#idk what he's crying about exactly
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@optimst sent ? and got "i'm not crying"
"i'm not!" alex said, wiping at his eyes. the last time he had cried like this in front of izzy was when he had to say goodbye to ava, and that was years ago now. yeah, him and izzy were closer now but it was still embarrassing. all his life alex was told to be a man and toughen up, and this was the exact opposite of that. he took a few deep breaths and waited for his heart rate to go back to normal. he wouldn't say it aloud any time soon, but izzy sitting next to him helped him feel better too. "okay, okay, i'm done," he said, wiping at his cheeks to make sure he had stopped crying.
send me a question mark for a random prompt
#my guy needs therapy yesterday#☼ alex karev#optimst#idk what he's crying about exactly#maybe his family
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ARCANE EPISODE 7!!!!
MY GOD I WASNT READY FOR ANY OF THIS!!! WHAT WAS THAT!!!
Also ekko wallpaper I got with my fries lmao
#OH MY GOOOD!!!!!! POWDER AND EKKO!!! AND BENZOOOOOO#ITS LITERALLY WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN OMGG!!!!! POWDER LOOKS SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭 IM CRYING ALREADYYYY#VANDER WITH A BUN!! AND EVERYTHING IS SO FULL OF LIGHT!!! HER EYES!!! MYLO LOOKS SO RIDICULOUS AKDJSK THIS GIRLAAA#“where would you be without her” WELL BUDDY IF YOU KNEW HOW HE IS WITH HER!!! VI IS DEAD????? OR SHE WAS TAKEN FOR THE INCIDENT!!!#LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID JAYCE!!! MY GOD!!! THE GEMS KILLED VI SO THEY JUST COMPLETELY PROHIBITED THEM!!! JAYCE IS IN JAIL PROBABLY!!#the fact we are seeing exactly why jayce should be sorry about what he has done.... and we are seeing him suffer because of it... cinema 🚬#also mel fading into viktor.... also has he realised how she manipulated him in the beggining??? there is so much stuff...#jayce eating contaminated animals and his wound being infected with the arcane too..... is that what will push him....#omg.... ekko likes powder so much... he apologised by painting actual adult vi portraits where the fallen are in his universe 😭😭😭#“she looks so badass” if you knew... is he gonna ask her to help him make hextech.... that is so sick and twisted....#also jayce hurting his leg loke viktor and having to use a cane and brace.... damn and you know whats worse..... that ekko could be like#this with the jinx of his universe IF ISHA HADNT DIED!!! AND IT IS BEACUSE OF JAYCE!! AGAIN!!!!! THIS MAN!!!!!#the drawing with the anomaly and the two men and the inifite symbol... we get it... jayce and viktor forever intertwined by fate....#powder is sensing something is off.... omg time travel..... THE LIMIT IS FOUR SECONDS AFTER HEIMERDINGER EPXLODED ALDHAKSHSKSJSOJSOSLS#i dont want a time travel ending.... if its done for plot to an extent is okay but idk about solving it all.... it makes it feel worhtless#claggor looks so fine its not even funny..... i cant wait to see what everyone thinks. WHERE IS THE LITTLE LADY bc hes called little man 😭#and vander with arm tattoos.... why did they hipster fied him.... he looks younger somehow ajdhakj he went from taking care of 4 kids to 3!#SILCO!!!! AND HE DID TRY TO KILL HIM!! ALSJAKSKAK Ekko just laighing at it.... girl i would be pissed STROMAE??? OMG POWDER!!!!#I JUST REALIZED THE PINK IN HER HAIR IS FOR VI!! AND HER JACKET!! AND A DRESS LIKE HER MOTHER'S!! CRYING!!! FULL BODY CHILLS!!!#CAN WE JUST PRETEND LIKE ITS THE FIRST TIME!!! I GAVE UP ON YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN I NEED TO KNOW!!! IM SOBBING!!! EKKO!!!!#NOOOOOOO THE ANOMALY NOOOOO!!!! HEIMERDINGER NOOOOO!!!! AND THATS JAYCE!!! IS THAT MAGE VIKTOR???? the monkeys......#the vi toy with the out love song machine.... my god i wasnt expecting any of this i need to breathe i am stil tearing up my god#what a fucking punch in the stomach christ i cant breathe right akdhsksso#the credits saying the deries has benefited from a spanish tax rebate in the canary islands??? you're welcome i guess lmao#animation production carried out there and has ben collaboration with the Spanish gov... alright another win for perro sanxe#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#watching this i dont think im ready for caitvi sex.... after reconciliation even like what will be of me.... now im scared#i am still scared bc idk what happened to jinx and vi and cait still... thats what worried me and boom!! ekko powder with the steel chair..
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every time i start to think things might be looking up with my dad some bullshit happens that makes the guilt kick right back in again
#thots et al#googles 'is it possible to save your father'#he was just starting to get more exercise and feel healthier and he says he broke his toe???#i just dont know what to do man#i already blame myself for his most recent episode because i didnt care for him enough#and im gonna blame myself for whatever happens next too#because every day i go around knowing full well my father is miserable and alone but being too selfish to care enough to visit#i just finally made a date with him too#idk man#lately not a lot makes me full-on cry but thinking of him is so fucking painful im always crying over him#i wish i knew how to deal with this#i wish i didnt have so many good memories of him despite the bad cuz then i wouldnt care#and yet... i dont care... do i?#because if i did i would do something. right?#at least thats what people say#ive never exactly understood this sort of thing#i think nothing is more terrifying than the physical degradation of old age-- nothing else scares me so much about it#but eventually you grow old and there is no one left#yet still the young shun you#yet still your own daughter shuns you
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Maybe a hot take I dunno, but I feel like the way Deku handled Shigaraki could've been "justified" or at least a bit easier to accept if Shigaraki had actually killed Bakugou during the final fight.
That, or if Deku only found out Bakugo survived during the epilogue so he could have a moment of self reflection about giving up on saving Shigaraki because he thought someone he cared about got hurt.
Hm. On an emotional and story level, I get it! At first thought, it makes sense - Bakugou on the Heroes' side gets killed by Shigaraki, so narrative karma means Shigaraki has to die too. Would definitely help 'explain' Deku's cold attitude (tho I argue he was already pretty cold before).
But thinking about it more, I feel like it still wouldn't have worked? Shigaraki had already killed a bunch of other heroes and caused lots of destruction - so singling Bakugou out as the justification/last straw for Deku, him essentially killing Shigaraki as revenge for Bakugou, feels unfitting of him as a Hero - too personal, not him acting as impartial law enforcer. I know readers cared much more for Bakugou than Crust, but for the story, this different valuation of lives would look bad. imo.
Plus, Bakugou was truly dead. Shigaraki did kill him! It just didn't stick because of the greatest and weirdest asspull of story history, but that already happened. Bakugou was mangled and Deku did get really mad at that—for two seconds until Mirio spoke to him and Deku calmed down in order to ask about whether Shigaraki was still inside ShigAFO - to focus on his goal of saving Shigaraki.
Bakugou died, and Deku made the decision to still "not ignore the crying child". Which is a point towards him for sticking to wanting save Shigaraki despite this new evil thing Shigaraki has done! (But I guess it's just that his 'save' has always been reliant on his sympathy for a ghost child? Whose name he didn't know, so he had to have called Shigaraki 'Shigaraki', and I guess that made it seem like he wanted to save all of Shigaraki; but even at the moment, it was clear that Deku was focused on The Crying Child, given the visuals and Mirio speaking of Tenko's outburst.)
So while I get what you're going for, whether your first possibility or the second, it still does damage to the story of Deku being a Hero.
#imo#this is actually really hard to talk about#because there's so much shit going on#do i bring up that it was technically ShigAFO who killed Bakugou?#so not exactly Shigaraki himself?#except that Shigaraki comes back later and seems to know what happened#and didn't really care#I said here that Deku calmed himself down to stick to his promise to save The Crying Child#but that's more of an interpretation#because maybe he really was speaking of Shigaraki as a whole#separate from ShigAFO#idk man!#untangling this requires a wall string chart and i just don't want to torture my brain like that#nalslastworkingbraincell#thanks for the ask!
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a good cry always does wonders
#sorry for the vent ! feel free to scroll past !#had a nice conversation w my bf today#let out a good cry#and idt ive ever loved him more#was anxious about sharing lots of things w him bc i didn't really know how he'd react#or was afraid of disappointing him or smth but#he could already tell#i never used to fully grasp what it meant or felt like when ppl would say: someone who knows u better than u know urself#but today he rlly showed me just that#he's been hinting smth at me for the past few months that he thinks maybe this one thing i'm trying out isn't really for me#bec i guess he could really see that i was just trying to force it#and when i was sharing how i felt today and couldn't really voice it out#he tried to help me w it and asked if i was feeling x way and y way#and it was exactly that :( he said it was cos he's been noticing it from me for a while#and he was so sweet with the way he responded too#all love and support and not in any way disappointed at all#and idk i just feel like wow. isn't that such a special thing? to have someone know and respect u like this#i appreciate how he didn't push/pry at me the months before (bc he knows i don't really like being prodded unless i share it myself)#(i like to keep things to myself for a while to give myself the chance to handle it before involving others)#and idk i'm feeling a different type of soft today#and like a huge weight was lifted off me#lovebug#i talked so much again
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ugghhh wintertime sucks!! I'm sad and tired and sad all the time.. I need a nap.. and f/o cuddles.. and another nap..
#ash rambles 💚#negative#part of it is definitely the weather#it's so dark and dreary and i never wanna leave my bed#but also just. my mood akdjajs I'm kinda down in the dumps today#im recovering from being sick which always fucks me up#and i just cant shake this feeling of anxiety..? and i feel kinda a lot like my f/os wouldnt like me or would fall out of love or never see#me as more than a friend and other stuff like that#i.. actually got broken up with yesterday irl!#it wasnt messy. he said that this isnt what he wanted and it was fine and we're back to being pals. i wasnt sad at all in the moment and#i dont think i am now..? it's weird. we were laughing like always literal minutes after having the chat. when we got together we said that#if things domt work out we wanna keep being friends. and we're doing just that. honestly i saw it coming and idek if i LOVE him anymore#what even does love feel like..? regardless I'm not upset or sad at my breakup since i saw it coming and I'm honestly happy he just. Talked#to me about it. we communicated and then three minutes later went back to talking about x.enoblade LMAAOO it was fun!#but it is ridiculous for me to expect to feel NOTHING at no longer being in a relationship. i cant just feel nothing. i dont feel sad per s#just... in my thoughts i guess? I don't think the feeling of my f/os not liking me stems from me being dumped though. i think thats just me#being me sjdjaksj I'm very insecure a lot of the time. i dont think being dumped helpd very much though LMAAAOO#I'm doing okay i promise. and I'll be alright. theres just both a lot and nothing going on at the same time and i feel... idk what i feel.#i hope my f/os love me 😭 i hope that a lot#and honestly i know this community is ass and I'm more than happy in my own corner with my couple of followers but. ngl I've really felt as#though I'm not valued here and all that junk as of late. yeah just.. i think everything is happening at the same time and I'm tired and#i feel like I'm a confused kiddo who doesnt know anything anymore BAHAHAHA#holy shit it just sounds like i need a shower and a nap huh- I'll be alright I'm just. dealing with stuff akdjsks but i also hate to always#bring the mood down like this! i always try my best to be haha silly and all that shit. I'm just gonna try to daydream about f/o cuddles#(and try to convince myself they dont hate me ofc)#oh and. i know i mentioned this but. i hate the weather. so much. I'm sad all the time. November is actually my least favorite month too 😭#I've gotta study a lot today and I'll try to sneak in some k.urohyou and hopefully start watching monster too but yeah i apolgize if#I'm acting off these days ajdjajs I'm very stuck in my own mind these days. not exactly the most fun place to be 😭#delete later#i mean akdjajs i literally started crying the other day because my friend said that my husband (k.yohei) loves me ajdkahdb come on ash..
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🌟
#you guys already know what tf is up!!!!#i should do a tag for sentinelposting so my poor followers shouldnt have to see this but im not gonna#u guys can count yourselves lucky i was gonna sentinelpost yesterday too but i didnt! so ur welcome#im gonna cryyyyy everything this show does is so endearing to me idk why#im not s3ep21 and we got a double whammy of slow-mo AND car chase scene#also the amount of stunts and like explosions and crashes they do in this series astounds me#modern series would neverrrrr#jim and megan are going undercover as a couple moving into a house AND STILL. AND STILL#jim has to have his emotional support blair sandberg moving in WITH THEM#insane. insane. the modern tumblrinas wouldn't survive this#they refuse to be separated for a single god damn episode and im not even in the infamous soulbond ep yet#also i love simons actor he Brrrings it every single time#hes got this like. i mean its not exactly camp its not exactly exaggerated but its like. its so funny#esp when hes in scenes with sandburg im having such a good time#sorry guys for getting obsessed with a stupid old series nobody cares about i genuinely cannot help it#also theyre so color coded this ep like whyyyy is everyone wearing red was this a conscious decision? im gonna cryyyyy#aaaaaaaa#my post#dw guys only like 10 or 9 eps left ^-^ i am gonna immediately rewatch some of them though so you will never stop seeing my sentinel posting#<3333#im cryinggggggg megs like flirting with jim and he IMMEDIATELY had to bring up sandburg#yes bitch we know hes the most important thing in your life!🙄#im actually gonna cry im having so much fun
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i am. so fucking hurt right now.
#. he literally pretended to be my friend for nine months just to turn around and block me on everything. vent to my boyfriend about#how shitty I am. all the while I didn't even do fucking anything to him.#tell me I'm “downplaying” the situation of what I did. and at the same time#show a mutual friend of ours “what I did” behind my back. just to for that friend to agree that. I WASNT BEING RUDE#turns out hes been talking shit on me behind my back to my boyfriend this whole time. while acting like we're friends.#I confront him about something. he proceeds to flip out. curse at me. call me an asshole after I tell him something he did to hurt me.#and then he BLOCKS ME ON EVERYTHING#AND AFTERWARDS. TELLS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND THAT IM HARD TO TALK TO. BECAUSE I EITHER GET HOSTILE OR SHUT DOWN.#WHEN IT WAS HIM DOING BOTH THOSE THINGS. AND ME TRYING TO HAVE A CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATION ABOUT HOW HE HURT MY FEELINGS A WEEK PRIOR#AND IT MADE ME HAVE A TWO DAY MENTAL BREAKDOWN#AND ALL HE HAS TO SAY ABOUT *THAT* IS THAT I NEED TO WATCH WAY I SAY AND LEARN TO TAKE CRITICISM#I'm just so confused. I've been crying all day dude idk wtf I even did.#I couldnt even focus in class.#so uh. if you hear how shitty I am from marc. please let me know what exactly I even did to warrant this 😭#wtf man
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how to stop crying about mushimizo
#bsd#bsd mushitarou#bsd yokomizo#vent incoming beware!!!#well... vent? idk just many tags lul :3#it's a problem especially bc i made a playlist for them#i rewatched the perfect crime arc 3 times yesterday + the episode were atsushi and kyouka get him out of jail#the mushimizo scenes break my heart#and when mushitarou writes to yokomizo in the afterlife I'M CRYING AAAAAA#he just thinks about him laughing and drops the pen and i just sdfksjdksd#he doesn't even cry#he just buries his face in his hands and i can't stop THINKING about it bc me too bro me too#thats exactly what i do when i write about my old friend (i mean i obv didn't kill her but i cut her out of my life bc she was abusive af)#and the way he seeks out the memories I FEEL YOU I FEEL YOU I FEEL YOU#“so i can always find you in a locked room?” BRUH#ahhhhhh#he's just like me fr#kind of a personal post#i'm sorry
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Today I had the random thought of what if Tarn somehow got ahold of the matrix but then was so excited about it he accidentally pops it like a lightbulb with his outlier power
Oh noooo, Tarn baby no
#legitimately my first thought#now what tarn now what#you destroyed //the matrix// and you don't exactly have rung on hand to help replace it#the damn noise it must've made must've been hilarious (to us)#it wasn't even that loud but it might as well have been#oh tarn#what i imagined was a sound like dropping ice to watch it splinter (why? idk.)#maybe a little squashed zzzing!#the way the mood in the room dropped after that#tarn looks like he's about to cry#mtmte tarn#maccadam#transformers#the matrix of leadership#A Glitch In The Matrix
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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oh yeah not sure where we're at w money btw. we might be able to get some of it back but we wont know anything concrete until friday
#the fey speaks#which is why i haven't been reblogging the d0n0 post#like. i got $115 total and we Do need to buy groceries before friday and also some of it has already been spent on gas for getting to work#so what i'm saying is the support i got so far has already be immensely helpful#i am just not sure how much more help i will need or by when. or anything. until friday.#and i'd hate to keep askin only to end up not needing it ig. that said if anyone still wants to send me a few bucks while understanding tha#i won't say no. there are many things i need money for in this world rn. like a new belt. been thinking abt a cane. but idk how much it#would help so i haven't been able to justify the cost to myself#but like. there's probably better things you could be doing with your money rn.#also its been really hard for me to get info bc no one (my parents. whose bank acct it was.) wants to fucking talk about it#like. i live here too idk i think i should be allowed to know like what days bills are due and exactly how much they cost!#bc originally i was told (by my mom) that Literally All of our bills were due this past monday. and we would have#no power water or gas. but we still do. somehow. so idfk#and she won't talk to me abt it if i ask she just Stops Responding or walks away#and if i try to ask dad he just responds “i don't know” or starts crying. or like self loathing spiral#so basically. even if we get 100% of the original money back#its ALSO possible we will have a shit tone of late fees and overdraft fees to pay. no clue : )
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the past few days have been wonderful 😍
#— vent#my dog is hurt :’)#we don’t know what exactly is wrong with him but#he can’t climb stairs or jump or walk properly#i’m rlly worried#i was so upset last night because he kept trying to jump on my moms bed because that’s where he likes to sleep#and he kept crying because he couldn’t#he tried so hard :’)#my grandad has gotten into 2 accidents in the past 2 weeks#both minor but :’)#his alzheimer’s is getting so bad we have to tell him he can’t drive anymore#and on top of all this i’m rlly struggling with what to do it it’s something#my bf is not giving me good options 🥲 he just wants me to remove myself from the situation but#i don’t want to#i’m just tired of ppl complaining to me about stuff and then doing the stuff they complained about to me like#:’) what does that say :’)#and on top of allllll of that#we had a mass for my grandma yesterday and idk :’)#i’m just not in the best headspace right now sobs#if you’re still here reading thru all of this i’m giving u a smooch#sorry for dumping it all :’)#i’ll answer asks & messages in the morning :’) i’m exhausted mentally and physically and need to sleep
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GENUINELY going 2 fucking explode. was in the car driving and angel with a shotgun came on. started thinkin about c!philza and no word of a lie i started crying. old man is immortal and has lost so much in his lifetime and became nearly apathetic about it, lost his son, got his son back, his son LEFT WILLINGLY, and then lost his best friend and his home one after the other. i was so fucking distraught about it. ohhh cphil you had so many issues and you were no good at helping people but you are so so tragic 2 me. then i started thinking abt vash the stampede and cried even harder
#whiskey yelling into the void#dsmp#IMMORTAL BLOND GUYS WITH FAMILY ISSUES AND ANGEL IMAGERY WHO LOST THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS GANG#i think ctech is canonically gone or at least heavily implied to be which is literally the saddest fucking thing i've ever heard in my life#like fuck. god. we don't know exactly what happened to him if he just left or if he's dead but cphil acted like he was GONE gone#i think phil did that bc like. cphil is very much like ccphil and like. he didnt talk about how he felt much?? so roleplaying it with cphil#was probs a way to show it?? without saying it??? ig??? acknowledging it without rly acknowledging it#either way both cc and c being hit with the same loss is fucking devastating#sry im just rambling. thinkin abt tech and sbi a lot lately. might cry again might delete this later idk
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GLAD STREAM WENT SMOOTHLY THIS TIME had so much fun!!
BUT NOOOOOOO SOME OF YOUR FRAMING AND ANGLES REMINDED ME... We finished Hero recently so we rewatched Hero SP and watched the "sequel"… Hero SP is still my favorite thing to come out of it by far TBH but I was happy to see Nakai's character back in the latter [he's got this starting-to-grey beard, so Obviously I Was Thinking About Arakawa Aging In The Years Ichi Was Gone, and also he's smiling almost every second he's on-screen so I was :] ].
At the same time, because Takita's a Sympathetic Antagonist Who Went To Prison Returning In A Sequel… it put the fear of God in me with regard to Jo coming back because [spoilers </3] Takita's only in it for two-and-a-half scenes and he has cancer… I would say One Fear but again I have MANY FEARS when it comes to Jo and honestly MOST OF THEM are about not getting a satisfactory resolution [if there has to be one], like Aoki. I'd already made my peace with him not coming back at all in 2019 [2018 if I'm counting RGGJo]… pleeease don't do him dirty that's my emotional support shitty old bitch 😭😭😭
Extremely specific worries aside here are Nakai's dogs Kurumi and Pairan as promised :] Kurumi means walnut... if you even care...
STREAM WORKING MEANS I DIDNT HAVE TO PICK UP ICE FISHING YIPPEE !!!!!!!!
ABOUT JO THO AND HIS INEVITABLE-RETURN-BUT-UNCERTAIN FATE.... we can only wait... rgg wont let me in their basement anymore i cant leak secrets as to what could happen to him- at the very least i hope the rgg team understands people like satisfactory, Non Bullshit endings to character arcs.... so here's to hoping he gets that if possible :] if not uhhhh hope he gets the least cringe exit from the series :]]
BUT NAKAI'S DOGS HELLOOOOO THEY'RE BABIES I LOVE THEM HIIII !!!!!!! THEIR NAMES ARE SO CUTE PAIRAN AND CHESTNUT..... im ashamed to admit i already knew 'kurumi' meant chestnut.... as krillin's name from dragon ball derives from 'kuri'.... that doesnt make the name any less cute it makes them better TO ME (❁´▽`❁)
#long post#snap chats#i was about to ask if i should watch hero but then i see hiroshi abe is in it and idk why that makes me compelled to watch...#when i have time.. i will certainly examine it with my eyeballs..#moreover im surprised my comic got you thinkin of hero..... most curious as to how exactly tho cool nevertheless...#rip takita you were chill as hell for killin a dude for fuckin with the ocean... rip about the cancer you were baller in my eyes...#fuck but speaking of middle-of-aging arakawa i keep forgetting i did want to draw that. and by Draw That i mean like.#just basically give y7 arakawa rggo arakawa's stubble LMAO one day... when i stop being plagued with images..#ok is everyone gone. are you all done reading. get out#THAT PEONY IS SO PRETTY thats what i think mr nakai... and chestnut is an adorable baby 😭😭😭#TWO BIG ASS DOGS he really is living the life... im crying omg...#THEYRE SO CUUUUUUUTE I LOVE DOGSSSSSS WAHHHH#anyway. to end this ramble. DID NOT expect to scroll down to see my guy with the unbuttoned shirt HELLO#stylish...... chique...... SUCH a vibe with the two dogs in the backyard....#genuinely obsessed with the like five blog posts youve sent me of nakai's......#ok im taking a walk. probably accidentally think of more things to create BYE#many thanks for the dog pics.......... mwah...
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I knew I loved the story about the frog and the scorpion for a reason when I was a child
Oops I did it again and by it I mean fully give my heart to someone who I knew would destroy it COMPLETELY
But fuck I thought it would take longer and MAN drowning is NOT fun
#it's like#i know conceptually what empty promises are and i know people are capable of them#i feel like a new born baby or fucking pinocchio before he gets turned into a donkey#.....and in such a cold cruel way#that's why I'm struggling to get it out and just cry my eyes out about it and move on#it's all so......sudden and....frankly mean#I haven't even had the time to do anything to deserve it#this specific pain I'm feeling feels like a ball of lead lodged between my throat and chest and it just won't go down#BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP HOPING IT'LL TURN AROUND AGAIN#it's not like she didn't warn me when we were friends#like she told me exactly how badly she functions when a relationship turns romantic and it's open and honest#idk what made me think i would be different#maybe cause she said she wanted it to be dofferent#maybe cause i was the first girl she ever liked#maybe i was just a naive arrogant dumbass#as per my usual#GOD NOVEMBER HAS SUCKED ASS SO FAR FUCKING GODDAMNIT#.....tbf i had the best time between july and october i guess. so.#it was a good run#now it's time to act my age#something that she definitely isn't doing#but goddamnit i still want her so much and jesus christ it hurts like#......the things she told me about that guy and the things that guy told me about her#knowing her story and her trauma#and the way she's acting around him now......god#why would i still want someone who treats me like this? what the fuck is wrong with me?#hhhh#it's gonna take some time#but this too shall pass#fuck
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