#idk why i have such a need to correct the record on people's ideas of college parties full of athletes but

[etoile-gracieuse]

im so sorry yall im regressing into all sorts of old obsessions these days.

just saw a post talking abt why dex (and jack at one point) from check please would be banned from aux at parties (im not reblogging bc it is from 2020 and i dont want to argue with anyone i just want to explain why im right LMAO) and all of the reasons they gave were. What. i had a haus of my own, only for a significantly larger team (track not hockey), and i know my experience is not universal and there's definitely someone out there who Also had a team and a team house w big parties that disagrees w everything i say etc etc but like. it is so odd to see people's ideas abt how that goes when it's the complete opposite of my experience

me rambling abt expectations vs reality for music at parties hosted by doofus athletes for doofus athletes below the cut with a short aside about how canon's housing is deeply confusing to me

it's not just party music assumptions that confuse me, it's on all sorts of levels, like the haus being their only team related off campus space. we had... 11?? off campus houses?? and even if you narrow it down to just houses w mens distance runners in it (approx the same number of people as umich's hockey team rosters) then we had 5 houses plus underclassmen in dorms. like the math is not mathing if there's just the 3 bedroom plus attic haus. what 21/22 year old is choosing to live in a traditional dorm. there's just no way your options as an upperclassman are "be lucky enough to be one of Maybe 6 that can squeeze in if several people share rooms" or "live in dorms. hopefully you get a single" when theoretically they should be averaging like 6.5 people per class year. not the point, a gripe i have w canon really anyways, whatever.

but the collective sense of what goes for party music... i get that the canon era is like 2013 to 2018 or so but like i have met some of our class of 2018 alumni. and i feel preeetty confident in saying the below was also true then.

'he would play come on eileen [and get banned]' - im sorry but that was played at LEAST once per party at my athlete frat house, how is that an aux-bannable offense

"they would be like 'we want party music not sea shanties'" - shipping up to boston is a Thing (capital T deserved). and rattlin bog. do you know how many drinks i have finished while listening to/playing rattlin bog. that is a classic drinking game (i double checked to make sure this wasnt invented like right before i hit college or smthn and found a tweet referencing it from 2014). also we did actually several sea shanties at a st pattys party (our aux guy did have to be bullied into it. worth it) though i would not say that that one's a universal experience.

"this absolute ding dong [jack] says 'i like carrie underwood' and is never asked for his input again" - you're telling me you haven't gotten down in a house full of stolen signs that is falling apart at the seams to before he cheats???? i have watched 22 year old 6'7" men stand on tables and truly Perform their hearts out to this song and you're telling me that holster wouldn't pull that shit?

"plays country and gets banned" - see: before he cheats. but also our most popular party theme (aside from disco i think) was farm party. we had hay bales and apple bobbing. our number of international harvester streams hit double digits before midnight. i did not go to college in the south, or in the middle of nowhere, or any of that. even city kids like to get drunk in overalls and cowboy hats singing about farmers' daughters sometimes

"he just plays dad rock" - i think once again people underestimate how hard college kids go for shit like that when theyre drunk. i have watched people pole dance around a basement support beam to billy joel and bruce springsteen before (admittedly not super frequently but also often enough that i think i have 2-3 videos of it happening). ok actually im looking at a dad rock list and. what do you mean people havent danced to queen at parties. or the killers? or the fratellis? no chelsea dagger or henrietta? no american pie at 2am when youre so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open but youre leaning on your friends and swaying enough to call it dancing so it's ok?? no the boys are back in town???

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 21 thoughts

a fantastic episode yesterday, and… a SKINNER episode today?!?! what kind of journey are we in for?!!!

LITTLE DID I KNOW!!! for i simply had no idea that a skinner episode is EXACTLY what i needed!!! it is the thing i did not order but that hit the spot precisely!!! it was a thing i couldn’t predict!!!

but who would have thought it? a glimpse into the life of such a secretive man… and a beautiful one, at that!! wow!! i’m emotional over WALTER SKINNER! how unexpected, but also inevitable….

let us begin this journey, which went in so many directions

let us read this episode description. skinner, a murderer…. hmm. it’s not really adding up to me... in this context, at least. has he killed people? yes, definitely. but a random person? seems sloppy. seems weird. seems that someone is framing him…

we open with our friend walter.

IS SKINNER GETTING A DIVORCE?????

this is not how i expected the episode to start!

oh, he won’t sign the papers. he says he’ll do it tomorrow. skinner is SAD :( he’s putting his coat on and leaving!!!!! he does not want to get divorced it seems.

wait, an emotional skinner like two minutes in……. woah. we’re in for a rollercoaster here, i can tell (author's note: op was correct)

noooo, sad skinner at a bar. someone sits next to him. this woman is pretty and sits next to him to escape a guy who wouldn’t stop talking to her. a gentleman!

she asks if being alone bothers him and OH! cutscene to sex. well. this escalated quickly. 

PAUSE. is this the first sex scene in this show??? and it’s SKINNER??? if you would have told me that fact a few months ago when i started this show, i would have laughed at you…

omg yeah... i think it is the first on-camera sex scene in this show?? in the past there hasn’t been much (thinking of 3, which is an episode i purposely choose to forget except for right now, and i am ONLY thinking of it to remember how the precedent was established) and they just cut to waking up the next morning. but no, not here. here we get the full show. 

well! he seems to be having fun, at least. 

OH??? until an old lady is on top of him and screaming? 

fun has been cancelled.

that seems to have been a terrible nightmare. but what is not a nightmare is that the woman next to him is DEAD!!!

huh???

my guess…. a slow acting poison??

poor skinner…… he literally cannot catch a break.

oh my goodness, how are our agents going to react to this news….? i would be so embarrassed if my employees knew who i was hooking up with……. and also that she died…..

mulder at da scene. he wants to talk to skinner but he isn’t allowed to talk to him!!!

his phone rings and scully is driving in absolute POURING RAIN and idk why it made me laugh. she was like in a damn flood and flooring it to get where she needed to be lmaoooo

skinner says not to get involved. yeah okay. unstoppable force (mulder on a quest for answers) meet immovable object (skinner)

OH! so it was NOT poison that killed her, and actually her neck was broken. so i guess i didn’t see that. which is probably good because i would have gagged.

this detective is being a jerk to mulder. saying that skinner is suspicious for not taking a lie detector test as if a lie detector test can prove a damn thing (hint: it cannot!) but mulder still gives him his card so they can call and chat

LMAOOOO he was on the phone with scully for all of that exchange with the detective, and she is STILL just trying to get through what looks like a hurricane!!! but she is on her way!!!! he says let’s go look at the body 

still at the crime scene, mulder sees the body’s outline and sighs deeply, realizing his colleague is in trouble

scully is narrating the autopsy into her little voice recorder thing, and it always makes me think she’s vlogging, but i digress. she says the victim’s spine was crushed, and only skinner’s prints were on the body.

mulder makes a stupid remark about “at least they were having safe sex” because really, what DO you say when your boss is a murder suspect, and the body is right in front of you? well! many of us will never have to answer this question. funny how he needs to have a Quip to cope, though. don't think i haven't noticed.

her name was carina, and she was a legal secretary who was fired for working as an escort. they truly hate to see a woman get her side hustle on.

scully looks so sad and confused at all of this, but turns the light out and the body’s face is glowing in the dark around the mouth!!! so she pulls out her recorder and makes note of that. it’s like if you split the juice in a glow stick on there. so maybe there WAS poison afoot?!

(author's note: literally no poison at all in this ep idk i was just really convinced there would be... it is important i also include my predictions that flop so you know i have journalistic integrity)

mulder and scully at someone’s door. the person who answers says lorraine is busy, and he says “busy or not, we need to speak with her” and barges in and AGAIN. the way these two just enter a room so forcefully always makes me lose my mind. someone please make a youtube complication of this someday. they are NOT vampires they do not need to be invited in 😭

lorraine, the head of the escort agency, wants to do their questioning later and they break the news carina is dead. she does not want to tell them who hired her, for it goes against their practice. but mulder is ANGRY and gets her to confess that it was, in fact, skinner.

the agents are walking out, asking what was he thinking, and i am wondering the same thing!! she says they can’t ignore the evidence, but mulder is refusing to believe that skinner could be responsible. oh mulder, your faith in those you love really is admirable.

she brings up that they really don’t know much about skinner, but he says that we know he’s risked a lot for us, and that they owe it to him to find the truth. another case of both things being true, which happens often with these two.

oooo this is juicy, i’m INVESTED!!!

conveniently timed cell phone call! skinner has been released. mulder runs to go get him and skinner says it doesn’t concern him, but mulder says of course it does, and damn, i’m just now realizing how attached to skinner mulder must be, how he sounds like a scared little kid hoping against hope he’s innocent, because the people you love can’t do bad things, right? AUGHHHHH how mulder must look for safety in all the places he didn’t get it growing up. i’m gonna be sick. of course it concerns us! <- yeah. making note to analyze this in depth later because it felt like piercing me through the heart.

skinner is gagged by their revelation that carina was a sex worker, which means something is afoot here, because he was supposed to be the one that hired her...

but when he looks behind them, he sees that creepy old woman again!!! omg i had forgotten about her!!!! she’s in a bright red rain jacket. 

and he runs into traffic after her (he does get hit by a car but it's the least of his worries) but when he goes to get her… it’s someone else?? with brown hair and blue eyes and not a creepy old lady at all. it’s his WIFE!!!!! WIFE REVEAL!!!!! 🎊

so the agents and sharon skinner are chatting. scully wants to know if he’s always been so private. “he lives under this misguided notion that silence is strength” is what his wife has to say, which is both poignant and read him for filth, sharon. so that is why they separated, and have been for about 8 months.

oh! mulder was one of the few people skinner ever mentioned from work!!! she knows he respects him, so she asks him if he really killed that woman. mulder says he doesn’t think skinner did it, but they have to go now. 

some guy named special agent bonnecaze is at skinner’s desk. and the agents are wanted at a hearing for skinner’s ability to keep his job!!! this bonnecaze says they’re not allowed to go sleuthing about. mulder is very very angry.

(what separates a special agent from a regular agent? this is probably a simple internet search, but isn't it more fun to post your thoughts? google says pretty much everyone at the federal level involved in crime investigation is a special agent. so if they're ALL special agents it can't be that special)

back to the office, where mulder is chomping on his pen, and skinner won’t answer his phone. scully notes that he is “doing everything he shouldn’t be doing” which is probably on purpose, RIGHT?? RIGHT?!

and scully looks so beautiful…. she’s concerned about skinner's state of mind, and what else he might be capable of. mulder seems frustrated that she would suspect him, but she explains that genuinely she IS giving him the benefit of the doubt, in the sort of tone you use when you are deeply apologizing to someone, hand on her chest. she can clearly see how attached mulder is to this whole situation. an empath...

scully thinks that maybe something else is going on… she’s playing a video of a man who had REM sleep behavior disorder and relived getting hit by a train each night until he broke his wife’s arm. she is in doctor mode talking about sleep related stuff. and the clinic that film came from WAS WHERE SKINNER HAD BEEN RECEIVING TREATMENT FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS!!! gasp!! for the same condition!

so he sees an old woman attacking him in his sleep, and maybe he had attacked carina thinking it was her. scully is playing with her necklace as this theory is proposed.

mulder is like, yes i have heard of something like this, a succubus. and he puts his pen in his mouth and grabs a big book off the shelf!!! wow i love that he has a book mentioning medieval spirits in his office :,) maybe need to get one of those for mine.

oh! and his book claims there can be residue left behind… like the stuff she found… scully is pulling a "mulder, you're never gonna believe this" mentally

back to the body. but now her mouth isn’t glowing in the dark! but she had taken a sample… and when sent to the lab for analysis, they found nothing!!!

mulder asks if she is SURE she saw something, and she is like yeah i wouldn’t make that up?? so new theory: skinner is running from all of this because he’s afraid.

skinner is sipping something strong and someone knocks at his door. it’s sharon in a big red raincoat! he didn’t get her calls because he unplugged his phone……. says he hasn't been sleeping....

this must be where he lives now since they separated, but he hasn’t unpacked at all. she wants to make sure he’s okay! but he’s pulling the you’re my ex card. and she says, well i only initiated the divorce because YOU were too scared to do it yourself, and he says “fair enough” <- OOOOO again sharon read him for filth. still, i do not enjoy seeing him so sad.

she wants him to let his walls down, but she knows he will never let her comfort him. so she says to take care of himself and leaves :(

he pulls out their wedding day photo and AWW they’re so young :(((((

AND HE FALLS ASLEEP HOLDING IT. STOP, AM I GOING TO CRY OVER A MAN NAMED WALTER?????????

sleepy time interrupted by screaming. it’s the old lady in the red rain coat just absolutely letting it out, and then she leaves. but there is a REAL knock at the door, and it’s the detective!!!

NO! he says sharon was in an accident!! WHAT IS GOING ON??? skinner’s terrified… and they want the keys to his car…. HE WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!! HE DID NOT DO THAT SHIT!!!

so he is at the police station and mulder is also here, reporting that sharon is in surgery. but he says they’re building a case against him!!!

mulder clarifies he doesn’t think that skinner did it, but scully doesn’t understand why he isn’t trying to defend himself. and mulder’s doing the angry man thing where he puts his hands on his hips and pushes his jacket back and hnhbbbbhmmmmmmppllhghgh

nooooo skinner :( he’s so angry :( he doesn’t know what is going on or what to believe :(

so mulder asks about the old woman- which they know about from reading his files- and yells that if he doesn’t start trusting someone, he doesn’t stand a chance. whew! he has had enough of this silence!!!

(oh my phone is gonna die hold on. break to procure a charger. charger secured. CHARGER ISN’T WORKING?? omg… now it is… crisis averted)

so skinner started seeing her “again” a few months ago… he’s talking about what happened to him in vietnam, how he was a sole survivor of an ambush. he says he got through the experience by numbing himself with whatever he could, and he “inhaled”, so he assumed she was another hallucination. and she watched him watch himself die, but she carried him back away from the light. 

mulder proposes she was trying to protect him them and still is now. but he doesn’t know from what!! he is so sad!!

GASP!!! CUTSCENE TO CANCER MAN WATCHING THIS ALL GO DOWN?????

ANOTHER EVIL CIG MAN PLOT?!?!?

so skinner’s car matches the damage on sharon’s car, and allegedly the hood of his car was still warm when the detectives got to his house and brought him in for questioning. mulder asks for a flashlight and gets in the car despite the hearing being in a half hour. oh! he’s slicing out the air bag?

bringing the air bag to the lab guy, who can turn the air bag into a facial pattern of whoever it crashed into. is this a thing that can happen??? big if true.

scully at the hearing. mulder not there!! so they just begin.

she’s trying to explain the mouth glow situation, and special agent bonnecaze basically accuses her of hiding stuff; she says she’s reluctant to speak for mulder, but he thought it came from a “visitation”. she has no other explanation! 

(wow, i love that she admits she has no idea here. you can tell who is intelligent by seeing who is willing to admit to not having all of the answers. it's a small thing but it says a lot about her character <3)

they ask her if she believes in paranormal phenomena, and she dodges the question by saying she views everything “through the lens of science”. a measured response. but they’re asking if skinner has become “enchanted by agent mulder’s notions” HUH?? what da hell does that mean? anyway, she says no. 

bonnecaze accuses her of protecting skinner by exaggerating the unexplained elements of the case, which she ENTIRELY refutes. and when she tries to say that she is NOT finished, they say she is. OHHH the bastards. 

scully calls mulder but he’s right behind her lololol. anyway, it’s no laughing matter that skinner is OUT OF A JOB. she says he would have had a better chance against a firing squad. and they used the x files to justify getting rid of him!! he thinks "they’re" doing it to hurt the x files, whoever they may be!!! (presumably cig man and his UN alien club??)

so mulder has a graph that looks like pixel art of whoever stole skinner's car that night and his sharon. "they" couldn’t try to kill him again, so a set up would be less obvious. it makes sense.

i think the lab guy’s name is danny?? well they can’t figure out who thief is, who must have also been the fellow who hired carina. 

oh no! now they’re at the scene of another crime. it’s the lady who runs the escort agency! she jumped off a building :( or it was staged to look like that

but they see the woman who answered the door when they visited her place of work!!! her name is judy. and she says that the pixel art man who hired carina said no one would get hurt!!!! so this dude stole skinner’s card!!! 

(is it krycek. i can’t stand him any longer!)

due to lorraine being dead, she can’t talk with this mystery client, so they ask judy to set up a meeting with him, to pretend she needs money to get out of town. she calls some unnamed men on the phone to arrange this meeting.

and the men on the phone are not krycek, but they ARE watching this all go down from their car!!!!!! WHO ARE THESE FREAKS!!!!

skinner is going to see sharon. and she can’t hear him but he’s telling her he’s not signing the divorce papers :( he says he can’t tell her the terrible things he has seen…. and that she was what got him through each day, knowing he had a reason to wake up :( NOOOOO

and as he smooches her forehead her monitor starts going off!!!!!!! but then he sees her turn into the scary old woman!!!!!! who looks out at him and beckons. so he goes back in and grabs the hand of the old woman but it’s actually his wife again!!!!!!! she says to listen to her. WHAT IS IT!!! what does she KNOW!!!

mulder at the bar where they planned the set up. sipping something and looking good, yeah yeah. the men who set this whole thing up are arriving. 

while scully and judy are upstairs and oh my god scully. she is so beautiful. both of these bastards are so utterly beautiful. 

sighs wistfully…….

well, whoever it is they’re waiting on isn’t showing up. but there’s a movement at the door! and she says mulder, get up here right now!!!

scully with her gun out in the hotel room……. the suspense…….. she finds judy in the bathroom but SOMEONE ELSE IS BEHIND HER!!!

it’s the guy from before, who was on the phone with judy!! and he’s firing his gun!! scully is on the ground but she seems unhurt beyond the head slamming??

WAIT! it isn’t that scary phone guy who fired his gun!! it was SKINNER!!! who shot whoever set this whole operation up!!!

SKINNER TELEPORTATION TO THE SCENE....

judy is crying and scully is on the floor still, but it seems all is well in the world?

back to skinner’s office!!! which is rightfully his office again!!!

they bring him the report on the case, and there are lots of unanswered questions, including who that dude who was shot was. there is no identity whatsoever.

OH! mulder points out that there is no explanation as to why skinner was at the hotel last night, so please fill out that line yourself. which he says he can’t do, because it has no place in a report.

so mulder asks skinner to tell him what happened, off the record, and scully is waiting with bated breath… and he says he has some catching up to do. mulder kind of looks like someone just kicked him but he walks away :(

(oh mulder, funny how you're trying to get him to break these walls down, but you have some pretty damn solid walls of your own. now you know how it must feel... i jest, but it is so sad to see him unable to connect to skinner in the way he wants to. nevertheless, this is a happy ending)

skinner puts his wedding ring back on!!! and gets back to work!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT!!!!!!! 

omg. so much to unpack here. i kind of assumed we would never get any skinner lore beyond his vietnam story, so this was a deeply welcome surprise. earlier i was very suspicious of him- you may recall some posts where i repeatedly say things along the lines of "i don't trust this guy"- but you can see how the narrative is shifting, how now we are supposed to trust him after he has done so much for scully and mulder. and it is very interesting to see how he operates, how he tries to put on that strong facade, and how it needs to crumble for him to move forward.

so, i think that there are two things at play here: one, someone who was trying to frame skinner for the murder and the attempted killing of his wife, and two, the whole situation with the scary old lady. we know the scary old lady was the one he saw in vietnam, and the one he attributes to saving his life, so it makes sense to think that some sort of guardian angel spirit would show up to him as an attempt to make him realize that he was losing what really mattered to him (sharon) due to his own fear. so even though she is scary looking, she led him to sharon, and appeared when he was with another woman as if to scare sense into him.

now, what is LESS clear is who did the killing! we know his prints were found on her, but did they check everything? how does that even work? maybe he strangled her in his sleep on accident, but given that someone else paid her to be there that evening, it would make more sense that someone else did it, no? except they said there was no sign of any intruders... so perhaps whoever it was who set that whole scenario up knew enough about him to know that was a possibility. in that case, they must have access to his medical records and know about his visions.....

must be the work of the cig man and his cronies.

so, if you accidentally kill someone in your sleep... how do you proceed from there?

well, i guess it doesn't matter, because he got his job back.

interesting to explore the concept of a guardian angel sort of creature as a being of terror, to shock you out of the mistakes you make that ruin your life. and it doesn't explain the glowy mouth or succubus allegations, but hey, there's always some stuff that doesn't entirely add up!

overall, i thought this was a really great episode. it was very different from the last one, but the tone shift didn't feel drastic and uncomfortable. i'm really interested in how mulder handled this whole thing, how he clearly has these projections for what he wants skinner to be and how he wants him to act, as if he's idolizing him. i think that is very fascinating and i will be mentally chewing on that for a while. and scully being willing to admit what she does not know, and observe what she cannot explain... mmm, it's just delicious to me.

so huh! i'm pleased! shoutout to walter, sharon, and the sleep demon that saved their marriage

[mymarifae]

hi !!! same person who sent the (presumably) last anon about hsr

sorry for rambling again but none of my friends have gotten to penacony yet and i need to talk about it

also i really like your thought about how march 7th might've chose to have her memories taken !!! i hadn't really considered that it was her choice, and to me it makes the fact that she's recording everything so she has something if it happens again all the more heartbreaking. like she's recording everything so she can at least have something from her past but she chose to do it herself :(((

tbh i didn't and still don't have much speculation, only a few half-baked sentences that i've thrown out, including that maybe she and firefly are maybee connecting in some way? im kind of just throwing things at the wall and hoping it sticks but i think firefly mentioned something about an ice cabin and i was just like "!!! something about march 7th??" also with the fact that disguised sparkle called her march, but that also might've just been a hint to it being not-sampo

i know it's probably unlikely but if firefly and march are connected i would love to see how they go about it

after doing black swan's companion mission and learning a bit more about how she operates as a memokeeper, i feel even more strongly about the idea that it was march's decision to have her memories sealed away. Tbh

it's just like... black swan showed she has no qualms about briefly manipulating people's memories to her advantage, but she always straightens them out after she takes her leave. she seems super reluctant to permanently alter and even capture/record memories without explicit permission. there's still a lot about the garden we don't know, so she may be an outlier - but i doubt it? since she holds such a high position and has gained so much of fuli's favor

so unless march was some sort of tyrant like tizocic and her memories had to be forcibly sealed away for the good of the universe (WHICH I? DOUBT????) i'm pretty sure the garden is just following through on something she asked them to do in her past life. otherwise they would have relented in Some Way. at least

now your idea of firefly being connected to march's past is interesting! i got your ask correcting yourself about the icy medical cabin thing but there issssss their similar eye colors to consider

like that feels decently significant. in some way. hoyoverse same face is a plague but they don't repeat unique design motifs like this unless it's on purpose. also, i'm 85% sure the sampo that mistakenly called firefly march 7th was the real sampo! idk if you had done black swan's companion mission when you sent this, but the real sampo was on penacony too. and he was working with sparkle for a bit, so... idk i just don't think sparkle disguised herself as him until That cutscene. like i don't think she's ever been to belobog so she wouldn't have been able to dream about natasha's office. and whatnot

sooooo that's something too! although like. it is sampo we're talking about. i don't think he was paying much attention to march's appearance but the physical similarities between the two are there. it's not as immediately noticeable and eyebrow-raising as, say, bronya and silver wolf (BTW WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT? GOD. actually i think it may be a nod to hi3 and the 500 versions [?] of bronyas in that game and that's why it was never elaborated on. but HELP) but like. they're THERE. so. much to consider........

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Daryl Dixon Sneak Peek, Part 2

@galadrieljones:

Idk if I ever mentioned this before but the rat in the walls reminds me of this old short story by Ian McEwan called “First Love, Last Rites,” in which a newly married couple keeps hearing a rat scratching in the walls and it’s meant to represent something they’re not sharing with one another but that is gnawing at the connection between them. The fact that it’s a “rat” is not idiomatic, a la “a snitch.” It’s just a pest that you can often hear but cannot see, that stays hidden just long enough that it’s easy to ignore until suddenly it’s in the soup.

Anyway I am literally just riffing here. I hope this is helpful or at least at all useful lol. Very interested in all thoughts on any of these matters!!

Oh one more thing I just thought of, is that the search for Rick is historically a way of subverting Daryl’s failed search for Beth. This is ofc why he finds the harpy in the woods who ends up looking like Beth. He finds her, but it’s not what he thought. It’s all connected. So now, everyone thinks he’s of “looking for Rick” again but ofc this search for Rick is so much more complicated than what it seems. It’s a way for Daryl to complete the narrative he could not complete many years ago.

(And ofc because Daryl is Daryl he can never admit to himself who/what he is actually searching for—love. Beth. Her. The one who got away.)

(He hopes that if he can find and save Rick, then this feeling will go away.)

OH, also, I read in a couple places that people are speculating the device Daryl is talking into is not a radio, but a handheld recorder. Some are speculating that this will be used as a thematic device, to help break down Daryl's psyche a little, allow him vulnerability, as he's such a stoic character.

I like this idea a little bit. I am interested in the kinds of things he will say when he thinks no one can hear.

It's also this very interesting callback to Beth, who writes in a journal. It's a recorded journal. Hmm.

That's it for my immense ramble for the evening. Hope you all are sleeping soundly

@wdway:

@galadrieljones, you know the old saying be careful what you wish for, well you might feel some regret when I ramble on and on because you asked for thoughts on your speculations, haha. I just want to start by saying how much I enjoyed everything that you've talked about yesterday and all the research you did was outstanding, as usual.

I'm definitely thinking that we're not seeing the previews or the two previews, the short one and the longer one in the correct sequence of events in the storyline. I think that the second one, the longer one where it starts with him getting off of the boat is probably several episodes into Daryl's s1 storyline.

I do tend to want to think that Daryl did in fact start his journey towards Paris from the Mediterranean coastline port of Marseille. Most of that is in telling his story I don't think they would take the time to have Daryl land closer to Paris or on the Atlantic coast then have him journey down and around and back up to Paris. Keeping in mind that we're only talking about six episodes and anywhere between 40 to 50 minutes of actually air story time per episode. The other thing is they have to keep it simple and not get overly complicated in lesser important details.

The GA needs to be able to follow what's happening or will be able to piece together what's happening easily. The spin-offs and especially Daryl's and Rick/ Michonne's needs to hold on to their faithful fans, bring back old fans and create new ones. The plot line not being too overly complicated in order to understand what's going on will be very important.

As always there will be things that the writers will put in that in the scheme of things only a few will pick up on and poke and pick apart. We're part of that that very small group. There will be a lot of things that the majority of the viewers will never notice that we will be jumping out of our seats when we see it or hear it in the dialogue. I believe the writers, Gimple and a few of the long-term producers enjoy leaving these types of hints, clues and plot details that only a special few will pick up on and enjoy the genius of it all.

For the good of the overall TWDU franchise they need to increase their numbers of viewers and that means that they have a good overall story with lots of Walkers/zombies that has twist and turns and major shockers. That will keep the viewers happy and coming back for more. I think it's safe to believe that the things that they announce or allowed to be leaked are simply the things they want in the off-season for people to talk about, to keep the buzz going, but the things that will make viewers sit up in their seat and OMG!!! what did I just see, I've got to rewatch this! are not going to be leaked or previewed unless it's part of the plan to bring people in.

An example of this is knowing that Carol will be in s2 is making a lot of viewers very happy. It's not the shocker. The shocker will be something coming from left field (left=Beth) that no one, or at least the majority of the viewers are expecting. A shocker that will be talked about for days and week and people will tune in in order to see what comes next.

I warned you long ramble.

I definitely like the thought that Daryl would be keeping a verbal journal of his thoughts. I so agree with you that it would give a great opportunity to get into his mindset. It also opens up Daryl speaking, not just us watching him, but us being able to listen to him without having to create other characters that need to have some kind of deeper storyline in order to be believable that Daryl would be opening up to them with his inner thoughts.

Daryl's line of, "I went out looking for something," instead of," I went out looking for someone," suddenly struck me as making perfect sense if his search at this point is for information. He hasn't found the information, yet. His first mission is to locate the information. And if we are correct in that he finds either recordings or video information in that building where he appears to have an epiphany that in fact Beth lived past Grady, than that will send him on his next mission of finding her.

@galadrieljones:

In the original teaser, we see Daryl wash up on a straight beach. There’s no indication of where he is, as far as I can tell. There are beaches on the Opal Coast or northern coast of France but it wouldn’t make sense for him to then somehow end up in the Mediterranean. Ofc there are also lovely beaches on the southern coast of France. But how the heck would he have just ended up floating around in there? That’s a lot of information.

I think you’re right that his ultimate destination must be Paris, since that’s where we know of the majority of filming taking place, not to mention all the Paris clues in WB. I agree too that things need to stay somewhat simple. For him to end up in Marseille that is just mysterious enough to get us talking.

BUT it’s also somewhat bizarre. Why would he be in the Mediterranean Ocean?

Just enough intrigue. As far as the GA is concerned if they even saw the sneak peak they probably wouldn’t know where Marseille was. I’m not trying to denigrate them lol but even I wasn’t positive of where it was located and would have looked it up if you hadn’t already.

So to them it’s just, “oooh fancy France!” But there’s a deeper story implied here.

@wdway:

That's one of the examples of what I was talking about. The writers, Gimple knows that the average viewer does not care, nor would they take the time to even find out where it is, but we jumped on it and had great fun with it.

@galadrieljones:

Here is a French comm on YouTube wondering why he “took the long way,” when he could have docked in Normandy or Brittany. I scanned a lot of comments to find one person asking this question. Most are just stoked the show even exists.

@wdway:

I have some ideas about Carol and Daryl being taken but I need to do some research. It has to do with some subtle hints that were left in the s10&11 and all the things in Fear this season showing us the East Coast has brought certain ideas back to my mind of how I was toying around with how Daryl getting to France and now with including Carol how my original thought could be reworked to make sense. Only speculation but I'm looking for speculation that would make sense. I'll try to pull it together and kind of present it to you guys maybe late tonight or tomorrow.

@galadrieljones:

Looking forward to it!

Also an interesting discovery from the comments: the bridge Daryl crosses in the trailer is called the Pont-du-Gard and is a day’s trek on foot from Marseille. I looked it up and it is indeed on the way to Paris.

Not very far lol but perhaps a clue he is heading that way

@wdway:

This is not part of what I'll be researching and my theory I'll be putting out to you guys later. I just want to say if he originally landed by ship or plane around the Canary Islands/Dog Islands which is closer to Spain rather than go upward he takes another ship or other transportation around Spain and ends up in the coastal town.

Another thing is if this is in a later episode we don't know where he has been before that. Where he is when he meets the nun and her group. I feel that he very purposeful in the preview where he's going. This isn't random, he has a destination in mind. If he and Carol both knew that they want to find the lab or working place of the scientists then they would both know where they could ultimately find each other.

Even if they're not on the same time but I find each other later they know that they're going to be somewhere in the area of paris. Maybe for once they do plan out a system of clues of symbols that they can leave on walls or places along that way they would only recognize would be left by each other. I'm totally just rambling putting down thoughts as they occurred to me.

@wdway:

@galadrieljones, you are the queen of quick research so I have an assignment for you if you choose to accept it. Mission Impossible reference. Would you check out where the equivalent of the CDC would be in France.

@galadrieljones:

Lol I love it

I will see what I can find!!!!

@galadrieljones:

Okay so a couple results. First, in France, Sante Publique is the c for public health, and that is in Paris. However, unlike the CDC, the Sante Publique does not have any laboratories, and it is definitely not a Level 4 Biohazard research facility. The CDC seems unique in this respect. Sante Publique France seems more just like, a bureucratic c which publishes research, holds discussions and conferences, makes decisions on public policy based on health-related issues, etc.

There is also a Sante Publique Quebec in Canada. There are three Level 4 Biohazard research facilities in France. Two are military, one is a private research company that focuses on infectious diseases. Two are in the suburbs of Paris, and one is in Lyon, which is like 275 miles south west of Paris, in the direction if Marseille. Level 4 labs are “used to study infectious agents or toxins that pose a high risk of aerosol-transmitted laboratory infections and life-threatening disease for which no vaccine or therapy is available.”

So like, per Jenner’s example of “weaponized small pox.” There is one in Galveston, TX and several more in the US as well, beyond the CDC. So like it’s not totally a 1:1 comparison but if there was major virus research happening in france most likely it was happening near Paris. In the US, these facilities tend to be in weird, almost rural places, like Manhattan, KS and Hamilton, MT, I would imagine to keep bad things away rom population cs, but ofc we have the space for that.

@wdway:

I love how you included Manhattan as a rural location, haha.

Thanks for this information Tarah. I can always count on you for amazing research duty. The site in Lyon, France is interesting, don't you think. 80 miles from Marseille to the Pont-du-Gard and from there 146 to Lyon. That's regular roadways. It could definitely be a possibility of where he was going. The place we will be seeing is fictional. That there is a Level 4 laboratory in Lyon is a reasonable location with shown that Daryl pasted the Pont-du-Gard on his way to that building.that could be used within the story.

@galadrieljones:

Lol. Didn’t even think of that Manhattan, KS is some ways outside Topeka

[thestobingirlie]

Oh my god I saw about that hate anon and that was a wild read ngl. Also I saw the other stuff and it’s wild how many people create an idea of what Steve fans are like and then press that on Steve fans who have never said what they’re complaining about.

Yep yep yep! About people forgetting that they’re writing human beings like the characters themselves aren’t him an beings but they should resemble human beings ya know? Yes like all the teens have major complexity and I always hate whenever people just dumb it down on the complexity because that’s what makes it hella interesting. And also thanks for the fic I’ll def read it!

Yes exactly what you said about Nancy! Like it isn’t a great track record that and yeah it is def a trauma thing! But also like you said she could grow out of it but also I don’t want Robin in that mess! Especially since I did bring up she’s a lesbian in the 80s like she genuinely needs someone who is as serious as her in a relationship

Yes about the similarity because like idk how people saw being similar as being an indicator that you’re too much like the other person to work things out! Like we only see a few traits in Robin that are reflected in vickie but just because it’s reflected doesn’t mean that they’re the exact same! Yep people are seriously so nit picky about their relationship for more reason at all! Oh my god especially about that part about how they act like these characters are in their 20s and that’s the only relationship they will have. Like these characters are in their teenager years and idk why it’s so wild that people can’t comprehend the fact that they’re just teenagers and are most likely not in it for the really long haul. It’s amazing when relationships last that long however the way people in this fandom act like just because teenagers are in romantic pairings that means it’s the end all be all

Also you’re so correct about the Nancy thing and her probably doing that! Cuz I could so see it.

i know, it was so weird lmao. and yeah, people make up this idea of what steve stans are like, and then get annoyed at me for it! like, what’d i do?

yeah, like, obviously they’re just characters written to fit a narrative, but if you’re trying to write a fanfic, you have to at least try and make them seem like people. otherwise it’s just boring. and complexity is so fun! like i love a little toxicity between characters, so i just find it so weird to engage in a ship/relationship that would have a lot of tension and then get annoyed that it isn’t running smoothly.

yeah, i don’t think nancy will always have issues with her relationships, but i also don’t think they’re getting solved anytime soon, and that’s why nancy just needs to be single. like, everyone in her relationships is getting hurt in some way (including her), and until she confronts her trauma that will keep happening. and yeah, robin’s got enough going on, let her have a sweet little relationship.

a lot of people in the fandom contradict themselves constantly to try and prove that only their opinions are correct about the relationships. and that’s human nature! you know, i don’t hate them for it. it’s just fucking annoying lol. and i hate any fandom where the kids are teenagers and everyone acts like who’s endgame actually matters. like, they’re teenagers. they’ll probably break up in a week! they still have years of growing left to do! that’s why i like when some ships are left ambiguous. like, i’d love if nancy ended the show single, and if the audience wants to, they can decide if she ended up back with jonathan or steve, or ended up with some random, you know?

it’s tough being so correct about nancy when most of the fandom disagrees with me lmao

[aristrocrat]

Upside Down Feelings III

Chapter 4: The Sauna Test

summary: I’M NOT EVEN GONNA BOTHER WITH A SUMMARY BC I’M TOO BUSY SCREAMING RN

word count: IDK BUT ITS KINDA LONG

“-That keycard opens the door,” Dustin continued explaining to the three sleepy teenagers sitting in front of him. You lazily plopped your head on your palm as Steve played with his sailor hat and Robin clicked away at the ice cream scooper. The sleepiness didn’t stop you from listening intently. “But unfortunately the Russian with this keycard also has a massive gun. Whatever’s in this room, whatever’s in those boxes, they really don’t want anybody finding it.”

“But there’s gotta be a way in,” You shook your head in thought. Steve blew into his hat, putting it down as he leaned forward in a serious manner.

“I can just take him out,” He said.

“Take who out?” You raised your brows.

“The Russian guard.”

You snorted.

“What? I sneak up behind him, I knock him out, and I take his keycard. It’s easy.”

“Did you not hear the part about the massive gun?” You deadpanned.

“Yes, Y/N, I did. And that’s why I would be sneaking,” He rolled his eyes as if you were the one misunderstanding the situation. You felt the familiar feeling of anger bubble in your chest at his tone.

“Well, riddle me this, Einstein: what gives you the idea that you can win a fight against a trained soldier when you couldn’t even take Jonathan down?” You leaned forward with a smirk, leaving only mere inches between your faces.

“That was one time,” He scoffed.

“Twice. Billy beat the living shit out of you in November,” You corrected.

“That? That doesn’t count-“

“Oh, that doesn’t count?” You chuckled. He narrowed his eyes at your arrogance. “And pray tell, why doesn’t it count, Steve?”

“Because, Y/N-“

“Here they go again,” Dustin muttered. Robin rolled her eyes before her face dropped in thought.

“No, no, no! If I remember correctly, and I do-“ You continued.

“That’s debatable! You slammed your head pretty hard-“ Steve interrupted.

“What are you thinking?” Dustin asked the freckled girl gone silent, allowing you and Steve to hash it out as he listened to her response.

“If we want to find a safe way into that room, we’ll need a map,” Robin responded, watching as you and Steve continued with your daily argument. “They’ll be at it for a while. Wanna come with?”

“Where to?” Dustin perked up.

“County Recorder’s Office. Grab the money from the tip jar. I’ll meet you outside,” She stood up and walked toward your purse, digging around for your keys. Dustin nodded, taking off.

“Woah, hey, what are you doing?” You turned around, hearing the familiar jingle from your keys.

“I’m borrowing the Bronco. We’ll be back in jiffy,” She was already walking out of the door. You both followed after her.

“You don’t even have your license!”

“It’s just around the corner! Live a little!” She smirked.

“Hey, dipshit! Where are you going with our tips?” Steve called after Dustin.

“We need it! Trust us! We’ll be back!”

And just like that, the two disappeared into the crowd of people outside of the parlor.

“That sounds like a bad idea,” Steve muttered. “You should probably go with them.”

“Why me?” You frowned. “You go with them.”

“Oh, my God! Would it kill you to agree with me for once in your life?” He sighed, walking into the back again. “You are so unreasonable sometimes.”

“Says the man that wants to take down an armed guard by sneaking up to him,” You rolled your eyes, following close behind and leaning on the counter as you watched him pace.

“We’ve taken down far scarier things than armed guards, Y/N,” He lowered his voice, taking a step closer to you to continue. “Surely, we could-“

“We?” You laughed. “Oh, no. No, no, no-“

“Just hear me out,” Another step.

“No, you hear me out, Harrington,” You drove your pointer finger into his chest, tired of hearing his naive plan. He looked down at you with wide eyes. “You think everything is so simple! You know why we took down those things?”

“Strategy and tactic!” He shouted.

“No, Steve! Luck. Sheer luck. We were only mere seconds away from meeting a different fate!” You shouted back. “Had we not had El in our corner- Had she not shown up when she did, we would’ve been dead. Hell, we should be dead. But we aren’t.”

“Well, we will be dead eventually if we let those fucking Russians go on with whatever they’re doing!”

“No. It’s too dangerous,” You shook your head.

“Then let me do it alone-“

“And let you die?! Do you have any idea what that would do to me?!”

Silence. Ear piercing silence ensued as those final words processed in his mind.

“I..” You took a deep breath, realizing exactly what just spilled out of your mouth. His eyes danced across your face in a way they haven’t since that night you’d shared a dance at the Winter Ball. “I meant Dustin. Do you have any idea what that.. would do to Dustin..”

The ends of his lips curled up ever so slightly with amusement as he placed his hands on either side of you, resting his weight on the counter behind you. His smug smile not even a foot away from your own lips. “You’re a shit liar, you know that?”

“I’m not.. I’m not lying,” You breathed, cursing yourself for stuttering. But you couldn’t help to feel nervous with those half-lidded eyes staring deeply into your own. He didn’t even bother to hide it anymore. It was written plainly on his face.

He wanted you.

“Then look me in my eyes and tell me you didn’t mean what you said,” He tested the waters by getting closer. He licked his lips, making you realize they were only six inches away from your own.

“I didn’t mean it,” You said without hesitation. It didn’t matter how firmly you said it, it was your own eyes that you away this time as flickered down to those soft lips. You couldn’t resist to take a glimpse. You tried to hide it. But it was clear as day.

You wanted him, too.

He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slowly. His brown eyes danced around your face, taking you in with enough focus to memorize every feature.

He lifted his left hand, setting it on your jaw as his thumb brushed against your lower lip before dragging it down to your chin.

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” He whispered, inching closer until his nose tickled your own.

“A really bad idea,” You agreed softly, feeling his mouth graze ever so gently against your own. Your eyes shut as you breathed each other in for a moment before he gave you a small nod and forced himself to take a step back stepped back.

You both blinked, taking in what almost just happened. He cleared his throat as you shifted uncomfortably at the tension. Another deafening silence shot through your chest, greeting the violent butterflies that fluttered away beneath the surface.

“I, uh..” He scratched at the back of his neck, searching for something- anything to say. “I should get back up there.”

You only nodded, watching as he took long strides to the door and disappeared behind it. You turned around, letting out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding as you leaned against the counter; your palms on the cold metal was your only source of stability. You allowed yourself to let out a few deep breaths, brushing your lips with your fingers and remembering the way his warm breath danced on them only a few moments before.

The door burst open, making you jump as you looked up to see Steve making a beeline towards you. “Fuck it.”

You didn’t know who kissed the other first, but before you knew it, his lips collided onto your own, hands pressed firmly against your waist and cheek as your own clawed at his shirt, pulling him in even closer. Your fingers found his hair and gently pulled at the brunette locks, earning a groan that rumbled into your core.

He backed you into the same counter you were just leaning on, helping you onto it as you jumped. Your legs wrapped around him, pulling him into you.

He kissed you with fervor. You kissed him back just as hungrily. It was as if all of the tension that had built up in the previous months exploded into this.

He chuckled against your lips.

“You have no idea.. how long I’ve been.. wanting to do this,” He mumbled between kisses before pulling away. “You’re way better at this than I remember.”

“You are, too,” You smiled, following his lips. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

He hummed in response into the kiss, allowing his mouth to fall back into the same, hungry rhythm from the moment before.

Your hands played with the hem of his work shirt before your cold fingers left a trail of goosebumps on the tops of his hips, refusing to trail up until he did the same.

You have no idea how long you’d been making out for or how many times you’d both ignored the front bell ring. It wasn’t until you heard the familiar boyish giggle followed by the words “Turns out kissing is actually better without teeth!” that you both jumped away from one another, hastily adjusting your uniforms and finger combing through your hair just in time to look semi-presentable for your best friend and brother.

“Check this out,” Dustin grinned, pointing at the map Robin was now unfolding into the table. Both of them were too preoccupied looking at the map to catch your flushed faces and swollen lips.

“Starcourt Mall,” Robin smiled proudly. “The complete blueprints.”

“So, this is us, Scoops,” Dustin dragged his finger around the map. “And this is where we want to get.”

“I mean,” Steve cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool. He looked over at you to see that your wide eyes looked intently at the map presented to you. You were avoiding his gaze. “I, uh.. I don’t really see a way in.”

“There’s not,” Robin peeled off the top layer of papers. “If you’re talking exclusively about doors.”

“Air ducts..” You muttered, feeling your heart pound away nervously, but thankful for a topic you could throw yourself into. “That’s fucking brilliant.”

“I know,” She shrugged, walking to the wall on the opposite side of the room to grab a marker. “Turns out, this secret room needs air just like any old room. And these air ducts lead all the way..” She began to draw. “Here.”

The Russians’ secret room.

“I’ll grab the ladder.”

———

“Flashlight,” Steve ordered with the screwdriver in his mouth. “Y/N?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sorry,” You blinked, realizing you’d been staring blankly at his thighs. You handed him the flashlight.

“Thank you,” He chuckled, exchanging the wet screwdriver for the light before looking into the air vent. “Yeah, I don’t know, Dustin. I don’t know if you can fit in here. It’s, like… super tight.”

Did he have to say it like that?

“He’ll fit,” You patted your brother’s back. “You wanted to be an American hero, right? Well, here’s your chance, Mr. No-Collarbones.”

Dustin took the flashlight from Steve and climbed up the ladder.

“Uh, excuse me?” Robin asked as Steve climbed down.

“He’s got some disease. Chry, uh.. Chrydo, um.. something,” Steve looked at you for help.

“Cleidocranial Dysplasia,” You grunted as you tried to push your brother into the vent.

“Right. Cleidocran.. I don’t know. He’s missing bones and stuff. He can bend like gumbo.”

“You mean Gumby?” Robin offered

“I’m pretty sure it’s Gumbo.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” He quickly turned to you at the sound of your voice calling his name.

“A little help?”

“Oh, right, yeah.”

You both grabbed his feet again.

“Not my feet, dumbasses. Push my ass.”

“I’m out,” You dropped his foot. “I’m not touching your ass.”

“TOUCH MY BUTT! I DONT CARE!”

“I DO!” You shouted back. “I’ve washed your laundry, Dustin. I’ve seen those occasional skid marks-“

“Y/N! SHUT UP!”

“All I’m saying is that wet wipes go a long way-“

“FUCK OFF, Y/N!! STEVE?! PUSH MY ASS!”

“Well, I don’t wanna push your ass if there are skid marks-“

“I DON’T HAVE SKID MARKS! PUSH MY ASS OR I’M TELLING YOU-KNOW-WHO ABOUT YOUR LITTLE CRUSH-“

“OKAY, I’M PUSHING! .. Jesus..”

Robin looked over at you slowly, annoyed at the sight in front of her. You stared with wide eyes at the boy in front of you, following every order your brother gave him and using his entire body to try to push the boy in.

“Oh, my god,” She smiled. “You enjoying the view over there?”

You tilted your head at Steve readjusting his feet on the ladder, subtle muscles rippling through his calves and thighs. “Oddly enough? Kinda.”

“Come on! Harder! Push harder!” Dustin shouted.

“I am!!” Steve grunted.

“You’re playing with my legs!”

“I’m not playing! I have terrible footing-“

“COME ON!”

“I’m gonna just shove you! Ready?!”

“SHOVE ME?!” Dustin screamed.

“Ahoy, sailors! All hands on deck! Ahoy?!” An annoying voice shouted from behind you.

You and Robin turned around, a smile creeping on both of your faces as you watched the small girl continuously ring the bell on the counter.

“Get over here and serve me some samples!”

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” You looked at your best friend.

“Hey, kid!” Robin shouted. “How would you like a chance to earn free ice cream?”

———

“Erica, do you copy?” You’d all taken your positions on the top of the roof looking down at the Russian’s secret door.

“Mm-hmm. I copy,” The walkie in Robin’s hand responded. “You nerds in position or what?”

“Yeah, we’re in position,” You responded. “It’s all quiet here, so you’ve got the green light.”

“Green light, roger that. Commence Operation Child Endangerment.”

“Can we maybe not call it that?” You felt Steve lean up against you, scoffing at the girl’s words.

“See you on the other side, nerds.”

“This is such a bad idea,” Dustin muttered.

“What?” You and Steve both blinked, wondering if the duo had caught you earlier.

“… Bringing a child into our schemes,” He said slowly.

“You are a child, dingus,” Robin frowned. “But yeah, not the best plan we’ve had.”

“Hey! It was my plan,” You laughed.

“Explains why it’s such a bad one,” Steve teased, leaning further into you. “Then again, some bad ideas only seem bad until you do them. Then they turn out to be really good ideas. Like, really good ideas.”

You smiled softly up at him, feeling those same molten hot butterflies that have haunted your chest for the past few month. You’d barely been allowed to let the words register before your brother snorted.

“How profound, Steve,” Dustin muttered sarcastically before handing you his binoculars. “Truly beautiful. Have you ever looked into writing poems? You’d really give Edgar Allen Poe a run for his money.”

You let out a genuine chuckle before handing off the walkie and looking at the door.

“Jesus Christ,” Steve let out a scoff. “You have one toothless kiss and all of the sudden you’re a dick? Not cool, man.”

The boys continued with their annoyed conversation, only interrupted by the occasionally check in on Project Child Endangerment.

“All I’m saying is that you need to get your ego in check,” Steve continued.

“Oh, my ego needs to be checked?” Dustin snorted before the walkie went off.

“I’m in.”

———

“Hand me the box cutter,” Steve held out his hand before you gently placed it in his hand. He whipped out the knife before skillfully sliding it down the taped entrances of the cart board box, only to reveal a metal container within it.

He looked up briefly before he turned the notch at the top and lifted the lid. Four other knobs decorated the top of the box, smoke leaking out of the circular cracks.

“That’s definitely not Chinese food,” Steve muttered, setting down the titanium lid. “Uh, maybe you guys should, you know, stand back.”

“No,” You and Dustin both shook your heads.

“Just step back, okay?” Steve gently pushed at Dustin’s chest.

“No,” He protested. You simply stood your ground.

“Step back, Henderson. Seriously,” He looked up at both of you.

“No! No!” Dustin shouted. “If you die, I die.”

He stared blankly at the boy before looking up at you. “What’s your excuse?”

“What? You think you’re the only one around here who wants to be an American hero?” You smirked, earning a chuckle. You pressed into him, moving him aside as you twisted the knob and pulled it out of the metal box yourself. Compressed air wheezed out as you pulled out a container filled with neon green liquid.

He knew he shouldn’t be shocked at your bravery at this point, already having seen you put your own life in danger without so much as a second thought various times, but he couldn’t help but look at you in awe as you examined the liquid.

This was same the girl who only closed her eyes, preparing for death as a Demogorgon hovered above her.

The same girl who wandered out of the bus to lure in the Demo-Dogs, and later fight them off alongside Steve.

The same one that led the group straight into the heart of those monsters’ layer in hopes of sparing the lives of the town, not even hesitating to lift all of the kids out of the dangerous tunnels before you even thought about getting out yourself.

“What the hell is this?” You whispered, deep in thought.

Both of your thoughts were interrupted by the floor under you rumbling.

“Was that just me, or did the room move?” Dustin looked up.

“Booby traps..” Erica whispered.

The ground shook once more, erupting through the silence with a mechanical whirring.

“You know what? Let’s just grab that and go,” Robin took the container from your hands. Dustin ran over to the same buttons Erica had used to open the door.

“Which one do I press, Erica?” He called anxiously.

“Just press the damn button, nerd.”

“Which one? I’m pressing the button, okay? I-“

“Press ‘Open Door’!”

“I’m pressing ‘Open Door’!”

“Just open the- Press the other button!” Steve shouted, pushing him out of the way.

“Wait! Wait! I don’t think-“ You began. “Stop! It’s gotta be like a password or something!”

“Out of the way so she can push the button!” Robin tried to speak over the shouting. All five of you began shouting, offering suggestions and trying to make your way to the buttons before the door clanged firmly shut.

You all froze before the lights went out and the room began moving violently, sending your stomachs into your throats with a familiar falling sensation. Screams erupted through all of you before you felt Steve wrap an arm around your waist and pull you into him, stabilizing you both with his other arm.

“Look!” You shouted, pointing at the top of the room. He followed your gaze to see that the open space revealed that the falling feeling you’d all felt wasn’t feigned, the room was in fact moving downwards.

“Oh, shit.”

Chapter 5 ->

———

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Next chapter coming on MONDAY, October 10th at 9:00 AM CTD

a/n: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! ITS ABOUT TIME THESE TWO IDIOTS SHARED A FUCKING KISS 😭😭 THIS SLOW ASS BURN HAS BEEN KILLING MEEEEE

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[thefanficmonster]

It’s Only Fair

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Minor Spoilers for RE8: Village

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s all fun and games while Corpse is simping over Lady Dimitrescu, seeing as how Y/N herself isn’t immune to that woman’s charms. However, things get ‘serious’ when Corpse has to deal with his girlfriend making heart eyes at the hammer wielding final lord - Heisenberg.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for this incredible request - it hit close to home, not gonna lie hehe. Thank you so much for the opportunity you gave me with this request, I had a ton of fun turning it into a fic and I hope you have at least half as much fun reading it! Love, Vy ❤

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Heisenberg remind you of Lucas from the seventh game? I don’t know, all this speakers communication is giving me flashbacks I’m not too fond of. That guy traumatized me.“ Y/N shudders in her seat from where she’s observing Corpse’s gameplay while keeping tabs on the speeding chat, answering as many of the comments as she can.

“No idea. Never played the game.“ Corpse wheezes out, feeling the pressure’s on and working up a little bit of a sweat seeing as how this is the last lord he’ll have to battle before probably having to square up with Mother Miranda. The fact he’s running low on ammo has been stressing him out but luckily he has Y/N there to comfort him every time. She doesn’t even need to use words to do so or even ask him what’s wrong - just placing her hand on his knee allows him to feel relaxed and as though everything will be alright even though it probably won’t be if he doesn’t collect some money, ammo or supplies for making ammo soon.

“Wooow, fake fan, huh?“ Y/N pokes his side teasingly, “No, nevermind, I know exactly why you chose to play this, skipping all the previous ones in the process.“ She prods on, continuing to mess with Corpse who gives her a side-smile after having held on a still face for such a long time, features frozen in his focused and on-edge state.

He rolls his eyes, deciding to play her game, “Oh yeah? Why do you think that is?”

She scoffs, “Maybe cause thee other games don’t have 9ft tall vampire ladies? I don’t know, I’m just shooting in the dark here.” She delivers another poke to his side, giggling devilishly as she does so.

Corpse quickly takes hold of her hand, murmuring: “Maybe...” under his breath before bringing it to his lips and giving her knuckles a kiss.

Y/N wiggles her hand free from his grasp, mock-offended by his words, “Knew it! I freaking- Whoa, hello there, sir.” She cuts herself off as the game enters into a scripted cutscene, showing off the final lord in all his glory. “Who is you?”

“Y/N, Heisenberg. Heisenberg, Y/N.” Corpse laughs, “I forgot you missed the episode where he was first introduced.” 

“Damn do I regret that now.“ She whispers, eyes glued to the game instead of the screen of her laptop where she’s been fetching comments flying by. No one can blame the girl, she’s got a justified reason to be distracted. “Wish we met sooner, Mr. Heisenberg.“

Corpse finds his jaw on the floor in an instant as his head snaps to face his girlfriend, “Excuse me, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Y/N frowns, narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend as she finally brings herself to tear her eyes off the screen where now the game has been paused. “What? You now get to complain? After I didn’t say shit about you drooling all over Lady Dimitrescu? It’s only fair I get my own simp-worthy subject, don’t you think?”

Corpse rolls his eyes, “This deal doesn’t seem like it’ll benefit you much - I get a hot, classy and rich vampire lady and you get...” he motions at the screen, his face twisting in a displeased expression, “...him.”

“Oh trust me, I’ll be perfectly benefited, don’t ya worry.“ She shoots him a wink, cackling quietly yet evilly at the shock-disappointment het comment is met with on her boyfriend’s part. “What?“ She asks though laughter, “He’s hella hot!“

“Ok, that’s it.“ Corpse gets up, pushing the desk chair Y/N’s sitting in forward, rolling it on its wheels towards the door, “You’ll be in exile until this chapter’s done with. I can’t have you simping all over the place, it’s bad for business. I mean, if you fall for guys who look like him, God knows what people will think I look like.“

“Well, you do need a shower but...“ Y/N comments through a fit of giggles, kicking her legs as to get up and off the chair but by the time she’s able to react, he’s already rolled her out in the hallway and shut the door of the recording room behind himself as though she can’t just open it and walk back in. Which is exactly what she does, much to his dismay - but she only pokes her head inside, “You’re right, it’s bad for your image, so I’ll clarify.“ She clears her throat, raising her voice as for it to be picked up by Corpse’s mic from across the room, “The two men in question don’t look at all alike, folks! Heisenberg is way hotter than Corpse!“

“OUT!“ Corpse shouts, sounding as threatening as he can while laughing his ass off alongside Y/N who has followed his ‘order‘ and stepped out in the hallway where her laughter can still be heard. “Guess the longer I don’t shower, the hotter I’ll appear to Y/N. Remind me to buy myself a cape as well. Wonder how much factories cost around the West Coast...“

“COPYCAT!“ Comes Y/N’s shout from outside the door, causing Corpse to break out in another fit of laughter.

Never did Corpse think he’d be trying to cop the ranks of a video game villain but here he is, actually googling the price of cape coats and he’s never felt more bemused with himself - ok, that may or may not be a lie considering he’s really digging the coats he finds for sale online.

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[in-tua-deep]

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

[galacticlamps]

im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room. 

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Fic Questionnaire

@ford-ye-fiji tagged me to do this; thank you. ^_^

How many works do you have on AO3? 106

What's your total AO3 word count? 395,897

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 27 fandoms, though for most of them it’s only like one or two. They are Akatsuki no Yona, Bungou Stray Dogs, My Hero Academia, Hunter x Hunter, Tales of Zestiria, Tales of Berseria, Tales of Graces, Tales of the Abyss, Tales of Xillia, Tales of Hearts, Tales of the Rays, Professor Layton, Noragami, Pandora Hearts, Dai Gyakuten Saiban, A Series of Unfortunate Events, RWBY, Tangled the series, Doki Doki Literature Club, Ori and the Blind Forest, Vanitas no Carte, Genshin Impact, Kiznaiver, Boku dake ga Inai Machi, Kuroshitsuji, Ai the Somnium Files, and Charlotte.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? “Pictures, Posters, and Tender Beauty”, “Plus Est En Vous”, “My Reason”,  “I Am Here, Too”, and “A Bandage for my Scars, and your Heart” ...Not surprised that four out of five of those are MHA fics, but I will never understand how that Tangled the series one I did got so insanely popular..... maybe because the show director himself acknowledged it. 0_0

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to, though I have to shamefully admit I pick and choose which ones I respond to. I appreciate every comment I get, of course, every writer does, but idk, I just feel like a broken record responding to all similar shorter comments with “Thank you so much!!! I’m so happy you liked it <3″ or something like that... Is that cruel of me? >_> I also feel weird responding to comments on my super old stuff, because aside from a few exceptions, I don’t really like most of my old fics anymore alkgklflkkl and I barely remember them enough to be able to give a reasonable response to comments on those. Instead I just put all my energy into responding to longer, more detailed comments, because with those I actually have more to work with to say back... But again, I love all my comments!! I’m really sorry if I don’t respond to your comment, it doesn’t mean I’m not grateful, I just don’t know what to say back OTL

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Haaaah, there are a few, but proooobably the most angsty ending would be in “Smile, and maybe tomorrow, you’ll see the sun.” Since the thing is basically 12k words of agonizingly drawn-out All Might death... :’) Though I meant for the actual ending to be somewhat hopeful/bittersweet? and I surely have other ones that have more painful endings... But that’s the obvious one that comes to mind, since I’ve had multiple people yell at me for it. :)

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I can’t remember any instances of outright hate, but I’ve gotten some... odd comments every once in a while... Or just some annoying criticism that the person didn’t intend to be mean about, I don’t think, but that realllly wasn’t warranted. These comments are very rare though.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? Noooo way in hell lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen? ....I mean, not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yeah, I think I had at least one someone asked to translate into Russian, although they put it on FF.net lol

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... I really want to though. Multiple friends and I have planned different ones, but we haven’t gotten around to doing any of them yet because I’m into different fandoms atm and also dealing with health problems that distract me.... My ex-friend and I had a major one that was in the planning stages, but then she stopped being my friend so it never got off the ground. :’) I’m still upset about that...

What's your all time favorite ship? Mmmmm that’s hard; I don’t ship that much at all, so although I have a few favorite ships, one in particular doesn’t really stand out to me as my hardcore OTP.... Buuut I guess I would say Snow/Serah from FFXIII; I love ff13 so much, it’s so special to me, and those two are just the absolute sweetest and the heart and soul of the game 🥺❤️ I haven’t written anything for them or ff13 in general, but maybe someday.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I only ever have one WIP at a time, so..... Hopefully not my current long one, I am constantly trying to slap myself for thinking, intimidated as I am by it with all my ideas for it and all the research I need to do. :’)

What are your writing strengths? I think I’m really good at writing characters’ emotions... the emotions they show, and everything they’re feeling internally. I really like the stream-of-consciousness style of internal monologue I’ve started using within the last few years; I think it’s very... cathartic? In general I just think I’m good at writing softness, cause I definitely feel the soft feels rereading my stuff lol

What are your writing weaknesses? Motivation.... starting a writing session and not getting distracted.... ADHD.... what do I do. :’) Although I just said I like that stream-of-consciousness style I use, I often feel like I use it too much, or things get redundant, and too wordy and overwhelming, bah..... I’m also shit at just.... knowing things, like worldbuilding, but like, real-world stuff that everyone knows, but I’ve been living under a rock my whole life and not done a lot of things that are normal for most other people, so I struggle with that in my writing, which is why all my fics not-so-subtly eek around mentioning things like food and irl places and so much else, haaah.... now I’m got myself writing 1800s Victorian London; someone save me

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Ehhhh only do it veryyyy sparingly, like when a character is startled and might briefly revert to their native language, or something similar. I just did that in one of my recent fics, actually, and looked up a few Russian words, being super anal about getting it right.... and I still got a comment correcting my Russian, even though it was only like 3 words in the entire thing, with nothing else to say about the rest of the fic... it was a little frustrating :’)

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Akatsuki no Yona/Yona of the Dawn. That was the first series that really got me into fandom and making online friends, and gave me the courage to try writing fics; I’m so grateful to it for that, and it still remains one of my favorite mangas <3 Ah, to be able to pump out fics as easily and quickly as I did back then...

What's your favorite fic you've ever written? I think it’s still “Manufactured Hearts, Real Happiness”, the sole Tales of the Abyss fic I’ve written. TotA is my favorite game of all time, and I wrote this for a Tales big bang that happened a while back; it turned out much longer than I ever anticipated, one of my longest fics to date, and pretty much exactly how I wanted it to be, which is always the best feeling... I was so happy to feel like I did my favorite game justice. :’) Now.... my dream is for my current WIP to become my new favorite, if I can pull it off right; we’ll see :’)

Uhhhh I’ll tag @sixtyfourk , @cenally , @arcane-palm , @kyoukalay , @magicmetslogic , and @evevoli03 , if any of you want to do this~

[kaitosimp]

Hi guess who had another talentswap brainrot- anyways say hello to the ultimate musician rockstar!! 🌠💜 This idea popped into my head a few days ago and i just had to draw him

Idk how to draw guitars so that's why it's from the back okay, I also dunno how to draw jeans or pins or fingers or a lot of stuff so pls bare with me 💀 ANYHOW HAVE SOME FUN FACTS ABOUT ROCKSTAR!KAITO:

🌠 His stage name is The Luminary Of The Stars!

🌠 He got scouted by Hopes Peak a year into his career, he was given the title of ultimate musician but he always corrects it to rockstar

🌠 He owns a lot of merch of himself, he's his biggest fan honestly

🌠 Once he starts signing autographs/taking photos with fans he will literally try to get to every single fan, his bodyguards have to physically carry him away every time it happens

🌠 An energetic and passionate boi, every time he steps on stage he just looses himself dancing and singing, his concerts are so full of energy and hype it's unreal

🌠 He became an online sensation when a friend secretly recorded him singing and uploaded it, it only escalated when he uploaded more videos and people in the music industry began contacting him

🌠 He just loves space, it's right up there with his love for music and singing

🌠 He styles his hair up into a spiky hairstyle but by the end of every concert/performance it always flops down to the side of his head

🌠 He always draws a lil crescent moon and a star on his cheeks when he goes to perform

🌠 He does charity concerts a lot, he loves helping those in need

🌠 Crowd surfs every time, he always looses a shoe and some accessories but he doesn't care

🌠 He often ditches whatever boring thing his management team plans and just escapes to go hang out with his friends at the academy

🌠 He writes his songs on a galaxy print journal he's had for years, he finds inspiration to write when he's stargazing

🌠 He always offers the class backstage passes to his shows, they always go and that just makes him so happy

🌠 He has a space piece tattoo on his back; it's him inside an astronaut suit, holding his star shaped guitar with a colorful galaxy with lots of stars and planets behind him

[shiningjoy]

so i’ve finally watched s3 of free! and i wanted to put my thoughts in about it and hopefully also get some ppl to reply (respectfully) with their own input? also sorry if my knowledge of free seems spotty or incomplete since i don’t obviously have all free lore burned into my head so pls inform or correct me on anything i’m missing!

anyways before even watching s3, i noticed it was pretty widespread that s3 was rather disappointing or at least fell short to s1&2. and not only that, but i could see that s3 was likely going to be a bit disappointing just bc of how many less ppl were interested in it or even knew about it (ofc popularity=/=good but i doubted that the loss in numbers was just bc time had passed) sadly, the season actually exceeded my expectations of the worst.

first of all, i think way too many characters were introduced without any need of them being there. ofc not all of them seemed worthless to being there, but i think at least half of them didn’t have a need of being there (or at least didn’t need to appear as much as they did) or they could’ve at least waited to introduce them. don’t get me wrong, i loved characters like isuzu and albert, but with how little they appeared or added to the plot, i don’t think they were necessary at all. they introduced so many characters and kind of tried to forcefully endear them to us but it just seemed really shallow and random. i was really uninterested in the new iwatobi hs sc tbh (i love rei and nagisa, but i just don’t feel anything for the new members tho it was funny how the new manager is interested in fat instead of muscles) i don’t think isuzu was worth introducing, but i do get why they introduced albert at least. he was supposed to serve as their first rival introduced strictly from the professional world, and to emphasize there are many people above them not just in japan but the “world stage” but i definitely think they could’ve waited on that until the free 2021 movie tbh. plus i felt that any conflict he brought to haru was resolved within 1 maybe 2 episodes so yea they definitely didn’t really need him bc he hasn’t had much impact (yet) if anything, they could’ve just had him briefly appear at that training camp haru was at to race him and beat him to remind him that he still has a long way to go to get to the top. but all other appearances of albert were so extra and unnecessarily emphasized how inhumanely talented he was (the arcade scene, the thing with the chopsticks,etc) it just felt like really weak foreshadowing

also, the main conflict in s3 was just way too prolonged and solved unsatisfactorily. first of all, i don’t know why the blame seemed to be shifted by ikuya and hiyori almost solely to haru, like yes he was the one who quit first but it wasn’t an attack specifically to ikuya and the rest of them left too, so they should’ve held more grudges on haru makoto and asahi rather than just haru (or if anything at least have more blame on asahi bc makoto at least talked to ikuya beforehand) like did he just forget asahi also made a promise to not move away? honestly from the content they gave us, i’d argue that asahi and ikuya were actually closer than how ikuya and haru were, since i feel like most of the latter relationship was based on ikuya admiring harus swimming.

second of all, hiyori was another character i found so unnecessary and just weirdly protective over ikuya. he repeatedly gets in the way between them and ikuya when ikuya never said he didn’t want to talk to them (and it’s not like talking to them is gonna give him a health relapse) and so he just seemed to be there to prolong the conflict between them which was irritating. not even natsuya, ikuya’s actual brother, was that obsessive over him so i really don’t get hiyori. even sousuke, who was actually friends with rin before haru and the others were was not that possessive over rin, and there was actually pretty good reasoning why he had a grudge against haru (he didn’t see haru taking swimming as seriously as rin and thought that would cause him to hold back rin who looked up to haru, and was jealous that haru who had the talent to swim the world stage with rin wasn’t taking advantage of it when sousuke wanted to but couldnt bc of his injury) and like what right did he have to say to haru that his swimming hurts others when it didn’t even affect ikuya negatively (instead it inspired him and led to him wanting to swim like haru) like how haru originally thought it did to rin and how it did to asahi in high speed 2?

third of all, like i said before the way they solved the conflict between ikuya and the rest made little sense. like yes harus swimming is magical but i don’t get how swimming IM with him could instantly solve all the problems between them. (ik that it was based on the promise they made to race each other but i’ll get into that part and how shallow it felt later) if anything, i think what would’ve been more impactful was something happening to ikuya that made him realize that he can/should rely on/trust others, (maybe a more serious accident?) and enjoy swimming with a team and not just alone since his personal conflict was that he thought swimming alone was better than swimming with others when actually he was lonely (at least it was in starting days). and that wouldn’t even have to be with haru and the others that he learns that lesson. it could be with his own university team and hiyori, which would give hiyori a much better purpose of being there. (or they could’ve just not had him exist) if they were so inclined to have closure between ikuya and the other boys by having them resolve ikuyas personal conflict, i feel like it should’ve been at least haru AND asahi (maybe even makoto too but idk how thatd work when he’s no longer competing) racing him in the same race (if not them doing a relay but i guess they didn’t want to make it too obvious than they already were that they were just recycling the plot of s1 (lol)) if anything i think they could’ve even waited for them to reconcile while they were on the olympic team, but ig kyoani didn’t want to wait that long to reintroduce ikuya and wanted to use s3 to warm ppl up to the idea of ikuya being on the olympic team which they didn’t do very well considering how bad the development was

also what was with ikuya saying he swims his own way while obviously taking sm inspiration fron the way haru swam? it was so contradictory and even as kids haru told ikuya to swim his own way when ikuya told him that he wanted to be like haru and he understood that obviously but didn’t apply that to his actions at all? and i’m surprised haru was ok with ikuya blatantly copying him when i vaguely rmb that he’s been shown to get annoyed with even makoto when he seemed to be doing that?

another fault in having all these characters was that haru’s actual personality seemed to be taken away for the sake of these characters.

they wanted to establish a deeper relationship between ikuya and haru, but it just seemed so off the way they went about it in free! haru promising ikuya to race him just felt so ooc to me and had little emotional impact tbh bc of the lack of reasoning i felt haru had to agree to such a thing besides him promising ikuya that just bc he asked rather than bc he actually wanted to race ikuya. (while it took rin weeks to get haru to warm up to him and then agree to the relay, and seeing the process of haru getting used to the idea then openly enjoying swimming with the others was really touching) i think they just added that to make harus quitting have more impact on ikuya but i don’t think it was necessary at all when they already made plans with the rest to swim the relay again and win. if they wanted to make it seem like ikuya and haru had more of a one on one relationship with each other they should’ve gone into more about how haru saw the same darkness in ikuya that he did in himself like in high speed 2. make them bond over their similarities since i’m pretty sure ikuyas purpose as a character is to give haru a rival that is like how sousuke is to rin is; which is being rivals while being two of the same person. (in contrast to haru and rin who are very different and are rivals that inspire each other) but the way they try to establish the relationship between ikuya and haru pales sm in comparison to sousuke and rin that it’s a bit laughable, even more so in those occasional moments where they try to act like ikuya can measure up to rin’s impact on haru

another much more obvious event where haru’s character is forced to act ooc for the sake of the establishment of another character is with albert. yes, haru has grown a lot from the beginning of the series and has gotten a lot more open, expressive, and friendly, but that’s mostly just to the friends around him, but that’s not even to all of them (he still seems to find kisumi irritating and in TYM tries to leave at the sight of him lol) so him noticing, randomly approaching a stranger he doesn’t know a single thing about to help them order food and then even going far as to have lunch with him was the most blatantly ooc thing in the season. i think he may be polite enough to help him order his food but i don’t get why he even noticed albert in the first place. they should’ve just left him noticing albert to be at the practice race. like i said that scene was just there to emphasize albert’s skill with the chopstick thing but i think saying he was the world record holder and also being way ahead of haru in the race was already enough

besides haru’s character, another character i felt they did wrong was makoto. besides the plot of s1 being recycled, s3 makoto seemed to just repeat the development he went through in s2. by the end of s2, he already establishes that he wants to coach swimmers. and at the end of s3 he comes to that same realization but acts like it’s something completely new to him introduced by nao that he never thought of before?? the only difference was that he said in s2 he wanted to help kids realize how great swimming is, which was sweet and suited his personality, but in s3 he says he wants to do it for athletes on the world stage. tbh i like either way, and the latter one would help him be able to stand with rin and haru who in s2 he was afraid of being left behind by (hence why he swam the free against haru in s2) but saying that being an olympic trainer can also help him inspire kids and show them swimming is fun makes no sense. choose a path you want for the character already and make it consistent does he want to help athletes in the world stage or does he want to help kids fall in love with swimming? bc i doubt any kids pay attention to the coach or trainers in the olympics rather than the actual athletes so that reasoning like i said didn’t make sense.

and after haru lost what i think was the 200m (?) free at the All Japan Invitational, i found it weird that they had makoto there after to talk with haru and rin about the race? idk to me it just feels like it’s tradition for it to end up just being rin and haru talking when they’re struggling with swimming (in s1 was their fight in front of the tree that looked like the one by their elementary, in s2 it was the australia trip) his presence didn’t even feel necessary either, he just randomly interrupted the moment by saying his future plans after haru had that angst yell lol. it felt like just an appeal to mh shippers which is not a good enough reason at all

the last point i can remember at the moment is that the ending was so underwhelming. i don’t understand why they couldn’t have shown the ending to rin and harus 100m free race when the movie trailer already confirms that they’re going to the olympics. why cut to albert watching them on the tv?? all this build up to not even show the results of it? I think this ending really just confirmed that s3 was so unnecessary and just there to warm ppl up to the olympic movie but not actually give us anything good or plot moving

anyways sorry for this dump. besides all these criticisms, i want to say there were parts of it that i enjoyed, i just didn’t go into it bc this post is already so long, and me bagging on ikuya was not hate; i actually like him and the only time i teared up in s3 was in his race with natsuya lol. i’m afraid that at some parts i may have not expressed my thoughts exactly so please don’t be too harsh if you engage, but i’d love to hear other ppl’s analysis of s3 and the characters as well !!

[kitkatopinions]

Team RWBY doesn’t have the moral high ground in their spat with Ironwood. RWBY crit under the keep reading. If you don’t want to see any Ironwood defense or people talking about RWBY being questionable, don’t read this.

First off, I want to start by saying that I’m against Ironwood murdering, attempting to kill a fifteen year old, and hacking into Penny. I think that was a bad choice from the writers, but I can explain that in another post if people are interested. However, since the only member of RWBY and co that knows about that (if I recall correctly) is Oscar, I’m going to frame all of this from only their main argument; Ruby wants to keep Atlas, the Relics, and the Maiden in Salem’s direct line of fire until they can evacuate the people of Mantle who are getting attacked by Grimm. And Ironwood wants to save the Relics, the Maiden, Atlas, and arguably the world, despite the fact that he would be leaving Mantle without proper defenses. The show frames Ironwood’s choice as absolutely wrong, cruel, proof that he’s untrustworthy, and proof that he’s a danger to everyone.

RWBY would rather stand and fight, making a stand against an immortal witch, because they can’t save everyone in Mantle yet (thus leaving both cities in danger.)

In season eight, didn’t all of Team RWBY, JNOR, and the Huntresses essentially give up on Atlas though? Essentially saying ‘it’s too late for Atlas’ and choosing between A. Helping Mantle or B. Launching Amity? One could argue that knowing Ironwood would be launching defenses himself, they didn’t think they needed to help, but we see tons of soldiers launching themselves into battle, we see Grimm in the city, possibly killing children, and Ironwood told them that he and his soldiers were all completely exhausted. It’s possible RWBY and co didn’t realize this would happen, but they still abandoned an entire very large city, knowing that Salem was attacking, and knowing that the Vale authorities and the Atlas authorities weren’t enough to stop the attack on Vale that Salem wasn’t even a part of. Either they were blind and foolish, or they knew the attack would be devastating and didn’t do much of anything to stop it. Let me correct that. They actively stopped people from stopping it.

The fact that Team RWBY and co disagreed with Ironwood’s choice to abandon Mantle wasn’t my main problem, I actually like that. But they pretty much immediately abandoned Atlas themselves, which is just as bad and destroys their message of ‘you have to work to save everyone.’ They split into two groups, and the group specifically sent to help Mantle... Oh yeah, abandons it. I understand that they were trying to save Oscar and they were teenagers who were emotional, but JRY officially no longer have any moral high ground. They were fine with completely abandoning one city to save another, and then they were fine with abandoning an entire city of people to save one person. Team RWBY took the stance of ‘it’s better to send out a confusing message to everyone to warn them of danger and ask people who mostly couldn’t make it to Atlas in time to come and help us.’ This shouldn’t have ever even been on the table because at the tail end of season seven, they established Amity wasn’t nearly finished, and then pretended it was in the next season. However, they did retcon that to give RWBY and co a win. But when they manage to launch Amity, instead of doing anything to help Mantle or Atlas, three of our main characters sit and wonder if they should bother. They officially have no moral high ground. You could say they were trying to help save the world by getting the message out, but of course, you could say Ironwood was trying to save the world by getting the Relics and Maiden away from Salem’s reach, only while Ironwood was sacrificing Mantle, RWBN + Penny was abandoning Atlas and Mantle, and then when they finished their task, they did nothing more to help either city.

This isn’t a story about unity, this isn’t a story about trust, because Ironwood trusted our main heroes and they betrayed him only for the story to then frame them as Right and him as Wrong despite the fact that they don’t actually have a moral high ground in that fight, and Ruby was proven ‘right’ for their own mistrust by having the show make Ironwood a full blown child murderer. They warn the whole world that he can’t be trusted because he was doing the same thing they were doing in a way that arguably would save more lives. It’s very possible that if they were working together with Ironwood, they would be able to save everyone like Ruby wanted. But again, their group doesn’t have the high ground, because the reasons he doesn’t trust them and the reasons he tried to have them arrested are directly based on actions they did. Ruby led everyone into lying to him, and Blake and Yang went behind his back and divulged secret plans to Robyn (and she apparently wouldn’t stop talking about it.) They didn’t realize what it would lead to, but it was their actions that made James distrust them. Yes, Ironwood is also partly responsible because he wasn’t listening to them, but he’d given them the benefit of the doubt before. He’d trusted them, brought them into his plans, gave them their licenses, considered himself lucky to have them, and then they lied to him and went behind his back. This is why I actually like Yang arguing with Ruby, and I actually would’ve liked more of that. If the story was, Yang was accusing Ruby and Ren was accusing Yang and Blake, and some of them were saying they should try to reason with Ironwood and others were saying he clearly won’t listen, and Ruby was struggling to hold her own team together, it could’ve been a great consequence to the actions they took. Maybe Yang wouldn’t be being fair (since she’s lied too and let Ruby lie to Ironwood,) and maybe Ren wouldn’t be being fair (Blake and Yang were only trying to help,) and maybe it’s clear to the audience that James isn’t being receptive. But I just think that would’ve actually been more interesting than just Yang saying Ruby wasn’t that good of a leader and then dropping it and defending their track record to Ren.

Personally, I would really prefer it if this arc was centered around Team RWBY and co being confronted with consequences, but still coming out on top because (presuming that the show didn’t have James go way too far) they actually manage to break through to Ironwood eventually, helping him through his clear mental breakdown and convincing him to let them in again and join together to fight Salem back. Ruby learning that she shouldn’t have lied promotes the show’s pushed message of trust and honesty and sets Ruby apart from Ozpin (who had great reason for being wary, but still insisted that he was right to keep things from them and didn’t seem open to changing that.) Ruby and her team not trying to divide the people against a leader who’s only trying to do what’s right (again, this James wouldn’t murder people when he could’ve just arrested them,) would promote the show’s supposed narrative of unity against evil, with Team RWBY not willing to have an ‘us versus them’ perspective. And Ruby managing to talk Ironwood around and help him, thus managing the unity, furthers the ‘victory is in a simple soul’ message that the show has always tried to have. Making Ruby actually win through her emotions like they want by having her act in compassion to James would help their message, instead of retconning things to make her have a win. Having her be a leader who steps up and takes responsibility, who does unify people against Salem, and who maybe even leads the attack would make her a much more active and good protagonist. Honestly, idk if those are even good ideas. I’m just disappointed.

Just to clarify in case it wasn’t clear, 1. I’m not trying to hate on the mains. Every good character has flaws and makes mistakes, I just don’t like how the show frames them as morally superior, in the right, and totally ready to lead while ignoring the flaws. 2. I’m not saying that James is perfect. He’s a deeply flawed character and I like his gray ‘ends justify the means’ character. But his obvious PTSD and paranoia are mental problems that should be treated with more sympathy. 3. I also am not saying his actions of senseless murder and hacking Penny are alright. I think they’re horrific and actually move him out of a position where he can be redeemed (unless they really go hard to make the actions a product of a semblance or subtle mind control or something.)

[katewaliss]

! write with me or fight with me!

you either die by my sword or the most painful head canons imaginable! *merida vc* choose yer fate

just kidding!

 hey there gaymers, i am crissy! i am 22, live in pst, go by she/her pronouns and honestly would very much like a distraction from life -- preferably in the form of 1x1 and rp in general. i am currently doing online school plus trying/failing at adulting, being a crazy pink haired college student living on microwave dimsum with my crazy fluffy demon cat, but that still leaves me with a lot of time and what better way to spend that time then crying and dying, am i right, boys? 

so without further ado ( adieu? idk gusundheit ) here are a list of discomboblulated plot things that have been floating around in my head that i might be fun to do ( plot fragments, ideas, ocs, fcs i like, settings, genres etc )! i’d prefer a message if u liked any of these in the inbox or dm form, my tumblr ims are open and my discord user is mr. worldwide#2918 ( pitbull supremacy ) but if ur shy i will message u and be annoying! 

lastly: i prefer hcing in the dms to replies, however i will do replies/ask memes slowly, i don’t really like making blogs and prefer google docs/discord and i ask ( gently and respectfully ) that minors do not interact.

thank u and happy hunger games! xx

COLLEGE TOTALLY SPIES -- i was really obsessed with this picture right here and i thought that the picture would be a good premise for a little four person group based on totally spies. i was thinking that these three college students/young adults some friends maybe not some enemies or just on completely different ends of the social agenda get bonded together when they accidentally end up roped in a top secret spy organization that is fronted by a record store. the details and flesh of the plot i think would be cute to figure out all together maybe in a google doc or a big discord so we can make the rp to perfect world building specifications. right now i have two spots open! 

my friend lexi over at comradc has taken the cool goth asian girl and is using lyrica okano

i am playing the freckly backwards hat lesbian in the red polo named aj mccallis and i think im using diana silvers ( not sure might switch to tati rodriguez )

we also have the cute blond girl w the dyed hair who is giving me kind of like sydney sweeney energies, blonde girl maybe like lalisa manoban/jinsoul,

and we have the rad black girl with the bandids who i would only accept black fcs for for such as diamond white, ryan destiny, salem mitchell, 

i’d prefer if this stayed kind of sapphic and female and enby friendly. we can def make make npcs and characters but i’d prefer if the characters looked like they do in the picture ( minus the white girls who can be racebent as long as there are vibes ) mostly bc i want the poc people to stay the correct poc! but yeah! if u like this message me specifically!!!!! seperately and hit me w a role ud like maybe an fc an idea anything < 3 im working on a google doc and discord sever

- i really want to play a himbo skater boy evan mock like its my dream i know nothing abt him other than he probably goes by something like mouth or juice or tris or dex or dante but !!!! he has buzzed hair he buzzes designs into, does stick n pokes, hates cops, will kiss anyone, likes to mosh at house shows, smokes a lot and sounds like crush from finding nemo, probably ur parents worst nightmare if im honest rodrick heffley energy -- adopt him for any plot

- i also really am obsessed with simay barlas who is my mascot rn -- i want to play her in some sort of dark academia setting with like gossip girl blair waldorf energies lu from elite and have her be really mean and cold and pretentious and play the cello and probably have secrets and be uptight idk the name mallory is resonating hard w me ( we could even do a gossip girl the secret history type group if people liked that ) 

-ok i also really really want to play streak aka silas montgomery who is like very like sidekick best friend to the golden boy main character, does a kick ass goat impression, class clown, relentlessly hits on like the most difficult person in school, does crazy things for laughs and attention, just wants to make people happy, only wears hawaiian shirts, finger guns, is going nowhere in life, his dad is probably the dean at whatever prestigious school also he is very very depressed and drinks often! love u! a I Feel Like Im The Worst So I Always Act Like Im The Best electra heart baby PINTEREST

also yes his hair is pink reg verse he did it on a dare but hp verse he did a potion wrong and it never came out

SOMEONE DO A LADY HANNIBAL WILL GRAHAM RP KILLING EVE RP W ME! i made this will graham adjacent gal for a genderbent hannigram rp her name is bisexual disaster enida johnson and sometimes goes by needy or will bc her middle name is willamena! has basically all the will things wears flannels is a mess but has a bunch of cats instead of dogs in her woods log cabin and im using crystal reed bc it fits perfect in my head idk if u like her hmu hit me w a lady hannibal PINTEREST

other stuff

ok i really want to do a princess and knight plot but with knight zendaya and princess anya taylor joy ???? ALKHALKSHALK LITERALLY HELLO literally modern or like dnd style i do not care but know i love dnd! we could make it like them goin on some skyrim quests like hi

speaking of dnd and skyrim if anyone wants to do like anything based in dnd stuff or skyrim stuff i am DOWN

jennifers body plot!!!! maybe set in college!!!!! sounds spicy i will do a f/f or m/m version leggo leggo 

UNTIL DAWN UNTIL DAWN!!!! i wanted to do a little like 6 person or mumu until dawn thing where everyone either makes new characters or characters based on the existing six! i made a girl adjacent josh character named riley PINTEREST who i love very much ( fc might change im thinking maybe medallion rahimi ) pls hmu if ur down

i looooooove breakfast at tiffanys!!!! like i really love breakfast at tiffanys we love a call girl broody author ship and i want to play a mishti rahman holly golightly type character so so bad 

pygmalion plot!!! basically like an author and the main character of their book comes to life and the book character is probably from a different period of time or realm so doesnt know how to do modern 2020 stuff like microwaves and the tv! and then maybe they get sucked into the characters book world thats written by the author and have to navigate that! enchanted! w the kdrama! energy!

GOSSIP GIRL PLOT ENERGIES

any sort of the secret history murder society until dawn ahs horror type setting i am on a kick rn 

i still really want a deaf sailor and siren plot bc that is so spicy or even like anything involving sirens like maybe one thats like vegetarian and doesnt like to eat humans so it ariel rescues one and keeps it safe!! or like only men are susceptible to the sirens song but aha! i am a woman! Romance!

anything in the realm of percy jackson i love mythology lets go i kind of want a echo narcisuss plot and i want it to hurt me so bad 

i will do harry potter stuff but only if its completely removed from the current canon like years in the future no existing families also maybe beauxbatons salem and drumstrang plots bc thats what matters

iiiiiiiii really like anime so i will do anything kakegurui, soul eater, ohshc

i kind of like grew up on the hunger games so i will gladly take any hunger games plots like young effie and haymitch is spicy or like a career tribute and one of the weaker poorer distracts enemies to lovers leggo

i have a kind of oc that had their parents die in a factory gas leak that was the governments fault and it turned them into a vigilante assasin that is slowly picking off bootlicker government people one by one pretending to be one of them until bam! gets attached to the rich asshole son or daughter of the head hauncho or one of the higher ups ... drama

rich little celebrity fussy wussy being held captive by the mafia and the tired stoic mafia guard but they fall in love 

i kind of like any plot that involves one person that is really loud or angry or dramatic or whiny and the other one is kind of sweet and gentle or does not talk much idk make brain happy 

speaking of!

no nonsense law student studying abroad in a european country and an artist there falls in love w them and is all romantic and gush and is like ur my muse!!! and they are like Go awAy and they explore the city together and themelseves its nice!

i want to be an avan jogia super villain idk why i need to but i do 

not to be a disney adult bc i am not but anastasia princesses dont kiss kitchen boys 

rival cheer captians? best friends brother? pop princess celebrity singer and like antiestablishment really angry rockstar in a publicity relationship? broody detective and sunshiney diner person that works at the diner they eat at everyday?

idk i will think of more hmu these can all be made f/f or m/m if they arent 

[thotforbaku]

Hi! I wasn’t sure how to send a request, but could you write a one shot for shouto x fem! reader? Maybe they’re on a date or in the dorms (idk aha go crazy) and he’s super gentlemanly and soft! Ft. Class 1-A catching/following them! Thank you so much!

hello! yes, this was the correct way to request, haha. thank you for being my first request! i hope my writing fulfilled your request to your satisfaction. if not, lmk asap! i’ll try to change it around for you :)

word count: 1.6k

»»——⍟——««

Contrary to popular belief, Todoroki was actually quite perceptive. He knew he didn’t have the best track record, i.e. his hand crusher moments and the whole “Midoriya being All Might’s secret love child” conspiracy. Regardless, he still picked up on the smallest things, especially when it came to his classmates.

When Kaminari forgot his homework, volts would zap from his fingertips as he drummed them on his desk nervously. When Mina was eavesdropping, her feet would be pointing towards whoever she was listening to. Dark Shadow snuck out occasionally during class, signaling that Tokoyami was running low on sleep from studying the night before.

And then there was you.

He hadn’t particularly tried to focus all of his attention on to you initially. No, you were just another one of his classmates. He wasn’t interested at all, nor was he interested in anybody, really.

It was only when he encountered you at the sports festival that he took a liking to you.

Not only was your quirk powerful, but you yourself held an immense presence nobody could ignore. Your water manipulation quirk was controlled well by you, and you utilized it to the best of your ability. Besides this, however, he knew absolutely nothing about you.

You were an enigma, to him and everyone else around you. But he bet no one wanted to know you like he did.

He wanted to know you from the inside out, from head to toe. He wanted to know your favorite color, food, and movie. He wanted to know how were feeling on a daily basis. He had a desire, no, a need to know all of these things, yet he only knew one: you were tired.

You were absolutely, oh so very tired.

Now, anyone would have been able to tell this, if they took a good look at your swollen eyebags or your lethargic behavior. Todoroki has been seeing you train for hours on end, ever since Aizawa-sensei and you discovered your new ability: controlling water within one’s body. This allowed you to try and control one’s body movements against their will; it was an extremely manipulative, powerful technique.

But it was taking a severe toll you. Todoroki saw the aspirin you would take daily, and heard the extra strength pills rattling in your bag. He would see you pinch your eyebrows together in pain and screw your eyes shut whenever Bakugou would start screaming his head off. He wanted to help you, somehow in some way. He felt that you needed a break from your constant repetitive schedule of school, training, extra training, and sleeping. He wanted you to relax, to be able to talk to someone, and to pretend the world is stopping. He wanted to be there for you, for when you crash and fall down to help you back up again. He wanted you, unconditionally.

So imagine his surprise when you said yes to him asking to hang out.

It may have taken a little insistence on his part, and explanation that yes, he wanted it to be a date, but he did it. But now that you actually said yes, he honestly had no clue where to come from here.

So he pulled out the big guns.

At 5:00 in the evening, two hours before your training would end and come up to his room, he decided to start preparing food in the kitchen. Sure, it was a date, but he knew you were too tired to attempt to exit the dorms after a long day. So, he had the amazing idea of a movie night within his own dorm.

Of course, the food wasn’t anything too fancy, in his eyes. The only food he knew how to make really well was soba. Cold, soba.

But he made it damn well, and he knew it.

Todoroki had whipped up the soba immediately, and placed it within bowls to bring it up to his room later. He ignored the side eyes and surprised looks he received while he was moving around in the kitchen, and shuffling through the pantry. He only looked up when he heard someone clearing their throat.

“So, Todoroki-kun, you seem real busy.... Got a hot date?” Kaminari joked, grinning lazily as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Kaminari stopped at his straightforward reply, his grin frozen on his face, as he processed Todoroki’s reply. The common room went silent, as they also heard the conversation take place.

“Y-You’re— who?” Kaminari stuttered, eyes bugged out as he splayed out his hands in front of him. He opened his mouth to reply, but saw you shuffle through the front doors, hunched over like you had the world’s weight on your shoulders.

“With her.” Todoroki responded as he made his way towards you. He silently slipped your backpack off your shoulder and onto his, balancing the food on one arm and taking your hand onto his.

“How was training?” He asked, rubbing a thumb gently over the side of your hand, looking at your from the side.

“Tiring. I want to flop onto a bed and never get up.” You responded quietly, sagging even further.

“That’s exactly what you’re about to do.” Todoroki gave you a small smile as he unlaced your fingers from his, and unlocking his door.

“Huh?”

“I figured you’d be too tired to try and leave the dorms today, especially after all the training you’ve done. I know you’ve just been wanting to relax, so I figured our date could just be watching movies together.” Todoroki explained as he laid out the food on his desk and unfolding his futon.

“I.....” You seemed to trail off, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at the ground. Todoroki hesitantly looked at you, afraid of what your reply was going to be now that you weren’t immediately answering. Did he do something wrong? Were you not a fan of movies? These thoughts raced through his head as he was cursing himself for not being more considerate.

“This is really thoughtful of you Todoroki-kun. I was worried that I wouldn’t be up to speed for our date, but to know that we’re just having a quiet night in the dorms? I... really appreciate it.” You looked back up, a tired but wide grin on your face, your eyes crinkling. He let out a small sigh of relief, and sat down on the futon, pulling out his laptop and setting it on his kotatsu. He patted the seat lightly next to him, smiling as you sat down, your knee brushing his.

“That’s good to hear. And, since we’re on a date currently, I think I’d feel more comfortable with you calling me by my given name.” He told you as he ripped open a bag of chips, passing it to you. You nodded in thanks, and quirked your lips in thought, mulling over what he said. You then nodded, seemingly comfirning your thoughts.

“Okay, Shouto-kun. What do you have planned for the night?” You asked, taking a chip and placing it in your mouth.

“A Studio Ghibli marathon.” You paused at his reply. He looked at you puzzled. He seemed to catch a lot of people off-guard today.

“.... I haven’t watched a Miyazaki film since my childhood..” You sighed, grinning at him happily. He stared at the grin painted on your face, burning it into his memory. He saw you smile twice now in one sitting, and he would cherish it for a long, long time.

“I did a good job of choosing the movies then, didn’t I?” He asked you, softly smiling as he offered you a bowl of a soba, already breaking his chopsticks in two. You clapped happily as his perfectly broke, passing yours to his to repeat it.

“You really did, Shouto-kun. I really can’t thank you enough. I was surprised when you had asked me out a date, I didn’t think you cared enough to talk to me.” You confessed, fiddling with a string on your jumper as you glanced up at him. He nodded simply, ducking his head to meet your eyes.

“I can see why I’d come off that way. I definitely wasn’t the most approachable in the beginning of the year. But with everything’s that happened, I realized that shutting everyone out wasn’t the best thing to do. And ignoring you, when I had a clear interest in you, definitely wasn’t either. You intrigue me so much. I want to find out and know every little thing about you. Will you let me?” He asked you, sincerity bleeding into his tone, his eyes darting all over your face.

“Of course.” You clasped both your hands over his, squeezing tightly. He let out another short sigh, shoulders sagging forward.

“Then let’s start the movie, shall we?” He leaned forward, and tapped the space bar, letting the blue light of the intro shine brightly onto your face. He smiled as he felt your head rest upon his, and brushed his hand over your knee.

It was finally his turn to try and unveil someone and their secrets. And it just so happened to be you.

____________________________________

“....Was someone at the door, Shouto-kun?”

“No, I believe the rest of the class is downstairs.”

Kaminari sighed in relief as Jirou continued to hold one of her ears the door, relaying the date to the rest of the classmates silently standing in the hallway.

“I can’t believe he bagged her before me.” Kaminari cried, blowing his nose into his sleeve. His classmates cursed at his noise, and scattered, scared of getting caught. “Wait, where are you guys going?”

“...Are you sure there’s no one there, Shouto-kun?”

[friiday-thirteenth]

guys im bored hear abt how i broke my arm. TW for broken bones, dissassociation, vomiting, drugs and needles. Also this is like. Therapy. Idk.

weird thing about it was that i was feeling intense happiness, because I’d just confirmed my classes for the next year and i was jsut. Really happy.

So i did this little twirly thing??? idk. Anyway, my ankle went out under my, i put my hand back and crack.

I know there was a definite seperation between the before and after of this. Like, the adrenaline made it feel like I was aware of everything.

After I fell, and after the crack, I stood up fast. I didn’t realise my wrist was fucked until I saw it - and it wasn’t a compound fracture, the skin was still unbroken. But it looked fucking nasty. It was supposed to be held straight, but the wrist was shifted.... up. And it was floppy, but I could control it if I wanted to be in immense amounts of pain.

I started walking over to my P.E. teacher. I said his name once, really loudly - and then he didn’t hear me, so I kept walking. I was cradling my wrist against my body at this point, and I just needed to move. It helped distract from my pain at that point.

When I reached him and he saw my wrist he was like fuck. He didn’t say it, but I could see it, and he said, “ Okay, we need to get you to the sickbay and call your parents.”

Okay, this happened before that when I was walking over. One of the people who was around me had walked beside me and was asking questions, and I straight up said, “Ruby, if you don’t walk away right now, I will either scream or burst into tears and scream, please go away.” I couldn’t handle anyone being near me.

Then when we were walking off the turf (where we were doing P.E. that day, as opposed to the gym.) one of the guys saw my arm and was like holy shit and I’m 99% sure I just looked at him with a really worried look. My face was going white I’m pretty sure, which is weird because I’m naturally flushed quite a lot of the time.

We had to walk up stairs. That fucking sucked. The pain was fine whenever it wasn’t jolting me, and we were walking fast, so you can imagine how I was trying to be very careful.

I’m 99% sure I was terrified that I was going to tip over again, and that would’ve hurt. I was just focusing on staying on my feet.

We got to the office/sickbay and they sat me down. I made myself get my retainer out of my mouth because it was.... foreign. I was going to - I’d say have a panic attack, but I’m not sure that’s the correct name for it - do something bad if I kept it in, because there was something already wrong with me and I just couldn’t handle it.

Also I asked if I could swear. Like, “Um, would it be okay if I, uh, swore?” and the person in there with me looked at me like wtf child and said i could.

Later, one of the teachers who’d walked by told me that they had no idea I had that filthy a mouth on me. Swearing helped a lot.

They made me put my wrist in this makeshift sling thing, which made me want to fucking cry. They sent someone to get my bag, and I told them to leave as soon as they’d gotten it, because I couldn’t handle any of my peers seeing my like that. probably because I felt extremely vulnerable.

I never swore at anyone. I can remember not wanting to, because I didn’t feel that they deserved it? Like, I didn’t want to take my pain out on them. Very strange.

They didn’t give me any panadol or nuramol or nurofen (pretty sure that isn’t how you spell it but eh). I can remember that, because they said that it might react badly to whatever drugs they gave me in the hospital.

When my mum got there, we went over to the car and I put my seatbelt on myself bc im independant like that, before I rolled my head back and scream-said to my mother to hurry up please I feel like I’m dying. Because she was talking to my teacher.

At that point I was being a melodramatic shit, because my pain level I think? was a four, unless I moved my arm, then it jolted into a six.

Anyway. I sung/murmured hamilton songs really fast as we drove the like, five minutes to the hospital because that helped distract me from the pain.

When we got to the hospital and the emergency room, we ended up waiting like 20 minutes which were all hell. My dad came at one point and I told mum he needed to leave because I couldn’t handle having him there. Not for any bad reasons, just that I fucking hated dealing with people and if I had to deal with him I’d cry.

I didn’t cry at any point during this, which was weird. I didn’t like that.

Someone gave me two panadol or something, which didn’t help in the least. They got mum to fill out an acc form - I can remember her asking me things. The pain was bad, like a constant throbbing that was there. I’m pretty sure I started not being there at some point during the time I was waiting. It was easier than dealing with it all, because there were people staring at me and my arm and I wanted to scream at them because none of them were as bad as me and why the fuck are you staring at me.

Anyway. When the nurse came - she was really nice - she got me into a room and to sit on a bed, and then we waited for what was maybe half an hour? There was an old guy dying or nearly dying in the room beside mine and I felt like.... weird because of it. It didn’t feel right, that he was dying.

When they got me a doctor - after me scaring the shit out of a nurse who I thought was a doctor  (i still cringe at the memory) - he ws really nice. He was wearing a haiwaiian shirt and was supposed to be going home, and I was quite lucky that they’d caught him as he was leaving.

They got me on some nitrous oxide to calm me down, or to take the pain away.

Now here’s where thigns get a little less linear, I think.

I can’t remember when they put the I.V. in, whether it was before or after the x-ray. The x-ray was hell, because they made me put my munted arm flat on the cold surface of whatever the fuck they were using for the xray. I had dropped the nitrous oxide tube thingy out of my mouth at that point.

The nitrous oxide was nice. It made me feel tired, and when the dude stuck the needle in my arm and then put the I.V. in, I didn’t care about it. I hadn’t been worried before, perse, just uncomfortable because of the whole broken wrist dealie.

Anyway. X-rays. They said I’d broken the tip off my radius. Then the I.V. Then they got an anathesiologist to come in and explain what was going to happen to me.

This whole time they’d explain exactly what they were going to do, because I asked. A lot. I needed to know what was happening so that then I would know what was going on and that was jus tme reiterating what I’d just said ahaha

Anyway. He explained the options, and in the end they decided to give me ketamine.

For those who don’t know, ketamine is a horse tranquilizer. Its also fucking nasty, coming back up from it.

Mum signed a waiver stating that the hospital wasn’t responsible if I died or something.

This was because, as they explained, ketamine shuts off a part of the brain. If too much of it is used, then you die because it shuts off your breathing, your heart, etc. They had shit that would stop that, if anything bad happened. They put electrodes on me at one point. At least, I think that’s what they were called.

They also might’ve upped the dosage, because what could’ve happened was that they fucked up setting my arm the first time, and they had to cut it out and redo it. If they’d redone it, I’d’ve had to go into theatre.

The whole time this was happening I was terrified I was going to out myself to my mum. I have an odd track record of saying weird shit randomly while I’m in pain.

Ketamine also takes you into a dreamland, which is why drug addicts can get addicted. You basically lucid dream, but way more intensely than normal, if you’ve ever ahd a lucid dream. Or it can take you into an absolutely hellish nightmare scape, if you aren’t thinking good things when you go under.

I had neither. I didn’t even know I’d gone under. What happpened was that they put the ketamine in the I.V., and a minute late I was out.

It felt like blinking. When I opened my eyes, it was like in movies where they blink and its a new scene each time.

Blink. They were moving me to the x-ray. My head ached. My eyes wouldn’t focus. Someone was talking about their car.

Blink. They were moving my arm.

Blink. They were moving me back to the room I’d been in.

Every time I moved my head, it just. It was on another side. I couldn’t focus my eyes for three quarters of an hour. I felt tired, and sleepy, and like shit.

Thye got me to sit up at one point. I nearly vomited. They gave me a pill. It was chalky and the taste was nasty.

When they got me to move from the bed to a chair, I vomited.

I hadn’t eaten for longer than six hours, at that point. It was bile coming up. It burnt my throat. I couldn’t stop.

When I forced myself to breathe again and stop vomiting, they gave me water and left me for a minute. They had people they needed to get in the room, I think, so I was trying to move. They got me into a chair in a bit that was in between the x-ray room and where I’d been. Mum talked with someone else who was there with her daughter.

The cast was big and white, because of the type of break. It was heavy and they put me in a sling when I left. I was able to walk straight. They’d been concerned I wouldn’t be. I’m pretty sure I thanked everyone who’d helped, if I saw them.

Mum took me to get subway. Then we went home.

My sibling had broken their arm around about a year and two weeks before I’d broken mine. Their’s had been the two bones in their lower arm. They’d had to go into theatre for it and have trauma around it. My parents won’t get them to go to therapy and they won’t go willingly

When I got home, they had a panic attack or some shit and started screaming at me when I was short at them. Fuck them for that.

I went into a room and started messaging my friends. i videocalled them and showed them my arm. i was acting all stupid and weird about it by being really silly and stuff. I didn’t feel like any of it was happening, even though I knew it was. At some point I found out I had the electrode thingies still on me. I pulled them off.

People were so concerned about me, it was weird. I ended up responding to them individually as opposed to not. Someone thought that it was a joke and that everyone was lying about it. I gave them a play-by-play and they believed it then.

Even weeks after it happened, it still felt vaguely not real. The first time I cried about it was seven days after, when I tried and failed to make homemade macaroni and cheese.

I learnt that the chunk of bone beside the wrist - the one down at the top of the ulna - had completely seperated from the rest of the bone.

All the wrist bones and muscles had pulled back, which was my wrist had been so weird.

Everyone who helped me was really nice. I’m glad that they were nice, because I got told later about doctors who were bitches and were in the emergency department. Also got told that ketamine was really fucking weird for them to be giving me.

I got prescribed Tramadol. Mum and dad wouldn’t let me take any of it. my sibling had been prescribed it when they’d broken their arm. they’d taken it. Apparently tramadol can put you in a depressive state.

i don’t know what would’ve happened to me if I’d taken it at that point. even before the arm my head was in a bad place. I’m better now though.

I pushed through the pain on panadol.

I broke my arm on a friday. saturday, sunday, I spent at home. Monday I went to school. Felt like passing out at some point.

Yeah, that’s basically what happened when I broke my arm