#idk why but since the first time i watched it crowley has given off the butchest vibes in this scene specifically | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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Hi! I was just watching good omens and I came up with some questions, but I didn't know whom to ask, so I was digging around for go analysis blogs and found you. *takes a breath* So, I was wondering if you had any thoughts on why Heaven's camera angles are the way they are. I noticed that, in heaven, the camera tends to focus on the characters' heads specifically, so they fill most of the screen. Either it's a meta reason or a reference to something (like Newt with the Office) that I'm not getting. That's the main thing, but I've also wondered why exactly Aziraphale uses the verb "fraternize" in the 19th century. It seemed an odd pivot from caring about Crowley's safety to Heaven's rules. Thanks so much!

Hello! Omg yes, let's talk Good Omens cinematography.

First, the obligatory Analysis Disclaimer: I doubt there's a specific interpretation that you're just not getting, some singular, "correct" reading of the scene(s). Two years past release, I'm positive the fandom as a whole has come up with plenty of ideas (I mostly hang on the periphery. I'm far from up to date with GO meta), but any and all of it will, by nature, be subjective. Thus, all I can offer is my own, personal interpretation.

So for me? It's about intimacy.

Not intimacy in the sense of friendship, but rather the broad idea of closeness. Confidentiality. Emotion. Knowledge. Understanding by means of literally getting into the thick of these conversations. I love the camerawork in Heaven (and elsewhere) because the camera itself acts like a person — an additional party to these interactions. And, since we're the ones watching this show via the camera, it makes it feel as if we're peeking into scenes that are otherwise private. Obviously all cinematography does this to a certain extent, the camera is always watching someone or something without acknowledging that we're doing the watching (outside of documentary-esque filmmaking), but GO uses angles and closeups to mimic another person observing these scenes, someone other than the characters involved.

The easiest example I can give here is when Michael makes their call to Ligur. Here, the camera is positioned up on the next landing of the staircase, as if we're sneaking a look down at this otherwise secret call. There's even a moment when the camera pans to the right to look at them through the gap in the railing, briefly obscuring Michael from our view.

Here, a standard expectation of any scene — keep your character in focus — is done away with to instead mimic the movements of someone actually hiding in the stairwell, listening in on the conversation. It creates that feeling of intimacy, as if we're really there with Michael, not just watching Michael through a screen. The camerawork acts like a person overhearing an illicit conversation prior to falling back on mid/closeup shots. We're spying on them.

To give a non-Heaven example, the camera helps us connect with Aziraphale during Gabriel's jogging scene. It's hard to show through screenshots, but if you re-watch you'll see that the camera initially keeps them both in the frame with full body shots, allowing us to compare things like Gabriel's unadorned gray workout clothes with Aziraphale's more stylish outfit; one's good jogging form and the other's awkward shuffle. However, this distance also creates the sense that we're jogging with them, we're keeping pace.

That is, until Aziraphale begins to lag. Then the camera lags too, giving them both the chance to catch up, so to speak.

Until, finally, Aziraphale has to stop completely and the camera, of course, stops with him. We're emotionally attuned to Aziraphale, not Gabriel, and the camerawork reflects that. Even more-so when we cut to a low shot of Gabriel's annoyed huff at having to stop at all, making him appear larger and more imposing. Because to Aziraphale, he is.

This work carries over into Heaven's other scenes. The closeups are pretty much a given since, whether it's Gabriel realizing Aziraphale has been "fraternizing" with Crowley (more on that below!), or Aziraphale choosing to go back to Earth, the scenes in Heaven are incredibly important to the narrative. Closeups allow the viewer to get a good read on each character's emotional state — focusing on minute facial changes as opposed to overall body language — and that fly-on-the-wall feeling is increased as we literally get an up close and personal look at these pivotal moments.

Compare a shot like this one of Gabriel to the line of angels ready for battle. We don't get closeups on any of their faces because their emotions aren't important. Yes, that's in part because they're background characters, not main characters, but a lack of emotion — their willingness to enter this war without question — is also the point of their presence in this scene. So they remain a semi-identical, nearly faceless mass that runs off into infinity down that hallway, not any individual whose inner life we get a peek at via a closeup.

I particularly like Aziraphale's conversation with the angel... general? Idk what to call this guy. He's just gonna be Mustache Angel. But, getting back on track, his scene has a lot of over the shoulder shots which, admittedly, are pretty common. From a practical perspective they're used to help the audience situate both characters in the scene — you're here, you're there, this is how you're spaced during this conversation — but it can also help emphasize that closeness between them. Keeping both characters in the shot connects them and though Aziraphale and Mustache Angel definitely aren't on the same page here, those shots help cue us in to the unwanted intimacy of this moment. They're both angels... even though Aziraphale no longer aligns himself with them. They're both soldiers in a war... but Aziraphale will not fight. This angel has a list of Aziraphale's secrets, including that he once had a flaming sword and lost it... but Aziraphale doesn't want to admit those circumstances to him. This angel wouldn't understand, even if he did. Intimacy here, connection and closeness, is something discomforting because Aziraphale can no longer embrace those similarities. They put him (and us) out of sorts, so when we get them both in frame, that connection creates tension, not relief.

And many of those over the shoulder shots are given sharp angels, or the camera is placed too close to the "off screen" party. Compare a shot like Luke and Rey to Aziraphale and Mustache Angel. Here, Luke is a clean, solid line on the left side of the screen, just enough there to cue us in to where he is in relationship to Ray, In contrast, Mustache Angel's mustache is Too Close and proves rather distracting. Rey and Luke are connecting here over being Jedi with responsibilities to uphold (or at least, Luke will acknowledge that connection later lol); Mustache Angel is forcing a connection with Aziraphale that makes everyone uncomfortable.

We are too close to him here. He feels too close to Aziraphale too. This whole conversation is upsetting and discomforting, pushing Aziraphale to finally choose which side he's on (his own with Crowley). The shots aren't meant to subtly keep the audience from getting lost and then otherwise be unobtrusive, we're supposed to be Very Aware of this angel's body and how close he's getting to the character we've come to identify with — both literally (he's leaning in) and in terms of forcing Aziraphale to finally make his choice.

When Mustache Angel marches forward and gets all up in Aziraphale's face, the camera positions itself behind Aziraphale in a way that makes it feel like we're hiding behind him, with Aziraphale taking up far more of the screen than Luke does. Like the scene with Michael or running with Gabriel, the camera often likes to mimic a "realistic" response to these events. This angry, shouty angel is getting closer, best take a step back and stay out of sight behind Aziraphale, holding his ground.

These closeups also serve as a nice contrast to the wide and longshots we get of Heaven. It's an imposing place with skyscrapers in the distance, lots of steel, immaculate floors, and endless white. It's overwhelming and it's cold. But then we cut to those mid-shots of Gabriel and Michael, telling us that they're in control of it all.

Aziraphale? Aziraphale is not in control. Not now, anyway. When he appears in Heaven we get a longshot to show off this endless void and he's just another, tiny speck in it. If he weren't flailing around — an acting move that likewise helps sell how out of his depth he is — it's unlikely you'd even notice him. Aziraphale's clothing and hair blends in perfectly with the background. He's forgettable. Easily overlooked. Someone to underestimate. And when he moves, he has to come to the camera. We don't cut to Aziraphale to establish control like we do with Gabriel. He's left to awkwardly shuffle up to Mustache Angel until he's finally come into view.

Yet when Aziraphale makes his decision, he aligns himself with the brightest, most colorful, most interesting thing in the room: Earth. Earth, with all its messy individuality, is the antithesis to Heaven's controlled uniformity and a bright blue orb hanging in the midst of all this white helps remind us of that. Aziraphale rejects becoming one of the identical soldiers and instead literally reaches out for the one thing in Heaven that doesn't fit in.

When he leaves, we get an extreme closeup for the first time. Mustache Angel is pissed and as such we not only get a good look at his face in the aftermath of Aziraphale's choice, but that extreme closeup on his mouth as he's shouting too. It's like he's shouting directly at us, the viewer who is currently cheering on Aziraphale's decision. There's a war, dammit... but we don't care. Not in the way he cares, anyway.

So there's a lot! And I could probably go on, but apparently I'm only allowed to add 10 images per post now (tumblr what the actual fuck if anyone knows a way around this please share!) and I've already had to merge a bunch of images like an animal. So let's awkwardly finish up with the duck pond scene.

...without a GIF because they apparently count as images too 🙃

Simply put, I don't think Aziraphale bringing up fraternizing is a pivot from one to the other — from caring about Crowley to caring about Heaven's rules. I mean yes, Aziraphale is lagging behind Crowley in terms of rebellion and a part of him is, at this point, absolutely concerned with how he'll come across to the higherups, but that worry doesn't stem solely from a (now very shaky) desire to obey for the sake of obeying. The thing is, Aziraphale's disobedience is, by default, also Crowley's disobedience. If they're friends and they're ever found out, they'll both get in trouble. Which, we know from the end of Season One, basically means being wiped from existence. That's horrifying! And it's a horror that threatens them both. I don't think Aziraphale cares about rules for the sake of rules; after all, he started off by giving away his sword, lying to God, is currently meeting with Crowley anyway... this angel has always ignored/bent the rules — established and implied — that don't suit him. Rather, he cares about the rules if he thinks they have a chance of being enforced. If there will be consequences for breaking and bending them. This is still about caring for Crowley (as well as saving his own, angelic skin). If they're found out, Crowley dies. And, as we the viewer learn, Heaven was indeed observing them that whole time. There was always legitimate risk attached to this relationship. Aziraphale's fear, hesitance, and at times forceful pleas to stop this stem as much from Aziraphale worrying about Crowley's safety as they do a learned instinct to obey the rules without question. He pushes to end the relationship because the relationship threatens the only thing Aziraphale cares about more than that: Crowley himself.

As for the term "fraternizing," that's a loaded one! I won't go into a whole history lesson here, but suffice to say it has military roots: to sympathize as brothers with an opponent. That is literally what Crowley and Aziraphale are doing. They are an angel and a demon, supposedly innate enemies, supposedly poised for an inevitable war... yet they've formed an incredibly strong kinship. They've both learned to love their enemy, the thing every army fears because, well, then your army won't fight (just as Aziraphale won't). However, beyond the enemy implications, "to fraternize" eventually took on a sexual meaning: to not merely love as a brother, but to lay with the enemy too, usually women from enemy countries (because, you know, heteronormativity). Nowadays, "to fraternize" often implies a sexual component. I've been rewatching The Good Wife lately and in one subplot, the State's Attorney cracks down on fraternization in his office. He doesn't mean his employees are forming bonds with assumed enemies, he means his employees are having sex on his office couch. So Aziraphale's phrasing here carries a LOT of weight. He's both reminding Crowley of their stations in the world — you are a demon, I am an angel, us meeting like this can have formal, irrevocable consequences for us both — as well as, given the fact that this is a love story, drawing attention to the depth of this relationship. They love one another, as more than just friends. Though whether Crowley's scathing "Fraternizing?" is a response to Aziraphale falling back on the technicalities of their positions, or acknowledging a love he's yet to overtly admit and commit to — or both! — is definitely up for debate.

#Good Omens #Ineffable Husbands #Air Conditioning #mymetas #whew #long post!#with too few images imo #with this done I'm gonna steam #about tumblr's absurd limitations #how's a girl supposed to do meta on this website anyway

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murdereraisuha · 4 years ago

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Vargas Camp part 1

An attempt at a moderately-detailed summary of the story so far. Mostly focuses on events rather than conversations cause I don’t have the time or Japanese skills for that.

The sports clubs are all going to have to attend a training camp in the mountains for 3 days where they will have to complete various tasks. Crowley promises to buy club equipment for any club that completes all the tasks, but Vargas says that any club that fails to complete all the tasks will be disbanded.

The morning of the 1st day, the students gather in the mirror chamber. The event guys show up in their new outfits. They discuss the outfits until Vargas activates the mirror and takes them to the dwarf mine, the same place we went in the prologue.

Soon after they arrive, Grim & MC approach the group. Crowley asked them to use the ghost camera to take pictures of the training camp. The ghosts are also here to assist Vargas. The first task for Vargas Camp is to set up their tents. However, for this task and the rest of the trip, the students will not be allowed to use phones or magic. Their phones & pens are confiscated by Crowley, who then returns to the school.

The group moves to the campsite and Vargas gives them a time limit of 60 minutes for everyone to set up tents. The equestrian club sets up theirs together by the river, the track and field club sets up theirs under trees. (this is where Otome Ayui’s translation part 1 ends, the rest is all me. Please take it with a grain of salt)

After 30 minutes, Jack and Deuce decide to work together. Epel and Ruggie also set up tents together and Ruggie praises Epel for his skillfulness. Riddle asks Sebek to help him but he pulls his side of the tent too strongly. 15 minutes left. Floyd complains about having a yellow tent and wants a red one instead even though, as Jamil comments, he’s already set up his tent. Floyd replies by saying Jamil’s choice of beige is too normal and tries to get Ace to agree. Ace doesn’t want to get involved. (Poor Jamil...)

Time’s up. Though there were difficulties, everyone managed to get their tents up in time. Vargas awards them with a Vargas Badge, which he & the ghosts will also award after other tasks are cleared. There will be 7 badges total that will be given out per club (if they clear all tasks).

Vargas proceeds to give them their other 3 tasks for the day.

collecting firewood and starting a fire

catching fish from the lake for use as food

going into the mines and obtaining a magic crystal (crystal? stone? idk lol). They have to get one that′s at least 1 centimeter and 3 grams heavy.

Each club talks about what they’ll do first/how they’ll delegate tasks. (personal note: I love the contrast between how amped up and strategic magift club gets, and then how right after that basketball club has the goofy music playing as Floyd & Ace talk about how they’re hungry and the group quickly decides to go fishing)

Grim & MC first go check out the magift club (minus Leona) getting firewood. They go back to camp and Ruggie shows everyone how to start a fire without matches or a lighter. Suddenly, a tree fairy (a name I’m giving it based on its appearance) appears and the students have to fight it off.

After the fight, Leona explains that during the time when the mine was active, there was a big forest fire. Since then, the fairies of the forest hate fire and that’s why they tried and will continue to try to stamp out any fires the students make. The students have to make sure to guard the fire.

Next, Grim & MC go to the lake and find Deuce & Jack. They’re not having much luck fishing. They spot a giant fish and consider catching it, but it turns out to be Floyd who has switched to eel form since fishing with a rod & having to wait is boring. After Floyd goes back into the lake, a water fairy shows up.

Once the fairy is defeated and there’s no more obstacles, the track & field club succeeds at catching a decent amount of fish. After checking in with a ghost, they go back to camp to enjoy the food.

Finally, Grim & MC go to mines where the equestrian club is. They talk about how to find magic crystals and the conversation’s technical enough that I’m just gonna wait for a translation instead of trying to understand it myself. Sebek finds a magic crystal and is loud about it. A fire fairy appears shortly afterward. They defeat it, Sebek continues to be loud, get the badge from a ghost. blah blah malleus blah blah.

Finally, we get to see basketball club at the lake, where Floyd has effortlessly caught 50 fish while the mobs have only caught like 1. Floyd goes back to human form, saying that he’s bored since the fish in the lake are all dumb/slow. Now that they’ve cleared the task, it’s time for Jamil to cook. However, he needs more ingredients other than fish to make good food, so he gives Ace and Floyd the task of gathering some edible plants. Floyd takes the area near the lake, Ace takes the forest. Ace talks to himself for a bit, there’s a rustling in the bushes, then horror music plays as something lunges at him and the screen goes to black and he screams. Floyd hears it and after some thinking... completely disregards it.

Night falls. Every club has completed their tasks & gotten the 3 badges in time. Vargas tells them to get a good rest, but also they need to have people stay up and guard the fire from the fairies. Vargas then talks to Grim & MC about how he will sleep in the dwarves’ small cottage and how they will sleep in a tent by the side of the cottage.

Jamil questions Floyd about where Ace is. Floyd says he doesn’t know and theorizes that Ace is skipping out. Floyd says he kinda wants to go too, but Jamil orders him to guard the fire and Floyd says that Jamil’s sounding like Azul.

Deuce and Jack go to sleep. Sebek yells at Riddle for napping by the fire but then says he (Sebek) will watch the fire. Riddle wakes Silver up and they go to sleep in their tents. Epel and Ruggie have a wholesome conversation. Leona continues to sleep.

Ruggie and Epel are woken up by the sound of the ghosts clanging frying pans together. Even though the sun’s not even out yet, Vargas declares it morning and hands out their tasks for the day.

Collect lamp fire flowers (灯火の花) for making a magic potion that can speed up the healing of scratches

Catch giant catfish that have been devouring the fish in the lake

Get another magic crystal, but this time it has to be at least 2 centimeters and 7 grams

The students talk about the tasks, then Jamil and Floyd approach Grim & MC with the mystery of the missing Ace. The end.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst spoilers

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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I know this is a weird question, but with his waning powers, how do you think Cas got out of hell?

Hellevator?

I have a companion question for you. When Cas shoved Belphegor through the rift, of everywhere they could’ve potentially landed in Hell (we know it’s a huge place that holds billions of souls and demons, and we’ve seen a number of different regions of it over the years), how did they land right exactly where they needed to be?

They landed just a few steps away from the vault containing the horn they were looking for. At this point, I’d like to introduce you to some of my other anons who’ve been sitting in my inbox waiting for replies for a while...

[Contents of anon message: hold on how did cas get out of that pit. did he wall up the side like a mountain climber. did he bring bungee cords and slingshot himself out??? im confused]

and these two that I think go together (apologies if I’m mistaken, but they seem a continuation of one another, and I wanna address both of them here anyway):

[contents of two anon messages: Hi Mittens! Quick question. If the Lilith’s horn thing was capable of sucking up souls and demons, why didn’t Cas use it in season 6 for his whole god plan? Crowley had to know about it, right? (He was Lilith’s lover, wasn’t he? If Bel knew about, Crowley had to too) Idk... Retcon makes me dizzy. what was the point of looking for Purgatory if there was a simpler solution that Crowley could have very easily accessed?

For that matter, why didn’t Lucifer use the horn to suck up all the souls to defeat Amara? Would that have been a possibility?]

This... is gonna get long here... There’s actually two ways to approach all these questions, which I think all have the exact same very simple answer. But first, I need to lay out why these questions are all so interesting in the first place, and demonstrate that attempting to give separate answers to each of them using canon to justify all the answers is an exercise in futility.

Let’s begin with the first two questions, which are functionally identical. How did Cas get out of Hell so quickly? And the companion question I posed above... How did he and Belphegor get IN to Hell so quickly, or at least to their specific destination. Because that was... indescribably convenient, yes?

They could’ve fallen ANYWHERE in Hell. Why would the bottom of a magical hole into Hell drop them in the exact destination they were searching for? Do portals to Hell have something to do with intent? I mean, we use the symbolic visual of “falling into a hole” for going to Hell (like Sam diving into the Cage in 5.22), but Hell is no more “underground” than Heaven is “in the sky,” you know? They’re not physical places in the human world, any more than the Alternate Universes we’ve visited over the years are. Without going into a physics lecture, I’ve been thinking of the wound in the ground in the graveyard as metaphysically the same as the Sandbox Portal to Heaven, or the glowy space vagina portal into an alternate universe. Walk up to it, walk through it, and ZAP you’re on the other side, in another dimension of reality.

They don’t step into the Heaven Sandbox and physically ride up into the sky like an elevator, you know? They step, it glows, it spits them out in Heaven, no climbing required. I think the Hell Portal/Big-ass Hole is the same sort of thing. But with the added drama of getting to watch them fall into a big-ass hole. So... we didn’t get to see it, but reversing the process, I think it would’ve just... booped Cas back out and deposited him on the grass where he’d jumped through in the first place.

More interesting to me is the fact that Belphegor presented them with this solution (bearing in mind he’d been gradually manipulating them all along into agreeing to Bigger and Bigger Spells, and each time TFW being desperate enough to agree to give his spells a try, and each time they proved moderately successful. But this was The Big One, you know? This was the one he wasn’t performing to continue earning the trust and assistance of TFW, this was the one he engineered SPECIFICALLY to enact all along-- earning Dean’s trust, getting Cas to the point where he not only could look at him, but actively work with him (even grudgingly). He NEEDED Cas in that room to unlock the box with the horn, much like Cas needed Dean to unlock the box that contained the Angel Tablet in 8.17. Much like Lucifer needed Crowley to “escape” so he could follow him to the storage locker where he’d hidden the Staff of Aaron in 11.15. Much like Zachariah plotted out everything that happened in s4 to get Sam where he was needed to release Lucifer in 4.22 (and manipulated into it so that he’d be willing to do the series of Terrible Things required of him by “prophecy.”)

Which is all a little suspicious when you start looking at past canon to explain it all, you know? All this “prophecy” and “destiny” stuff starts to look a bit contrived, right?

Belphegor and Cas somehow miraculously landed in the Dramatic Entrance Hall to the exact room they needed to find. Where a demon Bel was friends with happened to be looting the place (discovering a ring that received a weird amount of focus for something we’ve never heard of before nor the powers it holds described in any way, and yet ALSO featured in the SPPT promo video, despite being entirely irrelevant to their current situation... which is weird in itself... and something that could come up again later... or not, but it could).

So, did Belphegor’s intent lead them to fall directly to that spot, or is something else at play here?

That brings us to the next question: Lilith’s Crook, which wasn’t a crook at all, but a Horn. First off, why was it called a “crook�� when it was plainly a “horn?” A Crook is a specific tool used to catch wayward sheep around the neck like a lasso, but also can be used as a walking stick or a weapon. Wolves come after your flock, you can whallop them with your big stick.

But like all the “horns” introduced in canon, this one has... other powers. We had the Horn of Gabriel introduced as a concept in 6.06 but demonstrated in “reality” only in s9... which wasn’t a horn at all, but a spell. But it did summon angels the same way Lilith’s Crook sucked in demons and souls. Even the shape of the sigil in the spell had a “crook.”

Bringing in the flock, as it were.

We also saw the Horn of Joshua, where the original purpose of the “weapon” was rendered irrelevant by being of interest to TFW as a “Hand of God” potentially imbued with God’s powers they hoped to use to defeat Amara back in s11. All this previous “horn fuckery” in canon has left me inherently suspicious of ANY sort of horn now. But I’ll get to that in a minute... Let’s focus on the rest of the horn-related questions first, since this one is so big that I think the only way to truly justify it is with my final answer...

The next question is, “why didn’t Cas use THIS horn back in s6?” combined with “didn’t Crowley know about this horn back then too? Why did he never mention it when he was searching for power?”

Well... even if Crowley DID know about this horn, it wouldn’t have actually done what he was trying to do back then. Crowley already HAD the throne of Hell, you know? All of that power was already his. He LOANED Cas 50,000 souls to smack down Raphael, which Cas presumably returned to Hell after that. But Crowley had been looking for ADDITIONAL power for himself. The horn... only brought in the souls of Hell-- which were already in Crowley’s possession. Hoovering up all the souls that already made up his current power base would’ve been... power cannibalism, you know? It wouldn’t have given him anything he didn’t already have. He was looking for MORE power. The horn would’ve been worse than useless to him. And he DEFINITELY wouldn’t have given it to Cas back then, because Cas would’ve used it to soak up all the power Crowley DID have and steal it for his own, you know?

So, what would the purpose of the horn have been to Lilith? I’ve been considering the possibility that it was actually an Apocalypse Failsafe, if Sam had failed to kill her to release Lucifer. I mean, as a last-ditch effort to bring about the Apocalypse, she could’ve called all the power of every soul and demon in Hell to her and theoretically have the power to smash open the cage, or otherwise bring Apocalypse-Level Drama of some sort. Evil Vengeful God Powered Demon does seem to make for a formidable foe for Michael to defeat.

Or... maybe something along those lines? But that brings us to the next question: Why wouldn’t Lucifer have used it himself to suck up all the souls to defeat Amara in s11? Or even further, why wouldn’t Lucifer have used it to suck up some souls to defeat AU Michael when we literally saw him eating other Angels for power in s13? He’d been desperate for additional power in both of those circumstances. He even spent time in s11 specifically looking for Hands of God weapons and other power enhancing weapons, and the contents of his crypts was brought to him at one point in 11.15. He was disappointed that whatever he’d been looking for was not among the meager selection of weapons from his apparently looted crypts. But if anyone HAD known of this apparently incredibly powerful weapon, why would nobody have even mentioned its existence before?

Which makes me wonder if Lucifer DID know of its existence, you know? Maintaining the belief that the horn had existed all along, locked away in a box that only angels (or someone able to read and sing Enochian) could even access, Lucifer at least could’ve had reason enough to use it if he thought it would help him replenish his own power either in s11 or in s13. Yet he never even mentioned it. Could it have been something Lilith made for herself after Lucifer had been locked away? Weird, right? WHY?!

Why ANY of this? Why even make something like this, only to have it mentioned NOW, at the very end of the line?

Because every answer I’ve attempted to give here eventually breaks down and fails to satisfy the original question, only leaving us with more questions. So I’d like to present my thesis. While the canon-related questions are a bit of personal fun for me, because I love attempting to reconcile canon like this, I think the show has already told us exactly what’s happening here. I think it’s both DEEPLY rooted in past canon, but also hanging a lampshade on a lot of specific events of past canon.

I think Chuck is basically pantsing his way through writing yet another Dramatic Cosmic Plot that TFW doesn’t even realize they’re still part of yet. And that this “weapon” was invented on the spot by Chuck to force TFW into enacting a hastily scrawled rewrite of some of his favorite scenes from his own Grand Story. Just enough to give him time to figure out what he actually wants to DO with the story, since he’s effectively trapped himself in this iteration of it by one of his own hastily created plot devices... kinda “backfiring” on him-- The Equalizer gun.

Chuck has been repeatedly characterized as kind of a hack writer, not a Great Storyteller, you know? He’s really... not very good at this. He’s like Anne Rice after she fired her editor. He’s got no direction, no original ideas, only “cool plot twists” that entertain nobody but himself. He makes up rules on the fly to try to solve narrative problems of his own making. And he’s been doing that for years.

And he’s been getting worse at it, and more desperate about it, since Amara showed up to confront him from a perspective that began this entire “unmasking the creator for what he really is” process we’ve been seeing unfold since 11.20.

Which is closer to what I think the *actual* mytharc plot of s15 is.

Right now, TFW is caught up on the details-- these magical things they believe are manifestations of a Post-Chuck-Involvement universe. When in reality, it’s STILL Chuck interfering directly in all of their lives. I think right now Dean is the only one even remotely on the right track with that one, even if he’s emotionally reeling to the point where he doesn’t actually *know* he’s realized the extent to which Chuck has fucked with all their lives.

Sam is reeling from the things he had to do because of “prophecy,” the fact he believed he had no other choice. This was one level of remove from his resignation about needing to say yes to Lucifer in 5.22 to personally drag him into the Cage. Emotionally, I’m not sure if he sees it any differently than all the suffering his actions back then brought about. This time, it wasn’t *him* making that sacrifice, but someone he truly cared about making it for him. Sam is having to deal with this from the other side this time around. He’s not seeing the bigger picture, that Chuck was responsible for ALL of this. He’s convinced that this was the price they needed to pay in order to “fix the universe once and for all,” which... we know as viewers isn’t true at all. Chuck is still out there, and magically hooked directly into Sam via that equalizer wound. Is Sam even CAPABLE of seeing outside of his current apparent situation, or is Chuck somehow directly influencing his choices and thoughts? That remains to be seen, but it is a primary concern-- how is that wound affecting both Sam and Chuck, and what part did it have to play in Rowena’s apparent sacrifice?

(and potentially, will Sam be able to eventually wrest control of what that connection is doing once he becomes fully aware of what the consequences of that wound really are? I mean this also goes directly back to the sorts of visions he was manipulated into believing in s11, only to learn when it was too late that they were all a manipulation from Lucifer. This feels thematically similar, but potentially giving Sam power over the situation that he hasn’t realized yet...)

Cas is stuck on his own guilt, he believes now validated by Dean’s rejection of him. He’s not seeing Dean’s perspective here, that it’s not just Jack’s death or even Mary’s death that Dean is angry about. Cas had invested HIS ENTIRE SENSE OF SELF and his entire sense of family and belonging into Jack directly. Jack had been the symbol of Cas’s lifeline to the people he loves and chose to stand with and the symbol of what someday losing those people to mortality would leave Cas with... another immortal being to endure by his side for eternity. The immediacy of Cas’s anger is all tied up in that singular act of Chuck’s, in killing Jack. And seemingly not understanding that Dean is angry about... all of it. About an entire lifetime of direct manipulation and loss and tragedy.

Dean’s big fear, in pushing Cas away, was that Cas himself had been just another one of Chuck’s plot devices written specifically to force his choices or disrupt his life. Dean can’t see the forest for the trees, and he has NO IDEA (or had no idea until Cas chose to walk out of his life) that Cas has repeatedly chosen HIM, DIRECTLY, for A DECADE. Dean has no idea, because right now he’s so blinded by his own hurt, his own disillusionment, and his own anger to see Cas clearly. He trusts nothing and no one, because everyone and everything might just be one more plot device.

He’s having a hard time seeing Cas as anything other than on a par with the Equalizer gun-- hastily invented on the spot to solve a problem of Chuck’s own devising. And I think it’s gonna take a while for Dean’s mental state to settle out enough to be able to accept the truth that *we* know.

I mean, Cas has defied every supposed law of the universe, coming back to him over and over again, inexplicably, from death and the Empty and situations that never should’ve been possible to come back from. I believe he’s questioning if any of that was even real now, you know? but we’ve now got the long haul of emotional coming-to-terms, and narrative progress into Chuck’s story but also Chuck’s storytelling. I think we’re finally gonna come to understand not only his writing process, but also expose all his storytelling weaknesses and failed drafts and eternal rewrites. And his intended ending that TFW will now have to plot their own way out of.

And to me, in s15, that’s the story I’m actually interested in dissecting, because that’s the real story of Faith vs Free Will, and I think that’s what must become the final showdown of the season.

And all of these narrative WTF moments, like these questions have raised above, will go to serve as Red Herrings or Chekhov’s Guns, or both. Because Chuck’s panic writing without an editor, and his head’s so far up his own ass and is more interested in narrative vengeance on his rebellious characters that he’s losing touch with what the reality of the universe he’s created actually *is.* Or what his theoretical audience would actually want for these characters as an emotionally satisfying ending after 15 years of them becoming “real” in his story.

I think this will be the main point of 15.04 (and possibly 15.05, based on the very little I actually know about that episode yet). So as painful as it is for us right now, try not to lose sight of this larger picture. And don’t let yourself become too obsessed with Chuck’s increasingly improbable plot devices, because they’re a narrative distraction (for TFW and us-the-audience alike, like an incompetent stage magician pointing over the audience’s head and yelling OMG IS THAT BIGFOOT?! and hoping the audience will all turn around long enough to shove a rabbit in his hat...)

#spn 15.03 #spn s15 spoilers #spn s15 speculation #spn cosmology #supernatural weapons #heaven hell purgatory and the empty #chuck is a hack #and it's supposed to be obvious that he's a hack... :'D #Anonymous

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peepee-magee · 5 years ago

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Reverse Au cuz God has forbidden me from sleep

I see a lot of reverse au stuff for the good omens fandom and it's all fantastic, but I can't get into most of them which sucks so I decided at this 3 am sleepless juncture to blurt my version of this AU because I have nothing else better to do.

In my head the ideal AU with the universes two most favorite dorks is one where Angel Crowley runs a flower shop/nursery, and is unabashedly loving of everything in the shop. He heals up plants who gets spots, he is unendingly forgiving of their short comings, and keeps the lesser plants for his personal garden in the hopes one day they'll be as magnificent as their siblings who he sells only to those who he knows know what their doing; unable to bare the idea of the wrong hands killing them.

As I see it canon Crowley has plants as a way to vent, and unleash millennia of pain and frustration which Angel Crowley wouldn't have much need for. In my AU Angel Crowely is, yes, frustrated from time to time with his lot but can't bring himself to let it out on his plants. They try to hard to be their best for him, and when he's really upset they even go so far as to produce new blooms just to cheer him up.

AU Crowely uses his plants for a similar but opposite reasoning. He uses them to try and heal pains he can't heal on himself or others. Guilt about that big flood rising up? Save a new plant, and try and make it grand. Doubt to the great plan? Well, time to grow a huge, complicated plant so hard to take care of he can think of nothing else. A certain demon he can't help with his suffering? Bring a plant back from the brink of death and cherish it in his pride collection for the rest of time.

Which is where Demon Aziraphale comes in.

In my head Demon Aziraphale would be semi the opposite. He's still hospitable on the surface, but only as a means to an end. He's angry he's fallen, but is unwilling to forgive and even more unwilling to accept things as they've been set. He works very hard while on earth to try and prove almost out of spite he would still make a good angel and it always ends up backfiring on him. He'll do a miracle to try and make someones life better, but accidently ends up making things worse.

(i.e: Miracles someones crashed computer fixed in a coffee shop in a thumb up 'ha, see did something good' only to have it turn out the person with the crashed laptop had been trying to hack everyone in the coffee shop via the shared wifi to steal their bank info.)

Every time he fucks up trying to be good and prove God made a mistake casting him out he feels both immense guilt and rage. Flabbergasted as to why she'd make (originally) an angel who could only do bad in the first place. He hates how comfortable he feels in hell. He hates being praised by his side for his misdeeds because all that are unassigned are normally unintentional. He proposes The Arrangement as a way to dodge having to do purely bad assignments as much as he can, and Crowely leaps at the opportunity at the globe just to try and ease a bit of his obvious frustration. (He said no in Wessex, but after all these centurys what started out as mild sympathy has practically turned the demons personal suffering into his own come on.) He practically clings to earth, and humanity for stability in the times he's not around Crowley to put on an 'all I do is on purpose' facade because despite him being born the worlds very best worst most humans still kind of like him. Love him in fact, because he's outwardly nice, friendly and helpful even when he's being guarded about himself, and his things. He still fucks up, but most humans appreciate his attempts especially when it's obvious he's really trying. Of course it's mostly an act, and long stretches of forced niceness just make him feel even more horrible for having to fake, but he really does give it his all to try and absorb as much of the act as he can in hopes it'll just leak into him and become natural at some point.

He still owns a bookshop and still collects rare tomes as well as his love for food, and it's really the only thing he uses his inherent evil for. ( Steals, bribes, cheats, and gambles his way to his vast collection.) Despite this however he really does cherish his books, and takes great pride in owning each one regardless of how he got them. Especially since he considers each nefarious gain it's own personal story for each book in addition to the stories already on the pages themselves.

They both work on the same street on opposite ends by just before antichrist time. Both know full well of one another, and both chock it up to their sides as 'keeping an eye' even though for YEARS since 1800 Aziraphale's bookshop has seemed to drift closer and closer with each move.

(First excuse to move shop was termites, then a fire hazard, then oh woops looks like there is a plumbing issue, leaks, can't have that with old books around.)

Crowley sees right though his shit by the thrid time he's moved but dosent say shit because he's both amused and curious to see exactly how close the demon can get before one of their sides notices. Only Hell really ever notices enough to care mentioning tho as Heaven trusts Crowley (he's been a very exemplary angel by all the reports he's sent in even tho at least 1/3rd of them are twisted truths, but it dosent hurt he also kisses major ass whenever he has to physically report in) and when Hell questions Aziraphale he just chocks it up to 'circling prey' all ominous like with a creepy smile (he's a vulture afterall) and Hell just kind of shudders and accepts that as an answer cuz all of Aziraphale's fuck ups have proven very well for his record as a demon.

By the time their living on the same street just at opposite ends Crowely finally takes the piss, and walks into Aziraphale's shop like he's any normal customer, and just starts talking him up about books much to Aziraphale's momentary terror because while indeed he's been telling Crowely about his moves he'd stopped saying where he was moving to after the 20th, and momentarily worries Heaven has sent him to intervene, but no. Crowley sees the fear on his face, and takes enough mercy to stop taking the piss long enough to invite me to lunch etc etc.

Basically Crowely is an angel easily attached to this to good, guilt riddled demon and for 6000 years finds little excuses to bump into him just to check up on how he's doing at first, but by Rome and oysters he's in love because he's just utterly enchanted with the demons leap and bound attempts to try and do good despite himself. (He didn't even try to corrupt the emperor he'd been sent to influence for heaven sake! Activly vented for an hour over oysters how he tried so hard to talk him into doing good only for it to backfire, and make things worse.)

While Aziraphale is smittin in the middle of the Reign of Terror when he needs to mircale his seemingly stupid angel out of chains all because he so despretly wanted to try and come see the gardens, and architecture before it was all destroyed, and best yet the angel makes up for the need of rescue by offering to pay for lunch with a face that reads 'what a good deed it was, saving me, right?' How is he suppose to say no to that, what?

Then after that it seems Crowley just dives head first into dangerous situations knowing full well Aziraphale will just jump at the chance to do good even though after 1941 they stop so much stroking the demons ego as they do start stressing him out cuz he is so deep in his feels at this point loosing him even for a bit would crush him, but Crowely at this point can't fucking help himself cuz watching Aziraphale squirm for him has slowly become a slight sadistic delight (as much as an angel can have one anyway) given that when they first met Aziraphale barely paid him the courtesy of their breif conversation. (Seemed aggravated to hear about the sword, and flew off after that with a huff.)

Crowley just can't help but soak up the attention now that he has it. Giddily returning it when ever he can through dates at the ritz or gifts which is as far as he's willing to leap since the first, and last time he kissed the demon on the cheek after a particularly dashing rescue the demon nearly brust into flames and avoided him for 3 decades.

I've been rambling a long time on this, and finally getting tired so I'll stop here pff-

Idk what to do with all this but might write since I can't stop thinking about it with all the other aus floating around.

#good omens #sorry for the rant #reverse au #demon aziraphale #angel crowley

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obaewankenope · 5 years ago

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on the ranking of angels

the whole ranking of angels kinda comes from one guy: pseudo-dionysius the areopagite from 5th century ad, this dude gave us the basis for ranking angels in groups, levels, grades, choirs etc

we don’t really know who tf he was since he literally just made himself out to be some psuedo version of dionysius (because we obviously needed another dionysius in human history) and i’d love to time travel and kick him in the nads if i could.

anyway. so yeah. ranking angels.

my upbringing is catholic and i went to communion and read that godsawful bible and blah-blah and so on so like, a lot of my own understanding stems from that and then the deranged Research Frenzies i’m known for. this means i’ve done learning about this topic and generally, i feel like there’s a bit of a... misunderstanding in the good omens fandom as to where aziraphale, crowley (as raphael or not), gabriel and co seem to land in terms of ranks and power levels.

cherubim, seraphim, archangels... fancy words we sort of know but don’t really Get. time to get em.

F I R S T S P H E R E

saraph/seraph-im:

according to tradition, these boys are top dog in christian theology but fifth in jewish. my memory serves to remind me that archangels are also seraphim and that the three main types of angels are cherubs, saraph, and thrones with the other spheres being more titles for them to have on top of that. i’ve read online where the archangels michael, gabriel, and samael/lucifer are either saraph or cherubs but this is... well, thanks to pseudo-dionysius, not exactly easy to frickin’ parse. the book of isaiah describes saraphs as having six wings (two on the back, two hiding the face, two at the feet/genitals).

this means that gabriel, lucifer, michael, uriel and even sandalphon (dude why no ‘iel’ on the end, it’s sad) are higher ranks than aziraphale in terms of sheer power even if they may be outranked by aziraphale regarding humans proper. make sense? nope? not surprising.

cherub-im:

cherubs attend to god and are also kinda shoved into the joyous role of guarding eden. in jewish theology, cherubs are either second or third lowest ranked (eighth or ninth) compared to the saraphs who are middle of the way. it’s from cherubs -- described in the book of ezekiel -- that we have that many faced, multi-winged conception of angels btw. usually a lion, ox, human, and eagle to represent all types of animals (where’s the snake you say? crowley nicked it... probably). thanks to some later western christian traditions we kinda see cherubs as plump, little, babies with those bows with love-heart arrows (probably crowley’s doing to piss aziraphale off). cherubs do have two pairs of wings (four in total) compared to the six that saraphs have, making them different at least there.

so aziraphale being a cherub makes sense. but he’s gonna be second-tier to saraphs like gab’ and co thus he does still obey gabriel as and when required--only in regards to humans can aziraphale kinda disobey because principality trumps archangel with humans but again, gabriel has more pull in heaven and can still punish him (plus gabriel is an asshole in the show and is Just Like That)

thrones aka ophanim:

these fellas are kinda just guards of gods throne. they’re called thrones or galgalim (refers to ezekiel’s wheels during his vision of the chariot). a dead sea scroll calls them angels and puts them below saraphs and cherubs while the book of enoch says they never sleep (like saraphs and cherubs) and guard god’s throne. i can’t really find any names ascribed to this group but are associated with meting out divine justice and maintain cosmic harmony.

i can only imagine how Done they are with crowley over him stopping time...

i’m just gonna straight up skip the second sphere because, well; dominions organise lower angels and keep things ticking over; virtues are the sign post makers of divine shit; and powers/authorities just watch a lot and keep things running along on a cosmic scale. so, administrators. literally. poor civil servants of heaven. they probably don’t even get a decent pay.

the third sphere is what we’re interested in anyway, because of the whole “principalities outrank archangels tho” stuff. so here we are

T H I R D S P H E R E

principalities:

principalities/rulers are guides and protectors of nations and institutions. so you’d have a principality guarding the catholic church, one covering the orthodox church, another who deals with maybe protecting italy and so on. aziraphale is the principality of the eastern gate of eden, that- that’s a pretty big thing. principalities wear crowns and carry sceptres, and carry out the orders given to them by upper sphere angels.

in canon, aziraphale is a principality, but i can’t recall him being called anything. i’m not sure if it’s fandom deciding here’s a cherub or not, ignoring the spheres or not, or whatever, but he doesn’t Really rank above gabriel. gaiman himself made a note of the difference between Archangels and archangels - the capital A makes the difference. so see seraphs as Archangels and third sphere archangels as the generic boys.

in my mind, gabriel and michael -- as pretty much the only really named archangels in christian theology -- are the Archangels whilst sandalphon and uriel are archangels. so aziraphale can ignore two of the four but not michael or gabriel outright (we’re not discussing the disobedience by avoidance tactic he employs a lot). expanding the Archangel category to include maybe Raphael (angel of healing) and Azrael (angel of death) works too, but generally, aziraphale can’t disobey direct orders from them because they are his bosses. unless -- and this is the thing -- it comes to something involving His Specific Principality. but being the principality of eden is... well, eden doesn’t exist anymore. some major mental gymnastics would be required for aziraphale to decide Earth Is Eden Thus Earth Is My Principality SUCK IT GABRIEL and ignore heaven... actually... this might well explain a fair amount of his behaviour lmao. someone else can play with That tho.

archangels:

funnily enough, archangels aren’t mentioned in the bible more than two or three times. in christianity, gabriel is called an archangel but there’s actually nothing in the bible to support that. michael is called an archangel in the new testament tho. the word means “chief angel” coming from greek archein for first in rank or power -- hence why it’s a bit odd for archangels to be ranked below others. archangel is only ever a singular term and used Only for michael btw.

but in the book of tobit/tobias, we get an archangel raphael, an archangel uriel is also brought up in anglican and russian orthodox religions. raphael isn’t really considered a Canon angel outside of roman catholicism (my lot btw), eastern orthodox and anglicans, whilst uriel isn’t mentioned in the western christian bible at all.

raphael gives us the idea of seven archangels btw - from the book of tobit where he says he’s “one of the seven who stand before the Lord”.

in the books of enoch and revelations, we’re told that there are seven spirits of god that stand before the throne and some interpretations have the seven archangels as those seven spirits.

depending on the theological tradition, the names of the archangels vary. the ones i know of as roman catholic are gabriel, michael, and raphael (lucifer doesn’t count bc he’s fallen obvs), whereas eastern orthodox has seven and even an extra one depending: michael, gabriel, raphael, uriel, selaphiel/salathiel, jegudiel/jehudiel, barachiel, and jerahmeel/jeremiel.

the names vary depending on what faith you are but, generally, the three most common are gabriel, michael, and raphael - who are described as seraphim or cherubim and archangels as like their job title.

angels:

regular dudes. i cba even going Into This One Okay?

so all of this means that aziraphale is second to gabriel no matter what unless he does some awesome mental gymnastics and claims earth as eden and argues it’s his job to oversee it as fit (just imagine the vein in gabriel’s head popping from That Conversation).

aziraphale is definitely powerful, he’d have to be as a principality of eden - it’s kind of a Big Deal to be in charge of eden, even if you might share the job with three others - but he’s not quite as powerful as an archangel who is basically the second in command of heaven after god.

unless, as i’ve said, aziraphale draws on his position as a principality and uses That over gabriel who seems very set on his “i’m the fucking archangel gabriel” spiel lmao.

so yeah. this is just A Thing for me. idk if any one else feels this way about it all or not, but you can ignore me about all of this. i’m not an Authority on it and honestly, this is more to make sense of it all For Myself than to Tell Ya’ll How It Ought To Be.

#Good Omens #Ineffable husbands #Crowley #Aziraphale #archangels #cherubim #saraphim #saraphs #seraphim #cherub #angel rankings #angelic choirs #gabriel #michael #meta #kat writes #i got distracted from fic by this lmao

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charliesshitposts · 5 years ago

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Supernatural Omens (part four)

The nice and inaccurate prophecies of someone.somewhere about something that never happened. A fan fiction.

Warnings:None. :) Feel free to read this in front of your family and pets :)

Word count: Idk but it’s longer than the last one.

———————————————————————————————————

Dean tried desperately to break free from Crowleys grip. Sam, on the other hand, was too preoccupied looking at Castiel, Jack and Aziraphale to care about who was pulling him, or that his arm was in extreme pain.

The demon dragged the brothers through the park towards his Bentley mumbling under his breath the whole time. Who knows how but he managed to push both of them into the backseat at the same time. Seconds later he was behind the wheel. The car locked itself as soon as Crowley slammed the door, cutting the idea of making a run for it right out of Sam and Deans mind.

Up until this point the eldest Winchester had kept his cool with the whole recently found antichrist situation. He had been a hot headed man with very little patience. But over time his brother and friends, especially Castiel, had taught him to control both of those flaws. But this situation, being pulled apart and dragged away from the angel and the nephilim,was just the start of a a snowball effect that would make him snap with time.

They sat in the backseat quietly while Crowley tore down the road faster than ever.The trees and grassy fields they passed by looked like blurry blotches through the windows.His tears had dried up. Now he felt numb.Not a single ounce of emotion was traceable on his face.His lips were stiff. His eyes looked dead behind his sunglasses. It was Sam who tried to make small talk with Crowley. His heart was in the right place. And it worked.

“I’m really sorry about what happened back there.”Sam said softly.”It wasn’t right for him to say what he said the way he said it.”

Crowley sighed.”I guess.He was right about one thing though. That we are on opposite sides. Our sides hate each other mutually. It’s been like this since the beginning of time.But after I got to know him I realized that not all angels are uptight. I thought he felt the same way. It just goes to show that you never really learn everything about a person. And right when you think you know them like the back of your hand, they do something that will completely throw you off. I hope he wasn't faking it the whole time. It would hurt way more if he was.”After a moments pause he added.”I’m really sorry we dragged you into this mess. You guys shouldn’t be here.This isn’t your fight. I might still have enough things to open a portal back to your bunker. I’ll keep it open until Castiel and Jack come over.”

Dean spoke up this time. The tone in his voice serious.”What about you?”

Crowley shrugged.”Brace for impact. Grab whatever I can carry and find a good hiding spot. Whatever's coming isn’t good.I’ll just have to be prepared.”

“You can’t give up now Crowley.You’re so close.”

The Bentley stopped. Crowley turned to look at the brothers.”Close? I’m nowhere near close. We have no idea where his-”

“We do.” Dean said.”Aziraphale made Castiel mute because he was going to say that Aziraphale was lying.He does in fact know where the antichrist is. But if the plan was to not tell you, the idiot shouldn’t have told us. We know where he is-”From the pocket of his shirt Dean produced a paper.”and I wrote it down.”

Crowley took the paper from Dean’s hand.”You are a genius my friend. Number 4 Hogback Lane here we come! But before we do, would one of you like to come ride upfront?”

“Well I rode up front the first time so I think it’s only fair that Sammy does it this time.”

Crowley nodded.“Fair enough.Come up front moose.”

Sam’s eyes widened.”Moose?”

Dean laughed.”There’s no time for questions. Now go up front moose.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the bandstand Aziraphale was being scolded by Castiel. Jack stood a couple yards away watching a squirrel fight another squirrel for an acorn. He didn’t hear them.

“Was that really necessary??” Castiel asked.”Why on earth would you lie to Crowley? You know where the antichrist is. If you would have told him we’d be on our way to number 4 Hogback Lane right now to put an end to all of this. Why didn’t you tell him?”

“It’s been necessary for almost 6000 years,I’ll have you know. If anyone from the higher level of angels found out that i’ve been hanging out regularly with a demon lord knows what they will do with me. And I didn’t tell him because I knew that If I told him he’d want us to go together.That can’t happen.”

“So what if they do?!” Castiel asked.”Aziraphale..you know as well as I do that angels aren’t supposed to do a lot of things. Hanging out with humans and adopting there ways in my world is one thing that’s frowned upon. And for a while I was shunned by the higher ups. I have done so many things that I’m not supposed to for the sake of my boys. And if I had to do it all over again,I’d make the same choices without a second to think it over. Sometimes the correct way isn’t the right way. Now we know where the antichrist is, right? We’ll go there, do what we have to do and fix your situation with Crowley when we get to it.”

Aziraphale thought it over. Castiel had a point and he knew it. It was best to trust him and do what he said for the time being.He also felt horrible for saying what he said to Crowley. He hadn’t meant a word of what he had said.And he wanted to apologize as soon as possible. The angel nodded.”Okay. You’re right. You’re absolutely right. Let’s get a move on.We’re actually not that far away from Tadfield.”

“Okay.That’s good. Jack! Come on!” Castiel called out. When Jack didn’t answer,he called out again.”Jack?”

Aziraphale leaned over the bandstand banister to get a better shouting range”JACK?!”

Castiel walked a few feet away from the bandstand and shouted.”JACK KLINE ANSWER ME THIS INSTANT!!”

Aziraphale quickly ran towards Castiel.”The small town of Tadfield is this way. I think we can find him faster if we run.”

authors note:For the sake of this fanfic lets say that the bandstand is 15 minutes away from Tadfield.Yes? Okay great. Glad you’re on board.

The angel and the seraph, both out of shape, charged full speed down the opening road that connected the small park to Tadfield. They got to the entrance of the city panting and gasping for breath. Castiel bent over to breath better. His feet ached. The back of Aziraphale’s legs stung. He had gotten two cramps whilst running, one on each leg. That didn’t make him stop.

Castiel looked up. A bead of sweat trailed down his temple. In his blurry vision he managed to make out a familiar silhouette. It was Jack, standing between four motorcycle’s. The drivers seemed to be asking for directions to somewhere.

When Aziraphale saw this he bursted into a limping sprint.“No! No no no! Jack get away from them!”The motorcyclists drove off before the angel arrived. He interrogated Jack.”Why in heavens would you go off by yourself like that? You don’t know what kind of people live around these parts. What did those motorcyclists say to you?”

“Aziraphale.”Jack laughed.”Calm down. Look i’m sorry I took off. I realize it was wrong and I won’t do it again. They we’re asking for directions to the U.S. Airbase. Their reasons I don’t know.”

Cas caught up to them. He stood next to Jack.”What happened?”

“The four motorcyclists wanted directions to the U.S. airbase.”Jack said.”I didn’t know where it is but I wished them luck on trying to get there.”

Aziraphale had grown quiet and rigid. He stared at the floor with wide eyes. He was thinking,racking his brain trying to remember why the number 4 was important. He pushed the idea of Number 4 Hogback Lane from his mind because he knew that wasn’t it.He made a mental note to go back to that thought later.

The three started their walk towards the row of houses. They’d check each street sign until they’d find the one they were looking for. Until then they discuss what they’d do when they were face to face with Adam. Aziraphale had only now just told them what the antichrists name was.

Jack smiled.”Adam?”

“Yes.”Aziraphale nodded.”Adam Young. He’s eleven.”

“How did you know you were taking care of the wrong child?”

“Well you see..a dog was supposed to be given to him on his eleventh birthday. Crowley said it was supposed to be a big scary hellhound. Well..he didn’t really say scary. I sort of figured out that bit on my own. Because if it has the word hell in its name than it’s supposed to be scary, right?”

Castiel gave Aziraphale a look of admiration.”Hellhounds are invisible from where we’re from. None of us have seen what they look like. Including Dean, who was killed by one.”

“Is that the occasion where you pulled him out of hell?”

“Yes it is.”

“Right.” The angel looked over at Jack.”What about you, lad?How did you get tangled up with the Winchesters and Castiel.”

Jack looked up at the sky as he talked.”Well as you know,my dad is who he is. He wasn’t around when my mom Kelly was pregnant with me. But Castiel was. I heard his voice all the time while I was growing inside her.As soon as I was born Sam was on board to take me under his wing.So was Cas. It took Dean a great deal of convincing but eventually he learned accept me. I’ve gained their trust and friendship over time and i’ve been living with them ever since, going on hunts and most recently attending school.”

“You lead an interesting life Jack. Be thankful of what you have.”

“I am every single day.”

The sound of tires burning the asphalt behind them made them turn. Aziraphale’s face lit up when he saw the car model. A 1926 Black Bentley. He eagerly ran towards the middle of the road. Castiel reached out to grab him but missed by a couple of inches.

“Aziraphale!” Cas exclaimed.”I don't think he's going to stop.”

“He will!”The angel replied happily.”You’ll see.”

Crowley noticed the angel a little too late. He stepped on the breaks using all his force. But it was no use. He hit Aziraphale. Not hard enough to kill him, if that were possible, but hard enough to send him flying down the road. Sam and Dean quickly got out of the car. Crowley was already running towards the angel. Aziraphale’s eyes were closed but he was still conscious. Crowley thought he had actually killed him. Thus began the biggest sob fest he had ever protagonized. And Aziraphale would never let him forget it.

“Angel?” Crowley choked out.”Angel? Come on..don’t do this to me. Not now. You’re allowed to die on any other day but not today.Wake up.” On purpose Aziraphale went limp in Crowleys arms. He was an extraordinary actor. Adding the scrapes and bruises and the dirty clothes, Aziraphale looked dead. Crowley shook him.”Angel?! ANGEL?! Dammit Aziraphale wake up!” Crowley shook him violently. Not once did Aziraphale open his eyes or smile.The demon sobbed through sentences.”You might not want anything to do with me anymore..and I understand that. I understand that you’ve put up with a lot throughout the years.But I can’t live with myself knowing that you...that I...wake the hell up! I’ll lick you. Do you want me to lick you, ‘cause i’ll do it. WAKE THE HELL UP AZIRAPHALE! ”

“What’s the magic word?” Asked Aziraphale, his eyes still closed.

Crowley growled.”Please. Please wake the hell up.”It took him a second to realize who had just said that. His eyes suddenly widened.”HEY!”

Aziraphale sat up and smiled at the demon.”i’m fine. Don’t get your wings in a twist you overdramatic demon.”

Crowley threw himself onto the angel. They hugged one another tightly. “Listen.”Crowley sniffed.”If you never want to speak to me after the apocalypse that's okay. That’s fine. But let’s finish this together. Let’s kick ass one last time. Then you can go. And i’ll never bother you again.”

“You see Crowley..I can’t do that.”The demon looked down sadly. Aziraphale continued.”Because..if we part ways, who will be there to reach the highest bookshelf for me?”

Crowley smiled widely. The boys, who were all gathered around watching, smiled. They were glad that the angel and the demon had settled their differences. It was then that they heard it. The sound of trumpets. Armageddon had begun.

**Authors note**

Hope you’ve enjoyed reading chapter 4. Stay tuned for chapter 5. There might be spelling errors. If there are i’ll correct them sometime during the week. Also I left Dean’s plot on a cliffhanger. It will be resolved hopefully in the next chapter.

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our-smooty · 5 years ago

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Flowerbeds and Fertile Soil: Chapter 4

Fandom: Good Omens

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens, )Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer

Tags: Kidfic, Mpreg kind of, they can choose to present however so idk, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Vulva (Good Omens), OCs Galor, parenting, using your snake form to avoid confrontation, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pregnancy, if I missed a tag lemme know

Summary: They could do anything, go anywhere, all without the worry of Above or Bellow making a fuss. Even so, they mostly kept to their little patch of Eden, their cottage and garden and the simple life they’d carved out among the locals. Aziraphale opened a book shop in town, where he only occasionally sold any books (and the ones he did sell, were all modern and stocked specifically for that purpose). Crowley focused his attentions on the garden, and if he occasionally helped their elderly neighbour with her disobedient willow tree, then that was a secret no one needed to know. Lately, however, they had both been feeling rather restless, unbeknownst to each other. Aziraphale tried reorganizing his store, changing the way he tied his bowtie and even ate pizza –something he considered to be far too messy for him personally. Crowley had branched out into birdwatching, and then car maintenance (the human way), and even reading. Nothing scratched the itch for either of them.

Ao3 Link

My Ko-Fi

God did not play dice with the universe. She did occasionally flip a coin, though that was only to help her know which option she really favoured. There was a Plan, an idea of how things were meant to go, but sometimes She liked to step in and fiddle a bit. Other times, She thought it was best if She stepped back and let things take their course.

That was what She had been doing with Earth for the last few thousand years. She watched, and She waited to see what Her children--including the angels and the demons--would do with what she’s given them. She created the Metatron to speak for Her, to add even more distance, and things went as they did for a very long time.

She had Her favourites, of course. Mortals, angels, demons, there were always a select few She enjoyed looking in on when the fancy took Her. Of all of them, Her Crowley and Aziraphale were the most interesting. How they adapted, how they grew around each other and became so intertwined that even She could barely tell their auras apart. How they, or all the would-be protectors and destroyers of Earth, really understood humanity and Her creation.

Which was why, when She decided to look in on them again a while after everything, She was gravely concerned. It seemed that they had carved out a little life for themselves, and She was happy for that. But there was discord as well. A large amount of sadness and pain had begun to emanate from them both and it only took one quick look to see why. Oh, Her poor children. So worried about doing wrong when they were incapable of it. And there, just as She glanced over, were two more of Her children, both misguided in their endeavour to uphold what they thought was right.

This wouldn’t do. Those two, the former not the latter, had been through so much in the name of Her Ineffable Plan. They deserved a break and She would not allow anyone, even Her angel Gabriel and his demonic counterpart, to interrupt their well-deserved peace.

God hadn’t been down to Earth in a formal capacity for millennia. She dropped in once or twice a century to try some of the food, and listen to the music; to walk among the people and truly get to know Her creations. But it had been a long time since She revealed herself in Her glory on the mortal plane. This would be a special treat for all parties involved, if not marginally terrifying. Better to choose a more comforting form, one that wouldn’t make Her children quake in fear ( even if that may have been Her goal, just a little bit, when it came to Beezlebub and Gabriel; they had both been led so far astray).

She saw Aziraphale open the door, saw Crowley come up behind him take in the twin grimaces on their antagonist's faces. There was no more time to waste watching, She knew, and in a flash of Holy light, God was back on Earth, just a few meters down the block from one South Downs cottage.

“Crowley,” Beezelbub growled, looking right past Aziraphale. Conversely, Gabriel’s icy gaze was training on the angel, something restrained and dark hiding there. Crowley wanted to step in front of Aziraphale, to shield him from both their former bosses, but Aziraphale was taking up the entire doorway and refusing to budge even with Crowley’s insistent tugging at the hem of his jacket.

“Angel…” Crowley begged, but Aziraphale wouldn’t budge. “Angel get back!”

“Gabriel, Beelzebub. What a… surprise,” Aziraphale said in his best customer-scaring pleasant-but-cold tone. “To what do we owe this visit?”

“Don’t play games with us, Aziraphale,” Gabriel drawled in his usual, unaffected tone. “You know exactly why we’re here so cut the shit.”

Honestly, Crowley wasn’t sure why both of them were on their doorstep, only that it wasn’t good. Had it really taken Heaven and Hell a decade to figure out the switcharoo they pulled with the hellfire and holy water? Or were they finally tired of all the self-indulgent miracles the two had been performing and where here to put a stop to it?

“I assure you, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Beezlebub took a step forward, their flies buzzing around all four parties in an incredibly vile fashion. Crowley reflexively tugged at Aziraphale again even though he knew it was pointless.

“Don’t be smart with me, angle,” the way they said it was so unlike how it sounded coming from Crowley’s mouth, and it made him twitch, “don’t you think we know everything about what you’ve been doing?”

“Did you forget about the back channels?” Someone, Crowley wanted to punch that smug look off of Gabriel’s face. “We know the--frankly disgusting--things you’ve been discussing. You know that creating more of those Abominations is forbidden. I didn’t think you’d stoop so low, but I’m not surprised.”

Crowley’s jaw tightened and his teeth began to sharpen into fangs instinctually. He felt Aziraphale stiffen as well, his hands clenching behind his back in a rapid rhythm. This was not what either of them had been expecting to happen, at least, not in this way. Maybe they shouldn’t have banked so much on their ruse keeping the Powers that Be away and sorted out an actual plan. Considering who they were dealing with, there probably wasn’t much they could have done outside of trading bodies permanently and that was not an option.

“Well I never…” Aziraphale blustered. It was hard for him to get the words out, and Crowley wasn’t in the state of mind to even try. Gabriel looked like he was going to try and barge his way into their home at any second to dispatch Heavenly justice, and Beezelbub just looked thrilled about the entire thing and Crowley had no idea what to do. He tried to grip onto Aziraphale tighter, to keep him close, but he knew it wouldn’t last.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be. You both better come quietly this time and no ‘funny business’. God knows how you managed to get out of your punishments last time, but it’s not going to happen again.” Faster than either of them could react there were restraints around their wrists. Beezlebub was smirking waving their hand and adding fabric gags to the works. Both were tied too tightly, making Crowley squirm uncomfortably as his lips were pressed into his fangs. Aziraphale didn’t seem to be faring much better, wiggling frantically against the bonds.

“We aren’t using hellfire and holy water this time,” Beezlebub hissed, pushing past Aziraphale to grab Crowley. Behind them Gabriel did the same with the angel and Crowley watched as Azirpahale flinched at the unwanted touch. Oh Somebody was this how things were going to end? They’d barely gotten to make up, he hadn’t even gotten to kiss his angel in 2 days. “If we can’t destroy you outright, we’ll just make you wish we could.”

Crowley knew about the Pits of Hell. He’d been a few times over the years for various reasons (and sometimes no reason at all, Hell just liked to torture their employees and they were very good at it) so he knew what to expect. But Crowley had no idea of what Heaven would do to Aziraphale, could only imagine it’d been much, much worse than his own fate what with how insidiously harsh Gabriel and the other angels could be. He tried to struggle against his bonds and Beezlebub’s grip, desperate to save Aziraphale if not himself, but to no avail.

“Stop squirming you--!” A polite cough interrupted The Prince of Hell’s insult. All four beings on the steps snapped to attention immediately--it was impossible not to recognize that voice. Crowley wasn’t sure if they were about to be saved, or even further punished.

Gabriel was the first to recover, turning around to fully face the person-shaped Almighty without letting go of Aziraphale. “Lord, it’s such an honour that you would come here to personally witness the punishment of these tra--”

God held up a hand, the face of the corporation she was wearing impassive. The grip on his arms began to slacken and Crowley realized Beezlbub was gawking at the figure in front of them. To be fair, Crowley would have been doing the same if the gag allowed; this was the first time any demon had been in the presence of the Almighty since The Fall.

“I have already seen what’s going on here, Gabriel. Under whose authority are you exacting this punishment? Because no one has consulted me, or the Metatron, on this matter.” Gabriel looked nervous. Eyebrows rising high into his hairline, Crowley felt himself begin to, impossibly, hope.

“They intend to create an Abomination, my Lord! And you decreed after the Nephilim--”

“Silence, Gabriel. And Beezlebub close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” If their situation had been less dire Crowley would have giggled at the way Beezlebub’s mouth clicked shut on command. Instead he stared in awe at the unimposing, but undeniably powerful form in front of him.

“Now, if you had done things properly, and put forward your request for the Angel Aziraphale to be punished, you would have discovered, My Archangel, that My feelings on the matter are very different than yours. And as for the Demon Crowley, I was under the impression that Hell had made an oath to keep their distance, and a Demonic Oath is not something to be broken willy-nilly.” Crowley did make a hysterical noise at that, muffled as it was. Aziraphale glanced back at him and they shared a mutual look of “what the fuck is going on?”.

“Furthermore,” She continued, “if you had taken the time to check, you would have seen that there is no Law against the fraternization of Angels and Demons in any capacity. So tell me then, why you have accosted these two in their own home, and why you have been spying on them?”

Gabriel sputtered, chocking out half-words and phrases while trying to make himself look as small and apologetic as possible. It was hilarious to watch, but not as funny as the way Beezlebub was squirming under God’s benevolent stare.

“And you, Beezlebub. I will not pretend to order you about, but I want you to know that I am very disappointed. Is this really the kind of thing Hell is using it’s resources on or is this just a petty grudge you two have against these poor boys?” Beezlebub shrank and mumbled into their shoes. Crowley couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he had a pretty good idea. Taking advantage of their distraction he shuffled forward under his shoulder was just barely brushing Aziraphale's. His angel looked back again and this time there was a sparkle in his eyes.

“You will release them at once, and you and any other members of Heaven or Hell will never attempt to interfere in their lives again. Have I made myself clear?” Her tone was that of a scolding mother and it brought back all sorts of memories from before Crowley’s Fall. He’d often gotten into trouble and received similar reprimands. “You will answer Me.”

“Yes, Almighty,” Gabriel grovelled, staring down at his outdated shoes. Beezlebub did some more mumbling and grumbling but it seemed to be enough for God because She nodded decisively.

“Good. Now away with you both. I would like to speak with them Myself and I will not have you spying.” With a wave of Her hand the Archangel and The Prince of Hell were banished back to their separate realms. Crowley and Aziraphale stood motionless, still bound and not entirely sure what was about to happen next.

“Well, that’s taken care of! Oh, sorry, My dears, let me get those for you.” She gestured and their bindings disappeared. Immediately Aziraphale turned in towards Crowley just as Crowley’s arms opened, ready to receive him. God said nothing as they clung to each other; let them have a few moments to come to grips with the fact they had nearly been separated again and lived.

“I cannot stay long, as <y presence here often disrupts Things. Are you alright, My sweet Aziraphale and My star Crowley?” She asked. Aziraphale shuddered and nodded, obviously trying to pull himself together enough to say something. Funnily enough, Crowley was able to find his voice first, though it was shaky and off-pitch.

“Why d’You care? Dropped me into a pit of boiling sulphur not 6000 years back didn’t You?” Aziraphale made a shocked noise, his hands fluttering up to cover Crowley’s mouth, but it was too late. Crowley had spent a long time sending angry not-prayers Her way, and he wasn’t going to miss this chance to say some of them in person.

God looked pensive for a moment. “Your Falling is one of My greatest regrets, Crowley. You were so inquisitive, but also very kind, which is why I needed you down on Earth. I needed someone unafraid to ask hard questions. Besides, you would not have been happy in Heaven, you were not like the others.”

“That’s not an apology.” He wasn’t sure where this bravery was coming from, maybe he’d finally gone over the deep end. Either way, this was happening.

God smiled. “Would you accept any I have to give?”

No he wouldn’t, and the fact that she knew that made him want to pout. Luckily Aziraphale had found his words in time to stop Crowley from staying anything too stupid.

“Thank you, Lord. You help has been much... appreciated,” he said, wringing his hands and glancing behind him past Crowley and into their home.

“But?” She asked, amused. Aziraphale flinched while Crowley grinned, proud of his bastard angel.

“But only, I do think Crowley and I would like to sit down and recover from the whole ‘once again facing our d ooms” thing, so if I could be so bold as to ask if You had any other er, business with us?” It was phrased politely enough, but anyone who knew the angel would know that tone. Of course, She knew Aziraphale completely, but She also seemed to understand.

“You will be able to rest soon enough. I only wanted to make sure you were both safe, and to let you know something very important.” Crowley scoffed and tightened his hold on Aziraphale almost protectively.

“Another Great Plan?” She smiled and Aziraphale paled. Crowley couldn’t help himself from asking questions.

“No, nothing like that. I only wanted you to know, that you do not have to be afraid of being punished by Heaven or Hell. Or Me. You have My permission to live here, on Earth, as you like. However, you like.” She smiled beatifically, while also giving them a wink. “I won’t keep you any longer. Goodbye, Aziraphale, Crowley.”

And with that, God turned around and strolled down their front path and out to the street. As She walked along the roadside and eventually out of sight Crowley and Aziraphale remained frozen in the doorway. Again Crowley was the first to recover enough to speak.

“Did God just… did She just--?” he stuttered, his legs shaking from the slow wearing-off of the adrenaline that had kept them both standing. "Did she just give us permission to--?”

“Be fruitful and multiply?” Aziraphale finished, his voice airy and slightly unfocused. “I believe she did.”

A beat. Then Crowley unwrapped his arms from around his angel, instead bringing his hands up to grab at Aziraphale’s shirt collar. “Angel, if you don’t take me inside right now and fuck me, I’m going to scream.”

It was kind of a jump, going from fighting over how they could never have that, to jumping into bed without even discussing the logistics of things, but Crowley didn’t care. God Herself had just told them it was OK to do the one thing he thought he'd never be allowed to do, and that it would turn out alright. He had enough faith left in Her not to second guess this blessing.

“Oh dear, are you sure? We haven’t really talked about this, and it’s such a big step…” Immediately Crowley was stepping back. Of course, he’d misunderstood, he’d jumped the gun like always, he’d gone to fast. Aziraphale noticed and took initiative, keeping Crowley close with a hand on his lower back and leading them both inside.

“Don’t pull away dear, I only wanted to make sure. You were so upset before, and I know what She said but if you need more time I--” But Crowley was done waiting, and he mashed their faces together messily. Aziraphale made a noise of surprise, then quickly caught up to speed, taking Crowley’s face in his hands and cupping his jaw. “Really? You want to? With me?”

“Yes,” Crowley whined, rubbing their hips together insistently. “I do want to, but I didn’t think we could. But we can and I swear to Somebody we can talk more later.”

Aziraphale didn’t argue, he couldn’t really with the way Crowley was begging. They were both still a little shaky, which presented a problem when Crowley was essentially trying to wrap himself around the angel like the snake he was. It only took a few minutes before it was obvious they either had to move somewhere where they could lay down, or do it on the floor of their front hall. The second option sounded appealing to both of them just for the immediacy, but they’d spent hours picking out sheets they both liked, and it would be a shame not to use the bed at every opportunity.

“Upstairs,” Crowley ordered, taking the angel by the hand and dragging him up to the second floor. The narrow cottage stairs were Hell to get up while Aziraphale was behind him trying to undo his belt but Crowley managed. At least their bedroom was the first room at the top. The door was open and the bed was made, their usual bottle of lube waiting on the bedside table innocuously.

“Crowley,” the murmur of Aziraphale’s voice was sweet as honey and twice as thick. “I want to--”

“Yes,” Crowley interrupted, miricaling the buttons and fastenings on Aziraphale’s waistcoat open. “Whatever you want, I want it like that.”

“On the bed. Trousers off.” Crowley scrambled to do ask he was asked, thankful for the solidness of the mattress underneath him finally. By the time he got comfortable his skinny jeans and shirt had disappeared to Satan-knew where, and he wasn’t wearing any pants. Aziraphale eyed him appreciatively in the same way he’d size up a delicious brunch spread and it made the demon’s whole body tingle. He arranged himself in a way that he hoped was appealing, legs spread open and his arms outstretched.

“Don’t keep me waiting, angel,” he rasped, wiggling his ass against the sheets a little. The only other sounds were the fast wooshing of Aziraphale’s breath and a faint ticking from the grandfather clock in the hall. “Want you in me, if you don’t mind.”

With a snap Aziraphale was naked too, exposing his cock to the cool air and making Crowley’s cunt clench with anticipation. A vagina seemed like a good idea for this sort of thing and he’d already had one because it looked better with his skinny jeans. It was the least effort to make the changes to his Effort this way, to tweak things to be on, more or less. “Oh Crowley, so pretty… like a flower--a rose.”

“Sssshut it!” Crowley hissed, thrusting up and down against the air. He was making his needs perfectly obvious but Aziraphale was going so slowly. “You can compliment me later but right now I want to celebrate the fact we aren’t fucking dead by shagging until I can’t walk!”

Finally Aziraphale got onto the bed, his knees coming to rest along the backs of Crowley’s thighs, their sexes nearly touching. “I intend to hold you to that, love. But for now, I’ll give you what you want.”

The Aziraphale was holding his member at the base, guiding it towards where Crowley wanted it most. Had it really only been a few days since they were last together? It felt like another 6000 years. The tip gently nudged between his folds and it was familiar and good. Normally he preferred to drag things out a bit to get them both to the point of begging, but Crowley knew he'd lose his marbles if he had to wait even a second more for Azirpahale to be inside him.

“Get. On. With. It.” His growling was made less intimidating but the fact each word came out with just the hint of a whine. Maybe he should flip them over, really give the angel a run for his money. That was his plan until Aziraphale began to move forward, stretching Crowley out in that way that made him ache inside. He could remember the first time he’d seen Aziraphale’s Effort, and how gobsmacked he’d been; trust the angel to have a pornstar cock without even an ounce of shame about it.

“You’ve very wet, darling,” Aziraphale cooed, bending over to kiss along Crowley’s collarbones. “So beautiful, my lovely boy. Always ready for me.”

“Aziraphale--!” The angel’s hands were drifting down to Crowley’s chest, his waist, his thighs. Skirting around his clit with butterfly presses as he finally shoved himself inside with a perfectly rough thrust. “Yes, Aziraphale, more!”

Aziraphale hushed him, though he was making little gasps of his own every once and awhile. “You deserve everything, my starlight.” He’s playing with the hair at the base of Crowley’s neck, a rhythmic winding and unwinding that perfectly complemented the clenching of his stomach. Crowley mewled at the praise, spreading his legs wider and grabbing Aziraphale around the shoulders. The angel smelled like sweat and their garden and his favourite tea; all things that made Crowley’s throat tight and his eyes wet. To stave off the incoming sob he turned his head and connected their lips in a hungry kiss.

It wasn’t going to take long for either of them to cum at the frantic pace Aziraphale was setting. But that was fine because they had nowhere else to be, and nothing else to do other than to enjoy each other. They could spend years wrapped up in bed together if they wanted, though their mutual acquaintances might come looking for them after a while. Especially once their newest godchild was born, at least.

Which reminded Crowley what they were actually doing here. This wasn’t run-of-the-mill sex, this had a purpose. When Aziraphale came he was going to… and Crowley would… Oh he couldn’t even think it without his whole body flushing. Later he’d probably laugh at himself, how excited he got over such a normal, human thing, but in the moment it only made him moan harder. Knowing Aziraphale was going to cum inside him, and it was going to take and make something that was both of them mixed together. Satan.

“Let me--fuck!--let me ride you,” Crowley gasped, pushing at Aziraphale’s shoulders and trying to shift them. “Aziraphale let me--please!”

“Yes, yes.” And then they were flipping, Aziraphale’s cock miraculously staying inside him the whole way and wasn’t that fantastic? Crowley started a good pace, slower than before but with much more grinding. His clit--maybe a little larger than a standard human’s but he was a demon after all--could rub against Aziraphale’s pubic bone if he slowed down a little and got the angle right. It made the angel groan and lift his hips to give Crowley all the room he needed to work.

Like a ship's mast broken in a storm, Crowley tipped forward onto Aziraphale’s chest, hips and legs still working hard to bring them to completion. Strong but soft hands wrapped around his waist to aid in their movements. Sex had always been something Crowley enjoyed, even before he and Aziraphale had finally gotten together, but it had never been like this. Like pleasure was bursting from the seams of his corporation, and then love was filling up the cracks. He found his mouth level with one of the angel’s nipples so he kissed it, a weak action to express the overwhelming surge of emotion.

“Oh!” Aziraphale’s nipples were always very sensitive and Crowley knew that. “Crowley you’re so good. I-I’m going to come darling, I’m going to come in you--!”

Crowley felt, actually felt, the angel come inside him. There was wetness, and throbbing, and Crowley rode him through it into his own orgasm, which hit him so hard he actually screamed. He may have slowed down time too, just a little, to extend their pleasure beyond what would normally be possible. By the time he let things go back to normal, he was shuddering, curled up on the angel’s chest with Aziraphale’s hands in his hair, stroking softly. Everything was hot and damp, but in a way that was enjoyable rather than disgusting.

“Are you back with me, dear?” Aziraphale asked softly, continuing to pet at Crowley’s curls. “That was a wicked trick, turning off time like that. You’ve worn yourself out.”

“Ngk.” There was a burning in his legs and a breathlessness in his chest that was just this side of unpleasant. Maybe stopping time to prolong one’s orgasm was a little much for the human form he wore. “Angel?”

“I’m here, dearest. What do you need?” Aziraphale, ever the gentleman bastard, grinned. “You feel very good, so loose and relaxed around my cock.”

It was then that Crowley, in his post-orgasm glow, realized that Aziraphal was still hard inside him, rocking very gently as to not overstimulate the poor demon. The moment Crowley became aware of it, it was like he couldn’t get enough, whimpering pathetically into Aziraphale’s light smattering of chest hair with renewed arousal.

“You know,” Aziraphale started and his voice was soft but also had a dark, foreboding twinge to it, “it can take some couples many times to, ah, conceive. It would be in our best interest to, well, to give it a go as much as we can. Unless it’s too much for you.”

Maybe it was too much, but Crowley liked too much. Too much alcohol, too much speed (of the driving, and the illegal substance variety), too much Aziraphale. He loved it all, craved it even. Determined to show his angel just how on board he was Crowley ground down weakly. Not enough to get anything done, but enough that Aziraphale would feel it.

“I can keep going,” he mumbled, barely able to get more than a few thrusts in before his tired legs gave up. “I want it.”

Aziraphale smiled down at him and placed a kiss on Crowley’s head. “Good. Let me just--” Aziraphale tipped them sideways this time, then rolled Crowley over more so his back was against the angel’s chest. This time his cock did come out, and Crowley made a little noise of discontent as he felt come and his own slick leak out over his thighs. “Just a tick dear. Lift your leg? Good boy, thank you.”

If the angel kept going on like that Crowley wasn’t going to last, which was alright, because the demon would let Aziraphale fuck him for as long as he liked. Crowley would be happy to lay here and receive anything Aziraphale wanted to give him and to bask in the attention and love. Especially after thinking they were done for, especially after having to face the idea that one of the last conversations he would have had with the most important person in his entire was mostly an argument. The tears came back again and this time they ran down his face freely, soaking the pillow. At least he was facing away and Aziraphale wouldn’t see them.

Then Aziraphale was guiding his cock back inside and Crowley was throwing his head back against his shoulder. If possible, it felt even better than the first time. Crowley wasn’t sure if it was the extra lubrication from Azirapahle’s cum, or the oversensitivity, but he felt like he was floating outside of himself, tethered only by the grounding span of Aziraphale’s hands around his waist and the occasional jap to his sweet spot. Everything felt so good and perfect, like pieces slotting together to become whole again after an eternity apart.

“Love you,” he cried, unable to keep all of his messy emotions from spilling out. Crowley was a mess of tears, and sweat, and pure adoration. “Aziraphale I--oh shit--I love you!”

“Mmm, so sweet for me Crowley. I adore you, I want--” Aziraphale whined when Crowley clenched down at the praise. “I want to--to make you--you’ll look so good, carrying our baby--oh God, Crowley!”

Their previously slow speed began to devolve into something more rapid and desperate as they both reached their peaks. Aziraphale, ever mindful of Crowly’s pleasure trailed a hand down his chest and belly to grind his palm against Crowley’s clit. Not that it was strictly necessary; Crowley was going to come from the wet slide of Aziraphale inside him anyway. He forced his eyes to open and his head to fall back so he could both be as close to the angel as possible, and watch the moment when Aziraphale filled him with his come.

“An-gel,” he gasped, watching the way each thrust made a little come ooze from his swollen cunt. “Angel I--please come with me--Come with me!”

Divine Ecstasy, or something close to it, shot through him in blinding waves as he came. Aziraphale shouted as well, wordlessly clinging to Crowley and once again coming inside him. Crowley was shaking violently, his eyes rolled back and it looked almost violent even though it was exactly the opposite. He was carried away inside his mind and all he could feel was pleasure and love and peaceful, beautiful completion.

When he came back to himself his face was pressed into the pillows and he was making the most embarrassing little noises with each breath. Behind him Aziraphale was mumbling little nonsense phrases peppered with praise. Crowley focused in on that even though his body wanted him to focus on the fullness he could feel down below and the fact that Aziraphale wasn’t pulling out. He must have remembered from a few days ago, when Crowley complained and that send a thrill of confused, loving arousal through him.

“Ngh,” he forced out weakly, just to let Aziraphale know he was conscious and alright, more than alright even. “Az…?”

“M’here, Crowley, I’ve got you.” The demon sagged and flopped a hand down to his stomach over the concave expanse of his hips. Some strange emotions welled up inside him and he found himself crying again. Aziraphale must have heard the sniffles because he turned Crowley around and tucked him underneath his chin. “Shh, dear, it’s alright.”

“I’m OK.” He was, really. Things were just getting away from him a little bit. “M’happy and I love you.”

Crowley felt Aziraphale smile against his temple. “Oh good. I-I,” a pause while the angel took a deep breath, “I thought I was going to lose you again Crowley. First during our fight and then when Heaven and Hell showed up on our doorstep.”

“Me too,” Crowley whispered, tilting his head up. “I thought I fucked everything up and you were going to leave me, and then they showed up and--” Aziraphale quieted him with a kiss, hummingbird quick and soft.

“I know dear, I felt the same. But it’s ok now, and I’m sorry for pushing you before. I think--I believe I understand what you were worried about a little bit better.”

Crowley made a little noise of contentment and settled back down onto Aziraphale’s chest. “S’ok, it all worked out in the end.” He took one of Aziraphale’s hand and held it over his belly. “Besides, you know our kid’s gonna be half-demon right? You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

“They’ll be half-angel too, you know,” Aziraphale laughed, flattening out his hand over Crowley’s non-existent belly. “They’ll be something completely new.”

“Something we made,” Crowley agreed. “Can you believe it? I don’t think I can.”

Aziraphale’s hand wandered down, past Crowley’s stomach to between his legs. It was too sensitive, and just sensitive enough. Crowley whimpered pathetically and clung to his angel’s shoulders, not sure if he should pull away or try to get closer.

“Well my dear, I guess I haven’t done my job well enough then, have I? I’d better work a little harder to get you do believe it.” Limp with overstimulation, Crowley could only moan and take everything Aziraphale give him, which he did gladly.

#fanfic #good omens #gomens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale/crowley #aziraphale #crowziraphale #tw mpreg #pregnancy

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tradingjack · 5 years ago

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Hey so uh I forgot that I hate drawing wings lol

Anyways, this is a headcanon I came up with sometime 2 weeks ago and I’m sure someone else already came up with as well and wrote about before I finished this involved-ass drawing and wrote about it myself but I’m sharing it anyway. Of course it involves Good Omens cause uhh that’s the current hyperfixation my dudes

Basically this is the Archangel, Raphael.

About the headcanon under the cut if you’re interested (prepare for a goddamned novel)

So yeah, this is a drawing of the Archangel Raphael. I’m sure those interested have heard the theory by now that Crowley could have been the Archangel Raphael before the Fall, based on the fact that Raphael is not in Good Omens canon (seemingly replaced by Sandalphon or whatever), Raphael’s symbol is a snake wrapped around a staff, and, for me personally, the fact that Crowley can just??? Stop time????? Like what kind of overpowered Bull Shit

(I’m sure there’s a bunch of other things that support this theory that I just don’t know, please look it up some people really go in depth and it’s awesome)

Also, a brief note on angel rankings. I looked it up, and it didn’t really help because there is a lot of conflicting information out there. In the end, I just kept it at Wikipedia cause fuck it, it is a pretty reliable source in the end. We’re gonna be focusing on the first and third spheres, since the second sphere really doesn’t apply. Basically, the highest order of angels are seraphim, followed by the cherubim and then the thrones. Skip the second sphere, and the lowest three rankings are, in order of most to least rank, principalities (or rulers), archangels, and angels. Now, concerning the difference between archangels and Archangels: apparently the capital letter makes a big ol difference. Archangels with a capital letter are not, in fact, the second lowest ranking but may be interpreted to mean above all other angels, and are the highest ranked angels even among the seraphim. Therefore, the highest angels of the highest are referred to as Archangels with a capital A. (Idk if the Archangels are even really mentioned in the book, I haven’t read it yet, so idk if their titles are capitalized. I’m talking mostly in the context of the Amazon Prime show.)

Quick description of seraphim and therefore Archangels straight from Wikipedia: “fiery six-winged beings; with two wings that cover their faces, with another two that cover their feet, and the last two they use to fly.” (Oh shit I forgot the fire goddamnit I’m such a fuckin idiot oh well it’s too late I wrote this after I finished the drawing)

So, Crowley could be the fallen Archangel Raphael. However, as someone else brought up (and I’ve seen several posts stating this), the name “Aziraphale” is like a bastardization of the phrase “Also Raphael,” meaning Aziraphale could have been the Archangel Raphael but demoted and therefore forced to be renamed. It makes sense that Aziraphale could have been at least of a higher rank than a Principality because he was supposed to be guarding the Gates of Eden, which, in biblical canon, were guarded by higher ranking angels than Principalities (I think they were as high up as cherubim?? idk).

And then I heard, when Neil and Terry were writing the book, both Aziraphale and Crowley were originally just the demon, Crowley. I think it was Terry who made the decision to split that one character into 2 characters instead.

(Also if that isn’t the most soulmate-y shit I’ve ever heard)

But also like... What if that was how it was in canon?

What if........Crowley and Zira............................were both........the Archangel Raphael before the Fall?

Cause like, Raphael (or Israfel, in some religions) literally means “God heals.” Some of the things they’re the patrons are are of “young people,” “guardian angels,” “lovers,” “travelers,” basically everyone in the medical field, and “ordained marriage.” They’re like... everything optimistic and loving and hopeful about humanity. (Nothing about time but like, wtf?? That’s so powerful it’s gotta be the power of the seraphim, it’s at least equal enough to Lucifer’s power that it’s able to give them more time before Lucifer shows up to make a game plan, like it stops Lucifer???? That’s some power to give a lowly-ass demon, that an angel as powerful as a Principality isn’t able to do) It makes you think huh, maybe they care about humanity a lot more than most of the others would. So how would they have fallen?

Well, maybe they got angry at God for testing the humans so damn much. Like Crowley said, a tree right in the middle of the garden that’s super accessible? Literally the only thing the humans aren’t allowed to touch when humans, the most curious and spiteful things in the universe, are more likely to touch something when they’re told not to, when it’s obviously not allowed, and doesn’t appear to present any immediate danger? It’s not very fair.

Another interesting thing; in some canon, Raphael is even considered to be the closest to God, able to talk directly to Her, and possibly even the highest ranking angel of all, even above Michael. So God was likely very close to Raphael in return. (Of course, in the context of the show, it seems that all of the Archangels are very disconnected and are also all on equal footing, it not being entirely clear where Michael, Uriel, and Gabriel stand with each other in terms of ranking even though Michael is usually considered the highest ranked in most biblical canon. One explanation I came up with is that after God banished Raphael, that would be two of the seven archangels that She would have had to banish, her favored, so She could have withdrawn from everything in order to have some alone time, and just became more and more withdrawn as time went on until it was like She’d completely abandoned them.)

And if Raphael started questioning this wrathful god who just kicked out like, half of heaven, including Lucifer, one of her other favorites, I imagine she’d be pretty upset and not willing to hear about complaints right now. But she trusts this angel, so instead of straight kicking Raphael out, she gives them a choice instead. It’s not like they’re trying to straight rebel, anyways.

When Raphael chooses to leave, She doesn’t have a choice then but to cast at least that part of Raphael out, the part that cares too much, who doesn’t want to harm the humans. She says, “crawl under the feet of those you care so much about,” and splits their eyes and casts their staff down into hell cause like, you can’t just have a rogue ethereal being wandering about Earth with the humans, so the newly formed snake which represents all that Raphael chose to leave heaven for is Lucifer’s problem now.

But in splitting Raphael like that, she’s left with this less powerful being who’s still attached to heaven, who still has the gold of an angel but it looks washed out on their head, and who looks up with sky blue eyes and who looks lost as anything. She doesn’t want Raphael gone, so She pretends this one is also Raphael, but She’s still kinda upset so She sends this “Also Raphael” to Earth to guard Eden. Because they’re weakened, She equips them with a limited edition Flaming Sword™ and sends them to guard the Gates of Eden.

Meanwhile, the Raphael that got sent to Hell gets processed (?) and realizes that they’re now a snake. They really don’t like the name “Crawley” in the future so I imagine that when they joined hell, they were given the name “Crawley” based on the fact that they’re now a snake, and none of the residents of Hell wanna go to Earth since the entire reason almost all the demons in hell got kicked out of Heaven is cause they didn’t wanna love humans. “Crawley,” however, got kicked out for caring about humans too much, so the lords in hell decide to send them. So “Crawley” ends up tempting the humans into eating the fruit, making sure it’s on their terms and happens somewhat safely, and watches the humans leave.

And then he meets “Also Raphael,” and, as someone else has pointed out, Crowley has never had to ask for their name. They just know 👀

Crowley, imo, has been the better of the two, consistently throughout the series. Crowley’s never killed, has always questioned why humans have to be tested and hurt and killed, including motherfucking Jesus Christ, hasn’t even lied to Aziraphale, tries to get out of doing their job consistently, jumps on the opportunity to perform miracles alongside their dastardly inconveniences, has been in love with Aziraphale ever since they found out that Zira helped protect the humans by giving the couple Zira’s own protection??? The “god-given Flaming Sword™?” HELLO THIS DEMON IS IN LOVE AND THAT IS ACTUALLY CANON?????? That, and like... while Aziraphale, who’s still a part of heaven’s whole bureaucracy deal, felt the need to contact god through a whole damn ritual, all Crowley did to try and contact God was just look up and talk. I think Crowley knows about the choice and about who they were before the Fall, but doesn’t associate themselves as Raphael anymore, therefore the “I didn’t chose to fall, (BUT) I just sorta sauntered vaguely downwards.”

(Going off of that, I don’t think Crowley knows that Aziraphale is literally their other half; I like to think that Crowley just thinks Aziraphale was the angel chosen by Her as their replacement in heaven, therefore “Also Raphael” meaning another Raphael and not literally part of them that they left in heaven. They don’t know why they knew that Aziraphale was named Aziraphale right off the bat, but it doesn’t really matter to them tbh; before they fell in love, they thought Aziraphale was just another angel, and then after they fell in love it still didn’t matter cause they were in love baby!)

Meanwhile, Aziraphale’s goodness is either out of fear of disobeying heaven or being nice to Crowley. Which, they’re not even that nice to Crowley when it matters tbh. Or humans, most of the time. Like they protected Adam and Eve but wasn’t gonna blink an eye about all those children being drowned until Crowley guilted them about it.

Although they used to be the same angel, I think that, over 6000 years and even then, in the Garden, Crowley and Aziraphale ended up becoming their own person. Aziraphale, even though God cast out the part that cared about humans a little too much and is basically Raphael’s attachment to heaven and God, ended up caring quite a bit on their own, giving the first couple that sword for protection and growing very attached to the things humans created, and abandoned their allegiance to heaven after losing their faith. Crowley, who is the care and defiance and power of the archangel Raphael, ended up a pretty lowly ranked demon and is pretty damn bitter, especially after the death of Jesus of Galilee, and when they do use their power, it’s usually to fuck with humans in some capacity (unless it’s to help himself or Aziraphale :P ).

TL;DR I think that both Crowley and Aziraphale are remnants of the Archangel Raphael after the Fall because Raphael questioned God concerning the testing of the humans and chose to leave heaven. God wasn’t happy and did some shit that ended up with Crowley and Aziraphale being as they are. But both are still their own person.

#good omens #my art #crowley #aziraphale #Archangel raphael #headcanon #dude I went off jesus I'm not doing a wordcount on that shit but goddamn #thanks for reading all of that if you did #I don't blame you if you didn't

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imalivetoflyhigher · 6 years ago

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On Supernatural S14...

So, tonight was the 7th episode of season 14, and I have been meaning to talk about some things that are happening. Some is good, some is bad, but I just feel like expressing a few opinions.

One thing I would like to express right away, is that I thoroughly enjoyed tonight's episode, even though some elements I do not agree with, (which I make very clear below) I think the hospital scene was very cute, and I loved the Dean and Jack moments more than anything. I can say that so far, tonight's episode was definitely my favorite.

Ok so first on my mind, I am trying to act calm about this, but I can assure you I am very not.

N I C K S H O U L D N O T B E A L I V E

When Nick was possessed by Lucifer in season 5, (which umm by the way was 9 years ago) Lucifer put him through so much. As we all know, Lucifer was Lucifer and not exactly... safe with his vessel. In my opinion Nick probably died very soon after being possessed. Even though I just recently finished re-watching the show, I cannot remember every detail of what went down with Lucifer’s vessel, but I do know that there is no way Nick could have remained intact throughout the years. Not to mention how Crowley literally had to rebuild Lucifer’s vessel when it was completely torn apart, AND he had the binding spell cast into the bones which personally I don’t believe anyone could live through even IF Nick was somehow still alive after everything else that happened.

The only tiny explanation the show has given so far for Nick being alive is that “oh well the archangel blade only kills the angel, not the person” but as I’ve explained, there is no realistic was Nick was alive after all that time. His soul would have already been in Heaven/Hell for several years.

He just simply should not be alive. The reason the writers brought him back I will never understand. At this point they have completely worn out the whole “Lucifer” plot-line and everything that has to do with it.

This whole Nick thing a majority of why I haven't quite enjoyed this season a whole lot yet, with the ending of tonight’s episode, comes a whole package of conspiracy theories as to if Lucifer is somehow being summoned back to life again by Nick. I really really do not want Lucifer to come back, its getting redundant at this point, and it just ties to the point in which so many bad things are obviously coming because of Nick. The writers could have easily made other villains and “bad guys” out of something else, but yet it is all stemming from a character that has zero reason to exist. From the episode tonight it has made it obvious that the whole Nick wanting to find out who killed his family story-line was made just to introduce this big bad demon (or so we can only assume) that is going to be coming in the episodes to come. Idk if I am being over dramatic, but I am not here for this Nick story-line, not since the idea was introduced, not now, not ever.

Anyways

The whole Nick thing is my main critique of the season, but there are some smaller details.

I’m still not completely comfortable with the whole idea of au bobby and charlie just being normal side characters now, like.... they’re not the bobby and charlie we love and it all just feels off to me.

Another thing, Jack is obviously still the MOST precious thing ever to be created and does not deserve all that is being thrown at him. Like fine, I understand he lost his grace so he is dying, but it makes me mad. There is already so many struggles in this season so why does Jack dying have to be such a huge deal right now, can’t they focus on that later? When other shit is actually in control?? I do not believe they would kill Jack off realistically, but hey we never know. If they do, however, I will protest.

OH AND BTW WHEN CAS REFERS TO JACK AS THE THREE OF THEM”S SON I COULD NOT HANDLE THAT OH MY GOODNESS

back to regular programming

In the episode tonight, for the first time in a few episodes, we see a brief moment of a possible occurrence of Michael. We can assume this because when the archangel grace is being talked about is when dean’s vision first begins to turn all fuzzy, and happens again later in the episode when there is a slight underlying hint of a presence of Michael. And this is yet just another issue that season 14 needs to figure out by the end of the season. I feel like this season is being packed very tightly, with not all necessary things. I am just hoping the writers figure out how to work everything out that ties things together and doesn’t leave a bunch of loose ends like what is being done so far.

As I explained in the beginning, this episode is a personal favorite so far because of the heartwarming moments, but many of the last few episodes I have definitely not likes as well. The last episode: “optimism”... I did not personally enjoy. While new lore is good and I do approve of, why did it have to be so weird? I know this show gets weird, but the fly people was just a bit too much, at least for me. It’s not like I’m saying this season is bad, its just different and I am not used to it yet. I am just waiting for loose ends to be tied up, and for ends to meet.

All in all, with the power struggle in both Heaven and Hell, Jack dying, Nick murdering people, a possible new big bad demon, and Michael, I just honestly hope season 14 is able to get itself under control as a whole.

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magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics · 7 years ago

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Better Man - Request

Requested by anon: Hi could you maybe do dean x reader based on the song better man from little big town, if you know the song.

Pairing: Dean x Reader.

Word count: 2.089

Warnings: Angsty-ish, un-beta’d (idk how to spell that...)

A/N: It’s been a LOOOOONG time since the last time I watched Supernatural (like a almost a year) so I’m rusty. Also, I used a similar format to my fic Beneath the Surface (Sherlock). This is quite abrupt, but that’s just how I see these things so... Yeah.

Now, still going on with the Abusive Relationship issues: Physical violence isn’t the only kind of violence, even using degrading words, or harmful comments is a type of violence. Be brave, run from them.

Speak up, be loud and make yourself heard. You are not alone.

Enjoy!

To Dean, the lonely bunker felt like paradise after being stuck in the middle of nowhere during the hottest day of the year. His precious car had overheated, and no matter how much he tried to fix it quickly, he still got sunburnt. He couldn’t ask for help, his phone had died and Sam was out of town.

Then, he went to the store, which had been his destiny from the beginning, only to find that beer was sold out. He tried in five other stores, only to find the same result and, when he left the fifth store, he found his Impala covered in eggs and remains from water balloons, which only made the mess bigger.

By the time he got to the bunker, he was done with life.

He was about to open the door when bird poop fell from the nearest tree. Dean was so mad by then that he didn’t hesitate in shooting the guilty pigeon, which fell over his car, adding feathers and blood to the already scrambled windshield.

The poor man wasn’t even impressed, it clearly wasn’t his day.

He got inside the bunker, and walked straight to the laundry room to leave his shirt on the washer. The heat was such that the rest of his clothes were covered in sweat, and thus he decided to wash his whole outfit.

Sam wasn't’t there, so it didn’t matter if he was naked or not. So, he walked to the kitchen, praying that there would be at least one can of beer - but there were only three bottles of a green water Sam enjoyed drinking.

“For fuck’s sake!” Dean roared and punched the fridge, knowing Sam would be extra angry when he saw the damage his brother was causing to the appliance.

Dean took an ice cube, as a desperate attempt to lower down his temperature, and then walked to his room. He started to charge his phone and then checked the others to see if he had any message.

One of them did.

Letting the ice drop on his bed sheets - something he would regret later that night - he played the message. His hopes were high, that phone was old and only certain people had the number to it.

“Hey dude, it’s Sam,” his younger brother spoke, “I forgot to tell you, I went to the post office before leaving town. There’s something you may wanna read, I left it under your bed, it’s a cardbox. Take it easy when you read it, we don’t have enough money to buy another fridge.”

“Is that your brother?” A female voice spoke from the distance. Dean smirked, thinking the worst.

“Yes,” Sam answered, “Anyway, I’ll be back soon. Have a nice birthday, Jerk.”

“Bitch…” Dean whispered and left the phone aside.

He knelt next to the bed and dragged out a tiny card box. It only had a sticker with the address to which it would be sent, and nothing else. No names, no details, no nothing.

Dean shook it softly, but could only hear inanimate, innocent object being shaken. He then placed it on the floor and opened it carefully, in case it was something dangerous.

The first thing he saw was a picture of him giving a girl a piggyback ride. He must’ve been on his twenties, and he was glowing; his hair was shorter and lighter, his skin was perfect without wrinkles or sun-stains, and his smile was huge.

He recognized the girl from the picture. She was the only one, his one and only love, but she was also the one to rip his heart apart. Nothing had been more painful than her departure, and it still hurt him.

“Yeah, happy birthday to me.”

He kicked the box under the bed and walked to the shower. He was trying to wash of her memory, but it felt impossible. She was still out there, and she had kept that picture for almost twenty years…

Dean remained in the shower until he ran out of hot water which, until then, had seemed to be something impossible to achieve.

He left the shower and walked back to his bed. The ice from before had melted completely, leaving a big puddle in the middle of the bed. Dean ignored it and took his phone; he had thirteen missed phone calls from Castiel and only one voice mail.

“Dean,” the angel said, “I tried to visit you but you were washing. Happy anniversary on Earth…”

“Try again,” Crowley spoke, mocking Castiel.

“Happy anniversary of birth,” Castiel repeated, “Let’s get wasted, pal.”

“That’ll do,” The demon said and then Dean could hear the two of them fighting over the phone. “Happy birthday, squirrel,” And then complete silence.

He tried to drag his mind out of his loneliness, playing music out loud, eating everything on the refrigerator, and, why not, destroying a whole room on his own. But nothing could take his mind away from the real issue.

Dean gave up.

He dragged his feet all the way back to his bedroom and took out the box once again. He held the picture to his eye level and, because of the lamp on his room, he noticed there was something scribbled behind it.

In red ink was an inscription that read: “Summer with the love of my life” next to a drawn heart. He recognized her hand-writing.

“Yeah, right,” Dean muttered to himself and put the picture away.

There were other objects, like the ticket from a contest they never won, or the deflated balloon that Dean had gifted her on their first date. There were a couple folded napkins that had doodles on them in two different inks - something they would do when they waiters took too long - and some other pictures of the two together. Dean remembered each day perfectly, they felt like yesterday to him.

He was starting to get sensible, in a good way, thinking that maybe she remembered him and missed him as much as he did, imagining that was her way of asking him to get back to her, but his heart broke again.

There was a ring inside the box, under all of the pictures and tiny objects, an engagement ring.

Dean had gifted her that ring the same day she left, promising her to become a better man and a life full of love, adventures and dreams. He never knew why she left after that, but by the time he woke up, she was gone.

He held the ring once again, remembering how much time it took him to pick out the right ring for her and his nerves when asking her to marry him. He remembered the strange look on her face, and how numb her voice was when she said yes.

There was a white envelope at the very bottom of the cardbox. His name was written there with a more mature handwriting; a handwriting that, no matter how mature, was still hers.

He kept the ring next to him and took the letter out. The letter inside had a yellowish sheet of paper, and her old handwriting. It was short and Dean could see dry tears over the paper. It smelled like her perfume mixed with dust. She had kept that letter for a long time.

That’s when Dean checked the date: January 24th, 2003.

The memories came back to him like a tsunami wave. That was his 25th birthday, but also the day he asked her to marry him.

Dean had to take a few minutes to calm himself before reading the letter.

“My beautiful lover, Dean:

I hope you don’t hate me for what I am about to do, it really is the only way out for me.

It’s 4 am, and I’m in front of a mirror, convincing myself that this is for the better. I can see your reflection behind me, you passed out from being so drunk and tired… You were celebrating but not me.

I know I said I would marry you, but I can’t. I know now that I am better off on my own, than having a man who doesn’t know what he has. Because, truth is, you don’t know what you have.

I love you, most ardently, but I can’t unsee the damage you did to me. Trust me, it’s been hard to try and forget when it was magic, but I believe I’m finally achieving it.”

Dean then noticed there was a whiter sheet behind that first one. It was more recent, and it smelled of a different perfume and didn’t have as many tears as the other one. This one was longer.

“January 24th, 2018.

Dean,

I came across this box as I cleaned my attic. I remembered I didn’t ever explained to you why I left, and that’s because I wasn’t brave enough to leave that letter you probably just read. I am brave now, and I would understand if you decide not to read this ever… or if you changed your post address. I have to say this, so I can finally close this cycle.

I had to do it, Dean. You kept treating me like I was less than nothing, you always said that the only worthy thing of me was my beauty, but what would happen when I was no longer beautiful? And what about those times you called me a coward? I would think I was being brave by staying with you, supporting you in spite of your abuse, but now I know that I wasn’t being brave. No, now I know the bravest thing I ever did was run.

I miss you, I really do. I confess that, sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again. I can feel your weight next to me, and smell the liquor and the leather that always made you who you are. I can still feel you breathing next to me, and I can almost see your face against the pillow.

I know I’m better off without you, better all alone than needing a man who changed his mind at any given minute. You were so full of yourself, and I had to stand it because I was your partner, and I thought that was how a good ride-or-die girlfriend worked.

Every choice, every plan, every move we made was always on your terms. You took away my freedom to choose. And I was there, hanging on every single careless word you’d say, hoping it would turn sweet again like they used to be in the beginning… But they never did.

I can hear your jealousy once again… Worst thing was you never expressed it against whoever was making you jealous. No, it was always against me. You would always talk me down, confident that I would always be around no matter what.

I did try to fix it, to get you back to who you used to be, but you always pushed me away. I wasn’t one of your loaded guns, Dean, and I certainly wasn’t trying to harm you. I guess you never thought I’d run.

You may be wondering why I held onto all of these memories. Well, I always felt the need to have you close somehow, to have proof that we ever existed, I had to hold onto this because it was all I had. I even doubted that I did the right thing by running away, but now I know why I had to say goodbye, and I��m finally free.

I gave you everything I had, I gave you my best. You can’t deny that, you really can’t. And honestly, I still wonder what we would’ve become if you were a better man.

We might still be in love, you would’ve been the one… I would’ve married you. But you had to be a better man, and you’re not.

Sadly for you, I still know you. I only wish you were a better man, but that is it.

I just miss you, and that is it.

I hope you have a good birthday, and I hope I didn’t ruin it with this letter. My gift to you is the goodbye I never gave you, the goodbye you deserved...

Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean breathed out loudly as a tear slipped down his face. That was it, the one thing he wanted ever since she ran away, and he didn’t feel complete yet.

And so he realised he would never feel complete ever again, not without her.

~ Unnecessary Extended Ending ~ Word Count: 467

It took him a lot of time to finally locate her, but when he did he didn’t hesitate in driving straight to her instead of searching more about her life.

The house was beautiful, with a white picket fence and bushes with flowers. The windows had fancy-looking curtains and the air smelled of home-made food.

Dean could see her from the outside. She looked gorgeous, in spite of the tiny wrinkles around her eyes and her messy hair - which was tied in a bun. She had a red apron over the beige sweater, and was right by the stove, stirring whatever was on the pan.

He approached the door and knocked. (Y/N) sighed and opened, thinking it was someone else.

The look on her face when she saw him could not be described with words.

Dean smiled at her tenderly, and before she could ask why he had suddenly appeared, Dean snapped his lips against hers. She slapped him, pushing him away as fast as possible.

There he realised, the look on her face was nothing else but utter regret for having sent that letter.

“Mommy, what’s going on?” A tiny voice broke the silence. (Y/N) turned around and Dean caught a glimpse of a tiny kid, that looked nothing like him, running towards her.

“Nothing, it’s just a seller. Go back to daddy,” (Y/N) calmed the kid with a sweet voice and then turned back to him again, giving a step out so she could close the door behind her.

“That’s your…?” Dean whispered and she nodded. “But the letter… And the pictures… You kept all those things for twenty years and…”

“I wrote the last letter ten years ago, when I met my husband… I didn’t send it because I figured you’d come back, so I left it in the attic and forgot about it,” She explained.

“But you did send it this time,” Dean insisted.

“I was clearing up some space for a new room,” She muttered, looking down to her belly. “I realised how… Unfair it had been to leave without saying goodbye and I sent it, but I guess it was a mistake.”

“I’m a better man now, (Y/N), give me another chance,” Dean sniffed, holding back the tears.

“I’m sorry, I moved on and you should too.”

Dean left, without saying anything else. He only took one last glimpse of her, regretting everything he had done for he knew that she could be his, that the life she lived could’ve been theirs.

The roar of the Impala was the last thing she heard of him. His future was uncertain, as always, and so she decided to consider him dead ever since. After all, he didn’t even know if he’d survive the night, and that was his life.

Masterlist.

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Forever Tags: @dekahg @myfriendmagislit @thecrazyhatwoman @pureawesomeness001 @bingewatchingmylifegoby @cutie1365

SPN Tags: @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @roseyhxnt @thisisjessicatalking @hotwinchester @pizzarollpatrol @colorfuluniversewhispers @destiel5100 @bones-can-only-fly @frayedphan @shadyladyperfection @baconlover001

Dean Tags: @coffeebreakandwinchesters @procrastinating-my-life-away @rdy4thevoid @baconlover001 @wonderwinchester @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

Text

13x02 watching notes

i'm on a train. choo choo.

expectations: helpfully wrote them out last time for the season as a whole which this ep is introducing all the plot stuff for since last episode advanced the plot a single day of angst, but this episode especially has a few SUPER low bars to pass. Last time out BL failed spectacularly to not kill Eileen. now we have "don't assault mary, over-sexualise the day old guy, or flub introing the new characters, or reintroducing the returning ones"

our train was like 10 minutes late out the station because there was no driver. is this a metaphor.

i also had to eat krispy kreme doughnuts before I could dig into the episode.

oh jeeze Drexel survived season 12... no one really has a fanclub for the random minions, probably because around Simmons we realised there was no point getting attached. and he was in some of the worst scenes of last season just because of the context. which is a shame. also he's a lucifer fan and that's not really a worthwhile position. anyway hope springs eternal that colonel sanders is such a charismatic character he makes the demon scenes worth watching... and Drexel gets to be interesting. And stop saying lines like 'make hell great again' which is so not a good thing to put in his mouth - at least the other demons who were going around saying it it was the white demon who said it and got the stink eye from the other demon.

One of the other demons says "can you even hear yourself" but idk if BL would crit their own writing unlike competent writers whose first port of call is stressing that they are bad writers and mock their corny dialogue

this also raises the semi perpetual question since season 11 that if Crowley's throne room is here why would any of the pretenders to the throne even want it. they seriously need to justify it. We know devil's gates are a pain and not usually open so smuggling minions out to work topside is an issue but there are other workarounds than establishing a campy hell set that's not even in hell, then getting confused about if it's hell or not, and never really explaining why Lucifer would stick around in it except for the fact Crowley is really good at setting up a system and it would be a shame not to use the pre-established set up.

but eh

I really sincerely hope Asmodeus is just here because Crowley's ex-minions are here and will relocate post-haste to his plantation.

He hung up his coat. Drexel survived though. I guess being a named character has its perks. the sun shone in my eyes the entire time so i was quite amused when the train turned a bit and i saw demons dropping with burned out eyes, angel-style. like Dagon being super duper powerful, I guess they're giving him extra powers - because this is just a few steps up from how Sam was exploding demons with his head at one point and he got his powers from a YED... though in 5x10 when Lucifer killed all those demons he also didn't burn the eyes out. it's probs a stylistic choice. in character and out.

Nougat!!! he's so cute. he's sleeping at an angle to be behind Sam in the convo. The camera points at Sam from the dash and at Dean from Sam's POV, and Jack is in his background. methinks this is about Sam.

He's trying to make Dean sleep and calling out how he hasn't had any, which is nice because I was worried about that earlier.

Dean is calling Jack "it" which I think was in some people's pre-season fic, or else if it weren't it was in the one i didn't write :P Blatant convo is blatant but does at least have an actual honest to god lead into the next scene via the mom is dead conversation. Again we get the super zoom close up on sam being sad and questioning dean's thoughts. assert yourself, sammy! i believe in u

(totally on your side too Dean but the sun is too bright to examine your micro expressions and the camera isn't favouring you anywho so you're a rewatch flavour today)

Satan wants to trade Mary for Jack. Well if Dean knew he'd sell Jack for a corn chip anyway (is that Crowley's phrase from the original weird dog episode?) so that's just a great big victory. methinks the choice will fall on Sam or fall on Dean after he's had a chance to bond with Jack some more - that's the other side to the tension about Dean liking jack that i was talking about earlier whensomeone asked me why everyone wants dean to adopt jack.

ideally mary saves herself or it never comes to it but for now i'll assume whatever else happens between here and there, some version of this plan will at least be floated, even if it's random circumstances and not lucifer's hand any more or something

makes sense anyway to tie mary back into the main arc in a way like how she mirrored cas the entire time last season - if her fate and jack's are connected even tenuously it gives her a connect back into the main thing

oh good the woman next to me has finished her dangerously over-full cup of Pimms because I was terrified it would be bye bye laptop

nnnoooo as I type she refilled it

the train is swaying back and forth so much

anyway Mary asks Lucifer why he wants to be a parent and he hints several times in a row that he has hidden depths without actually showing any of them. i don't want him to have a redemption anyway and i really super duper don't want him to have one written entirely by BL

Colonel Sanders continues to try and liven up the story while giving us surface level exposition

I'll be honest, 'write that down' is the first good line... must be whichever of BL is quippy currently writing. I think they just introduced a monster taht lucifer is scared of but I couldn't catch what it was and for some reason another demon is listening in so is he getting ideas? I mean why to what end? also what exactly was the thing that was locked up because it sounded like a cut price Leviathan expo dump but obvs not that because a leviathan would eat Lucifer

i mean i don't think we pay enough attention to the fact that dick roman would just gobble lucifer up and end of story. bring back dick.

*Pimms lady sways dangerously close to my laptop*

I think Sam accused Dean of hallucinating "shit" on the road because it's too noisy to hear him say "sheep". I just assume that is what he actually said in the non-censored version

pls drink your Pimms fast enough to end this danger but not so fast you're sloshed and throw it on my laptop before it's all gone

Cashing in on that new Scooby Doo partnership! Some bank like Halifax is currently using Scooby Doo to sell stuff so I see that dog on telly all the time and the fact they exist in the same fictional universe as Sam and Dean is kiiiilling me. I think we have all been assuming Jack takes us to Scooby World so plonking him in front of the telly to watch some is how it all begins. Dean, like every fan fic between 13x01 and now hates Jack unreservedly for having childlike enthusiasm about the telly because Cas used to do that, while (semi)unaware that Jack is mirroring HIMSELF from 12x11 most closely right now. I think that's an interesting parallel I don't know how much work has gone into but pls poke me to write about Jack's 1 day old child-like wonder compared to sweetie pie no memory Dean if no one else has done it because they're essentially the same character from completely different angles, and we're about to hit Jack mirroring Dean excessively.

Me: don't excessively sexualise the kid

BL: "here read a book" *chucks the Bible at him* *he opens it to the Song of Solomon* We're NOT having this chat right now.

I suppose some people just meta-gasmed all over this. I don't know much about the Bible but I do know that's the sexy bit.

the "I can take the couch" conversation probably put the exact same thought process in Jack's head as mine when my very lanky brother looked at the lil brick hard bed set up in the corner of our hotel while we were stranded in Glasgow, and looked at me, princess and the pea-syndrome sufferer, and nobly offered to take a bed that *my* feet stuck 3 inches over.

No.

Thanks but no.

aw man we're only at Carlisle.

It's the promo scene as well, which mostly just drove home how much Jack is mirroring Dean... We've had basically no character interaction in the missing day, although we can assume it's mostly gone like this... Dean annoyed, Sam forgiving Jack for being adorable, and Jack being adorable. He's getting better at sarcasm as well, which can't be making Dean feel any better about him.

And that means that the "Castiel is my father" revelation happened off-screen and we're not being given any room for a reaction about it, which is the most annoying part of this. I knew 13x01 was an anomaly and going into a BL ep so soon after would deprive us of some of the emotional depth, but it's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on us :P

I think Dean's 'sometimes' about family being good is going to be a criminally underrated line and I don't even know if I can bring myself to remember it all the time in discussions about how Dean feels about family going forwards but this is a note that i heard him say it and acknowledged it means he has some issues with blood family ongoing.

Jack being adorably human blah blah, Dean aggravates the issue by being really mean about insisting Lucifer is his father and asking if he reached out to Jack and now Jack's remembering him doing that. Hey leave the kid alone, Dean, his blank slate was slightly messed up by waning to be like Cas which is obviously an excellent exemption to having a blank slate.

Maybe there's a metaphor in him agitating the bad father sitation over here.

I don't know if Jack should have asked for clarification there so let's pretend there was a hesitation and a "Ca -" "*Lucifer.* Your father." exchange. Or something.

And now Nougat is lying about emotional strife, like's been agitated into being a Winchester from his great blank slate

GAH Stop gesturing by the STILL FULL glass of Pimms

they keep topping it up and it's not good for my stress levels

I think I just missed basically everything that happened because all I could see was my own reflection but then they were like *rising tension music* *scuffle* *donatello* so I assume he jumped out on them. Mental note to go back and see who was defensive of Jack and what he did.

*casually mopping up my neighbour's Pimms as it splashes dangerously close to my laptop while listening to Donatello's exposition*

the good thing about BL episodes is that you can often just kinda chill and listen to the exposition if it's just a chunk o dialogue and nothing offensive is going on so we're making progress through the ep

*dean is super bitter about who does and doesn't have a direct line to god for some reason*

Awww Sam says they're brothers and it's a family crest when he is saying Jack should get the tattoo <3

*completely* robbed of Dean's reaction

WHY DID THEY NOT TELL JACK IT WOULD HURT

I went to the loo and came back to them wiping Pimms off their phone

Well Jack just completely put Dean in his place RE: pain, when he told him to man up about it and Jack was like right we accept pain as a sign of maturity... this is absolutely not what Dean meant but it is probably a healthier approach to it minus all the toxic masculinity

can we get to 13x03 and an ep written by Berens soon :P

Jack accidentally absorbs his warding. Oops. I guess that angel warding was a WEE bit OTT I mean I'm no expert but that looks like a total pain to be dealing with all the time for the makeup department :P

Also must have taken friggin ages

I still don't get why Donnatello is here except to use as a chip in their arguments... Ah well. Dean arguing intent doesn't matter freaky powers are freaky powers because he's still pissed about what happened to Cas and can't see the much more basic thing that Jack didn't mean to get Cas killed and OBVIOUSLY didn't intend it if he was waiting for Cas to be there for him when he popped out of the womb. I think for all the random avenues this took in fandom this is probably about as deep as the show will go if this is how BL are spelling it all out for us... And the answer is all there on the page already but we're just using Dean as the alternate side of the argument to show his own character stuff going on where he can't deal with Jack because he's upset about Cas. And he was always more concerned about Cas than the philosophy of whatever else was going on

Train going through the Lake District... I am enchanted. It's a grey day w/ very low clouds and water on the ground and all the trees are autumnal. Sue me, this is more interesting than Donatello being unhelpful. He backed up Sam's argument earlier w/ saying Lucifer felt toxic and Jack is somewhat more like his grandfather, but then once he starts talking he's like hurr blurr as a scientist nature wins and he's a monster and then Sam's like I thought you were on my side dude and then Dean angsts about Cas some more and calls Jack the devil and he decides he better start teleporting now because leave me alone not-dad and get off my case

I hope we see his wings. Dean asks in 13x01 if he had wings and equated it to teleporting and I suppose we don't know how demons do it but the assumption is if he's half-angel adn can teleport then he has wings

Oh no it is KILLING me how Jack's thing is sitting cross legged. PROTECT HIM.

Sam finds him, thankfully, after the Sad Kelly Montage. There's a very Northern man behind me talking loudly on the phone so I'm gonna concentrate SUPER HARD now

The hotel is called the Black Hat which I think is western coding for the bad guy. There was a house in the prairie art on the wall, and the single isolated house is how Jack came into the world... He's dealing with towns now.

Exposition Mooose! Telling us Dean gets some wires crossed about getting angry whe nhe's frustrated and scared like yes good expose dean for us some more... explaining him to jack is like hey so um he's an acquired taste... trying to make this about protecting everyone instead of pointing out the obvious that he blames jack for what happened to cas

Jack is a winchester because he's like maybe i'm not worth it

help

and them Sam brings up w/o knowing it was on jack's mind that kelly thought so but also is a blatant link to how they used dead!mary to guide their lives right up until she came back...

... and then so would Cas and so would I. Sam aligning himself with Jack's parents to show he has emotional guardianship of him right now

has dean gone down to the bar because it's called th eblack spur and obvs not the same one but i'm like 100% sure that's the bar from 10x01 where he was hanging with Crowley and I'm not gonna fact check that. it's "black" again aka more nature stuff, more coded evil stuff I guess? I don't know anything about Westerns I admit

And hey look a blonde bartender is chatting to him - there's a Jack ale sign on one side... and hahahahahaaaa no there's a Kingdom Beer sign behind Dean over his shoulder because the director wants to kill me

So far this is the weirdest BL episode Ive seen in a long time because they're trying so so hard to be all nuanced and deep and to explore character stuff and carry on the mood from the first episode, while being direly under-equipped to handle it, so everyone's just blurting exposition all over the place in a series of awkward exchanges. The overtness of the dialogue is actually helping in a weird way to rush through the tick boxes because Dean just admitted to seeking his neglectful father's approval from a standing start which is a sign of progress for him to just leap right into admitting his issues with John. I don't have a frame of reference for this because tired and white noise and noting we're pulling into Lancaster and it looks like rain now and there's a guy travelling with an enormous silver mirror with an ornate frame as tall as he is on the other platform and more pimms is on the table... but yeah when DID he last talk about John? Is this the increased openness since 12x22 we were hoping for? Is my backpack okay because it's in a luggage rack I can't see and if someone nicks it they're only stealing all my laundry but I like some of those t-shirts so it would be a bummer...

Lol surprise Asmodeus, no wonder she pushed all the father stuff... Was he talking about Lucifer then? It's everyone has father issues season. He's fitting in as another mirror in it all. Like the great big shiny mirror the dude at Lancaster station had. I'd honestly not be surprised if John came back in some way just cuz we had the Mary season where motherhood was a theme, and now we're doing this. I don't think John would come back for good liek Mary but they could scrounge up a more direct way of confronting his memory at least.

This also is so unsubtle bcos Dean had no idea what the bartender looked like so he coulda just tended the bar and chatted to Dean b4 he knew who Asmodues was, and we could have had some cool tension like we all know that Colonel Sanders is the bad guy and Dean's just chatting him up a bit. But then when do we ever get such things in a BL ep?

Sam just goes and spells it out about Jack being molded and the ambiguity of his father figures aka the dual nature battle they think Jack should have, with a deciding vote already thrown in there by Kelly and of course that Jack has free will and choice

So Mary just nearly got assaulted, tho not by Lucifer, which was not exactly a pleasant surprise. >.> idk what that guy's problem was but he seems to be implying women can't fight and something something I didn't catch but clearly he doesn't see a whole bunch of women. This is literally the antithesis of the show's handling of female hunters since the start so I'm going to have to assume that this is an AU thing like, total worst timeline, and everyone's sexist to boot. Not really a fan of doing this at all because why are humans made out to be just as bad as meeting angels and demons in this world - Mary being at risk from ALL of them (where is BOBBY I wanna see wtf was going on between him and AU mary and our mary and our bobby) - and it being disappointing that Mary's at risk BECAUSE she's female and might get assaulted.

Lucifer continues to try and act like a good guy by saving Mary and then of course the Nice Guy twist that always comes - if you won't give me what I want that I'm pretending is mutually beneficial then I will just hurt you.

They're chilling by that church from 8x23 now so I guess Mikey will be along soon.

Preston Station looks like a hellscape as well - it's packed and there's no ticket barriers. I'm so glad we were only passing through

Dean comes in and sits down with Sam with the shadows of the blinds falling over them - prison imagery I missed you! We're trapped in these mindsets...

Sam wants to get them on the same page and Dean is like F U and Sam's like lemme do exposition while you sit with the shadow over your eyes.

I wish there was a shadow falling over my eyes... We've passed back through to hazy sunlight south of Preston.

Sam says people who we love, and who have been in our lives for a long time, in such a way I bet some asshole is excluding Cas from one category bcos Mary doesn't count in the long time category so maybe one is for her and one is for Cas

obviously that's the real donatello because he only cares about breakfast and is an object of ridicule while Asmodeus was presumably the other and actually talking plot.

this is an idiot ball moment tbh because Jack hasn't been in any hotel scenes for a while and somehow we've shuffled through all the characters here and not had any of them with Jack or checking where he is despite him being the most precious cargo, and it was bugging me earlier that dontatello and sam talking meant jack was alone because he wouldn't be w/ dean so where was he but Sam didn't ask? they just chatted? And obvs that was asmodeus but yeah... no one's keeping an eye on him and D. wasn't even supposed to be taking Jack to get breakfast or what? If that wasn't him then what exactly did Sam think Jack was up to?

Also Sam tanking the mytharc Dean tanking the personal arc - he talks to both of them w/o them knowing and guess what each's conversation is

And also Dean came in with food as well like there's major miscommunication going on here if the real donatello was getting breakfst and so was Dean but is that the point or is that just a plothole where this doesn't add up properly if you actually try and map who knew what and - was Dean the one SUPPOSED to be watching Jack? But Sam didn't ask him either.

Anyway here's the demon that Dean's entire fight scene is about straddling to death.

I also loved his march down to the room where he was all in shadows

The last shot of that fight though where Dean's cowering away from the demon on a bed while it advances on him with a knife

like wow that was a good fight scene for the dynamics going on there. Dean as a victim being absolutely dominated by that demon and all the associated knife and weirdass positions imagery. Dean on that table with his legs around the demon is like an entire meta on its own as well

okay it was too bright when I saw the scene where Asmodeus was talking about that whatever it was he let out but I THINK that was the same demon I thought I saw overhearing it and now I am wondering what on earth that was about because Dean just killed him :P

Awww Jack out in nature. I love the flowers and the buzz of insects and life all around him. And Asmodeus is testing him.

Okay it's been like one episode how can he have character inconsistency with himself from earlier in the episode - he now wants to unleash the things he got in trouble for unleashing before? I mean unless he's decided that Lucifer really isn't coming back so might as well just throw a party while there's no adult supervision, and get back to all that chaos and destruction he loves. If he thought there was remotely a chance Lucifer would come back he wouldn't do it, but then is he just doing it now out of spite that Lucifer told him no before, and instead of whatever nonsense he said about family dynamics back then is not really true at all because he wants to rebel now instead.

If Jack unleashes the thing because he was tricked then it will be the biggest Sam and Cas mirror thing ever and will set him up with some angst and guilt for the rest of the season.

One of the downsides of Dean not getting along with him is that Jack doesn't know how much scepticism about God is a healthy amount in this universe. He basically just knows that God is his grandfather and family is usually good. But God is suuuch a bad concept to rally behind here, it's not even like God wouldn't ask him to do it because God never tells anyone what to do about anything (which is like the first thing Dean would have told Jack if he hadn't still been sulking God wouldn't lift a finger to help him over the whole dead Cas issue), God would also just never have any positive reinforcement for anyone or get excited about having a grandson, at least in a way to get actively involved :P

I mean Chuck probs thought that Donatello making his way to Jack was about as useful as he could be and that immediately went sour when no one kept 2 pairs of eyes on each other at all times.

Wyoming has some pretty nasty stuff under it :P

I wonder if Hell maps exactly to earth but just kinda deeper.

Also point to me for rambling about hell gates earlier and then Asmodeus actually listening to my suggestion box for once. Maybe he will be the one character who can actually hear me in this show.

Hey you, you're an asshole

Is Lucifer aware he literally just lead them in a circle because I am so not telling him that, because it's too funny.

I hope Jack didn't inherit his sense of direction but this is Dabb era, as soon as that kid gets a car, trouble starts.

The midlands are so bleak.

These angels are wearing heavy tactical gear and yet more kneepads. The human had them too. This is just kneepad world. I don't see the necklaces of baby ears so maybe that design thing got ditched or maybe Bobby was being metaphorical. The important thing is they don't look like Cas. The weird thing is we know Mikey's costume sort of does look like a ragged Cas.

Anyway Lucifer is so offended to hear Michael killed him even though it was literally the most obvious thing ever the entire time we've known about them and since 12x12 we've had extra info to prove it :P

Omg why are you opening champagne on a traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

MIKEY

He wanders in like hey I'm awesome but also I need to immediately open with super obvious exposition lines

Lucifer accuses him of being dressed like he came from a western too which goes with the thematics back in the Earth part of the story and also makes me think maybe the costuming choice was supposed to kinda mirror Frontierland Dean's 2nd costume because why the fuck not this is Dabb era, rules are for suckers :P

I can't see it w/o the hat but maybe he has a hat elsewhere.

this hole down into the centre of the earth looks REMARKABLY like the one the 2nd season of Shadowhunters had in the season finale, so I need Magnus to just wander over the rise and close it now. Also his eyes glow gold and cat like. Is his power literally equivalent to Jack's? He's like ridiculously OP in that show. I guess all that hiatus watching was research.

Ah, Asmodeus has learned the "Oh shit it's the Winchesters" moment already, especially recognising the car. Them driving right onto the scene has the oddest shades of 5x22 without anything being remotely like it except it's a field, hole in the earth, and car.

Okay why did Donatello yell "that's not Donatello"

this is like the reverse of the best version of this scene I've ever heard which is the one from the end of Here Be Gerblins in the Adventure Zone which I will not spoil for you except to say this is the worst and also it doesn't take too much listening to get to that point and I nearly cried laughing so you should probably go listen. More hiatus watching research!

The other option is D is having a total crisis of self w/o a soul or the evil D is actually the real thing and Asmodeus is helping them for some reason.

LOL he's like hi I'm Crowley's replacement so the line now is "howdy boys" intead of hello boys

As soon as Jack knows what's up and sees his new peeps getting hurt he stops because he is precious and he did nothing wrong and I love him

AWW HE THINKS THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS I LOVE YOU NOUGAT

Deal with that, Dean.

Mary like "... should I be shuffling backwards?" "I SHOULD BE SHUFFLING BACKWARDS, BYE"

Lucifer said he needed Mary, Mikey says he needs Lucifer... I think that phrase is being turned over and ruined now. The necessary step of Dean having said it to Cas that one time when he shoulda said I love you... They had a brief critique of "need and want" and some stuff about i and we, which was what last season was doing, but Cas feels bad bcos he feels needed but not wanted, and this is as much as Dean has said to him - from the depths of his heart - but it's not enough because that was season 8 and he hasn't felt like he belongs and he needs that I love you. Uh but w/o using "need" - look, they're gesticulating with champagne again, I have 1 eye on this at best as we roll through the midlands for an eternity :P Anyway I guess it is time to put "need" in the firing line as the Wrong Word that means that you're USING someone.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? DEAN DOES NOT SIT AT THE TABLE LIKE THAT. OH MY POOR, POOR BROKEN CHILD LET ME HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

I know it's probably for that wonderful shot of them through the door but Dean fundamentally does not sit up against the wall - he and Sam have their places at that table when they have their chats and it's a serious thing since the entire time theyve been using the kitchen for important plot chats.

Anyway he super not okay bcos that's his seat he sits at when he's in his proper place in the dynamic - or improper one but the point is the dynamic is the dynamic when they sit opposite each other and Dean's opted out and flopped back against the wall instead of sitting where he normally does when he and Sam are in balance. Sam's connection to his seat has some other flavours of his side of the codependency issues but largely about his lack of assertiveness or getting too messed up about saving Dean, so we'll see

AAAH Sam is sitting one seat over as well.

I know it's a free table but there's 8 seats and REMARKABLY little flexibility about it.

Dean's wearing a black henley which is also baaad news. *pats him on the head and follows with a blanket*

Sam stands (or sits) his ground

Dean, gosh, I don't like when the camera follows you because this is probably going to be awful for my heart.

We also have not really had his POV much this ep except the Asmodeus chat up scene

He's mostly reacted. Like he thinks Jack is only reacting.

I DON'T LIKE THIS SCENE

PROTECT JACK FROM HIMSELF TOO

I hope he was just being curious like a super amped up version of how Kira on Orphan Black found out she has super healing powers so sliced her own arm open while being scared and fascinated with what she was and pissed off the adults wouldn't tell her anything but this was gross and violent and pls protect Jack because that was awful.

Dean's suitably horrified though because he has to contemplate Jack is just as freaked out and lost as he is about this whole thing because this is a gross and horrifying way to show that Jack is as fucked up and lost as the rest of them. I don't think he was actually trying to kill himself esp. because he knew the angel blade already stabbed him and did nothing and even if he doesn't know what it is and why that's signficant he knows he didn't die of something that should have killed him... I hope it's just childlike curiosity mixed with bleak existential horror as he comes to understand how much he doesn't understand himself even in the context of the world he's in...

OH NO

but also good lines of dialogue they acted super well. Jack is starting to think he can't be saved if Dean doesn't think it and is silently asking him to do it because he doesn't want to hurt people and oh gosh this isn't 10x09 at all where Deran asked Cas to do it to him... But completely different emotional landscape where Dean WOULD do it and wants to and Jack is only just starting to doubt himself and wonder if he would hurt people and the important thing is not like Dean thinking there was a line he would cross and half-tricking Cas into saying he'd do it by asking him for a favour first, but Cas not being able to oblige him in 10x22... This is Jack being such a good pure piece of nougat that he's SCARED of what he is and what he can do and beginning to think that he might need to be killed esp. because Dean thinks so and this has been a bad day for him... even though again his nature shone through, Dean thinks it was a "sneeze" and Jack still doesn't have a developed enough moral compass to understand what he did except that we can see it was a good thing.

And final shot Jack reflected in the mirror all bloody and sad and I need to zoom in on that later to see his face because like magic the sun is out again when I want to look at the screen.

End episode here. Good. That means Dean angstily listening to music is in 13x03 almost for sure because I want it to be (uh, sorry that's not science :P) but it would be a great Berens to Berens chat with self about 9x14 and Dean angstily listening to music there.

I am not actually where were we are any more except powering towards London, but I'm gonna put my laptop away because they're still topping up the champagne and I just survived a BL episode where nothing so awful happened that I can see the fandom outrage from a million miles away and the worst I can say is that they are an exposition machine and I wish they had more nuanced dialogue because in someone else's hands that character stuff would have been delivered well rather than just delivered :P

#13x02 #my stuff #season 13 spoilers #I actually got some of this answered by Tink & co on whatsapp later #but then I had to explain my #look at this effin table #tag to them and me vs typos while texting and no signal in the bleak wilderness #yeah I hope they even have half a clue what I was on about :D #tomorrow I will have to make a post about wtf is going on with that table but tl:dr I flipped out about it completely #and regret that the last time i was drawn to make a Big Post about it it was from the Destiel perspective #with just a handful of codependency chat #because now I really really wish I had a big post about the codependency stuff there #with just a sprinkle of the Destiel stuff on the side #NOT PROOF READ HOLY SHIT LIKE NOT AT ALL WHO AM I WHERE AM I #I am lucky this entire post isn't soaked in a glaswegian's prosecco

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your-not-invisible-to-me · 7 years ago

Text

Piece By Piece- (Rob Benedict x Reader) PART 3

Chapter 2

A/N: This may seem like the last chapter but I swear it isn't.

Summary: Reader is a teenage actress on Supernatural, and at 15 years old her abusive parents kick her out of the house because they disapprove of her career. After an emotional breakdown at the latest convention, Rob takes her in.

Pairing: Father Figure Rob x Reader

Word Count: 1,424

WARNING: Parental Abuse, Neglect, Emotional Breakdown, Fear, Loneliness.

LISTEN TO THIS SONG FIRST: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwTMz6Nfhjg

“So, what’s going to happen to her now?” asked Rob, sitting at his kitchen table across from the social worker that had arrived at his house.

It had been about a week and a half since Rob had told Y/N she was staying at his house, and he had finally been able to get a social worker to investigate. Living with Rob was actually pretty easy. Since she had been kicked out with only a duffle bag, Rob had been giving her old clothes she could wear until further notice.

Luckily, he was the taller one.

But really, it was really easy. Y/N helped out as much as she could, always making sure to clean up after herself if it was needed, always making sure to pay for her expenses if she could. But even then, Rob never asked for a dime of money.

He also had no issues what so ever it seemed with waking up at seven in the morning to take her to school. They had discovered Rob only lived a twenty-minute car ride away.

For what seemed like the first time in Y/N’s life, everything seemed to be going fine.

“Well, after one visit to her home, I can tell by just the outside that it’s not stable for a teenage girl to live there.” said the social worker, making some last-minute adjustments to the statement Rob had given her.

“What do you mean?” asked Rob.

“There was a decent size hole in the roof right above where Y/N’s room would be.” Rob’s eyes went wide, not expecting that answer at all.

“Her parents made it clear that she wasn’t welcome back in the house, however. As a minor, she’ll be awarded into custody of the state. Y/N will be placed in one of the foster homes.”

“Wait, what? There’s nowhere else she can go?” asked Rob.

“There are no local family members we could find, and the only living family member we could find was a grandma living in an old folk’s home across the country. She’s in no state to care for a fifteen-year-old.” said the social worker.

“What about her job on the show? Her job at conventions? Her school?”

“She’ll most likely have to leave it, the foster house would be required to house and feed her. Nothing says they should have to pay for flights and things like that.”

“How was she paying for them before?”

“Apparently that’s part of the reason why her parents had kicked her out. They refused to keep paying for them once they found out what exactly they were paying for.” said the social worker. He closed up his notebook, packing them into his briefcase.

“School?” asked Rob. This was getting worse and worse as he listened on.

“We’ll always do our best to find her a foster family that lives in the same district, but again. It’s no guarantee.”

Rob frowned, defiantly not liking the answers that he was getting from the social worker sitting in front of him.

He had known Y/N for almost two years, and she was a fantastic kid. She was so smart, smarter than Rob in some categories, he had to admit.

He was never so good at math, and after watching her do homework backstage at conventions for the past year, she was a whole lot better.

She was polite, always did what was asked for her, sometimes even more. For the week and a half she had lived with him he didn’t have one complaint to give. He knew she deserved better than being forced to uproot her entire life at such a young age.

Especially since he knew he was fully capable of preventing it.

Suddenly, a knock came on Rob’s apartment door. He looked down at his watch, realizing it was 4:07. Y/N had sworn she had a ride for when school ended, but Rob had just now realized he had forgotten to give her a key.

“Coming!” yelled Rob, racing to the door to let his new-found roommate in.

Well…

“Hey.” I said as Rob opened the door. I looked forward, seeing the man in the business suit standing up from the kitchen table.

“Oh, hello.” I said.

“Hello, Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m assuming you’re the social worker Rob told me he was going to call?” I asked. I set my bag down on the floor, but I left my shoes on. If this goes how it usually goes, I wasn’t staying here for much longer.

“So, let’s just get right to it, what’s happening to me now?”

“Well, I took a visit to your parents, and the department has concluded that it’s not a safe environment for you to be staying in. Thank god Mr. Benedict here realized there was something wrong when he did. You’ll be taken into custody of the state, and be placed into a foster home.” I nodded, picking my bag back up.

“Wait.” said Rob suddenly, holding his hand up before me and the social worker could even move an inch.

“Can she stay with me? I am more than willing than to petition for legal guardianship.” said Rob, no hesitation present in his voice what so ever.

“Rob what are-.” the social worker cut me off.

“Well, you would need to petition the court for guardianship, fill out the appropriate forms, alert her parents, and go through a trial run. You’d be given a month before an agent would come out here and check on everything going on.”

“Tell me how to get those forms and it’s done.” said Rob. My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped in shock. Rob offering to let me stay with him permanently was defiantly something I did not see coming.

“Also, considering she’s over 14, you need consent from Y/N.” said the social worker, turning to me.

I stood there in silence, still a little dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry, I’m- I’m just a little shocked that this is happening.”

“Is that a yes?” asked Rob.

I looked at the man in front of me.

Rob Benedict was without a doubt the best human being I have ever met. I didn’t want to burden him, it was the thought that was pounding at me in the back of my mind. But I looked up at him, seeing something in his eyes I’d never seen before when I looked at my own father.

He cared.

“Yeah,” I said, nodding rather quickly, “yeah of course I give consent.”

“Well it’s settled then. I’ll have the papers dropped by within the week Mr. Benedict.” said the social worker, shaking Rob’s hand before turning, leaving the apartment.

The second the door closed I turned back to Rob.

“Rob, I, for the love of god Rob you don’t have to do this. I, I don’t want to burden you more than I already have. You’ve done, you’ve done so much for me already by just being my friend.”

“Hey, Y/N. Look at me, you’re not a burden. I’ve known you for nearly two years, you’re a joy to be around. You’re a good kid, and you deserve better than you having to uproot your life. You deserve better than having your dad leave you behind, I wouldn’t wish that feeling upon my worst enemy.”

I nodded, making the connection immediately.

“But you know everything that’s wrong with me Rob; the nightmares, you’ve witnessed first-hand my anxiety…”

“I don’t care.”

“Do you realize the expenses of housing a teenager for what, the next three years?” I asked. I was gonna be flat out realistic.

“Hey, I’ve been on my own for who knows how long. I have plenty of money put away, enough for me and you together. Plus, I gotta admit, I like taking care of someone else.”

“I-Rob, I just, I don’t know what…”

Rob sighed, walking towards me, placing both his hands on my shoulders. He could tell I still wasn’t totally believing everything that was going on.

“Y/N, your dad quite literally kicked you out of your house. I can see he broke that soul of yours into a million different pieces. If you let me, I will try my damn hardest to help put those pieces back together.”

I smiled, a tear escaping my eye as I immediately wrapped my arms around him, Rob’s shirt getting wet as the tears kept going.

But it was okay, because Rob knew they were tears of happiness.

And it was okay, because maybe I finally had found a home.

STORY TAGS: @thebookisbtr @emilywells19 @littleshone @a-banana-for-your-thoughts @pancake-pages @stationary-queen @bryannekenzie @alicat-life @winchestergirl-13 @melodyhiddleston @flamequeen12

ROB TAGS: @nerdyforyourbooks @madame-marilyn @tas898 @internationalmusicteacher @lizzy077 @natasha-cole

FOREVER TAGS: @laffytaffyhumor @hudine @fandom--0verdose @madame-marilyn @casgrl @nerdyforyourbooks @waywardswain @goldenolaf25 @88dragon06 @dont-hate-relate-pls @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll @i-dont-understand-that-url @b-northington @idk-fandom @bea789 @nanie5 @jelly-beans-and-gstrings @captain-amelia-bradley @a-michellerae-things

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surveys-at-your-service · 8 years ago

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Survey #67

“i wanna grow up, i wanna be, a big rockin’ roll star!”

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class? i always listened, yeah, but it scared me a lot because my anxiety around that time was mostly health-focused. i was afraid i was going to get everything somehow lmao. what are your feelings regarding shopping? i like shopping for myself, but not for vitals. like grocery shopping, nah man. shopping for stuff like clothes, bueno. do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i'm not certain about many things, but i am certain about that. have you ever worn fishnets? no, but dey sexy. do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? occasionally i'll go to get them done, and the woman who does them is actually my hairdresser. do you believe prayer really works? boy, isn't this relevant to some things going on... the answer is, i don't know, but i'm leaning towards "only if god for whatever fucking reason deems you more worthy than someone else who's prayed for something for a fucking year but i don't want her to have that." the people whose prayers come true just seem so fucking cherry-picked. do you have one best friend who is always there for you? apparently not. only when she agrees my issues are "valid." describe one of your most emotional farewells. well, the one that affected me the most was certainly when jason left, but it wasn't the most emotional in that moment of all my farewells. the one i would define as most emotional was when my lizard shadow died. he was old (i had him most of my life) and wasn't moving much, but i finally realized he was dying. it was so. fucking. slow. and he was obviously in agony the last day (yes, this shit lasted days), as he kept writhing and opening his mouth to gulp in air... oh my god, i don't even like talking about it. i sobbed and sobbed and talked to him so much, and any time i sat by his cage, he always looked at me. he was such a sweet little boy. have you ever been tied up? no. i really don't know how i'd feel about that. how many times have you been cussed out? online, PLENTY. irl, i only remember one occasion. does it bother you when people ask personal questions? who's asking? do you know anyone who’s been in jail? i do. have you ever considered acupuncture? noooo. have you ever watched the same sex undress? she undressed in front of me, but i didn't watch her. have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? i've seen him tear up, but never totally cry. have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? my dad's a recovering alcoholic, so i saw him drunk a lot. i'm pretty sure i've seen mom drunk once, but she denies being drunk. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but i mean, i'd play something like mario kart for family fun. do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) hm. debatable. does it bother you when dogs lick you? no, unless they're licking my face. do you feed your pets human food? occasionally. which is worse: being sexist or racist? oh jeez. do you think suicide is selfish? i mean, yeah, it is, but if this makes sense, it's not a damnable kind of selfish? like you truly are thinking about yourself and not how it would affect others, but sometimes, y'know, you need to think about yourself. i'm not saying suicide is ever necessary, but i understand why it happens. would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? heh, probably. what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? lmao i think i have one taylor swift song. OMG I DO IT'S "PICTURE TO BURN" KILL ME. how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? VERYVERYVERY. i have to be sincerely interested in you. do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i'm sure you've heard this enough in my surveys, but never had sex, done sexual things. but i mean sure, doing things in places other than the bed was usually more fun, but i ALWAYS felt way, WAY more vulnerable and paranoid. in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? of course it is. people change/learn. what's the first animal you go to see at the zoo? it would be a meerkat if my zoo still had them, buuut... what's the strangest or rarest creature you've seen at a zoo? a white (not albino) alligator! o: what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn't be? oh, i'm sure there's many if i was more knowledgeable about this subject. do you like zoos or aren't you bothered? i have mixed emotions. i offer you a cigarette, you say... "no thanks." why do you think you were put on this earth? i go back and forth between god planned me very intricately and uniquely to my parents just decided they wanted a kid. is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? NO. YOU DO NOT. TEACH YOUR CHILD. THROUGH FEAR. do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? oh boy, this question. no. it doesn't. pretty sure we didn't have video games since humanity began, and we've had violence since the start. are you in any shape or form, racist? no, i'm not. are you in any shape or form, sexist? no, i'm not. how do you think the world will end? the world itself, or humanity? humanity will end whenever god feels like it. the earth itself, well, i guess if it explodes somehow. what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? WHAAAAAAT, I HAVE TO PICK ONE?! would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i know without a doubt you killed a child, mine especially, i kill you. what is your favorite cover of a song? "hurt" by johnny cash. bar none. have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? holy fuck, thank god no. have you ever received or given a make-over? ... oh god... yeah... i gave jason a make-over lmfao and got him to pose for a picture after like 30 minutes of pestering him. i'd show the picture, but i have too much respect for him ha ha ha. do you know anyone who is HIV+? not to my knowledge. have you ever been to a desert? nope. do you know any trans* people? not irl what is your favorite beatles song? "hey jude." i'm honestly not a big beatles fan whatsoever. what is the poorest you have ever been? probably now, really... i'm sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who's your favorite? markiplier! is there something written on your shirt right now? "we're all mad here" what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? "king nothing" by metallica!! \m/ where do you find the surveys you take? as of right now, i've been getting my surveys from a lad over at livejournal who has a good 2k surveys stockpiled up. i'll occasionally pick some up from tumblr, too. if i'm truly desperate, i'll just google search and find random webpages. what's one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? OMGGGGGG YAAAAAAA'LLLLLL. okay so my dog teddy has this super weird habit of, totally out of the blue, trying to climb onto me and lie directly over my face. like i have to physically hold him back to stop him, and he still fights against me to try and get on me. i haven't the slightest idea why he does it, but it's super annoying... i always have to bring him to his room so he'll stop and calm down. what's your favorite song by your favorite artist? YOU SHOULD NOOOOT BE ASKING ME THIS QUESTION OH GOD. i have a very, very difficult time picking favorite songs. i'll go through my fave artists regardless though and try... ozzy osbourne: probably "trapdoor." metallica: oh god. uhhh. "king nothing," i assume. otep: eeeeek!! i really, really love "special pets" and "apex predator" like the same!! marilyn manson: yikes. errr. "heart-shaped glasses," maybe. WAIT. "angel with the scabbed wings," perhaps. cradle of filth: i guess their cover of "mr. crowley." rammstein: "donaukinder," pretty easily this time. a day to remember: "i'm made of wax, larry, what're you made of?" fuckin' rocks!! do you have an "original character?" well, as a forum role-player since i think 2007, i think last time i counted, i have over 200, lmao. and yes, i'm attached to them all too much to kill off half of them. fuck my life rip rip rip. what about a persona/fursona? ye, ozzkat. do you ever MAKE your own surveys? not an entire survey, no, but once in a blue moon i'll think of a question i think's really good and add it onto a survey. why's it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases? i mean, besides the obvious, are you asking why it was ever made this way to begin with? *shrugs* who really knows? do you get good internet there? nnnnnope. it goes out pretty frequently. ever had a cavity? how many? i sure have, but idk how many. ever broken a tooth? indeed. when i passed out as i was scrambling out of the shower because i felt dizzy, i landed dead on my chin. a good number of my molars shattered. the feeling of all those broken fragments in my mouth when i woke up... ewwwww. ;D; for a while, they went untreated as they were not causing much issue. eventually though, they needed to be filled, i think because the microscopic cracks that were formed were expanding. it could've ruined those teeth. what did you do on the playground at your school as a child? for a long, long time, i mainly swung if there were any swings open. it was the one thing i actually enjoyed doing outside. in my older elementary school years, i actually started a trend, ha ha: digging tunnels with our hands in the sand pit. idk why exactly i liked doing it, but i did. my friends and i would always be the weirdos digging the entire time we were outside. i remember once we made a pretty intricate system. are you into comics? no, i don't read them, but i still sometimes enjoy who the subject is. ex. i like batman, but i've never read his comics once. would you ever like to work on a farm? i would not. i don't like outdoor labor, honestly. did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? sure did! we had "putt-putt," "freddy the fish," "i spy spooky mansion," "odell down under," "oregon trail," i personally had vet-oriented games, and i remember there was one about going up the amazon river, and it was the third in the series. that one was my all-time favorite. OH OH OH! and i had this wicked cool dinosaur game that taught you about various dinosaurs and looked sooo realistic!! what do you think of people who have therapists? i think they're brave as fuck to admit they have a problem and need help??? like what else would i think??? do you have any of those adult coloring books? i do. i don't use 'em a lot, though. don't enjoy coloring like i used to. ever ridden an elephant? no, but that'd be REALLY cool. deserts: dreary or beautiful? beautiful!!! ever seen a panda? i don't believe i have, even in a zoo. what kind a camera do you have? nikon d3200 do you have stretch marks? where? don't be shy, they're tiger stripes! i'm much convinced they're not tiger stripes. all they tell you is i'm overweight, not that i'm a warrior. and honestly, the better question is where don't i have stretch marks. i gained weight way too fucking fast when jason left, so... they're kinda all over the place. they're fucking gross and i've tried so hard to get rid of them using bio oil (which was working, but we don't have the money to keep buying) and another cream that doesn't do much. ugh. lobsters: cool or scary? both. they're honestly pretty creepy, but i do believe they're still quite cool, too. opposoms: total vermin or cute? CUTE AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK what tv channel dominated your childhood? ha ha animal planet!!! if nicole was picking what to watch it'd be disney channel, but me, animal planet. (: it's such a shame how much animal planet has changed, though... now it's all about people and how to survive a fucking animal attack... ever actually seen a snake in the wild? here in the rural south, plenty of times. i have two noteworthy occasions, though. once, when i was being dropped off at home from school by a family friend, we stopped short because of something in the driveway. my sisters and i got out of the car to see a rattlesnake- a HUGE one- curled up, head raised, hissing, and rattling its tail vigorously. we called for our mom and dad, who came outside and immediately called somebody; i don't recall who, but they were not going to harm the snake. they came quickly and, with a shovel i think, moved the snake to the large tobacco field right across the road of our house. the snake was quite compliant, i was surprised. second, also many years ago, i was taking a walk and found a pretty small snake in the middle of the road, which is just a gravel path. it didn't want to move, but it seemed perfectly alive and healthy. i couldn't identify the species, but i don't think it was venomous. regardless though, i refused to be stupid and touch it, but i still stayed by it and directly a car once around the snake because i didn't want it run over. my friend came over, however (they were whom i got around the snake), so i abandoned the serpent and went home to play. after she left, i went to check on the snake, and he'd been run over. :( i was sincerely sad. have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? i've had two! my first ever was a ball python named mona lisa, and wow... i never knew it was POSSIBLE to love a snake so dearly. i mean, "it's just a snake," right? no, she was family. she was going to play a big part in my senior project actually, but she sadly died due to the pet store's own negligence (there was a tick on her when we adopted her, and it apparently made her ill). after mona, i adopted another snake quite a while later; it was too young to distinguish gender, so i gave it a neutral name: cato. it too was a ball python, and we had little cato for a very short period of time... it never deficated, and when it passed and its tailbase swole up, we took its corpse right to petsmart because i had a feeling they were to blame. again. apparently, we'd adopted a sick snake: something was wrong with its bowels, no doubt, and the employee assumed it had to do with bacteria. i absolutely refuse to ever adopt a reptile from petsmart or petco ever again; they just don't treat their reptiles and rodents (i've got a gooood story about rats...) like family in my frank opinion. i've located a ball python morph breeder instead, and i plan on adopting from him very, very soon. (: ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they're scary! ha ha ha omg guys my older sister ashley once fished up a HUGE snapping turtle!! it was liiivid! i can't remember how my dad did it, but he got it off suuuuuper-duper carefully. wait, or maybe he just cut the line, i don't remember. do you like oatmeal? eh, i have to be in the mood, and it needs JUST the right amount of milk or it's too liquidy. i also only eat it with milk, not water. wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? i have once in the wild! :D i live in north america, so it was the bald eagle. it was SO BIG. ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? did you ever pick up the crickets? i sure have: a chinese water dragon lizard named shadow. for a very long time, i couldn't touch the crickets, no. eventually though, i would pick 'em up and drop them into the cage. later in shadow's life though, it was much easier (and convenient for him) to just dump the whole bag of them into his terrarium. it was so cute how he'd get so excited every single time he saw a cricket! i miss him. :( ever play hearthstone? i have, but only to get the "i won three games" mount in world of warcraft, lmao. it's an okay game, but i don't love it. i'm not the best with tactic games like that. ever gone hunting? biggest thing you've ever shot? i do not go hunting, no, i can't stand the idea of killing an animal for sport. my little sister does sometimes, though. i don't think she's been in a few years, however. coolest place you've ever been hunting? n/a. how about fishing? biggest thing you've ever caught? heeeeeell yeah, man! been fishing since i was a little girl! :D i never keep anything i catch though: i kiss my hand, touch the fish's head with it, and gently place it back into the water from whence it came. i caught my biggest many summers ago while catfishing one night... i hooked a blue catfish in the eye. whoooops. o.o; i ended up catching it, and it was huuuuge! wish i had the picture dad took to show you guys. with its size, dad said i could certainly keep the fish to cook up for dinner, but i said no, to let him go. watching dad take the hook out though was horrid; the fish ended up losing its eye. :( so i called him "'ole one-eye," hehe. 'ole one-eye was just fine when he got back in the water, thank goodness. i almost caught something i KNOW was even bigger once, though. same fishing spot, catfishing again. fought with it for a while, and holy SHIT i wish i'd seen how big it was. ended up breaking my line pretty quickly. i wanna go catfishing again. :( coolest place you've ever been fishing? i've never been fishing outside north carolina, and not far from home, either, so i haven't really been anywhere necessarily "cool." there's two places i consider quite interesting, though. the catfishing spot, for one, is at a dam. i don't know what about it, it's just real cool there. the second spot, though, is much more wild. it's in the middle of shitfucknowhere and you have to brave through some pretty thick woods to get to the river. It's also connected to a dam, but you can't see it from where you fish. it's a great place to fish for striper. boy, is it pretty there, too... wish i had pictures. i love how untouched it is. i watched a mink, i think it was, dive into the water once. this fishing talk is making me so nostalgic! which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i wouldn't say one's "cooler" than the other, but i find an african elephant to be more proportional with the size of its ears. the asian elephant's ears look too small. craziest thing you've ever eaten? i honestly don't think i've ever eaten anything considered strange. i'm VERY picky and don't really risk much with food. i mean i guess the "weirdest" thing was i took the smallest, smallest bite out of deer jerky once. what's in a camel's back? fat. it's not water, if that's what you wanted me to say. do you believe in any cryptids? i think i do, yes. there's just been too, too many sightings, and i don't believe that many people are liars. i think i believe in sasquatch, chupacabra (not the "omg it drinks blood" bullshit, but the coyote/??? mixed creature), the dover demon, mothman, hellhounds/the many ghostly hounds people have seen in the world, olitiau if i spelled that correctly, i'm iffy with the jersey devil, and i'm sure i'm forgetting some i think are plausible... i am VERY interested in learning about any cryptid. i mean c'mon, a good portion of our world is entirely undocumented! who knows what's out there! "lost tapes" was my shit back in the day, until like the last season where everything looked too fake. steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? steve irwin was anything but a fool. he was an inspiration for all us people who love and are fascinated by animals. he was my teacher, despite never meeting him. he put his safety aside to teach the world about creatures big and small so we could respect and honor them. god bless that man, and may he rest in peace. you were and still are my hero. what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? some things need to be kept quite, sure. like i'm not gonna go on facebook and proclaim, "i just had sex boiz!!" or "just took a shit, ya'll!" some things, keep a mystery. your whole life isn't everyone else's business, you know? if you post a lot, i have no issue with that, just know your boundaries. don't you think it's a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra? no??? is wearing certain pants to make ya dick look bigger deceptive, too??? perhaps some people are more comfortable with the cushioning. or maybe they could only find their size as push-up. or, just maybe, a woman likes to feel better about herself. do you truly believe we came from chimps? why? no, i don't. and i have a plethora of reasons, but the underlying belief of mine is that it's just implausible and i don't believe our body can "pick" the "right" trait to pass on to increase odds of survival. to believe we all came from one organism just seems... very unlikely. well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them? if you're talking about the appendix, it actually does have a use. it's vital to survival in the fetal stage. I don't remember what it does, though... extra bones, i can't entirely tell you with certainty. my own sister had an extra bone in her hand, gross stuff... i like to think of them as god fooling around in the sims creation page *wink* if you could choose anyone to be your mother, who would it be? i honestly don't think in any case i'd want another mom. if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be? ... i honestly want to say james hetfield, but i think incest might be a problem because fuckshittits i'd fuck him and he's in his 50s kill me pls end this madness. weirdest video game you've ever played? hmmm. i personally don't think i've ever played a "weird" game. the first "silent hill" is pretty damn whacky, but far more in a scary sense than weird. it just really throws everything you've ever thought about the world into chaos. we're having a pig-pickin'! whatcha eating? oh god... i hate those... please no... D: ever been on a scary hay ride? i have indeed, at the old church-oriented cheerleading and basketball place ever been to a castle? i have n- wait! i've been in cinderella's castle in disney world! :D what's your favorite kind of penguin? i think they're called emperor penguins. they look very majestic but silly simultaneously! whales. should they be allowed in sea world? i don't think so, honestly. if so, they'd need a WAY bigger aquarium than i remember seeing them in... ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal? pretty sure i've seen albino mice, but that's it, i think. what do you think of the song "miss jackson" by panic! at the disco? good song very good a++ what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? i'm pretty sure her lock screen is she and her husband, and her home screen is a bible quote. do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? nope, no one. do you like using big words when you talk? if i believe this word to be more descriptive/accurate when explaining something, sure? do you EVER use caps lock? yes, i do, for emphasis. i'm extremely passionate and talk exactly how i type, so there's gotta be emphasis!! are you loud when you’re having sex? i wouldn't know, but i was always quiet doing sexual things because i was sooo nervous about being loud, even if no one was around. have you ever wanted to drop out of school? definitely. i was suicidal in high school partially because of school, and i really considered it in order to potentially save myself (i ended up having to drop all but one class when the issue was brought to my principal). i did drop out of college. when was the last time you watched south park? well over a year ago. i watched it with jason occasionally, he enjoyed it. are you italian? i am not. are you interested in photography at all? well, i'm hoping to be a photographer, so. any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? not at all. there are some whose answers i disagree with very much, but honestly, every survey taker i've seen seem pretty cool. do you like bob marley? OH MY GOOOOOD NO I HATE HIS VOICE can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? i don't think so, honestly. are you interested in art? very much so. don't you think we're spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? lmao who made this, donald trump??? no. climate change is important as fuck and if we keep this shit up, could very well end or nearly decimate humanity. everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what's your SECOND favorite? probably rhesus macaques. very mischievous and social. who’s your favorite disney character? probably mulan, but i have no real preference. have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? YES AND I HAD ZERO MATCHES GG do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? not anymore, no. how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? i'm not sure how much either of them costs... and i really don't know how much i'd pay, but not too much, i mean, it's just prom. would you marry someone of a different religion? depends on the religion, really. like some religions have beliefs i would never respect, such as some religions believe the woman is far lesser than the man. i wouldn't marry someone with those beliefs. how did you learn the word “fuck”? school, i'm sure. if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? why would i want to be friends with my enemy, as anyone who i consider my enemy is obviously so for a reason? what is the last movie you saw in theaters? trolls. soooo cute. (: have you ever got into a wreck? i've been in an accident, not a wreck, i'd say. do you think you are an argumentative person? no. to avoid confrontation, i usually just keep my opinion to myself to avoid this whole issue. can you admit when you’re wrong? i'm quick to admit that honestly. i doubt myself. are you easily confused? VERY VERY VERY do you think you would make a good wife/husband? i hope... have you ever caught a butterfly? omg i forgot this story... a few days after jason left (it may have even been the next day, i don't recall), i found a yellow-and-black, crippled butterfly. i tried so hard to nurse it back to health, but it was useless, it was going to and did die. i buried it in my back yard among crysanthemums (i probably murdered spelling that). honestly, part of me getting my semicolon butterfly tattoo relates to that butterfly. have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? no, that sounds... really wrong. do you like being kissed on the neck? if you want your clothes ripped off, sure. favorite song by the band the offspring? uh-oh, i'm not sure! i reeeaaally love "why don't you get a job" and "pretty fly for a white guy" about the same. how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i never use an alarm, so. when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? fries because i'm a fat american what video game or computer game are you best at? am i best at? idk, really. how do you normally come across new music? youtube's recommendations what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? it depends on what you want to do in your future, really. they all have purpose, just not for everyone. do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? i wouldn't say i "enjoy" them, but i'll usually get excited a bit for like a minute just because something different is going on. are you pretty politically correct? yes and no. have you ever behaved like a stalker? ... i think so, honestly. do you appreciate other people’s opinions? appreciate, yes. it's part of what makes us unique. if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? *shrugs* do you care what’s going on in the world? i'm one of the idiots that lives on it, duh i do. how many partners is too many? having any more than one do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? yeah, ensure there's no blood or anything. do you prefer boys to shave down there? no preference. whatever they're comfortable with. how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? all she knows is i almost had sex once but didn't. i talked to her about it because i felt VERY guilty. are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names? only ashley is married, and her husband's name is nick. have you ever had a pet bird? no, i wish. how many times have you moved in your lifetime? i've moved twice. if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them? piercing, labret. one tattoo... ohhhh man... i think it'd still probably be what i'm starting next: the painting "denialism" by da's tatchit on my right upper arm. it doesn't have a personal meaning to me, honestly, i just think it's fucking awesome. would you consider yourself to be adventurous? depends, really. what're the risks of what i'm doing? has any part of your house ever been flooded? no, only our yard. is there anyone that you're worried about right now? who and why? well, jason is the obvious. i always worry about him, whether or not he's happy and moreso if he's being loved enough... because i can guaranfuckingtee ashley will never love him like i do. if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it? i'm sure i would, but idk where. describe the best friend you've ever had, or the best person you've ever known. jason, quite easily. he was both my boyfriend and best friend. he just kinda... changed one day. have you ever adopted a stray animal? MANY cats, yes. if you were seriously ill and couldn't find the necessary help or treatment in your home country, would you ever travel abroad to get treatment, expenses aside? who wouldn't, honestly? what time did you wake up this morning? i'm woke 24/7, motherfucker. ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything? i have. apparently, i wasn't. would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? i actually kinda want to, but it's another hair color mom won't allow. my hair is like supremely healthy and she doesn't want me to ruin it. what is your mom’s middle name? marie do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes? yes, a very mellow dark brown. have you had your wisdom teeth out? no, but it looks to be inevitable soon. your appendix? nope, i still have it.

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