#idk what changed but it's been pretty clear out this week and the days are getting longer

[autumnoakes]

me: i don't think i have seasonal depression, at least not for winter. i enjoy the colder weather and i don't understand why people are bemoaning the shorter days. i like the nighttime???

me: *has a random and unexplained 6 month depressive period, starts craving summer weather, and then starts to perk up once the sun comes out and the days start getting longer*

me: hm. okay.

[moonydustx]

To belong to you

requests | mastelist Pairing: Trafalgar D. Law x F! Reader Summary: sequel of A not so funny story. In this one, we see Law dealing with a somewhat stubborn reader, while he can barely deal with his feelings. Warnings: fluffy, a little hotter at the end, violence, Law exposing his feelings (this will always be a warning for me). W/C: 3.5K a/c: tried not to take so long to produce, but I ended up getting carried away by the text. Regarding the smutty, I'm thinking about bringing it to a third part, I believe this one was too big. Hope you like.

requested by anon: ok ok now m waiting for a sequel with an overprotective-clingy-lover emo boy Law who keeps reader at his sight❣️ ~ maybe a smutty? idk just give me some more Law

Part 1 | Part 3 (NSFW)

A week, two days and a few hours.

For a week, two days and a few hours Law's sleep became scarcer - which seemed impossible - at the same time, he seemed to have found a new hobby. You.

Since the fateful day he discovered what he had done, even if unconsciously, Law had made it his duty to be your support point. At the same time, even though he dedicated himself to repairing this mistake, nightmares continued to haunt the little sleep he still had. Some days, it was as if he only revisited the afternoon he saw you hurt. In others, it was as if he was fully aware of what he had done.

You didn't complain about all that attention. Of course, the guilt was clear in his eyes and you wished you could lift such a burden from him, but Law's temperament was already known as irreducible, it was almost impossible for you to become the person who would change that.

Sleep had also left you aside that night. Maybe because you were anxious, the next morning you would be emerging on the next island and you would finally see the sunlight again. Maybe your mind kept playing tricks and unlike the nightmares that Law had, you kept having dreams that were closer and closer to him.

What you had left that night was to catch up on your studies. The small stack of books piled up next to your small green notebook while you had been sitting on one of the cafeteria benches for half an hour facing the same calculation.

"I didn't expect to find company at this hour." Law appeared at the cafeteria entrance. The same tired eyes, but the gentle tone in his voice pleased you. "Sleepless?"

"I've been in bed for a long time this week, Captain. What about you, sleepless?"

"I ended up distracted by reading. I just came to get something to eat." he walked past you, heading over to one of the counters. "Did you remember to drink your tea?"

"Perhaps." you just responded and you could hear him grumble in response. It only took a few minutes for the cup to appear in front of him. "Do I really need to take this? It's horrible!"

"It's a medicine, its function is to be horrible, but to end up curing you." surprising you, he sat next to you. Next to it, a plate with some onigiris. You just looked at Law and your horrible cup of tea. "What?"

"How can such a pretty drink, full of flowers, be so horrible?"

"Drink it." in a way, you knew that his impatient tone at that moment wasn't serious at all. "I promise to reward you."

"Saying it like that, I feel like a child." you grumbled, taking a sip of your drink and trying to avoid the disgusted look on your face. Law, unlike you, seemed to enjoy his late dinner. "Next time, please give me poison. I will die happy."

"Good girl, congratulations." he said, in a cynical tone. Even so, the words pointed to another place in your mind. "I bet it wasn't that horrible."

"Said the one who's gorging himself on onigiri." With your complaint, Law just stretched out the piece he had already taken a bite of.

Maybe your intrusive thoughts, maybe it was just the desire to get the horrible taste out of your mouth, but you accepted what he offered.

She's just taking a piece. Law's mind looped through the seconds you bit the food. The lack of sleep must be playing tricks on him, making him imagine things he shouldn't. Are your lips as soft as they seem?

"So. What are you studying?" Law's brain went blank, searching for the first random topic that crossed his mind.

"Blood. In fact, I took a calculation to do and ended up getting lost. In the book it seems so much simpler."

"Let me see." He set the plate aside and approached your notebook.

Gray eyes looked attentively at each written number and you were busy analyzing it. The smell that came from him was the same as the t-shirt you had worn that day, his eyes had clear dark circles beneath them and even though it wasn't perfectly done, the little beard he had seemed to outline his face and seemed to match the dark tone. of the small piece of his tattoo that showed.

"So…" he began, pointing to the notebook. "Here, you're taking the wrong route. To calculate this type of transfusion, first you have to base it on the patient's weight and then use this formula. See."

You were too distracted by him and he was too distracted by the silly calculation you were so lost in. When he turned to ask if you understood, the only thing he found were your eyes watching him. Just a few centimeters away, his eyes danced between yours and your lips, wondering if the action would be hasty. Maybe it wasn't ideal to take the risk.

"Nerd." You muttered, letting out a small laugh.

"Just smarter than you." he replied, pulling away a little. "Take one more."

"Thank you captain!"

The night passed faster than you expected. Accompanied by Law, you spent most of the night redoing some exercises while he helped you, or at least watched you. And even though sleep hit your body, it was hard to close your eyes and sleep after spending so much time with him.

The morning came quickly and as usual on the days you emerged, you and Bepo were standing just staring at the sun on your skin. Some other companions were already beginning to disembark.

"I found you." Law's voice brought them both out of their little sunbath. "You take care of buying food."

"Ay captain!" Bepo reached out his hand, picking up the berries.

"You." He turned around, looking at you seriously. "No running, no heavy lifting, no long walks."

"All right, boss." you saluted, just to annoy him and watched him leave, without giving much more explanation.

The afternoon passed quickly in the small village. At least in the commercial part of the village, everything seemed very busy and colorful, as well as having huge taverns that you would definitely go to.

In addition to you and Bepo, the two also dragged Clione along for the task, which wasn't enough. Despite the captain's clear warning, you managed to convince Bepo that it was just an idle worry, which ended with you carrying some bags under your back.

"Need help?" the bear climbed Polar Tang first, reaching out to you.

As soon as you appeared in the Heart Pirates captain's field of vision, you knew you were in trouble. The blue dome enveloped you and soon the weight lifted from your back. Instead, two small flowers appeared on the ground.

"It seems the two of them decided to ignore my warning." Law grumbled as you picked up the two colorful branches that were at your feet.

"My fault, there's no need to fight him." you took the lead, going to where Law was standing. Around him, in addition to the bags he had taken from you, were a few small bouquets of plants and flowers, all as colorful as the city they had just visited. "What are these?"

"Just a few missing ingredients can become medicine, tea, ointments." he bent down, plucking a small yellow flower and handing it to you. "Something tells me your favorite is this one."

"Oh, God no." the image of last night's horrible tea came to mind. you held the flower up to your nose. The sweet smell was delicious, but just remembering the taste made your stomach turn. "It's so beautiful, but so bad." you made to return it, seeing him raise his hand and deny it.

"It is not necessary."

"Thanks." you laughed, pinning the small flower to the zipper of your jumpsuit.

"Captain." two humming voices came towards you. "What do you think about going to a bar today?"

"You can go." he responded to Shachi and Penguim, who were not convinced and joined in a chorus of please. "I'm not in the mood."

"Please, Captain. The town seems nice, I bet the bars are too." you joined the other two, interceding.

You knew that Law wasn't the most sociable person in the world, but if there was something you could boast about, it was your power of persuasion - which you hadn't yet realized only worked on him.

"Okay, okay." he gave up, seeing the three of you cheer up and Bepo shouting happily in the background. "However, no alcohol for you."

"Yet?" you grumbled, but his expression already made the answer clear. Your power of persuasion wouldn't work this time.

You weren't the type to take alcohol seriously enough for it to bother you, just going to a new place would be good enough for you. As soon as night fell, you started getting ready. As much as you wanted to wear something lighter, you didn't know how comfortable you would feel showing the scar on your leg, even though it was already partially healed, it wasn't such a pretty sight. You put on pants and a simple, comfortable blouse and headed towards the bar with Ikkaku.

Law watched you from afar. Unlike most of the women there, you weren't balancing on thin heels or with a face so adorned with colors that made your real expression disappear. You were you.

He saw you sit at one of the tables with the other companions. Everyone with drinks in front of them, except you. He could use some alcohol on him to give him the courage he lacked, but he knew it would be unfair. Ignoring the judgmental looks, he ordered two glasses of juice and took them to the table, looking for a place to sit.

"No vodka?" Ikkaku looked at the cup in front of you and the cup in front of the captain. "This is new."

"I'm banned until further notice." you replied, raising your glass to toast your captain. "At least someone had compassion on me."

"So cute." Ikkaku cheered and you surreptitiously tried to elbow her. "So, I saw people playing in the background. She can play, right captain?"

"As long as she doesn't bet Polar Tang." he replied, a shy smile on his lips. As much as he didn't admit it out loud, something woke up in him when the two of you were in some way related. "I think betting a mink could make some good money." he turned to Bepo, who immediately complained.

"Never!" you stood up, placing yourself next to Ikkaku and picking up your glass. "I'll be right back, I'll take the money from some idiots." you smiled, turning your face towards your captain. A soundless thank you left your lips, as you pointed to the glass in your hands.

Law tried to disguise it, tried to ignore your presence. It was as if your body had some kind of magnet, which made it find you in the midst of so many people who crowded into that bar.

The first time he looked at you, you and Ikkaku were side by side singing something that he couldn't hear from where he was, around you some other people were singing and others were playing cards. He could see some looks that bothered him. Why did they look at you like that? Law could feel the repulsion of those men, even from a distance.

The second time, the two of you seemed to be dealing the cards. A man next to you, one of the same ones who was looking at you, seemed to whisper something in your ear that seemed to have offended you. The expression soon disappeared from your face, returning to a calm expression. At that moment, Law could feel his body tingle and had to suppress the urge to make the man's head roll off his body, even though he had no idea what he had said to you.

The third time, the only thing Law saw was your head being pushed against the table, after that he only saw red and pure hatred in front of him. The other crew members with whom he shared the table only noticed a small playing card slowly fall towards the upholstery.

This time you hadn't stolen in the game but apparently some bastard decided you were hiding some cards. You felt your head against the table and you could hear Ikkaku swear. You could easily get out of there and reach for your dagger hidden in your boot, you could also trip and see the guy hit his own head against the table. You knew you wouldn't need to do anything when you saw a blue dome appear in front of you.

Unlike the many times you had seen him fight, Law didn't use his sword or his devil fruit. His hands reached for the man, twisting his arm and slamming his head against the table, ten times harder than what had been done to yours. The other man, who was restraining Ikkaku, immediately released her.

"What happened?" he asked and you knew the question was directed at you, even though he kept pinning the man against the table.

"They thought we were stealing in the game."

"He said we would pay for what we stole from him with money or anything else we could offer." Ikkaku added, as you stood up and untied your clothes.

"The bastard likes to threaten others." Law muttered and within seconds, the man's head rolled on the table, as he screamed desperately, not understanding what had happened. Looking around, Law reached for a small knife and immediately stuck it to the side of the man's head. "Next time I see you, I won't need to use any power to rip your head off."

Law walked away, his eyes immediately searched for you. You had your back to him, checking to see if your friend had gotten hurt.

"Are you two okay?" he walked closer, searching for any signs of injury on the two of you. At that point in the fight, the entire crew was already gathered alongside.

"It's okay captain, it was just that asshole. The others tried to help us." Ikkaku explained.

"Understood." He tried to calm things down, still thinking about what that stupid guy could have done if, for some moment, you had left his sight.

"For today, that's enough." you sighed, trying to give your best smile, which with all the stress caused, seemed impossible. "I'm going back to Polar Tang. I think today's activities tired me out."

You lied, blatantly. You weren't tired, on the contrary. The whole fight, Law showing up to defend you, that had lit you up. The only question that was going through your head was where Law's anger had come from. It wasn't the first time you ended up fighting with someone in a bar and every time Law would just laugh a little or if things got out of hand, He gave a little fright to anyone who even touched his crew. Today the gray eyes that accompanied you so much appreciate you full of fury.

"I'll join you. You guys, enjoy." Law took out some berries and placed them in Ikkaku's hand. "The next rounds are on me."

Bepo made to accompany you two, but was stopped by his friends. They seemed to see the entire situation clearer than the two of you ever would.

The walk to the submarine was quiet, much quieter than you were used to. Despite the beat, your head didn't hurt besides the fact that you saw Law analyze every inch of you after the argument.

Even after entering Polar Tang, silence prevailed between the two of you, it bothered you a lot more than you tried to show. Taking much smaller steps than Law's, you tried to catch up to him before he locked himself in his room and then you'm will only see him the next morning.

"Hang on!" You tried to follow him and even though you couldn't see his face, you knew he had heard you. "Captain!"

"I don't want to talk about it right now." he replied, stopping in front of his room.

"I am sorry but no." you replied and understanding that perhaps you had a discussion too serious to have there in the middle of the corridor, you just indicated the door behind him. "Let's just talk, just five minutes of your attention, okay?"

He could feel the blood boil in his veins, the words burned in Law's throat. Damn that damn bar, damn all the things that still haunted his mind. He had fallen, and fallen hard.

"I understand." you leaned the door behind you, keeping your arms crossed. "I understand all your concern, I mean, you have been carrying a burden that is not yours."

"No?" he laughed, almost cynically. "I won't apologize for that."

"What about all that at the bar?" you asked, approaching him. "About almost killing a guy over a card game."

"He was hurting you." the words came out of his mouth, bluntly.

You stopped a few centimeters away from him, watching him. You wanted to sound intimidating, you wanted to impose yourself on him, but it was him. It was the serious eyes looking down on you, the posture, the smell that emanated from him. As much as your brain tried to deny it, something in you liked - almost needed - Law to protect you.

"You know I'm not that fragile, right?" You held his arms, looking for even the slightest reaction. "I don't break so easily, if that's what makes you worry about me so much."

Law wished he had more time to plan, he wished he hadn't been as close to you as he was last week. That cat and mouse hunt between the two of you worked for a long time. It worked when he watched someone talk for too long over you and he chose to leave his jealousy aside, it worked when he watched you fight so many times and chose not to intrude, it worked when he saw your curves marked by any other clothes you wore ,except the crew's overalls, and he had to try his best not to look. It worked, sentence passed, something left aside.

"I like you." he began, the words coming out like relief from his lips. "I like you and to be honest, I don't know how to deal with it."

"Why not?"

"We are pirates, I have enemies, people who can use this to target me." he pointed to the space between the two of you. "I don't know if I can handle this, damn, I could barely hold my own against a drunk at the bar. I like you too much to risk you."

Just like the day he had seen you injured, his hands found your face, holding it as if it were the most precious thing Law had ever laid his hands on.

"I have a proposal." your hands found his, caressing them. "Here, in this room, just here it will be Law and me. Without all the worries of a captain, without all the responsibilities of a crew member, without fears. Just you and me, one belonging to the other. No one needs to know."

You wanted to say that maybe it wouldn't work and that maybe the two of you would just come out of this story more broken. You could also say that you would understand if he hated the idea. Before any words found the sound of the room, your lips were stolen by his.

None of Law's thoughts matched what he was feeling. Your lips giving way so he could taste a little of you. Your hands left his and spread out over the small gap in the open shirt he wore. Every inch of your body still seemed small for him to explore, his hands went down to your waist, almost merging his body with yours. He could stay there, in that room trapped with you for days. Damn the life of a captain, damn all the rationality he valued so much, you were more than enough.

"So…" you moved a few millimeters away from him, looking for just enough space to catch your breath.

One of his hands went up to your chin, one of his fingers running over your swollen and red lips in an almost sinful caress. How long did he wait to be like that?

One of his hands tangled in your hair, gently squeezing it so you could give him space. Law's lips - now warmer than when they first touched you - ran down your neck. You wouldn't take Law for an avid lover, but the way he held your body to his said completely the opposite.

"I accept your proposal." His low voice whispered next to your ear. His mind took him to dark places, but a little rationality still kept him lucid. "But maybe, maybe we should stop for now."

"No, we shouldn't." Serene eyes looked at him, but the malice in your words was clear.

"Yeah, we shouldn't."

[hotnbloodied]

I know you will probably ignore this but can you try doing Yan farmer x hero reader? (I guess an iskei trip or whatever idk I just wanna know if you could try and build with this idea)

I would never ignore a request, if I couldn't do it I'd let you know! But thank you so much for your request it was very fun to do! I hope that you enjoy~ ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚HB˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Yan!Farmer X Isekai'd Reader

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

TW: implied non-con, obsessive personality, controlling behavior, toxic relationships.

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!

It’s been a month since you found yourself in a world very much like the mmorpg game you used to play back when you were on earth. The first week was extremely rough, in the first three days you were in a frenzy trying to get your wearabouts about you. A couple of knights found you and were actually pretty helpful in guiding you to the church where the nuns made sure you were fed and taken care of. On your calmer day you decided you wanted to try something and called out the menu aloud. You almost jumped when the all too familiar screen popped up in front of you, the only thing missing was the option to ‘quit game’. The next chance that you got you asked one of the nuns how you could go about being an adventurer.

Here you were getting the hang of your class, who knew that combat in real life would be harder than it would be in a game. Monsters were actually terrifying and being in the wild sucked but at least you weren’t relying on other people to get by now.

You might have been getting too comfortable though because while taking on a quest to get rid of some monsters terrorizing some local fields you all but reached your limit, you were tired and wounded but the request was done and you just needed to report back to the guild now but you passed out.

You woke with a jolt. You thought the knights found you and took you to the church again but after looking at your surroundings that didn’t seem to be the case since it looked like a quaint cabin. You also noticed you were bandaged up really well. The door creaked open and in came a person you never saw before. “Oh you’re awake! That’s good.” “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude,” you told them. He shook his head, “It’s the least I can do after you helped clear our fields of monsters.” “Ah, I need to report back to the adventurer’s guild.” “You’re not in any condition to move! You need rest.” “I’m okay, I need to collect my money after all.” “Then, let me come with you.” Seeing no harm in that you allowed him to come with you. “I’m Mikha by the way!” The two of you exchange greetings and names. “Wow so you’ve only been an adventurer for a month? What made you want to be one?” “Change of pace I guess.”

After finishing the business at the adventurer's guild you were about to say your goodbyes with Mikha but he invited you to dinner and you couldn’t pass up free food. Back at his home you helped however you could in the kitchen but since everything was so primitive compared to your original world you were slow in learning. Over dinner you two talked about life, his parents died when he was young and he had to learn to take care of the farm from a young age in order to survive. He talked about how nice it was to have dinner with someone after being alone for so long. “Have you never thought about finding a spouse?” You asked. “I have, it’s just so hard when you have to tend the farm all the time.” The night ended with Mikha insisting that you spend the night there, which you agreed to since it’s better than camping out or spending money at an inn again.

A couple more months went by and you basically made yourself at home with Mikha. Even though he insisted that you paid with your company you still gave him money for his hospitality. All seemed to be going well until you informed Mikha that you were leaving this part of the continent to broaden your horizons of the world. “Mikha, are you okay? You dropped your food.” “I- I’m fine, when are you leaving?” “It’s going to take me a month to prepare so I’m not going any time soon.” “I’m going to miss you…” “I’ll miss you too! I’ll definitely try to write to you when I can.” Mikha lost his appetite, he thought everything was going good between the two of you, he thought he could convince you to stop adventuring someday and the two of you would settle down and start a family together. Was this really how it was going to end? No, he won’t allow it.

Your preparations were coming along and you were getting more and more excited about your journey. You couldn’t help but notice that Mikha seemed to have gotten quieter and just overall seemed to be more on edge. When you asked him what was wrong he’d vehemently tell you nothing was wrong.

Finally, the night before your journey arrived and Mihka had prepared more food than usual as a celebratory feast. You two ate and drank to your heart's content and Mihka even seemed like he was back to his cheerful self. After cleaning up, you went to go get a good night's rest but in the middle of the night you felt something burning in your core. You were extremely turned on and it was to a point where it was near uncomfortable. You squeezed your legs together, you tried to breathe it out and you even tried to relieve yourself but nothing was working. You didn’t even notice the knocking on your door until Mikha walked in to ask what was wrong. “Stay away from me!” You warned him, “I’m not in my right mind!” Mikha didn’t listen and because of that you jumped him and used him to your heart's content.

The next morning you were ashamed of yourself, you saw the marks and bruises you gave him from the night before. You were on your knees, crying and sobbing for forgiveness. He seemed like an angel when he pulled you in for a hug and told you everything is going to be okay but you’d need to take responsibility. You kissed your future dreams goodbye and eventually the two of you married and took care of the farm together. Mikha was just glad that you agreed to take responsibility so easily, but in case you ever tried to leave him, he would tell you about the succubus mark that was implanted on the two of you that night meant that no matter who else you decided to be with your lust wouldn’t have been satisfied by anyone except him.

[libraford]

Idk maybe it's because I'm autistic and don't get how things are supposed to work (I also haven't been able to work for over a decade due to disability so take this all with a heap of salt) but it feels like she needs someone to blame for problems.

You said last year there were three leads but this year you're doing the work of three on your own. Did they quit or get fired? Maybe someone else was the assigned "problem child" last year? But the fact that you didn't get any useful feedback at the times problems supposedly happened and they continued using your work...it just reads like a power trip on her end tbh

One of them left to become a veterinarian and do photography on the side. The other one of them left because there was a pretty big death in the family and also oldest kid was going through his senior year. Both have said that they might come back, but so far neither of them have committed.

The two of them were nearly perfect leads. Like they did all the paperwork properly and had all the details right and they didn't rush and they rarely did anything wrong.

Except when they did. And since I learned from one of them, I learned on all of her mistakes.

So I've had to be retrained.

Again and again and again.

There would typically only be one lead per job, so its not like I'm doing the work of three people the way I was doing the work of like... 7 people at the flower shop. I am still doing the work of one person, but I am doing it every day instead of only two to three times a week.

So the mistakes I learned are more obvious now and I am put in positions where previously I was not, like having to call as soon as there's a problem- because previously I was not often having these problems. I get dinged for not following procedure for this.

She tried training me on groups last year, but every time there was a chance to learn on the job something interrupted it. The first time it was because the person we had doing individuals was going painfully slowly and she had me set up my unit to clear out the bottleneck. The second time it was because our individuals photographer went into labor.

So I've been trained wrong on a bunch of things and had to be retrained. Attempts to train me properly have been interrupted, but she thinks that I received proper training and that I should be good to go.

So I do it. And I do it wrong. Over and over again.

And then I get the critique and there is disagreement between my boss and her boss about how I'm supposed to have done it.

And then I try again. And there's disagreement between my boss and me about how I was supposed to do it.

So my spirit is fuckin' crushed lately and I just want to get to the end of the season but of course there's YET ANOTHER critique at the end of the year where she says I'm bad at receiving critique when I've had to be retrained several times in several different areas, and she claims that NOTHING HAS CHANGED FROM MY INITIAL TRAINING even though documentably it HAS, which makes me feel like a fucking crazy person for suggesting that its hard to keep up with the changes sometimes.

And she says she's tired of arguing with me about how things are supposed to be done when I'm supposed to KNOW how things are done by now because this is my THIRD year in the business and why am I so argumentative?

At the last groups job, I asked her to help be out a little bit and check my work to make sure I was doing it right. I wasn't even done with the first group and she jumps in and tells me my numbers are wrong, changes it all and that's how we found that the guides were different. But when I talk to her about what made me mad there, she has a different story- she says that I did 2 or 3 classes wrong before she jumped in. Which is not what happened to my recollection.

I've asked her to take a more passive role and she got mad at me because she swears that she did take a passive role and now I'm being inconsistent- because I asked her for help and now I'm asking her not to get her hands in it. So now I'm confused again because I remember that day completely differently, and when I asked the rest of the crew they said that she was being pushy. Once she left and I was on my own, I did fine- but being unable to even get through a whole class without her jumping in to save the day kind of crushed me.

So I think she's misremembering a LOT. And making it my problem for bringing up inconsistencies, confusions, and changes. Either that or I have worse memory problems than I thought I did.

And now I'm being told that I go too fast. Because there were days last season where we were done an entire hour earlier than we were supposed to be. And I asked her- did people complain? Were my photos bad because I was fast?

No, no one complained. We had less retakes this year than we did any year.

If no one complained, then the problem is that I'm not taking time with the students to get the perfect photo. The problem is that you don't think I could possibly be that good and that fast at the same time. But if a kid only needs thirty seconds to get the pose, why should I take more time than is needed?

My photos have improved significantly from my first year. Oh my god, they've improved so much. But I'm struggling to learn a new, complicated thing for which I've gotten mixed messages and not gotten a lot of consistent guidance on.

And because I get confused when something is different from what was described, I am told that I can't take criticism.

Well yeah, no- if that's the criticism you've got for me, no I can't take criticism.

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

Yeehaw baby! 🤠

Mat Barzal x reader insta edit

Note: I’m not a Barzal gal but I am a ho for a man in a cowboy hat which I blame on my proximity to Alberta. Someone has probably done something similar to this so I just want to be clear that I’m not copying anyone

Summary: Barzy takes on Stampede

Yourusername

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Barzal97

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User33 um, something you wanna tell us?

Yourusername he’s giving Scott Eastwood in the classic film The Longest Ride. Obviously

User25 not where I thought that was going tbh

Barzal97 thanks I think?

EBear thanks for coming out man!!

Barzal97 anytime man!

Friend78 YYC > YVR

Barzal97 I will not accept Van slander. Calgs only better when it comes to this

HockeyGoss

Hockeygoss howdy y’all, look what we have here. Mat Barzal spotted getting close to a mysterious woman during Stampede

User4 girlies living the dream

User90 god the hat

User69 random but anyone else think that could be yourusername?

User2 girl what?

User69 idk, something about the jewelry we can see

User268 girl you tripping

Yourusername

Yourusername Wear the hat, something something 🤔

Yourbff pretty sure you know how it goes

Yourusername ummm nope

Yourbff well maybe B can refresh your memory

Yourusername oh he’s working on that 😘

Barzal97 context please?

Yourusername cowboy hat rule hockey boy. Google it

User56 Queen!

Friend56 ride him baby!

Yourusername 🫶yeehaw

Yourusername

Yourusername don’t take but two to have a little soirée (me & Sam if that wasn’t clear)

Highlight of the month CowboysMusicFestival SamHunt

Yourbff truly iconic performance

Yourusername I don’t think I’ll ever recover

Barzal97 okay I get the hype now

Yourusername was a crime that you weren’t a fan tbh

Yourotherbff can’t believe you didn’t before now given how often she plays him

Barzal97 I just to see her in her element to get it. She really sold it

Yourbff stop sucking up

Yourusername no please, continue

User89 did everyone just skip over her friends comment!!

Lenasianed it was a party all right

Barzal97

Barzal97 I met a girl with crazy shoes and baby blues. The way she moves is changing my whole world.

Yourusername crazy shoes are my specialty 😘

User7 OH?!

User25 my two worlds colliding

Yourbff if you don’t take care of her, I’ll kill you with your own skates

Barzal97 uh

Yourusername babe, we talked about threatening people on the internet

Yourotherbff but mom!

Yourusername no!

Titobeavi she’s so out of your league

Yourusername thank you Tito. See you next week?

User85 she’s already met his bf?

Barzal97 I should hope so, she lived in NY all last year

User64 💀 he didn’t deny the bf allegations but omg they’ve been dating a year?!

Yourusername

Yourusername save a horse, Vancouver Edition

Yourbff what?

Yourusername save a Zamboni, ride a hockey player 😏

Yourbro 🤮

Barzal97 🤦‍♂️ (I love you crazy woman)

[trashlie]

Love and Deepspace Thoughts

I promised some thoughts about Love and Deepspace and we're a week into the game and I think I can finally ramble about it for a while. I've been immensely enjoying myself and screaming daily with my friends lol and I think I've been able to formulate my thoughts pretty well! Idk how many people actually wanna read this, but I always love to have a record of my thoughts - especially something this early in game, because knowing papergames, there's going to be so much angst, so many twists and turns, and I'm already seeing a lot of threads of how things could play out and I like to be able to look back and see how wrong I was lol.

I play on the North American server and have completed chapter 7, so this will be full of spoilers for story content, as well as a lot of spoilers for anecdotes, tender moments, and some of the myth stuff - I'll try to denote where I'll mention certain spoilers in case you're trying avoid certain things, but it'd be impossible to write all of my sincere thoughts and capture all of what I really love and am looking forward to without spoilers, unfortunately.

Below will have a lot of thoughts on the current LIs as well as speculation about the 2 coming LIs, as well as their dynamics, and further speculation on where I think - or maybe just would like to see - the story could be going. To be clear, I have not cleared all anecdotes or myths, as I'm trying to savor things and good lord I cannot pull all those cards; a lot of this is compilation between my experiences as well as @poisonheart and further things I've read and discussed in the server. I will also be approaching this as a longtime player of MLQC, papergames' other otome game, because I cannot help but see the comparisons between the game and sing the praises of where I feel like they've grown and refined, but I don't think you'll need to have played MLQC to read this - you can honestly just ignore those bits lol >A<

What I can outright, sans spoilers, say is that I'm really enjoying Love and Deepspace so much and I think that it's come at a really good time for me, personally, as a MLQC player, because there's so much in game that's been completed and we're basically going through the motions doing our dailies, waiting for our new chapter events or participating in the occasional events (if you aren't hoarding resources for SP wish tree events) so it feels SO refreshing to dive into a new game that takes place in the same universe/world but have so much new stuff to uncover, so much new lore, new characters to meet and get to know. In MLQC I have a very clear favorite, but so far in LADS, I find that while I think I might have a favorite, I really enjoy all three LIs so much and I don't feel bad when I pull someone else's card, because it means I get to gobble all the lore! I don't feel like "UUUGGHH THIS GUY" when we get to X's chapter route. Perhaps it's just that LADS really caters to specific tropes and cliches in a way that I enjoy, but I feel so much like they've done these characters great justice! This goes for the MC, too, who doesn't feel at all like a cookie cutter MC meant to be a stand in for our own self-insert, but rather has a lot of personality of her own, is feisty and discerning.

Also, I gotta give a lot of props to the character customization features. I understand why people are upset that you can only change your hair and hair color in the photobooth function, but we rarely see MC out of that feature - so much of the game is in first person POV - and the times that we do see her, she's seen from the back, so maintaining the same hair for all characters allows them to keep something they can use for her stand in in such scenarios. But the customization is legit nuts! You can do so much with it, I spent so long tweaking mine the day before the game launched! I want to make side accounts I will never play just to play with that function lol

But let's get into the good stuff!

I really cannot sing the praises for the LIs enough, and that's going to be the bulk of what I'll talk about, because even this early in game, there's so much nuance to the LIs in both their characters as well as their dynamics with MC. Everyone brings a little something different to the table, and with what little we know of the upcoming LIs, I think even if for some reason the current LIs don't work for people, maybe the new ones might? But personally, I am so invested in all three of them! While I think I have a definite ranking in favor forming, it's not like it means I dislike any of them at all, and I'm always so eager to learn more!

One thing I'd like to mention before getting into it is that I love the inclusion of the myth cards, and though they are treated as alternate universes, I think it's more like they are previous or parallel timelines, but I'll try to get into that a little more as I talk about the characters!

From what I can see so far, I think Rafayel is one of the more popular fans with the North American/English-speaking fanbase - and it's not hard to see why! He's sassy, provides good comedy, he's fun to bully, and he's really pouty. I had a feeling he would be my favorite from the get go, just because I tend to have a thing for really pathetic men lmao and I have SUCH a fondness for him. I said I think I have a ranking forming, but it feels WRONG to rank them because that's how much I really like them, but if I had to, Rafayel's #2 position is really, REALLY close to #1! But the thing is, it's not just because of all of those traits above. I'd argue that he's one of the characters who has a lot of iceberg depth, as in there's a lot of depth to him that may get ignored or glossed over because of the sass and brattiness that accompanies, or even masks, it. As poisonheart puts it, the comedy hides the pain - and Rafayel comes with a LOT of pain! There's a delicious complexity to him where he is one part needy and clingy, but also one part resentful and hurt. MC made a promise that she doesn't recall - whether it was in this life or another - and you really get the sense that Rafayel wants to settle the score, but at the same time his feelings get in the way of those bitter, hurt feelings, and I really enjoy this complexity a lot! I think it elevates all of the sassiness, gives it a purpose and meaning.

Take his Nightly Stroll Bond: on the one hand it comes across as comedic and even manipulative -and it is! But when you get into it, you understand why. That's not to say if I think there's justification for manipulation because that's not what I'm here for; I'm just here for a good time and a good time I'm having. But when Rafayel says "It's been 800 years!" I don't think that's an exaggeration - he just isn't talking about just the day that he waited. Is faking an injury/illness and checking himself into a hospital overkill? Sure lol but that's what makes him so delightful to me. There's all of this hurt and unaddressed resentment, but as much as that, there's all of these feelings! Because even though he's hurt, he CARES about MC, SO MUCH. That's the problem! It would be easier if he didn't care, but he does. He's so needy, so clingy, he wants her attention because he's waited for so long while she was off, having forgotten him, living a life that abandoned and left him behind while he waited and waited and listen ;~; my stinky fish man I'm so sorry I cannot wait for her to learn the truth. I want to know SO BADLY what happened! When did they meet, anyway? He makes a comment on the homescreen when he's sulking lol about "See you in three months... three minutes, landlubber"

HOW LONG DID HE WAIT FOR HER IF ONE MINUTE IS ONE MONTH TO HIM?!

And listen, idk what anyone else thinks, but the end of chapter 7 had me in my FEELINGS, with the way he tried to leave her at the bottom of the ocean - but he couldn't, because of their promise, because he's unable to go back on it, because even though she forgot all about him and their promise and went about her life without a memory of him, he can't do that. It's the hurt! It's the resentment! It's the confliction between his feelings, because it seems like they take up equal space - his hunger for her attention, for what feels like she was so fickle to give and take away, the way she meant so much to him and he feels like it wasn't the same ;A;

(I've contemplated how possible it is that they met when she was younger, before she was attacked in the Wanderer incident 14 years ago, and if that could somehow have affected her memory, but I feel like it must be something greater, because seeing the fish glow in his heart means the vow they made was binding, so something strong must've caused her to forget. But that's also why I've contemplated if this was in another life? I'm less sure about this, because in Rafayel's second anecdote, he crosses paths with MC at university, though of course she doesn't recognize or recall him, and he specifically recognizes her voice. "Though her voice has matured, her pronunciation, enunciation, the rhythm of her speech, and even the emphasis in her sentences... Every word strikes like a drumbeat, awakening long-buried memories in his mind" It feels more likely that it happened while they were younger. Also I feel like this passage really encompasses her significance, that he can recall these details, to recognize them after so much time ;~; stinky fish you make my heart ache ;~;)

I appreciate so much that they've given Rafayel so much depth, that under the comedy of his pathetic, sulky exterior is so much reason for it, that there's an undercurrent of resentment and something dark - after all, we haven't actually uncovered what happened with the painting and Raymond. We saw the mermaid skeleton in his house - was Rafayel seeking revenge for his people?

But Rafayel also shows tremendous emotional sensitivity, in ways that sometimes catch me off guard. I distinctly remember lol sitting in shock after 4-3, and the text from Rafayel that pops up asking MC if she got the thing, telling her about how he asked a seagull to send a white seallshell why hasn't it arrived yet lol and I remember going "NOT NOW RAFAYEL READ THE ROOM ;~;" and then he goes on, telling her "if you draw on it and put it into the ocean the sea will carry the feelings you poured into the drawing to the soul you yearn for" and I just started SOBBING lol ;~; It was just so.... poignant but so simple. He didn't say I'm sorry for your loss or my condolences or anything like that - it was his own chaotic, weird method, but it was sincere. Likewise, he shows that similar sincerity in Ocean At Night, despite initially dismissing paper lanterns as silly human traditions - a lantern will be blown out why would you put all your hope in something so fleeting - coming around to using his own flame, that will never go out, to light a lantern for MC with the prayer that her hopes will never go out. ;~; Listen, I cried. I was TENDER my heart was soggy ;~;

And while I know people love a good pathetic man and enjoy chaotic sass and the fact that we really, truly NEVER know where his plots are going to go lmao - always an adventure with him - I hope they appreciate that depth and don't disavow the darker elements of him that give reason to those core elements of him. Rafayel is a character that carries his hurt and bitterness on his sleeve, rather than hiding it or shoving it away, and I really look forward to exploring it and all the messiness it has to offer, and how it will play out for MC.

On the very far end of the spectrum is Zayne. He's the character I expected to not be too fond of, so I was so pleasantly surprised as we got to know him to find myself proven wrong! I expected him to be... hm... I guess colder? More prickly? Than he turns out to be? And, admittedly, he is still rather aloof and cold on the surface, but I think it helps that he and MC have that history and that we are introduced very early to them through the A Frozen Promise Bond. It made it readily apparent that Zayne was not a cold and aloof person because he was too lofty or something but rather... it just seemed like maybe he'd been someone more awkward when he was younger, someone who didn't know how to connect very well with the daughter of this family friend, but he still tried. The snow seal took me out, you guys ;~; I never moved on from that!!!!!!

Despite seeming so cold, there's a certain kind of warmth to Zayne, just under the surface. He shows his care and concern in the ways he knows best, as MC's PCP, caring about her well being and health, but their Tender Moments are a collection of wonderful moments showing them growing closer, getting to know each other better as people, as friends and equals. For the record, Starry Nocturne hurt me so much, but it did two things I thought were so important. a. It showed that he was not infallible, which I think is very important, because often characters are written in their roles as geniuses who never fail, or else accomplish the impossible, and to see him lose a patient, while painful to read, made him so human but also b. It gave him that moment of vulnerability with MC where he could lean on her. It's so, SO important! for a MI to be able to lean on the MC, I feel, for them to be those equals, for him to be able to be vulnerable with her, but especially so for a character like Zayne who feels very reserved and closed off.

MC makes statements about feeling like there's distance between her and Zayne, especially when they first come back into each others' lives for the first time, so getting to indulge in these little Tender Moments of them taking little steps towards each other, closing that gap between them, is so satisfying! Having that history gives them a dynamic unlike Rafayel or Xavier's with her, because she has her memories of their childhood, of who he was when they were younger, and who they are now, and can compare the warmth of him opening up, of the chuckles and laughter she elicits from him. They also have this kind of flirtship I really enjoy - something very coy, not in an uwu so shy way just.... very coy, both dancing around the bush, before one of them calls it what it is - I thought the A Heartfelt Paradise Tender Moment a really good example of this!

It's so easy to read Zayne as being cold and aloof, but he really does have so much warmth, he just isn't good at showing it. He doesn't wear things on his sleeves like Rafayel or MC. But good LORD when he's in private....!!!!!!! The Business Trip Memoria TOOK. ME. OUT!!!!!! This is the game launch and they're already throwing this at us?! It was, to me, such a mature kind of date to give us? Two people who have had to grow used to each other's absence in their lives, and continue having to make space for those absences, as both are busy people - Zayne, a dedicated cardiac surgeon and MC a hunter - and what it means to grow used to the absence and to miss each other. But listen - when MC got in his lap?! She was touching his mouth? His face?! "What did you want me to do, in front of all those people?" he asked her? SIR?!

HELLO?! Girl. Listen.

I had to fan myself alfjkkfkjafjkafkjaf lmao

I looooooove them for that element of normalcy - for the people who have important careers and lives that they have to attend to, but still find the room for each other in their lives. The implication that Zayne rushed his way through school, took on grueling workloads and lacked a social life amongst classmates much older than him, not because he loved learning or even because he was so dedicated to his career - but because it was his way back to MC, so that he could return to stand in front of her? GOD. HOW DO YOU MOVE ON FROM THAT? HOW DO YOU HANDLE THAT? Knowing that he did it all so that he could stand in front of you again? HOWLING pls LISTEN.

Zayne may feel cold on the surface, but he is SO warm, he cares so much. And not just about MC, either. Thank God, too, because I'm not huge on the "Cold man only cares about the woman he loves" type, but Zayne cares so much about his patients, and making sure they feel seen, cared about? His first anecdote had me crying about seniors in hospitals with no relatives to accompany them to their examinations ;~; What a man.

I haven't had a chance to dig into his myth yet, which is a shame, but his third anecdote DID destroy me. I'm not even exaggerating, I was sobbing in my bedroom - and the worst part is I knew it would be painful going in and I still wasn't braced for impact enough! I mean, frankly, both his second and third hurt but nothing like the third! Parallel universe Zayne in a grim reaper role where he must kill humans turning into Wanderers - so very opposite the surgeon version of him who does everything he can to save people, both of them living parallel lives to each other, experiencing each others' lives through their dreams/nightmares. THIS HAS ME SCREAMING!!!!!

So much of MLQC has a lot to do with timelines - parallel worlds, some alternate universes, a whole timeline that's technically the same timeline reset but also still moving forward...... lol I can't help but think about where all of this fits in to LADS. Even though the Myth storylines are taken as alternate universes.... I think they're part of everyone's stories. We see echos of them. I haven't finished Rafayel's but even little moments, like making a break for it and having to run to escape attention echos a scene of Rafayel and the Princess MC making a mad dash in the market alley to escape the palace guards. It feels especially true for Xavier and MC, which I'll get to. But especially with Zayne - whose myth, again, I haven't been able to dig into, but seems to pose him as a sort of god, a forseer - we have two very different timelines/events now: his myth/Philos story and his parallel Grim Reaper self. How many timelines/parallel universes are we playing with, I wonder....?

I really want to revisit this in the future when I do get to dig into his myth, because I can see how Rafayel and Xavier's myths tie into their identities and their dynamics with MC, but I don't know yet how any of that works for Zayne and MC! I'm so intrigued, I can't wait!!!!

And finally, Xavier. God, I should have known lol in retrospect I should have realized Xavier would be my weak spot but listen..... sometimes I gotta lie to myself lol I love everything about him, the seemingly gentle eepy man who is also simultaneously a walking weapon of mass destruction but also so easily stumped by a UFO machine lol. Much like Rafayel, I'm especially fond of him because of the depth and dynamics, but also, honestly, much like Rafayel, he just checks all the boxes. Poisonheart puts it best when she says Xavier is the perfect middle-ground of the two - he's not as sassy as Rafayel is, but he'll still roast MC, he's very grounded and comes off a little aloof sometimes, but he doesn't seem nearly as aloof as Zayne, and he's also really unintentionally funny! He plays the middle-ground of them SO well. And where Zayne was working hard in order to show up in front of MC again and Rafayel has a score to settle but also so much neediness, it feels like Xavier has a LOT of karma to make up for.

Now, I personally don't have his myth cards, but poisonheart does, so everything I know I've experienced via her and all of our hours of screaming lol and the thing that really gets me the most about Xavier and MC is like..... okay it's the way he's clearly this really incredibly strong guy, but he plays the submissive prey role so well? lol He begs if she tells her to, he doesn't resist, he indulges her, he plays along - but when the mood strikes, he'll pull the dominant switch and flip the table and alkfjlFKJKAFJ ALKJFAF LAKJFAKFKJFAJ AFLKJD GODDDDDDDD IT GETS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Xavier has that sense of like.... everything for MC, right? Like he's making up for a lifetime. There's implications that maybe he's been searching through space and time for her, trying to find her, that they've lost and each other countless times before - or rather, she's lost him - and his Shooting Stars myth supports this. Sometimes it's really subtle, sometimes it stands out so much I'm in agony. She remarks so often how he feels so distant, like he's as out of reach and mysterious as a star. She has nightmares about him disappearing and he is incredibly reassuring about staying, about not leaving. And maybe I'm reading into it, but he even talks about her hanging on tight, like maybe if she's strong enough, she can keep him from ever being taken away, keep them from being separated this time.

He's also the one who feels like he's actually endured all the years. Rather than separate timelines or parallel worlds it feels like Xavier has actually traveled through space and time, like he's the same Xavier from the myth himself, which makes him talking about the loneliness of stars so much worse. How long has he been alone, searching for her? ;~;

But their dynamic just really gets to me - it's those echos, the way MC subconsciously acts on them, and how indulgent Xavier is towards her. It's the playful teasing and the gentleness and how he plays so submissive and docile but when the mood strikes he can switch it up and catch her (and me!!!) off guard. It's the way he texts LMAO never writing out you or one lmao (which is marginally better than Rafayel's COMPLETE LACK OF PUNCTUATION LMAO ALFKAJFKJAFKJAFKJAFJK) It's the way he has that innocent baby face and could absolutely get away with murder.

Initially I had contemplated if it was possible he is actually a star and while maybe that isn't true I am still not certain he's human - at least he's not from our world (especially if he really is the very Xavier from the myth) but I still like to think of him as one, because he wears the star motif so well and likens himself to one so often. Also, look, I am a SUCKER for a star motif. I was doomed from the start lol.

There's just something about the agony and TRAGEDY in their past, in the echos, the subconscious fears, and the sheer indulgence!!!!! It's MC telling Xavier he might be her enemy later and the distress it caused him, prompting him to share his access privileges with her to earn her trust ;A; It's the way he's apparently spent DECADES, at the VERY LEAST, on our earth AND HE'S A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE COOK lmaoooooooo it's the stupid little lines he says because he's not as overtly clingy and pouty as Rafayel but an armful of plushies is a dreadful thing because then he doesn't have a free hand to hold MC's hand !!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS?! WHINES

I could write a whole essay about Xavier and I'm restraining myself and attempting to be really, really normal about him okay?

But yeah for him it's that depth of like... the guilt and agony he carries - because not only does leaving her hurt him, but it hurts himself, too. That unbearable loneliness, the endless wait, hoping, wondering, unsure of when, or if, he'll find her again, but refusing to give up - and when he does, endeavoring to make up for it. Like, as it is, there's something about strong men being submissive that is so lakkjfkafkjfkjaf alfjakfaf but it's the way Xavier does it with MC that is soooooo INDULGENT, so VERY "for you, because it's you" that makes me want to chew my keyboard and howl at the moon and every time he reassures her he won't leave I feel dread but also I want it to be true.

I know how papergames operates. I know Xavier may mean it, but I also know.... ;A;

And to think, this is all JUST THE LAUNCH STUFF! We haven't even passed chapter 8 yet lmao We don't even have all our LIs! We've (maybe?) yet to meet our antagonist? WHICH I'M EXCITED ABOUT BTW

Listen.

I have some thoughts and I'll try to keep them short (yknow, for me) because this is already long and rambly and maybe I can just expand on this later but: Sylus and Caleb are confirmed as LIs right? But are they the same person or not??????

If Sylus = Caleb it gives us a LOT of potential for exploring some really complex, grey morality. I mean, no matter what, Sylus is going to bring grey morality lol but especially if it turns out Caleb is actually secretly the leader of Onychinus, because it brings that whole "Who is this person I thought I knew?" and more so because Onychinus is poised as an enemy to the Hunter's Association.

But something Papergames has done in MLQC and I fully expect them to do here is explore grey morality, not only in Onychinus, but the Hunter's Association. Xavier's Tender Moments Garden of Secrets brings up the implication that some Wanderers are, in fact, intelligent, and while it's rare, it can occur. And with parallel world Grim Reaper Zayne having to kill people before they turn into Wanderers it begs the question of this world: can that happen here, too? And it gets into the moral conundrums. That's not to say the Hunter's Association are bad for killing Wanderers and protecting people but it starts to bring up questions, because in Grim Reaper Zayne's world, this is being covered up. What about this world? There's also the question of what is Onychinus even doing? I fully expect to find that whatever their objective is, it will be a question of the greater good and if the ends justify the means and the such.

Ultimately, an antagonist LI has to be sympathetic in some fashion, because how else are they going to write the story for them lol. Like they can certainly have Bond/Memoria/Tender Moments that are more about the combative element of their relationship meeting the chemistry that draws them to each other, but at any rate, there has to be something that draws them to each other and makes them care, right? So therefore, he can't be entirely bad, or at least MC has to be able to empathize with him and his objective, or the cause of it or something like that.

If Caleb = Sylus, that might be more achievable because of their history, but obviously that isn't a requirement, and that can also make it more complex, because again, that whole "this person I thought I knew".

I think there's a possibility for that overlap partly because we already have a LI with a history with MC - but to be fair, Zayne's history with MC is very different than Caleb's and has a different dynamic, so even if they didn't give him the villain route, it would still play out very differently and give them a significantly different enough dynamic that I don't think it would be a big issue.

If he's not Sylus, then there's still a lot of avenues to explore with Caleb. They've already implied that Caleb wants to take care of MC, wants her to lean on him and let him play that role for him, to stop being so strong in front of him, and I think that could very well affect his story and what has lead to his "death". Being in the airforce makes me wonder if it's possible that the military is associated in any way with Onychinus - after all, didn't he say that he does top secret work involving the deepspace tunnel, and isn't Onychinus interested in that? It wouldn't be the first time a government agency was written as being corrupt lol (and again there could be a lot gray morality here where Onychinus isn't necessarily inherently bad). Caleb could have gotten involved simply by his job.

There's the revenge angle, if he, too, was an experiment subject (which would make sense because why did Granny take him in as well?) and wanting to get back at? the people who experimented on them. Or wanting to be more involved? A spy case? SO many possibilities and I'm really excited to see where it all goes!

I think regardless of how Caleb is reintroduced to the story, I imagine there's going to be some kind of conflict - his "death" and then reappearance.... did he know that was going to happen? was it planned? was he involved? I don't think they'll bring him back and yay! now she has a family member back but I think there will be some kind of strife to work through, some good ol angst that really plays with the dynamic of feeling hurt and betrayed but wanting to return to the old times that can never be returned to, wanting to seek refuge in someone who maybe doesn't exist anymore, being drawn to someone you cared so much about and feeling so conflicted about it alfkjkfjkjafjkaf kj

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a rambling mess so kudos to anyone who made it this far. Maybe I'll manage to write some more bitesized thoughts later @___@

[carlsdarling]

Hey love! I just wanted to say I love your works and wanted to maybe ask for a request. Today is my birthday and I was wondering if you could do a Carl x reader surprise birthday related smut where maybe he surprises reader by remembering it’s her birthday (maybe he was keeping track or something) and he invites her over for a cute/romantic dinner and he saves her for dessert 🤭. Idk I thought it sounded cute and would ask.

Birthday Surprise

Carl prepares a birthday dinner for Y/N, but things are not quite going as planned... Bit more of a plot, then sex. Everyone is 18 or over.

WARNINGS: smut, nsfw

Your birthday was pretty gloomy; it was the first one without your family, and nothing could really cheer you up - not even the birthday cake and the little presents that Tara and Rosita, with whom you shared a house, gave you.

Now you were alone, since the other two girls were on guard duty. It was already dawning, soon it would be dark. A knock on the door pulled you out of your somber musings. Carl was standing on the threshold. You had started dating a week ago and had already kissed a few times, but nothing more had happened yet. "Hey, sweetie," Carl greeted you, hugging and kissing you, "congratulations. I, um, I prepared a surprise for you." He gestured vaguely in the direction of his house. "Are you coming?"

You agreed, just wanting to quickly change and put on makeup, then you followed Carl out. You reached his house and entered through the back door as you sniffed suspiciously. "What's burning in here? I smell smoke," you said alarmed.

"Oh no," Carl exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen. Thick black smoke was billowing from the oven. Carl opened the oven door, and it got worse. Hastily you opened the windows, coughing, and Carl pulled a completely charred lump out of the oven. "Damn," he lamented. "That was part of the surprise!" You helped Carl air everything out and clean up the burnt cake. With great difficulty, you stifled a laugh. Carl cleared his throat. "Okay, but that was just dessert, I prepared more," he announced proudly. You steeled yourself, because as far as you knew, Carl could neither bake nor cook.

He presented a colander full of cooled, congealed spaghetti. "I just need to heat this up quickly," he promised, gesturing to the beautifully set table. "Why don't you sit down?" He lit several candles before dumping the spaghetti into a pot of tomato sauce and warming everything on the stove.

What he finally served didn't look very appetizing, but you realized how much effort Carl had put in, so you didn't give it a second thought. The noodles were mushy and the sauce far too little seasoned. It tasted awful. "Do you like it?" inquired Carl expectantly. His cheeks were flushed in the candlelight.

"Yes, it's quite great, Carl," you fibbed.

"Too bad the cake burned," he fretted, whereas you thought it was probably better that at least you had been saved from the cake. It was quite dark outside by now, and the dining room was lit only by the candles.

"So where are Rick and Michonne?" you asked.

"They went to Carol's because I said I wanted to celebrate your birthday here with you undisturbed," Carl explained. "Judith is asleep." He got up and came around the table to kiss you, and this time his kisses were more demanding and intense than usual, and when Carl grabbed your hands and playfully pulled you over to the couch, you realized he was planning to sleep with you for the first time today. Longingly, he kissed your neck. It was pretty early for that, but you were already sure after that short time that you loved Carl, and what were you going to wait for? In this new world, everything could suddenly be over any day. You stroked through Carl's hair and unbuttoned his flannel, signaling to him that you also wanted it.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" he made sure. "Or is it going too quickly for you?"

"No, I want to feel you, Carl," you whispered, "I'm ready." His flannel and his shirt came off, then yours. You admired Carl's upper body, he wasn't particularly muscular, but so lean and somewhat defined, and his skin so flawless, with a few small moles.

Carl gazed entranced at your breasts and began to fondle them. Hot flashes shot down your spine. Your lower abdomen was getting hot, and you felt your panties moistening. You lay down on the couch, and Carl pulled a box of condoms out of his pants pocket and placed them on the side table.

It wasn't long before both of you had completely undressed, your clothes lying messily on the floor, and you were exploring each other's bodies. Carl's dick was a good size, with a nicely shaped red tip that glistened wetly. As you gently grasped his stiff shaft and moved your wrist up and down, Carl closed his eye and whimpered. "Oh, please, Y/N, keep going," he begged. You were delighted by the reactions you were eliciting from Carl with your actions, and you had just begun to lick and suck on his tip when Carl gripped you by the shoulders and gently pushed you away. "Wait," he whispered hoarsely. "If you don't, I'll cum right now, but I do want to fuck you."

You giggled nervously, embarrassed, as Carl unwrapped one of the condoms and slipped it on his cock. "Looks like you've done this before," you teased him.

"Um, yes and no," he said, blushing. "I practiced it a few times so, well, so nothing would go wrong." He coughed. "How... what position should we do it in?" he asked uncertainly.

You lay down on your back. "I think it's easiest that way," you said hesitantly. Carl got himself into position and rubbed his tip over your slippery entrance until you moaned softly, spreading your legs even wider and looking at him with hazy eyes. "Please, Carl, put it in," you whimpered, all wriggly with arousal. Millimeter by millimeter, Carl penetrated you. It hurt a little as he stretched you out, but the pain was displaced by excitement and by the overwhelming feeling of being so close to Carl. It took a while for his dick to be completely inside you, and you looked deeply into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Carl began careful thrusts.

There was a slight twinge, but then the pain disappeared completely, and you felt like your pussy was made of hot liquid lava, having Carl inside you made you almost senseless with arousal. You felt yourself growing wetter and wetter for him, and for the next few minutes all you could hear was both of your moans and sighs, and the sound of Carl's dick moving inside your slick folds. You stroked his back, feeling his lean muscles play beneath your fingers. His hair clung sweatily to his forehead. "Carl, I'm going to cum," you panted, biting his shoulder lightly.

"Me too," Carl returned. His poundings became more erratic, he gasped, then wrenched his handsome face and cried out in ecstasy as he had his orgasm inside you. Stars flickered across your visual field as you climaxed as well, your pussy contracting uncontrollably, over and over.

"Carl!" you screamed, while he helped you through your orgasm.

Afterwards, you cleaned yourselves up and snuggled together under a plaid. Again and again you kissed and let what had happened linger, quite dazed by the aftermath of your shared orgasm. And so you couldn't react fast enough when the key turned in the lock and a few seconds later Rick and Michonne were standing in the room. Rick gaped open-mouthed, then eyed the clothes on the floor and scratched his head, speechless, while Carl pulled the plaid up to his chin. "Ok, Carl, well, I didn't expect that now," Rick stammered, looking strained at the bookshelf. His face was all red.

"Well, I did," Michonne dryly replied.

"Did you... did you use protection?" inquired Rick anxiously, frowning.

"'Sure we did, Dad," Carl assured, his face also flushed with embarrassment. You tried not to look at anyone, the situation was so awkward.

Michonne rolled her eyes and grabbed Rick's arm to push him out of the room. "Let's get these two dressed and cleaned up," she ordered. "And air out, please," she called to you before closing the door.

Carl and you looked at each other, then burst into silly laughter.

--

Tags: @loveforcarl @knochentrocken0808

[aleksa-sims]

Simselfstory

CW: Pregnancy, addiction

The one hour he gave me was over, but the doors were still open. Should I stay-… or should I go?

I tried to call N., he didn't answer.... Shit, N.! Don't you care about me???... But why do I even wonder? I knew why he ignored me. We agreed on this! And well, that's N.! That's how he is. No matter what happens, he never deviates from the course. So even if I call him 100 times, he won’t pick up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😩

Before I go back to the current events, I quickly explain what Nico and I have discussed.

N. knew, as long as I haven’t cleared everything up with Daniel, D. would haunt my mind forever. So he wanted me to go to him and talk to him. And Nico and I weren’t together at the time, so he told me to do what I want with Daniel! 7 days, he said. After that, he wants an answer from me! No sooner or later! After my time with D.'s over, he'll talk to me! I didn’t agree with the 7 days, I thought I could settle this matter with Daniel within 24 hours. But well, Daniel’s answers to my questions have changed everything. So decided to stay! 7 days!

As you can see above, I just did my laundry. I had no comfy underwear here in Daniel’s and my apartment. While I was busy filling our washer, I noticed Daniel’s pills on the counter next to his things. At the same time, it rang at our door, but I didn’t care...

Shit, that’s the good stuff! The pills I was hooked on in the past... I’d love to get high. Right now, more than ever....

What the fuck did I do!???????? 😨 I’m pregnant, damn it!! What's wrong with me?.... 🤮🤮 Agh, I was damn lucky. I didn’t swallow the pill, I just had it in my mouth and I spit it out. 

Meanwhile, I heard Daniel talking to someone on our doorstep.

Daniel: I’m not interested in this job. Sorry, you got me wrong. But be honest, is that really why you came by, to offer me a job? Or is this about Alex?

Girl: No, I’m here for you. Besides, I know Alex doesn’t live here and I don't care tbh. The other day we were here, he told me.

Daniel: It’s none of my business anyway. However, I don’t need any help or a job. You're wasting your time. I'm pretty busy rn so...

How could I have done that? How could I forget I was pregnant?...... I was still standing in our tiny......... toilet-room (?). The window was open. I could hear Daniel & that girl talking about a job. Does he know I’m eavesdropping on them? Is that why he’s in such a hurry to get rid of her?... Agh, I'm such a mess.🤦‍♀️ Why am I even thinking about that girl? I want to get a divorce!! I should rather think about what I just did!!! I’m not even 24 hours here and all I care & think about is that damn drug and............ Daniel. 😖 

Daniel (to me): You know what’s about to happen. Last chance! If you don’t go, you’ll be locked up here with me tonight.

Girl: Um, I better get going. See you. 😬

Me: I just wanted to go over, to the bathroom. Who-... was that? 😳

Daniel: Weren’t you going to the bathroom? 🤨

Me: What- 😶‍🌫️😳

Daniel: Coincidentally, I want to take a shower, now! 🤷‍♂️ But we can do it together, I don’t mind.

Daniel: Come closer..... It’s been a long time.

Me: You're playing me. 😳😔

Daniel: Why do you think so? You want me too, that's why you stayed. I mean, you literally lured me into the bathroom. And you look hot, you got me horny. 😏

Me: No, I wasn’t trying to seduce you. I only wear... this, bcs I have nothing else here.

Daniel: I don’t care! We’re married and I wanna fuck you, babe.

Me: Btw, when did you get the divorce papers? 🤨

Daniel: Um..... 5 weeks ago?

Me: Exactly!.... What were you waiting for, Daniel? Why didn’t you call me, once you got better? Admit it, you’ve been thinking about breaking up with me, too. Alex told you what I said to him. And that girl earlier... Idk who she is, but I have heard it all! She's been here once.

Daniel: Yes! I was thinking about signing your fucking divorce petition. I was mad at you! Anyway, go up and wait for me. There’s still a lot we need to clear up. But this here, we'll definitely keep up tonight.

Me: Well, let's see.

Previous/Next

[utilitycaster]

As someone who has expressed that creators should be more hostile to fans (agreed), I am curious about your thoughts on this EXU interlude, now that it’s complete, as a creative move for the campaign. I was also disappointed in the timing, for sure, but I am also deeply annoyed at the fans who are still out here expecting significant changes to CR’s clear strategy of highlighting content outside of the main campaign and diversifying their programming. That this is being lumped in with “everything CR is doing outside of the main campaign like Candela and Midst and EXU is boring and bad" and seeing people be so incredibly frustrated that they dared bring in EXU stuff into the sacred space of the main campaign (something that should've been clear from ep 1 when three of the crown keepers were there) makes me want to defend the decision on principal, but I am torn on if this actually worked or not. Perhaps a few more episodes with Dorian back are needed to solidify an opinion, idk.

(And, FWIW, I don't care if this was a production need or not, nor do I buy that this was to give Sam more time on character creation, I think it was a very deliberate creative choice and should be judged as such).

Hi anon,

I find myself in a similar position:

I think people who act like every off week from the main campaign is an affront (especially when Critical Role usually is very clear in saying so, whether it's for Candela, for a one-shot, or for interruptions like the sick day character creation q&a) fucking suck. It's fine if Midst and Candela aren't your thing - I think they're both excellent but if you don't care for horror or if you have difficulty following podcasts, that's valid - but this is part of Critical Role's programming! I also agree that people who were salty that Fearne and Orym came from EXU are annoying, and I agree that this was a deliberate creative choice and should be judged as such.

I still think, ultimately, this wasn't very well done. The timing was particularly bad as I discussed before, but also, even if the timing were great, I don't like that it was a surprise. Not so much because I hate surprises, but actually I would have really appreciated some time to review the (non-Orym and Fearne) Crown Keepers, who, as a group in some capacity, last were the PCs of an adventure 2 years ago in real time. It's been a hot second. I personally have some difficulty re: investment in the Crown Keepers that I'm going to throw onto a different ask I received and to be honest I wonder if I'm not alone and this was something they anticipated and so did this specifically so that it was unavoidable (or at least, would require effort to avoid). So yeah I don't want to say that experimentation with the format is a bad thing - I want Critical Role to do new and different stuff - but I think as long as you're not shooting down every new choice it is okay to dislike elements of this one.

As for whether it worked: what I can say is I enjoy where the Crown Keepers' story ended but I'm also pretty okay with this being the end of them as a party and only seeing them as NPCs or in unrelated scenarios (eg: Fy'ra popping up in a guest battle royale). If they show up as guests in the main campaign, that could be good too, but I'm honestly like...could we get Erica and Aabria on Candela as players and could we get more Anjali in everything always and could we do another totally unrelated EXU sometime soon?

[destinyc1020]

Also, I forgot to add to that long rant vent, but Tom is in Boston rn with Z as she's filming the drama and some fans get mad at him being there, but that's also a sacrifice most male actors who are in demand wouldn't do that. If he was like most, he'd be filming a project rn or isolating himself to prep for Nolan.

Z and Rob have been filming in Boston, and literally yesterday, Tom was at Boston College writing a donation check through the brothers' trust to their disabled students department. It hurts not to be so parasocial, but when I see him do generous acts like these, it warms my heart, and I get so confused sometimes cause those fans see him as a villain.

Z also came to support him in his play, and fans forget that also, like she's not in demand. Most actors wouldn't do that.

Not shaming those who do, but relationships take a lot of time and at times sacrifice, especially when you are in demand careerwise and they do it gracefully. It's not easy. That's why most male actors have flings or unserious relationships, like Leo lol.

Okay end of rant,

✌🏾💓

Also, I forgot to add to that long rant vent, but Tom is in Boston rn with Z as she's filming the drama and some fans get mad at him being there,

Giiiiirrrrrl anybody who's actually mad that a man is going to support his fiancée gf while filming her work while he's free from work himself has some real issues that they need to work out lol. 😅

Like why on earth is what someone is doing in their OWN relationship bothering you so much? 🥴 Go worry about your own life and relationship!

Maybe Zendaya asked him to be there with her? It's pretty clear that they move in tandem with each other these days, and maybe they've realized that this works for them so that they don't go through another breakup. Like you said, dating an actor is tough work. It's a lot. Not everyone can be successful with it because it's challenging. That's why the Hollywood couple success rate is so LOW.

but that's also a sacrifice most male actors who are in demand wouldn't do that. If he was like most, he'd be filming a project rn or isolating himself to prep for Nolan.

Yea, it's definitely a sacrifice!

Idk if I'd say that "most male actors" wouldn't do this. I've known of other male actors who visit their gfs on location.

Keep in mind too though that Tom and Z are in more of a position to do stuff like this now because of the years of being on Disney and Marvel's payroll. In the beginning stages of their relationship they weren't spending weeks with each other on set either coz they were both hustling and busy. They made time for each other on set, but it wasn't months.

You don't remember all the times we would know when Tom was leaving LA to go back home? Yea, Tom would visit Z's sets from time to time, but they weren't spending months.

Their relationship has changed.

Z and Rob have been filming in Boston, and literally yesterday, Tom was at Boston College writing a donation check through the brothers' trust to their disabled students department. It hurts not to be so parasocial, but when I see him do generous acts like these, it warms my heart, and I get so confused sometimes cause those fans see him as a villain.

That was so sweet!!! 🥰

I agree with you, it's very frustrating seeing people hating on Tom when he's such a sweet guy and a good person 😔, but unfortunately that's what comes with massive (or even slight) fame. I've come to accept that not everyone is going to like my faves, and that's OKAY! The fandom isn't for people like them anyway. We don't want any haters in Tom's fandom in the first place! 😅

I personally haven't been on-line much, so I haven't seen backlash about Tom being in this Nolan film. I've mainly been seeing nothing but great stuff! 😃 Even on Twitter I see most people being EXCITED! 😁

I don't care about what naysayers say. I really don't. Most of them are the minority anyway. Why pay attention to a small vocal minority in the first place?

Not shaming those who do, but relationships take a lot of time and at times sacrifice, especially when you are in demand careerwise and they do it gracefully. It's not easy. That's why most male actors have flings or unserious relationships, like Leo lol.

Yea, like I said, it's not easy! It's not easy dating even out here for us regular folks. 😒

Also, if male actors or Leo want to have flings or unserious relationships due to work obligations, then that's fine?? 🤷🏾‍♀️ What people choose to do in their own romantic life isn't my business. I don't really care. All I care about is if you're a good actor and I like you as a person. How you spend your personal time with your significant other is your business lol. 😆

Keep in mind too that a lot of these women they're dating know the deal and are fine with it. They just want a handsome man on their arms while they either build their own careers or get money or gifts out of the relationship. Not every woman out here is looking for marriage, a white picket fence, and 2.5 kids lol 😆

Some women are just out here having fun dating these famous handsome guys, and that's okay too! 😄🤷🏾‍♀️

[blarrghe]

Shop talk! I know you're currently doing the whole writing and posting thing differently than before - like the whole thing is written, you're just editing and posting once a week. So what do you think of that? Do you prefer it over how you worked previously? Does it depend on the fic??

And how much editing are we talking? Both in terms of words changed as well as time spent on it? Do you do editing the next chapter for a whole week? Are you constantly editing all upcoming chapters??

Thanks for the ask! I love talking about this stuff :) Sorry for the obscenely long answer.

So it's the first time I've done that, and now that I'm in the posting part I am liking it a lot. I like the structure, I look forward to Wednesdays, I feel like I gathered a little bit of an audience that is there weekly with me as well, which is nice for everyone. I don't know if it makes any difference to people in terms of engagement if they hear that its completed in advance or see it posting regularly, but idk if it was me as a reader I would appreciate the regularity so I hope people do. At least one person has told me they're waiting to read it until it's finished/waited to start until it was over half posted, idk if I'll suddenly get new readers when its up in full or what but I def understand that. But yeah! The posting weekly thing has been nice. It feels productive even if I actually don't do a ton of writing every week.

Actually writing the thing took like two years though, specifically because there was absolutely no gratification to it haha. I didn't really even post wip snippets or talk about it much, because I wanted to keep my secrets. I was writing either Matchsies or A Complicated Match still when I had the idea and started plotting, so part of it taking so long is also that I was dividing my attention, and devoting more of it to the ongoing stuff I was actually posting. But I started this fic with the intention of letting it be a slow side-burner project so that I could make it "really good" by the time it went up. And that was a good call, because I did a lot of re-writes and re-structuring to elements of it, especially some of the early chapters, when I got further into the plot. To be clear, it's had the same outline all along, but there were connecting details that didn't work, like logistical travel time things that would have been glaringly annoying if I'd posted the first drafts of the first few chapters before writing the later ones. Also I re-vamped Sylvanna's character really early on into a more major role. She wasn't originally a bodyguard! Or really a main element of the story at all. Absolution came out at some point and I got Ideas.

Anyway, a lot of the editing that went into the fic before I started posting was pretty major, but by the time I was ready to actually start posting everything was much more concrete. I tend to edit the next chapter in the days before it goes up, and right before posting, mainly just for little details. But I try to give myself some distance and not overdo the constant editing so that when I do look at it right before posting I have some fresher eyes, right now I haven't looked at the next chapter (lying, I read it last night, but not from an EDITOR standpoint) in a couple weeks and I plan to put on editor glasses tomorrow morning before I post it. A big part of the editing that is ongoing is for how the prose reads, like I might come up with some gorgeous metaphor or re-do how a scene is described but keep the content the same. You get better all the time as a writer, so it's just about getting the Good Copy as Good as I can before it goes up. Every now and then I have a genius thought and go stick it in where it fits. Every now and then I also delete stuff or have a genius thought that doesn't actually fit and stick it in "CUT CONTENT" on the bottom of the doc. There's some Taren-perspective Bher stuff in there that didn't work with how I structured Ch. 20, for example. I was thinking for a sec I'd re-write that whole chapter and do a flashback chapter for him but it did not suit the flow at all and I only got a couple paragraphs in and then just... added like two lines of Taren Thoughts to get the point across instead haha. I also cut a couple chapters in half but didn't change them (19 and 20 are an example, which is also why a ch. 20 rewrite did not work.)

The most major edits I've made have been to the last two chapters, mainly to add in a few new ideas I had or to tie up loose ends I realised I was still leaving. I haven't majorly changed any of what was going to happen, it's more just me trying to really nail those last chapters. I am also constantly re-reading it in full (sometimes making minor tweaks to names in the narration ;) and also boring stuff like punctuation). I'll post a chapter and immediately get excited for the next one and go read from that point to the end...

There's also a "secret" epilogue that I wrote, really liked, and then cannibalized and entirely re-wrote like, yesterday. I wasn't initially sure I'd even post it but now I definitely will. So stay tuned for that ;)

[batsplat]

Hi, I hope you are having a good to/will have a good day!

This is kind of of a drama stirring ask, but I was reading your post on your favorite riders on the current grid and you mentioned that you became fond of all the 2019 rookies except one of them. I was just wondering if there is any specific reason for that? Not a fan or a hater of that one rider just unfortunately overly curious sometimes, feel free to ignore this ask if you do not feel comfortable answering it.

I also just wanted to mention that I love the way you described Fabio in that post as a sad Frenchie because I immediately pictured a sad French bulldog and somehow that felt completely fitting. And I also laughed so hard when I read the part about about how Joan looked like he was so scared that Marc was going to eat him.

My favorite part of the post though was when you were talking about Pecco's super up and down performance and wrote something like Ok you won. but? why? were? you? in 13th? to begin? with? I don't know if this was what you were going for but the disappointed, but not surprised scolding parent tone I got from it was immaculate. I really hope next year Pecco remembers he has a backbone because if the vibes at Ducati are not rancid what even it the point?

oh tbh there's no real story there!! idm answering but i also don't have a great answer... it's just which ones of them personally caught my eye. early 2019 was a time when i was gradually reestablishing friendly relations with my primary sport and watching motogp was just hoping for... well, not a complete changing of the guard, exactly, because i like marc a lot more than i do the dominant athletes in said other sport. but some competition, some tension. the dovi rivalry kinda felt like it had run its course at some point in 2018 when it became pretty clear dovi probably wasn't ever going to match his 2017 challenge, let alone go one step further. valentino was increasingly washed + the 2018 yamaha was so mediocre that a lot of his very respectable efforts felt like an exercise in futility - and the vinales experiment is one that i'd also given up on at some point that year. (kinda ironic given where yamaha's next champion came from but tennis fans will know what i mean when i say i always referred to vinales as having a case of 'french brain'. actually was worried fabio might have a severe case of french brain until he won the title.) i had basically zero hopes for honda!jorge panning out, like it was conceptually fun (as casey said, get out the popcorn) but also we'd literally just seen jorge take over a year to even begin to adapt to a bike that didn't seem quite as unfriendly as the honda. also, he'd been injured for much of late 2018... idk kinda felt his time was up

which is a pretty dire competitive picture. like the racing was still good, a lot better than it is now, but it was also... this isn't a marc thing, i'm just not really the type of person who can enjoy winning for winning's sake. i do need a story. it all felt a bit depressing, also interpersonally - marc/valentino continued to be the main source of tension but it also meant marc wasn't really doing anything interesting with anyone else on the grid. the dovi relationship is like... civil, but nothing more than that, so mainly it really is just marc giving the side of valentino's scalp a thorough examination once a week. not really the web of intricate interpersonal relations + conflict of the alien era, is it. or guys in the early to mid noughties actually LIKING each other and HANGING OUT and a bit more of an interesting dynamic because you feel like these blokes have actual relationships with each other. dovi/marc as a rivalry is practically designed to make me feel a bit morose and irritable... and dovi came across as a little too resigned to his fate, jorge/dovi teammates was also taken away from me, and it already felt pretty clear marc wasn't going to leave honda when his next contract expired. (not that i thought he'd sign for another FOUR YEARS, obviously that didn't go like anyone was expecting but i can't say i was particularly thrilled at that announcement.) i had a bit of hope for alex rins but also i hadn't really seen THAT much from him. zarco-caused narrative juice also felt like very much a 2017 thing. morbidelli pretty meh rookie season, iannone experiment felt over, miller experiment felt over... you get the spirit

and basically at this point i wasn't looking at the 2019 rookies primarily in terms of personality, it was literally just an evaluation of whether one of these bozos could please, please, please give marc a proper challenge. from those, pecco was obviously the immediately eye-catching one - had just put together an impressive moto2 campaign, then rocked up and had an excellent pre-season testing. i wasn't like... completely sold, because tennis-pilled brain does at a certain point make you think that unless you're already breaking lap records as a toddler, it's probably not going to pan out for you. but obviously i was theoretically interested in a valentino protege going up against marc, and pecco had built up enough positive credit in my bank that i was willing to forgive a lot in 2019. (muttering to myself 'casey crashed a lot too, casey crashed a lot too, casey crashed a lot too' every time a rookie is driving me insane.) mir had quite an eye-catching first ride on the suzuki iirc... also obviously had that moto3 title going for him. i vaguely remember injury eventually just sort of fucking him over in his rookie season? and quartararo... obviously wasn't REALLY on my radar, like I knew about the pre-moto3 resume which did actually play into my 'breaking lap records as a toddler' bias. but also obviously he was the standout that season, like he was properly exciting... and also just the little things, how frustrated he was after losing to marc or when marc was pissing about in sepang qualifying. made you hope we could get something going there. oliveira just went under the radar a bit for me,, like this wasn't entirely FAIR because given machinery differences i would defo say he had a better rookie season than pecco and had run pecco pretty close in 2018. but also i'd also been supporting pecco for the moto2 title the previous year lol, not with all THAT much investment but he was a fun kid idk. so sometimes you just get to a point where you get used to rooting against someone. generally you'll already have an opinion on blokes before they even get to motogp, right

and yeah, genuine affection for these guys developed the following years... i mean, fabio only REALLY got me in 2020 when i was watching him throw his title bid away. and mir grew on me ever more as the suzuki project went down the drain. bagnaia actually has this fantastic quality that allows me to root for him, where every time i go 'hm he's winning too much' he puts the fear of god back into me. like i had this moment during qatar this year where i was like... idk, come on. and then obviously he's taking me on such a great rollercoaster ride and by the end of the season i'd basically never been more invested. i actually have quite possibly the worst type of sports fan brain - runner-up brain. i root for people who come close to winning but can't quite make it. my history as a sports fan is littered with these second tier athletes you can be delusional about but will never actually make you happy. and what i've discovered following motogp is that apparently this even extends to liking the guys i like less when they're winning and more when they're losing. the problem with this is that it's a recipe to always being miserable, which. well. it is what it is. luckily i'm not THAT emotionally invested in motogp, like if i'm not enjoying it i can just stop watching for a while lol and i'll be free of it. it's not that serious

so that's it tbh!! i don't even particularly dislike oliveira - his luck has been abysmal with aprilia and i do feel quite sorry for him throughout all that. yamaha will do him well i reckon (might be a crazy thing to say but yamaha is my team and i have decided to sniff the #hopium, idk i think we might actually be cooking). there ARE some riders i root against, oliveira is not one of them. i feel decidedly neutral towards him. also whatever casey might think about portugal being a province of spain, it's always good to have an extra nationality on the grid. he seems like a bit of a character, like sometimes i see a quote from him that makes me raise an eyebrow and i like raising an eyebrow. but also... his profile of rider is 'guy who can do incredible things on his day but disappears for months at a time', which has just never been the type of athlete i go for. (i think this is actually the main reason, like it's an aggravating pattern of results to me personally that always makes me go 'maybe do this more often?????') i'm way more about the #grinders and the guys who worry away at getting better for years and years and still eventually come up short. anyway, glad you liked the descriptions of fabio and mir lol, apparently i really will bring up that mir clip at any excuse

on pecco, i DO stand by the gags i made in the post probably maybe,, but also i have adjusted a little in response to just how wild the discourse around him gets... like i don't see much of it anymore because i practise #contentcuration but i know it's out there!! ultimately the ways in which he's frustrating push all my buttons, and also (controversial opinion) i do think he actually cleaned up his act in some regards, just everyone's upped their level this year. it's partly the gp24 but jorge + pecco's qualifying record this year has genuinely been so impressive to me, like there's so many fp1's i half followed and went 'hm another q1 excursion for mr bagnaia do we think' before seeing he'd figured it out late in... what's it called now, practise? awful nomenclature. i also did not post this because at a certain point you just have to give up and move on, but i calculated the error rate of each title winner and runner-up this century (where 'error' is strictly defined as any crash that was not CLEARLY caused by an external factor, so racing incidents like with marquez x2 counted but not binder at jerez sprint)... and again. it's six for pecco from forty bloody races. divide that by two (even though twenty races still longer than most seasons historically) and you're already at a considerably less apocalyptic three, which you don't need to do any fancy calculations with to know isn't a historical aberration. what it comes out as is... fine. it's fine. both marc and valentino have won titles with a higher percentage rate of error (and even there you're sometimes being generous - counting casey's laguna 2008 misadventure as an error and not whatever tf marc was up to in argentina 2018 feels quite unfair, but you need clear criteria y'know)... it's just a narrative that has completely gotten away from reality and it's a bit annoying. i also think ultimately sometimes you are punished more for relatively minor missteps, like both marquez brother incidents are 60:40-ish things either way that pecco probably shouldn't have gotten himself involved in... but the punishment doesn't quite befit the crime. and jorge likewise sometimes just got a bit lucky, like marc crashing out right ahead of him in thailand and giving him the warning he needed. it's such a long season, all these things add up, and sometimes... sometimes things just shake out a certain way. pecco likely lost more than ten points cumulatively through incidents that were 100% not his fault, jorge put together an extremely impressive season on a satellite bike and is very deserving of the title. idk stuff like this is so completely pointless because you might as well be arguing with the wall, like people just enjoy a certain pecco narrative at this point and it's not going to change so. no point arguing about this any further. but that's where i stand on THAT

and yeah i feel like i was quite optimistic about next season like... halfway through the year, but tbh. i'm not feeling it at the minute. i mean i've barely thought about it, all the time i have available thinking about motogp has really just been about the old stuff. which is such a rich text that i'm never REALLY going to complain about motogp, like at the end of the day i do enjoy following it *as a sport* and it is just so extremely extremely unlikely that we ever get anything that lives up to the old stuff. did you know that one guy put a curse on another guy?? it's crazy. so yeah, whatever, it's a different landscape now. competitively i am a little worried we're in for '2018 but with worse racing', which is unfair to pecco - he's a better, more well-rounded rider than dovi ever was facing off against a different version of marc. but i kinda feel like you NEED a decent title fight in this era to sustain your interest, like i'm not tuning in for the racing am i. which was the case in 2017-19!! but unfortunately we're keeping the shitty michelin front for another year, which just means that it's going to be monumentally hard for those two to actually put on extended duel. it's not their FAULT, it's just the limitations of the current series. i do hope we're going to get *one* proper proper duel... but the problem with marc is that it also takes quite specific circumstances for that to even matter - either you need to repeatedly beat him to start fraying at his nerves (see mid-2019 pre-misano) or your name needs to be valentino rossi. otherwise he can mostly accept that the relentless pace will be what wins him the title and you have duels that feel quite disconnected from the storyline of the season, which was historically the problem with the marc/dovi duels. they're fun in the moment!! it's good racing!! but it's also a bit... you know, these duels don't necessarily all stick in the mind the same way because they don't each come with their own story. austria 2017 vs austria 2019 just aren't the same level of distinctive as brno 2003 vs brno 2005, right. i will say both proper marc/pecco duels, aragon 2021 and jerez 2024, have been distinctive and memorable and interesting - so we'll see!! you could be in for a great duel at *checks notes* mugello or assen, but that would mean pecco's probably in quite a lot of trouble that season... catalunya, jerez, qatar. those are the ones i am eyeing anyway

and the other bit of the equation is interpersonal tension, which i am also not super optimistic on. i will be a bit disappointed in both of them icl, but it does feel a bit like we're headed to... vaguely tense but also kinda muted coexistence. the problem is marc isn't going to engage with this stuff unless he absolutely has to, and pecco is so extremely committed to his stance that he wants to be a good sportsman, fair and respectful and all that shit. they're both extremely motivated to downplay any potential tension because marc's calculation is that, all other things remaining equal, he will beat pecco - and pecco just does not want the drama. unfortunately as we've already seen this year, people just cannot be normal about any tension between the two of them either, like it's just also not a media environment where guys can just say shit about each other. casey *probably* accused jorge of faking injuries severe enough they put jorge in a wheelchair back in the day, and i'm not saying that's GOOD or what we should be aiming for, but also can you imagine the equivalent outcry over something like that today?? (this is now the fifth unsolicited mention of casey in an ask response about current motogp, if anyone's counting.) and both pecco and marc are aware of that, and they also know that if they blink at each other wrong, some fans will completely lose their minds... it's just not really worth it. you always kinda hope the natural tension caused by being teammates will get something going... but yeah, idk man, sometimes you just need to be ready for disappointment. and pecco DOES need to actually challenge marc because otherwise obviously you're not getting any proper tension. literally no point in feuding if the competitive stakes aren't there, you need to be a real master of the craft to pull that sort of thing off

anyway that's all from me!! idm asks like this, i love talking about my opinions on stuff lol. we might be in for 1-2 quite disappointing seasons but hopefully the racing will get better again and the competitive picture a bit more lively. thing is i do LIKE 1v1 title fights in theory but i think then you do need a proper compelling interpersonal narrative to pull it off. otherwise the best ones are the 2006/2017 type free-for-all's. and obviously i still think pecco and marc have all the building blocks there for something fun, and individually i clearly care a lot about both of them... they're both just quite self-contained characters? they're never going to get close for obvious reasons but they also don't want to rock the boat too much. idk i feel like we might be missing a bit of an instigator in the jorge/valentino tradition, or someone who's casey-levels of tightly strung they make it easy to provoke them. which is obviously why i'm hoping pedro will eventually come through for me, though i'd prefer it if he weren't currently tied to bankruptcy enterprises. ah well, we'll see

[shytastemakerthing]

Hello! I saw that your matchups were open and I’d like some please?

For twisted wonderland, some romantic and platonic maybe? Idk. I kind of don’t know what I’m doing lol

Things about me bc that’s probably important:

- I am very……..very scatterbrained. I can remember what happened 10 years ago but not last week. Yesterday is nothing to me. My memory is either crystal clear or blurred completely, there’s no inbetween.

- Sometimes whether it’s late at night or just after a good movie I have what I call “crack energy” where I’ll start laughing hysterically at the most mundane things or at random things that I say.

- I have a lot of nervous tics, like picking dead skin on my fingers and rocking on my feet but I also have a few verbal ones as well (idk what else to call them, I make these random noises that change slightly depending on my mood).

- Depending on the circumstances I can either be extremely adaptable and rise to the occasion (like emergencies or when someone needs first aid) and in others I end up having a lot of anxiety than is healthy to the point where I’ll start to shake/count money wrong (the line at DQ starts to get pretty long). But either way, I’m very good at trying things out at least once.

- I?? I love frogs and snakes and all sorts of critters. I also love macabre decorations like animal bones used to decorate picture frames? I live for that. Mushrooms have been among my favorite types of fungus for years, I love seeing how people have studied them.

- while I’m not the most athletic person, I do take a Brazilian jiu jitsu class twice a week and I’m close to testing for my final belt in a self defense class. It’s really fun, but violent (In my first class I learned the guillotine choke which has become my favorite since then).

- No matter what happens I try to look on the bright side of things, although with a slightly morbid twist. Like, for example, “if this campsite floods and we’re swept away, at least we’ll be a cool news story to read about” or something. Also, I love to travel and visit people.

- I am very affectionate, but when a certain time of the month rolls around I am very VERY emotional, and it’s awful the two days leading up to it. When I’m really angry at something I have what my family calls a “death glare” that my brothers are apparently terrified of. It’s only something I can properly pull off when I’m properly mad, and I I can’t think about it either or else it doesn’t work. If I’m not angry, I might be crying over something small (usually the result of a whole bunch of other things spilling over into a breakdown.

- I have a weighted stuffed octopus and it’s become one of my most prized possessions. I have a lot of stuffed animals but it’s become my favorite bc I love feeling weight on me for some reason.

Hope that was enough, have a good night amazing human!!!

Hello and thank you for your request!! I hope you are well and in regards to this request, I did both a romantic and platonic match up!

Enjoy!!

Romantic:

I match you with........

Jade Leech

🍁 As soon as he heard about your love for mushrooms, you gained an invitation to join thr mountain lovers club as well as an invitation to come and help him take care of his terrariums pretty fast. He is committed.

🍁 You both often find each other swapping cacts about various mushrooms that you have learned about all while watching each other as if you both just hung the stars in the sky (Floyd sees this and gags..... he's lonely)

🍁 Speaking of Floyd, Jade has had tk take care of him for a good long while and his own personality so needless to say, he can handle you being scatterbrained better than anyone else. Honestly, he says that Floyd is so much worse so this is actually pretty nice.

🍁 To help with how your brain can be in recalling much of anything, he has left quite a few little sticky notes all around for you to find with needed information. Every single day, there is one on your door reminding you to take necessary breaks and to eat something.

🍁 Now, these anxious habits of yours? He has plenty of much better alternatives for you to help with this, mostly goes for picking your dead skin. He would happily whisk you away for an easier and far more relaxing mean of getting rid of it, free of charge. He is very well intune with your emotions and anxiety to know when it all begins even before you do. Anxiety has gone down because of this eel.

🍁 He does not mind your affectionate nature (again, Floyd), and to be honest, he quite loves it. Just make sure there is no one else around to see such softness and we will be just fine.

🍁 And when that lovely time of suffering arrives (IYKYK😭), he has everything that you need before you even say it.... EVERYTHING. Water? Check. Snacks? Grabbed all of your favorites on the way here. Pain mess? He keeps them even in HIS dorm. If a mess has been made? He has already has a warm shower running for you and while you're standing there, he has already changed the sheets and got dirty ones in tbe washer, fresh sheets on the bed, followed by your favorite drink, snack, book, and/or movie ready. Then helps you wash up, gets you in fresh clothing and now you're relaxing comfortably in bed wktn your loving eel.

🍁 Overall, if there is anything you need, Jade will a absolutely have it ready for you. He loves when you hike with him for new mushrooms or surprise him by showing up at the lounge, or even just your presence alone, he is very much happy.

Platonic:

I match you with......

Azul Ashengrotto

🐙 I saw that you have a weighted octopus plushie and that settled this debatebfir me as for a platonic matchup. (I want one now but y'know....*cries in broke*)

🐙 Azul would be the absolute KING at heloig through your nerves and anxieties. Look, he may not look it, but he has plenty if these issues himself, and he has found many helpful ways to work through them that he will be sharing with you, free of charge because you're able tk keep Jade in check, which also helps to keep Floyd in check.

🐙 He saw your weighted octopus plushie and nearly lost it because it was probably the best thing that this poor boy has seen (somebody please give the octopus a hug, he needs it). He has gotten you more.

🐙 As his dearest friend, as he likes to refer to you as, you do get discounts at the lounge. And ONLY you. It's not much as he still wants to bring in the madol, but hey, something is a lot better than nothing.

🐙 Speaking of Madol, if he hears your struggling a hit lately, of are just running a bit low and are in need of some things, he is on his way to your aide, no contract needed (honestly, he stopped trying after a week after seeing you would never sign one, and you're also dating his vice housewarden, who happens tk be his right hand mand, who also happens to be his childhood best friend).

🐙 I can see Azul as someone who would like some macabre things. He lived under the ocean, the ocean is a very dangerous place, and you use what you have. Skeletal remains are among those things, so this live of yours would not bother him. He'd even help you collect.

🐙 Overall, a friendship with the hoursewarden of Octavinelle and the leader of the infamous trio has quite a lot of benefits for you. Not that you are complaining. Great perks, discounted food, and so much more. It's certainly worth it.

[irrealisms]

You dont have sex because you're waiting for marriage or because being gay is a sin?

man i dont remember posting anything abt not having sex/celibacy/being side b before this ask, idk what this was inspired by. it's probably bait (and, quite frankly, it's none of your business why i'm having or not having sex) which is why i waited almost a full week to answer but i'm going to answer it anyway (once) because i want to be open about this. if you or anyone else is interested in having a discussion on why i believe the things i do, send me a message or an ask off anon. i'm much more willing to be vulnerable in a setting that isn't "anon question that is probably bait".

as a clarification that will probably mean very little to my secular followers but will be appreciated by my side b followers (and hopefully at least mean something to my side a Christian followers): i reject this dichotomy. i'm celibate because i'm gay--but i don't think being gay is a sin. i am gay. i do not believe my existence is a sin. i believe that i've found many beautiful and true things from being gay, and that God made me gay for a reason. i am glad i'm gay, and i don't wish i were straight or pray to become straight. so, so much of side b advocacy within the Church is focused around making it clear that, while being gay comes with different temptations than being straight, it is not a sin to be gay. (note also: different temptations. not "being gay comes with temptations and being straight doesn't".) it would be a slap in the face to not start with that. i share a lot of thoughts on this with eve tushnet, who's also a side b Catholic lesbian; this post was incredibly meaningful to me on my journey, but check out her blog if you want more.

but also, yeah. i don't have sex because i converted to Catholicism with the intent of obeying the Church's doctrine. i note in my bio that i obey the doctrine of the Church. and, well, i can't get gay married as a Catholic, and i'm not supposed to have extramarital sex. so i don't i know that there are side a Catholics, many of whom i respect, but i'm not one of them. i don't believe in "ex-gay" therapy or "pray the gay away" and i don't think that being gay is inherently sinful, but (and here's the part that i assume you're reading for) i do believe that having gay sex is a sin. i follow the teachings laid out in the Catechism, to the best of my ability and understanding. that's in my about page. right now, for me, as a lesbian: that means celibacy. the Catechism is pretty clear on that, imo. i don't talk about this often because most of my friends (and, for that matter, tumblr followers) are queer non-Christians, many of whom have trauma around Christianity and Christian homophobia (which is, to be clear, very real, even if you agree that gay sex is a sin). but like... i'm just living my life. i go to Mass on Sundays and i fast during Lent (or get permission not to from the local priest, when my eating disorder makes it a health concern) because doing otherwise would be a sin; not having sex (or masturbating! which was/is tbh much harder for me to give up than partnered sex! but people ask a lot less about that, because it's less discourse bait and more clearly none of anyone else's business) is the same sort of thing, to me. was it hard (is it hard)? yes, sometimes. but God doesn't just ask me for sacrifices that are easy. maybe some day i'll change my mind again and become side a or deconvert altogether. maybe i'm wrong about things! but this is where i'm at right now.

for what it's worth, i'm happy. i don't hate myself. as mentioned earlier, i'm glad i'm gay and i don't want to be straight. my life is full of love--from friends, family, God. celibacy has had its downsides and painful moments for me, but it's also had its upsides and moments of joy. i've been able to deepen and prioritize and value my friendships. it's been valuable and beautiful and worth it. fundamentally: i believe what i believe, and i'm living true to that. if you want to unfollow me for this, go for it. if you want to filter it, my tag for religion + queerness + being side b is #too gay to live too trad to die.

[lofibeanie]

I have never been an Apple iDevice person but imma be honest, since Procreate put out the statement on anti-AI generated images and stuff, I have been looking into buying an iPad purely so I can start learning how to use Procreate (gdi for only being on iOS)

I have 3 pays until my birthday so HOPEFULLY I will be able to have enough saved to get it as a bday present to myself lol. I also have a con in a couple weeks so. Who knows how that will turn out. Artist Alleys make me wanna spend all of my money...I need to be careful :') I'm going both days so I need to be even more responsible LOL

Still umming and ahhing between the 11" and the 13" iPad Air M2 (I cannot justify the Pro, oof, I ain't made of money), and I definitely want the 256GB one. Obviously need the Apple Pencil too (Pro? Maybe?). Then there's the stuff like the case, need nib protectors too bc I want a paperlike screen protector bc I have a Samsung tablet atm and it's a glossy screen and it kinda sucks for drawing on. My Cintiq is a more matte screen which is SO MUCH NICER to draw on.

I have ideas and I want a portable option so I don't have to just sit at my desk, I can sit anywhere in the house or even bring it when I go out places, etc, etc...also Procreate has some really neat features (I love you CSP but I am not paying for 2 subscriptions) I was trying it out on my sister's iPad and it's pretty nice indeed, I could get used to this. Also the amount of user-made assets and tutorials for Procreate is so cool, I know I can definitely find something that's in the realm of what I'm wanting to do :3

Also I am one of those people who loves customising their devices and it's so much easier to do on an Apple device over an Android. I use a Samsung phone and I do have it to a point where I really like how I've customised it, but my tablet is another story - it's okay but ehhhh, I want it different. Yes I am going to change my icons when I get my iPad, this thing is gonna be so fun when I am done with it. Still thinking about if I should get a clear back folio case so I can stick prints and stuff in the back or if I should just go for a regular folio case, but that's a problem for idk, a few weeks from now.

Oh god my birthday is in just over a month-

Anyway yeah. Hoping to get the iPad and stuff around my birthday but knowing me it'll prooooobably be closer to Christmas but also I hate waiting so we'll see if my impatience is stronger than my impulsively spending on other stuff I don't need - place your bets now /hj

[gogtopia]

how're u feeling jules :(

i was gonna give a meme answer tbh but i figure i should say something. i’m sad. and disappointed. but i’m not necessarily surprised. even if i tried to keep my blog more uplifting and positive i did have a feeling that this could be the case and had some conversations in private about it. i miss those friendships that i really cared about but i grieved them weeks ago

as much as i want to see the best in quackity because he’s like tied with george as my favorite streamer, i do think he’s being extremely immature in this situation. if an old friend reaches out to you personally about something like this, the right thing to do is respond to them regardless of how you might feel about it. i want to see the best in him because i’ve loved him for so long and i think that people claiming that he’s dropping dream over drama are probably oversimplifying it. idk i feel that quackity’s work has historically been unintentionally overshadowed by others and not taken seriously so it makes sense why he’d freak out when his more famous friend announces such a similar project to his own. but i can’t truly know his thought process because i’m not him and neither can anyone else, whether they’re a fan, hater, or something in between. i don’t think anything can excuse how disappointing it is that he can’t even respond to a discord message from someone he has been friends with for three years. i doubt that he revels in the toxicity of parts of his fanbase (i think that’s a pretty extreme take, and i’ve seen it from both sides) but at this point he should make an effort to put a stop to that behavior, especially when someone privately made him aware of it.

so yeah, i’m pretty disappointed. i still hope that quackity sees those tweets and actually talks things out with dream, regardless of the conclusion. i think when you lock yourself away in a bubble, it’s easy for negative feelings like resentment and jealousy to brew. a good honest conversation would do everyone some good, even if it means going their separate ways afterward (though selfishly i hope the friendship is salvageable, especially because his friendship with george is always something that meant a lot to me)

honestly as for me, idk whether i’ll change what i post or not. i’ve been posting less in general and the past few days i’ve been both busy and fairly focused on other content (i just don’t rlly post about it). i’ll probably wait to see this through before i make any dramatic changes to my blog or make up my mind in any way because i honestly don’t know fully how i feel and i think that the dtblr community knows well that sometimes taking an extreme stance against a creator that you used to love while emotional can lead to some regrets, to say the least. this is probably all i will say about the situation. i seriously doubt i’ll ever turn into a quackity anti even if i don’t agree with him in this situation (though i may end up taking a step back from his content idk) and like it says in my pinned, i try to steer clear of cc neg across the board so you don’t have to worry about seeing any vitriol directed at him here