#idk why but the mental image is hilarious to me

[ybcpatrick]

best form of enrichment i've found recently is daydreaming abt what songs my wrestlers would go fucking hammy and cheese to in the car

[miidnighters]

Funnily enough, it's not the unsolicited advice that Callisto objects to. It's the fact that it's just plain bad advice. "You want me to get a bike, in New York City?" Her tone implies what a dubious decision that would be. "All you see on Twitter every other day is some delivery kid getting hit by a taxi. Cannoli's all over the pavement."

That why would you possibly refuse such a thing look is succintly met with the like I'm going to let you steal my shit eyebbrow of disbelief. "You're not going to. Listen, I appreciate the help - the water and the snack bar and like. Legitimately catching me when I passed out. But I'm not just going to hand over my bag to a stranger." They've completely stopped now, because Callisto is looking at Cross with hands on hips. "Okay, Wikipedia. My injuries are old, I'm not going to make them worse by carrying a backpack." Probably. "Are you a doctor or something?"

"You should get a bike or something," Cross says, blind to the impropriety of unsolicited advice. She doesn't even really think about it, or actually expect anyone to listen, but it comes out nonetheless. "Sometimes that's easier."

Cross turns to her with a look that says something like why would you possibly refuse such a thing, then shakes her head. "Obviously I don't have to. I'm just going to." Cross holds out their hands and makes a give it here gesture, eyebrows slightly raised. "Uneven weight distribution makes it harder to compensate for an injury, and any added weight is more strain." That's just sense. People ought to listen to sense. The assassin doesn't seem to intend to take no for an answer either way; they're just going to argue.

[yuri-is-online]

Ok so jadeyuu! Jadeyuu? Jade is an eel. Jade has never been in a relationship- never even got the urge. So he's kinda panicking when he finally snaps out of his little domestic daydreams only to realize. He has no idea how to actually get to those daydreams.

How do humans court? Fuck humans for a second how does his own species court??? He only know surface level (ha) shit he never paid attention beyond that cause it was "irrelevant" (he wants to go back in time and punch himself so bad. For several reasons).

So now he's trying to figure it out but heres the thing, he only has super cheesy media to work with. Bro is taking it so seriously but some of the stuff is just???

Why is sharing clothing so important?

Are flowers really that big of a deal?

Why do all these couple fight all the time? He doesn't want to fight with yuu he just wants to feed them mushroom dishes and cuddle and "cuddle" He doesn't want to fight! Why do couple always fight in these movies is it necessary?? Is it a love language??

What's a one night stand?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WITH SOMEONE YOU JUST MET???

... has yuu had any? They told him once that most of their past relationships were "situationships" and he had to laugh and pretend he wasn't about to simultaneously raise hell and profusely thank your exes for fumbling so hard.

What's this about your father's consent? Does he need to get your father's consent? Would any parent work or just your father? Do you even like your father- shit you haven't even seen your father since you've been here and he's a literal world away. ....shit.

Someone stop him he's about to create an entire world wide scheme to invent otherworldly communication just to ask his not-parners dad if he can even court them in the first place-

Oh it's not that important in modern day?? Oh. Thank goodness.

At what point in this can he ask you to be his officially?

At what point can he start indulging himself in all his somewhat ugly jealous urges in public without scaring you off?

Would it be considered a "red flag" to ask you to only talk to him? He knows it is he's just holding out hope that maybe you'll agree to be kept in a large terrarium of his and be completely his and-

You would never agree to that. Oh well, an eel can dream. If Ace gets all clingy with you again he's going to break his arm off.

How long does he have to wait until he can show you to list of names he's already thought about giving your future children?

CAN HE PLEASE JUST HOLD YOU??? PLEASE!!!

Idk where I'm going with this I just got the mental image of jade watching titanic (something something convenient potion accident) and hurriedly scribbling down notes every time something romantic happens and I wanted to share that image.

I like the idea of Jade doing research about human courtship. I really really like it I think it's so stupidly funny to picture Mr. Suave, one hell of an eel butler reading human x merfolk fanfiction and going O: that's me (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) Or watching romcoms and taking notes that's hilarious. He watches titanic and nods "yes this would never happen with us, I would simply drag them into the sea and then we would live together happily ever after while everyone else drowns- ah or is that too fatalistic?"

But yes he doesn't know much about courtship in general. He can "flirt" but its not intentional on his part, he's just being snarky. But with you he has no idea what to do. The clothing thing makes no sense to him, is it to stake a claim? Then why not bite you? That would get the point across faster... is it a him thing to want to do that or is it a mer thing? One night stands are too complicated, there's too many ways for that to go wrong the only reason Jade could think to have one is if someone has information you want to steal and he's not interested in obtaining things that way. They don't owe you anything that way.

Jade with soft yan! urges he tries to tamp down because he knows they're not healthy but he just wants to protect you form the dangerous that exist in the coral sea. Even if you become a merfolk you still used to be human, soft, fragile, and so naive... really there's no end to the things that could steal you away from him. Like Ace! Now if you could please look the other way while he disposes of this pest- he jests. He would never rob you of your friends, everyone needs them and he needs you to need him the same way humans need air.

Also the sheer irony of Yuu complaining all of their past relationships being situationships when that's what they have going on with Jade right at that very moment. Maybe that was intentional huh Jade ever think of that? Maybe the pretty human was huffing at you and batting their eyes because they are frustrated that history is repeating itself and the sketchy guy their friends don't approve of is being unclear about his feelings again. He figures that out once he finally finds out the definition and he feels so so stupid

[katzirrart]

Sometimes the girlies judge you for fumbling with your girlfriend njkfgh

fucking njkgh Shadowheart just wants the moping vampire out of her home.... I love that my first doodle of Shadowheart is the GRUMBLIEST GIRL.

CONTEXT:

I think a lot about time when it comes to ships, and that doesn't stop at this one :u

Literally it's like... over a few months that BG3 takes place? The timeline MAKES SENSE, but is also insane by in game time, omg. And I've thought a lot about how like... idk, Ophira had time after Zerxie to kinda just be herself outside anyone else and figure SOME stuff out.

But Astarion kinda makes me sad a lot, because he's never really... just himself. Singular in a way, if you romance him. He's a magistrate and who knows how that life was before Cazador, but past that... he's just kinda an additional piece to people. You can help him kinda get his bearings in the world, and figure out what freedom and all that looks like to him, but he's still never like... on his own.

It's the old wife who never knows life outside marriage thing? Something my mom talked a lot about when I was a teen. Lamenting she never knew life to figure herself out.

So it's kinda a thought to me that at some point maybe they take a break for a year or so, let him figure some shit out, let her figure some shit out. They're both kinda messes in their own ways, and it's like ya'know. IT'S NOT LIKE COUPLES DON'T DO THAT SOMETIMES. But I think it'd do some good. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that unu

But the idea of him ending up at Shadowheart's house either in the beginning or towards the end of the period because Ophira was like "She might be a good friend to talk to about this kinda thing, given her own shit, man." [also because like bb boy and bb sparkle girl were my two closest companions and Shads is BB SISTER MATERIAL TO ME] but she's so hilariously mean and blunt to him in the overworld....

I can just see her giving him so much shit. But also him whining about the situation or something, and getting the girls on his case about it jndgkh

Lae'zel only knowing part of the issue and being like "Where is she, did you fuck things up? How could you disgusting idiots fuck this up..." but the also additional mental image of him showing up alone and Shads being like "Alright.... where's the one I like though? Why isn't she with you?" as a joke njfkgh

EVERYTHING TURNS OUT FINE. EVERYONE IS HAPPY, AND IT'S FUNNY HOW MUCH THEY BOTH MISS EACHOTHER THO TO ME.

[homunculus-argument]

Your post a couple days ago about reading things you acknowledge as silly nonsense and not the Height Of Intellectual Literature, and letting yourself enjoy it anyway, unearthed a memory for me that I just. I'm sorry, I just need to share this.

So, there was a phase I had, years ago now, where I for some reason ended up somewhat regularly reading James Bond books whenever I was in the mood for something light and kinda dumb but entertaining to read (I was reading Outlander and A Song of Ice and Fire at the time as well, never finished either of those series tho, so I kinda ended up reading lighter stuff in between those long books to relax and let my brain take a breather if that makes sense). I honestly couldn't tell you which books I read, and it wasn't in any particular order, it was sort of like, starting with whatever my dad had in the shelf and then continuing with whatever the library happened to have. Some of what I read were the original ones written by Ian Fleming, some were by later authors. Idk, point is, it was light spy-adventure nonsense I read when I didn't have the energy to think too deep about what I was reading.

Sorry about how long I took to get to the point, but, anyway. There was this one James Bond book I picked up mostly because hehe suomi mainittu. Not by Fleming, one of the later authors, I remember neither the author name nor the book name and can't be assed to google it rn. Anyway, a fair amount of the plot of that book took place in Finland. I could not say for the life of me what the actual plot of it was, just that part of it was set here. I remember like exactly two details about it, and both of those I only remember because I thought they were funny back when I was reading it.

One of those details was that there was a bit of Bond's internal monologue at some point that was just him basically being a whiny bitch about the fact that he thought the sort of thick winter clothes you need for Finnish winters didn't make him look sexy

The other is that there was a scene where the baddies tried to kill him by ??? crushing his car (while he was driving on some little road somewhere in the middle of nowhere) between two lumiauras??? like i just. that seems like a highly impractical way to attempt to kill anyone, but sure (ja sori siitä et mä en ny suoraan muista et mikä helvetti lumiaura on englanniks, mut sä ny puhut suomee kuiteski)

Idk you talking about silly stuff in books just unearthed this memory for me, no idea why, and i just needed to share it with someone

It's a snow plough. The english word for lumiaura is snow plough. Also that mental image is hilarious.

[kindred-spirit-93]

spooky stuff

howdy yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) and idk what im doing with my life any more. bold of me to assume that i ever did. in other news:

my latest hyperfixation so to speak is watching daz play through horror games lol i have no idea why its so entertaining but it is. the jumpscares be jumpscaring and i dont have to do any of the work to play so its a win win!

im currently sick to my stomach after watching one lol buuuuuuut i also have a new short story idea hehe!! is more comedic, and honestly seems to me more doable than the falcon & flower.

f&f really deserves better writing lol and ive been thinking how to make it a sensible length without cutting out too much lore that it gets watered down, but at the same time i cant afford the time or braincells to mentally write and im kinda stuck. so idk maybe ill work on chapters that eventually lead somehwere? ill get back to it as soon as my latest batch of braincells hatch 👍

--

til then lol this new idea is still halfbaked but it made me laugh so here yall go: broke uni student moves to be closer to campus. finds super cheap place to rent and its literally the perfect fit. knowing her luck all too well mc goes and checks the place out, bc surely theres something amiss.

nope! everything as far as her untrained eye can tell is normal and accurate to the advertising, its just that someone died there and lots of people werent comfortable with that. and its no problem for her so she takes it.

after a lil housewarming party consisting of her and her parents lol, some thrifted furniture and an unholy amount of rugs and blankets, mc begins to settle in and all that jazz. her marks are going up, shes sleeping better, its all great. until it isnt

weird stuff keep happening around the property and shes like oh. okay? and moves on. (unbothered queen. we stan)

quick detour; idk how well id be able to write considering this may be my first project, but it would be hilarious i think if shit got progressively weirder and more insane and shes like: *sips apple juice* welp. ive got a quiz tomorrow aint got time for this. or eh that kid had it coming or better yet: is that kite just suspended there? oh would you look at that it caught fire in mid air. cool. i honestly dont know which is funnier

boom the house is haunted. something, or rather someone, has been leaving her signs in the bathroom using the soap, moving around the plates and cutlery, ruining perfectly good upholstery (THAT WAS 73% OFF). its a huge invasion of her privacy and shes having none of it. also she doesnt believe in paranormal nonsense. this is more of an inconvenience to her than anything else. she yells at whatever the fuck is in her walls to show themselves before she contacts HOA >:(

with a pop a very pissed off ghost materialises muttering something about no need for escalations and that bitch gwennifer. she makes the ghost clean up the stuff they knocked over and what have u. and then shenanigans ensue i guess lol

--

this whole story started with me coming up with a scene where mc makes like direct eye contact with the ghost and plays ayat al kursi. it was significantly funnier in my head but the mental image stuck.

also just for kicks she throws (half assedly) some zamzam water at the ghost and it goes right through them. guys do you see my vision?

--

"i am here to make your life a living hell.

so not halal mode

one to match the gruesome horrors that lead to my demise...

brotha eugh

...so that my soul can finally be laid t- are you even listening to me??"

authubillah we have seen the evidence

"??????"

--

memes for the soul. ill get back to this maybe perhaps one day. goodnight its one am lol and i have a long day ahead of me tmrw :')

the post from the tags lol >:]

[nickernacker]

Hello this is my presentation on what animals Les Mis characters would be except I'm only 500ish pages into the book so it's very short list at the moment

I decided almost IMMEDIATELY that Valjean would be some sort of owl, despite what I believe is the most popular interpretation being him as a lion. I was thinking of that one chapter in the book where he's referred to as an owl (the one called 'a nest for owl and wren' I think??) and decided yes absolutely that is 100% it. So then my first thought was a snowy owl, since they're pretty fucking big and also white (I'm not too bothered for hair colours and what have you in the rest of these but for Valjean it seemed pretty important) but the snowy owl look just wasn't doing it for me!! (something about their look was a little too intense, I guess??) And then! I remembered the barn owl (which is, by the way, probably my favourite owl). And yeah I might be a little biased towards them but they have a sort of gentle look while still being, y'know, owls (notoriously pretty dangerous predators). And of course, owls are nocturnal.

Also, just look at them!! The vibe is perfect, I'm certain of it.

(And!! While most barn owls have that light brown colouring, there have been white ones!! So the hair colour problem is all good)

Javert was a LOT more trouble (which I wasn't anticipating, after the easy pick for Valjean). He HAD to be some sort of wolf/dog-adjacent animal, that was the one and only condition (though I did briefly consider a horse. Just because he has a horse in both the 2018 BBC series and the 2012 movie??). A hyena was my first immediate pick (yeenvert <3) but it wasn't QUITE there and I was struggling desperately for some other idea. AND THEN! I decided, if no horse, why not a vaguely horse-shaped dog? Which led to a short list of hounds (scottish deerhound, irish wolfhound, ibizan hound) which I sort of juggled in my mind for a bit before finally deciding I kind of liked the scruffy deerhound vibe. They're very sweet dogs, as far as I know, so in that respect maybe not so accurate, but they definitely have the capacity to be foreboding in the same way most hounds have. They're also pretty tall!

(And yes I KNOW I said I wasn't fussed for colours but the grey on these guys is actually perfect for my mental image of Javert so! It's a happy accident!)

I knew pretty immediately that the bishop would be some sort of rooster. I have absolutely no reason for this other than the vibe was too perfect to ignore (though I think I might have been inspired by some gif of the bishop an old Les Mis movie where there were chickens in the background). So then I went on Wikipedia and ran through a list of roosters until I found this magnificent little beast, a faverolles rooster. I found on my not-so-extensive research journey that these guys are super gentle and apparently very hilarious, which, yeah, that's absolutely him <3

The bishop's sister (Mademoiselle Baptistine?) also gets a chicken. Because yeah they're related but also I just think it really fits her. Or maybe I'm biased, idk, I do really love chickens. I don't really have much to say about her which I am so so sorry for because I do really like her!! But she's a swedish flower hen

And Madame Magloire was going to be a chicken (before I gave that to the bishop's sister instead) but I later landed on some sort of donkey. Again, I haven't got much reason for this but the vibe is there!! I promise you!! I switched between a bunch of different donkey breeds (all of which I had never heard of before but I absolutely love, by the way. Go check out a provence donkey) and then i found the bourbonnais donkey, which is just perfect to me. If I have ever been certain of anything it's this.

(There's a disappointing amount of donkey photos on the internet. Where are they all!!)

I was going to save Fauchelevent for a different post but i really like him so he's here too. I was pretty sold on him as a sheep at first, and I very nearly left it at that but then!! I learned of a cashmere goat, which was not only a lot closer to how I imagine him but also they look cool as hell!! So I thought, okay, that was easy, but something still wasn't sitting quite right. The goat idea was absolutely perfect, but the cashmere goat was too far in the direction away from the sheep idea (which I'm still very attached to). So instead I went for an angora goat! Which apparently do something pretty close to gardening for a goat (eating/destroying nuisance plants and improving pastures) so it was almost too perfect to pass up. Also their horns are pretty awesome

(It's very funny to me personally that Valjean is an owl while Fauchelevent is a goat. Yes, we are brothers, the bird and the goat. Makes perfect sense)

I was going to give Cosette one in this post too but I'm not 100% sure of hers yet!! So she'll have to wait. I apologise deeply.

[catchyhuh]

Sometimes what people wear as pajamas is a weird indicator of personality so... What’s your opinion on their pajamas?

it took less than a second for me to go “how do pjs indicate personaliOhhh wait yeah that does make sense” as I realized I was folding up multiple adult size cartoon character onesies for my own pajama drawer. let’s get into it BUT UH DISCLAIMER i mostly talk about patterns in canon i’ve noticed with just… tiny personal thoughts in here. less headcanons more breakdown. NOW let’s get into it

lupin:

two modes-- soft, fuzzy button up set, or just his underwear. somewhat depending on weather, DEFINITELY depending on mood. i mean you don't wanna get COLD and he got those nice purple heart pajamas with an actual, legal purchase, so it'd be stupid to waste them ALL the time!

there could be a joke here about how he’d probably just sleep naked if the gang weren’t constantly groaning in annoyance, throwing pillows at him begging him to put on some damn pants, but the reality is… he can’t really sleep like that. it’s uncomfy :( he tried :) but it’s uncomfy :(

jigen:

you aren't ready for this. or you are. you likely are, given i had to choose between like 3 different pictures i have of him in fits like this

and i’m dead serious. big ass ankle length nightgown with matching cap. no, really. these are his actual pajamas. they’re comfy to him. i can’t fathom why, maybe the fabric is just equal parts breathable and warm, maybe he did this once for the bit and realized it was the best sleep he ever had, WHATEVER, these are his pajamas, and no amount of teasing by now will stop him from changing into these before going to bed

i have to respect them for committing to this bit, because you think, oh, he’s the coolest. he wouldn’t have lame pajamas. no he does. very lame. hilariously so. arose such a clatter type shit. nighty night scrooge

fujiko:

now, she would LIKE to say big, fluffy, fancy nightgown… but the texture feels bad scrubbing against your skin all night, so she usually just opts for a simpler nightgown. or, like lupin, just her underwear. obvious fanservice aside she’s clearly comfy bundled up like that so you show em how its done fujiko

no matter how cold it gets, she can never really sleep in pajama pants. shorts, maybe, but anything that reaches past her knees feels restrictive, hence why she normally just goes for the nightgown. she doesn’t even kick in her sleep idk why it’s such a big deal!

goemon:

i had to look through a bunch of stuff because i was like. wtf. what DOES he wear to bed. he can’t just be wearing his usual clothes all day and night, it would be uncomfortable. so i’ve come to the conclusion that these virtually identical clothes here are just made of a softer material, designated as goemon’s jammies

or he just. sleeps in his underwear. it really is comfsorry the mental image of the camera panning across three beds where they’re sleeping in their underwear vs jigen still rocking the victorian fit is killing me a bit

zenigata:

have you noticed he sleeps with his hat on more than jigen does. isn’t that fucked. jigen has a special sleeping hat but the alleged NON-hat-obsessed guy is the one sleeping in it. due to his… hectic routine, he never really has a default type of pjs. either he just sleeps in what he was already wearing (c’mon, man) or he’s packed like, some pajama pants, or (take another shot because this series loves this gag) just hits the hay in the heart print boxers. jigen really is a scientific outlier.

USUALLY if he’s bothering to actually change, it’s just the undershirt he’s already got on and some comfy pants, the kind you can get at like walmart for five bucks, so if he’s forgotten to bring them it’s no biggie. damn anon was right this IS a personality indicator!

BONUS YATA!:

as we have oft discussed, yata is a man we have all met at one point in our lives. so, yata has the basic boring man pajamas. t-shirt that’s too big for him but he forgot to return it, and seasonal pajama pants. the pants always seem to mismatch the season, he wore the snowflake ones during summer, and now he’s wearing the halloween ones in winter?

the shirt itself is also mundanely mysterious. nobody can really place the logo on it, and he doesn’t really remember where he got it from either. it doesn’t bother him too much until it’s pointed out to him

[chibishortdeath]

Simon derangement page number um I lost count!!! Time to explain things and transcribe my handwriting lol >:3

I put a photo of the whole page here because some things were hard to single out into separate images :)

A pose study! I was trying to work on foreshortening with that arm position. Just imagine that he’s talking to someone off screen and sweating cause he’s been working out or something d(^^ )

Two of these are based on some reaction image doodles I ran into on Pinterest that I’m pretty certain originated on tumblr lol. The bottom left one says “*realization*” and the top right one says “deranged —>” with the arrow pointing to our Mr. Deranged in question, Simon. The Simon and Richter one is kinda poking fun at the general Smash Bros fandom depiction of them and is also based on a doodle I saw on Pinterest.

Bottom left says “he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces” lol. Dw! He is your friend! I just forgot to write that part :). I hope the tbh creature doodle is appreciated, I’ve drawn him like that more times than I’d like to admit—

This one is based on a photo of this guy (gotta be a Snapchat one idk I’ve never had Snapchat) with a monster energy and caption “KILL”. I think it fits the vibe.

Bottom left says “monsert!”, a silly bastardizarion of “monster”, again the energy drink. I feel like Simon would be the kind of guy to have caffeine at like 6PM and then wonder why he can’t sleep later lmao. Or worse have caffeine to avoid sleeping 💀. The other two doodles I drew because I woke up one morning and immediately imagined Simon with raccoon stripe hair for no reason.

This one is based on a tumblr post, it says “(Simon) the psychiatrist diagnosed me with divine madness” “(Christopher) any other diagnosises you’d like to share?” “(Simon) Autism”. That ending panel of Simon saying autism ended up a sticker in a discord server I’m in lmaooooo. Also I need to have more Simon and Christopher interactions cause I think they’d be friends aaaaa

The top doodle is based on a Simon MMD model I found of him as a Vocaloid and I thought that was hilarious and banger, we need more people making fun crossover stuff like that in the world lol. The bottom one is just him vibin(?). Idk he seems pretty distressed, but that’s his usual state so uh—

Another little pose doodle. I think his preferred sitting position is like criss cross applesauce on the floor. I don’t think he’d sit normally in chairs at all. I am now picturing him leaning a chair back too far help 💀.

This one is based on this meme that’s kinda poking fun at the art styles commonly found in yaoi with the last one being left blank for putting whatever you like there and implying in a comedic way that it’s ‘straight man yaoi’, I’ve seen ones with things like football players or idk Breaking Bad put there lol. Basically I saw the meme and realized that all the different styles kinda lined up too well with some Simon designs and well yeah this happened 💀💀💀. So we got Ayami Kojima’s design as “straight woman yaoi”, the NES cover art/X68000 as “gay man yaoi”, Simon’s Quest as “lesbian yaoi”, and Captain N thrown into “straight man yaoi” lmaooo.

Okie that’s all for this one, I will make more inevitably lol

[avionvadion]

Hi I just wanted to say that I read the second part of the Lucifer stuff (idk what to call it; a fic? one-shots? simply ideas? idk what to call it, so the general "stuff" it is lol) and I gotta say that this was my favorite part of the whole thing: "Lucifer just took in a deep breath, brought his hands up to squish his cheeks, and let out a screech before running circles around the room. Eleanora squawked, turning to watch the devil king lose his mind. “Why, why, why, whyyyyy!? Why did you tell her you had a surprise for her!?” 

“...So you couldn’t duck out?” 

He skidded to a halt, the floor squeaking against his heels, and he looked to see her grinning goofily at him, pointing at one of the many piles of rubber ducks that were in his room. “Uh-huh. I see what you did there. You think you’re hilarious, don’t’cha?” 

The pun, the mental photo of Lucifer screaming and running like around like a chicken with its head cut off, the callout for using a pun? Priceless. Love it all to death. I also had an idea for you, if you want it? I just had this thought of El, in a moment of both utter self-loathing and sheer bravery, decides to confess to Lucifer using a song. The one in particular I was thinking of? "Door" by I Don't Know How But They Found Me. Idk, I was listening to the song, and I felt it sort of fit them? Or the vibes, at least. Just the mental image of her looking at him and singing the line, "If you just tell me what you think about me, I can collect all my things from the floor" gives me goosebumps and also doe-eyes because I'm imagining Lucifer basically in shock the entire song (it's a relatively short song don't worry abt it) because he's also deep in self-loathing and doesn't understand what she sees in him because he doesn't really see it in himself. I dunno, do with the idea what you will *shrugs*

Either way, I absolutely loved this and can't wait for more, if you decide to write more for Lucifer! :3

“If I’m out of line, just show me the door; I promise you I won’t come here no more. If you just tell me what you think about me, I can collect all my things from the floor. Promise the next time you take my hand… is to show me the door.” I HAD TO LOOK THIS SONG UP AND NOW MY HEART IS IN PIECES. OOF.

IT SUITS THEM SO WELL???? El has already had a couple moments of, “Frick, was this out of line? Am I crossing the line by singing this song??? I’m just a human, he’s the devil, I probably shouldn’t be saying all this stuff but I wanna help him” which can be kinda seen in Luci’s pov whenever she hesitates before singing or resting a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

And LUCIFER HAS MADE A SHOW OF TAKING HER HAND. Hell, EL has made a show of it.

I dunno why, but the hand holding is becoming a very prominent thing between them, haha. Like when he sings to her and brings her close to dance, or when she grabs his hand to stop him from anxiously nibbling his fingers to bits and when she was singing to him to calm him down. It’s just turning into a thing.

I feel like the song might actually happen after they’re “unofficially” together??? Because El doesn’t really know what he’s thinking or how he views her. Basically a, “What are we?” Kind of moment where it’s obvious to everyone except themselves that they’re dating/have feelings for each other.

Also!! I have posted the two chapters to Ao3 so it’s technically a fic now, lol.

I’m working on the next chapter right now. We be getting El’s pov now!!! (But it’s still in third person because it started with third person and I must commit to the bit, even though it feels super weird)

Oh gods. I have this image in my head of El, like, kissing the back of Lucifer’s hand (or even just his fingers in this super gentle and sweet way) before whispering the song and trying not to cry because WHAT IF REJECTION!???? And Lucifer is just stunned silent, and when he doesn’t react or say anything she goes to pull away but he snatches her hand back and starts his own song. Whatever that is.

I have a bit of an idea for it.

“I think I love you~? A feeling I thought I couldn’t have again, lost amongst the despair. I think I want you~ in ways I doubt that you know. You helped repair~ a bond that was once nearly broken, and… I don’t think I can let you go. But if this feeling is love, I… just don’t know.”

Buuut that’s all I got so far and it might just change.

Anyways. Yee. :3 El and Luci are chaotic beans.

[sea-adhesiveness537]

Emmet is not ok I make myself sob daydreaming the period Emmet was without Ingo

Space-time distortions open up in Hisui due to the rift, bringing with them pokemon and objects from other places and times like we see in canon. This is because whenever a distortion opens, a mirror distortion opens in another space/time. A pokemon/object will go back to its original space/time once the distortion closes, unless it leaves the distortion in landed in. If a pokemon lands in Hisui and leaves the distortion in Hisui, it can no longer return, even through another distortion. It's stuck

Ingo was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught in a mirror distortion that sent him to Hisui. Humans are not supposed to travel in space/time and it disoriented him, causing him to stumblebout of the distortion, trapping him in Hisui (this is the same reason pokemon in the distortions act aggressively). The trip through dimensions humans are not built to travel through also scrambled his head up causing his amnesia

Lady Sneasler ends up finding him passed out in the snow and takes him to the Pearl settlement. She's usually not a people person but for some reason she takes a very strong liking to the strange man who can't speak a word of the Celestica language

Irida has only been leader for 10 months at this point since her father and Sneasler's last warden passed in an avalanche. She's only 15 and is expected to confer with the clan elders for all big decisions but she's kidna tired of them not respecting her as a leader so to prove her agency she goes against their wishes and accepts Ingo into the clan

Once Ingo learns the language and settles in the clan she also gives him the title of warden as he is the only person Sneasler has shown any interest in since her last warden died

(Irida: I'm so stressed but it's not like a new warden for Lady Sneasler is just gonna fall from the sky

Sneasler: Hey Irida look at this weird guy I found that fell from the sky

Irida: Are you fuckin-)

4 years after arriving Ingo meets Akari and quickly bonds with her over their mutual amnesia (difference is Akari's was on purpose from Arceus but they don't know that. Arceus doesn't know nor really care about Ingo's whole situation) and they get to be found family bc I love them

This has ended up very long and about Ingo instead of Emmet so I'm gonna send another ask about Akari and another about Emmet

SU! Cynthia: "You were once Volo, and then you turn into me? Right?"

:0 Idk why, but Dawn/Akari throwing hands with Cynthia years later is SUCH a hilarious mental image XD. Also, I can imagine our Cynthias just talking and being curious about one another xndjddmidjr.

(SU! Cynthia: "So you were once Volo, but then you turned into me? Am I getting it right?"

Your Cynthia: "It's complicated. How did you lose your, er, parts?"

SU! Cynthia: "Oh, it's a very long story, but it's always started with a mouse. :)"

Yours: "Okay...")

Also, I'm glad Emmet turned out mostly okay in the end (from what I'm getting) and reunited with his bro. Because my friend's Emmet just straight up turned into a fusion of Giratina 💀 (the transformation was gradual from what I got from their rambles).

Again, really interesting lore! I do have a question though. What do you do with certain lore bits with the anime if you were to incorporate little snippets of the other lore bits from it? Because some of it can be contradicting or different at times with Ash in the picture.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Saw your recent post and this is a request for you to ramble about why you enjoy horror movies so much & which are your favourites & why. I love rambles.

Aaaaaaa this might be very long so just a warning in advance!!!

Okay so why I like horror: honestly I've always just loved horror. Like I remember as a kid being very fascinated by urban legends, and ghost stories and those totally-not-fake-totally-real videos and images of ghosts and other supernatural stuff. And over the years I just became obsessed with horror movies especially! But I think what really appeals to me about the genre is that anything can be made scary. Because really there is horror in everything imo. Even the most normal, mundane thing can be captured as the most terrifying thing in the world. And horror can also blend so well with other genres. Horror comedies are obviously very popular. So are dramas that have a lot of horror elements. Horror can be romantic, funny, action-filled, adventurous just as much as it can be scary. It's just such a joy to see all these different genres mixed together and to see how even the same or similar topics can be made in vastly different kinds of horror. Also like people will find the same thing scary for different reasons and in different ways, which is, again, what makes stuff like this so fascinating to see.

And another thing that appeals to me about horror is that horror reflects the society of the time it was made in really interesting ways, and can critique it in such interesting ways. Like nowadays there's quite a few horror movies about trauma and mental illness, and I think that reflects how nowadays those topics are more talked about so they're also portrayed more in horror, and shown how scary it can be to live with that. While in the past mental illness was used more as a way to demonise a character.

That's just the current day example, but every decade has had horror critiquing the way society is and showing the fears reflected at the time. Like, in the US, there was a rise in slasher movies/movies about serial killers after they were everywhere in the news. Or how in the 2000s there was a rise in brutality and gore because of 9/11 and the brutality of real life people kept seeing, which was reflected in the movies (I'm sorry this is more US centric. Unfortunately a lot of the horror movie stuff that is most available to me to read/watch tends to be more US centric). Of course this doesn't mean all horror movies do a good job at social critique, there are unfortunately a lot of horror movies that play into stereotypes. But a lot of them reflect something in society one way or another and I think horror is the most fascinating way to explore all these different themes!

Idk if that made any sense lmao.

Anyway aome of my favourite horror movies and why:

My fav horror film of all time is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) I could straight up write a whole separate long post just about why I love this movie so much. But aaaah I've never seen a movie that does horror so well. Like I've seen 554 horror movies and this is still easily the scariest one I've seen. It captures the fear and tension of the whole situation so well. Its an isolated setting. The product design is honestly *chefs kiss*. And like this movie feels like a terrifying fever dream and looks exactly like it. I've only seen one other movie that manages to capture the nightmare fever dream feel to a similar extent, but the movie was literally meant to be a ripoff of Texas Chainsaw Massacre lmao (the movie is the original Toolbox Murders. It's not very good overall but imo that feeling I'd there. Though fun fact: the Toolbox Murders remake was directed by Tobe Hooper, who is the director of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And I think that's hilarious since the original Toolbox Murders was a ripoff of his movie)

Another fav is Saw (2004). I can't even begin to describe why I adore Saw so much, but just look at it! The concept is cool and terrifying. And the movie is just damn impressive. Yeah you can tell it had a small budget and they shot the whole thing in like three weeks, but imo it's such a great and unique example of indie filmmaking. It also does a great job at making you care about the characters and so seeing all that happen to them is even more devastating. Also I would kill for Adam I can't even lie.

Honestly my "favourite horror movies" list has over 60 horror movies in there so I don't think I can ramble about every single one. But I'll ramble about what they're like at least.

A lot of my fav horror movies tend to fall in the slasher subgenre and honestly idk why. I just find slasher movies so fun to watch. They're so campy and ridiculous. But also when they're done super well, they make you abnormal forever btw

But also yeah I love psychological horror/horror with a much deeper meaning. I'd argue that every piece of art has a deeper meaning, even the shitty stuff, but there are movies that put in a bit more effort into it than others. And I do enjoy reading analysis of those movies and trying to think about them myself in that way. It's a really cool way pass time and to grow more insane about horror!!

Idk what else to say rn, but if you want to know more please ask. I love talking about horror literally whenever

[megaderping]

since kotone is in pq2 with minato’s team, it’s not unthinkable that people from different timelines might meet in the labyrinth. so, i’m imagining p4au akechi meeting og akechi, and OGoro wondering who tf these people are until his suspicions of different timelines converging (??) are confirmed

tbh it’s both hilarious and sad to me, cuz i think he’d feel a tad bit bitter deep inside, like why didn’t he get a support network in his own timeline too? oooh i think he’d experience many conflicting emotions at the same time

(side note, this makes me wish there was a pq with third semester goro. idk if that’d be worse or better emotionally, but it’s a need. might write it myself if i’m not fed, who knows. i’ll throw p4au goro in there too, if i have your permission)

Honestly, I think a lot about the logistics of Q2 in my AU and I had the funny mental image of P5-era Akechi from the AU meeting his P4 self and the stupid shenanigans of the younger Investigation Team seeing him with the Phantom Thieves and Ren just being so amused at how cute Akechi was as a tween and both Goros just being so embarrassed. When your boyfriend thinks kid you is the cutest thing and Futaba starts trolling because of course she does and also, hello Ken, you are very smol. ...and Makoto Yuki in the flesh, and Shinjiro in the flesh, and also there's an alt timeline with a totally different SEES leader? Like by P5, he's met the Shadow Operatives, so seeing them as teenagers and Ken as a younger kid would be so surreal, but then there's the Investigation Team and himself but smaller and now the Phantom Thieves have to deal with what a spiky lil' shit he was and of course there are parallel realities and there's time travel involved and what is this, a Featherman episode? ...This isn't even the strangest thing to happen. The Midnight Stage still takes the cake! Everyone just taking a moment to process defeating Shadows by dancing. Though, tbh, P4 AU Akechi meeting canon versions of P5 characters is so fun. I mentioned it in another post, but I've been RPing my Akechi off of Vashti's canon Akechi for months and they have become so close and it is very sweet, actually. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, and I think it's very much a fun dynamic to imagine in general because P4 AU Akechi or any Akechi who got a support system is in a rather advantageous position comparatively. Tbh, if you were to cross over w/ my AU, I'd just make it clear that it's an unofficial fanwork, but generally as long as credit is given (and a linkback to the original fic), it should be okay. A third sem Akechi meeting him would definitely be a different vibe and one that sounds really interesting. o:

[tariah23]

Uh….

There’s sm stsg fan content of Gojo being a rapist bro 😭… whaddahell… Gojo, stand behind me. Getou, I will save you. These ppl don’t deserve them.

One of the reasons why stsg makes me gag 90% of the time unless I think about it myself or if it’s from certain artists who don’t fandomize their mental image of Getou into a sensitive and weak housewife (Getou receives the Kakyoin treatment unfortunately. If you’re familiar with jjba fandom shit, especially from back when SDC was specifically airing then… yeah…) or Gojo into a super abuser who intimidates ppl on purpose and uses his strength to inflict pain on others because he knows that know one would physically be able to do anything to stop him. Not to mention the groomer HC (have seen ppl literally call Gojo a groomer in a giddy manner like “Gojo is on his way to Molest [redacted] 😍!!! My favorite groomer!) stuff via his students, especially Yuuji and Megumi because yaoi, right. Like… he loves kids, he’d never harm a child. He’s talked about how he wants to protect children on multiple occasions like man. Gojo has never come off as a pervert or anything like that before in canon. He wore Nobara’s skirt that one time (and ooc, especially if you aren’t familiar with jjk or his character at all, it would seem weird as hell that he’d even do something like that but he’s literally just silly as hell and acts like a big kid when it comes to his students. He’s always in a mood to joke around and tease them. And idk if some ppl would think that he was a pervert for that one hilarious bonus scene from S1 where he was pretending like he was Megumi’s piano teacher or whatever tf like it was whatever, it was silly!!!)

It’s wild. I think ppl like the idea that he’s this oh so powerful man and it gets them excited about what he’d probably do to let off some steam from being overstimulated with power and so on. Like where does he release his pent up stress. It’s pretty gross tbh. Why HC him as an abuser… (the fact that abuser Gojo HC’s are so popular. The curse of being a well loved and mega popular character from a mega popular shounen I guess 🗿. Not to mention, being the face of said shounen. Eek.)

It’s about the same in ff from what I’ve seen (just merely scrolling by the tags bro. I barely read ff but lord…)

[nothoughtsjustficrecs]

I thoroughly enjoyed this story! I love myself a good crack fic and this definitely made me laugh! And it ended so sweetly too.

Thank you for writing this story and sharing it with us!

When I was reading, I decided to write down my thoughts as I go because I knew I'd forget otherwise so below this is literally just the thoughts I wrote down because I do not have the brain power to convert them into actual fully coherent comments [I'll put them below a read more cut for the sake of spoilers and such]

-

“ and you were damn ready for the said beautiful thing to happen! ” hell yeah I am!

“ “so we will try and attack him with the anesthetic as soon as possible.” ” STAB HIM IN THE BOOTY idk why that was my immediate reaction to this pls ignore me

“ so what can go wrong? ” oh no, we all know those are famous final words

“ who vaguely matched ” okay this got me chuckling

“ “Maybe he ate too much last night and is a bit swollen now,” ” 😂

“ Now if you were stupid like Seokmin ” omg 😂😂😂 DRAG HIS ASSSS

“ Now, you will consider yourself to be a level-headed person, but one thing that gets to you more than anything else is a false accusation. ” re-fucking-latable. Nothing gets to me quicker than false accusations

“ “So, you are telling me that you were paid to abduct my friend who you know is off limits, but still went ahead with the idea, even though you are the members of my gang?!” ” tut, tut, tut, dumbasses

“ Unspoken was the fact that Chan had been worn down by the boss's relentless bullying, quietly requesting a transfer for at least three years before Jeonghan finally relented. ” poor baby

“ makes you want to cry in a corner and throw rocks at people ” this mental image is hilarious ngl

“ he is a literal angel, and he deserves the world ” agreed

“ You asked Jeonghan about it once and his answer was, “because I can and its fun!” ” he’s such a little shit and I love that for him

HE GAVE HER HIS FIRST CREATION I AM SCREECHING THAT’S SO FUCKEN CUTE

Aww a love letter, how cute

Paring: seungcheol x fem!reader

Requested: no

Release date: 24-04-24

Genre: mafia au, reverse of getting kidnaped by the mafia boss, fluff, e2l, crack, assistant au

Warning(s): mention of abduction, guns?, cheol is a menace, brief mentions of drugs (do tell me if i missed anything)

summary: It was not supposed to be like this, it was a meticulous plan perfectly curated by you, Jun and Seokmin. You were supposed to go get the man who was the future heir of the Kim Corps named Mingyu, you ever had a pic of his. Most importantly it was definitely not supposed to be the man who now sits in your basement claiming that he is the leader of the mafia organisation you three work for.

Word count: 5.8k

Other works

Beta reader(s): @wonuwrites-main and @anonmonty (sweet sweet angles helped me with proof reading, or else im fucking incompetent)

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

It is a beautiful day, and like they always say: beautiful things happen on beautiful days, and you were damn ready for the said beautiful thing to happen!

The plan is simple—you and Jun have gone over it at least fifty times, and Seokmin has been standing there listening to you both intently throughout the whole ordeal. 

“So, let’s go over it once again,” you say, pointing at the white board with the picture of a man, Mingyu to be exact, the heir to the Kim Corp. and your target. 

“He leaves his office to have coffee every afternoon exactly at 3pm at the nearest café named ‘Carvery’, am I right?” Jun and Seokmin nod with a concentrated look on their faces. 

“Next he goes to the park, sits there for fifteen minutes, on most days, and then takes the path that leads them straight back to the building, correct?” The two men again nod, and then Jun takes over the talking. 

“More often than not, he hates company during his afternoon runs, so the best chance we have of abducting the man is when he is between the café and the park. This will give us at least a twenty-minute head start before the police and his family start looking for him.” 

Now you and Seokmin nod at the man, and Seokmin takes the podium to present the next part. 

“Jun and I will be on the streets while y/n waits in the car, and from the background check we ran last month, we know the man is well trained in martial arts, so we will try and attack him with the anesthetic as soon as possible.” 

“And after the guy is unconscious, we will flee with his ass~,” adds Jun. 

“Sounds like a solid plan,” you laugh as you high five the two men. 

Indeed, it was a solid plan. You three had considered every possibility and chosen this day to execute your plan. It’s perfect and thorough, so what can go wrong? 

-- 

A lot apparently. 

You reached the destination ten minutes early to give Seokmin and Jun ample amount of time to prepare for the attack. 

As you parked your car near the pavement where the abduction would take place, you see a man walk past the car wearing a beige trench coat with some sort of concoction from the coffee shop. 

Now if you were a seasoned abductor, you would have known not to mess with the person as the timing was not right. But that was not the case, and seeing a person who vaguely matched the physical descriptions of the man you were actually supposed to abduct gave you enough reason to jump the gun and take this man hostage. 

Before you could process anything, Seokmin jumped on the guy, trying to tackle him while Jun tried to find a way to inject the drug into his system. After another minute of struggle, taking at least five punches in their abdomen and faces, both the men were successful in sedating the man.  

They hurriedly carried him to the car and you three sped off to the base to ask his family for ransom. 

-- 

You have been back at the base for three hours now. As you look at the unconscious man tied to the chair in front, you realize the grave mistake you made by not seeing his face the minute you were actually kidnapping him. 

“I mean if you look at his eyes, they look very similar to the real target, you know. Maybe he ate too much last night and is a bit swollen now,” Jun says in a wise tone. Now if you were stupid like Seokmin, you would have accepted this analogy of his just like the hundred others he had spewed in the past two hours, but you are not. So, you hit the guy’s head while calmly saying. 

“Will you keep quiet for a minute? You know as well as I that this is the wrong man. We don’t even know who he actually is. So, we wait for him to gain consciousness and then interrogate him.”  

You have figured that screaming and crying will get you nowhere. All it will do is trigger Seokmin’s panic attack, and you do not think he can manage another one after the one hour long one he just resurfaced from.  

“Our best bet is that we abducted a pretty important dude, or else we know the boss will have our meat served to his dogs for their nightly feasts,” you continued. 

“I can see he is wearing pretty costly brands all over. My guts say he is rich,” Seokmin pipes up. 

“Seok, your gut told you to scream for the past hour. I don’t trust it a lot now,” you complain. 

“I think it’s your fault, too. You should have stopped us from abducting the guy instead of just staring from the car, you know,” Jun says. 

Now, you will consider yourself to be a level-headed person, but one thing that gets to you more than anything else is a false accusation. On top of that, the bitch has the gal to accuse you of being careless when they were the ones showing literally no care about their work, owing to the fact you were not even supposed to abduct the untouchable Kim Mingyu in the first place. The leader of your clan, although you three had never seen him, mostly operated through Jeonghan, his right-hand man. The guy you agreed to kidnap was apparently remarkably close to your boss. But when faced with the tough choice of loyalty towards one gang and the lump sum of three million, you three had to face the situation and betray your gang. You know you should not, but the small jobs with the gang were not enough to even pay your rent!  

So, who does Jun think he is to shift the blame towards you when you have done nothing but try to make a secure living for all three of you. Therefore, you do the thing that your sane brain advises you to. 

Go off at Jun. 

“So, if I fail to babysit two grown men while on an extremely important mission that included them, the blame is shifted towards me?!” 

“You were both supposed to wait for my instructions before confronting the poor bloke. Now, if things go wrong, it will be your faults, and I will be dragged into it because I was the main brain behind the planning.”  

“Guys, I think we should focus on the guy more; I think he is stirring.” 

This statement from Seokmin caught both of your attention, causing you to cease the argument immediately to take a look at the man in front of you. 

Without hesitation, you put your gun on his head and ask, “who are you, tell us about yourself.” 

The man albeit good looking with his doe eyes and plump lips, gave you three a mean stare before speaking sassily. 

“Shouldn’t you know the identity of the person you kidnap?” 

“If we knew, I don’t think I would have asked about you,” you reply. 

The man scoffs before informing you the most gut-wrenching piece of information you have ever heard. 

“I’m Choi Seungcheol leader of Choi Clan.” 

-- 

When Seungcheol met Mingyu today, he was feeling particularly drained and sought the comfort of a familiar face, longing for a brief respite from the relentless demands of his job. Mingyu, sensing his friend's exhaustion, proposed they take a detour to unwind, considering Seungcheol's grueling schedule. Gratefully accepting the suggestion, Seungcheol had embarked on what he thought would be a much-needed moment of relaxation. 

Oh, how wrong he was. 

As he leisurely sipped his coffee, enjoying a fleeting moment of calm, the tranquility was shattered by the sudden onslaught of a group of thugs. Seungcheol had braced himself for a possible mugging, but the idea of being abducted never crossed his mind. He curses himself for sending Soonyoung away earlier, now regretting not having company in this unforeseen predicament. 

To make matters worse, Seungcheol felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. A mafia boss getting abducted! 

How humiliating.  

Now, do not get him wrong, he was, in reality, as far from incompetent as the Sahara was from water, as Seungkwan was from being calm, as Jihoon was from showing affection—you get the point. 

In fact, he had been the first in three generations to successfully reclaim the southeastern part of the city for his clan from the Yoon family, a testament to his capabilities. 

Now bound and surrounded by three hapless captors whose incompetence was glaringly evident, judging by the one who he suspects was crying prior to their conversation with him. He suspected they had targeted Mingyu, but mistakenly seized him instead. Seungcheol could not help but shake his head at their sheer incompetence. 

Now, again, he is not that scared. He knows he has a trusted pack of workers who would join heaven and earth in search of him. No, he is least bothered about himself. 

What he is actually bothered about is who planned to abduct Mingyu, because he is strictly off limits for his clan members. He knows this as much as anyone that they respect the young heir a lot, not only due to his kind nature, but also because of the relationship he has with their leader. 

So, when he informs his three kidnappers his name, he gets the weirdest of responses ever—a chorus of ‘shits’ and ‘fucks.’ Moreover, he sees all three of his kidnappers suddenly fall down at his feet and grumbling out the most nonsensical bullshit ever. The only words he vaguely captures are ‘it was supposed to be someone else’ and ‘sirs’. 

This confuses the man even more. But then he suddenly sees all three of them take their masks off, revealing two men and, dare he say, a very gorgeous woman. Now in any other situation,

Seungcheol would have laughed, but now that he is in it himself, the only reaction he can provide is a confused head nod as the woman immediately goes to untie his hands. 

-- 

“So, you are telling me that you were paid to abduct my friend who you know is off limits, but still went ahead with the idea, even though you are the members of my gang?!”  

He says as he looks at your group standing in front of him with their heads bowed down looking like kids getting scolded.  

“But sir, we barely make any money from doing the jobs assigned to us. The only way for us to pay our rent was for taking up jobs from outside, and this one paid us a huge sum. We never wanted you to be the one getting abducted instead, we swear!” you suddenly exclaim with the extreme need to explain yourself. 

Your two partners beside you do their dutiful job by nodding their heads with your rant. 

“You three fucked up really bad, didn’t you?” He says, looking a tad bit amused. 

“We are really sorry!” Seokmin chokes out, visibly scared by the whole ordeal. 

“Well, it’s time I go back, so take me back to the office.” 

Right after that statement comes out of his mouth, you three are escorting him out of the door to the car parked outside to take him back. 

-- 

“So, you are telling me these three, these newbies who literally didn’t have any good job for them to gain experience, drugged your ass and took you to god knows where, and you couldn’t even put up a good fight?!” 

Jeonghan exclaims, looking at the seated, nervous, and scared faces of the three of you from Seungcheol’s office’s glass. 

“Apparently not,” the older man sighs. 

“My friend, are you sure you are a real mafia? Because in light of the current happenings, I am starting to question your integrity a lot.” Jeonghan says as he barks out a laugh, taking immense pleasure at his friend’s humiliation. 

“Or maybe you were too caught up staring at the pretty lady to notice that you were getting kidnapped.” 

The bitch continues to make fun of the older man. 

“I just thought I was getting mugged, so I didn’t fight hard enough. Who knew I would be kidnapped instead.” Seungcheol grumbles, pouting a bit. 

“Which is even worse, because you are telling me you would have let people just mug you for no reason when you are one of the most influential people underground!” Jeonghan said while looking pretty concerned about the statement his superior just spewed, and he does indeed have a hard time accepting it. 

“Ahh! Just get over with it and let me go. Plus make sure the three of them face the appropriate consequences for not only abducting me, but also trying to abduct my friend,” Seungcheol barks out while walking out, thoroughly humiliated, and annoyed that his junior was having fun at his expense. 

So Jeonghan does the very thing at which he is extremely good. 

Create chaos. 

 Right after his superior leaves, he strides towards the group and says, “so because the boss has instructed me to do something with you three which will stop you guys from going off the hook, I’m going to assign you some jobs in the organization because I can.” 

Now, anyone even vaguely familiar with Jeonghan would recognize the expression he wore just before chaos ensued, but contrary to popular belief, Jeonghan is actually quite amiable—at least, that is what he believes, and that is what matters, right? 

He continues, “Junhui, you will be overseeing the artillery division. Our deputy head Chan will ensure you are well informed about your job. You will meet him tomorrow. As for Seokmin,” he paused, a sly smile crossing his face, which made Seokmin visibly nervous, “You, my friend, will be our esteemed boss's driver. Lastly, y/n, you will be his assistant. You shall be meeting Chan tomorrow, too; he will explain the workings of your new role.” 

Normally, in any ordinary conversation, you would not dare ask inappropriate questions, but the circumstances were far from normal, so you proceeded with the most audacious question you could muster: “Why did Chan leave his previous post?” 

Jeonghan politely responded, “He left because the job didn’t suit him, so we shifted him to the artillery department as a deputy head.” 

Unspoken was the fact that Chan had been worn down by the boss's relentless bullying, quietly requesting a transfer for at least three years before Jeonghan finally relented. Since then, the turnover of assistants had been alarmingly high. Jeonghan desperately hoped you would stick around. Moreover, if either you or Seungcheol objected to this arrangement, he had enough leverage to ensure you both comply. Enough dirt to keep both of you in line. 

-- 

Your meeting with Chan the next day went well. He explained to you the workings, gave you tips and tricks on how to make sure all the work gets done. Overall, a 10/10 experience, except the small hiccup at the end where he cryptically said something along the lines of “Best of all fucking luck with this job because you will need it.” 

Now a small best of luck is never a bad gesture, but that statement! 

That shit was a bit too hostile, even for you. But you are fine, happy even. Anything that saves you from getting your life cut short by a mafia leader is always welcomed. 

-- 

“What are you doing here?”  

“Where is Jeonghan?” 

The first two sentences to ever leave The Choi Seungcheol’s mouth the minute he sees your face when he comes into his office that afternoon. Indeed, so delightful! 

"Sir, I've been assigned as your work assistant for the time being," you reply, your eyes downcast. It is a surreal turn of events considering just yesterday this man was tied up in your basement. After that ordeal, everything seemed to take on a different hue, almost as if you were hearing the bells of heaven. So, that reaction seems pretty appropriate to you given the circumstances. 

Now you see our oh so beloved Mr. Choi was not just an underground mob because what is the fun in that, right! He mostly did international business under the guise of his company named The ChoiTech, solely based on providing technological change using sustainable means. Pretty cleaver tactic, although overused, but still gets the job done, so who are you to judge. 

The man looking extremely shocked at your statement immediately rushed inside his office, you presume, to call Jeonghan. And sure enough, within five minutes of him disappearing from your sight, you could hear him loudly complaining to his secretary on the phone. “But Jeonghan I can’t be collaborating with her, after what she did to me yesterday!” 

The man whined and then suddenly you could hear hushed whispers, so being the curious cat you were, slowly crept near the door to hear the conversation better. 

“But man, it’s humiliating. She kidnapped me for fucks sake”, the oh so powerful man, who people assumed will one day rule the underworld, whined like a kid who has been denied to go on a playdate with their best friend. 

By this time, you were almost pressed onto the door when suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat made you jump away from it and look about for the person who stopped you from consuming you daily dose of gossip. 

The culprit, Joshua, stood right in front of your desk with an amused look on his face. 

Now Joshua is someone you were extremely familiar with, being the man who took care of assigning roles to the lower members of the group, you have had a lot of angry conversations with him. 

“I would ask you if Seungcheol is busy, but the way you were trying so hard to eavesdrop, makes me think otherwise,” he says, making you roll your eyes. 

“Just give me a minute to tell him you are here, then you can go in.” 

The man nodded still looking thoroughly amused at how sad you looked due to missing out on whatever conversation you were listening to. 

After a minute, the man was inside, now looking even happier that he has seen his next victim to torment. 

-- 

“So Jeonghan was indeed right,” he said, looking like he was having a tough time controlling his laugh. 

“Not you, too,” the pouty man whined from behind the desk. “But really, can you tell him to not put that woman as my assistant? I get war flashbacks every time I see her face,” he continued whining. 

“I mean, I could do that, but where is the fun there, right!” Joshua, thoroughly enjoying his boss’s misery, replied. “But in all seriousness, you could just treat her like Chan. The boy is still traumatized by the amount of work you made him do,” he thoughtfully added. 

The older replies, “I liked Chan, he was nice, would do anything you ask him to!” 

“And so will she. Her life is at stake here, give her some benefit of the doubt.” 

This statement made the older think like never before. Plans of tormenting you to quit your job rushing past his brain at high speed. Suddenly everything made sense. 

“I can take my revenge! That is exactly why Jeonghan made her my assistant. Oh, my friend is such a genius!” Seungcheol said, looking a bit too enthusiastic. 

“Ok, I am sure it was done to decrease his workload, but whatever you say, man,” the younger said skeptically after seeing the diabolical look on the elder’s face. 

-- 

It has already been three weeks and suddenly you understand what Chan meant all those days back when he wished you good luck. To put it quite plainly, your boss is crazy. 

The man was a combination of workaholic and perfectionist, which resulted in him getting swamped by work and by default the same fate befalls you every day, too. For the past three weeks, you have had a challenging time at the office to even take a break to eat food. 

The men you called your enemies once, aka Jeonghan and Joshua, are the ones now saving you from dying out of malnutrition. You are eternally thankful to them. But more than anything now, you regret trying to kidnap Kim Mingyu—the name makes you want to cry in a corner and throw rocks at people, if you had any time to do so. 

“Sir, you scheduled two appointments at the same time: the new project for the Orin Community Park and another one with Mr. Xu for the narcotic deal.” 

You informed the man who had his face shoved in some papers, reading something diligently.  

“Why did you not stop me from doing so then, you were right beside me when I was going through the plan.” 

Now, it is your job to curate the perfect schedule for the man to follow, but Seungcheol being the guy born only to cause you inconvenience made his schedule for the week himself this time. 

Why you might ask?

Purely because the man is a chronic insomniac and whenever he has trouble sleeping, instead of taking measures to have a peaceful sleep, he tries his hands in different works because he can, and this time his victim was the poor, poor schedule of his. 

“Because you had already sent them both emails, sir,” you say, thoroughly exasperated. 

“Ok maybe I did, so now I obviously can’t cancel on both so you figure out something so that I can attend both the meetings, because I ain’t missing any.” 

The man just turns his chair around and keeps reading whatever he was reading in the first place.

With an extremely calm voice, you say, “sir I need you to stop trying to do something to pass time when you can’t sleep. I need you to actually go to a doctor.”  “Can’t,” comes his response, making you sigh more. 

Sometimes it feels like you are working as a babysitter to a grown man instead of an assistant to a CEO. 

Seeing the conversation would be going nowhere if you keep talking to him, you go out and do the second-best thing in your books. 

Call Chan. 

“Lemme guess, the boss is giving you a hard time!” The first sentence he says right after picking up the phone. 

Sighing, you tell him all of Seungcheol’s various administrative behaviors throughout this week. When you got to the part where he had so bravely and meticulously made the perfect schedule, Chan started laughing. The gall of that boy! 

“Wait, he still does that!” He exclaimed between his laughs, making you feel even more annoyed. 

After calming down he says, “just make Jeonghan or Jihoon go for the community meeting and let him manage the narc. I know you are thankful, so do not mention it, but maybe buy me a meal when you are free, as a repayment.” 

Chuckling at the younger boy, you agreed to get him whatever he asks for purely because he is a literal angel, and he deserves the world. Ok, maybe it is a bit too dramatic, but the boy was indeed your angel in disguise. 

Planning on following through with the advice Chan gave you, you called both Jeonghan and Jihoon simultaneously. As Jeonghan was busy, Jihoon accepted the work of going to the community welfare meeting instead of Seungcheol. 

After that, the whole day was smooth sailing. But the main root of all your problems was happy, maybe not healthy, but the look of pure happiness and the twinkling eyes when he passed by your desk was hard to miss.  

This man was slowly but surely making sure to strip you of your patience bit by bit. 

--  

The last straw to eradicating your already depleting patience came when Seungcheol in all his glory, during one of his nightly ‘Imma take away other’s jobs because sleep refuses to befriend me’ escapades, deleted all your assistant notes for the server by mistake. 

You still are baffled as to how he did that. Truth be told so is he. He was scrolling away on his phone when he saw this reel about ‘how to increase your Wi-Fi speed.’ Extremely intrigued by it, he had actually tried to increase the internet speed in his house, and he swears on every god on planet earth it worked. So, he tried doing so with the one in his office, which weirdly enough resulted in removal of all the information that you had stored in your laptop. 

Now if this would have happened to his computer, too, you would not have gotten as angry as you were, but the motherfucker’s computer was all well and good and if you actually pay attention, it seems that his internet speed has increased, too! 

How this man become a CEO is beyond you. What is not so beyond is your pure hatred for him and his technologically challenged ass. 

So that night when Seungcheol, stayed back as usual to do work, you took your chances, entered his office, and slammed a ball of yarn and two knitting needles on his table while scaring the life out of the, not so, poor man. 

“Start knitting!” you calmly said. 

“But I don’t know how to though!” he replies, thoroughly confused. 

“Then learn, Seungcheol! I don’t care what you want to do, I need you to learn and pick up a hobby, start gaming, try knitting anything! Just make sure you are not trying to turn the office upside down.” 

Anyone who knows Seungcheol also knows never to question his nightly routines, but more than that, they also know the pride of the man is too high to ever accept his mistake. So, when you commit the grave crime of pointing out his mishap with the Wi-Fi router that morning, you hit the nail on the head and pissed him to the fucking moon. 

“So, you think I’m bad at what I do?!” 

“No, I think you are technically inept. And you should leave it to people who are good at it.” 

This pisses off Seungcheol more than anything, but you don’t let him intervene as you keep speaking. 

“On top of that you are constantly making changes in your schedule without informing me. You’re your assistant. Maybe have you ever considered the fact that your schedule was made so that your day is smooth sailing, and no two activities overlap!” 

“Just because you refuse to go to a doctor and try and find a way to manage your stress does not mean you make the workplace hell for us.” 

By the end of your rant, you were fuming and Seungcheol was stunned. 

Clearing his throat, he says awkwardly, “I’m sorry you feel so, I will try and fix my schedule.” 

Now, although this statement made you feel better, it also confused you, as you were fully prepared to have a full-blown fight with the man. Him backing down was never an option. But now that it has happened, you muttered a small, “I shall be going then”, to which your boss meekly nodded. 

After you were outside, you ended up feeling better due to unloading all your anger on the man. It was refreshing. Now you just needed to see what changes tomorrow will bring for Seungcheol. 

-- 

It had been two months since you had the argument with Seungcheol, more like your single woman shouting spree. But things have been better. He has tried to keep his need for new experiences down and this has made your life exponentially easier.  

Did you now have time to eat. Absolutely not! 

But the office was not a nightmare anymore.  

If someone would have told you five months ago that this is what your future held for you, you would have straight up laughed at their face and told them to get themselves checked. But life has weird ways of throwing you in situations you don’t expect yourself to be in, and you have no other ways of getting out but learn to go with the flow. 

You sometimes talk to Jun and Seokmin, and you have realized you got the hardest of all the jobs.

You asked Jeonghan about it once and his answer was, “because I can and its fun!” 

So here you are sitting on the couch with Seokmin while enjoying your sandwich when you see Seungcheol come outside carrying a bag, Jeonghan trailing behind him sporting this devilish look on his face. 

The big man walks towards you and hands you the bag. Opening it you notice a green scarf sitting at the bottom. 

“Seungcheol’s first knitting creation, and he says thank you for forcing him to learn knitting. It helps him sleep now.” Jeonghan says while pointing at the bag even before the older man could open his mouth. 

Seokmin tries to make himself as invisible as possible while looking extremely interested in the whole situation unfolding in front of him. 

Seungcheol waves his hands at Jeonghan trying to hush him down and whines, “let me speak!” 

“I made this cause you told me it would help me sleep! I didn’t think it could actually help me, but it looks like it did, so I’m extremely thankful for your suggestion.”

“Good job!” Jeonghan says, patting Seungcheol’s head like he was a child, making you laugh a bit. 

“Thank you for listening to me, sir!” 

“Oh, no, call him by his name, or else he will become weird with you again!” Jeonghan says, making you laugh again. Seungcheol pouts at both of you and storms back to his office, with Jeonghan at his tail making fun of him yet again. 

After that, you kept the bag in your desk and went to bid your friend goodbye. 

“He looked like he was confessing to his crush, you know”, Seokmin muses. 

“Maybe he has a crush on you!” He exclaimed after pausing for a moment. 

“I don’t, he is a weird person,” you had replied thoughtfully. 

Realizing he has been chatting with you for a long time, Seokmin quickly rushes outside while loudly screaming a ‘goodbye’ for the whole building to hear. 

When you came back to your desk, Jeonghan was waiting for you there. The man just looked at you with a smirk and said, “see you later y/n, and make sure to wear the scarf!” 

Jeonghan is a weird person. You more often than not don’t listen to what he tells you to do. He forces you to do them anyways. 

“Seriously, lady, do wear the scarf. Plus, it’s cold outside—you won’t get a heatstroke if you do so.” 

With that he was outside of the office, too. Slowly work caught up with you and you forgot about the scarf altogether. 

-- 

That evening, as you were finishing up at work and preparing to leave, you grabbed the scarf that had been gifted to you and wrapped it around your neck before stepping out of the office. 

Unbeknownst to you, the man who had given you the scarf felt a rush of joy upon seeing you wear it. Concealing his flushed cheeks, he quietly followed you out and spontaneously invited you to join him for dinner, explaining that he had given Seokmin the night off and now was in extreme need of a dinner companion, as Seokmin would fill in that position on most nights. It was unusual for him to make such a request, but you were both hungry and couldn't resist the offer of a free meal, even if it was from someone as harmless as him. 

"So, what do you think?" Seungcheol asked as the two of you sat at the ramen shop waiting for your orders. 

"About what?" You replied, genuinely puzzled by his question. 

"Didn't you read the letter?" He asked, his face turning even redder as he mentioned it. 

"What letter?" You responded, glancing around until Seungcheol nodded towards the bag in which he gave you the scarf, looking inside you noticed an envelope that matched the interior perfectly sitting at the bottom. 

"Oh! I can read it now," you exclaimed. 

"Don't worry about it right now," he interjected as the waiter arrived with your bowls of ramen. 

Despite his reluctance to discuss the letter further, your curiosity only grew stronger after he dropped you off at your doorstep. Once inside your home, you wasted no time in retrieving the letter from your bag. Its contents filled you with excitement like never before. 

The following day at the office, you placed another letter on Seungcheol's desk before getting on with your usual tasks, eager to see his reaction. 

-- 

"So, let me get this straight—you've been dating our boss for the past month?" Exclaimed Jun, eyes wide with disbelief. 

"Why didn't you tell us sooner? How did this even happen?!" Chimed in Seokmin, equally stunned by the news. 

As soon as you revealed your relationship with Seungcheol, you found yourself bombarded with a flurry of questions from your friends. It was amusing to witness their sheer astonishment, and yet, deep down, it felt incredibly rewarding to share this surprising news with them.

What started as a casual hangout quickly transformed into a lively interrogation session, with your friends firing off all sorts of curious inquiries. Most pressing among them was the question: 

“How and when did all of this happen?!” 

You couldn't blame them for their curiosity. It seemed like just yesterday that you had kidnapped Seungcheol off the street instead of his friend Mingyu, which resulted in Jeonghan gaining the perfect opportunity to bully you both half to death. And let's not forget the hell and back experience you were subjected to from Seungcheol himself, the man who had once resorted to extreme tactics to get you to quit as he was reminded of the oh so humiliating experience he went through every time he saw your face. But somehow, it all worked out in the end, and you couldn't be happier about how it turned out. 

Near the end of your gathering, you couldn't resist the urge to pull out your phone and reveal the most treasured image in your gallery: a photograph capturing two pieces of paper resting on a desk. One paper bore a lengthy paragraph, while the other simply displayed a single, bold sentence: 

"Take me out on a proper date first!" 

The photo encapsulated perfectly how you both worked so well with each other. It was a sweet reminder of how unexpectedly love can bloom in the most unconventional of circumstances. 

As your friends marveled at the photo, you couldn't help but reflect on how far you and Seungcheol had come in such a short time. Despite the initial hurdles and challenges you faced with the man, you were grateful for the bond you now shared—a relationship built on laughter, friendship, and, of course, a bit of unexpected romance. 

The end hope you like it !!

[facelessxchurch]

Bonus Christmas Prompt

Imagine Leibniz!Mevolent chasing Leibniz!Serpine through a festively decorated city while "All I want for Christmas is you" is playing in the background.