#if I got another msg saying “You know it's fake right?”

[hanitje]

Watching The Scene

Did anyone notice that when Christian gave Adam the chair slowly, he backed away and stood faaaar away from his former friend? He observed Adam with this laser eye focus but didn't warn Nick and Luchasaurus. He just stood away from the danger zone while Adam glanced at Christian from the corner of his eyes.

Nick had absolutely no clue who Adam was, while Lucha was told by Christian to stand between him and the new guy. Like, if these were other people from their past, they wouldn't stand so close to Adam.

Remember, Christian and Adam are practically two sides of the same coin. They both can read each other's minds.

Christian admitted that he was surprised to see Adam, but that doesn't mean that he would jump up and down to see him. He looked excited but at the same time, he knew he should be careful around the taller guy. No hugging this time.

When Adam predictably hit Nick and Lucha and aligned himself with Sting and Darby, Christian knew that he needed to protect his title. Especially when Adam was staring directly at him and his belt. There was this look of excitement but not necessarily happiness from Christian. He finally found a worthy opponent in the form of his former best friend, Adam.

Someone mentioned when Adam was in trouble during the 2021 Royal Rumble, Christian didn't hesitate to come. They even embraced each other and helped one another. But when Christian was in a position of power, and Adam arrived, he was very suspicious. Excited, but suspicious, hence the backed away thing. He knew that Adam wouldn't be on his side.

I got goosebumps when they were staring at each other. They were so excited to see each other but knew that they would destroy each other. Everyone else at that moment was just a white noise. It was at that moment, that there were only two of them, on top of the world, meeting for the first time after all these years...

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me {4}

Title: If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me {4}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Cursing, Violence, Heartbreak, Blood, TW: Cancer Talk, TW: Murder, TW: Cancer Death, TW: Mentions of Sexual Assult, TW: Mention of Attempted Sexual Assault (Not graphic nor successful), PLENTY OF WORDS, Plot Heavy

Words: 9.4k

Summary: They say the truth will set you free but these truths can kill. Will revenge be enough?

Note: We're almost there. 1 more part to go.

As always, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!

****NOT Edited/Proofread****

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1} | If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2} | If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It {3} |

-Lewis-

That was it then. He’d lost you. He could see it in your eyes. Those damn expressive angel eyes that always bored into him, always haunted him, always crippled him. He guessed they’d haunt him for the rest of his life now. He’d dream of them, envision them, and miss them. He didn’t know how he’d move on; he didn’t see a way to, but he also knew that when you’d made up your mind you made it up for good, and rarely if ever was it changeable.

His phone sounded with another notification. He expected it to be Aleeza, but it was the fellas group chat.

MSG Miles: I feel like we should be there when you tell old bitty to kick rocks.

MSG Andrew: Or to make sure she don’t tie your ass up and have her way with you. I totally see her being a Mrs. Robinson on 1000.

MSG Daniel: Things any better with Y/N? If you want I can put in the good word.

He sighed feeling more than thankful he had them. Throughout his life, they’d remained loyal and never fake. He was grateful they were there for mostly all the highs and even more of the lows. This low though really felt all-consuming.

MSG: Nah, I can handle the old bitty. I’ll show y’all the security footage later if she gets outta pocket.

MSG Miles: For entertainment purposes I kinda want her to get outta pocket and get shamed. Can’t wait for this cold dish of revenge Y/N is planning on serving.

MSG Daniel: She was def wild for all that shit she’s done. You don’t ever try to take anyone’s life for stupid reasons like dick.

MSG Andrew: Guess you can officially say you got these chicks wildin’ the fuck out over yo’ dick.

He knew it was a joke and any other time he probably would have laughed at it, only right now, it was too fresh—too raw. He was right though. Before he’d had situations with fans and groupies who’d done some wild shit to get his attention or even get close, but this took the cake. He wasn’t proud at all.

MSG: Shit’s wild.

MSG Daniel: How’s Y/N? frfr.

MSG: Not good. She’s not taking care of herself, avoiding the situation when it comes to us, and pushing me away. Shit’s not good. She looks at me and it feels like I’m looking at a stranger.

MSG Miles: That’s tough.

MSG Daniel: You gotta understand tho. Imagine finding all this shit out which changes things but still being on the receiving end of all that hurt. She must feel betrayed.

MSG Andrew: The whole virginity thing too is crazy. Give her time. It’s fresh right now. She probably hasn’t registered it all.

He knew Andrew was right, he could even see Daniel’s reasons too, but it didn’t make it any easier for him. The worst part for him was that he was trying to protect you the best way he thought of at that time, he was trying to protect you from any more danger after your accident and instead, he’d ended up shielding you from nothing. He’d caused the damage, but he couldn’t contain the fallout.

The self-loathing part of him wanted you to run away from him and never look back. He’d always worried that he’d only bring heartache to anyone he truly loved and here he was doing just that. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck trying to take away the pounding that had settled in since you walked into his bedroom in Monaco. He didn’t know how he was going to make it through the rest of the week.

MSG Daniel: Did she tell you the plan?

MSG: Nope.

He wanted to support you in this but rather than inserting himself he decided to let you take lead. If you wanted him to be involved you’d tell him. He knew better than to hold too tightly because it would have the opposite effect.

The sound of his doorbell rang throughout the house, and he knew who it was. He’d expected her. Even though he’d texted her his decision he knew she wouldn’t stand for it. He pulled up the security app on his phone and sighed seeing her standing there in a matching white pencil skirt suit. Her professionally dyed hair reflected the sun until it shined. She looked irritated and he decided then to irritate her some more.

A minute stretched and she waited. Before 2 minutes passed, she rang the bell again and again and again. She was really beyond getting on his nerves. He’d had enough. Tapping the microphone he began.

“What do you want Aleeza?”

Her head spun around before looking up right into the inconspicuous camera there. His security team thought it was the best spot to catch people unaware.

“Really Lewis!? Open the fucking door. You’re really pissing me off!”

He scoffed, “Why would I care? You gave me an ultimatum, actually, my blackmail options and I promptly gave you your response in the allotted time, swiftly go fuck yourself, lady. My dick isn’t for sale, lone or rental.”

Her jaw dropped. “Lewis! I suggest you think this through and think about your future and career. Think about everything you’re putting at risk.”

“Fuck! Shut up! No matter what you say or do my answer won’t change. It’s a no. I don’t want you in any way. You disgust me.”

She looked like she could blast off into the air any minute. He could actually see the steam coming out of her ears. Either she wasn’t used to being told no, or she’d really expected him to agree.

“You’re going to regret this come Friday. I swear it! Her blood is on your hands.”

He saw red! “Shut the fuck up! I swear to everything I value in this world, her being a primary one, if you touch her or hire someone else to touch even one skin follicle on her I will make you regret the day you ever put Jordan Y/L/N in your sights. I hold grudges and have a lot of money at my disposal and those two things spell trouble for people like you. Leave before I call my security to escort you off the property. Also don’t come back.”

She shoved her middle finger in the air while glaring at the camera then she stomped off. He watched her get into her car and slap and punch the steering wheel as she jerked back and forth. She must have been screaming and losing her shit. She’d played her ultimate hand—the four of a kind but he’d outplayed her with his royal flush.

As she rolled off his property he pulled up his messages with you.

MSG: From this moment be extra careful. She’s livid and feels she has nothing to lose. People like that are wild cards and wild cards are dangerous.

A few minutes passed before you replied.

MSG AngelEyes: Let the bitch come.

Your confidence and rage came through each word and though he was worried he also fell deeper in love with you because of them.

~~~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Rage is a quiet beast. It was one of the trickiest motherfuckers out there. There’d be times you think you’d tamed it and found a way to simmer it down only for a fragment of a word or a look made it flare. Rage was something familiar to you. You’d felt it when your mother passed, felt the crushing and suffocating feeling of it coiling within you, felt it trying to take over everything until it had. That rage changed your life.

This was the second time you’d dealt with it. You thought you had a better handle on it, but you’d come to realize that it was in your veins, in your blood, embedded in you. Shit, you were rage. when you least expected it the beast raged, and it took everything to rein it in. You had to because it wasn’t time to fully unleash it yet.

So Monday passed in a whirl. You worked, took meetings, did interviews, made plans for the team, and even the last-minute foundation event that you were in charge of planning. You were surprised no one saw the difference in you. It was your father who looked at you with an extra layer of worry. You had to assure him you were fine while making a note to make it up to him Friday night. By Friday night, he was going to see the scales of the chimera he’d married.

Tuesday came and mirrored Monday. You piled more and more on needing a constant distraction from the war in your head and the ache in your heart. This week was extra torturous because you were supposed to be at one of Lewis’ races to stand in for your father and you had no idea how you were going to make it through. Looking at him had become next to impossible, being anywhere near him was too much. You had no hope it would go smoothly.

When Wednesday came around and you landed in Barcelona, you told yourself to just get through the rest of the week. You were practically shutting down already. It took everything in you to get through the interviews. Took all of your composure and high media training to smile and laugh for the cameras. It took even more strength to take pictures with Lewis with his hand at the small of your back.

Your body still remembered him, still craved him, but your brain and heart were at war, leaving you in a chaotic state of panic. He must have noticed because he tried to put you on the end with George in between you as often as he could. Even that small action made your heart reach for him though your brain scoffed at it claiming it was the least he could do.

As you watched his race, you felt dead and suspected you looked it too. You noticed his distraction during the race, noticed he was driving very unlike himself but rather than not caring you found yourself getting upset about it.

“Maybe it’s time for Jordan to think about ending his contract if this is the quality of racing he’s giving us.”

Aleeza’s voice had the impact of nails running down a chalkboard. Instantly you reared around at her. She stood there in a mini skirt that was several decades too young for her and a blouse that was almost see-through. Trashy, you thought. You envisioned yourself Naruto running to her to then headbutting her then slamming her face into the cemented floor of the paddock and jumping on her back with your knee between her shoulder blades while placing her head in a headlock until she took her last breath.

It was then you realized you hadn’t tamed shit. It was in full control.

“Uh hello! What the hell is wrong with you, Y/N?”

Snapping back to reality, you saw she stared at you with confusion and amusement. Your head twitched with the effort it took to contain this beast you wanted to unleash in every way.

“See, I told Jordan that giving you too much responsibility wouldn’t be good for the brand or the family.”

She sighed and watched the screen.

“He definitely doesn’t look to be doing well today. Any idea why?”

“Oh, how would I know that now Aleeza? However—you don’t look to be doing well either. Your skin looks quite—dry.”

Aleeza gasped and clapped her hand on her cheek.

“Maybe you should make an appointment with my esthetician. She’d never let me go out looking like this.”

Aleeza glared at you then she took one step too close. It was a step you mirrored. “I can also give you the number to an age-appropriate stylist who won’t have you out here looking foul.”

You gave her the once over furthering her humiliation.

“When your father isn’t around the real you comes out.”

“Says the scaly slithering snake to the human.”

She looked as if she wanted to hit you and you prayed she did.

“I wish you would bitch. Make my fucking day.”

Aleeza must have seen you really didn’t give two fucks because she backed off a few seconds later.

“Enjoy this week, Y/N. Enjoy it well,” Aleeza said before she walked off.

The effort it took to flip back to the unbothered professional should have been huge, but it felt like lite work and that scared you a little.

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

Your mother’s words came back to you then and you clung to them more fiercely than you’d ever hung on to anything before. Her sage words held new meaning now. Was that how she’d taken the high road when it came to Aleeza back in the day? Was that how she’d remained so classy? You missed her even more now than ever.

By the time Friday came around and the fundraiser event arrived, you were back in London and more than ready to get the night over with. You looked yourself over once more then nodded at your reflection. This was as good as it was gonna get, you said to yourself. A message from your father told you of his arrival then you quickly made your way down to the waiting limo.

Once you got in, you smiled adoringly at your father.

“Wow, you look absolutely beautiful darling.”

“Thanks dad. You’re looking very debonair too.”

He smiled then straightened his tie and posed. You giggled and shook your head.

“The ladies won’t know what hit 'em.”

He chuckled but Aleeza’s hating ass cleared her throat exaggeratedly.

“Really?!”

You rolled your eyes. “Figure of speech. Really Aleeza, since you like to dress so young you’d think you’d keep your vocabulary just as young too.”

A small hiss escaped her. An actual hiss. The bitch was showing more and more of her true form with each passing day, you thought.

“Ladies,” your father warned.

You raised your hands up in defeat. “Kidding dad, you know I joke a lot.”

Aleeza glared at you from across the limo, clearly not interested in pretending anymore. Good, you thought. Tonight was going to be her big reveal.  Once the three of you stepped out of the limo in front of the flashing cameras you smiled, waved, and portrayed the perfect family. The majority of the photographers wanted pics of you and your father together sans Aleeza and that suit you fine. It was the perfect beginning of the night, starve the bitch of what she craved most—attention.

As the event went on, you smiled, took interviews, joked, and dazzled always remaining the center of the group discussion. Plenty of attendees complimented you on not only how beautiful you looked but how knowledgeable you were about a plethora of things not only F1 related. Those compliments were what brought you the most flattery. You’d always prized your brain over your beauty. Your mother taught you that beauty could fade and be taken away, but your intelligence was always yours.

More than halfway through the event your back was turned to the crowd as you guzzled another glass of champagne. They weren’t helping with anything really.

“Look who cleans up like an actual princess of F1.”

You turned to the teasing words and smiled at Miles. “Ha ha, funny.”

“You look great, Y/N,” Andrew said leaning in to kiss your cheek.

Miles and Daniel mirrored his actions and sentiments.

“Thank you.”

Lewis came into view, and he looked good—too good. The black tuxedo he wore looked made for him and probably was. From the look of it, you could tell it was probably a McQueen piece. He always could cut a good suit and Lewis loved how they fit him. You got lost scanning his attire for a few moments before you looked away and grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

“Hi,” he quietly said.

You nodded and looked around the room.

“Glad you guys could make it,” you said.

“Of course. We said we had your back and if she really plans on making her move tonight then nowhere else we’d rather be,” Daniel said.

Being the amazing hacker—no information investigator he was, Daniel had been able to tap into her phone and clone it. Whenever she got a message so did you and she’d gotten plenty of messages over the week. She was very busy making plans for your downfall. It was insane how she moved. It was like she was highly intelligent or had bouts of it but was basically a basic dumb bitch. Who made illegal plans through cellphones? Who tried to off someone more than once? Who used the same person the 2nd time as the 1st? It was confusing as shit. Was she smart or stupid?

“I think she will. She’s said plenty of shit that hints at me not making it past this week.”

Lewis turned to the bar giving the group his back as he hung his head. You glanced at them hoping they could fill in what that was. Daniel, Miles, and Andrew all solemnly shook their heads. You wondered if he was still beating himself up about not placing in the last race. The race he practically had the worst finish in his entire career. He was always the hardest on himself.

A thought hit you then. Was he putting everything on his shoulders and beating himself up?

“This is dangerous,” Lewis said before he sighed. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine,” you dismissed.

“You can’t use yourself as bait.”

“There are so many of my guys on her tonight, no one will get near her. I promise bro.”

You felt safe knowing Daniel had assigned an additional 8 guys to bodyguard you. They were guys he’d personally chosen so you knew he trusted them and their ability to get the job done. A message came through on your phone and you knew it wasn’t for you. It was a message to Aleeza from whoever “Dom” was.

MSG Dom: Everything is ready. You sure you want sharp.

MSG Aleeza: Definitely. I want it to be excruciating.

MSG Dom: Such a waste. She’s hot. Maybe a little fun before it’s done?

MSG Aleeza: I don’t give a shit what else you want to do. Just get it done by midnight.

MSG Dom: Consider it done.

Your stomach rolled as you showed them the message.

“Wow,” they said in unison.

‘Yep. Anyway, enjoy yourselves, fellas. Seeing as it is my actual death day, I intend to live it up.”

You walked away and joined a group of faces you knew while trying to put the very disturbing facts in the back of your mind. When you made your speech to the crowd no one could tell anything was wrong. You were the picture of calm, grace, and professionalism. Your father oozed pride while Aleeza oozed her usual disdainful slime. It was more fun to fuck with her now so you did taunting her with glares, smiles and waves as a loving stepdaughter would. She hated it but the photographers loved it and ate it up.

Once business was finished you mingled and even allowed some of the attendees to swirl you around the dance floor. How you got through it, you had no idea. The sheer will of the heavens was not enough, it took everything above and in between. Twenty or so minutes after your father left, you looked at your phone and saw it was nearing 11:30. Deciding it was time to leave you shot Daniel a message letting him know.

As soon as you stood, Lewis approached you. The sad puppy dog look in his eyes made your belly flip and heart beat out your chest to him.

“If I don’t ask you now I’ll regret it. Can I have this dance?”

He held his hand out to you and you hesitated. So many urges filled you. Walk away, run away, slap him, stomp on his foot, crash your lips to his, and even accept his hand. You stood there unsure what to say but when a camera flash caught you from the right you realized the only thing you could do was accept it.

You placed your hand in his and tried to ignore the instant static shock that coursed through you. Sticking your finger in a socket had nothing on this feeling. Lewis led you to the sparsely spotted dance floor then wrapped his arm around you holding you firmly bit gently. He led you in a demure dance that drew the eyes of the remaining attendees. They smiled and raised their glasses to you as if blessing the possibility of this union. If only they knew, you thought.

You danced in silence for a long while as you battled the feelings bubbling within you. You couldn’t afford to fall apart now. The finish line was within sight, and you needed to remain objective.

“Can I say something?”

“What? Y—you just did.”

“Something else then?”

You nodded.

“You—ehm, you look absolutely breathtaking tonight.”

Your eyes locked and just like that, you felt yourself being sucked in. They were simple words that should not have elicited this reaction but that had, nonetheless.

“I’m so proud of the amazing job you managed to do tonight. You never cease to amaze me, but I am always blown away by you.”

You felt the tear roll before you could stop it and that tear led to another. Lewis’ features softened and he pulled you closer wrapping his arms around you. “Angel eyes,” Lewis whispered against your ear.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, seeking refuge, and allowed yourself to cry. The way he held you tightly but so damn gently made you want to climb into his skin and allow him to comfort you until he’d erased every bad thing about the last few weeks. You wanted it so badly that it made you cry harder.

“I’m sorry,” he added voice rough with emotion.

His large, strong hands slipped lower from the middle of your back to the small apex at your tailbone. It was a small action, but it had a major impact. The erratic beat of your heart steadied and the tears that were flowing like a torrential downpour slowed to trickles. When he held you tighter against him so there was not even a microscopic speck of space between you, everything else faded.

A soft sigh fell from you as your body relaxed for the first time in days.

“I’m so sorry angel eyes. It kills me to see you like this, it kills me to know I’m the cause that had I made a different decision this may not have been such a colossal clusterfuck.”

You’d thought that same thing many times. In hindsight, it was easy to put the blame on him. If he had told you or your father from the very beginning maybe things would have been different. Or maybe Aleeza’s tight hold on your father would have made things convoluted and more complicated, maybe it would have made things worse. Maybe you would have lost your father’s trust. There were so many possibles, maybes, mights, and should haves but none of it was certain.

Your logical mind underneath all the rage, pain, and distrust knew this. It’s just when it all comes back, logic disappears and that was what happened. After blotting your tears on his fancy designer suit, you slowly took a few steps back from Lewis. His arms were reluctant to release you, but they did and when you were an arm’s length away, his hands fell to his sides.

Your eyes met and instantly you knew he had so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted you to hear but his lips remained sealed. A message on your phone brought your attention back to the task of the night. Revenge.

“I gotta go.”

With that, you slipped past him allowing your fingertips to graze his as you passed. Still, his touch sent jolts of electricity through you to rival the joules sent through a lightning strike. Forcing any thoughts that weren’t about the plan out of your head, you waved to others as you left then slipped outside. Though it appeared you were alone, you knew there were at least nine pairs of eyes on you and the panic button that was in your purse which tracked your location while recording every sound around you.

You slipped a pair of sunglasses on and then began swaying.

“Ms. Y/L/N? Are you waiting for your car?”

“M—My—car. It shoulda been ‘ere,” you heavily slurred.

“Let me find out for you. Lean against here so you don’t fall,” the attendant said.

“No, no, that won’t be necessary, Ms. Y/L/N, we are here. Right this way,” an unfamiliar voice said.

“Are you her driver?”

“Of course. Come, Ms. Y/L/N, your father has already made it home and wishes to see you.”

The man’s arm wrapped around your shoulder as he began leading you to a legit looking black car. You knew this guy wasn’t your driver and suspected it was that Dom person that Aleeza had been planning with. You allowed him to slip you into the back of the car and you immediately slumped sideways and started singing the first song that came to mind.

Why was it Britney Spears? Maybe because it was the easiest thing to sing off-key or because kidnappers and murderers wouldn’t think someone singing it would be dangerous. You had no idea but since you were running on pure instincts now, you did your best to drunkenly sing “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, you worked the panic button out of your purse and slipped it into your cleavage just in case they took your purse. The man who’d put you in the car got into the passenger side then looked back at you and laughed.

“She is hammered out of her mind. Aleeza really had her number. Are you still heartbroken sweet ‘art? Still missing someone or something between those thighs? Don’t worry I’ll fulfill all your desires in a little while. I’ll fix your loneliness.”

Your stomach churned and fear gripped your heart but again instinct kicked in and you belted the next line as loud and off-key as possible.

“My loneliness is killing me, and I!”

The men in the front laughed.

“Nah, your loneliness isn’t the one that’ll be killing you. Just wait.”

You don’t know how you did it, but you managed to be the best drunken socialite ever and the Daily Mail wasn’t around to see your Oscar-worthy performance. The whole time you tried to keep your mind off where they were taking you and what they planned to do. You focused on the fact that Daniel and his guys were tailing you and Miles had his detective friend on standby to apprehend these assholes.

When the car came to a slow rolling stop, you pretended to be passed out. As you were pulled out of the car you heard the men laughing with each other.

“Easiest job ever.”

“Tell me about it. I almost feel bad for the girl.”

“Your sister really has it out for her huh.”

“My sister is bat shit crazy and doesn’t know how to let shit go, but she is right about one thing with this bitch out the picture more money for her and to split with us.”

These guys were fucking idiots, you thought to yourself as you got all the inside information about what was going on. Worst criminals ever. Who talks about all this with the victim within earshot and alive?

“Come on it's almost midnight let’s have some fun then off her.”

“What a pity.”

You heard the clinking of belt buckles and the rustling of material, and you knew shit was about to go south. You sprang up and looked around.

“Where am I?”

“Detour,” the man you now knew as Dom and Aleeza’s brother said.

You let your head lol forward as if it were too heavy to hold.

“She’s still drunk,” the other man said snickering.

“That’s good, it’ll make this easier for you to accept.”

You saw his pants drop and you panicked, well sort of. Your heart raced wildly but your head was calm. You took in the men and looked to all the points you knew would cause the most pain. Throughout your life, you’ve gone through plenty of training and classes. Dance, piano, flute, gymnastics, media training, etiquette training, and even self-defense.

Your parents thought it was important that you knew basic survival moves in case you were ever the victim of an abduction or home invasion. What started as basic moves turned into detailed mixed martial arts training by the one man your father trusted, Hammond, your personal bodyguard, and trainer. He’d gone deep into your training and because of it, you knew how to take someone down in 6 moves or less.

Thankfully you’d never needed the use any of the in-depth moves on anyone. Kicks to the nuts and flying five fingers to the throat worked all the time. You knew you could take these idiots in under 5 moves. Before either could lay a hand on you, a phone rang.

“Goddamn it,” Dom grunted before he dug the phone out of his pocket. “OF course it’s her. What!”

You strained to hear who was talking on the other end, but nothing came through.

“I was just going to have some fun. Come on Leeza you promised. What’s it so fucking important that she’s dead by midnight? What the fuck is this some fucked up Cinderella reenactment? It’s bullshit. I’ll kill her after we’ve tried her out. A virgin with one fuck under her belt is still practically a virgin.”

He chuckled and his lackey joined in as his beady eyes looked over your body ready to pounce given the ok. You should have pressed the panic button then so Daniel and his men could be there within a minute, but you didn’t. That rage that was silently bubbling within you was no longer silent.

“Fine!”

Dom pushed a button on the phone then shoved it to you. You sat there expectantly waiting for something.

“I bet you’re wondering what is going on right now, huh? Trying to understand who they are and even why I am on the phone now.”

Aleeza giggled as if she’d won the biggest prize in the world. Yeah, laugh now bitch, I’m coming for you, you said in your head.

“Who—who is this? What’s happening?”

“Oh that’s right, you’re drunk off your ass because the man you thought was a diamond turned to be nothing but trash. The man you fell for used you and tossed you out like the trash you are.

She giggled again. “My god, it was such a good show to watch as your heart shattered into pieces on the floor and Lewis didn’t give one flying fuck.”

You were getting tired of her laughs. She sounded like a demented Cruella DeVille.

“A—Aleeza? Is that you?”

“Fucking right it’s me. I told you to enjoy this week. Did you? I hope you did because you won’t be seeing next week.”

“Wa—What are you—what do you mean?”

“For the life of me I don’t know how Jordan put you in charge of anything let alone the board, you’re as dumb as a box of nails. You didn’t see this coming at all, did you? My god, I don’t know why I’m surprised, neither did your whore of a mother.”

Your heartbeat picked up making your ears ring loudly. For a few moments, you couldn’t hear anything but the sound of your own body fighting.

“Hello? Dom, for fucks sake tell me you didn’t kill her.”

“I didn’t touch her. She looks like she’s about to pass out though.”

Again Aleeza cackled. “Your drunk brain won’t be able to put it together but don’t worry I’ll tell you 2 secrets, because you’ll be dead after you hear them and ya know dead whores tell no tales.”

You clenched your jaw and tried to control your breathing.

“I was behind your whole Lewis break up. I blackmailed him into breaking your heart in a precise way that you’d feel that pain for the rest of your life. I was there when he did it too, it was a good show. I told him either break your heart or end his career. Can you really be surprised he chose his career over you?”

She laughed.

“Is she crying? Please tell me the bitch is crying.”

The lackey bent down and looked at your face then smiled.

“She sure is.”

That only made Aleeza laugh louder. She thought you were crying tears of sadness when in fact they were tears of rage. Before, you were going to let the police handle the justice part of your revenge, but the decision was now made that your hands would deliver justice.

“So weak. If that made you cry then my 2nd secret might actually kill you. Get close, Y/N.”

A few tense moments passed in silence before Aleeza spoke again.

“I—killed—your—mother,” she whispered stretching out each word.

Your world came apart then. Your body shook as your head tried to understand. It made no sense. How was that possible?”

“How? You’re lying. My mother died from Cancer.”

“Oh, I know. Did you know that arsenic compounds can cause cancer? Matter of fact it’s classed as a group 1 carcinogen. That means science has proven that it conclusively and all the time causes cancer in humans. When I read that it only took me a few days to come up with a better plan. See I was just going to slip her some arsenic and wham bam she’s dead, but she didn’t deserve a quick death after stealing Jordan from me and living my dream for decades. So me and my big brother Dom committed to the slow game. If you give this compound little by little every day in small enough dosages that won’t harm right away but build up to kill. I was surprised it only took a year for her to actually get cancer. By then I’d run out of patience and upped the amount and well—she was gone 3 months after her diagnosis leaving your father all alone and ready for me. The rest well—is history.”

Your tears of rage were now tears of despair. This crazy bitch was so venomous, so evil that she planned and killed your mother. What the fuck was this? This couldn’t be real life. There was no way normal people went to these lengths to get what they wanted. How? Your breathing hitched and within seconds you were hyperventilating.

“Fuck Aleeza, you might have given her a heart attack.”

She only laughed louder. Your world had just fallen apart, and she was laughing as if it was the world’s funniest comedy series. This woman had single handedly ruined yours, your mothers and your father’s lives. She’d taken your mother from you leaving a chasm within you that would never be filled. Suddenly what you’d had planned for her didn’t seem like nearly enough. The bitch had to die.

“I can’t believe we got away with it. Now it’s your turn. Anyway, don’t worry about your dad, he’ll be following soon, and I’ll take good care of Lewis for you. Very good care. Bye-bye. Dom, get it done, kill the bitch.”

“You got it little sis.”

The phone beeped, ending the call and you sat there in disbelief. In your head your mother’s final day played in your mind. She’d been in so much pain, but she still kept a brave face on never giving anything away. You knew though and watching her say goodbye to you and your father broke all of you. She’d died holding both your hands her final words being, “I wish I had more time, but I love you both.”

Fresh tears filled your eyes, and you wailed feeling a whole new sense of loss. She’d taken everything from you.

“Aww, sad bitches aren’t any fun in bed,” the lackey said.

Dom however didn’t seem to care, he approached you then gripped your shoulders with both hands. As he began pushing you backward trying to make you lie down you snapped. Suddenly your knee raised and connected with his nuts. He shouted out then collapsed on top of you. Shoving him off, you bolted up in time to see the other man running toward you. You lifted your leg and connected the pointed tip of your heels under his chin in the spot where his windpipe began. The man instantly began coughing as he struggled to get air.

You jumped to your feet keeping your eyes on both of them. Dom came at you with a metal pipe swinging wildly wanting to connect with any part of you. Bobbing and weaving, you did just as Hammond taught you all those years ago. When he realized he wasn’t going to accomplish anything, he charged you taking you by surprise. His hands wrapped around your throat and squeezed.

“I was going to make this quick but fuck that. I’ll make it slow and painful. Ever been fucked in your ass gorgeous?!”

His smile was sinister and disgusting. You lifted your knee again and kicked his in his nuts for the 2nd time. Dom dropped to his knees holding his crotch.

“You’re as dumb as your sister.”

You picked up the metal pipe then smiled.

“Have you ever been fucked in your ass gorgeous?”

He looked at you in all seriousness. Before he could get one leg up, you swung the pipe and hit him right in the face. His body dropped and he writhed in pain. From the corner of your eye, you caught the other guy coming at you, but his fist connected with your cheek before you could react. It hurt like a motherfucker, but you didn’t focus on it, instead, you swung the pipe again and whacked him at his knees taking them out and sending him to the ground. You then stomped on his crotch and hit him in the back as he rolled over hoping to protect his equipment from any further attack.

You turned to Dom to give him another hit, but it was then Daniel and the bodyguards he’d assigned came running in. As you watched them overtake Dom and his partner, you saw Lewis swing the hardest punch right to the center of Dom's face breaking his nose and knocking him out completely. A true one-hit quitter. That wasn't enough though, Lewis then kicked him in the gut twice.

"You fucking wanker! You're gonna do what to her? Fuck out of here!" He finished on another kick.

Seeing the blood gushing from Dom's face only made you even more berzerk. You screamed out and turned whacking the shit out of anything that was nearby. Soon you were a raging maniac screaming, crying, and hitting what you could as the emotions ran through you.

Strong arms wrapped around you stopping you from bringing the metal pipe down on or into anything else, then the pipe was gone as Miles yanked it out your hands.

“It’s okay Y/N, I have you. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Lewis’s voice tried to break through the haze of rage and everything going on in your head, but it was barely making it through. His grip tightened and slowly the ringing in your ears stopped and his voice could be heard.

“It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you. It’s okay, I have you.”

You turned to him and saw sympathy in his eyes. One look around the room told you that they’d heard.

“You—you—you--,” you stuttered.

“We heard.”

Standing beside Daniel you saw Hammond with a solemn look on his face.

“We heard everything, Sparkle,” Hammond said.

The nickname he’d given you when you were a kid broke through everything.

“Hammond.”

You ran to him and crashed your body into his. Hammond hugged you tightly.

“It’s okay Sparkle. We’re gonna take care of this.”

He led you away and you let him because you trust him completely.

Twenty or so minutes later you were sitting outside your house in the limo with Hammond, Daniel, Miles, Andrew, and Lewis. On the ride over, Hammond had filled you in on how he’d cornered Daniel at the event thinking he was planning to do you harm only to be looped into the whole Aleeza mess which led him to take point with Daniel to make sure you were safe. You thought he was still on his vacation with his wife Yulee.

You were staring at the mansion you grew up in with so much going through your mind. Right now, you were sure your father was waiting in his office for Hammond after he made a call telling him there was something important to discuss. The plan was to present him with all the evidence without Aleeza present then call the cops to come in to haul her ass off to join her brother.

As you walked through your house, it felt like you weren’t walking at all. When you looked down you found Lewis’s hand engulfing yours. You looked over at him and found his eyes boring into you.

“I have you.”

His voice was muffled almost distorted as if this was real right now. However, you knew it was because you would never dream this up. This was a nightmare. Hammond led the way into your father’s office and when he saw all of you, he immediately stood.

“What’s going on? Y/N, are you all right?”

He must have seen the forming bruise on your cheek and your split lip. He came over to you cupped your cheeks and examined your injuries.

“Who did this to you?”

His eyes roamed around until they landed on Lewis beside you who was still holding your hand. Your father’s eyes dropped down to take in your clasped hands. The only reaction was a raised eyebrow. You wiggled free from Lewis’ hand then put yours behind your back.

“Hello, Mr. Y/L/N,” Lewis said.

“Hello. What’s going on? Why are you all here this late?”

He looked at Hammond who sighed.

“Old friend, I wish I were here under better circumstances but I’m not. You should sit down for this.”

Your father looked at you and you could see the worry and alarm etched on his face. You took his hand and led him to his chair then stood beside him and let the chips fall. Lewis was the one to lay it all out. You didn’t think you could get through it without turning into a completely different person. As he calmly explained everything beginning with Aleeza’s first approach to him you kept your father’s hand in yours. You watched as Lewis blew up his contract and possibly his own career to tell everything.

Your father shot up to his feet. “You did what to my daughter!”

He lurched forward to Lewis, but you squeezed his hand hoping to reign in his anger and bring his eyes to you. “I’m fine.”

“Fine? Honey--,” He began cupping your cheek with his free hand.

Tears pricked your eyes, but you fought them off. Now was not the time to fall apart.

“I’m all right.”

“This is crazy. Aleeza did this?”

“Yes, and there’s more and it gets crazier,” Miles said.

Lewis placed his phone down on the desk as your father sat back down. Then he pressed play and the recording from his place with Aleeza admitting everything and even propositioning him for sex while blackmailing him with his career played in its entirety. Your father’s hand went limp then.

“Oh my god,” he muttered weakly.

When the recording went silent he looked back at you. “Oh my god, sweetheart I had—I didn’t—oh god.”

He turned back around and dropped his head in his hands.

“Old friend there is more.”

Silence stretched again and they looked at you expecting you to take the lead but you couldn’t. You were so tired. Daniel stepped forward and explained the new information you’d found about Dom and their plan to kidnap then kill you. Your father’s top popped then. His anger was so evident that Hammond had to brace his arm around him to try to calm him down. When Daniel went on to tell him the plan you’d concocted and the precautions he’d taken, you could tell that your father was even more anxious.

Hammond took over to finish the story with how the night ended but placed the voice recording on the desk so your father could hear everything from when you were put in the car to when they’d shown up. In a matter of minutes you watched a man who’d always been your hero, a man who you loved more than anything, a man who’d been your crutch since your mother passed, a man who you saw as a pillar of strength crumble before your very eyes. His legs gave out and he staggered to the set of leather couches on the other side of his office and the minute he sank into the couch he was bawling with the weight of his anguish.

He was no longer this strong indestructible man and father; he was a distraught and broken husband riddled with guilt for the signs he didn’t see and the life he’d led with his wife’s murderer.

“Noooooooooo!”

He began punching the coffee table before him with no thought of injury to himself. You knew this, it was rage. The same rage that was overflowing in you, the same rage that you feared would consume you unless you let it out. However you knew if you did there would be no stopping it. Miles, Andrew, Daniel and Hammond did their best to restrain him so he couldn’t hurt himself any further. Lewis stepped in front of you peering into your eyes.

“I know you’re not okay right now so tell me how I can help.”

You bit your bottom lip which you’d just realized was shaking. After a few moments, your resolve crumpled as did your face. You tried to formulate words, but nothing came out, just a wail. Lewis instantly wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his strong arms. You were content releasing your despair until the office door swung open and you heard her voice.

“Jordy bear,” she sing-songed.”

Once she’d stepped into the office she stopped in her tracks holding a tray with one glass of dark liquid. Her words from earlier filled your head.

“Don’t worry about your dad, he’ll be following soon.”

What was a quiet beast before turned into a thundering monster. You tore yourself from Lewis and locked eyes on your prey like a predator. Once Aleeza’s eyes landed on you, you watched every emotion in the book wash across her face. When it settled on one, “Oh I’m fucked”, you pounced.

“Y/N, don’t,” Lewis shouted.

It was too late though. With speed you’d never had before you crossed the room to Aleeza who let go of the trey and shrieked. She made an attempt to turn and run but she was too slow. You yanked the bitch back by her hair then took out her legs bringing her to the floor right on her face. Keeping her disgusting hair wrapped around your fist, you pulled more while keeping your foot in the center of her back.

It was then you felt several pairs of hands pulling at you trying to get you off of her but you must have possessed the strength of a hundred men because you didn’t budge.

“Let her go!”

“No!”

Aleeza screamed louder as the voices behind you shouted even more for you to let her go. Fuck that you thought. You’d let her go when she’d departed to hell. A hand managed to yank you back so your knee came off her back, but your hand remained gripped in her hair. The force of you going back meant she came along for the ride which made her scream even more.

“Let her go!”

Suddenly all that was in your hand was the hair that was wrapped around it. It took a second or two to realize you’d yanked the bitch’s hair right out of her scalp. The bloody ends only fueled your anger making you see red completely. The hands that were holding you suddenly felt like a hindrance and you fought against them. You sent an elbow into someone’s gut, the back of your fist into someone’s nose, the back of your head into someone’s forehead then your forehead into someone’s forehead.

You then took off where Aleeza was running, a hand grabbed you, but you turned and shoved them before getting back to the scheduled program of beating this bitch into the grave. She screamed wildly as she ran. Seeing she was getting close to the steps you grabbed one of the vases in the hall and threw it at her feet. Aleeza screamed as she came crashing down. Before she could get up you jumped on her and began hitting her over and over and over. You didn’t stop for nothing and no one.

The more she screamed and begged you to stop the harder you hit her.

“Y/N, stop. You’ll kill her,” Lewis shouted as he tried to pull you back.

“Good! Like she killed my mother! Like she tried to kill me!”

Lewis grabbed your hand giving Aleeza a chance to squeeze out from under you. You elbowed him not caring where it landed then lunged for her again. As you wrapped your arms around her neck, you both toppled over the top step and then tumbled down the spiral staircase.

“Y/N!”

You were a bundle of legs and arms as you tumbled over and over. You felt the pain of every collision with the flat surface and blunt edge of the steps, but you didn’t care. Finally, your fall ended, and you lay there dazed and dizzy on the cold marble floor trying to catch your breath. As you breathed you ached but as you breathed it sounded more like a wheeze than a breath. Staring up, you thought you saw your mother’s face hovering above in the painted ceiling—her painted ceiling. You tried to raise your hand to touch her, but you ached too much. Her voice sounded then.

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

She deserves this,” you rasped. “After eve—everything she’s done to you. She killed you. She deserves to die.”

“Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

You bawled as you battled your wrath and the need for mercy. You didn’t know how to draw the line; you didn’t want to. You wanted her to bleed. You screamed loud and long then suddenly the all-consuming rage you’d felt the last week slowly left you as if it had found an opening to release itself.

Lewis came into view then. His mouth was moving but you heard no words. What you did hear though was a raspy “please.” As if possessed you turned toward the sound, ignoring the pain you felt. There was Aleeza crawling to the front door still trying to escape.

“Fuck—no!”

You flopped onto your belly then slowly inched toward her. It took forever but you managed to crawl over her and flip her onto her back. Her face was bloodied and bruised with both eyes swollen. She looked almost as ugly on the outside as she did inside.

“P—lease.”

“Look at me.”

Her pupils met yours through the tiny slits the swelling would allow and you saw her fear. Good you thought.

“I could kill you if I wanted to and no one here would bat an eye. They would help me dispose of your body and no one would ever think of you again because you are a pathetic, vile, and evil person who deserves to rot in hell for eternity. You spent so much fucking time hating my mother, hating me because you knew she was better than you. You knew that you were nothing but a speck of dirt on her shoe and you couldn’t stand it. She had what you never will, class and the love of so many people. You ruined so many lives. For what!!”

You raised your hand ready to hit her, but your hand was caught. Looking back, you saw your father.

“Don’t. Your mother wouldn’t want this for you. She wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“We’re never going to know what she wanted because she killed her!”

“I know. I know your rage honey, I feel it too, believe me, it is taking everything in me to not do what you’re doing but I won’t allow her to take anything else from us.”

His words were filled with so much pain, so much hate.

“I don’t know if I can daddy.”

“You can. Just take my hand,” Lewis said coming to stand beside your father.

You stared at him then looked at your father then back at Aleeza. Long moments passed with you not making any move until you saw your mother’s painting on the wall. Somehow the painter had managed to capture everything about her; her class, her beauty, her gentleness, her calm, and the pure peace she emulated. That peace washed over you and you knew it was her, it had to have been.

You took Lewis’ hand and allowed him to pull you up to brace yourself against him. As if sensing the fragile peace in the air, the police burst through the door.  You watched them grab Aleeza and haul her out. The police there took statements from everyone and confiscated the recordings for their evidence and samples of the brown liquid Aleeza was bringing in for your father.

After an hour, the foyer only had the seven of you. No one knew what to say.

“You need a hospital,” Lewis said to you.

“Please this is nothing. Hammond has put me through worse during training.”

“She’s tough,” Hammond replied with a proud smile.

Lewis nodded slowly but you could tell he was still worried.

“Tell you what I’ll get them both to the hospital for a proper exam,” Hammond compromised.

Lewis nodded with more enthusiasm.

“You gentlemen should be on your way,” your father said.

You looked at Miles, Andrew and Daniel and saw for the first time how banged up they looked.

“Oh my god, are you guys okay?”

They all backed up. “We’re good.”

It hit you then that you’d done this.

“Oh god guys I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re good. We’re going to head out,” Andrew said.

“Thank you guys for—everything.”

You locked eyes with each of them for a few moments and saw they understood just what you meant.

“That’s what fam is for,” Miles said.

You smiled then nodded. As they made their way to the door you noted how slowly Lewis walked.

“Are you okay?”

“He took an elbow to the chest, a headbutt, and a kick to the thigh,” Andrew listed.

Your jaw dropped. While he deserved maybe the headbutt for what he’d done, you felt bad about how you’d beaten him.

“I’m--,” you began.

“Don’t say it. I deserved it. It’s cool.”

“Ehm, speaking of what you deserve. I will see you bright and early in my office come Monday morning,” your father said.

Lewis took a deep breath and nodded. “Understood sir.”

The door closed and your eyes drifted back to your mother’s painting. You felt your father’s arms around you.

“She’d be proud of you. And so disappointed in myself.”

You turned to him. “Dad, you’re a victim in this. How were you to know? She played everyone.”

“I’m afraid to meet her again because I told her I’d protect you and look, I couldn’t.”

“Mom raised me with enough sense and all the tools to protect myself, plus with Hammond’s training, no one stands a chance—unless you’re a staircase. I think I may have broken a rib.”

Hammond laughed. “Let’s get you checked out. Come on,” he said as he got on your right with your father on the left. The two helped you hobble to the door.

“Lewis Hamilton, huh.”

You groaned totally not ready to have this candid conversation with him about your love life.

“He’s a little on the pretty side compared to your tastes. I have to admit I did not see that coming.”

You snorted then groaned as pain washed over you, “Neither did I, dad. Neither did I,” you said as you walked through the door and to the waiting car.

You knew this trip to the hospital was not going to be a quick in and out. You were close to crashing and honestly, you needed the rest. You were tired, your heart was tired—your soul was tired and ready to lay its burdens down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[aquagustd]

ur so mean to go from choking to smut. like i went from "omg he's awful wtf. stay away from her jk!!" to "and he's so 🥵 and 😮‍💨" i really love their scenes together bc they're so emotionally charged. idk if that's a good thing but oc x jk just have this flavor ! that i'm sawry but i don't feel from tae :( i still like him tho and i like how happy oc is when talking to tae, she's giddy and enjoying herself without stress attached (unlike with jk). junho ofc as always 100000/10. i love that boy so dearly. if i could make any request for hie, it would be to just have scenes of oc and junho from when he was born to now. like what was junho like as a 3 yr old? the ppl demand (kindly) an answer ma'am 🎤 and what is going on with the textile factory? a side endeavor? a company front? really interesting how flirty jk was with oc the next day, like he kinda assumed they were back together with his open affections. i don't like that when he's still getting married 🤨 jk answer for all ur crimes without crying and having oc feel sorry for you. back to the jk smut scene, it was hot af but the "i always knew i'd get to have you with me again" line threw me off bc he said that right after avoiding her questions. like what?! idk what's real and fake with him. at least oc knows she still has some power over him, really want the playing fields to be leveled.

weird side note, but i feel like jk is on this trip playing house and he's definitely looking at junho thinking "this kid is amazing and kind and smart and /we're/ his parents and then he's looking at oc thinking "we should make another that's just as perfect"

anyways thank u for uploading despite the hateful msgs. i hope they leave you tf alone forever

i read ‘ur so mean’ and my heart sank a bit lmao 💀 but HEY cherry !! i saw your other ask and it’s you <3

LMAO ‘jk answer for your crimes without crying’ you called him OUT 🫣 but yeah how can he think that he an oc are on the ‘ill kiss your cheek whenever i like’ status after what happened 😟 the audacity pls. but tae 🥺 she really is relaxed with him and we can tell that she truly enjoys talking to him and she wants things to work out. jk is a little too sure of himself 🤨🤨 he got put in his place a bit when oc was moaning tae’s name after she turned him down 👀

you saying jk & oc have this flavor …. might have something to do with the fact that JK IS MY BIAS TOO 🫣😭 idk but i see that myself in my writing and it’s something i can’t help. but ig we’ll see how it goes 👁

oh junho as a baby :( you want to see more of baby junho ??? it’s a sad time for oc but junho was her savior and he was just a cute blob 🥺 it’ll probably be more platonic yoongi x oc too !! maybe one day you guys can ask me stuff about baby smiley and i’ll write something quick quick for you guys !! just let me know if you’d like that !!

oc does have a hold on him 👀 & vice versa 🥴 but she’s strong & we have faith in her not to give into his charms 🫡 LMAOOO he definitely saw oc’s mommy milkers and his mind must’ve been cooking up all sorts of ideas 🫣 tysm for reading babes <3

[bedtimebrain]

EXO Baekhyun: Speedpost!

(while i've been having fun with all these drawings in my past few posts, i must admit i almost puked when i looked at this one as i was uploading today. for the sake of our eyes will nicely put a stop to this soon :,D)

Char: baek x u Genre: military baek, fluff!, needy (?) reader Description: you thought you could do just fine with baek in the military, but it seems like you actually need him a little more than you think Word Count: 1.3k Track for feels: Avril Lavigne, Wish you were here

You honestly thought you were the kind of strong and independent girlfriend. The kind that would do absolutely fine when your boyfriend enlists.

But truth be told, you barely scrape past this week, and it has only been a week since baek enlisted. Doubts, doubts. Could you even hold it together for another 2 more weeks? You remember just the day before baekhyun's enlistment, he deliberately teased you with fake sobbings,

'babe, will you cry if i'm not around? you might miss me so much it's too much for you to bear right? if you..'

you simply scoffed and cut him off

'ya, byun baekhyun, i'm afraid i would have to disappoint you. i am very much a busy and independent woman. i will do just fine with you enlisting. plus we will probably get to call once in a while, i can live with that'

you smugly folded your arms, sending an attack to his ego

In hindsight, the attack went out like a boomerang and came right back at you. You can already imagine baekhyun playfully gloating

'Strong independent woman, jagiya?'

Perhaps it might all be better if a wreck package hadn't self-invited itself to your life this week.

First of all, your boss decided it was a good idea to throw your proposal back in your face. Next, your very considerate across-the-globe client planned a conference call close to sleeping time in korea. As if it all couldn’t be worse, you overheard a juicy conversation your colleagues were having about you in the washroom.

All these just made you want to run right to baekhyun. To lie on his lap, throw punches at him and hear him flame your life perpetrators with the most nonsensical phrases.

During the day, all you looked forward to was your phonecalls with baek. But who knew even a phonecall date would be as hard to fulfil as climbing mount Everest.

Apart from the first day, every other day the past week was met full of hiccups. Either you were caught up with conference calls and work, or baek was cutting too close to lights out for a long call.

You call it baek crumbs, yes you were surviving on baek crumbs.

There was still sometime left before your phonecall date tonight. You yanked open your refrigerator in search of your alternative destress mechanism -- chocolates. You sighed at your depleting chocolate stash, physically indicating how badly you needed baek.

Back on the sofa, you swallowed down Freddo and you plugged in your earphones like an emo teen, randomly choosing a song radio to play.

As if Siri heard your inner thoughts, the radio chose to play Avril Lavinge's Wish You Were Here. Before you know it, you were a crying mess.

It's not even like you guys were breaking up, but the lyrics were literally stabbing into your heart But right now i wish you were here.... Damn, what i'd do to have you here ...

You were pathetically brawling away when baekhyun's call came in. Suppressing your heavy sobbing, you picked up the phone after a couple of rings at this untimely moment.

'Jagiya, i've 15minutes today! How have you been? You wouldn't believe what happen today! Jagi? Are you there?' His animated voice died down and he held a pause.

'Are you crying? y/n why are you crying? what happened?' you hear a hint of panic in his voice

Baekhyun was fast at catching on things, your quietness, shakey breathes and suppressed hitches were more than enough to indicate a red flag to him.

You had intended for tonight's call to be a fun and not your emotional health hotline help. Taking a deep breath, you tried to put up a front, and with your most stable voice, replied him

'ya, what crying? so what happened with you today?'

'ya, stop bullshitting me. you're crying, what's up with you?' turning all serious, he wasn't going to let you dodge this

you bit down hard on your lip, you couldn't get a syllable out of your throat, afraid the moment you did so you would break down completely.

'damn it, i would totally break the law just to bring a camera phone in so you cannot hide your face from me. tell me please?' he sounded urgent and frustrated, but gentle in asking you to tell him

'baekhyun ah, i can't do this anymore. i thought i could, but why is it so difficult' your voice cracked and you burst into hot tears

'i haa-d such a bad week and i just want..want.. to tell you about it every night. but our time together is always so short that by the time it got to my turn to tell you about my day.........the call ends. and.. and.. i don't know..... what to do about all these on my own..with--without you' you were wailing and possibly incomprehensible by now

'ya..y/n-ie, mi an hae. jeongmal mi an. i just realised i hadn't even heard about how your day went this entire week. i always got so carried away telling you about me, i wasn’t considerate enough.'

Almost running out of tears, you regain your composure quickly

‘Jagi, I’m not blaming you. Please don’t take it that way, it’s just.. I really wish you were around.’

The call suddenly went silent on the other sides, then you heard some low shouts in the background

‘Baekhyunie?’ You guess it was probably an early roll call again

A few moments later, baekhyun was back on the call.

‘Jagi, I’m sorry, I’ll probably have to go soon, the sergeant’s checking my barracks next.

Anyway, I actually had something I wanted to give you the night before I enlisted, but you insisted you were an independent and busy woman....’

His sentence was left broken with a sudden series of clattering like his phone had dropped. You heard louder shouts this time round, then a hurried whisper from Baekhyun

‘Jagi, check the right drawer under your table alright. I got to go now, mi an.’

‘Ah, okay.. saranghae’ and the call was dropped.

You know it was beyond Baekhyun’s control when he had to end the call. But it still didn’t stop you from feeling down at the abrupt goodbye.

Forcing a smile on your face for the sake of your own, you went to your table as baekhyun had told you.

Right drawer under the table?

Pulling open the drawer to find a floral patterned metallic box.

Was baek referring to this?

Popping open the metal box you gasp at the contents scattered within. With a hand over your mouth, you could feel your eyes welling up with tears again.

Chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Fanciful chocolates. Notes... byun baekhyun actually wrote notes for you?

He never once made you cards no matter how hard you ‘jaebal’ for him to. He would just say

‘Too difficult’

‘Too bothersome’

‘Suck at handicraft’

You pulled out the longest note in the entire box and couldn’t help but chuckle when you saw his scrawls

Annyeong Jagi! I bet you would choose this to read first cause it’s the longest. Did I guess it right?ㅋㅋ i wrote a letter to my beloved EXO-Ls, and I thought, how could I not leave you with one? Y/N, you see the chocolates in this box? I went to the candy store that day and picked them individually for you. Because I’m not around, I thought you might need them more. If you have a hard time when I’m away, take a chocolate and a note, enjoy them and think about me. Thank you for waiting, nae sarang, very soon I’ll be with you again. ^^

On the table, your phone vibrated and your screen lit up.

A msg from baekhyun:

Found my speedpost? Saranghae, wool ji ma(dont cry). Let’s call again tmr, goodnight!

You were smiling and crying like a fool by now. With a vision blurred by your tears, you typed a reply

Ya byun Baekhyun. Gumawo.... saranghae

Surely, you must have saved a nation your past life for you to meet byun baekhyun.

———

I was watching EXO arcade and this super random thought came to mind, do yall think their new album concept actually came from EXO arcade?

Like maybe they had been planning a season 2 all along and a new album. But they couldn’t think of a concept, so tada! Arcade, games! For their album concept~ Is there any talk like this circulating, hahah, hope I’m not late to the party then.

[capricores]

Please kill me with your cuteness, I love your dating rants so much🥺🥺 ugh I want to hear moreee!!! And please tell me how do you date ugh, how did it all start for you? Do you usually online date? I find it hard to find people in real life? Ahh I was talking to this guy and got too attached too fast ugh and he was like it's going to fast 😭 my Venus in Aries always killing me but please give me some advice, I love to listen to youuuu💗💖

omfdlkjfd stooop you’re so sweet!!!! my heart!!!!!!! 🥺💞

well it was easier before the pandemic, cause now i don’t meet anyone from online 😭 actually i started properly dating super late in life?? like not until i was 21 i believe?? i mean i had one (1) irl boyfriend before that, and that was it. everyone i dated from like ages 13-21 were long distance people i met on tumblr/twitter. not that i don’t consider those real relationships, because they are very real ofc!! but it was like.. not the same intensity?? or at least didn’t feel like real dating to me, probably cause i was just a teen not taking things as seriously??

but anyway, every single person except for two (one i met at college, one i met in the streets cause he came up to me lol) that i’ve crushed on/gone on dates with i’ve met online!!! dating apps rly saved me lol😭 ofc you have to be super careful with dating apps, and currently it’s probably not the best time to be meeting people from them left and right, but they’re very very helpful in dating!! i’ve found bumble + hinge to be the best if you’re looking for an actual relationship? tinder is like.. i mean i HAVE gotten a boyfriend off tinder, so i won’t trash it, but 98% of the people i talk to just wanna netflix and chill, so be wary if you’re looking for a relationship 💀 i’m the same as you! i find it very hard/rare to meet people irl that i want to date. i’ve met lots of great people at school/work, but rarely anyone i develop any sort of romantic/sexual interest in. i know there’s a stigma around dating apps but most ppl i know met their significant others through them, i’ve also made great friends and relationships through them so :’) no harm in trying them out!! again tho, once it is safe to meet ppl (covid wise, i kno some countries are more open and safe now??), be careful!! and always meet in public and google tf out of them before meeting!! i always make sure i can find them on multiple social medias and confirm they aren’t a fake profile/etc (i go full stalker scorpio lmao, but it’s definitely worth it, i’m a bit paranoid but like..gotta be careful!!!)

but also i feel your pain on getting attached too fast 🥺 that’s my fatal flaw that i’ve been working suuuuper hard to heal recently! i think the best thing you can do is to start viewing people and relationships plainly. don’t daydream/romanticize/idealize things that aren’t there. view people how they act, view them for their actions and how they treat you; not what they say or how you WANT them to be or how you daydream them to be! once i started viewing people as they are, without reading into their actions/etc, i started healing my attachment issues quite quickly! another thing i recommend is really focusing on that self-love. i know everyone hates hearing this, and i used to hate it too, but it’s so true. when you pour love into yourself and your interests, you focus less on others (healthily) and respect yourself more!! you realize you don’t *need* anyone to complete you; but someone to complement you is great. 

i found trying new hobbies, talking to friends more/being more social (or..socially distant social now 😭 i hate it here), working more/focusing on my career and skills, etc made me focus more internally and on myself, rather than pouring all my energy into crushes and relationships like i used to do! 

hopefully this advice is a little bit helpful!!!!!!! 🥺🤍 if you ever need more advice/wanna talk i’m always here and glad to help!!!!!!!!!!! you can msg me here anytime or on my main @iluvgirls !! 🥰

OH! important add-on: i find people like us that fall too quickly tend to lack..boundaries and sometimes standards? 😭 so that’s something i definitely recommend too!! read up on establishing boundaries and not settling for less! after i started implementing big boundaries and standards in my dating life AND friendships, i started attracting much better people and situations. it definitely ties into the whole viewing people as they really are, not how you want them to be. and it’s so so vital!!!

[rdy2laugh]

60 years old and he uses a copy/paste message??? He obviously didn't read the profile....

I don't think I will EVER understand why so many men think women are so stupid let alone....he is in Pennsylvania and I am in Michigan. My profile IS clear stating in the very first line 'I am not available, do not contact me for meetings or dates. I have what I want and am happy.' Do you have any idea how freaking ignorant you look to send this shit to someone who is NOT available and not looking to meet anyone as they are IN a relationship?? I just don't get WHY you folks do this and assume we are all going to fall for fake compliments when it is so obvious you did NOT read the profiles at all.

MSG: WOW WOW WOW, you're such a beautiful hot woman, and no man in his right sense would go pass your profile without saying i, i know i might be late as you must have gotten a lot of attention that you needed on here, but i would appreciate if i get a reply back from you and i hope we could get to text much as i don't get on this site often, i really would be looking forward to read back from you and i would appreciate if you send me a text to this number so we can get to chat more and talk over the phone (xxx) xxx-xxxx... I would be looking forward to read from you on my phone. enjoy the rest of your day and have a lovely night rest.

So you ASSUME I am going to say "wow wow wow" because you thought I was so hot and then drop everything in my life to respond to you?? It is even on the photo that I am NOT looking and this guy has been here since 2017!!! Why he hasn't figured out that copy/paste messages don't work yet I don't know, but aside from that he is in PENNSYLVANIA and I am in MICHIGAN!!! I am not desperate for a man to the point of I go to another state nor do I want someone like that coming HERE!! I am WITH someone so your supposed compliment actually equates to you think I am a cheating whore. That also means you think you are going to get a quick romp in the hay then disappear after you got what YOU wanted. Maybe some on here want that, but I DO NOT and my profile reflects it.

You are setting yourself up for failure with this crap fellas!!!!

[woozisnoots]

Hello! I found you by chance and just wanted to say that your writing and organization nd while vibe is inspiring for me. I've been writing for a little over a decade and barely had the courage to post my stories online and when I do, the lack of response makes me doubt myself and I end up deleting it all after a few months. Seeing your work and behavior makes me want to try again, and if the svt ff community is alive, maybe I'll try my luck. I'll take any advice youve got! Stay strong and safe.

hi anon!!! i’m so sorry this took such a long while to get to :( i really wanted to give you a well, thoughtout response bc trust me, this was me when i first started to post and i just wanted to find the right words to say 🥺

omg wait but FIRST OFF i wanted to say thank you so much for your sweet words!! i literally fell down my staircase reading your msg bc i was so jittery like akskgjska I INSPIRED YOU?? ME? anon, i am puddy in your arms, you have my entire heart 🤧♥️

(but anyways) honestly, i’m still fairly new to the carat writing community here, but these pieces of advice really helped me when i first started! it’s not a whole lot but i would love to share in hopes that it might help you as much as it did for me!

don’t worry so much over numbers. its so easy to get sucked up, worrying over how many notes one piece gets versus another. but that, by no means, does not define the value, effort, and hard work that you put into your writing! you should be proud with whatever you put out ✨

write what YOU want. THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAY, LITERALLY THE BEST ADVICE ANYONE HAS GIVEN ME. it doesn’t matter if something’s already been done, if you’re writing for a less popular member. someone out there is going to eat it up and love it, and better yet, YOU are gonna love it even more. lemme tell ya, the very first fake texts post i made, i was just messing around with the app. i liked it, it did fairly well. but then i made an even b e t t e r post with boo seungkwan that i LOVED and that one didn’t do so hot :/ but ykw, it still stands bc i absolutely love looking back at it and admiring my own work 🌺☺️

this might be a little far-fetched and i know a lot of writers don’t necessarily do this buuuut— interact with other writers AND your readers. writers crave interaction. or at least i do 🤪 if you love someone’s work, tell them about it! if you notice someone constantly liking the work you put out, give them a quick ⭐️thank you for reading⭐️ via dm, anon, anything! i am guilty of doing both 😌 honestly if i hadn’t reached out to some of my favorite writers and freely asked for advice or even asked for their opinions on fic ideas, i would have never had the courage to even pick up a pen / type a single word on my computer. i’ve made so many writer friends who continue to support and encourage me, push my every single day to write and all i did was say ‘hi! how are you? 😊’

ahhh this wasn’t a whole lot but hopefully you got at least one helpful thing from my word vomit that i call advice ;-; but hey! you’ve been writing for over a decade?! that’s crazy!! your work deserves to see the light of day bc i bet they’re absolutely amazing. and by the end, if you do end up posting, i would love to read it!! sending you all the luck and love !! 🌸💞💗

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 18

IN THIS EPISODE OF ROBLOX OOF NOISE:

“Yes.” Glynda couldn’t hang up, not without: “I’m—I’m sorry. About what I—”

“It’s alright. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay—” The feed cut. Softly, Glynda said again, “Okay.”

GLYNDA DISCOVERS WHY BEING CINDER FALL SUCKS

do u know how hard it is to wake up and play animal crossing whilst knowing this chapter looms over yr shoulder,

OKAY HERE WE GO

She was fidgety; even Cinder mentioned her pacing, shooting a critical eye her way. Glynda sat, intent on stillness; moments later, Cinder mentioned her bouncing leg.

i LOVE it when a chapter calls me out just right out of the gate hahaha who gave u the right

"Really?" How long had they been doing that? How long ago had Cinder noticed? "Should I stay?"

cinder: maybe i should tell glynda abt that /see glynda pacing a dent into the floor cinder: ooooooor i could. NOT give her an excuse to bully them for something to do,

On her way down the street, Glynda couldn't help but stare at the car, its tinted windows revealing nothing within. As she passed it, she kept glancing over her shoulder, expecting an attack or something. But nothing came of it.

HJGDFSGSDFHKGHJDF GLYNDA,,,,,,,,,,, can u imagine being in the white fang, and sittin in yr fuckin. TINTED WINDOWED like BULLETPROOF CAR and yr sat on yr ass watching out for cinder “dumbass” fall and suddenly glynda goodwitch, The Top Bitch, comes out and starts GLARING YR CAR DOWN,,, like ah. i think she knows we’re here. hrm. hm.

i would just like. drive to mcdonalds and get some nuggies at that point.

She had a clutch of flash-images and a wash of emotions and impressions, the raw materials of memory, stored as-is without refining. She was quite used to that—most of her missions were hazy and rough in her memory, mere sketches of events.

i cant wait for glynda to become a vlogger if only so she can actually have physical proof of whatever the fuck happens whenever she goes out and about. get her a go-pro.

It told her: despite her restlessness, despite the arduous journey here, and despite the way Vale seemed to call for her from somewhere beyond the horizon, she felt quite content to be where she was.

the difference having a gf has huh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, u got a whole ass home (being cased by the fang) a real nice city to live in (its floating and atlas wants yr number) a bunch of unread msgs (from a [redacted] who [redacted]) and its a nice day!!! its all coming together. but probably not for very long,

(i got very distracted at this point making a line graph for the animal crossing stalk market so here we go, x2 edition,)

That meant the nightlife would soon begin. She had never liked crowds; too many people, too much input at once. It was hard to focus, to be comfortable.

/chefs kiss

autistic glynda did u kno: id die for u,

Since she’d blocked Ozpin’s number, there was no chance of receiving anything directly from him—but there was still a moment of pause each time she checked her Scroll, as if expecting his smiling face to appear somehow.

OH YEAH LMAO SHE DID THAT SHIT HUH,,,,,,,,,, i still cannot BELIEVE that happened. GOD. cant wait for this to bite her entire ass right off her body,

By the time she reached the top landing, Winter had replied: “I wasn’t aware that you had additional support on this mission, Professor. I will need their full name and Hunter’s license number.”

To answer Cinder Fall and she doesn’t have a license, but she does have several warrants for her arrest felt like inviting Winter to question not only her integrity, but her sanity as well.

SDHGJFKSKGHDJFGJHDKF i cant say what makes this funnier because 👈😎👈 but HOHOHOHOOOOO could u imagine the fallout if she did just, say that shit. if we just went and fuckin said it like it was no biggie--

Finally, Glynda let her shoulders relax, exhaling deeply, like she would before rushing a Grimm. She wrote it plainly: “The clearance is for Cinder Fall.”

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MA’AM WHAT THE F U C K

winter rn:

She’d just have to wriggle her way out of having to talk face-to-face, then return the game to a field she felt slightly more comfortable with: text.

okay this is so funny to me cause i just keep thinking of her sending ‘no reason’ to oz. a MASTER of textual conversion. un fucking PARALLELED in this field, UNRIVALLED,

Glynda tossed a look at the door as well, her mouth pulling into a line; what if Cinder came outside? What if—

Could Winter track her exact position using her Scroll signal? She minimized the projection of Winter’s face and hurried off in a random direction the instant she hit the bottom of the stairs.

i LOVE these two because this is the first time we’ve rly seen glynda like. Actively do smthng to defend cinder in this sort of way? she’s been pretty passivve abt letting cinder take the lead when theyre together but on her own shes thinking of all the contingencies to make sure winter cant find cinder and u know what. thats gay. what will u do for yr not-gf when yr talking to someone who would kick her ass in a hot second,

also im TAKING to grab choice lines here to comment upon but honestly this next section is SO GOOD that im rly struggling to find a line to encapsulate how much i am LOVING this convo. i cant say exactly WHY im loving it because again thats 👈😎👈 BUT KNOW THAT THIS IS VERY GOOD FOOD AND I AM ENJOYING IT. and im also enjoying this line a lot

Winter’s voice was decisive: “Professor, if you hang up on me, I am flying to your location—tonight.”

winter: if y’all dont shut the fuck up back there i am turning this car, city, and continent AROUND,

It was the same thing, over and over: people didn’t understand her and she didn’t understand them. It was an exercise in futility that only gave her grief. In the end, she gave up on trying to explain herself. She resigned to being wrong, to always being wrong, even when she knew she wasn’t.

OOF OKAY WHAT THE HELL IS UP W/ THIS FIC AND CALLOUTS. HUH??? ME BITCH!!! I FEEL THAT!! AND IT SUCKS,

/reads the next bit

oh are we donning our tinfoil hats? we’re donning our tinfoil hats.

It was so easy. Glynda didn’t stumble over her words even once; didn’t waver. She was built for doing harm. Her anger burned hot and clean; it excised all the hurt like a malignant tumor.

Maybe she really had learned something from Cinder—channeling her frustration, her guilt, her pain, all of it into anger like this was something Glynda was new to. But it felt good. She leaned into it, letting it take the reins; the distressing memories vanished like wisps of smoke, vaporized by the heat of her wrath.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS god this is. SO EXCITING. i also love it when ppl rub off one one another its my FAV thing in the WORLD and this anger is. WOO. this anger is. DANDY. its also a very short-term burst of pleasure glynda so enjoy that hollowed-out whoopsie feeling that i sure get when i Blow Up,

“She butchered my friend!” Winter snarled, the camera shaking as she slapped the desk. “She butchered my friend in the streets like he was cattle! And I have done everything in my power to help you! Everything! To keep her from doing the same to you, and you’ve blown me off or lied or—” Winter’s voice snagged. “And now you tell me—you accuse me—”

It was early evening in Umbraroot, but it must already be night in Atlas. The shadows revealed the unclean angles of Winter’s face: the bruises of exhaustion under her eyes, the lines of stress at the corners of her mouth.

im sorry im just copy-pasting wholesale at this point but OH this is GOOD. i cant rly explain. like. the difference-- because you’d think from the og version this is just a bit more flavouring right? its like getting a bit of hot sauce on yr chicken wings and yr like ‘okay it adds smthng but its not like a side meal’ BUT IT IS A SIDE MEAL this is like a whole basket of fuckin. cheese-baked fries. winter DESERVES this screentime she DESERVES to have presence in this fic and OH does she USE IT im LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Glynda wanted anger. She wanted fire and brimstone. She wanted a fight.

What she got was the glisten of tears on pale lashes. A hand covering Winter’s trembling mouth.

The ashy taste of remorse in her throat.

THERES THAT HOLLOWED-OUT WHOOPSIE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IT IS RIGHT ON TIME. its like CLOCKWORK,

She didn’t have anything. Nothing against that. The possibility that Winter might truly care what happened to her had been so insignificantly small and easy to trample. She had forgotten about the losses Winter shouldered the moment Cinder had whispered inheritance.

it’s just like clockwork,

also this chapter feels lengthy but maybe its just cause i got distracted with animal crossing so ill have to do a wordcount check at the end

/checks

no its lengthy this is a thicc one,

“I know,” Glynda said. “I know. I know how this sounds. But she’s the only person who makes me feel like—like I make sense.” In her mind, Glynda lay in the darkness of Cinder’s bedroom, watching the glaze of streetlights along her lips as she said you.

you,,,,,,,,, we,,,,,,,,,,,, our,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, its all that gay shit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Cinder Fall is a tremendous liar. She could convince you it is raining in Vacuo, given enough time. Two years ago, I was working on the Argus base, where I met her as a client; she told me she was a merchant seeking entrance into Atlas—she had all her documents in order, her entire persona set up, and she sold it perfectly. She was flawless—and all of it was fake. She gave me no reason to doubt her. She was—”

Winter cut herself off, abruptly. Then: “Once I was comfortable and safe, she burned down my office and murdered my friend.”

YES,,, SLOWLY THE LORE PIECES TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! winter is once bitten twice shy, but mayhaps we mean,,, once burnt,,,, twice shy,,,,,,,,,, hrmmmm,

Glynda told Winter everything.

OH MAN,,,, we’re really getting this messy fucking trio up in this bitch i am SO excited. i am THRILLED. here! we! go!!!!!!!!!! also i said it before but again im so glad winter gets to Be Here for this. sure this has nothing to do w/ her destiny or w/e but shes here now. shes in the uber. she waiting outside.

The dying potted plant Glynda had spotted last time on the back wall’s shelf had been replaced with a new one; this one’s leaves were beginning to shrivel at the ends.

dsfjhhkljsdf side note: is this like that scene in finding nemo where all the new fish see the niece and go ‘oh no we’re gonna die’ but instead its plants getting taken into winters office? they go ‘im sorry, mate, but once you go into her office, you come out TOTALLY dead,’

okay so this whole convo happened and if i try to pick one section ill end up picking it all AAAAAAAAAAAAAA im dying out here. WINTER BLEASE,,, BELIEVE THAT SOMETIMES CINDER CAN TELL A HALF-LIE. A SORTA-TRUTH. A SEMI-HEMI-DEMI HONESTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

How different would that mission have gone? How different would her life have been?

She found herself saying, “He had so many chances to tell me. Instead, he let me think I was reckless. That I was a danger to other people. I stopped working in teams. I didn’t have many people in my life to begin with, but afterwards was worse. He saw to it that he was all I had, and he let me think it was my fault.”

ROBLOXOOFNOISEDISTORTEDWITHDELAY.MP4

OOF!!!!!!! O O F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! honestly OOF that shit HURTS BITCH!!!!!!! thats BANANAS. WILD. im also loving (hating???) the increase of painful glynda lore and honestly everyone feels like they have So Much More that builds them up and im THRIVING off it. im also suffering for it.

With the video feed closed, Glynda could see she had new notifications. Missed calls. From Cinder.

Glynda’s stomach lurched. She stowed her Scroll before she could think about them.

At the mouth of the alley, she could see the shape of Cinder’s apartment in the distance. She stood there for a long time, staring, uncertain what to do with her hands, unsure what to do with her heart. Her jaw flexed. She remembered the tears on Winter’s lashes. The friend she’d lost.

Glynda took her first step toward the apartment.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and so the soft domestic shit ends. but nowhere near as explosively as id thought???????? HUH. H U H. must b because we’re gearing up for smthng honk honk honk

ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. this chap was SO good its astonishing (despite the [several] times i got distracted by animal crossing rip me). WINTER!!!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant believe this disaster trio is coming together. also cant wait for glynda to tell cinder the shit she just pulled. oh no,

(also the wordcount was 5,931. just in case u were curious)

[the-nazario-chug]

The Shallow

Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoy this! I've been wanting to make a Raleigh fic forever lol I'm actually really proud how this turned out, which does not happen often.

Summary: Leraine Young, AKA Raine, has returned to the Madison Square Garden. This time not as the opening act, but the act. However, her notorious fake-ex crashes the party (in the best way).

Pairing: Raleigh Carrera (M) x MC (Leraine Young)

Word Count: +2,100

Disclaimer: Pixelberry owns Platinum and Raleigh Carrera. A Star Is Born and all the rights belong to Warner Bros. Pictures.

The energy of the concert hall is on fire. When a crowd of twenty thousand people is stomping their feet and chanting her name like she just won the world series, it's hard not to get nervous. And excited. Also nauseous.

With that in mind, she should try not to puke on stage in front of thousands of her fans, a jumbo-tron, and just about the entirety of the American press.

So no pressure, as usual.

Raine! Raine! Raine! Raine!

Needless to say Zadie and her team had gone all out for this show. Raine is all dolled up in a gorgeous purple and blue gradient leotard, covered in sparkling rhinestones and flashy tassels, complemented with rhinestone fringe ankle-boots. Her black wavy hair dyed with a dark red ombre and her makeup neutral with a dark lip (though with a sprinkling of blue eye-shadow glitter). She's clutching Raleigh's guitar which he had given to her the day they met, something she now considers her good-luck charm when the man himself isn't present. (it also goes well with her outfit, which is a plus.)

Speaking of her handsome as sin, totally not fake ex-boyfriend, he did say he'd be here to send her off tonight. Raine's seen hide nor hair of him, but she didn't want to take it personally. If he’s busy she knew they could meet up later and celebrate. Unfortunately, it is a sacrifice commonly made in their line of work, so they both tried their damnedest to not let it get between them.

As Raine tries to sneak a peek through the curtains, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns (definitely hoping for it to be Raleigh) to see Fiona grinning at her. Looking suspiciously like the cat that just caught the canary.

"There's been a change of plans. Open with your rendition of 'Shallow' from A Star Is Born. It'll be our little announcement for your cameo in the movie."

This is a little odd, it wasn't often Fiona changed plans last minute. It didn't really make sense how eager her manager looked either as she was hardly easy to please.

It also happened that song was supposed to be a duet.

Though as the cheers rose to a roar, the thought was swept from Raine's mind. It wasn't so unusual to go solo for a duet, and she has a long performance to ready herself for. So, she takes deep breaths as Fiona gives her a thumbs up and hurries off to the wings.

Despite the cacophony out on the stage, Raine can still hear the echo of her heels beat in sync with her thumping heart. And when she grins wide and gives a cheery wave, they become even louder than she thought possible. Raine laughs in delight.

The lights blare down and she can hardly see a face in the stadium.

"What's up MSG! How are we feeling tonight?" Raine yelled into her microphone as she yanked it from the stand, and turned it to the screams from the audience.

"I'm thrilled to be here for all of you. I know you're as hyped as I am for the new movie 'A Star Is Born' coming out this fall. So tonight I'm happy to start off with the premiere hit 'Shallow' as the cherry on the cake! I hope you all enjoy!"

In the excitement, Raine adjusts her guitar and readies herself to strum the melody. A lilting acoustic intro filters through the speakers.

Only thing is, Raine hadn't started playing yet.

Her chest constricts as the cheers rise again in intensity. In the din, Raine can hear footsteps against the floor of the stage, and when she turns she can't hide the way her jaw drops.

"Tell me somethin' girl,"

Raleigh is sauntering towards her, all bow-legged swagger and strumming his own guitar. He doesn't even bother to keep that cocky smirk off his face 'cause he knows he got her good.

"Are you happy in this modern world? 

Or do you need more?"

Looking up at her through his lashes, eyes bright and his hair tousled to perfection. He's wearing a tank top with a suspiciously familiar rhinestone design and how dare you level tight denim jeans. Suddenly her heart is racing for an entirely different reason than just the thrill of performing. This had been planned since the start and she was none the wiser. Last minute change of plans, her ass.

Raine decides not to bother getting lost in all the details though. Any surprise that includes her man serenading her while looking fine as hell, she isn't going to complain about.

"Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for? 

I'm fallin'"

He was close now, real close. The soft timbre of his voice rolling over her in waves, tempting Raine to close her eyes and appreciate the soothing tones. The only thing stopping her is Raleigh's eyes, piercing hers with an intense honesty and longing she had only recently gotten to see in earnest. A gaze she was starting to adore. Her own stare, meanwhile, wanders down to his arms that are looking too good in that top, the muscles tensing with a light sheen of sweat reflected from the packed stadium and lights. She'd be embarrassed from her ogling, if his survey of her in return wasn't as shameless.

And as sure as Raine is that they are not supposed to be seen together like this in public, she should have guessed that Raleigh would be this ostentatious while breaking that rule.

"In all the good times I find myself longin',

For change,

And in the bad times I fear myself."

While Raleigh continued plucking the instrumental, Raine finally registered some fans talking in her periphery.

"Oh my god, didn't they break up?"

"He's trying to win her over! That's so romantic!"

"They still look so good together, are they gonna start dating again?"

Taking another breath in, Raine knows her part was coming up. So she gives into her temptation and takes a step closer to him. Close enough that she can feel the heat of his breath against her cheek. She raises the mic between them.

"Tell me somethin' boy,

Are you tired of tryin' to fill that void?

Or do you need more?

Ain't it hard keepin' it so hardcore?"

Filling the space between them with her voice, she thought about how fitting this is for them. Though she didn't doubt it was intentional. Now she understood why Fiona would have this change of heart, allowing them to be seen like this. It was as dramatic as their faux break-up for sure. Generating hype for her upcoming cameo and therefore, her royalties.

But Raine didn't care about that. All she cares about is the man in front of her. The spotlight is shining a halo around his perfect-messy hair, and she finds herself wanting to run her fingers through it. For a brief moment, she wonders if her urge would give their game away somehow. (Not that she already had with that lean in.)

Screw it. Raleigh can surprise Raine at her own concert, she's allowed to have some surprises up her rhinestone encrusted sleeves too.

"I'm fallin'," As Raine continues the chorus, she reaches up strokes her free hand through his dark locks. She holds in her own giddiness while Raine swears she can hear squeals erupt from the crowd, but Raleigh is all she wants to keep her attention on. A surge of satisfaction and affection grows in her chest when she sees the shivers that course through him, and how his eyelids flutter in pleasure. The almost inaudible rumble from Raleigh's chest that she can feel from their short distance apart. Pride that she's the one who can do this to him.

"In all the good times I find myself lo-ongin'

For change," Her hand drifts from his hair to his ear, and cheek. Restraining a shiver of her own as her thumb rubs the stubble along his jawline, then glides to his mouth and grazes his bottom lip. Raleigh's eyes are dark and the electricity of the connection between them sparks with vigor. God, she wants to kiss this man already.

All good things to those who wait, she decides, especially when Raleigh Carrera is concerned.

"And in the bad times, I fear myself-"

Her voice echoes throughout the Garden, and as Raine reaches up again to brush a stray lock of hair from his brow, it feels like they're the only two in the world. In the silence of thousands holding their breath, and the air crackling with unspoken tension, she's never felt so connected to a single person.

In that moment they both grin, their hearts zinging with that knowledge. Raine tilts her head back slightly and serenades the hell out of her beau. When her belting voice reverberates, the tension cracks and their fans cheer unabashed again.

"I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in

I'll never meet the ground!

Crash the surface, where they can't hurt us, we're far from the shallow now."

High off the thrill of the stage, and each other, Raine and Raleigh lean closer and sing together. Practically nose to nose, Raine can hear the cheeky intrusive thought in the back of her mind that he is so it for her, now.

"We're far from the shallow now…"

As the crowd's cheers reach their peak again, they both stay in each others space. For a second it feels like they're in their own little bubble again, like no one could hear them.

Until Raleigh mutters something that is very much heard by everyone.

"Be my girl, Leraine."

Raine's eyes dart to his, to find him already looking up at her with a soft smile.

"Raleigh… ?" Right now that's all she can squeak out, she knows he's aware how close the mic is to their faces. And their audience is almost unnervingly silent. Raine supposed some part of her knew they'd get back together in public after the concert but she wasn't expecting it to be so quick.

He smiles patiently, and steps back before going down on one knee. Thousands of voices gasp and mutter amongst themselves. But Raleigh's only looking at her.

"I know I messed up big time, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. I never meant to hurt you. And I never expected how much that would hurt me. 'Cause you make me want something real, Leraine. You make me want to be real. What's between us is like nothing I've ever known before, and I was an idiot for not seeing that sooner. Do you wanna give this another chance?" Raleigh's voice is soft but sure, like he's been waiting to let all of that out forever.

Some of it is for show, Raine isn't naive enough to think otherwise. So no one suspects their first go around was fake. But what Raine does know is his feelings are real and just for her. What the public knew didn't matter as long as she had Raleigh Carrera in her life.

Pulse hammering, Raine smiles and whispers into the world.

"Yeah, I'd honestly love that."

Raleigh grins and surges up to meet her, and all of the sudden he's holding and kissing her finally without anymore waiting necessary. And all she can think is woah. Their guitars and the microphone who knows where now. Hopefully not smashed on the ground.

Still, she doesn't regret what just happened in the slightest.

In the elated screaming around them, Raleigh mutters against her lips, "I'm totally gonna spin you."

"What? You are not-!"

He's got that shit eating grin on that she knows means, I've got a great idea everyone else knows is bad but none of you can stop me.

"Yup, I'm doing it. This is happening."

"Raleigh, no it's-!! Auh!"

Even with her protests, she's still laughing when Raleigh lifts her by her thighs and spins her on the stage. Much to the delight of everyone in attendance.

When they're both out of breath and Raleigh's put her back in his arms, the words he whispers in her ear Raine knows are meant for her alone.

"I'm glad I've got you keeping me honest, love."

Lights flash around them as he keeps holding her close, no doubt the paparazzi and fans alike capturing every moment. And just like the song from their impromptu duet Raine can see with clarity how crazy her life has now become. How deep they both are in this sea of stardom.

Well, so long as Raleigh’s there with her, she can’t bring herself to mind.

[hunscafe]

Highschool w/ secret admirer Seunghun:

seunghun is a pretty decent student

he wasn’t an overachiever or anything but he knew a lot and more than enough to be able to tutor others (if he felt like it)

his friends byounggon + junkyu *deep sigh* usually use seunghun as their private tutor

so the very first time you saw seunghun was in the library !!

he was sitting in the brightest corner right below the large windows reading the biggest book!

seriously, this book looked like a dictionary

but! you don’t actually notice him until your friend whispers into your ear “the guy behind us is kinda hot”

and you can’t even hear the chick because she’s giggling out words half of the time

so you’re like: ( •᷄ὤ•᷅)? huh?

“The Dude Behind Us Is Hot” she says but this time it’s accidentally MUCH louder. in fact it’s audible to everyone around you.

including seunghun.

seunghun chokes hearing that then plays it off by awkwardly fake coughing

“oh oops that was loud”

you: (¬_¬)

you turn your head to take a quick glance at him and WOW he really is kinda hot

you: “DANG he IS hot”

just imagine him in his cute lil school uniform reading this huge book omg ):

with that sun shining right on him like an angel while he holds that big book that makes him look So Intellectual

the next week, you come to learn that seunghun is actually in your sociology class :o gasp!

but you could never snatch a seat next to him because he’s always sitting next to his friends ( ง ᵒ̌皿ᵒ̌)ง⁼³₌₃

days and days pass and you’ve been admiring him from afar all these days

seunghun found you kinda cute

he caught you taking quick glances at him !!

like when you pretend to fix your makeup w/ your mirror but you’re actually using it to look at seunghun who sits behind you

stupid head! don’t you know mirrors reflect light? you keep shining light in his eyes you dummie!!

he just laughs to himself and thinks about how cute you are tryna be subtle like that

he’s usually pretty chill and smiles very softly when he sees you around

one day when you’re studying in the library, he choses to sit right in front of you

and you look around like ?? there are dozens of other chairs but okay??

“uhh..th-the AC blows best right under here though”

seunghun in his mind: why…did i say THAT? out of all the things i could have said …

his ears are turning red!

you: (*’-’*) uh okay ig

but on the inside you’re like “the hot guy is sitting in front of me!”

somehow instead of being productive, you guys just start talking. you guys really hit it off and easily bounce off one another

you guys are trying to keep it down but y’all still get hushed at smh!

like the gentleman he is, he ends up walking you home

and he does this every day except for the days when either of you are engaged in after school activities

seunghun is in the cooking club

and he leaves you a boxed lunch, which he made himself, in your locker along w/ a note

“p.s. : i think ur kinda hot too. enjoy this bento box! it’s made w/ love and lots of MSG (jk ab the msg part) xx, s”

and you’re laughing at this but you’re thinking “who is this trying to poison me?” but then you begin to think “could i perhaps…have a secret admirer?”

and when you register the “kinda hot too” part, you’re like :o NOOOOOO NOT HUN! NO WAY!!

you usually hang out with seunghun’s group of friends when it’s time for gym

seunghun is really good at every sport

he never throws the ball at you in dodge ball though because how could he ?? hit the girl he has the fattest crush on ?

he’s super competitive and is just trying to impress you with his skills

but he’s hot when he gets competitive

and every time it’s time to run track, he’s usually one of the first to finish but he runs right next to you instead (‘:

and he’s thinking “she’s such a slow runner. it’s so cute!”

but all you’re thinking is “i’m literally sweating so much right now PLEASE GO AWAY”

and when you guys are outside, he stands in a position to where he blocks the sun from you (‘:

and oh, even though you see seunghun most days, you don’t bring up the boxed lunches much because you weren’t sure what his intentions were. kindness ? or to hint at something?

until his loudmouth friends expose him! well, not explicitly but their constant questions and teasing makes it obvious. you’re no dummie!

“Y/N we never get to play any basketball with seunghun because he’s always walking you home”

“when will seunghun just ask you out Y/N?”

“ew guys i don’t like seunghun like that!!”

“stop lying! who wouldn’t like seunghun like that Y/N?? he is attractive, smart, and he can sing!”

seunghun brings you boxed lunch once every week and he always leaves cute lil notes

“make sure to eat well and take care of yourself!”

“here’s some banana milk for hydration”

it’s midterms week so here’s a pastry for good luck … Y/N fighting! (:”

seunghun’s whipped! but he always hesitates to confess when he’s with you ):

gosh you can’t tell but you make him so nervous! his heart beats fast when he’s w/ you

but you guys have come to be good friends so you guys are relatively comfortable with each other despite the fact that his insides are screaming when he’s with you

he’s scared of being in the library with you because he’s afraid you might actually hear his abnormally fast heartbeat

seunghun likes to pass notes to you in class and sit next to you during lunch and give you his water bottle after gym

when he notices you’re not eating, he’ll be all (ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ) “Y/N ?! why aren’t you eating?! here! say ahhh!” *puts steak in your mouth* (inspired by his instalive)

seunghun is kind of annoying though because he always asks you for a pencil or a pen or an eraser lol

sometimes he texts you things like “have you studied yet” “make sure to drink tea tomorrow morning! we have an exam!” “i saw you had trouble understanding this topic today … here’s a video to help you understand it better!”

seunghun is really caring and sweet towards you and you just want to kiss him all the time!! so you’re frustrated ):

one day during gym, you all had to play frisbee! byounggon recruited seunghun and you!

byounggon knows he can’t win if seunghun has to go against you because he’ll be too nice on you

and (now don’t hate me on this cliche ok) this time, you were really going to try!! for the team!!! and you actually got the team two winning points!

everyone on the team is cheering! they’re so happy you got them a win!

seunghun is so happy [for you]

and he just runs over to you and gives you a tiny high five!

but then can’t help but place his hands on your sweaty cheeks and bend down to kiss you

(๑>ᴗ<๑)

and now everyone’s screaming even louder!! because the schools most anticipated couple! is! kissing!

you can literally feel his smile against your lips

“yeah seunghun, that was pretty hot” ´͈ ᵕ `͈

[radio-rhapsody]

BoRhap!Grease Chapter 1

Pairing: Ben Hardy x OC

Summary: Ben Hardy and Diane Rowe meet over the summer and have a summer fling. By the time school rolls around, Diane is supposed to move back to Australia. What happens when she ends up staying? (To put it simple: The movie Grease but with BoRhap)

Prologue and Cast

Rydell High, First Day of School

“Aw look, a home made lunch!” James teased his friend, stealing the sandwich out of Joe’s hands before tossing it over Joe’s head to Rami.

 “More like a rock! I can’t believe you made your mom wake up and make this for you!” Rami joined James immediately, snickering as Joe tried to grab it from him.

 “Oh shut up, my mom does it every year by choice.” Once Joe finally got his sandwich back, he noticed Gwilym in the distance. “Hey, there’s Gwilym!”

 Him and the other two boys ran over to the taller guy, immediately asking where he was over the time off from school.

 “What? Are you my mother now or somethin’?” Gwilym asked sarcastically before answering their question. “I was working up at the super-mart — more than you guys can say. I’m saving up for a car.”

 Gwilym’s three followers’ reactions were too amazed, James speaking up after. “You want to know what I did over break?”

 Gwilym immediately said no before Joe noticed Ben in the distance talking to some chicks. “Ben!”

 Ben’s head turned to the group, his cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth. All the boys started to yell for their friend, causing him to walk over, putting out his cigarette in the process.

 Ben barely got to greet them before they asked about the girls he was talking to. “Nah, just the same chicks everyone has made with.”

 “How’d you spend your summer?” Rami asked immediately after Ben answered their first question.

 “At the beach.”

 “Girls hanging around you?”

 “Like you would know, Joe, the only thing that hangs around you are flies.” “Shut up, Grey.”

 Gwilym stopped the two from arguing more by asking Ben another question. “How was the action?”

  “Oh, it was great!” Ben grinned. “Met this one cool chick.”

 “You mean she puts out?” Joe smirked, nudging Ben.

 “Is that all that goes on in your mind?” Ben asked, raising his eyebrows at him.

 “Freakin’ a!” Joe exclaimed in response as they entered the school.

“Do I look ok Lucy?” Diane asked, smoothing out her skirt.  “You look wonderful, Diane.” Lucy responded, giving a reassuring smile.  “I’m terrified.”  “You will be fine. And you will love Rydell.”  “I loved my school back home.” Diane fiddled with her books. “I wish I was home right now — but I guess being heartbroken isn’t new to me.”  “Why?” Lucy immediately questioned then continues in a more joking tone. “You got psoriasis?” “Here we are again, girls!” Maxine faked a smile as her, Priya, and Cheryl walked to the school.  “But now we are seniors!” Cheryl grinned.  “And we are gonna rule the school!” Maxine giggled along with her friends as they joked around.  “Priya, don’t make people think we’re adolescent!” “We are adolescent!” “Don’t have to show it off so much.”  “Ok, girls, let’s go get ‘em!” Maxine smirked as they walked into the school. Staff hurried in and out of the main office, most complaining about not being able to find something or having a student they dislike again as Diane entered.  “Uh, hi, I’m new here, I don’t know where to go.” Diane said awkwardly.  “Oh, well welcome to Rydell!” Principal Mercury smiled, handing Diane some papers and the smallest pencil ever. Diane nodded as a thank and sat down to start filling them out. “Goddammit, I don’t think any teacher I have this year hasn’t failed me!” Joe complained, looking through his schedule.  “If you aren’t careful, you will be in Mercury’s office again.” Rami snickered.  “Yeah? Well he is gonna wish he’s never seen me. I’m not taking any of his shit.” Joe said, strolling a little ahead of the others. “I don’t take no shit from nobody!”  At perfect timing, Principal Mercury walked out. “Joe.” Joe spun around, eyes going wide as he saw the principal. “Aren’t you supposed to be in home room?”  “I was just going for a walk.”  “That’s not a way to start a semester.” Joe muttered something under his breath. “Maybe a session of banging erasers will put you back on track.”  “Yes sir.”  “Well are you going to just stand there?”  “No sir — I mean yes sir — I mean —“  “Which is it?”  “No sir.”   “Then go.”  Ben strolled up to Joe as Principal Mercury went back into the office. “Sure glad you didn’t take any of his shit, that woulda gone bad.”  The boys laughed at the situation, mocking Joe as they headed to first period. They got to their home rooms just before the bell rang and announcements started.  Meanwhile, Diane barged into her class mid announcements, causing all eyes on her.

Tag list: @i-padfootblack-things @lots-of-pretty-women (msg me or send an ask to be put on the ask list!)

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON 1NFERNO’S LEAD VOCAL, LEAD DANCE JANG WOOSUNG...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 21 DEBUT AGE: 18 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: MSG SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): Meongddaenam (멍때남) - short for 멍 때리는 남자 (zone out man), a slang coined by his fans to mean a guy who’s so good looking you zone out and stare at him; also used to tease Woosung for his habit of zoning out. Golden Boy - as he gets a lot of screentime, fans claim that he’s being favoured by the company. His fans call him it to mean that he’s skilled and talented at everything, while his antis use it to mock him, attributing his success to MSG giving him more screen time. INSPIRATION: Woosung has always loved dance. There is nothing he would rather do other than dance— it’s been his dream for as long as he could remember. Originally, Woosung wanted to be a contemporary dancer, the emotional and technical movements catching his interest. However, as a teenager, he decided to branch out and discovered a love for hip hop. He got scouted by chance, and decided to try branching out some more. When he discovered his love for singing, his goal switched from contemporary dance to being an idol, pouring all of his efforts into training until he was able to debut. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Speaks fluent English

Studied ballet, modern and contemporary dance until he became a trainee

Knows how to do makeup from his time as a competitive dancer

NOTABLE FACTS:

His mother was born and raised in the US and works as a Korean-English translator, so he speaks English fluently with her side of the family despite living in Korea his whole life

Has two younger half sisters from his dad

Studied at SOPA, but did not continue on to university

Joined a hip hop dance academy and was scouted out of pure luck only two months after joining

Has an interest in choreographing, but is only comfortable with contemporary routines at this point

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Woosung really wants to improve his skills, focusing on honing and refining them. As the lead dancer in a performance heavy group, he feels a lot of pressure to look good onstage. While he is a skilled dancer, the majority of his training is in a completely different area, and he still feels that his movement quality doesn’t quite fit 1nferno’s concept, that he lacks the power and strength in his movements necessary for their choreography. He also wants to take his vocals to a higher level, as he feels like the difference between himself and their main vocal is a really significant one. He knows he has the charisma and presence to warrant a large amount of screen time, but he wants his skills to match.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

Woosung loves performing, but the reason why he’s in the idol industry is for the money. His mother did absolutely everything for him growing up, broke the bank trying to provide the best of the best for her son. He wants to be able to pay her back, buy her a nice house and let her live comfortably. Once he hits that point, he plans on stepping back from the idol industry quietly, simply by not renewing his contract at the next renewal opportunity. After that, he plans to devote himself to dance entirely, perhaps as a choreographer with MSG or a teacher at his own studio.

IDOL IMAGE

On stage, Woosung is a captivating performer. Explosive energy and charisma, a coordinated dancer and stable vocalist, with a cute yet handsome visual to boot. He’s magnet on stage, someone who fans’ eyes are drawn to despite not being the best dancer or vocal in the group. He can handle the experimental concepts that MSG throws at 1nferno and is able to take most of the intense concepts in stride, finding it not terribly difficult to get into a character and convey the appropriate image onstage.

Offstage, however, Woosung is incredibly different. Having a naturally meek, introverted, and insecure personality, he tends on the quieter side during interviews, lives, and other social situations, finding it hard to talk and share his opinions. MSG pushes him as a chic, artistic personality, capitalizing on his contemporary dance training as a testament to his artistry and emotionality. It’s an easy role for Woosung to play, as someone who is much more comfortable staying quiet regardless of his image. During public appearances, he tends to let the stronger personalities in the group take over, chiming in rarely and even then, it’s usually only when he’s directly referred to or asked a question. Some fans complain about this behaviour, calling him cold and distant from the other members of the group, but his dedicated fans claim it’s because of his emotive side, reasoning that he’s one to read the situation and observe in order to match the others involved, rather than take charge of things.

When Woosung does speak, he’s surprisingly insightful despite his shyness, a delight to both fans and the company. He’s the type to consider unusual perspectives, without being strange enough to be labelled as a 4D personality. He’s thoughtful and considerate, easily able to gauge the needs of others around him. He does have his spacey moments, though, tending to get lost in thought. Thankfully, it’s more endearing than frustrating, and is marketed as simply another aspect of his emotionally-tuned personality.

IDOL HISTORY

1998.

Jang Woosung has always been a boy caught between two worlds, even from birth. He is born on January 26, 1998 to a Korean father and a Korean-American mother, and given two names— Woosung, a Korean name given by his father, and William, an English name given by his mother. Neither quite fit, each one missing a component of the other, and as Woosung grows up, he comes to resent them both. His English name as a target of ridicule, the label of gyopo, his mother’s roots in America. His Korean name as a cover up, trying to conceal the other half of him; but also, as a constant reminder of a father who left him, who gives him that name before leaving when Woosung is less than six months old. His mother has already established herself in Korea, has already planned a life here for her son, so despite being alone, she stays, intent on raising her son like she had planned, just without Woosung’s father. And so she does, the two of them in a tiny apartment in Ilsan, an infant Woosung crying for a father he wouldn’t even remember.

2001.

There’s no reason for Woosung to attend nursery school. His mother’s job as a freelance translator means she can work from home, balancing her responsibilities for work and responsibilities as a mom. They don’t go out much, simply stay safe in their own little world. Woosung’s mom is all he needs, and his mother is happy to provide. That is, until Woosung turns three, and his mother takes him to America to meet his grandparents. Look at him, Mia, they tell Woosung’s mother. He never leaves your side. He doesn’t talk to his cousins. He hardly plays at all. He keeps to himself too much. He doesn’t know how to socialize. What kind of adult will William be if he doesn’t learn how to act as a child?

And they’re right. Woosung is withdrawn, looks at others with fear in his eyes, holds onto his mother’s skirt wherever they go. So, as soon as she gets back to Korea, she enrols him in the first activity she can find that will take three year olds— a ballet class at a studio just a fifteen minute bus ride away. Woosung cries during the first class. He cries during the second. He clings to his mother and begs her not to go. She hushes him, gives him a kiss on the cheek, tells him that if he goes to the class, tries his best, acts like a good boy, they’ll get ice cream later. Isn’t that nice, Will? Wouldn’t you like that?

This is where everything begins.

2003.

Woosung excels in his ballet class. He takes it very seriously, practices at home, hums the complex classical melodies even when class has long ended. He doesn’t become the most talkative kid in the class, not by a long shot, still insecure and devastatingly shy, but he comes out of his shell a bit, shares short sentences with a few of the other kids in his class before and after their lessons. I want to be a dancer, he tells his mom, and he’s good enough, loves it so much that she kisses his head and says of course, Will, whatever you love to do is something worth doing.

But then, Woosung starts school, and the bullying begins. In his dance classes, the other children were too young to understand what it meant when Woosung spoke another language with his mother, and they spent too little time with him to be bothered by it. The children at school, however, understand the difference. They realize that Woosung is different because he speaks a language that isn’t Korean with his mother, because the food he eats for lunch is a bit different from theirs, because he has two different names on his report. So they tease him, pick on him, call him a foreigner, a gyopo, a fake Korean. Woosung’s personality doesn’t help him either, his shyness and lack of interest in anything other than dance making him an easy target. It never progresses beyond name-calling, but it hurts just the same, presses down on Woosung until he withdraws entirely, speaks to hardly anyone. It’s then that he vows to never use his English name again.

2007.

It’s not until Woosung is nearly ten years old that he meets his father again. They never talks about him much, Woosung and his mother, and he would never visit— he lives far from us, Will, it’s hard to get here from Busan. Woosung was never able to forget him, though, reminded of his father’s existence by the cards and small pockets of money that double as birthday gifts and seollal presents. But one November day, when Woosung gets home from school, his mother tells him (in a voice so quiet, nearly sad, your father wants to visit you, William) and Woosung stops.

His father is tall, intimidating, dressed in a suit when he drives up to meet Woosung. (Even that detail is strange to Woosung— his mother has never had a car.) He takes Woosung for dinner, to a restaurant with food that Woosung doesn’t like but chokes down anyways because he’s scared of seeming impolite. He finds out he has sisters— two of them, aged five and two— that he’s never met or heard of before. Woosung, talking for the first time since his father picked him up, asks how they can be his sisters if they don’t have the same mom. His father doesn’t answer, takes him home twenty minutes later.

Back inside his house, the small apartment he shares with his mother, he feels like he’s back in the safe zone. But there is no safe zone anymore, the influence of another world with his father weighing on Woosung even when he’s alone with his mother. And so he withdraws into himself even further, stumbling along the line between two contrasting worlds that he must exist in at the same time.

2011.

Woosung dances every day, now. He’s moved on from ballet, branching out into contemporary, modern, other styles of dance that make use of his lithe frame and flexibility. He finishes school each day and goes straight to practice, logging long hours at the studio, coming home well past sundown and still slaving over his homework. He doesn’t do great in school, but his mother keeps on him, tells him it’s good to have a backup, Will, what if you get injured and you have to stop dancing? It’s a thought that scares him immensely, but he trusts his mother, so he tries his best, forces himself to keep going, stays up well into the night just to keep his head above the water.

But the lessons are getting expensive now, the older Woosung gets and the harder he pushes himself. He starts competing— starts winning, bits of money here and there, small scholarships to workshops— but the costs rack up. His mother is alone, just her and Woosung, and while his dad visits sometimes, he never provides. So it gets harder to put food on the table, harder to pay the bills, and the night that he notices his mother not eating simply because there isn’t enough food, Woosung breaks.

For the first time in his life, Woosung reaches out to his father. It’s not like Woosung has never contacted him before— since Woosung met him four years ago, he makes sure to message him on important days to wish him well, like his father’s birthday, or Parent’s Day. He’s a good son, polite, and he never asks for anything, never asked until that day, when he meets up with his father and asks him for money.

His father doesn’t agree. His father denies him vehemently, once he finds out what the money is for. He’s fuming, yells at Woosung, I already have two other kids to provide for, and you have the audacity to ask me for money for a hobby? For ballet? I won’t support something gay like that.

It’s the first time Woosung hears the word gay like that— used to describe something he loves so dearly, curled up into the seat of his father’s car, his head down and tears in his eyes. He’s heard it snickered behind his back in school, as he got older and the bullying had turned from shouts and jeers to things more subtle. I heard he dances ballet. And he’s never had a crush on anyone, he’s never even talked to any of the girls in our grade. Do you think he’s gay? It still hurt, a lot, his heart aching at each comment, but it was easy enough to tune out, used to it after eight years of snide comments and insults— but this is the first time he hears it so directly. He doesn’t realize why it would be a bad thing, his mother always telling him gently it’s fine to like what you like, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone. But from his father, it sounds bad. It sounds wrong. Woosung doesn’t even know what he likes yet, doesn’t know if he’s gay or not, but it plants the seed then— he can’t be gay, not if he wants to be loved.

Woosung goes home and cries, locks himself in his room, presses his face into his pillow and tries not to make himself as small as possible in hopes that he might disappear. He deliberates it for days, stays up all night thinking. The thought of quitting is unbearable, but there’s no way he can let his mom keep doing this to pay for his dance. After a few days, an idea comes to him, risky yet seductive.

If I get accepted into a good company for my dance, will you help mom pay for it? He texts his dad, too scared to ask him to his face after last time.

His dad agrees.

2012.

Woosung gets scouted less than three months later.

He’d cut out his ballet classes, cut out modern and contemporary, switched to something that people would be interested in him for. Something that people wouldn’t call him gay for. He joins a hip hop academy, fills his time outside of school with that. He learns the basics voraciously, dedicating every second of his time to be able to improve as fast as possible. He doesn’t have the power and swagger that the other dancers have, but he’s toned, coordinated, and expresses feelings well onstage, uses all of it to his advantage to put on a good performance. He tries his best to fit in, to not draw any criticisms, feigns confidence like it’s his job. Two months after he joins his academy, they put on a public performance, and someone in a suit approaches him as he leaves the venue. I work for an entertainment company, they tell him, but Woosung doesn’t hear anything, only sees the MSG on the business card they hand him. We’re looking for new trainees right now for an idol group. You should audition.

Woosung does. He goes to the first audition he can make it to, forks out the little bit of money he has saved to travel to Seoul for it. A week later, his name is on the contract.

2015.

Trainee life is exhausting. As much as Woosung wanted to leave school, dedicate every minute of his life to dance and performance, his mother and the company wouldn’t let it happen. He enrols in SOPA with the companies help, in the Department of Practical Dance, goes to school and study only to train into the wee hours of the morning. He moves into the dorms, away from his mom— as much as it breaks his heart, going between Ilsan and Seoul every day on top of his already intense schedule just wasn’t feasible. Woosung never takes it easy on himself, always pushing himself as much as he can, working as hard as he can. He’s self-critical, incredibly so, uses every second he can in the studios and practices until his body is screaming at him. It seems to pay off, getting him noticed by the company. He doesn’t rank too high in his evaluations, maybe a bit above average, but he gets compliments from his coaches, trainers, teachers. He doesn’t dare take any of it for granted, though; he’s seen it happen, talented trainees letting the praise go to their head, getting cocky, getting comfortable, and in the end, getting dropped from the company. He makes sure he’s always consistent, always hungry, searching to be better. Woosung doesn’t pay much attention to the other trainees, never really makes friends— it’s not like that’s something he’s ever been in the habit of anyways, after how his school life turned out. The cutthroat nature of the trainee industry makes it harder on him too, because the comments turn from general meanness to picking on the parts of himself he has confidence in. They pick on his dancing, about how he lacks power, how he’s too soft in his movements, how he stands out too much that he’ll never fit into a group. The comments break him down even more, tear his confidence to pieces. He doesn’t let it destroy him though, and he doesn’t back out— he’s come too far to quit now, and besides, what would his mother and father think? So woosung just does what he’s always done— keeps his head down, his mouth shut, and works until he can’t anymore.

Then at the end of 2015, right before Woosung is about to go home for the holidays, he’s called for a meeting with five other boys and told they’ll debut. Management explains the concept to them— experimental, powerful, conceptual. It doesn’t seem like it’s anything Woosung will fit into at all, especially when he’s given the label of lead dancer and lead vocal. He doesn’t have the strength behind his voice, the power in his movements to carry such a title. But the company assures him, all smiles, hands on his shoulders, you don’t need to worry, Woosung, you’re handsome onstage. It clicks then, why he’s gotten as far as he has, why the company always seemed to be a bit softer on him. It wasn’t because of his talent, because of his hard work— even though he’s a good dancer and a decent singer, what the company wanted him for was his looks. Everything feels fake now, the compliments, the encouragements, all the work he put in discounted. It feels like a weight on his shoulders, another thing crushing down on him. He resents himself for it, resents not being able to get by on his talent alone, resents the company having to lean into his looks to justify putting him into the group. And yet, months later, despite everything, he debuts.

2019.

Woosung has never had a crush. Never had a true friend, someone his age that he could talk to. Never had a goal other than dance. Never had an urge to open his mouth and speak his mind. But now, things are changing. Woosung has a couple people that he’s comfortable with being around, people who he trusts not to tear him down at the first chance they get. They’re few and far between, his friends, but at least they exist. People still intimidate him, strong, aggressive personalities easily overpowering him, and he’s still devastatingly shy, but he wants to work on it, wants to be able to open up more, be able to show himself in the hopes that people will like him. He has a crush now, maybe. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have a crush, but he thinks this might be it— the heart fluttering, cheek reddening feeling whenever that certain someone is around. He doesn’t think anything will come of it— who would want to date someone like him, twenty-one years old with absolutely no experience— but it’s there. (He’s not gay though. Or, he doesn’t think he’s gay. He can’t be gay, not after what his dad said to him.) He has fans, people who like him, hears good things about himself. They like his English, find him relatable, coo over him, find out his English name, call him Will without it twisting his stomach in the same way. There’s not as much direct bullying anymore, but Woosung is so used to it now, feeling like he’s being criticized for everything he does, that he finds himself being hard on himself. Late nights spent crying in the practice rooms, his body aching so much that it’s hard to get off the ground. He wants to snap out of it, but it’s hard— especially when he sees comments online, fans pitting the members against each other, pointing out how he lacks compared to the main vocal and main dancer. But he’s trying— really, he is— and maybe, one day, he’ll feel good enough.

[frederick-thecatweasel]

i just turned 20 and i have no idea what the fuck i’m doing. i deactivated both my facebook accounts earlier. i always do when i go emo but it never lasts. but this time i hope it might. i’m not so emo as much as i’m just done. i need the distance. i need so much distance from everyone i’ve been surrounding myself with. 

i was so caught up in how ‘it’s different now’, it’s not the same people or the same extreme fucked up shit or the same lifestyle from when i was 16/17, these people might be trash but not scum like that, that i missed the fact that i’m in exactly the same place as i was before. same same but different. everyone’s their own shade of fucking messy.

i think i spent so much time in that fucked up place. so much time of my life where everybody i was surrounded by, all my best friends, anyone i knew.. was just on meth. in and out of prison, fighting all the time, stabbing each other for no reason, and it all seemed normal. it got so normal. it still feels like a dream to think back on it. nothing shocked me. or us. it was just daily drama and it was our life. and that’s where i grew up. i spent years going through that, that i think now i don’t know what to do or where to go or how to function regularly. i don’t know how to have regular relationships in normal society or whatever. i don’t know what to talk to people about, and so all the friends i continue to find and people i continue to form connections with are just more fucked up people because they understand. and i think it’s okay, because at least they’re not smoking crack. but it’s not. and now all we do is go to the bar everyday. maybe that’s better..but it’s not as different as i’d like to think.

and i act like the fact that all i do is drink literally every single day is okay now. because at least i’m not back in that place, right? ‘i grew out of it.’ but it’s not okay. might have stopped going there but nothing’s changed. and i’ve been drinking too much. and for too long. but i don’t know how to stop. at least i only rarely do drugs now, right? i like to think that makes it better. i know it doesn’t, though.

i just need the distance, from the fucking bar and 90% of the people in it. fake friends and trash people. i love them. but i can’t keep doing this. you are who you surround yourself with and i’ve spent too many years surrounding myself with negativity and toxicity. because i love them. and i know as long as i’m on facebook, as long as i’m reachable to message, even if i leave that fucking group chat, just one person has to msg me and i’ll go out. usually no one has to message. i message first, most days. i’m the one that’s always there. they all are, too. but just...slightly less. i guess i need distance from myself lol. but i think being more unreachable, if i just take this space, i can try to figure things out. i need to focus on myself. i need to do something useful with my fucking time and life. i can’t keep doing this another year.

i don’t remember why i started writing. i just have a lot of thoughts and nobody left to say them to. goodnight

[wrestlingisfake]

Final Battle preview

Jay Lethal vs. Cody Rhodes - Lethal is defending the Ring of Honor world championship.  Cody is the current IWGP United States champion, but that title is not at stake.

Cody’s contract with ROH has reportedly expired, and it’s looking more and more like he will leave ROH altogether to participate in the new All Elite Wrestling venture.  So this is likely to be his final big ROH show, where he does the job to the champion on his way out.  Then again, there could be a swerve, where Cody and ROH secretly work out a short-term agreement and he wins the title to confuse fans who’ve been following that story.

Lethal is sort of ROH’s franchise guy, in the sense that he’s been a headliner during a period where all the other headliners have been leaving the company.  It’s a tough spot for him--he doesn’t give me that tippy-toppy guy feel, because I can’t shake the feeling that he’s only at that level because everyone better than him is gone.  Perhaps Cody can help by giving him the rub here, but he’s really the last star left to do that.  In 2019 Lethal is going to be king of a mountain that feels smaller than it did when he returned to ROH in 2011.

I think it’s at least possible that Cody could surprise us all with a title win.  But in the long run, the destination is Jay Lethal vs. Matt Taven, and since Taven is doing the “real world champion” gimmick Lethal should be the actual champion headed into that feud.  So I’m picking Lethal to retain.

Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe - Kazarian and Sky (two thirds of SoCal Uncensored) are defending the ROH tag team championship in a three-way ladder match.  The title belts will be hung above the ring and the first team to retrieve them will be the winners and champions; ladders will be provided at ringside for the participants to use however they see fit.

Like Cody, the Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) are expected to be on their way out of ROH, and this match feels like their swan song.  In a story that hasn’t gotten as much attention, tough, SCU’s Kazarian and Christopher Daniels have also not re-signed with ROH, and they could be on their way out as well.  (I can’t find anything on Scorpio’s status.)  So aside from the fact these three teams have been feuding over the tag title for months, this may be the last chance to see any combination of them in the ring together.

ROH has generally protected the ladder match stip so that it feels more like a “this is the only way to settle it once and for all” deal, similar to cage matches and Texas death matches back in the old days.  Consequently, their ladder matches feel more climactic and important than those in other promotions, because you know the participants aren’t just going to rematch a month later.  So this is probably going to be a good time.  It may even be booked to close the show.

If I’m ROH, I want this match to put over the guys who are staying, and put them over hard.  The Bucks and SCU should be crumpled all over ringside while the Briscoes celebrate with the tag belts.  Kazarian and the Bucks should quickly vanish from television so the Briscoes can gloat about running them out of the company.  That’s how I’d do it, but ROH’s vision never seems to quite line up with mine...

Jeff Cobb vs. Adam Page - Cobb’s ROH television championship is on the line.  Page is--say it with me one more time--on his way out of the company with the rest of the Elite, so logically he should lose here.  These guys are both moving up the ladder quickly, so it ought to be fun to see them against one another.  But I would be very surprised if Page wins here.

Bully Ray vs. Flip Gordon - This is an “I quit” match, so there is only one rule in effect--once the match starts, it cannot end until the referee hears one participant verbally submit by saying “I quit.”  (Actually, ROH kinda already killed this stipulation by running an “i quit” match this week that ended as a no-contest due to outside interference.  I guess we’re supposed to act like this is WWE and pretend the bullshit TV finish can’t happen on the PPV.)

Bully Ray (best known as Bubba Ray Dudley in ECW and WWE) debuted in ROH in 2017 as a babyface veteran.  He dramatically “retired” in 2018 and was appointed to an enforcer role, but then he turned heel and mouthed off about all the flippy young guys ruining wrestling.  This concept has long since been done to death by WCW and TNA, but that didn’t stop ROH from giving it a go with Flip as the quintessential flippy young guy.  Bully has been getting heat on Flip for months, notably including a recent bit where Bully gave Flip a caning but Flip kept getting back up for more.

Flip is arguably the hottest babyface in ROH, and he almost certainly will be if/when the Elite and SCU leave.  The problem is that he’s the kind of white-meat babyface (like Ricky Steamboat, Tommy Dreamer, Daniel Bryan, and Johnny Gargano) where it’s so easy to get heel heat at his expense that the bookers lose sight of when it’s time for him to shine.  The caning angle perfectly sets up this match to blow off the feud, but it’s so perfect that they’re probably wondering if they can do it again, but even better.  For Flip to get anything out of this, he needs to win the feud and move on--he can’t just keep playing the lovable midcard loser getting bullied by heels forever.

This is the right time and place for Flip to take everything Bully can dish out, never quit, and then rally back to expose Bully as a coward and a quitter.  We’ll have to wait and see if ROH can figure that out.

Christopher Daniels vs. Marty Scurll - Scurll earned the right to challenge the ROH world champion in a match where he pinned Daniels to win, and now he’s putting that title shot at stake here.  Daniels is doing an angle where SCU is trying not to get kicked out of the company, and his teammates have the tag title to protect them, but he needs his own insurance.  Of course, in real life Daniels has not signed a new contract and it’s looking like he and Kazarian actually plan to leave soon.

Scurll, like the rest of the Elite, is expected to be departing ROH, but not on the same timetable.  He signed a short-term extension to keep him around through April, evidently to guarantee his participation in the April 6 Madison Square Garden show.  No one else from the Elite has signed such an extension, and I have to think ROH offered Scurll something good enough to sorta kinda break ranks.  I would not be surprised if they promised him a run with the world title and maybe even the world title match at MSG.  It’s pure speculation, but it would make sense.

Even if Daniels is on his way out and even if Scurll is earmarked for a title run, that doesn’t mean Scurll has to win this particular match.  But the safe bet is to pick the guy who’s staying over the guy who seems to be leaving.  And until we know more, that suggests Scurll wins.

Dalton Castle vs. Matt Taven - Taven is doing the old “real world champion” gimmick with an unsanctioned title belt, and he’s “defending” it here in this match.

A year ago, Castle won the world title and looked to be on track to be in the title picture throughout the 2018.  But various injuries caught up to him and he had to drop the belt to Jay Lethal in June.  It’s still not clear if Castle is fully recovered, or if he’ll ever get back into contention for the title.  The outcome of this match may indicate if he’s being pushed back to the top or held back in a “struggle to get back to the top” storyline.

For a while, Taven was probably best known as that one guy from The Kingdom that isn’t Adam Cole or Mike Bennett/Kanellis.  Then he relaunched the stable, which felt a bit like Tully Blanchard trying to start his own Horsemen, but okay.  Then he lost his hair in the main event of CMLL’s anniversary show, which seems to have kicked off a renewed heel push for him.  With so many other guys leaving, Taven has a big opportunity to step up.  The outcome of this match may indicate if they’ll step him up sooner rather than later.

The fact Taven is putting his fake belt up for grabs before a program with the actual champion kind of telegraphs the finish.  I don’t seriously believe Castle is going to win Taven’s belt and feud with him over it in the undercard like Ted DiBiase’s million dollar championship.  The logical endgame for this gimmick is Taven challenging Lethal, so Taven needs this win to get there.

Sumie Sakai vs. Madison Rayne vs. Karen Q vs. Kelly Klein - Sakai is defending the Women of Honor championship in a four-way elimination match; the loser of each fall is eliminated from the match until the last participant left is the winner and champion.

I have to give ROH credit for establishing a women’s division, but they’ve got a long way to go to catch up with WWE, or even Impact.  I follow ROH pretty casually, but I can still work out all the major happenings with the men.  The women, however, feel like blank slates with no noticeable storylines or personas.  I kinda know Madison from Impact, and Sakai is clearly the aging veteran proving she’s still got it with a length title reign.  If the company is serious, they need to get to a point where I don’t have to ask who people like Karen Q and Kelly Klein are.  That may be difficult to do when they run like six big shows a year and maybe one women’s match on each of them.

At this point the safe bet is to pick Sakai.  She should put over the next big star for the division, but I don’t think ROH has any idea who that will be.

Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Jonathan Gresham - Gresham declared he wanted to prove he’s the best technical wrestler today, and Sabre answered he challenge.  It feels like ROH is trying to elevate Gresham, but that doesn’t necessarily go as far as putting him over a key New Japan guy.  This could become one of those deals where Gresham is feted merely for losing a well-fought battle.  For Sabre this is just one last stop before arguably the biggest match of his career at Wrestle Kingdom, so it’s hard to imagine him losing here.

Kenny King vs. Eli Isom - This is set to be the opening match.  Kenny is so ageless--and perennially working his way up from the bottom of the card--that I keep forgetting he was the guy from Tough Enough season 2, where they went to South Africa and everybody talked about how he got laid.  Good for you, Kenny!  Anyway, he’s 37 now and he’s still around.  I’ve never heard of Isom and I’m pretty sure he’s just a jobber at this point.  I’m going with King to win.

[sequoiann]

✎ it’s ya girl denise !!!!! and guess what!! yes it’s already in the header but hfsdk i’ve hit my first anniversary!!! it’s crazy that i’ve actually sustained my account for a year! im rly so so grateful tht i’ve built up this… thing…. :^) the tumblr fam + the friends ive made through this acc was a hugeee part of my 2017, and im sure it’d be an even bigger part of my 2018 ! i’d like to thank everyone for being willing to read my pile of bullcrap tht i pour out of my head, ive said this before n i’ll say it again: i never ever imagined tht i’ll have a successful writing acc on here! i’ve tried writing on other platforms (like wattpad) before but it nv rly worked out well long-term bc it became a chore for me to post n update my stories…. but it’s never like tht on tumblr bc of you sweet buttercups!!! thnk u all for constantly reminding me to take care of myself n for checking in on me randomly nd !!! for keyboard smashing your souls out + screaming @ me when i post content!! every little action you guys do rly impacts me a lot, n even when u guys just come by n drop a msg in my inbox my heart just combusts n 💞💛🚨💎💗💥💘‼ (okay enough yapping)

i honestly dont know how follow forevers work but ! i’d like to mention people tht hv, in one way or another, helped me to keep this account going! i cant mention e v e ry o n e but do know tht as long as you’ve made a single note on my dash or hv positive views on my content, you’d be in this list if i cld fit everyone!! i love you all and thnk u so much for everything!

💛: scroll 2 the bottom for a msg! 💗: bithc i’d fling myself out of the solar system for you ilysdm wth ⛅: i actl stalk ur page every few days n send in anon asks bc im a coward but haa thnk u 4 being an inspiration to humanity 💫: we dont talk a lot yet but i absolutely adore ur content!!! n i hope you’re well n happy bc u deserve all the love u can get !

a-c :

@andromedaneedsoxyjin 💗 @adoretexts ⛅ @ajuimaginary 💗 @boosoonhao 💛 @bfwooz 💗 @blondshua 💫 @bookwan 💗 @cheolshu 💫 @chittafont ⛅ @choco-seventeen 💛 @caratvocals 💛 @cosmicae 💗 @chillihansol 💛 @camera-seventeen 💫

d-o :

@dumbbelle 💛 @dreamingseventeen 💛 @gyuofficial 💫 @hansolmates 💗 @hoshidotcom  💫 @hyungwon  💫 @hxshi  💫 @honeywonu 💗 @jeongahn  💗 @joshsua 💫 @jiso2 💗 @jeong-hanie 💫 @joshpup 💗 @johshuas 💫 @jeonghney  💫 @kristian-do 💗 @kingyu97 💛 @kwoncity 💗 @lxveille 💗 @myungho ⛅ @neoyeppuda 💛 @oatmealupdates 💗

p-s :

@princeshushu @paintedshua 💛 @peachseong ⛅ @pasteluji ⛅ @pjimims ⛅ @rappershua 💫 @seventeendom 💫 @soongyuz @shuvee 💫@saythename17scenarios 💗 @starshua @sailorimagines ⛅ @swimmingfool 💫@sebongie-loves ⛅ @softmanscoups 💫 @softhaos ⛅ @soongyuz 💛

t - # :

@ttherose 💫 @taekemeaway ⛅ @tswoondere 💫 @vitaminhosh 💫 @versigny ⛅ @warmau ⛅ @welovekpopscenarios 💗 @writers-leir ⛅ @writingdummy 💗 @whatsoodo ⛅ @wonuz ⛅ @17cuties ⛅ @17cafe 💗 @17mounteens 💗

❥ @boosoonhao

love!!! okay hello hngh we hvnt talked the most yet but i dont think i’ve expressed my utmost love for you enough so yes let me tell you how much i l o v e your content, plus u post quality works so often it makes my little heart so !!! content !!! im not sure when you made your account n i think i discovered your blog a little late but thnk u for your effort in everything you do, u rly inspire me to keep working on my drafts :”) i lov you n i hope we get closer this year! even if im an awkward ass! 

❥ @choco-seventeen

chOcoOooO oh choco my juliet hskjdf hi it’s my annoying ass here to bother u again with my over-the-top affection for u!!!! you rly were one of the blogs tht made me start my own writing blog, n even when i did i nv knew i’d ever talk to u?? maybe through anon heuk but i rly thought u’d be tht holy figure up there tht i’ll never reach! i mean u are still tht holy figure but thnk u for being so friendly n nice n cute n for bcoming a friend 2 me!!! i lov u so much + okay pfft your works pffttt i wnt to frame them up in gold n hang them in my living hall wadafack bih

❥ @caratvocals

oh look another one of my inspirations whom motivated me to start out making fake texts!! kura my love hello !!! i knw we hvnt talked a lot in the recent months…? but my appreciation n love for u still ! remains ! the same !! i love your bubbly n kind personality n it’s rly similar to seokmin’s…. you’re the sun tht never goes out! thnk u for spouting random cute words bc wow thAT shiT you do makes me so soft n your texts??? my honey your texts are so legit i cackle whenever i read them !! i never know how you make them so realistic but i’d like to thank you for putting so much effort into your work ; n your scenarios omg when u released your first fic i wanted to roll in the grass n scream ! it was so good, the chan apocalypse one and the jeonghan day 27 (? i think?) one! i lov all your works basically, thnk u for being so inspiring n cute n for being yourself i lov u !!!

❥ @chillihansol

hanni hanni hanni HANNI !!! my virtual sister! the loml !!! i’ve got so many things to thank you for honestly, you’ve been tht pillar of support for me whenever my mind is just going haphazard ! n u always try to help whenever sth comes up n ure so kind abt everything i wna migrate to where u live omf // + i’ve seen u improve in your writing so much in such a short period of time i am shook tbh wht kind of black magic are u doing ?? ok but im so grateful to hv met u omg when i think abt u i honestly just…… burst into ugly tears bc wht did i ever do in my past life to deserve you ilysdm thnk u for coming into my life n staying here through all my bullsht

❥ @dumbelle

my ring ring ding a ling!!! my disney princess !!!! i love you so much do i need to say anything more!!! thnk u for always checking in on me with cute lil msgs n chatting w my boring ass ! you’re so sweet n kind n so crazy n wow i love crazy :^)) you’ve been posting such unique content on your blog…. i mean the moodboards + the speech text bubbles + the cute lil scenarios below tht?? wht the heck tht is so cute ???? the first time i saw  one of your moodboard i started chuckling 2 myself @ the dinner table n i wnted to shove the fork down my throat is2g ok ilyssm

❥ @kingyu97

feesha!! i rmb when you were still tht f anon tht i met indirectly through clar n lani, n you lil shits wouldnt tell me who u are !!! tht was a funny experience im not gna lie but tht aside, thnk u for always showing your support in my works + being my lil chat buddy!! you brighten up my days so much, sometimes u randomly pop into my inbox when im feeling under the waeather n it just… rly…. makes me smile n then sob in 54 languages bc i lov u n i hv done nothing to deserve everything u do for me n i just…. i just love u ok pls stay in my life ilyily

❥ @dreamingseventeen

yEt another one of my senpais ! my inspiration 2 write!!!! i’ve loved your works ever since i discovered cos, it’s rly one of the fics tht i rmb every detail abt bc i reread it everytime it fades from my dory memory!! i feel so honored tht i got to talk to n be friends with succch an amazing author like you, n i love how you’re just so sincere n genuine in everything tht u do! thnk u for supporting me + encouraging me when im hesitant to do stuff, im so grateful for you and i love you ! i hope you keep writing (although your cat walks all over you n your desktop kekk how cute), pls do rmb to stay healthy !!

❥ @neoyeppuda

i’d really want to make 2 separate dedis to the both of u clar n lani but this post is getting toooo long so i’ll try to be concise but at the same time (hopefully) be able to tell u 2 how much i love u!!! the both of u hv been supporting me for a while n i heard abt you guys a lot before, n when yall came into my inbox i shrieked when i found out tht it was the admins of neoyeppuda like woa i feel like a celebrity just noticed me?? the same feeling i got with choco when i interacted w her for the first time! thnk u both for being so sweet n kind n crazy with me, im so thankful tht the both of u are my friends :^) lani you’re so damn beautiful both inside out n i hope u dont forget tht, i knw things may be hard but it’ll get better - talk to me whenever alright ♡ clar you’re the adorablest fluffiest person ever ilysm thnk u for always hitting my soft spots haaaa :”))) i hope 2018 goes well for the both of u, n pls take care!

❥ @paintedshua

sophie!!! my lovely lavendar soap bar! i think you’d be able to expect wht i wna say already but thnk u for chatting with me at random times of the day / night abt random ass topics tht come off your head (or maybe mine?) ! it makes me so happy tht we’re able to talk so… calmly abt crazy topics n talk so crazily abt calm topics….. i dont think tht made sense but yes u get it hnghh thnk u for building this friendship with me! one tht i treasure with all my heart n soul!!! i hope you continue having happiness n bliss in your life bc u obviously deserve all the good u can get

❥ @soongyuz

priya!!!! wow i can write a freaking 87439-word essay for u bc i think?? tht you’ve been my longest (i dont think tht this is the correct term but) mutual? you’ve been here as heart anon, and let me tell you!!! those days!!! i wasn’t in the best emotional condition (?? ok this doesnt sound right too buT lets move on) then n your heart anon asks were so cute n so innocent n just so!! full of marshmallows n rainbow sprinkles !!! n then a priya emerged from tht n im so damn grateful tht you’ve been with me for so long, thnk u for absolutely everything tht you’ve done for me, i love u so much ♡ i hope you arent too stressed abt school + i hope ure taking care of yourself!

[meteorslunatic-blog]

Gorgeous - Sirius Black

Summary : Y/n realizing her feelings for Sirius after making amortentia with him ( yeah , cliche af I'm sorry >< )

Warnings : None :)

A/N : it's my first imagine here ! Please don't hesitate to tell me if I'd have any mistakes as English isn't my native language . Happy love month everyone ♥️

Word count : 1.96k

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' But what can I say? You're gorgeous . '

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Yes , he's been annoying you again . In fact , you were sure that it was his daily pleasure to tease you . And yes , you pushed him away again . But no , this is going downhill . You knew you have been influenced by his notorious flirtings . Who were you to blame though ? He's famous for his aristocratic , elegant good-looks .




" Princess , fancy for a date at Hogsmead with me tomorrow ? " just like that . This scene happens in every Friday's potions class . No wonder you missed Severus as your partner , at least he actually helped with the work . Instead of what this guy does , distracting and whispering in your ears every two minutes . You were also surprised that you still haven't hexed one of his limbs off after the two weeks Slugorn swapped partners .




" I'm convinced that you knew the answer . So , fancy to helping me on putting the moonstone power in the brew instead ? " but of course , for a skillful actress like you are , you contained your blush perfectly . And thought of a satic comeback like you always do . Because that's what you do .




" Aww , don't spoil the mood . We're making Amortentia today ! Shouldn't you be more romantic instead of all cold like now ? " you were just glad he obeyed and added the powder into the cauldron . Sometimes he could be such a prick that you would have no doubt to land a punch on his face , but sometimes , he is just too hard to resist . You were obviously too into your thoughts that you didn't even noticed the rose thorn pierced your finger .




" Ouch ! " well , not until you finally felt pain . You looked down and was not surprised when you saw a drip of blood showing up on your index finger . And apparently , you weren't the only one who found that out . Your new potions partner was never so observant in all the times but now .




" Holy Merlins , are you alright ?! Ferula . " but he did helped to bandage it . You wished he didn't though , this whole ' Black Charm ' thing had been messing with your very rational mind and you didn't like that at all .




" Thanks . So can you lower your voice now and keep working ? We need to make this potion perfect to get an O . " you stared at your now nicely bandaged wound and sighed again . This needed to stop , right now . You purposely avoided his ravishing gray eyes that every girl in this school were obsessed with and turned your focus back to the cauldron .




" That's it ? I saved your life ! Shouldn't you at least go on a date with me ? Come on , I've been asking you out for the longest time , I felt like another James ! " he whisper-screamed into your ears without warnings . You freaked out for a bit , but came to your senses quickly . After all , you knew what you were doing , at least that's what you think .

" You wrapped my wound , alright ? I thought I expressed my endless gratitude by thanking you already . And for the matter of fact ,we've talked about this already , I don't date players . " for some reason , you started to hiss like him , what a bad influence he was . Well , you did told him many many times about not prefer to play around , not that he'd ever listen to you anyway .




" Well , I thought we've talked about this already , I'm serious this time . I won't treat you like the previous flings I had , because you are anything but just a fling to me . " he tried to mock your tone , but it wasn't difficult to acknowledge his desparity in his voice . Yeah , of course he'd say that , or else who'd believe him after the glorious history he had .




" Of course you're Sirius . Who else would you be , James ? " you didn't even bother to say your thoughts out loud , knowing that he would have another planned flirtatious comeback for you . Sometimes you'd think , why's he still trying ? What if he actually likes you , in a serious way ? Or maybe you're just that one medal he is yet to claim in the field ? You didn't need much time before settling on the second answer . Boys are stupid , stupidly competitive and damn manipulative , especially boys like Black , who is always so confident and sure that he could get any girl if he wanted to . And you just happened to be that obstacle in the way , keeping him away to prove that , and that's what led to the on-going teasing right now .




" It was a lame one . I think we can both agree on that . " he faked a pout and said . Sprinkling in more nicely minced peppermint into the brew . At least he was helping out with the potion , you thought to yourself . But it would be the best if he can shut his annoying little mouth for a while .




" This should be the last ingredient we need , we need to get an O . " you deliberately ignored him and put in the pearl dust for the supposed pearl sheen of the successful potion . You stirred the potion in the cauldron for a few times before Slugorn came over to your table and checked on your finished product .




" This is perfect !! Ten points to both (y/h ) and Gryffindor ! Great job , Miss (l/n) , I know I should not be expecting less from you . And you , Mr Black , I'm more than delighted with this result . Even though it's obvious that most of the credit wasn't yours . The both of you will be receiving an O for sure . So , give it a sniff , what does it smell like ? " you always welcome compliments . And you were just over the moon when you heard what Slugorn said , not just for yourself , but also for Sirius . You knew he was smart , he just need to use his brain more often in class , rather than those pranks he pulled on the Slytherins with his bunch of friends .




" Leather , mint , and a powdery smell that could be a perfume with bergamot and vanilla ? " Bloody hell , that's exactly the upper and the lower note of your perfume ! How could he smelled that out ? Oh right , he was literally a dog , no surprise . But wait , does it mean ...




" How about you , Miss (l/n) ? " Slugorn's untimely curiosity interrupted your thoughts rudely . You listened and smelled the now spiraling , shimmering potion . You identified the first two scents right away , but the last one left you confused .




" The first one was citrus , the second was peach but for the last one ... I wasn't sure , Professor ." you gave your answer honestly , which led to a fatherly smile on Slugorn's face and a playful smirk on Sirius' . You couldn't help but wonder what was in his mind again . He's always full of unexpectedly dumb things inside his brain .




" Describe it , maybe we can help you figure that out ? " oh does the potions professor was persistent ! So you gave it one more try , inhaling vigorously from that cauldron of Amortentia . You almost worried that you'd be affected by it because you sniffed too hard .




" It smelled kind of refreshing , with a hint of musk maybe ? I honestly have no idea what the smell was , professor . " you shrugged again . You'd hate to admit it , but you really wanted to know what that smell was , or to be exact , who it belonged to . Because you were pretty sure that it was from a perfume you had smelled before . Yet , you just couldn't recall who that was .




" It sounds a lot like someone's colonge to me . Good luck finding it out , Miss (l/n) . You two are good to go , enjoy your lunch . " he patted on my shoulder , providing me an obvious answer before telling us off . Well , at least I got to go to lunch earlier . You couldn't help but have this unsolved mystery lingered around when you started putting your book back into your bag . Who would it be ? Well , many guys in this school use colonge , so how can I find him out ?? Wait , is that ...... No no no !! It coudn't be him , it wouldn't be !!




" Hey , earth to my lovely (y/n) ! Still bothered with the third scent ? " Sirius had already placed his arm around your shoulder before you could stop him . But you were too deep in thought to push him away or to simply resist it . Suddenly , the mysterious third scent appeared around you , and confirmed your previous bold guess . Nothing , nothing could be worse than this , you thought to yourself . You smelled Sirius Black's colonge . Of all the boys in this bloody school , you fell for the one who you shouldn't ever be falling for . What a genius .




" Helloooooooo ? But for real , it sounds like my colonge . Oh well , Miss (l/n) , seems like you can't resist the infamous ' Black Charm ' as well ? " his awfully loud voice finally brought you back into the reality , where his face was on inches away as he bent down to stare right through your eyes . All hell breaks loose , nope , not going to happen . You were smart enough not to fall in love with him , or that's what you think . It was him , you were damn sure now . But why does it have to be ???




" Leave me alone , Black . " you brushed him away and stormed off to the Grand Hall . His usual mischievous chuckles sounded behind your back , echoing through the empty hallways .




This is only going to get worse , isn't it ? You wish you could hate him , like what happened on the first day . But how was that even possible anymore ? His charms was really getting to you slowly , his looks and teases were definitely the things to blame . I mean , who'd be able to hate him , just look at his face !! You never thought yourself as shallow as you were at the moment , but you just couldn't get this over with for some reason . You sighed once again , for your irrationality and impulsiveness that you'd wished never to exsist .




But who are you to blame ? After all , that boy is bloody gorgeous .

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