#maybe i was just a naive arrogant dumbass

[i-appear-misssing]

I knew I loved the story about the frog and the scorpion for a reason when I was a child

Oops I did it again and by it I mean fully give my heart to someone who I knew would destroy it COMPLETELY

But fuck I thought it would take longer and MAN drowning is NOT fun

[skylarmoon71]

Hero Killer (Stain) Oneshot

"How about we have some fun." 

You glared at the drunk male standing in front of you. You just finished a shift from your job. All you really wanted was a bath and some food. That was until this drunk got in your way. With all the heroes running around the city you would think one of them would have the decency to be present when it really counted. You didn't have time for this and you really didn't feel like getting your hands dirty.

"Beat it." 

You barked not even glancing up at him as you walked past the intoxicated idiot. He yelled after you, clearly not taking your words seriously. Before you could react he was floored. In front of you was a man in a spandex suit. He wasn't a well known hero, but you could tell from the arrogant look on his face he was probably one of those cocky types. "You're safe now." He assured. You didn't really need it, but decided not to be rude. "Thanks." you mumbled turning to leave. He grabbed your hand.

"Come on, I just saved your life, surely you can do something for me to return the favor." Your gaze hardened at what he was suggesting. He licked his lips moving closer. You were completely oblivious to the villain above you on the building, watching the scene unravel. Maybe if you'd known he was there you would have not acted because the notorious villain stopped when you spun around delivering a vicious punch to the hero's jaw. Said hero catapulted into a nearby building, going right through the wall. You rubbed your wrist where he held you with a grumble. "Dumbass."

Stain could hardly believe what he saw, he was so sure you'd been a normal civilian. It was clear that wasn't the case. "Then she must be a hero."

The thought irked him. He was about to deal with the one that obviously had less than pure intentions with you, but you'd handled it quite well. He settled for following you down the road. When you turned, he made himself known. "You're strong." your eyes lifted at the voice. There was a  man you perched up on the building. The torn red cloth he had around his neck was blowing with the wind, along with the bandages on various areas of his body.

Your eyes opened a little wider. Now you were on guard. You knew exactly who this was.

"What do you want!" you demanded clenching your fist. "Damn it, all I wanted was a nice bath and some food. Is that too much to ask for." Your perfectly planned night was slowly going down the drain. He jumped down, standing before you with his katana drawn. He was crouched slightly, marking you like an animal.

From all the rumors you heard, you had to admit he was different from what you imagined.

Some said he had sharp razor teeth, others commented he had a morphed face. It was weird, he looked so...human. Not the monster your mind conjured. Then again, was he really a monster? He took out corrupted heroes. Ones who used their powers to exploit others. So who was the real the villain in this scenario.

Right now you really didn't give a shit, you just hoped he didn't think you were his next target.

"You're not a hero." it didn't sound like a question. His red eyes were moving as if trying to place you.

You gave a dry laugh. "I don't give a crap about that shit. Like hell am I a hero. In this corrupted society the name doesn't have any appeal to me." you commented.

You didn't really care what was going on, the battle between heroes and villains wasn't a concern to you. You just wanted to be left alone. "That being said, I have no problem beating any worthless piece of scum that tries anything." you lifted your hands, preparing for a fight.

His gait changed completely, he raised, sheathing his weapon.

"Then I have no business with you." And just like that he turned, walking off. You stood there for a while, wondering if this was some trick he was using to make you lower your guard. It wasn't, in a matter of seconds he was gone, disappearing into the night.

"That was...strange.." you thought for sure he would attack. Despite your very short meeting, you sort of wanted to see him again. Something about him had you intrigued, especially since he was nothing like the stories circulating around the city.

~~~~

The next time you met, he was bleeding out in the back off an alley. At first you didn't know it was him. You were taking a shortcut to get to your apartment. When you got to the corner you saw him, leaned against the wall clutching his stomach. He probably assumed he could move around freely since it was so late. He'd never move so freely around the city otherwise, especially with the bounty out on him. Hundreds of heroes wanted his head on a pike.

"It's you again, Stain." you called. His head turned sharply and he flung a smaller blade in your direction. You moved to the side easily, causing it to dig into the wall behind.

His eyes narrowed. "What do you want, woman." You stepped closer. You knew it wasn't exactly a smart idea. Even injured you were positive he could win a battle. He wouldn't have survived so long if one wound was all it took to incapacitate him.

"Looks like you're in a bit of a bind. " he straightened his form, hand going back to his blade that hung off his waist. "Calm down there, I'm not looking for a fight. " He didn't draw his sword, but his eyes were still fixed on you. "That doesn't look very good, maybe I can help." you were startled by your own words.

Why the hell you were assisting a killer, you had no idea. Yet, you'd never been someone to walk away from a person in need of help. Even though you resented the thought of being a hero, you knew when the moment called for it you'd never just leave if someone was in danger. Of course that logic didn't apply to villains, but Stain wasn't like any of the villains you met. Not that you made a habit of encountering dangerous people.

He didn't speak, so you weren't sure if that was an invitation to help or not. Since he didn't look like he was going to skewer you with his sword, you just took it as a yes. You were just a few feet away from him now. You could clearly see the gaping hole in his abdomen. You were surprised he was still standing. Through the entire ordeal his eyes never left you. You could see the blood running down his body, staining his outfit.

You looked down at your hand, raising your finger to your mouth. You bit your thumb, drawing blood. "What are you doing." came his gruff voice. The sound made you flinch. "U-Uhh.. It's a bit hard to explain. Just bare with me." You opened your other hand, smearing the blood into your palm.

When it was covered in a thin layer of blood you turned to him. You gestured to him, indicating that you needed to make contact. If he thought for a second you were trying to harm him he would kill you in an instant, so all your movements were slow. You stepped closer and against your will your hand shook as you pressed it to his stomach. You held it there for a few seconds. For a while nothing happened, then he felt a burn. He pulled back, clenching his teeth.

His hand moved back to its spot to pull out his sword. Before he could, he looked down when he felt the pain in his stomach subsiding. The injury was closing all on its own. He was stunned.

"My blood doesn't just give me strength, I can transfer that strength to anyone I choose. "

You informed. It didn't take long for the wound to heal itself. When it did you stepped back.

"Well, that's it. Good luck with your future endeavours." you called turning your back as you waved at him like nothing happened. He sweatdropped. "This woman.." he couldn't for the life of him understand you. This never happened before. People always ran from him in fear, for good reason of course. But you just helped him, as if he were a neighbor or a friend. He needed answers.

"Wait." the firm tone caused you to halt. "Why help me, what do you get out of it?" You placed your finger under your chin thinking.

"Umm, well just think of it as a thank you for not killing me last time." you spoke nonchalantly. You gave him a small smile. "See ya later Stain." he watched you wearily, taking a step back as he jumped into the sky, scaling up the nearest building.

"It makes no sense." Stain was left with nothing but his jumbling thoughts. He didn't like the feeling that rose in his chest when you smiled. He was a killer for goodness sake. Whatever it was he wanted it to pass, quickly. If only it was that simple.

~~~

"You really shouldn't be on the streets all hours of the night (Y/N)-chan!" your friend lectured from the other side of the phone. You whined. "But I'm hungry!" you complained. You knew you shouldn't be out 3am in the morning but you were starving, and there wasn't any food in your apartment. You still hadn't made groceries for the month, so you were left with nothing but your growling stomach. 

So you left to get something to help your hunger. After furiously assuring her that you were okay, you kept on your journey. You went into a store just grabbing as many snacks as you could, and a couple packets of ramen noodles. "This should do it." you paid at the counter, walking out with a huge smile. You walked through the streets, munching on a pocky stick.

"Yummy, yummy yum~" you sang taking stick after stick. You froze when a shadow casted over you. Your head lifted at the man standing on the building just above. "Ah, Stain. You're alright." although you knew your quirk healed his wound last time, he left in such a hurry you couldn't tell if he'd fully recovered. "Why do you look so relieved, are you that naive." you frowned at his statement.

"I just wasn't sure if it worked all the way since you ran off like a scared little kitten last time. " you snapped. You knew what you said would tick him off. What you didn't anticipate was his reaction to said words. In a matter of seconds you were pressed to the wall, your bag of treats forgotten on the floor. He'd lifted one of his blades, pressing it into the side of the wall, right next to your face. His free arm formed a barrier on the other side.

Your eyes widened when he leaned in, a scowl on his lips. "What are your intentions, you said you hated heroes, yet you do an awful lot of heroic deeds." you stiffened when you realized he had to have been following for a while you to know that. Yes, you did hate heroes, but only the corrupted ones. That didn't mean you'd just let bad things happen to innocent people. "Maybe you're just another one of those false heroes, hiding in this broken society." You gritted your teeth, getting into his face.

"I'm not!" you were fuming, and it took you awhile to realize just how close you were to him. You blushed, trying but failing to control it. The close proximity was doing unusual things to your body. If you were honest, since the first time you meant you couldn't stop thinking about him. If you told any of your friends that they would have looked at you like you were a crazy person.

"W-What the hell is wrong with me he's a villain I can't be attracted to him, stop hammering stupid heart!" Something changed in his eyes. His blade faltered and he was staring at you in what appeared to be shock. The weapon clattered to the floor, and something seemed to dawn on you. "Did I...say that out loud.." he didn't answer, just stepped back.

You stayed pressed to the wall, unsure what to say or do.

It couldn't be, this was a trick, it had to be, an illusion. Maybe a side effect of metabolizing your blood. The flustered look on your face assured him that it was reality, not some delusion.

"Fuck." he thought bringing a hand up to the side of his face. The way you were staring at him now made him uneasy. There was too much fondness in your gaze, he couldn't understand it. Couldn't process it. So he did the only logical thing, he took off. You were rooted in your spot. You could have been wrong, but maybe just maybe, he felt just a little of what you did for him. You sighed. Now you would never know, because he'd probably never appear in front of you again.

~~

You busied yourself with chores around the house. You'd finally made your monthly groceries. You were packing your foods and drinks away happily. Relieved that you now had food to get you through the days to come. You pulled out a box, and your eyes lingered on the snack for a while.

"Pocky sticks.." the little treat brought back memories of that night. You hadn't seen him since then. You should have been ecstatic, nothing good could come of getting involved with him. If only you could convince your heart of that. "G-Gyah! What the hell am I moping about? He isn't even that cute! T-Those dumb ruby eyes, and stupid muscled biceps, soft looking lips.." Somehow your cons list turned into a pros list. You face palmed.

"Who am I kidding, the guy is a freaking god in my eyes." you sulked, pissed at your contradicting brain. A knock at your window brought you out of your inner turmoil. You tilted your head, assuming maybe some small animal just accidentally knocked into it. You pulled the curtain aside to investigate, not expecting the man who was on the other side of your window.

"Y-You came back.." well, this was a surprise. You lifted it, cold air greeting you. Your curtains swayed with the blow of the wind, and Stain entered, eyes still studying you. You turned as he now stood in your kitchen. You shifted on your feet. If someone told you before you'd be in such a situation you would have laughed in their face.

"Listen I-" he stopped you, moving into your personal space. Your back ended up hitting the fridge.

He pressed himself to your body and you shivered, not predicting this at all. Both hands had you trapped to the appliance. You closed your eyes. As strong as you were, that one action of his turned your body into putty. You let out a staggering breath. "Go on, scream." Your eyes sprung open and you could see the conflict in his eyes.

He was thoroughly convinced that you felt nothing for him, so he came to prove it. He was..testing you. "He doesn't think that he..deserves it.." maybe he was right. He killed for a living. In no world could that have been okay. But maybe, maybe you could change that. Maybe he just needed someone to guide him down the right track. Someone to let him know that he was more than a ruthless murderer, because when you looked at him that wasn't what you saw.

Your body moved on instinct, leaning into him. In a matter of seconds your lips were firmly pressed to his. Stain all but shut down. For the first time in his life he was paralyzed. His lack of response didn't even phase you. You leaned on your toes, gripping into the clothing on his chest as you kissed him insistently.

He backpedaled, almost crashing into your table. When he regained his footing he groaned. You were still kissing him as if it were the very air you needed to breathe. When he could no longer fight against your advances he returned the kiss. You moaned in the back of your throat, begging for entrance into his mouth. He complied, his tongue meeting your own. You whimpered when he took control of your mouth easily. His tongue rivaling yours. You pulled back, sucking in mouthfuls of air.

A small trail of saliva ran down your chin, and the desperate look on your face to taste him again must have been obvious. He was still catching his breath. "M-More please.." you couldn't believe this. You were begging him. You didn't recognize your own voice. Your hands reached up and instead of asking you just took what you needed the most. Your lips rejoined, groping at his muscled body. All his weapons were in the way. You reached around, unlatching the strap that kept them up.

They fell to the ground with a thud and you were grateful, now you could feel him. He growled at you probing fingers, he pushed you unto the table, luckily there was nothing on it. You stared up, his body hovering over you. Neither of you spoke, just gazed at each other. For a full minute it was like that. You couldn't take it, his stare, it was making heat gather between your legs. You pressed them together, hoping he didn't figure out what just his eyes were doing to you.

"You're mine now, there's no escaping." 

You should have been terrified that he was making a claim on you. This entire situation was crazy if you thought about it. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to be afraid. How could you when he was looking at you with so much longing in his eyes. He wasn't the heartless killer everyone thought, and you would make everyone see that.

Right after you kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

[starfanatic]

Luke Skywalker vs Rey... Nobody

I hate the argument that a lot of sequel trilogy stans use whenever anyone criticized Rey or labels her a Mary Sue. It’s probably the weakest argument a sequel stan can ever possibly say to me. (Besides the people hate Rey because she’s a women argument).

Lets compare them shall we?

Luke Skywalker in A New Hope is whiny, inexperienced, and very naive. There is multiple moments in a new hope that proves this. When he was whining about not wanting to stay on the moisture farm and wanting to join the Academy like his friend, Biggs. He constantly was slightly annoying throughout the film, especially to Han. When Han named his price and Luke was like “We can buy our own ship with that!” or when Han was flying the Milennium Falcon and Luke was practically yelling in his ear to go into hyperspace. Han and Luke did not get along at first because of Luke’s behavior. Luke went against Obi-Wan’s orders and saved Princess Leia, not thinking of the consequences. How he could possibly be killed or put in a cell with the Princess. He doesn’t think of a plan to get out AFTERWARDS only the spur of the moment. He was constantly shown to be inexperienced and needed his friends help or HE WOULD HAVE DIED THE FIRST MOVIE. While on the millennium falcon, Obi-Wan taught him things about the force. Maybe not a lot but he knew how to use the simple basics of it. Like sensing the force and letting it guide your actions (as Obi-Wan was trying to teach him before). For once Luke listened and trusted Obi-Wan and destroyed the death star.

Lets do Rey now WHOOP. So far the only personality flaw she seems to have is that she’s also naive? She had the same wide-eyed innocence as Luke had but it’s different and here’s why. Rey never suffers for any of her so-called almost non-existent flaws. Rey is experienced enough to hold her own in a fight against men WAY stronger then her (that’s realistic though but that’s one tool in her belt). She’s bilingual. She can fly the millennium falcon better then Han Solo even though she never flew one before. She is constantly saving people by herself, never the one being saved. (Before y’all bust my balls, Rey escaped that damn starkiller base by her damn self. Luke didn’t and couldn’t). She uses powers that takes years to learn and the excuse is the force dyad. So she downloads Kylo’s skills and training. Great. Magnificent. Rey is on a amazing start. And this is the first movie! She can only get stronger from here.

Luke is more mature and responsible in ESB. He’s a respected hero of the rebellion. Luke still struggles using the force. Even with the training Luke goes through with Obi-Wan he had to truly focus to pull the lightsaber to him. Plus as a common occurrence, he still needed help from his friends. He’s not invincible. He actually gets severely hurt (makes sense). He goes to Dagobah to get trained (because unlike Rey he doesn’t have the “learn force jedi shit that takes years to learn” cheatcode). And then he’s impatient. He wants to learn how to use the force so he can help his friends. Luke is again reckless, impatient, and he’s also insecure in his own belief. Him not believing he can lift the X-wing was why he couldn’t. Against his master’s and Obi-Wan’s orders he decides to save his friends. It’s a noble reason to but it still got him fucked up. He got his hand cut off, he was beaten and humiliated, and then he was told a horrifying revalation that twisted around everything he knew and believed. He was scared of Vader, you can see it on his face, but he did not succumb to fear.

Rey goes to the island to convince Luke to go help them fight the war. Why doesn’t Leia go instead? Who knows. Why does Luke act the way he does? Who knows. Luke dismissed her and was quite rude to her. Rey was having cute little talks with Kylie Renner in their little force dyad BS. She called him a monster and a murderous snake. I like the insults. It fills me with joy! But then she finds out the truth. Rey did do something reckless and stupid but as usual she doesn’t suffer the consequences to her actions. Technically she’s morally superior to Luke because she saw the good in him and felt like she could turn him to the light (after slicing his face open. Ok). Rey decides to give herself up to the First Order thinking Kylo would save her. And he does. So she wasn’t even wrong... Rey fight the very elite guards of the (bootleg emperor palpatine) Supreme Leader Snoke. Reminder, TFA and TLJ are like 3-4 days apart. She had zero training within these days. Luke refused to train her so don’t start that bullshit. Luke trained her for like 5 minutes and none of that training had anything to do with lightsaber dueling. Rey is then told she was a nobody. Now why did Rey cry about this? I truly don’t know. How the hell would Kylo accurately know that Rey’s parents were nobody? Didnt Rey been know this from the force awakens? Eh whatever. She tries to force pull the lightsaber from Kylo Ren and do a dumbass tug a war instead of walking up and grabbing it. It reminds me of JJ and Rian fighting over where the star wars sequels). Anakin must be screaming and yelling from above... or below... idk. The lightsaber then breaks. Rey then saves her friends by showing her once again superior piloting skills that rival or is possibly better then Anakin Skywalker himself. Hitting 3 in one shot? You go girl! She then uses the force to effortlessly move the big ass boulders out of the entrance to save the resistance. Last I remember... Luke struggled to do that with a few way smaller rocks and was also focusing hard to do.

Luke is finally at jedi status! Woohoo! Now Luke first saves Han from Jabba. It shows his very dark side tendencies by choking the guards (like father like son). Luke thinks of a actual plan before going in (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT). Luke “Chanel Boots” Skywalker goes to Yoda on his death bed. All he wants is answers but Yoda wants to be cryptic as fuck. Luke has been lied to for years by his mentors and his family. Luke’s father isn’t hero Anakin Skywalker but actually a big, asthmatic, merciless, murderous asshole who has a choking kink. Luke then says he cannot kill his own father and Obi-Wan, who believes Vader isn’t a human but a machine, has no faith in Luke. He believes that Luke will fail and the Empire would win. Luke feels the conflict and good in him that nobody else does. He knows that Vader is unloyal to the emperor and he actually cares about his own son. When he is with Han and Leia he realizes he made a mistake and has a bad feeling about it. (*gasp* Luke is not being super reckless). He’s not arrogant (not in anyway) but he’s completely confident that Vader would turn. (He isn’t flawless there is still obvious problem with this plan he has. He fails, the empire wins. He dies, the emperor wins. Vader doesn’t turn, Luke fails. Luke almost succumbs to the dark side and it’s actually plausible he might fully turn. He wants to desperately save his friends and his father has done horrible things to Luke. Luke had every reason to kill Vader. But he doesn’t. He throws the lightsaber away and foolishly puts his life in Vader’s hand. Luke doesn’t save the galaxy because he can make things levitate with the force. He wins because he had the strength to resist the dark side and has so much love and pure good in his heart he saw the good in his father.

Rey starts off with a training session (no idc it’s too fucking late now. 3 movies in? Is she doing reverse character development?) and basically Poe gets mad at Rey for not accompanying them on missions. I still don’t know why she needs training, when she is at a decent strength to fight elite guards, fight kylo ren, and a variety of other things that typically takes a long time to learn. After finding out Palpatine returned, Rey goes on a mission to find the way finder almost like a shitty videogame. I don’t even want to talk about the force dyad anymore because it’s fucking dumb. Rey gets chased by the force order and hear this out, FORCE HEALS (i forgot what the animal was but idrc). Which means Rey had the power to stop the painful truth of death themself. Why am I not surprised? Rey did something that no other jedi nor sith or jedi have ever done this. Anakin went to the dark side to save the ones he love. This movie was just a slap in the face to Anakin. Rey then fights Kylo Ren and lost??? again it seems a little too late and it also didn’t make sense. Rey defeated those guards all by herself with Kylo needed help from her. She’s obviously the better lightsaber duelist but hey, at least JJ was trying to mellow her out a bit. Rey stabs him while our beloved Princess died. She then regrets her decision and as always, doesn’t have any consequence to her actions. By the force I forgot, the whole scene where she is revealed as a Palpatine? Completely invalidates the first two movies but eh whatever. She uses a power that only the elite sith does... something Kylo Ren himself could not do (and he’s on the dark side). Rey “killed” Chewie but actually no she didn’t because Chewie is perfectly fine. Rey is supposed to be all dark and edgy now, “you don’t know me” BS. Yeah I’m sorry I won’t tolerate this because my only allergy is the fish smelling coochie bullshit called the sequel trilogy. Rey got scared of her dark self. Well at least JJ tried? Rey then almost gives up but Luke was like “nah fam you cant”. Rey dies trying to fight Palpatine but then as usual, she gets zero consequence cuz Benny Simp saved her using the force. Then she kissed him... no. No. No. This made my eyes burn like they just threw bleach in my eyes. It made no sense. “A Kiss of Gratitude”? What the shit was that? GIRLS DO NOT INSPIRE TO BE REY.

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 10

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-8 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Olivia clinged to her mom just like she did when she was five and her mom wrapped her arms around her and dried her tears as she always did, but nothing about that hug felt the same. She had grown up and so had her mom. Serena wasn’t a twenty-six-year old graduate student in a tiny apartment near campus. The apartment they had at the time was far from luxurious and Olivia remembered her grandma and grandpa had offered to pay for her to live somewhere nicer, but her mom wouldn’t budge. For the first time in her life she wasn’t going to depend on her parents’ money and Olivia had never seen her mom happier. While her mom was holding her, Olivia wished she could close her eyes and be transported back to that apartment where she and her mom sang silly little songs together and her art projects were displayed anywhere she wanted them to be. 

But there was no going back no matter how tightly she closed her eyes.

“Mom, I have to tell you something.” Olivia didn’t know what she should start with. Her dad? Kissing Alex? But neither seemed right. “Do you love Jamie?”

She felt her mom’s finger playfully tap her nose just as she did when she was little. “That’s not telling me something, Olliegator, but, yes, I do love her and she loves me, too. I know it’s always been just the two of us, but I want you to know that I wouldn’t bring anyone into your life unless I knew they were going to be in it for the long run. You’re my priority, Ollie, and I’ve always said whenever I decide to get serious with someone, my main concern is how he or she would treat you.”

“Mom, Jamie is the only person you’ve ever dated as long as I’ve been on this planet.”

“Okay, smart guy,” her mom said as she started to tickle her.

“Mom!” Olivia shrieked, trying to squirm away from her tickles. “I give up! I give up!” 

“Your laughter will always be my favorite sound,” her mom told her and, although they were meant to make Olivia feel loved, her words cut deep when she remembered the real reasons she was crying.

Olivia decided to sit up on the bed and her mom followed suit. “Mom, I’m glad you have Jamie. I like her and her advice worked. I got kissed tonight.”

“I know you did.”

“Are you mad?”

“I’m not naive, Olivia,” her mom said as she fixed a few strands of Olivia’s hair that was no longer being held in place by the pomade. “I knew you having a girlfriend would mean you’d eventually kiss her. I just want to make sure you’re kissing a girl and being kissed because you want to be and not because you feel like you have to. I also want you to never make Alex feel like she has to kiss if she doesn’t want to.”

“I wanted to,” Olivia insisted. “So did Alex. I was nervous at first, but now it’s all I can think about.”

Wrong answer, Olivia thought as she felt her mom squeeze her tight. “I’m not ready for this. No girl should be kissing my little Ollie Koalie yet, maybe in ten years.”

“And no woman should be kissing my mom,” Olivia retorted. “But even if someone is gonna be kissing my mom, I’m glad that someone is Jamie. And, Mom?”

“Yes, Olliegator?”

Olivia returned her mom’s embrace. “I think you and I finally figured out this whole mushy love stuff.”

“I think we did, baby,” her mom responded, giving her a kiss on the temple. 

Serena’s perfume smelled a little more expensive than it did when Olivia was five, but she was still sleeping in the same style of camisole and her skin was just as soft. Her hugs still feel the same.

“Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Remember how you said I could always talk to you about anything?” Olivia pulled away from her mom’s embrace so she could look her in the eyes. “I’m twelve now and that’s almost a teenager. I think I’m old enough to know about my dad.”

Serena leaned her head back against the wall. She wiped under her eyes with her fingers and Olivia didn’t know if it was because she was stalling for time or she was trying not to cry. “What do you want to know about him?” 

“What’s his name?”

“Emerson,” Serena said matter-of-factly. One fact about him checks out.

“Where did you meet?” 

“Columbia.” Fact number two checks out.

“Was he your boyfriend? Did you love him? Mom, just tell me,” Olivia pleaded.

She noticed her mom bite her lip and her eyes started to water. “Olivia, the reason I never told you about him isn’t because I want to keep secrets from you. It hurts me to talk about him but, you’re right, you’re old enough to know who he is. He was my best friend.” Another fact about him checks out.

“What was he like?” Olivia asked, torn between wanting to get information and not wanting her mom to be upset.

“He was a frat boy,” Serena half-smiled. “There were three types of frat boys back when I was in school－jocks, arrogant rich boys, and the class clowns. Emerson was definitely the latter. I had never met anyone like him before. He was the first friend I made when I started school and we did everything together. There weren’t any feelings involved the first two years or maybe there were and we just didn’t acknowledge them.”

“You had to have acknowledged them in your junior year. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here. If you didn’t fall in love with him, I wouldn’t exist.”

“Yeah, Olliegator. If I hadn't fallen in love with him, you wouldn’t be here.” Her mom sniffling and the change in her tone of voice was more than enough for Olivia to know that her story wasn’t going to be some cute college love story like the kind in an indie movie, but she didn’t want her mom to stop.

“Was he your boyfriend?”

“Yes!” Serena said in an angry tone of voice that startled Olivia. “Ollie, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Yes, he was my boyfriend. I was so in love with him even if he was the most chaotic dumbass I had ever met. He’d do anything to make me laugh. In the spring semester of my junior year, I got a C on one of my midterms. I had never gotten anything less than an A- and I thought my life was over. When I told him what happened, he bought me a cake and came over a couple of hours later. He lit a candle and started to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ but changed the words to ‘Happy First C.’” Her mom had begun smiling uncontrollably and, although she wasn’t finished with her story, Olivia already knew that she wanted to tell her dad all about how her mom had told her the story of the cake and how much she was smiling when she told it.

“So, what happened next?”

“He said, ‘You didn’t fail, Serena. A C is average even if there’s nothing average about you.’ And that’s when I kissed him. He asked me to be his girlfriend right then and there. We finished off that chocolate cake and had a frosting fight to celebrate. I had fallen in love for the very first time. My heart was set on marrying him someday and then everything just...changed.”

“What changed? Was it because you got pregnant with me?” Olivia asked glumly. “ Why couldn’t we be a family?”

“Olivia,” Serena reached out and grabbed her hand. “I loved you from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you. It wasn't me being pregnant that changed everything. What changed everything is what happened the night I actually got pregnant with you.”

“What happened that night?”

“Olivia, sweetheart, I’m going to need you to stop. It hurts me to talk about what happened and I don’t think you’re ready to know.”

“No!” Olivia insisted. “I deserve to know what happened. You’re my mom and he’s my dad and I deserve to know why we’re not a family.”

Her mom gritted her teeth and tried to calm down. “Olivia, please stop.”

“I’m not going to stop until you tell me,” Olivia clinged to her. 

“Get off of me!” Her mom yelled out as she forcefully broke away from Olivia. Serena shifted to the other side of the bed and, as her eyes were tightly shut, Olivia could have sworn she heard her mutter ‘Get off of me’ under her breath in repetition. 

When Jamie entered the room to check on them, her mom pushed by her without saying a single word. They heard the front door slam a few seconds later and Olivia was surprised Jamie was staying with her instead of following her mom.

“Can I hug you?” she asked Olivia as she sat down on the bed next to her.

Olivia just nodded before clinging to her the same way she clinged to her mom just moments before. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make my mom cry. Is she going to be okay?”

Jamie affectionately rubbed Olivia’s back, hoping to reassure her. “Your mom just needs some time, Ollie. Something happened to her that she doesn’t like to talk about because it hurts her a lot. All we can do right now is give her some time and when she’s ready you and I are going to give her all the love and support that she needs. Do you think you can do that?”

“I can do that,” Olivia responded, although for the first time she was afraid to go near her mom after how forceful she had been with her and how much her wrist still hurt from where her mom grabbed her and pushed her away.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” It was a lie and she knew that Jamie could see through it. Jamie was strong and Olivia felt safe in her arms, but she missed her mom’s cuddles and kisses, so she decided to get off the bed and look out the window. Her mom was standing on the front steps with her uncle Kyle, crying into his sweatshirt. From her fourth floor window, Serena looked so small and helpless and Olivia had to stop herself from running outside to comfort her. Mommy, what did he do? 

[sometimesrosy]

I am reading the books for S&B (halfway book 2) and pretty much everyone annoys me on various levels and Mal is the top of that god damn list. like holy moly I wish I was making notes of the things because I want to talk about them but i keep forgetting and now I want to show you some of the quotes that I find interesting/// also has anyone noticed the way Ben Barnes stands in the show? like the way he tilts his head back a little? that and the beard is the main reason why we (sis and I) want to punch him

LOL

I would shudder every time he came on screen. When he tried to make her wear black, HIS color. He was literally claiming her. I literally just gagged. How was she so stupid that she didn’t realize her letters weren’t getting to Mal and Mal’s weren’t getting to her? 

I SUPPOSE because she had never had abusive relationships made explicit to her. She didn’t know what to look out for. She was honest so expected others to be honest. She thought everything happening was on the surface, but he had motivations she did not expect. 

And OMG when he was with Alina with his disgusting snake (no offense to actual snakes) ways and she was too naive to know what was going on even when she was LITERALLY warned against powerful men.

I can’t speak to book!Mal yet because I’m still finishing up my last book before I move on to S&B. So I’ll have to get back to you on that one. 

I mean, it’s okay if characters annoy us sometimes, we want them to have room to grow within the story. We want them to be stupid and naive sometimes, or rude or arrogant, so they can learn and transform. Yes? Hopefully they do.

My WIP is about a character who is not always sympathetic. She’s avoidant and she sleeps around and she likes to scare people off and she pushes boundaries and keeps people at a distance and abandoned her own child many years ago. And I hope that people like her enough to stick around, because there were reasons for the abandonment and the abandonment is why she is the way she is... a bit of self punishment for what even she thinks is unforgivable. And the whole story is essentially about her healing the wounds from that initial incident, and redeeming the character and getting her back to the life that was hers.

BUT what makes people stick around for an unlikable character? And what qualities are unforgivable? How much can you take of annoying or unlikable characters before you’re like, nope, sorry, I really don’t care to read your story. 

I remember I tossed Gone, Girl, because I just found everyone so unlikable and annoying. But I generally have a lot of patience for characters. I guess it matters what YOUR issues are. Like I don’t like stories about entitled, privileged people complaining about how hard their lives are. Just no patience. But a dumbass orphan who doesn’t realize his best friend is the love of his life? Maybe that’s okay. I guess it depends on what he does.

[lollytea]

What are your opinions about Jungle cubs? I loved that show as a kid!

hi hello!! thank u for humoring me!! i love getting asks about the stuff im currently obsessed with that nobody really cares about, it makes me feel valid! also i dont have well constructed opinions, i just have a very messy, manic head so i just babble all my thoughts. for that i am sorry 

im not gonna say jungle cubs is the best damn cartoon to hit the tv and maybe its just my own biased love speaking when i call it a good show but it means a lot to me personally. it brought me comfort as a little kid, i came back to it as a teen when i was feeling very alone and came back to it again as an adult just cuz of my recent love of baloo and talespin and needing something to keep me upbeat during the quarantine. 

and ive watched quite a few cartoons i loved as a kid that i dont really vibe with anymore. i tried rewatching gummi bears. its not my thing. but jungle cubs is?? really good?? its just so charming to watch. i love the expressive animation, i love the smooth flowing dialogue, i love the playful and naive tone it has of just a bunch of kids being kids, i love the depiction of these characters, i love the performance of the voice actors, i love the layers it adds to the original film. layers that were never intended to be in there in the first place but isnt that just the beauty of interpretation and ones own imagination. 

its such a formulaic concept isnt it. to take a classic show/movie and make its protagonists babies for a spinoff. but i dunno, i always got the feeling that whoever was the backbone of this story actually cared about the characters they were writing and took a sincere approach to it. 

they thought in-depth about how to devolve them from their current personalities in a realistic way and what aspects of themselves are so core to their being that they would have been ingrained since childhood. the cubs feel pretty three-dimensional and considering theyre cash grab spinoff babies, that is an amazing feat.

but also, i love it for the very very very simple reason of its really adorable. bagheera especially. to see such a stoic and levelheaded character in his earliest stage as a child just Hits for me. cub bagheera is clever, hes cautious, hes a little stuck-up, all traits he has in the movie. hes also not the best hunter, doesnt know how to roar yet, is a little cowardly, sorta awkward at times and is often trying to prove that hes the best even though hes aware that he is nowhere near the best.

like its easy to believe the kind of person he grows up to be but at the same time, its really interesting to see the more childish aspects of himself that he eventually matured past. and hes adorable dude! baby bagheera voiced by EG Daily is the sweetest goddamn thing, i love him so much 

also shere khan who is a fuckin doozy. hes very interesting in this too. everything about his attitude is reminiscent of a preteen who says mean things to you on voice chat while playing overwatch but if you tell him you’re gonna call the police on him, he starts panicking. thats shere khan’s vibe, a real edgy little tiger who thinks hes hot shit cuz he probably caught something bigger than a mouse like one time and its gone to his head. 

hes constantly stalking around, subtly bragging about what a natural predator he is. but at the same time, he’s still around?? hes still hanging around with the other cubs cuz hes ALSO a cub and likes to play around with other kids his age. and he fucking loves his friends. the amount of times he’s scared off bigger animals who were about to harm them. and its really sweet cuz they like him too. while his attitude is definitely annoying sometimes, they still consider him their friend and enjoy his company. its just wholesome. 

plus hes also pretty vulnerable as hes a cub. he doesnt stand a chance when they come across a grown animal as a threat. he gets scared just like the rest of them, hes just so arrogant that he never admits it. 

in fact the appeal of the show in general to me, is the vulnerabilities of all the characters that comes with being in their most immature state. they dont know any better when it comes to stuff. this show is real dumbass hours 

EVERYTHING about baloo is just great. he does not change even slightly. he is exactly the same except hes little and his voice hasnt broke yet. his child voice is amazingly fitting also.

i mean i guess one thing that differentiates him is adult baloo had some semblance of a philosophy. he was wise....in a way. baby baloo does not know shit about shit. he does not think. he just vibes, okay?? i love him mwah

i dont have much to say about the others but i DO like this interpretation of them more than their adult selves. it also just feels bittersweet that they grew up to be such dicks. Haithi is lovely, i love that hes just out here TRYING to be a colonel but he lacks the authority that comes with being a grown elephant and he doesnt have the self confidence to command anybody yet. he is simply babey.

 louie is a very cute little dude, i love him and baloo as just an idiot squad. he also has a very good voice

kaa.....i dont trust. on one hand, hes very sweet as a child but on the OTHER HAND he grows up to be the creepiest fucking creation disney has ever put in a movie so that snake will always rub me the wrong way even when im trying to like him. 

also ONE THING thats driving me crazy about this show is like. it has the best depiction of pre-adolescent boys that i have ever seen in a cartoon ever. just the way they behave. theyre sweethearts one minute, extremely mean the next minute, going from building eachother up to lightly bullying eachother, lots of unprovoked play fighting, laughing over dumb shit, rude to strangers for no goddamn reason, theres just a lot. 

it fuckin knocked me back like 15 years cuz it reminded me so much of kids i used to play with. and these arent even human children whose brain development is documented, these are animals, this show had no business being this spot-on.

i dont like season 2. it has a few gems here and there that i get a kick out of. but as a whole, its really disappointing. since the show swapped production companies, they seemed to uproot it completely and start from scratch. and its kinda sad cuz i think they were TRYING to do something poignant when it came to a future narrative but it just didnt land. firstly there was a huge animation downgrade and looking at the two season in comparison is kinda depressing. 

also they redesigned the characters, some looked worse than others. baloo looked fine but i still preferred his og look. bagheera....was the worst. rip bagheera. 

they all underwent a huge personality change. and not in the way that showed subtle maturity, i mean a vapid exaggeration of their original personality. the only characters who were left relatively alone in this regard were baloo and kaa. and i dont mind gradually changing a character since there IS an adult version of them that they should be growing into. but the season 2 depictions are literally the furthest things from their adult selves that its unbelievable.

 another pet peeve is they changed a few of the voice actors and.....i love these season 2 voice actors in other work theyve done. dee bradley baker and cree summer specifically who are both very talented people. but they did not fit these roles in the slightest. (not to mention having cree summer play an APE and suddenly having her do a LOT of monkey noises that the previous va never had to do. im not gonna get into all that BUT hmm.) and if youre gonna recast the characters to make them sound “older” as least make them sound somewhat similar to the jungle book actors, so you can picture them eventually growing into those voices. 

also the tone shifted so much between seasons. the way they tried to make this jungle more of a “society” with shit like talent shows and sports games and celebrities and like fuckin. STOP. theyre animals. just let them be animals. along with that the writing just feels really off and its just. not fun. i dont like it 

and as i mentioned, they WERE trying to do something here. the fact that the cubs didnt hang out with eachother as much and were starting to drift apart is kinda sad and wouldve liked it see it handled a little better. but instead i got season 2, which was stupid. and im 21 and im petty. 

anyway i am very sorry that ended so negatively and im very sorry that rant was completely all over the place i have no sense of proper organization i just wanted to gush about what i love. but on a positive note i love jungle cubs!! its very dear to my heart and makes me very happy and i wish it had gotten more episodes

[divinedecay]

Kindness Kills, Part 3

Prompt: They were a ww, he was a vamp, can I make it any more obvious Pairing: Vamp!Kuroo Tetsurou x WW!Reader Word Count: 1,994 Warnings: Blood mention, bad writing lol Taglist: @writeiolite​ A/N: Damn, the final part... I hope its alright Part 1 // Part 2

Of course.

Of course it would come to this.

Of course it would come to you and Tetsurou circling each other, prepared to lunge, to wound, to kill.

Of course.

    You really, truly, should have known better. After what happened before, you should have known. Should have expected this. But instead, you had allowed yourself to do something stupid. Not only had you allowed yourself to have feelings for a Vampire - granted, this wasn’t exactly something you could control, but still - but you had also given in to those feelings. As you stalked around Kuroo, you couldn’t help but marvel at what a damned idiot you were.

    After leaving Teru’s apartment, you had known your time was short; you had to either find a very good hiding place, or find somewhere to wait. Somewhere of your choice.

If it was to be a fight, you were determined to have it on your terms.

    So you’d found a place, and waited. It hadn’t taken long for Kuroo to come to you.

    You had both heard and smelled him coming; he had made no effort to hide it. You hoped that wasn’t arrogance that drove him, because, if so, he was in for a nasty surprise. 

“Y/N,” his voice had sounded from behind you, and the tone he took sent your anger skyrocketing.

“Don’t,” you snarled the word, “don’t you dare say my name like you love me when I know you’re here to rip my guts out.” He hadn’t said anything after that, and you had simply stood and turned to face him, letting the anger and betrayal burn brightly in your eyes as you stared him down. “I should have known. I should have known better than to trust you. It was always going to come to this, and I was stupid enough to believe that maybe it wouldn’t. Stupid of me to expect the past not to repeat itself."

"Y/N, I don't-"

"Have a choice?" You cut him off, teeth practically bared. "Don't give me that bullshit. There's always a choice." You pause, scoff, roll your eyes. "Then again, it was choices that got me into this mess, wasn't it? I should have known better than to trust a vampire again after what your kind did."

"Y/N-"

"Shut up, Blood Drinker." You look at his eyes, at the barely masked pain there. You could let him speak. Give him time to explain. You could. But you're too busy remembering what happened before, what led you to this entire situation in the first place. You almost laughed at the parallels, at the sheer twist of fate that caused this. What happened before, before anything to do with Tetsurou, it made you so beyond angry at this entire situation. Angry at Tetsurou, for being a Vampire. Angry at your former pack leader, for being naive. Angry at yourself, for being a complete and utter dumbass.

    So he doesn't get to speak, to explain, you decide. He's here to kill you, why should he get to explain himself?

    You feel your teeth elongating, your nails growing as you began to slowly move to the side. Kuroo copies the movements, backing away and trying to keep you in front of him.

Not that it will matter, you grin, shoving your hurt deep, deep down. Now wasn't the time for hurt, now was the time for anger. No matter how this turned out, you won. If he died, you got your revenge, your vindication. You rid yourself of him forever and you can move on.

    If you died, you were taking as much with you as you could. You'd make sure he had scars from this encounter, make sure he remembered you for as long as his miserable life lasted.

“Y/N,” for fucks sake, the way he said your name drove you insane. Shaking off the pang in your heart at his voice, you lunge before he can say another word. Your claws graze his cheek as you practically tackle him to the ground, the claws on your other hand starting to sink into his shoulder. You see the shock in his eyes as his body reacts before his mind can catch up, and he practically launches you off of him, sending you basically flying halfway across the clearing.

    You land, hard, on your side, your breathing heavy, but you don’t launch back up. Especially when you hear him inching closer.

    As soon as he’s close enough to you, you swing your legs, knocking him over and launching yourself on top of him once more, but the glint in his eye tells you he was expecting this, and he uses his strength to turn the tables so that you’re pinned down, not him. A drop of blood falls on you from the bleeding scratches on his cheek.

“Just listen to me!” His voice is rough and desperate, and it takes everything in you to ignore it.

“Why should I?!” The anger is written plain on your face. The hurt. The betrayal. And you know it. Kuroo’s face is different, all frustration and determination, and then suddenly his lips are at your neck and his fangs are sinking into your skin.

“Are you fucking insane?!” You didn’t know how Vampires reacted to Werewolf blood, and you weren’t sure you wanted to find out. In that moment, you were too shocked and baffled to remember that you’re supposed to be angry, but your emotions quickly boil back over, anger flushing your face once more.

“Just listen for one fucking minute!”

“No, you listen! You have absolutely no right to ask me to listen! None!”

“Why the hell not?!” There’s a look in his eye, a wild desperation.

“Because this has happened before,” you’re yelling now, screaming with anger, with every bit of emotion you have. His face changes, just for a moment.

“Wh-what?” The confusion in his voice is so genuine, the shock so real. You scoff.

“What? Your treacherous, backhanded, slimy despot of a clan didn’t bother to tell you how they wiped out an innocent pack, minding their own business?” You like to think that if Kuroo had the ability to pale even more, he would have. “Well,” you sneer, “let me educate you.

    Once, there was a small clan, who lived just outside the city. They kept to themselves and bothered no one, the whole shebang. They were kind to everyone. And, one day, their pack leader fell in love.

    She was a sweet Wolf, cared about her pack and others around her, but love… love destroyed her. You see, she fell in love with a Vampire. But what none of us knew was that this Vampire wasn’t actually in love. This Vampire was sent to us. To destroy us. Just for being what we are. Because our pack leader dared to fall in love with a ‘higher’ being.” The words that you spit out are filled with disgust, but old wounds that still stung. Kuroo watched your face, watched as years of anger and sadness came raging out. “One day, I was out, away from the pack, running errands, and I came back to-” your voice catches, halting and tripping over itself, “to carnage. Everyone. Everyone was dead, and the whole place stunk of Vampire, of Vampire work.” You shake your head, fighting back the prick of tears in the corners of your eyes. “I made the mistake of thinking you could be different.” Your voice is quieter now, your eyes averted, but still angry. “So, yeah. Fuck you and your clan.”

“Listen,” he takes a breath, fighting to keep the disgust out of his voice so that you can’t misinterpret his tone, “for just- for just a minute, and then, if you still want to rip me apart, you can. I’ll stand here and let you.” Your eyes snap to his, and you blink a couple of times in surprise. “I had no idea about your pack, Y/N, and I had nothing to do with the horrific actions my clan took.

    I am not my clan, and if you’ll give me  your ear - not literally-” a flash of a shit-eating grin, then it’s gone again - “I’ll explain everything.” He paused, searching your face for a sign to continue. You blinked at him again, and he could see the war behind your eyes, but you made no moves against him, nor did you speak. He took that as permission to continue. “My clan gave me the ultimatum, yes. Kill you or die. And, yes, I told them I would kill you.” Anger flashes in your eyes, but he continues, unfazed. “What my clan fails to realize is that not everyone is as bigotted and backwards as them.

    I have no intentions of killing you, Y/N. None at all. In fact, I… I really intend to leave the clan. And I hope you’ll come with me.” His voice is almost scared, and you have to replay his words over and over in your head to make sure that you understood him.

“Why?” It’s the only thing you can utter for a moment, then questions start flooding out. “Why? Why on this God-forsaken planet would you choose me, a Werewolf, over your clan? I’m not even immortal, this is the worst possible decision-” And then his lips are on yours, hesitant and soft. He’s never kissed you like this, like he’s scared and desperate, but he is now, and it makes your brain short-circuit a little.

“Because,” he mutters, his face mere inches from yours, “I love you, Y/N. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I’d rather be with you for however long you’ll have me than sell me soul out to beings who probably don’t even know what love it. I’d rather go through everything that comes with being with you than live one more undead day without you.” The words are pouring from his lips, flooding your ears like a tsunami. The weight of them threatens to crush you, but something in your heart leaps with hope. You struggle for words, stumbling over syllables until the only thing that manages to leave your mouth tumbles right on out.

“Say sike right now.” He blinks, then starts laughing, and it's the best thing you’ve heard all day. And the most terrifying.

“No, babe, there is no “sike.” I love you,” that grin, that damned grin, spread across his face, and you knew that, as much as you wanted to be angry with him, it wasn’t his fault. It was his clan’s. And he wasn’t his clan. “So, what do you say? Be a cliche and run away with me?”

    There were so many things that could go wrong, so many things that could backfire. There were so many risks, so many problems. And yet… you couldn’t help but think that it would be worth it. You loved him, you really, truly, did, and, if he was to be believed, he loved you, too. You were happier than you’d been since before your entire pack was murdered, and you knew it.

    You take a deep breath and close your eyes, trying to teach yourself how to give in to the feeling once more. It was easy, truth be told. Kuroo was, well, Kuroo, and that was enough for you.

    You open your eyes to the same easy grin, but there’s worry in his eyes. You bring your hand up to his cheek, wipe away the blood, let the anger leave your body. 

“I love you too, Tetsu.” If it was possible, his grin gets wider, and his eyes get brighter. An expression of pure joy washes over him. There would always be complications, sure. There would be troubles and risks and things that go wrong, but you could deal with all of it, every single bit, so long as Kuroo was by your side. 

Perhaps his kindness wouldn't kill you after all.

[tommyquackson]

Arrogant | B. Barnes |

summary: you’re an avenger, but you cannot stand James Barnes

warnings: fluff, cussing, reader and bucky are rude af

note: i don’t even know man, i just though of it.

Being an avenger was, in a nutshell, crazy as fuck. Between fighting aliens, terrorists, titans, meetings, training, families and living together you barely get time to just relax and take it easy. That’s not to say I don’t like being an avenger, I love it. Sure, I don’t love every aspect of it but if i’m able to save the goddamn universe, i’m gonna do it.

Speaking of bad aspects of the job, here comes Bucky “Dickhead” Barnes and Sam. He strolls into the kitchen like he bought the place with that god awful smirk on his stupid face.

“afternoon y/n” Sam nods towards me as he sits next to me at the Island bar.

“Morning sam, wanna train with me today since Nats on a recall mission?” I nudge him as I take a bite of my sandwich.

“Then who am i going to train with?” Bucky whines from across both of us, drinking out of the gallon of milk.

“Oh i don’t know, you could try yourself? Maybe you’ll be able to do some self introspection and figure out just exactly how many times I have to ask you to not drink out of the milk jug that literally everyone uses? Or you could finally try to figure out how not be a narssicistic asshole?” I sarcastically smile towards him.

“Ooo, are you using big words in the hopes i don’t understand them, so that for once in your life you’ll feel smarter than someone?” He smiles back

“I’m smarter than you could ever dream of being dick-wad, just cause Steve taught you how to fucking read a book doesn’t mean you know anything” I growl

“Jesus, it’s like watching to tigers getting ready to have sex” Sam widens his eyes. “But sure y/n, ill train with you. Wanna head there now?” He asks nodding his head towards the elevator.

“Gladly” I say putting my plate in the dishwasher before following Sam to the workout room.

After training I head upstairs to take a shower so I can get ready for some party tonight. I step out of the elevator and walk to my room and notice my door open. I peek in and see Barnes sitting on my bed watching TV.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” I bark at him from the doorway.

“Watching TV clearly” He chuckles

“I meant in my room you dumbass. Get the hell out” I say walking in and shutting the TV off.

“You know you cuss a lot” He says finally looking towards me.

“You know you’re still in my room so i’m going to kindly ask you to leave before I shoot your ass” I clench my jaw. Why is he so damn infuriating.

“Wait, I need to talk to you” He says rubbing the back of his neck. Indicating he’s nervous.

“Make it quick”

“Are you goin to starks party? I uh, didn’t wanna go if i didn’t know anyone there”

“Yes im going, now leave” I say trying to push him out even though he’s extremely heavy.

“Geez doll, even when i’m nice you’re mean. What’d i ever do to you” He mumbles as he walks out, shutting the door behind him.

What did Barnes ever do to me? He should know fucking asshole. I came to the team, wide eyed and fairly naive. I was barely there 2 days before I was thrown headfirst into a dangerous mission with Bucky, who hadn’t said a word to me. I ran into a building, open firing on the enemy while barnes sniped from an upper level beam. I ran out of ammo and instead of grabbing another gun, i went for my knives and begin taking out enemies in combat. I was fighting my heart out when I turned around saw Bucky being distracted by one of their women, so distracted he didn’t notice the man making his towards him with a handgun. I had to throw my knife at him and kill him and Barnes still had his eyes trained on the woman.

He put both of our lives in danger just because he hadn’t been laid since the fucking 40s. Then the cocky asshole had the nerve to tell Steve about how well he did on the mission. Boasted about how many times he saved my life by sniping enemies that i hadn’t seen.

I shake it off and step into the shower rinsing off the thoughts of barnes. I step out and begin getting ready. Once i finish my makeup and move to my hair, deciding to have it straight and down. I put on my dress which is long and fairly tight with a slit up to my upper thigh. I put on my thigh holster and stick a gun on one side and a knife on the other, you can never be too safe. I slip on some heels and and throw some things in a small purse and head down to where the party is.

As I walk in I see a few of my agent friends and head to the bar to get a drink.

“Don’t look, but Barnes is staring you down, 3 o’clock” One of my friends tells me excitedly.

“Gross” I then look straight towards him and lock eyes. He smirks and winks at me and I smile and flip him off, rolling my eyes and turning back to the group.

“Why don’t you want him? He’s so hot, the things i’d do to him” She gushes stealing glances at him.

“Have him, I don’t want him. He’s an arrogant asshole” I shrug.

“Isn’t that exactly your type? Arrogant asshole to the world but cares for you?” She giggles.

“Oh fuck you, Barnes is not my type. He’s too- too” I grow frustrated trying to come up with a word.

“Too alluring?” A voice speaks from behind us.

I turn around and see Barnes leaning on the bar, a glass of whiskey in his metal hand.

“do you always listen in on a lady’s conversation?” I groan.

“A lady? No never. Yours? As much as I can” He puts on the stupid smirk again and licks his lips.

“Well than listen to this Barnes-“

He cuts me off by taking my drink, setting it on the bar and pulling me to a quiet corner.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” I nearly shout at him.

“Me? What’s your fucking issue? You haven’t even given me time to compliment you because you’re too busy running your mouth lying about how not attracted to me you are. So why don’t you stop running that pretty little mouth if yours for just a few moments while I say what I need to say” He barks at me. He widens his eyes when I open my mouth to speak but shut it promptly.

“Good girl, now let me start at the beginning. You look amazing doll, absolutely breathtaking. The little number is driving me completely insane. Like something straight out of my dreams. I also wanted to say Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I finally asked Sam and he told me you were mad cause of our first mission and how you saved my life and I was too busy looking at another girl. I’m sorry doll. I underestimated our enemy and put us both in danger. I’m also sorry for biting back at ya these past few years. You mean the world to me, even if I don’t act like it. I wanna make it up to you doll, you gonna let me?” He says, grabbing my cheek gently and biting his lip. I bite my lip before pouncing and pressing my lips to his.

“God Barnes, you are so thick. I was fucking jealous. I only want those pretty eyes on me and me only. I can barely control myself when you call me doll or good girl. Drives me nuts.” I gasp out as I kiss him and his neck in attempt to be close to him.

“My beds been dying to meet ya, let’s go” He says dragging me to the elevators and up to his room.

“I knew it, the sexual tension was too high for me to damn breathe” Sam laughs nudging Stark.

“I’ll have Friday shut down coms and cameras to their rooms.” Stark laughs tapping on his watch.

[ohnojustimagine]

Bound to Fall

Taichi/Reader/Douki; 3305 words, smut

Content notes: dubious consent, spanking, slurs, anal.

-

You know you should stop seeing Taichi, because he is, to put it mildly, not a good guy. He is, in fact, a complete and utter creep, but he's unfortunately an exceptionally charming complete and utter creep, and you'll admit, there's something strangely, weirdly attractive about how unashamedly appalling he actually is. Not to mention the complicating factor that he's way, way better in bed than someone so dickish has any right to be.

Which is why you haven't yet managed to make yourself stop seeing him, and also why it's far too late and you should have gone home hours ago, because you're supposed to be up early for work tomorrow, but instead you've spent the evening drinking and being felt up by Taichi in some dive of a bar and now you're back at his place, lying naked on his bed.

He's standing, still fully dressed, and he stares down at you for a minute before taking his phone out of his pocket. You watch him typing, and there's the sound of a text being sent.

"Wow," you say, "I'm so glad I can hold your attention."

He gives you an amused little smirk, setting down his phone as he replies, "Just something I needed to take care of." And you don't ask, because you really don't want to know. But then he kicks off his shoes and climbs up on the bed beside you, lying down with a sigh and kissing you, greedy and messy, just how you like it.

His hands are on your breasts and he moves his mouth lower, teasing one nipple with just the tip of his tongue, sucking it into his mouth as he pinches your other breast, his fingers tight. You feel his teeth on your skin, and you're waiting for him bite down but instead he shifts back up your body, one frustratingly light kiss pressed to your mouth before he licks your ear, and whispers, "Let me tie you up."

"What?" you ask, too distracted to take in what he's said.

He pulls away enough that he can look you in the eye and repeats, "Let me tie you up."

"No," you say immediately. "God, no, I'm not letting you do that."

"So you'd let someone else do it?"

"I have," you reply. "Plenty of times, but you?" You shake your head. "No way."

"Don't you trust me?"

"You know I don't."

"No, you're too smart for that." He laughs, fondly. "Too smart for your own good."

"I thought you liked that about me."

"I do," he says. "It's just that dumb girls are easier to convince to do whatever you want."

"You always convince me," you say, a little more bitter than you intend, because you kind of hate how true that is.

"Yeah, but I have to work for it."

"Doesn't that make it better?"

"Sometimes," he replies with a shrug. "Mostly, it's just annoying."

"You're just lazy."

"I am." He smiles. "So can I tie you up?

"Why do you want to?"

"Because it would be hot."

"It would be," you agree, and yeah, it would.

He licks your face, tongue warm and wet across your cheek. "I'd like seeing you like that," he says, "all helpless, so you can't stop me, so I can do whatever I want to you."

And that makes you instantly suspicious. "Yeah, I kind of get the feeling you've got something specific in mind," you say, looking at him. "That you want to do to me, once I'm tied up, and I'm guessing it's something you know I wouldn't let you do otherwise."

"Maybe," he replies, utterly unrepentant, and for a second you consider leaving, telling him to go fuck himself, but despite your better judgment, you're curious.

You sit up slightly. "What do you usually do to girls once you've gotten them tied up?"

He grins at you. "Anal."

"Well," you say, "you don't have to tie me up to do that."

"No, I don't," he replies. "Not with how much you love my cock in your ass."

"So what is it?" He doesn't say anything, and you sigh in exasperation. "You're not going to tell me, are you?

"No," he answers, with yet another irritatingly smug smirk. "But I promise you'll like it."

And you know you will, because you always do. Taichi might be a huge jerk in almost every possible way, but he always makes sure you have a good time, whatever he does to you.

You roll your eyes, mostly at yourself, because you're pretty sure you're going to regret this, but you say, "Fine."

And the word has barely left your mouth before he's leaning over, opening the drawer of the nightstand and pulling out two lengths of black rope. It's smooth and silky-looking, and as you raise your arms over your head, ready, the tiniest thrill of anticipation rushes through you. You want this, whatever it's going to be, and the not-knowing is somehow part of why you want it, however wrong that is.

But Taichi shakes his head. "No, like this," he tells you, holding his arms wide, and you hesitate for just a second, because you can't help but be aware that you're going to be even more vulnerable, less able to move when tied up in that position, but it's already too late, and so you do as he asks, your arms outstretched, shifting yourself up the bed a little so your hands are against the upright bars of the headboard.

"Good girl," he murmurs, holding one of your wrists gently as he wraps the rope around it, tying it to the headboard. You feel the mattress move as he climbs over you, repeating the action on the other side, binding your other wrist.

You can hear him breathing as he concentrates, and it's actually kind of hot, because Taichi is so rarely serious about anything, and when he is, it's almost as if he's a different person, like you're seeing the real man, the one who's buried somewhere under all that ego and arrogance. But it doesn't last, because he's soon done, and he sits back, looking at you, so very obviously pleased with himself that it's kind of sickening, but you don't protest.

You pull on the ropes, just to be certain, and there's no give in them, none at all, no chance of getting yourself out of this, whatever it's going to be. You're completely at his mercy, and you don't know what it says about you, with how bad that turns you on, but you're not going to think about that.

Not now, anyway, because Taichi's got his hand between your legs, and he's stroking circles over your clit, pushing his fingers inside you, moving them in and out, and while you might be embarrassingly wet, there's something strangely detached about his actions, the way he's going about this. And he's checking, you realize with a sudden chill of apprehension, he's making sure that you're aroused enough for whatever he intends on doing next.

Which should be horrifying, not hot, but you're too into this to care, and he smiles at you. "Now for the best part," he says. He walks out of the room, and he's gone for a good few minutes. You wait impatiently, trying not to squirm, and you're expecting him to come back with some extra-weird toy or something, but then you hear voices, Taichi's and someone else's and shit, you think, all at once understanding exactly what's going on here.

Because Taichi opens the door, strolling back into the room with a dumbass, shit-eating grin plastered across his face, and the guy who follows him in might also be smiling, but you can't tell, because he's wearing a mask, because it's fucking Douki, of course it is, and you can't believe you're so goddamn naive you didn't guess that this was exactly what Taichi had planned.

They both look at you, Taichi smirking, Douki's eyes cool and assessing, the rest of his face hidden, and you yank on the ropes holding your wrists, but they're still tight, holding fast, and god, you could scream at your own stupidity.

"For fuck's sake, Taichi," you spit out. "Why couldn't you just ask me? Why do you have to do it like this?"

"Would you have said yes?" he replies, clearly amused by your reaction.

"No," you say, "I wouldn't. Not with him." You glare in Douki's direction. "No way."

"That's why," Taichi states, simply, as if it's perfectly logical. And you suppose that in some way, it is.

"God, you're such an asshole."

You see Douki's eyes narrow as you speak. "This one," he says to Taichi, "she has a mouth on her. Don't you keep your girls under control?"

"Some of them," Taichi replies, totally unflustered. "This one's more fun if you let her fight it. She always gives in in the end.” He looks down at you. “Don't you, princess?" he says, stroking your leg, and you kick out at him, but he ducks away, laughing.

"She needs a lesson," Douki says, nothing in his voice but a removed-sounding contempt. "Let me teach her."

Taichi smiles at you as he says, "You can do whatever you want to her."

"Fuck you," you growl out at him. "I fucking hate you, I hope you know that."

But he doesn't say anything, and he's still smiling as he watches Douki climb onto the bed, kneeling up beside you, and maybe you should try to kick him, too, but you're guessing that will only make things worse. He looks you up and down with a studied, almost chillingly possessive gaze, then says, quite calmly, "No more talking."

"Why?" you retort, still angry.

"Because you need to learn," he tells you.

You stare up at him for a good, long minute, and you're going to give in, you know you are, but you want to rile him up, piss him off just one more time before you cede all pretense of control. "At least take the mask off," you scoff at him.

"You disrespect me by even asking for that," he hisses out, fire flaring briefly in his eyes, but then he pauses, looking at you more thoughtfully. "But then you know that, don't you?"

And it seems as if that might please him, so he stands up, gesturing at Taichi. "Help me get her on to her front," he says, and Taichi nods.

He unties your hands while Douki holds you down, and you know you've got no chance against the two of them as they turn you over, repositioning you as if you're nothing, merely some object they're readying for use, but you fight it anyway, spiteful enough to want to make them at least work for it, and maybe because you're kind of enjoying it, feeling exactly how strong they are, how useless it is for you to struggle against them. Douki's got a hand pressed down hard in the center of your back, kneeling with one leg across your thighs, and you try and yank your wrist out of Taichi's grasp, but he grips it firmly, laughing as you mutter threats at him, reknotting the ropes until you're again bound in place.

You're panting by the time they're done, whining a little with each exhaled breath, because you hate yourself for letting them do this to do you, for being so fucked up that you actually like it.

Douki straddles your legs, knees tight either side of you so you can't move at all, his hands on your ass, stroking and then squeezing, pinching with sharply rough fingers. But then he sits back slightly, and you wait, impatient, barely able to breathe with the knowledge of what's coming, dreading it and wanting it all at once.

Maybe one minute passes, maybe two, and you try to count the seconds in your head, the silence in the room almost deafening, and just when you think he's not going to, you feel him move, and then his hand lands square on your ass, hard, the sound of it startling, hanging in the air like an echo.

There's the quickest moment of relief as the built-up anticipation dissipates, but then you feel it, the stinging, burning hurt of it and there's no chance for you to react because before you can even gasp, he hits you again, this time on the other side of your ass, just as hard, maybe harder.

And he doesn't stop, doesn't pause, working you over, slap after slap, and you're not used to it like this, as punishment rather than play. When Taichi spanks you, he takes his time, stopping and starting, the discomfort of it contrasted and heightened by gentle caresses, maybe a lingering bite, but it seems Douki has no interest in making this in any way pleasurable for you. This is a man whose only aim is to break you, you realize, and with every single hit your ass becomes even more tender, more sensitive to what he's inflicting on you, building until each slap feels like fire, white-hot with pain.

You bite your lip, so hard you taste blood, determined not to give him the satisfaction of hearing you cry out, but your body starts to move as if instinctively, struggling against him, shoulders straining at the ropes, desperate for any chance of escape. But he only keeps going, without hesitation, his legs squeezed around you like iron, unyielding, holding you down tight.

He hits you again, and then again, until you're sure you can't take it anymore, like this will never end, but then finally you let out a sob, a strangled-sounding noise that feels as if it comes from somewhere deep inside you, some broken, twisted place, and he stops.

"Have you had enough?" he asks you.

"I..." you stutter out, swallowing. "I... don't know." And you don't, you truly don't know what you want.

"Are you going to behave?" he says. "Do as you're told?"

"Yes," you reply, quickly. "Please."

He makes a small noise that you interpret as satisfaction, and then moves off you, sitting on the bed beside you. You breathe out, hoping the worst of it is over, sighing as he strokes up the back of your thighs in a slow caress. When he reaches the top, your legs part to him, as if unconsciously, and it's not until he touches you that you realize how aroused you are, your cunt so wet that his fingers slip inside you with ease.

He laughs, softly. "She likes it," he says.

"She always likes it," Taichi tells him. "She'll give you trouble, but she's always worth it in the end."

You close your eyes, not listening to them, Douki pressing down on your clit, the sensation of it so gentle, so careful it could almost make you forget what's come before, but then his fingers drift up and back. You whine as he touches your ass, the skin still hot and raw, but he pays no attention, spreading you apart with one firm hand, the tip of one finger teasing at your hole.

You breathe in, and Taichi says, "Here."

Douki's hands are gone for a second and you hear slick, wet sounds, but then he's back, his finger sliding into you, now smooth with lube. You flinch, tensing up briefly, before opening yourself to him, arching your back, up wanting more inside you, needing to feel it, because this isn't enough.

"See," Douki tells you. "You know how to be good for for me."

"You don't have to do that," Taichi says. "You can just fuck her, she'll take it."

"Better to make it last," replies Douki. He pushes another finger into you, fucking them in and out of you, and you moan. "This is what you need, isn't it?" he says, softly.

You mewl out a humiliating little note of displeasure as his fingers withdraw from you, and Taichi laughs. "She's such a whore for it," he says. "She just wants cock." You can hear the smile in his voice as he goes on, saying, "Get her ass up, so you can get nice and deep."

Douki doesn't say anything, but he grabs your hips, lifting you up off the bed, and though it's not so easy with the way you're bound, you manage to get your knees up under yourself, legs wide enough to keep your balance.

You fret slightly, body shifting restlessly, waiting, knowing he's preparing himself, but then you feel him, the blunt head of his cock lined up against your hole, beginning to enter you. He's much thicker than Taichi, and he though he goes slow, there's nothing tentative about the motion, no waiting for you to catch up or ease yourself, just one smooth, assertive movement, and you have to breathe out, force yourself not to tense up against him, because you know he won't stop, even if you do.

When he's fully within you, he pauses, just for a second, and you whimper, like something helpless, because he's so big and it's so much, but you love it, this feeling, being stretched out and filled and taken. And then he starts to move, every thrust sharply, viciously hard, his hips hitting the sore, sensitive skin of your ass, the hurt of it all blending into one, overwhelming sensation that keeps going higher.

You're moaning, each sound breaking off into something that's almost a wail, and Taichi's beside you, stroking your hair. "You feel that?" he whispers. "With that big cock in your tight little ass, just how you like it." You gasp as Douki slams into you, again and again, and Taichi practically coos in delight. "You look so pretty," he murmurs. "Oh, baby, I love you to see you like this, all come undone for me."

You hear him breathe in, and he looks up at Douki. "Hit her again," he says. "Just to make sure."

Douki grunts in agreement, pulling out fast enough that you have to hiss in pain, but then he's bringing his hand down on your ass; one, two, three, four, counted off in your head, and you're crying, tears running down your face, choked-out sobs trapped in your throat, but you never want this to stop. He slaps you, one more time, then shoves his cock roughly back inside you, and you can tell he's about to come, fucking into you with increasing speed, uninterested in anything but his own pleasure, one last thrust as he finishes himself, moaning, the sound of it deep, as if resonating through you.

You exhale, shaking as his cock slides out of you, but Taichi's already behind you. "You want some more?" he asks, and it seems it's not a question that requires any answer from you, because he's guiding his cock into you, and fuck, but it hurts, and yet you don't care. And he doesn't go easy on you, pulling your hips back into him with every forward movement, thumbs digging into your bruised skin, muttering under his breath until he starts to come.

It doesn't take long, and when he's done, you're left empty and aching, your cunt throbbing with frustrated need as you whine for more, desperate to be satisfied. "You really are a slut," Taichi says, and perhaps that's affection in his voice, or perhaps you're just so far gone it's what you have to believe, to delude yourself into thinking that any of this is in any way okay. "You want to get her off?" he asks.

"No," replies Douki, firmly decisive, "not yet."

"Later, maybe."

"When she's earned it." Douki runs his hand over your ass, pinching you, and you wince, yelping quietly in pain. "Yes," he says, and you shiver. "We're just getting started."

[marlcasters]

Girl... preach. I thought I was the only one who disliked D&D MC. I think she acts like an entitled spoiled little bitch. And the fact that we had the options to call Ernest all kind of names in the beggining, like “arrogant and vain” when all he did was not jumping on her dick (figuratively) right away made me hate her even more, now that I’m replaying. And her remarks about how Ernest’s character would be quite a challenge for every wife, considering his history with his wife is soo annoying.

D&D MC is funny I love how much of a dumbass she can be sometimes but idk the way she treats people kind of puts me off sometimes. I didn’t really think of the Ernest part because he DID almost run both MC and Briar over in chapter 1 but I guess her assumptions are what get her into trouble.

I have to say I don’t agree with the Duke part, his intentions towards MC were clear from the start, he wanted to force himself on her and it wasn’t alright at all. He got what he deserved.

She was little naive in book 1. She thought everyone would like and respect that the Earl’s long lost daughter would come back, it’s really not the case. I get that she’s young but like????????

Honestly all the LIs are too good for MC .

Her new title definitely went to her head though, she’s being really arrogant in book 3. “I’M the villain in this story?!” How about the fact a kid is being brainwashed ????? How about the fact that this kid is going to find out his dad was an evil man who’s going to get beheaded???? How about the fact the kid is in there with someone who’s capable of murder?? How about the fact this kid is being USED??? I understand she has no reason to care about Percival but like idk get your head out of your ass, consider that people have different POVs ?? It’s no wonder Henrietta betrayed her, it’s just too easy??? The nice girl act doesn’t always work. “You’re a guest at MY house” how fucking dare you? You came out of literally nowhere and stole someone’s home (because that IS what she did and I will not take critcism for it) and then you have the audacity as if they’re a guest???

IDK I know she’s gonna win at the end and eventually everyone’s gonna bow down to her (which btw is gonna  piss me off) but idk maybe let her learn something?? For example, not everyone has to stop living their lives JUST to help her??

The pre-duel chapter pissed me off as well “simply don’t fail” , lmfao bitch they’re about to die for you, you heartless bitch- I-

Anyways her character is pissing me off more  and more every chapter.

The reason they didn’t let Briar be a second MC was because they knew people would like Briar more than the actual MC (not really PB just didn’t think about the possibility) . Period.

[scrawnydutchman]

Paradise P.D: Animated Series Review

I’ve reviewed a lot of animated - and live action - shows and movies on my blog. Nearly everything I’ve felt the need to comment on has been seen in a positive light. I don’t shy away from harsh criticism nor do I actively avoid notably poor content; it just so happens that the things I’m most interested in discussing are things I have mainly positive comments on. Paradise PD has come along to break the mold. The genuine disgust I have for this series is a first for me. I hate this show. This is quite possibly the worst show I’ve ever given a complete watch. The characters are either heinously cruel or insultingly generic. The premise is cookie cutter and derivative as hell. The humor is forced, predictable and just depressing more often than funny. The animation . . . . oh God, the animation. I’ve had non flavored rice cakes with more taste than this show. It’s like anti-creativity. Even as I’m typing this Ii’m getting riled up just thinking about it again. Alright, let me calm down. Let’s break this show down piece by piece, starting with the writing.

Writing

*ugh, the animation in these gifs is terrible. I’ll get to it when I get to it.*

Synopsis: Kevin Crawford is an aspiring young police officer who is determined to prove himself to his dad, Chief Randall Crawford of the Paradise PD. Chief Crawford has a hard time trusting his son because of a firearms accident that occurred when Kevin was very young (the less details you know about that the better) but his ex wife mayor Karen Crawford forces Randall to bring Kevin into the department anyway. Kevin thus joins a motley crew of  . . .ahem . . . “”””hilarious””””” cops including Gina; the badass uber violent super cop who’s both the sex appeal of the show and has a fetish for morbidly obese men (yes, seriously), Gerald Fitzgerald; the Cleveland Brown of this show who’s basically just a well mannered  token black guy, Dusty Marlow; the morbidly obese innocent cop whom Gina constantly harasses sexually (and yet when male characters harass her on the show she threatens to beaten them for pervy comments, so . . . hypocrite), Stanley Hopson; an elderly officer whose whole schtick is being senile and doing gross shit . .  and finally Brian Griffin-I mean Bullet; the canine unit who’s also a drug addict . . . and being a drug addict is basically his whole shtick. They get into a bunch of wacky shenanigans, a lot of gross stuff ensues, yadda yadda yadda

So admittedly, this isn’t a bad premise for a show of this style. If Brooklyn 99 has proven anything it’s that a police department is a great and refreshing setting for a sitcom with tons of potential for jokes as well as diverse characters having great chemistry with each other. Plus it’s an archetype I don’t see very much of (I’d like to point out that I consider this different from the “buddy cop” archetype which is literally everywhere, because rather than focus on two cops it involves an entire precinct). This show is kind of like if Seth Macfarlane made a Family Guy spinoff centered around Joe Swanson (except that sounds a million times more amazing). But while Paradise PD sounds like a good concept for a show on paper, it’s execution is poorer than poor. Ironically for being such an off-the-beaten-path premise for a sitcom the show doesn’t take very much advantage of it. It’s not like the case in every episode is particularly interesting and it’s certainly not like Archer or Brooklyn 99 where the humor comes from the mundane nature of the job that nobody really talks about (filing a lot of paper work and performing basic job duties). Instead it’s premises about banging police cars that have AIs that behave like abusive girlfriends . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a father not understanding his child’s hobbies . . .which is a premise we’ve seen before. Or it’s about a fighter being overly confident in the ring only for his cohorts to discover he’s rigged to lose in the next fight . . . which is a premise we’ve seen before. Here lies the biggest problem of this show: it’s so rinse and repeat it’s insulting. For every episode this series has at the moment I guarantee the Simpson’s  has done it and has done it better. Or Bob’s Burgers has done it. Or Archer has done it. Or Brooklyn 99 has done it. Hell, Family Guy and American Dad are the most comparable shows to this besides Brickleberry for obvious reasons and as much as I have distaste for those shows even they do these recycled premises more justice than Paradise PD does. Basically the only thing giving this show a real identity is it’s intense gross out visuals which, given this shows shockingly limited animation style, gets stale very quickly. But what is Paradise PD missing that all those shows have in common (besides maybe Family Guy/American Dad)? The answer of course is likable characters.

Characters

*it’s worth mentioning that the intro is the only bit of decent animation this show has. In fact it’s deceivingly good. Be patient . . . I’m getting there.*

If the synopsis I gave at the beginning is any indication it’s that every character suffers from one of two problems; they’re either intensely unlikable or are bland overly used archetypes . . . sometimes both. Gerald Fitzgerald, Dusty Harlow, Stanley Hopson and Bullet are all archetypes you can find in every animated sitcom ever made. It’s the token black guy, the morbidly obese dumbass, the senile old man and the drug addict/self centered misogynist. They all have one joke and one joke only dedicated to each of them. They are walking talking punchlines. So is every character in this show, though everyone else to a lesser extent. Gina is my favorite because her backstory episode is the only one where I felt even a little bit intrigued about how one of these assholes came to be. Our leading man Kevin is a bland standin. He’s just an overly naive, wide eyed kid with a dream. He’s an empty husk for literally any kind of viewer to step in (except for women when it comes to the love interest stuff). The chief is an angry, pompous asshole. In fact every character is just a horrible human being. Even characters that are either overly innocent or are meant to be good natured like Kevin or Dusty are constantly selfish or arrogant in some way. I get that that’s just the way the show is written comedically and in truth all comedy is rooted in the flawed. It’s why a lot of sitcom scenarios are written around characters acting selfishly or stupidly. But there’s being flawed and then there’s . . . being relentlessly cruel. It makes it hard to root for any of these characters in the end, especially since the show also occasionally tries to have a moral center and because . . .well . . . y’know . . . everyone is bland as shit.

Cast Performance

So this is by far the best aspect of the show and the number one thing it has going for it. Why? Because the show has a cast that’s .  . . depressingly a bunch of all stars. Tom Kenny, Spongebob himself, voices the chief and he does a great angry authoritative father. Grey Griffin, the actress behind such favorites as Daphne from Scooby Doo, Frankie from Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Vicki from Fairly Odd Parents and Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender, is the mayor and also turns in a great performance for what she has to portray. Not to mention the occasional guest like John Dimaggio and Tara Strong. If you’re any fan of voice acting chances are you’ll find a favorite of yours in this cast if not a handful of them. I say this is depressing because all of these people could do so much better. I get it, a paycheck is a paycheck, but . . . . imagine the immensely creative and stunning projects they could have been a part of instead. If a contract with Netflix is what you want, hit up Alex Hirsch! He’s signed on with them now and I bet he’s got something worthwhile! There’s not a whole lot to say about the rest of the performances, mainly because again, it’s hard to care about any of these characters.

Visuals (Animation, Design, Composition, Visual Storytelling, ETC.)

sigh . . . .okay . . . let’s talk about the animation. Before I go into it I just want to be real and sentimental for a second. I’m an animator. I just recently broke into the industry by working with Copernicus Studios . . . and it’s been nothing but a sincere pleasure. I’ve learned more about animation and Toon Boom in 4 months than I ever learned in 4 years of freelancing. It put into perspective just how much thought and effort goes into even the most minimal of shows. It’s a popular trend to shit on professionally animated content for looking such a way or moving in such a way but if those people only knew the countless hours and passion that goes into even just a couple of seconds of footage they’d never talk shit about these shows ever again. Not only that, but I’m an admin for an animation study group on Facebook with thousands of members from all over the world. Animators from every country and every skill level share their work for constructive feedback. Through this I’ve met many people who work in the industry . . .including someone who worked on Paradise PD. And I know them to be among the most skilled and masterful animators on the page. For all of these reasons, I will NEVER call animators lazy or unskilled if they produced a show like this. It’s typically the result of a certain type of direction or method of moving the production pipeline along. I have no doubt on my mind that every animator who worked on this show is wonderfully skilled and will do well in their careers going forward.

But this show does not demonstrate that. Far from it. This show goes out of it’s way to be lazy. It cuts so many corners they’ve made a perfect circle of hell. Just take a look at most of the gifs I’ve posted in this review. Notice the popping of proportions and lines in moving pieces. Notice certain features like noses or eyes that move around for no damn reason at all. Look at features like eyebrows where there’s no easing or seamless transition or any basic understanding of the 12 principles of animation aside from perhaps arcs. Just watch a couple of seconds of this show and count how little frames are in every motion. If you told me this show was made in Go! Animate I would believe you. This makes Family Guy look like Studio Ghibli. Maybe this show could have been more pleasant to look at if it had vouched for motion keyframes instead of what appears to be the occasional stop motion keyframe (users of Toon Boom or Flash will know what I mean) but even then there’s nothing to look at really. Add to that the eyesore of a colour scheme, the uninspired character designs that if I put them in silhouette you would not be able to tell what show it’s from, the absolutely barebones backgrounds that look like early 2000s Newgrounds cartoon sets and the unimaginitive shot composition that consists almost entirely of wide shots and medium wide shots and you have what can hardly even be defined as animation by mainstream televisions standards. The last show I reviewed was Matt Groening’s Disenchantment and while I had my issues with that shows animation, at least they were only errors a trained eye could see in a show that was otherwise appealing. Paradise PD is just a tragedy. The only positive comment I can make about the animation is that the FX department did a great job animating the blood and the boogers and any type of nasty body liquid . . . .and I am depressed that that is my one positive comment.

Audio (Soundtrack, Sound Mixing, Sound FX, ETC.)

*In case you thought I was joking about one of the episode summaries I gave earlier*

Like most of the stuff I review, the audio isn’t particularly notable in this show. There’s no memorable soundtracks to speak of. The sound mixing is fine. That’s really all there is to say. I’ll be honest; I’ll talk about remarkable soundtracks in this section or clever/bad sound mixing when I can, but I mainly just include this section so I can score what i’m reviewing in a way that adds to a 10.

Conclusion

Paradise PD is the worst show I have ever given a review for and quite possible the worst show I’ve ever made an effort to sit down and watch. Almost nothing is redeemable about it. It’s the lowest common denominator for animation and it unsuccessfully trades any hint of originality for unfunny shock humor. It fails not because of missteps, but because of a refusal to make the necessary steps in the first place.

Writing - 0.5/2- Below Average

Characters - 0.5/2- Below Average

Cast Performance - 1.5/2 - Above Average

Visuals - 0.5/2 - Below Average

Audio - 1/2 - Average

4 out of 10 - My most hated show thus far.

[gaeidthesnake-blog]

Building on the OC Rivals from Earlier - Part 1 of 5

So, earlier, I posted a prompt with a lot of questions about who was on what end of some opposite sides of things (you can find it here:  https://gaeidthesnake.tumblr.com/post/174204870400/oc-rivals-which-pair-of-your-characters-fits) Buuut, after seeing a mutual’s responses... I’mma go into more detail with them. This is gonna cover 1-5. I’ll do more later. 1. Ivaalik’s the leader of the Delourge at the time of the Milandrian Revolution. Like most Delourge elites, he’s a sadistic bastard who goes out of his way to be evil. He might not be as creative as some of the other Delourge Elites, but that’s why he sometimes has them in contests to see who can torture someone in the most satisfying way to him. Joles, on the other hand... He’s just so fucking pure. He’s kinda like Son Goku, and by that I mean Team FourStar’s version of Son Goku. Maybe he’s not as foolishly naive or uneducated (not that Joles had much of an education aside from what his dad taught him), and also definitely not as OP’d, and maybe he’s a much better public speaker, he’s but still just full of kindness and pure goofy charm... This is like the one time a Parodeshi Deity got outdone by another character at a trait in their domain, but holy shit, Joles is just so nice, even Anashâr can’t compete, and she’s the goddess of healing, generosity, kindness, and humility! 2. Albren’s the tallest, at 8′9″. Moridan’s the shortest in the cast so far, at 3′7″. 3. Now, this is where Anashâr reclaims her title as the best - or she would, if she’s weren’t so damn humble. She doesn’t care about fame or fortune, respect or anything else people take pride in. She just wants to do her job of helping people. Ivaalik’s so arrogant, the arrogance of him and the rest of the Delourge forces was actually the weakness the rebels exploited to stand a fighting chance! He thought he was untouchable. He thought he could just instantly squash any organized resistance before it got anywhere. He was so sure of himself, that we managed to build up a standing army, convince the Plikt mercenaries to switch sides and fight against the Delourge to preserve their honor, and take almost all of the territory southeast of the interior mountains before he even realized there was an active, organized rebellion going on. I was kinda considering Brigrada as most arrogant on account of her seeing herself as the strongest warrior in the land, but honestly, even she knows she’s not invincible. 4. Atenie might know how to take care of a wide variety of injuries and make sure an army’s in fighting shape, but her “bedside manner” either involves being focused exclusively on healing the injury, or chewing you out for whatever dumbass mistake you made to get injured in the first place, if applicable. She’s all pragmatism, and doesn’t waste her time on frivolities. Even in her relationship with Joles, she’s as blunt as her tower shield - even when they get intimate. When Joles tried to confess his love to her with a poem he wrote, she was just like “stop trying to woo me, I already like you, now get back to the task at hand!” When they “did it” for the first time, she just approached Joles, said “You. Me. Bed. Now.” You know what they say... “Opposites Attract.” Ro, on the other hand, gets really excited about a lot of things, and was trying to get close to me even before she revealed to me that I was her “big brother.” And when Drayven’s secret about being a fan of an old series of Calmeccanhi “moving picture” relics he found that showed the story about a bunch of brightly-colored cartoon equines (you know what I’m talking about), Ro helped him feel more comfortable about his interests, and gave him a fellow fan to relate to. 5. Like I said before, I honestly don’t know a lot about the near-mute hermit serving as a spy for the Drakes, but from what I do know, he’s just pure asexual, aromantic, and so on. Even Ro’s platonic affection falls just short of romance - I kinda get the feeling she wants a relationship, but doesn’t feel any attraction to anyone in that way, or like she wants to feel the emotions of a relationship without actually being in one... it’s kinda hard to describe. But from what I can tell of Moridan, he’s just a complete celibate. Im-Tinar, on the other hand? She’s the Parodeshi goddess of beauty, art, love, and sex. Albren’s a moderately close second, but even he can’t beat Im-Timar.

[sanzoumon]

*sees someone whining about their birthday and becoming an adult because adults are evil and dirty so clearly it's only a matter of time before they also become evil*

(Rant)

Me: That's called growing up, babe. Your black and white naive thinking stuffs adults into the category of "evil" because you're desperate for something to blame your problems on. Adults have responsibilities ergo everything bad is always their fault, so you can pin the worlds problems on them. You've got a fucking Peter Pan Complex and I can't wait until life kicks you in the ass and you have that personal revelation where you admit to what a dumbass you used to be and then humble yourself before your newfound wisdom. Because it will be one of the best things to ever happen in your life, the day when you realize you were ignorant and that you have to grow up - when you can admit your ignorance and arrogance and stupidity, without making excuses, then you'll have matured as a person.

Ahhh, but you fear maturing. After all, now you're part of what you considered to be the group responsible for all the worlds problems.

Geez, not even the KND were so radical - even they realized most adults were relatively good, even if they faced adult villains a lot. Then again, they boot you out when you turn 13, not when you stop being a teen.

Good God, you can be whatever kind of adult you want to be. Because of your ignorance tho, you just think it's good vs. evil, it escapes you that you could just be a good person because you choose to be.

Adulthood is great like that, you're responsible for your own life. If you become "evil" it's you're fault. And you're no saint as it is anyway. It's not as if you're jumping from toodler to a grown ass adult, you're a young adult.

Ah, well, you know once when I was young and ignorant someone told me that one day I'd look back at my old posts / opinions online and realize how ignorant I sounded. At the time, I laughed at such a ridiculous idea, because I was adamant that I was right.

But you know what? They were right! Of course she was also a Grade A smug ass bitch so I never gave her the satisfaction of confirming she was right, but she was still right. And that's okay. Looking back I realize what a pompous little bitch I used to be, but I was convinced I knew the secrets to life, that I was always right. And you're thinking "that's you, not me, that won't ever happen to me" or whatever. But it will. You'll be embarrassed that you were ever so damned stupid but you'll accept that it's in the past and realize that you've grown for the better.

When you reflect on the you of now in a few years, you'll see just how bad off you really are right now and will be thankful for whatever event forced you to change your way of thinking.

Or not. You could stagnate. In which case, well you'll live a monotonous and terrible life bound by juvenile thinking. Maybe real late in life you'll grow, but the longer you wait - the less likely it is to happen.

This damn websight is stagnating the growth of an entire generation. It's so sad. Some of y'all could have the drive and ambition to do great things but instead you'll just waste away your lives complaining like small children who can only get things by crying and pissing their pants.

Adulthood is freedom, with the price of responsibility. Childhood is security, with the price of ignorance.

Everyone wants to be be weak and stupid so they'll be protected by the strong and smart - but at the same time they berate the strong and smart.

You want adults to protect kids even tho you claim adults are evil. Stupid. Become the kind of adult you wanna be, free yourself from the shackles of childhood. Embrace adulthood, love how you want.

But I get it, change is scary. You'll learn to deal with it and during which you'll grow as a person. Funny how being challenged forces you to adapt and grow, isn't it? Pfft.