#if Aedion has no fans I’m dead!!!

[nicolemabes]

You know who is blonde, misunderstood, and rife with trauma that actually deserves defending? Aedion Ashryver.

[westfall-castle]

What do you really think about Aelin? Personally,  I think she's really rude. I'm not staying this because she is written to be confident in herself.  But I believe it is arrogance. We as an audience are gaslit into believing that she's just strong and doesn't take crap. But so was Nehemia,  but the difference between Nehemia is that she isn't arrogant, but Aelin is.

Also there is the issue about her making "plans", that include no-one. I'm pretty sure that's not how you run things. It's pretty selfish to not tell anyone about your plans (like what happened to Aedion), and it's pretty selfish to be physically angry about someone who has a different of opinion than she did ( like Dorian talking about freeing manon in EOS).

Hahahaha, I’m sweating cold with this question because I have a feeling that when I answer, Aelin fans are gonna come for my head with torches and pikes. Still... ilysm for asking this, you're my crush, send you kisses and I agree with you on many levels.

My opinion: Its just too much to understand her anymore. It's like that movie, Split with James McAvoy. I heavily suspected dissociative identity disorder at some point 🤣. Aelin should be at least 45 to have lived all she has lived. It gives me the impression that SJM had to pick ONE main character for her fantasy books, either a girlboss pirate, a young assasin in a mens' world, a medieval courtier with a secret agenda, a gifted magician or a queen from a lost kingdom and she said "fuck it, i'll take them all". There would be no problem with this IF the character stayed consistent, if there were enough TIME but... SHES 19 IN THE FINAL BOOK. I mean...

Her personality traits just keep appearing left and right and us, as readers, don't get accountability for these new ways of behaving. She's feminine when it suits her but then bashes femininity in the next chapter. She's "one of the boys" but also a "girlboss". She's crazy and manic but also mighty and merciful. The only thing that remains constant might be her sense of humor. Her moral compass is a mess and there comes a point where she's truly unpredictable. It seems that she behaves according to what the plot needs in the moment.

For example; She's a girlboss feminist who is willing to teach Yrene how to defend herself and seems to have intentions of "empowering" women around her but then looks down on "soft" vulnerable women, rolling her eyes and mentally shaming and judging on multiple ocassions throughout the books and even saying things like (quoting one of her lines when she meets Philippa, her personal maid.) " Why send such a soft woman to serve her? She'd outpower her in a heartbeat". (And yes, Assassin’s Blade happened before TOG, is she evolving backwards?)

The books center so much in praising her through the point of view of multiple characters that we do not get enough introspection on her behalf. If anything we are swayed into a new tragedy/ battle/ moment of suffering where we only see her brooding over herself or past events as if making her suffer more and more somewhat was the way to revindicate her instead of her having a moment thinking to herself " well, I fucked up, things were not as I thought and I see it now".

Everyone owes her everything even if she was wrong sometimes and never accepted it. She has way too many life debts to call in the end and SHES ONLY 19. That’s why many readers felt in KoA that whenever Aelin and the plot hit a dead end, she just had to send a letter and 8 new powerful allies came claiming they owed her their lives. COME ON 😂 There’s a difference between writing fantasy and magically solving plots with unrealistic arguments.

I think what I hate most is the gaslighting of the narrative. as you mention. There are times where she's being arrogant, mean or condescending and instead of getting a REALISTIC and UNBIASED perspective we just get a Rowan POV chapter saying something like "It was not a plain woman but a queen standing before them" or "It was a queen's voice speaking" and then, as if it was not enough it follows another simping POV (usually Aedion) saying also " Wow, it was not his cousin speaking but a queen before them" like... NO STFU she's not right this time hahahah, and when exactly did she become so high and mighty.

Another example is how she fn ADORES to splurge on dresses on Assassin’s Blade but the moment she meets Kaltain and eavesdrop her conversation in the gardens Kaltain says that her own dress is ‘so old’ despite being practically new and Celaena’s reaction is ‘ugh, these air-headed women’ instead of maybe not pointing it out or even find it relatable. I know that this tells us more about Kaltain, so that we understand the type of person she is, but I still don’t like the harsh judgement Celaena seems to have about specific traits of her personality. Readers are gaslit into believing this change comes from her time in Endovier and now she’s so centered and appreciative and morally superior but THEEEEN in Crown of Midnight she LITERALLY DOES THE SAME, buying more clothes and jewels than she can wear, becoming suddenly a little bit cocky saying things like ‘ugh, these tacky clothes, I wouldn’t be caught dead in those’ . Come on girl, don’t be judgy when you’re the same.

I loved Celaena in Throne of Glass (BOOK 1) . Up until this point it was a tight character, I liked her personality, her internal monologue was funny and relatable. The events that had happened in her life were somehow believable (even if it’s a fantasy book) Her moral compass was clear for the reader and we had this concept of "rogue with certain moral values/ chaotic good" persona. When Aelin comes though... Idk anymore, It feels so inconsistent. She's just... everything, she has 8 different personalities at the same time, it's like she was an A03 fic and she had ALL THE TAGS, all the tropes. She gets away with the bad things she does too easily. In the end I was happy she was happy and never came to hate her but its just too much going on for one character.

[theladyofdeath]

In the Bleak Midwinter {20}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: Epilogue coming soon....

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

Links & masterlists:

Fanfic Masterlist

Ask me

The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

For what seemed like the hundredth time in days, Aelin awoke in an unfamiliar place. The ground beneath her was damp and cool, covered in sticks and dead leaves. Once her vision cleared, she was blinking up at a surrounding of trees, bare from their fallen leaves of Autumn. She pushed herself up on her elbows, which sunk into the seeping dirt, covering her already dusty, bloody dress in thick mud. 

A fluttering came from inside of her stomach, and Aelin was, once again, grateful to her baby for letting her know that they were still there, perfectly okay. 

After pushing herself up on her knees, Aelin looked around. She was in the middle of the woods, but other than that, she had no idea where she was. 

No fucking clue.

After taking a look around in every direction, she screamed at the top of her lungs.

There was no response.

Once she had randomly picked a direction, Aelin started walking.

With every step she took, she thought of Rowan. 

Where was he? What had Maeve done since she’d left?

Left, been kicked out - same difference. 

Aelin remembered very little. She was hungry, scared, heartbroken from hearing Rowan scream her name from the upstairs, wherever he had been upstairs. She could hear her name, which he shouted from the top of his lungs, through the door in which Maeve had kept her in within the basement. 

Not long after, Cairn entered her room and hit her in the head with the butt of his gun. 

She remembered nothing else until moments ago, when she woke up, tossed on the ground like a piece of trash. 

She kept walking.

Every step hurt, she was beginning to feel dizzy. 

Her hands rested on her stomach, giving her as much strength as she could muster. 

Aelin felt like she had walked for hours, for days, even though the sun never set. Although it was Autumn, the sun was warm, and she was dehydrated. After a while, she decided on a break and plopped down on a log.

Her nightgown was ripped, her nightgown that she had been wearing when they stole Aelin from her bed. 

Aelin forced herself to stand back up, even though her knees shook, and continued on her way. She still had no idea where she was, but she had been walking for so long that she figured she had to be getting to civilization soon.

She imagined that she couldn’t have been out long enough to go somewhere far enough away that she couldn’t find her way back. She didn’t think she had been out that long. But, then again, she had no idea how long she had really been out. 

So she walked.

She walked for hours, walked until the sun began to sink low in the sky.

Then she saw smoke billowing in the distance, high above the trees. 

A mangled cry left Aelin’s trembling body, and she tried to run, even though every inch of her body ached, even though she felt like she would faint.

For my baby, for Rowan. She repeated the words in her mind with every step she took, each time the ones she loved pushed her forward.

Until she fell out into a clearing.

Her house, the manor, sat half a mile away across the vast,green landscape. 

Aelin sobbed.

Hours, she had spent hours wandering around through her own land, her own woods. They had brought her home. In the cruelest of ways, certainly, but they had brought her home.

Why would they bring her home?

Aelin’s blood ran cold.

Rowan had made a deal.

She had no doubt about it.

Her freedom, her to go home, for his life.

Aelin ran.

With every little last ounce of energy she had, Aelin ran across the grass, held onto her small bump as she ran and ran and ran until she was throwing open the front door.

“Gavriel!” she screamed, tears streaming down her face. “Aedion!”

“Aelin?” Lysandra was around the corner, tears in her eyes as Aelin threw herself into her friend’s arms. “Aelin! What - How - Are you-.”

“Rowan made a deal, they dropped me off in the woods, they left me for dead, on our property, they still have Ro, Lys, they have him, and they’re going to kill him-.”

“Ael-.”

“We have to go to him,” Aelin sobbed, her entire body shaking. Lysandra was practically holding her up. “We have to go to him, where are they? Where are the boys? Gavriel! Lorcan! Vau-.”

“Aelin,” Lysandra said, her voice loud, her face close to Aelin’s. “They’re gone.”

Aelin went still. “Gone?”

“They found out where Maeve is staying, where she’s keeping Rowan, they’ve already left.”

“They’ve already left,” Aelin breathed.

“They’ve already left,” Lysandra repeated, keeping her tear-lined eyes on Aelin’s. 

“They’re going to get Rowan?” Aelin whispered.

“They’re going to get him,” Lysandra promised. 

“And Lucy?”

“Safe,” Lysandra promised. “Napping in her crib, Natalia hasn’t left her side.”

“I have to apologize to Lorcan, I should have protected her, when he gets back with Rowan, I have to tell him I’m sorry, I have to, he has to, Rowan, Rowan has to-.”

“He’s coming back,” Lysandra said, her voice stern, even though it broke as the words escaped her. “There’s nothing to apologize for, it wasn’t your fault, and the men are coming back with Rowan, okay? They’re coming back.”

Aelin’s lip wobbled as she fell into Lysandra’s arms, sobbing, her face buried into Lysandra’s shoulder. 

Lysandra held Aelin close, clung to her best friend, sobbed alongside her, neither saying a word.

It wasn’t until those sobs died down that Aelin finally spoke again, in the quietest of voices.

“Lys?”

“Yeah?”

“What if it’s already too late?” she asked, afraid of the words. The last thing Aelin remembered was his screams, his voice, echoing through the house, terrified. 

Lysandra didn’t reply.

She only held Aelin tighter.

~~~~~

The gunshot rang through Rowan’s mind.

It all happened so quickly.

He was screaming for Aelin.

Screaming, because he didn’t know where she was, his wife.

She wasn’t there, Maeve had said.

She wouldn’t tell him where she was.

His wife.

His mate.

His love.

Carrying his child. 

He screamed for her, over and over again. He screamed, but no one gave him an answer. 

Maeve told him that his time was over.

Rowan didn’t care.

He just wanted his wife.

Maeve told him that he was worthless, told him that it was his fault her life had gone to shit, blamed Arobynn’s end on him.

It was Rowan’s fault.

He didn’t regret it.

He kept calling for Aelin.

Her name had barely left his lips when the gunshot rang out. 

It hit Rowan between the ribs.

Maeve’s face was the last thing he saw before he faded away into darkness.

Her dark, serpentine grin. 

Now, he had no idea where he was.

He wasn’t in pain, though. The bullet had hurt. The bullets always hurt. 

Now, wherever he was, it no longer hurt. 

Maeve wasn’t there, either.

He was still wearing his dingy clothes, his shirt still bloodstained where her shot had hit him.

“Hello?” he asked.

Suddenly, he was in a clearing. He was on his feet, his feet bare atop the grass. He spun around. All he could see was trees. 

“Rowan?”

He knew that voice.

He spun around.

Connall, dressed in his finest suit, was leaning up against the trunk of a tree, smoking a cigarette. He gave Rowan a mischievous grin.

Rowan had missed that grin. “Con?”

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” he said, blowing a puff of smoke into the open air. 

“Where am I?” Rowan asked, quietly.

Connall cocked his head to the side. “You’re still breathing, you know.”

“What?” Rowan shot back. “Where am-.”

“Maeve shot you, in the ribs, and she wants you to suffer a slow, miserable death. You’re still breathing,” Connall replied, his voice light, his eyes bright. “You could still wake up.”

“I don’t understand,” Rowan said, shaking his head.

“What’s not to understand?” Connall asked. “You’re dying. Want a smoke?”

Rowan blinked. Connall was now standing a mere foot away, holding out a box of smokes.

Rowan hesitated. “But-.”

“It’s a little overwhelming, isn’t it?” A new voice.

Rowan spun around.

Elide was there with that familiar, comforting smile. 

“El,” he breathed, and his eyes were suddenly lined with tears as he looked back and forth between the two members of the Cadre that had been lost.

Lost, too soon, too young, long before their time. 

“We’ve missed you both,” he said.

Connall’s grin widened. “Who knew becoming a father would make you so vulnerable, Whitethorn?” 

Becoming a father. 

Rowan wouldn’t be able to see his child be born. 

Elide’s eyes softened. “You can still wake up, Ro.”

If he woke up, he’d be in pain.

What if Maeve was still there? She would stay there, smiling, watching him die. 

He was a dead man. 

“Not yet,” Elide said, reading his thoughts with a kind, gentle smile. “They’re coming.”

“Who?”

“Who do you think?” Connall asked, rolling his eyes. “Your men, along with Rhoe and his men.”

“They’re coming?” Rowan asked, as Elide’s hand rested on his shoulder.

“You didn’t think they’d let you die without a fight, did you?” Elide asked.

Rowan slowly shook his head. “Is this real?”

“Is what real?” Connall asked. 

“This,” Rowan breathed, gesturing around them. “Wherever we are, the two of you.” 

Connall tossed his cigarette onto the ground and put it out with his boot. “Do you want it to be real?” 

Yes, he did. He wanted to see them, was happy to see them.

But he wasn’t ready to die.

“It’s real if you want it to be,” Elide followed, when Rowan said nothing. “You’re still breathing, Ro.”

Still breathing.

The Cadre was coming for him. 

Aelin was alive, he knew it, felt it in his bones. ‘

“Live,” Connall pushed, reaching up to put his hand on Rowan’s shoulder.

The second Connall’s hand touched his dusty sleeve, Rowan’s eyes were shooting open.

~~~~~

They weren’t exactly sure what to expect when they got to the abandoned manor, but they were pleasantly surprised at one thing: they were fairly evenly matched in men, and Maeve’s men were not ready for a surprise attack. 

Two men were shot before they even made it through the door. Chaol and Dorian were walking around the manor, eliminating all threats to the outside. On the inside was Rhoe, Ren, Aedion, and the Cadre, led by Lorcan and his twin revolvers. 

Lorcan shot first and looked who it was after.

They were here, they knew it, and they would be getting them out. 

True to Fenrys’ word, they found the closet that led down to the basement. There were a few more of Maeve’s men that were quickly demolished, but after opening up door after door, they found it was empty.

“It makes no sense,” Lorcan growled, kicking up a door that he’d already opened and searched within. “Where are they?”

“They should be here,” Fenrys agreed, shaking his head. Someone’s blood was smeared across his cheek. 

“They have to be here somewhere,” Gavriel said. 

“The place is massive, we don’t have much time, if I had to take a guess,” Rhoe said, his face paled. “Let’s move. Split up. Search the grounds.”

There was no time to disagree. Lorcan went with Gavriel and Fenrys as Rhoe, Ren, and Aedion searched the first floor. Lorcan was halfway up the basement’s stairs when he saw her.

She was smiling, brightly, as beautiful as she always was.

“Elide,” he breathed.

Gavriel shot him a look, but Lorcan wasn’t paying attention. He was watching as Elide whispered, “Follow me, my love.” 

Lorcan didn’t hesitate. “Follow me.”

Gavriel and Fenrys looked worriedly at one another, but it didn’t stop their feet from moving, didn’t stop them from following him.

“Where is he?” Lorcan asked.

“Follow me,” Elide repeated, but she was moving quickly. They went through the kitchens and through the halls, through the foyer and into the winding hallway.

“Are they together?” Lorcan asked, following Elide up the winding staircase. 

“How the hell am I supposed to know?” Gavriel growled.

“He’s not talking to you,” Fenrys whispered, with a surprise calm. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Gavriel asked, exasperated.

Fenrys didn’t answer.

“Who?” Elide asked, at last, as they neared the second floor landing. 

“Aelin and Rowan,” Lorcan snapped. “Are they together?”

Elide’s brows furrowed. “Aelin is gone. Home, safe, with baby Lucy.”

Lorcan said, “Aelin is home.”

“Home? What-.”

“Trust him,” Fenrys begged.

Gavriel growled in frustration.  

They followed Elide to the end of the hall where she stopped in front of a door. Before anyone could open it, her eyes widened. “Turn around!”

A shot rang out, but it missed them all, hitting the spot where Elide’s incandescent form stood in front of the wall.

They all spun, coming eye to eye with Maeve, Cairn to her right. 

“It’s about time,” Maeve crooned, her heels clicking along the hardwood. “But, I’m afraid Aelin has left, and it’s too late for your leader.” 

“Where is he?” Lorcan growled. 

“Don’t bother,” she said, her smile remaining. “Too late.” 

“Where the fuck is he?” Gavriel yelled, taking a step toward Maeve.

Cairn raised his gun.

Gavriel froze. 

“Another step and it will be your last,” Maeve promised, her grin fading. 

“You have a lot of nerve,” Lorcan said, quietly.

Mave only lifted a thin, sculpted brow. “Pardon?”

“My wife,” he breathed. “Connall. Now Rowan.” He shook his head. “You’ve known us our entire lives. Why?”

“Arobynn-.”

“Why?!” He screamed, Lorcan’s voice echoing through the hallway. “You are a ruthless, worthless, piece of shit!”

“Lor,” Gavriel whispered, in warning.

“What’s she going to do?” Lorcan asked, snorting. “Shoot me?”

“Oh, I’d love to,” Maeve snapped, and snatched the gun from Cairn’s hand. It went off, the bullet hitting a nearby lamp, shattering the bulb into countless piece and the clay base into chunks.

Another shot went off.

Everyone froze.

All but Maeve, who fell to the ground.

Smoke was coming from the revolver in Lorcan’s hand.

“That was for my wife, you bitch,” Lorcan hissed, slowly lowering the gun back to his side.

Cairn stared at Maeve’s lifeless form, his lips parted.

His body joined hers soon after, thanks to Gavriel.

Lorcan had already turned and was pushing his way inside of the room that Elide had led them to. After he pushed open the door, he froze.

Then he ran.

He ran to the center of the room where Rowan was tied, hanging limply, in an old wooden chair. There was a crimson stain on his shirt, above his ribs. 

“Rowan!” Gavriel growled, but Lorcan was already on his knees in front of his leader.

“Ro,” he whispered, patting Rowan on his face. “Rowan, hey, Ro, wake up, yeah?” He pressed his ear up to Rowan’s chest.

“He’s breathing,” Elide said, softly, from behind Lorcan’s shoulder. “He was here, but now he’s not. He’s ready to live.”

Lorcan looked up at his wife, and the gentle kindness in her eyes.

She was fading.

“What?” was all Lorcan could say.

“Get him to the hospital,” Elide said, as her form became lighter and lighter.

“Elide,” he breathed. 

Gavriel was untying Rowan, and Fenrys stood close by, not saying a word.

Perhaps he understood.

Perhaps he saw Connall, sometimes, too. 

“Goodbye, my love,” she whispered, and Lorcan knew a tear had fallen down his cheek, but he didn’t care.

Elide disappeared, and Rowan fell forward with a groan. Gavriel had loosened the bonds around his wrists, and Lorcan caught Rowan, lifting him up.

Even as he wept.

Rowan’s eyes were still shut, but the house was silent, all for Rhoe’s voice from down the hall.

“Gavriel?”  

They all looked through the open door. Rhoe stood before Maeve and Cairn’s bodies, Ren and Aedion behind him. 

No one bothered to ask what had happened.

Maeve was dead.

That was all that mattered. 

“We need to get Rowan out of here, to medical professionals,” Lorcan said, although his voice sounded distanced.

Rowan.

Elide.

Blood.

Maeve.

Cairn.

Too much was happening. 

Rowan was being lifted off of Lorcan, then Lorcan was on his feet, following the others out of the room.

Everything was in a blur.

Elide was gone.

Elide was gone, and everything was in a blur. 

Elide was gone.

Gone.

He couldn’t see her ghost, not anymore.

As Lorcan followed the others out of the house, over the dead bodies in which they shot, Gavriel hung close, holding Lorcan up by the arm.

Shock.

Lorcan was in shock.

His wife’s ghost disappeared.

His best friend was shot.

He had shot Maeve.

He was following the others out of the house, but he felt like he was in a dream.

A dream, a nightmare...One of them. Either, or. 

Rowan was taken from the house, put in a cab, and driven away. 

To safety.

To help.

Lorcan watched.

Watched, and waited, and hoped for the very best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[featherymalignancy]

hello so i can hardcore relate to the crying all your makeup off. I got ready made myself all pretty for a fun little zoom date with friends just for my chronic pain to get suddenly worse and for me start sobbing in the middle of my friends hardcore argueing about shrek 3. It’s been a long day

Okay so for your fanfic asks could you answer:

5, 14, 19 and 16

Thank you!

I’m sorry love!! That sounds terrible. I won’t say I “understand” chronic pain but I emphasize with how frustrating (and painful!) dealing with that must be. Just know I’m thinking about you! ♥️

5. What’s a crackship you love? Hmmmm crackship hmm hmmm hmmm. Okay I’m going to stay Fendion (?). Like Fenrys and Aedion am I the only one who feels like they would make a great pair?

14. Post a line of dialogue from one of your WIPs without context “Here’s the thing: the Archeron girls? They’re a package deal. If you don’t respect that, you’re dead in the water.”

16. Describe your WIP that currently has the highest word count. Gotta be In Vino Veritas, right? Basically Cassian is a wine expert and Nesta is a wine lover and they fall into one another orbit and cant get out?

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon? That Azriel hasn’t been in love with Mor for centuries and she’s just too wrapped up in her own stuff to realize/accept it? Umm but actually I read one once where Cassian has a beautiful singing voice and I was a huge fan of that!!

Thanks for asking love. Feel free to ask me more!!

[aelinbitch-archive]

Aelin Content Drinking Game!

take one shot for each occurrence of:

photo of a golden retriever in an edit

dainty candle flame in an edit

wispy white-blonde hair in an edit

close up of blue eyes in an edit

pale, white, pretty, dead-eyed faceclaim

“scars?” what are “scars?”

she loves chocolate! content

she loves cake! content

she loves books! content

best friends with dorian content

best friends with chaol content

“original trio” content

talks like a sugar-high 13 y/o in incorrect quotes

don’t ship rowaelin? *jenna from 30 rock voice* i’m gonna be constructive here. you should kill yourself. 

“heir of ash and fire and she would bow to no one” quote

platonic aelin x lysandra content

wears exclusively paolo sebastion, zuhair murad, and elie saab s/s

castle by halsey is her theme song

she listens to the jonas brothers! she reads fan fiction! she’s a fan girl! modern au’s

quaint instagram au’s with heterosexual wine-mom pinterest aesthetic

“secret plans cool” attitude only acknowledgement of canon grittiness

meme-related headcanons about how she’d love pokemon go or would raid area 51

rowan sam and chaol are the ever-martyred Voices Of Reason putting up with her quirky stupidity

assassin what? enslaved who? depression when? trauma where? child abuse victim qué? alcoholism what? guilt fear rage and self-loathing who? sounds fake honestly

anti edition! take two shots for each occurrence of:

“celery” “alien” (THREE shots: alien assryver whiteporn galahideous)

total willful erasure of her identity as a child of a colonized country (THREE shots if it appears in a hot take about how she’s a colonizer, FOUR shots if it’s suggested that chaol and dorian “take back terrassen” from her)

“she should die”

“bitch”

“she loves herself too much” takes that willfully ignore her self loathing

“everyone kisses her ass” 

ongoing conflict with and criticism from sam, ansel, rolfe, dorian, nehemia, chaol, CHAOL, aedion, darrow, lorcan, and manon who? 

general description of her rise to power as causing mixed feelings of hope, uneasiness, and outrage in the realm when?

“glorified by the narrative” 

“not held accountable” 

“mary sue”

“too much page-time”

“overpowered”  

losing the majority of her powers in koa whom???

unironic reblog of chaolaena content sandwiched between hate-posts

unironic reblog of doraelin content sandwiched between hate-posts

implying that not only is rowan abusive, but she’s complicit in that and it’s a reason to hate her

“past trauma is just to make us feel sorry for her and has no impact on her character - we never see how it manifests. and on that note why is she so secretive and controlling for NO reason?? clearly just sjm trying to make her look cool”

didn’t have a problem with her or anything in tog until either qos when chaolaena sank or eos when malide sank

kaz brekker>>>

Condemning Aelin For Eleven Traits Dorian Havilliard Also Has: now in theaters near you!

“she’s unbearably whiny and should Just Do Something Already For the Love Of God” [OR ALTERNATIVELY] “she’s a bully and a tyrant and doesn’t deserve any power and we should #bringbackcelaena” (THREE shots if these two takes appear within two minutes of each other) 

complaining that she’s the main character

claiming moral superiority and woke points for not enjoying her personality 

everyone is suddenly a military strategist and economics professor with a PhD in medievalism and ready to tell you why aelin would be a terrible queen because of her lack of experience. aragorn fucking around in the woods for sixty years before becoming king in lotr is cool though 

dunyasha = aelin

sjm = aelin

daenerys = aelin and they’re both bad [OR ALTERNATIVELY] aelin is a dany ripoff and dany is better than her and that’s why aelin’s bad (THREE shots if these two takes appear within two minutes of each other)

“her plans are dumb and would never really work. side note i really admire six of crows for its realism”

narrative arc overcoming internalized misogyny where?  

#chaolwestfalldefensesquad

“aelin’s character specifically is autonomous and personally responsible for everything i don’t like about the series, but dorian chaol manon and elide are victims of bad writing and deserved better”

chaorian 

blitz round - bizarre combo of both edition! take three shots for each occurrence of:

fandom-mom brainrot

“the manorian goggles stay ON when we analyze” 

manon>aelin because which one of them was smart enough to fuck dorian? checkmate! 

gay people don’t exist. 14 year old malide shippers are ruining my online experience. everyone stop with the hate :( 

white!manon. straight!manon. 

aelin didn’t let dorian be in charge in eos. TYRANT!!!! HE WAS SIDELINED AND ITS AELIN’S FAULT!!!!! 

“i read tog for the heterosexual side characters :)”

“unpopular opinion: aelin is overrated!”

SJM please let me suck your dick 

attracted to chaol and dorian instead of shipping them with each other

“honestly aelin was so mean to [insert male character] :(((( why does no one ever call her out for that :((((”

[shyvioletcat]

Kingdom of Ash Tour Sydney

Oh my gosh, I’m sorry this took so long. My notes were much more extensive than I thought and then just a lot of poor time management. Anyway, here it is.

A few choice bits of information/quotes:

“Being a dork pays off you guys. Who knew?”

Says Melbourne like a local

Loves our coffee. Says she’s moving here because of it.

Advice to aspiring writers: find someone to share your work with. Giving and getting feedback teaches you so much. Gives you a form of community.

Got into writing because it’s what she loves and it makes her come alive like nothing else does.

Music plays a Huge part in her creative process

Daily writing schedule. Plays with Taran then about 930/10 she starts. Gets admin stuff done first 9-8 job.

Nothing compares to sitting down and writing a scene she’s wanted to write for years and years. Describes it as time stopping and the closest thing to magic, at least for her.

Had a question about her creative circle for bouncing ideas around and talking about her stories. Sarah didn’t talk to her family about her stories at all when she was younger. Doesn’t like her parents reading her books. She referred back to writing ACOTAR and she asked the audience “do you know what it’s like to write an on the page sex scene knowing my father was going to read this?” Said it took her about three glasses of wine to deal with it.

About her dad reading said scenes: He said “I just skip those scenes.” Sarah’s reply “I’ll do you one better. I’ll just rip those pages out.” Then she talked how it was much worse when ACOMAF came out the next year.

Josh has become her creative sounding board over the last few years. He reads the early drafts of Crescent City and lets Sarah ramble to him for hours. She thinks it’s really cute they get to do that.

He thinks he’s every love interest in all her books. At events people ask if he’s what Rhys was modelled from. Josh will say yes. Sarah was very adamantly said it was a no.

Fellow writers help her from looking like a complete idiot. In particular Lynette Noni. Calls her a secret Disney Princess. Has become her can’t live without critique partner.

She said don’t listen to the people who say writing is a dumb dream. But said it’s a long long road to getting published but not impossible. “Don’t ever listen to the haters man.”

Her parents were always incredibly supportive. Her mum would leave snacks outside her door so she wouldn’t disturb her while she wrote

When her parents told her that she needed a job to support herself Sarah didn’t want to listen. But she said they were ultimately right because there are no guarantees in publishing. One of her favourite moments is when she became a New York Times best seller and she got to call and tell her parents. The first thing her mum said was she regretted telling Sarah to be realistic about the expectations of yourself. But Sarah was adamant they were right.

She thanked us and got quite emotional. Thanked us for supporting her books, she was walking around Sydney harbour and thought to herself how lucky I am to do this for a living.

Someone from the audience screamed “I love you” she said “I love you too, I love you all so much” (insert my hysterical tears). She couldn’t express how much she appreciates everything we all have done for her and her family, the fact we have allowed her to live out her dreams. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this being the loveliest group of people I’ve ever had the honour to meet”. SHE LOVES US.

Crescent city

Doesn’t think her parents can read a single page of crescent city. Joking, it’s every other page. Started as excess creative energy, a real passion project. 

Describes it as taking the ToG/ACOTAR worlds and jumping ahead over 3000 years to where they have modern technologies and comforts. Magical creatures living together in complex hierarchies. Feels different because of the modern setting but has familiar aspects, e.g. snarky sassy heroines and brooding sexy muscled men. Says there are so many. So many.

Josh: “why are there so many attractive men in this book?” Sarah “because it’s a fantasy. FAN-TA-SY.”

No real defined plot yet.

Knew it was the story she wanted to tell because of an experience on a plane. Sarah was listening to a piece of music and saw a scene play out and she burst into tears. She didn’t know the characters or how they got there. The scene will be in the first book and is like THE MAJOR BIG SCENE. Kept thinking of that moment of creation and how much it overwhelmed her and that was the deciding factor that that was the next story she needed to tell.

World of Throne of Glass

World of Throne of Glass. Started off as an encyclopaedia. It will be a chronicle that exists in world and Sarah describes it like going into the library of Orynth and pulling it off the shelf. The premise of the book is that Aelin has hired this cranky old scholar to travel around all the kingdoms/continents and includes the travel logs, transcripts from interviews with the characters, insight into how they felt, letters between characters. The book itself is like the the Terrasen courts private copy so it has letters between characters. Glimpses into the future.

BUT THIS MEANS IT WILL COME OUT LATER

ALSO SAID THERE ARE POCKETS OF HISTORY SHE REALLY WANTS TO FILL IN AND THERE’S ALSO LOTS OF STORIES THAT MAYBE ONE DAY SHE MIGHT WANT TO TELL SHE JUST NEEDS TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. SORRY I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS.

Throne of Glass/ACOTAR

The idea of Throne of Glass came to her when she was 15/16 years old. Gripped her like no other story had. Throne of glass has a special place in her heart because it’s what started her on this journey.

Sarah was changing Kingdom of Ash right up the very last minute.

Mystery questions from the lobby:

What would happen if all your villains met?

The thought of Maeve and Amarantha gave her chills to think about. Would they rip each other to shreds or form and unholy alliance? Undecided.

Did you cry during the writing of the final book? If so which moments?

Number one scene. The Thirteen. 

Gave lots of details about when Manon first appeared, a piece of music from the Fright Night remake was playing and she saw the cottage scene play out. She saw Manon disembowel the farmers and how her teeth and claws came out and just thought “I love you”.

Loved witches since she was little because she realised witches were often women with power when women weren’t allowed to have power.

Sarah went to the mat for Manon. She hadn’t sold the rest of the books, only up to Heir of Fire. Writing about Manon gave Sarah her courage and came into her life when she needed her attitude. She said “Over my dead effing body” when editor said to cut Manon.

Sarah listened to a song from the original star wars and that was when she saw the sacrifice of the Thirteen. She needed to have Manon start where she did in Heir of Fire so when we all got to the scene in Kingdom of Ash is would really hit us strongly as it had hit Sarah for the first time. Sarah was sobbing at her desk when she saw them making their final run. She saw then Manon screaming and begging them to to stop because she realised she had a heart and loved them.

Sarah said she needed to lie down afterwards, she considered a happy ending for a moment, but then she thought about how the ladies never get to make the big heroic sacrifice and she really wanted the Thirteen to make the badass sacrifice and she wanted to make that moment when their exploding with light and not darkness absolutely destroyed Sarah.

Happier scene is the last goodbye between the main three, sobbing so hard. Really ugly crying not Frodo crying nicely at the end of The Return of the King, but bodily fluids spraying everywhere. So many tears.

Sarah would also get super amped up. Example: When Elide saves Lorcan she got so amped up she literally straddled her chair like she was riding a horse. (She re-enacted it on stage too). Then it was just more ladies were doing their badass thing like:

as Aelin flies down on the bird and explodes and destroys the wave and then Rowan is like that steam is going to boil every one like lobsters, got to get rid of that.

When Aelin makes her run and Lorcan sees her and he’s crying, you know if Lorcan’s crying some intense shit is going down

Then when Aelin is trying to get the mask off. That hit Sarah hit her so hard, didn’t expect it. Felt physically ill writing it. It was one of the few times Aelin was unhinged and in a panic. Seeing Aelin in a panic out Sarah in a panic.

Aelin has been like a person to Sarah and has carried Sarah through a lot of hard stuff. Sarah has said to herself “my name is Sarah J Maas and I will not be afraid”

Would say “What would Aelin do?” to give herself that swagger. Any time Aelin is in pain Sarah was in pain and would be like “My baby my baby! Let me help you”. 

Such a joy to write. Aelin was telling her and showing Sarah where to go.

ABOUT THE ENDING OF KINGDOM OF ASH: Travelling in Costa Rico to a rainforest exists at cloud level. (Side note from Sarah: Vote for the environment! Do it for the golden toad). One of the most beautiful places she has ever been. Sitting in the backseat listening to music from John Carter of Mars. Sun broke through the clouds and lit up the mountains and Sarah heard the last line of Kingdom of Ash about the kingsflame blooming and she knew what the last line was and that’s what she wanted to get to. She starting crying (surprise surprise) didn’t want to tell her travelling companions so she lied and said she was crying because the view was so beautiful. Writing with Aelin at the helm guaranteed her nothing. Aelin did it though, she stuck to Sarah’s plans and Sarah got the ending she wanted.

Call out from the audience about Gavriel. Uproar from the audience. “Why did you do that!?” “Why would I do that? Because I’m a horrible person.” Any time a hot guy full of muscles dies it’s a sad day. Poor Aedion. “It would have been so hot! Not in a weird way! The two of them hanging out, the lion and the wolf and oh my heart... you mean I have no heart, that’s what you’re thinking.” Evil cackle.

Who of all your characters do you see sitting in a rocking chair and knitting and telling their grandchildren the wildest stories in their old age?

Throne of Glass. Dorian. Don’t know why.

ACOTAR world would 1000% be Cassian. Nessian book will come out after Crescent City. She started it just for fun, hadn’t planned to write last ACOWAR. Sarah was out to lunch with her editor and got a little drunk and pitched her other books, but then forgot. Agent called a few weeks later telling her the editor wants to buy these books.

She literally doesn’t have the time to get all the stories she wants out of her. Wishes she had Hermione’s time turner.

So that’s it. Again, sorry it took me so long. Sarah was so lovely and I still can’t believe I got to see her in person. There’s a lot I took away from her talk for myself, mainly just how adamant she was about being yourself is the way to go. We’re better off when we’re true to ourselves and love the tings we love without feeling bad for it. 

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 5 - 6

“Last chapter was probably my favorite, and gave me hope that maybe everything won’t be so bad.” -a fool’s last words.

Aelin stared and stared at that piece of paper, at the names that had been signed long before tonight, the men who had decided against her without meeting her, the men who had changed her future, her kingdom, with just their signatures.

I feel like SJM is trying to make us feel sorry for Aelin, but.... no? She hasn’t proved herself worthy of being a queen at all! She flat out admits that these men have never met her - does she really expect these people to hand over the throne of their kingdom to someone they’ve never met?!?!?! WHAT IS gOING ON WHERE IS THE LOGIC

Aelin breathed, “Our doom gathers in the South of Adarlan—yet this is what you focus on?”

Umm yeah because the ruler of the kingdom is a very important job and one that is needed for war?? They need a strong leader to help guide them through the upcoming battles, Darrow is absolutely right to be concerned about this.

“The Bane,” Darrow spat, “is now ours to command. In the event that there is no fit ruler on the throne, the lords control the armies of Terrasen.”

You go Darrow! He’ll be the leader Terrasen needs and defend his kingdom while Aelin prances around demanding her crown be handed to her without her doing any work and threatening anyone who refuses to kiss her ass.

Something cold and oily clanged through [Aelin]. Marriage to a foreign king or prince or emperor. Would this be the cost? Not just in blood shed, but in dreams yielded? To be a princess eternal, but never a queen? To fight with not just magic, but the other power in her blood: royalty.

Hoo boy, the “I can’t marry for love but I have to marry for my kingdom” trope. I don’t mind this trope if it’s done well ( I guess I’m a sucker for that drama) but SJM is either gonna A. sweep it under the rug afterwards and never address it again, or B. milk the angst for all it’s worth and then come up with a last minute solution that doesn’t make Aelin have to make any decisions or compromises or work for her happy ending.

She had laughed once at Dorian—laughed and scolded him for admitting that the thought of marriage to anyone but his soul-bonded was abhorrent. She’d chided him for choosing love over the peace of his kingdom.

Karma is a bitch ain’t it

Aelin spoke into the dark, toward where Darrow was seated. “I suggest, Lord Darrow, that you become accustomed to this. For if we lose this war, darkness will reign forever.” There was a scratch and a hiss—then a match sputtered as it lit a candle on the table. Darrow’s wrinkled, hateful face flickered into view. “Men can make their own light, Heir of Brannon.”

Darrow literally takes no shit!! Why isn’t there fanart and posts dedicated to this bad ass old warrior instead of countless fans gushing over Aelin? Seriously, I’d ask for a Darrow backstory novel but SJM would fuck it up, no doubt.

But Aelin looked to Ren, his face tight. And over the roaring in her head, she said, “Whether or not you vote in my favor, there is a spot for you in this court. For what you helped Aedion and the captain do. For Nehemia.”

*chokes back on sobs* I miss when it was just Nehemia, Aelin, Dorian, and Chaol in the glass castle..... they really were simpler times.

Darrow expresses that Nehemia was a better princess than Aelin is (which is true) and references her death and Rowan fuckin’ threatens to kill him. So gg, you all are just proving Darrow’s point that none of you are fit for the responsibility of ruling/helping Aelin rule.

A messenger arrives and informs them that Rifthold will soon be under attack from the Ironteeth witches.

Aelin wondered if Manon Blackbeak would be leading the attack—if it’d be a blessing. The Wing Leader had saved them once before, but only as a payment for a life debt. She doubted the witch would feel obliged to throw them a bone anytime soon.

Ohhh is this foreshadowing that Manon is going to join Aelin’s side or am I reading into this too much? I’m worried that SJM is gonna reduce Manon to just another blind follower of Aelin hnghhh.....

Rowan’s hand brushed [Aelin’s]. “I will save him,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t ask this of you unless it was … Dorian is vital. Lose him, and we lose any support in Adarlan.” And one of the few magic-wielders who could stand against Morath.

Uhh and you’d lose one of your first friends you made after you were freed from the mines? The guy who you were once in love with? Seriously, she’s talking about Dorian as if he’s some weapon right now and not one of her best friends! I s2g as soon as Aelin met Rowan it was like Chaol and Dorian never existed in the first place and all that development she had with them got swept under the rug.

Since Darrow said that they needed allies, Aelin plots for them all to meet up in Skull’s Bay after Rowan rescues Dorian. Wait.... Skull’s Bay is from The Assassin’s Blade. But that means-

“I thought you knew Rolfe,” Aedion said. Aelin gave him a grim smile. “He and I parted on … bad terms, to say the least. But if Rolfe can be turned to our side…”

Rolfe!!! He was another interesting character from the first book (not a good guy, if I remember correctly, he owned slaves) who actually made Aelin work in order to beat him and gain victory. I’m excited to meet him again.

Alone with Rowan, Aelin said, “Darrow expects me to take this order lying down. But if we can rally a host in the South, we can push Erawan right onto the blades of the Bane.” “It still might not convince Darrow and the others—” “I’ll deal with that later,” she said, spraying water as she shook her head. “For now, I have no plans to lose this war because some old bastard has learned he likes playing king.”

Uhh fuck you?? For acting like Darrow is the bad guy here?? He cares about his kingdom and rather than let his grief over his deceased lover consume him, he fights hard to protect his people and makes sure the crown doesn’t go to anyone who will start a war over the stupidest shit. Fuck you Aelin, Darrow would be a much better ruler than you.

But if Rowan was caught, if Dorian was caught … “I can’t—I can’t let you go—” “You can,” he said with little room for argument. The voice of her prince commander. “And you will.” Rowan again traced her mouth. “When you find me again, we will have that night. I don’t care where, or who is around.”

That really is their only motivation at this point, huh? Aelin just wants this war to be over so she can bone her fae prince whenever she wants without any interruptions. I need a drink.

So Rowan leaves in hawk form to go rescue Dorian and Evangeline is going to stay with Murtaugh, since Aelin at least has the sense to not bring a child to a pirate paradise.

Aelin kissed the girl’s cheek and whispered into her ear, “Work your magic on these miserable old men while you’re at it.” She pulled away to wink at the girl. “Win me back my kingdom, Evangeline.”

I almost felt my heart melt at this cute interaction, but then I remembered that Aelin means Darrow and SJM wants the audience to hate him and that mood flew out the window. I’ll be the only Darrow stan on this website if I have to, damnit.

Aedion said to Ren, “Unless you want to swap one tyrant for another, I suggest you get the Bane and any others ready to push from the North.” Murtaugh answered for his grandson, “Darrow means well—” “Darrow,” Aedion interrupted, “is now a man of limited days.”

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK AEDION!!!! Darrow rightfully denies Aelin the crown and you’re gonna fucking murder him? You need his alliance if you’re gonna win this war holy shit y’all are so fucking stupid!

Aelin said, “We don’t touch Darrow.” “What?” Aedion snapped. Aelin said, “I’d bet all my money that he’s already taken the steps to ensure that if he meets an untimely death, we never set foot in Orynth again.” Murtaugh gave her a grim, confirming nod. Aelin shrugged. “So we don’t touch him. We play his game—play by rules and laws and oaths.”

For once Aelin is finally using another method of negotiation other than killing people but stop framing Darrow as if he’s ~evil~ for not giving you your crown when you’ve done nothing to prove to any of the lords that you’re fit to rule! I am utterly baffled that SJM really thinks Darrow is in the wrong here.

So Murtaugh has been loyal to Aelin’s family, treated her with respect and kindness, and offered to look after Evangeline while they’re gone, so Aelin.... slices her palm and threatens him that if anything happens to Evangeline she will burn all of them. I’m not even joking.

Aelin clenched her bloodied palm into a fist, holding it in the air between them. “Because of that loyalty, you will understand what blood promises mean to me when I say if that girl comes to harm, physical or otherwise, I do not care what laws exist, what rules I will break.” Lysandra had now turned to them, her shifter senses detecting blood. “If Evangeline is hurt, you will burn. All of you.”

Seriously, can someone tell me if I’m going crazy?? AELIN THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE YOUR ALLIES YOU CAN’T GODDAMN THREATEN ALL OF THEM!!!!! Murtaugh has not said one bad word to you and you’re threatening to burn him!!! WHAT THE FUCK AELIN THIS IS WHY YOU ARE NOT QUEEN YOU STUPID DKAHDFJAHFKDH

“Threatening your loyal court?” sneered a cold voice as Darrow halted a few feet away.

Oh thank god Darrow is here, a character who isn’t brain dead stupid. Seriously, number 1 Darrow stan right here.

Her heart strained, but Aelin said to Ren, that scar hidden by the shadows of his rain-drenched hood, “I wish we had time to speak. Time for me to explain.” “You’re good at walking away from this kingdom. I don’t see why now would be different.”

HOLY SHIT REN IS JOINING IN THE AELIN ROASTING!!! Ren and Darrow are the only good people in this entire goddamn kingdom.

Aelin said, “I promise you that no matter how far I go, no matter the cost, when you call for my aid, I will come. I promise you on my blood, on my family’s name, that I will not turn my back on Terrasen as you have turned your back on me. I promise you, Darrow, that when the day comes and you crawl for my help, I will put my kingdom before my pride and not kill you for this. I think the true punishment will be seeing me on the throne for the rest of your miserable life.”

>IMPLYING THAT DARROW WILL EVER NEED YOUR HELP YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO CAN’T EVEN GET THROUGH A SIMPLE MEETING WITHOUT ALMOST STABBING SOMEONE

I FUCKING HATE AELIN SO MUCH TO THINK I WAS ON THE FENCE BEFORE HOLY FUUUUCK

Ungh... I can do this. So they finally get their asses moving and Aelin sees the Little Folk have left her another present.

Brannon’s temple on the coast had been rendered carefully—a clever little contraption of twigs and rocks to form the pillars and altar … And on the sacred rock in its center, they’d created a white stag from raw sheep’s wool, his mighty antlers no more than curling thorns.

Obvious foreshadowing is obvious.

Finally chapter 6 holy shit. Chapter 4 gave me hope that the book was picking up but chapter 5 just shit all over my hopes and dreams.

Dorian Havilliard, King of Adarlan, hated the silence.

Dorian’s POV! Sadly since the books utterly forgot of his existence aside from torturing him emotionally after book 2, Dorian doesn’t get a lot of attention anymore. I liked him in the first three books, but given what happened to the other characters, let’s see how SJM butchers him..........

He lifted his hands before the view, his palms callused from the exercises and swordplay he’d made himself start learning once more.

A ruler who teaches himself how to fight in order to help protect his kingdom? Fuck yeah.

Dorian has some inner turmoil about being held captive and tortured and the revelation that his father had been possessed by a demon for years, and it’s.... good? It’s well written, Dorian’s problems are understandable and sympathetic, and he’s clearly taking precautions so it doesn’t happen again. Nicely done!

Dorian flexed his fingers, frost sparking in his palm. Raw magic—yet there was no one here to teach him. No one he dared ask.

I mean, the poor guy can’t even control his magic because all his friends who have magic are off pretending to be a good queen. *glares at Aelin*

He was halfway through the pillars of books and papers when he spied the horizon. When his city began screaming. Spreading into the distance, blotting out the sunset like a storm of bats, flew a legion of wyverns. Each bore armed witches, roaring their battle cries to the color-stained sky.

And here we go! I’m hoping for a good action scene, since the witches are so badass (even though I feel bad for Dorian and his people). We also switch to Manon’s POV.

With the height and distance, Manon fully beheld the carnage as the horizon at last revealed the sprawl of the capital city. The attack had begun without her. Iskra’s legion was still falling upon it, still spearing for the palace and the glass wall that crested over the city at its eastern edge.

This build up is really good! I’m excited to see Manon kick ass (even though again, the people she’s fighting are innocent).

Manon aimed Abraxos for the stone castle atop the hill, barely peeking above that shining glass wall—the wall she had been ordered to bring down— and hoped she had not been too late in one regard. And that she knew what the hell she was doing.

A cliffhanger to end the chapter. Although the wording leaves me to believe Manon isn’t actually going to do any fighting, but we’ll have to wait and see.

[mayhemories]

Listen up ToG Fandom...

My last account got hacked so I have to repost this:

I’m writing an au fanfiction called: Braids & War Paint. 

It’s a fic about the Crown Princess of Terassen and how she gets along with the Prince of Doranelle, Rowan Whitethorn when he comes to her home on a diplomatic mission. 

I know it sound shitty but I have a few sneaky things I’ll weave into it. 

However, I have a few notes on the fanfic that you should know about:

This is my first ever ToG fanfic. 

Maeve won’t be 100% bitch, more like 60-65% 

Lyria isn’t dead, however she was Rowan’s partner for a very long time but they just drifted apart. The love they had is valid.

Rowan’s tattoo’s are the story of how he lost many soldiers under his command. He feels responsible and wants to make sure their stories are told.

Rowan has not taken the blood oath but he is apart of the cadre. He represents the Whitethorn loyalty to Maeve and Doranelle 

Aelin’s parents and uncle aren’t dead

Aelin has been specially trained. She is powerful.

Aelin went to Endovier, although not for the same reason. 

The King of Adarlan is not a complete evil, power hungry prick, just a little dominant.

The Valg have no links to Adarlan at all, however, they’ll be in this fanfic. 

Dorian will still have his powers, why? Because he’s the mysterious witch charmer that every girl and her wyvern wants in their beds.

Galan Ashryver will be in this fanfic because I love him and he’s such an underrated character.  

Gavriel will not be Aedion’s father in my fic. Don’t get me wrong, I love that they are related in the books but it just wouldn’t work in this fic and I want it to flow.

Aelin did have relationships with: Sam, Dorian and Chaol.

I love how Sarah J. Maas creates worlds, espesially the Fae world and traditions. I’ve made some of my own lore and I don’t mean to offend anyone that my traditions/lore are obviously not Sarah’s. 

I just want to write what you guys want to read: fluff, smut, angst etc. But I’ve never written smut before, if you guys want it message me. I’ll do any ships, even if they aren’t my ships.

Under no circumstance will I write an “abuse fic” I feel that they trigger to many people (as well as how damaging it would be to write). This is a kind space that accepts everyone no matter who you are. 

Unpopular opinion: I don’t enjoy Chaol Westfall as a character, this does not mean I will make him a villain, jealous ex boyfriend, rapist, creep etc. (yes I’ve seen all those examples in fan fics before.) Just because I don’t really likes him doesn’t mean you have to read him as a ‘bad character’ because he isn’t a bad character, he’s just not my cup of tea. 

Thank you so much if you read all that. 

Much love and many apologies to those who have read this or gave this notes previously. 

-El. 

[iamthebonecarver]

CRYING CORNER™ (SJM accent challenge)

Id just like to say ahead of time, Im sorry for the length of the videos and i am sorry you have to click for the link but since i had to post them on youtube due to the size i didnt want them open to everyone so i made it so you can only watch them if you have their links. Also a quick sorry about them being videos but i didnt feel like learning how to post audio files onto tumblr. 

SJM ACCENT CHALLENGE #1

 CLICK FOR LINK TO THE VIDEO BECAUSE ITS YOUTUBE AND IM LAZY AND YOU CAN ONLY SEE IT IF YOU HAVE THE LINK

I know I did a whole intro already and waaaaayyyy too much babbling but I was tagged by @songbirdsbooks @acourtoftears @wingsofanillyrian

This is the elriel fic I was talking about https://iamthebonecarver.tumblr.com/post/161184198378/the-secrets-of-fate-elriel-oneshot

And then this is the other one I really like the concept of https://iamthebonecarver.tumblr.com/post/161908601458/now-listen-here-fandom

If I missed any other links I said if add, let me know so I can add them.

(While I was copying the questions I realized I didn’t answer one so the answer is yes. I defiantly will be reading the ACOTAR novellas)

Here are the questions I answered: •Name and username •Where are you from? •Pronounce the following words: 
Archeron, Rhysand, Cresseida, Thesan, Rhoe Galathynius, Illyrian, Manon, Abraxos, Prythian, Lucien, Ianthe, Suriel, Bryaxis, Cerridwen and Nuala, Elide, Velaris, Rowan Whitethorn, Chaol Westfall, Yrene Towers, Nehemia Ytger, Rifthold, Adarlan, Chrocan, Kaltain Rompier, Sorscha, Dorian Havilliard, Lyria, Asterion horse, Valg, Eyllwe, wyrdmarks, rowaelin, feysand •How did you find out about the books? •When did you start reading them? •Favorite character from TOG? •Favorite character from ACOTAR? •Have you read The Assassin’s Blade? Do you plan on reading the ACOTAR Novellas? •Favorite ship/s? •Read a page from your favorite book from TOG (or ACOTAR) Which scene destroyed you the most? •If you read fanfiction, name your favorite or some of your favorites •Fave headcanons? •Favorite quote/s? •If you could choose any piece of media to readapt the Maasverse in, what would you choose? (e.g: movie(s), tv show(s), animation, a musical, videogames, etc) •TOG or ACOTAR? Why? •Which would be your ACOTAR Court? Why? •And last but not least, say 3 unpopular opinions. Do it, go off

I’m not tagging anyone cause everyone and their mother has done this already in the fandom. So instead, if you haven’t done it, considered yourself tagged by me right now.

_________________________________

SJM ACCENT CHALLENGE #2

CLICK FOR THE LINK CAUSE IM LAZY AND ITS YOUTUBE SO YOU CAN ONLY SEE IT IF YOU HAVE THE LINK

So I was not tagged in this second challenge that started going around. BUT….. when I first saw it, it was literally 5 minutes after I filmed the first one and I was originally going to wait to get tagged a couple of times but it was 2 ish in the morning and I was like fuck it! Let’s post them together! Gonna knock out everything! So yea. Also I saw the post from a reblog by @azrielsiphons who reblogged it from @manontrashbeak

Its really just a lot of rambling. OH! Here are the links: https://iamthebonecarver.tumblr.com/post/162211836153/aedion-i-know-im-the-bi-cousin-but-there-are-a

Questions: •You have one hour to spend with a member of the Inner Circle. Who and why? •If Aelin, Manon, or Dorian has to be sacrificed in TOG, who do you think it should be? •What would one hour alone with Amren be like for you? •Are you more of a smut fan or a fluff fan? DON’T LIE •Voice your feelings on Mort the doorknocker, King of Sass™ •Fly with Illyrians or fly with the Thirteen? •GIVE RHYSAND A LAST NAME •Consider and respond to the fact that: Sam Cortland is dead (I’m sorry, I just really want to hear everyone flail in real time the way we do on the internet) •Describe your fav character from TOG and ACOTAR in one word. •What’s that one (or more) ship that everyone else loves but you just…. don’t? •What character do you want to bring back from the dead the most? •What character do you REALLY NEED A NOVELLA ABOUT RIGHT NOW? •What are your theories on Nesta’s favoritism of Elain over Feyre? •Are you looking forward to Tower of Dawn or not? BE HONEST •Would you ever name your child or a pet after a book character? If so, who? (Doesn’t necessarily have to be an SJM character) - •Did you like the ending of ACOWAR? Be brutally honest (but remain kind please).

I just went through the questions again after copying and pasting them and I realized I left out a few that I honestly didn’t even see last night when I filmed these. SOOOOO if you want to know the answers, send me an Ask and I’ll answer ☺️ Or if you have any other questions for me in general about the books (literally any not just SJM) or you want to hear an opinion or theory just send in and Ask. I love doing that kind of thing.. you know analyzing books and theories and shit like that.

I will not be tagging a lot of people on this because I feel bad when I forget people so instead, if you want to do this second challenge then consider yourself tagged by me right now. @wingsofanillyrian @highladyofthedark @songbirdsbooks @togloveralltheway

[throne-of-no]

Character Rant #2

               I haven’t done one of these in a while and since I’ve got some time on my hands to really write out my thoughts about a character, here is what you’re stuck with. Just like my other one, I’m only going to talk about two problems that I’ve noticed with a character because let’s be honest, if I didn’t these things would be a mile long and even less coherent.

               The character I decided to write about this time is none other than Aelin! I’ve been reading Empire of Storms for the last week and let me tell you, I thought I hated her as much as my hating capacity could hate in Queen of Shadows. I was dead wrong. So very wrong. I wanted to throw my book whenever she was pissing me off, which was literally every minute. Let’s dive right into this and talk about the first reason this character is a terrible character!

She is literally a tyrannical ruler.

I get it. She’s queen and queens are supposed to be people who set laws and whatever. But Aelin is not a good ruler she is a tyrannical ruler who only wants everything her way and if she doesn’t get her way, she will do anything—anything—to ensure she does get her way.

I was utterly disgusted in Queen of Shadows when she self-inserted herself as queen when Dorian was passed out somewhere and then threatened everyone’s lives. “…If you cause one lick of trouble, I will find you and I will burn you.” (QoS, Pg. 585) She then made herself the ruler of the land and, without getting counsel from the actual king, went ahead and started making rules for the land just because she thought she knew best.  “Your slaves are now free people. If I catch you holding on to your slaves, if I hear a household keeping them captive, you are dead” (QOS, Pg. 586). I’m sorry, but who does she think she is just making rules for a kingdom she was planning to give back as soon as Dorian was awake and well? You don’t make these decisions, Aelin. You can’t self-insert yourself as their queen for a day, tell them you will give the throne back and then be like “Oh btw here are new rules for you to follow because I am queen.”  The whole point was for you to keep people from rioting. You’re adding even more tension by announcing that all slaves are free. You don’t make that decision! On a side note because someone is going to message me calling me a slavery support or something, I’m not a slave supporter, but what she did was extremely wrong because it helped in no way. She should have waited for Dorian to be awake to announce slavery was over or better yet, not bring it up herself. This was the first look of Tyrannical Aelin and I was not all about that.

Let’s move into EoS where she became even MORE of a tyrannical queen because seriously, I don’t know how anyone, fans and also antis don’t talk about how utterly scary this part was.

Aelin literally blackmailed Rolfe by bringing the valg to their shores and plainly gambling all the residents’ lives just because Rolfe told her he wouldn’t help her. And she tries to defend herself by saying “I told you, Rolfe, that Endovier taught me some things.” (EoS, Pg. 301) Like what? I’d think it would have taught you never to be like those people who locked you up. To not force people to do something they want no part in. Instead, it seems you learned that the slavers of Endovier knew how to get what they wanted. Also, the fact that she’s totally fine with innocent people just to blackmail Rolfe into helping her is just sickening. The only agenda she cares about is her own. Also, she is literally forcing the Mycenians to fight for her. She saved their butts and now they must repay her for doing so. If they don’t she’d probably burn them all alive. It will probably go down in their history books as the day they were blackmailed by the queen and manipulated.

What drives me even more insane is the page after that quote, you move to Dorian’s POV and he has no problem with her plan at all. He literally says this about Aelin: Aelin was insane, Dorian realized. Brillian and wicked, but insane. ( EoS Pg. 303) I’m sorry but what? You have no problem with any of this?!?! How?!?! She’s using people for her own plans and risking so many innocents just to make sure she gets her way. That is not a queenly thing at all. That is what I call a brat.

 Aelin the liar/planner

This one pisses me the hell off.

You can’t read anything in this book when Aelin is in the conversation because you can’t believe anything the woman is saying. There’s a 75% chance she is lying because she has some grand master plan that she has had since the beginning that will happen and so everything this conversation is about is null and void because she’s already got everything worked out. I’m sorry to say, but plans don’t work like that. You can’t have a master grand plan that everyone is apart of but not tell anyone in the party about it. How do you even know person A, B, C, and D will do what you need in the plan without telling them of your plan? I mean seriously, the whole thing where Lysandra and her planned for Lysanda to learn how to turn into a sea creature by going to the temple was the plan. 

Not only that but Aelin lies to everyone, even me, the reader. She did it in QoS about the blood oath to Aedion. She does it to almost everyone else, too so that they don’t know what her full plan is. And to the reader, Sarah writes by talking about something so vague and then 10-20 chapters later she reveals that Aelin used this thing that was talked about 10-20 chapters before and it was super important to the plot and Aelin used it to plan a super complex plan that only she could know about and didn’t tell anyone else. It just makes her so untrustworthy. And, yes, I know the author hide things from readers and that’s fine. Great. I do it a few times in my own writing. But when you do it so much it turns into me reading and think to myself: “I know she’s lying. I know she’s planning something. I know this is not true. Ah, there’s the giant plan that I knew Aelin had thought of since the beginning. :D” and it just makes her such an unreliable person to read from because you don’t know if her thoughts are true or if they are false and if she’s planning something. It honestly makes me so angry!!

Hope you enjoyed this character rant.

-R

[darling-cas]

Give Me Love, 7

Throne Of Glass High School AU

Summary: He thinks she wants nothing to do with him. She thinks he can’t remember her. Aelin and Rowan were friends once upon a time. But high school drove them apart. However, one night - one party - is about to change not only their lives, but the lives of their friend as well.

Give Me Love Masterlist

————————————

Thursday Afternoon:

“You know what I call this?”

Aelin raised a questioning eyebrow at Lysandra from across the lunchroom table.

“Soggy pizza?” Nehemia held up her lunch, the piece flopping back and forth. “How the hell are they able to sell this to us?”

“I’m not talking about the pizza.” Lysandra shot Nehemia a look, looking slightly annoyed no one was catching on to what she was trying to say. She spread her arms wide, waving them around the table. “I’m talking about this. I call this a disaster.”

Aelin looked around. She still didn’t fully understand what Lysandra was talking about. For a Thursday, the lunchroom was just like it always was; poorly lit with loud noises and bad horrible food.

“What the hell are you getting on with?” Aelin tilted her head slightly as she turned back to Lysandra.

“Remember,” Nehemia let her pizza fall back on her tray. “We don’t speak Lysandra.”

“Ha. Funny.” Rolling her green eyes, Lysandra leant forward on her eyebrows. “Look around. It’s only us at our table. Elide, poor soul, is probably in the bathroom eating lunch. Manon is sitting with the thirteen. Not that that is a bad thing. And Aedion is avoiding me for some unknown reason. And this all happened because of the party. So. I’m calling this a disaster.”

All this, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by Aelin.

Monday, she spent the whole lunch period in the bathroom with Elide. The poor girl cried her heart out, until she finally told Aelin she just wanted to be alone. She had yet to spend a lunch time in the cafeteria.

As for Manon, she was sitting just a few tables over with her thirteen. Where she always sat before Elide came along. Then she started dividing her time between sitting with her thirteen and sitting with Aelin and co.

Aelin didn’t doubt that Manon knew what happened between her and Lorcan. The whole damn school talked about it all Monday. And Aelin knew all this would be fixed if Manon would just listen. But, that was damn near impossible at the moment, and she would know because she actually tried Tuesday. If looks could kill, Aelin would have dropped dead.

Aedion, was another story. Aelin knew why he was avoiding Lysandra. But she didn’t tell her that. This was none of her business. This was all Aedion. And even though Lysandra was her best friend, family trumped friends in this situation. Aedion had things to figure out and she was more then happy to respect that.

Aelin stabbed her salad, a sigh leaving her lips. She chew on the dry lettuce, her eyes glancing around the room before stopping on a table on the other end of the cafeteria.

She watched Rowan. Her stomach knotting as she swallowed her food. He was talking with Connall, eating a piece of pizza as he nodded at something that was said.

It had been almost a week since Aelin woke up in his house, and aside from the look they shared in the hallway Monday, they haven't crossed paths.

But damn it if he wasn’t on her mind all the time.

In the morning, in class, after school, when she was in bed, he was always on her mind. And her eyes always seemed to find him in the crowd. She just couldn't get his messy white hair, those pine-green eyes and him standing shirtless before her out of her mind.

Aelin shook the thoughts out. In all honesty, she didn’t know why she was avoiding him. Part of her felt it was maybe because of Chaol. But she didn’t have a solid reason why she didn't want to talk to him. But she just… couldn’t. She didn’t know what she would say, if he even wanted to talk to her. Maybe that morning he was just being nice because she was so drunk. She didn’t even bring his clothes back to him yet.

“You’re staring.” Lysandra broke through her thoughts in a sing-song voice. “Again.”

“Shut up.” Aelin looked down at her food, stabbing the salad but not eating it.

“Oh my god, you’re not even denying it.” Lysandra was basically bouncing in her chair as she smiled. “You like Rowan Whitethorn.”

“I’m starting to think the only way to shut you up is by cutting off your tongue.” Aelin snapped back.

Lysandra opened her mouth to make another comment, but Nehemia cut it.

“Leave her alone, Lys.” Turning so she was facing Aelin, Nehemia leaned in. As if she didn't want Lysandra to hear. “Have you talked to Chaol yet?”

Aelin snorted, simply shaking her head. She suddenly felt exhausted.

After Dorian was a dead end, Aelin knew she had no other choice but to go to Chaol. If she wanted to find out what happened between them that night, that is. Of course, she could try Dorian again. There was a chance that Chaol had talked to him at this point. But Aelin didn’t want to risk it. Dorian was just as curious as her. If she went to him again, he’d start asking his own questions.

“Seriously Aelin.” Lysandra said as Nehemia sighed. “It's almost been a week. Don’t you think it's about time you figured out if you and Chaol had sex or not.”

“In case you have forgotten.” Aelin turned her glare towards Lysandra. “Chaol isn’t my number one fan at the moment. We haven't had an actual conversation since the summer.”

“Lys is right,” Nehemia said. “You need to figure this out.”

“Sooner rather than later.” Lysandra added.

“And how do you bring that up to someone?” Aelin sat back against her chair, arms crossed. “‘Hey ex-boyfriend. Listen, want to tell me if we had sex last weekend? I was too drunk to remember.’”

Lysandra nodded her head. “Sounds about right.”

“You can start by going up to him and seeing what he knows from that night.” Nehemia took a sip from her water bottle. “Maybe he’ll tell you without you having to even ask.”

“Yeah, doubt it.” Aelin ran a hand through her hair. “Look. I know what you guys are saying is true. And I do want to get this piece of info out of the way. But I don’t even know where to find Chaol right now. It’s not like we exchanged schedules at the start of the year.”

“He has study hall. So he’ll be in the library.”

Aelin and Nehemia both turned to Lysandra, watching as she pulled out her nail filer from her bag before looking up.

“What?” She shrugged. “I know these things.”

“Don’t you have study hall right now too?” Nehemia asked Aelin after a moment.

She nodded. It wasn’t surprising that she never crossed Chaol’s path seen that they had the same study hall. Aelin usually skipped unless she had work that really needed to be done.

“I do.” Aelin replied, but didn’t make a move as she poked at her food.

After a few moments, Aelin looked up. She found Lysandra and Nehemia watching her, both with raised eyebrows.

With a sigh, Aelin stood up, placing her bag on her shoulder. “Fine. I’m going.”

Aelin took a deep breath in through her nose, the double glass doors of the library closing shut behind her.

The school's library was massive. There was a giant desk right next to the doors housed by the librarian, while tons of tables were set up throughout for students to sit and study. Tables along one side held the computers and rows and rows of shelves, full of books, lined the floor.

Taking a quick glance around, Aelin walked farther into the library. It only took her a few minutes to find Chaol, sitting at the table him and Dorian always sat at.

He was bent over the desk, glancing between the book opened next to him and his notebook as he took notes. And Aelin suddenly felt a knot in her stomach.

Their relationship, it was rocky at best. Chaol was her first boyfriend since she lost Sam. He wasn't a bad boyfriend, she knew Chaol loved her. But, he only loved parts of her. The parts she showed the world, the parts of her that weren’t hurting. And that wasn’t enough for Aelin.

So they broke up, and Aelin spent the whole summer travelling with her parents. She spent the summer healing and learning to be herself again.

While the break up was what she wanted, Aelin knew Chaol was hurt. She was hurt. A part of her loved Chaol. But, as she stood here now, watching him, she knew what she did was right. Even if Chaol hated her at the moment for it.

“Hey,” Aelin spoke softly as she walked over to the table. She watched as Chaol’s shoulders tensed, his whole body freezing for a moment before he continued writing. “Is this seat taken?”

Chaol didn’t glance up. Aelin just stood there for a long moment, watching as he wrote down his notes.

“Okay then,” Aelin pulled out the seat, placing her bag on the ground next to her as she sat down.

No one spoke for what felt like the longest time. Chaol didn’t so much as glance her way. Aelin simply sat there, leaning back in her chair as she tried to figure out what to say.

“That’s unsettling, just so you know.” The sound of Chaol’s voice actually almost made Aelin jump. But he still didn’t look up. “Having you watch me like that.”

“You use to like me watching you at one point.” Aelin kept her voice light, hopping the little joke would warm the space around them. But it seemed to do the opposite.

“Yeah.” Chaol’s knuckled turned white as he clenched his pen. “I liked a lot of things at one point.”

Aelin tensed. She knew Chaol was still hurting about the summer and everything else, but she honestly didn’t think he was this bitter about it. Then again, he did say he loved her, and her response was “I’m sorry”.

With a sigh, Chaol finally looked up from his notebook. His bronze eyes glowing as they blazed into hers.

“What do you want, Aelin?”

He sounded exhausted as he spoke. Almost as if talking to her was taking up all his energy.

Sitting up a bit straighter, Aelin took a moment to think about what to say.

“What do you remember from the party Friday?” That seemed to be the safest thing to ask at the moment. She’d listen to Nehemia and find out what Chaol knew before going any farther.

Chaol raised an eyebrow as silence fell around them. He dropped his pen on his notebook before slowly leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.

“I remember you were wasted drunk,” Chaol finally said. “Which is probably why you’re here trying to get answers out of me about why we were upstairs in a room together. If you even remember that bit.”

Aelin blinked in surprise, slightly taken back. She expected Chaol to say he hardlly remembered much. She expected him to say he was completely wasted Friday night. Why else would he willingly go upstairs with her when he could hardly look at her right now.

“Nehemia.” Aelin said as if it was the answer. She paused for a moment before clarifying. “She was the one who told me that we went upstairs together.”

“So you don’t remember anything?”

Aelin shook her head before sighing. She took a moment, rubbing a hand over her face and through her hair before looking Chaol dead in the eyes.

“Look. I know you’re not that… fond of me at the moment.” Aelin folded her arms on the desk, leaning forward. “And I honestly don't remember half of the party. So I just need to know. Did we sleep together that night?”

It was now Chaol’s turn to look surprised. He watched her for a few moments, eyes narrowed, before a smile slowly started to form.

Aelin thought she was seeing things at first. She honestly couldn't remember the last time Chaol smiled at her. And yet, a full blown smile was now taking form on his face. The silence around them broke as Chaol let out a laugh.

“You know. If we never had sex before, I’d so take this the wrong way.” Aelin crossed her arms as she sat back against her chair.

“No,” Chaol shook his head, the smile still on his face. “No. We didn’t sleep together.”

Aelin mentally sighed. A wave of relief washed over her for a moment, before she realized that she still had no clue about what happened that night.

“Then why did we go upstairs together?”

Chaol didn’t answer right away. Instead, he watched her for a moment. Studying her. The smile slowly fell, but didn’t completely leave his lips.

“You came up to me late that night,” Chaol said. “You were… drunk. And you started babbling about how sorry you were for everything and how you didn’t mean to ruin our friendship.” The corners of Chaol’s lips started to turn up again. “I realized how un-Aelin like you were acting. And I didn’t want your reputation to be ruined. So I took you upstairs to talk in private.”

Aelin didn't know what to say. She just continued to watch Chaol as he paused. He glanced down for a moment before looking up again. The smile completely gone now.

“You told me that you loved me, and you knew I loved you. But it wasn’t enough.” Chaol’s voice was softer, quieter, as he spoke. “And you said you were sorry about that. You said you were so so sorry. And then, you thanked me.”

Aelin kept the surprise off her face as she locked her gaze with Chaol’s.

“You thanked me for helping you heal. For showing you love again. For making you feel again.”

Chaol paused for a moment. Their gazes stayed locked as Aelin felt the air around them shift. Everything suddenly felt more opened, more raw. It suddenly occurred to Aelin that this was actually the first time they ever talked about their feelings and how they felt after they broke up.

It occurred to her that they were getting their closure.

Chaol sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he shrugged. “And then you hugged me and we went back downstairs. So no.” Chaol picked up his pen again, looking back down at his notebook. “We didn’t have sex.”

Aelin sat there. She didn’t know what to say. She got the answers she needed, but she felt like more had to be said. And she honestly didn’t know when she would get a chance to talk to Chaol like this again.

Taking in a deep breath, Aelin spoke up.

“I meant it.”

The pen froze on the paper as Chaol slowly lifted his head to look at her.

“I know I was drunk and have no memory of saying any of that. But I meant every word.” Aelin said. “I am so sorry for how things ended between us, Chaol. But I am forever grateful for everything you did for me. Because you… you helped me in ways you don’t even know.” Aelin stopped. She carefully pushed her chair back, picking up her bag before standing. “And thank-you. For telling me all this.”

Aelin sent Chaol a small smile before she started to turn and walk away. But she didn’t even get two steps before Chaol spoke up from behind her.

“Aelin.”

At her name, Aelin stopped. She slowly turned around, only to find Chaol now standing up out of his chair.

“At the party you… you said you wished we could be friends again.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck before looking her in the eyes. “I’d like that. To be friends again.”

A smile spread across Aelin’s face as she nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

Chaol nodded, returning her smile before he sat back down at the table.

Aelin turned, hoisting her bag up before she made her way out of the library. As she pushed the double doors opened, smile still on her face, she couldn’t help but feel like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Rounding the corner of the hall, Aelin’s eyes suddenly catch sight of a head of short, white hair.

She stopped in her tracks, watching as Rowan walked down the hallway with Lorcan. And only one thought ran through her head.

Time to return some clothes.

[dorianthekinkymf]

For the fandom ask thing: Throne of Glass? Love your blog!! xx

Sorry this took a while!! Thanks for the ask!! Since there’s two of us, we both answered all the questions xx 

Leave a Fandom in my Ask Questions:

THRONE OF GLASS EDITION

Favourite Female:

Krish: Celaena Sadorthien (one of my favourite characters EVER created)

Bridge: honestly cannot decide between the sassy Celaena Sardothien and bad ass Aelin

Favourite Male:

Krish: King Dorian Havilliard aka my husband and the love of my life

Bridge: ROWAN asdfkljds

3 Other Favourite Characters:

Krish: Manon (QUEEN), Rowan, Lysandra

Bridge: Dorian, Lysandra and Asterin

OTP:

Krish: Manorian argh i ship them sooo much

Bridge: Rowaelin i love them together soo much

Notp:

Krish: Aedion x Lysandra (i mean that line about how he was going to defs marry Lysandra kinda pissed me off. Like she just got out of an abusive controlling relationship). Also like Bridge is saying, Chaoleana = -1000%

Bridge: Chaoleana its dead, its over, he did not except her

Funniest Character:

Krish: Celaena Sadorthien (I mean in EoS when she was talking to Captain Rolfe i just couldn’t)  

Bridge: Celaena THAT SCENE WITH THE GEMS

Prettiest Character:

Krish: Dorian Havilliard (*cackling like a mad woman* but like this was the guy who used his magic to keep his clothes clean and his hair perfectly coiffed while they were going through a swamp)

Bridge: Fenrys, I mean just look at Dorian describing Fenrys

Most Annoying Character:

Krish: Chaol *rolls eyes at him trying to be a rebel in QoS*

Bridge: god dammit Chaol

Most Badass Character:

Krish: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius

Bridge: 200% Aelin

Character I’d like as my BFF:

Krish: Celaena Sadorthien (how fun would she be to hang around Rifthold with!!)

Bridge: Dorian, just all the books tbh

Female Character I’d Marry:

Krish: Manon because it’d be super cool to join the witch world but I’d probably be eaten tbh  

Bridge: Aelin, but tbh she probs would be like wtf is this little weak person

Male Character I’d Marry:

Krish: DORIAN HAVILLIARD MY LOVE (did i mention that i love him)

Bridge: Rowan, just that softness that he has for Aelin, and the way the (used to) share all their plans together and knew everything about it each other and just ugh.

Character I hate/dislike/least like:

Krish: Chaol aka Kale aka the hate of my life (I’m sorry was never a fan of Chaol because i had a feeling he would steal Celaena from Dorian and then his reaction to magic/her being fae forever sealed his fate in my eyes)

Bridge: Arobynn, that abusive, manipulative, disgusting snake.

[emthinks]

Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas

Note: Okay, so I just realized like a good solid month and more later that I never posted my review for this book. Or maybe I did and I never tagged it. Or maybe I did tag it but it got lost in the endless sea that is the Internet (and also Tumblr). I don’t know. The point is that it’s not in my records and I need it to exist here because I love Sarah and I love this series and I’ve written reviews for all the other books so this can’t not exist. So. Here it is. The following is what I wrote after while marathoning ToG, so this is before I touched QoS and EoS. I have not edited anything: this is literally a copy & paste from my word doc. Enjoy.

If you could hear me right now. God. I sound like a dying whale. A dying, beached whale that has no hope but is still screaming for one. I wish I have a punching bag in my room. Would get a lot of use out of it right about now. I think I just kicked nearly everything off my bed. This book is ridiculous. I was not prepared.

This is not YA. YA is…nicer. Gentler. This is. I mean, Throne of Glass was bad. Crown of Midnight was…equally as bad. Heir of Fire? Heir of Fire didn’t hold anything back. Heir of Fire was hell. It was heart wrenching, heart pounding, heart aching hell.

Rating: 9.6/10

An Overview:

Unfortunately, I didn’t take notes on everything, which sucks, but hey. What can you do. I did not some more essential bits though.

Dorian and Chaol. Dorian and Chaol are a fucking mess. Dorian and Chaol. I don’t know what’s going to happen to Dorian and Chaol.

Moving on. Celaena ends up tagging along with Rowan to meet Maeve, who decrees Rowan is train her to shift and wield magic before she can enter Doranelle. Celaena becomes a kitchen maid. Hey, at least there’s food.

Meanwhile, Dorian is…hitting on a healer? I’m not sure what Dorian is doing. We don’t get much from Dorian.

Monan, on the other hand, we get a lot of time with. And it’s a bit of a slog, perhaps. But then she gets Abraxos. And she goes to fight the fucking giant arachnids for their silk and steals it (which I really wonder if that’s gonna bite her in the ass later on). And Abraxos. If she’s on Abraxos, things got a lot better. Especially that bit at the end, with the War Games and how she saves the Blueblood heir? Yeah. That was good. That was nice. Hey, our little heartless witch grew a heart!

And then there’s Chaol. And then there’s Chaol. Chaol, for some reason (I forget) decides that he needs to get information out of Aedion (to even the ground? I think Aedion knows something about Chaol? I don’t remember the specifics). Of course, Chaol’s a fucking idiot and disregards the fact that he’s tailing the Wolf of the North (or whatever fancy title they gave Aedion) and that, maybe, Aedion would notice he’s tailing him. Thankfully, all’s well that ends well, because Chaol manages to become allies with Aedion. Aelin is alive. One can only hope it remains that way.

When Celaena walked into Rowan’s room while he was tattooing Gavriel (albeit uninvited), and Rowan said all those things to her, I knew what was coming. That next morning, when Celaena saw the blade Emrys got from Mikalai, the Eyllwe blade, and she snapped, my heart broke. I could feel all her pain. It was horrible. And for Emrys to lecture Rowan, when he finally (finally) came to fetch her, God I wished he’d torn him apart.

Well, at least they’re bonding now. Right? Nope. Rowan fucking throws poor, innocent Luca (with the promise of food, of all things!) into the middle of the ice and demands she rescue him. She does (of course she does) but then there’s that creepy ass one-eyed fish monster. Of fucking course the lake wasn’t empty, I thought. When would the lake ever be empty? They’re not that lucky.  

Eventually, on one of those journeys to see the killed demi-Fae, we run across a problem. A major problem. Well, a problem and an answer, I guess, if you want to be particular about it. An answer to who (or what, I suppose) is sucking the life out of all those demi-Fae. And the problem? Well. The problem is those hundreds of soldiers and not-human dark things used to attack demi-Fae and use them as hosts. Of course. Fucking hell. But what could our heroes do but hurry back to prepare the fortress? And it was absolutely beautiful how everyone had just banded together, not argument, no fear. And I had thought Wendlyn was an ass for not sending reinforcements. Nope. They were just being attacked, too. They would’ve helped, had they had the ability to. But they just had to prioritize. It sucked, but at least they had a valid excuse.

And then the Valg came. And Celaena, brave, brave, wonderful warrior Celaena steps out and says she will protect them. And her fire burns and burns and burns. For so long, she burns. But not long enough. Because then they envelop her. They don’t consume her, she’s too great of a vessel, but they take sips. Sips of her deepest, darkest memories. All her secrets spilled out, and she doesn’t do anything – nothing. God, it was one of the most horrifying things to read, to imagine, to feel. I could see everything as if it was happening right in front of me, to me. The darkness, the sheer terror, the complete loss, the hopelessness. Everything. We saw what truly happened that night, where she crawled into her parents’ bed and they were already dead and Lady Marion sacrifices herself and that just makes what Nehemia did that much worse and I just. I couldn’t. I’m not a huge fan of horror, of scary shit, and I definitely don’t seek them out in books, so that was some of the darkest pages I’ve read. Ever. It was horrifying. And I plowed through them like a woman on a mission not because I enjoyed them (I really, really didn’t) but because I needed to see the end to this misery. And, thankfully, there was an end. Our heroine emerges from the ashes, wielding fire the likes we’ve never seen before and embracing her titles. She does not hide under the shadow of Celaena Sardothien anymore. She is, finally, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen, and ready to take back her throne, her people, her land.

In the meantime, across the sea, we have Chaol and Dorian and Aedion who figured out how the fuck the king cancelled out all magic. The pillars. The triangle. Now, if we could only just knock out the clock tower, that would be great. And I think we really need to get on that. Maybe Dorian could just, I don’t know, accidentally throw some of his ice magic at it. Just a little bit. And then poke it so it would shatter in a million pieces? Ooh! Maybe Celaena can burn it. Or not. It’s obsidian. One giant pillar of obsidian. Sigh.

Also, I find it absolutely ridiculous that we spend all this time – all this fucking time trying to get into Doranelle, to talk to Maeve and find out what she knows, and then we’re in there for one chapter. Of the whole entire fucking book. And it is a large ass book. And it was one hell of a chapter. Maeve is an absolute bitch. We knew she was shit from the get-go – we knew Celaena’s mom (Evalin?) had run across the sea and hid her for a reason. But still. Celaena asks her questions. And Maeve knows nothing. Yes, we learn some things about the Vlag (blergh) and how the king, with three Wyrdkeys, could summon an endless army (jfc we need to fix that soon) but we don’t learn anything of use about they keys or the gates. Instead, we learn – or rather, Celaena reveals she learned that Maeve was the one who wanted to use the keys, and that’s why Brannon took them across the sea. To see Rowan obeying and his so-called “friends” just not even trying to resist…that was painful. Thank God Celaena has mastered her power enough to fucking set the whole palace on fire. That was beautiful. And she bargains – beautifully – with Maeve. The ring, for Rowan. A severed bloodoath, only to forge a new one immediately afterwards. Well, at least Celaena has somebody to watch her back, right?

Nope. Fucking idiot. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that Celaena left Rowan behind. Yes, he might not be as powerful thanks to the “all magic has been destroyed” thing in Adarlan, but he isn’t useless. She better go find him soon. He better come back in Queen of Shadows. That’s all I’m saying.

And oh no, that’s not all that happened. That’s only on one continent. On the continent with even more problems, we have the (slight) issue of the king kind of kidnapping Chaol. And Aedion. And Dorian and Sorscha. So Sorscha was Ren’s informant, huh? At least he’s not as much of a wimp as I thought. Still, God that was horrible to read. First, Aedion reveals himself. Which. Fine. It sucks, but it’s necessary. He’s taken away. Then. Then. Sorscha. God, Dorian was a disaster. But still salvageable. But Chaol – fucking, idiotic Chaol. Stupid, stupid, stupid. So stupid. Why was he so stupid? Stupid Chaol decides that “oh, now is the time for me to reveal that I’m traitorous to the crown”. Like, now is so not the time, Chaol. Aedion has already sacrificed himself, knowing that you would be more important to Aelin than he is, in the long run, and Sorscha is already fucking dead and now is really not the time. You realize he could you?! You’re not his son. You’re not the crown prince. So one thing leads to another, and Dorian reveals his magic. Great timing, Chaol. You just made everything a hundred times worse. You get to escape, which, hurrah, don’t have to go to Anielle. Your friend, on the other hand. Well. Poor Dorian is fucking screwed. He’s got a Wyrd collar on his neck now, and gods know what that will do to him. How it will warp him. I can only hope that Celaena can come back and somehow manage to remove that fucking collar.

Oh, I can’t wait to tear that guy into tiny little pieces. No mercy, man. No mercy. Not for the kind of shit he’s done.

And it’s only a matter of time, because Aelin, across the sea, on a different fucking continent, has made her stand. It was her declaration, in front of the Valg. That battle was where she announces to the whole fucking world that she’s back, and she’s better than ever. Aedion knows, finally, that his cousin is alive for real. Chaol knows he didn’t just send her off to death. Dorian knows. The king knows. Everyone knows. And I can only hope that the people of Terrasen are ready. And the people of Adarlan, because when she comes, she comes for blood, she comes for revenge, she comes for the king’s head mounted on a pike and no one can stop her.

“You didn’t need a weapon at all when you were born one.”

Likes: What I really liked in this book was that we got to see from different POVs. Well, maybe I should amend that: We got to see from multiple POVs, with buildup. Like, before, we only saw from like, say, Kaltain or the King’s POVs when the really needed to push along the plot. Or reveal something we, the reader, had already half-suspected. Like with the headaches or the Wyrdkeys. We didn’t use them until they were truly necessary. Like, every time we saw from Kaltain’s POV, she was whining about headaches (in ToG). In HoF, it’s different. We see from Celaena and Dorian and Chaol, ofc, but then there’s Monan and Sorscha and their stories take a while too unfold as well, to interweave themselves into the overarching plot. Sarah, imo, has really gotten better at weaving. And I really, really like this weaving.

Dislikes: While I said I like the multiple PoVs, there were times when they became a burden as well. Especially with the Monan ones. I just found them to be such a drag sometimes, particularly when there was something a lot more exciting going on with Celaena and Rowan or Dorian and Chaol.

“They had survived, when so many had not. And no one else could understand what it was like to bear it, unless they had lost as much.”

The Characters:

For me, in this book, I didn’t particularly like this Celaena. I mean, she was going through a lot, so I understand. But I just. It’s hard to watch someone you know, someone you love, go through all this hardship and break. It’s just really, really hard to see such a tough character crumble so easily like that, and we see that happen to her multiple times in this book. It’s a reality check, I guess. But still. Like, with the Valg princes, I just. I couldn’t. So while I love all of Celaena, the Celaena we see most in this book is a mess. She eventually comes back into herself, mastering her magic, training by herself at dawn and being a complete badass, but it takes a long, long while. Hopefully, we get to see her be more confident and sure as she takes on the mantle that is Aelin Ashryver Galathynius.

Okay, I’m going to be completely honest: I thought Aedion Ashryver was such a pompous asshole when I first met him. But even worse, because he has Ashryver blood. He’s cousins to Aelin. He’s...he’s supposed to be good. But then Chaol started tailing him, and we learn he’s been disappearing form his own parties. Ah. So he’s loyal after all. And as we read on, we learn he is very loyal. He would’ve become bound to Aelin by blood, bound to her like Rowan now is and stayed by her side for eternity. He would’ve done anything for her. And I think that really shows, especially at the end. He sacrifices himself, not for Chaol, but for the hope that is Aelin, knowing that Chaol will help Aelin, and perhaps be of more help than he is to her. He would’ve loved to see her one last time, but instead, he gives himself up. Damn, that Ashryver blood is nice.

Now. Let’s talk about Rowan Whitethorn. Random fact: I totally thought it was white-horn for the longest time. Oops. Anyways. Rowan. Fucking ass, I thought. Doesn’t talk to Celaena at all. Completely ruins her. Drags her down. Isn’t helpful at all. Any inkling of bonding moment they have, he breaks it off immediately afterwards. Thankfully though, Emrys (good ol’ Emrys) slaps some sense into him and he and Celaena aren’t on such a rocky edge anymore. Walking a tight rope instead of tight thread. They banter more, are more comfortable with each other. And then the soldiers of Adarlan come, Norrak and the Valg princes. And then things really shift. They are bound together for life, now. And Rowan, in Maeve’s palace, taking that whipping just. No. Celaena might not have wanted him to swear that bloodoath to her, but he needed to. An anchor, so to speak.

Now for another new character we meet: Sorscha. Now, I had no idea what to think of Sorscha. We learn of her infatuation with Dorian early on, and immediately I know it’s going to be acted upon because why else would we read from her PoV unless it’s truly important? But I’m glad Sorscha existed. Because Sorscha pulled Dorian out of whatever wallowing misery he was in and helped him hone his magic. Without Chaol, Sorscha was the only one he could kind of lean on. So to have that happen to her, at the end. We all were a mess, no doubt. Fucking distraught. Ruined. Hell.

And oh. Dorian. Poor, poor Dorian. Dorian for me really grows in this book. At first, I absolutely detested him. Like, I wanted to like him in the beginning, I really did. But then he found Aedion and Chaol talking and immediately thought of betrayal and consorting with the enemy. And he doesn’t even try to work with them. Doesn’t try to understand, to understand why Chaol kept the secrets. To think that, maybe, he could work with Celaena. Work with Aelin, to overthrow his father, so then they can all be better off. Nope. Doesn’t do that. Thankfully, he meets Sorscha. Sorscha is his one beacon of hope and light, especially after he kicks Chaol away to the curb. Sorscha helps him master his magic, and I think that’s really where Dorian’s turning point is. Dorian isn’t trying to suppress his powers anymore, but instead is learning how to control it, how to harness them. He is embracing who is, and I think that’s really important for him. Dorian, who has had basically no control over what he is and what he does for his entire life, finally has control over something. Very nice growth, Dorian. I’m proud. I can only hope that growth helps you survive whatever horrors your father will make you suffer through in QoS.

Now for Chaol. God, I didn’t think I liked Chaol. But Chaol is sacrificing so much. He sacrificed his dignity by going to his father for help. He sacrificed his friendship with Dorian to protect him. And he sacrificed his love for Celaena to protect her. Chaol is like the ultimate shadow-guard. Unfortunately, on the other hand, Chaol is also, like Dorian said, the only one who hasn’t let go yet. Celaena is breaking herself apart every single day in Wendlyn, training with Rowan, finally embracing her heritage. Dorian is...well. Dorian is stifling his magic, yes, but with good reason. Chaol, though, could do so much more, and he doesn’t. Yes, he works with Aedion and eventually comes up with something. But then that all goes to shits and pieces at the end. Everything they did, even that little bit he patched up with Dorian…all goes down the fucking drain with one summon from the king. Jfc, I could murder Chaol right now for his idiocy. Definitely not my favorite character in this book.

On the other hand, Emrys. Emrys I could totally get behind. Emrys is that really old uncle that no one knows how old he is and has all the cool stories and is just this useful presence. Doesn’t poke or prod, but is there when Celaena or Rowan needed a jab. Any of you watch Merlin? Because I don’t if it’s just the BBC show, if the real (real? was he real?) Merlin was actually called Emrys but I freaked when I read that name. Just a little. Internally.

Now, I mentioned above that the varying PoVs were a double-edged sword for me. Monan Blackbeak, we learn early on, is a witch. A deadly, cruel, fierce witch. And, at first, I just could not get through her chapters. But then we continued on. And we grew more attached to her. We learn she may not be as harsh as the rest of her compatriots, as cruel as the Yellowlegs heir. We actually sympathize with her, feel with her, even though she is being trained to ride her wyvern for the king. We actually (or, at least, I) begin to understand her, which is interesting. She chooses a bait beast for her wyvern. Abraxos. God, I love Abraxos. Abraxos sniffing those flowers when she tries to feed him a goat leg? That was hilarious. And I especially loved how HoF was basically watching Monan grow a heart. Like, she bonded with Abraxos and she saved Petrah and she hesitated with killing the Crochan witch. Still though, while I feel for her, she’s still Wing Leader, flying a squadron for the king and against our favorite characters. Can you imagine if she and Celaena came head-to-head? My hope is that Monan will one day see the light and meet up with our main gang and burn that glass palace to ruin.

“It would not take a monster to destroy a monster – but light, light to drive out darkness.”

My Questions

What does that Wyrd collar do?

We’ve seen the rings in action. We’ve seen them manipulate and hurt. But the collar. Does the collar mean that Dorian has no self-control whatsoever? He’s a puppet to his father? Or does it mean that it manipulates him into thinking he does have control, but in reality he doesn’t? How do we get it off? I want it off of Dorian! Now!

What the fuck is Celaena going to do about the fact that she hasn’t killed the royal family of Wendlyn? What the fuck is the king going to do to her?

Uh, I’m still holding out the hope that the Ashryvers will suddenly want to help their cousin.

What about the whole Dorian/Celaena/Chaol love triangle?

Um. Huh. Good question. I was nearly convinced it would be Chaol. But then. Well. Then there’s Rowan there. And Dorian has the same ice and wind power to extinguish Celaena’s fire like Rowan does, so that’s a nice match. And – the real deal breaker here, I think – was the part where Celaena questioned Rowan about mates and how she had attacked Chaol that one time and Rowan kind of avoided answering. That really made me question it. But still. There’s a major problem of the fact that they are heirs of two different kingdoms. What the fuck are they going to do about that? Can Celaena put Aedion on the throne? I suppose she could do that. Maybe she’ll do that. Celorian?

"She was the heir of ash and fire, and she would bow to no one.” 

[theladyofdeath]

The Cadre {18}

A Throne of Glass, 1920s Period AU.

Summary: Orynth became Aelin Galathynius’s kingdom the moment the Prohibition began. She sang every night, the voice of the city’s underground world, her cousin selling the liquor that was banned by the authorities. She was living the dream, young and free, until the Cadre, until Rowan Whitethorn, came into her life.

Since Rowan Whitethorn returned from war, everything had changed. His aunt wants to take his crown, old enemies have returned as business partners, and he can’t sleep without feeling as if he’ll be suffocated by the memories of war. Little did he know that when he came back home he would be leaving one battlefield and entering another.

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

A/N: ……….Enjoy this short chapter, with only two chapters left....you know the next one is going to be serious. 

Links:

The Cadre Masterlist

Full Fanfic Masterlist

My Askbox

The sun was rising before Gavriel found the nerve to open the letter Lysandra had slid beneath his door the night before. He knew it was from Aedion, even though she hadn’t said a word. After staring at it for hours, though, Gavriel slowly undid the seal and pulled out the folded letter.

A photograph fell onto the floor.

Gavriel stilled, staring at it breathlessly before bending down and taking it into his shaky fingers. They were so young then, he and Saoirse. The sight of her, of him smiling broadly as she clung to him, broke his heart. Slowly falling back on his bed, Gavriel’s eyes didn’t leave the photograph. He brushed his fingers over her captured beauty, as if he could reach out and feel her, still, sitting right in front of her.

Aedion looked so much like her.

Especially those Ashryver eyes.

It pained Gavriel to look into those eyes, because when he did, all he saw was her.

His Saoirse. 

Refusing to put the photograph down, Gavriel picked up the letter. 

It was short.

Simple.

Powerful.

Gavriel,

I recently came across a handful of my mother’s belongings. I never knew much about her, as I never had the chance to know her. As you know, she died after having me, due to complications that I will never understand. And I think you know this, because, after reading my mother’s journals and finding this photograph, I’ve come to the conclusion that you loved my mother very much. I know that she loved you. She wrote a lot about you. How much she loved you, and how she couldn’t wait to have your baby, so that she would forever have a piece of you with her, even though your love was prohibited. 

Choosing to believe that you loved her just as much, I wanted to write to you, letting you know that I know that I’m your son.

I’m not sure how you feel about that, and I do not expect anything from you. I only wanted you to know, and to let you know that I know, too.

You can keep the photograph.

Aedion Ashryver

He read it over and over and over again, each time feeling more worthless than the last. How awful Aedion must think him, knowing that Gavriel’s his dad. Gavriel had never said a word to anyone, save for Darragh and Rowan, and now that Aedion knew…

Aedion must hate him.

But Gavriel did what he had to, did what he thought best, what Saoirse had thought best before her death: That Gavriel stayed away, that the bad blood between their two people would be too much for a child to bear.

But Aedion was no longer a child.

There was so much he wanted to say to his son, so much he should have said, but he wasn’t sure if he should, wouldn't be sure if Aedion cared to hear.

With the letter in one hand and the photograph in the other, Gavriel was bolting from his room and down the hall, where he pounded on Lysandra’s door.

She opened it, a moment later, dressed in her day clothes, preparing to go into the office. She blinked. “Good morning.”

Gavriel held up the letter, the photograph. “Do you know?”

Her eyes grew soft. “Yes, I do.”

“How long have you known?”

“A while,” she confessed. Before Gavriel could ask her why she kept it hidden from him, she stated, “It was not my secret to discuss.” 

The tension faded from Gavriel’s shoulders as he leaned into the door frame, eyes weary. “I’m sorry.” What he was apologizing for and who he was apologizing to, he didn’t know, but it sounded like the right words to say.

Sorry to Aedion, for being worthless.

Sorry for you, for barging into your room like a madman.

Sorry to Saoirse, for I’m the reason she’s dead.

“Do you wish to speak with him?” Lysandra asked.

Gavriel hesitated.

“If you do, he’ll listen,” Lysandra said, and she sounded certain. 

Gavriel said nothing. He had too many thoughts, too many emotions coursing through him. So he nodded, numbly. 

“Walk me to the office?” she asked, after watching him for a moment. “It’s a nice morning.”

Gavriel nodded, once more, clearing his throat. “I’ll...let me get dressed.”

“Okay,” she whispered, smiling brightly. “I’ll wait.”

And she did, as Gavriel wandered back into his bedroom and dressed. Before he left, he put the letter into his bedside stand and the photograph into the inside pocket of his jacket.

~~~~~

It was early afternoon when Rowan met the others and they walked toward the offices in the building above the Fireheart.

He’d woken up, once again, with his arm around Aelin; but, this time, his shoulder hurt like shit as he woke up with the realization that he’d been shot.

Rhoe fucking shot him.

And now it was time to make amends. 

Whatever the fuck that meant. Rowan could confidently say that he’d never been shot by woman’s father before, after said father realized that Rowan was fucking his daughter.

As he smoked a cigarette, all he could think about was the mess he’d gotten himself into.

And how he didn’t give a damn, because he wanted to wake up every morning with Aelin Galathynius in his arms.

Which is why he walked into Rhoe’s office with his head held high. Gavriel and Vaughan accompanied him inside, while the other three stood just outside, waiting.

Rhoe said nothing.

Neither did Rowan as he took a seat.

Gavriel and Vaughan waited patiently. 

“How’s the arm?” Rhoe asked, at last, nodding to Rowan’s shoulder.

Rowan cocked his head. “Feels like I’ve been shot.”

Rhoe nodded, slowly, with pursed lips. “I’ve been told I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Funny,” Rowan muttered. “I’ve been told I deserved it.” 

Rhoe snorted, and folded his hands on top of his desk. “There is no need to worry, boys. Our deal is secure.” 

Rowan stilled.

That was too easy.

“After talking to my daughter, I’ve come to realize that she should have never been a part of the deal to begin with, and so from this point forth, she will remain out of our dealings.”

Rowan still didn’t say a word.

His eyes narrowed.

“Then is this a good time to ask for your men to stand by my side come Saturday?” Rowan asked, steadily.

Rhoe sighed. “Against Arobynn Hammel, I assume?”

“Yes,” Rowan answered, without hesitation. 

“I’ve already lost a lot of men, Rowan,” Rhoe answered.

“I realize that,” Rowan said, “but Arobynn doesn’t want them dead, just me. It’s for appearances only, unless things get out of hand. In that case, they’ll be in the back.”

“I see,” Rhoe said, clicking his tongue. 

“I would not ask if it was not crucial,” Rowan continued.

It was a simple question, really, although not a simple request. Rowan didn’t know what else to say, though, aside from begging, but he would never become so desperate. He would rather die than beg.

“Nonetheless,” Rowan said, clearing his throat as he rose. “Send word with your answer. If I have your men, they will need to know the plan.”

The three men made their way toward the door, but Rhoe called out, “May I have a moment with you alone, Whitethorn?”

Vaughan tensed, but Rowan nodded, “Of course.”

After giving Rowan a look, Gavriel walked out, Vaughan close behind.

“Sit,” Rhoe said.

With a sigh, Rowan did so, resuming his seat. He waited.

“I have been very protective of my daughter,” Rhoe went on, rigidly. “After her mother’s passing, she has been all that remains. She is wild, yes, but she is a good woman, Rowan.”

Rowan looked at Rhoe for a long moment before saying, “I know you think you know me, Rhoe, and perhaps you do, to a certain extent. Only a certain type of man can do what we do, I realize that. But, I do not disrespect women, and I would have stayed away from Aelin forever if I did not intend to treat her with love and respect.” 

Something in Rhoe’s eyes softened as he said, “Good, because she loves you.”

Rowan must have looked surprised, because Rhoe grinned, weakly. “She told me as much when she was ripping my head off after you left the room last night.” 

Rowan chuckled as he nodded. “Sounds right.”

“Do not break her heart, Whitethorn,” Rhoe said, smile fading. “I mean it.”

“I don’t intend to,” Rowan said, honestly.

Rhoe nodded, once more, as he opened the top drawer of his desk. He slid a small velvet bag across the desk. “Take that, then. For when the moment is right. The way Aelin looked at you last night was the same way my wife used to look at me. And that,” he nodded toward the drawstring back, “was Evalin’s. Upon her death, she wished it to go to Aelin.” 

Fully aware that he was full of confusion, Rowan opened the bag and looked inside, where a ring, with a small sapphire surrounded by white diamonds sat.

Rowan was speechless. He looked back up to Rhoe. He opened his mouth to say something, but Rhoe cut him off. “Call it a truce.” He gestured, once more, to Rowan’s shoulder. “And don’t break her heart.”

Rowan nodded, lips snapping shut as he secured the ring in the bag and placed it in his jacket. When he got up and walked to the door, Rhoe said, “You have my men. And myself. We can meet tomorrow to discuss strategy before the club opens.”

Without turning back to face him, Rowan gave the man a curt nod and left the room.

~~~~~

“Will you miss me, my love?” 

Arobynn watched Maeve walked across their room, the firelight outlining her bare frame.

“Of course,” Arobynn murmured, still catching his breath.

Maeve was a brutal, ravenous woman - especially in bed. 

“Good,” she grinned, falling on her knees at the foot of the bed and crawling toward him. “I shouldn’t be gone long, though. You must send word, either way, after your encounter with Rowan and the boys. I’m eager to hear how it all turns out.”

Arobynn snorted, brushing Maeve’s hair out of her face. “I already know how it will turn out, and I’ll be just as eager to share the news and dwell in our victory. Rowan Whitethorn will die, the Cadre will crumble, and I will rise to the top of this city. Then, once you return, we will run this empire together. No more hiding. All three of us.” 

Maeve’s fingers swept across the small bump that had formed on her abdomen. “Now that young Cortland is out of the way.”

Arobynn still felt guilty for the encounter with Sam. He had truly loved him, but now he was having an actual child, a true heir to the kingdom he was building. He would not let Sam get in the way of it. 

May the kid rest in peace and forgive him in the next life. 

Arobynn’s hands covered hers atop her skin. “We are so close, Maeve. So close to accomplishing the dream.”

“So close,” she repeated, and kissed him, softly. 

~~~~~~~

@mariamuses  @garnet-29  @writer-reader-traveller  @rowaelin-cressworth  @space-buns-arsinoe  @negativenesta  @empress-ofbloodshed  @the-regal-warrior  @starseternalnighttriumphant  @westofmoon  @sammyjojaaaa  @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter  @carbconnoisseur @acer6437  @lorcansalvatearupmyheart  @cool-ish-nerd  @mynewdreamwasyou  @mourning-razorlust  @thespiritualrider  @rowaelinforeverworld  @didsomeonesayviolin  @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit  @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks  @queen-of-glass  @the-dark-swan  @http-itsrebecca  @holdingon-21@babycardan @tswaney17  @mollycateoc  @chemicha  @bat-wing-rhys @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thespiritualrider  @luna-the-little @morebooks-pls  @shyvioletcat  @hermajestyanna  @a97girl  @stardustsroses  @queenofthemoon22 @alifletcher2012  @awkward-avocado-s  @faerie-queen-fireheart  @cwheart  @lovemollywho @emilyrose111294  @nerdperson524  @sleeping-and-books @cursebreaker29 @flora-and-fae @feyrethedarklady @the-dark-swan @rowaelinforeverworld @sjmsstuff @januarystears @mis-lil-red  @acourtofmoonlight   @rowaelinforeverworld  @courtofmaasdestruction @jjellybean  @thewayshedreamed  @wind-drinker  @aelin-rowan-whitehorn  @starseternalnighttriumphant  @hurema @http-itsrebecca  @lorcansalvatearupmyheart  @cityofchelsea16 @januarystears  @iliketoasterstrudels  @lightitup-bryce  @yikesitsmaddie @feyrethedarklady @i-love-all-books  @keshavomit  @sleeping-and-books @scarznstars  @http-itsrebecca @cat5313 @moondancer-204  @booklover242 @belamoonbeam @they-call-me-cuatro   @b00kworm  @mu-si-ca-l   @thegayerpotato  @abraxos-is-toothless  @keshavomit  @musicdreamer003   @superspiritfestival  @sailorsassley  @mymultiversee @alxanxah @viviaannvu123  @mysweetvillain​

[theladyofdeath]

In the Bleak Midwinter {6}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: I mean....

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

Links & masterlists:

Fanfic Masterlist

Ask me

The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

Lorcan hadn’t left his room in days, except for the funeral.

He laid in their bed, clinging to her pillow, desperate for her scent.

He knew he had to get up, knew he had a job to do, knew there was more to life than this, but he couldn’t force himself, not yet.

She was gone.

His wife.

Gone.

The mother of his child.

Gone.

The love of his life.

Gone.

The only woman to take his heart and make it a part of her own.

Gone.

He had failed her.

The thought was too unbearable, his reality was too unbearable, so he stayed in bed, sleeping, sometimes, but mostly awake, drowning in his unfathomable thoughts.

From time to time, she appeared to him. One night, he saw her reflection in the floor length mirror in the corner of the room, watching him. And just this morning, she was standing at the foot of their bed, watching him, lovingly.

He knew she wasn’t real, knew it was just his mind playing tricks, knew it was only her ghost keeping close to him, but he lived for those moments, longed for those moments, when she appeared.

But as soon as she appeared, she was gone, once again.

Natalia would check on him from time to time. She would say nothing as she entered, but would bring him food, water, cigarettes, whiskey. She removed all the guns from his room, took the revolver out of the holster that was strapped to his body, but other than that, the nanny left him alone.

And took care of Lucy.

Lucille, his baby.

Lucille, his joy.

Lucille, the little girl that would never get to fully know her mother.

Lorcan rolled onto his back, Elide’s pillow clinging to his chest, and stared at the ceiling as the door to his bedroom burst open.

Rowan came in, silently closing the door behind him, and sat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t look at Lorcan. Lorcan didn’t look at him. A moment of silence passed, in which Rowan took a cigarette out of the case in his front pocket. He put it between his wet lips. He lit the end.

Then he offered one to Lorcan.

They smoked, and let that smoke fill the air as the silence ensued. It wasn’t until the cigarette was nearly disintegrated that Rowan said, “I need you, Lor.”

Lorcan didn’t reply.

He felt nothing.

“Everyone’s coming to the estate,” Rowan went on, still not meeting Lorcan’s gaze. His back was to him as he laid with Elide’s pillow, staring at the ceiling, a cigarette clenched between his  teeth. “We’re staying together. It’s not safe. Maeve has proven that she has men everywhere.”

Still, Lorcan said nothing.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d spoken, had forgotten how to form a word.

“I would like you there, too,” Rowan said. “And Luce. And that scary ass nanny of yours.”

In the back of his mind, Lorcan thought he should laugh, but he couldn’t.

Laughter was pointless.

“Come on,” Rowan said, after a moment. “Pack a bag, meet me downstairs, we’ll go to the estate together.”

Lorcan stayed perfectly still.

“Aelin has requested a pork roast for dinner,” Rowan went on. “You like pork roast.”

Lorcan hadn’t eaten in days.

Rowan looked over his shoulder, then, and Lorcan met his gaze, recognizing the pain in his old friend’s pine-green eyes. If only he knew what true pain was. Rowan had no idea, but Lorcan knew. Lorcan knew pain, Lorcan knew heartache, Lorcan knew what it was like to have his entire world crumbling beneath him with nowhere to land.

“Come on, Lor,” Rowan said, once again, his voice low. “Since when are you one to let the world defeat you?”

Lorcan took the cigarette out of his mouth and slowly met his friend’s, his leader’s, face. “Since my wife took a bullet that was meant for me.”

His words slurred, and he wondered just how much whiskey he had taken in.

Rowan’s jaw locked, but he nodded, gaze falling away from Lorcan’s, as if he couldn’t take Lorcan’s heartwrenching gaze any longer.

After a minute, Rowan said, “I’ll tell Natalia to pack her and Lucy’s belongings. We’ll meet you downstairs.”

Then he was up on his feet, his boots padding heavily against the wooden floorboards, and he was gone.

Lorcan laid there for another moment, processing. He knew Rowan was right, knew it was wiser to stay together, but Lorcan didn’t give a damn about his life, not without Elide.

Not without his fucking wife.

And yet, he wasn’t the only one he had to think about.

He had Lucy.

Lucy needed to be safe. For if he lost Lucy, he would have nothing left.

That, and that alone, was the only reason why Lorcan pulled himself off of his bed. He stumbled to his wardrobe, where he tossed a few things onto his bed, along with his bag from the army. He packed lightly and didn’t realize tears were streaming down his face until he was zipping the bag closed, and the canvas fabric was becoming spotted, over and over again, with wet drops.

He tossed the bag over his shoulder, grabbed a hat and pulled it over his tangled hair, slipped on his boots without tying them, and opened his bedroom door.

He had nearly forgotten what the hallway looked like.

A massive painting of him, Elide, and Lucy hung at the top of the stairs, and Lorcan stopped as he reached it, staring at their faces.

It was beautiful.

Done by one of Orynth’s best.

Now, he wished for it to burn, for it was only a reminder.

Maybe it was best to be at Rowan’s just for the fact that there were no reminders of the life he once had, not so long ago.

Lorcan nearly stumbled down the stairs, hardly able to keep his balance as he took step after step.

Rowan was waiting in an armchair, smoking another cigarette as he bounced a giggling Lucy on his knee. Lorcan wondered if Lucy even realized her mother was gone, dead, nothing. She wasn’t even two.

He pushed the thought aside and looked to Natalia, who was already watching him, wearily. She held two bags in her hands, so Lorcan assumed she had already packed.

With a sigh, Lorcan dropped his bag and went over to Rowan and Lucy. He felt guilty. He’d hardly seen his daughter in a week, but it was probably for the best.

He was not the best role model to have around a toddler.

“Hello, my love,” he whispered, when Lucy spotted him and reached up her arms.

Lorcan picked her up and kissed her forehead. He tried to smile, but failed.

“Dada,” she smiled, smacking his cheeks.

“Yeah,” Lorcan breathed. “We’re going to Uncle Ro’s for a while. Yeah?”

“Ya,” Lucy repeated. He carried her to where his bag lied on the Persian rug, and picked it up, once more, and slung it over his shoulder.

“Mama!” Lucy said.

Lorcan froze, his entire body going tense, his jaw going rigid, his mind replaying the scene he had witnessed.

Elide lying on the tile.

Bleeding on the marble.

Laying in his arms.

Motionless.

Lorcan blinked, following the line of Lucy’s pointed finger.

She was pointing at a small portrait of Elide that was sitting on the end table near them.

“Mama,” Lucy repeated, and it took everything in Lorcan to keep a straight face, to not show fear, to not show sadness, to not cry in front of these people.

Clearing his throat, Lorcan took the portrait off the table and shoved it into his bag.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Mama will come, too.”

~~~~~

Lysandra looked around the room she would be staying in. She had been in Aelin and Rowan’s house plenty of times, but there were so many guest rooms that she hadn’t been in them all.

The one she was occupying being one of them.

There wasn’t a lot.

A bed, a vanity, a few paintings, a wardrobe.

When Rowan called the Cadre to stay in his estate, he thought that Lysandra should be part of that, too. She was the organizer of the Cadre. The heart of the Cadre, as he called her.

And after what had happened to Elide…

Lysandra didn’t protest.

Poor Elide.

Shot for a bullet that was meant for her husband. Knowing Elide, Lysandra knew that was how she wanted to go, knew that she thought she had been protecting Lorcan and hadn’t regretted it. She loved that man, had found some kindness and beauty in him that Lysandra had only recently begun to understand.

She loved him.

And she had died because of him.

Lysandra hadn’t been there. She had been with Aedion, tangled up in his arms. They had never made it to the gala, had only heard the news when Gavriel came pounding on her door hours later.

The guilt had been eating her alive.

Not that she thought there was anything she could have done to have save her friend, but she should have been there with her.

She should have been there with Elide in her last moments.

From what Aelin told her, it was a sight no one wanted to ever relive, Lorcan hovering, sobbing, wailing over his wife.

Lorcan Salvaterre had made Lysandra pissed off more times than she should count.

But she knew one thing, for certain.

Lorcan loved Elide.

And he didn’t deserve to lose her.

Elide didn’t deserve any of it.

Lysandra popped open her travelling case to hang up her clothes. As she opened the wardrobe, a knock came to the door.

“Come in!” she called.

She thought it would have been Aelin, but Aedion entered and shut the door softly behind him.

“Hey,” he whispered.

She smiled, softly. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming by.”

“I’m staying here,” he said, simply. “The others are staying with Rhoe while the battle with Maeve goes on...but, Aelin said they had plenty of rooms and offered me one.”

“They do have plenty of rooms,” Lysandra said, looking around, although all she could see was her one room, her four walls.

“That they do,” Aedion said, laughing under his breath, although the light never reached his eyes. “I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Sorry,” she muttered. “I’ve been busy.”

“No, I get it,” Aedion said, quickly. “I just….I wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay.”

Lysandra wasn’t sure if she was okay, though. She would survive, sure, but Elide had been a close friend. The absence of her was unbearable, and her death also meant that Maeve was true to her word.

Even if Elide hadn’t been her target.

“I’m okay,” she whispered, slowly, continuing to hang up her clothes.

“Okay,” Aedion breathed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I just wanted to let you know I was here. If you…..need me, I’m right across the hall.”

When Lysandra said nothing, Aedion turned to leave.

“Aedion,” she said, terrified that he would leave worrying that she was angry with him.

He stopped and looked back at her, over his shoulder, and the look in his eyes was genuine when he said, “It’s okay. I get it. I really do.”

Then, he was gone, and Lysandra was left alone, hanging up her clothes in silence.

~~~~~

Supper time rolled around and Rowan’s chefs prepared them a glorious meal. Everyone ate, except for Lorcan, although no one said a word. He could tell Aelin was on the verge of having a meltdown, whether it was because of the hormones or because she hated prolonged silence, he wasn’t sure.

“I should bring his food up to him, at least,” Aelin muttered, staring at Lorcan’s vacant spot across from her. “He needs to eat.”

“Let him be for tonight,” Rowan mumbled back, and that was that.

He wasn’t hungry much, either. His pork roast sat on his plate with roasted potatoes and carrots, but he hadn’t taken a bite, had only pushed his food around with his fork.

Aelin slowly set down her fork and dabbed her mouth with her napkin before she pushed her chair back and went to the other side of the table, took Lorcan’s plate, and left the room.

Rowan dropped his fork and it hit his plate with a clatter that had everyone jumping amidst the silence. Fully ignoring his manners, not that he had too many, Rowan put his elbows up on the table and threw his face into his hands.

“She feels like she’s helping,” Gavriel said, from the other end of the long table. “Let her.”

Rowan didn’t reply, didn’t even look up from his hands. Yes, Aelin felt like she was helping, but she wasn’t. All she had done in the past week was “help”. It was her way of getting her mind off of things.

Lorcan had lost a wife.

But Aelin had lost one of her best and longest friends.

And it was all his fault.

Rowan had lied awake every night, wondering how the fuck Elide was the first to go. The bullet hadn’t even been meant for her, which only made it worse. Fate was telling Rowan Whitethorn that he deserved the worst the world had to offer.

And it started with Elide, started with his pregnant wife in pain over the loss of her friend, started with his best friend in catastrophic anguish over the loss of his wife.

And it was all his fault.

Maeve had promised him that he would watch the others die, that he would suffer before meeting his end, and at first, they were just words, but now they were a reality.

At least they had all agreed to stay together.

Stay together, until Maeve and her men were dead. Even when Maeve was gone, Rowan wasn’t sure it would stop.

Maeve had to die.

Her men had to die.

And Rowan would see to it that no one else he cared for died.

“Rowan.”

He slowly looked up from his hands and met Gavriel’s gaze. Aedion sat beside him, eating slowly, Lysandra on his opposite side, watching Rowan with sadness in her eyes.

“What happened to Elide wasn’t your-.”

“Don’t,” Rowan said, pushing himself back from the table. “Aelin’s told me as much, countless times.”

A table full of people remained as Rowan fled from the dining room, down the hall and through the foyer until he let himself outside. The sun was sinking, it would soon be dark.

And no one was to be outside after dark.

He felt pathetic, making them all hide away until he could figure out a way to end this thing. He didn’t know how, though. He had no idea how to stop her.

Out of all the people in the world, his aunt, his blood, would be his end.

And Elide…

She deserved better.

And it was all Rowan’s fault.

His fault.

With his hands in his pockets and a cigarette between his teeth, Rowan headed around the side of the house, where the stables sat. He walked up to the stall that was holding his newest, prized mare. All black, faster than any racehorse he’d owned before. Beautiful, fast, and here she was, sitting in a stall for his pleasure.

He sighed, petting the horse, softly. She huffed and swung her head, which only made him snort. She was young, yet. A funny little thing with quite the attitude.

Aelin had grown quite fond of her.

Rowan was pretty sure the horse was her true spirit animal.

Soft footsteps and the crunching of leaves came from just outside of the stables and Rowan froze. His gun was out of its holster, cocked, and pointing in the direction of the threshold as the figure rounded the corner.

And yelped. “Gods, fuck, Ro.”

Rowan slowly lowered his gun as the breath left his body, his shoulders deflating.

Lysandra shook her head as she met him at his side, admiring the horse he was petting. “You can’t just go pointing that thing around.”

“I wouldn’t shoot you,” he said, a little bite to his voice.

“I know,” Lysandra said, quietly, reaching up to brush her fingers along the horse’s neck. “Gav was right, you know, and he means well. What happened to Elide wasn’t your fault.”

Rowan said nothing, he simply turned around and leaned up against the wooden post, his eyes closing as he took a long, slow drag from the cigarette between his fingers.

Lysandra scoffed. “Really? You’re just going to ignore me? Close your eyes and pretend I don’t exist until I walk away?”

“Yes,” he mumbled.

“No,” she said, and the cigarette was taken out of his hand, forcing his eyes to fly open. He met her fiery emerald gaze as she dropped his cigarette into the dirt and put it out with the heel of her Mary-Janes. She took a step closer to him and poked him in the chest with a pointed finger. “I’m not going anywhere, and you will talk about this with me.”

“I have nothing to say,” he said, refusing to move.

“That’s bullshit,” she snapped. “You seem to forget that I know you better than that.”

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” he said, voice low, a warning in his eyes, in his growl.

“Really?” Lysandra said, brows shooting up. He could smell the vodka on her breath. “Because it sure as hell seems that you’ve forgotten that you’re not the only one involved in this, Ro! We all are, and we’re all hurting right now!”

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think that I fucking know that?” He asked, his voice raising as he pushed himself off of the post. Lysandra didn’t move, though. She stayed put, staring up at him with wide eyes and a locked jaw. “I fucking know that, Lysandra! Alright? I know that Lorcan has been in fucking hell, and I know that you and Ae have been in fucking hell! And I also know that it is my fucking fault, no matter how much you, or my wife, or Gavriel try to tell me otherwise! But you wanna know the truth of it? You wanna know the truth of it, yeah? I don’t know how to fucking make it stop!”

Lysandra didn’t say a word. Her chest rose and fell in heavy breaths as Rowan screamed in her face.

“All I can think about is who will be next,” he breathed, his green eyes wild, dark, crazed. “All I can fucking think about is it being Aelin, or you, or one of the guys, or one of Rhoe’s guys, and, I just, it’s driving me fucking mad! I’ve got nothing, alright? I have no strategy, I have few men, and I don’t know where the fuck Maeve is or what the fuck she’s planning!”

“Rowa-.”

“She won’t stop until I’m dead, Lysandra,” he said, laughing humorlessly as the words flowed out. “She won’t fucking stop until I’m six feet under, so let’s just cut this short, eh? She doesn’t want to kill me first, she wants me to suffer, but I’m the one she wants dead. It needs to stop. It has to stop. Make it stop.”

With a steady hand, and his heavy breaths intruding on the newfound silence as his words came to an abrupt end, he held out his gun to her.

“Take it.”

Lysandra’s eyes widened as she shook her head, quickly, realizing what he was implying. “No.”

“Shoot me.” His words were short, clipped, demanding.

“No,” she said, her word just as hard.

“Fucking take it!” he yelled, making tears spring into Lysandra’s eyes.

“No,” she pleaded, her head still shaking, his short hair flying wildly into the dampness on her cheeks as those tears streamed onto her cool, paled skin.

“Someone else is going to die, Lysandra! Take it!”

She couldn’t say it again, but she wouldn’t do it, only watched him with such sadness that it sent his heart crumbling away into nothingness.

“Make it stop!” His voice echoed in the silence of the stables as he screamed, a loud, broken string of three words that had his throat feeling hoarse.

Lysandra kept her hands at her sides as her soft sobs shook her body. But she said, barely audible, “No.”

Rowan’s chest was heaving as he screamed. No words, just a morbid, mangled noise. He was crying, knew he was crying, didn’t care that he was crying. Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me, he pleaded, inside of his mind as his screams faded away into the oncoming nightfall.

But Lysandra took his gun out of his hand and emptied it out before opening his jacket and putting it back into his holster. Then, she took his face into her hands and brushed away his tears before pulling him into her, and wrapping her arms around his body.

They stayed like that for a moment in nothing but the silence before Lysandra said, “We will get through this, Ro, but we will get through it together. And to do that, we will need our leader.”

~~~~~~~~

@mariamuses  @garnet-29  @writer-reader-traveller  @rowaelin-cressworth  @space-buns-arsinoe  @negativenesta  @empress-ofbloodshed  @the-regal-warrior  @starseternalnighttriumphant  @westofmoon  @sammyjojaaaa  @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter  @carbconnoisseur @acer6437  @lorcansalvatearupmyheart  @cool-ish-nerd  @mynewdreamwasyou  @mourning-razorlust  @thespiritualrider  @rowaelinforeverworld  @didsomeonesayviolin  @gloriouspaintercreatorbandit  @yeah-just-ignore-me-thanks  @queen-of-glass  @the-dark-swan  @http-itsrebecca  @holdingon-21@babycardan @tswaney17  @mollycateoc  @chemicha  @bat-wing-rhys @exersize-me-i-dare-u @thespiritualrider  @luna-the-little @morebooks-pls  @shyvioletcat  @hermajestyanna  @a97girl  @stardustsroses  @queenofthemoon22 @alifletcher2012  @awkward-avocado-s  @faerie-queen-fireheart  @cwheart  @lovemollywho @emilyrose111294  @nerdperson524  @sleeping-and-books @cursebreaker29 @flora-and-fae @feyrethedarklady @the-dark-swan @rowaelinforeverworld @sjmsstuff @januarystears @mis-lil-red  @acourtofmoonlight   @rowaelinforeverworld  @courtofmaasdestruction @jjellybean  @thewayshedreamed  @wind-drinker  @aelin-rowan-whitehorn  @starseternalnighttriumphant  @hurema @http-itsrebecca  @lorcansalvatearupmyheart  @cityofchelsea16 @januarystears  @iliketoasterstrudels  @lightitup-bryce  @yikesitsmaddie @feyrethedarklady @i-love-all-books  @keshavomit  @sleeping-and-books @scarznstars  @http-itsrebecca @cat5313 @moondancer-204  @booklover242 @belamoonbeam @they-call-me-cuatro   @b00kworm  @mu-si-ca-l   @thegayerpotato  @abraxos-is-toothless  @keshavomit  @musicdreamer003   @superspiritfestival  @sailorsassley  @mymultiversee @alxanxah @viviaannvu123  @mysweetvillain @theghostlyharrypooperfan @highqueenofelfhame​  @shyvioletcat @maastrash

[theladyofdeath]

In the Bleak Midwinter {10}

A Throne of Glass Period AU: 1920s.

Summary: 2 years after Arobynn Hammel is killed by Rowan Whitethorn, Maeve has returned from Eyllwe with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Rowan is getting married, Lorcan is a father, and Lysandra is finally ready to give her heart away. There’s been peace in The Cadre’s Orynth for 2 years, but peace never lasts.

A/N: pretty sure shit’s about to go down...we’ve reached the middle of this 20 chapter fic! thank you all for reading, reblogging, liking, etc. I thrive on your comments and excitement. x

All characters belong to SJM. I am no more than a fan with a plot.

**Warning: mature content - language, alcohol use, drug use, sex, murders and shit.

Links & masterlists:

Fanfic Masterlist

Ask me

The Cadre - 1920s AU {TOG}

In the Bleak Midwinter {The Cadre, Part 2}

Aelin sat by Vaughan’s side, nearly nonstop, for two days. He was still breathing steadily, and the doctor said he should wake up, but it would be when he was ready, and he hadn’t yet, which only increased Aelin’s anxiety, and she could hardly take any more anxiety.

It was nearly nightfall on Saturday evening, and Aelin knew she should join the others for dinner, but she had no appetite. The others cared for Vaughan, too, of course, but Aelin was the one who felt responsible for what had happened, even though everyone had told her not to think such things.

She couldn’t help it, though.

Instead of joining the others for dinner, Aelin opened up the morning paper and began reading it aloud. Although Vaughan didn’t stir, she liked to think that he was listening and knew he liked to stay informed. Once she’d gotten through the paper, she set it on the nightstand and gave him the news from the house, too.

“Lysandra has been taking care of Aedion, and he seems to be healing quickly,” Aelin began, sitting back in her chair with her feet propped on the side of the mattress. “I think it’s because Lys is giving him extra attention, but she denies that theory.”

Vaughan’s chest slowly rose and fell.

“Speaking of lovers, Gav has been trying to avoid Natalia as much as possible, but she’s been seeking him out, I swear,” Aelin said, and couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yesterday, she passed behind him and pinched his ass, and I have never seen Gavriel’s cheeks get so red.”

It was hilarious. Aelin had left Vaughan’s side to go get a glass of water before bed, and she passed by them the second it happened. Despite everything that was going on, Aelin nearly cried she was laughing so hard.

“Tomorrow is Sunday, though, so that’s shit,” Aelin went on, her smile fading. “I’m worried about them, especially since you won’t be there.” She shook her head, looking away from Vaughan to the open window and the sun sinking down beyond the distant hills. “But Ro is adamant that they must make their move, and as much as I hate it, I understand it. The quicker Maeve is defeated, the better.”

Aelin couldn’t bear losing anyone else. Elide’s death had been tragic, and although she kept telling herself that Vaughan would wake up, if this shit with Maeve continued on, they would only lose another one of their family, and that was not okay.

Aelin wished she knew where Maeve was hiding so she could put a bullet into the bitch’s head herself. 

Unfortunately, though, that was impossible, because Rowan kept her completely out of the loop, and every time she tried to talk to him about it, she was only ignored.

She loved her husband, knew he was trying to protect her and their baby, but he was being a complete dick.

With a sigh, she looked back at Vaughan, picked up the book of poetry on his nightstand, and began reading, once more.

~~~~

Lorcan kissed Lucy’s head and laid her in the crib before walking to his adjoining room. He had rocked her to sleep, like Elide used to, and was surprised when she was snoring soundly five minutes later. He gave her one last look over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him.

The second he stepped into his room, he froze.

Natalia sat on the edge of his bed, reading a book.

He lifted a brow. “Get bored of Gavriel and want to fuck me, instead?”

Natalia’s eyes narrowed as she snapped her book shut. “No. You disgust me.”

“Damn, let me down easy, okay,” he muttered, plopping down in a wooden chair. As he untied his shoes, he asked, “What’s going on with you and Gav, anyways?”

She shrugged a shoulder as she said, “He is afraid to be with me, I am too much of a woman for him to handle.”

Lorcan laughed - a true, genuine laugh. “I could see that. You need a strong man, Natalia.”

Natalia hummed her agreement before asking, “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Lorcan took a moment to think about his answer. No, he wasn’t, because if he died, he’d be taken away from Lucy, leaving her orphaned. And yet, he was, because if he died, he’d be able to find his wife in the afterlife and kiss her, once again.

At last, he shrugged. “Is anyone ever really ready to walk into battle?”

Natalia’s lips thinned as she nodded. “I suppose that is a valid question.” 

Lorcan nodded, taking a bottle of half-drunk whiskey from the table beside him and popping the top. “What do you think about America?”

Natalia froze, the question catching her off guard. “America?”

“Yeah,” Lorcan said. “I’ve been thinking that after this shit with Maeve is done, we could go there.” 

Natalia hesitated. “To live there?”

Lorcan shrugged, taking a massive chug from the bottle. “Why not?”

“Because your life is here,” Natalia said, quietly. “Because your family is here.”

Lorcan set the glass bottle back on the table, a little too hard. “Elide is my family. Lucy is my family. One of them is dead, the other goes with me wherever I go.”

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Natalia’s eyes softened. “You want to run away.”

He wanted to snap, wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but she wasn’t, and she knew it, as did he. So, he shook his head, slowly, inspecting a loose floorboard a few feet away from his bare toes. “Everywhere I look, I see her. It doesn’t matter where I am, or who I’m with, everywhere I go in this fucking city, I see her.”

Natalia shifted on the edge of the bed before asking, “And that pains you?”

His eyes snapped to hers as his jaw hardened. “What the fuck do you mean? Of course it pains me! I lost my fucking wife, Natalia!”

If Natalia was surprised at his outburst, she didn’t show it. She simply said, “And I lost a friend, and Lucy lost a mother. I know that Elide was the love of your life, Lorcan, which is why it surprises me that you wish to leave this city behind, for it is one of the few things you have left of her.”

A moment of silence passed before Lorcan reached to grab the bottle, once again. As he put the cool glass to his lips, Natalia spat, “That’s right, numb your emotions with alcohol. That’ll help.”

He slowly took the bottle from his lips as he met Natalia’s cold stare. “Fuck you.”

Natalia’s shoulders tensed as she stood up, abruptly, and began to leave the room.

“Fuck,” Lorcan breathed, almost tempted to let her go, but he didn’t. “I’m sorry, okay? I just...I didn’t mean that.”

Natalia froze, but she didn’t turn around. 

“I don’t know how to handle this,” Lorcan said, his voice growing quiet. “Yeah, I drink to numb it all, because the emotions are too much to handle, you know? No, I don’t know how to keep seeing her everywhere I look and realize that she’s not actually here, that she never will be again. And yes, sometimes that makes me want to run away and start over.”

For a moment, no one spoke, no one moved, but then Natalia slowly turned around to look at Lorcan. Her jaw was still rigid, her shoulders stiff, but her eyes were no longer cold. 

In a quiet voice, she said, “Elide would not want you to run, Lorcan. She would want you to be near your family, those you love, those she loved...and she would want you to be happy.”

Lorcan quickly looked away so that she wouldn’t see how his eyes grew misty. 

“It will take time,” Natalia said, turning her back to him, once more. “But, there is no shame in mourning, Lorcan.”

She was nearly out of his room when he called, “Natalia.”

She stopped, looking over her shoulder, waiting.

“You are my family, too,” he said, just in case she wasn’t aware.

She chuckled, but her eyes held a certain fondness as she said, “As you are mine.”

~~~~~

Lysandra kissed a sleeping Aedion on the forehead as she crept out of his bedroom and headed down to the kitchen. She couldn’t sleep, but figured a shot or two of whiskey would have her out in no time.

She was just around the corner when she heard a sudden clatter and froze. It was nearing midnight, and with everything going on, Lysandra’s mind immediately went to the worst case scenario. If it wasn’t for the f-fuck! that followed, Lysandra would have hauled ass the other direction.

She rounded the corner and found Rowan, eyelids drooped and his shirt half unbuttoned, sitting on the floor, his back leaned up against the cabinets with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in his hand.

Although he was less than ten feet away, he raised his hand high in the air and waved.

Lysandra just shook her head and crossed her arms. “What the hell are you doing, Ro?”

He blinked, then raised the nearly-empty bottle. “Drinking.”

“I see that,” Lysandra said, with a sigh. “Shouldn’t you be upstairs in bed with your wife?”

Rowan snorted. “Fuck no, she doesn’t want to be around me.”

His words were slurred, his cheeks flushed. Lysandra rubbed her temples as she said, “You’re even stupider when you’re drunk, you know that? All she wants is to be around you.”

“No, she wants to know what’s going on,” Rowan corrected, his long finger pointed in Lysandra’s direction. “She wants to be a part of this fucking war, and that’s not going to happen.” 

“She feels like you’re keeping information-.”

“Obviously I’m keep-keeping information,” he said, blinking before he took another swig from the bottle. “The more information she knows, Lys, the more dangerous it is.”

“Aelin is tough-.”

“She’s carrying my fucking child.” The words came out hurried, quiet, and when Lysandra tried to meet his gaze, he quickly looked away. “Stay out of my marriage, Lys, and I won’t ask you about Ashryver, alright? Just...Just…”

“Just,” Lysandra repeated, voice full of sarcasm and venom, then kicked his boot. “Get up.”

“No,” he said, and downed the rest of the liquid from the bottle. “I’m content where I am.”

“Fuck, you’re pathetic,” Lysandra breathed, and reached down to tug on his arm. “Come on, you idiot, tomorrow is important and you need rest.”

He sighed, loudly and dramatically. “I can’t rest, Lys, I can’t fucking sleep!”

Lysandra froze and dropped his arm as his tone rang through the quiet kitchen. “Fine. Stay here, ignore your wife, be a dick.”

Lysandra went to take a step away, but then Rowan said, quietly, “I’m not a fucking dick, I’m trying to keep you all fucking safe. Pardon me if I need a fucking drink.”

With a defeated sigh, Lysandra slowly turned back around. He was a mess, dark circles beneath his eyes, his hair sticking up wildly, his close wrinkled. “What’s going on, Ro? You’ve been in plenty of shitty situations, and you’ve always kept yourself put together. You’re a fucking mess.”

“We’re all going to die,” he said, tossing his hands into the air. “Elide….now Vaughan is unconscious, and my wife blames herself, and nothing I say fucking helps. My wife, Lys, my pregnant wife came into the house two days ago covered in fucking blood, having just shot a man, because I wasn’t there to protect her. I have tried so damn hard to protect her, and all she does is get pissed at me for it.” 

“Ro-.”

“Remember when we were kids?” Rowan asked, staring up at the ceiling. “When we were just two fucking kids, and the world wasn’t on my shoulders? When the most interesting thing to happen to us was you and me, sneaking around behind Clarisse’s back? Fuck.”

“It was never easy, Ro,” Lysandra whispered. “Our lives have never been easy.” 

“No,” he agreed, “but everyone’s fate didn’t rest in my hands, either.”

Lysandra watched him for a moment. She could see the pain, the hurt, the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was because of that look, that heartbreak, that Lysandra reached out her hands and said, as gently as possible, “Come on, Ro. Let me walk you upstairs.”

For a second, he looked like he would protest, but then he took her hands and allowed her to help him up.

Gods, he was massive. Not only did he tower over her, but as drunk as he was, a lot of his weight fell into Lysandra, who barely stayed on her own two feet. 

But his arms were around her, clearly leaning on her for support. After a few failed attempts, and a few stumbles where Rowan ended up on the ground, they finally found their groove and walked through the silent house. The stairs took the longest to conquer, but once they reached the second floor, his bedroom was only a short distance.

When they got to the door of the master bedroom, Rowan froze.

Lysandra saw the internal war going on within him, as she had a hundred times before. 

“Just go lay with her, Ro,” she whispered. “Let her know that you love her.”

He nodded, nearly ready to fall over again, but then he let go of Lysandra and let himself inside. She was left alone in the hall, hurting for her best friend and for the boy that was now a man, the boy who was tossed into a world that he didn’t choose, a world that was eating him alive, slowly, day by day, hour by hour. 

~~~~~

Maeve sat in the den of her little home on the outskirts of town, a drink in one hand, a cigarette in the other. She had discarded her heels, but her stockings and day clothes remained. She longed to be in something more comfortable, but with Cairn there, that would be horribly inappropriate. 

Although late, he had come to give her his daily report, as her second.

“And is there news on Vaughan?” she asked. It had been nearly all she’d thought about in two days, after her men returned saying that the quiet one had been injured. Her man, however, had been shot by Aelin Galathynius - Maeve had been keeping her out of it, because she was pregnant, but maybe she shouldn’t have been. If Rowan’s wife was dangerous, she should be added to the list, too. 

“He still lives, as far as I know,” Cairn replied, sitting in the large armchair across from her, near the blazing fire. 

Maeve hummed, unable to decide if that was a good thing or not. She had always been fond of Vaughan. Gavriel, too. “Very well. And how are things going for tomorrow?”

“Whitethorn wants to meet in a field beyond the city limits,” Cairn said. “As far as I know, we still have more men than they do, but we have to be weary of their gun supply. We’ve been trying to get a hold of new weapons, but in this city, that’s not easy, and having anything shipped in will take too long.”

Maeve sighed, running a hand through her dark, cropped hair. “They stole them from Arobynn, you can’t steal them back?”

“You make it sound like an easy task,” Cairn crooned. 

“If I wanted easy shit done, I would do it myself,” Maeve snapped, bringing the cigarette to her lips. “If they have the guns, we need to have something over them, something in our favor aside from a few extra men.”

She stilled then, the idea popping into her mind with such clarity that she couldn’t help but laugh, softly, forcing Cairn to look at his leader as if she’d gone mad.

“I’ve got it,” she breathed. “Oh, I’ve fucking got it.”

Carin blinked. “Mind sharing or should I take a guess?”

“All in good time, my love,” she said, her grin wide, wicked as she leaned back into her chair and continued to indulge herself. “You and the boys take care of tomorrow, and I will make a plan for what comes after that.”

A cruel, wicked plan for her boys.

After all, it was what they deserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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