#i’ll answer asks & messages in the morning :’) i’m exhausted mentally and physically and need to sleep

[hockeyboysimagines]

Bitter

Chapter 9

Warnings: Mentions of sex, alcohol, pregnancy, angst, some fluff.

PSA: A lot of people have asked me where I got the inspiration for Kaitlin, and I haven’t ever really answered it. I knew a girl who did exactly what Kaitlin is doing. In real life she was successful in derailing the wedding and ultimately broke up the people getting married. It was actually really horrible but I did base Kaitlin off of her. If you guys want a more in depth explanation let me know. I’d be happy to tell the story.

One more after this one guys😭😭😭😭Next chapter will be Mat and Leighton’s wedding!

Enjoy!!

Beau was gone when Ginny woke up the next morning, and if she was being honest she was glad he was. His cologne still lingered on her sheets as she rolled over and sighed, eyes closing again.

She felt so tired, both physically and mentally and she couldn’t decide which was worse. There was too much happening and most of it was completely out of her control. She’d only ever been not in control of a situation one time in her life, and that had been a long time ago.

Her phone buzzed twice and she pulled it towards her, seeing a message from Mat.

M: Hey. We want you to come over for lunch today? Let me know if you can make it. I have practice and Leighton’s been asking for you.

G: Of course I’ll be there. Tell her I’ll see her in a few hours.

M: Thanks Gin. Love you.

G: Love you🤍

She rolled over again and pulled herself up, leaning her neck back and forth before she stood, stretched and made her way to the bathroom to shower. It was going to be a long few days, as the wedding was fast approaching and there was so much to do. The thought of it exhausted her as she cranked the water to hot and let her clothes fall to the floor.

But she would do it because Leighton needed her.

*********

Kaitlin examined the black eye and swollen nose in the mirror. She had thought for a moment about pressing charges and having Ginny arrested, but then she remembered she’d been harassing and sabotaging for months and could get in trouble for that. She had a little more than two weeks to go before Mat and Leighton got married and she was running out of ideas. She was angry still, but it had faded a little over time and even though she had a vendetta, she felt like maybe it was time to let it go.

Maybe.

*********

Leighton didn’t bring up Beau when Ginny got to their apartment. She acted as if everything was normal, until Ginny brought him up. Even though the confrontation had been mostly forgotten due to the devastating news about Leighton’s pregnancy, Ginny still felt a little guilty for lying to her.

“Ginny can you be honest for a minute? Do you have feelings for him? Actual feelings?” She asked gently.

“I don’t really know.” Ginny sighed and leaned back on the sofa “I’ve never actually had feelings for someone.”

“Okay feelings aside, do you want to be with him? Not just sleeping with him, but actually having a relationship?”

Ginny but her lip and nodded “I do.” And then she felt tears come to her eyes “God this sucks.”

Leighton smiled and nodded “It does, but if you do feel this way you should talk to him. He thinks you hate him.”

“I kind of do. Or at least I did. I don’t know I guess I never really gave him a chance. I was so determined to dislike him, I never got to know him, until that night in Manhattan. I realized that maybe he wasn’t so bad, and it snowballed from there. But it was supposed to be just sex. No feelings involved.”

“There’s different ways to get feelings Gin. Some are fast and easy, some take a while. And if he’s what you want, I just want you to be happy.”

“Thank you best friend. I don’t know how I’d survive without you sometimes.” Ginny said the last part a little fearfully, eyes flicking down to Leighton’s stomach, where a visible baby bump had appeared.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Leighton said with a small smile.

Ginny leaned over and let her head fall on Leighton’s shoulder and sighed.

Leighton gave her a pat on the arm “Guys.” She said with a sigh.

“Their the fucking worst.” Ginny replied with a small laugh.

************

Ginny wiggled into an Emerald green dress and ran her fingers through her curls. She was due at the pre-engagement party for Mat and Leighton in a little over an hour, and she had pulled out all the stops.

She was admittedly a little nervous to see Beau, but also a little excited. She hated to say it, but she missed him. Even though it had started as a no strings attached, strictly sex type of relationship, she grew to like him for more than that.

While it scared her still, she had started to imagine a world where maybe she could love him, or at least care for him enough to explore the thought of him being a constant in her life. Love still scared her, but it was becoming less intimidating by the day.

She sighed and adjusted her dress in the mirror. Stepping into her heels and grabbing her clutch. She was ready to admit her feelings to him, to come clean about it all. To finally tell him she actually liked him, and that yelling at him was a mistake. She didn’t mean anything she said, and she wanted to try again.

She left the apartment, full of optimism and hopeful that he felt the same. She hadn’t really thought about what she would do if he said he wasn’t interested. She would deal with that if it happened.

She parked, took a deep breath and walked towards the the bar they’d booked for the party. Some people were already there, but not him. She found Mat and Leighton, conversing with them briefly before Leighton excused herself to pee.

After she left Mat turned to Ginny “Are you doing okay?”

Ginny shrugged “I guess. I’m just stressed i guess. Too much happening. Leighton, Beau, Kaitlin. It’s just been a lot.”

“Agreed. So what’s going to happen with you guys. Leighton hasn’t said much about what you guys talked about at lunch.” Mat had purposely avoided talking about Leighton and Ginny didn’t blame him.

Ginny looked at her feet and sighed, drumming her fingernails on her glass “I don’t know.”

“When’s the last time you talked?”

“Two weeks ago. He came over after I found out about Leighton, but we haven’t talked since then.” She said a little sheepishly. She hadn’t told anyone about when he came over after she found out about Leighton, simply because she had already stressed Leighton out enough and didn’t wanna add to it.

“Does he make you happy Ginny? Because if he makes you happy then you should give it another try don’t you think? You deserve happiness.”

Before she could answer she heard someone say his name and a wide smile stretched across her face as she turned.

She saw him enter from across the room, and before she could help herself she made to step forward before she froze. Trailing behind him, fingers intertwined was some girl, who had clearly come with him. She was smiling widely as he introduced her to his teammates.

Her throat felt like it was closing, and what could only be described as rage was boiling inside of her, bubbling like a volcano that was about to explode.

“Ginny.” Mat put a hand on her arm and she whipped around, yanking it away. Mat took a small step back, remembering how angry she’d been at him just a few months ago, when she’d thrown the frame at him. But that was nothing compared to this. She was almost unrecognizable, her face was twisted with rage, eyes burning into him in a way that made him almost uncomfortable.

“Did you know?” She asked quietly.

Mat gaped at her before she snapped at him “Did you know?!”

“Of course not.” He said holding his hands up.

She had a white knuckle grip on her wine glass, and for a minute he thought it might shatter. Her cheeks were as red as her hair as she downed it, and stared a hole through Beau until he turned and met her eye. He looked at his feet, and bit his lip, guilt all over his face.

Ginny turned on her heel and disappeared somewhere, and Mat let his head fall back and looked at the ceiling exasperated.

“Can we have just one day without drama? Just one?” He mumbled to himself eyes closed.

“Have you seen Ginny?” He opened his eyes and turned to find Lauren looking slightly concerned.

“She went that way, but I’d give her some space right now…”

“Yeah that’s why I’m looking for her. Is she okay?”

“Not really. I should go talk to Beau I think.”

He walked towards him and pulled him aside “Are you out of your mind? You brought a date when Ginny was gonna be here?”

“Why wouldn’t I? We were never exclusive.”

“Dude come on-“

“Look I tried with Ginny okay. She made it very clear she wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

“Really? That’s why you guys were together just two weeks ago? I don’t get you. Just a few months ago you were hell bent on me breaking up my marriage, and you were right about that. You spewed all this nonsense about listening to my feelings and here you are not listening to your feelings.”

“How do you know what my feelings are?”

“Oh come on man. It’s all over your face. If you wanna lie to everyone else that’s fine, but don’t lie to me. Not about this.”

“Even if I wanted to be with her, she wants nothing to do with me. Did you see that look she just gave me?”

“Because you showed up with some other girl. And because she was about to give you another chance.” Mat said the words before he could stop himself. It wasn’t really his place to tell him that, but he wondered if maybe that was the only way to get him to stop being so dense.

He looked dumbfounded, mouth slightly ajar “She was?”

“Yes. What’s wrong with you?” He asked brows furrowed. Beau then felt guilty. His dream girl, who he both hated and loved at the same time was coming around to him after everything that had transpired between them and he had showed up with some other girl he had zero attraction to, because he wanted to spite her.

Mat shook his head and walked away, leaving Beau with Kerrie and his teammates. They looked awkward as they interacted with her. Now that they knew about Ginny, they were confused about why he had showed up with someone else. Sydney was looking at him with a frown, before she sipped her drink and excused herself, and he was sure she went to find Ginny and Leighton.

Elsewhere Leighton had found Ginny at the bar, 4 shots in and ready for another.

“Whoa.” She remarked as Ginny downed another one “What’s the matter?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” She said quietly, jerking her head in the direction of Beau and the girl he’d brought.

Leighton sucked in a breath “Ginny…Ginny I’m so sorry. I had no idea-“

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. It’s mine actually, for being so fucking stupid.”

“Your not stupid.”

“No I am. What was my one rule? Don’t ever be vulnerable. And what did I do? I broke it and look where it got me. Never again.” Ginny felt a tear come to her eye and then gave Leighton a tight lipped smile “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” She turned and walked away from the bar and disappeared into the crowd with her wine glass in her hand.

“Ginny.” She turned and froze. Beau was standing there, eyes soft, looking at her apprehensively.

“Can I talk to you?” He asked lowly, hand coming to rest on her arm. She laughed, and yanked her arm from his grip.

“Can you talk to me? No you can’t fucking talk to me.”

“Ginny please I-“

“Who is she?” She asked pointing at her. Several of his teammates had stopped conversation and started listening.

“She’s- she’s just a girl I know.”

“A girl you know? Okay Beau. Get away from me.” She didn’t look angry, but she looked sad and disgusted.

“Ginny can we just go somewhere and talk. Please?” He blocked her path. She squinted at him and smiled a little, eyes narrowing. As he took a step closer, the smell of alcohol was apparent and he realized he was talking to drunk Ginny, not sober Ginny.

“No. Let’s talk right here.” She said voice rising. Her face was flushed as she pointed at Kerrie.

“I bet she thinks wow what a winner he’s great!” Ginny said spilling a bit of wine over the rim of her glass as she swung it in her direction. She took another step backwards as he tried to take the glass from her hand and quiet her.

“And I’d be willing to bet you fucked her right there on that kitchen counter. Where you used to fuck me remember?” He stepped forward trying to hush her again but she just got louder.

“Ginny stop.” He said as she reached forward grabbing the shirt, fisting the fabric in her hand.

“ I know you think about me when your with her.” She slurred as more wine tumbled over the rim of the glass spilling on to the hardwood with a slapping sound. Lauren and Sydney both watched sadly as Ginny unraveled in front of them, and the entire bar. It was sad, to see her finally lose it. Beau, Leighton, all of it had finally made her fall apart, something she had never done. Her mistake of being vulnerable had finally come back to bite her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it from spilling over.

Kerrie had noticed this now and was frowning, eyes growing glassy as she watched them interact. She had been hopeful that maybe Beau decided he liked her, but as she watched him with Ginny she started to think he’d only brought her to get back at her.

Beau gripped Ginny by the wrist and attempted to steer her into the privacy of the hallway, eyes searching the room for Leighton. She was watching them, Mat behind her. She looked sad, knowing that Ginny had finally hit rock bottom. She came forward just as Ginny was about to speak again, and put a hand gently on her shoulder. Ginny turned to look at her, and while no words were spoken, her eyes told her she needed to stop. She had tears in her eyes as Leighton pushed her forward and into the bathroom giving him a look he could quite read before closing the door. Kerrie had disappeared from her spot and he ran a hand frustratedly through his hair and made his way to the bar avoiding the eyes of his teammates. He sat down, and felt a presence at his side and a hand on his shoulder. Mat was looking sadly at him.

“I fucked up bro.” Beau said quietly, leaning forward to let his head fall into his hands. This was all his fault. All of it. Even if things were truly over between them, it was wrong to bring Kerrie. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to Ginny. And it wasn’t fair to Mat and Leighton.

Mat nodded and sighed sitting on the stool next to him “Look man. Ginny is....different. I think she got used to leaving guy’s broken hearted. I don’t think she’s ever been on the receiving end of it. It’s gotta be hard for her. I’ve never seen her fall apart this way.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her I just...I thought if I moved on first it wouldn’t hurt as bad when she did.”

“Take it from someone who’s tried that. It doesn’t work. I was engaged to Kaitlin and I still loved Leighton, I don’t think I ever really stopped I just pushed it away. You gotta talk to her.”

“I don’t think so. That might make things worse. I have a lot of apologies to make. To you, to Leighton, to Kerrie. Ginny most of all, but I don’t think she’d even want to see me.”

Leighton appeared next to Mat, wetness under her eyes.

“Where is she?” Beau asked quietly.

“I sent her home. Please don’t go and see her. Please.” Her voice broke at the end, lip trembling “She needs to be alone.”

“I understand. I’m sorry. For all of this.”

“It’s not your fault, but this is just too much.”

He nodded and Mat put an arm around Leighton’s shoulder “Don’t get upset. You aren’t supposed to get stressed.”

“I’m gonna go. I promise I won’t go see Ginny. Sorry again.”

They both nodded and watched him leave.

“Are you okay?” Mat asked gently, turning to face Leighton fully.

She shook her head, tears spilling out of her eyes “No I’m not okay. I can’t take much more of this. Ginny, Beau, Kaitlin. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Ginny and Beau will work themselves out, and as for Kaitlin, I’m going to handle that. I promise.”

**********

He kept his word. After he put Leighton to bed, he quietly left the apartment, and made his way across town to Kaitlin’s. He sat in the car for a minute, rehearsing his words in his head. He wasn’t sure anything he said would make a difference at this point, but he had to try.

The parking lot was quiet, the only sounds being his footsteps as he made his way up the stairs and to her door. He knocked three times, and after a few minutes she opened the door. She looked both surprised to see him, but also not, and then she smiled.

“Mat. Hi.”

“I need to talk to you.” He said flatly moving past her and into her apartment. It was small, much smaller than the one they’d shared. Kaitlin was still by the door, smiling at him like she used to as she closed it.

“How are you? I miss you.” She said moving towards him, but he held out a hand to stop her.

“Don’t. I’m not here for that. I’m here to tell you to stay away from my wedding, stay away from my friends, and stay away from Leighton.”

“Mat I-“

“No. I’m talking. I’ve let this go on for too long, because I felt guilty about what happened. But what your doing now is going too far.”

“You have no idea about going too far. Going too far was saying someone else’s name on the altar.”

“And I’ve apologized for that. Why can’t you let it go?”

“Because I still love you.” She said. She had started to cry, tears staining her face. While he normally would have felt bad, it only made him angrier.

“Did you cheat on me with her?” Kaitlin asked voice breaking. She had long suspected that he had strayed from their engagement, but she’d never been able to confirm it.

Mat hesitated a seconds, biting his lip “Yeah Kaitlin. I did.”

“When?”

“The day after we moved up the wedding. And it was wrong of me. I should have been honest with you from the start. And I’m sorry.”

“I knew it.” She wiped under her eyes and shook her head “I knew you did. What other reason would you say her name instead of mine. That’s why I’m doing all this. Because you ruined my life.”

“So because we didn’t work out, you’re going to ruin my life?” He asked. What he did was wrong, but that didn’t make what she was doing right either.

“Didn’t work out?! That’s what you call that? Because I call it sabotage-“

“No what your doing now is sabotage Kaitlin! I mean this is insane! Trying to stop my wedding?”

“Did you ever love me at all?” She asked tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Yeah I did. You don’t have to believe that but I did. And I’m sorry that I hurt you Kaitlin I really am but…but I love her. And I want to marry Leighton. It’s over for us.”

Kaitlin flinched and sniffled but nodded “Yeah I know it is… I think it was over for us a long time ago.”

Mat was silent a moment before she spoke again, voice cracking “I’ve always known I wasn’t really the love of your life. Even before she showed up here. I could feel I was never getting 100% of your heart, like there was a part of it I would never see. And it was my fault for sticking around. I just thought that maybe you could learn to love me someday or that maybe your hate for her would be enough to make you stay with me. That was my mistake. I could see it in your eyes when you told me she was here. That your feeling shad changed.”

“I’m not here to rehash the past Kaitlin. I’m here to tell you to stay away from my wedding, and away from my fiancé. It doesn’t matter what you do. I will move my wedding across the country, but I’m still going to marry her. It’s over.” He said coldly. He didn’t feel the slightest bit bad about it either. He had apologized enough for what he did and he wouldn’t allow her to guilt him into anymore of it.

Kaitlin nodded “I know. I’m done with all this. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. And I’d like to apologize to Leighton too.”

“You aren’t going to talk to her ever. Stay away from her. I mean it. I wish you the best, but this is the last time your ever going to see me. Goodbye Kaitlin.”

He walked past her and for a second she looked like she might reach out to him, but she didn’t. Instead she let him walk out the door, and out of her life for good. As he walked towards his car, a weight that had come to rest on his shoulders melted away and stayed in that apartment. He had made his peace with the situation and he wouldn’t revisit it.

He would always be thankful to her for helping him heal during the lowest point in his life. But anything beyond that was done. He was finally going to marry the love of his life, and she was what was important to him now. Not Kaitlin, not the drama and not the past.

He felt relieved and at peace as he made his way back home. The apartment was quiet as he stepped inside, took off his shoes and made his way to their bedroom. Leighton was facing away from the door on her side, and stirred as he slipped into bed next to her.

“Hey.” She said softly eyes still closed. He placed an arm gently around her waist, hand coming to rest on her stomach “Where have you been?”

“I was out. Keeping my promise.”

************

“Jesus Christ.” Beau said picking up a box and heaving it one the kitchen island “You have a lot of stuff.”

“Think of it as conditioning before camp starts.” Mat said ripping the tape off a second box.”

“What is all this? None of it’s labeled and I don’t want to accidentally unpack your underwear or something.”

Mat chuckled and nodded over his shoulder “It’s already unpacked.”

“Priorities.” Beau said snapping his fingers and reaching over to start unboxing stuff “Let’s see.” He said peering inside “Looks like bedroom stuff. A lamp, T.V remote, socks, and…” he trailed off digging in the box “Who’s this?”

Mat turned to see him holding up a frame. His smile faded a little. It was something he took with him everywhere, and while it felt a little silly he just couldn’t part with it. He cleared his throat “That’s Leighton, my ex girlfriend.”

“You keep a picture of your ex girlfriend in your bedroom? Sounds like more than an ex girlfriend to me.”

“She was. I uh-I asked her to marry me once.” He smiled but it was a sad smile “She said no. I haven’t seen her since then.”

“Oh shit. I’m sorry Barz I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine. I’ve kind of come to terms with it I guess. But for whatever reason I can’t let go of that picture.”

He reached for it and held it in front of him looking down at it. She was so beautiful, smile wide as he leaned into him, arms wrapped around his middle. Her eyes were twinkling, happy. They’d been so in love, so excited for their future together. Those people had no idea that in a year their life would be completely separate from each other.

“Do you…wanna talk about it?” Beau asked teaching into the box to unpack everything else.

“There’s not much to talk about. She’s gone you know? It happened and it took a long time to come to terms with, but I’ve mostly gotten over it. It’s time to move on.” He sighed and recounted some of the details on what had happened. By the end of the story, Beau was looking apologetically at him.

“I don’t know how you do it buddy. That’s part of why I’ll never fall in love. I couldn’t go through that.”

“Sometimes you’ll do anything for someone you love. Even let them go. You never know, you might fall for someone some day. Someone unexpected.”

“Nah. That’s not my thing. Love doesn’t find guys like me.”

[unsupervisedpanda]

Glow out

Katsuki bakugo x reader

    Groaning you sat up in your bed as the front door slammed shut. You heard some quiet cursing from down the hall and let out a sigh. Katsuki was home.

    Slipping out of bed you walked out of the bedroom, feet patting down the hall. You'd left a lamp on for Katsuki so that he could see when he returned from a long day at work. Entering the living room you frowned when you saw Katsuki crouched down and holding his head.

    "Baby?" You whispered and his head whipped up.

    "Hey, firefly." He greeted looking up.

  Smiling softly you walked over to him, crouching down in front of him.

    "Tough day?" You asked and he nodded running a hand through his hair.

    "Want to talk about it?" You offered but he shook his head, standing up.

    You sighed before nodding. Standing up you stretched before offering the male your hand. He rose his brows at you and you rolled your eyes.

   "Come on. You and I are going to go to bed and cuddle and you're going to like it." You smiled grabbing his hand. However your weren't prepared for him to rip his hand out of yours.

    "Not tonight. I'm going to sleep on the couch." He told you and your eyes widened.

    "Okay but why?" You asked wrapping your arms around yourself.

    He shook his head before pushing past you and going into the bedroom, grabbing his pillow and a spare blanket. With a pout you walked back into your bedroom, and grabbed your phone.

    Clicking on Kirishima's contact you selected the message icon.

    You: You awake?

  Riot: Yeah why

    You: Katsu is in a bad mood. Any idea why?

   Riot: Tough day.

            Lost a couple civilians and a kid.

            Just needs some space :)

    You: Okay. Thanks :)

     Setting the phone down you frowned. Hero work was relentless and could be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. It was part of the reason you never wanted to be a hero. Katsuki knew what he wanted though and he fought for his place at the top.

     You knew he loved his job, but knowing that it also hurt him made your heart ache. With a sigh you rolled off the bed and walked into the living room where Katsuki was lying on the couch.

   "Baby? You still up?" You inquired but received no response.

   Quietly you walked over to him and smiled softly. He was asleep. Sitting down next to the couch you placed your head next to him. You didn't mean to but eventually you fell asleep next to the blonde.

    It was still dark when you woke up again. This time in your own bed, the bed you shared with Katsuki. Glancing over you smiled sleepily when you saw Katsuki was sleeping next to you.

     Wiggling over to him you snuggled into his back and let out a content sigh. Slowly you fell asleep again this time with the man you loved.

   In the morning you woke up to Katsuki swearing and things slamming. A repeat of last night. Jumping out of bed you pulled a jacket on and ran into the kitchen.

   "Sorry I slept in!" You apologized opening the fridge and pulling out some eggs and orange juice.

    He didn't answer, just went into the entry way and pulled on his shoes. This surprised you because it was supposed to be his day off.

    "Baby? It's Sunday. You have today off?" You said your brows quirking in confusion.

    "And? I can go out if I damn well please." He snapped and you flinched.

    "Yeah. You're right. Who am I to question one of the top 5." You huffed rolling your eyes. In all reality it hurt your feelings when he yelled at you but you couldn't let him know that. It was a sign of weakness with him.

    "I'll be back tonight. Don't wait up." He called out to you and you sighed before replying.

    "Okay. Do you want me to leave something for you?" It was silent for a single beat before he replied with a simple 'no'.

    When the front door closed you finally let the tears spill over. Sliding down in front of the counter tops you leaned back into them. Tears flowed freely as you sobbed. You were trying so hard to be supportive but it was difficult when he refused to be helped.

    You sat on the kitchen floor for about 15 minutes trying to pull yourself together before you finally stood up. Putting the eggs and juice away you pulled out a f/d instead and then went about cleaning the house.

    The bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen, the living room, every closet and drawer you could until there was nothing left to clean. Then you sat on the couch and thought about what to do next. However that was answered for you when you began to doze off, snuggling into the jacket that smelled like Katsuki.

    When you woke up it was with a jolt. Your eyes squinted as they tried to adjust to the dark. At first you thought that Bakugo had returned home but when the door was slammed into again you decided it wasn't.

    Jumping up you ran to the bedroom and grabbed your phone before hiding in the closet. You felt the walls shake as the door was slammed into again.

    Shakily you unlocked your phone and hit the call button on Katsuki's contact. It rang and rang and rang, but no one answered. Then the front door slammed open with a loud crash.

   Panicked, you pressed on Kirishima's contact and hoped he'd answer. It rang for about 3 seconds before he picked up.

    "Y/n? What's up?" He answered casually and you held back a sob.

   "Some- someone is in- in- in the house." You stuttered as you held one hand over your mouth.

   You heard the intruder throwing things and breaking your belongings, trashing the home you'd just worked so hard to make welcoming. It broke you.

   You could hear Kirishima scuffling on the other line as he told you to stay where you were and to stay on the phone. You nodded before realizing he couldn't see you. Whispering a small okay you tried to quiet your breathing.

    Then your bedroom door opened. Pushing yourself further back into the closet you winced when they began to throw your belongings around, even flipping the queen sized bed on its side.

    You heard Kirishima swear before the closet door was swung open. Holding your breath you hoped they wouldn't see you, or investigate further. However your luck seemed to be running on empty because just as the intruder went to leave your phone lit up as Katsuki began to call you back.

    With a scream you were pulled out of the closet by your ankle. You'd dropped your phone in the struggle as they yanked you out onto your bedroom floor.

    "Hey boss. Look what I found. It's blasty's little girl thang." He, as you could now see his face, chortled.

   Your eyes were wide with terror as you turned to see who this supposed boss was. When your eyes met with his you tried not to scream again. It was the side-kick of some rank C villain who'd Katsuki caught and jailed about a week ago.

    "You-" you started but yelped when the side-kick's lackey picked you up, and threw you over his shoulder.

     "Scream and I'll make sure he breaks every single one of your ribs. Try to run and I'll kill you myself." The 'boss' threatened and you nodded. Once you were out of the apartment though you'd fight back because there was no way in hell you'd go without a fight.

    Your quirk was useless in pretty much all forms of combat but you'd been taking hand-to-hand combat lessons with both Katsuki and Kirishima for months. Your quirk was Luminescence. You had the ability to light yourself up like a very bright lightbulb for up to a minute. It didn't provide heat or anything dangerous it was just blinding.

     As soon as they stepped out of the door you lit yourself up. The boss flinched away and the brute carrying you dropped you in an attempt to shield his eyes. Hitting the floor you scrambled up, and darted down the hall, your skin slowly returning to it's natural shade and brightness. In a way you were glow in the dark for a few moments after using your quirk.

    Running for the stairs you screamed when a purple sludge wrapped around your ankle tripping you. You fell head first down the flight of stairs, before hitting the first landing. You groaned and you head stung in a few spots from where you hit the stairs.

    Pushing yourself up you gasped as the ground seemed to sway and distort. Not good. Deciding it was best not to stand you slid down the stairs instead, as fast as you could. Your head hurt, your back hurt, your elbows hurt. Everything hurt but you needed to get out.

     You managed about 2 flights before the villain wanna-be's caught up to you. Pushing yourself up finally you held onto the railing for support. Just one more flight and you would be on the main floor. Just one more.

      Glaring at them you waited for them to make a move before blasting them with the brightest light you could manage. You heard them shout but you didn't care. You stumbled down the stairs, glad to have the railings support.

    Making it into the front lobby you screamed when a lava blast hit the wall where your head had been. Looking up you stopped breathing for a second. The side-kick hadn't come with a plot for revenge, he came with his mentor.

    "Well I guess there's a reason he chose you. A little spitfire aren't ya? It's a shame I'll have to kill you!" He smirked before lobbing another lava ball at you. Dodging you ran behind the front desk and scrambled across the floor.

    "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be. This was supposed to be a simple kidnap and ransome thing but you fought back. Unfortunately for you we keep our promises and I'm pretty sure it was promised to kill you if -" he was cut off by a loud blast and glass shattering.

  You yelped as glass scattered around the room. Ducking you shielded your head as the glass rained over you. Then you screamed as you were grabbed by the back of your neck and lifted into the air. Shit.

    "Uh uh uh. Make one wrong move and I'll roast her from the inside out." The villain sneered from behind you and you winced as his hands began to heat up.

     "Let her go, lava breath. She ain't got nothing to do with this!" Katsuki growled his hands out and sparking.

    "Oh but DynaMight she has everything to do with this. She is your, what do you call her?" The villain prompted and you writhed in his hold.

    "She-" he paused as he glanced at you.

    Your hair was wild and unkempt as you struggled in the villains hold, but your eyes were blazing. Your head had split open at some point because there was blood smeared across your forehead. Your clothes even had small tears in them from getting caught on things. Ultimately though, you were you, his firefly, his world, his life.

    "She's mine, and you're screwed." He growled taking a step forward.

    The villain took this as a threat because his hold on you tightened and his hand heated up. You gasped before kicking your legs back and forth.

    "You son of a-" you started but then the stairwell door opened.

    "Boss that bitch isn't quirkless she can-" you cut the side-kick off with a shout.

    "DynaMight close your goddamned eyes!" Then you lit up their worlds. Literally.

   The villain dropped you as he reached up to his eyes with a scream. Getting up you kicked him in the dick before turning to Katsuki.

    "You and I are going to have a long chat after this, do you hear me? You're in so much trouble." You hissed pointing at him and then turning back around and stomping into the villains back.

    "You're an absolute moron! Both of you!" You screamed as you began to cry as you kicked the villain again and again and again. 

    "Firefly..." You heard Katsuki murmur as he came up behind you, slowly pulling you away from the groaning man.

   "You... You left me, Suki! We're a team and you keep shutting me out! And then these morons..." You sniffled gesturing at them as you turned to face him.

    "I know, baby. I know. I'm- I'm so sorry." He whispered and you huffed into his chest. You pushed away from him, and turned around jabbing a finger at the side-kick and his lackey.

   "And you absolute bafoons, who in the hell told you I was quirkless?!" You raged throwing your hands up.

    Katsuki rolled his eyes before pulling you behind him, where Kirishima took you outside to an ambulance to be looked over.

    Inside Katsuki not only arrested them but, off the record of course, beat the everliving life out of them. Then he found out about the apartment and your trip down the stairs. He had to be held back for that one.

    For about a week you stayed at Kirishima's place because Katsuki said he would rather die than go stay with his mother. You rolled your eyes at that but left it be. You were a little upset when Katsuki told you that you were going to find another place to live.

     "But Katsu-" you whined but he silenced you with a look.

    "We're moving. I can't live in that place knowing how easily they got to you and knowing what happened." He argued and you harrumphed but left it alone.

     In another week you'd moved into a new place with all new furniture, and several security measures put in place. Katsuki had even gone as far as to put in cameras. You tried to reason with him but he wasn't having it. At least he'd let you decorate the home and choose the new furniture.

     He stayed out of work for about 3 weeks before he finally went back. You assured him with a smile but he seemed to be fighting against himself. You laughed as he glared at his phone that was ringing, calling him in.

   "Get out of here. I'll be fine." You laughed and he growled pulling you into his chest.

    "Stay safe. If you need me just call. No matter what I'll answer." He promised and you nodded.

   "Okay. Now get out of here you clingy bastard!" You teased as you pushed away from him.

   He rolled his eyes but grabbed his belongings and turned to the door. You watched him, smiling as he pulled the door open. You were sure he was going to step out but he didn't. He whipped back around and started towards you.

    "What?" You asked, and then he pulled you to him again, kissing you. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he kissed you hungrily.

  You released a small moan as he pulled you to him snugly but then he was pulling away. Your eyes fluttered open as you let out a breathy 'wow'.

    "I'll see you later, firefly." He grinned and you nodded.

     "See you." You breathed as he stepped out. You'd definitely be finishing that later.

[wonlouvre]

Yayyy i absolutely love your writing!!

I would like to request a Hoshi × gn!idol! Reader angst+fluff imagine where Soonyoung cheers/takes care of his reserved s/o who has been having a hard time and has opened up to him about it for the first time. S/o is someone who can't say no easily and because of that their workload had increased a lot. But in the end they can't hold themselves any longer and breaks down.

strength | k. sy.

pairing: hoshi x gn!idol reader genre: fluff, angst, then fluff again warnings: mentions of anxiety, physical and mental tiredness (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1.8k+ (i honestly don’t even know anymore)

💌: thank you very much for requesting! i made some tweaks here and there and i hope you still like it! thank you for loving my writing as well :’( it really means a lot that <3 i hope you like this!

Soonyoung was aware that you’d be coming from Japan for your collaborative magazine photoshoot. He just didn’t know that you’d be going straight from the airport at four o’clock in the morning. 

He thought he read your message wrong saying that you’re on your way to the assigned shooting location. As far as he’s concerned, the call time was at seven a.m. He had to do a double take while squinting his eyes over the brightness of his phone but when he saw another bubble pop out saying you’re already there, he immediately jumped off his bed to shower. 

He misses you. You’ve been going in and out of the country because of promotions and the chances of getting to see you has been slim to none. If he ever meets with you, it will be short because either one of you has to go back to work or has to go back to bed because there is a flight to catch the next day. It’s obviously tough. But your relationship perseveres. 

Soonyoung will do everything to make it work and you are together with him on that. So if it means he has to shower half-asleep and wear his boxers backwards just to see you, he’d never mind.

Your Japanese album tour started and ended successfully but work didn’t stop from there. You were just getting started. Before leaving the said country, you were fully booked for live television performances, interviews, variety shows and the like. It was exhausting but, it was an opportunity that you couldn’t miss out on for the world even if you wanted to. 

Soonyoung is proud of you and he will always be. Heart eyes were formed whenever he got the chance to watch your performances whether it be from a paid livestream event or from kind fans sharing and uploading their videos or photos on Twitter or Instagram. He’s even more in love when it’s in person and he gets to watch your performance plus enjoy it with your never failing supportive fans. 

However, Soonyoung is also worried because he knows you’re also tired. He knows how fulfilling it is to do what you love the most, but he’s no stranger to the physically and mentally tiring part of it. He wasn’t even surprised to catch you asleep on the couch when he arrived at your dressing room. 

Your manager’s eyes brightened when they saw him, quickly standing up from the chair to give him a hug. 

“They told me they just need a fifteen minute nap,” they whisper against Soonyoung’s shoulder as he hugs them back. “But we both know they need more than that.”

Soonyoung sadly smiles while his eyes never leave your curled form. He mutters a simple “I’ll take it from here” while your manager excuses themself to buy everyone breakfast. 

It’s a challenge to take you into his arms without disturbing your sleep because he doesn’t want that from happening. He just wants to hold you for the remaining time without interruption from other people. He just wants to hold you and share this moment of calm before the lights and camera get into action later. 

Soonyoung’s thankful you didn't, although he still felt your lips lightly ghost against his jaw, telling him that you know that he’s here. He brings your legs over his lap while he cradles your head close to his neck. He wishes to lay down, but the couch is too cramped for two bodies so he’d have to settle with this position. He guesses it’s fine with how you deeply inhale his scent and snuggle closer and closer, locking your arms around his waist with no intentions of letting go. 

Just like you, he falls asleep, completely comfortable and content in finally having you in his arms again. 

Your tangled bodies were shaken to wake up at least an hour later. Both of your managers have food in their hand, ready to energize the two of you up before moving forward with the hair and makeup. The agenda for today includes a photoshoot with several changes of outfit, a short shoot for an audio video presentation and lastly an interview or question and answer of some sort. 

Your relationship has been publicly known for two years already. Some fans have been supportive while some have been angry. It’s nothing new and it’s nothing the two of you could care about at this point. 

Countless projects have been offered to the two of you during the course of those two years whether it be a song or dance performance, a guesting on a famous variety show and even a three second cameo appearance on a drama. They’re all lovely offers and you would love to participate, but the two of you made a decision to keep the relationship private. Sure, you’ll accept it from time to time. But, it’s still very limited to one to two songs to sing or dance to together and some magazine photoshoots. Just like now. 

By far, this is the third time the two of you would be featured on a magazine cover. Your respective publicists already know how to communicate to the publishing company your terms and conditions. Questions about your relationship are allowed, but to a certain number only. The rest will be about what’s mostly seen by fans and the rest of the public which is automatically your music. 

The concept is not necessarily daringly romantic. After all, what you’re trying to promote here is the clothes. But your chemistry is maintained with a few fleeting touches here and there. In one shot, you two were holding hands and the other has his arm is loosely wrapped around your neck. 

You and Soonyoung are careful to not get lost in each other’s eyes during the short breaks in between because the cameras were still rolling. Although, his soft touches on your hand and arm still lingered. On the other hand, you help him fix his hair whenever he gets excited and jumps from time to time. You could kiss him right now, but again, you want to be careful. 

The shoot concluded faster than you thought and the next thing you know, the two of you are sitting side by side with a camera blinking red in front, ready to record the interview included in the contract. 

The interview consisted of questions that’s nothing out of the ordinary. The magazine asked about your favorite go-to styles lately, your look inspirations, a little bit of this or that, your recent music releases or favorite music releases at the moment and of course something about your relationship that you're comfortable and willing enough to share. 

But one particular question caught you off guard that you had to hold your tears and brave through the rest of the interview without showing any signs that you’re about to cry.

“How have you guys been lately, individually?”

“I’ve been great,” you quickly answer with a smile that didn’t even reach your eyes. The camera may not have noticed, but Soonyoung did. It took a lot of patience and restraint for your boyfriend to stop himself from cutting the interviewer off to ask you again how you really have been. 

Everything that was in store for the two of you today ends and when the cameras are gone, you and Soonyoung hand in hand walk back to your dressing room. It’s a relief that this is the last project for the day and you’re glad you could get some rest for the coming week.

Your body slumps on the couch while the staff pack up. You puff out a breath before closing your eyes. You wish you could yell out how tired you are lately. Work piled up over the course of six months and you couldn’t have at least two days away from the makeup and flashing lights. 

Soonyoung bites his lower lip as he settles beside you. He’s contemplating whether he should ask you now or later because he doesn’t want you to grow conscious and shut yourself away. He knows how brave and strong you are. But he also wants you to know that you can trust him and that if you ever need a shoulder to cry or at least lean on, his are more than welcoming. 

“You okay, babe?” He asks in the quiet as the staff leaves one by one. “Anything bothering you?”

You surprise him by sitting up straight and opening your eyes, welling with tears. That makes him shoot up and instantly hug you close. “Oh baby.”

You finally cry and set free the tears that you’ve been locking deep within you. You thought you could brave through this pain and anxiety without having the need to shed any vulnerability. You thought this shall pass soon. You thought you could do this. 

But here you are now letting go with sniffles and shaking shoulders as Soonyoung gently caresses the top of your head. 

He hates to see you cry. But it’s only right to let you. 

“I just feel like I’m going to miss out on everything if I turn down any project offered to me.”

Soonyoung pouts when he hears what’s been bothering you. It took a while for you to calm down and finally talk, but it’s okay. He doesn’t mind. He will never mind. 

“I understand, honey,” he assures you and wipes your tear stained cheek. “And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.”

Your lips shake again and crying makes you want to hide. Without hesitation, you crawl to your boyfriend’s lap and wrap your arms around his shoulder. Soonyoung doesn’t complain and just keeps you close, protective arms around your waist.

The dressing room is empty except for the two of you. The staff got the message once Soonyoung pleaded with them through his eyes to give you some time with him since you’re already done for the day.

“It’s also okay to work and work,” he continues, soothing hands rubbing against your back. “But at some point, it’s also okay to take a break for them.”

You pull away and rest your hands on his neck. “Even though I’m going to miss out?”

Soonyoung nods and leans his forehead against yours. “Yes and there’s also nothing wrong with that.”

“I seriously want to go on a trip with my family,” you say and sigh. “And of course, with you too.”

Soonyoung can’t help but giggle. “I’d love to. How about next month? Let’s go somewhere with your family or friends. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?”

Your boyfriend’s enthusiasm puts a smile on your face and this time, the smile reaches your eyes. “Let’s go somewhere quiet first. I want to take a long nap before we proceed to do anything that needs an awake body.”

“You got it, babe,” Soonyoung promises and kisses your lips.

[youare-mysonshine]

heavy || bucky barnes

Summary: reader’s mental health has been taking a decline and bucky is there.

Requested: No

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: talks of mental health, depression, anxiety, angst, cussing.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: Hey guys, I’m back I guess lmao. I’ve really been struggling with my mental health lately and I guess I kinda just wanted to put it into words, something productive? And I’ve been feeling our angsty emo boy bucky barnes. Most of you might’ve followed me for my Oscar fics but I kinda wanna branch out and I thought this would be a good time to do so. Anyways, I know that some of you have inboxed me or messaged me and I haven’t responded and I’m sorry. But I just want you all to know that if you’re struggling, I’m always here to talk. About anything, always. So, I hope you enjoy this. I might’ve cried while writing this lmao and I also might’ve ended it on such an awkward place but, i’m still getting used to writing again. (Flashbacks are in italics)

————

Bucky didn’t miss the dark circles under your eyes. He didn’t miss the way you sort of slouched as you approached him. He didn’t miss the way that your smile didn’t really meet your eyes.

“Hey,” You said in a breathless voice. “Sorry, I’m late. I got held up.” You said as you took a seat across from him in the booth. Held up. It was better than telling him that you were thinking of just not showing up at all. In the end, you knew that you couldn’t do that. You couldn’t just blow off your new friend who you had so enjoyed spending time with. So, in a rush, you got dressed and made your way to the small, quiet diner that you two had taken to frequenting together. Bucky Barnes was an enigma if you’d ever met one. The way that you had met was rather.. cliche and something straight from a story.

You had been trying to lay off of the caffeine for a while, realizing that you had nearly gone through an entire packet of 32 k-pods that you had just purchased. You realized that you might’ve had a problem. You had been going pretty strong with staying away from caffeine for the time being, until you passed by a coffee shop and got a whiff of coffee. You just couldn’t help yourself; you bought a cup of coffee. It was when you were walking down the street, holding the cup of coffee in one hand, looking down, that you didn’t see someone walking right in your path. You had collided into what seemed like a solid wall and the impact had caused you to squeeze the cup of coffee in surprise, the warm liquid burning your hand, staining your clothes and the other person. You had realized it was another person you had crashed into when you heard them let out a low cuss.

Bucky’s grumpy self had been fully prepared to tell you off for crashing into him, having just left his therapist’s office, but when you looked up at him with those bright eyes of yours, a million apologies spilling from your lips a mile a minute, he swallowed whatever harsh words had nearly sprung forth. He had apologized as well; both of you had been at fault. Bucky had been going over his session with Dr. Raynor that morning, completely lost in his own mind, and you had your eyes trained on the ground, something that was a bad habit of yours. The shock of realizing you had bumped into a man, a really really handsome man with the brightest blue eyes you had ever seen, had made you temporarily forget that you had practically scorched your hand with the coffee, and that you had gotten it on him as well.

“I’m so, so sorry.” You said once again, quickly averting your eyes from the handsome stranger’s face. Instead you focused on the smushed cup in your hand and the stains on his leather jacket. It just made you feel even terrible. “I, I can pay for you to get your jacket cleaned, if you want. Really. I wasn’t paying attention and I just, for whatever reason, squished my cup and.. I’m sorry.” You said, kind of breathlessly.

“It’s.. it’s alright.” His voice was like the coffee that you had been drinking. Smooth and rich. It was deep, something that reverberated deep in your chest and had your stomach fluttering with butterflies. “I wasn’t paying attention either. Really, it’s fine. And don’t worry about my jacket. No harm, no foul.” He said. “You should, uh, you should take care of that hand. Hope you didn’t burn yourself too bad.” He gestured to your hand, still clutching the cup, with one of his own gloved hands.

“Oh, I’ll be fine. It wasn’t that hot. Thank you, though. And again, I’m really, really sorry.” Sparing one, seemingly, last glance at the handsome stranger, you side stepped him and began to walk away, tossing the empty cup of coffee in a trash can on the sidewalk. But you didn’t get very far because that deep voice called out to you, halting you in your tracks.

“Can I buy you another cup of coffee?” Bucky’s mouth had opened and spoken the words long before his brain could even catch up. He didn’t know why he had asked you that, but something in his gut was just telling him too.

“What?” A look of total bewilderment had crossed your face and he had seen it.

“I just, well I thought that, since I bumped into you, I could make it up to you by buying you a new cup of coffee. If you wanted, I mean. You don’t have to say yes if you don’t want to. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.” Bucky clarified, hand stuffed in his pocket, waiting for your answer. For a few seconds, you simply stood there, unsure of what to say because surely this wasn’t happening? The last time that you had gone out with a guy was.. well, shit, you didn’t even remember the last time. The little voice in the back of your head, that anxious, paranoid little voice, was telling you not to go off with a stranger. You’d watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds and other true crime shows and documentaries to know that situations like this never turned out well. However, you didn’t get a bad feeling from this particular man. He seemed just as awkward and slightly frazzled as you felt. So you agreed.

“I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Y/N.”

That had happened about two months ago. Ever since then, you and Bucky had formed a strong friendship. Your first time getting coffee with him had been awkward, as were the next few times that you had seen one another. But things got easier. Becoming friends was easy. You kind of fell into this routine, almost as if you two had known each other your whole lives. That was why Bucky telling you who he really was had been terrifying for him. He carried around guilt and shame and just contempt for everything he’d done. Everything The Winter Soldier represented, and when he told you, he figured that you would think the same. He had asked you meet him at the diner that had now become your spot and and you remember how he nervously wrung his gloved hands together. You remember when you asked him what was wrong and he didn’t verbally respond but he took off his gloves; the right one first and then the left, revealing a shiny black metal hand, golden lines intricately placed.

He told you then. Maybe he didn’t tell you everything but he told you who he was and he had braced himself for you to get up and storm out. Or, to yell at him and tell him how much of a monster he was. But, it never came. Instead, you reached out and placed your hand on top his. Not his real hand, but the metal one. You didn’t say anything. You just gave him that smile that was quickly becoming his favorite. Sometimes, silence spoke a thousand words. To Bucky, you had become kind of a respite for him. Even in the late nights or mornings when he woke up after a nightmare. Or after a particularly hard session with Dr. Raynor. He had closed himself off from other people except you.

Bucky might not have known it, but he gave you the same level of comfort as you gave him. You found yourself craving his presence. Every time you were around him, you couldn’t help but to smile or laugh. In the time that you spent together, your mind was clear and free from all your worries. It all evaporated into thin air. Your mind, usually so active with all sorts of thoughts and worries, could finally rest when you were with Bucky. You could sleep. You could get up in the morning without that stress and anxiety drowning you. It was okay. It was great.

Until it wasn’t.

“No problem, doll.” He said, gloved hands clasped under the table on his lap. “I already ordered. Got your usual. Hope that was alright.” He added, to which you nodded absentmindedly.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Thanks Buck.” You said, mustering up a half hearted smile that didn’t reach your eyes. It was like even smiling drained the energy from you. You were exhausted. Not even just physically but mentally and emotionally. You had been having such good days for a while now, since meeting Bucky. You felt like maybe you would finally be alright but.. this feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that nothing was quite right, it was heavy. It weighed you down. It suffocated you. You wanted to be alone, but you also couldn’t stand to be alone because when you were alone, you were just stuck in your head and being in your head was the absolute worst place to be.

The intrusive thoughts had started. They told you that you would do nothing but weigh Bucky down. That he didn’t need someone like you in his life, someone with clear problems of their own, when he was going to therapy trying to better himself. Even if it had been mandatory for him to go. You wanted to push him away, save him from yourself, but you also couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

Bucky noticed the shift in you. Normally when you two met up, whether it was at the diner or anywhere else, you would usually talk his ear off. Not that he minded, he was content to just sit back and listen to you. Sometimes, you’d tell him about a new book that you had started reading. You had just started reading the fifth Harry Potter book and you were trying to get him to read them. You’d tell him about your day. You’d ask him how his day went, how it went with Dr. Raynor, though you never pushed for more information. You always let him share if he was comfortable with it and he appreciated that. Sometimes you teased him for being such an old man.

The food came soon after you had arrived and sure enough, Bucky had ordered your usual. It sent a pang through your heart when you realized that he had memorized your order, down to the extra syrup and whipped cream on the pancakes. Bucky always liked to make fun of you for ordering the same thing when you came to the diner. No matter what time it was, you always ordered the pancakes with extra syrup and extra whip cream, with the strawberries on the side. Secretly, though he found it adorable.

Today, you had barely even taken more than a few bites and that was what really let Bucky know that something wasn’t right. You kept your head down, eyes on the pancakes and you cut them up, bringing a few up to your mouth and chewing slowly, but you mostly just moved them around your plate with the fork in your hand. Bucky himself had barely taken only a few bites of the food he’d ordered for himself, but it wasn’t for lack of appetite, it was because of the growing concern. His bright blue eyes were now a stormy grey, kind of like the clouds that you see during a heavy storm. His brows were furrowed, giving him an appearance almost as if he were angry.

“You alright, Y/N? You’ve barely eaten your food and normally you finish before I do.” He attempted to joke, to bring about that smile that seemed to always fill him with warmth. He half expected you to look up at him with that cheeky little smile, a mischievous look in your eyes and say “You know, I would be offended by that, but I know why you eat so slow, Buck. I completely understand. You don’t want your dentures to fall out.” But it never came.

You don’t know what it was. Bucky asking you if you were alright or if it was simply all the pressure of just.. everything, finally breaking, but you could feel the hot tears in your eyes. They blurred your vision until you couldn’t really see the plate of the pancakes in focus. The dam had finally come apart and you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You set the fork down and buried your face in your hands, your shoulders lightly shaking as you began to cry. All Bucky could do was stare for a few seconds, alarm written all over his face. Alarm and distress because he had no idea what just happened and if he had done something to upset you.

“Woah woah, hey. Sweetheart, hey. What’s wrong?” In seconds, Bucky was out of his side of the booth and scooting in beside you. You felt the comfort of his warmth, you felt his arm tentatively, almost hesitantly, slide around your shoulders and anchor you to him. You shook your head, attempting to calm down, to stop the tears but the more you tried, the more they seemed to come.

“I-I’m sorry, Bucky.. I.. I’m sorry.. I-I’m fine. Really.” You said, sniffling. It was apparent to you both that you were not alright and he really just wanted to get to the bottom of it. Or at least attempt to comfort you. But doing that in the middle of a diner with other people around wasn’t ideal.

“Hey, my apartment is only a short walk away. Come on, let’s get you out of here and somewhere more quiet.” You didn’t protest. You just nodded and slid out of the booth after he did. Bucky took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the table, paying for the uneaten food, and then quickly led you out of the establishment. He kept his hand on you, almost like an anchor. Whether it was to reassure you or himself, he didn’t know and you didn’t mind either. It was probably the only thing that kept you from retreating inside of your mind and giving in to the panic that so desperately wanted out.

You didn’t even realize that you had reached his apartment until he had led you up the stairs and you were standing behind him as he unlocked the door. He allowed you to step in first and then quickly followed behind you, shutting the door as he did so. You didn’t really get the chance to take in his apartment because he had ushered you to sit on his couch while he knelt in front of you.

“Alright, you’re scarin’ me here, doll. What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?” The sheer look of concern and slight panic in his face and those pretty eyes of his made the waterworks come back again. You shook your head, your face scrunched up in anguish. Hot bullet tears fell from your eyes and left a wet path in their wake down your cheeks. Bucky wasn’t one to pry; he hated it when people tried to pry into his life and he didn’t do it to you, but he couldn’t stand the sight of seeing you cry. He couldn’t stand the sight of your once bright eyes and cheery smile just.. gone. You eyes were sad and your lips were pulled into a frown. “Talk to me, baby.” He practically pleaded.

“I just.. I don’t.. I don’t know how to explain it, Buck.” You cried. “I-I.. I just feel like..” You let out a frustrated cry when you couldn’t find the right words but Bucky was patient. He reached a hand up, cupping your cheek and wiping away the tears that kept falling. “I don’t feel.. happy. Everyday I wake up and I just, I feel fine for like a few seconds and then everything just comes crashing down on me. I can’t ever stop thinking. I can’t sleep at night. I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling like this, Bucky. And I feel fucking crazy. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even really like me. I feel.. hopeless, like nothing is ever going to be okay. I might feel okay for a few seconds but then it just goes away.” You explained, though you were sure that you probably sounded like a raving and ranting lunatic. “Before I met you, I liked being alone but I also hated it because when I was alone, I would just overthink and overthink and overthink about every fucking thing. If it wasn’t one thing it was another just giving me such bad anxiety and.. I don’t know what to do anymore, Bucky. I’m just tired of feeling like this. Feeling like nothing is ever going to be okay, like I’m never going to be okay. I just feel.. alone.”

His heart was well and truly broken. In the two months that he’d known you, he hadn’t known how badly you had struggled with your mental health. He hadn’t known the war that you fought within your mind, and how bad it had become. You were such saving grace for Bucky; you saved him from the wars inside of his mind. The constant feeling of guilt that he fought with on a daily basis, and now.. he just wanted to do the same for you. He wanted to shoulder some of the pain that you carried, the pain that seemed to be weighing you down. Both of his hands now cupped your cheeks so delicately, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him. His blue eyes were shining, looking at you with not pity, but something like.. understanding. If anyone knew what you were feeling, it was Bucky.

“You’re not alone.” His smooth and rich voice was so soft, so gentle that it brought on a new set of tears. “You’re not alone, sweetheart. Not anymore. You know why? Cause you got me.” He said. “I know what it’s like to feel hopeless. To feel stuck in your head. To feel like nothing is ever gonna get better. I felt like that in Wakanda. Sometimes.. sometimes, we need help. And I know I’m not one to be talking considering that I don’t really like talking to my therapist or even going,” That roused the smallest of smiles from you. “I’m here. You know that, right? I’m here. You got me and I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I don’t care if you have a million bad days. I don’t care if you feel like you’re bothering me. I’ll be there every time.” You two have gradually gravitated close to one another until your foreheads were pressed together. Bucky was still knelt in front of you on the couch, his hands still holding your cheeks. Your eyes were closed and you could feel his warm breath fanning your face. The tears had stopped falling but you were still sniffling softly. “You’ve helped me. Even if you don’t know it. You’ve helped me.” He was whispering. There was no one but you two in his apartment but he was still whispering the words meant for only you to hear. “Now, let me help you. Please.”

“Okay. I trust you, Bucky.”

[j-j-ehlby-writes]

Almost (c.e.)

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word Count: ~5.9k

Summary: You and Chris were set up on a blind date by your mutual friends. Sparks flew, but you never heard from him again. Two years later, you come face-to-face with him once more for their friends wedding.

Warnings: Some angst, swearing, not much else

A/N: This is a mixture of the movie “Life as We Know It” (mmm Daddy Josh Duhamel 🤤), a dating experience I had, and one scene from One Tree Hill. Enjoy.

My Masterlist

                    Two years ago…

My heart is pounding all the way to my ears. My hands are shaking under the table. My knee bounces uncontrollably as I wait.

I knew this was a bad idea. Why did I let her convince me to do this?

“You haven’t had a boyfriend for as long as I’ve known you.” My best friend so pointedly mentioned when we were out to lunch last week.

 “What’s wrong with that?” I counter.

“I’ve known you for three and a half years.” She deadpans. Even without looking at her, I know she has her eyebrow raised at me and her lips are pursed.

“Your point?” I know she thinks my serious lack of companionship these past few years is wearing on me, but it’s been quite the opposite. Not being attached is freeing. I can do what I want when I want; I don’t have anyone to answer to. If I want to sleep until 3 on a Saturday, I’m going to do it. If I don’t want to socialize with anyone, I won’t. If I want to take a spontaneous road trip, I’m going to do it. My life is my own and that’s how I like it.

“I want my best friend to have someone to experience life with.”

My shoulders dropped, sighing in defeat. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation.

“I want you to be as happy as I am.” I see the love in her eyes as her mind goes to her boyfriend and their new relationship. They’ve only been together for a few months, but I know that this is it for her. She’s a smitten kitten and he is equally as infatuated with her. They’re sickeningly cute. “Which is why I think you need to meet one of his friends-”

“Lemme stop you right there,” I interrupt her, “I hate blind dates.”

“You’ve never been on one.”

“And there’s a reason for that.” She rolled her eyes at me. “They’re cliché, they’re awkward for both parties, and they never amount to anything, thus being a total waste of time.”

She sighed, “Ever the skeptic.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“Regardless,” she continues, “I think you’ll really like this guy. He’s already expressed interest in you.”

Like that makes everything better. “Great so now I have to live up to his impossible expectations of me when I know absolutely nothing about him.” As if the idea of a blind date wasn’t bad enough, now it’s only a semi-blind date. There’s no doubt in my mind that she has hyped me up impossibly high, that’s what a best friend is for. However, when your confidence level is next to none and already skeptical of the pending meeting, there’s no way he’ll like who I am in reality.

“I can tell you anything you want to know about him.” She is bargaining with me. She really wants me to meet this guy. She wouldn’t be trying this hard if she didn’t believe we would hit it off.

“Well is he nice?” This was the only real question I had. If he isn’t kind then there’s really no future.

“Incredibly!” She continues to tell me of the many things he has done for a charity he started a few years ago and slowly but surely she was starting to convince me. If he was that generous then he has to have a good heart and therefore is a good man.

How bad could it be?

I check my phone, glancing at the time. Great, he’s late. That can’t be a good start.

Numerous reasons why popped into my head.

Reason one: he saw me and bolted.

Reason two: he got into an accident on the way here and he could be in the hospital.

Reason three: he changed his mind and decided to stand me up.

More and more played through my head as I sipped my drink. 

By the time I was on my second drink, I was convinced he wasn’t showing up. I knew this was a ridiculous idea. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. I never should have listened to her.

I chugged the rest of my drink followed by some water before standing up to leave some cash. I was slightly humiliated for actually thinking this would be any different than all of my expectations.

My shoulder rammed into another as I turned to leave.

“Oh my, God, I’m so sorry!” A hand steadied me, gently grabbing the shoulder he ran into. “Are you okay?”

“My already small ego is a little bruised, but I think I’ll live.” I looked up to meet my assaulter’s eyes and immediately I froze.

Holy shit, it’s Chris Evans.

His piercing blue eyes were staring right at me, his concern was directed towards me. In all of his charming, ray of sunshine, bearded glory, he was here.

“I’m so sorry that I’m late. Traffic was insane over the bridge. I would have called but I don’t have your number.” He half-smirked but not in a cocky way. I’d seen him do it in interviews before. He could have come up with a lame excuse, but somehow I knew he was telling the truth.

“No, it’s okay. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief, his gorgeous and perfect smile taking over his features. He looked down at the table and it disappeared. “Were you leaving?”

“Uh,” I stammered, “I was because I thought I was being stood up.”

“I feel awful. Please let me make it up to you. Let’s sit down, have a nice dinner, and get to know each other.”

I hesitate, now even more nervous than I was before.

As if sensing my hesitation, he decided to sweeten the pot a bit to persuade me, “We can even get dessert.”

I chuckle at his attempt. That’ll do it though. I sit back down with him following suit, finally starting our date.

We talked about everything. Anything and everything. No topic was off limits. Hours went by but it felt like minutes. We didn’t even know how long we’d been there until our waiter came to tell us that the restaurant was closed. We left and walked around the city until the night sky was giving way to the morning. He accompanied me back to my car, gave me the best hug I’ve ever received and a kiss on the cheek, promising we’ll get together again soon, and opening and closing my car door for me. I drove away with the biggest smile on my face and literal butterflies in my stomach. That was the best date I’d ever been on.

When I made it back to my apartment with the early morning rays peeking through my shades, I had a text message waiting for me from him. Just a simple good night, he had had an amazing time, and he couldn’t wait to see me again.

I fell asleep, hopeful. Hopeful that I would see him again, that this could maybe go somewhere. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but it was hard not to. I hadn’t felt this way in an exceptionally long time. I haven’t been on this good of a date in equally as long. I can’t wait to see him again…

                      Present day...

I finally pull into the parking lot after an hour stuck in traffic. My 12-hour day at work today has taken a lot out of me. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically. Thankfully though, my 2-week-long vacation starts tomorrow. After that, I have fourteen days of no working, no getting up at the ass crack of dawn to be able to drive in miserable traffic, no dealing with difficult or boring co-workers. Just fourteen days of rest and relaxation, after the wedding of course.

My best friend and her fiancé are getting married on Saturday. I’ve watched them go through all of their highs and lows throughout the last few years and when he came to me telling me he planned on proposing, I couldn’t have been happier for them. He even asked me to secretly photograph the moment for her. She was more than surprised about everything.

Now their wedding is here and everyone couldn’t be more excited to celebrate them.

Tomorrow is their rehearsal dinner. The wedding party and their plus ones are all invited.

I walk into my apartment, immediately relieving myself from the confines of my shoes. A heavenly scent registers to me and I’m carried all the way to the kitchen. I see my sexy boyfriend standing at the stove with his back towards me.

“Hey babe,” he calls without turning around.

I hum, happily making my way towards him. I wrap my arms around his waist, placing a kiss on his back. “What is that unbelievable smell?”

He chuckles, vibrating through his chest. “Your favorite, of course.”

I hum again, “You spoil me, baby.”

He chuckles again, turning in my arms. His handsome face finally came into view. His gorgeous brown eyes look into mine as I get lost in his. For the past year, I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in a while. Since the day I met him, it was like everything fell into place. He’s sweet, ambitious, funny, kindhearted, passionate, and just overall the best man I had ever met. He makes me so happy…

Oh who am I kidding? He’s perfect. He is everything I ever wanted. If I made a list of all of the qualities I wanted in a husband, he would check off every single box.

But the feelings I have had for him over the last year are nothing compared to what I had in one night for him. I find myself wishing his eyes were bright blue instead of dark brown. I wish his arms were around me instead of the ones around me right now. The butterflies from that night have stayed dormant ever since.

I don’t know what happened after that night. I honestly thought we had a good time that night. Conversations flowed seamlessly. We made each other laugh so hard we had tears running down our faces. The physical connection was there- at first he had his arm around my shoulders as we walked around town, but as time went on he slowly moved lower around my waist, eventually intertwining our hands together until we arrived back at our cars. He even said that he wanted to see me again.

But I never heard from him again after that one text message. No call, no text, not even a message from my friend’s boyfriend. Nothing. I was disappointed beyond belief. I didn’t think he was that guy: the type to ditch someone without any explanation or goodbye. I thought I understood him to be a gentleman. Everything I had read about him pointed to him being one of the purest humans in the world. This was the opposite of all of that.

From that day on, I’ve loathed him. He gave me the perfect evening and then cut me off cold turkey from anything further. I have a three strike rule. His first: he was late. His second: he tricked me into liking him. His third: he lied to me. Three strikes and he’s out.

I have tried not to look back since. It’s not without its difficulties though since he’s literally everywhere. On magazine covers, in commercials, movie trailers, streaming services- he’s there. Why did he have to be such a successful actor? If he weren’t, it would make for forgetting him that much easier.

No closure. No answers. Nothing.

The rehearsal dinner went smoothly the next night which hopefully was foreshadowing for the big day itself. 

A majority of us were standing around about to start when the doors loudly being opened drew everyone’s attention away from our milling about. A man stood in the middle of the doorway then strode in like he owned the place. The closer he got, the more the details of his face came into focus.

No. Freaking. Way.

I look toward my best friend. She looked like she wasn’t shocked he was late, but she knew he was coming. I creep up behind her and clear my throat. Instantly she cringed.

“Did you forget to tell me something?” I whisper to her.

She sends me an apologetic smile, “Well, I actually put off telling you ‘cause I didn’t know how you would react and then I meant to tell you last night but with the whole ‘I’m getting married in two days’ buzz took over and now the rehearsal is here-”

“Just please tell me I’m not walking in with him.” I beg.

She chuckles nervously before she escaped to go greet him with her fiancé.

I turn to her sister who is also one of my closest friends. “Did you know he was going to be a groomsman?”

The guilt written in her face tells me everything I need to know. “She made me promise not to tell you.”

I groan, “The loyalty level around here is staggeringly low.”

I head over to where my boyfriend is standing and take comfort in his arms before I have to deal with the man who broke my heart.

“Are you okay?” He asks a little confused by my actions.

I nod, “Just tired from last night.” He chuckles at the mention of the night before, squeezing me into his chest.

“Alright everyone! Time to get started.” The wedding coordinator beckons us all to the back entrance of the barn standing next to our corresponding wedding party member. I stand right in front of the Maid of Honor and Best Man. I kept my eyes forward focusing on anything but the guy who took his place next to me.

“It’s good to see you,” He murmurs to me over the instructions of the coordinator.

I scoff and roll my eyes. He has the nerve to say that to me after two years of silence. I imagined a million times what it would be like to see him again. I’d imagined a lot of screaming with possible hitting. Or I thought about the ever-effective, old fashioned silent treatment. He doesn’t deserve to know that our one night out together effected me so much and I’ve carried a rather large torch for him ever since. At the very moment, it will be the latter, but there’s no telling what tonight and tomorrow will bring.

“Now ladies, rest- don’t grab- your hand near the crook of his arm. Men, keep your arm at that angle with an open hand resting on your stomach- no fist. And don’t forget to smile- this is a happy day!” As quickly as he showed up, the coordinator was on to the bride and her father before either of us could register he was there.

I begrudgingly did as I was instructed, “resting” my hand on his bare forearm, holding a stand-in bouquet for the occasion in my other hand.

“Are you not going to talk to me?” He speaks again but I ignore him once more.

Thankfully that was when it was our turn to walk down the aisle. For the rest of the rehearsal, he didn’t get a chance to say anything else. As soon as we were done, I go straight for my boyfriend. I figured there’s no way he would approach me if I were with another man.

We all head to the restaurant afterwards to celebrate the last night before our friends begin their lives together as husband and wife. I keep my distance from Chris, always sticking close with my boyfriend.

The one moment I was alone was when I went to the bathroom. I thought for the few minutes I wouldn’t be in danger.

However I was wrong.

As soon as I step out an arm shot out in front of me. A very pale muscular arm.

“Are you seriously going to ignore me for the next two days?”

I duck under his arm fully planning on continuing what I set out to do.

“Y/N,” he grabs my arm, “will you please talk to me? What did I do to make you so mad at me?”

I whip around hopefully sending daggers his way. “Are you serious right now?”

“She finally speaks!” He exclaims.

“Because I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Like, I don’t think I heard you right.” All of the feelings I’ve been burying for two years were making their way up to the surface and I don’t think I can stop them. “We had a fantastic night. It was literally the best night of my life, it was the most comfortable with a guy that I had ever been. You made me laugh, you gave me butterflies, you helped me feel for the first time in years.” I try to swallow down the lump that was forming in my throat. “You told me you wanted to see me again. You made me excited for the future for once in my life… and then you took it away.”

With every second that passed, his expression got closer and closer to utter defeat: his shoulders slumped, his grip on my arm loosened, his jaw slowly unclenched, his eyebrows furrowed.

“You were late,” I hold up one finger, “You tricked me,” two fingers,” “You lied to me.” Three fingers were up and in front of his face for emphasis. “Three strikes and you’re out.”

I back away from him, having nothing more I wanted to say. As soon as I turned the corner, I felt liberated… for about five seconds. When that passed, devastation hit. For the last two years, I’ve held out hope- I tried not to- but I did, that maybe someday something could happen between us. That maybe, just maybe, we could pick up where we left off that night.

Now that the moment of confrontation has come and gone, I feel all the hope fade away. All of those possibilities I pictured have left the building. Being with him is no longer an option. I have my boyfriend who makes me happy, who gives me everything I could possibly want.

The rest of the night went on without another incident. Chris kept his distance. However, I could feel his eyes on me for every second that passed as we sat at the table. It was a relief when we finally left and could retreat back to our hotel rooms for the night. The bride and I got to stay in a suite that we’ll all be getting ready in in the morning. They wanted to uphold the “not seeing each other the night before the wedding,” even though they’ve lived with each other for a year and a half now.

On the wedding day, everything went according to plan. Everyone was on time to hair and make-up, pictures went flawlessly, the weather cooperated with everything, Chris didn’t attempt to talk to me at all- it was a perfect day to watch two people who love each other commit to the other for the rest of their lives.

But then came the reception. That’s when I knew apparently all bets would be off. The ceremony was over. Niceties would wear off as more and more alcohol is consumed. I was not looking forward to it.

We make our ridiculous entrances and take our seats at the head table. We eat then speeches were made. Lots of laughs were had as the Best Man dished on stories he had with the groom growing up, a few tears were shed at her sister’s after recounting the moment the bride knew he was the man of her dreams- overall I’d say they were a success.

Again, I felt his eyes on me, burning holes in the side of my head from the other side of the groom for the entire dining portion of the evening. I kept myself from glancing in his direction, instead focusing on the conversations with the bride’s sister next to me and my boyfriend who is across the way- anything not to meet his eyes.

Finally the DJ announces it was time for all to convene on the dancefloor after the specialty dances. I immediately see my boyfriend start to stand, knowing he’d been ready for this all night. I’d been looking forward to dancing with him all night as well, I even removed my shoes in anticipation. As I stand up, a hand is held out in front of me. I knew whose hand it was. I remember staring at it as he would rub his lips on our date. The strength of it as it intertwined with mine as we walked down the streets of our town, the safeness I felt as he squeezed it if he detected I was getting anxious around a group of people and I needed the reassurance. I knew that hand well, unfortunately.

“Dance with me?” He nearly whispers in my ear. I didn’t realize he was that close until I could feel said whisper on my neck. I contain the shiver that runs down my spine at how husky his voice is. God I’ve missed that…

No! I will not be enchanted by him again. He does not deserve me.

I exhale the breath I was holding, it comes out a lot harsher than I expected. “No, thank you.” I turn away from him, but his hand gently grabs my arm stopping me from going any further.

He whispers again, “He’s not good enough for you,” before walking away.

I’m frozen in place. I glare at his retreating back as he makes his way over to the bar. My mouth hangs open in disbelief. How dare he… How fucking dare he assume anything about me or my relationship. He doesn’t know anything about what our relationship is like. My boyfriend treats me so well, spoils me even though I know I don’t deserve it. He listens to me, he cares about me, and he makes me laugh until I cry- he’s everything I’ve wanted in a man. Chris is the one who had his chance and subsequently blew it. He has no right to judge or even comment on my relationship when he knows absolutely nothing about it.

I hurriedly make my way to my awaiting boyfriend and pull him onto the crowded dancefloor. “You okay?” He asks me, “Did he say something to upset you?”

“Nothing worth repeating.” All I wanted to do was forget about him and his irrelevant feelings towards my relationship…

…Except I couldn’t. His words rattled me. Does he see something I don’t? He told me on our date that he’s an excellent judge of character so he wouldn’t say something like that unless he got a bad feeling, right? Either that or he said it just to get under my skin and force me to talk to him. No matter the reason I hate him for it because my pride won’t let it stand.

I spot him leaning against the bar, staring directly at the two of us over the rim of his glass. His perfect eyebrow quirks up at the eye contact, that sets my blood to boiling. He thinks he’s so smug. I wish I could just slap that stupid hidden smirk right off his perfect face…

Following a few dances, I mutter something about him going to dance with the bride to my boyfriend before exiting the dancefloor. I rush out of the barn, away from the crowd needing some air from his suffocating gaze. I find a little lit area that’s perfect for pictures. There are rectangular hay bales set together as a makeshift U-shaped bench with some low watt bulbs strung up above between two poles. It would be serene if I weren’t already on edge.

After taking a few deep breaths, I finally feel like I can speak without yelling. “You had no right.”

I didn’t have to turn around to know he followed me out here. It’s exactly what I wanted him to do, just like it was his intention to get under my skin. As much as I wished to avoid this conversation it seems that we can’t go on without it. We may tear each other apart in the process, but this is my chance for closure. This is my only opportunity to get the answers I’ve been needing to move on for the past two years. Two years of wondering what went wrong after the most perfect date I’ve ever been on with an equally perfect man has been eating at my heart and mind. I hated always wondering “what if” or “what would I be doing right now if I were with him” especially when I started dating my boyfriend. I had no answers as to why those questions could not be. I thought with time I’d stop asking them, thinking I’d never see the man again. He’s a big movie star, why would he wonder about a woman he went on one date with?

As I expected, his deep baritone voice comes behind me, but his words do little to ease my nerves. In fact they set them off even more so than before. “I’m sorry.”

I scoff at his half-hearted apology, knowing he doesn’t mean it at all. “Oh bite me, Christopher.” I turn around to face him. God he looks even better out here. The subtle gold glow from the lights are complimenting his skin tone, they make his baby blues shine which just frustrates me more.

“Please, Y/N,-” He takes a step closer to me, but I won’t have that. 

“No,” I take a step back keeping the needed distance between us for fear I may strangle him. “I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit excuses. You had no right to pass judgment on a relationship that you know absolutely nothing about.”

He slips his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. “Oh, I’ve seen enough.”

“Really?” I jut my hip out, resting my hand on it. “In the two days you’ve been here, you think you’ve got us all figured out?”

“Yes,” he answers with conviction. 

My shaking hands clench into fists, trying my damnedest not to lose control. I entangle them into my hair as best as I can without ruining the work the hairstylist did this morning before running them down my face. He has some nerve. 

“We had one night. One night! One nearly perfect night together and suddenly that makes you an expert on what is good for me?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘an expert’-”

“I wouldn’t say anything!” I interrupt, “I never heard from you again. Now after two years, you come in here acting like you know anything about me or my relationship? Who do you think you are?”

“A man who made a mistake!” He snaps.

There was a long pause. I never expected to hear that from him. All these years I wanted to think the worst of him for leaving me hanging like that. He got my hopes up, thinking we may have a future together only for them to come crashing back down to Earth when he never contacted me again. I wondered and wondered if maybe I read the signals wrong. Maybe I took his flirting as more than it was. Maybe the small gestures like his arm around my shoulders, on the small of my back, or the hand holding were only him being friendly. I wracked my brain going over every single detail of the night to try and pinpoint a reason for him not to have called me afterwards. I found nothing, which was equally as frustrating.

“Alright, I made a mistake.” He moves to sit on one of the hay bales. He rests his elbows on his knees and buries his head in his hands, letting out a huge sigh. “God I wanted everything with you.”

Once again, I’m frozen by his words. He what? But that doesn’t make sense. His words and his actions don’t line up- how could that be?

He removes his hands from his face, staring at the grass. “After that night, I wanted it all. I wanted to settle down, get the house with a white picket fence in the suburbs, carry you through the threshold after our wedding day, bring our children home from the hospital, watch them grow until we’re old and gray. I wanted everything.”

My heart aches. All of that was exactly what I wanted, especially with him. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes, my heart breaking mourning the loss of what we could have had by now if he had only said something.

I also find my anger growing as well. If he felt all of that, why did he not contact me again? Why did he give me hope that our night out together could have been the start of something good and then taken it away just as quickly?

“But?” There had to be a “but” coming after his statement. Clearly something stopped him from pursuing the possibility of “us,” destroying any future we could have had.

He sighs, “but…” he finally looks up at me with more emotion in his eyes than I was expecting. There was contemplation, confusion, honesty, agony…

I look away. In an instant I knew what he was about to say. It makes complete sense. He was at the height of his career, shooting movie after movie all around the world for a majority of the year. How would he have had time to have a relationship mixed in with that? He couldn’t.

“Your career was more important,” I interject, “I get it. I do.” I couldn’t fault him for choosing work over someone he just met, no matter how much he claims to have liked me right off the bat. He was going to be busy. We probably wouldn’t have had a lot of time to see each other. It’s not like I could give up my career to follow him. Besides even if I could have, he wouldn’t want that. He said so himself. He wanted someone who was independent; who could do their own thing and not be enveloped in his crazy life.

He stands up and steps closer to me, “no, that wasn’t it. I promise you that wasn’t it.”

There’s that word. Promise. He promised we’d see each other again soon after our night together. But he broke that.

“Then what was it?” My voice cracks at the end. I can feel my reserves slipping the more he speaks. I didn’t realize how much I missed his voice until now. I haven’t seen any of the movies he’s been in the last few years. I have him and his hashtag blocked on all social media platforms so I don’t see anything of his on any of my timelines. My other friends think I don’t like him (only my best friend and her now husband know about our date). To hear it again brings back all of the good memories we made together in that short night and all of the emotions I’ve been holding back since. “I have been wracking my brain for years wondering what went wrong after that.”

“I got scared,” he finally admits the truth. “I got scared of how much I liked you and how much I wanted to protect you.”

“From what?”

“From me,” he casts his gaze down at his hands as he fidgets with them, “and my life. I didn’t want to subject you to the chaos that is my life. I know what my fans would do to you if we were in a relationship, I was trying to protect you from all of the ugly that being with me comes with.”

So that’s what he was afraid of? He was afraid our relationship would inevitably end exactly like his last one? His “fans” were horrible to her. They sent death threats to her and her family members, always commenting negatively on her social media pages all because she was dating him. I remember reading about it right after it happened. I knew that side of his fandom was toxic. But did I care? No. Did I think I couldn’t handle it? I honestly don’t know, but would I have been willing to deal with it for him? Yes. I would have given up anything to be with him. That’s precisely why he did what he did. He didn’t want me giving anything up for him because he knows I’d be giving up any semblance of privacy I had if I were in a public relationship with him.

If I had known these were the reasons why he ghosted me, I would have been broken hearted but I would have understood. Hell, I probably would have fallen more in love with him if I knew that, not fallen in loathe.

He continues, “I thought that if I never contacted you again, you could move on”- he clears his throat-“and find someone better than me who could give you the normal life you deserve. Which as much as I wish I couldn’t, I see that you have…” he pauses as if deciding whether he should keep speaking. When I don’t stop him, he does, “But I can’t help feeling like that could have been me.”

My slightly shaky hands cover his fidgeting ones. His hand moves until he’s intertwining our fingers together, palms touching. They fit perfectly together as if they were each other’s missing puzzle piece. His thumbs stroke mine sending warmth down my arms all the way down to my toes. The sparks I felt back then return with full force. He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. My heart is beating out of my chest, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t feel it in some way.

I feel my heart break in my chest. My lip quivers and the tears threaten to make themselves known. My only saving grace is the fact that he can’t see my face. I may lose it completely if he did.

His breath is coming out equally as shaky between us, he squeezes my hands as if he doesn’t want me to let go. Believe me, I don’t want to. I bring one of our interlocked hands up to my lips. I kiss the back of his hand because I can’t kiss him where I want to. I pull back just enough to see his beautiful baby blues that could have any woman in the world swoon. They were terribly bloodshot right now but that only made them more tragically breathtaking. I tear one of my hands out of his and bring it to his cheek. He leans into it, a tear drops into the crevices between the contact.

The barely above whisper that came out was all I could muster without having a total breakdown because he’s right. It could have been him. We could have been something great. We could have built a life together. We could have had it all. And it broke my heart into a million pieces knowing all of this could have been avoided if life had handed both of us different lives.

“It almost was.”

~*~

Taglist: @the-marvel-wars​ @elusive-beauty​ @drakesfiance @im-a-slut-for-an-accent​ @fantasy-is-my-reality​ @princess-evans-addict​

[tommybaholland]

Hello! I was wondering if you could write a angst oneshot about the whole Izuku leaving UA incident and how his s/o would take it seeing that letter right after the war ark, and maybe their reaction if he came back?

If you've done this already please just ignore this! (ˊ˘ˋ*)

where are you, deku?

featuring: midoriya

recent manga chapter spoilers in this one! i have to admit that i haven’t been the biggest fan of the current arc thus far but this is one reason why i write. so i included some stuff that i feel were missed opportunities. also, if you read the manga, i’d love to hear any predictions you might have. enjoy! x

sitting in a hospital was never fun. it’s already bad if you’re there to be treated but sitting there, waiting for someone to wake up, not knowing that they will? you’d rather be admitted.

you didn’t know how he would recover from this. there’s no way his body could handle everything that he pushed through to stop the evil from winning. was there even a winner in this war? you’re not even sure how or why it started. there were so many things happening, so many twists and turns and surprises that everyone who survived physically wouldn’t have much luck mentally. 

no matter how you spin it, there was no silver lining. and you were not the only one plagued by the lasting effect. 

todoroki’s supposedly dead brother is alive and a mass murder, mirio has his powers again but doesn’t know that tamaki might be dead, midnight’s death was confirmed days ago and no one could just forget about it..

and it had been three days, but deku had not awoken from his unconscious state. 

you were adamant about being the first one he saw when he woke up. he’d say that you’re stubborn but that was one thing you had in common. it was odd for him to stay unconscious for this long when he had always been the epitome of persistence. 

the sound of all might entering the room jerked you awake from what was probably the tenth time you had dozed off. 

“y/n,” he addressed. “you have done a great job keeping midoriya company but i think it’s time for you to get some rest. todoroki and bakugo have awoken, why don’t you go check on them with your other classmates?”

you didn’t even look over to him, not wanting to see the pitiful expression on his face. 

“why isn’t he waking up, all might? he doesn’t even look like he’s in pain,” you observed, looking down at your unconscious partner. 

“that must be a good thing, though, right?” the former hero replied. 

“yes but,” you paused, unsure of how to say it. “it’s odd. he’s not in a coma-induced state, he just looks like he’s taking a nap.” 

all might knew that midoriya and bakugo had kept the secret of ofa between them. now might be a good time to tell everyone, or at least everyone who should know, what was going to happen to him. midoriya was not unconscious nor asleep but was in a similar state, one that allowed him to talk to the previous holders of one for all. 

until he finishes his conversation with them, an explanation would have to wait.

“you have observed well, y/n. i can assure you that he is not in any pain and will wake up eventually. he’ll want to tell you everything when he does. until then, please go tell the other students what you know for now.”

“what if he wakes up?” you questioned, continuing to face deku with your hands over one of his casted arms.

“i’ll have someone send for you but i’m sure you’ll be around when he finally wakes,” all might reassured. 

you nodded, too tired to protest at this point. you stood from your seat before leaning down to press a parting kiss to his freckled cheek. his skin was warm which prompted a tear you didn’t know was there to fall down your cheek. he was alive but you wanted him to be okay. 

you wiped the tear from your face and sniffled before turning around to finally face all might. he patted your shoulder as you walked by, quickly leaving the room. you decided that you would do as you were told and to go check on your other classmates. however, you didn’t get very far when you ran into bakugo who was storming down the hallway while resisting the restraint of sato and mineta.

“Y/N! WHERE IS HE?”

It almost made you smile to see that bakugo was still his belligerent self, despite being seriously injured. however, that doesn’t mean he should be walking around so soon. you stood in front of the door to deku’s room, prohibiting him from entering. once he finally reached you, he tried to push past you with his hands on your shoulders. 

“you better move out of the way or start talking before i kill both you AND HIM,” he threatened when you wouldn’t move. 

“he’s still unconscious,” you replied solemnly. “but all might’s certain that he will wake up.”

bakugo’s demeanor changed as he observed the melancholy expression on your face. he wasn’t an idiot but you were. it was the least he could do.

“well, i agree with him. of course he’s going to wake up, you idiot.”

you looked up at him, waiting for elaboration from his sudden confidence.

“tch. i thought you loved him or whatever. somehow your annoying ass decided to put up with his dumbass so you of all people would know that he wouldn’t just quit. and if he does, i’ll make sure he’s really dead.”

-

once almost everyone was discharged from the hospital, you were instructed to return to UA. you were told that you would receive updates and further instructions the next morning. however, sleep was far from what you would receive. despite the exhaustion, you were restless beyond belief which made you delirious and you couldn’t tell if the shuffling outside your room was real or not. 

you woke up early, just when the sun was beginning to rise. you decided to get up as there was no point in trying to fall back asleep. you didn’t get even a step outside your room after stepping on a folded piece of paper that had been shoved under the door, waiting for you. 

it was a letter from him. 

it turns out that seemingly everyone got a letter from him. all of them varied in contents but they all conveyed the same message:

he had left the hero course. 

they also explained his power and how it passed down from all might which is the reason why the league of villains and all for one were after him. yours, however, included a little extra message written at the end. 

i love you, y/n. please don’t come looking for me. 

he had probably blamed himself for all the strife he had caused with the war but you thought it was dumb for him to leave. how did he think he was going to do this on his own? there was obviously more to this story than he provided but given that he told everyone in the class, he had to keep it simple. 

it was all making sense to you, shedding some light as to why all might was so sure of deku’s recovery. however, you didn’t get to see him when he woke up like you were told. he played it safe in writing these letters because he knew that you and others in the class would only try to stop him if he left. everyone was asking you about what you knew and you couldn’t tell them squat. you tried calling and texting him but he wouldn’t answer.

it was an odd feeling. you didn’t know whether you should be mad or not. if you couldn’t see your boyfriend yourself, you had to talk to all might. however, mr. aizawa was the only thing standing, or rather now sitting, in your way. 

“by now, you all know that your classmate, midoriya, has left the hero course. this does not mean that the rest of you should follow in his footsteps.”

even though he didn’t tower over everyone anymore from his wheelchair, he was still equally as intimidating. 

“now, UA has agreed to use its campus as an evacuation shelter. your families have already begun the moving process. classes will resume as normal but no one will be allowed to leave the campus under any circumstances. we’ve put a pause on all work study-related activities outside of the school until we know that there are no more possible threats, at least, for now. any questions can be directed to me.”

“will all might be returning?” you asked.

“all might will be taking leave from teaching for now,” answered mr. aizawa. “as i said, you can direct your questions to me.”

“right, sir, but i have questions for him about dek-- i mean, midoriya.” 

“well, you’ll have to wait until he finds an opportunity to return then.” 

“when will that be?”

“whenever he finds an opportunity, y/n. any other questions?”

it seemed like you were at a loss until you remembered something from when you were in the hospital with deku. bakugo’s behavior when you told him what all might said changed rather abruptly and you don’t think it’s because all might is his favorite pro hero. although they grew up together, deku and bakugo were anything but close. however, bakugo’s affirmation that he would recover felt odd and like he knew something that made him sure of it. 

this led you to pursue him as your next lead. 

you found him later in the kitchen making something for himself, as he usually cooked for himself than eating the food sent over by the school. 

“what did you think about his letter?”

“what letter? i didn’t get anything from that damn nerd.”

that was surprising but that logic further pushed the idea that he knew something and therefore didn’t need a letter to explain it to him. 

“so you don’t know anything about this?” you asked as you pulled out the folded-up paper that was left at your door that morning. 

bakugo snatched the paper out of your hand and scanned over its contents quickly. his brows raised by the time he reached the end before he grimaced again. 

“that idiot,” he muttered under his breath. 

“so you didn’t know about it?”

“this is almost the same as what everyone else got,” he observed, ignoring your question. 

“okay. but did you know about it?” you asked again.

“of course i did, you dumbass! so are you gonna ask me a billion questions now that his cowardly ass isn’t here to explain it to you like he should’ve?”

“so there is more to it.”

“he gave you the gist of it. that’s really all you need to know.”

“but what do shigaraki and all for one have to do with this?”

“can’t you read? the letter literally explained that.” 

“like you said, it was really only the gist of it.”

“well, you were right in wanting to talk to all might but i guess you’ll have to wait.”

“no. if you know something, i need to hear about it. also, why do you get to know about all this?”

“because that moron originally told me about it back when we started school here. i didn’t take it seriously at the time until he started getting stronger. right after we moved to the dorms, he and all might told me everything,” he explained.

“i need you to tell me what happened then because he and all might aren’t here right now.”

“look, it’s really not my job to tell you! this really belongs between the two of them. dumb deku just promised that he would be strong enough to try to beat me.”

“at least tell me why he felt he had to leave when we could’ve helped him! i know he likes to act like a selfless idiot but i don’t know if he can do this by himself.”

bakugo sighed. “this is his fight and his fight alone. like icyhot said back at the sports festival, he has all might in his corner. that’s all the help he’s gonna need.”

you nodded in agreement.

“plus, that dumb power of his involves more than what you’ve seen of it,” he added cryptically.

“what does that mean?”

“did you even read the letter? it said that the power was passed down from all might to him, moron.”

 “again, that doesn’t really mean much to me,” you pressed.

“tch. yeah. you probably only paid attention to that gross end part. that stupid nerd,” he muttered. 

“what was that?”

“look, i’m done talking with you. either talk to all might or use your damn head.” 

that wasn’t a complete waste of time but it certainly was a lost cause. despite his arrogance, everything bakugo said was true. he’s not someone who goes around lying about things so you felt that you could trust him when he said that deku would be in good hands with all might. 

you left the kitchen somewhat satisfied but it still bothered you that you didn’t know everything completely. you wondered if there was anyone else who knew about it but the chances were slim, given that bakugo also stated that it was between deku and all might. 

while heading back up to your room, you ran into todoroki. you hadn’t talked to him much since the war. out of anyone, he was probably going through it more than anyone. 

“hey, todoroki. how are you holding up?” you asked, grinning softly. 

his voice was still recovering but it was a lot better than a few days ago. “hello, y/n. my family’s okay for the most part and my father is finally doing what he should.”

you didn’t want to pry but you knew what he meant. 

“did you get a letter?”

“from midoriya? yes. i’m not especially surprised since he and all might have been close since school began. however, i do find it odd that he suddenly has another power. did you notice it?”

you nodded. “it first happened during the training session with class B, right?”

“yes. were you ever curious about it?”

“he was probably more freaked out about it than anyone else so i didn’t focus too much on it,” you explained.

“i asked him about it and i agree, he did seem apprehensive about it.”

there was a beat of silence then which had you pondering over what bakugo had said.

“apparently there’s more to his power than we think and it has something to do with the passing from one user to another,” you reported.

“i’ve been thinking about that, as well,” todoroki replied. “it’s possible that midoriya’s power is evolving to beyond what all might could do with it. it would make sense, given quirk singularity.” 

his theory seemed reliable since he would know about something like singularity. 

“thank you for sharing that with me, todoroki. it think it’s quite possible that you’re right. i’m going to try to talk to all might if you want to confirm it,” you offered.

“thank you, y/n, but i believe the answer will be more clear later on. there’s something i have to focus on for myself right now. i hope you find out more soon.”

you thanked him, wished him well, and made the rest of the way to your room. now, you really couldn’t imagine what todoroki was going through. if anything, he had just as much weight on his shoulders as deku right now. 

then again, you still needed answers as to exactly what he was doing.

later that night, bakugo sat on his bed looking down at a piece of paper. it had four simple words on it. words that both excited and annoyed him immensely. 

i’m catching up, kacchan. 

-

months passed and you hadn’t heard from deku. well, you had but not in the way you wanted. you finally got in touch with all might, who showed up to UA in person. apparently, mr. aizawa had passed down the message that you were wanting to talk but you don’t know how long ago that had been. you appreciated his effort but at this point, it was your boyfriend who you needed to see now. you didn’t want to displace your anger onto him but he could see that distress that you are in. 

“i’m sorry that he couldn’t come himself,” all might apologized.

you sighed. “it’s alright. it seems like he has better things to do now.”

“he just needs to work on yielding one for all,” all might elaborated. 

“is that what it’s called? one for all?”

“he didn’t tell you about it? i thought he wrote everyone in the class a letter?” 

“he did but he didn’t go into too much detail which is why i wanted to talk to you,” you explained, your tone rather aloof. 

“right. of course,” all might replied before clearing his throat to fill in the missing pieces.

it turns out that todoroki’s theory was on the track in that one for all had reached the singularity point and the quirks from its predecessors were beginning to manifest. 

“the fact that he was completely quirkless before one for all makes the singularity point easier for him to transition to and use the other six quirks.”

that was news to you. “he was quirkless?”

“yes.”

it was all making sense now. everything that seemed off about him and his power was because he never had one in the first place. you also could now understand why bakugo was the most hostile with him when it came to training and deku’s improvement with his power. and this was why bakugo was dead set on deku coming out of this alive. 

however, you couldn’t help but feel naive. you felt like you should’ve listened to your intuition more when things weren’t adding up and he was landing himself back in the hospital with broken arms time after time. but you ended up falling in love with him and it wasn’t because of his power. in the same vein, you weren’t about to hate him for it either, like bakugo or even todoroki at the beginning of the school year. he had worked hard to where he is now and the truth was that he had always been that way, quirk or not. 

but how come he felt the need to hide it all, especially from you? bakugo had only recently been clued in about all of it so why not you as well?

“i made him not say anything to anyone, especially since i had started teaching at the school,” all might explained, continuing to be incredibly perceptive. “and bakugo was only roped in because he was catching on to it.”

“yeah. he told me that deku originally told him a while ago,” you recalled. “so what is he going to do about shigaraki and all for one?”

“we’re not entirely sure yet. right now he’s mostly acting as bait to try to lure out the league of villains while taking care of any stray villains from the prison breaks.” 

“so what you’re saying is you don’t have a plan?” you questioned.

“we’re considering all of our options, y/n.”

“who?”

“deku, myself, endeavor, and hawks. best jeanist has also been helping with recon,” he elaborated. 

of course, he’d have the top three heroes and all might on his side. not to mention all the vestiges talking to him in his head. what about the rest of the class though? surely he was going to need more than that. hero society is hanging by a thread that could snap at any moment if the villains strike again first. 

“why didn’t you let me see him after he woke up?” you asked, changing the subject. 

“we wanted him to stay at UA, as that’s where he’d be most protected. unfortunately, every decision has been his own,” he answered.

that was what you were afraid of. 

since that conversation, the city had been partially recovered, villains were being captured, and there weren’t any threats as of yet from the league. UA fully reinstated work study programs and students were allowed out under heavy supervision. 

todoroki kept coming back from his father’s agency with letters from deku to give to you. you read them, of course, but hadn’t replied to a single one. talking to all might was helpful, it really was, but you couldn’t help this nagging feeling inside you. his letters didn’t help much either. of course, you were happy to hear from him and it did give you that tingling feeling of love that you hadn’t felt in months. 

the letters mostly detailed what he was doing and provided updates on his progress since you had talked to all might. however, if he was freely moving about the city, you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just come talk to you. all might had said that all the decisions made were his own and he was doing it in the best interest of you, the school, and his family. the thought of deku saying that he didn’t want to see anyone else get hurt made you shake your head. he’s very persistent and strong-willed but he too often doesn’t accept the help nor listen to the warnings of others, yourself included. 

you missed him but you were also resentful towards him and you hated feeling that way. you wanted to be supportive rather than selfish but it was hard when he could be too self-sacrificing. it’s not that you didn’t have faith in him. you just wanted to prepare for the worst. 

-

“hey, idiot.” 

“what is it, bakugo?”

bakugo and todoroki approached you one day after they came back from their work study. 

“we’re trying to tell you something important so don’t cop an attitude right now,” he glared.

you gave him an unamused look, unfazed by the irony. “so did you need something?”

todoroki spoke up next. “yes. my father would like to recruit you for work study. you don’t currently have one, right?” 

“no. i don’t,” you replied honestly. “why does endeavor want me all of the sudden?” 

“because midoriya—“

“shut up, you half and half moron!” bakugo interrupted. “look, we need help and thought you would want to be included.”

“okay. but why me?” 

“you’re such a dumbass. just come with us!” 

and now you were here at the endeavor agency in your hero costume with an uneasy feeling. maybe it was because you were standing right in front of the number one himself.

“hello, y/n.” 

it was true that he didn’t have any other expression other than a scowl. lately, that scowl seemed worn down and honestly, you couldn’t blame him. 

“bakugo and shoto have told me about you. of course, i first heard about you from deku.” 

your ears perked up at his hero name. you hadn’t heard it in months. 

“since he has left the hero course, we needed another student apprentice at the agency. the reason why we didn’t contact you sooner was that we were overconfident in thinking that we didn’t need another and for that, i personally apologize.”

endeavor bowing to you was a sight you thought you’d see only in your dreams. 

“so what is this really about then?” 

“the league of villains is on the move and he needs some help.” 

you didn’t have time to even think of a response before the familiar mess of green hair came into view. that was really the only familiar thing about him against his dirty and tattered hero costume. not to mention all the upgrades that you had never seen before. 

“hey, y/n,” he greeted with a soft grin.

you felt like your heart had stopped for a solid three seconds. 

“deku…” you breathed out finally. you let the tears well up in your eyes. you didn’t want him to see you cry. you felt a rush of adrenaline pull you towards him and tackle him to the ground. 

from the view, it looked like you were happy to see him. you were anything but thrilled. 

“why— how— w- what are you doing here?” you questioned, leaning over him on the ground. you face felt hot with rage but you couldn’t stop it. the more you tried to suppress your emotions, the more intense they felt. 

“well, i wanted to see you!” he answered, trying to lighten the mood. 

“you wanted to SEE ME!? what about the previous eight months, huh? or when you woke up? you didn’t want to see me then either?”

“y/n, please i didn’t intend to abandon anyone. i only wanted to protect—“

“everyone, right?” you interrupted him. “what about the rest of us? we want to be heroes too! we’ve fought countless battles and went through a whole war with you! when are you going to get it through your dumb head that we want to help you?”

“heh. they sound like me now,” bakugo quietly commented as he and todoroki watched this whole scene. 

“i wouldn’t get excited about that,” replied todoroki.

“i’m sorry if i’m being selfish but this isn’t fair, deku,” you cried, your tears dripping onto his face. 

if he thought about it, deku had improved immensely in the last several months, most likely at a quicker rate than he had at UA. however, that was because there wasn’t as much restraint on the usage of his powers. he got to fight high-level villains without a lot of supervision. he was essentially a vigilante and the top three of the hero society were allowing him to do it. 

“i’m sorry for leaving, y/n,” he began, sitting up as you leaned up off of him to wipe your tears. 

“i wasn’t thinking about everyone’s feelings but i felt that it wasn’t anyone’s decision. you guys would have stopped me no matter what.”

you didn’t make eye contact with him until his next sentence. 

“but that doesn’t mean i should be treated as a special case. you’re right, i shouldn’t waste all the energy and effort everyone has put into to stop something that i’m mostly responsible for. even though i’ve been figuring things out on my own lately,  i have no idea how i’m going to stop all for one or save shigaraki.” 

you suddenly felt stupid as he looked down solemnly. you were stupid for overreacting. at the end of the day, this was his fight. no one else could do this but him. however, hearing that he needed help was what you needed to hear. 

your boyfriend needed help.

“hey,” you called softly, placing a hand over his cheek. he looked up as you with glossy green eyes. 

“you don’t have to do this all by yourself. you have so many friends and heroes wanting to help you. i know you don’t want to lose anyone but i think everyone involved knows the risks.”

you looked back to bakugo and todoroki for reassurance. todoroki nodded in agreement while bakugo simply, “tch. whatever.”

“you’ve got me, too. you’re never gonna lose me, deku. and i won’t let you lose either. i love you too much even if you can be really dumb sometimes.”

“i love you too, babe,” he reciprocated, his face getting closer to yours. “i did really miss you.”

“i know, baby.”

you completed the reconciliation with a sweet kiss, one that made bakugo roll his eyes.

“can you idiots stop wasting my time already?!”

“i agree,” endeavor spoke up. “we should start telling them what we know.”

“right! sorry, sir!” your boyfriend squeaked before scrambling to get you both off the floor. you stifled a laugh. he’s probably seen some stuff over the last few months but his cute, spastic self didn’t change much. 

“let’s get y/n acclimated to the agency first and then we’ll go over everything,” endeavor suggested. 

“oh my gosh, y/n! i can’t wait to show you how huge this place is! c’mon,” deku exclaimed, grabbing your hand and pulling you around the office.

he didn’t want to let go once but if you wanted to because your hands were sweaty, he’d simply reach for it again. his thumb ran over the back of yours when you were just standing next to each other, giving it an occasional squeeze. even when it was his turn to talk, he didn’t release.

“okay so here’s what i’ve done recently and the information i’ve gathered from those encounters..”

you didn’t know what the end result would be and he was none the wiser. he knows how he wants it to end and now he has people he can count on for that.

heyy bnha night! let’s hear about more of your favs..

[delimeful]

breathing cleaner air (2)

warnings: miscommunication, slight body horror, arguing

-

Roman woke up, which was a surprise in itself.

He was sprawled over a wooden floor, covered in what seemed to be a significant amount of unbound hay. His body ached severely, and he spent a moment waiting for his brain to register how horrifically itchy he must be under all this straw.

A beat later, he recalled that his sense of touch had grown muted and strange as soon as his skin vanished behind a layer of bone and keratin. Not itchy after all, then.

Whatever he was laying on, it was moving, slowly but steadily, and he couldn’t seem to make his body move more than an inch. He couldn’t even lift his head to see over the short back barrier of the space.

A twinge of pain, and then he was blinking rapidly as a new source of vision opened up, creating a dizzying overlay effect. He closed his eyes, and found that the new sightline was all that remained, showing him sprawling fields and a dirt road slowly inching past.

It was an eye, popping up on his shoulder armor as though that was a reasonable place for an eye to appear. He shuddered, revulsed, and it sunk away into nothing with a sharp spike of pain, leaving him with only the pair of eyes on his face.

Roman took a deep breath, trying to remain composed. His body had been malformed, and his best friend had attacked him, and now he was here, unharmed but for his immobility and the strange quirks of this new form. Surely Logan wouldn’t dispose of a corpse without first checking that it was actually deceased?

He had to be sprawled in the back of a covered wagon of some sort, the slow rhythmic motion of the vehicle thankfully not enough to jar any of his newly-obtained wings. If he’d been an actual seraph, he would have plenty of motivation to murder the farmer hired to move its ‘corpse’. Logan would never be so sloppy as to risk civilians like that.

So then, how had he gotten to this point?

He chewed on the question as time passed, mentally going around in circles until the wagon ground to a stop.

Footsteps circled the body of the vehicle, and stopped. Roman resisted the urge to try and make another eye to look through.

A surge of magic later, his body felt suddenly lighter, and he jolted upright into a sitting position, head turning to the back of the wagon.

Logan stood there, his staff held in a defensive block position. “Hello there.”

Roman made to indignantly ask what he was playing at, but all that came from him was a fierce shrieking whistle, not from his mouth but from his throat, where there were irregular gaps in the armor covering.

“Yes, I’m sure you’re confused,” Logan continued, still on guard. “I’m pleased to inform you that though I don’t yet have a solution to your ailment, I have no plans to kill you.”

A wave of relief washed over Roman, and he preened slightly, so immensely grateful that his best friend was a genius. How he’d figured it out, Roman had no idea, but clearly, he’d known from the moment Roman had stumbled past the treeline.

He leaned forward, intending on some kind of friendly contact, and Logan took a step back, his staff smoothly moving to point out in threat.

“No closer, please,” he instructed firmly. “I can’t understand you or your intentions at the moment. You’ll have to wait until we reach the others so they can translate.”

Roman drooped, wings drawing in around him as though he’d received a physical blow. The guarded look in those eyes, the stiff lines of his body-- Logan hadn’t looked so wary around Roman since he’d still thought him a snobby prince with a hatred of all things magical.

“It’s nothing personal, I assure you,” Logan offered, awkward the way he only way around strangers.

Roman sat back heavily, the shifted weight of his new form making the wagon shake slightly. Logan had secreted him away without knowing his true identity. He was taking a ‘defeated’ seraph somewhere in secret. He’d mentioned others. Other seraphim.

Logan had been on the field much longer than him, but they’d fought side-by-side together whenever Roman could shake his duties. How many monsters had Logan been preserving right under his nose?

Logan scythed his weapon through the air without hesitation, easily settling another heavy sedation spell on him. Belatedly, he realized that a low, threatening growl-- a sound like the deepest timbre on a pipe organ-- had bubbled up from his chest.

Good, he thought furiously as he settled back into a hazy unconsciousness. Why shouldn’t he be angry? In every sense of the word, he’d been betrayed.

-

When he next woke, the wagon had once again stopped and his body ached a little less. Soon, there were warm hands carefully supporting him from either side, lifting him from the pile of hay and settling him on soft fabric.

Voices spoke in soft murmurs. Roman struggled to tune in, focus wavering under the lingering exhaustion of the spell.

“--round, could I speak with him?”

“No, not today. He’s been awake for a while, you know how he gets about missions like this. I could pass along your message?”

“... It was a long shot anyways. I’ll be back in a week’s time, hopefully with better news.”

“You’ll find him, Logan, I just know it. But you have to take care of yourself, too. Won’t you stay, just for---”

A blink, and the light had changed, from the dimness of dusk to early morning sun.

Finally free of magical interference, he pushed himself to his feet with only the slightest of swaying, intent on figuring out what was going on and giving Logan a piece of his mind. Possibly in that order.

He was in a spacious but mostly-empty room, a soft arrangement of thick blankets and half-shredded pillows strewn about where he’d formerly slept. The single door was unlocked and opened into a hallway that was too short for him to walk through without crouching.

Feeling slightly foolish and mostly determined, he shuffled along the hall, searching for answers but finding none that made any sense. He didn’t recognize anything about the interior of the building, other than how it looked, for all intents and purposes, like a cozy, lived-in home.

There were framed photos lining the walls, candid pictures of many or just a few people smiling and talking together. Before Roman could inspect them too closely, a clatter from nearby caught his attention.

He turned into a small kitchen, where a short man with brown skin and dark curls appeared to be cleaning up a spill as something on the stove began to smolder. He didn’t seem to have any wings.

Befuddled by the mundane sight, a confused, croaky chirrup made its way from his throat, drawing the attention of the stranger. He braced himself automatically, his wings bristling slightly on automatic, but the stranger only smiled sympathetically.

“Hey there, kiddo!” Placing the washcloth he’d been mopping with aside, he dusted his hands off on his battered apron. “Good to see you awake! Did Logan-- that’s the guy who brought you here, did he tell you anything on the way?”

Roman stared at him blankly. The stranger-who-apparently-knew-Logan shook his head in amused resignation. “Well then, I suppose introductions are in order! You can call me Patton, this is my home! You’re welcome to stay for as long as you want, and you can come talk to me if you need help with anything!”

"You’re taking in monsters like stray cats?" Roman attempted and completely failed to ask, the words coming out as hollow but incredulous discordant notes.

“Yeah, I suppose I can’t really talk to you just yet,” Patton replied, proving his own point by misinterpreting Roman’s noises entirely. “But no worries, we’ve got other seraphs who can translate! My friend is waiting out in the barn to answer any questions you’ve got, and then once I finish up breakfast, you’re welcome to join us!”

Even without the charcoal mess that had used to resemble eggs currently smoking on the stove, there was no way he was just going to sit down and eat breakfast with monsters and monster sympathizers. He huffed, an airy whistling sound, and ignored Patton’s friendly smile as the man gestured helpfully to the open back door.

He would find Patton’s ‘friend’, question them to find out where this place was relative to his kingdom, and then leave promptly. From there, he’d… he’d figure something out. Hunt down the one who did this to him, maybe, and get some answers.

Decided, he stalked out the door, and managed to get three steps into the yard before pulling up short.

The acres of farmland stretched out to freshly-plowed fields, and more than a few chickens wandered about, but most notably, the main yard seemed to be dotted with winged children.

A variety of different shapes and ages, he could spot them in little groups, playing games or chattering or even roughhousing like weaned puppies. He spotted a pair wrestling, and nearly stepped forward in alarm at the sight of sudden shifting limbs and feathers.

To his surprise, even with one in a more inhuman state, they continued to playfully tumble without a single scratch, no sign of the sharpness that lined Roman’s entire form.

He could feel curious eyes on him as he beelined for the barn, trying to keep a level head. He shouldn’t have been so shocked by the sight. If there were seraphim adults, of course there would be seraphim children. He just hadn’t expected them to look so… human. He’d had no idea that they could even develop human guises so early in life.

The barn was a humble thing, the red paint worn, but the door hinges barely whispered when he pushed the door open. Inside, there weren’t any animals, but rather, tightly-packed cots and scattered piles of stored supplies. A few kids scurried past, while a deeper voice slowly counted down. An adult figure was sprawled over one of the ceiling rafters, face pressed into the crook of their arm, a pair of wings hanging down loosely around them. The early morning light cast them in silhouette.

Roman attempted to clear his throat, which didn’t work even a little bit and in fact produced a horrific squelching sound. The adult’s wings jerked slightly, but they didn’t look up.

“Seventeen. Sixteen. Hey, newcomer. Welcome to Sanctuary. Patton gave you the spiel? Twelve. Eleven. Ten.”

With an array of hushed giggles, the kids secreted themselves away, some abandoning the barn entirely. They were… playing hide-and-seek?

He shook his head, dismissing the thought. More importantly, why did this stranger’s voice seem familiar? Roman stepped forward, drawing his wings in to avoid clipping any nearby hiding spots.

“Two. One. Better have hid well,” they finished, pushing themself up and then swinging over the edge of the rafter. They dropped to the floor soundlessly, looking him over with mismatched eyes. “I’m Virgil.”

Roman felt his whole body bristle up with shock, and then fury.

‘You!’ he screeched, pointing aggressively at the guy who had single-handedly ruined his life.

‘Virgil’ eyed him speculatively for a moment, and then recognition lit his gaze.

“Oh. It’s you. Thought you died.”

In the corner of his vision, Roman could see the way his wings had fluffed up to twice their previous size, sharp-edged and rattling. A low, resonant hum filled the air around him, a poor placeholder for the accusations he’d like to hurl at the seraph.

Virgil only raised an eyebrow, looking much less harried than he had during their last encounter. Roman sorely missed having a sword to point threateningly, and also fingers that weren’t half-fused together.

“Might as well sort this out now.” He raised his voice, an edge of something other slipping into it as he projected. “Olly olly oxen free, you little menaces. It’s time for the adults to talk.”

There was rustling as those hiding in the barn crawled and hopped out of hiding spaces, a murmur of complaint that died as soon as they looked at Roman. He wanted to call the gazes invasive, the silence eerie, but it was hard to be truly suspicious of children who looked so hunted.

“Scram, fledgelings,” Virgil instructed dryly, shaking his core wings out.

As though breaking a spell, the kids scattered, some slipping past him to the front doors, others vanishing out of sight in hidden corners. Backdoors, secret exits. It seemed these people were well-prepared for an invasion.

An older kid lingered, dark hair and light grey wings ruffled up as they glanced between the two of them. The kid didn’t say anything, but the concern on their face was plain to see.

“Relax, Ellie,” Virgil said, bumping their wings together gently. “I can handle myself. Go make sure Patton isn’t burning the kitchen down?”

The kid-- Ellie?-- nodded slowly, casting one last unreadable look at Roman before departing and leaving them be.

Virgil stretched, arms over his head, and then between one motion and the next, his body spilled, stretching out into feathers and bone like it was nothing.

His outer wings were narrower, longer, and they stabbed into the ground where Roman’s curled around himself. He had no mask of bone covering his words, but the lower half of his face seemed to be solely composed of jagged, interlocking teeth, and pedipalps like those of a spider rested on the underside of his jaw. Roman couldn’t seem to count just how many eyes he had without his head beginning to ache.

“So,” a mental voice spoke, overlaying his own thoughts. “You survived after all.”

The resulting startled chirp that burst from Roman was nothing short of humiliating, but honestly, how often did one suddenly have to interact with telepathy! After a moment of scrambling, he gamely shot back a vitriolic assortment of unkind names.

“All I’m getting is static, buddy. Ease up on the mental clutter.” The seraph tilted his head, the small pair of wings atop his head fluttering mockingly. “Try not being so bad at this.”

Roman scowled with what little facial muscles he could still move, and took a rattling breath before ‘speaking’ again, forming the thought as clearly as possible. “Change me back.”

“Can’t.”

“What?!” Roman projected, trilling in alarm for emphasis.

Virgil yawned widely, displaying a throat that was, perhaps unsurprisingly, also full of teeth. “You heard me. Can’t do it.”

“You can turn people into monsters, but not change them back?”

“Oh, you had ‘monstrous’ down fine already.” Virgil was staring at him with several of those uncanny eyes, a challenge in his gaze. “This is an improvement, really.”

Roman stepped forward and loomed over the seraph, burning with anger. His wings began to flare fully open, feeling sharper than ever. “If you won’t tell me how to fix this, I’ll figure out a way to convince someone here to.”

All of Virgil’s eyes abruptly narrowed.

“Oh yeah?” Virgil’s wings dug deeper into the dirt floor as he lifted himself right off the ground to be just slightly taller than Roman, their faces only inches apart. “And just who do you think is around for you to extract info from? You gonna interrogate a bunch of 10 year olds? Pick a fight with a toddler, maybe?”

“No! I mean-- Well,” Roman faltered, thinking about the number of children he’d seen just in the past half-hour. “You can’t be the only one-- how are there only kids here?”

Virgil’s head tilted slightly, as though Roman’s answer wasn’t quite what he’d expected. “Patton’s here too.”

“But he’s just a guy!” Roman gestured widely for emphasis. “Even if these kids didn’t have the ability to shapeshift into prickly pint-sized poltergeists, there’s way too many of them for one person to look after properly!”

“Two people,” Virgil corrected, leaning back. “And these kids are more self-sufficient than you think.”

He stared at Roman for a moment longer before smirking in a way that made Roman immediately and irrevocably suspicious. “Listen, Knight, since you’re so eager to get in a brawl, I’ll make you a deal. If you can beat me in a fight, I’ll tell you all about what I did to you.”

“Deal,” Roman agreed, as quickly as possible. He shifted into his starting hand-to-hand stance, though his changed form made it feel sort of unbalanced. “Let’s go, you and me.”

Virgil stepped forward, sliding back into his false human form as he strode right towards Roman. Roman hesitated, his arms still up in a guard position, and between one moment and the next, Virgil had slipped right past him. He made an indignant sound that came out grating, like metal-on-metal.

Virgil turned to glance at him as he reached the barn door. His lips twitched as though barely concealing laughter. “What, you thought I meant right now? No, we’ll fight on my time. And right now, it’s time for dinner. I can tell you all about the rest of the terms that you didn’t wait to hear before agreeing to our deal.”

Roman stared in disbelief as the seraph turned and strolled out, leading the way back to the main house.

Just what exactly had he gotten himself into?

[dianapana]

SH Day 3- Addicted to your touch

Day 3 – Addicted to your touch Separation Anxiety

WARNING: MENTAL ILLNESS

Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, the advice I gave in this piece might be very faulty, please take it with a grain of salt.

Modern AU, OOC

@sasuhinamonth

It all started small, when one day Sasuke announced that he’d be gone for 2 weeks due to work, the news alone made Hinata’s heartache but she smiled and wished him good luck on the project and a safe trip. Each day the feeling of missing him would grow and grow and grow until it was too big for her body to contain, and the feeling turned to pain. Her longing made her physically sick by the end of the second week.

The next stage was composed of excessive calls and texts, Hinata constantly needed to know where he was, what he was doing, whenever he’d take too long to reply the longing would come back and she’d either sink into sadness or lose herself to anger, both feelings she had not experienced much since dating Sasuke. Whenever he’d reply after a longer break, she’d ask him to come over to her house and stay the night.

That was the case on August 3rd. Sasuke came straight to her house after a long day at the office and Hinata ran to hug him, all of the negative feelings almost forgotten the moment she laid her eyes on him. His touch alone made all of her worries disappear. That was the feeling of home, in his arms.

They spent the night normally, eating dinner while watching a movie, changing and going to bed because they both had work in the morning. The issue came with the sunrise, for Hinata refused to let him leave. She cried and begged and screamed the moment he brought up work, she tore his shirt apart reasoning that he couldn’t go to work without one. The moment the white fabric hit the ground; silence fell over the room. Both of them were shocked, unable to speak due to her outburst of emotions.

Her cried aggravated, she fell to her knees and crawled to where he was, hugging his waist, apologizing over and over again. Sasuke was in deep thought, remembering all the small signs over the past month and a half. It hurt him to think that he had hurt her in any way to drive her to this moment, he patted her hair lovingly, took a deep breath and said in a broken voice “I think there’s something wrong Hina”

She looked at him with big round eyes, they were glossy and red, she blinked and looked down at the floor. “There might be…” Sasuke picked her up by her armpits and placed her in his lap, continuing to run his hand through her hair. He continued doing so until she calmed down and fell asleep, her emotions must have exhausted her. He didn’t move her from his lap for fear of waking her up, however, he picked up his phone from the nightstand and send Itachi a message telling him that he will not be going to work, he proceeded to text Kurenai as well informing her of Hinata’s absence at work too.

He spent the following few hours reading about similar situations, which mostly led to the same piece of advice, that a specialist was needed. So, he went on to search for therapists in Konoha, texting them all, asking whether any of them were free that day, two of them didn’t reply, another one was full for the week and could only see them next Wednesday, thankfully the last one agreed to meet with them after closing hours at 8:30.

Having all of that plan, all he needed to do was find a way to approach the topic when talking to Hinata, she had to agree that paying a visit to therapy would do them both good. Hinata had been asleep for about two hours now, so Sasuke took the liberty to move her onto her side of the bed and go to the kitchen to make some food for when she’d get up.

He managed to make scrambled eggs and toast and was about to go and wake her up when a cry of distress came from their room. He hurried to her side, Hinata was holding onto his pillow on the verge of tears.

“You weren’t here when I woke up” Her voice was meek and trembling. “I could hear movement in the kitchen, I knew you were there. So why, why does your absence hurt this much, despite me knowing you are here?”

He wished he had the answer, but he didn’t. He moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed, cupping her face with one hand, slowly brushing the skin under her eye with his thumb. Sasuke leaned in slowly to hiss her nose, cheek, forehead and finally the corner of her mouth. “I think to find out why, we might need some help from the outside” he closed his eyes and sighed, his breath fanning over her lips. “I talked to a man named Iruka, he’s a therapist and agreed to meet with us later today, would you be open to this idea?”

-------------

Hinata looked at him, searching his eyes and expression for any malice or negative feelings, but there was none, his openness and desire to help led her to agree to his plan, maybe they did need help.

“From what you’ve told me, this is a severe case of separation anxiety,” Iruka said, he looked kind and bore no ill feelings, Hinata had been afraid of the judgmental look he’d give her after hearing about her actions, but his eyes remained warm and understanding. “This usually manifests itself in small children, they are afraid to part from their caregivers even for a moment. In certain cases, it is believed it could appear in pregnant women as well, and usually the caregiver is their partner. Is there any possibility of this being true?”

Both Sasuke and Hinata’s eyes opened wider at the word pregnant, there was most certainly a possibility of that. They were always careful while having sex, however, Hinata was not on birth control, for they affected her badly whenever she took them as a teen so their method of contraception were condoms alone. There’s always the possibility of one breaking, a faulty one, or just them being part of the 0.01% of the population for which condoms did not work perfectly.

-------------

“I suggest you take a pregnancy test as well. As I mentioned, this is known to happen now and again so do not worry too much; however, this anxiety can affect you negatively” Iruka continued while looking at Hinata “the best way to deal with this is steady growth. In the early stages constant contact is preferred. Think of this as building up trust once again. Constant reassurance is important, always keeping promises, separation needs to happen slowly over time; from constant touch to simply being in the same room but at a safe distance, then being in separate rooms, then Hinata being alone but in a familiar and comfortable space for short periods of time. Of course, this process takes months. For some women the anxiety dies down with the birth, for others in continues after but through steady built of trust it can disappear”

They followed Iruka’s advice and went to Hinata’s gyno the next day and Iruka’s assumption proved to be true, Hinata was indeed pregnant in week 7. They were currently in the first stage of their trust-building, being in the same room, always touching. Hinata sat in his lap while they watched a movie, they held hands whenever they were outside, they’d keep bumping feet under the table as they ate. Sasuke had basically moved into her apartment, neither of them went to work. Sasuke was able to do most of his job remotely, however, Hinata applied for medical time off. Everything was going great, Hinata no longer experienced that painful longing, however, her pregnancy turned out to be a quite difficult one, as soon as they found out she was indeed pregnant, her morning sickness started, she had constant back pain and her appetite was very volatile. They’d often wake up in the middle of the night and drive around the city to find one of her cravings. During a particularly bad night 2 months after, her craving for watermelon in the winter proved difficult, to add to the issue her back pain was excruciating so she could not stay in the car for however long it would take them to find watermelon.

“Do you think…you would be all right if you stayed here and I went to find it for you…?” they had barely moved on from the ‘always touching’ stage, the process was slow but it was there.

“I…don’t know…”

“What do you want me to do Hina? You can’t even sit up properly, being in the car for maybe an hour would we awful, but being here alone would too…but it’s unwise to not follow your cravings either” He was spiralling, the situation was stressful and all he wanted was to be able to help her, he wanted to take her pain away, he wanted to give her everything she’d ever want and more.

“I think, I will be fine” Hinata finally said after thinking for a bit longer. Almost in slow motion, he nodded, ‘ok, ok, ok’ he murmured to himself as he put his winter coat over his pyjamas and stood on the bed to put his boots on. “I’ll go find you watermelon, ok? I will be back as soon as I can. I love you” he kissed her cheek and then the top of her head. She smiled and waved, but the moment his back turned to her, her smile wavered. Would she really be ok…?

Sasuke ran down the stairs to the car, he wanted to be away for as little as possible. He pulled out of the driveway and sped up as much as possible. Firstly, he’d look at the local non-stop supermarket, at the ‘exotic’ or ‘out of season’ shelf, if it wasn’t there he’d go to the local Korean market and buy some watermelon flavoured things, just in case there was nothing else anywhere; before he could think of where he’d go next his phone rang. Seeing Hinata’s name he answered immediately.

“come back…please” she was trying not to cry, he could hear it. He did an illegal U-turn and sped even more towards their apartment “I’m coming, I’ll be there in 5 minutes” Hinata replied with an ‘ok’ however she didn’t hang up, she needed to at least be on the line with him. Sasuke didn’t hang up either, not when we pulled into the driveway, not when he stopped the car, nor when he ran up the stairs. He only hung up when Hinata was in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, I thought I could, but you left and I…” she was sobbing so hard it was even difficult to understand her. “It’s ok, it’s not your fault, we moved too fast. Iruka said it’s slow. It’s no problem Hina, we can just start over” If her constantly touching him was what made her feel safe, he’d hold her close until she was ready. No more rushing of things. Once Hinata calmed down, Sasuke called Itachi.

“I’m sorry to wake you up but I need some help…could you look for some watermelon?”

[davidpastrsnack]

hi! idk if u take requests but pld calling you after the 5 ot game and he’s just so drained, frustrated and exhausted and all he wants is for u to be there but you can’t so you just talk over facetime until he falls asleep

i absolutely love this and it’s straight where my mind went after yesterday

To say you were in shock was an understatement. Your nerves were already so high even before puck drop, but here you were now, seven periods later still on the edge of your seat. The hockey fan inside of you was loving it, but your heart dropped every time the camera panned to Pierre, his face riddled with frustration and exhaustion. 

The series against Toronto was such an emotional roller coaster and the guys barely had time to process their series victory before they were thrown into another. And of course it was the Lightning, so the pressure was on for them to continue to prove themselves. Your thoughts were interrupted with the sound of the buzzer as both teams headed back into the locker rooms yet again. 

You doubted Pierre was checking his phone during these many intermissions but you couldn’t help sending him a message. If anything it was to make you feel better. 

hi baby. i’m so proud of you. keep it going, i know you can! 

It felt cheesy, but you didn’t know what to say so you pressed send anyway. You settled back into the couch, pulling the hood of one of the many sweatshirts he left behind for you over your head. The warm fabric gave you so much comfort, still smelling like a mix of his detergent and cologne. 

Before you knew it they were back on the ice for the eighth time. All things considered they looked pretty good, the adrenaline keeping their legs going, but there was no hiding the emotion on Pierre’s face. He wanted to win so badly, and you knew he would happily play all night if that’s what it took. 

And that’s when it happened. You looked down at your phone for a second to reply to your friend when you heard the announcers yelling. Your heart sank as you saw the Lightning clear the bench and huddle on the ice, celebrating an oh so sweet win. The Blue Jackets didn’t linger, heading right down the tunnel before you could even catch a glimpse of Pierre. 

You texted him again, doing whatever you could to make him feel better.. 

i’m still so so so proud of you luc. i love you. 

You knew exactly what he needed. Pierre was the definition of a gentle giant, always wanting to be as close to you as possible. After a rough loss, the night never failed to end with his big body laying on top of yours, your hands running through his curls as he drifted asleep.  

But you couldn’t give that to him right now.

You switched the channel to the show you were watching before, nearly six hours ago by now. You knew it would take him a while to call you, so you started getting ready for bed as you waited. 

Just as you were about to get up from the couch you heard your phone ping. 

Luc: thank you babygirl. media will probably be a while but i’ll be there soon. 

You smiled down at the screen, your face still turning pink at the pet name even after so long together. It was his go to since the day you met and never failed to make your heart flutter. 

It was nearly an hour later and you were finally tucked into bed, the mental fatigue of watching the game hitting you. Your eyes were slipping shut and your head was getting heavy against the pillow, but you were startled awake by the buzzing of your phone. You quickly sat up, answering his facetime call right away. 

“There’s my girl,” he smiled. 

“Hi Luc,” you murmured back. “How are you?”

He chuckled at your words, clearly having been better. He was back in his hotel room alone, laying in bed like you were. He had no shirt on and his many tattoos were peeking out from beneath the white comforter. 

“I’m alright, you know, just another game over here,” he deflected. 

“Luc,” you whispered. “Are you okay?”

He gave you a soft smile, sighing before he spoke, “I’m okay. It just fucking blows that we lost after that,” he mumbled. 

“I know baby. You guys looked great though, next game is all yours.”

He gave you a soft smile, but no words. There was no denying that your usually cheery boyfriend was defeated, and your heart broke as you watched him in front of you. 

“Your legs feel alright?” you asked. 

“Yeah, I honestly feel pretty good. I’ll let you know in the morning though,” he laughed, a small victory for you, but his tone quickly took another turn. 

“I really wish you were here,” he mumbled. “I need you.”

“Luc,” you whispered, not trusting your voice as you felt your eyes sting with tears. 

“Fuck, no baby, it’s okay,” he cooed, not wanting to make you cry. He didn’t know if he could hold it together if you lost it. 

You took a deep breath, gathering yourself before speaking. 

“It’s absolutely killing me not being there with you,” you muttered. 

Pierre sighed, “We’re gonna make it, okay? I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.”

You nodded, putting on your best smile as you held eye contact through the screen. 

“Stay on? Sleeping without you is the hardest part,” he trailed off. 

“Of course,” you reassured. 

It didn’t take long for Pierre to succumb to the physical and mental exhaustion of the night. The sound of his soft snores filled your room, quickly sending you off as well. Despite not being together, Pierre knew he was never really alone as long as you were a phone call away.  

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 18

Chapter 18: I Want You

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Any time I need to see your face I just close my eyes and I am taken to a place Where your crystal mind and magenta feelings taken shelter In the base of my spine, sweet like a chica cherry cola

I don't need to try and explain, I just hold on tight And if it happens again, I might move so slightly To the arms and the lips and the face and the human cannonball I need to, I want to

Come stand a little bit closer Breathe in and get a bit higher

Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you But, ooh, I'd die to find out Ooh, I want you I don't know if I need you But, ooh, I'd die to find out

But a look, then a smell of perfume It's like I'm down on the floor And I don't know what I'm in for

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NIALL

                                                      My phone had been ringing and beeping constantly in the past hour. Every time I checked, though, it was a new call or message from Mandy and I was desperately trying to avoid talking to her. I knew I wouldn't be able to run away from her for too long but I was determined to at least try. I marked all her text messages as 'read' and got out of my car again, getting inside Lewis' apartment building for the second time on that day.

I felt nervous and I was not sure why, but I kept twisted the insides of my jeans pockets as the elevator moved up. My heart skipped a beat when I glanced at the spot where Devon and I kissed but I swallowed my feelings and quickly walked out of the elevator. It didn't take long for Lewis to open the door and when I walked in, I noticed he had cleaned up everything. I was impressed, especially when I remembered the mess we had made, but I didn't mention it.

"You know you don't have to come visit many times a day, mate." Lewis pointed out before his lips curled. "No need for me to get used to your ass in this apartment, your girlfriend messaged me and said it was too expensive for her."

I wanted to point out that she was not my girlfriend and never would be but the words got stuck in my throat and I decided it was better to ignore it and not fuel the fire. I took my hands off my pockets and passed one in my hair with a sigh.

"Look, Devon really needs a place to stay."

"I thought you'd be happy to keep her with you in your room." Lewis wondered with a frown.

I took a seat on the other couch, close to him and shook my head. "She wants out, okay." I explained, shaking my head slightly before sighing again and leaning my back on the couch. "I mean, she really wants to leave."

Lewis stared at me, frowning slightly more, and finally moved his upper body closer. "That's how much you love her?" he asked in a soft tone, making me shrug. "Enough to let her go?"

"Don't say stupid things."

"No, you say stupid things, Horan." he added a bit louder. "Instead to love her enough to let her go, why don't you love her enough to be honest with her? I've seen the way she's been looking at you. She's literally waiting for you to make a move."

"I've hurt her enough already okay?" I replied a bit rudely. "She wants out and if that's what she wants then that's what she'll get."

This time, Lewis didn't answer but he rolled his eyes at me, letting his back fall on the couch. "You're a fookin' idiot."

"Thanks, I know."

"You let one girl fuck you up, and then you fuck the others. Nice move." he replied again with sarcasm.

"Fine, sue me!" I let out, now getting angry. "I'm just here to ask you to send her a message again, and tell her you'll charge her half of the rent you proposed first."

Lewis raised his eyebrows at me, blinking a few times. I knew he was getting annoyed but I didn't care. "Why would I do that?"

"I'll pay you the other half." I explained, closing my eyes. "But you can't tell her! Ever."

My friend stared at me and I knew he wanted to add something about the girl that broke my heart and fucked me up to the point where I rejected any form of romantic love, but he didn't and I felt grateful for that. It's not like I was not aware that it was not a normal thing. I knew people fell in love, fucked up other people, hurt them, got their heart broken... and started all over again. Most people had this urge and this need to love and be loved, knowing they could get hurt but hoping they won't. I didn't have that need, because I felt like the happy times were not worth the pain. I couldn't lie and say Devon didn't make all my principles falter, but I was trying hard not to do to anything about it, despite how bad I was craving it... how bad I was craving her.

"Propose her a ride to school every morning." Lewis finally said, taking me out of my thoughts. I blinked a few times and frowned before shaking my head. "Seriously, do it." he continued. "If you do that, I'm good with you paying half the rent and not telling her."

I stared at him for a few seconds before looking down. I liked the idea but I was not sure she'd agree to it. I also was pretty convinced it was a bad idea. How could I stop feeling all these things for her if I spent time with her every single day? Anyway, the reason she wanted to move out of our room was because she didn't want to be around me anymore, and picking her up for school every week days sounded counterproductive.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" I finally asked, looking up at him as he got up but totally resigned to do what he asked me to do.

"Because even if you pretend the opposite, it really matters to you." Lewis confessed, making something stir in my stomach. "So, we have a deal?"

I got up too, glancing at the hand he was holding out before looking up in his eyes. I would never tell him, but if Devon agreed to let me give her a ride to school every morning, it would make my heart lighter. As much as I hated to admit it, I took so many decisions with my heart recently that there was no doubt I'd end up in deep shit very soon. Did the fact that Devon was about to move out make me change my mind? Would it turn me into the pathetic human being I was whenever she was near? The same one I used to be around my ex girlfriend right before and even after she broke my heart?

"Deal." I just let out firmly, grabbing his hand and shaking it hard once before letting it go.

"I want my money every saturday and you're the one driving here to give it to me, making it your problem."

"Ever heard of bank transfers?" I asked with a scoff.

"I want it cash."

I knew he just wanted me to come over and I understood why but I was too mentally exhausted to argue and maybe it would also give me the chance to see Devon. I should run away from here and break all the deals I had made with Lewis but I couldn't. I was tired to fight, I was tired to repress everything I was feeling in hope it would disappear.

"Okay, but you don't ask for the money in front of Devon."

"Who do you think I am? An idiot?"

I chuckled but rolled my eyes before nodding, grateful for what he was doing. It was tough to push away someone who made me feel so many things. It felt like every fiber of my body, everyone around me, and even fate and destiny made it impossible for me to stay far from Devon. I knew deep down that I couldn't stay physically away from her forever. It felt like my own body was going to rot or die if she'd stay far, and I knew it was a stupid example but those were the only words I could come up with. Perhaps it was not really that. Perhaps it was just that my heart would stop beating, but either way, I was not ready to let go. Not completely.

I wanted to thank Lewis for everything but just as I was about to, someone knocked at the door, making me jump slightly. I moved away to let Lewis pass but when I heard the voice on the other side, I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"Lewis, are you there?" Mandy's voice let out in a soft tone. "I forgot something last night!"

I placed my hand on Lewis' chest as he walked past me and looked up in his eyes, shaking my head. "I'm not here." I mouthed, making him frown and throw his hands up.

"You're gonna have to face her at some point, right now is perfect." he replied in a whisper, walking up to the door and opening it before I could think of something else to do or a good place to hide.

As soon as her eyes met mine, I pushed my hands in my pockets and her face lighted up.

"Niall, hey, tried to reach you all day!"

"Yea, sorry my.. phone was on silent." I lied, sending her a small smile. "I was about to call you back as soon as I left."

"I just feel very lonely today." she pointed out, sending me puppy eyes as she took a step closer, putting her hand on my chest. "Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?"

My eyes roamed on her face for a few seconds as she gripped my shirt. I knew looking at her should make me feel something, but nothing happened. It was not because I was used to her, or because I had had too much sex encounters with her, no. It was simply because I felt nothing for her and probably never felt anything except lust. The fact that i didn't feel any desire for her anymore was a shock and my lips parted as I blinked a few times.

"I'm busy... tonight." I cleared my throat and took a step back, turning to Lewis to hug him lightly and tell him goodbye. I could feel Mandy's eyes on my back and it suddenly made me feel uncomfortable. When I turned back to her, she raised her eyebrows and I smiled. "Do you need a ride?"

"Yea, thank you! Let me just grab my bra really quick."

I frowned, turning to Lewis who just shrugged as Mandy disappeared in the hall only to reappear a minute of two later as she pushed her bra in her purse. I didn't ask because I didn't want to know and as we left, I glanced at Lewis' phone and moved my chin in its direction. He just nodded and I followed Mandy to the elevator.

I watched as she leaned against the wall in the exact same spot Devon and I had kissed but closed my eyes as images invaded my brain, appearing behind my eyelids like a movie I could never get tired of.

"Are you okay, Niall?"

I got out of my thoughts, trying to push away the thoughts in my head where Devon was straddling me and I was kissing her lips gently after a claustrophobia crisis, to turn to Mandy. "Yea, I'm good."

We walked together until my car and I drove in silence. She put her feet up on the dashboard and I felt my lips curl into a small grimace at how annoyed it made me but when I parked, I turned to her with a serious face.

"Look, Mandy, I think we need a break."

"A break?" she let out before chucking. "Niall, we're not dating."

"I know I just.. I can't do this anymore."

She tilted her head to lean it on the bench before turning her body slightly my way. She sighed low and a sad smile appeared on her lips before she licked them. For some stupid reason, it made me think of Devon. Again.

"It's because of that girl, right?"

"No." I lied, shrugging both shoulders and looking away, making Mandy laugh.

"I didn't even name her and you knew who I was talking about." she pointed out, making me grimace again. "It's okay, Niall, I see how you two look at each other. I didn't think she was your type but hey," she shrugged. "I get it."

I stared at her for a few more seconds, just trying to process what she was saying and when I frowned, she started laughing, rolling her eyes.

"Don't make this face! What did you expect?" she asked, an amused smile spread on her lips. "It's not like I was in love with you or anything!"

Without waiting, she got out of my car and I finally did the same. We walked together near the building and when we were about to part, I turned to her and sent her an uncomfortable smile.

"So... bye?"

She laughed again, shaking her head, and took a step closer. "I'm really gonna miss your ass." she let out, pinching it and making me tense immediately. She got on her tiptoe and pressed her mouth on mine, taking me my surprise, before taking a step back and raising her eyebrows. "Bye!"

I stood there, motionless, a sensation of relief washing over me as some of the stress I wasn't even aware I had disappeared suddenly. I pushed my hands in my pockets and when I turned back to get inside, I noticed Devon not so far from me, staring at me. My lips parted and my heart dropped when I realized she had seen what had just happened with Mandy and I was tempted to tell her it was not what she was thinking but instead, I swallowed my words as she walked closer.

"Your friend Lewis messaged me." she explained, glancing in Mandy's direction before looking back in my eyes.

I looked down at her, my eyes roaming on her face and lingering a bit too long on her lips. Why couldn't I get her off my mind? Why was it so tough for me not to grab her and kiss her right here and right now?

I started thinking about my ex girlfriend and the feelings I had whenever she was near, and it made me realize how different the two emotions were. The way I loved my ex girlfriend was needy, pathetic and ugly. The way I would do anything she wanted just because I was scared she would leave, the way she made me jealous on purpose, or simply did anything she wanted without caring if it would hurt me. I fell in love with someone who used me and it was for that same person that I had given up on love. Even now, after months of her breaking my heart, she still had an impact on me. She was still controlling me without even knowing. I was letting what she did to me ruin my life and I had no idea how to get out of it.

"Oh yea?"

"Mmhm, he said he cut the rent in half, and I think I can afford it."

"Alright." I just said, sending her a small smile.

"You don't seem surprised." she asked with a frown, tilting her head.

"No I mean, I know Lewis, he's cool." I shrugged, sending her a sincerely smile that she slowly sent back.

The way Devon made me feel was different. She made me feel good in a way I was not sure I understood yet. I could relate to her, and even if she didn't talk much about herself, she still let me in, somehow, by allowing me to look at her art and tell her how it made me feel. She allowed me to kiss her whenever I wanted and push her away after, as if she was always ready to give me a chance... a chance that I never had the guts to take. I was just realizing that maybe I was wrong and she was leaving.

"Oh, by the way, one of my friends has a mattress he doesn't need, so if you're interested, I can bring it to Lewis' apartment this week?"

Her eyebrows raised and her lips curled on the right. "Really?"

"Mmhm, oh, and since you don't have a car, I propose a ride to school every morning, how's that?"

This time though, she shook her head. "No, I can't accept that."

"Come on, I drive near there every morning anyway for breakfast, so it's all good."

It was not a complete lie but it was not the whole truth either, but I didn't care.

"No really, I can't."

"So you can accept Lewis cutting half the price of the rent, and a mattress from a guy you don't know, but when it comes to accepting my rides to school, it's too much?" I asked jokingly, a bigger smile on my face.

It made her chuckle and roll her eyes. "Fine!" she gave in, making my heart jump in my chest. "But let me pay you, okay?"

"Okay, but I decide the price." I explained, taking an other step closer. Her body was so close to mine now that if I moved, It could brush against hers. "I want that painting."

"My.. my painting? The one I wanted to throw away?"

"Mmhm," I admitted, nodding gently. "I want you to sign it, and give it to me. In exchange, you get rides and breakfast every mornings of the week."

She shook her head slightly, still smiling, and brought her shoulders up, near her cheeks. It was so endearing I almost kissed her right there.

"Niall, this painting is horrible. It'll never be worth anything."

"Deal?" I asked, ignoring her short rant.

Her traits softened and I brought my hand up, running my thumb on her cheek gently. I didn't know why I was doing that, I didn't know why I felt the need to touch her. All I knew was that feeling her skin against mine brought in me a feeling I was trying so hard to suppress, and I immediately felt the need to write a song. I let my arm fall back on my side, realizing she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and she just nodded very slowly.

I suddenly got scared of everything this could imply. Would I just close off again and hurt her? I knew it was a possibility. I knew I could wake up in the morning realizing my mistake and turning into the cold hearted man I was with her only a few days ago. What would happen, then?

"Okay." she whispered. "Deal."

[trulycevans]

our perfect little family

Warnings: swearing, a bad pregnancy experience 

Summary: anon requested:

“hi!! i absolutely love ur imagines 🥺 i was thinking maybe u could do one where chris’ gf is pregnant and they break up (unrelated to the pregnancy) but chris still is in her life and they get back together after the baby is born 👉👈 just an idea! hope u’re staying safe! <3″

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

[A/N I’ve never been pregnant so I don’t know much about the ins and outs of it, I’ve tried as much as possible to be accurate but if anything isn’t quite right you know why]

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You paced the bathroom of yours and Chris’ shared home. Heart in your throat as you watched the timer on your phone. You sat down on the toilet lid, knees bobbing, head in your hands. Never had you expected to feel the amount of dread you did at that moment. While many people in a relationship feel excited about a possible pregnancy, you on the other hand felt a sense of impending doom. 

The alarm beeped on your phone causing your breath to hitch in your throat. “Ok [Y/N], you’ve got this. No matter what it says you’ll be okay” You muttered a pep talk to yourself as you twisted to pick up the pregnancy test from the sink. “Fuck,” the two lines on the pregnancy test were bold and dark. There was no denying or doubting whether your child was currently growing inside you. 

Your head began to spin. Yours and Chris’ relationship had been rocky for a few months and was hanging on by a thread. Virtually every conversation you would have would be an argument, which lead to Chris sleeping on the sofa and an awkward apology the next morning. However, this was cyclical and happened most nights. You ached for the relationship you once had, one filled with laughter and joy. With stolen kisses and romantic endeavours. 

Your hand moved down to your stomach, “Hello baby,” You whispered, your eyes beginning to well with tears. “I’m gonna protect you no matter what-” You were interrupted by the sound of your boyfriend shouting you from downstairs. “Where are you? I’ve been looking for you. I-” He pushed the door of your en suite open, his gaze dropping to the pregnancy test in your grasp and your hand held softly on your belly. 

“What’s that?” He asked softly, frozen in his spot in the doorway. You didn’t respond, silently handing him the pregnancy test. His poker face while studying the white stick in front of him made you flood with concern, your hand never leaving your stomach as your knee continued to bob anxiously. 

“You’re pregnant?” He finally whispered looking up at you with watery eyes, causing you to nod. He cautiously walked toward you, kneeling next to you on the cold tiles. He delicately lifted his hand so that his fingertips could brush your cheek softly, causing you to look at his face, a small smile etched on his face, as slow tears trickled down his cheeks. 

“I know things haven’t been great between us recently...” He hesitated, taking a second to breathe and observe your reaction. “But you don’t know how happy this makes me.” His voice was barely audible.

“We-We’re gonna make this work right Chris?” You questioned, “No matter what happens this baby is always gonna have us right?” 

“That’s what you’ve been worrying about?” He asked incredulously, “No matter what I’m gonna be there for our child... Nothing in the world would ever stop me from being the best Dad.” His hand hesitantly drifted to your own that rested upon your belly, as if seeking permission from you, unsure of how you would react. 

“That’s our baby in there Chris” You whispered, and he gave your hand a tight squeeze as he interlocked his fingers with yours. A comfortable silence washed over the two of you, and you prayed that this feeling would never end. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

But of course it did. A baby was never going to fix the problems you and Chris had had. You both quickly realised that the stress of your relationship was not good for you or the baby. So just as you entered the second trimester you and Chris had ended your relationship, a mutual decision that pained the both of you each day. 

Chris had moved out of your shared home, not wanting you to have to put too much pressure or stress on yourself by being the person to leave. So as you spent the first night alone in your large Boston home you had cried whilst sitting on the sofa, Dodger curled up on your lap as the sounds of your sobs echoed across the empty halls. Your phone beeped on the coffee table in front of you and you leaned forward to retrieve it and read the message.

chris 🤍: I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so grateful for everything you have, had and will do for me and our child. Sleep well, I’ll see you soon x

Silent tears trickled down your face as your heart shattered even more.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The pregnancy passed in a blur and you had hated every minute of it. Not only were the hormones surging through your body making you feel emotionally, mentally and physically horrendous, but your crippling loneliness made it awful as well. Yes, you had yours and Chris’ family around you in the day which made it that little bit easier. But at night when it was just you and Dodger alone in the house, the house that was a constant reminder of your failed relationship. 

Chris had tried to be there for you in any way he could, and it pained him to see you so damaged by the pregnancy. He felt to blame, and yet it was inappropriate of him to try and help relieve some of your symptoms. 

Chris on the day that marked exactly four weeks before your due date had found himself parked up on the driveway of your home just watching you and waiting in case anything happened. You were struggling to walk at this stage and while you had insisted to Chris that you could take care of yourself (”Chris I’ve got this, go home I’ll be fine” you had winced as a sharp pain shot through your back). However, he knew that was just your stubbornness shining through. 

So to settle his nerves Chris had camped outside of your house in his car, just in case you needed him, and as he watched you through the window standing at the kitchen. He smiled, staring at your swollen belly as you chopped vegetables at the island. His adoration for you had only grown throughout your pregnancy, he craved your attention and affection, he wanted nothing more than to be able to stand behind you now hands on your swelling stomach, kissing your hair comfortingly as you talk about your day. 

His affection was quickly converted to concern however as he watched your eyes widen and hands clutch your stomach. He leant forward as he watched your look down at the floor and then grab your phone, his own beginning to ring immediately. 

“Hey!” He answered, “What’s wrong?”

“You’re still outside aren’t you?” You questioned wincing. 

“Yeah, why?” Chris breathed, anxiety piling up with every second that passed. 

“I-I think my water just broke” You breathed, Chris immediately jumped out of the car, dropping his phone into the centre console. He raced into the house, fumbling with his keys to open the door. When finally the lock gave and he was able to rush inside he found you knelt on the kitchen floor trying to clean up the fluid that had leaked.

“Babe what are you doing?” He questioned incredulously, the nickname rolling off his tongue out of habit.

“Labour could take days, and then I’ll probably stay at the hospital for a few more. I’m not coming back in pain after having this baby and having to clean up the floor,” You explained, causing Chris to let out an exasperated laugh. “And what do you think I’m gonna be doing when this baby comes, just watching you do everything. I’ll clean this up for you” He knelt down in front of you taking the cloth from your hand. “Why don’t you head out to the car?” He questioned, “I’ll grab the bag and take Dodger round to Mrs. Dalloway.” All you could do was nod as a contraction occurred, causing your face to scrunch up and you to moan in pain. 

Chris dashed around the house making sure everything was in order as you shuffled to the car. When he eventually climbed into the car, the faint sound of the radio as you text yours and Chris’ parents to let them know what was happening so they could meet you at the hospital. “You ready to have a baby?” He questioned, and you nodded wide eyed. A sense of fear reverberating between you. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

36 hours. That’s how long it took for you to bring Emilia Grace Evans into the world. But it was so worth it. The moment you and Chris heard her cries you had made eye contact and shed tears. You fell back onto the hospital bed exhausted as the nurses shuffled to take care of you.

“Well done,” Chris whispered brushing your sweat-ridden hair away from your face. “You did so well,” He pressed a firm kiss to your temple as the midwife congratulated you on your baby girl. She was placed onto your chest, and at last you felt at peace. You felt normal again for the first time in eight months, and as your eyes moved from your beautiful newborn daughter to your ex-boyfriend, you knew that you couldn’t do this without him. The adoration in his eyes as he watched you whisper comforting words to your daughter. 

It was an unspoken agreement to continue your relationship. It naturally just happened. The moment you were discharged from hospital Chris had gradually moved back into your home. You shared a bed again, he cared for you as you recovered from the ordeal that was giving birth. 

And after a month of living this way you had asked what you were while rocking Emilia to sleep on your porch swing. “We’re just us, [Y/N]” Chris whispered. “We’re just our perfect little family” He smiled as Dodger nuzzled his leg.

“Our perfect little family,” You repeated, looking up at him and leaning up to kiss him as the evening sun washed over you.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

taglist

@onetwo3000​ @tvckerlance​

[sgtbradfords]

Love your writing

Please write “you look really tired”

Thank you anon and thank you for the prompt as well! Quick edited so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy! :)

Lucy Chen had been though one hell of a shift. It started before she could check on duty, her favorite coffee cup falling off the counter, shattering into a thousand glass shards, her hair tie broke causing her immaculate bun to fall and then her phone died, all before she could walk through the doors at Mid-Wilshire. Needless to say, she was having a Monday on a Thursday.

“Hey.” Tim Bradford said as he fell into the open seat beside her. “You good?”

“Peachy.” She glared before a look of confusion casted over her face. “What are-“

“You sure? You never responded to my texts.” he quietly told her, twisting his chair back and forth.

Lucy grimaced.  “I’m sorry, I’ve just had a shitty morning.”

“Ok.” He said letting it drop, turning around talking to another officer that had walked in.

Lucy pulled her phone out, powering it on after charging it on the drive over to find her battery now at 10%, as messages and notifications began coming through as she started a new message, typing it out and quickly sending it.

‘We still good for tonight? Clock out at 4?’

“Alright, let’s get to it this morning.” said Sergeant Grey as he walked to the podium in the room. “Sergeant Bradford, thank you for coming in on your day off. It seems as though a large bust has fallen into our laps. Officers West, Holt, Raine, and Phillips will be assisting.”

Sergeant Grey went through the tasks still needing to be completed before dismissing the group of officers.

Lucy had just grabbed her vest camera and was making her way to grab her war bag before heading to get her shop, when her phone vibrated in her pocket.

‘I’ll pick you up around 5:30, that enough time to get ready?’

‘perfect’ she replied.

Lucy grabbed her shop, immediately plugging in her phone to the charging outlet of the car before she took a deep breath, cranking the vehicle.

As much as she hoped for an easy day, her day was non-stop as soon as she pulled out of the parking lot. A drunk and disorderly, two car accidents, a well-fare check, assisting on a shots fired call and defusing one verbal altercation later she was parking the shop and returning her gear. The clock on the wall in the locker room as she changed into her civilian clothing began ticking past four, as she quickly packed her uniform and belongings back into her duffle before walking out the door of the precinct.

She was both mentally and physically exhausted as she trudged to her car, throwing her things in before sitting behind the wheel, driving to her apartment on autopilot. Twenty minutes later she was pulling into her space, gathering her duffle and jacket, locking up the vehicle as she headed to the side door of the building.

As soon as she walked through the front door, she placed her keys on the small table beside the entrance, kicking her shoes off as she placed her duffle on the counter before making her way through her bedroom, heading for the bathroom. She removed her top and discarded her pants, throwing the clothing into the hamper before heading back out to the bedroom, sitting down on the edge of her bed as she stared at her closet, willing the perfect date night outfit to jump out at her.

The next moment she heard the sound of the handle from the front door hitting the sheetrock of the wall as she jolted up from the bed, her heart racing in her chest, not having enough time to reach for the weapon in her nightstand.

“Lucy!” the voice yelled before heavy footsteps barged into her room.

She could not help the yelp that escaped. “What the fuck!”

Tim stood in front of her, checking her over. “Are you ok?”

“I was getting ready for… what are you doing here? It’s not even five.”

Tim stared at her, his concern still evident on his face. “Lucy, it’s almost six.”

“What? No, it’s not-“ her words drifted off as she turned around, glancing at the clock on the other nightstand, the green numbers showing her he was right as it showed fifteen till six. “I must have fallen asleep.” She sheepishly admitted.

Tim let out a breath he never realized he was holding. “You weren’t answering your phone or the door, so I panicked. Two heart attacks in one day are not healthy on this ‘old man’s heart babe.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “You’re not old though.”

Tim softly smiled. “No, but I am sorry. I shouldn’t have panicked like that at all but after last time…”

“I’m ok.”

“You look really tired.” He spoke. “How about we just cancel tonight and stay in?”

Lucy’s eyes grew wide. “Our date! Let me get dressed and we can go, I can’t believe I fell asleep, the last thing I remember is staring at my closet and-“

“Luce,” he said taking her hands. “Why don’t you grab my shirt from the other night off the floor and throw it on while I fix us something to eat.”

She pouted, pulling her hands out of his, wrapping her arms around his waist. “But our date, I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”

“And we can go out tomorrow night but tonight, relax.” He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Ok.” She smiled up at him tiredly. “I knew I was tired, but I didn’t think I was that tired.” Lucy stepped out of the embrace, moving to grab the shirt off the floor beside her dresser as Tim walked out, moving to the kitchen.

“How did the bust go? Did Grey call you in this morning?” she asked, pulling off her bra and stepping into a pair of leggings.

Tim shuffled through the refrigerator, finding enough odds and ends to make a meal as he began telling her about the large amounts of heroin they were able to take off the street, along with the large amount of cash and the five weapons recovered.

They ate forty minutes later, enjoying each other’s company, Lucy telling him about the calls she went on throughout the day, Tim giving her reassurance and advice when needed as they cleaned up the kitchen.

Lucy found a movie on Hulu, letting it play in the background as she cuddled into Tim’s side as they laid on the couch, both of their eyes drifting as Tim ran a thumb over the exposed skin where his shirt she wore had ridden up.

“I’m sorry for freaking out this morning.” He mumbled into her hair.

She sighed, wrapping her arms around him tighter as she slurred. “It’s ok. I’m sorry for us not going out tonight.”

“You wanna head to bed?”

Lucy shook her head. “I’m ok here if you are.”

“Ok, love you.”

Lucy placed a kiss on his chest, as she felt his breathing even out under her head, her eyes drifting close. She would take this, the quite moments and stolen kisses, over dressing up and going out any day of the week.

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Cosmos | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 3484

A/N: This was titled in my WIP doc as “ANGRY SPENCER”. Also, I def almost cried writing this, I’m so sorry.

GALAXY MASTERLIST

Warnings: ANGST, hospitals, death, mentions of war, Sad Spencer, mentions of therapy, SPOILERS FOR Season 8 (The Lesson and Zugzwang)

Incessant knocking on your front door was enough to drag you away from the cringe-worthy reality TV on your screen and to your front hallway.

“I thought you had a date tonight,” you returned to your couch quickly when opening your door revealed your best friend. He stood awkwardly in the entryway, clutching a book in his hands while you sprawled on your couch.

“I cancelled.”

Normally you would have made a joke, a light jest, but clearly something was bothering Spencer.

“I thought Blake mom-talked you into it? Why’d you cancel?” you pulled your limbs in and patted the cushion next to you. He sat down and you noticed the way he practically melted into the piece of furniture.

“I thought her stalker was there so I called her and told her to go home.”

“Did you get a good look at him? I’ll call Garcia and we can watch traffic cams-” you started reaching for your phone, but Spencer grabbed your hand.

“It wasn’t him. I was just paranoid, and she probably is now, too. I’m never going to meet her.”

“Spencer,” your heart broke for your friend. You had only known he had been talking to Maeve for a few days, despite their relationship spanning months. You understood his reasoning for keeping it a secret, but now that you knew you were just happy that he was happy, “you’ll get another chance. There will be another date.”

He stood up and started pacing across your small living space, “you don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand half of what goes on in your head, but I do know you love her and that you’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“How do you know?” you didn’t really appreciate the sass from him, but you were too exhausted from the case you had just gotten back from to say anything about it.

“The same way I know almost anything else, I feel it. Intuition or instincts or whatever. What’s that thing you always tell me? Our instincts exist for a reason?”

He nodded, “I told Maeve the same thing before we left for the case, she said she knew deep down that her stalker was gone.”

“Spencer,” he stopped pacing and looked over at you, “your instincts exist for a reason too.”

“They were wrong. I was wrong,” he fumed. You stood up and padded to the kitchen, leaving him to his own devices for a minute.

“Is that from her?” you acknowledged the book in his hands when you came back and handed him a cup of tea. He seemed to have calmed down, although sometimes with Spencer it was hard to tell.

“Yeah, she wrote a quote inside it too,” he smiled sadly.

“Spencer Reid, if you do not call this girl and reschedule your date I will do it for you,” you told him, sipping at your own drink. The look of terror in his eyes as he glanced up at you was enough to make you laugh, which in turn made him laugh.

“Alright, I’ll do it, I promise.”

“Good. You deserve good things, Spence.”  

You kept repeating that phrase to yourself when you pulled up to the loft and watched your best friend walk inside without his vest or gun a few weeks later.

He deserves good things, he deserves good things, he deserves good things

A gunshot was fired and on Hotch’s command you went into the building, immediately noticing the way Spencer was clutching at his arm as he told you to stay back.

He deserves good things, he deserves good things, he deserves good things

As soon as the second shot was fired you were by Spencer’s side, collapsing on the floor and pulling him into your lap. Your heart was pounding, a combination of adrenaline and shock at the events that had just happened. You were acutely aware of the sobs coming from the man in your arms, as well as the blood from his arm seeping onto your shirt but you didn’t care. In all of your years of knowing Spencer Reid, you had never seen him this broken. Even when Emily had faked her death it was a different kind of hurt, one you both shared and could heal from together, but this… this was something new entirely.

You didn’t move when the rest of the team started working with SWAT and the crime scene unit to clean up the scene. You didn’t move when Diane’s body was taken away. You didn’t move when Hotch crouched next to you.

“We need to take care of her body,” you nodded, holding Spencer a little tighter. You wanted to ask the doctor how he wanted to proceed, but there was no evidence that his brain was functioning any higher than a pile of mush so you had to make the decision for him. He didn’t make a fuss when they moved Maeve’s body, so you knew that you had made the right choice.

The team didn’t bother you again until they were ready to leave, Alex and JJ approaching the two of you slowly. They didn’t have to speak, you knew what they were going to tell you.

Spencer’s heaving breaths had since slowed, but you could see the shine from the tears still running down his cheeks.

“Spencer,” you tried gently, “let’s go home.”

He gripped your arm tightly as you stood, still pressing himself into you much more than either of you usually preferred. You walked downstairs and were immediately directed to an ambulance that was still waiting. You sat on the back bumper as they treated his arm, not loosening your hold on the man.

The EMT went over to talk to Hotch after they were done bandaging Spencer’s arm, who in turn went to talk to JJ. JJ came to sit on your other side, a comforting hand placed on your shoulder.

“They want him to go to the hospital, don’t they?” you asked, already knowing what she was going to say.

“He needs fluids and an X-Ray, at least.”

“What do you think, Spencer?” you turned to your friend, feeling a little piece of your heart break off when you again saw how much he was hurting emotionally.

“Will you drive me?” his voice was small and feeble.

“Of course I will.”

Hotch let you take one of the SUVs. You flipped on the lights, but drove as carefully as you could towards the hospital. Spencer was silent the whole drive. You parked somewhere close to the emergency room entrance, but out of the way enough that the car would still be there when you were ready to leave.

You walked Spencer in, telling the reception nurse who you were and what had happened. They had been notified that you were coming and already had a private room ready.

Spencer tried to put up a fight when they took him to get an x-ray, though in his broken state it was just a desperate glance thrown in your direction.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you told him in reassurance as they wheeled him out of the room. While you waited you took the time to call Penelope, who was (as you predicted) extremely worried.

“Physically he’s fine, I should be able to bring him home tonight. Mentally though…” you trailed off.

“Keep our boy safe, ok?” she asked.

“I’m doing my best,” you sighed, giving her a quick goodbye and hanging up when Spencer was brought back into the room. You talked with his doctor who confirmed that you were able to bring him home, so you collected his belongings and slowly walked back to the SUV.

He was quiet when you drove to his apartment, and the silence continued when you walked up the stairs and into his dark home. At this point, you had done all you knew how to do and were waiting for any kind of indication from Spencer about how he wanted you to proceed.

“You should go home and get cleaned up,” he spoke for the first time since agreeing to go to the hospital.

“It’s just your blood, Spence. I’m fine.”

“I would really like to be left alone right now, would you please just go home?” he snapped.

“Ok,” you took a step back, holding your hands up in surrender, “I’ll go home, but I’m coming back tomorrow morning to check on you, ok?” Spencer wouldn’t look at you, even after a whole minute of silence, so you stepped out of his apartment. You hesitated at the top of the stairs, wondering if you had made the right move, and then you heard the click of the lock behind you.

You did as Spencer asked, you went home and showered your best friend’s blood off of you. It was the kind of horrific you never thought you’d experience. Curling up on your couch, you realized that what broke you most about the events of the night wasn’t watching two people get shot in the head in front of you, it was the way Spencer unraveled in your arms.

You fell asleep on the couch with all of the lights in your apartment still on.

True to your word, you showed up at Spencer’s apartment in the morning, getting breakfast for both of you on your way. You knocked on his door when you got there and waited, but he never answered. You knocked again, calling out “Spencer, it’s me,” but the door stayed shut. You tried the knob to find it still locked, so you pulled out your phone and called him.

“Hello. This is Spencer Reid. Please leave a message.”

“Spencer, it’s me. I brought food, just let me in so I know you’re ok,” you sighed, sitting down on the floor next to the door. You ate your breakfast, too hungry to wait for him. You had half a mind to try kicking down his door, but you decided waiting him out would be better. He knew you were there, he’d talk when he was ready.

“Hotchner,” your boss answered his phone when you called after four hours of silence in the hallway.

“Hey Hotch,” you realized you didn’t know what your goal was with this phone call.

“How’s Reid?”

“I don’t know. He made me go home last night and won’t let me back in. I’ve been outside his apartment all day.”

“He’ll be ok, he just needs time. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

“I won’t, thanks Hotch,” you tossed your phone on the floor when the call ended. You couldn’t decide if you felt better after having the conversation with the older agent. He was right, Spencer needed time Another two hours passed before someone you recognized came up the steps, bearing a large basket.

“(y/n)?”

“Hey Penelope.”

“Have you been here all night? Where’s Reid?”

“He’s inside,” you nodded in the direction of the door dejectedly, “he kicked me out and hasn’t answered since I got back this morning.”

“Well,” she set down the basket she was holding by Spencer’s door, “I’m as worried about him as you are, but I can’t have two of you not taking care of yourselves. Come on,” she held a hand out to you.

“Where are we going?” you were hesitant to move.

“Rossi’s, to get you a real meal.”

“I can’t leave him here alone,” you argued.

“I’ll call Derek, he’ll understand,” as you stood, Penelope took out her phone. You located your own device, redialing Spencer’s number.

“Hello. This is Spencer Reid. Please leave a message.”

“Hey, Penelope’s making me go get some dinner. She, uh, she left a basket out here for you. I think Morgan’s going to come over, if you want to talk to him maybe. Call me if you need anything, ok?”

When you finished the call Penelope was looking at you with sad eyes. You held your hand out to her and let her walk you back down to the street and into her car.

Rossi wasn’t surprised to see you when he answered his door. Penelope must have called him while you were leaving the message for Spencer. As you stepped across his threshold, Penelope stayed on the steps.

“You’re not coming?”

“This is for you,” she said, giving you a hug and a sad smile before walking away. You closed the door and followed Rossi to the kitchen.

“What’s bothering you the most about what happened last night?” he got to work preparing dinner for you.

“I feel like I’ve lost him,” you told him as you leaned against the counter, “is it selfish to hurt more for him than for seeing two people die in front of me?”

“We’ve seen more than enough people die in front of us for one lifetime, kiddo, you and I especially. It’s different when it’s someone you love.”

“I just wish he would stop shutting me out. We’ve always been honest with each other. He knows I understand how he feels,” you growled.

“You do?” Rossi pressed carefully. Your hand instinctively went to the bracelet on your wrist.

“I had a…” you hesitated, “a friend, in my squadron. We were on a routine surveillance mission, something we had done a million times before. We got attacked out of nowhere… It should have been me, Rossi.”

“They weren’t just a friend, were they?”

“No,” you sighed, accepting the plate of food he slid in front of you and not making eye contact, “Spencer’s the only one that knows the whole story.”

“He’ll let you in when he’s ready. You need to make sure you’re ready to be there for him when he is.”

“You make it sound like that’s easy,” you told him with a tired smile, finally starting to eat.

Having dinner with Rossi cleared your head in a way that was helpful, though it wasn’t close to the kind of clarity you usually got from being with Spencer.

After a week of camping outside of Spencer’s apartment whenever you weren’t at work, he finally let you in.

“Thank God, I’m pretty sure Miss Cavanaugh was one trip outside from sicking her Pomeranian on me,” you said once he had closed the door. Spencer didn’t laugh at your joke. He looked like a mess, and his apartment reflected the state of his dishevelment.

You decided not to comment on his state of living, and instead let him control how he wanted you to help. You made yourself comfortable on his couch, waiting for his next move. He surprised you by curling up next to you and laying his head on your lap.

“Everyone’s been really worried about you,” you tried. He still didn’t say anything, “I’ve been really worried about you.”

“Why? You know what this is like.” he finally rasped, his voice so quiet it was barely a whisper.

“I do, that’s exactly why I’m worried.”

“When does it stop hurting?” he sounded so desperate, a very vulnerable form of the information-seeking Spencer you were familiar with.

“I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but it doesn’t really. I still think about them, and it hurts sometimes. The other day I saw a moth that they would have really liked. It hurt out of nowhere and they’ve been gone for almost six years.”

“When does it get better?”

“That’s up to you, Spence. It’s different for everyone. It got better for me once I started going to therapy, but I had other things that I was getting treated for at the same time which I think helped the process along. I was doing a pretty terrible job managing it on my own, I know that much. It’s ok to take your time to figure out what works for you, there’s really no rush.”

The man in your lap sighed, and you wondered what he would be like once he got to the other side of this. You had no doubts that he would rejoin society and come back to work, but at what cost to his sanity?

You sat in silence for a while, eventually realizing Spencer was asleep. You figured this was the first time he was actually able to sleep in a week. You fell asleep yourself, until he jolted awake.

“I’m here,” you mumbled, adjusting yourself on the couch and patting his head lightly until you were sure he was asleep again. You continued this pattern every few hours for the rest of the night. It was exhausting, but you didn’t really care how well you slept as long as you knew he was safe.

The last time you woke up, you could just barely see the streams of sunlight through his closed curtains and you realized you needed to be leaving his apartment if you were going to make it to work on time.

“Spencer,” you nudged him lightly.

“Hm?”

“It’s time for me to go to work. Will you be ok if I leave or do you want me to call Hotch?”

“No, you should go,” he sat up, blinking slowly.

“Do you want me to come back later?” Spencer shrugged.

“I’ll come back at the end of the day, but you don’t have to let me in if you don’t want to, ok? This is your healing process, I’m just here to help,” you waited for his nod of approval before you spoke again, grabbing your things and moving towards the door, “if you need anything please call me.”

You were only ten minutes late, but the team was already in the round table room.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized, rushing into your vacant seat.

“Are you ok?” Hotch had noticed the dark circles under your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re wearing the same thing you wore yesterday,” JJ noted.

“I was with Spencer and didn’t have time to go home,” you started flipping through the file in front of you. The rest of the team was silent, until finally Morgan spoke.

“You talked to him?” You cast a glance at Rossi and realized that you were going to have to answer their questions before they would get back to the case.

“A little bit, I did most of the talking really. He’s getting better but he’s still in pretty rough shape. I’m honestly not sure he’s going to let me in again when I go back there this afternoon,” you trailed off, not sure what else to say.

There was a pregnant pause before Hotch finally directed everyone’s attention to the case you were consulting on.

“I shouldn’t have left this morning,” you told JJ while you were eating lunch, “I tell him all the time I’m not going to leave him, but I straight up walked out of his front door.”

“I’m sure he understands. I can stop by after work if you want to go home,” you were about to decline her offer, until you heard an eerily Spencer-like voice in your head telling you about the benefits of homeownership.

“That would be great, Jayje. Thanks.”

As you predicted, Spencer’s door was locked and JJ was in the hallway when you made it back to his apartment. You didn’t see Spencer again until he showed up a week later at the police precinct, draped in a cardigan, to help with the case you were working on.  

You were surprised to see him, but glad that he had finally made it out of his apartment and back into the world. You wouldn’t have solved the case without him, and it felt good to have him around at work again even though he still kind of looked like a mess.

He even took the jet back with you all, seeming more normal as he joked with JJ. When he asked for help cleaning up his apartment, you could start to see some life returning to him.

“You’re still here,” he noticed your position on his couch after Morgan, JJ, and Penelope had left.

“Last time I left you locked me out for a week, I’m not taking any chances,” you teased, thumbing through the book in your hands, “and you really need to stop apologizing. I get it, Spencer. It’s ok,” you spoke quickly before he could finish getting his hundredth apology out.

He laughed, not as strong as usual but it was a laugh nonetheless.

“Hey, now that we can get to your chessboard safely, do you want to play? I bet I can win this time,” you grinned.

“You’ve never even come close to winning. Every time we play I could win in three,” he deadpanned, settling on one side of the board and resetting the pieces.

“Well maybe today will be my lucky day.”

“(y/n), chess has nothing to do with luck, it’s all strategy. We’ve played enough that you should know that.”

GALAXY MASTERLIST

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: mutuals 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: miyoshi kazunari/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.9k words, 2 images

𝐚𝐧: me? back w/ fluff? it’s expected at this point! his speech is hard for me to replicate, but I rly do love Kazunari so I hope I did this scenario justice! I, uh, got too excited at the prospect of “insta mutuals” oops~ hope you don’t mind the additional media TT

The Insta notification that popped up on the top of your screen distracted you from the game you were playing. Normally you’d flick the notif away, but as soon as you realised what it was about, you rushed to finish the rest of the stage.

You and Kazunari have been Insta Mutuals for nearly a year now, ever since he hit you with a follow and you proceeded to stalk his readily-available socials. 

The two of you had been liking and commenting on each others’ posts for weeks on end, starting off with you praising his most recent graphic design work to him sending a paragraph of heart emojis on the most recent fan art you drew.

Somewhere in between following each others’ spam accounts to tagging each other on Insta story games, he finally slid into your DMs and the rest was history. Sort of.

You knew what people said about online dating, or even just long distance relationships in general, but try as you might it was hard not to fall for Kazunari.

The more you talked to him, the less he stayed as your “funny artist mutual” and soon enough he progressed into the “still funny but also really sweet and cute artist online friend, 10/10 would date if asked” category.

You didn’t bother stifling your laugh as you looked at the message he sent you, immediately liking his selfie before saving it on your phone.

Okay, no. He can’t just hit you with an “I do wanna meet u already” and then take it back but not fully commit to it!

You waited for him to respond through text, but instead got hit by your ringtone blaring loudly at such an ungodly hour. At the sight of your contact nickname for him, you eagerly answered his call. You rushed to get the first word in, him doing the same unbeknownst to you.

“Kazu-“

“Babe, I-“

The both of you paused, his eventual laughter easing up your tension as you let out a giggle of your own. You mentally told yourself not to be so nervous— Kazunari and you would have this conversation eventually anyway; besides, it wasn’t as if you didn’t want to see him in person. It was quite the opposite, actually. You just figured that conversations like this needed to happen in call, at least.

“Shoot, should probs shut up so Mukkun doesn’t wake up,” Kazunari commented, his voice volume already lowered, “do you wanna go first?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you replied with resolve. You gathered up your thoughts, formulating the next set of sentences that would leave your mouth, before ultimately deciding on one question. “I just need to know first… how serious were you about meeting up irl?”

“I mean, that wasn’t what I meant when I sent the message? But like, it’s still valid, you know?” he paused, but when you didn’t say anything he decided to continue, “it’s not the first time I’ve thought about meeting you. I think about it a lot, actually.”

It was a bit of a shame the two of you chose to voice call instead of video call. You would’ve loved to see your boyfriend’s face just about now, though you supposed it wouldn’t be a good idea to have a heart attack a quarter to 4 in the morning.

Plus, you weren’t sure you could handle him teasing and throwing compliments at you due to your clearly visible elation, if the upwards stretch of your lips was anything to go by.

“Babe? You still there? Did you pass out, or…” In reality it had only been a few seconds, but still you didn’t want to leave him hanging. Not when the two of you were talking about something that meant taking the next step in your relationship.

“I’m still here, Kazu,” you reassured him. Your voice shook slightly, a sliver of your excitement slipping through the cracks. “I’m the same. Like, no lie I was shocked we brought it up like this, but, um… I’m ready, and if you’re ready, too, I want to meet up with you.”

“Wait, wait, wait— hol’ up! So we’re finally going—“ he laughed for the second time tonight, a fuzzy-wuzzy warmth escaping as its sound equivalent. “Wahh! Of course I’m ready! Can’t wait to finally see what a cutie you are irl♪ Hngg, how am I supposed to sleep now? I’m too hyped up!”

You rolled your eyes, despite understanding exactly how he felt. His infectious cheerfulness amplified the blossoming commotion occurring inside your brain. Despite not making any official plans yet, the prospect of finally meeting up had you frenzied.

Still, one of you had to be at least slightly responsible. While you wouldn’t claim to know his daily schedule, if Veludo Arts was anything like your university, he should be as swamped with workload as you were. Actually, maybe that was the reason he was up so late? That’s how it was for you, anyway excluding the fact that you took a break to stamina clear.

“It’s nearly 4 am… do you wanna continue planning this tomorrow? Err, rather, in a couple hours? After our lectures end, maybe?” You asked, though by the tiny whine Kazunari let out you had a feeling he wasn’t going to agree so quickly.

“Ehh? Why don’t we do it now? I have so many ideas about where we could go, and what we could do… oh! I could introduce you to everyone in Mankai! I’m sure they’d love-“

“I’d love to meet them too,” you cut him off, tone as firm as you could manage at this time, “and I want to hear your ideas, really, but I just know if I let you keep talking the sun will rise before we’ve even decided on a date.”

You chuckled as Kazunari let out a sound of protest, though you had a feeling he knew you weren’t wrong about your assessment. “Zuzu~ Let’s go to sleep now, okay?”

His phone microphone picked up on an audible gasp. “Ehh, how come you rarely call me Zuzu? It’s cute when you say it!”

“Because it sounds like a nickname you’d give to a Pokemon!”

“Uwu, maybe I’ll get Itarun to lend me a copy? Then I’ll catch the cutest Pokemon and name it after you~” you nearly groaned at how fluffy he was being. Seriously, he was distracting you from your agenda of going to sleep!

“Kazu! Stop flirting with me at 4 am or we might not fall asleep!”

Though you couldn’t see him, you were 200% sure he had a wide grin plastered on his face right now. “Me? Using tactics to get you to keep talking with me? Never,” he claimed, professing his false innocence.

“Well, I’m not falling for it! I may not be able to physically tuck you in bed right now, but I can in spirit!”

“Oh!? Then can you give me a goodnight kiss in spirit, too?”

At this point, you were sure that even with just a poke on the cheek you’d be able to feel the heat beginning to envelop your face.

As Kazunari finished laughing, you let the quiet lull of the night seep in the conversation for a few moments before gently breaking it.

“I’d rather give you a kiss irl, though.”

And just like that, you claimed victory over the game he started. With how Kazunari sputtered, a part of you worried that he’d disturb his roommate’s slumber. Still, an even bigger part of you was smug to have him speechless for that much of a duration.

“Babeeeee,” he drawled, “you’re so, so, so unfair… I, like, really want to hold you tight right now…” he murmured, the rustle of his bedsheets discernible through the call. You found yourself nestling onto your bed, too, snuggling up to a soft pillow.

“Soon,” you suddenly yawned, your tiredness seeming to have settled in the comfier you got on the bed. “We’ll have a lot of time to plan tomorrow and the days after, yeah?”

Kazunari let out a hum in agreement, a comfortable silence following suit.

“Kazu?” You muttered quietly, careful not to disturb your peaceful atmosphere.

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Good night,” you said, heart aflutter as you heard his response.

“I love you, too, cutie~ sweet dreams♪” he said in an unbelievably soft tone, before ending the call.

After quickly connecting your phone to a charger, you fell back atop your bed and hugged your pillow tight, already anticipating the day you’d be able to hold Kazunari in your arms, and you in his.

…

Morning come, you hastily prepared for class as you always did. You fell into your usual routine— as soon as you were out of the bathroom, you selected an outfit and went over the things you needed to bring to uni today.

You stopped for a minute; taking a quick selfie to post on your story and emphasise your exhaustion to your close friends, before making yourself some breakfast. Within less than 5 minutes, your phone pinged— a recorded message from one of your favourite people this early in the morning.

"Mornin' piko☆ You're looking cute as always today♪”

There was no way you would admit to how many times you replayed it to Kazunari, but even so it was a good way to keep you positive for the rest of the day.

You don’t remember Veludo Way being this rowdy, though it was hard to trust your memory when it’s probably been years since you’ve last visited. Somehow, it was not tough to imagine Kazunari walking around and performing here— the liveliness of the streets difficult to not associate with one of the liveliest people you knew.

While the original plan was to meet up at a cute and trendy cafe you saw all over people’s SNS, the two of you agreed to meet up somewhere less crowded and more meaningful to him— the theatre which he’d performed at multiple times in the past.

As you saw the building from a distance, you wondered when you’d be able to see him on stage, too.

A shout of your name pulled you out of your thoughts, and you couldn’t help yourself from running over to meet up faster with the figure that was jumping and waving around in your direction.

Had you any sense left, you probably would have told him that you didn’t want him embarrassing himself in public, but in reality it was quite apparent that you were just as excited to finally see him in person.

“Kazunari!” you can’t help the little shriek you let out as you finally embrace him, only joyous laughter and each others’ names escaping the both of your lips. When you finally got a good look at Kazunari, you nearly wanted to bury yourself into his shirt again.

Everything still seemed so unbelievable. That this was real. That it was finally happening. It almost felt like the dreams you’ve had of this moment many times before.

“How are you so beautiful in person, too?! It’s totes like I’m falling in love with you again♪” Kazunari exclaimed, squeezing you one more time before finally settling on holding hands with you. “Ahh! I super, duper love you!”

Except it wasn’t. There was nothing imaginary about his warmth, and the way his words made you feel, and the beaming sunshine of a smile he aimed at you.

“I love you, too!”

want to order again?

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 11 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

11: Alternative Paths

The police officers told him they needed to ask him a few questions. What they forgot to mention was he would be locked in a small, remarkably bare room for five hours with a police officer who was dead set in viewing him as a suspect. Danny had never been more relieved to get out of a room before in his life. Yeah, he understood family members needed to be questioned due to the statistics surrounding such crimes, but seriously! Did someone as scrawny as him really look like he could have hurt Winston that badly without getting any sort of injury in the process?

However, he couldn't really blame them for being suspicious, especially when it came to his whereabouts the previous night. How do you rationally explain you were chased by a murderous robot-ghost-thing? The obvious answer was to avoid the topic all together. He hoped he was convincing enough when he said he and his friends had taken a walk in the evening and returned to Sam's house to watch some movies. He specifically avoided mentioning the park. There was no telling what the officers would think if they learned he might have been around when it got torn up. He was actually kind of surprised no one in the precinct had mentioned it.

A few times during his interview, he had nervously flattened his bangs a few times, hoping to hide the cut he had suddenly remembered getting at the beginning of his terrifying adventure. The officer interviewing him had noticed the motion, which caused him to leave it alone the rest of the time he was in the room. Surprisingly, Danny wasn't asked about it. A little wary after he was finished and allowed to exit the room, he touched the spot only to find smooth skin. It took a lot of self-control to not dash to a reflective surface and examine his forehead. There was no use in making the officers more suspicious. As weird as a missing cut was he could wait until he got home to check.

Scratch that… he could check after he found a place to stay for a while. As he was about to exit the station, an older officer kindly reminded him of the fact his house was currently considered a crime scene. After apologizing for a lack of effort from the staff for trying to contact his family and promising to personally look into it in the morning, he directed Danny to a nearby phone situated at the front desk.

Danny was a little surprised at the kind attitude of the officer as he had been dealing with a special type of dick for the past several hours, but it was a nice change. Shaking his head a little, he moved to the phone to call Sam, praying she was still awake as it was approaching midnight. Both of his friends told him they wanted an update, but with it being late and he being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, the only topic he wanted to discuss involved where he would be staying for the night.

As he was dialing her number, the door to the station opened and a tall man strolled in. The newcomer was tall and rather thin. He wore a clean black business suit which appeared to be expertly cared for and rather expensive. Gray hair had been slicked back into a neat ponytail, and calculating cold blue eyes surveyed his surroundings. Danny dropped the phone in surprise as he realized the man in front of him was the one and only Vlad Masters.

The sound from the phone brought him to Masters' attention, causing the man to adopt an unsettling grin. "Why here you are! I've been looking all over for you!" The tone of his voice and his expression adopted a semblance of concern, but it did not reach his eyes. "I was so worried after I found out what happened to Winston. My condolences, but I'm glad you're safe and sound."

"Don't talk about Winston like he's dead!" Danny snapped. "Look, can you just go away? If you haven't realized, it's been a pretty bad day for me, and I don't feel like talking to you right now."

"Of course. How inconsiderate of me. After everything you've been through today, you must be exhausted. Come, I'll make sure you're well taken care of."

It took Danny a moment to grasp the implications of Vlad's statement. "Wait… what? There's no way I'm going with you!"

"Poor boy, you must be more tired than you realize." The businessman pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a dramatic sigh. "Don't you remember? It was determined that you would be placed into my care if anything were to happen to Winston."

"That's news to me!"

"Excuse me, but what exactly is going on here?" The sound of the officer's voice made him jump. He had forgotten there was another soul in the room. However, he couldn't be more relieved. Being in the room alone with the businessman was an unnerving thought. It was even more relieving when he realized the officer seemed to be equally suspicious.

In a truly professional manner, Vlad introduced himself and explained his relationship to Danny as well as his involvement in the custody battle. Again, he mentioned how he was now to act as a guardian in Winston's stead.

"I already told you, I'm not going anywhere with you!" Danny growled as he glared at the man. Something was very wrong with the picture. Winston didn't trust Vlad, and there was no way he would let him fall into the billionaire's hands.

"You have to forgive the boy. We had a little spat the last time we saw each other, and I'm afraid he hasn't forgiven me," Vlad apologetically explained to the officer.

"Spat? You broke into my house?"

Before Vlad could respond, the officer held up his hand to halt the brewing argument. "Mr. Masters, do you have some sort of proof you can take the boy?" Vlad's expression quickly changed from shocked to insulted as the officer spoke. "Surely a man of your standing can understand our position. With the way Mr. Wolfe was attacked, we cannot rule anyone out as a potential suspect. With you being involved in a custody battle and Danny's status as a minor, we are rather uncomfortable sending him on his way like this. I'm also fairly certain you weren't notified of the situation…" The officer's eyes narrowed as he appraised the man. "Which leads me to wonder how you found out."

"One of my staff members was going to drop off some papers at the house when she saw the police cars and asked what happened" Vlad explained with an impatient air. "But that's not important right now…"

As he watched Vlad begin to argue with the officer, Danny couldn't help but feel a rush of gratitude. For whatever reason, the officer did not seem to believe Vlad's story and generally seemed concerned for his wellbeing.

Everything seemed to be going in his favor when Danny was nearly bowled over by a sudden blast of cold air rushed by him. Startled, he started looking around to find some possible source… and open window, a vent, something to explain it. While he tried to wrack his brains for some other answer when the normal explanations were ruled out, he noticed the officer stumble slightly. He didn't think anything of it until the man rubbed his forehead and excused himself for a moment.

Rather unsettled by the officer's display and being left alone with Vlad, Danny moved back to the phone to attempt to resume his call. Though he was able to reach Sam's house this time, a presumed butler answered and informed him that "Miss Samantha is asleep and no longer taking calls for the night." While Danny was pretty sure it was a lie, he went with it and asked the man to give a message to her when he could.

Displeased by the turn of events, he was about to try calling Tucker when the officer returned to the room. Something did not seem right as he looked at him. The man's posture seemed stiff, and his eyes were unfocused and reddish. Wait… Danny blinked and rubbed his eyes before checking again. The man's eyes were actually red! Weren't they brown before?

"Sorry for the inconvenience." The officer's voice had an unusual mechanical quality to it… almost as if the words he was saying weren't actually his. He held up a document of some sorts as he spoke again. "It seems like someone did verify this earlier, but just forgot to place it somewhere it could be found."

"Does this mean everything's in order?" Vlad asked with a voice filled with hardly concealed delight.

"Yes. You can take the boy. We'll be in touch within the next few days to let you know how Wolfe is doing."

"Splendid! Come on my boy, it's time to go!"

Danny backed away as Vlad beckoned to him, nearly tripping over the desk in the process. His mind was screaming all sorts of warnings at him. The entire situation felt wrong, but he had no idea how to escape it. Vlad was blocking his way to the front door, and he doubted the few officers left in the building would appreciate a desperate search for the rear exit.

"What did you do to him?" he demanded as his eyes darted between both men before he pointed at Vlad. He knew he probably wasn't going to get an answer, but he hoped he could stall the man long enough to come up with some sort of plan.

"Pardon me? Whatever do you mean?"

"Y-you know what I mean!" While he tried to keep the anger in his voice, it was quickly giving way to panic. Vlad kept moving towards him wearing an increasingly predatory expression which was really creeping him out. Strangely, the thought of accidently falling through the wall crossed his mind. Unsettling as it was, it was a far better situation than the one he was currently in. "The officer's not acting right!"

Vlad replied, but his words were drowned out as a strange coldness started to seep into his body, quickly filling every aspect. He tried to escape, thinking it was somehow tied to where he was standing, but his legs wouldn't respond. They felt heavy and strangely detached; his arms were beginning to feel the same way. He tried to yell out without any success. He soon realized his mind was being pushed further away from the sensations of his body and into something like a dark crevasse to be stored and forgotten.

But the coldness was not finished. It briefly brushed against his mind and seemed to whisper in an almost familiar voice, "Relax… It'll be safer for you and me if you do…"

Danny's last conscious thought before the darkness completely took him was to wonder if he was ever going to wake up.

….

When he came to, Danny found himself lying on his back and staring at an unfamiliar white ceiling. His mind felt groggy and his body heavy. Though he wasn't sure, he felt as if he had been asleep for quite some time. Sitting up, he tried to remember how he got where he was… only, he didn't know where that might be.

Looking around, he realized something wasn't right. The room he was in was rather large. It was a bedroom, not much different from Sam's, only it didn't have any posters or the same dark decorations. In fact, the room was mostly white save for some wooden furniture. Even the four-poster bed he was sitting on had a white comforter and curtains. The only real decoration in the room was a painting on the wall directly across from him which seemed to show military conquest with… a paranormal influence. It was rather grotesques.

The blank room gave him an uneasy feeling. Although it definitely wasn't, it gave him the feeling he was in a jail of sorts. Unnerved, he slowly got up and moved to the room's single window. After moving the curtains aside, he cursed as he realized the glass was heavily frosted, preventing him from seeing any scenery. His next move was to try the door, but it was locked.

After a panicked few minutes trying everything he could think of to attempt to open the door, he placed his back against the door and slid down it. What was he going to do? The better question was what was going to happen to him? With the room being blank, it gave him no indication of what he should expect. He should, he supposed, be thankful for it, but the wait might be too much for him to handle. What was the old adage? The suspense is worse than the actual event? He really hoped that wouldn't be the case.

xxxxxx

The sound of one of her parents calling for her to come into the downstairs wafted through the room, however, Sam was dead set on ignoring the summons. There were far more important things on her mind than dealing with whatever new 'daughter improvement project' they had come up with.

She was incredibly worried about her friend who neither she nor Tucker had heard from in a little over two days. At first she thought it might be due to being overwhelmed by suddenly finding out the man who raised him had been severely attacked and/or the police being jerks, but a call earlier in the day really concerned her.

She had been thinking about calling the police in the morning (while skipping class due to a feigned illness), however they beat her to the punch. Around eleven, she had received a call from one of the detectives asking her if she had heard from Danny. She told him no right before demanding to know what was wrong. Though it took a little bit of coaxing (and a reminder of her parents' influences), the officer admitted they had no idea where the boy was. He disappeared after his interview with another officer, and though they hated to admit it, after failing to contact him or anyone else who might have the boy, he was being labeled as a missing person. Her immediate response was to insult the competence of him and the rest of the force as the boy had gone missing from underneath their noses, but after she calmed down a bit, she promised to help in whatever way she could.

Sam sat down on her large purple clad bed and stared up at one of the posters on the ceiling as she tried to understand the situation. Her friend, who seemed to attract terrible and odd events, was now missing. Danny had tried to contact her the night he disappeared, but her family had forbidden her from further calls when she had returned home that night after they learned about the attack on Winston. Somehow, they had gotten the notion whatever had harmed Winston could attack her if she continued to talk to Danny. Though it was kind of nice to know they cared, they had taken it way overbroad.

But what was strange about the situation was there was no security image of Danny leaving the precinct. The officer had explained to her they had installed cameras a while back after someone had tried to break in to the office in an attempt to steal their guns. Due to safely concerns, they regularly had them checked, but the night Danny disappeared, they had a major malfunction. There was an image of him entering the entrance area, but after a few minutes, the image distorted so badly they could not make heads or tails of it. It also seemed to return to normal rather suddenly after a while, but Danny was long gone by then.

A look at the clock told her she was going to have to wait a while before she could contact Tucker. Unlike her, he had been forced to go to school. She had no idea if he already knew Danny was missing, but no matter what, he was going to help her try to find him. Tucker was the probably the only person in town who could possibly get an image off of the damaged security tape, and the only other person (besides her) who Danny had trusted with his issues. They had to try and do what they could to help him.

…

"So, any luck?" Sam asked the boy currently sitting on her rug surrounded by any number of other electronic equipment. He had been staring at the screen of his PDA with an intense look for quite some time.

She had managed to contact Tucker mere moments after he was finished with his classes for the day and explained the situation. After freaking out a bit, he told her he would be over soon after he made a quick stop. He arrived about forty minutes later looking more determined than he had ever seen him while carrying a bookbag filled to the brim with tech supplies she had never seen before. After asking if he needed anything, Tucker quickly went to work with his task.

"…Whoever did this to this footage is really good…" he eventually replied after a few more minutes of silence.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked hesitantly. It was rare to hear such a tone in Tucker's voice when it came to technology. He could usually work his way around a system in a few seconds, minutes if it was more complicated, but this was really causing him problems.

"It's hard to explain… Usually, people just modify existing images when they don't something seen, but this guy actually managed to replace some of the footage with an error screen…"

"So… it's gone… Like completely, gone? You can't trace it or anything?" There was no way for her to hide the hint of panic in her voice. If Tucker couldn't bring up anything, no one could… which meant they weren't going to have anything to use to find Danny.

A small laugh escaped Tucker, which caused her to stare at the boy. "Jeez, Sam, you shouldn't think so little of me. Who do you think I am? This guy, though good, made a small mistake. I guess he got interrupted or something because he started just covering up the image after a while instead of changing it. To most people, it's nearly impossible to catch, but it's there. Just give me a little bit of time…."

"A little bit of time?" Sam repeated as she watched him frantically work with his PDA. "How long are we talking about?"

He hit a few more buttons on the screen before he looked up and smiled. "Does 'now' work for you?"

"Tucker, you're amazing!"

"I know, I know. But it's nice to have my fans remind me."

Sam pulled down his hat in response as she sat next to him on the floor. "Anyways, do you have the entire footage?"

"I couldn't get part of it due to the replacement… but it looks like a little less than half was just modified…. So, let's see what no one wanted us to find…." He pressed a button on the screen and a fuzzy image began to appear. On the footage, they could see Danny backing away from someone standing near the door. It was difficult to make out, but judging from Danny's posture, he did not seem to be happy to see the person. After a little bit, Danny stopped retreating and followed the unknown man out the door.

Without any prodding, Tucker tried to see if he could clear the image a little or at least clear up the image of the suspect. After frantically trying several different techniques, he sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. According to him, even though the person had changed methods, they were still able to damage the rest of the footage.

"I'll continue to work with it when I get home," he promised. "This is going to require some big guns for me to get something useful out of this. But don't worry; I'm not going to give up. After he saved our lives, I think this is the least I can do for him."

…..

Tucker had been booted from the house as soon as Sam's parents caught him being there. Thinking back, she was a little surprised he had managed to sneak past them in the first place since they were particularly good at catching people going up to her room. They had punished her in response by having her stay in her room for the rest of the night, which didn't bother her in the least bit.

Around seven in the evening she received a call on her cell. Noticing the number, she picked it up as quickly as possible, hoping her parents didn't hear it ringing. "Did you find anything?" she asked the caller as a form of greeting. The caller's reply was spoken too quickly and frantically for her to understand. "Whoa, slow down Tucker! I can't understand you!"

"Sam… it's worse than we thought!" came his panicked reply. "I managed to identify who was in the police station with Danny."

"Yeah? Well, who was it?"

"It was… Vlad Masters…."

Sam barely registered the phone slipping from her fingers and landing on the floor. How could she be so stupid? She knew that man had an interest in getting hold of Danny and should be the first logical suspect, but she didn't realize he would have stooped so low.

Angry with herself, she reached down to grab her phone so she could calm a frantic Tucker but stopped midway as a thought crossed her mind. How were they going to be able to get Danny back from a man who had mastered in lies with an unimaginable fortune to back him up?

=============================================================

I just wanted to point out that the way these officers are depicted is due to experience. The ones in the borough where I grew up were usually nice, but if they had it in their minds you did something wrong, you could be treated like trash. But at the same time, they're the reason why my childhood bully wasn't excepted into the NFL - they slapped him with assault charges when he decided to get into a fight while he was in college. I have mixed feelings. The officers from the neighboring borough were wonderful.

[moonbeambucky]

Ho, Ho, Oh No!

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader Word Count: 2312 Warnings: fluff, implied smut

Summary: Plenty of gifts will be exchanged as you and Lance celebrate Christmas but you’re not prepared for a certain surprise

A/N: Thank you as always to Sam @buckyofthemyscira​ for beta reading 💕 gif not mine (x)

It’s peaceful in the morning without the sound of an alarm going off, a rare occurrence left for Sunday’s only, when there are no obligations besides dreaming cozily under your comforter. That’s a half lie, there is a very important responsibility to tend to, the one whose paws are swatting at your face, forcing you awake.

“Okay, okay Kip. I’m up.” You rub the sleep out of your eyes, tempted to roll back over until you see the sweet face of your little tabby begging for food.

Not so reluctantly you sit up, stretching your arms above your head and yawning so loudly you scare the poor cat.

“Sorry buddy, mommy’s tired,” you apologized, whether he could understand you or not.

Staggered footsteps take you to the kitchen where you open up a can of cat food. Kip weaves through your legs in a delicate dance you’ve learned to be aware of as he eagerly awaits his breakfast.

It’s not like he was starving by any means, dry food still sits in his other bowl but he wants the good stuff. His face is in the bowl before you set it on the ground, and you ignore the way your own body cracks as you stand up again. You need a massage and honestly you can’t wait until your other half gets home so you could have one.

Lance was due back today after traveling with the gymnastics team he coached and you missed him like crazy. Facetiming was just not the same although he made a point to do it every day he was gone.

You had been dating for a year and a half, living together for just a few months now and life was practically perfect. You fell in love with him and his rescue cat, and when you found out Lance named him after a gymnastics move your heart filled with even more affection for the suave athlete that was really a secret dork.

The warmth of the shower relieved your aching muscles and smelling the container of Lance’s body wash eased your mind knowing he would be home soon. He had been gone for too long and you had a plan in mind to welcome him back.

A few hours later Lance walked through the door, bright blue eyes standing out against wind bitten cheeks, bundled up in a heavy coat littered with melting flurries.

“Y/N?” he called out, taking off his coat and hanging it in the front closet.

Kip greeted Lance with a hearty meow as he was bent over to take off his boots. He lifted the cat in his arms, scratching his ears as Kip purred under Lance’s touch.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked Kip who rubbed the top of his head against Lance’s face.

Lance placed Kip on the floor and he grabbed his suitcase, as he headed for the bedroom he wondered where you could be. Your car was in the driveway but there was a chance you had gone out, although after a long trip there was nothing more that Lance wanted than to cuddle up next to you.

As he entered the bedroom Lance froze in place, more than surprised to find you on your knees in the middle of the bed, wearing red baby doll lingerie with white marabou trim. The Santa hat you wore flopped to the side when you tilted your head to greet him. Feeling himself twitch in his pants he instantly thought of another thing he could possibly want to do with you.

“Welcome home baby,” you cooed, a coy smile pulling at your lips as you seductively licked the candy cane in your hand.

“Is it Christmas already?” he asked, his weight dipping the mattress as he crawled towards you, laying you back on the bed and nudging your legs apart with his own.

You traced the candy cane along his lips, watching as the blue of his eyes retreated to a thin line as he sucked on the minty treat, humming sinfully.

“Only for naughty boys like you.”

His lips were on yours in an instant, tingling with sweet peppermint kisses that lingered on every part of your skin. That night Kip waited just a little bit longer for his dinner.

It was hard to focus on the task at hand, with Lance on the floor shifting the base of the Christmas tree you just brought home. His ass looked amazing in those sweatpants, so beautifully plump you couldn’t help but stare.

“Stop, it’s perfect!” you beamed, shifting your gaze back to the tree once it was centered in front of the window.

Lance pushed himself up and you took his hand, pulling him into an embrace. Leaning your head against him, you inhaled his intoxicating scent that combined warm cinnamon and light citrus. Every cell in your body loved Lance Tucker more than the last. You couldn’t believe you had met this amazing man, who was so unlike all the rumors said about him.

Lance was a tough trainer but never mean. He pushed his students to work hard but he could easily see when they needed a break. He was preparing them not only physically but mentally to be able to handle all that comes with competition.

It was after the Olympics Lance’s own reputation became slightly tarnished but he recovered and was thankful above all that you gave him a chance.

You tilted your head towards him and Lance felt the simmer of your passionate gaze. Your lips found his, soft and sweet, and you felt him smile against you.

“Sweetheart, we can move this to the bedroom if you want…”

His tongue swept across his lips and he raised his brow looking for your answer. You smiled, pecking his lips with yours knowing that as much as you wanted to continue this right now was the only time you had to put up decorations. Work had become increasingly busy and it was rare if you found yourself home on time. It was now or never if you wanted to decorate with Christmas being only a few weeks away.

“How about we decorate this tree and then… hop in the shower together?”

He detached himself from your embrace with comic speed, rushing over to the boxes that held ornaments, garland and all of your other decorations, frantically pulling off the lids in a hurry to get them up.

“Lance!” you whined playfully, “Come on. I don’t want to rush this. This is the first Christmas we’ll be celebrating in our place together and I want everything to be perfect.”

He set down the tangled cord of string lights to lift your chin, “Are you worried about the decorations or that your parents are coming to meet me?”

You sighed, unable to help the smile on your face because Lance knew you too well. You were very nervous about your parents coming for the holidays. They were eager to meet the man that stole your heart and every second leading up to their arrival date has added to your anxiety.

There was nothing to worry about, you knew this. They would easily see how kind and charming Lance is, but still in the back of your mind was this nagging voice that persisted, convincing you that everything had to be perfect. A gorgeously decorated tree, stockings hung just right above the fireplace, tinsel, wreaths and Lance’s favorite, the mistletoe.

Lance could see your mind was running like a hamster on a wheel, and all that spinning was making you even more panicked. Your name fell softly from his lips and you snapped out of your thoughts, finding peace in his calming irises, an ocean blue gaze that lapped like waves against the sand, washing away your worries.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, I promise. You’ve got nothing to worry about.” His lips pressed a kiss softly to your forehead and Lance cupped your cheeks as you stared back at him.

You were trying desperately to believe him, forcing your fears aside. “I know they’ll love you because I love you.” Lance grinned, pressing his lips to yours again. It was a quick kiss because of course your worries couldn’t stay away for too long.

“But I am worried. They’re predicting a bad storm the week my parents are supposed to come, what if their flight gets cancelled?”

“How many times has the weather been wrong before, huh? Just last week they said we’d have a foot of snow and what did we get? Flurries.”

You nodded your head. “You’re right. I’ll try not to worry.”

Your lips pulled into an innocent smirk and Lance chuckled, shrugging his shoulders because you both knew you would still be worrying about this. Not that he minded, because any time you needed reassurance he would be right there to hold you close until all your worries dissipated.  

Lance smiled as his phone lit up with your text message. It had far better news than the previous one that said you’d be late again. He was used to it, every night in the past week you had come home late and exhausted.

Often he had to force you to eat a little something despite you wanting to go straight to bed. Your job was extra stressful in the week leading up to Christmas but soon you’d have time off and he couldn’t wait. Although he was pretty excited by what your message said just now.

You: Hey babe. Finally on my way, hopefully not too much traffic but I can’t wait to see you soon… I have a surprise 😘

It was the kissing emoji on the end that really made him smile. The last time you had a surprise for him he found you wearing very sexy holiday lingerie. He questioned for a moment if this surprise might be along the same lines.

All of these late nights were taking a toll on you; sitting too long at work, eyes straining from staring at a screen, your back aching from poor posture. Before bed Lance would rub your shoulders, knead his thumbs into your sore muscles, kissing the aches away as he worked on the knots that littered your back.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the kissing emoji. Maybe work wasn’t so bad today. Maybe you had extra coffee and were able to move around a lot. Maybe you missed him as much as he missed you, wanting those nightly massages to turn into something more.

A smirk pulls deeply across his face as Lance comes up with an idea. He sets the mood, lighting the fireplace, dimming the lights to a glow as the crackling wood begins to drench the room in warmth. The blinds are closed, the tree is lit and Lance rushes to the bedroom to find the perfect sexy outfit to surprise you when you walk through the door. It doesn’t take long before he picks out the perfect one.

Lance stands in the living room, fingers slipping under the Santa hat he’s wearing to scratch his head. He adjusts the hat again, blowing out a nervous breath as he waits in silence.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said to Kip who hopped up onto the nearest table, staring curiously at Lance.

Within a few minutes Lance perked up as he heard the key jingling in the lock. He stood up straighter, adjusting his stance; transforming his giddy smile into a seductive smirk, his eyes falling into a half-lidded, lustful gaze.

“Oh Laaance,” you sang from the door, accompanied by a lot of noise. Perhaps the pulling off of boots and removing your coat, he thought. “Guess who’s– oh my god!”

Your jaw fell open at Lance, standing stark naked in the living room, only wearing a Santa hat with his modesty covered by a stocking. No, worse, it was inside of the stocking. On any other day you this would be a welcome surprise, but not today not as your…

“Don’t look!” you screamed, remembering your parents that were right behind you but it was too late.

You watched as your father spun his head around so quickly he might have given himself whiplash. Your head was buried in your hands as you felt waves of embarrassment wash over you. This was a complete nightmare, one you wished you could wake up from. You regretted not telling Lance about your surprise, that your parents decided to fly in early because the storm that was predicted was definitely happening.

Lifting your head you saw your mother continue to gawk at Lance who had become nearly as red as the stocking he held. His mouth fell open but no words came out; he’s not sure what he would have said any way, not when he wished the floor would open and swallow him up.  

“Mom stop!” You raised your hand to block her view but she was determined to get a good look at the man you were dating. “Lance would you put some clothes on!”

He was snapped out of his frozen state, holding the stocking extra carefully as he shimmied backwards. Lance was too embarrassed and preoccupied to realize Kip had left his previous spot on the table and was trying to weave himself through Lance’s legs.

The unexpected fur against his ankles made Lance gasp and stumble wildly as he tried not to step on Kip, nearly dropping the stocking as he found his footing. Your mother watched the whole thing, getting a perfect view of Lance’s bare backside, his buns jiggling as he was finally able to run into the bedroom to put on clothes.

“Well, Merry Christmas to me,” she smirked, fanning herself with her hand as she moved towards your father, as you hoped for a true Christmas miracle, that their memories could be wiped.