#idk why I didn’t just retype it out

[baddygab-bi]

Your analysis of the script leak is really interesting! I know next to nothing about the industry or how this type of behind-the-scenes stuff works. But I had similar thoughts about the script having been retyped due to lack of watermark and other issues that you noted. That being said, I still hoped it was an early draft because I didn't care for how Buck and Eddie came across in the scene. And no, I'm not just referring to the b-word, LOL...it's a combination of the plot aspects (Eddie/Marisol) dialogue choices ("a little bit gay"???) and general back-and-forth didn't seem 100% true to their characters.

Also, I'm not sure if you're aware, but the leaker claimed that they were exchanging Facebook messages with a crew member who sent them the scripts. They apparently named the crew member in their messages. As you said, it's illegal and a violation of contract, so it doesn't make sense to me why someone would risk so much. They could of course be lying - maybe they worked for the show but got fired, took information as they left and just blamed this random crew member because they were bitter? As of right now, people who know the name of the crew member haven't disclosed it.

We'll know soon enough how accurate the script is...

Oops, missed this from a few days ago!

I PRAY I’m wrong about the leaks being real. Like I would celebrate being wrong. I WANT to be wrong so badly. I think people think I want them to be real. I don’t. I reallyyyyyyy don’t.

The more I think about them, the more I don’t even know how I feel about them. Some of it I believe, because we have context from other places, like all the Eddie/Marisol stuff, the Buck and Tommy stuff. Based on interviews and BTS the leaks line up. But some of the dialogue is just bad. The “little bit gay” doesn’t bump for me, because Buck is still working out his sexuality, he may not have the words for it yet, I’m willing to overlook that until Buck has the words for himself. But the idiot thing feels weird to me, like I can’t hear that coming from Ryan. Also, the script is just not well written. Like I said before, they talked about this like it’s the production draft (that means the one they use to shoot) and it’s just not written in the writer’s style at all. Her writing doesn’t look like that. She doesn’t use (beat) she uses (then). In the leak there are 2 then and 1 beat. In another script she co-wrote (meaning she was the main help with story and maybe writing it hands-on depending on her co-writer) there was not a single beat in the entire episode. There being 1 in this scene feels off. She wouldn’t have a sentence like “he beckons to him before moving closer to him” that’s just bad writing. Also, she wouldn’t start a sentence with and in an action line. Maybe she’s switching up her writing style, idk, but I’m torn. I think all the plot stuff could be true while the dialogue seems stilted. Dialogue is also changed around up until and even during filming, so we’ll have to wait and see. But the leaked plots all make sense. The Marisol thing though, that’s gonna be a trip.

I didn’t know that! I was thinking of the leaker being the crew member who physically leaked the information, not the person who released it on social media. I figured it went through someone else, but I’m thinking about the actual person from 911 as the leaker, the other person is like their accomplice lol. Do you know the name of the crew member? I’m really curious now if I was right about them. I could see this person getting fired or quitting and wanting to burn some stuff on the way. But also now knowing it’s Facebook makes me a lot more weary, because who the fuck actually uses FB anymore? I remember seeing this one person on Reddit who was like “Do you guys know if this is really Kenneth? He likes my posts! He wants to be my friend!” And everyone was like… no, that’s obviously fake. And the person on Reddit was convinced it wasn’t fake. So… hmm… really hoping this is another fake thing. Had it come through Insta or twitter it would be a lot more verifiable, but without knowing a name or seeing a profile, idk… Could very likely be someone trying to mess with a gullible fan.

I want to not believe it, but I also know it could be true so I’m kinda keeping one foot in both doors right now. I hope I’m wrong but I won’t be shocked if I’m right

[prinsasspeach]

Autism

I haven’t used this since, idek when, I never understood why tumblr didn’t date posts, and I never even thought about doing it, but oh well, that’s irrelevant rn. So anyways, I guess, I am just venting out loud, but through my fingers right now, because I have realized that I find it impossible to burden others with my thoughts and feelings. I am deciding that as I write this, I am just going to type what I think/feel and I am not going to allow myself to retype this or overanalyze my words. Lol, this is it, this is me, authentic Heaven, maybe. I don’t know. What is authentic anymore. I always thought that I was being authentic and maybe I was. But primarily I think that I was masking hard. I look back and can see how I always tried to be the people around me. I would notice that they had friends or were well liked by others. So what did I do? Well I’ll tell ya...I clung to them. I consumed their personality. Whale at least the bits that I thought were fascinating, the things I thought that others loved about them too. But when looking back I also recognize that I never really had genuine connections with any of these people. I was always fluttering around like a butterfly. Always jumping from one “clique” to another. trying to figure out where I could fit in. Changing attributes about myself to be more well liked or approachable. Always overthinking and overanalyzing every word that I said or movement that and did. Always questioning internally whether or not the person I was conversating with was enjoying it. So being away of all of this is like.. idkk.. eye opening to the fact that I have always essentially been fake. without even realizing it. & now all I want is to be authentically me, autistic or not, but I don’t really know what an authentic Heaven looks like. What does an authentic Heaven like? well.. she’s trying to figure it out that is for sure. Back to the autism thing though. I truly believe in my soul that I am autistic, and I want a diagnosis, but it seems so hard to achieve and I keep giving up.. :( I also feel like maybe I am a phony and there is no way I could be autistic even though I believe it so heavily. I keep going back and forth in my head about the diagnosis, like I want it so bad but what if they tell me that I am wrong, or what if I just answer the questions the wrong way.. dude honestly idek, I am JUST OVER THINKINGGGGG.   LOL, funny heaven, stepped away and lost my train of thought wholly. Part of me is like delete the whole thing and start over, but then I’m thinking, naw homieee that ain’t authentic of you.  ANYWAYYSS Autism.. Me. I believe I am autistic. Wholly, in my soul. I feel like I have masked damn near my entire life. Almost 27 years now eh? Lol yeah that’s right 27. I swear I have no concept of time, or distances, or my age for that matter. Like does my age really matter? I feel like a kid at heart, always longing to learn, play, and enjoy the hell out of life. Sadly right now I don’t feel like I am getting as much out of life as I could be and I don’t know why. I always feel like there is tooo much on m plate. & a part of that is what I started this post about. I don’t feel like I have truusted people to talk to anymore. Once upon a time I deff used to but now like IDK, I jus cannot. I tried to talk to my sister about the autism stuff and she like dismisses it without even knowing our trying. The other day it was “you can’t just make autism your whole personality now” like excuse me? I was sooo hurt. Like first of all I am not making it my whole personality I am finally embracing the quirks about me that I have been told my entire life are wrong, or make me weird, and that I need to stop being that way. Out of all the people I thought she would have my back in this, she is my support, and I feel like I have none. I feel like I am alone on this journey of autism. My partner is here for me and supports me, but it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t even know if I know what enough would look like. BUT I feel lost. I strive when I am in routine but I can never stick to a routine for long. I do soo much better when others tell me what to do OR give me a routine to follow. Or at least like take the lead in helping me make one. Making routines can be so hard for me, I feel debilitated, but without some sort of routine by life always feels behind. I used to feel like it was a flaw to need these things, used to feel like I needed to force myself in a situation where I needed to figure it all out on my own, and maybe I did need to, yes. BUT I don’t necessarily look at it as a flaw, especially if the person you are with wants to help take things off your plate to help keep the days rolling. but this past week and a half has been like chaotic and exhausting for me because I still feel like I am living in February,, constantly playing catch up on my “task list”, haven’t even finalized my March calendar.. I keep falling behind each day because I let my routine go from burnout  :( and when things get like this I usually need help and that feels like a flaw too. Anyways I am just ranting now. Lol, I forgot how much I like typing for fun. I usually only type for work, but typing out my own thoughts is riveting.  Thank goodness for building my own PC lol.  Anyways I don’t even know what else to say right now. This isn’t originally where I was going with this but I had to walk away a few times to take care of responsibilities.  Whale TATA for nowwww Lol ew don’t be weird heaven just say bye and end the post lol OKBYE

[booksandhotchocolate75]

[furby-junkie]

More Information Concerning Interactive Pikachu

Not long after finding the info from the Furby website about Interactive Meowth and Interactive Pikachu in 2021, I found a document talking about Argos and Hasbro that mentions the Pikachu toy. However, I was very confused at the time, thinking, “Is this really talking about the unreleased toy, or is this about something else because Interactive Pikachu was never released?” This was why I didn’t share it earlier. 

But, the document is talking about the unreleased Pikachu toy. Also, I recently found a transcript two days ago, for a court case between Argos and Hasbro UK, concerning the same matter the document talks about.

Some copy and paste work because I can’t be bothered retyping everything:

28/8/2022

Here are mentions of Interactive Pikachu in a document concerning agreements between Hasbro UK and Argos. I have NOT read much of the document, but the document talks about how the price of the toy was changed by Argos and Littlewoods from £23.99 to £23.75. Here’s another important bit of info: "The Interactive Pikachu toy was priced at £23.75 in the A/W 2000 catalogues of both Argos and Littlewoods. This is significant because it is not the original RRP nor a natural price point (such as £23.99), but the price which both Argos and Littlewoods arrived at by communication through Hasbro." I think the image of the Ocean Ripples Furby on a purple background (that’s currently on the wiki) is from the Autumn/Winter catalogue. The Ocean Ripples Furby image I posted earlier came from the same catalogue that the Interactive Pikachu is in. Interactive Meowth is not mentioned in the documents I found, so Idk if it is in the catalogue.

While I still don’t know Hasbro’s reason for not releasing it, the fact that it appeared in an Argos catalogue for 2000 seems to imply that Argos was planning to sell it at some point that year. As for the Ocean Ripples Furby, I don’t know why it’s there but maybe Hasbro was planning to release the generation 10 Furbys that year but didn’t do it. There’s also speculation that the image may have just been used as a placeholder, which is possible.

22/8/2023 

Elise Allen mentioned (links to another post I made) she wrote lines for an “E.T. Furby” and “Pikachu Furby”, and that they were going to have her do a “Mike and Sully” one.

17/9/2023 (UPDATE)

Here’s a screenshot of an Interactive Pikachu toy listing with a price of £23.75 in the Argos catalog. The photo looks like a Pikachu plush or I Choose You Pikachu, strangely. A HD scan of the page would be appreciated.

Another thing:

This post is talking about an unreleased interactive version of Pikachu that, unlike I Choose You Pikachu, can move its eyes and tail, speak to Furbys or another Interactive Pikachu toy, has voice recognition, and can battle with Interactive Meowth.

Like Interactive Pikachu, I Choose You Pikachu has blushing cheeks, a moving mouth, and moving ears, but it lacks the other features I mentioned. I Choose You Pikachu also came out in 1999, but Interactive Pikachu was supposed to be released in 2000.

Links

View the document here (archived version)

Click here for a transcript of a court case also mentioning Interactive Pikachu (archived version)

[reidsnose]

completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly (spencer reid x reader)

overview: spencer helps his best friend talk through her emotions

genre: angst? and fluff

warnings: mentions of cheating, bad coping mechanisms, idrk what else reader being upset for a little bit

a/n: this has been sitting in my notes app FOREVER but idk how i feel ab this one im usually strictly fluff so yall lmk :)

masterlist

you hated talking about your feelings. you knew it was unhealthy to keep it bottled and and 'deal with it on your own' but that didn't stop you from doing exactly that.

the worst part about your feelings right now was that you isolate to cope with them. you didn't want to interact with anyone at all because more likely than not you would lash out at them on accident. it just slips out sometimes.

when you trudged into the bullpen with your head down and your hands fidgeting with your zipper, you didn't even notice all eyes on you. you werent your usual happy self. you weren't being loud, you weren't cracking jokes. you were just begrudgingly existing amongst your favorite people and they knew there was something wrong.

"good morning gorgeous, its a paperwork day! that means no traveling!" garcia informed you brightly, trying to lighten my mood.

"oh. cool. thanks." you answered back, flashing her as much of a smile as you could muster after realizing the harshness of your words.

she shot morgan a look, to which he raised an eyebrow.

"hey pretty lady," he began as he walked over to you, "whats going on? did you drink some grumpy juice for breakfast?"

"no. im fine." you replied flatly, making your way to your desk.

"what in the world.." he whispered to garcia, not knowing you could still hear.

or maybe he did know. maybe he was trying to get on your nerves. no. this is the irritability talking. morgan was just being a good friend.

you groaned at your computer, retyping the same password for the 4th time.

this time Prentiss shot you a look.

"is everything ok?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"yeah my computer is being stupid." you rolled your eyes as it finally let you in.

"oh i know the feeling. if you need any help-"

"I'm alright. thanks." you cut her off, eyes glued to the file you were working on.

JJ, who had witnessed the whole interaction unfold, stood with her mouth agape.

"spence, your bestie needs you!" JJ tapped his shoulder and motioned to you.

he watched your jaw rhythmically clench and unclench. your tell. thats what you always did when you were irritated or angry.

"hey y/n," he hummed, sitting lightly on the corner of your desk, crinkling some of your paper work.

"Reid! my files!" you cried, swatting his thigh. he got up and murmured an apology.

"are you ok?" he asked simply, crouching down to meet your height as you sat in your chair.

"why does everyone keep asking me that!"

you knew why. you were being a bitch.

"you just called me Reid." he stated.

"its your name." you replied, not meeting his gaze.

"yeah but you always-" he began.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

he sighed, "if you need someone to talk to-"

"i don't need anyone to talk to because theres nothing to talk about!" you interrupted, causing him to furrow his eyebrows at the tone of my voice.

'i shouldn't be mean to him. why am i acting like this?' you thought to yourself

"ok, ill be over there if you need me," he threw his hands up in surrender.

you mumbled an ok and went back to distracting yourself with work. you were so invested in filing these cases you completely lost track of time and before you knew it, it was just you, Hotch, and Spencer left in the office. you vaguely remembered waving goodbye to your other coworkers but you didn't remember it being nearly 6pm.

"guys go home, you've done a lot today," Hotch said as he crossed the bullpen, making his way towards the glass doors.

"yeah i will i'm almost done," you answered, not looking up from my screen.

"good night, Hotch," Spencer called from the break room.

you stared at your screen, eyes burning. you did enough. you cant escape confronting your feelings much longer. you sighed as you began packing up.

as if on cue, Spencer walked out of the break room with two cups in his hands, steam rising from the both of them. your mood softened just a bit.

"here," he handed you your drink which he had filled with your favorite tea and sweetened just the way you like it.

"you didnt have to." you replied, setting down the warm cup as you finished packing up. he mirrored your movements, resting his satchel across his torso before picking his drink back up.

"i know." he answered simply, a gentle smiling resting on his lips before he took a sip of his own tea.

"im sorry for snapping at you earlier." you apologized, finally meeting his gaze. his eyes were soft and sweet and you felt a pang of guilt in your heart as they looked into your own.

"its ok. do you want to tell me why?" he asked, walking to the elevator with you.

"no. yes? i dont know. its stupid." you replied, looking down at the floor as you recounted your reason for my anger today.

"its not stupid." he spoke softly.

you scoffed lightly, "you dont even know what it is."

"so tell me."

"but its dumb!"

"y/n." he warned.

"my ex boyfriend, Ashton, is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with." you sighed, walking through the parking lot with Spencer.

"ah so Trashton put my favorite ray of sunshine in a bad mood." he joked, breath swirling around the cool air as he spoke

you let out a weary chuckle, "its not like i miss him or anything, i just wish i had someone! not him- i just- i want- ugh i don't know how to word this!" you grew frustrated, furrowing your eyebrows and balling your hands into fists.

you knew exactly how to word it.

you wanted Spencer.

"its ok, take all the time you need." he whispered, leaning on the hood of your car. you joined him, resting as you took a sip of your tea.

"why am i not good enough to be loved." you stated the question rather than asking it, eyes filling with tears.

"you are good enough and i promise you that you are loved more than you know." he affirmed gently, turning to face you.

"do you know why we broke up?" you asked, knowing if you acknowledged his previous comment you wouldn't be able to continue without sobbing.

"because he cheated on you." he answered confidently.

"no." you shook your head, fighting back tears.

"what? he didn't cheat on you?"

"he did. and i was going to forgive him for that."

Spencer started getting riled up, "what! why? you're worth more than that scumbag! you shouldn't ha-"

"Spencer just let me finish!" you cut him off. he went silent, chest rising and falling more rhythmically than it had seconds earlier. "he wanted me to chose. him or you."

"him or me?" he furrowed his eyebrows, voice much quieter now.

"mhm." you hummed not meeting his gaze, your cheeks redder than you'd like to admit.

"i don't understand." he breathed.

"he thought i was cheating on him with you. he had no proof and it w-"

"oh this is all my fault. y/n i'm so sorry!"

"no! spence its not your fault!" you grabbed his arm to reassure him.

"it is! your boyfriend broke up with you because of me! and now you're sad and lonely and its all my fault!" he cried, looking worriedly into your eyes.

"first of all, i broke it off with him, he just gave the ultimatum. secondly, you did me a favor."

"how?"

"by showing me who i was really dating. a cheating, insecure scumbag who was quick to replace me when i left."

"i guess thats true."

"and id pick you over him any day." you admitted, looking back down at the ground. he nudged your shoulder playfully and you cracked a sad smile

"im sorry i made you sad and lonely."

"you didnt. id be sad and lonely anyway."

"why? you would still have a boyfriend if it wasn't for me."

"i don't want a boyfriend if it isn't you."

shit. shit.

the words toppled out of your mouth before you could stop them.

"what?" he asked, wide eyes and looking a little shocked. spencer was sure in that very moment that if he heard you correctly hed simply explode.

"i- no this was a bad idea. i just ruined everything didnt i!" you were speaking more to yourself, exasperated at your own stupidity.

"no," you felt him place a finger to your chin and lift your gaze to meet his, "im glad you said it because now i can admit it."

"admit what?"

"that im completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you."

"spencer dont play with my heart like this. are you being serious?"

"yes. i am." he said with a strange confidence than you had never heard before. hesitant but sure.

"oh thats so lucky because i am completely and utterly, wholeheartedly and hopelessly in love with you too." you admitted, feeling about 100 pounds lighter, like you could fly. he pulled you into a bone crushing hug which you eagerly accepted. "i should talk about my feelings more often."

he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, "yes you should."

world littlest taglist:

@mac99martin

[octaviustheoctopus]

This blog

Yes

I forgot other people also like this show I bring up at random moments

It’s got episodes on literally every subject so I find myself making connections to it very often lmao

Idk if the writers ran out of ideas or anything (yes) but who makes episodes about zombies and vampires in the early 20th century (and try to justify it within the time period) unless you've exhausted every other avenue-

(The zombies: a guy had been testing lobotomies on prisoners and marketing it as a solution to society (basically eugenics aka not good (like human rights violations not good)))

(The vampire: a guy was,, basically grooming schoolgirls? And making them give blood to his son who had [a blood illness] (it’s been a while I don’t remember the specifics))

I swear I might make a list of all the random subjects they chose for each episode (golfing, stamp collectors, cricket, football (soccer), the first planes, underwater trains, early electricity, and nuns, to name a few- also that Christmas special that was,,, smth lmao- (themes: the magic of Xmas or smth and also a mythical creature Bigfoot situation lmao- plus that one scene at the end where the evil capitalist man sees children asking him to be generous and suddenly decides that, - even though for the whole movie this hasn’t touched him in any way and without any character development shown that would explain such a change, - he wants to actually be nice to the kids and ✨restores the magic of Christmas✨ or something)

Lmao it’s something

It’s kind of bad but I say this affectionately

(Also if you think im wrong about any of this I would be curious to know why so feel free to disagree and to tell me so 👍 + it’s been a while since I’ve watched the episodes I’m mentioning so I could be remembering things wrong- if I’ve misconstrued stuff, also feel free to tell me 👍👍)

(I wrote a rly long text post then my phone died. Just learned drafts are a thing (my noob is showing) but I didn’t make one so I’m retyping what I remember T-T)

TL;DR: Murdoch Mysteries whack

Ok bye now thanks for reading hope you had/are having a nice day :P

[sokka-with-his-hair-down]

Modern au where the Gaang runs a homeless queer youth centre. Iroh gives them work at the Jasmine Dragon, Katara gives inspiring speeches and makes the kids feel loved, Sokka and Zuko run the show. Idk, maybe Suki teaches them about safe sex that because schools neglect (same) sex Ed?? Ty Lee totally handles fundraisers and whatnot, Toph gives advice on how to deal with unaccepting parents, etc.

Aaahhhh I had to retype all of this bc tumblr hates me but oh well!!

Aang plans dances, movie nights, game nights, etc. he loves parties, so he’s in charge of planning them! He also has a list of foods people are allergic to/can’t eat for religious purposes bc he’s a sweetheart who cares abt people individually 💕

Katara is amazing and gives great speeches and advice. She’s the supportive mother these kids never had, ‘nuff said (we already know that Katara is just,,, the BEST)

I love the idea that Suki teaches sex ed for queer kids!! We all know the school system sucks and neglects to teach kids about safe sex for queer couples bc tHe OnLy ThiNg tHaT maTtErS iS nOt geTtiNG pREgnANt.

Suki always makes it a very comfortable and educational experience

Toph is fantastic to go to for advice on unaccepting parents and building relationships/friendships with non-toxic ppl who support you.

I love the idea of Ty Lee doing fundraisers! Also, Mai eventually comes along and even though she’s not great with the youth, she wants to help so she makes signs/advertises. Ty Lee loves her so much 💕

I also love the idea that Zuko and Sokka founded the youth center. Here’s my idea on how that went down:

Zuko was kicked out at age sixteen for being gay (he’d been in an abusive household for his whole life though—hence the scar, which was now three years old).

His phone was taken and he was living on the streets so he had no way to contact his uncle for a while.

When he finally did get in contact with him, Iroh was like “you’re living with me now and never going back to Ozai ever” so Zuko left his hometown to live with Iroh

He went to the Jasmine Dragon with his uncle every day (he didn’t work there though) and there was an awfully cute boy working there!

After some encouragement from Iroh, Zuko worked up the nerve to talk to him and whoopdeedoo, they fell in love!!

He and Sokka dated for a long time and eventually Zuko explained what his situation had been and why he went to live with Iroh.

He wanted to make a difference for kids like him so he and Sokka started the youth center! Their friends got involved and it turned into what it is today! Sokka and Zuko are engaged/married now :)

They’re pretty well renowned in their area and help tons of kids every year.

Iroh gives the kids jobs and since his tea shop is pretty popular, they get good, livable wages to help build futures for themselves :D

Thank you for the ask! I love this idea so much.

(Forgive any typos, this was super long so idk if I got them all lol)

[honeyyu]

Sold | Nct - 002

Summary: Cho Miso lives a difficult life, she works full time jobs to take care of her sick mom. One of those jobs being an secretary to the most rich man of seoul. As she tries to take care of everyhing, she goes looking for her dad who had left them for almost 5 years now. Coming into the life of her dad she was caught up by formal parties and events, her dad finally identifying her as his daughter. And before she could even realize, she was bought by a group powerful rich men who called themselves NCT to be their new secretary.

Masterlist

Genre: Smut (+slight angst?) and a little bit fluff

Warnings: None (only one swear word)

Word count: 2.4K

Notes: This chapter doesn’t contain any smut. I try to make this kinda like a real story that why I don’t go straight into the smut. Im sorry!! I think maybe in 2/3 chapters there will be some. Im just trying to introduce the nct members slowly. I hope this isn’t disappointing :/ Last thing, I think its Kims not Kim’s but Kim’s looks cooler idk why lol

The rest of the work day went by faster then I thought. None of the 3 Kim’s found out about the accident luckily. I did tell Tiffany, one of the personal assistants. She is also the one i’m close friends with, the one who gave the flowers I totally ruined. She could only laugh when I told her,” I already made copies of the most of them. So don’t worry about them finding out. I will email you the copies and you can retype the ones who aren’t there!” I couldn’t tell her how grateful I was. The most I could do for now was give her a big hug.

It was already passed workhours for me but at home I didn’t have access to a laptop or computer so I had to finish everything here. In the email Tiffany send me most of the papers were there, I mean the copies. I went through the now dried papers and got rid of the ones Tifanny copied. Now there were around twenty papers left for me to retype, and copy immediately before something would happen again.

All of the papers were about interviews or letters who needed to be send to other important companies. Before starting I looked at the clock on the wall behind Tiffany’s desk, who was out to get coffee for our bosses. The other two were busy moving from meeting to meeting together with the two other Kim’s.

The time on the clock was 4 pm. My mind wandered off for a second, thinking about what kind of food I should buy for dinner tonight. This job made me earn a fair amount of money. But most of it went to the debts we had to pay. And the hospital bills for my mom. This week she would stay with me until I had enough money to buy the hospital bills again.

“Ah I should really work on those papers.” I snapped myself back to reality upon seeing the papers I had to write before 6 because I would always have dinner at 6 with my mom but I didn’t know if I would make it this time. I was hoping on finishing a little before 6 so I could do some grocery shopping on my way home. As those thoughts ran through my mind I started working.

—

My eyes stayed focused on the screen as I was busy writing the last words of the letter. A loud sigh left my mouth when I grabbed the paper off the desk. Again, it was a letter. “From Mr. Kim To Mr Ch-“ I immediately stopped my sentence seeing the name on the paper. Mr Cho. It could be another man but I couldn’t let this go so easily. Was there an adress on it?

“Yes!” I jumped out of my chair with the paper in my hand. It would be unprofessional to ran out of the building and go to the adress. Not to forget I could lose my job if I did that. Only two papers to finish. With that mindset I typed the last papers in not more than 20 minutes.

My hands moved faster than normal. Computer off, papers in bag, chair under my desk, jacket on and card out. I didn’t have to tell anyone I was going. The 3 Kim’s couldn’t care more and Tifanny plus the other two girls were not at the office anymore.

The elevator was slower than usual. Or it was slower because I was excited to maybe find my dad again after five years. I didn’t really know the reason behind my excitement. He was the one who left us and he’s the source of our problems. Maybe I thought that if I would tell him how everything is with mom and me he would feel quilty and help us. Or maybe I just wanted answers to questions I had since the day he left us. And I knew that a small part of me wanted his money. I was embarrassed that I had these kind of thoughts but the money I wanted wouldn’t be for me, but for my mom. Every day she woke up she would look closer to death. Not that money was gonna fix the fact that she was ill or not but he could at least pay the hospital bills.

While making my way outside I looked up the adress on my phone. I was hoping badly that it wasn’t going to be a long route. My feet already gave up by seeing how long the walk was. At least one hour it said. Well if i walk my own speed it will be around forty minutes but still way too long for me to walk in heels. Only two decisions I could make. One, go home to change shoes, forget about dinner and just walk there or get a taxi. Option two it is then because I really didn’t have the time to walk.

Lucky for me a taxi just pulled to the side to let someone out of the car. Taking my chance I speed walked towards it. I was about to grab the doors handle but another hand reached for it faster. It was a young man. “Excuse me,” He muttered to me.

“Sorry sir, I was about to get into the taxi actually.” I politely said, trying not to make a scene. He blankly looked me in the eyes,” I never take a taxi so it’s really important. Now if you will excuse me, I have more urgent things to do then chit chat.” A breath came out of my mouth, sounding like a scoff. I didn’t mean to do that but he was being selfish. Like I had nothing better to do then talk to him,” Well I have something urgent to do too.” I replied but he already stepped into the vehicle.

“We can share!” He looked at me unamused. It didn’t look like he would consider sharing so I looked around for another orange car. To my suprise he left the door open and shuffled to the left to make space for me. I made a ninety degrees bow to thank him before stepping in. “Thank you. My name is Cho Miso.” I thanked him once again. The reason why I introduced myself was also a question to me. Maybe I was trying to be social. He looked at me once I introduced myself. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but he closed them again and looked outside.

Feeling a little hit awkward I gave the taxi driver the adress by showing letter.” You work there?” He asked me while typing the adress into the device,” Not really. I have to talk to the CEO of the building.” His eyebrows furrowed. That must’ve sounded really weird. “Ah, I mean I have a meeting. I work in that building,” I explained him while pointing to the building right outside the window. He nodded and asked the man next to me where he was heading. “The NCT building.” Both heads of me and the driver turned to stare at him in shock. Did he work there?

“Now you say it. I saw you on the news today! You are Kim Dongyoung!” Kim Dongyoung? Is he one of the CEO’s? Now that the driver said that, he was wearing a very expensive suit I recognized from the other CEO’s I often see in the building. I could never really understand people who paid so much for a pair of cothing but if you have the money I guess.

I missed the reaction of the man next to me but the driver started driving. He probably just nodded or ignored like how he did with me. My eyes somehow stayed glued to him. He had black hair, by what I could see long legs, beautiful brown eyes, nice lips. By the last thought I shook my head and whipped my head away from him. God what has gotten into me.

All I did for the rest of the ride was look outside the window, too embarrassed to even look at him. He also, was staring outside. Slowly the car came to halt. That wasn’t a long ride at all. Expected since its a car of course. I laughed a little by my own thoughts but quickly stopped when I saw Kim Dongyoung looking at me.

“Here is your stop miss.” I opened the door saying thank you at the same time. About to walk away I stopped myself, I have to pay. The device showed the amount of won I had to pay so I gave the man half of the bills I had in my wallet, hoping it was enough because I had to get a ride home too. “Have a nice meeting!” He flashed me a smile. I happily smiled back and pushed the door closed. Fortunately I saved myself some drama for later.

A loud sigh left my mouth as I looked at the big building infront of me. How do I even get in without getting stopped by the security. Taking a big risk I walked in. I was wearing office clothing so that was a good thing but I didn’t have an card to access. How was I gonna do this?

As aspected a muscular man stopped me,” You can’t go in miss” Quick think of something Miso! Thats right, I had the letter that had to be delivered here,” I have a meeting with Mr Cho? The letter with all of the information didn’t arrive in time so I came here personally to explain it.” I explained trying not to stutter too much and stretched out my arm with the paper in it so he could see. His eyes went over the paper. He nodded, believing my lie. Then he stepped backwards for me to enter, at the same time bowing.

I bowed back automatically and made my way to the elevator. It looked similar to the ones we had in our building. Made from glass and the floor of gold making it look chic and luxury. If this was my dads company he was very rich. While waiting for the elevator to arrive I thought about how he would look. What do I say. Should I introduce myself or hug him? Nah, he definitely know its me when he sees me so no need to introduce.

Ding! The elevator behind me made a sound, signaling it was open. I nearly ran into it, eager to meet my dad if this was his building. The glass elevator was filled with people in suit, golden watches and expensive bags. I felt a little out of place but that wasn’t important right now. Not sure what floor I had to stop at I waited till I reached the top of the building. Most of the time the important people like the CEO were on the top floor.

And I was right. When I reached top floor it looked alsmost exactly like the floor I worked at in the 3 Kim’s building. A receptionist, waiting room, conference rooms and the CEO’s office I could see way back behind everything with the name Mr Cho on a again golden name plate attached in the door. After examining I walked up to the girl behind the reception.

“Good evening, I have something to discuss with Mr Cho?” I couldn’t tell her I had a meeting because she could search it up on her computer and I would get send away. “Im sorry miss but Mr Cho is in a meeting at the moment. Would you like to wait?” Oh a meeting? Meeting always take a long time but if I had the luck that it was indeed my dad I was gonna meet then it wouldn’t hurt for me to wait a little while. “Yes I will wait, thank you.” With that I walked up to the seats where you were supposed to wait.

—

I’ve been here, waiting, for almost thirty minutes now and I was losing my patient. I was even so close to losing it that I wanted to walk into that conference room and yell at him for being so slow. Of course I couldn’t do that so my only option was waiting.

Tired of sitting in a chair for the whole time, I got up to get something to drink. When I arrived here I saw a water tap almost next to the CEO’s office.

Filling my cup, I looked around once again. The office walls of Mr Cho were from glass making it easy for me to take a glance of it. There wasn’t much interesting though. His desk was placed by the wall on the left. Infront of the desk a couple couches with a coffee table in the middle. Just like regular CEO offices that I’ve seen in my life.

But something catched my eye. There were three framed pictures on his desk, facing the couches. I couldn’t see them clearly so I walked a couple steps closer to the office.

The cup almost fell out of my hand. It was my dad on the pictures but not only him. Next to him there was a woman, around my moms age maybe younger and two kids, one boy and one girl who looked atleast five years younger than me. This was his new family. Otherwise he wouldn’t have three pictures with them on his desk.

I couldn’t accept the fact that he moved on from his first family. Harshly I threw the cup of water into the garbage can nearby me and I left the building with my hands clenced into a fist. Tears threatened to fall but he wasn’t worth it. He was living a perfect life with a perfect new family and money enough to take care of thousands people like my mom and me. He was so fucking selfish!

I took a taxi back to my house. The whole ride I looked outside the window with a furious expression. Probably making the driver uncomfortable because he turned up the radio so it wouldn’t be all silence. Arriving at the house I gave him the rest of the money I had in my wallet and he drove off after.

Grabbing my keys to enter the house my phone rang. The number on the screen didn’t ring any bell but I still anwered thinking that it maybe was someone from work who needed me.“Hello?” I asked into the phone, waiting for an answer on the other side.

“I heard you’ve been looking for me.”

<- Previous | Next ->

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Billie

Edie: You’re not at home, are you?

Billie: Why?

Edie: ‘cos Rih has to babysit and you are the last phone a friend that needs to be eliminated 👾

Billie: 💀🔋 if anyone but you is asking

Edie: that’s the 👻

Edie: Even convinced Jun to get the fuck out

Billie: with what 👻? 👽 ?👾 🤡 ?🎃 🤖? madness

Edie: 👻 ish

Edie: there’s some exhibit at some museum, idk, it actually wasn’t my idea so I can’t take cred

Billie: 🦖 🦴 🦕 was next guess

Billie: safe that the 👻 🔮 came through with a plan

Edie: 👽 more like

Edie: that’s the best I can do with emojis anyway

Billie: 💬 💬 💬 💬

Edie: I met the most perfect boy

Billie: Dude not you catching a dose too 🚱

Edie: I’ve gone outside of the gene pool so it is not the same thing at all

Billie: 👍 start

Billie: Go on, what else has he got going for him?

Edie: Only everything

Edie: he’s perfect, I just said

Edie: You know that really tall, ridiculously good-looking boy in Rih’s year

Billie: 🤨 💭 ?

Billie: it’ll come to me

Billie: Aha! The one who [some rave story she’s heard of something wild he did]

Edie: I don’t know how you didn’t just KNOW but yeah

Edie: that sounds like him 🤩

Billie: he’s been working at ⛽️ [the location of said petrol station like whatever road it’s on] nights I’ve gone in

Edie: That’s good to know

Edie: I can go in too now

Edie: 💡

Billie: 👻

Edie: It’s so weird how we met actually

Edie: the thread has 90k people on it, what are the chances, how does that happen

Billie: spooky how many posts you could’ve missed before, weird if he ain’t wrote any til today & then replied to yours 🔮 🛸 🧲

Edie: He’s deffo been on there before, I recognised the username

Edie: but he mentioned somewhere in Dublin so then I knew he was at least from around here

Edie: I’d have never talked to him before, it’s deffo fate

Billie: fated if he agreed the monster was a copout reveal

Edie: He’s not 12, so duh

Edie: He’s so cool

Billie: It’s defs him?

Edie: Come on, like I’m gonna get catfished

Billie: this is wild odds, all I’m saying

Edie: It would be weirder if they worked out where I went to School, and then picked some boy who also went to that School to use

Edie: anyway, he’s sent me stuff today so I know it’s really him

Billie: he does look like someone to use for 🎣 but I can picture him on that thread loads

Edie: 🤤🤤🤤

Edie: Do you think he’ll come see me

Billie: yeah, why not

Edie: Aforementioned hotness, he could get ANY girl

Edie: I don’t know who he has gone out with before

Edie: didn’t he go out with one of Rih’s friends for a while?

Billie: [a pause while she has a convo with her friends about this because she has many and they’re mostly lads so at least some of them must know him or have some info]

Billie: Last seen with Lexie but that was time ago & nobody since

Edie: Hmm

Edie: I’m nothing like Lexie

Billie: he ain’t still with her & wasn’t for long, I’d assume he’s looking for different

Edie: and that’s me 🥴

Edie: charming 😏

Billie: 👽

Billie: She hasn’t said anything ☢️⚠️ I’m hearing now, that’s chill

Edie: she’s a bitch anyway, I wouldn’t trust her

Billie: if Blips is accurate on his timeline, even she couldn’t be that much of a bitch

Edie: ?

Billie: Everything with his sister was fresh then, apparently

Edie: Oh

Edie: I remember her, she had a nice smile

Billie: I don’t think I ever met her, it’s gone out my head if I did

Billie: the memorial he made for her is sicker than anything the teachers would’ve though, we hang there constantly

Billie: Take this info with 🧂 yeah? the source is Blips

Edie: She was a lot older

Edie: would’ve been, your paths probably didn’t cross

Edie: makes sense

Edie: he would’ve wanted someone around

Billie: makes sense he’s not thinking straight to pick Lexie to be that someone, but idk man, you can have your fill of pity quick enough

Edie: Maybe someone in her family died? I can see that and making that connection

Edie: not a sibling obviously or we’d know but she’s pretty dramatic, like all Rih’s friends are

Billie: not above milking a dead nan, bet

Edie: 💭 exactly

Edie: Poor Liam, that’s kinda fucking gross

Billie: bad taste in my mouth from being the messenger

Edie: I won’t say it was ages ago because that’d feel a bit like spitting on her grave but you know

Edie: fuck Lizzie or whatever her name is

Edie: she’s probably had 100 lads since then

Billie: Yeah, fuck Lizzie

Billie: what’s next for you & him?

Edie: I don’t know

Edie: I sort of asked him to come ‘round but not just like that

Edie: so his answer was as open-ended, I guess

Edie: I really hope he does though

Billie: he doesn’t know you’re unshockable & didn’t wanna freak you out by coming through the window on a real dark & stormy night

Billie: tracks if Lexie is his point of ref, she’s known for saying what she don’t mean

Edie: ugh, she’s really fucked that up for me

Edie: I should go cockblock her too

Edie: that’s a good idea actually

Billie: You could roll up if he’s working, let him know you’re not alike

Edie: If I roll up on her, he will 😈

Billie: 😶 cos idk how he rolls

Edie: You think he’ll be 😱 / 🤬

Billie: He could think you’re jealous, which would put you looking like her 🤡

Billie: lads always go to that headspace

Edie: most lads

Edie: like your mates who can’t spell their own names without checking with their ma first

Edie: I don’t think he’s like that

Billie: I’ll bite, what’s he like?

Edie: emojis weren’t covering it but I dunno if I even can with actual words either

Edie: he’s like no one else I’ve ever spoken to, I wasn’t bored, and he wasn’t weirded out

Billie: You weren’t even a bit bored?

Edie: nah

Edie: I felt like I was barely keeping up

Billie: 🤯

Edie: but he wasn’t trying to be impressive how lads do, because that isn’t

Billie: he was waiting for whatever he sent to impress you, which worked

Edie: he sent me lots of stuff

Edie: not 🍆 pics

Billie: he looks like he’d be a fuckboy

Edie: right?

Edie: he’s got too much about him though

Edie: I would’ve gone with it if he wanted, he had the chance

Billie: 🤯🤯

Edie: come on

Edie: you can see him

Billie: & I can hear you, you don’t say this kinda shit about anyone

Edie: I know, I’m deadly serious

Edie: 💀💀💀

Billie: What a day

Edie: Don’t tell anyone else yet though

Edie: I think he feels it too

Edie: but just in case

Billie: 🤐

Billie: he blatantly does, but that’s up to yous two to broadcast if you want, how you want

Billie: I’m just excited for the reveal 🎟 🍿 📺 🕹 📷 💻 📼 💿

Edie: He makes films too

Edie: and I’m writing a song right now

Billie: link me

Edie: [do, at least the ones that are clearly not private or whatever]

Edie: 😍

Billie: Cool, I’m gonna check these while you go 😈 on Lexie

Edie: If you hear her scream, no you didn’t

Edie: 😘✌️

Billie: not her 🩸 🦷 🦴 got it

Edie: only partly

Edie: she’s only 3rd on my shit-list, after-all

Billie: if I give you away with a new tic, no I didn’t & they’ll never convict 🤪✌️

Edie: so lucky you can shout ableism if it comes down to it

Edie: ADHD is an excuse for nothing except maybe being five minutes late 🙄

Billie: I’m not going for that with a free pass to shout out at the law 🐷 🐽 🐖 🥓

Edie: you can brag about your free pass, I only get caught when I want to ☠️✊

Billie: not a humble brag you can throw out to your new man, going off these locations I’m recognising, he’s got skills at never getting caught

Billie: How’d he get into [somewhere he should not be]?!

Edie: that’d be telling 🤫

Edie: I told you, he’s really smart

Billie: How didn’t we have a clue about him pretty much?

Edie: because he looks like a fuckboy, I suppose

Edie: you know Rih is gonna act like he’s a decade older than me because she thinks she’s so mature

Billie: 🙄

Edie: I can’t wait to call her out on her bullshit again with something new to add

Edie: can’t wait for the opposition like she’s got a leg left

Billie: She’ll run out fast, he’s cool

Edie: She’s not

Edie: but whatever, she can’t do anything

Billie: No chill, but he’s barely older, so if that’s her only 🔫

Edie: and he went out with Lexie ages ago, well, basically

Edie: she can’t act like she’s really good friends with him, I KNOW she isn’t

Billie: & she wasn’t in Lexie face not to go out with him, couldn’t cos there’s nothing wrong with him 🤷🏼‍♀️

Edie: you act like she’s rational but yeah

Edie: I don’t care, I know this is right

Edie: and what I want

Billie: She’s not, like, irrational enough to be hating on your happiness

Edie: I hate on hers

Billie: that’s different

Edie: not to her

Billie: Yeah but in terms of you & Liam

Edie: If she tries to be nice that’ll be even worse 😷

Billie: minding her own business isn’t gonna happen

Edie: I wish she’d keep hers to herself

Edie: I can’t stand it when he’s here

Edie: I’ll kill Lizzie and steal her bed

Billie: least you can stay at his soon

Edie: 😋

Billie: [frames of one of the videos cos the location is some end of summer event, why not] & you’ll be there together this year

Edie: You really think?

Billie: I don’t think you’ll be dumped quicker than Lexie

Edie: Damn fucking right

Edie: even if he was after one thing, I could do it better than her

Billie: [deletes that message like I don’t wanna read about your sexcapades thank you]

Billie: 🎧 🔊

Edie: [retypes it more vividly which I won’t subject you to lmao]

Billie: NAH

Edie: 😂😂😂

Edie: you’re alright, I’ve got another level to my mission now

Edie: [deets of the scavenger hunt thing]

Billie: Did he sort it for you?

Edie: Yep 😍

Billie: this lad

Billie: unreal

Edie: I think I’m in love

Billie: Someone offer to make him for you in a lab? getting sus otherwise

Edie: That would make sense

Edie: he’s way too perfect

Edie: not that I’m mad

Billie: 🏩 💕 💐 🧸 💞

Edie: 💍💒👶

Billie: [deletes that like calm down lol]

Edie: 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 maybe

Billie: When’s the [some meteor shower or comet that’d feel very fated and cosmic and therefore we must]? invite him to that first

Edie: 🛸

Edie: I just need to think of a way to tell him where and when

Billie: You’ll be looking up for it, makes sense if he has to 👀⬆️ to find out

Billie: I’d put something on his roof

Edie: About the only place he’d genuinely have to look up to see

Edie: might be less literal

Edie: 💻

Billie: that’ll work too

Edie: plus if you reckon he’ll think I’m mental for hitting up Linda, finding out where he lives without asking will really tip it

Billie: romantic gestures are mental, less of a public ambush than most are

Edie: Everything fun is

Billie: Yeah, but nothing’s fun about getting asked out in the hallway between lessons or whatever 💩 is meant to pass for 😍

Edie: Well yeah, that’s too American teen drama for words

Edie: are his friends gonna be standing there pissing themselves at you believing it even for a sec

Billie: if it’s me his mates are stood about meowing cos some tics refuse to 💀

Edie: That’s cute

Edie: at least you aren’t saying some embarrassing untrue shit

Billie: my true form is 🐱 🐈 & I’m saying the truest shit since 👶🏼 🧒🏼

Edie: I know enough not to throw out suggestions for your head to grab but I’ve seen people saying wild things that you’d get eaten alive for

Edie: but duh, how else did we end up with you

Billie: I know not to watch that shit & maybe 🐦 it but yeah, love to my non-verbals 😝 😜 🤪 ✌️ 🖕 👍

Billie: & to ma for never meeting a stray she didn’t love

Edie: I’ll wait ‘til you wrong me ‘fore I add you to the shit list and send ‘em your way

Edie: tRIGgeRd ❗️❗️❗️❗️

Edie: 💗

Billie: Well I ain’t gonna develop a convenient new 👊 one OR pull a Lexie & wheel out my dead relative to steal your bf 💚

Edie: Ha, don’t

Billie: wouldn’t know what to do with him after using him as a 🛹 ramp & 🚴🏼‍♀️ jump

Edie: I’m the only one allowed to jump him tah

Billie: 😷

Edie: Okay I need to focus on this last one

Edie: see you at home

Billie: k

Billie: see you soon 🏴‍☠️

[aro-culture-is]

hello! i just have some thoughts on stuff you said a couple days ago, feel free to disagree (or not even answer this). i’m super curious how you feel about this! you said 'I wouldn’t say “ suggesting aroace as a label was inherently SAM because it specifies sexual and romantic orientation” so much as explicitly saying so, but yes.' i understand what you mean but i don't know if i totally agree? i would say i primarily identify as aro ace... (1/? this is gonna take ages, my biggest apologies)

and i understand that using both aro and ace is very different than identifying as just one (and like you said, using both inherently subscribes to the sam). but at the same time my experiencing ‘neither sexual nor romantic attraction’ doesn’t feel ‘neither sexual nor romantic’ it is all one thing to me. like i hate framing aspec identities in terms of a ‘lack’ but to fully explain what i’m trying to say: i don’t feel a separate ‘lack’ of romantic and sexual attraction, it is all one ‘lack.' (2)

maybe something to help explain is while i use the term ‘aro ace’ for myself i mostly just refer to myself as aspec? like i like having a term that does not require me to separate out attraction into two different types or align myself with one side of the sam. the fact that i don’t consider myself to fall on the a-spectrum (or, i’m on one end of it) means this isn’t my core identity label (if asked i say my identity is ‘aro ace’ for specificity’s sake) but most of the time i just use aspec. (3)

like in my mind i can kinda envision 3 axes of non-sam identities: ace-only, aro-only, and general lack-of-attraction only?  aroace is what i have because of the sam and it’s the one i use generally but if there were a term that described this third axis that did not use the sam that’s the one i would use (again, aspec does the job here!  and maybe aspec is the answer for me). (4)

and maybe that is not non-sam enough and i’m missing the spirit of adopting a non-sam label!  perhaps the point is one aspect of the sam overriding the importance of the other ‘part’ of the sam label and having a way of specifying a general lack of attraction is too rooted in the ideas of sam for it to truly be a non-sam identity. (5)

also idk where to put this sentence but not to mention that people who might fall under the ‘aro ace’ identity tend to face pushback from people who do subscribe to the sam (usually for just identifying as ace, which is perceived as (and often criticized for) misrepresenting the ace identity/community). (6)

anyway this was all over the place (+ super long) but your post got me thinking about this and i’m super interested in your thoughts! feel free to decide i’m a pretentious asshole and disregard me entirely- i don’t even necessarily think i’m ‘right’, this is just me musing on how non-sam identities interact with the aroace identity. and as a non-sam aro i’m sure you’ve spent tons of time thinking about non-sam stuff so there’s probably lots here that’s missing the mark a bit. anyway thanks!(7/7)

bold line here so people know where my reply is lol

RIP me I typed out a reply and then tumblr suddenly decided me pressing backspace = go back a page. time to retype it all!

i understand that using both aro and ace is very different than identifying as just one (and like you said, using both inherently subscribes to the sam)

yes! I forget if I remembered to include it at the beginning of all this (like, the ask before the one you’re describing? I think? or maybe the one before that?) but I at least intended to include a note that I was excluding this position for simplicity. I didn’t feel comfortable trying to explain what an identity that I only knew of in theory might feel like. I super didn’t want to overstep and try to place y’all without seeing the personal piece.

i can kinda envision 3 axes of non-sam identities: ace-only, aro-only, and general lack-of-attraction only?  aroace is what i have because of the sam and it’s the one i use generally but if there were a term that described this third axis that did not use the sam that’s the one i would use

sounds right to me, overall. admittedly, having a different term than “aromantic” is the only reason I use the phrasing “non-SAM” aro usually, and while other terms exist this one hits better than the others to me and has more of a history. I’d describe more of my emotions on that, but tbh emotions are hard and I’d rather not right now. (and oh can I hear that Therapist “Hmm” noise right now, the one always followed by “and why do you think that is?”)

people who might fall under the ‘aro ace’ identity tend to face pushback from people who do subscribe to the sam (usually for just identifying as ace, which is perceived as (and often criticized for) misrepresenting the ace identity/community)

:/ that’s shitty. when I first joined aspec tumblr, I wouldn’t hesitate to say at all that the two IDs I saw the most rep for was aroaces and non-sam aces, though it was typically just phrased as asexual. this was, perhaps, very late 2012 into early 2013? but in fall of 2014 the exclus attacked and tbh I see more of the aspec community and queer community holding onto some of their takes than I have the energy to deal with. this definitely sounds like one of those holdovers (ie, they attacked for using and not using the SAM because they just didn’t want any aspec people at all; 100% could see the non-SAM attacks sticking more because this was also when I saw the boom of people using the SAM for alloace IDs)

this is just me musing on how non-sam identities interact with the aroace identity.

it’s a pretty solid musing, I can say that at least. I wouldn’t feel comfortable labeling it as a non-SAM ID for everyone who feels like aroace/aspec/no attractoin as a single ID fits them best, but I can definitely see your feelings about being non-SAM feeling similar to mine.

as a non-sam aro i’m sure you’ve spent tons of time thinking about non-sam stuff 

*nervous laughter*

but really though I struggle to describe my feelings so debates or discussions like this are most of my time spent thinking about non-sam stuff. I’m just in the position of being a “well-known” non-sam aro right now, and I try to answer things to the best of my ability. there’s not much of a community to get agreements or disagreements from so... I just do as I’ve always done. I just do my best to be honest with what I know and don’t know, what my thoughts and feelings are, and where I’m coming from. I don’t claim to be an expert in my identity so much as shouting into the void in hopes that the void will shout back.

fyi though that I’m also @just-aro for non-sam aro related things and some of my more general (non-submission) content.

[i-wish-my-grades-were-miraculous]

Why the hecc

Couldn’t Mari break up with Adrien in private, explaining what his dad told her? Or over the phone? Idk, just in private!!! I wish they could have talked the whole thing out, it might have stopped Mari from feeling upset enough for an akuma

Also, what if after that break up they dated in secret

OR

Mari found out Adrien was Chat Noir so Mari and Adrien didn’t date, but Ladybug and Chat Noir are

AHHH THE POSSIBILITIES WHERE THIS COULD HAVE WORKED OUT WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THE LOVE SQUARE ROMANCE THEY DESERVE

On a (slightly) unrelated note, I officially give up on Gabriel and Nathalie. I had some hope, deep, DEEP down, that he could stop this whole thing and start doing right by his son and/or she could come to her senses and realize this whole thing is insane and either turn against him and/or try to convince him to stop. Like, idk about giving them a redemption, but at least choosing to stop and start doing the right thing CAUSE GODDAMN YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO GROW AND CHANGE AND MAKE YOUR FAMILY RIGHT, A WOMAN WHO LOVES YOU A SON THATS NEEDS YOU, THE ONLY THING THAT RUINED THIS FAMILY IS YOU GABRIEL YOURE THROWING AWAY YOUR FUTURE HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK ADRIEN WOULD FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS, AFTER THE PRICE YOULL HAVE TO PAY(this sounds too agressive but I’m too lazy to retype it with capslock)(also Idk what emilie is like and if she would never forgive Gabriel for this whole thing as well or she wouldn’t care)

There are pieces of the puzzle missing about everything with Emilie and idk how much my perspective will change when we get those puzzle pieces, but I have given up, Gabriel is a piece of shit and Nathalie disappoints me

[misguided-matchmaker]

Pass the happy! When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the most recent people in your notifications! 💕

Okay, so idk if this is meant to be specific things or just general things but I’m sorting most of these into categories because why not.

In no particular order:

1. Stories (absorption). Discovering new books, comics, or podcasts; reading friends’ Google Docs that take longer to load each time they’re opened. I like visiting other worlds, other times, other writing voices. I like being scared of things that can’t hurt me.

2. Stories (creation). Writing—I like writing. Not having written, although that’s pretty nice too. I like the magic of an idea that takes its first tentative steps onto a blank document, then begins to chase the cursor across the page and sometimes it zips along by itself and sometimes it has to be dragged painfully out of your fingers, typing and erasing and retyping until it’s decent (or until you forget what words are—whichever comes first.) I like the twists and turns and improvisation that happens sometimes and I like sitting back after it’s done and thinking wow, that didn’t end how I expected.

3. Music (both). The quiet bops and beautiful sunsets, the strange lyrics, the terrible stuff I listened to that got me through early high school, those songs and albums that ache with nostalgia. I live for that one change of chords or that thing their voice does that just makes me want to melt into it. I like using the damper pedal to make notes sound like water, or seeing if I can play a passage so softly it hurts.

4. Daydreaming.

5. Long hugs.

---

I hope anyone reading this has a lovely day/night. It’s been a challenge for me too, but please take care of yourself. I wish you the absolute best. <3

[chocoluckchipz]

Dance with Me, Chaton - 4

Read it on A03, WattPad, FF.net

Written for @ladynoirjuly2019

< Previous

4. Babysitting

Chat Noir: Okay, so, if we’re doing this we’ve got to give everyone a code name.

Ladybug: We already have them. Chat Noir and Ladybug?

Chat Noir: But what about M Agreste?

Ladybug: Why does he need one? We can call him The Boss.

Chat Noir: Too obvious.

Ladybug: What’s wrong with that?

Chat Noir: Nothing unless someone hacks us? We'll be in huge trouble.

Ladybug: :thinking: Won't they see us giving the codenames in the first place?

Chat Noir: We’ll delete these messages.

Ladybug: I feel like it’s easier to agree than argue OTL

Chat Noir: You’ve got it, my Lady.

Ladybug: Okay fine. Let’s do Hawk.

Chat Noir: Hawk? O_o Why?

Ladybug: Because hawks symbolize creativity, wisdom and determination. M Agreste is a hawk.

Chat Noir: Pfft. No? He’s more like a moth. Cooped up in his room all day with fabrics around him.

Ladybug: Hawk.

Chat Noir: Moth.

Ladybug: Listen. If anyone will hack us it’s better to have a more noble code name for him. Just in case.

Chat Noir: And I’ll take full responsibility but he’s a moth.

Ladybug: And you’re stubborn. Okay, fine. Let’s combine them. Mothy Hawk?

Chat Noir: Hawky Moth? LOL

Ladybug: LOL Nope. Hawkmoth? Or Mothhawk?

Chat Noir: LMAO Let’s go with Hawkmoth. It sounds more evil.

Ladybug: Hawkmoth it is then.

Ladybug: So, what do you propose we do? How do we convince them to do something about those designs?

Chat Noir: :thinking: Tbh, I haven’t really thought about any strategies yet. Let’s see what’s realistic at this point at first. I get it that there is no time for creating new designs?

Ladybug: Nope. With a month left till the big show? No way.

Chat Noir: What about pulling them?

Ladybug: We’ll lose at least 10 out of 15 outfits from that line. Not really an option either.

Chat Noir: So, fixing the existing once?

Ladybug: That’s the only way I see it.

Chat Noir: So let’s do this. We’ll sketch the existing designs sans the abomination and present it to him and idk maybe a survey of the company’s employees on which version they prefer? To show him that people hate his “innovations.”

Ladybug: Yeah. Only the issue is no one has access to the full collection apart from Hawkmoth himself. Multiple designers worked on that line over a few months and even they don't know which outfits made the final cut and which didn't. You know how Hawkmoth likes to keep his lines as much a secret as possible to prevent the leaks?

Chat Noir: I admire your adaptability, my Lady ;3 Using the code names already.

Ladybug: LOL I won’t admit that I retyped that message a few times because I kept writing his real name XD

Chat Noir: Still impressive, Okay so we need access to his collection. Suppose we’ll get it. What’s then? I can’t really draw.

Ladybug: Then you’re lucky I can. But I really don’t see how we can get them. Rumours say he keeps everything on his work computer under the state-of-the-art security system.

Chat Noir: Oh shoot. I have to go, my Lady. Let’s think about it and chat later?

Ladybug: Sure. My cue, as well. Thanks for doing this, Chat.

Chat Noir: My purrleasure.

Adrien put the phone away as he noticed Kagami approaching. She was typing something on her cellphone but as soon as she caught him in her side vision, Kagami smiled and waved.

He smiled. Not so subtle, are we, Ladybug?“Good morning, Mlle Tsurugi.”

“Call me Kagami.” The girl smiled at him, putting her cellphone away. “I thought we’ve been over that yesterday.”

“Yes, we’ve been.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I haven't gotten used to this yet.”

She chuckled. “You’re socially awkward, Adrien. That’s adorable, but we’ll need to work on that. A future leader of such a company as Gabriel needs to exude confidence.”

“Right.” Adrien straightened subconsciously. “I’ll work on that.”

“Should we go then?”

“Your shadow for the next few days is ready.”

Kagami smiled, her eyebrow arched. “Good. Because I have quite a few things to show you today.”

And so, Adrien’s mission to confirm that Kagami Tsurugi was the mysterious Ladybug had started. It fitted splendidly. She was fierce and brave and wouldn’t take nonsense from anyone, including his father. Though, with him, she’d held back, expressing her opinion in a polite but confident way. Although he couldn’t confirm her drawing abilities, mentioned in this morning’s chat, that didn’t dishearten Adrien. He’d find a way to do so later without bringing unwanted attention to himself. He couldn’t risk her learning his identity now, not when they’d only just started their conspiracy online.

***

Chat Noir: I hope your day was enjoyable, My Lady.

Ladybug: More or less. Had a lot of work and babysitting to do.

Chat Noir: Babysitting? At Gabriel? Or you skipped work?

Ladybug: LOL. Nope. Babysitting at work. I had a tail following me everywhere today. An intern to educate.

Adrien bit on his lip. Universities had just ended their school year, and Gabriel had a lot of interns following many of his regular employees. It could’ve been anyone. Or Ladybug must be being smart and calling him an intern, so she could still mention her troubles without revealing her identity.

Chat Noir: Were they annoying? It doesn’t sound like you’ve enjoyed the experience calling it babysitting.

Ladybug: XD No they were fine. It’s just a term we’re using for interns. “Babies” because they have no idea what they are in for. And as such, having an intern is babysitting.

Chat Noir: LOL Fitting. So? Do you have any ideas regarding our project?

Ladybug: Sadly no. I’ve thought of showing crazy designs vs regular ones to a third-party and ask their opinion and then show the results to Hawkmoth, but that’ll be leaking the designs. We’ll get fired immediately.

Chat Noir: Didn’t we discuss surveying the company? Not a third-party?

Ladybug: I don’t see how anyone’s opinion inside Gabriel can convince him to change his mind. Someone Hawkmoth admires has to tell him and we all work for him. Not exactly that admiring.

Chat Noir: Well, then we’re thinking more. Say, Ladybug, can I ask you a question?

Ladybug: Shoot, but be quick cause I’m about to call it a day.

Chat Noir: Got it :3 I was wondering what got you to change your mind and go for this? Trying to convince Hawkmoth again.

She took her time to reply, but when she did, Adrien straightened in his seat.

Ladybug: Do you remember how I told you Adrien Agreste was a stuck up antisocial prick?

Chat Noir: Clearly.

Ladybug: Well. Happens I was wrong about him, so I thought if I was wrong about him, I might be wrong about his father not be willing to listen and change.

Adrien huffed and typed.

Chat Noir: Oh, you were right about Gabriel Agreste. Let me assure you. He’s pretty unchangeable and doesn’t like to listen. Believe me. Talking from personal experience.

Ladybug: That’s a pity.

Chat Noir: But he can bargain.

Ladybug: That’s something. The hope lives on ;)

Chat Noir: Let’s hope so, but may I ask what made you change your opinion on younger Agreste?

Ladybug: I guess, meeting him myself. I might have previously formed my opinion on his character based on rumours, the fact that his BFF was Chloe Bourgeois and he dated Lila Rossi. I mean what sane person would hang around those ladies?

Chat Noir: You know the Lila rumours are false, right?

Ladybug: They are?

Chat Noir: Completely. I’ve heard him say himself. In fact, it quite surprised him to hear them. He’d met Lila just yesterday, and it wasn’t anything he’d love to repeat.

Ladybug: But he’s still friends with Chloe?

Chat Noir: Yeah, but only because he wasn’t allowed to attend a public school, and she was the only one around. Though I’ve heard they are not as close now as they used to, and he’s got normal friends in his university.

Ladybug: You know quite a lot about him, don’t you?

Chat Noir: Side-effects of working close to his father. Nothing unusual.

Ladybug: Right. XD Well, I’m glad he's a decent person. He seemed to be. Anyway. I have to go now, Chat. Goodnight.

Chat Noir: Goodnight my Lady.

I’ll see you tomorrow, he whispered into the silence of his room.

_______________________________________________________________________

Next >

[bigbangsmasher]

@camelliacried​

What’s the best way to approach this situation? Why isn’t there a greeting card for “sorry I vanished, hope you’re doing okay?” How come, after twenty minutes of agonizing over it, has Makoto not even thought of what her first word in the message should be?

To: tsubaki y. (bff!)

> |

The vertical bar flashes in and out of existence as Makoto tosses the phone on her bed. This is a wholly new situation, so how would anyone go about this? Maybe she’s overthinking it, maybe all it will take is a simple “I’m back!” and everything will be fine. After all, they both would know it wasn’t her fault, right?

> hey sorry its been so long idk what happened but im back now

No, no, no, delete that, because it doesn’t actually capture what Makoto wants to say. She feels awful that she left her friend alone in this city, she wants to apologize and assure Tsubaki that it won’t happen again, she wants to say that she would rather they die together in this city than for only her to see freedom.

> Tsubaki I am so sorry I was gone, I would die for you jsyk

No, that’s even worse somehow. 

“Stupid, stupid,” mumbles Makoto, pacing back and forth in her room as she types and deletes and retypes and re-deletes messages. Nothing fits the ephemeral message in her head that refuses to actualize. If the roles were switched, Tsubaki wouldn’t have this problem, she would just send a hand-written letter with a wax seal and Makoto wouldn’t even be mad.

> hey tsubaki i am w

What even comes after the ‘w?’ Makoto doesn’t even have a word in mind, and this is all so dang frustrating that she isn’t even mad when she stops pacing because an idea occurs to her.

“Why don’t I just call her? Duh!” Makoto laughs to herself. Here she was, about to give herself a migraine over piecing together the perfect text when the solution is right in her hand. All she has to do is close the app and-

> Sent!

Oh shit. Oh shit. Of course it had to be the ‘w’ one. That was the one she had to accidentally send! She’s gotta do something, and fast.

> omg i'm sorry, i didn’t mean to send that > (－‸ლ) > also hi i guess i’m back now > do you want to grab lunch? we can catch up and stuff > my treat (p^-^)p

The beating of her heart finally slows as she rereads what she’s sent. Tsubaki won’t be mad, she’ll be happy Makoto is back. She was just worried because... well, who knows? This is good enough.

But it doesn’t stop her from watching the other text bubble with wide eyes.

[slipmethevicxdin]

(started writing this @) 3 am paranoid post

i think we just had another small earthquake about 10 minutes ago and jesus christ i hope it was because i really hope that can explain what just freaked me the fuck out

i haven't been able to sleep but i finally started getting tired around 3 so I put my phone down and just tried to sleep. after a few minutes is when i heard (what Im hoping was) the earthquake. of course stuff shakes so i saw the motion light from our front yard turn on, which i assumed was from the flag in front of it moving since ive seen it happen before so i didn't thing anything of it. we have a really shitty wooden bench on our front porch than i can't see from my bedroom window and i heard it creaking which again i assumed was from the earthquake. but then after it was over i still kept hearing it creak. i was like idk maybe it's just still shaking but then it started to sound like someone that was sitting on it was moving around?? im not the paranoid type and ive never thought that someone was breaking in so idfk i don't normally ever jump to that if i hear noises so i started to freak tf out because i always have my window open and the lights were off so i was like wtf if there's someone outside (the porch is right in front of my room, bench is only like 10 ft away from my window) they'd have to be really close to my window. i turned my bedroom light on because idfk i was just freaked out and i didn't close my window because i was freaked out about being heard??? why??? IDK??? i shut off my light pretty fast, idk why. i kinda just sat on my bed trying to look out the window and i swear i was still hearing creaking. i don't wake my parents up for any reason in the middle of the night and haven't since i was pretty young but i was like what the fUCK do i do if someone's actually there?? the number one reason i was freaking out was because i had already taken my contacts off and i literally can't see without them, therefore being TOO GOD DAMNED BLIND to find my fucking glasses because i don't remember where they were but i felt like i really needed to get up and check all the locks around the house so i went to the bathroom and just picked a random pair that's way stronger than my prescription so I've got fucked up vision on the opposite end of that spectrum and like??? NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE BUT I'VE NEVER FELT THIS KIND OF SCARED BEFORE SO I WAS JUST DOING STUPID SHIT WITHOUT THINKING. like there's no way anyone could get into our house without me knowing because we have an alarm system so any windows or doors will beep if opened but i just was super paranoid so i just looked around but didn't see anything. i really felt like l needed to go outside and check the front porch but 1. im unarmed and 2. im at least 1 foot and 30lbs smaller than most people and currently visually impaired so im vulnerable af (size isn't something that actually intimidates me, I've gone toe to toe with someone legitimately 3x my size but not being able to see kinda counts far against me) but idk i just had to calm myself down. ive never freaked out for no reason over something like that because small noises don't startle me but the way it sounded 100% sounded like human activity to me. my brother is a security guard so i wanted to wake him up but if i was just being paranoid i didn't wanna risk waking up our puppy because we're trying to get her used to being alone & sleeping alone so if i wake her up she'll cry/scream.

i definitely can't sleep now so i set my lamp to the nightlight setting and turned my tv on so I'll just keep them going til i eventually fall asleep. i have to get up at 7:30 to take my mom to work since her car is with the mechanic and then i have to get ready to get my car smog checked and then head out to pomona to take my grandma to get an x-ray

s h i t dude why right now

this was super complicated to type out because my nails have grown out so much that it makes it so hard to type and ive had to retype like every other word. i got my nails done a while ago and i have to go get them removed so i can't really do it myself. so sorry if this makes even less sense because of words

why am i up stressed at (now) 4am. let a bitch sleep

[kippentrash]

Tonight I made 2 of my friends watch some Andi Mack

Friend 1 had watched season 1 now and then when it was live but thought it was too cringey for her taste and Friend 2 basically never watches Disney Channel. Friend 1 I had talked to about TJ and Tyrus because she was one of the few who had SEEN the show.

I was talking to Friend 1 all week about the gun control plot and the episode and she said she kinda wanted to watch JUST s3e6 even without context. Friend 2 just… was on a dcord call with us so I roped him in too LOL. So of course I did a rabbit with them.

After the ep I showed them certain select scenes too. This is just some of their reaction highlights.

Keep in mind Friend 1 only knew about TJ and Tyrus through me and a few other things through me and has seen some episodes from s1 and has basic knowledge about the characters and plot while Friend 2 has never even seen Andi Mack period. Highlights under the cut. It’s really long bc tbh they were all just priceless.

@recap: Friend 1: Okay I see why you call Tyrus cute. Friend 2: Wait are they a ship Friend 1: Yes

@hole in wall: Friend 2: wait what the

@13 years:  Friend 2: hollup 13 years?? Friend 1: *gives rundown of shows entire synopsis* Friend 2: oh ok. Wait what?

@cookie: Friend 1: who carries around a roast chicken Friend 2: i would

@hallway scene: Friend 2: ok they’re definitely a ship Friend 1: that’s so flirty Friend 2: how is that not a ship? Me: RIGHT??

@jonah and buffy: Friend 2: “i like your jacket” that’s me. i’d try that with *our other friend*  Friend 1: wait did i miss something are they a ship Me: no but buffy likes another guy andi kinda dated but not jonah as far as i know. Some people think it’s a ship but i like it as a brotp Friend 1: i missed a lot Me: yup

@metcalf: Friend 1: I remember him I didn’t like him Me: I LOVE HIM “wait we changed the dress code”

@no skateboarding Friend 2: Holding it leads to skateboarding? What type of logic is that? That’s like saying me holding my knife leads to stabbing Me: What Friend 1: What Friend 2: I mean what

@cookie’s cookies: Friend 2: god i wish that were me Me: mood

@dirtbiking Friend 1: WAIT NO HE’S GONNA GET HURT Me: Considering he broke his finger trying to skateboard that’s a valid concern Friend 1: HE’S DEFINITELY GONNA BREAK A BONE Friend 2: Wait how do you break your finger skateboarding

@reed Me: HE SOUNDS HIGH DOESN’T HE? TELL ME HE DOESN’T SOUND HIGH Friend 1: I can see it Friend 2: That’s me and *group of friends* after we play badminton and get mcdonalds! We’re not high we just sound high! Me: no you guys are definitely high Friend 2: Touche

@dirtbike setup: Friend 1: ship Friend 2: yeah definitely a ship Me: YEP

@shoe Friend 1: how did he lose his shoe Friend 2: on brand? Me: don’t question it

@lovies Friend 2: god i wish that were me times 2

@skateboard shop Friend 2: docious magocious?? Me: I miss it Friend 2: what??

@tattoos: *metcalf turns around* Friend 2: wait why does he look familiar Me: That’s the principal Friend 2: god i wish i had a principal like that Friend 1: i still don’t like him

@buffy and jonah leaving Friend 2: *vine imitation* WHY ARE YOU RUNNING

@gun plot Friend 2: wait GUNS?? ON DISNEY CHANNEL??? Friend 1: she wouldn’t shut up about this plot all week Me: I’M SO PROUD OF THIS SHOW

@babie bowie pic Friend 1: aw thats so cute Friend 2: eating dog food same Me: what Friend 2: what

@end of ep Friend 2: next time on dragon ball z *next time on andi mack* Friend 2: wait this is actually next time on dragon ball z

So then I showed them a bunch of specific clips of Andi Mack 

@tyrus 17 minute compilation: @swings: Friend 1: he better start pushing him *TJ gets off and starts pushing him* Both: *SCREAMING* Friend 1: OKAY ITS A VALID SHIP IF HE DIDN’T PUSH HIM I’D SAY IT WAS JUST SEEING THINGS THIS IS CANON *by the end of the compilation* Friend 2: tyrus or death Me: yes. Friend 1: I kinda want to get back into this show just for Tyrus Me: DO IT

@cyrus coming out to buffy Friend 1: WAIT IM CRYING WHAT HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE Me: IDK HOW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE ITS LIKE THE MOST ICONIC THING IN THE SHOW Friend 1: I KNEW HE WAS GAY AND I KNEW ABOUT THE LOOKBACK I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THIS Friend 2: wait so he’s canonically gay? Me: YES Friend 2: so tyrus actually has a chance of being canon Me: im like 98% sure tyrus is gonna be canon

@cyrus coming out to andi Friend 2: rip took her a second

@candle wax Friend 1: DON’T SMUDGE IT WAIT NO Me: why wouldn’t you wait for it to dry Friend 2: they just scraped into the wall Friend 1: oh this is what you’ve been repeating this whole time Me: I’m just a boy. Standing in front of a wall. Friend 2: Trying to cover it with toothpaste

@cyrus dancing: Friend 2: that’s me Me: fun fact his actor was actually thrown into this without any idea of what the choreography was Friend 1: omg rip Me: and of the main 3 he’s the only one who’s not a trained dancer Friend 2: that’s definitely me

I think that was all there was I’m so sad it got deleted and spent a good 30 minutes trying to retype it out and not miss anything bc this was amazing.