#idk. im weird. i feel weird. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

naes-dairy · 7 months ago

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Hey.

#i feel like im so desperate for attention its kinda disgusting #but at the same time like. no??????? 💀#i literally dont do anything isnt it a basic human need to want attention (or something like that i guess 😒)#but no i guess i hate myself soooo much i cant even want to speak to ppl #idk. im weird. i feel weird.#im literally such a loner and kts evident with my interactions. i probably look like a clown. I'll never do this right i swear #i cant even be called a friend. i dont even talk to my irl friends! im just so boring. theres nothing interesting about me.#im a 'nice' person thats it. i dont really like anything #i dont hate anything too badly. im a people pleaser. im disgusting. tbats ot #thats literally it.#i really should've just stopped trying ages ago. but im not good at that #im sorry for not giving up.#honestly im so selfish thinking things like these. my thoughts are so swlf centered. sigh. i wish i could think about things other than.#yknow. my feelings?#oh boy time to hate myself again #oh. i need to stop this. I'm gonna cringe over this in the not so fistant future. im so embarrassing.#expresso the depresso

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ruushes · 16 days ago

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companions re-classed part 3 - shadowheart 🌌🌚🌝

*shadowdancer isn't a 5e rogue subclass, it's a 3.5e rogue-based prestige class, but it suits her so well and when i played 3.5e as a kid i thought it was the coolest thing ever lol so i wanted to use it

karlach 🔥 wyll ⚔️

#shadowheart #bg3 #my art #*i still think it's the coolest thing ever #ngl tho i hate to speak a word against objectively the best class (rogue) it could use more weird spooky subclasses #rly the only cool supernatural one rn is phantom which i do like a whole lot but it didn't feel like a good fit for her #glad to get this done before succumbing fully to DA brain but idk what the fate of the final three will be lol #next up is lae’zel so im hoping the Do It For Her will motivate me

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welcometogrouchland · 8 months ago

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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post

#dc comics #dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #batfamily #dc robin #nightwing #anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther #like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it #they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc #but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself #anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did #it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios #also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul #you will always be famous to me #son of the demon origin...bwahhh #anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic #but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up #so go look at that as well #anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy #i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself #it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on #I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue #i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups #so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat #mine

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bookalicent · 2 months ago

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yeah so this was insane

#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov #and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm #everyone’s like wtf except for percy #and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid #and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like #‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all #which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt #and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt #and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it #so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way #that’s gotta mean a lot to percy #also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability #allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about #feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame #and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL #and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him #like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it #also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer #jason grace #percy jackson #pjo #ashla.txt

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teh-inggris · 16 days ago

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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head

#senart #pvp civilization #pvp civ #I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST #if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like #he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him #ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi #or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords #and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to #that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane #Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation #wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm #anyways.#empty chattering

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wretchie · 11 months ago

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im doing this again bc im obsessed with the human experience. also no one can stop me

#hyperspecific poll #again. lol #idk how weird most of these are?? im not sure of the weirdness threshold for a good hyperspecific poll if yk what i mean #also feel free to ask me abt any of this i love attention <3

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gatoburr0 · 5 months ago

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Been thinking about it

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pandebunuelo · 1 month ago

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but if he knows that you know that you know that he knows that he knows that you know that you

#pinescone #over the garden wall #gravity falls #otgw #my art #so this idea is stuck in my head #mabel is stuck in the unknown (maybe she almost died and is in a coma idk) and dipper makes a deal with bill to reach her and help her out #/this will have consequences/#and so he is wandering around when he bumps into beast!wirt #and somehow neither the beast nor bill recognize e/o they just know this other kid kinda weird #kinda sus kinda We-Need-To-Kill-Him-Piney/GET-HIM-OUT-WIRT #anyways since im making both the beast and bill are backseating dipper sees a chance to find mabel #meanwhile wirt is numb enough to just #idc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just dont get in my way #but dipper´s story kinda resonates with him so he tries to help him out #and they have shenaningans idk i just think itd be hilarious for both of them to be constantly on their heads fighthing their own demons #literally #without knowing they’re both posessed lmao #also idk they crush on each other and get a whole mutual pining arc bc bill and the beast dealing with teenage feelings is just funny to me

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xxplastic-cubexx · 15 days ago

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your movie charles art gives me cuteness aggression

obsessed with getting these asks back to back and yet they both hold some truth i think ...... thank you very much everyone ....

#semi-nsft ?? ig ??#xmen #xmen movies #xmen dofp #xmen first class #charles xavier #professor x #snap sketches #fr thank you - both of you :] !!!!! i do my best to make any and all iterations of charles xavier look lovable #not hard. for me anyway. i have this condition called Perpetual Heart Eyes and it worsens when i see/think of a chara i like #tho im mildly appalled by how much love my movie charles doodles get considering i only really draw him. when you guys mention him vjLAEAEJ #'appalled' is a weird word. Pleasantly Surprised is better i think #BUT AGAIN I DONT MEAN TO thats just how it happens. ig thats also why im happy to hear it. or read it LOL #LIKE I /HAVE/ DRAWN HIM ON MY OWN OF /COURSE/ just. def doesnt feel like that much ... hm ...#tho tbh maybe i do draw mostly in response to asks .... im not getting the hard data on that we're moving on it aint that serious #ANYWAYS. more movie charles to come. hopefully. idk if SOON but hopefully i still have some stuff i wanna draw with him #on that note @ second anon topping him wouldnt fix him or make things better really but itd be fun to watch probably

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frostedpuffs · 5 months ago

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does anyone else ever feel like they never Fit In fandom spaces like. sure i create stuff SOMETIMES but i feel like such an outsider in the fandom and idk why asdkfsakdf

#this might be because i dont really create stuff much #i just kind of hop in eveyr now and then and post #mayb if i actually wrote more fics and drew more art i'd feel more...involved...idk #LOL idk #i want to have more friends in the ml fandom but i am just. so so bad at talking to people #and i am not in any discord servers besides the one i made myself #mostly bc i dont know where to find them #also bc im afraid ppl just think I'm weird or annoying or off-putting sjfsjdfs #it's the tism #text post

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

#hobbies #writeblr #what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog #although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person #i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally #writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like #it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing.#which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like #i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me #bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely.#it HAS to be a job. it must #also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself #to make it RIGHT #and im like ... idk i only have an hour #so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing

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theygotlost · 3 months ago

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G-A-R-Y! YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI! YOURE GARY! WHAT! WHAT! YOURE GARY!

#mine #venture bros #henchman 21 #gary fischer #uhhhhhh do i need to tag this 😬#nsft #<- i guess #im trying something new and weird with colors again. idk how i feel about it lmk what you think

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show-tunes · 14 days ago

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Genuine question what version of this guy do you think is more of a hear me out

#i feel like the easy answer would be turbo since they made him yucky on purpose #but at the same time i know lots of people who love yucky characters #on the other hand from my totally unbiased point of view i would think cybug king candy is objectively the hottest out of all of them #but ive also been told im a freak for thinking he’s hot at all #and then normal king candy is in a weird spot #because his appreance isnt monsterous or ‘ugly’ in any way #but i think hes too silly to be considered hot by most people #his silliness is endearing to me though idk #sorry to those who followed me for literally anything else #king candy #turbo #king candybug #king cybug #wreck it ralph #wir

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hinamie · 6 months ago

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atla!au designs part 3 !! one of these things is uh. not like the others

first year trio gojo/choso/nanami

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk atla!au #geto suguru #yuta okkotsu #mahito #lmhs #atla!au: design #squints at mahito i think i might b trying a bit too hard fr preliminary designs.......#they keep getting progressively more detailed OOPS #atla!au: art #i feel like no one will complain tho so ! anywayyyyy #thank u hisuian zoroark fr ur weird hair n bad posture. stole that 2 put on this freak n gave him some soul orb hair ties #idk if his design adheres very faithfully to anything that can be considered atla canon....but i like it so much ok sue me #i would unironically like mahito more if he looked like this #let him lean more Monster.......pl..pls.......#dont dig too deep into that statement . anyway.#this whole page is full of chars i just Never draw but i dont have a least favourite here ???? all of them look rly good imo??#waterbender garb suits geto's design so well he gave me No trouble #yuuta on th other hand i was Concerned for on account of th aforementioned Orange on a very monochrome char in jjk canon #but i think i made it work? he looks great in th tattoos also??????#maybe th rumors r true and im good at what i do GHFGHGHL #(oh ya after mahito i didnt want to draw Another monster-spirit so i omitted rika but she exists. probably looks similar 2 canon also!)#(sighs ill deal w her later. priorities !!!!)

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t4t4t · 4 months ago

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Two disabled trans women need 622 for rent. No donations since the 8th. My SRS date is 7/25/24 (11 days from now). I will be in recovery in some sense for at least 2 months. Anything helps.

https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose

https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore

https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose

#i think the other post was too long but theres probably many reasons we're not getting the most donations rn #which is a weird feeling.#idk. im gonna fly a sign at the pride event this weekend ig

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nato-obenkrieger · 2 months ago

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he’s quite silly to me

#nates drawings #autistic michael canon trust!!!!!!#guys is my art regressing i feel like this looks ass 😭😭#i think it’s time to lock in and get better tee bee aych #but anyway i likr michael a lot #the girl commenting is chloe if you couldn’t tell #to me chloe is the type of person to be like ‘we’re best friends right!!’ to the weird kid in class #is this a controversial take im not a big chloe fan #she seems like the type of person to infantilize autistic people 😓😓#anyway im yapping so bad #idk why this drawing looks so odd i haven’t drawn michael in a little while #would you guys still like me if i told you i haven’t been drawing bmc because ive been kinda obsessed with henry danger yaoi #my deepest darkest confession #michael mell #be more chill #be more chill musical #bmc #bmc musical

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