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luxaryllis · 1 year ago

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hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst platonic #twst sibling reader #twst angst #azul ashengrotto

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krisluxxeeempress · 12 days ago

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VENUS OPPOSITE MARS SYNASTRY | ASTRO SYNASTRY SERIES

Girls come from Venus and boys come from mars, complete opposites but attracted towards each other nonetheless, right? The thing is, mars and Venus respectively, create a superficial and short-term connection which resembles most relationships these days.

This synastry doesn’t have a love at first sight vibe. It’s more of a lust at first sight. Everything with this synastry especially in the beginning is contingent on appearances and the tension of what sex with the other will be like. I will acknowledge that plenty of relationships that started off sexual and based on appearance has lead into a long-term commitment however, we aren’t there yet and sharing this synastry aspect with another will not reveal long term, just short term. The here and now.

The Venus person does everything within their power to be attractive to the mars person and the mars person does everything within their power to conquer the Venus person. This is a runner/ chaser synastry. This is “two can play that game” synastry. This is “ playing hard to get” synastry and in most cases, once the other has gotten what was given- it’s over. You need to understand that Mars and Venus are both superficial and operate on a surface level. There’s no depth and if you share this synastry with someone, and if you are honest with yourselves, you know this is true. This depth i speak of is saved for long term commitments, where your partner is able to see you without your makeup, without money or when you're smelling funny.

Depth in a relationship is a turn off and the main reason those with this synastry run away from the other or end things because it implies seriousness. The energy this synastry exudes is unable to appreciate the other without the extra, the glitz, the glamor, fun and sex- no strings attached. Imagine being at the gym. The Venus person, if she’s the woman, will show up with hair and makeup done with tight fitting or minimal clothing to be viewed as attractive. The Mars person, if he’s the man, will show up similarly but he will add emphasis on lifting heavy weights- mainly arms or chest or some exercise where his junk imprint is seen. Do not get me wrong, the Mars and Venus person are both trying to be attractive, but the Venus person will be more obvious and suggestive. My point is, both parties are showing up to the gym, where the expectation is to grind, sweat, focus and be ugly- but instead they show up the complete opposite because they are there to attract and turn someone or everyone on. They are both striving to be sex symbols.

They both want to be desired in a sexual manner. Before moving on to my next point, if Venus is the woman, she will absolutely be squatting, bending over and just being suggestive with her movements while acting oblivious. Same concept if the roles are reversed with Venus being the man and mars being the woman. Regardless, the Venus person will always be the overt one trying to appear sexy because this makes them feel important especially if they accomplish attracting the mars person. In most cases everyone will want the Mars person more than Venus person. So for Venus to capture the Mars person it’ll be an accomplishment.

I’m sure you expected me to say that everyone wants the Venus person, but no. Let’s say Venus is the woman. How many times have you seen attractive women who all want, compete and hate the next women over a man ie. The Mars person. Now, how many times have you seen a man ie. Mars, fighting another man over a women ie. Venus ?

Only in long term relationships but as I’ve already established, this synastry aspect is not about a long-term relationship- you, see? Generally speaking, a man is never going to fight another man over a women that they aren’t serious about. In worse but common cases, you will find the man more than willing to share the woman. The same cannot be said for women. Women do not want to share a man and this is when fighting, jealousy and drama come into play. Emphasis on the word play! Venus opposite Mars is all about games. If at any point you became confused while reading or listening to this, you can expect this dynamic to bring about confusion as well, which is part of the game of attraction and superficial “love”.

It makes things exciting. This is the synastry for those in situationships or those acting like a couple but not actually being in one officially. If at any point one person begins to want or demand more, you will witness a breakup or another person being added into the mix to cause drama. This drama is strategically inserted with intent to deviate from a commitment and usually the Mars person is the creator of such a strategy. The Venus person will always try to make the Mars person jealous and the Mars person will respond by actually making the Venus person jealous by following through and getting someone else that Venus person will inevitably compete with. The Mars person will play to win, always remember that. The mars person will take away the Venus person’s power with a quickness. An example of this would be the Venus person thinking they’re the prize, they look good and assume the Mars person cannot do better. The Venus person may even resort to withdrawing sex as a strategy in her game. The Mars person in turn, will then go out and find multiple others to have sex with and who usually look better than the Venus person.

The Mars person game is about dominating and conquering even if that means doing so in alternative ways. Mars doesn’t have to sex with the Venus person to hurt or make the Venus person jealous. The Mars person is ruthless in this game and Venus does not stand a chance though it may appear so in the beginning. The Mars person considers themselves the winner of this game, the moment the Venus person gives Mars attention. So, if you are the Venus person reading or listening to this claiming you haven’t had sex with Mars yet , while assuming you still hold power, I am sorry to say you are wrong. It’s like a cat and mouse game with Venus being the mouse. And like mice, just because they’re fast and elusive, the cat always wins in the end. This is not a synastry aspect to frown upon because opposites make a whole therefore, these individuals like this game, this dynamic. They are different but alike all the same. Again, women love men and men love women no matter how different they are. They are still attracted to each other and go through all the motions of being with someone that is their opposite. What works for me may not work for another therefore, I am not saying this is a bad or negative synastry to share with someone. It works for them until it doesn’t.

When we observe relationships that start off like this, usually someone wants things to evolve into something more serious and that’s when the opposition arises and can no longer be ignored, laughed, or fucked away.( like before) Like I said, oppositions make a whole so at some point one person in this synastry will crave to become whole and the other person will begin to resist and start a war zone- and usually this is the Mars person. The Mars person will view this demand or request of becoming serious as a threat and will activate that inherited war and combative spirit to oppose the incoming threat of a commitment and ultimately, depth with another person. It is at this point when the Venus person will start dating others in hopes to make the Mars person jealous. Or the Venus person will give silent treatment, withdraw sexual activities, cry to friends and family members, post meme’s, try to appear unbothered. The Venus person will try to become more attractive, change hair colors or turn to watching tarot to see if the Mars person is suffering without them.

As forementioned, the Mars person will start dating other people with intent of recreating this Venus opposite Mars synastry. Mars will have sex with others and secretly compare the others to the Venus person. It is during this time that the Mars person surrenders or keeps fighting so hard that this situationship is over for good. This is the time when the decision if whether to make things serious or not.

Like I mentioned before- this isn’t the synastry of long term though it can become that. Mars is the one who has control over whether it becomes serious or not. Have you ever heard of a noncommittal player becoming faithful and settling down? Yeah, they more than likely share this synastry with someone who at first they played games with and then eventually got serious with.

If you tell me that you have this synastry with someone but you do not like playing games or engaging in casual sex and relationships- I would call you a liar and challenge you to dig deeper within yourself. You are what you attract even opposites. Having this synastry with someone may even awaken you to something you weren’t aware of or in denial of about yourself- not to get all spiritual.

In conclusion, if you share this synastry with someone- this is about game playing, power, sex, appearances and jealousy. This can also reveal how your relationship will start with this person and may God be with you if you are the Venus person.

Sidenote: The mars person will not care how good your sex or appearances are enough to be controlled by it.

#astrology #krisluxxeeempress #astrology observations #astro community #astro observations #astrologer #astrology aspects #venus synastry #mars synastry #venus opposite mars #love astrology #love synastry #astro blog #astro notes

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ky-yk · 11 months ago

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mistletoe (kjw x f!reader)

genre: fluff; wc: 2.4k

a/n: guess who’s back, back again

but fr tho the liz brainrot is REAL she’s so ☹️☹️ and im in dire need of content for this cutie so someone had to take matters into their own hands

"ahh, jiwon-ah, you're so cute!"

that was the first thing jiwon heard as soon as she opened the door to the ive dorms: your usually quiet demeanor going out the window at the sight of her.

with a big, bright smile, you immediately launched yourself at the girl and threw your arms over her shoulders, bringing her in for a hug. the poor girl was flustered beyond belief, absolutely clueless about where to place her arms and as red as rudolph's nose. reluctantly, she wrapped them around your waist, which only prompted you to hug the girl even closer and tighter.

"i missed you so much, jiwonie, you don't even know," you whispered into her neck, as if you'd told her a secret. the poor girl's eyes went wide and she could feel her face heat up even more. you, though, you just thought she felt even more huggable considering the cold seoul air you walked through with your members to get to their dorm entrance.

speaking of members...

liz raised her gaze to meet 4 other pairs of eyes staring at the whole ordeal in front of them. their looks ranged from surprised at their usually reserved member being so affectionate, to a teasing smirk here and there, to a big smile from someone who's just happy to be there.

"chaewon-unnie! kkura-unnie! you guys made it!" shouted yujin from the inside of the dorm. at her shout, you drew back a little bit from jiwon to peek over her shoulder at her leader. you gave yujin a big smile that she returned with her own, her eyes disappearing into crescents.

your members let themselves into the ive dorm one by one, greeting jiwon's members with yunjin closing the door behind them. with how you've buried your face in jiwon's chest, still hugging the girl from the waist instead, you missed the looks that your members shot the girl. jiwon moved her arms up to your shoulders and finally grabbed ahold of herself and cleared her throat.

"um, let's go in, y/n-ie?"

she felt you nod against her chest.

"are you gonna let go...?"

you lifted your head to pout up at the girl. "do you want me to?" you asked. she immediately shook her head no with wide eyes.

"i--i don't! i was just asking, y/n-ie..." she pouted. you smiled up at her and gave her a peck on the cheek. "you're so cute, jiwonie..."

with your arms still around each other, you both made your way into the living room. unbeknownst to you both, conversations were brewing in the kitchen.

"100,000 won says they're getting together tonight," yunjin offhandedly mentions.

"absolutely not!" chaewon counters.

"yeah, that'd just be easy money," sakura shrugged. rei looked up from the dessert she was making to shoot sakura a smirk.

"wait, they're not together, yet?" kazuha asked. "i mean, they sure looked like they were."

"nope. have you seen jiwon? the poor girl could never make moves on y/n-ie. i mean, look!" rei directs everyone's attention towards the living room where y/n is sitting close to wonyoung while the latter was showing something on her phone. meanwhile, jiwon was sulking off to the side -- complete with a pout, crossed arms, and a giant ugly christmas sweater that makes her look so small you wouldn't think she was just as tall as yujin and wonyoung.

"i guess fearlessness carries over to shamelessness? try being more obvious, guys," gaeul sighs as she walks by the group in the kitchen, trying to get a bottle of water from the fridge. "yeah, guys, the dessert's not gonna make itself," yujin adds.

slowly, everyone starts piling out of the kitchen into the dining room. the girls all unconsciously assigned themselves roles of either setting the table or arranging the dishes. you didn't want to disturb the girls or mess with their flow, so you stood at the side by yourself as you watched the christmas feast slowly come to life with a smile on your face.

you felt someone's eyes boring into the side of your head, so you turned your head in the direction and found jiwon staring right at you. when you caught her, she immediately looked ahead at the spread in front of her, while a red was spreading across her face that she was hoping you wouldn't catch. chuckling at the girl's actions, you walked over to her and cuddled up to her side while wrapping your arms around her waist. you looked up at the girl and gave her an easy smile. when she hesitantly met your gaze, you could feel your heart race as she gave you a smile in return. you tightened your hold on her waist as you buried your face in her neck.

with how close you were holding her, you were hoping she wouldn't feel the way your heart jackhammered against your chest.

ah, what am i going to do with you, jiwonie?

with a clap, sakura called on everyone's attention. "ja, before we eat, i just wanted to say a few words." everyone listened intently at the eldest person in the room as she rambled on and on, thanking her own members as well as the ive members and congratulating them on a successful year.

while wiping away tears, yujin announced, "alright, let's dig in!"

the girls all took a seat around the table and dug in. conversation flowed effortlessly between them. half the time, though, you would just stay quiet and relish in the moment. with your it's not very often you and your members would get to have dinner with friends like normal people your age, so you wanted to savor every second of this.

as soon as the energy started going down, wonyoung went into the kitchen to grab something. you, leeseo, and eunchae were talking about the latest twice comeback when a round of cheers piqued your interest. you looked up and peeked over your shoulder to see what the ruckus was about when you saw wonyoung walking over carrying a few bottles of soju. soon enough, the energy came back up as the drinks started flowing -- maybe even more so than when you guys weren't tipsy.

throughout the night, you and jiwon had gotten pretty close, but only to hear each other over the rowdiness of everyone else (yunjin and drinks never made a good combo). in the middle of your conversation, though, a certain someone's shout caught both of your attention.

"look who got caught under the mistletoe!" yujin screamed. you excitedly looked up, trying to find the damned fruit around the ceiling, until you finally found it.

above you and jiwon.

the table immediately erupted in hollers, with the mistletoe acting like a spotlight on the both of you. "kiss! kiss! kiss!" the group chanted, lead by jiwon's own leader. you could feel the heat radiating off of jiwon. you knew the girl was shy -- she didn't like having all this kind of attention on her. you chuckled nervously as you turned to look at the girl who looked like she was about to cry, face as red as a tomato. thankfully, wonyoung and gaeul took notice and shifted the conversation towards something else.

however, the damage had already been done.

quietly, the girl got up from her seat. on instinct, you reached up for her, wanting to make sure she was okay. before you could even get a word out, jiwon was already shaking her head. "it's okay, y/n," she whispered before running off to what you assumed was her room.

all you could do was watch helplessly as she disappeared. you turned back towards the table, looking on as everyone just continued as if nothing had happened. as you assessed the scene, you noticed wonyoung staring straight at you. as soon as you made eyes with the girl, she gave you a nod as if to say, "go after her." with that, you excused yourself from the table and made your way towards the room you saw jiwon disappear into, vaguely hearing a slap, a groan, and a distant, "what the hell were you thinking?!" from wonyoung.

you stared at the white door ahead of you before hesitantly raising your fist up to knock. after three raps, you spoke up. "jiwon-ah? it's me, y/n. can i come in?"

after 5 seconds, nothing came from the other side. you knew jiwon -- she didn't like being pressured. you were about to turn around and leave, before you heard a small, "come in," from the other side of the door.

slowly, you turned the knob and pushed the door open and peeked your head in. "jiwonie? you good?" you asked in a small voice. you let yourself into the room more and noticed how small the girl looked sitting on the edge of her bed -- as if she wasn't at least 5 cm taller than you. you slowly approached the girl and took a seat beside her.

you waited for a minute, just sitting in silence with jiwon. while usually you would relish in the silence, your mind was racing a mile a minute, wondering how you were going to talk to her again.

until she made your life easier.

"i'm sorry about that earlier," jiwon said in a small voice. it broke your heart to see and hear the usually boisterous girl sound so...defeated. you quickly turned your attention toward her and were quick to reassure her.

"wait, why are you sorry?" you asked.

"i...my members must've made you feel uncomfortable. i'll talk to them about this tomorrow," the girl sighed, complete with a shake of her head.

"no no, i wasn't uncomfortable, i swear, jiwonie," you tried again, cupping her hands for comfort.

"you don't have to lie, i compl--"

the words died in her throat as she felt a pair of lips come in contact with her cheek. she immediately felt the heat rise up her neck to her face and her eyes went wide as she processed what the hell just happened.

she didn't have much time to do so, though, because she felt your hand snake up and cup her other cheek to get her to look at you. when your eyes met, your hand moved down to cup her neck instead while your eyes disappeared into crescents -- her favorite part about you.

but that might just change as soon as she felt your kiss on her forehead.

is it possible to get second-hand drunk? i didn't have a touch of alcohol, but maybe all that soju in the air got me drunk. yeah. that's probably it, because there's absolutely no way y/n is looking at me like i put the stars in the sky.

"i'm not mad at your members because i really wanted to do this, jiwon," you whispered. you felt her face heat up more under your palm. how can someone be this cute?

"really?"

"really, jiwonie."

"...is that all you wanted to do?" she whispered.

you chuckled at the girl. "if that's all you want me to do."

she leaned forward to nose at your nose like a cat. oh, jiwon, you're going to be the death of me. "what if i want you to do more?"

"then your wish is my command."

you took that as your sign to close the gap between you two and softly pressed your lips to hers. for a second, it seemed as though jiwon was frozen in place, but it seems like her brain had finally caught up to the present when she returned your kiss with a lot more passion. you couldn't help but smile into the kiss and tighten the hold you had on her waist -- it was like everything you've ever imagined.

you both finally pulled apart after a few seconds but still remained well within each other's proximity. she was about to lean in for another before you stopped her, your finger meeting her lips instead.

"uh-uh-uh, jiwonie," you chuckled. "not yet."

the girl only pouted in reply. she buried her head in your neck and rested her whole weight on you, prompting you both to lie down on the bed behind you both. your heart had never felt fuller.

"jiwon-ah."

she lifted herself off of you a little bit to get a look at you, attention on you like a cat to a laser pointer. you smiled at the girl before leaning up and giving her another peck. when you pulled away, she immediately chased after your lips for an even longer and a little more heated kiss. you kept your hands on her neck to both steady her and try to control the pace. when she pulled away for a bit, you took that as your cue. "we still need to talk, jiwonie," you said. it was as if she snapped out of her daze with how her eyes went wide and she immediately pushed herself off of you.

you could tell she was getting worried again, and you decided to stop her in her tracks. "ah-ah-ah, jiwonie. it's okay what you did back there, really. i just think we should talk first about...whatever this is," you reasoned out.

jiwon still looked very much apprehensive, but she nodded anyways.

"if you want, i can start first. i very much like you, kim jiwon, and i'd like it if you were mine only," you spoke with much conviction.

"i..." was the only thing the other girl could let out.

you, though, you just kept staring at her with an easy smile. you didn't want to pressure her into anything, and you hoped she understood that with the look you were giving her.

"i...i like you a lot too, y/n-ie. i really do. but..."

"ah-ah-ah! no buts, jiwon-ah. i know exactly what you're going to say, and I'm not having it. you're the most amazing person on the planet, and if you'll let me, i want to make you feel like you are," you tried to assure her.

all she could do was gape at you, so you did what you could do best -- you gave her one more peck.

"alright, are you ready to get back out there? we've still got gifts to open, you know?"

"only if you stay with me."

"there's no where else i'd rather be."

#🐻 — ky writes #girl group imagines #ive imagines #ive x reader #ive liz #liz x reader #kim jiwon x reader #jiwon x reader

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asterythm · 5 months ago

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on the ending of in stars and time:

an essay from someone who couldn’t sit with it at first, & a love letter to the fic that brought me here anyway. (…spoiler warning for in stars and time, naturally, but you knew that!)

if siffrin isat has taught me one thing it's that vulnerability is cool, actually, and being forthcoming and generous with love when there is love to be shared is how the coolest kids do it.

so. hello isat nation of tumblr dot com. i'm here because even after cutting out several chunks to shorten this significantly, i busted through the ao3 comment section character limit and still had more to say, so i needed somewhere to put it all that would let me go longer.

i’m pretty sure this post is for, like, three people, one of whom is me. but look, it’s been moved here to the webbed site so if you wanna read it anyway i won’t stop you!

=====

i think what it is, ultimately, is this: the ISAT canon ending was beautiful. it was an objectively well-written ending with so much love and hope and thematic satisfaction.

it also left me, for a period, with a deep and unshakeable sense of dread.

:)!!!!

now enter @faedemon's "None Forward & Two, Two, Two Steps Back" (hiya, fancy seeing you here), a two-chapter alt act 5 in which siffrin finds a New, Worse way to break the loops.

despite being, as mentioned, a notably worse outcome for everyone involved, this alt end managed to cut straight to the heart of that dread and settle it — and not in the sense of "oh, i like this alt ending better", or “oh, the canon ending looks better in comparison against this worse alt ending”, so much as "oh, thanks to this alt ending i am finally able to sit in a place where it no longer feels like the canon ending, as a beautiful outcome which felt impossibly lucky to get, is the only outcome in which life can go on — and my ability to accept it, and the game as a whole, is elevated for it."

which!! i mean!! i don’t know that that’s exactly what you set out to do; None Forward is explicitly a tragedy!! and one, as your tags say, written because the canon ending didn't ring true for you.

but I realized that the thing that was stopping me from enjoying ISAT’s canon ending was that ugly hard core that was still so, so scared after the canon ending of every way we (that is, siffrin + i as the player moving in that incredible ludonarrative lockstep with him, holy moly the harmony in this game) had not yet grown to earn it.

=====

(I’ll take a sec here under the cut to say that when I played ISAT, and then for much of the month that followed, my main reason for engaging with it and its related content at all was that it was a piece of media that came fervently recommended by my incredibly dear friend @iconocat , who it had massively, violently impacted and whose media recommendations in general I trust more than anything.

so i played ISAT, and it was incredible. but even though it's a piece of media that just about hit on every point on my list of Things That Set My Brain On Fire, it failed somehow to. well. set me on fire — at least to the extent I was expecting it to. I still enjoyed myself in the few weeks afterwards of running through fan content and intentionally plunging myself into media analysis, but I was never convinced that I would be engaging with ISAT to the extent I was if it wasn't for the sake of trying to intentionally hack my brain to the point where I could share with my friend something so important to her at the same level of genuine investment.

I’m telling you all this because, legitimately the same night I posted “nothing but a dull ache” (ie, if you're not charlie faedemon and are somehow caring to read this anyway, the epilogue oneshot I started feverishly writing the morning after reading None Forward), I realized through my rambling in my friend’s discord dms that reading None Forward was the moment the fire finally caught. I spent a month burying myself in ISAT content and asking myself “Is this natural yet?”. after None Forward, the answer to that question finally became a sure, wholehearted yes.)

=====

so anyway, back to the essay.

don't get me wrong. it's really, really nice, to read a story where the moral is less “you should have asked for help", and more “there are people who will unselfishly give the gift of a love that saves even when you cannot save yourself".

but that whole ending also was only able to happen because 1. they broke in a way no one should ever have to break, and 2. everyone involved got lucky.

which, in media, happens all the time!! it is not inherently dissatisfying for a narrative to wrap by saving you with luck and love in the nick of time!! in fact it should be incredibly satisfying, after the unambiguously-negative downward spiral into Director Siffrin who had begun to learn what to say and do to make his family behave exactly the way he needs them to, for a stroke of unpredictable luck brought about by factors entirely out of his control to finally be what sets him free.

but like... I think it's because the story is set in a situation where it's no longer true that luck and randomness is a factor by which anything significant can change.

we're hammered over the head with it: until and unless you do something to alter the course of events, they will not be altered. when you are the only dynamic element the world is reacting to in an otherwise looping course of events, you don't get to rely, anymore, on the idea that at any moment something could happen to save you. you have to assume that nothing will happen unless you make it.

and siffrin?? siffrin's literal motto was "stick to the script"!! they spend the loops with a mouth that kept closing tighter and tighter and tighter until i got to act 5 and watched them implode. and then I’m saved, and I know I haven't earned this. I get to the end and I'm still not telling them anything!! I wasn't supposed to get the good ending!! but I get away with it anyway with open arms and acceptance and unconditional love, and it's. kind of nauseating?

how am I ever supposed to learn and grow, if I didn't manage to change my behaviour even then under the threat of Eternal Looping Torment, and still got the good ending anyway? how can I prove there was an alternative way I could have broken free if things hadn't turned out so lucky in that one terrible act 5 loop?

I can't. and that's terrifying.

(aside: I’m speaking in the first person here to emphasize that the thing that got in my way is not because I don't believe siffrin is deserving of this love — quite the opposite, I think the driving force behind the good ending is that siffrin went scorched earth and saw he was loved anyway — but because this is a game designed to frequently encourage the player to deeply feel what siffrin is feeling throughout its course and. well. as a thing to happen to a fictional character it's beautiful. as a takeaway for the player, it's... harder.)

and that's where None Forward comes in. (i’ve already written thousands of words in comments and epilogue fic declaring my love by now, but i mean. im hoping you won’t mind just a liiiittle more.)

None Forward shows a devastatingly written, all-too-believable version of what might have happened if siffrin didn't get lucky, and the loops continued, and they kept clinging to the script and refusing to Look At It and successfully stagnating and stagnating and stagnating as they were so determined to do. and it's bad, it's worse, it's way way worse — but there's no reliance on outside factors. it comes completely from within siffrin and loop, the only dynamic pieces in the world, finally breaking out.

it was the terrible, nightmarish unfairness of the loops brought to their natural, just-south-of-inevitable conclusion.

and yes, it's a terrible, unfair conclusion, but the loop still breaks.

in a roundabout way, it... gives me so much hope. if the outside factors were different, if the stars did not align just right to allow siffrin's family to get there on time to save them, if siffrin never learned to open their mouth, which by all means seems like the likeliest course of events... they'd still get out. worse for wear, and separated by a gap unbridgeable, but out.

there is a future. there is freedom.

=====

to speak more specifically on dull ache, if you'll forgive the indulgence, just since this was originally meant to be in a reply to the author in my own comments section:

I think I so desperately needed to write it with a focus on the family siffrin left behind because I wanted to prove, if just for myself, that in that barely-dodged alternative there still could be a future for everyone. (isabeau's just happened to be the voice in which dull ache came to me, but the point was to create an epilogue for all four.)

for the rest of the family, who was not quite so deeply ravaged but was still left in a bad way at the end of None Forward, and for whom randomness is not pretty much unequivocally good just by virtue of being better than the alternative like it is for siffrin and loop (more on that in a sec), I could see it mattering more to set specific pieces up precisely, and I could actually imagine the pieces I could set up that could have a meaningful impact in the immediate future.

so. y’know. I set them, in the way I happened to want to. granted, with some extra... divine indulgence, but siffrin's departure from their family's perspective at the end of None Forward was definitely Wrong but not so obviously wrong that I could believe that without it they wouldn't otherwise either (a) go hunting him down to force out the truth, which felt Worse, or (b) just "accept" that it was as simple as Siffrin not actually caring about them/brushing them off and thus intentionally fade him into the distance in their minds to deal with it. which felt like the WORST POSSIBLE THING.

you'd think it might make more sense to have done this for siffrin and loop, instead. they're arguably the ones who need it most, after all, so why not build them up from rock bottom as a sweeping show of "things get better"?

but... i think it doesn't need to be written to have faith that it will happen: the very fact that Siffrin is about to set out on a new journey in a reality where everything is a dynamic player just. immediately gives me hope all by itself. random lucky things that save you are so much more believable and wonderful when random lucky things in general are happening all the time, and you have all the time in the world for them to happen.

and anyway, I don't think this is the kind of future you’d write satisfyingly as a sequence of events at all. to heal from this is something that will take an incredible amount of time and nonlinear progress.

until one day, through a series of disconnected small quiet gloriously-random lived experiences, without knowing when it happened or being able to trace it back, you realize, oh —

somewhere along the way, you came to know how to live again.

#in stars and time #isat siffrin #siffrin nomiddlename nolastname #oh siffrin. you are so important. to them. to everyone. do you really not see it yet?#none forward au #scheduled post #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #atlasisms

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alphacentaurinebula · 3 months ago

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Fanfic recs - AU edition!

In honour of You're the Bad Guys (E), my Cold War spies AU where Crowley is KGB and Aziraphale is MI6 and they're stationed in 1980s Berlin, I thought I would recommend a few of my favourite AUs.

Half Agony, Half Hope(E) by @gorgeousundertow - a regency romance AU with lots of the real life political unrest, class and privilege all providing a great replacement for the Heaven/Hell Celestial System. The regency period is often portrayed just balls and poshos in empire waistlines, but actually it was a hugely tumultuous period. The disenfranchised classes were demanding better pay, better conditions and the vote, whilst those in power feared any concession would reduce their own power and privilege. The result was some horrific state violence, and some of the most oppressive laws in British history (though there's a lot of competition there...!). It's always nice to see a historical AU that engages with the period so well, and uses it to make Crowley and Aziraphale's romance all the sweeter. One of the only fics I've ever read as a WIP (yes, I still want you to read my WIP, I am a complete hypocrite).

A Love Story with Detective Interruptions (T) by @fremulon - a 1930s AU series (2 works), where Aziraphale is an amateur sleuth in the vein of Miss Marple, exonerating the wrongfully accused (ie, Crowley), and solving house party murders willy nilly. The plots are based on Golden Age of Detective Fiction books (Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Chistie, specifically) and are delightful. The romance is definitely slow burn, but absolutely lovely.

South Downs (E) by @summerofspock - Crowley and Aziraphale star in a historical Bridgerton-esque miniseries, except it's gay. (I would watch the fuck out of that, just saying). Sometimes art mirrors life - sometimes life mirrors art! I love this one and I would legitimately like to watch the TV show they're supposed to be in.

Sit Tight, Take Hold (E) by @nieded - OK this one is not even remotely historical and, like, I hate cars and formula one holds zero interest to me...and yet I INHALED this formula one AU with Crowley and Aziraphale as drivers on opposing teams. Like...I really cared who won...a car race???? Features Gabriel and Sandalphone being true twats, which I must admit I enjoy.

Slow Show (E) by @mia-ugly - And finally, of course, Slow Show. Sure this one is not exactly an undiscovered gem but I still love it and if, in some wild, unreasonable twist of fate you haven't read it, you definitely should!

...plus one last rec - The Leap, by - @friendofcarlottathis is a Destiel fic, not Good Omens. But it is a historical romance AU about Cold War Berlin (in the 1960s, rather than 1980s, and there are no spies, but it is SO excellent for historical detail, especially life in East Germany). And in my opinion you only need to watch a few Castiel and Dean clips on youtube and you're ready to read Destiel AUs. I have only watched a season or so of Supernatural myself 🤷‍♀️

What do you think, have you read any of these? Any favourites? If anyone has other AU's to recommend, especially historical ones, please do!

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfic rec #destiel fic #destiel

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eri-pl · 6 months ago

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Lack of redemption arcs in the Legendarium

Surprisingly, I can't find many, if any at all.

I mean real redemption arcs ie character is evil / has done done serious evil at the start and they put actual work and things happen and at the end they're less evil and do less evil (or none at all).

(And ideally, they don't die at the completion of the arc but separately later or not at all.)

I don't mean things like "did evil things out of trauma it ignorance" (therapy or education is a different thing from redemption. All are great, but different people need different of those.) or "did one very minor thing and is sorry" (it's not an arc, it's something smaller). I mean the real deal.

There are implied redemption arcs (elves in Mandos in general), something that feels like a referenced arc but never described (Osse), a heavy edited story that at one point kind of feels like a redemption arc (Galadriel), failed attempts (all the baddies especially Smeagol and Mairon)...

I don't remember book Boromir well, maybe he... But he's not evil, just a little weak. He does very little wrong. He's more serious than makes bad choices.

Elu Thingol sort of has an arc on "don't be racist against humans" but then dies partially at being racist against dwarves so I'm not sure that counts either.

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, whose greatest crime is being a mean relative. I guess this counts?

Even in Numenor, nobody gets it.

I know it's a modern trend to give everyone redemption arcs, but I would expect, with all the talk about mercy and pity, to see some actual results, more results than "yay, we got the evil defeated because we were good to the bad guy". With all due respect. That's a big result too. But anyway.

I suppose Tolkien just didn't vibe with bad people. He survived the war and I guess it needed more... How to call it? More thinking on terms of "if you cross this line, you're lost". I know theoretically he didn't see it like this. But in practice, you may only go so far (and it's not far) until you're beyond repair.

I don't like it. It's not how the world works. I went further.

Also, another thing that irks me tremendously, but it's an observable rule in all Legendarium:

When your aesthetic is dark or wrong, you are beyond salvation.

You like industry? Bye. You don't like light? Bye! You look ugly (not plain, just ugly)? There might be a few exceptions of Elves who went through Angband, but generally: bye. You don't laugh and feel uneasy in company? Out to the void with you, go join Morgoth. You are depressed and not in a nice (Frodo) way, but in a cold way that makes you feel cynical? Bye. You live at the East and like sun more than noon? You're probably evil too.

I may be oversimplifying a bit, but not by much. It is a thing.

That's not how things work!!!

Seriously. I was there. I was all those things. I am dinner if then still and don't consider it a problem.

I hate this in the books. I love Tolkien's work and what he tried to do, but I feel like I'm some places he failed at it dramatically and the general feel it's not faithful to his intentions.

I hope this rambling is understandable enough, I'm bad at English, especially when ranting.

Luckily, there are fanfics

#tolkien #silmarillion #silm #tolkien legendarium #redemption arc #rant #the silm #the silmarillion #sons of feanor #maeglin #hmm whom to tag #mostly those guys #also #smeagol #not tagging eol or morgoth I'm not asking for extremes...

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snarky-art · 8 months ago

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I swear I dont wanna be mean but why does everyone keep making stella fat. Why is it that the most attractive character, whom everyone finds beautiful inside the show, is the one who is always turned fat. Like... No one would find her attractive if her canon design was like that. I promise im not being mean but I feel like the artists are always projecting themselves onto Stella and wanting to be loved like she is, cause usually the ones making her fat are fat too, like I saw your selfies and you're a bit curvy. I promise im not being mean im just curious.

For starters, send me more fat Stella’s if you can I haven’t seen that many made and would love to see more varied takes on her appearances in redesigns.

Secondly, I made her fat because I think it’s nice to have the character that’s canonically considered to be the most beautiful girl in all of magix, a fashion icon in the magical dimension, a very celebrated trendsetter, be something other than the stereotypical concept of socially acceptable fashion tropes. She isn’t an hourglass, she has cellulite and stretch marks, she’s super pear shaped, and that can be and should be considered something to be normal, since they are, and shouldn’t be seen as things that need to be hidden. Having that put on a loud and proud fashion girly seems good imo and it can only really contribute to good stuff for body image stuff and representation. I did it so people like you could reconsider that beauty is something that comes in multiple forms and shouldn’t have to fit one type of standard. If we wanna get super technical too those standards also very from culture to culture and I image that’s extended even further in Winx club.

The girls are all aliens from different worlds. There’s bug people. There’s a lady in the miss magix episode that has tentacle hair, a blue body, and tentacle hands and feet. I highly doubt beauty standards in canon would be the same as what you’re saying, ie that no one would consider her beautiful. As if people who look like her irl also would inherently be considered not beautiful too. I know lots of people who have people that think they’re the hottest thing ever and they have all sorts of different body types and traits. Lets just call it realism lol

I’m not really projecting any of my physical stuff on her also, outside of I guess stretch marks and cellulite?? But I put those on other characters too so I don’t really think that holds up. I actually put my old body type on Flora since she’s my favorite, but now I’m way more midsized, like a slightly thinner Bloom from my stuff (love this unit of measurement gonna start using the gorls as a reference point for my appearance going forward lol). I’ve always had the “socially acceptable” fat type of body, ie hourglass with even proportions and a super snatched waist. I just think it’s tired and trite to constantly reenforce the idea that “the hot fashion one” needs to be tall and thin all the time, and if she is made fatter, that she needs to look like I did ie not much of a tummy with super equal proportions, big boobs, and a big ass.

Kinda related to that also, I made a post about a lot of character design “rules” too that I think are kinda outdated and annoying, at least to me, since I’ve seen them a million times. We all have. So I decided to do something different that I think would be good for normalizing traits outside of what we consider typically acceptable for that kind of character.

I’m already very loved also and don’t need to project anything on Stella lmaooo

I got multiple partners, great friends, do modeling, and am slaying with my own fashion and appearance stuff outside of that too. That’s all independent of whatever I’m doing with her physical body type when I draw her.

Gonna level with you also, you going “I’m not trying to be mean” doesn’t erase how weird this ask is. Sounds like you have your own gripes that you need to work through. Like, if you consider those traits on Stella ugly, that means you definitely have some internalized hatred for fatness, skin blemishes, scarring, and other peoples’ general appearances if they don’t fit some specific molds that aren’t realistic for the majority of people. Even if it is just genuine curiosity, being aware of this stuff going forwards and reevaluating how you view beauty standards and bodies in general would do you a great benefit imo.

Thanks for going through my old selfies tho it was pretty weird of you but at least make sure to leave a like on them. I looked hot when I was fatter and I look hot now too sharing this with the world is the least I can do💕✨💕✨

#winx club #winx #asks #normalize other body types being considered hot because that’s just how it is irl too outside of what magazines and movies might tell you #people fall in love with all kinds of people or think all sorts of people that aren’t models are hot #and they’ve got bodies like hers #it’s just realistic if you wanna get technical lol

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ratherbefangirling · 7 months ago

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Mi casa (3.5)

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Genre: omegaverse, Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Pairing: ot7 x reader

Warning ⚠️: funeral, insensitive comments, suicide ideation(please if you feel this way please get help)

It's rare that you and namjoon fight the two of you avoid fighting each other like plague. Always ready to be understanding, to forgive, to let go , to kiss and make up. When one of you is stubborn the other yields and is generous.

But when it did happen then the two of you are stubborn as mule and it gives Jin a headache. Because every one comes to complain to him. He's the pack alpha. He knows it's his job. Normally he loves being the Alpha. But in times like this he can feel his blood pressure shoot through the roof.

The most common fights he has to break are between Taehyung and Jimin. But it's usually simpler. Yoongi and Hobi try to make Jimin understand and Namjoon and Jungkook handle Taehyung. But when it's about the other soulmate pair namely you and Joon it's tough. Because you are closest to each other. Like some sort of cocoon. He doesn't mind he sort of gets it. But in such situations. He's extra stressed about not hurting the either of you. Because its easy for both of you to feel alienated.

If he takes Namjoons side you may feel like he hasn't accepted you as pack and if he takes yours Namjoon may feel like everyone is against him and its not a pretty scene.

Jungkook comes in the kitchen whistling as Jin sits and contemplates the situation. Jugkook takes a bottle of water from the fridge and chugs it and keeps it back. He slaps Jin's butt as he sits next to Jin and opens a bag of chips and starts eating.

"Ya Jeon Jungkook. I've told you not to eat those they are Y/n's"

"I'll buy her more." Jungkook replies and Jin gives him a look of disbelief.

"It's fine. She'll forgive me. She's too busy being mad at Namjoon hyung anyway"

"Do you have any idea why they fought."

"I do." Jungkook says taking another bite.

Jin rolls his eyes.

"And when were you going to mention it?"

Jungkook shrugs. "No one asked me. Besides you always say not to interfere between the two."

"I know. But from now on tell me... only me"

"Y/n-ie found invitations to Namjoon's company dinner. So she asked him. He said it wasn't a big deal. But he's getting an award and perhaps bonus. He said he didn't tell her cause he knows she hates the events and he didn't want to force her."

"That's it?"

"Nope. Then she said are you embarrassed of me. To which he was like you're my soulmate and then she said that's not an answer to what I'm asking and then it got pretty ugly."

"And how did you hear this?"

"I was using her bathroom cause the others were busy."

Jin can't help but smile at the other boys antics.

Yoongi comes in carrying a parcel.

"Jungkook did you order something?"

Jungkook perks up excited. "Its here. Me and Y/n-ie ordered embroidery kits. I'll go take it to her." Jungkook takes the parcel.

Yoongi pats Jin's back. "It'll be alright we've been through worse."

Jin nods. Its true.

Jungkook decides to take a banana milk and other flavored milks pack and grabs a couple snacks. Seamlessly balancing everything and going towards your room.

You and Jungkook often did things together. The two of you bonded over buying new things and DIY kits often taking help if needed or even just including other pack members. Like the time you needed Joons help with the planting kit and Yoongi's help finding sand paper to complete your DIY wooden ship. The time you tried Resin was fun. You still use the trays you both made with Jimin and Tae. You'd even made a book mark for Joon. You also did self DIY projects like the time you had begged Hobi to give up some of his shoes so you could paint them. Sometimes when you went to the Sunday Market. You'd stop with Joon at the book stall. Once you'd found an old recipe book and then it was you and jungkook and Jimin and failed attempt at some sort of microwave cake which was as hard as a stale cookie though the kitchen did smell great.

Your life now was filled with all these little moments which made it so beautiful. Ofcourse sometimes you do wonder. Was it really necessary to loose your old family for this one and you put the thought away because you cannot be ungrateful you must not be or you might loose this as well.

(Before)

You've worn a mourning black dress. You're exhausted from meeting the lawyer to doing paperwork and emptying your room at the shelter. It was a bit silly but you'd stayed till the very last moment. Hoping against hope and silently praying that your mate would come. But hope was a painful thing and a luxury you couldn't afford. So you cried a little inside your new bathroom or rather your old one at your uncle's place. Which was now your own. Wondering when would it be over.

You're the chief mourner. And you can't help but think it's good your soulmate chose their pack over you because you seem to kill everyone around you.

A lot of people come. Offering their condolences.

He was a good man.

He loved his wife so much.

A great man the likes of whom we don't see.

He will be missed.

Such a loss.

Untimely death.

You supposed the death of a person forgave their sins.

The whispers are everywhere.

You go outside for a while. To get yourself water. The panic is settling in its too much its all too much. You hide behind a tree gulping the cool water and its heaven down your throat. It's almost magical one pill and the world is more bearable.

"I heard his niece put false charges on him. Poor man." A lady discusses

"Not only that she's going to inherit his assets." Her friends adds.

"They said her pack died in a car accident and she was the only one who survived."

"Not only that they said she doesn't have a scent."

"What a freak."

"It gives me the shivers."

Someone covered your ears. You could smell it the sweet familiar scent.

You turned. Face to face with yoongi.

"It's fine." You said gruffly removing his hands from your ears harsher then you intended to.

Your alpha awakening had given you more strength. Strength that scared you. Strength that made you even harder to kill.

The words were already branded in your brain.

"Are you ok?" He asked softly.

"Why are you here?" You asked instead. He smelled like your old bestfriend but he wasn't. It would be better to remember that. He too had a pack. Just like your soulmate. Just like everyone else except you.

"We need to talk."

"About what?... wait don't tell me... you're not my soulmate are you?" You stagger backwards clenching your fist. You want to hold him someone anyone.

"No I'm not but.."

Ofcourse he's not it can't be that simple ofcourse.

"Then there's no reason. Excuse me I have to wrap this up. People will be wondering why the chief mourner is missing."

Before you could leave Yoongi stopped you giving you his card.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll come see you later."

You don't say anything. So he leaves.

You wonder if you can have two pills quickly. You wonder if you can mention those ladies in a suicide note. Won't that be funny though you won't be there to see it.

You stare at the casket as it lowered down. You envy your uncle. Wishing you could trade places.

Would anyone cry if I disappear?

It's fine I wouldn't even know the difference once I'm dead afterall..

Everyone leaves. Some people even try to comfort you. You put on an understanding face as you tell them words they want to hear.

And thats that. You go to a convenience store nearby. Sit eating instant noodles. The noodles taste bland so you play with them more than you eat them.

What next?

The world is right infront of you. What are you even supposed to live for. The person you might have wanted revenge on is dead. You can't kill yourself after surviving your family. You have money and a house. You could go to college but studying you don't think you can do that anymore. You used to have dreams. But they seem a childish fantasy and nothing more. Even your soulmate doesn't want you. You don't blame them you wouldn't want a person like yourself. A joke of an alpha.

A can hits the noodles. And the scalding hot broth falls down your hand and lap. They seemed to have been trying to throw the can in the Dustbin right infront of where you sat. And with your terrible luck it ruined your dinner.

You instinctively stand up. Someone takes your hands pouring cold water over them.

"Are you okay?"

You look up to see the most charming face. Kind eyes, strong hands, taller than you and the scent that makes you want to dissolve in it.

"No.." Your voice is foreign to you as you reply. Tears dripping out of your eyes.

He hugs you wrapping his arms around you.

"I'm sorry I won't ever leave you alone again I promise."

Yeah so that's that. I've been away for a while. I haven't written anything but I wanted to post something.. so I did this.. If you've read belong. I'm not in the mindset to write belong currently it's way too happy for me and I can't do it justice right now.

Please let me know your thoughts!!

Taglist : @kaceypdf ; @ghostlyworld ; @thelilbutifulthings ; @hijabae2019

Permanent taglist : @exfolitae ; @cryingpages ; @outrobtsnd

#bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts au #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #bts ot7 x reader #bts angst #kim namjoon #omegaverse au #omegaverse

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the-king-andthe-lionheart · 1 year ago

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In the online ASOIAF fandom Arya is considered by most to be "ugly" (even though there is vast evidence in the books stating the contrary and that Arya looks like Lyanna, a Northern Beauty). By the majority of the fandom Arya is also wrongly considered to be "feral", "a savage", "or beastly". According to the majority of the online fandom Arya "goes around biting people", and there are very popular theories about Arya becoming subservient to Sansa, or that she will die, her spirit will go into HER direwolf Nymeria, and Nymeria/Arya will become Sansa's pet. By the majority of the fandom, the Stark looking Starks (Arya, Jon, and Ned) are considered to be less attractive than the Tully looking Starks, either described as "plain" (Ned and Jon) or "ugly" (Arya). So why are you all surprised when you get called out for drawing the Stark looking Starks as darker skinned or Indigenous? Like headcanon what you like, but at least be fucking consistent and draw all of the Starks as dark skinned, and not just the ones considered to be "uglier" and "less civilized". It's racist. Yeah, I'm going to call it what it is, IT'S RACIST. I'm an Indigenous woman and I'm telling you that white people doing this is disgusting and racist. Especially considering the First Men (ie. the Starks) are not Native to Westeros or the North. They are colonizers who genocided the actual natives of Westeros, the Children of the Forest. So you are depicting actual genocidal colonialists with people in the real world who were actually genocided? That's fucked up. So don't be surprised when you're called out on it, especially by BIPOC fans.

Edit: Oh yes, let's also not forget that by the majority of the fandom, the Stark looking Starks are considered to be "stupid" or "dumb" or of being less intelligent and politically savvy than the Tully looking Starks.

#arya stark #jon snow #eddard stark #ned stark #house stark #asoiaf

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i-literally-cant-with-this · 8 months ago

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I wrote this probably over 2 months ago and haven't done shit with it since. I thought it was cute but never elaborated on it.

So it is what it is. But it's about Nanami. ANYTHING to bring this man back lol.

SFW from what I can recall. Enjoy <3

Hear ... Me ... Out.

Nanami is at his favorite coffee shop one day and he sees this girl (woman, ok? don't get into semantics over it) and she is just a hot fucking mess.

Her hair is in the world's messiest bun on top of her head. It doesn't look like it's been brushed for a few days. Her clothes are like, less than casual. He doesn't want to use the word "sloppy", but damn. She look so sloppy rn that he has this overwhelming need to go straighten her up.

She's not ugly, not beautiful ... natural, though. But there's something about her that he is drawn to. She's kinda chubby. Which adds to her unique appearance(?), but with the right fitting clothes, she would be so cute, he thinks.

There's not a speck of make up on here face. And Nanami can't help but find that somewhat refreshing. There are stains on her sweatshirt from the coffee she is drinking. Crumbs on the table from her bagel with cream cheese.

GOD he wants to give her a napkin but doesn't want to offend her. What is the etiquette here, he wonders. Could he spin it so he comes off as polite? Caring, even?

He watches her for a while longer. Studies her face as she reads up on whatever textbook she's studying from. He can't get a good look at it, but it's a thick book.

Speaking of thick, he looks down to her thighs. They're thick, too.

His tired mind begins to wander uncontrollably to what she would feel like, what she would taste like. Then Nanamin catches himself staring too long. Spit pools in his mouth and he swallows hard. He looks away, hopefully before you catch him eating you up & out with his eyes.

But it's too late. You felt someone's gaze on you. And not just someone's. Fucking Kento Nanami's breathtaking brown eyes.

So now you're taking him in. And he is the most put together person you have ever seen. His blue button-up shirt is so well pressed that there isn't a single crease in it, even as he sits there in the cafe, it hugs his large arms looking like it was about to give at even the slightest miscalculated move. His tie hangs perfectly around his muscly neck. The light colored pants he wears - Oh God. They look like they're painted on. And they leave very little to the imagination.

He's got a tiny cup in front of him, his regular drink, espresso. But you don't know that's his regular drink. Because you have never seen him before. You don't even come to this cafe regularly. The one you like, the one closest to where you live, is having some renovations done. It has ruined more than one morning for you this week. Seeing the tall, ridiculously handsome man sitting across the seating area is starting to fix some of today's damages, though.

You tilt your head to the left and size him up, just like he was doing to you. But you're not even trying to be discreet. You decided that morning that you had nothing to lose by doing the societally deemed shameful things.

ie: oogling an attractive man, while you're looking like you're coming down from a 23 hour gambling bender with Toji (Nanamin doesn't know you know Toji and vice versa). Not that he'd permit you to keep associating yourself with him if anything were to become of the two of you.

No, he'd put a stop to that years ago. No proper lady of his would be fraternizing with garbage like Toji Fushiguro. No, no, no.

He's already decided he wants to talk to you. And while he has absolutely no reason to be shy about speaking with you, he can't bring his legs to move. That could be in large part to the considerable amount of blood that has pooled in the center of his body. He'll give it a minute and compose himself before he walks your way.

Nanami glances back at his newspaper and continues to read the daily stock updates. He sees movement in his periphery but thinks nothing of it because, after all, this is a busy cafe. It is a Wednesday. More people than you will move around.

It is you, though. You pack up your stuff, purposely leaving behind your cellphone beside your empty coffee cup, and walk toward him, holding eye contact for the entire time you're heading toward the exit.

He gets excited for some reason he can't yet understand and his pulse gets faster and faster the closer you get to his table for 1. Without thinking, he straightens up the scattered papers on the small table surface like he was expecting company. Your company.

But you turn at the very last second and push open the door to the sidewalk. The disappointment Nanamin feels crushes him like nothing he's quite experienced before. You are no one to him. He, in turn, knows that he's no one to you as well. Yet the dejected feelings remain in the forefront of his thoughts.

His eyes squint against the bright reflection of something silver on the table you were sitting at. You'd strategically forgotten and placed your phone to pick up the sun's light emerging from behind the clouds to get his attention.

It worked. He made his way across the cafe to the shiny object left behind. Picking it up, he tapped on the screen. To his great pleasure, there was no lock on the main screen. He had access to your photos. Your contacts. Your notes. Everything. He could look at everything.

Being the gentleman he is, Nanami thought it best to not look through it, though. He thought about giving it to the barista and letting them handle returning it to you. But there's no fun in that. He would track you down and give it back himself.

On the car ride to the "Return To" address in the phone, he felt his stomach turning. There was no reason for him to be nervous about this task, considering what his career is. He dealt with much worse shit than delivering a phone to a woman to whom he was attracted but couldn't figure out why. This was child's play. There was no curbing his excitement though.

Arriving outside your apartment building, he was surprised at how nice the place was. If he had to guess by just looking at you, he'd not have guessed a place such as this.

The doorman let Nanami pass with no problems. Looking as respectable as he does often grants him permissions that other people can't even entertain the idea of.

He pushed the button to call the elevator down and waited for it to carry him to the 14th floor.

Walking down the hallway until he found your place, he smoothed his tie down and knocked 3 times. He heard your footsteps coming as you padded your way closer to your door. And then he saw your shadow moving underneath, on the opposite side that he stood.

"Hello?" He said, his voice rumbly and deep. "You left your phone at the cafe we were both just at. I - thought I'd return it to you."

Nanami watched your shadow stretch out a little more and heard your fingers tap on the door as you looked through the peephole.

@darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa @katkusuo (tagging you on the off chance you give a shit =))

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #jjk kento nanami #kento nanami #nanamin #nanami kento #jjk fluff #nanami fluff #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #kento x reader #kento x you #kento x y/n #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami x you #nanami kento fluff #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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entomolog-t · 10 months ago

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For today gtWAC prompt:

I’d love to know if you have thoughts on how you write pacing, I absolutely love the pace of your stories, especially emotional scenes and internal dilemmas/thoughts of characters

Thank you!! This made my day! I love playing around with pacing so prepare for a ridiculously in-depth answer.

My first step is to make a crusty outline. I get- outlines suck. But if we want to figure out pacing, its a really good idea to have a start and end point. It also helps me to process the emotions as close to real-time as possible.

Its fast and ugly.

Once I get the whole seen bullet pointed I go back through it and actually get to work out pacing it. Given that I have an outline to go off of, I have a better idea where to build tension and where to make things more harsh and high paced (Short sentences, quick emotional descriptions).

In high stress/high paced writing I usually don't allow my characters to have a good deal of control over their conscious thoughts (ie- repression of emotions they would not want to think is a lot harder and more abrasive). When you're dealing with a high stress/high pace situation you're conscious can't filter information the same way, so its a good spot to sneak in sharp bits of honesty, that gets interjected with flashes of conscious/logical thought.

I think its really important to actively try to feel the emotions and understand how they impact thought- ie if its a high fear, fast paced scenario I'm not going to be contemplating things eloquently- and even when its more conscious thought, it feels disjointed, or counter instinctual. A lot of emotions have a semi logical flow that can differ based on your character, so understanding if Character A gets startled- it starts out as a sudden shock, turns to confusion, then fear, then anger maybe.

I love to slip in this sort of intrusive thought aspect when characters are dealing with dilemmas (We see this a lot in Bite Me, with Aedes). Where he will think one thing and correct the thought, or have an intrusive voice add to the thought.

With emotions, especially internally, it can be really hard to show not tell, and I think controlling the way one reads the sentences can be a particularly effective way to really showcase the emotion. Like restarting a sentence but changing a singular word to show emphasis.

The biggest take away I think id when writing, we don't need to be accurate in describing the reality thats happening, but instead the reality that the character is experiencing. You don't need to tell me getting bit hurts- everyone knows that- I want to know what it does to the character.

#I really hope this helps.#I was debating about writing a whole short to walk though the process a little more indepth #I hope this is good #but if not I can always add some more or elaborate!!#gtWAC

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jinxpologist · 10 months ago

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You are NOT sensitive. Obviously most people in Florida would agree with you, but more importantly the only reason ppl hate Florida is the racist old people and if Florida drowns where do they think they’re gonna go? 🤨

Florida has a important beautiful diverse ecosystem and provides so much for the country.

Maybe this part is ME being too sensitive but just joking about the water rising from climate change/glaciers melting is just never smth i found funny

sorry to get to this so late anon i've been busy </3

and yeah, for clarity i am people from florida. i've lived here my whole life. and people saying they hate florida because we're all crazy (ie florida man), or the wildlife is scary, or it's too hot, or the bugs... i don't care lmao and sometimes it's even funny, cause no one actually hates florida for those reasons.

a lot of people hate florida because we have a supremely shitty government and assume that like... everyone thinks this way. but not everyone thinks this way. there's a huge community of progressive people in florida.

and sidenote, it's kind of strange to see a bunch of people talking about how you should NEVER visit florida as a trans person because. like, your concerns are 100% valid, and if you feel like you're in danger, do whatever you have to to keep yourself safe. but also we still live here LOL like i can be semi-open about being nb with 0 issues and i know a lot of trans people who are medically transitioning. i brought hrt up with an endo who doesn't specialize in that and she didn't bat an eye, she even recommended me a place that could get me hormones.

i promise we're still here and thriving!! we have some of the biggest pride centers in the country!! i attend a HUGE pride event yearly where everyone is happy and loud and openly queer. i'm lucky to live in a beautiful and vibrant city like this and many of us don't fare as well, but we ARE here.

and you're not too sensitive, bc that's what i worry about all the time when it comes to ocean levels rising. i'm worried about the beautiful ecosystem i've grown up in being drowned by the salty ocean. our ecosystem is one of the most diverse and beautiful in the entire country and people have the audacity to say this state is ugly and provides nothing lmfao.

idk it's just a lot like it's not like it's as if floridians are oppressed but sometimes there's just this disconnect between people who live here and people who don't. it's mostly fine i'm just bitter that some people will stereotype a whole state and ignore the vibrant communities and beautiful ecosystem and go "i'm not worried because it's florida".

#ask #Anonymous

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atomicwinnerdreamland · 11 months ago

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Do you have any silly hc’s and ansgty hc’s for NY?

**it’s fine if not lol**

Hii! Ooo thank you for the ask, and I may have a few of both kinds of hc's for him :D

New York's silly hc's:

-He has tried ice cream and soy sauce together because he read about it in a book and surprisingly, he doesn't hate the combination. (the book is King of Wrath by Ana Huang, which is set in New York)

-I like to think that he tries on the shoes of the bigger states in the statehouse because he finds fun in doing so. New York was wearing Texas's huge dress shoes and tripped on them, and Alaska so happened to be nearby and helped him up, which got Alaska to be the one to first notice this habit of his.

-He and Louisiana read picture books together on nights when they can't go to sleep. Sometimes they're picture books that New York himself wrote, other times they're picture books that New York finds in his local bookstore that he thinks Loui would like.

-Whenever he's angry at a certain state, he paints a portrait of them that portrays them in the ugliest way possible. It could be a painting of the state's face with the ugliest color combos and/or purposefully messed up proportions or he may paint a part of the state that the state considere to be ugly or unattractive (ie. if here were mad at Texas, he'd paint Austin bc TX thinks that Austin is ugly, California w/ Bakersfield, Michigan w/ the border shared between him and Ohio, etc)

-He sometimes likes to wear his coats on his head like a wig and walks around the statehouse as he's doing so. And he likes to style it too: sometimes the coat looks like a whole ass muffin on his head (think of how people with long hair wrap a towel around their hair after a shower). Everyone else thinks he looks insane, but he's happy doing it for some reason.

-He hides candy in his beanie and nobody knows.

New York's angsty hc's:

-He has a terrible relationship with sleep. He can't sleep because of flashbacks of his past, he can't sleep because of his workload, and sometimes he doesn't sleep on purpose just to punish himself.

-He likes to lock himself in his room when the statehouse gets too loud. It reminds him of his past again (with all the wars and stuff) and he prefers not to interact with anyone at all for a few days to deal with it.

-[TW: self-harm] Whenever he does something that doesn't reach his own standards, he hurts himself in many ways. He indulges in his never ending workload, he stays up all night, he doesn't eat, and he can't talk to anyone without screaming at them (which hurts NY bc he doesn't like hurting his loved ones).

-He likes to cook for others but rarely finds the will to cook for himself sometimes, much less eat. It's the same way with comforting others: he always is the first to try and uplift somebody yet he can never uplift himself when he needs to.

-He likes to disappear whenever he gets too overwhelmed. The fellas in the Northeast always try and look for him whenever he does so, but New York always finds a spot where he knows he can't be found (usually in Wyoming and Iowa since they're usually forgotten, and both states seem peaceful to me), so they just wait for him to return home hoping he's okay. There was an occasion where he came back with cuts and bruises all over his body to the point he was hospitalized, and though the northeast states thought it was bc of a fight, it turned out to be self-inflicted injuries. The northeast now keep an eye out for any sign that NY's stressed out/overwhelmed so they can go talk to him before he decides to disappear again.

-[TW: suicidal thoughts] He likes to think about not being immortal & what life would be like if only he were to be able to die like normal humans. Sometimes he doesn't have the will to live and finds it so hard to accept that he can't just die. This fic by @xechoecho88x is a great story that ties along with this specific headcanon if you're interested in reading something like this :D

-He has a severely damaged wall designed for when he needs to let out some anger. To go along the lines of this, he likes fire and burns random things to keep himself at ease. The only thing that he regrets burning is an old necklace given to him by a friendly old lady he met & befriended in upstate. Her death took a toll on him and he burned the only thing that reminded him of her so he wouldn't mourn as much, but all he feels now is regret.

That's all I have, I hope you like it :D Thank you sm again for your ask, I appreciate it so much <3

#wttt #welcome to the table #wttsh #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt new york

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