#idk what this is i'm so sorry
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Thinking about Daring and Lizzie. Thinking about Lizzie breaking up with him because he would never feel at home in Wonderland, and she would always feel guilty for it. Thinking about her choosing her people over her prince, her responsibility over her happiness. Thinking about her telling him that he has his siblings in Ever After, but she has no one, and vice versa. Thinking about Daring pleading with her to not let him go and her telling him that it will be for the best, that one day he'll find someone who will make him happier than she ever could. It's for the best.
Thinking about her seeing him a year later, standing hand in hand with a brunette and smiling ear to ear. Thinking about how she'd turn away from them and smile, happy for them even as her heart ripped open. Thinking about how he found someone who would let him be their world when she couldn't. Thinking about how she'd whisper,
"I told you so."
#idk what this is i'm so sorry#i've been writing these two in a fanfic of mine where they broke up and were in a secret relationship before#and rosabella ends up w daring#and i was thinking of how the events would all line up and this popped into my head#like i love dizzie angst so much u don't understand they could be so MISERABLE#ugh the brainrot anyway#ever after high#eah#daring charming#lizzie hearts#rosabella beauty#darabella#dizzie#dizzie and darabella fans stop foaming at the mouth to fight if we work together we could make such good stories!!!!!#RAHHHH#(this is not based on their canon relationship for the record it's for my fanfic)#<so no one say it's out of character pls its a headcanon
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kabru and mithrun's fun succubus adventure
#dunmeshi#really cool art i thought up#kabru of utaya#mithrun#dunmeshi spoilers#<- idk. anime watchers dont know who mithrun is or what he does so i think it needs a spoiler warning#labru#<- I GUESS..................#I'M SORRY For adding that stupid fucking figure i think it's really funny and i never want to see it again in my life#i don't think his succubus would show up as that thing i think hes more Complex than that it would just be funny#also mithrun's succubus might actually shapeshift who knows?? Thats not what this comic is about though. just My Funny Joke.
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I love the unhinged idea that if Mc is angry or dissapointed with the demons, that they would create a circle of salt around themselves and just stay in it
And no matter the immense combined powers that Diavolo, Barbatos, and the Brothers hold, they ain't getting past the salt circle no matter what they do
Salt is the most powerful thing in the Devildom, confirmed
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me!#obey me mc#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me brothers#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#Obey me demons#Sorry about the lack of posts#Pretty sure I'm suffering creators block#i'll try to post more#But we'll see how well that goes#obey me random#idk what else to tag#I feel so brain dead
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#polls#bullying#tumblr polls#poll#idk what the fuck to tags things as ever shrug#basically i was super super suspicious of anyone who ever asked me out by the time i got into high school#simply because it had happened so many times before#i just assumed no one would ever want to date me for real and that i was so comically disgusting that it was funny to pretend#anyways if this happened to you i'm sorry!! i hope things are better now
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Jorge Jimenez C2E2 2024 Commission!
#damian wayne#dick grayson#dynamic duo 2.0: what would you do without me?#beloved#idk if i can post it but i was asked with quick sketches if i wanted poses A or B for the hug#this was A and B was like a side hug pose to the camera LOL#anyway i'm inconsolable!! this art is both intensely motivating AND distracting how can i get anything done 😭#ok sorry i gotta scream but SO THANKFUL FOR HOW HAPPY JORGE DREW THEM!! I'M IN SHAMBLES DAMIAN'S BIG SMILE AND DICK'S TENDER ONE!!#THE FIRM HUG BETWEEN BOTH OF THEM WHERE DICK'S HAND GIVES THE CAPE FABRIC A BIT OF TENSION BC HE'S HOLDING DAMIAN CLOSE!!#AND DICK'S GENTLE HAND IN DAMIAN'S HAIR!! THEN DAMIAN FULL OUT CIRCLING HIS ARMS AROUND DICK!!#looks like Damian ran into this hug with Dick easily catching him as usual!#like. the arc from Damian's pose and solid line from Dick's. just such a solid silhouette idk!!#but yeah i'm on the floor in tears Jorge Jimenez THE ARTIST THAT YOU ARE
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Bingqiu they could never ever make me hate you
#ARGHHHH BINGQIUUUU SAVE ME BINGQIU RAAAAAAH#THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY#I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER#Had to draw bingqiu fluff bc it's good for the soul#THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SOOOO MUCHHH#I think they deserve all the post canon fluff and cuddles and cutsie storylines ever guys#idk if u guys can tell but I rlly like bingqiu#svsss#scumbag system#scum villian self saving system#the scum villain's self saving system#mxtx#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#Skipsart#tried out a new colouring style for the haor n I rlly liked it :]#guys my system crashed before I cleaned up the drawing so I'm sorry if the lines look unclean#<- I literally just coloured in the sketch#that one meme of the emo werewolf falling to his knees and ripping his shirt off#that's what I feel about them#the day I figure out how to draw hands I will be UNSTOPPABLE
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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The rulers of the underworld have an important message about mental health
#hades game#hades 2#melinoe hades#zagreus hades#hades supergiant#persephone hades#Idk why i drew this#A sudden rush of inspiration took over me#Because i'm an artist i just can't edit things and call it a meme i HAVE TO draw it#This is so dumb#But like all the dumb things i make it made me giggle so i'm sharing it#Zagreus looks very different every time i draw him and that makes me giggle too#I can't draw spiky anime hair... I just can't... I'm sorry Zagreus babygirl...#Hades is so fun to draw because i get to see what he looks like without his facial hair and it's cursed af every time#Edit: I was told sex sells but my Aphrodote drawing is at 20 notes and this is like at 400#The internet yearns for memes#my art
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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baby, bi bi bi
#911#911edit#evan buckley#buddie#this has been in my drafts for months bc i'm the slowest gif maker in the world and bad at finishing things (wanted to get it done before#s7 oops) but it's even more apt now ig even though i've seen like 6 other versions of it out there already. oh well here's mine#(and bonus i got to include those last two gifs so it worked out)#sorry again that the lone star one is such shit quality i literally can't find a hq version of that episode idk what to tell you#there are things missing from this but i just wanna post it before next episode and i need to go to bed i have to work tomorrow bye (bi bi)#beets.gif
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
#writeblr#this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol#by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations#and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me#& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it#''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother#and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious#anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it#it's seen as the only important thing#even if ur gay#and it's a nuanced thing idk#and while rn i i.d. as lesbian#like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label#they're like GET in the BOX#if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)
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DP x DC Prompt
…
There are no more heroes.
Well, okay. Rewind a bit.
Danny has been doing the hero thing for a while now. He’s had a big reveal; everyone has accepted him (including his parents), the GIW disbanded, the Anti-Ecto acts repealed, and generally, everything is going great. Some of the A-Listers are even training as junior ghost hunters to help give him a break from his rogues! (Being Ghost King makes things hectic sometimes, and he just needs the extra help. Sue him!)
The point is, literally nothing is wrong with Danny Phantom’s afterlife.
And then Valerie Gray, the Red Huntress, disappears in front of his eyes.
Danny is baffled! She’s just…gone! Valerie just popped out of existence, like she was never there. But no matter how hard he searches in the Ghost Zone, he can’t find her soul anywhere. His core isn't broken in grief. So she’s not dead. Which is good. So then, where is she?
Some of the others come forward with ideas on how to find her. A few ghosts volunteer to go out into the mortal realm, an area Danny had declared off-limits, to see if she was out there. Danny approves it. He rounds up some of the friendlier (i.e., discreet) ghosts and Amity Parkers and demolishes the outside travel ban.
So everyone spreads out, looking for their dear frenemy and teammate. But it becomes apparent very quickly that something is wrong with the rest of the world.
There are no more heroes.
Every single living superhero on the face of the Earth has just…vanished. Villains are running amok; the countries are in chaos! Some aliens are invading Earth, mythical deities are trying to take over, and society is crumbling to the ground. Everything is on the brink of collapse.
Well, Danny was still there. And so were his people. They were pretty spread out, so could they just…take up the mantles? He also knew where to find the souls of dead heroes in the Zone; surely they wouldn't mind coming out of retirement for a little bit, especially if they couldn't die again. Oh! And that skeleton army leftover from Pariah Dark's reign might be useful in repelling those invading forces.
Honestly, there were more than enough hands to go around! And with the heroes gone, Danny didn't mind letting everyone out for a little break, as long as they followed his rules. They wouldn't stop the search for the other heroes, but hopefully, when they found them, the heroes wouldn't mind Danny's intervention too much. :)
In other words:
Someone fucks up, and all of Earth's living heroes are either wished out of existence or are whisked away to some far-off realm where Danny hasn't checked yet. In the attempt to figure out what's going on, Danny lets the dead run amok over the Earth as they search for clues. The skeleton army repels the invading armies, the souls of dead heroes deal with the world leaders, and his rogues and other Amity Parkers set up shop in place of famous heroes, trying to get the cities under control again.
Basically, they just do their best to keep everything from imploding until the Justice League and others are back.
(And why is it that Danny hasn't disappeared? Well, whatever caused everyone to go poof! only affected living heroes. Anyone heroes that were dead in the first place, or even just half-dead, stayed behind.)
#pondhead blurbs#danny phantom#dpxdc#reveal gone right au#ghost king au#for plot reasons#it doesn't count if the hero had died and then came back to life#lots of heroes would still be around then#but this is me pushing the halfa!jason todd narrative work with me here he deserves the fun#deadman is there too#and he's just thriving honestly. it's so nice to be around his own kind even if the world is ending#maybe ellie is whooshed away too cause she never technically died but she took up danny's moniker when he was crowned#vlad is ecstatic cause danny put him in charge of several states while they looked for clues including Wisconsin#skulker is replacing superman and just has a shitty S painted on his chest and just eats kryptonite like candy the first time he meets Lex#Kitty and Johnny take over in gotham and sam is now the new wonder woman#idk man just stupid stuff like this#the press is flabbergasted cause the fucking KING OF GHOSTS just showed up and he's 14 and just looking for some friends#Danny: hey guys sorry about the zombies and fire i'm just here to find my coworker and lil sister and maybe the other heroes#Danny: in the meantime i'll just let my army into the mortal realm to defend it while we figure out what's going on pls don't yell at us :)#the press: how do we explain this to the justice league when they come back. how do we explain that earth was saved by a 14 year old boy-#also idk which heroes are technically dead but are still kicking so if you feel like someone deserves liminal status slap it on them idc#some villains are trying for world dominance and some are just trying to find their buddies. their fight buds. where'd they go? :(#joker gets bitch slapped by a skeleton two days in and waylon becomes bffs with wulf#danny uses the watchtower as a base of operations and it's the only thing he doesn't want to give up when the heroes are back#i have no plot ideas beyond this#i just want everyone to be baffled that an army of the dead showed up while they were gone and just made sure everything stayed cool#later danny realizes he was technically the ruler of the world for a bit since his people were everywhere keeping the villains in check
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i was asked to give connor this and here we are
#dbh connor#dbh#detroit become human#hank anderson#i'm sorry i can't draw hot men but i'm trying rly rly#thanks for the idea more excuses to draw connor#i freaking love bryan's face he's so pretty and yet so like regular looking idk how to explain but he's so pretty#but also looking like a regular guy you could meet everyday#i have no idea how to draw him i tried many times and he's impossible#idk i hate pretty men they make me feel things bc what are you pretty for#lol
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special
Mini Rats SMP comic
#This is based around the theory that RIP!Scott is a lab rat and had interest taken towards him because he's albino#Considering the scientists would never actually explain what albino means (because everyone else knows obv)#Scott would be very aware he's albino and that that's important. But not what “albino” actually means#(also idk much about Owen's character yet so if he very much would know what albinism is I'm sorry)#Scott smajor#Smajor1995#owengejuicetv#owengejuice fanart#Rats smp#squeaksblr#rats in paris#mini comic#mcytblr#mcyt fanart#My art
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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imagine being kevin day, son of exy, born and bred to be a cog in the well-oiled machine that is the edgar allan ravens. all you know being the routine of practice and practice and practice and performance and victory alongside those you call brothers.
-and then one day you wake up in your estranged father's apartment between a bottle of painkillers and a bottle of vodka and there is a knot of bandages where your future used to be. you don't wake up at 4am anymore. you sleep until noon and vomit the remainders of life as you knew it into unfamiliar toilets. you watch orange and white clash against each other from sidelines you haven't touched since you started growing facial hair.
your brother doesn't ask you to come home. you would come if he asked. the days are longer here and the food is too rich. the colors are too harsh, the language barrier is too much. you speak and no one understands.
they feel sorry for you, but not for what you have lost, instead for what you have suffered. you try to show them what belonging means, to sever parts of yourself to fit inside a uniform, but they don't understand the necessity of the blade the way your brothers did. they don't understand that suffering feels religious if you do it right.
the therapist tells you it's survivor's guilt but the only survivors you can see are on the court in black and red and they read your eulogy after the game at a press conference. you are not a survivor in any way that matters anymore. how treacherous your heart is for continuing to beat when you can't even hold your lifeline in your hand without dropping it.
you want to go home but your key doesn't open the same door anymore. you want to sit beside your brother but there is no space on his side of the table. you want to be a raven but you are a fox.
you grieve for connection until there is a knife where your neck guard used to sit. you grieve for your life until a boy offers to show you how it feels to survive. you offer to show him how it feels to live. he tells you he won't sever parts of himself to fit the uniform, but there are telltale bloodstains in the fabric from long before you asked.
you wake up at 4am again. you take turns vomiting in the toilet, you when the alcohol level dips too low and him when his smile runs out. he doesn't speak your language but he understands it. he keeps the car running when you visit the therapist. he keeps an eye on your back to watch the 02 on your jersey turn orange. the colors don't seem as harsh anymore.
he offers you safety. he offers you belonging. he offers you the only thing he knows how to give, the only thing you know how to take.
he offers you a lifeline. you pick it up with your right hand.
#aftg#the foxhole court#tfc#kevin day#there is no-one in this world i love more than him#suffering feels religious quote by chelsea hodson#idk if this is a character study?#or what#i just think so often about how kevin is so unfairly represented in fic most of the time#like i'm SORRY that he wants things to function as intended#and i'm SORRY that he wants people to achieve their exy potential when that's all he's known to be valuable his entire life#kevin day is my boyfriend#and i love him#so WHAT#emetophobia#TW#emetophobia tw#i saw someone repost with this and i didnt ecven THINK i am so sorry i have added the tw
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