gayteensupreme

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@notahorseindisguise

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lore dropping is kinda crazy because sometimes when I’m mid conversation I realize that actually did happen to me

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sundays rule number 1: DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE

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FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 1965: After five years and seventy million dollars we have invented a new type of plastic that prevents communists from being able to climb ladders too fast

FEDERAL RESEARCH LAB SCIENTIST IN 2025: My cure for cancer was shelved because it might benefit Hispanics

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So January was 17 weeks long. And February is 3 and a half horrifying days. Do I have that right?

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It's really important when you're at work to go out there and really give it your 60%. Maybe 35%.

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puppies go up the stairs! (disaster)

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Walter Street, Takapau, Hawke's Bay, New Zealand.

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remember when elomusk asked one of his rocketship employees to give him sex favors in exchange for a horse

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las vegas is a special kind of horrifying compared to the rest of the southwest because you get three different flavors of horror all together. there’s the strip, obviously, the hypnosis of the casinos. you know they intentionally don’t put clocks in casinos? and they put mirrors wherever they can? they’re trying to disorient you so you stay inside. they’re trying to trap you. and the casinos are different but they’re all the same underneath, slots and shows and roulette wheels, the same bones in different bodies. but then you get outside the strip and you’re in the suburbs. it’s flat. barely anything outside the strip is more than two, maybe three storeys. everything is in a strip mall. the houses are identical wherever you go. even the schools - there are two major architectural blueprints for high schools in las vegas. if you’ve been inside one school you can navigate them all. it’s all the same and it’s all normal, in defiance of the neon of the strip. (you can see the beacon from the luxor from anywhere in the city, you can always find your way to the strip, but- is that better, than being somewhere that you know? somewhere that’s the same wherever you go?) and then of course if you step too far outside you’re in the desert. much further and you’re in the mountains. the suburbs are creeping out further and further, taking over, but there will always be desert. summer will always be 120 degrees. there will always be heat and scorpions on the edges and no matter how far you push out you will not be able to build on the mountains. no matter how hard you try the desert will find you. and none of these things are mutually exclusive, not as much as you think. there are slot machines in grocery stores. there are houses behind casinos. there is undeveloped desert in the center of everything, reminding you that the desert was not built to hold you, the desert was not built for this, you should not be here. you shouldn’t be here.

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Doctor calls you with your bloodwork results and just says “I’m really mad at you” and then hangs up

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cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

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hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you

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reblog game where you #cancel the previous person for something completely arbitrary

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I firmly believe that my (Chinese) mom is more Italian than my (Italian) dad. She earned multiple advanced degree in Italian history and studied abroad to learn how to speak the language fluently. She fought for it. The hell did he ever do? He grew up eating slightly more pasta than other kids in the United States. He was born into it. Fucking nepo Italian