath. He gently began pushing your hair to the side, his hands rubbing up and down your back. Sugawara pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head as you murmured his name softly against his neck.
 “Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. Just sleep.” he cooed.
 You could feel your eyes fluttering shut at his warm touch and softly spoken words, you had never been more comfortable, more content, in your entire life until now. 
 You weren’t sure what was going to happen when you woke up, but one thing that you were sure of, was that you were hopelessly in love with Sugawara.
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whumpy-writings · 3 years ago
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Fed and Watered
Masterlist
The story of 023, aka Henri, and Aldon continues. @thecyrulik asked if Henri's life was going to get better, so here is some comfort and fluff for poor Henri. This post is also dedicated to @whumpsy-daisy , 023's number 1 fan!
CW: Vampires, slavery, dehumanization, anxiety, starvation, disordered eating, mention of past physical and mental abuse, nudity (non-explicit/non-sexual), scars, (and fluff, I promise)
The last thing he remembered was Master telling him to breathe. Now the ground beneath him was soft.. No. Not the ground. A bed. Henri’s eyes flew open in a panic. Humans weren’t allowed on beds. He rolled to the side, falling off the bed and onto the wooden floor. Oof. He rubbed his sore nose, wincing. Henri looked around the room. It was large with dark wooden furniture giving it a sense of finery. The walls were lined with red tapestries which depicted various scenes from folklore.
Henri’s eyes stopped when they reached a small table. On the table was a bowl, and he could see the steam rising from it. Terror swept through him. Master had said it would be a couple days but apparently had changed his mind. Henri crawled over so he could clearly be seen from the door and knelt, heart pounding. Breathe, he told himself. In... out...in...out. His mind started to wander. This was his life, all he was was a meal for his betters. But sometimes… sometimes he still wished for more. He tried to push those thoughts away but they always came back, sneaking into the corners of his mind that weren’t completely dark. Thoughts of a life without fear. A life without pain. He jumped as the door opened, heart in his throat. Master stood in the doorway, his broad shoulders almost filling the entire frame. Master’s eyes fell on Henri, and Henri had to suppress the urge to flinch. A frown.
“You don’t need to do that here, Henri, you can stand up.” Henri rushed to get to his feet, a wave of dizziness hitting him. Next thing he knew, Master was next to him, grabbing his arm so he wouldn’t fall to the floor.
“Careful there.” Master glanced over to the table with the soup, a crease on his brow. “Why haven’t you eaten, Henri? You must be starving.” Henri looked from the soup to Master and back again, confused. He wasn’t allowed to eat yet. Henri tipped his head to the side, exposing his neck for Master.
“No, I don’t want that,” Master said quickly.
Henri let out a sob. He was so hungry, but he couldn’t eat yet. “Please Master, please I’m so hungry and I can’t eat until you have.”
Aldon froze, shocked. He had never heard of such a thing. “Was that your old Master’s rule?”
“Yes sir.” Aldon considered this, horror building in his stomach.
“How often did your Master feed?” he asked.
“Usually about three times a week, sir,” Henri replied quietly.
Aldon gaped. No wonder the human was so weak. Humans needed to eat at least once every day, much more often than vampires. Aldon took a deep breath, thinking of what to say.
“Here there is a different rule. I need you to be healthy, and eating three times a week is not going to accomplish that. You’re to eat everyday, whether or not it’s a feeding day. Anytime you’re hungry, let me know and I’ll get you some food.”
Henri looked at him in shock, big blue eyes huge. Then he started to cry. “Thank you for your kindness, Master.”
Aldon’s heart broke a little at being thanked for granting the bare minimum for survival. “Of course, Henri. Now why don’t you eat your soup? I’m going to go draw a bath for you.”
The soup was heavenly. It was warm, with potatoes and carrots and onions. There was a slice of bread too, which filled his mouth with yeasty deliciousness. Henri savored each bite. When he was done he leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He was full. He hadn’t been full in… he didn’t even know how long.
...
Aldon felt the bath water. Not too hot, not too cold. He turned off the tap, drying his hands on the nearby towel. Time to get Henri. Aldon walked down the hall, gently rapping on the door before poking his head in. “The bath is all ready. Did you eat?”
Henri nodded vigorously, a ghost of a smile on his pale face. “Yes Master, Thank you Master.” He got out of the chair, hesitating for an instance. “Master…” he said, face going white, “I’m sorry for using the furniture without permission. Please forgive me.”
Aldon took a calming breath. Henri’s old master was certifiably, undeniably, an awful person. “No need to apologize Henri, you are allowed to use any of the furniture that you want.”
The relief was apparent on Henri’s face.“Thank you, Master.”
Aldon turned around hurriedly so Henri would not see the rage on his face. The ways some people treated their humans were just despicable.
“Come on Henri, let’s get you cleaned up.” Henri followed Aldon down the hall to the bathroom. It was small, with a white clawfoot tub and floors and walls covered in white ceramic tiles. This was one of the few houses in this part of the city that had the luxury of running water. Aldon turned back to Henri, only to find the man already undressed, pants on the floor. Aldon turned away immediately, cheeks burning.
“Is something the matter, Master?” Henri asked, voice filled with uncertainty and a tinge of fear
.
“No, I just was going to give you privacy to change. You’re allowed privacy here,” he quickly added.
“Oh,” a pause. “Thank you, Master,” Henri said quietly.
“You can climb in the tub now.” Aldon averted his eyes as Henri climbed in, then turned to the human sitting in the tub, bubbles up to his chest. “Would you like help bathing, or will you be able to do it on your own?” he asked carefully.
Henri considered this for a moment. “I would like a bit of help with my back and my hair, if you would be willing to. This hair is… a mess.” he said, gesturing to the greasy blond mop on his head.
“I can definitely help you with that.” Aldon knelt down next to the tub and picked up a cloth. He could hear Henri’s elevated breathing and could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest. “You’re okay Henri, how about we take a couple breaths?” Aldon led Henri through a couple rounds of deep breathing, until the human had calmed down.
“I’m sorry Master,” Henri said, staring down at the water, regret thick in his voice.
“Hey,” Aldon said, reaching out and taking Henri’s chin in his hand, gently making him look up at him. Henri’s blue eyes sparkled, threatening to spill tears. “I know this has been a big change for you. Anybody would be nervous in your place. I’m really proud of how well you’re doing.”
Henri blushed. “Thank you, Master.” he said.
“Of course, Henri,” Aldon said, picking up his cloth and dipping it in the water. He started to gently rub his back. Aldon pressed his lips together. Every single rib and vertebra was visible, creating deep ridges in the skin. Henri was covered in dirt and the water quickly starting to take on a brownish hue. Aldon paused when he glanced at Henri’s neck. There was a scar there, two actually. They were parallel to each other, running from the base of his skull all the way to the collarbone. Almost as if… someone had dragged their fangs down his neck. Aldon pursed his lips, fingers lingering on the scar. Henri froze, beneath his touch. “Henri, who did this to you?”
Henri didn’t respond for a second, and Aldon started to worry that maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it. Then finally Henri said, “Mas… Old Master” A pause. “I… I tried to run away.” Aldon cocked an eyebrow at that. Henri continued in a rush. “I know I shouldn’t have, that I should have been grateful for his protection. I didn’t make it far. This,” his fingers went to the scars, lightly tracing them “was my punishment. He wanted to make sure I knew who I belonged to. I’ll never try to run away from you, Master. I’ve learned my lesson.”
Aldon couldn’t see Henri’s face, but he could hear the sadness in his voice. Anger bubbled to the surface. How dare someone do that to another creature? Aldon pushed his feelings down. He would deal with it later.
“Thank you for telling me that, Henri.” There was silence for a while, Aldon moving on to Henri’s hair. It was matted with dirt and grease, tangled into knots. Aldon worked his fingers into the knots, slowly loosening them. After a while of working, he noticed that Henri was much more relaxed, his breathing steady. He smiled to himself. “Well, I think I’m done. Can you rinse your hair for me?”
Henri nodded, ducking quickly under the water. When he came up he was smiling. “Thank you, Master. That was wonderful.”
Aldon gave a quick nod, not trusting his voice. He cleared his throat. “You can finish up, and then get changed. There are some clothes for you on the table.” Henri nodded. Aldon left the room, quietly shutting the door behind them. Then he leaned back against it, head tilted back, and smiled.
Tag list: @thecitythatdoesntsleep @whump-cravings @thecyrulik @neverthelass @michelleswhumpyreblogs @whumpsy-daisy
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cinnamonest · 3 years ago
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I’m pushing out another one of my long-since-drafted things to the queue bc I’m trying to start keeping the queue active 24/7 and fill more asks but have this in the meantime
//dark shit, like the blood gore violence kind of yandere not the hot kind, brief animal death, gruesome slow npc death, gore, violence, blood, decaying/putrefaction mention
I'm really bad at judging what's mild versus severe when it comes to gore/blood bc I tend to underestimate, I think this is kinda severe? Let me know which it is actually pls so I have a better idea for the future ---------------------------------------- I mentioned a while back in the corpse disposal post and murder methods post that Razor can be... Brutal to say the least, but to expand more on the concept I feel like there's a big potential for a sort of gap moe with him, a duality that seems to contradict itself. Because in many ways he's a sweetheart, always trying to find things to make you happy, often smiling with those wide, excited eyes, physically affectionate with nuzzles and the like. But the other side of that, he's not actually aware of how... desensitized he is. You notice it early on and it catches you off guard a bit the first time it happens. Some poor little animal you two see struggling, like a bird stuck in a tree, and you urge him to go get it and he nods and says ok. Grabs it, and just as you're about to thank him and let it go you hear its little bones snap under the crush of his grip with a final pained chirp. There, he got it, see? Now you two can eat it together. That was why you wanted him to grab it right? To kill it? Why else? He looks down and realizes oh, it's still twitching, so he reached a hand up and twists its neck. There, now it's dead, he says with a beaming smile. But it falls and he tilts his head when he sees the shocked look on your face. What's wrong? Why are you so upset? You soon learn a lot of the animals don't... die immediately. The little things the wolves drag back are still kicking and struggling, still making noises as they tear into them to devour. It makes you sick to your stomach when you witness it, tears come to your eyes. He knows you don't like it and warns you, but... he doesn't understand why? Why does it upset you like that? He doesn't get it. It's a gnawing awareness in the back of your mind. You start to pick up on his... lack of reactions to certain things. You were once in the church getting healing for a minor wound of his when another group of adventurers came rushing through the doors, desperately begging for help for their friend they were carrying... some guy seriously injured, gored by a boar. The sight is burned in your mind forever, the organs spilling out of his split gut, the shivering and wide, bloodshot eyes, the blood bubbling out of his mouth with choked horrific groans and the way his body convulsed involuntarily. The most horrid thing you'd ever seen. And you were pretty certain it was that way for everyone. Everyone in the church was gasping, some people were retching and trying to hold back sickness, people ran out of the room as they were unable to handle the scene, tears were in everyone's eyes, and as the man wailed in agony from them setting his dislocated bones, you watched the bystanders cringe and wince. Every person in the vicinity was visibly horrified.... except for one. Razor's face was neutral. Curious. He leaned in closer to get a better look, eyebrows raised. He doesn't flinch at the sight of organs spilling onto the ground and the man starting to convulse and foam at the mouth as his eyes roll back into his head. And then, after a moment, he asks if you're ready to leave, says he feels better now and that man is really loud, he doesn't like it. His voice doesn't even have the slightest hint of a wavering or discomfort. When you come across a man in the woods caught in a bear trap, you can barely stand to look at it. Just hearing the cries for help had you shivering, and the sight of the pooling blood and utter agony on the man's face had you gasping, hand over your mouth as you tried to look away. ...Razor didn't seem to mind, though. He just undoes the trap and, without giving the man any warning, yanks it apart, pulling the spikes from his legs. As he does, blood shoots out and splatters on his face. He doesn't flinch, nor when the man screams. He does finally seem to react to the pained groans the man makes. But... It's not like your reactions. He's not flinching and grimacing, drawing in sharp breaths and tensing up, eyes watering in pity and shock like you. Instead, his eyes narrow and he puts his hands over his ears as you stoop down to help the poor man. His eyebrows furrow. He almost looks... Annoyed. He draws his foot back as if he's about to kick him, but freezes with realization when he looks at you, as if he forgot you were standing there, and puts his foot back down. You're certain he wasn't actually going to do that, of course. You're not sure why he did that, but... He wouldn't do something like that, even in a moment of dissociation from his human awareness. He does volunteer to be the one to go get help, though, getting away fast, but for some reason you sense it was more out of irritation at the noise rather than horror at the whole thing. Perhaps the worst was the decomposing body, that day you took a walk in the woods together. He smelled it first, nose wrinkling up in disgust at the putrid smell. But it was strong enough that you smelled it soon after. He says having dead animals this close to the residence of the pack is not good, they all hate the smell, so he can try to move the carcass of whatever animal it is... but it's not an animal, it turns out, once you finally find the source, collapsed at the bottom of a cliff from where they most likely fell to their death. Well, it's kind of a stretch to say it still resembles a human either, but you can tell from the general shape. It's more just like a glob, putrefied and rotting flesh falling off the bones. It shocks you so much you fall backwards, but he just moves closer. Ugh, too far rotted to move, he can't do anything about it, he realizes as he gives the decaying mass a kick and watches the blackened flesh slide off the bones. Oh well. ...In your shock, it takes you a moment to realize how... unbothered he seems. Mildly annoyed by the smell, but his expression is neutral as he looks at one of the most horrifying sights you've ever seen, he just yawns as he walks away from it and says you two should get away from the smell, it makes his head hurt.
The events all linger in the back of your head. A growing sense of wrongness, a dark, cold dread that settles in your stomach as the occurrences slowly grow in number, one after the other, each time you notice the complete lack of any sign of disturbance on his face, in his voice or body language. You ask him once, one time when you get the courage to ask such a... potentially offensive question. Don't you... feel anything when you see things dying? When they're in pain? He nods. He gets what you mean. The feeling when you watch something die. Hungry, right? Oh, no? Maybe you mean the irritation, a kind of angry feeling, what's the word... impatient...? Because the thing is taking too long to die and he wants it to go ahead and die already. Or maybe you mean like when that man was injured? When something is dying but it's not something you wanna eat? Yeah, he has a feeling then too. Um... kind of like anger... you taught him the word once... annoyed? They make so much noise, and he doesn't like loud things. When that man came into the church... he didn't like how loud it was. Why didn't they just kill him, since he was making so much noise...? He doesn't get it. When things annoy him, he kills them, like loud birds and biting bugs. He kinda had an urge to just... reach out and make the man stop screaming, just twist his neck like he does small animals when they make too much noise. But he's smart, he says, he knows the other people might get mad. Yes, he uses the word "might," not "would," as if it was a mere possibility. So it doesn't really come as a surprise when the same attitude applies to the people at his own mercy, the people that get too close to you and end up dragged out to the woods. It's that same knowing dread in your gut, and while it horrifies you as much as it always has, you wouldn't have expected anything else. Maybe some people would feel bad about what they're doing, they would want to go ahead and get it over with, they couldn't take the begging and agony the other party is in... but not only is he totally unbothered, but if he kills him now, he says, the blood will go all over the ground, and that's bad, his lupical like eating the blood in things. So he just snaps the man's bones, that way he won't run away. It's hard to describe the excruciated noises that come out of the other's throat when he does. It's unlike any noise you've ever heard a human make, that kind of pain. The sweat that pours from the other's skin from the agony, the way his mouth hangs open even when he can't scream anymore, the trembling and muffled begging as he moves to the next limb. You tremble and cry. You shiver uncontrollably, you whimper for him to stop. Your eyes widen when he grabs each limb and you close your eyes and sob and grimace and cringe with the snapping sound. Razor, on the other hand, stays just as neutral as before. Face blank and empty, as if performing any other mundane task. He doesn't flinch at the snapping. His expression is unchanging at the sound of screams and the groans as he drags the still-living figure behind him by his shattered ankle all the way back home. When he finally goes to look back at you, he tilts his head at the look on your face. Why do you still look upset? There's no blood yet... isn't it blood that makes you upset? Maybe not? Maybe it's the sound that bothers you? Yeah, you flinch whenever the man groans in pain, so it must be the sounds of the dying things that you don't like, it annoys him too really. Ok, that can be fixed... sound comes from the throat right? Well, he left his claymore a ways away so, it'll just take a second, the guy is thrashing a bit but eventually he holds him still enough to get his teeth latched around his throat and just... bites down. The sound is a squelching, crunching sound, one that you'll never forget, it makes every hair on your body stand on end and your skin crawl. He pulls back with the mass of bleeding flesh and tracheal tissue in his jaws and spits it out on the ground. There, see...? You can see the blood on his teeth reflecting the light as he smiles. He's not making noises anymore, so... why do you still have that look on your face? Is it because the body on the ground is all... spasming and convulsing like that? Well, uh... that'll stop soon, probably. At least it's nice and quiet now. He gets it, really, he doesn't like loud noises either.
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fairyoftbz · 3 years ago
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a rewritten faith | l. juyeon
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🪕 pairing: bartender! reader x cow-boy! juyeon 🪕 word count: 4k 🪕 genre: western! au, 1920s!au kinda?, angst to fluff 🪕 tw: mentions of violence, guns, fights, close death experience, deceased father, false accusations, swear words, the reader has some trauma 🪕 synopsis: you are the owner of the local saloon and something usual will happen, but it will take an unexpected turn. 🪕 a/n: i had this idea while watching a western film with my dad and i hope it's not gonna be too bad... 🪕 requested: no
╰☆☆☆☆╮
Your head turned to look at the entrance as the swing doors of the saloon burst open, two sergeants dragging another man inside, his face and body littered in bruises and cuts. He winced in pain as they shoved him against the counter not far from you, both giving him a hard slap at the back of the skull. With an attentive eye, you kept on polishing your whiskey glass with your used piece of cloth, watching everybody’s attention drawn towards the three men.
“You bloody bastard! Did you really think that you would get away with that? Raising your voice at Sir Landfield and seducing his daughter to use her for your own needs? Who did you think you were, the sheriff?” the entire pub erupted into a coarse laugh, some men hitting their pistol against the wooden tables to express their mockery. You, along with the waitresses, were the only ones to remain silent, your eyes darkening as you kept on drying your glasses. “I never touched Sir Landfield’s dau-” “Enough, bastard!” one of them yelled and punched him in the face, blood now oozing from the young man’s nose as his head swung to the side at the violence of the blow. He stumbled on the right, his wounded hand quickly grabbing the counter to prevent him from falling.
The church bells rang as it announced another hour of the day, the wind shifting some dirt and sand off the ground. Quickly glancing outside, you noticed a convoy drawn by horses walking down the main street, their whinnying getting louder as the man guiding them whipped their back and sides sharply.
“Gentlemen. What did your good-for-nothing do to our town? And what brings y’all in my father’s saloon?” you asked, the attention shifting from the culprit to you. You arched a brow as you slid the whisky glass you’ve just finished cleaning and another one across the counter, walking over the liquors to fill it for the men with their habitual orders.
“Ah,” one of them grunted. “This bastard thought he was the best in town and started arguing with Lord Landfield over some laws. He threatened him and even tried to get into his daughter’s panties!” one of them shouted as you poured alcohol into their glasses, noticing an arrogant smile plastered on his face. You didn’t like where this was going.
The culprit raised his eyes at you from his stool and observed you working, your orbs boring into his for a quick second before looking away to grab another bottle of liquor.
“Well, I’m pretty sure he had some good reasons to speak his mind to the mayor. Does he have a name?” you smirked as you placed a glass of herbal liquor in front of the soon-to-be-dead gentleman. He thanked you by a brief nod, and his face contorted into a grimace as he rose his glass to his lips, downing the drink in one go.
“He deserves to be hung by the balls, he’s from the Lees! Lee Juyeon! No one touches the mayor’s daughter like that except her husband!” the man on the left banged his fist onto the wooden counter, making everyone applaud and raise their glass at the idea.
Of course, you disagreed with their horrendous methods, but who were you to counter. Since you didn’t want to be the next in line, hung and burnt alive, you preferred to keep your mouth shut and observe.
“I never touched her!” exclaimed the-said Lee Juyeon but was quick to get shut up. “You don’t get to speak up, you piece of shit! If I said that you touched her, you did, end of the story!” Another man threw his fist right into the apparent lawbreaker’s nose, who immediately wiped his blood-spattered face on the side of his dirty shirt and spat on the floor.
You could tell that Juyeon was surprised by everyone’s agreement, trying his best to hide the fear in his eyes by clutching his jaw. One of the stablemen left the pub for a quick second before coming back, holding a long, white rope with a dirty smile on his face. Faces lit up in delight when he skilfully threw it in the air and swirled it around one of the massive wooden joists before tying a slipknot on the other end. The young man’s hand clutched around his glass, and he stared at you, noticing a hint of despair behind his two dark brown orbits.
You’ve seen many men and women in his state, but for once, you spotted something different. Sincerity, pain, and hopelessness could be observed in this man’s behaviour. He looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly, but you also knew that men were good at lying and being pitied when it was needed. However this time, for some reasons, you felt your heart pinch at the visible fear daunting the cowboy.
The men of law sat down at a table near the swinging doors and lit up their cigars thanks to the waitress’ matches, only to slap her butt as a thank-you. She giggled like a teen girl, which made you even more sickened by the situation than you already were, many people emptying the saloon in fear of witnessing death.
“Oi bastard, are you thinking of a way to shag the bartender before your sentence? She’s pretty cute, right?” one of the officers yelled as the delinquent’s eyes lingered on your working figure. You sent them a death glare, and they elbowed each other with a dirty grin, the idea of shooting them between the eyes titillated your mind for a quick second. “Try not to get us thrown out, she can be pretty rough, just like her father,” you heard them snicker, and you turned around to sigh and roll your eyes, trying not to get arrested either by ‘disrespecting’ them, even if it looked really tempting.
Abruptly, the oldest officer pushed a chair with his foot towards the young man, puffing some smoke out of his mouth, the action leaving a greyish trail lingering above their bald, dirty-minded heads. The stableman grabbed the man from the counter and forced him to get on the chair before shoving his head inside the slipknot and tightened it.
Exhaling sharply as it already happened too many times since your father passed away and bequeathed the saloon to you, you closed your eyes and looked away, mentally cursing the sheriff for choosing your tavern for doing such horrible acts of what they called ‘justice’.
“So, Lee, any last words before we shoot you in the head?” one of the officers insolently said as he expertly swirled his pistol in his hand, his other holding the cigar close to his mouth. From where you were, you could see the culprit gritting his teeth, trying to remain neutral.
“No, I don’t. Because I have done anything wrong, except expressing my honest opinion to the sheriff. And, as much as you want me to, I never laid a finger on his daughter,” the man spat confidently, only to have the two officers and some other men around the saloon unpleasantly shaking their heads.
“I can’t believe it. Even at the edge of death, he’s still willing to lie,” locking the cylinder before lowering the hammer of his revolver, the officer pointed his weapon towards the young man, who stayed as still as possible.
Everyone stared at the scene with intensity, some drinking their liquors or taking puffs of cigars like they were watching and enjoying some entertainment. The culprit was staring intensely at the officers, making them understand that he wasn’t scared of the gun nor facing death. You, on the other hand, were exhausted of those illegal actions and atrocious scenes that already happened when your father was still from this world. Luckily, he always made sure to give you to the tailor next door when such things happened, but it wasn’t really helpful since you became responsible for the aftermath at a very age.
They weren’t the ones that got rid of the dead bodies they shot inside your establishment, they weren’t the ones crazily rubbing the dirt and dried blood off the wooden counter or ventilating the building to get rid of the gory, metallic smell lingering around, nor were they the ones getting scared and sick of working in such sordid conditions. Some graphic execution scenes were still lingering in your mind even years later and shocking you to the point of getting sick and wobbly for a few days, getting flashbacks of the gun firing off. No matter how many people you saw dying in the saloon or while walking around town after witnessing some settling of scores, you would never get used to this sleazy, corrupted method of getting rid of people.
And this case was the last straw. You could not handle another bloody situation, where people would be cheering and happily exiting the saloon as if nothing happened, leaving you mortified and scarred for the nth time behind.
As the sergeant was about to pull the trigger, you were swift to get out your dad’s revolver from the small compartment under the counter and shoot the wooden beam in two precise bullets. The waitresses shrieked and the rest of the souls populating the saloon flinched, hands going to protect their head and ears. You shot the wood three other times to make some dust and pieces fall to confuse everyone, hiding some bullets in your corset before going around the counter and grab the man by the sleeve. Among all the panicked people trying to rush out of the saloon, you dragged the man out through the back door, letting one of the waitresses take the control of the saloon.
“Come on, we don’t have a lot of time!” you said out of breath, the muddy ground staining the pans of your dress with a dark brown colour. The man looked still shocked to have narrowly dodged death, catching his breath as your hands were fumbling with the knot keeping your horse close to the wall. Seizing the reins with a soft yet skilled hold, you were quick to slide your foot in the stirrup and swing your leg over the beast, extending your hand for the man to take it.
He messily placed his foot on the wooden fence and jumped behind you, his hand still in yours as the fence collapsed under his weight. You felt his jerky breaths fanning your neck as you commanded the horse to race off.
“Ya! Ya!” you angrily yelled, repeatedly squeezing your legs around the horse for it to go faster as you heard some gravelly voices lingering around the saloon. Your horse neighed and picked up the pace, its hooves hammering the dried ground of the main street as you bolted out of the town. “Lower your head, we need to go faster!” you yelled and the man obeyed, your heart pulsating in your temples as you heard some screams and people opening fire towards you, bullets going through a few wooden wains from the neighbouring houses.
“Sorry about the fence,” the man whispered and you shook your head, eyes still focused on the dusty road. “That’s the least of my worries right now. Hold onto me instead so we can lose them faster,” you spat and whipped the reins on the horse’s neck, the man’s large hands landing onto your waist. “What’s your name, by the way?” he yelled so his voice wouldn’t be covered by the horse’s noises, and you slightly turned your head to the side. “Y/N,” You simply answered, trying to ignore his hands on you as he was accused of inappropriately touching the mayor’s daughter and pushed your feet down the stirrups as you went up a hill.
The town was quick to disappear behind you as you hurried into the taiga, following the winding trail as fast as possible. The lawbreaker was still holding onto your waist, his hold strengthening as you didn’t seem to be ready to slow down anytime soon. The concentrated look on your face didn’t subside at all, sometimes looking back to make sure that you weren’t being followed.
Your heart skipped a beat as your horse jumped over the railway line, his hooves toughly landing on the floor as the way started going downhill again, the man behind you hitting his chin against your shoulder due to the force of the impact. He mumbled a quick apology, but you didn’t even hear it, the wind blowing in your ears preventing any sound to reach you.
You finally ordered the horse to slow down as you reached another dense forest, the air feeling chiller as the sun was struggling to get through the infinite branches of sharpened pine needles. You and Juyeon kept your head low, the latter pushing his hat further onto his head to protect his already severely injured face from the spiky needles. He let out a small hum of surprise when you reached a small cottage with a wide range of greenery surrounding it, not expecting someone to live here. The air was so pure and fresh that it almost hurt your lungs, with no sign of tobacco smoke or dust from the road to poison your inner organs.
Getting off the horse, you drew the gun out of your corset and removed the bullets, tossing the revolver on a lonely stump. The man recoiled at the sight of the weapon, but instantly relaxed as you went behind the cottage. He grunted in pain as he got off the horse, giving it a gentle tap and rub its muzzle. It snorted quickly and turned around, walking further into the greenery to relax from the intensive workout you went through.
When you came back, the cottage key in hand, your gaze fell on the man leaning against a trunk, dried blood and cuts still covering his face. His bottom lip was split open, and his cheekbones were bruised, eyes bloodied by the dust and the several hits he received from the men of law. You sighed as you stared at him, hand sliding in the key and unlock the door.
“Come in,” you said as you pushed the door open, walking across the room to draw the curtains out.
Juyeon slowly limped inside, eyes travelling around the small living room, falling straight on a chair after placing your dad’s revolver on the table, the wood creaking under the collision. He groaned in pain and closed his eyes tightly, his jaw twitching as he suffered in silence.
You gave him some privacy and walked to the kitchen, getting some wood planks and a bunch of herbs and weeds from one of the cabinets. Just like your dad had taught you, you lit up a fire in the chimney and hung a small cauldron to the chain. You stood back up, the room getting filled with a heavy silence, not really sure of how to act with a possible criminal in your secret home. He sighed and groaned in pain many times as you prepared a brew and some lukewarm water to freshen up.
His worried eyes met yours as you heavily placed a wooden basin with steaming water on the table next to him, your hands sinking a piece of cloth in the warm water and twisting it.
“Take off your shirt, I need to clean and check your wounds,” you monotonously said, and the man’s hands hovered above his top, hesitantly undoing the first few buttons while looking outside.
He gulped as he exposed his torso to you, your eyes widening in shock for a quick second at the state of it. He got beaten up severely, red, and purple areas already littering his entire thorax. The bruises looked excruciating and probably caused some inner injuries, hence his unnatural movements.
You quickly pulled his shirt away from his body and ditched it on the table, eyes now wandering around his arms. He was pretty muscular – you couldn't neglect the steel-craved abs embellishing his torso – but the cuts and wounds were critical enough to damage the view.
Starting by cleaning his wounds and body with the piece of cloth, Juyeon tried his best to remain still, but it got intolerable at some point. He started hissing and cursing – not at you, he was grateful that you were willing to put yourself in danger to save and take care of him – but more in pain, his eyes flooding with anger as he recalled the sergeants’ faces and their accusations.
“You know,” the man started through gritted teeth before groaning as the piece of cloth grazed against a sensitive laceration on his collarbone, “I didn’t touch the sheriff’s daughter. I'd never touch a woman like that despite what they want everyone to believe,” you quickly looked at him in the eyes and chuckled, your hand delicately grasping his wrist to lift his arm to clean the residues of the cut on the side of the torso.
“I think it’s impossible for you to do so,” your voice trailed as you focused on your task, the man questioningly looking at you. “How so?” “She’s on the other side of the world, probably a thousand miles away from us. Serena is a successful woman, she’s sacred to her father. You probably saw her mother strutting around town like she’s the next queen, which is something quite ridiculous but funny at the same time. Serena is the pride of the family because she got married to an Australian businessman and is now living like a good middle-class person, you know?” his eyes widened as you explained everything to him, his tongue clicking in frustration.
“Lies? I became the scapegoat of those assholes for lies?” you defeatedly sighed and shrugged as the man was furrowing his brows, getting upset. “Welcome to our town, I guess. It is how we, no they, make the peace reign there. We all know that nobody shouldn’t mess with the mayor, but I guess that you are not from here, so you miserably fell into his trap,” you offered him a compassionate smile and carried on with cleaning him, wiping your damp hands on your dress as you got back to the fireplace.
You came back with the cauldron, hands enveloped in the wet piece of cloth as you gently plunged it in the water, Juyeon flinching at the steam surfacing from the warm-cold impact. Your eyes focused on the plant-based mixture you had prepared to heal and sanitise his injuries, following your grandma’s textbook to the letter.
Juyeon groaned again at the warm solution being applied on his body, feeling his skin itch and burn as you kept rubbing the product in. He looked up as you focused on your task, now rubbing his arm while holding his limb with a certain grace. On your face, he could discern some sadness and exhaustion hidden in your features, his mind wandering to what possibly happened to you to be in this situation.
“And you?” he started with a more hesitant voice as if he was scared to frighten a deer, “what made you the bartender of this saloon?” your hand quickly stopped working but resumed almost instantly, but Juyeon noticed.
“Owner,” you corrected, and his eyes widened, an impressed look painted on his face, “I am the only survivor in my family, they all died from sickness or old age. I became the owner of the saloon as soon as my father passed away. He was in this horrible business, letting the authorities do their dirty work inside the bar, away from prying, curious eyes. Of course, since I am a woman and is only good at taking care of children and clean, they keep coming here no matter how many times I refused. I, fortunately, didn’t have to witness every single execution when I was young, but it still sends me into anxiety fits when it happens. I’ve seen a lot of people going through what you’ve just escaped from and it’s almost impossible to get rid of the flashbacks,” you briefly explained, feeling the tears well up in your throat at the mention of your deceased father and harrowing trauma, but you swallowed thickly and repressed your emotions, keeping a neutral face.
“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean it,” he mumbled, and you shook your head, wetting your hands in the basin to quickly get rid of any remaining substance. “It’s fine,” you emotionlessly said, hurrying back in the kitchen to get some time alone.
Juyeon didn’t mean to hurt you by stirring some hurtful memories, but of course, curiosity killed the cat. Thanks to you, he had escaped his humiliating death sentence, and all he did was unintentionally pressing the wrong buttons. Agonisingly, he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes as he got up, the room slightly spinning as he limped towards the kitchen to come to you. Your shoulders were heaving up and down as you attempted to muffle your cries and silence your emotions, not wanting to break down in a room with a man other than your father. It was one rule that you forced yourself to follow, not wanting to appear weak to anyone's eyes.
“I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention to hurt you like that,” his cavernous voice resonated against the walls of the empty kitchen, making you wince and quickly wipe your face with trembling hands before turning around. “How could you know?” you said with puffy eyes, the sight squeezing Juyeon’s heart as you tried to give him what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. He slowly walked to you and took a gentle hold of your trembling wrists, his chocolate orbs boring into your own. The gaze that you had found quite intimidating a few minutes ago when he was angry against his attackers currently held something completely different. It wasn’t pity as you were used to when you brought up your past, but something more like compassion and tenderness.
“Y/N. I know I'm a complete stranger and a criminal in your eyes, but I wanna help you the way you did for me,” he started, and you stared at the ground, trying to get off his grip. “I don’t need help,” you mumbled, but he didn’t let you go, the grasp around your forearms tightening but still felt consoling.
“Yes, yes you do. Withdrawing yourself into silence won't solve anything, it will only give prominence to your sadness and scars and prevent you from moving on. You don't have anyone to talk to about it anymore, you keep everything to yourself and stay stuck in this state of distress. You helped me avoid death and run away, so let me assist you in breaking away from your past. At least allow me to try,” he whispered those words to you as if he was afraid someone else would hear.
Tears blurred your vision, something that didn't ordinarily happen when the discussion topic was your father. You always managed to hold back your tears, but for reasons that were still unknown to you, with Juyeon, it was like your brain allowed him to see your raw, true side for some reason, despite knowing him for less than an hour. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t from your town and wouldn’t be telling your secrets to anyone else to cause you harm or humiliation.
“One trauma at a time. You need to get some rest first,” you countered his argument by guiding him out of the kitchen, and Juyeon let out a chuckle, frustrated that you cared more about his well-being than yours. “Very well then, but promise me you'll let me help,” he asked as you walked him into the rocking seat where your grandfather used to take his nap when he was still in your life.
"We'll see," you whispered, helping him to sit down before giving him a small smile. He let go of one of your wrists and lifted your hand to his face, placing a kiss on the back of your hand while never breaking eye contact, the action of chivalry making your heart skip a beat.
"Thank you for everything you have done for me," He mumbled before kissing your hand again, his damaged lips curving into a smile as you let your hand linger in his, against his mouth.
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jjaeong · 4 years ago
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And If I Still Have Feelings, Will You Accept It This Time? (Triple Threat Confessions).
Series:  KPOP Girl Group: 이달의 소녀 (LOONA).
Pairing: Kim Hyunjin & High School Student/Idol Female Reader.
Summary: Y/L/N Y/N was never the center of attention when she was a student, she was never really recognized by her peers because she blended in so well in the academy—until news broke out after their graduation that she was debuting as a soloist under a big company. With that, Y/N’s name grew into the entertainment scene, her songs topping the charts—even having enough credit to be called in to guest MC for a KCON event, which the idol did not even think twice about accepting. As rumors of Y/N being assigned to the Global Girl Group LOONA’s event, both artists’ fans were thrilled with the interaction. Well, you could say other than Y/N and LOONA’s second member Kim Hyunjin—who blatantly had confessed to having feelings for the soloist before they she had debuted.
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“You’re looking again, Y/N-ah? Really? You do know about the dating rumors between her and Jeon Heejin.. Right?”
Your eyes stayed glued on the view outside the window, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you continued to watch the Track team jog down the field—particularly on the laughing brunette who won’t stop smiling to herself while she pushed a few of her teammates, teasing her for some reason you could only wonder about. The girl made a turn around the track so your view of her flushed features were blocked, giving you the opportunity to scan the field for the figure that usually lingers somewhere around the area. And there she was, impossible to miss—stunning visuals even from your view through the window of the fourth floor, Jeon Heejin, on her phone as she talked to her friends and a few followers flocking around her.
She didn’t seem to be paying attention to her best friend at all, almost as if she just decided to drop by and talk to the Track Athlete—who also doubled as the second member of the idol’s recently debuted girl group—before leaving and continuing about her day, coming back after classes to walk home with the girl.
“Seriously, if I was Kim Hyunjin I would be worried that you’re my Sasaeng or something..”
“Will you cut it out? She’s just watching—God, you act like Y/N is obsessed with her. Everyone’s acting like they’re obsessed with Kim Hyunjin and Jeon Heejin!”
They were right about one thing though, about everyone being obsessed over those two, you couldn’t entirely understand it but you had guessed that everyone suddenly wanted to be friends with the two because they were idols. But through your eyes, they were just like you—just two girls finishing their last year in High School, and excluding the fact that none of your schoolmates knew that you had already signed a contract that locked you into the idol life after you’ve graduated. But some of your closest friends knew, and the said close “friends” being ITZY’s Shin Ryujin—who was actually the one that told you about being friends with the two, and endlessly raved about them as you mentioned that you were schoolmates.
All of this happening while these girls around you, these "friends" of yours who knew nothing about how you’d cover it up to them that your late night expeditions were just cram school but in reality—it was actually practice. 
Though watching this was insane to you, the sudden spike in recognition—people they’ve never talked to acting like they’ve been friends forever, being pulled to the side for a picture, all the attention they’ve never had suddenly there because.. They became a figure. You could say that you were watching the two not because you were in awe, but rather—taking notes, what to do and what not to do, and you were learning a lot. And with the information you gathered, you’ve concluded that Kim Hyunjin and Jeon Heejin really are good people, but for now at least—you didn’t want to be associated with them. 
Just for the entire potential pre-debut drama that might come with it after you’ve debuted.
“They’re really pretty.” you commented, just to entice whatever reason it was for your classmates trying to converse with you for. They were never really your friends, and definitely are not after the continuous spiteful remarks they’d pitch in whenever they’d hear about the two idols.
It wasn’t that you hated these girls, but you just can’t be friends with people that are overpowered by envy.
“Of course they are, they’re idols, Y/N. Ugh, whatever—I’m going back to my seat.” you didn’t even bother to check if they actually had left, but you just kept your eyes locked on Kim Hyunjin who was now sitting on the field. You continued to observe until your teacher entered the room, which made you tear your eyes away from the scene to stand up to greet her along with your classmates.
Completely missing Kim Hyunjin’s piercing gaze directed on your figure through the window from the field.
“Come on! Aren’t you the least bit excited? You’re debuting in three days!” 
You had stayed in school for a bit longer after being called into the faculty, your adviser reminding you about the award that would be given to you in the ceremony for your debut date—asking you if you were still going to go for it, and congratulating you along the way. And just as you were slipping your shoes on, Ryujin called to suddenly bombard you with congratulatory messages—all while you can hear the speakers behind her blasting ITZY’s songs which had meant that the girl was currently practicing, but decided to call you through her break.
As if you weren’t going to get Tteokbokki later once she’s finished, something about it being an advanced celebration for both of you graduating and your own debut day—because you would both be too busy on the said date.
“I’m too hungry to think about that right now, you know how I’ve been on diet since last week's photoshoot—this is the only time my manager said it’s okay to eat whatever I want..”
“He’s scared of me, as he should be. I’ll beat him up if you pass out in the practice room again..”
“Seriously, Ryujin you are—”
“Kim Hyunjin!” you stopped just before the entrance of the building, tentative steps pulling you closer to the side of the building. The back of an unfamiliar schoolmate of yours was the first image that had greeted you as you peeked—making you clamp a hand on your mouth, stepping away from their view once you saw the dark look casted on the face of the track-suit wearing idol who looked down at the girl with the yellow letter in hand.
“Please accept my feelings, Kim Hyunjin!”
Your heart hammered heavily in your chest, quickly tapping the red button on the screen of your phone—something that you can only apologize to Ryujin for later, but that isn’t important right now. As of the moment, you knew you weren’t supposed to be lingering—you should be willing yourself further to leave the area because this was something private, it was a situation that can only be resolved by the two people involved, but all you could think of was that..
You wouldn’t know how to deal with this either, this was a girl and—it wasn’t entirely wrong for idols to have same sex relationships because even the opposite would be considered a scandal. If Kim Hyunjin were to accept this.. If she were to even consider this.. Right now just when she had just debuted..
“Why?” Hyunjin’s cold voice pierced through the silence, the tone even making your own heart drop but your mind quickly raced to find an explanation you would use if you were in the idol’s place.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so harsh—I just can’t be in a relationship right now, I’ve just started my career..”
“I—well, you’re cool! And you’re pretty! You like the things I like—”
“I’m really sorry, maybe we could at least be friends?”
“No! There’s more! There’s..” the girl pulled her phone out to show Hyunjin something, making the idol lean a bit closer to stare at whatever it was and from the way her lips pulled into a frown—it was something that had made her even more upset, somehow, “I went to your first fan signing event, and look—even the 1/3 one too! Look, if you would just give me a chance—”
“And that’s enough for you to say you love me?” your fingers clenched around your phone at the dry laugh Hyunjin let out, your patience wearing thin as the idol continued to push the poor girl. The girl stammered for a moment, making you slightly peek to find a look of disbelief on Hyunjin’s face—not at all seeming to be mocking the girl but actual concern, as if she wanted to actually get into the root of why she had confessed in the first place.
For a moment, once you heard her dry laugh—you thought that the girl had really lost it, with her idol mask dropped. But how she had carefully stared at the girl, how her fingers seemed to dig themselves into the hem of her jacket.. She was worried.
“You only love me.. Because I’m an idol?”
“Stop—I didn’t say that! You’re putting words into my mouth—why are you being such a bitch!?” Hyunjin visibly flinched at the sharp tone of the girl who fumed at her statement, making you also tense up in your spot.
This.. This isn’t supposed to be how it’s supposed to go. The unknown girl was just supposed to walk away crying, something along those lines but not hate on the girl—she says she loves her but.. This isn’t..
“Your name is Yoon Jiyeon, right?” the idol asked, inhaling deeply as the toxic girl stayed silent—giving Hyunjin enough time to straighten herself and give her a polite smile, “Jiyeon-ah, thank you for being my fan. But I think you should consider how you treat people first, be kinder to them—because if you end up actually liking someone, and this is exactly how you treat them.. Jiyeon-ah, you’ll end up alone.” you could feel the blood draining from your face at Hyunjin’s unfiltered words, knowing that it was enough to put the final nail in her career’s coffin if it ever got out. 
And with the sharp sound of the girl’s hand connecting with Hyunjin’s cheek, your phone dropped in your hand and the sound made Hyunjin’s vacant eyes snap to yours, which quickly widened as she realized that it was you.
“I got that all on voice record—I knew this would happen, say goodbye to your career Kim Hyunjin!” the girl sneered at Hyunjin before turning to leave, which made her face you—the annoyed look on her face flashing into shock for a moment, until it snapped back to annoyance once more.
“What are you looking at, loser? Get lost!” she hissed as she walked closer to you, aiming to walk past you as your eyes stayed locked on the phone she shakily held in her hand.
What were you thinking?
“Yah! Give it back!”
You should’ve just minded your own business.
“No—How dare you humiliate me! You bitch!”
You just wanted to watch, like the usual.
“Run!” you felt a hand grab yours, dragging you away from the girl and the crushed phone by the side of the wall as your feet did it’s best to keep up with the speed of the girl that pulled you past the school gate—with the girl that you both had just left screaming as she practically pulled her hair out. The burning in your thighs didn’t cease, your head turning to face the image of the girl you had always watched from the fourth floor window—smooth dark brown strands of hair lightening just as the sun setting in front of you two caressed them, the cold evening slowly creeping in but that didn’t matter at the moment.
You just ran, wherever the girl was leading you through the side-walk with her laughter in the background—you just followed.
“..I can’t believe that just happened!”
She’s even more prettier up close.
“I really thought I was done for—you’re crazy, Y/N!”
Her voice.. How is it so soothing?
“I need to get a new phone..”
“Ah—give me a second,” you looked back at Kim Hyunjin who was now sitting next to you on the bench outside of the ice cream store, both of you holding onto a popsicle that was her treat as she fished something out of her pocket, reaching over to grab your free hand and place your phone which now had a cracked screen on it. You frowned at the sight which made Hyunjin laugh, leaning back on her seat as she looked across the street and to the view of the sun setting over the river—her eyes moving back to your figure as you sighed in relief when the device seemed to still be working, opening a series of spammed messages which you quickly replied to.
Hyunjin wondered who the contact name Ryujin was.
“I’ll get you a new phone on my next paycheck.” your alarmed eyes quickly snapped to Hyunjin’s unbothered ones, making you shake your head as the sides of her lips almost pulled into an amused smile—but she had stopped herself.
“That’s not necessary—I was actually on my way out when I decided to snoop around, It’d make me feel bad if you’d think this is your fault..”
“So? Feel bad then.” you gaped at the bluntness that came from the idol, not expecting that she wasn’t all cookie cutter—even with how she handled the girl from earlier, she didn’t have to act like this with everyone.. Or can she?
“Y/N-ah, you’re from class 1B right?” Hyunjin asked nonchalantly, as if you didn’t really have to reply because she knew everything already. Though it almost felt that way, you can never be too sure so you just nodded—looking at the scene in front of the both of you. 
She didn’t really need more people staring at her at this point.
“This might sound stupid, since Heejin and I’s name’s are practically always mentioned during every assembly but—I’m Kim Hyunjin. Nice to finally meet you.”
Finally?
“How did you know my name? Hyunjin?” Hyunjin didn’t reply for a moment, so you turned to check up on her—apparently, she was just caught up staring at you before she blinked, forming an ‘o’ shape with her mouth. Furrowing her brows and looking as if she was trying to remember where exactly she had heard your name from, and when she had finally recalled it—she smiled at you.
“I was checking out clubs when we first transferred, you were the only one in the music room and a member approached me before I could talk to you. There weren’t any meetings that day apparently, they told me your name.” you knitted your brows in confusion, not being able to recall a memory of her—other than when you started watching them from your window of course—but this was oddly surprising, that she had known you way before you knew her apparently.
“Did they tell you, or did you ask?” you bit a piece off of your popsicle, not really seeing the question as a serious one—just a simple way of getting to talk with her more, but since Hyunjin didn’t respond you decided to apologize and tell her it was a stupid question to ask. But before you could even speak, Hyunjin laughed—more to herself than at your question, making you look at the grin plastered on the girl’s face.
“This can’t be real..”
“What can’t be real?” Hyunjin looked at you, something meaning to be said deep behind her eyes which made her laugh again and rise from the seat, glancing down at her melting yellow popsicle as she stood in front you—the sunlight casting an orange glow at the gentle eyes that had directed themselves at your curious ones.
“What?” you pressed further, making Hyunjin lean over to get in eye level with you as you did your best not to slightly move back because the position somehow made you a bit uneasy.
“I asked,” Hyunjin answered, making you release a barely audible hum in reply—counting down the seconds until she could finally give you some space to think, but as Hyunjin’s grin got bigger when you avoided her gaze she decided to give you what you want. Leaning back to her height and staring at the road behind her, “because I thought you were pretty.” she shrugged, making you almost drop your popsicle in your hand.
“But then I started to look for you everywhere, you know—not just in school, but mostly in school. You’re really hard to look for, do you know that, Y/N?” you gripped the wooden stick in your hands as you tried to think of what to reply but Hyunjin got back down to your level, hands resting on her knees as she eyed your popsicle stick and her own before trying to get you to look at her.
“You’re always in your classroom, in lunch you barely stay in the cafeteria with your friends—I see you in the library, in the courtyard, but after a few minutes you’re moving to another place. Y/N, the year is already over and you’re still all over the place, around this time you should already be home—”
“I was in the faculty, my adviser said she needed to talk to me.” you mumbled, which made her raise her brow and sigh as she looked at you—who continued to refuse to meet her eyes. How was it that the girl you've been watching from afar since her debut—was actually watching you at the same time? Even before you had been watching?
“..right, but you do know what this means right?” you turned to look at the expectant gaze of the idol, an inquisitive look on her features as you stared back with an contemplative expression.
“You’re confessing to me?”
“Yup, I know it sounds weird but—I just feel it, and I don’t even know you that well so.. There has to be a reason, right? I was planning to confess in graduation too!” you sighed, looking away from the girl as she stood back up on the soles of her feet to finish up the remains of her half-melted popsicle as she waited for your reply.
“Is it.. Because I’m cool? I’m pretty? Because I like the things you like..?”
“Hey! That’s not fair—” Hyunjin’s heart fluttered at the sight of your lips pulled up into a grin, followed by a laugh at the recollection of what had just happened and how that was practically the most odd thing that had ever happened to you—other than being scouted to be a soloist for one of the biggest idol companies in the entertainment industry.
Which reminded you..
“I’m sorry,” the idol tensed in her spot, the light feeling in her chest slowly disappearing as your smile turned into a somber one, “You don’t deserve to have your career hurt for liking a person of the same sex as you are.” you stood up from your seat, eyeing the darkened sky before meeting the look of disbelief on Hyunjin’s face.
“Is it because you’re.. Straight?”
“What? No—it’s because you’re an idol—”
“So? You’re not, is it because I’m—"
“Hyunjin, please listen,” you had placed a hand on her shoulder which made the girl’s wry smile quickly wiped from her face at the sight of the look of frustration on your features, inhaling deeply before shaking her slightly, “it’s not that I don’t feel anything for you—but this is not the right time to be thinking about yourself. There are literal lives on the line if you let yourself have this—it’s not just you, not just your members.. But your team, your employees, your fans that only wish the best for you until you reach the top.”
“I have feelings for you, Y/N. Can’t you see that—”
“I can see that you do, Hyunjin. But,” you stared at your hand on her shoulder, trying to find the right words to say as she continued to stare at you in anticipation—no matter how much it had pained her, she had seemed to need to hear it from you unless she wanted to carry it with her until her last breath. Taking your hand off her shoulder and staring at her with a determined look on your face, meeting the clear dejection in her eyes, “not right now, this can’t be about us—because we’re almost there. We’re so close to reaching our dreams and.. We’d just both get in the way of that, you need to let this go.”
Hyunjin just stood there, staring at you as you reached for your bag on the ground—taking in a deep breath before meeting her eyes for the last time, thinking if you should say any more to the girl that stared at you with a blank expression on her face.
“You’ll achieve great things, Kim Hyunjin. I’ll see you around.” 
You stared down at the cue cards in your hand, biting the inside of your cheek before looking away from it to look through the windows and find your fans and LOONA’s fans excitedly waving at you—it was heartwarming to see, both of you and the group’s fans in such good terms under such bad weather conditions yet they still looked thrilled to be watching this unfold. The main MC stood next to you on the stage for an opening speech about the group as you plastered a small smile on your lips as she did so, completely clueless about the whirlwind of thoughts you were currently having at the memory that had played nonstop in your mind since your team had mentioned which group you were assigned to.
Ryujin’s cackles echoed through the memory as well, remembering how you had met her in the Tteokbokki place with distraught features—looking absolutely stunned as you sat there in front of her and told her what had just happened. And once it was publicly announced that you had gotten LOONA.. Maybe you shouldn’t have picked up that phone call from your best friend that had her laughing through most of your conversation, and she even called you earlier to wish you the best of luck—but to also laugh into the receiver as well.
Though you and Hyunjin had never spoken to each other since her confession, it didn’t stop you from giving her group your support. It wasn’t hard at all, they were great and you actually were into their concept accompanied by the lore—you even went out of your way on one of your lives to converse with your fans about their theories, and of course this had reached the members.
And with the members hearing about you, singing a few of your songs—Heejin mentioned that you did indeed come from the same school, that you were in the class directly in front of theirs. There were numerous questions directed at Hyunjin in that live as well but you were quick to leave the clip, not wanting to see if she had actually ended up hating you or whatnot. But as you went about your days, your fans hadn’t mentioned anything so you had guessed that the girl didn’t really speak much of you—which was great, that means that what happened that evening was just between the two of you and had involved no one else.
Though it did have you wondering if this was her purposely brushing the encounter off, if she had done this because she knew this would hurt both of your reputations—or she had really saw you in a different light, the opposite of how she had seen you back then. It didn’t matter now, really—idols have disputes, it happens, but in truth it would sting if it’s between you and Hyunjin. You were only looking out for the girl, you were more concerned about how she had seen her career than you had wanted to keep yours clean—you saw the surprised look on her face once you were crowded by paparazzi in the ceremony, she should’ve known your intentions were clear by then.
But if she ended up hating you for it, there wasn’t really anything you can do.
“Im Yeojin!” the MC announced as the nine other members stood on the sides, the Maknae waving in a formal manner to everyone and even going out of her way to walk over to you and shake your hand—which had you laughing in no time, shaking your head as the girl threw a heart sign at the camera before it was your turn to announce the next member.
Of course, it had to be you.
“Kim Hyunjin.” you couldn’t meet her eyes so you settled on looking down at the cue cards, hoping that both of your fans hadn’t caught up on your aversion by going through the words written in them just before the woman next to you announced Heejin’s name. You looked up from the cards in your hand, expecting to find Heejin already in place—only to directly look into Hyunjin’s eyes, making the both of you quickly look away from one another, with Hyunjin almost tripping on her own feet as she scrambled to stand next to a concerned Yeojin.
“Unnie, are you okay? You look pale.”
“Be quiet.” Hyunjin shushed the member, the mic catching the nervousness in her tone that echoed through the feedback of everyone’s earpieces—making her members glance at the girl just as they did their usual greeting before looking at the main MC who continued introducing the girls as you smiled at the camera.
“So how are you feeling right now Y/N? With this being the first time you’re guest hosting?”
“I’m a bit nervous, actually—it’s the cue cards that I’m afraid to mess up, I’ve always been a fan of LOONA so..” Chuu squealed from her spot while Yves grabbed onto Olivia Hye’s arm to start dramatically singing your most recent song, the intimidating girl making you flustered when she returned the girl’s energy. The members ended up trying to one-up one another for your attention—except for a silent Kim Hyunjin who had a small smile on her lips as she just nodded—so the main MC quickly asked them to take their seats before it got too much about you than the group. The event had passed faster than you’d expect it to, even though you and Hyunjin barely had any interaction—her members were too soft to ignore, they made your first hosting experience go smoother than you could have ever imagined it.
But if you thought you could easily slip out of the girls’ hold that fast, you should think again—because just before they were supposed to make their way to the dressing room to get ready for their performance, they were quick to engage a conversation with you which almost felt as if it would never end until their staff called for them. So you took this as your cue to leave, bowing before turning to head to the stage when you felt fingers wrap around your wrist—making you turn in your heels as you were dragged into a less crowded area in the set.
“What—”
“I still have feelings for you.” you choked when you met Hyunjin’s glare, your eyes locked on the idol who looked almost as if she sprinted from the dressing room the second she was done getting changed—because she had donned her stage outfit, contrasting her members that just lingered to talk with you.
“This isn’t the right time to be talking about this—”
“You told me to forget about it, right? But how can I do that if I see you everywhere, hear you everywhere—do you hate me this much? Y/L/N Y/N!?” Hyunjin’s grip tightened around your wrist but you didn’t wince, the image of the girl’s eyes slowly brimming with tears made you glance at the staff who passed by yet didn’t seem to see you two at all—so you made a move to shift the distraught girl even further out of view so you stood in a way that blocked her from being seen by anyone. Placing your hand on her own that were on your wrist to give her a calculated look.
“Don’t cry here.”
“It's still about them? After all these years you still don't think about yourself? Y/N—"
"I was watching you, before—the same way you did with me," you carefully told her, watching her angered expression slowly turn into a look of confusion as you felt her fingers loosen around your wrist. A small smile on your lips as you scanned her features, "after that evening, I found myself doing the same thing you did—with looking for you everywhere."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hyunjin grumbled, sniffling as you melted at the sight, even though it was a painful scene to watch. Reaching over to tilt her head up so her tears don't smear her makeup, she looked even more confused but still let you place your fingers on her chin.
"I guess you can say that your confession made me realize that I wasn't only watching you because I wanted to prepare myself for when I become an idol," you swallowed sharply, trying your best not to lose your train of thought at the sight of Hyunjin continuing to stare at you, "I think it's just funny how the first thing that came to my mind after I debuted was that I needed to talk with you. You know, after I told you to forget about it."
"Is this.. You confessing that you like me?" Hyunjin took your hand off her chin, holding it firmly as she squinted her eyes at you as if trying to see if you were kidding or not.
"Why? Does it sound like a setup? I'm trying to tell you I like you back, it took some time to think—"
"But you still won't date me?" you opened your mouth to reply as Hyunjin raised her brow, swiftly grabbing ahold of your neck to pull you closer to her and making you yelp, almost actually falling into her hold—but Hyunjin was strong enough to hold you both in place, the closeness of your faces making your mind flash back to that evening but also fully recognize how mature her face has gotten.
"But you still can't kiss me?"
"H-hey, I told you—I've just come into terms with liking you, you're pushing your luck, Kim Hyunjin—"
"You're the one pushing your luck, I've liked you for years and you think I'd just let you get away with acting like this?"
"Yah! Kim Hyunjin! Where did that girl run off to.." you had reflexively pushed Hyunjin off of you, making her stumble back as you turned to face a clueless Haseul who had her brows knitted—but as soon as she saw you her eyes lit up and a warm smile eased your flustered state.
"Y/N! Have you seen Hyunjin anywhere? She left the dressing room earlier looking a bit under the weather, but Vivi and Gowon are almost done.. If you see her can you—"
"I'm here, I'll catch up later." you felt your heart stop once Haseul's eyes moved from you to her member, to then move back to you—making her smile turn into a smirk before she nodded.
"Right.. Later." Haseul snorted before waving at you and meeting Heejin down the hallway who was complaining about Yeojin bothering her—the sight looking almost like a sibling fight.
"So.. Where were we?"
"Goodbye, Kim Hyunjin."
"What? No! You can't do this to me—I want my payback! Y/N!"
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Long time no see, long time no see~
A week passed by too quickly, I thought I posted a few days ago—turns out it’s been a week and three days? But I’ve been very busy this week so it was honestly weird how I went in and out of the writing mood when I had so much on my plate, I wanted to write to relieve some stress but I guess it just frustrated me even more—it’s funny lmao.
New template! Do you guys like the inverted borders or.. Through my screen it looks better than the first one—maybe more cleaner? And I like it better because of that? Oddly enough when I changed it to the new one it reminded me of this version of Lightning Mcqueen.
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 (Did I ruin the OS for you guys? Yes? Ok, sorry then—Lighting’s staying though lmao.)
Also, new template because I got into photoshop, and now there is no way you’ll ever see the gifs in non-high definition form no longer—I’ve also learnt how to color change objects in videos for my gifs, (and when I tell you guys that I’ve thought of another Jinsoul OS that I thought would be a cool concept.. I keep Jinsoul-baiting I’m so sorry, she just has the greatest ideas from me, she’s not even my bias but her power.) and I’ve also learned how to change the header colors in the actual color hex of the members. All that while I’m balancing my irl life in a span of a week! Still can’t believe that even on my free time—I’m still pushing myself to be productive.
Also! By the way—we’ve reached 100 you guys! And with that—a blog that I’ve binge read obsessively before I made this blog is part of you guys. I’m too shy to tag so if you’re reading this.. 
IreallyloveyourworkandIhopeyouwritemoreaboutloonabecauseIlovethemsomuchandIwentanononyourblogtorequestonceanditwasablackpinkonesoI’msureitgotthroughbecauseitwaswaybackwhenyouhadroséinblackpinkhouseasyourpfpthankyouforyourserviceIcan’tbelieveyouactuallyfollowedthisblog.
How about you guys, what have you been up to? Did the week pass by smoothly with you guys too? I really feel like something shifted in this week for some reason, but maybe that’s just me you know? But damn, you guys really grow fast don’t you? I remember feeling so shy when we just had around 10 but—you guys..! :(
I want to keep writing more for this blog, I have so many ideas yet it’s as if only time will tell when I’ll write it exactly the way I want it to.. Because fics like this was done in one seating and—I want to put more thought into it so it would be clearer! More expressions! But for now.. We can settle for this, yeah? At least we know she’s still writing, that’s a place to always start.
Laters (hopefully for not more than a week again),
JJ.
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>ovc: loonatheworld (170329)
https://youtu.be/o25-mCo2RkM
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becomewings · 4 years ago
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The Most Beautiful Moment in Life <I’M FINE>
    BTS Universe Story Highlights, pt. 2 / 4
« pt. 1  |  » pt. 3
Introduction
JungKook’s and YoonGi’s stories are the first of the paid content in BTS Universe Story and are substantially more detailed than the episodes covered in part 1. As this led to longer summaries (4.2k and 3k), I have added “tl;dr commentary” at the bottom of the post after a section of additional thoughts. This commentary summarizes the parenthetical asides I made throughout the summaries and may be of interest as standalone reading to those who have already played the game yet would like to review its connections to the BU texts and MVs.
Content warning: contains references to death, suicide, suicidal ideation, child abuse, domestic violence, blood, homicide, depression, trauma, PTSD
This guide contains major spoilers and includes references to other BU media
Do not repost, copy, or quote without permission
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The Boy on the Threshold
In this story, SeokJin works to uncover the motivations behind JungKook’s nightly street wandering, instigation of fights with thugs, and decision to jump from the roof of a construction site. He was aware of the “darkness” within JungKook but never thought that he would give up on himself. SeokJin is determined to find a way to make JungKook think “I want to live” on his own.
In the afternoon on 11 April Year 22, SeokJin drives by the crosswalk outside Songju Jeil High School. Spotting a grim-faced JungKook, he gets out to greet him. JungKook visibly brightens and pelts him with question after question, finally finishing with, “But how come you’re here at school?” If the player chooses the response “I came to see you” rather than “I was in the neighborhood,” JungKook seems a little disbelieving due to the coincidental timing but nevertheless pleased. SeokJin offers him a ride, thinking that JungKook will not carry out that night’s actions from previous loops if he gets home right away. In the car, SeokJin reminisces aloud about the day they all met. On 3 March Year 19, all seven boys arrived late on the first day at Songju Jeil High School and were scolded outside by the Dean. (Aside from the absence of extra students, this scene looks very similar to the BTS Begins Middle Scene VCR, including the detail of YoonGi arriving last. This VCR predates official BU content.) When the Dean spotted SeokJin in their lineup, he reduced their punishment of community service for one month to just that afternoon. After classes, the boys cleaned the annex. The old classroom-turned-storage room became their secret hideout where they enjoyed various activities like dancing, playing the piano, and spending time with one another. JungKook appears happy as they chat about their school days, although in one path, his face falls after he remembers when he and YoonGi were caught in the annex. SeokJin is concerned, but JungKook insists, “It’s nothing.”
They say goodbye outside JungKook’s house, but SeokJin watches to make sure he goes inside. JungKook hesitates before ringing the bell at the gate. His mom answers, surprised and at a loss by his unexpected arrival. She asks him to come back later because his father’s relatives stopped by, and the intercom cuts off before he can answer. (His mother remarried, so this is really his step-father and family.) SeokJin wonders if JungKook has no one to lean on at school or at home and if this is why he wanders the streets at night. He asks JungKook where he wants to go now. “The beach… the one I went to with you guys,” JungKook answers, then says he’s kidding when SeokJin hesitates, thinking about the night ahead. SeokJin invites JungKook home instead, hoping to keep an eye on him before he needs to save NamJoon at the gas station.
In his bedroom, SeokJin hastily takes down the map and notes pinned on the wall of the boys’ incidents around the city. After letting JungKook inside, he shows him a box of photos from their time together in school. While JungKook browses, a notification on SeokJin’s phone reminds him of Songho Foundation’s inaugural ceremony that evening. Songho Foundation is a scholarship foundation funded by his maternal grandmother’s estate, and his father formally introduces him on this occasion. SeokJin also receives a call from his father’s long-time aide, a man he refers to as Uncle JunHo, who instructs him not to be late to the ceremony. Claiming it won’t take him long, SeokJin asks JungKook to stay there and wait for him to return. He is worried about leaving JungKook alone but also concerned that bringing him to the gas station after the ceremony will make him late to intervening in NamJoon’s incident.
In the lobby of the hotel hosting the Songho Foundation Inauguration Ceremony, SeokJin recognizes many important faces from around the city: Song JunHo, his father’s aide; Seo HyunJung, the city’s deputy mayor; the CEO of Youngjin Engineering & Construction Company; a professor from Munhyeon University; and the Jeil High School principal, Jo JinMyung. SeokJin doesn’t want to cross paths with the principal but is drawn into a conversation with him, the mayor, and his father, Kim ChangJun. “Assemblyman! Congratulations on the launch of the scholarship foundation,” Deputy Mayor Seo says to Kim ChangJun. “I hear that your son has been accepted to Munhyeon University? You must be happy that he’s attending your alma mater.” Kim ChangJun shakes his head. “He still has a lot to learn.” She remarks that everyone knows how well SeokJin has grown up and inquires about his career plans. The player is presented with three choices: “I haven’t decided yet,” “I want to become a good person,” and “I want to become someone like my father.” SeokJin’s father continues to look grim while the others chuckle in response to the first two answers, but his expression softens at the third, which SeokJin knew would not rub him the wrong way. Deputy Mayor Seo proposes to Assemblyman Kim that they establish a regular meeting to discuss community development, mentioning that it would be better if he could invite the city’s prominent citizens and give a speech. Assemblyman Kim agrees, telling his assistant Song JunHo to make note of it. The ceremony concludes, and the guests head towards the hotel’s restaurant. SeokJin is wary of his father’s watchful gaze but impatient to carry out the rest of the night’s plans. While his father is surrounded by other people, he informs Uncle JunHo that he has to leave to work on a group project. SeokJin slips out of the hotel and heads to NamJoon’s gas station.
While SeokJin is gone, one of the photos in the box catches JungKook’s eye. It shows the seven boys sitting on a wall with the ocean behind them. (This photo resembles the shot in Euphoria at 5’32” except that they appear to be wearing school uniform shirts and slacks.) A flashback retells the afternoon of 12 June Year 19 when the boys cut school early and visited the sea, trudging over 3 kilometers under the scorching sun to find a boulder that is rumored to make your dreams come true. (The date is not specified in the game, but the memory closely follows this set of entries in The Notes 1.) Everyone collapses in disappointment when they can’t find the rock at its designated location. JungKook is tired but not as disappointed as the others—just walking there with them is enough for him, even though he often feels uncertain of his place among the group. He gets up on the pier railing, reflecting: “I’ve always liked walking on the edge of walls or on top of lines. Focusing on centering my gravity means that I don’t really think of anything else, and the boundary—not quite a part of either place—always felt like where I should be.” Balancing precariously, JungKook walks until someone grabs his arm. YoonGi scolds him not to do this. JungKook assures him that he will not fall but privately thinks: “YoonGi would often grab my arm when I walked on railings. The others would look after me, too, after seeing him do that. I liked their helping hands. It felt like they were telling me that I should go to them. That this wasn’t my place. Maybe their hands were why I walked on the railings.”
The story returns to the present in SeokJin’s perspective. He rushes back to his room after saving NamJoon and finds JungKook asleep, leaning against the bed with the photos still scattered around him. Feeling both relief and regret, SeokJin quietly coaxes JungKook to lay down and sleep more comfortably. JungKook wakes up and says he should go home after hearing that it’s past ten o’clock. The game cuts briefly to SeokJin’s father in his study with his aide. Kim ChangJun asks Song JunHo to fetch SeokJin, as he needs to know what goes on for the foundation. JunHo says that SeokJin must be entertaining a guest for the group project because he spotted an unfamiliar pair of shoes in the entryway.
Back in his bedroom, SeokJin is startled when his father knocks on the door. It’s rare for his father to visit the second floor of their home, so he let his guard down while chatting with JungKook. “F-Father.” Stammering, SeokJin flinches and gathers up the scattered photos. “Did you leave the ceremony early to waste time like this? Even lying to say you were doing a school project?” asks Kim ChangJun. His cold and reproachful stare suffocates SeokJin. When his father’s eyes scan to JungKook standing awkwardly at the side, SeokJin is plunged into a childhood memory. On 10 October Year 9, 9-year-old SeokJin hid a school friend who was being chased by scary men in his bedroom. His father arrived and asked if the boy was Mr. Choi’s son, saying people had come to take him. When Kim ChangJun ordered him to “be a good boy,” SeokJin froze and was powerless to stop his friend from being handed over. The following day, SeokJin was told his friend transferred schools. (This event is also depicted as the first entry of The Notes 1.) In the present, SeokJin struggles to think of an explanation, smothered by that memory and his father’s pressuring stare. JungKook timidly speaks up. “I was only here to visit for a short while. I was actually about to head home. Hey, I’ll go now.” SeokJin knows he can’t leave him alone yet and finally forces himself to move. “Father, I… I’m going to go out for a little while.” He runs outside, but JungKook is already gone.
The story cuts to JungKook’s perspective as he arrives in a familiar alleyway. He is thankful that SeokJin was so considerate to him but feels that he shouldn’t have gone to his home since it made things more complicated for his friend. “YoonGi even got expelled because of me… Why do I always mess things up for the people around me?” JungKook thinks. The player is presented the choice to either text SeokJin or call YoonGi. In the first path, SeokJin calls JungKook while he is mid-text and says that he’ll come pick him up, but JungKook declines, thanks him, and hangs up. In the second path, JungKook fiddles with his phone, wondering if YoonGi will be annoyed or even answer. He remembers when they crossed paths a few days earlier. On 7 April Year 22, JungKook heard a familiar tune while roaming the dark streets and saw YoonGi playing piano through a broken window of a music shop. YoonGi stopped and eventually staggered out of the shop without noticing JungKook reaching out to him. JungKook tried to play the music by memory, and suddenly YoonGi returned—just like their days at the classroom. (Note: In his 7 April Year 22 entry of The Notes 1, YoonGi is drunk and stumbling by an empty construction site when he recognizes a clumsy piano tune that he’d been playing “not long ago.” But when he runs to the music shop and finds JungKook, the text does not indicate that he remembers this is his second visit to the shop this evening. Additionally, the Wings short film First Love seems to reference some of the events of this night—or evokes YoonGi’s distorted memories of it, mingled with a representation of JungKook’s later accident.)
In the present (11 April), JungKook wonders if YoonGi is doing well. He has thought about him since their chance encounter but doesn’t have the courage to call him first. (The narrative paths rejoin here.) JungKook wonders where he should go now yet doesn’t want to think about anything. He stops in the middle of the road, and a passing car’s headlights make him dizzy. SeokJin arrives in the distance and shouts his name, but JungKook just thinks, “One more step from here. Just one more step, and everything ends.” He steps in front of the honking car. SeokJin calls him in the distance, and JungKook feels everything slip farther away. The glass shatters and the loop resets.
Awakening once more on the morning of 11 April, SeokJin vows to protect JungKook until the end. The memory of arriving too late as JungKook threw himself in front of the car reminds him of how he was also unable to protect his childhood friend when he was 9. He needs to devise a new plan, since JungKook practically ran out of the house when confronted by Kim ChangJun. The story cuts to that evening, with JungKook looking at the photo in SeokJin’s bedroom. This time, SeokJin ignores his phone’s buzzing reminder about Songho Foundation’s inaugural ceremony. He asks JungKook where he’d like to get next and, when he doesn’t have any ideas, offers him a tour of the university campus.
JungKook seems happier looking around the campus, the cherry blossoms in full bloom. SeokJin uses this opportunity to ask him if anything is on his mind and if school is going well. JungKook answers nonchalantly, but SeokJin remembers how grim he looked at the school crosswalk that afternoon. He asks if JungKook still hangs out with the other guys. “HoSeok and TaeHyung are working part-time jobs. The others… I’m not sure,” JungKook answers, expression darkening. SeokJin wonders if he shouldn’t have brought it up but still presses him. “How come? You should talk to them from time to time.” “But it’s because of me,” says JungKook. “The reason why YoonGi was expelled… It was because he was trying to protect me.” 
SeokJin either responds “It’s not your fault” or “Don’t think that way.” Following the first choice, JungKook insists, “No, it’s my fault. YoonGi wouldn’t have talked back to the teacher if I wasn’t there.” SeokJin shakes his head. “No, you couldn’t really do anything given the situation.” JungKook replies that he should have at least apologized and that he never had the chance to tell YoonGi he was sorry. “That’s how you felt, huh… I should’ve done more. I’m sorry,” SeokJin apologizes. JungKook shakes his head with a smile, but SeokJin knows that he doesn’t understand what he really meant. (Per events in The Notes 1, it is technically SeokJin’s fault that the teacher found them in the classroom.) If the second dialogue choice, “Don’t think that way,” is chosen, JungKook questions, “How could I? When it was because of me.” “No…” SeokJin is not brave enough to say that he’s the one to blame. The camera (i.e. the animation) starts wobbling as though SeokJin’s vision is swimming. “SeokJin?” asks JungKook in concern. “I should’ve done more. I’m sorry.” The episode ends with the same dialogue and animation of JungKook shaking his head with a smile, except that in the second path the camera is still wobbling from SeokJin’s perspective. (This is the only episode I noted in the game that has a slight difference in endings based on the player’s final choice, although it is essentially cosmetic.)
Episode 5 opens with a more detailed memory of 11 June Year 20 from JungKook’s perspective. The high school was holding an open house for parents. Not wanting to stay in a classroom, he wandered off and heard piano music drifting from the annex. JungKook slipped into their classroom hideout and settled down to listen. YoonGi continued to play without acknowledging him. The music helped calm JungKook—it seemed as though YoonGi understood how he felt and was trying to console him. The sound cut off abruptly as the door slammed open. “You rascals! What are you doing here?!” the Dean of Students demanded. He slapped JungKook, knocking him down. A flurry of verbal abuse poured over his crumpled form. YoonGi shoved the teacher’s shoulder and stepped in front of JungKook. “Wow, look at this kid… You put your hands on a teacher? You better be prepared, Min YoonGi.” With that ominous threat, the Dean departed. JungKook spoke from the floor. “Hey, sorry for making you—” “It’s nothing,” YoonGi cut in. JungKook wondered why he helped him. It was the first time someone had protected him, and he believed that he would never forget the view of YoonGi’s back. YoonGi asked why JungKook was smiling. “I don’t know.” Still smiling, JungKook touched his throbbing cheek. YoonGi stared at him before breaking into his own smile and sitting down next to him. They sat there wordlessly for some time. The feeling of growing closer to YoonGi made JungKook feel giddy the rest of the day. But YoonGi did not come to school the following day, and two weeks later, he was formally expelled. (The encounter with the teacher and YoonGi’s subsequent expulsion are also referenced in JungKook and YoonGi’s 25 June Year 20 entries in The Notes 1.)
In a brief interlude in the present (11 April at the university campus), SeokJin reflects again that he does not have the courage to confess to JungKook the real reason why they drifted apart. He walks with his eyes trained on the ground until JungKook calls for him to look at the cherry blossoms floating in the wind. The scene cuts to 30 September Year 20 for another of JungKook’s school memories. He stood outside the school’s annex, reflecting that his friends probably didn’t know that he went there every day. Although school was a place he found awkward and unfamiliar, their hideout was a space for him that put him at ease. On that day however, only HoSeok was inside the classroom, gathering up the items they’d left behind. JungKook realized that the time they spent together was now a memory and would never return again. (This is also an entry in The Notes 1.) Back in the present, SeokJin notices that JungKook looks grim once more and tries to improve his mood by asking if they should go to the beach. JungKook privately wonders: “Do you think YoonGi would go? And no one knows what’s going on with JiMin. Will we really be able to go together like we did then?” Holding up his pink camera, SeokJin says they should take a picture to commemorate the evening. They’re both smiling in the photo, and he hopes that they’ll all smile together again one day. After their campus tour, SeokJin walks JungKook home, ignoring the many calls he receives from his father’s assistant JunHo.
At the crosswalk outside the high school the next day (12 April), SeokJin reflects that staying with JungKook instead of attending the inauguration ceremony seemed like a good choice. He prevented JungKook from jumping off the building and stopped NamJoon’s incident too. But SeokJin wants to keep an eye on JungKook for a few days. While he’s waiting, the principal Jo JinMyung approaches and greets him, asking what brings him to the school. SeokJin tries to excuse himself, but the principal brings up the ceremony. “I thought you’d be there, but you weren’t. Did something happen? Why weren’t you there?” Caught off guard, SeokJin either answers vaguely (“I had something important to do”) or honestly (“A friend had an emergency and I couldn’t attend”). JungKook joins them slowly during the exchange, and the principal seems a little suspicious regardless of the player’s choice. In the “honest” path, he adds, “Next time, think about what's truly important before acting.” The paths rejoin when the principal smiles pointedly and mentions that he should call the Assemblyman soon. SeokJin wonders if Jo JinMyung intends to tell his father that he was with JungKook. Kim ChangJun did not approve of the time SeokJin spent with his friends even in school. “Father thinks it’s useless to have human relationships that don’t help you succeed.” When he and JungKook are in his car, SeokJin notices that the principal ominously watches them pull away.
Later that day, SeokJin meets with his father in his office. Kim ChangJun looks exhausted. Though they’re similar heights, to his son he seems like a massive grey wall. “Why didn’t you attend the inauguration ceremony yesterday?” he asks. SeokJin either lies (“A professor asked me to do something last minute”) or answers honestly (“A friend had an emergency and I couldn’t attend”). The ultimate result is the same: Kim ChangJun speaks after a long moment of silence. “The one thing I want from you is for you to be a good son.” “Yes,” says SeokJin. “I don’t think it’s a difficult task. You may leave.” As he exits, SeokJin hears him call Song JunHo and worries that his flimsy excuse will fall apart. Running into the principal may have made matters worse too. Despite his uneasiness, SeokJin has no choice but to keep going and trust that everything will work out. While NamJoon and JungKook are safe for now, he wonders if he can be a person for JungKook to lean on for comfort whenever he needs it so that he will not resort to such an extreme decision again.
SeokJin visits JungKook after school every afternoon the following days. On 15 April, JungKook asks if it’s okay for him to come like this every day. SeokJin assures him, “Yeah. I come to see you because I want to.” He observes that JungKook still seems to take social cues from him rather than acting comfortably, so he encourages him to either pick what they do next or where they should go eat. On 19 April, however, JungKook does not appear at the school gates. SeokJin tries calling him, only to learn that the number isn’t in service. Someone shouts his name, and HoSeok emerges from the Twostar Burger across from the school. “I had heard you were back, but I didn’t think I’d see you here in front of the school.” HoSeok digs a piece of paper out of his pocket, explaining that JungKook stopped by earlier. “He said he’s switching schools.” SeokJin asks where, but HoSeok doesn’t know. This has never happened before in a loop, and SeokJin wonders if he caused it. HoSeok hands over the paper, which JungKook requested be given to SeokJin. It’s a drawing of the cherry blossom tree they saw together, with a thank you note written at the bottom. SeokJin hopes that his suspicions aren’t correct.
Hunting for clues to JungKook’s whereabouts, SeokJin visits Jeil High School’s administrative office the next day (20 April). He receives slightly more information if he acts like he knows the Director of Administration, but as the student records are confidential, the man only reveals that JungKook transferred to a boarding school. On 30 April, SeokJin is summoned to his father’s office. Kim ChangJun asks him to sit down and continues speaking with his aide, Song JunHo. He confirms an upcoming appointment with the Deputy Mayor before asking, “Oh, did you take care of that incident?” “Yes. Do you mean the one concerning the Jeil High student?” JunHo responds. “I’ve taken care of the issue with the student.” Heart racing, SeokJin realizes that his father was behind JungKook’s transfer and deliberately let it slip as a warning to him. On their way out, Uncle JunHo adds, “SeokJin. You do know how difficult it was because you didn’t attend the inauguration, right?” SeokJin promises that he’ll be at the next meeting. Back in his bedroom, he decides that he made the wrong choice in this loop. He wanted to be someone JungKook could always come to, but instead he pushed him farther away. HoSeok calls him at that moment. Voice wavering, he relays that JungKook has disappeared. Some of his classmates stopped by the restaurant that day, inquiring if anyone talks to him often.
The story cuts back to 25 April with JungKook in class at his new school. His mom likes the dormitory here, and he suspects that she feels more comfortable without him at home. School, home, the dorms—he doesn’t belong in any of those places. While pairing up the students, the teacher notices that they have an odd number now and asks JungKook where he wants to go. He closes his eyes and remembers a voice: “JungKook, let’s all go to the ocean.” He thinks, “I want to go…” The scene jumps to JungKook walking towards the ocean shore. The glass shatters.
SeokJin opens his eyes on the morning of 11 April. He wonders what caused the loop to reset and assumes something must have happened to JungKook after he transferred schools. Again, he could not keep his promise of getting them all to the ocean. The episode ends with SeokJin sitting atop the seaside observatory at sunset. (This is a key location on 22 May Year 22, recurring in The Notes and depicted in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film and Euphoria MV. It looks the same in the game.) SeokJin ruminates on what may have happened to JungKook and where events started going wrong. He thought he could be the person JungKook needed to lean on, but he failed. This arc concludes with him wondering: “Was my method wrong? Or is it not supposed to be me? Maybe… If the person who’s supposed to console JungKook’s scars and be there for him isn’t me… Then, who can save JungKook?”
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The End of His Gaze
SeokJin’s main challenge in saving YoonGi is the unpredictability of his actions between loops. The opening of this story is no different. On 2 May Year 22, SeokJin chases YoonGi after he leaves his workroom with a heavy bag but loses sight of him in the streets. As soon as he picks the nearest motel, black smoke pours from one of its windows. (The sign matches the motel in YoonGi’s scenes of the I Need U MV.) YoonGi ignores the commotion outside the room’s locked door. Once again, SeokJin is too late, and the glass shatters, resetting the loop.
Waking in his bedroom on 11 April, SeokJin considers how YoonGi backs himself into a corner no matter how or when he tries to intervene. It’s different from the incident with NamJoon because no outside person or situation is involved. SeokJin realizes that if YoonGi’s struggle and variables that make his decision so unpredictable are within him, then the only way he can stop YoonGi is by truly understanding him. He takes out his old camcorder from high school, hoping its footage may reveal some clues. In the first video clip he plays, YoonGi is off in the corner of their classroom hideout drawing music staves but speaks up to tell HoSeok and TaeHyung not to play a prank on JiMin. SeokJin wonders if YoonGi still writes music and remembers the piano in his workroom. In the second video, TaeHyung quibbles with NamJoon, who is tired yet refuses to take a nap until YoonGi pushes some desks together and tells him to lie down. SeokJin focuses on YoonGi for the rest of the video, but he is either motionless or off camera. He finds a similar challenge within his photographs: he has less than ten solo photos of YoonGi, and though his face is visible in group pictures, he is never looking at the camera. Still perusing the photos, SeokJin overhears voices from the camcorder. “It being here is a secret. Okay?” TaeHyung whispers to YoonGi. “What’s a secret?” SeokJin in the recording asks. TaeHyung and YoonGi, standing by the piano, both whip around. TaeHyung dismisses it as nothing and shushes YoonGi when he asks, “Why are you hiding something like that?” In the present, SeokJin wonders what they hid in the classroom and decides that it’s worth investigating in case it can help him save YoonGi.
On 15 April, SeokJin visits their old classroom hideout at Jeil High School, which is still being used as a storage room. The player can choose from a total of four locations to explore, provided they select the piano last. SeokJin identifies his father’s name alongside the message “Everything started from here” on the graffitied wall (he first saw this note in his 25 June Year 19 entry from The Notes 1). Even after thoroughly examining the piano, he does not find YoonGi and TaeHyung’s secret or anything else useful. Uneasy at leaving YoonGi alone for so long, SeokJin leaves the school and parks in front of his friend’s workroom. YoonGi appears to be safely inside, so SeokJin browses through the old video files on his camcorder and finds one that continued recording after he thought he had pressed the stop button. Listening to his and YoonGi’s voices, he recalls a forgotten memory of the day they walked out of school together.
The majority of episode 3 plays through a memory of an afternoon that SeokJin and YoonGi walked out of school together (date unspecified; this event is also referenced in YoonGi’s 2 August Year 22 entry from The Notes 2 and the similar Note accompanying Map of the Soul: 7). SeokJin receives a text summoning him to the principal’s office. The office is empty yet suffocating when he arrives. Principal Jo JinMyung arrives and apologizes for making SeokJin wait. SeokJin looks down, heart suddenly heavy. The scene cuts to YoonGi entering the storage classroom as he thinks about all the days he doesn’t feel like going home. It’s not a comfortable place for him, yet there’s nothing for him at the school either, except for the group’s hideout. He feels awkward in the oddly quiet room and puts some sheet music on the piano’s rack. But when he thinks about how no one is there requesting songs from him, he can’t bring his hands up to the keys. The flashback transitions back to SeokJin’s perspective following his meeting with the principal. As expected, the principal wanted him to report on YoonGi’s behavior. SeokJin spoke carefully so as not to tip him off about anything, but he hears internal whispers calling himself a hypocrite even when he’s laughing with his friends. Fretting over how much longer he can protect YoonGi, SeokJin runs into him at the classroom hideout’s door. He hopes YoonGi doesn’t notice how flustered he is, but YoonGi doesn’t say anything beyond confirming that he’s heading home. SeokJin tries to strike up a conversation as they walk out together, but the conversation awkwardly fizzles out whether he brings up food or the weather. YoonGi points out that his phone is buzzing, and SeokJin’s camcorder falls from his bag as he looks for it. YoonGi waves him off when SeokJin films him to test that it still works. He sheepishly lowers the camcorder and forgets to turn it off. YoonGi breaks the uncomfortable silence when they are almost across the field. “Is something up? You didn’t look very happy earlier.” Heart pounding, SeokJin tries to laugh off this sharp question with an excuse, but YoonGi stares straight at him. “You’re awkward too, SeokJin.” “What is?” “Your laugh.” YoonGi pauses before continuing, “When was the last time you genuinely laughed?”
The scene fades back to the present in SeokJin’s car (15 April). He can’t make out the rest of their conversation in the recording or remember what he answered. He wonders why YoonGi asked him that. SeokJin was always tense then, afraid that his friends would learn of his meetings with the principal. Did the others notice, too? While he’s lost in these thoughts, someone outside shouts, “Fire!” Flames erupt from YoonGi’s workroom. Realizing he should have focused on YoonGi and not the video, SeokJin runs into the building. As he tries to open the locked door, he hears the glass shatter.
The fourth episode opens on the night of 11 April with SeokJin watching JungKook and YoonGi walk away from the construction site and towards NamJoon’s container. A few days later, SeokJin spots JungKook on the sidewalk on his way to YoonGi’s workroom. When asked where he’s going, JungKook avoids his gaze and replies, “I was just… walking around.” SeokJin knows this is because he has nowhere to go. Not wanting JungKook to keep wandering and remembering that he was once close with YoonGi, SeokJin invites him along. The perspective switches to JungKook as they enter the workroom. It reeks of alcohol, and YoonGi is fast asleep among empty bottles. “YoonGi… will be okay, right?” he asks. SeokJin picks up the bottles without responding. A memory from their school days occurs to JungKook. TaeHyung chased him around their classroom hideout, trying to snatch his sketchbook and succeeding when JungKook found his escape unintentionally blocked by YoonGi standing in the doorway. JungKook was dismayed when YoonGi called TaeHyung over to the piano so they could look at it together, but then YoonGi deceived TaeHyung and threw the sketchbook to JungKook. In the present, SeokJin doesn’t want to waste time while YoonGi sleeps. He taps a lost-in-thought JungKook on the shoulder and says they should leave, but JungKook responds that he will stay until YoonGi wakes. 
Back again at the classroom hideout, SeokJin hunts further around the piano. He uses an old mop handle to fish out a piece of paper from underneath it. The hidden secret turns out to be TaeHyung’s abysmal math test. Dejected, SeokJin slumps to the floor. On this level, he notices a small handle on the piano’s lower panel and uses it to pop off the cover. Faded music sheets are wedged into the piano’s frame. A phrase on one of them catches SeokJin’s eye. (함께 라면 웃을 수 있다 : The Korean is not translated in game, but Google translates it as “if we are together, we can laugh.” This recurring phrase is instead translated as “we can laugh when we’re together” in The Notes 2. In YoonGi’s 2 August Year 22 entry, he also reflects on finding the note written in the margins of the music scores he took from the classroom. The handwriting isn’t his own. Additionally, a similar sentiment is expressed in a line of You Never Walk Alone, which is the basis for one of the BU-inspired Graphic Lyrics books.)
This message reminds SeokJin of YoonGi’s question: “When was the last time you genuinely laughed?” “This moment is the answer to that question,” he thinks, initiating a flashback to 20 March Year 19. The boys gathered around HoSeok in the classroom, chattering excitedly about the new club he’s leading. TaeHyung jokingly called him “Mr. President.” HoSeok told him only members could call him that before asking YoonGi if he wanted to join. “I’ll allow you to join without an audition, but only you.” TaeHyung exclaimed that he was just trying to get YoonGi to call him president. “Oh, it was obvious?” HoSeok chuckled. “Acting up again, huh?” YoonGi spoke up from the corner. The memory fades, returning to a pensieve SeokJin. He clearly remembers YoonGi’s face as he laughed with the others. “When did we stop laughing? Did it start that day, when I ruined everything?” SeokJin wonders. “It’s my fault,” he says aloud, standing there with the sheet music in hand until the sun begins to set. (Note: the date of the memory may be a typo. On 20 March Year 20 in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard SeokJin in the classroom informing the principal of the trouble he and YoonGi had gotten into. SeokJin realized that NamJoon heard it but not TaeHyung, who remained hidden out of sight and then pretended not to know. It’s not impossible that this memory really occurred in March Year 19, but most of them had only met at the beginning of that month.)
On the night of 15 April, SeokJin follows YoonGi at a distance from his workroom to an alleyway bar. (It is possible but not entirely clear that this is the same day SeokJin found the sheet music at the classroom, which is why I did not specify the date earlier.) It appears that YoonGi visits this bar often since the owner asks him if he has money today. SeokJin sits at a table behind YoonGi and watches him knock back shot after shot. Deciding that he shouldn’t leave him alone any longer, SeokJin musters up the courage to join him. YoonGi doesn’t look surprised to see him. He smiles before looking down again. SeokJin attempts a natural conversation to catch up. YoonGi asks why he didn’t come along the night when everyone got together at NamJoon’s container. “It’s been awhile since we’ve all seen each other, and JungKook… Never mind. You were probably busy.” SeokJin apologizes and inquires how JungKook is doing, then turns the same question on YoonGi when he replies that he doesn’t know. “Anything new with you?” SeokJin presses when YoonGi avoids his gaze. “Well, as you can see.” YoonGi dodges a direct answer.
The restaurant owner brings them a second glass. They are quiet in a restaurant full of chatter. SeokJin brings up the past to break the awkward silence, asking if YoonGi remembers the day they walked out of high school together. “Why do you ask?” says YoonGi. SeokJin explains that he remembered what YoonGi said to him that afternoon. “I want to ask you the same thing you asked me then.” SeokJin is nervous but continues, not wanting to waste this opportunity. “When was the last time you genuinely laughed?” YoonGi is silent for a moment. “Who knows.” SeokJin encourages him to think about it. “What good is it whether I remember or not? It wouldn’t change things now, even if I remembered.” YoonGi’s refusal to express his feelings upsets SeokJin more than his indifferent tone. “I just wish he would open up to me so I could figure out… anything. If only I could tell him,” SeokJin thinks. His internal narration continues over a shot of him in high school looking at his phone: “Or maybe… If I went back further in time, mustering up the courage to protect my friends, and prevented YoonGi from being expelled. If I did, maybe now we’d be…” “What’s with that expression?” YoonGi’s voice snaps him into the present, and he stares at SeokJin the way he had when they walked home from school. “Nothing, just… I feel like it’s been a while since I last saw you and I’m wasting time with useless subjects. It’s nothing—” SeokJin tries to laugh it off, but YoonGi interrupts. “You’re the same as always… There’s something there in your expression, but you say that it’s nothing.” This remark hits hard, rendering SeokJin speechless.
YoonGi’s words echo in SeokJin’s head even after he arrives home later that night. How did YoonGi notice what SeokJin thought he kept well-hidden? He once viewed YoonGi as someone who was indifferent to the world and trying to distance himself from everything. It dawns on SeokJin that he is mistaken. He opens his camcorder, hoping to see something new with this changed perspective. A recording plays in which he, YoonGi, and JungKook are the only ones present in the classroom hideout. When YoonGi starts playing piano, JungKook gets up from the desk and carefully stands by him. YoonGi doesn’t seem bothered and continues to play. Suddenly, he stops. “You wanna try?” In the present, SeokJin wonders why he asks JungKook that out of the blue and replays the footage, feeling like he missed something. This time, he notices that JungKook begins chewing his nails before YoonGi asks him. “Can I?” says JungKook. “Why not? It’s not my piano or anything. You can play if you want to.” At YoonGi’s words, the color returns to JungKook’s face and his hands drop from his mouth. SeokJin watches a little more of the video. As the recorded YoonGi patiently corrects JungKook’s wrong notes, he realizes that YoonGi doesn’t merely ask JungKook to play on a whim but out of respect for him.
SeokJin turns his attention to his box of photos. The player can choose up to three to examine. SeokJin realizes that YoonGi is a little further behind the group and not looking at the camera not because he feels left out or is avoiding attention, but because he is always watching how they are all together. YoonGi knows us very well, he thinks. He stopped JungKook from biting his nails by asking him to play the piano rather than acknowledging it directly. He saw through SeokJin and recognized when his laughter wasn’t genuine, even after several years apart. SeokJin thought that YoonGi wanted to give up everything, would never open up to anyone, and experienced feelings that were impossible for him to understand. “But if we were the ones to make YoonGi laugh… It may be possible to save YoonGi,” SeokJin reflects. With more determination, he vows to save him. “I’ll save him no matter what, because we can laugh when we’re together.”
SeokJin visits YoonGi every day after their meeting at the bar, responding that he’s making time to see him when asked if all university students have this much free time. They grow more accustomed to each other’s company, but SeokJin’s glimmer of hope fades as alcohol and aimless wandering continues to fill YoonGi’s life. Since just visiting YoonGi’s workroom seems meaningless, on 24 April SeokJin decides to show him the sheet music he found in the hideout, hoping it will encourage him to resume songwriting. Upon seeing the music, YoonGi has a flashback to 25 June Year 20, the day he received the school expulsion notice. He ran immediately to the classroom and played the piano as though possessed. The anger refused to settle. He shoved all of his sheet music into the piano and vowed to never play the piano again. In the present, YoonGi asks, “Where’d you find this?” At his cold expression, SeokJin wonders what he’s done wrong and explains aloud that he just happened to find it in the hideout’s piano. The papers fall from YoonGi’s hand, scattering across the floor. “Leave,” he spits. “What? Min YoonGi, what’s going on?” SeokJin asks. YoonGi shoves him. “Just leave.” “Don’t do this, let’s talk for a moment,” SeokJin tries again. But YoonGi replies, “I have nothing to say to you.”
YoonGi avoids him after that. On 25 April, SeokJin calls him numerous times without any answer and finds only torn sheet music and empty bottles in his workroom. He remembers YoonGi’s last words to him and says aloud, “It can’t be. No way.” An ominous thought crosses his mind, but he forces it out to focus on recalling something from memory. The story cuts to him running down a street, trying to figure out where YoonGi went to set the fire in the last loop. (It is never clarified what SeokJin’s “ominous thought” is—it may refer to YoonGi setting a fire or possibly even a suspicion that YoonGi figured out SeokJin was involved in his expulsion.) SeokJin finds the same motel (the one with the sign like in the I Need U MV) and rushes upstairs in a cold sweat. Faced with a hallway of identical doors, he doesn’t know how to locate YoonGi’s room. Whether the player chooses for him to call out to YoonGi or “think of something else” (which results in him pulling the fire alarm), the result is ultimately the same. SeokJin forces open the last closed door with a fire extinguisher, but the room is empty. Filled with regret, SeokJin wonders what he has done wrong. “Like an idiot, I… I knew that the location and method of YoonGi’s attempt could change, and yet…”
“Fire!” someone yells. The motel across the street erupts in flames. “No! Please…” SeokJin begs, falling to his knees. “How can I stop this tragedy? … Am I not enough to stop it?” The story ends as he hears the glass shatter once again.
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Additional Thoughts
For me, JungKook’s arc really draws back the curtain on SeokJin’s private life. It demonstrates SeokJin’s challenge to balance saving his friends and maintaining his own daily life, particularly fulfilling the duties that fall to him as a prominent assemblyman’s son. We see little of this side of him until The Notes 2, when his perspective has already drastically changed.
JungKook’s reflection about his habit of walking along the edges of walls is an interesting moment of self-awareness. This “tightrope-walking” is depicted frequently in the MVs.
The car accident and loop reset at the beginning of JungKook’s 4th episode suggests the possibility that the I Need U MV depicts JungKook deliberately stepping in front of the oncoming car rather than accidentally. (Maybe people have already interpreted it this way, but personally the thought had never occured to me due to how it’s shot and acted.) The car accident is a recurring theme in the loops for JungKook, particularly as he is struck the night of 22 May and comes to believe that it was SeokJin who hit him.
This internal dialogue of SeokJin’s from YoonGi’s arc gives me a lot to think about: “If I went back further in time, mustering up the courage to protect my friends, and prevented YoonGi from being expelled. If I did, maybe now we’d be…” SeokJin’s first experiences of the time loops are depicted in the Save Me Webtoon. At that time, he believes that 11 April is the date that he can begin fixing things, but it’s not clear if this ability granted by the cat-like creature truly gives him control over to which date the loop resets. (It is more obvious that he cannot control what triggers the reset itself.) Does he ever go back earlier? Only *ahem* time will tell, but if you want some more food for thought, please check out these interesting quotes that occur before 11 April Year 22.
As mentioned above, the following “tl;dr” commentary summarizes the parenthetical notes I provided in the summaries in case you want to review them on their own.
The Boy on the Threshold — tl;dr commentary
SeokJin’s flashback to 3 March Year 19, when all seven boys arrived late on the first day at Songju Jeil High School and were scolded outside by the Dean, looks very similar to the BTS Begins Middle Scene VCR (aside from the absence of extra students), including the detail of YoonGi arriving last. This VCR predates official BU content.
The photo in SeokJin’s collection that catches JungKook’s eye resembles the shot in the Euphoria MV at 5’32” (the seven boys sitting on a wall with the ocean behind them) except that they appear to be wearing school uniform shirts and slacks.
JungKook’s flashback to the night of 7 April Year 22 expands the context of his reunion with YoonGi, adding that he is drawn to the music shop by a familiar tune and through its broken window sees YoonGi playing piano. YoonGi doesn’t notice him when he staggers outside, and JungKook tries to play the music by memory. In his 7 April Year 22 entry of The Notes 1, YoonGi is drunk and stumbling by an empty construction site when he recognizes a clumsy piano tune that he’d been playing “not long ago.” But when he runs to the music shop and finds JungKook, the text does not indicate that he remembers this is his second visit to the shop this evening. Additionally, the Wings short film First Love seems to reference some of the events of this night—or evokes YoonGi’s distorted memories of it, mingled with a representation of JungKook’s later accident.
I mentioned in part 1’s introduction that every episode’s ending is identical regardless of the decisions made by the player, but the end of episode 4 is actually cosmetically different (a wobbling camera/animation effect) if the second path is selected for the last choice. The dialogue is the same.
The end of episode 7 depicts the seaside observatory. This is a key location on 22 May Year 22, recurring in The Notes and depicted in the HYYH On Stage: Prologue short film and Euphoria MV. It looks the same in the game.
The End of His Gaze — tl;dr commentary
The motel sign at the beginning and end of the story matches the one visible in YoonGi’s shots of the I Need U MV.
When searching the classroom hideout for clues on 15 April, SeokJin identifies his father's name alongside the message “Everything started from here” on the graffitied wall. He first saw this note in his 25 June Year 19 entry from The Notes 1.
Episode 3 presents a memory from both SeokJin’s and YoonGi’s perspectives of the afternoon that they walked out of school together. Although the date is unspecified, this event is also referenced in YoonGi’s 2 August Year 22 entry from The Notes 2 and the similar Note accompanying Map of the Soul: 7.
On his second attempt at searching the classroom, SeokJin finds sheet music that was hidden inside the piano. A phrase written in the corner of one paper catches his eye: 함께 라면 웃을 수 있다. The Korean is not translated in game, but Google translates it as “if we are together, we can laugh.” This recurring phrase is instead translated as “we can laugh when we’re together” in The Notes 2. In YoonGi’s 2 August Year 22 entry, he also reflects on finding the note written in the margins of the music scores he took from the classroom. The handwriting isn’t his own. Additionally, a similar sentiment is expressed in a line of You Never Walk Alone, which is the basis for one of the BU-inspired Graphic Lyrics books.
SeokJin has a flashback of 20 March Year 19 in which the boys are excitedly chattering about HoSeok’s new club. However, given the larger context of this moment (both in the past and what prompts it in the present), the date of the memory may be a typo. On 20 March Year 20 in The Notes 1, TaeHyung overheard SeokJin in the classroom informing the principal of the trouble he and YoonGi had gotten into. SeokJin realized that NamJoon heard it but not TaeHyung, who remained hidden out of sight and then pretended not to know. It’s not impossible that this memory really occurred in March Year 19, but most of them had only met at the beginning of that month.
Did you learn anything new from these stories that I did not specifically mention? Let me know in the replies or tags! Please stay tuned for part 3, featuring JiMin and HoSeok’s stories.
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bakugoulvr420 · 4 years ago
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by your side
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thank u for the request 🐸 anon!! i hope that i understood the prompt correctly and this lives up to your expectations!!
f!reader x bakugou
tw: mentions of domestic abuse
“what, another villain attack?!”
today was supposed to be just like any other day, but unfortunately some villains found a way to infiltrate UA’s shitty security system and had invaded the gym that your class happened to be training in.
“well isn’t it a surprise to be seeing the infamous UA students here?” an unfamiliar villain chimed and he pointed at you all.
“who the fuck is that…?” bakugou muttered, barely audibly.
it was visibly apparent that everybody was more confused than scared because seriously, who the hell were these unfamiliar faces?
the villain pack consisted of 5 people that looked ridiculous in their costumes, which didn’t really help their attempts to look intimidating.
“i suggest you trolls leave our campus right this second. i’ve already contacted the security department and they should be arriving any second now,” your teacher aizawa threatened as he activated his quirk and bundled up the guy that just spoke.
“h-heh, it seems like somebody is real scared!” another guy snickered as he let out a couple of giggles.
for some unlucky reason, you happened to be the closest to the villain pack, in fact, you were closer to them than you were closer to your classmates.
“y/n, come here fast!” kaminari whispered aggressively at your direction.
of course you wanted to run into bakugou’s arms but it felt like if you made any subtle movements, the villains could attack you any second. you weren’t scared but this particular villain made you feel uneasy. it didn’t help that he was glaring at you since the beginning with a nasty glare plastered on his face.
“if you move i’ll kill your parents!”
naturally your eyes widened. out of all the things he could’ve said, he chose to threaten your parents. everybody in your class knew that your parents had passed away a long time ago. they all knew that it was a touchy subject for you.
“the fuck did you say you gremlin?!” your boyfriend screeched as he began approaching the group of villains. bakugou wasn't mad about the fact that the villain threatened your parents, but because he was threatening you.
“bakugou, do not attack. this is an order,” aizawa quickly said. “we don’t know what their quirks are.”
you took this opportunity to run to bakugou but unfortunately you were caught by the same villain that threatened your parents. he had knocked you down and was on top of you now.
“what was that reaction?” his eyes widened as well as his smile.
"you fuckin-" bakugou immediately reacted and blasted himself towards your direction.
“come any closer and i’ll kill her,”
everybody tensed up. your classmates and aizawa looked visibly shaken. didn’t aizawa call for help earlier or was he just bluffing to win some time?
“if you lay one more finger on her, i swear to god that i will be killing you,” your boyfriend growled.
“yea mhm. we’ll see about that,”
without wasting a second, the villain must’ve either killed you or activated his quirk, because you suddenly found yourself in your old childhood room.
“where am i…?” you thought as you inspected your surroundings.
you were in the bed that you used for almost half of your life. feeling confused, you got up and walked towards the exit of your room.
“what are you doing?” a familiar voice cooed.
almost as if your body was programmed to react, you flinched and looked towards the direction of the voice. it was your mother. she was right outside your room, staring at you from the crook of the door.
“m-mom?” you stuttered as you instinctively walked backwards.
“i asked what you’re doing,” she repeated, this time sounding much more hostile.
“i.. i’m not..” you struggled to find your words.
what exactly was going on? was everything a dream? you entering UA, meeting your friends- meeting bakugou?
“y/n,” your mother sighed. “what did i tell you about trying to leave your room?”
her body was now fully in your room, directly staring you down from above. her hair was messy and her clothes filthy. what on earth was going on?
“hm?” she hummed as she smiled. “are you not gonna answer me?”
the moment you tried opening your mouth to speak, her hands had already landed on your face. she had struck you, hard. the pain was immense. you swore you felt like your cheeks were on fire. though, the numbness that followed indicated that your cheeks had gotten used to the hard impact.
“answer me!” she shrilled as she slapped you once more.
“please. please stop mommy,” you were crying. you now remembered the countless amount of times that your mother had hit you.
“mommy? don’t fucking call me that. you know how much trouble i go through because of you?”
your little body was on the floor, instinctively covering your head with your arms. tears rolled down your cheeks, your throat noticeably dry from probably crying a lot just a few hours ago.
“you’re the reason i’m like this. you’re the reason my life is a living hell!” your mother cried as she began digging her nails into your skin.
“please mommy, please. please stop,” you begged.
the feeling of her clawed nails on your back began to dissipate. maybe she had dug in too deep to the point of triggering a nerve which made your back go numb. you weren’t too sure but this familiar was very familiar to you.
“y/n?”
“y/n! wake up!”
"are you okay?"
a pair of voices called out your name. you didn’t know why but those voices were soothing and made your heart beat a little bit less intense.
“i’m here, PLEASE wake up!”
you lifted your head and opened your eyes slightly. suddenly the room was no longer dark and it was a different setting. you were at the UA training gym.
immediately you were embraced by a pair of warm arms that managed to calm you down almost immediately. you didn’t have to waste a second to identify whose arms these were.
“bakugou,” you began sobbing.
his arms wrapped you even tighter as he planted a kiss on your head. “it’s all okay now. the villains are gone,”
you weren’t too sure of what he was exactly talking about, but you wanted to continue hearing his voice. the familiarity of his scent and touch overwhelmed you with a wave of comfort.
“what happened…?”
your classmates had surrounded you. it was visible on their faces that they were all worried for you.
“yeah… you kept saying momm-“
“idiot!” kirishima silenced sero immediately, hoping that you didn’t hear that.
“everybody get the fuck out!” bakugou growled, still holding you in his arms.
despite aizawa also being worried for you, he understood that bakugou would be the best at comforting you. after all, your boyfriend was much more familiar with your history, though not completely.
even after everybody had left, none of you exchanged a word. it was almost as if his physical presence was enough to communicate meaningful words to you. bakugou only continued to gently pat your head and readjusted you so you’d be more comfortable.
“bakugou,” you started. “i don’t know-“
“you don’t have to say anything,” he cut you off.
you looked up at his face and saw that he was experiencing a bunch of feelings simultaneously.
“i’ll kill that bastard for you, i swear,”
you weren’t too sure if bakugou hadn’t heard you say what the rest of your classmates had heard, or if he was trying to help you not think about what had just happened. either way, bakugou didn't torment you with questions.
“no bakugou. i saw my mom,”
he didn’t looked surprised at all. afterall, he must’ve heard everything yet decided to wait for you to address it yourself.
“i was in my room. my childhood room. then my mom came out of nowhere and,” your voice cracked a bit. “she began hitting me,”
bakugou had a slight idea of what you had went through but he never knew that it was this graphic.
“you’re safe now, okay? it’s all in the past and she’s dead. i’m here to protect you too, you know?”
you nodded and let all your tears stream out, eventually getting absorbed by bakugou’s shirt. during the whole time you were crying, bakugou stayed by your side without saying anything. it’s not like he had to say anything either, just him being there, it was enough.
after this incident, nobody really approached you to ask you nothing more than if you were doing better now. nobody ever mentioned the thing with what you were crying about while being under the quirk’s influence but, you knew that your boyfriend had done something behind the scenes to handle the situation for you.
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george-fabian-weasley · 4 years ago
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George Weasley — Wonder Part 1
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Summary: Best friends since the Sorting Hat, you have developed a curious feeling towards George Weasley recently. And you wonder, what it's like to be loved by him.
Words: 2,951 words
Warnings ⚠ : Slow-burn, Angst (kinda)
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"What does that one looks like?" You said, pointing to a constellation in the sky as you laid down onto the grass, right in front of Hagrid's hut. Beside you left and right were Fred and George Weasley.
You three had snuck out of the Gryffindor common room in the middle of the night to watch the stars. They have been exceptionally bright these days, so you figured why not.
Hagrid didn't mind you three, in fact he even prepared three mugs of hot chocolate in case you get cold outside.
"Kinda looks like an elephant, don't you think?" Fred mused, squinting his eyes hard to see the imaginary lines connecting to each star. "More like a dog to me." George chattered, clearly enjoying the cool breeze of the night.
"What do you see, Meredith?" Fred asked with a mischievous smile. You rolled your eyes, he used your middle name even when he knew you hated it as a tease sometimes. "Well, Gideon," Fred instantly groaned in cringe while George laughed in satisfaction, "I see a bloody goose." You laughed and high-fived with George.
"Never again am I telling my middle name to you." Fred chuckled in defeat, yet grinning as you out-teased him, as per usual.
You cackled in victory, "Ha, the sweet taste of victory sure taste good." You laughed again, holding your stomach. The twins had known that you were the type to be amused easily, and this was one of those moments. They watched you laugh with a few chuckles out of them themselves, sometimes your laugh were contagious.
After you had calmed down, the scene was serene again. "I wish we could do this more often." You muttered loud enough for the boys to hear. "Hmm, I dunno, Y/N. Reckon doing it more often would be quite boring, wouldn't it?" Fred spoke, the look of slight disagreement rested on his face.
You pouted slightly, not that you minded. Fred has always been an outspoken person, this is normal to you.
"Maybe next time we could do a night picnic? Sneak some food out from the kitchens, bribe the house elves not to tell a soul, and voilà." George offered an idea, his eyes occasionally glanced at you, then looked back to the stars above.
You widened your eyes in surprise as you quickly sat up and turned to his direction with twinkling eyes, "Really? We could do that?"
George scoffed a smile at you and slightly chuckled, "Of course we could do that, why couldn't we?"
Suddenly the time seemed like it stopped. You blinked at George, whoa okay since when did he look so good? He was smiling at you with his arm supporting his head while the other rested on his stomach, unintentionally flexing his outer-line biceps as the sweater Molly had given him last Christmas had become a little small.
Wait, what?
"Y/N? Y/N Meredith Y/L/N, do you hear me?" You blinked back to reality as Fred called your name. "Blimey, you really found the galaxy in George's eyes, didn't you?" Fred teased.
Before you could even answer, the voice of Mr. Filch was suddenly present, "Who's there?"
"Shit, hide, hide." George instantly helped you up and ran to hide behind Hagrid's hut, you and Fred were hot on his tails.
As Filch knocked on Hagrid's door, the half-giant opened it sleepily, "Oh, Argus. What do you want?"
"I hear students around your hut, you're not hiding them, are you, Hagrid?" Mr. Filch said and you three heard the change of tone in Hagrid's voice, "... Why don't you come in first, Argus? Have some tea."
You knew that was a sign to run once Filch had entered the hut. You made a mental note to yourself to thank Hagrid the next day for helping you three escape. As soon as the old squish entered Hagrid’s hut, George took a hold of your hand suddenly and ran to the castle’s direction. 
Was his hand always this big?
As soon as you three arrived to the hallways, you wheezed for air. Bloody Fred and George were nearly nowhere from huffing their breaths heavily, clearly their athletic bodies could handle a little run. But you, being a tad shorter than them and obviously not athletic, it was killing you. 
“Sorry, Y/N. You alright there?” George said, chuckling as he watched you wheezed an answer, “A minute...”
“Alright, you monkeys. Let’s go back to the common room now.” Fred hollered, clearly had already recovered and was walking, leaving George and you behind. George watched you take a deep breath and exhale, “Okay, I’m fine now.”
George was obviously entertained by your little show a few seconds ago, and you rolled your eyes with a lazy smile in your lips, “Amused now, are we?” You slurred boringly, earning a toothy grin from George, “With you, Y/N, always.”
You shoved him off, “Shut up, Weasley.” in hopes that could conceal the sudden heat rising up to your face. You two began to walk in silence, while watching Fred walking alone at the front. It was a comfortable silence, and the aura around you two were just too homey to break out of. 
You have a habit where you would hold your friends’ pinkie while you walk, and your entire friend group knows that. You couldn’t say why, maybe it brings you comfort that someone was beside you. So there you were, walking slowly to the common room while holding George’s pinkie.
When you three arrived to the common room, you felt your hand lost its warmth that George provided a few seconds ago as he pulled away...What the bloody hell?
“See you tomorrow, Meredith.” Fred called out while walking to the boy’s bedroom followed by George, you smiled and bidded your goodbye, “Goodnight, boys.”
Next morning came and you groaned in annoyance. After getting dressed, you walked down to the great hall for breakfast. You sat across the already-finishing-half-of-their-plates twins. “Merlin, Y/N, did you not sleep last night?” Fred laughed at you as soon as he saw the eye-bags beneath your eyes. 
“I can’t bloody sleep, you wanker. Dunno why, though.” You gruntled and began to eat your cereal. Ohoho, but you knew exactly why.
All night you were thinking of George Weasley. Since when did everything he do seem so attractive to you? Like that night when he was laying on the grass with one of his arm supporting his head while his other arm on his torso, how the hell did he pull that look off? Why did he look so good doing it? Or the time when he held your hand to run from Filch, and you remembered how visible his veins were, and how warm his hand was... what the fuck? Bloody hell, you were almost certain you’re going crazy.
And then you remembered how he let you hold his pinkie while walking last night. Suddenly your chest felt fuzzes and buzzes, and you heard your heartbeat clearly, whoa am I okay? 
The said boy waved his hand to you, snapping you out from dead-staring at your cereal, “You alright?” George asked, eyebrows slightly furrowing at you in concern. You blinked at him and coughed a bit, “Y-yeah, just remembered something.”
“Blimey, Y/N, your face is bloody red! Should we send you to the hospital wing?” Fred widened his eyes at you, munching whatever it was he was eating. You felt a hand touching your forehead, it was George’s. He stood up and reached over to touch your forehead, “I think you have a fever, Y/N.” 
You flinched from his hand as you suddenly realized something. Fuzzy chest, heart beating fast, heat up to your face whenever you think of George, can’t stop remembering how good he looked like?
Merlin’s bloody beard, you like him.
“I-I gotta go.” You said abruptly, running your eyes everywhere but George’s. “What, to the hospital wing?” “You need us to walk you there, Meredith?”
“No need! Uh, see you in Potions.” You shouted as you ran out of the Great Hall and to the bathroom.
'What the hell was that, what the bloody hell was that, oh my god-' You can't stop freaking out in your head, this feeling was foreign to you. Not that you've never liked someone before, it's just that you've been so comfortable with the twins it almost sounds completely and maniacally absurd to suddenly like one of them.
You ended up avoiding the twins for the whole day that day, trying to process your own feelings because Merlin, if even one of them found out you like the other, it could be the end of your long years of friendship as a trio.
As you returned to the common room after an exhausting day of avoiding the Weasley Twins as if they were plagues, you sighed.
You could remember the confused and slightly hurt expressions of the two boys, they knew something was wrong with you but they just couldn't pinpoint what it was.
And after a long day being alone with your thoughts, you have come to terms with your feelings. You do like George Weasley, in a romantically way. That-that shouldn't be a problem now, should it?
"Oi, Meredith."
You flinched and turned around, the twins had just arrived to the common room. "Heyyy, boys..." You put out a nervous laughter and an awkward wave.
"What's the matter with you today? You've been avoiding us for hours." Fred scowled. One thing about Fred is that he is very clingy with his friends, not that you minded, it just shows that he cares. And while you knew George is the same as his older brother, he tend to keep it hidden inside, in order to not offend anyone.
George was beside him, looking quite hurt also but concerned as well. Their eyes were on you, and you weren't sure which pair of eyes you want to look at.
You sighed, "I'm sorry boys, I shouldn't have avoided you like that. I just need some time alone with myself, to..." You trailed off, eyes glancing at George for merely a second before looking away, "... To think."
"You could've told us. Georgie here was worried if the fever you had this morning got worse." Fred pouted, before smiling slightly at you. Your heart beats significantly faster at the mention of George, yet you brushed it off.
Nothing will change this friendship. Not even this feeling.
"Awh, aren't you boys adorable." You cooed and laughed before settling down, "I'm fine though, the 'fever' I had is already gone, so no worries."
George smiled at you, "Well, glad that you're fine, but you could've told us earlier!"
"We were worried!"
"Sick!"
"And here I thought we did something wrong!"
"Well we're bloody done for if that's the case."
"Totally."
You laughed loudly, these were the times where the Weasleys would finish each other sentences, clearly shows how aligned their minds work together. And sometimes they didn't even notice.
While you were laughing, the Golden Trio came in. "Hey, everyone." Harry greeted, looking at you as your laugh took his attention. "What's Y/N laughing at?" Ron, the twins' younger brother, asked with amusement.
George shrugged with a smile, "Who knows."
"Y/N laughs at everything." Fred continued.
"Just your brothers being clowns as always." You mused, finally calming down. Ron snorted loudly, "As if they've stopped being clowns for even a second."
Everybody laughed, Fred even pulled Ron into a headlock and messed with his hair, "Ickle Ronniekins is starting to be funny, eh?"
The next few days came like a blur.
You and the twins reconciled as if you've never had any misunderstandings before. You were back becoming the three infamous Hogwarts prankster trio. Just this week, you three had received 4 detentions, 2 by Snape for simply talking in his class (typical), and 2 by Professor McGonagall for sneaking a Puking Pastille into one of a Slytherin's drink during lunch.
Poor guy had to have a bucket around him for a few hours.
Fortunately, the detention was held at the Astronomy Tower, Professor McGonagall had informed that the tower needed some cleaning to do due to some owls inhabiting there for a while. While Fred was brought down to the tower stairs, George and you were instructed to clean the top floor.
"Did you see his bloody face? Boy was as pale as a paper!" You cackled in joy, moping the floor while talking to George. George joined your laughter, adding something too, "If it weren't for the bucket he's holding, pretty sure Snape would've written something on his face."
Your laughter doubled, somehow it echoed through the whole tower and you heard Fred downstairs whining, "You two lots aren't having fun without me, are you?"
"Us?" You looked downstairs, Fred was looking up looking dissatisfied that he's not up there. "Never." You and George said in unison, yet the tone in your voices obviously stated otherwise.
You quietly laughed at Fred's face, he's clearly annoyed now. "Pretty sure he's gonna sulk later on." You muttered to George, who nodded in confirmation, "Yeah, reckon would take a while to talk him out of it, eh?"
You chuckled, "Just give him some fireworks and he'll be fine." George chuckled and shook his head, looking at his older brother lazily sweeping the stairs.
As you two continued to clean, suddenly the sky turned orange. Not orange specifically, more like the combination of blue, purple, pink and orange.
Ah, the sun is setting.
You were frozen on your feet, somehow the Astronomy Tower gave a perfect view of the sunset. The orange orb slowly going underneath Black Lake, and the water just reflected all of the giant star' light. It looked so ethereal, you simply forgot how to breathe.
You went and sit at the edge of the tower, your legs dangling at the dangerously high height. Yet you feel no fear, only warmth filled your heart. "It looks amazing, George." You breathed out, your smile was as wide as a door.
George came and sit beside you, only a few inches and his fingers would caress yours. "It looks really beautiful." He sighed, enjoying the warm sunlight that kissed his skin. You turned your head to him, watching George close his eyes and just enjoying the warmth of the sun, with a soft smile on his lips.
His skin, kissed by the sun, gives off a soft golden colour, and his red hair shine gently with it. His eyelashes somehow sparkled and the whole view just took your breath away.
Not the sunset, no. George.
When he opened his eyes and looked at you, as if you were in a trance, you couldn't pull away.
"Has anyone ever told you, that you're beautiful, George?" You breathed out, regardless of how breathless you feel under his stare.
"People had called me handsome and dashing before. But beautiful?" He slowly smiled, "... Not yet."
You blinked and looked away, nervously laughing. "W-well, you are. And so is Fred, and so am I." You covered up, your eyes watching the sun that is now getting smaller by time.
"Everyone knows you're beautiful, Y/N."
You snickered, "What was that supposed to mean, Weasley?" You teased, yet the heartbeat in your chest started to pick up its pace.
"Anything that you want it to be, sweetheart."
Your heart, as it seems, had plummeted to the center of the Earth. The heat in your face seems to double up, reckon that it's not the sunlight.
"Aren't you a bloody flirt." You shoved him to the side, chuckling. He joined as well.
As you looked at the sunset, suddenly there is this bravery inside of you. "Hey." You called. George looked at you, urging you to continue.
"I have someone that I like."
George's big eyes was so mistake that he was surprised. Y/N, the kid who has been growing up with them since babies, is liking someone?
"Who's the unlucky lad?" George asked excitedly. You rolled your eyes in playfulness. While your heart screamed, "IT'S YOU, YOU MONKEY!", you simply said, "None of your business, Weasley."
George scoffed, "Then why bother telling me." He said in a fake-hurt tone, and you chuckled. "Because it's not a big deal. I just... want to let things out."
"Well, let it out then."
You smiled, realizing George was looking at you, yet you kept your eyes to the slowly dissipating sun. "I wonder what it's like to be the one he loves."
"Ah, it's a he." He teased. You laughed and swatted him playfully, "Let me talk, woman."
"I wonder how he would be with his lover. Would he bring them to late night dates at Hogsmeade? Would he sneak into their dorm just wanting to cuddle?" You softly smiled, your heartbeat was increasing per second.
This is like an involuntary confession.
"Would he bring them home during Christmas to spend time with his family? Or would he give them gifts, no matter how many times they say it's okay. Would he... give his affection in public? Or in private because he's a tad shy?"
The surroundings turned quiet, and the orange sky had turned purple, the sun was no longer present, instead the little stars started to come out and play.
Suddenly the emotions came swarming at you, making you choked up. Tears were threatening to fall from the bridge of your eyes to you cheeks, and you cursed under your breath. "W-would he... give a chance to me? And let me see by myself if my wonderings are correct?"
You looked at him, George who was dumbfounded and looking stunned, and you smiled with teary-eyes, "I wonder."
PART 2: READ
(You can go to my masterlist to read other fics! Masterlist is in my bio :D)
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