#idk who wants to do this or not so if you want and wasn't tagged just go ahead and feel tagged (and @ me)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
iv. ekko x gn!black!reader hcs
a/n: they got me yall.
sorry for whoever followed me for tlou content we'll be having a brief intermission i'll come back to them in a minute js let me get this out my system 😭🙏🏾
warnings/tags: no use of y/n, no mention of reader's features (except for being black, but it's only in a few points 🤷🏾♀️ so it can be read otherwise), arcane s2 spoilers (minor), sfw and nsfw hcs, (oral sex, kinks, riding), in some au where everyone is happy and nothing bad ever happened 😊, never proofread we ball 🔥
______________________________________________
sfw:
- i feel like ekko is a bit shy (awkward shy though, not shy-shy...does that make sense) when you first get into a relationship with him, and it's just because he's shocked that he's managed to get with you. at first he's stumbling over words, playing off your compliments, desperately trying to keep eye contact with you but if he does he just keeps smiling because you look so good.
-one time, while riding past you on his hoverboard, you waved at him. he waved back, but even as you walked away his eyes kept following you. if it wasn't for scar warning him at the last second, he would've crashed straight into a wall.
- his cockiness comes later into your relationship, every successful action he does followed by a grin that you roll your eyes at.
-and did y'all see the way he looked at powder in ep. 7? his puppy dog eyes are LETHAL.
-he doesn't even know it either. every time he wants something, he just looks at you with those eyes and murmurs "please, ☆?" you fold so quick.
-(you've tried to learn to resist his eyes as they are what caused you to sprain your ankle in a hoverboarding accident since he begged you to race him. he just wanted to show off, too. he didn't stop apologizing for weeks.)
-he usually doesn't really like people touching his hair. he's fine with the kids doing it from time to time, but in general it's not his favorite thing in the world.
-you, however
-you get a pass because you get it. you know how it feels for your hair to just be like a petting zoo from time to time. you know exactly how to help him care for his hair, so much so that he's stopped doing his own retwists. (not like they stay in for very long, you immediately help him sweat it out 😊)
-he's made a lot of random little things for you, like a small chain necklace with an empty locket. he kind of sucks at wrapping gifts though, so he just handed it to you with a stupid smile while you two were perched at the top of the firelight tree.
-"ekko, this is so cute," you mutter, your bottom lip jutted out in adoration as you inspect the delicately crafted chain. small mistakes here and there, but you loved it.
-he also learned how to sew just so he could make you a bonnet/durag. he even sewed a crude little "e" in the corner of it, and made himself one with your initial in it as well.
-will randomly shadow box you out of no where. it's some form of cuteness aggression or something, because you'll be talking about your day while absent-mindedly twiddling with the hem of your shirt, and suddenly there are fists flying towards you that he knows to never let connect.
-"...ekko, the fuck are you doing?"
-he makes small noises that sound like "shoo" every time his fist flies, watching you stare at him with an unimpressed look.
-saw someone else say this but yeah ekko can't hoop. sorry
-he CANNOT hide his facial expressions. he may tell you one thing, but his face will never lie. if you're out eating and you feed him a bite of your food, you can watch his face contort into one of disgust, so much so that he almost looks offended. upon realizing that he doesn't want to yuck your yum, he'll fix his face into the fakest smile you've ever seen and nod.
-"...ekko, go spit it out."
-you've never seen him reach for a napkin any quicker.
-idk who the arcane universe's michael jackson is but, when he was younger he absolutely learned all the dances.
-probably the biggest softie the world has ever seen. he's very tough in public, but once he closes the door behind you two and climbs into bed with you, he's clinging onto you like a sloth.
-if you like painting your nails, he'll (hesitantly) allow you to paint his nails to match yours.
-(these next few ones are sliiightly for me 🤭)
-loves when you draw on his arms.
-until he can't get whatever marker you used off of his skin in the shower, so now he's walking around looking like a coloring book with little flowers, hearts, and signatures on his arms.
-he hangs up all the drawings you make of him up along his work space. sometimes he forgets one and leaves it on his desk, so it's a pleasant surprise to find a drawing of himself among scattered and disorganized papers while he was cleaning up.
-has gotten used to you randomly biting him. you'll come up behind him while he's working, and he already knows it's coming when you rest your chin on his exposed shoulder. 2 seconds later, your teeth are sinking into his skin. he just chuckles, but he does ask once.
-"why do you do that?"
-"oh, i dunno. i just like doing it. 's how you know i like you."
nsfw (very brief i'm sorry):
-praise kink. you couldn't tell me otherwise
-loves giving praise, loves receiving praise.
-when he's giving you head, he almost does it for his own pleasure. feeling your hand rub against his undercut while you whine and mutter "fuuuck, ekko, you're so good. don't stop please" is all he needs
-and i'm glad we've all agreed he's a thigh guy too 🙌🏾
-and IK we say this about every fictional man but HE WHIMPERS.
-he starts off with groans and grunts, but the closer he gets, the more his voice starts to shake and his words start to become whines.
-he looooves when you ride him holy shit
-looking up at you while your face contorts in pleasure is absolutely on his top 10.
-and if you stare into his eyes while you do it? his soul has left thanks!
-in general he loves eye contact. when you look up at him with his length between your lips, you can see his brain start to short-circuit.
-he's definitely the type to make sure you finish first before he even gets to think about his own pleasure.
-he's usually super sleepy afterwards too, but he refuses to lay down for a second until he makes sure you're all cleaned up and comfortable before he's out cold on your chest.
______________________________________________
118 notes
·
View notes
Text
shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
158 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Mandalorian oc, Jaemi (she/her), a badass armorer, but also a complete goof who can't talk to pretty women without getting flustered (good thing she has a helmet, ig).
Jaemi is Mandalorian Nightsister? Idk how else to describe it. She was taken away by pirates at a young age as a sort of peace offering, and she wasn't really wanted anyway because she couldn't seem to grasp magic nor had any interest in it. I forgot what age she was, but it was young. Anyway, some Mandos ran into the pirates and ended up coming across Jaemi and adopted her, to make the story short. Jaemi is fully aware that she is from Dathomir, though she does not remember anything about it from when she was a child. So she shows her respect for her heritage through her facial tattoos inspired by the Nightsisters, and designed her armor to resemble their clothing as well.
Drawn: June 6, 2023.
#omensarttag#omensoldart#i did not really intend on posting this ngl. but here i am and here she is. i feel bad that i dont share more of her story or personality#but im also kind of lazy and have sm writing on her and so im going to say that ill do anyone who reads this a favor and spare you all the#annoying details that i have in my notes/timeline for my sw ocs#digital art#star wars#artwork#artists on tumblr#clone wars#nightsister oc#mandalorian oc#mandalorian armor#star wars oc#sw oc#star wars fan character#this was in my queues but then i moved it to my drafts bc i wasn't sure if i wanted to post it at all... but now im posting it anyway.#i miss being into star wars ngl :((#fan character#idk whether to tag oc or fc bc truthfully i feel like fc makes more sense as a way to differentiate my ocs from my original stories from m#ocs from stuff that i obvi did not make lol#maybe i should make a separate tag for fan characters#omensocs
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
my tags wasn't enough, i had more than 30 tags worth of things to say about worldbuilding and food (feel free to read said tags in past reblog, aka it's this post's "previous tags" which hopefully you know the process to get to that) but i will restrain myself of truly babbling as much as i really want — for instead the following:
i will repeat that worldbuilding = culture, and culture = food, what are meals here, how many meals are here, where do the ingredients come from, how does seasons impact what you can eat, what do they eat for birthdays, etc + clothes, what silhouettes and types of fashion are here, where do they get these outfits' materials (livestock? plants? dyes?), what special occasion outfits are there or is there any regalia to occupation/type of dancing/age/etc, how do outfits change with seasons + so on and so forth
here is a great youtuber who has a playlist analyzing world-building, and it can include things like food. my favorite video from this playlist is for the show "Ascendance of a Bookworm" (yes, the playlist is linked as part of this video btw) which does specifically go into food (as do other videos within said 10-video-long playlist. another video within the playlist is "Dungeon Meshi" which is very much about food). please watch as much of the playlist as you like! another video of his about worldbuilding, that is not in this playlist, is about "Castle In The Sky"'s worldbuilding as shown in that intro-instrumental bit of the film specifically (a movie my brain farted and called "Nausicaä: Valley Of The Wind" in my tags before, iGNORE THAT)
and here is another great youtuber. his entire channel is largely about "how to write" and various aspects of worldbuilding. but i do want to mention that this conversation is biased towards Hard Worldbuilding, evidentally, and he has some videos that are in support of softer worldbuilding too (which, my memory could be off, but i dont think he gets into food often? but an example of Soft Worldbuilding and food would be how idk how the fuck Chihiro/the spirits has access to food in "Spirited Away", they just kind of begin and end with a vague ✨️magic food✨️ vibe about how these are meals for the dead, but the soft worldbuilding there not including how they source this food is not bad worldbuilding at all). it's best, in terms of mind-set, to have different types of worldbuilding for different projects in my opinion
In Defense of Soft Magic Systems
Hard Worldbuilding vs. Soft Worldbuilding | A Study of Studio Ghibli
and this is in regards to stories outside of fantasy period-pieces as well. like, "Coraline" for example is VERY fascinating to analyze in respects to food. both what Coraline eats, what the Other Mother eats (or rather doesn't eat), what the Other Father eats (he is starving, always), what foods are available to who and when; and that is a story that takes place in modern-day and has some pretty restrained fantasty elements as part of the Other Mother's powers and whatnot
but even things like "this character never cooks, only orders out or eats other people's homemade food or eats leftovers" can say a lot about the individual (doesn't take good care of themself, or doesn't have the time or energy to, may have been neglected as a child from learning this life-skill, could be a lot of reasons why they can't cook), even if the character themself is from a culture that has a rich history with food
i will admit some cultures have a more restrained history with food, like Indigenous Americans' intertribal culture (which, hi, hello, i am one such Indigenous American) has a semi-strained, semi-loving relationship with frybread. bc it's not a "cultural"-food, it's a survival food. it's a food that was invented bc people were starving, forced into bottlenecks of limited, unfamiliar ingredients due to us being forced into reservations and militant forces not allowing us access to trade for other ingredients on these lands that yielded poor crops and limited to no livestock. as a result, frybread is super unhealthy. (though some Indigenous American chefs have worked to make healthier varieties now) but also frybread is a cheap, easy food to make that celebrates that we survived a time when people tried to kill us via starvation, but it also is a symbol of said starvation attempt as it was a food that was only created to help its people survive rather than as an expression of culture. hence, a relationship with a piece of food that is semi-strained, semi-loving. so that is an irl example of how food can be a cultural yet not-cultural yet also a history-informing item
so, if you want to read me praising the fuck out of Hard Worldbuilding including meals and how the implications even of something as simple as "this culture eats lots of beef" can be unfolded, read my past reblog's notes. but also, Studio Ghibli does really Soft Worldbuilding masterfully, and also mentions food here and there throughout their films, while not always explaining where it comes from (i think "Howl's Moving Castle" is one such example, as Sophie goes to a market to buy food for said moving castle's residents at one point. but, again, where the spirits import food (besides pigs, i guess) into the bathhouse for its workers, guests, and Chihiro to eat is beyond me). and neither worldbuilding method is superior than the other, i just have more to say about the One That Inherently Requires More Self-Questioning than the other, evidently. but food is an excellent way to show, not only culture (or survival) within said worldbuilding, but an individual's personality (eg. the Can't Cook aforementioned example), relationships (eg. aforementioned "Coraline" example), or emotional state (eg. in "Spirited Away", when Chihiro cries while eating her food because it's the first moment she has been able to safely process what has been happening to her, and the food tastes so good and was a kind gift, and she us just so overwhelmed and sad), and so much more
i think, overall, it is best to have stuff match. as in, if you have a hard magic-system, then you probably should map out and source your food in similar levels of detail for your own reference, even if it may never show in the narrative, just so you can be consistent. and then, if you have a soft magic-system, it'd be wise to have a similarly soft worldbuilding relationship with food. your audience expects hard worldbuilding with hard magic-system, and soft worldbuilding with soft magic-systems. i cant think off the top of my head of any examples where we get a juxtaposition of hard/soft that ends up with a well-polished story audiences love. and if you dont have a magic-system for the worldbuilding to reflect, then have the worldbuilding reflect similarly to what your story does examine. like, "Pulp Fiction" is soft towards what is in the suitcase, and similarly has a soft worldbuilding and explatory attitude towards its cast of characters, and it's also pretty soft about what the characters eat and drink being sourced from where (the most famous is probably the coffee lol), which fits as it's in contemporary LA and you assume most food there comes from similar places as your food does irl but no one knows for sure, but there's still an interesting relationship to food to follow within this film and whatnot
edit: i finally thought of a story that does a mix of Hard as well as Soft Worldbuilding, and luckily enough the example includes food in its story and that would be "Over The Garden Wall" (spoilers ahead). it has a ridiculously heavy amount of research put into it, from the fashion and architecture to the very doorknobs, and it does both explain and not explain its world as the Unknown is both real and not as it was a type of limbo of "Dante's Inferno" that Greg and Wirt experienced when they were almost drowned to death. it is the only story i can think of where arguably what happened within it was "just a dream" yet that ending doesn't make people unhappy this time around; i think because there is a real feeling of "they could've died if they didn't escape the Unknown, so the stakes were real, they had an arc, this story still matters". and, to me, i think the Hard Worldbuilding is the reality within the world— like the fashions, doorknobs, Wirt and Greg's hometown, as we later see evidence of characters in the Unknown having tombstones and the like in the Wirt and Greg's hometown, there is pieces of reality that carried over beyond death and into the Unknown— whereas the Soft Worldbuilding was the fantastical elements, like the anthromorphic animals, Adelaide's magic, the bluejay curse, the Beast, the pumpkins and skeletons, the lantern, and so on that do not have a real-life equivalent. and one thing that does have a real life equivalent is food, almost all the food in this show is real, even if i wouldnt personally wish potatoes and molasses on my worst enemy. i'll sooner slurp a turtle, like the dog and Auntie Whispers. but also Endicott's food and the tavern food looks so good. but, yeah, we really don't know anything about where these real-life meals are sourced other than that they are real foods you could theoretically make yourself (like Endicott is not eating mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, and some kind of sliced meat like ham), but the one fantasy meal that is those turtles has soooo much mystery surrounding them that it is nigh-infamous how much the creator dodges questions about those lil turts lol so!! if you do want to mix Hard and Soft Worldbuilding, just do so thoughtfully and have there be a consistent and clear line. for OTGW, that's putting a ton of hard-research into real-life, historic equivalents within the Unknown to Wirt and Greg's hometown juxtaposed with extremely soft fantasy elements of the Unknown unexplained as there is no magical equivalent in Wirt and Greg's hometown. consistency, consistency, indeed lol
anyway, hope the free resources help ✌️ thanks for letting me yap about why you should let your characters eat and also maybe pay attention to what they eat lol
Is this anything
253 notes
·
View notes
Text
questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
The worst thing about suffering is that it still hurts when the danger is over but no one cares about it anymore because it shouldn't hurt. No one will ever say "I'm sorry that happened to you" especially when they barely say "I'm sorry that's happening."
#Okay to tb btw all the personal stuff is in the tags#Like. Not eating for a week because you couldn't get groceries hurts#and people will say 'oof sorry that's happening' but then#after you're able to get food no one will ever say 'I'm sorry that happened' even though you think about it and hurt from it constantly.#No one will ever say ':( that must have been so hard' because you're fine now right???? No psychological damage there?????#This example is stupid but I do think about it every time I feel hungry. I told people I wasn't able to get groceries#and there was no food in my house. And they said. Oof.#Instead of idk Oh God Are You Okay ??#No one cares when you've been abused your entire life and behave the way you do out of genuine terror because your brain is fucked forever#They don't say 'I'm sorry that happened it must have been really scary to turn you into Such An Asshole. I pity you like a dog :('#Speaking of man everyone loves fucked up abused terrified dogs and wants to be the one who makes them open up#And shows them that people can be good and kind and that touch doesn't have to hurt#But everyone is scared of fucked up abused terrified people#Humans are capable of harm even more than dogs and fear is understandable but.#Can you please call me good boy and shush me and tell me nothing's going to hurt me and let me curl up on your lap#And not hit me if I get scared and start to growl and feed me good and take me on walks and play with me#Even though I'm not very fun to play with and I'm still learning what's fun and what's mean and what's a toy and what's a hand#Plleeeaaase don't be jealous of a dog that doesn't eat good don't say 'tch he's so thin what am I doing wrong'#I want to eat good and grow and gain fat and be warm and be comfortable I don't want this#Don't say 'if abused dogs don't eat good then I don't deserve to either' no no no no eat good so you can take care of us both#Please please please I learned so many tricks to make people happy and call me smart but I don't actually know how to do anything I'm#Literally like such a stupid dog it takes me like one day of no one paying attention to me for me to become un-housebroken#I make a lot of mistakes even though I know better or I really should know better#And sometimes do things wrong on purpose to get attention either yelling or showing me how to do it right#But most of the time I genuinely don't know how to do stuff because I was never taught or I was taught and#My previous owners said 'this is how it is. It is this way because it is and it is forever. The answer is Because.'#'now quit asking repetitive questions before I pop you'#If I do something Because and not know the reason why I'm doing it that's not learning that's acting#Especially habits taught specifically to hurt me and not being allowed to question it or know why I'm being hurt#Oh my god I acted out so much when I was younger and all my friends were so disgusted and hurt by me and yelled at me every day
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.
"You're not thinking of the ___!"
"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."
#I really really hate it. It angers me in such a specific way that just skldjf ksdl#...#vent below. idk. I'm really sorry#Mad rambles#Terfs will be like “oh think of survivors! 'MEN' can share women's spaces!” like shut the actual fuck up. SHUT UP. Shut your damn mouth#A terf is so much more dangerous than a trans person. Me. a tiny cis woman is so much more dangerous to a terf than a transperson is.#Because I will obliterate you. How dare you say you speak on MY behalf? As if I don't know what I'm fucking talking about.#as if you're “protecting me” by spewing such bullshit? by treating someone as a danger when they're not?!#Especially when they believe it's a fucking TRUMP CARD. Like mentioning it means they're right!!! when obviously they're not!!!#Or when they think the fact that I'm cis will make me agree with them! I'm cis simply because I am. I'm not better or worse because of it#being cis doesn't mean I'm fine with bullshit though!#I really hate feeling almost as if like...idk I'm “known” for talking about this but it's just so so infuriating. people will act like they#know when they don't. Obviously every experience is different and terfs who are survivors I hope you find peace and my heart goes out to yo#but you also need to get your fucking head outta your ass. Saying such things isn't the way to heal and you're hurting others with it.#It's NOT about hating men or trans people! the “men are always violent/women are always victims” mentality needs to fuck off#as if it's just the script of life and that it's inescapable no matter what. that it's the truth even if circumstances say otherwise.#...I'm going to possibly block the epic tag for a bit. I have the name of the saga blocked but like... It's just genuinely upsetting.#my story got picked apart too on how it wasn't actually that bad. that I'm actually the fucking worst. “Men are just like that sweetie”#BULLSHIT!!! Gender doesn't dictate a person's morals. Being good and kind does. It doesn't matter what form that takes!#not even saying HE'S good and kind as he's horrible and wonderful at the same time but about this stuff? Do what you want but#I DO think you're insane if you see it as otherwise and it makes me wanna lock my door. You're not a bad person probably but also 🙃#I get that there's history but there's also the fucking TEXT.#I don't know. I'm really sorry#tw trauma#tw sa mention#I'm not necessarily against reblogging this (I don't care) but don't post with tags. please
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#tag talk#gonna talk about Dodie's music and why I like the lyrics and themes#she sings about being queer in a very vague way besides “Rainbow”. It feels very much more about relationship type rather than sexuality#“In the Middle” “I Kissed Someone (It Wasn't You)”. songs about wanting a different kind of relationship. feeling out of place because of i#dreams about people being okay with you wanting a different kind of romance or sex experience.#it's not “oh no ooouuu I'm gay” but a more subtle relationship style misfit. the closeted bi vibes. the poly forced to be monogamous vibes.#a kind of queer that gets overlooked because so many people assume that gay/lesbian people are still monogamous romantic who want to marry#“okay you can be gay but only as long as you aren't anything else queer.” you still have to find “the one” and settle down and get married#and if you want anything else then we demonize you again. we decide that this one thing is okay but everything else is still social devianc#idk. the sad loneliness vibes she catches are really good because it's not just lonely. it's being invisible while still being seen#there's people around you but you're still shut out. you're in a relationship but you still don't feel loved.#you're visible and yet they still never see you.#and I forgot to mention! the traffic idea of cheating. like. being pulled away from a relationship because it isn't for you#and knowing that you what you're doing isn't great but being unable to sit still in a bad situation.#we do not always escape situations well. or without causing harm to others. but we hurt others in our attempt to protect ourselves#especially clear in “I Kissed Someone”. like. when you're not happy with a situation but you opt for small hurt instead of catastrophic hurt#the fear of breaking up a relationship so you seek small escapes instead of destroying the prison you've built around yourself
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
DAN AND PHIL RETURN????????
#idk what I'm gonna do abt this /srs#like. I thought their videos were fun but that was 5 years ago so who knows about if I still will#and y'know obviously toxic community and annoying fans.#whatever I'll watch some and make a decision based on that I guess.#idc if they're cringe#well I mean. idc if it's cringe to watch them.#but Dan very much was leaning into that 'I'm a weirdo normal people scare me' thing that people who are only one degree removed from#normality do. so if he's leaned into that any more I don't think I'll be able to stand his 'I'm not a normie' normie ass. but I also know#he's been doing a lot of self-reflection and healing and whatever so maybe he'll be better now.#like he was so desperate to distance himself from who he used to be that he needed to make fun of everything he could have been perceived as#and make himself feel like he's better than people like that. everything from being 14 to being alternative to being a furry he needed to#make fun of all that cringe to prove that he wasn't that. y'know? he desperately wanted to be normal while still capitalizing on the 'I'm#different' thing. like his merch/clothing brand was all minimalist quirky-dark aesthetic for example. stuff you could 100% find in a big#chain store but seems just different enough for people who want to fit in but also look like they're cool and edgy and have unique opinions#like. he's the *woman in a pink tailored pantsuit* 'she's so butch!' of weird and alternative.#last I checked at least. like I said; I think he's been doing a lot of personal growth so maybe he's gotten more ok with actual weirdness.#man I didn't mean to rant in the tags here O_o sorry lol.#ThornShadow.said#(also for the record Phil is a little cringey but it's genuine so it's ok. as opposed to Dan trying to make everything 8 levels of ironic)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
#luly talks#not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into#something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes#but am i making sense anyway?#like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy#and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way#that's why he's so protective and shit#although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping#mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself)#bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed#shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be?#and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is#but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge?#but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice?#i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown#in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc#I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to#so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢#also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
STOP cause who was gonna tell me that i was genuinely actually not well my whole teenage years. how did i end up consistently hanging out with the most mentally ill people on planet earth so that i thought i was normal in comparison. "idk i just feel like being hit by a car would fix me. not to die or anything just to feel the impact and get like a physical reset :)" BRACKEN YOU WERE NOT NORMAL
#constantly deluding myself going 'oh it wasn't that bad' forgetting that suicidal ideation is a thing that is actually not good#walking to school thinking 'well i'm not gonna kill myself but everything would be so easy if i was dead. like if i just didn't exist' BABE#<— said smth along those lines to my little sibling once thinking it was totally normal and they looked Horrified. had to play it off sjkgh#the car thing was a repeated theme all through junior year though 😭#tf when you feel so disjointed and detached from your body and your mind feels so fucked that you fantasize about being hit by a car#bc it feels like it would fix you. hello#anyway. those chemicals were definitely unbalanced sdkfghsd#hm. have never mentallyill-posted before because i did not think i was mentally ill. how do i tag properly#</3#suicide tw#suicide cw#yeah??? idk. sorry anyone who sees this and did not want to#valentine notes
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ll be talking about the last post I reblogged in the tags of this post for the sake of the person I reblogged it from
#mud rambles#quick lil backstory for why. I follow him but he no longer follows me so I can have my privacy bc his partners are people ive cut off#he and i have how we interact figured out explicitly he's still my friend i care for him deeply what happened between his partners and i#didnt have anything to do with him. i let him know what happened. theyre not horrible ppl just bad friends to me#anyway#SO fucking ironic to see that on my dash from them specifically because his fucking girlfriend (my ex friend who was my roommate) would#CONSTANTLY compare me to her abusive father for! no goddamn reason!#it wasn't necessarily 1 to 1 comparison but she would bring him up OUT OF NOWHERE for example one time i was literally just listening to#metallica (fuck metallica but they were MY dad's fav band so i listen to them bc of nostalgia) and she just! was like#'you listen to dad bands. my dad likes metallica' o...kay???#and that wasnt the worst one. she would just. unprompted compare me to her dad. usually like that over things i liked but she once like.#vagued me to my face about how ~crazy and paranoid~ her dad is#NOT EVEN ONCE she brought up how paranoid he was A LOT and like. at the time i was trying to be a little more open abt my paranoia w her an#my ex best friend (her other partner) so like. idk. whether it was a vague at me or not i did not appreciate it#even MY partner brought up multiple times how it was fucking weird and she was lowkey comparing me to her fucking dad#KEEP IN MIND BTW I PERSONALLY moved her out of her home state and away from her dad to room with me and my partner#i dont remember a lot of the examples bc i want to block that shit out but. what the fuck woman#anyway i needed to talk abt this but like i said i dont wanna be vagueing my friends gf in the tags of a post i reblogged from him lmao#i can talk abt it on my own blog not there#and mandatory disclaimer please do not try to figure out who the people ive cut off are and also please leave them and their bf alone#like i said he's still my friend and i care about him#i just feel the need to say that bc. i trust the people who follow me to not go and do that but. just genuinely need to clear the air#i cut them off for a reason. i dont want any kind of contact with them even indirectly. and i dont want people harassing my friend#i specifically went out of my way when that shit went down to make sure he and i were still cool so dont fuck this up for me thanx!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't understand cave johnson likers the only comedic value his character brings is how awful he is and then it's like anyway here he is committing multiple atrocities lol and the half of you are like omg funny sillay guy
Not saying this in the you're a bad person for experiencing media wrong way but in it genuinely baffles me portal has so many funny silly characters and y'all are like "I like the blatantly evil millionaire CEO who murders innocent people for fun. I think it is very funny when he hates homeless people and uh fires people for being in wheelchairs."
#ask to tag#i know I should be tagging posts about this guy but i can't just do his name cause I refuse to subject myself to fandom blogs getting mad#at me for being correct and hot and cool and right#LIKE I'm no saying I wasn't laughing during his dialogue but ur supposed to be laughing AT HIM not WITH HIM#and like I fucking GUESS if you don't pay much attention to the dialogue or were like. idk. a child or something it's like hehe funny silly#but like the fact that there's people who pay attention and know the lore and understand that his character literally centers around being#a horrible bigot and y'all are like. hehehoho what a legend. what if we made content of him with his abuse victim for the funsies#ik every fandom has people like this but it's not even like. the proshitters and adjacent doing this so much of the fandom is like ah yes.#LIKE. AND I CAN GET PPL LIKING WHEATLEY DESPITE HIM BEING A MISOGYNIST LITTLE WEIRDO CAUSE AT LEAST HE HAS THE BENEFIT#OF BEING A FUNNY LOOKING ROBOT LIKE THAT'S JUST A CIRCLE I GET IT BUT C/VE IS JUST. A WHOLE ASS MAN ADHIFOGDIFG?#I literally do not get the appeal all he does is abuse his employees and yell a lot then die#like. that's just regular white dad behavior you want that I can invite u to my home/VLH#media cw#abuse tw
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
well that was some traumatic shit
#tw animal death#tw cat death#tw mention of death#tw mention of animal death#so my friends and i decided to go to a karaoke bar after leaving a Halloween party#and as I'm driving us there#i see a cat in the road trying to run across the street so i slow down to let it cross#but then some fucking asshole who was speeding did not slow down and hit the cat#and so immediately we start freaking out because that's not something you wanna see ever#and the cat is having a seizure in the middle if the road and one of my friends begs me to pull over so she can take the cat off the road#and so i do and she brings it yo the sidewalk and it was still alive when she had placed it gently on the ground#i knew the cat wasn't gonna survive as soon as the seizure had happened but my friend was trying her best to help it#but yeah the cat didn't have a collar so we weren't able to call the owner or anything and we couldn't tell if it was chipped or not#so we left a note next to the cat#hoping that someone would be able to find the owner and identify the cat but who knows if it'll happen#my friend who tried to rescue the cat had lost her first cat the same way#so i completely understand why she wanted to move it out of the street to avoid any more violence#tw seizure#tw animal seizure#tw hit and run#idk if these tags are ones that get blocked or not but it never hurts to tag it
1 note
·
View note