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kimberly-spirits13 · 5 years ago

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Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 5

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4812

Masterlist for Series

You woke without an alarm with the 4am birds. It was a sound that you weren’t used to. Typically, you’d head down to one of the indoor training rooms and join Damian. It wasn’t unusual for one of you to be a few moments late but after that you’d get breakfast. This time though, you didn’t want to see Damian. You went instead out to the gardens. Instead of really working out or training, you decided that the best thing to do was just sit and meditate.

Walking down the hallway some the opposite way of where you were going, you saw that Damian’s door was open. Wanting, to avoid him, you went out one of the side doors. He would be in the cave training for the most of what you could tell. You walked outside greeted by the morning air. It was cool outside and the birds had stopped chirping for the most part. You walked towards the sounds of the fountains along the cobblestone path. The trees and shrubs were cut perfectly in different shapes and animals in some areas. You smiled walking through it all, the moon being the only light.

Once at the fountain, you sat down. There wasn’t really anything you were focusing on. Everything just swirled around in your mind. With no indication or signs on what was going to happen, the only thing you felt like you could do was keep on the tightrope that you had been thrown onto. The start of it all was a blurry and foggy mess. The end however, was even worse. You had no idea where this new life was going to take you or Damian. It was easier when you had an idea. That didn’t make it better.

You were consumed in your thoughts for the longest time before getting up and walking around more. This was the longest you’d been alone to wander freely like this since God knows when. It was nice but was eventually interrupted. You turned upon sensing that someone was there. Carefully, you reached for your dagger but didn’t pull it out yet.

“Miss Y/N, breakfast has been prepared. Miss. Gordon will be here soon to take you to the shopping mall.” Alfred said, “I hope you are not about to pull a weapon on me. I will warn you, I don’t fancy being attacked.”

“N-no. It’s just...” You slacked a bit.

“Training. I understand.” Alfred gave you a reassuring look, “You seem to be adjusting better than Master Damian even on your first day here.”

“That’s because I wasn’t born in the league. This is just like some distant home to me. I was in the foster care system until Talia got me.” “I also got to go on more missions outside of the compound.” You informed the older man.

“I see.” He sighed, “Well, I hope that you will eventually find some sort of comfort here.”

“Thank you.”

It was strange hearing words of good wishes. Not that you hadn’t heard them before, it was just that it was rare and typically in a secret kind of code for lack of a better term. No one dared give well wishes directly, only in little ways. You and Damian did that the most out of anyone you’d ever met. It was just normal in that sense.

The walk back inside was quiet. Alfred informed you of a few other details that you’d need during your stay. Most had to do with the boys. He said that they would be behaved but that they can get a bit... rowdy. It was just in their nature. You understood and told yourself to expect it. Walking inside you prepared for the worst. What you did get though was a very sleep deprived looking teenage boy, a tall man who was almost zombified, you knew that was Bruce, a very chirpy young adult male with bright blue eyes, and a tall red headed girl rolling her eyes at the younger man.

“Master Dick, Master Tim, Miss. Gordon, this is Miss Y/N. She came with Damian last night and will be staying in the manor now.” Alfred said introducing you.

Tim looked up, “Hi Y/N.” He then proceeded to down his cup of coffee.

“Um, hello.” You replied. It was unusual to see someone like that but you also related to his actions deeply. You thought it was kind of funny anyways.

“Hey, I’m Dick. So, did you get here last night?” He asked smiling and said the last part quietly, “You’ll have to excuse Timmy over there, he’s a bit tired from a case he’s working on. Just wait, he’ll eventually fall asleep somewhere for a day.”

“Yes.” You shrugged, “And I understand where Drake is coming from.”

That made Dick chuckle, “You seem to be less temperamental than Damian.”

Barbra hit him with her elbow some, “Really Dick?” She looked at you, “Sorry about him, he gets excited about new people.”

“I am only the temperamental type when I need to be. Other than that, I find it partially unwise to try and scare everyone with anger. Silence works just as well for me.” You sat down at the table with breakfast.

The meal looked like something out of heaven. It smelled fresh and looked like whoever prepared it had been doing this for a while. You took the first bite, and after that you devoured the entire meal. You then remembered that Barbra was taking you shopping and started worrying about what was going to happen.

“So, Y/N.” She said seeing you drift off into your own thoughts, “I was thinking that it might be best if we go to the smaller shopping center first. That way you might not feel so uncomfortable there. They’ve got some things I think you might like.”

“That sounds suitable.” You answered, “Um, I have seen the more recent fashions from previous missions, however, I’m hoping that there are still stores that carry items of reasonable value instead of ... absurdly over the top garments.” “Avant-garde if you will.”

“Oh yes, you’ll have plenty of options.” She laughed some at the concerned look on your face, “But I agree that some people do wear some very over the top things.”

You nodded in an understanding way noting her tone. In these cases, she probably means that the clothes are normal and what you have seen is just avant-garde clothing worn by the rich to turn heads. While you had walked by the mall countless numbers of times on missions, and even inside, there was nothing that really caught your interest. Besides, missions were never for shopping you had the job of staying on task at all times.

“Oh, and I invited Steph but she had previous arrangements so it will just be the two of us today.” Barbra said.

“Very well.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra made your way inside of the mall. It was deemed best if she was the one to drive everywhere since Alfred and the limo would draw unwanted attention. Bruce did still have to figure out how he was going to break yours and Damian’s arrival to the press. He’d probably just pull another adoption stunt in your mind. It wasn’t rare and at this point, the media just accepted that he has an obsession with it.

The two of you made it through the parking lot and into the building, you on high alert the entire time. “You’re tense.” Barbra commented, “I can practically feel the tension coming off of you.”

“Unfamiliar settings may lead to all too familiar circumstances and fallouts. I find it most wise to keep on guard in a place like this. It’s open to any assortments of attacks. With the right variables, a disaster could strike at any given moment.” You replied back looking around overwhelmed at the options of stores not noticing Barbra giving an understanding yet concerned look, “I uh- where do we start?”

“I have some suggestions. Although, I think the first store that we should try is something with a bit of variety so that you might be able to find something that you like.” She said.

“I think I might have something in mind. Maybe something a bit dark, classical, refined, but also something that might be able to be turned down to a more casual piece.” You listed some features you were interested in with an almost inquisitive look only to meet Barbra’s eyes which portrayed an almost warm and kind look.

“I think I know just the place.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra walked around the shopping mall sipping on coffee from the Starbucks and eating some of the pastries.

“These are not too bad.” You commented speaking about the treats, “I must admit, I have never had anything quite like this before.” “It tastes...”

“Commercial?” Barbra asked laughing some making you shrug in agreement, “There are better places we might go some time. I just figured this would be suitable for the time being.”

“Well the decision wasn’t ill placed.”

“Oh, we should try this store up here. Steph and I are always finding some good items here.” She commented leading you into another store.

At this point you had almost lost track of everywhere you’d been. It was like navigating a more organized jungle. This time however, the animals were people and there was no North Star nor moss to guide your way.

“You were talking about more classic. This place has some clothes I think you might really like.”

Walking in, there were rows of all sorts of clothes including fitted and paper bag pants, pencil skirts, turtle necks in some places, tweed jackets, blazers, sweatshirts, hoodies, and almost anything you could have desired. You gawked at the sight and started wandering off on your own to explore the vast new area you had found. Slowly, you took what you thought looked best and gained an eventual plethora of clothing articles before heading off into the dressing room with Barbra in close pursuit.

“What do you think about this?” You asked stepping out in an outfit you had put together from the clothes you’d picked.

“I like it. I like it a lot. I do think though, that we might be able to add some jewelry to spice it up a bit.” She replied, “Change back and then we can go jewelry hunting.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Once outside of the dressing room, you and Barbra checked out and went into the jewelry store that was down the hall and across the walk way on the second floor which you were already on. You headed inside and were immediately drawn to some plated jewelry. It was simple and elegant, just what you were looking for.

“These look nice.” You gestured to some, your own ring on your finger flashing some in the light. It was an ever so slightly worn gold ring that you wore on your right ring finger. On it had intricate braided designs and a symbol that represented an eternal bond or promise.

“I didn’t notice you had a ring already, it’s very beautiful. You were allowed to keep it?” Barbra questioned pointing it out.

“Thank you. But no, actually, I’ve had this ring, and smaller versions of this ring as I grew up. They were given to Damian and I when we were young. It is a symbol of promise. I’m his right hand, I go where he goes, and stay where he stays. Think of it as a contract of sorts, or maybe even a wedding ring. It’s just a daily reminder of my place.” You explained.

“Interesting. Was there anything you did keep or was this is?” She asked.

“I um.” You fiddled with something around your neck, “A necklace from my parents. It’s a moon and stars, the only thing I have from before the league really. The piece was the only thing I could keep.”

She didn’t ask any more questions, instead opting for the task of browsing for jewelry. You picked out a few pieces, some with jewels and others just plated and empty. Barbra picked up a black watch to throw into the mix saying that it goes well with everything. You didn’t really doubt her. There was no reason to thus far. Once you left the store though, the two of you started to notice shopping’s effects and how the pastries and coffee had worn off.

“I’d say we try the restaurant down the block. It’s got some really great options and I think you might really like the burgers there.”

“It sounds like a decent plan.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra walked inside of the place. Inside there were booths and tables along with a bar and waiting area. It was the run of the mill nicer business which thankfully, quickly got you seated. With drinks and even food ordered, there was a silence. It was kind of uncomfortable and awkward, you weren’t the greatest with social skills and starting conversations with new people. Damian wasn’t either which made it so easy to be around him. Well, at least when you weren’t fighting. You sighed thinking about it.

“You’ve got that look on your face.” Barbra noted making you snap out of your thoughts.

“Look?”

“I know that you have just arrived and have much on your mind, however, you have that “boy issue” look plastered all over your face.” “Did something happen between you and Damian?”

You weighed your options. Typically, these things worked themselves out. Damian wouldn’t be able to be rid of you unless he killed you and that would breach one of the highest codes of honor in the league. Typically though, these arguments were stupid or at least simpler like too many missions or being hurt on the field. This time, his grandfather had died as a result.

You huffed some and took a deep breath, “Damian and I were in an argument last night because of my mission. I have been assigned since day one a location and route that would take him to Gotham in case something like what did happen, happened. For years, I’ve trained for this like some prepare for Armageddon. However, Ra’s al Ghul died in the battle. He blames himself mostly but also claims I have some part in it. Although, I think he might have changed that outlook since the fight last night.”

Barbra looked shocked at what you told her, “Ra’s al Ghul is dead?”

“Correct.” You answered grimly, “Heavy arrow fire took him.” “And, you don’t have to give your condolences, I know of what has happened at his hands and how that is viewed.”

She nodded, “So you and Damian have just been avoiding each other all morning hoping that this all blows over?”

“Precisely.” You sighed, “I for one know that this might never be worked out if there isn’t a final confrontation on the matter at hand however, I’m not quite sure how to approach that.”

“Well from what I’ve seen, it might be best to just be straight forward with him. Letting this drag on and on isn’t going to solve anything whatsoever.”

“I would have to agree with you Gordon. You have my appreciation.”

“It’s no problem.” She smiled some.

“I do have one concern and the only reason I’m mentioning it is because I trust my instincts and they tell me you can be trusted.” You said.

“That is?”

“How, how are we supposed to adjust to a different culture, life, policies, and circumstances in a matter of a few weeks. I mean I assume that Bruce will introduce us to the public and then with the blink of an eye, we’ll be out in public being swarmed by the media. I worry about Damian’s more impulsive and temperamental behavior with the newer surroundings and how he will cope. I think it will be difficult for the both of us to start abiding to certain ... rules if you know what I mean.”

Barbra didn’t comment for a few seconds and instead took what you were saying all in.

“I cannot say that I understand your position. I can say though, that I think that you of all people are more than capable of doing this. From what I have seen, you know what is best for the two of you and will stick to those beliefs, you’ve got the mindset of a fighter and strategist. Whether it be training or even turning away from some of it, I think you will find a way to adjust. And I know that it’s hard to trust people at first. That part I understand, however if you need anything, Alfred and I are always there.” She explained carefully almost washing away all of your fears.

“Thank you.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Barbra were back at the manor now. Alfred had taken your new clothes for cleaning and you had your new room decorations and jewelry to put into place. You didn’t get many things seeing as the room already decently matched what you felt most comfortable with, however you were not going to protest against a few touches of your own.

Once upstairs, you closed the door and got your new record player set up. Picking one that looked the most suitable and got to work making things as you pleased. You hadn’t noticed how much the time had passed before there was a knock at your door. You turned the music off and opened it to reveal Alfred with an assortment of clothes on hangers and another stack of freshly pressed and folded clothes.

“I have your new garments ready to be put away.” He informed you.

“Thank you, I can put them away myself.”

“It is no problem Miss. L/N.” He handed you the clothes, “Dinner shall be ready at 6pm sharp.”

“I understand.”

Once he had left, you closed the door only and started putting items away only for another knock to interrupt you once more.

“Yes?” You opened the door again, “Oh... hello demon.”

“General- L/N, I wanted to talk to you about last night.” He said almost sheepishly.

“Very well. You may enter.” You closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear the conversation.

“I must apologize, my actions of last night were impulsive and guided by misjudgment from the events that have taken place prior to now.” Damian sat at your bed as you were still putting away clothes in the closet, “I stepped out of my place questioning your choices because I did not know under the circumstances they were made.” “You did nothing wrong.”

“I accept your apology Damian.” You said making him almost sigh in relief, “I understand where the outburst came from.” “As cheesy as it might sound, I have thought over what happened last night.” You went and sat down at the end of the bed and looked him in the eyes, “The only thing we can really do now is stick together. We have no one else here that knows about where we came from and the worst choice we can make for ourselves in splitting apart. Especially over a recent quarrel or smaller dispute.”

“I agree.”

There was a small passing of silence, “Just promise me that you will try everything you can to make adjusting as easy as it can be on yourself. It will be a challenge, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’re both in the same boat on this one Damian.”

“I promise, just as you have done so many other times before.”

There was a small ringing from the phone you had gotten at the mall.

“That means it is time for dinner.” You got up and turned off the alarm quickly before walking towards the door, “After supper I expect to see you for some sparring?”

“I will be there.”

_______________________________________________________________________

You and Damian were sitting next to each other at the dinner table. It was awkward and quite for some time, no one really wanting to bring any conversation up.

“So how did you feel about Gotham Y/N?” Bruce asked you trying to start some sort of conversation.

“It was fine.” You replied, “it’s comparable to a darker version of Chicago with a hint of New York.” “When did you go to either one of those cities?” Dick asked inhaling his food.

“I went to Chicago on a mission a year ago and New York three years ago.” You replied, “It was only for two nights at maximum.” “The people are strange though.”

Your comment made everyone either smirk or chuckle which lightened the mood a bit. You could tell that Damian was uncomfortable in this newer situation however. He wasn’t one for talking to those if he wasn’t bragging about something. You never commented on it while he was doing it, only glaring some to get your message across to him. He’d typically get to a stopping place but on the rare occasions he wouldn’t, you’d actively end the conversation or bite your tongue to keep from saying anything regretful.

“I took Y/N to that joint near the mall you told me to go to Bruce. It was good.” Barbra commented.

“Agreed.” You responded, “We also picked up a great plethora of items from the shopping center. Thank you for letting me go. It is greatly appreciated.”

“You are most welcome Y/N.” Bruce replied with a look of approval showing on his face, “And Damian, because you have opted not to go out with one of the boys, Alfred has had a selection of items delivered to the manor. They should have arrived already.”

“Yes, they did father.” Damian said quickly, giving you a slight glance.

Damian’s POV:

You seemed to be adjusting well. It was typical of you to take what you understood of your circumstances and adapt so quickly. You were just like that. He’d always admired it but right now, it was strange seeing you as the best adapted like you were. The strange distant feeling of seeing you not in armor or commanding a squad got to Damian. New surroundings like this were uncomfortable and unpredictable. He watched you fake your every move like it was nothing, the way that you carefully examined everything around you intrigued him. Then again, you were doing too well. He knew you were covering something. Old habits, old nightmares along as new ones, new yet familiar styles in the way you dressed, he saw your walls hold higher, most of the ones you “dropped” were mere props in the way you played. You’d always said life was a game or a gamble anyways, you just had to know how to play it.

The conversations at the table were forced. At the Leauge, typically there were either no conversations, or they were over missions and training. Though, it’s not like he really enjoyed any of it to begin with. He reached over just enough so that no one would noticed and lightly tapped your leg.

“most forced conversation I’ve had.” He tapped in a shorter way of speech than typical with Morse code.

“same.” You answered back quickly, “wonder how long we’ll be here.”

“hours.”

“very funny demon.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Your POV:

Damian was right, it did feel like hours. You didn’t really know when it was alright to leave, so you stayed until Bruce left. He was sitting at the head of the table, so he was in control of when you could leave. At least, that was how it was when you were raised in the foster care system. Damian left when you did and you both got suited up for sparring. You two met up outside of your own rooms when you were done, swords, daggers, and armor in all. If someone wasn’t familiar with the situation, they would have thought you were coming from a dress up party or cosplaying in some sense. That would have been insulting to you if you didn’t care about keeping your cover.

“Woah there kiddoes, where are you two heading dressed like that?” Dick asked coming down the hallway.

“Daily sparring.” You answered sharply.

“With all of that?” Steph chose to comment as well.

“Correct.” You continued, “They are merely swords and a few items of weaponry, nothing that should be too out of the ordinary seeing as you have the regular superhumans or even super heroes coming in and out regularly.”

Dick nodded and let you two through after Steph got him to stop pestering you two with questions. You and Damian exchanged looks of distaste in regards to your interaction. Rolling your eyes, you continued, eventually making it to the cave. Once on the mat, you started training. There was no conversation at first. There didn’t need to be. You’d always thought that if there was no room for conversation, there was no need to squeeze it in. If conversation wanted to add more space, it would naturally.

“So, how are you?” You asked, “Adjusting wise.”

Damian looked around some before responding to make sure no one was there, “I am doing as well as I can be. I find that we are being underworked in responsibilities however. It’s boring here.” “You seem to be adjusting well.”

“In standards of not beheading the shrubbery,” You smirked at the glare he gave you, “I’m... just testing the waters at this point.” “It feels strange not having a squad to command, I don’t like it that much but it is what it is.”

You didn’t reveal everything or really anything close to the most. What you were supposed to do anyways? It’s not like you were going to reveal all of your struggles in one training session. You weren’t ready or willing to do that anytime soon. Deep down though, everything felt wrong. Not having your position anymore was just the surface of your issues. The constant urge to pull yourself back into your old habits was overwhelming. At a strange noise, you found yourself reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. When someone tried to talk to you, you immediately put even more walls up trying to figure out what they wanted to really know. You needed action and something to focus on besides keeping up some imagine like you always did. At night or in the moments you were alone, the constant shadow of your former self was there to greet you like a figment of your worst flashbacks. You knew exactly what was wrong, you just didn’t know how to express it because of the quantity in which your problems amounted in. So, for now, you’d keep it to yourself.

“Understandable.” He said pinning you down to the mat.

You went to flip him over and then stopped in mid motion where he didn’t hesitate to take you down before standing up.

“That was far below your own expectations for yourself in combat Y/N.” He said offering a hand up.

You felt your fight or flight mode kick in the moment everything happened thinking back to the arrows falling from the sky. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself of where you were. There were no arrows flying. No screaming from those around you. You looked around to reassure yourself before hearing someone come up silently from behind you.

“Hey love birds.” Dick said loudly walking up behind you.

You felt him go for a pat on the back. Clearly, he was just being stupid for the time being but you could control what you did. Taking the man by the wrist, you used all of your force and some of his own weight against him to slam him over you onto the mat. The rush of adrenaline faded when you saw who it was laying on the mat groaning in pain.

“Holy shit.” He mumbled.

Damian’s jaw dropped to the floor seeing you pull something like that. You snapped out of your temporary trance and immediately extended your hand to help him up.

“M-my apologies. I mistook you for someo-“

He stopped you, “No it’s fine. Should’ve known not to do anything too sudden like that.” Dick looked at you for a second, “You put up a fight Y/N. Although, I wouldn’t expect anything less from a high general.”

You sighed some at the comment, “Thank you. I must be leaving now.”

The two watched you swiftly head up the stairs. You made sure to travel through the manor as quietly and quickly as possible. The last thing you needed was for anyone to try to touch or talk to you. Once you made it to your bedroom, you immediately grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower. A hot shower was the only thing you thought would help. At least, that’s what you were hoping.

Tag List-

@idkmanicantenglish @queengeorgiaaa @lucy-roo @reclusive-chicken-nugget

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foreveradreamlover · 4 years ago

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amores que matan parte 1

so yes, here it is. My first attempt at writing a semi-decent body of work. There will be a number of warnings so make sure to go through them before preceding. Enjoy! (I apologize in advance for the formatting, I use Tumblr on my phone 🥴) @lavenderhoney12 thank you for inspiring me to write this, I wouldn’t have wrote it at all without you 🤩💖

warnings: young naive reader, terrible Spanish and English translations, work has not been proofread, angst, hurt, power dynamics, future throuple between Miguel-Maria-Reader, possible dubious consent because of the power dynamic, possible dark undertones, talk of abortion and infedelity. Idk what else I’m missing but I’m sure I hit all the marks without giving it all away.

Sometimes you wished you hadn’t met Felix and Maria. Your life would have been so much easier if you hadn’t crossed paths with them and fallen for both of them. And as you laid between them in their marital bed, you realized your life was going to get a lot more complicated now. You stared at the ceiling, feeling tears well up in your eyes. The guilt began to eat you up, the regret sank in.

You don’t belong here, you have no place here. There was no room for you in their marriage, no matter how spacious their bed was. A marriage is a commitment between two people, a third was not possible. You managed to hold in your sobs as you realized how royally fucked you were because you didn’t want to wake them up. You already felt terrible enough, you didn’t want them to make you feel even worse by trying to justify it.

But how did you get into this mess?

The events of the night before were hazy but as you wiped your tears it all became clear again.

You began yesterday morning like any other morning in the Felix household. It was your responsibility to wake up Abril and Miguelito, as you were the full time nanny, and get them ready for the day. It was the best job you ever had, honestly. You love those two like your own and they were great kids. After the kids were taken to school, you left a two weeks notice letter on Maria’s desk when you returned back to the house.

The rest of the day was anxiety inducing, you spent the majority of your time trying to steer clear from Maria but also trying to complete the chores like organizing Abril’s closet. Eventually, you couldn’t hide from her anymore when Maria managed to have Abril trick you into meeting outside by the pool.

“Gracias mi amor. (Thank you my love)” María smiled at Abril as the little girl practically dragged you outside, knowing that the plan had worked just as she predicted. “Ahora puedes jugar con tu hermanito. Pero no juegan aquí, necesito hablar con tu niñera. (You van go play with your brother now. But you cannot play here, I need to speak with your nanny)”

Abril nodded and before you could make up another excuse, Maria held up your letter.

“¿Qué chingados es esto? (What the fuck is this?)” Maria was never one to beat around the bush, it almost made you regret dropping the notice on Maria’s desk instead of Felix’s.

Felix at least would have accepted it and not confronted you about it. He knew you were replaceable. Maria on the other hand surprised you. At the most you expected a slight sadness but never anger.

“¿Lo leíste? (You read it?)” you cringed, watching Maria’s eyebrows furrow even deeper.

“¡Cómo no! (Of course!)” she noticed you taking a step back before reeling her anger back in, “Perdón, a la mejor estoy un poco confundida. Pense que estabas feliz aqui, cuidando a mis hijos. Fue hace unas pocas semanas cuando me dijiste que estabas la mas feliz que ha sentido en tu vida. ¿Qué cambió? Y no quiero mentiras, quiero la verdad. (Sorry, maybe I’m a bit confused. I thought you were happy here, taking care of my kids. It was just a few weeks ago when you told me that you were the happiest you have ever felt in your life. What changed? And I don’t want to hear your lies, I want the truth.)”

When she asked you that question, you felt your heart beat so fast that you swore even Maria could hear it. You looked at Maria’s face and you knew in that instant that no matter how hard you tried, you would never be able to lie to her. You cared too much about her to lie. Especially in her face when she’s asking for the truth. Even if the truth may scare her or make her despise you, she would have to respect it. She asked so you had to deliver.

You took a deep breath, feeling your eyes starting to water up and causing Maria to give a concerning look. She was about to walk closer to you when you lightly put you hand up to indicate her that you were fine.

“Yo - yo no sé cómo decir esto. Honestamente, no pensé que te lo diría, cara a cara pronto así. No estoy segura que puedo hacerlo. Es different pensarlo que decirlo. Creo que podría morir aquí antes de poder decirlo...(I—I don’t know how to say this. Honestly, I didn’t think I would say it, face to face this soon. I’m not sure if I can do it. It’s different thinking it than saying it aloud. I think I could die before I could say it)” Your voice wavered, Maria’s face suddenly blurry from the tears shedding from your eyes at an alarming rate.

It was like all the tears you had refused to shed for months had finally decided to come out now.

“Mija... puedes decirlo. No sé qué es lo que tienes dentro pero tienes que dejarlo salir. Puedo ver que está haciendo más daño solo por estar dentro de ti. Suéltalo, te vas a sentir mejor si lo hagas. (Honey, you can say it. I don’t know what it is inside you but you have to let it out. I can see that it’s doing more bad being inside of you. Let it go, you’ll feel better if you do that)”

You didn’t know how but those words gave you the last needed to push to finally say it.

“Maria, me gustas desmiasado. No tenía idea de que querer a alguien así podría doler tanto. Pensé que enamorarme de alguien sería hermoso como una rosa, pero las espinas me pellizcaron... Si hubiera sabido que enamorarme de ti me haría sentir así, me habría ido antes. Me quedé porque pensé que podría superarlo. Pero no puedo, así que es mejor que me vaya. Te ruego que me dejes ir. (María, I like you too much. I had no idea that liking someone would hurt so much. I thought falling in love with someone would be beautiful like a rose but the thorns pinched me. If I knew that loving you would make me feel this way, I would have left sooner. I stayed longer than I should have because I thought I would get over it. But I can’t, so it’s better if I leave. I beg you to let me leave.)” Your words came out slurred, you weren’t even sure if it was audible through the sobs.

You felt incredibly vulnerable, your vision unclear and your mind foggy. You hadn’t a clue where Maria stood or if she was even there. All you felt was your heart breaking each passing second you heard silence. You just poured out your heart of all the thoughts you harbored for months, did she know you were happy because you were in love with her? Your happiness was just a facade, it was the rose colored glasses that made you think this was love. Love couldn’t possibly feel this cruel and hurtful.

You were about to wipe your tears when you felt a pair of hands cup your face. The thumbs carefully wiped away your tears, allowing for some relief from the waterfalls pouring out of your eyes. You relished in their touch, not knowing how good it was just to be in contact with another person. You were truly touch starved and even their simple brush of your tears was enough to heal some of your deep-seated wounds you possessed. You were broken and it took one unattainable love to make you realize.

“Ya, ya. Suelta todo que tienes dentro de ti. Te vas a sentir mejor cuando todo esto se termine. (Now, now. Let go of everything inside you. You’ll feel much better when all of this is done.)” María whispered, pulling you closer to her and stroking your hair. You shuddered and felt like the tears would never be able to stop. Maria didn’t yell at you like expected, she pitied you. You honestly didn’t know what was worse. You got to be in Maria’s arms but for the wrong reasons.

You’re so stupid, you thought to yourself. You can’t compete with Felix, which you still had unrealized feelings for by the way. He’s the breadwinner and father to her children, you’re just a stupid nanny who fell in love with someone she couldn’t have.

Having your face buried in Maria’s shoulder only made you feel more in love with her in a fucked up away. Her compassion towards you made you fall harder. With this embrace, you could smell the expensive floral and sweet perfume and feel her in a way you could have only imagined before this exchange. It would have probably hurt you less if she pushed you off her and refused to see you again. At least then you would know to move on. This unexpected reaction from Maria has left you confused. This hug seemed too friendly for a simple embrace.

“¡Señora! (Mrs!)” fellow employee called out, a phone in her hand. “Habla Señor Felix! (Mr. Felix is calling!)”

And just like that, the things you thought you could only dream of crumbled as Maria took her hand out of your hair and sighed. Maria turned to the elderly woman, giving a weak smile, “Por favor dígale que no puedo atender el teléfono. Estoy un poco preocupada en este momento. (Please tell him I’m not able to come to the phone. I’m busy at the moment.)”

The older woman nodded, heading back inside as Maria pulled you back in for another warm hug. You tried to make words, feeling your lips tremble every time you attempted to say something. Your mouth felt dry and your head throbbed with pain. You weren’t sure if you would have any tears left after this episode, they were coming all at once.

“Creo que deberíamos entrar a la casa. Tu cara se siente caliente. (I think we should head inside. Your face feels hot.)” María pulled back to examine your face, a worried expression on her own face when she put the back of her hand on your forehead.

You nodded weakly, suddenly remembering you two were talking outside the whole time. You really hoped nobody heard walking by. The future was uncertain now. Maria neither accepted or rejected your two weeks notice and now that she knows that you loved her, the chances of her being comfortable around you were probably slim to none. You couldn’t blame her if she was uncomfortable with this situation, she was married and you worked for her. You also didn’t know if she even liked women.

You didn’t think you did either until you saw Maria for the first time.

Maria wrapped an arm around your shoulder as she lead the way into the house and to your bedroom. Your eyes kept steady to the ground, averting any possible eye contact with anyone who happened to be nearby. The whole walk to your bedroom was so eerie and tense that you wished nothing more than to disappear.

Maria helped you onto your bed and you accepted the comfort of the bed instantly because you had a feeling that the bed was going to be your only companion from now onwards. At least you got to hug her twice, you thought bitterly. To avoid any more conversation, you turned away from Maria and to the wall, hoping she would walk out and leave you be. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself but more so her anymore. You said enough and for that, you felt that you deserved to be excommunicated.

Instead, you felt her sit at the front of the bed.

“Siempre supe que me amabas. (I always knew you loved me)” She sighed loudly, hearing the instant relief washing over her. The fact shocked you, how did she know? When did she find out? Was it that obvious? The questions came faster than the possible answers and it was as if she knew what you thought because immediately after the short silence she said, “No me interrumpas. Has hablado bastante. Ahora es mi turno. (Don’t interrupt me. You’ve talked a lot already. It’s my turn now.)”

You kept quiet, looking at the wall to try to stop the thinking.

“Sé que te estás preguntando cómo lo supe. Creo que lo supe cuando me dijiste que eras feliz hace unas semanas. Sé cuando a alguien le gusta otra persona y lo vi en ti. Traté de no pensar en la posibilidad de que yo te gustara, no quería pensar eso porque no quería verte de manera extraña. También crecí en una casa muy religiosa ... Nunca le he dicho esto a nadie, ni siquiera a Miguel ... pero siempre supe que también me gustaban las chicas. Y por eso, me asusté cuando me dijiste que me amabas. Mi primer pensamiento fue rechazarte ... fingir que esto no sucedió y dejarte ir como pediste. Pero luego recordé cómo me sentí cuando mi mejor amiga me llamó lesbiana sucia...(I know you’re asking yourself how I knew. I found out when you told me you were happy a few weeks ago. I know when someone likes another person and I saw it on your face. I tried not to think about the possibility of you liking me, I didn’t want to view you weirdly. I also grew up in a religious household...I never told anyone this, not even Miguel but I knew from a young age that I also liked girls along with boys. That is why I was scared when you told me you loved me. My first thought was to deny what you said, to pretend it never happened and let you go like you asked. But I began to remember when my best friend called me a dirty lesbian...)” Maria’s voice wavered a bit before she cleared her throat to continue with her little story, “Recuerdo sentirme tan mal conmigo misma. Pensé que mis sentimientos eran repugnantes y eso me hizo dejar esos sentimientos a un lado. No fue hasta que llegaste cuando empecé a recordarlos. (I remember feeling terrible with myself. I thought my feelings were disgusting and that caused me to put my feelings to the side. It’s what until you came into my life that I began to remember them.)”

“M—María... ¿Porqué me estas diciendo esto? (Why are you telling me this?)” your voice cracked, turning to your other side to see her back was facing towards you. “No es necesario que me explique. No sé qué decir ... Has sido amable conmigo en los pocos meses que trabajo aquí. Realmente amo mi trabajo pero no entiendo el sentido de esta conversación. Estoy despedida ... al menos creo que estoy despedida. (You don’t need to explain to me all of this. I don’t know what to say. You’ve been so kind to me in the few months I’ve worked here. I really love my job but I don’t know why you’re telling me all this. I’m fired...at least I think I am fired.)”

Maria turned to you, her face streaming with tears, “No estas despedida. Te lo digo para que cuando empiece a besarte, no te sorprendas. (You are not fired. I am telling you all of this because when I start to kiss you, you won’t be surprised.)”

The words almost didn’t register fast enough as Maria leaned down to kiss you, slowly at first so it didn’t overwhelm you. Once it began to sink in, you kissed back eagerly. You didn’t know if you were dreaming or dead, everything seemed to happen so fast. Never in a million years did you think your feelings would be reciprocated.

Maria’s hand gripped the hair on the back of your head, intending to keep your face in place when she broke the messy kiss to peck at your neck. Even though you two only kissed once, it told you a lot about Maria. Things you suspected but never truly could have known until this moment.

Maria is domineering. She’s the one in control and you were the one to be controlled. You didn’t mind, you were taking anything you could get from her.

Maria was also playful, her free hand was playing with your necklace as she kissed around the exposed skin on you neck and upper chest.

But above all, she was passionate. You were so under her spell and past sanity that you didn’t notice when she unbuttoned your white shirt. Your face flushed as you looked down to see that she had taken off her own top, wondering if this was a signal to take off the rest of your clothes. You fumbled with your hands to reach your back to begin unhooking your bra when she stopped you.

“Creo que deberíamos continuar con los besos. Lo que queremos no puede suceder porque no tenemos suficiente tiempo. No pensé que me pondría cachonda tan rápido.” She smiled as she traced a finger along your collarbone, “Te ves tan hermosa sin camisa puesta, casi no puedo esperar para ver más. (We should continue with only kissing. What we want cannot happen because we don’t have enough time. I didn’t think I would get horny so fast. You look beautiful without a shirt on, I can hardly wait to see more of you).”

You blushed and leaned in to continue making out with her. Maria pulled you onto her lap to straddle her, her hand immediately grabbing your ass. You gave a surprised gasp, making Maria laugh in response. You both kiss each other, your lips feeling swollen when you parted. You pulled away, breathless and laid down on the bed.

“Esto se siente mal. Usted es mi patrona, cuido a los niños... eres una mujer casada. (This feels wrong. You’re my boss, I watch the kids...you’re a married woman).” You began to panic, sitting up instantly in fright when Maria placed her hand on your stomach to push you back down.

“Querida, tengo una pregunta y quiero una respuesta. (Darling, I have a question and I want an answer from you)” Maria turned to you and made sure you two shared eye contact, “Te gusta mi marido, ¿no? (You like my husband, don’t you?)”

You gave her a confused look. Did Maria know all? Had she been spying on you? How does she know that you like Miguel as well? I guess I’m not as secretive as I thought, you thought to yourself. But how can you answer her? What was the right answer? What did she want to hear?

“No no. ¡No pienses! No me gusta cuando haces eso. (No, no. Don’t think about it! I don’t like when you do that.)” Maria shook her head, “Quiero que me des una respuesta honesta. No quiero escuchar una mentira, quiero escuchar la verdad. Usted me puede decir. Realmente me gustaría saber. (I want you to give me an honest answer. I don’t want to hear a lie, I want to hear the truth. You can tell me. I would really like to know.)”

You felt your heart beat faster, suddenly feeling dizzy. You barely realized your dehydration from crying so much earlier.

“Bueno ... parece que ya sabes la respuesta. (Well...it sounds like you already know the answer to your question)” You bit your lip, wiping the slight precipitation on your upper lip.

“Me conoces bien. (You know me well)” Maria gave a wide grin, leaning down to kiss your forehead, “Quiero oírte decirlo. Quiero escucharlo de tus labios. Si no dices nada, haré que uses tus labios de otras formas. (I want to hear you say it. I want to hear it from your lips. If you don’t say anything, I will have you use your lips in other ways).”

Your eyes widened, “Para mí, eso suena maravilloso. (For me, that sounds wonderful)” Maria shot you an unamused expression, prompting you to finally confess, “Tu esposo también me gusta. Lo siento. No eres solo tú. También es él. Y me hace sentir aún más repugnante. (I like Miguel too. I’m sorry. It’s not just you. It’s him as well. And it makes me feel even more disgusting.)”

Maria wasn’t phased, deciding to lay down next to you finally and looking up at the ceiling, “Tuviste ojos en él desde que llegaste. Pensé que ustedes dos ya habrían dormido juntos antes de esto. Todo el mundo sabe que se acuesta con putas. Supongo que elegí no darme cuenta. Todo estuvo bien hasta que me encontré con esa puta que quedó embarazada de él. (You’ve has eyes on him since you’ve arrived. I thought you two would have already slept together by now. The whole word knows that Miguel sleeps with whores. I guess I chose to be ignorant to the fact. I was fine with pretending it wasn’t an issue until I found the whore he impregnated).”

You gasped but quickly regretting it. You had heard the rumors from other employees but didn’t think there was any truth to them.

“Le di dos opciones. La primera fue abortar al bebé y recibir algo de dinero como compensación por el trauma de perder a un hijo. La segunda era tener el bebé y recibir el dinero suficiente para salir de Guadalajara. Me vale madres que pasará con el bebé o ella, me costó mucho no matar a Miguel cuando me contó lo que pasó. Me avergonzó al hacerme hablar con ella en lugar de hablar con ella él mismo. Para abreviar la historia, eligió el aborto. Por mucho que odié a Miguel en ese momento, todavía amo a ese idiota. Sentí pena por esa mujer que pensó que a Miguel le importaría lo suficiente como para hablar con ella. Miguel apenas se preocupa por nuestros hijos, por eso tenemos una niñera. Le rompió el corazón y el mío al mismo tiempo. Qué hombre. (I gave her two options. The first was to abort the baby and receive money as compensation for the trauma of losing a baby. The second was to have the baby and get enough money to leave Guadalajara. I don’t give a fuck what happened with the baby or her, it took everything to not kill Miguel when he told me what happened. He embarrassed me when he made me talk to her instead of talking to her himself. To make a long story short, she chose the abortion. Although in that moment I hated Miguel, I still love that idiot. I felt terrible for the woman who thought Miguel cared enough to talk to her. Miguel barely cares about our children’s, that’s why we have you. He broke her heart and mine at the same time. What a guy.)”

The two of you laid silent, you looked at her and she up at the ceiling. You noticed a stray tear falling from her eye and you were quick to wipe it away.

“Lo peor de todo es que yo también la odiaba. No porque se acostó con él, sino porque quedó embarazada. ¿Por qué todas las putas quedan embarazadas? Solo pude tener dos hijos, quería uno o dos más. ¿es mucho para preguntar? Dolía sugerir el aborto, pero no soportaba que otra mujer tuviera a su hijo bastardo como recordatorio de su infedilidad. (The worst of all is that I hated her too. I didn’t hate her because she slept with him, but because she got pregnant. Why do all the whores get pregnant? I only had two, I wanted one or two more. That’s all. Is that too much to ask for? It hurt to suggest the abortion but I couldn’t stand another woman having his bastard child. That child would always be a reminder to me if his infidelity)” Maria’s eyes closed to stop the tears and even through non sexual ways, you learned more about Maria.

She was broken. As were you. She was just better at hiding it. You didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, you didn’t think you could cheer her up from admitting to forcing a woman getting an abortion. She needed to get this off her chest.

In your mind, you thought Maria was cruel for giving that woman an ultimatum. Maria may have said she had given the woman two options but it was obvious which one the young woman would take. Even if she was carrying the bastard child of Miguel, that baby deserved a chance to live. The baby did nothing wrong but be conceived. It wasn’t like Maria couldn’t have adopted it, she wanted more children. Maybe this child was the chance for her to have the third child she’s always wanted. What was the difference if the baby came from a different woman? Maria was going to be the mom all the same.

“Ahora sabes más sobre el tipo de hombre que es Félix. Es un lobo a la vista, obtiene lo que quiere. Siempre. Eres joven, amable, pero un poco ingenua, te comerá y te dejará sin nada. Te romperá el alma como si nada. Solo te lastimarás en el proceso. (Now you know what kind of man Felix is. He’s a wolf in plain sight, he gets what he wants. Always. You’re young, loving, but a bit naive. He will eat you up and leave you with nothing. He will break your soul like it was nothing. You’ll just hurt yourself in the process)” Maria stroked your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead as she shifted towards you.

You turned to her, cupping her face gently. You felt like you hadn’t been looking at her in the eyes enough so you made sure this time to make a point, “Te amo Maria y si lo que dices es cierto sobre Felix, no lo aceptaré. Solo quiero estar contigo, sea lo que sea que eso signifique. No quiero irme, quiero quedarme aquí y cuidar de los niños. Me preocupo por ellos. (I love you Maria and if what you say about Felix is true, I won’t accept him. I just want to be with you, whatever that entails. I don’t want to go, I want to stay here and take care of the kids. I care for them.)”

“Sé que has estado hablando de el amor todo este tiempo, pero ¿sabes siquiera qué es el amor en realidad? Sé que no has estado con nadie, eres apenas una adulta. ¿cómo sabes de lo que estás hablando? Puedes pensar que me amas, puedes pensar que amas a los niños, incluso puedes pensar que puedes cambiar a Miguel. (I know you’ve been talking about love this whole time but do you even know what real love is? I know you haven’t been with anyone, you’re barely an adult. How do you know what you’re talking about? You can think you love me, the kids, you may even think about being able to change Miguel)” she ran a finger over your bottom lip, smiling softly at how you slightly trembled from the sensation, “No sé si te estoy contando todas las cosas malas que tiene Félix para protegerte o para ser egoísta. No me gusta compartir. Eres tan preciosa que no merece ni siquiera tocar un solo cabello tuyo. Está mal querer tanto a alguien. Pero se siente tan bien. Finalmente entiendo a Félix y por qué se coje a mujeres que no son su esposa. (I don’t know if I’m telling you about Felix to project you or to be selfish. I don’t like to share. You’re just so precious that he doesn’t deserve to even touch a single hair on your head. I finally understand why Felix fucks other women who aren’t his wife.)”

You saw the passion in Maria’s eyes and that let you know that she meant what she was saying. She had reason to believe that maybe you weren’t really in love and that it was just lust. You didn’t want to believe it but with every passing moment, you couldn’t help but fall more deep than before. At first you felt terrible at the idea of betraying her marriage and being the home wrecker but how could you wreck a home that was already on its way to be demolished? Maria just wanted to be loved and you planned on doing just that.

You felt that it was the right time to lean in for another passionate kiss when you heard Miguelito pound on your door.

“¿Bebita, estas en tu cuarto? Necesito ayuda con mi tarea, por favor. Te prometo que no voy a dar lata. (*Nickname*, are you in there? I need help with my homework please. I promise I won’t be difficult.)” He whined, continuing to knock softly in the hopes that gig will respond back.

You smiled softly, instantly getting off the bed and freshening up. You had a job to do and you were momentarily sidetracked. “Si estoy aquí. Estaré allí en un momento. Espero que te mantengas fiel a tu promesa, cariño. (I am in here. I will be there in a second. I hope you can keep your promise, sweetheart)”

As you gave an apologetic glance to Maria, you quickly made yourself presentable and happily helped Miguelito with his homework. Anything to get your mind off of everything that had happened before he interrupted.

You were walking out when you saw Felix in the hallway, walking towards you. You tried your best to seem nonchalant in the hopes he would not stop you but right when you walked next to him, his hand gripped your arm tightly to get you to stop in your tracks.

“¿Sabes dónde está mi esposa? (Do you know where my wife is?”

And that’s it folks. For now. 😋 This series will be dialogue heavy so I apologize in advance. Thank you so much for reading!

#miguel angel felix gallardo #maria elvira #maria elvira de felix #narcos mexico imagine #narcos fanfic

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alexhandersenx · 5 years ago

Text

There’s no one to save me

Ivar/Reader (Modern AU)

A/N: Hi everyone! First and most important thing, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!💕🎉🎂 @flowers-in-your-hayr I want to wish you all the best on this day, I hope you enjoy this day as much as possible and hope this can make it a bit better! This year may not have been our best birthdays but next year we’ll celebrate them twice! You know I really admire your work but much more as a person! Thank you for always being so so nice, you’re great!💖

Second, here it is, me and my shitty writing. This is the first time I ever write anything (you’ll see) but a lovely little bird came and told me about this amazing surprise (@maggiescarborough 💖) and I couldn’t refuse. This is the moodboard I chose bc when I asked Gabi about it, I wrote more of a mini fic than a request (sorry about that, honey😅) so I thought it’ll be easier since I already have an idea.

And finally, to say that this can be considered as the first chapter of a small fic???, Idk, if you want to read something else, I will continue it and if not, it can stay as a imagine. (Any feedback you want to give is always welcomed and will help me in the future!)

Okay that’s all, I think. Now I'll shut my mouth and let you guys read in peace😊

All credits to this amazing moodboard for the birthday girl @flowers-in-your-hayr

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: First time writing (biggest warning), mention of death and suicide, cursing, drug dealing, a bit of angst, English not being my mother tongue. (I’m not sure if something else😅).

There you were, (Y/N) (Y/LN), facing the most important case you had encountered in your professional career, which, to tell the truth, was not very long. You were 24 years old and you were a policewoman at the local police station on a small island called Samsø, which together with some others as Læsø, Anholt and Sjælland were known as the 'Kattegat Islands'.

You started there when you were 22, with a lot of effort and after years of dedication, yes, it may sound like a joke, since you were very young, but since your father passed away, you decided to follow in his footsteps. He had become chief of police and worked in what was now your office. His death occurred unexpectedly, one day he went to work and didn't come back, your mother and you didn't know anything, but he had been working on a drug-related case for a long time, and they didn't clarify anything for you after his death either, justifying that it was a case of high danger and a secret file.

When your father died, you were given the belongings he was carrying on the day of his death. You didn't find anything out of the ordinary, just his watch, which had his initials on it, the car keys and his wallet, in which he carried the usual: some money, credit cards and a picture of your mother and you as a child. From one of the compartments of the wallet, a small fragment of a photo was sticking out. It was very enlarged, only a small part of the face could be seen, it looked like a man, but his face didn't sound familiar to you and besides the fragment was very damaged, so you didn't give it much importance. Although you were intrigued to know the reason for that fragment in your father's wallet and you wanted to know the identity of that person, unfortunately you couldn't do anything about it. You put the items back in the bag and kept it in a drawer that you knew you wouldn't open often since it was with the rest of his belongings.

After this incident, you and your mother faced a difficult time when living at home without him was almost impossible. After a not very long period, you were able to return to your daily life and continued, but however, your mother did not get back on her feet, she went into a great depression. You tried psychologists at first and slowly it looked like she was getting better, but it seems she only did it to fall into an even bigger black hole.

From then on, you contacted a psychiatrist, after a year watching your mother was consumed with sadness you couldn't stand it any longer, even though she was resistant to taking medication you couldn't do anything else. She had been going to the psychiatrist for some time and the truth was that it wasn't going as you expected, your mother had a very negative attitude. She tried to avoid medication when you didn't force her, and for that reason none of the treatments worked.

You were desperate, time was passing, and you didn't know what to do anymore, until one day when you came home and you found your mother breathing very lightly and not responding to any kind of stimulus. She had decided to take her own life with a bottle of pills, yes, how ironic. When she was taken to the hospital, the doctors told you that her vital signs were very bad, the intake of medication had to be over six hours ago, and this had already affected a large part of the system. It was very difficult for her to survive, so much so that she couldn't.

21 years, just 21 years when you were left alone in the world, when everyone was getting drunk and having a hangover and throwing up the next morning, you were there struggling to get where you were today.

Although you couldn't have reached that point without the unconditional support of your father's great friend, Officer Heahmund. He had been like a second father to you, the only one you could lean on when these events occurred. Both he and his wife Anne and their little twins always had a place for you.

You could say you'd been investigating the case for a year and it was huge, really huge. Both you and your colleagues had reached an impasse, you couldn't get anything new, so you decided to take the reins and make a proposal... raid the shelter where the organization was hiding. You had managed, after a long time of tracking them down, to find out that every Thursday at 11.30 p.m. they went out to do business. If you calculated it perfectly, you could set up an ambush, surround the perimeter with your agents strategically, and force your way in, so you could examine the interior for clear, incriminating evidence and wait for them to come back and finally catch them and finish the damn case. From that point on, the game would begin.

Ivar Lothbrook, or also known as Ivar the Boneless, was the person you were chasing. Known to be the leader of the organization. Information about him was quite scarce, the son of a bitch knew how to remain anonymous, you didn't even know what he looked like. Although he also took part in the weekly excursions, he never got out of the vehicle they were in and you didn't dare get close enough to the shelter to see them leave, just as a precaution, so as not to spoil the case. All you knew was that the nickname he had earned was due to a disease he suffered from that made him unable to walk, Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

But you did know something else about his brothers, who were in charge of leading the band when they were doing field work and his brother Ivar was not there. There were three more brothers, the elder Ubbe, the second Hvitserk and the last Sigurd. You had pictures of them, which you had studied to a tee, and they didn't have any kind of background, something that caught your attention because in all these bands it's something common, but it seems that they were playing clean.

Tomorrow would be the big day and you had no margin for error. You decided to leave it at that, not think about it anymore. You opened a bottle of wine and ordered dinner at your favourite restaurant. You were going to enjoy that night quietly before going into action.

That night you practically didn't rest, your head didn't stop thinking and you were fighting against it for a long time, until finally you were victorious, being able to sleep. You promised yourself that it wouldn't be the only thing you would be victorious in.

The sound of the alarm woke you up, it was very early, although there were still hours to go, you had to be ready and needed to do certain things before preparing. You had arranged to meet at 8pm at the police station, you would go over the plan and wait until 10.30pm to put the plan into action. The day went away, you had gone out to buy some things that you needed, you had done some sport to clear your mind and you had taken a bath for an hour and a half which helped to relax each of your muscles that had been in constant tension for several days.

You got out of the shower, you started to fix yourself and for a moment you looked in the mirror, from bottom to top, and you looked into your eyes, you saw your father, you saw him in you.

- “Ivar, Ivar, what little freedom you have left” - You said in a defiant voice as you kept looking at yourself and feeling sure that everything would go as you planned.

What you didn't consider at the time is that in a game you don't always win, and even less when you don't know your opponent.

A phone call took you out of your thoughts, you hesitated for a few seconds before reacting, you went into the kitchen and picked up the phone:

- “Hi, (Y/N) here”.

- “Hello, sweetheart, how are you?” Your boss asked with some concern in his voice.

- “I'm doing good, getting ready to leave soon. Anything happened?”

- “No, nothing, I just wanted to remind you, that you still have time to stop this, I can send another partner, I don't want you to do this out of obligation” - said Heahmund, with some hesitation.

- “Heahmund, we've talked about this a million times, I'm gonna take care of it. We've gone over the plan every day; we've looked at alternatives in case the first option doesn't work out and you have an expert in infiltrating other people's homes in charge of the plan... What can go wrong? Trust me, before you can tell, we're in your backyard drinking beers with Anne and the girls, celebrating together as a family, while Ivar the Boneless is rotting in jail” - You said with certainty

- “Ever since you were a little girl I've always admired that about you: Determined, brave and a fighter, which has always made you achieve everything you set out to do - he answered with a broken voice” - I just wanted to wish you the best of luck in the world now that no one is around. See you in a bit, Agent 007.

As he spoke you noticed some concern in his voice, was Heahmund afraid of the mission?... Impossible, he was known for his courage and dedication but in this situation, you could not avoid that this insecurity that you did not feel for a long time will hit you again.

Since the death of your father you had changed, you had become steel, as you said, you had no heart for anyone, you had focused so much on getting ahead and getting what you had in mind that you had forgotten one very important thing, being a teenager. And now that time was gone.

Still, you burst out laughing when he called you Agent 007

- “Thank you, Jack Bauer” - you said, playing along, referring to those movies and action shows you loved to watch together when you were younger.

You hung up and then felt a sense of emptiness and… fear? No, you weren't going to let that happen. You certainly knew that you had to occupy your mind at that moment, or you would go crazy. So, you connected your phone to the speaker and put on your favourite playlist and time passed with you getting ready until it was time to leave. You took the bike keys, a beautiful Harley-Davidson and got going.

When you arrived at the police station your colleagues and Heahmund were already there, you went over the plan and waited for the exact time to start.

It was 11:15, the game had begun. You were about to head for the first stop on your mission. The aim in this phase was to park in the surroundings of the main highway, where Ivar and his people had to go through, so you could check that everything was in order, and that the usual Thursday trip would take place. You arrived before time, it was night and the highway was slightly illuminated by distant lanterns. The place had been carefully chosen as there were certain points where you could wait in stealth.

As time passed, you became more and more nervous and couldn't help it. There was something in your head that wouldn't let you concentrate. Heahmund noticed it and said:

- “What's going on in that little head, (Y/N)?” - He said in a sweet tone.

- “Hmm...nothing, I'm fine” - you whispered as you looked for his glance and smiled.

- “Come on, (Y/N), I know you too well to know that something is bothering you”

- “Ugh, I hate you Heahmund… what if they don't come, if for whatever reason today doesn't happen” - you said losing your nerve a little

- “Hey, hey, hey and this? Where's my little fighter? They're going to do it, you'll see, and before dawn they'll all be behind bars”

- “How can you be so sure?”

- “I just know” - he said with confidence and came up to you kissing you on the head

You needed it, you needed someone telling you that everything would be fine, with your 24 years you were tired of playing grown-up, strong and lonely. You had always needed that love, but that side of you was known only by Heahmund and he had always been there to give it to you.

You did not have much more time to get melancholy, it was happening, Ivar and his people could be seen from afar. They were organized in three black armoured cars and four motorcycles guarding the sides. You saw how they passed before you, in a heartbeat everything you had feared had happened, the only part of the plan that did not fall on you had worked. Now everything depended on you. You waited a few minutes and both of you, along with several patrol cars, set off. Some of your colleagues stayed in the place so that they could control when they returned and thus warn those of you who were going to the shelter.

Second stop on the mission, the shelter. Ivar and his people owned an apartment building where they used to stay permanently, it was on the outskirts of town, in the middle of nowhere. You had left your vehicles a few meters behind, also hidden, so as not to cause any noise. You found yourselves walking quietly in the dark with your guns in hand, towards an old building. When you reached the right distance, you appreciated the immensity of the building with enough housing to accommodate several families. The facade was neglected, yellowish-coloured, and you could see the doors of each house, white and many of them peeling and battered. Plus, right next door was what looked like a big warehouse. Everything was surrounded by metal fences.

Your companions began to take their positions as you had planned and you and Heahmund continued to approach, until you reached the side of the fence so that you could climb without attracting attention.

You looked at Heahmund and nodded just as you turned to move forward alone you noticed how he grabbed your arm, your heart racing as he said:

- “I'll keep an eye on everything that happens, the moment I hear something out of the ordinary, even if you don't say the code word, we'll get in and get you out”

- “Damn, Heahmund, you scared me... yes, I know, don't worry” - you said losing your patience a little

And now it was time, holding your SIG Sauer firmly in your hands and checking for the last time that the microphone you were holding in the middle of your bra was properly placed, you were ready to move forward. You approached the front door of the warehouse. If there was anything interesting to look for, it would be there. You pulled the lock pick out of your pocket and picked the lock easily. You opened the door a couple of inches, at that moment your heart felt like it was going to come out of its socket. You checked that the light inside was off, you continued to open it completely and you went inside quietly. It was all dark, you stood still for a few seconds to pay attention to all the sound around you. You could only hear the “tick tock” of a clock. You looked at the wall for a light switch, found it and turned it on. Several fluorescent lights illuminated the big warehouse, some of them failing and blinking making the place even more scary. For a few seconds the light blinded you because of the contrast of the dark night to which your eyes had been used so far. You took a quick look, ducked your head and whispered into the microphone:

- “Clear”

You raised your head and for the first time you stopped to look around. It was immense, the walls were covered with high shelves where there were pots of all kinds, some were full and some were empty, there were boxes, masks, safety goggles, gloves and all kinds of chemical devices. There was a long table on the side with many chairs, some lying on the floor, others on top of the table... that place reminded you of a typical high school lab from which the most you could do was decant a mixture. You were surprised... they were cooking drugs there... "Well, what a dump" you said to yourself; you thought everything would be much more careful and not such a messy place as that.

And in the middle of all that mess, at the end of the room you found a big wooden desk and a big black leather armchair behind it, it seemed that that little space didn't belong in the room, it was all tidy and on the table the only thing that was there was some papers, small pictures and office material. You approached and saw some maps with certain points marked... What were these points? You thought that it could be some meeting place or points of sale, you took out the PDA and uploaded the photo to the police station network.

- “I think I found something, I just uploaded it to the network” -You said in a whisper

You didn't have any answers, nor did you notice much of it, since you got caught up in a huge painting right behind the desk. In it appeared a beautiful young woman with long blonde hair. It was just a painting, but you could feel the elegance of that woman in it. Next to her was a taller man who looked slightly older, shaven and with a long beard with white locks. He was in a suit and showed a great presence just like the woman. But there was something that caught your attention, the look of him, his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce you as if you were seeing them in person. The wrinkles at the corner of his eyes betrayed his maturity. You stared for a while, curious, until you came back to reality, took a quick look again to see if anything could be useful, but nothing. So, you retraced your steps and headed for the door. You tried to communicate with your colleagues again:

- “Guys, nothing else around here, I'm going back to my starting position” - You whispered again.

And at that moment you froze, you were listening to yourself double and your "double" was coming right out the door. Time stopped for you, you didn't understand anything, and the only thing you could think of was to hide behind the door. This one opened little by little and you started to listen how people came in... one, two, three... you were counting the steps to be able to calculate the number of people, you lost the count to the fifth since such a quantity would be impossible to face and come out victorious.

- “SHHHH, shut up... do you hear it?” - said a male voice you didn't recognize.

What you could hear was your breathing shaking through a walkie... at that moment the world fell apart. A police walkie in the hands of those assholes, something hadn't gone right, and you didn't know what.

- “Yeah, it smells weird too, doesn't it?” - said another male voice, but this one sounded much more ironic.

- “I don't know Ivar I don't smell anything... what do you smell?” - Said a third voice, the closest so far to your position.

- “Mmm I don't know it's a disgusting smell, something like... police”

At that very moment they closed the door, leaving you exposed. You saw five men, but you didn't have time for much else as the one closest to you, that you came to recognize was Ubbe, grabbed your arm and made a quick movement blocking it, causing your gun to fall to the ground. He drew you to his body by placing your back to him and holding your neck with his arm, doing a lock around it to immobilize you. You looked ahead, saw a young man slowly approaching you and examining you from bottom to top until your eyes connected, deep blue and intimidating gaze. To tell the truth, he was a very attractive guy, but that idea was automatically erased when you remembered who he was. Something stirred in your stomach, you didn't know if it was fear, hate or a mixture. Slowly a cynical smile appeared in his mouth. Definitely, it was disgust what you had noticed in your stomach seconds ago. You could have tried to get out of that grip, but you didn't see the point, they were five men over six feet. It was impossible, to get out of there. Ubbe kept pressing his arm against your neck, causing your senses to slowly fade away.

- “Well, well, and I thought this wasn't going to be fun" said the boy in front of you in a hesitant voice. - Nice to meet you, I am Ivar Lothbrook - he said extending his hand

That was the last thing you could see and hear before you lost total control over your body and thus your senses.

The game had started... like a shitty one.

#vikings fic #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar #ivar the boneless #modern ivar #ivar imagine #ivar lothbrok #ivar lothbrook x reader #moder ivar imagine #ivar the boneless fic #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar lothbrook fic #ivar lothbrook imagine

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fae-fucker · 4 years ago

Text

Zenith: Chapter 68-71

Chapter 68

Andi remembers how Kalee gave her a tour of her home and bragged about how she’d be ruling the place someday. Andi asks why her and not her brother.

Oh, Androma. Kalee had laughed then, tossing her head back in that glorious, carefree way that made everyone around her want to come closer. You and I both know that a woman can rule better than any man ever could. And I’ll look twice as good doing it, too.

Shinsay, voices muffled as their heads are stuck up each other’s asses: This is definitely, 100%, one whole, bona fide, authentic, organic, home-grown feminism that we just put in our book.

Also ... take a look at that weak-ass description that’s supposed to show us how good and cool Kalee is. When she laughs (in a way that tbh have you ever laughed? be real with me now), people want to ... come closer?

Wow! That’s like saying ... when I scratch my face, people want to call their mom. When I brush my hair, people may spontaneously feel the need to take a slightly deeper breath.

Talk about low standards. Hey fellas, you ever see someone laugh and just kinda sorta want to approach them but not really? Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Andi thinks about how Kalee would’ve been a better ruler than her dad, who doesn’t even bother coming down to meet his tortured son because that’s how incompetent and evil and heartless he is. I mean, Andi doesn’t know that Valen is the result of rape, but still. Idk if I’m on board with how the book demonizes the hell out of the General but tried to make whatsherface sympathetic. And by “I don’t know if I am” I mean “I’m definitely not what the fuck is wrong with these people.”

Dex tries to make some conversation and Andi says that nobody befriended Kalee, that only super duper special people were CHOSEN by her to become her friends.

I’m ... not sure how this is supposed to be better. In fact, I’d say it’s worse?

“Kalee chose the people she wished to let into her life. I was honored that she allowed me to be assigned to her.”

“Honored?” Dex asked, raising a bruised brow. “Or damned?”

“I’ll let you know after we talk to the general,” Andi said.

I’m gonna fiking piss. “I’ll tell you whether this important life event was honor or damnation, but like, later, after we have this appointment, ok?” Why is this so funny. Have I fully lost my marbles?

Andi foreshadows some escape tunnels that are hidden all around the estate so Dex has a logical way to save them at the end of the book. I’m sure there is a more elegant way of setting that up, but I can’t be bothered to find one, so let’s call it acceptable and move on.

They arrive at their destination and Andi notices that Alfie seems bummed out. She muses that he’s “capable of far more complex thinking than she’d originally guessed,” which, DOY, but ok, and then thinks about how he’s saved her crew and remembered Gilly’s Marketable Space Pet, which implies he has some “understanding of feelings and attachments.”

That hamster wheel do be spinnin’.

The “head Spectre” comes out to meet them and ...

It took everything in her to speak as the truth struck her.

“Dad?”

DUN DUN DUUUN, it’s Andi’s dad! Also, “the truth struck her?” What truth? That it’s your dad? Was that in doubt? Did you really need a moment to connect the dots, to realize this is your dad? Was there a moment where you saw this man, who is your dad, and thought that this wasn’t your dad, only for the truth to strike and OH SHIT THAT’S MY DAD!! WOW HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THAT THIS IS INDEED MY DAD.

Tbh if you strapped knives to a roomba it’d have more charisma and presence as the protagonist than Andi. And let’s be real, more intelligence.

Yet another chapter ends on a pointless cliffhanger only for the scene to continue exactly where it left off!

You’re just full of surprises, Shinsay.

Chapter 69 (nice)

Andi recaps everything that she’s gone through after the Kalee crash up to the fight with the big alien dude who got deus ex machina-d by Alfie and how she nearly kissed Dex, which gets written as extra special, just so she can make this point:

But this...her father, as General Cortas’s head Spectre?

This might actually kill her.

And aside from how generically melodramatic it is, I can’t help but recall this, from chapter 7:

The man in front of her was a victim of her foolishness. Beside her was the man who’d rejected her love.

The two of them, together? It was nearly enough to shatter Andi.

Andi has the same reaction as I do when in a room with multiple men. Except in her case I think it’s supposed to be deep and personal.

Anyway, self-plagiarism aside, Andi thinks about how her dad was always there for her but then one day wasn’t when he didn’t support her on her trial and how conflicted she feels about him, both wanting to demand justice but also wanting comfort. This is actually quite touching and feels very grounded and realistic.

General Cortas rubs it in that Andi’s dad, “Comander Racella”, has been very loyal and hardworking since he was promoted after Andi’s trial. Andi hopes that her father actually hates the general and was forced to work for him as some sort of punishment for what happened with their daughters.

The general says the situation on Adhira has been taken care of, and when Andi asks whether Xen Ptera attacked because of Valen and her crew’s presence on Adhira, the general says that’s classified. For reasons? Idk. Seems pretty obvious to me, or maybe he just doesn’t know?

Dex tries to yap but Cortas flexes his big dick and reminds Dex that he’s a Guardian now, and Dex is too much of a baby to risk his regained status so he shuts up. This is all spelled out for us by Andi’s inner monologue, because we’re idiots.

The general claims the Xen Pteran forces have been wiped out, saying how it’s probably all they had since there’s few able-bodied and willing people to recruit for war after their planet got fucked, and when Andi presses him for why the attack happened now and on Adhira, he says:

“War never really ends, Androma. The desire for revenge is often too strong to forget.”

“War never ends ... But me and my crew totes ended that war just now. They don’t have any more soldiers so this war is over.” Makes sense, sir.

Cortas says that queen Alara is safe and will be at the Peace Summit, which Andi immediately tells him to cancel because it would be the perfect opportunity for another attack. Cortas replies by saying that Arcardius is impenetrable and that the day the Olen System successfully invades will be the day “stars fall from the sky” which is a very poetic and not at all natural way to say something like this, so it’s there for ... idk dramatic irony? He also reminds her that the Summit is important because it celebrates the peace after the war and the unity between the systems and I’m here like ... for a guy who says war never ends, you sure seem happy to celebrate a war ending and don’t believe one is going on right now. But I guess these characters just exist to spout meaningless yet deep-sounding nonsense at each other.

Dex reminds the general that they’ve done their end of the deal, at which point the general conveniently decides to prolong it out of nowhere and essentially forces Andi and Dex to be Valen’s bodyguards at the Peace Summit by holding Andi’s crew and ship and Dex’s money and status hostage. Thanks for ensuring the main characters are there for the climax, sir! Appreciated!

Dex and Andi leave in a huff.

Chapter 70

We’re in Lira’s POV as she reminisces about her childhood with Lon while he’s recovering from his near-death-experience.

So she sat by [Lon’s] side for endless hours, until the warm clutches of sleep stole her away.

She dreams about flying on an “Adhiran darowak” but then DUN DUN DUUUN Adhira below turns into Xen Ptera and it’s horrible!

“No,” Lira gasped. Her heart began to crack. Fissures spread through it, reaching cold fingers through every valve until Lira felt darkness stealing her away.

So the editor just left that in, huh? Just let Shinsay use the exact same wording in less than 200 words? Must’ve been stolen away by the editing fairy for editing crimes while reading this.

Lira is woken up by Alara, who got here so fucking fast she must be part-Sonic on her father’s side. You’d think a planetary leader would have more to do after a sudden and deadly attack on her home planet, but I guess Adhirans are so chill they’ll just let their leader fuck off to take care of her angsty teenage niece instead.

Lira says that she’ll do anything to make up for bringing Valen to Adhira, to which Alara says that the only thing Lira will do is “follow her heart,” which is sweet of her to say but also really convenient and makes this whole decision easier for her.

I mean, it’s nice that Alara is so supportive, but 1) narratively, it removes the conflict that was introduced only a few chapters ago 2) it makes Alara seem like she’s only there to be the supportive cool aunt and the Good Queen, without any expectations or wants of her own. Like, wasn’t the pressure from Alara something that gave Lira actual conflict? Idk. Seems too easy, is what I’m saying.

Lira didn’t let go of her aunt until the tears dried up. Until they sat down on either side of Lon’s bedside, held his hands and spoke of happier times. The beauty of a family that could come together, broken, and still find a way to become something whole.

You’re one step away from “Ohana means family” over here, Shinsay. Stop spelling shit out. WE. GET. IT. Also, whose narration is this? We’ve mostly stuck to third person limited, so ... is Lira thinking this? Is she thinking this shit while it’s happening? About her own family and situation? What the fuck?

Shinsay couldn’t keep their suspiciously sticky fingers out of their own writing and let it breathe so it comes out looking like God’s mistake.

Anyway, Lon wakes up and Alara tells him what went down on Adhira.

Chapter 71

We’re back with Andi, who just got out of a bath and is bitterly admiring her “private quarters” when she’s interrupted by DUN DUN her dad! He’s been waiting for her!

It’s all very tense. Before they can really start talking, though, we get a flashback. No, really. This whole tense reunion between father and daughter is interrupted by a lengthy flashback brought on by Andi watching her dad and Remembering.

Because Shinsay.

It’s a flashback to Andi in a cell, the day before she was supposed to be executed. Her dad tells her that her mother is "not well” and we find out his name is Oren. As they’re saying their tearful goodbyes, Oren slips Andi a key and tells her “Bay Seven. Tomorrow at dawn.”

The flashback ends with Andi’s cell standing empty the next morning.

Very cool and all that.

Back in the now, Andi rightfully chews her dad out for being a cowardly little bitch and throwing his teenage daughter under the bus for the sake of status. Something he freely admits to doing. He says he and her mother had to struggle to rebuild their reputation after she ruined it, and that he believes his daughter died with Kalee and that whoever he saved in the cell was already the Bloody Baroness even if she didn’t know it yet. Then he fucks off.

It’s all extremely silly. It would’ve been heartbreaking in any better book, but instead, it just feels like it’s tacked on for the sake of adding even more angst to Androma’s character. In fact, she’s not even upset at this. Instead she just carves some more tallies into her swords, dances some more with the dead, and then sneaks out.

No really, it’s written like a list.

She waited for the tears to come. But they never did.

Instead she sat alone, adding more tallies to her swords. Dancing with the dead inside her head.

Why is this so funny! I think it’s because both the tally-carving and the ghost-dancing is supposed to be these deep and haunted things she does that’s given a fair amount of weight and focus, but then it’s just written out like this like it’s just some generic routine shit she does like brushing her teeth or wiping her ass.

Yup, there she goes, doing her generic angsty shit one after the other. Emotional whiplash glossed over for the sake of moving the plot along. She’s in such a bad mental state that we simply MUST ignore it and move on.

Also, I want to highlight how convenient it is for Shinsay to already have Andi suspect and previously coming to terms with how her parents don’t love her before this confrontation. Like, we see her father save her tearfully, yet Andi has almost no hope that he still loves her. Or, she does, but when it’s squashed, she just ... accepts it? Because hey, she already processed that trauma years before! Makes it easy!

Wouldn’t it make it more impactful if all these years, she’s hoped that she has a home to come back to? That her father’s final act of saving her meant they love her still and want her to come back? And now she finds out that they never even mourned her loss? Wouldn’t that be heart-wrenching? And also add to the idea that Andi wants to return to Arcardia, both because it’s her home planet but also because that’s where her parents are? Instead we’re led to believe Andi wants to return, but when she does, she hates it here, she knows nobody wants her here, and she wants to leave immediately.

I seriously question the inclusion of this subplot and these characters. It adds nothing, changes nothing, and is just there to make Andi more angsty, which she already is, so ... why is this here lmao?

Shinsay really went “let’s squander all our potentially interesting ideas and concepts for the sake of more cheap angst and making our protag a cool emotionless badass who don’t care for no thing.”

#eff reads: zenith

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growup-gloup · 4 years ago

Note

I don’t like being fake friendly, but I want a supportive friend group. Also every time I get an opportunity to talk to someone, I’m in panic mode and I often don’t say what I wanna say and remember what to say when it’s too late. My goal of making friends in college is starting to feel less like reality and more like a dream. when I do make conversation with someone, they don’t engage with me again. Idk what i’m doing wrong.

Hello there!

First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your troubles in making friends. Personally, I am the same way where it’s difficult for me to make friends because I can’t keep up a “fake friendly” front and need time to practice/prep what I wish to say to others.

You want a friend group that is supportive, presumably within your academics/career/personal life—a great place to find such individuals would be student organizations at your college! They’re groups of people who share one or multiple interests and you could hit it off with people who have the same goals as you. When you have a common interest, it’s much easier to talk and hold a conversation!

I understand that during this time, your options may be limited for socializing. However, many student organizations and universities have been shifting their focus to online student engagement—consider attending student org meetings via Zoom (camera on or off, up to you!) where you can still engage with others. Also, consider speaking to your peers in your classes (get their number or social media), they may not have many common interests at the surface, but if you start talking about one thing (your class) you can shift to other subjects and develop a friendship! You might even be lucky and find a peer that is ALSO in one of your student organizations!

Personally, I’ve made friends through the above avenues even though I have difficulty approaching first. It’s much easier to make friends when you share an interest/class because it gives you a starting point for a conversation. This is definitely a tough time for those who have been trying to develop meaningful relationships (platonic or otherwise), but you can definitely continue to try and find your “group” through the above.

Good luck!!

🥰

#socialize #relationships #Anonymous #AMA

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riveir · 4 years ago

Text

wishlist plots & aus.

i’ve been meaning to do this for a while but because i’m a person that really strongly prefers plotted interactions and also runs into problems with actually getting those more developed things going, i figured compiling wishlist stuff and stuff that comes from my own brain might be helpful. i’ll keep this linked in the pinned post if anyone ever wants to draw from it for a starter call or whatever, and to also make it easier for me to find if plotting ever hits a road block.

peace corps. this would technically fall under the umbrella of one of river’s canon au verses, the one in which he lives but is in the less realistic scenario where he rejects his parents’ wishes and goes ahead and joins the peace corps. this could be a really good way to get muses from two different canons / universes / etc. to meet, because the organization brings all these people together into one group sent to work somewhere overseas. river works as an english education teacher, and where they’re working can be totally open. could be used as mentioned before, but also as sort of a stepping stone for river to start a life beyond the states / open up opportunities for him that will take him away from home, etc etc. just a fun way to take him out of his usual settings and throw him in a new place under new circumstances, whether your muse is in the corps with him or if they’re just in the same place and they meet under different circumstances.

political dynasty. rather than holding a high position with goldman sachs, river’s father has an influential political position ( like a diplomat or foreign ambassador, which could explain river living years of his life at least somewhat abroad ), something that would put the family under a microscope on a national scale. could be a very kennedy-esque thing where politics is sort of just like the family business and river would be expected to carry that mantle as well ( which, obviously, he doesn’t really want ). this could go a number of different directions because the barkleys would be considered high profile individuals: bodyguard stuff, danger stuff, etc. i’m open to anything here, this would just be the groundwork to set up some conflict that would be more specific to your muse and their circumstances, since this is pretty adaptable on river’s end. i’d also be willing to write river older than i usually would ( as a younger adult ), because i think being nationally known would change his circumstances a bit and yada yada i can elaborate on that more if anyone asks, if we wanted to go the route where river himself is the political figure, probably a junior congressman or something. he could pretty controversial, as mental health advocacy and gun control would probably be two of his biggest agendas / two of the most important components of his platform.

modern royalty. similar to the above, but rather than coming from a political family, river comes from a monarchical family. obviously not based in the united states but could open up similar plotting opportunities as listed above. for one example he could still be attending a traditional university, and could open up opportunities for your muse to be a classmate of his ( as a friend sure but maybe there’s some benefit your muse could gain from making friends with him or something shadier like that ), or maybe you’re super annoyed that he’s there because like who cares about the royal family and why does he get so much attention, or maybe your muse knows he hates the attention and it gets to a point where he actually has to be fearful about it and there’s some way your muse can help him out.

fake dating. this is a jam of mine always. river could have several reasons of his own to be in a fake relationship, and this could work especially well in another au like the political dynasty or modern royalty scenarios, but it could totally come more from your muse’s end as well. it could also be a thing where river’s parents are trying to set him up with your muse if that would make sense, because that’s a very wasp-y rich people thing to do.

period aus. this one is super open but river could work really well for this type of thing, especially because his family is so old fashioned in a lot of ways and very traditional in how they expect their family to be and how they expect river to be and all that. also could work super well for this letter writing plot i have in my wishlist tag.

ghost!river. this would have to be plotted for sure because the way river’s “ghost” canonically manifests is as an extension of the other person; he exists to give them advice or as their moral compass/conscience or something like that. it can be different depending on the muse, but he manifests at their own will and serves some sort of purpose for them. he’s more of a guiding force of some sort rather than an actual ghost coming back to reveal new information or anything like that. he wouldn’t do anything that the other muse wouldn’t think he would do, and wouldn’t tell them anything they didn’t already know. the exception to his in river’s canon is when the protagonist has a near-death experience and sees river in the afterlife and they have an actual conversation as two separate entities, and that could definitely be something i’d be up for, too.

champagne problems. this song off of evermore has enormous river energy. from the genius description of the song: “’champagne problems’ tells the story of a woman who shocks her would-be fiancé and their loved ones by turning down a marriage proposal right before christmas ... the song depicts ‘longtime college sweethearts [who] had very different plans for the same night, one to end it and one who brought a ring.’ the song implies that the protagonist has a history of mental illness, which the town subsequently stigmatizes in their gossip surrounding the failed proposal.” river could be either of the people in the couple for obvious reasons ( either the wealthy person from the well-to-do family all expecting the proposal, or the person who breaks it off and is subsequently - or, maybe, already is - the subject of that gossip ). the circumstances of the breakup can vary depending on the specific relationship between the muses: maybe they were really in love and had a great relationship but the influential family just had too much influence and pressure, maybe the stigmatization and gossip was a bit too much, maybe neither of their hearts were really in it and it was just an advantageous thing that appeased the big family but the other person ultimately just decided they couldn’t go through with it. as i am with everything i’m totally open here. it also totally doesn’t have to match the exact circumstances and can just be based on the general idea. ( in the same vein, here’s a link to some cool folklore-based plots )

apocalyptic danger. or to be honest, any sort of scenario that creates a life or death (or near life or death) situation for one or both of our muses. in all honesty i just love raising the stakes.

musician or actor river. even though it’s not my favorite alternative path to explore for him to seriously pursue acting or music as a career, it could open up some potentially cool dynamics that i’d be down with. maybe river plays piano in a bar or restaurant or whatever at night during college and your muse loves open mic night. maybe they’re doing a show together in college or maybe even out of college if i think it would make sense that river could get to that point in life. maybe river’s actually achieving some level of success and has some degree of notoriety. idk this is just an option that could be cool if we develop it enough ( cause like i said, without that development and specificity to our muses i’m not as into this route for him specifically)

childhood best friends to lovers. ( or some variation ). self-explanatory, just my favorite trope. some wishlist stuff here.

wishlist post #1: “i just want a plot where it’s two rich kids who live in neighboring estates and their families always throw parties together and they have vacation homes in the same spots and their elite parents are too busy to notice when they sneak off to fuck in that second guest bathroom that no one uses or get high in the back library and makeout”

wishlist post #2: “give me a we broke up because i had to move away because of school and we knew we couldn’t do long distance but oh my god i’m home for christmas and you’re still beautiful and we’re wine drunk slow dancing to the sound of elf on the television and you smell like hot chocolate and i miss you so much please don’t let this end again plot !!!!!”

wishlist post #3: “someone give me “you live in the apartment across the hall and you’re so fucking hot but i get so awkward around you even though you act completely normal and i stutter every.time. you’re out of my league anyway but then one night my stupid roommate locks me out and i forget my key and you see me sitting the hallway so you invite me in. and obviously i say yes but holy crap what is happening” plot pretty pls”

wishlist post #4: “au where it's a blind date gone wrong/really awkward first time/two people who just get off on the wrong foot but keep on running into each other and then slowly fall for each other”

wishlist post #5: “give me best friends who harbor feelings for each other . they’ve acknowledged the feelings but they don’t do anything about it , because the friendship is too precious . and when one of them is finally ready to say “ fuck it, let’s take the risk ” , they see the other making out with another person”

i also always just want more college things and things in pre-established canon universe aus ( all linked in my pinned post, but including hogwarts, gossip girl, legacies, riverdale, etc ). i’m also always down for plotting ships.

#。 ·ﾟ ⎛ 𝘰𝘶𝘵 ⎠ wishlist.

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btxtreads · 5 years ago

Text

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji @qtsoobin @beomberry @txtdiaries and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: -

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

#tags #tagging #tagged yet again #sadjkjksdajad #what a mess #im so basic wtf

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zhuhongs · 5 years ago

Text

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented.

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader.

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced.

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever.

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel.

#text heavy #'like rlly fucking text heavy #tgcf #tgcf lb #and with that... the lb is over #i dont think i'll read the extra but who knows #also i reread this twice looking for missing words and typos so i HOPE its coherant #anyways if u read this.. bless u and feel free to ask me anything abt what i've said #i legit just finished it and i havent thought back on everything so im v willing to hear different standpoints

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epouvantes · 4 years ago

Text

❛ jeon jungkook, demiboyflux, he/they ❜ was that kim moonsik? the twenty-two year old freelance photographer has been in town since birth. the witch has a reputation for being disorganized & affectionate. you know they’re around when you get flashes of ( mismatched socks, taking buzzfeed quizzes into the dead of night, dancing when no one is watching & believing in signs ). rumor has it, they are a member of the high coven. { samu, est, 25, she/they }

( OOC: TW: ANXIETY MENTION AT THE END OF THIS PARAGRAPH. hi! i’m samu, i’m 25 and i use she/they pronouns! i’m so so so so so excited for this rp and for you all to meet my babies!!!!! i wanted to make this lil ooc section just to let y’all know that i’ll be posting longer and more detailed intro-like posts for my charas eventually, but i wanted to be able to give lil summaries and connection ideas before then so!!!!! there it is!!!!! thank u sm for reading!!!!! also if i ever message you to plot, which i’d like to do with everyone if my social anxiety allows it, pls don’t feel obligated to plot with me at all!!!!! i love connecting with other writers and stuff but i’ll completely understand if you’re not up to plot with me and my charas <33 ) ← this is the same ooc paragraph in all of my first three intros, so pls feel free to skip it! <3

brief introduction.

moonsik’s parents moved from ulsan, south korea, to blackthorne about eight years before the boy was born. he grew up in blackthorne along with his two older siblings (they’re fraternal twins a couple of years older than moonsik), and had a pretty comfortable childhood! however, his mother left the family when he was only five years old, and he’s never seen or talked to her since. the reasoning behind her departure is still a mystery to moonsik, and he’s definitely still confused/sad about it, but!! i won’t delve too much into that yet!! i’ll def write about it in my longer bio/intro thingy later on, though!!

his dad remarried, when moonsik was nine years old, to a woman who had lived in blackthorne all her life!! i’m not gonna develop the step-mother too much bc i’ll definitely send in some wanted connections soon (for her + moonsik’s dad, siblings and step-siblings! and maybe more?), but she actually has a really good relationship with moonsik!! he doesn’t see her as a mother tbh, but he really loves and respects her and!! even during his more rebellious phases in high school she was like the one (1) person in the family he always felt he could talk to!!

relationships with siblings and step-siblings are to be developed tm!! i’ll be sending in wanted connections for them soon as i said before so i might add a bit to it in there but tbh i’ll try to keep things vague so that they’re easier to fill!!

moonsik did NOT like school. like, at all. i think probably at least one of his siblings was like...... super strong academically, and it mayhaps played on moonsik’s confidence a bit to constantly see his sibling(s) get praised for their accomplishments?? and like..... his dad, siblings, step-mom and step-siblings have never put pressure on him?? he did so himself after seeing others succeed so much and wishing he could do so as well?? and don’t get me wrong; he’s skilled at plenty of things (especially visual arts)!! but having difficulties academically really did affect his self confidence :(

i said this was going to be short rip sdlfijsdlkfjsdlkfjsdklf i’M SO SORRY!!!!!

ok so!! outside of all the family stuff!! moonsik’s been exploring his gender identity for about three years now, and he finally feels like he has the right word/definition for it all!! demiboyflux is honestly a word he didn’t even know of until a couple of months ago, but as soon as he saw the definition for it (here’s a link to a simple definition!) he was so happy because it was him and it felt perfectly right??

he’s not exactly out to that many people concerning his gender identity bc as much as he loves who he is he just isn’t ever sure how to bring it up?? also, most of the time he’s fine with masculine nouns (boy, man, brother, son, boyfriend, husband, prince, etc.) AND he’s perfectly fine with both he and they as far as pronouns go, so...... he just doesn’t feel like it’s absolutely necessary for him to discuss it with EVERYONE, you know? but at the same time sometimes he kind of feels like just ranting and rambling and gushing about all of it, which is why he actually started an anonymous blog (eyes emoji tm) last month, and it’s been super helpful for him!!

he’s a freelance photographer rn, and he honestly really likes it!! however, since he’s not super well established yet (and doesn’t have an official diploma or anything like that - he quit university after two semesters), he isn’t making tons of money, and is therefore currently living with his dad and step-mother. it’s becoming a bit suffocating to him tbh?? and he’s highkey considering getting a part-time job too so that he can maybe make enough money to afford renting a lil apartment or room or something!!

super disorganized!! it’s probably one of the things he fights about the most with his family bc they kinda see his lack of organization as him being quite irresponsible (and they’re not completely wrong maybe, but still), and he’s never really done anything to change this part of him?? like, he’s always losing stuff, forgetting things behind, not remembering appointments, forgetting to send in important documents on time, never checking his voice mail and/or inbox, etc.

affectionate af!!!!! a sweetheart, tbh?? like, he’s kind of reserved so people tend to assume that he’s not the most friendly, but he’s actually rlly sweet!! he’s very openly affectionate with the people he’s close to, never hesitating to wrap himself around someone or plop down in someone’s lap or anything like that (though he is careful about who is and isn’t comfortable with that ofc! tbh in the past he didn’t take that into consideration all that much and he honestly feels really bad about it now, so he’s SUPER careful about other people’s boundaries now)!! also....... he will 110% deny it, but he LOVES attention. like he’ll wither away without attention i sdlfjslkdjfksldf

he’s bi and has known for a long time, and he’s actually been out as such since he was seventeen years old!

( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY ) he’s had two serious-ish relationships in his life so far, but outside of those he’s actually quite enjoyed doing more casual sexual things with people he finds attractive/interesting/etc!! he actually prefers fwbs to one night stands and i can DEF see that leading to some tension in the future with some of his friends.........

HE’S SO PROUD OF BEING A WITCH!!!!!! his entire family are witches (maybe not his step-mother and step-siblings, though? it’ll depend on whether or not they get taken up as wanted connections and, in the case they do, what the people playing them prefer!), and he’s so!!!!!! passionate about it!!!!! he hates learning in school and stuff but when it comes to learning about magic, especially healing magic, he’s so eager and passionate and !!!!!! he loves it :( idk if his father and siblings are in the high coven tbh but!!!!! he is definitely quite proud to be part of it!!!! also he’s probs definitely one of the most eye-roll-y judgemental ones when it comes to what he thinks of the bloodstone coven !! he deadass doesn’t get why they would practice the kind of magic they practice and he’s???? like he wouldn’t be straight up /rude/ to them without reason but he’s def not as friendly as usual around them i think (though ofc there might be exceptions!!)

connection ideas.

CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS: probably around 2 to 4 of those?? i’m picturing this lil group to have been thick as thieves since they were little kids (although maybe one or more of them joined their lil friend group later on in their childhood and/or teenage years?), and i just really want a group of super close friends who know each other better than the backs of their own hands and who may tease each other mercilessly but who still love and adore each other (no matter whether or not they actually say those words aloud dlffkjsdkjfsdlkjfsdlkf)!! age-wise i was thinking they could all be between 21 and 25 years old?? ( 00 / 02-04 )

EXES: as mentioned earlier, moonsik has been in two romantic relationships in the past that were somewhat serious? one of them was probably a high school relationship that last for like 14 months and ended just because they did not click well together AT ALL but had gotten into a relationship bc high school and stuff, you know?? (i think that ex would have probs identified as a cis woman back then - whether they still do or not is up to you - since they probs started dating before moonsik came out as bi?) and i feel like mayhaps recently they’ve gotten in touch again and actually click quite well as friends nowadays, although there are zero (0) romantic feelings between them anymore (just saying, but..... mlm/wlw solidarity is rad tm!! it’s not a necessity ofc but!! yes!!) NOW THE OTHER EX!!!!!!! i feel like this one would have been a bit more recent?? and probably with a man or masc presenting person?? since it’d be more recent, and the relationship would have been quite important to moonsik, i’d like not to add too much to it here and instead work it out with whoever may end up being interested in that connection? ( 00 / 02 )

EMPLOYER(S): people who’ve hired moonsik for his photography skills!!!! maybe also a future/eventual employer for when he ends up finally looking for a part-time job?? mayhaps they could be friends of some of moonsik’s family members?? oooooh what about someone who knew his mother?? (although ig that’ll be easier to work out when i 100% decide why she left dslfjksdkjfsdkljf) ( 00 / ?? )

FRIEND AND/OR ENEMY WITH BENEFITS: ( WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ACTS ) i’m thinking that moonsik probably doesn’t hook up with too many people at the same time unless he knows for sure that the other person doesn’t mind it? so the number for this connection will change depending on that!! also i reaaaaaaally love BOTH the idea of friends with benefits AND enemies with benefits since they can both bring in v interesting storylines!! also i’m not totally opposed to having moonsik hook up with his most recent ex (bc i love angst), but it’s definitely not a necessity! ( 00 / 01 )

DEALER: ( WARNING: DRUGS TW ) he did quite a few hard drugs in hs, which was 100% part of one of his rebellious phases, and although he doesn’t do anything too strong anymore, he does rlly like weed (prefers edibles to smoking tho bc no matter how often he does it he always coughs and it’s embarrassing!!!!!), and i’d love a connection with his dealer?? preferably one that’s kind of humorous?? ( 00 / 01 )

#blackthorneintro #general: introduction.#general: character development.#kim moonsik: all.#kim moonsik: intro.#kim moonsik: character development.

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crows-murder · 5 years ago

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ADHD Mac

oh yeah im doing this

there are two things im 100% about Angus MacGyver

1 he is a bi disaster

and 2 he has ADHD

before elementary school, no one really thought anything was out of the ordinary with Mac. his parents thought his hyperactivity and inability to focus well was normal for a toddler.

even if they got suspicious, Ellen got sick and she became a priority, not Mac’s odd behavior.

after Ellen MacGyver’s death, James couldn’t even look at his son, seeing his late wife in his blue eyes and blond hair, much less worry about his son’s attention problem that were increasingly frustrating the teachers.

Mac’s teachers in first grade aren’t too hard on him and his wandering attention and inability to sit still for too long since his mother had died recently.

they blame it on the trauma of losing a mother and dismiss it, though get more frustrated with Mac.

as early as second grade, Mac shows signs of having an exceptionally sharp mind, but his teachers are frustrated with him because he can’t seem to concentrate in class and struggles with his homework. Mac gets exceptional grades despite that.

his grades are so good the administration bumps him up two grades.

Mac starts fifth grade at 8, but it doesn’t get easier for him, or less frustrating.

he has occasional emotional outbursts, he’s always fidgeting, leaves a lot of tasks unfinished and has problems focusing. the other students find him weird on top of him having skipped two grades and he has no friends other than Bozer.

Mac works on his homework for hours, trying desperately to focus long enough to finish it, missing obvious details and getting reprimanded by the teachers.

his father becomes more secluded so Mac can’t ask him for help, and instead tries to force himself to study until his head hurts and the words swim around the paper like unintelligible squiggles.

Mac’s teachers complain about his poor organisation skills, unable to understand that this “mess” is Mac’s own version of organized.

Mac feels like no adult believes him when he says he can’t focus in class, that he couldn’t finish the homework, so he stops trying to convince them and instead takes it in.

he’s in sixth grade when his dad leaves for good, and it makes Mac’s already low self-esteem worse and wonders guiltily if James left because Mac struggled with simple tasks.

and so he works even harder, makes more efforts, tries harder.

it’s a real struggle that drives Mac’s frustration to tears many times, but it never feels like it’s enough. he still struggles working in group projects, he procrastinates, he loses track of time.

sometimes he can’t even physically bring himself to do his homework and ends up rushing it in the morning.

and of course, sometimes he gets lost in a personal project for hours on end without even realizing it.

Mac was always fidgeting, and started twisting up paperclips to keep his hands occupied and found that it helped focus his mind on the task ahead.

people thought he was distracted, but twisting paperclips meant that he was actually focusing much more easily.

as Mac grew older, he still couldn’t take criticism well. only Bozer really knew this, and even light criticism could make his low self-esteem plummet.

this paired with Mac being often bored and under-stimulated (mainly in school) made Mac’s school experience difficult.

he graduates at 16 and goes straight to MIT where things slightly get better, feeling like some of the stress of grade school finally leaving him and giving him more room to breathe.

when his grandfather's call came, Mac was 18 and finally felt like things were going right.

he went to join the Army, hoping his history of lack of focus won’t hinder him much.

in Afghanistan, Mac is (usually) able to put all his focus on the IED and forget the world around.

the other soldiers think he’s just a really good EOD tech who can ignore the gunfire surprisingly well, but it’s actually because oh his hyper-focused brain.

when he and Jack are discharged and hired by DXS, Mac starts to suffer from secondary depression.

he finally goes to see a doctor who gives him his diagnosis and prescribes him antidepressants and suggests he sees a mental health professional.

Mac does and he gets diagnosed with ADHD and his prescribed ADHD medication and his doctor even suggests seeing a therapist.

despite Mac's hatred for pills, he still takes his antidepressants, but refuses to take the ADHD meds, refusing to be dependent on pills for the rest of his life.

he manages to keep it a secret from everyone, even Bozer.

but Mac decides a therapist would be helpful, and so he schedules a meeting.

and then he keeps going, every week.

therapy helps.

a lot.

though he felt like he was back to square one, like in school, feeling under-performing, but only this time with mild depression.

his therapist explains that the depression was caused by his brain being constantly under-stimulated, and of course war didn’t help.

over the months, Mac slowly gets better and feels like he’s finally moving forward, and talking to someone about a mental issue he never knew he had really helped him.

he feels guilty not telling anyone, but he isn’t ready to tell them yet.

months later, Mac decides to tell Bozer and sits him down and explains to his best friend how he was recently diagnosed with ADHD (Bozer told him it explained a lot) and mild depression because of it

Bozer understood and respected Mac’s wish to keep it under wraps and tells him that if Mac needed anything, he could always (always) come to Bozer. Mac felt even more grateful for his best friend (I love their friendship oh wow--)

no one but Bozer knew for a long time.

it wasn’t even added to his file, so not even Patti (later Matty) or Oversight (screw him anyways) knew.

after fifteen months on antidepressants Mac’s therapist decides he could come off the medication.

the withdrawal is… rough

but Mac refused to take any days off (despite what his doctor said), lest he roused suspicion.

Mac just powered through the intense stomach cramps, sweating, shivering and nausea as best as he could.

Jack was suspicious, but Mac assured him it was just a stomach bug, and Jack let it be since he could see no physical wounds that could cause this.

Mac’s withdrawal lasted a little over three weeks, and Bozer was trying to be there for his best friend as best as he could.

Mac would sleep in fits, threw up every other night and couldn’t stand eating or even looking at anything salty or sweet

when Mac started to get better, looking and feeling more healthy, Bozer took him out to one of the best restaurants in LA as a way to celebrate and made Mac pancakes for breakfast all week.

Mac told him it was entirely unnecessary, but Bozer cut him off by telling him that if someone could beat depression, it was worth celebrating.

it effectively shut Mac up and made him wonder for the thousandth time how he was lucky enough to meet someone like Bozer.

for the whole week, Mac is in a much happier and brighter mood than he’d been in in a long time.

it took everyone by surprise and caused Jack to ask if he was okay. Mac had just smiled and said that he’d never been better.

Bozer was just glad to see Mac act the way he used to when they were still in grade school. he missed this version of Mac.

Matty being Matty found out bout Mac’s therapy sessions and his antidepressant prescription and ADHD diagnosis and asks him about it (more worried about his well-being than his performance in the field)

Mac apologizes for keeping it a secret but told her that he’d gotten off the antidepressants months ago (to Matty’s relief) and that the ADHD was nothing to worry about.

Mac knows that he won’t be able to keep his therapy sessions and ADHD a secret from everyone forever, but still doesn’t feel ready to tell anyone.

Mac told them one by one, all at different times

he told Jack first, who was concerned for his partner but couldn’t bring himself to be mad at Mac for keeping it to himself.

telling Riley and Cage took a while, but he finally got it out, and felt relieved that he didn’t have to keep it a secret anymore.

after season 3, when Mac gets reinstated, his first order of business is to schedule an appointment with a therapist (Nigerian villages, as it turned out, don’t have therapy clinics)

James MacGyver tries to be the dad he hasn’t been to Mac since he was five, but missed a lot and doesn’t believe his son’s claim to have ADHD.

it destabilizes Mac’s firm belief in the diagnosis and sends him spiraling

Matty is not happy.

you do not want Matty to not be happy with you

whether or not you’re her boss.

she and James have a heated discussion when James says he wants to remove Mac’s ADHD from his personal file.

let’s just say Mac’s mental health is something no one talks about unless they want to really go at it with James.

and Mac tells them to drop it. he doesn’t have to listen to his father’s opinions (as he is an adult himself) and doesn’t want anyone fired on his behalf.

idk if it’s just me really liking the idea of Mac seeing a therapist (boy needs it)

or just thinking that it would explain a lot about Mac (his habit of playing with paperclips, his hyper-focus, etc...)

but i like the idea of ADHD Mac.

also it would make a lot of sense idk

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chocoluckchipz · 6 years ago

Text

Dance with Me, Chaton - 9

Read it on A03, WattPad, FF.net

Written for @ladynoirjuly2019

< Previous

9. A Helping Hand.

The next day went didn't go any better despite Adrien sitting down to work only a few hours upon waking up. Much of what he'd read was confusing. Some information was plain conflicting. Other required prior knowledge Adrien didn't have. By twelve in the afternoon, he gave up and picked up his phone. There was only one way out now.

“Hey, bro. What’s up?”

“Nino, help.”

There was a chuckle on the other side. “Don’t tell me you finally decided to escape your tower, Princess.”

Adrien puffed. “Not yet, Nino. This is serious.”

Nino laughed. “Okay, okay. Stop pouting. What happened?”

“I need a hacker. And a good one, please.”

Nino whistled. “A hacker? For what?”

“Remote computer hacking.”

“And you’re calling me because?”

“I don’t know anyone else who can help me. At least not anyone I can trust not to spill it to my father.”

“Oh. This is getting interesting. Do I get the details?”

“Only after you help me, and as little as possible.”

“Alright. How soon do you need him?”

“Like yesterday?”

“Geez, dude. What’s going on?”

“Don’t ask. Find me someone. You said your girlfriend knows all kinds of people. She might know a good hacker, right?”

“She might. I’ll have to ask. Give me a few, bro.”

“Thank you, Nino.”

“Don’t thank me yet. Talk to you later.”

Five minutes went by. Nino wasn’t calling back. Ten. Fifteen. Adrien picked up his phone again and opened Discord to distract himself.

Chat Noir: Good morning, my Lady. How are you this lovely morning?

Ladybug: Sleepy. You?

Chat Noir: I’m purrfectly fine. Been out too late?

Ladybug: Yeah. Going to take it easy today.

Chat Noir: Maybe you should scale back on clubbing? Just a suggestion.

Ladybug: LOL Why? Did you worry about me?

Chat Noir: Maybe? I mean dancing is one thing, but drinking and drugs… it’s dangerous.

Ladybug: LMAO Chat, have you ever been to a club?

Chat Noir: No?

Ladybug: LOL Though so. Well, to make it easier for you: the club I’m going to is more like an exclusive elite establishment for dancing, not your down the road disco. The owner is very strict and doesn’t permit drugs. Alcohol is very limited, and the bartender won’t allow you to get drunk. That’s one of the reasons it’s invitation only - to keep the contingent as decent as possible.

Ladybug: Personally, I don’t drink. I dance. That’s why I’m sleepy. Just tired from all that movement. But it’s a great way to keep myself in shape, both physical and mental, with such a time, energy, and sanity-consuming job as I have.

Chat Noir: If you just imagined me looking like a lecturing idiot, you’re right. That’s exactly how I look right now.

Ladybug: LOL I imagined you dismayed and confused and a little naïve. Like a kid.

Chat Noir: If you’re imagining me pouting, you’re correct again. I’m not a kid? :offended:

Ladybug: LMAO I didn’t say you were, Chaton. It just feels that way. Like you still don’t know a lot of stuff and still have a ton to learn. Not intelligence-wise because you’re smart. More like street-wise? Idk how to explain OTL

Chat Noir: LOL I got it. And yeah, you can say that. I admit I am pretty clueless to a lot of things. Mostly because I've never been exposed to them.

Ladybug: You poor kitten. Should I educate you? Ask me stuff, and I’ll tell you all the secrets.

Chat Noir: I’d love nothing more, but I can’t. Not now at least. Guess what I’m working on?

Ladybug: Any success yet?

Chat Noir: OTL

Ladybug: LOL I believe in you Chat Noir.

His phone rang and seeing Nino’s number Adrien sent “Gtg. Ttyl” to Ladybug and picked up.

“Yo, dude! Who’s your man?”

“You got me a hacker?”

A woman’s laughter sounded in his phone. “Try again.”

“Is that Alya?”

Nino snickered. “Yup, and she’s your man. We have a world-class hacker for you.”

“I love you guys!”

“Not so fast, lover boy. He isn’t cheap, and an emergency call costs twice his regular prices.”

“Not an issue.”

“Alya wants to come.”

“I’ve got to meet her one way or another, and from what you’ve told me about her, hacking into my father’s work computer would be the perfect occasion.”

“You got it.” Nino chuckled. “We can be at your place in an hour. Sounds good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Order a pizza.”

“Already dialling the number.”

“Then I’m off,” Nino said and disconnected.

An hour later he, Alya, and their hacker knocked on Adrien’s door.

“What’s up, dude.” Nino high-fived Adrien and motioned to the woman beside him. “This is my Alya.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Adrien greeted Alya with customary cheek kisses. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m sure I’ve heard more about you.” Alya chuckled.

“I hope nothing bad.”

“Nope. Most of it was about how Nino wants to adopt you.”

Adrien laughed. “Yeah, he’s been trying to for ages, but alas I’m not an orphan.”

“With your father, yes, you are,” Nino scoffed. “He locked you in a gilded cage and left you to starve to death.”

“It isn’t so bad,” Adrien said. “As you see I’m far from dying.”

“Physical isn’t everything.” Nino poked Adrien’s chest with his finger and turned to the fourth person in the room. “But, dude, I’m glad you finally decided to rebel. This is Max, Alya’s former classmate and for today, your hacker.”

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Max straightened and offered Adrien his hand in greeting.

“Call me Adrien,” Adrien smiled, shaking Max’s hand.

“What are we hacking for?” Alya asked, settling on a coach in the living room.

“My father’s unreleased collection.” Adrien motioned for everyone to follow Alya and settle in the living room. “Tell me what you need, Max, and I leave the rest to you.”

Without delay, Max set up his equipment on the dining table and asked Adrien a few questions. After that followed hours of trial and error, takeout food and video games, joking around and snoozing on couches. Closer to the evening Max smirked, “I’m in. We have about ten minutes before we get detected, so why don’t you come here and tell me what you need, Adrien.”

As lighting, Adrien appeared by Max’s side. They quickly located the collection file and copied it onto Max’s computer. Five minutes later it was stored on two USB sticks, one for Ladybug, one as a backup for Adrien.

“Your father’s security system is one of the best in the world,” Max commented closing up. “I haven’t had such a challenge in years.”

“Fashion industry is very competitive.” Adrien shrugged. “He has to do all he can to safeguard his designs before the show.”

Max nodded. “I have to run now. I’ll send you my bill by email.”

“I’d better pay in person, if I may,” Adrien said. “Don’t want him to have any traces leading to me.”

“Sure. I stop by next week.”

“Works for me. Thanks for a helping hand, Max.”

“My pleasure.”

As soon as Alya left to show Max out, Nino, lounging on a coach, asked, “So, are you going to tell us why do you need this collection?”

“I’m not sure it’ll work yet,” Adrien smirked. “But I may have found a way to get out of taking a job at Gabriel for a few years.”

“Dude.” Nino grinned, sitting up. “You’ve grown so much. I’m so proud.”

“Don’t cry yet.” Adrien chuckled. “We’ll see first if it works.”

“It will,” Nino said. “You’ve earned some freedom from that freak. No offence, but you know I’m right.”

“I won’t quote you on that when asked.”

“I appreciate it.” Nino took a can of Cola, cracked it open, and toasted it to Adrien. “To your freedom, bro. You’ve earned it.”

“Thanks, Nino,” Adrien said, looking at two USB sticks in his hands. There was no way of going back now. It was forward only. He only hoped none of this would backfire.

***

Chat Noir: My Lady, I have the goods.

Ladybug: !!!!!

Ladybug: You kidding me?

Chat Noir: I kid you not. I have everything you ever wanted.

Ladybug: How? Not to be rude, but I didn’t actually believe it was possible.

Chat Noir: Are you saying you agreed to this only because you were certain I wouldn’t succeed, and so there was no risk in agreeing because you wouldn’t have to do anything because it was impossible for me to get the files?

Ladybug: That… was a very viable possibility.

Chat Noir: So, you’re backing out? After I’ve already dirtied my paws? OTL Cruel.

Ladybug: Did you kill anyone for this?

Chat Noir: :offended: :pout: Is that what you think of me?

Ladybug: LOL Sorry. I’m just shocked you were able to do this. That’s all.

Chat Noir: I am awesome. I know. :handsome: So are you still in?

Ladybug: I have to. You did your part, how can I back away now?

Chat Noir: :finger guns: I've put everything on a USB stick. How do I pass it to you?

Ladybug: Give me a few to think.

Chat Noir: Sure. I’ll be here meanwhile, basking in my awesomeness.

Chat Noir: Still basking.

Chat Noir: Still amazing… fifteen minutes later.

Chat Noir: :pout: Are you backing away? I mean you can if you want, but can you tell me if you do? Because it’s been like half an hour and I’m a little worried.

Ladybug: Chaton. I’m so sorry. I had to organize a way for us to meet without revealing our identities.

Chat Noir: OTL :dead: :resurrected: Please, warn me next time.

Ladybug: Will do. Now, do you remember the club I told you about?

Chat Noir: The exclusive club for rich and famous? Yeah, I do.

Ladybug: LOL I wish. Anyway, you can bring the USB there.

Chat Noir: With all due respect, my Lady. I’m not leaving it to a third party. I’d be dead if Hawkmoth finds out.

Ladybug: You’ll be giving it to me.

Chat Noir: Won’t we see each other identity if I do?

Ladybug: No. Not there. One feature of this club is that everyone dresses up as their alter identities. I'm Ladybug, so I dress like one. You can dress up as Chat Noir. Paint a mask on your face. I won’t come close. I’ll send one of my friends. Probably Viperion. You pass the USB to him and he’ll give it to me right away. You can stay and see the exchange.

Chat Noir: You do realize I have to trust you like a LOT to do that.

Ladybug: We can always stop and forget this ever happened.

Chat Noir: I think I’m a little too deep in this already to back up now.

Ladybug: Are you sure?

Chat Noir: Absolutely. Give me the address.

Ladybug: Alright. The name is Kwami Kave. 14 Zagstruc Ave. The stairs behind the main door will lead downstairs. That’s normal. Just go down. You won’t get lost after that. Come at around nine today. See you soon, Chaton.

Chat Noir: See you soon, my Lady.

_______________________________________________________________________

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#ladynoirjuly2019 #ladynoir #miraculous

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spirit-of-the-void · 6 years ago

Text

Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter 12

Author’s notes: What is a timeline and an upload schedule? Cause idk lol Thanks for the love and support lovelies <3 Psst...think you’re gonna like Chapter 13

Chapter 12

What the hell were you supposed to do with yourself?

Nero was leading the way back through the subway. The area was completely clean and clear of demons, scorch marks and bullet holes telling a very violent story. You found yourself quiet, unable to think of anything to say while your mind raced the way it did. Completely done in by a little hint of romance. V seemed completely unfazed, his usual confident self as you both followed behind the demon hunter. He hadn’t let Griffon and Shadow back out yet, which you appreciated. You couldn’t imagine how you looked at that moment, but Griffon was definitely smart enough to tell when you were flustered. How dare V be so composed and calm after shaking up your world like that? Very unfair.

You wanted to make it fair.

So you tasked yourself with finding a similar composure. Counting breaths, tapping your fingers on you thigh, biting the inside of your cheek. You thought you saw V steal a few glances at you from under his black hair, but you couldn’t be sure. You were so frustrated. You felt teased, so unbelievably teased. But in a way...maybe this was best--had you kissed him, you don’t know how you two would have acted afterwards. Even this close space contact was just so hard. Was it just simple lust? You doubted that, at least on your part. You could never feel attraction without at least some emotion attached to it.

You kept close to the poet, wondering just how you could get him flustered--probably would have been easier alone. You glanced forward at the demon hunter, who was keeping a close eye on your surroundings. Unlike you.

Nero, for the most part, was completely oblivious--at least to your knowledge. He was flexing his metal arm, flicking blood from in between the gears and fingertips. You noticed he had switched between several different types of arms, this one a little more stream-lined. All made by Nico of course. It was pretty apparent that you didn’t know much about the demon-hunter either, which was kind of upsetting considering how much you enjoyed his company as well. He was a closed book too. Minus the knowledge of him having a fiance named Kyrie, whom he loves and adores. You definitely hoped you could meet her someday as well, you couldn’t imagine what kind of woman she could be to date someone like Nero.

Trying to distract yourself, you cleared your throat.

“So what’s your story, Nero?” You asked, quickening your step a bit to catch up with him. You made sure to give V’s arm a light squeeze when you passed, not looking at his face, “What lead you to a life of fighting demons?”

Nero glanced at you, raising a grey-tinted brow at your question.

“What brought that on?” He asked.

You shrugged, clasping your hands behind your back as you replied, “Genuine curiosity. Realized I don’t know jack shit about a lot of you guys.”

Nero gave a short laugh, rolling his shoulders a bit, “Fair enough. It’s a long story though.”

“If you haven’t noticed,” You smiled lightly, staring at the subway stretching before you, “We’ve got time. Bet V is aching to know your backstory.”

“Mmm.” V hummed, stepping up beside you suddenly and brushing your leg with his cane. You tried not to show how much it affected you. You met his sidelong glance with a smile, resisting the urge to touch his face with you hands--you needed to play nice for now, you weren’t going to force Nero to third wheel. Besides, you had asked the white haired boy a question and you were determined to focus on his answer.

Nero let out a low huff, making a face as he thought over your words, deciding how to answer.

“Have you ever heard of the Order of the Sword?” He asked you, turning his blue eyes back to your face.

Your expression blanked in confusion, “Uh...no.”

“Hooo boy. Settle in then, there’s a lot to unpack.”

You talked as you walked, Nero breaking down a lengthy explanation of the Order of the Sword and everything that had happened to him. About the attack on Fortuna, where he first met Dante. You listened with interest, enjoying learning about the world you were living in and all it entailed. According to the white haired boy, the Order of the Sword was secretly becoming demons and doing naughty things in a search for power, which was pretty typical. Demons had attacked Fortuna, and Nero pretty much learned how to fight them while there. A lot had happened--he apparently fought Dante when they first met, but both worked together to stop the attack and stop the Order. Kyrie was saved, the city a bit messed up afterwards but the rebuilding time had been fast.

He also talked wistfully of his life without parents, growing up in an orphanage where he met Credo and Kyrie. Their parents ran the place, and they were very kind to him growing up. You ached for him--growing up without blood family had to be hard, and judging by the bitter edge to his voice it was a stinging wound. But he spoke fondly of the people he did have, telling you about Credo’s death and how Kyrie had been saved. Christ, the boy had been through a lot. Growing up with a strange arm, fighting this order, then recently losing that arm to a mysterious man. Apparently a sword called “Yamato” was inside of it, and now it was gone. Your head was spinning by the time he was done, and you could hardly comprehend all of it.

V was strangely quiet throughout it all, eyes forward and head tilted as he too listened to Nero’s backstory. You couldn’t read the expression he wore there, but he did seem intrigued.

“So let me get this straight,” You said after he relayed some more information, tapping your nails on your chin, “Nico’s father was a part of this organization, but he was an insane, deadbeat asshole?”

“That’s right.” Nero replied, jaw tightening as he remembered the man he described to you.

“And Dante killed him?” Everything was becoming a bit convoluted. Nero had fought her father at some point, which is how he had acquired the Yamato. But Dante...he was the one who later landed the killing blow, destroying the now-demonized father of Nico. According to Nero, the mechanic hated her father anyway, and wasn’t bothered by the fact that Dante was the one to finished him off. Which you could understand.

“Right again.” Nero inclined his head, putting his hands behind his head and stretching a bit.

Wow. That was definitely a lot to take in

“Nero,” You commented after his lengthy explanation, shaking your head a couple times, “If you ever need like...a hug? I will gladly provide.”

He smirked lightly, sticking his hands in his pockets as he tilted his body in your direction, “Gee, I’m touched,” He rolled his eyes a bit, seeming amused, “Don’t worry about me. I think I’m fine without hugs for now. Not the hugging type.”

You chuckled, clasping your hands behind your back again, “Still, thank you for telling me. If feel like we’ve all learned a lot of important things about you.” Nero’s life really made sense, all that bravado and energy came as a direct result of his very existence. You wished he had lived a better life, with parents who cared, but he turned out okay for the most part. Probably due to Kyrie, the woman you were now very eager to meet.

Regardless, you and your group neared another set of stairs. You immediately saw a payphone resting on a nearby wall, just aching to be used. Nero had gone through a few arms, so you weren’t shocked when the demon hunter made his way over, coin in hand. You personally were just happy to check on the mechanic. The daggers were serving you very well, picking up the slack of your energy and making for some very interesting fights. You pulled one out to examine it a bit, facing the payphone as Nero dialed the mechanic. V took up place by the wall, pulling out his poetry book and quietly reading the pages--you had no doubts he already had them memorized. You eyed him a bit while he was distracted, chest squeezing at the way those long fingers flipped the pages so delicately.

His jade eyes slid up, easily catching you in your staring. You blinked, too stubborn to look away. A challenge of sorts. You met his gaze, smiling brightly and tilting your head at the book. He offered a wry smirk in return, holding the book down a little lower so you could get a better look at them. Well, at least he wasn’t secretive about it. You looked over the beautiful cursive, the bright illustrations only slightly faded with time. You wanted to ask him where he got the book, but were unsure if he would answer for whatever reason.

“Hey, I’ve got a job for you.” Nero said on the phone to the mechanic, making both you and V turn.

You didn’t even have time to react--V suddenly grabbed you, pulling you roughly against him when the wall next to you shattered. Nico’s van came within inches of hitting you, practically grazing Nero’s asscheeks as you squeaked, tucked against the poet. Jesus Christ, how the hell had she managed to get into the fucking subway?! You blinked, turning with the two males to stare incredulously at the driver of the van that almost hit you. She had straight up came busting through the wall, not a scratch on the van but rubble from the concrete sliding off her roof and clattering to the floor. You did not appreciate the free heart attack, the theatrics completely outrageous.

Nico opened the window, still holding the phone and smirking a bit as she met your gazes.

“What do y’all need?” She said innocently, hanging up the phone and blowing a cloud of cigarette smoke.

Nero clicked his tongue, simply walking around to the van door and going in. You were still frozen in place, V’s arms sliding from your form, poet taking a step to the slide now the Nico’s searching gaze was on you both. You tried to ignore how his fingertips lingered on your lower back, tracing a gentle line along your spine. Focus. You needed to focus.

“Hey Nico?” You asked, voice acceptably breathless after almost getting hit by a van, “Do you take criticism on your driving yet?”

“Nope,” She replied, giving an only slightly apologetic smile, “Why? Ya got some complaints?”

You sighed lightly, walking over to lean on the side of the van and stare imploringly at her.

“Please,” You stage-whispered, eyes so very tired, “Stop trying to hit us with the van.”

She let out a light laugh at that, reaching out to pat your head. Her hand was a little stained with oil, but you still didn’t pull away. A smile curved your lips, making a face when a bit of tobacco scented smoke met you.

“In my defense, wasn’t trying to hit you,” Nico replied, tapping her fingers on the window’s edge, “Nero? Maybe.”

“I heard that!” The demon hunter shouted from inside the van, sounding appropriately annoyed.

You laughed, pushing off from the vehicle and brushing off some of the dust from the incident. V’s gentle hand suddenly reached out, stroking your shoulders and upper back. You blinked, looking over at him, seeing him wince a bit as the action set up a cloud of more dust. You fought a giggle, but it still slipped out. He was covered in a layer of his own, the stuff looking like snow on his all black clothing. You turned, grabbing him by the sides of his head so you could tug him down. He seemed startled, letting out a light grunt as you ruffled his locks, coughing lightly when a bunch of dust left him. Damn, maybe another shower later was a good idea. You gave him an apologetic look when he lifted his head, seeming absolutely exasperated with the whole situation.

You shared a long look with him, that needy little voice screaming at the back of your head. You tried to ignore it.

“Maybe wearing all black wasn’t the smartest idea,” You told him,shaking your head at all the white and grey powder on his form, “It’s very noticeable.”

He smirked, lifting his book and shaking it a bit.

“I wasn’t anticipating Nico’s...creative methods of travel,” He replied, eyeing the van with a bit of foreboding, “One would suppose I should keep it in mind for next time.”

You giggled again, leaning against the wall next to him. You couldn’t imagine him in anything other than black clothing. An image of him in brighter colors couldn’t form in your brain, but you were sure some domestic clothes would look very good on him. A nice suit and tie, some sweatpants, a tank top. Ahh, there went your imagination. You banished such thoughts before they could fully form, keeping that smile on your face and trying not to show what a misbehaving thinker you were. V’s eyes were still on your face after all. And Nico’s, you just realized. She had watched the whole exchange, eyes narrowed and lips blowing a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. You met her probing looks, giving her an expression that implored her not to say anything.

Almost on cue, Griffon materialized from V’s tattoos, gusting wings sending all the dust flying from your forms. You coughed, holding out an arm so the bird could land, moving his way to your shoulders. Shadow materialized too, weaving between your feet and the poet’s as they let out a low growl. You were both relieved to see them and disappointed. On one hand, you loved them both dearly and enjoyed their company so much, on the other...No more alone time with the poet. You were so limited with what you could do with Griffon there, despite the bird swearing to being your wingman. He was eyeing you both closely, head tilted and golden eyes glinting with curiosity. Oh yeah, he could sense something was up.

“What the fuck just happened?” He squawked, fixated on the shattered wall and settling dust, “You bastards are filthy. I leave for what, ten minutes, and you both have a quick roll in the dirt?”

You rolled your eyes, gripping his talons as you replied, “No, just more of Nico’s property damage.”

Nico let out a snort at that, smothering her cigarette in a nearby ashtray upon finishing it off.

“Not like the place isn’t trashed anyway,” She stated, shrugging her shoulders, “Besides, we’re doin’ a service to the public by goin’ after Urizen, gotta make it to y’all as fast as possible.”

She had a point in there somewhere. But you got the feeling that she, too, had a flare for the over-dramatic.

The mechanic turned back into the van upon hearing Nero’s voice, probably to help the boy with his metal arms. You looked down when Shadow sat at your feet, mighty head resting against your leg and eyes staring at you expectantly. You were so very weak for this cat, they had your heart in those precious paws. Meat was immediately created, given to both the familiars. They had been working hard all day, fighting and working to help you and the poet. If you had enough strength, there were so many abilities of the Void you could use and utilize to help them. At your peak of power, you could summon things from the darkness to distract enemies, take on a shadow-like form and teleport. You hadn’t done that in a very, very long time. It took a long time of training and non-stop missions to reach point, and even then...you still died fighting with all that strength.

The thought made a twinge of pain pass through your head, hand instinctively coming up to rest on your temple. That certainly wasn’t pleasant.

“Are you alright?” V immediately noticed, taking a step closer to you. There was concern in his gaze, those full lips tilted into a frown.

You smiled, closing one eye as you addressed him, “I’m okay,” Not a lie, you technically were alright, “Just the hangover still knocking on my head a bit.” More...of a lie.

“Almost like drinking was a bad idea,” Griffon huffed, snapping his beak by your ear and making you wince, “Got any regrets yet, girlie?”

You beamed, patting the side of his beak, “Nope.”

He snickered at that, making you laugh too. V smiled ruefully, leaning his cane on the wall and crossing his arms. The lazy posture and that gaze reminded you of a jaguar eyeing something to eat. Which was funny, considering Shadow--a big black cat itself--was sitting on your feet making lovey-eyes at you. You made sure to give them all the pats, focus bouncing all over the place. You wanted to focus on V, but Christ, you were gonna sweat. You had to practice some self control, some form of restraint. It was becoming very hard, which was bad considering now Griffon and Shadow were back--you hoped to god Nero hadn’t noticed the tension yet, which seemed likely considering how battle-focused he was. You appreciated that heavily, he also wasn’t the type to say anything either.

Speaking of, he finally exited the van, sporting some brand new devil breakers on his belt. You looked away from the poet, taking a deep breath as you met Nero’s focused eyes.

“Ready to go?” He asked, eyeing the group now that the demons were back, “Oh hey, the chicken came back!”

Griffon puffed up his feathers, narrowing his gaze at the demon hunter as he replied, “Eat shit and die, brat.”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as you chided, “Can you ladies stop bickering for a few minutes at least?”

Nero, much to your shock, laughed. He turned his back, starting up the stairs with a passing wave at Nico as she took up a spot in the van window again. You did the same, walking in step with V as you blew another kiss to the mechanic. It was time to set off again, unfortunately, but you didn’t mind. But your foresight was already tickling the back of your mind, warnings prickling up even as you finally exited the subway. Blessedly. It was cloudy outside now, but the breeze was nice as it blew over your group, ascending up the subway stairs into a completely obliterated part of the city. This place got hit bad, buildings upturned and absolute chaos all around you. The closer you got to the tree, the worse the damage was; it looked like the apocalypse, absolutely trashed and not a human in sight. Only silence prevailed, dark and eerie and sending chills up your spine.

V came up next to you, looking at all the damage with a strange expression. In fact, there was no emotion on his face, no smile, no anger. But you thought you saw his jaw clench a bit, hand gripping the top of his cane ever so tighter. The destruction bothered him a lot, almost to the point of guilt. You could tell that pretty well of him. Something about the look in his eyes made you reach a hand down and gently squeeze his wrist--a reminder of your support. Sure enough, you could feel his pulse racing, outside not reflecting the obvious turmoil within. You were getting better at reading his emotions, and that pleased you quite a bit.

The poet flickered his gaze to you at the feeling of your hand, clenched jaw relaxing ever so slightly. He slid his hand down into yours, giving it the lightest of squeezes with those delicate fingers of his. You tried not to feel flustered, but your heart was pounding away in your chest with that dumb excitement you always felt. V looked so composed, so calm and collected--that wasn’t fair, was it? You wanted to do something he didn’t expect, wanted him flustered too, but you had no idea what would cause that short of grabbing his ass. Which you would not be doing. Instead, you waited until Nero walked forward, Griffon launching from your shoulders with a low chortle as he flew on ahead to scout a bit. Before V could pull away from you, you pulled his hand up to your lips.

You brushed your lips over his knuckles, making his eyes dart back over to you with a startled expression. You smiled softly, meeting his gaze unflinchingly as you gently kissed his hand. You wanted to distract him from the pain, the guilt, the bad feelings. He swallowed visibly, unfurling his fingers in your grasp slightly as time seemed to stop for you both. His hands truly were beautiful, you couldn’t help it. Mesmerizing, elegant. You kissed his index finger, surprised when he was responsive to that. Much to your absolute delight, that was what triggered a flustered reaction from the poet. You saw his cheeks flush a bit, breath catching with shock a second before his eyes darted to the side, unable to look at you. He put his other hand to his mouth, fingers twitching a bit when you let out a surprised gasp. You were sure he felt your breath on his fingertips.

“You’re blushing…!” You breathed, eyes alight with delight as he tried to look away more, “That’s so cute…!”

“...Y/N.” His tone was mumbled around his hand, his fingers curled back around yours as he started forward, tugging you along before Nero noticed you lagging behind.

You were still beaming, absolute evil coursing through you now. Like you knew his weakness.

“Do you like it when I touch your hands…?” You whispered to him, bumping his shoulder with your own, “Come on, V. A little honesty won’t hurt.”

He said nothing, jaw twitching a bit as he continued forward, hand still over his mouth. Griffon flew back, blinking in shock when he saw V’s face, and you giggling like an idiot. He landed on V’s shoulders this time, an incredulous look in his eyes when the poet shook him off.

“What the fresh fuck did you do, Y/N?” The bird asked in shock, landing on you and shaking out his feathers, “Did you give him a quick blow job while I wasn’t looking? I’ve never seen him look that flustered.”

“Griffon.” V’s tone was low, full of warning, as he pointed his cane at the bird.

He held up his wings defensively, letting out an alarmed squawk now that he was on the sharp end of V’s weapon.

“Cool it, Shakespeare!” He exclaimed, narrowing his eyes and wearing that expression of mirth, “Just stating simple facts. Searching for answers. Sleuthing.”

You smiled innocently, still enjoying the look on V’s face. He was very embarrassed, which made a part of you feel bad. But that other part that had been cock teased by the poet all day was downright gleeful, triumphant even. You squeezed his fingers again, sliding your thumb over his palm gently. You had held his hand before, sure, but not like this. Fingers entwined, squeezing his digits--that was all pretty simple. Now you were trying to get a rise out of him, trailing your nail gently over his soft skin and gauging his reactions. He immediately jolted again, jerking you closer to him and making you release a surprised squeak.

He put his lips to your ear, saying in a breathy hiss, “If you can’t behave yourself, little sparrow,” His breath felt very hot, lips brushing you just enough to make your own face feel warm--not that the implications in his tone weren’t enough, ”You’re going to make me do something that will get us both in trouble with Nero.”

Thank nickname...it made your heart speed up considerably.

You shivered again, not caring if Griffon saw at this point--because the bird was definitely watching, like you two were some juicy soap opera. The jig was up, he was already well aware of your shenanigans and lust by that point. You and the poet were now pushing each other, bit by bit, in a contest to see who caved first. And you now had a fun card up your sleeve, knowing that he liked when you touched his hands was so much fun. You never noticed it before, because before you hadn’t been looking, things hadn’t been this charged. You felt incredibly bold now, oh so eager to see just how far you could tempt him. But he was right--Nero was still here, oblivious to your exchange, that or he was politely not acknowledging it.

Still, you smiled softly, letting go of V’s hand and blowing him a small kiss. You skipped forward to catch up with Nero, leaving the poet to contain himself a bit and get his bearings. In the meantime, you looked at your surroundings, taking in what seemed to be a destroyed opera house in the near distance. It looked like it was beautiful once, ornate, with carved gold on their pillars and beautiful hand painted art pieces. It was a shame, really--it seemed like this city had a lot of wonder to it before the whole incident, stories to tell and memories to be made.

“I bet it was beautiful here before,” You commented to Nero quietly, walking step by step with him. Concern was in your gaze, mixed with a hint of regret, “Wish I could have seen it.”

Nero grunted quietly in agreement, resting his blue eyes on you.

“Never been to Redgrave before?” He asked.

You shook your head, running your attention around the disaster again, “No. Not exactly from this area,” Not exactly from this dimension, more like, “I was...traveling here to see it when the calamity happened.”

Griffon flew up behind you, landing on your shoulders as you walked. You could see his gaze on you, a knowing look in those eyes as he more than likely recalled everything you spilled during your drinking frenzy. He knew damn well now that you hadn’t been here long before that, and that you had done no such traveling. But he, luckily, kept his mouth shut, starting to preen his feathers with a low sigh only you could hear. You appreciated his discretion.

“Damn shame,” Nero said with a low sigh, slowing as you approached the opera house’s remains. He pointed at it, a small smile passing over his space as he added, “My girl sang there once...Kyrie’s voice it beautiful, you would have loved it.”

The affection in his voice, that obvious adoration…every time he mentioned Kyrie, he went adorably soft.

You gave a soft smile, giggling a bit. Nero was a big, bad demon hunter. All rough and tumble, taunting and powerful in the face of battle. It was so interesting to see him settle down a bit, his expression losing that edge, taking on that remembering look as he thought of the person he loved. It was so precious, wholesome even. You didn’t even know Kyrie, but you were already damn well prepared to put yourself in harms way to preserve whatever it was they had.

Nero blinked at you when you still didn’t reply, raising his brow as he asked, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” You shook your head, giving him a sidelong smile, “It’s just cute. Seeing people who are as much in love as you is a rare treat, Nero. Don’t ever change that.”

He seemed surprised by your words, but you only got the back end of his expression as you turned to check on V again. The poet was catching up, skin tone normal and eyes meeting yours with that familiar, reserved smirk. Ohhh, someone had found his composure again--and much to V’s luck, since Nero was paying attention now, no more hand holding. Which meant you would be forced to behave.

You reasoned that this was a good thing--Your foresight was slowly growing louder, alerting you of some big, bad enemies up ahead. You snapped your fingers to get Nero’s attention once more, both men turning to look at you as you pointed at the ruins of the opera.

“Something is waiting for us,” You warned, summoning some tendrils just as a precaution, “So be ready, we’re going to have a fight on our hands.”

Nero simply smirked, cracking the knuckles on his left hand and starting forward with confidence. You sighed--well, at least you had tried to warn him. V seemed to sense your exasperation, giving you a wry smirk and squeezing your shoulder as he followed the eager demon hunter, signalling that you should too. That was probably the most wise course of action. Shadow materialized in front of your group, Griffon perching in his favorite spot on your shoulders. Both seemed ready for battle, Shadow’s pelt rippling and glowing marks traveling over the black surface of their body. Griffon was charged up too, the sensation of his energy crackling in your ear a bit. You didn’t mind at all.

You heard V let out a low hum, leaning over to whisper in your ear.

“Be on your toes,” His voice was a low purr, “And if you feel close to exerting, take shelter nearby. Griffon will know to grab you.”

You hesitated, hating the idea of leaving him behind in danger to save yourself. You also hated the idea of Griffon prioritizing you over him.

But still, you nodded.

V was not convinced, stopping you from following Nero and adding, “Swear to me, Y/N. No invocations, you prioritize yourself.”

“...Promise.” You mumbled, hating how it felt to do so. Choosing yourself over others felt so wrong, but you couldn’t argue with him when he used a tone like that. Those jade eyes fixed on your own gaze, lips parted and hand touching your cheek. You couldn’t deny him.

Your answer made that wry, cocky smile appear. As if he knew the effect he had over you. He turned away, letting his hand drop as he turned to follow Nero into the abandoned opera house. Fuck, you had a weird feeling about this, but what else could you do? Your foresight was signalling a much stronger enemy, but there was no convincing Nero not to rush headfirst into a fight. You followed behind V, summoning your tendrils as you all stepped over the threshold into the abandoned building. You had to climb over a pile of rubble, landing in what looked to be the main theater, or at least what was left of it.

The box seats were still somehow standing on high walls, mere inches from toppling over.It was beautiful at a time, the floor made of carved, intricate stone and ornate seating tossed here and there. It seemed clear of enemies, but you knew better. Always knew better. Something was here, waiting for anyone to pass through and attack. The area, luckily, had plenty of areas for you to attach your tendrils to, making for safe movement based fighting for you. You could pepper down attacks at random to whatever appeared, using your daggers to hit and Void powers to fly away when needed. Now it was only a matter of what breed of nasty would appear to your cue.

Right on time.

Almost sensing your thoughts, something big and mean looking hopped down from a high ledge, landing in front of your group. All three of you stopped, staring at this creature with varying expressions. It was humanoid in appearance, but most certainly a demon. Long, red glowing horns extended from a head without eyes, yet you knew it was staring at you. It looked like it was wearing armor, definitely a hefty sword-wielding demon man. The inside of its mouth was glowing blue, face expressionless as it face your group--he was certainly an intimidating looking creature, but nothing your group couldn’t handle, right? At least so you thought. Before you could open your mouth, four more came walking out on either side of the intimidating creature, only these had blue horns and looked lower level than the main baddie. They were wielding shields as well as swords, which was a bit of a concern in your opinion.

You glanced at Nero, and as expected he wore that cocky, battle-eager grin. He didn’t seemed bothered at all. You tilted your gaze to the poet, expecting him to be wearing that same swarmy, half smile you so adored. Ready to toss out a poetry quote, right? At least so you thought. The expression he wore...was not one you expected.

He looked…angry.

Several emotions shifted across his face, varying in intensity as you desperately tried to get a read on him. You were sure you saw realization, then discomfort, fear, and then settling on a quiet rage you had never seen on his face before. And...familiarity. You couldn’t place it, nor understand it. You simply stared in shock, unable to speak as he stepped up beside Nero, grabbing his cane with one hand and pressing the other to his temple. You exchanged a look with Griffon, seeing that same knowing look in his eyes as he met your gaze. He shook his head at you, letting out a low, nervous trill as he launched from your shoulders and circled overhead.

“Ohhoo, nice,” Nero laughed, gesturing between all the creatures casually, like they were old friends, “Gettin’ the band back together, huh?”

You worriedly glanced at V, a chill going up your spine as he spoke. One of both fear, and extreme intrigue. Seeing him mad was both alarming and exciting.

“What evil lurks…” He said in a low growl, lifting his eyes up to the demons, “I must destroy.”

Nero let out a low snort, pulling out his gun and smirking at the creatures.

“Thought that was the plan all along…!”

You opened your mouth to reply to them both, but the whole building lurched. You fell forward with an alarmed cry, catching yourself on one hand and knee as everything started shaking. The entire structure began to move and tremble, sliding forward with you and everyone else on it. You jerked your head to look behind you, seeing the opera stage detach from the building and leaving it in the distance, moving fast down an incline and still somehow staying in one piece. Completely absurd, absolutely insane. Wind whipped past you, some stray pieces of debris and rock whizzing past close enough to graze you. Yet Nero and V still faced forward, absolutely focused as the fight began.

Fuck.

You summoned your tendrils, trying to find your sense of balance as Nero shot forward, leveling his sword on the bigger of the creatures. V, opposite in fighting style, stepped back. He lifted his book of poems, reading from it as the wind pressure sent his hair waving wildly about his face. He still wore that cold expression, and you knew there would be no getting him to back down. So you provided support.

You wrapped your tendrils around him, whipping one out at a creature trying to get closer. It his his shield, sending him flying in Nero’s direction. The boy dodged easily, firing bullets into its head one after the other. Griffon was keeping low, desperately trying not to get blown away and keeping up with the fighting. How he managed, you’d never know. Still, you wrapped tendrils around him too, keeping him secure in the fighting area with all of you. He seemed grateful, providing backup fire for Shadow on the ground. The mighty cat was digging in its claws, roaring over the rush of sound and battle as it attacked with deadly spikes.

Another one of those creatures came for V, so you darted to his side, wrapping a tendril around its wrist and whipping more tendrils at its shield. It didn’t even flinch, taking the knockback and trying to swing its sword at you. V whipped his cane around, blocking the attack in one fell clang of metal. God, there was so much going on at that moment, you didn’t know what to keep track of. You were terrified of someone getting knocked off, but V needed to be protected. And yet, he was still keeping an eye on you, protecting you. It made your heart race, adrenaline pumping faster now as you sent of a flurry of tendrils, slicing the creature over and over and sending it rolling away.

“This is totally unsafe…!” You shouted at the two boys, who seemed pretty indifferent to the whole situation.

Nero let out a light laugh, hurling a demon away from him as he winked at you, “Don’t worry kid, you’ll get used to it!” He punched another creature with his metal arm, sending it flying away in an explosion of hot metal. One arm broken, it would seem.

You weren’t sure you wanted to get used to it.

Another piece of debris came flying off the front of the opera stage. V grabbed you, yanking you to the ground just as it passed overhead. You glanced up in enough time to see a demon raising a sword over you, using your tendrils to send you and V sliding away from each other just as the metal clanged down on stone. Christ, that was way too close. You met V’s gaze with a concerned one of your own, worried that maneuvers like that would accidentally fling him off at some point. He let out a slow breath, rising to his feet and snapping his fingers. Alarm filled you, brain wondering how the hell Nightmare would land on the sliding death trap.

He didn’t have to, the portal opening to the side and sending him bowling over the group of demons. Nero let out a light laugh, hoping out of the way and narrowly avoiding being crushed. Jesus christ. The structure shuddered and groaned at the extra weight, more dirt and rocks pattering past. You felt a couple scratch your face, but the pain was irrelevant at that moment. You saw two of the demons get finished off by Nero, but that big one was heading toward V.

Both boys looked at it, Nero launching himself with his devil breaker to slam it face first into the ground. Nightmare sent a line of laser behind him, targeting the remaining demons with vigor and readying them for death. V shot past you, cane in hand. He swung around, slamming it into the chest of one staggering demon, then whipped it around to impale it in the head of the other. The look on his face concerned you, no longer the level-headed look of the poet you’d seen all week. He looked...displeased, to say the least. Like there was a foul taste in his mouth. Something about this particular breed of demon was not settling well with him, and you wished you knew why.

Before you could give it any real though, Nero began finishing off the final creature.

As he stabbed his sword into the demon’s chest, the structure around you began to shudder more, rumbling filling the air as you jerked your gaze up. You could see a cliffs edge nearing at high speeds up ahead, just as the opera stage began to crumble apart from the stress of sliding down such a steep incline. You lost your balance, landing hard on your side even as your tendrils whipped out in a flurry of activity. Mind drawn to several places at once. V, reaching toward you and Griffon latching onto him, Nero looking up from the demon’s corpse. You latched onto them both, using the tendrils to launch you group up and back out of the stage, onto the cliff just as it went crashing down below.

You landed on your feet, falling back with a low huff of air as V came to a stumbling halt beside you, and Nero in front of you. Nightmare had returned to his master’s hair again, and Griffon and Shadow had apparently returned as well.

And you? You took some time to catch your breath.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136193/chapters/43249853

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