#if I had realized I lied girls like a year earlier and if she didn't plan on moving away after high school and if if if

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i should get a shirt that says "I survived a homoerotic teenage girl friendship and all I got was this lousy t-shirt '

[ddejavvu]

Doctor's Note - Sodapop Curtis x Reader

summary: you stand soda up, accidentally

contents/warnings: soda is somewhere around 18-19, mentions of his failed relationship w sandy, distrust/miscommunication, angst -> fluff. based on my very painful experience this morning with crippling back pain

send me requests for the outsiders!

Selfishly, sometimes you wonder what it would have been like to date Sodapop before he'd met Sandy. When he was more carefree, when he wasn't glancing at any man you talked to just a second too long. He's not possessive- and even if he is, he doesn't enforce it. But you know he's wary, and you know it's her fault.

Darrel had warned Soda to stay away from girls for a while, to give himself a break. And he had. Two long years later his hiatus was broken when you'd come into the DX fiending for a coke, and when you'd asked, 'Do you know where I could find a soda 'round here?' his eyes had glimmered with opportunity, and he'd pointed proudly to his nametag.

"Right here, ma'am. No caffeine in me but I could keep 'ya up all night if you want me to."

It had been so wildly crass, so insanely audacious that you'd burst out laughing, both from the absurdity of his name and the brashness of his comment. He'd apologized for it, too, twenty minutes into your conversation that lasted an hour.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. I mean- I don't usually come on strong like that. Couldn't stop myself- prolly got it from my friend Two-Bit, he's always crackin' jokes like that. Hope you didn't think it was greasy."

"I think it was very greasy," You'd laughed, tilting your chin towards the tin of hair grease abandoned at the other end of the counter, "I thought that was the whole point."

"That's my buddy Steve's", Soda had told you, light dancing in his eyes as he readjusted his elbows on the counter to lean further towards you, "He does these real fancy swirls in his hair, and I've been able to do 'em a few times, but mainly I just slick mine back, and half the time I don't even grease it anyways because I'm just bummin' round the house so there's no need. My other friend-"

He was a natural-born talker, and you'd been just as caught up with talking yourself as you were with listening to him. It had taken the reappearance of his aforementioned coworker, Steve, for you to glance at the clock, and realize that you were 40 minutes past the time you should have been back at work from your lunch break.

You're surprised you hadn't scared Sodapop off with your swearing alone, but you'd managed to scribble your number onto his hand before you'd left. You hadn't even remembered to buy a drink, but he'd brought you one when he showed up for your first date.

Now, three weeks later, you're getting ready to show up to his house. This is a big thing: you're meeting his brothers. He's told you so much about them you feel like you know them, and he's also given you your fair share of warnings, too. Darry's too stern sometimes, and it might take a while for him to warm up to you. Ponyboy's an awkward teen, and on top of it, he'd trusted Sandy- they all had. You know you've gotta prove yourself better than her, and you're starting with some sweet perfume and a bundle of flowers for their dining table.

--

"Get your bum ass off the couch and vacuum," Soda's hands shove roughly at Ponyboy's thighs, "She's gonna be here in thirty minutes!"

"Jeez, Soda, she's not my girlfriend," Ponyboy grumbles, but he stands and heads for the closet where the vacuum lies all the same, "Don't understand why I have to be the one cleanin'."

"'Cause Darry's the one cookin'." Soda glares at him, "And I'm cleaning too. I've been cleaning for days."

"Bathroom looks good, little man." Darry voices his approval from the kitchen, "Thought I was gonna die of shock when I realized you'd scrubbed down the toilet."

Not much conversation is heard over Ponyboy's aggressive vacuuming, but Soda calls the cleaning at five minutes to your arrival time.

"Okay. Rules again?" He looks expectantly at his brothers, and Darry looks irritated that he's being grilled this time.

"No judging." Ponyboy grumbles, but he doesn't think it's fair, because Sandy had seemed so nice and sweet, and she'd run right out on Sodapop. So he feels like he has to judge, because maybe Soda's gonna get hurt again. He doesn't want that.

"No grilling." Darry continues, equally put-out by Soda's request. He wants what's best for his brother. Sodapop's two-year long relationship drought was refreshing, and he's seen the boy blossom into a wonderful man. Still, he can't help feeling some lingering resentment towards Sandy, and he knows it's not fair to attach it to you, but he doesn't know what else to do with it.

"And no arguing at the table." He glances between Darry and Pony both warily, "I mean it, this isn't the night to discuss grades or curfew or chores. Just- be nice to her. Treat her like a real guest."

"Alright, little buddy." Darry secedes, squeezing Soda's flannel-clad shoulder slightly, "Now, you gonna go wait by the door for her?"

"No! I'm not that desperate." Soda scoffs, but Darry notices the way he flops down into his eldest brother's armchair, the only seat in the house with a view of the front walkway. Ponyboy settles himself awkwardly on the couch, watching cartoons even though there's an anxious tension in his skinny shoulders.

You're set to arrive in two minutes, and Soda's practically vibrating out of his seat. There's no sign of the cute little sundress you said you'd wear today, but that's okay, because he thinks it's so considerate of you to show up punctually versus early. if you'd come fifteen minutes earlier you would have seen him near-tears over the spot of chocolate that wouldn't rub out of the wall behind the television. Ponyboy had pointed out that there's no way you would have seen it unless you'd been wedged between their tv and the wall, but Soda was not going to invite you into a messy home.

One minute goes by, and Soda's cuticles hurt from where his nails tear at them. He tries to stop himself- after all, you wouldn't want to hold his hand if his was bleeding. But his next nervous habit becomes fiddling with the hem of his shirt, which isn't nearly as satisfying for his fingers.

He waits for what he's sure is more than a minute, which means you're due to flounce up the stairs in seconds. But he doesn't see you, and he knows Pony's watching him crane his neck every three seconds to look for you. So he tones it down- after all, he's got a 10-minute grace period at the DX for his shifts. If he can clock in at 8:10 and still be 'on time', you can show up a few minutes late.

"Any sign of her?" Darry pokes his head out of the kitchen, seeing the front door still shut. Soda shakes his head- then he catches a glimpse of your hair color outside the window. Upon further inspection, it's a stray cat. Ponyboy snorts at him, and Soda sinks back into the recliner.

Okay, so you've used up your grace period. But Soda gets it- you probably sang one too many love songs about him in the shower, and now you're tripping over your own feet trying to run to his house. Or the bus was late, or you missed it entirely, and you'll show up before the food goes cold.

Fifteen minutes go by, and Darry hovers over the finished meal, wondering whether he should plate it or not.

Twenty minutes go by, and Darry considers removing one plate from the table.

Thirty minutes go by, and Darry turns off the stove.

An hour goes by, and Pony retreats to his room for some homework time. Darry's meticulously cleaning the kitchen, but Sodapop thinks it's more because he doesn't know what to say than because he thinks you'll judge them for a grease stain on the wall.

When Darry's scrubbed the kitchen raw nearly an hour later, he pads softly over to Soda where he still rests in his armchair.

"Soda, I- listen, I don't think she's comin' tonight."

"I told her today." Soda's got his fingernail pinched between his teeth, his leg having long-since stopped its nervous bouncing, "I- I know I told her tonight, and she said she'd be here, but I-"

Darry's hand squeezes his shoulder again, this time tighter, and something awfully familiar resurges in Soda's chest where it's laid dormant for two years.

"C'mon, little buddy." Darry urges him up out of the chair, "Let's turn in early tonight."

--

Soda's not doing his best work despite having gotten eleven hours of sleep the night prior. He's sluggish and mopey, and Steve sticks him on the register so that no one risks a foolish mistake to their car. Soda stares at a knot in the wood grain, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and doesn't look up even when the entrance bell dings.

"Soda-" He hears a voice, one that he'd been waiting since last evening to hear, one that exacerbates that sickly feeling in his chest. He hasn't been able to shake it, and your face had blended with Sandy's in his nightmares last night.

"Soda, I'm- I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you show?" He barely has the courage to look up at you, but he does, because last time he'd groveled. He'd begged, pleaded, bargained with her to stay with him, and he wasn't going to do that this time. He was going to be the man Darry wanted him to be.

"I'm sorry." You repeat, clutching a paper in your hands, brows permanently furrowed, "It was an emergency. I was getting ready, and- and all of a sudden my back started hurtin'. Real bad, Soda, I- I had to lie down on the ground."

Soda watches, interest piqued, as you stagger towards the counter, clearly limping. Sickness is replaced with worry in his chest, and he watches as you brace yourself against the register.

"My folks didn't get home for hours. I was just laying there, I- I couldn't reach the phone, I couldn't move my legs, I was just stranded there." Your voice thickens at the memory, and you sniffle absentmindedly, "Soda, I would have called you, I just- I couldn't move. I swear. I tried, Soda, I swear I tried to get to the phone, but it was so painful. And then when my parents got home they had to carry me to the car 'n all, and the emergency room took forever, and- and we didn't get home until three in the morning, and I knew you'd be sleepin' so I didn't call, and I felt so bad because I knew you'd be waiting on me, and- and I'm so sorry, Sodapop."

All at once yours and Sandy's faces come undone in his mind, and hers is cast aside as he studies yours. There's tears, big shiny ones lining your eyes, and your chin trembles slightly. You're still clutching the paper, and when you realize he's glancing at it, you gasp.

"Oh! I- um, I got you a doctor's note. I didn't want you to think I was lyin'."

You push the page towards him on the counter, and he takes it with trembling hands.

'Patient Y/N Y/L/N admitted to emergency services at 8:49 PM Wednesday, 30th July. Diagnosed with severe lumbar muscle strain. This patient is placed off of work from 7/30/1968 through 8/05/1968.

Patient would like to add that she did not intend to stand up her date with one Sodapop Patrick Curtis on Wednesday, 30th July. Patient would like to reschedule for another night. Doctor prescribes a calm, laid-back dinner date until patient recovers.'

"Had one hell of a time trying to get him to put that in there." Your sheepish voice pipes up from where Soda's reading the last words on the page, "But I told him you were a nice boy and he said there's not many of those around here. I'm sorry, again. I'm so sorry."

Lumbar muscle strain rings a bell in Soda's head. It's something Darry's definitely mentioned before, the few times they've bullied him into seeking medical attention for all of his blue collar aches and pains. He's sure if you're hurting the way Darry does sometimes, that you weren't lying about not being able to move.

You're staring at him like you're worried he'll send you away, and the piece of paper in his hands is the only thing stopping him from doing just that. But he glances down at it again, and takes a deep breath.

"It's okay. I believe you. My brother Darry, he- he pulls muscles sometimes. Don't usually see him cry, but I do when that happens. Are you okay?'

You visibly relax at his words, but something in your back must have protested the movement, because your face pinches up again.

"Um- yeah. Mostly. It hurts when I move too much." You admit, "But I had to make it down here to see you. I'm so sorry. Were you- were you angry at me?"

He doesn't think so- he was offended, he was disappointed, but most of all, he's pretty sure he was beating up on himself more than he was beating up on you. It felt like it did the first time, and he was the common denominator in both.

"No." He answers honestly, "But- uh, I think Darry probably is."

You wince, and he doesn't blame you. But he holds the note a little tighter, "But I'll tell him what happened. Like I said, he knows what that feels like. Don't worry about it, honey. You- uh, did you want to still meet them?"

"Of course! Of course," You nod eagerly, bracing your weight against the counter, "Do you still... want me to meet them?"

"Of course." He echoes, finally breaking his stoicism with a grin, a shy one as he reaches for your hand over the counter, still clutching the note in his other hand, "Can't argue with the doctor's orders."

[ang3lofdivinity]

❝𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐧❞

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Relationship(s): Yan!Andy (Andrew) Graves x Fem!reader

Format: Headcanons + stories.

Genre: IMPLIED Smut + fluff + some angst(?)

Warnings: Consent mf, intimidation, SA from one of the wardens to the reader, masturbation (reader and Andy), Leyley isn't super overprotective, Reader is very naïve and too kind (they consider all friends), kidnapping, stalking, Andy is kinda turned on by the readers constant praise and nicknames for him, smoking, swearing, smut has been removed because.. the more I realize it I want this account to be decently fluff.

Andy is a very reserved person.

He's an introvert as per what his sister calls him.

And she's right.

He doesn't like being around others, he's pretty logical, he's also very calm.

But, what he doesn't know is how charming he is to others.

Hell, bunches of girls try and get with him, while Leyley obnoxiously tries to get rid of them all.

So, he's never really had a long term relationship with anyone aside his sister.

And over the years, he's managed to craft, a meticulously created one, a façade.

A mask he's worked on for years.

One that he knows will never crack.

But perhaps he got too confident.

Because when you came along, he was restraining himself practically from getting excited after the first time he saw you.

He saw you, being the new kid in class back when he was still in school at a young age before being trapped in that hellscape he called his home.

You were an extrovert it seemed, turning out to be the opposite. But, you still cared a lot about everything and everyone, you introduced yourself sweetly with something along the lines of..

"Good morning, I'm (____) (_____). If you need anything, I'll always be right here."

You were so calm, so pretty.. how could someone be so pretty?

You joined a bunch of after school activities, student council and such.

Although, you seemed a bit worried over something always every time he saw you.

He felt something within his stomach churn whenever he saw you though, not managing to gather enough courage to talk to you.

So, you had to initiate the contact.

You saw him, being all lonely..

That made you feel incredibly horrible, you were in that position yourself once too.

So, you approached him.

And his heart fluttered.

"Good evening.. you're Andrew Graves, right?" You inquired as you sat beside him at his lunch table as your friends immediately started whispering to each other.

"Oh- I- I'm Andrew Graves, yes.." he cringed at his own stuttering, but you didn't seem to mind.

"Why don't you come and sit at my table with my friends?" You invited him with a warm smile.

He felt butterflies in his stomach, a feeling he never had in a while..

"Are- you sure? They won't make fun of me?.." he asked, obviously worried.

"Of course not! If they do, we can have lunch together alone if you want!"

"..alright."

That was the day he became so clingy to you.

Usually, he's very cynical. But, for some reason with you.. he could feel that your actions were very genuine.

And that's what got him attached.

Along with your humor.

"I swear to fucking goddess if Miss Alta keeps telling me to not draw, I will—"

"Good morning, Miss Alta!" You exclaimed happily the moment your communications teacher stepped foot into the room.

He almost wheezed, letting out a giggle at his failed attempt to restrain himself. His expression turned into one filled with guilt and embarrassment, but before Miss Alta or any of the students spoke, you blurted out.

"Ah, Miss Alta, there's something wrong with the air conditioning. It keeps moving a bit and making that scraping noise." You semi-lied as you turned to Andrew and gave a more sincere smile before paying attention once more.

..you would just, lie for him like that..

Your smile could make him go crazy, it couldn't be compared to anything!! The way you cried, your tears streaming down your cheeks as you ran to him when you got hurt on the playground earlier- blue diamonds couldn't even compare to the richness of them, and the way you were very touchy..

You always held onto his hand, holding onto his shirt as you walked behind him anxiously, anytime when you got older and watched any horror movie and clang onto him.

That's when it all went to shit.

You had to leave the state.

THE STATE.

After you had just got settled after the last time where you moved here as a child!

He almost broke down, wanting to pour out all of his feelings as if it would change anything.

But it was official, and Leyley had him all to herself. It was like that for years.

He was all alone.

He felt empty.

He felt empty without you.

Like a part of his soul was torn from him.

And that stuck with him forever.

Some sort of dark, black tar over his heart made it feel disgusting and filthy.

But for the lonely part..

It wasn't like that for long.

When they grew older, he started dating someone after so long.

His (ex) girlfriend, Julia.

But eventually, that all ended when he got put into that quarantined building with Leyley.

She broke it off with him on one of those nights.

He sobbed about it, and Leyley didn't help.

But, that's when he got a strange phone call when Leyley was asleep and he was still up.

He was hesitant, but his gut told him to pick it up.

And that he did.

And that was one of the best decisions of his life.

"..Hello?" He spoke, his voice raspy. He was unsure of what telemarketer would be calling at this hour, and it couldn't possibly be someone he knew.

"Andrew?.. is this really you?!.."

That voice.. that voice instead changed his mind of this being some sort of telemarketer.. how? Because that’s your voice. After so many years, you had called him!

"..(____)?!" He yelped out, almost loud enough to wake LeyLey.

"Oh dear— I'm so glad I can hear your sweet voice again!!" You exclaimed, sounding like you were on the brink of tears.

All of those previous feelings he had for you back when you were still around, they all came back in a flurry, overwhelming him.

"(____), I'm.. how did you get this number?.." he wanted to ask you so much more, but that's all that came out at the moment.

"I heard about the quarantine you got into with your sister.. I'm so sorry. One of the wardens was kind enough to give me your number! I didn't have much time previously due to my work.. but, now I have and I'm so thankful!"

"..Good god it's so nice hearing your voice again, (____)" he mumbled, smiling as tears prickled at his eyes. There were so many words that wanted to spill out of his mouth, but nothing came out due to his own self restraint.

"I'm going to get you out of there! I promise! You and your sister!" You yelped out, happiness laced into your voice. You were zeal about this, you were going to get him and his sister out of here. Or at least try.

"Wait- aren't you worried about the wardens??? They've been keeping us here!" He responded back, biting on his thumb.

"Eh?? Nah! I'm sure! The warden seemed to like me, I'm sure I can persuade him somehow." For some reason, this didn't sit right with him..

"..." He went radio silent, this feeling akin to foreboding surging through him with the sense of anger as well. But, he swallowed down his frustration and took some deep breaths.

"Andy- Andrew?.. you there?" You tried to fix your mistake. You heard his sister call him by that nickname once- so you know it's at least somewhat gotta be sentimental for him.

"..you can call me Andy" he slowly spoke up.

"Are you sure?.."

"I'm.. sure. Call me Andy." It almost sounded like a demand..

"..Alright, Andy."

He doesn't even let his own sister call him that anymore, but he lets you do it with free reign.. strange.

"Now, would you like to talk for a bit?.. or should I get straight to work with the pla-"

"Talk!.. please. I just.. I missed you. I missed listening to your voice, I missed just being with you.." he blurted out, cutting you off. He put a hand over his mouth in response, his eyes wide and filled with shame.

"..."

"..."

"...."

"I'm sorry- that probably sounded weird.." he spoke up after a long moment of silence.

"Nono! Don't apologize, I missed hearing your voice too, hun." You spoke sweetly to him, a smile he couldn't see plastered on your face.

"..Hun?" Saying the word made him feel this warm, bubbling sensation within his chest. It made him want to indulge in it more..

"I'm not gonna use Andy all the time, darling!" You giggled happily, and that just made something within his stomach churn and twist.. something that has been dormant for years finally stir.

It made his knees go weak, his mouth go slightly agape as he failed to make any words come out of his mouth for a while until you spoke.

"..Andy? Honey?"

"Oh- sorry just.. deep in thought.”

"Ah, I get that.. well anyways, what would you like to talk about?"

You two talked until the sun finally rose and you got sleepy.

"Night Andy, Hun!" He could hear you yawn.

"Night, (____).."

He then placed the phone back down, hanging up shortly after you did as he found himself already yearning and missing your voice.

But, he knows.. better.

He just can’t help it though.

..No matter, he’ll hopefully be able to see you soon as you said.

That would be wrong though.

Because guess what? That warden that was so kind to you was only there for your looks. He wanted you to have some.. “personal time” with you if you get my gist.

“No fucking way you creep!!” You yelped out, this man was about twice your age and asking you to have some personal time with you.

“C’mon, sweetheart!.. I promise I’ll make it worth your while” The warden spoke, a sickening smile on his face.

“No means no, pervert!! Now, let me see my friends, let me get them out of here!” The warden groaned at your response.

“Alright, look here sweet-cheeks. You aren’t gonna be able to save your friends and I shouldn’t even be helping you. So, you either let me have you and you can take your friends, or I kill you right here and now” the man gave you an ultimatum, causing your eyes to widen.

“I..” You almost bursted out into tears when the man moved his hands to your shoulders, lowering your shirt.

“Lemme take care of ya.” he hummed, pushing you against the table within the break room, tears pooling down your cheeks.

You then tried focusing on something else, noticing the fact he had a ring of keys on his belt..

The warden had a hand glide up your thigh, massaging the bundle of nerves there. You tensed, straining back any noises that would come out of your mouth.

“No need to hold back, sweetheart..” he pressed himself closer to you, this was your time to strike!

You punched the man in the face, causing him to stumble back. You fixed your clothes, jumping off the table, you stared at the man who was waddling around like an idiot. A huff escaped past your lips as grabbed the nearest blunt object and flung it at the man. It was a simple lamp, but it hit him real good in the head. Honestly, you felt powerful in that moment, finding the courage to continuously punching the man, letting out every last string of anger that you felt. It was basically free therapy! And, when you were done, he was no longer moving. You grabbed the keys before you marched off, now off to find Andy and his sister, Ashley!

It took you a bit, but after knocking on a few doors, you heard nothing but some shuffling.

“Andy!! Its me! (____)!!” You yelped out, taking out the ring of keys as you fumbled with them in your hands.

“..(____)!? You actually came!?!” He spoke up after hearing your voice, immediately rushed over to the door as he heard you unlock it, opening it for you, taking you by surprise.

“Of course, hun! I never break a promise.” You spoke more dulcetly, a smile upon your face as you looked up at him.

He’s.. grown taller than you.

He spent no time dawdling as he hugged you, pressing you close to him as he twirled you around.

“I’m proud of you for waiting this long. So proud.” You praised, causing Andrew to become flustered as he desperately tried hiding it.

You paused for a moment before you started giggling a bit.

“What.. whats so funny??” He asked

“Nothing. Just reminiscing of the old times.”

“..you’re talking like a grandma.”

You bursted out laughing, patting his back.

“Oh— really now? ‘Just be a good boy and be quiet!’ Is that better??” You were giggling, since you knew your words made any sense for some Grandma to say, but he wasn’t taking this as a joke. The way you called him a good boy..

It.. turned something on for him, craving for more practically.

“Okay I think thats enough mushy reunion stuff, mm?” You smiled sweetly at the boy as he pulled away from the hug, his face still slightly flushed.

“Yeah..” he internally cursed himself for almost stuttering.

“Where’s Ashley?..” you quietly asked.

From that moment, everything happened like some sort of descending spiral of madness. The thing with the demon and Ashley… killing the second warden, all of that fancy stuff. (being horribly mortified in the end.)

You had the both of them stay in the motel for a while until you could bring them into your home as you got them necessities; paying for them to continue staying, getting them new clothes, food, entertainment and others (not even knowing about their little hobby together.)

You’d visit once a week, much to Andrews begging for you to come more often, constant thanks as well from him.

“..I don’t think we can repay you ever for this.”

You always said it was fine, and his sister did too. She seemed more laid backed about the entire situation.

And, when you rushed in the middle of the night to their motel in your car to tell them the news that you finished up your work for their rooms and such, only throwing on a long overcoat, keeping on your nightclothes and throwing one some slippers.

..but they weren’t in there.

“PSSSTTT” the sound almost made you scream, but you turned to the cause of the noise.

“Ashley!” You smiled, not speaking above a whisper.

“Get over here!!!” You immediately rushed over to her without another question, taking her into an embrace.

“Woah- calm down, goody-two-shoes!” She grumbled, trying to get you to let go or at least loosen your arms that were tightly wrapped around her.

“You and Andrew can finally come over!!” You practically cried out, a bright smile on your face.

“..Where is Andrew..?” You questioned after surveying around, letting go of the embrace you tightly held Ashley in.

“Went to go and check on something.. don’t worry about it.”

“..Alright. I’ll wait here if you don’t mind.” You quietly spoke, standing beside Ashley as your hand subconsciously grabbed hers, intertwining them.

And Ashley didn’t say anything about it. Just to see how her brother would react, of course.

That didn’t go well, let me tell you.

He came back, noticing you, he was so excited like a puppy seeing their owner once more, but noticing that you were holding Ashleys hand..

..For some reason it made him pissed off.

“..(____), why don’t you hold my hand instead?”

You were already starting in his direction to tackle him into a hug, but Ashley pulled you back.

“Nah.. I think she’ll stay right here, holding my hand.”

“Ashley.”

“Yes, dear Andyyyy?”

“Let her go. Right now.”

“Mm, nah.” She chuckled seeing him get so riled up.

He flat up walked on over to you two, grabbed you by the waist, swiftly pulling you away from Ashley.

“Oh you jackass!!!”

But he didn’t care.

And then, you all heard another car..

Thats when everything else unfolded.

They killed that man..

And you witnessed it.

Then again though, he was a murderer as well..

..but why??

You were shaking like a leaf, catching Andy’s attention.

“Shh shh.. its okay. Theres no need to cry or worry, alright? It was in self-defense. I promise this won’t happen again.” He consoled you, hugging you closely as you nodded.

Ashley looked baffled though, one of her eyes slightly twitching.

..guess they’ll just have to not kill in front of you from now on.

Well, moving on from this..

You had made some fake ID’s for them (made by another friend of yours, of course) along with some birth certificates, you just wanted to help them get on their feet again.

That would.. slightly backfire.

No matter what, he became so obsessed with you, he started stalking you, watching you do anything around the house. When you’d turn to see if anyone was watching, no-one was there..

You brushed it off multiple times, but even when you were in the shower, or changing, you felt the same feeling. It was all.. unnerving. You hated it. You wanted it to stop.

But, it continued and continued, and it got to the point where you started asking Andrew if you could sleep with him for the night, to which he immediately accepted; surprising you.

You got into his bed, him pulling the covers over you despite the fact you already had a blanket with you.. but that was fine. You rested your head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around your lower back, pressing you closer to him.

And strangely, it seemed like all of the eyes that were previously watching you were gone. You could finally drift off to sleep, where Ashley would make fun of you both each time, but stopped suddenly after a bit..

But you shrugged it off as she was just bored of the joke now that you have cuddled with Andrew so many times now just for you to feel safer within your own home!

Little did you know that the person you were cuddling with was the one watching you all along..

His fingers threaded through your hair, humming ever so softly. He kissed the crown of your head, your forehead, your cheeks, and then eventually, your lips. You tasted sweet to him, sweet like nothing he’d ever tasted before in contrast to his usual taste of mint and cigarettes within his mouth.

He wanted more of it..

He then continued kissing your lips, now making out with your unconscious body, taking breaks in between to undress you from your nightclothes, underwear, and so forth.

In your sleep, you felt something.. swishing within your mouth. It was warm, tasting everything within your mouth almost, like it was trying to claim it!

You slowly awoke very sadly since you couldn’t get your beauty rest, trying to find the cause, just to see it was Andy. The person you were so close with. You instinctively pushed him away, or tried.

As much as you wanted to- you couldn’t hurt him. What would be everything you went for then? What would Ashley do?? You’d have to live with the guilt of possibly hurting one of your friends.

..is he even your friend anymore?

He took notice of that, opening his eyes instantaneously as he felt your touch. He pulled away for a moment, examining your expression.

The room was silent, the atmosphere was palpable as he turned to an emotionless face. He moved you closer to him.

“Andy!?” You yelped out as your body became tense.

“..Shit— shit, no, fuck, i’m so sorry. This is wrong-“ Andrew pushed himself away, getting up and threading his hands through his hair. His eyes were wide as he realized what he’d done.

“..Andrew, why??..”

“I’m sorry- that was disgusting- I’m sorry!..”

Your facial expression was bewildered, but you eventually just frowned and grabbed his arm (which was shaking.)

“Andrew, you should’ve asked me first so I could’ve consented. Especially if you have some sort of som—“

“Wait!.. how are you so calm?!” You really aren’t.

“..I’m not. But I would’ve just want some more information- some sort of talk about this entire situation before we could do anything.” Caressing his hand, you smiled softly, and he simply just stared at you for at least 5 seconds straight.

Consent talk?

Consent talk!!

He gave a long ass apology for his actions, immediately about to just get up and leave.

But you stopped him to talk further talked about the situation. You talked about what you really wanted.

And if you both were ready.

Even though all of this didn’t happen throughout one entire night, you planned everything out. What you two were going to do.

If you wanted a relationship.

Or just a situationship.

You both decided to test the waters first before deciding that.

You need to get out. Leave.

What are you doing?

Please, go.

He’ll kill you too.

You couldn’t fall asleep after everything that happened, so he ran a bath for you and him, washing you both.

After that though, he dressed you in some more comfortable clothes for the afternoon it seemed despite being early morning now.

He had you sit in his lap, smoking (trying to get you to smoke as well), tending to your wounds.

And that’s when Ashley came to you both later within the morning, groaning.

“Why was there so much noise in the night?.. could barely sleep..”

Safe to say, you gave a.. believable excuse

Wow- theres a lot here! But, I hope you all enjoyed!!

[marshvlovestv]

Video Games I've Experienced So Far This Year 1/23/25

Video games are my favorite thing and all I want to do with my life is experience every game I possibly can. I've moved all this video game journaling over to Backloggd but I should update my Tumblr with it periodically as well. I'm talking about games I've watched someone else play as much as games I've played myself. This entry reads like a vent post but that's just a product of where my mind is right now - any future entries should be more normal.

1000X Resist (watched: Welonz) Welonz is from Hong Kong. She understands what this game is talking about. She explains.

Anthology of the Killer (played) The first game I've found entirely because of glowing Backloggd reviews. I am not in the mental space to grapple with the political themes right now. The horror-comedy is fun.

Arco (played) I like this game a lot, so why do I have nothing at all to say about it?

Astroloco: Worst Contact (watched: ZenBear) A decade-old Let's Play of a shitty indie adventure game. I actually surprisingly enjoyed it.

Balatro (played) I'm starting to realize how abnormally bad I am at this game. I still pick it up from time to time but the draw is getting less strong. My brother and I both got each other Balato-themed gifts for Hanukkah.

Banjo-Kazooie (watched: PlayFrame) I wish I had a game I was this nostalgic for. I wish I had a friendship as strong as the two Dans.

Blasphemous (watched: adricarra) It feels so rare to find a Spanish Let's Player playing a Spanish game with Spanish text and Spanish voiceover. Watching these videos is all I'm using my bachelor's degree in Spanish for.

The Darkside Detective (watched: Kikoskia) The sequel was the first game I ever recorded a Let's Play video of so the series is important to me forever.

Dicey Dungeons (watched: SummerDumber) I wanted to replay this for a while but I think I'll just watch this girl 100% it instead.

Eat Girl (played) Pac-Man is a game everyone is nostalgic for, even if they didn't grow up a gamer. I'm almost never excited to play more arcadey games, but this one has sucked me in.

Guardians of the Galaxy (watched: Welonz) I adored adored adored the story, so much more than I thought I would. I think I'm attached to the game version of these characters now and I can never watch the movies or even read the comics.

Hades II (played) It feels stupid to go for completionism in an Early Access game where the devs could remove or change boons whenever they feel like it, but I'm going for it.

Hero Hours Contract (played) The pixel art is really cute but now that I've been away from it a few weeks I just remember it as a grindfest.

Landlord of the Woods (played) I thought this would help me get my YouTube channel back on track. It did not help.

Lies of P (watched: Quasimofo) Quasi knew next to nothing about Pinocchio going into this game and I'm pretty sure he also didn't know what Italy was.

Love, Ghostie (played) Was completely obsessed with this one for a few days. It's a too-happy, squeaky-clean version of video game romance and I was afraid my friends with edgier tastes would judge me for it. I loved every moment.

Neva (played) I don't know if I can finish this one. If something happens to this wolfie...

Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye (watched: PlayFrame) I do not see the appeal of this game. It's fun to watch, but every person I've seen talk about this game has been like "It's life-changing it's incredible" and it just looks like torture to me.

The Secret of Monkey Island (watched: Quasimofo) I made a complainy post about them earlier but damn I love adventure games.

Shipwrecked 64 (watched: Andrew Cunningham and mollystars) This was not part of my usual watching routine, two Deltarune video essayists I watch streamed this and I just wanted something mindless on while I did something else.

Stardew Valley (played) My problem with simulation games is how much restraint I put into it. I'm in the middle of my first fall and all of my crops fit in three little patches and I feel like that's not enough.

Sumatra: Fate of Yandi (watched: GSDBoxer) GSD usually plays RPGs. It was fun to watch him play an adventure game.

Sunless Skies (watched: Laila Dyer) I actually finished this Let's Play this month. It was 143 episodes long and I'd been watching it since July or August.

Wandersong (watched: Kikoskia) A super special game that introduced me to this super special YouTuber.

[khaoala]

I should’ve messaged you earlier when it was all fresh in my mind, but I had family stuff, and the notes I wrote during the episode are unhelpful lol

Ok let’s see here…

I feel like this whole thing has just been a domino fall of unfortunate events. Had the poor old grandmother raising her two orphaned grandkids raised them more equally then perhaps they wouldn’t have grown up resenting each other. Or perhaps if May had said something along the lines of “I guess we’re even now” when she rescued oom and told her about how she was rescued by “oom” all the years ago. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. It really just sucks all around.

Ai, the grandma, and May were all like “when oom recovers we’ll tell her everything” meanwhile Jan is over there throwing oom straight into the deep end of her memories and bringing her to her house and showing her the wedding photos and everything. You’re a real one Jan ✊🏽

Despite everything that has happened I still don’t hate Oom, i am still very much an Oom apologizer ᖍ(ツ)ᖌ . Like, yes, she said some VERY hurtful things, but she was heartbroken because she found out that the girl she loves is actually in love with the twin sister whose shadow she feels she has been living in her entire life! My heart absolutely broke when she saw Ai and may hugging and then later ai lies straight to her face about it all. That ultimatum though smh that was just cruel 😔😔😔. NOT COOL OOM!

PimPangJan 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ i just…..my sweet sweet Pim 😣. From the preview for next ep it looked like Pang and Jan had matching aprons on so maybe they’ll end up working together and giving their relationship a go. Meanwhile I guess Pim and Oom can carpool to therapy together ☹️.

Extra random thoughts:

- may keeps bringing up how ai telling her to be strong inspired her while growing up or whatever AND YET she seems to always forget THAT OOM SAID THE SAME TO HER IN THE HOSPITAL! Oom told her not to let her blindness keep her down but to fight to become like the “old may” again. Sure the circumstances were very different but still!

-Speaking of that, May being rescued was a pivotal moment in her life and a memory she had kept in her heart all this time, AND STILL, despite May recounting the entire encounter, Ai CANT REMEMBER HER AT ALL. 😂

- May wearing white to meet Ben’s mom while everyone else was in black but she looked SO FUCKING GOOD that we let it slide.

- I didn’t realize it was so easy to get a book published. Ai and Aoey (mate) both got their books published super fast lol

I can’t believe this shows almost over 😭

-🤫

this is a long one, i'm so sorry.

what a fucking amazing episode, wasn't it? i had so many feelings while watching this one and the only one i could actually pinpoint as annoyed was during the whole love triangle situation, and even then i felt sorry for the girls (mainly jan and pim, who am i trying to fool). in true episode 11 fashion, they stabbed you and twisted the knife to leave you bleeding and i was so satisfied they did that.

this whole situation started from a misunderstanding. if oon didn't trade places with oom when they were teens, then she would have never met may, and yes, then may wouldn't grow the guts to stand up for herself then, and would probably just stay like her father's minion following her mother's footsteps. it was all happy accidents until they all snowballed into a web of lies and deception and i don't have it in me to condemn them because to a certain degree, i do understand them all at this point.

maybe except may who had the bigger picture sooner, everyone was so scared.

oom distanced herself from may when she found out may's first love was oon, and only told her once she was in bed, blind and mentally trashed (and i totally agree with you here, both oom and oon told may to stand up and fight, to not give up and face life, and you can see how much she actually cared for may. my heart breaks for her every time because she truly thought may was the one for her, and then to find out that this wasn't it, she wasn't in love with oom, she was in love with the idea of the girl who saved her all those years ago) (which is so funny when oonmay are back to the place where they first met, and oon can't for the life of her remember may at all. i guess it's a testament that she's in love with the may in the present and not the idealized past).

oon was scared to not be chosen by may and kept lying and lying to her about her identity to the point she started hurting her own feelings. and then she lied again because grandma said they couldn't tell oom about oonmay since her always fragile sister wouldn't take the news well (which is true given what we had in this ep, but see how oom also tried prying for information early and they just brushed it off and tell her not to worry, and then she went to jan, and jan told her everything, and oom once again asked oon, and oon just lied again [understandably btw, pls don't think i think ill of her, i love my girl]. and that became something bigger [because i truly believe oom would throw a fit regardless, but it wouldn't be so big if she had found out from oon and not from her own memories coming rushing back at full force all at once]).

then on a smaller side we still have kosol, who kept the secret about being the responsible for may's accident because he ofc was afraid to go to jail and also leave ben to fend for himself.

as you might have noticed, friend, i, like you, am also an oom apologist. that doesn't mean i don't think she was extremely unfair and hurtful, but i also think it's so unfair to downplay her feelings in this situation as if she doesn't care for the people involved. let's remember that she recently came out from a coma, has been lied to, and in her head probably, have been made a fool of since no one bothered to tell her what happened (including telling her about the dead husband who she didn't love, but was one of her guarantees she could be loved. not saying she wasn't at fault. i felt extremely bad about paul in this episode, he seemed like the most genuine person, to be honest.)

i gotta talk about may and film for a second too, before i talk about the messy triangle. film is amazing. she's like a force of nature especially in emotional scenes. i got tear eyed in that hospital scene where oom confronts her and she's so desperate and sad and lost, but this one takes the crown. it was heartbreaking seeing her in that pier. that whole monologue of "when did anyone ever ask me what i wanted" felt like she was taking out my heart and squeezing it with her bare hands. i love this woman. i love her acting. i love love love her an absurd amount. that's all. i'm normal again.

i still hate the love triangle, i'm sorry. what was even pang kissing pim for? "these are my feelings for you," the fuck they are! you've been indifferent to this woman since ep 1, love, why did you have to kiss her (tho ngl, pim is so down for pang STILL, it's a little pathetic. don't get me wrong, i love a pathetic in love person, but that works better when the feelings are reciprocated). i've said this before, but at least the pangjan kiss was good. like real good. i need ciize to kiss more women from now on, it's a need i have deep inside me.

i'm so sorry for the pluto cast who'll have the final episode fanmeeting and will have to watch that surrounded by fans because i know for a fact at least namtanfilm will bawl their eyes out. i know i will cry like a baby regardless because it's just how this works.

[scarlettscribbles]

the 26th hunger games

PART OF neither the angels in heaven above, nor the demons by the sea DRABBLE SERIES ↠ masterlist

- Lucy Gray Baird & Daughter!OC, endgame Lucy Gray Baird x Coriolanus Snow

Summary: 1.5k words - Annie gets reaped as District 12's female tribute.

a/n: those who read annie's original name...no you didn't. i just realized that Covey names include a color as their second name lol

"And for our final tribute from District 12…" Flickerman squinted at his card, confusion overtaking his features. "Annabel Rose Baird."

Annie's blood froze in her veins. The sounds of gasps and general unease of her classmates were drowned by the high-pitched noise of panic in her ears. Her full name was something she’d not heard often, only spoken by her mother when she’s feeling particularly irate with her, and by Annie herself in the mirror every morning, trying to remind herself that she was still her mother’s daughter, despite having to hide the fact from virtually everyone she knew.

Her Ma, oh god. Annie hoped she and Tigris were together watching so they might find some semblance of comfort in each other. After all the hardships she faced just to keep her alive, only to see her daughter put on the chopping block for the same twisted games that still gave her nightmares, it was too much for one to bear.

Flickerman looked around fretfully, nervously tapping his ear piece. "It seems the feed won't come from District 12, folks but from our own…academy."

The big screen was suddenly filled with Annie's pale face. Compared to the other transmissions, this one was more grainy, likely coming from a security camera. It would be a huge giveaway otherwise.

On it, the balm she applied on her lips earlier looked almost blood red on the canvas of her skin. The words "Annabel Rose Baird" were shining in bright letters. She could feel her heart rate pick up. Her right hand twitched, wanting to follow the soothing motion she typically does over her chest, but her limbs were locked.

"Well, that was certainly a surprise. But the Capitol has confirmed that the Academy's district scholars are not discounted from the reaping. This is certainly a step up from last year’s Quarter Quell. It seems our gamemakers are very hard at work to keep us on our toes!" Flickerman laughed awkwardly.

Lies, thought Annie. She and her Ma read that contract top to bottom, ensuring nothing in it would endanger her. Besides, Tigris was the one who offered the opportunity to her and she would never have agreed to be her scholarship sponsor if this was included in the conditions.

Annie tuned out the Flickerman’s parting words. The silence after the broadcast had ended only served to highlight the drumbeat of her heart. She only snapped to attention when two Peacekeepers seemed to have come out of nowhere, guns at hand and ready to escort her.

Cassius was the first to block them, then followed the rest of her friends and the other district scholars. Annie felt more grounded as she watched her classmates form a wall around her. She surveyed their faces. Annie didn’t know most of them but she had observed over the years how the district scholars became friends with the Capitol students, softening their perception and treatment of people coming from the districts compared to the generations before them. Did the Capitol expect this, she wondered, when they first accepted twenty-four district scholars in the hallowed halls of their Academy?

She looked up to the stands where President Snow stood. He had a glazed look to his eyes, as if seeing a ghost. Did he know, then? Was he starting to figure out?

A thrum of nervousness went through Annie, that part of her that always sought out his approval rearing up. What would he think of her now, the girl who he’d promised to take under his wing after graduating at the Academy? Was he looking back at their every interaction over the years, looking for the signs that led to this moment?

“Stand down.” The Peacekeepers cocked their guns, making her classmates flinch. Despite the bravado, they were just children, and some of them never had any reason their whole life to fear the Capitol’s military arm.

Cassius had the gall to step in front of one of the Peacekeepers, the muzzle pressing to his chest. Annie wanted to scream at the brave, stupid boy. Wasn’t it only last year that this same boy was antagonizing her, calling her a Snow bastard child and Capitol-wannabe? He wasn’t wrong on the former, but he had been thinking about the wrong person as her parent.

“Back off!” Cassius shouted. “Annabel Rose is not going to be a tribute!”

Shouts of agreement rose up in the crowd. “The reaping policy is bullshit, they never said that when they sent out the acceptance letters for district scholars!”

From the stands, Crane stood up, looking annoyed at the proceedings. “And you district bastards wouldn’t have had any opportunities if the Capitol hadn’t picked up you up,” he said. “You would be starving still, and illiterate, dying in the slums you call home. Stop being so ungrateful. The least you could do is provide entertainment.”

The sound of a fist smashing against his cheek echoed in the auditorium. After the first punch was thrown, it was utter pandemonium. Annie ducked, narrowly missing getting a black eye. She had to get out of here fast. If the chaos went on for long enough maybe she could slip through the gates and run to Tigris’ house. If she knew her mother, she would be packing their things already. They would just need a mode of transportation so they could get out of this—

Annie startled when someone grabbed her arm, almost kicking the person until she realized it was President Snow. Damn, she hadn’t even made it to the door.

“I—" I need to go, please let me go, was what she wanted to say. Annie knew he was not indifferent to her. By virtue of being a talented student who was also close to Tigris, he treated her more warmly and gave her more privileges compared to any other student from the Academy, Capitol or not. Annie might not be the Dean’s golden student but, in her opinion, President Snow’s attention was far more worth than any praise from Dr. Gaul.

Annie didn’t know how far his regard went, if he appreciated her for her use or for her as a person. It was difficult to read him no matter how hard she tried.

President Snow seemed like he wanted to say something when the Peacekeepers began firing. They both jumped. Annie wanted to break away from him to run but he was quick to pull her behind him.

“What in Panem’s name do they think they’re doing?” he muttered angrily. Annie peeked around his side and, to her relief, nobody seemed to be gravely injured. The Peacekeepers had fired into the air as some sort of warning. There was no damage besides the holes on the ceiling of the auditorium.

A bark of laughter broke through the ensuing silence. Dr. Volumnia Gaul clapped slowly. Annie couldn’t tell if her piercing stare was directed at her or the president.

“Well that was some spectacle!” she said. “You’ve all provided such a good performance, but alas, the matter has been decided.” Well, that answered the question of who was responsible for the sudden change. But the question was why? Annie never antagonized Dr. Gaul nor given her any reason to suspect her identity. Why now?

“It hasn’t been.” President Snow’s clear voice answered. “Decided, that is. How come, Dean Gaul, that it is only now that I hear of this change? It certainly wasn’t detailed in the proposal you sent to me.”

Neither of them seemed concerned about the well-being of the Academy students, engrossed in what looked like a power play that stemmed from an ongoing argument. Meanwhile, Annie’s classmates were congregating together, assisting the injured ones onto chairs. The few brave ones skirted past the Peacekeepers to retrieve first-aid kits from the clinic.

“After the success of last year’s Quarter Quell, I thought I would create another twist of my own making, seeing how much our audiences loved it. And isn’t that our purpose, President Snow? To entertain?” Dean Gaul smiled toothily, teeth stark white against her blood-red lips. “Besides, Mr. Crane had the right idea of it— somewhat. What would the people think of us, President Snow, if we started treating fodder as our equals?”

The crowd stood divided. It was a strange sight. Stranger yet, perhaps, that the president was on theirs (hers?).

“Or perhaps your outlook has changed since Sejanus Plinth?” President Snow stiffened. Dean Gaul caught his reaction, looking like the cat that got the cream.

“Sejanus was my friend,” he answered. “It is partly in his honor that our Academy’s district scholars are given the opportunity here in the Capitol, under my express approval, to be given the privilege of knowledge and a good future. To share what the common Capitol citizen has.”

“I will not be criticizing your…initiative, esteemed president,” she said in a tone that definitely meant she was criticizing heavily. “In fact, I’ll give her that. A privilege to be the first from the District 12 tributes to enjoy the mentorship program like how it was intended to be.”

No—

Two Peacekeepers came in, marching forward a woman who was, for all intents and purposes, forgotten by the Capitol.

“Ma!”

[jerzwriter]

All in the Past 2/3

This started as a request from @angelasscribbles for ONE scene. Three parts later... I decided to make this a follow-up and alternate ending to one of my favorite short, angsty AUs, Unblemished, because we needed more angst. All three parts will be posted today.

Series Summary: Tobias & Casey were friends turned lovers whose different dreams led them to become friends once again. Two years after their painful breakup, Casey has moved on. Tobias is in town to attend his friend and one-time love's wedding, with his new girlfriend on his arm. It's just the wedding of an old friend, or, is it?

Part 2 Summary: Tobias's girlfriend, Meghan, has some questions for him, and he answers honestly - or so he thinks. Sienna attempts to get displeased Casey to see the truth. Tobias finally runs into Craig, the groom-to-be, and then it all falls apart.

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Characters/Pairings: Casey MacTavish (F!MC) x M!OC, Tobias Carrick x F!OC, Sienna Trinh

Rating: Teen

Words: 3,100

Series Masterlist

Tobias x Casey Masterlist | OH Masterlist | Full Masterlist

His eyes were wide open. Every microscopic crack and spec of dust on the ceiling above had been committed to memory. Tobias accepted that sleep wasn't going to happen about an hour ago. No, tonight, it was him, the humming sound of the air conditioner and his latest girlfriend blissfully sleeping at his side. Without waking, she snuggled closer to him, and he ran his fingers through her long, auburn hair as guilt consumed him. He genuinely liked Meghan; he cared for her. She was witty and kind. So beautiful that every head turned her way when she entered a room. He enjoyed her company, and she was good to him. Perhaps too good. He knew she deserved better than the half-truths he fed her early tonight. But were they lies if he was struggling to understand the truth himself? Any other fool would recognize what they had in Meghan. Then again, any other fool would never have let Casey go.

~~~~~

(Earlier that day)

Returning to his hotel room usually meant only one thing for him, but that's not where this was headed. Meghan, bless her, didn't seem upset. Still, Tobias couldn't shake the uneasiness that began creeping up on him during yesterday's flight and hadn't seemed to let down since. This wasn't the weekend he planned. A quick getaway to a luxury resort, a little pampering for him and his girl, some laughs with old friends, then wishing them well as they embarked on their new life together. It was supposed to be easy. Simple. But the human heart and mind can act in peculiar ways. Denial isn't always intentional, nor is it meant to be cruel. Sometimes, it's a mechanism designed to protect the individual at all costs. But there is a downside. We never know when the façade will begin to crumble, and even then, the truth isn't easy to accept. Tobias was about to learn a harsh lesson. We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Meghan sat on the edge of the bed with a gentle smile. Removing her new sandals and gently rubbing her sore feet, breaking in new shoes hadn't been on her agenda. Tobias dutifully sat at her side, taking over the task so she could rest. Her head tilted back as her eyes closed, and a soothing sigh escaped her. This was nice. So nice that Meghan considered putting the rest aside. But she wasn't about to let a little comfort win over her practical mind. 

"Tobias..." she began, gently touching his cheek. "I'm not mad, but I do want some answers."

"Sure. Ask away..."

"Why haven't you been upfront with me about you and Casey?"

"What do you mean? You know she's my ex, and we were friends before that. We decided being friends worked better for us, and that's what we've been for years. Where haven't I been upfront?" 

"Maybe it wasn't your intention, and maybe I read it wrong, but I was under the impression she was a friend that became a brief romance until you both realized you should have never taken that step. But since we left Boston yesterday, I feel like there's more."

"Meg, Casey wasn't a fling, if that's what you're asking. We cared for each other greatly but wanted different things and decided we'd be better apart. And she's getting married tomorrow... so it's worked out well for her."

"Perhaps.  But how it worked out for Casey isn’t my concern... but you... I know we're relatively new... so this isn't a life or death issue... but I don't want to invest my heart anymore if you're still in love with someone else."

"In love with!" He blurted. "Meghan, we've been over for two years. Do I love her as a friend? Yeah... but I'm not in love with her anymore."

"But you were..."

"Yes, was... past tense. Are you telling me you don't have anyone you've loved in your past?"

"Of course I do. At our age, most do. But... I feel like she's the one who got away, which is fine. Many of us have that person in our past, but most don't attend their weddings."

"You’re right. And I wouldn’t attend her wedding if that’s who she was.”

“Tell me why you broke up, the real reason.”

Tobias stood and paced the floor. “Her residency ended, and she was deciding what offer to accept. Duke was a great fit, but... that led to the where are we headed discussion. She wanted to get married, have kids, a dog, and a backyard... I wanted Boston or at least another city. I don’t like grass. I wasn’t too sure about a pet. I didn’t mind a partner, for life even... but marriage, kids... that always sounded like a trap to me, one I didn’t want to fall into. We talked, and when we couldn’t find a compromise, we decided to go our separate ways.”

“Was it hard?”

“The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“Then you see my point... it wasn’t easy, and she’s still one of your best friends.”

He returned to Meghan’s side, gently touching her knee. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear about the extent of our relationship. But it’s irrelevant... because we’re in the present. Casey and Craig are my friends... I haven’t been sitting around pining for her.”

“What if she wasn’t with Craig?”

“Meg, that’s unfair. We can’t sit in a pile of what ifs; we can only go with what is.” 

“You’re right,” she sighed. “I just don’t want my heart trampled on. I care about you, Tobias, and I think we’re building something good... I just want to make sure you’re all in, too. Are you?”

“I am,” he swallowed. “I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t believe that.”

“OK,” she smiled. “Then there’s nothing more to discuss.”

“Look, I’ve had enough wedding events to last me a lifetime. Why don’t we go do some sightseeing, just the two of us? We can go wherever you want. No one will miss us until the ceremony tomorrow.”

“I’d love that,” she smiled. “But let me change into something that matches the shoes I had on during the flight. I don’t want to break anything else in until the wedding.”

“You do that,” he smiled. 

He grabbed a beer from the mini-fridge, waiting for the sense of relief that washes over you after a discussion like the one they just had, but it never arrived. He mindlessly pulled the curtains aside to take in the view. The upgraded room was worth every cent; the view was magnificent. Then he shook his head. Of all the things his eyes could have landed on... it had to be her. She sat poolside, eyes glued on the book in her hands, and he chuckled. He never could get her out of a bookstore. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. I’m not in love with Casey anymore. He insisted. I’m absolutely not. So why did his heart ache as much as it had on that Boston night? After all this time, why did he feel like it had never healed at all?

~~~~~

Sienna was the vision of a Northern tourist, happy to be enjoying a balmier climate as she walked alongside the pool in a bright floral swimsuit with a matching sarong, Jackie O! sunglasses, and a floppy straw hat. The look was completed with the two frosty tropical drinks in her hands. Her smile was as bright as the afternoon sun as she approached Casey.

“I know you’re supposed to be relaxing for the big day,” she grinned. “But I would be remiss in my maid-of-honor duties if I wasn’t checking to ensure you’re not getting sunburned.”

“That’s what this lovely umbrella is for,” Casey smiled.

“Yeah, but it helps if it’s opened,” Sienna chuckled as she twisted the lever.

Casey accepted the strawberry daiquiri, humming with delight as the sweet sensation enveloped her. “This is so good. You’re a lifesaver.”

“That’s what best friends are for! Now, relaxation is nice, but is there anything I can do for tomorrow?”

“Nope,” Casey replied confidently. “All under control.”

“OK, what about for the rehearsal tonight?”

“Under control, too.”

“Casey, I’ll admit, I don’t have much experience with weddings, but I’ve never seen a bride this relaxed the day before her wedding!”

“It’s just a wedding,” Casey shrugged. “Our mothers are happy driving themselves crazy over the details. I just have to show up for hair and makeup, put on my white dress, and smile. It’ll work out.”  

She turned back to her book, unaware of the concerned look her friend had fixed on her. Finally, Sienna had to speak.

“Casey, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Are you... happy?”

“Happy? Yeah... I’m happy.”

“Forgive me if I say that response isn’t terribly convincing.”

“Well, one doesn’t have to be gushing and oozing with delight to be happy, Si.”

“No, but it’s the day before your wedding, and maybe everyone isn’t a gushing, oozy kind of happy person, but... you always were.”

Casey closed her book and leaned back in the lounge chair. “If you have something to say, say it.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t be your best friend if I didn’t. Do you want to get married?”

“Of course I do. Craig is a wonderful man, and he’s so good to me. We’re happy!”

“Happy... but not gushy and oozy happy.”

Casey removed her sunglasses and sat up to face her friend. “Who’s to say that’s for the best? I had gushing and over-the-top happiness. I know what it’s like. But what did it get me? It got me a broken heart. That amazing high dropped me into the lowest lows of my life. Days, months when I didn’t want to get out of bed...When I didn’t leave my house if not for work. And who got me out of that? Craig. He helped put me back together. And we are happy. No, it’s not all fireworks and rainbows, but those things aren’t real life. I’d rather live with reality.”

“Forgive me for saying this, Casey. But... I hope you’re not selling yourself short. I like Craig, I like him a lot, and I know he’s good to you, but you deserve the fireworks kind of love. And so does he. Settling isn’t going to do anyone....”

“I’m not settling! I love Craig; he loves me, and I’m not settling!”

“But are you in love with him?”

Casey looked directly at the pool without saying a word. She knew Sienna could see right through her when she lied, so she felt it wiser to say nothing. But Sienna wasn’t letting her off the hook.

“More importantly... are you in love with someone else?”

Casey’s neck flipped in Sienna’s direction with fire in her eyes.

“What are you insinuating?”

“I’m not insinuating. I’m asking. I’m not letting you say I do if your real answer is I’m not sure!”

“But I am sure!” Casey looked around to ensure no one could hear, then leaned closer to Sienna. “Fine! I’ll address the 800-pound gorilla in the room! Is my relationship the stuff of fairytales? Do I have moments when my heart practically stops beating because I love him so much? No. But real life isn’t a fairy tale. I had that kind of love, and I know how it feels. I was naïve enough to believe that if you find that, you would both do everything you can to never let it go. But you know what? I was wrong. Because I had it in my power to save it, and Tobias had it in his power, too. And guess what? Neither of us did. So what does that tell you?”

“It tells me you admitted you still love Tobias... but you’re not marrying him tomorrow.”

“You’re right. I’m not marrying him tomorrow, and I never would be.”

“So you’re settling.”

“NO! I’m not settling; I’m marrying someone I love and who loves me in return. Someone who wants the same things in life. Someone that I can build with and grow with, and that’s not a bad thing!”

“It’s not, but I feel like you’re selling me an insurance policy, not a reason to get married.”

Casey began to gather her belongings with a huff.

“You know what, if you disapprove of me marrying Craig and don’t want to stand up for me tomorrow, then don’t. But I’m marrying Craig tomorrow, and I wish it would be with my best friend by my side.”

“Hey, hey, hey...” Sienna grabbed Casey by the shoulders. “I’m not backing out. I’ll always stand beside you, no matter what. I just... I want to make sure you’re following your heart.”

“I’m following my head, Si. It’s always served me much better. I’m following my head, and my heart will follow. Now, please, can you try to be happy for me.”

“Sure,” Sienna said, pulling her into a hug. “I’ll try.”

~~~~~

Sightseeing on a scorching hot day was slightly more strenuous than Tobias & Meghan bargained for, and she had the splitting headache to prove it. As she lay in the room with a cool facecloth on her forehead,  Tobias headed to the hotel’s gift shop to pick up some more ibuprofen. He had just taken his wallet out to pay when he felt a clap on his back.

“I was wondering when I’d finally run into you.”

“Craig,” Tobias blurted as he greeted the groom-to-be. “I was wondering where you’ve been. Is the hospital going to let you attend your own wedding?”

“They are now,” the handsome, dirty blonde man smiled. “As of this afternoon, I told them to pretend I was already on my honeymoon in Bali because I’m not answering my phone.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.”

Tobias liked Craig. At least he liked him as much as he could like the next man in Casey’s life. He didn’t want to. In fact, at first, he decided he wouldn’t. The first time he met him, he spent his entire drive to Raleigh listing all the reasons he wouldn’t like him. But Craig was so polite, friendly, welcoming... and he was good to Casey. What choice did he have?

He’d never forget the day he learned of existence. Casey called with the words he wasn’t prepared to hear. “...I didn’t want you to find out from someone else.” Tobias was sure his heart had stopped. He knew the day would come... someone like Casey wouldn’t remain single forever, but... this soon? Barely six months had passed... and he wasn’t prepared for how profound the pain would be. He tried convincing himself it was for the best, even when his visceral reaction was to book a flight to North Carolina and beg her for a second chance, to tell her he had made a horrible mistake.

He made a horrible mistake.

For the first time since they broke up, Tobias had been honest with himself. Now, he had to let her know. As Casey kept talking, he was thinking of the best way to tell her, but then, he heard the smile in her voice. It had been gone for so long. The end of their relationship had been punctuated with painful, tear-filled conversations; then abject heartbreak followed their choice. He almost forgot what it was like to hear her... happy. It killed him that another man was the cause, but who was he to take that from her? He hurt her enough already.

He tried to console himself. It’s just a boyfriend, a transitional one, at that. When they inevitably break up, I’ll be on the first flight to Raleigh to set this right. But a year later, Craig was on one knee, Casey was saying yes, and Tobias decided he’d have to learn to live with his heart cracked in two. He knew it would never heal, but he had to find a way to let go. 

“Casey mentioned you wanted to shoot some hoops,” Craig's voice pulled Tobias from his thoughts. “The only time I’d have is tomorrow after breakfast...and it would be cutting it close.”

“You know what. Let’s do it next time we get together. My luck, you’d end up breaking something, and Casey would never forgive me.”

“What a notion!” Craig laughed.

“What?” Tobias laughed with a raised brow. “You breaking something?”

“No. Casey not forgiving you. In what world? You have to know my fiance would forgive you anything. But, I appreciate sparing me the broken bones.”

“Yeah, uh..” Tobias sputtered. “It’s your wedding day... hoops with me shouldn’t be on the schedule.”

“Nope, far more important things to tend.”

“You’re so right,” Tobias smiled wistfully. “I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thank you,” Craig said, extending his hand. “That means a lot.”

“Casey is a wonderful woman. Be good to her.”

“You can count on it,” Craig smiled.

To Tobias’s relief, a gaggle of groomsmen appeared out of nowhere and pulled Craig away. Tobias slipped into a waiting elevator, never so grateful to be alone, because one by one, the boulders in his wall of self-denial began to fall. He loved her, he loved her with all his heart... and he lost her... at this time tomorrow... she’d be another man’s wife. Life is full of mistakes; everyone makes them, but the most painful mistakes of all require us to live with a lifetime of regret. He felt the elevator walls closing in on him as his life sentence became clear; panic filled his chest, and he couldn’t breathe. His legs unable to sustain him, he fell to his knees, and for the first time in a long while, he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.

And that’s how he ended up here. Lying in bed with the ceiling, his only friend. He couldn’t take anymore. He had to get out of the room, or he was sure he’d lose his mind. So he slipped out of bed and left a note for Meghan so she wouldn’t worry if she woke. The hotel’s bar closed hours ago, but the 24-hour liquor store was delivering a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. That and a lounge chair in the gardens would need to get him through the night.

He was a quarter bottle in with no idea how much time had passed. He had already bargained with God three times. Couldn’t He just turn time back a couple years? Was that asking too much? Apparently, it was, and he was still sober enough to know asking a fourth time wouldn’t change the outcome. Downing the rest of the bottle and sleeping for a week sounded ideal. Still, sanity won, reminding him alcohol poisoning wouldn’t help. His best bet was to return to his hotel room and try to get some sleep. He stood up with a curse on his lips; he turned around and gasped when he found her standing there. He rubbed his eyes to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Hello, Tobias...” Casey whispered. “I’m glad I found you here.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @choicesjuly2023challenge - Sleepless Night

More Tags in Reblog.

[medeafive]

For @wntrsnat - prompt: "How long have you been sleeping with him?" Turned it into a Cop AU.

Chapter 2 on AO3

He should have come earlier. But he didn't want to ask and she didn't ask herself and there was Barney and everything at work and all he's been doing is texting her every few weeks How are you and she always texted back okay. Nothing more. Coulson had to press on him pretty hard before he realized he really should go visit his former colleague, his former partner. After two years.

"How is your new one?" Natasha asks, arms crossed, feet on the table, coffee mug clutched to her chest. She took well to New York. Well, she also took well to Chicago, before everything went to hell.

"Wanda?" Clint shrugs, playing with a pen. "Dunno. She's, like, 20 at best. Talks about her true crime podcasts all day."

Natasha's lips curl into a smile. "Sounds fun."

He snorts. "She did a tarot reading for me last week."

Natasha tilts her head. "What did it say?"

"Just the usual bullshit," he lies. He's not going to tell her he came here because of some stupid cards. "Can mean everything and its opposite, too."

"Mhm." Natasha puts her mug down and pulls her feet off the table, still wincing slightly. "Hold on, I have to read that."

It almost felt like the old days until she winced. Now it's all flooding back in, the pain, the fear, the guilt. She's frowning at some mail or the other, scrolling through quickly, efficient as always. She looks older. "I should have looked after you better," Clint says.

Natasha rubs the scar on her abdomen absent-mindedly. "Nothing you could have done, really."

It feels like there should have been something. He should have been able to prevent his partner from being abducted, from being shot, from bleeding out within an inch of her life. Should have been with her, should have found her sooner, should have - It's too late for all of that. "Fury misses you."

She grins, clicking on something. "Did he say that?"

"No. Of course not."

She nods absent-mindedly. "I miss you, too. All of you."

She could have come back. After the hospital, rehab, therapy - But she didn't want to, understandably. Too many memories. Instead, she chose New York. Not a quiet small town posting, New York. She was always a big city girl. "You can visit sometime."

She rubs her nose, as always when she's scared but doesn't want to show it. "Yeah. Might just do that."

He sighs. "I think she has potential. Wanda. She sees things other people don't see."

"Let me guess," Natasha remarks. "She's also terrible at filling out forms?"

"Horrible."

She smiles, satisfied with her guess. "Sounds like you fit together perfectly."

Not like with Natasha. It was never the same, the work, the late evenings, the horrible lunch choices, coming in in the morning and seeing this other girl at her desk - He swallows. "I finally got a place for Barney. Assisted living."

She looks up. "Really? That's great."

"Yeah, it's in Ohio, but whatever, I guess." He rubs his old wrist injury. "Moved him last week. He seemed happier without me, too."

"I'm sure that's not true, Clint," she chides.

He breathes out. They were never on good terms, him and his brother, and then that idiot had to wrap his car around a tree, couldn't even die in the crash, too, the only living relative - "It's for the best, in any case."

"Yeah," she agrees. "Happy for you."

He breathes in. "You know, I -"

The door opens without warning and in walks the guy at whose desk Clint's sitting, Barnes, Natasha's new partner. Dark hair, piercing blue eyes. Broody type. "I sent you the witness statements from the 26th. Don't think there's anything helpful in there."

"Thanks, I saw it," she replies. "I didn't notice anything either but we can go over it later in more detail."

Barnes nods, fishing some menu from his desk. "Sounds good. I'll go get Chinese, you want anything?"

"The usual," she replies, folding her forearms on the desk. "Sesame noodles with chicken for Clint."

"I'll see whether they have that," Barnes says, already pulling the door shut behind him. "Okay. See you."

He doesn't know when the uneasy feeling in his stomach started but it gets so much worse when he sees how she looks after Barnes. "He seems alright."

"Yeah," Natasha agrees absentmindedly. "He is."

Better rip the bandaid off. "How long have you been sleeping with him?"

She sighs. "Clint -"

"It's fine," he replies. "You can just tell me."

She bites her lip stubbornly, some older trauma coming through. "I'm not."

"Tasha. Come on."

She sighs again, pushing some file to the side. "Three months."

Three months. If he had just gotten over himself five, four months ago - Too late for that. "Well, I'm happy for you."

"Not telling anyone," she mutters, plucking invisible lint off her desk. "Or they won't let him take the Sergeant's exam."

Of course he's taking the Sergeant's exam. "Don't worry, I don't even work here."

She smiles weakly. "Sorry."

This wouldn't have happened if she hadn't gotten shot. Who knows what they would have become if she had stayed in Chicago, where people assumed they were either siblings or married for a decade, where everything was perfect until everything went wrong - Too late. "Nothing to be sorry for."

She swallows. "You wanted to say something, right?"

He's not going to tell her now, not about the request to be transferred that he has at home all filled out, just waiting for an envelope and a stamp, New York - Too late. "Oh, don't remember. Can't have been important."

Her eyes narrow, exactly like the old Tasha, the one who always saw through his crap. "If you're sure about that."

"You should visit sometime," he says instead. "Coulson asked. If you're ready for that, of course."

"Mhm." She shakes her head. "You know what, I think I might be. You still do the Thanksgiving party?"

He snorts, ignoring the cold hand squeezing his heart. "Of course we still do the Thanksgiving party."

Chapter 2 on AO3

[scalamore]

[Novel details] S1 Rupert thought Lari was a fake, two-faced liar, no redeemable features

hahhaha While re-reading the earlier chapters, I always laugh at how much Rupert has developed. 13-15-year-old Rupert really looked down on, and considered Lari an idiot. it was THAT obvious she was a two-faced liar that wanted something from him. It was especially obvious how much she hated him. That bias of hers against him was unreal, considering he didn't do anything to her ever. (Vol 5) She was so annoying, like a fly that kept on buzzing around him but always came back. The first few times of using the obsidian, he wanted to stop observing her because she wouldn't stop talking to him, even when he never replied. She would always say stupid stuff like "isn't this nice? look at this! hey what do you think of this? i think it's great e" which really got on his nerves because he was trying to use her to spy on others and get information, but she kept on getting distracted with seemingly random things. He liked peace and quiet, and she was definitely not quiet, always trying to get to know him. (Novel equivalent of chapter 44-45) He thought her fake smile was absolutely annoying and infuriating, but her natural smile was nice. (Ch 51) He didn't miss when she pretended to be dumb in front of him, but she could feel when looking away, how anxious she was to be in front of him - she was clearly hiding her fear of him. (Vol 5) He thought she ate like a pig, 3 meals a day, while he didn't have much of an appetite ever. (Ch 27?) He hated how much she talked about her family, and all the good memories she had with them, considering his family situation was so terrible (she didn't know, and he didn't bother sharing anything either). (Ch 45) He knew her family was lying to her this whole time, but wow she was so dumb and didn't realize she was being lied to. (Ch 45/vol 5) He just needs to take one look at her, then he naturally starts thinking of how stupid she is automatically like a reflex. (Ch 55)

He knows she's a fake, and a liar that lies all the time (mentioned quite a few times in the series that he knows she's lying) He really just thought of her as a completely normal, dumb girl. Absolutely no threat to him. No special talents. For some reason has a secret that she refuses to tell him even when threatened, and lies to cover it up. She's cute though lol.

aaaand he somehow completely reverses all this thinking and really grows to love lari during the series.

Love it ;w; <3

[quiet-girl-short-stories]

A Quiet Girl's Beginnings

Only Cassie could think death would be better than having to deal with another human being for thirty minutes. Well, maybe it would be better just to die rather than humiliate herself and have to deal with that for the rest of her life, as it would haunt her at three in the morning.

Though, she figured she really would die if she didn't take this chance. As years went on, having good employment only crept up on her.

Currently, Cassie sat in the middle of a lobby area with a group of others who were also minding their own business. By now, Cassie knew pretty much everything in the room; from how long she had been here to how many times that one guy in the corner reached to adjust himself, but she knew all that meant was that she'd be called into her interview soon.

She wondered if her breath stunk, she thought about this outfit her mom helped her with, she guessed it looked good, but was it too much? Was that one of the points they were looking out for? Cassie agonized internally while reaching for her water to take a calm drink. She shut the lid and told herself once more

I want to die

A few minutes had passed and a woman came out calling Cassie's name.

"Ms. Ann?" Cassie instantly got up and she tried to calm herself. The woman smiled and began to guide her to the room where she was going to be interviewed at.

Shit couldn't get any worse than this, Cassie thought. It was likely going to be some old creepy dude who thought he could get in with her and that would be her only way to get what she wants from him. While she didn't want to think all business people were like that, it was hard not to.

The pair walked to the end of the long hallway. It grew quiet and eventually they reached the interview room. The woman got to the door and opened it for Cassie to go inside. Once she did, the door close and Cassie instantly felt the cold of the room, she hoped her shiver hadn't been too visible as the man inside had looked up right as she entered.

Though, she wanted to change her earlier statement; it was likely going to be some young creepy dude who thought he could get in with her and that would be her only way to get what she wants from him.

This man was beautiful and while she still wouldn't be alright with the idea of him taking advantage of her, boy was this a step up.

He gave her a smile and got up to greet her. "Good morning Ms. Ann."

She took his hand and felt like it'd be weird if she squeezed it. "Good morning to you as well."

He smiled and walked back to the desk. "Please, sit." At that, she took the seat across from him, once he sat down, he was quick to start the interview. "Now, I normally don't ask questions in the beginning, but I want to know why you think you're going to benefit me and my company. How do you feel you'll be an asset to us?"

With a small breath, Cassie began to talk as fluently as she could. She went through all her points; how good she thought her writing was, where she was willing to go with her writing and other things she lied about, but he didn't know any better and by the time it was over she still wanted to die.

While she spoke, she paid attention to his features--as gorgeous as they were-- and realized he had made no facial expression after she began to talk, which only made it that much harder for her to know was she doing alright or not. Once she finished, however, she saw a smile come to his face.

Welp, he's glad I'm done.

"I'll have to take your word on most of this, but since you did include a small portfolio of your writing, I was going over them last night." Oh fuck, that's not good! "I do believe you bring something new to our company and I can only see it helping us." Just smile and nod. "However," Fucking of course, "I don't know if we can outright put you with us. Taking a chance on someone like you would cause a big problem if you fall through. I doubt that you would, but this is a business after all."

"I understand." That essentially you painted the word liability all over me.

"So I decided, after the few others I've considered for this position, I'm instead going to make a group of those like you, you'll all learn from each other, help each other and then eventually be put to work full time."

"Really?"

"Really." He repeated.

"So... this means I technically got the job?"

"Yes, that is the correct wording. You'll be paid half your salary and once you prove to me that I can hire you full time, you'll see the rest of that paycheck."

Cassie couldn't contain her smile, but she kept it under wraps and just stood up once he did. "I-I can't thank you enough for this!"

He chuckled. "It's no problem... Cassie." First name basis already? "Of course, since you aren't an employee yet, just know I can and will cut ties with you if something bad were to happen. Though, with someone like you I wouldn't want to see you go so soon."

Cassie felt weird about that, but maintained her smile. Are you saying that in a professional way or a 'I've been staring at your skirt this whole time' way? Because your glasses don't hide a thing.

"Of course, I'll work hard and you can depend on me Mr. Wry!"

"Oh and it's alright to call me Ankara, no need to refer to me as Mr. or anything."

Now that's even weirder... "Alright Ankara, whatever work you have for me, I'll be willing and waiting!"

With the grin on her face, he returned it; and as so, this began the start of this quiet girl's adulthood...

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

September 21st, 2024 - Spring

Warning: Absurdly long entry.

+ ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . +

Here's a little recap of yesterday and today.

Friday morning. I went to school because they were making a little celebration for the beginning of spring and Students Day. I really wanted a sandwich and chocolate cake. Turns out everything had been sold before. Fuck.

At least I had a great conversation E. She's really cool. I don't know if I can call her a friend, but I like talking to her.

For the Friday night I have to give some context. Here in my town, the graduating students build a huge wooden snowman in August and burn it the night before spring.

Also, the classes before them (mine) run around them while they burn the poor snowman, which was... decent. A little small.

Does it sound quite satanic? Because it is... kinda.

And then after all that happens, everyone stays there to party.

Surprisingly, I had fun. A lot of fun. Y disappeared, so I stayed with E all the time. She somehow made me be a bit more open and hang out with her friends. Thanks, girl, you saved me.

Actually, I don't know how many of those people were real friends. At some point I walked with her and two other girls, and it turns out that she didn't even know them. I separated from E for a little while and sat down with a 13-year-old who had to leave after a while. So I stayed alone for a little bit. It was weird.

I also walked with this other two people and E to a shop at the city centre, and I helped them by hiding a bottle of alcohol in my backpack lol

That thing was... okay. I could feel it burning my chest, but it wasn't as gross as I thought it would be.

I didn't dance a lot tho. I really didn't know what to do. It was kinda awkward. But I did move a bit.

For some reason it ended earlier than we expected. E and I sat down outside a little bit and she and her mother walked with me on my way home.

I changed to my rags, brushed my teeth and washed the dishes, even though I was fucking dead. I was walking around as if I was lame because my feet hurt like hell.

On Saturday morning I woke up and realized that I contradicted myself and lied. I wasn't with E all the time lol

I had a little headache tho. Hangover, I guess. I have no idea.

I hung out with E and some new buddies. The party continues during the day. But before that we bought the limited edition Oreo-flavoured Coca Cola. It's incredible, we loved it. We wanted Coca-Cola-flavoured Oreos but we couldn't find them.

And this time I drank more than yesterday. At some point I accepted sangria from some guy from another school. I didn't even know him. But it was quite tasty.

I don't even know why I did it. A few weeks ago I would've declined everything, but today I wanted to be like them. And I liked it.

The whole thing ended at 6 PM, and I walked with E to a café and bought milkshakes. We yapped and yapped and laughed and it was amazing.

Y told her about my whole... situation with him. It was so embarrassing. But she said she could arrange something to go out together so I can talk to him. It would be nice, I don't know. Right now I don't care about what I'm doing, as long as it doesn't kill me.

I came home at 8 PM and stayed in bed for a while. I got up to charge my phone and animatedly danced to Soda Stereo. I stopped because I had to write this, and because I started to question my actions and start to believe I'm drunk.

I don't know how that feels, so I'm not sure. But I feel this little warmth on my face and my head feels light sometimes. Well, as long as my mother doesn't notice it.

And that's all! That's why I didn't post anything last night.

I feel a bit older now. I finally did what I was supposed to, and I enjoyed it (strangely). I'm really happy. I had a great day and I even made a new friend. Those other guys were cool, too. I don't know if I'll ever see them again - I hope so.

Tomorrow it's going to rain. A lot. So I'll just stay at home and relax for a bit. I need to recover from this (even though it wasn't really a big deal?).

I think I'll cook some pasta. Just to have dinner now and go to sleep as soon as possible.

Also, I think I smell smoke. I swear I didn't smoke anything, I was surrounded by people with cigarettes.

Last night I didn't know how many of them were tobacco. At least one of them wasn't, I'm sure about that.

I should have a shower. Is it too late for that?

Anyway, I gotta go now.

Rest well - I definitely will.

And happy spring.

+ ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . + ° . ๑・° ⊹ . +

[everyone-luvvs-freya]

Can you do #3 and #6?

" you're everything i could ever want" and " i love you more than words can describe"

Isla looked at Riley from the sidelines as he talked to some blonde headed bitch. Isla and Riley have been friends for a few years now. Isla had caught feelings for Riley just a few months ago.

Either Riley ignored her hints or he was just plain dumb. Nethertheless , Isla knew that Riley would never be hers. Riley was your typical Playboy, He would fuck any girl the walked. Well any girl other than Isla.

Isla had gotten a good idea about Riley's type, Short, blonde or light colored hair, and she needed to be one of the bimbo girls. She was nothing of his type. She had dark brown hair and was taller than most females, standing around 175.26 cm to 177.80 cm (5 '9 to 5' 10), she also was intelligent and was at the top of her grade. 

She often compared herself to other girls that Riley would bring to their shared college dorm. 

Isla hardly remembered the name of the girl that her best friend was obviously flirting with, something along the line of Alice or Alexis. She stood there heartbroken as the girl was laughing at whatever joke Riley had said.

Tears welled up at her waterline as she tried her damn best to keep them at bay. All she wanted to do was walk with her best friend to their next class but she stopped when Riley had bent down to kiss the girl.

The blonde had said goodbye and Riley walked straight to Isla, “ oh, hey i didn't know that you were waiting for me” Isla just shrugged and kept her composter all though she was two seconds from breaking down crying in the middle of the hallway. 

“ I was going to walk with you to our next class but you were too busy with bimbo bitch over there so I waited until you were done” Isla didn't mean for her words to have such venom but what she saw left a sour taste in her mouth. 

Of course Riley took her words with little offense and thought it was a joke so he playful wrapped his arm around her shoulders and laughed a little. Isla rolled her eyes and shrugged his hand off her shoulders, and Riley stood up straight and looked at the shorter ( by like 3 inches) girl with concern.

“ Are you okay? You normally don't throw my arm off of your shoulders like that” Isla shook her head and sighed, maybe she wanted to tell him about her feelings but she didn't wanna ruin the friendship that she built with him over the past few years.  

“ im fine” Riley knew that something was up, His best friend has never said ‘ im fine’ and meant it whole heartily so he thought about talking to her about it when they got into their dorms. For now he’ll leave it alone. 

Some time has passed and now Isla and Riley are walking to their dorms, “Isla wants wrong?” the brunette looked at Riley with confusion and until she put two and two together and realized they Riley was talking about earlier. “ Nothing” Riley glared at Isla and didn't believe her. “ for some reason i can feel you lying to me” 

Isla put her head down and started to walk silently beside him. Riley knew that something was on her mind. Isla gets all quiet and lies about being okay when something is bothering her or on her mind. 

They arrive at the dorms, “ Isla, just tell me what's wrong and I'll leave you alone” The concern was evident in his voice. It showed that he deeply cared for her. “ I love you and want to make sure that you’re okay” Isla stopped with what she was doing, tears formed in her eyes again, “don’t say that.” her small voice cracks and her voice, just above a whisper to the point that Riley barely heard her.

“Don't say what? That I love you? Of course I love you, you stuck by my side since day one. We are friends; best friends” Isla let the tears fall from her eyes down her cheeks before they landed on the floor.

“ That's the thing, I don't wanna just be friends. I wanna be something more, I want to be the girl that you flirt with and that laughs at your dumb jokes. I love you more than words can describe” 

Isla turned around to look at Riley, who had a shocked look at his face. He of course knew about that flirting she would do with him but he thought it was a mere joke, Not because she actually had feelings for him. He looked at her Teary green eyes and felt so much guilt for not knowing.

Before he would even say anything else, Isla spoke up “you’re everything I could ever want” and with nothing else being said, Isla had Started sobbing. She didn't mean to say anything about her crush on him but i guess she bottled it up for so long that it got the best of her. 

Riley didn't know what to do, he didn't know if he would comfort her or tell her that he didn't feel the same so he stood there in silence as he watched his best friend weep over him. 

Isla had enough of the drowning feeling, so she started getting her stuff and ran out the door and pushed Riley. The push was enough so snapped him out of his train of thought. 

 He turned around to go after Her but when he stuck out his arm to reach her, it had missed her shoulder by a few inches as she ran away crying.

[manslaught]

mikayla wishes she could have been there to see that— or at the very least, hear about it, even if it was still within prison walls. she would have been proud of her then, the same way she is now, but there's some sadness that comes with it, knowing that she didn't get to be a part of it. “ of course you did. ” it comes out more affectionate than she means for it to, momentarily coming off just as endeared with her as she'd been years ago. she realizes she slipped up seconds later, so she changes the subject. “ the girls i had to deal with sucked, obviously. i don't even know how many fights i got in. which is why they didn't let me out early. ” it felt impossible to be on good behavior when she was constantly provoked, having never been good at controlling her anger in the first place.

she doesn't know how to respond to that kind of insecurity from taissa anymore, because all she can think is how it's not her place to try to make her feel better. she has a wife now, and she should be doing that, not mikayla. “ i already told you, i'm not going to do that. ” she hopes tai wins, not just because she doesn't know how to not root for her, even now, but because taissa destroyed everything they had to get here, didn't she? so it has to be worth it. “ i'm on your side. even if i'm in another state. ” even if she's with someone else. and calypso would understand that anyway, right? she'd be okay with mikayla rooting for one of the other survivors to win? she wants to think so, but either way, she's glad that calypso has plans the next night, so she shouldn't be around when the results come in.

the question nearly makes her shut down, makes her debate leaving entirely, but she can't yet, not when she's nat's ride— and not when she's not ready to leave tai yet, even if she's asking a question mikayla doesn't want to answer. it's not because she doesn't know: it's because she does, because she's known all along that her life didn't turn out the way she wanted. it's nothing the way she imagined when she was younger; never imagined the reputation she'd have, the job, the wife— but she's the most upset about the latter, because her father gave her no choice with everything else, because she had to kill him to get away. but standing next to taissa now, it's hard for her to wrap her head around why she couldn't be with her instead. “ no, ” she admits, despite knowing she shouldn't, her voice quiet. “ but it doesn't matter. ” it's the life she has, so whatever she wanted before shouldn't matter, and it does nothing for either of them to dwell on that.

of course, she's relieved that taissa's wife didn't make it. as strong as she pretends to be, mikayla's not sure if she could have stomached that. it's bad enough to know that she exists, that tai loves another woman the way she used to love mikayla. just the pictures she's seen all over town are torture enough, because all she could think is that it makes sense that tai never came back to her. she needed some perfect wife, and some ex-convict could never fit that role. “ i thought it was because you didn't want her to meet me. ” she can feel that tai isn't telling the whole truth, and she's not sure if the real reason is that. “ which is fine, because i don't want to meet her, either. ” she's not mature enough for that, but at least mikayla's able to recognize it; if she would have shown up, mikayla likely would have just left entirely, which would have been better for all of them, really.

she's irritated when her own wife is brought up, because it forces her to think about the unanswered texts, the missed calls. mikayla's been avoiding talking to calypso all night, so she's reminded now that she's going to have to deal with that eventually. “ she's working, ” she lies, the same one she'd told allie earlier in the night. the truth is calypso is waiting around for her, having taken the night off to spend time with mikayla, only to be stood up for this. it's not entirely mikayla's fault, because she hadn't planned to have to bury a body and attend a reunion with people she never planned to see again, but she could have invited calypso— she just didn't want to. “ for the best, honestly. i can't imagine that going well, especially with misty here. ”

she’s endeared just as she’s always been with her confidence,  and she takes the bait,   allowing her eyes to look her over for a brief moment as she nods her head.    ❝  it’s not surprising,  ❞    she compliments,   an indirect way of telling her that she’s still distractingly gorgeous,   words she’s sure she’s spoken before,  many years ago.    

her lips part as mikayla questions her,   and she thinks back to so many years ago when she had a new kind of fight to face every day on that team.   a small, almost wicked smile starts to grow over her features,   and she proudly tips her head up.    ❝  i did one better.   i stole her spot,  ❞    she says simply,    and it had been a big deal then  —-   a freshman swooping in after all her body endured for a year and a half,   stealing a senior’s spot before the season even started;   it was exactly the boost of confidence she needed to remind herself she was still capable of this.   and more than that,   it felt good to earn something,   rather than revert back to her tactics from high school —  even if she never truly got away from that mindset,  either.  

taissa lets out a scoff,   but it’s not because she doesn’t appreciate her words;   she does,   and she’s still surprised that she’s encouraging her at all,   but she's trying not to get her hopes up when it already feels doomed.   ❝  i hope you’re right about that.  all the shit i’ve gone through to try to get here,    i don't want to see it fall apart now.  ❞     she doesn’t express that kind of insecurity or fear to her own wife;    she could always feel it,   simone trying to get her to admit she didn’t feel as confident as she started.   it only fueled tai more,  even when simone had been right.   but now, standing here, talking to mikayla —-  it just comes out,   like muscle memory how easy it is to just talk to her.    ❝  but if it doesn’t—   i wouldn’t blame you for cheering for my downfall anyway,  ❞     she admits,    raising her brow as she looks back to her.    

it’s not what she wanted to hear.   but tai isn’t sure what she really wanted,  anyway,  because if mikayla admitted to wanting to do something to stop the wedding,   there’s still nothing they could have done about it now.   she hums anyway,   fixated on the photo again,   but her mind is elsewhere,  imagining mikayla showing up suddenly and telling her that tai was wrong,  and maybe tai would have been strong enough to stand her ground,  pretend she couldn’t possibly make a mistake — or maybe she would have been braver,   saved herself from a marriage that was all about settling into something stable and gone for what she wanted instead.   maybe there’s a world where she and mikayla could have worked —- but tai doesn’t think that she deserves that thought,  anyway.   her head turns after a long moment,   feeling comfortable enough to question her.    ❝  do you?  ❞  she asks quietly,   her lips pursing together as she stares back at her.   she's not accusing her,   she’s just curious.    it’s what tai wanted for her — for her own life to be everything she wanted,   but she’s not sure either of them can say that it was when they weren’t together.    

 she’s caught off guard when she asks about her wife,   mostly because it hadn’t been on her mind.   simone left weeks ago,  at tai’s request in an effort to protect her and her son,  but it wasn’t as simple as she thought it could be,   and ever since they walked out,   she hasn’t been sure her life will ever get back to where it’s supposed to be — something she can’t dwell on now.   of course,   she can’t tell mikayla that,    and she’s been sidestepping the question all night,  anyway.    ❝  oh,  ❞    she says quietly,  taking a deep breath.    ❝  —- you know,  this wasn’t in the plans.  i’ve never come to a reunion—-  don't really she the point,  considering,  ❞   she says,  gesturing vaguely as she thinks of all the frustrating questions they’d been asked tonight.    ❝  it was so last minute,  someone had to watch the kid—-   and i just thought it would be best,  after all that happened today.  ❞    her voice is steady,   but it's likely mikayla still knows her well enough to assume there’s a lie in there,   because that’s not the truth at all.   and she’s not just talking about burying a body,  either —-   even if things were good with her wife,   she can’t imagine being in the same room as her and mikayla,   the thought alone threatening to make her head explode.  

her head nods slowly,  ready to drop it,   until she realizes the same question can be asked to her,   her hand waving back to mikayla.    ❝  and,  your wife?  wasn’t time to introduce her to old friends? ❞   the dread at her own words is likely written across her face — she doesn’t want to be in the same room as her,  either,  and she definitely isn’t interested in seeing mikayla with her.

[rinrinx2]

hello! i love ur work ! 💗

is it okay if i request a bimbo reader x ran where ran and the reader are friends. The reader is a virgin but doesn’t want anyone but Ran to take it ! Idk if this makes sense but ur work is really lovely ! so feel free to play around with this idea <3

Okay I absolutely love writing bimbo reader, I don't know why but it's always so fun. I hope you like it 💕💕💕.

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"When do you lose your virginity?"

Ran x Bimbo!Reader

Warnings: Inappropriate language, Mature themes, virginity loss, smut, orgasm, fingering, dom/sub

When Ran had befriended you in high school, he was taken aback by how such a beautiful girl had absolutely nothing in her head paired with the fact that she wore the shortest skirt his ever seen and bending over in such a manner that had you exposing your panties to everyone, he came to one single conclusion you were a Bimbo.

There was no way you weren't a nymphomaniac, so how now after so many years of him thinking he knew you had the question you just asked been the biggest plot twist of his life.

"Did you hear me Rannie. When are you supposed to lose your virginity?" You said waving your hands infront of his baffled face as your boobs bounced about in his face.

Ran took a moment to let the question fully sink down into his brain.

'Maybe she's just asking this dumb question to find out when I lost my virginty' Ran thought, as the idea of you being a virgin was slim.

"I lost mine at 18" he said as he now kept a neutral look on his face.

"Wow Rannie, that's so cool. I haven't lost mine yet I didn't know we were suppose to lose it then" you said with a smile on your face as if you hadn't just told him the biggest news to his ears.

"You're a virgin?" Ran said confused, still not fully comprehending that you a woman who showed him your skimpy thongs because they were cute was a virgin.

"Yeah, can't you tell?" you asked turning your face back to Rans with a pout on your cute face.

"I mean it's just you're so cute I would think any guy would be lucky enough to have you in his bed" Ran said turning his charm on to avoid hurting your feelings.

"Well I always wanted to lose it to you, but everytime I tried to bring it up you either had a girlfriend or you went to juvie" you said with a giggle.

"But I also didn't know at what age you were suppose to lose it, so guess it doesn't matter right?" You said turning your attention back to the t.v as you tried to focus on some barbie movie Ran put on for you.

So clueless that you didn't even realize the predator like look in Ran's eyes. He didn't know that you kept yourself for him and if he knew back then what he did now he would of easily ditched whatever girlfriend to be buried in your unused pussy.

Ran carefully moved closer to where you sat on the couch, till his thigh was grazing at yours. Carefully placing his big hand on your upper thigh as you remained oblivious to his actions.

"You know the perfect age to lose your virginity is your current age now" Ran whispered into your ear as his hand massaged up your thigh.

"Really?!" You said head snapping towards his, as your eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"Yes really. Boys lose their virginity earlier so their cocks can get bigger but it's best a girl waits a bit so her pussy can get nice and puffy on the inside" Ran said gently coaxing you into his lies that you were readily eating up.

"That makes so much sense Rannie, you're so smart" you said unaware at the hand that was now just hovering over your covered cunt underneath your dress.

"So, come on let's take your virginity" Ran whispered towards you as he brought his lips closer to yours until he closed the gap between the two of you.

Ran kissed you softly at first trying to make it feel magical until his hand began to knead at your covered cunt, then Ran began to kiss you more feverishly. His tongue sliding into your mouth as his tongue lapped at yours. His fingers coming to your clit rubbing tight circles through your lacy pink panties as you moaned into his mouth.

"Rannie ~ feels so good" you said against his mouth.

"It's about to feel alot better soon" Ran said as he moved his hand down to shift your panties to the side, his fingers feeling the slick that dripped out from your cunt.

And in one swift movement he plunged his digits into your cunt.

"Oh Rannie" you moaned out as your pussy felt filled out by two of Ran's fingers.

"Come on, if you can't take my fingers how you going to take my cock angel?" Ran asked as he pushed his fingers back and forth fucking your cunt, causing wet lewd sounds to echo about the lounge.

Rans skilled fingers spread your pussy from the inside as he pushed his fingers as deep as he could causing moaning to escape your lips.

Your pussy was devouring Ran's fingers, pulling him as deep as it could as it milked them, as if you weren't a virgin.

Ran enjoyed the sight of your pussy dripping down on his hand, how your walls were beginning to pulse sate a sign you were close.

"Rannie something feels funny" you said as you gripped at his hands.

"It's okay princess, you're not going to cum now, you're gonna cum on my cock" Ran said as he removed his fingers, watching as your pussy juices dribbled out.

Ran quickly undid his pants taking out his cock causing your eyes to become massive.

Ran's cock was massive, the shaft was long and girthy with a prominent vein on the underside and a thick mushroom tip that had a pearl of pre-cum dripping out of the slit.

"Rannie how's it going to fit?" You asked with slight panic in your voice.

"Don't worry I'm make it fit" Ran said with a smirk as he aligned his throbbing cock at your entrance.

You could feel Ran prodding at your folds gently pushing against your pussy hole as it squeezed out in excitement.

Ran kept his eyes focused on your cunt, your unused cunt that was about to be filled with cock for the first time, by his cock.

Ran's eyes shifted to your face as he began to push into your pussy watching as your face began to contort in pain and pleasure.

Ran couldn't believe how tight you were, how your pussy was both grabbing at his cock and trying to push him out, the sensation causing his balls to fill with more semen.

"Rannie its -" you moaned out but were cut off as Ran stopped half way. His cock had slipped into your pussy only halfway but it felt as if he had already filled you to the brim, you pussy felt so full.

"Lemme just bottom out"

"Rannie I don't think I can-" you began to babble as tears started to sleep at the sensation of him pushing deeper.

"You can take it, you're a good girl. You're my good girl" Ran said as he bottomed out inside you.

His cock was so deep inside you that when you looked down you were able to see the bulge of his cock inside you.

Ran remained still adjusting to your unbearable tightness waiting for you to adjust to his cock so that he could start fucking you.

You lied on the couch with Ran's cock pentrating you so deep, feeling his hands remained on your waist while quiet tears dripped down your cheeks, but they were quick to dry when the pain was replaced with pleasure and soon you were moaning at the sensation of having Ran's cock inside you.

"My good girl wants me to fuck her" Ran said as your reaction was clear enough that you craved for the friction.

Ran began thrusting into your sobbing cunt, slowly and deep causing the air to be knocked out of you with each thrust.

Your pussy walls felt like they were being massaged in the best of ways, you wanted more.

"Rannie fuck me harder" you begged out pushing against his cock.

Ran gave you a predator look and in the next second he started pounding into your pussy.

Ran fucked you like a wild animal, hips barely pulling fully out as he fucked you now. He could feel the cum that was once in his balls being pushed through his shaft just aching to shoot out into your pussy and paint it a nice pearly white.

Ran continued his brutal pace as your pussy kept tightening with each thrust, until the pressure became unbearable.

"Rannie I think I'm gonna pee" you moaned out at your pressed your hand down on your womb feel Ran's cock slide in and out of you.

"It's okay baby, just let go" Ran said feeling how your walls were starting to milk him.

"Just let go baby" Ran moaned out trying to hold back as long as he could.

The pressure in your tummy was becoming to much to fast until it finally stopped. Strings of moans left your mouth as clear liquid squirted out of your pussy and all over the couch.

The sight of you squirting pushed Ran over the edge as hot semen was shot into your cunt as your pussy still milked Ran for more, causing him to throw his head back in pleasure.

You and Ran remained in that position until he carefully slipped his cock out, causing a soft popping noise to be heard.

You looked at Ran who was busy putting his cock back into his trousers as he got up and walked to the kitchen to fetch a clothe.

Ran began to wipe the slick and cum that still dripped out of your pussy, as you watched in amazement

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Rindou sat on the couch as Ran was in the kitchen pouring to glasses of whiskey.

"Why does your couch feel so wet?" Rindou asked as he pushed his hands against the damp spot.

"I had sex" Ran said matter-of-factly, as he walked over to where Rindou sat.

"What the fuck and you let me sit on it"

"Calm down it was with (Y/N)" Ran said handing a glass to Rindou.

"She finally let you fuck" Rindou said with a laugh as he took a swig at his drink.

"Nah she let me take a virginity"

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All rights reserved to @rinrinx2

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

episode 2-

Mobius: Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kind of ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I’m just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this. My own glorious purpose. Because the TVA is my life. And it’s real because I believe it’s real. Loki: So everything is written. Past, present, future. There’s no such thing as free will. Mobius: Well, I mean, you know, it’s an oversimplification. Loki: So in fact, in a way, you and I, here at the TVA, we’re the only ones who are actually free. Mobius: Where are you going with this, Loki? Loki: How does it all end? Mobius: That’s a work in progress.

episode 5-

Mobius: All that time, I really believed we were the good guys. Sylvie: Annihilating entire realities, orphaning little girls, classic hero stuff. Mobius: Well, I guess when you think the ends justify the means, there’s not much you won’t do. By the way, you did some annihilating too. Sylvie: I did what I had to do. Mobius: Yeah, so did I. Sylvie: You hunted me like a dog. Mobius: I’m sorry about that.

episode 6-

Mobius: I think people are ready to hear a little truth now. You know, like the TVA is a lie. Ravonna Renslayer: But what if it’s a necessary one? Someone created the Time Keepers. They created this whole place. They gave us all purpose. I have to believe they had a reason. Mobius: No, because I’ve seen the horror waiting for people when they get pruned, and there’s nothing necessary about that. Ravonna Renslayer: You know what would happen if we didn’t prune the Timeline? Mobius: What? Ravonna Renslayer: Chaos. Death. Mobius: Free will?

I wanted to line these three conversations up because it becomes clear just how much Mobius refuses to take any kind of moral responsibility. He honestly tries to play moral high ground against Ravonna when earlier that day he had Loki continuously beaten because he was angry he ran away. What was so necessary about that? He really is great at lying to himself.

You know, when you put it like that it almost feels like it could have worked with Mobius falling victim to the propaganda to realizing the truth and turning his back on the TVA... that's what Mikey wanted to do but it doesn't work if he doesn't take any responsibility for his actions.

It makes no sense to have a character who has spent years or decades (if not more) working for the TVA and believing their lies, finally finding out the truth and instead of having an existential crisis he blames everyone around him but himself. That's not a logical reaction at all!

He should hate himself, he should be devastated from all the pain and death he has caused, he should be apologizing profusely to Loki - hell, even to Sylvie - and aching to make amends. But he shows no signs of any of that, if anything he's delighted about that "free will" he despised just a few hours earlier.

Mikey imbued him with all that shallow morality when he speaks to Ravonna but his words fall flat precisely because he feels no responsibility for any of it. The time loop was Mobius' call, not hers - what, he doesn't feel bad about that? Isn't he supposed to be oh so morally responsible now?

She didn't do it on her own, in fact she ordered the missions but he is the one who carried them out. Renslayer's reaction is far more believable than Mobius'.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

rhinestone eyes

PAIRING: Rich Boy!Eren x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS [present+future]: infidelity, dubcon, gaslighting, manipulative and toxic behavior, toxic relationship, sexual content, yandere tendencies, suggestive hand-holding

part one

kofi

There's a sneer on Eren's face as green eyes behind Versace aviators glide over your form, staring you up and down. His gaze is so penetrative, it makes your teeth chatter. Maybe he was just checking you out. Maybe he was scrutinizing every blemish.

You suddenly feel so very small in your tennis skirt, the tight collared shirt stretching over your breasts, and wished that today out of all days wasn't when you decided to dress a little more stylish.

"Fancy seeing you here." His voice is nonchalant but there's a tone of humor that accompanies his brisk words. How long would it be until he laughs at you?

He scowls, "Are you mute or something? Why aren't you greeting me back properly?"

"Eren," You took a deep breath, "What are you doing in Paris?"

It occurs to you that you've never seen him out of his uniform before. He's wearing a light blue button-down, half the buttons left unfastened, polo shorts, an expensive black watch glittering on his wrist, silver rings on his slender fingers, and a thin silver chain dangling around his neck.

He's also acquired a new piercing, industrial, judging by the bar across his ear. The silver glints harshly under the sun.

"Are you done burning holes through me?"

You blush, embarrassment coloring your cheeks: "No, I'm just surprised." You tucked a loose lock of hair behind your ear, "Didn't expect to run into anyone I knew in another country."

You were just taking a pleasant walk in the acclaimed Champs-Élysées, the avenue every bit as a picture-perfect postcard as it had been described.

"Have you eaten?" The question is spoken with a sigh like he couldn't believe he was asking you this, and you couldn't either.

"Oh, um, no?" You responded, bewildered.

He runs a hand through his dark hair, which reached the nape of his neck by now: "I know a cafe around here. Let's get brunch. We'll talk there."

You don't know what possessed you to nod but you did so, trying to match his quick and long strides. The walk was silent, presumably because the two of you were saving your burning questions for the cafe.

He rolls his eyes when you stutter through your French. He raises a hand, and simply tells the waiter his order and dismisses him. His French is flawless and you're tempted to ask him how it's so good, but you already know the answer. Probably had hordes of tutors to help him.

Merci Monsieur

"Wait," You remark to Eren, "I didn't order."

"I ordered for us. Pain au chocolate, savory crepes, eggs, and ham. Coffee after. For me. Hot chocolate for you because you don't drink coffee."

Oh. That actually sounds good. How did he know your beverage preferences?

He fishes out a cigarette from his pocket, skinny and hand-rolled, "So what are you doing here? No offense but you don't exactly seem like you can afford a vacation to France. "

Now is your turn to sigh. You've nearly forgotten how blunt he could be: "Here on an internship. For art" You supply.

"I assume you just regularly come to Paris every summer?"

He doesn't deny or verify your statement, "Something like that."

"So you're staying at a hostel or?" He asks, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke that makes your nose wrinkle.

The waiter comes by with food, and you turn to Eren with a sour look, "I sincerely hope you're not going to smoke while we're eating."

To your utter surprise, he ashes the cigarette. You were expecting a witty and mean retort at the very minimum, not silent compliance.

You pick up the earlier conversation, "Well, I'm actually staying with my boyfriend." You mummer the last word quietly but the viridian-eyed boy's ears are keen. You don't notice how his grip on the knife tightens.

"You're staying with your boyfriend?" He repeats.

You nod, "Yeah, he's an art student too."

The rest of the meal is completed in sparing small-talk and lengths of silence. But it's not awkward. It's weird. On one hand, having brunch with Eren Yeager in fucking Paris, heir to a billionaire pharmaceutical company should feel surreal, but it's strangely peaceful. You feel more at peace sitting across from him in France than you did when he sat next to you in homeroom.

When it's time to pay the check, Eren looks amused by the very notion of you digging into your purse.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I let the lady pay?" His words are spoken with a teasing smile.

You roll your eyes but can't help a glimmer of a smile from peeking through on your lips, "Didn't take you much for a gentleman."

He tosses his black card on the bill, "You'd be surprised."

What's there left to do now? Is it time to part ways? There's a part of you that craves more but life has taught you to not be greedy when you already have so so much.

You dabble the corner of your lips with a napkin, "Well, this has been fun-"

"Wait, uh, do you wanna check out the Louvre? Since you're an art student and all, you might uh enjoy it."

You stare at him. Is he tongue-tied?

"You've probably there been a million times already."

"Yeah...but you haven't been, right?"

You blink before breaking into a smile that Eren is sure is going to give him heart palpations, so sunny and bright.

"I would love to!"

You guys check out Mona Lisa for the sheer novelty, and you're bouncing around the museum, oohing and ahhing at the chiseled statues and Renaissance paintings. There is so much history here, it blows your mind.

Eren finds himself watching you more than the paintings. You have this veneer of snark that you wrap around yourself like a protective gauze (maybe that's how you maintain your survival in a world of hyenas) but you're different now.

You're yourself. Watching you here come alive in unbridled enthusiasm, eyes widened in passion, makes him reach out to his pocket and fish for his disposable film camera. He doesn't know if he's ever seen anyone in his vapid life look like the way you do, so filled with a zest for things that are greater than themselves.

He wants to burn you into his memory, praying to all the gods that you won't notice when he takes a picture of you admiring a bust of a goddess. He slyly tucks his camera back into his pocket.

The world seems to stand still when you tug his hand to show him a painting, an expression of unadulterated wonder on your face. But when you realize you pulled his hand, you immediately drop it like hot coals.

Why do you look so worried? Why do you look so scared?

"You can hold my hand if you want. It's-it's okay." He can't believe he's gotten the words out.

You're taking too long, your hands still hanging limply by your side, an indiscernible expression on your pretty face. Eren doesn't understand why it makes him so mad, why your sudden hesitation grated his nerves. Deciding to make your choice for you, he grabs your hand, squeezing your palm as he flashes you the charismatic smile that's got him out of countless incidents.

He doesn't like the expression of worry marring your features. Where did the happy jovial girl go? Just a few seconds, you were poking him with sparkles in your eyes, "Look at this Eren!" and "So beautiful, right?"

He forces another smile: "Show me the painting you wanted me to see." Maybe it was meant to be a request but it comes out as a demand.

You cast a glance at your joined hands, his grip borderline painful. "O-okay."

You lead him across the floor, and Eren can feel the stares of people around him. They are smiling. An older woman utters a "Un si charmant couple."

You take him to a grand painting. It's haunting and dark, swirling with so many shades of dusty red from vermillion to scarlet. A pregnant woman lies reclined, arm hanging and head lolling. She appears to be asleep, and there is a cacophony of men around her portrayed in varying degrees of stress.

"Death of a virgin", you breathed.

Such a macabre name, Eren thought as he gazed longer into the painting. He loosens his grip on your hand, testing whether you would pull away.

You don't.

It's raining outside and you're giggling.

"Fuck" Eren swears, "I'll call a cab."

You're a vision drenched in rain. Your clothes are soaked, and he could see the outline of your bra from your thin shirt. But it seems like you don't even care.

"Let's just enjoy it!" You cry out. There are thick droplets stuck in between your eyelashes, and you smell like rain too. It's dangerous, he can see chords of purple lightning flash the sky, thunder booming, and it's like you're dancing, the way you move so effortlessly.

You hook his hands in yours, "Doesn't this feel good?"

He feels like all his sins are being washed away, all the impurities and muck that clung onto him after nineteen years of existence. His heart nearly jumps out of his throat every time he looks at you.

He cups your chin and kisses you. When he feels the threadbare resistance, he kisses harsher, tongue and teeth swallowing your protests, coaxing your mouth open with a skillful pinch to your nipple. He pulls away just before you feel like all your breath has been robbed.

You're stunned speechless, "Eren...I...h-have a boyf-"

He kisses you again. And this time you kiss back, holding nothing back.

taglist: @candy-hime @cinnamon-n-roses @forwardpair

inspo: @candy-hime's rich boy!shoto. the iconic golf club one <3