#idk what people listen to at parties in the us give me a break

[llamatail]

what's better than a party to inaugurate a new house ? 🥳

[evnseokz]

{ ☆ liquid courage - s.jy }

pairing: soft dom! jake x f. reader

contents: jake is intoxicated, kissing, making out, riding, p in v, pull out method used, dirty talk, pet name baby, size kink if u squint, boobs in mouth (is there a word for that?? idk)

based off this request here

a.n: enjoy!!! w.c 1.3k

jake stumbled into the dimly lit room, laughter spilling from his lips as he leaned against the wall for support. the party was in full swing, but he only had eyes for you. you were sitting quietly on the couch, a half-empty drink cradled in your hands. “y/n!” he called, swaying slightly. you look up, a mix of amusement and concern on your face. “you gotta hear this!”

you raised an eyebrow, but your heart raced at the familiar spark in his eyes. he ambled over, plopping down beside you. the music thumped in the background, but all you could focus on was the warmth radiating from him. “jake, maybe you should—”

“no, listen.” he leaned closer, his breath warm and slightly sweet from the alcohol. “i’ve been thinking about something. like, a lot.” your pulse quickened. “what is it?”

“i think… i think i’m in love with you.” the confession hung in the air, heavy and unexpected. jake’s eyes, usually so playful, now shimmer with vulnerability. your breath caught in your throat. you had always felt something for him, but this? it was a moment you had never anticipated. “jake, you’re drunk,” you trail off.

he ran a hand through his hair, the uncertainty in his gaze giving way to something deeper. “i know, but... it’s true.  you’re always there, and it drives me crazy how much i want you. how much i need you.” heat flushed through your veins. the words ignited a spark you’d kept buried. “jake, i’ve felt the same way.” he looked at you, surprise mixing with elation. “really?”

before you could answer, he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours—a tentative, electrifying connection. it was as if the room melted away, leaving only the two of you. the kiss deepened, the world outside fading into a distant hum. before it could get anymore heated, jake suddenly pulled back, his eyes heavy with desire as he looked at you. “wanna go upstairs?” he asks, and you nod eagerly, arousal bubbling up in your tummy. he takes your hand in his, guiding you through the crowd of people and upstairs to his bedroom.

he tugs you inside, locking the door behind you all. you don’t get a chance to speak for jake has you pushed up against the door, lips on yours again. this time with much more passion than downstairs. his hand rests on your throat as he deepens the kiss, tongue swiping your bottom lip, begging for entry, which you gladly grant. your tongues fight for dominance, your hands trailing up his chest to rest around his neck. his hand that isn’t on your neck holds your waist, and he pulls you close. you start to walk, pushing jake to walk backwards as well, not breaking the kiss once.

the back of his knees hit the mattress, and he sits on the edge of the bed. you climb on top of his lap, straddling him. his other hand falls to your waist as he massages your hips. you grind down on his clothed hard-on, earning a groan from him as you sigh into his mouth. jake breaks the kiss to trail kisses down your jaw and neck, lightly sucking in some spots. you hum in response, eyes closing as you revel in the feeling. so lost in the feeling of his lips on your neck you don’t notice his hand traveling under your waistband until his fingers come into contact with your heat. your eyes snap open as a whimper falls from your lips.

“barely even touched you, and you’re already so wet,” jake coos, lust dripping from his tone. “jake please,” you whine, “don’t tease.” jake chuckles at your desperation. jake unbuttons your shorts, standing you up from his lap so you can shimmy them and your panties off. as you do so, jake unbuttons his own pants, pulling them and his underwear down in one swift motion. his cock springs free, and your mouth waters at the sight. jake smirks at your reaction before pulling you back down to his lap, his cock caged in between the both of you. jake’s hands find the hem of your shirt, tugging it up and over your head before ridding himself of his own. you unclasp your bra before letting it fall of your arms and somewhere on the floor.

you admire jake’s toned chest, running your hands over his pecs and up his strong, broad shoulders. “so strong,” you mutter to yourself. but jake heard you. he chuckles slightly before taking a moment to have his turn of checking you out. his eyes trail along your breasts, focusing in on your perky nipples, hard and desperate for attention. he leans down, taking one in his hand as he takes the other in his mouth. you gasp in surprise, small moans leaving your lips at the sensations he’s giving you. “jake,” you moan, and he pulls away to look you in the eyes. “yeah baby?”

“please,” you pout. “please what, baby? what do you want me to do?” he feigns ignorance, knowing exactly what you want. you whine, frustrated that he’s making you say it. “fuck me, please," you say quietly. jake smirks, “wasn’t so hard, baby?” his hands fall to your hips, pulling you to hover over the head of his cock. you feel the tip prod at your entrance, and you whimper. he pushes himself in slowly, and you cry out at the stretch. once he’s bottomed out, he stays stagnant, letting you adjust to his size. “s-so big,” you breathe, hands gripping his shoulders. “can i move, baby?” he asks, cock throbbing inside of your tight walls. you nod, “please.”

his hands start to guide you up and down his cock, the stretch causing your eyes to squeeze shut every time you sink down on his thick cock. whines fall from your lips, jake’s fingers squeeze your hips lightly. “shhh i got you, baby,” he coos as he guides your hips on his cock. your hands move to latch behind his neck, and he takes this opportunity to switch your positions. you now lay on your back as jake hovers over you, his head falling to rest on your shoulder as he moves in and out of your warmth. low grunts fall from his mouth, your cunt seemingly sucking him right back in every time he pulls out. your hands fall from his neck, gripping the sheets instead, loud moans escaping your lips as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. your walls begin to spasm around him, and he can tell you’re close.

one of his hands falls down to where you are connected and begins circling your clit. your body jolts, a loud, pornographic moan ripping from your throat. the combination of him thrusting in and out of you and the stimulation to your clit sends you over the edge almost immediately. your body shakes, moans falling from your lips. jake continues thrusting in and out of you, chasing his own high. “s’too much!” you cry out. “hang on for me, baby, a-almost there i promise.” jake’s hips begin to stutter, and his thrusts become sloppy. he pushes himself until he can't hold back anymore, and he pulls out of your sopping hole, stroking himself as his seed spills out, coating your stomach. his eyes are squeezed shut as he cums.

once he’s completely emptied out, he scans his room, looking for the nearest towel. when he can’t find one, he grabs his shirt off the floor and uses it to wipe his seed off of you before throwing it into the dirty clothes bin. he collapses next to you on the bed, both of your chests still heaving. he turns to face you, and your eyes meet his instantly. “y/n?” a faint smile splays on his lips. “yeah?”

“be my girlfriend?”

you giggle,

“absolutely.”

.

..

…

[thoughtsonkm]

Goodbye, for now

BABY? HONEY? BOYFRIEND SHOT? Jikook you're too much!

This episode was truly the best way to end the show, maybe even the best episode of the series. (Neck in neck with episode 2 of course) The way they enjoyed it so much but were also so sad it was over. The hot tension all around, the soft boyfriends mood who can't stop flirting and name calling each other with the most low-key couple-like sweet names. They could not stop laughing, they could not stop touching and they couldn't stop being hilarious without even trying.

~

SK Spotify daily chart end of November 2023 :

Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jungkook Jimin Jimin

~

It would be such a full circle moment if Jimin posted the boyfriend photo (which won't happen). Would almost be like a soft launch of some sort.

Not the underwear too?? Gosh I love my little gay freaks!! (didn't understand why Jimin would quote their 'yet another inner joke meme' right at that moment but I've learned to not question their inner workings)

~

Sorry but i have to be pretty one last time and say that I kinda had enough of seeing so much from the crew around or even in Jikook's shots and angles. It breaks the fourth wall a little too much and ruins the whole bubble idea. Ok I'm done lol

~

Returning to the issue at hand, the "seeing the beds for the first time" scene keeps getting funnier and funnier. As if they don't already have designated sides of the bed 😏

~

Ah the never ending bickering gives me life. Peep the half korean half english talk when they playfully get on each others nerves 👀😂

I better not speak on the scuzzi jacuzzi shenanigans cause otherwise.. Let's just say the photo speaks for itself..

NO YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA SPEAK. We all know that jacuzzi time is always intimate, relaxing and personal for people that's why I wish Jikook had enjoyed it fully without cameras. Yes I'm pissed on their behalf, that they had to film the whole thing with 382929 different angles. lol

His face is literally saying "oh so you're really gonna make me do it huh? if I was in your place I would've folded immediately and would've never let you go through with it!!" 😂

~

No one ever:

Jikook every 2sec : HONEY OH HONEY

(I was actually listening to the song while writing this and idk why it's so funny to me even tho it's a sad love ballad)

~

They must've loved getting the chance to at least see one episode of the show, plus the idea of watching it together..

Jungkook being so entertained by it meanwhile Jimin being mortified about half of the things that happened. HILARIOUS

HAHAHHAHAHA all parties were concerned if they'd be able to pull it off, I can't

BEST BELIEVE they're always gonna find a way to touch. Consciously or unconsciously.

~

This show made me realize that my favourite thing ever is Jk making food for Jimin, then making him hysterically laugh and therefore getting to hear Jimin's adorable giggles.

~

"Hello it is I the one and only, the only one who can touch Jimin's head ble ble ble ble" - JK

Jk was like: How can you imagine Jimin without me in your dream? Are you crazy? What is this delusional dream world you live in Jin hyung??

~

Tbh it's so meaningful and a huge thing saying that these trips were literally the best trips of your life. I think the statement almost went over people's heads.

I can't get enough of Jimin looking pretty and cuddly and Jungkook's immediate thought being: I HAVE TO FILM YOU

Them saying they can do a reboot when they come back gave me some hope that maybe just maybe this is not the end of AYS 😭

The ending bonus clip left me fulfilled but also sad and with goosebumps all over.

Thank you Jimin & Jungkook for letting us peek into this trip and getting to witness some of your precious moments.

Signing off, J&J 🥹

Ps. So I'm guessing the 52 minute video that comes with the photobook is probably the 3 bts videos combined that they've been reviewing for 48392 months right?

[fuumiku]

Day 2 : Role Swap

Ok I have thoughts for this one bear with me. He’s a mage with a half-foot guild still but his activism is especially targeted towards half-foot mages specifically since they’re rare and so looked down upon (and the two are correlated).

Marcille scouts out places all Tomb Raiser style for lost treasures and knowledge, keeps maps and written info etc in her book. She’s still much of a scholar but more in an archeologist sense, she wants to discover the truth of dungeons and see if it could revolutionize the world. She’s a buildings and engineering nerd instead of magic nerd. She hypes herself up as a passionate cool rogue adventurer like in books✨ Chil thinks it’s a silly and unstable profession. All her um, grace and agility when doing headstands and dancing are coming through with this new role of hers.

Chil does need to borrow mana and so they hold hands a lot. I am so taking advantage of the mana transfer thing. "I’m out of mana, you’re an elf and you never use magic, give some to me! You have so much, don’t be selfish!!" -inparty fight breaks out as he chases after her and she runs away- I imagine that’s just kinda how he and half-foot mages roll? Dunmeshi-typical worldbuilding monologue that explains how "Most people don’t even use their mana, they don’t even learn magic. If you give me your mana I’ll be able to do more magic, win-win, no harm done." I imagine you have to be magic-savvy to be able to transfer mana to someone but it’s fine he can just steal it methinks 🌟 So he gets to be the one who’s very casual about physical touch. He does NOT want to be a healer it stresses him out but ah shit there Falin goes.

More AU details under cut

You’ve heard of onion knight now get ready for onion mage Y’know the saddest part of mage Chilchuck is that he wouldn’t use explosion spells

You know how Marcille uses her staff to grab people by the neck or head sometimes… Chilchuck would have a free choking stick he can use to make people listen to him. He can REACH THEIR NECKS. It doubles as a walking stick for his old man back… /j And a weapon, sort of. I think staff more than lance, but long weapons like that suit him I think. Holding the monster at bay with a 4 feet long stick like "Stay BACK!! Go for my party members shoo shoo!!!!"

From my observations, staffs for magic all have a ‘hole’ at one end, oh size, shape, material and form varying. For example both Marcille and Rin have a similar hoop, but Falin’s is a lantern which imo the metal frame of it and the glass form this hole I’m speaking of. Maybe it’s like, the staff condenses the magic inside the hole and helps channel it and give it form? What I’m saying here is I didn’t decide what it was made out of but I like to think it’s carved wood so it can be homemade but unique to him.

Marcille and Chil both fight in battles, but he stays where it’s safer and does long distance spells only. Marcile uses daggers probably… But yeah her role’s more being a scout rather than a fighter, while Chil’s role is being a magical fighter and his expertise on magical creatures and such.

I think he’d be self-taught, where it’s his own magic system… I think he likes theory more than vibes and working at the whims of creatures, so maybe elven with an half-foot script? He doesn’t seem like the type to get buddy-buddy with spirits much A bit like his cowl it’s like he always has a part of home with him a bit with his half-foot magic… He’d have sucked at the beginning, it’s pretty experimental magic, but he made it work and tbh he’s a Big Deal for it. Learning on the field ofc ofc he’s no honor student

I think the racial prejudices tension would be worse, because he’d be nervous of the whole ‘half-foots who get too curious about dark magic get taken away’, and I think as a half-elf who doesn’t do magic it might be uncomfortable for her to deal with how the half-foot is better at it than her and how her mana would have had better use with him instead of her? Idk brainstorming. I def think she’d habe more of a complex about being a half-elf… Still with existential dread and still Hopes to find a cure to death, but she goes about it through artefacts etc rather than magic. I’m unsure how her career would turn out that wqy exactly because job stability and academia are important to her, but yeah I think she went to school on an agricultural and history level and focused her research on that front? And then she could become that adventurer scholar who explores to pierce secrets of the world and ancient civilizations trope yeah I think that’s the angle.

Maybe his plans for the future after quitting being a dungeon diver would be teacher/mentor instead of shopkeeper 🤔 One one hand oh god have mercy on his blood pressure, on the other he likes contributing to his community and would want to encourage half-foot mages and pass down his knowledge and expertise I think. Empty nest syndrome where…- OHHH mage Meijack……. I was thinking becayse Meijack followed in his footsteps in canon but it could suit Puckpatti and Flertom too… Their dad would have shown them some magic tricks hehe. They can be a magical girl trio in my heart, Powerpuff Girls energy…

A rogue has gotta be able to make intricate af braids and updos with their fingers (ignore how in canon Chil is just barely decent at them nvm). I was thinking maybe one of Marcille’s lockpicks is Ambrosia-shaped… Or maybe it’s an hairpin. Maybe she keeps her lockpicks as pins in her hair but they’re easy to grab… Getting more gimmicky by the second but my heart yearns for it I cannot lie. I ended up doing something close to canon for Marcille’s outfits but at first I imagined she’d wear stuff more akin elven fashion, short dress with pants, light material, though also with a leather armor breastblate. She has long gloves like the ones that look fancy, maybe even up her upper arm rather than just forearm ooh… Also her little pouch, which actually contains stuff this time around (lockpicks). They still have matching pouches yay

In that last doodle Chilchuck weaved her a little familiar with twigs… So it is magical but it’s hers, and it’s a second stand-in for Ambrosia. Maybe a golem… It’s very silly and prob not real in the au but the thought of it is really cute. Someone on the discord said Fantastical Beasts Pickett which yesss lmao, it’s like a pokemon for "(lock)pick it!" I love arts and crafts Chilchuck so much. Sew clothes. Weave twigs. Woodcarve. Necromance a frankenstein. He can make himself a new wife (/J I AM SO /J)

— Also for Izutsumi: I think the reverse of a ninja is a bard. Take that as you will. Angry bard who grew up in a troupe……

[restlesspazzi04]

here are scraps from chapter 6 + explanations on why they were scrapped!

Scene 1

This was a deleted section from the conversation with Paige and Michael:

Michael just nods in response, letting Paige continue. “I think I’m in love with Azzi.” The verbalization shocks both of them as the words slip out of Paige’s mouth. “And I don’t think she loves me back,” Paige slurs out, hugging her knees for comfort. 

“What makes you think that?” Michael asks a little quieter this time. 

“I just don’t think she sees me like that. I can’t really explain it.” 

Michael hums lowly, continuing to listen. 

“I’m not good enough for her,” Paige pauses for a moment before continuing, “And I don’t think I ever will be.” 

“I think you’re being harsh on yourself.” Michael chimes in finally, “You should talk to Azzi about this. I think you would be surprised at what she has to say.”

“And ruin my relationship with my best friend? No way.” Paige scoffs, “Plus, I can’t give Azzi what she wants… or what she deserves. It wouldn’t be a good idea to tell her.” 

“But are you happy with what you are to her? Are you happy seeing her with other people?”

The question made Paige stop and think. Was she happy? When Azzi had told her about the girl she had hooked up with, Paige had gone on a mini-rampage, finding random girls to sleep with every chance she had. She had chalked it up to being in college and an unlimited population of girls who wanted her (which was true still), but she would be lying if she said Azzi hooking up with someone else didn’t influence her choices. It had hurt her more than she anticipated and that hurt terrified her. 

“It doesn’t matter what I feel. I can’t lose her. If I told her right now then we would have to date. And if we dated that means we would break up. And if we broke up, well- well then our friendship would be over and I don’t know if I can handle that.” 

“Why would you have to break up? You’re dooming a relationship before it even starts. What’s the point of that?” 

Paige shakes her head, “I’m not dooming anything, I’m just being realistic.”

“Or you’re projecting your commitment issues.” Michael cuts in quickly, causing Paige to have a mildly offended look on her face. 

“I do not have commitment issues!” Paige exclaims. 

-

Explanation:

I didn't want Paige's first verbalization of loving azzi to be in this chapter (aka want it to be a bigger moment)

I thought the outward mention of her commitment issues was too cliche and scrapped that

just not well written and flowed awkwardly to me idk

Scene 2

This scene jumped from multiple places such as the beginning on the basketball court and the bathroom scene at the party:

“We would get to spend three years playing together, that’s one.” Paige says, counting off her fingers, “We would get to hang out at any time, go to bars together, and just have more freedom. I mean I love Katie and Tim, and my parents are good about letting us sleep over, but let’s be honest we always have to end shit early, and that’s just two. I got like three more.”

Paige takes a step closer to Azzi, in her face now. 

“Three, we would be teammates and you know how well we worked together in Team USA. We are like Curry and Thompson. See? I even used an NBA player you knew. That’s just how well I know you.” Paige says with a shit-eating grin on her face, warranting a tiny shove from the brunette. 

“Four, I want you to meet my friends. I just know you would get along with everyone. Why would I not want the best team for you? And you would love Geno. He’s a tough coach and I know you like that.” Paige just smiles, resting both her arms on Azzi’s shoulders. 

“And five?” Azzi asks a bit quieter when Paige doesn’t respond for a moment, just staring at the younger girl with a flirty smile.

“We could be as loud as we want,” Paige says while maintaining eye contact, only breaking it once to glance down at Azzi’s lips. 

“Oh yeah? Is that why you want me to come? I didn’t realize my Mom telling us to quiet down while playing Fortnite was so annoying. I’ll ask her to back off.” Azzi says while feigning innocence, not wanting to play whatever game Paige was playing.

“Yeah, it gets really annoying when our hangouts get interrupted. I mean we’re just two girls tryna have fun, what crime are we committing by laughing too hard?” Paige says, playing along with Azzi. 

“I guess I just have to come so we can laugh into the night together,” Azzi says while leaning in for a kiss. 

Explanation:

it lowkey killed me to take this out because i liked the way i wrote it but i just didn't have a use for it

kinda forward and i wanted paige's reasons for wanting azzi to come to uconn to be less superficial? if that makes sense

her actual list will be revealed later in the fic

Scene 3

This was the original ending to the fic, i just didn't like it that much:

“Do you remember that party we went to before you committed when I asked you to narrow down to two schools?”

Azzi looks at her, confused, “What does that have to do anything?” “Just trust me. Do you remember that night?” Paige says, still unsure of where she is going herself. 

“Yes, you were being an asshole… what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I made of list of every single reason I wanted you to come to UCONN, but I never told you because I was too scared to tell you how I felt.” 

Azzi looks back curiously now, wanting to know more.

“And I thought about sending you that list every single day leading up to your commitment because it was driving me insane"  

“But I realize now, that I can’t do this anymore with you. I can’t sit and hold back every single time we talk about something serious because it’s been years of this back-and-forth and it’s driving me insane.” Paige pauses for a moment before continuing, “I’m not going to tell you what to do because that’s up to you to decide. But if you're genuinely asking me if I think you should get married to Ben, I'm going to say no."

Explanation:

I initially wrote this with the intention of this being the moment Paige tells Azzi she shouldn't get married, but it felt way to premature and i just didn't like the level of impact it would've had to the plot

I didn't like most of the wording

too much blatant flashbacking, felt unnatural

this is a slow burn and this would simply be too much progression when it hasn't even been a full 24 hours of them being resolved friends again (aka wtf was i thinking)

And that is the totality of the deleted scenes i will be sharing thank you for reading :)

also if you've made it to the end, i have a one shot coming out soon on tumblr so watch out for that !

[bordysbae]

i genuinely need like frat wedding with someone like idc but i wanna see how it would fucking go 😫

“wedding bells”

mark estapa x brisson!reader

word count: 1.3k

warning: cursing

ps: this is not a romance story, there is kissing but its not really a love story! sorry if that’s what you were expecting!! also, sorry this isn’t exactly a frat wedding but it’s pretty close in idea? also idk why the gif is so blurry :((

you and your older brother, brendan, somehow ended up at the same college. so this meant having to deal with his idiotic teammates all the time. you’re just hanging out in your dorm when suddenly dylan and ethan come banging on your door. “jesus christ i’m coming stop knocking on the door!” you groan, rolling out of your bed.

you open the door and see ethan and dylan breathing heavily, sweating a little too. “should’ve known it would be you idiots, what do you guys want? also, why are you guys so out of breath?” you ask, annoyed that they disturbed your peace. “you need to come with us to the sophomores house, cmon” dylan says quickly grabbing your wrist. you stop in your tracks, causing dylan to jolt backwards. “hold on! i don’t have shoes on dumbass!” “hurry up!” ethan exclaims as you go back into your dorm to grab shoes.

the boys take you to the house, and you’re met with not only your roomate, who’s also your best friend, but also the entire hockey team. “what the fuck is going on?” you chuckle nervously, confused why so many people are here.

“go turn around in the corner, we have a surprise for you” thomas says as he grabs your wrist and pushes you into the corner gently. you turn around and listen to the chaos and whispers going on behind you. “y/n turn around” your best friend sing-songs. you slowly and cautiously turn around, afraid something might jump out at you or something. you never know what the hockey boys have up their sleeve. when you turn around you see everyone either sitting on or standing around the couch, and mark is in front of you down on one knee. your mouth falls agape at the sight.

“y/n, i love you—“ mark pauses and turns around to face your brother brendan, “as a friend, don’t kill me briss.” brendan chuckles and gives a thumbs up, as mark turns around to face you again. “—so much, so will you do me the honor and marry me?” he asks, as he pulls out a ring pop from his pocket. you hold back a laugh, and nod in agreement, wiping fake tears to go along with the act.

the crowd around you guys erupts into cheers and laughs, as he places the ring pop on your ring finger. he pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear, “i’m sorry about all this” he laughs, making you finally break and begin laughing too. the guys suddenly turn you and marks hug into a group one and you’re instantly being crushed by everyone. “so when’s the wedding?” luke asks. “uhh, saturday! tomorrow night we can all go out to the bar as a bachelor party” mark suggests. “what about me? i can’t be in your bachelor party, i’m the bride!” you say. “oh suck it up y/n, you’ll be fine” ethan says as he pats your shoulder. “yeah yeah, whatever eddy”

—

today is the day, and you’re wearing a random white dress you found in your closet. it’s definitely far from a wedding dress, but you’re a broke college kid, so a tight dress from senior year homecoming is the best you’re gonna get. your roommate, now maid of honor, is doing your makeup, while your other friends who you chose as bridesmaids get their dresses on. the boys are lucky since they need to dress up before games, so they all have nice outfits already planned out for them.

eventually it’s time to walk down the aisle, and your bridesmaids all found someone to pair up with. brendan is walking your friend eliana, ethan is walking shea, luke is walking molly, dylan is walking ella, and lastly thomas is walking you. thomas isn’t apart of the bachelor party but since he’s your brothers best friend who you’ve grown close to, he decided to step in to walk you down the aisle.

“good luck out there kid” he chuckles softly, making you chuckle slightly too.

once you reach the altar you see mark standing in front of you, a stupid grin across his face. nolan was collectively voted to wed you guys, since he’s the most “responsible.”

“ladies and gentlemen i bring you all here today to celebrate the um, totally real marriage of y/n and mark!” nolan says, and the crowd roars of things like “get it mark!” and “that’s my boy!” once the crowd quiets down, nolan speaks up again. “so, mark would you like to start us off with the vows?” “oh sure” he says as he scratches the back of his neck.

“y/n i love the pancakes you make after a long night out, they taste really good! i also really love how you blast music from your phone for no reason literally every time you’re over! umm yeah i love you a lot, i guess?” he says awkwardly off of the top of his head. “you couldn’t even write anything down?! you’re such an idiot estapa!” ethan bursts out laughing, making everyone including you laugh.

just before you can begin your vows suddenly nolan speaks up, “um excuse me, phillipe there’s no smoking in here unless you give me a hit, so please put your puff bar away sir.” nolan scowls at the boy who’s in the second row of foldable chairs. phillipe takes one last hit and places it back in his pocket, “my fault. continue with your vows.” you chuckle before pulling out your phone to read the vows you wrote. “mark, i’ve gotten to know you decently well and i’m honored to be marrying you! you’re a pain in the ass who im so glad to be marrying. thanks for always eating the food i make, you’re always the reason i need to make three batches of pancakes for you idiots. i love you lots!” you giggle at the stupidness of this entire situation.

“oh her vows were so much better, you suck estapa” dylan exclaims. “shut up dylan!” mark groans. “alright, mark, do you take y/n to be your wife, to be together through sickness and in health, to be together uhhh—“ he pauses to think, “um, through old age?” he shrugs, making everyone laugh once again.

“i do” mark smiles at you. “y/n, do you take mark to be your husband through whatever the hell i just said to mark?” nolan asks you. “i do” you smile. “alright mackie, bring out the rings!” nolan exclaims, as mackie rises from his seat holding a little box with two haribo wedding rings in it . mark places a ring on your finger, and you place the other one on his.

“you may now kiss the bride!” nolan cheerfully blurts out. “briss close your eyes” mark says as he wraps an arm around your waist, dipping you down like in the movies and kissing your lips. many ‘woo!’s and ‘get it!’s can be heard from the crowd around you. brendan pulls mark away from you playfully, “okay that’s enough kissing my sister estapa!” he says as he fake gags.

matty starts playing ‘dj got us fallin in love’ by usher as you and mark walk hand in hand down the aisle. “matty i wanted taylor swift to play at my wedding! not party music!” you complain. “it was this or some random youtube video dylan found of wedding bells!” “wedding bells are a real thing? i thought that was just a saying” mark chimes in. dylan shrugs, “i didn’t know they were real either, i just looked up wedding music”

“enough bickering you four, nolan bought champagne!” thomas says, luring the four of you back inside the house. “to the newly weds!” nolan says as he shakes the bottle before popping it open, making everyone cheer.

never did you think your wedding would look like this, but if we’re being honest, this is way more fun.

[our-destiny]

Not sure what to title this, but it's dark/yandere Bucky and a hint of pervert!Bucky. The ending is super rushed and as always this is super self indulgent and not well written <3 readers gender is not specified

Trigger warnings: Stalking, violence (not towards reader), killing, male masturbation, Buckys filthy thoughts, stealing, mention of reader masturbating, implied noncon at the end - if I missed anything please let me know

I am not responsible for the media you consume, read the warnings, minors dni

Want to read more of my work? Check out my Masterlist

Word count: 1378

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

Bucky, who's still getting used to the new world, the Winter Soldier progamming not quite gone yet, lost in this unfamiliar world until he meets you. He doesn't really understand social norms, so when he feels a need to protect you and be around you, he does just that.

He follows you around, not really trying to hide it, and stares at you openly from across the room.

He convinced Tony to put your room next to his (or changed rooms so he could be next to you idk) so he could always listen to you and make sure you're okay. He learns your schedule and follows it, always trailing behind you like your shadow.

In the morning he would let himself into your room. If you were still asleep he would sit and watch you, when you awoke and asked what the hell he was doing, he would just stare, saying nothing. After the first few times this happened you started locking your door at night, which did nothing because he would just break the lock. Though he stopped after Steve told him off for it, so now he just stands outside your door waiting for you. He'd wait for you to get ready before following walking with you to breakfast. When you sit down to eat he makes sure he's sitting next to you, kicking someone out of their seat if need be, and also makes sure no one else is sitting on the other side of you. When eating he still stares at you, only ever glancing away, almost as if you would disappear at any moment. He follows you around the rest of the day, joining you in the gym, following you when you go out to eat. He's always there, always watching.

When you go to your room, he leaves you be. Steve told him that you needed some privacy and alone time, so when you shut the door in his face he goes to his room next door. He's not too worried about you getting hurt since he can hear everything you're doing in there. If someone were to come over to your room, he would first lean against his door, listening to your conversation with them, holding his trusty gun ready to attack if they tried to hurt you. When they left he would calm down and open his door to check up on you, once he knows you're okay he'll go back into his room. However if you were to invite them into your room, he wouldn't allow that, immediately storming out of his room and into yours, ready to tell the other person to get the fuck out. You see he doesn't like leaving you alone, let alone leaving you alone with another person, he has to be next to you or at least have you in his sight. You can convince him to let them stay, as long as you also let him stay in your room to watch over you, but if you don't say anything he will demand they leave and will make it physical if he has to.

He doesn't like it when other people touch you or gets too close to you. After so long with Hydra he doesn't understand that touches can be friendly, anytime someone touches you he thinks they're out to hurt you. If anyone tries to touch you Bucky will stand between you two and glare at them until they either leave or back off. If someone does put their hand on you, even if it's just a friendly pat on the back, he'll almost break their wrist while getting them off of you.

Bucky does give you some personal space depending on where you are. If you're in a room that's not very crowded then he'll be further away, but if you're at a party or something else where there's a lot of people, he'll stand really close to you. Your back will be pressed against his chest and you can feel him breathing down your neck, you might as well be sitting in his lap because he's so close.

He doesn't talk much, either. Or at all actually. If he does speak it's probably to tell someone to go away or stop touching you. But he likes listening to you. Anything you say to him, or just say in general, he'll remember even if it seems like he's not listening.

He almost thinks of you as his handler. Like you own him or control him, or like he has some sort of duty to protect you and follow your commands. If you mention that someone was annoying you today, that night while you're sleeping he'll go and kill them for you. Bucky won't follow out every command you give him, there's stuff he won't budge on when it comes to your safety. Such as he won't stop following you, and he won't let anyone touch you. You could trick him to leave you alone if you tell him to wait somewhere and then make a run for it, but after a few minutes he'll start to worry that you're in danger and go find you. And he will find you, he's trained to track people down so you won't be away from him for long. Your safety comes above everything for him, including your word, so he won't let people touch you. No matter what you say. If someone tries to touch you, you can talk him out of hurting them or killing them, by just telling him to leave it be but he still won't let them lay a hand on you.

He's not completely honest with you. There's some stuff you don't know about, like how he kills anyone he deems a threat, and how he comes into your room at night, picks the lock if he has to, just to watch you sleep, and hear you breathe. There's something about how peaceful you look, how unaware you are when you sleep that he can't get enough of. Maybe it's just that he likes seeing you safe and comfortable, maybe he just likes the idea of him having your life in his hands, the choice of whether to be your protector or your abuser. Maybe he's just happy that he found a reason to live now, a person to take care of. Either way he sits and watches you sleep, like a loyal guard dog.

You also don't know how much of a pervert Bucky is. How he lets himself into your room when you're not there, lays on your bed, getting lost in your scent. He can't help but touch himself, to grind against the mattress imagining it was you underneath him, you he was thrusting his cock into, cuming on your sheets leaving a sticky residue. He pokes around and steals a few things to add to his collection, finding your underwear drawer and jerking off again with a pair pressed against his nose before stealing a few to use later. He's so horny for you whenever he's alone he can't stop thinking about your body, he cums at least five times a day now because of you. When he wakes up he immediately rubs one out, in the shower, when he goes to bed, anytime he's alone. Remember how I said he can hear everything you do when you're in your room? He can hear you masturbate, and touches himself to the sound of you, talking to you as if you could hear him. It takes all of his will power not to just take you whenever he pleases, he thinks about it though. When he watches you while you're asleep he thinks about just having a little taste, wondering if you'd wake up if he were to slip his cock into you. When you're in the gym he thinks about pulling down your workout pants and fucking you, doesn't matter if anyone else is there. When you eat breakfast he imagines fucking your face. He's just so horny for you.

Eventually he snaps, kidnapping you and locking you away in a cabin far into the woods, finally able to act out all of his desires and keep you safe by his side <3

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

Reblog to give me motivation to write more shit <33

[bigbadjelly]

Gone Baby, Don’t Be Long

E42!Miles x reader

2.9k wrds

COLLEGE AU 💜You meet Miles during the summer break between freshman and sophomore year of college, and during the year you start developing feelings for him.

warnings: language, suggestive, drinking, oblivious reader

➽──────────────❥

He met you in a club, dancing like you were looking for somebody. Miles couldn’t help but give in once you made eye contact.

Dancing with you made him feel intoxicated, your smile made him borderline dizzy. Once the song ended he walked you to the bar.

“You’re beautiful,” was the first thing he said to you.

“Thanks. You too.”

You internally slapped yourself. He laughed, covering his smile. Shit. This guy was Micheal B Jordan level handsome. The purple bar lighting made his dark skin glow. It accentuated his muscles peaking from his jacket.

You sipped on your drink, feeling the substance warm your chest.

“Whatchu doin after this?”

You.

“Nothin ma, you tryna come over?”

A smile was your answer. You swayed next to him while waiting for the uber. You definitely drank more than you thought.

Miles took notice, holding your hand and bringing your back to his chest. He leaned down to whisper in your ear:

“Lean on me, mami”

You fell asleep on his shoulder on the drive to his place. He picked you up and carried you inside, laying you on his bed before sleeping on the couch.

You woke up in his bed to him making breakfast. He was playing a record: New Amerykah Part Two by Erykah Badu. It was a special edition with a purple record.

Immediately you geeked out, singing along in your smudged makeup and wrinkled dress, in the apartment of a man you’d known for less than 18 hours, chatting about the greatest neo-soul artist of all time.

“You like plantains, ma?”

“Obviamente.”

It was a fast friendship.

➽──────────────❥

“Friendship.”

It’s been months. Miles has either lost his game, or you are severely ignorant. How could he be friends with a beautiful girl that listened to the same music as him?

When he found out you both attended the same university, he invited you to a study date. Clearly he didn’t emphasize the ‘date’ part enough.

Here you were, on his couch in your pajama pants and one of Mile’s shirts, looking beautiful; talking about a cute guy you saw at the Taco Bell drive through.

You looked up from your laptop to see his deadpan expression.

“What’s the stank face for?”

“I dunno, (Y/N). What you talkin’ about other guys for?”

“Who else am I gonna tell?”

He kissed his teeth and looked back down at his work. You were used to it. Miles was a touch and go kind of guy, you could never really tell how he’d react.

Sometimes you would think you barely knew him. He was sweet around you, but most other people seemed to steer away. He was rarely without a bruise or two or a scratch. You wondered where he got them.

You still liked him. Every time you hung out with him you cursed yourself for not making a move the first night he brought you over. But since he never pulled anything like that, you figured your attraction was unrequited.

(You were wrong, by the way)

➽──────────────❥

You and Miles shared a Sociology class, and after a tough final exam you really wanted to surprise him with something nice.

You tried to think of foods he liked, but it was difficult. Anytime you hung out together he always insisted on getting whatever you wanted.

Close to giving up, you texted his old high school roommate you remembered meeting at a party Miles brought you to a while back.

———————————————————————

YOU: GANKE!! THIS IS URGENT!!

YOU: what is miles favorite food 🙏🏼

GANKE: who is tjis

YOU: 😒

YOU: y/n

GANKE: oh shit!

GANKE: miles gf

GANKE: idk probably tostones

YOU: awesome thanks

YOU: also we’re not dating

GANKE: …

GANKE: sure

———————————————————————

Tostones were easy enough. After getting ingredients and frying them, you put them in a lunchbox with some guacamole.

As an afterthought you grabbed some Coronas and some limes and left your dorm to catch the bus to Mile’s apartment.

On the way over you were deep in thought. You met Miles last summer, and you had been friends for close to a year.

You were always sleeping at his place, studying with him, eating with him, partying with him. You knew his family. He knew yours.

He wasn’t your best-friend. Because what you felt definitely wasn’t friendly. It was hungry. You ached for him. You wore his clothes for gods sake.

Shoving the baggage out of your mind, the bus came to a stop a block away from his building.

You knocked once.

Twice.

Three times?

Okay. So maybe he went somewhere else after taking the test. But he did say he was going home…

In your mind you weigh using the key he gave to to unlock his front door and let yourself in vs. being a normal person and giving up.

A soft thud from inside shifts your decision to the latter. You enter the apartment quietly, setting your bags and shoes on the floor before entering the living room.

It was an eery type of quiet. You heard wind flowing through an open window in another room down the hallway. A low groan, and another soft thump.

“Miles?”

The shuffling coming from the other room came to a dead stop. You made your way down to Mile’s room, turning and—

“¡Díos mío!”

You ran to a slumped Miles, covered in shallow cuts that were bleeding profusely. You touched a hand to his face, and he inhaled sharply, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his lips.

“Hola mami,”

“Are you fucking serious Morales? ¿Qué pasó?”

“Eso no es mi culpa,”

He let out a laugh that turned into a shallow cough. Your throat tightened, and you felt your eyes turn shiny.

Okay. Focus. First Aid.

“Miles. Where do you keep your first aid kit?”

“De…Debajo de la cama,” He strained.

You opened it to find most of the supplies depleted. With paper towels and clean water from the kitchen you dabbed at his face, frowning at his pained expression.

Being this close to his face should have had you rejoicing. You ran your hands along every curve of his head, your thumb swiping his bruised lip.

There was a larger cut near his scalp you were being especially careful of. Embarrassed, but determined, you stood on your knees with his legs tucked between yours, and his head leaned towards your chest as you cleaned and applied ointment to his scalp. A few butterfly bandaids finished the job.

“Done.”

He suddenly lifted his face to meet yours, and you fell back, your butt landing on his thighs as his hands reached up to catch your hips. He was impossibly close, maybe three centimeters was between your noses. You could see his speckled brown irises, a million shades of beautiful. You were breathing heavy. He moved closer, his eyelashes brushing yours as he looked down at your lips and

“I—um. I brought you tostones. and beer,”

The trance broke. His eyes met yours and he broke out in a grin that had you blushing all the way to your toes. You scrambled off of him and apologized for if you hurt him.

“Don’t flatter yourself, you couldn’t hurt me if you tried,”

Miles used the window to pull himself up, straining as he did so. you wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to the living room. After he was sat on the couch, you went to get the (now cold) tostones.

As you handed him a beer your hands brushed and he gave you the same look as earlier when you were on top of him.

Shit— was he going to kiss you then? Did you ruin it? You drank half your beer quickly, drowning the thought.

“Aye, you good ma?”

Misreading, Miles kicked himself for letting you find him like this. He thought you were drinking over his injuries.

Grabbing your empty hand, he held it, and looked at you all serious.

“Baby I want you to know that I trust you. And I know you aren’t some moral saint but I gotta let you know something about me that isn’t lawful,”

He was tipsy. You were tipsy. Miles felt his truth flowing from him to you, intoxicating him further. It was just like that first night. He had wanted to kiss you so bad, to do more than that. But you were drunk. Shit, he was drunk too.

He closed his eyes, breathing. Feeling your hand in his, small and un-calloused against his rough skin.

“Y/n. I’m the Prowler,”

Opening his eyes to see your reaction, he was caught off guard by your wide grin.

“…Yknow I could be emo and shit, Morales, and tell you that our relationship is over because you’re some type of vigilante,”

Your words slurred, your eyelids low. You said relationship instead of friendship on purpose. Feeling him hanging off of your words, you kept it slow.

“But…”

You bring both hands to his cut up, bandaged, and tipsy face.

“I know you’re a good person. People gotta do shit they don’t wanna do. I know you worry about your mama and how she’s living—“

You sigh.

“Miles I grew up in Brooklyn. I know how it is. My family survived by doing some illegal shit. I’m not gonna lie and say I love what you’re doing but please don’t d—“

You don’t know when you started crying. Miles wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into a hug. With your face in his neck and hand twisted in his shirt you cry. Embarrassing and ugly, heaves wracking your chest.

“Please don’t die on me, Miles,”

You feel his body shaking, and pull back thinking he’s laughing at you. He’s not. Miles G Morales is crying.

“Oh jevo—“

You don’t think about how easily the name slips from your lips. You pull him into you. His cheek on your chest as he shakes and holds onto you like a life raft.

He falls asleep like that. You, with your back against the cushions, him slotted between your legs with his head on your chest.

Mile’s weight and even breathing puts your to sleep, your fingers caressing the curls at the nape of his neck.

➽──────────────❥

“Hey, Y/n, I love…” Too much.

“What’s up Y/n, are you free later?” Nah, that shit didn’t work last time…

“Do you want to go on a real date sometime Y/n?” Fuck.

Miles drags his hand down his face with a groan. You really have him whipped, cause he’s been standing in front of the mirror for half an hour talking to himself.

A week ago when he’d told you he was the prowler he thought that was progress towards a more… romantic type of relationship.

Almost like he was giving you the amount of trust he needed for this to really work out. Jesus, he needed to man up.

Why is killing people so much easier than asking out the girl you like?

It was almost concerning how easily you accepted him. You were too good for him. You were everything good.

The way you smelled, the way you walked, the way you got along with his mom, the way you always—

*knock knock*

Showed up at the right time.

Miles walked over to the window next to the fire escape and unlocked it. As soon as it was open, you launched yourself at him.

“Hey—hey ma chill!” He exclaimed as he stumbled backwards, arms wrapping around you.

You stared up at him, chin on his chest. After getting off work, you decided to head right over to Mile’s and spill all your feelings.

Your favorite coworker had recently asked out her now boyfriend, and it inspired you to be bold. But…

Now that you were here and wrapped around him, it felt less easy.

“What’s on your mind N/n?” Miles asked, guiding you to sit next to him on his bed.

“Um… I just got off work and wanted to… I dunno. See you, I guess. Sorry. I sound dumb and I definitely smell like frying oil.”

He grinned at you, tucking a stray curl behind your ear.

“How about you shower, mami? You got clothes here. I don’t gotta see Unc until 9.”

You nodded, getting up and turning to hide your dumb smile. Why was he so romantic and handsome? Someone needed to detain you before you jumped his ass.

You walked into the living room in a towel. Miles laid back on the couch watching soccer.

“Hey, Morales, can you tell me where the—“

He turned to look at you, his eyes widening before slapping his hands over his eyes

“Aye mami where yo clothes at!” He shouted turning away from you.

“You never seen a girl naked before Morales?” You quipped.

Usually he would have a response but he seemed almost shy. Weird.

“I put your clothes in the dryer. It’s your nike shorts and that Aaliyah shirt you stole from Ma”

“Cool. Thanks.”

When you arrive back in the living room properly dressed Miles lets out a sigh of relief.

Something in him felt guilty for relishing the glance he caught of you with water droplets still clinging to your skin, and towel stopping at the top of your thighs.

“Do you have a blow dryer?” Your words knock him out of his trance.

“Yeah. Follow me, it’s in the bathroom.”

Miles plugs it into the wall, and you feel a pang in your chest.

“Did your girlfriend leave this here Morales?”

Miles laughs.

“I dunno, did you?” He replies.

That shut you up real quick.

He grabs a boar hair brush and blow drys your wet curls straight section by section. He’s gentle, a soft smile resting on his face as he works.

As he moves to unplug the blow dryer you turn around, facing him with your back against the bathroom counter.

Once again, your find your faces close, his hovering above you now that you’re both standing.

“You got to stop playing with me Miles, or I’m gonna think you’re serious”

“About what, ma?”

“Don’t play dumb. You know I like you and you still—“

“I didn’t know that.” He says softly, breath catching in his throat.

“I didn’t know you liked me.” His hand found your cheek, stroking the soft skin.

“Well..” You say, your voice shaking. “Now you do. So—“

His lips catch yours suddenly, and you gasp into the kiss before leaning into him. Your arms stretch up to wrap around his neck, burying him in your lips.

His hands hold your face, tilting you to the side as his tongue pokes though your lips deepening the kiss. You moan at the action and his takes the opportunity to grab your thighs and set your butt on the counter behind you, putting your faces closer.

His hand finds your lower back and you arch into him as he kisses you dizzy. His lips are soft against yours, and he tastes delicious. His small whimpers send shivers down your spine.

He pulls away suddenly, his eyes lidded as he breathes heavily. His lips are shiny.

“Y/n, you wanna go on a real date sometime?”

“You have to say it first.”

“Say what?”

“I said it, so you have to say it. Say you like me, Morales” You cross your arms across your chest.

He chuckles, hands leaving your thighs to hang at his sides.

“I can’t do that,”

“Why not?” You frown.

“I don’t like you,” The fuck?

“I love you, Y/n. So much.” Miles moves closer to you, kissing you.

It’s softer this time. He pulls away and wraps his arms around you. You do the same, hitting him on the back. He leans back to look at you, tears welling in your eyes.

“Woah, woah, hey ma I’m sorry I shouldn’t have joked like that-“

“I love you Miles Morales.”

His eyes widen and he laughs. You hit him in the shoulder, tears dripping down your face as you cry.

“Why *hick* are you laughing dickhead?!”

“Cause my girl being ridiculous and crying cause she loves me so much.”

“Your girl, huh?” He wipes your tears with his thumbs, drying his hands on his shirt.

“Yeah. You’ve always been my girl. But now we can be kissing and shit”

“And shit?”

“What, you need an example, ma?” You squeal as he hoists you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you back to bed.

➽──────────────❥

Miles wakes up to his 8:30 alarm. The sky is dark. You shift next to him, still asleep. He kisses the top of your head and drags the blanket to your shoulders before getting out of bed to get his Prowler getup on.

He stands in the living room, twisting his mechanical glove onto his hand as he hears you shuffling into the room.

“Miles?” You rub sleep out of your eyes and look at the soft purple glow in the dark room. You’d never seen Miles in his Prowler suit in person. Only on the news.

“Hey ma. I gotta head out for a bit,”

You walk over to him quickly and wrap him in a hug, the cold metal of his claws rest on your back.

“Come back and be safe Morales. I’m not leaving until I see you come back through that window.”

“You got it ma.” He pecks your lips and closes the window, jumping from the fire escape. You sigh, walking back into Mile’s bedroom and tucking yourself alone under the covers.

Gone baby, don’t be long.

➽──────────────❥

first fic🤭 (on this tumblr) pls enjoy and ignore any errors because i am literally just a girl

i also have a 1610!Miles fic in the works. It’s getting long so part 1 may be coming soon. Love ya!

(Actually one last thing: “Debajo de la cama” is also a lyric in Lo Busqué by Ana Bárbara)

[ijustwantogohomehogwarts]

f i r s t | k i s s

f i r s t | k i s s

Regulus gets teased for never having his first kiss, so his best friend helps him out , and breaks a few school rules along the way

warning and such: sort of angst, pretty fluffy, ass!hole!bartycrouchjr, not proofread idk

-----------

"Bloody hell, Regulus! Tell me you're joking!" Barty looked at Regulus before doubling over with laughter, his cup of fire whiskey spilling all over the floor.

A decent number of people in the common room stopped at looked at the group of boys sitting around the fire before returning to the party. I could see from the other size of the room, the clenching of Regulus' jaw, his eyes scanning the room quietly, pausing on me for a moment before dropping his head and continuing to peeling the label off his bottle of mead.

Whatever was said was clearly intended as a joke, but the situation seemed to escalate. Barty quickly stopped laughing and tried to buddy up to the boy sitting next to him. A few younger girls even started flocking around, trying to get much too close for comfort to the boy. It didn't work, rather it seemed to make the situation much worse. Regulus set his bottle down and trudged up the stairs towards the boys dormitory, throwing a middle finger up behind his head at Barty who was begging him to stay and "lighten up" Even Evan was giving Barty shit for what just happened.

I couldn't help but watch the situation, feeling sorry for Regulus and butter at Barty, even though I have no idea what I just witnessed. I excused myself from conversation and made my way towards the staircase, only to be stopped by Evan.

"Leave him be, trust me."

"What the fuck was that all about?"

Evan opened his mouth and closed it again, looking around the room before grabbing my hand and leading me to the quietest corner.

"We we're just trying to have some fun, honest. But you know Barty...always takes shit a little too far."

"Evan?!"

"Regulus has never had his first kiss."

"What?!"

"Barty wanted him to 'take his pick' of the girls," he gestured to the girls who were now throwing themselves all over the remaining boys "but you know Reg..."

"That's disgusting!" My eyes met Barry's and his smile dropped once again. He knew he messed up, alcohol induced or not.

"Look, please don't tell him I told you...I'm sure he's-"

There was a loud, tell tale *crack* of apparition from upstairs before Evan and I looked at each other.

"Gone." we said in unison.

The next few days were tense, Barty tried to apologize to Regulus when he returned but was met with silence. The tension could be felt when they walked into the room, and poor Evan was caught in the middle of it.

"If you ask me, he's just being a twit about it! Just kiss someone and get it over with, eh?" Barty joked, throwing an arm over my shoulders at Lunch later that week.

"You're a pig, Crouch!" I threw his arm off of me, shuttering at the feeling.

"Oh come on, babe! Not you too! Don't be a prude, give us a kiss, yeah?!"

I tried to shove him off, but he had the upper hand. Before I knew it, he squealed like an actual pig, voice gone and hands shrinking drastically. I looked over at Sirius and Remus, who waved, wands still in hand.

"Thank you," I mouthed before getting up and going to join them.

"You okay?" Remus asked, handing me a piece of chocolate.

"All thanks to my knights in shinning armor!"

"What was that all about anyway?"

"Umm,"

We watched at the Slytherin table, McGonagall was coming over to undo the spells. A few students had told her what happened, and she promptly ushered him out of the great hall, dragging him by his ear. They passed Regulus in the doorway, who looked just as confused as everyone else. His eyes scanned the room again, giving a sheepish nod in my direction, though I think it was intended for his brother. He collected Evan and they walked out.

"Don't worry about it. Listen, can you guys help me with something?"

...

I felt confident with the spell after only a few days. Remus and Sirius had already had one in place, and we agreed on the 'don't ask, don't tell' mantra. Now, all that was left to do was put the plan into play.

"Hey, Pandora,"

"Oh, hello y/n. Would you like to sit and have dinner with us? I'm sorry to hear about Barty, what an awful young man!"

"Hopefully we got that taken care of! I actually have something I have to go take care of, but I was wondering if you could pass along a note for me?"

"Of course, love! Who should I give this too?"

"Regulus...please."

"Will he know what to do with it?"

"Yes. Thank you, Pandora!"

"Anytime!"

Merlin, I love her!

I made my way towards the Astronomy tower and waited. Impressively, I wasn't nervous or anxious. I figured this could only go one way, but even if it ended badly, it wouldn't actually be bad. My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps on the stairs behind me.

"You know, there are much closer places to talk!"

"Ahh, but this is half the fun, isn't it Reggie!"

"What...what fun?"

"Where's your favorite place in the whole world?" He shrugged. "Come on, it's not a trick question"

"New York City- Central Park but only when it's-"

I held out my hand, wand in the other and smiled at him.

"You're taking the piss out of me, aren't you?"

"We'll be gone 5 minutes."

"You've gone mental!"

"Don't you trust me?"

He groaned, taking my hand and holding his breath. In the blink of an eye we landed, dead center of Central Park. The street lights were just coming on, and there were hardly any people around.

"What are you playing at? We can't apparate and disapparate at school, how did you even-"

I grabbed his hand, working my fingers in between his. He looked around cautiously. PDA was still something he highly detested, and affection still made him nervous.

"Reggie, I know what Barty said to you, during the last Slytherin party..."

"Oh, for fucks sake! I don't want to talk about it!"

He tried to leave, but I pulled him back. I pulled my wand out and pointed it at the light we stood under. It flickered before a small cloud formed and it because to rain.

"What are you playing at?"

"I wanted to give you the option. Of course you can say no, but if you..wanted..your..first..kiss.. to be with someone who loves you- unconditionally..."

I could see a beautiful color wash over his cheeks behind his hair which beginning to flatted in the rain. He shyly put his hands on my waist and looked up at me, somewhere between asking for permission and what to do next.

"You really did all of this? For me?"

"Of course I did!" My hands now resting on either side of his face.

"And this won't change anything between us?"

I smiled and shook my head. I watched Reg take a deep breath, hold tightly to my back and then-

It was soft, and sweet. We pulled away slowly, and he let his lips linger for a moment. First kiss and already a tease?! Bloody hell! I feel sorry for the girl who falls in love with him!

"Sorry," he chuckled. I put a hand on the back of his neck, encouraging him to keep his head down, our foreheads pressed together. "Can I- can we umm"

"Yeah!" I smiled, pulling him in for another kiss.

The second one was just as sweet, just a little longer and with more meaning behind it.

What are friends for?

[stone-stars]

Illuminate me on music!, I'm not good at it but I like hearing people talking things I don't know. So idk, start anywhere I wanna learn. Gimme music faces from emily's work

lol there's SO many places i could start. first, let me say that i get so in the weeds with this. you don't need to be me. however, murph and emily are really deliberate with their music placement so even if you don't go super deep, you can start to notice patterns, especially with the super frequently used songs.

when it comes to frequent songs, alli operationslipperypuppet also did a very helpful "hey how concerned should you be" breakdown of some common songs, which i'll link here. i would say if you want to start paying attention, some easy ones to check out and start listening for are the purge, unknown tome, kingshammer, valiant ol' cobb, mee maw's burden, a fate refused, the campaign themes, twinkling lights of galaderon, and a friend for life. all of these are available on spotify, with the exception of kingshammer, and have very consistent uses. (the bahumia theme isn't by emily, but is on spotify). if you want to hear kingshammer, a good use of it is around 50 minutes into c1e80, during hardwon's flashback (ad free, so you might have to go later for ads)

another thing to note is certain songs get very specific meanings when applied to given characters. mee maw's burden and unknown tome are used incredibly consistently throughout bev sr's hell arc. twinkling lights of galaderon and a bastard no more/hardwon takes the wheel (both names have been used) are used throughout hardwon's.

emily also tends to write a lot of location-based music. a lot of cities have their own themes and their own instrumentation. a great example of this is the tsunaire interlude from c3, which has a very unique sound. also for example, the crick tends to have a lot of similar instrumentation. if you listen through the crick album on spotify, you can start to hear it. there's a lot of strings/piano, drums, and a lot of notes are drawn out in a very specific way.

it's very consistent. there are also like 200+ songs written for this podcast at this point, and so knowing every one of them is insane. but if you start to be like "i've heard this song before, where did i hear it" chances are it's in a moment that connects thematically. i can go into a lot more detail about any of this, this kinda became a "hey here's how to start tracking naddpod music" post more than anything and not really about the themes/uses of songs, but! yeah!

some fun little bonus notes of songs that are only used a few times but that i am insane about the repetition of:

a song called "torn apart" is used when moonshine opens the rift to the feywild during the tarrasque fight, and also when the world is breaking apart after the thiala fight and the boobs heal it

"i just want to know you're taken care of" is the song that is played when moonshine tells paw paw to write up her will. it's also played when lydia tells her that she deserves to be heard by her friends and she should tell them about her plans in hell. it's also used in c3 when callie tells foster that she's sorry for not giving him love.

"a memory" is introduced in episode 100 as thiala shows everyone the failed past adventurers and the "wheel of sorrow". it has recently been used in c3 for both references to the boobs and to melora's adventuring party (melora/telaine/aryox)

there is a specific royalty free (i think) choral song that plays when gemma appears at the party, when gemma dies, when jaina almost kills hardwon, and then later when hardwon dies at scarlet montgomery's hands. do with this what you will.

this isn't about a reuse but the song that plays in ep 70 when moonshine and lucanus are talking is called "a miracle child" and i need more people to know that.

i am insane about "a glittering reunion" (from melora and telaine's in 97) on so many levels. telaine is the piano. melora is the strings. i need to lay down.

[lovesickonmybed]

Idk if you write male stories but how about Eddie giving Steve a wedgie as a joke; but then Steve moans

We Don't Fight Fair - Steddie | 18+

Summary: Eddie gets a little too drunk after a gig and is a menace to Steve as he tries to take care of him.

Warnings: Drunk Eddie, wedgies, sexual content, mediocre writing.

Word Count: 1138

A/N: I haven’t written any male stories in so long so if this is bad I’m so sorry!! I'm very excited to start writing again though.

Eddie was a little drunk, Corroded Coffin had their biggest crowd yet at The Hideout and he had to celebrate. However, he may have celebrated a little too hard, he was one too many shots deep when Steve had to drag him away from trying to play another song. His arm slung around Eddie’s waist as he hauls him away from the stage, practically acting as security for The Hideout.

“C’mon Stevie, they loved me! Just one more!” Eddie pleads, slurring his words slightly. His cheeks are flush and he tries, and fails, to make his way back onto the stage. He tries to make a break for it but Steve just grabs him tighter.

“Eddie, your band is already gone! As great as you are, I doubt these people need an encore right now!” Steve argues, dragging Eddie to the door with ease. The sight is ridiculous, Steve in his preppy polo shirt dragging Eddie, his belly button piercing and hip tattoos on display thanks to his low rise jeans and cropped tank top.

“Stevie baby, they looooove me,” Eddie giggles, grabbing Steve’s face in his hands, squishing his cheeks. 

Steve rolls his eyes and pulls Eddie's hand off his face. He finally gets Eddie out the door, “They did earlier, I doubt they’ll love you when you’re drunk off your ass trying to slur your way through another Dio song. Trust me you’re better when you’re sober.” 

“Shut up! I’m great when I’m drunk!” Eddie begins mumbling the lyrics to Eat Your Heart Out by Dio, slurring his way through it just like Steve said he would. His theatrical hand movements that he always makes while he sings make it a little more difficult for Steve to wrangle him but he’s definitely dealt with worse before. 

Robin was way worse after the class graduation party, he had never been covered in so much puke in his life. As it turns out if you put your drunk best friend over your shoulder to carry her out to your car then she will in fact puke down your back! He’s still slightly traumatized from that. 

“Steve, don't you just love my singing? I bet I could make it big time,” Eddie giggles, knocking his head into Steve’s shoulder.

“Your singing is great Eds, I know you’ll make it big time. But right now why don’t you focus on helping me get you into the car so we can get you home safe? Can you do that for me?”

“Hmm what do I get out of it?” Eddie asks, smiling mischievously up at Steve.

“You get home safely and you don’t end up getting banned from the only bar that lets you play right now. That sounds pretty nice if you ask me,” Steve says, trying to convince Eddie to behave.

“Yeah, yeah, sounds nice Steve,” Eddie mumbles, starting to cooperate with Steve.

Steve unlocks the van and helps Eddie into the passenger seat, “Such a gentleman,” Eddie giggles.

Steve chuckles and gets into the drivers side, he looks over at Eddie who is digging through his tapes to find something to put on, “Hey, put your seatbelt on, we get pulled over enough in this thing as it is.” 

“Whatever you say, dad,” Eddie says sarcastically, buckling up and continuing to dig through his tapes.

Steve starts up the van and starts on the way to Eddie's trailer. Eddie finally finds a tape to listen to and puts on Songs The Lord Taught Us by The Cramps. He turns the volume up way too loud and sings ever louder, causing Steve to turn the volume all the way down. “Eddie, what the hell?! I’m trying to drive, are you trying to scare the shit out of me or something?” He yells.

“Oh come on Steve, I just wanna listen to some good music,” Eddie pouts.

“Just listen to it a little bit quieter man!”

“Fine, fine…”

Eddie is respectful for the rest of the ride, listening to the music and singing along much quieter.

Once they arrive back at Eddie’s trailer Eddie hops out of the van, almost eating shit on the gravel of his driveway. He runs towards the door, waiting for Steve to hurry up and lock up the van and unlock the door. “Come on Stevie, I need to piss!” Steve throws Eddie the house keys and locks up the van. Eddie runs inside and heads straight for the bathroom.

Steve comes inside and locks up, he heads to Eddie’s room and starts to change his clothes, he strips off his shirt and jeans, grabbing a pair of Eddie's sweatpants to wear for the night. He’s bent over and slipping on the sweatpants when Eddie dashes up behind him and giggles.

“Tighty whities, really Harrington?” Eddie teases.

Before Steve can even think of a response Eddie grabs Steve's waistband, curling his fingers around the band and pulling up hard. The white cotton shoots up, lodging itself between his cheeks. Steve’s eyes screw shut and his cheeks go red, before he can stop himself he lets out a soft moan. 

Eddie freezes, still holding Steve’s waistband in his hands. He doesn’t know what to say or what to do. Steve is in full panic mode, his pants are down and his underwear is stuck between his cheeks, and he just moaned from a goddamn wedgie.

“D-Did you just-” 

“Shut up.”

Eddie bites his lip and tugs at Steve’s waistband again, forcing the fabric further up his ass. This time Steve whines pathetically, he can feel himself getting hard no matter how much he tries to fight it. He’s imagining all the worst things he can to try and make it go away but it’s no use.

“You like this don’t you, Stevie?” Eddie teases.

“S-Shut up…please…”

“Make me, wedgie boy,” Eddie laughs.

Steve doesn’t bother hiding his arousal now, groaning, “Fuck…”

Eddie laughs, “This gets you off doesn’t it? So fucking ironic, you used to be King Steve, your friends would go around terrorizing people, giving them wedgies but you just watched. Bet you wished it was you getting the wedgies, huh?”

“I-I-” Steve has no idea how to respond, nobody was ever supposed to find out that he liked this. It was supposed to stay between him and his underwear drawer. 

Eddie pulls one more time before shoving Steve onto his bed, face first. “I’m gonna remember this for later, Stevie. For now why don’t you pick your tighty whities out of your ass...nerd,” He mocks.

Steve has never felt more embarrassed and turned on in his life, his cock is hard and his face is flush. “Can you take care of my other problem, Eds?” Steve asks, nodding down towards his hard on.

“I guess I could show you some pity, wedgie boy.”

[florallylly]

side b: steve harrington

side a side a: eddie munson

side b

explanation post

FORGET THE FORMATTING!!! PLS BE QUIET!!! anyways into steve harrington. his playlist is SAUR bubblegum lesbian pop. and tbh i really tried to kind of blend new/old in side a with eddie and make it smth MAYBE he would listen to? but steve, i automatically pegged him as 80s pop and lesbian music like. you probably listen to bruce springsteen but in my heart u know who rina sawayama is. anyways yes steve harrington coping through partying and then falling in lurv.

YES he admits it as soon as it happens bc he's emotionally intelligent and he knows himself thank u for coming to my ted talk

“Perfect Places” Lorde; “Have another drink, get lost in us/this is how we get notorious” “Every night, I live and die/meet somebody, take ‘em home” YEAH…. steve harrington coping post season-2 and stancy break up by  partying and drinking and sleeping around. like i see it…. i was there and it’s so. desperation to find peace and eventually settling for oblivion bc nothing is better than everything 

“Heaven/Hell” CHVRCHES; this song is so steve harrington to me i can’t even describe…. like it’s so disillusionment with his former sense of self and what he used to attach importance to. and he feels like a fraud and also an imposter, surrounded by people who he’s outgrown. and somehow it also feels like no one has truly realized that vital shift. it’s SAUR “is it right if i’m a perfect actress/playing the princess in distress?” “is it alright if i save myself and/if i clean up my own mess” IDK. why is that so steve to me. 

“Stand Back” Stevie Nicks; like LIKE this song is so everyone wants me except for you/you’re the only one i want. idk…. steve harrington this is so you to me. he is so pining he is so what if he is so i built our future in my head and now everything is crumbling down around me. you have changed me so deeply that i can never go back to the same person i was before i met you. and the world around me stays stagnant and stuck in time, with me out like a sore thumb. like i’m sobbing crying frothing at the mouth…. 

“Head Over Heels/Broken” Tears for Fears; a classic… a classic… but also like a little mashup moment to make it narratively appropriate in my head. also the applause at the end is giving the curtains are down the performance is over… king steve lays down his crown… AM I INSANE IN THIS MOMENT… 

“Honey Understand” Noso; to me this is a little bit of a moment like if i’m misinterpreting this song wrong SO embarrassing. but literally?? i think it’s so steve… bc it’s like in any break up it’s always going to be him at fault because he’s the ladies man and the popular jerk. he’s always going to be made out to be a villain in certain people’s eyes. like what am i even saying but you get it right… and it’s like how can i even keep fighting when i’m already crumbling apart. but also you’ll never know bc i’ll never let anyone know how bad it is … i’m unwell 

“Deliverance” CHVRCHES; i think this is actually about religion (maybe?) but i’m thinking of it as more of a general framework or life view that steve held before the upside down. he’s had to rethink what’s important and what matters like fr…. and now that he’s spending more time with eddie and realizing things about… naur it’s like this moment is his watershed moment and he’s being set free of smth like… his king steve persona?? his guilt over barb?? any other head canon ??? or maybe it’s like his fucked up coping viewed as something that’s bringing him back to his “normal” self… like back 2 parties back 2 alcoholism 

“Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight” ABBA; like YEAH of course this song is on here. and it’s so hello steve harrington are you on the prowl are you looking for something so you can actually feel something

“Take Me Home Tonight” Eddie Money; pretty self explanatory like… steve harrington you are turning to sex to distract yourself and chasing the way you felt before. also in comparison to gimme gimme gimme, this is a more self aware reflection like. post nut clarity. but also in my head this is steve harrington meeting with eddie munson s2 and making the impulsive decision to follow him literally anywhere, kick starting everything that follows. 

“Yours” Now, Now; attraction bantering cockiness like it’s all there like it’s everything… it’s everything…. 

“Untouched” The Veronicas, I DON’T CARE IF IT DOESN’T FIT … this song is so important to me and it’s saur…. steve harrington you are getting attached steve harrington you are falling in love. to be clear this is before they get together or do anything like…. this is the pining this is the wanting 

“Don’t You Want Me” The Human League; so basically added for vibes, didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics and meaning. IT’S JUST SO …. 80s pop and 80s pop is so steve. HOWEVER i feel like i can use this as my little soap box bc “you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar… turned you int someone new/now five years later on, you’ve got the world at your feet” is saur nancy and “the five years we have had have been such good at times, I still love you/ but now, i think it’s time i lived my life on my own” is SAUR steve. like nancy wheeler in s4 reflecting on steve’s changes and the fandom’s reflection of pushing this narrative that nancy was the main reason and the greatest influence on steve’s change. my pet peeve…. let’s not forget the trauma he went through that could have shook his entire worldview. also ??? he’s a big boy with his own thoughts let him have a little ponder. i would add more but i’m not capable of totally explaining this at all JUST !!! ugh but yeah steve harrington you are attracted to eddie munson song

“Forever Tonight” Kelechi; “love me like there’s no tomorrow/kiss me like we’re out of time” DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING??? I AM IN REAL PAIN!!! 

“I Was Made For Lovin’ You” KISS; KEYSTONE SONG. yes they fucked yes they fucked. and OKAY idc if it’s cheesy YOU try to fit in a semi-metal song into your 80s/lesbian pop playlist

“Lay All Your Love On Me” ABBA; OMG …. it is so necessary. that is all. LIKE SO NEEDED. 

“Hungry Eyes” Eric Carmen; it’s literally from dirty dancing like what else can i say… steve harrington is having his little romcom moment. honestly he’s practically one of the brat pack. he’s LIVING it he’s living it

“Keep on Loving You” REO Speedwagon; okay they were killing on anniversaries i just know it. like this is so my parent’s wedding. it’s so puffed sleeve dresses and slow dancing at prom and steve is a ROMANTIC. steve is a ROMANTIC in a small midwest town like. where was his prom king moment 

“Seven Wonders” Fleetwood Mac; lowkey a filler song but yes can anything compare to the beauty of this moment something very romantic. this is on the mixtape for sure 

“(Don’t Fear) The Reaper” Blue Oyster Cult; ONCE AGAIN I KNOW IT DOESNT FIT THAT WELL… but this is a keystone song… a metal song forcefully inserted into the playlist. this is supposed to mark the point where steve falls in love love. but what i got from the song is basically like. we’re going to die anyways let’s just fall in love. i’m sure that’s way simplistic but vibe… 

“Horses” Maggie Rogers; sorry I’m…. gay….? and it’s like it’s like it’s like i wanna be free i wanna be free with you do you wanna be free with me. in a more romantic and AHHHH way but like how do i even begin to try and describe how this song makes me feel like… unreal. but it’s also like a little stop for steve to doubt and think about what he’s feeling and deciding to do ??? idk where i was going with that. but yes my little interlude for pondering

“Black Butterflies and Deja Vu (Acoustic)” The Maine; keystone song keystone song. when steve admits he is in lurv of course. chose the acoustic version bc i feel like it fits better and also i think it’s more of a soft realization for steve rather than the absolute car wreck that is eddie. please understand my thoughts immediately 

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/25/22

where the fuck were we

listening

Tongue by Rêve. i do not care for this latex aurra sing album art, but this instantly went on the "somebody come fuck this (GAY)" playlist. a fun danceable party bop about oral. other than a concerning line regarding "gamey like venison", what more can you ask for. spotify

Yeah Yeah Yeah by Blood Orchid. starts out with some very straightforward drums and then gets SLUDGY. this makes me want to sing along with the chorus with as much vocal fry as i can manage. i think the band is american, but the pronunciation of "yeah" is something i have only heard from posh brits? i think it works here. spotify

Praising You (feat. Fatboy Slim) by Rita Ora. this is somewhere between a cover and a reimagining? fun if you already know and like the original, fun if you don't. short, peppy, got me through a lot of mopping on saturday. spotify

reading

very long title by susan pinsky. checked this out mostly for any advice on moving, which was limited to two paragraphs that said "get rid of everything possible, the most efficient packing is not always the thing that will get you through a move in one piece, hire people to do everything for you if possible". this was unhelpful to me.

the author is not adhd, but is writing it out of the experience of having an adhd daughter and a ton of clients who probably had adhd. it feels like it is largely geared toward people who have a wife or child with adhd. while the version i read had been updated, it did feel very out of date at several points, especially with regards to calendaring/planning systems and (if possible) forcing everyone to call you at your home phone so you can check your wall calendar that you keep on your wall and not double book yourself. like what.

while i had independently derived some of the specific tips through great trial and error and much of the book simply did not apply to me, it did give some interesting background on why specific things (open storage, clear bins, open shelving, the concept of having one or two shelves free as a staging area in each place you have shelves) work with rather than against us.

i can see this being useful to someone who has recently been diagnosed as an adult, or is managing a family with multiple adhd/otherwise neurodivergent members, but i certainly wouldn't buy it. her big thing is Get The Fuck Rid Of Your Shit while not really providing a lot of pointers on how to go about that, so i could see how pairing this with one of marie kondo's books might be helpful? neither pinsky nor kondo really give a whole lot of advice on like "so you're an adult, here are things adults have in their house to make their lives easier" so perhaps a third unknown book might complete the perfect trilogy. idk man. im cranky her advice about moving was half a page.

Witches, Princesses, and Women at Arms, a collection of erotic lesbian fairytales edited by Sacchi Green. this was objectively fine. i skipped one completely bc it would have been a fucking hysterical short skit but did NOT translate to the page at all. as is ever the case with anthologies, some of them were decent, some of them not so much, almost none will stick in my brain even though there was some very nice butch representation. the one that does stick in my brain, Woodwitch by M. Birds about a princess trying to break a familial curse re: war, and a witch who follows the army, was memorable more for its leadup and acknowledgement of how a marching army works? like yeah! historically that is how armies move and camp and feed themselves huh, this is surprisingly well-researched for lesbian erotica!

the level of explicit erotica is...sort of on the same level as most modern f/f fic? this came out a good five years ago and people sure are having sex on the page, but there's a lot of metaphor and various other veiled imagery.

unfortunately, i want to read about women gettin absolutely nasty with it. i want to read about a pussy written with the same fervor as the average m/m cock in fanfic.

it's misogyny is what it is.

watching

rewatched For A Few Dollars More (1965, dr. Leone). in my heart he fucked that old man

You Can't Win Em All (1970, dir. Collinson) bc a very western-ish screenshot had me absolutely baffled about why a mauser was in a western. this is not a western, this is about some american mercenaries during the 1922 turkish civil war. this is not a very good movie (my main beef is that it spends twenty minutes trying to convince itself why its leads should work together, and the contrivance it lands on isn't particularly compelling or comprehendible after carting through us a whole bunch of other failed inciting incidents). this movie doesn't even manage enjoyably bad, but it sure is a spectacle of a war movie. great calvary columns riding through the prettiest goddamn landscapes you've ever seen. all forms of transportation are covered, including "armored train" and "trio of biplanes". my personal tolerance for exotic travelogue movies is fairly high, yours may not be.

if you want an actual cowboy western with different triple-crossing american mercenaries played by burt lancaster and gary cooper, Vera Cruz (1954, dir. Aldrich) is like a proto-revisionist western? quite a bit darker than i expected for 1) an american western made in 2) 1954

playing

sort of tied in with the making section-- i am deeply unhappy with how much time i am spending with fallou/t 4 bc it is not a game that makes me happy. however, the startup cost to finding a new game that makes me happy is pretty steep. so i spent some time on saturday flinging games into various folders, bc i forgot that was a thing steam lets you do now. maybe a different organizational system will fix me.

do not need to look at again: lots of demos and prologues from my old job, a couple things that aren't on steam anymore, some stuff that came in bundles that i'm not interested in, any strategy games.

done: my time with this game is at an end but i may want to return to a handy list to remind myself of what i have finished. lots of short indie experiences, wolfen/stein the new order, night in the woods, the portals, firewatch, things of this nature

old faithfuls: fnv, fo4, dishonored, sable bc i love simply zooming about.

hard bounce: this is mostly to make myself stop trying to click with hollow knight. i am never going to like fiddly platformers. and that's okay.

try again later: i'm deeply annoyed i'm not clicking with hardspace shipbreaker bc on paper it's the perfect fucking game for me. in practice even after fucking around with all the sensitivities it's still too fiddly for me. i need much, much more forgiving games with a shotgun-close-enough mentality.

making

important moving prep: cleaned out the storage unit that still had the dregs of my last move plus boxes from three grandparents and my mom. this took three full fuckin days bc it was extremely hot, i had to stop to cry a bunch, and a lot of goodwill trips.

the great thing about siblings is that if you've been caretaking a family heirloom that makes you feel weird due to your fractious relationship with the dead person in question, you can foist it off to a sibling who had a completely different less fractious relationship with the dead person in question.

once again i have failed to take a pic of the baby blanket in real daylight but we are slowly chugging along, halfway through repeat 6/10

[bastardtrait]

great big get 2 know me post

i promise everyone that has tagged me in things that i did not ignore them! thanks for tagging me friends <3 love u all and if anyone sees this and wants to do it, please, use this post an excuse

5 songs i actually listen to - tagged by @airbussy-a330!

when you get this, you have to write down 5 songs you actually listen to and post them. then send this (ask or tag) to 10 cool people

アイド/ルIdol - YOASOBI

Do not touch - MISAMO

小幸运/A little happiness - Hebe Tien

死ぬのがいいわ/Alright with dying - Fujii Kaze

Replay - Iyaz (I know it's a meme but it's also a banger ok)

people you'd like to get to know better - tagged bt @thegloomiestwhim and @beebeesiims!

last song: Do not touch - MISAMO

favourite colour: yellow, as it's been for the last couple years!

currently watching: Demon Slayer but idk if I'll keep going lol...

last movie: Scooby Doo on Zombie Island LOL

currently reading: The Colour Purple by Alice Walker

sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury

last thing I googled: the business hours of a restaurant nearby

current obsession: nothing, I think

currently working on: editing Nova gen 6 and playing gen 7

feelings tag, sims edition - I am borrowing this from @akitasimblr bc it was just so interesting to think about.

"The boss of EA is in front of you asking for one statement about The Sims before he goes away and makes TS5. What do you say to him?"

was Journey to Batuu worth it you motherfucker?

"Do your Sims know you as their Sim God or are you the invisible deity to them?"

I mean I occasionally break the 4th wall and sometimes my sims seem to be aware that they are sims. but if I'm being serious about it then I'm really just an impartial camera in their lives. a detached third party. like even what I write for the Lucky stories are determined by dice rolls and not me lol so. I don't think of myself as a deity.

"How do you see yourself connected to your Sims? Do those of you who say you love them, really mean this? How deep is your game?"

well, seeing as I'm still playing these games and I'm still largely enjoying them, yeah I'm pretty connected to them. although if TS5 really is live service or whatever then I'm really not going to play it lol.

I think of some sims I've had, some of their stories and their lives, and yeah I get a lil bit emo. the same goes for my friends' sims! I miss them too. as for depth...I mean I dunno it's probably not all that deep for me. I think the sims is just a toy. I don't necessarily want too much of real life to seep into it bc real life sucks ass.

"What’s your Sims Secret? Is there something going on in your game that none of your screenshots will ever tell us? WHO IS LOCKED IN YOUR BASEMENT? What are those secret Sims doing behind closed doors?"

girl I post my sims fucking, there is nothing secret going on there lmfao. sometimes I revert to my TS1 days and pick sims that piss me off and put them in Hazardous Situations. I'm looking at you knox greenburg.

"Can we learn anything from our Sims to take away for our real lives? And/or can you give us an example of how The Sims has influenced you outside of gaming?"

this is MILDLY ironic but also kinda not: you know how in TS4 sims' moods change on the flip of a dime and they go through it multiple times a day? even bad moodlets have an end to them, and at the end of it your sim is just ... Fine. it'll be alright.

[nerves-nebula]

what made your first year of college so much worse than the second?

godddd where do i even start. Complaining goes under the cut cuz it’s too damn long.

8 hour studios 3 times a week that start at 8 AM and only break for lunch. one of the professors expected us to stand the entire time we were drawing and only sit when we went on break. plus homework for those studios, because each studio was a different foundational class. and on the days when you dont have those studios you got other foundational classes like art history and literature or something. you've got homework for all of these classes too and tests and everything.

and each studio being a different class is a huge issue and really frustrating as well. the classes are drawing, design and, like, basically a 3D class, right? where you use power tools and carve stuff and all that. But imagine you go to this school for painting or to make clothes, then the three foundational classes might just really bore and frustrate you. because you don't really feel like they're helping you gain any skills in your preferred major.

so you have all these artistic kids who want to do their best, being forced to do things they hate and being told it's to make us "more well rounded." (which dont get me wrong i understand, but that doesnt make it suck any less)

so all the art you make is painful to create, and you don't even like the result. but we knew what we signed up for, and the point is to last past first year so you can get into your major. thats the point for me, at least. so you just get what you can done, but i cant imagine what I would've done if i'd fallen behind even once.

And then my own personal hell- being in a new place and not knowing what to do or who to talk to or how to communicate ! So i was constantly stressed out in like a social way. idk if i vented about this here but i fell over in a fit of anxiety and hyperventilation in class multiple times first year. I straight up fell over at least twice and i had crying fits multiple times (with varying degrees of how quiet I was being, sometimes they don't even notice :D)

I was incredibly emotionally isolated and cried myself to sleep like every night. my only social interactions were at work because I'm very bad at socializing properly and making friends in class, and i was always too tired to go to any events. LUCKY for me I met a really cool friend while doing some student work and it was really nice and chill.

ANYWAY BACK TO THE STRESS. to give an example of the situation: our first homework for drawing class was to make this big ink master copy of a van gogh sketch, and it didn't have to be perfect, or even GOOD tbh, but regardless it took forever. and i spilled my ink on it which nearly led to a breakdown but instead i just laughed cause otherwise I'd go insane. the amount of podcasts and audiobooks i burned through that year just to keep myself sane was mind-numbing. i listened to, no joke, ALL of Well There's Your Problem, and i went back and listened to a lot of them more than once.

i was really lucky though, cause some other students had first projects that were like "bring in 50 drawings by next class" or "make a chair out of only cardboard that you can sit on without it collapsing" or something. and i never had a teacher that bad.

actually, my second semester design professor was really REALLY chill. He let me sleep in class if i finished the work so I spent a few hours in his class just chilling and sleeping fitfully (as in I was so stressed i would gasp and mutter myself awake, which really alarmed my classmates but i never got close enough to them to explain myself soooo they prolly just think something is wrong with me. which it is! oh well)

i can only speak for myself but i was basically working any moment i wasn't sleeping, eating, shitting, or showering. somehow other people made time to befriend each other and hang out and like, go to parties??? i dont know how. Frankly I don't even remember how i did what i did either, specifically I reached out to my college's mental health services and got on some medication for anxiety. I also somehow managed to write an essay for our student published thingy about how I wanted to kms and felt unsupported by mental health professionals lmao.

I have NO IDEA how i did any of that because this year i kept falling asleep for five hours in the middle of the day. my theory is that I got more done because I physically HAD TO STAY AWAKE. I COULD NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL.

I was so stressed out the first year that I often couldn't sleep without hugging my giant elephant stuffed animal or using it as a comforting weight on top of me. one morning i woke up hyperventilating and went to go cut a huge role of paper at like 6 AM because i was so worried about forgetting to cut the paper before i left before class at 8 AM.

so yeah, my theory is that since second year wasn't that insanely stressful, all those hours i spent eking out any artistic joy possible (making owl house comics, writing that essay, and painting my clothing) just to make sure i didn't kms were replaced instead with me just falling asleep at inopportune times, because I wasn't as scared that I wouldn't have time for my work.

OH MY GOD AND FIRST YEAR I GOT PUT IN TWO CONSECUTIVE GROUP PROJECTS WITH THIS ABSOLUTE MONSTER- but that could be its entire own post. suffice it to say that he had been reported multiple times for various things and one of my classmates recognized who i was talking about just from me vaguely complaining about how much i hated him.

anyway im sure there's even more that i forgot about but to be honest i think i've explained enough.

[nathank77]

11/30/24

3:31 p.m

Liv is going to give it another month. She's dumb. Skye is controlling. The faster she gets out the better before skye fucks her up for life. My sister ruins people. Me and her came from the same at home life. And we both got fucked up in different ways. She uses people and breaks them down and makes them reliant on her. I'm just a poor loser that no one loves with many flaws but I dont use people.

My mother is making the chicken. She told us both about it a couple days ago. She obviously wants us to eat it with her. I feel bad cause like if only she didn't have dirty Riley. That's the thing. I don't want to sit in the dining room and have to wash my clothes and overanalyze if I have poison ivy on them. I don't want to worry about if she pet Riley while she was cooking. I don't want to worry about if the chicken is fully cooked... it's also hard sitting with someone who pops a Xanax everytime she talks to you aka yells at you for existing. She was saying earlier she's calling for more xanax or she's going back to drinking. 1000% blaming me. She took a Xanax when I got home...

I shaved my head and face bc I'm going to my dad's tomorrow. I showered and did my grind and I almost regret going to the gym but not really... just that it's 3 p.m now and I'm almost done grinding my daily routine out of the way.

I don't regret it bc it was better than listening to Riley bark and whine and also having my mother yell at me. When I was washing my glasses Riley barked and it scared me and my arm jumped up and my glasses hit the faucet so I had to wash them even more.

I feel bad not eating with my mother. But I mean there is so many facets to it if Riley never lived here. With Riley it's like 5000 more facets of anxiety.... she called it her special chicken cause when I was a kid I used to call her rotisserie chickens special chicken.

I guess i could talk to her while she eats... but I mean it's hard.

My family doesn't even care that it's my t-date. It's been 13 years today. I got to make my voice video and comparison video. I may make a 13 years changes video but idk. I want to play minecraft... I was wrong about bo4 hardcore barebones... I guess it's this upcoming week...

Idk i feel depressed. I have no one to celebrate my t day with and I mean I wish Riley would just go to another family so I can cope with the lingering poison ivy fear and not the constant poison ivy fear.

I wrote a long message to Mike asking for a referral. He ignored me. Go figure. Ghosted. I'm just really depressed. I couldn't even have a party to celebrate my t day cause I can't get drunk or get high...

So I legit am just having a red bull and I'll record myself and play some minecraft i guess. I got anxiety about going to my dad's. Mostly just being able to poop in time bc it's earlier at 12.... and having time to cook before bc they don't feed us anymore when we go there. They'll wait it out until 7 p.m not even feeding the kids. I know they got money problems... I'll leave around 3 or 4... I'm worried about it getting dark and driving home.

Some good news... my arms and forearms and all that feel fine. I guess machine day the way I did it was actually effective and not damaging. If only I could figure out how to make dumbbell day like that. I can't but If I could I could probably work my arms tomorrow.... but I wouldn't anyways regardless of dad's bc I want to work hard and not overdo anything.

I just wish I didn't feel crushed by this depression and feel so trapped and so alone. I wish I could celebrate my t day and I wish I could have Riley taken. I got to think that one over. I get yelled at all the time anyways but it's going to get real fucking ugly if Riley get removed for animal abuse... which is what I'm thinking they are going to try to do since they are willing to override her needing shots and bloodwork and the meet and greet... it will result in me getting evicted...

It'll be so much worse. I mean she may start drinking again. I mean I don't even want to know how bad it'll get... I mean I wrote everything.... about her eating all that stuff and us not being able to get her a cat scan.. about my mother and her Xanax problem and Riley getting out the front door. I wrote about how all our dogs die slow and painful deaths and never get taken to the vet. I mean I wrote the fucking gambit bc I wanted them to know that Riley is going to die if they don't save her.

But if I save her, I'm getting evicted.